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/qst/ - Quests


Finding out your daughter, little Melon, was a magical girl dragged you into a very deep rabbit hole.

You're still falling, and you can't see the bottom. Your wife, Liska, has apparently been a kitsune the whole time.

Well, that was going to make visiting the in-laws interesting, but you didn't think it was going to be this crazy.

Right now, you're hanging out in the family's mountain castle, full of youkai... and the entire human population of the small town at the foot of the mountain.

Because there was a flood.

Because the local land goddess is going through a trying time, which manifested as a huge rainstorm.

Because her son told her he'd just killed his father, and taken over as the family head.

Ok, there's got to be a better way to lay out what kind of crazy family you married into.
As far as you can tell, this is something like a timeline of this weird pocket of what appears to be feudal youkai nobility:

Back in the closed country days, the youngest son stowed away with the Dutch, and has been wandering around the world card sharping people.

At some point, your mother in law decided to tie herself down as a land goddess, and people built a shrine for her. You've not really sure how the whole 'becoming a land goddess' thing works, or why she did it, but you're guessing she might not have been in the happiest of marriages.

Then it seems like the rest of the kids - Sachio, Haru, and Liska, went off to do the whole 'grand tour' thing that was all the rage in the 1920s, and got stuck in various places for World War 2.

Sachio fought with the French Resistance, Haru sat it out in a US Japanese internment camp, and your wife, uh, got some secrets out of the Nazis for the OSS. Using methods you'd prefer to not think about.

Their father went and sacked Nanjing, and probably did a lot of other stuff.

Eventually, you met Liska, and that's probably the best part of this whole story.

When you showed up in Japan, it seems like karma came for the old man in a big way. Kelly, your sworn brother and a magic assassin, was here to kill him. But before he could, Sachio showed up and took his father's head.

It's nailed to the wall in the main hall now.

Luckily it's in fox form. The other way would have been a bit too heavy metal for you.

Anyway, Liska took you to meet her mother yesterday or the day before (a lot of the past ~40 hours has been a blur), and Sachio showed up with a peace offering and probably his own summary of events.

Turns out that when someone's a local goddess, emotional turmoil translates into flooding. You're not sure if the sky's crying with her or what, but somehow her shrine maiden managed to organize an evacuation of the town to the mountaintop castle, and argue Sachio into accepting the refugees.

Then there was the grueling work of trying to fight the flood. And there might have been an amateur rock concert to entertain the townspeople.

Visits to the in-laws are always supposed to be awkward, but this?
>>
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We need to add these to our repertoire.
>>
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>>2698672
You've had a hard day. Couple of days. Something.

Actually, you're really not sure how long it's been since you found yourself in a car barreling toward the mountain in front of the biggest thunderheads you've ever seen.

But you are sure that eventually, after fighting a flood and presiding over a strange benefit concert, you found a bed.

And you were damn grateful.

Things didn't work out well after that.

You're back there. You're watching your sister smile and walk into Hell.

You run after her, try to pull her back, but end up stumbling through yourself, falling into an angry blast furnace of a land. Mountains and shards of rock jut up like teeth trying to eat the burning ball in the sky, a sort of twisted parody of a dying sun.

Then you look up at your sister. She's frilly, and screaming, dark lines painting themselves toward her face like veins...

And then you're awake, lying on a floor. Well, technically, you're lying on a futon on the floor. Liska's still sleeping peacefully, but Melon's bed is empty.

You pull yourself together, shrug on some clothes, and walk out into the hall.

It's carpeted in people. You have to be damn careful not to step on any of the sleepers, as you try to find a way out.

How the hell did you make it to the archery range? This place is a fucking maze. At least you're outside. It's a lot easier to get your bearings outside the castle.

[2/3]
>>
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>>2698686
You hear a solid THUNK from one of the targets. Apparently someone's out here already.

That's not an arrow.

That's a fucking sword quivering in the archery target.

Who the hell?

You round the corner, and see a familiar head of blue hair.

"How the fuck did you get here, Sue?" you ask.

"Hitched a ride with Freebs," she says, turning back toward you as she scratches the ferret behind his ears, "he was telling stories when he came back to check on us, and it sounded like you're havin' a real fun vacation. Beautiful place," she says, looking around, "and it's got that 'just washed' smell like after a big rain."

...Yes, Sue would think this was fun.

>I'm actually on my way to check on the aftermath of that rainstorm
>How's the demon killing going?
>Want to go look for Melon?
>This is going to be a short visit, Sue
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2698696
>How's the demon killing going?
>>
>>2698696
>>This is going to be a short visit, Sue
Immediate Family, not extended Family.
>>I'm actually on my way to check on the aftermath of that rainstorm
>>
I have a couple questions just throwing em out

What are our plans on the loop thing?
Do we have any plans on how to achieve immortality or at least lengthen the puny human lifespan?
Whats our midterm goal? After freeing the girls and securing an alternative stable source of power, what next?
How does the wife feel about concubines?

I feel that we should make contingency plans for if we dont manage to solve the loop thing before years end. Ask harriet what could be done. I, for one, approve of seeking immortality so we don't leave the wife lonely for literally all of time. I think those anons who want mgdad to die for 'drama' and 'character development' miss the fact that mgdad will want to pursue the path of immortality once all the immediate issues are taken care of if at all possible. From what we've seen there's surely some magic bullshit that can do the job.
>>
>>2698696
>I'm actually on my way to check on the aftermath of that rainstorm
>Want to go look for Melon?
>>
>>2698707
>concubi-
DON'T
>>
>>2698696
>This is going to be a short visit, Sue
the team is already one girl short, that's just not safe
>I'm actually on my way to check on the aftermath of that rainstorm
if it's still bad, consider calling Harriett to know if she remembers an huge flooding in japan this day in different timelines, the white fox getting killed and his wife crying over it could be a pretty stable event
>How's the demon killing going?
>>How's everyone else doing?
>>
>>2698710
DO
>>
>>2698707
For immortality, we should probably talk about it to Bernie or Heinrich
>>
>>2698699
09:49 - 10:05 Voting period and all.

>>2698707
>loop thing
If you manage to not let the world end, that probably solves itself.
>how to achieve immortality
Well, if you start meditating right now, you might achieve enlightenment fast enough.
>After freeing the girls and securing an alternative stable source of power, what next?
You say that like it's going to be easy.
>How does the wife feel about concubines?
Take a wild guess.
>>
>>2698717
i'm guessing that she'd accept it at first but would grow to hate it but wouldn't dare to confront us about it and wouldd end up taking a one way trip to japan to become a goddess... or worse
>>
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>>2698696
"'Big rain' doesn't do it justice," you tell her, "I'm actually on my way to check on the aftermath. Want to come?"

"Sure!" she says, walking after you with Freebles on her shoulder.

The two of you walk around the castle. Sue's humming to herself and seems to be in high spirits. And she's walking rather close to you.

"How's the demon killing going?" you ask, hoping to not have to walk in near-silence the whole way. You walk a little closer to the other side of the hallway.

"Getting T.T. to do that was genius!" Sue says, with a skip, "we're finally pulling some good ones now! I didn't think it was going to work after he just got small fry the first time, but they're getting bigger and harder - nothin' we can't take, though."

She smiles up at you.

"I'm a little worried about the team being two girls short," you tell her, walking past that little rock garden. Are those pebbles levitating between Melon and Haru?

Well, at least you know where your daughter is.

"Ah," Sue says, and it looks like she's fixated on you enough that she didn't even notice your daughter's training, "Rachel and Einz are doing great. Besides, T.T. just cleared his," and she laughs, "'emo kid array', so we're good for the night."

Oh. The time difference. And then you realize Sue's got a few splashes of blood on her clothes.

So she's been fighting demons, and then decided to hitch a ride back here with Freebles afterward?

"He's really calling it that?" you ask, trying to picture the red-suited wizard using that as an official name for anything he made.

"Oh yeah," Sue tells you, "it's damn funny how he grumbles about doing something 'so amateurish and low-class'," she finishes with a passable imitation of your sworn brother.

Ok, that's probably a bit entertaining, you think as the two of you stroll out onto the battlements and see the destruction below.

It's not as bad as it could be, is all you can tell yourself.

"Morning, brother!" Sachio says, waving toward you. Reiya Hamasaki's standing there with him. Looks like you weren't the only one that thought about checking on the flood.

"We will need to bring in the government," Reiya says, and she glances at Sue, "for complete recovery."

The blue-haired girl is just staring out over the destruction below, eyes wide. Looks like Freebles didn't give the full story.

"I'll have to go through my father's papers for his contacts," Sachio tells her, then asks, "so who's this? Do I have another niece I didn't know about?"

>Let Sue introduce herself
>She's one of my crew
>She's a friend of Melon's
>Do I look like I have the blue hair gene?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2698745
>>She's a friend of Melon's
>>
>>2698745
>>She's a friend of Melon's
>>
>>2698745
>Let Sue introduce herself
>get ready to block her mouth if she starts saying "concubine" or something as silly
>>
>>2698745
>She's a friend of Melon's
>>
>>2698745
>Do I look like I have the blue hair gene?
>Let Sue introduce herself
>>
Our hair is fuckin gray. How is he supposed to know if we had blue hair or not?
>>
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>>2698745
"She's a friend of Melon's," you tell him, "hitched a ride with Freebles."

"We are rather at capacity," Sachio says, with a pointed glance down at the valley, "so I hope it will be a short visit. What's your name?" he asks Sue, taking a step forward.

"I'm Sue," she tells him, looking him over and bowing slightly, "do you guys do handshakes?"

Sachio laughs, "of course," he says, as Sue steps up and shakes his hand, "haven't you heard of Japanese businessmen? I'm Sachio, this guy's brother in law. And sworn brother, and all that. And I don't mean to be rude about the visit - any other time I'd be happy to invite you to stay, but under current circumstances..." he says, and gestures at the floodplain with his left hand.

"I'll take you up on it later," Sue says, smiling, "I've never been to Japan before."

"But there's something better we could do," she tells him, her eyes fixed on the sword at his waist.

Sachio's eyes narrow, and then he catches her meaning.

"Well," he says, and that grin shows off too many sharp teeth, "it's not as if anyone's awake yet."

Oh hell. It just sort of happened. And maybe you should have seen it coming. But you can't deny that you're a little interested in how these two stack against each other...

Reiya Hamasaki's standing a little behind Sachio, just like you're standing a little behind Sue. You can't read the look in her eyes, but she's not doing anything to stop it.

>Alright, but when I call it, you two stop
>This had better be 'friendly'
>Hamasaki, let's just back up and watch
>Goddammit, Sue, stop starting this sort of thing!
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2698775
>Alright, but when I call it, you two stop

If things go well maybe sue will fixate on Sachio instead of us.
>>
>>2698775
>>Hamasaki, let's just back up and watch
one is a grown adult and the other can regenerate lost limbs. this will be good.
>>
>>2698775
>Hamasaki, let's just back up and watch
>Alright, but when I call it, you two stop
>>
>>2698775
>This had better be 'friendly' Sachio has enough property damage to deal with right now
>Get to the spectator section and have a chat with Hamasaki. So uh... I think you let the donation money in the box.
>>
>>2698775
>This had better be 'friendly'
>Alright, but when I call it, you two stop
>>
>>2698791
Left* the money in the donation box.
>>
>>2698775
>Alright, but when I call it, you two stop
>Hamasaki, let's just back up and watch
they're made of the same wood
>>
Slightly off topic. Kelly was fucked if he had actually managed his hit. I wonder if his employer knew all about that.
>>
>>2698813
If he didn't negotiate a getaway it's is own dumb fault.
>>
>>2698814
The problem isn't the getaway. the problem is an actual fucking GOD would be out for his head that he didn't know about and his escape route might have been in her path.
>>
>>2698717
I'd guess she'd be fine with it as long as they know their place. And she gets a turn.
>>
>>2698821
land gods are pretty deeply tied to their land, no? he'd "just" have to go far enough fast enough
>>
>>2698821
She didn't freak out until after Sachio showed. Doubt she even knew it had happened.
>>
>>2698829
I was figuring that the search parties of Yokai might tip her off. Plus she's the god of the mountain and all that so she might just hear anything that's said on the mountain like a getaway car with a two people talking about their latest hit and confirming it to the client.
>>
>>2698833
If he didn't thoroughly research his job it's his own dumb fault
>>
>>2698833
Pretty sure Kelly has killed a small g god or two in his time.

He's like Tom Holt's "Kurt Lundqvist".
>>
>>2698775
This had better be 'friendly
>>
>>2698833
I'm certain there was plenty of talk about it that night, and she didn't really seem to care.
>>
>>2698775
"Alright," you manage to say over the almost palpable atmosphere of killing intent, well, more like 'competitive intent', radiating off of them, "but when I call it, you two stop. And this had better be friendly."

"Don't worry, brother," Sachio says, his grin getting wider, "I'll treat her like my own family."

Considering that you saw him decapitate his father, that's not comforting.

"I can handle myself," Sue tells you, pushing you away. And there's something in the way she moves that tells you that you'd have to put both of them on the ground to have a hope of stopping this.

You nod at Hamasaki, and jerk your head toward a place to sit and watch. She catches your meaning, and the two of you are sitting side-by-side as fast as a definitely not running pace can get you there. The stones of the battlements are actually fairly comfortable.

"I think you left his donation in the box," you tell the shrine maiden.

"I am fast," she tells you, and twitches her sleeve enough that you can see the stack of bills Sachio left at the shrine.

You didn't even see... but were you really paying that much attention to her at the time? Things happened pretty quickly. Did she run back for the money while you weren't looking?

Then you look back at the two combatants. They're just standing there?

But even you can feel that something is happening.

Although you're not really sure what.

"What is she?" Hamasaki asks you, "she challenged him without provocation, and he took her up on it."

"She's a magical girl," you say with a grimace, "they do that."

"Does that translate to 'mahou shoujo'?" the shrine maiden asks you.

"Probably," you tell her, and then things start happening.

Sachio draws his sword, answered by a set of four blades appearing from nowhere around Sue, and one dropping into her hand. She blocks his slash, and then he's on the defensive, parrying the swords that scream at him from the air.

And your brother's grinning even wider than before.

"Let us get to a tower," Hamasaki says, getting up and running. The edge of the battlements is starting to seem like a dangerous place to be, with the clatter of steel on the stones.

A few seconds later, you're looking down at the fight. It's a pinwheel of shining blades, a storm of slashes and counterslashes.

And suddenly, a few youkai are up there on the tower with you.

A tengu flaps down and whispers "is she your daughter? I would take her as a pupil."

Is that tanuki really taking bets?

>You're going to have to ask her yourself
>What's this 'mahou shoujo' thing?
>Just watch
>Hope this isn't enough to distract Melon and Haru from the training
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2698836
He and Shelby said earlier that he was expecting to sleep in the mountain. I don't think his getaway vehicle was anywhere near and he was planning to avoid search parties in the forest.
>>
>>2698848
>>What's this 'mahou shoujo' thing?

>>2698849
man I don't care
>>
>>2698848
>No, one of her friends.
>>She plans on coming back to Japan, maybe she'll be up for it.
>What's this 'mahou shoujo' thing?
>>
>>2698848
>What's this 'mahou shoujo' thing?
>>
>>2698848
You're going to have to ask her yourself
>>
>>2698848
>No, one of her friends.
>You can talk to her about that, but I suspect we will be heading back to the states soon.
>>
>>2698896
>>2698848
This.
>>
>>2698848
>What's this 'mahou shoujo' thing?
Do you have a second to talk about our lord and savior "FUCK HELL"?
>>
>>2698908
What is his cape pinned to?
>>
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>>2698848
"One of her friends," you tell the tengu, "and she's thinking about coming back here, maybe she'd be up for it."

"I may ask her after," the tengu tells you, beady bird eyes following every move of the combat, "if she survives."

That's a dark thought, but you're going to call it before that, right?

"What's this mahou shoujo thing?" you ask Reiya.

Her eyes don't even move from the fight as she answers.

"For love and justice," she mutters, "a modern thing. If I am a staff, with one side held by humans and the other by... the 'supernatural'? then they are a sword, with the hilt in the hands of humanity."

Or held by the rats. It seems like she doesn't have the full picture.

Then you're distracted by shouts from the spectators. You look down, and see Sachio's blade wreathed with fire.

And then Sue goes frilly, and there's a noise from the crowd of youkai around you. Hard to tell if it's positive or not.

There's a crowd gathering below the battlements as well, sleepy-eyed folks rubbing at their faces, and... yeah, that's Haru and Melon in it too. And Liska - you couldn't mistake those ears anywhere.

The thing's become an exhibition, you realize, as a sheet of flame covers the castle wall, answered by a slicing storm of blades appearing from the air.

In the middle of it all, Sue and Sachio are slashing, parrying, almost dancing around each other, locked in a terrifying tango.

They're both bleeding. It seems like each of them has inflicted some superficial wounds on the other.

But Sue's getting pushed back. You don't know if it's experience, or raw power that's making the difference. And Sue was probably tired from fighting demons when she showed up here.

She's still fending Sachio off expertly, but even you can tell the tide has turned. The tanuki behind you is doing a land-office business, and you can hear him adjusting odds.

You think you hear a yell of "the sword!" over the roaring flames.

>Throw the Thousand Year Blade to Sue
>Place bets
>Jump down and get in the mix
>Call it
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2698913
>>Throw the Thousand Year Blade to Sue
>>
>>2698913
>Call it

It's distasteful having to use the swords power to win a friendly match.

Tell Sue to git gud scrub if she wants to keep going down this route.
>>
>>2698913
>Call it
>>
>>2698913

See >>2698921
As mean as it is, a sword like that isn't supposed to be used outside of extreme circumstances.
>>
>>2698913
>Call it
no external help, playtime's over.
>>
>>2698913
>YELL GIT GUD
>GO BIG OR GO HOME

(please go home)
>>
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>>2698912
I guess it's held at the shoulders, pined to the wifebeater?
>>
>>2698913
>Call it

If you need fucking the sword, You don't deserve it.
>>
>>2698921
Yeah.
>>
>>2698912
it's tied to his chest hair with a really thin string
>>
>>2698913
>Call it
But the question is: how?
>>
>>2698964
Pop off a shot into the air.

Very American.
>>
>>2698964
whistle
>>
>>2698979
Yeah the dadwhistle
>>
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>>2698913
"I'm calling it!" you yell from the tower, "S-"

And your voice is overwhelmed by a torrent of cries, yells, cheers, and anything else a human (or inhuman) throat can utter.

Townspeople enthused by seeing a human stand against the lord of what goes bump in their nights.

Youkai wanting to see their new lord prove himself.

Reiya mutters at you "stopping things now will be bad."

Well, it's not like you could stop them. Seems like the roar of the crowd is dead set against that. Hell, you're pretty sure those two can't even hear you over it.

And there's a flurry of activity below, each contestant plowing into the other, having learned their opponent's fighting style.

Sachio parries a blow, and two swords appear from thin air and skewer his shoulder.

"She knew he would block that way," the Tengu says to himself, "from the blind spot! Wonderful!"

For him, maybe. But you can't really see how either of them winning the deathmatch it looks like this is heading toward is going to lead to a better tomorrow for aynone.

Blades whirl below you, each fighter pushing every advantage they can take. Taking every stab and slice they can through their opponents' guard.

And then, in an instant, their swords are at each other's throats, and they pause. Any move from either of them would end in death.

And they both did it at the same time?

"DONE!" you yell from the tower, "TIE! IT'S OVER!"

You can almost see the tension drain from Sue and Sachio as you vault off the short tower and run toward them.

"You're pretty good," you barely hear Sachio say, "damn glad this was just friendly."

"Same," Sue tells him, as they pull their blades away from each other's necks, "I wouldn't want to see you serious."

"I wouldn't want to see me serious," Sachio tells her, as, uh, did the shrine maiden beat three yuki-onna to his side, and where did she get those bandages?

"Good fuckin' fight," they both say, almost together, as you realize you've somehow become Sue's corner. And someone hands you a couple rolls of bandages.

"Sue!" Melon yells, running over, still panting from climbing the battlement, "I didn't even know you were here!" she finishes wrapping the blue-haired girl in a hug.

Then she takes the bandages from you and begins tending to her friend.

"I did pretty good, huh?" Sue says, looking up at you.

>You did good
>You really wanted the sword for a 'friendly match'?
>There's this tengu that wants to talk to you
>I'm just glad it ended without anyone getting too hurt
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2698986
>You did good
>>
>>2698986
>You did good
>I'm just glad it ended without anyone getting too hurt
>You really wanted the sword for a 'friendly match'?
>There's this tengu that wants to talk to you
ALL THE THINGS! In that order if possible?
>>
>>2698986
>>You really wanted the sword for a 'friendly match'?
>>There's this tengu that wants to talk to you
>>
>>2698986
>You did good
>>
>>2698986
>>You did good
>Pat her head. She deserves it.
>>
>>2698986
>You did good
>Pat her head. She deserves it.
>I'm just glad it ended without anyone getting too hurt
>>
>>2698986
>You did good
>>
>>2698986
>You did good
>Pat her head
>>
>>2698994
>>2698986
Yes. All the things. Tell her we're very proud.
>>
>>2698986
>You really wanted the sword for a 'friendly match'?
>There's this tengu that wants to talk to you
those
>>
>>2698986
He still has his arms. I'm dissapointed.
>>
>>2698986
"You did good," you tell her, and ruffle her hair, "I'm kinda proud of you, actually."

Sue smiles up at you, as melon starts bandaging her arm, and you hope she's not reading too much into it. That's a bit like hoping The War To End All Wars doesn't get a sequel, isn't it?

"Melon," Haru says, cutting through the moment (which you're a little grateful for), "I might have figured it out, after seeing her," he jerks his head at Sue, "fight. Let's get back to it."

Your daughter looks at you, and you mutter "your choice."

"You'll take care of her, right?" Melon asks.

"Yeah," you tell her, and she gets up to follow her uncle back to the garden.

"So Melon's gonna be like that too," Sue says, weakly, as you continue bandaging her, "don't fuck around with that stuff, I'll be fine in a couple of hours," she tells you, sitting up.

"Magically, maybe," you tell her, "but I hope she doesn't catch his attitude."

Sue laughs at you "don't think that's gonna happen. She's too kind. She's not like us," she tells you, grinning and looking between you and Sachio.

Wait, like 'us'? She's lumping you in with him and... herself?

Oh, right, you blew her arms off the first time you met her. Totally in self defense.

"Look at her taking care of him," she says in a whisper, glancing at the shrine maiden, who's busy dealing with your brother in law, "she's too kind too. She probably doesn't even realize the path she's on!" Sue says, and starts laughing until it stops in a pained cough, "fucker got me between the ribs," she says, and then sees the look on your face, "I'll be fine. Gimme an hour."

Magical girls.

Jesus.

"That was a most impressive display," a voice suddenly says at your elbow, in a flurry of black feathers, "I would be glad to take you as a pupil!"

It's the tengu from before.

"What did you think of that fight?" Sue asks him, her eyes lighting up.

"Your greatest failure," the birdman says, "was not gauging your opponent fast enough. once you knew what he could do, you could only..."

They start an animated conversation about swordplay, and you take your chance to get out.

>And you go find Melon and Haru
>And you go ask Liska what she thinks about all this
>And you just sort of wander off
>And you decide to go talk to Sachio and the shrine maiden
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2699090
>And you decide to go talk to Sachio and the shrine maiden
>>
>>2699090
>And you go ask Liska what she thinks about all this
>>
>>2699090
>And you just sort of wander off

Lets see if Mother in Law shows up.
>>
>>2699090
>>And you go ask Liska what she thinks about all this
>>
>>2699096
13:37 - 14:00 voting period.

Hope I resolved the 'call it' decently. It didn't seem like those two (or the crowd) would go for that until they felt it really should be called.
>>
>>2699107

>13:37

noice
>>
>>2699090
>And you just sort of wander off

Let's be a tourist for a bit.
>>
>>2699090
I would protect that smile to my very last breath.
>>
>>2699090
>>And you go find Melon and Haru
>>
>>2699134
If it's the source you have shit taste.

If it's in this game, same.
>>
OP, a little bit of feedback:

Please don't write a description of the scene mid sentence. I know that they can be used to add some emphasis to a moment and to give the idea that the character is taking a moment to breathe, but most of the time it tends to break the immersion and the flow of the sentence. It would feel better if you do it after the sentece is over. For example:

"Your greatest failure," the birdman says, "was not gauging your opponent fast enough. once you knew what he could do, you could only..."

and

"Your greatest failure, was not gauging your opponent fast enough." the birdman says. "Once you knew what he could do, you could only..."
>>
>>2699134
you know, she seems way more reasonable once she is not bloodlusted and actually lusted by those love shotgun rounds freebles made for us.
>>
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>>2699090
You make your way off the battlements, and push your way through the crowd toward where you saw your wife's ears.

That one guy had better not be kneeling to you. Just collapsing under the stress or something.

"What do you think about all this?" you whisper to Liska, once you reach her.

"Holy shit," she says, "you should have been a diplomat. She just showed them all," she continues, waving an arm across the crowd, "that a human can stand against one of... us. On even ground. That's probably done as much as Sachio opening the castle."

Humans living alongside the supernatural?

Is that what you're laying the groundwork for here? Or had they already laid the cultural framework for it, and you happened to be there when the floodgates broke?

"How did you get that to happen?" Liska asks.

"Sue hitched a ride with Freebles," you tell her, "and it just sort of happened. I couldn't really stop them."

"It wasn't fixed?" she asks, eyes narrowing, and then she laughs, "I've got to sass Sachio about that," she says, and heads off toward the battlement.

Leaving you to just wander. So you do.

Most of the castle has woken up now. People are moving around, in little knots, cautious of the various youkai standing around or walking past. Acting like they're in a castle of demons.

There's a very ambitious gambler trying his luck at cards against a tanuki, a frosty-faced yuki-onna, and a couple of tengu. You're not sure if he's winning, but they're all having fun.

And you see some kids bowing at a kappa, who has to go refill the hole in his head after every round. They're laughing at him, but you're pretty sure that's a smile on his froggy face.

Maybe this is a way for people to deal with being drawn into this world. Or perhaps this is a world their folklore prepared them for.

It's not your world, even if you're hip-deep in it.

[1/2]
>>
>>2699147
the comma in your second example reads like mixing up german grammar with english words. It hinders legibility.
>>
>>2699182
Both examples are from Haiku´s post, commas and all. The only difference is just that i rearranged the second one so that the birdman's action is after his sentece. if you really have an issue with that, tell Haiku.
>>
>>2699177
Then you round a corner, and almost bump into a white-haired man.

He sniffs.

"A family reunion?" he asks, in English tinted with several accents, "oh, I think we've met, even if you were memorially impaired for it."

"Not sure I caught your name," you tell him, suspicions rising in your mind.

"I'm going by John now," he says, smiling, "I heard there was something going on back home, so I headed back."

"Good to meet you," you say, realizing who this guy is, "...for the second time. Tell me you're not going to duel me about that royal flush."

He grins, holding up his hands.

"Of course not," he tells you, "I'm just here to salute the new family head, and I think some economic aid might be in order."

"Glad to meet someone who's not trying to murder me," you mutter.

"That is the usual thing, isn't it?" John asks, "but not really my style. Hoyle's my bible. Did you assist my brother with his coup?"

>Not exactly
>I believe there's a card game over there you could get dealt into
>How the hell did you ship out with the Dutch?
>Economic aid?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2699201
>Not exactly
>I asked a question and he gave an answer that Sachio really, really didn't like.

>Everyone seems to be remarkably cool about patricide here. Is this just how you do things when you're immortal or was he that big of a dick?
>>
>>2699201
>Not exactly
More along the lines of stepping out of the way, and letting family sort family matters.
>>
>>2699201
>Not exactly
>More along the lines of stepping out of the way, and letting family sort family matters.
>>
>>2699201
>Not exactly
>>
>>2699201
>Not exactly
>I asked a question and he gave an answer that Sachio really, really didn't like.
>I did keep the assassin waiting to knock them off from doing anything until it was all sorted out.
>>
>>2699201
>WRITE IN

OUR Brother handled it himself, I just helped tidy up the end a little bit.
>>
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>>2699201
"Not exactly," you tell him, "I asked a question. Sachio really didn't like his answer. Then I just stood off to the side and let Sachio settle family matters. I fobbed off an assassin until it was all sorted out, even. Keep it in the family, right?"

John cocks an eyebrow at you

"No wonder you play good poker," he finally says with a laugh, "first I heard of anything was the flood, and I guessed it was mom."

"Everyone seems pretty cool about parricide," you start, "is that just how you do things when you're immortal -"

John cuts you off, "someone was going to do it one day," he tells you, "honestly," he whispers at you, "my money was on Haru, and I'm going to have a couple of bookies on my back for that."

Wait, this guy was betting on which of his brothers would kill his father?

"Sounds like you won't have any trouble paying them off," you say, and then whisper, "so he was just that much of a dick?"

"Look," he whispers back, "why do you think I shipped out with the Dutch? Why do you think mom bailed on him to become a land goddess?"

Those are kind of decent points.

"A bit surprised it took the Thousand Year Blade that long to convince him, though," John tells you, and then he glances at your belt.

Even a practiced poker face can't hide that look of shock.

"I won it off him a couple weeks ago," you tell the slack-jawed kitsune.

"So even without..." John says, trailing off.

"I TRIED TO GET HIM TO DO IT," the sword says, "I TRIED FOR YEARS. YEARS!"

Yup, you're still in free fall down the rabbit hole here.

John starts laughing, with that peculiar barking edge to it.

"Well," he says, "at least it was him, and not the sword. I've got to see my brother," he finishes, brushing past you.

As soon as John rounds the corner, you hear Sachio's unmistakable voice, even if he is yelling in Japanese.

Then he repeats it in English for good measure: "welcome my brother! Party like the prodigal son's returned! Because he has!"

At least Sachio's ok enough to yell. You weren't really sure, after Sue finished with him.

There's a maelstrom of activity, voices shouting in a language you don't know, youkai flitting everywhere, and some bemused looks on the faces of the human townspeople.

Seems like they're preparing for another feast.

It would have to be a feast to feed this many people.

>In the confusion, find Sachio and ask about what the sword said
>In the confusion, find Melon and Haru
>In the confusion, find Liska and ask her what the hell is wrong with her family
>In the confusion, just go with it and head into... would this be 'brunch'?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2699279
>In the confusion, just go with it and head into... would this be 'brunch'?
>>
>>2699279
>Just step away from it all for a little. Find a quiet place and clear your head.
It has been non-stop crazy and if something important happens they can find us easily enough.
>>
>>2699279
>In the confusion, get mobbed by all them Japanese ladies who can't speak a lick of English
>>
>>2699279
>Find a tree and take a siesta. Try out this meditation shit and become enlightened.
>>
>>2699279
>>In the confusion, just go with it and head into... would this be 'brunch'?
>>
>>2699279
backing this >>2699290
>>2699311
>>
>>2699279
>Go to city and buy some weeb items
>Don't stare on a highschool girls
>Stare anyway
>>
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>>2699279
This has been some non-stop crazy. But you've had enough.

Nothing is currently on fire. The town PROBABLY can't get much more destroyed.

After that display earlier, nobody's going to screw with Sue.

There are a lot of responsible and powerful folks around. Well, powerful, if not responsible. And they're mostly reasonable.

You just want to find a nice, quiet place. Hopefully under a tree. Maybe you can reach enlightenment.

So you find a tree in another rock garden, and slump down under it.

If something terrible happens, someone will find you.

Right?
You're not really sure how long you sleep for, but at least it's dreamless.
A hot tongue wakes you up, lapping at your face like a dog. It's a... golden fox?

Once it notices you're awake, it sits back on its haunches like it's very proud of itself.

And then, uh, Melon's sitting there?

"I did it!" she says, "I can fully transform now! Look at my tail!" she says, suddenly changing back into a canine in front of your eyes, and waving her fox tail around.

>That's nice.
>Five more minutes...
>Great job!
>How long have I been asleep?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2699279
>>In the confusion, find Melon and Haru
>>
>>2699366
>>Great job!
>>
>>2699366
>Great job!
>>
>>2699366
>Scratch her ears.
>Great job!
>How long have I been asleep?
>>
>>2699366
>>Great job!
>>
>>2699366
>Great job!
> 5 more minutes.
>>
>>2699366
>Eskimo kisses as you scratch her ears
>How long have I been asleep?
>>
>>2699396
. . . . That's some Trump and Ivanka stuff there.

No touching our daughters you perv.
>>
>>2699418
stop being a faggot. Now you are going to tell me that you are against parents kising their children on their cheeks?
>>
>>2699418
The fuck? What? How do you make that connection?
>>
>>2699418
>Eskimo kisses
>Somehow equates to something not relevant to the quest
>ConfusedBlackMan.gif
>>
>>2699452
I think anon confused eskimo kisses with french ones?
>>
>>2699366
>Great job!
>How long have I been asleep?

Once we see the stepbrother, in a joking tone
>Hey, think you can teach me that? I'm thinking a german shepherd
>>
>>2699466
Yeah we should totally do this
>Not dobberman
Step up anon
>>
>>2699418
Out... of all the political members you could pick... You chose the two that aren't like that?

Anon please take your advance autism and leave.
>>
>>2699472
Anon has a PhD in Autism.
>>
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>>2699366
"Great job!" you say, reaching out to the fox, and pulling her into a hug. Then you scratch her behind the ears.

"Dad!" Melon yells, now a human again in your arms, "I told you those were sensitive!"

Oh.

"I'm pretty damn proud of you," you tell her, hugging your daughter.

"You should be," Haru says, detaching himself from the tree behind you, "I've never seen someone get it so fast," he finishes, and walks away.

"Think you could teach me?" you ask his back jocularly, "I'm thinking German Shepherd."

"Only if your mother got frisky with one," he says, glancing back at you, "Hmm. A definite possibility. We're trying foxfire tomorrow, Melon," he calls back over his shoulder, walking out of the rock garden, and Melon's eyes light up.

That's a scary thought. But maybe you should thank the guy sometime. Melon's certainly able to go back to fully human now, you realize, as you pat her head and don't feel a second set of ears.

"Uncle Haru," she tells you, "figured out how the magical girl thing works after he saw Sue fight," she says, leaning back against the tree, "he can't get it off me, but he taught me to get around it, if that makes sense."

Magic's really never going to make sense to you, but you've got the feeling it doesn't even make sense to the people who use it.

"And you should have seen Sue's face!" Melon continues, and you can feel her giggles, "Freebles took her home after that, but she was shocked when she found out I was the 'trained fox' she'd been feeding treats to!"

"Sounds like you've had a fun day," you tell her, as you look at the sky and realize how late it is.

"It's been great," she tells you, snuggling against you, "looks like you had a good day, too. Everyone's been tiptoeing on this side of the castle. You must have been exhausted."

"Guess I was," you say, "seems like they managed to not burn the place down."

Melon laughs.

"Uncle John almost did," she says, "but it was just a card trick."

A card trick with fire? You probably don't want to know.

"It's almost time for dinner," Melon tells you, standing up and letting her ears pop out. Ok, those are really cute.

So you stand up and follow her inside. You didn't reach enlightenment, but at least you're well rested.

And Melon's certainly enjoying this family trip.

You realize all too quickly that you're going to need that rest as you step into the main hall. Someone's brought up a second table to expand the table on the dais, and there are a number of rather important-looking folks seated at it with your 'family'.

That does not look like a fun discussion.

>Sit down and ask Liska what's going on, in a whisper
>Sit down and ask the table what's going on
>Cruise the low tables - whatever's going on up there isn't your business
>Sit down as if nothing's going on
>WRITE IN
>>
Guys you forgot something
>[X] Touch Fluffy Tail
>>
>>2699436
>>2699450
>>2699452
>>2699453

I actually meant touching her ears.

Jesus dudes. She said they were *sensitive* take a hint.
>>
>>2699489
>Sit down and watch the conversation play out.
>Ask Liska what's going on if we still can't decipher what's going on
>>
>>2699472
I mean, Trumps the only one I know who said he would fuck his daughter so . . .

>>2699489

>Sit down and ask the table what's going on

Time to Gaijin Smash the conversation.
>>
>>2699489
>Sit down and ask Liska what's going on, in a whisper
>Tell Liska that we might need to chat with Miss Hamasaki about the rats since we think she clearly has a different picture of what they're like.
>Drunkenly sing Stand by Me to Liska at some point afterwards before we go to sleep
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwZNL7QVJjE
>>
>>2699511
There's nothing to go on when we got nothing to describe what would be considered a "Trump and Ivanka stuff there" in your original post m8.
>>
>>2699489
>Sit down and ask Liska what's going on, in a whisper
>>
>>2699513
16:38 - 16:50 Voting period or so.

Great, one vote apiece for three incompatible votes.

>>2699490
>>[X] Touch Fluffy Tail
I'm calling "you're my DAD, dad!" on that one.
>>
>>2699552
I think he met Liska.

At a meal in front of her family. So not tons better.
>>
>>2699552
Such is life in the zone.
>>
>>2699489
>Sit down and ask Liska what's going on, in a whisper
>>
>>2699511
Being sensitive doesn't mean she gets a sexual reaction from it, you pervert. You don't orgasm when you are in a dark room and suddenly someone turns on the light.
>>
>>2699578
I personally thought she meant it as if they were ticklish.
>>
>>2699583
in my case i tought that she found the experience somewhat hurtful, like when your arm goes super numb and it hurts when you try to move it or touch it.
>>
>>2699511
>Be sensitive
>Think sexual right away.

Did you ever fucking get tickled before?
>>
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>>2699511
Think of it like getting an itch you can't reach scratched, it's really nice it's not sexual in any way.
>>
>>2699578
I've seen too many anime foxgirls act like it's more than just "sensation".
>>
>>2699489
You sit down at the table, almost unnoticed by the other participants.

Ok, you can't follow the conversation, but it's a heated debate between some old Japanese dudes and Sachio, with the shrine maiden playing some sort of interference. Kelly slips in a couple of laconic remarks, but you're really not sure what they're talking about. John's leaning back, smiling, and whenever he opens his mouth, you can see veins throb on rather dignified-looking temples.

You lean into Liska.

"What's going on?" you whisper in her ear.

"It's about getting the government in to help with the flood recovery," she whispers, "while hiding the fact that this castle is basically a functioning feudal dynasty of youkai, and that, uh, mom caused the flood. And negotiating a treaty between the castle and the town and the local goddess, and what connections of the old head's," she says, nodding at the fox head nailed to the wall behind Sachio, "we can safely leverage. It's complicated."

Yeah, that sounds complicated, all right.

"Wow," you mutter.

"It gets better," Liska whispers, "nobody knows if the portions of the government that know about or respect the supernatural were in bed with dad. So if they roll in, they might take Sachio out in revenge. And after seeing that flood, you have a pretty good idea how well that's going to go with mom."

"THERE'S AN EASY SOLUTION," you hear inside your head.

Oh no. You know what the Thousand Year Blade's going to say.

"MARCH ON EDO!" it says, right on cue, "TAKE THE SHOGUNATE! KIDNAP THE EMPEROR! PUT THE OFFICIALS IN THEIR PLACE! THE OTHER OFFICIALS, NOT YOU."

"I'll take it under advisement," you think at the sword.

"So it's a clusterfuck," you whisper back at Liska, "where we go from one act of god to a supernatural war in a heartbeat. Depending on what the old man's connections are."

"Basically," your wife whispers to you, "Kelly's offering to take responsibility for the hit, if he gets on a flight out before they tell anyone. John's offering to bankroll the rebuilding effort, but nobody wants to owe him the favor, and the guys from the town think him showing up right now is some plot of Sachio's."

"And that's assuming none of the neighboring youkai decide this is a power vacuum," she finishes.

Fuck.

>I heard there was dinner, and I'm hungry (settle into normal conversation with WRITE IN)
>We're taking Edo, I mean Tokyo. And we're taking it tomorrow.
>We can work this out - Sachio, your dad had files, right? Blackmail list. He's gotta have a thousand years of dirt on everyone.
>Hamasaki, any chance we can play this totally normal when the government shows up?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2699647
>We're taking Edo, I mean Tokyo. And we're taking it tomorrow
The sword is making more and more sense as these threads go on
>>
>>2699647
>We're taking Edo, I mean Tokyo. And we're taking it tomorrow.

WE MUST DO IT FOR THE FAMILY!
>>
>>2699647
>We're taking Edo, I mean Tokyo. And we're taking it tomorrow.

This sounds like a stupid plan and yes I kinda want to see how it goes.
>>
>>2699647
>>I heard there was dinner, and I'm hungry (settle into normal conversation with SUE AND MELON)

Godammit you faggots. taking tokio doesn't help in the slightest and might even force a reset
>>
>>2699647
>Unironically invading Japan for America
AMERICA FYCK YEAH
>>
>>2699662
17:25 - 17:40ish voting period.

God help me, are we actually doing this?

