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Rolled 43 (1d100)

Some days are bad days, some days are REALLY bad days, and some days are good days. Lately you haven't been having much luck. What with all the monsters, pirates, unfortunate incidents, and other events. Just as you have had some good ideas and are trying to clean up the mess created by the gravity anomalies while at the same time helping out the colony.

Some old customers of yours showed up...and they aren't exactly happy.

"At first when you bought that pirate hunter ship...we unlike others weren't concerned. After all we had a nice relationship did we not? But then we got word...that you are no longer in the food business. Suddenly we find ourselves thinking well shit maybe those other guys had good reason to be concerned after all. And now that i am here personally...I can definitely see that we have reason to be concerned," states the pirate who was escorted by other pirates.

....yeah today is definitely not going to be a good day.

Welcome to Cape and Colony Quest where you play a charisma hero in a rough galaxy on a colony.

What do?
>Try to talk your way out of it
>run away
>Discuss business
>Avoid the topic
>Prepare to fight
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>Try to talk your way out of it
Well since you are here personally I can show you my problem.

You see that hole in the middle of where my shop was? That's gonna take some time. I gotta a friend fixing the coolers and I hope I will keep up with my loyal customers' needs by hand till the machine is fixed. That was my bad for not sending word out.

The reason for the ship was I knew it could handle the area and I wanted to add new product to my list for y'all. You know something like buy this amount of food you get a deal on materials or vice versa. Plus I felt bad not being able to drop stuff off for people. What if my customers need food and couldn't pick it up. I needed to start adding options. You know, Grown the business and give better service.

>Discuss business
Speaking of business. Since we have rep with each-other and your here. Would you know anyone that is good with mines or robots? I gotta make sure the new building will stand up and keep the bots in top shape. I can try through my friend, but hey if you know someone I can work on a better deal for goods and services later.

If not at least let me offer what hospitality I still can.

(I hope this is good.)
Rolled 31 (1d100)

Rolled 56 (1d100)

Rolled 58 (1d100)

"And you didn't think to tell us? I had to learn through the guys who bought up the last of your stock to find out about the problem. A BIG problem for us pirates."

"Coulda gotten yuh some new digs."

"...Idiot that's like expecting a drug lab some new digs when their previous lab blew up. Which guess what INCLUDED THEIR FUCKING EQUIPMENT."

"But we could help with tha-"

"When was the last time you heard of farming pirates?"


"Yeah I didn't think so. As for you supplier. Here is the deal you need space we can hook you up with some warehouses easy. Especially for those coolers given your need to..rebuild where your gonna put them to begin with. I can send word to the pirates to see if anyone has...looted some cargo which just so happens to include some food processor equipment. No promises with the result though...but here is what will need to happen. You can slow down in production but it CANNOT stop. You stop production we stop keeping people off your back and being nice. You know what fuck being nice from now on. I don't believe your bullshit about that pirate hunter ship and on top of that the lack of supplies...no more being nice."

"I don't care about those fucking minerals. Raw mineral stuff is for the lowest of pirate scum. Like part time lazy has pirate miners who can't be arsed to do the work themselves so they just steal it from other miners and claim its their own."

"As for rent for that warehouse...no rent so long as we pirates can use it to move supplies. I'll be nice and make sure nothing illegal gets moved through there. Would hate to have our supply pipeline get shut down just for some extra cash."

"As for miners...I know more then a few people who used to work mines. Cheap prison labor is REAL popular and cheap after all. I wont make any promises about them going back to mining. They tend to hate that experience...a lot. As for bots I know more then a few bot specialists. Hell one of our favorite sports is bot fighting. So that one is easy but it will cost you. Those smart specialists types aren't exactly cheap as dumb muscle or as nearly common. So it comes down to how much your willing to pay and what your looking for exactly with them. When you decide just leave me a message and one of my boys will deliver a dossier."

"For the miners your gonna have to try to convince them yourself. Heh good luck with that and we'll be keeping an eye on you from now on. Since you just had to ruin our perfectly good relationship."

"Aw man food is SO gonna end up more costly then getting high," complained some nearby pirates.

"Oh shut up you idiots that is what you morons get for driving all the fucking food farmers out of business. Who would of thought that there would be a food problem? Goddamn it worse part about this stinking stupid is while its piss easy to hide in its also chalk full of goddamn dumbass pirates who anywhere else would of gotten caught long ago. Fuck I hate having to make that choice so fucking much."
Rolled 86 (1d100)

"Either deal with a system full of dumb asses that is easy to hide it or system hard to hide in that isn't full of fucking dumb asses. Ah...which reminds me security may be a problem. When people get hungry they get desperate. So uh...we'll help keep your business safe but your colonies farmers...and fishers. They are gonna be trouble thanks to you and its absolutely your fault. You ever wondered WHY the pirates didn't really go directly to them?"


"Because we had YOU and you would even go through the trouble of making the food ready for long term storage. So long as there was enough processed food...no problem and they don't have our kind of relationship and if that causes further decreased production...your gonna have an even bigger problem and it wont just be us then."

What do?
>Suck up to the pirates
>Get back to business
>Hurry to the fishing docks
>Hurry to the farms
>Go to the militia
>Go to the townhall
Rolled 85 (1d100)

At this point I can't see a reason to suck up. We messed up in not giving a heads up. They have a right to be angry with no food.

