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You are Alabaster Soliloquy, billionaire by proxy and somehow still sort of a loser.

ON THE LAST SEASON OF FUCK QUEST:
-You got an internship at Darkbloom Analytics, the tech firm where your perpetually drunk older sister Cerise worked.
-A data breach there made national news. The person behind it, a terrorist named Camelia, roped you into her plot to kill the company's CEO: David Darkbloom.
-You developed a relationship with your tomboy childhood friend, Whitney. She's not the brightest.
-You moved into Cerise's apartment. Your insufferable first cousin (once removed), Rose, also got a job at Darkbloom Analytics and moved in alongside you. Rape-fighting swiftly followed.
-Your cute and docile coworker Alex helped you with your orientation.
-You got to know your boss as well, the brilliant but erratic researcher Sable Guiteau. You taught her how to ride a bike!
-Alex and Sable turned out to be working on an augmented reality platform that sorts through the fruits of Big Data to give the user access to nearly unlimited knowledge.
-You became personally acquainted with David Darkbloom, who didn't seem all that evil; and you became REALLY personally acquainted with his daughter, gloomy little chuuni Vivian.
-With the help of intrepid reporter Kay Vera, you found out that David Darkbloom experimented on you with a prototypical version of the AI platform as a child.
-Your sister sucked your dick in a Walmart. It seemed like a good idea.
-You almost got honeypotted by an undercover FBI agent, Noelle, and almost got murdered by Russian mobsters working with David Darkbloom's psychotic wife Mara.
-In the midst of all this insanity, you discovered the joy of dressing Alex in a maid costume, and the terror of watching Cerise circuit-bend defenseless Furbys.
-You learned that David Darkbloom murdered your parents four years prior.
-Camelia succeeded in kidnapping and killing Darkbloom, at the cost of her own life. But the final stage, blowing up his company, hit a snag...
-...Whitney turned out to be David Darkbloom's bastard daughter, and his will left everything to her name.
-Oh, and because of the experimental device still implanted in your ocular nerve from childhood, your physical well-being depends on Darkbloom's servers remaining operational.
-To stop the bombs from going off, Cerise was forced to undergo a little human experimentation herself. Galatea gave her an implant similar to yours. It helped her stop the demolition, but left her brain fried by an overflow of data.
-Whitney took rightful control over Darkbloom Analytics and you began to adjust to a life of absurd wealth. But things are far from over.

---

AND NOW, EPISODE 1 OF FUCK QUEST:
"New Game!!!"
>>
>>3207742
FIRST FOR THE DARKBLOOM SISTERS
THE MOST POWERFUL GIRLS IN THE UNIVERSE
>>
>>3207742
Rose is best girl!
>>
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FIRST FOR - E Y E P A T C H -
>>
WE DID IT BOYS

WE SURVIVED THE HIATUS
>>
#BringBackOurGoddessCerise

Welcome back OP you glorious bastard
>>
Because of a "field too long error" and trying to get the first post up on time, I dropped my trip. Whoops!

Resources since they wouldn't fit in the OP:

Season 1 Index: https://pastebin.com/u/DirtyCeriseFaggot
Season 2 Index: https://pastebin.com/iDiki7kt
Twitter: https://twitter.com/CeriseSoliloquy
Fan Wiki: https://fquest.miraheze.org
Smut Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/u/CeriseSoliloquy (content not allowed on /qst/ will go here)
>>
It's good to be back, gentlemen
>>
Vivian is cute! CUTE!
>>
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Somewhere in northern Alaska
April 21, 202x

It's not just cold. It's not just "freezing" or "bone-chilling" or any other hackneyed phrase people trot out when the temperature dips below 0. The cold inside this cabin is way more complex than that. It has high notes and undertones, motifs and little one-off flourishes; it does pirouettes through your body and touches every part a little differently. It makes your shin splints ring in agony, makes your chest all heavy like it will collapse under the labor of drawing breath, makes your hands feel like they've been turned into oversized foam. Worst of all it envelops your brain in an icy fog that prevents you from thinking clearly.

The little fire in the little furnace in the corner is hardly enough. Huddling close, you feel not even token warmth. It may as well not be lit at all. You shiver miserably and hug yourself.

The howl of wind through the opening front door and the unexpected blast of it against your back nearly knock you over. You reel around, frightened and angry. But it's just your wife, back from a trip into town, all insulated in layers of down puff-jackets and ski pants. She was supposed to be going for groceries but she enters the cabin empty-handed.

"Took you long enough," you grunt as she forces the door shut behind her. It took her three and a half hours, in fact -- you were keeping track. And you were beside yourself with worry, though you would never admit it. Falling into old habits even now.

She fixes you in her gaze. "They're coming," she announces, and your gut does somersaults.

"How did they--"

"We have to go. Now."

You grope at your numb face with your numb right hand. "Did you lead them to us? Figures... I send you into town one time and this is what happens."

"This is YOUR fault," she counters. "Do NOT even think of blaming me. You got sloppy, Al--"

"Fine, fine. We'll talk about it later." She's falling into old habits too, but this isn't the time to get into another of your arguments. She's right. You need to go.

You send her to keep the car warm while you pack your meager belongings. When you're done, as you haul the duffel bags over your shoulder and brace yourself to make the short journey from the front door to the car, you consider the furnace again. You should go and put it out, that's the sensible thing. But you decide it would just be a waste of time. It's not your cabin and you'll never be back again anyway. Let it burn. Everything else is already burning too.

You go out and join your wife, to start again into the unknown; to run.

Season 3 OP (A): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ncjy-f_wafs
>>
>>3207742
First for
R E N E E
E
N
E
E
>>
>>3207742

Welcome back OP!
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Oh good, the subs are right on time, too. Anyone recognize the sub group?
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>>3207759
Oh god
>>
Whitney reaches for the ornate jade bowl of Jelly Bellies on her desktop. "Watch this," she commands.

She takes one -- popcorn flavor, ugh -- and flicks it vertically into the air. Its arc is tight and steady. As it crests only inches from the high-hung ceiling, Whitney braces herself against the desk with both hands, tilts her head back and opens her jaw to a pythonesque circumference. She tries to position herself beneath the hurtling piece of candy by steering her wheeled chair around, using her grip on the desk for leverage. But her micro-adjustments aren't precise enough and the Jelly Belly strikes her in the left eye.

"MY EYE!" she shrieks as she doubles forward and clutches at it. "MY EYYYEEEE!"

"Are you okay?" You ask, shocked into an uncharacteristic show of concern.

"Get the first aid kit!" she says.

You leap to your feet, but then you realize something: "Wait -- where is the first aid kit?"

"I don't fucking know! That's not my job! Go get it!"

You look this way and that, feeling helpless, and finally turn for the door. But Whitney stops you from setting off by holding out a flattened palm. "Hold on. Hold on." She takes her other hand from her eye and straightens her posture. Her face is contorted into a caricature of a wink, her mouth curled up in a grimace, but with effort she forces the injured eye open. Tears stream down her face as she blinks her vision back to normal again. Finally: "I'm okay."

"Christ," you say.

She reaches for the bowl again. "This time for sure," she insists.

You put your hand over the top of it. "You're an idiot. We've got a lot to go over before the meeting on Monday, so how about we table your quest to go blind for now."

Whitney grumbles.
>>
>>3207759
What the fuck? Some future shit?
>>
>>3207770
OP HIDOI
>>
>>3207770
fuck ive missed best baka
>>
>>3207770
>popcorn flavor
Someone needs to stop this madwomen
>>
Oh shit it begins.
>>
Rose2 pokes her head in. Her cotton-candy pink bangs sway with the momentum of it. "Ohayou!"

You shudder.

Whitney leans to one side so she can see around you. "Wisconsin," she says.

Rose2 dangles an arm into the room. She's holding a heavy-looking plastic bag with Kanji characters printed on it. Grease is pooling in the corners of it, visible through the thin material. "Got your lunch!" She says.

"Bring it here," Whitney says, sweeping her things to one side to make room. Rose2 goosesteps in and dutifully sets it down before her. She finishes with a salute.

You fish your order out of the bag and sit across from Whitney again, now joined (unfortunately) by Rose2. "Itadakimasu!" She says, clapping her hands together. By your count, 40% of her speech so far has been pidgin Japanese. Par for the course.

You were hungry, but you hardly have an appetite anymore as you watch Whitney shoveling down her food. She opts for the plastic fork, rather than the chopsticks. She hunches over the bowl and horks her lunch with all the grace and elegance of a pig at a trough.

"How are you not 300 pounds?" You say, genuinely marveling at her.

Whitney makes an "I 'unno" sound through a mouthful of rice. She finishes chewing and adds: "I can't get enough of this chicken and egg bowl. It's addictive as shit."

She's not lying. This is the fifth day running she's had lunch from this restaurant. She tried it at Rose2's suggestion and now it's practically all she wants to eat anymore.

"Rosie, do you know who the chef at this restaurant is?" Whitney asks.

She shrugs. "I think his name is Jorge or Jose or something. All the people in the kitchen at Meiji's look kinda Mexican, actually. I've never seen gaijin cook like this!"

"You do know you're a gaijin, right?" You say.

Rose2 titters as if you're joking.
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>>3207759

Are we getting flashforwards now?

>>3207770
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>>3207770
>Uncharacteristic show of concern for a jelly bean to the eye

PTSD is on the menu tonight boys.
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>>3207747
Which one?
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>>3207783
God, yes.
>>
>>3207783
Ayeeeeee it's Rose!
>>
>>3207783
>Wisconsin
sensible_chuckle.gif
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>>3207783
>"I can't get enough of this chicken and egg bowl. It's addictive as shit."

s u b t l e f o r e s h a d o w i n g
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>>3207783
>Rose2
Is she a Porygon now? Well okay, given the one place we've encountered her before now, she may as well be
>>
>>3207783
Look put anons BEST GIRL coming through!
>>
Whitney points at her with her rice-flecked fork. "Tell Juan he's hired."

This must be International Horrible Mouth Sounds Through Food Day because now it's Rose2's turn: she squeaks and tries to manage "what?" despite the udon noodles hanging from her lips.

"Go back to Magi's--"

"Meiji's," Rose2 mumblingly corrects, cheeks still stuffed with noodles.

"--and tell the chef he's hired. I want him here in our kitchen."

Rose2 swallows. She puts a contemplative forefinger to her chin and stares at the ceiling. "I think the chef on day shift is actually the owner."

"It doesn't matter. I'll pay him whatever, he can name his price. Just go and hire him."

"Can we do that?" Rose2 asks. "Just... go buy someone? What if he wants, like, a million dollars?"

"That's fine."

Rose2 furrows her brow. This is taxing her meager computing power. Between Whitney and Rose2, the collective IQ might crack triple digits if you grade on a curve.

"It's noon," Whitney says. "Do you know how much money I've lost in the stock market today?"

She shakes her head. "Couple thousand?"

"Over a billion dollars."

Rose2 theatrically holds a hand to her lips with the fingers fanned out. "Oh my goodness! That's awful!"

"Literally doesn't matter. That's how rich I am." She reaches into a desk drawer and pulls out a checkbook. "Start him off with $100,000 and see what he says. If he wants more, don't fight him, just tell him he can have it." She fills out the check, rips it free and hands it over.

"I understand." Rose2 folds the check and puts it in her breast pocket, protected by her absurd scarf. She finishes eating with a few giant bites, gets up, and goes.
>>
>>3207783
I can't wait to fuck the weeb out of rose2
>>
>>3207804
>Getting rid of the best part
So when's your first Alex vote?
>>
>>3207803
God damn Whitney
>>
>>3207804
Bad
>>
>>3207803
>Rose2 furrows her brow. This is taxing her meager computing power. Between Whitney and Rose2, the collective IQ might crack triple digits if you grade on a curve.
I'm sold on this dynamic already
>>
>>3207742
glad I could finally make a thread
>>
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"She doesn't understand," Whitney says when she's out of earshot.

"Of course not," you say. "Look, I know I recommended her, but if you decide you want to fire her--"

"Don't get me wrong. I love Rosie. She's a laugh riot." You close your eyes and silently curse your decision to bring Rose2 aboard. "What was that she said before we ate? Eat a Christmas?"

"Itadakimasu," you say.

"What's the translation?"

"It means... let's not get into that. I'd rather know why you want to spend $100,000 on a chef whose food you can already eat whenever you want for... what's the cost of the lunch special, $8.50?"

"$13.50," Whitney says, "which is highway fuckin' robbery by the way. I want him working for me because then I know where he is. If I let him stay at Magical's, who knows, maybe he quits or gets deported or whatever."

"Rose2 just said he owns the restaurant. I'm at least 99% certain he's a citizen if that's the case. So no deportation."

"You trust what Rosie says?" Whitney breathes. "You're a laugh riot too. That bubblegum-smelling pussy make you go stupid or what?"

There's a mental image you'd rather move past as quickly as possible.

"Honestly, Ally." She leans way back in her chair, hands on head, somehow managing to look lithe and athletic even in executive business-wear. (Must be the tan.) "I don't know why you're so gaga for her. She's dumb as pigshit, for real. Not your type at all."

"Why I'm gaga for her?" You repeat. "When have I ever said anything nice about Rose fucking 2?"

"So floating her resume down to Spancer in HR was because..."

"Of pity. It was because of pity."

"Uh huh. Not because you wanted someone to talk about anime panties with."

"You're crazy. You're an actual crazy person if you think I have any sort of, of... kinship, with Rose2."

Whitney cackles. She wiggles her fingers in front of her. "Ohhh no. Senpai's mad!"

The worst part about having Rose2 in such close proximity is that her patois, such as it is, has a tendency to rub off on people.

"Any case," Whitney says, "Rosie is definitely gonna fuck it all up. You wanna go help her?"

[ ] Go with Rose2 to hire the chef from the restaurant.
[ ] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.
[ ] Go find something else to do.
>>
>>3207817
>[ ] Go with Rose2 to hire the chef from the restaurant.
This seems more fun so this
>>
>>3207812
>>3207809
fuck you faggots broken japanese is irritating
you can like anime and not be annoying about it
>>
>>3207817
>[x] Go find something else to do.

OP's Cookery has expanded their menu a lot this season, let's take a bit of a longer look.
>>
>>3207817
[X] Go with Rose2 to hire the chef from the restaurant.
>>
Yes, I missed Whitney.

>>3207817
>[X] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.
>>
>>3207817
>[ ] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.
Send someone else with rose dos
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>>3207817
>making the first choice the Rose2 choice
You absolute bastard. I know all your tricks.
>[x] Go with Rose2 to hire the chef from the restaurant.
>>
>>3207817
>[x] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.
>Send Stackleford to go with her if he's still working here.
>>
>>3207817
[x] go with rose 2
>>
>>3207817
>>other: send rose to supervise rose2
>>
>>3207817
>[x] Go find something else to do.

Gotta see how everyone's holding up after a year
>>
>>3207817
>Eat a Christmas

>[X] Go find something else to do.
>>
>>3207817
>[x] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.