>>2699511
>>2699578
>>2699592
>>2699625
>>2699639
Liska's comments the first time the MC touched Melon's ears made some implications about what 'sensitive' means. Looks like the MC didn't quite get it.
>>
>>2699647
>Honey I think I need more booze. The sword is beginning to make perfect sense to me.
>>
>>2699683
I'll second this
>>2699647
>>
>>2699647
I want to, if possible, anti-vote for the 'take over japan' thing.
>>
>>2699647
>We're taking Edo, I mean Tokyo. And we're taking it tomorrow.

>>2699680
Never post an option you’re not willing to write, Boss.
>>
>>2699647
>>Hamasaki, any chance we can play this totally normal when the government shows up?
>>
>>2699647
>The best bet is to always follow the money. Fortunately there seems to be an accountant right here.
>>
>>2699680
you wrote yourself into it, again.
>>
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>>2699692
>Never post an option you’re not willing to write, Boss.
I don't.
>>
>>2699676
We take em over with financial accountant power. The Tokyo cannot afford to let it be known they were under the thumb of a war criminal responsible for nanking this whole time!
>>
>>2699707
>>2699715
Listen, while I want to say that those voting to actually listen to the sword is retarded and to ask them nicely to stop being retarded, if our father in law was in some way controlling japan from the shadows, the least we can do is cement our brother in laws place at the head of the table because it's going to turn into game of thrones.
>>
>>2699719
I was trying to steer them a little but off of the crazy train via actually remembering what our damn job and expertise is.
>>
>>2699726
we can't go managing an entire country when we already have enough on our plate with the coming apocalypse and everything at home, this is retarded, they need to stop being retarded.
>>
>>2699647
>Write-in
Slam your hand in table to get the attention of everyone
>I swear to God if I don't hear a fucking consensus between you two I fucking know two nukes aren't enough but I will SEND my sister to level a fucking city so you fucking go ahead a make a deal where everyone fucking gets it got it?

Magical Mafia don mode:ON
>>
>>2699728
Grandpa should have given the children some civics lessons. We just need to establish what the (financial) routes of power were so that the brothers can handle the rest.
>>
>>2699729
Oh yeah if they don't listen to reason
>Invade Tokyo put John as new prime minister, Haru as JSDF and Sachio on Japanese Diet
>>
>>2699731
Exactly I'm fine with this being the 'listen to the sword' deal we can only offer advice and support to our brother in law we cannot get personally involved, we already have a dragon at home and a coming apocalypse, we don't have time or energy to deal with this stupidity.

Speaking of energy we still have contracts of several magical girls we need to deal with, too much on the plate and they're saying 'it's not enough'
>>
>>2699647
>The best bet is to always follow the money. Fortunately there seems to be an accountant right here.
>>
>>2699735
Probably a bad idea. The prime minister of japan apparently changes all the time. I presume that means the old one has been killed and replaced by a shapeshifter that relinquishes power to the guy that killed the actual PM.
>>
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>>2699647
"Someone translate for me," you say, standing up. Liska looks up at you, with a look you remember well.

It's the same look she had before she got about twenty people, mostly teenagers, 'blitzed like Poland' in your backyard.

The rest of the folks seated at the table look a little startled, but half of them volunteer to translate for you. You guess that at least a couple of the guys from the town know English, but they're not letting on.

Just have to keep whatever edge they can get, huh?

"I believe there is historical precedent for what I am about to suggest," you say, and wait for Hamasaki to translate.

"Given the danger posed by the current government to us, to our family land, and to the rightful order of things under heaven," you say, and Hamasaki translates. A little slower this time. As if she can't believe where she thinks you're going with this.

"We will march on Edo, I mean Tokyo," you continue, "we will depose the shogun, I mean the prime minister, kidnap the emperor, and create a better government where humans and the supernatural live in peace together!"

Ok, those two guys definitely know English. You can see their eyes go wide halfway through your sentence, along with the other English-speaking members of your family. Everyone else's do after the translation.

Sachio looks like he's been slapped in the face with a fish. John's grin is in danger of splitting his head in half.

Seems like the lower tables aren't listening. That might be best.

"NOW THIS IS MORE LIKE IT!" you hear the sword inside your skull, "GO ON AND GIVE YOUR MARCHING ORDERS, EVEN IF MOST OF YOUR ARMY IS PEASANTS!"

"You have got to be fucking with me," Haru says, after the shock wears off.

>Of course I'm fucking with you - but if you guys can't find an option you like, remember that there's a worse one waiting in the wings.
>Of course I'm fucking with you - Sachio, if we're going to make it out of this, I need your dad's files. I follow the money for a living.
>Of course I'm fucking with you - but I'm not going to sit here while you talk in circles about five different problems instead of tackling them one at a time.
>I'm serious. And we can do it - once I call my forces in.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2699647
>>We can work this out - Sachio, your dad had files, right? Blackmail list. He's gotta have a thousand years of dirt on everyone.
He should have some
Point out that it exists and if we cant find it fast enough we.
>>We're taking Edo, I mean Tokyo. And we're taking it tomorrow.
>>
>>2699774
>>Of course I'm fucking with you - Sachio, if we're going to make it out of this, I need your dad's files. I follow the money for a living.
>>
>>2699774
>Of course I'm fucking with you - but if you guys can't find an option you like, remember that there's a worse one waiting in the wings.
>>
>>2699784
Actually changing to this I can get behind doing some account wizardry
>>
>>2699774
>>2699774
>>Of course I'm fucking with you - but if you guys can't find an option you like, remember that there's a worse one waiting in the wings.
>>Of course I'm fucking with you - Sachio, if we're going to make it out of this, I need your dad's files. I follow the money for a living.
>>Of course I'm fucking with you - but I'm not going to sit here while you talk in circles about five different problems instead of tackling them one at a time.
Pretty sure all three of these can apply since we will just work overtime to follow the money quickly. And the first and third are kinda them same.
>>
>>2699774
>Of course I'm fucking with you - but I'm not going to sit here while you talk in circles about five different problems instead of tackling them one at a time.
>Sachio, if we're going to make it out of this, I need your dad's files. I follow the money for a living.

We can always go for the emperor if we get nothing, I guess.
>>
>>2699774
>Of course I'm fucking with you - but I'm not going to sit here while you talk in circles about five different problems instead of tackling them one at a time.
>Sachio, if we're going to make it out of this, I need your dad's files. I follow the money for a living.
>>
>>2699774
>Of course I'm fucking with you - Sachio, if we're going to make it out of this, I need your dad's files. I follow the money for a living. Somebody who actually knows local politics to help me figure out if a transaction is a big deal would help out a bit.
If that doesn't work then you can always listen to the sword's advice and try to march on Tokyo since it's better than the alternatives you were worrying about.
>>
>>2699774
>Of course I'm fucking with you - Sachio, if we're going to make it out of this, I need your dad's files. I follow the money for a living.
>Of course I'm fucking with you - but I'm not going to sit here while you talk in circles about five different problems instead of tackling them one at a time.
A combo of these two, not necessarily in this order.
>>
>>2699800
Look alive
>Bernie can have his expansion in Japan (he really like Japanese Schoolboys for some reason
>Mary will go to her pilgrimage of Mahou Shoujo
>Sue likes Japan
>Karen probably is a weaboo
>T.T. is also a weaboo
>tfw the only obstacle we cant take over is the entertainment industry where the Artist, Entertainers and VA are protected by a union of Magical Girls, Supernatural Entities and their boss is Cutethulthu who goes Kya Kya desut'ng or that loli Nyarly-chan
>>
>>2699774
>Of course I'm fucking with you - Sachio, if we're going to make it out of this, I need your dad's files. I follow the money for a living.
An open coup is last resort
I really hope there's we have to resort to it
>>
>>2699800
this person has my vote
>>
>>2699774
>I'm serious. And we can do it - once I call my forces in.
>>
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>>2699774
"Of course I'm fucking with you," you say, and hear some sighs of relief. You hear a second round once the shrine maiden finishes translating.

"But I'm not going to sit around while you go in circles on five different problems at once," you tell them, "if you can't find a good solution, remember what the worst one is."

Then you sit down, as Hamasaki translates through your statement.

You get an odd variety of looks. One of the old guys on the other side of the table looks almost... disappointed?

"Sachio," you say, "if we're going to make it out of this, I need your dad's files. I follow the money for a living. And if we can't get square with the outside world, it doesn't matter how we work things out here."

"Sure," he says, still in shock from the earlier announcement, "shall we adjourn to the tunnels?" he asks the table, and then repeats himself (and probably part of your statement) in Japanese.

There's a bit of argument, but son enough, everyone from the high table is walking down into what you're guessing is a World War Two era bunker complex under the castle.

"Were you serious about all that?" Liska whispers, brushing up against you.

"Maybe," you whisper back, "or maybe I need to drink enough that the sword doesn't make sense."

"I've got just the thing," she says, winking at you and nodding down at her hands.

Wait, did she grab all those bottles on the way out of the main hall?

And she's got that grin again.

There are vaults of documents down here. And while you can follow the money, you can't follow Japanese to save your life.

Luckily, there are people who can. It's rather a free-for-all, though. This guy knew about all the skeletons, in all the closets, for a thousand years.

Who they were, why they were in the closet, who to call about their grandfather's sins, the whole nine yards. Following the money isn't even necessary half the time.

And you get the feeling he only kept the documents on the most interesting or useful skeletons...

Hours (and a few bottles) later, the old man who looked disappointed about you not going through on the potential coup is telling you, with broken English and some help from Hamasaki about how he used to be in the Diet, but his party stabbed him in the back, and how he could ruin half the cabinet with this stuff.

You can't pretend to understand Japanese politics, but you get the impression that if a journalist got into this place, there would be some interesting and possibly catastrophic changes.

"IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SIMPLER TO MARCH ON EDO," the sword says into your mind, "RATHER THAN FIGHT THIS WAR OF SCRIBES."

But the important part is that you seem to have the strings of a lot of potential puppets here. A lot of rather important puppets.

>I'm going to say it once - we're using this stuff to make sure we stay safe, not to further our agendas
>Sachio, how do you feel about journalists and historians?
>I think we're covered. And we have a dinner to eat.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2699937
>>I'm going to say it once - we're using this stuff to make sure we stay safe, not to further our agendas
>>
>>2699937
>I'm going to say it once - we're using this stuff to make sure we stay safe, not to further our agendas
>I think we're covered. And we have a dinner to eat.
Food and drink. But focus on FOOD.
>>
>>2699937
>You have two general options.
>You can let them know that we figured out their secrets that the old head figured out and we are capable of using them. Or we let some journalists and historians have the greatest moment of their careers and use that as way to expand your power if you feel like it or just to send a message that you guys aren't a soft target.
We aren't the head of this castle. Sachio is and we shouldn't be making that decision for him. We'd probably have to catch a plane before the power struggles are finished anyway.
>>
>>2699937
>I think we're covered. And we have a dinner to eat
>>
>>2699937
>I think we're c>Sachio, how do you feel about journalists and historians?
>>
>>2699937
>I'm going to say it once - we're using this stuff to make sure we stay safe, not to further our agendas
>WRITE IN
"Sometimes the simpler solution isn't always the best solution."
>>
>>2699937
>>2699963
second
>>
>>2699937
>I think we're covered. And we have a dinner to eat.
> We can focus on finding stability dirst and then deciding what to do.
>>
>>2699963
Supporting too i mean we already have too much in our plate
>>
>>2699680
What I don't get is all the people who think tickling a teenager isn't sexual.

Like.

Naw man, that shit's weird and easily becomes sexual. It leads to sex a lot. But where do I think I am, I guess.
>>
>>2699963
>>2699937
Yeah, we arent MacArthur

We should definitely get a lucky charm or treasure to help us invade hell.

We should also put out an open invite if anyone wants to invade hell with us.
>>
>>2699937
>>2699963
Supporting this
>>
>>2700030
I was giving you the benefit of the doubt but it's pretty clear that you're a pervert.
>>
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>>2699937
"Sometimes," you think at the sword, "the simplest solution isn't the best one. We can't kill the entire JSDF."

"WE PROBABLY COULD KILL ENOUGH TO MAKE THEM THINK TWICE."

"I think we're covered," you say to the room in general, "this place would be a field day for anybody with a newspaper."

You're hungry. And judging by the way everyone starts going back upstairs, you're not the only one.

"Sachio," you say, pulling him aside as the rest file out, "you've got a few options with this stuff. You let a few important people know, very subtly, you've got your dad's blackmail list, and you can use it. That should be enough to keep this place safe."

"And door number two?" he mutters at you.

"Use it smartly and become the next emperor or prime minister?" you tell him, "or let some journalists and historians have the best moment of their careers. I'm only going to say it once, but I recommend just using it to make sure we stay safe, not further anyone's agenda."

Wait, when did you start using 'us' to refer to the townspeople of the valley and Sachio's little kingdom of youkai?

"I'll think about it," he tells you, as the two of you walk back through the tunnels, then whispers, "that was... rather a lot to take in back there. Not sure I'm cut out to be a spider in the middle of that kind of web, honestly, not my style."

That's a little bit of an understatement, you think, as the two of you walk back into the main hall.

"So now that's over," Sachio says, addressing the high table at large, "we've got a dinner to eat. And I think we were going to discuss some sort of agreement between us and the townspeople, and how we're going to pretend everything's normal when the government shows up, with the help of some judicious blackmail."

Then he repeats himself in Japanese.

If you keep hanging out with these people, you are really going to have to learn that language. But you hope you don't have to.

If you never come back to Japan, your return will be far too soon.

Well, at least the food's good, you think, beginning to eat as the discussion between the youkai lord and the townspeople gets going again. It seems a lot less desperate this time.

>Get a play by play from somebody
>Just eat and go to bed
>Talk to [WRITE IN SOMEBODY AT THE TABLE] I'm not teleporting anyone else in for you this time.
>Check in with Freebles on how things are on the home front
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2700058
>>Get a play by play from somebody
Wife.
>>
>>2700058

>Get a play by play from somebody
>>
>>2700058
>Get a play by play from somebody

They better channel their best John Madden impression while doing it.
>>
>>2700049
Oh yeah, definitely. That's why I can recognize when things are inappropriate like the ear touching.

You guys didn't pay attention to how it was recieved.

>>2700058
> >Talk to [WRITE IN SOMEBODY AT THE TABLE]

Invite that Dude who wanted to invade Edo to invade Hell with us.
>>
>>2700078

> >Talk to [WRITE IN SOMEBODY AT THE TABLE]

Invite that Dude who wanted to invade Edo to invade Hell with us.
>>
>>2700058
>Bring up Freebles and ask Rei- Hamasaki what exactly what she thinks he is.The love and justice thing she and the rats say seems in stark contrast to the actual contracts given. Ask for her to make sure Sue doesn't get into some cultural obligation clusterfuck with the tengu. (Sue might be wary of contracts by now, but that doesn't mean she knows what might be considered a binding contract to something that isn't a rat)
>Drink a little too much and serenade the wife with a love song.
>>
>>2700058
>Just eat and go to bed
>>
>>2700085
I feel bad for the sword, to think it was fonally going to get to march on Edo but then to be denied.
>>
>>2700089
>>2700058
I'll back this one. It should be informative!

We might not like what we learn, but that's what makes it fun!
>>
>>2700058
>Write-in
>There is a DDR machine somewhere go Challenge Kelly
>Drag Haru and Liska and have a couple double dance
>>
>>2700098
I've been kinda wondering why other anons weren't bringing this up with her. Her job is literally what our home city needed to prevent the rats from running amok making the types of contracts that they make. She's the closest thing to a supernatural judge/cop/Dredd in this situation and. as loathe as we probably are to get a little girl involved in this, she might actually be the one we're supposed to call when something's strange is in the neighborhood.
>>
>>2700105
Maybe that's why they're in America now.
>>
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[META POST]
I'm continuing the thread, but I just took a shower, so the next post will be a bit slow.


I forgot to link the archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Shotgun

Looks like that problem with the last thread solved itself.

This thing needs to be updated for the most recent arc, and some technical details that have been revealed, but it's what I've got for an info sheet: https://pastebin.com/Ci70z8w1

And now, the Questions Nobody Asked Corner:

Why is Reiya Hamasaki (the shrine maiden) the 'default' translator for a lot of the recent scenes? Because she's the most neutral person between Sachio's group, your group, and the townspeople, if not actively favoring the townspeople. Hearing her version of what you're saying is somewhat more credible for them than hearing it from the other bilingual folks at the table.

Why does the MC keep thinking of her as "Rei- Hamasaki"? Because he's been trying to get the 'address her by her surname' thing straight in his head. He's been getting better about it as time goes on.

Could we really have marched on Edo/Tokyo? Yes. It would have basically blown the scope of the quest wide open, and eclipsed a lot of things, but I would have written it. Glad I didn't have to write Attack On Tokyo Quest, though. Also, the Japanese imperial family is supposed to have divine descent, and this is a setting where that's possibly a real thing, so old Akihito might not have been a pushover...

Why are you doing [X]? Because it amuses me.
>>
>>2700121
Prettymuch. Seems like somebody needs to be tutored on this stuff and set up shop although at this point it's probably like trying to stop drugs in columbia.
>>
>>2700126
Bernie managed to carve a niche out for himself and the city as a netural zone. Maybe hooking Reiya up with him is what we need to help take it national.
>>
>>2700124
Nah, somebody mentioned earlier that the emperor had to admit not being divine after WWII instead of the emperor had to claim he wasn't divine. It's an important distinction. The (remaining) imperial treasures on the other hand would probably be real.
>>
>>2700130
Melon's a half and half. She might work as a shrine maiden in training thanks to that theoretical neutrality to sort out the stuff in the US after the quest is over.
>>
>>2700153
On the other hand, she's the daughter of the Shotgun Shogun. That miiiiight carry it's own baggage.

What other titles do you think we've picked up by this point?
>>
>>2700157
Breaker of The Three Sons,Matador of the Minotaur,Seedmaker of the Idoru.
>>
Is there an archive for this?
>>
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>>2700058
"So," you say to Liska, "want to give a play-by-play?"

She smiles at you as you take a bite.

"The away team opened the half with a nonaggression proposal," she says, "the good old 'don't eat our kids' play. But the home team's pulling out a different playbook, and ran the ball twenty yards past startled defenders with a 'live in harmony' gambit, echoing their success earlier in the game with the 'flood mitigation plan' drive."

You just had to use sports words to ask for a translation, didn't you?

Hamasaki pulls out a book, most of which looks handwritten, and cuts into the discussion.

"Ooh," Liska continues, "ref on the field, ten face penalty for the home team! They were intimidated into helping with the refugees. But she's pulling out a 'history lecture', on the field, wait," Liska asks you suddenly, "can refs make their own plays?"

"I don't think so," you tell her, "but I doubt they're playing NFL rules."

And you're definitely not in kansas anymore.

"The ref's unexpected intervention puts the ball solidly back with the home team," Liska says, "a timely 'you've been worshipping their mother for a thousand years' scores them a, uh what down is it again?"

"I don't know and I think the gag's getting old," you say, taking another bite.

"That's a 'our tanuki have been drinking in your bars since you were kids' solidly into the endzone!" Liska finishes triumphantly, "they're still debating the technicalities of jurisdiction and how laws get applied to the two sides, but I'm pretty sure the police chief is absolutely sold on having supernatural help with anything crazy that comes up, and it's just details now. Sachio's at least getting out of this with being the heir to an eccentric family living in that castle on the mountain, instead of being a bedtime scare for naughty children."

Well, that seems to be a step forward, you think, but wait, aren't the cops supposed to be demons or something?

Hamasaki walks over as the discussion between the kitsune brothers and the town elders gets more friendly. Even Haru's smiling, as he makes a theatrical gesture and the others laugh.

"I believe I should thank you for this," the shrine maiden says, "may I sit over here? They have begun telling stories."

And judging by the look on Liska's face, and some of her giggles, the anecdotes have gotten a bit off-color.

"Sure," you tell her, and she takes a seat on the floor next to you.

>You holding up ok?
>I'd like you to meet my bro Freebles, and we've got some questions. Also, do you know what he is?
>Uh, I don't know how to put this politely, but demon cops?
>Think Sue's going to get into any contractual trouble if she takes that tengu up on his offer?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2700217
>You holding up ok?
>Think Sue's going to get into any contractual trouble if she takes that tengu up on his offer?
>I'd like you to meet my bro Freebles, and we've got some questions. Also, do you know what he is?
This looks good to me.
>>
>>2700216
>archive
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Shotgun
It's linked in >>2700124 too. Someone messed up on a chapter, so 'Shotgun' is the only tag that works.

>>2700131
Let's be honest - had you guys really decided to Monster Movie Edo/Tokyo, I was not going to let historical inaccuracy stop me from throwing a divine emperor at you.
>>
>>2700229
Thanks!
>>
>>2699366
Did she just lick our face?
>>
>>2700241
Yes
>>
>>2700217
>I'd like you to meet my bro Freebles, and we've got some questions. Also, do you know what he is?
>>
>>2700225
Supporting.
>>
>>2700229
I wasn't talking about historical inaccuracy. I meant a character in your story who would know if he was divine specifically said that. Sealed the lid pretty tight on a divine emperor.


>>2700217
>Ask if sue has any weird (possibly contractual) obligations if she takes that tengu up on it's offer.
>I'd like you to meet my bro Freebles, and we've got some questions. Also, do you know what he is?

>>2700121
I did some thinking and after considering a bunch of the basic myths and traditions still going around I think the US is the only one that really has lost their equivalent of whatever Reimu is.
Africa still has witch doctors(those roughly translate into paladins in the west) and every other area besides the continental US (and maybe china) takes their supernatural shit seriously on some level. I'd guess it ties into the genocide of the native americans leaving a bit of a vacuum.
>>
>>2700225
Supporting
>>
>>2700245
K
>>
>>2700264
Also the fact that it's not real and while it's the worlds oldest government American culture never really developed the kind of superstition that doesn't get eclipsed by things like going to the moon, or world wars using industrial production to field massive amounts of destruction. I mean, where do you think Americans came from anyways. They originally had all the superstitions. Don't idealize the natives with that hippy benevolent savage BS. They did just as much empire building and genocide as other places.

Of course in game it's probably a conspiracy.
>>
>>2700285
Uh.. you're reading into things a bit much. Like I'm almost genuinely concerned for you. I can't even call it projection.

America does have cultures and superstitions but they do not have any unified cores of protection and the "supernatural police" probably stayed back home because that's where the creatures they made deals with live. America is a melting pot and that melting pot includes the supernatural.

eg Some Irishman's ancestral deal with faeries doesn't mean jack shit if the faeries are thousands of miles away and knowing how to deal with the ones he lived with doesn't prep him for some indonesian homosexual rape ogre with a 2 foot long cock. (that's a thing)
>>
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>>2700217
"You holding up ok?" you ask Hamasaki.

"I am tired, but I will be fine," she tells you, "I was not exactly trained for something of this nature."

"None of us really were," you say, "but we'll manage. You might know some stuff I don't - is Sue going to get into trouble if she takes that tengu up on his offer?"

"This is not Black Bird," she tells you with an all too straight face, and you can hear Liska giggle behind you.

"I meant contractual trouble," you say with a sigh, "I know some folks who've gotten some really bad deals from the supernatural."

"It would not be like that," Hamasaki says, "it would be like a teacher and a student. That tengu practices the art of the sword, and nothing mystical beyond it."

That's good news at least.

Speaking of bad contracts...

"I'd like you to meet my bro Freebles," you say, and the ferret pops out of your pocket. He's been sleeping there for a while. Apparently, teleporting across the world takes it out of you, particularly if you're pulling other people along.

The ferret bows, and gives what you assume is some sort of polite greeting, which the shrine maiden returns. You could swear you saw him start to reach for a business card, but he catches himself.

Old habits die hard.

"Why do you," Hamasaki asks, switching back to English, "I am being impolite, but I have been wondering why you have yakuza tattoos?"

"Sign of loyalty to my bro here," Freebles says, giving you a playful punch in the arm with his paw.

"Do you know what he is?" you ask her, although she still seems puzzled by his response.

She stares at him for a minute, then reaches out toward his head, stopping with her hand out an inch from it, as if waiting for permission.

Freebles nods, and then the shrine maiden starts petting him.

"I do not know," she tells you, still stroking the ferret, "but he is not from here. Not like," she glances around, taking in the other supernatural creatures and humans in the room, "them. Us."

>Not from here? Like what I call demons?
>Then where is he from?
>Have you met anything like him before?
>You said you weren't trained for this?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2700217
>>I'd like you to meet my bro Freebles, and we've got some questions. Also, do you know what he is?
>>Uh, I don't know how to put this politely, but demon cops?
>>Think Sue's going to get into any contractual trouble if she takes that tengu up on his offer?
>>2700217
>>
>>2700310
>>2700285
I could probably phrase my point better.
Who do you go to in America if you think that there are demons, werewolves, or other crazy shit going around? Your most well known general option is a televangelist and those guys are obviously full of shit.
Other places around the world will have some priest/priestess in a nearby village you can turn to or traditions telling you what shit you're in or even an organized religion. America has your best shot being the MIB not killing you to cover things up.
>>
>>2700319
>Then where is he from?
>Have you met anything like him before?

Let's get the basics out of the way first.
>>
>>2700332
Yeah, America gained all the supernatural creatures, but none of the organization and core traditions of anywhere else. The typical american doesn't think of elves or fairies as Fae, for example, and don't know how you're to conduct yourself around them. They don't know anything about vampires or werewolves besides the movies. They don't know about the native beasts either. It's just a big mixed up pot of madness, with none of the order.
>>
>>2700319
>Then where is he from? He told me he was a japanese businessman in his past life so I figured he roughly fit into something you might have been taught about.
>Have you met anything like him before?
>Freebles, Did your death have anything to do with how you became... like this?
>>
>>2700342
Supporting, along with
>do you know any other equivilant existing of your job in america/other countries?
>>
>>2700332
Yeah I wasn't disagreeing with that.

It was your reasoning as to "why" the lost the superstitions from their homeland.

Thise superstitions are part of an identity that their home cultures had that didn't get recreated in America. You can see American Tall Tales develop with supernatural creatures, but most of it simply never sank in as the culture and society grew alongside technology.

Sure there were fad movements like the whole Age of Aquarius thing and wmthe Satanic Panic of the 90s, but not much of the bred in the bone you see elsewhere that continues on in large part because that's what people have simply always done.

I'm not sure where you get the "projection" part from, because I think you misunderstood my post quite badly.

It's funny you mention the MIB because conspiracy theories are pretty much US superstitions. The supernatural aspect is the only thing missing, just replace it with aliens or nazi space technology or whatever.
>>
>>2700310
Also reminder, those things don't actually exist so you know. There's no actual reinforcement except for cultural explanations for things.
>>
>>2700344
> Vampires and Werewolves are lies made up to hide the actions of the lizard people!

American superstitions, right there.

>>2700319
> He says he was originally Japanese though. Do you mean he didn't come from this Japan?
>>
>>2700319

>Not from here? Like what I call demons?
>>
>>2700353
I think another piece of the puzzle here from a cultural/folklore perspective is that the colonizers/settlers in America were, for the most part, already Christianized, and Christianity does not play nice with supernatural creatures, unless they're too traditional to root out. (Leaving milk out for the fae/brownies/etc., for instance.) Added to that, there's a lot of influence from particular Christian traditions where you are your own mediator with the supernatural (most Protestant traditions go for that), which ties into the philosophical individualism that underlies a lot of American stuff.

This is how you get stories like The Devil And Dan'l Webster, where a folk hero (secular) lawyer argues a man's case with the devil.

That's my two cents on the American superstition thing.
>>
>>2700361

ILLUMANIT
>>
>>2700350

LN title would be

> I accidentally worked with the Mi-Go and when I found out they killed my body and put my soul in a Ferret body that needed to be fueled by sacrificing magical girls while saving the world, but they charge me so much for using the body that I can't ever pay them back so I started a rebellion with this dude with a shotgun

Next Isekai twist right there, I was Reborn as a Contractor is the manga title.
>>
>>2700367
Yeah, it's usually a conflux of events and not any one single cause.
>>
>>2700353
Those are the modern superstitions.

There are plenty of general supernatural ones i've heard/read about that never really involve going to an "expert" as much as the person themselves outwitting the target with their knowledge, knowing to GTFO (Wait till Martin comes), article entries (eg stories about the hide-behind but no actual detail on how to deal with it),or the person losing even after they outwitted the supernatural Eg Jack scratch being denied entrance to both heaven and hell as a result of his "victory".

American superstition is basically that you're on your own.
>>
...Oh god, I just had a thought. /x/ is the magical authority for America, isn't it?
>>
>>2700396
SCP would probably do a better job than whatever might actually be there.
>>
>>2700396
Then they really need to stop trying to summon demons to get laid and become proper wizards.
>>
/x/, the SCP database, and Creepypasta, all being legitimate supernatural authorities for North america... My god.
>>
>>2700407
It's an ominous thing to consider isn't it?
>>
>>2700407
Lovecraft.
>>
>>2700407
Also all three of those have gone to shit more than anything else.

> Implying they were ever good.

Gag. Then again most superstitions are even worse, so there's that.
>>
>>2700416
It is, it very much is... Wait. Wizards of the Coast? Don't tell me that they're legit wizards in this world!
>>2700417
Good lord. I imagine that the Outer Gods don't really have "authorities" against them, so much as scattered madmen and "experts" working against them.
>>
>>2700431
I'm pretty sure that one is just a fluke
Gary Gygax is infact a Wizard who chose to fake his death to become a Lich
>>
>>2700319
"Then where is he from?" you ask her, and then look at the ferret, who's climbed into her lap, "and didn't you say you were a Japanese salaryman in a past life, bro?"

"A past life?" Hamasaki asks, as if a lightbulb's going off in her head, "and he claims to have been from here then. How much do you remember?" she asks Freebles.

"A little," he tells her, "not too much. Just working in an office all day. And what I do know is fuzzy. I woke up and I was a rat and they gave me a mission."

"I thought he might fit something you knew about," you say, "if only because of his connection here."

"This is a land of many gods," the shrine maiden tells you, "and many things can happen after death. It almost sounds as if your brother made it some of the way through a cycle of rebirth as the buddhists believe. Although perhaps there was a mistake - he should not remember anything. I do not know that faith as well as I should."

This has officially gotten too weird. You know Hell exists, there might be a heaven, these people believe ancestral spirits hang around, there's a samurai spirit trapped in your sword, and now there's also some wheel of rebirth that might be processing dead folks into rats or something? And it might be malfunctioning?

Is the first thing people see when they die actually a bunch of supernatural entities having a tug of war over their soul?

Well, there's one way to find out, but you think everyone would take a pretty dim view of you offing yourself for an experiment.

But if Hell is a real place, apparently on some other plane, and this rebirth thing is something that also happens on another plane, and dead souls travel from here to Hell (or perhaps other destinations), and things can travel to and from Hell without being dead, is there some pocket in the universe out there, like Hell, that the rats belong to?

Aagh.

"Have I said something helpful?" Hamasaki asks, "you appear to be thinking hard about it. I know little about anything beyond - I prefer to see my gods."

Yes, well, there are certainly advantages to that. And downsides, you remember, thinking about the flood. There are downsides to living with your gods.

>What do you know about things from 'other places than here'?
>Well, I think you've given me a starting point, thanks
>Freebles, do you know where you 'woke up'? And how you got here?
>Can anyone kill me temporarily? I need to check something.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2700466
>Well, I think you've given me a starting point, thanks
>What do you know about things from 'other places than here'?
>>
>>2700466
>Can anyone kill me temporarily? I need to check something.
>>
>>2700466
>>Can anyone kill me temporarily? I need to check something.
,,,,,,,,sure.....
>>
>>2700466
>Write in
I think I'm beginning to realize that at this point, every religion is either all truth or has more truth than fiction within it, and that there are several different realms, perhaps hell is a singular realm that is shared across multiple cultures, Norse hel, Christian hell, Greek Hades so on so forth...But like our world it has borders so one section is Norse hel and next door over a border is Hades.
Mind you this is me trying to make sense of how life and death work from what I've seen.
If that is true then Heaven is much in the same sense, you'd have your Muslim heaven where everyone gets virgins and next door to that is Christian heaven with angels and then next door to them is Buddhist heaven where folk gets assigned a new life and reborn...
Maybe I'm overthinking it?
>>
>>2700466
>Well, I think you've given me a starting point, thanks
>>
>>2700466
>Can anyone kill me temporarily? I need to check something.
"Or if there's less fatal ways to get my soul to leave my body temporarily, I'm all ears."
>>
>>2700466
>Freebles, do you know where you 'woke up'? And how you got here?
>Can anyone kill me temporarily? I need to check something.
Let's get this out of the way.
>>
>>2700466
Since magical girls show up in Japanese anime I'm guessing that some of them might be trying to make people less wary of them in japan.
I'd advise you to make sure young ladies like yourself know better than to accept a contract with creatures like him. His compatriots are extremely nasty with their contracts that they trick girls into agreeing with.
>Can anyone kill me temporarily without setting off the brotherhood alarm? I need to check something. (We're gonna try and call customer service on the afterlife since somebody is clearly being cheated out of souls there)
>>
>>2700502
>(We're gonna try and call customer service on the afterlife since somebody is clearly being cheated out of souls there)


so owe are basicaly sicking the afterlife's IRS on them? sounds fun
>>
>>2700502
>(We're gonna try and call customer service on the afterlife since somebody is clearly being cheated out of souls there)
Clever one Anon. I like it.
>>
>>2700367
>This is how you get stories like The Devil And Dan'l Webster, where a folk hero (secular) lawyer argues a man's case with the devil.
I'm guessing (theorizing) that one originates from a middle ages joke about Jesus summoning Moses or Jacob as his lawyer when dealing with the devil? I'll go read it at a less insane hour of the night.
>>
>>2700466
>Well, I think you've given me a starting point, thanks

We're not committing suicide here.
>>
>>2700466
"Well," you tell her, "you've given me a starting point, thanks."

"I know it is not what you are thinking of," Hamasaki says, "but there is a world almost as a... mirror? It is where the gods are when we cannot see them. But it is not really a separate place. It is around us. Difficult to explain."

That sounds familiar.

"You put one foot into it when you fought the wendigo," Liska says behind you, "with the shrooms, remember? It's a different tradition of getting there, but the same sort of thing."

Oh, right. That bad trip.

Makes sense why Liska would no about it, if her mother's hanging out there as part of her whole goddess thing.

"Thanks," the shrine maiden tells Liska, and then with a look of interest, "you said he's been there?"

You can tell without turning around that your wife is grinning.

"No, dear," you say, turning toward her, "we are not sending the girl on a shrooms trip. I know what you're thinking, and we're not doing it."

"You're no fun," Liska says.

Hamasaki looks at you with a puzzled expression, and you hope she didn't quite catch on.

Considering all the stuff that's supposed to be around in there on this island, that could be incredibly dangerous.

"Thinking out loud here," you say, "maybe there's some truth to a lot of religions. Some of the afterlives seem to exist, others might, and there might be chances of going to different ones, hmmm..."

Speaking of incredibly dangerous things, there's only one way to test the theory from earlier.

"Could somebody," you say to the table at large, "kill me temporarily? I need to check something."

Well, that's a lot of people looking at you like you've suddenly grown another head.

"I believe," Kelly Edwards finally says, breaking the silence, "that 'permanent' is sort of the POINT of death. At least in my experience."

Everyone laughs, and drifts back to their conversations.

Well, he's got a point.

"So what do you do?" the shrine maiden asks Freebles, still petting him, and he answers in Japanese.

As the fast conversation goes on (and you catch that 'mahou shoujo' phrase a few times), her expression gets gradually darker. You're guessing that nobody's signing up with a rat on her watch after this.

"There is no point in that here," she says, finally, looking back to you, "any being like that would be killed by a local god when it came in, or by..." she trails off, looking around the room at the motley collection of youkai.

The makes a lot of sense, actually.

"That must be why we only hear of mahou shoujo in a city," she says, "their gods are weaker."

...and if you know magical girls, it's entirely possible the rats have tricked them into killing a few local gods themselves.

Cheerful thought.

And that must be why those wizards picked a city to have their demon throwdown in.

>Let's wrap this up for the night
>Are you guys at the end of the table doing fine?
>You up to making sure things look normal for the government flood recovery guys?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2700543
>Lets wrap up for the night
>>
>>2700543
>Write-In
>For what is worth even if you're the same age as my daughter, you did good.
>Headpat her head
>Yes rub it more
>Hey her hair is so glossy and smooth but not really smooth as your wife
>hug her a little
>until you got dragged out by your little daughter
>>
>>2700543
>>Let's wrap this up for the night
>>
>>2700543
>Let's wrap this up for the night
>Resist urge to headpat Hamasaki until the last day we see her again.
>>
>>2700543
>>Let's wrap this up for the night
>>
>>2700543
>Didn't one of your gods visit the underworld? There's clearly a path somewhere around here.
>>
Can someone link the 4plebs archive? I thought last thread ended a LOT earlier than it apparently did.
>>
>>2700548
Support
>>
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I'm done for the night. Worldbuilding on the fly is tiring. Although I think I'm getting a pretty decent sense of how things fit together now, and put together a half-decent explanation for why rural Japan has a very different 'magical landscape' than we're used to back home.
Next runtime will be on my twitter (and I'll just keep this thread): https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

Archive link, for those who missed it: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Shotgun

Info doc (I'll need to update/rewrite this for the Japan Trip Arc. Sachio's info is particularly outdated): https://pastebin.com/Ci70z8w1

As usual, questions/comments/death threats will be answered or ignored as the whim takes me.

>>2700241
>>2700245
>>2700281
Yes.

>>2700555
I heard there's a hole in Greece somewhere, too.

>>2700557
Last thread's still up: >>2678398

Hopefully there aren't still problems with the qst archive.
>>
>>2700561
Trip to Greece and we kill Zeus when he tries to lay his *** on our daughter?
I wonder why gods get weaker in cities. Cities never stopped the greek/roman gods from doing anything.
Maybe the Japanese gods are just weaker there and it was an assumption? The american gods being weaker in cities makes a sort of sense since it's far away from their strongholds and their influence in in a pocket (eg chinatown) rather than built into the architecture of the whole thing. eg Athens is basically an entire city dedicated to Athena so she wouldn't be weakened there?
>>
>>2700543
>Thinking about wizards, T.T. and Haru might have some findings to share
now to get the two to talk without things going south...
>>
>>2700124
>I just took a shower, so the next post will be a bit slow.
I for one welcome our cold-blooded lizard OP.
>>
>>2700543
>>Let's wrap this up for the night
and >>2700555
second
Anyone notice we didnt get much of a reaction from our wife? I expected her to grab us and say no or something
>>
>>2700570
>Trip to Greece and we kill Zeus when he tries to lay his *** on our daughter?
That would be a funny plot idea. Particularly considering that the MC has done accounting work for Zeus - estimating his net work for paternity/alimony payments, IIRC.

>I wonder why gods get weaker in cities
This is an (in-universe) translation problem: the shrine maiden is talking specifically about the shinto 'kami' style gods she works with/for, like what Liska's mother has become. 'Land gods' if you will. The version I'm going with is that they're pretty tied to a location, and the natural features of the location and agriculture. High-tech modern cities are very unfriendly to beings like this. Also, Hamasaki's basically lived her life in the countryside, so she might be making some assumptions.

This type of god being weaker/gone in the cities may or may not also have something to do with the fact that many major Japanese cities got firebombed to fuck a while back.

If you want to go for the conspiracy theories pieces of this quest can create, it's entirely possible that part of the reason the USA tried so hard to not have to house-to-house the main islands is because there were beings hanging around who could actually cause localized natural disasters and would not be friendly to invaders. This may also be what happened to the attempted Mongol invasion back in the day. It's called 'divine wind' for a reason.

It might also just be something thematic about westernized modernity versus old-style agricultural life. I dunno.

This type of 'god' does not necessarily exist everywhere / in every land. This is where the MC's thoughts about how much more dangerous trying to step into the 'spirit world' would be in Japan come from, because there's a lot more stuff to run into there. He didn't run into thousands of years of ancestral ghosts when he fought the wendigo, but he might have if he'd tried it in Japan.

>Cities never stopped the greek/roman gods from doing anything.
Not every type of 'god' works the way these shinto 'kami' style do. Even in classical mythology, the Greco-Roman ones do a lot of hanging out on Olympus, and they cut way back on dealing with mortals directly after a while.

>american gods
Based on what we know so far (and some of the non-canon/thematic discussions in this thread), I'm guessing America just really isn't very friendly to gods in general. This possibly ties into why Western/American style cities and such aren't wonderfully healthy places for gods.

>>2700596
>our cold-blooded lizard OP.
Fuck, my secret's out.
>>
>>2700608
>its ok anon my mother is a dragon and my father is a chinese dragon also. And i eat spicy food like its the sweetest thing ever.
>>
>>2700608
Speaking of ww2 we know well enough what happened on the european front with werewolves and such
but what was the war like in the pacific?
>>
>>2700615
It was a hodgepodge of supernatural clashing. Lead by their own respective local gods and their believers for example one guy in the Philippines goes deep enemy lines and not a single bullet wound was found nor a history that he was taken care of a medic because he have a lucky charm that makes a bullet ricochet away from him. Apparently he was also one who led and helped the Americans to liberate the POW and dubbed the great escape.
>>
>>2700615
And yeah the locals God's are so pissed he also plauged the whole area with malaria. Too bad even the friendlies hot caught too that is why HaikuDeluge explanation about invading force friendlies or not does not take care of them.
>>
>>2700615
Lovecraft.

