Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3747555
have a cigar

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>>3747562
Remember kids, smoking is bad for your health.

Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>3747570
But not if YOU BUY 100% HEALTHY EDWARD CIGARS, USABLE BY PEOPLE OF ALL AGES, TOTALLY NOT A SCAM, ONLY 999.99 PER CIGAR, ITS NOT A SCAM, HONEST

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>>3747575
Exactly! So buy them. Now. While supplies last.

Does anyone have the link to the rest of these?

Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>3747585
Buy it...or else...

>>3747588
https://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A

Boop

Hey everybody

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>>3747592

Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>3747602
Forget it, just give me your wallet

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>3747602
*hands over doritos*

>>3747602
Offer him information on the clintons instead

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>3747609

damn it did my dice wrong

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>>3747607
It aint much, but it's a start

>>3747612
*doritos inside have been replaced with funyuns*

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3747612
Now, our target

Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>3747617
damn it. I messed up again.

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>>3747619
Right. He's some sort of upstart self-styled rebel leader. Supposedly used to be a commander of the system's military before going rogue and forming his own insurgent force

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>3747636
Oooh, warcrimes, where is he located?

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>>3747642
Aaaalllll the way over there

RIP

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>3747651
Man where is everyone
Either way, how well defended are they? Maybe we can pose as smugglers

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>>3747710

Well defended enough that strolling up to their door flying your space pirate colors would result in an immediate shot down.

But that's okay. Thread's ded so now I will put myself into cryo for 12 years until I awake to a much more thread-alive future

>>3747714
Look at it from bright side. At least you'll get enough sleep.
I usually can't make it into the night threads sadly.

>>3747730
The struggle is real

>>3747714
What's the deal with the rebellion, anyway?

Fuck I missed thread

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>3747714
might as well get something in early
>ask dai for a plan

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>3747714
Ask about the cause od the rebellion

OP is dead

Wtf why is Op kill

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>3747714
Oh shit Eduard there's some weird guy in your monitor. Punch them in the face.

Take the long way Space Jump around to keep target from seeing you. Make plans on how to capture target along the way.

RIP OP

why would they kill op ;_;

>>3750129
he had evidence implicating the Clintons in the Epstein scandal.

>>3750217
Who doesnt?

>>3750231
RIP us

>>3750317
Cursed thread, I tell you

>>3747714
Have you ever considered doing an experimental thread on fiction.live to see if you would like it there?
You would definitely get way more players.

>>3750690
I miss threads on /v/. one day the mods will stop being gay again.

>>3750690
Kill yourself faggot

>>3751043
We can only hope but I doubt it will happen.

>>3751043
One day

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>3752446
See anything out there, OP?

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>>3752450
a mysterious package

Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>3752460
Will it bring back thread from the dead tho?
Even Todd doesn't have that power.

>>3752465
Yes, but if you buy it, then you can pretend he can

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>>3752476

Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>3752460
Oh no it contains clues to what I dont know

Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>3752483
bring me peter pan

Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>3752476
>>3752483
Let's pretend instead that bounty we are after is from some organization with letters DC on them
Or their remnants.

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>>3752490

Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>3752508
So what's the deal with the rebellion?

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>3752508
Oh yes, those Space Hindu rebellion against Burger Queen chain fastfood
Weirdos

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>>3752516
Apparently, according to the bounty posted by the ruling government, this rebellion is made of "disgruntled and maddened traitors, aiming to destroy and undermine the totally fair and just government. Thus they should be crushed with prejudice and nobody should join them"

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>3752543
I mean goverment won't lie to us will they.
Always good to be a proper citizen for once.
Let's just ignore DC's channel for now which yells something about aliensyaddayaddainvasion

Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>3752543
Do the rebels have a Headtome page?

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>>3752546
Yes. let's not listen in for now.

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>3752563
Let's just review our current plan to attack. It seems we need all forces we can get.
How is Winchester doing? Still dead?

Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>3752563
Good goy. Who has ever heard of a pirate that disobeys the government?

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>>3752570
According to the doctor, the procedure will take a month.

In game terms, that means completing 2 quests

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>3752595
May as well check DC's quests, I mean it'll be way easier to gather intel on them during that and then backstab or something.
I'm sure it will all go well smoothly.

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>>3752604
Snooping around the rebel's spacenet site, it seems most of their actual quests are only available to actual recruits and members. Non-member can support the cause by doing oddjobs. But sometimes they do need extra mercs for big offensives.