Also here's the Season 3 playlist if anyone wants it: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQuvSDXjKZJoYr8WKcEL8NEeaYylH_KQN
>>
>People rather spend time with the girl we've seen for 2 seasons rather than the new one
Sasuga qst
>>
>>3207817

>[ ] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.

Rose2 is very tanoshii but we can hardly afford to propagate this illusion that we like her.
>>
I missed this. I missed the way OP can describe and set a scene. I missed the characters, I missed the writing, I missed when you see a new thread and it only has eight people posting.

It's been a long time, and I missed this so fucking much.
>>
>>3207817
>[ ] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.
>>
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>>3207846
me too anon, me too
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>>3207817
>[x] Go find something else to do.
>>
[X] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.
>>
>>3207817
[ ] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.

But oh god, this. >>3207838
>>
Whitney takes the first vote of FQ3. Please wait warmly!
>>
>>3207817
>"What was that she said before we ate? Eat a Christmas?"
>"Itadakimasu," you say.
>"What's the translation?"
>"It means... let's not get into that
Kek
>>
>>3207864
Like clockwork.
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>>3207864
fumu fumu, naruhodo
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>>3207864
As is tradition.
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>>3207770
Smartest woman in the world!
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>>3207872
Get back to work Roce!
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>>3207864
Sweet Baby Jesus, I missed this most of all.
>>
>>3207876
Universe anon! She's the smartest girl in the UNIVERSE
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Updated the checklist for Season 3. I'm pretty sure we'll end up fucking all the girls in the Likely section, but I won't be putting them in Confirmed just yet. Gotta see the new tally first.
>>
>>3207890
Stackleford is going to turn up again. So OP can try to get us to kill him. Again.
>>
So what are you anons doing?

I'm currently enjoy desert for dinner Saturday in celebration for S3

>>3207890
This is great. Keep it up anon
>>
>>3207897
Catching up in Index, digesting my tasty sandwich. Probably gonna play Smash after. I'd offer to start a room, but I have a notably poor connection most of the time.
>>
>>3207897
This week's Index set aside for a warm wait. I really expected a couple hours before needing to pull it out though.

Eating some chicken and chips. comfy rain outside. It's a good night.
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>>3207884
>>
>>3207890
I miss Fazil
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>>3207897
im convincing empires to kill each other as angry clouds of space dust
>>
I've waited warmly all this time, and have been rewarded.
Good to have you back OP.
>>3207897
Just cleared Claire A in 3 hours on RE2make.
>>
>>3207817
> "I don't know why you're so gaga for her. She's dumb as pigshit, for real. Not your type at all."
sure thing whitney
>>3207897 >>3207904
Playing Smash with some friends online. Or else I'D offer to start a room
>>
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>>3207895
Stackleford is OP's self begotten curse, and as his faithful readers, it is our duty to see that he is haunted by it for the rest of his days
>>
>>3207909
Good shit

>>3207912
Don't worry anon. OP will deliver
>>
>>3207897
Baking Porkchops. I just put some Sweet Baby Ray's barbecue sauce on three and sat them back in the oven.

Other than that, just watching Youtube videos. I wish it was raining in my way. This a good early B-day gift to get this quest back.
>>
>[x] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.

"In case you forgot, we have to brief the investors on our funding situation on Monday. Then there's Solutions Forum... we have a lot of stuff to do before the weekend begins."

Whitney groans. "Ohhhh man. What a drag..."

"Being CEO is a drag." You've lost count of how many times you've had to explain this to her in the past year. "I have to keep an eye on you. I can't go around with your pet weeaboo, rounding up Mexicans for your kitchen."

"Whatever, dork. At least make sure Rosie's got supervision, then."

You've got just the person in mind for that.
>>
>>3207897
Building some model kits. Gotta do something productive as I'm missing out on my weekend walk to follow fq.

It's good to be back.
>>
>>3207942
>I can't go around with your pet weeaboo, rounding up Mexicans for your kitchen.

Heh.
>>
>>3207942
>You've got just the person in mind for that.
>>
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Rose kept the office where she worked with Cerise last year, during the investigation into the 3-10 hack. Naturally she appropriated all the cubicle space from the H1-B workers who were part of the team too, although she hasn't put it to much worthwhile use. The 13th floor is mostly empty save for a couple smaller offices where her parents, now legal advisers for the company, occasionally work.

She's on the phone when you enter. "Yes. Yes of course. Yes. Uh huh..." she's in that mode of trying to yes-yes someone off the line who doesn't want to go. She locks eyes with you and pantomimes blowing out her brains. "Thanks again, George. Yes. I'll see you in Davos. Yes. Goodbye!"

She slams the receiver back on the cradle and gives a disgusted purr that sounds sort of like "eughhh."

"So? How'd it go?"

She makes a face that plainly indicates her loathing and general psychic malaise over the conversation, then fakes a smile, one that she obviously wants you to know is fake. "Swimmingly," she says.

"But really."

"He's going to float us $2 billion in capital interest-free, as long as we pay it back within five years."

You're suspicious. "What's the catch?"

She tightens her jaw. "No catch... small catch. He just wants us to increase the number of impressions for liberal candidates on Facebook by... a substantial amount."

You take a step closer. "What does substantial mean, Rose?"

"35... thousand percent."

"Oh my god. People are going to notice that. 35 thousand percent? That's 350 times!"

"I know. I passed all my math classes in college on my first try, unlike you. I talked him down from the ledge! He wanted 100,000% at first!"

"100,000-- we were supposed to talk about every major decision first, Rose. That's the deal."

"Do you want me to turn down $2 billion when someone offers it so I can think about it with my b-- with my first cousin once removed? But don't thank me or anything, Alabaster! Just doing my part to keep the company alive so your defective brain doesn't shut down! I don't know why I bother!"

You get close and stand over her. "You need to consult me before making decisions like this. I do the same for you. Don't step out of line."

"What are you gonna do? Hit me?"

You peer down your nose at her. A tense moment passes. "No. You'd like that too much."

She lets out a frustrated sigh.
>>
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>>3207959
>no, you'd like that too much
>>
>>3207959
Ahhh, corruption at it's finest. I hate how accurate this probably is. Rose still secretly being best girl of course.
>>
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"Whitney wants you to go supervise the other Rose," you tell her. "She sent her to the Japanese place on University -- Meiji's. Wants her to hire some Mexican chef."

"That's just what we need. An undocumented worker scandal."

"How do you know he's undocumented?" You chide. "Tsk tsk. Anyway, it's cultural outreach. You should be happy."

"I'm NOT going anywhere with that disgusting, culturally-appopriating--"

You grab her by the collar and haul her to her feet. "Yes you are. I already decided. See what it's like to have decisions made without your input?"

She spits in your face.

"You're going to regret that," you warn her.

She wrenches herself free. Hands no longer occupied, you wipe her drool off your face and sneer at her.

"Be right back," she chirps, grinning smugly.

With that small fire extinguished, it's time to go fetch Vivian so you can prep Whitney for the coming week. Work, for you, never ends.
>>
>>3207959
Was she just haggling with Soros?
>>
>>3207959
>"What are you gonna do? Hit me?"
>You peer down your nose at her. A tense moment passes. "No. You'd like that too much."
heh
>>
>>3207981
Really wondering why we didn't destroy the campus and kill ourselves in the process.
>>
>>3207783
I don't remember what Wisconsin was a joke about
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>>3207980
Haha, time for the not-secretly best girl.
>>
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>>3207959
>Do you want me to turn down $2 billion when someone offers it so I can think about it with my b-- with my first cousin once removed?

I dunno, people often get valuable input from their buddies.
>>
>>3207980
I swear to god, by the end of this Season Alabaster is going to be David Darkboom: Deep Space Nine edition.
>>
>>3207994
Say Ohaiyou out loud anon.

What state does that sound like?
>>
>>3207994
Ohayou sounds like Ohio. Ohio is a state. Wisconsin is, too, a state.
>>
>>3207994
Ohayou = Ohio

I only bothered explaining on the off-chance you're not American.
>>
>>3207994
Say ohayou
>>
>>3207994
Roce said Ohayou and Whitney thought she said Ohio
>>
>>3207999
Do you mean he's gonna go full Sisko?
>>
>>3208010
Alabaster can live with it.
He CAN live with it.
>>
>>3207759
Hey the foreshadowing is taking place at home! God I've been waiting for the return of FQ
>>
>>3207759
>April 21
>4 21
The ride never ends
>>
>>3208027
It's funny because I think most of us just take it for granted at this point.
>>
>>3207803
>"Literally doesn't matter. That's how rich I am." She reaches into a desk drawer and pulls out a checkbook. "Start him off with $100,000 and see what he says. If he wants more, don't fight him, just tell him he can have it." She fills out the check, rips it free and hands it over.
Whitney says that but from how Alabaster and Rose talk in >>3207959 it seems like they're more desperate for cash than Whitney believes. Are they hiding their financial situation from her?
>>
>>3208014
Computer, erase that entire personal log
>>
>>3208031
421 is the only thing that makes sense to me in this twisted game
>>
>>3208031
It's become such an aspect of our lives that when it's true meaning is eventually revealed, we'll either shrug or melt down.
>>
Vivian's office looks more like a funeral parlor, and Vivian is about pale enough to be the body there for the wake. The gothic knick-knacks and antique furniture started piling up, seemingly on their own, from the time of David Darkbloom's death, and the tide hasn't stemmed at all.

Her black-and-maroon velvet dress, black platform shoes and, most bizarre of all, black lace apron, only accentuate her whole "dead body" chic. She's at the black-trimmed window when you enter.

"Hey," you try.

"Good afternoon," she says, and fails to make eye contact. You've tried, but haven't gotten through to her on the importance of this.

"What are you up to? Got a few minutes?"

"Yes, I have time. I was merely contemplating the Nietzschean concept of the eternal recurrence. I've been reading--"

"That's just great," you say, short on time yourself, and not wanting to let Vivian launch into one of her soliloquys. "Whitney's waiting."

"But of course. We must all abide by her schedule. Lead the way, Alabaster Soliloquy."
>>
>>3208031
It's also funny because even though it's become a completely benign joke for us, it's still extremely relevant and probably totally still unnoticed by the cast X years in the future. It also says we're not dead yet somehow.
>>
>>3208044
Damn, she's totally reverted to S1 Vivian as expected. What a bad feel.
>>
>>3208046
As soon as we start seeing some bullshit like 422 everywhere I'll start samefagging [WAKE UP].
>>
>>3208044
Vivian filling the void with consumer products? How sad.
>>
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>>3208044
>I was merely contemplating the Nietzschean concept of the eternal recurrence.
>>
>>3208051
We do have the (noticed) 221 that is Kay's apartment. So if there is a matrix, we've noticed one glitch so far.
>>
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>>3208044
>not wanting to let Vivian launch into one of her soliloquys

Maybe it'll improve her mood if we launch a soliloquy into Vivian.
>>
>>3208052
>>3208062
We'll be filling her void again soon enough, I'm sure. Can we bring back her smile first, though?
>>
>>3208056
Can any smartfag explain what the fuck that means?
>>
>>3208065
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_return

inb4 >wikipedia, but it'll give you the basics at least
>>
>>3208057
That was the universe telling us that everything is going to shit very soon and we need to buckle up.

>>3208064
I suggest we do another mini-Quiz Bowl. Buzzers and points and everything.
>>
>>3208065
>eternal recurrence
Basically, the universe is stuck in a recurring cycle. Everything that has happened, will happen again.
>>
>>3208065
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXAwolUpz4g
HISTORY REPEATINGGGGGGGGG
>>
>>3208069
>Hey I know I'm responsible for your dad's death but I bet some Jeopardy will turn that frown upside down!
>>
>>3208065
you should really read some philosophy anon, it's fascinating (if pretentious) stuff
>>
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>>3208071
>Everything that has happened, will happen again.
>>
>>3208071
I can't wait for Fuck Quest Season 4 when the Universe gets to that point.
>>
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"I've got one for you," Whitney says. This ought to be entertaining. Whitney subscribes to a number of 'daily trivia' email lists now, and likes to quiz Vivian at random. So far, Vivian hasn't missed a single question.

Vivian waits passively for the prompt.

"Who is buried in Grant's tomb?"

"No one is buried in Grant's tomb. It is a mausoleum. Above ground. Similar to the edifice readied for my father, should we ever recover his corpse."

"Whoa, okay," Whitney says. "Let's not talk about dad's corpse. Anyway, you're close -- but no cigar! Grant's tomb is actually a museum."

"The question never required that I specify--" Vivian begins, then stopping herself, she says: "Excuse me? A museum?"

Whitney swivels her monitor around so Vivian can read. "See?"

Vivian bows just a bit to bring her face level to the screen. "Whitney, that word says mausoleum. Not museum."

Whitney yanks the monitor in the other direction and peers at it, squinting. "Hmm... shit. Okay. You got me." She glances up at you. "This little brat's too good for me."

"Shall we begin?" Vivian says. She sits. "I received late word from Rose Mallory that the funding situation has improved. We may not need to ask the SEC for permission to mass liquidate family financial instruments and put them back into the company. Is that so?"

Whitney shrugs. She wouldn't know.

"Right. And yet we still have yet to devise our pivot. We are bleeding cash, in the words of Mr. Armstrong, like a stuck pig. The investors are not going to be pleased unless we can come to them with a new model that gives them confidence."

"Isn't that what the Solutions Forum is for?" Whitney says. "Geez. I mean, we'll think of something."

Vivian isn't buying it.

"Okay, fine," Whitney tries. "We'll do a lightning round again at the wrap-up meeting."

"I think it's time to use what little capital we have to go out on the market and buy a startup rather than try to conceive our own. We have been at a standstill for almost a year now."

Whitney begs this off. "Just give me some numbers to memorize. We'll talk about the rest later on."

This is where Vivian's real passion lies anyway: numbers. She briefs Whitney on the grim financial situation. Darkbloom Analytics survived its founder, but it isn't a healthy company. Scandal has weighed it down and is about to finally take it out for the count. Bad news for you.
>>
>>3208071
So does that refer to the events of season 1 or season 2?
>>
>>3208097
Oof
>>
>>3208102
It refers the events of the entire universe. 1, 2, 3, the season doesn't matter.

