Previously, on Adams and Eve...
"What is this?""I do not know, Captain. I found it on the ground.""Some sort of crystal-""I will see that this crystal is taken to the Emperor's treasure vault."
"Now just a minute, fellas. I haven't had lunch yet either, but all I want to do is get out of here and rescue Grug!"
"Bah! The slave market of the Sardaks! How I detest this place! Through that narrow passage right of the slaver's block is the path to the well-guarded mine-pit, from where the Sardak slaves toil to draw forth the black stones. Even now the treacherous Naldaks' whips sear the back of your friend Grug of the Warrior People for his steadfast refusal to submit to their rule!"
"We might need that crystal's power to spring Grug from this herpetologist's hoosegow, but I need to get it back in human hands either way! Zorr, what's that building? Their treasury?""Nay, my new friend!"
"That is the apartments of the Sardaks' loathsome princess!"
"We may well die in this city of abominations, outlander, but the Warrior People treated my kind fairly, even as we were in decline under Sardak siege. I fight with you this day as I would him, Mike of the outlands!"
"Chull, you may not be a human, but I'm proud to call you my brother-in-arms! Now let's g-""There they are!"
"Get them! Eliminate them all!""Sardaks!""Go, friend Mike! While they tarry with us! Save your friend!">Sneak away>Stand with Zorr, Chull, and mighty Xotol>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 7 (1d12)>>1533374>>Stand with Zorr, Chull, and mighty XotolSing some good old fashioned battle songs as we stab faces. You're up first Zorr!
>>1533374>Stand with Zorr, Chill, and Xotol
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>1533374>Stand with Zorr, Chull, and mighty Xotol
>>1533374>stand with zorr, chull, and mighty xotol
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>1533503
"I can't well abandon my comrades as soon as things get hairy - er, scaly!"
"Hang on, Zorr, I'm coming!""No, Mike! There are too many of them! Flee, while you still-"
"You should not let your guard down, cur!"[cracking noise]"Aaargh!"
"Now, great King of the Zordaks, your race ends crawling on the ground!"
[blade clanging noises]"Look not to the Zordak, primate! Your death is here!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 12 (1d12)>>1533589Throw the horn into his face.
"I don't need to get past you-"
"I just need to get this past you! Hey, ugly!"
"The Captain has been slain!"
"Aye, now let me return the favor!""What are you-"
[bone cracking sound]
"Take this, friend Mike! Let us show these Sardaks a battle they will never forget!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field! And roll another d12 for whatever Zorr does as well!
It's really hot and humid where I am and my air conditioning went on the fritz today so it's really hard to get the sticky tack to stay stuck
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>1533781Stand back-to-back to create perfect defense!
Rolled 5, 2 = 7 (2d12)>>1533781Try to trip the approaching Sardak so you can kill him while he is on the ground.Zorr can just decapitate the other one.
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>1533781Trip them up using that corpse
"Zorr! Keep your back to me!""Aye, we'll keep them at bay as I did when I learned to fight the beasts that hunt the great desert pass! I learned my sword's-hand at the foot of the great Blade-dak of the Mountain! Where were you taught to handle your blade so well, friend Mike?"
"Elective class at the Navy Academy!""Curse this primate and his Zordak accomplice!""Our swords cannot reach them!"
"Your skills are well and good, but even we four cannot weather this tide forever! Even now, more Sardaks rush to join this fray!"
"Let them come! We shall find our deaths gloriously, drowning in their foul blood!""Chull's right, Zorr - we've got to skedaddle while we're on the winning side. I've got a plan..."
>>1533894"... and it involves bedding the Sardak princess!"
"...at least I hope I do..."Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>1533900All four of us charge their line together to break through.
Rolled 9 (1d12)>>1533900Claim to be the lover of the princess. It's crazy, but if the guards respect her, there's a chance they won't risk the offence.
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>1533906And then run to the Princess' villa!
"Kill them!""Destroy the lesser ones!""Wait, what are they doing-"
"Raaaaaaargh!""Look out!""Too late!""Aaaugh!""Aaaah!""Ha! Mighty Xotol sees nary a hinder from the likes of these hatchlings!""Nor does the last of the Dendaks!""Aaaugh-!"
"It is very good to see you again..."
"Hello again, sir. I'm sorry I haven't been able to free all the humans yet-""It is alright, Maikadams. We have been slaves of the Sardaks for a long, long time, and many of our people were freed when you toppled the Sardak's temple!""This time it might not be so easy. Grug has been captured and put to work in their mine. And-""What is it, Maikadams?""The crystal - the lost piece of the Sardak crystal that Urr gave me - I figured out how to use it, but I was captured by the guards and one of their captains got his scaly hands on it."
