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Previous threads: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=One%20Piece%20Bounty%20Photographer%20Quest
MC Pastebin: https://pastebin.com/XGUgpV79

Cover-art kindly provided by our noble artiste, Draw-anon, who generously took time off repainting the Sistine Chapel for us. Look upon our prettyboy protagonist. Look upon his devilish smile and despair.

In last thread’s episode of Who The Hell Else Is Abs Related To Quest, you fortunately discovered that you can in fact get drunk. Then you got drunk and kidnapped by Mibird, via clinging to him like a blond leech. Good job, dumbass, at the very least, this got you towards Water 7, where you’ve now discovered a spy-guy who might be dead (or something), while you angst deeply over your recent discoveries re. the slave trade. Meanwhire, Lolonoa’s swold is heading towalds Ennies Robby, an event which will surely be totally peaceful and drama-free.

We now return you to your scheduled idiocy.

>poor kaku

You glance between Fireplace and your new pet spy-guy, utterly lost.

“C’mon, hand him over!” Abs’ arms are outstretched, eyes wide with... something. Panic? Disbelief? Desperate hope? Indigestion?

>Give him Mr Sneaky Stealthy Spy-Guy
>Cling tighter. “Nuh-uh, he’s mine now!”
>”Ah, I’ve heard of how to solve this! Let’s cut him in half and we can each have a part.”
>Other?
>>
>>3781750
>”Ah, I’ve heard of how to solve this! Let’s cut him in half and we can each have a part.”
>>
>>3781750
>Give him Mr Sneaky Stealthy Spy-Guy
>>
>>3781750
>Give him Mr Sneaky Stealthy Spy-Guy
>>
>>3781750
>>Give him Mr Sneaky Stealthy Spy-Guy
>>
>>3781750
>>Give him Mr Sneaky Stealthy Spy-Guy
>>
>>3781750
Tease him with
>”Ah, I’ve heard of how to solve this! Let’s cut him in half and we can each have a part.”

But then just
>Give him Mr Sneaky Stealthy Spy-Guy
>>
>dis is 4 u

Meh, fine. You didn't want him anyway. Smoboss probably wouldn't let you keep such a big pet on boa- wait, no. You mean... keeping humans is wrong. Yes.

You delicately dump your unconscious burden in Fireplace's arms, like a sack of bricks. "Remember to feed and walk him regularly."

Abs blinks at you. "Wh-what?"

"Ha ha. I'm kidding. Ha ha." You take a quick step back, trying to look innocent. "Soooo, we done here?"

"I... think we covered everything," Fake-Usopp allows, looking around your group like you've each grown two heads. "Was there anything else?"

"No," Mibird says, shortly. "We'll be leaving now."

"Thanks for, uh, stuff," Klaus mumbles, before nudging you back towards the exit, the rest of the group moving with you. "Reeeeally, Prettyboy? You couldn't go ten minutes without pulling some shit?"

>Have you MET me?!
>I found Fireplace's not-dead brother! It was a good deed! (SAD PUPPY FACE)
>Abs appreciates me! ... Right, Abs? ....... Right?
>Other?
>>
>>3781895
>Have you MET me?!
>I found Fireplace's not-dead brother! It was a good deed! (SAD PUPPY FACE)
>Abs appreciates me! ... Right, Abs? ....... Right?
>>
>>3781895
>Abs appreciates me! ... Right, Abs? ....... Right?
Oh god I forgot this story was just as fucked canonically as Silver's Story was.
>>
>>3781895
>>I found Fireplace's not-dead brother! It was a good deed! (SAD PUPPY FACE)
>>
>>3781895
>all of the above

Then cry about the fact that you're actually supposed to just be a photographer but the universe doesn't let you
>>
>Have you MET me?!
>I found Fireplace's not-dead brother! It was a good deed! (SAD PUPPY FACE)
>Abs appreciates me! ... Right, Abs? ....... Right?
>>
>>3781895
>Think of a witty comment
>Stop yourself from voicing it and contemplate on your life
>Realise thru how much shit you went thru
>How much of condense bullshit your life become
>How many life thretning situation you experience
>You own a shichibukai a ship
>WTF?!
>Start hyperventilating becouse of acumulated stress
>>
>>3781907
Fortunately Smoboss has moved past his usual angry freak-outs into a weird zen state of 'Oh look, the dumbass brat has done something dumbass again. C'est la vie'.

>klaus has not yet accepted the bullshit

You roll your eyes like miniature bowling balls that are stuck inside your skull. "Have you MET me?! Besides, I found Fireplace's not-dead brother! It was a good deed!" Attempting your saddest puppy-face look, you stare mournfulmy up at Klaus, who glares back down, unimpressed. "Well.. Abs appreciates me! ... Right, Abs? ....... Right?"

Fireplace spares you a brief glance from his reverent focus on Mr Stealthy. "Oh? Yeah. Sure."

"... Did you even hear what I said?"

"......... No?"

Meh. "Too late, no take-backs!"

Your group of perfectly normal not-lunatics strides back out into Water 7 proper, as you try to figure out your next stop. "Okay... I need disposable weaponry... a few of us need clothes... Abs needs a pet shop..."

"Huh?"

"Never mind," you quickly say, pushing away thoughts of buying Mr Stealthy a chew-toy. "Actually, maybe we DO need a pet shop for Gol D Rodent?"

Klaus considers. "Do pet shops sell pet-sized swords?"

>....... No.
>........... I would normally say no, but we're on the Grand Line and this is apparently bullshit day, so maybe.
>Hmm. Mibird, where could we get a rat sized sword?
>Other?
>>
>>3781954
>........... I would normally say no, but we're on the Grand Line and this is apparently bullshit day, so maybe.
>>
>>3781954
>>....... No.
>>
>>3781954
>Stop referring to Fireplace "brother" as animal because it's super fucked up
>>
>>3782005
>Hmm. Mibird, where could we get a rat sized sword?
And this
>>
>>3781954

>........... I would normally say no, but we're on the Grand Line and this is apparently bullshit day, so maybe.
>>
>>3782005
Hey, now, when you say 'this is mine' while holding someone, it's automatically fucked up. But I prefer to believe it's just your happy, shiny Celestial Dragon blood showing through! But yeah, it'll stop.

>this place is weird

"....... I would normally say no, but we're on the Grand Line and this is apparently bullshit day, so maybe."

"Right! In that case, so long losers, I'm going to ditch your insanity and make my rat buddy happy," Klaus announces, looking relieved at this escape from your crazy. "Let's meet up later... Prettyboy, want me to grab those cheap-ass swords for you?"

>Yes.
>No.
>Other?

"In that case, I believe we don't have much to do while waiting for your... camera," Mibird muses, before casting his freaky gaze over Abs and Mr Stealthy. "Firefist, I take it you want to bring him with us?"

Fireplace nods immediately. "I mean, it's Ennies Lobby, but... with us there, it's fine, right?"

"Probably." He sounds like he doesn't really care. Man, Mibird really loses interest quickly.

>Split up from Mibird and Abs, go get your clothes.
>Stick with Abs and Mibird, look for a place to wait for Mr Stealthy to wake up.
>Stick with Abs, see if you can convince Mibird to get your clothes instead. Like a personal shopper, Shichibukai-style.
>Other?
>>
>>3782059
>Yes.
>Split up from Mibird and Abs, go get your clothes.
>>
>>3782059
>go clothes shopping with mibird and abs while he piggybacks spy-kun

This is something guys do right?!
Go clothes shopping together and try on different outfits while giving each other piggybacks is SUPER MANLY!

...right?
>>
>>3782085
Yes, I am an expert on Human Males and can confirm this is something they often do as pack-bonding. Absolutely. 100%.
>>
>>3782059
>>Yes.
>>Split up from Mibird and Abs, go get your clothes.
>>
>>3782085
Support
>>3782126
Sure but we mostly hide our emotions are weirdly passive agressive and walk as groups
>>
>>3782059
>>3782085
+1
>>
>>3782206
Yes, but still while piggybacking people and trying on clothes. This sounds totally legitimate.

>move along, folks, nothing to see here

As Klaus happily vanishes off with Rodent (who receives a blandly curious look from Mibird), you set your hands on hips and announce, "C L O T H E S."

You're not sure how you did that with your voice, but it was kinda impressive.

Mibird sighs. "Very well."

Abs shakes his head. "I need to get Sabo to-"

"Yeah, nah, he'll wake up on his own time," you admonish. "Seriously, just bring him along. We can hear your dramatic tale of familial love and loss later. Take a breather! Relax!"

Mibird and Abs stare at you like you said something weird, but finally Abs sigh. "I guess it wouldn't be good to force him awake."

"Exactly!" You nod, proud of your brilliant arguments. "Now, Mibird - use your sartorial expertise to guide me towards the domains of clothing excellence!"

"Excellence?" He raises an eyebrow
"On YOUR budget? Really?"

"... Rude."

>Try to scam- uh, convince Mibird to pay for your clothing. (Increased budget and clothing options if you succeed.)
>Work in your own budget - you'll only get to choose ONE new outfit.
>Other?
>>
>>3782293
>>Try to scam- uh, convince Mibird to pay for your clothing. (Increased budget and clothing options if you succeed.)
>>
>>3782293
>>Try to scam- uh, convince Mibird to pay for your clothing. (Increased budget and clothing options if you succeed.)
>>
>>3782293
>Work in your own budget - you'll only get to choose ONE new outfit.
>>
>>3782293
>>Work in your own budget - you'll only get to choose ONE new outfit.
>>
>>3782293
>Work in your own budget - you'll only get to choose ONE new outfit.
>>
>>3782293
>work in your own budget

I feel like we already owe him too much, and with only one outfit at our disposal we'll just have to try on many different things until we get PERFECTION!

But some fashion tips would be appreciated
>>
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>>3782293
>Work in your own budget - you'll only get to choose ONE new outfit.

>P E A C O C K
>F E A T H ER
>C O A T
>>
>>3782363
>>3782373
We're shopping for a disguise, right?
>>
>>3782377
Yes

More specifically our alter ego

Whatever we get it must be capable of covering our chiseled gruff and handsome face
>>
>>3782373
Supporting that so god damn much.
If we don't look like the most pimpish Don to ever walk the earth when we're done, we really fucked up.
>>
>>3782473
But then dr onni-chan might not want to hang out anymore because of his feather induced trauma
>>
>>3782497
As if he'd ever see that its us through the brilliant disguise of the Mysterious, God-Slaying, Dragon of Skypeia Arthur D. Realpirate
>>
>>3782509
It's fairly easy to tell it's us if you know us well enough, just follow the scent of bullshit and look for signs of the impossible and we're probably there
>>
>>3782373
Seasus Crab, MY EYES

>stick to your budget

All right, boys, girls and small spiders of indeterminate but scuttling gender, here comes the CLOTHES VOTE

There were some possible pictures posted in the previous (main) thread that you might want to consider, but feel free to post aaaaany kind of outfit you want. You can combine it with cloaks/masks/whatever, as well.

It would be helpful to use as a disguise for a new identity in Ennies Lobby if you want, or you can just put it on straight away and wear it normally. Your regular white uniform will be fine once it's been washed and had some basic repairs done, so it hasn't been lost.

>Pics or gtfo
>>
>>3782530
Still supporting that feather cloak
>>3782373
>>
>>3782546
If you're going for peacock feather cape, might as well go the full mile.
That said, it's been a while. What is it we're aiming for, here? An outfit for our off hours? A new look for Mysterious Pirate Arthur? A disguise for a new, third identity?
>>
File: 1564680954232.png (155 KB, 619x1114)
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>>3782530
My vote is for this ridiculous shit.
>>
File: el-zorro-P4ARAR.jpg (124 KB, 687x1390)
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>>3782530
I want basically el zollo

But the cape is made out of black and red feathers
>>
>>3782603
Y E S
>>
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>>3782530
Not sure if this fits our mom better though.
>>
>>3782603
Forgot to add my reason

Flashys dragon family are the original rulers of dressrosa, dressrosa is basically Spain/Mexico, so with this we would be unknowingly channeling our heritage and be absolutely stylish whilst doing so
>>
I'm going to bed now, but I just want you all to know that you have terrible taste and I hate you. You're welcome.

Vote will be called in the morning, shortly after I gouge my eyes out. Thanks for playing!
>>
>>3782530
Maybe something like this for our Pirate alter ego
>>
>>3782530
>>3782592
>>3782603
Changing my vote.
>>
I've figured it out. This is the reddit of quests.
>>
File: 1564680833502.jpg (37 KB, 431x600)
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>>3782647
This is pretty good.
But honestly, I liked our old Arthur outfit. Could just get a replacement for that, seeing as it got burnt to shreds.
>>
>>3782592
This.
>>
>>3782592
A bit too dark and drab for my taste.
Maybe replace the mask with a scarf, make all the feathers peacock, and overall brighten the color scheme?
>>
>>3782685
>>3782647
>>3782631
>>3782603
>>3782592
>>3782580
>>3782373
THESE ARE NOT RIDICULOUS ENOUGH
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jf4Nj77PIcg&t=131s
>>
>>3782603
>Show up to help Zoro dressed as Zorro

Perfect, supporting
>>
>>3782603
I like this, but we need to hide our face better.

Supporting >>3782592
>>
>>3782603
Support
>>
>>3782685
I’d go with this. Arthur has a look. Plus we can call Kaku a copycat.
>>
>>3782685
I'll definitely vote for getting a new set of Arthur clothes

>>3782592
But i'll support this too, whether it ends up being a different Flash outfit or another facade, for the man of many weapons, and perhaps, one day, just as many faces
>>
>>3782530
>>3782592
This but with the rest of the face covered like >>3782647
>>
>>3782592
>>3782603
Supporting both!
The third persona shall be Sir Style, recently rising crimestar. People can only imagine the crimes he committed to get to such (Fashionable) notoriety!
>>
>>3782685
this
>>
>>3782603
>support
>>
>>3782592
Support
>>
Okay, that was a longer day than expected.

I'll definitely give you an opportunity to pick up your old Arthur outfit sometime soon because damn, it looked good), but for now we've got a sort-of draw between >>3782592
And
>>3782603

I'll... make this work. Somehow. Sooooomehoooooow.
.... How the crap do I make this work.
>>
>>3784302
Take top hat, mask and coat from this - >>3782592

Shirt, pants, gloves, boots (that thing around his midsection??) and color scheme from this - >>3782603
>>
>>3784302
Nah, just get the zorro one and the other one can just be some 2 for 1 deal

It's a story that doesn't really have an economic mechanic and the reason for why we can have both doesn't really matter, it's just a costume
>>
>FUCK IT WHO CARES ABOUT RULES ANYWAY

"Onwards! To the clothes!" You point dramatically in the direction of the shopping district.

Mibird just stares at you blandly; Abs raises an eyebrow, shifting Mr Stealthy. "You're way too into this."

"I've got one outfit right now," you inform him primly, "which might be fine for you, Mr I Like Showing My Skin As Much As Possible, but I need options. Plus your not-dead brother's reminded me that top hats are cool."

The debate regarding the sheer awesomeness of top hats rages on as your group heads down to the shops, also covering the issues of What Coats Are Best and Is Wearing Pink Manly (yes, obviously).

Fireplace keeps checking on his brother, like the guy's gonna turn to dust and blow away if he keeps his eyes off him for ten seconds, but despite his earlier panic, he seems weirdly happier now. Ecstatic, even. Good luck to 'em, you guess. He's still enough of a dick to innocently suggest the most godawful outfits for you, though.

Then, as the other two men (plus their magnificently-haired cargo) amble off to look at stupidly ostentatious belts, you see it.

Your goddamn Pirate Arthur costume.

The same jacket. Same pants. Same hat. They must be from the same tailor, because it's the exact same thing, you're sure - and even if you can't wear that while you're a Marine, it doesn't matter.

You NEED it.

Casting a furtive glance around, you grab the items and hurry off to the payment counter, filled with NOSTALGIA and GLEE and PIRACY.

It's after you're finishing up, new clothes carefully hidden away in a bag, that you manage to track down Abs and Mibird lurking outside the shop, having apprently made some purchases of their own elsewhere.

"You need to carry them, because I've got Sabo," Abs casually informs you, nudging his bags over to you.

You scowl. "Why can't Mibird carry-"

Mibird looms.

"... Never mind." Assholes. "So, uh, anything else to do while my camera's getting fixed?"

"I'm probably gonna sit Sabo down somewhere and see if he wakes up before.we leave," Fireplace decides. Considering the odd looks he's been getting for lugging the guy around, you can understand. Plus, dude's probably heavy.

"I might as well visit the local swordsmanship school," Mibird says, flicking dust off his sleeve. "They're apparently quite good." He says it dubiously.

>Stick with Abs and Abs-o. Sab-o. Whatever.
>Go swording with Mibird.
>Find a bookstore and science your Devil Fruit.
>Other?
>>
>>3784378
>>Find a bookstore and science your Devil Fruit.
Didn't we have that thingy mcbet with Mibird boat?
>>
>>3784378
>Stick with Abs and Abs-o. Sab-o. Whatever.

>also get the outfit that the voices in your head were arguing about before you were suddenly taken on some kind of RAILROAD by a mysterious 8 legged force
>>
>>3784380
Yes, but you'll have to go to Ennies Lobby and use their library to try and loophole that one. The bookstores here are unlikely to have the necessary information.

Aaaand In giving up and going to bed, because it's taking me about twenty tries to post anything. Thanks for playing and hopefully my connection will be better in the morning.
>>
>>3784380
Yes, but you'll have to go to Ennies Lobby and use their library to try and loophole that one. The bookstores here are unlikely to have the necessary information.

Aaaand In giving up and going to bed, because it's taking me about twenty tries to post anything. Thanks for playing and hopefully my connection will be better in the morning.

>>3784388
Shhhh, the outfits are being sorted. You'll see at Ennies Lobby.
>>
>>3784378
>>Find a bookstore and science your Devil Fruit.
We're not going to burn the island down, r-right? That would be silly.

It's taken far too many tries for this to get through. Enough that I'm starting to suspect I'll get back to this in the morning to find a lot of near identical posts I'll have to delete.
>>
>>3784378
>>Find a bookstore and science your Devil Fruit.
>>
>>3784388
this
>>
>>3784378
>>Find a bookstore and science your Devil Fruit.
>>
>>3784378
>Stick with Abs and Abs-o. Sab-o. Whatever.
Why miss this for some books?
>>
>>3784378
>Find a bookstore and science your Devil Fruit.
>>
>>3784378
>>Stick with Abs and Abs-o. Sab-o. Whatever.
>>
>>3784928
Because we need these books to use our fruit properly.
>>
Just got home from work, no updates tonight, sorry. Late start tomorrow so updates in the morning. Night, all.
>>
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i know it's a bit late, but check out these duds. I think this coat is great.
>>
>>3785806
Is this /fa/ personified?
>>
>>3785806
So stylish, I am in awe.

>5-4 for books

"You do your thing with Mr Stealthy," you tell Abs, with a cheerful voice and a quick finger-gun. "I'm gonna go check out a bookstore."

"Yeah, cool, I'll just wander around around carrying an unconscious guy," says Fireplace, who sounds surprisingly unthrilled by that. Honestly, seems kinda fun to you, but whatever. "I'll rent a room or something, and we'll meet somewhere later, I guess?"

"We probably should have planned this better," you agree, while Mr Stealthy gives a quiet mumble in his peaceful unconsciousness. "Well, if I hear any explosions or see any fires, I'll assume it's you and come running."

"Same back at'cha," Fireplace assures you, which is insulting in its accuracy.

You sulk off to the best bookstore you're directed to, which is three storeys tall and, shockingly, full of books. Paper ones. With words.

