[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [cm / hm / y] [3 / adv / an / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / hc / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / po / pol / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / x] [rs] [status / ? / @] [Settings] [Home]
Board:  
Settings   Home
4chan
/qst/ - Quests


File: LEAVE EVERYTHING TO ME.jpg (505 KB, 1200x1600)
505 KB
505 KB JPG
You've had a hell of a night.

A ratfaced bastard slammed through your study window, a little ferret-ish creature looking for your daughter, Marion.

Pulling your daughter into this sort of crazy shit? Hell, you would go there instead to protect her.

You interrogated him, Jack Bauer style, and he enchanted a box of shotshells to "bite demons". Then he took you to the scene of a demon attack on a mall.

You resolved it, with a couple of magical shotgun blasts. Against a demoness that seemed rather inclined to follow your orders to GET OUT after that.

Then your daughter dropped in, you hugged her and took her to an ice cream shop to discuss how dangerous this sort of thing was. She, uh, she had an idea that if she didn't put her life on the line, innocents would die.

She's not wrong, but you'd throw her in with the 'innocents' category. And you let her go off to a 'sleepover' with her friends.

Once you'd thought about it a little more, you tried to drag her home since it was well past her bedtime, but when you put your hand on her shoulder, one of her magical girl friends attacked you.

And, uh, surrendering wasn't an option.

So you blew both of that blue-haired psycho's arms off with a shotgun, then had a little talk with 'Mary', the leader of their little group.

And now you're walking your daughter back home, for a nice family conversation with you and her mother.

>Talk to your daughter on the way (WRITE IN QUESTIONS)
>Maintain stony masculine silence

...And you're pretty sure that blue-haired girl wants to bone you, but there's got to be a chapter in the Parenting Handbook for this, right?
>>
>>2625318
>>Talk to your daughter on the way (WRITE IN QUESTIONS)
So... for how long have you been doing this?

>Maintain stony masculine facade.
>>
>>2625318
I'll second >>2625324 but also ask how much she actually knows about the ferrets and what they want.
>>
>>2625318
First thread archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2622184/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

Rule system: 20min voting period after first voting post.

Dice are d100

>>2625324
First voting post at 12:23 - voting closes at 12:43
>>
>>2625318
>Maintain stony masculine silence
>>
>>2625318
>>Talk to your daughter on the way (WRITE IN QUESTIONS)
So... for how long have you been doing this?
>Im sure you have questions...
>>
File: Marion1.jpg (2.4 MB, 3500x3500)
2.4 MB
2.4 MB JPG
>>2625318
The two of you walk home in silence for a long time.

You were teleported to this mall by the rat in your pocket, so now you're going to have to walk back. Since you're a bit in the suburbs, that'll take a bit.

Maybe you should have driven, but you were too caught up in the moment to even think of that as an option. Next time, maybe.

If there is a next time, and there had better not be.

Your daughter has dispelled the frilly magical girl outfit, and is walking beside you in more reasonable looking clothes.

Melon... How much has she grown up in ways you can't see? This 'magical girl' stuff burns someone out on the inside.

Sometimes, it burns them spectacularly on the outside.

"So," you say, breaking the silence of the trudge along the tarmac's shoulder, "how long have you been doing this?"

She looks at you with - there are so many things in that expression. Gratefulness you protected her as her father. Respect at what you could do in that vein, the combat she'd witnessed, and the knowledge that you had some idea of how her magical girl work went. Absolute horror that you, or one of her friends might have killed each other, and maybe a question of what her friend saw to inspire the blue-haired psycho's outburst.

"About a year," she says.

"Do you want to know how many demons we've put out during that?" she continues, a bit of defiance flaring in her eyes, "and how many of them would have done incredible damage if we hadn't been there?"

You're pretty sure letting her know you've got the ferret/rat in your pocket is a bad idea.

She's an idealist.

She thinks she's doing the right thing. And, she thinks that rat is part of that.

>Yeah, tell me your KDR on those things
>Why did you keep at it for that long?
>What do you know about rats?
>>
>>2625407
Also
>I'm sure you must have questions

and

>WRITE IN
>>
>>2625407
>>Yeah, tell me your KDR on those things
lets indulge her a little bit. make her feel like we don't want her head in a stake.
>>
>>2625414
I'll second this. She probably won't be expecting us to actually ask either.
>>
>>2625407
>>Yeah, tell me your KDR on those things
>Also tell me about this Familiar that contracted you.
>>
>>2625407
>What do you know about rats?
>>
>>2625410
First voting post 13:02 - votes close at 13:22 (unless it's a huge majority before that.)
>>
>>2625407
>Yeah, tell me your KDR on those things
>>
>>2625407
>Yeah, tell me your KDR on those things
>>
>>2625410
>Yeah, tell me your KDR on those things
>>
File: Marion.jpg (229 KB, 623x800)
229 KB
229 KB JPG
>>2625407
"Yeah," you say, "What's your kill/death ratio on those demons?"

"I haven't exactly been keeping track," she admits. That's a fairly good point for her. She isn't a full Magical Girl.

"Well, I'm sure you have your own questions for me," you say, "but I've got another good one for you."

"What?" she asks. Her eyes narrow as she looks you.

>If you haven't died, your KDR is dividing by zero
>You're my daughter, and that matters more than your KDR|
> Mom is waiting for us when we get home. Should we get our story straight here?
> WRITE IN
>>
>>2625407
>What do you know about rats?


:D thread continues yay!
>>
>>2625457
>Scold her, while she thinks she may be doing the right thing it will get her killed and break your heart not to mention the chars wife. :V
>>
>>2625462
First voting post at 13:23 - voting ends at 13:43 (unless I end it earlier because there is a foregone conclusion)
>>
>>2625457
>You're my daughter, and that matters more than your KDR|
>Now speak about the rat
>>
...
Have we decided on a name already?
Also
>>2625457
>You're my daughter, and that matters more than your KDR
>>
>>2625457
>> WRITE IN
>what do you know about this furry bastard (pull out the ferret from ypu pocket)?
>>
>>2625457
>You're my daughter, and that matters more than your KDR
"Sweetie if you think I'm being unreasonable, wait till you see your mother hearing all of this. You'd think she was the mother of all demons."
>>
>>2625457
>>You're my daughter, and that matters more than your KDR|
>>
>>2625457
>You're my daughter, and that matters more than your KDR|
>>
>>2625478
Kek. I like this.
>>
>>2625457
>You're my daughter, and that matters more than your KDR|
>Do you know why they only pick teenage girls?

I really hope we provide the answer. They're more emotional and less anti-authoritarian than boys that age. It makes them easier to manipulate.
>>
>>2625457
>You're my daughter, and that matters more than your KDR|

>My sister, your aunt? She had a KDR in the ten of thousands. Pretty good yeah? Except she’s still dead and the demons aren’t.
>>
File: Marion4.jpg (629 KB, 700x1048)
629 KB
629 KB JPG
>>2625457
"Youre' my daughter," you say, "And that matters more than your Kill/Death ratio."

If anyone had told you that you that you'd be walking down a road at one in the morning with your teenage daughter, rambling about her kill to death ratio, you might have socked him.

Well, here you are.

"You know my KDR is X/0!" Marion yells at you,"you taught me math. If I'm alive, it's X/zero!"

"And you have no idea what's over that zero," you say, walking down the tarmac.

"You have no idea what we go through to keep those demons off of innocent folks!" she slams at you.

>Why do you think those rats only pick teenage girls?
>Why do you think I don't know that?
>I've seen this before. Can you just accept I know a little more than you?
>Write In
>>
>>2625525
>Why do you think I don't know that?
>Why do you think those rats only pick teenage girls?
>>
>>2625525
>Why do you think those rats only pick teenage girls?
>Why do you think I don't know that?
>>
>>2625525
>Why do you think I don't know that?
>Why do you think those rats only pick teenage girls?
>>
>>2625525
>”Is that so kiddo?”
>Laugh
>Laugh Hard
https://youtu.be/PyyPI3LUQVc
>>
>>2625525
>3, 2 and 1 in that order
>>
>>2625525
>Why do you think those rats only pick teenage girls?
>>
>>2625532
First voting post at 13:51, votes close at 14:11
>>
>>2625525
>Why do you think I don't know that?
>I've seen this before. Can you just accept I know a little more than you?
>>
>>2625525
>Why do you think I don't know that?

Come back from work and this shows up. I guess I don't need sleep.
>>
>>2625525
>>Why do you think those rats only pick teenage girls?
>>Why do you think I don't know that?
>>
>>2625525
>Why do you think those rats only pick teenage girls?
>Why do you think I don't know that?
>>
>>2625538
>PTSDad intensifies
>>
>>2625525
>Why do you think those rats only pick teenage girls?

Also what was your wish?
>>
>>2625525
"Ya think I don't know what you go through?" you say, something shining through your eyes that cows her.

You're a dad, you're a disciplinarian. And she knows more than you'd want about the effect you've had on supernatural entities recently.

Offense is the best defense. The question hangs in the air.

"Why do you think those rats only pick teenage girls?" you ask.
>>
>>2625574
At this, the rat tries to pop out of your pocket.

"Because their biology can channel magic!" it says. You've heard it referred to as 'Freebles', but dignifying it as a title beyond you.

The rat can go back in your pocket for now. And you'll remember what it said.

Right now, you're very close to walking into your own front door.

Covered in blood, holding a shotgun, and with your daughter standing next to you.

>Hey, Honey, I'm home!
>Try to sneak in
>Hey, we need to have a family conversation
>Write in
>>
>>2625585
>Hey, Honey, I'm home!
Always keep a cheery tone up till she sees us.
>Hey, we need to have a family conversation
>>
>>2625585
>1 and 3
>>
>>2625585
>Hey, we need to have a family conversation
>>
>>2625585
1 and 3 I guess
>>
>>2625585
>Hey, Honey, I'm home!

>Hey, we need to have a family conversation

JustDadThings
>>
>>2625585
>>Hey, we need to have a family conversation
>>
>>2625585
Turns out my shotgun can channel magic too you jew rat, why not work with the cops?
>>
>>2625585
>Hey, Honey, I'm home!
>Hey, we need to have a family conversation
>>
>>2625585
1 and 3 but don't let that hang. Our shells channelled magic just fine.
>>
>>2625601
This
>>
>>2625585
>>Hey, we need to have a family conversation

>>2625596
Also this.
>>
>>2625601
>>2625596
Right with this,
We should never let this go that easily.
>>
>>2625588
First voting post at 14:11 - voting closes at 14:31
>>
If Melons has been hunting for a year, why did the rat originally come to our room? When was the remodel? Had she taken time off? I need answers to these questions, QM.

Also-

>>2625617
Agreement here.
>>
>>2625596
>Turns out my shotgun can channel magic too you jew rat
>>2625601
>Our shells channelled magic just fine

It might be linked to the 'father with a shotgun' tropes and cliches. Papa Wolves and Mama Bears might be far more powerful the MGs but far harder for the Rats to control.
>>
>>2625650
>I need answers to these questions, QM.
The remodel was very, very shortly before the beginning of this. That room was Marion's for several years, so who knows?

Before that, perhaps someone left the window open in that room?
>>
>>2625596
>>2625601
This.
>>
File: Definitely the wife.png (781 KB, 1280x720)
781 KB
781 KB PNG
>>2625585
You unlock the front door, then say "Hey, honey, I'm home!".

And absentminded "Come in," filters down a couple hallways. Your wife's something of a novelist, and doesn't like being disturbed while working.

Unfortunately, there are a few things you feel need to disturb her, so you walk into her study, Marion in tow.

"Hey," you say, "we need to have a family discussion."

She looks up from her work for the first time, and almost panics.

"What happened to you two?" she asks, "let me get the first aid kit, and you get into the living room!"

As she rushes off you exchange glances with your daughter.

And then the two of you settle into the living room with your wife, as she dabs isopropyl alcohol over your respective wounds.

>Street punks, that was definitely it!
>Well, Melon's a magical girl and we fought demons. Also met up with her friends.
>Melon's a magical girl, we fought demons, and one of her friends probably has a crush on me?
>No secrets in this house - why don't you tell us your story, Melon?
>Write in
>>
>>2625719
>Well, Melon's a magical girl and we fought demons. Also met up with her friends.
>>
>>2625719
>Well, Melon's a magical girl and we fought demons. Also met up with her friends.
>>
>>2625719
>>Well, Melon's a magical girl and we fought demons. Also met up with her friends.

>At least you don't have secrets like that, honey.
>>
>>2625719
>Well, Melon's a magical girl and we fought demons. Also met up with her friends.
>But don't let me spoil the whole story. Why don't you give us your rendition, Melon?
>>
>>2625720
First voting post at 14:45 - voting ends 15:05. I may also close it faster if there's a super clear winner
>>
>>2625719
>>Well, Melon's a magical girl and we fought demons. Also met up with her friends.
>But don't let me spoil the whole story. Why don't you give us your rendition, Melon?
>>
>>2625719
>2
>>
>>2625719
see >>2625730
>>
>>2625719
>>2625730
This.
>>
>>2625728
>>2625719
This all the way.
>>
>>2625719
>i'm fiiine, don't worry
>Well, Melon's a magical girl and we fought demons. Also met up with her friends.
>>
>>2625719
So we haven't told Melon about her dead Aunt yet?

Or pointed out that we were doing fine with our shotgun prior to her showing up and demanding we murder someone in cold blood after they had surrendered? We didn't raise our little girl to be racist, even if it's against the Demons that killed our sister. Especially not at the dmbisding of the monsters who sent our sister out to fight and die while still a child.
>>
>>2625719
>Well, Melon's a magical girl and we fought demons. Also met up with her friends.
>Melon's a magical girl, we fought demons, and one of her friends probably has a crush on me?
>>
>>2625767
My guess is that it was an extremely sensitive topic for us to bring up due to how the events might have played out in the past. I believe that Dad-MC assumed that since the magical girl stuff was done and over with the death of the sister, he didn't see the need to bring it up again. Oh how wrong he was to assume that now.
>>
>>2625767
Our sister knew what she was getting into, regardless of our pleas to not be stupid or at least get something that could protect her more than a frilly dress. Demons might be assholes, but our sister went into battle unprepared.
>>
File: Marion2.png (574 KB, 470x800)
574 KB
574 KB PNG
>>2625719
You screech as the alcohol burns into you.

"Are you trying to go SS on me?" you ask your wife, with the hint of a smile on your face.

"No it's just springtime for - " and she jabs something stinging into an open wound, and you scream.

Well, that's why your married her. Or one of the many reasons why.

"So," you say, fighting through the disinfecting routine, "Our little Melon's a magical girl. Just found out tonight, and had to take a shotgun to a few demons."

"I met up with some of he friends, and we other demons after that..."

Your wife is looking at you with a scalpel-like glare.

You can't save yourself.

You can only hope your daughter can save you from this...

[Marion the magical girl!]
>Yeah, mom, he jumped in and saved us!
>He's actually kind of a dick, and I have no idea why you married him
>I can't tell you anything. [CODE OF SECRECY]
>My friend tried to kill him, and now she wants to bone him, and can we please have some girl talk?
>>
>>2625804
>>Yeah, mom, he jumped in and saved us!
>My friend tried to kill him, and now she wants to bone him, and can we please have some girl talk?

FINAL DESTINATION
>>
>>2625804
>But it was fiiiiiine. Nothing serious. :D
>>
>>2625804
>>He's actually kind of a dick, and I have no idea why you married him
>>
>>2625804
>Yeah, mom, he jumped in and saved us!
>My friend tried to kill him, and now she wants to bone him, and can we please have some girl talk?
>>
>>2625804
>Yeah, mom, he jumped in and saved us!
>My friend tried to kill him, and now she wants to bone him, and can we please have some girl talk?
>>
>>2625811
15:12 - 15:42 - voting closes

You know the drill.
>>
>>2625826
Wait, the ending should be 13:32. Sorry!
>>
>>2625804
>>My friend tried to kill him, and now she wants to bone him, and can we please have some girl talk?
>>
>>2625804
>Yeah, mom, he jumped in and saved us!
>My friend tried to kill him, and now she wants to bone him, and can we please have some girl talk?
>>
>>2625804
>He's actually kind of a dick, and I have no idea why you married him
>I can't tell you anything. [CODE OF SECRECY]

Not that I think this will work but I would like to see Melon be a different character not just MC wearing a mask.
>>
>>2625840
Pretty much why we shouldn't play them. You know what scratch >>2625836 and go with >>2625840 instead.
>>
>>2625804
>My friend tried to kill him, and now she wants to bone him, and can we please have some girl talk?
>>
>>2625832
15:32. What am I thinking.
>>
>>2625840
Melon never really showed any of this hostility or any aversion to telling mom on the entire way home. This is a switch of her character established thus far. Though
>My friend tried to kill him, and now she wants to bone him, and can we please have some girl talk?
Just seems way fucking wrong too.
>>
>>2625804
>>My friend tried to kill him, and now she wants to bone him
>>
>>2625859
Yes but she's a teenager that's been getting lectured by dad on a topic they think they know more about than him AND she thinks she's in the right. There's a tipping point eventually.
>>
>>2625868
by that logic she should be trying to hid everything and sownplay the situation by a lot. Don't you all remember what kinds of shit you pulled when trying to avoid a conflict with your parents? all the bullshit you all said to avoid the inevitable for a little longer?
>>
>>2625874
I agree? How does her saying she can't say anything and trying to misdirect to her dad being a dick not accomplish that?
>>
>>2625878
Because saying that is confidential will only make the mom pour more pressure upon you. Placing the dad under the metaphorical for now) train, will make you lose your only ally. And since he gave just a general description of the scene, you can downplay it and make it seem like it was nothing serious.
>>
>>2625889
Your expecting this level of subtlety from a teenager? She's not thinking that far ahead. Regardless this kinda stuff is why I'm against playing separate characters, especially when they're in opposition of each other.
>>
>>2625905
...well, i guess you are right on both points.
>>
>>2625804
"And one of my friends tried to kill him," little Melon cuts in on that awful silence.

"You can see why I tried to stop what was going on," you saw, "If I hadn't, I'd be dead."

There's a look you can't interpret in your wife's eyes. Respect? Hatred?

"Yeah," your daughter blithely continued on, "and then she just - "

"Alright, young lady," you say, "It's far, far past your bedtime. I think," you say, looking over at your wife, "I think everyone here needs some sleep."

...There's a lot less fight than you could have anticipated out of your daughter as she plods off to bed.

"So I trust you've got your own version, dear?" you wife says suddenly embracing you from behind, pulling you towards your bedroom.

ROLL D100
>>
>>2625913
To be fair we were in agreement that she shouldn't be an open book about it but wanted to play it differently.
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>2625923
WEW LADDIE!
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>2625923
aw shieee-
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>2625923
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>2625923
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>2625923
>>
>>2625923
Oh, and I'm also accepting write-ins to work into this
>>
>>2625930
"When this magical girl hits 88 miles per hour, You're gonna see some serious shit...."
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>2625923
>>
>>2625943
>Magical chunky meat salsa
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>2625923
>>
>>2625923
>>
>>2625923
>"I did have to fight a demon and we did have a small argument with her friend but it's all fine.. mostly"
>"Except the MG part, i guess"
>>
>>2625962
>>2625923
>Have i told you how hot you look when you are angry?
>>
File: 20739770.png (20 KB, 100x100)
20 KB
20 KB PNG
>>2625923
"I feel I should have a little mother-daughter talk with her about all this," your wife tells you, and flits off after your daughter.

That's probably the best you could have hoped for.

But while she's away (and before she comes back upon you), don't you have some questions for the rat?

>Why Teenage Girls?
>Why My Daughter?
>Why was I able to order that demon around?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2625973
>>Why My Daughter?
>>
>>2625977
15:56 - 16:16 deadline.
>>
>>2625973
>Why My Daughter?
>Shake it around violently between answers.
>>
>>2625973
>How long are you going to keep up the charade? We both know you're full of shit, and unlike last time I won't keep my mouth shut.
>>
>>2625973
>>Why Teenage Girls?
>>
>>2625973
>>Why My Daughter?
>>Why was I able to order that demon around?
>>
>>2625973
>>Why Teenage Girls?
>>
>>2625973
>Why My Daughter?
>>
>>2625990
This please
>>
>>2625973
>Why was I able to order that demon around?
>Why Teenage Girls?
>>
>>2625990
My vote's on this
>>
>>2625973
>>Why was I able to order that demon around?
>>
>>2625973
"Look," the rat says, as you pull it out of your pocket and cock the shotgun menacingly, "I 'll tell you what you want to know. Nothing you can do can kill me - but those whells I gave you can send me back home. And I'm pretty sure there's a nasty trial and a hanging waiting there. So I'll take my chances with you."

"Why my daughter?" you ask, baring a few more teeth than necessary for a smile.

"Because she's a teenage girl," the rat says, "and a little more than that."

"Seems like you don't know anything about magic," it continues smugly, "there's only one organ in your species that can handle it. And you don't have one."

Well, you guess that explains the teenage girls, but you're not happy about it. And not happy about what happened with your sister.

"No male of your race can have our magic," the ferret says, taunting you from the crushing grip of your fist.

>Suddenly you hear Marion scream from her room
>You hear nothing, and continue talking to the magic rodent [Write it what you want to know]
>>
>>2626104
That doesn't explain the teenage part at all. Why not go for older women with military experience or something?
>>
>>2626104
>>Suddenly you hear Marion scream from her room
We will finish this later.
>>
>>2626111
do we really need to know? it really doesn't matter storywise.
>>
>>2626104
>you hear nothing
... but she's still screaming from whatever caused screaming.

Deal with screaming I guess? Would ask why not women in the prime of their athletic ability, but okey doek
>>
>>2626111
>inb4 it's a hymen
>>
>>2626104
>>You hear nothing, and continue talking to the magic rodent [Write it what you want to know]
So I can cut you up and then put that organ in someone else?
>>
>>2626104
>>You hear nothing, and continue talking to the magic rodent [Write it what you want to know]
so you cant enchanter items
>>
>>2626104
>>You hear nothing
Tell me everything you know about magic and why I shouldn't send you back home for a trial.
>>
File: NOT THE FAINTEST IDEA.png (124 KB, 459x209)
124 KB
124 KB PNG
>>2626104
You're choosing whether there is screaming or there is not screaming.

You're NOT choosing whether you hear screaming or not.

Just to be clear here
>>
>>2626104
>You hear nothing, and continue talking to the magic rodent [Write it what you want to know

Ok fair enguh though with all the sluts around isnt mtg hard to find nowa days?
But you know you can magic iteams like my shotgun rounds so y not do that for solders adults and they would be able to hadle it.
There has to be a another reasion for the girls and where do the deamons come from
>>
>>2626104
>You hear nothing, and continue talking to the magic rodent [Write it what you want to know]
What >>2626111 said. It matters whether there's a legitimate reason they're picking teenagers apart from them being naive and easily manipulable.
>>
>>2626104
>You hear nothing, and continue talking to the magic rodent [Write it what you want to know]
But you can enchant items, you can enchant women who are not teenagers, you can do something other than fuck up my family’s life again you lil shit.
>>
>>2626143
But want screaming to happen we just dont go to it as its most liky our wife telling our girl the bird and the bees
>>
>>2626111
This :V
>>
>>2626126
then most teenagers wouldn't be MGs
>>
>>2626111
Mybe theye cant have a dick in them?
Theres alot more they can make magic they just like little girls.....mybe thats it there all just pedos
>>
>>2626113
26:47 - 15:07 is the voting period.

I feel like this one's gotten chaotic, though
>>
>>2626170
>>2626159
>>2626156
>>2626150
You are all beginning to overthink this.
>>
File: 1200px-Emu-wild.jpg (220 KB, 1200x800)
220 KB
220 KB JPG
>>2626181
>>
>>2626174
Actually, 16:27 - 16:47 is the voting period. I'm bad at math and typing.
>>
>>2626159
Basically this. What's stopping them from enchanting a militaries hardware and having them deal with it? Chances are they're making demons to make magical girls to harvest them for something. If demons have been around for so long how come no one else has noticed them?

The ferret is full of shit and you can pick him apart really easily.
>>
>>2626192
i think that is the reason he has resigned himself to be with us instead of returning to his home planet.
>>
>>2626199
That and if he ever gose back his people are going to kill him
>>
>>2626104
>it works on shotgun shells, WE THE PEOPLE -
>Suddenly you hear Marion scream from her room
>>
>>2626167
Not everyone qualifies to be a magical girl, there are probably a thousand normies for each magical girl
>>
>>2626221
so? the uterus is the only organ a man doesn't have. Why there are so few MG, and why arent older women used as MGs are different questions (that really shouldn't bother us, because we already know our daughter is one)
>>
>>2626104
"And what does any of that have to do with being a teenager?" you growl at the magic rodent.

"It's complicated," he says, and for the first time the little thing seems almost at a loss, "I'm not a technician. I'm just a field guy - a middle manager! But from what I know, there's something about the physical and metaphysical swirl around them that allows them to tap in like nothing else on this planet can."

"And what about my daughter?" you ask, all your teeth bared in an expression only another a carnivore could understand.

"She begged me for a contract after seeing her friends fighting!" the rodent squeaks, "She asked for this."

"So why'd that demon heed my commands?" you snarl at it.

"Demons are, uh, let me check the docs," it says, and its eyes go weirdly digital, "they acknowledge the stronger as their masters. That's as much as I know - I'm not a demon psychologist!"

Just after that, you hear something, and stuff the rat into your pocket. He'll keep until later.

>You hear a scream from Marion's room
>You hear you wife's footsteps coming down the stairs

(Note - this is a decision of what is there to be heard, not which of those you choose to hear.)
>>
>>2626242
>>You hear you wife's footsteps coming down the stairs
>>
>>2626242
>>You hear you wife's footsteps coming down the stairs
>>
>>2626242
>>You hear a scream from Marion's room
>>
>>2626242
>You hear a scream from Marion's room
>>
>>2626242
>You hear you wife's footsteps coming down the stairs
>>
>>2626242
>You hear a scream from Marion's room

holy fuck captcha hates me tonight
>>
>>2626247
first voting post at 17:00, voting ends at 17:20
>>
>>2626242
>You hear you wife's footsteps coming down the stairs
She'll be walking down with some power tools we can use on the rat bastard.
>>
>>2626242
>>You hear a scream from Marion's room
>>
>>2626242
>You hear a scream from Marion's room
>>
come on guys, i wanna se that our wife is a demon
>>
>>2626277
more likely our wife gets killed by a demon attack and our daughter screams bloody murder.
>>
>>2626284
fuck that. that'd be bullshit. our daughter is there and she could protect her.
>>
>>2626242
>You hear a scream from Marion's room
Did yandere break in?
>>
>>2626284
>more likely our wife gets killed by our daughter's friends attack and our daughter screams bloody murder
here, i fixed for you
>>
>>2626242
>You hear a scream from Marion's room
>>
>>2626242
>>You hear you wife's footsteps coming down the stairs
>>
>>2626242
>>You hear you wife's footsteps coming down the stairs
>>
>>2626261
17:22 - we are done.

Voting's over.

I just hope I can scrounge a good image for this...
>>
The Wife comes down the stairs:
>>2626247
>>2626249
>>2626257
>>2626268
>>2626300
>>2626308

Scream from Marion's room:
>>2626251
>>2626256
>>2626259
>>2626270
>>2626271
>>2626290
>>2626298

We're looking at wife coming down the stairs at 6, screams from Marion's room at 7. Two minutes to tell me I've miscounted.
>>
>>2626325
...i hate to say this, but i think you inverted the numbers
>>
File: JbXl1rF.png (55 KB, 367x360)
55 KB
55 KB PNG
>>2626348
forget it. i'm stupid and i can't count.
>>
File: this is ok.png (122 KB, 379x269)
122 KB
122 KB PNG
>>2626352
Don't give me a heart attack like that!
>>
>>2626354
same here holy shit
>>
>>2626242
There's a scream from your daughter's room.