>>3752632
Let's try to do oddjobs.
Big offensives also good chance to sneakily gather some valuable scrap from battlefield. Any offensives planned soon? If not, go for oddjobs. Trying to enlist may be a bit too suspicious.

Thread is still mostly dead, I'll be off soon, sorry OP.

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>3752632
>>3752640

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>3752632
Fuck that lets go on a bounty, we still have ayys and police on our ass. We dont need more exposure with this rebel crap

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>>3752642

Alright, contacting the rebels to ask for jobs

Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>3752654
Wasssuuuuuuuuuuup!!

>>3752648
>>3752654

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>>3752658
"Who am I speaking to?"

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>3752677
Tell the sob story about your dead friend Winchester and how you are short on cash now and ready to oddjobs for them.

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>>3752696
"Yes, I can tell from your unchanging face of slight anger that you are very distraught by the death of your friend and loss of money. But you sure you don't wanna join the cause and take down the corrupt government and free the peoples from their tyranny?"

I'm off, have a good bread, OP. if it'll be dead, blame communism and timezones
Not robots

Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>3752719
Depends on your dental plan honestly

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>>3752726

"Dismantle the ruling class. Blow up monuments. Retake factoriums, that kinda stuff"

Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>3752736
Sorry not good enough.
I'll do some jobs if you pay me

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>>3752741
"Sure. We always need supplies and the government needs undermining. They have multiple transport crafts around the system, bringing resources back to their factories and foundries. We need you to raid as many as you can and bring us the cargo"

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>3752747
SPESS PIRATE TIME
Tell him we'll do it and search for government ships

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Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>3752752
"Scanning..." says the computer

Roll 2d100 to scan

Rolled 15, 13 = 28 (2d100)

>>3752759

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>>3752762
The good news is that you found a whole squad of them, should be a nice haul. The bad news is that they're being escorted by heavily armed ships.

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>3752777
Dive in there, we can handle it

Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>3752777
Use the sandwich knife move on them
also dead thread again

>>3752786
Bread dying only becuz of super robits. That's why I've been trying to kill everyone for a couple threads

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>>3752784
Setting course. Black Horse awaaaaaaaay

>>3752786
shush

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>3752807
Initiate ramming manouver, at the biggest ship.

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>3752807
Plot the course so that you land with your ship knife right on top of one of the escort ships

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>>3752818
"Trying to grind through their armor from the top eh cap'n?"

Also
>captcha says "select all buses"
>image is a truck
>has option to skip
>when skipped it says "you have not completed catpcha"

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>3752827
Yes. Now grind them

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Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>3752833
Roll 2d100

Rolled 1, 70 = 71 (2d100)

>>3752844

>>3752847
ez

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>>3752847
The Black Horse exits warp space and lands right on top of one of the escorting battleships. Engaging Keelhaul protocols, the underside blades grind the ship's armor to pieces! Making a nice big hole and leaving the enemy in disarray!

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>3752876
And then another one

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>3752876
Now everyone put your seatbelts on. We're going ham.
Spin the ship and full engines into the closest pack of enemy ships

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Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>3752882
The other ship has activated its energy shield and the transports have hid behind it! In addition it has launched its own fighters and mechs out for defense!

Roll 2d100 to charge right in there

The enemy has a +20 bonus

Rolled 56, 19 = 75 (2d100)

>>3752893
KEEERUHAURUUUUUU

>>3752895
fuck someone roll

Rolled 55, 99 = 154 (2d100)

>>3752893

>>3752901
FUUUUCK

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>>3752895
Damn! The enemy's defenses are too tight. Their squadrons of fighters, mechs and ship guns fired a barrage at you! Forcing the Black Horse to halt its advance and engage evasive maneuvers!

>>3752925
fester rises from cryo sleep to aid

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>3752929
>>3752925

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>3752929
Are you retarded?

>>3752925
Oh look, a stray contingent of black goo.

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>3752925
Evade their fire and attempt a ramming manouver

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>>3752932
Fester's dead anon. And his corpse isn't even here right now.

Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>3752947
Oh look, yellow units!

Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>3752947
where is it edward

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>>3752951
"Captain, unknown force approaching" the computer says

Now who could that be. Friend or Foe?!
A. Space Cops
B. Black Aliens
C. Pirate Hunters
D. Rachelle, Edward's Ex
E. Rebecca, Edward's sister
F. Rebels reinforcements
G. I dunno, space god?

Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>3752971
Rebecca

Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>3752971
F

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>>3752979

The rebels have sent you some help, in the form of a mech

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>3752971
>>3752940

>>3753015
>>3753020
Meant to link this

Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>3753015
inb4 it has a shipbusting weapon

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Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>3753025
The rebel mech is distracting the enemy fighters and mechas. This leaves you an opening to ram the big ship!

Roll 2d100

Side note: Do remember that the Black Horse has a big ass cannon inside it

Rolled 72, 100 = 172 (2d100)

>>3753048

>>3753076
Impressive

>>3753076
It was all part of my plan to wait a whole 13 minutes. Yes, indeed.

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>>3753076
>100
Is this the power of the dead thread

>>3753083
So that ship dead, yeah?

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Anyway, with the rebel mech distracting its defenses, the enemy ship and its crew was completely taken by surprise when the Black Horse boosted through its shield, tanked its anti-ship gunfire and impaled it. Right through the hull.

Now would be a good time to fire the cannon

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>3753096
push the big red FIRE button

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3753096
FIRE

Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>3753096
Ok fine... use dat darn cannon

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>3753096
Pssssheeeeeww!

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>>3753112

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3753125
We win!

Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>3753125
Time to implement Fester tactics again
Ye olde loot and scoot

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>>3753138
With the last command ship gone, the enemy is routed and the squadrons retreat. Leaving you free to loot whatever and raid the resource transports.

Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>3753149
Keep half of them for ourselves

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>>3753156

Do mind that there's a rebel mech right there observing your resource transports retrieval.

Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>3753169
Have Dai'si distract it

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>3753169
Okay, let's just take it to them.

>>3753173
Stop being retarded.

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Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>3753173
Dai is now contacting the rebel pilot to offer thanks and engage in small talk.

Roll 2d100 to see how effective that is

Rolled 44, 23 = 67 (2d100)

>>3753186
>>3753186
E

Rolled 87, 25 = 112 (2d100)

>>3753186

Rolled 69, 4 = 73 (2d100)

>>3753186

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>>3753193
The pilot answered Dai's thanks and further questions quickly and hung up. With the reason that the resources need to be delivered back to Rebel HQ right away.

"Well that went well"

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>3753209
Just get going.

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>>3753218
And so the Black Horse tows the transport ships, following the rebel mech to the drop off point

Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>3753230
And we make it there without incident.

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>>3753239
And sure you did. The rebels took the transport ship off your hands and gave you your payment, freelancer's fee. Again they asked you about joining the rebels instead of being an outside help.

Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>3753247
Consult OP on who the baddies are.

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>3753247
Psssht like we would give up being a spess pirate
Make fucking plot happen

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>>3753252
Me...I uh mean. Bad is pretty subjective, yea. It all depends on what kinda morality you, uh, agree to. Or some shit. And what kinda, uh, government do you support or whatever.

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>3753259
Plüht hoppåns

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>3753259
>>3753264

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>>3753269
Right, so. Doing odd jobs for the rebels may get you cash, but that gets you no closer to your target, the rebel leader. And the last battle confirms that he's not the only one that has a mech in his army. Perhaps a change of plans is needed. Maybe you could do something that would get you into a meeting with the dude. Or something to draw him out.

Or that bigass alien that almost crushed your ship could re-appear and attempt to murderize you and your entire crew again.

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>3753297
Well we are welcomed in their space now, I think, as an ally, maybe we bluff us having some important info and get to meet him personally

Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>3753297
You know, I don't think the rebel leader is actually a bad guy. I feel like we're missing a lot of context.

>Or that bigass alien that almost crushed your ship could re-appear and attempt to murderize you and your entire crew again.
what?

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>3753297
Contact the government and offer to be a double agent. We will continue getting closer to the rebel leader by "joining" rebels while getting funded by government and getting closer to our target by climbing the rebel ranks.

As a bonus that gets police off our ass

then betray everyone

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>>3753304
Ah yes. Good ol' spess pirate trickery.

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3753343
We use proxies tho, who's the most expandable guy on the crew?
...hmmm....we need to hire nameless mooks one of these days

Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>3753343
>>3753348
Nobody on our crew is expendable, at the moment.

File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)

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>>3753348
Well let's have a head count. You got:
- Jester Frenks: The only other mecha pilot on the ship. Still believes you're just a bunch of mercs. Remember to distract him or come up with an excuse whenever you're doing something morally questionable
- Heath and Cliff: bounty hunters that you hired on as muscle whenever you need things done planetside or on sabotage missions alongside Dai. HAven't fucked up so far.
- Bandit: the dog
- The Mechanic: the only one you have maintaining the mechs and the ship. Jester seems weirdly fixated on her for some reason
- Dai'Si'Cho: Your other best bud. Cyborg Ninja. Basically your second in command

Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>3753368
Shiet, look in ships bowels, maybe we took some people for ransom and forgot about them

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>3753368
So nobody's replaceable.