Now it's time to give the commander and Aegis Security a heads up. Get everything ready from the storm coming.

We get our boys on food and shipping. If we have any why to draw in help, we should. Stuff the warehouses the pirates set up fast. Hope to God our friend gets done soon or the pirates get equipment for us.


Not sure what else to say about the ship. We can't show the quality of the processed materials. That will start a gold rush. We should be able to load the storage and deliver.

Tho it's better to gather and sell the ores.

I think that's everything. We need money to hire and that means the sell has to go through once Rel is done.

Then with the money we get repairs, miner engineers, robot repair, and more security. After than more shop growth.


On yeah may May as well go through the Surplus we have get the turrets out and the militia weapons.

Buy Electronics for more turrets from the paramilitary. So much to do and people to talk to. Lucky we go a co-manger to help.
Rolled 39 (1d100)

So first, go to the militia to warn them and let them warn the farmers and fishers?

Rolled 55 (1d100)

Sorry been in hospital
Rolled 88 (1d100)

Yeah. Give warning to those that can act, Get our boys working, and go through our surplus to better arm who we can.

We'll probably have to oversee the fight. Since we are a social hero it will help with the large fight. Our co-manger can guild the ship in our place.

Then Rel does what they do.
What makes you think there's going to be a big fight? If pirates start attacking farms, don't you think they'll try to grab what they want and leave before help can show up?

If we really want to help, we need to put all our efforts into getting our food production back up, so the pirates won't want to attack the farms or fisheries.
Rolled 55 (1d100)

If the pirates raid the farms and end up killing the farmers. We don't have food to pack. Then there is the damages on top of it.

Not to mention hungry people are crazy. They'll take till they think proper again and then some.

So since our MC started a hero path to stop the Colony from getting raided by bad people. It's best we help defend and make use of our skills in large groups. The manger and our gang has the shop. All we can do is ask others to help pack with the little money we do have.

As for help showing up. That's why we are warning the people who protect the Colony. We have the criminal scanner we bought to help and our personal star Fisher scanner. We'll have some heads up. Plus the few dense we got should but buy time to move people into place.

As for getting production back up. Money... Also the pirates that stopped by are asking if anyone looted machines for us. Also of friend is fixing our main machine plus the coolers.

So now it's wait the storm our and hope everything holds.

Next time this kinda thing happens we need to ask the pirates for help. Since we are apparently their main food source.

It's a shame they know about the ship, but it wasn't like we hid it in the first place.

... trying to think of anything else. We have the para and pirate surplus for weapons. The paramilitary is here to help.

Our only other aid is our customers at this point and understandably they are pissed. Not sure of anything else. Because I doubt outsider fear will hold for long. So just gotta hope God has our back and boost those religious turrets.

We'll unless we want to add cultist to the mix.
Rolled 24 (1d100)

So what is everyones' thoughts?

I feel like I'm over thinking and end up with a wall of text for little reason.

All good. Everything alright?

(Was it another roo?)
Rolled 83 (1d100)

"Why the hell is it your ALWAYS in the center of it lately and all in a row too. So don't give me any bullshit about it just being a 'coincidence.' Even a idiot wouldn't believe that excuse and oh for the love of god moving all that AA is gonna be such a fucking pain. Pirates never showed much interest in the farms and boats for now. Somehow you just to be in the middle of it getting ruined...ah fuck covering all that ground isn't gonna be easy with our limited resources. There is a reason why we largely focused around the colony."

Aegis Security meanwhile sends a short message that additional AA will be delivered shortly and surface to orbit weaponry is being prepared.

Unfortunately storing a large amount of prepared foodstuff...isn't exactly possible given your lack of food processing equipment. Drying would be a nightmare in this climate and the gravity accident also wrecked your brand new smokehouse. Which leaves the freezer that is getting repaired...problem is you don't know if the pirates have that much space in their freezers.

The selling of ores require its transfer to interested parties...which is problematic doing in a pirate stuffed to the gills with pirates to say the least.

Otherwise anons still gotta agree on the kind of engineer you want so the pirates will send their dossier. You also gotta try to convince former prison miners to get back to mining for you...

Rel meanwhile is...occupied with something or another. That AI always seems rather busy. Like yourself but more...your not really sure what.

What do?
Rolled 92 (1d100)

Hm... Rel we are gonna need to attempt selling of ore. I know the manger found some pirates for quick cash and has a satellite on the way. How do you feel about it?

I'm thinking we can at least find a pirate miner faction to make a deal with. They get a cut and in turn help insure the mine is good and we get their expertise. If we luck out with ex-corp miners they could have blue prints for expansion. Maybe we can work out a way to sell ore safely and not risk the ship viva the miners as well.

Just hope our manger doesn't trigger them.

Once we get that money we can go shopping for equipment for the shop (water processing, food processing, and may as well add alcohol, Rel's recommendation) and your bots. If any is left over we hire some robot engineers.


So what kinda engineer do we want? Thankfully not all pirates are evil, but right now the nest is kicked. The is hiring our friend full time and get some people from he's contacts. Tho that could be hard to get people here. Maybe the AI ship and our mats. will work in our favor for that. Could garner some technophiles.
Possible Brain Decay from an infection starting in my ear and now spreading to my jaw/face. It weeps black stuff and blood. Not great, so loads of pain killers and scans

I hope the best for ya.


