Previous threads: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=One%20Piece%20Bounty%20Photographer%20QuestMC Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/XGUgpV79Cover-art kindly provided by our noble artiste, Draw-anon, who generously took time off repainting the Sistine Chapel for us. Look upon our prettyboy protagonist. Look upon his devilish smile and despair.In last thread’s episode of Angsty Self-Reflection Quest, our hero Commander Flashman metaphorically punched a couple of his friendships in the metaphorical balls via actual, non-metaphorical honesty. On the other hand, he’s getting kind of depressed over how socially manipulative he is, so maybe the honesty was a good thing, even though he came out worse for it? WE MAY NEVER KNOW. Aside from that, he now has a shiny new boat of his own, and a mission to escort the wounded Fireplace Abs to a much-needed Doctor. Who happens to be a pirate. And definitely not our hero’s long-lost brother, because that’s far too much of a Shocking Coincidence. Also, Flashy’s currently spilling his (still metaphorical) guts to swordad, who thinks being a Marine is a dumb idea anyway.We now return you to your scheduled idiocy.
>i sort of changed the write-in via QM privilege, enjoy (or not)“... I don't think I could kill someone I didn't think was a bad person,” you admit, trying to imagine the possibility of bringing a sword down on the head of someone like Strawbrat. Sure, he’s a dumbass, and completely irresponsible, but... You grit your teeth against a strangled scream, throwing your hands up. “Fucking dammit, I just wanted to fight pirates, not politics! I started as a photographer! How am I in THIS sort of situation?!”Klaus responds with a tired smirk, because he is, at heart, kind of a dick. “Welcome to the Marines. There’s a reason I quit as soon as I scraped the cash together.” He leans forwards in the seat, almost reluctantly. “If you want to do your job, eventually, you’re going to have to arrest - or kill - someone you feel doesn’t deserve it. You’re lucky you’re under Smo-kun, who’s more understanding than most, but even he’s not gonna be thrilled. Two options - one, you get good enough you don’t HAVE to kill anyone, and can take aaaanyone you face in alive. Two - you go back to non-combat. Or leave entirely, I guess. But you’re not gonna be able to put off dealing with this forever.”>... Do you think I should talk to Smoboss about it?>Um. On a kind of related note... I may sort of want to give Lolonoa a chance to get Wado back. On a scale of ‘bad’ to ‘insanely terrible’, how not-good would that be?>What’s even the point of killing or arresting people who’ve barely done anything wrong? Is the law really that out of touch with... everything?>Other?
>>3594027>What’s even the point of killing or arresting people who’ve barely done anything wrong? Is the law really that out of touch with... everything?Great to be here!
>>3594027>>What’s even the point of killing or arresting people who’ve barely done anything wrong? Is the law really that out of touch with... everything?>>... Do you think I should talk to Smoboss about it?
>>3594027>>What’s even the point of killing or arresting people who’ve barely done anything wrong? Is the law really that out of touch with... everything?
>Is justice wrong?
>>3594027>What’s even the point of killing or arresting people who’ve barely done anything wrong? Is the law really that out of touch with... everything?Ah, heres the kicker young Flashman, Law and Justice are two separate things.
>>3594036>Great to be here!Welcome to my LAIR.>>3594060Become ~an leverutionaly~!
>but muh juhst-iss “What’s even the point of killing or arresting people who’ve barely done anything wrong? Is the law really that out of touch with... everything?”“Yeah,” Klaus says. “Yeah, it is. Trust me, you don’t know half the shit- hell, I told you what happened with me, right? If I hadn’t been an ex-officer, they’d probably have had me killed, too. The Government, the Marines, the prisons, the nobles - it’s all shit, Harry. Rotten to the core. And for every person like you, there’s ten more who are scum, and twenty who just shut up and and nod for a paycheck.”Wow.Uh.You weren’t... really expecting that blunt of an answer.“As for ‘the point’,” he continues, “partly it’s to discourage others from doing the same thing. Partly it’s because of much hassle to look into every pirate and actually give them a fair trial. And partly because of a host of minor reasons, like sadism, or wanting the money from selling some prisoners at Sabaody, or just being a nutjob like Akainu. Justice doesn’t come anywhere into it.”>You’re really taking the shine off being a Marine, but I guess that’s what you wanted.>I think... I need to think about all this stuff.>Tashigi’s kind of... black and white about this.>Other?
>>3594086>>Tashigi’s kind of... black and white about this.
>>3594086>>Tashigi’s kind of... black and white about this.>>I think... I need to think about all this stuff.
>>3594086>You’re really taking the shine off being a Marine, but I guess that’s what you wanted.
>>3594086>>I think... I need to think about all this stuff.
>>3594086>Tashigi’s kind of... black and white about this.>Other? "Klaus, do you think all of this is worth it? Are we the good guys?"
>>3594130>”Are we the good guys?”>notice that your new uniform has skulls on it>life is complicated“Tashigi’s kind of... black and white about this.”“Yeeeeah,” Klaus drawls, looking mildly uncomfortable. “She’s been assigned to Loguetown, working under Smo-kun, so she hasn’t ever really experienced anything that would make her question things, I’m betting. Unless she goes into denial about it, reality’s probably gonna hit her in the face eventually.”You scowl. “That’s - not really good.”“Yeah, everything sucks, boo hoo. Look, there’s no easy, happy way out of this shit - it’s all ingrained at the highest levels. It can’t be changed without burning the entire system down, at least not quickly. Probably not in your lifetime, definitely not in mine.”“So what you’re saying is... I’m pretty much doomed.”Klaus shrugs. “Like I said, unless you go non-combat or quit? Or get assigned somewhere nice and safe, where you don’t ge the luxury of finding out a pirate’s history? Yep.”>Well - thanks for being honest. I think? I mean, I hate it, but thanks.>In the interests of giving my brain a little cool-off time, can we move onto the problem of if I’m a giant asshole?>So this is what the Revolutionaries are really pissed off about.>Other?
>>3594158>Well - thanks for being honest. I think? I mean, I hate it, but thanks.>In the interests of giving my brain a little cool-off time, can we move onto the problem of if I’m a giant asshole?
Forgot to say, my new Quest is up at>>3594107So please excuse changing name. My tripcode is still the same, so go by that if unsure.Heading back now, update laterish.
>>3594158>>Well - thanks for being honest. I think? I mean, I hate it, but thanks.>>In the interests of giving my brain a little cool-off time, can we move onto the problem of if I’m a giant asshole?
>>3594158>So this is what the Revolutionaries are really pissed off about.
>>3594162Are you going to run both at the same time?
>>3594158>>So this is what the Revolutionaries are really pissed off about.>In the interests of giving my brain a little cool-off time, can we move onto the problem of if I’m a giant asshole?>>3594162Running both quests simultaneously?
>>3594195>>3594198I figure the other one will be a lot slower, so hopefully.
>>3594225Just wait opb hits the quest with some crits, the speed will pick up
>>3594252According this guest's crits and Silvers Harry's mediocrity, the next quest should critfail everything.Also I just checked and there's a lot of votes over there, crap.
>>3594252It's a new quest on this board that is also being run by a qm.I'm not that surprised
>>3594158Yay, you got the reference!>Well - thanks for being honest. I think? I mean, I hate it, but thanks.
>>3594158>Well - thanks for being honest. I think? I mean, I hate it, but thanks.>In the interests of giving my brain a little cool-off time, can we move onto the problem of if I’m a giant asshole?On the note of putting it off forever. I mean, two of the admirals basically managed what with "lazy justice" and straight-up "unclear justice". And for the last guy it wasn't so much a question so much as something he mercilessly destroyed for even suggesting pirates are not for murdering.
>>3594158>Well - thanks for being honest. I think? I mean, I hate it, but thanks.
>harry flashmaaaaaan, is a trashmaaaaaan"Well - thanks for being honest. I think? I mean, I hate it, but thanks." You sigh, trying to figure out - no. Screw it. That's enough trying to figure out this crap for one day. How about NOT giving yourself a breakdown? "In the interests of giving my brain a little cool-off time, can we move onto the problem of if I’m a giant asshole?""Right. That's... somehow a tougher issue." Relaxing a little, Klaus lounges back once more, kicking one leg over the other knee and staring at you with condescending mock-sympathy. "Tell your wonderful teacher exactly what the issue is, small emo child.">I dunno if you know or not, but I'm kind of... not entirely as dumb as I sometimes act. And maybe I ham it up to mess with people in really dickish ways. Aaaand now I maybe feel bad about it.>I screw with people. Sometimes lie to them, or keep things from them, because it's funny or make things easier for me. That's not really a 'good' thing, is it.>If being honest gets me into trouble, but messing with other people makes things better for me... How do I weigh up the practical versus moral?>Other?
>I screw with people...
>>3594324>>I dunno if you know or not, but I'm kind of... not entirely as dumb as I sometimes act. And maybe I ham it up to mess with people in really dickish ways. Aaaand now I maybe feel bad about it.Which is a nice way of saying>>I screw with people. Sometimes lie to them, or keep things from them, because it's funny or make things easier for me. That's not really a 'good' thing, is it.
>>3594324>I dunno if you know or not, but I'm kind of... not entirely as dumb as I sometimes act. And maybe I ham it up to mess with people in really dickish ways. Aaaand now I maybe feel bad about it.
>I dunno if you know or not, but I'm kind of... not entirely as dumb as I sometimes act. And maybe I ham it up to mess with people in really dickish ways. Aaaand now I maybe feel bad about it. The whole thing with Fop kinda made me rethink some shit, he will probably never trust me again and I did not even think of how it affected him, just that the whole situation would be funny even if it was at my expense
>>3594324>>I dunno if you know or not, but I'm kind of... not entirely as dumb as I sometimes act. And maybe I ham it up to mess with people in really dickish ways. Aaaand now I maybe feel bad about it.>>I screw with people. Sometimes lie to them, or keep things from them, because it's funny or make things easier for me. That's not really a 'good' thing, is it.
>>3594324>I dunno if you know or not, but I'm kind of... not entirely as dumb as I sometimes act. And maybe I ham it up to mess with people in really dickish ways. Aaaand now I maybe feel bad about it. Sometimes.
Rolled 40 (1d100)rolling for Fop's forgiveness
>>3594324>I screw with people. Sometimes lie to them, or keep things from them, because it's funny or make things easier for me. That's not really a 'good' thing, is it.
>i like that we all get along hereDeep breath, Flashy. And just... let it out. The truth. Rare as that is."I dunno if you know or not, but I'm kind of... not entirely as dumb as I sometimes act. And maybe I ham it up to mess with people in really dickish ways. Aaaand now I maybe feel bad about it."I screw with people. Sometimes lie to them, or keep things from them, because it's funny or make things easier for me. That's not really a 'good' thing, is it."You keep your head down, eyes locked on your legs. Waiting. Horribly uncomfortable. This is just dandy. Yup.You hear cloth rubbing as Klaus must shift slightly, before he sighs. "I mean... there are times it's pretty obvious you're just goofing off or screwing with us, prettyboy." Back from Harry... is that good? Or bad? "That's just... you. And it doesn't hurt anyone. As for when you actually - lie to people, or whatever. Forget how useful or funny it is to you. Are you actually hurting them at all?">... I told Fop about me being a guy. He didn't take it well.>... I let Miss Thursday get away, and told everyone I didn't see her.>... I was never kidnapped by the Xiaolong pirates. I just got drunk and had fun with them. Smoboss still thinks I was captured.>Other?
>>3594474>... I told Fop about me being a guy. He didn't take it well.>... I let Miss Thursday get away, and told everyone I didn't see her.>... I was never kidnapped by the Xiaolong pirates. I just got drunk and had fun with them. Smoboss still thinks I was captured.Confess all your sins to father Klaus.
>>3594474>>... I told Fop about me being a guy. He didn't take it well.>>... I let Miss Thursday get away, and told everyone I didn't see her.>>... I was never kidnapped by the Xiaolong pirates. I just got drunk and had fun with them. Smoboss still thinks I was captured.We should tell him, but maybe we should make sure that nobody is listening. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.
>... I told Fop about me being a guy. He didn't take it well.>... I let Miss Thursday get away, and told everyone I didn't see her. She was the one who first taught me how to use the bladed fans before I ever knew about Baroque Works>... I was never kidnapped by the Xiaolong pirates. I just got drunk and had fun with them. Smoboss still thinks I was captured.
>>3594474>>... I let Miss Thursday get away, and told everyone I didn't see her.
>>3594474>>... I told Fop about me being a guy. He didn't take it well.>>... I let Miss Thursday get away, and told everyone I didn't see her.>>... I was never kidnapped by the Xiaolong pirates. I just got drunk and had fun with them. Smoboss still thinks I was captured.I'm also on board for checking for listeners.
>>3594474>... I told Fop about me being a guy. He didn't take it well.>... I let Miss Thursday get away, and told everyone I didn't see her.>... I was never kidnapped by the Xiaolong pirates. I just got drunk and had fun with them. Smoboss still thinks I was captured.
>>3594474>>3594508Supporting the paranoia, don't want another Robin.
Hooooooly crap, you guys are really going all out on this confession thing, huh?Anything else you guys wanna confess to him while you're spilling your guts like they've been sliced open?
>>3594474>>3594508Supporting
>giving Claus that much powerHe's going to make Harry train until forever..>>3594474>>... I told Fop about me being a guy. He didn't take it well.
>>3594540>We kinda want to give the Wado Ichimonji back to Zolo>We really miss Noodle>We get a weird feeling in our chest when we look at Sunglasses
>>3594508>We should tell him, but maybe we should make sure that nobody is listening. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.+1 paranoid>>3594540Maybe add explanationFop it his own fault for making assumption. And it was actually funny that he thought we were women.We promised to let Miss Thursday go.Xiaolong was us trying to do our job and failing.>Anything else you guys wanna confess to him while you're spilling your guts like they've been sliced open?What else could we drop on him?>We tricked Hat and Sunglasses into joining marines by making them believe we were abused.I think from everything we done this one is most fucked up.
>>3594567We tricked Fop into throwing away his entire life for a dumb joke. I agree with the Hat and Sunglasses thing though.
