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/qst/ - Quests

File: DragonQuest2.jpg (9 KB, 299x169)
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Twitter: QuestingQM
Note that Twitter currently is down because I forgot my password.

Character Sheet (Full!):https://drive.google.com/open?id=1jI0aGxA_2h3SAcPYri-1fdgskbK3IbtfEzSLJ7VY9gU
Character Sheet (Renexizious Only!): https://drive.google.com/open?id=1xgNKMzLUZS9L05DUCxmsvuYs-bGPIRpQsFv5k7oaBBk

Last time on EDQ, we gave up the papacy, deradicalized the Draconia Firma, and embarrassed Elizabeth insanely.

We also had Chrysoula cry, extremely upset about her week.

Right now, we're relaxing with Chrysoula.

"Come on Chrysoula. You cried earlier. Who the hell is being a fucking asshole to you?!"

"R-ren, it's fine..."

"It's not fine! Someone was an asshole to my Chrysoula!"

She cuddles up to you, afraid of what you'll do.

"Ren... T-they didn't know, ok?"


"I-it was just a group of humans who d-didn't know any better... A-and I don't blame the construction workers for not liking me..."


Worried, she hugs you even harder, as your rage only increases. Both from the alcohol you drank and the anger your experiencing.

"R-ren... Come on..."

You currently are trying to get Chrysoula to tell you more about why her week's been so bad, and apparently there's a bunch of fuckin' assholes...

You grit your teeth, as Chrysoula's grip tightens...


>Press. Now. If he's getting harassed at work by humans or construction workers... (Satisfy Renexizious's protective nature of his wives. Gives you a upgrade if revenge is fulfilled. Increases Flames and Solaire's opinion of you. Due to Chrysoula being in love with you utterly, you'll suffer no opinion loss from her. Also might actually make Chrysoula happier at work.)
>...Calm down... You have a lovely wife who doesn't want you pissed off... (Calm down and become a little unhappy, and lose opinion with Flames and Solaire... Chrysoula's work happiness might decrease over time though...)
>...Vent your anger a different way... (Get no bonus or side-effect, but Renexizious's rage might bubble up throughout the rest of the week or month.)
>..Tell Elizabeth. She's just as invested to protect her. (Elizabeth get's involved, and she will grant you a bonus to getting Chrysoula to tell you. And Elizabeth might get very angry indeed, unless you try to calm her. Free Action.)
>...Calm down... You have a lovely wife who doesn't want you pissed off... (Calm down and become a little unhappy, and lose opinion with Flames and Solaire... Chrysoula's work happiness might decrease over time though...)
Hold on.
One second.

Weren't we dealing with humans and their racism?
And I thought the construction workers where werewolves
I'm going to wait a while longer anons.

Mind if I ask why you want to calm down?
Oh and another question.
Anon why should we ignore this problem?
Just have Ren calm the fuck down
Well, the construction workers are werewolves and humans, but most are werewolves.

Also, anons got sidetracked after de-radicalizing the Draconia Firma and the whole dealing with racism thing I was planning to do after this.
>Calm down.
But let's not ignore the problem.
We should try to help chrysoula...
Actually I have an idea

We funded a orc blacksmith right?
Maybe we should call in a favor?
You decide to calm down... But not necessarily ignore the problem.

Roll me a 1d20+3 (-1 from alcohol) to calm down. If this is a failure, for the rest of the week Renexizious might have a hair-trigger on anger.

+3 if you can find a way to destress and calm down. (+1 if it's either lustfully or being extremely loving to Chrysoula)
+1 if you can attempt to apologize for being so angry and rage-filled. (+1 if you can try to be worried about her after this and try to have her less scared about your anger.)
+1 if you can be a bit barbaric and uncivilized after this.
Rolled 4 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

Rolled 9 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

Pull her close and cuddle.
And rub her horns and take some deep breaths.

>I'm sorry if I worried you for a bit. It's just aggravating don't you think.

Release a nice long belch.
Get out the tension.
Allowing samefagging if you can be a bit more barbaric and civilized, and try to destress further.
Rolled 14 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

Pass gas.
Drink more.
Sink deeper into the nice hot tub.
Smash the beer cans against our foreheads to crush them.
Rolled 20 (1d20)



You pull her close to you and you cuddle...

"I'm sorry if I worried you for a bit. It's just aggravating..."

You rub her horns, and take some deep breaths... After a bit of cuddling, you drink even more, and you let out a belch...

Chrysoula giggles a bit at that, and the two of you drink some more mead... Both of you gradually become a bit more intoxicated.

"Y-you know, thanks for getting angry for me... I-I think it's n-nice for you care..."

"Yeah... Hang on..."

You order a second slave to bring you more alcohol, and you sink deeper into the hot tub... You decide against smashing the beer glasses against your face, as glass typically hurts and you'd rather not be in a pool with glass shards.

After a bit of relaxation and trying to calm down, the slave comes back with another plate full of mead, and he puts it on a table next to the bathtub...

"S-sir? T-the chief servant wanted me to tell you some things..." The slave says. You sigh, getting up from the bubbly surface of the bath...

"What? Make it good..."

"Erh... Your wife is..."

"Which one?"

"The erh... Scaly one. The dragon."

"Ah, Elizabeth... You must be from... Where?"

"I-I'm from Valkastad sir. A-a-a town you raid, sir."

"Ah... I have no idea where that is. Now, what the fuck do you want? I'm busy."

"Erh... Your wife Elizabeth is erh... Well, she wanted to tell you to leave the bath in "pristine condition."


"In... I think she said thirty-five minutes she was going to take a bath to "recuperate from being embarrassed" or something. And she apparently wants it alone without you."

"Oh, I see... Well, maybe. Now, what else?"

"Erh... Your uh... Brother's here. Your mother's sent a request that you come to her... And erh, for Charlemagne's return Revenaris and Joan are staying for a bit..."

"I see... Joan? She moved?"

"Oh... Right... Hang on..."

The slave gets out a piece of paper.

"She's living in England and attending military schooling there."

"Oh... That's interesting... Now, what else?"

"Your uh... Well... Renexizia's has been extremely bored and... Well..."

Oh god.

Ignore my rolling.
A 20?
We should be fine.
Rolled 2 (1d20)

"Alright. So what did she do?"

"Erh... She sort of... She's uh..."

He looks at the document closely...

"Well... Apparently she's... Well... Apparently she's broken into the Louvre in France and personally ate most of the paintings there before kidnapping twelve artists during an exhibit and enslaving them, then eating seven more artists... And setting the abstract art section of the Louvre on fire, along with eating most if not all of the artwork in the museum before hanging up "superior art" such as works from Revenaris and leaving Leonardo di Vinci's paintings alone... She's erh... However being regarded as a national hero in France after it was... Discovered that most of the paintings were actually faked and were stolen; after she made a comment regarding how they tasted like "paper" and were clearly fake, apparently the artists she ate were considered to be abstract artists and were largely despised by the public, and the artists she kidnapped are making more paintings, which has actually endeared her to many fans of the painters... And erh... Apparently the only part of the museum which burned down was the abstract part of the museum, which held the original paintings..."

The slave continues on.

Your family's PR in France has slightly increased, and so has Renexizia's fame and PR.

Ignore my rolling.
>Renexizia ate all the degenerate art
Nice. Hopefully she ate Pablo Picasso as well.
Can abstract even be degenerate?
"...Renexizia also apparently left most of the classical and romanticist art intact though; mostly pre-17th century art, and left the ancient artwork exhibit completely and utterly intact, and ate an entirely different museum of Foreign Art and Culture, building, staff, and everyone inside; sparing only the Oriental art wing, which she left intact... Called everyone who even liked the African and Muslim exhibits as having "shit taste", and has... Offended quite a few Africans and Muslims..."


"Erh... Apparently she's being called racist now..."

Renexizia's opinion among Africans and Muslims has plummuted, and your PR among them has been reduced greatly.

"So uh... Is that it?"

"Erh... Well..."

Roll me a 1d20. Only one roll though. Anything below fifteen means she continues rampaging. Anything above fifteen means she's content for now.
Rolled 11 (1d20)

Rolled 6 (1d10)

Excuse me while I roll for where Renexizia's rampage takes her next.


"Luxembourg, sir."

"...Luxembourg. She's raided Luxembourg."


Roll me a 1d20+8 to see how fucked Luxembourg is in damages.

Also, if anons can somehow think of something for Renexizia to either want, nom, destroy, have fun, or be angry about in Luxembourg, then the damage zone will be reduced to that.

Also, how do anons feel about Renexizia's rampage so far?
Rolled 15 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

We should take her out more.
And get khorne to undo her taint.
When we made the deal he never said our kids would be affected by it.
plus he owes us considering we also never had allowing his cults in our world as part of the deal.

And have her focus on food and butter factories.
Rolled 3 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

I like it for now at least.
Rolled 4 (1d20)


Good Success!

"Well... Renexizia apparently ate most of the butter and food factories in Luxembourg. And the contents."


"She apparently was hungry. And she felt like it... She also apparently caused quite a bit of unemployment and the Luxembourgs want four million in reparations."


"Erh... She also slid through the streets covered in butter, stole some jewelry... Apparently broke into a few banks, then promptly demanded to the Luxembourg council that they declare her Queen of Luxembourg, hand over their entire supplies of butter, any and all artwork that she doesn't like... Erh... Also apparently demanded a festival in her honor..."

Ignore my rolling.
Ya know.
Now that I look at islamic art.
It's not that bad.
Glasswork is pretty fucking nice
"She also uh... As her first and only act as the "Queen of Luxembourg" was to eat a councilman who was accused of corruption, raided the rest of the banks in Luxembourg and gave the money out to the people, and after interrogating a few bank owners, personally ate most of the politicans in Luxembourg and enslaved the rest... Then promptly set fire to their government building. She also ordered a statue of herself built; and afterwards stepped down from power after stealing a warehouse full of diamonds and gems, and giving a little bit back to the people... And then also blew up a politician's ranch. There was surprisingly enough, no civilian casualties."

"...Wait... A warehouse?"

"A... Five story warehouse, about 25,000 square feet... She picked it up and stole it... Elizabeth's more then a little upset as apparently most of those politicians were "friends to the Empire of Britian."

Luxembourg's population somewhat likes you more.
Corrupt Politicians are now terrified of Renexizia.
Elizabeth is a little angry about this.

Roll me a 1d20 to see if she continues or not.

Anything below a 12 will have her continue.
Rolled 13 (1d20)

Not all bad.
I'd like less random destruction though.
Oh, also...

You have gained 8$ Million in money from the gems she stole.
Luxembourg is also in a bit of a succession crisis now.

"Erh... Apparently she uh... Went to Constantinople, and is sleeping in the palace there, alongside her "friends" and money and gems she stole..."


Renexizia has upgraded from her rampage's damage.

Choose two upgrades anons.

>Stable Mutation
>Unstable Mutation
>Ultra Unstable mutation.
>Upgrade Mutation (Only Adorable can be upgraded.)

Also anons, I put down in Friendly Behemoth's Renexizia's character sheet and how Claw and Pragius and Renexizia gets mutations. Claw has two ways to get them.
>Stable Mutation

>Stable Mutation
Hopefully find something to curb her chaos urges.

>Adorable is a legit mutation she has.
It's not as effective as when she was younger, but she can still do it sometimes.

So anons want to put two upgrades into stable?
We have two?
Oh yeah.
Put the other into upgrading adorable.
Her Adorable mutation has upgraded...

Choose a path to go down anons.

FREE for upgrading Adorable, if you want it.
>Attractive. (Renexizia goes from being adorable to being attractive physically to the other sex. This grants her a +1 to Charisma, and an additional +1 to Charisma against males and PR loss with them is halved for her. This is also considered "a free mutation" since she's Elizabeth's child, and can be taken alongside any of the other two mutations.)

>Destructive Adorableness. (Renexizia has a tendency to do adorable things without knowing, from destroying buildings by rolling over like a puppy because it'd be "fun" for example. She gets a +1 to Charisma, and if she destroys/eats/kills/etc things/people/etc while being adorable about it, the potential PR loss could be reduced or if upgraded enough, completely nullified, and gains more PR by doing adorable things.)
>Child-like Adorableness. (Renexizia becomes a bit more childlike and gets a +1 to Charisma and all PR loss among females is halved. She also is more naive and typically tends to forget the ramification of her actions.)
Keep in mind, if you just want to, you can just upgrade from Adorable to Attractive. You can basically just choose Attractive alongside one of the other two mutations, and if you only get Attractive and end it there, that's where you spend your mutation point in. If you get Attractive and Child-Like Adorableness then your one point gets both of those.
>Attractive. (Renexizia goes from being adorable to being attractive physically to the other sex. This grants her a +1 to Charisma, and an additional +1 to Charisma against males and PR loss with them is halved for her. This is also considered "a free mutation" since she's Elizabeth's child, and can be taken alongside any of the other two mutations.)

>Child-like Adorableness. (Renexizia becomes a bit more childlike and gets a +1 to Charisma and all PR loss among females is halved. She also is more naive and typically tends to forget the ramification of her actions.)

>Eating people
pick one.
>Attractive. (Renexizia goes from being adorable to being attractive physically to the other sex. This grants her a +1 to Charisma, and an additional +1 to Charisma against males and PR loss with them is halved for her. This is also considered "a free mutation" since she's Elizabeth's child, and can be taken alongside any of the other two mutations.)
If I remember right, anons managed to get her out of the "nomming people isn't ok" after they got into an argument with Elizabeth. So she thinks its alright.
I don't remember that?
We were talking about it with her but we never convinced her eating people was okay.

Actually all we did was tell her our and liz's morals where different.
took her to get ice cream then went to the table top store.
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Shit. Now I remember that.

Well, let me just ret-con her eating a few people... She uh, just enslaved everyone. Yep.
No people were technically nommed. Just enslaved.

So do anons want to just take attractive or also get Child-Like Adorableness? Which will also make her even more naive.
I'm wanting to take both.
Alright. So I assume both.

Renexizia is now quite attractive. She's also a bit of a baby-face and quite adorable now.

Now, for stable mutations...

>Kind-Hearted. (Renexizia tends to be surprisingly kind-hearted, and tends to enjoy helping people and being nice to others.)
>Weak Ice Aura. (Renexizia develops an ice aura to help her keep cool!)
>Large. (Renexizia becomes 25 stories large, and +2 to Strength. She however loses -2 Agility.)
>Enhanced Wingspan. (Renexizia flies faster and gets +2 to Agility.)
>Intimidating. (Renexizia gets a +2 to Intimidation.)
>Ambitious. (Renexizia tends to do things to further her own and her family's agenda, and typically enjoys having power.)
>Kind-Hearted. (Renexizia tends to be surprisingly kind-hearted, and tends to enjoy helping people and being nice to others.)

This should further help prevent PR loss
kind hearted
>Enhanced Wingspan. (Renexizia flies faster and gets +2 to Agility.)
Renexizia is now kind-hearted!

She'll still go into "rampages" for fun, but typically try to avoid damaging people or property, and mostly try to do good things while doing it.

"So, that's all?"

"I believe so... Oh... Erh, Pragius is in Vietnam now."

"I see. How's it going?"

"He's sent word that it's too "wet" but he appreciates the heat. He does however criticize the "savages and their lack of honor" when it comes to battle though, and he's erh... He's terrifying the natives, currently."


"Well... A lot of villages think he's a demon..."

Roll me a 1d20 to see if Pragius's unintentionally terrifying status is good or bad.

+3 if Pragius can find ways to make himself less scary and terrifying to normal civilians and villages. (+2 if he can in fact be CHIVALRIOUS and a champion of Lawful Good. +1 if he can find ways to be nice to them.)
+2 if he can think of ways to be terrifying to the Viet Cong. (+1 if he can still be Lawful Good. +1 if he can use his great size to his advantage!)
+2 if he can find a way to calm his troops and not terrify them as much, even if he's a giant lion knight. (+2 if he can be Lawful Good and try to be nice and knightly to his troops! +1 if he can also compliment their previous commander! +1 if he can also appeal to their crusader-like zeal.)
+1 if he can however, make fun of Claw all the way in Vietnam somehow.
Rolled 19 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

Try using our human form more.
Activate our astral gear to heal natives that need it.

Use our size and sharp claws to clear thickly jungled areas and viet cong hideouts. We can then be nice and used those cleared out places to try and make habitable so humans have new places they can live.

Let's spend time in human form around the troops. Get to know them. And also giving knightly speeches about honor and dedicated service to our emperor never hurts.
Just saying.

A way to terrify the viet cong?
Loud roars by a giant lion in the middle of the night.
Everyone will hear it.
No one will want to approach it.
remark that Vietnam is as wet and as slimy as claw

Amazing Success!

"He's uh... Well, he's terrified most of the Vietcong into hiding, really, though most natives are still terrified of him... The troups like him a bit though."

"Hm... That's good. What else?"

"Well... Erh... Claw's snuck into the pantry and took most of your soda mead after apparently getting inspired off "base building" and is looking at the plans for Hansodr... And apparently trying to figure out the code to whatever a "video game" is..."

Huh... Claw's actually doing something productive for once!

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if Claw's great use of sugar helps him in making Hansodr great...

+3 if Claw can find a LOT of sugar. (+2 if he can get an outrageous amount of sugar. +2 if he can also get snacks.)
+2 if Claw can find a way to use his gelatinious form to get comfy somewhere while he comes up with ideas. (+1 if he can come up with a way to write it down in said form. If he uses someone else, think of a way to quietly absorb them and how to intimidate them into writing it down for you. +1 if it's someone else who he absorbs and scares into doing it because Claw has shit handwriting.)
+2 if Claw can think about what would help a heavily-industrialized place like Hansodr economically.
+2 if Claw can think about how to get werewolves to like him in Hansodr and how to improve their quality of life!
+2 if Claw can nerd out and think about what he could possibly add to World of Reichcraft if he figures out the code. (+1 if he can think how much fun it would be if Renexizious and all his friends would play it. +1 if he can think how much fun it would be if EVERYONE played it.)
+1 if Claw can have the slightest viking-like urge to maybe "go outside and loot stuff", and then dismiss it for something clearly far more important.
+1 if Claw can mutter insults about Pragius for trying to steal his best friend.

If everything is done and Claw consumes an insane amount of sugar and food, then Hansodr might actually go through a great economic and industrial boom.
Rolled 16 + 23 (1d20 + 23)

Raid for soda's, candies, cake, ,pastries, fruits, chips, literally raw sugar, get sugar cane and eat that, brown sugar. Literally every type of thing with sugar Also get best drink pepsi.

Temporarily borrow hans to get some ideas from him. and have him write them down.

We could use our slime balls to make a slime cushion in our room.

And better infrastructure to help move goods.
Better roads and building/building placements to cut down on work accidents and shit like fire. It'll help Civil services get around too.

A good way to get them to like us?
Add in some parks and places a wolf would enjoy with little plaques that said who ordered them constructed (Claw).

Well we could add things like raids and shit like that if we figure it out. And if our friends played they could help us with it.
And if everyone played we could add PvP.
And we can add more factions
Let people play as nazi's and allies.
And japan too.

And we COULD go raid places. but figuring out how to code WoR to add in factions is more important.

>"Fucking hairball trying to steal my best friend. I've been around here longer. Why the hell should he get any attention."
Since I think this is worthwhile enough that anons might want to samefag for a higher success, I'll let samefagging happen if you can think about how to get more comfy in your gelatinious form, and think of more ideas. And more ways for werewolves to like you.

The whole faction thing is in the game. If you want the bonus you'll need to think of other things.
also send a letter to ren to see if we can open soda and soda can factorys in hansodr then rename the city to hansoda. make the fullmoon a local holiday
Rolled 5 + 23 (1d20 + 23)

We can't make every day the full moon occurs a holiday.
Add in a christmas event where both sides call a ceasefire.

Add in espionage based classes.
Add in more vehicle based gameplay.
Like planes.

Add in behemoths.

Encourage some spas for furred species.

Oh and make the slime balls w use for resting on have air bubbles.
It'll make them softer and bouncier.
maybe change it to eclipse's then
Do anons want to do one more?
Rolled 16 + 23 (1d20 + 23)

We can also fund things like team sports for the werewolves.
For the kids at least.
They should appreciate it.

Oh and check on the piping in the city and make sure it's suited for creatures that would shed into it.
Rolled 9 + 24 (1d20 + 24)

>"Raiding Renexizia's part of the pantry, aw yeah, let's see, we got chocolate candies, chocolate bars, chocolate bunnies, jelly beans, potato chips, chocolate-covered pretzels, licorice, mead soda, popcorn, peanuts, chocolate covered peanuts, hazelnut toffee, ooo what's in this bag, gummy bears, and something called 'iced coffee', I'll just take a couple dozen cans of that too...man Renexizia gets all the good stuff."
>Claw sneaks up on Ren's head of staff, shoots out a gel tentacle, and zips him inside of him before the head of staff realizes what's happened. "So...uh...I kinda need your help, I need a dicta...dicto...I need someone with actual legible handwriting to write down what I say so I can remember it for later. I promise I won't keep you as a pet if you just do this one little thing for me. Please?" Claw initiates Doggo Eyes as he sheds enough slime to make himself a little doggy bed to curl up on for extra comfy.
>"Hm...we could always use more quick and easy, tasty food to eat on the ways to and from the factories, maybe some more kinds of fast food so they have some choice in what they eat? Maybe get some textile mills going, so they can have stronger clothing made locally, so its cheaper for them to buy, AND something else to export. And...how about some...maybe mandatory two days a week off, so they can go relax and spend their money somewhere?"
>"You know, if I was a 9-5 working dog, I'd love a nice forest to run and hunt in on my days off. Maybe see if Ren's done setting up that forest and wildlife services place he was thinking about, and set aside some of the forest as a hunting ground for werewolves. Could even make some money selling hunting licenses, and the profits from it going towards restocking and breeding more tasty hunting animals. Gets some of the stresses out too."
>"Well, now that the hard part's over with, what can I add to WoR... what would make Ren and all his friends want to play...I KNOW! Factions! I could add an Ally side, so that Ren can curbstomp them and feel superior! Ren loves feeling superior. Aw man, if everyone played it, then Ren would have lots more fun destroying them all, and they'd have tons of fun getting the chance to play with Ren! It's win-win!"
>"...Aw man, now I kinda wanna go outside, hunt up some animals and maybe loot some more of those rations from the bases...but nope, no time, I have to keep on planning. Hansodr and WoR are way, way more important. And, I already got like, most of Renexizia's snacks."
>"Let's see that fucking cat pull off something like this. The Great Hansodr Revival, they'll call it! A truly monumental proof that Claw is NOT an irredeemable autist fuck-up! Fucking cat wouldn't be able to be in charge of a town, he'd just sleep all the time and let it crumble. Ren would never choose him over me, look at all the effort I'm putting in here, while kitty goes and naps all over Vietnam. Pfft."
I wonder who this could be...
Well... If anons want... I have an idea for a higher success regarding the sugar and food idea for a much higher success.

You quickly "borrow" Hans from a meeting and rush back, and have him write a bunch of stuff down, while you pillage the pantry... Particularly Renexizia's section. It... It seems that someone else is in the middle of looting it. You see a small half-dragon child standing ontop of what seems to be a chair opening the pantry door, and grabbing a large two-liter of Pepsi and grabs most, if not all sweets from the bottom of the cabinet... She turns around, and the two of you lock eyes... Both fiercely competitive.

"If you tell dad or my sister, both will buy less sweets for both of us... So pwlease mister, don't tell daddy or my big sister..."

She looks up at you, with charming, adorable eyes... Wait a minute, that's your job!

"Well... Give me your candy then, and I wouldn't have to tell your dad... I need that more then you..."

The two of you fiercely do adorable eyes at each other, and you whine slightly...

"...We'll split it fifty fifty."

"Deal." You say, agreeing quickly to the candy.

You get a small amount of candy, then make sure to grab everything that might contain sugar... you even steal little sugar containers and sugar shakers and rush back to your room with your slime cushions, and close the door...

You begin to chow down and digest the delicious sugary food... Doesn't feel like enough, but it's nice...

Hans looks at you.

"You can't be serious about eating that much stuff."

"Hey! Our two diets are completely different... Besides, I'm starving... Also, sugar helps... Besides, can you write this stuff for me? I promise I won't keep you as a pet."

Hans quickly agrees... You however, find yourself missing Bismark and the radio guy...

You chug the soda down... It's not nearly enough, you feel like having more...

You remember your earlier thought... You could just... Go into town... Steal and digest some sugar and snacks for your work binge...

Might not be a bad idea.

What do anons?

>...Try to find MORE sugar. You had barely anything... (Depending on the amount of sugar and food consumed, Hansodr's economic boom could become much greater, along with life quality there.. (If it's an insane amount, it might just considered a "critical" success in an economic, industrial, and life boost in Hansodr.)
>You know what you need? You need even more people to help you! There might be some experts you can kidna- You mean, borrow... (Bonus to the economic boost!)
>...Eh... You... Had enough, you guess... Try to work... (Hansodr gets a small-moderate economic and industrial increase...)
Elisif kek.
>...Try to find MORE sugar. You had barely anything... (Depending on the amount of sugar and food consumed, Hansodr's economic boom could become much greater, along with life quality there.. (If it's an insane amount, it might just considered a "critical" success in an economic, industrial, and life boost in Hansodr.)

Raiding sugar factories wen?
Raiding all the pastry stores nearby wen?
would they even make sugar in sweden I don't think they have the climate to make sugar cane ,I'd say raid cargo ship worth of sugar at the docks
I was dead to the world yesterday, but now I'm back! Did you miss me?

>...Try to find MORE sugar. You had barely anything... (Depending on the amount of sugar and food consumed, Hansodr's economic boom could become much greater, along with life quality there.. (If it's an insane amount, it might just considered a "critical" success in an economic, industrial, and life boost in Hansodr.)
This anon is correct in the "sugar cane" department. But in theory Claw could just raid a soda factory.

You decide to find even more sugar...

You consider your options...

>Go to the docks... There might be a cargo ship full of delicious sugary products...
>Bakeries. They have sugar, flour, dough... Delicious things in general...
>...There's a Coca Cola factory in town... Just sneak in, and drink their entire product line... Though drinking a lot might not be good for you since your slimy and gelatinious.
>...Groceries stores have a ton of snacks... Though there's a lot of pesky customers...
>...You know, no one's going to miss a few slaves for a bit if they'll help you focus... Sneak into the slave quarters and absorb a few to help you focus.
>..Try to hunt for warehouses full of sugar, soda, snacks, or food...
>Write-In for things to either absorb or places that might have tons of sugar.

Also, keep in mind Claw does get bonuses and gets bigger (temporarily) from absorbing, so absorbing other things might just boost Claw and the Hansodr Economic Boost.
Nice to see you again.
Maybe not sugar cane.
>..Try to hunt for warehouses full of sugar, soda, snacks, or food...
>Go to the docks... There might be a cargo ship full of delicious sugary products...
>..Try to hunt for warehouses full of sugar, soda, snacks, or food...
>Write-In: Raid the Coca-Cola sugar silos. No sense in watering yourself down with all that liquid when you can just go straight to the sugar silos instead. If Ren can get away with it for butter, you can get away with it for sugar, right?
> other tell hans that the sooner we get the sugar the sooner he gets to go home
You decide to maybe head to the docks, raid for warehouses, and raid the Coca-Cola sugar silos...

You sneak to the Coca Cola™ factories... They're on the edge of town, and compose of seven huge factories, towering above your human form... Each one has smoke coming out of it, and large silos and warehouses containing sugar seem to be dominating the area... Though you note that Coca Cola™ seems to have a... preemptive defense against intruders, having what seems to be small watch towers and hired mercenaries patrolling around... You note most of them in fact seem to be werewolves, and have Coca Cola™ insignias and arm-bands, along with holding what seems to be shotguns armed with non-lethal bean-bag rounds, and seem to have tasers and hancuffs...

The mercenaries seem quite diligent, and thanks to their lycanthrope nature, can smell you and track you; and are very dexterous and strong...


What do anons?

>...Try to sneak in via climbing over the walls... Though this will likely leave a scent or smell from your slime...
>...Wait a minute... There should a truck coming and going to bring their product all over the place... You might be able to get some tasty sugar and get into a truck at same time...
>Sewers. They won't expect it!
>...Maybe you can try to take care of the guards?
>...Try to bum-rush the entrance and break in!
>...Fuck it. Go somewhere else.
>...Maybe all those mercs might try to head somewhere else if you cause an alarm... Maybe their cargo ships in the port might be a good target...
>Sewers. They won't expect it!
>...Maybe all those mercs might try to head somewhere else if you cause an alarm... Maybe their cargo ships in the port might be a good target...