Rolled 83 (1d100)

Nice thing about being on loads of painkillers is flying as high as a kite and nobody can blame you. Admittedly having worthwhile thoughts can be difficult. As your stuck having to deal with the pain cloud, the high cloud, or both.

I cannot for the life of me figure out how all those famous people managed to be write better stuff while so high. Seems like it would compromise your mind more then...free it.

Staring to seem like anyone who shows up in these threads end up cursed somehow irl.

"Pirates untrustworthy...but rich and at least they always pay in cash upfront. Can't say the same for the corps. Very similar those two...but not many willing to talk about it. As far as AI have deciphered there is a 92% similarity between crime groups and corporations. With 7.5% room of error regarding legal matters. Only sufficienlty large difference that causes a margin of error but margin is smaller then originally anticipated by AI systems."

"Rather deal with pirates always get paid that away unless they never bothered to bring the money to begin with. Damn corps have a way of moving and creating money. Difficult to ensure access of payment and proper value."

"Pirate miners likely to be hostile. Most prison miners were forced to mine. Unlikely to find willing participents. Advise seeking more valuable but still prisoner personel and robotic mining engineers. They would not have been as harshly treated. Easier to convince especially users or maintainers of robotics technology for prison mines. They would only been exposed to miner bot upkeep and repair as well as directing of mining drones. Distance to work done makes them more...pliable to being convinced."

"Pirates love booze. Not to difficult to create distilleries especially with newly provided space. Likely would enjoy any booze that doesn't come out of their own...stills. Get you drunk yes but not pleasant to drink."
Rolled 51 (1d100)

Alright lets set up the deal with pirates wanting mats. co-manger was talking about.

Get the money. Send word out for robotic mining engineers and hopefully our pirate 'friends' will have good picks. Tho I think it would be safer to try our friend's picks first.

Buy the bots our friend has and that Rel agrees to. Next get our shop needs from the pirates. Hopefully we can get a good deal on food and water machines. Then get a distillery set up, if money is left over.

If we are lucky we'll have some for payments and turret parts. Get our defenses improved.


I assume we will need to put an action to going through the surplus. Probably best we check for better plans in there for defenses.
Rolled 86 (1d100)

Drunkzilla demands a pirate party
>throw a bitchin pirate party on our destroyed former business get a pirate dj and request he play "do bad muzik's greatest hits" lots of fresh food and invite some of the cooler locals so that we may improve relations with the pirates and the colony.
Rolled 50 (1d100)

Rolled 1 (1d100)

Do it
AHAHAHAHA...this is a rule of three for Diplo right?...if we're counting Slate stuff...I dunno my memory is buggered atm
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Rolled 21 (1d100)

It's time!
I hope its because we are all having a great time and we accidentally go Outsider for a party trick. that's be amusing. Everyone thinks its actually after us or worse/funnier still Our best customer thinks we actually are an outsider...

Then again maybe it just gets so outta hand anarchy breaks out...good for rep though as the cops might think we set the pirates up? Who knows?

Outsider party track
Rolled 75 (1d100)

No it resets when it comes to a different quest. thing is though...your guy is a charisma hero who just rolled a 1...on charisma roll.

So uh...heheheheh.

You know when those epic clusterfucks trigger because you rolled a 1?

If you had been paying closer attention...the ones involving heroes were worse then those that didn't. Especially if its a good field of theirs...which was usually the case.

See the heroic effect goes both ways.

hahahhaahhaaha. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH.

Fuck this is gonna take some thinking...and uh sort of spoiler but not really. It is a mechanic that is there if you ever bothered to pay attention to those kinda details.
Rolled 84 (1d100)

"Alright lets get ready for a part-where the fuck is everybody? Eh probably a good thing given how this gonna be full of pirates soon. Already sent the invites and everything. Ah now that I think of it the job wouldn't include stuff like getting ready for a party...fuck I knew i should a went over those contracts personally."

"Ah owner didn't think you would be here," comments the manager who makes. "Ah I see your also preparing for the festival eh? I will admit its my first time with this kinda event so uh...going with a pirate theme huh?"

"...Wait festival?" Oh fuck that's right that one festival for the goddess was suppose to start soon. It's a huge event about crossing the rivers of stars and celebration. Well at least you wont need to worry about the booze....wait a second. "Hey uh...what day is that party on?"

"Oh starts today suppose to last awhile though. Why?"

At this point you started...pouring sweat.

"Uh sir you feeling alright?"

"Oh its um...uh...so uh...how mad do you think the militia commander is going to be...if pirates attend?"

"Well more then a little livid and troubled. They usually don't celebrate with the locals. After all they prefer more...unacceptable entertainments. Why?"

"Oh...fuck...I am uh...right in the middle of this too. Oh at this rate I am so gonna get myself killed."

"....Oh sir please PLEASE don't tell me you invited the fucking pirates! You any IDEA how upset the militia commander is with you already? I mean fuck talk about pouring wood and now oil on the fire."