The rat can wait for later - as long as you've got him prisoner, and rounds that can send him back for judgement among his kin sloshing in your pocket, he's your animal.

Like a dog trained by threat of beating.

You've made it to your daughter's room in the time it takes to think that.

Your shoulder slams the door inward.

The scene inside is not anything you thought you'd see.

You don't know what 'girl talk' looks like, but you're pretty sure it's not this.

Marion is backed up as far as possible on her bed, wrapping the sheets around her like a child hiding from a nightmare.

And...

THAT's your wife?

You've always heard you never know who you married until after the ceremony.

This probably takes the cake.

Clawed fingers, vacant eyes, gold fur (like her luxurious hair), tails, ears like a foxes, she's not a woman.

Well, not a human woman.

Fox-woman?

You think through everything and find the word 'kitsune'.

You ended up with a fox bride?

>Kill the demon
>"Together 'till death do us part!"
>Marion, help me kill her
> I'm sure we can talk this out
>God gave us shotguns for a reason.
>Write in
>>
>>2626369
>>"Together 'till death do us part!"
>>
>>2626369
>"Together 'till death do us part!"
>>
>>2626370
We're a family and family stick together no matter what.
>>
>>2626370
17:44 - 18:04 is the voting deadline.
>>
>>2626369
>hug tackle her and get everyone to fucking calm down!
>>
>>2626369
>>"Together 'till death do us part!"

i mean, she didn't try to kill us in the years we raised melon, so... its fine? That also explains all the sex.
>>
File: how we turned out.png (335 KB, 603x575)
335 KB
335 KB PNG
>>2626374
There's something a bit ironic about "No secrets in this family", per an earlier thread...
>>
>>2626369
>God gave us shotguns for a reason.
We need to maximise our dad aura to get our wife back in submission.
>>
>>2626369
>> I'm sure we can talk this out
>>
>>2626369
>>"Together 'till death do us part!"
>hug tackle her and get everyone to fucking calm down!
>>
>>2626369
>"Together 'till death do us part!"
>>
>>2626390
>>2626376
>hug tackle her and get everyone to fucking calm down!
We won't kill our wife
>>
> "I'm sure we can talk this out."
>>
>>2626369
>Honey, you still with us?
>"Together 'till death do us part!"
>>
>>2626369
>>God gave us shotguns for a reason.
>>
We just need to dick all the demons and magical girls to convince them to get on our side and show the rodent aliens that the power of cock can fuel the universe.
>>
>>2626369
Ohana means family
>>
>>2626405
TROUGH DICK, UNITY!
>>
>>2626369
Shotguns
>>
>>2626369

>"Together 'till death do us part!"

SHE MAY BE A KITSUNE
BUT SHE'S STILL OUR WIFE DAMNIT
>>
>>2626405
Pretty sure that hentai exists.
>>
>>2626369
> I'm sure we can talk this out
I want to say til death do us part, but that seems a bit... on the nose.
Kind of a red flag, if you get my meaning.
>>
>>2626419
Yup
And I can confirm it exists
"From experience"
>>
Holy shit, you're back! Welcome back deluge, my body is ready
>>
File: Get Your Dick Out.png (125 KB, 355x299)
125 KB
125 KB PNG
>>2626428
>>
I'm pretty sure this is how the vote count goes. "Together 'till death do us part" goes well with the write-in hug option, so that's what we're doing.

Wait warmly, douchebags are preparing.


Together 'till death do us part!
>>2626370
>>2626373
>>2626377
>>2626390
>>2626396
>>2626401
>>2626415


Hug her
>>2626397
>>2626376

We can talk this out
>>2626388
>>2626398


God gave us shotguns
>>2626379
>>2626403
>>2626413
>>
>>2626444
Jokes on you, i'm already prepared.
>>
>>2626444
Ass
Is clenched
>>
>>2626433
>>
File: 1508028179252.jpg (32 KB, 750x682)
32 KB
32 KB JPG
>>2626444
>>
File: The Wife.png (508 KB, 579x818)
508 KB
508 KB PNG
>>2626369
"'till death do us part!" you yell, as you dive at your wife.

Hell, she might have different ears, and a bunch of tails, and claws, but she's still the woman you married!

Probably?

They say the person you married is never exactly the person you dated.

...This is probably the extreme end of that.

You wrap her in a flying tackle with a bear hug, and get to see her eyes go wide like you'd never seen them before. There's a look in them that you don't quite get, but hell.

It's been a long day.

She gasps something you don't quite catch, as the two of you hit the wall.

"Sorry, dear," you say, "but - "

...And then you hear your daughter chanting some sort of magical girl incantation. You're not really sure what it is, but it looks super dangerous, and not the sort of thing a good family conversation should have in it.

>Ask your wife to deal with her - this was 'girl talk' after all
>Tackle Marion too. Group hugs are a good family bonding experience!
>Fuck off to your beer and your TV. This is what American fathers do.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2626492
>Tackle Marion too. Group hugs are a good family bonding experience!
>>
>>2626492
>Tackle Marion too. Group hugs are a good family bonding experience!
>>
>>2626492
>Marion you cut that out right now and tell me what happened!
>>
>>2626492
>>Tackle Marion too. Group hugs are a good family bonding experience!

This is why we don't want you to be friends with those murderhobos marion! They teach you to be psycopaths!
>>
>>2626492
>Tackle Marion too. Group hugs are a good family bonding experience!
>WE ARE STILL A GOD DAMNED FAMILY AND SO HELP ME WE ARE GOING TO ACT LIKE IT OR ELSE!
>>
>>2626492
>>Tackle Marion too. Group hugs are a good family bonding experience!
>>
>>2626492
>Warning shot to the ceiling.
>"Okay, no magic allowed in this house unless someone intrudes, now let's all talk about this calmly without anyone getting hurt."
>>
>>2626497
First voting post at 18:23 - voting deadline at 18:43, or when I feel we have a consensus.
>>
>>2626506
i don't think we have the shotgun with us. That will also alert the neighbors and they might call the cops. Also, ceiling repairs are costly.
>>
Oh jesus this is the best scenario i can ever imagine in my life haahahahaha A demon wife and a magical girl daughter no wonder that demon succubus submitted to us very fast.
>>
>>2626492
>Tackle Marion too. Group hugs are a good family bonding experience!
>>
>>2626492
>Tackle Marion too. Group hugs are a good family bonding experience!

FAMILY
FUCKING
MOMENT
>>
OH SHIT, got a dark epiphany. what if the ferrets grab magical girls teenagers not only because of their vagina? But also because they are the children of a demon and a human and thus can use magic.
>>
File: I'll Allow It.png (583 KB, 533x857)
583 KB
583 KB PNG
>>2626497
>>2626499
>>2626502
>>2626503
>>2626504
>>2626516
>>2626523
We've got seven votes for tackling the daughteru and making this a group hug (never thought THAT was a sentence I'd write), so unless there are serious objections, I'm calling the vote here.

Any objections?
>>
>>2626529
nay
>>
>>2626529
Hell no
>>
>>2626529
just write it now

or if you want please add this

>Can we just fucking calm down everyone now ground rules
NO MAGIC
NO DEMON APPEARANCE
NO MAGICAL GIRL TRANSFORMATION
as long as you are in this roof you are going to be HUMANS HUUUUUUUUUUUMAAAAAAAAAAAANS
Understand?
>bonus
>for some reason they have sparkle in their eyes
>Yes dad
>Yes honey
>>
>>2626529
go for it, we'll keep this family together or die trying
>>
>>2626528
Highly improbable, i mean.
The demon parents could easily kill their children.
Just, for some reason, our wife didn't noticed Melon turn into a magical girl/ or didn't wanted to kill her
But, you never know
>>
Oh god NO ONE TELL BLUE she'll start trying to kill the wife to steal us.
>>
Coincidence???
I think not
>>
>>2626552
Forget the wife, she'll start trying to kill melon and be our new daughter.
>>
>>2626552
Dude did you knew she stalk us just right now......OH WAIT NO AFTER THIS TALK SEARCH THE HOUSE!!
>>
>>2626561
I AGREE
YOU MADE ME FUCKING PARANOID
>>
>>2626529
Group hugs it is.

Seriously though do you actually have a plot in mind or are you just completely winging it.
>>
>>2626552
>>2626560
>>2626561
Our wife is a kitsune no Kyuubi. She has golden hair and nine tails. She if the Japanese are accurate a divinely blessed being who has lived 900 or more years.

I am fairly certain she could hand blue her ass with ease bordering on contempt.
>>
>>2626541
>>2626529
And definitely add this in.
>>
File: The Wife Holy Shit.jpg (280 KB, 500x833)
280 KB
280 KB JPG
>>2626492
"Young lady," you say, somehow disentangling yourself from your wife's limbs and tails, "we do NOT talk like that in this house!"

Of course, by the time you say that last bit, you're already in midair, on a collision course to hug your daughter.

You slam into her before she completes the incantation. The energy she'd already gathered ricochets off the walls, and then your wife grabbed it out of the air like a terrier chomping a tennis ball.

The way she moved doing that... Yeah, you admit it, you feel like you've been missing out all these years.

But hell, you married her when she hadn't shown you anything like that, so just think of this as icing on the cake!

You land under your daughter on her bed, and your wife slinks up to snuggle with both of you, her tails encircling all three of the family.

You let out a contented sight.

A father and mother, hugging each other and their offspring, this is how life should be.

If only it hadn't taken what it did to get here...

Alright, you're going to have to ruin this.

>Ask your wife what the hell she is
>ask your daughter why she tried to kill her mother
>write in
>>
>>2626583
>Somebody explain... NOW
>>
>>2626583
>Alright, Stop murdering each other and have a firm talk with each other.

>Also, Wife we need to spend some time with this new form.
>>
>>2626583
>Ask your wife AND daughter what the fuck are they doing
This is the most easiest i think i mean we need to establish domination in this house i mean WE ARE A MAN DAMN IT WE ARE ALPHA
>>
>>2626583
>"Alright. So we all had secrets we kept from each other. I guess it's time we all show our hands, huh?"
>Ask your wife what the hell she is
>ask your daughter why she tried to kill her mother
>>
>>2626590
also this that we are a secretly weaboo but our wife saw our *ahem* internet browsing history
>>
>>2626583
>set ground rules
>>
>>2626583
>>Ask your wife what the hell she is
>>ask your daughter why she tried to kill her mother
Get both of their stories.
>>
>>2626541
>>2626574
I think there should probably be a vote on whether that's house rules.

That might be something the MC would think was a good idea near the end of this chapter, so stay tuned!

>>2626569
I'm winging it, but I try to create enough hooks for plots while I write to have something to go off of. The folks who hung around after last that called some of them, based off what I'd done there.

Honestly, what I love about questing is that the input of multiple people, all the ideas they have, and everything else, can meld into a story.

>>2626588
First voting post at 18:45 - Voting closes at 19:05
>>
>>2626583
>Ask your wife what the hell she is
>ask your daughter why she tried to kill her mother
>>
>>2626583
>"Alright. So we all had secrets we kept from each other. I guess it's time we all show our hands, huh?"
>Ask your wife what the hell she is
>ask your daughter why she tried to kill her mother
>Come clean about our sister, (and about that one time we made napalm to blow up a demon army)
>>
>>2626590
>>2626591
>>2626598
All of this
>>
>>2626583
>ask your daughter why she tried to kill her mother
>>
>To be honest im not mad i mean we have a cuddly wife. A very very comfy wife and a sweet daughter.

>We are the luckiest man alive i guess.
>>
>>2626583
>Honey, you could have told me about this sooner (touch fluffy tail)
>ask your daughter why she tried to kill her mother
>Now girls, do you have anything left that you're hiding?
>>
>>2626583
>ask your daughter why she tried to kill her mother
>>
File: Spoiler Image (130 KB, 612x562)
130 KB
130 KB JPG
>>2626583
Whatever option we choose, you know what we have to do.
>>
>>2626583
> Talk about your Sister, her being a MG, now much it hurt us when she died, and how we are 100% unwilling to let that happen to either our wife or daughter whom we love very much and if necessary we will beat the world to death with this talking squirrel we found and replace magic with THESE HANDS if necessary.

> In that bein, much as THESE HANDS have not been raised against anyone in this household, and never shall be, same rules apply for magic.

> Now we're going to stay here like this until the women in our lives figure their shit out and let us know what's going on so we can face it as a family.
>>
>>2626626
Maybe she didn't because she knows what happened to our sister

Or had something to do with it
>>
File: f48.png (107 KB, 1210x1016)
107 KB
107 KB PNG
>>2626583
>>2626606
> (and about that one time we made napalm to blow up a demon army)

In this vein mention that redneckery is just as potent as magic and that your sisters death was avenged.
>>
>>2626636
What of shes pur sister just transformed
>>
File: 1499474027263.gif (3.72 MB, 581x327)
3.72 MB
3.72 MB GIF
>>2626645
>>
>>2626645
That's not the sort of trashy light novel-esque story we're running here!
>>
>>2626604
Also I am opposed to being a secret weeb, instead our Pa was a veteran from Vietnam and picked up his knowledge about fox ladies there. We just thought it was more, what you say, meyaphorical.

I feel like we have enough going on with the redneck/accountant/dad/magical hmgirl bystander history. Let's not go full Capeshit on the background here.
>>
>>2626645
stop
>>
>>2626647
>>2626648
Magic and just thowing it out there

What ever op you know thats where this train is taking us

So mumy was shlwing our girl that she too changes and eat deamons???

Or is this the fox goddess and the spice salesman in the moden day
>>
File: d4f.jpg (70 KB, 459x524)
70 KB
70 KB JPG
>>2626655
>>
>>2626651
I'd love to go full Henderson, but anon's right.
Also, anime would probably give us ptsd from our sister.
>>
File: 1478876448033.png (38 KB, 499x338)
38 KB
38 KB PNG
>>2626662
>>2626665
>>
>>2626662
Did you just have a stroke?
>>
>>2626651
Holy shit, that sounds amazing.
Maybe we don't know basically anything about anime And because of that we don't even know that there is a whole gender only for MS
>>
>>2626665
STOP
>>
>>2626677
Noop just phone posting and didnt spell cheack
>>2626669
Nice 69 at the end there but also some days
>>
>>2626583
"So why were you trying to kill each other?" you ask as innocently as possible.

You've never been that great with women.

"Because she's a demon!" Marion says, struggling in one of your arms.

"Because she tried to kill me when I tried to show her that I understood how being a supernatural entity was," your wife says, with no struggle at all, "you told me she was a magical girl, and I just wanted to show her she was.. with.. her mother... in being a... supernatural entity."

Damn, those tails are fluffy and comfy.

Well, there are a couple of ways to try to settle this.

>Get the magic rodent to say your wife isn't a demon (since that THING can apparently convince your daughter)
>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2626681
Well, I know what thread you came from.
>>
>>2626691
>>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
>>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?
>>
"Sweetie, just so you know you are grounded and in the future you are only meeting your friends with a chaperon to make sure they are not any more of a bad influence on you."
>>
>>2626691
>>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
>>
>>2626691
>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?
>>
>>2626691
>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.

The fox animal soundsand the way she moved in bed should have tiped us off
>>
>>2626693
Yep, i always forget to take that name off
>>
>>2626651
>Pa was a veteran from Vietnam and picked up his knowledge about fox ladies there

If I recall correctly, the US government unleashed foxes covered in glow paint on Japanese-controlled islands, since fox-spirits would spook them/

I prefer to think that this guy just knows a lot about various legends and supernatural concepts/creatures, and doesn't fly off the handle.
>>
>>2626691
>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
Maybe drop a "damn, didn't know I'd married such a fox"
Because it's necessary
>>
>>2626691
>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?
>>
>>2626691
>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
>>
>>2626691
>"you know, now i understand why you were scared you would give birth to a fox cub all those years ago."
>>
>>2626691
>>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
>>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?
>>
>>2626705
Maybe we studied about that religion stuff thanks to our sisters death and the Mahou Shoujo stuff
>>
>>2626691
>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
>Ask your wife if she actually counts as a demon.
>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?
>>
>>2626713
>>2626706
Also adding this cuz I can't resist
>>
>>2626691
Lets get straight to the point.
>Marion, melon, sweetheart, you understand that since your mother is a kitsune, you are probably a kitsune too, right?

>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?
>>
>>2626691
>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?

>Kitsune are not demons, not the gold ones. The golden ones are divinely blessed entities. (now you know why your wife dragged you to that symposium on youkai.)
>>
File: DAMN.gif (843 KB, 446x270)
843 KB
843 KB GIF
>>2626691
>>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
>>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?
>>
>>2626691
>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
>HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX?
>...I guess that explains the noises she made when we'd rub her head.
>>
>>2626720
The funny part is that 'giving birth to an animal' is actually a very common nightmare for pregnant women.
>>
>>2626695
First voting post as 19:14 - end of voting period at 19:34
>>
>>2626729
good point, or at least half kitsune
>>
>>2626691
>>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
>>
>>2626691
>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
Holy shit she's trigger happy
>>
>>2626752
See!? Being a magical girl turns you into a murderhobo.
>>
>>2626691
>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
Write-in
>You're grounded for killing your mother and not ask question. And also you WILL NOT SEE your friends because they are VERY bad influence to you.
>*shed a tear* where did our sweet innocent daughter gone
>get the rodent and choke the fuck out of him
>IF YOU DARE TO CONTACT YOUR GIRLS WITH YOUR MAGICAL BULLSHIT IM GOING TO FUCKING FEED YOU WITH MY WIFE OVER THERE ARE WE CLEAR?
>>
>>2626756
i say we avoid killing the ferret, because that does nothing. he also was willing to put up to our bullshit, which means he could enchant more ammo (and probably stuff) to us. He is also middle management, which means he is the proverbial messenger, and i have a soft spot for those guys because i've been in their position before.
>>
>>2626769
no we threathen the everloving fuck out of this guy because he may magically telepathy their girls relaying information with our shinenigans inside the house
>>
>>2626769
It keeps him away from our daughter, our "bullshit" was not something he put up with he actively was going behind our back in getting our daughter in the mall and since our daughter and wife are magical they can likely enchant ammo too.
>>
>>2626775
>>2626786
what i mean is that he is willing to put up with our *future* bullshit. I also have no problem with torturing him, just with killing him
>>
File: The Wife - Younger Days.png (750 KB, 851x1248)
750 KB
750 KB PNG
>>2626691
HOW THE FUCK DID IT TAKE YOU THIS LONG TO FIGURE OUT YOU'D MARRIED A FOX SPIRIT?

Really, how had you managed to miss all the signs?

Not even just her signs, but some of the odd things that happened when you went to meet her parents. You should have seen it there at least. "Pet foxes" your left foot, those were their children running around!

More than ten years, and you'd only seen it because she revealed herself to your daughter?

Because your daughter is a magical girl?

And then, because little Melon's a magical girl, she actually tried to attack her mother.

...on top of that, you have a feeling that you should really visit your in laws after this blows over. It should be a lot more interesting the the first time, and the first time was very, very interesting.

"Hey, Melon?" you say, rolling over toward her, and then your wife envelops both of you in those fluffy tails, "she's your mother. As long as I've known her, as long as you've known her, she's been a damn good person and a wonderful woman."

You crush her into your embrace. "Daddy loves you, and wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you. I just - want what's best for you. and considering your mother's a kitsune, that might not be those friends you have."

"You have your mother's blood, you know," your wife speaks up from the other side of you, "you're half a demon, even if you don't want to face it."

Marion took one look at her mother's face and ran, but you - you'd never seen a more arousing look there.

"So," she asked, tails waving, after your daughter had left the bedroom, "do you still desire me? With my ears and my fangs and my tails? Do you still love me, knowing I'm a demon?"

>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?
>How do I know you are what and what you say you are?
>How do you think we're going to raise our daughter right?
>Write In
>>
>>2626804

>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?
>AndIdesireyoualotrightnowplz
>>
>>2626804
>>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?
>>
>>2626804
>>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?
>also i have a desire to *blush* touch a fluffy tail
>>
We should make this a family interrogation of the rat, bet he'll shit bricks when he sees the waifu.
>>
>>2626804
>>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?
>Kiss her

shit's gonna get better in the bedroom!
>>
>>2626804
>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it? Besides, I'm kinda into it.
>>
>>2626805
19:38 - 19:58 is the voting period.
>>
>>2626804
>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?
>...Yup, i dig it.(kissu)
>just one thing... how old are you, really?
>>
>>2626804
>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?
>Touch fluffy tail
>>
>>2626804
>>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?
>Kiss her
>Count her tails (at least that Japanese myth symposium your wife dragged you too is helpful now)
>>
>>2626804
I still love you but im need to tuch dat fluffy tail
>>
>>2626819
This. This anon is a good anon.
>>
>>2626804
>>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?
>That said, I'm a little annoyed it's taken you this long to tell me. No more secrets, okay?
>>
>>2626804
>>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?
>(stuff that fuzzy bastard into the hamper, dump our sweaty gym clothes in it, and put something heavy on top)
>>
>>2626804
>>I married you, and that said 'til death do us parts didn't it?
>>
>>2626827
This
>>
>>2626691
>Convince your daughter that even if your wife is a demon, she's her MOTHER, and as long as you've known her, she's been a good person.
>>
>>2626805
>>2626809
>>2626814
>>2626817
>>2626819
>>2626824
>>2626827
>>2626831
>>2626832
>>2626837
>>2626840
>>2626841


I feel like voting is nearly unanimous here.

Please wait warmly, or flame me super hard
>>
>>2626804
> Just kiss her really deeply
>>
Time to touch fluffy tail. >This is important because kitsune always want to run away when discovered, and by crash tackling her we've managed to avoid that, now let's finish what we started.
>>
>>2626851
Curse you and your timezones QM, I can't keep doing this to my sleep schedule!
>>
>>2626804
>>2626851
>No one's made a joke about her always being a fine foxy lady before tonight yet
I'm disappointed Anons
>>
>>2626860
could that be the nickname we have always used on her?
>>
>>2626851
WRITE FASTER WE NEED TO TOUCH THAT FLUFFY TAIL
and also some torturing with that magical ferret with our wife :3
>>
>"No! I must kill the demons" shouted Marion
>Father said "No Marion. You are the demons."
>And then Marion was a fluffy fox girl.
>>
https://youtu.be/4nyHPIcbn88
>>
>>2626877
Annnd I fucked up our daughter's name. Fuck.
>>
>>2626877
But who was phone?
>>
>>2626893
it me
>>
File: IMG_20180507_174637.jpg (22 KB, 235x302)
22 KB
22 KB JPG
>>2626893
>>2626904
2spooky
>>
File: Also the wife.png (366 KB, 579x802)
366 KB
366 KB PNG
>>2626804
She's there in the moonlight, half undressed, with your daughter having to god knows where, ears and tail waving in the moonlight.

There's only one answer:

"God yes!," you say, panting over her like the worst dog, "we said - 'till death do us part', didn't we?"

She smiled at that, but lost the smile by being unable to keep her lips closed.

There's only so much to say. You're honestly not sure you slept that night.

All of the things you did to her - touching those fluffy tails, figuring out why 'doggy style' was named that was, fucking her into unconsciousness over and over - that was your answer to her question.

...And you'd done it all in her daughter's bed. Your daughter's bed.

Well, sheets can be washed, and you understood something more than you had before the night began.

In the morning, you wake up luxuriously, clothed in the scents of sex, and an animal need for each other.

Your wife is still curled up, look almost like a dog, in some indeterminate form.

Your daughter is probably at school right now.

>Interrogate Rat
>Interrogate wife
>Find someone else to interrogate
>Write In
>>
>>2626910
>talk to wife after making sure rat did not run off.
>>
>>2626910
>Interrogate wife
Marriage reaffirmed, onto why she kept it hidden. Text the daughter as well to make sure she's ok.
>>
>>2626910
>Interrogate Rat
>>
>>2626910
>Interrogate Rat

Preferably with the stained sheets. That'll show him.
>>
>>2626910
well, we already traumatized the rat and probably the daughter(if she came later into the night to sleep). So far, so good!

>Interrogate wife
>>
>>2626923
>Do you have any idea who you're dealing with!? I eat monsters for breakfast!
>>
>>2626917
This. Clearly our daughter is into some shit, we can't let her end up like our sister. Some of these "magical girls" are shit and some "demons" aren't clearly. We need a plan, let's Mr and Mrs Smith this situation.
>>
>>2626917
20:04 - 20:24 voting window
>>
>>2626928
now we can literally mean that. because of last night.
>>
>>2626910
>Interrogate wife
>>
File: thatsthejoke.jpg (22 KB, 480x360)
22 KB
22 KB JPG
>>2626934
>>
>>2626910
>Interrogate Rat
>Wake up Wife
>>
>>2626910
>Interrogate Rat
>>
>>2626910
>Interrogate wife
>>
So this seems like the general fallout.

Interrogate (talk to) wife:
>>2626917
>>2626921
>>2626924
>>2626940
>>2626966
>>2626966

Interrogate Rat:
>>2626922
>>2626923
>>2626942
>>2626958
>>
>>2626942
>interrogate Rat w/ wife
>Wrap Rat in sheet so he cannot escape
>>
>>2626910
"Hey dear," you say and get a noncommittal 'mmhmmm'.

"You always been such a fox?" you ask, and roll over in bed to take her in your arms.

That barks you get seem more like a laugh than anything else.

"You've got no idea how many demon princes went for me back in the day," she says, suddenly becoming a fox-eared and many-tailed woman in bed next to you.

Looking like a hotter version of the woman you married.

Maybe women, like wine, improve with age.

"I'm not surprised," you tell her.

"And something about you is better than any of them," she say, winking at you over a pillow.

"So what about our daughter?" you ask, "She thinks she should be killing demons - "

At the moment, Marion , half-dressed, slams in through the door.

"Die, demon!"

And she's talking about her mother.

Not that that's too unusual at that age, but...

You're in her bed with her mother. Who is, in fact, the demon she wants to kill.

>Tackle-hug Marion
>Tell her mother 'this is girl stuff'
>Just bounce, and let them sort it out
>Write In
>>
>>2627020
Enough with the tackle-hugs.

>Time to pop out the rat and make him stop Melon from attacking waifu
>>
>>2627020
>Tackle-hug Marion
>Marion, that is no way to talk to your mother. Now knock it off.
>>
>>2627029
20:37 - 20:57 voting period

Unless I call it for a sure thing beforehand
>>
>>2627020
>Tackle-hug Marion
did finding out your mother has fox ears and a tail really change the fact shes been feeding, loving and taking care of you for all these years? the times she put band-aides on your boo boos, made you cookies, or just did dress-up. Does that all mean nothing?
>>
File: download.jpg (5 KB, 275x183)
5 KB
5 KB JPG
>>2627020
>"ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE, YOUNG LADY" "YOU ARE GOING TO APOLOGIZE TO HER, RIGHT NOW"

And bring out..... THE BELT.
>>
>>2627020
>Tackle-hug Marion
You know before we even dress or shower, cause that's a good idea
>>
>>2627020
No more tackle hug, whats her problem?
>Slap Melon
>"What's wrong with you!? She's your MOTHER not some kinda of freak! Stop this shit right now"
>>
>>2627020
>Marion, it's time for the belt.