>Companies hiring personal mercenaries.
Sometimes I worry about our empire.
>Sewers. They won't expect it!
Solid Snake this shit.
So do anons want to try sewers, the box tactic, or try raising the alarm elsewhere?
Rolled 1 (1d3)

>2:Solid Claw
I vote for box, but sewers is second preference.
I'll switch to box just because it sounds entertaining]
Box it is?

You go to find a proper box... Though it might be a bit hard...

What sort of box are you aiming for?

>A small cardboard box. Easy enough. (Human form. You'll have the scent of a human.)
>...A metal cargo container. You just need to find a way to take care of the bottom so you can walk... (Gelatinious Form. You'll have the scent of slime.)
>...Why not just try to find a truck, sneak into it, absorb and take care of the driver, and try to drive around in your gelatinious mass and pose as a driver when someone's looking? It's kind of like a box. Kinda.
>...A metal cargo container. You just need to find a way to take care of the bottom so you can walk... (Gelatinious Form. You'll have the scent of slime.)
Use acid to dissolve parts of the bottom so Claw can ooze his feet through and crawl. Assuming that no one delivers the metal cargo container to the sugar silos like the note on the container says.
>A small cardboard box. Easy enough. (Human form. You'll have the scent of a human.)
Now we need a eyepatch and a disfigured horn on our head.
And a prosthetic limb
>>...A metal cargo container. You just need to find a way to take care of the bottom so you can walk... (Gelatinious Form. You'll have the scent of slime.)
You find a metal cargo container behind a old factory, and dissolve the bottom of the container... Of course, you go to the brick walls of the Coca Cola factory...

Now of course, you prepare to go over the walls by trying to climb over...

Roll me a 1d20+7 to see if you can get over without leaving evidence.

+3 if you can think of a way to get over the 25 foot wall...
+2 if you can think of delicious sugar and how much you'll absorb tonight...
+1 if you can think why Hans doesn't want to be your pet... (+1 if you can be a bit disappointed no one wants to... +1 if you can really miss Bismark and that nice radio guy. +1 if you can cheer yourself up.)
+1 if you can consider why you can't just absorb the mercenaries and then sneak in...
+1 if you can be excited for going back home and playing some World of Reichcraft. (+1 if you can remember how Elizabeth will probably interrupt you and force you to exercise. +1 if you can think nice things about her. She's nice. Bringing you food and encouraging good behavior with buying you soda and chips... +1 if Claw can try to think if anything's different about her. +1 if he can wonder why the media loves her so much.)
Rolled 17 + 22 (1d20 + 22)

>Why get over the wall when you go through it? Hang a little sign on the front of the container that says "FOR IMMEDIATE DELIVERY TO SUGAR SILOS. CONTAINS ANTI-CAKING GEL." Then try to be as cuboid as possible and think gelatinous thoughts.
>"Oh man, tonight is gonna be sweet in more ways than one! I'm gonna eat so much sugar, if someone were to lick my gel form, they'd get a sugar high from it, it's gonna be so awesome!"
>"I suppose that Hans is already Ren's friend, but seriously, I want some friends too! Maybe I should take Ren's advice and see about making some friends that didn't come through absorption and coercion...but those guys make the best friends, like Bismark, and that radio guy. They were great, nice, knew just what I wanted to hear... Wait, wait, I have an idea! I bet I could start a DnD group by advertising one at that game shop! I'm sure to get more friends by running something that everyone loves!"
>"I suppose I can't just take the mercenaries with me and sneak in, because they'll tell their bosses, their bosses will tell Ren, and then Ren will find out what I was up to and he'll get mad at me. And if he's mad at me, he's gonna start looking at freaking Kittybeard as a replacement best friend! No, this must be done by me alone!"
>"And then, once this is done, and Hansodr is booming thanks to my economic genius, I can get back to my true passion, World of Reichcraft! Although Elizabeth will come just twelve hours into my gaming session like usual, and ask me to go run around the castle again...but she always brings me enough snacks to make it worth it. She's always so nice to me. She never used to be that nice though...I wonder if something happened? The media seems to love her too...does she also bring them soda and chips if they promise to be good?"
Rolled 13 (1d20)


Amazing Success!

With poor writing skills, you hang a sign on the front of the container, and wait out for the front... A guard goes up to the container, and takes out the radio.

"Uh... Sir? There's a... Container here."

Your fine hearing listens in closely, able to hear the radio...

"What?! Why the hell is there just a container?"

"Well... I dunno... Wait, there's some writing on it..."

He attempts to read your handwriting.

Rolling to see if he can actually read this.
He attempts to read it...

"I think it says... Anti-Coughing Gel?"


"Yeah... It's uh... I think it needs to be delivered in."

"A... Whatever. Manager's had a bit of a cough."

"Yeah... Wasn't he a half-dragon or something?"

"A red one. Almost burned down half of the stock, and that new fancy shit we have."

"What, the Coca Prima?"

"Yeah, that shit. You know, the glowy dark bottle."

"I mean, yeah, I heard about it. Isn't that meant for half-dragons or something?"

"Yep. It's in testing now, heard the carbonation was enough to melt teeth."

The werewolf whistles.

"Jesus, that's a lot... Anyways, you sending a lift?"

"Sure... Just wait by it, and once the lift comes escort it and wait for someone to sign off on the cargo."

"Got it... But anyways, heard about that huge revelation out on monday? From ViktorCorp or something."

"Oh, that?"

"Yeah. Heard it was supposed to be pretty big."

"Heh, yeah... Probably just a new phone or something."

"I bet... But dude, you hear about the Royal Family?"


"Apparently as we speak one of their kids blew up Luxembourg."


"Yeah... Apparently enslaved a bunch of politicians and stuff. That sort of thing."

"You know, I remember when there wasn't any dragons in power... Ever month it feels like some dragon out of no where is going to crush me and my family just for being human..."

"Hey, come on Johann. It's not that bad."

"...I shouldn't get into politics over the phone. But it feels bad... The media isn't even covering it all, you know? They're trying to hide the multi-cultural agenda, you know? Trying to replace us with half-dragons and dragons and shit..."

The werewolf sighs.

"That's conspiracy-level shit."

"Really? Come on... I see all these articles about "needing to accept werewolf refugees" from other countries... It's fucking ridiculous now."

The werewolf sighs.

"Yeah... It is really. It's getting harder to find a house or place to work at."

"You see? It's hurting ethnic Swedes..."

"Yeah... But come on, there's racism and stuff against us. You humans don't really have to deal with it."

"That's because you read the official shit. Heard the story about the human being dragged out of a college university and beaten by a group of hyped-up orc students? Or how a home was burned down by a bunch of elven teens for being human? Not to mention that some of us get forced out of our homes by racial supremacists! Read the underground newspaper. It actually tells the truth."

Huh. You hear a lift coming around to pick you up...

"Come on. I don't read that stuff..."

"Read it... Honestly, they're even promoting race mixing."

"Come on. I don't like it either..."

"Next thing you know, they'll try to have us breed with fucking Africans."

"Yeah. Stupid as shit, right? Hey, anyways, want to grab a drink after work?"

"Eh... I got a lot on my mind. But sure."

"Sweet. How's you and Julliet?"

"Oh, her?"

After a bit, the lift comes to pick you up, and you get put onto a truck... The truck drives slowly inside, and the werewolf guard from earlier talks on the radio while escorting you...

What do anons?

>Listen further in on the radio conversation... Though the truck is making it a bit hard to hear...
>Break out now!
>...Maybe try talking toOr just absorbing the werewolf. You can try to get a friend! (Will make Claw very happy, and if successful, will be an upgrade!)
>Listen further in on the radio conversation... Though the truck is making it a bit hard to hear...
Roll me a 1d20+5 anons.

+3 if you can muffle the truck's noise somehow.
+2 if you can think a bit about other nice things Elizabeth does and why. (+1 if you can think if Elizabeth is actually the only person you talk to regularly... +1 if you can miss Renexizious and talking to him a lot. +1 if you can miss when he wasn't mean to you just for being weird sometimes. +1 if you can be a bit angry at yourself about weirding people out so much.)
+2 if Claw can be envious of Pragius and Renexizious's height. He'd be so much cooler if he was bigger. (+1 if he can think why he's cool. +1 if it can turn a bit to self-hatred.)
+1 if he can try to think about the joys of just having something nice, like a ton of Coca Cola or sugar.)
+1 if he can think how nice it would be to have that werewolf as an actual friend. (+1 if he can briefly consider just breaking out and absorbing him while no one's looking.)

If everything's done, autosuccess.
Rolled 17 + 21 (1d20 + 21)

>Let a little of your slime ooze out of the bottom to try to reduce the rattling of the metal shipping container against the metal truck bed, thanks to your slime buoying up the shipping container. That should help quiet things a bit!
>"Elizabeth also tries to get me to play with her kids, which is kind of cool, they're always impressed by my super leet World of Riechcraft skills. You know, come to think of it, she's really the only person I see regularly, the kids always seem to revolve around who she can grab on the way down. Still, even as nice as talking to Elizabeth is, it's still not as nice as talking to Ren about Guy Stuff, and stuff. Back when he didn't call me an autist because I did weird stuff once in a while, back before I was some kind of Jello-Freak. Fuck, man, why do I have to be so Jello-Freaky? No one wants to be friends with a jelly wolf monster."
>"And then there's how much taller than me him and Kittybeard are. I'd be tall too, if I was bipedal instead of a quadra...quado...four legger! It'd be so cool to just LOOM over future friends and buddies like Ren does, or rear back and roar and chest thump like Pragius can. Actually, I don't NEED to be tall to be cool, it'd just be a nice bonus. I'm cool for being a gelatinous-bodied wolf freak. None of Ren's other friends are as sneaky or can stuff as much stuff inside them and pop it back out undigested as I can! ...Ugh, when I say it out loud, that sounds super gross..."
>"All I want is a little taste of the good things in life, like a metric ton of sugar, so I can be comfy and enjoy myself while I do some city planning to make my people's lives better. I gotta be in a good mood to have good ideas! It's common sense!"
>"Although it'd also be nice to have a fellow werewolf as a real friend, not just someone who says what I want to hear in the hopes they'll get out of me sooner...but a little Stockholm Syndrome never hurt the friendship process any, did it? Sure, it didn't work the last couple times, but maybe it will this time? If I get the chance, I should try, one more, for science! Ren always gets good results when he repeats things and yells For Science!"

You let some slime out of the container which reduces the rattling of the metal shipping container...

"So, anyways... Got anything after work?"

"Eh, not really... You?"

"Nope. Besides the bar, of course."

"Yeah... Hey, you have a TV, right?"


"Nice... Uh, what do you see on it? I don't have one."

"Oh, yeah... Well, I mean, there's nothing really interesting on. Besides the weird shit the royal family gets up to."

"...Really? I don't pay attention really."

"Well, I mean, there's the article how one of the cabinet members was found to be terrible at woman... You know, that multi-cultural guy. Apparently he's absolutely terrible at it."


"Yeah... You know. Apparently most women find him freaky, you know?"

The werewolf chuckles a bit.

"Yeah, I hear you. Guy looks fucking creepy. Reptile eyes, horns that could gore me..."

"Yeah... Not to mention that Inquistoress... Heard she had something going with the Emperor or something."

"Wait, her? Isn't she like, super catholic?"

"Yeah... Apparently hopelessly in love too. Heard a journalist found a letter she was trying to write to Renexizious about her feelings or something. Read it in the paper too."

"Really? He's gotten an Inquisitor to love him?"

"Yeah... Good with women, apparently. Heard he doesn't actually have any friends though, besides the multi-cultural guy and that guy... Hans I think."

"Yeah... But his wife though..."

You hear an audible whistle through the radio.

"I know, right? Heard a man turned from gay to straight just seeing her."

The werewolf laughs a bit as the truck rumbles and turns a corner, the executive offices not too far away.

"Yeah. What would you rate her?"

"Eh... I'd say a 9/10. Damned nice looking. But really a bit concerning in the ethics department... Ate a bunch of nobles and eats a bunch of people while pregnant..."

"Oh, yeah... Dude, I bought an apartment in Switzerland in case she gets pregnant again."

"Yeah... Heard about his uh... What are they called? Behemoths?"

"Yeah. Apparently those big monster types."

"I know, right? Creepy as fuck. You had that... Weird blob one... That lion guy..."

"I think one was called Claw and the other Pragius..."

"Yeah, I know right? Probably because the Emperor gets up to a bunch of human experimentation. Probably turned them from humans to whatever they are now."

"Dude, that's just non-sense. The emperor wouldn't do human experimentation."

"What happened to all those anti-fascists? Or the people in the prisons hauled away to his palace? There's a connection, damn it. Even the underground paper believes there is."

"Come on..."

"He's a war criminal too... I mean, honestly... I don't like the UN, but he's so questionable now. Heard that he hasn't gone to church in nearly a year too."

"...Eh... I don't really care much for it. I go every Sunday though."

"Doesn't everyone? He doesn't though... Really suspicious if you ask me. Most Yuan-Ti think it's questionable too."

The werewolf sighs.

"I should really be paying attention to the cargo."

"Come on, it's not like it's going to do anything... But really, you should read the underground newspaper. A bunch of people contribute to it. Even a General Governor was interviewed and answered their questions!"


"Yeah... Apparently a lot of them support his son. Charlemagne. Most are scared shitless of Renexizious and his wife... Most want someone who isn't going to eat them."

"That guy?"

"Yeah... War Hero type. Not really acknowledged by his father, and I heard both of them dislike each other heavily."

"Jeez... Weird relationship."

"Yep. Military supports the son too... Most people do honestly... A lot of the right wing thinks Renexizious is leaving them, and the left-wing despises him. And most of the Yuan-Ti are concerned about his public piety; that sort of thing."

"Well, I like Emperor Renexizious. He's a strong leader, even if he's... Really questionable."

"Yeah... Well, I never caught him trying to do good. He's a heavy slaver... Even enslaved the Netherlands! What happens if he turns on us? Or tries to enslave all of mankind or something?"

"...Erh... Why would he?"

"He got powerful that none of us could stop him?"

"Eh... That's just hyperbole."

"Whatever... I'll see you later, alright?"

"Yeah, see you."

The truck seems headed towards the offices... Opposite of the silos.

What do?

>Try to stop the truck and break out!
>Think of a way to threaten the driver to turn around or something...
>Try to subtly turn the truck around...
>...Take care of the werewolf guard.
>...Just bide your time.
>Try to subtly turn the truck around...
>...Take care of the werewolf guard.

Also, we should really, really, REALLY focus on our freaking PR instead of gallivanting about with our wives, it sounds like Charlemagne might be the focal point of a popular uprising, even if he doesn't want to be.
You decide to take care of the guard and subtly turn the truck around...

Roll me a 1d20+6 for taking care of the guard.

+3 if you can absorb him carefully and quietly. (+2 if you can terrify him. And if you don't want the truck driver to see, try to find a way to hide it.)
+2 if you can think how great friends you'll be...
+2 if you can scare him and be intimidating once you do absorb him, and mention what happens if he tries to call any other guards.
+1 if you can however try to make him comfortable.
+1 if you can mention how awesome it is to have another werewolf here, and try to get along with him by catering to why werewolves are awesome. (+1 if you can shill for why gelatinious ones are superior... Even if no one else really likes them too much.)
+1 if you can also think how you'll mention the werewolf will be inside of you forever, be friends forever, and how awesome it'll be.
+1 if you can think about how to turn this werewolf into your friend...

If everything is done, autosuccess.
To be fair, Elizabeth has amazing PR. Renexizious has terrible PR... He's terrifying to everyone, eats people, enslaves people, typically gets angry and does some evil shit, and has rarely done anything considered "Good"; and his public figure if anything revolves around breaking and destroying things and getting along with women. He's not very easy to relate with, and he tends to go from being conservative to liberal, and the conservatives are beginning to catch on that he's not really Catholic and wants bigger government, not to mention he's not really helping the humans out since they're his biggest population in Sweden currently, and is focused around minorities.
>implying we can turn this ship around before we hit the iceberg
The only thing keeping us in power is our own strength and the only way people would forgive would be if we stopped the world from being blown up or something along those lines.

Maybe we should look into marketing a human mutagen so people will drop the whole replace everyone with dragons and monsters critique

and we should really interrogate that guy we got from the 40k dimension
Rolled 4 + 20 (1d20 + 20)

>Slowly and quietly open up the window in the back of the truck cab with a slime tentacle. Reach the tentacle through, loop it around his chest several times, and then choke off his resultant scream by enveloping his head with the tip of your tentacle, the yoink him back through the window, into you, and push down on the brakes with another slime tentacle.
>"I bet I can get him to come around, he just needs to talk to a fellow wolf friend. Ren didn't turn me into this, I grew this way on my own, I can get him to see that. And once he accepts me as his friend, I can show him how great my life is, living in the palace!"
>"Look, uh...I'm kinda hungry, and I don't have an actual stomach in this form. But that's because I choose NOT to have one! But if you try and call for help or stuff, I won't have any choice but to dissolve you where you float."
>"But still, it's great to have another werewolf friend! Werewolves are awesome, and for the record, I was born this way, and grew this way by my own choice, not because Ren experimented on me. He never did that, he respects my space. Besides, how could you create awesome like gelatinous werewolves? This is the kind of thing that only happens once in a generation, even if everyone else is too jealous, or jelly, to admit that it's cool. Still though, being able to hunt and run down our own food, super strength, loyalty, warm, comfy and fluffy fur, who WOULDN'T want to be us?"
>"Besides, now you don't need to worry, we'll be friends forever, and since I live inside the palace, I can show you how Ren's actually a pretty cool guy. You can just chill inside of me, it'll be awesome, I'll be sure to add extra meat to my diet for you, because you won't want to leave, right?" <internal thoughts of 'don't oversell it, don't oversell it, that's why friends want to leave you...'>
>OK, so first things first, I'll eat all the sugar in the silos, then go home. Then, I'll invite this werewolf to help me plan how to make Hansodr perfect for werewolves, see if he likes my ideas, or has other ones of his own. Then, I'll see them implemented if they're any good, and he'll be so happy, he'll be all 'You, Claw, are my bestest friend ever, and I will never want to leave you!' and life will be great.
I don't think Claw can do slime tentacles yet.
Yeah, but we can at least try and drop the war criminal title, and see how that works. Try and call in a favor from Viktor, since he owes us one for eating all those politicians for him. And we should see about helping the humans out a bit more, like stopping their homes from being burnt to the ground, or dragged out into the street and beaten.

I agree with the revert-to-human mutagen part, as well as the only thing keeping us propped up right now being nothing else is capable of standing against us. But the minute any country gets an anti-dragon weapon, it's going to be leveled at us without pause.
Ok then, replace that with:

>Quietly open up the rear window with a slime claw, and inhale the driver with Claw's super vacuum breath ability.
I thought you wanted to absorb the guard? Not the driver of the truck carrying the box?
My bad, I thought they were one in the same. I want to get the guard.
You quietly open up the rear window with a slime claw... And inhale the driver with your vacuum breath...

You talk to the guard a little, and he tries to bang on the door, but you thicken your slime a bit and he finds it very hard to bang on the door all of a sudden...
You decide to subtly change the location your going to...

Roll me a 1d20+6 anons.

+3 if you can think of a way to subtly make the truck driver or truck itself head towards the silos.
+2 if you can terrify the driver a bit if you do decide to intimidate him to drive you there, or scare the werewolf inside of you a bit for trying to escape.
+2 if you can talk to the werewolf about wanting to be bigger then your friends. (+1 if you can mention the cool mutation you got which lets you grow on absorption. +1 if you can mention how awesome it would be if you were big, and how many people you could fit inside of you.)
+2 if you can try not to oversell staying inside you forever. (+1 if you can oversell it a lot.)
+1 if you can mention how fun it is being gelatinous. (+1 if you can be disappointed everyone else finds you weird.)
+1 if you can get the werewolf inside of you comfy and relaxed, and mention other fun things the two of you can do as friend while he's inside you! (+2 if you can think how fun it would be to have a ton of friends inside you forever. +1 if you can be a bit upset at not really having many friends, and try to hide your lack of friends and social skills.)

Autosuccess if everything happens.
hey OP how long do have until the slanishi girl gets turned back into a demonette and how close are we to the 5000 roman pantheon
followers mark
I'd say you have some time, I don't remember precisely.
*Not the driver, the guard.
fuck my shit anons.
Also, since I don't think I gave you much time, I'm extending the period you have to about six months.
there is a lot of stuff we have to deal with on top of that

>our werewolf son in the dnd universe
>checking out the 40 k universe (maybe we should ask khorne if he has power there or is there a alternate khorne in that dimension) Imagine having 2 khornes watching the blood bowl together or swearing at you for acting like a slanishi
Rolled 5 + 24 (1d20 + 24)

>Ooze both of Claw's front paws through the window, have one on the steering wheel and one on the pedals. Try to drive over towards the silos, one eye looking through the rear window to see where he's going, or at least not hit anything on the way over.
>Claw growls softly, and shakes his midsection a little, sending the driver and the guard bouncing around inside him a bit. "Hey, quit it with that whole 'escaping from me' thing, or I'll release the digestive enzymes. And you really don't want me to release the digestive enzymes."
>"Hey man, what's your name again? I didn't catch earlier. You don't think it's weird that I want to be bigger than my other friends, do you? I mean, I just got this cool mutation that makes me bigger the more stuff I absorb, and while I haven't really gotten a chance to put it through its paces yet, wouldn't it be awesome if I could stay the size of an apartment complex? And house as many people as an apartment complex inside me?"
>"I mean, not to belabor the obvious, but living inside me DOES have some nice perks. Like no landlord to need to pay rent to anymore, I'm always the perfect temperature, my slime is edible, since you've got a permanent shelter and source of food, you don't need to work anymore and can play games and sleep in and slack off all day long, I can supply you with all kinds of real food and drinks and snacks like Dragon Pounders and mead sodas, think about it, THINK ABOUT IT, sounds pretty sweet, huh?"
>"And that's not even getting started on how much fun it is to just be able to ooze around everywhere, slip under locked doors, envelop things in my slime, hell, kids even love to bounce on it, I'm so ridiculously bouncy, you wouldn't believe it. I mean, everyone else finds it weird, and they're not exactly shy about expressing it with their mean, nasty words, but still! You think it's at least...interesting, right?"
>"Here, let me just uh...pull you up a nice gel bed, and a bottle of mead soda, I know I've still got at least one bottle in here somewhere...there we go, um...anything else I can get you? Look, I just want to be your friend, so I've come up with some activities we can do together! Like, I'm trying to revitalize Hansodr, and I've got some good ideas, but I also wanna hear your ideas, and see what the common werewolf thinks would be a good boost for their town. Friend project, you know? I...I don't really have as many friends as I would love to have, so I wanna take this a little slower than I normally do. I've...I've been hurt before, so let's just try and be natural about this, ok?"
Aw crap, was already typing up my response and didn't see this until I posted it. Just...assume that Claw has the driver stuck off to one side in a gel cocoon or something, or stuffed him in the leg room area of the passenger side and sealed it over with a layer of gel so he can try to drive the truck himself.
Allowing samefagging if you can come up with a way to terrify the driver and absorb him. Along with think how awesome it would be to be even bigger, and oversell being inside you forever even more, along with mentioning how painful being digested really is and how you totally don't have any qualms about doing it, even if you've never done it before to a person.
Rolled 13 + 24 (1d20 + 24)

>Use Claw's paw to swat him against the window like a bug, and while he's stunned from the impact, absorb him up through our paw/arm.
>"So, the best part is, if I'm bigger, than that means even more friends can come live inside me! And then Pragius will stop being a dick and calling me a pup, because then I'll be bigger than him! Not to say that that's the only reason I want a bunch of people to live in me forever, mind you, I just heard the adage of 'keep your friends close' one day and decided it was words to live by, so I just really want to keep all my friends as close to me as possible, and how much closer can they get than where they are right now?"
>"Just uh...just be good, and wait until I'm done here, and then we go on a city-planning spree. If you don't, then I'll have to digest you as both punishment, and because I'm really freaking hungry. I've never had to do it to one of my own friends, or even to a werewolf, but it it's not like it would be the first time I've digested something inside of me. I even almost did it to a bunch of vampire flunkie guards, but because they screamed so politely, I stopped once their clothes were gone, just so they would know the score."
Your at a success anon. If you want to get an even greater success, try to think of a way to control the vehicle better and how to get even more comfy in your container. It's kind of small after all. Also, if Claw can boast a bit more about his size growing mutation and how cool it is. And maybe think about when the next time he'll be able to absorb plenty of things in a raid or two...
>Envelop the wheel completely in your slimy paw, so you just need to twist your arm to turn the wheel one way or another. Take pressure off of the gas pedal, and keep one clawtip hovering over the brake pedal, and just let the natural momentum of the engine pull the truck along. Going slower gives you more control and more time to react to something unexpected.
>Expand out downwards, so that you push the shipping container off of you and are able to slide out from underneath it, bringing your shiny new werewolf friend safely with you. Nudge the container up against the side of the truck, and stretch out. Much more comfy!
>"So, what's the biggest thing you've ever been in? One of those sugar silos? Well, I bet you that I can empty that entire silo, AND the one next to it, and STILL have room to add more friends! It's all in the growth mutation, my friend, otherwise I would not be able to get away with such gluttony. But its soooo worth it. Like, this is so awesome for raiding, you can't even imagine. The next time I see an enemy tank, I'm so going to absorb it and see if I can fire the shells out of my mouth, how badass would that be? And maybe a convoy, then I'll have lots of new friends AND a big place to keep them all in."
Great Success!

You take care of the driver and envelop the wheel, driving carefully up to the silo... After a bit you push the container out off you, and slide out from under it, and leave the driver attached to the truck in a large cube of slime...

Your new werewolf friend is highly confused,unsure of who you are, wanting to go home, and whining about how "his friends will help him get out" and how "this is illegal you know".

Currently, there are five silos.

You prepare to nom the silo... There's a few patrolling guards though, so you'll have to be quiet...

Roll me a 1d20+7 to see if you can think of a way to nom it silently.

+4 for ideas on nomming an entire silo silently... (+2 if you can take care of nearby guards!)
+2 if you can introduce yourself to your friend, tell him your name, and tell him how his friends won't be able to save him, and why that's good!
+1 if you can mention how your his new home. Forever. (+1 if there can be a big emphasis on forever.)
+1 if you can calm him down, and boast about being able to eat this entire silo and in fact, grow from it. +1 if you can be disappointed in not nomming in your life.
Also, a +1 if you can think more nice things about Elizabeth. (+1 if you can think why everyone likes her. Probably because of her personality. +1 if you can think if girls would be impressed by a giant gelatinious wolf monster. +1 if you can think about how they'd be impressed by a GIANT gelatinious wolf monster. Emphasis on giant. And Gelatinious. And did you mention forever inside you? +1 if you can complain about your concubines to your werewolf friend and mention how they should be happy you aren't digesting them right now... +1 if Claw can be upset at them not liking being inside him all the time and why they were shit-tier girlfriends anyways...)