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>>3753376
"Scans and sec cam footage shows there's nobody down there, cap'n" the computer responds.

Perhaps you need to visit a port to recruit some naive poor fool for this mission.

Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>3753368
>Jester seems to be fixated on mechanic for some reason.

Wait what? I know Fester was eyeing her like he knows her but Jester?

Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>3753397
>>3753396

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>3753396
What a shame. Now back to plot.

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>3753396
Aight, lets get some sacrificial lamb

>>3753397
That was actually a honest typo. I meant Fester

>>3753420
>Fester
>Jester
>'ester and 'ester
Hey wait a second!

>>3753420
Oof I thought we were moving to some love triangle spess opera

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>>3753408
"Then setting course for the nearest spaceport, cap'n?"

>>3753426
Now let's not get too hasty here

Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>3753440
Yes...yes we will
don't tempt me to make a shipping chart OP!

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>3753440
Yeah plot the course, also contact the mad doc and ask if he needs something
also to check on Fester

Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>3753440
Dude we have a pair of bounty hunters. We can use them in risk nissions. They barely get any screen time anyway why would we recruit another guy

>>3753456
Because they're not expendable. You wouldn't throw away your bros now, would you?

File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)

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>>3753454
bwoop

"Greetings space pirate inside inferior fleshy body. How can I help you?"

Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>3753462
I'm going to space McDonalds and spaceport, do you want anything? As how's Fester?...arrrr

File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)

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>>3753463
"I am still preparing his body for augmentation. But so far there has been no problems. Your friend seems to be compatible"

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>3753470
Good, good. So, want some fries?

Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>3753470
Oh that's good to know. Well, off to find out if the rebels were justified in rising up.

File: 1.png (4 KB, 500x500)

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>>3753480
"Alright. I'll keep you updated on his condition if there's any major changes. Remember that the flesh is weak."

Bwoop. Call ended

Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>3753501
Send Heath and Cliff

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>3753501
>>3753508
Yeah send them to uh "appropriate" some poor soul

File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)

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>>3753508
"Right boss, you want a new recruit?"

"We can head down to the port and find some for ya"

Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>3753527
Mission commenced.
inb4 we actually find somebody knowledgeable

>>3753527
Get me the meanest so of a bitch who no one here will have qualms with disposing of the moment he stops being useful

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>3753549

File: Shipping chart.png (29 KB, 1287x658)

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Also I now curse this thread with a shipping chart, blame OP for mistyping Fester as Jester

>>3753555
Beautiful.

File: 1.png (5 KB, 500x500)

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>>3753539
And so you sent out Heath and Cliff into port. Now all that left is to wait. In the meantime, you can:
A. Interact with the rest of the crew and build your social links
B. Realize that OP's been hiding the level up screen for multiple threads
C. Customize personal mech
D. Work out, get swole.
E. Practice combat techniques
F. Run a mech simulation
G. Call up sister to check in on her


>>3753555
What is this ancient Sumerian riddle.

Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>3753571
A
And its a shipping chart, those whose circles interact are shipped

>>3753571
>E. Practice combat techniques

File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)

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>>3753582
Luckily nobody realized OP hasn't given a level up despite you being eligible for about 2-3 of them already.

Anyway who are you gonna hang out with ?

Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>3753608
Bandit the cowboy bartender dog

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3753608
That'll be after talk

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>3753608
Dai'Si, while we hold OP at knifepoint for the levels

File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)

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>>3753611
Ah yes, Bandit. You still remember when you first met him. Fester picked him up after your colony was attacked by the aliens. A lost little dog, now an integral part of the crew.

Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>3753647
Take him for a walk after beating up OP for level ups

Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>3753647
...how are ya?

File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)

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>>3753658
Bandit seems happy

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>3753691
Now those levels you owe me
>We say as we enter the basement, OP tied to a chair

Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>3753691
Bandit find something (?)

File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)

6 KB PNG

>>3753706
HMm? What is it boy? Whatcha found?

Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>3753718
Oh no! Its Bandits secret plans to take over the galaxy Festers lucky sheriff badge

File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)

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>>3753728

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3753748
Ah Festers badge, still remember him wearing it in kindergarten and being bullied and beaten because of it, initially by me, then by others and me beating them up and starting a our friendship

File: 1.png (9 KB, 500x500)

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>>3753763
Ah yes. Good times.

