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You are Judah Ben Hibbeus sent on a quest by the King to defeat the pillaging Profiteer (pieces of gold be upon him).

You have been traversing the desert in search of the Profiteer's palace. Ever before you is its blue domed mirage but try as you might you could not reach the real thing.

But now, you have the Mirage Mirror - an item hard won by your defeat of the desert hauntress, Nicki Miraj - that purportedly can help you. You have yet to try it out.

While on your adventures you've met many strange creatures and seen many things. One of those things were tiny robots unscrewing a pyramid. The memory of it has piqued your curiosity and you've taken a small detour from your quest to reach the profiteers palace in order to investigate what those tiny robots have been up to.

(Last Episodes: https://boards.4tan.org/qst/thread/1425539/;
https://boards.4tan.org/qst/thread/1414705/; https://boards.4tan.org/qst/thread/1399776/)

What do you do?
>>
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Apparently finding no screws the little robot jumps off your head and rips your eyelashes out.
>>
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>>
Will you:

>Continue Investigating the Robots quarry
>Try the Mirage Mirror to find the Palace
>Go somewhere else (Write in)
>React (Write in)
>Some else (Write in)
>>
>>1434549
>Continue Investigating the Robots quarry
>>
>>1434576

You decide if you're going to get to the bottom of this strange screw collecting you're going to have to see what's going on inside the quarry.

So inching yourself to the edge of the giant mini-robot dug hole you carefully lower yourself on to the platform below and find yourself standing over a set stairs dug into the wall.

In the pit below is a giant pile of screws topped by your own eyelashes.
>>
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>>
If you're new to Terrible Quest:

Feel free to write something you want to do in between any post I make.

I don't normally give people >options.

Consider yourself always able to write something unless I state that a post is to be continued.
>>
>>1434634
Okay.

>>1434608
Dig around the screws with your shoes. See if there is anything interesting beneath the pile.
>>
>>1434672

Hopping on the giant pile of screws you use your sandals as if they were spades and start scooping screws out of the way and as you do little robots catch the screws that you scoop and start to throw them back on the pile.

But you're a little bit faster than them and not far below the surface of the screws you see that under the pile the little robots are working on something.
>>
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>>1434696
Take a closer look.
>>
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>>1434716
You try to take a closer look but the screws pile in and close off your view.
>>
>>1434743
Climb out of the pit and look around for any more points of interest.
>>
>>1434774
Your head pops out of the pile of screws and you see your cat Puffers watching the pile intently. There is a great commotion with all of the activity of the robots, piling screws, and building underneath of them, but other than that there doesn't seem to be anything else happening at the moment.

(Not that it isn't an incredible sight.)
>>
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>>1434774
>>
>>1434797
Look for a way into the pyramid.
>>
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>>1434839

You climb out of the screw quarry and decide to explore the destroyed pyramids. walking up to the monumental stones you realise the structure is still gigantic despite it's destruction.

If there is an entrance, it shouldn't be hard to find now.

You walk around the circumference of the base and find an entry way, about twice as tall as you are.
>>
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>>1434865
Enter through there and explore.
>>
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>>1434887

Adventure coursing through your veins compels you to explore this pyramid. But first, what are you going to do for light?

Here is your current inventory:

+2 Jenny of the lamp tokens
175 gold
+1 Cactus Token
Quiver of Cactus Needles
Jenny of the Lamp's Lamp
Bottled Sand
Puffers the cat
Mirage Mirror

---------------------

Available spells and Moves:

Magacks Missiles.
Shield Me Gary! (SockPuppy)

---------------------
Companions:

Sockpuppy
>>
>>1434906
Cast a single Magack Missile and hold it in.
Stop it from flying out of your hand.
Use it as an improvised light source.
>>
>>1434982
Roll 2d6 to control the magic missile.
>>
Rolled 2, 1 = 3 (2d6)

>>1435002
Rollin'.
>>
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>>1435017
"Seems safe enough."

ZZZ-Zaap! Phhhhhhhsssss.