Autosuccess if everything's done.
Rolled 5 + 18 (1d20 + 18)

>Give the guards a gentle love-whap with your gelatinous paw, attaching them to the side of a silo and encasing them in slime. And giving them one hell of a headache, from all the reverberations from impacting on what's essentially a massive metal tube, and the slime just amplifying it. They won't even know what hit them!
>Use acid to melt a beachball-ish sized hole in the side of the silo, and then suck out all of the sugar with vacuum breath! Sure, it's a bit of the lazy way out, but it's fast and it works, and the sooner you finish with the sugar, the sooner you can take your new friend home and play an awesome new game: City Planning! Maybe THAT'S what you should add to World of Reichcraft?
>"So...um...if you couldn't already tell, my name is Claw, I'm one of Ren's behemoth friends you were talking about earlier. I know you think your friends might be able to help you out here, but listen, you don't want to leave. Just like classic World of Reichcraft realms, you think you do, but you don't. Just think of all of the quality of life improvements you'll have, like free room, food, entertainment, and you can go to the bathroom anywhere you want!"
>"You're going to love your new FOREVER home, it's quaint, charming, and your FOREVER neighbor is always there to lend a helpful paw!"
>"Well, listen, here. What can I, your new friend Claw, do for you, to make your life a little easier? Just name it, besides letting you go, and I'll do it for you, just to prove that I'm serious about making this friendship work. I swear to you, that just like how I'm going to grow from nomming this whole silo full of sugar, I'm also going to grow, as a person, from this friendship, and I want your help in it."
Give me a few more minutes to add in the bit with Liz, please.
(I'm not no-life spamming refresh, I swear)
>"And I can't wait to introduce you to Her Ladyship, Queen Elizabeth. She's just so...nice! Like, if you were having a sad day, she'd be there with cookies, a warm blanket and a bedtime story and read to you until you felt better again. Everyone just loves her."
>"Probably because she acts like everyone's favorite Mom. Sometimes stern, but only because it's better for you in the long run. It's a wonderful personality type, who wouldn't want a second, doting mom looking over them forever?"
>"But still, you can't deny that girls would be more impressed by a gelatinous wolf monster more than they would be by their mom. No, wait, a GIANT gelatinous wolf monster would be more impressive. Filled with...who had absorbed a beach house, and sand, and a hot tub, and a whole bunch of beer and snacks and was having Spring Break inside him, only it would be like Spring Break ALL THE TIME! Because seriously, who would ever want to leave "Spring Break Forever!"?"
>"Besides, at least they wouldn't be as bitchy and complainy as my old concubines. They were always so mean to me, complaining about this, that, the other thing! Getting a little slime on the sofa, or never leaving the bedroom because I didn't want to get yelled at for sliming the sofa. They should be lucky I didn't digest them, stupid...stupids, hated being inside me, hated that I tried to put a gelatinous roof over their heads, gelatinous food in their stomachs, gelatinous clothes on their backs...they were shit tier girlfriends, with shit taste in men, and ungrateful as well! But you're not like that at all, right?"
I swear I'm not spamming refresh either anon. I swear I'm not up at six in the eorning.

You talk a bit to the werewolf, who's slightly concerned about being inside you and claims he has something called "rights" and that if you could kindly let him go, you could be "friends"... Grr... He's just trying to get out of you like all the others...

You use some acid to melt a small hole in three of the silos, and use your powerful breath to suck in all the sugar...

You froth a bit at the mouth, and you feel extremely hyper... There's four silos left though...

You feel like bouncing up and down, but you know you can be even MORE hyper. You gnaw slightly at the silo itself...

You currently would experience a large economic and industrial boom, alongside a small increase in quality of life.

What do?

>Take care of the rest of the silos and head home.
>Just head home.
>...Take care of the rest of the silos and sneak into the warehouse...
>Try to sneak out and head down to the port for the cargo ships...
Well then. This shall be our little secret about not spamming refresh and not being up at 6 am, when it should really be 5 am, because fuck daylight savings.

>Take care of the rest of the silos and head home.
>Write-In: "Ok, tell you what? You help me out by acting as a sounding board for ideas for Hansodr, and I'll let you out of me, and we can see if that lets our friendship prosper? But don't worry, if you change your mind, you can always hop back inside!"
You absorb the rest the silos...

Roll me a 1d20+7 to get into the rest of them!

+3 if you can think of a different way in!
+2 if you can be very, very hyper.
+1 if you can hyper up getting bigger from this! (+1 if you can hype up growing bigger and bigger in the future. +1 if you can hype up being unstoppably huge. +1 if if you can be extremely hyper while talking.)
+1 if you can be somewhat angry he wants to get out of you. (+1 if you can dismiss his argument of having "rights".)
+1 if you can be super hyper about declaring Elizabeth to be awesome.
+1 if you can hyperly talk about how cool Renexizious is and how shitty Pragius is.
+2 if you can mention what a cute girlfriend would be like and the perfect fit for you.)
+2 if you can try to self-justify the idea of letting him out. (+1 if you can think about how you could come up with excuses for him to sleep with you, for you to absorb him a lot... For him to be inside you, that sort of thing... +1 if you can think how he'll never spend a waking moment without you. +1 if you can mention how your completely and utterly straight, and how this isn't weird at all.)
+2 if you can deal minor property damage from your hyperactive self.

Autosuccess if everything happens.
>I'm huge now, right? I'm gonna try and do what I've seen Ren do, which is RIP OFF that top, and CHUG IT LIKE A BEER CAN! Or like a MEAD SODA CAN!
>Literally just bounce from one silo to the other. Claw vibrates along the ground instead of walking as he moves, causing small localized tremors due to his GIANT size. All the quick, fast paced talking and rapid movement causes small, foamy bubbles to form inside his gel body, causing him to go from translucent to opaque.
>"Dude, how big do you think I'll get from THIS silo huh? Or that one over there! Man now I need a barrel of yeast, then I'll grow grow grow some more moremoremore! I bet if I keep eating at this rate, there's no ceiling I can hit on my growth! Holy fuck what if I got as big as your factory? No, as big as a HANSODR FACTORY! Omgomgomgomgomgomg can you IMAGINE what would happen!?"
>"Hey, wait-wait-wait a minute, why do you want out anyway? You're inside me, you have no rights, you only have the rights that I give you! I beat you, and absorbed you, so I'm in charge now!"
>"Besides if you leave now, you won't meet Queen Elizabeth, and she's SO AWESOME! She's like, my bestest friend, after Ren of course, and she's so nice, she brings me snacks and sodas and we talk all the time, she just wants me to make new friends, and she's sure to be happy if I show her a new friend that I've made and then she'll reward us with super-happy-awesome-friendship swag!"
>"Oh man you've never met Ren either! You gotta meet him, he's super-cool super-awesome I don't care what your secret newspaper says about him he's always been there for me even when no one else was or would be or wanted to and you just gotta meet him to see that he's not such a bad guy and it's gonna be funfunfunfun for both of us he'll be so glad I made a new friend! But Pragius can suck a dick, he's off in Vietnam sleeping on top of those filthy commies, no doubt. Unlike me, who's trying to make Hansodr a great place again."
>"Hey we should also get girlfriends! That'd be a great bonding activity. What's your type? I want one that's cute, with coppery red hair and cute dimples and likes being inside me and likes DnD and likes computer games and likes cooking and doesn't mind listening to me talk and vent and helps me work on stuff and do you know anyone like that because if you do I'd really love to meet them do you think you could set us up on a date maybe?"

>"Uh, I've thought it over and look, maybe my previous comment about you only having the rights I give you was a little out of line. So far I've tried to keep all my friends inside me and they all end up running away so with you I'll try something different where you'll live with me in my room at the palace but I'll need to get slowly used to the idea of you not being inside me all the time so we'll start with free time during the day and I'll keep you inside me at night like a teddy bear until I feel comfortable enough to not need you to sleep at night. But don't ever ever ever EVER think you'll ever be lonely again, because I'll always be there, and all the new friends I make will always be there, and it'll be super-fun-all-the-time-wheeee! Besides, I'm totally 100% not gay and totally straight, and wanting you inside me isn't because I think you're a hot hunk of wolf meat, it's because I feel better the more things I have inside my body AND IT'S NOT WEIRD AT ALL!"
>In addition to small localized tremors from Claw's constant, massive trembling from his sugar high, the controls for the silos suffer some damage from all the shaking, and he leaves massive potholes in the roads near the silo from the ground buckling in response to his trembles.
Rolled 6 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

You gave us 5 months to convert 5 thousand people

We converted people as a action around 3 times so far.
I had some ideas for social reforms for our kobolds if anons are interested.
Rolled 3 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

Seems I was a tad bit slow
You should know I've had multiple ideas on how to increase our PR right?
It isn't even that hard for us to do as we are now.
You rip off the top of the sugar silo, climb up the silo, and vacuum breath it down... At this point, your hyperactive self cannot be contained, as you start bouncing, with your tail wagging like an absolute madman. The foam coming out of your mouth is so sugary that you decide to reabsorb and digest it just for even more... Not to mention you notice your body turning a bit crystalline like a sugar crystal... You also note your very thirsty from nomming the silos...

Due to all the delicious silo-eating, you now have grown by yet another two stories...

The wolf guy is jiggled up and down in the now bouncing Claw, and he whines a bit and mentions how he just wants to go home... He seems to have slightly given up resisting... You have also noted the formation of gas inside you and bubbles from all the jiggling and eating and drinking...

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see if Claw's insane amount of energy has attracted the attention of the guards.

+3 if Claw can try to find a way to move silently even while insanely energetic and foaming at the mouth.
+2 if Claw can try to silently dispose of the gas or contain it. Or just weaponize it for the future. (+1 if he can hype up his internal gas and how good it is or something.)
+2 if Claw can consider how to vibrate, and bounce without anyone seeing him.
+1 if Claw can be insanely hyper and ultra-hype up his growth from nomming silos.(+1 if he can compare himself to the size of a human and think how awesome they'd think he is from absorbing everything.)
+1 if Claw can comment on the taste of his own slime-crystal bubbles. And encourage the werewolf to taste a bit.
+1 if he can continue being weird and have a questionable sexuality.
+1 if Claw can hype up how awesome Hansodr is.
+1 if Claw can make the werewolf ULTRA comfy.

If everything happens, it'll be an autosuccess.

Claw currently is also going to get an amazing success and economic boost, along with a moderate increase in life quality.
Rolled 12 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

Rolled 4 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

Focus the gas in a bubble near our moth so we can use it for a compressed air blast.

Also take some of the air and place it near our skin to help keep us quiet.
And continue reabsorbing our foam.
I'd say this could pass as a success if you can do more of the bonuses.
>"Huh. These things taste like soda. Hey werewolf guy. Taste it Taste it Taste it Taste it Taste it! C'mon eat me!"

We should just undulate our skin without bouncing around.
No need to actually jump around like a fool.
Close anon. Just do two more +1 bonuses and you should be good.

Claw's hyper enough that his body's vibrating from the energy he has. It'd be rather hard to stop bouncing, unless you can come up with a way for him to keep his paws on the ground.
>"Hansodr is going to be fucking amazing when I'm done with it. Better infrastructure, Safer work places, Park I'm giving the entire places the works. It's gonna be coolest part of this empire when I'm done with it. Ya know I think you should visit it with me you'd be amazed at how cool it'll be. Maybe we can check out the new park? Oh we should get some sugar if we do head down there, I love sugar, Ren says I shouldn't touch it when I can but I can handle it. He says I have I problem. I don't have any problem. I'm perfectly fine. Just look at me I am the picture of health. Honestly I think he worries too much. Do you think I have a problem? Probably not because I'm cool. You think I'm cool right? I think I'm cool. Yeah I'm cool."
You don't think anyone has noticed the bouncing giant werewolf yet, and you consider what to do...

Nomming the Warehouse and the Cargo Ship will grant anons a Critical Success when it comes to making Hansodr great.
Also, since I think it's extremely fitting with Claw's character, a upgrade.

>Try to head home...
>...Try to eat some normal food and dilute the pure sugar concentration you have inside you. Maybe try to sneak out to a grocery store or something. (Will make Claw less hyper from diluting the sugar!)
>Sneak into that warehouse! Soda! SODA!
>Cargo ship! The cargo ship has ton of tasty things on it! You desire more!!!
How big of an increase to our income will a crit do?>...Try to eat some normal food and dilute the pure sugar concentration you have inside you. Maybe try to sneak out to a grocery store or something. (Will make Claw less hyper from diluting the sugar!)
Well, it'd make the industry in Hansodr extremely effective and efficient... So probably around +20$ Million in income and cheaper soldiers and equipment for them.

You decide to maybe sneak out to a grocery store...

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see if you can sneak your way out...

+3 if you can try to fit yourself comfortably inside the metal container, even if you've grown a bit.
+2 if you can try to find a way to get over the walls without leaving a scent or anything...
+1 if Claw can think about how delicious food is and how many things he wants to absorb at the grocer... (+1 if he can try to offer food to him, and mention how it's probably covered in delicious slime and how that makes it even better. +1 if you can mention the benefits of an all-slime diet.)
+1 if you can be ultra hyper and hype up nomming things. (+1 if you can hype up growing from nomming things even more.)

Autosuccess if everything happens.
>+20 million
Man we really need to get to work redesigning all our places to make them more efficient.

Tighten the boundary of our skin to pack our slime tighter together.
Thicken the cohesion of our skin so we don't leave anymore slime.

Absorb as many things as we can ofc.
They have meat, fish, dairy, eggs, poultry, chips, bread, SUGAR, chips and everything.

>Hey guy do you want to eat things with me? You should it something. It has additives the best in fact SUGARY SLIME. It's fast to eat and easy to digest not to mention healthy and delicious. Honestly I am being too nice not just eating everything for myself. Nomming things is too fun. That feeling when you absorb and digest things is just amazing. Plus I can GROW when I do it. Do you know how awesome that is. I get bigger by eating things. I get to do both of my most favorite things at once. Are you jealous? I understand if you are. It's too cool to be honest.

Don't we also get stat boosts when we grow in size?
Haven't gotten enough size to upgrade a stat yet temporarily. Typically every ten stories...

You tighten your skin and thicken it, and climb over the wall... Now of course, you need to sneak through the city streets...

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see if you can sneak through the city to a nearby grocery store!

+3 if you can find a way to sneak through the back-alleys without no one noticing, try to climb up to the roofs and move across that way without somehow attracting attention, or try to squeeze through the sewers and maybe get stuck...
+3 if Claw can think of random things he can absorb for even more size. And taste. (+1 if he can hype it up.)
+2 if Claw can be disappointed this isn't an enemy city and that he can't absorb everything.
+1 if Claw can talk to his werewolf friend. (+1 if he can have a questionable sexuality. +1 if there's a lot of mentions of being "forever inside him" and strange.)
+1 if Claw can get his werewolf friend even more comfy.
+2 if he can be ultra-hyper while doing all of this.
+1 if he can find a way to silently talk to his werewolf friend.

If everything's done, it'll be an autosuccess.
If everything's done amazingly and with high quality; along with thinking how nice it would be if his friends were also gelatinous, and think how awesome it would be to be even bigger and envy Renexizious for his size, it'll be a critical autosuccess in which he'll find a way to enter the grocery store subtly..
Rolled 12 + 16 (1d20 + 16)

We could move through the back alley and since we have no bones whatsoever shift our legs so we can walk on the walls.

Basically our left and right legs would be 180 degrees and we'd use that to move above street level in the alleyway

Absorb dumpsters.
Cardboard boxes.
>Don't you think it's interesting how I can more or less digest anything and it'll be fine? That's fucking amazing. I can eat everything. Well. I could if this was an enemy city. Damnit.
I will not have claw sperg out again.
Fuck that shit.

Open up a air tube between our mouth and our werewolf friend.
Should let us talk to him safely.
Allowing for higher success if anons can try to hype it up even more, and think about trying to get the werewolf friend more comfortable.
>"Think about that for a second. I can eat literally anything. I'll never starve again! Could you imagine if everyone could do that? It would make everything so much easier. Not to mention more interesting."

We could give him a bubble.
Bubbles are always nice.
With tasty sugar crystals.
Amazing Success!

You sneak through the back alleys, clearing up trash and garbage via absorption. Yay for helping the environment!

You eventually sneak towards what seems to be a grocery store, and see that there seems to be two entrances... The front door, and what seems to be a truck offloading area, where there seems to be a few workers picking up crates to move them inside... The werewolf inside of you tries to claw out to escape after a bit, whining...

You feel slightly bad for him. Only a little though... Not to mention he pops the bubble you gave him, sending slime over the adjacent wall which you suck up.

What do anons?

>Try to go in through the front way?
>...Try to go in through the cargo offloading area...
>...Try to cram yourself through ventilation. (Will be very hard, and will make you very obvious to anyone outside of the building since your entire body can't fit inside while you attempt to cram through... Unless you can think of a way to hide your lower body as you try to climb through, or think of way to force your body inside the building.)
>...Sewers? (Similar problem above.)
>Maybe there's a grocery truck going here you can sneak into...
>...Try to go in through the cargo offloading area...
You circle around, and you see a chain link fence surrounding the back... It might be a bit hard to move... Not to mention seven guys offloading cargo... There's tons of boxes though, but your huge, taking up an entire alley, slightly suspended above the ground... Not to mention being SUPER HYPER and having foam coming out of your mouth...

Roll me a 1d20+7 to sneak in anons.

+3 if you can think how to get through the fence without being noticed!
+3 if you can think how to be much smaller and less noticeable! Your taller then the grocery store by a little bit!
+2 if you can think about either scaring off the guards and truck driver or just how to absorb them if they notice you.
+1 if you can think about tasty food inside the grocery...
+1 if you can remember how Elizabeth doesn't like you stealing from places and if you should leave money or not... (+1 if you can think how to actually get some money since you aren't carrying any on you right now.)
+1 if you can punish the werewolf for bursting a bubble and trying to escape, or just be really sad.

If everything's done, autosuccess.
Rolled 16 + 19 (1d20 + 19)

Slowly phase part of us through the chain fence then digest it

Expel some slime for less mass.

Expel that slime at the workers to stop them then vacuum breath them.

Absorb them then take their money.
so we can leave it so we don't have to steal

Meats, Cheeses, Bread, (Chocolate) Milk, Soda pop. All the nice things.

Reach inside ourself and smack that wolfman.
Then give him a lecture on proper behavior inside of us.
Are you sure you want to absorb Swedish citizens? Unless you intend to permanently take them or "take care of them" that might hurt your PR a bit since people know who Claw is kind of now. Not to mention there's a truck driver in a truck you have to take care of.

Also, if you expel slime then you'll lose progress to your next temporary stat upgrade... And finally, you kind of have to remember why Elizabeth doesn't like you stealing things.
Well you see.
Unlike Ren liz is way more moralistic. And while that's really nice alot of the time it can impede us other times.

And losing slime is fine.
Being bigger makes stealth harder and the temp upgrade is literally +1 for every 10 stories.

Fine we can just absorb them and shake them down for cash.

The werewolf too
Mind if I ask what you'll do with the workers though? Because leaving them behind might cause a scandal.
Kidnapping them of course.
Ren can use them for his lab stuff.
I should probably be concerned that you have little to no qualms for kidnapping Swedish citizens and experimenting on them just because otherwise it would be bad PR. That's the kind of thing that makes people think your shady as fuck.
>Playing as an amoral Right wing nazi dragon that regularly allows himself to get possessed by a god of rage and bloodshed.
Yeah, I'm just pointing this out a little.


Amazing Success!

You phase through the fence and absorb it, but not before depositing a large mass of slime in the alleyway, blocking it off... It slowly beings to melt away while you decide to vacuum breath up all the workers and rip the door off a truck and absorb the truck driver, and you begin to try and cram into the loading door... Which is quite smaller then you...

A lot of the workers are highly confused and are stretching you out a bit, making it hard to fit into the loading door... The big lorry blocking the way doesn't help either...

Roll me a 1d20+6 to try and cram yourself inside.

+3 if you can find a way to take care of the truck.
+2 if you can think how to fit through a loading door that's 1/3rd of your size...
+2 if you can punish the workers for trying to get out of you. (+1 if you can be nice to the werewolf friend for not trying to escape!)
+1 if you can explain the situation to the workers.
+1 if you can mention their fate with you.
+1 if you can also find a way to get inside the water-proof and air-proof wooden crates full of food...
Rolled 5 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

Kind of annoying though.
I know it's shady but Ren is consistently more shady than I could ever be.

We could slowly absorb the truck?
We could gain access to the food by engulfing then absorbing it as well.
Oh, also autosuccess if everything is done.

...If you try to absorb the truck you'd have to figure out how to squish it down so you can cram it indoors with you. It'd digest very slowly too, since it's a big metal truck.
Start constricting ourselves again to start crushing the truck down.

And start seeping into as many cracks in the thing as we can.
Reaching more surface area means we can digest it faster.
Allowing samefagging if you can think of a way to fit through the door and punish the workers, and mention their fate.
Rolled 10 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

If we force the workers to behave by giving them some good smacks it should help us fit.

>I'm sorry but I am taking you all with me to a scientist so he can use you as test subjects for his experiments.

and honestly we don't even need to experiment.
Ren can just work on giving them a mind wipe then release them.
Rolled 18 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

After that we can just lock them in a stench bubble.

Also leaving behind more slime might help along with filling in the cars empty spaces.

Good Success!

You smack the workers around a bit, and absorb and constrict the truck, trying to get as much of you inside as possible as you digest it...

You leave more of your slime behind, and feel smaller, and cram in through the moderate-sized loading door... You squeeze through into a storage area, and find some delicious boxes you also absorb, before seeing the large supermarket halls, full of unsuspecting consumers and their families...
Of course, there's a few ways you can do this...

You currently have stolen 450$ worth of money from everyone inside of you.

What do anons?

>Remember Elizabeth's words... You don't have to steal... Just have to pay for a bunch of food... (You'll barely get anything with the amount of money you have.)
>You need more money... Target the customers some more... Or think of another thing.
>Try to buy some things... And maybe shoplift a little bit.
>...Sneakily try to absorb everything...
>Try to buy some things... And maybe shoplift a little bit.
Roll me a 1d20+5 to shoplift.

+3 if you can try to act... Normalish. Normal. Yeah. As normal as a giant gelatinious wolf can be.
+2 if you can think about how to get as much slime everywhere as possible. (+1 if you can cover the entire store in it.)
+2 if you can try to avoid absorbing other customers somehow.
+2 if you can think about how to shoplift EVERYTHING. (+1 if you can hide it somehow and somehow hide the people inside you.)
+1 if you can steal from shopping carts.
+1 if you can be socially awkward on trying to buy all this stuff.

If everything's done it'll be an autosuccess.
Whistle innocuously as we move down the isles.
Exoanding and shifting our slime to cover as much of the store us possible.

Use moving between isles as a excuse to stretch above them and cover the roof and shelves in slime.

Bump into shoppers with carts.
When we bump though phase through the the cart and take all the stuff.
Slime up the shoppers a bit.
and if they get to uppity mutter autistic shit about 360ing Xboxes.

When we go to buy the stuff pick a female cashier and ask her for her picture.
Then say she smells nice.

Trap the people and items in a bubble with a thicker wall than normal.
Depending on the color of our slime they should stay hidden.
Eh. A little more indepth with more covering in slime, I guess, and the shoppers would notice you stealing from them. Try to be more subtle.
Rolled 7 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

Ya know after this I think we should head back.

>A giant jello wolf.
Just wait till they turn their backs and take everything in their carts
...Why would they turn their back to you? A giant jello wolf?
Also, I'm going to take a nap for a bit anons.
Rolled 12 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

Since I can't get some sleep I'll give an update.

You whistle innocuously as you move down the isles, expanding and shifting and shedding and leaving slime everywhere, bumping into shoppers, getting slime everywhere, and stealing as much as you can... You even buy some stuff to be nice, and ask for a picture from a cute cashier. You briefly consider absorbing her because she smells nice... But you remember that Elizabeth told you that "women don't like being absorbed" and that "you should take them out on a date, give them some flowers", and to "just to talk from the heart about your feelings".

You awkwardly stutter and prepare to buy things from the cashier who seems a bit confused about you leaving slime everywhere.

Rolling to see if Claw drops any spaghetti.
9 (the +3 was supposed to be a -3)

You stutter awkwardly.

"I-I'll uh... C-can I get your n-n-n-uuumber?"

You say, pressing into your slime, letting some bubbles out. She's a bit disturbed.


"I-I mean, your uh... Your a really..."

You look around nervously, your slimy body having some moisture drip from it to the already slime-covered floor.

"I-I uh... Y-y-y... Yo-..."

You can barely speak english.

"C-can I have this in a bag?" You mutter out, nervously.


"T-to go."

She seems a bit confused.

"To go?"

You blush slightly, realizing that most people eat their food outside of the grocery store.

"...Erh, it's about... Two-hundred dollars."

"O-oh. Yeah..."

You spit out some foul-smelling, slimy Swedish marks.

"Have a... Good day?"

"Y-y-you t-too." You stutter out, nearly spilling the spaghetti you absorbed from earlier.

You absorb the food and truck and feel most of your body become good old slimy chunks... Though you do double around and re-absorb all that slime you left behind... It's insanely sugary, but luckily your mouth isn't foaming anymore...

You realize the cargo dock is literally a block away from here, and that you could just go do it... Though you are roughly twenty stories now...

Choose a stat to upgrade anons.

Claw's Stats

Body: 9 (+8) (+3 from ANGER)
Intelligence: 2 (+1)
Agility: 13 (+12)
Wisdom: 3 (+2)
Charisma: 2 (+1)
Insight: 1 (+0)

>Growth. (Increase Claw's size by one story permanently. His permanent size is currently ten, and if he gets to 20 he gets a free slime mutation and a +2 to Strength, and no penalty to Dex.)
>Upgrade Dexterity.
>Upgrade Strength
>Upgrade Charisma
>Upgrade Intelligence.
>Upgrade Wisdom.
>Get a Temporary Slime Mutation.

By the way, whenever Claw hits the milestone of getting 10, this is what he gets at hitting 10 stories in one go permanently.

Basically, if he gets 10 stories again another day, he gets the upgrade you choose right now until he gets smaller or the day goes by.
>Get a Temporary Slime Mutation.
Choose one anon.

>Thick Slime. (Bullets find it hard to hit you, and everything inside of you finds it much harder to attempt to escape, and your strength is increased by +1, and your weight is doubled and you are more dense.)
>Slimy Terrain. (Making the ground slimy gives you a +1 to all Dex and Strength rolls, and in addition lets you move faster and makes enemies who step in it unable to move; along with making them focused on trying to get out rather than attack you. In addition, this allows you to indirectly control objects if you are touching the slime and the slime is connected to another object, like a valve or button.)
>Stick Slime. (Your slime is sticky enough where you can stick on almost everything, allowing you to climb unopposed, along with being able to shoot small tentacles of sticky slime to pull things towards you. You also become a bit more loose and can stretch out even further.)
>Gelatinious Fur. (You sprout fur which is technically gelatinous... And double as small slimy extensions that can spike a small distance away, and you arguably become a little less weird. This gives you a +2 to Charisma, and your body becomes able to shoot small spikes of slime to up to 25ft away.)
>Stick Slime. (Your slime is sticky enough where you can stick on almost everything, allowing you to climb unopposed, along with being able to shoot small tentacles of sticky slime to pull things towards you. You also become a bit more loose and can stretch out even further.)
I'm going to wait for a second vote.
If no one responds in the next thirty minutes, I'm going to go along with the sticky slime.
You feel your body become sticky with your nervous sweat, and you just can't help but sticking everywhere... It seems like when you get nervous you get even more sticky... Hell, even some of the restaurant tiles gets absorbed due to your stickiness...

You have two places left to raid... Or just head home...

>Raid the cargo ships!
>Raid the warehouse!
>Head home... You've had enough. (Have an amazing success from all the sugar you've absorbed!
cargo ships
You decide to go after the cargo ships...

You of course, carefully take the alley-ways and begin to sneak to the docks...

You see a large cargo ship with the large Coca Cola brand emblazoned on the side of it...

You dip a toe in the water... And are terrified to notice that the water dissolves your toe... It seems you tend to dissipate in large bodies of water, which terrifies you.
God, and you already didn't like water...

So now you can't swim... (But at least you don't have to take baths ever again!)

What to do?


>...Try to find a way to swim in the water? (RISKY AS HELL)
>Try to climb up a building and jump onto the ship...
>...Try to sneak into the ship, though there's only one real entrance...
>...Try to stretch yourself by sticking onto something or wrapping around something, and try to stretch towards the ship... Maybe you can reach it?
Final bump tonight.
I suppose all anons, even lurker-anon is dead.
>...Try to sneak into the ship, though there's only one real entrance...
By the way anons, I was a bit tired so I came up with an idea of making a discord server. Anyone think this is a good/bad idea?

You decide to sneak into the ship... Which could be sort of hard... There's a small bridge full of workers going across and over it, and a few armed mercenaries guarding it... Not many though... The ship is about 20ft away from the dock, and a crane seems to be used to get all the cargo onto trucks...

Roll me a 1d20+4 (-2 from all the attention on that one entrance!) to sneak in!

+3 if you can try to find a way to stay hidden while trying to get onto the ship!
+2 if Claw can worry about the water and falling into it.
+2 if Claw can be a bit disappointed he didn't absorb that woman from earlier. She was nice.
+1 if Claw can be hyped about hitting twenty stories.
+1 if Claw can try to self-justify shoplifting. Elizabeth would be mad...
+1 if Claw can be a bit angry at the workers inside of him for wanting to escape. (+1 if he can threaten them.

If everything is done, autosuccess.
Rolled 11 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

I'd say go for it and see what happens.

