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/qst/ - Quests


PREVIOUSLY ON FUCK QUEST:
-Armstrong and Nelson assisted Vivian, Amber and Saul in kidnapping Dalton.
-Dalton was taken to the Mallory household and subjected to a little enhanced interrogation on the topic of Mara's whereabouts. He wasn't able to give up and useful info.
-Realizing that Dalton's disappearance would invite retaliation from Mara, and without any way to track her down quickly, the group resorted to plan B... or D, such as it was. Amber handed over the implant containing David Darkbloom's consciousness and had it installed inside Dalton, with Cerise and Galatea's assistance.
-Vivian's obsession with Amber only seems to have grown. The two shared a torrid night together at the Mallory house, in Alabaster's former room.
-Meanwhile, Whitney arranged a trip to China and a summit with competitor Broad Dynamics.
-The plane flight there was fun, but the trip itself could have gone better.
-A lot better.
-Alabaster had a disturbing encounter with a local man who apparently has an ocular implant of his own. The man gave some ominous warnings about the future.
-Whitney accidentally angered the company's Taiwanese parts supplier with a diplomatic faux pas, and Broad Dynamics showed off how advanced their foray into Sand Reckoner tech truly is.
-Backed into a corner, Darkbloom Analytics invited Qiangxiang Xi, Broad Dynamics' head researcher, to become the new CTO. She accepted.
-At home, Alabaster received even more bad news. Noelle Keki, former FBI investigator, warned him that ex board member Tyrus Kang has a mole inside the FBI.

Season 2/3/4 Smut Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/u/CeriseSoliloquy (content not allowed on /qst/ will go here)
Season 1 Smut Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/rkSCNTEa

Season 1 Episode Index: https://pastebin.com/u/DirtyCeriseFaggot
Season 2 Episode Index: https://pastebin.com/iDiki7kt
Season 3 Episode Index: https://pastebin.com/FAC5emid
Twitter: https://twitter.com/CeriseSoliloquy


AND NOW, EPISODE 1 OF THE END OF FUCK QUEST:
"Galatea Trick"
>>
First for fucking Chinks
>>
FUCK QUEST IS DEAD

LONG LIVE FUCK QUEST
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>>3775200
FIRST FOR >
>>
>sitting in Dallas airport, about to catch a 17 hour flight

I sure hope my flight has some kind of wifi, but if it doesn't, try not to fuck this up lads
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Sorry for the lateness. I realized at 2 minutes to the hour that I forgot to write a "previously on" recap.
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>>3775207
We only panicked slightly~
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>>3775207
>>
June 2, 2018

Stackleford is walking back to Gal's with a big old bag of Taco Bell in his hammy grip. He's sweating like a hog, pores glistening in the dim blueness of predawn. The streetlights are coming back on, so he guesses that all the trouble at Darkbloom Analytics must be finished, one way or another. He's a mess of frayed nerves and he uses food to quell them; even now he gnaws on a nacho fry as he trudges down the sidewalk. He wonders whether he's walking straight to his death. He very well could be. Maybe gangsters will be lying in wait at Gal's, American or Russian, or something else entirely. Maybe the police will be there. But where else can he go? He isn't safe anywhere, anymore. He looks sadly down at his maimed hand, the stumps left behind by Stasi. It still hurts days later.

As he rounds a corner, he hears a pssst from the narrow corridor between two buildings on his left. It almost makes him faint with fright, just the sound of someone hissing at him -- he's not capable of dealing with surprises right now. He tries to hurry past as if he didn't hear, but then the person calls out: "Stacks." He stops. It's Camelia.
>>
>>3775215
Wait
No
what
what
>>
>>3775215
>but then the person calls out: "Stacks." He stops. It's Camelia.
Fuck
>>
>>3775215
>June 2nd
>Camelia

WHICH ONE
>>
She's obviously not in a good way. Her face is streaked with gunky brown grime -- blood, perhaps a mix of hers and David Darkbloom's. Her blue hair is matted and her skin is pallid. She sways slightly on her feet as if trying to stand in tropical force winds.

She isn't wearing her patented eyepatch.

This is the first time Stackleford has ever seen underneath that eyepatch of hers. Her eye is fucked up, to put it politely. It looks like the eye of a zombie in a horror movie -- white in the middle, bloodshot, the skin surrounding the socket permanently black and scarred, half-necrotic really. No wonder she keeps it covered.

"I need a favor," she says. Her voice is tired and soft, far cry from her usual manner.

Stackleford is hesitant. "I... I'm sorry... I d-don't think I should be seen with you in pub--"

The first thing Stackleford registers is the muzzle of the gun pointed at him; he recognizes it as the very same gun Camelia murdered David Darkbloom with only a few hours ago. So of course that means she's willing to use it. The second thing Stackleford registers, directing his gaze now upward, is Camelia's scowling grimace.

"I'm not done with you," she says.

Stackleford holds his hands up -- finger stumps and all -- dropping his grease-stained bag of food to the ground with a plop. Camelia holsters her gun. She pulls a folded piece of paper from her jacket pocket and forces it into Stackleford's palm, saying simply: "take this."

He's shivering. "Why?"

Camelia does not answer. Instead she goes back for her tracksuit's jacket pocket, this time producing a switchblade. Stackleford takes a halting couple steps backward, but stops stone-still when Camelia flicks the business end open. She keeps him fixed in her cold gaze for a few moments, blade in hand, wordlessly daring him to make another move. He doesn't.

She puts the tip of the blade to her right eye's tear duct.

She takes a deep breath.

She gouges it in.

Even from five paces away, Stackleford nonetheless hears the wet squish of it. This comes followed by a wail of pain not even Camelia can stifle. Stackleford watches in slackjawed horror as Camelia roots around with the tip of the knife inside her own eye, blood spurting like a tiny sprinkler. At last she finishes, and drops the bloody switchblade to the sidewalk. From her ruined eye she unspools and removes the long thin wire. It's like a gory twist on the old magician's trick of pulling a neverending rope of handkerchiefs from your sleeve.

Stackleford is close to vomiting by the time she's done. "Are... are you okay?"

Camelia, through a mask of pain, the right side of her face dripping blood like a faucet that can't be shut completely off, smiles. She goddamn smiles. "Ever get a little fleck of popcorn stuck in your gums? ... know how great it feels to finally dig it out?"

Stackleford opens and closes his lips without finding words to accompany it.
>>
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>>3775215
>>
>>3775228
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
>>3775228
OH

OH DEAR
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>>3775228
holy fucking god
>>
>>3775228
>>
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>>3775207
enjoy your vacation in jail op studios, keeping the internet waiting is a felon
>>
Camelia uses her jacket to wipe her gore off the device, and then forces Stackleford to take it as well. She deposits it in his palm and curls his hand into a fist around it for him.

"Take that implant, and the note I gave you, to the Rutabaga Cafe. Do it now. Put them under the last bench in the back, on the right. Set them next to a USB stick that's there on the ground already."

"Why?"

Camelia frowns. "It's my make-a-wish wish. That's why."

"But--"

"Stop asking questions. Just go. And when you're done, tell no one. Not Alabaster. Not Whitney, or Rose, or Cerise. No one. You understand? If you tell a single soul about any of this, I will find you. Don't make me mad."

Stackleford stands there stupidly.

"Well?" Camelia demands. "What are you waiting for?"

Stackleford is much paler even than usual, as he makes to leave.

"Oh. Stacks. One final thing."

Miserable, he stops, turns.

Camelia is seriously struggling to remain upright. She's swaying in place even worse than before. Her sneakers make scuffing sounds on the concrete as her feet toddle beneath her in their fight to keep her standing. "You should lose a little weight, huh?"

"Uuuh."

"I'm being serious. Start working out. You'll feel better."

"...Ok."

"One more final thing. Brush your teeth every once in a while. The people around you will feel better."

"Ok."

She stumbles forward to walk past him, but he's blocking the way, staring at her creepily, and won't budge. She sighs. "What is it?"

"W-when...?"

"Once in the morning and once before bed, is what dentists recommend, I think..."

"No..."

Camelia waits for him to say.

"When will we see you again?"

She considers it. "Sooner than you think," she says.

She nudges Stackleford aside and continues on her way to who knows where. Her gait is slow, tipsy and uncoordinated. Near the end of the block, she leans precariously to one side, almost falling, but rights herself. She lurches around the corner, and then she's gone. Even Stackleford is smart enough to know that she's dying.

SEASON 4 OP: https://vimeo.com/354421891
SEASON 4 OP (Creditless): https://vimeo.com/354421989
>>
>>3775228
What the fuck is even happening anymore?
>>
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>>3775244
It all goes back to Stackleford.
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>>3775244
So that's how Amber got the implant, huh?
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>>3775244
>camelia actually inspired stackleford to get fit

Oddly wholesome
>>
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Over the intercom, a monotone secretary announces that Amber Catch-a-cratic is wanted at the registrar's office. That's a new one, as far as ways to fuck up your last name go. You'll write that one down in your notebook along with the others for sure.

Gilroy Technical College is sort of like a poor man's ITT Tech, all full of glassy eyed veterans, GED recipients and sad middle managers trying to jumpstart stagnated careers. As five years ago, so now; they opened their doors to the displaced students of North High pending reconstruction of the burnt-down school grounds. The commute back and forth from Palo Alto is going to be a bit of a bitch, but thankfully you've got a helpful volunteer on that account.

You find your way to an elevator and press the button for the lobby. But just before the door slides smoothly shut, a hand shoots through the gap and pries them open again. And then into the cramped space steps Auburn Brantly.
>>
>>3775244
THIS ONLY CREATES MORE QUESTIONS
>>
>>3775256
Ohhhh boy.
>>
>>3775256
Have unironically been looking forward to this
>>
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He turns and faces forward with you. "Hello, Amber."

"President Catachresis. Please."

"Where are you going in the middle of the school day?" He demands.

"Pushy," you tsk. "Do you think you're my owner or something?"

"I think we have a StuCo meeting this afternoon. If you keep missing these things, we'll be forced to kick you out of the presidency."

You fold your arms. "Fucking try it, needle-dick. I've got extenuating circumstances."

"Sure. Fine. Since you've got more important places to be, I suppose I'll just have to pick up the slack." He shrugs, grinning. "I'll take care of all this hard, boring President stuff while you're gone. Don't worry about a thing."

You flip him off.

"So crass -- so unbecoming. You're really not fit to be President."

"This StuCo meeting is about a plan to organize volunteer cleanup duty at NHS -- right?" You say. "That should be in your wheelhouse anyway. Aren't you the one that ordered Tongtong to burn down the school?"

"A paranoid conspiracy theorist as always. I see selling out to take part in the dirty process of electoralism hasn't changed you a bit."

The elevator stops, and you step out. He follows.
>>
>>3775256
>Over the intercom, a monotone secretary announces that Amber Catch-a-cratic is wanted at the registrar's office. That's a new one, as far as ways to fuck up your last name go. You'll write that one down in your notebook along with the others for sure.
I've seen this shit happen all the time. I'm convinced they do it on purpose as some kind of inside joke
>>
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You spin on your heels and stand there in the empty hallway with him.

"It's not a conspiracy theory," you say. "We all know you and Tongtong were bumping uglies. Your yellow fever is well documented. But you really did a number on her, didn't you? You got her so twisted up that she'd do anything for you."

"You are disgusting. As expected."

"But I would have expected better of you. Isn't what you do with her, like, colonializing her body or something?"

He examines his hand, scratching the nail of his index finger with the nail of his thumb. "If she consents to being colonized..." He hooks his thumb in his trouser pocket now and adopts a defiant stance: "Anyway, Tongtong acted alone. Now she's in a mental health facility, where I hope she gets the treatment she needs. And I don't want to hear about morals and propriety from you. You stink like sex."

"You're mistaken. But I'll forgive you. You aren't used to being near people whose bodies produce measurable quantities of testosterone. It's got you confused."

"Since you're so into politics now," Auburn says, "here's a question for you. How has your opinion on George W. Bush changed?"

You try not to wince, and you're not sure whether you're successful. That little shit. Could a question so specific and out of left field possibly be coincidental? Or is he the one who was in your bedroom -- inside your safe? That's impossible, though. A little fuckweasel beta like Raisin Brant couldn't possibly have the wherewithal to crack a safe. Not to mention the fucking temerity.

"George W. Bush is a murderer," you reply. "Pig disgusting."

"Of course," he says, smoothing his trouser leg. "That's always been a rare point we can agree on. But since you're so interested in dictators, maybe your opinion on Soviet strongmen is different? How do you feel about Vladimir Putin?"

That cinches it. It was him all along. He's the intruder who busted into your safe and scared you enough to make you pack your bags for Alabaster Soliloquy's off-brand Playboy Mansion. You wonder wryly to yourself what his reaction would be if he knew that.

The intercom sounds: "Amber Coochiecrisis, to the registrar's office. Amber Coochiecrisis. Registrar's office." That secretary is just full of 'em today.

[ ] Confront Auburn about breaking into your safe.
[ ] Leave it be.
>>
>>3775268
>Coochiecrisis

o i am laffin

>[x] Confront Auburn about breaking into your safe.
>>
>>3775268
>[x] Leave it be.
He's trying to get a rise out of us, let's not take the bait.

>coochiecrisis
Fuckin lol
>>
>>3775268
>[x] Confront Auburn about breaking into your safe.
We kill him next.
>>
>>3775268
>[x] Confront Auburn about breaking into your safe.
>>
>>3775268
>[ ] Leave it be.
If my time on 4chan has taught me anything, it's to not take the bait

>Coochiecrisis
That got a good chcukle out of me
>>
>>3775268
>[x] Leave it be.
I feel like option 1 is what he wants
>>
>>3775268
[x] leave him alone
this is bait and i refuse to take it
>>
>>3775273
Actually, rethinking it, it's true. I don't want to play this douche-canoe's game.

>[x] Leave it be.
>>
>>3775268
>[X] Leave it be.
>>
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>[x] Leave it be.

"I'm not a fan," you say. "He's like a shitty cash-grab sequel. The Episode VII to Stalin's Episode IV, if you get what I'm saying."

"You're mixed up with terrible people. I should report your activity to the--"

You've got him up against the wall before he can react, hand around his throat.

He gasps, and reaches down for something. You stay his hand by grabbing his wrist. And with your knee, you feel it -- something hard in his pants. Not that. Cold and metallic.

"You brought a gun to school?" You breathe. "Trenchcoat mafia creep-ass motherfucker. Fuck."

"You're one to talk," he says through gritted teeth.

"Leave me alone, Raisin Brant. I'm serious. If you fuck with me, you will regret it."

You step back, and let him go. He massages his throat where you held it, not signaling pain -- but more a muted annoyance.