That's why so many war crimes were committed by the Japs, they were being led by Cultists in the Military.

Pearl Harbor was actually supposed to do double duty as a sacrifice, but they fucked up and didn't generate enough power to really bring anything powerful enough through to be able to compensate for their lack of oil.

Offended as much by this as by Japan's aping of European gov't, their own traditional gods didn't protect them this time with a Divine Wind as eventually the vivilians became an "acceptable sacrifice" with the Emperor being caught in a power struggle with the Cultists near the end. Some Land Gods did choose to ally themselves with the cultists out of opportunism or for survival, but it turns out Nukes kill the land itself.

Meanwhile Youkai in China took the chance to have their own little war for fun and profit.

Also MacArthur is a European Great Dragon who just hangs out in wars for fun. FDR was just a man, but a secret requirement to be President is to also be a Hero.

This requirement was dropped for Clinton as new gods of Money and Media made a pact with home grown Demon cults, whose human members are arguably worse than actual Demons.

9/11 was an attempt to REMOVE DEMON by Bush that was partially successful.

Obama was an attempt to go back as well, but he wasn't willing to make the sacrifice necessary and eventually tried to compromise with them.

Nobody knows what side or goal Trump has. Dude is a confusion mage and a total fucking wildcard. He's either a genius or utterly insane. Some people claim he's actually Nyarlathotep but that's probably wrong. He was clearly Kennedy though.

Trying to stay as neutral about IRL politics as possible, try not to be sensitive little snowflakes if I didn't suck your favorite presidents cock. I'm not even American so I don't give a shit about your insecurities.

Bush Sr. Was the last time there was a truly good man in the WH.
>>
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>>2700729 (You) #
> RE: Trump

This actually fits with the Schizophrenia and the Neo-Nazi shit. Remember, America was actually pretty split on domestically supporting the Nazis until it started to look like they wouldn't get their loans to the Allies paid back, and after finding the Camps well nobody wanted to be seen supporting that shit. But that's why Trump can be a Wildcard in this situation. Has to fight the literal Demons in the Government and loyalty is more important than competence for his Cabinet picks.
>>
I wonder how much of an improvement melon gets now that she could use MG abilities and (soon) youkai powers.
>>
>>2700729
This is absolutely fucking brilliant and I love it!

And this just gave me the random thought of Cuthulu or other god-tier not quite gods being, effectively, experiments by whatever became the rats. Just them seeing how much magic a human could take before they broke.

...Yes, I'm saying what if Cthulu is a proto-magical girl, and I realize how pants-on-head retarded that sounds.
>>
>>2700735
Turns out the Nazis were the good guys, trying to defeat the demons.
The concentration camps were meant as a massive sacrifice to summon Satan, and defeat him once and for all.
>>
>>2700896
>what if Cthulu is a proto-magical girl
Then she needs a hug.
>>
>>2700922
I want to do like we did with Pink, and use our purely daddliness to get past Cthulu's maddening aura to hug them.
>>
>>2700918
> Turns out the Nazis were the good guys,

No, no I don't think we can go that far at all.
>>
>>2700896
Nah, Ur-magical girls left over from the destruction of other Universes. Warped by strange aeons and inhuman of origin to start with, they're best left sleeping instesd of trying to draw their tainted powers.

But some always doooooo
>>
>>2700935
Are you a bad enough dude to hug Cthulu?

>>2700896
Or something like them being possessed by the Spirit of America.
>>
>>2700948
Yeah, sure. Next you'll say the holocaust actually happened.
>>
>>2700948
why not? every faction has its shades of grey. Maybe some of the nazis were in for the eradication of the jews, while some saw it as a necesary thing to defeat a bigger evil while others were just doing their jobs.
>>
>>2700972
> while some saw it as a necesary thing to defeat a bigger evil while others were just doing their jobs.

That was literally already the actual reasoning given for the Holocaust, and the whole reason for Nuremburg laws about following orders not excusing guilt.
>>
>>2700972
>Why not?
I had a long reply written but I'll just tell you to highlight their ID and read their posts in the thread. That should explain everything.
>>
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Well, this isn't what I expected to wake up to.

Fuck me for even opening this can of worms. I'm just trying to write some sort of rollicking urban fantasy thingummy, not the 50-page essay I'd have to set out to try and codify my thoughts on morality and World War II.
>>
>>2701163
Yeah, you kinda forgot where you were for a second and now you're paying the price...
>>
>>2701163
Just stick to the facts.
Jews did it
>>
>>2701163
Just write it all off as Lizard People.

It's easier than sifting /pol/ trolling.

Man I just wanted this to be about Presidents punching supernatural beings with American Fists.
>>
>>2701186
I've got it, the jews are the demons. They already control the media, it only makes sense
>>
I had it my head that a lot of the mass killings were used for rituals.
>>
Https://pastebin.com/erE6eBPh

I wrote a thing. Seems pretty in-character. Hope you enjoy.
>>
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>>2701368
>>
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>HaikuDeluge is alive
Holy crap. When your twitter got hacked I muted it because I assumed you were long gone. Glad to have you back, crazy as ever.
>>
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>>2701368
>>
>>2701186
>Jews did it
I hope you're joking
>>2701192
>Just write it all off as Lizard People.
I already have my "DEMONS RULE THE WORLD!" saving throw.
>>2701219
>the jews are the demons
That would be too easy.
>>2701347
That's a pretty good assumption, although we can't count out other things - humans are capable of terrible things even when not being goaded on by supernaturals.
>>2701368
No comment.

That's probably how things would go down, if they did. Well, shit, I guess one of the concubinefags went writefag on me.
>>2701377
That was a fucking weird time. I was off twitter for years, because I only used it for questing, then I came back and had to mass-delete a couple weeks of low-quality porn spam from a bot.

Pretty strange. Not really sure how they got in, and it hasn't been a problem since.

I want only high-quality porn on my twitter.
>>
>>2701368
nice
>>
>>2701368
Also reaction images aside, I think you really nailed it. Good job
>>
>>2701368
This is how you know your successful

When you get smut written about your quest
>>
>>2701368
Melon please and the reason is she rather offer her own v card to him since he could died 100 years before her. Or Mary who is super attracted to us after that we sit on that couch snowing like a boss. She always Jill herself everynight after then. Or Harriet because if she gonna die and reset might as well try it for the kicks. Or a whole MG Mary harem squad who trapped you in a inter-dimend barrier and took turns with you
Jesus I'm a fucking degenerate
>>
>>2701553
And very bad at grammar
>>
>>2701558
I'm very bad in English anon so I don't mind.
>>
So out of curiosity, how much longer are we going to be in japan? Things seem more-or-less wrapped up, and we left a bunch of teenage girls in our house.

Also, when is that demon from the first thread going to show up again?
>>
>>2701553
>offer her own v card to him
"He's my dad, me!"
>>
>>2701571
She's training to become a suitable servant to us.
The bar keeps rising, though.
>>
>>2701553
You really are.

That's what fantasies are for though I guess.

At least you're able to recognize it enough to not reveal power levels IRL.

It's just degens and edgy wanna-be degen teens here anyways.
>>
>>2700729
That sounds retarded. About the only good part was the divine wind being lost by japan.
>>
>>2701584
We're hugging cthulhu no matter what you say.
Cthulhu fhtagn.
>>
>>2700896
What if Nyarlathotep is what happens when a man signs a magical girl contract.
He is our only home-grown elder god.
>>
>>2701553
We've seen worse, some of us are worse
>>
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I guess I kind of have to continue after someone wrote their own update, so stay tuned, I guess.

>>2700615
>but what was the war like in the pacific?
Nobody wants to talk about it. I had a couple of grandfathers that were both in that theatre (the real one, not this quest), and we only figured out their service records after they died and we went through their files. They just DID NOT WANT to talk about it.

>>2700729
>MacArthur is a European Great Dragon who just hangs out in wars for fun
I actually was thinking about that as I wrote last night. I'm not sure one way or the other. Humans do crazy things too.

>>2701553
Dare ya to put any of that in red truth. Or gold truth.

>>2701583
>It's just degens and edgy wanna-be degen teens here anyways.
I feel mildly insulted.
>>
>>2701564
Now I feel bad for insulting you

You took that so cordially
>>
>>2701584
If I get one idea out of 5 paragraphs than that's still more than you. I'll take it.
>>
After realizing what I said and IF we ever make rounds on Mary MG squad I think our wife will truly leave us like the fox she is. And also that plan B.
>>
>>2701636
From what I can tell it was a lot of dirty, very dark fighting, U.S Marines and ANZAC's fighting in harsh tropical conditions against an enemy that didn't fear death, pain or hardship

Just imagine throwing supernatural shit into that mess, a lot more bad ways to go.

In respect for those who had family I won't try to throw in my thoughts on what kind of supernatural forces each side had.
>>
>>2701636
> It's just degens and . . .

I wasn't excusing myself from that. I also don't think you're really insulted so much as offended because I'm right.

The difference is being self aware of your degeneracy so that you can role play characters that aren't degenerates. In the game, and in real life.

You seem to have a good handle on that concept, but this is the 4chans and some people get so used to letting out their shit here they become like, I don't know the /r9k/ or /pol/ equivalent of gay camp behaviour.

Bunch of flaming faggots that forget how to turn it off to roleplay sometimes.

Then again, my shitposting between story posts probably shows I've been here far too long myself.
>>
>>2701676
>>2701636
>>
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>>2700543
You pat Hamasaki's head, ruffling her hair.

She looks up at you.

"Ya did good, kid," you tell her, with a final pat, "let's hope we can keep it up."

"I hope," she says, looking over at Sachio, "that we can negotiate good things for this valley."

"That's the spirit," you say, "and do your legends say there's a path into Hell around here?"

Hamasaki recoils a litte.

"If Izanagi could not sustain himself on that path," she asks, "how do you think you could?"

Well, you don't really have a good answer to that. If a god couldn't walk it, how could you?

"I'm enough of a moron," you tell the shrine maiden, "that I'd try anyway."

"Good for you," she says, "I do not know where it is. I know this valley, and I know the goddess of it, and now," she tells you looking around the room, "I know the youkai of it. I only know of a path to the afterlife through legends."

Well, that's a wash. And you trust this girl a lot more than you might someone entrenched in a monastery or larger shrine.

"Good for you," you tell her, patting her on the head, "if that's all you ever need to know."

She gives you an unusually questioning look, but decides to go back to her food.

By this point, the dinner's practically wrapped up, except for a few guys who've started singing songs, and you head off to bed (well, at least the futon-on-the-floor thing these folks call a 'bed'), snuggling into Liska.

>So did we make an improvement here?
>So how do you feel about concubines?
>So was this how you expected the 'nice little visit to the in-laws' to go?
>So what do you think about that shrine maiden?
>WRITE IN QUESTIONS FOR YOUR WIFE
>>
>>2701640
Even ignoring that I have been participating in this quest the whole time, that doesn't mean you vomiting up bad ideas is something to be thankful for.
American presidents are heroes as a requirement? Define hero. There seems to be a great deal of smallpox blankets,slavery, mass genocide on multiple occasions,internment camps,manifest destiny due to the white man's burden, warmongering, collateral damage, and the like inherent in that definition of hero.
The requirement dropping at Clinton is far too late when you consider that Nixon was involved in the occult and his own actions.
The Yokai in china having their own little war makes little sense since Japan just lost it's divine backing, which would render them weak to supernatural retaliation by everything. The chinese and Korean Yokai were doing something, but they were clearly irrelevant to the pacific theatre at large or locally defeated by the armies of Japan.

But since you want me to make up an idea in order to matter.

Fucking swarms of tarantulas and locusts that blot out the sun?
The dust bowl was clearly a biblical plague.
>>
>>2701725
>>So was this how you expected the 'nice little visit to the in-laws' to go?
>>
>>2701725
>>So was this how you expected the 'nice little visit to the in-laws' to go?

I'm very iffy about that concubine comment
I'm personally fine with the monogamous waifu we have
>>
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>>2701676
>I also don't think you're really insulted
No, I meant that response humorously. I'm not offended either, depending on your definition of 'degenerate'.

I've written motorcycle porn, fight scenes described as sex, and apparently enough sexual tension someone writefagged a fuckin' omake for it. I fit a lot of definitions of 'degenerate'.
>>
>>2701725
>So how do you feel about concubines?
>>
>>2701725
>So was this how you expected the 'nice little visit to the in-laws' to go?
>>
>>2701745
I could see it being said in jest. Though the wife might have more hands on experience with it than we realize.
>>
>>2701725
>So did we make an improvement here?
>So how do you feel about concubines?
>>
>>2701765
no
>>
>>2701725
>So was this how you expected the 'nice little visit to the in-laws' to go?

>>2701761
i almost forgot that this happened
>>
>>2701725
>So was this how you expected the 'nice little visit to the in-laws' to go?
>So did we make an improvement here?
>>
>>2701801
>>2701765
It's clearly time to start meditating under waterfalls to strengthen our will because the sword is starting to be able to possess us ever so slowly.
>>
>>2701725
>>So did we make an improvement here?
>>So was this how you expected the 'nice little visit to the in-laws' to go?
>>
>>2701730
You need to read more classical literature to understand that's what most "Heroes" have been.

Never said they were "Good".

Also I said a good idea, that's why you just gotta pop them out. Work through them. Get criticism.

Like is there a disgraced Nixon, driven out from his position due to falling to dark powers?
>>
>>2701842
I understand what (and who) the term hero actually comes from.
The idea that the president has to be a hero is also antithetical to the very creation of america and its associated documentation. It's extremely unamerican to the core.
>>
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>>2701725
"So," you ask your wife, under the covers of the futon, "was this how you expected the 'nice little visit to the in-laws' to go?"

It's too dark to see her flush, but you can feel the heat from her face.

"No," Liska whispers at you, "but I'm kind of glad it turned out like this. Sachio's going to be better for them than my old man, and you've smoothed," Liska continues, her voice vibrating along the back of your neck and up into your ear, "a lot of things between the town in the valley and the youkai on the mountain."

You can feel her press against your back, and those pointed teeth graze your earlobe.

"Sachio wanted to be friendly," you whisper, "I just helped them figure out what was necessary to keep our valley intact."

When did you begin talking about everyone here as 'we' and 'our'? You've already been doing it for a while, haven't you?

Family. And a weird halo beyond that. You're never going to understand feudal politics, at least, not rationally.

"And he wouldn't have been able to truck it without you," Liska says, rolling you over and somehow landing on top of you, "you're a human that deals with the supernatural on equal terms," she tells you, rearing up as her hands go lower, "god," she says, leaning up against you and whispering in your ear, "so that's why I married you."

'Equal terms', huh?

>Ok, you know where this is going, and you're taking Liska all the way there
>Melon's sleeping in the room - you can't just go for it here, much as you'd want to
>I'm tired. (And I'll sleep better while you're with me.)
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2701725
>So did we make an improvement here?
>So what do you think about that shrine maiden?
>So, do you want to try for another child?
>>
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>>2701636
>wtf am i reading
>>
>>2701856
>>Melon's sleeping in the room - you can't just go for it here, much as you'd want to
>>I'm tired. (And I'll sleep better while you're with me.)
>>
>>2701856
>>Ok, you know where this is going, and you're taking Liska all the way there

>>2701862
>So, do you want to try for another child?

I'm for this too.
>>
>>2701856
>Ok, you know where this is going, and you're taking Liska all the way there
>>2701803
Yes
>>2701814
I just saying it's starting to up bring up good points more and more often
>>
>>2701856

>Ok, you know where this is going, and you're taking Liska all the way there
>>
>>2701856
>Ok, you know where this is going, and you're taking Liska all the way there
>Want to try for a second one, Honey?
>>
>>2701856
>Complain about the futon not being a proper bed
>be proven wrong
>>
>>2701856
> Sneak off with Liska to bone outside

Rather get caught there than by our kid. Also it would be hotter.

Also

> Idly wonder if being a land god means Liskas Mom is always watching then immediately repress that thought
>>
>>2701856
>>Ok, you know where this is going, and you're taking Liska all the way there
>>
>>2701862
17:00 - 17:20 Voting period or so.

Don't take these posts absolutely seriously.

>>2701730
>heroes
That status is always determined by the victors.

They write the histories, no?

>There seems to be a great deal of smallpox blankets,slavery, mass genocide on multiple occasions,internment camps,manifest destiny due to the white man's burden, warmongering, collateral damage, and the like inherent in that definition of hero.
That is how you kill gods. You destroy their people, you take their land.

The colonizers in the Americas did as much as they could to uproot and destroy any native religions/gods. This is part of the reason American-style modernity/postmodernity isn't friendly to gods. Mao Zedong in China? Why do you think he tried to create a state without gods or religion? He was probably fighting the Imperial Mandate and the Celestial Bureaucracy.

And apparently, he won somehow.

Nobody knows how that happened.
>>
>>2701914
>They write the histories, no?
Not really true. They try to write the history but people still remember.
Eg The Trung sisters of Vietnam. They got raped and were so platinum mad that they assembled an army of kung fu berserker women that kicked China's ass so hard before being defeated that China refuses to admit it ever happened to this day
>>
>>2701914
> implying he won when its now turned into them being the Fredoom fighters and there HQ is in Tiwan.
>>
>>2701856
>>Ok, you know where this is going, and you're taking Liska all the way there
>>
Eh Sue is too young and impulsive, only thing I can see that happening is her confronting the wife about that

And the only other person that might consider is Harriet since she is so jadded
>>
>>2701856
>Ok, you know where this is going, and you're taking Liska all the way there
This is how we unlock our fox form
>>
>>2701856
You know where this is going.

And, honestly, you're pretty alright with it going there.

"Equal?" you ask, breaking out from under Liska and getting on top somehow, "you think these are equal terms?"

"No," Liska whispers at you, "but I like them anyway."

"Fuck me," she breathes into your ear.

Her eyes are shining, and you think about taking this outside, until you remember the carpet of refugees from the flood out there.

...That would just be a little too exhibitionist for your tastes.

Alright, you were perhaps going to complain about the floor futon as not being a proper bed, but, uh, it certainly works for this.

And you don't really remember where things end and where you fall into a deep sleep.

God, at least you don't dream about your sister again.

Not like THAT, the dream where you follow her into Hell.

>When you wake up, Melon's already gone
>When you wake up, Melon's already standing over you and beginning on a "he's my dad..."
>You just sort of casually wake up, Liska sprawled across you
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2701914
I got a feeling that some of the Celestial Beaurocracy got pushed out to taiwan and South-East Asia, where they and Islam have an uneasy relationship.
>>
>>2702031
>>When you wake up, Melon's already standing over you and beginning on a "he's my dad..."
>>
>>2702031
>You just sort of casually wake up, Liska sprawled across you
>>
>>2702031
>You just sort of casually wake up, Liska sprawled across you
Can we relax for the day?
>>
>>2702031
>>When you wake up, Melon's already standing over you and beginning on a "he's my dad..."
>>
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>>2702031
>>When you wake up, Melon's already standing over you and beginning on a "he's my dad..."
>"And you're gonna be a big sister. Sooner or later.

>>2702005
>This is how we unlock our fox form
But anon, we're already a fox.
>>
>>2702038
17:44 - 17:55 Voting period and all that

At this point, I should probably stay out of commenting on the thread for a bit.

As I should have all along.

>>2702050
>But anon, we're already a fox.
A silver fox.
>>
>>2702031
>When you wake up, Melon's already standing over you and beginning on a "he's my dad..."
>>
>>2702031
>When you wake up, Melon's already gone
>>
>>2702031
>>When you wake up, Melon's already standing over you and beginning on a "he's my dad..."
"Oh My god MOM!, he is my DAD!!
>>
>>2702031
>>When you wake up, Melon's already standing over you and beginning on a "he's my dad..."
>>
>>2702031
>You just sort of casually wake up, Liska sprawled across you
>>
>>2702031
>You wake up to your daugther's school ringing your phone at 2am
>>
>>2702031
> You wake up holding Freebles.
>>
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>>2702031
You're rudely awakened by a "HE'S MY DAD, uh, MOM!" from Melon.

Oh, right, she was sleeping in the room.

"And how do you think you got here?" Liska asks, half asleep, and still sprawled across you.

Your daughter goes red.

"You know," your wife says, stretching out against you, "I did give most of that slideshow from experience."

Then she leans up, toward Melon, as shock flashes across your daughter's face (and your wife's elbow digs into your chest).

"And this guy," Liska says, poking you with a finger, "was the first one I thought would be a decent father."

"Considering the roster," you mutter, thinking about a few of the things you've learned recently, "I'm not flattered."

"Hush," Liska says, looking back at you with a grin, "considering the roster, you should be. You're the only one who could kill a wendigo."

Melon's just standing there, looking back and forth between you and Liska. Granted, it's not a long distance, barely a flicker of the eyes.

But you can see in her eyes that her world's been turned topsy-turvy.

>Ok, I'm going to give my own talk [WRITE IN, BUT I'M GOING TO EDIT THE SHIT OUT OF THESE]
>We both did some stuff before we settled down.
>Didn't you have training with Haru today?
>I fucked your mom.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2702145
>We both did some stuff before we settled down.
>Didn't you have training with Haru today?
>...Uh, so Melon... How would you feel about having a little brother or sister?
>>
>>2702157
supporting
>>
>>2702157
18:17 - 18:27 Voting period and such.
>>
>>2702145
>>We both did some stuff before we settled down.
>>But what are your thoughts on a sibling?

>I fucked your mom.
Excuse me as I bust a gut after we busted a nut in our wife. I can't help but hear the lyrics of "Stacey's Mom" but it's "Melon's Mom" instead.
>>
>>2702145
>We both did some stuff before we settled down.
Some more than others, like a lot more, but that's besides the point
>>
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>>2702145
I'm not flattered...
>big guy who could kill a wendigo
For you.

>Ok, I'm going to give my own talk [WRITE IN, BUT I'M GOING TO EDIT THE SHIT OUT OF THESE]
>I mean I'm not your damn kid, you don't have to protect me from the female cooties. Well maybe those from crazy magical girls...
>>
>>2702145
>Didn't you have training with Haru today?
>...Uh, so Melon... How would you feel about having a little brother or sister?
>>
>>2702145
>But you can see in her eyes that her world's been turned topsy-turvy.

i love that expression; when the kid realizes that mom and dad aren't asexual, boring beings that create kids by mitosis. I can already imagine Melon calling her friends and asking them if they knew their parents have sex.
>>
>>2702232
She's so precious, like an innocent little angel that decided to become our daughter.
>>
>>2702145
It's ok to freak out a little honey. In the end it doesn't matter since you still love us.
>>
>>2702157
Kek, sounds funny, supporting.
>>
>>2702145
>We both did some stuff before we settled down.


>>2702176
Oh mate we should have that playing on the plane home or when we deive but to our house
>>
>>2702145
>>Didn't you have training with Haru today?
>>
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>>2702145
Oh hell. You're going to have to give some sort of defence of all this that doesn't lead into Melon thinking it's ok to do half, uh, a quarter, uh, an eighth, a sixteenth, well, really, any of the shit you pulled when you were her age.

Oh HELL.

Humor's the only refuge here.

"I'm a big guy," you say, looking at Liska, "for you."

You wife collapses in giggles on your chest, "if I pull that off -" she begins, her hand wandering downward.

"If I pull these off," you say, tweaking Liska's ears, "would you die?" and she yelps.

"It would be extremely painful," your wife tells you, grinning, "nobody cared who I was until I put on the ears."

Wait, aren't her folk BORN with ears?

"We both," you say, looking up at Melon, "messed around a bit before we settled down."

"And you're messing around a lot after you 'settled down'!" your daughter almost yells at you, "I'd be surprised if you two didn't pull Sue into your bed or something!"

You take a glance at Liska, and that smile is far too wide. Alright, well there's the answer to the 'concubine question' you never asked. But that's a predatory grin if you've ever seen one.

You're not really sure about Sue's chances of survival if she ever does end up...

No, she's young enough to be your daughter. She's you daughter's friend. You're just not going to think about the possibility that she might end up there.

Wait, did Melon just suggest that?

"We're married," Liska says, looking over at Melon, "it's a license to -"

And you cut her off.

"Didn't you have training with uncle Haru today?" you ask, as innocently as you can with a naked kitsune draped over you.

Ok, that's not very innocent at all, and the bedsheet's gotten pulled around a lot...

"You're not fobbing me off, dad," Melon tells you, crossing her arms.

>Uh... Melon, how do you feel about having a little brother or sister?
>Uh... Melon, this is sort of how it all works. That IS how you got here.
>Uh... Melon, we're married, we're sexually active adults, it's sort of how things go. That IS how you got here.
>Uh... Melon's mom has got it goin' on
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2702365
>Uh... Melon's mom has got it goin' on
>>
>>2702365
>>Uh... Melon's mom has got it goin' on
Yes.
>>
>>2702365
Start with...
>Uh... Melon, we're married, we're sexually active adults, it's sort of how things go. That IS how you got here.
Leading to...
>Besides... Melon's mom has got it goin' on.
And ending with...
>Say, Melon, how do you feel about having a little brother or sister?
>>
>>2702365
>Uh... Melon's mom has got it goin' on
>This is sort of how it all works. That IS how you got here.
>Uh... how do you feel about having a little brother or sister?

I just want a baby sibling for Melon to dote on.
>>
>>2702365
>>Uh... Melon, this is sort of how it all works. That IS how you got here.
>>Uh... Melon, we're married, we're sexually active adults, it's sort of how things go. That IS how you got here.
>>
>>2702365
>Uh... Melon, we're married, i'd say this is what happens in an healthy marriage between healthy people...
>how do you feel about having a little brother or sister?
>>
>>2702390
Supporting!
We will scarr our daughter so badly that Shelby wont get ANY until like the 3rd year of marriage because our horrible dad-jokes will keep running through her head along with our laughing face whenever the subject of sex comes up.

Dad's have their own form of curses and magic.
>>
>>2702377
19:12 - 19:25 voting period and all that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZLfasMPOU4

I'm still not sure why I did any of this, but I warned you horny fucks that Melon was in the room.
>>
>>2702413
I didn't even get a chance to vote, I think they assumed that if they took that option Melon would mysteriously not be there. Or they are stupid. Ohwell.
>>
>>2702413
should have told our wife to be quiet, woops
>>
>>2702365
Melon honey, As much as I dislike the idea ever happening until spontaneously have an instinctual need for grandkids since i'm your dad, you're probably going to end up doing this with some guy or girl you fall in love with eventually. Do you really want to give me the authority to interrupt you during all of that because I find it icky?
>>
>>2702413
Nigga I was asleep during this whole "Do you fug waifu in front of everyone or not" choice for like 8 to 12 hours. I have yet to develop the ability to sleepshitpost so I can't help my fellow niggas in that area.
>>
>>2702365
>Uh... Melon's mom has got it goin' on
>>
>>2702431
Anons literally cannot avoid an opportunity to get their imaginary dicks wet.
>>
>>2702456
It's amazing how easy anons are to manipulate. Normal people would have just cuddled. Liska probably has been using some sort of magical vitality supplements to make us extra horny.
>>
>>2702413
give us the chance, and 8/10 times we will go for the incest/harem rute
>>
>>2702409
I can support this
>>
>>2702456
That's why you have to lock the qmc down early on with a waifu open to threesomes
>>
>>2702390
Supporting this too...messing with daughters is fun
we can also offer hands on training with liska too
>>
>>2702390
supporting
>>
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>>2702365
"Melon's mom," you say, with the straightest face you can muster, "has got it goin' on."

"Dad are you really?" Melon asks, but you just pause as Liska wraps herself around you and waves her tails graciously.

Then you hear electric guitars from outside your room. Jokes are dangerous when you're staying in a castle with a bunch of people who have supernatural hearing.

And electric guitars.

"She's all I want," you tell your daughter, "and I waited for so long."

You can feel Liska giggle against you, as the idiots outside continue with the chorus, and Melon's jaw drops.

"Melon, can't you see," you tell your daughter, "this is just how it goes."

"I know it might be right," you say, "but I'm in love with Melon's mom."

Alright, the idiots outside are fucking around with the guitar solo now.

"We're married," you tell your gobsmacked daughter, "we're adults, healthy marriage, look, how do you think you got here?"

And you manage to catch the guitars for a last go at "I'm in love with Melon's mom!" and you give Liska a squeeze.

"So," Liska asks your blushing daughter, to the sound of rushing footsteps clearing out of the corridor, "how do you feel about a little brother or sister?"

"I.. uh," she stammers, "I've got lessons with uncle Haru!" she yells and bolts from the room.

3... 2... 1...

"AND WHAT WERE YOU DOING WITH THAT GUITAR, UNCLE!?!?" you hear from the corridor.

He was one of the guitarists the other night, wasn't he?

>So, Liska, do you think that's going to keep Melon out of trouble?
>So, what do you think of that shrine maiden?
>So, what do you think the next step is for getting this all straightened out?
>So, how about going back to bed?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2702551
>So, Liska, do you think that's going to keep Melon out of trouble?
>So, what do you think the next step is for getting this all straightened out?
>>
>>2702551
So, how about going back to bed?
>>
Rolled 31, 74 = 105 (2d100)

>>2702551
>>So, how about we put another bun in your oven *lewd smile intensifies*

Rolling for copulation and also <50 male >50 female
>>
>>2702551
>Write In
I noticed that grin when Melon made that comment about Sue, should I be worried that she gave you ideas?
>>
>>2702551
>So, Liska, do you think that's going to keep Melon out of trouble?
>So, what do you think the next step is for getting this all straightened out?
>You know I was being serious about making another kid you know...
>>
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>>2702559
19:55 - 20:05 voting period.

We're all in love with Melon's mom.
>>
>>2702572
>>2702551
Wait, let me change that last one to
>I don't know about you but I'm down for making another kid
>>
>>2702551
>So, Liska, do you think that's going to keep Melon out of trouble?
>So, what do you think the next step is for getting this all straightened out?
>>
>>2702551
>So, Liska, do you think that's going to keep Melon out of trouble?

>So, what do you think the next step is for getting this all straightened out?
>>
>>2702569
read
>>2701368
>>
>>2702599
oh I know, don't worry I know.
>>
>>2702588
Not to be that guy but I think we should think about an additional kid after we evade imminent death that awaits us in a year. You know, the whole world ending thing.
>>
Fuck, I just missed this, oh well.
>>
>>2702634
Why not both? Maybe we can have some SYMBOLISM about the baby's birth being a new beginning after we defeat the world ending event.
>>
>>2702551
>So, what do you think of that shrine maiden?
>So, what do you think the next step is for getting this all straightened out?
>So, how about going back to bed?
>>
>>2702641
maybe in case our wife has to help fight a world eating serpent or something of that caliber?
>>
>>2702656
That's a fair enough argument I suppose. Although with the amount of screwing our wife we should not be shocked by our wife's potential second pregnancy.
>>
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>>2702551
Well, it's probably better that he's trying to make fun of you with a guitar than some other ways. And at least he's got a humorous side that isn't malicious.

Although Melon might go at him again...

Ah, who cares.

"What do you think about another kid after we straighten this out?" you whisper into your wife's ear.

"You know what I think already," she says, suddenly on top of you, "I just wish I had better biology for it," Liska tells you, twitching her ears, "Melon's an exception - I should have had a litter."

You're not really sure if that's on you or her. Are your 'swimmers' like the battleships on the wrong side of the Russo-Japanese war? Considering you've only had one kid in twenty or so years of trying, they're definitely not the Midway fleet.

Well, you are pushing fifty.

Or is it her? 'Should have had a litter' - seems Liska might be almost infertile for her race, if she's only had Melon so far.

There's no point in wondering. It'll happen if it happens. And you just hope it won't be born into one of the apocalypses Harriet's seen.

And you're not getting magical 'help' on it until after that's averted.

"You're fine, dear," you say, scratching her behind the ears, "Melon's a damn good kid. You think that little... musical lecture's going to keep her out of trouble?"

"Hah!" she barks, "for a bit. She'll break Shelby's hips one day," Liska tells you, lying against you in the bed, "if he doesn't figure things out fast enough."

Wait a second. You thought Kelly's redheaded son was interested, but Melon didn't know?

And your wife thinks Melon's interested, but the kid's too dense?

This is starting to sound too much like two halves of a fission bomb's core.

Or a bad romcom plot.

>That guy's unstable as hell - tried to streetrace me, and seems like he's looking for death as hard as Sue
>You think that's going to be good for her?
>Wait, our little Melon would do that?
>Could be worse. She could be into older men or something.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2702749
>You think that's going to be good for her?
>Wait, our little Melon would do that?
>Could be worse. She could be into older men or something.
>>
>>2702749
>Could be worse. She could be into older men or something
Dun dun dun
>>
>>2702749
>That guy's unstable as hell - tried to streetrace me, and seems like he's looking for death as hard as Sue
>You think that's going to be good for her?
>Wait, our little Melon would do that?
>>
>>2702749
>You think that's going to be good for her?
>Could be worse. She could be into older men or something.

>>2702760
of course she would, look how her mother is
>>
>>2702749
>>Could be worse. She could be into older men or something.
>>
>>2702749
>You think that's going to be good for her?
>Wait, our little Melon would do that?
>Could be worse. She could be into older men or something.
Oh my, these options.
>>
>>2702749
>That guy's unstable as hell - tried to streetrace me, and seems like he's looking for death as hard as Sue
>Could be worse. She could be into older men or something.
If he didn't have a death wish the size of the grand canyon then sure I can see it. He's just gotta curb that boner for death.
>>
>>2702777
Wel her mother is into younger guys
Since shes like 14 times our age
>>
>>2702760
20:42 - 20:52 Voting period.

>>2702792
>Oh my, these options.
That's why there's a fucking [WRITE IN] option.
>>
>>2702804
>>>2702749
>>That guy's unstable as hell - tried to streetrace me, and seems like he's looking for death as hard as Sue
>>Could be worse. She could be into older men or something.
>>
>>2702749
He's got a good heart, but he needs to sort out whatever his issues are first. I can feel em from a mile away.
>>
>>2702749
>>You think that's going to be good for her?
>>Wait, our little Melon would do that?
>>Could be worse. She could be into older men or something.
>>
>>2702749
"You sure that's gonna be good for her?" you ask into one of Liska's fluffy ears, "guy's unstable as hell, tried to streetrace me, and he's..." you try to think of a good way the phrase the next piece, "he's looking for death as hard as Sue is."

"Most of us are looking for death," your wife tells you, "until we find someone we want to hang on to. Why do you think I was drinking myself blind in San Diego?"

That's a sobering thought. But after a few hundred years, and some of the things she'd been involved with...

"He's a Natural," she says, "right? Odds are, he doesn't make it to thirty. Either he bites off more than he can chew, or a demon pops in to take him. Doesn't make a difference if he's looking for death or not."

"You're really not making a good case for Melon getting invested in him," you tell her. "seeing as our daughter's probably got a few hundred years in her."

"All the more reason she should be happy for some of them," Liska says, and you can see the tendons in her neck tighten, "long lifespans aren't all they're cracked up to be," she tells you, rising from the bed, and you wonder how many men ran away from their fox-brides, rather than kitsune running away from them.

"I love you," she says, claws erupting from her fingertips, "this has been the best twenty years of my life. And you're a damn good father to Melon," she tells you, eyes fading back into her face, "but I've been around for a long fucking time. And I'll be around after you die. Even if Melon only gets a few good years of of it," Liska says, and you can see tears in those empty eyes, "it's going to be worth it a hundred years from now. She'll still remember."

"Well," you tell your wife, cracking a smile, "at least she's not into older men or something."

And Liska starts giggling. The facade of an avenging goddess crumbles under her laughter.

"I really married you for the jokes," she whispers in your ear, "and, well, I can't deny you were a bad boy I thought I could redeem or something. And you had the core of being a good dad inside you somewhere. But everything after that's just been icing on the cake."

"Glad I could deliver," you tell her, as Liska snuggles back up to you.

>I'm pretty sure we shouldn't intervene in Melon's love life, then
>You looked rather... excited about getting Sue into our bed
>Heinrich's been with Bernie for about 1100 years - is there a way to?
>I'm guessing they're serving breakfast. You want to...?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2702962
>>You looked rather... excited about getting Sue into our bed
>>
>>2702962
>>Heinrich's been with Bernie for about 1100 years - is there a way to?
>>
>>2702962
>>I'm guessing they're serving breakfast. You want to...?
>>
>>2702962
>>>Heinrich's been with Bernie for about 1100 years - is there a way to?
>>
>>2702962
>Heinrich's been with Bernie for about 1100 years - is there a way to?
>>
>>2702962
>You looked rather... excited about getting Sue into our bed
>Heinrich's been with Bernie for about 1100 years - is there a way to?
>>
>>2702962
>>You looked rather... excited about getting Sue into our bed

>>If Heinrich's been with Bernie for about 1100 years - you 'll probably hear my jokes many more years in the future.
>>
>>2702962
>Heinrich's been with Bernie for about 1100 years - is there a way to?
if possible, a way that doesn't involve dragon dicks
>>
>>2702962
>Heinrich's been with Bernie for about 1100 years - is there a way to?
>I'm guessing they're serving breakfast. You want to...?
>>
>>2702962
>Heinrich's been with Bernie for about 1100 years - is there a way to?

I mean hell, if Berine and Heinrich can pull it off then why can't we?
>>
>>2702962
>You looked rather... excited about getting Sue into our bed
>Heinrich's been with Bernie for about 1100 years - is there a way to?
>>
>>2702962
>You looked rather... excited about getting Sue into our bed
>>
>>2702962
>>You looked rather... excited about getting Sue into our bed
>>Heinrich's been with Bernie for about 1100 years - is there a way to?
>>I'm guessing they're serving breakfast. You want to...?
>>
>>2702962
>Heinrich's been with Bernie for about 1100 years - is there a way to?
If/when we finally get bored with it, we'll march our family out in the outer realm and fight some Lovecraftian deities. It's as good an end as any, assuming we actually *want* to die. We'd probably win otherwise...
>You looked rather... excited about getting Sue into our bed
Attempt distraction when she agrees, suggest Harriet or Mary instead since they're less likely to accept. Stumble when we realize we just added to the fire like a dumbass. Ponder that it's almost like our actions are decided by a set of fickle gods sometimes.
>>
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>>2702967
21:31 - 21:45 Voting period.

Pic related, per pacts with dragons.

And yes, there were anons in former threads that memed about it.
>>
>>2702962
>>You looked rather... excited about getting Sue into our bed
>>Heinrich's been with Bernie for about 1100 years - is there a way to?
>>
>>2702962
>You looked rather... excited about getting Sue into our bed

>>I'm guessing they're serving breakfast. You want to...?
>>
>>2702962
>You looked rather... excited about getting Sue into our bed
>Heinrich's been with Bernie for about 1100 years - is there a way to?
>>
>>2703006
I'm still proud of the fact that our Caim memes came true.
I'm not however proud of the fact that our precious backyard got turned into a bloodsport arena, but I gotta deal with it like a man instead of a whimpering babby that gave away his ability to sing to "bring his waifu back from the dead"
>>
>>2702810
No, I meant that in a positive way, if it sounded like I was shitting on your writing skills, that's the opposite of my intentions.
>>
>>2703005
Oh this is good, supporting
>>
>>2702962
Heinrich's been with Bernie for about 1100 years - is there a way to?
>>
>>2703005
Supporting
>>
>>2702962
>>2703005
I vote this
>>
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>>2702962
"Heinrich's been with Bernie for something like eleven hundred years," you tell her, "want to hear my jokes for over a millenia?"

"Dragons are..." Liska starts off, "different. They're halfway into the other world when they're born. And the contracts they make with mortals, well, the pacts, that's what they call them, they take something. And neither party knows what until it's done," she continues, whispering into your ear, "I'm betting Heinrich can't have children."

That's not really much of a drawback, considering the relationship he seems to have with Bernie.

"I can't do that," Liska tells you, "I'm not a dragon. And I want your kids."

You never would have figured that out. Either one of those things.

Not in a million years.

...At some point, the sarcasm in your head is going to shut off, right?

"Well," you whisper into the fluff of her ear, "you looked a bit excited when Melon talked about Sue getting in our bed."

"OF COURSE SHE WAS," you hear through your temples, "ANY FIRST WIFE WORTH HER SALT WOULD WANT YOU TO EXPAND YOUR DYNASTY!"

That was about the last time and place you'd ever want to hear the Sengoku Spook's opinion on something. And the sword's hanging on the fucking wall!

Hell, it's been watching.

"I, uh," Liska starts, and then relaxes on the bed next to you, "seven hundred years is a long time, and I've been on every side of every line."

That's almost a rhyme.

But you're pretty sure you know what's coming next.

"I'd fuck her," Liska whispers, "I'd fuck her with you, I'd make you fuck her, I'd make her fuck me" she says, her voice echoing huskily in her throat, then she rears up to look you in the eyes, "but it would get damn messy afterward, emotionally, if nothing else," your wife tells you, "and I didn't think you'd be ok with it," she finishes.