"Okay, so that idea didn't work."
>>
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In the brief light of the explosion however, you did manage to glimpse the hallway.
>>
>>1435056
Pat through the wall until you come across the object that was attached to it.
>>
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>>1435072
Welp, lean your flaming part of your head to the wall object and see if it catches fire.
>>
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>>1435071
It appears to be an ancient torch.

You figure you have about .0066 seconds before that fire starts to itch.
>>
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>>1435084
Eureka it does!

You have taken quite a bit of damage - you need to do something fast.
>>
>>1435121
Use the Bottled Sand.
Pour sand on top of your head.
>>
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>>1435133
Good thinking Anon, you get +1 to your next roll.

The fire goes out and you're left in the pyramid corridor with a lit torch on the wall.

Now that your hair isn't on fire and you can see what's around you, you notice faint hieroglyphs etched into the walls. Puffers is afraid and pressed up against the opposite wall, and Sockpuppy is wimpering at your side, staying close for comfort.
>>
>>1435160
Take the torch and enter further into the pyramid.
>>
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>>1435178

Once you cross the threshold of the first corridor you hear a rumbling noise and can feel the ground tremor under your feet.

There is the sound of a hard SLAM! as a stone wall comes down behind you, barring the way backward and out of the pyramid.
>>
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You find yourself in a claustrophobic chamber, it is only about eight by eight feet and has a pedestal in the center of the room.

And place on that pedestal is an olde timey television. The kind with a dial.
>>
>>1435224
Examine if the television is battery powered or requires to be plugged into an outlet.
>>
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>>1435232

You examine the television.

Hmmm..... Oddly enough, it doesn't seem to have a power supply. The little panels on the back are the same as any old television set, minus any obvious batteries or power cord.
>>
>>1435250
Welp, let's try turning it on anyway just in case.
Switch to channel 1.
>>
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>>1435253

You turn the dial to channel 1....

The TV clicks, and then, a foot starts to emerge out of the television screen...

(Cont)
>>
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A Raging /Sci/ pops out of the television!

And he looks... enraged. (I mean seriously, have you ever been to sci!?)

He steps towards your party, Sai's in hand.
>>
What do you do?
>>
>>1435324
Well clearly this guy means business.
Let's see if we can be civil about this first.
Introduce ourselves to him.
>>
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>>1435346
"Hey there little guy, I'm Judah."

"No you're not."

"Err, yes, I am. And who might you be?"

"Shut up, manlet."

"Actually, heh, I'm a girl."

"A what!? That's don't EXIST!!"

"Yes they d-- er... wait I'm sensing a pattern here. Are you going to argue with everything I say no matter what it is?"

"No."

"You just did it."

"I did not."

>Continue arguing with /sci/ (write in)
>Punch him in the face.
>Other
>>
>>1435380
Make a seven paragraph long statement on why he is objectivly wring no matter what his opinion is (and then conclude it by calling him a manlet weeb with a shitty waifu)

I was gone yesterday and missed a bit of the quest, glad to be back
>>
>>1435380
Ask him if he knows anything about this place.
>>
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>>1435385
"You believe in relative truth huh, HUH HUH!?? WHAT? WHAT!? NO! NO! YOU SON OF A ----"

Your attack is extremely effective.

At sending him into a fit of rage.

>>1435393

"I know EVERYTHING about this place, clearly you don't because you're an idiot."

('Hmm,' you think. 'It doesn't seem like he knows anything about this place. I wonder how he got here.')
>>
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Another pair of legs appear through the screen of the television, and out pops

another monster...

Pretentious /Pol/
>>
>>1435385
(Welcome back! You always come on late my time, that part sucks but still good to have you.)
>>
>>1435419
>>1435411
Get them to argue about climate change then change the channel while they're distracted.

>>1435450
Yeah, I'm always kind of late, but I still try to get in. In the future, my attendance won't be so bad
>>
>>1435495

Roll 2d6 (+1 bonus is in effect) for success of your attack.

This will certainly work.

Meroow? Says puffers.