>Look for (what topics?)
>Get the help of a staff member.
>Browse randomly, you've got plenty of time.
>Other?
>>
>>3786559
> Get the help of a staff member.
> > "I'm looking for "How to not be a Douchebag 101", "Compulsive Lying And You" also something on electricity and nervous system"
>>
>>3786565
Supporting
>>
>>3786565
support
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>excellent choices

>Roll 3 (three) d100, best of 3

This roll determines how helpful the staff member is, which determines bonus or malus.
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>3786637
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>3786637
>>
Rolled 53, 1, 27 = 81 (3d100)

>>3786637
Oh, shit, whoops.
>>
>>3786661
That's a sexy-lookin' nat1 you got there...
>>
Rolled 5, 86, 61 = 152 (3d100)

>>3786637
>>
Heading to work, will try to update tonight but no guarantees. Might manage to update on break, still need 2 3d100s.
>>
Rolled 1, 95, 91 = 187 (3d100)

>>3786637
Hgf
>>
>>3786661
>>3786681
Flashman, Unsympathetic Liar Supreme, but he at least has learned more how nerves do
>>
welp, at least we got the electricity books
>>
>>3786772
But we made an extreme ass out of ourselves in the meantime, I wouldn't be surprised if they banned us for life and the electricity book just happened to be one of the ones that they chucked at our heads while kicking us out
>>
>>3786637
Shouldn't we have rolled a 4d100 here? We asked about four books.
>>
>>3786894
i think the devil fruit books got bundled into a single roll
>>
>>3786894
>>3786895
To be honest it's makes perfect sense. First two were specific titles and third one had 2 wide topics.
>>
You guys can roll another 1d100 best of 3 for books specifically related to the nervous system if you want. Update soonish.
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3787368
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>3787368
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>3787368
>>
>>3787373
>>3787374
>>3787377
Sure is 4 in here.
>>
>>3787373
>>3787374
>>3787377
>"Nerves of Steel: Fun Facts about the Mini-Messengers that keep your body going, Kid's Science Vol. 44"
>>
>1, 1, 91, 44444444444death444444

The bookstore is open, bright and spacious, which isnl everything a bookshop shouldn't be. At least it has books though, but rather than spending three hours hunting down a particular one among the shelves, you accost a staff member (who looks stoned) and get them to 'help'.

Your search for a book on electricity goes surprisingly well, thanks to 'Electricity For Imbeciles', written for laymen by someone who actually knows what they're talking about.

The nervous system is harder to research - you scrounge up a thin book on the basics, for medical students who want a general overview, but it's nothing spectacular. Apparently the local med students get their textbook elsewhere.

Your hopes on becoming less of an asshole dashed when the staff member completely misunderstands what you want and ends up ringing you up for 'How to Fake Friendships and Manipulate People', and a book on how to lie effectively.

You guess they... Might come in handy?

Ugh.

>Grab a seat and start reading one of the books.
>Wander back out in search of someone (who?).
>Find a public bathroom and change into your Arthur outfit.
>Other?
>>
>>3787448
>Grab a seat and start reading one of the books.
>>
>>3787448
>'How to Fake Friendships and Manipulate People', and a book on how to lie effectively.
>You guess they... Might come in handy?

Well to be honest book that can significantly increse our bullshiting is not something bad.
>>
>>3787448
>>Grab a seat and start reading one of the books.
>>
>>3787448
>Grab a seat and start reading one of the books.
>>
>>3787448
>>Grab a seat and start reading one of the books.
>>
Read about...

>Electricity
>Nervous System
>Manipulation
>Being a Lying Liar Who Lies
>>
>>3787510
>>Nervous System
>>
>>3787510
>>Being a Lying Liar Who Lies
>>
>>3787510
>>Electricity
>>
Need sleep, sorry, update tomorrow morning. Thanks for playing!
>>
>>3787510
>Electricity
We can always make time later to become more of a douche.
Also we can justify this one in our Flashman self (static paramecia)
>>
>>3787510
>>Being a Lying Liar Who Lies
>>
>>3787510
>Electricity
>>
>>3787510
>>3787517
Changing to electricity. We need to destroy these cursed nat1 books before they make Flashy relapse.
>>
>>3787448
>'How to Fake Friendships and Manipulate People', and a book on how to lie effectively.
I thought we got a nat 1. This shit is super beneficial to our Arthur persona.

I feel like this wasn't fully thought out BPQM
>>
>>3787510
>>Being a Lying Liar Who Lies
>>
>>3788452
I mean, the roll wasn't for the books themselves.
It was for how helpful the staff member was in helping us find what we want.
>>
>>3788452
I actually find both Nat1 books super useful in a "is Flashy as manipulative as he thinks he is? & "how to recognize and avoid your own tendency to lie to and manipulate people" perspective.

Not that Flashy is normally introspective enough to really get that out of these, and they could also be horribly written garbage in addition to the opposite of what we were looking for.
>>
>>3787510
>>Electricity
the manipulation and lying books might be useful in our quest to overthrow the government by the power of legal bullshit
>>
>>3787510
>Being a Lying Liar Who Lies
>>
>>3787510
>Electricity
>>
>bzzzt zap electricity

>Roll 1d100, best of 3 to see how much Flashy can SCIENCE
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>3789065
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>3789065
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>3789065
Electricity goes bzaaaap
>>
>>3789077
Results of electricity: Team Rocket blasts off again.

>76, not too shibby-shabby, my little Marinerd

Availing yourself of the provided facilities (aka throwing yourself down in an armchair), you open the book on electricity and start trying to nerd yourself up.

As much as you love paperwork (mmm, paperwork~), you've always learns more by doing than reading, so forcing a book into your brain is hard. Unless it's a regulations book. Those have always fascinated you.

Thankfully, Professor Raiku understands that his readers may include people who HAVE to learn rather than WANT to learn this stuff, and dumbs it down to a level that even you, an orphanage-educated ditz can mostly understand. There are even diagrams! Exciting!

You don't complete the whole thing, naturally, but it gives you some better ideas about how your powers work, and what you might need to try out. You think you figured out how your hyper-speed cannonball bullshit happened too, so it's nice to know that's real science and not just Devil Fruit nonsense.

(Read one third of the electricity book! GGnM: Science skill boosted from D.55 to C.1!)

After a good hour of reading, you mark the chapter end and try to rest your brain. Probably a couple more hours before you meet up and leave for Ennies Lobby... what to do now?

>????
>>
>>3789105
Go see abs and stealth-o,you helped reunite longer lost brothers by accident and you'll be damned if you're not there to take the credit when he gets up!

Also buy some salt, apparently the stuff they have here is the best in the world, might be good for something
>>
>>3789105
>>3789130
+1
>>
>>3789130
>>3789105

+1
>>
>>3789105
>>3789130
Support.
>>
>>3789130
Support
>>
>>3789130
You realise that the special (non-canon) salt is only once the Aqua Laguna has passed?

>find fire-bro and magnificent-hair-bro

With your brain gasping for oxygen, you can't deal with any more studying, which means only one thing to be done: hunt down someone you know and annoy them.

Sorry, see how they are. Right. Yes.

Aaaaanyway, since you reunited two long-lost brothers, this officially makes you a HERO, and that means you're obliged to go and take credit for it if Mr Stealthy has woken up. The only problem is that... You kinda have no idea where they actually went.

Hmmmm.

>Pistol-chan, find Abs and Mr Stealthy!
>(Just wander around town and see if anyone saw the Shichibukai {no, not Mibird} walking about.)
>(He probably went to rent a room. For less than a day. Which means... You gotta check out the brothels.)
>Other?
>>
>>3789388
>>Pistol-chan, find Abs and Mr Stealthy!
DETECTIVE PISTOL-CHAN IS ON THE CASE!
and the salt actually gets sold year round, that cook Sanji met was using it before the aqua laguna struck
>>
>>3789388
>>Pistol-chan, find Abs and Mr Stealthy!
>>
>>3789388
>>Pistol-chan, find Abs and Mr Stealthy!
>>
>>3789388
>Pistol-chan, find Abs and Mr Stealthy!
>>
>>3789394
Okay, you'll buy some on the way. More importantly,

>GO! PISTOL-CHAN! Roll 1d100, best of 3 for sterling detective work!
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>3789431
>>
>>3789388
I'm sure they have some left from Last year, it's not like salt expires or anything

>meitantei pistol-chan go!
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>3789431
GO
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>3789431
>>
>>3789438
pistol-chan is pistol-sama now

why so perfect, detective pistol-samaaaaa
>>
>>3789448
>Pistol-chan is pistol-dono now
Ftfy

Detective pistol is definitely due some respect, but they hate those fruity bastards who refer to themselves as sama
>>
>the exciting adventures of detective pistol-chan continue in water 7

It's time.

To irresponsibly set off a firearm in a crowded locale.

.... Maybe you should go somewhere more private first? Yeah, probably; laden down with books and your new Arthur outfit, you head off down a spacious but empty alley (everywhere's so clean! If you live long enough, maybe you should retire here), and draw your cute companion of JUSTICE, who gleams at you in a dramatic and detective-y manner.

"Track down Abs and his Top-Hat Brother, Detective," you tell them, raising their barrel to a direction that probably won't kill anyone, maybe, hopefully.

Then you throw them in the air like you just don't care.

BANG

"Targets acquired!" You cheer, grabbing the gun off the ground and fist-pumping as you head off towards what's undoubtedly the right direction.

Detective Pistol-chan is so reliable. You should promote them to Chief Detective.

(Pistol-chan Awakening +1!)

You stride determinedly in the appointed direction for just ten minutes (with corrections made for the canals and buildings), when you spot Fireplace stepping out of what seems to be a small doctor's clinic.

>HEY, ABS
>(Sneak up and surprise him like the silent ninja you are at heart.)
>(Climb in through a window and see if Mr Stealthy is awake yet.)
>Other?
>>
>>3789476
>>HEY, ABS
>>
>>3789476
>HEY, ABS
>>
>>3789476
Just walk behind him all casually stealthy like and see how long it takes for him to figure it out

Example
https://youtu.be/qDSTe6A-Flg
>>
>>3789476
>>>HEY, ABS
>>
>HEY, ABS
>>
>>3789497
Support
>>
>y halo thar fireplace

"HEY, ABS," you holler, like an obnoxious young man accosting a prostitute, except that prostitutes tend to wear more clothes than Fireplace.

Abs spins around to face you, reaching up to tip his hat up slightly, while passers-by stare and duck out of the way in case the Shichibukai takes offence at the random Marine yelling at him.

You beam and wave as you approach.

Fireplace shakes his head a little, then walks over. He really has looked more relaxed lately, rather than begrudging his entire existence (or just wanting to kill you), but he looks positively cheery now.

You open your mouth to ask how things are going, as you meet up in the middle, which is when Abs -

Uh.

Okay.

You're being hugged.

Okay.

>HE'S GONNA STAB YOU IN THE BACK, GET AWAY
>Freeze up in confusion.
>Hug back. Never a bad option.
>Other?
>>
>>3789538
>Hug back. Never a bad option.

Semi-namaka Shichibukai get!
>>
>>3789538
>Hug back. Never a bad option.
Note to self, abduct more Sneaky people, it apparently results in people liking us.
>>
>>3789538
>>Hug back. Never a bad option.
Just a bro hug. Nothing weird about it.
>>
>>3789538
>>Hug back. Never a bad option.
>>"...Guess you're happy to have your brother back?"
>>
>>3789538
>>Freeze up in confusion.
Oh shit. Is this the first hug we got without asking?I think Chopper gave us a few didn't he?
>>
>>3789538
>Hug back. Never a bad option.

"Hey man, if I ever get a promotion and get my own ship and stuff, you're welcome to hang out"
>>
You guys are so fucking huggy.

Also, heading home now, update when I get back. Also also, very drunk.

Also also also should be regular updates tomorrow because wooooo, day off!
>>
>huggu huggu

....

...........

................ Hm. Hug. Nice.

You (mentally) shrug and (physically) wrap your arms around Fireplace in turn. He's taken to wearing a open shirt since his Shichibukai status, so you aren't even obliged to feel any Marine panic at potentially touching his Whitebeard tattoo.

"thankyou," he murmurs, quick and quiet in your ear.

Ah, yes. The sweet, beautiful feeling of appreciation. You revel in it for an ecstatic few seconds.

>Well, y'know. It's just what I do. (preen)
>All in a day's work for Marine Supreme, Harry Flashman! (awkwardly finger-gun around the hug)
>I'd like to take credit, but I think it's my weird aura of bullshit that made it happen.
>Other?
>>
>>3789647
>>I'd like to take credit, but I think it's my weird aura of bullshit that made it happen.
>He awake yet?
>>
>>3789647
>>I'd like to take credit, but I think it's my weird aura of bullshit that made it happen.
>>
>>3789647
>>3789649
+1
>>
>>3789649
Support
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>yes flashy is that awesome. also the salt will come soon

"I'd like to take credit, but I think it's my weird aura of bullshit that made it happen." You sort-of-shrug. "He awake yet?"

Fireplace pulls back, still looking happy and non-murderous. "Yeah. He's calling - a friend right now, but we spoke. It sounds like you knocked some memories loose."

Huh?

Abs notices your confused look. "Yeah, he'd completely forgotten about me."

Uh.

You step back slightly, slowly looking Fireplace up and and down. He... isn't exactly forgettable.

"I meant he had amnesia!"

"Geez, say that, then!" You throw your hands in the air. "I thought he just had a really bad memory or something!"

"Well, not any more." He smiles, bright and relieved. "He's busy with his own life now, but... just knowing that he's alive and okay..." Abs trails off, obviously lost for words.

>Sooooo... you gonna tell Strawbrat?
>Why did you think he was dead, anyway?
>Did he say why he was spying on that ship at the docks?
>Other?

Rolling for background stuff.
>>
>>3789678
>Sooooo... you gonna tell Strawbrat?
>>
>>3789678
>>Sooooo... you gonna tell Strawbrat?
>>
>>3789678
>>Sooooo... you gonna tell Strawbrat?
>>
>>3789678
>>Sooooo... you gonna tell Strawbrat?
>>
>>3789678
>Sooooo... you gonna tell Strawbrat?
So I guess Ace kind of likes us now.
>>
>>3789694
Ace? Who's that?

>brother from another mother (and father)

"Soooo.... you gonna tell Strawbrat?"

Fireplace gives a brief scowl - "Don't call him that!" - before shaking his head. "Nah. I don't have his den den number, so I'll have to wait until I next see 'im, unless Sabo wants to track him down himself. Whiiiich, he probably will." He gazes out over the sunny streets of Water 7. "I mean, it's unlikely Luffy's going to end up HERE."

You nod in agreement. "Yeah, I guess leave it to Mr Stealthy."

>Although, uh, I DO have Nico Robin's number. For reasons.
>Not to give you ~ideas~, but does this mean you don't wanna murder me now?
>Dude's totally a pirate, isn't he. You can tell me. I can keep a secret!
>Other?
>>
>>3789726
>Dude's totally a pirate, isn't he. You can tell me. I can keep a secret!
>>
>>3789726
>>Dude's totally a pirate, isn't he. You can tell me. I can keep a secret!
>>
>>3789726
>>Although, uh, I DO have Nico Robin's number. For reasons.
>>
>>3789726
>Although, uh, I DO have Nico Robin's number. For reasons.
>>
>>3789726
Although, uh, I DO have Nico Robin's number. For reasons.
>>
>>3789726
>Although, uh, I DO have Nico Robin's number. For reasons.
>Dude's totally a pirate, isn't he. You can tell me. I can keep a secret!
>>
>>3789726
>Although, uh, someone I know who definetely isn't me DOES have Nico Robin's number. For reasons.
>>
>>3789726
>Although, uh, I DO have Nico Robin's number. For reasons.
>>
>>3789726
>Although, uh, I DO have Nico Robin's number. For reasons.
Firefist is gonna think we're dating robin. This is the closest thing to romance in this quest an the idea of a serious flashman denying affection for robin while everyone assumes he's lying and robin is left flustered from trying to process something so terribly misunderstood gives me this feeling in my heart. I think it's joy.
>>
>>3789872
Gland-chan is the only waifu we need.
>>
>>3789913
But anon don't you know.
Gland-chan isn't from this world
>>
>>3789726
>Although, uh, I DO have Nico Robin's number. For reasons.

Robin's gonna be confused as hell
>>
>>3789872
I think that peoples, Robin included, would assume that we're intellectual rivals waging a great battle of wits between two masterful schemers where both side are constantly trying to out-keikaku each others in a bid to prove their superiority when we really just bumble our way into success by mistake but are good at making it look like we planned it all along.
>>
>>3790116
>just happens to be aboard the Strawhat Ship when it goes to a place where nobody has apparently visited for years
>It's ruled by a God with an invincible Devil Fruit
>The random fucking marine Commander just happens to kill God and get the invincible devil fruit and

and...
OH SHIT I FORGOT ACE WAS THE ONE WHO BURNED THE SHIT OUT OF ROBIN
ABORT.
ABOOOOOOOOORT
>>
>>3790126
Just say "Hey Robin, pass the call to Luffy". There, problem solved. Tho, we should tell Abs to apologize later.
>>
>>3790126
Mmm, juicy drama
>>
>>3790141
You remember what arc we are in right?
>>
Whoops
Meant >>3790147
for >>3790138
>>
>>3789872
Mmm, juicy Robin shipping, I'm so glad I started the trend, even if nothing ever comes from it it's just that tension between the two of them that I like

But >>3790126
Is right, if we call her we'll probably just ask her to pass us to someone else, like zolo or strawlad
>>
Alright I just binged the archives over the course of a couple days. Running on about four hours of sleep total. And holy fucking hell. I haven't been this hype thanks to dice since improvaizen. Also simultaneously disappointed in said dice. Really I'm not sure how I feel about the dice. They are just too strong. In both directions.

But this quest is the most fun I've had since the board split so thank you and congratulations.

Also the playerbase is fucking nuts. And don't even try to argue you psychotically giddy dice-mongers.
>>
>>3790272
We are as the dice made us
>>
>>3790305
Praise be unto the dice. May they ever fall upon this salted earth with hundos.
The salt is from BP tears from said hundos.
>>
>>3790272
Welcome to Hell, please abandon all hope at the door! Thankfully the dice seem to have mostly calmed down. Sort of. It's all nat1's from here on out.

>your waifu is sugar, and she will never abandon you~ <3

Hmm. Maybe... Strawbrat should know? You cough awkwardly, suddenly finding the local architecture fascinating. "Although, uh, I DO have Nico Robin's number. For reasons."

"........" Abs verbalizes loquaciously. "Uh. Do I... want to know what those reasons are?"

You pull a face. "I had to go temporarily undercover as a pirate. Then I got kidnapped and ended up your brother's ship for a while. It was a thing."

Fireplace's lips twitch. "You - got kidnapped by my little brother."

"Well, technically -"

Then he points and laughs at you. "Haaa! This is great! Luffy kicked your ass! That's karma!"

Your face morphs into a full scowl as he nearly chokes around his continued hilarity. "I was drunk, no-one kicked- STOP LAUGHING DAMMIT!"

He doesn't.

>Strangle him. Gently. With affection.
>Teeny tiny electro-zap him.
>Kick him in the shin like a ten year old.
>Other.
>>
>>3791351
>Kick him in the shin like a ten year old.
>>
On an unrelated note and not being entirely caught up with the series, what if that fancy third world ending weapon has something to do with all those moons the world seems to have? We know at least one moon has a city on it. But all those others? Pluton is a crazy boat. Poseidon is seaking talkygirl. We got something for the surface of the sea and something for under the sea so what are the odds the last thing is above the sea? At first I'd thought it'd be funny if it WAS Ark Maxim but then I remembered Enel built the thing so it couldn't possibly be old enough to be Uranus. But something built on those celestial bodies? It's crazy enough. And it's not like getting to space is hard in universe.

Or maybe it's something dumb like a trebuchet I don't know. Until I find out for sure my headcanon is that Uranus is some sort of space cannon or something built on the things orbiting the world though. Anyone else speculated on it?