She's half demon so she responds well to violence and power, right?
>>
>>2627020
>>Tackle-hug Marion
>>
>>2627020
>>Write In
Put our foot down. Stand in front of whatever death beam she's preparing and lay it out. This is her mom, the woman who's helping hand in hand with us in taking care of her. This shit will not stand in this house.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>2627020
>Forehead flick
More serious than a tackle hug, not abusive like a slap or threatening with the belt. Plus
>>2627040 words.
>>
>>2627020
THAT'S IT MARION YOU"RE GROUNDED and until im going to drill into your head that SHE IS YOUR MOTHER i will not stop reminding you how your mother loves you.
>also name a thing or scenario about your mother says no in about anything
>glaring intensifies
>Also your friends are bad influence
We really should hatch a plan how we should stay her out from her friends i mean HOLY SHIT THIS IS BAD she changed her personality drastically in 1 Year
>>
>>2627020
>Let's have a serious talk.
>>
>>2627040
Let's go with this.
>>
>>2627020
>>2627040
This
But... looking pretty likely at this point that the ferret has her under a compulsion. All thought is out the window, it's just see demon > murder.
>>
>>2627092
lets be fair here, she has been battling them for a whole year now. you could compare it to a soldier and the PTSD that comes when firing fireworks.
>>
>>2627020
>Tackle-hug Marion

Gods damn it, if you're going to be like this then we're going to have to make you a little brother or sister.

Is this actually something she's able to control?

Let's pull out the squirrel and get him to explain, Marion being half-dressed tells me she's maybe sleep-slaying or something.
>>
You know, we might want to tell the wife we dominated another demon, before she shows up at our house, looking for her master.
>>
>>2627144
Our wife was so powerful and hot she was a contemporary of demon princes. Odds are she'll just be amused. Free maid.


Also we already told her.
>>
>>2627020
Calm your tits girl shes not you steap mum
>>
File: Marion7.png (541 KB, 821x1200)
541 KB
541 KB PNG
>>2627020
"Look," you say, rising from the bed far faster than a man of your age should (particularly if you count in what you did last night), "that's your mother. Does the fact that she has fox ear and a tail outweigh that?"

"She's a demon!" Melon screams, "can't you see those teeth, those ears? You've been seduced. And," she says, staring you down with eyes you'd hoped to never see again, eyes of nothing but purpose, "I should get myself out right after taking her down! I'm tainted!"

Somehow, you feel that your daughter just being into terrible drugs or bad boys would have been easier to deal with.

"And how do you know all demons are evil?" you ask, half rocketing out of bed, "I've seen your mother birth burp you, feed you from her sexy breasts, and educate you! Help you with you with your homework! Bring you up to be a good woman! Hell, bring you up to be a good person! Is this what the rat taught you? Is this what those friends taught you?"

You rush between her and the door.

"If that's what that's what they taught you it's bullshit!"

Oh hell, she's gone frilly.

"Do you want to kill your family? Do you value us that lowly?" you say, hoping she doesn't peg you with one of those guns that suddenly appeared.

You tackle her into a hug, and ask the awful question "Do you hate us that much?"

"No..." she sobs.

You've never been good with crying women, and your daughter's a woman now.

"Then don't kill your mother! Don't go down the path Sue, that was her name, right, chose! don't become that person!" you say it right into her ear.

"Whatever the rat said, that's not how life is!" you yell.

Then there's a voice buried in the sheets, the rat itself: "he's right. She's not a demon like you know them. She's something from here, not from out there."

And your daughter collapses from the words of a rat-faced ferret.

>Listen to him, he's right
>Does he have this much power over you?
>Family is what important here
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2627166
>Does he have this much power over you?
>>
>>2627166
>>Does he have this much power over you?
>>
>>2627166
>>Does he have this much power over you?
Oh god. This is worse than drugs.
>>
>>2627166
>>Does he have this much power over you?
>>
>>2627166
>Does he have this much power over you?
>Seriously, you're trusting a rat that got your aunt killed over your mom and dad?

That rat is going into a cage.
>>
>>2627166
... He took a while to cut in...
>>
>>2627175
Seconding
>>
>>2627176
just let me tell you this. The fucking rat enjoyed las night's show.
>>
File: Pipesmoking.jpg (454 KB, 900x885)
454 KB
454 KB JPG
By golly it's time to have some family bonding time interrogating the rat.
>>
>>2627166
>WRITE IN
>shock collar the mother fucker
>>
>>2627198
Shock collar and put that fucker in a cage.
>>
>>2627166
"Does he have that much power over you?" you ask, nearly yelling "like he's your dealer?"

"To the point that you'd off yourself just from what he said?" you ask. This is worse than any drug dealer. Even if her psycho friend seemed like she was on PCP.

This isn't just a drug. All drugs can do it make you feel guilt. They can't make you feel you righteous.


"Your mother's a good person, and I've known her longer than you've been alive," you say, hoping it makes it through, "and she's known you longer than you can remember!"

Your little girl sags like she's been hit.

The rat in your pocket screams: "Demon incursion! They're coming!"

>Go by yourself. Leave your girl and her mother to sort it out
>Go in, take your little girl into some nexus
>>
>>2627198
That's a good idea, and I should give you guys a way to do it
>>
>>2627203
>>Go by yourself. Leave your girl and her mother to sort it out
>>
>>2627203
>Go by yourself and bring our rat. Leave your girl and her mother to sort it out
>>
>>2627208
21:38-22:08, unless the trigger seem like it should be pulled earlier
>>
>>2627203
>Go by yourself and bring our rat. Leave your girl and her mother to sort it out
>>
>>2627203
>>Go by yourself and bring our rat. Leave your girl and her mother to sort it out
>>
>>2627203
>Go by yourself and bring our rat. Leave your girl and her mother to sort it out
Oh what a convenient demonic incursion. Right when our daughter's catching on.
The animal mascots are running both sides, aren't they?
>>
>>2627203
>Go by yourself. Leave your girl and her mother to sort it out
>take the little shit with you
>>
>>2627198
Seconding>>2627201
>>
>>2627203
>Go by yourself. Leave your girl and her mother to sort it out
>>
>>2627203
>Go by yourself. Leave your girl and her mother to sort it out
>>
File: This fucking place.jpg (139 KB, 857x500)
139 KB
139 KB JPG
>>2627203
"Hey rat," you say, "take us in"

You've still got enough enchanted bullets.

You've got a crazy rat in your pocket.

And before the laws of physics are given a wedgie, you mouth out your wife "Iron out that girl stuff, hey?"

You shouldn't be getting used to this warp.

But yet, you are getting used to it.

Better than your daughter having to get used to it.

But she said she'd had about a year doing it. So she's more experienced than you, unfortunately.

She should never have to do it again. You'll do it for her.

And suddenly you're in a place you don't recognize. Brutalist architecture, the concrete hatred of the Soviet Union.

You grew up when they thought they'd bomb you, the duck-and-cover drills

>Duck-and-cover
>Find the demon and kill it
>Find allies - you're a bit far from home
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2627257
>>Duck-and-cover
>>
>>2627257

>Find allies - you're a bit far from home
>>
>>2627257
Find problem

Then kill the problem
>>
>>2627257
I can almost hear Fortunate Son in the backgroung
>Find allies - you're a bit far from home
Ask the rat about the others girls
>>
>>2627257
>Duck-and-cover
>WRITE IN
>scan your surroundings
>>
>>2627259
First voting post at 21:58 - voting closes at 22:18.
>>
>>2627203
>Go by yourself; knee deep in the dead

https://youtu.be/BSsfjHCFosw
>>
>>2627257
>>Find the demon and kill it
>>
>>2627257
>>Duck-and-cover
>>
>>2627257
>>Duck-and-cover
>Da's war stories crawl into the back of our mind.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40JmEj0_aVM
>>
>>2627257
>Find the demon and kill it
>>
>>2627285
If we can teleport here, the magical girl crew can too.

Finding demon is priority, but our gunfight should draw them to us anyhow.
>>
>>2627257
>Duck-and-cover
>>
>>2627257
Alright, you've got a shotgun, a magic rat in your pocket, and you've been teleported into a terribly convenient demon incursion.

'Convenient' in that it means you don't have to deal with your daughter trying to kill your wife.

Your mind is almost set on duck on cover, then finding and destroying the demon responsible. This seems like a good idea - after all, you're a father with a pump-action shotgun, enchanted shotshells, and a magic rat in your pocket.

You land on the balcony of an apartment complex that it a fist raised against god - brutalism at its 'finest'. Of course, you duck down behind the balcony.

"So where's the demon?" you ask the rat in your pocket.

"In the middle of the circle," it says, "seems like this entire block of apartments was built as a summoning circle to call and contain it."

"And we're near the edge," you say "aren't we?"

"My usual contractors like coming in at the edges of this sort of thing!" the rat pleads, "and my powers can't warp us close to demons."

>Contractors? Like my daughter?
>Could I form a contract with you?
>So I guess we're going in the center, on foot.
>Any allies I should know about?
>Write in
>>
>>2627301
>So I guess we're going in the center, on foot.
>Any allies I should know about?
>>
>>2627301
>So I guess we're going in the center, on foot.
>Contractors? Like my daughter?
>Man you sound like a middle aged Japanese salary worker.
>>
>>2627301
So I guess we're going in the center, on foot
>>
>>2627307
Dis mayne
>>
>>2627301
>So I guess we're going in the center, on foot.
>Any allies I should know about?
>>
>>2627305
22:26 - 22:46 voting period
>>
>>2627301
>So I guess we're going in the center, on foot.
>Any allies I should know about?
>>
>inb4 blue shows up outta nowhere, and we have no daughteru for backup.
>>
>>2627301
"So I guess we're goin into the center, on foot," you say. You're really not sure about this. You feel like you've been goaded into it.

"And why do you sound like an aged Japanese salaryman?" you ask of the rat.

"Because I am," he tells you, "you know of the Great Wheel - this is simply my station upon it. In a past life, half forgotten, I was a Japanese salaryman"

"I'm an accountant" you say, "and you understand exactly how much my kind hates you."

""Likewise," the little rat tells you, "I want you to die, and not because of any of your threats."

"Well," you say, "I feel that understand each other is good, even if we hate each other."

"Likewise," the rat says, "Understanding you will allow me to hurt you more before my next cycle on the wheel."

"Can you put enough friction on my drop off this balcony that I will be able to fight demons at the end?" you ask.

"Yes," the rat says, "but only because the means you will kill demons and suffer."

"As long as it's not my daughter doing exactly that," you say, and take the step.

Now you're on the ground.

>Any allies I should know about?
>Anythin' you can tell me about this demon?
>Any good direction you can give me that won't get me killed?
>Any WRITE IN?
>>
>>2627358

>Any allies I should know about?
>Anythin' you can tell me about this demon?
>>
>>2627358
>Anythin' you can tell me about this demon?
And keep the propaganda out
>>
>>2627358
>Any allies I should know about?
>Anythin' you can tell me about this demon?
>>
>>2627358
>>Anythin' you can tell me about this demon?
>>
>>2627358
"Anythin' you can tell me about this demon?" you ask, hoping for some sort of tactical information.

"If you shoot it enough," the rat bastard says, "it dies."

He doesn't think he giving you good info, but that's the best you could have.

You CAN kill the demon.

And that's what matters. You're here as a proxy for your daughter, for her 'team'.

If you kill it, they don't have to fight it.

"So," you say, "any good info on how to kill it beyond 'shoot it in the face'?"

"I've got nothing," the rat telles you, "have fun, fuckface."

Seems like he isn't going to be to helpful, and straight wants you to lose.

Probably so he can go back to his cushy little life or mind-controlling your daughter and her friends,

>Find the demon, and kill it
>Find what allies you can
>murder the little rodent
>>
>>2627393
>>Find what allies you can
>>
>>2627393
>Find the demon, and kill it
>Choke the rodent
>>
>>2627393
>murder the little rodent
Thanks for the bullets, bye.
Then
>Find the demon, and kill it
>>
>>2627397
First voting post at 23:16 - voting closes at 23:36
>>
>>2627393
>Find the demon, and kill it
>>
>>2627393
>>murder the little rodent
He earned his noose.
>>
>>2627393
>Point our if we die our wife will come for her pound of flesh. How’d he like to be a liver farm?
>>
>>2627404
>>2627398
don't kill the rat yet. we are in some slavic nation with no passport and probably just a shotgun. kill it AFTER we return home.
>>
>>2627404
then how will we come back to our house? go charter a plane and be in time for dinner?
>SNAKE EATERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
>>
>>2627393
>Find the demon, and kill it

Don't kill it, another one takes its fucking place and it would be less willing.
>>
>>2627393
>Find the demon, and kill it
>>
>>2627417
I don't want to kill it yet, I just want to choke it out a bit.
>>
>>2627393
>>Find the demon, and kill it
>>
File: He's Trying.jpg (283 KB, 600x562)
283 KB
283 KB JPG
>>2627393
So you've been told the demon will die if you shoot it in the face enough.

You've been told it with be at the center of the circle.

...And you're sure the rat is no help.

So it's time to trudge on, toward the center.

You're doing this for your girl after all.

Your girl that is probably engaged in trying to murder her mother.

But you've left them to sort out their differences. Hopefully that will end without the house becoming a tourist attraction.

It's just 'girl talk' after all.

There's a demon here, and you're going to find it and kill it.

You choke the rodent in your pocket, just for kicks - and to make remember who holds its like in its hands. If you killed it, there woulds be another, that your couldn't even try to control. This one, you might have a chance with,

So you walk among the brutalism, between the apartment buildings, until you reach the center.

And then you see him - looks like he's the to control the demon, or bring it into himself.

>Attack him
>Attack the demon
>Ask him what the flying Christ he's trying to do
>WRITE IN

And give d100 rolls
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>2627440
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>2627440
>Ask him what the flying Christ he's trying to do

>inb4 its our brother
>>
>>2627443
What option are you taking for that roll?
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>2627440
Dice!
>>
>>2627440
>>Ask him what the flying Christ he's trying to do
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>2627440
>>Ask him what the flying Christ he's trying to do
>>
>>2627440
>>Aim at the summoner
>Do anything that isn't dispelling the demon and i'll shoot you.
>>
>>2627446
Forgot to vote this >Ask him what the flying Christ he's trying to do
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>2627440
>>
>>2627440
> THROW THE RAT AT YHE DEMON TO DISTRACT IT

Boo, go for the eyes!
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>2627440
Also shoot the demons kneecaps

In demon circles, this is known as diplomacy. We can
>>
File: He's Really Trying.jpg (156 KB, 600x750)
156 KB
156 KB JPG
>>2627440
"What the flying Christ are you trying to do?" you shout at this guy. He's wearing a snappy red suit, so perhaps he's important?

Maybe he just has an impaired fashion sense.

"I'm," he says, through labored breathing, "binding this demon to me. Using the Soviet setup that called him here. Otherwise, he'd rampage through everything on this continent!"

Binding the demon?

The huge things that's towering in the center of the apartment complexes, with its six wings spread?

As in, bending it to his will?

That's, uh, one way to deal with them. Maybe.

"Don't disrupt the circle," he says, "or my concentration!"

>Did you summon it?
>If you bind it, will you use it?
>[just kneecap the demon]
>WRITE IN
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>2627440
>Ask him what the flying Christ he's trying to do
>BROOOOOTHERRRRRRRRRRRR
just like my metal gear
>>
>>2627465
let him finish the binding, then when he is gloating and distracted, shoot him in the head.
>>
>>2627465
>>If you bind it, will you use it?
If NO then
>[just kneecap the demon]
>>
also, where are the soviet magical girls? are they getting drunk in vodka again? or are they bringing the magical tanks?
>>
>>2627465
Backing this >>2627468

>>2627473
IN soviet russia, Vodka is power of slav
>>
>>2627465
>>If you bind it, will you use it?
>>
>>2627467
First voting post, 20min, as per usual (unless it's a foregone conclusion), 23:47 - 00:07

>>2627473
>where are the soviet magical girls?
The People's Magical Girls are doubtless posing for propaganda photoshoots.
>>
>>2627476
This
>>
>>2627465
>>[just kneecap the demon]
>>
>>2627465
>[just kneecap the demon]
>WRITE IN

Bind the demon to the squirrel! Fuck him!
>>
>>2627465
>how much time do you need?

>>2627479
bet they have frilly adidas tracksuits
>>
File: Guy in the red suit.png (324 KB, 700x1024)
324 KB
324 KB PNG
>>2627465
"If you bind it," you yell at him, "will you use it?"

"Fuck no!" he yells at you, "I'll drain its power until it can't exist on this plane. I'm surprised you're even here, not knowing how that works! Are you even a Magus?"

Then you kneecap the demon, twice. Tendons snap, blasted in half by your shotgun.

It falls to its knees, bellowing. Even those six wings can't hold it aloft.

You see the demon diminishing in size as its energy drains, until it's almost the size of the squirrel.

Then it vanishes with a pop, and the red-suited 'magus' stops sweating and swearing.

"I've got to thank you," the man in the red suit says, "I probably couldn't have handled one that size by myself. Are you a contractor?"

>Yes
>Contractor?
>I thought only women could use magic
>It's good to see another magus out here
>Who the hell are you?
>>
>>2627506
fuck it guys can be wizards, operation wizard dad is a go:

>Contractor?
>I thought only women could use magic
>>
>>2627506

>I thought only women could use magic
>Who the hell are you?
>>
>>2627506
I'm a concerned father
>>
>>2627506
>>I thought only women could use magic
>Who the hell are you?
>>
>>2627506
>nah, i just have my bitch rat enchant shells
>how does all that stuff works anyway?
>how about we grab a drink somewhere to talk more about it?
>>
>>2627512
00:13 - 00:33 and all that, although I may call it early, since voting population is low at these times
>>
>>2627506
>I thought only women could use magic
>I'm just here to kill demons
>>
>>2627506
Pull out the rodent by the neck.
"So. Only women can use magic, eh? Would you care to revise that?"
>>
>>2627506
>>It's good to see another magus out here
>Write-In
>Introduce ourselves
also
>Torture the everloving fuck out of that ferret he fucking lied to us what is he planning making us go half around the world
>>
>Write-In
>Introduce ourselves
also
>Torture the everloving fuck out of that ferret he fucking lied to us what is he planning making us go half around the world
>>
>>2627506
what's even going on at this point.
>>
>>2627514
>>2627506

This + >I thought only women could use magic

> Ask for help with the shit-rat

Honestly, it's probably some fucked up otaku from a previous life and we should pop a cap in it right now. Probably perving on our daughter.
>>
>>2627514
>I like this too actually.
>>
>>2627558
yeah i mean he's a japanese salary man in his previous life he is probably perving from our daughter.

IN ONE YEAR REMEMBER ONE YEAR!!

We must protect what's left of our daughter purity maybe we can salvage whatever is left.
>>
File: T. T..jpg (1.53 MB, 2000x4500)
1.53 MB
1.53 MB JPG
>>2627506
"I thought only women could use magic," you tell him.

"Another one that got taken in by the rats," he says, taking a rather impressive swan dive off the building.

"They're not EXACTLY wrong," he says, landing on his feet somehow, "but it's just that their sort of magic only works for women. They can't form a contract with men."

"However," he says, slicing what looks like a black hole into space with his cane, "there are other things that work for us. Contracts, for one. Borrowed magic, as commoners call it. And I can see that you have a VERY strong contract."

"Who the hell are you?" you ask, before he makes his exit.

"I'm T.T.," he says, tossing you a business card. It flies through the air and alights perfectly on your palm.

...It actually just says "T.T." and a phone number. In gilt print.

Gilt. Fucking. Print.

Who does that?

"There's more to this world than you or I know." he says, turning toward you in front of the portal, "hopefully we can meet up for drinks someday," he say, and then thinks a second before stepping through the throbbing hole in space-time, "who are you? You were damn helpful back there, and I wish I'd had you around at Tunguska."

>I'm a concerned father
>I'm a guy that has a rat to torture
>I'm nobody in particular, just happened along with some magic shotgun shells
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2627568
>Just a pissed off father, killing one retarded ass critter at a time.
>>
>>2627568
>I'm a concerned father
>>
>>2627568
>>I'm a concerned father


..... are we getting magical powers from being married to a demon? Marriage is kind of like a contract .....
>>
>>2627568
>I'm a concerned father
>Say, would a wedding count as that sort of contract?
>Give him our phone number?
>>
>>2627572
00:41 - 01:01 standard.

As usual, if something seems to be an overblowingly popular option before then, I'll start writing earlier.
>>
>>2627568
>>I'm a concerned father
>>
>>2627568
>>2627586
second
>>
>>2627568
I'll support >>2627586
>>
>>2627568
>>2627586
This

If were been married to our wife for 10 years maybe we picked up some stuff through osmosis or something
>>
>>2627568
>Mind giving me a lift?
>>
>>2627568
>>I'm a concerned father

> > Hey, if you want to pay me back for the help, I could use an expert opinion while I torture the shit out of this rat that is fucking with my daughter.
>>
>I'm a concerned father
>Say, would a wedding count as that sort of contract?
>Give him our phone number?
>>
>>2627568
Also

> So who do I complain to about the Rats, or how do I kill them for good?
>>
>>2627599
i like this and its getting my vote.
>>
>>2627586
yea this im all board on this
>>
>>2627568
Seconding:
>>2627599

Are we gonna do the japanese business card thing?
>>
>>2627568
"I'm a concerned father," you say, looking the self-proclaimed 'magus' dead in the eye, "and out of curiosity, would a wedding count at that sort of contract?"

The man in the red suit paces back and forth a couple of times, then realizes he's in for the long haul and does something with his staff that you don't quite catch.

The space-time continuum loses one wedgie.

"It could," he says, after pondering, and pacing a little more, "if you were married to a supernatural creature."

And then it hits him, and his facade disintegrates.

"Holy shit," he says, grabbing you by the shoulders, "you managed to pull a yuki-onna? A kitsune? A fuckin' Oni? A ghost? What is she, and how the hell did you do it?"

"Not that I'm interested on my own account," he tells you, calming down a little, "I'm quite happily married and have two lovely daughters - want to see this picture with them?"

"Don't show me the picture," you tell him, "the guys that flashes the picture of who they're going home to dies first in every war movie. And I'm pretty sure we're in a war."

He takes a sidelong look at you after that one, and after a minute says "you're quite perceptive. Not many people know we're fighting a war right now. And I don't mean a desert we send our sons to to forge them. From what you've said, it sounds like the rats got into your family."

He waits a bit to get a response.

>No, they haven't
>Any tips on dealing with them - permanently?
>Afraid they'll get at your daughters one day?
>[Say Nothing]
>Write in
>>
>>2627630
>Any tips on dealing with them - permanently?
>how do you keep them away from yours
>>
>>2627630
>>Any tips on dealing with them - permanently?
>>
>>2627630
>two daughters
>two
WHAT?
>>
>>2627630
> No shit. Any tips on dealing with them? As much as I'd love to just give it the old buckshot solution, I'm worried about potential fallout for my own daughter.

Hrm. Didn't we also accidentally let a demon go earlier too?
>>
>>2627638
I didn't mean to spoil that!

Sorry.
>>
>>2627643
>Didn't we also accidentally let a demon go earlier too?
More like let this guy eat a demon.

Not really sure if that's a good or bad thing.
>>
>>2627630
>Any tips on dealing with them - permanently?
>Afraid they'll get at your daughters one day?
>Also, for the record, shes a kitsune
>>
>>2627630
>Any tips on dealing with them - permanently?
>Afraid they'll get at your daughters one day?
>>
>>2627647
probably a good thing, odds are likely this guys gonna be our magic bro so far.
>>
Maybe the demon got her raging ladyboner and some admiration because she probably saw how we fucking tame one of the strongest Demon.....probably
>>
>>2627647
Last thread
>>
>>2627643
this guy has a good answer, i'm seconding this.
>>
>>2627638
>>2627644
I may be missing something.

Also is our wife a demon or a kitsune. Cause technically the second one is not a demon if I remember right.
>>
File: 1407891181515.png (382 KB, 610x627)
382 KB
382 KB PNG
>>2627630
"Any tips on dealing with them - permanently?" you ask.

He looks at you grimly, and says "nothing that doesn't rely on a power on their level being benevolent to you. There are some demons that could break those contracts, but..." he stares into the distance for a bit, "you'd have to convince them that you held their lives in your hand."

You stare right into his eyes, and he tries to look away, but can't. It's a dad thing.

"Yes," he finally says, "one of my daughters is contracted to them."

You strike out on a limb - "so that's why you're out here in Eastern Europe draining demons dry?" you ask.

The tables are completely turned. You can see it in his eyes. He may know more magic than you, but you've gotten the secret that matters to him.

"What do you want?" he growls.

>Definitely not to blackmail you
>How does male magic work?
>Just to go for a drink sometime - looks like you could go to any bar in the world
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2627666
>Just to go for a drink sometime - looks like you could go to any bar in the world
Time to regain the SAN points.
>>
>>2627666
>>Just to go for a drink sometime - looks like you could go to any bar in the world
>>
>>2627666
>Write-In
>I'm sorry for that
>But on the bright side *hefts that fucking ferret* here is the *contractor* of my daughter
>>
>>2627666
>Definitely not to blackmail you
>Just to go for a drink sometime - looks like you could go to any bar in the world
>>
>>2627666
>>Just to go for a drink sometime - looks like you could go to any bar in the world
>>
>>2627666
>tfw the daughter is not!Homura since its black hair
No her daughter is that blueberry who wants to hump us all over our body inside and outside
>>
>>2627664
>technically the second one is not a demon if I remember right
"Youkai" is a term that encompasses a lot of things in Japanese culture that would be termed 'demons' in other cultures.

Kitsune are a type of youkai.

Guess which interpretation our Psychopathic Squirrels go with.

That's why the idea of being 'from here, not from there' comes into play with them. They're supernatural entities, but they're native ones.

>>2627669
01:38 - 01:58 voting period, unless it's definitely decided before then
>>
>>2627666
>>Just to go for a drink sometime - looks like you could go to any bar in the world

>>2627680
Kinda figured that was probably what was happening. You know the rats need to better define local supernatural entities to the magical girls so they dont kill wrong ones.

Out of curiosity how big a supernatural world we talking here?
>>
>>2627666
"Just, uh," you say, not used to dealing with powerful magi, "going for a drink sometime. Looks like you could use one, and you could teleport to and bar in the world."

"You want to do it tonight?" he asks, rather brusquely. Definitely a man who likes keeping short accounts.

>Yeah, lets go to somewhere near my place
>Yeah, let;' go somewhere crazy
>No, I've got to get back to my family - let's do it another time. After all, I've got your card.
>>
>>2627689
>Out of curiosity how big a supernatural world we talking here?
Pretty good chance of encountering that guy at the crossroads who wants to know if you play a better fiddle than him.
>>
>>2627690
>No, I've got to get back to my family - let's do it another time. After all, I've got your card.
>>
>>2627690
>>No, I've got to get back to my family - let's do it another time. After all, I've got your card.
>>
>>2627690
>No, I've got to get back to my family - let's do it another time. After all, I've got your card.
Best to make sure that our wife and daughter haven't killed each other
>>
>>2627694
1:50 - 2:10 voting period, unless things seem to be virtually unanimous before them
>>
>No, I've got to get back to my family - let's do it another time. After all, I've got your card
>Also can you drop me near at my home
.>>2627690
>>
>>2627690
>>No, I've got to get back to my family - let's do it another time. After all, I've got your card.
>>
>>2627690
>>No, I've got to get back to my family - let's do it another time. After all, I've got your card


>>2627693
sooo, we should practice playing the fiddle or keeping our shotgun close by.
>>
i propose that our wife should teach us some magic
>>
>>2627690
>>No, I've got to get back to my family - let's do it another time. After all, I've got your card.
>>
>>2627707
probably not a bad plan in all honesty.
>>
>>2627690
Seems like the vote is to return (presumably via ratface/Freebles) to the house.