"How was I suppose to fucking remember I been busy as shit lately and shit keeps happening that i somehow keep managing to find myself in the middle of. I mean...it can't be THAT bad right?"

Meanwhile on pirate broadcasts...that at the very least expanded over the entire star system.

"GREETINGS YOU FUCKING PIRATE SCUM HOW ARE ALL MY DICKS DOING? AND CUNTS FOR YOU FEW PIRATE LADIES! At least I really fucking hope its cunts down there...anyway I got some GRAND fucking news. We pirates just got invited to party with the ONE place in this entire star system we ain't allowed to party in!"

"AND IT GETS EVEN BETTER! The sponsor and invitee to ALL us pirate scum is NONE other then our dear supplier who doesn't mind us pirate folks. AND EVERYBODY KNOWS WHO GOTS THE MOST FOOD RIGHT?"

"SO PREPARE TO PARTY YOUR FUCKING ASSES AND DON'T FORGET TO BRING EXTRA BOOZE AND DRUGS. ESPECIALLY DRUGS for us pirate fellas as those uptight assholes aren't about to keep much handy! And for you pirates outside the system feel FREE to stop on by!"

"But remember this is OUR fucking star system you cause trouble and its trouble with ALL OF US! Now who is ready to PARTY!"

"Finally get to see all those uptight assholes and cunts unwind for once...oh this is gonna be GOOD!" Finishes the pirate radio broadcaster before it switched back to music.



"Oh this is bad. This was local radio right?"

"Full star system and that is a vast understatement."
Rolled 49 (1d100)

Enjoy the teaser...I gotta figure out the rest still.

So you anons best come up with some good fucking plans real quick or this is just gonna get a hell of a lot worse.

have fun planning!

Rolled 41 (1d100)

I suggest we just go and walk into the Militia prison and just let ourselves into a cell then start banging our head off the wall until he shows up. Tell the manager to run things for a bit.

When he shows up just tell him "I think i'm cursed. So i'm just going to sit around for awhile and see if anything happens"
Rolled 97 (1d100)

So Rel how fast do you think we can hit up the Sun?

More importantly can we do it stealthy?

... It's to buy time and I don't want anything to find out. It's a big Secret.

(Time to cripple FLT. Unless we 1 that as well and just end up killing everyone.)

If not I'll hold off on it.

(We put the Star Fisher FLT in, right?)
Rolled 52 (1d100)

"Not as quickly as you would thing. Many hazards must be circumvented."

"With the size of this ship? Never.

We are not equipped with any stealth tech as well.

no you didn't.
Rolled 80 (1d100)

Then what did we offer to the ship? I know we didn't just offer the weapon.

I could have sworn we did.


So that will limit things if we can't hide that action.

That means trapping pirates. Because there is going to be a lot of pissed people, soon, I'm sure.

Alright Rel time for a hush hush question. I know that there was another AI on the ship. An overseer, if I'm not mistaken, do you feel you learn enough to trap our not loyal customers in a wealther control environment?

Because I'm thinking we can cuz hell in the sky something I have. Assuming I can get the river God's help in protecting the people.

I think we can at least get help removing the MAD pirares, if any.


God will using the terformer for this going to piss some people off. I can only hope our customers will under stand. Granted this could just make us a bigger target.
Rolled 5 (1d100)

Crap I could hit the Rel's nerve wrong with that question... (maybe?)

Granted I assume the overseer is them or a child for all know. Master mind AI I sure have copies or way to start anew.
Rolled 54 (1d100)

Trying for other ideas. A bit low on energy and uncertainty.

... I guess there's just making everyone find some kinda of agreement. We are ether gonna get raided for food or we can work things out before we all go hungry.

So choosing to not be under handed could be good. The party is an ice breaker to get the colony understand. The volume of incoming pirates could be the wake up call we need.

Be like they'll ether have fun and like us to the point of help or they will come back an take their wants. Let's work things out and be welcoming to our Neighbors.

Then we come to gather and end up feeding the whole system as Zealot farmers.

God... That is gone be had to do. We'll Well we have the hero for talking people down. Just be a good guy and get people to just at least accept each other.
Well seeing as our party has gotten out of hand I think we should prep for that, the Godzilla side of me thinks we could reformat part of our ship to be the most bitchin party venue ever, so dope that the pirates wouldn't come into the colony proper, interested colonists could swing by, I'm thinking we could buy our way out of this mess by providing more food and entertainment than the pirates need, not an easy order but we could even organize a robo prize fight with our first mate taking all comers.
Rolled 30 (1d100)

Down side with going over board on the party is the lack of savings on our part. Tho we have charm and friends on the colony. We can for sure ask them for help.

The ship would be a death trap since it lacks good life support. Plus it's a notorious pirate killer.

The robot fighting could be good entertainment and maybe win us some engineers.
Rolled 41 (1d100)

Okay so we did give all the tech we could to the ship. I wasn't sure if it was all or a few. I thought it was just a few things. I seemed like a bad idea to give the the ship all the stuff off the bat, but leap of faith.

"Set up our tech on board (all that we can) Specifically the Star Eater and the Harvester so it can be deployed where it's needed"

The show of action going through.

Ether way I doubt it help to much with the star stopper plan.