>>3594561>We get a weird feeling in our chest when we look at Sunglasses[suspicious squinting]OKAY, SO>Tell Klaus about wanting Zolo to have Wado back YES/NO?>Tell Klaus about tricking Hat and Sunglasses with casual lies about abuse YES/NO?Oh, and roll me a best of 3, d100, for paranoid Haki activation.
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>3594613Yes to Hat and Sunglasses, Yes to Zolo
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>3594613
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>3594613>>Tell Klaus about wanting Zolo to have Wado back YES/NO?>>Tell Klaus about tricking Hat and Sunglasses with casual lies about abuse YES/NO?Yes to both.
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>3594613>YesBecause most anon actually want to give it back even if I don't >YesThey did most of the job themselves to be fair, as with most of our lies.
>>3594613I'm dumb and forgot to vote>Yes>Yes
>>3594613>Yes>Yes
>>3594593>We tricked Fop into throwing away his entire life for a dumb joke.We did it because he was an asshole.We let Fop think we are a women for a dumb joke
>>3594661I'm not saying he wasn't an asshole, I just don't think the punishment fit the crime.
>just basically tell Klaus everything you've ever done wrong>now you will get coal for Christmas, surprise, he's Santa Klaus>you activated Haki, Abs is still in he galley and Hat and Sunglasses are doing something up on deckYou look up, fingers tightening on your bedsheets. Klaus is... staring at you, not unkindly, waiting. You didn't know he could do patience like that.So you open your mouth and tell him... everything.That you've told Fop about being a guy and he hasn't taken it well. That you let Miss Thursday get away, and said you never saw her. That the Xiaolong pirates... well.And then about Wado. How you want to - how you want Zoro to have it back. That it's HIS, properly, not just some stolen pirate loot he picked up. And that you tricked Hat and Sunglasses into thinking that -Yeah.It all just... comes crashing out, tumbling like a verbal waterfall of 'oh-shit-did-I-really-say/do-that?', and you've never been more horribly aware of the shit you've pulled, the kind of stuff that would have you side-eyeing or recoiling from someone if they'd done it.Apart from slightly widening eyes, Klaus doesn't react as everything comes out, before you come winding down to a stumbling, painful halt, suddenly aware of how tight you're gripping the cotton sheets and how loud your heart is pounding."Well," Klaus finally says. "Shit."You stifle a bark of panicked laughter, fingers twitching."That's." He pauses, then runs a hand through his hair, blinking still-wide eyes. "I did NOT expect half of that. I wasn't even sure you were capable of lying to Smo-kun, but here we are."You bite your lip. "This is all... bad. I know.""Well, it's definitely not good, but..." Klaus hesitates, obviously thinking. "Doing a few bad things doesn't make you a bad person, prettyboy. Admittedly, these are kind of... quite a few bad things in a short space of time, and some of them are actually kind of serious. I didn't except yu to commit treason for a while longer, so congrats. But - the stuff with Prince Flouncy and your lackeys are just really bad jokes that became something worse. And as for Roronoa... That kind of ties in with our previous discussion. But you realize how bad it would be if you actually gave it back, right?">I - I mean, lying about the Xiaolongs and Miss Thursday... those aren't REAL treason, are they? Not serious stuff?>I know. But I think I have to give it back anyway.>I just... I can't tell Smoboss any of this. Or Tashigi, or... Or anyone. But I had to tell someone. Should I not have told you?>Other?
>>3594731>I know. But I think I have to give it back anyway.>I just... I can't tell Smoboss any of this. Or Tashigi, or... Or anyone. But I had to tell someone. Should I not have told you?
>>3594731>I just... I can't tell Smoboss any of this. Or Tashigi, or... Or anyone. But I had to tell someone. Should I not have told you?Man, Marines need therapists.
>>3594731>i'm not going to give it to him... he has to take it.
>>3594731>>Yup. I probably should have kept my mouth shut, huh?
>>3594754support
>>3594731>>I just... I can't tell Smoboss any of this. Or Tashigi, or... Or anyone. But I had to tell someone. Should I not have told you?>>3594752That's what Absolute Justice is for anon, good ol' therapeutic violence
>>3594731>>i'm not going to give it to him... he has to take it.>I just... I can't tell Smoboss any of this. Or Tashigi, or... Or anyone. But I had to tell someone. Should I not have told you?
>>3594774>>3594760changing to this
>>3594774+1
>other quest is running faster than i thought, will slow it down once character creation is finished anywayYou have to correct the Zor- Zolo thing. "I'm not going to give it to him... he has to take it. And I just... I can't tell Smoboss any of this. Or Tashigi, or... Or anyone. But I had to tell someone. Should I not have told you?"Klaus sighs, but your Haki tells you he feels a little relieved about Wado. Overall though, he feels... worried. Surprised. Like he's thinking hard. Tired. And - kind of sorry for you? "You... I'm glad you told me. I know it can't have been easy, so... thank you for the trust." He pauses, shifting a little awkwardly. "I - I don't think this makes you a bad person, kid. Believe me, I've known bad people, and... as long as you're honestly regretful, and trying to fix things, then..." He trails off. "... screw it. Want a hug?">...... Yes.>...... I'm okay, thanks.>...... (just throw yourself at him and hug)>Other?
>>3594908>>...... (just throw yourself at him and hug)
>>3594908>>...... (just throw yourself at him and hug)Shit free hugs.
>>3594908>>...... (just throw yourself at him and hug)i'm surprised QM is still awake.
>>3594908>...... (just throw yourself at him and hug)Also whisper no homo so he doesn’t think your gay
>>3594908>...... (just throw yourself at him and hug)
>>3594969Anon, please. Flashman is firmly weaponsexual. If presented with a room full of naked women, Flashy would go "cool." and then start drooling over the nearest weapon-like object.
>>3594908>...... (just throw yourself at him and hug)Should we roll for dad? You know to make it super awkward?
>>3594994....... hm.>Roll for dad?>NO, IT'S AWKWARD ENOUGH
>>3595006>Roll
>>3595006>>NO, IT'S AWKWARD ENOUGH
>>3595006>>Roll
>>3594989So does that mean he would try to circumcise himself with Cut-chan and consider that the equivalent of having sex with her?
>>3595006>>NO, IT'S AWKWARD ENOUGHYAMEROOOO
>>3595036nut in scabbards, store swords in said scabbards
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>3595036>>3595056....... :( y u say disBecause this is a requested roll, I'm going to lower DC to 80 to slip up. Just my roll.
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>3595074DAMMIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTWriting for just hug. BUT ONE DAY!(... DC 90 for swordad slipping up.)
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>3595074>>3595078For them to develop father son bond without words
>>3595088Jobberfist's Aura is too strong.
Rolled 93 (1d100)Never rolled before,
>>3595111Oh yeah that roll was for flash man getting an erection during the hug
>giv hugHe shifts again, your Haki pinging you with awkwardness and uncertainty, but no actual reluctance.So you give up on repressing your urge to curl up into a ball, and instead hurl yourself across, slamming into him like one of Garp's cannonballs, vaguely aware of the loud wheeze as you hit- uh, hug him, almost knocking the chair over before he regains balance.Yeeeeep. This is a good hug, you decide, from your place wrapped around a now confused (and bemused, and amused, and other such words) ex-Marine.Slowly, he brings his own arms around you in turn, a little more confident than last time, but still careful. "... So that's a yes.""Nhgmfhth," you mumble into his shoulder. He tentatively pats your back, feeling even more amused. And weirdly smug/proud/pleased. Huh.>(string this out as long as you reasonably can. try not to sniffle)>...... This is totally manly, just so you know. I'm winning Masculinity Points with this. I'm growing a beard, right now.>......... You're not gonna tell anyone about the things I've done, right?>Other?>>3595111I like yo->>3595113..... never mind. Keep it to the lewd mental fanfiction along with the rest of you degenerates lewding your family, please.
>>3595122>>......... You're not gonna tell anyone about the things I've done, right?
>>3595122>>...... This is totally manly, just so you know. I'm winning Masculinity Points with this. I'm growing a beard, right now.
>>3595122>......... You're not gonna tell anyone about the things I've done, right?
>>3595122>...... This is totally manly, just so you know. I'm winning Masculinity Points with this. I'm growing a beard, right now.
>this is definitely not a roll to call him dadThis is nice.But - there's still something to worry about. After what feels like an eternity of totally manly hugging, you offer up, "You're not gonna tell anyone about the things I've done, right?"You can practically hear the eye-roll. "Of course I'm not going to tell anyone, dumbass. Funny as it would be to tell Smo-kun you tricked your minions into thinking he was abusing you, I'm not totally without decency. Mostly." He pats your back again. "There, there, stupid emo child. There, there.""... How do you make comfort so mocking?""Talent." He doesn't push you away, though, so you count it as a win. "You gonna be okay, kid? Anything else you wanna talk about?">(Anything to say?)>No, I- I think I'm done for now.Last updaaaaaaate for tonight, thanks for playing Angst Quest! Meanwhile in Klaus-land, he's pretty sure he's got one up on Smoboss right now.
>>3595256>So I met this really nice girl...>No, I- I think I'm done for now.
>>3595256>>No, I- I think I'm done for now.
>>3595256>>3595274+1 Gotta fuck with him a little.
>>3595274I like this, we need something to lossen the tension a bit.
>>3595274This, lessen the tension.
>>3595274I'll support this.
>>3595256Say this to him about your love for this woman>My love for her is wider than the largest river of yogurt, to her my heart is an open wound waiting to be probed, My tears of love are like a sun which has known no eclipse. I will love her with the frenzy of a thousand chimps! My passion is strong, Stong! Just like my shlong, Her only option will be to play along! Keep your arms inside this train our destination is pleasure and pain. Her scent to me is like mustard gas I’ll carve her name upon my ass! her name makes my blood this the sight of her makes my heart jizz!”
>>3595836Is... is this some sort of godless reference? I don't get it. I'm just quietly horrified.
>>3595836What the actual fuck did I just read?
>>3595836This is a reference, I'm sure. To what, I know not.
>>3595836This is bad civilization.
>>3595836
>>3595836Voting for this
>>3595836fuck it I'll vote for this
RL issues, no updates today, sorry.
>>3597232It's all good, QM. You do you, booboo.
>>3597234heeeey booboo! look at all of these pick-a-nick baskets!
>>3595836Unsupport.
>>3595836Let's not, please.Autism is funny in small dose but it's just annoying when overpushed.
Just realized.Harry Flashman:>Has sincere discussion with surrogate father figure about how messing with people is bad.Also Harry Flashman:>Immediately starts messing with surrogate father figure.
>>3599098The Voices™ (aka us) are weird like that
>>3595836... Seasus smite this filth.>do you know how condoms work, little boyThe only thing left... is to fuck with Klaus. You try to keep your mouth from curving into a smile. "So I met this really nice girl... No, I- I think I'm done for now."For a brief instant, you feel Klaus' loose hug tighten slightly as his arms twitch, his emotions flaring with PANIC before suspicion-realization-amusement grows in the space of a few seconds."I'd loooove to hear more about this girl," he coos, as the horrid truth dawns on you that Klaus can use Observation too, and is probably perfectly aware of when you're fucking with him. "But first, have you had the talk? See, when a man and a woman lo-""NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--" you screech, hitting your cabin door at approximately four hundred miles an hour, "--OOOOOOOOOOOOO--" Ouch, falling, tumbling, wall, ceiling, floor, wall, ow. "... OOOOOOO."Dazed, you stare up at the wooden ceiling, listening to Klaus' distant cackles and the slow crash as your cabin door falls off it's hinges."Yeeeah," Fireplace says, peering down at you, a mug held in his good arm. "That was weird.">.... I need to make it perfectly clear that I know how sex works.>.... I'm gonna be honest, that's pretty normal for us.>Just so you know, Garp will probably be pissed off if you murder me.>Other?
>>3599254>.... I'm gonna be honest, that's pretty normal for us.
>>3599254>"You are weird!"
>>3599254>>.... I'm gonna be honest, that's pretty normal for us.
>".... I'm gonna be honest," you say, still staring up at the ceiling, now with the addition of a pirate's head from one angle, "that's pretty normal for us."Fireplace shrugs, looking fairly blasé about the whole thing. "I always knew Marines were crazy.""Klaus isn't a Marine, he's retired," you correct, holding up a finger. "Now he's... a squatting, stowaway, sadist swordhobo.""That's... actually weirder," Fireplace mumbles, giving you a look that many people have before; slightly disturbed, with a hint bewilderment.You scowl and push yourself up, Klaus' sniggering finally trailing off. You're gonna make HIM repair the door. Actually - you're not sure you trust him with a hammer and nails... "Yeah, you're right. He's weird. And awful. And gives terrible hugs.""I didn't ask. Look, I just wanted to know where my quarters were." Fireplace sighs, and you realize how tired he looks. There are healing bruises and scrapes over him, you can tell from this distance, and the loose shirt he's wearing probably covers more. You can't imagine him wearing it otherwise, from his bounty posters.>(Point out one of the cabins. There should be a couple free, tiny as they are...)>(Try to make peace, in hopes of not dying a fiery death over the next couple of days.)>Other?
>>3599277>(Point out one of the cabins. There should be a couple free, tiny as they are...)
>>3599277>>(Try to make peace, in hopes of not dying a fiery death over the next couple of days.)
>>3599277>>(Try to make peace, in hopes of not dying a fiery death over the next couple of days.)We want to be less of an asshole, right?
>>3599277>(Try to make peace, in hopes of not dying a fiery death over the next couple of days.)
>>3599277>>(Point out one of the cabins. There should be a couple free, tiny as they are...)
>>3599277>try to make peace You want to see a photo of your brother and his dumbass friends?
>>3599277>>3599315Supporting
>>3599315Supporting
>>3599315Yeah sure, I'm down to share photos.
>>3599315Why not, support.
>>3599315Support.I mean, it's not like you can burn lightning, but still.
>>3599315Support.
>mfw my phone breaks for nearly two hoursGosh, that was a fun series of heart attacks.Writing for photos, if I don’t post assume my phone finally died.
>>3599404I bet you have an iphone.If you do, go check out louis rossman's youtube channel to find out why you're the biggest dumb of all. If not, then you're truly just unfortunate. But, we already knew that.