>"Hm. I don't think it'd be a good idea to fall in that water. It'd be kind of hard to stick together if I did."
She was nice so having her aboard the rid would have been cool. Shame she had a job to do though and kidnapping her would have been rude.

>"20 Stories. I'm almost 20 stories big. That's...pretty amazing actuallyy. I ate enough stuff to grow to be 20 stories large. Most people don't even do that in their lives. I can do it whenever. Fucking amazing."

Well we payed for some of it but we're short some. Plus this is for the betterment of the citizens of hansodr.
Allowing samefagging if you can think of a way to sneak on the ship.
Rolled 10 + 15 (1d20 + 15)


oh and here's an idea.
Try using a blast of stench filled air and sending it over there to drive the workers away. If we can get them to live if even for just a minute or two we could get on.

And growl at the workers and tell them they are getting on our nerves. and if they keep it up things will end poorly for them
Rolled 19 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

I do not like discord, I have to use it for my raiding guild and I absolutely despise the program, for reasons starting with the goddamn X doesn't kill the program and I can't fully exit it without digging it out of my system tray, and the last thing I want is a bunch of 4chan anons listening to me bitch and whine about unrelated things. But, that is my personal opinion.

>Use new super-sticky powers to stick to the bottom of the gangplank and ooze up towards the entrance.
>"Oh fuck water oh fuckfuckfuck if I fall in, I'm gonna dissolve like that fucking sugar lump in Liz's tea, oh god that means I'm more sugar than anything else right now oh fuckfuckfuckfuck!"
>"I kinda wish I'd brought that nice girl with me though, I bet she'd know just what to say to make me feel better, I really should go find a nice girlfriend that likes me for me instead of sperging on concubines...they don't really like me anyway...I bet that she would have liked me."
>"Still though, twenty stories! I don't think I've ever been this big before! Take THAT Ren, now I'm almost as third as tall as you! There's no stopping me now!"
>"I think Liz would be mad if she knew about my shoplifting, but what else was I supposed to do? It's not like Ren pays me anything, and I needed more snacks to continue making Hansodr great and a werewolf paradise! It'll all be forgiven once Hansodr is working again, I know it will be, so it's fine."
>"Hey, quit moving in there. You keep wiggling, you're gonna fall out and drown in the ocean, and I can't jump in and save you if you do! If you don't quit wiggling, then I'm going to thicken my slime so you can't move at all, and I don't think you'd like THAT at all now, would you??"
I enjoy discord.
Mostly because I use it for other quests and it's good for memes.
And btw did veterans and soldiers have any reaction to us subsidizing their housing and making it cheaper?
Anyways I have to be off but so I can remember.

Things to do as soon as possible
>Hold a meeting to get rid of that title of war criminal
>Start a charity foundation.
>Work on medical advances

Things like this.
Go to task manager and end process anon. I think that works.

You stick to the bottom of the g angplank and crawl onto the ship, releasing a foul smell driving off workers...

Roll me a 1d20+6 to nom cargo containers.

+3 if you can find a way to nom the containers. (+1 if you can use the snow ball effect to absorb faster! +1 if you can try to encompass the ship! +1 if you can also try to reduce or spread out your we ight to prevent sinking the ship.)
+2 if you can take care of the guards.
+2 if you can take care of the crane.
+2 if Claw can get ultra hyper from all the sugar he's going ti eat.
+1 if Claw can think about slipping down into the lower decks.

If everything's done, autosuccess.
Rolled 2 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

Rolled 2 + 17 (1d20 + 17)

I tried ending it from task manager, since it was built on the same codebase as google chrome, if it ends unexpectedly like being quit from task manager it just starts back up again. If I want it dead, I need to kill it from the system tray.

>Force some slime between the lid of the container and the container itself, and then use the slime as a fulcrum to pop off the lid and slide the rest of your slimy tongue into the container to absorb all the sugary goodness. As Claw grows, he simply absorbs other shipping containers, makes a specialized slime bubble just for them, and dissolves the metal shipping container away to reveal the sugary prizes within.
>Grab the guards and pop them into a (now empty) storage container. Upend it so they can't just walk out and put the lid back on, and lean it up against a wall so they can't knock it over and escape that way.
>Spit slime at the base of the crane so it can't spin and move anymore. If needed, spit slime at the cab so the operator can't leave the cab and get help, either.
>"Sugarsugarsugarsugar I think this was headed to the sugar silos from before, I'm going to have so much energy ENERGY RAWR JUST RUNNING ALL THE TIME! POWER RUNNING, POWER CITY PLANNING, POWER SPAWNING POINTS, NEW WORLD OF REICHCRAFT WILL HAVE SO MANY SPAWN POINTS, 400 SPAWN POINTS!"
>"I bet they're hiding all the goodgoodgood stuff below decks I gotta get down there and nom it NOW!"
Going to allow samefagging if you can either reduce your weight or spread out over the ship.
Rolled 10 + 17 (1d20 + 17)


>Allow slime to ooze out and cover the floor wall-to-wall in an even, if deep, layer to both keep weight evenly distributed AND absorb new shipping crates.

You allow some slime to ooze out and cover the floor in a deep layer, using it to suck other shipping crates towards you...

All the sugar in these crates makes you ULTRA hyper, and foam once again comes out of you mouth, with your body turning to a bright white, and your skin becoming slightly crystal... It somehow doesn't impede your consumption of more containers though.

You gain three more stories just from all that absorption, and you look into going below decks... Though it's an extremely tight fit... You even smell some more sugar below!

Roll me a 1d20+4 to try and seep into the lower decks. (-2 from it being a tight fit!)

+3 if you can think of a way to squeeze into the tiny holes somehow!
+2 if you can physically express your HYPER ACTIVE self.
+2 if you can try to hide the digestion and absorption of all those boxes from people on the docks!
+2 if you can be happy about the ship being even more comfortable, being covered in slime...
+1 if you can terrify the people sleeping below!
+1 if you can take care of the people sleeping below before they do anything!

If everything happens, autosuccess!
Rolled 13 + 15 (1d20 + 15)


>Use acid to make the holes a little larger so you can ooze through quicker! FOR SUGAR!
>Literally bounce from wall to wall after oozing through the holes, smacking into crates until they rupture and absorbing all the sugar within.
>Form massive amounts of bubbles in the slime you're oozing everywhere and coating the walls with. Sure, you're bouncing from wall to wall, but all the slime on the walls deadens the sounds of impact and reduces the rocking of the boat, it's like running headfirst into a foam wall! The people outside won't notice a thing...
>"Aw man, look at all this awesome slime, it's everywhere! I can't even feel hitting the walls, my slime just bounces me back off, this is so cool! I gotta recreate this for Ren sometime, he'll find it fun as hell too!"
>"Slavering, foaming jaws, check. Looks like a massive gel wolf with rabies, check. WHO WANTS JELLY WOLF RABIES???"
>"If you do NOT want jelly wolf rabies, then jump into that slime pile over there, or else I'll lob you into it myself."

Claw is now Flubber.
You make the holes a bit larger and ooze through the bottom decks, absorbing practically everything... Even the crew members who you stick below deck in a slime pile..

You grow by an additional 2 stories, and feel your body straining against the ship... In fact, it's rocking a bit... Now you have to get out! But your so hyper that your practically bouncing up and down, causing waves around the ship!
You squeeze out of the ship, and hop off it, into what seems to be an alleyway... You hyperactively flee deeper into the city, rubbing slime everywhere!

Your mouth is foaming extremely, causing a slight mist at the bottom of your feet that smells like delicious candy, to be fair. You even take a quick bite of your slime and it tastes like jelly! Delicious, delicious sugar jelly!

You hop excitedely through the streets... The werewolf inside of you whines about being "sick to his stomach" from all the jiggling and seems to be sore from all your squeezing...
Poor wolf guy...

What do anons?

>Head to the warehouse!
>Head home! (Ultra Success currently!)
>Head home! (Ultra Success currently!)
You bounce your way home...

You are back to being Renexizious.

[red]"So... Your telling me that Coca Cola has lost fifteen million dollars worth of... Sugar? Since last night?"[/red]

"Erh... Yes... And uh, if in case you haven't heard the slight tremors, Claw is uh... Bouncing excitedly around the palace."

[red]"I see... Well, at least he's getting exercise. Is there anything else?"[/red]

"He's uh... Sent the construction plans to you. So I believe not."

[red]"Ah! Good..."[/red]

Chrysoula leans over.

"H-hey, Ren?"


You hear a slight giggle from her, and turn around... She seems to have shaped the bubbly foam into a sort of very long beard.

[red]"Aw, that's adorable... Anyways, slave... Is that it?"[/red]

"Yes... Oh, also, the ministress of magicka is apparently on a excavation in Africa."

[red]"Got it. Thank you."[/red]

He leaves and you go back to playing in the tub with Chrysoula, and cover her entirely with bubbles, making a sort of bubble blanket. She seems to be smiling, and laughing a bit.

"R-ren? Let me try!"

[red]"Hey, come on. Don't move... You'll get all these bubbles off you."[/red]

You look up at the time... Elizabeth should be coming down any minute... God, do you really want to get out?


>...Well... Maybe you should get going... It's kinda late and you have work to do...
>See if Chrysoula's willing to help you more with science!
>...Just a bit more fun with your wife, Chrysoula... She's so cute when she's happy...
>...You know, you kinda need to make it up to Elizabeth. You should try to do something romantic for her!
>...Well... Maybe you should get going... It's kinda late and you have work to do...

Things to Work On, Item 1: Get rid of war criminal status!
Item 2: Charity Foundation (preferably for the arts)
Item 3: Work on medical advances, including human mutagen.
You decide to get up... You have things to do!

You give a kiss to Chrysoula, who seems a bit sad by you leaving her, and you head up the stairs...

You see Michael on the couch, watching more Gunsmoke, and eating a large tub of popcorn... Meanwhile, you hear inane giggling... A very, very happy Elslif runs around excitedly with a stick, booping Michael on his half-dragon snout every time she runs around in a circle...

"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!!!" She yells, seeing you, and charges forth with a stick, excited to see you, her little half-dragon tail wagging furiously. Not to mention her hopefully little eyes and adorable little feet...

What do?

>Brace for Elslif's charge. Grab her as she charges you for an amazing hug.
>...Elslif, have you been getting into the candy again?
>...Michael, come on. Play with your little sister.
>...Elslif, come on. I can't play right now...
>Elslif, you could hurt yourself! Put that stick down!
>...Elslif... Why don't I teach you how to duel with a stick? It's a very noble art.
>Brace for Elslif's charge. Grab her as she charges you for an amazing hug.
>...Michael, come on. Play with your little sister.
You brace for Elslif's charge, and grab her and giving her a hug... She laughs manically and hugs you sweetly.

"Daddy!" She gives you a kiss on the nose, happy to see you.

"Hey Elslif... Hey, Michael. Come on. Play with your sister, she's extremely hyper..."

"Dad! When's Renexizia getting back? I miss her!" Elslif says, extremely hyper.

"Oh... Uh, well... Soon. She's busy in Constantinople."

"Aww... Do you think she'll bring me anything?"

"I don't know..."

"Oh! Do you know why mommy's so scared? She's really red on her cheeks!"

"It's just something from earlier..."

"Yeah! Oh, dad? Do you wanna play outside? It's snowing! I wanna make a snowdragon with you!"

"Snow dragon?"

"Yeah! The biggest EVER!"


"Yeah! Can we do it? Pleeeeeeeeaasssseee? Come on! I didn't stay up past my bedtime for a no!"

"...You stayed up past your bedtime?"

"Only a little!"

You give her a suspicious eyebrow.

"...How late?"

"Uh... I-I don't have to answer that! But come on dad! Mom doesn't want to play! Michael just wants to get fat and eat popcorn!"


"It's true! Also, Odah is being mean and is sleeping! Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!"

She jumps off your shoulders, flopping on the ground, and tries to drag you by the leg weakly.

"Daaaad! Come on! I wanna play with you! It's fun!"


>Smile intensely at this.
>...How about later, Elslif?
>...Fine... I guess I can play with you for a few minutes.
>Elslif... How long were you up?
>Come on, I'll get your mom to play.
>Michael. Play with your sister. That's an order!
>Just watch TV, ok?
>...I need to go... Sorry...
>Smile intensely at this.
>Michael. Play with your sister. That's an order!
>Write-In: Daddy's really busy right now, so he can't, but I promise I'll make snow dragons with you this weekend, ok sweetie?
You can't help but smile intensely at this...

"Daddy's really busy right now, so he can't... But this weekend the two of us will make snow dragons, ok sweetie?"

"Yay! Thanks dad!"

"Michael! Play with your sister, ok?"

"Alright, alright... I got it..."

You head outside to the gardens to try and figure out how to deal with the war criminal title...

You do however, remember your mother is trying to get you for a "family reunion", and no doubt is trying to hunt you down... Luckily, you know the one place she won't look... Which is Claw's room.

It's a filthy mess, full of slime everywhere getting on your feet and... Ugh. But you need to focus, damn it... And seriously, what's with that whining? It's like a dog or something's trapped in here.

Either way, you think about how to make yourself less "evil"...


>...Free the Dutch people from slavery.
>Maybe donate to a charity?
>...Try to get the US Embassy to help you? Viktor owes you... Right?
>Maybe you can try to get the Pope to endorse you?
>...Ignore it..
>...Maybe try to free your slaves?
>Try to do some good old fashioned propoganda.
>...Maybe you can threaten the UN...
>Deal with that pesky underground newspaper. Now!
>...Try to get the US Embassy to help you? Viktor owes you... Right?
If this is unsuccessful, then:
>...Free the Dutch people from slavery.

If that goes through successfully, then:
>Deal with that pesky underground newspaper. Now!
You decide to go to the US Embassy...

Who will you talk to?

>The Dwarf in charge of the embassy!
>...The uh... Minotaur. What was his name again? (If you can remember his name, get a small opinion bonus from him.)

Also, do you want to have fun and scare them like you did with Victor, or just try and convince them to help?
OH, and if anons want, you can try to convince Elizabeth with her amazing Charisma to do this for you.
>...The uh... Minotaur. What was his name again? (If you can remember his name, get a small opinion bonus from him.)
...I'm awful with names. But I thought we were going to call up Viktor directly?

Well, I'd assume they'd tell Viktor to help you so you don't interrupt any important meetings he has going on right now or interrupt his schedule, etc.

You head to convince the minotaur... Patrick, was it?

You find Patrick at what seems to be a copier machine, printing out what seems to be flyers for a "BBQ Steak Out, All You Can Eat" or something like that.

"Hey, Patrick?"

The minotaur turns around.

"Huh? Yeah? Can I help you?"

"Yeah... I was wondering... Wait, is that..."

He sighs.

"Yes, I know. It's a steak BBQ cook out. For the staff here, really."

"...Who's cooking it?"

He sighs.


You are a bit confused.

"Isn't that... Well, kind of like cannibalism? Besides, can you even digest it?"

"...Erh... I worked as a rancher for a while, so I'm used to it. And I can't eat the stuff, makes my insides want to explode. And technically we're not bovines, we just appear li-"

"Just saying... Anyways, am I invited?"

"I suppose so, if you want. Here's the flyer."

He hands you the flyer, and you thank him..

"Anyways, when is this?"

"Next month, really."

"Got it."

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if you can convince him to help you.

+3 if you can talk about how you clearly shouldn't be labeled a war criminal...
+2 if you can try to be friendly with Patrick. You really need his help after all.
+2 if you can mention if you'll go to his barbecue or not, and have an interest in this.
+1 if you can be disappointed at not being able to hang out with Chrysoula in the bath some more...
+1 if you can think lustfully/lovingly of Elizabeth... She's just so attractive. (+1 if you can talk about her lustfully/lovingly to Patrick. +1 if you can bide your time for Elizabeth and think when might be a good time to get that tumble with her.)
+1 if you can warn Patrick about the hyper-active Claw jumping all over the place...
+1 if you can also mention why you think minotaurs are pretty cool compared to humans...
Also, if you do everything, Patrick will want to help you.
Rolled 19 + 17 (1d20 + 17)


>"So, about that whole 'war criminal' thing, it's all just a huge misunderstanding. The Dutch aren't toiling in mineshafts getting whipped, I just had a bad day and flew down there to vent at some strange people because I couldn't do it at home. And then I...kinda brought some of them back to vent at on the way home. They're all perfectly fine and happy though."
>"So, who's idea was this barbecue? Yours or the lush's? Eugh...do you think I should go in there and pretend like I came to see him, instead of the guy who can actually get stuff done?"
>"I mean, I'd love to go to the barbecue, roasted meat is definitely my thing, but uh...are you sure that this doesn't bother you? Hell, did Lushy even ask you before saying you were going to cook up a couple cows for him?"
>...I kinda wish I could have made more bubble-beards with Chrysoula, shown her what a true example of manly, bubbly splendor looked like, but I have to get some of this crap off my plate before it explodes in my face, again. Then, once it's taken care of, I can go back to business.
>"Do you mind if I bring Elizabeth to the barbecue? I know she'd love to attend, saying it's a good excuse to mingle with our allies and such. And clearly, you'd want the world's most beautiful, shapely dragoness there, she's got just the perfect outfit for such an occasion. Affords an excellent view of the Royal Battalion, if you catch my drift. Just remember, admire from a distance."
>"And um...if you go to the castle to fill me on on what's happened, please remember to be aware of the hyperactive, sugar-coated, crystalline gelatinous wolf that's currently bouncing all over the castle grounds...he's a bit sticky."
>"And, I have to say, I admire your fortitude when it comes to this barbecue thing. You start talking about grilling up gorilla and the humans all get queasy and green, but a minotaur grilling up some beef? They don't even bat an eye. That kind of ability to just brush things off and go with the flow is pretty cool, if you ask me."
You tell Patrick all this, and he nods. He seems quite convinced and wants to help, but mentions how hard it'll be... Not to mention the concrete evidence against you. But he decides to help.

You of course, leave, and decide to deal with the underground newspaper.

What do?

> Get Liz to help. (+1 to Charisma abd better PR)
> Get Chrysoula to help. (+1 Charisma)
> Go and find it solo...
> Send the Lupus Mortem to tske care of them...
> Write In
> Get Liz to help. (+1 to Charisma abd better PR)
You decide to go get Elizabeth to help...

You head downstairs to the lair, and hear Elizabeth inside, taking a bath... And singing with Gwynevere. It's a very beautiful melody of "Britannia Rules the Waves", and you think about how to do this...

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if you can get Elizabeth to help you.

+3 if you can find a way to maybe sneak into the bath with her.
+2 if you can compliment her lovely singing...
+2 if you can be lustful and loving towards her.
+2 if you can give her good arguments why she should come with you.
+1 if you can appeal to her wanting good PR.
+1 if you can make more innuendo jokes towards her majesty's fleet.
+1 if you can mention how you plan to shut it down.

Autosuccess if everything happens and you can threaten her with embarrasing her further.
Rolled 6 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

Well patrykos was nice.

Obscuring mist+drow form
>Absolutely divine. Maybe we should form a band? You'd make a great lead.
We'd play a mean bass

Start helping her wash 'Very' thoroughly.
Allowing samefagging if you can be more loving/lustful to your wifem
Rolled 14 + 17 (1d20 + 17)

Begin massaging her shoulders and talk low and slow.
>it's nice seeing her majesties fleet floating the waters again. They are quite appealing. Elizabeth if you could be so kind would you mind helping me with the underground newspaper? You are so good with people and this would really help my appearances and yours as well. I wanted to see if we can get them to work for me. I understand they want the truth but I'd rather they didn't spread slander either. Though if you don't want to gi we could have some more fun. That spectacle at the cake store was glorious.

Good Success!

You sneak in your drow form, and surprise her in her lovely naked body...

"Hey Elizabeth... I must say, your absolutetly divine... You know, maybe we should form a band. You'd be a great lead..."

You message her shoulders...

"It's nice to see her majesty fleet floating the waters again... Quite appeal, if I do say..."

You give them a bit of a squeeze, and she blushes and giggles.

"R-ren, come on..."

"Hey... Why don't you help me with the underground newspaper? Your good with people, and it would really help our appearances... Maybe they'll even work for us. I understand they want the truth... But don't you agree slander's a bit far?"

"W-well, I agree..."

"Yeah... You know, if you don't want to go, we could have more fun... That spectacle at the cake store was nice..."

"H-hey... Come on... I'm trying to w-wash here..."


"C-come on... I don't know... D-do they get my good sides though?"

"Your good sides?"

"W-well... I don't know... I mean, us Brits support freedom of the press..."


"I-I just think it's a bit of a slippery slope..."

You seem close to a success

Roll me a 1d20+5 if you can completely convince her.

+3 if you can mention the advantages of a controlled press.. (+2 if you can mention how they'd portray you and Elizabeth... +1 if you can encourage Elizabeth to maybe consider controlling the press...)
+2 if you can continue being lustful and loving. (+1 for more innunendo.)
+1 if you can mention which side is Elizabeth's best side.
+1 if you can compliment Elizabeth's other forms... And mention how nice your drow form is.
Rolled 7 + 11 (1d20 + 11)

>Look liz if you leave the press to their own devices they'll just get more and more ridiculous and soon they are making up outlandish stories until you go from a kind mother of many to a despotic all consuming tyrant maybe you should consider it too? Trying to keep the press focused on constructive discussion and not becoming some political circus.

Keep up that relaxing message and let it go down lower.
Sides, Chest, Abdomen. Focus on the chest.

>You know this drow form is pretty fun. All of mines are. You should consider trying yours out more too. They make you look cute. I bet they are just as useful as mines are too if not more.

Does our dwarf form give a boost to blacksmithing?
I'd assume so, actually. Allowing samefagging if you can be more lustful and mention how cute she is.
Rolled 4 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

And do elves have any innate skill for nature magics?
Are they truly treefuckers?

>C'mon I think you look cute with purple skin. You look cute short in your dwarf form. The sharp ears in your elf form are nice too.

Liz's best sides?
Her front and her back.

In fact.
Smack her back.
A good part of our day.
Rolled 8 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

Make out with her.
And tease her with the thought of tumbling in our different forms
Allowing a success if you can mention how beautiful she is while naked and embarrassed, and be a bit more lustful.
Let's move positions in the bathtub.
Move right in front of liz.
Look her right in the eyes and fondle her boobs.

>You know you look so wonderful right now. You're hair soaking wet. Blushing and flustered. That red tone is so adorable. It's so tempting to have some fun right now. Maybe I should embarrass you a bit more often.

I think your already fondling that. In the "message" part.
Be a bit more rough.
Position ourselves to be on top of her and move our face right next to her when we say this.

ya know.
We could shift into our yuan ti form.
So we can grope her chest and ass.
"Come on Elizabeth, if you leave the press alone they'll make up outlandish stories from you being a kind mother of many cute children to a despotic, all consuming tyrant... Maybe you should consider controlling them more too..."

You compliment her scales and blushing, and make out with her along with groping and wrapping around her... She's a bit shocked by your yuan-ti form...

"R-ren... I don't know if controlling the press is a good idea... Besides, how would they claim I'm a tyrant if I listen to them?"

"Come on..."

Elizabeth is very, very close to being convinced...

Roll me a 1d20+7 anons.

+3 if you can reassure her about being a kind beautiful mother, rather then a despotic consumer of many. (+2 if you can calm her down about her previous past time of eating people, and try to be understanding...)
+2 if you can mention how sad it would be if people thought she as anything but a nice mom. (+2 if you can bring up examples of being a nice, maternal figure to all.)
+1 if you can be loving towards her.
+1 if you can mention how people would love her if the news painted her as the best mother to ever grace this earth. (+1 if you can appeal to her desiring more children. A lot more. +1 if you can think who's a better mom, Elizabeth or your mom.)

Autosuccess if everything happens.
Critical Autosuccess if anons can really go into detail about just how amazing Elizabeth is as a mother and why maybe later you'd be up for even more kids... And how loved she would be if she controlled the newspaper.
>Any mother but our mother being the best mother
Sounds like heresy to me.

>Oh liz you know how some people love to blow things out of proportion. You wouldn't want anyone to think you anything but a amazing mother no? That would be quiet a shame. you're amazing cooking. The way you care so much, constantly worrying about them. The fact you want to do nothing but spend time with them. The way you pay so much attention to each minor detail. Constantly looking over them when you can. You're pride and trust in them. How could you be nothing if not a amazing mother? Sure other's may say you ate one or two people but that was in the past and you weren't in the right mind of yours. It surely could not be your fault. Think about it. You could be the image of a good mother to all. A beacon of motherhood. and you know. While you're thinking about how great you are with kids. Maybe in the near future we could make more? That is...If you want to of course.
Very close anon... But could you go a bit more indepth on her being a motherly figure to practically everyone, and reassure her more about the past "eating people" thing.
>"Just think about it. People would look to you for parenting advice. You would be the standard set. The pinnacle. The beacon. The one everyone would look up to. Respected to the extreme. How could you say no to that? Would you really let that be denied because you ate a few people? Because some people decided to overblow a minor incident? I don't think you did anything bad. You were innocent. Not in control. Surely you can't be held responsible. The other option is utterly ridiculous. You are a wonderful mother. Anything else someone says would be a bold faced lie.
You tell Elizabeth all this while you lovingly rub up against her...

She gives you a massive hug.

"Yeah... I- I think your right."

"Of course I am... Now, when do you want more kids?"

She gives you an even tighter squeeze...

"Oh, Ren? I was thinking... Maybe we should have a nursery for them..."


"Or at least some place to store the eggs... I don't know if they like being outside."

"Well... Maybe..."
Her Majesty's Battalion floats in the water as she sinks down, before sinking down with her...

"...I'll get dressed here in a minute, ok?"

"Great. I love you."

The two of you exchange kisses.

"...Why don't we have a few children when we get home? Just saying."

"...Well... Sure?"

She smiles, clearly happy...

You wait for her to pack up...

Anyways ,from Claw's recent hijink, choose one...

>Stable Mutation
>Unstable Mutation
>Ultra Unstable Mutation
>Slime Mutation.
>Upgrade Mutation.
Oh, and also...

>SPECIAL MUTATION. (Limited Time!)
Oh, also sorry for falling asleep. Didn't realize it was so late now.
>Slime Mutation.

Give me slime tentacles!
You decide to upgrade slime mutation...

Choose one anon.

>Extremely Slimy (Claw's slime tends to get EVERWHERE, and Claw is extremely sticky to touch, along with his slime. He can also slide along smooth surfaces, including walls and ceilings. He also gets a +2 to Dexterity.)
>Gel Tongue. (Claw's tongue becomes a long-ranged projectile, capable of being fired a long distance to hit enemies and absorb them. +1 to Dex in addition.)
>Sudden Growth. (For a turn, Claw can sprout a sudden array of tentacles to absorb everything around him and to stick to many objects.)
>Gas Buildup. (Claw's gas is built-up further and can be made at will, and becomes more powerful the more things you digest, especially if it's foul-smelling.)
>Gel Tongue. (Claw's tongue becomes a long-ranged projectile, capable of being fired a long distance to hit enemies and absorb them. +1 to Dex in addition.)

Close enough!
Gel Tongue it is.

You wait for Elizabeth to get done dressing up,and the two of you head to the city to try and find this underground newspaper...

Elizabeth however seems to want to put on some makeup before she goes, so you wait around... That's when you sort of notice a letter attached to the window of your front door, with a large emblazoned symbol of the Papal Inquisition...



>Read the letter!
>Pocket it for later.
>Wait for Elizabeth to be ready and just leave...
>Read the letter!
You decide to read the letter...

It seems to be from Amaya, in Spanish and with the smell of lavender.

Dear Renexizious.

Since you have given up the papacy to the Spanish pretender, I have been ordered back to Rome, along with the rest of the Inquisition and Knight Orders... I well.. I didn't know how to put this. I'll miss you. Even if we didn't see each other much, and even if it's abhorrent by God to be have taken a vow of chastity and broken it with you, I want that to mean something... I don't know if you'll understand... I don't even know if we had a relationship in the first place, but I've missed you since we first met... I'd like to really get to know you better sometime. But I'd like to thank you for helping me understand the evil that is Chaos, and I promise you that no one will ever feel the threat of it's dark influence so long as I, Inquisitoress Amaya Sanitata still breath.
I'll miss you though. I really will. When you get the chance, please send me a letter or call me from Sweden...

With Warm Regards, Inquisitoress Amaya Sanitaria.

Hey uh... I think she's interested with us. Just saying.


What do?