You're just going to ignore the fact that your wife just said she'd, uh, screw one of Melon's friends. A girl young enough to be your daughter, and definitely young enough to be hers.

"What about Harriet or Mary?" you ask, hoping to fend things off with unlikely candidates.

Liska lays back down against you and says "I kind of want to be there for Harriet's introduction to cock - pretty sure she's a lesbian. And you stack up pretty well against a minotaur."

Well, that's comforting. Sort of.

Wait, you didn't even ask about Karen, and Liska volunteered that?

"And I've never been with a goddess," she says.

That's a lot to take in at once. Your wife is telling you she'd, well, go for it with any of them?

"But I, uh," your wife whispers to you, "look, I'd rather be with you. And... I don't think you'd be down for any of that. And things would get pretty complicated afterward."

You don't really have a reply. You've been trying very hard to not think about that ...side of your daughter's friends.

"Can't really fault you," you tell your wife, "but I think they're serving breakfast now."

[1/2]
>>
>>2703172
Isn’t the reason we didn’t suggest Karen is because we thought she’s interested in the Minotaur?
>>
>>2703194
I left her out because I figured she'd be the most likely to go for it after Sue. She'd probably get a laugh out of banging her friend's parents.
>>
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>>2703172
You get up, and Liska looks at you. You're not really sure whether that was the best course here, but at least you've made it clear you're not disgusted.

The two of you throw on your clothes, and your wife fixes your tie for you.

"You look better than any of those idiots in the main hall," Liska tells you, as you step out of your room, arm-in-arm.

You're head's still reeling a little as you walk down the corridor.

Then you step out into the main hall.

You can hear Sachio yelling in Japanese, then he repeats himself in English: "the man who made it happen, my brother!"

Cheers.

Well, better than boos. You notice that the shrine maiden's seated by his right hand.

The motley crew of humans and youkai are assembled around the lower tables, and the old dudes from last night are still at the high table.

Well, it looks like nobody's gotten eaten.

>Sachio, what did I make happen?
>Hamasaki, did something happen?
>Kelly, when's your flight out?
>Alright, when do the government guys get here?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2703202
>>Sachio, what did I make happen?
>>
>>2703202
>>Sachio, what did I make happen?
Much as I like Hamasaki, may as well get our bro to talk us up some.

I'm guessing this is some "uniting the disparate races" thing?

Can we take them to Hell with us?
>>
>>2703202
>>Sachio, what did I make happen?
>>Hamasaki, did something happen?

Well if someone has to be the concubine it will be Harriet or Sue considering wife made interestkng points
>>
>>2703202
>Sachio, what did I make happen?
>>
>>2703202
>Sachio, what did I make happen?
>>2703172
she into some shiiit, we should probably clarify our position on this so we don't get some weird crap happening. Also fucking sue is probably a fast track to melon rage
>>
>>2703223
>>2703226
Harriet is technically in her 40's if i remember well, that'd be amusing

but i'm in the "we have thought but our wife is the only one for us" camp
>>
>>2703216
22:50 - 23:00 Voting period and all that.

>>2701368
>>2702971
>>2702980
>>2702982
>>2702997
>>2702999
>>2703000
>>2703011
>>2703012
>>2703016
>>2703005
I hope you are all very happy.

Yes, apparently your dadliness is all that stands between you and a lot of teenage pussy. Are you a bad enough dude to take the high road? Other folks might get to Loch Lomond before you, but please, please, take the high road, even if others get to Scotland afore ye.
>>
We need to show them all the "fatherly" love they never received.
>>
>>2703202
>>Sachio, what did I make happen?

God, I can't believe I didn't realize it before. The contracts with rats don't always grant the girls magic, sometimes they already have it. Mary always had the "goddess" in her. She's one a new God of North America.
>>
>>2703248
Eh with Sue I want to wait a couple of years to see if she either matured or still has feelings despite getting older at the very least.

However I’m okay with Harriet for some weird teaskn
>>
>>2703248
Part of it is just to mess with you, Haiku. Part of it is to mess with the MC.

If I were to honestly swing us for anything romance-related, it'd be to pair up others. Always pair the spares!

>>2703256
Maybe with the vacuum of godliness in North America, people are simply imbued with the power as godliness tries to express itself somehow. Maybe there's a more fundamental force that *requires* divinity in a region to balance things out.
>>
>>2703248
I'm assuming you're asking nicely that we don't lewd the magical girls, I can agree with this, but I believe is Sue made another push for the D, I think the wife might crack and push her to us.

Harriet on the other hand well...If her situation is well known I suppose it's really not as...mentally dangerous considering she's basically almost as old as we are after 30 tries I'd put her maybe at mentally 20+ years old.

But my main point is that it has to make sense within the world and with the characters personalities I will get so mad if it's forced.

While I don't prefer us enhancing our marriage with teenage pussy, if it goes naturally I can't stop it, but damned if I won't dig my heels in if it's forced.
>>
>>2703266

instead of directly loving all the girs we play matchmaker dad? I can dig this
>>
>>2703248
Life is short in the fast lane
>>
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>>2703268
>I think the wife might crack and push her to us.
Some fucker already wrote that. There's no point in me re-writing it.

I am too influenced by everything posted in thread.
>>
>>2703268
Fuck it, just set Harriet up with the nice Miko.
>>
>>2703248
A teenage girl looking for parental male attention and affection is a dangerous thing.

We have to channel our dadliness and understand that any feelings of attraction to us are mostly their desire for their own fathers love and approval. There is a reason that a LOT of poorly adjusted girls who become strippers have daddy issues. Sex appeal becomes one of the only ways for them to achieve some kind of affection from older men (and a lot of money).

In the end inviting any of them into our bed would be a pretty scummy thing. Both towards our wife, towards our daughter, and towards them. As well as it would likely make us feel like shit afterwards, possibly Liska too. Just because some fantasy revs your motor doesn't mean you wont feel sick with yourself afterwards.
>>
>>2703278
Eh like I said it depends and my opinions the closest for that to happen is either Sue or Harriet and even then MC won’t touch them since their teenagers.

At the very least a few years must passed
>>
>>2703286
Thing is we only have a year so unless the quest continues after the apocalypse that's not happening.
>>
>>2703276
>>2703266

funny you should mention this i considered pushing Sue towards our brother in law after their duel
>>
>>2703276
>Mary x Harriet
>Karen x Minotaur
>Need to find a replacement for Sue, maybe Sue x Hamasaki? >>2703292 Nvm, that works.
>Melon x FUCKING NO ONE CAUSE WE'RE HER DAD AND HER LIFE IS SADNESS until she's old enough to move out of the house and live her own life.
>Shelby x Hamasaki to remove Shelby as an option for Melon.
>Tengu x Yuki-onna
There are so many characters I'm forgetting right now. Help me out, anons.
>>
Rev up your lewdbin cause HaikuDeluge greenlit lewding the mahou shoujo daughterus.
INCLUDING MELON
>>
>>2703268
>>2703284
What these guys said. I got on since it looked like a humourous vote, but if someone forces it down without consideration I would refuse strongly along with these guys.
>>
>>2703298
No I don't do shipping, get this fleet of shit out of here.
>>
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>>2703299
What
No
NO!
>>
>>2703298
>>2703299
I didn't ask for this boner, but god damn.
>>
>>2703299
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
>>2703302
You might want to accept it. Being a dad is deciding which ships you'll accept involving your kids, after all. To top it of, most of Melon's friends don't seem to have good families, so we might fill in for their shoes as well.

Seriously though, if we keep doing dad stuff it'll work out in the end. We'll be fine even if we don't break out flowcharts.
>>
>>2703248
Worry not, I won't be voting for such filth. Until our stamina reaches god level, where Fox Waifu needs help to keep up with us.
Seriously though, if it happens naturally and grows from a situation in a way that makes sense, I won't object. But I still want DAD Quest over a harem quest.
>>
>>2703324
I did not join this quest to be nosy parental match-maker, get this shipping shit out of here especially with that minotaur crap we already dealt with that I don't want to see that bull again or his ass is grass with buckshot.
>>
>>2703324
This is that forcing shit that I was talking about it extends not just to ourselves and the wife but all characters.
>>
>>2703248
Goddamn horny bastards can't be arsed to let us be a proper example for our daughter. If in the afterlife we find out she went full Mebd it's all your fault.
>>
I agree I want that fucking Minotaur out of our house or if he show up I'll kill him, mount his head on our wall.

only us can lewd the Karen
>>
>>2703349
Kitsune by default go full medb. kitsune are youkai hedonists.
>>
>>2703353
>spoiler
Yeah, no, let's keep this as "Dad Quest" not "Jailbait Quest."

And even then, she made the first move, he went along. She's a teenager. Just tell her to not leg lock him and tell him to pull out or have pills on standby or hell, have T.T. whip up some womb blocking magic bullshit like an enchanted IUD. We might be a Foxy DILF, but only our Foxy MILF of a wife gets a ride.
>>
>>2703385
That doesn't matter I don't want to hear about this minotaur in this quest outside of it helping us fight the apocalypse big bad, outside of that I see it, I'm voting to kill it.
>>
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>>2703202
"Sachio," you say, as you sit down at the table, "what did I make happen?"

He looks at you for a couple seconds, the bursts out laughing.

"You're joking," he gasps, as he recovers, "you don't realize it?"

"Not really," you tell him, "I don't really think I did of much anything. I just came to visit my in-laws."

Kelly gives you a LOOK, then hides his face behind a coat sleeve.

Sachio mutters something in Japanese to Hamasaki, and she hides her mouth behind the voluminous sleeve of her outfit, but you could swear she's shaking with giggles.

"Brother," Sachio says in agonizingly formal tones, "the grease never realizes how it makes the gears turn."

Is this more eastern mystic stuff?

"If you hadn't invited Hamasaki-sama into that car," he says, spreading his hands, "and if I hadn't been lord of the mountain then, and you had not offered hospitality on my behalf, well," he says, waving an arm at the crowd, "half these people wouldn't be here. They'd be dead."

The shrine maiden translates, as Sachio gets up and signals for you to follow him into the corridor.

Well, you've gotten a couple bites of breakfast, at least. You follow him.

"Look," says, as he draws you through the maze that is his castle, "we're having a brotherly discussion. Now, about those stocks..."

And then he mouths "the walls have ears here."

You nod.

Considering that you got a fucking backup chorus on 'Stacy's Mom', when you quoted a line in your own bedroom, he's not wrong.

"Dow's pretty steady today," you tell him, "but some of those specialty picks..." you trail off.

Sachio grins.

After a couple of minutes of that sort of thing, the two of you are alone in a rock garden.

"You taking that sword," Sachio says in a low tone, nodding at the Thousand Year Blade shoved through your belt, "best thing that ever happened to me."

"What?" you ask him, "I thought it was a family heirloom."

"It is," your brother in law, and sworn brother, tells you, "but as long as I had it, I'd never know if what I did was something I really wanted, or something the sword was trying to push me into."

"IT WAS FOR HIS OWN GOOD," pounds through your temples.

"Once I lost it to you," Sachio says, his voice dropping to a whisper, "then I knew that I, I, and not the sword, I was the one that wanted to put my dad down."

Holy shit. You accidentally a coup d'etat? With a drunken fight?

Isn't it usually getting the bloodthirsty talking sword that causes people to do shit like that, not losing it?

"I TRIED FOR YEARS," you hear in your head, "HE DIDN'T BUY IT. HE WOULD NOT BELIEVE ME."

"That pulled the trigger on this," Sachio whispers, "once I realized it was my own will, and not that thing," he finishes with a dark glance at the sword.

>I'm guessing you don't want it back.
>Are you being straight with the townspeople?
>If I invade Hell, can I count on you to come with me, brother?
>Guess I'm a little more than grease, huh?
>LIQUID!!!!!!!!
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2703405
>>LIQUID!!!!!!!!
>I'm guessing you don't want it back.
>Guess I'm a little more than grease, huh?
>>
>>2703405
>>>LIQUID!!!!!!!!
>>I'm guessing you don't want it back.
>>Guess I'm a little more than grease, huh?
sure
>>
>>2703405
>I'm guessing you don't want it back.
>Are you being straight with the townspeople?
>Guess I'm a little more than grease, huh?
>If I invade Hell, can I count on you to come with me, brother?
>>
>>2703405
>>I'm guessing you don't want it back.
>>For the next trick, we need to have a guys night and get you a nice woman.
>>
>>2703414
Sure, supporting
>>
>>2703405
>>Guess I'm a little more than grease, huh?
>>Are you being straight with the townspeople?
>>
>>2703405
>LIQUID!!!!!!!!
>If I invade Hell, can I count on you to come with me, brother?
>Guess I'm a little more than grease, huh?
>>
>>2703411
>>>LIQUID!!!!!!!!


not familer with metla gear lore, why is this an option
>>
Also, Melon is so spending her summers in Japan to learn how to bridge the gaps between the surreal and mundane people.

She's getting her own side-story anime. Becoming the returnee, halfu with blond hair, half-kitsune girl traveling the country, picking up wisdom while helping deal with the super natural with locals.
>>
>>2703405

>I'm guessing you don't want it back
>>
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>>2703405
>Are you being straight with the townspeople?
>>
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>>2703405
"LIIIQUIIIIIIIID!" you yell, backing up a pace.

"SOLID!" Sachio screams, under the bright morning sun.

"KANEDAAA!" erupts from your throat. It feels right.

Well, it feels more right than having a fight atop a burning nuclear armed tank.

The sword assures you that's your other option here. Seems like it's modernizing in scary ways.

"TETSUOOOO!" Sachio yells at you.

"I'm not going city-destroying tumor on you," you tell the new kitsune lord. Akira was a weird fucking movie, and you're pretty sure that private felt cheated when there wasn't any porn on that bootleg VHS tape.

You still watched the shit out of it. Hell, you only got so many tapes on base.

"And I'm guessing you don't want the sword back," you say, walking toward Sachio.

"You won it off me, remember?" he asks you, stepping toward you, "keep it. And that 'Sue' girl could probably do some damage with it, if you want to loan it out. You're no swordsman."

"I hear she passed the trials," you tell him, "ALL the trials."

"WITH FLYING COLORS," you hear inside your skull, "NEVER HAVE I BEEN HELD BY SUCH A SWORDSMA - WOMAN!"

"No wonder she was such a fun fight," Sachio says, "if it had been for real, she might have taken me out. She's pretty scary."

You can agree with him, but for different reasons.

Wait, a youkai, a guy that fought in the French resistance, is calling her scary?

"Seems like I'm a little more than 'grease', huh?" you ask him.

"I wanted to save face back there," Sachio says with a smirk, waving a hand at the castle.

"Saving face aside," you say in a low tone, stepping up to him, "you being straight with the townspeople?"

He gets that serious look on his face again.

"I don't want another few hundred years of cold war with the them," he whispers to you, "I will NOT be my father."

"Given what I've heard," you whisper back to him, "that's a decent plan."

"I'll use his files to keep the government from getting too snoopy on us, though," Sachio whispers, and you can feel his hot breath on your ear, "that's a rotten tree."

>You're just talking about the 'rot' we uncovered?
>What do think about that shrine maiden - Hamasaki?
>After this, are me and mine still welcome here?
>If I invade Hell, are you in?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2703486

why are we even quating metal gear again?
>>
>>2703486
>What do think about that shrine maiden - Hamasaki?
>After this, are me and mine still welcome here?
As fun as it would be to let him into the "Raid Hell" Crew, Sachio seems to have a lot on his plate concerning his rulership of his dad's properties and such.
>>
>>2703486
>>You're just talking about the 'rot' we uncovered?
>>
>>2703486
>What do think about that shrine maiden - Hamasaki?
Rember no taxes for you if you take over edo
>>
>>2703493
00:32 - 00:42 Voting period.

>>2703432
>why is this an option
>>2703490
>why are we even quoting metal gear again?
It's a joke, based loosely off the 'brother' thing the MC's got going on with Sachio. (And the fact that the sword did the same routine with a copy.) I didn't expect it to take off like that.

I did have an explanation for the Akira reference, though!
>>
>>2703486
>If I invade Hell, are you in?
>You're just talking about the 'rot' we uncovered?
>>
>>2703493
Supporting that raid crew part.
>>
>>2703486
>>You're just talking about the 'rot' we uncovered?
>>After this, are me and mine still welcome here?
>>
>>2703358
Actually... they're associated with weddings and devoted lovers. If Melon goes that path it's because she's been corrupted.
>>
RAID HELL INSTANCE DUNGEON

PARTY 1
>Dad
>Liska
>TT
>Kelly
>Shelby

Party 2
>Mary
>Harriet
>Sue
>Karen
>Melon

PARTY 3 (Optional)
>Kelly Wife
>Einz
>Rachel
>TT Wife
>TT imouto

Party 4 (Optional)
>Sachio
>Haru
>Hamasaki(probably)
>Bernie (for fun lulz)
>Heinrich (also for fun)

How is my list?
>>
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>>2703486
"You just talkin' about the 'rot' we uncovered?" you whisper in your brother's fuzzy ear.

"Fuck you," he says, a bit too loudly, then whispers "some of that looks like the shit I saw in occupied France. They don't fit in any category the shinto folks deal with, but a curé would call them demons."

"I might be funding our good friend back there," Sachio says, nodding his head toward the main hall, "getting back into government a few years from now. At least I know he's not one. Saw him when he was in diapers!" your brother finishes, slapping his leg.

So it's here too. Maybe the shrine maiden was right about cities lacking protection against them.

Speaking of which...

"And what do you think of her?" you ask, as the two of you pace around the garden.

"Oh," Sachio says, "Hamasaki-san?"

That was a rather indeterminate 'her' you tossed to him, and he assumed you were talking about the shrine maiden? Interesting.

"She's got a good head," Sachio says, "even if she's never been out of the countryside. Really stepped up during the whole flood thing. And she's been caring for mom's shrine for five years, so I can't say anything bad about her, hey?"

He finishes with a grin.

You've seen that grin before, on Liska's face.

>We've got breakfast to eat
>I thought she was pretty solid
>Be careful she doesn't banish you or something
>'Mediating between the human and the supernatural', huh?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2703553
>>Be careful she doesn't banish you or something
>>
>>2703553
>Be careful she doesn't banish you or something
>>
>>2703553
>Be careful she doesn't banish you or something
>'Mediating between the human and the supernatural', huh?
>We've got breakfast to eat

TIEM FOR WAFFLES!
>>
>>2703553
>Be careful she doesn't banish you or something
>'Mediating between the human and the supernatural', huh?
>>
>>2703553
Mediating between the human and the supernatural', huh?
>>
>>2703553
>'Mediating between the human and the supernatural', huh?
>Be careful she doesn't banish you or something
>>
>>2703553
She's too young for you dude. At least wait until she's an adult. (not my real vote. I'm just joking. I swear.)
>>2703553
>She's seems like she has more of a burden on herself than anyone that age should have, not that I can't say the same about Melon and her friends.
>I noticed a few hints over the last few days. Your old man have something to do with the uh.. unfortunate situation that made her shrine maiden? It must take alot of courage to show up here after that.
>>
>>2703553
>>'Mediating between the human and the supernatural', huh?
>>We've got breakfast to eat
>>
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>>2703553
"Mediating between the human and the supernatural, huh?" you ask, very neutrally.

You're probably on hilariously thin ice here, unless he's joshing you.

Which is always a possibility.

"She's been doing a better job than anyone in the past few hundred years," Sachio tells you, "you should have seen the time they sent onmyoji to kick us out."

That's a real thing?

Given the group of youkai you've seen here, you're pretty sure those guys were lucky if their families got their heads back.

"I jumped the islands pretty soon after that," he continues, "not a fan of how my father handled things - he didn't take kindly to interference in his affairs."

You never would have guessed. But you wonder what sort of hand your brother had in running interference back then.

"And I'm guessing he was on particularly poor terms with anyone serving the land goddess?" you ask, extremely innocently.

The two of you turn back to pace across the stone garden again.

"What," Sachio asks you, with the brightness of an anglerfish's light, "would ever make you think that?"

That's bait. That's bait and you know it. You can see the hook.

So you walk alongside him in silence.

"You know enough of the story," he says, "but when I talked about about a few hundred years of cold war with the local shinto establishment, I wasn't joking."

"That got anything to do with the current shrine maiden's situation?" you mutter at him.

"Last one retired peacefully, as far as I know," he whispers to you, "I think she's living with relatives on a pension. That cold war went ice age after MacArthur came in, or so I hear. But he's definitely the reason there's just a shrine and a maiden for mom instead of a real setup with priests. I haven't visited much since I left."

Can't really fault him for that.

"Hamasaki's carrying one hell of a burden," you tell him, "particularly for someone that young." Although you can't really place her age accurately, and it's probably better than Melon's deal.

Unless..., you think, eyeing your brother. That would be a way to expand his power. And you're wondering.

"Less of one now that the old man's gone," Sachio mutters, "I heard she came up with a complaint against a kappa when she was new. That had to take guts."

"And did it get...?" you ask.

"No idea," Sachio whispers, "I've asked around a bit. One of them got executed, that's for sure, but it's anyone's guess whether it was the culprit or just someone dad thought was getting uppity."

Sounds like it fits with the rest of what you've seen of the old fox's files.

"Be careful she doesn't banish you or something," you tell him.

He gives you a sideways glance, but keeps walking.

>I heard there was breakfast inside
>I heard there's some history in this country with marriages consolidating feudal powerbases? Sounds like you've been around long enough to see some.
>I heard something about tengu teaching martial arts?
>Would you have marched on Tokyo with me last night?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2703669
>Would you have marched on Tokyo with me last night?
>I heard there was breakfast inside
>>
>>2703669
>he's definitely the reason
Just to be clear, the 'he' here refers to the MC's father in law, not MacArthur. On a re-read, I'm not sure that's clear.
>>
>>2703669
>>I heard there was breakfast inside
>>
>>2703669
>I heard something about tengu teaching martial arts?
>I heard there was breakfast inside, please tell me you got waffles.
>>
>>2703669
It gonna be safe for me to take Melon and Liska outside of your territory before I go back? I was hoping I'd have time to see more of Japan, maybe take her to Disneyland or something.I don't find fighting as.. fun as you do when i'm trying to do something else.
>>
>>2703669
>>I heard there was breakfast inside
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>>2703669
>>Would you have marched on Tokyo with me last night?
>>
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I'm knackered. Going to bed.

As usual, archive link: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Shotgun Whoever described last thread as "Finally visit the in-laws, none of it goes well.", fantastic.

Next runtime on my twitter, also a usual: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

Questions/comments/death threats/etc. will be answered or ignored as I see fit.

This has been a weird run today. I mean, I feel like it's been weirder than usual.
>>
>>2703726
maybe because of some folk wanting to sleep with Sue and or the other girls.
>>
>>2703734
I mean, I wouldn't mind Sue eventually getting IC pulled into a long-term threesome with MC-Dad and Best Waifu.

I just don't want any of that to happen right now (or most likely within the scope of the quest). I could maybe see happening in the future, once she's had time to emotionally mature and is old enough to either get herself emancipated (if her home life is really that bad) or plain move out of her parents place (and, y'know, see if she doesn't just get over her crush). Which probably wouldn't happen until some sort of epilogue anyways.
>>
>>2703744
>>2703734
Maybe it's just me but I'm not a big fan of the whole "Make a Harem" thing. It just feels so blase like it'll make what we have turn generic extremely fast.
>>
>>2703744
>>2703768
Personally I'm happy with best fox waifu, i dunno why everyone else isn't content.
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>>2703744
This.
>>
I haven't seen anyone say they aren't content with best wife, and I'm not seeking a harem or anything. The only reason I have an opinion on Sue is because she's actively interested in that, and Liska is quite interested as well.

The only strong feelings I have regarding a relationship with Sue is that while Liska may be okay with it, Sue's too young and emotionally immature to be making that decision regardless. If it does happen, it likely wouldn't be until years later in a post-game epilogue.
>>
The biggest thing that concerns me on relationship with sue is that we dont even know /that/ much about her. Heck, we don't even know the situation with her and her parents. Even if sue is willing this seems just too premature. she really needs time to think this over while we learn more about sue(and the rest of our big family for the matter. You know, like that bit with T.T. or Karen/Harriet. Can't learn from Mary since she refused but that's an option if she changes her mind)
>>
>>2703803
> Heck, we don't even know the situation with her and her parents.

We know her dad is some bigshot who has poor phone skills. He will probably be troublesome down the road.
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>>2703865
That's Karen not Sue.
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>>2703865
Wasn't that a call with karen's dad? Also, that doesn't invalidate my suggestion.
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>>2703774
No complaints here. Honestly feel we should be sexed right out, I don't know why anyone thinks we have dick to spare even.

Maybe that's because I tend to date insecure women who try to use sex to compensate and have overdeveloped sex drives. It's actually really difficult to deal with when any sort of intimate touching revs their engine and then you HAVE to fuck them hard.

I'm serious, it's honestly emotionally and physically exhausting.

I cannot imagine dating two women like that.
>>
>>2703868
>>2703869
Oh you're right. Still. We should be looking into the kids lives a bit more.

Also invading Hell.
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>>2703870
>>2703870
For me I just want Sue to experience what a wonderful daddy is not to dick her. We should scold her like a daddy we are and teach how a daughter should act. So please please anon don't think with your dick.

Also take your smut away here this is a Christian sanctioned quest.
>>
Think there is too much sex things and not enough dad things.
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>>2703871
>>2703873
Yeah. If anything we need to find out how she developed her personality.
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>>2703871
We gotta get off namek first.
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>>2703873
I literally just said we probably have insufficient amounts of dicking to keep up with our wife and anyone else long-term. Harem-fags don't know what that's like, not just for the MC but how frustrated that makes the women either because in harem anime the women are all slavish waifu-bait with barely any independent thought or personality.

Which is why even long-term it would be better for us to support Sue at least trying to date other guys instead of ending up with us and Liska just because we're the only one to ever treat her like a person. Because THAT is our Dadly obligation, even to our own daughter.

Especially depending on her own dad, we should get HIM to fix his head and be a better dad.

Maybe she already has a good guy as a dad, but he's so obsessed with martial arts that he's shounen level dense just like us.

Remember Melon was getting sucked deep into this BS as well, we got lucky with our situation to be able to intervene.

It's not all bad home lives, sometimes people just aren't good at communicating with each other.

I realize 4chan has some exposure bias, but most parents really do love their kids even if they are assholes about things. It's not like there's an instruction manual for dealing with kids.

God forbid she has a dead older brother who was supposed to be the dojo inheritor but ended up being too wild abd got killed and now she's trying to live the same life to compensate and the whole situation is too painful for her parents to really lock that shit down. Like if she says things are fine they accept it because they're scared of pushing her away and losing their only other child.

Ending up with her getting weird vibes of acceptance along with inadequacy because she knows they SHOULD be calling her out on stuff, leading to more acting out, leading to her parents trying tonbe MORE accepting etc.

That sort of thing happens all the time and it's really hard for people to break out of that cycle on their own. It's also literally impossible for an outsider to force a fix because people's emotions about family can be defensive to say the least. At best you bring the situation up and offer to helo them resolve it themselves.
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>>2703880
> YFW you realize being a Dad is our Boat and we're stuck on it for life not just ten years.

We should have some crises intervals. The issue is that the girls, and reaply everyone around is, is such a better option for fixing that.

Whereas our ability is pretty much being abnormally sane and a little naive about how the whole magical world works, but without the passive desire to get along or "respect their cultural values" of friendly stabbings and such because fuck that shit if our daughter has to live in it.
>>
We should just trick Sue into bed and snuggle with her instead, with Liska and her fluffy tails om the other side.
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>>2703889
That seems like a plan that won't end the way you might think it would.
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>>2703889
I thought that space was reserved only for melon?
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>>2703894
>>2703890
She just needs some paternal love.
>>
Am I the only one that's kinda disappointed we didn't march on Tokyo?
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>>2703911

no, there was that one dude in the story who was disspointed too
>>
We're not fucking Sue, were fucking up her parents if they don't shape up after a stern conversation.
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>>2703911
Yes. Because we're going to march on Hell so no time for small game.
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>>2703900
and there are other ways to o it.
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>>2703949
Children only know what they've been taught about love.

Maybe with dick is the only way some anons daddy's loved them.
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I just realized something, we were too busy rubbing ears we forgot to feel the mofu.

>>2703952
That's kinda disconcerting
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>>2703966
It's kind of likely with some of the write-ins
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>>2703669

>I heard there's some history in this country with marriages consolidating feudal powerbases? Sounds like you've been around long enough to see some.

>would you have marched with me.
>>
It's super fucking hypocritical to be thinking about fucking any of the girls after how pissed off we were at that minotaur.
Being a dad and adult means we should also be mature enough to know better as well. We clearly have a massive amount of anons suddenly thinking with their dicks instead of their dadheart.
This will also clearly result in something retarded happening to the brother/sisterhood bonds like (possibly literally) exploding them in our faces.
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>>2704003
I'll play devil's advocate for a while.
it wouldn't be hypocritical to us, because we are an adult that not only has the consentment from his wife, but we have the clarity of mind to not fuck in the middle of a reunion where your boss and a potential enemy is. Lets be honest here; we wouldn't have been as piseed off if karen had fucked the minotaur in her "off work" hours.
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>>2704021
This I don’t care if Karen fucked a Minotaur so long as it wasn’t during work or if she got pregnant
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>>2704003
While I agree that right now is not the time, I think that we sorted out that thing with the minotaur pretty peacefully. Didn't even kill him, which is what everyone seemed to expect. These kids have gone through a lot of shit, which I suspect has caused them to mature faster than most people. Could also have traumatized them. And what about Harriet? She's thirty plus years old mentally, which, as some anon said earlier, prolly means about 20 years maturity wise. She may actually even be older than you. So the age and maturity thing is an invalid argument. I suggest that if the prospective concubine seems to be of sound mind and is not just acting on her daddy issues then let her (and the wife) have her fun. We are very attached to everyone in the mg squad already anyway, so there's no problems wrt long term commitments.
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>>2704021
A proper father doesn't fuck his daughter's teenage friend with daddy issues, even if his wife is a hedonist.
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>>2704028
Yes they do, its your job to help your teenage daughters friend into adulthood if she wants it.
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>>2704028
but that is not related to being a hypocrite
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>>2704026
They clearly aren't mature enough if they're trying to sneak into the middle of a married relationship and Harriet still has a teenage brain as was pointed out several threads ago when our simply being a mature adult made us have more progress in a few days than she had in several years. Harriet is old but she still THINKS like a teenager. Reimu seems like (probably different from actually is) the only actually mature one so far in this quest and the rest are simply children playing at being adults because they are forced to. It's a flagrant abuse of our daddy position and if we were that eager to bang other females we'd have cheated on our wife before today and she'd have left us.
TLDR you're thinking with your dick.
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>>2704039
> Technically it's hebephilia, the argument

You're going to get exposed and locked up eventually if you keep trying to justify fucking kids, buddy.
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>>2704101
>Its morality anon again.

Man I sure wish I could have a stick up my ass all the time even when it comes to fake things.
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>>2703669
>I met that one suspiciously sane yuki-onna in your court that was friendly and not trying to hurt anyone. It's a wonder she had stuck around. Are the neighboring landlords just as grumpy or just not welcoming? Will they be jealous that you're starting to get a nice deal with the humans? Will we have to rule on magical Edo too?
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>>2704108
(You)
>>
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>>2703880
>We gotta get off namek
I was wondering whether Namek, Soul Society, or THE BOAT was going to get referenced first as a joke about the Visiting the In-Laws Arc.

>>2703884
>our Boat and we're stuck on it for life
THE BOAT comes in at second place.
>The issue is that the girls, and really everyone around is, is such a better option for fixing that.
Writing a story where the MC is possibly the weakest one of the cast (although he's no slouch) is an interesting challenge.
>"respect their cultural values" of friendly stabbings
I was actually a little surprised when you guys let Sue fight Sachio earlier. The MC's adjusting a little.

>>2703883
>the women are all slavish waifu-bait with barely any independent thought or personality.
Fuck, I hate that. The worst part of so many VNs is that once a girl becomes the Route Girl, she loses most of what makes her a cool character in general.

>>2704039
>porn plots: the post
Not that there's anything wrong with porn plots, but they usually get pretty boring pretty fast.

>>2704070
>the only actually mature one so far in this quest
Oddly enough, she's a lot like the MC in some ways - they're both normal humans trying to deal with the supernatural. She got the advantage of coming into an existing (fairly) stable system, instead of getting thrown into the deep end of a broken system like the MC.
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>>2704126
My sides
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>>2704126
Is this Sexy Losers?
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This is magical DAD quest, not make our daughter think we're a sexual predator and hate us to cause a stock market collapse in dadenomics quest.
>>2704126
I probably forgot to add an exasperated sigh to my vote when it happened. The main reasons why we let it happen (imo) was that both Sachio and Sue were clearly ok with it, the only property damage was their own,they both actually like swordfights so vetoing is like telling MJ and Magic Johnson (I know i'm dating myself a bit) that they can't play a 1v1 basketball game, and there were none of the other responsible adult reasons not to in the way. So it's less magical psychopathy and more like two people with a weird definition of saying hello.
It's better that they learn to do that with properly consenting individuals than randomly attacking people who might not be as durable as they are in the middle of a street.

I have my own weirdo addition to the theory as to why gods in America are weaker as you seem to have plotted out.
It has to date back to the conquistadors. The Aztecs practiced a massive amount of blood sacrifice, but it was mostly to prevent the sun from being blotted out and everyone dying. In order to conquer them you need to also be able to dispose of Coyolxauhqui before the blood sacrifices get too low as that's one of the gods/demons that is/was going to eat the sun if they stopped buffing their hummingbird god with sacrifices. After the major world enders got finished off by the alliance against the Aztecs, the Colombian exchange did a number on the remaining gods on both continents since popularity is slightly related to power and/or whatever the gods consider to be wealth. We saw that evidence when we did the accounting for Zeus and his wealth was measured in some sort of deity points that went down once he wasn't as worshiped.
What happened after that is anyone's guess, but the Aztecs perfectly illustrate just how dangerous it is to rapidly break down an unknown culture without taking the dangerous shit down first.
population in the Americas might have lowered but the misc afterlife warriors that might exist getting a sudden surge also could help defeat anything similar to Coyolxauhqui in North America while there was no clear European threat.

PS . The physical location to Mayan hell was found a few years ago so that's at least 3 prime locations if we don't just ask Kelly's daughter to reconfigure the portal to hell into a portal to Buddist/shinto bureaucracy so that we can learn the patented Yama-lock.
There's also some story that I find funny about an Indian brave that (my memory is extremely bad here, probably making completely false information that's actually less impressive than the real story) outran a bunch of horses without sleeping for a week straight while also fighting and proceeded to taunt them when he somehow was across a giant fucking river.
The official record states that he is clearly a wizard which is why they gave up trying to chase him.
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>>2704189
Accepting them swordfighting isn't the same as approving of it.
>>
>>2704189
I also think that Coyote has been slowly getting power creep on the down low this whole time.
America has never been able to get rid of coyotes no matter how hard they tried, they're now cross breeding with dogs to infiltrate cities even harder, anyone with a passing knowledge of native American myth knows of coyote, and he's a fucking trickster which generally makes him both the hardest type of god to defeat. the most dangerous, and the most loved by mankind.
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>>2704185
It's called short cuts
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>>2704185
>Sexy Losers
Thats a titlei haven't heard in a long time...
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>>2704189
>stock market collapse in dadenomics
That's a great euphemism. Writing a character who COULD do something and decides not to because he thinks it would be wrong, or he's not interested, or he's being responsible is more interesting than not having the opportunity in the first place, or just taking the opportunity straight. I think that applies to the contemplated Attack on Tokyo as well.

>I probably forgot to add an exasperated sigh to my vote when it happened.
I think that attitude was implied from the dialogue chosen.

>So it's less magical psychopathy and more like two people with a weird definition of saying hello.
Look, they're learning! Fuck, is that accidentally a theme in this quest? Actually, Sue's calmed down a lot from her first appearance. Although it might not be obvious, Sachio's actively trying to act more stable, now that he's attempting to live up to being the family head. When you first met him, he was a guy with a murder-happy sword in his head and a rather strained set of family relationships, drinking himself to death while contemplating parricide.

>>2704279
>That's a title I haven't heard in a long time...
It's still funny as fuck. I think there are several of us in here who still remember it fondly, judging by a Kenta's horny mom joke someone made in an earlier thread about Liska. Now that I think about it, it's even more relevant now.

This one's from Sun-Ken Rock, I believe, a series that has been a quasi-influence on this quest. Why do I have multiple screencaps on this topic?
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>>2704326
Bruh I've had that same screencap in a folder just labeled "unusable reactions" for years now. Can't believe I didn't post it.
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>>2704326
>Sue's calmed down a lot from her first appearance.
i'm assuming that that happened because we hit her with magical girl bullets that mixed up with her bloodlust and altered her lust. Now that the effects have worn out she still wants us, but not reaching the "deepthroat the shotgun" levels.
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>>2704414
I thought it was because we gave the kids a stable influence and they weren't fighting alone against monsters until they too became one, and that they have a chance of living long enough to have regrets now.
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>>2704114
She's probably one of those children from yukki onna stories where a guy gets spared by a yukki-onna, doesn't realize the wife he later gets is said yukki onna, then accidentally fucks it up, and the yukki onna takes the kids with her?
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I stopped at thread 3 thinking that this quest would end but now i see that anons are arguing if we dick the MG team that our daughter has is....very arousing.

Oh well enjoy.

This is my first and probably my last smut because i'm not a writer myself

https://pastebin.com/KzKViSHm
>>
>>2704814
The world becomes a brighter place every time a new work is added to it
>>
>>2704814

I don't think I could add something vanilla like that. My attempts to write something veer towards grimdark however I start.
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>>2704414
>because we hit her with magical girl bullets that mixed up with her bloodlust and altered her lust
I think I'm more in line with >>2704435. Sue deciding the MC was hot stuff after he blew her arms off was just Sue, not some sort of magic. I'll take 'Sentences I Never Thought I'd Write' for 500, Alex.

>>2704364
>Can't believe I didn't post it.
Mostly because it's not actually relevant, but it's close enough to be funny. Liska did leave Melon out of her little list.

Sun Ken Rock has some wonderful faces / reaction images, and occasionally great art. Fun read, particularly the part near the end where the author seems to have suddenly just snapped and decided to write a Tarantino movie instead of a quasi-comedic mafia romp.

>>2704814
>I stopped at thread 3
Mistake. I'm really trying to not let this become another half-finished work dropped by the wayside. I've done that before, and it sucks.
>>2704814
>now i see that anons are arguing if we dick the MG team that our daughter has is....very arousing.
Apparently you're not alone. I'm kind of with you, but I don't think the MC's going to let himself think about it, if he can help it. The tension between the fact that it's hot, the fact it would create endless problems if it actually happened, and the fact that the MC's got some very legitimate reservations about it is fun.
>i'm not a writer myself
Eh, I'll read it anyway. There's something admirable in the courage to write something and put it out there.

>https://pastebin.com/KzKViSHm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-oKZDNMy4Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjlNjiftFPo
Help, I'm dead. Two people have written smut for the most innocent quest I've ever run.
Although I kind of want to edit this - you cool with me doing that? It should mostly be a grammar edit, but I'll probably do some rewriting.

>>2704843
>vanilla
Yes, kidnapping people and chaining them to beds is vanilla. Very vanilla. The very definition of vanilla.
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>>2704868
https://youtu.be/_oVwrpfo_QA

Think this is the kind of apocalypse scenario we may get?
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>>2704868
please post your edited version.
>>
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We're going live again once I figure out where I left the plot.

>>2704884
Would I tell you if it was? Or did you mean "...if we fucked through the magical girls with Liska"? I'm not really sure at this point.

>>2704903
I started on it, but I'm thinking I might as well just continue questing instead.

Also, I'm thinking there are a couple sections I'd rewrite heavily enough for characterization that I might as well just do a Mary NON-CANON interlewd from scratch.
>>
>>2704910
Feels like it was rushed too. Also the sex buildup is also rushed but hey a fap is a fap.
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>>2704910
could it be both?
Regardless I think it's just a bad idea to get involved with the girls, we already have a woman.
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>>2703669
"I only got a couple bites of breakfast earlier," you say, ignoring his look. You're not quite sure who's the fisherman and who's the fish on that one.

"Hopefully the waffles haven't got cold," Sachio says, "I swear that's the western invention my father took to fastest."

You can't blame the guy, even with the other things you've heard about him.

And that lifespan included the introduction of guns, didn't it?

"By the way," Sachio whispers, as the two of you start walking back toward the castle, "were you serious last night? Or was that 'March on Edo' the sword?"

You can't quite read his eyes.

"Would you have marched with me?" you whisper back at him.

"Then," he whispers, "I would have. Probably could have scraped up more youkai on the way, and maybe some humans if we played the cards right. But after sleeping on it," Sachio continues, shrugging, "look at the valley," he says, stabbing a hand at the front walls of the castle complex, "I've got that many people to worry about now."