>tfw you only thought about it now because anon was talking about shipping Robin and it reminded you of the tree at Ohara

>>3790191
Thank you anon, for making me curious and have to research episodes to make sure I wasn't crazy about the moons around the world. Unless the tree was wrong, of course.
>>
>>3791351
>>Kick him in the shin like a ten year old.
then
>>Strangle him. Gently. With affection.
>>
File: 8653765427637865.jpg (24 KB, 600x334)
24 KB
24 KB JPG
>>3791351
>tfw posting crackpot hypotheses makes me miss an updoot

>Kick him in the shin like a ten year old.
Hope is for people who can't change the world on their own. Or something about being a winner.
>>
>>3791351
>>Kick him in the shin like a ten year old
(with arnament haki)
>>
>>3791351
>If I got caught by Strawbrat, and I caught you, then by all logic, you got beat up by your own little brother! That's gotta sting huh Abs
>>
>>3791391
This is GOOD
>>
>>3791391
Fucking this
>>
>>3791391
Hilarious, support.
>>
>>3791362
>>3791391
Sure I'll change to this. Facts and logic.
>>
>>3791391
>>3791406
>"HOT-HEADED SHICHIBUKAI SHOCKED WITH FACTS AND LOGIC BY CHARMING AND SKILLED MARINE COMMANDER"
>>
>>3791391
Perfection using "<" and ">" logic its 1/1
>>
If we get the whole "I can listen to an entire island" thing working by the time we have to fuck up Uncle Doffy, Dressrosa will be fun.
Sugar will have a truly awful experience.
>>
>>3791391
...yes, +1
>>
Update soonish, having a day out. This update'll be fun...
>>
File: TotallyNotFlashman.jpg (150 KB, 1920x956)
150 KB
150 KB JPG
>>3791462
At least something this day will be.

Btw, I'm back, in the darkest hour of need (???).
Or something.
Anyway enjoy, I tried to mash-up the costumes. It didn't really work out.
>>
>i am rubber (actually, that's luffy), you are glue (or fire, whatever)

You really wanna kick him. In the shin. But you are a mature and professional Marine with impeccable self-control, so you instead scowl in manly and not at all pointy way, and fold your arms while Fireplace giggle-snorts like the immature and unprofessional pirate that he is. Is he technically still a pirate? Whatever.

"If I got caught by Strawbrat, and I caught you," you snidely announce, "then by all logic, you got beat up by your own little brother! That's gotta sting, huh, Abs?"

The laughter switches off as quickly as Smoboss' interest vanishes when you and Ta-sis start babbling over swords. Instead, Fireplace's eyes narrow at you as a little steam puffs out from his shoulders. "What."

You smile. Sweetly. "I was just wondering whether you getting beaten up by your little brother was a regular thing. Tell me honestly, do you cry afterwAACKKGETTOFF ME!!"

"I KICK HIS ASS, HE DOESN'T KICK MINE," Abs yells, your neck caught in the crook of his elbow as his headlock catches you off guard. What was his bounty? Half a billion? You're sort of seeing why, because you didn't even see him move just then.

"*I'LL* KICK YOUR ASS, THEN!" Your own elbow lashes out into his side, causing only a small flinch, as Abs tries to drag you further down, which you kindly assist by hooking your ankle around his and bringing both of you down to the (wonderfully clean) pavement.

It's when you're trying to strangle Fireplace with his hat cord, and he's trying to grind your face into the ground that the pair of you finally realize you have an audience; looking up to see Mr Stealthy sitting cross-legged in front of the doctor's clinic, trying to keep a straight face. Oh, and quite a few civilians are hanging around too. You think they're taking bets.

>.... (take advantage of Abs' distraction and GO FOR THE KILL)
>......... hi. (wave at Mr Stealthy)
>................. (just awkwardly try to pretend you're chilling on the ground and not having a kindergarten-style squabble with a Shichibukai)
>Other?
>>
>>3791478
HE LIVES

Thank you, Flashy looks a terrifying and stupidly overdramatic delight! (The capr if spectacular.) But if anyone tries to have him wear a flamingo mask, I will personally destroy you all.

... He actually looks like a magician. Hmmmm. Ideeeeas.
>>
>>3791488
>>......... hi. (wave at Mr Stealthy)
>> Everything is OK folks, just marine business
>>
>>3791488
>.... (take advantage of Abs' distraction and GO FOR THE KILL)
2 for dashing marine 0 for looser shichibukai
>>
>>3791488
WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT!?

(DRAG HIM INTO THE EPIC BATTLE[petty squabble between manchildren]BETWEEN PIRATES AND MARINES)
>>
>>3791488
>......... hi. (wave at Mr Stealthy)
>>
>>3791501
>support

I feel like an all out brawl between marines,pirates,and revolutionaries is the only appropriate choice.
>>
>>3791478
It needs more peacocks.
>>
>>3791501
Support
>>
>tfw viewers following the Strawhats are about to enter flashback hell in order to understand who the fuck Sabo is
A complex feeling
>>
>>3791540
flashy gets adopted as the fourth brother
>>
>>3791543
>luffy is still the little brother and has to take everyone's crap

Life is good sometimes strawhat, life is good for us and not for u
>>
>>3791543
Dadquest is now over.
Broquest begins.

Can't wait for Fireplace to hear the shit that went on on Skypeia.
Just defeating another Logia User, no biggie. Just the strongest (debatable, but a strong contender) logia.
With a skate.

Also our newfound mastery of the cannonball.
Railgun Cannonball soon.
>>
>>3791548
the real reason garp adopts us
>>
Any more votes or is it time for an epic 3-way battle of the ages? (Aka a hair-pulling slap-fight in the middle of Water 7 while a bunch of civilians pick a team and start cheering you on.)
>>
>>3791488
>......... hi. (wave at Mr Stealthy)
>>
>>3791559
Yeah, it's time for an epic slap fight, make sure to give them the purple nurple and a good noogy
>>
>>3791501
>support
>>
>>3791551
What did Garp think about Sabo anyway?

I wonder what he will make of this development.
"What the fuck"?
>>
>>3791559
ABSOLUTE JUSTICE
>>
Rolled 49, 10, 9, 77 = 145 (4d100)

Rollin' for s t u f f
>>
>>3791598
Incredible.

Embarrassing, but incredible.
>>
>>3791601
spill, whats so funny?
>>
>>3791602
I'm guessing that was Ace's 3d100 vs Sabo's 1d100
>>
>>3791607
But when do we get to roll?

I mean we'll lose with anything less than a 1000 ,but still, it's a courtesy thing
>>
>>3791607
I mean, I just rolled once for each of you and once for the mysterious fourth person who apparently beats you all up, but if you guys just want to have the three of you, I'll ask for rolls instead. What would you prefer?

P.S., the fourth person is Mr Speedy, who's pissed off about you morons rolling around when he's trying to sleep in your pocket.
>>
>>3791618
...please keep the ones where the snail beats up 2 logias and a revolutionary commander
>>
>>3791618
That's too silly, even for this quest.
>>
>>3791618
A Mysterious fourth person? Could it be that the dashing flashman is abducted by mysterious hero arthur, who then proceeds to lay down the law to the two remaining uncouth brawlers?
>>
>>3791618
>I agree, too silly, but I suggest that no matter who ends up winning we all just mysteriously trip on some slime stealing any possible coolness points from this preschool squabble
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

Rolling for flashman counterattack
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>3791629
Are we doing this?
>>
Okay, here we go!

>Roll 2 (two) d100, best of 3! First is you, second is Abs.

My roll is for Sabo.

Abs bonus is +50, Sabo is +70 (they're just dicking around, or the bonus would be higher). Yours is, uh... +39 due to General Fitness. You haven't really trained in unarmed close-quarters brawling.

Also if you start bringing out Armament, they'll do it too.
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>3791646
Misspelled the roll, good job, me.
>>
Rolled 32, 64 = 96 (2d100)

>>3791646
>>
Rolled 17, 60 = 77 (2d100)

>>3791646
we trained some H2H with bepo but not sure if that counts
>>
Rolled 30, 82 = 112 (2d100)

>>3791646
FLASHMAN IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY
>>
The man who captured Portgas D Ace, everyone!
>>
>>3791646
We got destroyed, this means we're the runt of the litter

B-but once strawhat gets here then he'll be the runt, right?
>>
>>3791650
>>3791651
>>3791652
Sabo 82 + 70 = 152
Ace 77 + 50 = 127
Flashy 96 + 39 = 135

Pfft, we beat Abs. And that's what is important.
>>
>>3791661
Wait, shit, I misread that entirely. We got shitwrecked. Never mind.
>>
>>3791663
yea thiss is why flashy uses weapons, he no punch so good
>>
>>3791666
B-but we have kung fu panda (panda kung-fu)

We atleast got one good punch in, r-right
>>
>>3791653
>Ace's fw he realizes that when he got captured earlier he wasn't actually facing the most dangerous (and handsome, and manly, and tall) future-predicting marine in the navy but an absolute goof who needs to work out more
>>
Rolled 96, 62, 23 = 181 (3d100)

>>3791666
32 + 39 = 71 you
82 + 50 = 132 abs
82 + 70 = 152 mr stealthy
Abs and Sabo got that brotherly bond going with the same roll... I'm impressed. Meanwhile, you suck.

>>3791652
Your general fitness is higher so I went with that, but if you'd prefer to get your ass kicked even more, I'm cool with that!

Y'ALL SUCK, I LOVE IT.

Hypothetical 3d100 to see how Doctor Oniisan would do.
>>
>>3791680
Lawstomp.
>>
>>3791680
Abs and Sabo bully poor Flashy.
>>
>>3791681
No-one beats up his little bro (except for him).

>plz no hurt little flashy, he weak & fragile

Ah.

Another fool, laughing.

There must be... JUSTICE.

"WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT!?" And with that polite query, you twist off the ground and out of Fireplace's suddenly lax grip, arms outstretched and fingers hooked into claws as you lunge at the now wide-eyed Mr Stealthy.

Apparently it's difficult for even guys with super-reflexes to dodge (or catch you again) when they're sitting cross-legged after having recently woken up from unconsciousness, because he just has time to squeak, "AT YO-" before you slam into him like a cannonball into whatever Garp throws it at.

Aka, violently. And resulting in screams.

Mr Stealthy splays backwards as he hits the ground, reaching up to yank at your hair and coat - then you hear a defiant yell and footsteps from behind, before a small house lands on your back.

Or Abs. Seriously, dude, lose some weight.

The three of you roll across the street in blissful, violent stupidity, as the growing crowd cheers their approval at particularly effective kneeings or punches.

Pirate vs Marine vs Spy. The showdown of the ages, as you yank at Spy-Guy's (luxuriously silky) hair, ignoring his yell to watch his hat, Fireplace trying to give you a Hanoese burn (ultimate dick move), twelve limbs kicking, hitting and generally flailing, like a bizarre three-headed octopus. Or whatever the word would be for twelve. Deca-deuxpus? You don't know or care, you're too busy trying to bite through Spy-Guy's coat and into his shoulder.

"VENGEANCE," Fireplace yells in joy and merriment, a tone completely at odds with the way he manages to latch onto you and NO NOT A SUPLEX

It is, regrettably, a suplex.

You shriek like a banshee as you hit the ground, cheek pressed against the pavement, pinned with Abs' knee on your spine (ow), arms twisted behind you as you wriggle to no avail, Spy-Guy laughing loudly as he probably watches. "Surrender, Trashcan!"

Trashcan?! TRASHCAN?!?!? THERE'S ONLY ONE GUY WHO MAKES UP STUPID NICKNAMES HERE, AND THAT'S ow ow ow that hurts

>I surrender! I surrender!
>Stealthy, come save me again! I'll give you... candy?
>W-wait! Let's team up against your brother!
>Other?
>>
>>3791700
>I yield! I yield!
>Never should of come here!
>>
>>3791706
Kek, this.
>>
>>3791700
>>3791700
>W-wait! Let's team up against your brother!
>If you don't I wont make you cupcakes for a month!
reminder that the last time Abs had one of our cupcakes it was a nat 100 cupcake
>>
>>3791706
+1
>>
>>3791700
If only Ace were ticklish we could have won.
>Stealthy, come save me again! I'll give you... candy?
Never surrender to Ace. That'll mess up our winning record with him.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>3791718
It's too late, you're Trashcan now and forever.

Vote remains open while I eat, also rolling for how ticklish you are.
>>
>>3791713
Support
>>
>>3791700
>>3791713
+1
>>
>>3791719
Does higher = more, or less?
>>
>>3791729
More, so pray no enemy ever attempts to tickle you in combat.
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>3791730
>rolling for best smodad to accidentally figure it out
>>
>>3791700
>Stealthy-kun help!
He's bullying me and his nicknames are lame unlike my awesome ones!

Blondes should stick together
>>
>>3791700
>>3791739
>support

An opportunity for a delicious 3way tie,how could anyone resist
>>
>>3791700
>>3791739
+1 support
>>
>>3791700
>MARINES NEVER SURRENDER UNYIELDING WITH NO FE... owie owie let me goooooo I SURRENDER!
>>
>>3791743
You sicken me.

Now we have a 3-way tie, with 3 votes each, unless someone's changed vote. Please say if you have, otherwise vote remains open. And then the police come and arrest you all for public disturbance.
>>
>>3791754
I mean technically my vote is for asking Stealthy for help as well making it a 4-3-3 vote if you roll it into the others also asking Sabo for help.
>>
I vote for a team up against sabo
>>
>>3791754
>police come and arrest you all

You say that like it's a bad thing, the greatest bonds are those forged while doing hard time inside the slammer...for like 2 hours before klaus comes and bails our dumbasses out because he expected this to happen the second we found stealthy man

It'll be fun and we'll finally experience what it's like to get our pictures taken
>>
>>3791754
Does this mean I should actually vote? My god. The Power.

>W-wait! Let's team up against your brother!
>>
>>3791763
Damn you.
>>
Rolled 55, 48, 73 = 176 (3d100)

>>3791760
Okay, so that's 1 more against Abs...

>>3791763
And 1 against Sabo.

>>3791772
And another against Sabo! Looks like attempted team-up with Abs.

>Roll 1d100 best of 3 for verbal brilliance.

My roll is for Abs to decide that nah, he'd rather embarrass and noogie you.
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>3791788
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>3791788
I'm going to fail this roll as vengeance.
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>3791788
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>3791788
Dammit
>>
>>3791788
"You'd sell out your own brother for a cupcake"!?

>"IN A HEARTBEAT,NOW PREPARE YOURSELF FOR AN ATOMIC WEDGIE"

It was a very good cupcake to be fair
>>
>>3791809
But was it as good as Sanji's cupcakes?
>>
>>3791813
Sanji is an S Class chef who can make anything. Flashy is an S Class baker who can make sweets. Everyone knows a specialist will beat out a generalist at their specialty!
>>
>89 vs 73, noice

"W-wait! Let's team up against your brother! If you don't I won't make you cupcakes for a month!"

Fireplace freezes. "... You'll make more cupcakes?"

This is good. You think. "Yeeees?"

Mr Stealthy sounds less sure. "Uh -cupcakes? What?"

"I'm sorry, Sabo," Abs says, voice calm as you feel his hands and knee vanish from your back. "But this can't end any other way."

"Motherfu-" Mr Stealthy manages, before Fireplace dropkicks him in the face.

The watching crowd send up cheers and groans, exchanging money, while you force yourself to your feet, brushing yourself down smugly.

You are a tactical genius, you decide, as the Brothers Dim throw down in the street. Why are you not an Admiral yet?

>Actually help Abs
>Stand back and watch.
>You know what? Maybe it's time to quietly disappear...
>Other?
>>
>>3791824
>>Actually help Abs
screw it lets have fun with this
>>
>>3791824
>Other?
I want to roll 1d100 to find a really good cupcake right here right now as a reward for Ace if he wins.
>>
>>3791824
>actually help abs

But if you throw a few kicks at him in the confusion of battle nobody could possibly blame you
>>
>>3791824
>>Actually help Abs
Well a deal is a deal.
I actually want to climb onto the roof of the shop and drop an atomic elbow on them both but that'd be a dick move. And we'd probably be kill by gravity.
>>
>>3791824
>>Actually help Abs
>>
>>3791824
>Actually help Abs
>Regret not having the camera on us, as otherwise a photo of this moment would be perfect to hang over abs in the future
>>
>>3791824
>Find a barrel
>Drag in towards a fight
>Climb on top of it
>Double flying elbow
>>
W7WF
Water 7 Wrestling Federation!
>>
Are the Strawhats here yet?
I forgot.
What a bizzare scene this is.
>>
>>3791891
not yet, they get here like 2 days after we leave
>>
Can i use my crit to guarantee that when Robin gives her speech about Ohara there is a denden conveniently placed so Flashy and the crew of the mist hear all of it? The drama is too sweet to pass up
>>
>>3791895
i mostly really want Ta-sis to hear it, sicne she missed the wake up cal that was Alabasta and i want to shatter her world view in a way she cant deny
>>
>>3791895
I'll consider it, but I have zero idea how EL is going to go now you've screwed up the Merry, Sogeking, Ace and Sabo, Mihawk, Kaku and Wado, and pretty much everything. So we'll see when we get there.

Also going through London Underground so wifi a shit.

>Any details on helping Abs, or just throw yourself in and hope for the best?
>>
>>3791830
HJCAnon only, roll ONE d100.
>>
>>3791922
>screwed up
Personally I'd say they've -improved- 80% of those things but okay.

Since we probably shouldn't drop an elbow on them maybe we should try to grab one of Sabo's arms? Full Nelson?
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>3791926
Power of Sugar, be my hope!
>>
>>3791930
Drat. No cupcake for Abs.
>>
>>3791922
>EL
Haha
Spandam and Lucci are going to fucking die.
>>
>>3791922
>Inb4 for Sato Losing Memories Electric Boogaloo 2
>>
>mfw you give him amnesia again
>mfw you end up recruiting him for the marines
>dragon's fw he finds out what happened to his 2ic
>>
>>3791922
>>3791929
Supporting Full Nelson.
>>
>>3791951
Haha...don't pls

I mean it's no secret that in order to change the screwed up world we're going to have to kick some noble ass, and for that we need Revolutionaries
>>
>>3791922
>>Kidney punch!
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>ASSIST

>Roll 2 (twooooo) d100, best of 3. First is you, 2nd Abs.
>>
Rolled 30, 58 = 88 (2d100)

>>3791973
Well this can only go wrong.
>>
Rolled 67, 28 = 95 (2d100)

>>3791973
>>
Rolled 25, 7 = 32 (2d100)

>>3791973
damn Sabo rolled well
>>
Rolled 72, 45 = 117 (2d100)

>>3791973
God tier Sabo
>>
>>3791951
Dammit sabo, let me win!

Although in all seriousness he earned that win, guess he's not the #2 most wanted man on the planet for nothing
>>
Update soonish, walking home.

Sabo best boi.
>>
>>3791989
His Bounty is only 602 mil tho.

Which is kinda pathetic for who he is, honestly.
>>
>>3792025
Akainu was jealous of his hair and thus lowered his bounty to insult him. This is 100% canon and I would never lie to you.

>sabo is so strong and manly kyaaaaa

With the power of potential cucKds pushing you on, you stick to your agreement ad valiantly head forth to assist in battle. By which you mean you try to sneak around and grab Mr Stealthy in a full nelson.

Yeeeeeah. Turns out you shouldn't try to out-stealth Mr Stealthy, because he promptly ducks under your arms, the giant pole strapped to his back nearly hitting your face, then twists to avoid Abs' blow, grabs you around the waist, and throws you at Fireplace.

Well. At least he used you as a projectile rather than a melee weapon?

As both you and Fireplace go down in a like of tangled limbs and panicked yelps, Mr Stealthy saunters over, pressing one boot gently down on your back (your spine, AGAIN?!), Abs pinned beneath you, and then taps the back of your head with what's probably the metal pipe.

Abs scowls up at the undoubtedly-smug guy above you, then tilts his head to look at you, expression turning hopeful. ".... Do I still get cupcakes?"