>...Order a letter sent back to her?
>Hey, Solaire... She's really catholic. Why don't you take an interest in her a bit?
>...Crumple the letter up and toss it.
>Just ignore it. It's trivial.
>Hey, Solaire... She's really catholic. Why don't you take an interest in her a bit?

Not interested in taking on another waifu, but as someone for Solaire to talk to so he doesn't go nuts in our head again.

Also, how long til Charlemagne is back?
Literally the next day.

"Hey, Solaire... She's really catholic. Maybe you should take an interest in her."

Eh... Maybe, I guess. I'll look into it.

After a bit, Elizabeth comes down and the two of you head out to find the newspaper...

Roll me a 1d20+6 to see if you can in fact, find the newspaper.

+3 if you can think of locations where the newspaper might be at.
+2 if Elizabeth and you can be pissed at the newspaper! (+1 if Gwynevere can even be mad at the newspaper for not showing her good parts! The best parts!)
+2 if Renexizious can be excited for Charlemagne's return...
+1 if Renexizious can also warn Elizabeth of Claw's extreme hyperactive self. (+1 if Renexizious can worry of how dirty Claw's going to get the front of the palace with all his slime...)
+3 if Claw can somehow find a way to make a mess absolutely everywhere in your palace with his gelatinious form, encouraging you to leave faster.
+1 if Elizabeth can be exciteded that Ren wants to help her have more children. And if she can be loving also towards him.

If everything's done, at the very least you'll get a big clue to where they are.
Rolled 8 + 20 (1d20 + 20)

>"Think big, empty things, big empty things where the noise of a printing press might go unnoticed... The warehouse district by the docks in an empty facility, maybe? Or the basement of one of my state-run newspapers, where they'd have ample access to paper, ink and distributors as well as a press?"
>Liz: "I can't believe that fucking underground newspaper is telling such horrid lies about my wonderful mothering skills!"
Gwen: "And your glorious boobs! Seriously, those are the best things ever, everyone has to like them! EVERYONE!"
Ren: "And the slander of the royal family as a whole. Can't forget the slander. Like I could be bothered to enslave people that are already under my jurisdiction...pfft. Lies. All of it lies."
>"I'm glad that Charlemagne is coming home tomorrow though. I can finally get a chance to talk with him, get over this cold relationship we've had going on for a while. I think you'd like to hear about us getting on better, wouldn't you Liz?"
>"Oh, and by the way, watch where you step on your way out of the palace, Claw got into the sugar again, and he's just...ugh, filthing up the front of the grounds licking every doorknob and window in sight, I swear."
>Claw is going to be testing out his new super-sticky almost-chameleon-like new gel tongue, by aiming it at small targets. And moving targets. And at things in general.
>Liz wraps one arm warmly around Ren's shoulders. "My dear, I'm so glad that you want to have more children with me, and with me especially. Maybe once this is all over, we can have a nice night of courtship and romance before Charlemagne gets home, hmm?"
Allowing samefagging if Gwen can continue to be mad, and if Claw can continue to make a mess. Also, if you Solaire can torn between yuan-ti catholic, cute kobold nerd, sultry Gwynevere, or Spanish inquistoress.
Rolled 3 + 20 (1d20 + 20)

>"It's like they don't even KNOW us! They'll interview some governor somewhere, and take his spin on things as gospel truth, but not even bother to ask US anything? How can they claim to be an honest voice when they refuse to talk to both sides! Hmmpf, clearly this thing is run by salty, mosquito-bitten, inferior specimens of women who are jealous of our magnificent breasts, to the point where they can't be in the same city block as them! A travesty, I say!"
>Having now (not-so) gently tongued everything in sight, Claw is outside in the front yard, digging his claws as deep into the dirt of the flower beds as he can, so he can get even more traction as he chases his tail, slinging slime everywhere as it sheds off his body in chunks due to centrifugal force. It's like watching a gel tornado sending gelatinous chunks of rain everywhere. It's getting so much distance, it's splattering the kobold embassy, for crying ou loud!
>"...Great. Where before I didn't have a single friend to talk to, now I'm spoiled for choice. Well, the Yuan-Ti and the kobold both have scales, but if I pick the kobold, then I'll get called a pedo again, so that one's out, Gwynevere and the inquistoress are both more mature women, and I think I could talk to them easier than I could get the Yuan-Ti to come to the castle, but Gwynevere goes a bit too...well, outside of just being heads, we don't have that much in common, and now I can't decide which I should talk to first! Graghgh!"
You can still samefag anon. Also, you don't have to do the "being torn" part anymore.
Rolled 4 + 20 (1d20 + 20)

>"Well, what are we going to do about it, Liz? They don't listen to reason when we say that we are clearly the superior woman! It's not our fault that they can't be as well-endowed and as awesome mothers as us! Maybe we should teach them a lesson, just so they remember it! I think sitting on them and pointing out the lies in their paper is a good start!"
>Flower beds and front lawn totally destroyed, the kobold embassy now covered in a slightly off-white, rapidly hardening, crystalline layer of goo, Claw now moves on to the next target: the children. Elizabeth always says that he should play with the kids more, right? Well, who wants doggo rides in the backyard? Playing fetch and burying treasure? Sure, the kids might get slimy, and the insides of the palace might get trashed as Claw hunts down playmates, but at least it'll make Liz happy that the kids got some exercise, right?
ffs dice gods, give me a bone here.

Minor Failure!

You search for a good few hours, at the docks, at the newspapers, you name it...
You even decide to ask around a bit and someone mentions that the newspapers are deliverer via a deliveryboy for a subscription... Which means there has to be a money-trail for the subscription... Or you could force a deliveryboy to tell you where it is...

What do?

>See about trying to camp out and wait until morning at place that might have a subscription... Then strike. (Choose to be either Elizabeth or Renexizious.)
>...See about trying to hunt the money trail... Maybe there's a tax company you can investigate... (Renexizious or Elizabeth.)
>...See about trying to hunt the money trail... Maybe there's a tax company you can investigate... (Renexizious or Elizabeth.)

Elizabeth. She's got better ways of convincing people to talk to her.
Elizabeth decides to hunt the money trail!

Elizabeth hunts the money trail to what seems to be a tax filing company... Hm.

You of course go in through the front door, to what seems to be the waiting room. An elven secretary files her nails, waiting, and answers a call while filing.

Hm... She seems quite busy.

You wait patiently and eventually get into a meeting with the tax attorney, which seems to be a male human with glasses... He wears a tie and seems to be looking through some papers...

Roll me a 1d20+5 for what you learn!

+3 if Elizabeth can really get his attention. (+2 if she can get the secretary envious from all the way in here! +1 if she can come up with an excuse for the secretary to come in just to get her envious, the barechested plebian...)
+2 if Elizabeth can be sweet and overly maternal to the tax attorney. +1 if she can talk about her children a little and how cute they are. (+1 if she can mention that cute little race of lizards... Kobolds? They were rather adorable, with their little plates and armor... +1 if she can talk about maternally adorable things to do to that cute little race.)
+3 if Claw can find FUN things to do with Elizabeth's kids! And get slime everywhere! And maybe annoy/inconvinence/play games with Renexizious's wives!

Autosuccess if everything happens.
Rolled 8 + 19 (1d20 + 19)

>Elizabeth sits down in the chair, and primly settles her worth-three-times-the-sectretary's-monthly-salary dress around her, affording the tax accountant a magnificent view of the Royal Battalion. As she finishes straightening her dress, she clasps her hands slightly above her stomach, bends her head downwards slightly, and coughs a little, sending her breasts ajiggle. "Oh dear, would you mind sending for a glass of water? I think I've got a tickle or something caught in my throat."
>"Thank you dear, that's a good boy. Now, I came in here with some questions, and I do so hope that you can help me find some answers to them. Why, when my sweet babies come to me with questions, it's all I can do to help them find their little answers. Of course, their questions are mostly of the 'what's for dinner, Mommy?' and 'may I please have some candy, Mommy?' variety so far, they're just so adorable, with their big, bright eyes and tiny, shiny scales. Oh, they do so remind me of the little lizards in the embassy building on the grounds, cute little...kobolds, I think they call themselves. Tiny little things, that like to play fight with their little plate armors and little sticks as weapons. I think maybe I should send them down some sandwiches with the crusts cut off, the next time I make up a batch. I'm sure they'd appreciate a nice luncheon once in a while, don't you?"
>"ELYSIF! You wanna play? Huhhuhhuh? Come on, grab your brothers and let's GOOOO!" Claw tears off into the backyard, shedding slime the entire way. By the time he's done, there's a massive gel pad, filled with extra bubbles to give it more bounce, that works as a trampoline. A massive slime trail slopes down the backyard and into a soft gel landing pad for a super-fun slip-n-slide! And hey, why not get Chrysoula in on this? Just toss her onto the slip-n-slide, what's the worst that could go wrong?
Eh, just a bit more envy and a bit more talking about maternal things about rhe kobolds. Otherwise it's good.
>While signing into the tax attorney's office, Liz makes sure to lean heavily over the secretary's desk, resting her breasts upon it while she signs her name to the paper with a flourish, managing to scratch an itch at the top of her breast with the end of the pen in the same motion. "Oh, is something the matter, sweetie? Oh no, I completely forgot that this isn't my pen! Hold on a moment, I think I've got another in my purse somewhere, I can give you a different pen if you'd rather."
>"Ooo, and after the little luncheon, my sweet children could play with them afterwards! But only if they agree to be careful with their little sticks, can't have any eyes getting poked out now, can we? Maybe I should see about getting all their little sticks made a little safer, I couldn't bear the thought of one of them accidentally getting hurt, oh that would be just dreadful. Yes, yes that is exactly what I'm going to do when I get home. It's for their safety, the poor dears. They just don't know any better."
For nearly twenty-five minutes you talk about your children and those cute little kobolds who should really use... Foam tubes? Yes! Foam tubes, rather then their short little sticks...

After a brief conversations, you get where the subscription money is headed to... Apparently a laundromat?

You go there with Renexious, and step out.. It's not in the very good part of town, being the elven ghetto... You see a few elven families with cute little innocent elven children looking at the washers and dryers, and playing between the laundomat halls.. So you make sure to shift to your elven form before doing anything... Wow... Even your elven form has some nice assets...

"Yeah! Now come on! Let's go!

You get out of the car and enter the laundromat... You head to what seems to be the manager, and knock on his door...

"Sweetie? I have a lot of questions for you! Could you open up?"

The door opens to what seems to be a russian man with elven ears.

"What do you want?"

"Can we talk inside? Apparently some money from a subscription program has been going here, and I'm curious if you have it or send it along to someone else."

He nearly closes the door in your face, but not before you get your foot in the door.


The man sighs.

"Cyka Blyat... Why do you care? It is for my cousin."

"Can you tell me where he lives, please?"

He suspiciously looks at you.

"Come into office."

He opens the door widely again, holding it open for you, as you go inside and take a seat at the desk...

Roll me a 1d20+6 anons.

+3 if Elizabeth can try to give arguments for him to tell her where his cousin is! (+1 if you can reassure him about not being in trouble! +! if you can also go into a little rant about the newspaper slandering your family, and how you don't eat people anymore!)
+2 if you can shapeshift to your half-dragon form and do something extremely maternal to the russian elf. (+2 if you can talk about how lovely those elven families are, and if you should help them somehow. Like charity! Or reading them a book... +1 if you can mention how your a great mother. +1 if you can also come up with thoughts on how to get your children to bond with those little kobolds. They'd be such great friends! Not to mention reading stories to your children and those kobolds, so sweet. +! if Elizabeth can think of maternal activities to do with her children and the kobolds.)
+1 if Elizabeth can brag a bit about being possibly pregnant later, with her darling husband.
+2 if Gwynevere can be alluring towards the man!

Autosuccess if everything happens, and learn the location of the newspaper!
Rolled 3 + 21 (1d20 + 21)

>"Listen, sweetie, it's not that we're mad at you or anything. You're not in any trouble, it's just we need to know where your cousin is. That little newspaper of his is just spreading such filthy, slanderous, illegal lies, and it is against the law to print such filth. Eating people on the regular...well I never! That was a filthy activity I kicked long before it could even become a habit! ...Er, anyway, we're not going to hurt your cousin, or any of his employees. We just want to let him know, that telling such fibs is naughty, and must be stopped. We don't mind if he prints his own paper, so long as he doesn't do it to push lies."
>Liz shapeshifts to half-dragon form, and draws the man into a hug, burying the side of his face into her assets and speaking softly. "I know that Ren's been harsh on elvenkind, but that was only because a certain cell of elven terrorists launched multiple attacks on his families' lives. You can understand his need to protect his family, can't you? I'd move the heavens and the earth itself to protect my sweet babies if anything came to hurt them, you know. But most elves just want to live out their lives, I know that. They're quite lovely, those cute little elven children, crossing the street, holding Mommy's hand, playing that little street game with sticks and balls and hoops. I'd love to get a little charity service set up, see about getting some real housing set up here, instead of these nasty ghettos. The whole tree shouldn't be cut down because of one nasty branch, should it? Maybe we can even get those sweet little kobolds and my children to help out, it'd be a great bonding activity for them! And maybe a group story time for the little kobolds, my children, and all the sweet little elven children, as a show of solidarity! Followed by a cute little game of that hoop stickball, your children can show them how to play! I can referee! Won't it be simply adorable?"
>"And of course, this would be something that would have to occur in the near future, as it's rather hard to move once one is heavy with egg, as you know. My darling Ren is always finding new ways to make it less stressful for me, such a wonderful man."
>Gywn: "You know, helping them rise to better themselves would be a great article to write about, and you could even take credit for it since we brought it up with you first. We just want the best for all of our subjects, even if it takes a while to get around to everyone."
I'll be back in a hour anon. I have to get to work, but I'll be able to post when I get there.

Also, the discord is almost set up. I'll either post it while I'm at work or when I get home.
Rolled 9 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>The newspaper against us is in the elven ghetto
Of course it's the elven ghetto.
It fits perfectly actually.
Anyways, I gotta go. If you want a higher success, be even more maternal and talk about how it's like being pregnant as Elizabeth, and romanticize it quite a bit. Maybe even brag about how many children you'll have.
I just found my phone. Weird. Guess I can do phoneposting to work.
I'm actually gonna go to sleep now, QM. Hopefully I'll be awake by the time Charlemagne's party rolls around.
Rest in peace.
Rub the man on the head cooing all the while.
>"Though it is a bit heavy it's not that bad actually. All that sitting around gives you time to think plus it's a wonderful excuse to spend time with the family it's actually quite nice once you think about it. Maybe if I'm lucky I could have another dozen kids by the time the year is out.
You talk further about children and how nice it is to be pregnant... After a bit he points you in the direction of the newspaper.

You begin to head there... You feel a bit divided though...


> Get as angry as you can! You aren't there to be nice!
> Friendly. They'll understand that being nice gets you far.
> Be super maternal (+1 to Charisma rolls)
> Switch characters.
> Write In
> Switch characters.
I have an idea to resolve this somewhat cordially.
Well they have some valid concerns.
I kinda wanted to talk to them and reach a agreement.

Wanting news that isn't complete propaganda is nice after all.

Plus fixing the elven ghettos like we said we would for a long time.
Elizabeth can do this too?

Also,did you just want to make them stop publishing or just work for you a little?
Work for us?
Also I partially want to switch characters partially so ren can try and change the image of him being a asshole a bit.
We can't let liz do all the talking for us.

Sometime we'll have to settle down and ren will actually have to be nice to people.

Ren's reputation wouldn't go anywhere otherwise would it?
Ren being nice is a first. So you want to try and be friendly and nice as Ren?
Anyways I"ll be off for a while.
See ya OP.
You are now Renexizious, and you go deeper into the ghetto with your lovely wife Elizabeth, who's purse just becomes lighter and lighter as you go deeper in... You notice her giving some money out to families and poor...

Eventually you come to what seems to be an old warehouse on the edge of the ghetto, abandoned, with only the whirring of old machines inside. A few black cars seem to be pulled up around the warehouse, and you go up to the front door...

You knock loudly on the door, holding hands with your wife, both of you in your elven form.

After a minute, an old man answers the door, and pauses.

"Hello? Can I help you?"
The old human clearly has seen better days, having a bit of a white beard and a slight Russian accent. He seems to be blind in one eye and he wears a black tattered suit,

[red]"Just call me Ren..."[/red] You try your best to put on a smile that won't terrify him.

"And call me Elizabeth, dear." Elizabeth says, kindly towards him.

"Ah... It is nice to meet you. I wasn't... Expected guests, right now. Did you need something?"

[red]"Well... Care if I ask about the cars outside?"[/red]

"Oh, those? This is the only parking lot for a good few blocks... But anyways, why are you two knocking on my door?"

"Me and my husband heard that there was this... Lovely newspaper, being printed here. Could we step inside?"

He shakes his head.

"I'd prefer not. The machines are delicate, and most of my workers are busy out in the field."

"Ah, you send journalists out? Is this a sort of... Official publication?"

"Well, your words honor me, but no. They're volunteers, from the orphanage. Very good at getting stories. And not that tabloid bullshit you hear about so much!" He smiles quite a bit, proudly.

[red]"I see. You believe you publish the truth?"[/red]

"Well, of course! It's my job! Well... Not specifically my job. I never trained to be a journalist... It's hard to even read or write. Though finding a warehouse in my travels full of printing machines... God, am I a lucky man. Though if there is one thing I'm good at, it's making do with what I have. Which mostly comes down to tape, wrenches, hammers, you name it."

"So your a..."

"I'm homeless, technically. A traveler! But mostly a mechanic, if I can find the work."

Hm. The man seems quite proud.

"You know... You aren't a very credible source." Elizabeth says.

"Credible? Why, I'm more credible then these so-called "journalists" now! Always spinning things! Like lawyers! Or communists!" He says, clearly displeased.

[red]"I wouldn't say like that..."[/red]

"Oh, really? Well, let me tell you something here mister; and that's hardwork! These journalists have never worked a day in their life! They sit around, twiddling their thumbs waiting for stories to fall into their lap! No ambition! No pride in good honest work!" He walks along the perimeter of the warehouse, and the two of you follow.

"Now, have you SEEN what the newspapers say?"
I hate my laptop sometimes. It deleted all my text...

"Erh, no. Not really sir..." Elizabeth says.

"Well, they tell you a load of bull! Have you seen it? The rumors floating around? Well, heard... But still! No "journalist" goes out to find the truth! Too afraid of the Emperor! Well, I'm a damned ant compared to him, but I'm a small goddamned ant! At least, I hope I am... But, now... Enough with the cursing. Just look at a newspaper!"

He digs out of his pocket a newspaper, handing it back to you...

"Look on page three!"

You open up to page three... And see a photo of Elizabeth in London, with her breasts quite in a good shot... In fact, it almost feels focused upon.

"Do you see that? Feel it? It's damned disgusting! Nudity! Like it's a playboy magazine! No wonder you have a bunch of sissy-boys hoping to get a piece of that ass! The media thinks it'll get them bigger and better paychecks! They're like sharks! Now, you probably heard about the whole fiasco about her being a mom, but have you heard about the darker underbelly? Eating most of the nobles of England? Eating slaves? Slaves! The media even forgets this fact!"

Elizabeth seems a bit annoyed...


>Let him continue!
>Try to calm Elizabeth!
>...Hey, come on. Elizabeth got over that...
>I agree that it's oversexualizing Elizabeth a bit...
>Listen, she's eating...Enemies to the people. Sure.
>She's not a blood-thirsty dragon. I am...
>...Come on. Do you think she didn't regret this later? It sends her into hysterics!
Sod it, can't sleep. Gonna make some breakfast and I'll be back to posting.

>...Come on. Do you think she didn't regret this later? It sends her into hysterics!
And add in
>Write-in: Besides, that was really more of a one-off thing. She had just become a dragon at that point, emotions were running high. Imagine going through puberty again, only this time you're a twenty story winged lizard that breathes fire. Do you think you might not be tempted to act out what you read in fantasy books a time or two before coming to grips with reality?
"Come on? Do you think she didn't regret this later? It sends her into hysterics! Besides, that was really more of a one-off thing. She had literally just become a dragon at that point, emotions were running high... Imagine going through puberty again. Only this time you're a twenty story winged lizard that breathes fire and frost. Do you think you might not be tempted to act out what you read in fantasy books a time or two before coming to grips with reality?"

"Well, it's still eating people. Besides, what would compel someone to do that?"

You take a breath, not wanting to mention how you do it once in a while to avoid breaking your cover, and to prevent giving him ammo.

"Now, what do you want? I assume you came here on purpose?"


>Well, you see... I'm Renexizious, and this is my first wife, Elizabeth... We're here to discuss about your... Newspaper shop.
>Try to get him to like you and Elizabeth a bit...
>Oh, we were just wandering around the area...
>...Why don't we talk a bit? Inside?
>...You know, I think we should all go out for food. My treat.

>Try to get him to like you and Elizabeth a bit...
>...Why don't we talk a bit? Inside?
>Write-In: What would compel someone to do that? Mostly instinct, actually. Think back on all the fantasy books you read as a kid, a dragon's first response to something threatening to it is to try to eat it so it goes away. It took a bit to learn how to get those strange new urges under control, but everyone has things they need to learn to control in their new bodies.
"What would compel someone to do that? Mostly instinct, actually. Think back on all the fantasy books you read as a kid, a dragon's first response to something threatening to it is to try to eat it so it goes away. It took a bit to learn how to get those strange new urges under control, but everyone has things they need to learn to control in their new bodies, alright? Now, why don't we go inside and talk?"

"Well, don't touch any of the machines, alright?"

You head inside the factory, and there seems to be an abundance of supplies, along with what seems to be a few elven workers, and a few deliveryboys in the back talking among themselves...

It's a rather small operation, in all honesty...

Elizabeth gives you a kiss.

"Dear, please pay attention... And thanks for defending me."

She gives you another kiss, letting you see her nice elven cleavage for a good few minutes...

"Ren? Are you looking at something?"

"Huh? Nothing, nothing... Anyways..."

You decide to try and get him to like you some more...

Roll me a 1d20+6 anons.

+3 if Renexizious can try to be friendly. Try. As in struggle to be nice.
+2 if Elizabeth can be overly maternal to the man.
+2 if Renexizious can think about what to say for him to get to like him.
+1 if Elizabeth can continue being loving to Renexizious for defending her.
+2 if Claw can get tired out like the strange pupper he is. (+1 if he can somehow spread even more slime. +1 if Renexizious's mother Karestina can get a little angry at Claw getting slime everywhere before Charlemagne's party. +1 if she can nearly force the slaves to work or else, then trying to be nice to them. Trying.)

If everything's done, Claw's mess will be cleaned up faster.
>"So this is a nice...establishment, you have here. Got enough subscribers to keep the lights on and food on the table for the wife and kids, I presume? Got any favorite subject you like to write about the most?"
>"A wife and children? Oh I just adore children! How many do you have? Oh I bet they're just cute as buttons, aren't they? Do they have your eyes? I'm sure that they love you very much!"
>Hm...I know what Liz was planning to rejuvenate the elven ghettos...if I try to make mention of it though, it might out me to him, but also might get him to like me. Or I could nod my head and keep playing off of what material he gives me and then do the grand reveal? I do like grand reveals...
>Elizabeth tightly clasps one of Ren's hands in both of her own as they speak, nuzzling her head on his shoulder when she is done speaking.
>Claw, having thoroughly slimed up not only the front yard, but also the backyard, hallways, children and Chrysoula, collapses spread-eagled into a pile of normal-sized wolf, his energy finally spent. This, of course, triggers one final tidal wave of excess slime to flow outwards from the center collapse point, putting one final slimy layer of goo on everything in the backyard.
Karestina: "WHAT IN TIAMAT'S NAME HAVE YOU DONE?? Oh I JUST about to start setting out the party decorations, and you...you...YOU JUST....deep breathes, Karestina, deep breathes, he's Rennie's friend, remember, he's Rennie's friend. SLAVES! SLAVES, OUT HERE AT ONCE! CLEAN THIS MESS IMMEDIATELY, OR THE WHIPPINGS SHALL BE SEVERE, FOLLOWED PROMPTLY BY...oh wait, he said to be nice to his slaves, that's right, um...followed promptly by...fetching the first aid kit, so that you may bandage your wounds so you do not die of sepsis? That's nice enough, right?"
You didn't roll anon.
Great Success!

Elizabeth cuddles up to you after you mention children, and clasps with your hands.


"Well, I don't have any kids, but thank you very much. I live up there." He points up to what seems to be a small elevated office, as you begin the process of befriending him...

Meanwhile, at the palace as Karestina...

You have, for the past twenty-four hours, have been preparing the UTMOST to prepare for your first grandson's return! Not to mention cuddling your lil' knightikins Richard. Oh, he's so adorable when he growls for you to "stop cuddling with him" and to "please let him go". So adorable... Aw, you miss him and his knightly antics. Just like his father!

Who you must admit, is a bit of a... Dick.

Now of course, you've ordered the mere slaves to work or else get whipped... Wait, Ren said being nice... By Tiamat, this is hard. But if you don't, suddenly your literally worse then Hitler! Whoever that is. But anyways, unto preparing for your lil' Charlemagne! Hopefully he has small feet, just like his father...

RIchard moans a bit by your fifteenth story.

"Mom, please..."

"Dear, you love these!"

"No, I don't." He says, a bit agitated. You give him a kiss.

"Oh, your just sore over your hot chocolate burning your tongue... I even got you some ice, and made a cold sandwich! No crusts! Not one!"

"Hey... Uh, where's your husband?"

"Oh, him? He's busy working. Or at his little biker gang."

"...Biker gang?"

"Oh, they're delightful. For mortals. You know, nice-looking leather jackets, some of those delicious motorcycles... I must say, they'd look great in a hoard, and I don't think they taste bad at all!"


"Oh, Richard... You just aren't a full-dragon. I'm sorry."

"Technically Renexizious isn't."

"Well... He's lucky." You give Richard a bit of a pat on the head.

"...Wait, mom? You know I'm a full dragon now, right?"

You raise an eyebrow. That's certainly new.

"No, dear... Your a dragon now?"

"Erh, yes... So can you let me up?"

You sigh.

"...Well... Only for a bit. I have to set up Charlemagne's party... You know, you should get a wife."


"Come on! Some kids... I mean, Ren provides me with plenty. You haven't provided me with one, dear..." You say this, understanding that Richard can't always spend time trying to propagate his species.

"I'm just bad with girls, alright? No one really wants to go for a "good guy".

"Dear... Of course they'd love my little beautiful dragon angel! Have you tried kidnapping them?"


You tisk slightly, shaking your head.

"Well, ask your brother! He has three wives! Though their fertility does come into question, three beautiful... Oh, right... Richard? Can you be a dear?"


"Well... None of the slaves could really do this, but I think your up to the task..."


"Well... Could you wash Renexizious's wife? Chrysoula?"

"Mom... Gross."

"Please? Come on... I don't want to do it. And I'm trying my best to not kill the slaves for their incompetence"

Crap, I'm sorry, got caught up with breakfast x.x
"Really? You aren't killing them anymore?"

"No... Ren doesn't like that. Or his wives... Or my husband."

"Oh... Mom, that's wonderful."

You sigh, a bit frustrated.

"It is NOT wonderful..."

"Mom... I mean, I've dreamed of this since I was a kid. You being a... Normal mom, not killing slaves left and right. Having a cool younger brother who I could... Well, bully around..."


"Richard! You can't bully your brother around! I won't allow that in the slightest!"

He sighs.

"I meant as in forcing him to adventure with me, drink, you know. Be cool."

"Your cool Richard! Come on!"

"Mom... The kobolds literally call me the "One Who Stays Home".

You shake your head... They gave up that nickname! After you "forgot" to loot food for them.

"Anyways, shouldn't you get going? You have a party to plan."

"And you have a minotaur to wash."

He sighs, as you get up and close the newest book in your collection...

You of course, call up your husband.

"Jorund? When are you coming home?"

"WHY DID YOU BUY THIS?!" He yells, into the cellphone.

"Well, you can carry it, can't you?"


"Fifteen?!" You say, agasp.

"Yes! Fifteen!"

"Darling, it's suppose to be THIRTY! And also, use your half-dragon form!"

"You know how the police get about that! I got a ticket for damaging public property!"

"Jorund! Come on! It's a mix of a wedding cake and a coming home cake! Also, make sure to pick up that carrot cake for Ren and Richard... Oh! And cupcakes for every child."

"...I'll be home soon, dear."