"Oh -- there you are." You turn in the direction of the voice. Standing at the opposite end of the hallway, over by the mouth of the registrar's office, is Dalton Cantor. Or at least who appears as Dalton Cantor.
>>
>>3775302
oh god
>>
>>3775302
>Dalton Cantor
Why The fuck is he here?
>>
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>>3775302
And the wild ride begins.
>>
>>3775316
read last episode
>>
>>3775302
Glad to see Dalton has forgiven us for all the waterboarding! Just some good gags between pals, yknow?
>>
>>3775316
He's here for the reveal that Dalton isn't looking for us, but Auburn, who is his stepson.
>>
>>3775318
?
>>
You thought it would be Vivian picking you up today, but instead you've got the main man himself. This is too good of an opportunity to pass up.

You put a coquettish finger through your hair and twirl it. "Daddy!" You say in your best impression of a bimbo.

Darkbloom blinks, aghast. You skip over to him like a little girl playing hopscotch. Auburn, of course, follows.

"You -- you're Dalton Cantor," Auburn says, surprised.

"I--" Darkbloom says. This is beyond a compromising situation. He is, as far as anyone knows, a top-ranking executive at a major company, and now he's been recognized by a high school student -- while you, a high school girl yourself, hang off of him like a hooker.

"Let's goooo already," you whine. "I wanna play!"

Auburn is seething, and can't hide it. Darkbloom is trying to get free of you, but you won't let go. Between the two of them, it's impossible to say who's more uncomfortable.

"He isn't your father--" Auburn begins, sputtering.

"Duuuh. He's my Daddy."

"I am no such--"

"Do you have the hotel booked? C'mon. Let's go!"

Auburn's lips tremble, and he points an accusing finger at Darkbloom. "You are vile."

"You are -- misunderstanding the situation, young man. This isn't--"

But Auburn is already stomping off.
>>
>>3775327
pfffffffffffffffff
>>
>>3775327
Jesus
>>
>>3775327
Yes, yes this is good, I like this.
>>
>>3775327
Kek, well played Amber
>>
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>>3775327
>>
>>3775327
You can't keep doing this OP, my best girl ranking is already overcrowded.
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>>3775327
Fucking good
>>
>>3775327
>Auburn is seething
I hope we get to see these words a lot more over the course of this season

Also am I alone in the fact that Amber saying Daddy does things to me
>>
>>3775343
Nope.
>>
>>3775343
The "mister" scene is one of my all time favorites behind any given Alex scene, and the Skype calls.
>>
>>3775343
>Also am I alone in the fact that Amber saying Daddy does things to me
No, no you are not. We should get her to say it more often if you catch my drift
>>
>>3775327
I never thought being Amber would be so much fun!
>>
>>3775343
That really seems to be her kink. Even though we only had one Camelia lewd in S2, she never displayed this. Really gives the "Not-exactly-the-first-Amber" theory some strength.
>>
>>3775349
It wouldn't be as hot to say it before she was a high school student so I can definitely see why she would hold off on it then
>>
>>3775348
Shes, like, the most fun. Whitney's fun, but Whitney doesn't have a hardcore desire to fuck everything up for everyone.
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>>3775349
>That really seems to be her kink
It's a good kink, we should encourage it
>>
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You let go of Darkbloom's arm, and let your bubbly facade boil away like vapor.

"You are impossible," Darkbloom fumes.

"Thank you. Where's your daughter?"

"She is in the registrar's office. Waiting for you. But I see you live according to your own schedule, as always." He turns and begins down the hall. You trot behind. "Do not test me. I do not have time for your craziness, Amber. The only reason you're involved at all is because Vivian is so insistent. But if you won't be reasonable, I will make her agree to forge ahead without you."

"Pff. Sure. You can't do shit, asswipe. You don't get to make any decisions."

Darkbloom ignores you.

"Your daughter is a rapist, by the by."

He casts a glance back over his shoulder, disturbed but not terribly surprised at this news. "Whitney? It's Alabaster's influence. He's an awful perv--"

"Vivian."

"What?"

"Vivian. Not Whitney. Vivian raped the shit out of me the other night."

"Preposterous." He stops, turns and faces you. That one definitely was a surprise.

"Ask her yourself if you don't believe me. Fuck. Why would I make that up?"

"Because you're a prevaricator, a manipulator and a terrorist."

"Well, yes, but actually no. Everyone wants to say I'm Camelia but frankly I'm not bought in on that theory yet. What I know for sure is that you're a man-sized twat who thought he was a god and died like a dog. True or false?"

"Fal--"

You make a loud, obnoxious buzzer noise.

"You murdered me--"

You do the buzzer sound again.

Darkbloom grabs you by the wrist.

You become all at once aware that you are very small. That Darkbloom is very tall and very strong. Your lip curls up, you begin to say something. But Darkbloom is already turning around again. He tugs you with him, walking briskly, and you have no choice but to stumble and try to keep up.

"What the fuck!" You cry.

"If you want to tell everyone that I'm your quote-unquote 'daddy' then I'm happy to oblige. Someone has to keep you in check, and it may as well be me."

"You motherf--"

"My patience is at an end, Amber. Stop prattling and hurry along."

As you approach the registrar's office, Vivian steps forth from it, and is taken aback indeed to see Darkbloom toting you around like an unruly toddler.
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>>3775365
>"Your daughter is a rapist, by the by."
Kek
>>
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"We need to fire everyone who Tyrus ever hired, worked with, or so much as had a fucking conversation with."

Usually Whitney's penchant for firing people is a bit wearying but in this case, you fully agree.

"Understood," Spancer says. "I will go through our rolls and terminate any employee with ties to Mr. Kang."

"Now wait just a cotton-picking chotto!" Rose2 says, hand on her hip. She leans way forward and wags her index finger in the air. "Didn't Spancer himself play with Tyrus at the tennis tourney?"

"That's right," you say. "He did."

"I cannot self-terminate," Spancer says. "But after I have completed the current directive, I will willingly resign."

"I don't--" Whitney begins. Then, to Rose2: "shut the fuck up, will you? I like Spancer. I trust him. He's basically a robot programmed to be loyal to this company."

"Does he even have a place of his own?" You ask. "I'm pretty sure he lives here. -- Do you live here, Spancer?"

"Negative."

"Anyway," Whitney says, turning her attention back to Spancer. "I order you not to go. I order you!"

"Understood."

"We need you," Whitney continues. "In fact, I want to promote you."

Spancer sits there passively, with no outward sign that this news has made him either pleased or displeased.

"We're down a CFO," Whitney explains. "I could make Viv pull double duty, but that's not fair to her. She's got enough bullshit to deal with. So I'm slotting Armstrong over to that spot -- that leaves his spot open." She extends a hand. "Long story short, I'd like to bid a warm adieu to our new CHRM!"

"Adieu means goodbye," you tell her.

"Shove it."

Spancer shakes her hand robotically -- once, twice, a third time, and then relinquishes his grip. Whitney doesn't let on, but as she pulls her hand away, you see her rubbing it as if the force of the handshake hurt her.

"All right then," Whitney says. "Get to firing."

He stands, turns in a precise 180 degrees, and marches out.

"Weird guy," Whitney says as he shuts the door.
>>
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>>3775365
>He casts a glance back over his shoulder, disturbed but not terribly surprised at this news.
>>
>>3775383
Spancer is great
>>
>>3775383
>Now wait just a cotton-picking chotto!"
H e h.


>no "You are Alabaster Soliloquy..."
[nervous laughter]
>>
"We're gonna need a new security detail, too," Whitney says, staring pensively from her window, one hand behind her back. It's so strange to see her taking charge like this, making decisions on her own -- and the right ones, even. The disappearance of Alex and her mother has lit a fire in her that you've never seen before.

"Any ideas?" You ask.

"Noelle is free, right?"

"You cannot be serious. First of all -- you hate Noelle."

"She warned us about Tyrus. She can't be all bad."

"Noelle is so cool!" Rose2 says. "She's got this super mysterious vibe, you know? Like she's a delinquent who got her life together and she's hiding a really dark, edgy past that haunts her..."

"Who invited you here?" You say. "I swear to God, it's like you just show up wherever the fuck you please."

"Hai!" She salutes you with the back of her palm pressed flat to her forehead. Her knuckles make a hollow noise against her skull.

"I'll leave this one up to you," Whitney says. "You know Noelle better than any of us." She nudges you. "Biblically, even."

"Err."

"Don't even lie. Don't even joke us."

You shake your head.

"So you can decide whether we can trust her or not," Whitney finishes.

[ ] Hire her.
[ ] Don't hire her.
>>
>>3775383
>"Now wait just a cotton-picking chotto!"
I love her
>>
>>3775398
>[x] Hire her.
>>
>>3775398
>[ ] Hire her.
>>
>>3775398
>[x] Hire her.
>>
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>>3775383
>Now wait just a cotton-picking chotto!

It's also nice to get some Spancer screentime.
>>
>>3775398
>[x] Hire her.
What a fucking tangled mess these people's positions have all become. I love it. I want more.
>>
>>3775398
>[x] hire her
Naturally.
>>
>>3775398
>[ ] Hire her.
As if there was any other choice
>>
>>3775398
>[x] Hire her.
>>
>>3775398
>[X] Hire her.
>>
>>3775398
>[X] Hire her.
Easiest choice in the series
>>
>>3775398
>[X] Hire her.
>>
>>3775228
I'm seriously going to have to reread fuckquest and write a time line so I know what the fuck is going on.
>>
>>3775398
>[ ] Hire her.
>>
>[x] Hire her.

You step into the frigid interior of Shake 'Em Up, a local ice creamery specializing in milkshakes where you arranged to meet Noelle. Though it's the first time you've been, the place is a minor sensation, and has 10 or 11 locations around Silicon Valley.

Whitney pulls her phone from her purse and shows the screen to a disinterested cashier girl. "20% off," Whitney tells her.

The cashier taps the offer code into her computer.

"A fucking groupon, Whitney, really?" You say.

"What? It's good value!"

"You're a billionaire."

"Yeah. And I wanna stay that way."

You grumble. Turning your head upward, you scan the menu. Mint chocolate chip sounds good. "Yeah, I'll take a--"

"We'll take a strawberry banana shake," Whitney tells the girl. "Two straws, please."

You huff. "What, is this an executive decision?" You say.

"Ayep. A little birdie told me that the strawberry banana shake here is to die for. I want a second opinion, though. It's important."

"What's so important about whether a milkshake is good or not?"

"If it's good enough, I'm buying the place."

That's Whitney. She'll scrupulously collect her 20% discount on a milkshake, then turn around and buy the entire restaurant on a whim. You'd chastise her for being so erratic but her investments usually pay off. She once made a bet with Vivian on who could get the biggest return on $1 million of seed money. Vivian spent weeks researching startups and proudly showed you all her statistical analyses that pointed her towards the investments she settled on. Whitney threw darts at a board with companies written on it. Whitney won the bet.
>>
>>3775456
YES
YES
YES
YES
YES
>>
>>3775456
I'm so retardedly happy about this scene.
>>
>>3775446
It seems to be a little bit after Camelia killed Darkbloom
>>
>>3775456
Based Whitney
>>
>>3775456
and here's Whitney, proving once again why she's the best.
>>
>>3775478
SMARTEST HUMAN EVER
>>
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My wife Chloe is a miracle of the universe!
>>
Whitney sits across from you, and you sit beside Noelle. Noelle seems somewhat perplexed by the way you and Whitney share your milkshake like a couple of teens from a 50s sitcom. Maybe it goes against the image she had in her head -- of both of you.

She's also perplexed about Whitney's offer. "Last month you were shouting 'fuck you' at me from the top of a balcony. Now you want me working for you?"

"You don't get it. This is like one of your Japanimes where two enemies have to team up to face an even BIGGER enemy."

Noelle leans back. "So you want me to be your Pinkerton."

"Yes!"

"Do you know what a Pinkerton is?"

"...No."

"I just don't understand," Noelle says. "I mean. You don't hold any kind of -- I don't know, grudge?"

"Naaah. I don't hold grudges, pig."

Noelle is clearly unsure how to take that.

"We'll pay you," you tell her. "Whitney's a good boss. And you do need a job, right?"

"Yeah. I need a job because of you fuckers."

"So consider this our way of making amends," you try.

"Uh huh. How much are you offering?"

Whitney, who's been slurping on the drink since the moment she said the word "pig," finally lets her straw drop from her lips. She's already siphoned up about half the enormous milkshake. Her expression is vacant as the gears in her head spin. "I dunno. What's fair? $1 million per year?"

Noelle can't conceal the exhalation of surprise she makes, as if someone has punched her in the chest.

"Shit. I'm lowballing you. $2 million a year."

Noelle gawks, and then says nothing. Maybe she's thinking that if she stays quiet, Whitney will keep hiking the price to infinity. And she would, but you step in. "That sounds good," you say. "Noelle?"

"Y-yeah -- yeah. That sounds pretty fucking good."

"Then it's a deal?" You ask.

She shakes your hand.

"Where do you live?" Whitney asks.

"An apartment over on--"

"Wrong."

"I'm -- I'm sorry. Wrong? I have an apartment--"

"Wrong. You live in my house. This is a full-time job, Noelle. Full time. That's why I'm paying you so much. You'll be living with us."

"...Fuck."

Whitney does her little wheeze-laugh and keeps sucking on her drink. Through a mouth of half-melted pink cream, she tells you: "This shit rocks. I'm buying it. We'll take Shake 'Em Up national."

"That's a little bold," Noelle says, propping her elbows on the table and resting her chin on the backs of interlaced fingers. "Do you have experience running a restaurant chain?"

"None," Whitney admits. "But we do need to di-vers-if-y, and why not start with some bitching ice cream? Anyway. I pay you to keep me safe. Not to talk."

Noelle frowns. She obviously doesn't like how quickly this relationship has shifted in Whitney's head. "If you take a bath on this place, don't blame me," Noelle says. "You know this restaurant only has a B from the health inspector? Just saying."

You feel a bit ill just hearing that, but it fazes Whitney not at all. She says: "we'll fix that. We'll get the best people on it right away."
>>
>>3775497
>"Wrong. You live in my house. This is a full-time job, Noelle. Full time. That's why I'm paying you so much. You'll be living with us."
NAIL HOUSE
>>
>>3775497
>"Wrong. You live in my house. This is a full-time job, Noelle. Full time. That's why I'm paying you so much. You'll be living with us."
FUCK YEAH
>>
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>>3775497
>>
>>3775497
Oh boy oh boy oh boy
>>
>>3775456
>Whitney threw darts at a board with companies written on it. Whitney won the bet.
Titty Bowser had a HUGE effect on nintendo's stock price, fyi.
>>
>>3775497
>semi-permanent Noelle
I've been waiting for this.
>>
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"They don't want to oust her from the CEO position."

You sit in Vivian's living room. You and she watch as Darkbloom speaks over the phone to Mara. The phone is connected by lightning cable to a PC, which Galatea sits at -- recording, and trying to trace any identifying info.

"Keep pushing them," Mara responds.