(Very clever attack anon, here's hoping.)
>>
Rolled 4, 6 = 10 (2d6)

>>1435503
>>
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>>1435582
"So," you smile. "What'd you guys think about climate change?"

"Climate change, huh?" says /Pol/ "Hmm... well to be honest.."

Puffers covers his ears with his paws.

(Cont)
>>
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You sneakily extend your body towards the television.

Good, it looks like it's working!

(cont)
>>
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(Cont)

You click the television and suddenly both /sci/ and /pol/ *pop* out of existence. You briefly see them inside the television set.

(cont)
>>
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/Pol/ throws his bottle of molotov cocktail and it cracks and smashes over /Sci/'s head. Sci's face turns red and he's just about to stab /Pol/ when they both 'wink' off of the screen.

The image on screen changes, to this.
>>
>You have one free turn to prepare for a boss fight. If there is anything you'd like to do before /b/ pops out of the screen. Things like using Jenny etc.

Your current status is that you're a bit injured from the fire, and Sockpuppy is also injured if I remember correctly, from an attack on a tar tumbler that didn't go perfectly.

I'll consider Puffers as healed from his fight during the Nicki Minaj sequence since you went back to the King after that.
>>
Omgosh even I did it this time. I meant Nicki Miraj. It's so easy to accidentally type the real person's name. XD
>>
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All right folks, it's super late for me here again.

I'll be back and continue the game tomorrow, probably during the day since it'll be Sunday.

You guys have a great night and thanks pNwzJUU5, and GqGlI3aT for playing! You guys were fun to play with, as always.
>>
Okydoke! The game will be resuming in a few minutes even if no one is here to play I'll play by myself.

Cause honestly it's fun.

And then you'll have something to read when you get back! But also, if you are here, please let me know in the next few minutes.
>>
>>1435613
I'm not sure what this will do and how this works but let's try anyway.
Use 1 Jenny of the lamp token on Jenny of the Lamp's Lamp.
>>
>>1436481
Sorry computer is giving me a connection error in the reply box so I'm going to have to type out my reply in an iPad thanks for your patience
>>
iPad doing it tooo.. maybe 4chan server been trying to send now for 10 min
>>
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>>1436481

>You rub Jenny's lamp and summon Jenny for supplies!

(Maybe can only send short messages?)
>>
"Hey Jenny, we're hurt - do you have anything you could sell us to heal us? Like a potion?"

Jenny nods her head, "Of course I do. My potions are fair priced remember, if you want them cheaper you need to find someone else."

"Yah, yah, I know Jenny. So how much?"

"$35 per potion, but I see you have a token there, would you like to use it? You can get one free potion per token."
>>
Wow that was frickin annoying.

Your reply would have sent only 4 minutes after you typed back to me. Terrible start to the game.

I guess 4chan for some reason was rejecting my post. Some weird formatting bug.

All I did was split it up into two sections then it sent. So sorry about that.
>>
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All right commencing self play.

>Buy potion. (Won't use up tokens on you players)

>Quaff half potion and give other half to Sockpuppy.

Doot doodly doot doo!

You flex your arms - all healed up!

A long black needle shaped stinger pierce through the screen of the television followed by yellow and then black stripes until finally /b/ has emerged.
>>
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/B/ turns his wicked red eyes on to Puffers as soon as he emerges.

"Bzzzzzz! Kill, kill!"

"Mrrroooooww!?" Puffers puts up his paws in fear as /b/ comes shooting at him like a dart!
>>
Rolled 6, 5 = 11 (2d6)

Puffers swats at /b/!
>>
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It's a hit!
>>
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/b/ squirts his butt juices at the party!
>>
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Since dogs are a natural enemy of bees you tried to free Sockpuppy first.
>>
Rolled 2, 2 = 4 (2d6)

>>
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"Yyeeeep!"

You deftly dodge the stinger of /b/ as you try to free Sockpuppy from the sticky goo. But how long can you hold...

> i've got to think of something ( write in)
> just one more tug!

