You are Bertha Von Screwletter and right now you have a problem.Well that's a tad misleading sorry. You are not facing a problem right now you are, that implies a problem. You have one in that you are holding it.That problem is Headliner, presumed (And false) motherland sniper. Shes wearing a uniform you know factually she never served in and you are demonstrating the problems behind doing so. In fact right now you are demostrating how a real sniper would understand to keep her head down by using her skull to block Mercenary 911's right hook.Which itself is a lesson for that girl that maybe its not a great idea to spray and pray in a battliefield around assets.You are a good teacher, a better person and the best general. You kick Headliner into Mercenary, knocking the two to the floor as you duck Major Minors elbow, the lady disengaging before you can counter.You sort of get how Lady is a fan favorite, besides her obvious pizzazz and cuteness. There is a clear large gap of skill for two reasons.One they are clearly less practiced, confident (Oh wait that's your fault oopsies (ᗒᏬᗕ) ) or even as fit or tall.Second, a group not used to fighting together is worse together then separate, that's why most fights use tagouts.These idiots were going to go nowhere if you weren't going to help them.Your a angel, you swear. ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭*Heat 2>Keep hurting the two on the floor 1d6>Focus on dealing with major minor 1d8>Wait for them to attack then ruin it 1dx
>>1617405>>Keep hurting the two on the floor 1d6
Welcome to the wonderful world of WWWThis is a world where Cuteness is power and what better way to exhibit this with oncamera CARNAGE?You are Blitzkrieg Betty, better known as General Bertha Von Screwletter. You were a ex millitary commander in the Third Shipping wars against the Rotten Dead, a terrorist cell of fujioshi necromancers trying to use dark sexusorcery before retiring because of a war wound rendering you mute and all the glompromancers were shot, by you.The game is simple, when you are in the ring I'll call for a 1dx roll for the next five posters. Matching numbers equal successes and can generate heat, which can be used to perform harder roles and eventually pin the opponnent.They can do the same.When heat is used you can put it into your signature moves which have bonus abbilities. We will discuss these when its decided to spend heat.None arena rolls (like apologizing to your proprietor for messing up the next match) are 1d100s.Last thread: >>1583957
>>1617405>Wait for them to attack then ruin it 1dxWe need to make our point as hard as we possibly can.
I hate to say it but it took longer for you guys to get a decision then it took for me to need to sleep.I can update at around 9-11 this week, its a bad gap i'll see if i can fit bad updates earlier but they'll be spelt badly.
>>1617405>Wait for them to attack then ruin it 1dx
>>1617405>>Focus on dealing with major minor 1d8
Someone break the tie.
I'll switch to break the tie, once I figure out which one I voted for in the first place...
>>1617852Switching to>>Keep hurting the two on the floor 1d6
Alrighty then. Lets get those 1d6s going so we will have something to work with when I get home.
Rolled 1 (1d6)>>1618388A
Rolled 1 (1d6)>>1618388
Rolled 6 (1d6)>>1618388
Rolled 3 (1d6)>>1618388
Rolled 5 (1d6)>>1618388
Rolled 4 (1d6)>>1618388
So a success and no heat. Lets see.
You grabb the chair you were sitting on earlier, having been kicked away during the initial fray.You lift it, slamming down on the pile of tangled bodies on the floor, the pair screaming as you wack them.You raise the chair a second time but you feel pressure on your back and stumble, catching your footing as you look behind you, Major lowering her foot.Speaking of feet a gleam catch your eyes and you notice the prosthetic foot on the winded Merc's left leg.That explains at least why she never was actually in the military. The Nippon navy doesn't accept anyone who is 'damaged'.Your hand touches your throat as you scowl, now your in a bad mood.>Teach Major that it's rude to interrupt, throw the chair at her. (1d4)> Lets hit Major with the chair too, add her to the pile. (1d8)>While they are down there you should do a turnbuckle move (1d10)
>>1619336>>Teach Major that it's rude to interrupt, throw the chair at her. (1d4)
Lets get them rolls in!