"If it's any comfort," you tell him, "it was just a rhetorical device to jolt you guys out of chasing your tails."

Sachio grins, as the two of you walk back into the main hall.

"We were rather going on, weren't we?" he asks, raking his gaze across the town's dignitaries at the high table. And you know a few of them know that much English.

"Ah," Sachio says, sitting down, "there's a time for talk, and a time for action. And a time for waffles."

You can't agree more.

The waffles are good. And you're glad to see the various factions at the table talking amicably with each other, in various languages.

Although you're just slightly concerned about that intense conversation Shelby's having with the ex-politician.

Is he thinking about taking up his father's profession?

>Listen in on anything you can hear in English, preferably [WRITE IN]'s conversation
>Talk to [WRITE IN]. (Writing in topics will be helpful.)
>It's breakfast, and a good one. You enjoy it.
>Liska, were you joking earlier?
>WRITE IN

[FYI, the folks at the high table are you, Liska, Sachio, John, Reiya Hamasaki, Kelly, Shelby, and the 'village elders'. Looks like Melon and Haru scarpered off.]
>>
>>2704814

>https://pastebin.com/KzKViSHm
So the running gag of every lewdbin is Melon saying X HE IS MY DAD?

What about Melon? What will she say? Will Liska retaliate HE IS MY HUSBAND MELON!
>>
>>2704961
>>It's breakfast, and a good one. You enjoy it.
some relative peace and quiet for a change.
>>
>>2704961
Thank You based Waffles.
>It's breakfast, and a good one. You enjoy it.
>Ask Liska after breakfast is over if she was joking.
>Hope really hard she was just joking.
>>
>>2704961
>>Talk to [WRITE IN]. (Writing in topics will be helpful.)
Get to know Hamasaki
>>
>>2704965
21:03 - 21:15 Voting period and such. Doing shortvotes because things seem to die in these threads around 01:00 the next day.

>>2704963
>So the running gag of every lewdbin
That's been a running gag in the actual quest the whole time.
It wouldn't be a FMMDAMGQ lewd scene without it!
>What about Melon?
No comment. Pic related.
>>
>>2704961
>>It's breakfast, and a good one. You enjoy it.
>>
>>2704961
>>It's breakfast, and a good one. You enjoy it.
>>
>>2704961
>It's breakfast, and a good one. You enjoy it.
>>
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>>2704961
It's a breakfast, and a good one. You enjoy it.

And you've never tried having salmon sashimi draped over a waffle, but after Liska deftly slides a piece on while you're not looking, then smirks at you as you notice, well you don't really have an option.

That's pretty great. You're no food critic, but they blend nicely.

It's a little hard, not being able to understand most of the conversation around the table, but laughter is a universal language, and it seems Kelly has some damn funny stories, with that delivery that draws down to near silence, and hits the punchline in a whisper.

Stories of assassination? Just jokes? Innocent anecdotes?

You don't know, but the 'town elders' laughing along seem like they wouldn't really be down with tales of murder.

Even if you don't get the language, it seems like everyone's having fun, and enjoying their food as much as you are.

'Enjoying their food', huh. Your eyes scan the hall, but it looks like the youkai are treating the townsfolk as companions rather than meals.

There's some web of ties and loyalties here you don't understand, that's forming right under your eyes.

Then a tengu glides in, over the heads of the diners, and kneels before Sachio.

You could swear it was a birdlike creature with a long nose for most of that flight, but there's a girl in a skirt with black with on her knees by your brother in law. He breaks off his conversation with Kelly, and says one word:

"Report."

"They're he~ere!" she says, with a sort of forced cuteness.

Then your eldest brother in law stands up, and slashes one arm to the side, with a curt yell in Japanese.

The hall falls silent in seconds.

"Government flood recovery guys," he says in a low voice in your direction, then starts giving orders, and what sounds like a fragmentary speech, in Japanese.

The assembled masses listen, and then, as he finishes with a final command, or exhortation, the place explodes into activity.

"He's telling then to look human or hide," Liska whispers at you, "and a rather blanket threat about what happens to anyone who gets found out. Blanket and nonspecific."

That only makes sense for someone in his position, you think, watching the youkai clear out of the hall at breakneck speed. And before you know it, you're out with the tide.

"Why?" you ask Liska, as she pulls your through the door.

"Less things he has to explain, the better," your wife tells you, "and I don't want to get stuck listening to him and the geezers negotiating."

You can see a number of youkai jump the castle walls and disappear into the mountain forest.

>Want to take a walk? And what you said earlier - you were joking, right?
>I've got a couple of questions for Haru
>Think that's going to go well?
>I think I should be in there
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2705038
>>I've got a couple of questions for Haru
>>
>>2705038
>>Think that's going to go well?
Want to just go for a nice leisurely walk?

Do not mention anything from earlier, throw it out of our mind and completely forget it!
>>
>>2705038
>>Think that's going to go well?
>>Kelly, do your thing; look quiet and dangerous, stand next to him.
>>
>>2705038
>Think that's going to go well?
We could use the peace.
>>
>>2705049
21:59 - 22:10 Voting period and such.

>>2705038
>a girl in a skirt with black with on her knees
Fuck me, should have been "a girl in a skirt, with black wings, on her knees"

Did you guys really think I wasn't going to use another image from that series?
>>
>>2705038
This
>>2705052
>>
>>2705038
>We should probably find Melon and Sachio.
>>
>>2705038
>>Think that's going to go well?
>>
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>>2705065

>not using best birb
>>
>>2705038
>Lets go for a walk. we haven't had any actual leisure time.
>Think your brother is gonna be done with his basic training before we have to go back? I was hoping to have at least one day for us to go explore japan, get everyone souvenirs, and I still haven't done that appraisal I used as my cover story for the sword.
>>
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>>2705038
"Think that's going to go well?" you ask Liska.

"If it doesn't," she says, grinning at you, "we can always take Edo, right?"

"But it should," Liska says, a little more serious, "I know you couldn't hear it, but from the way they're talking, I think the guys that run the town are with Sachio now. He's probably got blackmail on someone who writes checks in the government, too. John's the prodigal son who's returned with money he'd love to use to save his hometown. And Hamasaki's a good negotiator."

That's a decent team to have, you think, walking away from the main building.

Then Shelby walks out of the door behind you.

And you realize the assassin's still inside.

Kelly could throw a huge wrench into things, if he tries...

"Dad's gonna play an estate lawyer, boss," Shelby says, walking up to you, "since there's recently been a... hostile takeover," he finishes, grinning.

Well, if the guy's been murdering all over the globe for years, he probably knows something about laws, right?

And if he's an assassin, he knows how to play a part, you think.

>Let's go find Melon and Haru - make sure they know what's going on. I don't want those guys seeing any 'foxfire'.
>Liska, let's go for a walk (and talk about WRITE IN)
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2705100
>>Let's go find Melon and Haru - make sure they know what's going on. I don't want those guys seeing any 'foxfire'.
>>
>>2705100

>Let's go find Melon and Haru - make sure they know what's going on. I don't want those guys seeing any 'foxfire'.
>>
>>2705100
>Let's go find Melon and Haru - make sure they know what's going on. I don't want those guys seeing any 'foxfire'.
>>
>>2705100
>Let's go find Melon and Haru - make sure they know what's going on. I don't want those guys seeing any 'foxfire'.
>>
>>2705102
22:30 - 22:40 Voting Period.

I can't help but think this song embodies some of the feelings the youkai have about the mountain and the castle: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77hneLgt33k
I'm drawing a very odd parallel here, but enough of it fits.

>>2705093
>>not using best birb
When I need someone with a nuclear cannon on her arm, I'll get art for someone with a nuclear cannon on her arm.
>>
>>2705065
Send Shelby as a messenger to tell Haru and Melon about the government officials. The fact that we got sent out means we won't blend in when we try to leave after sending the message.
>>
>>2705100
>>Let's go find Melon and Haru - make sure they know what's going on. I don't want those guys seeing any 'foxfire'.
>>
>>2705093
I personally would have preferred aya or Hayate to have a camera with them. It gives more character to the portraits.
>>
>>2705100
>Let's go find Melon and Haru - make sure they know what's going on. I don't want those guys seeing any 'foxfire'.

>>2705093
Would there be a nuclear powered raven within the assortment of entities yesterday, I wonder.
>>
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>>2705093
I dissent your choice of best bird.
>>
>>2705110
What about when you need an innocent and naive crow girl who trades weapons for shiny things running around our house giving out weapons for us?
>>
>>2705142
This one is just because it's funny.
>>
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>>2705100
Suddenly, you realize that Melon and Haru were supposed to be practicing magic today. 'Foxfire' or something.

Oh, that would be BAD for anyone to see.

"Let's check up on Melon and Haru," you say, "make sure they get the message," and you start walking toward that rock garden.

You're finally learning to find your way around this place.

"I'm going back to bed, dear," Liska says, pecking you on the cheek, "beauty sleep, you know?" she asks with a wink, darting toward your room.

Shelby just sort of looks at you in awe.

"Boss," he says, in nearly worshipful tones, falling into step alongside you.

"We all marry above our station," you tell him, striding forward.

So he isn't beyond being friends with your daughter, but he's trying, and Melon's thinking about him, but he seems to dense to get it?

Or she's too dense about revealing it?

That nuclear core analogy struts into your mind again.

And, hell, if the guy wasn't after your daughter, you'd give him tips. A few years of happiness, as Liska told you. That's all any of us get, isn't it?

At least they wouldn't meet the way you met HER. Neither of you can remember it, fer chrissakes.

Better to just let it play out, you think.

And before you know it, you're walking into the rock garden where Haru's training your daughter.

Great, now the rocks are levitating between them AND ON FIRE.

"Release," Haru breathes out, and they fall, the flames extinguished.

"Government guys in the main house," you say, looking across the garden, "kill order on anyone who makes them think this place isn't normal."

Haru looks at you as he gets up, brushing dust from his clothes.

"He really is the family head now," he says, striding toward you, then turns his head to Melon, "no lessons 'til they leave," he tells her.

She nods, and then Shelby's walked up to her, talking some kind of magic stuff.

Hell, that's English, but you have no idea what it means. Wizards.

"Let's take a walk," Haru mutters, coming up to you, "through the garden."

Well, that's not what you'd expected. No 'filthy gaijin'? No insults?

"Sure," you tell him, "lessons going well?"

"She's got it already," he says, with a slight smile, "dunno if it's the fact she used magic before, but she's good at it. Credit to the family."

>What, no insults?
>Glad to hear it.
>Were you actually playing "Stacy's Mom" outside my room this morning?
>Nice garden you've got here.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2705165
>>Glad to hear it.
>>Were you actually playing "Stacy's Mom" outside my room this morning?
>>Nice garden you've got here.
Still don't really like the guy, but there's no need to aggravate things between us.
>>
>>2705165
>Nice garden you've got here.
>Glad to hear it.
>>
>>2705168
Agreed.
>>
>>2705165
>Were you actually playing "Stacy's Mom" outside my room this morning?
>>
>>2705165
>Think she'll be good enough with her lessons for me to take her to somewhere in the rest of Japan before I have to leave? It's a wonderful house, but I expected us to maybe see more of japan than it and the airport while here.
>>
>>2705165
>>Glad to hear it.
>>Were you actually playing "Stacy's Mom" outside my room this morning?
>>Nice garden you've got here.
>>
>>2705168
Supporting
>>
>>2705165
"Glad to hear it," you say, as the two of you pace the garden, "nice garden you've got here."

"It took a few hundred years," Haru says, "we built it around that tree there," he tells you, gesturing at a pine jutting out of the gravel.

So this garden is probably older than your country?

Probably not a good idea to bring that up, given his history.

But there's a question you've got to ask, given some thing you heard this morning, and your eyes flit to his face.

"Were you actually playing 'Stacy's Mom' outside my room?" you ask. So that's how John's been playing cards all over the world for hundreds of years.

The man doesn't even blink.

"And what would make you think that?" he asks, very neutrally.

"Melon yelling about an 'uncle'," you say, "and I don't think your brothers play the guitar. I could be wrong..." you trail off, giving him an out if he wants one.

But you see a smile creep across his face.

"It was too good to pass up," he says, "we'd set the stuff up for a Clock Strikes wakeup call, but I heard the commotion and," Haru says, grinning at you, "it was too funny to pass up."

Yeah, it's dangerous to live around people with supernatural hearing.

But isn't the song they played pretty damn American?

"How'd you get the drums out of the corridor that fast?" you ask, because you're sure you heard them. And you saw nothing in the hallways afterward.

"We're fucking youkai," Haru says, "think we can't move a few instruments?"

Youkai roadies. Now THAT'S a scary thought.

"I've heard a lot of stories over the past few days," Haru says, suddenly turning toward you, and you realize the two of you are basically alone, and there are enough trees around that nobody could see you.

>Good ones?
>Did you bring me out here because you want round two?
>You guys did a damn good cover.
>While teaching Melon?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2705235
>>While teaching Melon?
>>I suppose she brought up the softball team, though I suppose locally it'd be an idol group.
>>
>>2705235
>Good ones?
>While teaching Melon?
>>
>>2705235
Oh no he's gonna suck our dick anon 0w0
>>
>>2705235
>Good ones?
>While teaching Melon?
>>
Night you guys. I will now will you all to secure Hamasaki as a playmate for Melon whenever she hangs out in japan without us.
>>
>>2705182
could be nice, at least we could check out the closest not-flooded valley with the daughter this morning.

>>2705235
>I'll have to deny having taken any part in the donkey incident.
>>
>>2705235
>Good ones?
>While teaching Melon?
>>
>>2705235
>While teaching Melon?
>Good ones?
>>
>>2705235
>While teaching Melon?
> Damn it, Sue didn't fight you too did she?
>>
>>2705264
>>2705261
Support
>>
>>2705235
>Good ones?
>While teaching Melon?

Oh god what kind of ammunition did she just give her uncle Haru? What sort of embarrassing things about her dear old dad did she let slip?
>>
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>>2705235
"IF HE HAS BROUGHT YOU HERE FOR A DUEL," the sword says into your head, "YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO KILL HIM, WIZARD OR NO."

You're hoping it doesn't come to that.

But, if he walked this way for a reason, you can't count it out.

"While teaching Melon?" you ask, hoping it's not really going to come to that.

"Most of them," Haru tells you, "we do talk, when we're not meditating in silence. I'm glad you gave me the opportunity to get to know my niece."

Is he still trying to not admit she's your daughter?

"Some you saw me get from the rat," he says, and Freebles pokes his head out of your pocket. Wait, he only fought Freebles. How did he get a story out of THAT?

Is combat actually a form of communication for these folks?

"And I've talked to the rest of your faction, at least the ones I met," he says, gripping one shoulder with a grimace. You wonder if he fought Sue. You were asleep...

"Were they good stories?" you ask him.

"You've certainly risen above your blood," Haru says, staring you in the eyes.

The hell does he mean by that?

"I'm afraid I've got to apologize," he says, "to a man who... just picked up a shotgun to save his daughter, to save my niece, without a second thought," he tells you, looking around the nest of trees like he's searching for an enemy, "I am your brother in law, and you are Sachio's brother. And you remind me of someone."

You think you see what he's driving at, but it almost seems as if there's a final fence of pride those dark eyes won't cross by themselves.

>Freebles, get the cups and banners
>Remind you of...?
>At least they didn't tell the bad stories
> Thanks for training Melon
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2705288
>>Remind you of...?
>>
>>2705288
>Remind you of...?
>>
>>2705288
>Remind you of...?
>>
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I'm checking out. Sorry about the short run, but it's around 1AM here.

Twitter for the next runtime: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

Questions/comments/death threats/etc., on this post or in thread, responded to as I see fit and all that.

I try to avoid it as much as I can, but there are good and bad options on the most recent choice.
>>
>>2705288
>>Freebles, get the cups and banners
>>
>>2705288
I dunno if he's cool getting soul-bound to a demon.

>WRITE IN
> Well yeah, you've lived a long time. You must have met plenty of dad's like me in that time.
>>
>>2705296
Is this Boondock Saints? He reminds me of the gay transvestite cop.
>>
>>2705288
>>2705301
Also

> Apology accepted. A lot of this stuff is new to me too, so I might do some things that offend without thinking. There's no malice behind it.
>>
>>2705301
>>2705305
Supporting
>>
So am i gonna expect from anons to have a MinotaurXKaren? or DadXHarriet? or DadXshotgun
>>
>>2705373
No, none of that period, no X anything, no Minotaur either, see that thing again outside of the apocalypse, voting to kill it.
>>
>>2705397
your hatred to "Angus" is very high anon
>>
>>2705373
As much as I like shipping this needs to stop. At the very least try to stop the coming doom that will end the world in a year before trying to build a harem like some generic anime protagonist that takes advantage of girls with daddy issues.
>>
>>2705419
If you want to play matchmaker, go to another quest, there is no place for this faggotry, and the reason I hate the minotaur is that it took forever to deal with the fallout of that event that bull is 'Angus burger' if he shows his face again.

>>2705427
This anon gets the big picture at large.
>>
>>2705296
>I try to avoid it as much as I can, but there are good and bad options on the most recent choice.
Oh fuck, we've done it now.
>>
>>2705429
The Bull belongs to Bernie, it's over move the fuck on.

All the girls have been fucked by someone, none of your waifus are pure.
>>
>>2705575
Melon a pure, faggot.
>>
>>2705595

That's what she tells her dad, yes?

Not like we can ask her. That would be a height of autism. Maybe she boned one dude after a crazy fight and he died right away.
>>
>>2705575
Only waifu I have is actually the wife, I've moved the fuck on, it's faggots that want to keep shipping and bringing up the minotaur has as little relevance as a name fag without a purpose.
>>
>>2705595
Not with handholding
>>
>>2705288
>>Remind you of...?
>>
>>2705288
> Well yeah, you've lived a long time. You must have met plenty of dad's like me in that time.
>Or are you talking about my sister?
>>
>>2705288
>>2705301
>>2705305
supporting these two
>>
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Going live as soon as I write up the next post.

I feel like this thread has become a hilarious example of having our cake and eating it too.

>>2705244
I laughed, but I feel like that would kill the quest super hard, and it wouldn't be in character for either of them.

>>2705302
It's another Sun-Ken Rock pic.
>>
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>>2705288
"Well," you say, admiring the trees, "you've lived a long time. You must have met plenty of dads like me."

Haru make a scoffing noise, and you look back at him.

You can't read his face.

"You'd be surprised," he tells you.

"And I accept the apology," you say, looking into his closely guarded eyes, "this is all new to me, so I might do some things that offend without knowing. There's no malice behind it."

"YOU ALLOW HIM TO SAVE FACE," you hear the sword inside your skull, as surprise briefly flashes across Haru's features, "EVEN WHEN THE FAULT IS ALL HIS."

The two of you stand there for a second.

"I think," Haru finally says, "we're nearing the end of what I can teach Melon, unless she wants to really study magic. Smart kid."

That's, uh, shifting the topic without a clutch.

"She'll have to keep practicing it, of course," he tells you, "but at least she knows how to do that now."

"Thanks," you say, and he turns to walk away.

"If you go after the rats," he says over his shoulder, "count me in. They tried to seal off her heritage," he finishes, and you can almost hear his teeth grinding.

That was not exactly what you'd expected, you think, watching you brother in law's back recede through the trees.

'Unless she really wants to study magic', huh. Given what you've seen, that's not a happy thought. Bu she is doubly tied into this world - by birth and by contract.

And Haru just volunteered to help fight the rats?

Hmm.

By the time you walk out of the trees and into the main garden, he's vanished. Melon's sitting on a bench, waving her hands in the air as she describes some magical concept to Shelby. Other than their drifting voices, things are quiet.

>Go bother the kids
>Go find that suspiciously sane yuki-onna
>Go drag your family out for a day of sightseeing
>WRITE IN
>>
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>>2705823
>Go find that suspiciously sane yuki-onna
>>
>>2705823
>go see Kelly about upgrading your arsenal
>>
>>2705823
>>Go drag your family out for a day of sightseeing
>>
>>2705831
Support
>>
>>2705823
>>Go bother the kids
>>
>>2705823
>>Go drag your family out for a day of sightseeing
Let's spend some time outside the castle and valley for once.
>>
>>2705828
11:00 - 11:20 Voting period, as it's the first one.

>>2705831
>>2705835
Kelly, along with Sachio and the guys who run the town, are stuck in a meeting with the Flood Recovery guys from the government.
>>
>Kelly, along with Sachio and the guys who run the town, are stuck in a meeting with the Flood Recovery guys from the government.

Well then.
>>2705823
>Find a peaceful spot and take a nap. You've gone through a lot in tese last few days and could really use the rest.
>>
>>2705823
>Go drag your family out for a day of sightseeing
Important things are done for now, time to do Dad things.
>>
>>2705823
>Go find that suspiciously sane yuki-onna

let our wife rest, people
>>
>>2705859
Could just grab Melon, seeing as we went out with waifu recently.
>>
>>2705823
>Go find that suspiciously sane yuki-onna
More info?
>>
>>2705859 brings up a good point

>>2705823
>>Go find that suspiciously sane yuki-onna
>>
Yuki:
>>2705828
>>2705859
>>2705864
>>2705865

Sightseeing:
>>2705834
>>2705838
>>2705845
>>2705851

Tied, looks like.
>>
>>2705871
or not
Yuki has it
>>
>>2705871
>>2705823
>Go find that suspiciously sane yuki-onna
>>
>>2705823
>>Go find that suspiciously sane yuki-onna
>>
>>2705871
I think >>2705872 has it. >>2705845 is marked [DELETED], so I'm counting it out.

Adding more characters is going to slow this story to a glacial pace.

>>2705859
>let our wife rest, people
>let's go bother another youkai woman
I might have a dirty mind, but I hope you're not implying what I think you're implying here.
>>
>>2705878
of course not, this is not pokemon : gotta dick 'em all edition
>>
>>2705878
I bloody hope they aren't going that direction.
>>
>>2705878
Any option offered is implicit approval that action. Don't offer options if you don't want to write them.
>>
>>2705881
>>2705882
What these guys said.
>>
>>2705878
>2nd spoiler
Nah. I was actually hoping we could ask for tourist spots regular humies or tourist monsters might visit.

Come on, Ryūgū-jō.
>>
>>2705878
>more characters
At least when we get back home you can quietly ditch most of the minor characters.
>>
>>2705823
Might as well let the kids talk, you think, wandering out of the rock garden. At least they're having fun.

And not having fun perpetuating the insanity of this place. Is there something in the water here? This trip has just been one spiral of absolute crazy. One of your brothers in law tried to kill you, then his brother really did kill their father (and Kelly would have done it if you hadn't stopped him), and...

Wait, are they really meeting with the guys from the government at a table the has the White Fox's head nailed to the wall behind it?

They'll figure something out, right?

What even happened after that? You met your mother-in-law, who apparently had run out of her marriage to become a land goddess, and then there was the flood after Sachio talked to her, and the evacuation, and the attempts to stems the tide, and, wait, did you actually stage a rock concert of sorts? With Melon singing?

There has got to be something in the water.

But, well, at least you managed to make things 'not as bad as they could have gotten' at every step.

That counts for something, right?

You're deep enough in thought that you round a corner and slam right into someone.

There's a confusing fail of limbs, an attempt to regain balance, and then you're on the floor, and the temperature's dropped about fifteen degrees.

You're kind of laying on someone.

The insanity hasn't stopped. It's like this place operates on a set of rules that enforces it.

"Could you get up?" an icy voice asks you, and you clamber to your feet.

It's the yuki-onna from the other morning, you realize, as you extend a hand to help her up. It feels like her hand's been in a freezer for years.

"I'm Yuki," she says, as she smoothes her clothes after standing up, "and you're the lord's brother, aren't you? I believe we met on the range."

>Sorry about bumping into you like that
>Know any good places for sightseeing around here?
>Guilty as charged
>You seem surprisingly reasonable
>WRITE IN (Questions and directions for this conversation are appreciated)
>>
>>2705936
>Guilty as charged
>Know any good places for sightseeing around here?
>>
>>2705936
>Good work at the range, thank you for that. Say, if I wanted to take the kids ice skating...
>>
>>2705936
>>Guilty as charged
>Sorry about bumping into you like that
>>You seem surprisingly reasonable
>>
>>2705936
>>Sorry about bumping into you like that
>>Know any good places for sightseeing around here?
>>
>>2705936
>Guilty as charged, that was fun
>Sorry about bumping into you like that
>How did you end up in this castle, if you don't mind me asking?
>>
>>2705939
12:07 - 12:20 Voting period or so.

I'm starting to have weird posting errors. Apparently 4chan thinks I'm a robot.

>>2705880
>>2705881
>>2705889
>pokemon : gotta dick 'em all edition
That's a great title. I don't think I'd be a good writer for it.

>>2705882
It's an implicit statement that I'm willing to write them. That's slightly different than approval. And I'm mostly thinking about the folks that have been suggesting actually talking to her (which is why I even offered), versus people asking when we'll get off Namek / back from soul society / off THE BOAT.

>>2705902
Are you reading my mechanical mind?
>>
>>2705950
Man if we had marched on Edo you'd have had to step up your cast bloat to rottk levels. Dodged a bullet there huh?
>>
>>2705936
>>Sorry about bumping into you like that
>>Know any good places for sightseeing around here?
>>Guilty as charged
>>
>>2705936
>Sorry about bumping into you like that.
>You seem surprisingly chill for someone that hangs in this madhouse
>Know any cool places for sightseeing around here?
>>
>>2705954
Tite Kubo once said "when I don't know what to do, I add another character". I'm trying to avoid BLEACHing out over here, Tolkien is small potatoes.
>>
>Sorry about bumping into you like that
>Know any good places for sightseeing around here?
>You seem surprisingly reasonable
>>
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>>2705936
"Guilty as charged," you say, "sorry about bumping into you like that - this trip's been a little overwhelming."

"Don't worry about it," she says, smiling, "you seem like a~n-ice person."

She's balancing the 'n' so perfectly that you can't figure out whether that was intentional or not.

"And you seem surprisingly chill for someone who hangs out in this," you say, and then realize the pun, "uh, madhouse."

Yuki giggles at you.

"I've been told I have a cold personality," she says, "but if you think I'm frigid, you must have missed my dance the other night."

Oh. Then she was one of the ones gyrating on the tables the night your arrived.

Does that really qualify as 'crazy', though? Well, the way most of the other folks here do?

"I must have," you tell her. Hell, you're pleading ignorance on that, since you were on top of her, entirely innocently and accidentally, just a minute ago.

"Thanks for your help on the range, by the way," you say, hoping to change the topic.

"It was my pleasure," she says, "your daughter has a cool hand. And things have been very interesting since you came, so I figured I'd try repaying you."

You look at her smile, and feel like a traveler caught in a snowstorm. Shit, you almost forgot the legends for a second there. And she's thankful for the chaotic changes that have been happening since you showed up?

"If you are," you tell her, "I'm looking for decent sightseeing spots around here."

"Anything in the valley's a bit of a wash," she says, grinning, "and anything that needs a road... well, you're kinda frozen out."

So you're stuck. And she's making puns about it.

"But I can recommend hiking on the mountain," Yuki tells you, "even if you don't get to see the snow."

>Anything worth hiking to?
>How'd you end up in this castle, if you don't mind me asking?
>Think Sachio's going to get things sewn up in there?
>You seem like an ice person yourself
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2705997
>Anything worth hiking to?
>You seem like an ice person yourself
Pun War Now!
>>
>>2705997
>>Anything worth hiking to?
>>
>>2705997
>Anything worth hiking to?
>You seem like an ice person yourself
>>
>>2705997
>Anything worth hiking to?
>How'd you end up in this castle, if you don't mind me asking?
>>
>>2705997
"You seem like a-n ice person yourself," you say, "is there anything worth hiking to around here?"

Yuki smiles again, with a cold grin.

"We're rather... ice-olated," she says, "there's really just the countryside, but," she continues, throwing one hand out toward the sparse greenery surrounding the castle, "isn't it chillingly beautiful?"

You can't help but admit that there's a certain charm to the naturalness of it. A rugged beauty of trees that managed to cling to life against all odds.

"Even if the valley's a wet blanket," Yuki finishes, and then you feel something.

Rice.

Grain.

Fermentation.

Rain.

A farmer's struggle.

A pressure, bending your back like it had been picking weeds in a field its whole life.

Yuki stumbles forward, and grabs onto you for support against the tide of energy, then you see a fox between you and the treeline. You can't count it's tails, but you know it's your mother in law.

Well, that's not going to be good for negotiations, you think.

And maybe not good for you, since that's your mother in law watching a yuki-onna cling to you like she'll melt if she moves an inch away.

Can they feel it in the main hall?

Just when you think things can't get any worse, T.T. appears in a wreath of illusory flame.

"We're having some problems, brothe -" cut say, and then the pressure hits him too.

His knees buckle a little, but he stays standing.

"I trust I'm not interrupting anything," he says, eyeing the woman pressed against you, and arching an eyebrow.

>It's not like that
>Someone deal with the land goddess, please
>'Problems'?
>Get Sachio, Yuki.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2706038
>Go towards the Mother in law with a translator

Its time to have a one on one with the in-law. She's hurting way more people then she should be.
>>
>>2706038
>'Problems'?
>Someone deal with the land goddess, please
We stood up to Mary, we should be able to stand up to MIL if no one else will.
>>
>>2706038
>I think my mother in law wants to talk to me
>>
>>2706038
>>WRITE IN
Hello, Mom.

How the hell did we marry? shouldn't liska's parents be on the wedding? were those decoys or something like that?
>>
>>2706038
>My mother in law just showed up, so it's probably important
>Yuki, you can translate for us, right?
>>
>>2706060
Shotgun wedding

>>2706038
>Get Sachio, Yuki.

>T.T, I think we're on the cusp of one of those romantic comedy misunderstandings
>>
>>2706038
>yuki->sacchio
>Problems meanwhile
>>
>>2706038
>>2706069
Oh you've got to be kidding me. I'll take this write in.
>T.T, I think we're on the cusp of one of those romantic comedy misunderstandings
>>
>>2706069
but we also met them in a previous trip. were those decoys? or did our mother in law became a goddes between these two trips?
>>
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You can assume I'm doing 10-15 min voting periods if I don't say anything, or 20 if I'm being lazy.

Write ins are always considered for inclusion just for being write-ins, if I see them while writing, as long as they can fit with winning vote options. (If they compete with the voted options, then I care about how many people support them.)

>>2706060
If they were involved, the White Fox showed up to give his daughter away, and the MC assumed he was a widower and didn't ask awkward questions.
>>2706069
>Shotgun wedding
I doubt it. They figured out they wanted to be together, no coercion necessary. Now, whether it was a JP cert or a full party, who knows?
>>
>>2706081

no no, shotgun-kun officated the wedding of course!
>>
>>2706081
it was a high level shotgun joke but it's ok I understand :)
>>
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>>2706038
"T.T.," you say, much as Blofeld would say 'Mr. Bond', "I think we're on the cusp of one of those romantic comedy misunderstandings."

He looks at you. And at the snow demon nestling into you. And then at the goddess in the garden.

"Shit," he hisses, stepping toward you.

So he didn't realize she was the source of the pressure?

"We're in her territory," he mutters, almost in your ear, "and I'm really not sure about the mountain surviving if she wants to take us. Something like her," he whispers, "almost won that fight in Japan."

So they managed to drag the local god into it? At this point, you shouldn't be surprised.

"I think my mother in law wants to talk to me," you say, foisting the fading Yuki off onto T.T. with something like a wrestling disengagement.

You can't decide whether he looks more betrayed, anxious, happy, or just glad you're not taking pictures.

In a couple seconds, he just looks cold.

"Hello, mom," you say, walking toward the fox.

Why the hell did she show up now?

You can't figure out what her eyes hold, and then you hear footsteps behind you.

"I will deal with this" Reiya Hamasaki mutters, then says,"they come to help. They will restore this place," she continues, and then repeats it in Japanese.

You hear a low growl from the fox, and some sort of commotion behind you, near the castle.

You glance over your shoulder. T.T. has dragged Yuki around the corner, just in time to avoid Sachio, John, Kelly, the town 'elders', and a lot of Japanese guys in suits filing out of the main hall.

"She might be here for me," you whisper at the shrine maiden.

"She may be here for them," Hamasaki says, twitching her head back at the delegation, "but if it is for you, what would you say?"

>WRITE IN
>>
>>2706121
>Hi?
Dunno, do we have anything to say to her? Maybe "Control yourself better so the valley doesn't flood again"?
>>
>>2706121
That her clan is in good hands, her children are great and as their sworn brother we promise to, uh, do great. Things.
>>
>>2706121
Have you met your granddaughter?
>>
>>2706121
>Hello, Thank you for giving me the chance to fially meet you in person and for having such a wonderful daughter who has given our daughter the best experience of her life. That she is welcome to see her at any time with us and that we'd have no issue letting them meet.

Also to please stop hurting the town folks or the nearby area, its time to let the past lie and move onto a hopefully brighter future.
>>
>>2706121
>Your lovely granddaughter is being a teenager, I'm taking care of it
>>
>>2706141
Support + nice to meet you in person
>>
>>2706142
What are you smoking? There's no indication that she has been hurting the people, the flood is over and they all made it OK. Don't accuse her of doing harm when all she did was spend one day grieving her husband, or whatever it was.
>>
>>2706121
>>2706141
+1
>>
I just realised that our father in law is a monster
When we where talking about visiting the in laws there was some talk abouts liters full of baby foxes that was in reality our siblings in law and now we only have 3
>>
>>2706192
So eather he sent them all away before our arival or he killed them all
>>
>>2706192
>>2706203
Or haiku changed his mind on how this was going to play out between him saying that and us actually getting there.
>>
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>>2706121
"Have you met your granddaughter?" you say to the shrine maiden.

She gives you surprised look, but starts saying something to the fox in Japanese.

"And I'm glad I got to meet you," you continue, "thank you the chance. I think the clan is in good hands - Sachio seems to have more of your in him than..." you trail off.

Hamasaki keeps translating, until she turns to you and says "she wants to meet her."

Those are tense eyes. The eyes anyone sane would have when dealing with a deity.

But you didn't hear the fox say anything.

"Melon!" you yell back at that rock garden, "get over here - meet your grandmother!"

You can't imagine how this looks to those suited suckers who thought they were coming here to talk about flood relief.

Well, you think, as Melon runs out past T.T., Sachio's got enough blackmail to make anything disappear. And rice, rain, and farming are all that matters - she's pushing at your mind. It's an effort to stay standing.

You can't understand the expression on your daughter's face as she rushes past you. But you see her gritted teeth, pushing onward through the wave that threatens to flatten everyone.

And the bureaucrats are on their knees.

Even Sachio has a grimace on his face, and Kelly's coughing behind a pillar.

But Melon keeps running, and finally throws herself on the fox goddess, hugging the furry deity tight.

You could probably write in chalk on the tension in the air.

"Bro," Freebles whispers from your pocket, "this is bad. She could wipe us us all out."

Yeah, you had guessed.

The moment drags on, as you watch Melon pet the goddess, and scratch her behind the ears.

Then your mother in laws licks Melon's face, and the weight lifts.

And you can hear the birds and cicadas again.

"A strange method," Hamasaki says, and then she begins to... dance? In front of her goddess.

Things calm, notch by notch, as Melon pets her grandmother and the shrine maiden dances.

Until, finally, the fox leaps from Melon's arms, and bounds away into the woods.

>Uh, Hamasaki, is that normal?
>Uh, Sachio, you think that's going to fuck negotiations?
>Uh, Melon, you did great. Seems like your grandmother liked you.
>Uh, I've got to go find T.T.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2706210
Yes but they where still there previously and they are not there now so someone or something must have made th disaper
>>
>>2706141
>>2706121
Distraction Carni- er, children!
>>
>>2706192
or maybe they were normal foxes.
>>
>>2706216
>>Uh, Hamasaki, is that normal?
>>
>>2706216
>Uh, Melon, you did great. Seems like your grandmother liked you.
> Did she talk with you at all?
>>
>>2706203
Eh, I’d just figured the younger Kitsune weren’t considered noteworthy enough to get an introduction, and we were just meeting the older, important siblings.
>>
>>2706216
>>Uh, Sachio, you think that's going to fuck negotiations?
>>Uh, Melon, you did great. Seems like your grandmother liked you.
>>
>>2706231
I prefer to think that our father in law is somehow even more of a monster and did some active culling of the family.
>>2706216
>Uh, Melon, you did great. Seems like your grandmother liked you.
>>
>Uh, I've got to go find T.T.
Shit is supposedly happening
>>
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>>2706224
15:18 - 15:30 or so Voting period.

>>2706192
>talk abouts liters full of baby foxes
They might have had other relatives around when you visited - this can't be the only family of kitsune in Japan.
>>2706203
>>2706231
Also a possibility. But given that the father in law's wife ran out on him hundreds of years ago, I doubt they're his. Or maybe he had concubines or something. Or it was relatives.
That doesn't prelude his having killed them, though...
>>2706210
More 'forgot' than 'changed his mind'. But there are still explanations I can grab! And you pointing that out means I have to think about what they could be.
>>
>>2706251
Well I was trying to be polite about it buuuuuut you also mentioned the mc having visited them before but now he's surprised at the huge Castle when they arrived. Was it like a decoy house or what?
>>
>>2706216
>>Uh, Melon, you did great. Seems like your grandmother liked you.
>>
>>2706216
>Uh, Sachio, you think that's going to fuck negotiations or scare them into submission? I might have an issue to check on, is there a room with some privacy from our guests?
>T.T. suddenly sprouts a pair of fox ears and fails to realize it. The officials have yet to notice it as well if they're nearby
>>
>>2706254
I think it was more the pre/post masquerade effect. (And the research the MC's done.) Before, it was more "oh, ok, they live in this cool big house on a mountain", and after it was "oh shit, this is a fucking feudal holding, a tanuki drove me here, and there's a guy in the courtyard trying to kill me!"

You're really not wrong, but I think there can be explanations.
>>
>>2706268
It could also be servant/branch houses. There would have to be an absolutely massive amount of inbreeding if there weren't other kitsune around.Or one of the brothers could have had a bunch of teenagers whom have now moved out that thought it was fun to mess with MC via being in fox form the whole time.
>>
>>2706216
>Be safe Ma'am, It was a pleasure to finally meet you!

>Pet Melon on the head, and ask how she liked her grandmother?
>>
>>2706278
Why is Japan so weird about patting womens heads in manga.
>>
>>2706283
dunno. maybe its because they lack conctact in general.
>>
>>2706283
it does kinda feel nice.
>>
>>2706283
It's probably just something easy to animate/draw. You only have to move an arm instead of a full contact hug/etc.
>>
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>>2706216
"Hey, Melon," you saying, running toward your daughter, "you ok?" you ask, picking her up off the ground.

"I'm fine, dad!" she says, "although that was, uh..." she trails off.

"You did great," you tell her, as you give her a hug, "seems like your grandmother liked you."

"I think so," Melon says in your arms, "that was intense. Crazier than any other drug I've..." and she looks up at you guiltily, realizing who she's talking to.

Great.

Fucking great.

Although you can't exactly claim moral high ground on this one.

But, uh, Melon's tried enough to...?

You're going to have to deal with that later. Eventually. Somehow.

"Did she talk to you?" you ask your daughter.

"Uh," Melon says, looking up at you, "sort of? I think she's happy mom found you, or, uh, 'someone worthwhile' and had me. But I've also got this craving for rice. It's really weird."

If you were having trouble standing at that distance, you can't imagine what Melon was going through when she tried to pet the goddess.

And you're 'someone worthwhile'? Hell, that's a better title than you'd give yourself.

"I think," you say, ruffling your daughter's hair, "that's just her. And you did good."

But you can see something else in her eyes. Farming, crops, rain - aren't those usually a fertility deity's portfolio?

Fuck.

Ok, you're keeping her away from Shelby until this wears off.

"Get some rice," you tell her, releasing her from the hug, "and just rice. We'll talk about the rest later."

She nods into you, then breaks off toward the castle.

>Hamasaki, is this normal? Oh, and does your goddess do fertility as well?
>Sachio, are we still good with these guys?
>T.T., you said we had problems back home.
>Just sort of walk away.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2706327
>Hamasaki, is this normal? Oh, and does your goddess do fertility as well?
>>
>>2706327
>>Hamasaki, is this normal? Oh, and does your goddess do fertility as well?
>>T.T., you said we had problems back home.
>>
>>2706327
>>Sachio, are we still good with these guys?
>>T.T., you said we had problems back home.
Oh, Melon, what have you been getting into?
>>
>>2706327
>>Hamasaki, is this normal? Oh, and does your goddess do fertility as well?
>>
>>2706327
Don't tell me she tried Marijuana....LSD?

So much for our Melon being pure. She probably joined an orgy from being high and shit
>>
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>>2706331
I guess Liska would have been even more puzzled at having had a single kid.