And I am completely done at this point. Almost falling asleep in my chair.

There's a good chance I'll pick the thread back up tomorrow mornig - notifications on Twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge
>>
>>2627713
m8 this is a fun quest, good luck m8.
>>
>>2627707
>>2627712
We should probably check in with the in-laws even if we can learn magic from the wife. It might not just be wife giving power through the marriage contract. Depending on the terms (say if we married into her family) and who we might be Inari's (i.e. Fox God(dess)) son-in-law.
>>
>>2627713
Thanks for running!

I am . . . unsure about using ratface for transport.

Maybe we should invite dude-bro to come meet the wife since he seems interested, also to give us a ride.

Nobody wants to snoop around for loot or evidence about the original demon summoning?

Because I feel that is relevant to our interests.
>>
>>2627643
>>2622817

> Still, you manage to look over her heaving shoulder straight into the eyes of the quivering demoness and mouth "GO. NOW. DON'T COME BACK."

> Sometimes, in your darker moments, you wish you could get that look of abject subjugation and compliance from the women in your life.

I'm TOTALLY SURE this won't be a problem later.
>>
>>2627752
Now watch as the Demon wants to be our second wife/mistress or second daughteru. And we'll have to stop fights between our biological descendant and our newly adopted descendant.
>>
>>2627752
Goddamnit how are we going to dad our way through all of this bullshit!
>>2627753
Okay, look at this point we are taking numbers, unfortunately we have already been married so we can't take any more wives. We can however dispense head-pats instead of dickings. Honestly considering how sexy our wife is, I dont see these girls offering us much. We can always add more adopted daughters I guess.
>Sigh
>Get the handwarmers boys we got a huge amount of warm headpats to give
>>
>>2627713
Thanks for running.

I can somehow see this entire quest as viable for some 16-bit, heavy-on-plot-side-scrolling-action-platformer treatment. And one of the key mechanics being a timer before Melon and Gang get on the scene to kill the demon. Ending depends on how many of the demon bosses the girls land a kill on. If they get them all then it's BAD END.
>>
File: 870WingmasterMag_BTY.png (291 KB, 1200x181)
291 KB
291 KB PNG
>Demon:So what's your magical schtick old man?
>MC: The magic of Remington and the power of love.
>>
>>2627941
>Demon: So what's your magical schtick old man
>MC: There is a reason this girl calls me daddy....
>Demon: Uhh... wha.. that is LEWD
>MC: ITS BECAUSE I AM HER FATHER!
>Shotgun noises
>Demon:C-could you be my daddy too?
>MC: *Headpat*
>>
>>2627941
The power of loving a Remington.

Maybe with some luck we can get some loaner weaponry from the Homu expy.
>>
>>2627644
>>2627638
Confused as to what this spoils at all
>>
File: 1386296610771.jpg (104 KB, 712x1000)
104 KB
104 KB JPG
>>2627941
> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pFriRcIwqNU#

Never mind once we find the golden FAL and go full Rhodesian Cat Girls.
>>
>>2628014
Obviously one of his daughters has blue hair.
>>
>>2628061
i bet the daughter was the quiet one.
>>
>>2628061
His wife is an oni and his kids are the red and blue meguca.
>>
>>2628113
. . . I like the aptness of it.

I wonder if the fucking rat is actively seeking out these kids to make them into MG.

New Quest Goal! Gather together Demonic Army to storm the gates and demand our kids back. SKULLS FOR THE HEAD-PATS! PB&J FOR THE LUNCH GODS! OUR FOREARMS SHALL BE WELL DEFINED AS THEY CHOKE A BITCH OUT.
>>
File: forearm-2.jpg (76 KB, 1109x614)
76 KB
76 KB JPG
>>2628123
> When you work with your hands
>>
>>2628129
> We can get more Dad like

Holy shit does a lot of gay porn come up for Dad Works With Hands
>>
>>2628123
what the hell are you talking about?
>>
>>2627862
> Force our daughter to share her room with the demon girl

She didn't have a the advantages you did growing up! We didn't raise you to be selfish when someone in need reached out. She's trying hard to change herself, and if she doesn't there's always the shotgun . . . Goddamnit look how messed up she is, she got the same ladyboner look in her eyes as your one creepy friend. Yes she IS creepy, no, no you know that's not normal . . . I swear to God if you keep insisting that she isn't fucked in the head from that contract rat I'll start cleaning my gun whenever she comes over. . . Oh NOW you you admit it's creepy and gross how she acts, imagine how I feel dealing with an edgy teenager trying to prove something all up in my business. I got things to do, you know, this house doesn't hold itself together especially with you popping off magic sparkle bombs at your mom when she catches you out on your BS. Don't think I didn't notice that, I just trust you and your Mom to work it out because you love each other.
>>
>>2628158
It's going to be like a Harem, but mostly us just constantly taking care of our Daughter and her peers because we don't know how to NOT fix broken things we pick up off the road. It's a red neck compulsion. Trucks, dogs, kids, it's just what a man does for his community. Feed 'em, let them crash under your roof, and tune up any trashbag taking advantage of them with a little bit of the good old percussion maintenance.
>>
>>2628181
>>2628167
...i think you need to take a breather outside of your house, man.
>>
>>2628167
> Force our daughter to share her room with the demon girl
I think that'd be adorable
>>
File: T T.png (391 KB, 400x778)
391 KB
391 KB PNG
>>2627690
"No," you tell him, "I've got to get back to my family. I'm sure you can understand."

"Of course," he says, with a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, "I can sympathize with that. Can't spend every night cracking open a hot one with the boys, can you?"

If this is his idea of a fun night sober, you're not really sure you ever want to see him wasted, you think, watching him give space-time a wedgie with that cane.

"If it matters," he says, looking straight at you, "taking that thing down saved a lot of people. The Soviets created some awful things, but apartment blocks designed to summon demons and supply them a 'food source' are one of the worst."

Then he walks through the portal.

"Alright," you say, "home, Jenkins."

"My name is Freebles!" the rat squeaks.

"It's a joke," you tell it, "get used to them. Now get us home."

Suddenly, the world twists again, and you can feel the anger of space-time as the rat pulls its underpants over its head.

You get back to a scene of:

>Your wife and daughter destroying your house in a sea of magical fury
>Your wife and daughter hugging in your daughter's bed
>Your wife with your daughter's head deep between her legs, moaning
>Write in
>>
>>2628200
>Your wife and daughter destroying your house in a sea of non-magical fury

Mum won't let the daughter go out.

Also it's really jarring to play "choose your own adventure" because I feel like it removes any agency from the characters themselves. It's like playing chess against yourself. Zero tension.
>>
>>2628200
>>Your wife and daughter hugging in your daughter's bed
>>
>>2628200
...you mothefucker.

>Your wife and daughter destroying your house in a sea of magical and non magical fury
>>
>>2628200
>Your wife with your daughter's head deep between her legs, moaning
>>
>>2628200
>Your wife with your daughter's head deep between her legs, moaning
>>
>>2628200
>Your wife with your daughter's head deep between her legs, moaning
NANI?!
>>
>>2628200
>Your wife with your daughter's head deep between her legs, moaning
>>
>>2628211
First voting post at 10:18 - voting stops at 10:38

>>2628218
>>2628223
>>2628230
>>2628232
I probably shouldn't have given that option
>>
>>2628200
>Your wife with your daughter's head deep between her legs, moaning
>>
>>2628234
well, too bad. now they are fucking.
>>
>>2628200
>>Your wife and daughter hugging in your daughter's bed

>>2628211
Agreed. Especially with all the anons picking the incest option.
>>
>>2628234
It's 4chan man
You shouldn't give any option that involves incest
>>Your wife and daughter hugging in your daughter's bed
>>
>>2628241
>>2628211
now just wait until the anons begin to get REAL creative with the write in option. We're gonna hit /d/ levels in no time
>>
>>2628232
>>2628230
>>2628223
>>2628218
there is something fucky going on with all of these 1 posters going with the same option voting almost 1 minute after the other
>>
>>2628200
>>Your wife with your daughter's head deep between her legs, moaning
Your wife needed to use succubutt powers to calm down your daughter after she got suicidal after trying to commit matricide
>>
>>2628200
>Your wife with your daughter's head deep between her legs, moaning

It's actually all just me samefagging anyways.

I felt it was a more appropriate way to showcase why having a straight up totally open sandbox is a bad idea.

Like.

It will fuck the quest sooner or later when Anons ACTUALLY pick an out of character / retard joke or fetish option and then you have either the wonderful world of retcons a la Hollow Quest Redux or the hot shit mess that is Handlers playerbase demanding every entitled "lol so random" be met without any consequence and a million rerolls fir their Mary sue fetish bait bullshit.

> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zVH79lFQaHM#

Caught Up Anon you are the condensed garbage of every terrible quest vote and I fucking hate you. "Hurr durr we need to reroll even inconsequential failures because I feel embarrassed when the MC is embarrassed and I can't handle even the smallest of failures in a game because my life is one big failure".

Sorry.

Going through some things right now and that's leaking through.

But seriously I samefagged the shit out of that vote.

I just really do like your writing so far, but I've been hurt before.
>>
>>2628218
>>2628223
>>2628232
>>2628237

Yeah just discount these votes. IDK why I even thought that would be clever and not just dickish. I've been awake for a VERY long time.
>>
>>2628250
Eh I'm probably going to just drop before it gets too that point. I signed up for dad ruining his daughters magical girl shenanigans, not dad ruining his daughters magical girl pussy.
>>
File: 1437602519604.png (173 KB, 480x676)
173 KB
173 KB PNG
>>2628200
>Your wife and daughter hugging in your daughter's bed
You can still stop this madness QM.
>>
>>2628243
>>2628241
>>2628217
>>2628211


Find Wife and daughter hugging in bed among a house that has been both magically and non-magically destroyed? The worked their shit out, with some minor and a bit of major property damage sound like a decent compromise?
>>
>>2628274
I'm fine with that.
>>
>>2628274
That sounds great
>>
>>2628274
I'll third that that.
>>
This looks like the vote tallies:

House destruction:
>>2628211
>>2628217


Hugs:
>>2628212
>>2628241
>>2628243
>>2628273


You know, that one option:
>>2628218
>>2628223
>>2628230
>>2628232
>>2628237
>>2628261

Wait warmly, samefags are preparing.
>>
>>2628278
Smashed dishes, overturned tables, smoking holes in the walls, strange glow coming from the shrubbery in the backyard as it writhes and *twists* both in a wind that isn't blowing as well as in and out if your vision while definitely still being *somewhere* even when your eyes insist that there's nothing to be seen where it is?
>>
>>2628264
>Handlers playerbase demanding every entitled "lol so random" be met without any consequence and a million rerolls fir their Mary sue fetish bait bullshit.
he has more quests other than the magical girl crossover right now?
>>
>>2628291
Man, sounds like an awful lot of dad projects out there.
>>
After all the work we had to leave this family "normal" again
Some samefag are going to turn this in a incest? Come on guys
>>
>>2628292
There's the "everyone is a monster girl" fetish quest, the "Magical Monster Girl fetish quest, the "succubus successor 5o Assassin School" monstergirl fetish quest, and the Isekai monstergirl fetish quest.

Aw shit I meant Headmaster not Handler. Handler is cool and his player base is real and heterosexual.
>>
>>2628298
This is why we need to adopt more magical girls, demons, cyber-lolis, whatever.

Make them learn the value of honest work, pride in your home, and a lush and healthy lawn.

Like that Blue haired girl. We gotta redirect all that pent up energy into something healthy like fixing up an old '76 Camaro.
>>
>>2628311
she could even infuse it with magic, so it uses way less gallons per mile.
>>
>>2628318
Or it fuels up on the energy of the defeated demons!
>>
File: E38VXBp_d.jpg (58 KB, 640x1316)
58 KB
58 KB JPG
>>2628299
I did this.

I'm only so.ewhat sorry.
>>
>Your wife and daughter hugging in your daughter's bed
>>
File: Spoiler Image (9 KB, 300x168)
9 KB
9 KB JPG
>>2628200
You appear in the front hall of your house, the rat secured in your pocket.

This was not what you'd expected to see, but you probably should have.

You left with your daughter trying to kill your wife. Left, in a way that dates back to the cavemen - go hang out with another dad while the women sort through their stuff.

You just hadn't expected the sorting to be so VIOLENT.

It's a lot worse than the times you and your father sorted things out.

The potted plants are smashed, earth and flowers spilling out on the floor. A few of the tiles in the entryway are broken. Pictures are - god, you really liked that one picture too. At best their glass is smashed, and at worst the canvasses were ripped apart.

Oh, and then there are the scorch marks and bullet holes. Bullet holes? You pick up the pace, heading toward the odd noises you hear from further in.

It looks like two dynamos of destruction rampaged through your house. Lots of family projects here.

You're tempted to say, cynically, that they're dad projects, but when someone makes a mess in this family, god, they are going to help clean it up!

It'll be bonding time. And god knows this family needs to bond.

Finally, you make it to your daughter's room, walking through a hallway that will need all its sheetrock replaced.

...almost looks like someone's head got slammed into the wall in a couple places.

Then you seen them on the bed.

Your wife.

Your daughter.

Your wife is moaning slightly, her clothes ripped, bruises and abrasions covering every inch of her that you can see.

And with those ripped clothes, you can see a lot.

Your daughter is not doing much better. she might have gone frilly, but her frills are in tatters.

And your wife has your daughter's head between her legs in a triangle choke. [Image is now relevant]

...while she's hugging her with those fluffy tails. You can almost see the love in the way they caress your daughter, even if she doesn't want the affection.

You're really not sure what to say, and they're both concentrated on each other.

>Just stand and watch
>"So, good talk?"
>"The female of the species really is deadlier than the male"
>"Does this mean I can't tell the doctor I 'feel safe in my own home' anymore?"
>Write in
>>
>>2628332
>>"So, good talk?"
>>"Does this mean I can't tell the doctor I 'feel safe in my own home' anymore?"
QM, you fucker.
>>
File: facepalm.jpg (15 KB, 618x407)
15 KB
15 KB JPG
>>2628332
>>"So, good talk?"
Had me worried for a moment.
>>
>>2628332
>"So, i guess she hasn't calmed down yet?"
>"Should i go grab the first aid kit or are you both ok?"

wonderfully played, qm
>>
>>2628332
>"So, good talk?"
>"Does this mean I can't tell the doctor I 'feel safe in my own home' anymore?"
>>
>>2628332
WE HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED!

Step 1: Secure Rat. This is probably his fetish.

Step 2: Repress any possibility of this being our fetish.

Step three: Audible sigh of disappointment combined.

Step four: Ask if your Wife and Daughter want to go out for Ice Cream instead of dealing with the trashed house, or if your daughter would prefer to get choked out first and sent to bed without ice cream at all. Just us and the Wife will have Ice Crean in that case. We might even eat some of it.

Honestly not sure why we tried to handle this without ice cream in the first place. That's like Magical Girl brainwashing hack 101 right there. Oh right we aren't a weeb.

Still. That plus instinctive "Ew Gross" factor of parents flirting should snap out daughter into sullen acceptance of cold treats and wholesome family bonding
>>
>>2628334
>QM, you fucker.
We've all been hurt before. >>2628264 , I feel you.

I just want to make sure nobody gets hurt too badly today.

First voting post at 10:57 - voting ends 11:07.
>>
File: 1425900885714.jpg (6 KB, 220x220)
6 KB
6 KB JPG
>>2628332
>"So, good talk?"
>>
>>2628332
>>"So, good talk?"
>>
>>2628332
>"So, good talk?"

You got me good there Haiku, bravo.
>>
>>2628332
>"So, good talk?"
>"Does this mean I can't tell the doctor I 'feel safe in my own home' anymore?"
>>
>>2628332
>"So, good talk?"
>>
>>2628332
You clear your throat, and they turn their heads toward you, slightly shocked.

Well, your wife turns toward you. Your daughter's head is... constrained.

"So," you ask, in your dadliest voice, "good talk?"

"The best we've had in a while," you wife says, with a twinge of pain, "Also the most honest."

Well, that's good. Who cares about property damage when the family's at stake?

"Does this mean I have to say 'No' when the doctor asks me if I feel safe in my own home?" you ask, very innocently.

Your wife laughs, and uncrosses her legs. Your daughter falls forward on the bed, gasping for breath, then snuggles up to your wife. The tails encircle them both.

"You should feel more safe with two people like us on your side, daddy," she says, "nobody sane would try to get in here!"

"I was just teaching her a submission hold," your wife says, looking at you with eyes that you feel you have to try looking away from, just to prove you can, "we finished up our DISCUSSION a while ago."

You did manage to look away from those eyes for a second, then locked your gaze back with hers.

She starts laughing. "That's why I married you!" she says, "now are you going to give us a scolding about what we did to the house?"

>Give scolding [write in scolding particulars]
>No, but you two are going to have to help repair it
>Go off about your favorite painting getting ripped in half
>Just hug them
>>
>>2628381
>No, but you two are going to have to help repair it
>Just hug them
So wholesome it becomes a sexual fetish.
>>
>>2628381
>>Just hug them
>>
File: Spoiler Image (118 KB, 1095x730)
118 KB
118 KB JPG
>>2628381
>>Go off about your favorite painting getting ripped in half
>IT WAS A FUCKING MASTERPIECE! Even if i won it in the job's christmas giveaway, it gave me hope and happiness everyday! Even on the darkest ones!
>>
>>2628381
>No, but you two are going to have to help repair it
>Just hug them
>>
>>2628381
hug them
mention needing to punish mom in private in a way that daughter hopefully doesn't pick up on.
"We'll need to figure out what to do about the damages in private"
>>
>>2628381
>Go off about your favorite painting getting ripped in half
and this, totally >>2628392
>>
>>2628386
First voting post at 11:24 - voting closes at 11:44

I started this quest to do a little experimentation, and I like how timing votes off of the first post is working so far.
>>
>>2628400
Yeah it's keeping a pretty decent pace. Making sure that it doesn't remain a slog.
>>
>>2628400
yeah i like it too
>>
>>2628381
> Just hug them

Pat daughters head and wifes bum.

> So, there's magic for fixing all this up, right? . . . . Right?
>>
>>2628381 #
>No, but you two are going to have to help repair it
>Just hug them
>>
>>2628410
> So, there's magic for fixing all this up, right? . . . . Right?
that's a great thing to add
>>
>>2628381
>>No, but you two are going to have to help repair it
>>Just hug them
The cuddlepile. Greatest joy of a family man.
>>
>>2628381
>No, but you two are going to have to help repair it
And with no magic ether
>>
>>2628381
"No," you say, diving into the bed and giving the two of them a bear hug, "but the two of you are going to help repair it."

One of your hands tousles your daughter's hair, and the other one somehow finds its way to your wife's ass.

They both give you very different looks.

And then you daughter notices where your other hand is, and looks scandalized as hell.

"He my DAD!" she says to your wife.

"And I'm your mother," your wife says, "you do know that's why you're here, right? I'm sure your school couldn't have been THAT lacking in their sex ed, but we could give," she smiles with an absolutely predatory grin, "some home tutoring."

The look on your daughter's face is priceless, and your wife bursts out into a barking laugh.

"I'm not joking," you say, fixing both of them with a stare, "you made this mess, and you're both going to help repair it. We're going to do this as a family."

"And yes, young lady," you say, patting your daughter's head, "that does mean you'll be taking a few days off school."

"And away from your friends," her mother adds, "I'm really not sure they've been a good influence."

Well, you agree with that.

>Go to the school to get a few days' of vacation for your daughter
>Ask the wife about another trip to the in-laws, sometime soon
>MONTAGE SEQUENCE OF HOME REPAIR
>Try to get a quiet moment with your wife for a private conversation
>Write in
>>
>>2628449
>Try to get a quiet moment with your wife for a private conversation

No more secrets right?
>>
>>2628449
>>MONTAGE SEQUENCE OF HOME REPAIR
>>
>>2628449
>>MONTAGE SEQUENCE OF HOME REPAIR
>>
>>2628449
>Try to get a quiet moment with your wife for a private conversation
>>
>>2628449
>MONTAGE SEQUENCE OF HOME REPAIR
CUE UP THAT 80's MUSIC BOYS!
>>
>>2628451
11:58 - 12:08, you know the drill.

And I hope you don't know the 'dryl
>>
>>2628449
>Ask the wife about another trip to the in-laws, sometime soon

Guys, before Home Repair comes fixing our daughters situation.

I can't wait to see the Rats face when we pull it out in front of a bunch of foxes.

Anyone ever really think about the phrase "Fox in a henhouse"? They're vicious little sociopaths at heart.

And I bet the Rat will figure that out right quick when they find out what he did to their grandkid.

Fixing her shit is probably beyond him, but we can use him to get at his boss. Besides if he's a magical Japanese salaryman he probably hates his Boss, and odds are he has an M fetish as well so a life of being bullied by sexy foxes is probably best end for him.
>>
>>2628449
>>MONTAGE SEQUENCE OF HOME REPAIR
Play the music, boys.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFrMLRQIT_k
>>
>>2628449
>Ask the wife about another trip to the in-laws, sometime soon
>MONTAGE SEQUENCE OF HOME REPAIR
>>
>>2628449
Also

> Home Repair Montage

Just in case of a tie I'll vote for this

> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KVYHAAy9CwY
>>
>>2628449
>Try to get a quiet moment with your wife for a private conversation
>>
>>2628449
> Dad vs Demons

> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qw0vnyVYurQ

Aight gnight yall
>>
>>2627506
>Mind giving me lessons if I give you this Contract Rat?
>>
>>2628485
Well, I feel sheepish. Definitely should have refreshed the page first.
>>
File: Marion6.jpg (245 KB, 540x759)
245 KB
245 KB JPG
>>2628449
Securing a few days off school for your daughter for a 'family vacation' is a little paperwork nightmare.

But you blast through it.

She needs it.

And your journey through the PTO system of your accounting firm is even more nightmarish.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btPJPFnesV4

...Can that rat actually just pull music out of nowhere? Cheesy eighties montage music blares as you show your daughter how to use a jigsaw.

Rising up, back in the hallway.

You've done your time, taken your chances.

Just a man and his will to remodel.

And your wife's will to connect with her daughter.

And your daughter's will to really get to know the parents she'd taken for granted her whole life, and realize that they're actually people too.

You do the distance, now you're back on your feet.

You haven't changed your dreams for glory, you think, hefting a cut piece of sheetrock.

It's the eye of the fox, driving the screws into the wall, and the eye of your daughter, it's the will of a family putting their house back together.

You don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past, building them back into the present.

Rising up to the challenge of your rival, and the sheetrock dust.

The last known survivors (of a home remodeling project).

Learning the skill to survive.

Rising up, straight to the top, have the mop, and the glory.

Those few days flash past too fast, the education of your daughter and wife on power tools, the little arguments about what paint colors to use, the arguments you give up two sentences in about interior decorating - it goes too fast.

You've never seen those expressions on your daughter's face before.

This is a real family togetherness thing. And you'd never have thought fox tails could make such effective paintbrushes.

...Of course, you had to brush and clean them out afterward, but it was entirely worth it.

After the vacation days and the weekend, the three of you looked back at an utterly restored and cleaned house.

It was totally worth it.

Worth it just to see the expression on your daughter's face, as she realized she could build, not just break.

>And suddenly, your daughter's friends show up
>Then you grab your wife for a private conversation
>Of course, you have to go back to work on Monday
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2628501

>And suddenly, your daughter's friends show up
>>
>>2628501
>>And suddenly, your daughter's friends show up

THE PLOT THICKENS
>>
>>2628501
>And suddenly, your daughter's friends show up.

>In swimsuits.

>God dammit.
>>
>>2628501
>Then you grab your wife for a private conversation
>And suddenly, your daughter's friends show up

Bonus points if the second happens in the middle of the first.
>>
>>2628501
>And suddenly, your daughter's friends show up

As much as I want that private conversation with the wife, her friends are probably wondering where she's been.
>>
>>2628501
my sides, that was amazing

this: >>2628508
>>
File: ask me what I did.png (183 KB, 361x257)
183 KB
183 KB PNG
>>2628505
12:32 - 12:52, unless there's a clear winner before that. You know the drill.

>>2628511
>my sides, that was amazing
I write better home remodeling montages than incest montages - trust me.
>>
>>2628501
>>Of course, you have to go back to work on Monday
Accounting Simulator 2018.
>>
>>2628501
> And suddenly, your daughter's friends show up

Oh look, more helping hands!
>>
>>2628501
>Of course, you have to go back to work on Monday
gotta earn(and count) those dollars, man
>>
>>2628501
>And suddenly, your daughter's friends show up
>>
Fucking asshole daughters friends.
>>
>>2628543
We have our wife for that. No need to involve them.
>>
>>2628501
So you're in the living room, moving the couch a few inches to the right for the umpteenth time, under the strangely precise eye of your wife.

...an eye that's startlingly colorblind. But you should have expected that.

You apparently married a fox, after all.

Then you hear voices from out front. The windows are open so the paint can air out.

Your daughter was out front, sanding and staining kitchen cabinet fronts, you remember, as the tone of angry voices filters in through the window.

Local toughs? Bad dudes (bad enough to rescue the president)? Demons? Magical squirrels? - the possibilities flash through your mind, until you notice your wife looking out the window and giggling.

But trying to hide it with a hand. She beckons you, and you walk over.

Looks like your daughters friends, the magical girl friends, have shown up.

And your daughter is arguing with them.

Your little Melon is arguing with them?

You're proud. It's an improvement over last time they were around.

>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listen
>Steal a kiss from your wife
>Go out front and tell those kids to get off your lawn
>Go out front and back your daughter up
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2628562
>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listen
I trust our Melon to do the right thing, or call for us if neccessary.
>>
>>2628548
We really should put another baby in our wife when this is all said and done.
>>2628562
>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listen
Only jump out if things aren't going our daughteru's way and they try to get physical with her.
>>
>>2628565
13:00 - 13:20, unless there's a clear winner and voting seems to have died down.

You know the drill.

>>2628548
That's a fucking great pun.
>>
>>2628562
>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listen
>>
>>2628562
>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listen
>Steal a kiss from your wife
>>
>>2628562
>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listen
>Steal a kiss from your wife
>>
>>2628562
>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listen
>>
>>2628568
How many private sessions do we have to do with our wife before we make a baby sibling for our Melon?
>>
>>2628562
>>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listen
>>Steal a kiss from your wife
>>
>>2628562
>>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listen
Get the shotgun ready in case they try something.
>>
>>2628562
>>Stay with your wife at the window and try to listen
>>
>>2628562
>Grab the shotgun and squirrel and peep out the door to see what's happening
>>
>>2628562
>Go out front and back your daughter up
>>
>>2628582
Honestly not sure whether kitsune follow canine estrus cycles (going into heat) or human 'period' cycles.

So really no clue.

TL Note: "no clue" is QM-speak for "I'll pull it out of my back pocket to fuck with you sometime later"
>>
>>2628597
>TL Note: "no clue" is QM-speak for "I'll pull it out of my back pocket to fuck with you sometime later"
I'm beginning to love you QM.
>>
>>2628562
> WRITE IN

Narrate the commentary to have them be arguing about the recent Vegas Golden Knights performance in the playoffs.
>>
File: d30.jpg (268 KB, 841x1442)
268 KB
268 KB JPG
>>2628597
Or, you could go this route.
>>
>>2628585
>>2628592

Also make sure the Squirrel can't interfere.
>>
File: PROGRESS THE STORYLINE.png (380 KB, 753x323)
380 KB
380 KB PNG
>>2628609
I run EVERYTHING off of "IT JUST WORKS".
>>
>>2628614
But QM, this

> https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oXcwYgoGR0E#

Is how foxes work.