>No. You don't deserve them.
>A deal's a deal, but you suck. Just lettng you know.
>... Yeah, fine, I guess. (sulk)
>Other?
>>
>>3792080
>>A deal's a deal, but you suck. Just letting you know.
>>
>>3792080
>>A deal's a deal, but you suck. Just lettng you know.
>>
>>3792080
>With the power of potential cucKds pushing you on,
Woah. I didn't think Flashy was into that.

>A deal's a deal, but you suck. Just lettng you know.
This makes two brothers Ace has lost too. And he's supposed to be the cool (but hot?) and strong older brother.
>>
>>3792080
>>A deal's a deal, but you suck. Just lettng you know.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>3792086
That was supposed to be cupcakes, but I prefer it with the typo.

>>3792086
Shameful, and this is without Gland-can, too. Speaking of, let's see if Oniichwan has burned the bitch yet...
>>
>>3792080
>A deal's a deal, but you suck. Just lettng you know.
>>
>>3792080
>>A deal's a deal, but you suck. Just lettng you know.
>>
>>3792089
To be fair cupcakes and cuck-cakes are probably both incredible motivators. Are we going to try to frost a fire being extinguished by the kanji for "brother" on Ace's cupcake?

>Law continues to play a dangerous game
>>
>my typos increase by 300% when I type while lying down, but it's comfy so I don't care

You scowl down at him, only slightly cheered by the fact you're technically taller than him right now. Stupid tall people. "A deal's a deal, but you suck. Just letting you know."

Fireplace gives a rolling shrug beneath you, all casual. "Eh, no shame in losing to Sabo. Although this is just a fluke, I'm still stronger than 'im."

"Reeeeeally?" The voice from above you is politely disbelieving, the pipe nudging you a little harder. "How's that working out for you, Ace?"

Fireplace looks innocently up at the guy, all sweetness and light. "Oh, pretty well, how about you?"

"Can we PLEASE get up now?" You can't help interrupting. Your back's sore, and unlike Fireplace, you aren't used to getting beaten up.

"Awww, sorry, Commander," Mr Stealthy coos, obviously amused, but his pipe and boot vanish, letting you roll off the Shichibukai and scramble to your feet.

The audience gives a round of light applause now the show's over, finishing the last of their payments, and most start dispersing. Meanwhile, you glare at Mr Stealthy, who grins back at you with an obnoxiously hearty smile, and Abs jumps to his feet looking like he went for a Sunday stroll rather than any kind of actual fight.

Ugh. You have a feeling that if they'd been fighting seriously, you'd have been out in five seconds flat. Possibly even WITH your Devil Fruit, considering at least Abs has Armament.

>No cupcake for you. And you're welcome for the memories, Mr Stealthy. (imperious scowling ensues)
>... So how are you blond, with two black-haired brothers?
>By the way, if Mr Stealthy's a pirate, I don't wanna know. Plausible deniability and all that.
>Other?
>>
>>3792131
>>By the way, if Mr Stealthy's a pirate, I don't wanna know. Plausible deniability and all that.
>> do you guys still wanna call strawbrat?
>>
>>3792131
>>No cupcake for you. And you're welcome for the memories, Mr Stealthy. (imperious scowling ensues)
>Speaking of, what were you even hiding for? Did I provoke you a meltdown for nothing?
>>
>>3792131
>... So how are you blond, with two black-haired brothers?
>Before you say anything keep in mind that we're officially both Marines so for your sake skip over details that we can't justify with "plausible deniability". Like piracy. Or being a sneaky boi around Marines.
>>
>>3792131
>>... So how are you blond, with two black-haired brothers?
>>
>>3792131
>>... So how are you blond, with two black-haired brothers?
He's blond. He's also stronger than both his brothers. This must be a sign.
>>
>>3792131
>No cupcake for you. And you're welcome for the memories, Mr Stealthy. (imperious scowling ensues)

I think Flashy would be person that would get that FAMILY doesn't need to be blood related
>>
Gotta sleep, updates from earlyish afternoon tomorrow. Thanks for playing, night all!
>>
Night QM! Thanks for running!
>>
>i was honestly going to update earlier, but then i pulled three 5 star characters on a gacha so obviously i had to level them. sorry?

Now is the time to ask the question you've been pondering for an entire thirty seconds or so. "... So how are you blond, with two black-haired brothers?"

Mr Stealthy seems taken aback for a whole 0.01 seconds, then smiles brilliantly. "Ace and Luffy dye theirs."

"Aaaah," you nod wisely. "That makes sense."

"How does that make any sense?!" Fireplace is less impressed, reaching over to grab the back of your coat collar. "That's it, we're going inside. You two can be idiots in private."

"Probably a good idea," Mr Stealthy agrees, moving towards the clinic door. "I heard a gunshot earlier, the local police might be a bit twitchy."

"Hahaha oh no not a gunshot," you innocently say, eyes flicking around perfectly innocently as Fireplace drags you inside as well. He squints suspiciously at you, but your charm and purity clearly allay his suspicions. Except that he keeps shooting you wary looks, so maybe not.

"But to ACTUALLY answer your question, all three of us have different parents, and my hair is perfectly natural," Fireplace adds, giving his brother a scowl as you wander through to a small, sterile room with a rumpled bed. Presumably where Mr Stealthy woke up.

"That's a lot more boring than I was hoping for," you admit. So Garp is Fireplace's bio grandfather? Maybe? Or Strawbrat's? Probably not Mr Stealthy, based on his immaculate blond hair, but that could always come from the other side of the family. Or maybe HE dyes it.

Abs rolls his eyes, and reaches over to casually shove you towards a chair, while Mr Stealthy settles himself on the bed. "Yeah, yeah. So, you have Robin's number, huh? I... probably shouldn't speak to her, but if you can get me through to Luffy..."

Mr Stealthy perks up. "Robin? Nico Robin?"

Fireplace glances over. "Yeah, Commander Trashcan here got himself kidnapped by Luffy somehow -"

"I was drunk."

"- and now I guess he's buddies with Nico Robin or something."

"No way!" Your denial is furious. "If I'm buddies with anyone on that ship, it's Doctor Cutie!" And maybe Zolo, but you're not admitting to that. Nuh-uh. You're ~RIVALS~.

Mr Stealthy stares at you. "Doctor... Cutie?"

"He's a cutie," you throughly explain.

"True," Abs agrees.

"I regret getting my memories back..." murmurs Mr Stealthy, reaching up to rub his forehead. "Right, everyone being nuts aside, could I speak to Nico Robin as well as Luffy? I have... business with her."

>I hope you aren't planning on kicking her ass for anything, because Strawbrat's kinda protective.
>Sure, but Abs should probably talk to your brother first, before you get on the line like a spooky ghost.
>Oh Seasus, don't tell me she's another long-lost sibling?
>Other?
>>
>>3793406
>I hope you aren't planning on kicking her ass for anything, because Strawbrat's kinda protective.
>>
>>3793406

>I hope you aren't planning on kicking her ass for anything, because Strawbrat's kinda protective.
>Sure, but Abs should probably talk to your brother first, before you get on the line like a spooky ghost.
>look at him suspiciously

It's not like WE'RE protective of Robin-chan at all b-baka,but we do owe her and putting someone we owe things in danger is just a dick move
>>
>>3793406
>Sure, but Abs should probably talk to your brother first, before you get on the line like a spooky ghost.
>>
>>3793406
>Sure, but Abs should probably talk to your brother first, before you get on the line like a spooky ghost.
>I hope you aren't planning on kicking her ass for anything, because Strawbrat's kinda protective.
>>
>>3793406
>>Sure, but Abs should probably talk to your brother first, before you get on the line like a spooky ghost.
>>
>>3793409
>supporr

Why must you tempt me with tsundere flashy
>>
>>3793414
Support
>>
>robinxfranky 4eva

You shrug. "Sure, but Abs should probably talk to your brother first, before you get on the line like a spooky ghost. And I hope you aren't planning on kicking her ass for anything, because Strawbrat's kinda protective."

Mr Stealthy's lips twitch. "I promise to be entirely non-threatening," he vows, voice mock-solemn. He glances at Abs. "Are you gonna call now?"

Fireplace, knowing you're the one with both number and den den, looks to you.

>Go for it.
>Sure, but, uh, say you got this number from a guy called Arthur, rather than a devastatingly handsome Marine.
>Hooooold up, I got questions first. (What?)
>Other.
>>
>>3793441
>Sure, but, uh, say you got this number from a guy called Arthur, rather than a devastatingly handsome Marine.
>>
>>3793441
>Sure, but, uh, say you got this number from a guy called Arthur, rather than a devastatingly handsome Marine.

Tell him he thinks blue hair is lame and guys with flower shirts are lame
>>
>>3793447
>blue hair is lame
Are you dissing my sexy Nojiko and beautiful Vivi?! Shame on you, scoundrel!
>>
>>3793441
>Go for it.
I assume we are calling her the handing den-den to brother duo. Se we will explain situation.
And have occasion to fuck with Robin-chan, also potential to create more confusion about our relationship with Robin
>>
>>3793449
SHE ABANDONED HER PEOPLE RIGHT AFTER A CIVIL WAR!

SHE'S SUPER LAME AND UNCUTE
>>
>>3793451
THE COUNTRY HAS WATER AND EVERYONE LOVES THE KING AGAIN, IT'S ALL COOL THERE

PLUS SHE WAS KIDNAPPED BY THOSE EVIL STRAWHATS AND THAT VILLAIN KOHZA, POOR VIVI-HIIIIIIIIME (plus duck)

MOST IMPORTANTLY SHE'S CUTE AF, YOU'RE THE UNCUTE ONE

So there.
>>
>>3793454
I'll roll another crit, I'll do it, don't tempt me, I will!
>>
>>3793449
She’s not nami levels of bitch so I like her, I prefer he over nami in terms of being a crew mate anyway. Shame vivi is fucking useless though.
>>
>>3793456
The only crit you'll roll is critical failure because THAT'S WHAT YOUR TASTE IS
>>
>>3793465
>woke up this morning
>decided to check my favorite nutjob marine >found a waifu war in a quest where the only waifus are weapons
>>
>>3793465
Can we sex the vivi?
>>
>>3793466
Sure, but Nojicutie and Vivi are MY waifus, so it's all good.

Flashy's waifu is sugar.

>>3793470
FORBIDDEN
>>
>>3793470
if she isnt already banging Sandyboy something is wrong
>>
>>3793473
>FORBIDDEN
Can we hold hands with Robin?
>>
>>3793470
>Can we sex the vivi?
Sexing her is waste of time.
>>
>>3793466
>waifus are weapons
You're sick my dude, those are our children and they shall not be ogled by the likes of you!

>>3793473
Robin-CHADS>vi-virgins
>>
>in other news, vivi a cute

"Sure, but, uh, say you got this number from a guy called Arthur, rather than a devastatingly handsome Marine."

"Buy I didn't get it from a handsome Marine anyway," Abs muses, because he's a dick.

You express your opinion of him via middle finger, before pulling out Mr Speedy, who looks utterly furious at all the crap he's had to go through today. Poor little guy. You owe him so much lettuce.

With the familiar puru-puru ringing, the den-den on the other end is finally picked up - Nico's personal one, rather than the Merry's.

"Yes?"

>Heeeeeey, it's your favourite totally-a-pirate, Arthur, where's Strawbrat?
>Hello, CRIMINAL SCUM.
>Hi, is your refrigerator running?
>Other?

>>3793474
I'm not saying she's already in a happy three-way relationship with sandy-boi and Nami. But I'm not saying she isn't.

>>3793476
Seasus Crab, don't say such disgusting shit on a blue board. Pervert.
>>
>>3793481
>>Hi, is your refrigerator running?
>>
>>3793481
>>Hi, is your refrigerator running?
>>
>>3793481
>Hi, is your refrigerator running?

If she gives us the cold shoulder pester her with cold puns until she passes us to someone else
>>
File: IcePuns.png (223 KB, 500x279)
223 KB
223 KB PNG
>>3793481
>>Hi, is your refrigerator running?
>>
>Roll 2 (twooooo) d100, best of 3.

First is Abs slapping the back of your head, second is you dodging it.

He gets +50, you get +39.
>>
>>3793481
>Heeeeeey, it's your favourite totally-a-pirate, Arthur, where's Strawbrat?
Really guys?
Cold puns?
On Robin?
Do you just like tormenting her?
>>
Rolled 67, 68 = 135 (2d100)

>>3793490
>>
Rolled 29, 20 = 49 (2d100)

>>3793490
>>
Rolled 67, 75 = 142 (2d100)

>>3793490
>>
Rolled 72, 4 = 76 (2d100)

>>3793490
>>
Rolled 68, 90 = 158 (2d100)

>>3793490
>>
Rolled 31, 14 = 45 (2d100)

>>3793490
>>
>>3793494
dang he beat us by 3
>>
>>3793491
We must hammer the trauma button until she snaps and has a very therapeutic trying-very-hard-to-murder-us session. That usually makes people feel better.
It's not that it slipped our minds at all. That would be silly.
>>
>67 + 50 = 117
>75 + 39 = 114 u lose, loser

"Hi, is your refrigerator runn-?"

And then, sighing heavily, Abs slaps the back of your head, making you yelp. You nearly dodged it! Nearly! Okay, you didn't.

You shoot him an accusative glare while Nico seconds his sigh with one of her own. "Hello, 'Arthur'. Is there a reason you're calling? Or would you like to speak to Mr Swordsman?"

"N-no, I'm good, Wado's good, no problem there," you stammer, "but, uh, I need to speak to Strawbrat. For reasons."

"... What 's wrong with Wado?"

"WADO IS FINE."

She makes a darkly amused 'hmm'. "Of course. I'll just get the Captain for you." A small click, and Mr Speedy starts humming and bopping along to hold music, looking a little happier.

"Honestly, you're worse than Luffy," Fireplace huffs, which is about the worst insult you've ever been given.

"Hey, he got me my memories back," Mr Stealthy scolds, "be nice."

You like Mr Stealthy. He's clearly the best sibling.

"He held a gun to my chest!"

At Mr Stealthy's curious glance, you try to look innocent. "He totally deserved it."

"Yeah, I can believe that," muses Mr Stealthy.

Before Abs can throw a nearby ornament at his brother, another click sounds, the hold music ends, and his other brother from another mother (and father) picks up. "Hey?"

>A'right, I'm out. Good luck, losers. Tell Strawbrat he's also a loser. Looosers.
>Hey, Strawbrat, I have a pair of guys here who begged me for the chance to talk to you. One of them's nice and the other's incredibly ugly and stupid.
>Hey Strawbrat, you still with my cute baby? How is it? Does it miss me?
>Other?

I'm heading to work now, updates either late at night or tomorrow depending on how long my shift runs!
>>
>>3793518
>>Hey, Strawbrat, I have a pair of guys here who begged me for the chance to talk to you. One of them's nice and the other's incredibly ugly and stupid.
>Tell Doctor Cutie I said Hiiii!
>>
>>3793518
>>Hey, Strawbrat, I have a pair of guys here who begged me for the chance to talk to you. One of them's nice and the other's incredibly ugly and stupid.
>>
>>3793518
>Hey, Strawbrat, I have a pair of guys here who begged me for the chance to talk to you. One of them's nice and the other's incredibly ugly and stupid.
>>
>>3793518
>Hey, Strawbrat, I have a pair of guys here who begged me for the chance to talk to you. One of them's nice and the other's incredibly ugly and stupid.
>>
>>3793518
>Hey, Strawbrat, I have a pair of guys here who begged me for the chance to talk to you. One of them's nice and the other's incredibly ugly and stupid.
>>
>>3793518
>Hey, Strawbrat, I have a pair of guys here who begged me for the chance to talk to you. One of them's nice and the other's incredibly ugly and stupid.

>activate observation haki for the inevitable hit ace will throw our way
>>
>>3793518
>>Hey Strawbrat, you still with my cute baby? How is it? Does it miss me?
tfw nobody cares about poor Noodle
>>
>>3793543
We care, but he's obviously not with them since he decided to stay in skypea, guarding the place from filthy CRIMINAL SCUM,
>>
we know they prob not in skypea anymore, asking them about noodle is pointless
>>
>>3793518
>>Hey, Strawbrat, I have a pair of guys here who begged me for the chance to talk to you. One of them's nice and the other's incredibly ugly and stupid.
>>activate observation haki for the inevitable hit ace will throw our way
>Tell Doctor Cutie I said Hiiii!
>>
Man Flashy is just so bullshit at this point.
All 3 types of Haki, the ability to pick up weapons and fighting styles extraordinarily quickly, luck so absurd he can find whatever he wants by vaguely firing in a random direction and following it. Excellent accuracy with a gun or cannonball.
A bag full of dial tricks.
His froot is one the strongest devil fruits in existence.

And all this from an ensign with no combat experience in like
How long?
A few months?

Fucking nightmare eugenics program escapee right here.
>>
>>3793649
Dude, you read the same quest as us right, BPQM never wanted any of this to happen, but through the power of dicegods and her salty tears we have destroyed all of her plans time and again and now we're here not because of genetics, but because of the power of bullshit
>>
>>3793662
No shit Sherlock.
But now, storywise, Flashy is both a D. and has Celestial Dragon blood.
He's just as much a "fuck you" to the Celestial Dragons as Ace is, honestly.

He's nightmare eugenics.
>>
>>3793688
Please! "D.", "Celestial Dragon" such lowly markers for one blessed by the Gods of Luck and Dice, born and delivered by the hands Lady Luck herself, Fortune itself flows through his veins! His DNA is not forged by MEAGER letters, but Nat 100's making spirals so perfect just existing leaves the heavens in permanently pierced state!
>>
>>3793732
For Harry D. Flashman, the D stands for DICE!
>>
>>3793518
>Hey, Strawbrat, I have a pair of guys here who begged me for the chance to talk to you. One of them's nice and the other's incredibly ugly and stupid.

>activate observation haki for the inevitable hit ace will throw our way
>>
>>3793732
Taste my salty QM spider-tears.

>gotta get those digs in

"Hey, Strawbrat, I have a pair of guys here who begged me for the chance to talk to you. One of them's nice and the other's incredibly ugly and stupid."

Abs is fast. "I'm the nice one!"

"You know he meant me!"

"Too late, I called it first."

Crap. Fireplace turned the sacred art of dibs on you?! How can you possibly repent of this blasphemy you've caused?

"Is that Ace?!" Strawbrat's voice is delighted, Mr Speedy's eyes widening and mouth turning into a creepily stretched grin. "Ace! Ace! Are you okay?!"

"Yes!" Fireplace zips forward, den den vanishing from your hand in one smooth movement. "And you won't believe who I've got here!"

>Time for you to give the Brothers Dim some alone time. Wait outside the room.
>Stay and listen like a nosy parker.
>Slap Fireplace around the back of his head because karma.
>Other?
>>
>>3794059
>>Time for you to give the Brothers Dim some alone time. Wait outside the room.
>>
>>3794060
>>Stay and listen like a nosy parker.
>>
>slap abs BUTT, then scurry away to a corner because you made this reunion happen and you want to see it thru, but when they meet face to face then you'll give them the privacy they deserve
>>
>>3794060
>Stay and listen like a nosy parker.
>>
>>3794070
>support

Spank da fire
>>
>>3794060
>>Stay and listen like a nosy parker.
>>
>>3794060
>Stay and listen like a nosy parker.
>>
>abs-olutely disgusted the spanking vote didn't win, shame on you. and also for being nosy i guess

You settle in to your seat, eager to listen on, while Mr Stealthy shoots you an amused 'y r u here u lil shit' glance. You blink at him, slowly, innocently, like the pure angel you are, and he stifles a laugh.

You eaten this eavesdropping, dammit.

A quick check-up on each other- it sounds like th Strawhats have left Skypiea - and finally, Abs blurts out, "Sabo's alive!"

Strawbrat goes silent.