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>1619390
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>1619390
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>1619390
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>1619390Throw with the strength of HERA!!!!
That's one more heat, writing.
You stare at Major Minor, tilting your head as she backs off, looks like she doesn't want to engage you. Probbably thinks she'll lose.Also probably thinks shes out of your range just because she's eye level with you.You toss the chair at her, Major catching the folding chair just in time to miss your drop kick against it, the second salvo knocking the chair into her and her into the ropes. You scramble to your feet, dusting off yourself as you look at the pile on the floor. They are starting to catch their breath but seem to be still squirming. Or maybe they are hoping you would forget about them? :?Heat is three>You didn't, time for a TURNBUCKLE ATTACK!!!! (Put some heat in and lets get some panache into this)>Taunt them, wait for them to distangle themselves before attacking again (no d nothing)>Pick up a foe and continue to wail on them, (List a wrestler and roll 1d8)
>>1619694>>You didn't, time for a TURNBUCKLE ATTACK!!!! (Put some heat in and lets get some panache into this)
>>1619704Seconding.And do a double back flip onto them.
Alright how much heat are you putting in, the higher the number the more devastating the attack.
>>1619731How much we got? 2? If we got 2, then just 1
>>1619748We got 3
We'll i have to go to bed, but here we are.
You climb up to the top of the turnbuckle, facing the door as you flip behind you, soaring in the air as your boots meet flesh.The moonstomp strikes the pair of wrestling wannabes with all the force of neil armstrong, the two coughing as you immediately jump off them into a tackle of Major.The woman gasps as she is knocked off the ropes and off the ring, landing on the floor as her face kisses your shoulder.And Shoulder Von Screwletter always uses tongue.The woman crashes as you look behind you the others stumbling up rather quickly from the blow... or maybe they are learning better then to stand still in a submission match.You're proud of your soon to be slaves. They aren't totally retarded, you may actually make soldiers out of them.If they live at least.Heat is onePeoples tolerance: You win when each person individual gives up besides you.Major: Seemingly dazedHeadliner: Frustrated911: Very determind, also doesn't realize shes bleedingYou: Struggling to remember if you returned the K Team season 3 to the library. >Get a weapon>Melee again (1d10)>Trick em into fighting each other (1d12)
>>1622058>>Get a weapon
Bed again, well next week i hope things will be better.We just got to keep trying!
>>1622058>Melee again (1d10)Let's go for the bleeder.
>>1622058>>Melee again (1d10)
>>1622058>Melee again (1d10)
Roll 1d10If we go slow ill fill in the other rolls.
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>1625499
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>1625499
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>1625499
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>1625499
Rolled 8 (1d10)Doesn't look good.
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>1625499
You charge the group, starting with a quick kick to Mercenaries head, the lady ducks as you hear Major clime up from behind, you go for a swing, elbowing Merc in the gut as she crumples around you,arms bent around you...Till she grabs you in a lock, the woman groaning as she flips you into the air, you strugle to escape her grip as Mercenary crashes you into the floor.She and the others dogpile on you like a game of footsumo. Looks like their first turnaround.R1d4 to break hold, you got 1 heat.Time for sleep.
Rolled 1 (1d4)>>1625781
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>1625781
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>1625781
Rolled 3 (1d4)>>1625781whoops
Rolled 4 (1d4)>>1625781
Rolled 2 (1d4)>>1625781Rollin'.
Welp I took a long sleep, sorry, hold on.So,4 2s. And a pair of ones.Okay.I still feel like shit too. Geeze
You smile, look they are actually getting somewhere now. It's always good to see your rookies prosper, even though they are technically not yours yet and they are your senior.But who are you kidding with those details.You open your jaw, bitting Headliner in the arm, blood filling your mouth as the girl squirms, giving you the opening to kick out.The three girls fall off as you push off from the floor, flipping the pile like you were a spatula under a hamburger patty.You stand up, dusting yourself off as you turn to the group under you, spitting out headliner's blood as you watch them stumble back up. You rub your head as Headliner grabs her wounded arm, you got a headache now.Maybe this will actually be a contest, miracles do happen.Heat 7>Deal with one of them (Pick a target)>Focus on ruining their teamwork, hurting all of them in a melee. 1d8>Use a move.