>do you recognize the moron in this photo???“So, hey,” you decide, levering yourself off the floor. You are a mature professional, and as such, you can make peace with this highly official pirate (and have him not murder you horribly). Right? “Wanna see a photo of your brother and his dumbass friends?”Fireplace Abs pauses with his mug (coffee, by the the smell) halfway to his mouth. “You-? Why do you have a picture like that?”“HE’S A STALKER,” Klaus helpfully yells from your cabin.“I’m a ~professional~ stalker,” you correct, defending your job as you hold your camera out, flicking through the image gallery. You should probably clear some of these out now they’ve been officially copied over. “By which I mean I do the whole bounty photography thing, so I get paid for it.”Fireplace looks with evident interest as you show him images of his unfortunately-intellected brother, along with the other lunatics (and Doctor Cutie. He’s not a lunatic, he’s a cutie. Obviously.) and Merry (also not a lunatic, just... a ship. That’s normal.). “Huh. So first of all, this means I got captured by a photographer?”DANGER. DANGER. DANGER.“I’m also a badass,” you humbly explain.“HE BEATS UP ROOFS,” Klaus assists.“Oh, look, it’s the whole crew!” You quickly show Fireplace a group shot, wondering if it’s possible to discreetly electrocute someone from down a corridor. You’re willing to find out, for science. “How exciting! Let’s ignore Klaus!”“Uh-huh.” Thankfully, his interest in his brother seems to have cooled down his general pissiness. And secondly, how did you convince them to let you take their pictures?”>I infiltrated them as a fellow pirate. Mwa ha ha.>....... Classified.>I just offered to take their photos. They seemed happy about it!>Other?>>3599415It’s a Samsung, but I know sweet F all about phones anyway.
>>3599437>I infiltrated them as a fellow pirate. Mwa ha ha.
>I just offered to take their photos. They seemed happy about it!>Honestly I kinda like your brothers crew, even if Nico scares me a little (shudder)
>>3599437>I just offered to take their photo, they seemed happy about it...also they kidnapped me while I was blackout drunk and in costume,that was like the 2n-4th time that happened?Huh
>>3599437>>I just offered to take their photos. They seemed happy about it!
>>3599455SupportHim knowing we are an idiot will either completely redeem us in his eyes, or make him hate us with the fury of a thousand...Fire fists?
>>3599437>>3599455I'll support this lol
>>3599455Support
>>3599455Voting to have flashman sensual rubbing his right nipple as he says this
Holding off on updates for a while, RL shit again.
>>3599495Take your time, BP
>>3599455supporting
>>3599495It's okay my dudey. Take as much time as you need.
>>3599437>>3599455Support.>>3599465He already realized he was captured by a non-combatant. Now he'll realize he was captured by an idiot non-combatant. He had the opportunity to pass it off as just an act we do based on how badass we were when capturing him but not anymore. Nothing but SHAME for the fireman.
>no nipple-rubbing plz & thnxYou shrug, flicking through. “I just offered to take their photo, they seemed happy about it... also they kidnapped me while I was blackout drunk and disguised as a pirate, that was like the 2nd-4th time that happened? Kinda strange.”Fireplace stops looking at the camera with interest, and instead turns a gaze on you that says I Am Judging You And Finding You Wanting. “You... dress up as a pirate a lot?”“What?! No! I was disguised as a pirate because it was Mocktow- not important. I just mean I get kidnapped a lot! The Xiaolong pirates, Lolonoa Zolo—“ Is he aware that Lolonoa ticked off the Whitebeards? He wouldn’t be, right? Riiiiiiight? Subject change! “I totally rocked the pirate look, by the way.”“I rocked the Marine uniform,” Fireplace says, saccharine sweet, “until you shoved a gun to my chest.”>Ha, your disguise was terrible! I knew you right from the start!>Look, can you really blame me for doing my job? If you’d caught an enemy breaking someone out on the Moby Whatsit, what would YOU have done?>Yeah, it looked great, you should have been a Marine for our superior fashion sense. But you went for ‘stripper’ instead.>Other?I may have a job... maybe... not getting my hopes up.
>>3599602>>Look, can you really blame me for doing my job? If you’d caught an enemy breaking someone out on the Moby Whatsit, what would YOU have done?Got my fingers crossed for you QM~
>>3599602>Look, can you really blame me for doing my job? If you’d caught an enemy breaking someone out on the Moby Whatsit, what would YOU have done?Good on you spiboss, you can't be disappointed if you expect less than nothing to begin with. It's really a positive outlook if you think about it. Literally anything good happening is "better than expected"!
>>3599602Look, can you really blame me for doing my job? If you’d caught an enemy breaking someone out on the Moby Whatsit, what would YOU have done?>I loved the moustache btw, I'm hoping to one day grow my own magnificent facial trophy
>>3599602>Look, can you really blame me for doing my job? If you’d caught an enemy breaking someone out on the Moby Whatsit, what would YOU have done?
>>3599602>Good times
>>3599602>>Look, can you really blame me for doing my job? If you’d caught an enemy breaking someone out on the Moby Whatsit, what would YOU have done?
>Yeah, it looked great, you should have been a Marine for our superior fashion sense. But you went for ‘stripper’ instead.This dear god this
>>3599602>Look, can you really blame me for doing my job? If you’d caught an enemy breaking someone out on the Moby Whatsit, what would YOU have done?Sending positive energy your way QM
>>3599602>>Yeah, it looked great, you should have been a Marine for our superior fashion sense. But you went for ‘stripper’ instead.
>>3599602I can't believe BPQM's Den Den is fucking deadAlso>Yeah, it looked great, you should have been a Marine for our superior fashion sense. But you went for ‘stripper’ instead.
>>3599602>Yeah, it looked great, you should have been a Marine for our superior fashion sense. But you went for ‘stripper’ instead.
Test 7
>>3602058Fiiiiiiiiiiiiinally. Updates later, Seasus.
>>3602058you pass
>>3602058>>3602063Oof. IP banned out and about again?
>>3602058If you're banned on mobile just go airplane mode for 10 seconds then try again Always works
>>3602077I kept getting banned IPs. How many of them are there?!>it truly was a magnificent moustacheGaaaaaaaah, why is he so hung up on this?! All you did was prevent him breaking out a prisoner, arrest him, get him to betray his entire family and instead serve his enem- oh, right. Still. "Look, can you really blame me for doing my job? If you’d caught an enemy breaking someone out on the Moby Whatsit, what would YOU have done?"That... shuts Abs up, mouth clacking shut in disgruntlement as he obviously tries to figure out a response. "That... I..." Yeah, he's got nothing. "Even if it's not logical, you can't expect me to be happy about it!""It's not like I'm asking for a thank-you letter, just a little... I dunno, perspective?" You point down the hall. "But if you want to work some aggression off, you can beat up Klaus.""I'D KICK HIS ASS, PRETTYBOY."Fireplace rolls his eyes, but at least he just looks annoyed rather than about to kill you. "I get your point. And it's not like I'm ever going to forgive you for ruining the best thing that ever happened to me, but I guess you maybe deserve a less painful death than the one I was planning for you."".... How painful WERE you planning?""........ Very.""............... You didn't have a plan, did you?"His eyes narrow. "Just show me where I'm sleeping.""OVERBOARD.""Offer's still open to beat Klaus up," you hint.>Just show him him to his quarters and then get the Skyraaaaaazor underway.>Anything else to say?>Other?
>>3602373>Just show him him to his quarters and then get the Skyraaaaaazor underway.
>>3602373>Just show him him to his quarters and then get the Skyraaaaaazor underway.>Let him know to ask if he needs anything. Might as well try to be a good host.
>>3602373>>Just show him him to his quarters and then get the Skyraaaaaazor underway.
>>3602373>Just show him him to his quarters and then get the Skyraaaaaazor underway.I love Klaus.
>>3602373>>Just show him him to his quarters and then get the Skyraaaaaazor underway.>>Let him know to ask if he needs anything. Might as well try to be a good host.Haha, we took him away from his family :)
>>3602436Klaus is like a raccoon. He might look cute and loveable at first glance (he doesn't), but he loves trash and ambushes you in the dark to gnaw your eyeballs out of your face.I've never seen a raccoon in real life, so I'm just going to assume that's accurate.>>3602447Brutal... :(I'm gonna make Klaus adopt him, he's your brother now, too bad, so sad.
>>3602373>>Just show him him to his quarters and then get the Skyraaaaaazor underway.>>Let him know to ask if he needs anything. Might as well try to be a good host.
>>3602459>I'm gonna make Klaus adopt himCan't wait for epic showdown between Whitebeard and Klaus to decide who is Aces real dad.>inb4 they gain mutual respect for each other and decide to baby Fireplace together
Having an early night, sorry. It's been a long day.
>>3602459>Our brotherIf that happens I will go take a walk to 7/11 and asphyxiate every stray cat I see on the way there.
>>3603118Too late, Klaus has filed the papers and locked Fireplace up in a cupboard until the Stockholm Syndrome kicks in.>you already have a brother with terrible tattoos, do you really need anotherFireplace looks worryingly like he's considering taking you up on that offer, so you use the power of Subject Change again."Okay! Sleeping! Right!" You motion him to follow you down the corridor, to where a couple of small cabins are built in. They're cramped, and have hammocks rather than beds, but Abs doesn't suggest that'll be an issue for his arm, so you decide it's fine. "Ta da! Lemme know if you need anything - reasonable, I mean, not 'a million beri and a pony' - and I'm sure we can handle it. Gonna be honest, I'll probably just make the minions fetch it."Fireplace squints at you. "Minions?""Eh, Hat and Sunglasses - you'll see 'em around, they're infantry." You neglect to mention that one is a Logia. "I'm gonna go help get the ship ready for our little medical tourist jaunt... you good here?"The dead-eyed stare says no, but his voice says, "... Fine," so you'll take that as a win."HEY, THERE'S A DRAFT IN YOUR CABIN, PRETTYBOY!"You grit your teeth, and head up on deck, to try and do your job.Everything. Will be. Fiiiiiiiiine.>Roll 1d100, best of 3Let's see if your luck's still shit...
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3604285
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>3604285
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>3604285It's not shit i promise!
>>3604295Reeeeeeally? :)
>>3604289>>3604291>>3604295>>3604301Mediocre rolls on sea I'm not surprised
>>3604301:(No...
Rolled 4, 98, 97, 22, 94, 89, 72, 87, 6, 26 = 595 (10d100)Just going to check some rolls to see if the Dice Gods have abandoned you.
>>3604309lol, went extremes and ended average
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3604309Clearly it's because I've been absent.
>>3604328Holy shit lol what a wasted roll
>>3604328WTF?!
>>3604328... well the universe is right once again
>>3604328Fucking what
>>3604328...................Situation normal, move along, citizens. Nothing to see here.Seriously, you're a mod, aren't you?! You've gotta be...
>>3604328How do you keep doing that? It's ludicrous.
>>3604347At this point I'm honestly starting to believe I'm actually the avatar of the god of luck or something.Either that or I really have been signing devil contracts for luck in my sleep.
>>3604328Have you tried gambling irl?
>>3604355Real gambling? Nope.Gambling for tickets/points/whatever at arcades and shit? Yeah.I wasn't very good at it, surprisingly enough.
>>3604361its all concentrated here, you only get super lucky for the purposes of making spider plans go to hell
>>3604364I'd believe it.
>can't wait to try some dice rolls in demon quest and see what the standard luck is there. 52 + your seamanship bonus so mehGetting the ship ready goes... okay. Not great, but not bad. The Skyrazor's ready to go within the hour, which is tolerable considering her size and how short-handed you are.Now there's an extra person though, you feel better about sailing through the night; if Abs complains about taking a watch, he can suck it. You'll be fit enough for light training tomorrow, and you want to feel awake enough for it.Checking the Pose you were supplied, you set course and sail away, to... a pirate. One you're not meant to arrest, kill, or even take photos of. Great.You definitely won't be arrested for this one day. As a Logia, you're way too valuable. Right?Screw it, that's a problem for future you.Two days to get to the Surgeon of Death. Two days on a small ship with Klaus, Fireplace, and your two minions. Just think of it like a vacation, Flashy!>Roll 2d100 (that's TWO dice), best of 3First is for any random events tonight, second is not slipping up with your Logia that you barely have any control over>>3604364>>3604365>8888(
Rolled 29, 26 = 55 (2d100)>>3604376
Rolled 58, 61 = 119 (2d100)im gonna steal some of OPB luck
Rolled 16, 23 = 39 (2d100)>>3604376inb42 nat 100
>>3604379Apparently you didn't steal enough.
Rolled 1 (1d3)No encounters tonight, but the Logia DC was 70...>Roll 1d100, first 3, for severity of sparkiness1 worst of2 middle3 best
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>3604387Oof.
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>3604387>Worst ofoh boy
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>3604387
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>3604387>worst of 3Oof.
Rolled 10 (1d100)ouch
>>3604390I can't believe everyone is fucking dead.
>>3604390oh no
>>3604390Somebody kill me
>>3604390And that's how the ship exploded, beginning the legend of Sparky Boom Boom Man.
Rolled 1 (1d3)>>3604395OH YESOkay,1 - goodbye skyrazor lol (potential deaths)2 - accidentally out your sparkiness to abs like the shitty secret-keeper you are3 - where da fuq
>>3604404I CAN'T BELIEVE EVERYONE IS FUCKING DEAD.
>>36044043 logias in a boat and it jsut went down, we castaways now?
>>3604404>1 - goodbye skyrazor lol (potential deaths)The dice are not kind today.
>>3604404Please tell me there is a crit holder here.
>>3604404What have I doneI'm a monster
Rolled 3, 1 = 4 (2d3)>>3604404OH BOYSo that was a nice ship you had... And crew...>>3604407Pretty much, this is hilarious. Oooooh boy. Okay>Roll 2d100 (TWO dice), best of 3
Rolled 3, 96 = 99 (2d100)>>3604416RNGesus, I pray to you in these dire times.Provide us the rolls we need to not fucking die.
Rolled 90, 100 = 190 (2d100)>>3604416Continuing roll...