Mr Speedy's face turns from cheerful to confused, then blank, then widening, teary eyes in about two seconds, as Strawbrat promptly loses his shit and nearly deafens you all. "HE'S WHAT?!"

"My cue," Mr Stealthy murmurs, reaching over, tears in his own eyes, and grabs the snail. "Hey, Luffy. Miss me?"

Judging by the shrieking and blubbering that ensues, on both ends, he clearly did. Hell, even Abs is clearly trying to hold back crying, and you're...

>Roll 1d100, worst of 3 to not cry like a hopeless romantic watching a sappy movie
>>
>>3794123
Earned the eavesdropping, not eaten. How long ago did you last eat? Man, you need food.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>3794123
NAT1
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>3794123
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>3794123
>>
>>3794127
I LOVE YOU
>>
>>3794127
Perfection
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>3794123
we're what?
>>
>>3794127
DAMN SON
>>
>>3794127
The secret is to truly believe
>>
>>3794127
The only time I'm happy we rolled a 1. I hope Flashy is an ugly crier.
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

Neat
>>
>>3794134
Huh?

>N A T 1

As Strawbrat and Sab- Mr Stealthy tear up and blubber, babbling away with promises to meet up, the latter promising to explain everything when they see each other, your lips wibble. Then wobble.

Your chin judders.

Your eyes grow damp and burning.

It's- it's just- just - so beautiful~!! This is how brothers should be! What siblings must be like! You want a bond like this, dammit! You're just - s-so happy for them~!!

Abs leans in towards you, eyes gleaming with wicked glee, as the talk continues, and coos, "Are you cryyying~?"

"N-no!" Your denial is fast (and furious) as strange trails of water make their way down your overheated cheeks. "I n-never c-cry~! Idiot!"

The leering grin widens further still, and Fireplace's arm latches around you, tugging you close even as you struggle to stop cryi- to break free. "Don't worry," he simpers, "I definitely won't tell everyone you're hopelessly overemotional and cry like a ten year old girl. Hoooonest."

... You don't think he's being honest.

>Screw it. Turn the full power of your tears on him and try to force him into pity rather than sadism.
>Give up all pretences and just blub about how lovely it is. Make sure to soak his shirt.
>Try to cover your face. If he can't see you cry, you're not crying. Logic!
>Other?
>>
>>3794159
>Give up all pretences and just blub about how lovely it is. Make sure to soak his shirt.
>>
File: 1537381098151.png (345 KB, 526x533)
345 KB
345 KB PNG
>>3794159
>>Try to cover your face. If he can't see you cry, you're not crying. Logic!
>>
>>3794159
>Other?
>You know what I change my mind Mr Stealthy will get cupcakes not you, you jerk
>>
>>3794159
>Give up all pretences and just blub about how lovely it is. Make sure to soak his shirt.
>snort your nose as revenge on his shirt
>>
>>3794168
Suppport
>>
>>3794168
>Give up all pretences and just blub about how lovely it is. Make sure to soak his shirt.
Actually this.
>>
Family reuniting is such a wonderful thing, ain't that right Flashm-

Oh... Right

>>3794159
>Give up all pretences and just blub about how lovely it is. Make sure to soak his shirt.
>>
Writing for blubbing and shirt-soaking.

Also

>Roll 1d100 best of 3 to see if Doctor Oniichwan senses his dumbass little brother getting bullied by a big, mean fire guy
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>3794186
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>3794186
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>3794186
Can I?
>>
>>3794192
Yes, you may.
>>
>these tears are formed of envy and salt

You break down. "I-it's j-just s-s-so nice!" And then, with a stifled wail, you throw yourself further into Abs' suddenly confused grip, weeping as only a closet romantic can, tears (and probably snot) flinging themself forth into his shirt as you bury your face against it. "Iz zo s-sweet!" You choke out between muffled sobs, Fireplace alternately tensing up and trying to pat your back in sheer bewilderment at the sudden change. "S-siblings 're z-zo good!"

"Th-there, there?" Pat, pat, pat.

You cling tighter, trying to silence your happy, envious sobs into his (impressive) chest so as not to interrupt Mr Stealthy's call.

>Try to restrain your tears. Clinging to a Shichibukai like a limpet is only done when drunk!
>Drown yourself in angst. How come pirates get loving families?! You've always (mostly) done your best to be good, and no-one wants YOU.
>Un-bury your face, stare up at Fireplace with teary eyes, and inform him he's lucky to have them.
>Other?

>>3794192
>85

Deep in the bowels of the Subpirate, Trafalgar Law feels a strange, sudden urge to murder a different Shichibukai than his usual target.

Weird.
>>
>>3794218
>>Try to restrain your tears. Clinging to a Shichibukai like a limpet is only done when drunk!
>>
>>3794218
>>Try to restrain your tears. Clinging to a Shichibukai like a limpet is only done when drunk!
>>
>>3794218
>Drown yourself in angst. How come pirates get loving families?! You've always (mostly) done your best to be good, and no-one wants YOU.
Super awkward bonding moment go!
>>
By the way, Abs has basically mentally slotted you in as 'member of my division, must look out for'. Against his better judgement.
>>
>>3794218
>Try to restrain your tears. Clinging to a Shichibukai like a limpet is only done when drunk!

>SPANK HIS BUTT TO EASE THE AWKWARD MOMENT!!!
>SPANK IT GOOD
>>
>>3794218
>>Drown yourself in angst. How come pirates get loving families?! You've always (mostly) done your best to be good, and no-one wants YOU.
>>
>>3794218
>Deep in the bowels of the Subpirate, Trafalgar Law feels a strange, sudden urge to murder a different Shichibukai than his usual target.
Hah. His heart knows what's right despite his mind being hopelessly incorrect about Flashy.

>Try to restrain your tears. Clinging to a Shichibukai like a limpet is only done when drunk!
We're too manly to let him know our deepest feelings. And by manly I mean sober.

>>3794228
>'member of my division, must look out for'.
But will he tell Pops to forgive Harry?
>>
>>3794237
>But will he tell Pops to forgive Harry?
You know how you wandered over with Sabo slung over your shoulder and said, "This is mine."?
Imagine that, but with you slung over Abs' shoulder while he informs his pops that this Marine is his cabin boy now.

Also somewhat disappointed the third option didn't win, because that would have caused Abs to have a giant and plot-changing epiphany. Also glad it didn't win, for the same reason.
>>
>>3794250
>implying Ace could beat Flashy after his pitiful showings before
I don't know. Maybe if he crawled up to Whitebeard with one hand on Harry's pantleg pulling him along awkwardly. Are we sure Ace's abs aren't just for show? It seems like the only time he doesn't job super hard is when he's wrasslin'.

>plot-changing epiphany
He'd learn that the letter "D" means "Da-family"?
>>
>>3794250
It's not OUR moment, this is their beautiful little thing and we won't soil it by man it about ourselves like some 16 year old drama queen
>>
>>3794250
I would go for 3 option but I like my Flashy like my hopes for future. Insecure
>>
>>3794228
I really want to see this story through Abs' eyes. He went from wanting us dead to being protective with only an endless amount of bullshit to help him make the change.
>>
>>3794279
>asking for another interlude
Welp.
>>
>>3794284
A Robin interlude would be fun.
>>
>>3794250
>>3794293
A ZORO interlude would be really fun, any idea when something like that might come along

HMMMMMMMMMMM!?!?!??!?!
>>
>>3794293
Honestly most characters would be great for an interlude just from the absolute shitshow that Flashy brings with him everywhere he goes. Except Luffy.

>Hey he's kinda strong.
>But he's a marine.
>Cannonballs...
>Hungry.
>>
>hush little marine

Wait. Crap. You're way too sober for this. Swallowing your next sob, you scrunch your eyes tight, fighting back the tears.

You can do this.

You can do this.

You don't know whether Fireplace rubbing sympathetic circles on your back is helping or making it worse, but you can definitely do thiYOU WANNA CRY SO BAD

no

No, Flashy!

Biting your lip, you mange to decrease your tears to an occasional hiccup, blearily pulling your face back from Abs' soaked shirt.

"... You okay?" Abs peers down, visibly concerned and maybe a little awkward. Mr Stealthy... apparently he's not even noticed, by the way he's happily chittering away on the den den.

>... I'm good. Sorry.
>....... That didn't happen. I don't know what you're talking about.
>............ I can't believe my allergies sprung up so bad. Wow, gotta pop an antihistamine or something.
>Other?

>>3794259#
Those abs aren't just for show. They're also for licking.

>>3794279#
He can't help but be protective of small, helpless idiots. Plus he's been cut off from most of his regular support and relationships, so he's a little fast on latching on to you (especially when you've got him his other brother back).
>>
>>3794303
>>............ I can't believe my allergies sprung up so bad. Wow, gotta pop an antihistamine or something.
>>
>>3794297
>....... That didn't happen. I don't know what you're talking about
>...you're really lucky to have them, you know that right?

>small
"ANGRY FLASHMAN-let NOISES"
>>
>>3794303
>............ I can't believe my allergies sprung up so bad. Wow, gotta pop an antihistamine or something.
Bad lying is a go
>>
>>3794303
>............ I can't believe my allergies sprung up so bad. Wow, gotta pop an antihistamine or something.
>>
>>3794296
Who's Zoro?

>>3794301
Maybe I should start awarding re-roll bonuses for fanart and writing. Then you guys can write the interludes, and I can sit back and relax in my web with my juicy flies.
>>
>>3794303
>>3794307
This is still me,doubleposting just so that our vote don't count ,FOR SHAME SPIDER,FORSHAME
>>
>>3794303
>>............ I can't believe my allergies sprung up so bad. Wow, gotta pop an antihistamine or something.
It must be from the uh, abundant coral in the surrounding seas. And sawdust from the shipwrights. And the cotton Ace's coat is made of.
>>
>>3794303
>... I'm good. Sorry.
>>
>>3794314
Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how incredibly short Flashy is.

so smol

so very smol
>>
>>3794312
>Maybe I should start awarding re-roll bonuses for fanart and writing.
Well I've got this GREAT lewdy-romance written up involving Tashigi and Robin. Why would I have such a thing on hand? Pft.

I doubt any of us could write something as wondrous as you could. And personally if I started writing I'd have to call you senpai in deferment to your seniority in the writing sphere. No way.
>>
>>3794312
>who's Zoro?
Mirror universe Zolo who doesn't get blown the fuck out by an ensign
>>
>>3794321
Sounds fake, but okay.

>>3794319
Nice sucking up, but the Tashigi interlewd is in October, and no earlier.

Also, writing update. Curse your allergies.
>>
>>3794327
>Nice sucking up
Thanks, I try.
>>
>>3794312
>Maybe I should start awarding re-roll bonuses for fanart and writing. Then you guys can write the interludes, and I can sit back and relax in my web with my juicy flies.

Maybe you should start collecting nat ONES we roll and turn them into something awful!
>>
>>3794342
>[gland-chan intensifies]
>>
>>3794342
Maybe you should SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLE
>>
>oh no my allergy to posting updates is playing up, guess i'll die

"... I can't believe my allergies sprung up so bad. Wow, gotta pop an antihistamine or something." You furiously wipe your eyes, while Abs arches an eyebrow, expression bland as his hand carefully lifts from your back.

"Allergies, huh? To what?"

"......" TO HAPPY REUNIONS, you think, as your eyes burn again. "T-to... your shirt!"

GENIUS.

"So you thought sticking your face in it would help, huh?"

"I- I'm building up my immune system! Jerk!"

"That's not how allergies work..." Abs mutters, pulling some tissues from a nearby box - the joys of being in a doctor's clinic. "Here, wipe your face."

You scowl. "I don't need to!"

Fireplace glares back, still Holding out the tissues. "Do it or I'll wipe for you."

You shut up and clean your face. Double-jerk.

"- meet up in Water 7 soon, okay?" Mr Stealthy seems to be winding down his conversation, happy beam on his face as he gives his love and then ends the call. "I'll talk to Nico Robin in person, over the den den is just-" He pauses as he turns, catching sight of you and Fireplace, the latter sort of... half hugging you? You drying your red-eyed face of tears. The both of you freezing up as you're caught having e m o t i o n s.

"... Did I miss something?"

>........ Fireplace tries to beat me up.
>........ Fireplace was helping me with my allergies.
>........ Fireplace was crying so I comforted him.
>(Reach around and slap Fireplace's butt to deflect attention from your tears. You're welcome.)
>Other?

>>3794347
__(•w•)/1 1 1 1 1
>>
>>3794312
>Maybe I should start awarding re-roll bonuses for fanart and writing.

Draw-Anon: "You cannot offer me this Ring!"

QM: "I'm giving it to you!"

Draw-Anon: "Don't tempt me Frodo! I dare not take it. Not even to keep it safe. Understand QM, I would use this Ring from a desire to do good. But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine."
>>
>>3794360
>........ Fireplace was helping me with my allergies.
>>
>>3794360
>........ Fireplace was crying so I comforted him.
>(Reach around and slap Fireplace's butt to deflect attention from your tears. You're welcome.)

TOUCH DAT BUTT!
>>
>>3794360
>>........ Fireplace was helping me with my allergies.
He's got the ab- anti-bodies that make a lad grow up strong and tall.
>>
>>3794360
>>........ Fireplace was helping me with my allergies.
>>
>>3794360
>........ Fireplace was helping me with my allergies.
MUST RESIST SLAPPING THE BUTT
>>
File: 1497307529825.jpg (80 KB, 766x960)
80 KB
80 KB JPG
I just want you all to know how incredibly disappointed I am in you people, it's right there, but you won't take the risk
>>
>>3794360
>>........ Fireplace was crying so I comforted him.
>>
>>3794376
I'm afraid his ass is more muscular than Flashy's arms are. I can't handle that kind of shame.
>>
>>3794360
>(Reach around and slap Fireplace's butt to deflect attention from your tears. You're welcome.)
>>
>>3794360
>>........ Fireplace was helping me with my allergies.
>>
>>3794360
>........ Fireplace was helping me with my allergies.
>>
>>3794360
>........ Fireplace was crying so I comforted him.
>>
>>3794376
It's just not butt slapping moment my dude
>>
>>3794361
8888D

TAKE THE RING. TAKE IT. Give me the precious art! Gives it to us!

>>3794376
I, too, am ashamed of the entire playerbase but you. Or BUTT you. Eheheheheheh

>if i exist for too long, I WILL DIE

"... Fireplace was helping me with my allergies," you inform him seriously.

Mr Stealthy eyes you. "What allergies?"

THINK FAST. "I'm allergic to stupid questions! They make me die! Do you wanna kill me?!"

"Surprisingly, no." He grins again, stepping over to throw himself down on the bed once more, and passing Mr Speedy over to you. "Luffy and his crew are gonna be here in two days!" Then he frowns. "The Aqua Laguna won't be too long after that. And I really shouldn't be here that long, but..." He shrugs. "Plans change."

Awwww shiiiiiiit. They're coming here. That's... not great.

>So why are you in Water 7, anyway?
>... I really need to get Wado back.
>How DID you get amnesia?
>Plans like spying on ships in the dock?
>Other?
>>
>>3794400
>>How DID you get amnesia?
>>
>>3794400
>>... I really need to get Wado back.
>>
>>3794400
>>... I really need to get Wado back.
>>
>>3794400
>How DID you get amnesia?
>>
>>3794400
>... I really need to get Wado back.
>How DID you get amnesia?

Don't pry until you get that BIG JUICY backstory
>>
>>3794400
>>How DID you get amnesia?
>>
>>3794400
>... I really need to get Wad...
>Plans like spying on ships in the dock?
>>
>>3794400
>... I really need to get Wado back.
>>
>>3794400
>... I really need to get Wado back.
CP9 TREASON SPEEDRUN, WADO%
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>swoooooord

"... I really need to get Wado back," you mumble, running a hand through your hair. Then you look up at Mr Stealthy, curious. "How DID you get amnesia, anyway?"

His face drops to a scowl, Abs tensing up beside you. "I got attacked as a child." He lifts one hand to tap gently at the scar that covers a portion of his face. A burn scar, whatever caused it must have been... highly painful.

"Ah... Sorry." Maybe you shouldn't have pried.

>Did they get caught?
>(thumbs up) Scars are sexy, just saying!
>I have a problem with being a nosy asshole. It's kind of an ongoing malady.
>Other?

Rollin' to get your own butt slapped on this fine day for butt-slappin'.
>>
>>3794433
>(thumbs up) Scars are sexy, just saying!
>>
>>3794433
>>Did they get caught?
>>Sorry!
>>I have a problem with being a nosy asshole. It's kind of an ongoing malady.
>>
>>3794435
>support

Now is not the time to comment on him being sexier than abs
>>
>>3794433
>>Did they get caught?
>>(thumbs up) Scars are sexy, just saying!
At least he has a kinda cool scar instead of a horribly disfiguring one. That would suck. Wouldn't it, Ace?
>ass status: slapped
Hope our squat game is on point.
>>
>>3794433
>>3794435
+1
>>
>>3794433
>>Did they get caught?
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>3794437
That's right, better not make Abs jealous.

>>3794439
Rolling for how muscular your ass is.

Alllllll right, it's gone 1am, updates will continue tomorrow. At some point. Thanks for playing and good night! I was serious about potentially rewarding fan-stuff, by the way. I want to read an Abs interlude without having to write it, dam it.

Night, all!
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>3794446
>Rolling for how muscular your ass is.
Wow. How mediocre. I'm sure we can do better.

Have a good one.
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>3794446
>>3794449
yall suck, this is how you do it
>>
>>3794452
Don't insult my monumentally bad luck. It's a very endearing trait. That's what my mommy told me.
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>3794446
Best of three
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

Hah
No
Flashmans butt deserves best of 7
>>
>>3794491
Apologies, but Flashy apparently has a slightly above average ass, and not a hunk of firm man-meat.

Maybe work out some more. Or eat more sugar, that apparently does wonders for his potential.
>>
>flashman's an expert intel gatherer

Still, you can't help but wonder... "Did they get caught? --- Sorry! I have a problem with being a nosy asshole. It's kind of an ongoing malady."

Mr Stealthy chuckles, maybe a little darkly, as he settles himself more comfortably. "No. Not yet." Then he brightens in an instant, darkness vanishing as his gaze focuses on you. "So! Ace is a Shichibukai - and the official explanation for THAT stinks, by the way - and you're a Marine officer. How'd you and my not-little bro meet?"

As one, yours and Abs' eyes meet.

>Uh. I don't remember.
>Weeeell, remember the thing about the gun to his chest? That was sort of our first proper meeting.
>He broke onto my ship and tried to BRUTALLY MURDER ME.
>There I was, innocently saving a kitten from a tree, when this fire-spewing maniac came out of nowhere...
>Other?
>>
>>3795160
>Weeeell, remember the thing about the gun to his chest? That was sort of our first proper meeting.
Honesty is the best policy
>>
>>3795160
>uhhhhhh...
(very long "uh", this is important)
>weeeell, remember the thing about the gun to his chest? That was a very direct consequence of our first meeting.
>>
>>3795179
>support
>>
>>3795179
Support
>>
>>3795179
Support
>>
>but he was in a marine uniform at the time so it's basically like shooting a marine, so a revolutionary should be cool with that, right?

oh shit

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh," you say, feeling suddenly, intensely awkward. "Weeeell, remember the thing about the gun to his chest? That was a very direct consequence of our first meeting."

Mr Stealthy sloooowly raises an eyebrow. You wish you could do that. "Oh?"

"Yeah, oh?" Abs, you were there, you asshole.

Screw it. "Okay, look. I'd captured Strawbrat's first mate, and Hothead here decided to infiltrate our ship while disguised as a Marine. Which I saw through immediately, because my perception is just, y'know, the best. Anyway, long story short, I handcuffed him with seastone, held a gun on him, and arrested him. Happy?"

Throughout the explanation, Mr Stealthy's expression hasn't changed, but for the occasional blink. At the end, he finally speaks. "... And now you two dumbasses travel around together and rough-house in the street?"