"Good! I'll wait for you!" You give a kiss over the phone...

And you of course, begin to prepare for party for your darling grandchild.

Though of course, you need to clean up first.

Roll me a 1d20+6 (+2 from last time and doing all bonuses!)

+3 if you can find a way to take care of all the slime!
+2 if Jorund can think on what to do with the fifteen-foot cake. (+1 if he can think on if Karestina is spending a bit too much of his already limited money. +1 if he can worry about his son actually listening to him or not.)
+2 if you can force Claw to help.
+2 if Richard can try to come up with a fast way to clean up Chrysoula. (+1 if Best Mom can come by and encourage Chrysoula to have a few kids. And if Best Mom can be supremely maternal towards Chrysoula and Richard. +1 if he can slightly hate his mom for this.)
+2 if Best Mom can find a way to clean the rest of the children affected by Claw's slime.
+1 if Best Mom can be extremely intimidating to the slaves so they work harder. (And try to be nice. A little...)
+1 if Best Mom can think of what race would best fit Richard as a wife!

Autosuccess if everything's done.
Rolled 17 + 23 (1d20 + 23)

>Ice breath, and then shatter the resultant slime-sicles. The slaves can sweep it up, it's simple enough for them to grasp.
>"By Odin's beard, how does she expect me to...I guess I could call up some of my biker buddies, ask to borrow a pick-up truck, put the cake in the bed, drive slow and avoid any low-hanging branches, if some tree lops three feet off the top of this cake, she's going to have my head, my buddy's head, and the truck's engine. I'm going to need another job at this rate, to keep up with how much she's spending. Why she couldn't have just brought some of her gold over here to help me out, I'll never know. Atch, I hope Ren's doing ok, doing what I told him. I worry about that boy, cavorting about like some boytoy and summoning demons from the depths of hell."
>"CLAW! Wake UP you sugar-addled, overgrown mutt! Pick up that bin, yes that one right there, and get that tail of yours over there to help the slaves pick up your slimy chunks, or Tiamat help me, you will only BE slimy chunks by the time I'm through with you!"
>"Uh..Chrysoula, was it? You mind jumping in this tub of water, taking one of the loofahs, and scrubbing up a bit? I'll take the other one and get your back, sorry that the water's cold, best I could do on short notice, but with both of us scrubbing it shouldn't take too long."
Karestina: "Oh look at you two, helping clean up, how sweet! Oh it reminds me of when Richard would put bandaids on the slaves I hadn't entirely flayed to death yet, he's always been such a sweetheart for helping out the ladies. You know Chrysoula, in the grandchildren contest, Elizabeth is far, far ahead of you! I hate to be so blunt about it, but if you don't hurry, you'll never catch up!"
Richard: "Oh, Bahamut, Mom, you can't just come over and start pressuring pregnancies on people! It's not right!"
>"Oh it's no big deal, I'm sure she doesn't mind! Oh, and while you're cleaning her in this tub, let me get the other children in there, so you can get them all cleaned up as well. CHILDREN! RUB-A-DUB-DUB, GET IN THE TUB AND PLAY WITH CHRYSOULA!"
>"As for the rest of you...so far, so good? NOW DO FASTER! OR ELSE FEEL MY WRATH!"
>"Now Richard, we need to find you an acceptable mate. How about nice dragon, like your brother has? They are truly the best for having the most grandchildren in one go, and they can lay many, many clutches in a year. Also it's always just so nice to have someone around who's got similar hobbies and interests to you, dear."
You clean up as best as you can, most of the slime being eliminated completely and utterly in efficient order.Richard tries his best to clean up the children,.. Claw seems out of breath, cleaning up his own slime.

Aw. Everything's coming together for your grandchild! How sweet! You can't help but smile fondly.

Now of course, time to set up the party celebrations!

Roll me a 1d20+6 for setting this all up.

+3 if you can think what Charlemagne would love for his coming back party!
+2 if you can do extremely maternal things to your Richard and the grandkids! And your daughter-in-law. (+1 if you can slightly pressure her for pregnancy. +1 if you can be sweet and nice to her and give her tips and advice for dealing with Renexizious, and be sweet and nice to her. +1 if she can reassure her about Renexizious and just how much he loves her, and how cute she is to him.)
+2 if Jorund can pick up party equipment. (+1 if he can be a bit shocked by remembering just how many grandkids he has.)
+2 if you can be sweet and nice to Claw and reward him for hard work.
+2 if you can find excuses throughout working to coddle your grandkids and daughter-in-laws.
+1 if you can try to be... Nice. Kind of. To the slaves.

Autosuccess if everything's done.
Quick bump.
Rolled 15 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

Make it a surprise party. And bring his siblings to prepare the ambush and have svana lead him into the trap but try to make the affair not too over the top. Charlemagne seems a bit humble.

Force them all into one place and read stories to them. Then tell them embarrassing stories about richard.

>So my dear when will you get lucky? I've seen liz with plenty of children but I'd like to know when you'll give me some grandchildren as well.

Here's how to deal with ren. Learn to cook it always helps and remember to use butter. He's a bit lustful and needs plenty of attention but sometimes he wants to be left alone. Don't feel bad if he wants personal time. It's just that he has things he wants to do sometimes. It's not that he doesn't love you because trust me I've heard how much he cares about you. He finds you absolutely adorable so have some confidence okay?

>Thank you slaves... You did a good job I guess...Go along and do. Whatever slaves do in their free time.

I'm finally back.
Ya know.
we should hang out with our treasurer.
We haven't really talked to him much.
Allowing this to be a higher success if you can get Jorund to get Charlemagne something special, or just talk to Chrysoula further about how to be a good wife to your little Ren!
>"Now dear chrysoula ren can get a bit distressed or angry sometimes. This happens all you need to do is try to soothe him. Asking him not to get mad won't work and if you have anything making you feel down just tell him. He may not look it but he's very sharp and he will notice. Oh and he likes the lord of the rings and magic for whatever reason."
I'll be back in a while anons.
You prepare the trap... But not before reading all your grandkids (and Chrysoula) a story...

Meanwhile, as Renexizious...

Roll me a 1d20+7 to see how well your befriending of the russian goes!

+4 if Elizabeth's maternal nature can go from slightly to "overwhelming". To both Renexizious and the Russian.
+2 if Gwynevere can show off.
+2 if you can try to explain why your wife is so happy.
+1 if Renexizious can try to remain friendly since his son's coming back home. (+1 if he can be loving to Elizabeth.)

Autosuccess if everything happens.
Rolled 4 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

She'll keep patting them. Making sure they aren't too cold. Asking us if we need anything. Telling us about posture.

>I'm sorry if she's acting a bit. Odd. She's expecting another child on the way so she's somewhat excited.
Allowing samefagging if you can be more maternal as Elizabeth
Rolled 9 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

Shift into our dragon form and have them sit on our lap.
Pat them on the head and sing softly to them.
Rolled 19 + 13 (1d20 + 13)

Then pull them both into a crushing chest hug.
Thank the newsguy for seeing us and being reasonable.
Thank ren for being such a good husband.

If they try to get up don't allow them btw.
They stay on the lap
Since I'll be busy, if Elizabeth can be ultra-maternal, the autosuccess will become an Ultra Success.
Elizabeth starts to pat them, checking their body heat, not to mention acting odd.

"Well, I'm sorry if she's acting odd... She's expecting anothe-"

She shifts into her dragon form, knocking you to the side... She picks up everyone, and terrifies most, if not everyone working here, and giving them all a crushing chest hug

"Oh, come on dears. We should talk about this all together. But first, I'd love to thank my husband Renexizious, for being such as good husband!"

She gives you a kiss, and she carefully hugs everyone. Jesus, she's really maternal right now... Some guy tries to get up and you see Liz glare at him, and give him a even bigger hug. She even sings softly to you, and you must admit, this is rather cute.

"Thank you for being so reasonable, mister..."

"Erh... It's Sergeyevich."

"Sergey! Oh, your so cute... All of you! Especially my husband, but now... Me and my husband were curious... How would you like to serve the Empire, and your Queen? Oh, and Renexizious too, I suppose."

She gives you a kiss on the head.
You know. You were going to TRY and not reveal it. But it seems Elizabeth's overwhelming maternal nature has prevailed.

"Erh... We're independent, my Queen..." An elf says...

You are now Elizabeth, and your partially stealing the show from your husband... But all these adorable little humans... Like unguided children!

Now of course, you just need to get them to publish the truth...


>...Your overwhelming maternal nature, and sweet motherly tendencies will win.(+1 bonus!)
>Your assets will win them over! They win everyone over in the end! (+1 bonus!)
>...Try to channel some of that parental intimidation you hear so much about!
>Bribe them?
>Try to mention how it'll be a glorious service to the empire!
>...Your overwhelming maternal nature, and sweet motherly tendencies will win.(+1 bonus!)

>Trying to be a nice guy as ren
>Liz steals the show.
Liz is going to steal literally all our limelight in public appearances if we bring her.
Unintentionally to boot!

Roll me a 1d20+8 anon!

+3 if you can be ULTRA MATERNAL.
+3 if you can think of a maternal activity to do. Like taking them out for dinner!
+2 if you can appeal to everyone's sense of motherly attachment.
+1 if you can "daww" over the smaller, more fleshy races. They're just like children! (+1 if she can dispel this notion that dragons are all evil and cruel! Just look at her!)
+1 if Elizabeth can talk about how fun it'll be to be pregnant again and that sort of thing.
+1 if Ren can try to get back into the spotlight and if Elizabeth can unintentionally overshadow him. (+1 if Elizabeth can be loving towards her. +1 if they can get in a competition together about trying to show the most love.)

Autosuccess if everything happens and if Elizabeth can be mom extraordinaire.
*towards him

Oh, also Ren and Elizabeth will get better PR for this. Especially if Ren can try to be fatherly.
Rolled 5 + 19 (1d20 + 19)

>Awww... You're so adorable. Little human I should take you out to the park. So soft with your squishy flesh and your tiny body. I could eat you up.

Force him down and pet him desu.
Like a puppy.
>All you small fleshy races are so adorable. I don't know why you all are so scared of dragons. We aren't that evil. Just look at me you'd have to be the kind of person to hate your own mother to hate me. I just think you all are so adorable even when you're worried.

Remember when liz hated being pregnant?
Pepperridge farms remembers.

>You know maybe for a article you should mention my coming pregnancy. It's going to be so nice being pregnant again. I get to spend time with my children. My loving husband, and anticipate some new ones on the way.

Ya know if liz keeps wanting kids I wonder if she might want to stay home more and more and work less and less.
Is this why we had the option to take partial control of britain?
If Elizabeth can be even more adorable and maternal, and be more loving towards Ren
*It'll be a samefag.
Rolled 1 + 19 (1d20 + 19)

Pull ren next to her for a cuddle-hug and start nuzzling.
>Aw this is so nice. We should do this more often. Ren maybe we could all go see a movie? Or take him to a playground? You have to admit this is all so nice.
So... Does Ren want to interject with a barbaric? And maybe steal the spotlight?

Roll me a 1d20 anon.

+4 if Ren can try to steal the spotlight barbarically!
+2 if he can be lustful towards dragon Elizabeth!
+2 if Elizabeth can be ultra maternal towards the mortals.
+2 if Ren can try to be friendly somehow.
+1 if Elizabeth can fill their minds with why they should help such a maternal figure!
+1 if Elizabeth can think why she doesn't identify as human!
Rolled 17 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

Liz will start tidying the human. Fixing his hair, his clothing. Asking him about his day. Then she'll start going into a long talk about her day.

ren will look on with and grow more and more annoyed.
Shift into our dragotaur form preferably and let out a roar and smash a piece of furniture.

Then use our tail to smack liz's ass. Hard. We need to surprise her.
>NOW LOOK. We came here for business. Thank you for dealing with all the eccentricities. Now I want to work with you. You aren't a bad guy and I understand the want for a news thats actually news so I want to work with you. I may not be as good as the news that's normally made makes me out to be but I'm certainly better than most people normally think. So I want to come to an accord of sorts.

>Liz:They should stop all this and just help us. Surely they wouldn't want to make things so difficult for a mother. Especially for one striving to be the very best like me. Not to mention if my reputation suffers what shall happen to my kids. They may be shunned because of me. I can't let that happen. They deserve the absolute best.

>Well technically I'm not human and being a dragon is a tad bit more fun. Being a human is dull in comparison. So much less grand than being a creature of myth like a dragon. I'd say being a dragon is a step up from being a human.
You can't help but get more, and more annoyed.. Eventually you shift to your dragoatur form and break the nearest object... And
you give Elizabeth a good smack on the ass, surprisingly her. She gives out a bit of a cute squeak, and she looks to see you, and gives you a caring smile.

"Ren, come on... We're in public..."

"Hey, hey... I need to talk, alright?"

"W-well... I suppose."

You talk to them about reaching an accord, but it's rather hard to pay attention when a dragon is rocking them back and forth, giving them a lullaby.

How sweet... But still, come on Elizabeth...

Eventually she stops for you, putting the mortals down. She seems a bit disappointed...

Roll me a 1d20+5 if you can get them to an accord!

+3 if you can describe this accord with them and how it'll work!
+2 if Ren can be lustful and barbaric towards Elizabeth!
+2 if Elizabeth can think why she's practically becoming motherlike towards kobolds and mortals... (+1 if she can enjoy it!)
+2 if Elizabeth can be loving to Ren and talk about how great their relationship is. (+1 if she can treat the mortals like children.)
+3 if Elizabeth can use her MASSIVE assets to convince the mortals.

If everything's done, it'll be an autosuccess!
Rolled 5 + 19 (1d20 + 19)

>The accord.
We don't kick down the door on hist place and he tries to catch us and liz in a more positive light(Because it feels like people forgot about the whole revolt business) and does some personal interviews with us sometimes to clarify things if we can make the time.

Fondle her with both our arms.
We 'could' move our tail into her underwear like we did at the cake shop. Maybe she'll blush again.

>Maybe it's because I'm finally coming into my maternal nature fully. So when I sees smaller and weaker races I get the urge to coddle them it's nice honestly. It's so relaxing to take care of someone.

Pull the mortal into another crushing chest hug. Release him. Then pat him on the head then start fixing his shirt.
>"Just so cute! you little mortals."

Nuzzle up into ren's side
>Have you ever stopped to think how wonderful we are together? In a sense we build on each other. I just feel so relaxed around you and so happy in a sense. You bring out parts of me I never knew I had before. Thank you love. Thank you. It's been a chaotic ride but it was worth it. All of it.
You of course, can't help but fondle the large dragon breasts above you, and slip your tail right to her privates... Too bad her underwear technically is absorbed in her dragon form.

Elizabeth blushes and chuckles nervously in her dragon form, which does sound rather cute, She then of course, nuzzles up to you.

"You know Ren, have you ever stopped to think how wonderful we are together? In a sense, we build on each other... I just can't help but feel relaxed around you, and so happy. You bring out parts of me I never knew I had before... So thank you, Ren. It's been a wild ride but I think it was worth it."

She gives you a kiss again, and can't help but hug you and the mortal up against the Fleet...

"Oh, you little mortals! So cute!" She exclaims, and pats them on the head. The man seems a bit embarrassed, and you decide to mention the accord to him...

He seems willing to listen, as Elizabeth coddles everyone, though he is curious about a few things...

Firstly, he mentions that he would rather not change up his content, as "people need to know this" and that his content is the primary reason people enjoy his newspaper...

Do you want him to change up his content at all?

>Yes! He's a bit too extreme in finding articles that portray you in a negative light!
>No, he's just fine...
>He's fine... But mention that he could "try to make you and Elizabeth" look much better.
>...Wait for Elizabeth to coddle him further. He might be more willing to talk.
>Try to boost his opinion of you?
>Try to boost his opinion of you?
>Write-in: You have to understand, some of what you've been writing and printing could be encouraging the people upset the balance of the state. Do I do things perfectly? God knows I've made mistakes. Every leader makes mistakes. The important thing is, I do my best to learn from them. I want to make Sweden a wonderful place to live, and work, and visit, and raise a family. I think I'm finally making progress on that front. But you have to understand, I must protect my nation. I cannot allow you to advocate for open revolt. Can we at least agree that open revolt is a bad thing to be printing in your paper?

Let them have the one 'secret underground newspaper that tells it like is, man!', but make sure that the content stops well short of advocating for open, armed uprisings.
"You have to understand, some of what you've been writing and printing could be encouraging the people and upset the balance of the state... Do I do things perfectly? God knows I've made mistakes. Every leader has... Now, the important thing is, I do my best to learn from them. I want to make Sweden a wonderful place to live, and work, and visit, and raise a famil-'

Elizabeth hugs you at this.

"-milies. I think I'm making progress on that front. But you have to understand, I have to protect my nation... I simply cannot allow you to advocate for open revolt."

"You think I'm advocating for open revolt?" He seems a bit confused.

"Well... Let's just agree that open revolt is a bad thing to be printing in your papers?"

"Of course. I don't want a revolt... Now, would I like to see some things change? I won't lie, I would. But open revolt? I remember how that went in Russia..."

"Ah, very good..."

You decide to boost his opinion of you, to maybe allow for further control or demands. And better PR.

Roll me a 1d20+5 anons.

+3 if you can be sincere and vent a little bit about how hard it is to rule, and how you genuinely want the best for the Swedish people. (+2 if you can also vent a bit about how people think your just naturally evil for being a dragon! +1 if you can even stress out about how people even in Sweden think your a brutal monster, and how you aren't.)
+2 if Elizabeth can be extremely maternal to the mortals. (+1 f it's supremely maternal. +1 if Elizabeth can daww over the cute little humans, and come up with self-justification why she's being so maternal.)
+2 if Elizabeth can also be loving towards Ren as he rants and try to calm him.
+1 if Ren can be a bit lustful-loving towards Elizabeth.

If everything's done, autosucess!
Rolled 12 + 18 (1d20 + 18)

>"It's just...no matter what I try to do, if I make one one person happy, I end up pissing off 3 more! I try to make things better for the minority races, the werewolves, the minotaurs, the dwarves, and now all the humans think I'm out to replace them, or worse, they think that I assume they're genetically inferior and am trying to breed them out! I'm not! But I also can't let the humans start burning down their homes in fear, or refusing to hire them, because then I'll have a bunch of disenfranchised people out on the streets making trouble and reinforcing negative stereotypes because there's nothing for them to lose by doing so. And people think that I'm just naturally an evil beast! Ok sure, maybe the books and the movies did a real effective smear campaign about dragons as damsel-stealing monsters, but you can't judge a dragon by his scales! I've done a lot of good for the people under my care, but nobody notices because all I was, at the start of it all, was some weapon reserved for exclusive use by the King of Sweden, and that first impression, never really left. I'm not a brutal monster. I'm not an inhuman beast incapable of empathy. If you cut me, I bleed the same red as the rest of you. I have feelings, too."
>"Oh Ren, I never knew...oh these poor dears, they're just afraid because you're so much bigger than them! They just need to be shown the right way, is all. And it's all going to be alright, sweetie. Good things come in time, you know, and you've got lots of time!"
>Liz cuddles the man, and starts to gentle groom his hair. "So adorable, but you're never going to find a suitable lady if you don't keep your hair straight, young man! Hm, and maybe a shirt that's a little less threadbare, some nice shoes to keep the cold and the yuck out, that's the ticket! Aww, I bet you'd look just dashing in green and white! Oh come now, I just want you to have a big family and be as happy as me!"
>"You're right, Liz, but...it wounds me to see you and our children insulted, just like it would wound any loving husband and father. I need to defend your honor, as a lady, as the Queen of England, and as my wife. And as the mother of my many, many children, both current and future." Ren gives Liz a little wink and a kiss.
As you say all of this, Liz cuddles you gently...

"Oh, Ren! I didn't know you were so sensitive to what people think! Is there anything I can do?"

Aw. Elizabeth seems to be worried about you.

[red]"Oh come on Elizabeth, I'm just getting this out of my system..."[/red]

She pats you on the head, and the man seems to try and be as understanding as possible...

Is there anything else you want to do?

>(As Elizabeth) Try to get Ren to be far more relatable to people! Maybe the newsman will put in a good word for Ren! (Increase PR, and maybe slightly embarrass Renexizious.)
>...Try to get the undergroudn newspaper to do something else?
>You know, you should be nice to this man. He's homeless, after all... Maybe give him some money to get an apartment or something.
>Offer the newspaperman a possible possition in your cabinet?
>You should probably get going...
Giving a bump.

>(As Elizabeth) Try to get Ren to be far more relatable to people! Maybe the newsman will put in a good word for Ren! (Increase PR, and maybe slightly embarrass Renexizious.)
Roll me a 1d20+8 as Elizabeth to make your husband relatable!

+3 if Elizabeth can talk about why her adorable and cute husband is amazing!, and make him relatable to most humans!
+2 if she can mention how she loves him and why she fell in love with him! (+2 if the two of them can be extremely loving towards each other.)
+2 if Elizabeth can accidentally embarrass Renexizious and mention cute things he does.
+1 if Elizabeth can be cute as a dragon.
+1 if Elizabeth can be a little maternal throughout all this.

If everything's done and you make dragons extremely relatable, autosuccess!
Also, if you want better PR, mention how dragons aren't monsters and why! Even better PR if Elizabeth and Ren can get emotional about this.
Rolled 10 + 19 (1d20 + 19)

>"Well, for starters, little Rennie here has always loved science! He's really quite good at it, and likes to try to improve things by tinkering around with them. And he's SUCH a loving, wonderful, caring husband and father, why when little Maria's heart got broken by her dastardly ex, Ren was the first to rush to her room to comfort her."
>"At first, even I was a little nervous at meeting him, but he took me flying for our first date, and showed me a new world that I had never seen before. And at that moment, I knew that I could keep seeing things that I had previously thought were mere fairy tales, if only I would stay by his side. And I never once regretted my choice." Liz leans up to kiss Ren again, and nuzzles into the hollow area under his chin.
>"And, my stars, I remember one time, when he was looking for Renexizia, and she thought she'd play a prank and hide behind a, really very thin and rather tall, potted plant. Didn't hide her well at all. But Rennie was so consumed in the search to find her, that he didn't even notice! Just ran around the house, calling for her, while she giggled behind that plant. Sometimes he can't see the children for the houseplants, can you Ren?"
>Liz bounces up and down a little while talking, overjoyed to get to talk about one of her favorite subjects, her husband.
>"Really though, he's not too terribly different, on the inside, from the rest of everyone else. Just like we tell our little ones, you can't judge a book by its cover. And that is a lesson we teach them while they're still so very sweet and young."

>"We're not monsters. We're just different. Monsters would not give of themselves for the betterment of others, they would only take. And through things like scientific breakthroughs, and donations to the arts, and new discoveries efficient manufacturing, we're doing our best to give a wonderful world and a stable future, for all of life's citizens. We don't seek to take land and fortunes, or enrich ourselves at your expense. We want to make everyone fair and equal under the law. We're just trying so hard to make things good, but the speed we're trying to enact change with is getting pushbacks from the citizens, and we just simply don't understand why. It makes it hard to continue onwards, when your contributions and gifts are rejected by the recipients." Liz tears up a little at the end of her speech.
It's good if Liz can be more maternal and embarrass Ren a bit more.
Rolled 10 (1d20)

Going to wait ten more minutes anons.
>"Honestly Ren is a relateable man just like anyone. He drools when he sleeps. I have to clean up after him and he loves his family. Ren dear didn't you let your mother tuck you in once? That was adorable."

She should ruffle ren's and our hair.
and laugh a bit at our expense.
Shit, something just popped up, I'll be back in a hour or so anons.
Rolled 1 (1d20)

Elizabeth puts you in a very positive light to the humans... The humans seem to feel a bit bad for you...

Of course, Elizabeth nuzzles up to you and tosses you on the air, onto her face...

Roll me a 1d20+7 to see how much PR you can gain from the humans feeling bad for you!

+3 if you can guilt trip them a bit...
+2 if Elizabeth can be even more emotional about dragons being precieved as evil. (+1 if she can hold her children as proof that all dragons aren't evil!)
+2 if she can defend her maternal-slaving habits and her husband's raiding.
+2 if Ren and Elizabeth can continue to be loving.
+1 if Ren can mention if he actually wants to be good at heart or fake it.

If everything's done, and you can put Ren's actions in a positive light, the newspaper might portray you in a much better light.
Rolled 10 + 17 (1d20 + 17)

Why is there a roll?
I'm concerned now?

>Honestly why would you do all this? It seems so cruel how you have to torture a mother and father like this. Painting us as evil, why must you do this? Dragons aren't inherently evil why just look at my children. People consider charlemagne a hero. Revenaris is a nice and caring individual. Elisif is a harmless daddies girl.
Cue liz being slightly bitter ren is the elisif's favorite

>And our slaving isn't even that bad. We try to treat our slaves better we really do and for some, especially the drow their lot in life may improve and ren's raiding is blown out of proportion. He doesn't do it nearly as much as people say and he avoids harming his own civilians as much as possible and whenever he does take over a place he always improves upon it. He's a strong leader and a good man.
Ren and liz should cuddle next to each other and look hurt.

>I don't mind being nicer. Honestly I've already started haven't I? I would love to do the odd good deed or help people every so often.
Of course this is only partially true.
We'll still do testing on people. We need it for science.
And of course we'll do raids in the D&D dimension.
Allowing samefagging if Liz can talk more about maternal things she does to her slaves and think of new things to do that are maternal to them, and if they can continue to be loving to each other. And if Ren can be a bit lustful.
Rolled 13 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

Rolled 11 + 17 (1d20 + 17)

>I treat my slaves well I like to think. I read stories to them all the time. Maybe I should make lunch for them. Ren you know what would be a great idea? A movie theater in the house! We could watch it. The slaves would adore it. It would be wonderful.

Press their heads up against each other.

>Aw liz that's a wonderul idea from a wonderful woman. I'll try it okay.

Give her a small peck on the lips.

Good Success!

It takes a bit of convincing, but the newspaper seems thoroughly convinced that your just misunderstood... After that, you bid goodbye and head back home...

Elizabeth heads back to her elven form, and the two of you lovingly cuddle home.

"So... Ren? Are we going to do that "thing" when we get home?"

"Oh, that?"

"Well... Yes..."

She cuddles up to you.

"Please? You said you would. Besides, I've been going out with you to do things for a while..."


>Alright, alright. We can tumble when we get home, ok?
>...Hey, I think we should stop and get some food, alright? I think we'd both like that.
>Could I bring someone? Just curious. (May increase a head's opinion!)
>Sorry, but I'll be busy...

>Alright, alright. We can tumble when we get home, ok?

We did bribe her with sex.
Might as well follow through
"Alright, alright. We can tumble when we get home, ok?"

She cuddles with you tightly, as you begin to drive home...

Roll me a 1d20+8 to give her tumble once you get home!

+3 if you can find appealing forms for the two of you to be in.
+2 if you can be lustful in the car.
+2 if Elizabeth can be excited...
+1 if Gwynevere can show off to you.
Rolled 17 + 16 (1d20 + 16)

Liz in her elf form
Us in our drow form

Start groping her in the car as a warm up.

Liz's internal thoughts
>"This..This has been a long time coming. I can't wait!"

>"Why wait!"

Gwynevere can try to pull ren into a big hug/make out and try to escalate.

Amazing Success!

As soon as you get home, you give Elizabeth an amazing tumble...

The next day comes around sooner then you expect, as you cuddle up to Elizabeth...

You hear a knock on the door.

"Ren, sweetie drake? Are you up yet?"

You recognize that voice... Is that your mom?
She seems to be talking quietly, hoping to not wake you up.

"Aw, your so cute... I don't see why your father won't let me just steal you in the middle of the night, with your adorable little smile... Aw, you wouldn't mind at all..." She says, talking to herself.

You could just sleep in. Or choose to wake up... Your mom is being really sweet after all...


>Sleep in... You can miss Charlemagne's party and do something you want.
>Wake up...
>Wake up, and grab your mom and kiss her.
>...Tell your mom to please not kidnap you in the middle of the night.
>Wake up, and grab your mom and kiss her.
Our mother returns.
For parties.
You wake up, and give your mom a kiss.

"Oh, Ren? Your awake! It's nice to see you... You know, after this little surprise party, I'll read you a book, how about that?"

"Really? Wow, thanks!"

"Yeah... Oh! I almost forget dear..."

She claps, and four slaves come out with an absolutely massive breakfast...

You of course, nom it all down, your mom gives you a pat on the back of the head, and a kiss.