"Of course. But we need to decide on contingencies. If they don't agree--"

"If they don't agree, we will simply have to kill them. All of them."

Vivian's eyes shimmer with rage.

"That would invite too much scrutiny," Darkbloom says. "We are too close to the end for that... we must tread lightly."

"Again with this over-cautious nonsense. Once Alex Best and David's little cunt mistress finish their work, what difference will it make who knows anything of what has transpired? Focus on the bigger picture, Dalton."

Now it's Darkbloom's turn to simmer with rage. Hearing Mara speak of Renee like that got under his skin, big time.

"How goes their progress?" He asks, masking his anger with smooth nonchalance.

"Need to know basis, Dalton."

"Of course."

"And how goes your progress on the other detail?"

This is bad. What other detail? You have no idea. And neither does he. He tries for a vague non-answer: "I am still working that end."

"We can't accept any delays. You must find a way. Do it yourself if need be."

"Understood."

"I will speak with you again tomorrow."

"Yes."

She hangs up.

You glance Gal's way. She shakes her head sadly. Nada.

"Great," you grumble. "Big fat fucking nothing on all fronts."

"Mother is speaking of drastic action," Vivian says. "We need to press her harder for information that could pinpoint--"

"I know Mara better than anyone," Darkbloom says. "We cannot press too hard. She will grow suspicious."

"We need to do something pretty fucking quick here," you say. "She's talking about killing everyone. That's not bide-our-time talk. That's roadtrip-to-Vail-right-fucking-now talk."

"Amber has a point," Vivian says.

"I can play this out," Darkbloom tells her. "I can find her location with enough time in contact with her. We do not need to go in guns blazing and alert her before we have the upper hand."

[ ] Press for direct action now.
[ ] Let Darkbloom keep working Mara.
>>
What'll it be tonight, /fq/-tachi? The end of TI9 is looking like it'll be pretty exciting so far!
>>
>>3775533
>[X] Let Darkbloom keep working Mara.
>>
>>3775533
>[ ] Let Darkbloom keep working Mara.
Hell, he's the person who's been dealing with her and containing her the longest. I'll trust his judgement here.
>>
>>3775533
>[X] Let Darkbloom keep working Mara.
>>
>>3775533
>[x] Let Darkbloom keep working Mara.
>>
>>3775533
>[ ] Let Darkbloom keep working Mara.
Let David be Davi-er, Dalton. That's why he's there.
>>
>>3775533
>[x] Let Darkbloom keep working Mara.
Scary. What other detail?
>>
>>3775533
>[x] Let Darkbloom keep working Mara.
He knows.
>>
>>3775533
>[ ] Let Darkbloom keep working Mara.
The reason we brought him on is because we can trust him on this shit, it'd be retarded to ignore him
>>
>>3775533
>[X] Let Darkbloom keep working Mara.
>>
>>3775533
> [X] Let Darkbloom keep working Mara.
It's time to finally trust David
>>
>>3775533
> [X] Let Darkbloom keep working Mara.

The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and all that
>>
>[x] Let Darkbloom keep working Mara.

Darkbloom stands and starts for the front door.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" You demand.

"Home. To my loving family."

"The facade must be maintained," Vivian tells you. "We cannot allow Dalton Cantor's loved ones to grow suspicious, either."

"Suspicious, fuck. You want to let David Darkbloom roam around on his own?"

"Not particularly," Vivian says. Darkbloom can't help looking hurt.

"Have him leave his wife and kids," you say. "He can come live here, with you."

"Under what pretense?" Vivian says.

"Under the pretense that older men leave their wives for pretty young girls like you all the time."

"That is absurd," Darkbloom says. "Dalton Cantor is many things, but he is a committed family man. His wife and children would never believe such a story."

But Vivian is less skeptical. "Why not?" She says airily.

"For them to believe that their patriarch would suddenly and without warning turn their entire lives upside-down to elope--"

"Don't patriarchs often lead double lives?" Vivian says. "Don't they often do things for selfish reasons, leaving their families in sudden disarray?"

Darkbloom sighs deeply. "And if Mara finds out?"

"Then you are using sex to manipulate me, and turn me against Whitney," Vivian says.

Darkbloom doesn't like even the mental image of it.

"Tell Dalton's family that you are leaving them for me," Vivian instructs. "You will stay here, where we can coordinate more reliably."

"You don't trust me."

"No. I do not."

"This is not the right course of action," Darkbloom says. "You must see reason. I will keep up appearances with Dalton Cantor's family. There is no need to try to -- to cage me, like some sort of wild animal."

[ ] Let him stay at Dalton's house.
[ ] Make him live with Vivian.
>>
>>3775383
>"I cannot self-terminate," Spancer says. "But after I have completed the current directive, I will willingly resign."

God I love Spancer
>>
>>3775586
>[X] Make him live with Vivian.
>>
>>3775586
>[x] Let him stay at Dalton's house.
>>
>>3775586
Sorry Vivian, have to disagree with you here. This sounds like an awful idea.

>[x] Let him stay at Dalton's house.
>>
>>3775586
[X] Let him stay at Dalton's house.
>>
>>3775586
>[x] Let him stay at Dalton's house.
I really really hate this choice.
>>
>>3775586
>[x] Make him live with Vivian.
This is safer.
>>
Also important to note, even the real Dalton knows that Vivian allies herself with Whitney mostly out of her obsession with Ally. Nobody would believe this charade for half a second.
>>
>>3775586
>[ ] Let him stay at Dalton's house.
We’re doing this to avoid suspicion.
>>
>>3775586
>[ ] Let him stay at Dalton's house.
I think at this point, any machinations David may have would be a walk in the park compared to everything else going on.
>>
>>3775497
>"Wrong. You live in my house. This is a full-time job, Noelle. Full time. That's why I'm paying you so much. You'll be living with us."
>"...Fuck."

Fuck is correct, Noelle.
>>
>>3775586
>[ ] Let him stay at Dalton's house.
Though it kinda feels like the facade has a greater chance of being unraveled when there's frequent contact with the Dalton family. Try to keep it at the necessary minimum.
>>
>>3775519

I would like to know more
>>
>>3775586
>[X] Let him stay at Dalton's house.
It's hard to believe that Mara wouldn't get suspicious of the sudden shaking up of things, especially because Vivian is already living with us, and I guarantee that Mara is aware enough of that relationship.
Working in one of the largest technology companies in the world in an executive position should be pretense enough to call him away at a moment's notice.
He might actually be safer at Dalton's house, honestly, and he fooled us once, knowing about SR, so he should be able to do it again to a reasonable extent.

Not that I trust the guy.
>>
>[ ] Let him stay at Dalton's house.

"I am going," Darkbloom announces. "And I am going alone."

Darkbloom waits for anyone to say boo. No one does.

"I will see you all tomorrow," he says. "Goodnight."

He doesn't exactly slam the door on his way out, but he doesn't shut it gently, either.

You kick back on Vivian's couch, propping your feet up on the table.

"Please do not do that," she says.

You stick your tongue out at her.

"I will be forced to punish you if you persist..."

"What? Are you gonna rape me again?" You nod at Gal. "Right here in front of Cerise's fiancee and everything?"

Vivian laughs haughtily. "If needs be. She has seen worse."

Gal squeaks. She looks away, blushing. "i..."

"We're joshing you," you tell her. "Well. I am, anyway. I don't know about this crazy bitch."

"are you really camelia" Gal asks suddenly.

You blink. You clear your throat. "Uh. Maybe. I dunno."

"i missed you," she says. "if you are."

"Would you feel better if I said I missed you too?"

She nods.

"Well, I did."
>>
>>3775586
>[ ] Let him stay at Dalton's house.
Anybody with half a brain would realize that something is up
>>
>>3775622
Gives me an feeling so complicated.
>>
>>3775586
> [X] Let him stay at Dalton's house.
I mean, what's the risk, he's not gonna side with Mara and surely by now he realizes that taking a third side means fighting his daughters and former lover
>>
>>3775622
Cute
>>
>>3775622
;_;
>>
>>3775622
Keep her safe Ambs ;_;
>>
>>3775586
>[ ] Let him stay at Dalton's house.

I feel bad for his family, honestly.
>>
>>3775650
It's probably an upgrade. #darkbloombestdad
>>
>>3775650
His new family is probably going to be confused that he's suddenly speaking so eloquently.
>>
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You sit with Nelson in a conference room, idly passing the time.

"You and your wife have such a toxic relationship," he says.

"Yeah? And how do you recommend that I fix that?"

"I dunno, man. Be more complimentary?"

"Have you met Rose? Do you need me to introduce you to her?"

"I'm just saying--"

He stops himself short as the woman herself walks in. You nod at him and whisper, "watch this."

You glance Rose over from head to toe, looking for something you can use. Spotting it, you cut her off before she can begin talking: "Did you do something with your hair today?"

"What?" She barks.

"Your hair. It's different today. But I can't put my finger on how."

"I--" she stammers. She's already blushing. She fiddles with one of the pins holding her ridiculous drills in place. "I've got some new hairpins in." She bows slightly, so you can see the crown of her head, and the bronze pins there. You noticed them right away of course, but you wanted to give her an opportunity to show off.

"Oh," you say, "how cute."

Rose goes suddenly rigid. Her right eye twitches. "Cute? I'm not trying to be 'cute', Alabaster. You fucking prick. How dare you use such infantilizing, sexist language towards your own wife. Disgusting. That's a classic microagression. Not that I should have expected any better of you. But you can't just -- hey -- are you listening to me? You misogynistic--"

You lace your fingers behind your head, and let Rose's tirade wash over you. You glance over and grin smugly at Nelson.
>>
>>3775655
Didn't he already do that though?
>>
>>3775656
Now this. I love this.
>>
>>3775655
This is what I'm most afraid of, honestly. Darkbloom is kinda stiff. I mean, remember when he was pretending to be Cerise?
>>
>>3775656
>Making rose mad by treating her gently and only having sex with her for the sole purpose of procreation
>>
>>3775656
I love them
>>
>>3775656
Best
>>
>>3775657
I'm honestly not sure. Dalton isn't really a character that's stuck with me. But speaking like a walking thesaurus seems like a trait unique to David and Vivian in this story.
>>
>>3775650
Wait until Mara eventually murders Dalton to cover her tracks, totally irrespective of whether or not she knows he's really David.

>>3775656
>how cute
Good to see we've been brushing up on our Chinese.
>>
>>3775656
>"Oh," you say, "how cute."
>>
>>3775656
greatest love story ever told
>>
>>3775670
He wasn't a walking thesaurus per se but he usually spoke quite eloquently. His family might think it's odd but nothing to write home about
>>
>>3775676
Besides, David knew Dalton for at least a while right? He probably has a decent grasp on how he is supposed to act.
>>
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The sun is quickly setting and evening's periwinkle pall through the windows is blotted out by the conference room's garish fluorescent light. The rest of the board filters in -- sans Darkbloom of course. You've made it more than clear that you don't want him involved with any real decisions at Darkbloom Analytics. Whitney agreed with you.

"So what's today's shitshow?" Armstrong asks.

"Nothing," Whitney says. "We're talking shitshow cleanup here."

"Oh yeah?"

"We have one advantage," Whitney tells you all. "Sand Reckoner."

You tsk. "If we could use it. Unfortunately, that's out of the question."

"Why?"

She should know why. Most of the Sand Reckoner platform is disabled. Federal statute prevents Darkbloom Analytics from turning it back on without explicit military approval. You try to explain this to Whitney in a way she'll understand, simple and to the point: "We can't do that. It's illegal."

"Pff. Illegal how."

Nelson tries to field the question. "Well, I mean -- it's the law. 'No private citizen, nor military personnel acting without the express authorization of designated et cetera... shall make knowing, deliberate use of Sand Reckoner based platforms as defined by section yadda yadda...' You know. The law that makes it illegal to use almost any of our own technology."

"Fuck the law," Whitney says. "Sand Reckoner is our property. We can use it how we want. And if anyone wants to come and tell us otherwise, we can take them to court. Saul told me that. Saul knows a shit ton about the law. He told me if a law's illegal, well... it's illegal. They can make any law they want, but we can sue. And Scootus will tell them to fuck off. Constitutionally speaking."

"...Scootus?" Nelson says.

"Yeah."

"Do you -- do you mean SCOTUS?" He asks.

She points at him. "Yeah. That one."

"Whitney," Armstrong says. "Do you know what SCOTUS is?"

"He's, like, the main judge. He tells the other judges what to do."

"Oh my God," Armstrong groans.

"What?"

"SCOTUS is a court. The Supreme Court."

"I don't see how a guy can be a court."

Armstrong is shouting, pounding the table. "It's not a guy! It's just a court! No guy!"

"Pipe down. Jeez."

"Litigating a case all the way to Scoo-- all the way to the Supreme Court takes years," Rose says. "Meanwhile we could still face legal consequences."

"Rose is quite correct," Vivian says. "Trying to make use of Sand Reckoner would only invite unwanted attention."

"Then let's hope no one finds out what we're doing to begin with."

The room glances uneasily from one to the other.

"This is our trump card!" Whitney says. "Chloe doesn't believe in using her own tech. Mara doesn't have it. It's the one and fucking only thing we've got that they don't. If we could actually use the fucking thing, we could probably stop them both dead before they knew what hit them."

Vivian glances across the table towards you. "Alabaster," she says.

[ ] Turn it on.
[ ] Keep it off.
>>
>>3775685
>[x] Turn it on.
>>
>>3775685
this is kinda tough
>>
>>3775685
We did just get told how Whitney has an uncanny ability to be right despite all logic, so...

>[x] Turn it on.
>>
>>3775685
>[ ] Keep it off.

I don't know what's the right decision here.
>>
>>3775685
I want to take a moment to laugh about Scootus, but this choice is even more terrifying than the choices this episode already, and I'm already having heart palpitations as is.

Sure, SR can give us all the answers. But we also know what else it's capable of and that's super fucking dangerous.

On the other hand, what the other sides are doing is potentially even more dangerous. We might be trying to fix it, but do our ends really justify the means?

I'm holding my breath typing this, but...

>[x] Switch on the power line.
Remember to put on protection.
>>
>>3775685
The rational side of me says that this could go really bad and only add to the list of enemies he have. But a part of me also knows that it'll probably work no matter what cause it was Whitney's idea and she has plot armor for this shit

... Fuck it, I'll trust logic this time and hope for the best
>[ ] Keep it off.
>>
>>3775685
> [X] Turn it on
I don't think we stand a chance without it. The Feds are the least of our worries at this point.

And besides, Whitney is always right.
>>
>>3775685
>[ ] Keep it off.

I mean we can reevaluate this decision later in an emergency.
>>
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>>3775685
ffffffffffffffUCK
i hate the potential this has to be leverage against DA, and eventually, to escalate towards even further conflict. SR should be a last resort, and were not there (yet?).