>>3208097
>Darkbloom's corpse hasn't been recovered

That mean's Amber's "corpse" hasn't either. It also means both Catachresis and Diegesis are out in the wild still.
>>
>>3207817
>[ ] Stay with Whitney; important work to be done today.
>>
>>3208108
God I hope to fuck the Chinese still haven't found it.
>>
>>3208097
>Similar to the edifice readied for my father,

Low blow, but I respect it
>>
>>3208112
Worst timeline indeed
>>
>>3208108

Maybe they're actually being kept alive in cold sleep. To be extra safe, the facility should probably also be in a cold location, like somewhere in northern Alaska.
>>
>>3208102
The entire universe, son.
>>
>>3208097
How the fuck did they lose 2 corpses in the middle of a Senate meeting? Did nobody see what happened to them?
>>
>>3208133
They weren't in the Senate.
>>
>>3208127
A player in my party owns this exact die. We all get a laugh when he rolls a 'natural FUCK'.
>>
>>3208133
They weren't on the Senate floor.
>>
>>3208133
It was a robot at the senate meeting. The real Darkbloom was kidnapped and taken to an unknown location the day before.
>>
>>3208136
They weren't?
>>
>>3208144

I'm pretty sure it was the real Darkbloom, but he got nabbed from the ambulance that came to pick him up after he froze.
>>
>>3208144
It wasn't a robot, Darkbloom froze when the servers were taken down. He was being carried away in an ambulance when the ambulance was hijacked and from there he was taken to an unknown location where the execution video was shot.
>>
>>3208149
>>3208151
yeah nvm you guys are probably right
I just remember a lot of robot comments after it happened.
>>
>>3208147
They were in some secluded spot that Camilla had for that.
>>
>>3208144
>>3208147
>Real Darkbloom was connected to the servers by Diegesis.
>Servers get cut by Sable to update Penelope.
>Darkbloom freezes in the middle of taking a sip of water
>An ambulance is called to take Darkbloom away
>SOMEHOW Amber gets Darkbloom's body by taking the ambulance or some other means
>sets up the stream in an unknown warehouse that still hasn't been located
>kills David
>dies (x) doubt
There you go . Two corpses that are still missing.
>>
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"Hey, wait up--" Whitney says when Vivian stands to go after a marathon briefing that left even you struggling to keep focused.

"Is there anything else?" Vivian says. "Go ahead. I would be happy to elucidate any points you struggle to grasp."

"It's Friday, you know? Are you doing anything tonight?"

Vivian says nothing. That means no.

"I thought we could, you know... have some sisterly bonding. I got these tickets for a helicopter tour over the Grand Canyon..."

Whitney is relentless with offers like these, and Vivian usually turns them down. The attempt to get to know Vivian like a sister has been excruciatingly slow going.

Surprisingly, however, this time she says yes. "I have never been... it would be an interesting experience. When do we depart?"

"If we want to be there at sunset, we gotta skedaddle, like, right after the wrap-up. The pilot's gonna come here and land on the roof! Wild, huh?" Whitney is so happy she can hardly contain herself. She's grinning widely enough that you're worried the edges of her mouth are going to bleed.

"Quite wild indeed," Vivian agrees, as if she doesn't really agree at all. She adds: "I look forward to it."

This, at least, seems genuine.

You're happy for Whitney's sake, but you also know that Vivian has a tendency to go sullen and aloof in her presence -- more than usual -- which leaves Whitney depressed in turn. You mediate the tension between them whenever you can, especially on extracurricular activities like these. It keeps both girls' spirits up.

[ ] Offer to go along.
[ ] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.
>>
>>3208162
>[x] Offer to go along.

It's probably a terrible choice, but if the chance to see this scene even exists, I need it.
>>
>>3208162
>[X] Offer to go along.
>>
>>3208162
>[x] Offer to go along.
>>
>>3208162
>[x] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.
I'd like to not ruin the bonding trip by our mere presence also holding the fact that her dad is dead over her head the entire time.
>>
>>3208162
[ X] Offer to go along.
>>
>>3208162
>[x] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.
If Whitney wanted us to come she would just ask. That's the kinda girl she is
>>
>>3208162
>[X] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.
>>
>>3208162
>Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.
>>
>>3208162
>[ ] Offer to go along.
We can mediate over all the dead dad references.

>>3208173
To be fair, he also killed our parents. And Vivian clams up around Whitney.
>>
>>3208162
[X] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.
It's not sisterly bonding if we're sticking our nose in the middle of it. Besides, when has Alabaster ever introduced *more* tact into a situation?
>>
>>3208162
>[x] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.
They'll be fine
>>
>>3208162
>[X] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.
>>
>>3208162
>[ ] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.

Not just because I don't want this to be whitneyquest again, but because it's genuinely poor taste.
>>
>>3208182
>To be fair, he also killed our parents. And Vivian clams up around Whitney.
We've had years to come to accept it and never knew Darkbloom did it until a year ago. Vivian has to work with the everyone who helped orchestrate her dad's murder every single day.
>>
>[x] Don't be a third wheel; let them go alone and keep your Friday night open.

Wins by a hair. Closing and writing.
>>
>>3208162
>[x] Offer to go along.

Surely we can assist with this process.
>>
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>>3208196
>>3208192
>>
>>3208190
>Vivian has to work with the everyone who helped orchestrate her dad's murder every single day
This causes me to feel guilt and discomfort
>>
>>3208201
Well I was gonna vote [x] Don't, but saw he already closed it, so I deleted it.
>>
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>>3208192
>>3208196
>>
"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! She said yes!" Whitney begins literally bouncing up and down the moment Vivian vacates the office. Her leather chair squeals beneath her.

She finally stops, and puts a hand to her chest as if to get her heart under control. "Are you gonna come too?" She asks.

"I think this is just for you two," you say. "Have fun, Whitney."

She makes that wheezy, laugh-grin "heeeh" thing she does when she's so excited that her brain goes empty.

An intercom on her desk buzzes. It startles her, and that lovely smile -- uh, that smile drops off her face. She clicks the talk button. "What?" She says. Smooth as ever.

"Front security. There's a man here who says he has an appointment?"

Whitney gives you an uncertain look. "I have no appointments," she says.

"All right, I'll-- ah--" there's a pause, and you can hear an indistinct voice on the other end talking to the guard. The guard reports: "He says he's your father."

Whitney's expression darkens.
>>
>>3208190
We should have sided with Darkbloom
>>
I would like to state that the site took and killed itself and fucked it anyway for missing the vote.
>>
>>3208219
no
>>
>>3208219
I was wondering if this was gonna come up.
>>
>>3208219
>>
>>3208219
>let him into the office just so we can throw him out the window
>>
>>3208209

That makes me feel better.

>>3208219

uhoh
>>
>>3208219
Oh
That piece of shit.
This should be hilarious.
>>
>>3208219
Ohhhh man
>>
>>3208227
>>3208229
>>3208230

Chill it's just Alcoholic dad asking for money.
>>
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>She makes that wheezy, laugh-grin "heeeh" thing she does when she's so excited that her brain goes empty.
CUTE!
>"He says he's your father."
WHAT!
>>
>>3208239
That's exactly the kind of thing that warrants anon's reaction.
>>
So we're in agreement that if he starts guilt tripping Whitney for free shit or does anything that makes her sad we'll kill him, right?
>>
>>3208245
>kill him
Worse. He can work in the same cubicle as Stackleford.
>>
>>3208245
death is too kind a fate
>>
>>3208219
>>3208231
The higher up, the better.
>>
>>3208247
That's way to cruel anon

I like it
>>
Hey guys did I make it in time for the start of sea. . . .

Oh.
>>
It's been over five years since the last time you saw Mr. Price, and he's as pathetic as ever. Worse, even. He wears a threadbare, horizontally-striped turtleneck and rumpled khakis in his best impression of something even remotely presentable. He stinks like stale Bud Light and his five o'clock shadow is patchy, his face deeply lined with wrinkles.

"It's just, so great to see you so successful like this," he offers, wringing a rolled up magazine in his hands. "I saw you in the news the other day and--"

"You didn't know?" You cut in.

"Well, ah-- you know, I been traveling, you know, for work--"

Whitney chuckles, low and reproachful. "Liar."

He coughs. "I mean, wow. My little girl. A CEO! I never would have thought..."

He rambles, but Whitney isn't biting. She says nothing to him, and regards him like a person might regard an insect. Finally she cuts to the chase: "Why did you drive out here?"

"Huh? Oh, I mean-- no reason-- I just wanted to see my little girl. Right? It's been so long."

"The last time you said word one to me was when you told me that I might as well not bother leaving for Berkley because I was gonna fail out anyway. Then you fell asleep again."

He hangs his head.

"He's here for a favor," you say. "Obviously." Your opinion of him is even lower than Whitney's, if it's possible.

Whitney arches an eyebrow. "You want money? Is that it?"

"Whitney, I'm-- not doing so great, is the thing. That's all. And Mr. Darkbloom, he promised me and your mom a little money-- for when you're done with school, if we could keep the secret, you know, about not being your real parents and all... and, uh, you know, fair's fair..." He tries again with flattery: "Gee, wouldn't she be so proud, if she could see you now--"

"Shut the fuck up."

"Hey! That's no way to talk to me. I might not have been the best, but I tried! And I'm still your father--"

She takes out that checkbook again and fills one out for him. "I don't know what that dickhole offered you, but this is what you get from me. $1 million. Have fun with it, Carl."

She hands him the check. His eyes just about fall out of his skull. "Oh man, Whitney-- you're-- this is just great... really help me get back on my feet... and I'll call more, I promise!"

"Never talk to me again."

He winces, but he doesn't even try to argue the point. "Thanks again," he says, and goes, no longer needing to mask the reason for the visit.

The reek he leaves in his wake will take a while to dissipate. Whitney sprays some cinnamon-scented air freshener to no avail.

"He'll be dead inside a week, if I had to guess," you say.

"Whatever." Her mood is much darker now.
>>
>>3208291
She's way too good for him. At least we'll probably never see him again.

Although if we do, we can tie him to Stackleford and throw them both out of the C-Suite window. Stackle's cushioning might even let them survive the fall!
>>
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>>3208291
>>
>>3208291
Yuck
>>
>>3208291
Fucking wrecked
>>
>>3208291
God, I wish that were me.
>>
>>3208291
I mean at least Whitney has her real mom now?
>>
>>3208291
At least he hasn't sold some bullshit story to the tabloids. Enquiring minds would eat that shit up.

>>3208322
They're so different from each other, though. If anyone needs a Family Vacation, it's Whitney and Renee.
>>
As if things could get any worse: in comes Chalmers.

"Well hey hey, campers!" he says. "Are you ready for some roleplay?"

Whitney looks at the clock on the wall. "Ugh. It's time already?"

"Let's turn that frown upside-down," he says, sitting down. "We'll do some mindfulness exercises first."

"Ally," Whitney says, looking past Chalmers. "Punch Rose for me."

"Whoa!" Chalmers says. "No more of that!"

But you like the sound of it. This would be Nathan P. Chalmers, the expert in corporate sensitivity training who Rose decided to bring in special just for Whitney. You loathe the man, but he serves his purpose: a news story broke a few months ago about Whitney using the N word in high school, and Rose decided that going through the motions of sensitivity training -- with a licensed professional, this time -- would patch up the bad PR.

Whitney maintains innocence. "I never said it," she insisted at the time. "That was Stackleford! I was just quoting Stackleford's words back at him! To tell him not to say it! I'm actually a hero, if you think about it!"

Unfortunately, that argument didn't hold water with a general public already set against her by default.

Unwilling to put up with this man's presence yourself, however, you decide to leave Whitney to it.

[ ] Go visit with Alex.
[ ] Go visit with Kay.
[ ] Go visit with Rose2.
[ ] Go visit with Rose.
>>
>>3208330
>[x] Go visit with Alex.
Not even a question OP. I need to see how our little trap is holding up
>>
>>3208330
>[ ] Go visit with Rose.

BEST. GIRL.
>>
>>3208330
>[x] Go visit with Alex.
>>
>>3208330
Thanks, Supernintendo Chalmers.

>[x] Go visit with Kay.

I would usually vote for Alex here, but CHASING AFTER HIM SO FAR HAS BEEN A PRETTY BAD IDEA, ISN'T THAT RIGHT GUYS?
>>
>>3208330
>[X] Go visit with Alex.
Smile status update.
>>
>>3208330
Hey Whitney? Know what Lovecraft named his cat?
>[x] Go visit with Kay.
>>
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>>3208330
>[X ] Go visit with Alex.
B E S T B O Y
>>
>>3208334
it's been a year my guy, if he hasn't had time to cool down now we're fucked
>>
>>3208330
>[x] Go visit with Kay.
>>
>>3208330
>>[x] Go visit with Alex.
Best.
Alex Best.
>>
>>3208330
>[x] Go visit with Alex.

We have some broken holes to fill
>>
>>3208337
Please stop posting this forever.
>>
>>3208330
[ X] Go visit with Kay.
>>
>>3208330
>[ ] Go visit with Alex.

The Roses are already keeping each other company. We did push too hard on Alex in S2 but it's post timeskip now, so a quick check can't hurt too bad.
>>
>>3208338
It's been pretty well established that he's gotten worse.

>>3208343
I disagree.
>>
>>3208330
>[ ] Go visit with Alex.
>>
>>3208330
>[x] Go visit with Rose.
>>
>>3208330
>[ ] Go visit with Alex.
>>
>>3208330
>[x] Go visit with Kay.
>>
>>3208330
>[x] Go visit with Alex.
>>
>[x] Go visit with Alex.

Time to see what that boy Best is doing. Closing and writing.
>>
>>3208334
The situation is completely different though

>>3208337
This shit again...
>>
>>3208330

[X] Go visit with Alex.
>>
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So what have you guys been up to during the hiatus?
>>
>>3208379
edging. it's been a blue 6 months.
>>
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>>3208383
W-we were only gone for four, Anonymous-dono! Surely you've done SOMETHING else in that time!
>>
>>3208379
I made a sound board and called it Makoto. And then OP gave us a character called Makoto. And now I'm being overloaded by Makotos.
>>
>>3208330
[ ] Go visit with Kay.
>>
>>3208379
Waiting warmly
>>
>>3208379
I got laid off and have been being a NEET
>>
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>>3208395
NEETdom is okay in... small quantities. Oh god somebody please give me a job.
>>
>>3208400
Are you cute? Someone out there should be willing to shell out for pics.
>>
>>3208395
So did I!

>>3208400
I mean I want a job but I know when if I get one, I'm just going to go back to thinking about suicide literally every single minute.
>>
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>>3208405
I wish I was cute.
>>
>>3208379
Mostly school. I just changed my major this December, so I had to spend the last semester trying ludicrously hard to give a good impression. Really I was only in the wrong major bureaucratic mixup, though.

>>3208390
>>3208395
>>3208408
Also, playing way too much Splatoon. Cute squids!
>>
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>[x] Go visit with Alex.

Alex is sequestered, but not very privately, in a glass-walled conference room on the floor just below, deep in discussions with Steven Armstrong, the HR chief, and Tyrus Kang, the security chief who makes you feel anything but secure. Still, you don't have any compunctions about walking in on the meeting; the last time Armstrong complained that you "go around like you own the place," Whitney rebuffed him with: "he definitely owns more of it than you."

Nowadays, Armstrong hardly balks at your presence. He glances you way as you enter, then returns to what he was saying: "money's tight, kid. You need fifty more people? How about 25? Can you make it work?"

"We'd have to vet the shit out of them," Tyrus adds. "If they're all gonna be working on Diogenes. Can't just let anyone off the fuckin' street come get their noses in business like that. Can't get 50 new hires ready to go on that project in a week. Goddamn."