>>2706327
>T.T., you said we had problems back home.
>>
>>2706327
>>Hamasaki, is this normal? Oh, and does your goddess do fertility as well?
>>Sachio, are we still good with these guys?
>>T.T., you said we had problems back home.
>>
>>2706327
>T.T., you said we had problems back home.
>Hamasaki, is this normal? Oh, and does your goddess do fertility as well?

I'm sure Sachio has got this and that we'll get an update later. T.T Came to find us, so it's probably important. Melon seems to be in a daze right now.
>>
>>2706327
>T.T are those troubles a right this instant thing or a I have a few minutes thing?
>>
>>2706354
I'm wondering how she was going to explain having 4-6 kits, instead of 1 child.

>pic
is that from the vn?
>>
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>>2706327
"Hamasaki," you ask in low voice, looking at the shrine maiden, "is this normal?"

"It is not a technique for placating a god I have been taught," she says. She's still sweating from the dancing.

"I mean the," you begin, but you're not sure what the rights word are, "the," you say, and tap your head with a finger.

Her eyes widen a little, as she realizes what you're talking about.

"I eat rice every time I return from tending to the shrine," she says, "and I have never had such close relations with the goddess. She is truly her granddaughter?"

"Absolutely," you tell Hamasaki, "I was there."

That's something that, well, you'd do it again, but it was a terrifying experience. And you've always hated hospitals.

"I thought meeting with the children of gods was only in legends," she says, "or in, uh, cheap novels," she says, and her cheeks go a bit red, "I do not know of any case of this happening. But I guess, from what we felt," she says, looking up at you, "she was in the center of a storm. It is amazing that Marion walked away."

Great, people only tell you how dangerous it is after you let your daughter do it.

"I guess I get the rice," you say, "but does your goddess do fertility too?"

You really can't read that expression. Hamasaki looks up at you with eyes you can't interpret.

Does she think you're implying...?

Oh, hell no.

"Eating rice is not all I do after tending to the shrine," she says, her eyes trying to bore holes in your face, "are you, oh," she says, her face growing less hostile as she puts a few pieces together.

"Yes," the shrine maiden tells you, "she does that too. And Marion..." she trails off.

Wonderful.

Absolutely fantastic.

Well, you know where Liska gets it.

"She has communed with the goddess," Hamasaki continues, walking back toward the castle, "more than I ever have. Then that means she... I do not know. This is beyond anything I have ever seen."

Great. You're just not going to think about it.

And you're going to kill any man who gets near Melon in the next few hours.

But didn't T.T. say there were problems back home? This shit never stops.

You stride over to the wizard, where he's hiding the yuki-onna from the committee who's come to help out with the flood.

Hamasaki's giving what might be a religious lecture to the guys in suits. You have no doubt they'll be firm shintoists by the end of the day.

Seeing a god does that sort of thing.

[1/2]
>>
>>2706498
tell Yuuki to keep Shelby busy for the next 10 hours or so tell Yuuki to keep Shelby busy for the next 10 hours or so tell Yuuki to keep Shelby busy for the next 10 hours or so
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
>>2706498
"Trouble on the home front," you ask the wizard, "tell me, brother."

"A duke of Hell showed," he tells you, "apparently enough of his guys had come to our 'paperclip in the arm' beacon that he decided to see what the deal was personally."

Fan-fucking-tastic.

"And are the girls alright?" you ask, your first thought for their health.

"Everyone's fine," T.T. tells you, "he didn't want a fight, well, not that fight. He parley'd - he wanted to duel our leader."

You can see it on the wizard's face. This demon is something he never wanted to see.

"Do I get to choose weapons, as the challenged?" you ask him.

"We could probably swing that," T.T. says, shuffling his feet, "but it would be a lot fucking better if you negotiated it yourself - there's a three-fucking-story demon outside of town who wants to duel you. And he's probably getting antsy."

Shit.

>Take me back there.
>Let me grab my family, and Kelly's crew - Freebles will port us out
>I'm calling in a favor with my brother in law.
>I think you need some tea.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2706545
>Let me grab my family, and Kelly's crew - Freebles will port us out
>>
>>2706545
>>Take me back there.
>Freebles, encant me some HE slug rounds please.

Its time to test out that new shotgun!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g77sLmw-UcY
>>
>>2706545
>Take me back there.
>Freeblies, I need more slugs
>>
>>2706554
17:14 - 17:30 or so voting period.

KNOCK KNOCK, IT'S THE PLOT, IF YOU MESS AROUND IN JAPAN, TIME TO GET SHOT!
I'm half joking, as usual.

>>2706572
>Its time to test out that new shotgun!
You probably want Kelly along if you want dope equipment.
>>
>>2706545
>>Let me grab my family, and Kelly's crew - Freebles will port us out
>>
>>2706545
>Take me back there.
>Let me grab my family, and Kelly's crew - Freebles will port us out

Perhaps leave Marion here for now? I'm not sure she's in good enough condition to be fighting after meeting her grandmother.

>WRITE IN if we see Shelby
> Hey, just so you know, Marion is high on her grandmother right now - long story short: Earth Goddess - So, if you try and take advantage of that and I find out, and I will find out, I will have your head. This is the only time I am giving you permission to break my daughters heart if she tries anything.
>>
>>2706545
>Let me grab my family, and Kelly's crew - Freebles will port us out
>>
>>2706598
>Freebles, encant me some HE slug rounds please.
>Take me back there.
>Let me grab my family, and Kelly's crew - Freebles will port us out

>WRITE IN if we see Shelby
> Hey, just so you know, Marion is high on her grandmother right now - long story short: Earth Goddess - So, if you try and take advantage of that and I find out, and I will find out, I will have your head. This is the only time I am giving you permission to break my daughters heart if she tries anything.
>>
>>2706545
>>Take me back there.
>>Let me grab my family, and Kelly's crew - Freebles will port us out
It's been fun, but we gotta go.
>>
>>2706598
>>2706545
Sounds good.
>>
>>2706598
I'd rather Melon stay where we can see her, preferably with her mother as she's likely have some experience with the 'fertility god in your head' thing.

Though if we do leave her here, Sheby is part of Kelly's crew, and so would be with us.
>>
>>2706650
Our dsughter has to face the same dangers as her friends, bro. Price od leadership.
>>
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>>2706545
>Ask Haru if he has any tips on fighting a duke of Hell in a duel?

I'm thinking we choose some form of game.
Mancala being a great example since it's a solved game so if we have first turn and know the trick we automatically win. I don't think a redneck would know mancala though?

I knew it was about time to shut things down and make it look like an emo kid overdosed on demon juice via explosion. I clearly should have mentioned that idea earlier.
>>
>>2706667
I think i figured it out. We make a band and defeat the Duke in a guitar battle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lK4cX5xGiQ
>>
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>>2706545
You dart your head around the corner and catch Kelly' eye.

He gets you with a nod, says some things to the other folks around, and walks to you.

"What's up?" he begins, and then he sees T.T.

"Are we fucked?" Kelly asks, and you could swear he has a smirk on his face.

"Duke of Hell came through," T.T. mutters, "wants a duel with our boss, so I think we might be screwed."

"You know that 'my bodyguards' or 'my honor guard' is a weapon in those things, right?" Kelly asks the two of you, and then flicks a lighter, "you, me, our daughters, and those other magical girls," he says, breathing out a cloud of smoke, "you think we can't take a D-Class and his dishonor guard?"

That puts a different spin on it.

"You're right," T.T. says, "but that guy's honor guard is damn spikey."

"Then let's get our brother and his honor guard back there," Kelly says, "gimme a couple minutes to explain I've got another client who's had an emergency," he tells the two of you, then walks back around the corner toward Sachio and the rest.

You look at T.T.

"You go back and fob him off," you say, "I'll round up my family and Feebles can take us there. Right, bro?" you ask, and that's one enthusiastic nod you get from your ferret.

"Not sure how much time I can buy you," the wizard says, as he tears a hole in space-time's ass, "get them fast."

And he vanishes.

Alright, you're on a timer. You start running for your bedroom, and almost slam into Shirou.

"What's goin' on, Boss?" he asks.

"Get to that corner," you tell him, pointing, "and Melon's just had a heart-to-heart with a fertility goddess."

As the two or you pass each other, you say "and if you take advantage of that, I will end you. If she wants it, shut her down. It's not her. Only time I'll give you permission to break her heart - if she tries something."

You can see the understanding, and the terror, in his eyes.

Terror's a good thing.

In a few seconds, you're slamming open the door to your room. Liska's still asleep.

But Melon's not. She's doing something with labored breathing, under the sheets, that seems to peak a few seconds after you run in.

"Dad!" she yells, "uh, you're my DAD!"

Fuck it, this is your room.

"Demon duke's challenged me to a duel," you yell, "beauty sleep's over!"

And you're not going to let yourself think about what Melon might have been doing.

"Five minutes," you say, looking as Liska's sleepy eyes, "don't bother with makeup - you don't need it."

She grins as you retreat out into the hallway.

You walk back to the corner, and find Kelly and his son.

>Guys, you know we might die doing this?
>Kelly, how's the arsenal look?
>Freebles, how much stuff can you enchant to kill demons?
>How do you think that meeting went, Kelly? After a goddess showed up?
>WRITE IN
>>
>Freebles, how much stuff can you enchant to kill demons?
>>
>>2706739
>>Kelly, how's the arsenal look?
>>Freebles, how much stuff can you enchant to kill demons?
>>
>>2706739
>Shirou
Do you mean shelby or am I not paying attention to names? I suck with names, especially japanese.
>>
>>2706739
Start prepping but ask if a rock battle, game, or something like that counts as a duel for the purposes of the challenge. The biggest mistake you can possibly make is to play on their terms. They know how to cheat and win.
>>
>>2706739
>Kelly, how's the arsenal look?
>Freebles, how much stuff can you enchant to kill demons?
>>Or maybe enchant something to protect from demons?

>Shirou
hah
>>
>>2706744
18:14 - 18:30 Voting period and such.

>>2706765
>>2706770
>Do you mean shelby
>Shirou
Yes, I meant Shelby. I fucked that up, given the images I'm using.

This is a danger of running quests drunk.

>>2706690
>>2706767
I already wrote Rock Quest.
>>
>>2706784
Then one of our brother in law's had better have skill in go that's absolutely heavenly.
>>
>>2706739
New plan, Shelby comes with us. Put Haru on Melonguard duty.

It would be cruel to let Melon test him while like this.
>>
>>2706767
Pffft. Like we won't cheat as well.

Besides, he can't take our soul without fighting our sister.
>>
>>2706797
If our sister is a subordinate then she might sabotage the Duke's side.
>>
>>2706739
>Kelly, how's the arsenal look?
>Freebles, how much stuff can you enchant to kill demons?
>>
>>2706797
>>2706838
A lot of assumptions our sister would even help, care about or remember us, it's hopeful and I would love that too, but always be prepared for her to be very violent towards us.
>>
>>2706838
There's a lot of obstacles before she'd get to that point, but it would be useful.

I'm wondering if she'll look the same, or if she'll remember anything, or if she'll recognize us. It's been, what, 30 years or so?
>>
>>2706849
Should have thought of that before we weebed our way into a magical knot.
>>
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>>2706739
"Kelly," you ask, "how's the arsenal look?"

"I'm having some trouble with the drone guy - trying to iron out when they'll get there," he says, taking a drag on his cigarette, "but it's something already."

"Freebles, bro," you say, and the ferret pops out of your pocket, "how much shit can you enchant to kill demons?"

"Uh..." he says, his eyes rolling back into his head, and then they suddenly snap forward, "how much do you have? The girls have been busy."

So he is skimming the energy off their kills.

Then Sachio walks around the corner.

"Please tell me you're not plotting another coup," he says, arms crossed, and eyes darting toward Kelly.

"Actually," you tell him, "I just have to thank you for your hospitality. There are some problems on the home front. I have to leave due to issues in my... territory. I hope things go well here."

"Ah," he says, then drops his voice to a whisper, "they've really listening to Hamasaki. Seems like they all had a religious experience."

Well, if you'd come in and seen that scene, you probably would have too.

"Square it," you say, as you see Liska and Melon and Liska walking up, "I think the two of you can handle it. And I really do thank you for your hospitality. Wish I could have stayed out the whole trip with you."

"We'll have to do it again sometime, brother," Sachio says, as Freebles does SOMETHING, and you're suddenly in a warehouse.

"Alright," Kelly yells, "everyone grab a vest, everyone grab a gun!"

"And I've got some good shit for you," Kelly says to you, grabbing an armful of of bandoliers from a box, "firestorm rounds, AP slugs, HEAT, you name it."

"Bless them, bro," you say to the ferret. Although you're pretty sure by now that nothing around a rat is 'blessed'.

Hey, the term still works.

"The heavens cry out!" Freebles yells, jumping from your pocket, "the earth cries out! You feel it in your bones, your feel it in your steel! You feel - DESTRUCTION!"

"Bro," you say, in a chiding voice, "that's uh..."

But you can feel that everything in the warehouse has changed. There's a pressure in the air now.

Like a thousand guns want to kill the world.

"What did you do?" you ask the ferret.

"I just, uh," Freebles says, "enchanted them. Everything in this warehouse. They'll kill demons now."

You feel like you're holding a hair trigger on the world.

>Freebles, I heard some idiot wanted to take me.
>Freebles, I heard there's somewhere we should be
>Freebles, what the hell did you do?
>Kelly, when do the drones get here?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2706887
>>Freebles, I heard some idiot wanted to take me.
>>Freebles, I heard there's somewhere we should be
Time to rally the troops and go fight a demon duke
>>
>>2706887
>Freebles, I heard some idiot wanted to take me. Know anything abkut these types?
>Freebles, I heard there's somewhere we should be
>Kelly, when do the drones get here?
>where are the girls?
Information update pls?
>>
>>2706887
>Freebles, I heard some idiot wanted to take me.
>Freebles, I heard there's somewhere we should be
>>
>>2706897
19:15 - 19:25 Voting period or so.

>>2706887
>you see Liska and Melon and Liska walking up,
Well, I cocked that up. It's just Liska and Melon,
>>
>>2706887
>Freebles, I heard some idiot wanted to take me.
>Freebles, I heard there's somewhere we should be
>>
>>2706887
Wait the weapons? not just the ammo? Oh my.

Do we know if magical weapons work better against conventional as well, or are they strictly anti-magic bonuses?

I suspect Kelly is going to want to talk to Freebles about some arms dealings after this is over either way..
>>
>>2706887
>Kelly, when do the drones get here?
>>
>>2706887
>Freebles, I heard there's somewhere we should be

Can Kelly get us a tank?
>>
>>2706916

can we use magic to somehow get a Metal Gear


but seriously a tank would be awsome
>>
>>2706887
>>Freebles, I heard some idiot wanted to take me

also grab some rando rebar of the ENTIRE warehouse is enchanted.
>>
>>2706916
If he can get predators, he can get tanks. Though it's important to note there a difference between acquiring something and using it. If we go rolling down the street in a tank, normals will notice.
>>
>>2706887
>Freebles, I heard some idiot wanted to take me.
>Freebles, I heard there's somewhere we should be

I really hope we didn't just drain a ton of what the girls have been building up the past few days. I mean, I know we're dealing with a Duke and thus need firepower, but still...
>>
AMERICA FUCK YEAH BRING ALL THE GUNS
>>
>>2706887
>Freebles, I heard some idiot wanted to take me.
>Freebles, I heard there's somewhere we should be
>>
>>2706939
>I really hope we didn't just drain a ton of what the girls have been building up the past few days.

If we take this guy out we will likely end up with a surplus of energy.
>>
>>2706975
What if we make him a subordinate instead though.
>>
>>2706986
Energy drain?
>>
>>2706966
We still haven't gotten actual numbers from TT and freebles so that we can sort that out via accounting.

I got a random idea. If there's some sort of terms of surrender going on then we can get them to be forced to tribute energy from themselves to cover our debts and we can play the whole thing as if it was an idea from the rats. That way if they escape or we somehow die the powers that be in hell have a grudge directly pointed at the rats.

Also let Illya know to do the call customer service on the Shinto/Buddhist afterlife plan incase we're incapacitated the more people notice what the rats are up to, the worse their positions tend to get.
>>
>>2706966

dont delet your posts faggot
>>
>>2706887
"Kelly," you say, looking around the warehouse, "it looks you know guys who know guys who know..." you trail off.

"So," you say, after a pause, "tanks?"

You think the assassin's about to collapse, he's laughing so hard.

"You know how much those cost, right?" Kelly asks.

Well, unfortunately, you do. Oh.

"And they're hell for operating costs and deployment, too," he finishes.

"Well then," you say, "hopefully we can just get a government to deploy them on our side."

"I wouldn't bet on that," Kelly mutters, as the rest of your family, and his, walk up.

Wow, the bulletproof vest on Liska...

That, uh, shows her off pretty well.

"Anyone know anything about what we're up against?" you ask.

Their eyes are all the answer you need. A storm of hatred. There's only one thing they know:

That demons die.

"Freebles," you say, "I heard there's some idiot that wanted to take me."

"Let's go, bro," he tells you, and then the world falls away.

...You are never going to really get used to this. Teleporting feels like your stomach's being grabbed from behind.

Through your spine.

"Fuck," T.T. says, just after you materialize, "I thought your weren't gonna show."

"SO THIS IS YOUR LORD?" you hear, thundering through your ears and skull, "SO HE IS NOT A COWARD."

That's a big fucking demon.

THAT'S A BIG FUCKING DEMON!

"Can your circle hold him?" you whisper to T.T.

"Maybe," the wizard whispers back, "but he'd call in his troops outside it. We kill him, or we die."

"You said you'd been negotiating," you say.

T.T. gives you a LOOK.

"He showed up and wanted a duel against whoever was pulling in his guys and killing them," the wizard says, "if he starts dragging his army into the city, we are royally fucked."

"I WILL DUEL YOU FOR THE CITY," the demon yells, "AND FOR THOSE I HAVE LOST TO YOU."

>I AM THEIR LORD! FIGHT ME! ONE ON FUCKIN' ONE!
>I AM THEIR LORD! I HEAR YOU WANT A DUEL - I TAKE MY HONOR GUARD AS MY WEAPON!
>T.T., this was probably a bad idea.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2707011
Challenge him to a game of twister.
>>
>>2707011
>>I AM THEIR LORD! FIGHT ME! ONE ON FUCKIN' ONE!
We got this.
>>
>>2707011

>I AM THEIR LORD! FIGHT ME! ONE ON FUCKIN' ONE!
>>
>>2707011
>>I AM THEIR LORD! FIGHT ME! ONE ON FUCKIN' ONE!
>>
>>2707011
>T.T., this was probably a bad idea.
That said,
>I AM THEIR LORD! FIGHT ME! ONE ON FUCKIN' ONE!
>>
>>2707011
>T.T., this was probably a bad idea.
> OI. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHAT DO YOU WANT. HOW DO I KNOW YOU AREN'T JUST SOMEONE TAKING ADVANTAGE HERE.
> AND DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO BIG? IS THE SHOUTING NECESSARY?

Well at least we can't miss. But we should point out that for someone who wants an honorable duel they're quite rude.
>>
>>2707011
>1v1 me scrub
>>
>>2707013
This...we must do what a normal dad will do...by doing normal dad things like a normal dad do.

>Challenge him to a game of twister.
>>
>>2707026
I was saying it as a joke but it is a legitimate tactic if we make sure he can't shape-shift. He's too big to get past the first spin.
>>
>>2707013
19:58 - 20:08 Voting period.

Well, this is going to be bad.
>>
>>2707011
>T.T., this was probably a bad idea.
>I AM THEIR LORD! FIGHT ME! ONE ON FUCKIN' ONE!
fucking hell we should have gotten an m60 or something like that
>>
>>2707029
I know...that is the point. I mean its too much violence we should go do something a normal dad will do as what this quest offers.
>>
>>2707011
>>2707013
>>2707026

>What type of duel you looking for, big guy? I got a game of twister back home I can send someone to grab.

No, it won't defuse the situation, but it might confuse it for a second so that we can light it the fuck up, /k/ style.
>>
>>2707038
Yeah, but the QM shot down my other idea for a guitar battle with all of those Yokai as the band so I think he actually wants some blood and violence right now.
>>
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>>2707039
It has to be looking down at us, so if it does anything that obscures its view of us (Looking up or putting a hand on its chin to think even as a joke) we start firing, hope everyone else follows suit and don't stop.

No matter what, remember maxim 37: There is no "overkill" only "Open fire" and "time to reload"
>>
>>2707011
Riddles and jokes are a common challenge.

Dad joke duel, here we come.
>>
>>2707044
I would have backed the rock battle.

Alternatively would he be willing to submit to a competitive audit to find out whose household is in better condition? The test of a true lord, bookkeeping.
>>
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>>2707011
"T.T.," you mutter, "this might have been a bad idea."

"You are fucking telling me," the wizard whispers at you, "so what are yo-"

"I AM their lord!" you yell, cutting him off, "FIGHT ME! One on FUCKIN' one!"

And you step into the circle.

"AND I AM GUSION!" the giant demon yells, "ARE YOU READY?"

You're not ready, but you're doing it anyway.

"UNLESS YOU WANT TO PLAY TWISTER!" you yell at him. Holy shit, he's tall.

"I AM A MASTER AT TWISTER," Gusion bellows at you, "IT WOULD BE UNFAIR FOR THAT TO BE OUR CONTEST!"

And then his wings slash down, sending him into the air.

Wait, he's a master at twister? How it that a thing?

Wait, Gusion. 'Reconciles friends', the Ars Goetia says. Well, twister can do that.

>I NAME MY HONOR GUARD AS MY WEAPON!
>I NAME MY SHOTGUN AS MY WEAPON!
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2707070
>>I NAME MY SHOTGUN AS MY WEAPON!
Shotgun-chan doesn't get as much use as she should. Let's fix that.
>>
>>2707070
>I NAME MY SHOTGUN AS MY WEAPON!
>>
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>>2707070
1d100 rolls, please, for ANY option.
>>
>>2707077
>>I NAME MY SHOTGUN AS MY WEAPON!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>2707080
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>2707080
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>2707070
>I NAME MY SHOTGUN AS MY WEAPON!
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>2707080
>WRITE IN
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoudYNeVn5E

> I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BRO DOWN WHERE WE'LL TALK OUR DIFFERENCES OUT!

But seriously

>I NAME MY SHOTGUN AS MY WEAPON!
> IF YOU SURVIVE, YOU ARE INVITED TO DISPLAY YOUR TWISTER SKILLS AT OUR NEXT BARBECUE.
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>2707070
>>I NAME MY HONOR GUARD AS MY WEAPON!
>>
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>>2707086
pic
>>2707091
thank you
>>
>>2707070
For some reason that twister response makes me imagine the Demon as like.

Spiky Randy Marsh.
>>
>>2707098
Super glad you didn't pick an option.
>>
>>2707070
Does that mean he's the absolute worst at monopoly since noone ever plays it the proper way so they unknowingly go by the house rules that make it end friendships?
>>
>>2707111
Wasn't monopoly originally made to show why monopolies in business are bad, and thus is miserable to play by the original rules?
>>
>>2707123
The original rules make it go by pretty fast. The problem is that noone stops to READ the rules and assumes they know them which leads to the several hour long games that never end because noone can get bankrupt.
>>
Should have done a logic puzzle. Make two pulled of matches. If he gets the same amount of matches as us or more he wins. You can draw from either pile. We draw first as the challenged. He could win by mimicking our moves. What we do is draw one match and set both piles on fire.

I'm also a few in the bag so feel free to call me an idiot.
>>
>>2707111
Thatr's why you play Dungeons and Park Place: The Masquerade

I feel it adds a dimension to the game when you can kidnap the other players dog, then magically dominate them to love you more than the other player.

We used the Monopoly to fuel the pettiest of spite little DnD roll-against games, pretending we were venture capitalists, robber barons, magnates of industry, wealthy playboys, hard bitten and bitter men who made their own money, lots of stuff.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>2707080
>I NAME MY SHOTGUN AS MY WEAPON!
>>
>>2707140
He's a demon that literally knows everything as a power. You don't outsmart him like that. Maybe if you did a reverse quiz show where you have to answer wrong since he has to answer correctly?
>>
>>2707070
. . . Does he not have any torso armor?
>>
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>>2707070
"I NAME MY SHOTGUN AS MY WEAPON!" you yell.

"YOU ARE A FOOL, AND I WILL DESTROY YOU," the three-story demon says, marching at you.

You are the weakest link in the supernatural ball of yarn you've created, aren't you?

Oh hell.

Fire.

Pump.

Pull.

The demon screams as the slug plows into his knee.

"I WILL USE YOUR ENTRAILS FOR GARTERS!" he yells, falling onto you, as his claws tear into your bowels.

"YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR ME ALONE," he says, and you can see T.T., out of the corner of your eye, do something.

"BANISH ME," Gusion yells at him, "BUT I WILL TAKE HIM WITH ME!"

Then things fade out.

In a haze of pain.

Did you fuck up by not relying on the people around you?

Just trying to duel a demon by yourself?

Maybe.


"Three hundred souls," you hear, blurrily, as you wake up. There's a fucking sack on your head.

"Four hundred."

"Six hundred."

"A thousand."

"Oh, we've got a fighter here!" That's got to be the auctioneer.

You still can't see anything. But you can hear the maelstrom of voices.

"Twelve hundred."

"Thirteen."

"Two thousand," you hear, in a feminine voice.

"Twenty-five hundred," In a draconic bellow.

"Thirty-hundred," and you have no idea what face you could put to that voice. Or if it has a face.

You lapse back into unconsciousness, vaguely aware of the numbers ticking up.

"Thirteen thousand, anyone want to FUCKIN' BEAT ME!? OR BEAT ME OFF?" jolts you awake.

And it seems like nobody does. You hear the gavel fall.

"Sold!" you hear, "to the duchess in the black dress!"

Then you're dragged off roughly.

Things run together after that.

And finally, you're thrown onto the ground.

You don't know how long it is until someone opens the door and pulls the sack off of your head.

But you'd recognize that face anywhere.

And it's flanked by demons.

"I'm really not sure what to say," your older sister tells you, as she rakes your chin with her fingers and pulls your head up to face her, "I thought you'd make it here one day, but not like this."

Elanor's still alive?

And she's... a duchess of Hell?

And she bid on your soul?

>Glad to see you're well
>I should have died in the desert, but I made it out somehow.
>I thought you were dead
>There's an auction house for souls? Thanks for bidding on me.
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2707220
Best end right here.
>>
>>2707220
>I should have died in the desert, but I made it out somehow.
>hugs
>>
>>2707220
>Hi, Mom and Dad say they miss you
>>
>>2707220
>Glad to see you're well
>But seriously, it's good to see you again.
>Attempt to bearhug our sibling whom we haven't seen in ages
>>
>>2707220
>If I'd known all it would take to see you again is fighting a duke of hell I'd have been edgier as a kid.
>hugs
>>
>>2707231
>>
>>2707220
>Glad to see you're well
>So how much do I need to get out
>>
>>2707220
>>I thought you were dead
>>Glad to see you're well
>>I should have died in the desert, but I made it out somehow.

Aw, I was hoping for more of a fight at least.

I'm all for being happy she's alive, but let's figure out if she friendly first. She's been down here a long time.
>>
>>2707236
>desert
The sandbox? Someday we need to hear some stories from our deployment.
>>
>>2707220
>Yeah, i fucked up.
>I should have died in the desert, but I made it out somehow.
>Glad to see you again, are you ok?
>>
>>2707225
21:04 - 21:25 Voting period or so.

If you'd brought in all the people that love you and believe in you, you would have won that fight. Well, now you're in Hell, have fun!
>>
>>2707241
That's the beauty of imagination, we make our own, but if I had to take a wild guess, I'd say that since we're almost in our 50's supposedly I'd say that'd make us 48 maybe? and it's 2018 I'd say that we were 30 before 9-11 so the only desert ops I think we would have been in was Desert Storm.
>>
>>2707247
After that second weapons vote, I had my suspicions. Still, the chance to be awesome was too good to pass up. And that seemed kinda cheaty, personally.
>>
>>2707247
we just have to get out, i'm sure that if we follow an old trail of dead demons...
wait shit we'd end up on Deimos or Phobos
>>
>>2707247
implying that it wouldn't have ended with everyone dying
>>
>>2707220
What's that supposed to mean? You're clearly the evil twin.
>>
>>2707254
[Spoiler] But Anon, we made that trail [/spoiler]
>>
welp now comes the raid on hell to rescue us
>>
>>2707249
Good job! There's a reason the pics I'm using for him have gray hair.
>>2707253
>that seemed kinda cheaty
Sorry. I thought it had been very well established by this point that the MC couldn't kill a high-tier demon on his own. And thus going in on one solo was basically suicide.
>>
>>2707270
But Freebles enchanted our stuff!

Nah this is fine. Never go backwards, retcons are how you end up with Hollow Quest.
>>
>>2707270
But why so old? We would've been in our early 30's when we had Melon, how old were we when we got married!?
Does this mean that Liska is into older guys?

Also, were we just banished to hell or did we actually straight up die, get torn up? it's the difference between whether we're a straight-up spirit or we are physically in hell.
>>
>>2707270
Isn't this like the second or third time you tried explaining stuff and it getting completely missed because it was just a one and done explanation?

>>2707274
>Also, were we just banished to hell or did we actually straight up die, get torn up? it's the difference between whether we're a straight-up spirit or we are physically in hell.
That sounds like something our sister can explain to us ingame.
>>
>>2707274
Since we cost 1300 souls, I'm guessing we ain't dead yet.
>>
>>2707273
I don't think Freebles made it to being a duke of hell.
>>
>>2707270
We've pretty well stomped everyone we've fought. There's obviously a ceiling somewhere, but it was lower than I expected. Ah well. I trust you to get us through this.

>>2707274
If we deployed, we could have easily not met her until mid-late twenties. And with her apparently shockling low fertility, and no rush on our part, 30's matches up.
>older
>fox lady 700 years old

I think we got dragged back when the big guy got banished.
>"BANISH ME," Gusion yells at him, "BUT I WILL TAKE HIM WITH ME!"
>>
>>2707220
I'm assuming that you guys forgot to give our sister a hug.
>>
>>2707253
Pretty sure the whole shotgun against a duke of hell was a horrible idea since we had no special powers. Hopefully sis still loves us
>>
>>2707280
Honestly I felt like it was pretty clear cut.

But so many people voted for shotgun I figured it would be better to try for a good roll for that. A nat 100 could have happened.

But really it's been pointed out multiple times that we are squishy.

Like the last time we fought a bigget demon and got stomped.
>>
>>2707270
Yeah, I don't think anyone had understood that at all.
>>
>>2707288
Also, I didn't want to fight an army.

Us getting stomped was probably the best way out.

I didn't think powerful demons would care enough to come at us, honestly.
>>
>>2707286
Nigga I'm one of the guys that voted we go hug our sister.


>>2707288
>Like the last time we fought a bigget demon and got stomped.
Which everyone simply waved off as us not having the right ammo types to pierce armor.
Hell even I did that.
>>
>>2707274
> Liska is into older guys?
Don't think that works for a Kitsune... she's kinda in her 700s currently.

> Also, were we just banished to hell or did we actually straight up die, get torn up?
>falling onto you, as his claws tear into your bowels.
Slash and splat.

>>2707220
...Well, can't say I didn't see that coming. Shoulda chucked in a vote when I had the chance. Oh well... Have to say, was hoping we'd get a fun fade out death and see the girls go second form for a split second or something, but that's not really possible with how we died, huh?

>>2707231
Supporting this. I don't think it's completely clicked with MC yet what just happened.
>>
>>2707286
I'm glad she's alive, but she's been down here a long time, and there are some interesting stories about her. Let's be a little cautious until we get a handle on her.

>>2707287
wasn't there also a risk of the demon calling up his army in return?
Here's hoping she still friendly.
>>
>>2707290
You mean aside from the MC statingit several times, and the QM discussing the difficulties of writing an underpowered character in discussion earlier this very thread?

Ever since we jobbed the demon that attacked Shelby, it's been pointed out that we're just a dude with a shotgun.
>>
>>2707513
> Nobody even wrote in using better ammo.

We were lazy here people. This is what we get for lazy rollplaying.
>>
>>2707280
Hmm lets do that

>>2707282
add an extra zero to that, you might be right considering that's virtually 13,000 people used to buy us.

>>2707285
>700 years
I realized what I said after I posted...

Also I'm not really an expert on desert storm, most I know is from Jarhead and if that were the case we dealt with boredom more than anything.
>>
>>2707518
You mean aside from being able to take on all the crazy demon & magic stuff that came at mc? That demon with the armor was an outlier at that point and it was going down too, Mary kill stole that one.
>>
>>2707282
i guess it's the souls of randos our sister killed that she's trading off for us
>>
they better fucknig raid hell to get us back
>>
>>2707520
Kelly reference a bunch a different ammo in the warehouse. I assumed we grabbed a bunch of it. Haiku doesn't really mess with that sort of granularity usually. I figured it would take care of itself. Don't really know how much good it would have done though, seeing sa he just walked over and fell on us while we stood there.

>>2707533
I hope they don't. Do you want them caught up in this mess? As we just demonstrated, demons are serious business.
>>
>>2707220
Now that I think about it, this would be one of those perfect moments of a Jojo 'To be continued' meme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Tdu4uKSZ3M
>>
>>2707551
In all honesty, this would be a good spot to end the chapter. Start the next part whenever QM is up for it.
>>
>>2707556
The thread is good for at least a week, if not two. This is a logical session stop point, but more writing is always good.
>>
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>>2707220
"I'm just glad to see you again," you say, and try to hug her.

That's when you realize your wrists are chained to the wall.

"Release him," Elanor says, and the two demons do it.

"Leave us," she tells them, and they obey again, filing out of the cell's door.

Then you hug her.

"I just," you say, pulling your sister into you, "I'm just happy to see you're ok."

"I'm not ok," she whispers, "I promise."

And those are a lot of very sharp teeth in her mouth.

"I thought you were dead," you say, holding her tighter, "I'm just glad to see you again."

You feel something wet on your shoulder.

"I should have died in that desert," you tell her, "but you've got a niece now. And a family to come home to."

"Do you know what those chains were?" she asks, sobbing, "do you know why your were up for auction?"

There's a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach,

Is this actualllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll~

And suddenly, you wake up in what looks like an ER. But it's probably your bedroom.

"We managed to pull his soul back," T.T. says, "give him another, uh..."

"5 cc's of morphine, got it," Alice says, looking over at her husband.

And she can't be too quick about it. Oh god, this hurts.

Liska's looking down at you with, you have no idea what's in her eyes, no idea what's in anything and why are things in things, anyway?

You probably passed out around then.

Next thing you know, you open your eyes.

>Liska's looking down at you
>T.T.'s looking down at you
>Your daughter and her friends are looking down at you
>Fuck it, they're ALL looking down at you
>Write in
>>
>>2707562
>Fuck it, they're ALL looking down at you
>Yes even the first demon we defeated is in the same room as them looking down at you
>>
>>2707562
>Your daughter and her friends are looking down at you
>>
>>2707562
>your sister is looking down at you
>>
>>2707562
>>Fuck it, they're ALL looking down at you
>>
>>2707567
>Fuck it, they're ALL looking down at you
>Yes even the first demon we defeated is in the same room as them looking down at you
>>
>>2707562
>Also Freebles is sleeping next to your head like a little blanket
>>
>>2707562
I don't know if I can bear their stares. Any of them.
>>
>>2707562
... you know, why the hell not
>Fuck it, they're ALL looking down at you
>Yes even the first demon we defeated is in the same room as them looking down at you
>>
>>2707562
... they brought us back just to kill us themselves for being an idiot, didn't they?
I just expecting something like that one scene from Pirates of the Carribean
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sAKteQsiahE

>Fuck it, they're ALL looking down at you
>>
FELLOW VOICES OF THE DAD

IT IS TIME FOR US TO ACHIVE DADHOOD. WE MUST LET THE SWORD DIG IN AND REACH ENLIGHTMENT. WE MUST BECOME THE TRUE DAD WHO WILL PROTECT ALL DAUGHTERS WORLD WIDE

Also maybe write a letter to the church or priest. I doubt the archs will take kindly to a arch-duke coming. And a dad fighting it
>>
>>2707591
You mean like... Nuns with Guns?...
>>
Maybe we should have the sword plunge our depths like it offered before.
>>
>>2707562
>The spirit of the sword is looking upon you.
>>
>>2707598
>>2707591
yeah, we should learn how to sword, even if we use the shotgun 99% of the time the footwork will probably help
>>
>>2707562
>Fuck it, they're ALL looking down at you
We probably need to apologize for being reckless.
>>
>>2707562 #
>The spirit of the sword is looking upon you.
>>
>>2707615
nah we already went through that, we figured it'd take too long to learn how to use it properly and there were plenty of others who could handle it better than we ever could so we'd be better off giving it to Sue.
Better to focus on what we know best as a Marine.
>>
>>2707623
An M4 might do us more good than the shotgun, fun as it is.
>>
>>2707623
something tells me that the sword could give us some turbo lessons
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>>2707623
>The sword who can impart memories or break them would't be able to teach us how to sword properly in a reasonable amount of time.

Brah, The QM said we could reach enlightmeant earlier if we mediated. Sword lessons will not stop a dad in need of saving his daughter.
>>
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>>2707562
They're all looking down at you.

Liska, Melon, T.T., Kelly, Sue, Alice, Iris, Mary, Harriet, Karen, Shelby, Einz, Rachel, Shirley, and flickering shapes you can't quite recognize.

"Time phantoms," Harriet whispers, "things you see from timelines where something like this happens."

That's not comforting.

You had more people around your deathbed in other timelines?

Or are you going nuts like the rest of them?

And then you see your sister, Elanor, walk out of the room.

And you call out, trying to reach her,


"He fell out of the bed about 3AM," Alice says to Liska, "this sort of thing is very delicate."

Your wife looks down at you like crayfish look at...

And you're gone again.


"Bro," you hear from next to your ear, "I know you can't hear me, but you're a great guy. And I'll bite anyone who tries to give you something suspicious."

You fade away.


"Melon's been coming here every day, Liska too," you hear in Freebles' unmistakable voice, "I just thought you should know, even if you can't hear me."

"I'm awake," you say, croaking through a dry throat, "and I'm alive."

"Holy shit you guys!" Freebles yells, darting off your head into the hall, "he's awake and he's alive! Get in here!"

Before you know it, everyone's surrounding you again.

>Good to see you all again
>T.T., what the hell did you do?
>Liska, I'm back
>What happened while I was gone?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2707630
>>2707647
Okay well what about the fact we're almost granddad age? we're almost 50 and we may have been a marine but we've been a desk jockey for a while, then again sex with the wife is a decent exercise.
>>
Okay, what the fuck guys? Why the HELL did you guys vote to go "1v1 me biatch!" to a duke of hell?
>>
>>2707652
>Good to see you all again
>How long has it been?
>>
>>2707652
>Good to see you all again
>What happened while I was gone?

I don't recognize some of those names. I that just me, or is something else going on?


>>2707658
Our ego got the better of us.
>>
>>2707652
>How long was I out?
>Please tell me I didn't miss My daughter's wedding.
>I'm sorry everyone, for taking on something that was too big for my britches without any help, it was my fault.
>>
>>2707652
>Good to see you all again
>What happened while I was gone?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87nJoBSfQ_Q
>>
>>2707652
>>WRITE IN
>Give me something to drink will ya?
>>
>>2707664
Dammit. We should have challenged it to a Dad Jokes contest.
>>
>>2707658
the dice gods didn't bless us
>>
>>2707652
>Get me my sword and my cell phone, I'm fixing some shit.

>>2707658
You do realize Arch-dukes and all that have been defeated or removed via myth and shit like that in the real world right?
>>
>>2707664
Outside of the flickering shapes, it's pretty much everyone we met at the magical girl cookout.
>>
>>2707671
No, there were some decent rolls.
>>2707674
Yeah, by holy knights and wizards, not assholes with shotguns. Unless you're "THE" Asshole with a Shotgun, In Green Armor.
>>
>>2707677
Dude, some lowly as fuck priests have banished Arch-dukes senpai.
>>
>>2707652
>Good to see you all again
>What happened while I was gone?
>sorry about that charging in alone thing

>>2707665
Supporting
>>
>>2707658
I told them to do twister or trick it into making the duel some game/method that we could actually beat it at. Don't look at me.
>>
>>2707658
Nigga I was asleep when this shit happened, don't 'chu dare put that voodoo magic on me.
>>
I'm to far gone to vote responsibly, but I was hoping for an actual roll for the choice there for fighting the demon. Also as a shotgun was chosen to fight the demon that he'd have to use one too and as he's fuck huge he couldn't wild one properly. Well time to ride another crazy train.
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>>2707682
They had god on their side. I feel like that somewhat messes with the odds.
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>>2707696
Aw shit. Missed the call for a vote. Really an 85 didn't win it? Shit figured kneecapping him would be easy enough.

I'll go back to lurking. I'm too drunk for anything meaningful.
>>
You just did exactly the thing we spent the entire quest preventing everyone else from doing. Good job morons.

They're gonna be pissed and sure as shit won't trust our decision making for the foreseeable future. Good job.