Beating up children.

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>3753785
Tell Bandit world domination is not the way. Too much effort.

Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>3753785
As children. Wait, does that badge have a hatch, like a locket would?

File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)

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>>3753791
Especially after you succeed. Now you're the ones running things. Management is way too much work.

Bandit nods in angreement

Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>3753802
Walk around and have an random event

File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)

6 KB PNG

>>3753826
Roll 2d100 to see what happens on your walk with bandit

1-20: Assassins !
21-40: Muggers!
41-60: Insurance salesmen!
61-80: An accident!
81-90: Bumping into someone you know!
91-100: You somehow gain super powers!

Rolled 99, 14 = 113 (2d100)

>>3753848

File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)

10 KB PNG

>>3753855
"Edward Roberts! Time to die!"

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>3753890
No. Stab.

File: 1.png (13 KB, 500x500)

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>>3753898
BUT WHERE?!

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>3753910
Dick first

File: 1.png (5 KB, 500x500)

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>>3753917
The ensuing image is too violent for the children watching this show. So please enjoy this visual metaphor

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>3753929
loot corpse, who is it this time

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>3753929
>>3753941

File: 1.png (12 KB, 500x500)

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>>3753948
Aside from his clothes and weapon, you found an encrypted data storage device. Whoever this dude was, this thing may hold the answer. Will have to get back to the ship and have the computer crack it to find out.

Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>3753957
display corpse as an example to other prospective assassins

Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>3753957
>>3753970
I'm sure the public would understand, given the guy was an obvious assassin.

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>>3753970
With your work done. it's time to finish Bandit's walk.....AND ALSO THIS THREAD. WHICH WILL CONTINUE, TOMORROW. ISH. FUARCK

>>3753957
Search the body for any sort of identification or clues.

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>3753988
remind yourself to lynch the guy who confirmed fester's death

>>3753992
Literally a second too late.

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>3759300
Lynch the person who told OP to kill off Fester

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>>3759302
And who is that? Could it be YOU!

>>3759304
could be

Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>3759304
>>3759307

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>>3759309

Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>3759310
back to the totally not evil pirate walking the bartending dog

Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>3759310
search him

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>>3759312
Doo doo doo. There don't seem to be anything else happening on this walk. Perhaps it's time to take Bandit back

Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>3759318
something happens

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>3759318
Surprise just Kidding it was a space deer out for revenge... well it was suicidal but we made the car jump over it and now its mad at us for not killing it!

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>>3759320

Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>3759321
promise to kill him if he gives you an item

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Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>3759323
Roll 2d100 for persuasion

Rolled 66, 74 = 140 (2d100)

>>3759325

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>3759321
well well well we meet again

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>>3759326
The space deer gives you an item in exchange for death. So what do you want anyway?

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>3759333
A bigger gun for a Winchester's mech

Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>3759333
A blessed blunderbuss for mechs

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>>3759337
"Take this blessing, it will give you what you desire when you return to your mech"

>>3759341
thank you space deer, We will kill you later

Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>3759341
back to socializing with a crew

Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>3759341
Kill him to make peace with him, then >>3759344

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>>3759345
The space deer passes on, into eternity.

Now, who's next?

Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>3759349
a level up

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>>3759352
Clearly you are mistaken friendo. There is no such thing as levelling up here.

Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>3759349
Jester, you want to search his mech for shinies

Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>3759358
Let's go to our mechanic
Happy mechanic - not blown up mech during sortie

Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>3759358
The mechanic

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>>3759362
Once again the fools were denied their rightful reward and I stand victorious.

"Oh hi captain. What brings you here?"

Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>3759368
Some space deer gave me a blessing pertaining to my mech.

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>3759368
Nothing much, I just still can't believe winchester is dead

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>>3759370

"I'm sorry, what"

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>3759373
Nanomachines. Ain't gonna explain shit

Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>3759373
I have an ancestor whose beard was literally made of the cosmos; don't question it.

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>>3759376
"Right, um. Then I'll see what this can do for you mech than, Captain....Speaking of which, what do you call it? Fester calls his the Marshal, what about yours?"

Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>3759380
COW-PUNCHER 2000

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>>3759382
You got something against cows, anon?

Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>3759383
maybe

Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3759383
no lets go play it, its a new stand up arcade fighting game where you fight eachother as Cows

Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>3759383
What would YOU call it, Mr. Fourth Wall Breaker

>>3759383
The Schwarze Flut? I never really thought about it.

Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>3759391
ffs

Is OP kill?