Rolled 97, 3 = 100 (2d100)>>3604416There's no way I can make this worse
Rolled 79, 95 = 174 (2d100)>>3604416
>>3604416>>3604417>>3604419What the actual shit is going on right now?
Rolled 88, 66 = 154 (2d100)>>3604416
>>3604419...
Rolled 60, 78 = 138 (2d100)>>3604416
>>3604419This is either very good, very bad, or very very silly.
>>3604419did we figure out how to fly with our fruit and save everyone?
Rolled 23 (1d100)Okay, so Sunglasses got 90, he's fine. Klaus got 100... I'll figure something out.You and Abs are fine as well, however I forgot to roll for Hat, so...
Holy fuck, I look away from the thread for a moment and everything went to shit at escape velocity.
>>3604436I can't believe Hat died.Except Klaus' 100 saves him, so oh well.
>>3604447Nice.
>>3604447Harryson Crusoe (and Co.) Adventures!Maybe we'll get Hat a Logia on whatever island we end up with>inb4 we end up on the island we were going to anyways
>>3604447Klaus has officially earned Best Dad status.
Rolled 2 (1d3)>>3604457Having blown up your boat, you have officially earned Worst son status.Okay, hopefully last roll.>Roll 1d100, first 31 best of2 middle3 worst ofLower roll means your Eternal Pose is screwed and you'll end up in the wrong place.Higher means you will get there, just... slower.
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>3604466
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>3604466
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>3604466
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>3604466
Rolled 90 (1d100)So... how much of this incident is because the QM's real life issues and subsequent hiatus left the Dice Gods without their favorite chewtoy for a while?
>>3604480nah this is punishment cause some people were talking about lewding Ta-sis during the mini hiatus
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>3604480>>3604484...Rolling to see if this is due to people talking about lewding the protag's sister in the other quest.
>>3604486Actually, that makes sense since nobody's actually done that yet. I just misremembered something.
>>3604486It's official, QM. You can never, ever stop, or else the Dice Gods will track you down once they get bored enough.
I'm gonna go to sleep now.Try not to die.
>>360446747... not good, not terrible. Goodbye, Skyrazor. Goodbye plans for a klaubauterman. It was not to be...>47Night falls. Like a heavy object. A really, incredibly heavy object. Fortunately, the weather is surprisingly clear, and Sunglasses is wide awake and ready to keep the ship on course, which means - after giving him the Pose - you head belowdecks with the others, nominally to sleep (in your still doorless cabin), but really to sneak in some Logia practice.Hey, it's not like you can try it out in public, right?With your cabin door off, you're not risking Abs or Hat waking up, coming into the corridor and maybe hearing or seeing something. Instead, you creep off to the storeroom, carefully closing the door behind you after lighting a small oil lantern hanging on the wall.In the immediate aftermath of the ensuing events, you can't quite remember what happened, though the memories do return - while you're in the water, clinging desperately to some wood. Driftwood. That used to be part of the Skyrazor.You... lit your arm up with electricity, th remember that. Then you tried... shooting sparks. Then controlling larger volts when you were confident in that. And then...Well, apparently the storeroom had oil for the lamps... And likely gunpowder, considering how quickly and loudly everything went... boom.The good news is that you'd somehow managed to turn yourself totally to lightning even as the eruption of flame began. Which was cool! Full-body transformation! First try success!It was just a shame it wasn't in time to stop the ringing in your ears, as you stare up at the star-speckled sky.... Motherfucker.You blink, swallowing the awful taste of seawater and blood, body feeling heavy and paraly- Right. Devil Fruit. Anchor. Right.Hearing slowly coming back to you, you twist your head, arms still clinging to the wood. You can hear Sunglasses over there, and can see him dragging someone else onto a larger chunk of debris, enough to tentatively be called a raft.Hopefully it's Hat, shit, fuck - memories start trickling in as you remember exactly why that explosion occurred. Yep. That was you. Good job, dipshit.Trying to activate Observation does nothing; you're too cold, too soaked, too panicked, and the control needed slips out of your grip, even as a rolling wave nearly pulls you under.Hmm.This is... not good."WHO'S ALIVE," you yell, for want of anything better to do."ME AN' FIREFIST," is Sunglasses' response from not too far, which sucks, because you'd have rather he'd grabbed Hat."I got your other minion!" Oh thank fuck, there's Klaus, and presumably Hat. You hadn't even considered the possibility of Klaus being injured, but he's probably fine. You can sort of see him dragging Hat over to the debris, helping him on before tossing... objects? Metal ones, by the sound of OH SHIT THEY'RE HIS SWORDS(1/2)
You grit your teeth and try feel the weight on your uniform. You don't THINK anything's missing - and Mr Speedy's already evacuated your pocket and is now clinging to your sleeve, shivering and glaring at you - but fuck. Fuuuuuuck. Is your camera okay? You don't THINK 'water-resistant' really handles this.Fuck."Hold on," Klaus yells over at you, kind of pointlessly. You weren't planning on letting go.It's cold.It's wet.And the main thing you're worried about as Klaus tugs you off your own debris is just who's going to manage to murder you when they find out you're the one who blew up the ship.Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.>WHO KNOWS, ETERNAL MYSTERY THERE>Let Klaus know, quietly, what a useless dumbass you are.>Other?>>3604480OHOHOHOHOHOHO~~
>>3604534>>Let Klaus know, quietly, what a useless dumbass you are.We're going to get grounded. Get it? Because we're lightning.
>>3604534>>WHO KNOWS, ETERNAL MYSTERY THERE
>>3604534>>WHO KNOWS, ETERNAL MYSTERY THEREThe better part of valour is NEVER LETTING THIS GET OUT HOLY SHIT. If the court martial didn't kill us the increased supervision would.Nobody wants a helicopter sword hobo.
>>3604534>>WHO KNOWS, ETERNAL MYSTERY THEREFOR LEGAL AND COWARD REASONS WE SAY NOTHING
>>3604545>Nobody wants a helicopter sword hobo.Are you sure?Also, damn, I hope no-one was sleeping naked.
>>3604534>>WHO KNOWS, ETERNAL MYSTERY THEREThis is punishment for being around Abs. His Jobbing is contagious
>>3604548Garp wears a hat, at least. So he's definitely technically not naked.
>>3604552.......... Garp...... isn't there.
>>3604534>>Let Klaus know, quietly, what a useless dumbass you are.
Hey OPIf you haven't already spent it, feel free to do whatever with the crit bonus I didn't use.
>>3604534>WHO KNOWS, ETERNAL MYSTERY THEREOne day we will tell that story and everyone will laugh this day is not today
>>3604534>WHO KNOWS, ETERNAL MYSTERY THEREI'd rather we tell him later on land.
>>3604534>WHO KNOWS, ETERNAL MYSTERY THEREThis one? This one goes to the grave with us. Chalk it up to shit happens sometimes.
On my way home, by the way, no update for a while.
>>3604534>WHO KNOWS, ETERNAL MYSTERY THEREDAMN CRIMINAL SCUM AT IT AGAIN
Its obvious now, we are not grown up enough to own a ship yet.Commander we may be, but only in title.
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>3604608IT WAS THAT FILTH, LOLONOA>keep it secret, keep it safeTeeth chattering, you keep your silence as Klaus tugs you over to the makeshift raft. Good thing he knew you were a Logia, although hopefully the others won't wonder why you didn't just swim over yourself. More importantly, he's probably unable to use Observation right now, or he at least isn't sensing just how guilty you are.Of blowing up your own fucking ship.You're taking this to your grave. Klaus could look you in the eye and demand you tell him the truth, and you'll still keep your damn mouth shut."-shitty night -" Klaus is ranting, apparently having the ability to mouth off in fury despite tugging a dead weight Commander through (thankfully not rough) seas. You can't hear many of his words, over the waves, but you don't think he s having a great time.Your minions tug you up onto the raft, then Klaus in turn, while you lie there and revel in the sensation of feeling returning to your limbs. Mr Speedy crawls out of your shirt pocket, decides it's even colder outside, and promptly heads back in - as for you, you manage to awkwardly pat yourself down, utterly relieved to find nothing missing.Except your dignity, obviously."So," Fireplace mumbles, from his own prone position, "is THIS normal for you?">Yes. This is normal. Just as planned.>This is a little unexpected, but no biggie. We can handle this.>... Sunglasses, you're still on watch. I'm going to sleep.>Other?>>3604749Rolling to see what rank you have to be before you can command your own ship.1-20 Captain21-40 Commodore41-60 Rear Admiral61-80 Vice Admiral81-99 Admiral100 Fleet Admiral
>>3604770>>This is a little unexpected, but no biggie. We can handle this.Deflect like no man has deflected before.
>Worst part? this has actually started better than some of my past trips, seriously am expecting a fleet to show up any minute now and challenge me to a dance contest or some other insane crap like that.>I am half convinced there is some trickster god making my life complicated for their own amusement.
>>3604770>This is a little unexpected, but no biggie. We can handle this.Something something volatile sky ships.Im sorry Skyrazor, we didn't knew you for long but you will be missed dearly.F
>>3604770>>This is a little unexpected, but no biggie. We can handle this.>>We weren't kidnapped, so this is good.
>>3604785>Dance contesthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5yzPqR1xQIAlso +1
>>3604770>>This is a little unexpected, but no biggie. We can handle this.
>See 88 replies on the thread watcher>"Oh damn, I should catch up-">"WHAT THE FUCK"Dice Gods, why?? What did Flashman DO to deserve THIS?!Rip Skyrazor, you will be missed.
>>3604770Mix this two>>3604785>>3604788
>>3604770>>This is a little unexpected, but no biggie. We can handle this.This has been no start worse than blowing up our own ship
>>3604770>Yes. This is normal. Just as planned.
>You manage to lift a hand and wave it. "This is a little unexpected, but no biggie. We can handle this." You kind of have to half-yell it, but oh well. "We weren't kidnapped, so that's good! And really, this has still started off better than some of my trips, I'm half expecting a fleet to show up and challenge us to a dance contest."Hat perks up, despite the cold and wet. "Oh! If they do, I want to compete!""... Sure."Klaus groans, lifting his waterlogged coat from the raft and trying to wring it out. No wonder he took the time to grab it, half his swords are strapped to the damn thing. "Okay, jokes are over, idiots. Anyone injured? No? Prettyboy, your ribs?"You poke them, winding slightly. "... No worse than before? I think.""Cinders, your arm?" He sounds surprisingly no-nonsense. You guess he really WAS an officer once..."Still attached for now," Fireplace answers his voice is about the only thing present that's actually dry."Great. All right, in the name of not, I dunno, getting pneumonia, or falling overboard, or attracting seakings, you're all gonna move where I tell you. Got it?"With tired assent, your group of drowned rats clamber to where Klaus directs, feeling the raft become a little steadier under you. Then you find an only HALF-drowned rat, as something peeks a tiny face out of the pocket of Klaus' coat, looks around, and then goes back in."Six hours 'til daylight," Sunglasses sighs, huddled up next to his aniki. You stare at the pocket.That... was a rat. That was definitely a rat."At least the Pose is still working," Hat encourages, "and aniki still has his den den! We'll be okay!"The stars aren't quite bright enough to SEE Klaus' frustrated eye-roll, but you can almost feel it anyway.>Talk to someone (who?)>Try and get some sleep. Somehow.>Call someone (who?)>Other?
>>3604843>>Other?>>Try and keep spirits up with a sailor song
>>3604843>eat some of the candy we got stashed in our pockets and go to sleep
>>3604843>>Try and get some sleep. Somehow.
>>3604843>Check if that bag Garp give us is securedif yes >Try and get some sleep. Somehow.if no >Well we are dead anyway dive for them
>>3604843>>Call someone (who?)>S.O.S.
>>3604843>>Other?We need to check on Flaws payment.
>>3604869ooh shit forgot about the bag, switching to this support this
>>3604843>Check if that bag Garp give us is secured
>Roll 1d100, best of 3Let's see how the bag is...
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>3604915
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>3604915
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>3604915
>76, beat the 75 DC. Damn.There's a grand total of zero food 'aboard', but Hat's right - with Mr Speedy and the Eternal Pose, you're not totally screwed. Even better, the bag with the bribe/payment in is apparently made of some kind of waterproof material, and sealed tightly enough you doubt anything got in.Well, if anything's illegible, tough shit, you can just kill him if he kicks up a fuss upon payment.Meh."We should try to get some rest," Klaus says, sounding tired, although you're not sure when he became in charge. "If we're still in a shit situation when dawn comes, we'll probably have to call Garp and arrange a pick-up." He tugs his (rat-infested) coat on, though you doubt that'll help warm him. "I'll take first watch, the rest of you try to sleep. Or close tour eyes and fake it, anyway.">Try to get some rest...>Something else to say/do?
>>3604940>>Try to get some rest...
>>3604940>>Something else to say/do?>"So is that rat in your pocket emergency food or..."I just want to see how volatile his reaction is at the suggestionThen we can see how far gone he is from spending all that time talking to rats
>>3604940>Try to get some rest...
>>3604957Hey, it's just the one rat...>Roll 1d100, best of 3 for getting through the night without running into something
Rolled 52 (1d100)all good this night
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>3605001
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>3605001
>73, a boring night.You rest. You even manage to catch a couple of hours of shut-eye, unbelievable as that seems, although maybe that's from exhaustion.In any case, dawn breaks, a clear sky ahead - at least it isn't raining, you have SOME luck - and with it, comes a decision to be made.>Call Garp, ask them to send the Trafalgar pirates to collect you.>Call Garp, ask for a pick-up. And maybe a new boat...>Keep going. Paddling your raft. And hope you don't hit a random storm/whirlpool/seaking/pirate ship.>Other?
>>3605044>>Call Garp, ask them to send the Trafalgar pirates to collect you.