Why would I post this when you need to write? I dunno.
>>
>>2628621
>That enlarged preview shot

Uh Jim, what am I looking at here?...
>>
>>2628628
Yandere that crosses dimensions, Anon


> It's not a bug, it's a feature

You can skip to 14:00 to get to the meat of the issue.
>>
File: The Guard Looks At You.jpg (114 KB, 600x450)
114 KB
114 KB JPG
>>2628634
So what does that have to do with this
>"The person I love is a few centimeters above me, putting their mouth on another girl's vagina and sucking out another man's semen."
Can I get an explanation about that?
>>
>>2628562
Standing with your wife at the window and listening seems like a good idea.

She certainly thinks it's funny.

And.. honestly, you're inclined to think that too.

Little Melon should be in her school's debate club, if she's not already.

She's dancing artfully around "my mom's what you'd call a demon" and "you know I could call my dad to amputate another two limbs?", but doing it in such a way that the implication is there.

Pink hair - Mary, right? has arguments and questions circling around that first point. She's driving in at why Marion's suddenly gained a seeming love, or at least acceptance for 'demons'.

Marion's fending them off with philosophical ideas - buddhism and taoism flowing from her tongue like water.

"She's a little better with her words than we ever were," you say to your wife, and nudge her.

"Her friends are more into fists than words," she says, "look at that blue-haired girl. She'd rather die fighting than live another day. And the redhead's not much better. Pink hair is only rational as long as rationality is her best weapon - once it's not, she'll pull out whatever it takes to do the job. And," she pauses, "I can't get a read on black hair there. It's almost like she's just watching."

She looks up at you with eyes a notch above what you've seen on any demon, and say "you know we've never been as good at words as with other things."

"So I can't fault those girls," she continues breathlessly.

>Kiss her
>Fuck her
>Just hug her
>Head out front to stand behind your daughter
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2628644
More than one waifu will ruin your laifu.

Look if you want the cliffs notes version there it is.

Otherwise watch it. I don't want to spoil it.
>>
>>2628654
>Kiss her
>Fuck her
Why not both at the same time with handholding?

>>2628659
Alright
>>
>>2628654
>Kiss her
>Just hug her
Just you wait until tonight, you minx.
>>
>>2628654
>Hug her
>>
>>2628654
>>Kiss her
>>Just hug her
>"Later."
>>
File: not human but cute.png (34 KB, 407x319)
34 KB
34 KB PNG
>>2628660
13:34 - 13:54, unless things are foregone before then, ya know the drill.

>>2628660
>Why not both at the same time with handholding?
Well, you know who's out there...
>>
>>2628654
>Kiss her
>Hug her
>Promise to bend her ass over tea kettle and pound her like a bad sidewalk later.
>>
>>2628654
>Kiss her
>Fuck her

INFRONT OF THE DAUGHTERS FRIENDS.
>>
>>2628654
>Kiss her
Can't get frisky yet. Things might head south and we'll have to back up the daughter.

Also I don't want blue overhearing and trying anything
>>
>>2628654
Even better lets do some cleaning but make it look like we are fucking from the outside, like austin power
>>
>>2628654
>Kiss her

Gotta be ready at a moment's notice to jump in if necessary.
>>
>>2628654
>Kiss her
>>
>>2628654
>WRITE IN

Turn on some rock and roll.

Stroll out with shotgun.

> GIRLS. WHY. DO. YOU. HATE AMERICA?

> We got white folk, we got brown folk, we got black folk, we got fox folk.

> You dress up in your little klu klux outfits and come out here, harassing my family, harassing my wife who has never done anything to warrant such BLATANT discrimination!

> I don't call you out for the massacre of Iwo Jima, where I lost an Uncle and a part of my Father that we never got back.

> I don't call you a soulless slanty vagina gook bitch because your peoe slaughtered and tortured innocent people and children like they were animals, and never had the decency to even apologize despite it taking not one but two nukes to get them to stop.

> We don't hold with that kind of ray-ciss bullshit here in the land of the free!

Pop a few rounds in the ground by the Pink one.

> But if you do insist on coming at me and mine, I'll make sure to finish our conflict in a manner so similar to dropping a nuklear can of whoopass on all y'alls that you'll grow through the rest of life with anime eyes on account of how swollen they are from having the sense your parents never taught you beat into your asses.

> Alternatively you can come on in and as long as you are polite and check yourselves, you're welcome in our house as our daughters friends, even if I personally think you have all the charm of a spitting cobra with none of the style and twice the spit.
>>
>>2628654
Or just

> Kiss her

Fuck I dunno whybI write in I'm just getting more off the wall sorry yall.
>>
>>2628654
>Head out front to stand behind your daughter
>>
>>2628688
You should probably take a nap. Or get some food in you.
>>
>>2628685
You should just try running quests.

No, seriously. You seem to want to create a larger canvas than can be pushed through the 'vote slot' of a quest thread.

Even if you fold up the painting.

Get out there and create something! Something awful, something good, something that becomes a genre staple - you have the potential for it.

Write your own story.

And write it well.
>>
>>2628685
Supporting this because by god, The is a writein
>>
I think these are the votes.

I'm pretty sure.

If you provide a convincing argument before I'm done writing, we'll hold QM Court here.

It's like Ace Attorney, except it's about quests and not murder.


Kiss:
>>2628660
>>2628662
>>2628667
>>2628672
>>2628674
>>2628681
>>2628684
>>2628688
Hug:
>>2628662
>>2628665
>>2628667
>>2628672


That second option:
>>2628660
>>2628673
>>
>>2628685
I don't think theyre japanes though
>>
>>2628695
I don't have consistent time to write a quest at the moment sadly, in the middle of a big move and setting up aruling term research project at work. Fucking ethics boards, man, fucking athletes, they're so difficult to get the time to work with.

I mostly just sperg writing with no intent for any of it to be taken wholesale, just if anyone likes pieces here or there they can take it and run with it.

Also I can't write dialogue consistently. Any character I write would be ADD as fuck.
>>
>>2628733
They're magical girls and this is America, I assume at least one is some kind of Asian. Gooks aren't Japanese either, they're Korean.

Which makes the accusation of racism followed by blatant racism even funnier in my opinion.

An I trying to goad them into starting shit so our Wife can wreck them, transferring Blues creepy obsession into her? Maybe. Maybe.
>>
File: It's a Sue.jpg (538 KB, 602x840)
538 KB
538 KB JPG
>>2628654
You see the look in those eyes, and you lean in to kiss her.

There's just something, you don't don't know what it is - whether it's her magic nature or your male desire, that screams this is the best idea.

Uh, it's a pretty good idea.

You could spend time describing how her mouth is, or what you did in it, or the prick of those little teeth.

You won't. That's not what matters here.

You are leaning out a window, on the front of a decent house, in a suburb, and you are frenching the hell out of your wife - and she's getting into it too.

This is definitely why god created suburbs. This it what this house, this windowsill, were created for.

You love her, she's in a similar situation, and you're together.

That's what matters.

Well, really, it's only part of what matters. Because the philosophical discussions are getting disrupted.

Blue Hair - Sue? flies toward you, screaming "he's mine, bitch!"

...And your wife decides, before you can do anything, to leap out the window to meet her in midair.

Really, you never thought you'd have women FIGHTING over you.

You were never worth that much.

..and then little Melon yells "he's my DAD, Sue! And she's my MOM!"

>Pull Sue off your wife
>Join your wife in he fight against Sue
>Just, you know, pop some popcorn and enjoy the catfight
WRITE IN
>>
>>2628754
>>Just, you know, pop some popcorn and enjoy the catfight
we are too tired for this shit. just keep the shotgun nearby if we need to amputate her arms again.
>>
>>2628754
Shove some popcorn in your mouth, get the shotgun and this >>Join your wife in he fight against Sue
>>
>>2628754
>pull wife off sue
Jesus. Were in public. And i dont want the trouble grabbing a struggling teenager on the front yard would bring.
>>
>>2628754
>Just, you know, pop some popcorn and enjoy the catfight


>>2628765
We're in America I think, this is just normal. Also the other one can use magical Bullshit to hide this fight and what not.
>>
>>2628754
>>Pull Sue off your wife
>>
>>2628754
>Pull Sue off your wife
She's psycho, don't downplay the danger she poses to our wife.
>>
>>2628755
You know the rules. 20min after 14:10 - so 14:30 is the vote deadline

>>2628765
>Jesus. We're in public
You're never in public when someone's holding a "Nothing To See Here Folks, Move Along!" field over you

And Harriet (black hair) is around to do that.
>>
>>2628778
Bless her dearly for being the least retarded of their merry little band.
>>
>>2628754
>Pull Sue off your wife

Sorry kid, I wasn't into little girls when I was your age much less now.
>>
>>2628754
>Pull Sue off your wife
>>
>>2628754
>Just, you know, pop some popcorn and enjoy the catfight
>our wife can handle herself
>>
>>2628754
>>Just, you know, pop some popcorn and enjoy the catfight
>>
>>2628754
Lets just pull her off and deal with the whole I'm married thing.

And there should be no issue with mom, even rat said she's cool.
>>
>>2628754
>Pull Sue off your wife

A catfight could quickly escalate into something lethal if Blue's involved.
>>
>>2628754
>Just, you know, pop some popcorn and enjoy the catfight
Invite Harriet to have some popcorn. She is the most useful one of them all
>>
>>2628754
>>Just, you know, pop some popcorn and enjoy the catfight
>>
Pop some popcorn and enjoy women fighting over you:
>>2628755
>>2628767
>>2628806
>>2628811
>>2628812

Intervene:
>>2628759
>>2628765
>>2628768
>>2628774
>>2628787
>>2628788
>>2628808
>>2628810

Looks like people want to get into this fight, unless I miscounted,

Wait warmly, writefags are preparing
>>
>>2628754
>>Pull Sue off your wife
SUPLEX
>>
File: Being a Sue is Suffering.jpg (1.5 MB, 2031x2952)
1.5 MB
1.5 MB JPG
>>2628754
This isn't something you thought you'd ever see.

A teenage girl in a frilly, midriff-baring miniskirt (and is the navel piercing part of her costume?) fighting your wife.

Over you.

They're really going at it even before you can get there.

...and you just did the landscaping on your front yard.

So you do what any decent father would do.

You pull the teenage girl off your wife, yelling "she's mine, bitch!"

You collapse in a heap on your front lawn, your wife floating down inches away. You might have suplexed the poor girl.

Accidentally suplexed. Your wife smiles at you, all her tails unfurling.

"Light 'em up!" you hear a voice yell from your driveway - it's the pink haired one, "they've all been corrupted!"

>Dash at the pink-haired chick
>"Can't we talk this out?"
>"Look, dear," you say to your wife, "let's just take them out!"
>"You're tearing up my lawn you fucking kids!"
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2628874
>"You're tearing up my lawn you fucking kids!"

"RAT GET THEM TO BACK THE FUCK OFF NOW!"
>>
>>2628874
>>"Look, dear," you say to your wife, "let's just take them out!"
>>
>>2628874
>WRITE IN

Pull out the rat to hold hostage until he can explain to them that they need to fuck right off with this bullshit and calm down.

Where are their parents even.
>>
>>2628874

I'll second these: >>2628883
>>2628885
>>
>>2628885
THIS!^
>>
>>2628874
>>"Can't we talk this out?"
>>
>>2628874
>>"You're tearing up my lawn you fucking kids!"
>>
>>2628883
14:47 - 15:07, ya know. Voting period and all that.

Rolls would be great, but I forgot to ask for them.

Roll anyway. Give me dice. I'm a demon that lives on dice rolls.
>>
>>2628874
>"Can't we talk this out?"
For Melon's sake if nothing else.
>>
>>2628874
>>"You're tearing up my lawn you fucking kids!"
>>
>>2628885
This looks right
>>
>>2628885
Support
>>
Rolled 73, 75, 20, 73, 18, 56, 6, 30, 76, 23, 98, 42, 85, 87, 26, 87, 5, 12, 93, 13, 68, 23, 84, 18, 9 = 1200 (25d100)

>>2628893
HERE'S YOUR DICE ROLLS ALL THE FUCKIN DICE ROLLS YOU WANT!
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>2628874
>>2628893
>"You're tearing up my lawn you fucking kids!"
>>
>>2628874
The rat is your bitch now, make him spout some more bullshit to defend us.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>2628874
>>2628885
>"You're tearing up my lawn you fucking kids!"

And rolls >>2628893
>>
>>2628874
>"I am getting real tired of this shit. Get the fuck off my lawn or else I will bring out my Boomstick, and you really dont want me to bring out my Boomstick."
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>2628893
>>2628874
>"You're tearing up my lawn you fucking kids!"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>2628893
>>2628895 here

Rolling
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>2628874
>FUCK YOU I PAY MY TAXES NO CORRUPTION HERE
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>2628893
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>2628893
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>2628874
Fucking phone posting faggot ass name f>>2628893
agging.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>2628893
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>2628893
>>
>>2628910
>>2628874
Supporting shouting this no matter what else we do.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>2628874
>"You're tearing up my lawn you fucking kids!"
>ACTIVE DAD FORM 2
>>
File: 1525859293475.jpg (74 KB, 600x600)
74 KB
74 KB JPG
>>2628916
>>
File: get off my lawn.gif (924 KB, 500x188)
924 KB
924 KB GIF
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>2628874
>Get off my lawn.
>>
>>2628901
I am sustained for another day by your rolls.

I'll just take the first one, though.
>>
File: sip.png (255 KB, 600x600)
255 KB
255 KB PNG
>These rolls
Oh boy. Is it best of 3?
>>
File: Blank Stares.png (52 KB, 173x555)
52 KB
52 KB PNG
>>2628928
It's average of however many get through before voting ends.
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>2628893
>>
>>2628932
How mediocre. Literally.

How about doing the median instead just to be exciting?
>>
>>2628932
well that's great, that 2 and 4 just got us all killed then.

>>2628874
voting >>2628885
fucking cunt animal, they turn our girls into murderous cultists or some shit jesus
>>
File: Perfect Woman.png (144 KB, 605x181)
144 KB
144 KB PNG
>>2628928
>>2628932
More accurately, how many go over the 'check' threshold for whatever you're trying.

Which often becomes an average.
>>
>>2628874
"Get off my lawn, kids!" you yell, summoning generations of American dadliness into your voice and presence.

"Technically," the pink haired chick - Mary? says, "only one of us is on your lawn. And you slammed her there. The rest of us are on your driveway."

"And she's there because she tried to assault my wife," you say, and Mary shrugs, "I PAY MY TAXES! I want the police!"

"Serves her right," she says, "even with what your wife IS. I'm leaving her on your lawn as an acceptable loss. Your choice what to do with her. File charges or something," she says, flipping her hair as she walks away.

And she turns, the black haired girl (Harriet?) following her like a shadow. The redhead gives a glance back, and seems torn between following her leader and lunging at you.

>Taunt the redhead
>Ask your wife for advice
>Pull out the rat
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2629003
>>Pull out the rat
>>
>>2629003
>>WRITE IN
>capture the bluehead and call the cops. after all she DID assault your wife and it seems like the others don't care about her in the slightest.
>>
>>2629003
>Ask the wife for advice, we're a dad.
>>
>>2629003
>>WRITE IN
Ask the wife to get some rope from inside to tie up blue, and call the cops.

Also does sue have arms?
>>
>>2629003
>Pull out the rat
taunt them all
>>
>>2629003
>>Pull out the rat
we're going to need to find out how that contract magic stuff works at some point
>>
>>2629003
>>Pull out the rat
>>WRITE IN
>capture the bluehead and call the cops. after all she DID assault your wife and it seems like the others don't care about her in the slightest.

ALL OF THIS WE WILL BE COMPENSATED FOR THEIR ACTIONS!
>>
>>2629006
15:24 - 15:44, with usual disclaimer.

I had a hell of a time counting votes for the last one. Please, for the love of all things DAD, reply to my last story post if you're voting. Even if you're just supporting a write-in, please reply to the root post.

Just helps me keep track of things.
>>
>>2629003
This >>2629009
She'll stop being so smug once blue is charged with assault.
>>
>>2629003
Ask the wife to call the cops. Keep an eye on the girls until they get here.
>>
>>2629003
>Ignore her, check in what state the blue tornado is
>throw her towards her friend if she's not too terribly injured
suing would be a really american thing to do, but ugh, paperwork
>>
>>2629003
>Pull out the rat
>capture the bluehead and call the cops. after all she DID assault your wife and it seems like the others don't care about her in the slightest.

Melon or Wife can call the cops, we gotta put the fear of God into these psychopathic hooligans

>Speak Loud and Clear, telling the rat that if those girls leave our property without our say-so we'll snap its fucking neck and then shoot its head off for good measure. It's time for it to pull whatever clout it has with this group or its ass is grass
>>
>>2629003
Ignore Pinky. Aquire blueberry. Give her an ultimatum to either help fix up the yard or we'll call the police, her choice.
>>
>>2629053
Knowing bluey she's not gonna care about da popo but whatever works I guess
>>
>>2629003
Is Blue still missing her arms, or did she regrow them?
>>
>>2629081
seems like she regrow them
>>
File: This is also Mary.jpg (1.68 MB, 3500x3500)
1.68 MB
1.68 MB JPG
>>2629003
"Alright," you say over your shoulder, "call the cops, Liska. And hold blue-hair there down until they get here."

Your wife's eyes widen at that, and she asks "do you know who controls the cops? They'd take me, they'd take our daughter," she says with a flourish of her tails, "they'd take you, and they'd take her," she says gesturing at the blue-haired girl.

It's not a polite gesture.

There's something welling up in you, the general American hatred and distrust of authority, but it's consumed entirely by the hatred of anyone who'd take your wife and daughter.

"Who controls the cops?" you ask, spreading your arms, one of them holding a shotgun, like you're going to be crucified, "I'm new at this supernatural shit, and I'm just trying to be a decent father and a decent husband (I've already fucked up being a good one)!"

The girl with pink hair stops short, and fixes you with unblinking gold eyes.

"The demons control the cops," she says, "and you're a better father than mine."

Then she keeps walking down the driveway.

She knows more than you.

She knows things that could help keep your family safe.

"I've got your rat," you say, pulling the damn creature out of your pocket and slamming your shotgun against its head.

It's already cocked, a round in the chamber, and the little rodent knows that the bullets it enchanted can put it on a one-way trip to whatever court awaits it in the great beyond.

Pink Hair (Mary?) stops, and turns slowly on her heel.

"Fine," she says, those gold eyes taking in the threat to her contractor, "What do you want to know?"

And then, looking cuter than you would ever expect a little warlord to, she asks "and could we please go inside? It's rather taxing on Harriet to keep people not noticing this."

[SET 1:]
>Let's go inside
>Fuck no, we're holding this parley on the driveway - or better yet, in the street
>Just leave, and I won't kill the rat

[SET 2 (if you want this conversation):]
>What the hell is going on?
>What are the demons you fight?
>What did you say about my wife?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2629097
>Fuck no, we're holding this parley on the driveway - or better yet, in the street

>What did you say about my wife?
>>
>>2629097
>>Let's go inside
>What are the demons you fight?
>>
>>2629097
>>Let's go inside
>What are the demons you fight?
>>
>>2629097
>>Let's go inside
>What the hell is going on?
>What are the demons you fight?
>What did you say about my wife?
>>
>>2629097
>>Let's go inside
>>What the hell is going on?
>>
>>2629097
>Fuck no, we're holding this parley on the driveway - or better yet, in the street

>What did you say about my wife?
>>
>>2629097
>Let's go inside
>What are the demons you fight?
>What did you say about my wife?
>>
>>2629085
Seems like it, I was confused by >>2628562 pic.

>>2629109
+1, why not all the above?
>>
>>2629102
First voting post at 15:59 - voting ends at 16:09.

Yeah, we're going for ten minutes, since that seems like the period when most votes come in, and I don't like sitting on my hands.
>>
>>2629097
>Let's go inside
>What the hell is going on?
Followed by dad rambling, kids these days, when I was a child the girls played with dolls.
>>
>>2629097
>>Let's go inside
>>What are the demons you fight?
>>
>>2629097
>Fuck no, we're holding this parley on the driveway - or better yet, in the street
>What are the demons you fight?
>>
>>2629097
We have a backyard right? If we do then let's do the questioning in the backyard if there is one.
>>
>>2629097
> Finally an actually civil suggestion, yes let's go inside.

> But first What did you say about my wife? Because in my house, my say on who is a Demon or not.
>>
>>2629097
>Let's go inside
>What the hell is going on?
everything. Demons, magic girls, rats, demon cops.
>>
>>2629097
>Fuck no, we're holding this parley on the driveway - or better yet, in the street
>What did you say about my wife?
If we're outside then that means they're down one MG since they need to keep up the field.
>>
>>2629097
>>Fuck no, we're holding this parley on the driveway - or better yet, in the street
backyard acceptable

>first rat ass here is gonna explain why my wife is the cool type that's not on the hit list
>>
>>2629097
>>Fuck no, we're holding this parley on the driveway - or better yet, in the street
>>What did you say about my wife?
>>
>>2629097
>Let's go inside
>What the hell is going on?
>>
>>2629119
Switch location to >>2629133.
>>
File: Still Mary.jpg (2.25 MB, 2838x2838)
2.25 MB
2.25 MB JPG
>>2629097
"Alright," you say, a father standing on his lawn holding a shotgun to a rat's head, "let's go inside. And take your blue-haired friend."

Surprisingly, it's your daughter that scrapes 'Sue' off your lawn, and helps the redhead - Karen, wasn't it? to carry the blue-haired psycho into your house.

Everyone files in through the door, and you hear your wife beginning to make tea.

But before you have a nice parley over the teakettle, asking about demons and such, there's something you have to ask this pink-haired chick.

"What did you say about my wife?" you say, gazing deep into those gold eyes. They speak of war, of battles fought, won, and surrendered. Of wars pitting humans against terrifying things from beyond, or against other humans.

The second is far scarier.

"I said that even given what she is," she says, crossing her arms and staring you down, "I'd still leave Blue Hearts with the two of you."

Blue Hearts? So that's the little psycho's magical girl name.

It's like a street name, or a gangsta name? You aren't exactly straight outta Compton yourself, so you've not sure how all that works.

"And what do you mean by 'what she is'?" you ask, pressing the little bundle of godlike power and pubescent bad judgement about what she said about your wife.

"She's a kitsune, isn't she?" the girl asks in frighteningly innocent tones, "lucky she wasn't the Korean version - you'd be down a liver instead of up a great daughter."

"And that's not what you girls hunt?" you ask, "why?"

"Because," she says, fixing you with those gold eyes no girl should have, "they belong here. She belongs here, even if she's supernatural. The things we hunt - they don't."

Then, heeding your wife's call, the two of you go in through the door.

You almost hear the pink haired girl mutter "as you should well know."

>Tea Party in the living room!
>A dad is only as good as his grill - barbecue in the backyard!

(There were a lot of things voted about on this one, so I'm cutting back to just venue here. Don't worry - we'll get back to "what do you hunt?")
>>
>>2629197
>>Tea Party in the living room!
They don't deserves Daddy's special burgers.
>>
>>2629197
ask if they are hungry and if so then
>A dad is only as good as his grill - barbecue in the backyard!
if there not then just do a tea party.
>>
>>2629197
>"Because," she says, fixing you with those gold eyes no girl should have, "they belong here. She belongs here, even if she's supernatural. The things we hunt - they don't."

Fuck that shit. that doesn't excuse the fact that you called us corrupted and tried to kill us moments before.
>>
>>2629205
10min. 16:27 - 16:37.

Because the second ten minutes are usually boring.
>>
>>2629197
>>A dad is only as good as his grill - barbecue in the backyard!
I am dad, therefore I must grill. It is the law.

>"as you should well know."
...I know I'm probably wrong, but my immediate thought is that we have a neice we didn't know about. Who is ever so slightly bitter that we never visit.
>>
>>2629197
>Tea Party in the living room!
Burgers and grilled food are for closes, and these excuses of magical girls don't come close to that.
>>
>>2629197
>>Tea Party in the living room!
>>
>>2629197
>A dad is only as good as his grill - barbecue in the backyard!
>>
>>2629197
>A dad is only as good as his grill - barbecue in the backyard!
Tea party!?!?! What are we BRITISH!!!!!!!!!
>>
>>2629197
>Tea Party in the living room!

We cook for our loved ones, not for these bitches.
>>
>>2629197
>>A dad is only as good as his grill - barbecue in the backyard!
>>
>>2629197
>A dad is only as good as his grill - barbecue in the backyard!

> So you want to explain why that didn't stop you one and all from blindly attacking the moment you saw her, even my own Melonhead going at it?

> What the fuck has this rat been telling you even, and did any of you think to get a second opinion? Little shit has lied to me more than once already. Please don't tell me you actually trust him. He's a Salaryman for god's sake.
>>
>>2629197
>A dad is only as good as his grill - barbecue in the backyard!

We don't half-ass this shit.
>>
Tea Party:
>>2629205
>>2629215
>>2629220
>>2629227

Barbecue:
>>2629208
>>2629213
>>2629221
>>2629224
>>2629230
>>2629232
>>2629243

Please wait warmly, magical douchebags are preparing.

(Does anyone know how saging works on this board? Because I think we hit the limit.)
>>
>>2629258
they sage after a week or 800 posts. but the threads tends to stay up to several weeks.
>>
Didn't these kids watch power rangers growing up like normal preteens? The reason they need teenagers with attitude is cause teens are morons with easily nurtured hero complexes and can be manipulated into doing anything without asking smart questions.

Case in point: the damn TV show and everything that's happened in the past 24 hours

We're a dad, we know our super hero shows
>>
>>2629258
it will probably drop of the board next week
>>
>>2629258
You just hit the bump limit but the thread should still be usable for another week or so
>>
>>2629270
...i'm not sure they watched cartoons. they are the new generation, they grew on youtube and netflix.
>>
>>2629279
I'll put money that the black haired chick is the only one who will get our references.
>>
>>2629258
yup we saging out its the same shit sage works as in any other board. The main difference is the amount of posts to get to that point.
>>
File: 1522895071093.png (1.17 MB, 1701x1080)
1.17 MB
1.17 MB PNG
>>2629279
>youtube and netflix
>The horrifying realization that they are fans of shit tier comedy and entertainers.

Somebody call a priest of the Holy Word because we're gonna need an Exorcist ASAP.
>>
>>2629258
>>2629264
>>2
750 posts or 250 images.
>>
>>2629293

At least they might not be into watching Twitch streamers and LPers?
>>
>>2629300
they are at most 16-18 right now. Twitch streamers exploded in the last four years and their core audience are teens. take a guess.
>>
>>2629282
>black haired chick is the only one who will get our references.
Can we daughteru her? Out of the remaining 4, she's just been the one to not be openly hostile, not to mention the "not notice anything" shield she has has prevented us from being arrested yet
>>
>>2629302
Dad should start up a twitch live stream with him going huntin gdemons and other shit and people will just think its cgi
Get all that hot teen money
>>
File: catsadcafe.gif (408 KB, 408x303)
408 KB
408 KB GIF
>>2629302
>>
>>2629300
We can argue in favor for the LP'ers if the're someone like Researchindicate's LP of JP: Trespasser or Scorchy's LP of KOTOR 2. Otherwise the're all garbage and deserve a good nuclear holocaust.
>>
>>2629197
"Dear," you hear your wife call to you as you walk in, "what about barbecuing? Melon DID bring all her friends over, after all, and the house still smells like paint."

Those are all valid points, definitely, but as you walk past your wife into the kitchen, she whispers "and since we just remodeled this place, let's try to keep it intact. If there's a fight, let's keep it outside."