>>1632833>>Deal with one of them (Pick a target)Major Minor
>>1632833>>Focus on ruining their teamwork, hurting all of them in a melee. 1d8
>>1632833>Deal with one of them (Pick a target)Major Minor
Alright roll 1d6s and vote on your heat number. Zero is a option
Rolled 3 (1d6)>>16329753 heat
Rolled 2 (1d6)>>1632975You need rules in OP or something.But for now I'll follow anon above and say 3 HEAT
Rolled 4 (1d6)>>16329750
If you want I can roll the remaining two?
Rolled 1, 4 = 5 (2d6)
So one success and three heat.Writing.
While the others are still getting there bearings you charge Major, the mock officer doubling over as your elbow meets guts, she curls around you, letting you grab her left arm.You yank it to the right, dislocating the arm as she is sent flying to the side. With a grin you yank forward, the major stumbling into your lariat the girl knocking straight into the floor.You see the other two backup, transfixed by the brutality as you check the girl, her eyes unresponsive but the girl still breathing. Yup she's out for the count.You suppose that counts as a submission.>Intimidate the others into backing down, make them give up>Attack them, continue the fight.
>>1633474>Intimidate the others into backing down, make them give up
>>1633474>>Intimidate the others into backing down, make them give up
>>1633474>>Attack them, continue the fight.
Roll 1d10 on being cute. ( *.*)
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>1633504
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>1633504
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>1633504
Rolled 10, 3 = 13 (2d10)
You smile as you kick Major aside, holding your hand out in a salute.The other two match it, blood dripping from your wound as you end your salute, hopping off the ring as the doors open.The fourth member, the manager if you recall, walks into th room,looking around at the mess you made. "Excuse me, what is going on her?" Her voice is light, somewhat nervous.But you recognize it.You were wrong, you thought everyone in this group were just posers mocking your military but turns out they do have on actual agent.Agent Cia was the top of the line in the special forces, working as a agent and spy to subvert foes behind enemy lines.But shes not Nippon, she's in the Holy Motherland's "Maintenance department".Also she never retired.> ( >.<)=3 [POUT! You have umbrage!]> ( O.O) Just quitely leave from the back door before she sees you and report this.> ( 9 `.`)9 Fite me
>>1633971>( 9 `.`)9 Fite me
>>1633971>> ( >.<)=3 [POUT! You have umbrage!]
You stomp over to her, face red in rage... also in exertion that was quite the work out you certainly did do the training you were looking forward to.Cia backs up, "Oh um, have we meet miss."You grab her by the tie and drag her to eye level, staring at her before she sighs."Fine." Cia says, dropping the cutsey act. "I guess someone was going to catch on, didn't expect it to be the Black Goat of Nippon." Your lips curl as you stare, the girl holding her hands up in a form of surrender. "Easy you don't want to cause a incident here by murdering a foreign tourist in the middle of her own gym do you. "You frown as you let go, the woman adjusting her tie. "Now I suppose you have questions."> ( >.>) The fuck?> ( o.o)-/ You don't the military does.> ( ^u^) Actually you don't care, so kindly get the fuck outta here you communist robot fucker.> ( ?,?) So who are these squares I just beat up?
>>1634476> ( >.>) The fuck?> ( ?,?) So who are these squares I just beat up?> (ò_ó) And why are they so damn sloppy if someone like you is here?