"The lost piece of the crystal? It is not just a myth?!""And now the Sardaks have it?! Oh, this is terrible-""I know things look bad, but I have an idea on how to get it back."
"Do not be foolish, Mike! Even if you were to somehow seek your way to the treasure vault, you would search for years among the uncountable scores of useless baubles and blood-soaked trinkets in the Sardak Emperor's hoard!"
"I know... and that's assuming that the captain didn't just squirrel it away for himself. But my plan involves getting some outside help.""Who?""The Sardak Princess.""What? You have gone mad!""When I got close to her palanquin, it was almost as though she could sense the crystal I had hidden in my pocket. If I can somehow convince her to help me, I might be able to track it down wherever it is!"
"You will never make it back to the apartments of the Princess unseen!"[distant hammering noises]"Not for another few hours, anyway."
"With all the work they're doing on getting that ugly mug back up to the builder's code, I'd be spotted for sure."
"But how will you convince the Princess to aid you in finding the crystal?""Well-"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 12 (1d12)>>1534361Seduce the princess.
>>1534383I guess it worked then.
"Will there be anything else, Princess?""No, you may retire for the night."
"What is this restlessness I feel? My thoughts are clouded, and I can find no comfort in my rooms..."
"Always I find my thoughts returning to that strange power I felt... that primate, like none other... were but there could be someone beside me now, to help quell this strange urging that beckons and tows me forward!""It sounds to me like you could use some company right about now."
"You! That male primate who tried to abduct me!""At least you recognize I'm a male!"
"Come inside, hurry!""What's the rush? It's nice and cool up here-""Please! The moonlight is too bright! You must not be seen here!"
"Nice digs - a male primate could get used to this!"
"I have dismissed my servant, so I must act the part! Here, for your thirst.""That's very kind of you, Princess-""Call me Lylyth."
"Lylyth? That's a very pretty name-""Please, make yourself at ease. I will return very briefly."
This isn't suspicious at all, nope!
[sniffing]"Wonder what's in here... smells fine to me..."
"Well, so far everything seems to be going according to-"
"That is much more comfortable. I hope you find my company... pleasurable."
When will Mike Adams find a new shirt?
>>1534820I'm more concerned about when will he stop wearing pants and embrace fur underpants.
>>1534786You are out of this world, OP.
>>1535152Thanks anon, we should be back up in about 90 minutes!
[muddy squishing noises]"This is terrible - I've been lost all day, and now I've ended up in the swamp somehow! Oh, if only Mike were here, he would-"
"Oh, no - the flare gun! It must be somewhere around...[deep throaty rumbling sound]
[stifled terrified breathing]
[breathing abruptly stops][sniffing noise][long, drawn-out silence]
[heavy footsteps receding into distance][strained gasp for air]
"The flare gun! I hope it didn't get wet-"
[branch cracking noise]"Eee! Who's there?"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>1536529Check cautiously on the noise
"Is anyone there?"[branch snapping noise]"T-Tala?"
"HENK.""Eee-! Pokey! You scared the life out of me, you... you-"
"HENK."[licking sounds]"Aah, stop-! *giggle*"
"Oh, Pokey, we need to get out of this swamp before we both get eaten! If only you weren't so skittish about being ridden..."Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>1536723Put your trust into Pokey. Let him show you the way.
Rolled 9 (1d12)>>1536763there's no way this can go wrong.Try to ride Pokey anyway!
"Pokey, go to the valley! Home! Can you do that?""HENK."
"Go to the valley, Pokey! Home!""HENK.""Oh, Mike..."
"...I hope you're alright!"
"Are you comfortable, primate?"
"Comfortable enough, given where I'm at. Are you this hospitable to all the human slaves?""You are not like the other primates... you are not dull like they are. You are a curiosity."
"You have not finished your drink!""I'm savoring it.""You are nervous - come, I will dance for you.""You know how to dance?"
"I have been well-trained in many things, primate."
"I can see that...""Primate-"
"This dance requires a partner...">Be a man>Be a gentleman>Make small talk>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>1537089Stick it in her cloaca.
"I know why you have come here, primate...""Now don't go getting the wrong idea, Lylyth-""You are seeking that crystal.""The crystal- how did you know?""What else would you come here for?""I can see a few things..."
"I will help you find that shard of the Sardak crystal, primate...""My teachers warned me about snakes in paradise. And in return?""You know what it is that I seek."
"Do you find me appealing, primate?""Like nothing I've ever seen before.""You are very bold, primate...""Princess-"
"-you won't find another guy like me in a million years!"