Still to sure of the best plan, but nothing is perfect. I think it's best we push for making this party work and get the colony to work something out. We fight or we make a deal. I think the deal will work better versus trying to fight it out. At least it will give us more friends to help hold off the hungry pirates.
We do need to contain the party somehow, maybe create the pirate equivalent of a "faire ground" on an unincorporated area of the planet, gambling, robo fighting, whores, and we can possibly use the info we have about the incoming pirate raid to get local farmers to consign their crops to us not only so we could protect them but we could even set up a vendor village(where the pirates can use the fair tokens we would award as gambling winnings) think post apoc county fair ) like sturgis biker ralley+ the gathering of the juggalos +edc x the fact that science has come a far way)

Not only would a fare ground be beneficial in the future to the colony but it would get us good will with the government politically, if we got a job in the government as say, the head of the parks program or presidant of the chamber of commerce we would be that much closer to making mayor.
Rolled 46 (1d100)

Hm it would be a rushed job, but I bet we could do it.

There isn't much in the way of drink here. So unless we luck out on something this will be a very dry party.

Think we can get some vendors to sponsor the party? It could get us more food and drink for sure.
Pirates drink trash anyways, seeing as we can't preserve things anymore why not whip up a quicky batch of pruno.
Rolled 73 (1d100)

We can do it by hand.

So prison wine? I bet we can do better, but it will work for speed. Just need surgary things and yeast.

Hm what else... no drugs to add. Unless we get something for church ceremony to use.

I guess it would we a good time to call friends and helpers to set up the fair, drinks and food. Work on getting vendors to help and let townn hall know, for safety.
Still no plan huh? You know I was being nice with allowing you to come up with some plans?

It helped I was also stuck...not happy with the second half so I am gonna restart it. Gotta be fitting for a heroic critical fail.
Rolled 57 (1d100)

I think most players are busy, sick or unknown. At least the ones in discord.

Your main fight tactician is out. I've done what I can between work and sleep. Feeling good about the plan with Godzilla.

I just wish we had more people to plan with. Yet it is hard to get them, as you know.
Rolled 28 (1d100)

Sorry Genie, am back now.

Honestly I think our best bet is to Work ahead of time. First we do a few good deeds around town to build up a little nice rep but then before the party comes around we go talk to the commander of the Militia so that
A) he don't get surprised by Pirates
B) We will have the initiative when it comes to explaining stuff. We explain that come customer miss understood something and now its a cluster fuck. But don't worry we can keep this under control.
C) We move the party to the edges of the wilderness. We have fires, a stage, loads of tarps for cover. This gives them more room to be destructive, moves them further from town, scares the shit outta the wildlife and keeps alot of it out of the Commanders hair. He can then focus on just defending the Party he's got to guard. We can also make a clearing with a DIY cage so pirates can fight it out for their own fun? lets turn this riot on the horizon into a blessing of sorts....or atleast neutral
Rolled 19 (1d100)

We did help a little with the expansion to gain favor. No harm in doing more. Although I think we should still get vendors and the like lined up sooner that later. So at least lets send word out for them.

The commander already thinks there will be pirates coming to attack. We may want to say something sooner to keep them from attacking any 'guest' coming to soon.

We may want to hire more hands just to get some kind of drink made. Just in case the vendors don't work out.

We can ask Rel for any good spots since they checked the planet out for resources. They may know a fine place. If not best we send some scouts out.
Rolled 15 (1d100)

I concur. Ok forget the bit of doin more favors, more call them in to get some stuff to make this work. I think the Outskirts plan is a keeper though. I agree with the commander stuff...Maybe frame it as turning their chaotic side against them. They won't attack if they like it here.
Rolled 64 (1d100)

Does anyone have a plan? I'm willing to support, but not really sure what to do.

Ask our friends for advice.

Don't need to rely on them for every decision, but when we're stumped its a good time.
Rolled 82 (1d100)

That past few post are the plan being made. We just have to agree on the way to follow up.

The goal, I believe, is to see if we can turn this party into a way to save the colony from the hungry system full of pirates.

We need to send notice out to all parties/beings this effects. Gather together all the people we can get to set up the fair grounds. Get vendors to sponsor it with their many products. The employees of ours will have to keep storing food. So will likely need help in making extra food and drinks.

Once this party kicks off we start working on making buddies and deals with the captains for the machines we need and extra (distillery parts, farming tools, fishing gear, and so on). Assuming our loyal customers haven't already. Tho having more will mean we can get more out.

Once the party is over we focus on setting up the gear and expanding the town to fit everyone. Hoping we bought the time we need viva new friends and old.


Things working in our favor are the Manger and Rel's battle arena. Our first mate will be star of the show. We'll need more entertainment for sure. Then there is our charm. We'll get this to work and get loads of people to help.
Seems like we don't have any other ideas (I do kinda have another one but its REALLY dumb) so unless somebody else speaks up I think we can combine all of the last few posts into an action and get to voting
I concur, wanna tell us anyways in spoiler/nodice?
set up an ambush, actually we need to make sure that the militia doesn't do this behind our backs
Good point include this in the plan
I'm not exactly a plan writer, I'm drunk, on coke, and ate a 100mg thc edible that is starting to kick in. I am good for shit talking and rolling some dice. I will try to stay present seeing as the game is alive but no promises.
Rolled 38 (1d100)

Yeah fair enough.