You stare at her as she coughs. "Okay so I guess I owe you some explanation."Yeah she does."Basically every nation has agents like me in another nation you know that, its so we keep track of stuff and make sure you guys don't above synthemoe technology."She means 'use'. Ever since the holy motherland discovered the means to create mechanical lifeforms they've been very possessive over the means to it, given they literally worship their mechanicommunist overlord its understandable. And by that you mean very annoying."So I was here to prevent a jingoistic attitude, I was going to set up a millitary stable and make them heel turn once they are recognized so that people will go into more pacifistic avenues."You point at the other three. "Oh they arent behind anything, we don't want to be too obvious. They are just hopeful patriots your millitary failed. All they want to do is get in the army and yet they weren't good enough for you. Just three more names on your near infinite list of people your country failed.As for their skill, not everyone's a monster like you. You should give being normal for a chance, it may suit you."Stupid diplomatic immunity making murder illegal.> ( >.>) Fine, now shoo.> ( o.o) Too bad im in charge now, that makes you my floozy.
[We interrupt this program to bring you a important commercial message]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdvDcjmx1YIA black man walks on stage, gold glitzing on him and the man wrapped in pink robes, he smiles, a diamond studded grill wrapped round his teeth."Hello I'm Inquisitor Spoopy and I have been pink for five years."The man walks stage left, the camera following him as he poses on a scenic river."Down here in the Kangdom of God our fair countrys been infested with all sorts of vermin, mechanical synthimoes, those weird awoo shits, and even worse Nippon culture."The man grins. "I don't know about you but if my balls were not already cut by Pope Allaallawhatsu I'd have gladly chopped them off instead of having to see some two d cartoon of a man trying to fuck his sister, but here we are. I want to make a difference but instead I've been forced to wear these dumb pink robes."The man turns, smiling again. "That's where you come in, if you call 1-8re-mov-pink you can donate to the cause of Removing Pink. Just fifty dollars will get you this novelty tote bag and let you rest easy knowing you helped glorious genocide and getting m out of this stupid outfit."The man laughed as a logo popped up.Remove Pink: Because for every problem there is a final solution.*Spoopy is not pink, a weeb, gay, a communist, and certainly not for bully. Results may vary.[Good night everyone, I'm going snoozies]
>>1634703>( o.o) Too bad im in charge now, that makes you my floozy.
>>1634910This man seems like he would be a great sponser for us, let's meet him and see about a deal
>>1634703>> ( o.o) Too bad im in charge now, that makes you my floozy.
>>1635029Second. This fabolously pink balls-less man seems trustworthy
>>1635029I third this wonderful statement
>>1635029fourth'd.pink is worst grill
>>1634703>> ( o.o) Too bad im in charge now, that makes you my floozy.>>1634703
>>1634703>> ( o.o) Too bad im in charge now, that makes you my floozy.And kiss her to show dominance
You smile as you thumb to Mercenary, the woman taking a deep breath before walking up to the agent."Um actually boss, Bertha won a match with us just now, she's in charge of the stable."You grin at her as the agent's face fell. "Wait, you can't do that I didn't agree to this.""Aktully, you said vat vou did not 'vant the spotlight' and vat vou vould vet us make our own decisions." Headliner said, her accent far thicker then the trained agents. "So vhile vou did sign with us as manager, vou do not have veading vote."Cia's face fell as you lean close to her, your teeth glitting in the light. Your as happy as a lion is in front of a perfectly exposed zebra throat.You hold out your hand, your new floozy reluctantly grabbing it as you tug her close to you and give her a kiss.The old Tops shake, gets them every time.The woman squirms in your kiss as a slight click was heard, you push her away as she touches the dog collar on her throat, the keys to it dangling in your right index finger.You wink as your newest pawn pouts at this predicament. You look at the gym, a mass of chaos, beaten mutts and a leashed bitch.Oh and you knocked some girl out.This is a pretty big messBut you can work with this. This'll be fun! ( *u*)>END OF EPISODE 2, stay tuned for episode three where we face off with our second match, what deadly waifus await us today? How will the www handle your new stable? Does Cia plan horrible revenge or is she a creepy masochist who gets off on you leashing her? TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR THE EXCITING CONCLUSION!Coming up next it's Hex Maniac 12 part 4!
>>1635919Love this quest and can't wait for it to continue.