"I'm sorry," Alex says, beaming, cocking his head to one side. "But I really need 50 people! And I need them pretty soon! Try to make it work!"

"You kill me, son. Do you realize this company is on its last legs?"

"Oh yes," Alex says, quite serious. "I understand perfectly well. I understand what Whitney will say if she finds out you told me no, too."

"Whitney can go fuck herself. Mara and Vivian will overrule here. Money's tight, and that's that. You need to agree to 25 -- max."

"I understand," Alex says. "I'll speak with Whitney."

Armstrong reaches out and grabs his shoulder. "Now, come on. Let's come to an understanding, okay? Can you make do with... 30?"

All the smile is gone from Alex's face. His voice is low and firm. "I need 50 people, Armstrong." He turns to Tyrus: "and I need them working on the project by 6 AM Monday after next. That's what I need to do my job. Now go do yours."

Armstrong regards him for any signs of bluffing, a crack in his resolve, anything -- but nothing.

"I'll see what I can do," he says, ego too big to outright admit defeat.

There's the same wounded ego in Tyrus's eyes too, but another layer to the way he looks at Alex that you don't like at all.

"Can I get a minute in private?" You ask Alex.

His smile is back like it was never gone. "Of course, Ally! What can I do for you?" He glances back at his fellow executives, two men who are both twice his size. "You're free to go!" He tells them.

You watch them gather their things and leave. As God is your witness, Alex just bossed them around.
>>
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>>3208413
Thanks, they were fun to make~.
>>
>>3208414
>If they're all gonna be working on Diogenes
I want it all to end.
>>
>>3208414
Holy shit, Alex.

>Diogenes
And here we go.
>>
>>3208414
Holy shit Alex
>>
>>3208414
>Diogenes

>Individuals suffering from Diogenes syndrome generally display signs of collectionism, hoarding, or compulsive disorder. Individuals who have suffered damage to the brain, particularly the frontal lobe, may be at more risk to developing the syndrome. The frontal lobes are of particular interest, because they are known to be involved in higher order cognitive processes, such as reasoning, decision-making and conflict monitoring. Diogenes Syndrome tends to occur among the elderly. The behavioural patterns that is usually reflected by those living with this disorder are suffering from significant functional problem that is correlated with morbidity and mortality.
>>
>>3208112
if the Chinese have found it nuclear war is the only thing that will save us


.>>3208162
>[ ] Offer to go along
>>
>>3208414
god damn.
>>
>>3208414
Our baby's a scrapper :')
>>
>>3208414
oh boy
>>
>>3208430
Diogenes was also a famous philosopher, whose encounter with Alexander the Great in Corinth was... hilarious, to say the least.
>>
>>3208414

Punished Alex is spooky.
>>
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Keep forgetting to post my squids.
>>
>>3208438
There has been no greater living figure in all of collective history that could ever give less of a fuck than Diogenes.

He is the God of NEETs
>>
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>>3208457
True facts.
>>
>>3208450
Literally just Inkling Girl.
>>
>>3208414
>punished Alex
OP, you're breaking my heart over here...
>>
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>>3208464
That's not true! The hairstyles are totally different! And the eye color! And the headphones!
>>
>>3208438
>you will never be chad enough to tell Alexander the Great that he is blocking your sun and to fuck off
>>
>>3208466
Fucking cursed.
>>
>>3208414
Also, wasn't Diogenes that one insane homeless dude that skinned a pigeon alive to prove what it means to be human or something?
>>
Oh boy, the most exciting time of the week is back!
>>
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>>3208468
~
>>3208471
Plato had defined mankind as 'featherless bipeds', so Diogenes shaved a chicken and threw it into one of his classes, shouting "BEHOLD, A MAN!"
>>
>>3208479
See one thing about birds is that you can't fucking shave them.
>>
>>3208487
Correct.

He plucked out all its feathers.
>>
>>3208487
He plucked it. Same difference.
>>
>>3208487
>>
"Doing anything tonight?" You ask him, leaning your tailbone against the long mahogany conference table.

"Working hard!" He says, laughing.

"Like last night, and the night before--"

"Gotta keep the midnight oil burning! I'm a night owl at heart, you know."

"Yeah, and you're going to burn yourself right out," you warn him. "Look, it's Friday, and I've got nothing going on, so I thought we might--"

"I'm so sorry! But I just can't!"

You frown. "It's polite to at least listen to what someone's about to invite you to before you turn down the offer."

A couple of Alex's direct reports walk past. Seeing Alex sitting inside the conference room, they bow their heads and scurry by as fast as they can, hoping he won't see them.

"I appreciate it, Ally, I do..." (this sounds sincere to you) "...but reimplementing Nelson's blockchain concept is taking me forever and I really need to make sure the project is ready for the next phase before all these new hires come in."

You ruffle your own hair in frustration. "This kind of stuff is hard for me. I hate being social almost as much as you do, apparently. But I just don't want to see you end up..."

End up like Sable, is what you're about to say, but think better of it.

"I'll tell you what, Ally. If you don't mind hanging out in the R&D dungeon like old times, I could really use a mind like yours to bounce ideas off of. Most of my employees are so useless--" (There it is, the ghost of Sable rearing its head in Alex again) "--I need someone with two brain cells to rub together! Of course, I know you want to do fun things on a Friday night too... so if you can accept a raincheck, I'll go out with you next Friday for sure!"

"Go out with me--" you sputter. Merely some unfortunate phrasing on Alex's part, you decide. "I'm just suggesting... okay. I'm dragging you out of that dungeon before next Friday, though. That's already decided. But..."

[ ] Hang out with Alex tonight and help him with his work.
[ ] Keep your night open for something else. He's just placating you anyway.
>>
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>>3208487
Semantics.
>>
>>3208502
>[ ] Keep your night open for something else. He's just placating you anyway.
>>
>>3208379
Enjoying the thought-provoking juxtaposition of discussing the Greatest Cynic's lifestyle while farming sunlight medals in DS3 wearing a Symbol of Avarice and crushing coins in the palm of my hand.
>>
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>>3208502
[X] Keep your night open for something else. He's just placating you anyway.
>>
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>>3208502
>[x] Keep your night open for something else. He's just placating you anyway.

This stings a bit.
>>
>>3208502
>[ ] Hang out with Alex tonight and help him with his work.
We can find his smile again.
>>
>>3208502
[X] Hang out with Alex tonight and help him with his work.
>>
>>3208502
Wow, it's like someone who was raised by an abusive mother.
>>
>>3208502
>[X] Keep your night open for something else. He's just placating you anyway.

I'm kinda worried for him though.
>>
>>3208502
>[X ] Keep your night open for something else. He's just placating you anyway.
>>
>>3208502
>>3208522
oh yeah
>[x] Keep your night open for something else. He's just placating you anyway.
>>
>>3208502
>[x] Keep your night open for something else. He's just placating you anyway.
Like a rubber band, pull too much and it'll snap.
>>
>>3208502
>[ ] Keep your night open for something else. He's just placating you anyway.
>>
>>3208502
>Write in
>[x]Maybe but no promises
Keep our schedule open and we can still do it if nothing else comes up
>>
>>3208502
>[X] Hang out with Alex tonight
>>
>>3208502
>[x] Hang out with Alex tonight and help him with his work.
>>
>>3208502
>[x] Keep your night open for something else. He's just placating you anyway.

He may just be placating, but he *is* one of the few people *actually* getting shit done company wise. Let's give him a bit of space and show some confidence in his ability. If anything, that's going to make him much happier than distractions.
>>
>>3208502

>[x] Hang out with Alex tonight and help him with his work.
>>
>>3208502
>[ ] Hang out with Alex tonight and help him with his work.
>>
>>3208502

>[ ] Keep your night open for something else. He's just placating you anyway.

On an unrelated note we should look into the going rates for an exorcism.
>>
>>3208502
>[ ] Hang out with Alex tonight and help him with his work
>>
>>3208502
>[x] Hang out with Alex tonight and help him with his work.
It can't hurt
>>
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>[x] Keep your night open for something else. He's just placating you anyway.

"I'll see you around," you say. "You know I'm as useless as anyone when it comes to programming. I wouldn't be any help to you at all."

Alex laughs, but doesn't dispute you.

You turn to go.

"Ally--"

You stop and glance back at him.

"We'll have fun next week," he says. "I'm looking forward to it."

There's a softness in his voice there that, for the first time in a long time, reminds you of the Alex you met a year ago.
>>
>>3208549
You severely underestimate his fragility...
>>
>>3208552
fug. I miss him bros ;_;
>>
Alex is in dire need of a hug. Not a fug, a hug.
>>
>>3208552
>[X] Hug him before we go
>>
>>3208552
>[X] Hug him before we go
>>
>>3208552
Absolute destruction of the emotion.
>>
>>3208552
[X] Hug him before we go
>>
>>3208552
>[X] Hug him before we go
>>
>>3208552
>[X] Hug him before we go
>>
>>3208552
>[x]Hug him before we go
>>
>>3208552
>[X] Hug him before we go
>>
>>3208552
>>[X] Hug him before we go
>>
>>3208552
>[x]Hug him before we go
We're actually doing this? Fuck it, I'm game
>>
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>[x]Hug him before we go

I can't just walk away, not from my precious boy.
>>
>>3208553
Why is spending time with him bad?
>>
>>3208576
Its little things like this that make me genuinely feel like the emotionless dregs of 4chan actually can grow and developed into functional humans.

>>3208588
You don't force trauma victims to do anything without extremely well defined parameters, lest you trigger a relapse.
>>
>>3208552
>[X] Hug him before we go
>>
>[x]Hug him before we go

Alex tenses up like a frightened animal in your embrace. But his small frame is warm against you.

"Wh-- what was that for?" He demands. This is unusual behavior from you and it seems to unsettle him more than anything.

"Blame Chalmers. I'm trying to be more mindful."

He regards you suspiciously. "Of what?"

You shrug, and then change the subject. "Are you going to actually get any sleep tonight?"

"I'll try, Ally."

"Don't fucking try. Go to bed before dawn for once. And don't sleep on campus either. I'll be back to check on you."

Alex shakes his head, but there's a smile on the corners of his lips that he can't seem to bid away. "See you," he says.
>>
I'm just imagining the look on OP's face when he sees all these fucking write-ins for a post that doesn't even have a vote. Leave it to the trap to bring about autism fueled unity
>>
>>3208596
I can't believe I'm homosexual.
>>
>>3208596
You guys are so gay. ;w;
>>
>>3208597
I kinda saw it playing out as OP did, what with it being wildly OOC for Alphabastor, but it was just too damn nice to argue against.
>>
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>>3208596
My heart
>>
>>3208596
Based
>>3208597
Through dick, unity
>>
>>3208596
Ahhhhhhhhh. My fucking heart

Good job brothers
>>
>>3208596
Threadly reminder that we're all very, very gay
>>
>>3208601
>>3208606
I figured that out when I started fixating on gangbangs.
>>
>>3208606
Let the holy light of the All-Mighty Emperor fill this young Man with His Glorious Fraternal Love!

For the Emperor!
>>
>>3208614
Whoops, that was meant for >>3208605
>>
>>3208596
:')
>>3208602
Yeah in no universe did I think this was gonna be a normal thing for Alabaster to do, but I'm just glad Alex took it how it was meant and not like "what the fuck happened to Ally?" We do care a lot, we're just... really, really bad at showing it sometimes
>>
>>3208606
I remember quite a few anon's claiming they weren't before S2.
How quickly the tide turns.
>>
>>3208618
>sometimes
Half of the shit that happened in last season happened because we suck at showing how we genuinely feel.
>>
>>3208596
Awwwww
>>
At the wrap-up meeting, Whitney is true to her word: she ends the session with a lightning round. This was her last-ditch attempt to lubricate the wheels of innovation from within Darkbloom Analytics rather than take the risk on buying another company. DA needs a new revenue stream, needs to pivot to some new service that will generate cash, fast. Problem is, no one has any ideas. So she started having executives put anything they could come up with on strips of paper, and into a fishbowl, anonymously, no harm no foul, to pitch them at random to the board.

She pulls a strip of paper from the fishbowl now and reads it: "Digimon Go."

"What, like a knockoff Pokemon?" Armstrong says, with a long "E" sound.

"Digimon was first, actually," Nelson Berenstoin, the CIO, says -- he's the kind of guy who cares about that.

Whitney tries again. "Lesbian Grindr. Scissr. Working title."

"Was that your idea?" Mara muses.

Whitney locks eyes with her. "I don't remember asking Queen Cuck for a goddamn thing."

Mara doesn't flinch at the insult. "How many other women did your boyfriend fuck today?"

"Less than me, maybe," she says, grinning.

"Fewer..." Nelson corrects, but no one pays him any mind.

"Facebook for old people," Whitney tries.

"Facebook IS for old people," Tyrus says.

"This is useless," Armstrong says. "We're not agile, Whitney, face it. It's time to go with Vivian's plan and just cast a net over the startups in the valley that have some actual fucking ideas other than 'popular service, but with a twist.'"

"No," Whitney says. She bangs a palm on the table. "We need some profit NOW. We can't keep borrowing money from old Jews. Old Jews have a bad habit of dying."

Nathan P. Chalmers, who's been sitting in on Whitney's meetings as an observer, starts to say something, but Whitney interjects: "Because they're old! It's not the Jewish thing! Old black people die, too!"

Nathan's eyes bulge but he fails to say anything.
>>
>>3208632
All the time is a subset of sometimes
>>
>>3208600
>>3208601
>>3208606
>>3208602
>>3208618
N-no guys. It's only because of Chalmers mind control voodoo. Ally still isn't gay. I promise
>>
>>3208638
What a magnificent CEO
>>
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"The internet but for pizza," Whitney says, taking another strip from the fishbowl and ignoring him. "...I don't know what that means." She discards that one takes out yet another slip: "Uh, this one just says cocaine. Not sure what that means either..."

Armstrong stands up, strides across the room, takes the fishbowl, and tosses it against the wall. It shatters into a hundred pieces. Paper flutters in the air like confetti.

"You're fired," Whitney says.

"You can't fire me. It's literally not legal."

"Big words for a guy who's fired."

"You can't--"

In the corner, Kay Vera is furiously scribbling. Armstrong notices her, and gets a look on his face like he's seen a bear who somehow sneaked in. "Who the fuck invited you? Jesus Christ."

"I will begin putting out the feelers, as it were," Vivian says. "Maybe we will find a startup that Whitney will assent to. You need not commit to anything else, Whitney, other than consideration, for the time being..."

"Coming here was the worst decision I ever made," Armstrong whines, mostly to himself. "I should have never left politics."

"I can't hear you over the sound of how fired you are," Whitney says. That does it. He storms out. But this is the 50th time or so that tensions have flared like this; Armstrong will be back at work on Monday like it never happened.