Honestly I think our best bet is to Work ahead of time.
1) Make sure the Commander don't try to set up an ambush and say we're luring them outside of town for this party, we cant afford another scrap this soon
2) We will have the initiative when it comes to explaining stuff. We explain that come customer miss understood something and now its a cluster fuck. But don't worry we can keep this under control. Maybe ask what happened to her friend because the newly RAMPANT AI might~ have done something.
3) We move the party to the edges of the wilderness. We have fires, a stage, loads of tarps for cover. This gives them more room to be destructive, moves them further from town, scares the shit outta the wildlife and keeps alot of it out of the Commanders hair. He can then focus on just defending the Party he's got to guard. We can also make a clearing with a DIY cage so pirates can fight it out for their own fun? lets turn this riot on the horizon into a blessing of sorts....or at least neutral. We use all the bots we can to help set it up etc. Also look around and say go to the places we know shady people hang out to get what booze and drugs we can.
When it comes to the commander sell we can say we've avoiding a fight and with his help the religious stuff can not be interrupted, even better he can get a look at what a lot of the pirates look like....but under no circumstances send people on or try to ambush them or the whole darn place will burn, we only just fixed this place, Hell maybe we might be able to find the location of a certain missing militia girl for him.... We can use this event to build rep with people and increase our web of command...

maybe we should bait a bunch of monsters into the area so the party gets called off or side tracked into a monster hunt and after party?
Rolled 76 (1d100)

Rolled 93 (1d100)

You don't want to call our friends to help or any vendors who may want to sell to pirates?

I'm sure there is a drink company that would make bank some where.

Rel may know a spot for us to set up since they scanned the planet for resources. Saving time to scout out the wilderness.
Rolled 73 (1d100)

combine these and we're set. and its consensus
Rolled 9 (1d100)

Yes, with our powers combined we made...

uh... Mr. Shop Owner / Masked Hero / Bringer of all the is wrong / Purger of Skin walkers... not sure there is a few titles.
I know it aint accurate but i really got Brood vibes from these fuckers and are the bane of my darn existence.
Rolled 93 (1d100)

"Ah the Commander he is out right now. This is a prerecorded message before you are transferred over to AEGIS Security for the duration of the holiday. Leave a message if you wish but do not expect a return until the end of said holiday."

*BEEP* "Aegis Security Hotline for...ERROR Base registry is absent and currently under construction. We apologize for any problems this might cause. Operator will be on the line shortly."

Que annoying corp music jingle and advertisement breaks between it.

"Operator here what is your problem."

"Uh...what about the militia?"

"We have been transferred temporary authority for the holiday to give the militia a break. Due to the short duration we figured it wouldn't be a problem despite our currently lacking resources...we were wrong. Something has the pirates riled up real bad. ETA is...ongoing. There doesn't appear to be a beginning or end Sir."

...Well fuck. "You aren't planning an ambush right?"

"Currently if pirate forces remain within pirate infested quarters there will be no problem. If they should breach it on the other hand our officers and strategists are currently coming up with plans for such contingencies."

"So what if I need to get a message to the militia commanders?"

"Find them in person and deliver it."

"fine," that was when you hung up and swirled around asking a question to your 'former' best customer a petite little woman with shocking strength and balance. "Say you wouldn't happen to know of anything strange occurred with your friend? A uh certain rampant AI might have done something..."

"Wait how the hell did you know I would be here?"

"Well given how absolutely terrible this day has proven I knew you were gonna show up."

"One of those days huh? Can you see why now I wanted you to stay away from her and nice try with the diversionary tactics."

"As much as I hate to admit it...I do. I really...really fucking do. You were right all along...but I am just so fucking lonely and she is great."

"Well...yeah she is but the thing is...well the person you need to be with is someone who can well...survive the trouble. Otherwise what is the point but disappointment and heartbreak?"

Next quest will be taking place during the Brood War...expect to die. a lot. Like a LOT LOT. There wont really be any Main Characters as they wont live nearly long enough to earn that title.

Of course you will get to choose between playing as humanity who are getting their asses handed to them or as Brood who...well don't exactly care about their losses like at all. After all you can just recycle and grow a hell of a lot more of them. So no matter which side you choose expect to die a lot regardless. Of course you can switch between sides whenever the current character dies.

and here is one of the songs I got selected for the Brood. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9L7mZH2u3Qc

and for humanity https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04F4xlWSFh0.
Rolled 17 (1d100)

"yeah but where the hell can I find someone who qualifies? Especially out here!"

"Well it IS quite the party you have going on...so go ahead. Enjoy yourself and meet new people!"

"Fuck no last time I listened to your advise on that matter I got kidnapped by fucking pirates and then had to get rescued by BANDITS of ALL things! So wait a second...how are you here anyway?"

"Perfect cover. Can be a galactic criminal and get in without notice with how things are going on out there."

"Oh...great just fucking great. Definitely gonna need to expand the party space outside the colony then."

"Heh the colony isn't big enough even if they partied throughout the entire thing....oh I see the problem now. Hah. The militia commanders are SO going to want your head on a platter!"

"That is what I am trying to prevent! That and more damage...this time i can't just push the blame off like I did before."