You lost to the Duke, as per the rules he now owns the city. I'm sure Bernie is thrilled.
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>>2707720
Technically he was banished before the loss by outside interference.
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>>2707707
If we hadn't just stood there while he walked up to us, it might have been enough. Maybe. At least it would have been closer.
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>>2707747
I was hoping we'd get more than one roll for such a big fight, especially with an 85. Haiku hasn't let us down yet though.
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>>2707754
>Especially with an 85
But doesn't Haiku take more than just the highest roll or did that get changed sometime ago?
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>>2707761
Fuck man I have no clue right now. We've stood our own against God's and have punched above our weight class plenty of times before. I've also had a shit night so I'm more bitter and nitpicky than usual.
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>>2707720
Anon, calm down. It had to happen some time, since we were continuously playing chicken with the QM.

It's even thematically sound, since we now know that our sister still exists and still feels some kind of human emotion. Now we get to atone for our complete lack of a brain.
>>
>>2707652
>WRITE IN
"SEND ME BACK! THEY ARE HUGE! THAT MEANS THEY HAVE HUGE GUTS! RIP AND TEAR!" Followed by a faint "Elanor, if you can hear this know i will return and next time i'm bringing you back with me"
>>
OP is dead

PANIC
>>
>>2707816
OP is drunk.

Business as usual.

*Ftfy
>>
>>2707652
>>2707686
second
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>>2707780
No, it didn't "have to happen". The people who were here for the vote could not have been incredibly idiotic.
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>>2707837
/qst/ demanded blood for the blood god. Shit happens, If I were awake I would have actually voted for twister or a round of monopoly.
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>>2707846
Same here
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>>2707846
I may or may not have, but either way it still would've been less stupid than trying to 1v1 a Capital 'D' Demon Lord with a shotgun when we brought our whol entourage with us specifcially because we were told we could choose our Honor Guard as our weapon.

After that, Shotgun Shogun no, I'm kinda surprised '1v1 w/shotgun' was even an option.
>>
>>2707780
I can calmly call you morons when you act moronic. It wasn't a total bust but damn it wasn't inevitable beyond the fact that people act without thinking
>>
>>2707861
This is /qst/ where we took the spirit of /tg/ decision which every choices are utterly full of bad decisions from anons.

Deal with it.
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>>2707875
And in the spirit of /tg/ decisionmaking, I'll call you an idiot while regretting not being here to swing the vote toward a less stupid decision.
>>
As much as I dont like the current situation I believe figuring out the current status and solving problems should be the thing we should focus on now. Calling each others ass may prevent this from happening in the future but currently we need to do damage control.
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>>2707881
hey i already voted on twisters yet QM shut us off so why bother
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Sorry about the delay. I'm going to actually go to bed now, and not just go to the floor.

Next runtime on twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

Hopefully I'll be back in a few hours. And hopefully by then captcha will have stopped making me mark five photos of street signs, cars, and busses.

Questions/comments/death threats/etc. will be dealt with as I see fit, which may mean 'responded to', depending.

Hey, at least I didn't pass out right after the 'YOU DIED' post. That would have been some shit.

>>2707816
DON'T PANIC.
>>2707820
The floor looked so comfortable. I thought I'd have a fast lie-down while I waited for votes, and suddenly it's four hours later. Time travel is rather inconvenient sometimes. Because it's one way, into the future.
>>
>>2707967
Haiku/Floor OTP?

No but seriously, SHOTGUN was a stupid decision and I'm glad we're alive, though I am concerned how this'll affect the groups confidence in our decision-making abilities.

My main beef was why we didn't just go straight into selecting Honorguard as our weapon given we'd just been told that AND it was the reason we'd brought our whole entourage with us and geared everyone up for just that purpose.

Also, given our sister bought our soul, does she still have some claim to it even though we're alive again? And can we use our connection to her to summon her specifically to meet the family?
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>>2707967
Kitchen floors are cool in the heat
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Well, we acted without thinking and we got bit, HARD. Hopefully, we've learned our lesson now, and won't try to go in alone as often. We are not nearly as powerful as some tend to think.

On the other side, we are progressing pretty steadily through the hero's journey if you like using that format. I'd say we've reached the second threshold. Left our world, got our shotgun and the sword, met a goddess, (twice maybe), and just died (or something damn close).
>>
>>2707981
Hey man, I wanted to try diplomacy. Dude plays twister, it could have worked.

But then we had such terrible rolls for Shotgun, and OP takes all the rolls into consideration . . . .
>>
One of the other stupid things I noticed is that we didn't even bother to negotiate anything for us if we won.
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>>2708027
On a scale of 1 to Fire-your-gun-into-the-ceiling-while-screaming, how fucked do you think our situation as a MC is?
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>>2708092
I mean, we were already bound to our Sister's soul.

So now we just have to let everyone know she owns us.

I don't see it changing anything, we're still going to go into Hell to save her. Or maybe let her possess us so she can come out and fight for us.
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>>2708092
Then again, who knows what torment we'll face when she's soul-swapped with us and we're stuck in hell?
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>>2708104
So basically the same shit we do at work except we can't be dadly as fuk. Got it.
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>>2708117
. . . Who says we can't be Dadly as fuck in a dress?

We SHOULD make a note to tell the others that we didn't want to risk fighting the whole demon army in case he thought our honour guard violated one on one combat.

So we figured it was best to let him take us down instead of destroying the city, or forcing our girls to suddenly a war.
>>
>>2708133
Or we could just say we were stupid, didn't want anyone else to die because of our mistake of not saying to shut down the emo array, and really fucked up. It draws a nice parallel to what our sister did although we didn't get to give a speech to Kelly or TT about making sure everyone is ok.
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>>2708133
As far as I'm concerned, we should take it easy until the next session.
This does leave me with this question: If she'll be supposedly able to possess us. Would that mean she'd also feel our emotions and vice versa as well? Could we draw on eachother's strength much easier now that she technically owns our soul and thus has a much closer bond with it than before?
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>>2707652
>Sorry
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>>2708141
Supporting this. we acted before thinking, and it cost us, and we're very sorry about that.
>>
>>2708141
>>2708133

Why not both? I mean, we ARE just a regular dude and it seems like we forgot that what with everything that is going on.
>>
Also, how about we make sure we can still feel anything below our neck before we start trying to summon our angry big sis though pure will?
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>>2708133
> we didn't want to risk fighting the whole demon army in case he thought our honour guard violated one on one combat.
That was another part of the reason I didn't want to use the honor guard. If we could use ours, he could have used his.

>>2708142
The possession is pure speculation at this point. The side effects would depend on all sorts of things.

I don't think she really owns our soul though. We didn't sell it and it wound up in her hands, and we didn't die. I think she was bartering for possession of it while we were down there.
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>>2708150
Of course. It's still fun to think about the possibilities of such a reunion between long lost siblings.
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>>2708151
fair enough. I figure we'd still have full sensory input, but she'd have control. It would be amusing to see how long it took for our crew to notice anything wrong if Sis took over and pretended to be us.
>>
To be honest owing 13,000 (human?) souls is very high. I don't know if they accept demon soul so the best bet to pay the debt from our sister is to raid hell, kill a lot of high council demons so we became a free man again.

Auditing our life has never been harder.
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>>2708157
About as long as it takes for Liska to drag us into bed? (Assuming that the whole nightmares about what was happening to our sister wasn't a two way connection)
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>>2708160
We've turned her down before. It wouldn't be too hard to fabricate an excuse to pass for a night or two.

Interesting idea about her dreaming of us as we did of her.
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>>2708157
I'll laugh if it turns out that our neighbor Fred is the first one to figure out that something is wrong not because of all the magic bullshit that's happened.
But because our sister did not know that Fred is actually his nickname and we're one of the few people that knows his full name.
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>>2707247
If you'd brought in all the people that love you and believe in you, you would have won that fight. Well, now you're in Hell, have fun!

I'm gonna have to call bullshit since usually the whole choose your weapons thing means the other guy gets to use the same and he has all of those legions of hell.Bringing them in was an obvious trap to enable him to bring forth all of his troops for the fight which our team clearly couldn't handle as they would have simply toasted his army if they were that strong.
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>>2708159
> To be honest owing 13,000 (human?) souls is very high.

Out of billions?
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>>2708253
our one(1) soul was worth thirteen thousand(13,000). Yes, that is a lot to pay for a single soul.
>>
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Thinking about running for a bit today. Huh, we actually went to Hell last night.

>>2708027
Wow, I totally forgot about Joseph Campbell.

Huh. Now that I think about it, I would argue that the MC has actually made this cycle multiple times already. Just about every time he recruited another brother/sister/group/etc.

Getting Mary on board started with meeting Harriet (the mentor), trials (verbal), crossing the first threshold into Mary's 'office', meeting the goddess, black moment (or Mary's refusal to return), a Showdown, and left the MC the Master of Two Worlds

The party where the MC got the two wizards to swear brotherhood with him followed a similar cycle.

And, since it basically started and finished with a conversation with Fred (who is sort of our yardstick for Ordinary World, and I'm damn glad to whoever wrote him in), Dinner With The Dragon followed this cycle almost perfectly, if you sort the events right.

The Visiting The In Laws arc basically floored it to First Threshold, with a fast detour through a trial, but hit Heiros Gamos three (or more) times. Even if the fact that the formerly dominating patriarch of that family could be the MC's Shadow Self (as a type of fatherhood done badly) only became clear later on.

You could say that the MC's journey is not a circle, but a spiral, made of circles stacked atop each other. A SPIRAL! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EXFilTUiko https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VT6LFOIofRE

But it you want to bind me down to a strict Hero's Journey for the whole plot, the MC's basically been wandering back and forth between Ordeal and Hieros Gamos for a while, occasionally coming up for air in the ordinary world.

>>2708243
>the other guy gets to use the same
That's why it's 'honor guard', not 'my army'.
>>2708243
>he has all of those legions of hell
Forty to forty-five, depending on the author.
>>
>>2708358
>That's why it's 'honor guard', not 'my army'.
The only difference between the two is that one is supposed to be by your side and the other can be delegated to a lackey to lead.
>>
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>>2707652
"Good to see you all again," you manage to say in a harsh whisper, "gimme somethin' ta drink, willya?"

Liska hands you a mug of water.

Heh, it's that "World's #1 Dad" mug Melon got you for Christmas a few years back.

You know you don't deserve that, but take a sip.

"Sorry about charging in alone like that," you say to the room at large, the water making it easier to talk, "got a bit too big for my britches there."

"You kneecapped a duke of Hell!" Einz yells, "that was awesome!"

Kelly glares at her, and you see Iris put a warning hand on her daughter's shoulder.

"Sorry I did that to you, dear," you whisper to your wife, "I hear you've been checking on me - thanks."

"I'm just glad you're alive," she says, grabbing your shoulder, "everyone was worried."

There's something in her eyes that makes it seem like there's more she wants to say, but not with everyone around.

"So what happened while I was out?" you ask.

T.T. steps up, as if he's been the de facto generalissimo while you were gone. You can see stains and tears on his red jacket.

They're not just winestains.

And then you glance around the room. Everyone's got bruises, or bloodstains and burns on their clothes.

You're guessing you didn't miss your daughter's wedding or something.

"Do you want the good news," the wizard asks, "the bad news, or the ugly news first?"

>The good news
>The bad news
>The ugly news
>Please tell me I didn't miss my daughter's wedding
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2708405
>>The ugly news
then
>The bad news
then
>The good news
>>
>>2708382
Technically, everyone the MC has is his 'honor guard', but that restricts Gusion to a fraction of his force.
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>>2708405
>Just go chronological
>>
>>2708412
This
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>>2707220
>"Twenty-five hundred," In a draconic bellow.

Should investigate which kind of dragons are welcome. Maybe Bern has acquaintance there, if he hasn't visited himself.

>>2708358
>made of circles stacked atop each other
like ogres, in a way

>>2708405
>Have you met my sister?
and
>>2708412
>>
>>2708405
>The bad news
>The ugly new
>>
>>2708405
>Ugly, Bad and good
>>
>>2708405
>Please tell me I didn't miss my daughter's wedding
>>
>>2708405
> Give me worst to best. Go ahead and end on what I'm sure is going to be histories bleakest high point.
(ugly, bad, good)

>Give a quick mental once over of what you can still feel

> How many are dead, how many were almost dead, and how many are going to want me dead?
>>
>>2708405
"T.T.," you say, "give me the ugly news first. Or go chronological - I'm not sure I care."

"Please call me U.U. now," the wizard tells you, smoothing his frayed collar, "I burned my true name dragging your soul out of Hell."

That's a real thing? And if he's cycling names... and he's on 'U', does that mean he's done this over twenty times?

"The ugly news," he continues, "is that we've got other magical girls moving in on the city because there are so many demons popping in. I think you can guess what the bad news is."

Yes, it's rather clearly implied.

"When I banished Gusion," T.T., uh, U.U., continues, "he managed to drag your soul back to Hell with him. You were close enough to death he could snag it easily, but not dead enough the Reapers showed."

Of course that's a real thing too. Of fucking course.

"I've got a story to tell about that," you say weakly, "and some questions. For later."

"From what my sources tell me," U.U. says, and you see various glares and looks of distaste from the magical girls in the room, so you can guess what those sources are, "Gusion's pretty unhappy about what you did to his leg. His guys have been coming in every night, and we've barely been holding them off. And he's got a beef with whoever's managing the terrestrial demons in this town. We've seen demon cops fighting Gusion's guys in the streets."

They've been fighting off what's almost a demonic invasion. And it's left its marks on them.

"So what," you ask, "is the good news?"

"You," U.U. says, and a terrifying smirk crosses his face, "you called shotguns as the weapon. And he used his claws and dragged you off to Hell. And I banished him. So the duel's invalid."

"You're going to have to explain why that's a good thing," you say wearily.

"We can hit him up for a rematch," U.U. says, "and he's getting mocked for it back home."

A rematch sounds really bad to you right now.

And there's one other thing that's been bugging you.

"That doesn't sound like good news," you say, then narrow your eyes, "how long was I out?"

"About a month," Kelly says, his businesslike voice cutting through the room.

Fuck.

>U.U., I've got some questions about Hell
>U.U., I've got some questions about Hell, and I only want you and my immediate family in here for them
>You said something about rival magical girls moving in on the city?
>How long until I'm functional again?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2708495
>U.U., I've got some questions about Hell, and I only want you and my immediate family in here for them
>How long until I'm functional again?
>>
>>2708495
>WRITE IN

> How at the girls holding up? Are they okay?
>>
>>2708495
>U.U., I've got some questions about Hell, and I only want you and my immediate family in here for them
>How long until I'm functional again?
>>
>>2708495
>I'm Sorry, I really fucking blew it
>>
>>2708495
>>U.U., I've got some questions about Hell, and I only want you and my immediate family in here for them
That our hell noble sister now apparently owns our soul needs to be the first thing addressed.
>>
>>2708495
>>You said something about rival magical girls moving in on the city?
>>How long until I'm functional again?
the particulars of Hell aren't really important at the moment, though we'll want to brush up later.

Looks like you're going to have to rename all your T.T. images though.
>>
>>2708501
14:04 - 14:14 Voting period, write-ins considered after.

Yes, make me do seven fucking captchas, 4chan.

>>2708508
>Looks like you're going to have to rename all your T.T. images though.
Fuck, you're right. Thanks for catching that.
>>
>>2708517
We should start calling him 'Double U', or 'W'
>>
>>2708501
>>2708503
>>2708504
>>2708505
>>2708506
>>2708508
>>2708517
I wonder if we can challenge him to a game of Mario Party and get a fair chance at winning since those games are infamous for being a special brand of evil that most normal evils cannot comprehend.
>>
>>2708528
We should do it. That was the only game I was ever really good at.
>>
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>>2708528 + >>2708523
>>
>>2708495
>U.U., I've got some questions about Hell, and I only want you and my immediate family in here for them

"So, yeah, Big sis, uh... your stepsister, your aunt, is apparently channeling her inner... uh, anglerfish. Lots of sharp, pointy teeth. Beyond that, she seems to have made a name for herself."
>>
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>>2708495
"How are you all holding up?" you ask, looking at the lineup around your room.

You just want to make sure the girls are fine. That's what a dad does, right?

Oh god.

You hadn't quite noticed yet, maybe they've been giving you the good shit in that IV, but this looks more like a mercenary army than a team of magical girls. Kelly's obviously opened his stash to them.

Or is it your stash? You can't remember.

"I'm just glad you're back, dad," Melon says, brushing her hand along your arm. She's got a bandolier slung across her tiny frame, and you can see your shotgun on her back.

"We've been bathing in the blood of our enemies," Sue says, "I hear it's a beauty treatment? Good for the skin or something. Things have been going well," she finishes, with a sharklike grin, "thanks."

And that's the Thousand Year Blade at her hip.

Tokyo had better still be standing.

"They're no match for us," Rachel tells you, "demons lick my shoes before they die. As if I'd give them mercy."

You can't help but think that things have regressed a little during your absence.

"We're doing pretty well," Mary says, summing up, as she gets a chorus of nods from the other magical girls, "your turf's still intact," she finishes, as she walks up to your bed.

"And T-uh, U.U.'s surprisingly helpful," she whispers, bending down to your ear.

U.U. now, huh?

There's only one thing you can call him.

"W," you say, and that gets you a chorus of giggles, and you can hear a few mutters of "oh, that's perfect!"

God, they're still a bunch of teenage girls.

"I'm glad to hear you're still hanging in there," you say, looking them over, "you've all done a hell of a lot more than I did at your age. And I'm sorry I made it necessary."

Well, that gets a good response. Although you hear a couple of whispers that sound suspiciously like 'why would you be sorry?'.

"But I've got some questions about Hell for W," you say, and you see smiles again. Oh, he's never living that nickname down.

"And I only want you," you say, looking the red-faced wizard in the eyes, "and my immediate family in here for them."

You get a couple of hurt looks as the girls file out, but you're not sure you could tell this story with a huge audience.

"So what happened?" U.U. - no, W, asks you, "it was hours before I could even pull at you."

It's just him, Liska, and Melon around your bed.

>Tell the story
>I think they had my soul in chains that kept me there. Elanor released me
>My sister bought my soul at auction - for about 13 thousand souls
>Melon, I don't know if you knew - but your aunt's a Duchess of Hell now
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2708587
>Tell the story
>>
>>2708587
>>Melon, I don't know if you knew - but your aunt's a Duchess of Hell now
Try to keep things light, I suppose.
>>
>>2708587
>I think they had my soul in chains that kept me there.
>My sister bought my soul at auction - for about 13 thousand souls
>Melon, I don't know if you knew - but your aunt's a Duchess of Hell now

I'm not entirely sure why this is immediate family only, but whatever.
>>
>>2708587
> My sister bought my soul at auction - for about 13 thousand souls

> She hasn't changed, well, not enough to not be saved.

> Sorry. I know it's selfish of me to share this when you must have been so worried.
>>
>>2708587
>>Tell the story
>>
>>2708596
Yeah. Also Supporting.
>>
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>>2708594
15:02 - 15:15 Voting period or so.

>>2708596
>I'm not entirely sure why this is immediate family only
I gave a choice. People picked an option. I'm not entirely sure why either.

But, considering what the past month has apparently been like, and the fact that the girls don't necessarily know that the MC's sister is a demon, it wasn't a bad option. Probably should have included Kelly and Mary, but hindsight is 20/20 vision.
>>
>>2708587
>Tell the story, hold nothing back.
>>
>>2708622
Maybe we should tell them later individually?
>>
>>2708587
>Tell the story, hold nothing back

This is family, they deserve to know.
>>
>>2708587
>Tell the story
After my sister won me for 13,00 souls at an auction (apparently she's some bigshot duchess now) she took some chains off of me so that I could give her a hug. I think we just missed out on an important detail from when she was talking and i came back up.
Don't remember much else since I was pretty out of it even in what you tell me was soul form.
>>
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>>2708587
"Melon," you say, as the last person out closes the door, "I'm not sure I ever told you about your aunt."

"She became a magical girl, right?" your daughter asks, "and she died."

You did tell her part of the story, as you knew it at the time, back when you first found out she was in this mess.

"I thought she died," you say, "but really... she just walked into Hell."

You can't say the words without seeing the scene again in your mind. That one look back with a sad smile, and...

"She's a Duchess of Hell now," you say, and you can see the shock on W's face.

"I should have guessed," he mutters, then looks at you with a piercing stare, "tell the story. Now."

So you do, trying to not pay attention to the looks on the faces around you. You're slamming them through all the colors of the emotional rainbow.

"...I don't think she's changed," you say, eventually, "well, not enough to not be saved."

"Thirteen thousand souls," W breathes, "and she knew that if she released those chains, someone could pull you back from this side. She paid thirteen thousand souls to talk to you for two minutes," the wizard continues, in a near whisper, "that's not what I saw from her in Japan."

"I was just glad to see her again," you say, "and I know it's selfish of me to say that when you all," you continue, your eyes passing over Liska, Melon, and W, "were so worried."

It looks like Melon's going to say something, but W comes out of his own little world talking before she can, "you know why you were so valuable?" he asks, suddenly.

"No," you tell him, and take another sip of water.

"You were a 'live soul'," W says, suddenly serious, "any demon that held your soul could have dived into your body, since it wasn't dead yet. Any demon at that auction could be laying in that bed right now. In your skin. She could have done that."

But she didn't, you think.

"I know I pulled YOU back," W says, "if I'd gotten a demon instead, well, don't take this the wrong way," he continues, "but lethal injection and death from iatrogenic causes are real things."

"You would have killed him," Liska says, her voice level, but you can see something very dangerous in her slitted eyes.

"You would have wanted me to," the wizard says, turning away and walking out of the room.

>Hug your wife and daughter
>Hug your wife and daughter very tightly
>Any more questions?
>So, uh, when do they say I can get up?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2708668
>Hug your wife and daughter very tightly
>Any more questions?
>>
>>2708668
>>So, uh, when do they say I can get up?
>Hug your wife and daughter

>"You would have wanted me to,"
He's not wrong. It wouldn't have been us anymore, and they could have done a great deal of damage.
>>
>>2708668
>Hug your wife and daughter very tightly

>I don't know if this is a good idea, but I'd like to summon her up to talk
>>
>>2708686
When we finish here, or if it turns out we're bedridden for a while, we should talk to W about the particulars of Hell, see what sort of options we have for interacting with her.
>>
>>2708668
>>Hug your wife and daughter very tightly
>>So, uh, when do they say I can get up?
>>
>>2708674
15:54 - 16:15 Voting period.

W is The Artist Formerly Known As T.T. That suggestion was just too hilarious.

I think we accidentally drove over the 'second season is suddenly darker than the first' cliff at some point.

>>2708676
>He's not wrong.
The awful part is that he knows he's not wrong.
>>
>>2708668
>Hugs
(Surprised we can speak legibly instead of short sentences with all that morphine and ouch)
>W, Kelly's daughter worked on a theoretical portal to hell a while back, think you two can work together to reroute it to King Yama and whatever other bureaucracy is in charge of reincarnation? I think whatever is making the rats counts as stealing souls from whatever afterlife god they were gonna go to originally so it would put a damper on the rat supply line. Gotta make sure they learn the meaning of customer service and all of that.
>Did Freebles take any contracts off of any of the rats that moved in?
>>
>>2708668
>Hug your wife and daughter very tightly
>So, uh, when do they say I can get up?
>>
>>2708696
>(Surprised we can speak legibly instead of short sentences with all that morphine and ouch)
I'm going with they kept the MC under until he actually healed, and he only really came out of it once he was kind of ok.
Mostly because I don't want to run Bedridden Invalid Quest.

If I have to keep going through multiple captchas like this, I will crash this quest with no survivors.
>>
>>2708668
>Hug your wife and daughter very tightly
>So, uh, when do they say I can get up?

>>2708686
>>2708686
Supporting
>>
>>2708668
>>2708721
>Hug your wife and daughter
>Hug them tighter
>Wtf is that the thightest we can do? Hug them like we don't want to let the go again
>Cry like a dad we are for making our family worry.
In times like this I want to show Dad that we are weak despite with our allies that are more powerful than us.

In short character development
>>
>>2708779

this
>>
>>2708779
I can support this
>>
>>2708779
This and apologize for literally beginning the end of the world. Also has the demon outbreak spread outside our town? If yes we need to contain that shit ASAP. And what about civvie casualties? How the FUCK are we supposed to keep this under wraps?
>>
>>2708739
Support
>>
>>2708779
I can get behind this.
>>
>>2708779
Yeah
>>
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>>2708668
You sit up in bed, and pull Liska and Melon into a hug.

For the first time in a month, apparently. What have they been dealing with in that time?

"Sounds like you family's almost as messed up as mine," your wife whispers to you, as you feel the bandolier and shotgun across your daughter's back.

"Let's try to keep this one from going that way," you say, holding them close.

Although at this point, you're not quite sure if you're stepping toward that or away from it.

"Dad," Melon says, leaning into you.

You pull them even tighter, as if you never want to let them go again.

And your cheeks are wet.

It must be raining.

Indoors.

The three of you stay like that for... you're really not sure how long it is.

"I didn't mean to do that to you," you say, "I won't d-"

And Liska cuts you off, "don't say it," she says, and she's crying too, "I know you'll do it again. Eventually."

"Don't be like that, mom," Melon says, then, "I missed you," she tells you, "I, uh..."

You keep hugging them.

"I missed you two, too," you say. And you know it sounds awkward, but It's the truth.

There's really only so much of this you can take, even if you deserve to feel it all.

"So, uh," you begin, "when did they say I could get up?"

"They said you were basically fine, bro," Freebles says, standing on the sheets, "about a week ago. At least, your body was fine."

And you're mind's definitely all here, with both your girls in your arms.

"Thanks for watching over me," you tell all three of them, slowly releasing the hug. And you think about saying you won't do it again, almost reflexively.

But they know you too well for that to hold water.

"You've got some business," Liska says, "I think, if you're up for it. And you've got to be hungry."

"I think I'm up for it," you tell her, "and I'd like you both to meet her. Not sure it that's a bad idea."

"After meeting Grandmother," Melon says, "I'm pretty sure I can handle it."

That jogs your memory about another conversation you meant to have, but this is probably a bad time.

>Talk to Kelly about his experience with your sister
>Talk to W about portals into Hall and summoning your sister
>Talk to Harriet about 'time phantoms'
>Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and it's Fred
>Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and it's Bernie
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2708844
>Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and it's Fred
>Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and it's Bernie

They decided to team up. Everything is even more fucked.
>>
>>2708844
>>Talk to Kelly & W about their experience with your sister
>>Talk to W about portals into Hell and summoning your sister
>>
>>2708844
>>Talk to W about portals into Hall and summoning your sister
>>Talk to Harriet about 'time phantoms'
>>
>>2708850
16:59 - 17:10 Voting period

I suck at writing 'feels' scenes. They always feel hacked together and awkward.
>>
>>2708844
>>Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and it's Fred
>>Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and it's Bernie
They both wonder who the other guy is and what he's doing here
>>
>>2708844
>Talk to W about portals into Hell and summoning your sister
>Talk to Harriet about 'time phantoms'
>Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and it's Bernie
>>
>>2708844
>Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and it's Fred
>Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and it's Bernie
>>
>>2708844
>Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and it's Fred
>Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and it's Bernie
>Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and it's your sister (13k souls sounds a bit much for a basic coma patient, she was clearly talking about something else whether it's some weird link to us, or the magical yarnball, or whatever) and Bernie is freaked out.
>>
>>2708874

supporting, lets make the clusterfuck even bigger
>>
>>2708844
Can we just do all the above?
>>
>>2708874
>Sister is using the Templar armor from Bernie stash
>Bernie is mad at the same time amused how the fuck his 13,000 souls was deducted from his firm.
>>
I'm hoping that Fred lost his glasses while jogging (or something) and came over to see if we just happened to have stumbled across them, and thus can't see any more than colorful blobs of what's happening in the house.
or he heard we "were under the weather after our trip to Japan" and is simply dropping off his grandmother's special soup for us.
>>
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>>2708844
And that's the doorbell.

"Can you two help me?" you ask, trying to get out of bed.

Ok, well at least the IV stand rolls. You make it to the door, assisted by your wife and daughter.

Then you open it, wrapped in a bedsheet.

"...and that's why I think the Cubs are gonna make it this year!" your hear Fred say.

"My money's on the Yankees," Bernie says, "care to make a - oh, the sleeper awakes," he says, noticing the open door and looking at you.

Just when you thought things couldn't get screwier, your boss and your neighbor had to show up. And Bernie looks like he's putting up an affable front over depths of rage.

"I'm glad you're feeling better," Fred says, and you see a stack of tupperware containers in his arms, "Marlene sent me around with some food. How's the cancer?"

"The docs say it's in remission," you tell him, as Bernie tries to bore holes in you with his eyes.

Cancer? Really? THAT was the excuse they thought up?

"Walking like Lazarus from the tomb," Bernie says, "I didn't expect to see you on your feet."

"I only just managed to find them myself," you say.

"Glad you did," the dragon tells you, "because some of the business in this city has gotten rather tangled without you. And you've burned all your sick days."

"Guy's got cancer," Fred tells him, "look, sometimes things like this happen. Give him a break."

Bernie's fists tighten for a second, but he manages to control himself.

>The two of you want to come inside?
>Thank Marlene for us, Fred. I really appreciate it. (Fob Fred off.)
>Bernie, you want to talk about this, or do you want to 'talk' to my... family about this?
>Thanks for showing, but I'm still a bit too tired to deal with visitors.
>WRITE IN
>>
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>>2708901
Or he needs about tree fiddy
>>
>>2708925
>>Thank Marlene for us, Fred. I really appreciate it. (Fob Fred off.)
>>Bernie, you want to talk about this, or do you want to 'talk' to my... family about this?
>>
>>2708925
>Thank Marlene for us, Fred. I really appreciate it. (Fob Fred off.)
>The world doesn't stop spinning just because I was down, though. I left some people in a bad position when it happened, and I need to help make that right too.
>>
>>2708925
>The two of you want to come inside?
>>
>>2708925
>Thank Marlene for us, Fred. I really appreciate it. (Fob Fred off.)
>Bernie, you want to talk about this, or do you want to 'talk' to my... family about this?
>>
>>2708925
>Thank Marlene for us, Fred. I really appreciate it. (Fob Fred off.)
>Bernie, you want to talk about this, or do you want to 'talk' to my... family about this?
Honestly Expect Fred to be an legit angel just watchin the situation for the big guy up stairs.
>>
>>2708925
>Thank Marlene for us, Fred. I really appreciate it. (Fob Fred off.)
>I know, i have a lot of catching up to do, and i should have been more careful about my health
>>
>>2708925

>The two of you want to come inside?
>Bernie, you want to talk about this, or do you want to 'talk' to my... family about this?
>>
>>2708925
>The two of you want to come inside?


>Before Bernie leaves, suddenly, the doorbell rings, and it's your sister. We really should stop meeting like this brother!
>>
>>2708945
So Fred is Ocelot expy who is a triple sleeper agent?
>>
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>>2708925
"World doesn't stop spinning because I'm down, though," you tell Fred, "I left a few accounts in a bad spot, and I need to help make it right."

"Must be pretty important accounts, if your boss is showing up on your doorstep to talk about them," Fred says, handing off the tupperware to Liska.

"You could say that," Bernie says, holding his voice utterly level.

"Thank Marlene for us, Fred," you say, "I really appreciate it." Liska echoes the sentiment.

"Hope you get better soon, man!" Fred says, turning to walk away, "oh," he says, suddenly facing Bernie again, "it's gonna be the Cubs, man. just watch!"

"We'll see," Bernie tells him, as Fred walks back to his house.

Nice guy.

"Bernie," you ask, when Fred's out of earshot, looking straight into those red eyes, "do you want to talk about this inside, or do you want to talk to my... 'family' about this in the street?"

"Inside works," he tells you, "if I wanted you dead, this house would already be ashes."

That's only slightly comforting.

"Heinrich!" Bernie calls, and you see the knight step out of a very nice car.

"Your plus-one is welcome as well," you say, stepping aside from the door.

In a couple of minutes, everyone's seated around the dining room table, and the food Fred brought over is served out.

"I trust you've made him aware of the situation," Bernie opens, glaring at W.

"Most of it," the wizard says.

"You appear," Bernie says, leaning his chair back, "to have pissed off a Duke of Hell, and some ambitious demons in his legions are trying to win his favor by destroying our city. They even picked a fight with the demonic elements of our local government."

"Is that why there isn't mass panic yet?" you ask.

"There have been a lot of 'gas leaks', 'mysterious structural failures', and 'serial killings' lately," Kelly says, "we're actually quite lucky they got involved. They're very good at cover-ups."

"But that luck is going to run out the second they call in the Feds, Edwards," Bernie says, and his teeth are very sharp-looking in this light, "and I kind of like this city. More than some people I could name," he finishes, glaring at W again.

>I didn't realize we'd trigger something like this. I told him to do that, I'll take responsibility.
>So how do we turn this three-way-war to our advantage?
>Whatever else we may have done, we've been trying to fix it (gesture at your obviously battered troops)
>Am I going to have to do a rematch to get Gusion to call his guys off?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2709062
>I didn't realize we'd trigger something like this. I told him to do that, I'll take responsibility.
>So how do we turn this three-way-war to our advantage?
>>
>>2709062
>Whatever else we may have done, we've been trying to fix it (gesture at your obviously battered troops)

>I didn't realize we'd trigger something like this. I told him to do that, I'll take responsibility. Guess its time to resummon it and then kill it this time.
>>
>>2709062
>>I didn't realize we'd trigger something like this. I told him to do that, I'll take responsibility.
>>Whatever else we may have done, we've been trying to fix it (gesture at your obviously battered troops)

We need to take stock of what we have, what they have, and what they are actually trying to accomplish. I wonder if we can leverage our own duke here somehow. This many demons in the city has to be causing some turmoil in hell.
>>
>>2709062
>I didn't realize we'd trigger something like this. I told him to do that, I'll take responsibility.
>So how do we turn this three-way-war to our advantage?
>Am I going to have to do a rematch to get Gusion to call his guys off?

I'm guessing Bernie and Heinrich already know all of what happened? How we died and were brought back? Perhaps ask Bernie if it was him we heard in the auction?
>>
>>2709062
>I didn't realize we'd trigger something like this. I told him to do that, I'll take responsibility.
>So how do we turn this three-way-war to our advantage?
Write-in
>On the bright side I know my sister is the duchess in hell so we can swing something in our favor
>>
>>2709062
>>So how do we turn this three-way-war to our advantage?
Could we get Freeble's boss involved in this, somehow bring the rats against the demons? If they're at each others throats then it helps towards our ultimate goal of breaking the rats and ending the contract system our daughter is part of.
>>
>>2709062
Oh, and we should probably see if the demon we met waaaaay back in thread 1 can act as a messenger between us and our sister. Alternately, help us find a better way to contact her directly that doesn't involve runners that can be killed/turned.
>>
>>2709062
I failed to realize that the girl's idea of decently strong for getting energy was that high up the totem pole. It was my idea and my fault for not shutting it down before the demons noticed something was up.
My recent understanding of the hell politics tells me that this would have happened anyway since the demons in this city and the duke already hated each other but the powder keg was blown once baboon face showed up.
The Duke being pissed at me is because it somehow screwed up worse than I did and is getting made fun of which put the city as an easy target to lash out on.

>Ask Harriet if this current situation seems familiar or if it's some other apocalypse that's incoming.
>>2709108
BAD IDEA. The rats would just turn the magical girls into unknowing suicide bombs if the boss gets involved.
>>
>>2709118
If fodder demons and Dukes can basically get to Earth anytime they want like what just caused this clusterfuck I don't see any reason she can't directly speak to us in all honesty. I'm sure the QM is weeping at his little demonette not being used.
>>
Oh shit I hope we're not entering the beginning stages of the apocalypse scenario.
Let's just hope this is a supernatural gang war in the streets.
https://youtu.be/qO98KrXW7GM
>>
>>2709133

obviously we need Henderson
>>
>>2709119
Bad for their business. The girls are the ones getting energy for them, after all, and replacing them wouldn't be an overnight task.

Might turn into that, though, and we'd need to play it smart to make sure they don't get desperate. Still doesn't hurt to see what the others think of it.

>>2709129
Might be that shit would go down in her little region of hell if it were known she was off in the human world. I'd prefer asking her directly, but unless she comes here then we'd have to get a message to her.
>>
>>2709140
It's great for business if it wiped the entire city off of the map and they grab all of the energy from the aftermath. Magical girls are a disposable resource.
>>
>>2709170
They're sort term assets, but not really disposable. Remember part of the reason the girls get stuck in these contracts is the enormous energy investment on the part of the rats. Losing them before they've made that back (even if the loan isn't paid back) is a net loss for them. And the whole point of the rats contracting is to collect energy.
>>
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>>2709062
"I told him to do it," you say, "I'll take responsibility. Didn't realize we'd trigger something like this."

Bernie take a deep breath, "I admit that I liked the idea myself, at first. Lure in demons outside the city for harvesting? It was clean. It kept them out of our hair."

"It had a Germanic efficiency to it," Heinrich says with a smirk.

Oh, now that's not an implication you particularly like.

"I pulled the plug when we hooked an S-Class," W says, leaning forward, "I didn't think we were going to have Gusion showing up asking who decimated one of his legions afterward."

"Let's calm down," you tell them, in what you hope is a gently firm tone, "at the end of the day, it's my mistake - trying to duel him with a shotgun."

"I am actually rather impressed you're not dead," Bernie says, smiling a little, "after a stunt like that."

You can't tell if he's mocking you.

"So how do we turn this three-way-war to our advantage?" you ask, steepling your hands in front of your face, "it sounds like the local government demons are off-balance. We could use this to put pressure on them."

"It's a four-way war," Kelly says, bursting your bubble, "another magical girl team moved in when the legions started coming through."

Fuck, you forgot. Must still be fuzzed out a little.

"Alright," you say, "we're going to need to take stock here. I've been out of the game too long. What do we have, what do they have, and what is everyone actually fighting for?"

You could swear you hear Sue mutter "for the joy of fighting, duh," from down the table, but you ignore it.

"Gusion's got upward of forty legions," W says, "but I'd wager a guess that what we're seeing is just lieutenants trying to make a name for themselves with their squads. If he was really invading, we wouldn't be here."

"And the local demons are mostly fighting them," Kelly says, "they probably just want to keep ahold of the city. Not sure who they're working for, but if things do escalate between then and Gusion, the real fight's going to be in Hell."

"We've spotted three of the other girls," Mary says, "but I'm guessing there are more. I think they're just trying to move in our turf, given how many demons there are to hunt."

"And for my part," Bernie says, "I'd like to have a city, and not a pile of rubble. And not have this become a five-way war."

That threat barely has a veil on, and you see faces tighten around the table.

>I think we need to have a meeting with our local government demons - if we can get them in our pocket, everything gets easier
>I kind of know somebody on the other side (Reveal your sister's nature to Bernie)
>We're pulling a hostile takeover on those other magical girls. We can't have a wildcard like that floating behind our backs
>It sounds like I'm going to need a round two against Gusion
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2709258
>We're pulling a hostile takeover on those other magical girls. We can't have a wildcard like that floating behind our backs
>It sounds like I'm going to need a round two against Gusion
>>
>>2709258
>>I think we need to have a meeting with our local government demons - if we can get them in our pocket, everything gets easier
I kinda want to go after the magical girls, but this seems like the easier route. We're natives, we were keeping the peace before we left for Japan, and when we got taken out things kept getting worse. If they want stability, working with us seems good for that.

I mean, the demon baiting was our idea, but maybe we downplay that?
>>
>>2709258
Local demons are out. They've always had an issue with us, as they are demons and we have magical girls.

Sister's nature would be amusing to see Bernie's reaction, but is a needless tip of our hand.

Hostile Takeover is tempting, but risks tipping our hand with the scam we're pulling with the girls contracts.

Round two will need an actual plan beforehand this time, while remembering that a duke of hell isn't dumb and will also come prepared.

>>We're pulling a hostile takeover on those other magical girls. We can't have a wildcard like that floating behind our backs
This feeds into our long term plans and boosts our powerbase. We will need to not be completely overt though.
>>
>>2709267
Support
>>
>>2709267
19:42 - 18:00 or so Voting period.

This isn't necessarily a hard 'route lock', it just gives some idea of the direction you're headed.