"Now, are you ready dear? I've had it all set up to you... Even if a mangy do- I mean, your friend messed it up."

"Erh... Claw?"

"I'd prefer not to say dear... But if there's some slime here and there, please just tell the slaves to do it, ok?"

She gives you a kiss.

"...Oh, just curious Ren... Did you want me to invite Claw?"


"Well, your best friend. I think... Erh... Are you really sure about inviting him?"


>Please don't. I'd rather he not ruin it.
>...No, I am not sure about it...
>Mom, come on. He's my friend. He can come, alright?
>...Yeah, he might be strange once in a while, but he's not just going to be not invited because of it.
>...Do you not like Claw?
>...Yeah, he might be strange once in a while, but he's not just going to be not invited because of it.
>...Do you not like Claw?
"Do you not like Claw mom?"

"Well, sweetie... Just because I don't like them doesn't mean that you have to dislike them, ok? If they're your friends, I trust your judgement in making them... But yes, I'm afraid I don't like Claw..."

"Well... Can you invite him?"

"Sure thing, baby... Oh, by the way, your brother Richard's back!"


"Yeah... He's just in my room since he's being a bit sour. You know... Since he had to wash your minotaur girlfriend."

"...He washed my girlfriend?"[r/ed]

"Oh, and the children too! I made sure he didn't do anything, if that's what your thinking... Now, do you want my help to get you dressed?"


"Well... I brought you a suit! You'd look good in this!"



You sigh.

"I'll wear it. But I can put it on myself."

She gives you a hug.

"Good! I had Jorund pay... Oh, about three-thousand marks for it... Now, get dressed!"

You begin to get dressed, and wake up Elizabeth...

You are now Karestina, and you are in charge of making this party great for your little grandchild!
So of course, you head to Claw's room, and knock... There's no answer.

But that doesn't stop you from making your grandchild's return great. So you kick the door open, and see... Claw, sleeping in the bed, in his gelatinious wolf form... With somesort of werewolf inside him. The werewolf seems to look up as you enter, and bang on Claw furiously, jiggling him. He burps disgustingly while he sleeps, and turns over, his tail wagging slightly.

"Tickles..." He mutters, giggling a bit.

Now you have to get Claw out of bed.

Roll me a 1d20+6 to try and make Renexzious happy.

+3 if you can either try to be sweet and wake up Claw doing that... Or forcibly drag him out of bed.
+2 if you can comment on the werewolf inside of him.
+2 if you can criticize him for getting slime everywhere yesterday. (+2 if you can intimidate him into not doing that today!)
+2 if you can tell him why he's obliged to come! And what will happen if he doesn't. (+1 if you can scare him.)

Autosuccess if everything happens.
Rolled 20 + 18 (1d20 + 18)

Grab something to bang him awake with.
>Get up you fucking slime monster. The party is today and don't you get slime all over my nice grandson's party. If you have a human form you better use it. And let the poor werewolf out you are terrifying the thing. I swear if you don't get up and behave I will destroy everything you own. Starting with that weird metal box.
Talking about his computer btw
If he doesn't wake up yet start dragging the damn wolf
Karestina is truly best mom.

You sigh, and shake your head. You go and grab a pot, and bang him with it.
He just absorbs and digests it, and burps loudly again... Disgusting!

"Hey! You fucking slime monster! Get up! The party is today, and you better not get slime all over my nice grandson's party! And if you have a human form, you better damn use it! And let that werewolf out! Your terrifying the poor thing!"

Claw whines a bit, and stretches... Nearly getting slime on your dress!

"Claw! If you do not get up this instant and behave, I WILL destroy everything you own! Starting with that... Metal box!"

You point towards the strange box, and Claw whines extremely.

"I-It's only eight..."

"Claw! GET UP NOW!" You yell.

He whines, getting up.

"Fine, fine..."

"AND GET MY GRANDSON A PRESENT! NOW!!!" You yell, intimidating him severely. He nods furiously, terrified, and you slam the broken door shut.

"Oh, and thank you dear. I had a suit made for you. AND DO NOT FUCKING GET SLIME OVER IT. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! MY HUSBAND PAID FOR IT!" You say, through the door, scaring Claw further. He begins to put it on as fast as he can.

How nice of him to get your son a present!

You go back to check on Renexizious, who seems to be getting ready... You pinch him by the ear, and tell him just how adorable he is!

Meanwhile, as Claw.

Oh God oh God oh God oh God...

You think, as you put on the suit as best as you can. You need a present. And fast! And maybe try to make things up to Renexizious's mom... She might piss Renexizious off and he might come here to kick YOUR ass! Y-you better put Ren's name also on the present. Just so his mom doesn't kill you...

Roll me a 1d20+5 for the quality of the present Claw gets since you get a nat 20 in the last roll. This will boost Charlemagne's opinion of Claw and Renexizious by quite a bit.

+3 if you can think about what gift to get him!
+2 if Claw can PANIC about Karestina going to kick his ass and his computer!
+2 if Claw can be a bit pissed he can't use his gelatinious wolf form!
+2 if Claw can try to find a way to keep the werewolf captive.
Oh, also...

+1 if Claw can get out excess gas before going.

By the way, the discord should be up tommorow.
Rolled 8 + 14 (1d20 + 14)


Ren gave claw a dungeon or something right?
Ren should have some place to keep prisoners. Put the wolf in there.

Get charlemagne something for beard maintenance. He needs it...badly.

>No No No No No No Not the computer. I need it. Goddamnit I don't know if ren will make me a new one. Plus I'll lose my saved data also I don't want to get my ass kicked by ren's mom. Pragius would fucking laugh at me and I bet the slaves too.
Claw doesn't have a dungeon anon.

Allowing samefagging if you can either come up with a way to hold the werewolf captive, and if he can complain and be annoyed about not being able to use his comfy gelatinious form, and if he can think how comfy everyone would be!
And if you want the +1 bonus, find a way to get out excess gas.
Rolled 4 + 14 (1d20 + 14)

Well. Ren has a torture chamber doesn't he?
We can strap him in there.

>Man why can't I use my wolf form. This sucks. It's so much more comfortable and I don't have to do all this running on two legs. It's exhausting. Plus I make fun slime for everyone.
Rolled 8 + 14 (1d20 + 14)

>Honestly why does Ren's mom have to be such a killjoy. Why do I even have to go to that stupid party. I just wanted to sleep. Why does this always happen to me. People keep forcing me to go outside even when I don't want to. I can't even use my normal form. I have to be a human to be at the party.

Borderline Success!

You rush off to get Charlemagne something for his beard!

Meanwhile, as Renexizious...

You get dressed with your wife, and all your kids seem to be there... Save Viktor.

Goddamn it. Did he no-

Viktor opens the door, visibly sweating.

"I-I made it! Sorry dad, took me a long flight!"

"Hey, glad you can make it..."

"Y-yeah... Oh, Renexizia was behind me."

You do note that Viktor looks like he's been working out a bit... Huh.
That's when you hear Renexizia land not too far away, and rush in. A few people seem to come in with her, looking a bit terrified, and she holds a lot of diamonds... And boxes.
She seems to look... Quite attractive, in all honesty. You don't know if you should go into details or not, but she looks a bit more like her mother, having bright inspiring white skin, with a cute smile, an adorable giggle... And you think something's grown... Her assets, just a little. Huh.

"Hi dad! I made it! Just in time! I was kinda held up in Germany though, there were some cute guys I just had to look at for a minute! Love you! I gotta get something to eat..."

"Can I come too?" Elslif says...

"Good, good. He might be here in a hour..."

She hands you a few boxes of gifts... And you notice... A bill. In your name.
For what seems to be

Great. Now, it's time for the actual surprise...

Roll me a 1d20-4 to see if you can get in a good position.

+3 if you can find a place to hide in the throne room!
+2 if you can find a loud and cool way to scare him!
+2 if you can hide all your wives somehow!
+3 if you can hide your kids!
+1 if you can break the news that someone snuck into Renexizia's candy stash.
+1 if you can find a way to be loving towards Elslif and Renexizia!

*Agh, cat got me. Autosuccess if you can find a place for everyone, even Claw to hide behind.
Rolled 20 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>Renexizia is interested in boys now.
Good to know.

Hide behind our thrown and cast a thick obscuring mist to hide everyone else.

Rub them both on their heads.
>Aw it's nice to have my princesses here. Though someone may have raided your stash renexizia. Sorry.

Once we have the thick obscuring have everyone circle him and slowly crowd him from all sides culminating in a massive surprise as everyone tries to lift him up
Rolled 6 - 3 (1d20 - 3)

Also, wow. I was really distracted.

She hands you a bill for what seems to be twenty pounds of butter and cheese. Huh.

Critical Success!

You hide behind your throne, and cast a thick, obscuring mist to hide everyone. You of course, rub Elslif and Renexizia on their heads...

"You know, it's so nice to have my little princesses here again. Though someone might of raided your stash Renexizia, sorry."

"Really? Aw..."

Elslif looks a bit down, when you get the signal from your servants that he's coming...

Svana goes out to the middle of the room, as many eyes stare forth...
The door slowly opens to Charlemagne, dressed in what seems to be ill-fitting military officer clothes, and even his half-dragon form seems very... Grizzly. A little hairy, and it seems he has quite a few scars and scabs on his face, and he seems extremely serious, his eyes searching around the room. He sees Svana, and his serious grim look turns a bit into a smile he tries to hide.

The two of them go towards each other, and hug.

"Svana... I've missed you. How's everything?"

"It was tense, but good, Charles."

"You got through it alright?"

"Well... I'm more concerned about you. You look a bit injured."

He coughs heavily a bit to the side. Svana seems a bit worried.

"You feel cold, are you alright?"

"What? I'm fine... I've been like this for a few weeks. I'm just... It's hard to not breath jungle air again."

She hugs up against him, her tail wrapping worriedly around him.

"...Yeah... Don't worry about it. I've missed you."

He picks her up with a massive hug, and the two of them twirl for a bit, before Charlemagne puts her down.

"Hey... So where's everyone?"

"You'll see them in a bit..."

"Well... We're alone, right?"


You go up to surprise him...

Ignore my roll.
Everyone goes towards him at once, a blur of scales and claws...

Charlemagne's breathing gets heavy, and he seems a bit... You don't really know the word... But within an instant, his hand reaches for his holster, taking out a pistol, as he grabs Svana and puts her behind him...

Roll me a 1d20 to see if this situation gets worse.. No more then one.
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>Charlemagne gets nam flashbacks.
If you were wondering, that one earlier was for how he'd react. The recent roll was to see if he could somehow keep it under wraps.

And it seems Charlemagne's 'nam flashbacks have gotten the better of him.
Rolled 8 (1d12)

Ignore my roll.
Rolled 12 (1d20)

Charlemagne takes a large caliber pistol out of his holster, and fires...

Hitting Claw.

Right in the chest.

You hear a "Umph!" as he hits the ground...

Roll me a 1d20 to see if he continues. One roll only.

Also, ignore my roll.
Rolled 16 (1d20)

This isn't pleasant.
Not at all.
He seems to be knocked out of it, as everyone just stands around, quite shocked.

Charlemagne drops the pistol.

"Fuck! Why the hell did you run up on me like that?"

Shit. Now you get to deal with this mess...


>Yell at your son for literally just shooting your best friend!
>...Send your son to his room. Now.
>...This isn't his fault. Hug him.
>...Check on Claw! He just got shot!
>...Check on Claw! He just got shot!
You decide to check on Claw.

He certainly seems injured, with a bullet right in his lungs, and is having difficulty breathing...

"I shouldn't of... Used my human form..." He mutters.

What do anons?

>Necrotic Healing!
>Try to get the bullet out!
>...Maybe if he shifts to his gelatinious form he'll be fine?
>Deal with your son.
>Try to get the bullet out!

>Necrotic Healing!

Time to dust off that PhD we don't have
Roll me a 1d20+4 to try and get the bullet out!

+3 if you can find a way to get Claw to stop squirming!
+1 if you can tell Claw that everything will be fine!
+1 if you can think about whether to punish your son or to calm him down. (+1 if Elizabeth can be maternal and calm Svana and Charlemagne down.)
Rolled 8 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

Release drowsy pheremones to calm him down.

>Claw relax. I might as well be a doctor. Just keep calm and let me go to work.
We should calm him down.
And take his gun. No loaded guns in the palace unless you are security personnel.

Liz will huug charlemagne and Svana.
>"Aw charlemagne my baby bow it's okay. Mother's here. No need to be so frightened just put down the weapon and let's try to have a fun time with less shooting preferably."
Allowing samefagging if Claw can lamenate about the one time he's in his human form and not in his gelatinious form. Also if Elizabeth can be worried and even more maternal.
Rolled 15 + 10 (1d20 + 10)

>The ONE time I use my human form and I get shot. Don't touch my human form in forever and I'm fine. Suddenly I use it and I get a nice bullet to the lung. I'm not even outside. I LITERALLY GOT SHOT IN THE HOUSE I LIVE IN. WHY. JUST WHY. THIS IS AUTISTIC.

pull charlemagne into a crushing hug
>Charlemagne dear maybe next time don't bring a pistol to a party? Seems hardly appropriate. Honestly you worried me. I didn't want your party to turn into a warzone. You could have ruined your own party like that, and that wouldn't be fun would it?"

Being claw is suffering.

Good Success!

You dig the bullet out, and Claw winces in pain as you begin to use necrotic healing...

Roll me a 1d20+6 anon for healing.

+2 if you can try to stay positive and think about how to keep this party going. Even if Claw got shot.
+2 if Claw can continue to laminate about not being in his gelatinious form. (+1 if he can just want to go back to bed, and reabsorb his werewolf friend, and cuddle with him. +1 if he can have a questionable sexuality.)
+1 if Elizabeth can consider being maternal towards Claw or not...
+1 if Renexizia and Elslif can try to help!
Rolled 1 + 14 (1d20 + 14)

We should probably roll out the cake.
Like right now.

Elisif can cheer on ren for moral support.
Renexizia knows necrotic healing iirc so she can help.

Liz should leave claw alone because attempts to be maternal to him will be weird and awkward.

>Why do I even have to be here in my human form. I just want to go back to my bed and have my nice werewolf friend inside me. Is that too much to ask? A nice day in bed?
We should keep claw out of other parties.
I don't think he'd like them.
Use barbaric?

Roll me a 1d20 anon.

+3 if Renexizious can be barbaric in trying to keep his friend together. (+2 if he can get emotional and angry over this!)
+2 if he can get angry towards Charlemagne! (+1 if Elizabeth can calm him down and be sweet and loving.)
Rolled 18 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

Smack the claw around to make sure he stays awake.
>FUCKING DAMNIT WHAT IS THIS SHIT. Now my own friend is shot in my house. Fucking damnit charlemagne why the hell do you keep a fully loaded pistol on you when you're coming home. What the fuck.

>Ren dear please calm down. Yelling won't fix anything so tone it down a smidge. Let's just do what we can to fix everything and maybe we can go back to a nice party. This was supposed to be a day of celebration.

At least it was only one person.

Great Success!

You smack Claw around a bit, and heal him up... Elizabeth does however, put a hand on your shoulder and calms you down, as you heal Claw.

"Ow..." He says, as he pokes his now tender flesh.

"Don't touch it you fucking idiot, it'll reopen or something."

"Alright, alright... Geez... I got shot just for leaving my fucking room."

"Yeah, at least you aren't dead."

You begin to stand up, and you see Charlemagne sort of sulking in the corner, and almost everyone else enjoying some cake. Julius seems to naturally be in the most dark corner in the most "I'm a vampire, rawr" clothes possible. He also seems to be drinking wine. Huh.

Elizabeth of course, goes up to Charlemagne as Claw kinda just lays on the ground.

"So uh... Can I get up?"


"Wow, thanks. Really. Next time I get shot I'll ask you."

"Really? Fine, you can stand up."

He begins to stand up, and puts his hand over his chest, and mutter in a bit of pain.

"Ow, ow, ow... Can you help me back to my room? And uh, bring some cake?"


"My chest feels terrible..." He whines.


>...Come on then Claw. I'll help you back. No cake though.
>..Alright, alright... I'll also bring some cake.
>...Hang on. Just sit down or something, I got to talk to my son.
>...Come on Claw. Just hang out, alright?
>...Hang on. Just sit down or something, I got to talk to my son.
>...Come on Claw. Just hang out, alright?
>Write-In: You can sit down in the corner, just stick around for like, half an hour or so, see if you feel better. If you don't, I'll take you back to your room.
"Hey, come on. Just sit in a corner for a while. You can head back in like, half an hour if you still don't feel good."

"Yeah... Alright."

You help him into a corner whileyou think about what to say to your son.


> Just get some food... It was a mistake.
> Try to be an understanding father!
> Punish your son
> Write In!
> Try to be an understanding father!
>Write-In: Charlemagne, can we talk? In private? Svana, you can come if you wish, but Charlemagne and I have things we need to discuss.
Anything you want to say in private or just reassure him?
Mostly try to get him to stop hating us. He's our heir, and we should be able to depend on him. He's kind of gotten the short end of some sticks from us lately, like shipping him off to Vietnam, and we should set things right again.
You ask Charlemagne to come with you into the back, with Svana if she wants to come into the back...

She comes along also, and Charlemagne follows.

"What's this about, dad?"

"I just wanted to set some things right, Charlemagne. "

"What do you mean?"


> I just wanted to apologize for the amount of times I've sent you into war...
> Well... I just wanted to apologize for not being the best dad I couldn't..."
> Charlemagne... Are you sure you want to be heir?
> Charlemagne... I'm curious. Did you ever want to be a dragon?
> Write in
*apologize for not being the best dad you could be.
Back in an hour
> Well... I just wanted to apologize for not being the best dad I couldn't..."
> I just wanted to apologize for the amount of times I've sent you into war...

We should ask him why he wants to be the heir.

> I just wanted to apologize for the amount of times I've sent you into war...
> Charlemagne... Are you sure you want to be heir? I ask this, not because I want to replace you, but because I want to be sure that this is what you actually want in life, and not because you feel obligated to accept it.
> Charlemagne... I'm curious. Did you ever want to be a dragon?

>Write-In: Charlemagne, I wanted to apologize to you. There's a lot of bad blood between us, and I want to clear it out. You are my heir, my right hand, and I need to be sure that we both trust each other. I know that you disagree with a good number of my decisions over the past year, starting with my additional wives and my treatment of the office of the Papacy.

You will be no doubt glad to hear that I have given the Papacy back to Rome, who gave it to a Spaniard. Over the course of the last twelve or eighteen months, I've come to learn a number of things about myself, the world we live in, and the dimensions that we are linked to. And as such, I cannot tie myself to one dogma when I may need to seek the teachings of others to solve problems as they come along. But for the most part, I've washed my claws of being worshiped and seeking worship. I hope that you can accept that I've become primarily gnostically neutral.

You also dislike my additional wives, or rather, the fact that I have taken additional wives. The story with that one with a bit more involved, but the long and short of it is, I've grown additional heads as I've aged. These heads have their own distinct and unique personalities, and one of them wanted a wife of its own when it saw how wonderful it was to be with Elizabeth. This...kicked off a bit of competition between us, and before I knew it, I had a second wife, in addition to my head's wife, Chrysoula. Whether or not it went too far is a matter of personal opinion, but know this. I plan to take no further wives, but neither can I cast out the women whose only mistake lay in trusting me when I had a moment of weakness. I will take care of them, as a husband should, until the day they die or leave me. It's the only right and honorable thing to do.

What say you, my son?
By the way if I go if you have the chance remember to look into that whole.
"People OD'ing on Half dragon mutagens." I think it's causing mental instability in the people doing it.
Will do
[red]"So... Charlemagne? I'm curious. Why do you want to be heir? Now, I'm not asking because I want to replace you, but because I want to be sure this is what you want in life, and not because you feel obligated to accept it..."

"Dad, that's a hard question..."

"Off the top of your head then, please."

He ponders for a minute.

"Well... It's my duty, I guess. That's what I was raised to do."

"Do you honestly want to be heir?"

He takes a breath.

"That's a... Difficult question to answer. I do... I'm just... Well..."

"Well what?"

"It's the only reason I have any relevance to the public, dad. It's... Well... I don't know a life besides this one. I couldn't say genuinely if I would enjoy it or not."

"I see... Well, I'm sorry about the amount of times I've sent you into war, Charlemagne. I wanted to apologize for not being a better da-"

He raises a hand up, silencing you.

"I'm not here to listen to apologies. I thank you for the gesture, but I'm not interested unless you wanted to do something about it."

It seems your son is a man of action rather than words.

"Well... Can I at least clear out the bad blood? Your my heir, Charlemagne. My right hand! And I need to be sure we trust each other... I know you disagree with a good number of my decisions over the past year, starting with the... Additional wives, and the treatment of the office of the papacy."

"I know, and I heard already. Thank you for giving the papacy back to Rome, dad." He gives a bit of a smile, underneath his serious personality.

+20 Opinion from Charlemagne!

"Well... Can I at least talk about my wives?"

You tell him about the situation and how you plan to take no more.

"I see... Well, I'll be there to remind you then. I've scarcely met them, and I dislike the idea of my mother being equal with two others."

"I know, I know..."

"...And I'm sorry about shooting your friend. I erh... I thought it was an ambush by the globalist lizard jews or something."

"Really?" You say, a bit confused.

"...What? They have eyes everywhere... Anyways, is my room the way I left it?"


"...Is the pictures of the correlated dealings of British Parliament with jewish communist sympathizers still up?"

"Erh... Yes?"

"Good... Good. I need to relax. Anyways... I uh... Also, I was wondering..."

"What is it?"

"Well... I've been thinking... I might want to get an education from the Royal Military Academy of Sandhurst... I was curious if you could put in a good word for me?"


"It's a... Famous military school in England... I mean, I heard West Point was better, but I'm not entirely sure they'd accept me. I'm not American after all."



>Charlemagne, there's more to being a heir then war... You should look at something besides military school.
>...Listen, you shouldn't take military school. Your mother would kill me and coddle you for all eternity. Besides, your skills need improving elsewhere...
>...I can get you a recommendation or two.

>Write-In: I'm certain that your mother and I can get you a recommendation or two, but there is more to being heir than perfecting the arts of war. You should stay here at home for a little while, and learn about how to rule, and the decisions involved in it. Remember, Charlemagne, time has less meaning for you than for others. You can afford to stay here for a little while.

And I have one more question for you. Have you ever wanted to be a full dragon?
[red]"I'm certain that your mother and I can get you a recommendation or two... But really, Charlemagne. There's more to being heir than perfecting the arts of war. You should stay here at home for a while, and learn how to rule, and the decisions involved in it... Just remember that time has less meaning for you then others. You can afford to stay here a while, ok?"

"...I've been staying here for years."

"Yes, well... One question. Did you ever want to be a full dragon?"

"Well, I wouldn't say no... Why are you asking?" You can tell he's slightly hiding excitement.


>Well.. I certainly have enough money to turn you into one...
>Hey, I was curious for later...
>I just think my heir should be a dragon. Not a half-dragon... No offense.
>...You'll love it, Charlemagne. Trust me on it.

>Write-In: "It'll take some adjustments to get the formula customized and correct for you, but I have the money to do it now, if you wish. It'll take a bit of time to get used to your new body, and the side effects during the transformation can be harsh, but...I think you'd love it. What do you say?"
You ask your son if he wants to get mutated...

He seems to be a bit exciteded, but asks you what the side effects are...

Treasury: 20$ Million)

>Tell him the side effects?
>...Point towards Elizabeth. She's a good example of side effects.
>Tell him you'll make a custom mutagen.
>We can go do it now. (Cost: 12$ Million)

>...Point towards Elizabeth. She's a good example of side effects.
>Tell him the side effects?
>Tell him you'll make a custom mutagen.
>Write-In: Is there anything special that you'd like me to add in, if I can?

We can still use the initial research from making the first one as a base so we're not starting over from solid scratch, right?
I'd assume so. Though it would be rather difficult.

You point towards Elizabeth.

"She's a good example. Now, if you want, I can make it custom... Is there anything special you'd like me to add in, if I can?"

"I erh... I don't know."

Svana seems a bit worried.

"...Charles, I don't know... I like you the way you are."

She wraps slightly around him, worriedly.

"Hey, come on Svana. You've known me for three years. I can handle a little bit of a change... Erh, it'll have shapeshifting, right?"

"Yeah, it will."

"Yeah... Hey uh... Is it just me or does mom look and... Kind of feel a bit different? You know... A lot more motherly then how I remember."



'Well... Her uh... Assets grew. A lot."

"Dad, why the hell..."

"Hey! I didn't do it."

He sighs.

"...Shit taste in my opinion... Waists are better." You hear him mutter under his breath, hiding it with a cough.

"Huh?" You say, trying to be oblivious.

"Nothing, nothing. I'm just a little sick."

That's what you thought.

Svana seems happy to see him, and you see her slightly constrict your son. Only slightly. As his face turns red and he gasps for oxygen.

"Ren, I can't help but be so happy that you got Charlemagne back... God bless us all!"

She gives Charlemagne a kiss, and extends to give you a nice friendly hug.

"Oh... Also... Erh... I'm sorry about earlier... You know. With the yelling and debates... I've just been worried sick about Charles... And my parents health, not to mention a few other things. It's... It's been a hard few months. But thank you, Really!"

She gives you a kiss as Charlemagne struggles for air... She notices, and relaxes a bit.

Svana's opinion of you has increased by +25!

"Sorry, sorry! I erh... I wasn't exactly paying attention."

Charlemagne drops to the floor, getting as much air as he can.

"I'm used to it. I missed you too, Svana."

"Yeah... Did you want to go out? We can bring your father and mother. I got a lot of discounts to Yuan Noodles."

"Yuan Noodles? Uh... What's that?" He says, a bit confused.

"Oh my God! You need to go, now!"

She begins to choke and constrict around him, as she begins to talk to him about how amazing their noodles and food is.
You can't help but chuckle.

"Are the two of you done?"

Svana relaxes, sparing your son again.

"Yeah... Did you want to go with us? It's the least we could do!"

"Y-yeah..." Your son, chokes out, with a clearly happy smile on his face, replacing his seriousiness from earlier.


>...Well, sure. I think it would be fun to go out with you and Charlemagne.
>...Svana, you should probably be more aware of when you choke my son, alright?
>...Hey, why don't we go somewhere else?
>...Eh... We have a cake here. Why don't we have a bit of it?
>...You know, why don't we go to the Colosseum? It's a bit of a flight though...

>Well, sure. I think it would be fun to go out with you and Charlemagne.
[red]"Well, sure. I think it would be fun to go out with you and Charlemagne."[/red]

"Great... Oh, are you also bringing your wife? Just curious."

"Y-yeah..." Charlemagne groans out a bit weakly, coughing...


>Yeah. Bring Elizabeth as well!
>Why don't I show you how nice my other wives can be? You should get used to them...
>Eh... I'd rather just go solo. With you guys.
>Yeah. Bring Elizabeth as well!
You go and get Elizabeth to come along, and you head back to the party...

Elslif seems determined to "get the biggest slice ever" and steals a knife, and takes a large chunk out. However, Renexizia comes in for the intercept and mentions a "tax" on her cake for being "the youngest" and she steals most of it. Elslif however, gives Elizabeth most adorable eyes she can muster, and Elizabeth gives her a large slice of cake... Meanwhile, Julius tries his best to look "edgy" and "cool", and you suspect that while no one's looking he takes a small slice of cake, and tries his hand at socializing. Tries, at least.

Chrysoula and Frankizka sit together with moderate sized slices of cake, and after a minute finish it normally... Huh. Oh, and finally Odah seems to be bored and runs around chasing Elslif, while Michael eats a fair sum of cake...
Everything seems to be going good. Huh...

"Daaaaaaaad!" You hear, from Elslif, jumping up and down to get your attention.

"Elslif, what did you want?"

"Did'ya wanna make snow dragons? Come on! Pleeeeeeeassseeee? Odah's getting all the good snow!"

She tugs at your pants.

"Come onnn!! I wanna play with you daddy!"

What do?

>...Come on. Why don't you get Renexizia to play with you?
>Elizabeth can hang out with you, you know.
>...You know what? Sure. I'll do it.
>...Pat her on the head.

>...Pat her on the head.
>...Come on. Why don't you get Renexizia to play with you?

Probably not a good idea to keep giving her the brush off, but we did already promise our time to the star of the party.
You give her a pat on the head.

"Come on. Why don't you get Renexizia to play with you."

She growls a bit.