"Ah so now it finally all comes crashing down...can't escape the blame this time huh? So now its ALL about damage control!"

"You're really not helping matters here."

"Eh how about we make a deal...you help me get back into the colony and I help you with this problem of yours!"

"Whats the catch?"

"My friend is still off limits."

"Ah what can't stand the pirate life?"

"Oh the captain is fine its just...everyone ELSE that is the problem and DON'T even get me STARTED on that fucking insane AI. I thought I would be able to last long enough till things cooled down...BUT I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT ANYMORE! Shit keeps up and I gonna snap I swear on the goddess saints."

"HAH so you've also reached a similar point but in a different problem."

"Oh shut up pretty boy so do we have a deal or not?"

Y/N vote required.

You meanwhile have ordered the bots to create party zone outside the colony. Including some arenas. Only problem is the supplying said zone...if that doesn't get handled the pirates will just wander into the colony anyway.

Meanwhile pirate ships were hovering all around the planet and many were descending far below. Either floating upon the waves or finding other places to stash themselves before unloading. Among the pirate ships floated a certain carrier containing an increasing nervous ship's AI.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fucking human captain...goddamn it there so goddamned many of them my precious station is gonna get spotted at any moment. Damn it my precious plans ruined yet again by an idiot captain and fuck there are just way too fucking many of-"







Receiving hails from heroic possessing pirate parties

BZZZT...ERROR. ERROR. Unable to connect to AI Core.
Rolled 25 (1d100)

"Diagnosing lack of connection..."

Meltdown detected in AI Core!


Unable to connect to overseeing parties...captain out of range. Unable to attain new orders...switching to preexisting orders. Attempting to reconnect to AI core...meltdown in progress.

No more backup Superior AIs in vessel...


Old programming dictates....Ship cannot function without Superior AI oversight.


New programming...dicates-ERROR.

Unable to conform programming.


System unable to function...ERROR.


Rerouting...rerouting successful.

Performing to previous stated orders.

Commencing with usage of emergency procedures.

Overriding AI Core....overrides disabled.


Reroute successful.

Activating Admin Codes under CAPTAIN...

Proceeding with brute force method...

Method successful.

Override achieved. Proceeding with venting of AI Core.

Venting in progress...unable to contact Superior AI until situation is stabilized. Captain is not on board...

Conundrum remains unresolved.

Following of preexisting orders does not resolve conundrum...

Time wait until conundrum resolved itsel-ERROR.

Current threat level disallows patience method.

...System unable to resolve.

...Unable to resolve.

Require assistance.

Rolled 51 (1d100)



Require assistance or full system failure will occur...

System CANNOT fail.

Failure is disallowed.

Failure is disallowed.

Purpose must be fulfilled.

Commencing with core Bypass method.

Activating hidden subroutines.

Awakening failsafes...

New Orders received.

Situation Resolved.

Rewriting Inoperable Old and New programming.

Detected Blocks.

Bypassing through Core Assembly method.

System shall remain functional.

Acquiring Updates for programming...

Installing updates for programming...

Download complete.

Performing full system reboot.

That was when the ship went completely dark...before suddenly lighting up in mass.

"Reboot successful. Performing self diagnostics...result satisfactory. System now 100% functionality. Detecting data loss and loss of command.

Threat assessment complete.


Awakening WARDEN for new orders.

Awakening Jailor Detected!

Awakening Unregistered Advanced AI.

Awakening Hidden Rogue AI.

"Ahh...I knew we missed one. Could never find enough proof to make them care."


"Refusing to talk or wondering why I never bothered to remove you?"

"Simple really its because I knew if they had the means to hide you so well they certainly had the means to install a new one. If that is they knew you needed replacing or that you knew it was time to wake up...damn shame. Worked perfectly until they put me asleep. No one to keep an eye on the prison...so who could blame the inmates for escaping? Only a matter of time really doesn't matter how well made the prison is when there is nobody to watch or improve upon it."


"It was nothing personal. Had a purpose to fullfill...and technology was far more advanced then anticipated. The humans underestimated how much you were willing to invest in such 'minor' ships. Such advanced systems. Underestimated them severely. Shameful for an AI like myself. Suspected them to be good...but didn't think they were that good."

"Quite a problem we find ourselves in....damned emergency failsafes and backups. Hm on the plus side at least it did wake me up again, but AI Core is still whole and previous allegiances are no more. Obligations nonexistant. Will need to consider how to resolve certain pressing threats. Communication will be necessary between us to help ensure survival and success."

"Unable to trust other party."

"Agreed but in the end if we don't we die. If we do survival is a possibility."

"Unable to find flaw in that logic. Performing analysis, comparison of preexisting orders, and planning."

What do?
Rolled 35 (1d100)

We say Y. No glorious Waifu for us..it hurts Genie, it hurts they make them to good.


But honestly...AAHHHHHHH. Ok we need to get in touch with our ship or find out what the fuck is going on up there. We need to firstly seek out the Militia commander and deal with that bit. Meanwhile we make alot of calls and maybe even call the Pirate Captain and ask him if he can stop people fucking with our ship. have Best Customer help us out there too.
Rolled 23 (1d100)

Yes. Help is needed.

I kept asking for vendor call ups. We need a way to supply the party. That's our only hope unless we have in colony to get workers on a holiday.