Ok then. You see her smiling and serving tea to the girls, making small talk about their lives and the romance of highschool, but she's still thinking about what a fight against them might entail.

Did you just meet her, or has she always been like this?

Well, there are steaks in the fridge to celebrate the end of the remodel, and it looks like there's probably enough to feed everyone?

Maybe. You're not sure what using magical powers does to the appetite.

You pull the steaks out of their package, put them on a plate, and season them.

Then you head outside to light the grill.

While you're dumping the charcoal onto it, you hear a noise.

It's:

>Blue Hearts/Sue
>The Redhead/Karen
>That black-haired chick (Harriet?)
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2629300
>LPers
What does it stand for?
>>
>>2629323
>>That black-haired chick (Harriet?)
>>
>>2629324
Let's Players.

>>2629323
>That black-haired chick (Harriet?)
We shall bond with the bestest of their little gang of troglodytes.
>>
>>2629323
>>That black-haired chick (Harriet?)
She seems to have her head screwed on pretty straight
>>
File: Spoiler Image (71 KB, 1031x931)
71 KB
71 KB JPG
>>2629323
>Black-hair
>>
>>2629329
16:53-17:13

You know the drill, except it's half the usual time.

Speed Questing!
>>
>>2629323
>>That black-haired chick (Harriet?)
>>
>>2629324

"Let's Play"-ers.

Basically they play games and stream it.

It's not actually as bad as I make it out to be, as there are quite a few of them that might be enhanced for the experience (clever commentary/fun facts about development) or are useful for people who want to re-experience games that they've lost or are incompatible with modern systems (i.e. King's Quest). But your average LPer is wanting to get youtube famous like Pewdiepie/Markiplier/etc and is usually obnoxious and loud.
>>
File: images.jpg (8 KB, 215x235)
8 KB
8 KB JPG
>>2629323
>>That black-haired chick
she is bringing out her inner weaboo and is going to help with the BBQ.

>>2629324
Lets Play'ers
>>
>>2629337
Should have been 16:53 - 17:03, sorry.
>>
>>2629323
>That black-haired chick (Harriet?)
>>
>>2629309
You can't recognize the Yandere, hey?

Like Blue Hearts is just acting out, normal teenager stuff.

Black Hair is probably going to make a voodoo doll or do some funky shit and one day we have always had two daughters and we bone one of them secretly in the night and then the guilt kicks in and she stabs us for being a rapist, outing us to our family and community but then she realizes that she still loves her Dad and so she gives in to his lust that's actually a love more powerful than even family bonds, and together we flee from the persecution of our unacceptable love ending up with it only being the two of us forever bound by our secret incestuous rape marriage.

I can go more in depth into the motivation and emotional fulfillment she would get by simultaneously having the power to destroy the relationship by exposing us as her rapist fathers, being the daughter and exonerated from guilt I her part, fulfilling the role of Wife and receiving respect and love as an equal because she is "special" for her age, and not having any worry about us leaving her as we would have no other ties left plus the guilt of having raped her and needing to constantly prove that it was REAL LOVE and therefore okay and not us raping our sexy child because we're monster worse than demons.

TL;DR They're all crazy until proven otherwise.
>>
>>2629323
Why does everybody want black hair? I want more of Sue's horny shenanigans
>>
>>2629323
>The Redhead/Karen
>>
>>2629323
>That black-haired chick (Harriet?)
>Help me BBQ
>>
File: TFFFFFW.png (543 KB, 673x733)
543 KB
543 KB PNG
>>2629345
>They're all crazy until proven otherwise.
You, sir, are crazy until proven otherwise.

I mean, so am I.
>>
>>2629323
>>That black-haired chick (Harriet?)
>>
>>2629323
>>The Redhead/Karen
I'm hoping she's at least vaguely rational. It is a weak hope.
>>
>>2629361
Have you read my posts?

I feel like I've proven where I fall on the crazy scale.
>>
>>2629323
That black-haired chick (Harriet
>>
>>2629361
Also fuck yoooouuuuu shameless shilling in your thread. You wanted me to start a quest well here we go.

http://boards.4chan.org/qst/thread/2628798#bottom

I don't know why that was so hostile. You've been nothing but supportive. Thank you for that.
>>
>>2629371
i'd say you fall more on the weird side, rather than on the crazy one.
>>
Black Hair:
>>2629329
>>2629330
>>2629333 (nice GET!)
>>2629335
>>2629339
>>2629341
>>2629344
>>2629357
>>2629362
>>2629373


Blue Hair:
>>2629348

Red Hair:
>>2629352
>>2629370

Replies:
>>2629371
>I feel like I've proven where I fall on the crazy scale.
Well, you're still not crazy enough to be a QM.

Although if you were the guy that tried samefagging this into incest threesomes, you've definitely got potential.
>>
>>2629379
Yeah. That was >>2628328
>>
>>2629375
Unfortunately, I don't have the ability to concentrate on voting in a quest and writing one.
>>
>>2629386
Give up sleep. Who needs focus when you can just reread the whole thing.

Actually I somewhat regret starting it this tired on my phone.
Oh well.
>>
>>2629348
It's because we've never had an actual conversation with her and she's always been on the sidelines?
>>
>>2629399
this, clearly some shits going on with her.
>>
>>2629399
Geez fine, get character development for a minor and mysterious character
>>
>>2629407
Well excuse moi, for wanting to know what the seemingly least crazy wench of the lolipop guild is like.
Gosh gee wilikers batman...
>>
>>2629407
Hello Slippy
>>
File: Harriet.jpg (1.2 MB, 2121x2121)
1.2 MB
1.2 MB JPG
>>2629323
"Hey," a voice says from behind you, "mind if I help with starting the fire?"

"Grab the electric starter from the shed," you say, before realizing that you're talking to a complete stranger.

As she runs off, you wonder whether blowing someone's friend's arms off with a shotgun makes you more or less of an acquaintance.

Judging by what you've seen of supernatural entities, attempted murder seems like saying hello in their world.

"Here," she says, interrupting your reverie by handing you the starter, "this was what you wanted, right?"

"Yeah," you mutter, shoving it into the pile of coals.

"So you're Harriet, right?" you ask, and see your wife wink at you from inside the kitchen window. You're not sure what that means, but you'll take your wife winking at you any day.

"Yeah," she says, leaning against a wall, "and you're Melon's dad. I'm sure you've got a few questions, and my teammates -" she shrugs, then gives you a glance you can't read, "aren't exactly helpful in answering them."

"I kind of felt sorry for you when you ran into us the other night," she says, "but after seeing your wife... Uh, I'm not a lesbian, but damn."

"And if you're with her," she says staring you down, "you've been in our world for a while."

You poke the coals, re-arranging them over the electric lighter. The charcoal smoke encircles the two of you.

>Is attempted murder really just like saying hello for supernatural creatures?
>How'd my daughter get involved with your team's thing?
>I've been in your world for a while? I only found out a few days ago.
>So I blew your friends arms off, and you felt SORRY for me?
>Write in
>>
>>2629439
>>How'd my daughter get involved with your team's thing?
>>
>>2629439
>>I've been in your world for a while? I only found out a few days ago.
>>
>>2629439
>I've been in your world for a while? I only found out a few days ago.
>So I blew your friends arms off, and you felt SORRY for me?

I only found out she was a kitsune recently and I only knew of your world because the this shit got my sister a long time ago. So your reason is more or less accurate
>>
>>2629439
We should probably go with these two in order:
>I've been in your world for a while? I only found out a few days ago.
>Is attempted murder really just like saying hello for supernatural creatures?

Then also agree about the hotness of our wife.
>>
>>2629439
>How'd my daughter get involved with your team's thing?
>>
>>2629439
>Is attempted murder really just like saying hello for supernatural creatures?
>How'd my daughter get involved with your team's thing?

"And please, I just realized that my wife was much sexier than I thought a few days ago. There's a lot of shit that I'm being kept in the dark about."
>>
>>2629439
>I've been in your world for a while? I only found out a few days ago and now magical shit has been coming out of the goddamned walls.
>>
>>2629446
17:23 - 17:33, nobody reads these, Nier:Automata is the great artwork of our time, etc.
>>
>>2629439
>"but after seeing your wife... Uh, I'm not a lesbian, but damn."

Callin' bullshit on that one. Not the wife bit just the not the lesbian part.

Her thirst for pink haired girls transcends universes, timelines, and dimensional barriers.
>>
>>2629439
>>Is attempted murder really just like saying hello for supernatural creatures?
>>
How old is our wife, considering how many tails she has she’s been here for a few centuries
>>
Also, we should probably give our guy a name other then Dad. Personally I vote for Kurt
>>
>>2629469
Hey I can take a non lesbian homura.
>>
>>2629439 #
>>Is attempted murder really just like saying hello for supernatural creatures?
>>
>>2629439
>I've been in your world for a while? I only found out a few days ago.
>Is attempted murder really just like saying hello for supernatural creatures?
>How'd my daughter get involved with your team's thing?
>>
>>2629473
Obviously, the MC's in-laws were overjoyed to marry off a christmas cake.

Find out more, if you vote for the story to go there!
>>
>>2629468
You aren't wrong.

>>Is attempted murder really just like saying hello for supernatural creatures?

> Is one of your questions about your teammate's "what's wrong with them"?

> Honestly your "world" seems to have a lot of avoidable bullshit in it.
>>
>>2629468
I agree
>>
>>2629439
>>Is attempted murder really just like saying hello for supernatural creatures?
>>How'd my daughter get involved with your team's thing?
>>
>>2629476
I like the sound of James myself.

>>2629468
Don't even lie to yourself I actually do try to decipher that shit.
>>
>>2629476
John; John Johns.
>>
>>2629490
John Johns Junior
>>
Counting votes with multiple options sucks. But hey, it's good material!

>How'd my daughter get involved?:
>>2629446
>>2629458
>>2629459
>>2629480
>>2629484

>I only found out I was in your world a few days ago:
>>2629447
>>2629451
>>2629455
>>2629480
>>2629459
>>2629460

>I blew your friend's arms off, and you felt SORRY for me?
>>2629451

>Is attempted murder just saying 'hello' in your world?
>>2629455
>>2629459
>>2629471
>>2629478
>>2629480
>>2629482
>>2629484
>>
>>2629487
>>2629476
I'm fond of the name James for him as well
>>
>>2629481
How many boyfriends did our wife had?

How was our dating experience before we married?
>>
>>2629512
James Solomon?
>>
I don't care if I'm shitposting but our name is
Alabaster Soliloquy
>>
>>2629523
...i'm too tired to get the joke.
>>
>>2629529
QMC from Fuck Quest.
>>
>>2629523
Fuck Quest?
>>2629542
Yeah it's Fuck Quest.
>>
>>2629542
the one from /aco/?
>>
File: Totally Harriet.jpg (421 KB, 2172x2172)
421 KB
421 KB JPG
>>2629439
"So," you ask, "is attempted murder just saying hello in your world?"

"OUR world," she corrects you, with something between a scowl and a smirk, "yeah. Most of us can take it."

Then, before you can even try to stop her, she grabs a burning coal from the grill.

You hear it sizzle her flesh, and smell as it roasts her hand. Before your dad instincts can do anything, she places it back in the fire.

"Like that," she says, "I'll be fine in five minutes or so. Trying to kill someone, showing them what you've got - that's pretty standard. After you've had a fight to what should be death, then you know where you stand."

She gives you a look no teenager should ever have on their face.

"You know whether to kneel," she says, doing a pirouette into a curtsey, "or to fight back with everything you have. Or befriend them."

"I only found out I was in this world a few days ago," you say, not really sure what else there is to say, "but that's not the life I want for my daughter."

"She's contracted," the girl says, staring at you with eyes that hold more worlds than your own, "that's her life. That's your wife's life, and that's your life now."

>She goes back into the house for tea, and [write in] comes out
>I've got a few more questions [write them in]
>I don't want a world that runs like that, and I'm going to change it!
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2629518
Sounds good to me
>>
>>2629518
James Mayfield? James Whitaker?

>>2629546
>I've got a few more questions [write them in]
"How long have you been doing this and what got you into this boat?"
>>
>>2629546
>My wife was out of the game until we found out Marion was in it.
>Doesn't help those contractors seem to target children born of human and er.. youkai, non human? for magical girls.

.So what got you into this mess?
>>
>>2629546
.... i think she needs a hug.
fighting for so long, when was the last time any of these girls had someone hug them and told them it be alright.
>>
>>2629546
>"it's not a life for kids, I can take it but you girls should let the adults do the job."
>>
>>2629552
we need a whiter name. something more bland.
>>
>>2629546
I don't want a world that runs like that, and I'm going to change it!

Ont account at a time
>>
>>2629545
I wouldn't know, but it's on /qst/ now.

>>2629518
You mean the one from Command and Conquer?
>>
>>2629552
17:50 - 18:00, you know the drill

>>2629523
Damn. That was good.

Not exactly where I think this playerbase wants to go, but damn.

2014 was the Year of Quests.
>>
>>2629560
No
WE NEED SOMETHING AMERICAN

Keep in mind one of the first things we did was get the rat to enchant our shotgun shells so we can dispense pellets of freedom at demons in our daughters stead
>>
File: Spoiler Image (91 KB, 545x644)
91 KB
91 KB JPG
>>2629546
>she goes in wife comes out
>>
>>2629572
Jack Thompson?
>>
>>2629560
You can't more whiter than Whitaker since it literally means in one language "white field".
>>
>>2629567
>You mean the one from Command and Conquer?
You got my hopes up if its indeed a reference from CnC.
>>
>>2629568
>Damn. That was good.
>Not exactly where I think this playerbase wants to go, but damn.
>2014 was the Year of Quests.
It came back for a season 2/alternative setting this year.
>>
>>2629578
Maybe...hmmmm
How about Johnathan Jackson
>>
>>2629568
m8 a bunch of decent QM's are coming back from the dead, this year is clearly season 2 of let the good times roll. All things considered this quest is pretty comfy so far, and i like it.
>>
>>2629572
John Smith?

>>2629568
>Not exactly where I think this playerbase wants to go, but damn.
For FUCK QUEST or Fuck Me, My Daughter's a Magical Girl! Quest?
>>2629583
>>2629567
Yep, it's on >>2615934
>>
>>2629572
Whatever his last name's gonna be, I want his first name to be James.
>>
Or John Smith
>>
>>2629591
THAT'S FUCKIN PERFECT
>>
>>2629606
Meh, it's less generic than John Doe.
>>
Joe Winchester
>>
>>2629603
>>2629606
>>2629617
If we go with John Smith we should call up our brother or cousin to go bowling, Bob Smith.
>>
>>2629634
Smitty Wesson
>>
Bob Ross
>>
>>2629556
>>2629552
>>2629557
+1
>>
>James Armstrong
Top this anons
>>
>>2629546
> Jesus christ please don't do that, it's bad for my heart.

> Besides just because it'll be fine later doesn't mean it's fine NOW. Goddamn. What even is the point if kids like you have to suffer like that.

> You don't get to hurt yourselves for me from now on, okay? Unless, like, I'm about to actually die. I won't pretend that I can keep you from getting hurt, or that there isn'tsome worth I your sacrifice. It's never going to be convenient for you to do that though. We'll do things the "hard" way if we have to in order to prevent that. Even if that means talking before hitting and compromise and other things you seem to not know about.

> You burned your hand and it healed, but watching g that burned my heart and whe I think of Melon and you girls going through that . . . I don't know if that CAN heal.

> Got a real strong urge to bbq a rat though.
>>
File: Definitely Harriet.png (1.17 MB, 1200x773)
1.17 MB
1.17 MB PNG
>>2629546
"That's not a life for kids," you tell her, watching the coals.

"And my wife's been out of the game as long as she's been with me," you say, still watching the coals as the fire grows, "she only got back in when we found our daughter was a magical girl."

"So what got you into this mess?" you ask, suddenly pinning her with your glance, "How long have you been doing it?"

It's like a shutter slams down behind her eyes.

You're looking into steel, camouflaged behind the eyes of a young girl.

"I had my reasons," she tells you, each word coming out of a cute little mouth below large eyes that speak volumes about what she's been through.

It seems like lifetimes. Lifetimes of suffering, lifetimes of failure, and lifetimes of hoping for success.

This is someone who's been forged for years, each lifetime a hammerblow.

"For how long?" you ask, spreading out the hot coals for grilling.

She looks at you with eyes you can't understand, then mutters "thirty years..."

You're pretty sure that anything you could say would set her off, and she runs toward the house.

It's an absolute coincidence that you have to go in to get the steaks.

Not some sort of higher-plane dad powers.

>Hug her
>Go in with her and get the steaks
>Write in
>>
>>2629572
James goes by Jim, Smithson
>>
>>2629667
>>2629674
It's better than John Smith that's for certain.

>>2629671
>Go in with her and get the steaks

The next time we have a private hangout with Harriet we're hugging the shit out of her.
>>
>>2629671
>Write in

> Did she know our sister, Jill Smithson (or whatever)?
>>
>>2629671
>>Go in with her and get the steaks

>>2629676
>The next time we have a private hangout with Harriet we're hugging the shit out of her.
lets not. the wife will get jealous.
>>
>>2629677
Jill Valentine would be awesome
>>
>>2629671
>Did you know my sister?
>>
>>2629671
>>Go in with her and get the steaks
>>
>>2629671
>Hug her
>Write-In
>For what is worth you still hold it on. And i applaud your will and determination
>Shall we grill those steaks *smirking dad intensfies*

>tfw this not!homura searches for his beloved dad which is us
>>
>>2629671
>Did you know my sister?

Also, OP, have you archived these two threads?
>>
File: maxresdefault.jpg (125 KB, 1280x720)
125 KB
125 KB JPG
>>2629676
Also has a family tradition of hand-casting ammo, as the name implies. He was the first one to leave working with his hands behind for working with his mind as a career but the Smithsons have always made a habit of doing both.

Old Farmer mechanical ingenuity making red neck repairs instead of paying someone or buying new.

We might not have the workshop we grew up with, or the precision skills our Dad used back home, but if the women don't find us handsome they'll still find us handy.
>>
>>2629671
>>Go in with her and get the steaks
>>Write in
Just a headpat. Or a shoulder pat at the very least
>>
>>2629676
18:20 - 18:30, you know the drill

>>2629591
>For FUCK QUEST or Fuck Me, My Daughter's a Magical Girl! Quest?
For FMMDAMGQ (god, that's a terrible acronym). People seem more interested in being a dad than getting as much pussy as possible.

That seems good to me, so, as long as it's the direction we collectively want to go, we're going in a different direction than Fuck Quest.

...Although I'm tickled to death that I'm running a quest on a blue board with 'Fuck' as the first word in its title.

Particularly considering my previous bans on /tg/.
>>
>>2629671
>>Go in with her and get the steaks
She's been doing this for thirty years.
She was probably around our daughter's age when she started.
So... mid-to-late 40s, and she spends all her time hanging around with (apparant) teenagers? That seem weird to anyone else? Especially when one is our daughter, who only got into this because her friends were doing it?
>>
>>2629688
Someone put the first one on suptg. I linked it at the start of this one.

I trust that if they're worthy of being archived, it'll happen.
>>
>>2629671
>>Hug her
>Go in with her and get the steaks
Hug her with steaks.

>>2629692
>...Although I'm tickled to death that I'm running a quest on a blue board with 'Fuck' as the first word in its title.
>Particularly considering my previous bans on /tg/.
Don't tempt fate. What'd you get banned for?
>>
>>2629679
>lets not. the wife will get jealous.
Oh please, I'm pretty sure she already has had a ear on our convo. And we're more than certainly planning on making another baby with our wife in the near future.
>>2629692
>People seem more interested in being a dad than getting as much pussy as possible.
That's because we already got best waifu. And a daughter to take care of.
>>
>>2629671
>Hug her
>Did you know my sister?
>>
>>2629671
The "did you know my sister" should be quiet and understated with a hint of pleading.

Then we can tell her that after losing our sister, we can't lose our daughter too.

And that our daughters friends, well, if we can help save them somehow from being so used to pain that they pick up hot coals because it's easier to show than tell, then maybe we can do some of the saving for them we couldn't do for our sister as well.

Also mention that we kind of let a Demon go, how bad is that, we aren't sure what kind but it seemed real subservient and it didn't sit right to kill someone that was surrendering.
>>
>>2629701
>What'd you get banned for?
NTR Revenge Quest
>>
>>2629692
>People seem more interested in being a dad than getting as much pussy as possible.
Well, we're already married with a daughter and our other options is a blue yandere, a pink dictator, a red head who we don't know, a raven haired time traveler/asian who never aged past puberty, and demon who fucked off somewhere

And they have to compete with a golden buxom kitsune who is already married to the MC. Not really a contest. But we can at least be the best team dad.
>>
>>2629717
oh yeah i remember that, lol
wasn't that around when mods started cracking down on basically every fetish they didn't like? ( i think maledom was on the list)
>>
>>2629728
Asian time traveler is interesting but unless hotnkitsune wife is getting particularly spicy then no dice
>>
File: I'm a dad.jpg (436 KB, 645x911)
436 KB
436 KB JPG
>>2629671
You trot up alongside her, heading in to get the steaks for the grill.

"Thirty consecutive?" you ask, wondering if she knew your sister, "did you know -"

"Looping," she says, shooting you a stabbing look, "this same year. Thirty times. Because," she tells you, taking a breath, "because the world dies every time."

"And this is the first loop I've ever met you," she says, almost breathlessly, "so maybe you can break it. It's worth a shot before I repeat it again."

This is happening way too fast. Someone's pitching a 'chosen one' speech at you?

And you only found out about their world a few days ago?

>I'm not Harry Potter, kid
>hug her
>continue inside to grab steaks
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2629743
>>hug her
>>
>>2629743
>>hug her
"I can't be sure we will save the world, but i'm not gunna let a buncha kids die on my watch."
>>
>>2629743
>Headpat her.

I’ll do my best kid, just don’t get your hopes too high
>>
>>2629743
>Hug her
>I'm not Harry Potter kid, but I'll be damned if you have to go through this again.

We're more Ash Williams anyway.
>>
>>2629743
>I'm going to need more shotgun shells for this.
>...Fuck that, i'm going to need a bigger gun.
>>
>>2629743
>>hug her
>I'm not Harry Potter, kid
"You really shouldn't place all your eggs in one basket no matter how alluring it might be."
>>
>>2629743
>Hug her
>Offer her a mixed drink. She’s 40 some odd years old she’s old enough to have one. Only one because tiny but one.
>>
>>2629748
18:44 - 18:54, you know this drill.

>>2629736
It was fun times.

>>2629709
>we already got best waifu.
I should have made you earn her.
>>
>>2629754
We need more bitches and hoes to be ash Williams
>>
>>2629743
>>I'm not Harry Potter, kid
>Headpat her
>I can try, but not until I know how the world goes tits up.

>>2629741
We can still be her father figure despite her having 10 or so years on us.
>>
>>2629743
> headpats

Well there's always next year, so we good.

DESU time travel is my least favourite thing ever. I'm not even a huge fan of going forward in it.

So let's make this year count.
>>
>>2629345
I think we get enough crazy with our horny fox-wife. I doubt our dink can even get hard for anything that doesn't have delicious fluffy tails. Whether we were conscious of them or not doesn't matter, the mere act of possessing fluffy-tails hidden or not makes a girl 1000% sexier. Its why Adult Kon from Tokyo Raven is best girl, I mean I just wanna pet dem tails, would take me hours to get past the urge to play with the tails to actually get down to doing the dirty.
>>
>>2629758
>I should have made you earn her.
Nah then everyone would have gone full retard and it turns into VMQ2 all over again.
You don't want that shit no matter how hard you convince yourself.
>>
>>2629743
>I'm not Harry Potter, kid
We're no protagonist, even if I could probably pull it off with my devilishly good looks. We're just a concerned parent.
>>
>>2629591
Honestly, I keep accidentally reading the title of this quest as "Fuck my daughter quest".
>>
>>2629758
Too late
>>
>>2629743

>I'm not Harry Potter, kid
But i do got dat magic stick
>>
>>2629763
I don't know why you thought we would have a choice in that yandere scenario.
>>
>>2629743
Fuck, we in madoka now, whelp time to make our alliance of mages and shieet to take some heug fucker down.
>>
Any you of kids know about the dark magical girl quest?
The mc is pretty much guts but as a magical girl
>>
>>2629759
He kinda only had the one, who he killed. After that it was more one night stands than anything.
>>
>>2629804
Never underestimate the power of fluffy-tails. They can transcend time and space. Some minor voodoo wont do shit against the allure of the fluffiest of tails. If Harriet somehow voodooed us into think she was our daughter and that we were an incestuous rape machine, I am pretty sure Wifey would just rap us up in fluffy tails whenever we tried to escape. You SERIOUSLY underestimate a Kitsunes libido. Those girls are the DEFINITION of THIRSTY. If you are even capable of conceptualizing a boner, they will jill themselves off to your psychological erection. They have been known, and in fact are renowned for literally fucking men to death. So no, I don't think we had a choice. I just don't think Harriet ever stood a fucking chance, and neither does Sue.
>>
>>2629743
You suddenly hug the girl.

If she's been hanging out with those nutjobs for thirty years, that's probably what she needs.

She stiffens in your arms, unwilling to accept your dadly affection.

"I'm not Harry Potter, kid," you say, "I'm just a dad. A dad who needs a bigger gun if he's going to stave off the end of the world."

"And I've got a daughter who's probably going to be right there when it happens," you sigh, "no matter what I say. If there's anything I can do to make things work out, I will. But don't put all your eggs in one basket."

"I'm no superhero," you say, patting her on the head, "but I'll be damned if you have to do this one more time."

"Yeah," she says, looking up at you, "you, and everyone else."

This kid's got a gift for terribly dramatic delivery, doesn't she?

And she never let herself soften into your embrace. Up until you release her, she's still ramrod straight.

"I'll see what I can do," you say, striding toward the door to get the steaks.

As you open it, the scent of teat hits you like a fist. You know your wife loves it, but she's never made this much before - that you know of.

Each of those tails is a hundred years, isn't it? You wonder why she's even bothering with you after everything, and everyone she's doubtless experienced.

That's something to ask about later. In bed.

"Alright," say, in as jolly a tone as you can after that little confidence, "steaks are going on the grill now!"

>Blue Hearts / Sue comes out with you to help deal with your meat
>The redhead / Karen come out to help put the steaks on
>That chick with pink hair / Mary comes out to help put them on
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2629828
Sad thing is you are nto wrong. Kitsune are the definition of hedonistic, they want it they get it, only waiting for bigger pay off.

That said if one is monogamous they are monogamous for life, and will stay that way until death, typically millennia after their mortal mates die.
>>
>>2629835
>the scent of teat
Lewd. The only people who get Mommy's milies is us. And any children of ours below the age of 1.
>>
>>2629835
>>2629838
Should have been "scent of tea" there. Just so we're clear.
>>
>>2629835
>>That chick with pink hair / Mary comes out to help put them on
>>
>>2629835
>>The redhead / Karen come out to help put the steaks on
>>
>>2629835
>That chick with pink hair / Mary comes out to help put them on
>>
>>2629835
>Blue Hearts / Sue comes out with you to help deal with your meat
hehehe
>>
>>2629835
>>The redhead / Karen come out to help put the steaks on
Let's get expand the the side characters as Bluey continues to get blue clammed.
>>
>>2629835
>The redhead / Karen come out to help put the steaks on
>>
>>2629840
19:22 - 19:32, you know how this goes.