"She ate all my cake!"

"...Come on. Didn't you eat her entire stash or something?"

"Hey! Daaad! You said you wouldn't say anything!"

"Never said I Wouldn't give you shit for it. Now, why don't you run along?"

"Can I at least play with the kobolds? Come on..."

"Why do you need me?"

"Well... I just wanna see you! Come on! Let's do something! SOMETHING FUN!!!" She jumps up and down, hyperly.




>...Fine. You can go play with the kobolds...
>...I'll play with you when I get back, alright?
>...Just play with your sister. Who cares if she ate your slice of the cake?
>...Listen. I'll get you a nice sized cake JUST for you if you play with your sister!
>(Shrewd Minded): Why don't you play with Chrysoula? She can be a lotta fun, you know!

>(Shrewd Minded): Why don't you play with Chrysoula? She can be a lotta fun, you know!
"Come on. Just play with Chrysoula. She can be a lotta fun you know!"

Her eyes widen at that realization.

"That's right! Thanks dad!"

"No problem princess."

She runs off and jumps into Chrysoula's lap. Chrysoula certainly seems startled, and it seems to be her problem now...

Soon the party comes to an end, and you go out with Svana and Charlemagne... And try to bring Elizabeth along. She agrees, luckily.

You eventually pull up to Yuan Noodles...

Roll me a 1d20+5 for how well this goes.

+2 if Elizabeth can be extremely maternal in the car to Charlemagne, fuss and worry over him and even be extremely maternal to Svana! (+1 if Elizabeth can mention Charlemagne's many new siblings, and how cute they are!)
+2 if Elizabeth and Ren can be really loving towards each other!
+2 if Chrysoula and Elslif can get up to some hijinks.
+1 if Ren can be nice to Charlemagne and mention how proud he is.
+1 if Ren can mention how delicious Yuan Noodles... You've went here before and loved it.
Rolled 5 + 14 (1d20 + 14)


>"Oh Charlemagne, it's so GOOD to have my little baby boy back from that terrible, nasty jungle! Are you alright? You didn't get mosquito bites while you were there, did you? I've heard those mosquitoes can have some awful diseases they pass around. Did you have fun while you were there? Were the other soldiers nice to you, darling? Oh come and give your mommy a hug, she's missed you SOOOO much! Svana, you get in on this too, my arms are big enough to hug you both! There, wasn't that lovely? And Charlemagne, I almost forgot, I can't wait to introduce you to all your new brothers and sisters! They're so cute, I just know you'll love them!"
>"Honey, honey, let the poor boy breathe. He just got back from a warzone, you know." Ren leans over to give Liz a kiss and pull her onto his lap, holding her hands in his own. "Now, why don't we tell him a bit more about his new siblings, ok?" Liz smiles and kisses him back, and goes to happily chattering away about the new children.
>"Chrysoula, Chrysoula, let's go make snow-dragons! And snow-mino...mina...cow people! And then piggy-back rides! You're super strong, so you can carry me around all day! And then a break, for cake, and then...um..."
Chrysoula: "Um... I'm a minotaur, sweety. And sure, that sounds like a lot of fun, which do you want to do first?"
>"Charlemagne, I hope that you enjoyed seeing everyone at your welcome party. Viktor even flew in to say hello. You know, I bet that if you wanted to go to West Point, he could pull some strings and make it happen. Although I'd prefer you to go to the one in England, keeps you closer to home. I'm proud of you for taking this seriously, though. Initiative is very important."
>"Also, Svana is right, you're in for a treat. I went here once before with some Chrysoula and some friends from the university, the food is wonderful, spicy but not throat-burningly so, I loved it."
Allowing samefagging for hijinks that Chrysoula and Elslif.
Rolled 15 + 14 (1d20 + 14)

>"And then and then and then after the cake, we can get some popcorn and candy canes and watch my favorite show on TV, and then afterwards play pretend that we ARE my favorite show on TV!"
Chrysoula: "And what's your favorite show on TV, honey?"
Elslif: "Um...I forget the name, but it's got lots of action, and robots, and stuff falling down! You know what, forget about the TV, we'll go outside and make stuff out of snow and knock it down! That'll be even funner!"
Elizabeth gives a hug to Svana and Charlemagne, and you pull up to Yuan Noodles.

You head inside, and relax inside eating some noodles...

"So... Mom? How are you doing?"

"Oh, good sweetie! How about you?"

"Your just... Well... Extremely... Motherly?" He says, unsure of what to say.

"Oh, is this strange?"

"Y-you uh, you cut my steak for me. And are trying to feed me noodles."

"What, do you not like that?"

Svana giggles a little, as Charlemagne blushes...


>Come on Elizabeth, calm down a bit...
>Come on, it's your mom Charlemagne...

>Come on Elizabeth, calm down a bit...
>Write-In: Laugh a little. It's kind of cute, you have to admit.
>Come on Elizabeth, calm down a bit...
for some reason if we ever step down as king and let charlemagne take over we'll probably end up fucking off to some other dimension with our wives to set up another empire.
Wait a damn second.
Charlemagne is only a year or two younger than us.

Even if we made him a dragon he wouldn't really get to rule that long. At best he'd get a year or two to rule in his final years. His best hope for ruling is if we step down or bite the dust.

And won't he out live svana if he becomes a dragon?
"Come on Elizabeth. Calm down a bit..."

You say, after your doing laughing from the cuteness of this situation.

"Why do people get so defensive when I try to do the right thing? Such as feed them food..."

"Mom, I can use my hands and cut my steak. I have claws anyways..."

"Charlemagne, don't eat with your claws! Use a fork and knife... What happened to the manners I taught you?" Elizabeth says, a little hurt.

"Mom... I don't exactly have access to napkins in Vietnam."

"Bah. That should be a measurement of civilization. If you can wipe your hands off on napkins, then it's civilized... I don't see why natives get so annoyed at the idea of introducing civilization into their villages..."


"Oh, sorry dear. Just thinking about England again, you know the deal..."


"Oh! Speaking of home, you'll love your new bed..."

"New bed?"

"Oh, well, the old one was well... Old. So I ordered a new bed from California."

"Thanks, I guess..."

"No problem dear! Oh, the two of you are so cute together, I could die just hugging you." She says, sweetly.

You notice Svana glances downward.

"Erh... Miss Windsor?" Svana says, to Elizabeth...

"Oh, yes dear?"

"Erh... I thought your br... Nevermind... Let's just talk about something else." She says, after a brief, envious look downward towards your wife's assets.
Huh. Even she's a bit envious.

"So... What have you been doing Svana? While I was in Vietnam?"

"Oh, me? I was studying Plato. A very interesting book."

"Ah... Miss constricting me?"

"What? I don't constrict you. On purpose."

"Really? So why can't I feel my leg?"

"Huh?" She seems a bit startled.

"Thanks for letting go... Really, do you do this on purpose or do you not know? I feel like you do know... It's really cute. Save when your choking me out."

"I don't know what your talking about... I don't constrict you on purpose."

"So why do I wake up with you wrapped around me?"

"Erh... I mean, it's cold in there..."

"...I'm cold too, in case you don't know."


"So you DO constrict me on purpose, eh?" He gives a smile.

"...The two of you should stop this constricting business... What if there's a fire or something?" Elizabeth says.

"Well.... I erh... Well, you always suck on my thumb while we sleep."

"I don't..." He mutters under his breath, a little embarrased. As in a lot.

Elizabeth seems to daww over this however.

"Oh my God, that's adorable... You do it in your sleep?"

"I do NOT do that."

"Well, unless you take back that comment about me constricting around you..."

What do?

>Listen to whatever embarrasing stuff they say about each other. It should be cute...
>...Intervene on behalf of Charlemagne.
>Embarrass your son further with Svana.
>...Just curious... Have the two of you... Gone at it?

>Listen to whatever embarrasing stuff they say about each other. It should be cute...
Shit, forgot two answers...

>(Very Maternal, as Elizabeth) Hug both of them so they stop arguing... Both of them are family! Even the strange snake lady. (May make Elizabeth a bit more open to other races.)
>Ignore all of this and just talk to your headmates.
>>(Very Maternal, as Elizabeth) Hug both of them so they stop arguing... Both of them are family! Even the strange snake lady. (May make Elizabeth a bit more open to other races.)

Tac this on to my other choice
You decide to listen, while Elizabeth gets upset in her half-dragon form.

Roll me a 1d20+5 anon to make Elizabeth a bit more open to other races.

+3 if Elizabeth can be supremely maternal to Charlemagne and Svana. (+2 if she can coddle them both extremely and treat them like children! +1 if she can come up with a way to move the table as she gets up...)
+2 if Elizabeth can justify being maternal to Svana... She's a strange snake lady after all. (+1 if she can think about how adorable those cute little kobolds are, especially if they served her and Ren, and maybe how she should treat other races a bit better. +1 if she can think about maternal actions she could do to kobolds working for her and Ren...)
+1 if Elizabeth can justify having a minotaur for a friend and why other races aren't too bad... (+1 if she can come up with maternal things to maybe do to minotaurs in the far future.)
Rolled 12 + 15 (1d20 + 15)

{ull them both to her and start rubbing their heads and cooing.
>"Aww my adorable little drakes. All of you are so cute. I swear why didn't I do all of this sooner."
Start trying to feed them both.
>"I should have done more stuff like this with you when you were little.

Well Svana is our son's wife so she is basically our step daughter so she's our daughter. so we can coddle her.

And the kobolds are like little baby pseudo dragons. With their stubby legs and short tails it'd be so cute to have them as servants. Maybe we should treat the other races better. It's not like they ever did anything wrong by us and any kid from any race is still a kid and to be treated as such.

She could pat them on the head. Read them stories Tuck them in and put them to sleep.

Chrysoula is a nice girl and a innocent soul. Plus the other races can be faithful servants too. Give them a shot.
Allowing samefagging if Elizabeth can be extremely maternal and treat them like children, and maybe think of maternal things to do to minotaurs in the far future.
Rolled 11 + 16 (1d20 + 16)

Pull Charlemagne and Svana close to them and start tickling them into submission. And blow raspberries on them.

We could do a minotaurs hair. Cook for them. Take them out to forest places on trips. It'd be nice.
Rolled 16 + 16 (1d20 + 16)

Then once we have him down pinch their cheeks with a ruthless maternal love and make funny faces at them.
Sorry about taking so long. I just had to go through a family event. These maternal write ins actually make me pretty happy and sad at the same time now.


Amazing Success!

You pull both Svana and Charlemagne over, rubbing their heads as you give a crushing hug...

"Aw, my little adorable drakes... All of you are so cute! I swear, why didn't I do this sooner?"

You hold both of them with one hand, and grab a fork to feed them their food.

"You know, I should of done more stuff like this when you werew little..."

You pat them all on the head, and eventually start tickling them after both try to get out... You even blow rasberries on them, and pinch their cute little cheeks...

Aw... She struggles so cutely.

"I-I'm not your daughter! S-stop it!" She says, while laughing... Aw, she's so ticklish.


Renexizious can't help but laugh, as you hug even tighter...


>She doesn't think your her new mom? Or mom-in-law? Well, you'd still prefer to be called mom... (Try to increase Svana's opinion of Elizabeth and Renexizious. +1 from Elizabeth's maternal trait.)
>...Aw... Just hug them for a minute..
>Let them go, you've had enough...

>She doesn't think your her new mom? Or mom-in-law? Well, you'd still prefer to be called mom... (Try to increase Svana's opinion of Elizabeth and Renexizious. +1 from Elizabeth's maternal trait.)
Roll me a 1d20+6 to become the new "mom" of Svana.

+3 if you can be embarrassingly maternal towards Svana and Charlemagne. (+1 if you can get Ren in on this! As in, be maternal and loving towards him too! +1 if you can do a very detailed or many maternal things!)
+2 if Elizabeth can insist on being called "mom" by Svana. (+2 if she can argue why!)
+1 if Elizabeth can mention how adorable and cute and precious she is.
+1 if Elizabeth can mention how great a large and happy family is... (+1 if she can mention having MANY more children to Charlemagne.)
Rolled 2 + 18 (1d20 + 18)

Start tickling her. As time goes on keep upping the intensity and while we do so say. Hell maybe have ren help by holding down and tickling charlemagne.
Fucking teamwork.
>"Aww who's the best mother you've ever You know you think I'm a great mother. Why wouldn't you want to call me mom and if you don't stop my oh so precious adorable little daughter I'll keep tickling you until you squeal. Come on you know you want to. A big happy family that you could be a part.
and look at charlemagne.
>"With many more siblings for you to see in the future as well."
Allowing samefagging if you can get even more maternal, and continue to argue why she should call you mom and just how happy you'd be if she did...
Rolled 7 + 18 (1d20 + 18)

Stop tickling her after a while.
No need to kill her.

Then start pinching her cheeks.
>Aw my dear why don't you just say it. I'd love to hear it if you called me mom just once. Aren't you married to my son? I'm sure that makes me your mother. We're all family now aren't we. It's a bit of a shame you won't say it.

Pout a bit.
Gotta get that guilt flowing.
Rolled 17 + 18 (1d20 + 18)

>Please? say it for me? Don't you consider me family? It'd be awful rude to just say you won't.

Hug her and hold her in our embrace.
Rock back and forth with her a bit and rub/pat her head.
If you can be even more motherly to her and mention how nice it would be to have a giant dragon as a mom, then her opinion will go up even more.
Stop pinching her and start feeding her.
Every so often pat her back(Like you would to burp a baby)

>It would be wonderful having a giant dragon as a mom wouldn't it? To protect you, tuck you in, cook for you, and you could always nuzzle up and sleep right next to them. Wouldn't it be nice? To be taken care of I mean. You could relax so much more.
Your already feeding her anon.
Start rocking and burping her.
Did we put a napkin on her shirt to make sure she doesn't make a mess on herself?
We should do that.

Start cooing to her like a child
You begin to tickle Svana adorably...

"Aww, who's the best mother you ever knew? I am! You know you think I'm a great mother! You should really call me mom, my precious adorable little daughter! Or else, I'll keep tickling you until you squeal, with a big happy family for you to see in the future... With many more siblings for you to see.... Oh heavens, tons more!"

You begin to pinch her ccheeks.

"Aw, my dear... Come on, just say it. I'd love to hear it! Just call me mom! We're all family now, and it's such a shame you won't say it..."

You pout a bit, before giving her a crushing hug up against your assets, rocking back and forth, patting her head and patting her back...

"Oh, it'd be so wonderful for you to have a giant dragon mother... To protect you, tuck you in, cook for you, and nuzzle up and sleep right next to! Wouldn't it be nice to be taken care of? It'd be so pleasant and adorable..."

"M-m-mom! Your being w-weird!" Charlemagne says...

Svana however, is close to breaking from your motherly assault...

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see if you can finish her off.

+3 if you can finish being maternal to her!
+2 if you can mention how sad it would be to have "normal parents" and how she'd be super special to you... (+1 if you can have some pity for her probably being born to a barechested plebian.)
+2 if you can already start referring to her as a daughter and mention how this isn't weird at all. (+1 if you can be excited over having more children most likely. +1 if you can feel some pity for most people, unable to have as many children as you do.)

Autosuccess if everything is done.
Rolled 13 + 14 (1d20 + 14)

Bring her head closer to our chest.
As in align her head so her ear can listen to the pulse of our heartbeat. It should soothe her and switch to a sing song voice.

>Aw but wouldn't it be a shame for you to have normal parents? I'd care for you so much. You would be one of my irreplaceable treasures. You would be my daughter. Near and dear to my heart. Honestly this couldn't be more natural. I don't know why anyone would consider this weird. Your my daughter and I am your mother. It's only natural I baby you like this.

Kiss her on the forehead.

>"Right my precious little gem?"
Allowing samefagging if you can continue to reassure her about this not being weird at all.
Rolled 5 + 14 (1d20 + 14)

Sure I'll do one more roll.
>"Wouldn't it be weirder if a mother ignored their child and didn't take care of them? Surely what I'm doing is healthier than the alternative not to mention it leaves people happier. Aren't you happy my little baby girl. My oh so precious daughter. My irreplaceable daughter."
Rolled 5 + 14 (1d20 + 14)

>"So just relax my dear. It's fine nothing is askew. Just drift off and let mother take care of you okay? Don't worry about a thing."
You bring her heart closer to your chest... Aligning her head so her ear can listen to the pulse of yor heartbeat, and you make sure to talk in a sing-song voice...

"Aw... Wouldn't it be a shame for you to have normal parents? I'd care for you so much, as a irreplaceable treasure... Being my daughter, near and dear to my heart... It couldn't be more natural.Who would find this weird? I mean, after all, your my daughter, and I'm your mother... It's only natural, after all..."

You give her a kiss on the forehead.

"Right, my little precious gem? So just relax... Just drift off. Mother is here, ok? Don't worry about a thing..."

You pet her slowly, and she seems comfortable.

Charlemagne breaks from his father's grip...

"Mom, she's not your daughter, she's my girlfriend!"

"And my daughter in law, so?"

"That doesn't make you literally her mother.."

You growl, quite displeased...

"Charles, please relax... She's in perfectly good hands."

Meanwhile, as Renexizious...

Apparently Elizabeth is being... Very maternal. As in, to the point where she's claiming Charlemagne's girlfriend as a daughter or something. Great...

Something tells you she will be VERY displeased if you assist Charlemagne, though you could try to explain it to Charlemagne...


>...Try to talk Charlemagne out of being pissed at his mom.
>...Take Elizabeth's side. (Reduce Charlemagne's opinion moderately!)
>Take Charlemagne's side. (Reduce Elizabeth's opinion heavily!)
>Try and calm Elizabeth down... She's being very crazy recently...
>...Try to talk Charlemagne out of being pissed at his mom.
Roll me a 1d20+5 anon.

+3 if you can come up with excuses for Elizabeth's behavior. (+2 if you can either support it or not.)
+2 if you can try and get Elizabeth to knock it off a little! (+2 if you can bribe her!)
+2 if Gwynevere can show off to Renexizious while still holding Svana by her chest.
Rolled 18 + 14 (1d20 + 14)

>I'm sorry charlemagne but liz has become a bit more...Protective after her recent clutch of children. It's nice honestly. I think she embraced motherhood and came to love it. Now she won't give it up. I'm fine with it though.

>"Liz can you tone it down a smidge please? How about you leave Svana alone a bit and I occupy your time instead?"

Sorry for being slow

Amazing Success!

"Sorry Charlemagne, but Liz has become a bit more... Protective, after her recent clutch of children... Honestly though, it's nice. She embraced motherhood... And won't give it up. That's fine though... But Elizabeth, can you tone ti down a smidge please? How about you leave Svana alone a bit, and I occupy your time instead?"


She lets go of Svana, who backs up quickly, and you and Elizabeth begin to make out furiously...

Roll me a 1d20+6 for how smooth the rest of dinner goes and if Elizabeth does anything too crazy.

+2 if Elizabeth can mutter out an apology while making out furiously.
+3 if Renexizious and Elizabeth can escalate in lust and love. (+1 if Elizabeth can try to reassure Charlemagne and Svana that everything's alright.)
+2 if Renexizious can try to get Elizabeth's mind off being maternal for a bit.
+2 if Gwynevere can show off to Ren a bit.
Rolled 18 + 14 (1d20 + 14)

>I'm.....sorry.....about the....coddling....Svana...
(Note each break is liz going back to making out.)

Gwynevere will try to position herself so ren can get a good view of her chest.

pretty soon they'll start pressing right up against each other leaving literally no room. There will be alot of grabbing and feeling and in general charlemagne will probably want to look away.

"It's fine charlemagne don't worry about anything. Just enjoy your food alright? Nothing to be concerned about."

Amazing Success!

You furiously make out, grabbing and feeling your wife's thighs, breasts, anything you can put a hand on...

Before you know it, your headed back home with a full Charlemagne and Svana... And an exhausted Elizabeth.

"So uh... Thanks Ren. Elizabeth is... Interesting."


"Hey uh... She doesn't actually want me to become her daughter, right? I mean, that'd be pretty strange."

Charlemagne and Svana's opinion of you has increased by +5!


>Don't worry about it...
>...She's just playing around. She does this a lot.
>...Eeeh... She might actually want you to be her daughter... So just stay away from her.
>To be fair, I wouldn't mind.
>...Eeeh... She might actually want you to be her daughter... So just stay away from her.
>To be fair, I wouldn't mind.
"Eeeeh... She might actually want you to be her daughter. So just stay away from her now. But to be fair, I wouldn't really mind."


"Anyways, let's just get back home..."

You drive homeward, with a rather happy Elizabeth beside you...

You notice that Elslif and Chrysoula seem to have been playing together. How cute.

Either way, over time the party comes to an end, and Charlemagne and Svana retire to their room...

Of course, not to long after, you get to deal with Charlemagne being curious about why "why is my bed covered with stuffed animals" and Elizabeth chips in that they were on sale and "looked cute".

Of course.

Chrysoula seems burned out, and collapses on the couch, utterly exhausted. Frankizka is no where to be seen, presumably socially exhausted. Elizabeth however, cuddles up to you warmly as you sit in the armchair.

"Uuuggggh..." Chrysoula groans out, and turns over.

"Something wrong?"

"...My back just hurts again... Elslif wanted a ride... And I decided to do weights during it..."

She seems quite sore and uncomfortable...


>Well, your muscles look as fine as ever, Chrysoula.
>...If you want, I can cuddle up to you. You look like you could use it.
>...Elslif's a handful, I will admit...
>...Hey, if you want I can put some lotion on your back and message it...
>...So anyways, what's with your back recently? A few weeks ago it hurt again...
>...So anyways, what's with your back recently? A few weeks ago it hurt again...
"Hey, Chrysoula? Why ia your back hurting so much again? "

'I mean, I don't know... It's been kind of off and on for a month or two..."


> This may be serious. You should maybe do a more serious examination medically.
> Just try to calm her down.
> See if you can get her to tell you what it feels like before, during, and after.
> Write In
> See if you can get her to tell you what it feels like before, during, and after.
> This may be serious. You should maybe do a more serious examination medically.
"Can you tell me what it feels like before and during? "

'I kinda feel like it's hard to stand and my arms kinda hurt a bit..."

"How about during?"

"Just some back pain, I guess."

"Alright... Care if I medically examine you?"

"I mean, If you rub my back and stop it from hurting, sure."


> Sure, why not?
> aNo, this is serious!
> Try to convince her...
> Write in
>No, this is serious!
>"Chrysoula I need to perform a actual medical exam. This is a chronic problem and there may be a underlying cause beyond just normal physical exertion. Especially if you feel pain in your arms before this.
"Chrysoula, this is serious. If your feeling strange in the arm and it hurts, not to mention if you feel dizzy..."

"Ok, ok... Can you help me up?"

Roll me a 1d20+5 for medical diagnostics.

+3 if you can find a way to medically examine her!
+2 if you can help her downstairs somehow.
+1 if you can be sweet towards her.
+1 if you can worry abour her.
Rolled 9 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

Let's take her to our lab. Shepshift into our minotaur form so we can prop her up on our shoulder so we can take her downstairs.

For examination we need to start using our hands to feel her spine, arms, and legs. Mostly non invasive examination to see if we can get a reaction.

>Oh my little minotaur let's just check up on you okay? I don't want you hurt too badly. Maybe you should stay home for a while and take you to the doctor so we can make sure you return to good health. I don't want you suffering like this."
Oh yeah and just saying but we should probably have renexizia release the people she enslaved
Please tell me she didn't kidnap picasso
Allowing samefagging if you can bw more sweet.
Rolled 11 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

Rub her horns reassuringly.
>"Now chrysoula you need to remember to tell me about when you feel weak and things like that. How am I supposed to look after you if you don't."

Give the poor woman a peck on the cheek.
Rolled 15 + 12 (1d20 + 12)

>"So next time come to me so I can make sure you're in top shape. We can't be having you going out and injuring yourself and not saying anything. That wouldn't do."
Rub her back and wear a concerned look.

>"That would not do at all."

Anyways I gotta be off.
See ya OP.
Rolled 17 (1d20)


Great Success!

You mostly use a physical examination, and there seems to be great pain on her spine...

Of course, you decide to go advanced and after some more longer studying and examining, you find that her spine on the lumbar section seems to be bent slightly, and you examine further...

Ignore my roll.
You find that her spine has a... Slight tumor on it. It doesn't seem exactly major, but it certainly does seem uncomfortable...

Of course, you check to make sure the tumor is either malignant or benign... It seems like it's benign.



>...Try to do surgery!
>...Maybe you can mutate the tumor out?
>Eh... Leave it be...

>...Try to do surgery!

Tumors have a bad tendency to mutate on their own...
>...Try to do surgery!
[red]"Hey, Chrysoula... I think I need to do surgery."[/red]


"Well, yes... It shouldn't take too long."

She seems a little worried.

"I-I erh... I don't know?"

Roll me a 1d20+5 to see if you can convince Chrysoula to let you give her surgery.

+3 if you can stress how important this is!
+2 if you can comment on her having a cute butt too.

>"You've...you've got a tumor on your spine. It doesn't look cancerous, but it's going to continue to grow and put pressure on your spinal column, and the pain is only going to get worse over time. This needs to be done."
>"Besides, think how cute your butt will look with that knob taken out of it!"
You kinda need to roll anon. Allowing samefagging if you can continue to be sweet, and reassure her. And compliment her buttocks m
Rolled 14 + 10 (1d20 + 10)


I don't know why I forget that half the time.

Good Success!

You convince Chryosula to go through some surgery, but she still seems quite uncertain... You however mention how it will only get worse, and she decides to just get it over with...

So of course, you begin operating...

Roll me a 1d20+4 to see how well this goes.

+2 if you can find a way to make this not hurt her or have her sleeping/knocked out.
+1 if you can be delicate to your little adorable minotaur.
+1 if you can find a way to prevent her squirming or doing anything...
+1 if you can think about how much happier she'd be after this, and how nice cuddling would be with her.
Rolled 6 + 9 (1d20 + 9)


>This is the kind of thing drowsy pheromones were made for.
>Be very careful as we make the incisions, use a very sharp scalpel so the cuts are clean and there's no tearing. Make sure that we get out the entire tumor in one piece, otherwise if chunks break off they could float around and reattach elsewhere, and if we don't get it all out it will just re-grow.
>Probably best to simply tie her down once she falls asleep. One restraint across the upper portion of her body, one across her legs. At least we can probably get it off before she wakes up.
>At least she won't hurt anymore, she'll be able to all the work and such that she wants without having horrible back pain anymore. And I'll be able to cuddle her without hurting her.
Allowing samefagging if you can think cute thoughts about your adorable little minotaur.
Rolled 11 + 9 (1d20 + 9)


>"The sooner I can get this out, the sooner I can get back to cuddling with my living, breathing, fluffy plushie. I'll have to convince her to take it easy while the wound heals up though. I can see it now, cuddly minotaur wrapped in a blankie, sipping a mug of hot cocoa on the couch. So cute!"
One more anon?
Rolled 1 + 9 (1d20 + 9)


>"I'm sure that even Elizabeth would want to cuddle up with her when she's all better, and good gods that would be super cute to see. Maybe have it enshrined in mosiac down in the pools, just so everyone can see how cute it is."

...whelp, she's paralyzed from the waist down for life now. Time for barbaric surgery?
Do anons want to use barbaric ?

> Yes
> NO

Yes. I somehow get the feeling that it would be bad to let her be paralyzed for life.
Roll me a 1d20 anon.

+2 if Ren can be even more loving.
+2 if Ren can think about adorable things his little minotaur could do.
+1 if Ren can think why Liz literally tried to make Svana her daughter.
Rolled 20 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

Liz wants more children.
This includes children that aren't even hers apparently.

Pet her. Sing in a deep soothing voice. Release some drowsy pheromones.
We could have chrysoula cuddle with us while she wars pajamas and holds a stuffed animal. That'd be pretty adorable.

I am not going to risk anything against that 20.
Well... Critical Succcess

You manage to deftly remove the tumor, and straighten and even reinforce the spinal cord... She can now work out even harder and for longer, and is stronger to boot.

Of course, Chrysoula snores extremely loudly, and you hear her stomach rumble a bit...

This gives Flames an idea. Why not make dinner for her? She has just gone through surgery after all...


> Of course! Reward her for braving surgery!
> Just order a pizza or something.
> Head to bed with Liz.
> See if you can wake up Chrysoula. ..
> Write In
> Of course! Reward her for braving surgery!
Just make some fondue.
> Just order a pizza or something.
I'll be back later anons.

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