"Thanks, sis," Whitney says, moving on. "You go looking for buyout. We'll keep trying to think of our own ideas too."
>>
>>3208638
>This entire post
God I love this girl.
>>
>>3208638
I wanna work here.
>>
>>3208638
>"I don't remember asking Queen Cuck for a goddamn thing."
How can one girl be so based?
>>
Whitney is the best worst CEO
>>
>>3208638
Tomboy CEO best CEO.
>>
>>3208638
>"Digimon was first, actually,"
>"I don't remember asking Queen Cuck for a goddamn thing."
>"Facebook for old people," Whitney tries.
>"Facebook IS for old people," Tyrus says.
I love these people
I love this company
>>
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>>3208596
The faggotry is unreal. But its a nice touch..
>>3208638
>Whitney locks eyes with her. "I don't remember asking Queen Cuck for a goddamn thing."

I love you Whitney. I love you so fucking much.
>>
>>3208638
Is Nelson Stannis Baratheon?
>>
>>3208671
If Whitney was a renaissance painting, her name would be "Diogenes, of the Female Forme"
>>
>>3208677
You. Stop that. OP doesn't need anymore ideas

Not after what happened with Cerise...
>>
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>>3208650

Best CEO
>>
>>3208703
Anon, you are a blessing
>>
>>3208379
Discovered Fuck Quest, read through both seasons, found out there was a third incoming
>>
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>>3208687
I see nothing wrong with what I implied.
>>
>>3208712
Welcome aboard!
>>
Another week over, another disastrous weekly wrap-up meetings in the history books.

You see Whitney and Vivian off for their Grand Canyon excursion. On the rooftop, leaning through the open door of the helicopter, Whitney shouts over the whir of the rotors: "hey, check on that Juan thing for me!"

"What one thing?" You ask.

"The Juan thing! The Mexican chef! Make sure Rosie didn't fuck up like usual! Text me what you find out!" She pecks you on the lips. "Love ya, Ally!"

You're really not good at that kind of thing, so you nod in response.

Vivian kicks her feet and stares out the window in the seat opposite her sister. The earmuffs on her head look comically oversized for her. She watches the two of you with detached interest, and when it's over, she waves goodbye to you. You're still not sure what's going on inside her mind.

---

It's time to see Cerise.

In the main lobby on your way out, you bump into Rose2 on her way back in.

Original Formula Rose, who was supposed to keep an eye on her, is nowhere to be found. But no matter. Rose2 has a short, hirsute man in chef's whites following close behind. She must have succeeded at her task.

"This is Pablo!" Rose2 says.

"I thought his name was..." you begin, but you're not sure, actually. It was some sort of J name.

"Well it's Pablo," Rose2 insists. "And he's super psyched to have some tanoshii as the newest employee at Darkbloom Analytics!"

"Ah..." Pablo begins. "I have not, what you could call, gotten citizenship. So... for the tax forms... ah..."

You stare at the ceiling and mutter curses. Of course. You look down again at Rose2. "I thought you said he was the owner."

"I am," Pablo affirms.

You huff. "Good lord. So you want to get paid under the table, then?"

Pablo nods.

"Whatever. Just... I've got a friend who might be able to make you look legit. There's a lot of FBI agents here, so..."

Pablo blanches.

"Hey Alabaster!" Rose2 says, ignoring the tension there. "I'm supposed to go home for the weekend but my car's broke down..." She purses her lips into a pout traces a forefinger down her cheek as if showing the path of a teardrop. "Could you help a kouhai out and give me a lift?" She grabs your arm. "I'll make it worth your while..."

"I've got somewhere to be," you tell her, backing off.

"That's fine," Rose2 says. "I'm gonna show Pablo the kitchen and then I've got emails and stuff... snore, am I right? But if you've got some time after 5 PM, you know, when you're done with whatever... like I said, I'll make it up to you!"

[ ] I'll give you a ride.
[ ] Sorry, no.
>>
>>3208703
Holy shit anon, is this OC?
>>
>>3208379
Been playing fightan. I'm still not good, but everyone I play with says I've been getting better.
Anyone for Melty?
>>
I'm late to the party. Welcome back OP

>Season 3 OP (A): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ncjy-f_wafs
>There's no undo
And there's no repeat
Can't go back to
How we used to be

Oh... Oh boy
>>
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One day. One day she'll show us her collection of t-shirts.
>>
>>3208720
>[ ] I'll give you a ride
YES YES YES
>>
>>3208720
>It's time to see Cerise.
oof

>>3208720
>[x] I'll give you a ride.
oof
>>
>>3208720
I get the feeling she's gonna jerk us off in the car if we give her a lift.
>[X] I'll give you a ride
>>
>>3208720
>[x] Sorry, no.
sorrymasen
>>
>>3208720
>[ ] I'll give you a ride.

Maybe she wants to give us some cool Inuyasha DVDs.
>>
>>3208720
>[x] I'll give you a ride.
>Get the spray bottle in case she gets too handsy.
>>
>>3208720
>He's actually illegal
Of fucking course.

>[x] I'll give you a ride.

Is it time to bone the weeb? Or is this an elaborate trap?
>>
>>3208720
>[ ] I'll give you a ride.
>>
>>3208720
[X] I'll give you a ride
It was inevitable
>>
>>3208736
>Is it time to bone the weeb? Or is this an elaborate trap?
fuck god i fucking hope
>>
>>3208724
Is that decu's work?
>>
>>3208720
>[x] I'll give you a ride.
When it comes to things like this, we can't help but be honest with ourselves
>>
>[x] I'll give you a ride.

Closing and writing.
>>
> I'll give you a ride.
>>
>>3208721

Yup, it was posted in a reply to one of OP's twitter posts last month.
>>
>>3208742
Best money I ever spent.
>>
>>3208736
>is this an elaborate trap
I'm gonna have a bad time if there's an elephant down those pants.
>>
>>3208720
>Could you help a kouhai out
Ok, this actually made me laugh. Well played OP
>>
>>3208746
What a legend
>>
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>[x] I'll give you a ride.

Rose2 squeals, takes your hands, and tries to twirl around with you. But you're not having any of that shit. You refuse to budge.

This rolls off of her like water and she laughs: "See you soon, Alabaster! Byeee~~"

As she walks off with the new chef, you watch her go. The way her plaid skirt ruffles with every step she takes almost hypnotizes you. There's one thing her weeabooism has actually given her the benefit of: the length of the skirt from above, and the length of her stockings from below, give her the Platonic ideal of an absolute zone. And her fleshy thighs are way easier on the eyes than you'd ever want to admit aloud.

You don't notice Noelle coming up alongside you. "If you fuck her, I'm arresting you."

You shake your head, snapping back from the reverie. "For what?"

"Crimes against humanity."

You turn to face her. "I'm ready to go."

"Right." She motions for you to lead the way back to her car. She will personally chaperone you to see Cerise.
>>
So Rose 2: Electric Boogaloo is going to go full yandere, right?
>>
>>3208760
FUCK HAHA
>>
>>3208760
I want to be arrested by Noelle Keki!
>>
>>3208760
Noelle's a good girl.
>>
>18/30 SunBro Medals. Feelsgoodman.png
>1.1mil souls
>die to what feels like the thousandth Lothric Knight. Fml
>oh sweet, OP posted
>laugh my ass of until I hear my character die 2 feet away from my bloodstain, cause Symbol of Avarice ate me.

Can't even feel bad. FQ>DS
>>
>>3208760

Foolishly, we have let our natural predator into our midst.
>>
>>3208736
I hope so. Maybe this will be the first time that Whitney isn't the first lewd of the season
>>
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The air in the nondescript black Sedan is sterile and somehow still makes you queasy. This car is too clean, too utilitarian... too FBI.

As usual, the ride passes in awkward silence. But this time, Noelle finally tries to punctuate it:

"Watching anything this season?"

You don't reply.

"I've been watching the new NeeKyu," she offers. "I can't believe they renewed it after all these years... of course, it's just the same old haremshit, so it's like, whatever. But this season sucks... nothing good at all."

"You've got to be kidding me," you finally say. You shoot her a sour look. "Do they give you cue cards to read off of, or what?"

She frowns.

"You almost had me," you say. "Once. A year ago. But give it up, Noelle. I'm not buying it now."

The silence that descends is much heavier than before.

"You like trivia, right?" Noelle says after a seeming eternity. "I've got one you might now know. Did you ever hear that the majority of climbers who die on Everest, die on their way back down?"

"No," you say, truthfully.

"It's true. They keep pushing for the summit despite inclement conditions, and they actually make it... they get to the top... but they run low on supplies doing it, and can't make it back."

"Right. How do I fit into this metaphor? How am I supposed to turn back?"

"The FBI has the world's best witness protection program. I'll make sure you're safe... you, and Cerise, and Whitney..."

"I'll take it into consideration," you say tersely, and this terminates the conversation for the rest of the trip.
>>
>>3208787
heh
>>
>>3208787
It's funny because this applies to both Fuck Quest AND Index (and the current season, holy shit)
>>
>>3208787
Oof. That's harsh, but it's hard to say she doesn't deserve it.
>>
>>3208787
Tell her the story of Captain Scott. Sure, he died on the way back from the South Pole, but in doing so, became more heroic than the man who beat him to the Pole.
>>
During the Q&A for S2, I had asked OP for book and music recommendations. So during the interim, I read We by Yevgeny Zamyatin. I liked it a lot, and can definitely see how Amber has taken a lot of influence from I-330. But uhh, 0-90 best
>>
>>3208787
>"The FBI has the world's best witness protection program. I'll make sure you're safe... you, and Cerise, and Whitney..."

>"I'll take it into consideration," you say tersely, and this terminates the conversation for the rest of the trip.

>FQ ends with us literally NOT being Alabaster Soliloquy
>>
>>3208808
Yeah we'll be Thomas Soliloquy and travel back in time
>>
>>3208787
As much as the Honeypot thing sucked, I can feel that her power level is genuine and respectable.

We need to bring her over to our side, somehow...
>>
>>3208815
I believe that personally she genuinely wants the best for us and has similar interests. But she's the Suzaku to our Lelouch.
>>
>>3208812
>Alabaster becomes his own dad
It's just too fucking plausible
>>
>>3208812
The first post is between 1 and 10 years in the future, anon.
>>
>>3208821
I'm on the darkbloom isn't actually dead timeline.
>>
>>3208812

Now that's a good witness protection program.
>>
>>3208820
Which means, at the end of everything, she will be our greatest ally.

I'm very much okay with this.
>>
>go back in time
>get to fuck mom
>get to be your own father
I'm 100% for it. All aboard the FBI train!
>>
>>3208820
I actually really like this take. I always saw her as having a sort of stalker-with-a-crush thing going on, with the caveat being she fell in love with us as she kept digging up more and more information for the investigation.
>>
>>3208826
I forget, do we actually have Darkbloom's body? And are we sure it's real?
>>
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>>3208815
>>3208820
She definently meant it. Her character card pretty much confirms it
>>
Are we doing this again, guys? Really?
>>
>>3208812
To fuck our own mother again?
>>
Noelle Requiem when?
>>
>>3208837
oh she'll pump ally alright
>>
>>3208835
I mean you can only watch so much footage of a man plowing a fuck ton of bitches before you start to get curious yourself
>>
>>3208848
I honestly think she saw a kindred spirit in his anti-social weeb lifestyle. and maybe his search history too
>>
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>>3208853
>Ally's search history
>>
>>3208853
>Imagine falling in love with someone because of their 4chan shitposting
>>
>>3208859
I thought we all agreed we were quantum gay for OP?
>>
>>3208859
>you will never no the joys of shitposting on /a/ and reading FQ with your sexy FBI girlfriend

Why am I even living right now...
>>
>>3208866
>quantum
Speak for yourself, I've made my decision.
>>
>>3208859
hey anon, I'm sure there's an FBI agent just head over heels for you right now
>>
>>3208868
the dead can't read Fuck Quest
>>
>>3208870
>cue X-Files episode where Scully has to read 4chan threads for hours at a time
>>
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The steady beep of monitors is the only sound in the room. Cerise is where you left her last time, and the time before that, and the time before that... in a hospital gurney, wearing a hospital gown, wired up like only a hospital can wire someone up. Her eyes are open, but no one is home: she stares straight ahead, lips slightly parted, as emotive as a guppy out of water.

You sit down next to her.

"Hey," you say. "Sorry I'm a bit late. You're looking better, though..."

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Now the old ritual. You relate the trials of the past week, and you have to assume she's listening, even if she can give no indication.

"And Mara... Mara's starting to really scare me. She keeps talking about what she'll do when she gets her hands on what's in your head... and I don't know what--" You sigh. "I just wish you'd wake up, Cerise. I mean really wake up. Could you try that, for me, to wake up? Cerise?"

You nudge her shoulder, and it jostles her, but there is no response. "Wake up," you insist, shaking her a bit harder now. Something like a mix of anger and desperation grip at you the more you try. "Cerise. Wake up. Are you listening to me? Goddamn it. Are you gonna wake up already? It's almost your birthday now. Are you gonna be here forever or what? Wake up! Cerise!" You're really shaking her now, the whole bed is swaying back and forth on its wheels. But she isn't responding at all.

"I need you! Is that what you wanted to hear? Then fine -- there it is! I need you, Cerise! So wake up!"

The force of your efforts shakes loose the covers around her, and her gown falls open to reveal the mess of wires adhered to her chest, the IV's in her arms. And all the while she stares catatonically ahead, as good as dead. You catch yourself on the brink, stop, step back, your breathing ragged. She's not ready yet to wake up.
>>
>>3208874
Everyone knows Mulder has been shitposting on /x/ since its inception.

Scully's seen enough of those threads after the usual "Scully ur not gonna believe this"
>>
>>3208878
Thanks, I hate it
>>
>>3208878
... fuck.
>>
>>3208878
fuck dude
>>
>>3208878
>Are you gonna be here forever or what?

You're doing this on purpose aren't you?
>>
>>3208878
Let's not do a Shinji.
>>
>>3208878
I'm so fucked up.
>>
>>3208878
Plot twist: the reason I couldn't wait for this to come back is because I can't wait for it to end.
>>
>>3208878
>WAKE UP
>>
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You're washing your hands in the sink when she comes in. "Dr. Carte," you say, surprised.

"Call me Renee."

You lean in and whisper, as if Cerise will overhear: "how's she doing?"

"I'm close," Renee says, and whether it's just for your sake or not, she's whispering too. "I do think it's reversible."

Close is good. Reversible is better.

"How much longer?"

"I'm talking days here, Alabaster. But I do need a little help... and the fucking feds have their eyes on this place... on me..."

You know what she's driving at. "Gal is smart. If you need her here, I'm sure she can find her way in. Technologically, I mean. The courage to leave her apartment, though..."

"I'm counting on you," Dr. Carte says. "So's your sister. Can you have her here on Monday?"

Short notice. But you need to try. If Cerise could wake up... you'd do anything for that.

---

Outside, Dr. Carte lights up a cigarette and shares a reproachful gaze with Noelle, who's waiting a short walk across the parking lot beside the car.

You're about to go, but something holds you back.

"Spare one?" You ask her.

"One what?" Dr. Carte replies.

"A cigarette."

"Cigarettes are bad for your health."