I'M NOT A ROBOT, 4CHAN, I SWEAR!
>>
>>2629835
>The redhead / Karen come out to help put the steaks on
>>
>>2629835
>>That chick with pink hair / Mary comes out to help put them on
>>
>>2629835
>The redhead / Karen come out to help put the
>>
>>2629852
your the robot
>>
>>2629835
>Blue Hearts / Sue comes out with you to help deal with your meat
>>
>>2629835
>The redhead / Karen come out to help put the steaks on
>>
>>2629856
suck my steel cock, fleshbag
>>
>>2629835
>That chick with pink hair / Mary comes out to help put them on
>>
>>2629835
>>The redhead / Karen come out to help put the steaks on
>>
>>2629835
>>The redhead / Karen come out to help put the steaks on
>>
>>2629835
>Blue Hearts / Sue comes out with you to help deal with your meat
I demand more of this homewrecking slot!
>>
>>2629835
>Blue Hearts / Sue comes out with you to help deal with your meat
>Sue:C-can i be your daddy?
>*sad puppy eyes*
>Suddenly Marion burst out from our back door and tackle hug us protectively
>THAT IS MY DAD SUE GET YOUR OWN!!

is a running gag between the two
>>
>>2629835
backing this >>2629877
>>
>>2629840
I done fucked up. That post was 19:12. Voting should end 19:22.

This is what not being a robot means.

So I'm taking everything I see by the time I make this post:

Pink:
>>2629840
>>2629844
>>2629854
>>2629864


Red:
>>2629842
>>2629847
>>2629850
>>2629855
>>2629861
>>2629865
>>2629868

Blue:
>>2629845
>>2629859
>>2629875
>>2629877
>>2629882
>>
>>2629877
I have a feeling, that like most girls with daddy issues. Sue really does need a loving father figure that does not sexualize them. They need male affection from a source that doesn't want to stick it in them. I knew a girl who had a dad that liked to drink, to the point were his friends would come over and the girls would choose to go sleep outside on the trampoline. Pretty obvious why, so yeah Sue probably needs some hardcore headpats and snuggles. Girls her age to try to use sex to get affection from guys unless they are seriously starved for it. So lets give the poor thing some hugs.
>>
>>2629891
>Dont try to use sex
>>
File: They say this is Karen.jpg (435 KB, 1434x2048)
435 KB
435 KB JPG
>>2629835
There's an odd tension in the group drinking tea.

It's almost guilty? And your wife is as much a part of it as any of the girls with pastel hair colors.

The blue-haired psycho looks positively dejected, not just guilty. And the redhead is grinning.

They all seem to be hiding little scraps of paper. Must be 'girl stuff', you think as you grab the seasoned steaks off the counter.

As you open the door to go back out to the grill, the redhead breaks off from the group to come with you, and your wife gives you a V E R Y surreptitious thumbs up.

...her tails are waving. Definitely just girl stuff. At least this time, they aren't destroying the house.

And then you're slamming the meat onto the grill, where it sizzles happily, while the redhead watches you with a hungry look.

She's just looking at the steaks, not you.

Once you've arranged the steaks, you take a step back. They'll need a few minutes to sear, then they'll need to flip.

"So," the redhead says, "want to fight?"

>Oh, fuck no
>Attempted Murder really IS how you folks say "hi" isn't it?
>Bring it, little lady
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2629907
>Attempted Murder really IS how you folks say "hi" isn't it?
>Bring it, little lady
>GROUND RULES
>>
>>2629907
>Child. I will spank your ass after I cook. You do not get in the way of a man and his grill
>>
>>2629907
>The blue-haired psycho looks positively dejected, not just guilty. And the redhead is grinning.
>They all seem to be hiding little scraps of paper.
Taking lots, eh?

>>2629907
>Attempted Murder really IS how you folks say "hi" isn't it?
>Child. I will spank your ass after I cook. You do not get in the way of a man and his grill
>>
>>2629907
>Attempted Murder really IS how you folks say "hi" isn't it?
>Child. I will spank your ass after I cook. You do not get in the way of a man and his grill
>>
>>2629910
19:43 - 19:53, you know the drill.

>>2629891
>really does need a loving father figure that does not sexualize them

That's most magical girls, isn't it?
>>
>>2629911
This man....this is a true american ritual, a sacred one. A man and a grill.
>>
>>2629907
>>Child. I will spank your ass after I cook. You do not get in the way of a man and his grill
>Because a perfect steak demands attention and care.
>>
>>2629907
>Oh, fuck no

If we win we beat up a teenage girl.

If we lose we don't have healing powers.

Just . . . Why. Don't they play any sports or anything.
>>
>>2629907
>Attempted Murder really IS how you folks say "hi" isn't it?
>Child. I will spank your ass after I cook. You do not get in the way of a man and his grill

Although a food first attitude runs the risk of making her as horny as Blue, it's still the right answer.
>>
>>2629911
seconding
>>
>>2629907
>Child. I will spank your ass after I cook. You do not get in the way of a man and his grill
>>
>>2629907
>>>Child. I will spank your ass after I cook. You do not get in the way of a man and his grill
>>Because a perfect steak demands attention and care.

CHILD YOU DO NOT GET BETWEEN A MAN AND HIS COOKING!
>>
>>2629907
>Attempted Murder really IS how you folks say "hi" isn't it?
>Child. I will spank your ass after I cook. You do not get in the way of a man and his grill
>>
>>2629907
>Attempted Murder really IS how you folks say "hi" isn't it?
>Child. I will spank your ass after I cook. You do not get in the way of a man and his grill
>>
>>2629907
>>Attempted Murder really IS how you folks say "hi" isn't it?
>>Child. I will spank your ass after I cook. You do not get in the way of a man and his grill
>>
>>2629907
>>2629911
This.
>>
>>2629921
But this is their sport.
>>
>>2629911
Supporting
>>
>>2629917
I feel like that's most girls.
>>
>>2629907
>Write in: I also want to interject a fatherly hug if it seems appropriate. Even just a side hug. If we must become team dad then so be it!These magical girls need a father goddamnit!
>>
>>2629907
>>Bring it, little lady
get her into a hug hold
>>
>>2629911
...this
>>
>>2629911
>>
>>2629907
>>>Attempted Murder really IS how you folks say "hi" isn't it?
>>>Child. I will spank your ass after I cook. You do not get in the way of a man and his grill
>>
File: Karen.jpg (3.34 MB, 3500x3500)
3.34 MB
3.34 MB JPG
>>2629907
You can feel the desire to fight you coming off of her in waves. It's almost bleeding into the air.

She just wants to fight you. There's no malice in it, no desire to see your corpse on the ground, just a desire to fight.

But you've got a conflicting desire. The desire near to the core of every dad, no every man's being - the desire to grill.

You are going to serve good steaks to the ladies inside. You are the coal steel, you are the just sear, with tongs in hand you will grill the sins of the world!

"Child," you tell her, the sizzling meat underscoring your words, "I will spank your ass after I cook. But if there's one thing you learn tonight," you say, staring at her through the charcoal smoke, "learn that you do not get between a man and his grill."

"Alright," she says, smiling at you, "does talking get between man and grill?"

"No, kid," you say, "Attempted murder really is how you folks say hello, isn't it?" you ask the underage girl who wants to have a shot at you more than any tough in a bar ever has.

"Kinda!" she says, "it's how we do it. You get some respect from being willing to throw down and back it up, even if you can't win. Bit of a constant with most supernatural stuff."

>So how did you get into this jazz?
>So why do you want to fight me?
>So could you stop radiating murder for a minute?
>WRITE IN CONVERSATION TOPICS
>>
>>2629966
>>So how did you get into this jazz?
>>
>>2629966
>So how did you get into this jazz?
Also ask if there's an alternative for starting a conversation other than two lock stock and soon to be smoking barrels.
>>
>>2629972
20:13 - 20:23 voting period, you know the drill.

Also, we broke a thousand posts, go us.
>>
>>2629966
>>So how did you get into this jazz?
>>
>>2629966
>So how did you get into this jazz?
>So could you stop radiating murder for a minute?
>>
>>2629966
>>So how did you get into this jazz?
Time to know her origin story!
>>
>>2629966

>So how did you get into this jazz?
>>
>>2629966
>So how did you get into this jazz?
>>
>>2629966
>>So how did you get into this jazz?
>>
File: Totally Karen.jpg (3.3 MB, 3966x3966)
3.3 MB
3.3 MB JPG
>>2629966
"So how'd you get into this jazz?" you ask, starting to flip the steaks. You hope it's not another crazy story, or just a 'my friends were in danger'.

"Well," she says, "everyone's got a hobby, right? And this is mine."

If you'd been drinking, you would have spit your drink out.

This is a hobby for her? Going around trying to fight supernatural stuff?

"So," you say, a little off-balance, "like a sports club? You think this is a sport? Killing demons is like soccer?"

"More like mixed martial arts," she says, flashing a grin, "but yeah. Something like that. Just," she says, getting a faraway look in her eyes, "like a challenge."

"Isn't life enough of a challenge?" you ask her, watching the grill, "why get into this unless you were dragged?"

"I'll tell you if you fight me!" she says, smiling, "that's how people get to know each other in this world, after all."

"Seems that way," you say, rather unconvinced, and go back to tending the grill. The steaks are almost done, if people like them rare.

"You blew Sue's arms off, and she's head-over-heels for you!" the little redhead says suddenly, "that's just how this world works!"

>That's just how Sue works, and she's a psycho
>Why don't you go in and ask how 'done' people like their steaks? [WRITE IN who would come out instead]
>Serve the steaks, fight the redhead, all in a day's work
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2630033
>That's just how Sue works, and she's a psycho
Theres a difference between being a soldier and being a psycho.
>>
>>2630033
>That's just how Sue works, and she's a psycho
"And right now I really don't want to think about the fact that I turn people on when I blow their limbs off. Because that is a thing that should never happen."
>>
>>2630033
>That's just how Sue works, and she's a psycho.
The world only works that way if you let it.
>>
>>2630038
20:42 - 20:52, etc. etc.
>>
>>2630033
>That's just how Sue works, and she's a psycho
>>
>>2630033
>That's just how Sue works, and she's a psycho.

>I legitimately think she either has a chemical imbalance in her brain, or comes from a really bad home life.
>>
>>2630033
>That's just how Sue works, and she's a psycho
> I didn't need to fight to marry my wife and that was much harder to pull off than fighting the last two demons.
>>
>>2630033
>That's just how Sue works, and she's a psycho
>>
>>2630033
>That's just how Sue works, and she's a psycho
>Make the steak *Daddy special*
>>
>>2630033
>>That's just how Sue works, and she's a psycho
>>
>>2630050
Seconding. Let's make the demons sound like no big deal and add a dose of realism into this weird-as-fuck conversation in one fell swoop.
>>
>>2630033
>That's just how Sue works, and she's a psycho
Make sure we set this girl straight that her crush is a PROBLEM. Followed by:
>Serve the steaks, fight the redhead, all in a day's work
Wife is part canine and these girls need the all the rare meat they can get in their mouths apparently.
>>
>>2630033
>That's just how Sue works, and she's a psycho
>Serve the steaks, fight the redhead, all in a day's work
>>
>>2630033
> . . . . Just checking, but you're supposed to be the Good Guys, right? Not just meal set B yo the demons A?

> I mean I'm glad you found something that fulfils you, but it seems like the other girls are pretty damaged by all this. Seems lonely.
>>
>>2630033
> Serve the steaks well done slathered in ketchup.

Show her there's more than one way to hurt someone.
>>
>>2630075
Woooooaaah bro I think that’s a bit much that’s like Hitler level
>>
>>2630081
We will even cook our own well done to prevent them challenging us for it.
>>
>>2630088
I like the way you think.
>>
>>2630033
>>That's just how Sue works, and she's a psycho
Just tabbed back in after 15 minutes to find the post window still open and unsubmitted. I am dumb.
>>
>>2630092
We all go down together.

> Not like that

Besides our Wife deserves some punishment too for encouraging this sort of thing.

And it's a reminder that fighting fair is fine and dandy until some asshole burns your steak and then all the punching in the world won't un-cook it.

Finally we invited them in and they were still total dildos. They wanted to fight with us, fine, but it'll be on our terms.
>>
File: Definitely Karen.jpg (1.14 MB, 1181x1748)
1.14 MB
1.14 MB JPG
>>2630033
"That's just how Sue works," you say, "and she's a psycho. There's a difference between being a soldier, and being nuts."

"And being a thrillseeker," you finish, looking straight into her eyes. Innocent eyes. Pure eyes.

She actually thinks this is just a game.

"I didn't need to fight to marry my wife," you say, giving one steak an experimental jab - your wife likes them rare, the way steaks should be, "and that was a lot harder to pull off than fighting the last two demons. And your teammate."

"Mmhmm," she says, smirking, "and do you want to back those words up with your fists before or after dinner?"

This is insane.

You're pretty sure Blue's got a chemical imbalance in her brain (and probably a terrible home life), Black's either delusional or has been trying to avert an apocalypse for thirty years - failing every time, Pink is something, 'human' is one of the last words you'd call her, after looking into those eyes, and now this 'Karen' chick is just a thrillseeker?

Who HAS your daughter been hanging out with?

You're definitely going to have to have a talk with her about her friends.

Then again - maybe their world does work this way. That demon that called you 'master', the fact that your wife and daughter had to fight to settle things out. Maybe this is how their world works.

[FIRST OPTION SET]
>That's not the way a world should work
>If those are the rules, you'll play by them

The steaks are as done as you'll ever let them be, on your pride as a father and a man. They're perfect, and you heap them on a platter and head inside.

If someone wants theirs more done than this, there's the microwave.

"After," you tell the redhead, "when you've had a chance to think better of it."

When you step inside the door, there's a rush of energy. Seems like they've been busy preparing sides, and every plate is heaped with mashed potatoes, asparagus, etc., only waiting for 'daddy's special steak' to complete them.

So you sit down to dinner.

With your wife, your daughter, and her magical girl friends with those pastel hair colors.

...somehow, Blue (Sue?) is sitting next to you, and a little too close.

[SECOND OPTION SET]
>So who else wants to get in line to fight me?
>How's school?
>Does anybody know a guy named "T.T."?
>Could you scoot over, please?
>WRITE IN conversation topic
>>
>>2630123
>That's not the way a world should work
>Does anybody know a guy named "T.T."?
>>
>>2630123
>>That's not the way a world should work
>Does anybody know a guy named "T.T."?
>Could you scoot over, please?
>>
>>2630123
>That's not the way a world should work
>Does anybody know a guy named "T.T."?
>Could you scoot over, please?
No I don't care that I'm picking two from the second option set, I feel like asking someone to move over a bit is like a minor action in the land of talking.
>>
>>2630124
21:14 - 21:24, you know the drill.

>>2630075
>>2630081
>>2630088
>>2630092
>>2630107
I'm just glad you guys came in with that idea after voting closed.

Which one of you is hundred-year-old Hitler posting from Argentina?

...But it would have been hilarious.
>>
>>2630123
>If those are the rules, you'll play by them
For now anyway. We don't know enough yet to see how those rules can be broken.
>Does anybody know a guy named "T.T."?
>>
>>2630123
>That's not the way a world should work
>Does anybody know a guy named "T.T."?
>>
>>2630129
>That's not the way a world should work
>Does anybody know a guy named "T.T."?
>Could you scoot over, please?
>>
>>2630123
>That's not the way a world should work
Show them our way can work.
Can these people play like, chess or something?
>Does anybody know a guy named "T.T."?
>>
>>2630123
>>That's not the way a world should work
>Does anybody know a guy named "T.T."?
>Could you scoot over, please?
>>
>>2630123
Oh sure call me out for cruelty but then present this as an option

> If someone wants theirs more done than this, there's the microwave.

I hope Pink actually does this just drive home that there is something missing in her soul.

But yeah someone died so instead of sleeping I started drinking and I'm feeling kind of mean.
>>
>>2630123
>WRITE IN conversation topic

"So what do yalls parents think of this?"

Let's make shit uncomfortable right away.
>>
>>2630129
I just want to know what our wife's reaction would have been.
>>
>>2630126
This, but I very much want
>>2630150
this too.
>>
>>2630129 #
>That's not the way a world should work
>>
>>2630123
That's not the way a world should work

>How's school?
>>
>>2630123
>>That's not the way a world should work
>>Does anybody know a guy named "T.T."?
>>
>>2630123
>>That's not the way a world should work

>Does anybody know a guy named "T.T."?
>Could you scoot over, please?
away from me, specifically.
>>
>>2630214
Oh god that add-on just made me realize that she's going to misinterpret what we mean.
>>
>>2630123
That's not the way a world should work.

You look around the table, at the people that claim that's how things work.

The people that have absorbed that dogma of that world. The people who have grown up in it. The people who chose it for themselves.

Jesus Christ, they're young enough to be your daughter! And one of them is!

And then, there's the person who walked out of it into your life. You have GOT to meet your in-laws sometime.

Right now, they're all chowing down, like they were starving, and this was their last meal on death's row.

Even the smell of drying paint doesn't quell their appetites.

"So do any of you," you say, breaking the comfortable silence of chow, "know a guy named T.T.?"

Their heads snap around toward you.

Pink (Mary?) and black (Harriet?) have cautious expressions on their faces. Red (Karen?) is just grinning, and licks her lips. Your daughter, little Melon, looks worried at the name.

Blue's (Sue's?) expression is just lust, and she's awfully close to you.

Really too close.

And your wife looks concerned. But she winks at you, almost imperceptibly fast, as if to say 'if I say something, they won't talk'.

"How'd you run into him?" Mary asks, eyelids drooping into a mask, "he shouldn't be on our turf."

Turf? In a world where people fight just to get respect?

This is beginning to sound a little too much like your daughter's in a gang. There's probably a chapter in the Parent's Handbook on that.

"Eastern Europe," you say, "we fought a demon together."

"He doesn't fight them right!" Sue says from next to you - you can feel the warmth of her face, "uses circles and seals to restrain them! Not a good fight at all."

"Then that's fine," Mary says, relaxing, and Harriet follows her lead, "although Freebles wouldn't have taken you there if it wasn't a big one. So what class was it?"

>I'm sorry, you said "turf"? Are you rival gang leaders or something? (Ask Pink/Mary)
>Are you guys competing on demon kills or something? (Ask the table at large)
>So why's his way worse than yours? (Ask Blue/Sue)
>Could you PLEASE move over? (Ask Blue/Sue)
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2630228
>>I'm sorry, you said "turf"? Are you rival gang leaders or something?
>>
>>2630234
21:47 - 22:57 voting period.
>>
>>2630228
>Sue, personal space, please get out of mine.
>It was big, Russian Apartment block set to summon the things. He restrained it I shot it, it died. Six wings.
>I'm sorry, you said "turf"? Are you rival gang leaders or something? (Ask Pink/Mary)
>what do you parents think about you being magical gangsters?
>>
>>2630228
>Sue, personal space, please get out of mine.
>It was big, Russian Apartment block set to summon the things. He restrained it I shot it, it died. Six wings.
>I'm sorry, you said "turf"? Are you rival gang leaders or something? (Ask Pink/Mary)
>what do you parents think about you being magical gangsters?

Just all of this.
>>
>>2630228
>Are you guys competing on demon kills or something? (Ask the table at large)
>So why's his way worse than yours? (Ask Blue/Sue)
>>
>>2630238
Supporting this write in.
>>
>>2630228
>Class?
"You know I didn't have time to ask but I'm going to assume it was Upper Middle Class, a real 6 winged go-getter"
>>
>>2630238
JUST DAMN... >:V my support, you
>>
>>2630228
>I'm sorry, you said "turf"? Are you rival gang leaders or something? (Ask Pink/Mary)
>>
>>2630228 #
>Are you guys competing on demon kills or something? (Ask the table at large)
>So why's his way worse than yours? (Ask Blue/Sue)
>>
>>2630228
>>2630238

Supporting this one
>>
>>2630228
>What class was it
How do you consider a demon that is 15 storey large with half a mile wings in the middle of a rows of apartment complex that surrounds the area. And oh I just shot the demon in the kneecaps and he just wailed and dropped dead.
>>
>>2630246
>>2630254
Gotta link to haikus post too when supporting write ins
>>
>>2630228
>>2630238
>>2630242
these
>>
>>2630268
>>2630228

This.

Like.

We're really skeptical that they're actually that much of a problem, or that there's a "wrong way" to get rid of them.

Honestly they should be doing something actually productive with their lives. Or at least something more challenging.

> Freebles forever regrets enchanting those shotgun shells.
>>
>>2630238
>>2630228
>>2630269
my bad.

>Sue, personal space, please get out of mine.
>It was big, Russian Apartment block set to summon the things. He restrained it I shot it, it died. Six wings.
>I'm sorry, you said "turf"? Are you rival gang leaders or something? (Ask Pink/Mary)
>what do you parents think about you being magical gangsters?
>>
>>2630242
And this too

>>2630228
>>
>>2630222

>I'm sorry, you said "turf"? Are you rival gang leaders or something? (Ask Pink/Mary)
>>
>>2630238
supporting this mans work
>>
>>2630274
Seriously. Have they ever tried to figure out the how or why demons even show up? They've spent all this time fighting symptoms and haven't bothered to look for actual sickness.
>>
>>2630228
>>2630238
This. It's wonderful.
>>
>>2630242
>>2630242

This works.
>>
Our wife seems to have a twitch in her eye, I hope this isn't something bad.
>>
How can we get the rat to give us more magic items?
>>
File: Totally the wife.png (2.39 MB, 2665x2453)
2.39 MB
2.39 MB PNG
>>2630228
"Sue," you say, gathering all your dadliness into your voice, "there's this thing called personal space, and you're treating mine like Nazi Germany treated Poland's. Please stop the Anschluss and get out."

She pouts at you, then you feel an awful pressure.

Larger than you felt off of her or most of her teammates.

Larger than any demon you've seen - although T.T. did have that big one in a circle.

Your head turns along with hers, and you see your wife. Her tails are hovering around her, you think there seven or so.

"I'll honor my treaties better than England," she says, and you hear it, but really the only thing that processes is the overwhelming sense of "MINE - PAWS OFF" she gives out.

Then another voice slices through the air, icy, but imbued with almost as much power: "don't fucking do it, Sue."

It's Mary, and you notice that the blue-haired girl was prepared to jump at your wife. She fights off the urge, and slinks a couple feet away from you.

That was... interesting.

What sort of leagues are you playing in here, anyway?

"To answer your question," you say, fighting against the roiling pressure in the room every time you open your mouth, "I didn't have time to get a feel for its class, but I'd assume upper-middle? It wasn't wearing a suit or driving a Ferrari, so not much higher."

The joke breaks the tension, and you continue, "six wings, and fifteen stories if it was an inch. Real go-getter. Shot it in the kneecaps and T.T. finished the job."

"So we're talking S-class," Mary says, gold eyes staring you down, and then flicking off to fix Sue in the middle of an attempt to sidle toward you, "I wouldn't have thought T.T. would take on one of those by himself. He must be desperate or something."

Desperate? Any father would be desperate to get his daughter out of a world like this, and he said he was trying to break a rat's contract with his daughter.

"Harriet," Mary continues, "make a note that T.T. has absorbed an S-class, so he might be making a move on our turf soon. That's a lot of power."

There's that word again, you note, as Harriet dutifully pulls out a notepad and starts writing.

"I'm sorry," you say, "but 'turf'? Are you rival gang leaders or something?"

"Or something," she says, gold eyes burning at you like searchlights, "we don't exactly charge protection money, and the things we deal with do a lot more than smash stores. Some people would be polite enough to call us 'heroes of justice'."

>And what do your parents think of this?
>'Heroes of Justice', really?
>Hold up, you said he "absorbed" it?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2630347
>>Hold up, you said he "absorbed" it?
well, he DID say something along those lines, but we thought he was being metaphorical.
>>
>>2630347
>>'Heroes of Justice', really?
>>
>>2630347
>7 tails
jesus fuck our wife is probably hilariously powerful. anyways:
>And what do your parents think of this?
>'Heroes of Justice', really?
>>
>>2630347
>WRITE IN
>'Heroes of Justice', really?
>"Fair though. I have yet to let you get a word in philosophy wise."
>"Gimme your best shot."
>Eat steak.
>>
>>2630352
22:24 - 22:34 voting period

Also, I didn't get to the last option in that write in - nearly hit the character limit as it was.
>>
>>2630347
>'Heroes of Justice', really? Ok Miss hero, where are the demons coming from? How do they get here? Why haven't you found a way to either hit them where they live or stop them from getting here altogether? You might have cared about other people at some point but by now you're just in it for a fight and some glory. What do your parents think of all this?
>>
>>2630347
Why do you not see eye to eye? You're both fighting against the same general evil right?

Do we actually know what the demons want/where they're coming from?
>>
>>2630347
>>And what do your parents think of this?
>Hold up, you said he "absorbed" it?
>>
>>2630347
> heroes of justice don't go around jumping people just because they have power.

> Do we have to go over the Uncle Ben philosophy of Great Power = Great Responsibility? You tried to jump my family in their own home like an hour ago, and you're all frothing at the bit to fight me for no reason despite me being a baseline human and also someone who doesn't want to fight you.

> Seriously name a Hero that acts like that. At best you guys are jerks.
>>
File: Capture.png (675 KB, 458x785)
675 KB
675 KB PNG
>>2630228
I can imagine our MC saying this sooner or later.
>>
>>2630347
>'Heroes of Justice', really?
>you get off on this, That's more just a party of murderhobos ladies.
>>
>>2630347
>'Heroes of Justice', really?
>I would have thought you'd find Ninkyo dantai more fitting or bad girls, considering you're regularly up past your bedtimes.
>>
>>2630347
> heroes of justice don't go around jumping people just because they have power.

> Do we have to go over the Uncle Ben philosophy of Great Power = Great Responsibility? You tried to jump my family in their own home like an hour ago, and you're all frothing at the bit to fight me for no reason despite me being a baseline human and also someone who doesn't want to fight you.

> Seriously name a Hero that acts like that. At best you guys are jerks, worst murderhobos.
>>
>>2630347
"Heroes of Justice?" you ask, "really?"

Mary doesn't even blink. There's a universe behind those eyes, a calm pool of gold stars.

"From the leader of the same team that tried to kill me for the crime of putting my hand on my daughter's shoulder," you continue, undaunted in the face of that gaze, "that showed up on my lawn and threatened to kill my wife, and that's talking about beefing over turf, as the kids say, with someone fighting the same enemy?"

"Go on," you say defiantly into those golden eyes, "I haven't let you expound your philosophy. Hit me with your best shot - my steak's getting cold."

As you turn your attention to the steak on your plate, something in catches the corner of your eye. Your wife and Sue are giving you exactly the same look.

...Yeah, that's going to end badly for someone. Hopefully it won't be you.

Mary just looks at you, and if the power filling the room was choking earlier, this is like being wrapped in chains and thrown into a frozen river. You are drowning in the air.

"What do you know?" she asks you, voice entirely level, and you feel a flood of despair, a crushing sense of having an impossible task, with nothing to go on but the idea it must be done, "we're far from perfect, but we defend everyone from something even worse."

The faces around the table are nearly expressionless. Everyone is fighting just to not collapse against the awful pressure in the room.

Even your wife has gone pale.

You cut a piece of steak, lift it to your mouth, and chew it.

Invisible chains want to strap your limbs to the table, holding every motion back like they're restrained by a thousand pounds of iron.

It's the dadliest thing you've ever done. It's one of the hardest things ever.

"You're going to give me some crap about great power coming with great responsibility, aren't you?" she asks, and the pressure increases, if that was possible, "my responsibility is to let people like you lead their little lives, without something from another plane coming through and doing whatever they want. My job," she says, in that perfectly level tone, "is to make sure you can eat that steak without a demon eating you for dinner."

You can barely chew - whatever she's doing is holding your jaw shut.

But somehow you do.