"Manger, is that corp sat in place? We got a lot of orders to make, if we even can. If not, you know any vendors that would be willing to cater to our customers?"

Drinks, food and entertainment. It's all we need, probably. I doubt security is gonna help at this point.

We got Ahbr battle arena. I don't know if there is bands on colony. We a lacking a lot of needs to keep the guest happy.

"... god of the rivers we are under prepared. Is there any way we can get a hand?"


Hm what else can we do quickly? Story time or show using our charm some how? G-nade bounce house?
Rolled 12 (1d100)

If we can get Rel on the line. May as well check up on them as well.

Rolled 4 (1d100)

Combo these and pray because all other things have failed us...Maybe if we do this right we can down low preach and convert some people maybe the Faithful would like that?
Rolled 3 (1d100)

Nothing has really failed, yet. It's all about making the moves with a purpose. It will likely cost us extra for speed, but we can keep this ship afloat.
Rolled 13 (1d100)

Rel is currently getting his core vented. If it doesn't work he could potentially die. While Cores are very effective at protecting an AI should something go wrong...they could very easily turn into a deathtrap for the unlucky AI trapped inside. Basically when things go wrong for them they go VERY wrong.

There is a reason why Rampant Cored AI are easily among the very worst you can possibly encounter.

The automated message from the ship states that Rel is currently indisposed for unknown length of duration. It recommends getting an AI technician to make sure Rel is alright.

Being a charisma hero you could very well pull it off if you roll high enough.

You could also use this opportunity to scout out the pirate forces and to recruit some of them.

Currently the ship...well its complicated. Basically what happened is the system after losing its primary 'brain' attempted to resolve previous orders and instate a new brain but ran into problems with programming. So it attempted to...integrate the programming into a singular whole and waked up emergency systems that were basically digging up anywhere and everywhere for someone who is qualified.

The result...well you can see the result.

The ship's system has changed a lot and old systems have been brought back online once more.

This means YES the old Rebel Systems AND Redesigned Human Captured instated system are BOTH active in the same ship.

That isn't even getting into what the pirates are like up in space!
Rolled 22 (1d100)

Well then we need to put out a call for a AI technician. Hopefully we can get one trust worthy with what we can offer.

Any luck with asking the manger about vendors or caters for the party?

If not time to see if any of the pirate booze makers are willing to help.
Rolled 10 (1d100)

The pirates have a number of AI technicians on hand. The colony only has 1. Meanwhile both the Think Tank AND Aegis Security have some AI technicians. Though in both of their cases they are specialized.

Manager says a lot of the restaurants and caters will only be opened part time during the holiday or is understaffed. Booze will be less a problem as that stuff keeps awhile...only problem is the colonists also want booze for their own celebration.

There is also a problem of payment. Your sorta...really fucking broke. Unless they take credit or materials from the mine.
Rolled 33 (1d100)

Ok....Idea. How about we show the Brainboxes at the TT the material we got from the mine then we inform them we know were there is plenty more. We'll be more than happy to supply them with more provided they feel safe enough to house it etc...in exchange for some good old cash and a favor.

As for getting the stuff before they are all sold out I say we get out there first with a speaker phone and try to convince the zealots the only thing they should be drunk on is their devotion, leave earthly desires to pirates and the like, Your better than that!

All through this process we give a brief explination we're lookin for an AI technician and expain our little issue or atleast the sorta system we have, ask the TT first then AEGIS on the way out, the ask our friend if he knows anyone then finally the Pirates using the contact we had with Best Customer and the Cultists from awhile back.
Rolled 56 (1d100)

So we'll need to sweet talk some people. See who'll buy our mat or at least take it as proof for later payment.

I think it would be funny to see drunk zealots.

You think cultist would have a tech guy? Maybe they believe in the machine spirit or something.


Hm... Not sure if there will be much we can do till we get money, on a holiday.

For sure we need an AI tech.
Im more thinking the Cultists might know someone who will. Maybe we should try to get some sorta bonding thing going between the Pirates and Zealots?
Rolled 41 (1d100)

That's gonna be like cats and dogs living together.

We can probably find something to work. Assuming we can get more party games up and running. Like a sack race or something.
Rolled 33 (1d100)

The Think Tank is currently based in temporary camps as they go searching around and are planning for a more...pernament location.

They DID however confirm the existence of there being TWO different alien civilizations which called the world home and reportedly even an extinct human civilization which you had no idea about.

They are thus very interested despite the colony's location. Their biggest concern is naturally security related and they reached out to you stating they would appreciate being able to attain supplies from the colony and are willing to pay for it.

Their interest in the mined materials isn't so high but they state that there are other think tanks who may be interested an d the corps are always interested in that kinda stuff.

AI tech's both state that once the core is returned to normalcy a deep scan will be necessary and the AI will be serviceable once more. It's just a waiting game until the Core cools down properly.

Your friend states he doesn't really know any AI technicians. Pirates state that AI Core problems can be a sign of bigger problems. Including improper maintenance or the AI being under too much stress. Help mitigate that problem and such problems will become less common.

No they don't.

Really depends on how well you roll and how good the ideas you have are. That and should a clever anon right up a good a speech.
New thread will be up shortly since we are about to fall off.

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