[X] Keep it off.
>>
>>3775685
>[ ] Turn it on.
1. Acquire some out of nowhere island outside US jurisdiction
2. Continue SR research
3. ???
4. Profit

... is what Mara and Qiangxiang style name Chloe would probably have in mind.
>>
>>3775685
I'm getting some huge "unforeseen consequences" vibes from this, but
>[x] Turn it on.
Fuck it
>>
>>3775711
Actually, this guy has convinced me

Changing >>3775701 to [x] Turn it on
>>
>>3775685
>[ ] Keep it off.
Sand Reckoner can make everything even worse than it is now. It should be saved when as a last resort
>>
>>3775685
>[x] Turn it on.
Let's go full bad end.
>>
WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT

Fuck I got here just on time

Mara is pressuring Dalton to do something. What it is we don’t know.

What if Mara wants us to turn on Sand Reckoner? What if she needs us to turn it on for her plans?
>>
>>3775685
> [X] Keep it off
>>
>>3775721
Oh and

>[x] Keep it off
>>
>>3775721
If she needed that to happen, then why not flip the switch on her way out the door before pulling her hail mary with Alex and Renee? I feel like that's just an oversight on her part.
>>
>>3775709
This. Let's not do this just yet.
>[X] Keep it off (for now).
I'm half-tempted to consult David on this, in spite of myself.
>>
>>3775721
Okay actually I'm terrified of this and changing my vote. We can turn it on when we need it.
>>3775705
>>
>>3775685
>[ ] Turn it on.
>>
>>3775685
The Feds (and Tyrus) are snooping around, China's got a foothold in R&D, Mara's asking Daltbloom to make unknown moves, Sable lost her damn mind over this thing, and we have 0 geopolitical allies.
>[ ] Keep it off
I don't like the idea of bringing the wrath of everyone down on DA without a pivot.
>>
>>3775743
In its defense, Sable lost her damn mind even before designing this thing.
>>
>>3775685
>[X] Keep it off
>>
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>>3775685
REPEAT AFTER ME!

> TURN IT ON!

It's time for a sand reckoner BLITZENDEGEN!
>>
>[X] Keep it off

Closing the vote here.
>>
>>3775751
Why is every fucking choice this episode making me terrified?
>>
>>3775751
I'm proud of you guys
>>
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What will alabaster look like when he grows old?

I reckon he will look like this.
>>
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>[x] Keep it off.

"You're inviting disaster," you say. "The last thing we need is to get fucking RICO'd by the feds."

"We tried your way, Ally. With the kidnapping and the whatnot. Your way brought bio-dad back to life. I know how happy you are about that. So maybe let's try my way next. If we turn on Sand Reckoner, we can figure out where mom is. Where Alex is. We could get them back, today."

"Maybe this is what Mara wants," you say, eyes darting around.

"Sure. She wants us to find her and murder her. Makes sense."

"No. Think about it. What did Mara do?"

"She kidnapped our people. She put a big fat fuckin' target on her forehead."

"And what didn't she do? She didn't kill us. She could have. She didn't turn on Sand Reckoner. She didn't steal anything, at least that we know of. Why?"

"Because she's a psychotic cunt."

"Because she wants us to do this. She needs Sand Reckoner on, and she expects us to do her dirty work. Whatever she's making Dr. Carte and Alex work on, it's a derivative project... and she doesn't have direct access to our servers anymore, so maybe somehow... maybe somehow this plays into her hand."

Whitney makes a sour face.

"Alabaster's right," Rose says. "And there's too many unknowns regardless. Even if this isn't part of Mara's plan."

"We're handicapping ourselves," Whitney says. "I'm trying to make us handicapable here!"

"You said it yourself," Nelson offers. "Sand Reckoner is our trump card. We can keep it stowed away for a rainy day. No need to act rashly."

Whitney is unconvinced, but she's a surprisingly reasonable CEO; she knows that when her entire board contravenes her, she can't act unilaterally. "Fine," she says. "Then let's move on to shitshow cleanup part two. We're still down one board member."

"There's an excellent front-end dev on my team who would make a great CPO--" Nelson begins.

"Yeah, no." Whitney says. So... not always so shy about acting unilaterally. "You're the new CPO."

"Huh? But--"

"And I'm about to go extend the offer to our new CIO, too. You guys are gonna love her."
>>
>>3775768
>when
>>
>>3775768
He'll look like Dad. What does Dad look like? The world may never know
>>
>>3775747
Point. But Sable knew SR inside and out. And even still the prospect of what it could be used to do drove her into a fit.
Anyway, I think we need Diogenes to make use of Sand Reckoner properly. What's the status on that?
>>
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>>3775770
Not even upset. It's a reasonably healthy amount of paranoia. Good on you guys.

>>3775721
I held fast with my vote, but your timing was fortuitous.

>>3775768
>>
>>3775770
Also, oh god, Galatea is going to look fucking adorable in office clothes.
>>
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>>3775770
>"If we turn on Sand Reckoner, we can figure out where mom is. Where Alex is. We could get them back, today."
I feel like we made a terrible mistake
>>
>>3775770
>>3775776
There aren’t enough smug anime girls in the world for this I told you so.
>>
>>3775770
I feel like we've avoided a huge mistake
>>
"Smells like NEET sweat in here," Noelle says. She stands at attention at the front door of Galatea's loft, all suited down, hands in front of her, aviators over her eyes. Ridiculous looking. Galatea regards her fearfully.

Whitney picks up the purple geode from Galatea's computer desk and shakes it like a magic 8-ball. "Whoa. What is this thing?"

Galatea grabs for it weakly, but Whitney turns, and keeps her from taking it.

"it's a crystal"

"Duh. What's it for, is the question."

"it's a healing crystal"

Cerise doesn't try to suppress her groan of disapproval, nor her eyeroll.

"Oh shit," Whitney says appreciatively. "I didn't know they made these. What does it heal?"

"anxiety"

Whitney makes rather a show of looking from the geode, to Galatea, then back again. "Is there a money-back guarantee on this thing?" She asks.

"Give it back to her," Cerise says. She doesn't believe in crystals, but she also doesn't like to see Galatea being bullied.

Whitney sets the thing gently back on the table.

"What do you want?" Cerise asks. "Gal's had a long day. Going out is rough for her."

"I'll make it quick, then," Whitney says. "Ya hired."

"erm... i'm sorry... what"

"Ya hired. I want you on the board."

"i... don't understand"

"CIO Anna Soliloquy. What don't you get?"

There's a long, awkward silence. Finally, all Galatea can come up with is:

"why me"

"I need some of that same juju you used to hack my company back when it was bio-dad's."

"for..."

"Don't get mouthy, Gal."

"Wait a second," Noelle says. "You mean--"

"i can't," Galatea says. "i could never..." she spins in her chair and puts her head on her desk, as if to hide in her hands.

"You're Galatea?" Noelle breathes. "The most dangerous -- oh my God. No fucking way."

"yes way" Galatea says, voice muffled.

Noelle shakes her head in disbelief. "We spent so fucking long looking for-- and you-- fuck."

"We really need your help," Whitney says. "We need someone on our team who can keep this Chloe bitch at bay. That someone is you."

"i can't. i'm sorry. i can't."

"There's always the other way," Whitney says. "I know you were behind 3/10, and the FBI is still looking for someone to arrest..."

Cerise is on her feet. "How dare you. You can't threaten Gal like that--"

"I'm sorry," Whitney says, "did your mother get kidnapped by Russian mafia too? Is your company being invaded by the Chinese too? Sit the fuck down."

Cerise does not comply.

"Sit down," Whitney repeats, more sternly.

You gently take Cerise's hand. "Cerise," you say. And this is enough to finally make her sit.

"I like you, Gal," Whitney says. "You're great. I'm sorry I threatened you -- I don't want to force you to do something you're not okay with. I want you to want to do it, because it's the right thing to do. And it'll be good for you."

Gal turns back towards you again, but she's still staring into her own lap. "i don't see how"

"That's why it'll be good for you," Whitney says.
>>
>>3775800
>Noelle in aviators
heh

And Whitney's logic is dizzying, but she's... kinda right? I think?
>>
>>3775800
>"That's why it'll be good for you," Whitney says.
Flawless logic.
>Noelle says. She stands at attention at the front door of Galatea's loft, all suited down, hands in front of her, aviators over her eyes. Ridiculous looking.
Alabaster is a man with no taste
>>
>>3775800
>Whitney picks up the purple geode from Galatea's computer desk and shakes it like a magic 8-ball. "Whoa. What is this thing?"
Amethyst best crystal.
>>
>>3775800
>"i can't," Galatea says. "i could never..." she spins in her chair and puts her head on her desk, as if to hide in her hands.
>"You're Galatea?" Noelle breathes. "The most dangerous -- oh my God. No fucking way."
>"yes way" Galatea says, voice muffled.
I've been waiting for this
>>
>>3775819
It's even funnier when you consider that not only A) she was literally right under her nose the entire time and B) half the world was convinced Cerise was Galatea for so long, and now they're getting married.
>>
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"I'll give you some time to think it over," Whitney says. "But one way or another... well. Welcome to the team." She nods at you. "I'll be waiting downstairs, Ally."

She motions for Noelle, and together, they stride from the loft.

"I can't believe her," Cerise says.

"I -- can't, either," you stammer. "She's on a fucking warpath."

"She's going to do something stupid. Like always. And when it blows up... we'll all be caught in it."

"She really wants her mom back. And she's scared of what this Qiangxiang is capable of. You can understand that, right?"

"I want Renee back, too. That woman saved my life. And Alex -- I care about him just as much as Whitney does. As for the Chinese, of fucking course I'm scared too. It impacts me just as much as anyone. But she's on some dangerous shit here, Alabaster. She's not thinking straight."

"What do you suggest we do, then?"

She doesn't have an answer.

"You should come live with us," you tell Galatea.

"mm"

"I've been trying to tell her that," Cerise says. "It doesn't seem to be sticking."

"You know -- spouses do tend to live under the same roof," you tell Galatea.

"mm"

"It's a fun place to live," you try.

"mm."

"Okay," you say, standing. "I guess I'm gonna have to go there. This is an order."

Galatea looks up at you, agog.

"An official order," you add "An order from -- uh, from sir."

"Come on, Alabaster," Cerise begins. "Do you really think--"

"ok"

Cerise looks over. "What."

"yes sir"

"Oh Jesus Christ," Cerise groans. You smile at her smugly. Shaking her head, Cerise says: "I guess I better get her packed up, huh."
>>
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>>3775824
>>
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>>3775824
>>
>>3775824
What a good slave
>>
>>3775824
wew
>>
You walk with Whitney back up to her bedroom at home.

When she opens the door, you see something you can hardly believe -- you do a literal double-take. There, in one corner, is a life-sized kennel, made of thin white mesh bars. Like a giant hamster cage. Or maybe more like a rabbit cage. And inside, curled up, is a human being.

"Oh," Whitney says, "she's here."

Whitney's voice wakes her up. She rises, to all fours -- about the tallest posture the cage's dimensions will allow -- stretches her back luxuriously. She yawns, her entire face twitching, and makes a high-pitched, staccato "aaa-hhhh-nnn~" sound from the back of her throat. Blinking rapidly, she smacks her lips a couple times, and then she's looking at you. Samantha Smatters.
>>
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>>3775824
>pulling out the "sir" card
Oh yes.
>>
>>3775824
>"yes sir"
HAH god that girl is so fucked up
>>
>>3775837
Oh my fucking god.
>>
>>3775837
what in the fuck
>>
>>3775837
>Smatters
>In Whitney's bedroom

I think we all see where this is going.
>>
>>3775837
oh fuck
>>
>>3775837
FUCK YES I LOVE YOU OP
>>
>>3775837
HOLY FUCK, YES
>>
>>3775846
Myxomatosis?
>>
>>3775853
>The Californian strain, which is endemic to the west coast of the United States and Baja in Mexico, is the most virulent, with reported case fatality rates of 100%

So this is how Fuck Quest ends.
>>
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>>3775837
SHE'S BACK
>>
>>3775837
Best girl has arrived
>>
>>3775855
Not with a bang, but wit--well, yes, I guess, with a bang. Several, probably. Numerous bangs.
>>
"Masters!!" Samantha cries with joy. She loops her fingers through the white wire bars of her kennel. She fixes her attention on you. "My name is Samantha Smatters! Maybe you remember cumming inside me! Ms. Whitney hired me to be everyone's live-in bunny onahole!"

You're beyond words.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Whitney asks, feigning displeasure.

"Oh!" Samantha pips. "I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!" Still on all fours, she turns in a semicircle. She hikes one of her legs up, way up, like a dog about to urinate, and presses her bare foot against the place where where the cage's wall and ceiling meet. Her dainty toes grip the bars just like her fingers did moments prior. With Samantha in this lewd position, you see that she's been naked from the waist down all along. Presenting herself like this, her smooth and glistening lower holes drift partway open. Her anus and her cottontail alike twitch invitingly. "Do you want to dump your load, master?" She asks.

You wipe the sweat from your brow. "What are you paying this poor woman to do this?" You marvel.

"Ms. Whitney is paying me with a place to live and lots of dick to cum on!" Samantha says, enthusiastic, still presenting herself.

"Great," you mumble. "So you sold me off as a signing bonus."

"Why just you?" Whitney says, laughing. "Samantha's a cumdump. I was thinking I could give her away as a party favor for all our execs at company functions..."

You're not sure whether you approve. But your dick lurches in your pants of its own volition. Unfortunately, before you can disrobe and give Samantha the payment she so craves -- from behind, you hear footsteps. Amber is approaching with Mom close behind, taking the grand tour from Rose2.

"Alabaster," Mom begins, "We just got in, and I was t-- ghh-- what!!!"

Amber breaks into peals of uncontrollable laughter. Rose2 is too stunned to speak.

Samantha turns back around and grabs the cage again. Her voice strains with adoration and excitement. "Even more masters? Oh my goodness! Hello!"

"S-Samantha?" Mom sputters.

"Scarlett?!"

"What are you d--" Mom looks from her, to Whitney, to you, and can't find an emotion to settle on. Bafflement, anger, raw shock... allurement?

"Don't forget your manners now," Whitney needles.

"Oh!" She locks eyes with Mom. "I am this residence's live-in cum receptacle! Do you want to use me? My mouth is very skilled!" She lets her jaw hang open and her tongue loll wetly out. Thick strands of saliva spiderweb between her incisors and roll down off the tip of her little pink tongue. She sits there like that, expression vacant, mouth awaiting anything any of you care to put in it.

Mom spins and practically runs away; her two daughters follow, one still laughing, the other stuttering. Whitney is already stripping. "You wanna go deal with that?" She asks. "Or try out the new toy?"