>>3605044>>Keep going. Paddling your raft. And hope you don't hit a random storm/whirlpool/seaking/pirate ship.Inb4 we run into a seaking Pirate who ate the whirlpool fruit
>>3605044>Call Garp, ask them to send the Trafalgar pirates to collect you.But remember to ask if it safe to talk
>>3605044>Call garp, ask for pickup.>"Hey, chief so uh... good news and bad news, bad news is our ship exploded, good news is that we and the money are intact, other bad news is that we're stranded. Could we uh get like a pickup or something?" *nervous laughter*
>>3605044>>Call Garp, ask them to send the Trafalgar pirates to collect you.Fuck it, let's just get this over with lol
>tfw your car breaks down and you have to call for a ride"Okay!" You're so hungry. So hungry. So. Damn. Hungry. "I think we should call Garp and ask him to send the Heart Pirates to pick us up. Yes? No?"There's a series of shrugs. "You're the boss," Hat says, oddly cheerful."I don't care, I'm outta booze," mumbles Klaus, looking three-quarters dead. Did he take all of last night on watch? Ouch."I've given up caring about anything," Fireplace votes, uncaringly, like a non-carer."... Right." You're surrounded by lunatics, but at least they're lunatics who don't know you nearly killed them all. Luring Mr Speedy from his pocket, you dial Garp. Or more precisely, Bogart, because that's who picks up."Vice-Admiral Garp's ship.""Heeeeey, sir, it's Commander Flashman," you begin, nice and jaunty.>So our ship kinda blew up. Can you send the Heart Pirates to come pick us up before our raft sinks and we die?>Funny story! A bunch of seakings kind of ate our ship - we're all okay - and we need a ride. If the Heart Pirates could do it, that's cool, but if they can't, I'm sure we'll be fine. It's all good here.>Could you send the Heart Pirates towards our route, sir? For reasons.>Other?
>>3605162>>Could you send the Heart Pirates towards our route, sir? For reasons.
>>3605044>Call Garp, ask for a pick-up. And maybe a new boat...We should still be a lot closer to Garp’s ship than Trafalgar’s, and I’d rather not start negotiations as ‘those dipshits who we had to rescue, and who happen to have no way back except for keeping on our good side’.
>>3605162>>So our ship kinda blew up. Can you send the Heart Pirates to come pick us up before our raft sinks and we die?Let's start a betting pool on how long the sigh on the other end of the Den Den will last
>>3605162>>So our ship kinda blew up. Can you send the Heart Pirates to come pick us up before our raft sinks and we die?
>>3605162>Could you send the Doctor towards our route, sir? For reasons.
>>3605162>ASK IF HE'S ALONE FIRST!sneaky little spider
>>3605203Support
>>3605203Oh shit +1
>>3605203Wisdom? In this quest? Shocking. >Support
>>3605203+1Ask if he is single
Rolled 2 (1d100)Going to bed, see you all tomorrow! Or some of you. I don't know. Actually, I won't see you because this is the internet, and I'll only see your posts, but still.... I need sleep. Thanks for playing!>>3605218Rolling to see if Bogart's single.1-33 Single34-66 Dating67-99 Married100 Is actually a harem protagonist
>>3605233Poor Bogart
>>3605233One should be widower
>>3605233Wow, he's almost single enough to be Flashman
>>3605795Woot freshman!
New mission acquired, get bogart a waifu >Inb4 no shipping No shipping usWe can still play matchmaker quest
>>3606232If bogart is single tell em to sing this to their love>Roses are red violets are blue I must eat yogurt off of you, Know that I can never hold back, my love for you is my crack! I wield my passion like an axe it’s warm and gooey just like wax. You cannot take such juicy lust, can you withstand my manly musk? Love is like a ripened squid that stinks with limp appendages . >You scratch the rash that’s on my ass! One that only love can surpass! Just lie down and let me touch, I promise you it won’t hurt much. Tears and screams of pain and pleasure are gifts we will share forever. Drenched deep in sweaty brine, whose blood is this yours or mine?”
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>3606342You should write greeting cards.>>3605246No, because Bogart's such a goddamn badass he'd punch Death in the face if it came for his wife. Instead, Bogart is apparently married to his job (to be fair, dealing with Garp is a 24/7 duty) and has no time for such frivolities as 'basic human relationships'.>>3606232BogartxPistol-chan, detectives in ~love~Now rolling for whether a swordsman can ever find true happiness with a gun.
>>36052038888)>breakdown services"First up, are you alone right now?""... Yes." He already sounds like he regrets being awake; you suspect he's developed some kind of idiocy detector thanks to working under Garp."Great! In that case, could you send the Heart Pirates towards our route, sir? For reasons."The silence that follows is particularly expressive. "Should I ask why.""... No.""Will this have any bearing on the completion of your mission?""Also no!"A brief sigh. "I can call them myself, or you can do so, Commander. Do you want their den den number?"That's the voice of a man who just doesn't care any more.>No, no, you can call them, sir. Please.>Yeah, maybe it'd be best if I spoke to them myself.>Other?
>>3607249>No, no, you can call them, sir. Please.
>Yeah, maybe it'd be best if I spoke to them myself.
>>3607249>Yeah, maybe it'd be best if I spoke to them myself.
>>3607249>sure their number would be nice, so what kind of girls are you into?Just some harmless guy talk,nothing nefarious, no plotting going on here
>>3607249>>Yeah, maybe it'd be best if I spoke to them myself.
>>3607249>>Yeah, maybe it'd be best if I spoke to them myself.So what's gonna be our excuse for the boat blowing up without revealing we're a logia (or letting the others know it was 100% our fault)? Lolonoa managing to develop sword beams and coming back for round two?
>>3607332Our excuse is that we don't fucking know WTF has happened
>>3607332We don't know what the fuck happened. Shit just happens sometimes, dude. Especially on a boat.
>>3607332It’s the Grand Line. Shit happens.
>>3607332Sky boats be whack yo.
>>3607341>>3607346>>3607458Accidents happen on ships, outside of anyone’s control or fault. Especially on a ship designed and built for sailing in the White Sea, and on the Grand Line?
>FINALLY BACK, SeasusYou avoid wincing, because you don't want Bogart's den den to give away your reaction, but... actually, avoiding having to explain as much as possible would be good. "Yeah, maybe it'd be best if I spoke to them myself.""Mm-hmm."HE'S ONTO YOU.Despite that, the man rattles off a quick series of numbers, and tells you to call back if the Heart pirates are incommunicado for some reason. They SHOULD be range - Mr Speedy's always had a better one than most of his size - but you guess there could always be weather interference. Or they could have been eaten by a seaking. Whatever.After dropping the call, you glance around at the others. Fireplace is asleep (and weirdly quickly, probably something to do with the pain meds?) but the others look back at you."So," you say, brightly. "Who wants to call the Hea-?"Klaus and your minions promptly point at you."... Yeah, figures," you grumble, and reluctantly dial, trying to figure out the best way to say 'hey, we're the Marines you're making a secret deal with, our ship got sunk, come pick us up'.You're preeetty sure this counts as starting from a position of weakness.A few brief rings later, and the call is answered by a casual, cheery voice. "'S'up?">Hey, is Trafalgar Law there?>This is Commander Flashman, there's been a small issue with the agreement.>... Hypothetically speaking, are you expecting some guests in the next day or so?>Other?
>>3610603>>... Hypothetically speaking, are you expecting some guests in the next day or so?
>>3610603>We need to change meeting place
>>3610603>... Hypothetically speaking, are you expecting some guests in the next day or so?
>hello there!Okay. This is cool.just act natural. Like it's no big deal. And, uh, maybe confirm this guy is in the know, first."... Hypothetically speaking, are you expecting some guests in the next day or so?"A brief pause. "Maaaaaybe," says Mr Pirate, sounding less casual now. "But maybe not. Who is this?">Commander Flashman.>One of the escorts for a certain hothead.>It's polite to introduce yourself, first.>The finest lay your mother ever h- NO DON'T HANG UP I'M JUST KIDDING>Other?
>>3610687>One of the escorts for a certain hothead.
>>3610687>>One of the escorts for a certain hothead.
>SUBLETY"One of the escorts for a certain hothead.""I'm not gonna confirm I know what you're speaking about, but let's just assume that I do," Mr Pirate allows, and you're pretty sure that doesn't really make much sense, but whatever. "We weren't expecting any calls, so what's the problem?">Slight change of plans. Our ship sunk due to Grand Line Bullshit, we need you to come pick us up.>For that... I need to speak to your Captain.>..... For highly classified reasons, you need to meet us en-route.>Other?
>>3610777>>Slight change of plans. Our ship sunk due to Grand Line Bullshit, we need you to come pick us up.>The papers are fine by the way.
>>3610777>>3610796+1
>>3610796>>3610777Support
>>3610796+1
>>3610796This
>asking your big bro to come pick you up, how cute"Slight change of plans. Our ship sunk due to Grand Line Bullshit, we need you to come pick us up." Oh, and to reassure them, "The papers are fine by the way.""Well," says the pirate. "Shit. Uh. I need to talk to the Captain. Hold on a sec."A muffled 'Caaaaaaptaaain!' follows, along with the sound of receding footsteps.Klaus gives you a thumbs-up. "That went well!"You stare at him dully. "Are you being sarcastic?"He smiles."If they refuse, we'll just call Bogart to collect us," Sunglasses optimistically points out. "It's really no big deal, a d they have no reason NOT to pick us up.""I wouldn't say we're exactly in the middle of a streak of good luck and rational happenings," Klaus mutters, leaning back before apparently remembering there s nothing to lean back ON, and quickly shuffling forwards.You ignore the quiet bickering - and your slowly growing hunger - before the den den is finally answered again, Mr Speedy's eyes narrowing almost lazily."Got a name?" What a blunt question.>Commander Flashman.>Not one I'll say over a potentially open line, no.>Yup. A couple, actually!>Other?
>>3610930>>Not one I'll say over a potentially open line, no.>>So call me Arthur for now.
>>3610939This
>>3610930>>Not one I'll say over a potentially open line, no.
>>3610930>Yup. A couple, actually!
>>3610930>>3610939+1 I have a feeling this will lead to hijinks later.
>>3610939support
>>3610939Supporting
>this was going to be the update where you could choose to call yourself arthur, but you apparently skipped ahead"Not one I'll say over a potentially open line, no." You can do discreet. Look at you, doing it right now! All classified and stuff! "So call me Arthur for now." Good job, Fla- no, Arthur!"Arthur, then," Mr Pirate Who's Probably Trafalgar Law says, sounding as if he gives precisely zero fucks, with an unsubtle undercurrent of sheer smugness. Smuggery? Smugritude? Yeah, that sounds about right. Smugritude. "Care to explain this little change in instructions? Because it sounds an awful lot like your party is changing the agreement.""Maybe your subordinate didn't mention it, but our ship is currently in a lot of pieces," you explain, trying not to feel guilty over it in case Klaus picks up on it, "and we can't actually get to you."Probably-Trafalgar makes a vague noise of acknowledgement. "But the payment is fine, you said?""Yep! And the..." Patient? Shichibukai? Surface? "Other object of the trade. Juuust a minor hiccup is all.""So without a ship, I suppose you'd expect to stay on board our own vessel for the duration of the trade."Um."And we'd have to drop you off somewhere after its completion. Is that right?" The lazy tone isn't so much smug as mocking, now. "Because that sounds awfully convenient if you wanted to have better access to my vessel and crew, Mr Arthur.">That's kind of arrogant, y'know? It's not like we want to spend any more time around your group than necessary.>Oh, you caught me. We were planning on planting bombs everywhere like a bunch of dumbasses, and one of my men was gonna steal your shampoo. Darn. You've ruined everything.>Dude, you're not that important. Shit just happens sometimes.>Other?
>>3611159>>Oh, you caught me. We were planning on planting bombs everywhere like a bunch of dumbasses, and one of my men was gonna steal your shampoo. Darn. You've ruined everything.>>Guess I should just drop these papers into the ocean then...
>>3611159>"Oh, you caught me. We were planning on planting bombs everywhere like a bunch of dumbasses, and one of my men was gonna steal your shampoo. Darn. You've ruined everything."then>"Seriously though, dude, you're not that important. Shit just happens sometimes."
>>3611159>>Oh, you caught me. We were planning on planting bombs everywhere like a bunch of dumbasses, and one of my men was gonna steal your shampoo. Darn. You've ruined everything.>>Dude, you're not that important. Shit just happens sometimes.
>>3611159>>Dude, you're not that important. Shit just happens sometimes.
>>3611159>Oh, you caught me. We were planning on planting bombs everywhere like a bunch of dumbasses, and one of my men was gonna steal your shampoo. Darn. You've ruined everything.>Dude, you're not that important. Shit just happens sometimes.Again Flashy gain more credit then he deserves>Yeah, I totally didn't accidentally use my devil fruit powers that lit barrel of oil on FIRE THAT CHAINED REACTION TO GUNPOWDER AND BLEW MY FUCKING SHIP UP! OF COURSE ITS PART OF MY GENIUS PLAN!
>>3611159>>3611203+1 Law has a bounty of 200 million. The marines would have a lot of reasons to try and fuck him over.
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>3611256Just as keikaku!(Keikaku means Nat1)Wanted to do another update here and in isekai quest, but too damn tired. Thanks for playing, and good night!Rolling for how nice Law's shampoo is. (And Law is 6'3", by the way. Plus heels.)
>>3611269....... okay, Klaus is gonna want that shampoo.
>>3611269he has the same supplier as the Celestial Dragons, but gets it at a massive discount
>>3611275>His bounty is so high because he stole shampoo from a celestial dragon.
>>3611269LAW HAS THE SOFTEST HAIR THATS WHY HE WEARS A HAT TO HIDE HOW GOOD IT IS
>>3611269>We mention shampoo>The Den Den goes silent>Law begins to sweat>HOW DID THEY KNOW
Rolled 76 (1d100)rolling for suddenly godzilla
>>3611269Seriously, wtf
I just caught and read all the archives up to this point. Never have I laughed so hard over improvable rolls.Just what the hell is with these dice?
>>3612044Its Flashman, baby!