"Thanks, doctor. It doesn't seem to be stopping you."

"I'm an adult," she says.

"Yeah? So am I."

"I'm an older adult!" She insists.

But she relents at your unimpressed look. She hands you a cigarette and directs you to put it to your lips. Then something you didn't expect: she leans in, lighting yours with the glowing cherry of hers.

You begin to cough immediately.

"That's what I thought," she says.

"Don't bitch at me. I'm not interested."

You struggle through the cigarette, hacking and coughing the whole time. From the distance, Noelle watches with a bemused expression.

"Where's Whitney?" Dr. Carte asks after a few minutes.

"Grand Canyon."

"Could you, for once, not be a sarcastic little shit?"

You shake your head. "I'm for real. She went on a helicopter tour with Vivian."

"...Really?"

"Scout's honor."

"You're no scout." She throws her butt down, stomps on it. "Vivian went along willingly, then?"

You nod.

The smile on Dr. Carte's lips is warm and broad. "I'm glad to hear it. I want them to get along..."

You try to take an appreciative drag to that, but it just makes you double over and threaten to lose a lung. Dr. Carte saves you by snatching the cigarette from your fingers and finishing it for you.

"Call that a failed experiment," she says. "If I see you smoking again, I'll kick your ass."

"Whatever, mom."

"Such a rude little brat." She squeezes your shoulder. "Go talk with Gal. We're waking Cerise up on Monday."
>>
>>3208878
>[x] Do a Shinji
no seriously let's not
>>
>>3208884
>>3208886
>>3208887
Don't worry guys Cerise will wake up just in time when we are at our lowest and save the day! r-right?
>>
>>3208892
What happened to you IaTM? You were so optimistic in Season 1.

You need to go back and get the Mind of Steel ending.
>>
>>3208894
God, I've missed her
>>
>>3208836
No and no.
>>
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>>3208878

WAKE UP
>>
>>3208894
it's nice to see her again
>>
>>3208894
I really did miss Renee.
>Dr. Carte
Of course we're back to this old song and dance.
>>
>>3208902
We will resurrect her smile
>>3208903
>>3208892
We'll save Trackman's smile as well!
>>
>>3208894
>>3208907
cerise is going to be okay. i believe in the power of cakey
>>
>>3208894
Ohhhhhhh thats the stuff
>>
>>3208878
>[x] WAKE UP
>>
>>3208892
Punished Trackman
>>
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>>3208878
>>
>>3208920
please no
>>
>>3208920
It hurts...
>>
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>>3208920
I miss her so much bros
>>
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>>3208894
>"How much longer?"
>"I'm talking days here, Alabaster.

>"Go talk with Gal. We're waking Cerise up on Monday."
>>3208903
>>3208912
>>3208919
Could you imagine trusting this man? OP seeks to destroy all that we wish to fix. He has always been the Darkbloom to our Alabaster. Never forget.
>>
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>>3208920
You did this to fuck with me.
>>
>>3208929
You throw OP and planefag into a cage match, who wins?
>>
>>3208929
>[x] Oyakodon
hey man, that greasy shit got me through high school
>>
>>3208929
>implying more then half of that list isn't *glorious*
>>
>>3208935
Given Planefag's track record of not finishing anything, I'd say OP Studios
>>
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>>3208920

Cerise isn't responding because she woke up to the real world to eat mom's cake and left her digital body behind.

>>3208929

Relentless villainy.
>>
>>3208935
You wouldn't even need to throw in OP, planefag is his own mortal enemy.
>>
>>3208943
He keeps saying that he'll go back to KCQ eventually but when have the Greeks ever been trustworthy?
>>
>>3208944
She's still in that other world. The one where her and Ally watched the fireworks together.
>>
>>3208949
yes and the greek government also says it will pay debts, and look how that's worked out

I still hold out hope for KCQ, and probably will for the foreseeable future, as desperate as it may be
>>
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>>3208929
>[x] getting banned from /a/
>[x] getting banned from /tg/
>[ ] getting banned from /qst/
>>
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OP YOU BASTARD, BRING HER BACK ALREADY

...please
>>
>>3208952
Imagine being Alabaster and being so desperate to rip your sister out of her ideal paradise and bring her back into the wretched world that put her into that very situation.
>>
>>3208958
... so Season 6 of Buffy? I'm sure OP can do better than that.
>>
You ever think that somewhere out there on some dead quest site, there's another Fuck Quest where Cerise is the main character and she's trapped in a virtual world, but there's no anons spamming
>[X] WAKE UP
>>
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Noelle drops you at the parking garage across from work. you pick up your car and swing it around to where Rose2 texted you she'd be waiting.

She's there, but she seems a little surprised to see you as you step out onto the curb.

"Are you ready or not?" You demand.

"Ready?"

"To go home. Fuck..."

"Oh gosh..." she mutters. "Yeah, you were gonna take me, huh?"

"Is this a joke?" You say. "You're joking, right?"

"I totally forgot!" She slaps her forehead with the heel of her palm. "A-durr! I'm such an airhead."

"Okay, so if you forgot I was taking you -- why were you waiting here?"

"I got my imouto to pick me up! She just got her license, so she's been super psyched to drive, you know? She drove all the way up to get me. Just like that!" She snaps her fingers.

"You never told me you had a little sister," you say.

"Uh, a-yes I have," she says. "Geez, Alabaster, you could at least pay attention when I tell you stuff. Come on!"

"Well anyway, thanks for wasting my time." You make for the door to your car, but stop when you see another car slowly pulling up.
>>
>>3208961
quick somebody get to that cerise board
>>
>>3208969
SHE HAS AN IMOUTO?
OH FUCK.
>>
>>3208969
COULD IT BE?
>>
>>3208961
All realities are possible, anon. All realities.
>>3208969
ALL REALITIES
>>
>>3208961
d-don't scare us like that anon, haha
>>3208970
SOMEBODY PLEASE QUICK
>>
"There she is now!" Rose2 says. "Amber! Over here!"

Your heart does backflips in your chest and you actually begin to shake. This can't be real. But it's real. Camelia is in the driver's seat of an old Toyota Camry.

She rolls down the window and sits her butt on the frame, waving to Rose2. "Toot toot, bitches! Hop the fuck in!"

Rose2 turns to you, but your sight are fixed on this fucking zombie sitting before you. Her hair is red. Her eyes are blue as lapis. She's not wearing an eyepatch.

"Thanks anyway, Alabaster," Rose2 is saying, but she may as well be droning like a desk fan because you're not paying attention.

"Who's the creep?" Camelia says.

"This is Alabaster! Alabaster, this is Amber!"

You can only gawp.

"This is the guy you're so crazy about?" Camelia says, snorting.

"Amber!!!" Rose2 squeaks, indignant and shocked. "What the heck!"

"Figures this is the kind of guy you're into. What a weirdo. Did he decide to pretend he's one of those deaf-mutes, or what?" She waves a flattened palm up and down like wiping off a windshield. "Hellloooo? Anyone home?"

You stammer, but nothing intelligible comes out.

"It's like he saw a ghost or something..." Camelia says.

Rose2 tugs on your arm. "I'm sorry about my beloved imouto. Don't take it personal. She's like this with everyone."

"Your sister..." is the only thing you finally manage.

"I'll see you Monday, Alabaster! Thanks again!"

She hugs you and gets in the car. Camelia slinks back into the driver's seat.

As Camelia pulls away, she flips you off, laughing.

Her tires screech on the asphalt, leaving behind burnt black rubber in their wake, and you blink in shock at the receding car.

END OF EPISODE 1.
>>
>>3208978
I FUCKING KNEW IT
>>
>>3208969
Well anons? Any imouto predictions?
>>
>>3208978
You motherfucker.
You absolute
Motherfucker.
>>
>>3208978
WHAT THE FUCK
>>
>>3208978
WHAT
>>
>>3208978
If she's alive what are the chances that Darkbloom lived?
>>
>>3208978
YOU WHAT
>>
>>3208978
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

OK YOU FUCKER
>>
>>3208978
This is GLORIOUS!
>>
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>>3208978
Nani the fuck
>>
>>3208978
!!!!!!!
>>
>>3208978
Soooo THAT'S why her last name is Catacheresis
>>
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>>3208978
>>
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>>3208978
>>
Season 3 ED (A): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U176fUXwPYA

Sorry for no lewd this week. I'll make up for it next week.
>>
>>3208978
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa
>>
>>3208978
oh FUCK.

Also, OP. I love how Abalaster still continues to internalise her as camelia.
>>
>>3208999
GG OP nice trips
>>
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>>3208978
>>
>>3208999
>Sorry for no lewd this week. I'll make up for it next week.
We make the choices this is all our fault.
>>
There's fuckery afoot. A lot of things aren't adding up.

God I can't fucking wait.
>>
>>3208978

Nandatto?!

Thanks for your hard work OP!
>>
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>>3208978
>"What the heck!"
Me too.
>>3208999
Sometimes FuckQuest is just mind fuck.
>>
>>3208999
No problem OP, welcome back!
>>
>>3209012
This is what we get for trying to fuck Rose2 honestly. Once again she fucked it up

Also, あああああああああああああああああああ
>>
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Why does Amber get to come back but not Mom!

Amber is a Nazi terrorist while all mom wanted was her kids to be happy

It's not fair...
>>
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>>3208995

My god you're right.
>>
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I really didn't think I'd have to update the checklist this soon.

>>3208999
It's good to have you back, OP.
>>
We passed upon the stair
We spoke of was and when
Although I wasn't there
He said I was his friend
Which came as some surprise
I spoke into his eyes
I thought you died alone
A long long time ago

>>3209013
And finally, the thing I missed most about this quest? These moments when a bomb drops and we have to pick up the pieces.
>>
>>3208997
Oh man, do you have a link to that? Shitty flash games are the fucking best
>>
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>>3209019
one day anon, one day
>>
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>>3209022
Good choice of pic for "Amber".
>>
>>3209027
Couldn't have gone with anything else
>>
Friendly reminder that this is us and we're here now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zQd6xiGAUo
>>
>>3208978
So how much of late S1 was a simulation, taking bets now.
>>
>>3208999
Thank you, OP, you wild fucking man
>>3209023
>>3208995
>>3209015
>>3209012
>>3208978
I legit cannot stop grinning
I can't express how happy I am to be back here questing with all of you
>>
>>3209026
Do you think fapping to Rinko will make me more sad or less sad?
>>
>>3209033
You and me both, Brother!
>>
>>3208978
You know it would've been real fucking pottery if OP released Amber's character card on Twitter at the same time as this
>>
>>3209033
Don't say sappy stuff like that anon. It might spread to the rest of us
>>
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As the thread for tonight winds down and we begin the first weeklong wait of season 3, I want to take a moment to say how happy I am to be back and how amazing it is to see you here reading! Thanks for sticking around.

I'm out of practice with running, so like the first episode of the prior season, I was pretty slow tonight! I hope I can be faster and put more out in the coming weeks. There were plenty of scenes that I couldn't get to tonight, which we'll have to see later.

All the OC and speculah and stuff people make is humbling.

Let's have fun! (nothing bad.)
>>
>>3209042
>nothing bad

[x] Doubt
>>
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>>3208978
I'm glad she's back. Toot toot motherfuckers!
>>
>>3209042
>winds down
You are a man full of lies and deception. I'm only growing excited.
>>
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>>3209042
>>
>>3209042
Thanks for running and goodnight sleepy Yuki

I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW
>>
>>3209025
Afraid not anon, I stole that image from somebody else.
>>
>>3209042
We all love you OP! So glad to have you back!
>>
Holy shit it does not feel like we've been at this for almost 6 hours
>>
>>3209042

Personally I don't mind a slower pace if it's more comfortable for writing.

>(nothing bad)

Worry.
>>
>>3209042
It's great to have you back OP! Sweet dreams :)
>>
>>3209057
It ended under 500 posts, too.
>>
>>3209042
Looking forward to next week! Good night OP!
>>
>>3209042
You are a magnificent human, and I enjoy everything you provide us with. Inmaynhave missed Season 2, but I'm here for the start of S.3, and I'll be here for every second of this fabulous adventure.

Stay gold OP
>>
Ok so:
>Alex is a husk of his former self
>Our relationship with Noelle is basically shattered
>Cerise is in a coma
>And Amber is back which probably means Darkbloom is gonna make one last stand
But hey at least Whitney and Vivian will have some cute sister times, right?
>>
>>3209073
>BREAKING: Whitney and Vivian Darkbloom found dead in tragic Grand Canyon helicopter crash. It is unknown whether or not the crash was the result of an attack, or sheer misfortune.
>>
>>3209073
>cute sister times

You mean sexy sister times.
>>
>>3209073
Inb4 Rose2 is darkbloom
>>
>>3209078
You. Stop that. Stop that right now
>>
>>3209078
>last seconds of the cockpit voice recording are a female voice proudly saying, "There's no way this is THAT hard, let me try."
>>
What if Cerise is Darkbloom?
>>
>>3209085
All she wanted to do was impress her little sis
>>
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>>3209078
I'm going to need you to calm the fuck down, Anon.
>>
>>3209085
This is more worrying than seeing Camelia again.
>>
>>3209081
>Darkbloom turned himself into a waifu for Alabaster

Best father-in-law possible.
>>
>>3209078
What if no bodies were found? The FBI has the world's best witness protection program after all.
>>
>>3209092
What if they don Nazi uniforms and plot the destruction of California using some weird psychological disease unique to the state under the guise of a shadowy organization named "Washington"
>>
>>3207759
Ok, just so we're clear, that was definently Alabaster and Rose talking right?
>>
>>3209098
I'd join desu.
>>
The first 4:21 of the season, ladies and gents. Here's to all the rest.
>>
The time is now 4:21.
>>
It is currently 4:21
>>
>>3209105
And now we wait.
>>
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>>3209105
>>3209106
>>3209107
>>
>>3209088
>"There's no way this is THAT hard, let me try."
>"Ma'am, I can't just let you--"
>"Oh shit, I think I can hear your paycheck burning. You better go put that out."
>"Whitney, you can not just--"
>"Don't sweat it, sis. This is gonna be awesome. Trust me, I did a shit load of Microsoft Flight Simulator in a jerk-off tech class in middle school. I mean, I mostly was just trying to 9/11 the tallest building I could find, but I totally got the basics."
>*Several terrified screams and one excited one*
>Recording ends abruptly
>>
>>3209116
[squawks in 7500]
>>
>>3209116
>I mean, I mostly was just trying to 9/11 the tallest building I could find, but I totally got the basics.
Goddamn anon that is a fucking Whitney line if I ever saw one
>>
It's still questionable as fuck whether this is the real Amber. As far as we know, she's another doppleganger. We have one confirmed, one possible so far between Damon and Rose: Origins. This Amber could just be a third doppleganger.