You know where your priorities lie.
>>
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>>3775861
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>>3775861
>You know where your priorities lie.
>>
>>3775861
>You know where your priorities lie.
inb4 we actually go deal with Mom instead of our pet bunny
>>
>>3775866
>>3775868
Reminder that Smatters was the school bicycle when Charlotte and Scarlett were at North High
>>
>>3775861
>She fixes her attention on you
Seems Smatters is in heat again, can't be helped
>>
>>3775870
And now Whitney wants to make her the company bicycle. Shou ganai.
>>
>>3775870
And? You don't win by being the only dick they've experienced, you win by being the best dick they've experienced. Just look at Renee.
>>
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Down in the living room, Mom is trying to get her breathing back under control, hand to her breast. "This was -- a terrible mistake." She looks at you. "Amber, maybe we should go back home."

You wave her off. "And miss out on all this tanoshii?"

Rose claps. You knew you'd get her on your side with a little bit of her own lingo.

"You told me yourself that Alabaster's a pervert," you say. "So they keep a literal sex pet in their bedroom. Is that at all surprising? But they're all consenting adults, right? What difference does it make?"

"Just promise me you won't get mixed up in all this debauchery," she says after a turn.

"Oh, sure. You got it. Sure thing." You squint at her. "Should I make you make the same promise?"

She stomps indignantly.

"Nevermind," you say.

Rose leans way off to one side. "Heeeey, Amber."

"Heeeey what."

"Where are you gonna sleep, huh?"

[ ] Your sister's room.
[ ] Your mother's room.
[ ] Alabaster's room.
[ ] Your own room.
>>
>>3775861
>"S-Samantha?" Mom sputters.
>"Scarlett?!"
I'm suprised they still remember each other

>>3775871
Realistically, when isn't she?
>>
>>3775875
> [X] Your sister's room
Tempted though I am to pick "Smatters's cage"
>>
>>3775875
>[ ] Your sister's room.
>>
>>3775875
... well we are in front of our dear mother, after all.
>[x] Your sister's room.
... But that doesn't mean we can't sneak off to >[x]Alabaster's room later, does it?
>>
>>3775875
>[ ] Alabaster's room.
NEED. MORE. AMBER LEWDS
>>
>>3775875
>[ ] Alabaster's room.
>>
>>3775875
>[ ] Alabaster's room.
>>
>>3775875
>[ ] Your sister's room.
>>
>>3775875
>[ ] Your mother's room.
Oyakodon setup?
>>
>>3775875
>[x] Your sister's room.
Sisterly love, anons
>>
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>>3775875
what in the fuck, OP
this might go down in history as episode with hardest choices
[X] Your mother's room.
time to show okaa-chan some affection, billionaire style
>>
>>3775875
>[ ] Your mother's room.

It's hard to say if Ally will actually be sleeping in his room, but we can get a two for one if we lure him to Mom's room.
>>
>[x] Your sister’s room

>>3775881
And who says this won’t lead to more lewds?
>>
>>3775881
"My (non-blood related terrorist) little sister can't possibly be this lewd!"
>>
>>3775875
>[ ] Alabaster's room.
LET'S DICK
>>
>>3775892
I mean, they probably all will but some more than others. Just imagine fucking Amber from both perspectives
>>
>>3775875
>[ ] Alabaster's room.
I'm realising that I don't think Whitney has had her way with Amber yet.
>>
See the funny thing is, I don't think half of you realize that Alabaster isn't even in his room right now.

But Rose probably is.
>>
>>3775875
>[X] Saying your sister's or mother's room.
Then moving to
>[X] Alabaster's room.
>>
>>3775875
>[ ] Alabaster's room.
I'm ready
>>
It's a tie
>>
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I'm gonna call it for tonight. You guys can keep voting and discussing, of course.

Sunday evening at 9 PM EST:

Something lewd!
Something lewder!
Marriage?!
Forgeries?!?!

And more!
>>
>>3775912
Sweet dreams OP
>>
>>3775912
YOU FUCKER good night, OP
>>
>>3775912
Night OP!
>>
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>>3775912
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sweet dreams~
>>
>>3775912
Thanks for the run, OP!
>>
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>>3775917
Save that energy. I want to deliver something really spectacular to kick the second half of the episode off.
>>
>>3775919
O-oh golly gosh.
>>
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>>3775912
>Marriage?!
!
>>
>>3775875
>[X] "reconnect" with galatea
>>
>>3775875
>[ ] Your sister's room.
>>
The time is 4:21 AM.
>>
>[ X] Your sister's room.
>>
>Faggots are trying to break the tie
>>
>>3775875
>[X] Alabaster's room.
>>
>>3775398
>her knuckles make a hollow noise against her skull
>>
>>3775875
Alabaster room
>>
>>3775875
The cage
>>
>>3775875
>[X] Alabaster's room.
>>
>>3775875
>[x] Your mother's room.
>>
>>3775875
>[x] Your mother's room.
>>
>>3775875
[x] Alabaster's room.
>>
>>3775875
>[X] Your own room.
>>
>>3775875
>[X] Your mother's room.
>>
>>3776300
You funny guy.
>>
>>3775875
Alabaster's room you dumb fags
>>
>>3775875
[x] Alabaster's room
TIME FOR SWEET JK DICKINGS
>>
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All right. In the interests of time, I need to get writing. Please wait warmly.
>>
>>3776405
>No tie
>Not wanting to sleep with both Amber and Rose2 for some sibling(?) bonding
Truly gay
>>
>missed the vote
That's what I get.
>>3775875
I like how Rose2 is just Rose from Amber's perspective. It took me a moment to realize the switch, which made for a really amusing moment.
Of course now I have to wonder what she calls Original Recipe Rose.
>>3776412
>implying Rose2 isn't playing housepet
>>
>>3776412
It’s very sad. Bubblegum Rose is just starting to warm up to how hot it is to be a siscon. Remember the bachelorette party?
>>
>>3776412
Imagine waking up every day cuddling up to your two Not!Imoutos. Starting off the day with the smell of incestuous sex and bubblegum as you wake up each morning
>>
>>3776459
At last I truly understand Sable’s madness.

>It's over!" She shrieks. "It's all over!"

>"What's over?" You demand, stepping up to where she sits on Gal's bed.

>"Humanity! We were at the cusp of greatness but we gave it all up!
>>
>>3776459
Both my dick and my heart are very disappointed
>>
>>3776459
>>3776487
Alabaster is going to be fucking Smatters and Whitney all night though.
>>
>>3775456
thats what happens when you go up against THE SMARTEST GIRL IN THE UNIVERSE!
>>
I almost feel like we've only decided the starting point for tonight's activities. Because let's be real - everyone's gonna be fucking everyone at one point or another.
>>
>>3776547
Even if that's the case it'd still be awesome to wake up next to our two imoutos in the future days to come
>>
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>>3776405
Chloe best girl
>>
It's almost time for blessed relief.
>>
>>3777247
New levels warm
>>
>>3777266
Almost as warm as the bachelorette party on my end. Thank goodness I didn't have to suffer at work all day this time.
>>
>>3777270
Through dick, unity
>>
https://pastebin.com/su18N2nT
>>
>>3777323
I have arrived.
>>
>>3777323
Right out the fucking gate.
>>
>>3777323
It's time
>>
>>3777323
YES
>>
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>>3777323
This lewd, by the way, is longer than the entire text of the preceding episode. I finished writing with literally 1 minute before airtime!

Well anyway, back to writing.
>>
>>3777343
You're a blessing OP
>>
>>3777343
>This lewd, by the way, is longer than the entire text of the preceding episode

My god. This man will be the doom of us all.
>>
>>3777351
I'll be curious which part people liked the best! This is basically 3.5 lewds rolled into one. I know which part I liked the best, but maybe tastes differ.
>>
>>3777343
So she's going to room with us from now on? Also, can we get more Alabaster/Galatea scenes? Having her call us sir is fucking amazing.

Also, I just want to mention something about the last thread. I was the anon who mentioned how each season has felt different and how 2 felt polished but I was unable to mention that I had an issue with 2 as well, that helps make 2 and 3 more even; the additional materials for season 2.

On the one hand, the additional materials were really interesting and allowed us a level of engagement with the quest that's normally unparalleled as we could create theories, pick up hints and learn more about the cast with articles about it.

On the other hand, it was actually *quite* intimidating to read through it all because, at the time, I was busy with college and with being in Hong Kong to visit family and there was so much content that missing even a little let it build up and squash me flat and it could also get confusing as to what piece of content was where.

What I'm trying to say OP is that you shouldn't feel like 2 was your objectively 'best' work because its overplanned nature led to it being a different flavour to 3 and 1.

Also, would you like a feedback survey of some sort about how people would rank all of the lewds in the quest so far? I still think that
>The nuru massage
>The Shamed Rose political campaign
>Whitney's first from season 2
>Renee strip show

Were some of the best you've ever done.
>>
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>>3777323
>>3777343
good god
>>
>>3777359
>>3777343
>>3777323
OP, your very existence is proof that god does not actually exist. A real life Babel Fish is what you are.
>>
>>3777370
My personal top 5 ranking in no particular order

Bachelorette party
S1 family movie night
Alex and Sable at the sauna
Charlotte’s laundry day
Camelia in the massage parlor

This one is a contender too but need to digest it.
>>
>>3777370
The additional material were some of the best parts though and there really wasn't even enough to be overwhelmed by. If you could make a little extra time you could get most of it out of the way in one sitting
>>
>>3777387
Oh fuck I completely forgot Alex at the sauna, the first time Alex sucked our cock, Charlotte's laundry day where she fingerfucked herself stupid and the S1 movie night.

>>3777390
The reading of the content, sure. The actually applying the content to the quest to make the fucking insane mind maps some people were making that ended up correct? I disagree.
>>
>>3777392
Give an example of when it was a bad thing
>>
>>3777323
>huh? nooo it's awesome
there's this itch i have with cute girls talking about how best to please the man they both love and it is being scratched so hard right now holy shit i am so hard
>>
>>3777323
>"...daddy?"

Not yet, but Alabaster might be Amber's step dad soon, if Scarlet wants to do more than just watch him do his Cousin/Mother In Law
>>
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On your way out the door in the morning, you pass by Cerise and Galatea sitting together in the living room. They must have gotten in really late. Galatea's bags are strewn on the floor all around the couch, and the two rampant lesbians sit side-by-side, indian style. They each wear tees, pantsless but thankfully with the basic dignity of panties to cover their shame. Cerise sips a mug of coffee and Galatea works studiously on a laptop.

Rose passes them right by, in a hurry -- as always -- but you and Whitney stop to chat.

"Coming in to work?" Whitney asks. "I know I encourage people to wear business casual, but..."

"Give us a day," Cerise says. "Gal needs to get some stuff in order."

"What stuff?"

"if you announce that you hired me," Galatea says, not looking up, "people will get suspicious... they'll ask why you invited a jobless 19 year old girl to be a top ranked executive at one of the world's most powerful companies..."

Whitney blinks. "Shit. Yeah. Good point."

Cerise makes a sort of exasperated, get-a-load-of-this-girl motion in Whitney's direction, using the flat of her hand. You can only shrug.

"i'm gonna forge an identity," Galatea says.

"19 year old Anna Healy will be 32 year old Anna Soliloquy -- maiden name Anna Moss," Cerise explains.

"Can she pass for 32?" You ask skeptically.

"i aged gracefully"

You didn't expect a sardonic comment like that from her. Good for her. She's really matured in the past 12 hours.

"i graduated with honors from a university in dublin," she says. "did cybersecurity work for some NGOs... worked at some government thinktanks... sat on the faculty at a university in south africa for a while... now i'm here"

"Smart," Whitney says.

"yes"

"This is why I'm hiring you."

"yes"

"Okay, well... get to work."

"Wait--" you drawl. You glance down, notice the ring on Cerise's finger. Galatea's too.

Cerise holds her hand up to show it off. "We've been married for two years. I was with her in South Africa during her professorship, that's why I disappeared from the public eye. I came back a little before she did... now she's back with me."

"Smart!" Whitney says.

"yes"

"Okay," you say. "But... that's sort of anticlimactic. Isn't it?"

"What are you talking about?" Cerise says.

"You can't just get fake-married. You gotta have an actual wedding too."

"Pfft. Fuck off."

"No. You fuck off. If I have to suffer the indignity of a big, pointless ceremony, then you definitely do."

"Take that up with your cunt wife, asshole," Cerise says. "You let her whip you into having a wedding. That's on you. Me and Gal don't need one."

"What the hell is up with all this 'whipped' talk lately?" You grouse.

"Whihh-chuu" Cerise says, in imitation of a whip.

"Oh, fuck y--"

"Whihh-chuu," Whitney mimics.

"Besides," Cerise adds. "If I have a wedding, I want Renee and Alex to be there for it. It wouldn't be the same without them."

You can at least understand that.
>>
>>3777435
Ohhhh man. Now I really wish /csg/ could see this.
>>
>>3777435
>Anna Moss
I don't know why but I feel like this is referencing something
>>
>>3777451
Other than thinking it's almost a homophone for "Animus", I got nothing.

I sure as hell ain't gonna analyze for anagrams though, no sir.
>>
>>3777451
>>3777466
There's another reference to the same thing in season 2, during the flashback to Whitney's birth~
>>
>>3777472
it's a good thing op is here to explain his obscure references because we sure as hell wouldn't get it on our own
>>
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>>3777323
>>
>>3777466
Damn, good catch. Never would've noticed that one
>>
"I gotta thank you," you say. You sit with Kay in her office. "Your advice brought the worst monster to ever live back to life, for a second time."

"Don't be melodramatic," Kay says. "And FYI, my advice saved your sorry asses. If it weren't for me, Mara would have sent a hit squad to do some wetwork on all of us by now."

She finishes typing something -- what, you don't know, and maybe don't want to -- then pulls her laptop from its charging dock and stows it in her canvas bag. Next goes the power cable.

"Going somewhere?"

"I need a vacation from assholes like you who don't know how to say things like please, thank you, and excuse me."

"Oh, excuse me," you say. "Can you please tell me where you're going all of a sudden? Thank you in advance."

"I'm following a new lead. On a new story. Unrelated to anything about Darkbloom Analytics, so stop bothering me."

"Oh, yeah," you say. "I forgot all the hard-hitting journalism you do outside of leaking this company's secrets." You begin to recite the titles of actual articles she penned during her days as a blogger: "Which Subway Footlong Are You? 15 Dancing With The Stars GIFs That Will Make You Swoon."

Kay shakes her head violently. "Shut the fuck up."

"33 Celebs Who Have Celeb Crushes of Their Own. 15 LOL Moments From Ghost Adventures."

She cups her hands to her ears. "Not listening. Not listening."

"What Fairy Type Pokemon Are You? Which Disney World Ride Are You?"

"LALALALA! NOT LISTENING! NOT LISTENING!"

She stands and marches circles around the room like a goosestepping Nazi.

"Kay."

"LAALAALAA!"

"Kay!"

She cringes at you, partially uncovering one of her ears, half-crouched, squinting.

"Seriously. Where are you going? You're not running away, are you?"

"No. I'm investigating something."