( anyone who wants to play can chime in at any time.)
>>
Rolled 3, 4 = 7 (2d6)

>>1436761
Greg's a big lad, he can tank this one.
>Shield me, Greg!
>>
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>>1436832
He certainly can!
>>
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/b/ appears to be stuck.
>>
>>1436892
Take it with you. That's your new pet.
>>
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>>1436906
Sockpuppy tries to subdue the /b/ in order to make it into a new pet.

Roll 1d100, /b/ is very hard to tame - you will need a roll over 90
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>1436917
>>
>>1436934
Like a boss.
>>
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>>1436934
You have tamed /B/.

+2 to your next roll (of 2d6) for tragic success
>>
Would you like to rename /B/?
>>
>>1436972
Yes.
Rename /B/ as Fukbis McFaguette
>>
>>1436977
That is hilarious.
>>
Here is your updated inventory:

+2 Jenny of the lamp tokens
140 gold
+1 Cactus Token
Quiver of Cactus Needles
Jenny of the Lamp's Lamp
Puffers the cat
/B/ (named Fukbis McFaguette)
Mirage Mirror

+2 to next 2d6 Roll

---------------------

Available spells and Moves:

Magacks Missiles.
Shield Me Gary! (SockPuppy)

---------------------
Companions:

Sockpuppy

New drawing in roughly 10 min I'm eating a little snack.
>>
>>1436977

As hilarious as that is actually, I think for the sake of PG 13 and to save me on some typing I'll just refer to him as bee, though his official name will stay the same on the inventory sheet.

New drawing right after this post.
>>
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The ground once more tremors under your feet. Presently, bright daylight comes flooding in from the roof of the pyramid's chamber.

Something has lifted the roof clear off!
>>
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It's some kind of metallic golem and it has YOUR eyelashes!
>>
>>1437049
Fine by me.

>>1437066
Well now ain't that something.
Wave hello at the golem.
>>
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>>1437095
>>
The golem reaches down with a long hand as though he's trying to scoop one of you up.

What do you do?
>>
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>>1437125
Let it.
Let's see where this goes.
>>
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>>1437128
Judah likes your plan.
>>
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You are all lifted high out of the pyramid.
>>
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You may take one action before I continue, if you choose.
>>
>>1437204
Let's see if it can communicate.
Introduce yourself and your crew to the golem.
>>
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>>1437246
"Hi there, big fella. I'm Judah Ben--nrrrrk!"

The giant golem squeezes his hand crushing everyone nearly to death.

Thanks for the rescue buddy, I guess you're a little hostile, you groan out as it opens its hand for another crush.
>>
>>1437277
Jump to the golem's shoulder.
>>
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>>1437288
>>
Rolled 1, 4 = 5 (2d6)

>>1437302
Watch as I fail the rolls.
>>
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>>1437310
Well predicted tragic Anon.

Puffers doesn't make it. He is flicked off of the columns shoulder with the powerful thrust of its finger! He is currently ok'd.
>>
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With each moment you spend on top of the golem's shoulder there is a 2d6 chance that another of your cast members will be flicked off.

The reason you all landed safely on the shoulder was because you had a +2 to that roll.
>>
Column = autocorrect mistake. Should say golem.
>>
>>1437342
Climb to the back of its head.
See if there's anything we can mess with over there.
>>
I technically screwed up and must apologize, because I forgot about the +2 until afterwards. You got a 7 and that's a success, but since I already drew it I thought well, can't go back on it now.

To make up for it I'll give you a +2 on your next roll too.

Also, since I decided to pg the game, even though the bee's name made me laugh I'm actually gonna ask you to make another name cause it's not fair I just keep the name but not use it.

Name him something else and I'll just call him that but we will always have the joy of the first laugh in our memories. XD
>>
>>1437359
Roll 2d6 +2 to see if the Golem flicks anyone else off while you're meddling.
>>
Rolled 6, 6 = 12 (2d6)

>>1437368
Sure.
He'll be known as "Screwbis Bundletwigs" from now on. Named after the screw pit from earlier.

>>1437371
Rolling out.
>>
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>>1437387
You are brilliant at hilarious names. Done. Also, brilliant roll.