>mfw law bonds with boa hancock over haircareYou feel your eyes roll so far back into your head, they topple into a parallel dimension and are lost forever.Sad."Oh, you caught me. We were planning on planting bombs everywhere like a bunch of dumbasses, and one of my men was gonna steal your shampoo. Darn. You've ruined everything." Hm, is rhat enough sarcasm? "Dude, you're not that important. Shit just happens sometimes."Mr Speedy's obnoxious little smirk doesn't change. It does look adorably cute on him though, so you don't mind, even as one his eyes widens as if raising an eyebrow. "Ah, and now I'm being insulted... you're not very well-mannered to your potential host, are you, Mister Arthur?"You shrug. "I dunno. ARE you my potential host? Because we definitely can't get to you, soooo..."Definitely-Trafalgar fake-sighs with fake-amusement, fakely. "I suppose we can come pick you up. Where's your boat?"Deciding not to mention it's actually more of a raft made of a part of the ship that broke off in one chunk, you rattle off a brief location based on the sun, the direction you'd been heading, and how long since you'd left Garp. It'll still take them a while to search the waters, but of it gets TOO long, you can always get Fireplace to shoot up a flare."We'll leave shortly to collect you," Doctor Pirate affirms, drawling now he's apparently done mocking your situation. "If you get eaten by a seaking before we arrive, we hold no responsibility.">Anything else, or done?>>3612044I'm pretty sure a mod is fucking with us. Somehow.
>>3612434>>Anything else, or done?nah
>>3612434>doneBring candy.
>>3612434>Done
>>3612434Donesy done
Rolled 6 (1d6)Let's try... ROLLING.My roll above is to see how many hours until Heart Pirates arrive (assuming they do).5hrs + 1d6
Okay, 11 hours. On a raft. With the minions, Klaus and Fireplace.And Klaus' cute rat buddy, plus Mr Speedy, naturally.>Roll 4d100, best of 3, for random encounter bullshit during these times.
Rolled 27, 86, 88, 97 = 298 (4d100)>>3612451
Rolled 86, 90, 97, 70 = 343 (4d100)>>3612451diceboi time
Rolled 76, 24, 89, 96 = 285 (4d100)>>3612451
>>3612453>>3612454>>3612459>86, 90, 97, & 97Not bad.
Rolled 2, 4 = 6 (2d6)>86, 90, 97, 971 pb2 po3 r4 s5 wr6 weRolling for 2 events.
>>3612463That 's' is for seaking, isn't it?Damn you Death Doktor, you doomed us all!
Rolled 3 (1d3)>>3612467Yes, the s was for seaking. The po is for pirates (okay) as opposed to pb which is pirates (bad).1 - seaking first2 - pirates first3 - same time
>>36124711-65 original66-99 canon100 xiaolong>Roll 1d100, best of 3
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>3612478
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>3612478
>>3612471>seaking Yay food!>piratesYay ship!
Rolled 80 (1d100)
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>3612478
>>3612484OH BOY, A CANON CREWOkay, if you guys can come up with canon pirate crews who could reasonably be on the area, feel free to list them, I already have a few ideas. For now, I'm going to eat, back soonish.
ok so grandline we got:Foxy PiratesThe Big Helmet Pirates (scrubs who got beat in Water 7 by the shipwrights)Cavendish (He sailed around the same time as Luffy but kepts getting upstaged by him so he hated Luffy)The Saruyama Alliance (after finding the golden city they sailed forth to find other legends of the sea in canon, prob still happened here since we rang the bell)Maybe subordinate crews to some bigger guys, and pretty much all of the supernova>>3612489
>>3612489>>3612496Where the hell is Buggy right now? I feel like he needs to appear somehow.
>>3612499by this point i think hes still running around trying to recover his limbs form the East Blue, im not sure when he got arrested and dragged to impel down, but hes prob there RN if he already recovered his limbs
Rolled 9 (1d100)Rolling for Buggy to have escaped the marines, recovered his limbs and be leading a pirate fleet across teh Grnd Line that would make Krieg weep from jealousy
>>3612499I'm pretty sure he got captured in Loguetown because of Flashy fucking with things. I think Alvida got away though.
>>3612499In prison. He got caught by Smoboss when he attacked Loguetown (and you were busy being knocked out by Dragon).>>3612496As for Saruyama alliance, they're mostly dead. You didn't ask Tashigi how she got injured, but they ended up getting caught up in the raid on Mocktown, and one of them injured her leg and was going to kill her. So Hat (or was it Sunglasses?) killed the shit out of them.R.I.P.>>3612506Dice Gods say NO.
>>3612499I remember him rolling pretty bad, so either dead or caught and imprisoned.
>>3612512well damn, kinda liked those guys but he hurt Ta-sis, fucker gets melted
Rolled 87 (1d100)Rolling for Buggy to have smuggled himself out of Impel Down by disguising himself as a pile of trash.
>>3612496Fuck seconding Cavendish. We gotta start laying the groundwork for Dressrosa now. Also Law has to deal with two blonde sword wielding idiots at the same time.Too bad it's slightly too early for Barty to have gotten a proper crew together. Sis would flip if Flashman ran into another legendary blade holder right after lolo.
1-9 C10-19 B20-29 W30-39 J40-49 F50-59 S60-69 ???70 Buggy miraculously escaped and is somehow in the Grand Line due to popular demand>Roll 1d70, 3 times, then we'll do a run-off vote.>>3612526>'disguising'
Rolled 21 (1d70)>>3612533
Rolled 17 (1d70)lets see how it goes
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>3612533
Rolled 62 (1d70)>>3612533
IIIINTERESTINGPlease vote for one of:>Whitebeard pirates>Barty>Scratchman Apoo
>>3612549>>BartyBecause I want to see what butterflies not seeing Luffy getting hit by lightning have caused.
>>3612549>Whitebeard piratesI have to, the drama is too valuable
>>3612549>these threeWelp, this could be interesting. Or 'interesting'.>>Scratchman Apoo
>>3612549>>BartyThe other options will lead to our death.
>>3612549Whitebeard pirates Let's go for maximum drama!
>>3612549>Barty
>>3612549>Whitebeard pirates
>>3612533Out of curiosity, who were the options that didn't get rolled?
>>3612565Supa sekrit But the ??? option had two possibilities, which I'd have rolled for.
>>3612569Um. The ??? did get rolled. The 56 >>3612542 is a d100.
>>3612572oh damn you right, didnt notice
>>3612569Yeah I rolled a 1d100 because I can't read. So technically the results were 62, 21, 17Also I can't believe nat 1 would have been Cavendish. Looks like we dodged a massive seastone bullet there.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>3612572>>3612575OH SHIIIIIIIIIIT didn't notice it was d100.Okay then, hold up.
OKAY, previous votes still stand (apart from Scratchman), please post if you want to change your vote (or if you haven't voted before, I guess).>Barty>Whitebeard pirates>Big Mom pirates
>>3612589>Big Mom pirates
>>3612589>>Big Mom piratesYES
>>3612589>>Big Mom pirates
>>3612589>>Big Mom piratesOh boy here we go.
>>3612589>>Big Mom piratesU N C L E
>>3612589>Big Mom pirates Oh no. Oh no no no. Oh god no. It's like a train wreck. I know we need to pick something else. I know we do. But I can't not.
>>3612589>Big Mom piratesWe die crying like a baby who's candy got stolen.
...This was...Not the reaction I was expecting...
>>3612589>Big Mom pirates...Mom?
>>3612605REALLY? You didn't expect us to pick the option most likely to blow up in our faces?
>>3612605you have given us the chance to send everything to hell in a flaming carriage, what did you expect?
>>3612605We're going to die but it's too good to not do it.
>>3612605also i must ask this, if we do ever encounter our mother do we get to do some sort of roll to see if we have a full style anime flashback to some foggy memory upon seeing her?
>>3612589>BartyOkay>All these Big Mom votesI AM OFFICIALLY PANICKINGWHAT THE FUUUCK ARE YOU ANONS DOING
>>3612605I'm fond of self harm :)
>>3612605>Expecting anons to wait until Whole Cake arc for big mom pirate hijinkskekCharlotte + Will of D Flashmomma is still in the cards, right?
>>3612616That's basically been confirmed, yes. Whether such a character would be alive or not is still up in the air.
>>3612611... well, NOW you do. I haven't even decided if she's still alive yet, but if so, sure!>>3612607>>3612608You're right, what was I thinking?>>3612606Gorignac, roll a 1d100, if you get a nat100 I'll drop my original plan and it'll be your mother. Because fuck everything, you guys want shenanigans.
Rolled 71 (1d100)i pray to thee dice gods, let us meet Mama
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>3612618P-please, QM-sama!
>>3612623fuck
>>3612623>>361262471+29=100! Close enough? No? Are the dice just taunting us?
>>3612628we are being mocked for our hubris
>>3612623>>3612625Dice Gods only fuck with us when we least expect it.
Rolled 10, 5, 3 = 18 (3d20)>>3612623>>3612624Hey, these together make 100!... But not good enough, sorry.Rolling for STUFF.
>b-b-b-b-big mooooooom pirates ahoy~The first few hours pass surprisingly peacefully. You're all hungry, but it's not like you've been out here for days; some propped-up coats and recovered tarp and sail from the drifting wreckage provides shade (not that Fireplace needs any), and the lack of water isn't an issue considering your wonderful, beautiful, precious Water Dial.>Six hours of waiting; any particular actions/conversations during this time?
>>3612667Soooooo, what have you been doing since Alabasta?
Rolled 19 (1d100)Oops, quick check. 92 DC.
>>3612667>Start singing to raise spirits
>>3612667>soooooooo, what would you guys say was your most badass moments?Like for example, this one time I shot a bullet out of the air with another bullet, this other time I accidentally captured this pirate guy who would have totally kicked my ass if I wasn't so freaking badass (and lucky),I also killed god and wrang a bell so hard that it could be heard all the way to north blue
>>3612694>this other time I accidentally captured this pirate guy who would have totally kicked my ass if I wasn't so freaking badass (and lucky)How To Get Murdered By Abs 101
>>3612668+1
>>3612701As if it wouldn't be completely worth it.
>>3612705We're feeling really self destructive today. Must be an odd numbered day!
>>3612707It's a day ending in 'y', time to kill Flashy!>shoot the breeze"Soooooo," you say as the time passes slowly. Too slowly. You're so bored. "What have you been doing since Alabasta?"Hat and Sunglasses perk up with excitement. "Lots of training!""Yeah, the Commodore's been helping out with my Devil Fruit, and Klaus has been..." Hat trails off, glancing at Klaus warily.You can guess. "... Beating the shit out of both of you?""Yeah," Sunglasses mutters.Klaus just shrugs cheerfully. "It's training. I do it with love!""Love of sadism?""Buuuut we've improved a lot," Sunglasses insists, straightening. "Next time you spar with us, we'll win!"Yeah, right. "Good luck with that!" You shoot them a thumbs up, because you're a nice, encouraging aniki who's going to gently stab them towards defeat. "And Klaus?""Eh... training all the idiots... helping Smo-kun with some stuff..." Observation training, you bet. "Animal taming..." What. "Waiting for you to do something incredibly stupid... ah, I didn't need to wait for that. Never mind."Fireplace raises his hand, smiling. "I plotted your death, Commander!"Okay, he's still being a little petty. "... Thanks.""We can push him overboard," Klaus whispers loudly, easily overheard by everyone on the damn raft. "No-one will ever know!">I don't want Garp to kill us, so no.>Nooooo, no, nope, we are all FRIENDS here. Happy, getting-along friends, who don't murder each other. Murdering someone makes them not a friend. And also a corpse.>(QUICKLY CHANGE THE SUBJECT - to what?)
>>3612738>(QUICKLY CHANGE THE SUBJECT - to what?)>"So by 'animal training' did you mean the rat hiding in your pocket?"
>>3612738>Nooooo, no, nope, we are all FRIENDS here. Happy, getting-along friends, who don't murder each other. Murdering someone makes them not a friend. And also a corpse.>Also, I'm fairly certain your brother's crew called dibs first
>>3612738>(QUICKLY CHANGE THE SUBJECT - to what is your favorite alcohol/drink and why?)
>>3612738>>3612755This.Surely Abs will respect the ancient rite of dibs? He couldn't be THAT evil, could he?
>>3612738>>3612749+1 We need to find out if he's taught it how to use a sword.
>>3612738>>3612755Kek this.
>>3612738>>(QUICKLY CHANGE THE SUBJECT - to what?)>>"So by 'animal training' did you mean the rat hiding in your pocket?"Is that a rat in your pocket, Klaus-sempai, or are you just happy to train us?
>>3612755I'll support this
Looks like 3-3 between ratticus and dibs, keeping it open.Also, it's 7pm, why is it so fucking hot, still?Also also, Another Eden is out now in European zones, and there's a bunch of freebies for downloading it at the moment. If you're looking for a new gacha which is actually fun and you don't have to spend anything, I heartily recommend it.>>3612844.... Never mind, locking for dibs.
>poor ratty waits for another time, i guessN O P EABORT"Nooooo, no, nope, we are all FRIENDS here. Happy, getting-along friends, who don't murder each other. Murdering someone makes them not a friend. And also a corpse. Also, I'm fairly certain your brother's crew called dibs first."Fireplace beams, looking honestly happy at the mention of his brother's crew. "Yeah? They rea- wait." His face falls. "They're not trying to avenge ME, right?">Uh, maybe? I know Strawhat wasn't too thrilled about you being caught.>Nah, I arrested some of them back in Loguetown. And Lolonoa is my eternal rival now.>Don't worry, I'll be gentle with them! Well, with Doctor Chopper. He's too cute to hurt.>Other?
>>3612863>Nah, I arrested some of them back in Loguetown. And Lolonoa is my etelnal lival now.
>>3612863>>Nah, I arrested some of them back in Loguetown. And Lolonoa is my eternal rival now.
>>3612863>>Uh, maybe? I know Strawhat wasn't too thrilled about you being caught.
>>3612849>Also, it's 7pm, why is it so fucking hot, still?Not all that bad here. We've got a thunderstorm been going for the past hour or so, so everything's cooled off in the downpour.>>3612863>>Nah, I arrested some of them back in Loguetown. And Lolonoa is my eternal rival now.Is that a pirate thing, by the way? Seems weird.