"Tell me what, for the love of god."

"Maybe this will clue you in. I'm taking a chartered plane to the sleepy little island nation of Palau."

"Meeting Gustav?"

"You got it." She sits again.

"22 Pirates of the Caribbean Reaction GIFs For Any Occasion."

"FUCK!" She pounds her desk with both fists, then points menacingly at you. "Don't you fuck with me, you miserable asshole. I will publish every single shameful thing your dominatrix wife has ever done to you."

You gulp.

"Yes, I'm meeting with Gustav. He might be able to point us towards Mara. And maybe he knows some other stuff besides."

"Like what?"

She shrugs. "I dunno. You ever hear that Rumsfeld quote, about known unknowns, and unknown unknowns?"

You frown.

"You can come, too, if you like. Take a nice honeymoon with your domme wife."

"No thanks."

"Oh, come on. It's supposed to be a fun place. And their independence day celebrations are coming up. I hear they get pretty wild."

"Sounds like a waste of time, if you ask me. Aren't there more important things I should be doing? Fucking off to take an island vacation right when everything is getting crazy... sounds... so irresponsible."

"Pah. You're no fun."
>>
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>>3777499
>>
>>3777499
>Fucking off to take an island vacation right when everything is getting crazy... sounds... so irresponsible.
hah
>>
>>3777435
>"Besides," Cerise adds. "If I have a wedding, I want Renee and Alex to be there for it. It wouldn't be the same without them."
Oh boy, here come the death flags
>>
>>3777499
21 Things Less Important Than Celebrating Palau Independence Day.
>>
>>3777499
>"Oh, yeah," you say. "I forgot all the hard-hitting journalism you do outside of leaking this company's secrets." You begin to recite the titles of actual articles she penned during her days as a blogger: "Which Subway Footlong Are You? 15 Dancing With The Stars GIFs That Will Make You Swoon."
Fucking kek. I never realized bullying Kay could be this amazing

>"Oh, come on. It's supposed to be a fun place. And their independence day celebrations are coming up. I hear they get pretty wild."
>"Sounds like a waste of time, if you ask me. Aren't there more important things I should be doing? Fucking off to take an island vacation right when everything is getting crazy... sounds... so irresponsible."
Fuck you Alabaster, don't miss this chance
>>
>>3777499
>What Fairy Type Pokemon Are You
Holy shit, this is actually fucking real
>>
>>3777546
The thought that Rose2 was probably an avid follower of her blog at some point suddenly occurs to me and it's hilarious.
>>
>>3777550
I think Kay would kill herself if she ever found that out
>>
>>3777499
>Fucking off to take an island vacation right when everything is getting crazy... sounds... so irresponsible."
I'm never getting tired of these jokes
>>
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>>3777546
Apparently, I'm Gardevoir!
>>
>>3777555
OP-dono, mattaku...
>>
>>3777555
Wholesome
>>
>>3777555
>also got gardevoir
Fuck that noise, I wanted my boy Carbink.
>>
>>3777555
wow i want to fuck op now
>>
>>3777567
>not already wanting to
Quantum gay, I tell's ya.
>>
>>3777555
I don't know how but I got fucking Mr. Mime
>>
>>3777546
>got Gardevoir
>>
>>3777555
>>3777565
>>3777576
>also Gardevoir
This says a lot about /fq/ as a whole...
>>
>>3777591
>everyone here is a slut
what a shock
>>
>>3777593
But we're LOYAL sluts!
>>
>>3777571
Same bro. Probably my least favorite pokemon ever.
>>
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>>3777593
Chances are it's just an awful fucking quiz

Probably guarantees you get Gardevoir if you're taller than 5 feet and weigh more than 100 pounds
>>
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>>3777601
This thing is not only the worst Fairy type but probably the worst Pokemon ever made
>>
>>3777571
>>3777601
Make that three.
>>
>>3777607
The fuck? How many people have taken this stupid ass quiz?
>>
I took the wrong test but it's cool cuz this one is better anyway

>>3777613
Heard you were talkin shit
>>
>>3777628
Just think, we could be aiding the blossoming young career of a future Pulitzer Prize-winner!
>>
>>3777628
If the count doesn't lie, 21209 total.
>>
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"I wouldn't want to risk another stowaway situation," you say. "I just dealt with taking both Roses international. I couldn't possibly do it twice in the same week."

Kay nods. "That's Rose2 for you. Give her 7 inches and she'll take 6300 miles."

"It's really more like 8 inches..." you say.

"But who's counting, right."

"Why are you helping us?" You ask. "What's in it for you?"

"Other than saving my own skin? I want to see Mara get hers, same as the rest of you. And frankly, I don't want to wind up being Mara Darkbloom's vassal... I really, really don't want to."

She leans way back in her chair, sighing.

"I know how you feel," you say glumly.

"Yeah."

"...Got some time to kill?"

She tilts her head. "Sure. Do I need to ask what you're thinking?"

"Oh man. Maybe you should."

She rests her chin on her wrist, grinning slyly. "Are you thinking something perverted?"

"I was wondering whether you wanted to grab some lunch."

Her eyes go half-lidded, in a disgruntled rather than alluring way. "Not hungry."

"But thirsty."

She shrugs. "I'm gonna be marooned on a desert island with no dick in sight for hundreds of miles. Except Gustav, who -- sources tell me -- swings a different way. Aside from being old, gross, and German."

"What's the matter with being German?"

"You focus on the weirdest sh-- nevermind. Do you want to fuck me or not?"

"Sure." You stand and begin to unbuckle. But a thought strikes you.

[ ] Maybe I'll go to Palau after all.
[ ] Nevermind.
>>
>>3777639
>[x] Maybe I'll go to Palau after all.
>>
>>3777639
>[x] Nevermind.
NEVER. AGAIN.
>>
>>3777639
>[X] Maybe I'll go to Palau after all.
SEASON 1 CONCLUSION HERE WE COME
>>
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>>3777639
>[x] Maybe I'll go to Palau after all.

UMI DAH
>>
I don't know if I should or not.
>>
>>3777639
Back to the difficult choices again, I see.

>[x] Maybe I'll go to Palau after all.
Blind Chinaman got me spooked enough that it might warrant Gustav's attention.

And on the bright side, Kay's competitive spirit is sure to light up in the Ms. Palau pageant.
>>
>>3777639
Of all the absolutely terrifying choices we've made this season.
This one. This one is the one that fucking scares me the most.

We have too much going on here, we REALLY REALLY shouldn't.

>[x] Nevermind.
But fuck I do kinda want to.
>>
>>3777639
[ ] Maybe I'll go to Palau after all.
What a terrible idea, I love it.
>>
>>3777639
>[X] Maybe I'll go to Palau after all.
this better end in pregnancy desu
>>
>>3777639
>[ ] Maybe I'll go to Palau after all.
FUCK YES
>>
>>3777639
[X] Maybe I'll go to Palau after all.
time for endless ten 2; electric boogaloo
>>
>>3777639
>[x] Maybe I'll go to Palau after all.
It’s like shining a laser in your eye. Every single warning sign tells you not to, but it’s so tempting.
>>
>>3777639
>[X] Maybe I'll go to Palau after all.
I'm celebrating Palau independence day if it's the last thing I do!
>>
>>3777639
>[ ] Maybe I'll go to Palau after all.
Hey we both got a bucket of chicken, wanna do it?
>>
>>3777639
>[x] Nevermind.
DANGER
>>
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>>3777472
>Wellick
>Moss
Fugggg

>>3777639
>[ ] Maybe I'll go to Palau after all.
Renew the suffering. Who's tagging along this time?
>>
>>3777639
>[ ] Nevermind.
>>
>>3777639
[x] nevermind
i do NOT trust kay
>>
>>3777686
Why not? Kay seems pretty unambiguously on our side at this point
>>
N E V E R M I N D
>>
>>3777688
she's a reporter. i don't trust the media further than i can throw their collective weight
>>
>>3777657
... fuck it, Amber can take care of things here.

Let the curse envelop us entirely.

>[x] Maybe I'll go to Palau after all.
>>
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>>3777472
>>3777677
>>
>>3777698
But she's literally going there in the first place to try to help us. She's on our side and has no reason to betray us
>>
>>3777711
you literally didn't address my point. she's still a reporter. if she's a good reporter, her first duty is to tell the public the truth, not to obey our dick, and we're pretty much sitting on the biggest scoop the world has ever seen.
>>
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>[x] Maybe I'll go to Palau after all.

"Why the sudden change of heart?" Kay asks.

"There's something I need to decide. Maybe down there, with Rose -- is the best place to decide it."

She waits for a beat, then: "How mysterious. I like a man of mystery. Gets my cunt all wet."

"Charming."

She sticks her tongue out at you.

>Besides Rose and Kay, which harem member(s) do you want to take?
>Amber, Alex, and Renee cannot come. Top 3 votes will be invited to tag along. Can vote "no one" up to 3 times if you want.
>>
>>3777719
rose2, gal, and amber.
>>
>>3777698
Not every media person is bad, Anon. Just because the group collectively does some bad things doesn't mean the individual actors are all bad, and this one in particular seems pretty fucking cool with us. Unless you think she's gonna change her mind on us AND on Mara suddenly, it seems pretty unlikely she'd ever have a reason to turncoat, even if you doubt her loyalty.
>>
>>3777719
no one
fun times only with wifey lets gooo
>>
>>3777719
>everyone
>>
>>3777719
>Rose2
>Cerise
>Qiangxiang (fuck it, why not)
>>
>>3777719
Whitney needs a vacation too, if she keeps making rash decisions, it could potentially end badly. Vivian can take care of things at DA.

Gal needs time to acclimate to her new position and give the company some stability. Cerise should probably stay behind to help her with that, but... it's Palau, and my gut tells me Cerise should be there for some reason.

Noelle was hired for a reason, we should keep her near Whitney.


I guess my final vote is:
>Whitney
>Cerise
>Noelle
>>
>>3777719
Cerise and Gal!
>>
>>3777719
>Gal, Cerise and Mom

With Amber's second perspective it'd be a waste to have them in the same place.
>>
>>3777719
Oh God damn it. YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL. AGAIN.
>>
>>3777726
>bad
again you miss my point. it's not about being good or bad. it's about fulfilling the purpose of a reporter, which is to tell the public what powerful people don't want them to know. that means (if she's a good reporter, and she seems to be) her first priority is to break the biggest scoop in history. Not protecting our interests, not rescuing our sister-brother-mother-wives, not stopping mara, not bouncing on our dick.
>>
>>3777719
But Amber, Alex, and Renee are the people I want to take the most...
>[X] Cerise, Galatea, Noelle
First two seem like the ones who would be most useful talking to Gustav (or at least Galatea is, but Cerise has gotta come with for that). Noelle is good for security, and because we need more screentime. Plus, think of all the rare bonding moments for the four of them! We hardly ever see Kay/Noelle/Gal interact.
>>
>>3777719
Whitney, Chloe, Mom
We still need some crew on deck, ya feel me, lads?
>>
>>3777719
>Amber, Alex, and Renee cannot come.
Ok then.

>Makoto
>Sable

For real though, extend an invite to Cerise and Gal, but have the decision be entirely up to them. See if they want to do their wedding/honeymoon plans in a tropical setting or whatever.

And I guess we'll need Mom to be there to. So in summary.

>Cerise
>Gal
>Mom
>>
>>3777747
People are capable of putting other thins above their work, though. I have to assume saving herself/her loved ones/the world from Mara would trump that second Pulitzer, especially when she's basically got scoops for the rest of her life if the harem comes out on top
>>
>>3777719
>Cerise
>Gal
>Rose2
Cerise and Gal deserve a honeymoon and Rose2 cause A). It sounds fun and B). She'll ty to find a way to sneak in anyway
>>
>>3777757
capable? sure. but that seems like a needlessly risky dice roll to me.

it doesn't matter anyway, we decided to trust her.
>>
>>3777719
>Cerise
>Gal
>Chloe
>>
Cerise
Whitney
Noelle
>>
>>3777719
Probably best to keep it low key with as few board members as possible, save one deterrent
>Mom
>2Rose 2Furious
>Chloe
>>
>>3777719
Mom, Charlotte
>>
Got it.
>>
>>3777777
Based digits
>>
>>3777777
What a cursed post.
>>
>>3777719
>Rose
>Rose2
>Chloe
All 3 Roses
>>
what's with you people wanting to invite chloe? she's cute and yeah i want to get in her but do you really think inviting her to fuck island when we've only spoken to her for like thirty seconds is a good idea?
>>
>>3777719
Cerise, Gal, and fuck you I want Renee to come anyway
>>
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>>3777777
passing the point of no return
with no survivors!
>>
>>3777791
Chloe seems like the most dangerous person to let anywhere near Gustav honestly
>>
So, by my count, it's:
>Cerise
>Gal
>Mom, Rose2, and Chloe (tied)
Which sounds like an amazing trip
>>
>>3777791
It seems fun
>>
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>>3777777
god help us
>>
>>3777796
How the fuck is this gonna play out?
>>
>>3777796
>Alabaster going to Palau with 6 waifus again, 4 of which are new
I also like this
>>
>>3777792
Actually I'll change my last vote to Mom. My Renee protesting isn't gonna get anywhere, obviously. And Chloe coming is a horrible idea, are you guys kidding me
>>
As Kay walks down the hall, slightly limping, you call after her: "These Epic Revelations From Reddit AMAs Will Leave You Speechless!"

Kay stops in her tracks, hunching up her shoulders, balling her fists. She wheels on you. She calls back: "Hey! Just curious! Is the safeword still tenderness?"

"W-what?"

"Still holding stock in Preparation H?"

"How do you know about that?!"

She laughs cruelly. "I warned you, fucker."

Noelle, standing close to Kay at the door of the C-suite conference room, looks confused. "Should I even ask?"

Kay cups her hand to Noelle's ear and whispers. Noelle's eyes bulge -- then she begins to laugh. "Ohhh my god. No. No way."

"Yes way," Kay says.

"Holy shit."

You feel the hot flush rising from your neck and all the way up your face.

"See you later," Kay says, winking at you.

Noelle resumes her on-guard stance, pulling out her sunglasses and donning them with a smirk. She glances back your way. Though her face is shielded by her ridiculous aviator glasses, you worry that she's looking at you with new eyes. You hurry past her, towards Whitney's office, to tell her that you'll be taking a day trip to Palau without her -- Soliloquys only.

A family vacation might be just what you need to get your head straight.
>>
>>3777796
We invite Mom, she leaks it to Rose2 who stows away again, as expected. Chloe is loaded with yuans, so she'll charter her own plane anyway.
>>
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>>3777804
Teehee~.
>>
>>3777804
>Preparation H
I need to know what that is

>>3777807
I'm so fucking down for this
>>
>>3777811
it's hemorrhoid cream, anon.
>>
I messed up.