>Merely a temporary arrangement! Except for the rough-housing, which I was totally winning.
>I can't help it, he follows me around like a sad, needy puppy.
>That's Garp's fault. And maybe Mibird's. And alcohol's.
>Other?
>>
>>3795200
>That's Garp's fault. And maybe Mibird's. And alcohol's.
>>
>>3795200
>Other

>well uhh, at first I think he definitely wanted my head mounted at his wall, but then he got injured, and I was chosen to transport him to a secret pirate doctor for reasons, then SOMETHING happened to our ship and it blew up, then we got captured by big meme pirates, then ABS here blew up their ship after we defeated them, then there was some lost at sea bonding, some recovery bonding, I baked him a cupcake, and then I found (you)

And that's the story
>>
>>3795208
>big meme pirates
I love it.
>>
>>3795200
>>3795208
>support
If qm likes it,plus I’m too tired to make my Own stuff up
>>
>>3795211
I meant I liked 'big meme pirates', go get some sleep.
>>
>>3795200
>>That's Garp's fault. And maybe Mibird's. And alcohol's.
>>
>>3795208
Support
>>
>>3795208
+1
>>
>>3795277
Unsupporting this guy
>>
>>3795200
>>That's Garp's fault. And maybe Mibird's. And alcohol's.
>>
>an exciting summary for new readers

"Well, uhh, at first I think he definitely wanted my head mounted on his wall, but then he got injured, and I was chosen to transport him to a secret pirate doctor for reasons, then SOMETHING happened to our ship and it blew up, then we got captured by Big Mom pirates, then Abs here blew up their ship after we defeated them, then there was some lost-at-sea bonding, some recovery bonding, I baked him a cupcake, and then I found you."

"And you got kidnapped by Mihawk," Abs adds, helpfully.

"Yeah, and got kidnapped by Mibird," you agree.

"......." says Mr Stealthy, before leaning forwards. "Uh. Yeah, I'm gonna need a more thorough explanation of that, but just to make sure - you're here with Mihawk? And how long are you here for?"

"Yeah, and... a few more hours? Just stopping by before Ennies Lobby." You notice Abs wince slightly at that, while Mr Stealthy's eyes flicker slightly. Weird.

"Ennies Lobby, huh?"

>Yeah, gonna check out Wado's new wielder. Maybe beat 'em up.
>Just escorting Mibird. Gotta look up some legal stuff while I'm there, rip off Goverment funding.
>Yeah, I should really be back with my C.O., but whatever. Soon!
>Other?
>>
>>3795447
>Just escorting Mibird. Gotta look up some legal stuff while I'm there, rip off Goverment funding.

Do not admit fault for the wado situation, we can fix this...maybe
>>
>>3795447
>>Just escorting Mibird. Gotta look up some legal stuff while I'm there, rip off Goverment funding, recover a priceless sword so I can beat my rival up with it, meet my C.O. after i got lost in the sky and killed a god, you know standard stuff .
>>
>>3795447
>>Just escorting Mibird. Gotta look up some legal stuff while I'm there, rip off Goverment funding.
>>
>>3795454
Ace already knows about Wado i think
>>
>>3795447
>>Yeah, gonna check out Wado's new wielder. Maybe beat 'em up.
>>Just escorting Mibird. Gotta look up some legal stuff while I'm there, rip off Goverment funding.

I feel like this sums up our plans there.
>>
>>3795456
Kek, support
>>
>>3795456
Support
>>
>>3795456
+1
Yeah exposition and recaps of most key plots its important for the sake of audience.
>>
Rolled 79, 6 = 85 (2d100)

Rolling for ~stuff~, updates probably midnightish Britbong.
>>
Rolled 83, 12, 63 = 158 (3d100)

>>3795529
Oh, yeah, one more.
>>
>>3795569
Whoever that second roll is seems to be having a bad day.
>>
>>3795456
Support. I like it.
>>
>>3795456
support
being an amerifat sucks for this quest, glad classes ended early so I could catch the tail end of it.
>>
I lied, just getting out of work now, updates tomorrow, sorry.
>>
>operating on about 3 hours of sleep, I UPDATE

"Just escorting Mibird," you answer, crossing your arms. "Gotta look up some legal stuff while I'm there, rip off Goverment funding, recover a priceless sword so I can beat my rival up with it, meet my C.O. after I got lost in the sky and killed a god, you know, standard stuff."

"Killed a what now?" Abs looks reluctantly intrigued.

"Crazy Lightning Logia asshole, took over a Sky Island. This was when I was kidnapped by your brother," you add.

"Aah, so that's where you got the Devil Fruit."

CURSES. "N-no, I just have a Static Paramecia," you quickly tell the guy who already saw you turn into a mass of lightning during the Big Mom pirate bullcrap.

Mr Stealthy looks over at Fireplace. "A Lightning Logia, huh? Gotta be useful."

"He's a total amateur with it," corrects Fireasshole. You kick his ankle like the mature, rational adult you are.

"I've had it about a week!"

"Nearly two, really." He smirks, which is stupid, because who the hell masters something in two weeks?! You've not even mastered swords yet, and it's been a whole seven months or so since then!

Mr Stealthy flashes a toothy grin. "You're going to Ennies Lobby, too, Ace?"

Abs pauses, obviously uncertain. "I was going too, but if you and Luffy are meeting up here..."

>As a Marine, I can't support you meeting a wanted pirate, but if you happen to stay in Water 7 for a while, it's no big deal.
>It might be best if you meet him some other, less public time. As a new Shichibukai you've got lot of eyes on you.
>Other?
>>
>>3796920
>As a Marine, I can't support you meeting a wanted pirate, but if you happen to stay in Water 7 for a while, it's no big deal.

>Revolutionary Army know we have lightning logia
Ace you fuck.
>>
>>3796920
> It might be best if you meet him some other, less public time. As a new Shichibukai you've got lot of eyes on you

> And meeting pirates affiliated with Revolutionary Army would be a vary bad press
>>
>>3796920
> It might be best if you meet him some other, less public time. As a new Shichibukai you've got lot of eyes on you

> And meeting pirates affiliated with Revolutionary Army would be a vary bad press
>>
>>3796920
>As a Marine, I can't support you meeting a wanted pirate, but if you happen to stay in Water 7 for a while, it's no big deal.
>>
>>3796920
>>It might be best if you meet him some other, less public time. As a new Shichibukai you've got lot of eyes on you.
>>
>supa-sekrit meeting

"It might be best if you meet him some other, less public time. As a new Shichibukai you've got lot of eyes on you," you point out, having already taken him to one secret probably-illegal meeting with a pirate doctor.

Abs scowls, but Mr Stealthy butts in. "He's got a point. Like I said, the story behind your recruitment doesn't really bear up if people dig far enough, and we've already had a brawl in the street. It's not like people don't know you're here."

"But it's-"

"I mean, if you want to put more attention on Luffy..."

Fireplace shuts.his mouth with a click, and slumps. "... Yeah, fine. I'll meet him some other time."

"You know, I still don't know WHY you left Whitebeard, anyway."

You quickly look away as Abs' head swivels in your direction.

>He suddenly heard the call of Justice. Veeeery suddenly.
>... He's my stalker. He signed up to get close to me, and now I can't get rid of him. I'm scared. Help.
>(Keep your mouth shut and let Abs answer.)
>Other?

Working now, updates muuuuch later tonight.
>>
>>3797012
>His grandpa told him to... FUCK!
>>
>>3797012
>>He suddenly heard the call of Justice. Veeeery suddenly.
Justice was wearing floppy dog ears and carrying a cannonball at the time.
>>
>>3797012
>>... He's my stalker. He signed up to get close to me, and now I can't get rid of him. I'm scared. Help.
>>
>>3797012
>He suddenly heard the call of Justice. Veeeery suddenly.
>>
>>3797012
>(Keep your mouth shut and let Abs answer.)

This is a very sensitive subject to abs, we should just butt out of it and correct anything he says incorrectly
>>
>>3797012
>keep your mouth shut And let abs answer
>>
>>3797012
>>(Keep your mouth shut and let Abs answer.)
>>
>>3797012
>(Keep your mouth shut and let Abs answer.)
>>
>>3797012
>(Keep your mouth shut and let Abs answer.)
>>
>>3797041
Support
>>
>>3797024
support
not the time to be a smartass, thats about 30 seconds from now
>>
>watch and be amazed as flashy actually keeps his mouth shut

You keep quiet, finding everything else in the clinic room incredibly fascinating. The threadcount on these sheets is amazingly high for such a small place.

"After this dumbass captured me," you hear Abs dryly answer, "I heard that Luffy was fighting Crocodile, and it... wasn't going well. I'd already bad one offer to be a Shichibukai a while back, and gr- Garp was nearby, so... it seemed like a workable way to get out fast."

You hear Mr Stealthy give an amused huff. "Typical. But are you...?"

He trails off at whatever expression Abs gives him, likely because you're in the room. This is a ~brothers only~ conversation, apparently.

>Gosh, I just remembered that thing I have to do in that other place!
>I'lllll just wait outside for a few minutes...
>(LOUD COUGH) So how about that sports team, huh?
>Other?

I lied, it's my break. Maaaaybe another update, otherwise very late tonight.
>>
>>3797147
>So I just bought this reaaaally interesting book and I'm gonna go to that cafe across the street to get a scone and do some light reading. Just felt like it, no other reason... none
>>
>>3797150
>support

Order them something while you're there
>>
>>3797156
>>3797150
Support
>>
>>3797150
+1
>>
>>3797156
Supportin buying abs a fireball frapecino
>>
>>3797150
>>3797156
SUPPORT
>>
>>3797150
Bonus points if we somehow say this in Admiral Lightbulb's drawl.
>>
>goodbye 4EVA

Okaaaaaay, time to make yourself scarce. You push yourself up, grabbing your book-bag and clothes bag, ever so casual. Really. Honest. "So I just bought this reaaaally interesting book and I'm gonna go to that cafe across the street to get a scone and do some light reading. Just felt like it, no other reason... none," you inform them quickly.

"I believe you," Mr Stealthy earnestly tells you, looking at you with the most trustworthy eyes you've ever seen. It's mildly disturbing.

"I don't," chirps Abs, who remains a dick. And then, because he's a ultimate turbo-dick, as you pass him, he swings an arm and -

DID HE JUST SLAP YOUR ASS

Judging from the sudden stinging, and the muffled yelp of shocked laughter from his brother, yes.

"Enjoy the book, Trashcan," Fireplace smiles.

>Punch him before you leave.
>Pretend nothing happened, go into denial, and leave with your head (and ass) held high.
>Elcectrocute him.
>Other?

That's right, ass-smacking time appeared. Dont blame me, i merely obey the rolls. Your butt is still average, though. Alas.
>>
>>3797676
>>Pretend nothing happened, go into denial, and leave with your head (and ass) held high.
>>
>>3797676
>Throw a cannonball at him
>>
>>3797676
>Pretend nothing happened, go into denial, and leave with your head (and ass) held high.
>>
>>3797676
>Other?

Run away crying that now you'll never be a bride and that you'll report him to navy HR
>>
>>3797676
>>Punch him before you leave.
Can't just ignore it, but bringing fruit into it is an escalation.
>>
>>3797686
>>3797676
Actually wait no.
>Take out a cannonball, palm it like a dodge ball and give him the evil eye, then walk away.
>>
>>3797676
>>3797694
Support.
>>
>>3797691 forget about this one

Supporting this >>3797694
Instead

>>3797676
>>
>>3797694
support
>>
>>3797676
>>Throw a cannonball at him
>>
>>3797711
>>3797694
Yeah supporting this.
>>
>>3797694
Supporting.
>>
>>3797694
This
>>
>sabo: confused but amused

...

Bitch.

You pause in your walking, ignoring the stinging of your ass, turning slightly to fix Abs with a death stare as one hand drifts down to where certain shells are tied around your waist.

Then you withdraw a cannonball, regaining its form from a bolt of lightning in a moment, and oh-so-casually heft it, as if judging its weight.

... Abs flinches. Eyes widen, the grin freezing on his face, as Mr Stealthy's muffled cackles only increase.

Then you turn slowly back to the door and walk out, still holding the cannonball, Mr Stealthy's volume increasing despite Abs' continuing silence.

Once out of sight, you store the cannonball again, huffing in indignation at the ache on your butt, as you head outside. The street is fairly quiet now, and you step across to the cafe without any attention being paid to you. There's food to eat, drinks to... drink, and a book to read!

>(What to order?)
>(Which book to read?)
>Other?
>>
>>3797776
>a basic bitch pumpkin spice latte for abs
>a based mocha mint frappuccino for hats
>and a good old strawberry milkshake for you, with some cookies

>read more electric boogaloo
>>
>>3797776
>>(What to order?)
Whatever the sweetest, most sickeningly sugary abomination on the menu happens to be. Then add sugar, honey and possibly treacle.
>>(Which book to read?)
Another exciting chapter of Electricity For Imbeciles.
>>
>>3797780
This for their drinks and our reading for our order though we should get
>Coffee with a fuck you amount of sugar and a little bit of cream.
>>
Rolled 79, 90, 66 = 235 (3d100)

Oh, and rolling to see if Dr Oniichwan detected the depraved sexual assault upon your innocent and delicate buttocks, via his burgeoning oniisan powers.
>>
>>3797776
>>3797783
+1
We need the sweetest shit they have to get through this book.
>>
>>3797780
Support
>>
>>3797780
this
>>
Going to update tomorrow, need sleeeeeeep, thanks for playing!

Vote for drink/s or any food continues, but please

>Roll 1d100, best of 3 for reeeeeading
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>3797811
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>3797811
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3797811
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>3797811
Worry.
>>
>>3797812
>>3797813
>>3797815
>>3797817
Dice are mean.
>>
>>3797817
>>3797815
>>3797813
>>3797812
*PAIN*
>>
>>3797788
Are we sure Law doesn't have an actual brother sensing Haki that we awakened?

>>3797812
>>3797813
>>3797815
Apparently books are one of Flashy's few weaknesses.
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

Rolling for knowledge gained if we eat the book
>>
>>3798071
You got it all wrong. We have to fight the book.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>3798074
Let's see if that theory holds up
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>3798134
>tfw the book is actually a yonko
Rolling for the bounty on the book.
>>
>>3797811
i propose that flashy is instinctually disgusted by stuff like splenda and other *diet* sweeteners. WHAT IS THE POINT OF SUGAR IF YOU DONT FEEL THAT RUSH THAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN OUTRUN THE WORLD?!
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>3798213
Rolling for cafe using fake sweeteners instead of real sugar.
>>
File: Thanos.jpg (63 KB, 750x562)
63 KB
63 KB JPG
>>3798233
Oh boy, my first Thanos roll!
>>
>>3798213
>flashy walks into a "healthy" cafe
>smells the lack of real sugar
>>
>>3798019
Book smarts is something Flashy is supposed to excel at.
>>
>>3798294
Nah that's filing paperwork. Flashy was a fax machine in a previous life. Because clearly he can't reed gud.
>>
Rolled 74, 29 = 103 (2d100)

>>3797812
>>3797813
>>3797815
>>3797817
Ehehehehehehehehe

>>3798019
I was actually giving a +5 to it as well from your previous oniichwan-bond success, so now it's at +8 or so. Poor Lawless is getting weirdly twitchy and wanting to stab Fireplace for no apparent reason.

First real is for Flashy to have to electrocute the book, second is for Flashy to have ADHD or something that DOESN'T LET HIM CONCENTRATE ON DAMN BOOKS
>>
>>3798687
What modifier does Abs get when someone touches the Luffmeister?
>>
Rolled 53, 93, 93 = 239 (3d100)

>>3798707
+infinity. The power of the oniisan is a real and tangible thing in One Piece land. Behold its awesome strength.

That reminds me, background roll for our favourite sack of darkness shit, Fatbeard!
>>
>>3798715
Oh no, double 93s! Fatboy gets a bonus, if he doesn't eat it first.
>>
>>3798715
oh no
>>
>>3798715
Holy hell did he replace all of his fat with muscle? That's one stronk lad.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

1 s
2 j
3 sa
4 bh
5 x
6 b
7 cb
8 sm
9 d
10 f
>>
Rolled 32, 29, 62, 24 = 147 (4d100)

>>3798821
Yikes~
+80, +120
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>3798823
142 vs 144, good thing Fatbeard was already injured...

Different matter, last roll. Unless it's a 20.
>>
>40 + 17 sugar bonus. U suk lol

Settling down in a cosy armchair with your cookies and strawberry milkshake, you pull out the book you were reading before - good ol' electricity for dipshits.

It proceeds to kick your ass. Brain. Whatever.

Maybe you didn't properly understand the previous chapters, or maybe it's a leap in difficulty, and the author just failed to understand this stuff is HARD. Or maybe you're just distracted by cookies.

(GGnM increased to C.2!)

Whatever the reason, you manage to force your way through two chapters with a complete lack of interest, before you decide it's just not working out right now. Maybe your head's too full of Mr Stealthy and whether he's actually a pirate.

You... don't really want to ask. Abs is a Shichibukai, so he's fine, but despite your recent - discoveries of certain distasteful practices, you're reasonably certain that arresting or killing pirates is primarily a good thing. Sure, there's the Strawhats, they're just a bunch of adventurous dumbasses who keep getting into trouble, and you can't imagine Usopp's crew is bad, either... Lawless' crew SEEMED okay, but...

Ugh. Why is life so complicated? Maybe you should stop thinking about Fleet Admiral and go become a baker or patissier, or something. Mmm, cakes.

You check your watch (and give Mr Speedy some cucumber, courtesy of the cafe owner). Thirty minutes- that should be enough time, right?

>Wait a little longer and do something (What?)
>Head back.
>Other?

Maybe update on my break, but probably none tonight unless I somehow get off shift early. Which I doubt.
>>
>>3798833
>>Head back.
>>
>>3798833
>Head back.
>>
>>3798833
>Head back.
>>
>>3798833
>>Head back.
>>
Can't update right now, but to save time today/tomorrow, any particular questions/conversation topics for Sabo or Abs?
>>
>>3799094
What are they gonna tell Garp? if anything
>>
>>3799137
Ah
>>
File: Spoiler Image (60 KB, 209x292)
60 KB
60 KB JPG
He did literally nothing wrong.
>>
>>3799478
He punched a hole in the most spectacular set of abs in the world!

Oh and he killed some guy or something
>>
>>3799094
Is a pipe really the most effective clubbing implement he could use or does he just like the sound it makes when it hits things?
>>
>>3799094
How worried do I need to be about Whitebeard gunning for me if he finds out what happened?
>>
how is abs hair compared to stealthy?
>>
>>3799624
Shitty. Stealthy's hair is constantly flexing so it can hold his top hat on in high speed maneuvres.
I bet Firefist's hair doesn't even work out at all.
>>
>>3799634
>sabo's hair: keeps the tophat secure, fluffy, well protected from the elements
>ace's hair: doesn't even wear his hat, always exposed to extreme heat, floppy
>>
Roll 1d100, best of 3 for Abs' hair.
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>3799642
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>3799642
Incoming shock
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>3799642
>>
>>3799645
Not bad!

>>3799640
Hold up now, his hair is immune yo heat damage. The question us whether he wears the hat at sea, to protect it from all the salt. Which he clearly does, judging by the roll.
>>
>>3799655
>his hair is immune yo heat damage
Heh, shame his torso isn't, huh?
>>
>>3799682
but till the end his hair was fine
>>
>>3799685
D hair is naturally amazing. Maybe you're born with it. Maybe it's the D.

Any more questions? I'll be updating soonish. Also please mention if you wanna slap anyone's ass, apparently it's all fair game around here.

... Do not slap Mibird's. You WILL die.
>>
>>3799695
>... Do not slap Mibird's. You WILL die.