Something EXTRA fucky is going on here. Something that was seeded a long time ago.
>>
>>3209139
>inb4 it's Darkbloom's brain transplanted into a cloned Amber body
>>
>>3209139
This is some real hardcore shit going on here that's possibly even greater than Darkbloom.
>>
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>>3209139
>Amber II
>Mass production Ambers on the scale of ReiClones
The absolute fucking Meta upon Meta of twists
>>
>>3209147
>mass produce Amber clones at a rate that makes them only worth about $1,800

I'll take ten.
>>
>>3209139
Fucking hell. I forgot to consider Makoto in all this. There's essentially two Whitneys, too.

This doppleganger shit is gonna have me fucked up.
>>
>>3209050
All good, I managed to fine it anyway.

117511 on Newgrounds
>>
>>3209086
What if you are Darkbloom?
>>
>>3208878
>>3208920
Man It hurts

>>3208978
What the fuck
>>
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>>3208878
>>3208978
>>
>>3208330
NPChalmers huh? Nice one OP
>>
>>3209042
>I was pretty slow tonight!
I've put up with so much worse, I was actually thinking to myself how fast the updates were compared to some other QMs I'm used to.
>>
I remember when I first started reading FUCK Quest, it was the crash landing in /tg/...

and then someone rolled a 6 on how many girls mad
>>
>>3209971
Looking back, I'd like to say we've moved on from being violated in spats.
But we're still getting fucked
>>
>>3209980
Has Alabaster been violated in spats yet?
>>
>>3210010
Not in this timeline, no. Happened either at the end of S1's first ep or second. Something to add to the list for this season.
>>
So on Service with a Twist, how about a spin on that moviepass thing but done with a streaming service? Like, it's netflix in a theater. Audience members vote on what movie to watch with an app, and they experience streaming cinema that's been bought collectively for one showing with all the reclining and ass warming they want.

Next Level Anime Clubrooms and Chill
>>
>>3210046
Or, how about government-backed camgirl cells that generate revenue while also destabilizing lesser countries for Uncle Sam?
>>
>>3210046
So basically Cinema from Gmod.
>>
>>3210055
A GoFishery: whenever a loved one dies, you can produce a new one from the genetic material left over from when they bathe in a special bin that collects juices. Juicing Peripherals sold separately.
>>
>>3210063
Helicar Mod: Parallel Parking hard, so just come in from Up! Would need California to start painting H's in parallel parking spaces.
>>
>>3210084
CatCall: When your child or lover is not where they're supposed to be according to a GPS tracker, you can send out a drone with a giant claw on it to hone in on their signal and bring them to you for the price of an UberX.
>>
>>3210109
For those too quick on the draw with a peashooter: A condom that expands to the shape and size of a bigger dick the more you cum while maintainin ng stability.
>>
>>3210137
The EXPAND-ON!
>>
Gatcha Game with Biblical Figures who are all girls to get money from weebs and christians.
>>
>>3210063
>You will never drink the Whitney broth
;_;
>>
here's an idea. FA.I.R play. an AI replacement for public defenders. Attorneys who do public defense often have hideously crowded work schedules. sometimes they may have only five or so minutes to prepare for a case.

An "AI" like Watson can scan your case for irregularities to get you off on a technicality, employ well known cross examination techniques, and basically be the most basic competent lawyer possible.

compared to a guy whose overworked, underpaid, and stressed out whose just going to tell you to accept a plea bargain it's far better.

of course the massive upswing in real trials will place a strain on the criminal justice system, but I'm sure our company has innovative solutions for that in the works right?
>>
>>3210393
RoboTin, a Android Marshal who won't arrest any Darkbloom Employees while pushing regular police and FBI's out of a job.
>>
>>3210415
Life-OO (Oxygenic Optimizer): Have your favorite fictional character coach you on from the hologram cloud of a (performance enhancement) vapor-spewing drone!
>>
Ok so, hot take after sleeping on it last night.
-NuCamelia is old Camelia. She "crashed" when DA's servers went down, but someone fixed her. The process wasn't perfect so she's lost her memories.
-Short of clones shenanigans, David's dead for good.
-Of course, if someone fixed Camelia, they probably have David's body has well so i'm fully expecting clone shenanigans
>>
>>3210444
Alabaster dies and gets cloned to where he cums white chocolate.
>>
>>3210444
Doesn’t explain anything about her situation involving Rose. This fuckery goes deep. Either Rose is someone’s plant, Amber got fixed by someone (Sable?) and is getting Rose to play along with this cherade, or this doppelganger shit is real and someone, without Darkbloom’s knowledge, made clones of people that would be significant to us.
>>
>>3210840
An extension of Amber possibly being fixed is that, like was mentioned, her mind might have been totally wiped. This also means that waking Cerise has the possibility of wiping her as well.
>>
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Safe T-Shell: Body Armor for school-children that makes them look like tools while having plenty of pouches for tools like writing utensils and thermoses. Each carapace has a combination that only a kid and their parent should know for opening in case of fire or toilet, and a mini-fridge for juice. Schookdesks will be a thing of the past with the built in seat on the T-Shell, so it's environment-friendly as well.
>>
...what kind of products does our company sell, btw?
>>
>>3211070
Info. Exposure. Advertising.
At this point, almost nothing that's useful to anyone but old Jews. Which is why we're completely hemorrhaging money.
>>
>>3210444
bullshit. camellia 2.0 is oldcamellia.
she has the same personality, camellia knew she was going to die when she killed David, she was inside the servers for a large portion of season 2 working on something, Damon being alive proves revenants/cyborgs/doppelganger are possible, and she flat out told Ally she would see him in a new life.

the only questions here are how much continuity of memory is present, and what mechanism is responsible for her resurrection
>>
>>3210393
further opportunities for monetization include as a pay for service legal advice for regular folks, a subscription service to assist legal aides and paralegals, and as a lead generation service for lawyers. after all if someone is searching for "how to nullify last will and testament" that's useful information
>>
>>3211223
Seems like we'd have to decide on what the focus would be: The Ease of Usage, or the Quality of Service?
>>
>>3208935

Definitely Planefag. I mean sure Fuck Quest OP has an amazing sense of voice which he combines with a tight character focus to produce amazingly engaging characters without getting too long-winded for the whole "live updates" style of quest format, but Planefag is far more descriptive. He really immerses you in the amazing setting his characters inhabit, like a drafty old castle or an office building somewhere on Yokosuka Naval Base. Hell, sometimes he even describes the *landscaping!* And then there's how he describes machines; he makes them sound alive and vigorous, so much that you can easily forget about the "character" in the cockpit. And it's not even long-winded; he just crams six adjectives into one sentence and re-arranges them until they don't sound quite tiresome enough to qualify as a run-on sentence, even though they are. But that's just the quality of Planefag's advanced technique.

Sure, Fuck Quest OP actually wastes characters and writes them fucking like rabbits on the regular (with wonderful skill,) the two thinks Planefag can't bring himself to do if you held a fucking gun to his head (well, three, if you count updating,) but can Fuck Quest OP make you *feel* like you're trapped in a stale conference room listening to a dozen old grumpy fucks discussing the finer points of high-frequency active sonar torpedo guidance packages? It might take him three hours to write, but when those six paragraphs come out, you can damn near *smell* the faint dust wafting down from the drop-tile ceiling, shaken loose by the brief air-raid action from six months ago. That sounds like a dis, but when he writes a battle scene it also lasts for six months in real-time, so it's an excellent balance. Can Fuck Quest OP do that? I don't think so!

And then there's the "fuck every girl" thing, which is cowardly and indecisive. Planefag requires readers make a choice; which gives the player's relationship choices meaning. Sure, he might end up doing 80% of every girl's prospective "romance" route anyways, including a level of intimacy which would pretty much mean they're fucking already IRL, but Planefag's too classy to resort to smut (even when the characters would totally be fucking). That way readers get most of the pleasure of every girl's romance route but there's a final payoff at stake, riding on the route-lock choice (Keine lewds doesn't count, because that story was clearly routelocked from day 1 so him never delivering them doesn't count as a welsh.)

But don't take my word for it! Someday he'll come back and style on Fuck Quest OP so hard that he might even notice it. This is a great quest but lets be real here, there's just no comparing them.
>>
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>>3211578
>>
>>3211578
Who even is Planefag? What's he known for?

From what you described his stuff doesn't seem too fun to read
>>
>>3211578
>Someday he'll come back
>>
>>3211658
Flight Tower Quest
>>
>>3211673
is there an archive of his stuff?
>>
>>3211687
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=planefag
>>
What if FUCK Quest Super: Rose is a literal semen demon Shackleford found from a Gypsy in Vegas that he sicced on us to take our mojo away?
>>
>>3211223
if we are on the topic of money making ideas, then we have a golden one sitting in our own back yard

we know, for a fact that cuckbook is about to become 350 times more liberal. thus, after a brief snowstorm all the fascist wannabes are going to exodus en masse from the new SJW utopia.

I say we begin luring them away NOW by creating a non affiliated startup catering to their tastes. it will be well established by the time the left wing agenda sweeps over Facebook. then we, as DA buy the promising new startup. If that won't work then we buy wherever the right wing folks do flock to.

Then we set up BATTL under the guise of promoting discussion and "reducing the entrenched political divide". Facebook and Whatever users can debate (or invite to a debate) each other on different "grounds" while posting video/pictures/etc. in support of their position with users being able to vote on the winner. because the one thing people like as much as porn is being right on the internet in an argument with a total stranger.

on the backside we can sell users opinions as relevant polling data.

eventually we can expand it to cover other topics. best restaurants in your city (location), religion, opinions about which smut quest is better, anything really.

it's fun to watch, it's fun to argue on, and it could even net us good or for encouraging discussion.

other name ideas: soapbox, town hall, ahora

as an aside this would also drive up membership in participating social media outlets and improve their profitability as well.
>>
>>3211578
>And then there's the "fuck every girl" thing, which is cowardly and indecisive

This /is/ Fuck Quest, what did you expect, hand holding?

Anyways OP Studios has a big advantage in his court, namely having updated his quest more recently than 2016. Planefag the fat debt dodging greek cunt that he is has since decided shitposting on twitter is a more valuable use of time than actually writing the quests his fan base desires. He even has a patreon now, that he's never updated!

OP Studios on the other hand at least writes consistently!
>>
>>3211854
also, it's conceivable that a number of very well liked/succesful users could parlay that exposure into a political career. especially if they were helped along with generous campaign donations.

we could also buy Intuitive Surgical and accelerate da vincis into real autonomous surgeons, especially with access to what we have.

We can have Galatea and fazil teaching counter intrusion (and intrusion) to a data security (and other services) division.
>>
>>3211223
Time to finish what Darkbloom started: fully functional sexbots
>>
>>3211938
This. We will become Darkbloom.

Eternal recurrence for the win
>>
>>3211983
>Eternal recurrence for the lose
https://youtu.be/xBiV1EffyEc
>>
>>3211852

Whitney's been a succubus from the start so it'd be nothing new.
>>
Dammit, we better get another chance to fuck in a helicopter, QM.
>>
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>>3212299
>>3210084
Eh, eh?
>>
>>3211622
>>3211673
>Strike Witches
get this SHIT out of here, the only good thing about SW is jerk off material.
>>
>>3211658
>What's he known for?
Alt right tweets and not running his quests.
>>
>>3212541
>planefag
>alt-right

wewlad
>>
>>3212541
Get outta here Rose.
>>
>>3212553
>>3212575
He's a major Trump supporter and his twitter is filled with pro Trump tweets, calling planefag alt right isn't an opinion.
>>
>>3211858
>what did you expect, hand holding?
Consensual Hand-Holding Quest when? We might have to use even more pastebin links than usual, but I'm sure we can make it work!
>>
>>3212585
Rose don't make me face fuck you retarded you stupid cunt, if I wanted a whore's opinion I'd follow a Kardashian's twitter.
>>
>>3212597
Sick fuck.
>>
>>3212684
We're all degenerates here, Anonymous-dono.

Also, I just realized. Next episode? Airs on Groundhog Day. Bravo OP.
>>
>>3212689
If Cerise doesn’t wake up, we get six more weeks of fuck quest
>>
>>3208724
I don't get the joke behind this shirt. I preferred "Kulaks deserved it" and "Honk if you like the Juche idea"
>>
>>3213442
Communism is a classless system or something.
>>
>>3213460
that makes sense. god her aesthetic is excellent.
>>
>>3213442
>I don't get the joke behind this shirt
Anon...
>>
>>3213460
>>3213550
That and they're also shitty people with shitty ideas. I chose that shirt because the double entendre perfectly mirrors her personality.
>>
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Well that's it guys, you can go home. Hugging Alex was the "You're great" of season. We peaked in the episode 1 and now it's just a downward spiral from here
>>
>>3215282
Hush you. Too many mysteries to be solved. Too much shadowrunning to take care of. Too many cakes to frost.
>>
Thought for the day: one of the most interesting changes from the original Fuck Quest to season 2 was that Vivian and David actually got along in season 2. Vivian truly loves her father in this timeline.

Given that Vivian’s condition in the original FQ is due to a car accident, this means FQ1 is the timeline where David actually succeeds in killing Mara with Vivian unknowingly in the car, right? So everything in FQ1 is because of a David driven insane by guilt. He murdered his own daughter!

It’s really sad to think about because Vivian had no good outcome, averting the accident in the original timeline only delayed and compounded her suffering, because now in this timeline she lost a father she still loves... season 3 Vivian is the same traumatized little girl of season 1.
>>
>>3215356
Season 3 Objectives:
1. Save Darkbloom Analytics from financial disaster (at minimum until we can detach ourselves from the servers, preferably longer term for other reasons.)

2. Wake up Cerise and save her from the torment that is Sand Reckoner.

3. Locate Sable Guiteau, ensure that her genius mind can be used for good (may be necessary for 2).

4. Figure out what the hell is going on with these dopplegangers (two Damons, two Ambers, two Whitneys, three possibly four Roses).