"Sure," she says, "we divide up territory for people to hunt demons, so they can scavenge energy from them, so they can fight more demons," and it feels like you're dying.

It feels like any more of this, and your eyeballs will erupt.

"You don't hunt demons in your territory," she continues, staring through you, "you don't get the energy, you can't keep the contract going, and you die. Or you turn into one of them. Or both."

"And I'm being responsible just by not walking around like this," she says, with a look like she's taking on the universe itself.

...By this time, the other girls are lying on the floor, and your wife looks like she did in the worst throes of morning sickness.

>WRITE IN

Also, roll 1d100
>>
oh no OP is dead (probably asleep on his keyboard)
>>
>>2630427
>I am very sorry that this happened to you.
>>
>>2630431
23:09 - 23:19, yadda yadda.

Also roll.
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>2630427
Hey if you turn into them why is anyone contracting? Enchanted bullets are working fine for me.
>>
>>2630427
>If you stop caring about the people you’re supposed to protect you’re already. Closer to a monster than a human. Go on threaten me, make yourself feel better by belittling an ant. Don’t be surprised when the ant bites back.
>>
>>2630427
All i see, is a child with way too much power, and way too much on her shoulders letting everything get to her head.
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>2630427
>I could careless about what power does, Everybody has to be responsable, But if you're gonna fight you need to keep your troops in line. Treat it like a military order or something, Not let them run around like crazyed drug addicts wanting there next fix.

>besides, I've delta with this bullshit before and if I need to get back into the game, well fuck I guess somebody needs to show the younglings how to do it.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>2630434
>>2630427
He who takes up the devil’s sword serves him by degrees child.
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>2630427
>If you stop caring about the people you’re supposed to protect you’re already. Closer to a monster than a human. Go on threaten me, make yourself feel better by belittling an ant. Don’t be surprised when the ant bites back.

and >>2630435
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>2630427
were going to die?
>>
>>2630433
>>2630436
>>2630437
>>2630438

Time to stop rolling
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>2630427
>>2630435
>>
>>2630438
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>2630431
>You are the center of this system, you and the other magical girls.
>There is a reason we do not have children fight wars, or become police officers.
>You will fight, and fight until you break. Then what die? Shove more girls into the meat grinder?
>Do magical girls ever retire? Is there any help. REAL help?
>>
>>2630443
>>2630440
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V7aUT13qtM
begins playing in the background.
>>
>>2630435
This is basically a better version of what I wanted to say. Thank you!
>>
>>2630427
>You are the center of this system, you and the other magical girls.
>There is a reason we do not have children fight wars, or become police officers.
>You will fight, and fight until you break. Then what die? Shove more girls into the meat grinder?
>Do magical girls ever retire? Is there any help. REAL help
>>
>>2630427
Why do you protect everyone. Not why protect them but why you.
Why would the rats recruit children for their war, when there are other ways to fight back.
From what I've seen T.T. can prove that children don't need to shoulder this burden.
Or me, with just magic shotgun shells can fight them.
You're pawns in another persons game and you need to see this.
>>
>>2630427
dice+1d100
Well I've got a steak to finish off, a dad beer to finish off, and a wife to finish off later. So if you could quit flexing your god complex and start telling me some reasonable ways for me to actually help, seeing as I have a daughter stuck in one of these Faux-stian shlock deals, then we can get somewhere.
>>
>>2630457
whooooops misread that sticky
>>
>>2630458
nah nah bro, we got a 93 we got this :3
>>
>>2630427
Oh, Also
>Dont pretend your doing this for the world.
>>
File: Totally Mary.jpg (354 KB, 679x1200)
354 KB
354 KB JPG
>>2630427
It's time to do the impossible.

...and at this moment, that really seems to just be opening your mouth.

Oh, right, you haven't swallowed the steak yet. Can't talk with food in your mouth, after all.

You actually did a really good job with that steak.

"All I see," you say, after swallowing, "is a child with too much power, and way too much on her shoulders, letting everything go to her head."

If you thought the pressure was intense before, it's doubled now. You've never been a religious man, but you're pretty sure you're across the table from a goddess.

"And with nobody supporting her," you say, staring her down, "I'd ask what your parents think about all this, but you either don't have any, or you're keeping this hidden from them. You're trying to shoulder this on your own," you say, your own shoulders bowing under her impossible pressure, "and you're leading what looks like a gang of druggies, itching for their next fix, not humanity's last hope against the armies of Hell."

"Can you give me a better option?" she asks, clenching her tiny fists, and you feel like she's spending effort to hold her power BACK - she's not trying to crush you, she's just spending less effort to NOT crush you.

"Form some sort of military order," you say, thoughts spinning inside your mind, each one chaotic, but not conflicting, "if you're gonna do this, you need to keep your people in line. Find a way to break your contract! Get a decent lawyer to take a look at this Faux-stian deal!"

There's something about making a terrible dad-tier pun that buoys your spirit, and you feel a little better.

"I've got a steak to finish off, a dad beer to finish off, and a wife to finish off later," you tell the young goddess, "and you're a child soldier flexing your god complex at me."

"You will break," you say, staring her down, "and you will die. And then the rats will throw another girl into this meat grinder in your place."

Honestly, you're surprised the house doesn't explode. You feel like you're being crucified, burnt at the stake, and all the other terrible things men have done to witches - all at once.

Your wife is whimpering like an abused puppy. Everyone else has passed out.

...A bunch of underaged girls passed out on the floor?

This place looks too much like a frat party gone bad.

>We're going to break that cycle, before it breaks you
>Someone needs a fatherly hug
>WRITE IN
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>2630427
Oh man this stake is good wosh i could eat it faster without some girl beening all rude up in my own house eating my food without her trying to show off and makeing me eat it slowy that it gets cold
>>
>>2630494
>We're going to break that cycle, before it breaks you
Now past me the spice
>>
>>2630494
>>We're going to break that cycle, before it breaks you

That wife line is pretty weird imo. Telling a kid you are gunna plow sounds wrong.
>>
>>2630494
>BREAK THE WHEEL

But seriously, play into the "You'll just keep going until you stop going and the rats find another girl to step up" angle. Figuring a long term solution is better. Ya'know, heck with it:

>Let's bring the rat into the conversation
>>
>>2630494
>We're going to break that cycle, before it breaks you
im getting chills
>>
>>2630496
00:00 - 00:10

>>2630498
I thought the write in was kinda funny, and I try to include any dialogue that catches my eye, if possible.
>>
>>2630494
Dall girl all this flouvers and you chose to be salty
>>
>>2630494
>>We're going to break that cycle, before it breaks you
>>
>>2630494
>Someone needs a fatherly hug
>We're going to break that cycle, before it breaks you
>>
>>2630494
>Someone needs a fatherly hug
>>
>>2630504
.my body was ready not my flute you couldnt come at the same time as me
>>
>>2630494
"We're going to break that cycle before it breaks you," you tell her, "we're going to figure out a way to get you, my daughter, and the rest of your crew out of this mess."

There's a strange look in her eyes. It's a small flame of... hope?

You hadn't realized before that there was something missing from her face, but once it comes back, the difference is like night and day.

There's a mutter from the floor that sounds like "first time in thirty tries... And it's Melon's fucking dad..."

"And are you ready to face everyone, and everything that'll come after you for that?" she asks you, trying to extinguish that little flame in her eyes.

It's something jailers and torturers everywhere know - if someone has hope, you can hurt them so much more.

So if someone gives up hope, they can't be hurt as much?

That must be what she thought when she gave it up, you, think, seeing the fire dying out in her eyes.

"No," you say, and take a pull at your beer, "I'm not ready. I'll fuck things up. I might fuck everything up. But, dammit, I'll try to do a good job. And I'll do it anyway, even though I know I'm not ready."

"That's all any father can ever say," you finish, seeing that small flame of hope in the little goddess' eyes light back up, "and it's what we've all got to say when we get the job."

>Someone needs a hug
>Now could you shut it down before you finish off your friends?
>For the hand you got dealt, you haven't done a bad job
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2630518
>>Someone needs a hug
>>
>>2630520
00:19 - 00:29, you know the drill
>>
>>2630518
>>Someone needs a hug
>>Now could you shut it down before you finish off your friends?

"Even if this is a dog eat dog world, we can always rise above it and stop living like animals."
>>
>>2630518
>For the hand you got dealt, you haven't done a bad job

>Someone needs a hug
>>
>>2630518
Now could you shut it down before you finish off your friends?
>>
>>2630518
>Someone needs a hug
>Now could you shut it down before you finish off your friends?
>>
>>2630529
Also your doing the washing up
>>
>>2630518
>>Someone needs a hug
>>
>>2630518
>Now could you shut it down before you finish off your friends?
>>
>>2630518
>>Now could you shut it down before you finish off your friends?
>>
>>2630518
>>Now could you shut it down before you finish off your friends?
>>
>>2630518
>For the hand you got dealt, you haven't done a bad job
>Someone needs a hug
>Now could you shut it down before you finish off your friends?
>>
May i take a moment to point out how much of an utter badass of a nornalfag our guy is? A regular guy with a magic fucking ferret that hates him, and a magic shotgun, is basically staring down a god, and essentially is not giving a singular fuck. I am legitimately impressed.
>>
>>2630518
There's a shift in the air, and the stake-burners slack off a little.

You stand up, with a huge effort.

There's something, a voice inside your head (or many voices) that tells you to hug this lonely little girl.

Because even if she's got godly powers, that's what she is.

So you walk over, each step on hot coals, and wrap her in your arms.

She's stiff as a board, and you wonder it this'll be a repeat of the hug you gave Harriet.

But you keep holding her, just keeping her in your arms, and eventually - you don't know how long it takes, but she unclenches herself, little by little.

Then she's leaning into you.

"And it's Melon's fucking dad," you hear in whispered tones from the floor, "Melon's fucking DAD."

Oh, right. You're somehow the only one holding up against the power of a young goddess. Maybe there is something in that 'chosen one' stuff Harriet was spewing.

"Can you, uh, turn it off?" you ask, tightening your hug against the little girl in your arms, "before you finish off your friends?"

She clenches her fists, and you feel every muscle in her body tense as the awful pressure fades from the room.

The other girls start pulling themselves off the floor, and your wife lets out a breath you didn't know she was holding.

"Honestly," Karen says, looking up at you from a relaxed position on the floor, "I'm pretty sure that qualifies as more of an introduction than fighting me."

"Glad you thought better of it," you tell her, still hugging the little goddess, "because I don't think that would have ended well. You girls sleeping here tonight?"

There's a chorus of nods, as people get back to their food. And you do get to finish that steak.

And then, as the dinner winds down, and the girls file off toward Melon's room, your wife leans toward you and says "honey, I just watched you talk down a goddess."

"Huh?" you ask her, as she pulls you into an embrace.

"Do I HAVE to spell it out to you?" she asks, and you're sure she did it just loudly enough that Sue can hear, "I think it's bedtime."
>>
>>2630571
Calling it here tonight/this morning/whatever the fuck it is in your time zone.

I'm basically dead. Felt I couldn't drop the thread gracefully anywhere. Ten minute voting/update cycles is kind of brutal to run, but waiting twenty minutes is boring.

Twitter, for announcing run rimes (and random commentary): https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

Someone throw this one on the suptg archive.

If you throw questions, comments, or death threats on this post, I should get to them in a while. Hopefully after I've had some sleep.

125 IPs is a new record for me.

Who is Best Girl?
>>
>>2630580
Best Girl is either waifu or the Homu Expy, cause jesus christ thats great.
>>
>>2630580
I think Girl jesus is pretty good or Blue haired.

I am oddly enough enjoying this cluster fuck. Thanks OP.
>>
>>2630580
Clearly our daughter. What kinda father do you take me for.
>>
>>2630580
Next thread we're starting a parent association and we'll be the mightiest unpowered dad and mom team to ever fuck up demons

If not I'll rebel!
>>
>>2630580
thanks for running best girl is shotgun no contest
>>
>>2630580
Goodnight then, Haiku.
This thread was a lot of fun
I'm glad I stayed up.

Best girl is daughter.
Though waifu is amazing
This post fits your name.
>>
>>2630580
>Who is Best Girl?
I'll take Not!Kyoko thank you very much.
>>
Clearly daughter is best girl.
Wife is the Fox waifu.
Shotgun-chan is tomboy childhood friend.
>>
I'm looking forward to some of the potential routes that have opened up here - dadbeers with T.T. sounds fun, as does visiting the in-laws (although they'll probably fight the MC).

>>2630570
>A regular guy with a magic fucking ferret that hates him, and a magic shotgun, is basically staring down a god, and essentially is not giving a singular fuck.
So, standard quest MC behavior.

>>2630581
>waifu
Hoped someone would say that - since I did make the mistake of creating a QMC in an existing relationship (and thus torpedoing chances at romance routes), I at least wanted the wife to be a fun character.

>Homu Expy
I liked her more than I thought I would, actually.

>>2630583
>Girl Jesus
I feel much less of a connection to her than some of the others, but she got some good lines this time.

I admit, I do like the idea of magical girls operating like a gang, and she's a fun little gang leader.

>Blue Haired
Thirst is easy to write, and always good for a couple of laughs.

I like her too, and would kind of like to write her in a fight where she's not getting stomped by the MC.

>>2630584
>Clearly our daughter. What kinda father do you take me for.
Clearly not a sane one, if you're in this thread.

>>2630585
>Next thread we're starting a parent association and we'll be the mightiest unpowered dad and mom team to ever fuck up demons
Go on, write that in and see if people go for it. That could be interesting.

...Although managing the overhead of that many more characters would be suffering.

>>2630587
>>2630592
>best girl is shotgun no contest
>Shotgun-chan is tomboy childhood friend
Shotgun is extremely phallic, and sexually identifies as a "shotgun", not a girl.

Don't be insensitive about gender identities!

>>2630588
Thanks! I'm glad I stayed up too.

Good job on taking the effort to actually write Haiku.

>>2630590
>I'll take Not!Kyoko thank you very much.
But could you take her in a fight?

I feel like every work with powers needs to have at least one character who just thinks having cool powers is fun, even if everyone else angsts about the powers.
>>
>>2630580
...WAIT A MOMENT.
Has melon consciously been in this cycle for thirty years too?
>>
>>2630595
no its !not Homu going back in time 30 times by this point, probably to save pinky from flipping her shit into madness because as you can see shes a damn goddess and nobody is probably able to deal with that shit, except apparently us through the sheer unlimited power of dadness.
>>
>>2629439
>"but after seeing your wife... Uh, I'm not a lesbian, but damn."
>>2630518
>"first time in thirty tries... And it's Melon's fucking dad..."
>>2630571
>"And it's Melon's fucking dad," you hear in whispered tones from the floor, "Melon's fucking DAD."
Harriet, your gay thoughts are leaking.
>>
>>2630595
want to point out with this looping thing she could technically just get us added back earlier during the next one if this fails since this is at least different.
>>
>>2630571
At nighttime
>Red: Hey Marion you Dad is sooooooooooooo coooooooooooool
>Marion: Stop it he is just a normal dad nothing special to him
>Sue: Marion, normal Dad don't come around killing demons with a shotgun and call it a day you know?
>Marion: HEY YOU ATTACK MY DAD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
>Sue: *shrug*
>Red: I would do the same too
>Mary: You really love your dad huh
>Marion: .......i think im very lucky to have a loving dad, and maybe a loving mom even though she's.....a fox.
>Harriet: I hope he is the one
>*everyone looks at Harriet*
>Harriet: I want to experience being a teenage schoolgirl again. *smiles*
>Everyone smiles at Harriet
>Marion: wait where is Sue?
>*loud crashes on Dad's room*
>Marion: GOD DAMN IT SUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THAT IS MY PARENTS!!!!
>>
Melon's gonna have some serious daddy issues.
>>
>>2630605
oh god her expectations in boys are gonna be absolutely bullshit cause all of them will have to at least compare to us when she grows up.
>>
>>2630604
>sue is found underneath wifu the next morning drowning in different fluids
>>
>>2630604
Do dad handbooks cover what to do when your daughter's friends all wanna bang.
>>
>>2629567
>>2629581
Accidental CnC reference, oddly fitting because I am playing through all the CnC the games the past couple of months. Either way we should agree on a dad name, hopefully something less generic then John Smith
>>
>>2630604
>>2630621
>Morning
>You can't move at all
>Wakes up
>Your wife is looking at you on your side standing up with a smile on her face
>Waifu: I didn't know that you can create a harem of girls right now *smirks*
>crushing realization
>Takes off sheets
>Harriet is hugging our back, Mary is our little spoon, Karen is on our feet but Sue is hugging our pants keep snuggling.
>In the corner of the room Marion jealousy intensified
>>
File: 1458024393525.gif (2.69 MB, 500x281)
2.69 MB
2.69 MB GIF
>>2628644
Never played the game but going by the crazy chick's post-bat rant, it sounds like mc's girlfriend was cheating on him and instead of breaking up with her and getting with the yan that loves him, he ends up going along with it and making it a threesome. Also he drank the other guy's semen out of her I guess? Both this game, and this beta as fuck route, is weird as fuck.
>>
You know what i wanna see, Mom teaching Melon how to transform, basically get fox features and fox form.
>>
>>2630571
>Honey I just watched you talk down a goddess
Weird I thought we talked down Mary not our wife
>>
File: download (2).jpg (7 KB, 225x225)
7 KB
7 KB JPG
>>2630714
Melon when in fox form who can also use a gun it's perfect
>>
>>2630714
Also since melon isn't a hundred years old she won't have a tail
>>
I hope we sound proof our walls.
>>
>>2630594
Honestly man, thank you for bringing us all on this wonderful adventure. I never knew I wanted it, I never realized I wanted it. But as this quest goes on, I now know I want MORE of it.

Thank You.
>>
>>2630780
Word.

>>2630594
Bring in the Motorcycle Courier. Make her drop off something from T.T. while we doing a demon fight.
>>
>>2630594
>Shotgun is extremely phallic, and sexually identifies as a "shotgun", not a girl.
It's a girl now.
>Don't be insensitive about gender identities!
Should've thought twice before we got it out of its shell.

>>2630787
>Motorcycle Courier
Who?
>>
>>2630764
>Melon wakes up and hears muffled thumping coming from her parents room
>MGs up and gets ready to fight
>Finds all the other girls outside get parents room peeping
>GUYS THOSE ARE MY PARENTS!
>Blue shushes her
>>
Missed opportunity that our daughter is named Melon instead of Mellon.
>>
>>2630673
Actually what happens is that if you complete the Yandere route, if you start a new game and select a different girl she hacks the game itself to still be with you. She isn't talking to the MC in the game anymore, she's talking to the player themselves.

And then the game locks your save files and doesn't let you start any more new games.

It's not a bug, it's a feature!
>>
>>2630830
We know Sue will jump in to get some of the action, not sure what red and harriet will do.
>>
>inb4 dadliness is just a stand waiting for the most dramatic time to reveal itself.
>>
>>2630791
MC from one of haikus previous quests. Knows bike-fu and fights corporate cyborgs. Though i think its too early, some maybe her ancestor.
>>
>>2630580
I just caught up to this. It gave me a bunch of questions the MC has not had time to think of because his wife is demanding another child every night.

Are we gonna visit our sister's grave? I feel like this is an appropriate time to stop and say hi even if we've not done it in a while.

When are we going to point out to the girls that the ferret was easily capable of enchanting our shotgun? Did I fail to notice that when reading through? Most of them seem to at least have a clue about the contract thing being a bullshit deal but not enough to realize the rat is obviously is a complete liar.

What's stopping it from teleporting us into a volcano? It clearly has some weird corporate policy in it's way but we really need to figure out the specifics.

Can we bind that thing to a circle like you can with a demon?
I wouldn't want it considering ideas like calling backup if/when we figure out how to mess with it's business.

The girls said that the demons own the cops but then later they said they turn into said demons. Does this mean that all of the demons are just little girls screwed over by the rats? If we take that to its logical conclusion, then doesn't that mean the rats are the ones that brought the demons to earth to hurt people in the first place?
Is there some sort of magical justice system that's supposed to be hunting these fucker ferrets down because making a magical pyramid scheme to convert children into demons that are fucking around with everything sounds like the sort of shit that gets anything powerful angry? And that's before if we consider if it likes children.


Is there any actual writing about these guys? All we're getting about the rats is a game of telephone when one side is a liar.
>>
>>2630999
Another random question came to me.
Are we gonna ask our wife about the afterlife and where magical girl souls go after they "properly" die? I don't know what dad religion we subscribe to, but we clearly loved our sister a whole bunch and might want to make sure she's ok or something.
>>
>>2630999
>>2631011
if i recall correctly, OP is more or less winging it abd technically this was supposed to be a one shot, so don't expect things to make sense or have logic right now
>>
It's not on suptg yet, someone who knows how should really archive this.
>>
>>2631036
write a description and I'll do it
>>
File: Spoiler Image (54 KB, 315x275)
54 KB
54 KB PNG
>>2630999
>a bunch of questions the MC has not had time to think of
That's a very polite way to say "because you haven't put any thought into this yet".

>Are we gonna visit our sister's grave?
We're lining up a number of potential things to do - I'll try to remember to put that on the list.

>ferret questions
These questions have answers, you just need to ask the right people.

T. T. is a pretty good source for this kind of thing, actually, being a wizard/magus/whatever, and not really a fan of the rats.

>Does this mean that all of the demons are just little girls screwed over by the rats?
No. There are 'naturally' occuring demons from somewhere else, and then their are magical girls who go off the deep end, effectively becoming demons. ...And then there are homegrown supernatural entities, like the wife.

Terminology is a bit fucky because people tend to slap "demon" on anything powerful, supernatural, scary, and willing to eat people/souls. Most of our current cast could actually qualify, if you think about it.

>Is there some sort of magical justice system?
If there was, I'm not sure this "Attempted Murder is just our way of saying hello" stuff would fly. Or teleporting wizards would be absorbing demons in Eastern Europe.

Or, actually, our entire plot.

I'm envisioning the 'magical world' as being split into a bunch of factions that might not be killing each other all the time, but aren't on good enough terms to have any sort of collective justice system.


>>2631026
>OP is more or less winging it
Yeah, but that's usually how I write. I am thinking through some of the underlying concepts/systems as I go, and try to be consistent, but I do make mistakes.

Currently, I think the largest one is how absolutely all over the place the tone is, but that seems to be entertaining.

>>2631053
"In which we do dad things - Remodeling, Family Talks, Grilling, and Killing Demons"

Something like that, maybe?
>>
>>2631100
>That's a very polite way to say "because you haven't put any thought into this yet".
Nah, I mean MC has been really fucking busy every other second of the day. He wakes up, doesn't have time to properly interrogate the fucking ferret, magical bullshit happens and the ferret tries to murder him once again,wife demands hot dickings, and somehow he has to eventually fit his actual job into this. He's been busy as shit.
>>
>>2631100
Just like Dad has a shotgun approach to the world, the world has a shotgun approach to him. It's perfect

>but aren't on good enough terms to have any sort of collective justice system.
The only justice system worth a damn is /proper fucking parenting/. If any snot nosed teenage wizards and magi cause us grief, then by God are we gonna walk right into hogwarts and tell the fuckers in charge how things are gonna be run in the future
>>
>>2631104
>MC has been really fucking busy every other second of the day.
I was being facetious about your statement. Truthfully, I just don't really like infodumps, or anything that makes me feel like I'm reading an RPG sourcebook, not a story.

>fit his actual job into this
Oh, hell. I knew I was forgetting something.

>>2631109
>by God are we gonna walk right into hogwarts and tell the fuckers in charge how things are gonna be run
I'm sure I read that fanfic somewhere before.
>>
>>2631120
>Oh, hell. I knew I was forgetting something.
I'm sure we're getting back to work tomorrow.
>>
>>2631120
It would be awesome if we are cops
Really awesome
>>
>>2631128
If I remember right we're actually an Accountant.
>>
>>2631134
Oh fuck, that's true
We could be lying to the rat tho
>>
>>2631120
I figured we were just taking all of our vacation days due to the severity of these family issues.
>>
>>2631139
Nah, it'll be much more interesting if we were one. It lets us have a more indepth antagonistic relationship with the fucking rat outside of it bringing our daughteru into a world that we did not want her to be in.
>>
>>2631100
as far as the current scope, on the fly works.

But if this starts going strong overarching plot with multiple points of contention, y'all gonna need a notebook m8.
>>
Next thread when?
>>
>>2631376
Not sure. Hopefully on the weekend, or early next week.

I'll announce it on twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

Since I'm prone to running long threads, I can't do it too often, since it's very tiring.
>>
>>2631100
Well OP considering you have spawned a thread #2 with 1200 replies, I think you are winging it wonderfully. Please keep winging this quest as often as possible.
>>
I'm surprised Melon has not confronted us on how we know so much about magical girls. Multiple times when we talked about it just screams "I have known another magical girl in the past and they died horribly."
>>
>>2633946
Well, it's been a very hectic week. I don't think there's been enough time to reflect and realize it. She is probably more dumbfounded that her dad is more than his job and his garage projects.
>>
>>2634049
I can already imagine it.
>Oh my god! My dad is a person with a personality! who would have guessed that adults are real people too!?!
>>
>>2634338
>>Oh my god! My dad is a person with a personality! who would have guessed that adults are real people too!?!
A lot of kids (and even teenagers) kind of come to this realization fairly suddenly. And sometimes fairly late.

Or they get like two hints in 18 years that their parents were previously in bad marriages/relationships, but don't ever ask further because that would feel really awkward. Or they get busted for drugs, and one parent rolls up their sleeve to show old track mark scars.

I had no idea just how good the 'getting to actually know your family' package I got in this deck would be - originally, it was just a bonus for the main "local dad with shotgun fights demons" wincon.

>>2634049
>it's been a very hectic week (for Melon)

I think at this point, the hypothetical 'Fuck Me, My Dad Found Out I'm a Magical Girl' quest would just be having players calling bullshit on everything:
>Oh god, my dad found out I'm a magical girl!
>Oh god, my dad blew my friend's arms off!
>Oh god, HE'S MY DAD, SUE!
>Oh god, my mom's a demon!
>Oh god, she's actually pretty nice
>Oh god, DAD, SHE'S MY MOM!
>Oh god, I've been dragged into a home remodeling project!
>Oh god, I'm trying to argue my friends off my lawn!
>Oh god, Sue's having a catfight with my mom!
>Oh god, my dad's forcing them/us into a hostage situation!
>Oh god, everyone finally came over for dinner!
>Oh god, they're DRAWING LOTS to see who gets to go grilling with him? HE'S MY DAD!
>Oh god, Sue's going to have ANOTHER catfight with my mom!
>Oh god, I'm unconscious!
>Oh god, we're actually having a sleepover!
>>
>>2634376
You forgot
>Oh God, I can hear Mom and Dad over here
>Oh God, SUE DONT YOU DARE
>>
>>2634574
>Oh God, I CAN HEAR THEM NARRATE EVERYTHING THAT THE'RE DOING OVER THERE!
>>
>>2634574
Does Sue dare enter our wife's MAGICAL REALM?
/*Trickster Kitsune Noises*/
>>
>>2634376
You've given me an interesting idea for a quest to run. I need to get the specifics laid out. Sadly it won't have the same theming, but the idea is definitely from something in this Quest.

So thanks for that.
>>
>>2638476
Look forward to seeing it.
>>
New Thread: >>2639338

Next chapter of this crazy idea begins this afternoon!
>>2638476
I'm glad to hear that. Admittedly, I'm curious about what idea it is.

I run quests far more than I play them, but if you hit me up on twitter, I'd be happy to chat about it.
>>
>>2626804
>only married ten years
>have teenaged daughter

OP...




Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.