That would be a fitting end for the quest.
>>
>>3799695
I want to slap Sanji's ass. It'd probably feel like slapping a cannonball. And the look of sheer horror on his face would be nice.
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>3799700
I'm not sure if Flashy would die, or Sanji would implode from the shock, but either way, rolling for broken hand.
>>
>>3799704
Ouch. Gonna need Law to fix that one.
>>
>>3799711
who the hell has haki constantly running across their ass?
>>
>>3799704
I want my revenge on abs

SLAP DAT BOOTY
>>
>>3799704
Damn, Sanji, how solid is dat ass?!

>head back

With a teeny bit more science stuffed into your skull, you order a couple of drinks for Jerk and Nice, and amble on back.

They're looking slightly more rumpled than before, whether from hugging or some kind of fight, you have no idea, but their eyes aren't as red, so you're calling that a win.

Plus, they don't seem to mind that you've arrived, so they're clearly dine with whatever private discussion they had. Apparently the doctor came back to check on Mr Stealthy and then made himself scarce as well, so whatever.

"Oh, and I got you drinks," you add, at their curious looks at your exciting beverages. "Abs, this is your basic bitch drink. Mr Stealthy, this is your actually good drink. If you don't want it, I'll have it. Abs, if you don't want yours, pour it over your head."

"I love pumpkin, thanks," Fireplace shrugs, already swallowing his first mouthful, the tasteless wretch.

Mr Stealthy also appreciates his, which is nice. It's a good thing he got amnesia and didn't get raised with Fireplace, or he might have turned out similar, in which case the only solution would be to destroy the entire planet and start over.

"So I gotta ask," you blatantly lie, flopping down in a chair, "What are you gonna tell Garp? If anything?"

The brothers glance at each other warily.

"... If you could maybe forget you ever saw me, that'd be great," Mr Stealthy suggests, with a charming smile.

"Yeah, the Vice-Admiral doesn't need to know," Abs hastily says. "If the rest of you could not mention him...?"

You shrug. "I can't answer for Mibird, but I'll make sure Klaus doesn't say anything. And, uh, by the way, how worried should I be about Whitebeard gunning for me?"

Fireplace looks at you pointedly, finishing his trash-drink. "You didn't maybe start thinking about that a while back?"

"Well, yeah, but I couldn't ask you then!"

"Ugh." Abs settles back, expression uncomfortable. "I think... they'd be more interested in getting to me, than you. If you'd killed me, that's one thing, but..." He sighs, slumping slightly. "I've made sure not to call them since everything happened. Losing two Commanders in quick succession... they're probably too busy covering gaps and making sure no-one tries to take advantage to do anything right now. When they're secure again - I dunno. They're really not gonna be happy. But I'll be the target, not you."

Mr Stealthy frowns, still sipping at his own drink.

>(More questions?)
>Why haven't you called them? Are you stupid?
>(Say your goodbyes and scarper.)
>Other?

>>3799746
>who has Haki running constantly across their ass (on top of the sea)
Sanjibob Armapants, duh.
>>
>>3799755
>Well am guessing you aint gonna come to Enies with us, so am just gonna go find sword hobo and you 2 have fun, cya at the ship Abs. Try to not burn down the island, I just know I'll get blamed for it.
>>
>>3799755
>>Why haven't you called them? Are you stupid?
>>
>>3799746
The things you learn after two years on Momoiro Island, huh?
>>
Gotta sleeeeep, thanks for playing!
>>
>>3799819
byyyyyyyeeeeeeee
>>
>>3799755
>Might be good you didn't call them. Wouldn't surprise me if we have someone listening to your snails, you being new and even less trusted than the rest.
>>
>>3799846
+1
>>
>>3799755
>Why haven't you called them? Are you stupid?
>>
CP9 in town, am nervous
>>
Wait if there is no way of kaku knowing he is bound to go back to Enies then how would they know to send Wado there?
>>
>>3799951
Has QM confirmed that Kaku is getting it?
>>
>>3799964
no just heavily implied, since Wado is on route to EL to be picked up by a marine swordsman that is going to be involved int he EL kerfufle
>>
THOUGH MAYBE IS GOING TO SPANDAM?!
>>
>>3799994
I don't know if this would be better or worse than Kaku.
>>
>>3799994
No way in hell. Pretty sure Funkfreed is the only living thing he's ever been semi-decent to.
>>
>>3800021
Better for us. Kaku could probably kick our ass without issue unless we bust out the logia. Also worse for us because Spandam is a whiny little shit who'd cry to Lucci.
>>
>>3800034
True, but he also has a high enough rank in the totally-doesn't-exist CP9 that he might be able to fudge himself as a swordsman good enough to warrant Wado. How he got that high in the ranks of a clandestine government organization given his pettiness, incompetence, and emotional outbursts is another question entirely.

Or it's going to Giraffeguy Usopp-lookalike. Probably him actually.
>>
>>3800694
It's actually going to Funkfreed, he's going to wield it with his trunk.
>>
>>3800817
So if he becomes a sword when holding wado does he become a really long sword or a sword with a sword stuck on the end?
>>
>>3800838
Yes.
>>
>>3800694
Spandam was made to be a villain so how he got there is like how he became part of cp 0. Nobody knows and few care. He’s just a guy who is meant to be hated and beat up. I never really hated the guy though due to him hurting himself constantly and that his whole squad insults him constantly. He’s more funny and pathetic than most other villains so I can’t bring myself to hate the guy. He’s also really handsome and strong.
>>
File: 8747653489748765.gif (488 KB, 447x265)
488 KB
488 KB GIF
>>3801546
>>
>>3799511
He was trying to stop gland chan before she spread
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

Speaking of which, rolling to see how Law's Gland Quarantine is working out so far.
>>
>>3802038
Looks like it holds. For now.
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

Rolling for Akainu to become aware of events in alternate realities.
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

Rolling for Flashy's Liver damage.
>>
>>3801546
Hello, definitely not-Spandam. Didn't he get the job due to his father, in canon?

Anyway, just finished work, updates tomorrow. Today. Whatever. Am dying.
>>
>>3802263
>Here lies BP, kill by Zoro's inner monologues
>>
>>3802309
>zolo's internal monologue: swords swords swords beer swords swords beer swords swords swords Mihawk beer swords swords swords damn you gravity swords

Updates from 6pm-ish Britbong, whereupon Fujitora dies and Zolo eats the Gravity Fruit, thus becoming the one thing he swore to destroy (excluding Mibird).
>>
File: 1404514579328.gif (2.24 MB, 480x360)
2.24 MB
2.24 MB GIF
>>3803361
>swords swords swords damn you gravity swords
>damn you gravity swords
>gravity swords
>>
>>3803368
>'Another brilliant idea from Zolo Lolonoa! Now to figure out how to kill gravity...'
>>
>>3803368
>I will turn my greatest weakness into my greatest strength. I am a genius. - Zolo, probably
>>
>>3803731
>Breaking news! Pirate scum killed jumping from top of Enies Lobby swing three swords wildly! Quote: "You ain't shit gravity, become my weapoooon!" - Probably Zolo
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>3803368
Lorrin' for glavity swolds

Then update!
>>
>>3803777
>tfw you win the jackpot but gravy is still too strong
>>
>>3803777
Zolo sux.

>abs, you 'dumbabs', hohoho

"Why haven't you called them," you ask, curious. "Are you stupid?"

Abs twitches, scowling. "It's not that-! I just - Ugh, shut up."

"If he's anything like when we were kids, this moron would rather have them think he willfully betrayed them, then place them realize he got screwed and risk themselves trying to help him," Mr Stealthy says, with the airy voice of someone blatantly disapproving. "Plus this way, he doesn't have to admit an Ensign kicked his ass."

"He did NOT!"

"I was amazing," you confide.

"Your ass is slappable, but his is kickable," Mr Stealthy agrees.

"....." You'll take it. "Thanks?" You think.

Abs, meanwhile, is sulking. "Look, it's just better if they think I'm not - you know, interested any more."

Weird. Dumb. "Do you think they really believe you just blatantly threw over your crew for shits and giggles?"

"... Probably not."

Mr Stealthy sounds frustrated. "Ace, you somehow got even more ridiculous since I left. Just find a secure comms method and tell them everything!"

>I dunno, he's kind of right... from everything I've heard, the Whitebeards'll kick up a huge fuss if they know the truth. A lot of people might die.
>He's right! Call your damn crew, dumbass! Just, uh, don't mention me. It was some random Marine who captured you. A handsome one.
>Honestly, I'm amazed you haven't already run off to rejoin them.
>Other?
>>
>>3803803
>He's right! Call your damn crew, dumbass! Just, uh, don't mention me. It was some random Marine who captured you. A handsome one.
>>
>>3803803
>>He's right! Call your damn crew, dumbass! Just, uh, don't mention me. It was some random Marine who captured you. A handsome one.
>>
>>3803803
>He's right! Call your damn crew, dumbass! Just, uh, don't mention me. It was some random Marine who captured you. A handsome one.
>>
>>3803803
>He's right! Call your damn crew, dumbass! Just, uh, don't mention me. It was some random Marine who captured you. A handsome one.
>>
>u r the handsomest

You roll your eyes at the blatant stupidity. "He's right! Call your damn crew, dumbass! Just, uh, don't mention me. It was some random Marine who captured you. A handsome one."

"That would definitely redirect them from you," Abs muses. Why is he so rude? You've been nothing but charming and polite to him. Or not. "But..." He pulls a face. "It's fine. They'll be okay without me, and I'll deal. At least Garp is helping me with Teach."

You and Mr Stealthy give each other a Look.

"Fireplace is stupid," you tell him.

"He is," he agrees. "But it's fine, because if HE doesn't tell them what's going on, I will."

You don't want to delve into how Mr Stealthy plans to contact them, plausible deniability and all, but Abs scowls, fore flicking from his shoulders. "Mind your own business, Sabo!"

Mr Stealthy's eyes narrow. "No."

>Stay the hell out of familial infighting.
>"Abs, if this were another crewmate in your position, would you think this was for the best?"
>"For some reason, probably his terrible taste, Stealthy-boi here loves you. Do you want him to watch you be miserable?"
>Other?
>>
>>3803860
>>Stay the hell out of familial infighting.
>>
>>3803860
>"Abs, if this were another crewmate in your position, would you think this was for the best?"

There are times to stay out and there are times for action, this is a time for action not just sitting on the sidelines

We gotta gang up on this dumbass and set him straight, because the whitebeards are also this guys family
>>
>>3803860
>>"Abs, if this were another crewmate in your position, would you think this was for the best?"
>>
>>3803860
>"Abs, if this were another crewmate in your position, would you think this was for the best?"
>>
>>3803881
>We gotta gang up on this dumbass and set him straight
Are you suggesting Fireplace might be the kind of moron who makes dumb decisions out of self-sacrificing pride and low self-esteem? Inconceivable!
>>
>>3803860
>"Abs, if this were another crewmate in your position, would you think this was for the best?"
>>
>>3803992
Fireface is absolutely level-headed and calm at all times. A generally cool dude.
>>
>>3803860
>>Stay the hell out of familial infighting.
This is not our problem.
>>
>>3804023
>butt in to the family squabble

You solemnly raise your hand like a good boy. "Quick question! Abs, if this were another crewmate in your position, would you think this was for the best?"

Abs shuts his damn mouth and looks awkward, while Mr Stealthy radiates smugness. "... Uh."

"You'd think they were being a moron, wouldn't you," Mr Stealthy smugs, smugly.

"Uh."

Under the combined power of your unimpressed gaze and his brother's likelihood of hitting him with a pipe, Fireplace slumps. "I guess I should... probably explain things. After we're done at Ennies Lobby, though. I need to figure this out."

You shrug, wishing you had more cookies. "Hey, as long as you don't tell them about me, that's your business. That I'll stick my nose in. Just because. But seriously, I'd rather not be murdered by pissed-off Whitebeard pirates."

Mr Stealthy laughs quietly, looking happier now Abs has agreement to self-torment. "Got a different death in mind, huh."

>In bed of old age at 120 years, after having made Fleet Admiral and revamped the Marines. And having eaten the world's most delicious food.
>Something a lot more dramatic and badass. Like on a cliff, during a storm, having a duel to the death with Lolonoa, or Roronoa, or whoever he is today.
>I plan on living forever, thanks.
>Other?
>>
>>3804156
>In bed of old age at 120 years, after having made Fleet Admiral, revamped the Marines and abolished Slavery. And having eaten the world's most delicious food.
>>
>>3804168
I'll back it.
>>
>>3804156
>In bed of old age at 120 years, after having made Fleet Admiral and revamped the Marines. Surrounded by hordes of my weapons, my children, and my weapon-children.
>>
>>3804156
>Drowning in a vat of caramel. But actually in bed of old age at 120 years, after having made Fleet Admiral and revamped the Marines. And having eaten the world's most delicious food.
>>
>>3804156
>>Something a lot more dramatic and badass. Like on a cliff, during a storm, having a duel to the death with Lolonoa, or Roronoa, or whoever he is today.
>>
>>3804156
>>Something a lot more dramatic and badass. Like on a cliff, during a storm, having a duel to the death with Lolonoa, or Roronoa, or whoever he is today.
Still not on board with the Fleet Admiral idea. They don't really have the power to change anything.
>>
>>3804156
>>In bed of old age at 120 years, after having made Fleet Admiral and revamped the Marines. And having eaten the world's most delicious food.
>>
>>3804156
>>3804168
>In bed of old age at 120 years, after having made Fleet Admiral, revamped the Marines and abolished Slavery. And having eaten the world's most delicious food.
this
>>
>>3804187
who said the goal to become Fleet Admiral and the goal to change shit were even related? It's a position of power to make moves from but it's not like "oh boy I am fleet admiral I can change everything now" more like "I'm fleet admiral now so I can threaten the right people and have them take it seriously"
>>
>>3804187
>>3804259
I've been thinking about it from time to time and I think the biggest obstacle is going to be the dragons, everyone else we can violence and BS our way through but they are going to be an obstacle that we can't fight without making the world our enemy, so we either need to get an in with the rebellion or find a way to make them subtle "disappear" in the future. Oh look here's an in right here in this thread, who left that there? Be a shame if somebody left that in with an impression that we were willing to take drastic action to change things; real shame that.
>>
>>3804187
>highest rank in the marines
>don't have the power to change anything
They have the power to change SOMETHING. Though whether that's enough to make a difference depends on how much they can scare the world nobles. And more subtle changes in the actual operations of the marines could have long-term repercussions.

The potential is there anon. Just might not be the thing one would want or the method. The world nobles would be significantly less powerful if half of the marines decided they were done with their bullshit.
>>
It's 3-3 for mentioning slavery or not, and 2 for death by Zolo. Any more preference for slavery mention or absence?
>>
>>3804272
>>3804277
We'd honestly be better off just joining the revolutionaries if that's the route we're going to take.
>>
>>3804286
we trying to fix the sytem from within
>>
Being Fleet Admiral grants us the perk of full Marine backing, and that's a premium spot for a coup. Leaving the more underhanded shit to Revolutionaries and working with them under the table should also give us the PR necessary to have a strong position and populace support.

Then it's just a matter of having enough strength to actually take down the dragons
>>3804285
I'm fine with it, so long that they understand it's meant to be a secret.
It's not like they lack blackmail material.
>>
>>3804288
The problem with the system is the celestial dragons though.
>>
>pirate Ace
>Revolutionary Sabo
>marine Flashy

these are the ones who control the world behind the scenes.
>>
>>3804296
so lets take over the system to clean up the dragons, if we can get to at least admiral and get people we trust into vice admiral positions we are perfectly situated to clean house, use our know how of law and paperwork to weaken our opponents and plan a coup. Get the good PR going so we are seen as the good marine, eventually make a deal with Dragon via Sabo, Whitebeard via Ace and clean up the celestial dragons. Main obstacle is gonna be the 5 stars, Akainu and the CP0
>>
You can't fix a system this corrupt from within.
Like, this much should be obvious.
They literally have automatic walkways powered by countless slaves.
Even people like Akainu or Garp or Sengoku can't change things.
The Marines at the end of the day exist as a tool of the World Government.

The only way to change things is a violent revolution.
An Uprising to throw the Celestial Dragons from their seats in heaven to the depthsof hell.
>>
>>3804313
This is pretty much my opinion as well. Being a Fleet Admiral won't help us take down the dragons. We'd just become their bitch.
>>
>>3804313
well there already is a violent revolution going, what am saying is that we can become the backbone for what rises after teh revolution and the collaborator from within for the revolution. Besides if we do find out its completely impossible e can always go renegade later, after we have at least tried to change it from within
>>
>>3804313
You're not looking at it right, Yes a violent revolution has to take place I am not arguing that. However as a vice admiral we would possess the power to not only weaken the "old" marines from within but start a splinter group of "new" marines so that when shit finally does go down the establishment will be attacked not just from without but also from within. And after we succeed it's not like marines are going to be a thing we don't need to exist, there will still be pirates and many of them will still be scum.
>>
>>3804325
pretty much this, we are setting ourself up to be the inheriting marines, just lets not call ourselves the Neo Marines, thats taken
>>
>>3804313
Why do you think we're taking the lead of the Marines? Turn them upon their creators. And if worse comes to worse we're still sabotaging and creating internal conflict.

Moreover this way there will still be disciplined groups to take care of the aftermath.
>>
>>3804323
>>3804325
>>3804345
The goal of the revolutionaries is to ditch the celestial dragons while keeping the government intact. They aren't just planning to burn it all to the ground and call it a day.
>>
Got an early start tomorrow, going to sleep. Not sure when I finish, but will try to post update time on break. Thanks for playing!
>>
>>3804352
yeah but isnt it better if high owers within the marines already want to do that and are likely to cooperate, especially if the new Admiral has say... a personal connection to Dragons right hand man?
>>
>>3804358
I'm pretty sure the high ranking members of the marines already despise the dragons. Even assholes like Akainu can't stand their bullshit. It probably wouldn't be too hard to get them to cooperate.
>>
>>3804395
>getting angry old dudes who do their duty to work with terrorists
I'm not saying it's impossible but I'd sooner place my bets on a lobster learning how to fly.
>>
>>3804469
the dragons will not go down quietly, when shit finally does go down this shit is going to be huge as fuck full on battle for the world bullshit. There will be sides of us vs them, now either the marines are the bad guys during this shitstorm or only SOME of the marines are the bad guys while the marines that are good people but just ignorant of the system or just doing what they can while change is impossible can rally to the correct side of the shit show. Do you want to kill Smoker? What about the rest of our family?

Nah man we got to get the marines sorted out, no taking the easy way and just bailing on our family to play hero.
>>
>>3804526
We wouldn't need to worry about Smoker. He'd be with us 100%. The only reason he wouldn't do anything before is because there was nothing he could do because of low influence. Someone like Akainu on the other hand just deals with the bullshit of the world nobles and he most certainly has the power and pull to make stuff happen down the chain in the marines. If I had to choose I wouldn't trust the higher echelon of the marines, even if they don't agree with the current state of affairs.

The obvious choice is to make Smoker fleet admiral and replace most of the vice admirals with our minions and buddies. Still can't trust Tashigi though. Sorry sis.
>>
>>3804526
What are we going to do when we're asked to pull an Ohara? We can't make it that high in the ranks without doing the dragons dirty work.
>>
>>3804574
easy, evacuate everyone we can and save as many lives as possible while faking a moral crisis. Worst case we get caught and we have to go on the run which is no worse off then where alot of anons want to put up voluntarily. At least in this here we are in position to save some lives.
>>
>>3804574
I mean, honestly, we probably could. We jumped like three or four ranks taking in Ace, and knowing how much of a chaotic mess the New World and everything is going to be, if we play our cards right then we might be able to make it into a high rank on merit, if we bring in enough big catches. As far as what we do after we get to a fairly high rank...eh. We alone probably couldn’t do much, unless we straight up made Admiral. But from a position like Rear Admiral or Vice Admiral we could probably help others that we know would be willing to help us purge this shitty corruption in the marines into higher positions, like Fop (After we smooth things out), Tashigi (When she finally stops being a stubborn, black and white ass), Yu (We could probably get her into some sort of high ranking specialized position just based on the fact that she’s a mermaid, and also a marine), and Hat and Sunglasses (.....okay, maybe not Hat and Sunglasses, but you know what I mean). Kinda just, you know, push out all the old dudes. I mean, they’re gonna retire eventually, and if we make sure that most of the new blood that replaces them is willing to help us overthrow the Celestial Dragons, something like a coup with the help of Sabo and the rebels isn’t outside the realm of possibility.
>>
>>3804608
Trying to overthrow an 800 year old empire from the inside seems a lot harder than just joining the already existing revolution that has the same goals as we do. And convincing Smoboss and the others to join the revolutionaries would probably be easier then convincing them to go along with a coup.
>>
>>3804156

>In bed of old age at 120 years, after having made Fleet Admiral and revamped the Marines. And having eaten the world's most delicious food.