>etelnar livar You wave a hand. "Nah, I arrested some of them back in Loguetown. And Lolonoa is my eternal rival now."Hat and Sunglasses seem particularly interested in that, while Fireplace just frowns. "Why do you keep calling him that?""What?""Lolonoa.""Because... that's his name?"Fireplace stares at you blankly, before he slumps in defeat. "Fine. Whatever. And if he's your rival, I doubt he's gonna kill you. He didn't seem the type.""As his eternal rival, I know him better than you," you insist, mostly just to be contrary."Yeah?" Fireplace smirks at you, disbelievingly. "You really think he wants to kill you?">Absolutely! We're going to battle to the death, possibly on top of a cliff, during a lightning-storm. And you're not invited.>I'm delightfully killable. It's my whole schtick.>....... no. Maybe? Klaus, do rivals kill each other?>Other?
>>3612961>>Absolutely! We're going to battle to the death, possibly on top of a cliff, during a lightning-storm. And you're not invited.
>>3612961>>I'm delightfully killable. It's my whole schtick.
>ok so not kill, but he still got dibs in the eventual epic final showdown on top of the redline with armies looking forth as our duel decides the fate of the world! You can be strawhats plus one i guess
>>3612961>>....... no. Maybe? Klaus, do rivals kill each other?
>>3612961>>3612971Supporting this lol
>>3612961>>Absolutely! We're going to battle to the death, possibly on top of a cliff, during a lightning-storm. And you're not invited.It's all the gradually escalating fights between now and then that're going to be the problem. So hard to sort things so we both just barely survive, you know?
>>3612961>ok so not kill, but he still got dibs in the eventual epic final showdown on top of the redline with armies looking forth as our duel decides the fate of the world! You can be strawhats plus one i guess
>>3612971Support
>>3612961>>3612971Support
>Nuh-uh!"Ok, so not kill, but he still got dibs in the eventual epic, final showdown on top of the Redline, with armies looking forth as our duel decides the fate of the world! You can be Strawhat's plus-one, I guess."Klaus, halfway through a drink from his hipflask, starts choking. You ignore him."I... I honestly can't tell if you're joking or not..." Fireplace says, seeming vaguely amused."He's not," Klaus gasps, shoving his flask away. "He might think he is, but that's the exact sort of bullshit event I'd expect from him.""Hey!" You are OFFENDED. "It won't be for a long time yet, okay? I'll be at least a Rear-Admiral by then!""Rear-? You're a photographer," Abs points out, sounding lost."... So?"Fireplace looks at Klaus, beseechingly. Klaus stares back, despondent. Then he hands his flask over to the pirate, who accepts it with an expression of physical pain."... You're all weird," you announce.Hat raises an arm. "So... who's YOUR plus-one?">Smoboss.>Klaus.>My cute child.>Other?
>>3613052>Snek
>>3613052>My cute child.
>>3613052>>My cute child.We'll find a way, Noodle.
>>3613052>>Well it can't be Smo-Boss cause he'll be fighting Strawhat, and Klaus will be busy dealing with a mysterious figure from his past so....>>Snek
>>3613052>TashigiEither her or Klaus. Or our mother if we ever find her.
>>3613052>>My cute child.never forgetti the snek named after spaghetti
>>3613052>My cute child.(just to fuck with them)Led Fireplace think we are teenage dad>Seriously contemplate who would be your plus-one. (probably Tashigi or maybe we are yet to meet one)
>>3613071Kek, changing to this
>>3613071support
>>3613052>>3613071Perfection.
>>3613052>>3613068>>3613071Changing to this
>hiss hiss muddafukka Your heart swells with pride and joy in the existence of Overgrown Snek-kind. "Well, it cant be Smoboss, because he'll be fighting Strawhat, and Klaus'll be busy dealing wirh a mysterious figure from his past, so... My cute child." You'll get Noodle down, at least to visit!"WHAAAAAAAATTTT?!" Man, Hat and Sunglasses sure are loud.Fireplace just looks mildly surprised. "YOU have a kid?""Yeeeah? Why's that weird?""You just... seem a little young, I guess," Fireplace mutters. "I just wasn't expecting it."You shrug. "Well, it's kind of recent. I've got some pictures back on Smoboss' ship, but the seawater's trashed the ones I was holding... ash, it's really cute, though? Big, wide eyes, and so wriggly~!""I hate everything," Klaus murmurs, voice muffled through the hands covering his face.Fireplace just looks confused. "'It?'""Well, it seemed kind of rude to look at its genitals, you know?"Fireplace opens his mouth. Shuts it. Opens it again. ".... Okay. I guess... it's... in better hands elsewhere. So, uh, what's it's name?""Noodle," you say, proudly.Waves continue rocking the raft, as a lingering silence descends. The breeze is surprisingly refreshing."Okay," Fireplace repeats himself, slowly. "That's... a name. Yes. So it's... Flashman Noodle?""Oh, no, it didn't inherit MY name," you correct. "It's Noodle D. Anger. First name, then family name. Rare, I know."You're not sure why Fireplace's eyes widen slightly. "It's a D?""... The middle name is, yeah, I'm assuming you're not calling it a dick. Why?""Then - its mom... no. Never mind." He looks down to Klaus' flask, and then tosses the whole thing back in one mouthful."I'm sure prettyboy's family is a fascinating subject," Klaus announces, wearing an expression of suicidal intent, "but maybe we should talk about something less... traumatizing.">New topic?>Timeskip to masochism?
>>3613159>>Timeskip to masochism?Sure let's get things moving lol
>>3613159Can't wait until Luffy pieces together the truth about Flashman's heritage and tells Ace kek>Timeskip
>>3613159>"My beautiful and perfect snake child is NOT traumatizing. Speaking of how are your guys' families doing?"
>>3613159>>Timeskip to masochism?Ace has to be so confused by everything we do. We're an idiot who captured him whose in photography but want's to be an admiral who has a kid who might be a D and how does he even know what D's are AAAAHHHHH
>>3613159>>TimeskipSomeone is going to die and it's probably going to be us.
>>3613184I'm sure everyone who meets Flashman is confused
>>3613159>Timeskip to masochism?Lets play strip version of rock paper scissors
>>3613159>>Timeskip to masochism?We should stop talking about our family so we can meet our mum's family.
Rolled 16, 43, 6 = 65 (3d100)>>3613181>tfw your eternal rival is your father>it's CANDY TIME. and a seaking.With the topic forced on to other matters (totally boring ones that aren't about weaponry or cute sneks), your little group ignores their growing hunger and focuses on conversation. And the shittiest game of Eye Spy ever, right up until Klaus says, "Huh.""Huh doesn't begin with w, and you can't see a huh," Sunglasses chides."Shut it, dumbass, I see a ship."The rest of you promptly look at where Klaus is squinting, hopes rising."Is it the Heart Pirates? I don't know their flag..." Fireplace muses."Its not quite in range yet, but maybe." You try to focus on the slowly approaching sails of the ship. "Actually... I think it's too small? It's like, Going Merry sized, and I think the Hearts have a much bigger crew than the Strawhats.""If it's pirates, we can beat them up and take their ship!" At least Hat's happy."Statistically speaking, it's more likely to be a merch-yeeeeeah, no, looks like a Jolly Roger on the flag." Klaus leans closer, scowling. "Can't make it out... damn, why couldn't one of us have grabbed the telescope?""If it's a Whitebeard ally, I'm not helping. Just warning you now."You shoot Fireplace an annoyed look, but he just shrugs without apology. "Part of my agreement to become Shichibukai. Can't make me.""Rest up like the cripple you are, Cinders," Klaus says, which is kinda rude. "We can take care of these guys if they try anyth- oh shit.""What?""Shit. Shit. Can anyone else get a good look at that Jolly Roger?"You peer back at the oh fuck. Right. You can see it now. "Fuck," you say."Double-fuck," Klaus agrees."What?" Sunglasses just sounds exasperated. "Who is it?""That's... one of Big Mom's scouts," Fireplace says slowly, eyes fixed on the approaching vessel.A horrified silence falls.Anyway, that's when the seaking attacks.>Roll 2d100 (that's TWO dice), best of 3
Rolled 31, 1 = 32 (2d100)>>3613230
Rolled 53, 64 = 117 (2d100)>>3613230HERE WE GO
Rolled 75, 34 = 109 (2d100)>>3613230
Rolled 91, 59 = 150 (2d100)>>3613230>>3613235Fuck
>>3613235seriously?
>>3613230Wow, we are surrounded by jobbers.>>3613235Oh for fucks sake.
>>3613235oh no
Rolled 29, 3 = 32 (2d100)>>3613230
>>3613237Man, my rolls have been really off this thread.I honestly wonder if it's actually because of Ace?
>>3613245Just give it time, the dice gods work in mysterious ways
>>3613245Fucking Ace is trash and his jobberness has infected our dice. Our dice used to be good until he showed up.
>>3613245Roll for it, that's the only way in this world to be certain
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>3613255
Rolled 64, 90, 39, 27 = 220 (4d100)>>3613235Oh my fucking Seasus.The second die is Ace's roll.This is amazing.Uh, also, he might be dead. Let's see how the Big Mom pirates handle shit...Klaus, Hat, Sunglasses, JobberJobJobYou got a 75, and are thus the only one to be relatively okay, despite being a goddamn Devil Fruit user in the middle of the sea. Impressive.
>>3613263>Ace might be deadOH god no, not on our watch. We're the one his gramps is gonna hold responsible for this. Oh shit.
>>3613263What the fuck is happening with Ace, seriously? It's like all his talent got sucked up by Flashman or something
any crit holders on board willing to try to save the firejobber?
>>3613263Fucking awesome, we start getting crit fails right after we waste most of our crits on fucking conquerors.
>>3604556>>3613263Can we use this crit?
Rolled 74, 69, 40, 64, 4, 73, 57, 25, 83, 58 = 547 (10d100)>>3613263Okay, Klaus and Hat are good... Sunglasses is... not good. And as for Buttmonkey D. Jobber...Rolling to get the bad luck out, because wow.>>3613272Yeeeeeah, Garp would... not be happy. If you guys want, milla offered their nat100 to me earlier and I could use that so he survives. At the moment it's not looking great. He's not dead YET, but he's definitely permanently crippled otherwise.
>>3613263No! If Ace dies Garp will kill us them Luffy will kill us them Lolonoa, Klaus and Smoboss will kill because we died
>>3613263It's because we fly.Also that's another low roll there Fireplace.This was supposed to be the easy part, wtf?>>3613276well, the one from >>3604556 Milla became public domain...
>>3613285YEAH LETS USE IT PLEASE
>>3613285I'm okay with burning it. We are in dire need of a pick-me-up. Anything to stave off the impending doom, really.
>>3613285USE IT. I don't want to be held in anyway responsible for this shitshow of a mission.
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SIMPLE ESCORT MISSIONWHYYYYYY
>>3613296>ESCORT MISSIONthat's why
>>3613285BURN IT.
>>3613285If he loses the arm this trip is pointless. I vote that we use it.
>>3613296Didn't you know that escort missions are always the worst?
>>3613285as long as it is clearly us saving him am fine with burning it
>>3613296That why I hate escort mission in video games because they always die
Rolled 45 (1d100)Checking something.
Klaus was right we should just throw him into the sea
Rolled 45 (1d100)OKAYI think we've pretty much confirmed burning milla's nat100 on saving Abs, and yes, you'll be the one saving him. I'll also throw in making sure Sunglasses is safe, because it IS a nat100. Much as I'd like to have him lost at sea and picked up by Revolutionaries, or something.>>3613320... Rolling to see if the ocean wants him.
>>3613285>He's not dead YET, but he's definitely permanently crippled otherwise.Even with Trafalgar's help?
>>3613313>Rolled 45 (1d100)>>3613324>Rolled 45 (1d100)...Do it again
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>3613325He was going to have a limb bitten off and eaten, so not much Tra-guy could do there.>>3613329Hmmmmmmm
>>3613313>>3613324...roll once more, if you don't mind?
>>3613331oh right forgot theres also a seaking encounter happening at the same time
>>3613334Ah, auto-updater betrayed me. Sorry. >>3613331
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>3613336Well, I meant by the Big Mom pirates, but sure, that too!... Just kidding, yes, by the seaking.Maaaaan, your luck really sucks when Jobber's around and you're not actively opposing him, huh?Quick roll to see what you'd get if you were attempting to capture/kill him.
>>3613331>He was going to have a limb bitten off and eaten, so not much Tra-guy could do there.So we need to choose>We save him (burns nat100 )or>He get super cool prosthetic (COMPLETELY FREE! GIVING IT AWAY! FREE SHIPPING!)
>>3613356>Rolled 95 (1d100)>Quick roll to see what you'd get if you were attempting to capture/kill him....Ace. You're the son of Gol D. FUCKING RogerHOW ARE YOU SUCH A BITCH
>>3613357Keep in mind burning the nat 100 also saves Sunglasses, who Fireplace seems to have passed the jobber curse to.
>>3613359It seems like Flashman D is just bigger
>>3613362That's true? If yes then yeah burn it
>>3613362Time for Flashman to step up. Whenever shit goes down, Flashman rises. It's kind of his thing.
>>3613324>>3613367>I'll also throw in making sure Sunglasses is safe, because it IS a nat100. Much as I'd like to have him lost at sea and picked up by Revolutionaries, or something.It's true
>>3613363I forget, is Flashy even actually a D?
>>3613375Yes. Inherited from his mother.
>>3613375Flashmom is both a D and one of Big Mom's brood, so yeah he is.
>>3613377>>3613384Ah, right.
>>3613368It's a great pattern. People encounter us acting like a complete moron and then the next moment we get shit done. I'm really happy that this happened almost immediately after we outright said we don't know our child's gender cause it's rude to look at people's genitals.
>>3613392Which also happened after we BLEW UP OUR OWN SHIP IN THE FIRST PLACE
>>3613392I'd just like to take a moment to request we all think about poor Klaus, and the shit he has to put up with from Flashy.Klaus. For all the crap you've pulled, you never deserved any of this. I'm so sorry.
Rolled 2 (1d100)A thing.This roll +??????????
>>3613434Lel
>>3613434Ace. Why are you like this?
>>3613434Did Ace manage to job so hard he cancelled out our auto-cirt?
>>3613434what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuck
>>3613446Ace must dieHe was always supposed to be free, not tied to the whole shichibukai businessThe universe demands it
>>3613434Forget about his arm, we need a cure for this jobber aura.