You manage to swing over the back of the golem's neck. You pull open a metallic panel with a 'skreeeeeeee'.

Boy, it's complicated back here.
>>
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This is what you see.
>>
>>1437438
Well that one looks important.
Pull down that lever over there.
>>
>Press the blue button
>Press the red button
>Press the green button
>Flip the switch
>Combination (Write in)
>Something else (Write in)
>>
>>1437457
*Switch selected

(Drawing)
>>
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>>1437457
Roll 1d100 for me to know what is affected.
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>1437477
Into the depths of uncertainty we go.
>>
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>>1437495
--BALANCE STABILIZERS.. DISENGAGE--

What do you do as the golem comes crashing down to the desert floor?
>>
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All right I guess I'll call it here for tonight.
>>
Your current inventory:

+2 Jenny of the lamp tokens
140 gold
+1 Cactus Token
Quiver of Cactus Needles
Jenny of the Lamp's Lamp
Mirage Mirror

---------------------

Available spells and Moves:

Magacks Missiles.
Shield Me Gary! (SockPuppy)
Stinger Goo (Screwbis Bundletwigs)

---------------------
Companions:

Sockpuppy
Puffers (Ko'd)
Screwbis Bundletwigs


------------------
I'll try to leave a post sometime tomorrow letting everyone know when the next game is.

Sorry that's not very definitive but I don't know myself at the moment.

Since we're back in to the weekdays, let me know what times you're free to play in EST.

Thanks!

- Halp.
>>
For those looking to catch up or just to read the thread for entertainment: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=halp

If you're a new player reading this please feel free to hop in the game without catching up. You're always more than welcome and this game is easy to hop into.
>>
>>1437537
What properties does the Stinger Goo have?

(sticky, slick, flammable, etc)

I'm going to base my choice off of that.
>>
I should be able to do the game tomorrow evening.

So I'll do my usual thing where I leave a 'am continuing' post and will check it to see when people respond to it.

>>1441052

All you know so far is that it's incredibly sticky.
Good thinking that you thought of it for this situation, I'll be honest I didn't even think of that myself.
>>
>>1441464
I'm not sure how to get out of the situation with stickiness without getting a little hurt, but that sounds like it could be fun in the future!

Jump onto Screwbis I guess. Screwbis is mountable, right?

Look forward to seeing you tomorrow, Halp
>>
>>1441510
>Look forward to seeing you tomorrow, Halp

Thanks :) I'll be starting at 7PM est (30 mins)
>>
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You, Judah, and Sockpuppy are hitching a ride on a falling golem rapidly approaching the desert floor.

>What do you do?
>>
>>1441510
You're pretty sure Screwbis could hold your weight alone but you'll have to roll a 2d6 to see if he can hold both you and Sockpuppy together.
>>
Rolled 4, 1 = 5 (2d6)

>>1443139
>>
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>>1443239
>>
>>1443239
Sock puppy missed the jump!
>>
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You can attempt one action before Sockpuppy hits the ground. (Iclude a 2d6 with your action)
>>
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The golem hits the ground with a thunderous noise.
>>
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>>
All right, it's been a few hours and it looks like no one's gonna show up so I'll continue this in a new thread sometime this week.
>>
>>1443603
Aww, sorry for missing you Halp

See you later
>>
Rolled 2, 3 = 5 (2d6)

>>1443474
I honestly have no idea what we can do for pup at this point

...

S-shield me Gary?
>>
>>1443474
You remember what to do in radical robotic situations, right? Literally remove the top of your body, attach tassels to Screwbis and have him launch his much stickyer bee faeces (or should I say beeces) at a velocity faster than the pull of gravity to provide a cushioned landing for Sock Puppy.
>>
Rolled 5, 1, 1 = 7 (3d6)

>>1444795
1d6 for remove top
1d6 for add tassels
1d6 for bee goo
>>
>>1443701
It's okay, see you later! :)

>>1443804
>>1444795
>>1445426

Thread continued here: >>1446023




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