>>3777807
Should be directed towards >>3777801
>>
>>3777807
Based and Palaupilled
>>
>>3777804
I'm really glad the vote turned out this well.

>>3777811
It's an anal-gesic.
>>
>>3777804
I love this
>>
>>3777811
>>3777817
Well fuck me. I thought it was something that happened between Ally and Rose
>>
>>3777826
Oh, something happened between Ally and Rose alright
>>
>>3777826
Oh there was something between them alright.
>>
>>3777803
I wanted to vote to bring Daltbloom along, but I thought that might be worse than Chloe
>>
>>3777831
>>3777832
lewd anons think alike
>>
You get home early that evening.

Mom was overjoyed to get the invitation to go to Palau with you, on your double honeymoon. Gal was less enthusiastic, but Cerise brought her around. And Rose feigned disinterest, but you could tell she was excited at the prospect of a real -- albeit short, you stressed that point, that this trip was going to be short, very short, and to-the-point -- honeymoon.

Kay intends to leave in just a few hours, so you need to be ready to go, quickly.

Rose was home even earlier than you. Mom wanted to talk to her about something before heading out -- something alone. And now, coming in through the front door, you get an inkling of what it was. Because greeting you there at the threshold, is Rose, wearing your own pink apron.

"What the hell..." you breathe.

"Hey," she says. She's still got a ladle in hand, and you see the smears of chocolate on it. Rose, who knows that you tend to take a shower right away when you come home (out of necessity more than anything) -- asks a question you guess is pretty practical:

"Do you want some dinner? Or to bathe first?"

You feel a surge of adrenaline in your gut. "Or..." you prompt her.

But she doesn't get it. "Or what?"

You scowl. "Nevermind. ... What's up with you going iron chef all of a sudden?"

"Ask Scarlett. She was deadset on making me a baker all of a sudden."

"And -- you agreed to it? Seems a bit... traditional for you, doesn't it?"

"Don't go there."

"Kinda... tradwifey?"

She swats you with the ladle.

"Ow! Fuck!"

"This is just one more thing for me to be better at than you are. That's how I look at it." She turns and goes back to the kitchen, where heavenly smells are emanating. You're glad to have Mom's desserts back. You'll be eating like a king before you depart for Palau.
>>
>>3777838
It's probably #2 honestly, but man it would be hilarious to revive Darkbloom as part of an elaborate double agent plot, just to immediately blow his cover for a family vacation
>>
>>3777843
God I love this girl.
>>
>>3777843
>you stressed that point, that this trip was going to be short, very short, and to-the-point
Kek
>>
>>3777843
>albeit short, you stressed that point, that this trip was going to be short, very short, and to-the-point
Doubt
>>
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>>3777843
> "Or..." you prompt her.
>But she doesn't get it. "Or what?"

And we married this person.
>>
>>3777858
I can only pray for a future wife to have regular cook-offs with. God that'd be fun.
>>
>>3777855
Maybe OP is gonna use Sand Reckoner to run dozens of FQ threads at once, allowing us to have the full Palau experience all in the space of a single night
>>
>>3777864
This was the true reason for the four-month hiatus. OP was preparing the entire time.
>>
>>3777864
Season 5 confirmed.
>>
>>3777864
You're giving episode 11 flashbacks. Now THAT was one crazy episode
>>
You sit back on the couch, lounging, hands laced over your eyes.

Your brief respite gets interrupted by dainty hands rubbing your shoulder blades.

You turn, craning your neck. It's Amber.

"Goddamn it. Where did you come from?"

"I'm sneaky, huh."

"Go away, you fucking zoomer."

"That's messed up. Your wife is a zoomer, Ally."

"I don't like my wife, either."

"Pffthaha. Fine. I'll take her."

You grimace, and face forward again. Amber, impossible to deter, lays her hands on your shoulders once more, and begins to massage you neck. Her technique is as good as you remember. Soothing feelings radiate from your neck outward as she rubs the balls of her palms in tender circles on your sore flesh. You didn't realize how sore you really were -- until Amber started giving you this relief.

"See? Not so bad, is it?" She says. "Your little girl knows how to take care of you."

"Would you cut it out with the DDlg shit?" You say. "It's creepy. Very zoomer fetish, right there."

"Hmmph. It seemed to get you off well enough last night. But then I guess even you're pretty much on the cusp of zoomerdom, too. Sort of in that awkward intergenerational space... don't know what you are... you're all confused, and conflicted... right?"

You close your eyes and shake your head.

"Then again, maybe I should call you big brother instead, huh?"

You don't reply.

"Why is my Mom suddenly taking a plane trip to Nauru with you?"

"Palau."

"What the fuck ever."

"She's my personal chef."

"Why did she walk you down the aisle at your wedding?"

You don't respond.

"My sister is dumb as fuck, she'll believe anything you tell her. But you know me well enough by now. You gotta know how weird this shit is to anyone with two brain cells to rub together."

"I don't know what you want from me."

"Alabaster..." She stops massaging you. "Are we related?"

[ ] Yes.
[ ] No.
>>
>>3777880
>[x] Maybe.
>>
>>3777880
>I don't even fucking know at this point.
>>
>>3777880
> [X] Kinda?
>>
>>3777880
>[x] No fucking clue
>>
>>3777880
>[x] I hope.
>>
>>3777880
Would knowing make it hotter to you?
>>
>>3777884
>>3777886
>>3777887
>>3777888
>>3777889
I fucking love you guys.
>>
>>3777880
>[x] Yes.
>>
>>3777884
>[x] I don't know
>>
>>3777884
>>3777886
>>3777887
>>3777888
>>3777889
>>3777892
>>3777895
All of this
>>
>>3777880
>[x] Still figuring it out.
>>
>>3777880
>[x] yes but not in the creepy 11 toed babies way
>>
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You shrug. "All women are my sisters and all men are my brothers. And anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister."

"I recognize that..." Amber mutters.

"You should. It's one of yours. Well -- Jesus first, but then you."

"Be serious," Amber says.

"The truth is that I don't know. Well. I know this. What you said to me in that clothes store?" You do a little hoedown swing of your arms. "This mom is your mom, this mom is my mom... from the... et cetera... that was true."

"But Mom never had any other kids."

"In her current life. You had a different life, too, right?"

Amber stares at the ground. "If we have the same Mom, then we're siblings -- no matter how you look at it -- right?"

"Sure."

"Great. I'm a brotherfucker. Like. An actual brotherfucker."

"And a sisterfucker. Fun, isn't it?"
>>
>>3777880
>Yes, somehow.
Gonna commit
Either through Mom or the implants. Maybe now Amber is a bit more willing to talk about her history
>>
>>3777905
We deserved this.
>>
>>3777905
>the 4:21 answer
Cheeky, OP. Very cheeky.
>>
>>3777905
>You shrug. "All women are my sisters and all men are my brothers. And anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister."
Never would have thought to say this line back to Amber.

Bravo OP.
>>
>>3777905
Incest truly is the peak
>>
>>3777905
"Great. I'm a brotherfucker. Like. An actual brotherfucker."

We're going full Bama now, sweetheart. Alabaster's cousin is also his mother in law.
>>
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H74z1xOzZcM

The armored van jostles as it navigates hairpin turns and random changes in elevation. There are no windows, but Renee judges from the obviously rugged terrain the vehicle is navigating, and the thinness of the air, and the time they've been on the road -- and her knowledge of Mara's personal history -- that they're passing through the Rockies.

The armed men on either side of her, and on either side of Alex sitting on the bench opposite her, have not said a word since taking them a many hours ago.

Her shattered ankle is black and blue and swollen and she's almost sobbing from the pain -- but she won't let on. She won't let these bastards see her so much as wince.

Alex is staring at his lap, and has been for hours.

She lays a gentle hand on his knee. She leans forward and cranes her head down, to look into his ruddy, tear-streaked face.

"It's going to be okay," she whispers. "It's going to be okay, Alex, I promise."

Alex's head snaps up. He looks at her, blinking rapidly. He doesn't seem to be fully present at the moment. His lips part. He stares at her as if disbelieving.

"Ms. Guiteau?" He breathes.

Renee is taken aback. She tilts her head -- disturbed. "...Alex?"

The mystified, half-gone expression on his face disappears in an instant. He's back to reality again. His lips tremble. He looks away.

---

A little while later, the van pulls to a halt. Renee and Alex slide forward on the benches, displaced by the sudden stoppage of momentum. Renee rolls her bad ankle again against the van's floor as she slides across the bench, and can't help hissing in agony.

The back doors open. Sunlight floods in.

The armed men force them out at gunpoint. Renee first, limping; Alex behind, crying.

They're being led up a winding gravel pathway to a featureless, white concrete building. It's massive -- several acres at least. Glancing quickly around, Renee sees nothing. Not a town on the horizon, not any other human-made structures. Just wilderness in all directions, and mountain peaks on the distance.

---

Inside, there are people waiting. The scruffy beards and lanyards and vague hint of BO leave no mistake: programmers.

Behind them, stretching seemingly to infinity, server towers.

Above, on a mezzanine, holding the railing, watching approvingly, Mara Darkbloom.

Renee feels a handcuff slip around her wrist, and looks down to see the other cuff tethering her to a workbench -- where supplies and a PC sit out, waiting for her skilled hands.

Alex gets similarly cuffed at a workbench across from her.

Mara has the most psychopathic, empty, leering smile on her face Renee has ever seen -- even from her.

Renee meets that evil smile with a hateful staredown of her own. But then glancing over, Renee realizes -- neither woman has anything on the look Alex is giving Mara. What burns in his eyes can only be described as murder.

END OF EPISODE 2.

SEASON 4 ED: https://vimeo.com/353146718
>>
>>3777951
MY GIRL

MY BOY

;___;
>>
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>>3777951
>Alex
>>
>>3777951
I see death and it is glorious.
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>>3777951
>>
>>3777951
Now he's lost it.
He knows he can kill.
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>>3777951
>Alex
>>
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>>3777951
>>
>>3777951
>song length
Sasuga, OP.

Alex really is totally broken now, isn't he?
>>
>>3777951
Jesus Christ
>>
>>3777951
Thanks for your hard work, OP!
>>
>>3777951
And thanks for the run! Looking forward to next time.
>>
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PROMINENCE BY MENTION
Whitney: 262
Rose: 165
Rose2: 108
Vivian: 102
Galatea: 50
Amber: 48
Mom: 40
Cerise: 39
Charlotte: 38
Noelle: 37
Kay: 32
Alex: 28
Renee: 26
Qiangxiang: 23

I'm not making it easy on myself to count the rose petals.
>>
>>3777994
Is Chloe counted with Qiangxiang?
>>
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>>3777994
Oh, and Samantha sits at 51.
>>
>>3777804
>to tell [Whitney] that you'll be taking a day trip to Palau without her -- Soliloquys only.

Fucking hell. I have to miss the second half of the episode and people ruin things.
>>
>>3777995

Yes. And also, for consistency's sake, anyone not our dear mother who gets referred to (correctly) as "mom" or "mother" (in other words, Renee or Charlotte) gets tallied for their name.
>>
>>3777994
>>3777996
Thank you as always for your hard work, OP-sama!

I can't believe how tsundere I am for a small island nation in the South Pacific!
>>
>>3778000
You're a hero

Can't wait for Palau!
>>
I had so much tanoshii this episode.
>>
>>3778007
It was both tanoshii and kowai as fuck. Is it Saturday yet?
>>
>>3778007
You're gonna miss your plane Rose
>>
>>3777997
A jet loaded down with DA board members is just asking to get JFKd
>>
>>3777951
Oh god, Alex.

We need to save him before there's nothing left of him to save.
>>
>>3778025
This post hit me really hard.

Some people hated on Alex last season, but he’s still one of my favorites.

He only ever loved us.
>>
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Man, I sure love watching literally any given anime after April 21st, 2018.
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>>3778073
h e h
>>
Holy shit, I'm so fucking hype for our trip to Palau. Didn't expect us to go there in the 3rd damn episode
>>
>>3778101
Same
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>>3777951
Amber quest is nice.

However what we really need is ALEX "The only good Russian is a dead one" QUEST
>>
>>3778168
>THE END OF FUCK QUEST, EPISODE --: Russkie Slayer
>>
>>3775268
>”We all know you and Tongtong were bumping uglies. Your yellow fever is well documented.

Reminder that Auburn’s avatar is Shirogane and Qiangxiang’s is Kaguya.
>>
>>3778242
I'd be disappointed in her if she ever went for a faggot like him
>>
Things I am quietly devastated about:
>Vivian is not going to Palau
>We will not molest Vivian under the surf
>We will not pee inside Vivian in Gustav’s living room
>Whitney and Rose will not gently abuse Vivian at a luau
>We will not give Vivian boostos
>>
>>3778513
We can do it to Chloe instead
>>
>>3778000
>Smatters is the fifth most prominent character in S4
This is the fifth-best timeline
>>
>>3778588
I didn't even notice that. The fact that Smatters is mentioned more than Amber is fucking hilarious
>>
>>3778644
I mean if you counted every time Amber is referred to as “you” (which would be “Amber” if we weren’t in her POV), she’d probably be #1
>>
>>3778863
>you
But it'd be unfair to include pronouns for only one character
>>
>>3778982
Maybe. I’m just thinking of Amber’s unique situation where she would be referred to be name if she were any other character but since she’s the POV character she gets called You rather than Amber. I imagine the proportion of name-use to pronoun-use is similar for all characters such that if you included pronouns it wouldn’t change the relative rankings... save Amber and Alabaster, who both probably are huge outliers.
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>>3778513
>no boostos
>>
Anyone else find it, while hot as fuck, strange how vividly OP described the pleasure of being in cummed inside?
>>
>>3779206

It's not super accurate
>>
>>3779036
Oh, I know. I don't think for even a second that Smatters is more relevant than her Amber or anything, I just find it funny how it's even possible for her to have more mentions
>>
Guys, is it just me, or are Vivian and Whitney becoming more like their father?
>>
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>>3779668

If Fuck Quest was an actual television show and not a quest thread on 4chan, I would end episode 1 of this season with this song over a couple scenes involving Vivian and Whitney. Vivian leaving the Mallory house, getting in her limo and riding back to (presumably) her house, in silence, with the newly awakened Darkbloom; then Whitney at the press junket shaking hands and smiling with Qiangxiang; then Whitney getting aboard her plane and blowing up into a rage when she's in private.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23cWjoH87uY

It's a very David Darkbloom song, if you recall his taste in music, and the lyrics are what I keep coming back to when I imagine the two Darkbloom girls.