Fuck, that took forever to write.
>>
>>2709271
I think the best thing to do is just let the government fight the other demons, it keeps them both a bit out of the picture. Plus, we don't want to give them any reason to look into us and our fucked up magic situation; they might call in the feds, and we can't handle them.
>>
>>2709258
>We're pulling a hostile takeover on those other magical girls. We can't have a wildcard like that floating behind our backs
>It sounds like I'm going to need a round two against Gusion
>Hey, Freebles, Bro, make me a playlist of every eighties movie training montage song you can find, because I’m going to save the REC center from being demolished.
>>
>>2709258
How strong is their rat? We need to stop that bastard before he does something like contract a school of local children.
>>
>>2709307
Investigate who the parents of the magical girls are. They might know enough to at least help us get the rat.
>>
>>2709258
>We're pulling a hostile takeover on those other magical girls. We can't have a wildcard like that floating behind our backs
>It sounds like I'm going to need a round two against Gusion
>>Sword, how long would it take for some turbo accelerated training?
>>
>>2709309
They're from out of town. Mary's bunch was the only MG group in town originally.
>>
>>2709251
If that was true then they wouldn't be so quick to explode them or let them die so easily as they do in a normal cycle. They clearly (imo) have ways to recoup the energy after they set off a magical meltdown.
>>
>>2709316
We have teleportation. That doesn't mean anything if we an figure out their general place of origin.
My idea is to do the cage match except the cage gets smaller like fortnite and we know where the cage is so Freebles can go full predator while having traps when we start the hunt.
>>
>>2709292
The government demons did a number on Harriet. just via figuring out her name. If they can gank Harriet like that they they can do so to at least half of us. Giving them any rope to hang us with when they have the resources to shoot us too is a damn stupid idea.
>>
>>2709325
So you want to turn the city into a game of survival like battle royale? I don't think that's going to end well with everyone's mental state intact.
>>
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>>2709258
"Let's pull it back down to three," you say, looking at Bernie, "we're pulling a hostile takeover on those magical girls. We can't have a wildcard like a rat floating around behind our backs."

"Good," Freebles whispers in your ear, "I was getting hungry."

Has he been on your shoulder the whole time?

Hopefully Fred thought you'd just gotten a new family pet.

You look down the table. Sue's eyes are shining. Einz is almost bouncing in her chair, Karen's grinning, and Rachel has a rather bitter looking smirk on her face.

You're guessing she's had a run-in with the other girls already.

"We were kind of thinking about that already," Mary says, "let's show them whose town this is."

Did you just order a magical gang war?

"Let's not be quite that overt," you say, "we're not kicking them out, we're recruiting for round two with Gusion. We're actually going to plan this time."

You can feel a little disappointment from the girls, but Bernie's looking a little less worried.

"If you're giving him the honor guard challenge," the dragon tells you, rising from his chair, "you can't argue that I'm part of yours. And I would prefer not having to make a deal with a devil for the town."

He jerks his head at Heinrich.

"Thanks for the meal," the knight says, getting up from the table, "you'll have to tell, uh, Marlene, was it?" he asks, glancing from you to Liska, "that it was all quite good."

"We'll let her know," Liska says, and the two of them walk for the door.

>Follow Bernie and ask about auctions in Hell
>Find Harriet after the meal, and ask about the laundry list of questions you have for her
>Find W and Kelly after the meal, and ask about your sister
>Start planning for the 'hostile takeover'
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2709364

>Follow Bernie and ask about auctions in Hell and where the fuck the heavenly host is.
>>
>>2709364
>>Follow Bernie and ask about auctions in Hell
>Find W and Kelly after the meal, and ask about your sister
>Find Harriet after the meal, and ask about the laundry list of questions you have for her
Then
>Start planning for the 'hostile takeover'
>>
>>2709364
>Find Harriet after the meal, and ask about the laundry list of questions you have for her
That quctiom question can wait till later. If needed we could just ask our sister or the demon later. Also after this,
>Find W and Kelly after the meal, and ask about your sister
More info wouldn't hurt.
>>
>>2709364
>Find W and Kelly after the meal, and ask about your sister
>ask Kelly if he knows anything about power armor
that'd surprise me, but maybe he knows a guy who knows a guy who has a prototype somewhere
>>
>>2709364
>Start planning for the 'hostile takeover'
They dont have a damn clue what's about to hit them
>>
>>2709364
>Find Harriet after the meal, and ask about the laundry list of questions you have for her
>Start planning for the 'hostile takeover'
These two at minimum
>>
>>2709352
You don't have to lure him into THIS city. There are plenty of ghost towns in the US. Set traps. give freebles a bandanna and make the walls close in. This is assuming there has to be some sort of ritualized combat and Kelly can't just snipe the fucker before Freebles goes and eats it.
>>2709364
>Ask Harriet if THIS is the apocalypse she was talking about already.
>Hostile takeover.
We want to figure out the names of these girls.
Figure out if their parents are the type to try and get revenge on the rats while not revealing how deep our bench is incase of a leak.
>We want to know this ferret's rep and MO since he clearly thinks hes tough shit if he's muscling in on an entire city from outside like this.
Are rat quotas public information? If he has any girls under him that are extremely in debt and/or about to be purged they are prime turncoats. They have to realize that when this demon war is over they're going right back into the red.
We want absolutely every angle covered.
>Ask Bernie about hell auctions and if he has any advice/stories that might come in handy for this situation.
>>
>>2709364
>>Find W and Kelly after the meal, and ask about your sister
>>Start planning for the 'hostile takeover'

Considering our plans to fight the demon duke again, getting a handle on a potentially friendly demon faction shouldn't be ignored. Also it'd be nice to have an actual conversation with her.
>>
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>>2709364
You think about following Bernie, and asking him about auctions in Hell, and what dragons might be attending them, but he doesn't seem to be in a great mood.

And that might give away a little too much about your recent reunion with your sister.

So you eat, as the table talks about, well, stuff.

Normal conversations.

...For magical girls.

Which means they're teasing Karen about a bull-headed demon they fought last night, and arguing about who's got a better shot against the team of rival magical girls.

As you listen, overhearing scraps of information here and there, you start to get a feel for what you're up against on that front. One of them's into fire, another screws around with shadows, and the last one saw too many laser light shows growing up.

And Rachel's pissed about the last duel they had. Oh, she does the whole 'beams of light' thing too, doesn't she?

You're probably never going to figure out how somebody managed to cover up two magical girls firing giant lasers at each other across the city skyline.

Magic, maybe.

After breakfast's over, you manage to catch Harriet alone in a hallway.

"I have got to talk to you," you tell her.

"I'm listening," she says, face as neutral as usual, "unfortunately, I don't think I've encountered Gusion or our new rivals before."

That's probably good news. Means they weren't involved in the end of the world before, right?

But it means she doesn't have any info.

"What are," you begin, pausing as you try to collect your thoughts, and remember those words, "'Time Phantoms'?"

"How do you know about that?" Harriet hisses at you.

"Uh, you told me," you say, "while I was on a coma."

"No," she whispers, "I've never told anyone about them. They're things I see sometimes - dark, flickering shapes like people. I think they're like an echo where someone was there in another version of the world, but they're not here this time around. Actually," she continues, looking a little sruprised, "I haven't seen many of them since I started hanging around you."

"So I hallucinated you telling me about them?" you ask. That's kind of an odd thought. How would you hallucinate someone telling you something you don't already know?

"I guess," she whispers, "wait, you've seen them?"

"A couple of times," you tell her, "most recently when I was trying not to die in my own bed."

"Probably the drugs," she says, "or a side effect of your stay in Hell. There have been a couple of demon invasions ending the world before, but I can't remember us being crazy enough to go there ourselves. Not sure what effect that would have."

"Did any of those invasions start like this?" you ask her.

"No," she tells you, "and what was the 'family matter' earlier? If you don't mind me asking."

[SET 1:]
>I do mind
>Tell her (and maybe some other folks)
[SET 2:]
>Could that have been another timeline's 'you'?
>You know anything about the government demons?
>You know anything about how those other invasions started?
>WRITE IN
>>
>>2709550
>Tell her (and maybe some other folks)
There's not any reason to keep it from people in our group.

>Could that have been another timeline's 'you'?
We also saw our sister in the house at one point, so who knows what was going on.
>>
>>2709550
>Tell her
and just her
maybe we died in another timeline and our sister got PISSED, who knows?

>The morphine probably helped, yes
>Could that have been another timeline's 'you'?
>>
>>2709550
>Tell her
>You know anything about how those other invasions started
>>
>>2709550
>>Tell her (and maybe some other folks)

>>Could that have been another timeline's 'you'?
>>
>>2709550
>Tell her (and maybe some other folks)
>>2709570
Supporting
>>
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I think I'm done for the night. Have fun posting more votes until my return.

Next runtime will be announced on my twitter: https://twitter.com/HaikuDeluge

Archive link, for those who need it: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Shotgun

As usual, questions/comments/death threats/etc. will be answered or ignored at my whim.


NOTES:
>ctrl-f thread for 'Harriet' to find things people have talked about asking her
>half the posts are about getting her in bed with the MC and his wife
>whathaveidone.jpg

I really did not expect to write a 'MC gets dragged to Hell and convalesces' thing, but I think it's turning out interestingly. I was glad I got to timeskip the MC's crew even farther forward, and we got to see his sister again.

The 'wake up chained to a wall with a bag over your head and a dominating woman in the room' scenario was straight-up stolen from >>2704814
once I realized the MC was going to Hell. I took it in a slightly different direction, though. Pic related.


>>2709566
>We also saw our sister in the house at one point, so who knows what was going on.
It's debatable how much of that post really happened, and how much was dreams/being drugged up.
>>
>>2709550
>Tell her (and maybe some other folks)
I don't see why we had to hide it before outside of risks like Bernie getting bad ideas.The yarnball means everyone is a family matter.
>Sounds like you don't have a groundhog day loop as much as you just go to the next dimension. Is there anything we should worry about deciding to follow you?
>>
>>2709619
I'm really digging the author notes at the end of every run.
Keep chugging on haiku you're doing good
>>
>>2709646
>I'm really digging the author notes at the end of every run.
I'm glad to hear that. I sometimes debate posting comments and getting into conversations in threads, and there are some topics and discussions I deliberately don't touch because unless speculation is founded on something that's actually happened, I feel like adding my two cents' carries too much weight as the QM, but I do like talking about the process of writing this and my feelings about where this crazy story has gone.

I'm on an adventure as much as you guys are!

I used to run quests far more adversarially, like a traditional GM, and talking about the quest is one way to avoid that.

Speaking of which, I ended up really liking the Visiting The In-Laws arc. I think most of it hit a the sweet spot of 'this is a place that would exist and function without the MC and does not revolve around him' while still having the MC be able to make a real, positive difference while he was there.

I'm very worried about bogging the quest down with more characters, but it made sense to me that more magical girls would show up if a lot of demons did.
>>
>>2709619
Thanks for running. It's good to have you back.
>>
>>2709698
>character bloat
fabricate a reason for us to not interact with them much after the introduction?
>>
>>2709727
Like having them die 2 seconds after we shake their hands during introductions?
>>
>>2709698
You're right to be cautious, these players are vicious when it comes to, certain topics.
I agree with the Japan arc, especially with how there was little to no resistance when given the option to leave. Namek is a dangerous hole to fall in to.

you could always kill off a few characters if they start getting too numerous
>>
>>2709727
That's easy enough. I was gonna vote for Kelly to put our girls through basic training and/or
setup a chain of command. Delegating responsibility is all we really have to do. Keep whatever MG seems the most interesting as a liaison.
>>
>>2709767
I can support this if our hostile takeover succeds later.
>>
>>2709550
>Tell her (and some other folks)
They deserve to know, I think we were being overly cautious with that one.
>Could that have been another timeline's 'you'?
>You know anything about how those other invasions started?
>>
> MG who shoots a big fuck you of lasers of friendship
>MG who is a card captor
>MG from touhou (Reimu, Marisa, Yonmu, and Sanae)

Which MG are we gonna encounter anons?
>>
>>2709719
>It's good to have you back.
Thanks. It's really good to be back - I forgot how much I liked doing this.

And how much more fun it is to run a freewheeling setting like Rock Quest than a claustrophobia-inducing cyberpunk nightmare city of secret plots.

>>2709727
Time to eat Tite Kubo's heart to gain his powers!
>>2709745
Obviously, it would be better to kill off established characters because people care about them.
>>2709766
> these players are vicious
This is comparatively chill compared to my CMCQ players. I've actually been pleasantly surprised with how flame-resistant these threads seem to be. Not sure if that has more to do with this being /qst/ and not 2014 /tg/ in the middle of the internet burning.
>Namek is a dangerous hole to fall in to.
I think it lasted just as long as it needed to. Once the murder/flood/recovery story, the 'meet these crazy fuckers and get them to like you', and training Melon wrapped up, there was no point in sticking around. T.T. (or U.U., or W) porting in to go "fuck, a Duke of Hell is causing trouble" was the planned ending for the arc the whole time, partially because I could pull the trigger as soon as there was nothing left to do. That's why every update from home was "we're getting bigger and bigger demons".
>you could always kill off a few characters if they start getting too numerous
Time to eat Urobuchi's heart to gain his powers!
>>2709767
If we build an organization, we'll have to organize it. I'm a little worried about losing the personal touch we've got with the girls (since that's been a driver on this quest, and we've already got a couple we barely know), or creating characters who feel too similar.
>>
>>2709873
>If we build an organization, we'll have to organize it. I'm a little worried about losing the personal touch we've got with the girls (since that's been a driver on this quest, and we've already got a couple we barely know), or creating characters who feel too similar.

We always said we can't be the only dad out there that gives a damn. This is simply a good time to prove it. Although we're probably being overly harsh on the various other parents of the MGs we already have. Even if we disagree with them, a few would immediately screw up (Harriet's parents not realizing just how serious Harriet was about cops being demons) and/or think they're dicks they would be willing (if not able) to do what we did. Except for Sue's parents. They clearly have fucking issues and we haven't even met them yet. Or maybe even them, but her dad is being retarded about something and needs to hit rock bottom already since I'm pretty sure the news would just make him drink even more.
>>
>>2709766
Kaz, never forget.
>>
>>2709967
Dude, too soon
>>
Guys i just realized
The MC allegedly killed a wendigo with only an axe with the power of shrooms.
So does shrooms + demon killing shotgun = dead Gusion?
>>
>>2710336
Gotta get him some peyote before we hit hell.
>>
>>2710336
Wait, harriet did mention getting slammed makes it easier last time. Maybe weshould drink a bit before the next fight?
>>
>>2709873
I think that /qst/ found its place and attracted a good crowd, once the self inflicted growing pains subsided. The first year was Bad.

It was shitty place when fatguys were gloating and disrupting the board because they had "won", while questers thought they had "lost" and believed that if they acted like fucking monkeys by shitting on their own plate, it was going to show the mods what a terrible and awful board they had made. Obviously if a handful of spiteful posters sabotaged quests, antagonized those who just wanted to play, and fought a shitposting war against moderation we'd be... what? Shut down, allowed back to /tg/?
>>
>>2709767
I second, or whatever the number of people supporting this already is, starting to delegate.

After all, we ARE trying to avoid Freebles boss' attention. Which means we should send the other gang of MG to s different area after this is resolved.

Have we considered diplomatic approaches to Gusion?

Not allying and definitely not tying ourselves to him, but maybe just a truce where we go after other Demonic rivals of his while he runs interference so we don't have a repeat of a Boss demon coming after us.

We can also work with our sister as well to put her in a position to usurp Gusion before his shocking but inevitable betrayal of us. If it goes well she can then not only sieze his territory but also roll over the rivals we were weakening. Not only will that give her what I assume to be a significant amount of power and authority that she won't have to serve other demon lords, but it will also allow her to keep Gusions vassals and servants too busy to rebel against her at first, and then she can either kill them off by putting them on the front lines if the war goes poorly, or if it goes well she will be able to claim legitimacy as the ruler by virtue of her success, and grant the old nobles territory both to pacify them by rewarding the service in war but also to remove them from their established base of support in their original territory. This also reinforces her legitimacy as their ruler because if she isn't then the rewards she gave out are invalid. Then she can subvert whomever is left behind to manage the original territory, or come up with ways to make their regents fail repeatedly and weaken any nobles who still dissent her authority.

Realistically we probably won't do any of that, except maybe I can convince people to support the truce and eventual betrayal of Gusion. It has always seemed like most people on /qst/ don't like dealing with politics, and long term planning is difficult due to the drop in nature of questing.
>>
>>2710593
Ambitious, but really we should keep it simple. It'll never happen the way we want it.

Simple, clear and achievable goals. One at a time. I think that right now, our biggest issue is Bernie. We know that the new MGs are playing against us. We know that the Hell demons are belligerent and actively hostile. The police demons will turn on us at the drop of a hat if they figure out what and who we are.

Bernie however is neutral and depending on how we deal with this situation he will either stay neutral or become our enemy, so our first order of business is to make sure that he does NOT turn on us. Dealing with the MGs is a good first step because they are a small number of combatants and aren't already entrenched in the city or have an inexhaustible supply of troops. They can be dealt with relatively easy and that will give us some room to breathe and plan.

>>2710605
What?
>>
>>2710593
Although that sounds great, I dunno about this. Sure, politics would be good if we can manage it, but I dont know if all players can manage politics to the degree you described while managing details they need to take in mind.I certainly wouldn't have thought of that, dunno if I'm the minority here so ignore if it isn't
Also, your post reminded me that we don't know much about how hell works. Be it from freebles, our sister, hell even bernie, I want to know how it generally works beyond 'big guy squish small guy, small guy obeys'.

>>2710610
Sounds good.
>>
>>2710610
Sorry posted that in the wrong quest.

As for Bernie, I think we already resolved his *concern* about us, not only did he seem satisfied with our decision on how to start resolving the flustercuck we caused with the summoning and nearly dying.

He doesn't want to make a deal with a Demon, fair enough, but I think that it would be acceptable to negotiate a truce where we don't work with Gusion, but simply take advantage of each other where we summon and kill Demons from a different faction and Gusion fights them in Hell so they can't risk sending their heavy hitters at us and weakening their forces in Hell.

Really we don't even have to make a deal, simply make an opportunity for him that's too good to pass on instead of fighting us.

For some reason I actually kind of like Gurion, based on that one comment about Twister. I mean, why would he even know about it much less have played it before. It makes me wonder where male demons come from, if MGs become female demons is it possible for Sorcery to accidentally someone into a Demon? Do some damned souls become Demons? Or is Gurion for some reason a Mortalboo and at his lair he has a bunch of normal household stuff stashed away that he sometimes takes out and pretends he's a mortal? "

> "I train with my Twister game every day, this superior game can cut clean through boredom because players are folded over a thousand times, and is vastly superior to any other past time in Hell. I won my twister mat 40 years ago in a competition, and I have been getting better every day."

While I don't want to make any deal other than a truce to stay out of each others way, I definitely do want to talk to him about how Hell works, what Demons want beyond souls (if anything), if they actually are from "outside" or if that's what people have assumed, why he challenged us to a duel when Demons are supposed to be just terrible - because if they do have a moral code and face loss of their social status if they violate the mores of their society, then diplomacy is an option provided we understand how the terms are contextualized.

Like how Japan didn't feel that the strike on Pearl Harbor was a surprise attack while Americans considered it a war crime as it happened without a formal declaration of war and during negotiations.

The Japanese perspective however was that the American oil embargo was already an act of war against them, with negotiations being a strategic delaying action by the American Government to delay conflict until Japan didn't have the oil reserves left and was unable to fight.

It's like beaking at a guy and talking shit, getting up in their face and insulting them, and then acting shocked if they hit you because they didn't warn you to take your hands out of your pocket.

There's some legit evidence that the WH and US military knew that an attack was a possibility, and even the approximate time when it would happen based on Japans oil reserves (since they were Japans main supplier).
>>
>>2710654
Bernie can still burninate us. Our original promise to him was a stable, neutral city. We betrayed that, and he is allowing a chance to contain the damage and end the conflicts. We're not safe until we deliver.
>>
>>2710659
I think you mean ''Bernienate'' us!

''badum-tish''

...I'll see myself out, thank you.
>>
Personally I like the sound of a radical destabilization of hell, where our sister comes out on top of the others as the demon queen or closest equivalent
our sister is kinda hot, you guys think liska is into that sort of stuff?
>>
>>2710894
Why
Why do these things always lead that way
>>
>>2710898
>>2710894
introducing: anon. His hobbies include porn, porn, weeb material, fantasy and porn.
>>
>>2710898
Because it was enabled once, and that is all they need to justify continually dragging the rest of us into participating in their fetishes.
>>
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>>2710894
You
Stop being a fat nigger
>>
>>2710894
Do not stray from the real objective here. Sue
>>
>>2710894
>That spoiler
I think there's a relevant Blazblue winquote for this one: https://youtu.be/FdcLHz-nsTA?t=36s
>>
>>2710593
One of the several plans I made (if we are forced to win via bloodshed since the QM wants blood for the blood god atm )was along the lines of declare the bonds of brotherhood and family as our weapon which our sister uses to come in and backstab the Duke from the other side.

The bid is that he will be subservient to ALL of us, If he loses when asked about how it happened he must say that he was a baby prissy pants and cry tears as you recount how we bent him over and spanked him with our belt and he shalt be allowed to reveal no other details of the battle. (Possibly involve a contract lawyer to trick him into subservience via extremely extensive legalese whether he wins or not) If he wins he regains his honour. When he asks why he should accept that we say He can decline if he wants to be known as Duke of the bleeding stump leg that was too scared for a proper rematch for the rest of eternity. No outside interference from his legions is allowed which basically binds all of his minions from stopping our sister.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZAY-78zhmw
>>
>>2710898
Apparently we're probably a redneck having a farm and countryside when we are young. Banjos too and love for shotguns.
>>
So how long before shit goes JOJO on us?

I mean, we ARE using Old Joseph as the focal character's overall appearance, and we're already neck deep in Nasuverse fuckery, Magical Girls, Japanese Youkai, and straight up demonic bullshit, so why not, right? I'm surprised being in a coma for a month and ending up in hell hasn't unlocked some ancient totally-not-Joestar-bloodline bullshit in us, whether it's THE RIPPLE, or STANDS, or whatever else.
>>
>>2711804
I hope not. Part of our charm is that we're a normal guy thrust into the supernatural world. "You're a wizard, Harry" ruins that.
>>
>>2711804
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09jT83-OvEQ
there was part of me that wanted MC to pretend like he was possessed by the sister as he woke up, but evidently, that would have ended badly, so I'm glad we didn't vote on that.
>>
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>>2710898
Pic related.

Although I'm not sure those are opposites for demons...

It's also due to the fact that I do bring it up, or at least joke about it, in the story, and I've got no problem with people discussing it, or writing non-canon smutbins and whatever.

I think actually taking that route with any of the option(s) has a high potential to ruin the quest, and probably isn't something the MC would do. Hilariously, all the smut writeups so far have reflected this by having him be basically dominated into it.

>>2711804
>shit goes JOJO on us?
I can't even come up with powers as crazy as the madman who writes those. Besides, the MC already created an "IT JUST WORKS" magic... by accident.

As >>2711816 points out, part of the appeal of the character so far is that, although he's in great shape for pushing fifty, and he's pretty tough, he's a regular guy, at least compared to most of the characters in the story.

I am really afraid that letting go of that would be giving up something that a lot of people like about this quest.

>>2711851
Oh man, I forgot about that.
>>
>>2711816
I suspect our crazy uncle was a wizard that somehow managed (manages?) to live to old age.
To do list:
W needs to publish the initial paper so that he gets wizard groupies.
We need to do an actual audit of the girls accounts and do actual work on editing the contracts because we have yet to actually do so when that was the main purpose of the alliance.
Call the customer service center for the afterlife.
Get enemy breefles ritually devoured on videotape (preferably while it shows it's true colours/nature) to show to the out of towners and establish dominance. (interrogate it for information before killing?)
Attempt to summon our sister. If a lesser demon shows up instead, we bring forth offerings of her favorite stuff and/or candy to let her know it's us. Plus it's probably really hard to get that stuff in hell. Let her know of our nefarious plan ( >>2711454 )
that gets her control over an extra dukedom and ask if she wants to try it. If yes then we may have to consider asking Bernie if he wants in on the yarnball so that he can fight since he clearly wants to. (Bad idea imo as Bernie is an ally but not a friendly even if his lover is more affable)
Consider challenging demons to Mortal Kombat?
Consider grabbing contract lawyer if any of the new MG have one as a parent. Have them unknowingly work on fixing their daughter's contract to gauge their reactions. Then after the work is done but before it' activated let them know who the contract belongs to. If they were betraying us then they are going to panic a whatever they just did to their child.
Probably other evil ideas but I can't remember right now.
>>
>>2711816
>>2711885
Fair enough. I agree that it is a big part of the quest's charm, but despite our decidedly human status, we're not exactly a normal guy. Our sister is a former magical girl turned Duchess of Hell, our wife is a Kitsune, our daughter is a Hanyou Magical Girl, we work for a fuckmothering dragon, got our hands on a talking demonic sword with a penchant for VIOLENCE MOST DESTRUCTIVE, we've gone full mob boss protectorate on every magical girl we've met thus far, helped our wife's family sort its shit out and improve relations with the surrounding populace, got her land goddess mother's blessing, and we're bumping shoulders with some big deal folks in the magical world.

The only thing normal about us is our physical appearance, and even then, we're in damn good shape for someone in his 50s.

We're so far removed from the "normal guy deals with abnormal circumstances" concept that our only claim to that is the fact we didn't get turned by a vampire yet, became a Muscle Wizard, or end up being some chosen one in an ancient obscure prophecy.

We're already playing through what amounts to a serious power trip, and the moment we got actively involved in trying to save our daughter from sharing the same fate as our sister, we've shed any sense of normalcy as a person.

I'm willing to bet Fred is a part of some super secret anti-magic organization who keeps an eye on us because of our ties to magic via our formerly magical girl sister. Or he could be a fucking Belmont stand-in. I just know that he's probably definitely not as normal as he appears to be.
>>
>>2711949
Fred's real secret is that he doesn't actually enjoy American sports.
>>
>>2711976
That's my secret neighbour, I'm more of a rugby fan.
>>
>>2711949
An important consideration is that despite all that stuff, we still /consider/ ourselves to be just a normal guy. We have more or less treated the supernatural stuff similar to normal stuff.

It would be amusing to see us deal with a mundane issue now that we have all these extra tools at our disposal. Like a normal bank robbery or something.
>>
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I've just realized that there's about a 95% setting compatibility between this quest and Rock Quest. Maybe a little less, given that they both rely on thematic consistency over full-formed system mechanics.

Fuck, if I hadn't overlapped the character images, those guys could charge back through this quest.

>>2711949
>we're not exactly a normal guy
I think that's still more a function of the abnormal people the MC's won over, or the series of increasingly abnormal situations he's dealing with, rather than being someone utterly abnormal as a qualitative measure.

Magic casts this into more black-and-white terms, since it's "you're getting dragged into the magical world because there's something magic about you (or there will be)" or "you're getting dragged into the magical world because you know people in it, and someone punched a hole through the masquerade".

Nonmagically, I guess the best parallel I can come up with from popular media is Walter White - he's not from the criminal 'world', but ends up crossing into it and becoming a quasi-boss there, because of who he was and the skills he had from his life outside it, and not because he's a great criminal. White's actually a really shit criminal until he gets the hang of it.

I believe part of my premise has been from early chapters "if this was a 'true crime' flick, it's the story of a man who finds out his daughter's hooked on drugs and turning tricks for her dealer, and he beats up the dealer, and then they made a deal and go into business together and plot against the dealer's boss. Originally it's just to make sure his daughter can get her fix, but things spiral out of control."

>what amounts to a serious power trip
Ok, that one stung.

>>2711976
>Fred's real secret
Fred's real secret is how a character created from a set of write ins I groaned out loud to see has actually become a character I enjoy writing.

It's a secret even from me, but I think he reminds me of several people I've known.>>2712051

>>2712051
>mundane issue
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>>2712216
>Ok, that one stung.
Sorry about that. I don't mean to sound harsh, but in a certain sense, it's kind of true. Because we've usually gone after the most batshit crazy options when presented with them, and generally succeeded in pursuit of that, we've kind of become more than the average bear, in a manner of speaking. We've inadvertently set up a precedent for this. Fundamentally yes, we're still a regular guy, but the shit we've done is well outside the scope of what a normal human should be capable of from both a physical standpoint and an interpersonal one, though we have the excuse of very powerful supernatural backup, very SMART supernatural backup, and our beautiful fox waifu.
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Since Haiku didn't quest for today I present you some writefaggotry from myself.

yes I'm that anon that wrote that Mary smut but fuck it let's do this. Like I said I'm not a good writer much worse being a smut one but he'll I'm damn trying to make me horny enough to make one.

Also sorry for bad grammar, bad punctuation, wrong spelling and other English debauchery

Please enjoy Harriet smut
https://pastebin.com/NLHFxYwP
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>>2712521
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>>2712530
Yeah what the fuck I'm doing with my life. I'm sorry anon.
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>>2712330
>I don't mean to sound harsh
It's kind of my knee-jerk reaction again something I read as: "this is a fucking power fantasy MC series". At the end of the day, in virtually every genre, the protagonist is abnormal just because they are the protagonist. I'm just hoping the MC's not hitting those Mahōka Kōkō no Rettōsei levels of "I'm the best, just the best".
>we've usually gone after the most batshit crazy options
I'm not super sure about that, but they seem to have worked out (mostly) fine. They may be crazy from one perspective, absolutely retarded from another, and make complete sense from a third.
> though we have the excuse of very powerful supernatural backup
...And that's why I spent several hours putting the MC through Hell, a month of recovery, and then the angry aftermath of that stunt where he decided to go do it alone and not call in that backup.

Not saying anything you've said is illegitimate. Mostly trying to make sure we're on sort of a similar page.

>>2712521
>Harriet smut
I'm scared. Pic related.
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>>2712521
Not bad for a first draft, though it needs an editor.
I'm choosing to focus on the writing itself, rather than the content.
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>>2712551
It's vanilla don't worry
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>>2712559
The thing is even though with editor I'm pretty much stupid to notice one until I post it then few minutes later realize how stupid I am.


Yeah
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>>2712551
The fact that you had the MC get blindsided because he got cocky and decided to fly solo has alleviated my concerns for the time being. Hopefully this has taught the anons who decided they wanted to show off to reign it in a bit, too. I feel like the reason that most of them went with the solo option was because they had every reason to believe it'd work out for them due to the last few times we've thrown down against supernatural forces... even though we were facing off against a DUKE OF HELL. At the very least, we got a bittersweet temporary reunion with our sister, so that was nice. Here's hoping we can reunite on a more permanent basis, and on less pressing terms. She's missed out on SEVERAL of her niece's birthdays so she's gotta make up for it BIG time.
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>>2712578
>I'm pretty much stupid to notice one until I post it
I feel the same way about story posts far too often.

I still need to get up the courage to read this...

>>2712593
The Hell of QMing is trying to match your visions and the players' visions of 'this is being stupidly cocky' vs. 'this is riding the line, but it'll be awesome if we pull it off'.

Trying to establish a shared idea of what's in those two categories at any given point.

>the last few times we've thrown down against supernatural forces
I don't think the MC's ever had a solo win against a demon since he scared off the minor demon in the first thread. Every other demon fight since has been 2v1 or 3v1.
True, he's put up really good showings against magical girls and youkai, but some of them have been drunk, some of them have been high, and some of them have been psychos that think running straight at a target rolling good dice is a good attack plan.
> At the very least
At this point, it's basically traditional for QMCs in my quests to have a near death experience. It all seemed to fit.
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>>2712669
On another note... when we were younger, would you say we were a dead ringer for a young Joseph Joestar, or given that our sister is basically Arturia Pendragon, we probably looked more like Fate/Prototype's Arthur Pendragon?

I mean, both characters have green eyes so you could spin it either way, I guess.
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>>2712669
>>the last few times we've thrown down against supernatural forces
Against a demon, maybe not, but our shotgun got us pretty far again all sort of supernaturals. How many limb have we blown off now?
>but some of them have been
their mental state is one of those things that doesn't really stick after the fact, at least for me.
>psychos that think running straight at a target rolling good dice is a good attack plan.
It'd be pretty easy to underestimate us, and some of them are powerful enough they don't bother with trying to be efficient.
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>>2712685
Interestingly enough, there are a fair number of people who started life as blondes, then their hair went toward brunette at some later point, finishing after puberty, so potentially both of those could be correct, depending on the age.

So I have compiled a potentially HIGHLY INACCURATE AND TOTALLY JUST FOR FUN pic related on this topic, because it amused me.

Apparently seeing your sister walk into Hell between 14 and 18 darkens your hair and gives you good motivation to hit the weights. Also,the MC seems to keep going back and forth between contacts and glasses in these pictures...
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>>2711454
>bonds of brotherhood and family
I'd *not* do that before properly researching and making sure he does not have a few billion cousins.
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>>2712521 edited :
https://pastebin.com/7SMYgwR2
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>>2713048
Uhm anon why brunnette? Are you projecting Melon here

Thanks for editing anon you made it better than me doing it.
>>
Can't wait to see the archives
>Japan arc coming to close, Melon became deity of fertility and knows how to transform, challenge to a duel, auctioned for 13,000 and damage control to our turf. Also anon made 3 smuts because QM said so.
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>>2713098
>Melon became deity of fertility
Actually, she just hugged one, which was her grandmother. Turns out there are side effects.
>because QM said so.
"I have no problem with it" and "I said to do it" are very different things.
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>>2713091
idk, I think Melon is blond and Harriet is brown-haired?
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>>2713105
Black hair anon she is Homura expy but considering how anime coloring is her hair is leaning to dark violet
>>
https://pastebin.com/sqfQpYGH

>>2710894
Well here you go!

Lewds for the lewd god! Smut for the Smut Throne!
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>>2713109
I hate you all.
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>>2713109
>tfw this is notably better than the others

Writing improvement over time? Personal feelings for the character? Still kinda fucked up but hey, that's par for the course
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>>2713109
>Thirteen hundred
Seems folks keep forgetting thirteen hundred is 1300
Add an extra zero to that, It was thirteen thousand, 13000.
>>
It's after 4:20AM, and I'm reading smut about my own quest.

I feel like I made a mistake at some point in my life.

>>2713109
>I'm already a demon.
Help, Metal Gear memes are my fetish.
>>2713124
I'm guessing we've got multiple bogeys lewdbin authors. This reads a lot like the earlier Sue one.
>kinda fucked up
I'm finding it more and more hilarious how every one of these ends up being the MC getting dominated (or drunk'd) into fucking someone. Honestly, considering that the MC's happily married, and virtually all his potential other choices are teenagers, there's no way they can't be fucked up.

These are really demonstrating to me how much of a shot in the kneecap this sort of thing would be if it actually went down in quest.

>>2713133
Fact-checking lewdbins isn't the heroism this thread deserves, but it might... ok, let's not kid ourselves here - it's probably not the heroism it needs, either.

But thanks for doing it anyway.
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>>2713109
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>>2713002
Not to mention how freaked everyone else would be. How did Sachiro describe our sisters presence again, "gnawing at his very soul" or some such?

We can't be as reckless as we've been with the brotherhood stuff.
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>>2713163
I believe the term was something to do with a fishhook in his soul
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>>2713109
Poor Melon it seems she's gonna have PTSD about lewd things.
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>>2713109
>4 smuts now
Dear god
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>>2713165
Well, this isn't canon right.
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>>2713186
>>
>it's now Mary and the gang minus melon
>They take turns with you
>Melon found you
>That's m- you know what I give up.
>She leaves the scene hands up in the air

Since we are running this gag how the fuck Melon found us in every lewdbin. Daddy sensors? Hopes that she will save her daddy heroic style?

or the culprit is Liska with her trash fantasy novel? Oh God now I know.
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>>2713109
Beautiful
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>>2713244
Honestly, I'm waiting for the Melon fic, only for the reveal to be Evil Melon from one of those timelines Harriet reseted.
>"Me, that's our Dad!"
>"I know~"
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>>2713251
>Writing
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>>2713261
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>>2713261
What have I done?
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>>2713269
God's work anon. God's work.
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>>2713271
Amen
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>>2713261
absolute madman
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>>2713261
This is getting out of hand
at this point my opinion changed into acceptance simply due to being curious about how far people are willing to take this
Also pic related?
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>>2713251
enjoy

Ok not really I'm not really cut being a smut writer. I mean look at anon who posted a sister smut he is better than me doing this.

God please make me stop
https://pastebin.com/prUfmHLz
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>>2713148
The thing about him is he is too normal that abusing their power to dominate him is very easy to write to. Also teenage ladyboner are very strong especially in anime world.
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>>2713356
While it's not horrible, there's definitely room for improvement in regards to the grammar, but hey, everybody starts somewhere.

God left this place long ago
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>>2713356
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>>2713002
That's why we have anons like you to notice any holes in the plans! Thanks though. I hadn't considered that detail since the dude clearly has trouble remembering how to apply da rulez even if his actual demon power is being able to answer any question.
>>2713163
Everyone else should generally know (except for Bernie as I noted in the plan outline)and we're roughly "safe" from her due to any theoretical backlash she'd get from killing us.
We really need some specific wording that includes both the honour guard and bonds of love/family to enable a sister to walk up from the hell side of the portal and do some shanking.(Leaning towards love since demons are gonna have less of that as a weapon)
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>>2713508
The plan is to complicated. Remember, KISS.

every step is something that can go wrong and especially when we are working with incomplete information.
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>>2713952
It's not really a very complicated plan. The whole thing boils down to declare the weapon as something that brings our allies in while also covering our sister. Then our sister walks through the other end to surprise the Duke with an attack from an angle he wasn't expecting.
The rest is just taunts to make him agree to our conditions (or not consider implications), making sure we don't spontaneously agree to something stupid like handing over the city, and considering other plans that can be integrated into the main one.
>>
I go out for ONE WEEKEND TO CAMP.
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>>2713356
>>2713109
>>2712521
>>2704814
>>2701368
So red is missing and several others also would a kind anon to compile these?
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>>2714425
>“But I don’t want to go among degenerates,” Anon remarked.
>“Oh, you can’t help that,” said another Anon: “we’re all degenerates here. I’m a degenerate. You’re a degenerate.”
>“How do you know I’m a degenerate?” said Anon.
>“You must be,” said the other Anon, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”
>>
>>2713352
> Shotgun-kun, I need you inside me.
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>>2715034
>But daddy if I do it. You'll be dead. I don't want to pull my trigger to you. *cries shotgun-san*
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>>2713356
Extra Scenes


After your friends file out of your room and your Daddy to his bedroom, you see the damage in your own room. That impostor really made a mess. Cleaning the little shards of glasses carefully picking them one by one until there is none.

You might have to apologize for dad for breaking your window.

After cleaning the sprawling books back to their place, carpet flatten and picking unwanted things to trash can. You are now tired.

You just toss yourself to your fluffy bed.

"Mmmmm smells like daddy."

You might not want to change the sheets...just for a day.

Yet your hands and body betrayed you doing to relieve yourself just like how after Grandmother hugged you.

"Come on me....he is my Dad."

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>>2715176
Absolute quality

https://1d4chan.org/wiki//tg/%27s_Smut_Index#Writers
Has some good advice for anyone on this dark path
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I admit, this is not exactly what I expected. Fucking glad none of this shit is canon.

Hopefully I can run tomorrow, but whenever I do run, I'm starting up a new thread.

>>2715379
https://pastebin.com/eVp3jXHv from that link has good tips.

They say something like this in there, but my two cents is that writing sex is like writing a fight. Words are a lot better at getting emotional stakes/effects across than they are at 'Tab A into Slot B'. The second one's a lot harder to write interestingly.

>>2714539
I can neither confirm nor deny authorship of anything linked in that post.
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>>2715602
>Fucking glad none of this shit is canon

Sorry it could be as true and canon as we can be.

just like my VN games
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>>2715883
>it could be as true and canon as we can be.
I get where you're coming from, but given how much of this quest runs on character relationships, I can't see any of these lewdbins not setting off a truly frightening cascade of events - if they were canon.

...usually 'murdered by Sue and/or Liska' would just be the starting point. And a cloud of 'my god what have I done' flowing through the MC's thoughts for a long time. Pic tangentially related.
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>>2715935
It's not the lewdbin im really want to make it canon but the times Melon have to appear in the end and chastitised whoever sexual partner our MC has like she is the defender of Dad chastity.
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>>2715954
New cannon: all the lewdbins are nightmares Melon keeps having, but it's not like she can talk to us about it..
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>>2715967
Perfect
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>>2714550
I was more baffled by the whole "running face first into death when it was clearly demarcated." thing.
the lewd bins are normal for a good quest.
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>>2715967
Alright Anon, you finally convinced me on the whole lewdwrittings. Since it would make sense for her to have screwed up dreams about this AND we keep our "purity" of Dadliness.
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Made some ...writefaggotry I think you call it? myself. Sorry to say, but no smut in this one. Simply how I think Marion's first true meeting with the rest of the team went. Hope it's not too bad.

https://pastebin.com/qbEJAJ5A
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I wonder what theme the other magical girl team would be.

Dibs on pretty cure.
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>>2716541
“Freebles, where do our clothes go?”
Ok, you got me laughing.
“…Both? I’ve got no clue what happens to them but knowing my co-workers…”
Fuck, I'm dying.
“That was quite the display, I guess we all forgot how dramatic it is transforming the first few times.”
Yeah, we do start cutting the stock footage after a few episodes. Technically, the guns that character is depicted with aren't muckets, since they have rifled barrels.
To quote Revolver Ocelot, "you're pretty good".
>>
NEW THREAD: >>2716637

We continue.




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