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>3613463Rolling to see if Ace has to fake his death to get rid of the bad luck.Bonus points if he appears out of nowhere later and helps us when we least expect it.
>>3613356>95........ I'm starting to wonder if your destined rival is poor Fireplace.>>3613359IT'S BECAUSE HE NEEDS THERAPY, HE'S SUBCONSCIOUSLY TRYING TO KILL HIMSELF>>3613363Odd, considering both of Abs' parents were D's. Do they cancel each other out? Or does Flashy's celestial dragon aura activate against nearby pirate D's? Thesis time!>all these rolls lolThere's no warning, because apparently both you and Klaus neglected to activate your Haki.Oops.There's no time for recriminations though, because the first thing you know of it is the sudden eruption beneath you, the crashing sound of your raft splintering into jagged shards of wood and nails, the eardrum-shattering bellow of the seaking slamming up from beneath you and hurling you all high, high into the air.Well. Fuck.The world spins around you, sky-sea-sky, and you hold yourself back from turning to lightning just yet - only Klaus knows so far, and besides, you don't want to risk electrocuting someone while you're all in the air. You can't tell where all the yells are coming from, and you can't activate Observation like THIS.Finally, gravity decides it's time to kick in.You start falling, splinters of wood toppling with you, and - OH SHIT, Fireplace is hurtling right down towards that lunging mouth, his eyes closed - is he conscious? - and you reach out to grab falling line of soaked, rough rope.Then you fucking slam it out like it's one of your fan chains, acting on sheer adrenaline and panic as it slaps around Abs' chest (thank Seasus he's wearing a shirt, that'll stop some of the damage) and yank his dazed body towards you, away from the closing jaws.You did it!....... YOU'RE STILL FALLING, GAAAAHHHHHHHHHSHITSHITSHIIII-(1/2)
The air moves. No - slices. Or is sliced? You can't even tell, the speed of the faint ripple that passes, a sudden rush of wind -And the seaking let's out another roar, this time pained and panicked, as half of one enormous fin is sliced nearly off, the massive beast instantly pulling itself mostly back under the water.Right before you hit said water.Everything goes dark and quiet and slow and confusing. Your hand - you clench tight on the rope attached to Fireplace, hoping he had the consciousness and brains to suck in air before you both hit.Klaus... will probably be fine. He's Klaus. Sunglasses, you don't know. As for Hat, you're sure someone will grab him. And hopefully you as well. Soon.Your lips clenched tight around a bulging mouthful of air, you keep sinking.Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.The water around you is turning even darker, red - you hope that's the Seaking and not one of your fri- crew. Not like you can even move to check.But - after an eternity of slowly falling, chest starting to falter, you feel an arm wrap around you - yep, you remember that grip from last night.You'll never insult Klaus again. For at least a day.He pushes forwards, tugging you towards the rope's direction, and - yeah, you can vaguely make out Abs' silhouette, before Klaus' other arm wraps around him, changing direction to drag the pair of you upwards....... you're pretty sure Klaus is going to murder you for needing him to save you twice in this short a time. At least you can blame the seaking for this one!Head breaking the water, you gasp a deep, relieving dozen breaths of air, hearing the same from nearby. Oh, goody, Fireplace is still alive. Garp won't murder you."Seaking's dead," Klaus states, sounding as if he wants to brutally kill someone. You hope it's not you. "Pirates are... getting closer."You cast a panicked glance around for your minions - and fuck, Mr Speedy, you can't check on him like this -->Activate Observation Haki>Get yourself kidna- uh. Hail the Big Mom pirates and hope they're feeling nice.>Tell Klaus to (do what?)>Other?>>3613436Dat contagious jobber aura~The 2 was Klaus, by the way. Thankfully his Swordsmanship bonus is big enough he auto-succeeded despite the 2. If it was a nat1, the seaking would be heading back around for round two.
>>3613507>Get yourself kidna- uh. Hail the Big Mom pirates and hope they're feeling nice.
>>3613507>>Activate Observation Haki
>>3613507>Activate Observation Haki
>>3613507>Get yourself kidna- uh. Hail the Big Mom pirates and hope they're feeling nice.>"I hear they have a lot of sweets."
>>3613507>Autosucceeded>With a 2Concern_but_also_an_erection.pngHaki, search for Mr. Speedy
>>3613507>Take off your uniform, order Hat and Sunglasses to do the same. Then discard it. (pray that they don't have telescope)
Rolled 88, 97 = 185 (2d100)>>3613532Klaus is kind of a badass.A currently pissed off, really wet badass, but still.Also, rolling for STUFF.>>3613535Take off your uniform... while you can't move... And order a couple of guys you can't see to do so as well... okay...
>>3613507>Activate Observation Haki MR SPEEDY WHERE ARE YOU?
>>3613544>Take off your uniform... while you can't move... And order a couple of guys you can't see to do so as well... okay...Doable. Considering our shenanigans
>>3613507>Activate Observation Haki>Check on Mr.Speedy>Check on Sunglasses&Hat>Check on damned bag of pay papers
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>3613575Good point, you're made of bullshit and sugar.Also checking a last roll and then going to bed, need to be up early tomorrow. Updates around 2ish PM Britbong, assuming I don't die of heatstroke during the night.OH, and>Roll 1d100, best of 3 for Haki
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>3613605
>>3613605>2oh no
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>3613605>2I'm scaredNightgood Spidey
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>3613605>>3613611Oh goddamnit not again
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>3613605
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>3613605
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>3613605>2YOU"RE MAKING ME NERVOUS
Rolled 10 (1d100)Rolling to see if ace will redeem himself.
Rolled 11 (1d100)rolling to see if Ace is feeling useless given how much hes jobbing
Rolled 10 (1d100)Rolling to see if flashman will save the day!
Rolled 30 (1d100)Passion like a bleeding walrus and love as large as a stegosaurus. I crop dust my roll to you.
Rolled 66 (1d100)Jesus fucking christ ladsCool the fuck off with the dicefaggotry
rolling to determin how many dice i must roll next post
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>3614026cant even into dice
A story for your time....Here, loosen your earlobes for the greasy tale before you.>Ensign Flashman has considered the situation before him, the colossal woman before him, one whose gelatinous body has consumed cities. The Big Mom herself, in all her folds of glory. The others sharken back in fear at the invincible emperor. The one emperor who was considered unpredictable in terms of attitude. Flash man knew this, but above all else he knew a woman who was deprived of sex drive when he sees one.>No reverberating noises come from his tightened neck thighs he calls vocal chords as he stares down the beast before him. He is one to know his limits, his pulsating mass could never penetrate such a vast landscape of sweaty and cratered flesh. So flashman did the only thing he could do and took off his shirt. >His jungle of body hair contrasted with his perfectly shaven face, as began scratch and at his chest hair causing the trapped aromas entwined within the fibers to be released into the atmosphere. Like a cloud of the most sublime vaginal crease but with only half the smell of fish. >With a gyration of his meat pistons and a quick thrust from his buttocks compartment he thrusts the cloud forward with a battle moan. Big Mom confused at the sudden motion of such unadulterated sexual mastery before her takes a step back in surprise only to be consumed in the cloud of pink masculinity. >She tries to fight the new sensation until she feels something wet within her awaken, a familiar feeling she thought lost. The moistness of chiseled abs and cheap beer, the sensation of flesh biting into flesh in a mutual union of partial cannibalism. With a scream big mom unleashes years of pent up sexual prowess causing a small tsunami to appear on her boat as her juices poured out from beneath her in an instant. >That’s when she remembered, she hadn’t enjoyed sex for the longest time, it like a job for her mostly, boring and necessary, but now? She knew what she had to do. >And so big mom left her mountainous body turning around as she ordered the ship to leave. >Flashman looked on with a smile as he raised his arms over his head, his musk killing 3 seagulls who were not ready for his musk and had their penises explode for inside of them form the scent. >Flash man smiles at a job well done.
>All these 2s, possibly for Ace.Damn it boy, I am THIS close to slapping you into the next magical age
>>3614633Delete this
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>3613645>>3613662>>3613906So close~>>3614967Jobber D McJobberfAce. Rolling for jobbing.
>>3615186Wait, if he scored low on a jobbing roll, does that mean he failed to job, or jobbed even harder...?
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>3615189Yes.Rolling for Jobber Fruit.
>>3615210barely below 50 % so it isn't unlikely
>post number 666 noice(Haki activates, further Observation rolls drop to 51!)Clinging to Klaus like a drowned rat, you swallow your panic and force yourself to a state of something approaching calmness.It works, at least enough for you to mostly sort of feel everyone - Klaus and Fireplace are easy to detect, and two other sources somewhere in range tell you that Hat and Sunglasses must be awake, alive, and panicking... not enough that it looks like they're in danger of imminent death, but clearly not having fun.At least they're alive. For now.Oh, and the Big Mom ship is coming into range, so that's just dandy and all."My den den-" you manage to splutter out, along with half a mouthful of seawater."Over there," Klaus says, terse as he jabs his head in the direction of a jagged plank of wood. You can't see Mr Speedy, but you can see a rat sitting on the debris, do you assume this is some Klaus-style Bullshit. Seriously, how good is his Observation? "Have you got the bag?" Bag? Shit. The bag of papers. You try to wriggle, barely moving, but del only the weight of your weapons, and you didn't grab anything... "Fuck."Klaus groans, followed by a dazed one from Abs. "This is great. Okay." You see his eyes flick over to the limp Shichibukai he's still holding in his other arm, and feel his thoughts turn calculating.>Klaus, it doesn't matter if you ditch him, we're not getting away.>... Fuck it. Klaus, let him go. We haven't got the papers anyway.>If you get me out of the water, maybe I can use my Devil Fruit...?>I think we're gonna have to hope they're in the mood for prisoners.>Other?
>>3615378>If you get me out of the water, maybe I can use my Devil Fruit...?
>>3615378>Klaus, it doesn't matter if you ditch him, we're not getting away.We've barely got a handle on our devil fruit as is, and best not to advertise to the incoming pirates that we have decent fruits.
>>3615378>>Klaus, it doesn't matter if you ditch him, we're not getting away.We can barely control our fruit and everyone is in the water. Bad combo.
>>3615378>Klaus, it doesn't matter if you ditch him, we're not getting away.
Everything has got increasingly fucking stupid since the ship blew up from random dice rolls. This whole mess isn't interesting to me.
>>3615419>This whole mess isn't interesting to me.I am glad that you shared your opinion with us. Now, go and fuck yourself
>>3615378>I think we're gonna have to hope they're in the mood for prisoners.
>everything sucks and you're all going to dieNo. Nope. Even without Fireplace's dead weight, there's still Hat and Sunglasses, and Klaus wouldn't leave them, right? Right? "Klaus, it doesn't matter if you ditch him, we're not getting away," you point out, tired, hungry, and torn between fed up and furious with this whole damn day."Yeah, I know," he mutters, before moving again - you're confused by the direction at first, before realizing you can just about see Sunglasses holding Hat's head above the water, the pair of them miserable but not looking injured."Alright, prettyboy, we're kind of fucked," Klaus announces, as you're dragged along by his side. "Cinders is easily recognized, and the rest of you are wearing uniforms, so best bet, we try to convince them to take us for hostages. As long as we can convince them only Cinders has a Fruit, you and your minion should be able to get the rest of us out."That sounds... okay. "Assuming they don't just kill us.""Well, yeah. And if they find out you have a Devil Fruit, they might think it's worth killing you to get it. Honestly, we're kind of fucked.""... That's not reassuring."If he could, you're pretty sure Klaus would have shrugged. As it is, he gives a short sigh, kicking the last distance over to your minions.Fantastic. You're so happy to have eaten that shitty Fruit. The one that blew up your boat. That took your ability to swim. And that might just get you killed even if -"MARINES," someone bellows from the goddamn pirate ship that's still approaching, though at a lower speed."I hate everything," Hat mutters."If I had just the one arm free," Klaus muses, eyeing Abs again. You try to kick him, remember you can't move your legs, and give up."A brief question, and you may yet live," the pompous voice yells down, closer now, not quite enough for you to get caught in the ship's wake. "Do you agree?"Four soaked men look at each other. Fireplace probably would have joined in, but being barely conscious, you suspect he doesn't hold much of an opinion.Screw it. You're the Commander. "Yeah, sure! As long as you pull us up first!"Your Haki is good enough to detect the total smugness of the assholes aboard, but you're pretty sure these guys aren't expecting your ability to electrocute the shit out of them. So that's nice.An air of wary, furious helplessness descends, as a rowboat shoves off towards you, two pirates in it. They look... pretty casual."Recognize them?"Klaus keeps his face blank, though his eyes twitch towards you. "No. You want to try and take them when we're aboard?">Yes.>No.>Other?>>3615423Hey, I'm happy to get feedback.That said, I would also like to point out that this entire quest is stupid and runs off excessively unlikely rolls and sheer bullshit. You're admittedly having a bad streak at the moment, which is clearly Abs' fault. Sacrifice him to the angry sea spirits.
>>3615430>If I spark up my left hand then go nuts, till then lets see what they planning to do
>>3615431Supporting
>>3615430>we're a hobo, a SHIKIBUKAI, 2 goons and a badass, do we look like marines to you?!We're obviously just in these marine costumes doing nefarious pirate stuff on our captain fireplaces orders
>>3615430>Yes.>Hey, I'm happy to get feedback.I said the same thing
>>3615430>>3615431+1
>>3615430>>3615431Support
>>3615436Teeeeeechnically, I guess...>klaus grabbed mr speedy and his new buddy on the way over, just so ya knowBlegh. It's a possibility. "If I spark up my left hand then go nuts, 'til then, let's see what they're planning to do."Right now, it seems, they're just planning to get you aboard. Sunglasses and Hat first, pulled on together - they're at least smart enough that Sunglasses makes it look like Hat can move, so hopefully they'll just figure he's exhausted from swimming and not, y'know, the seawater itself.The pirates in question - one man, one woman - look a lot more interested when they realize who Fireplace is, which means he's promptly tugged in next, and a lot more carefully.Then it's just you and the swordhobo, bobbing there."Officer, huh," the male pirate says, once your uniform is apparent. "What rank?">Ensign.>Lieutenant.>Commander.>Captain.>Other?