For the harmonica part, I also picture a pulling-back crane shot of Alabaster in Whitney's enormous bed at home, with her riding him in his lap -- while Rose2 goes down on Rose beside them, and Cerise/Gal share a dildo on the other side. So this is one, of many reasons, why I'll never get close to working on a real production!
>>
>>3779735
Whitneybux would fund whatever you want.
>>
>>3779754

"This song's pretty gay but I do like the part with the fucking. Fund it."
>>
This is all very good thematic discussion but don’t let it distract you from the fact that Stackleford receives billing below a dog in the end credits
>>
>>3779771
Hey now, Piston worked VERY hard in his portrayal of Lady!
>>
>>3779759
Everytime I read a Trump quote I imagine whitney reading it and going "Wow! This guy has the right idea!".
>>
>>3779985
Look, having Sand Reckoner — my mother is a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. Renee Carte at Darkbloom Analytics; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Berkeley School of Sexology, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a lesbian rapist, if I were a Chinese CEO, if, like, OK, if I ran as a Chinese qt, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you’re a lesbian rapist, they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to North High, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the Sand Reckoner deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are — Sand Reckoner is so powerful; my mother explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 2 years ago; she would explain the power of what’s going to happen and she was right, who would have thought? — but when you look at what’s going on with the two prisoners — now it used to be one, now it’s two — but when it was one and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 421 years — but the Russians are great negotiators, the Chinese are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us, this is horrible.
>>
>>3779735
>So this is one, of many reasons, why I'll never get close to working on a real production!
HBO would do it.
>>
>>3780150
Fuck Quest would be perfect if some porn site like Pornhub ever wanted to dip their toes in original programming a la Netflix. IMAGINE.
>>
>>3780155
I think the incest stuff would probably be too much for them to do in anything that'd get mainstream attention.
>>
>>3777791
>out of the office and away from the tech, time to prepare
>face to face meeting with one of the previous project architects
>stuck with news-hound kay who apparently knows everything about everyone
>don't have to worry about 'air disasters' because the chinese are on high alert
It's a CYA situation, and we might need to convince Chloe to finish Diogenes, or at least run a counter to Mara's Sand Reckoner, in the future.
>>
>>3780291
Incest is by far the most popular category of porn... but I get your point, there would still probably be an uproar even if half the people clutching their pearls are secretly into it
>>
>>3780045
Beautiful
>>
>>3777323
Goddamnit Alabaster. Whitney's right, you can't just neglect Smatters like that. Pets have feelings too
>>
Alabaster quoting Amber’s S2 lines back to her made me imagine what it would be like if this truly were AmberQuest and we had only her perspective.

We start as a normal albeit politically radical high school girl. Our older sister gets a job at a megacorp working for the CEO, who’s her childhood friend.

Meanwhile, we find a bunch of strange things at the Rutabaga Cafe that somehow seem to involve us. An experimental device, a diplomatic note in Russian. We start to have flashes of memories that seem to be from a different life.

The megacorp’s CEO’s boyfriend and sister both take a strong inexplicable bordering on obsessive interest in us. They keep claiming we’re the reincarnated spirit of the world’s most wanted terrorist. We’re getting more and more evidence this is actually true.

Our favorite conspiracy podcaster turns out to be connected to the megacorp too. Gets murdered right in front of us. We barely escape as the only survivor of a horrible massacre.

Our mom is acting like she’s actually this CEO’s boyfriend’s mom.

We help revive the megacorp’s old CEO who we supposedly murdered. After torturing a member of the board.

We move into a Fuck Mansion where everyone is horny on main all day every day and wants to bad touch us.

Imagine all the shadowrunning, fear, confusion and paranoia if instead of Fuck Quest season 4 this was AmberQuest season 1, and we were flying blind.
>>
I confess, I have begun skimming these posts because of how complex the story has gotten. All the intrigue is piling up so high, and all the characters and new perspectives, that I cant keep track anymore.
>>
>>3780743
I ask a truly unreasonable amount of readers for what is, after all, a comedy porno. I don't fault anyone for checking out. But I hope you can continue to enjoy the quest.

>>3779206
>>3779243
Accuracy has to be sacrificed just a bit in the name of hotness. But setting that aside I'm pretty excited to write a female perspective for sex because it's a new twist on things. I've described many, many, many times the pleasure of cumming inside, but to turn it around and do it from the other way makes it feel fresh.

I think I've discussed this before, but if not then I'm sure you can tell: nakadashi, specifically, is one of my top "fetishes." (Can the entire actual purpose of sex be a fetish? Maybe, given how intently focused on it I am.) The pleasure itself is beyond compare and plus of course how dangerous it is -- to risk so much for the sake of a few moments of fun! So that's why I dedicated a lot of focus on it in Amber's scene.
>>
>>3780771
How do you feel about people who say Alabaster is a one-shot wonder? Each scene ends after one climax or goes into montage.
>>
>>3780781
I heard this criticism late in season 3 or maybe after the fact. It's not something I consciously tried to do, so this season I want to include more scenes where he goes multiple times in one session. We got that this episode where he fucks Smatters, turns around and fucks Amber. I'm also going to do a bonus flashback lewd hopefully soon where he fucks Renee and Whitney in one go. And I've got more ideas besides!
>>
>>3780793
>There's gonna be a bonus flashback at some point, hopefully soon, where he fucks Whitney and Renee in one go
Ohhh man
>>
>>3780797
I think the demand is cumming multiple times in one girl, rather than rotating. People were hoping to get a scene like that on the wedding night.
>>
>>3780806
I rushed the "Rose wins" lewd. But there's no reason I can't do a director's cut. And some of the concepts I've got for this season are in line with your request.
>>
>>3780743
Have you read the previous seasons in anticipation for this one? The story becomes a lot less complex if you read it all in one go
>>
>>3780810
>But there's no reason I can't do a director's cu
The most based person on this entire site
>>
>>3780811
I have read all of season 2 and 3, but like the characters I am jarred by the sudden change from banal office culture to high level corporate maneuvering. It doesnt help that our allegiances and goals are constantly changing due ti the random whims of the questmaster and voters.
>>
>>3780698
Someone I think last season had mentioned off-handedly (mostly as a joke, I'm sure) that OP had been secretly running an alternate quest in the same universe that was effecting our choices here on some other, far-distant imageboard. This idea is still hilarious to me.
>>
>>3779668
I’m also surprised there wasn’t a big reaction in the thread to Whitney blackmailing Galatea to accept the job offer with a threat to turn her in. That was a vicious and extremely David move.
>>
>>3781395
I think it was mostly ascribed to her current state of panic, which is pretty pronounced, to be fair. Didn't really need to be mentioned considering Ally's and Cerise's conversation about it immediately after. But the devil is certainly in the details, and my what a devil it is.
>>
>>3781410
All true. It’s super fascinating how stress apparently brings out David’s traits in her. The Time article from before season 3 mentioned that too, how she acts like David when mad or stressed.

Even creepier than threatening Galatea was the way she told Cerise “sit down” when Cerise disputed her. The way I read it, I imagined her being very frightening in that moment.
>>
>>3781420
Both frightening and frightened. She's lashing out and panicking and barely knows what to do. It actually really concerns me that we're leaving both her and Vivian behind while we're in Palau, with only Amber to... er... 'reign them in', as it were. Which obviously isn't going to happen.
>>
>>3781395
With Whitney, I think the line between cutthroat business dealings and seizing opportunities for potential lesbian rape sometimes gets a little muddled.
Maybe those are more similar, in terms of characteristic motivations, than they are different. But she walked it back a little, to her credit.

And the money's good, so at least there's that.
>>
>Chloe (/ˈkloʊi/)[1] (also Chloë, Chloé, Greek: Χλόη) is a feminine name, meaning "blooming" or "fertility" in Greek.

Oh god dammit Whitney, how did she even manage that?
>>
So what is it that Ally wants to decide with Rose in Palau?
>>
>>3781625
Baby names
>>
>>3781639
That’s ridiculous.

If it’s a boy, Alex Fazil Soliloquy.

If it’s a girl, Alabasterina Samantha Soliloquy.
>>
>>3781526
Oology.
>>3781422
Don't forget about Daltbloom. Hopefully he has a chance to hash things out a little while Alabaster's away.
I'm also curious about the adventures of David Darkbloom 'Family Man'
>>
>>3781656
>Not making Fazil the first name
>>
>>3781968
Alex is the best! Best boy deserves the first name.
>>
>>3781656
Wait

>Alabasterina Samantha Soliloquy
>ASS
>>
>>3782148
...fuck. This just also made me realize

>Darkbloom Analytics
>DBA
>421
>>
>>3782064
Fazil is best boy though, he deserved to be our best man
>>
>>3782249
Guys, guys, this is simple.

Fazil is best boy (male)
Alex is best girl (male)
>>
So is OP Studios Australian?

There's one Cerise tweet that makes me ask.
>>
>>3782371
Which is what?

I thought I remembered people from California back in s1 saying OP had referenced hyper specific California things that only an actual resident or extremely well researched person would know.
>>
>>3782064

Alex may be best boy, but I think Fazil has earned us naming our firstborn after him
>>
>>3782381
This one
https://twitter.com/CeriseSoliloquy/status/1164038699073458177

I'm assuming it's OP Studios, but who knows.
>>
>>3782389
That flag belongs to the level creator, who posted the course last thread. OP Studios is 100% certified Made in the USA. Scroll further down the Twitter, in fact, and you'll find a course made by OP under a completely different profile!

You should all get SMM2, it's super tanoshii.
>>
>Fuck Quest: The Next Generation
>the MC is the child of Ally and the girl you hate the most
>>
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>>3783095
That would imply Ally hate-fucked Mara at least once and actually managed to impregnate her during the story.

That'd be hella interesting, too, especially if the MC is the Mara-spawn.

which would make her pic related
>>
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Some of you may recall that the beginning of Fuck Quest coincided with the end of my time in college. At one point, I was out of town interviewing for my first job and doing a site tour, but I was more concerned with planning for S1E3. This is where I hit on the idea of the sixth harem member being an SJW seitokaichou with secret BDSM tendencies. Plus some legendary Whitney moments. At the end of my site visit, I was told I would probably receive a job offer. I ran the thread that night out of a hotel room and had to cut it short to catch a bus home.

Why do I bring this memory up? It seems like the end of Fuck Quest will also coincide with my next major life change.

Today was a marathon day at work for me. We had an excruciatingly long visit from top executives that lasted for many hours. The last time they were here was a disaster, and everyone at our site was thinking another visit like that would mean our jobs. This visit, while a pain to endure, went much better. But during the meetings, and despite the importance of this, I was sometimes more focused on thinking about episode 3, and jotting some notes for it.

At the end of the tour, I was told I may be offered a major promotion. It would entail a cross-country relocation, which, if it happens sometime in the coming months, may interfere with the run schedule. If this is the case, then please understand. However, I think the time frame should allow me to run most or all of S4 before then.
>>
>>3782389
>>3782958
Yeah, that was me. Chart anon! I'm the only Australian FQ'er as far as I know.
>>
>>3783136
Oh wow. Congratulations, OP!
>>
>>3783136
Oh shit! Congratulations, OP! It's totally understandable if that should happen - a huge opportunity like that should definitely take precedence over Fuck Quest.
>>
>>3783136
Holy shit, congrats.
>>
>>3783136
Will there be a smut pastebin for the Kay scene in >>3777639
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>>3783150
Yes.
>>
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>>3783136
Good job OP! :')
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>>3783159
Bueno
>>
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>>3783136
That's some pretty sugoi yokatta!
>>
I really really want to feed Chloe a thick, juicy hamburger. A burger so perfect and beautiful no Chinese citizen could even hope to conceive it, lest their social credit score be reduced for imagining such a blatant, unabashed symbol for capitalism and freedom.

I really wanna feed Chloe a burger!
>>
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>>3783299
Don't forget to feed her a juicy hotdog after!
>>
>>3783299
>>3783300
The lack of art of Kaguya eating delicious hamburgers is distressing and must be rectified post-haste.
>>
>>3783136
Congrats OP

Calling it now, something is gonna go wrong with episode 10 again
>>
>>3783299
Angus Wagyu patty. Everything a proper red loving chink should hate.
>>
>Will is a cocksucker, I’m pretty sure.

If AmberQuest is supposed to be a mirror of season 1, is Will gonna rape Auburn?
>>
>>3783542
Gotta dislodge that stick somehow
>>3783136
How wonderfully terrifying.
>>
>>3783542
What if he ends up with Stackelford so he accomplishes his goal of fucking Whitney in at least some capacity?
>>
>>3783790
Stackleford is swole now, and Will seems like a nice boy. Stackleford could benefit from his influence. I wholeheartedly support this pairing.
>>
>>3783806
Does that mean the Stack Attack is going to make a move on Amber too?
>>
>>3780818
>"Maybe that's it. Love should be fun for Godsakes, right? Maybe that's the solution to this problem, and the Rose problem, and all the rest of my problems. We should all forget about the drama and just have some goddamn fun, for once. Right?"

We need to go back... back to when things were fun... I feel like... It all, returns, to nothing.
>>
>>3784607
Speaking of fun, I've created a shitpost in Mario Maker form!
Come on down to VW7-NSH-V4G for the ultimate Fuck Quest Thread Simulator.
>>
What things do you want to do in Palau?

I want to watch fireworks with Cerise! I really, really want to!
>>
>>3785125
I think a lot of us were secretly fishing for some more deja vu moments like that.
>>
>>3785167
Fuck Quest super fans will remember that we didn’t actually get to see the fireworks in Palau in the original, because rain ruined things. But Cerise said it was all daijobou and then we fucked!
>>
>>3785125
>Not watching them with our wife
>>
Do you guys think we'll only be in Palau for one episode? I don't know how we'd be able to do all the plot shit AND the independence day parade in that case
>>
>>3785869
Can't say for certain but I can totally see us staying there for 2 episodes, MAYBE 3 if we switch POVs a lot. Regardless I doubt we'll get to season 1 Palau namek levels with the POV split
>>
>>3785667
Fuck our wife.
>>
>>3786332
We will, during the fireworks
>>
>>3785125
Kind of sad we didn't get frisky with Kaa-san in the walk in fridge in Palau season one.
>>
Real question is this:

We gonna fuck our mom in Palau or what?
>>
>>3786837
Have you ever tried to keep a boner in the cold, Anonymous-dono? It's not as easy as you think.

>>3787019
There'd certainly be some deja vu involved if we did.
>>
>>3787061
>Have you ever tried to keep a boner in the cold, Anonymous-dono? It's not as easy as you think.
When there's a girl right there who wants to get dicked it's not really that difficult
>>
>>3787186
Particularly when that girl is a close blood relative!
>>
>>3787198
God, fucking her is gonna be amazing
>>
>>3787251
We're also potentially gonna fuck three women who have taken the role of wives AND are blood relatives.

Let that sink in. I sure hope OP plays this angle out.
>>
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https://pastebin.com/6iGWhmUd
>>
>>3787705
nnf
>>
>>3787705
Oh boy
>>
>>3787705
Yooo

Thanks for the pre-Palau appetizer, OP.
>>
>>3787705
Bent and thoroughly twisted, but not broken. Just the way I like it.
>>
>>3787986
>>3787986
>>3787986



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