[contented sleeping noises]
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
>>1537759>them ass scales
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>1537786grab knife, kick its owner in the face
Rolled 9 (1d12)>>1537786Knock dude off his feet
"Eee-!""Don't worry, Lylyth, I'll protect you from this peeping tom!"
"Unngh- you're... *grunt* stronger than you look!""The Sardak Princess, consorting with vermin like a wild beast!""Hey now, those are fighting words! Wait a second, that's my knife! Where did you get tha-"
"Death to the Princess!"
"Not if I can- aaugh-!""Primate! Your hand!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 4 (1d12)>>1538093rip his horn off!
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>1538093Splash blood in his face and kick him in the balls!
"Unngh!""You are weak, vermin! To think the Princess would choose to consort with something as loathesome as you!""Buddy, I've lost track of how many Sardaks I've killed today! You think you can... *grunt*... take me out?""Fool-"
"Who do you think slew the Princess's guards?"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>1538177Kick his legs out from under him!
Rolled 8 (1d12)>>1538177Princess, spray him in the eyes with some perfume!
Rolled 3 (1d12)"Eee!""It's alright, Lylyth - he'll have to get through me first!""Fool! It is not your death I seek!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>1538367Flip the knife back on him, then stab him in the groin.
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>1538367throw the princess at him!THEN stab him in the groin.
"Death to the Pri-"THWAP"I don't....*grunt*... think so. Where I come from, we're not... *grunt*... big fans of assassinations, even if it is unelected royalty!"
"They taught us how to...*grunt*... disarm a punk with a knife my first day at military academy... but I think I'll send this one back...*grunt*... postage due!"
Rolled 12 (1d12)"Your strength is failing, vermin! Your weak, unfit blood is running out, and with it your hope!""Not if...*grunt*... I have anything to say about it!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
>>1538475did he just rip the guy's hand off.Bad. Ass.
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>1538497Splash blood in his eyes!Then stab him with his own knife, hand still attached!
"Yield, and I will make you die quickly! You have no cause to protect the Princess!"
"Are you kidding? I could...*grunt*... keep this up all night! Besides...*grunt*... the way I figure it, as long as I keep my hand on my knife, there's... *grunt*... nothing you can do!"
"Perhaps...""Look out, primate, he has a-"
"Aaaaugh-!""Pathetic! You call yourself a warrior?"
"I call that a feint.""What-? Release my hands!"
"I'll take my knife back now!"SHLUNK"Yeeaargh!"
"Whoops, my mistake... I guess this one's my knife. But this is definitely yours. Here..."
"Let me give it back to you."SHLUNK
"Primate, that was astounding!"[painful grunting noise]"What-?"
"You are hurt!""It's nothing... just need to..."
"...get off my feet for a second-""Primate!"Roll a d12 and link to this post, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>1538967seduce some more, then inquire about the location of Grug
Rolled 8 (1d12)>>1538967Quietly bleed out because people are just lurking without good ideasOooooor give the princess a crash course in primate first aid?
"Primate! What should I do?""Lylyth... you're so... *cough*... lovely. Almost as lovely as Eve...""Eve? Who is Eve?""Listen... Grug... my friend... he's in the Sardak mine... need to... *cough*... need to free him..."
"You will not be freeing anyone, filthy primate-""Eeee-!"
"Do not be concerned... my esteemed Princess. We will dispose of this vermin. It will trouble you no more."
Rolled 9 (1d12)>>1539325Roll for the princess to dismiss the guards, she was just about to kill him herself. In the nude, for some odd reason.
"By what right do you enter my apartments? I am the daughter of the Emperor! Leave at once!"
"The time for appropriateness has passed, my esteemed Princess. I will summon your servants to groom you... and wash the horrid stench of that primate off of you. As for the primate..."
"...we shall enjoy it in our own way! It is to be given to the Sardak Champion! Perhaps it will make sport and last beyond the echo of the gong!"
>>1539372You're a bastard with the cliffhangers, LQ.Thanks for running.
That's it for tonight! Thank you to everybody for playing!I don't know if I'll be around next weekend, but now that summer's here, I should be able to run this at a much higher frequency than I've been doing!If you liked this episode, you can read almost all the last seven-plus years of Lego Quest on suptg along with all the pictures:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=lego%20questThe official Lego Quest wiki has writeups for Mike and Eve, and lots and lots of other stuff:http://legoquest.wikia.comAnd if you follow me on Twitter, you'll get tweeted whenever a new episode starts or an ongoing one starts back up:@EndmanOfFuturonThanks again!
Thanks for running!Lylyth is miles better than Eve by the way.
Meant to post this last night but I never got around to capping itMade me laugh when anon rolled the 12.>>1540250>>1539388Thanks for playing!