5. Bring back the smiles. All of the smiles.

6. Take down the Russian Mafia.

7. Tame the wild industry that is the Palo Alto tech scene (or crush it under our heels).

8. 16/16

9. 1/1

10. Umi da!


12 episodes to go, Anonymous-tachi. Buckle the fuck up.
>>
>>3215391
>two Whitneys
>three/four Roses

Fucking what?
>>
>>3215419
Whitney and Makoto
Rose Origins, Rose: The Sequel, the "Rose" we saw in the sewers, and potentially Charlotte.
>>
>>3215423
>Makoto
What the fuck is this referring to

>rose origins, rose the sequel, rose in the sewers
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Also i think the one in the sewers may have been a hallucination
>>
>>3215433
Have you not been following the Twitter, Anonymous-dono? Like, at all?
>>
>>3215441
No, I haven't looked at it in ages. Is he putting up hints AGAIN?
>>
>>3215452
He was posting new character profiles throughout the entire hiatus, Anonymous-dono. It's really worth following. I can't wait to meet Makoto.
>>
>>3215456
>his stiff, aloof and overtly logical persona, though carefully cultivated as it was, could come across as a form of mild autism.
Fantastic.
>>
>>3215391
>>3215423

I thought we did see Rose in the sewers, she's acting like she wasn't there as a defense mechanism in response to the awful things we said to her.
>>
>>3215530
Alabaster never told Gal's House Rose what he said or the context. with the assumption that Sewer Rose is from the near future, she went down there still totally unprepared for him to say that to her.
>>
>>3215391
I'm still waiting for the beach OVA
>Starts off with Alabaster asking if Cerise wants to go to the beach, just the two of them
>Get there
>"Yo Ally! It's such a nice day out today, so I figured I should take Alex with me to the beach!"
>"On a day like today, everyone will be at the beach to sexually harass women! Naturally, I had to do my part to stop this madness."
>"Hello Alabaster Soliloquy. With such delightful weather, it only makes sense that I would bring my mother with me to the beach."
>"Working in the same place all the time hurts my back. I figured working on the sand would feel better."
>"Hey Alabaster, it may be hard to believe, but Galatea wanted to come to the beach today. Got any change?"
>"I looked outside today and thought, "The weather is perfect! We should have an anime club outing to the beach!""
>"My parole officer said that as long as there were no children present, they would permit one trip to the beach."
>"Welcome to the beach Ala-bas-tor! I will be your lifeguard on this lovely day!"
>"Howdy Alabaster, what brings you to Goo Lagoon?"
>>
>>3215468
That Time article still blows me away. It’s written and formatted just like an actual Time article. To go to THAT level of effort for world building... it’s kind of crazy. It was a fun read, though.
>>
>>3215579
>Not updating it for the new characters
Pathetic
>>
AAAAAAAA
>>
>>3216468
Her alleged "birthday" is the day before Catachresis was installed into the Camelia we know. aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
I am so fucking turned on right now.
>>
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This is abuse
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>>3216504
By the way a cute touch I liked was the fact that Amber's birthday was yesterday which implies that she got her licence to celebrate her 17th birthday.

Well played OP
>>
>>3216570
>yesterday
... eh?
>>
>>3215356

As author, this has always been the saddest part for me too.

Near the end of season 2 when things fell into place and it came time for Darkbloom to die, I really wanted Alabaster to see it with the rest of the Darkbloom Analytics board (the ones who had stayed behind in Palo Alto). Or more specifically, to be in the same room with Vivian seeing it happen.

I don't think Vivian has ever truly emoted throughout the course of Fuck Quest, but you definitely would have seen it in that scene. I'm picturing a kind of breakdown that Alabaster would have mentally compared to when Cerise got the news about their parents (we saw this in a flashback if you'll recall).

Alabaster would have been too stunned to act, so I had Armstrong eventually being the one to bodily remove Vivian from the room and away from the sight of what's happening to her father.

Maybe it's better that I couldn't maneuver this scene into fruition, but in my mind, this is basically how it happened sand Alabaster being present.

>>3216570
>>3216585
Point of clarification since I haven't been very clear: the current date in Fuck Quest is sometime around mid-August 2019. I haven't pinned down a date but if you pay attention to birth dates and ages on the character cards I've been posting, it's clear that the date has to be sometime between early July and late August.

I initially wanted the new season to begin on July 2, Rose's birthday (or July 4, Rose2's birthday), but there's too much else going on.
>>
>>3216618
>I don't think Vivian has ever truly emoted throughout the course of Fuck Quest, but you definitely would have seen it in that scene.
It's fine, I don't really care about her or want to.

I mean, shouldn't we grow up and move on from lolis?
>>
>>3216625
Oy fuck you.
>>
>>3216625

Rude! Vivian Darkbloom is the very image of mature femininity! Gaze upon her buxom breasts and hourglass form!

Furthermore, she is above the age of consent in all 50 states!
>>
>>3216636
Bullshit, the character you fell in love with was underage! You'll always be thinking about that version!
>>
>>3216636
Still best girl. After all these years.
>>
>>3216618
Oh ok nevermind then. Glad we at least got a more specific date though
>>
>>3216625
Gay

>>3216636
Best
>>
>>3216636
Hello sir! What do you think of my inventions up above? Could they turn the company around?
>>
>>3216636
Funny coming from a guy who hours ago brought back a character as a minor who we'll probably have to fuck for the first time again.
>>
>>3216700
Isn't she 17 in her bio?
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>>3216702
OP likes girls who are just illegal enough that Ally can fuck them and get out with a Romeo and Juliet clause.
>>
>>3216705
Not to say I don't enjoy the concept as well.
>>
>>3216692
I think you're better at this game than I am. I could believe that you've actually pitched startup concepts to lazy, johnny-come-lately investors--

>>3210109
Oh, I see.

Go to bed, Rose.
>>
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>>3216618
>I initially wanted the new season to begin on July 2, Rose's birthday (or July 4, Rose2's birthday)
Am I the only one who's getting the vibe that Rose2 is gonna be more relevant to this season then I ever expected her to be? It's kinda weird how much focus she had in the first episode despite being completely new. I hope she keeps this streak, I really don't want her entire significance to the plot isn't just "She's Amber's sister". She's a good girl
>>
>>3216837
I hope she gets carbombed on her driving test.
>>
>>3216848
>>
>>3215899
I don't like this situation we've found ourselves in.
If we stay the fuck away from Amber then Rose2 will have a yandere duel to the death with Rose, if we do try to keep ourselves from a trip on a particularly glamorous boat, then the FBI is gonna get us again.
If we elope with Keiki to "max security" prison, then Whitney and her company is gonna get killed by the fucking Russian mafia.
If we side with Vivian then Mama is gonna try to fucking kill us at every opportunity. And Rose2 is gonna fuck us up.
I think the only way we can make things end well is if we get Keiki to lock us and the rest of the harem in a big prison cell.
But I honestly wouldn't be too opposed to being locked up alone as long as Keiki can visit often.
>you will never bond with Keiki over hentai
I just want her to be happy. She's always shafted by everyone, but at the same time shafted by no one. We must be the change we wish to see in the world.
>>
>>3217336
>keiki will never lock herself in your cell with her bunny girl outfit on to keep you company
>>
>>3216837
eh, I preferred Rose2 as sand reckoners utterly failed attempt at reconciling Alabaster's notions of happiness.

I was mildly dissatisfied when she was revealed to be an actual character.I suppose, like most weebs, Rose2 is better as a concept than an actuality.

Ten bucks says she winds up fucking stackleford.
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>>3217371
>fucking Stackleford
>literally anyone ever
Ya, naw.
>>
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>>3217371
I mean she really wasn't some failed attempt at a perfect girl, more like a result of a simulation of our ideal world as whole which served as a way for OP to explain season 1 in some as opposed to leaving the whole thing unaddressed.

It was meant as a cute reference to see what could've been and then OP decided that the concept was interesting enough to expand on and then we got the prom flashback. Which eventually fleshed her out enough to be a character and was later brought into the story because quite frankly it's much more interesting than knowing she exists but not having any involvement with the plot.

>Ten bucks says she winds up fucking stackleford.
Fuck off. Even She hates that fat fuck
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>>3217735
I hope we never romance Roserrection FUCK
>>
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>>3217742
This is a no bully zone anon
>>
I strongly advised my friend who was watching Chunnibyou for the first time against watching the second season because it adds precisely nothing to the story. However, I have forgotten what actually does happen in the second season since it aired. What happened and did I do alright?
>>
>>3218006
Second season of chuu2 made me mad because NOTHING happened, even though Satone was a cute. It wasn't worth watching. The movie also isn't that great, despite its hilarious parallels with FQ2. At least in the movie they finally fucking kissed, good fucking lord that took way too long.
>>
>>3218015
>they kissed
Sweet Jesus in heaven that was supposed to be a wholesome Christian anime. Anything beyond passionate gazes into each other's eyes is too far, and even that's pushing it if it's for more than five seconds.
>>
>>3218020
Man, you should see the ending then, if you think just kissing is lewd.
>>
>>3218006
Nothing really happened at all. It was supposed to expand and develop the relationship that the last season was all about, which sounds good on paper except the fact that after 12 episodes the best we got was that they almost kissed

Satone was supposed to be Rikka's love rival/support but she was much better in both personality and dynamic with the mc and Rikka was acting all jealous of her despite having everybody she knew (including poor Satone) and still doing nothing. It came across like the mc only chose Rikka over Satone because he started dating her first and not because he loved her more, which pissed me off

The literal only reason to watch that season is because Satone is the cutest lifeform imaginable (Even if she totally got cucked in the end)

>>3218015
Hey I really liked that movie. But I must admit watching it with the knowledge of FQ in my mind definently improved the experience. When I saw the title was "Take on me" (Cerise's favorite song) I got chills and thought OP was pulling some illuminati shit
>>
>>3218090
The title was the only reason I bothered watching it, just to see how deep the rabbit hole went. It was appalling. OP can claim it was a coincidence all he wants, but I believe him, but holy shit it's still spooky.!
>>
>>3218104
I don't believe him for a second. He definently has a plan and I'm not sure it has our best interests at heart
>>
>>3218128
Shield of faith anon, shield of faith!
>>
>>3207783
>"Ohayou!"
>"Wisconsin"
God She's so best


>"I can't get enough of this chicken and egg bowl.
Welp, we're having a threesome with Whitney and Renée
>>
>>3208650
>Armstrong notices her, and gets a look on his face like he's seen a bear who somehow sneaked in.

Is Kay Vera Sir Bearington?
>>
>>3218151
My faith was lost when we couldn't protect Alex's smile
>>
>>3218753
WE'LL BRING IT BACK
;_;
>>
Alabaster doesn't deserve to be happy, he should just end himself to stop dragging down those around him.
>>
>>3218758
yeah...
>>
>>3218771
Alabaster did nothing wrong!
>>
>>3218826
Alabaster did nothing.
>>
>>3218771
Oh don't be an edgelord. Even if he is an ass, we wouldn't want to make the girls (and boy) sad by robbing them of him.

>>3218826
I mean...
>>
>>3218829
He did all he could in that horrible situation he was put into
>>
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>>3209042
Thanks OP Studios, glad to see you're back at it.

Have an image that may prove useful in future matters in this season
>>
>>3218931
I was planning on posting this image when we first meet Makoto but I guess this is fine too.
>>
>>3218931
I want this now
>>
>>3216618
>Alabaster would have been too stunned to act, so I had Armstrong eventually being the one to bodily remove Vivian from the room and away from the sight of what's happening to her father.

I could have seen with Armstrong or Nelson going in with the encompassing hug and burying her face in their shoulder so that she couldn't see it anymore and bringing her out of the room. Not out of any sense of fatherhood to Vivian, but out of a baser understanding that this girl they're familiar with shouldn't see that, and that for her own sake and those in the room, no one should be seeing her react to her own father's murder.

I would've enjoyed that sort of additional dimension to some of the secondary characters in FQ2. How other people relate to each other rather than simply how they relate to us.
>>
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>>3218988

I have a number of images suitable for this
>>
>>3219161
Whitney is for stomach-punching.
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>>3219162
Bad anon! Stop it!
>>
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>>3219162
She is most certainly not.

Go bad to your Sachiko threads, BAPfag.
>>
>>3219153
This is pretty much exactly how I imagined it. Nelson was in Washington so it couldn't have been him, but I think Armstrong would have been perfect for it. I've only hinted at it in one scene so far but Armstrong was a personal friend of David's (as far as two corporate cutthroats, even within the same C-suite, can be friends).

Armstrong is pretty true to his avatar in the sense of being a mercenary sort of person, to the point of basically being a sociopath, but I think he really likes Vivian. And regardless of liking he or or not, it would have been fucking horrible to see her reaction to David's death. He would have wanted to keep her from having to endure that shit. You're right that it's not really a fatherly thing, I think he actually respects Vivian as an equal (and regards her as potential competition in that sense also).
>>
>>3219254
OP-sama, OP-sama, any plans for a new version of THE CHART this season? I understand if you don't want to, considering how fucktardedly huge it's gotten.
>>
>>3221995
It's a work in progress. You'll see an updated version soon.
>>
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>>3222016
Keep up the good work!
>>
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>>3222022

I didn't forget the promised madlibs, either!
>>
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>>3222033
I did. Now I'm excited again!
>>
>>3222016
>The chart
Can't fucking wait. That shit is gonna be a fucking monster

>>3222033
>Mad libs
>MAD
>FUCKING
>LIBS
Holy shit I've been waiting (warmly) for those for so long that I actually never thought you'd do them
>>
Do you think Rose: The Squeakquel’s pussy actually smells like bubblegum and more importantly tastes like bubblegum. We must discover the truth of this claim.
>>
>>3223146
That's not how it works anon...
>>
>>3223486
Eating more pineapple makes male ejaculate sweeter.
>>
>>3223792
Yeah but eating bubblegum doesn't make your pussy smell like it
>>
>>3224356
Maybe she gets eaten out by someone with bubble gum in their mouth and then gets it in her mouth through a KISSU!
>>
>>3224402
Guys. I know what we gotta do
>>
>>3224402
>>3224597
Just warn me before you degenerates get to that point. I'm all for lewding the dumb weeb, but that shit is nasty.
>>
>>3225049
>What is a joke?
>>
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>>3225049
Nothing tops the Jolly Rancher story.

Steve and his girlfriend Samantha went off to college in August. She went to Florida State, he went to Penn. So, she decides to fly to PA to visit him. He was really happy to see her so he decided to give her some oral action.

He had done this numerous times before and he always enjoyed doing it...but for some reason, this time, she smelled really horrible, and she tasted even worse. He didn't want to offend her though because he hadn't seen her in months...so he put a Jolly Rancher in his mouth to cover it up, even though it didn't do much to help.

In the course of eating her out, he accidentally pushed the candy inside of her... and stuck a finger in to grab it out. He took it out, and put it back into his mouth and bit it. Only...it wasn't the Jolly Rancher.

It was a nodule of gonorrhea.

As in, the blister-like structure that gonorrhea makes filled with diseased pus was the size of a fucking Jolly Rancher and the poor guy BIT it. I guess it was really dark in the room. He freaked out and started vomiting all over the place when it exploded in his mouth...

He demanded to know what was going on, turns out she had cheated on him at a club like, the first week of college, and fucked some random guy and the stupid bitch had no clue what was wrong with her. She noticed a strange smell though.

So now, Steve is freaking out that he now has gonorrhea of the mouth and God knows what else.
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>>3225117
Delete this
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>The Fuck Quest starter pack
Who /readyforcomfy/ here?

Not pictured: Smash and the new episode of Index.
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>>3226763
Fucking forgot my pic god dammit
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>>3226763
This is the least comfy quest on this board anon. It's filled with conspiracy theories, shadowruns, and panicking. Lots and lots of panicking
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>>3225117
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>>3227290
>implying the last half of Episode 7 wasn't pure comfy
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>>3227802
Didn't we get kidnapped by garbagemen right before that though? And it was all just setup so OP could make us depressed when he takes those comfy times away

Case and point: Alex's smile is never coming back
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>>3227851
Not with that attitude it won't.
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>>3227851
>Alex's smile is never coming b-
That's a lie
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>>3227871
>>3227871
>>3227871



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