Might be 2 late but whatever man
>>
>>3804878
It's never too late to go for your dreams my friend.
>>
>>3804635
I mean, doing JUST a coup would be harder then going off to join the Revolution, yeah, but working together with the Revolutionaries to oust the Celestial Dragons would be the same token be a good bit easier. Having a high ranking marine official (Or multiple) on the inside would probably go a long way towards helping the Revolutionaries plans come to fruition. We’re in a position that the Revolutionaries would have a lot of trouble getting into right now, so sticking it out until we can reach a high rank and be in a much better position to do things would be a far superior option to just tossing all that away to become another normal Revolutionary. We can do a lot more damage from the inside then if we just bailed and went to the outside like they all already are.
>>
Also, I know this isn't really a problem right now, but we have got to find a solution to the weapon problem. I know it's kinda cool we have so many weapons, but we literally have too many options to pick from.
I mean, fuck, we haven't even TALKED about the fans or the heat lance in what feels like 8 threads ago. But there's no real reason in bringing them up, since we have cannon balls and ka-tan/cut-tan combo that's pretty much that best option for us. Hell, cannonballs pretty much makes pistol-chan obsolete at this point except as a compass.
And the awakening system isn't as bad, but it just adds another layer of the problem, making the awakened weapon (presumably) stronger than any of the others, making them even MORE obsolete, but when it catches up, it's gonna be a bitch.
Also, I'm not complaining about the quest nor the GM, I love how much of a offtrack thing it is, but we need together our shit together and make a decision.
>>
>>3805176
Pretty sure BPQM already solved this issue threads ago. If we started training our weapon swapping skills like we planned since forever we would see better results, and training different weapons gives bonuses when dealing with certain characters. The fans for example would be good for recruiting Miss Thursday.
And Pistol-chan isn't obsolete, we are limited to 4 cannonballs and have virtually infinite bullets. Also, the Pistol is better in close quarters and inside buildings and has the Quickdraw bonus .
>>
>>3805176
To be fair, that’s probably because we’ve been so busy running from one issue to another and fighting actual battles that we haven’t really had the chance to vote for training this weapon or that, like we did in earlier threads. But yeah, we should probably work on, eh, I don’t know what you’d call it. Cementing niches for all our weapons or something, I guess? Like, we need to figure out something we can use our rapier for that our cutlass or katana can’t already do as well or better. Or figure out how to use our fans in a way that doesn’t just make them out to be swords we have less skill points in. Practicing with throwing them and using the chains to restrain targets, maybe? Or maybe we could use them like actual fans. We’ve got crazy shounen strength, maybe we could generate big gusts of wind by swinging them hard enough, or spin around to make a tornado or something like that. The lance...to effectively use it we’d probably need a high speed movement technique or something. Or some sort of mount, which is a pretty unlikely find. I guess try to pick up Geppo or Soru while we’re at Enies maybe? We could probably do some sort of crazy 4d lance charging tactics with them, like skewer them above or continuously charge at them from a bunch of difference angles or what have you. But yeah, it mostly comes down to finding something special we can do with each of our weapons. Just fitting them all into a few categories is dooming at least some of them to obscolesence. Also training our weapon swapping so we can quickly switch between weapons to adapt our fighting style to whatever changes in our combat situation.
>>
>>3805260
I just want to go back hom- onto the White Mist and play catch with da- Smoker.
>>
>>3805374
Oh fuck, when was the last time we used Jitte san? He’s gonna be pissed if he finds out.
>>
>>3805576
Didn't we figure out how to use metal cutting with Jitte-san on the subpirate?
>>
>>3805576
8888)

Updates tonight, not sure when. 7-8ish?
>>
Just throwing in my two cents on the whole revolution thing. I honestly think that becoming fleet admiral would be really effective. The muscle of the dragons are the marines. If the next time some slobby dragon wants to call Borsalino to nuke an island cause some guy punched him for trying to rape his wife we just look at the admirals and say, “No.”

What are the dragons going to do about it? Throw slaves at us? “Your sentences are considered served and you’re free now.”

Unless the dragons have some kind of other ace up their sleeve that we don’t know about, becoming fleet admiral is a pretty damn effective way to neuter the dragons.
>>
>>3805756
At least until the Five Stars, or whatever they're called, get involved, and make life a pain in the butt for us. And that's without involving the big cheese at the top.
>>
>>3805725
Never mind, forgot it was quiz night. Updates sometime latish. Pity me.

>>3805756
>ace up their sleeve
No, that was Akainu.
>>
File: 8765765765.gif (1.25 MB, 500x250)
1.25 MB
1.25 MB GIF
>>3805813
>No, that was Akainu.
Cheeky.
>>
>>3805756
We would just lose our job and be executed if we tried that. Even if we somehow managed to get all of our family into high ranking positions it wouldn't be enough to keep us safe. The marines are a huge organization and power hungry assholes will always exist.
>>
>>3805896
If you're the fleet admiral, you're basically the biggest bad ass around, a healthy relationship with the admirals is all we'll need, as they'd be the only guys with enough clout to be a threat.

Also, this is one piece land, one impassioned speech about the evils of the dragons and their clear injustices will be enough to get the majority of the marines on our side.
>>
I think people are forgetting that even if Flashman becomes a fleet admiral, he has other faces that can stoke the fires of revolution
>>
>>3805938
The Commander-in-Chief, the Gorosei, and Im are probably bigger badasses but we really don't know. Oda hasn't gotten around to explaining how the Celestial Dragons keep the marines in check.
>>
most delicious food int eh world flashy wants to eat is a cake right?
>>
>>3805969
Money. The world Goverment pays for the marines and the nobles. The high amount of equally strong bribed marines keep others from stepping out of line. By rearing a system involving our trusted [ Tashigi, Smoboss, Fop, Hat & glasses] we basically neuter any chance of opposition. Also to comment on something earlier, while I'm glad you guys think Smoker adores us, I'm not sure he's drop his life defeating pirates and defending civies for an ensign he met 7 months ago. It's be as silly as say, taking decide the side of a pirate who we barely know over our sword sis we basics live with.
>>
>>3805998
Probably sugar mixed in icing with a dash of cinnamon.
>>
>>3806148
>I'm not sure he's drop his life defeating pirates and defending civies for an ensign he met 7 months ago.
Technically he doesn't even need to be a marine for that.
>>
>>3806153
And technically we don't have to be a rebel to fix society. Point is that expecting him to drop his entire career cause we think we can fix the system better by openly defying it is a douche move.
>>
>>3806160
>And technically we don't have to be a rebel to fix society.
A coup is just an internal rebellion though.
>>
>>3806174
....you win this round doom sayanon.
>>
>I LIVE

The answer is obvious. "In bed of old age at 120 years, after having made Fleet Admiral and revamped the Marines. And having eaten the world's most delicious food."

"What food is that?" There's Abs, focusing on the important thing.

"Revamp the Marines?" And there's Mr Stealthy, perking up at the annoyingly hard-work part. Blegh.

>Probably some type of cake.
>Yeeeeah, I'm not really happy with... kind of a few things, actually.
>Oh, and I gotta find some way to get my kid down from Skypiea. Poor thing'll be lonely up there without papa~!
>Other?
>>
>>3806380
>>Yeeeeah, I'm not really happy with... kind of a few things, actually.

also you never mentioned the slavery QM the write in mentioned abolishing slavery.
>>
>>3806380
>>Oh, and I gotta find some way to get my kid down from Skypiea. Poor thing'll be lonely up there without papa~!
>>
>>3806380
>Probably some type of cake.
>>
>>3806380
>Yeeeeah, I'm not really happy with... kind of a few things, actually.
>>
>>3806380
>>Yeeeeah, I'm not really happy with... kind of a few things, actually.
>>
>>3806380
>Yeeeeah, I'm not really happy with... kind of a few things, actually.
>>
>>3806380
>Probably some type of cake. Christmas cake
>Yeeeeah, I'm not really happy with... kind of a few things, actually.
>Oh, and I gotta find some way to get my kid down from Skypiea. Poor thing'll be lonely up there without papa~!
ALL OF IT
>>
>>3806387
The version that mentioned slavery didn't win.
>>
>>3806387
There were a couple more votes without mentioning slavery, but you can clarify it for him anyway.

>

"Yeeeeah." You pull a face. "I'm not really happy with... kind of a few things, actually."

Mr Stealthy cocks an eyebrow, propping his chin on a hand, elbow on knee as he leans forwards. "Yeah? What like?"

>????

(You can keep it short and sweet and vague, or go on a hate-filled rant regarding corruption, slavery, abuse of power, racism and how many damn knots you have to learn.)
>>
>>3806411
>Rant regarding corruption, slavery, abuse of power, racism
>>
>>3806411
>Rant regarding corruption, slavery, abuse of power, racism
>"We're supposed to protect people."
>>
>>3806411
>Use observation to make sure there are no eavesdroppers
>The standard complaints really, corruption, abuse of power, torturing people in Impel Down for shits and giggles, the entire Sabaody situation.
>>
>>3806416
>Use observation to make sure there are no eavesdroppers
+This
>>
>>3806411
>channel haki
>rant
>>
>>3806411
>>3806424
This pretty much sums it up.
>>
>Also Angel Food cake cooked by Big Moms personal chefs, thats the best food int he world
>>
>>3806434
>the big meme pirates
>NOT over-sugaring their food
>>
>>3806442
There's no such thing as over-sugaring you heretic.
>>
>>3806424
This.
>>
>>3806451
And this is why no one lets you cook. Too much sugar can affect the consistency as well as the flavor. Next you'll tell me you can't over-salt either.
>>
>>3806411
>>3806424
This
>>
>>3806411
>use observation haki
>a long hateful rant about the state of the world is those blasted dragons and those assholes in the marine and all their bullshit
I'm sure you wanted some write ins but I'm creatively tapped out right now

>food

THE MOST DELICIOUS FOOD IN THE WORLD IS LOCATED ON THE LEGENDARY CANDY ISLAND, THE ONE ISLAND THAT NOT EVEN THAT PI-FAG ROGER COULD FIND!
THAT IS MY GOAL
>>
>>3806424
this
>>
I'm in desperate need of sleep, so you guys can come up with a specific rant or I'll figure something out. My day off tomorrow so hopefully lots of updates! Woohoo~!

Thanks for playing Diabetes: The Marining, and good night.
>>
Definitely this. Also bring up what kind of choice is it that we have to choose between killing pirates or letting them suffer in Impel Down. Especially the ones who aren't really that bad.
>>
>>3806411
>>Rant regarding corruption, slavery, abuse of power, racism
>>"We're supposed to protect people."
>>
>>3806411
>Use observation to make sure there are no eavesdroppers.
>The standard complaints, really. Corruption, abuse of power, torturing people in Impel Down for shits and giggles, the entire Sabaody situation.
>Just unload on the fucker. Then sum it up with 'the world needs the Marines and the world government, but it needs Marines and a government actually worth the name, not this worthless fucking mess'.
>>
>>3806411
Pretty much what everyone else has voted for, but take one gigantic swig from whatever alcohol (preferably pink flamingo) is available before launching into a rant on why everything sucks.
>>
>>3806776
Yeah, and light a cigar too.
Get the real "world is a fuck" look going.
>>
>>3806776
>take one gigantic swig from whatever alcohol is available
>>3806781
>Yeah, and light a cigar too

Like father(s) like son i suppose
>>
>>3806805
Neither of them are particularly good influences.
>>
think the QM wanted us to write a rant for flashy, I am not a writer by any means but I took a stab at it because why not.

flashy lets a deep sigh as the happiness falls away from his face and he locks eyes with mr steathy

that's one way to put it, another is that the marines are completely and utterly fucked. For a start over on sabaody they just... take who every they want as slaves and if a marine asks too many questions they disappear or share the same fate, and ultimately the dragons are behind it so there is little that can be done while they are still in power

Some Pirates I have seen with my own eyes including strawbrat are basically innocent but are not even afforded trials, instead they are sent to imple down which from the best I can tell accomplishes actually nothing except get off some sick freaks jollies for torture.

There are marines out there who are just as bad or worse then the scum I have dedicated my life to fighting, racism is rampant.
The entire marine system is strife with corruption and only exists to be a tool for evil at this point, and I refuse to let that stand.

flash takes a chug of a pink flamingo from a hip flask then back to the sillyness
>>
>>3806984
>Not using green

Use “ > “

To make green text. It’s easy and makes your text pop out more.
>>
>>3807086
Also how much of the government’s corruption does flashy know about? Is it just slaves or does he know about celestial dragons too? I forget what klaus told us and what he didn’t tell.
>>
>>3806411
>>3806424
Support

Also when is Sabo going to learn that we're the ones who sassed the world's most wanted way back when
>>
>>3807094
Flashy only really knows about Sabaody and some vague info on Impel Down. I think the only corruption he's actually seen with his own eyes are the Doffy files.
>>
>>3807258
Pretty much. And while it's public knowledge that Impel Down is officially Not Fun, the details aren't known to the public or even the majority of the Marines. Even the Marines know better than to publicise that kinda shit.

>>3806776
You're currently in a doctor's clinic, so probably handwash. Delicious.

Updates around probably 6pm-ish Britbong, got a lot of housework etc to catch up on.
>>
>>3807258
Flashy did hear from klaus that all the rumors about Impel Down are if anything *less* horrible than the reallity. We might not know the specifics but we do know that it's bad enough that some people prefer to kill or outright let go opponents they like rather than send them to Impel Down
>>
something
>>
>>3807335
well does the doctor at least have sme of those lolipops they give to little kids if they behave while getting vaccines?
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>3807765
....

Rolling.
>>
>>3807790
Darn they're out of the blue ones.
>>
>>3807790
Yes, but they're augar-free because he values his patients' dental health.

> I can't be bothered to roll for Haki so let's just say it auto-succeeds. it's been a long day, okay?

"Ugggh." You pull a face, but flick your Observation on, just in case. "The standard complaints really, corruption, abuse of power, apparently torturing people in Impel Down for shits and giggles, the entire Sabaody situation." At least you don't have to keep your mouth shut for Abs and Mr Stealthy. Abs is obviously... not a fan of the World Government, and while you may not recognize Mr Stealthy or know his bounty, you doubt he sings their praises either. Not if he breaks into docks and runs around hitting people with lead pipes.

Seriously. A pipe? Really?

.... Okay, you kinda wanna try hitting someone with a pipe now. But still.

Fireplace is remaining almost studiously silent for some reason, feeling almost curious-anticipatory-concerned, with a continuing undercurrent of sheer happiness - the result of finding his brother alive, you guess. As for Mr Stealthy - eager-amused-thoughtful-smug-relieved, with a similar thread of joy bubbling through it all.

Awwww. Family. Not that you're an expert.

"That's a lot of things to reform," the later points out, though he doesn't sound dismissive. "Sounds hard. And long-term."

"Well, yeah, but it's not exactly unimportant," you argue. "I mean, I didn't even know about the slavery thing until really recently, so what other crap is going on that only the higher-ups know about?"

"Makes sense," Mr Sealthy muses, though he doesn't feel at all surprised. Abs remains silent, sipping almost too-casually at his basic bitch beverage. "I guess with a Logia, you have a pretty good shot of making the higher ranks too, huh?"

"He's got Haki as well," Abs finally speaks. "Including Conqueror's."

A spark of avid interest flares in Mr Stealthy, while you're just confused.

>I have what now?
>Uh, I have Observation, and I'm working on Armament. Dunno what Conqueror's is.
>I don't have a Logia. Or 'Conqueror's', as cool as that sounds.
>Other?
>>
>>3807833
>I have what now?
>>
>>3807833

>Uh, I have Observation, and I'm working on Armament. Dunno what Conqueror's is.

Conquerors is super rare so it's not impossible to have never heard of it
>>
>>3807833
>>I have what now?
>>
>>3807833
>Uh, I have Observation, and I'm working on Armament. Dunno what Conqueror's is.
>>
>>3807833
>Uh, I have Observation, and I'm working on Armament. Dunno what Conqueror's is
>>
>>3807833
>I have what now?
>>
>>3807833
>>I have what now?
>>
>>3807833
>I have what now?
>>
>>3807833
>I have what now?

Here we go
>>
>>3807833
>Yer' a wizard, Harry.

Also, I dont blame you for half assing it on the Haki roll, real life's a pain in the butt.
>>
>you have a very 'special' power called 'autist's haki'

Huh? "I have what now?"

Both of them glance at you, emotions tasting like mild confusion. It's very bland. "Conqueror's Haki," Abs says. "You know, what you hit Mihawk with?"

... You're pretty sure you didn't hit him at all, much as you tried. "Noooooo?"

Abs and Mr Stealthy glance at each other in that annoying silent-communication kind of way that even Observation can't help with. "You went to the Academy, right?" Mr Stealthy looks back to you. "They don't teach you about it?"

"They probably prefer their recruits ignorant," Fireplace widely comments, while you raise your arms wide in a 'lol i dunno' gesture.

Mr Stealthy gives a slightly wicked grin. "Well, loathe as I am to disappoint the Government, allow me to educate you about the lesser-known, third form of Haki..."

And then he goes on to explain that you're apparently a one in a million type'a guy who has magical willpower that can knock people out. And Abs apparently felt you use it at the end of your spar with Mibird, which is probably why he took an interest in you.

"This is literally the most stupid thing I've ever heard," you finally tell them. "And I have to hear myself speak every day."

"Trust me, the stuff you say is a lot more stupid," Fireplace assures you. You throw a cushion at his face, which he tragically survives.

(Knowledge of Conqueror's Haki acquired! Can try to activate it deliberately with exceptionally low chance of success.)

"In any case," Mr Stealthy continues airily, ignoring your vicious attack, "that's the sort of thing that gets the attention of higher-ranked Marines -" (Oh, goody, ANOTHER thing to hide~) "- which is good for your promotion prospects. And if you have the other two as well, you'll likely climb the ranks preeetty fast."

"I'm not really admitting to having Haki, at the moment," you admit. "My C.O. says it'll get me transferred under someone else. And a Logia, if I had one. Which I don't."

Mr Stealthy feels almost liken he doesn't believe you about the Logia. "If you want to get promoted quickly and change things, you're going to have to serve under someone else eventually."

"Yeah, can't guarantee Ol' Smokey'll get promoted at the same times as you," Abs agrees.

>... I know. I'll come clean about my Haki when I hit Captain. Got to keep my Logia quiet, though.
>So what you're saying is I need to make Rear-Admiral fast as I can, and have Smoboss work under me?
>If I could work under someone who isn't a by-the-books officer or an asshole, it wouldn't be so bad, but it's not like I can guarantee who I'd get.
>Other?
>>
>>3807972
>Other?
So what you're saying is do marine work, but present it almost entirely as Smoker's in reports so he climbs the ranks to Fleet Admiral? Good plan Fireplace! I knew I wanted to bake a cupcake for you for a reason!
>>
>>3807972
>I know, I'm trying to at least get Smoboss promoted as far as I can, got him learning Observation, if I want to do this I'm going to need people I can trust in high positions, and if there is a marine that can be trusted to do whats right when presented with the full information its Smoker. I'll come clean about Haki when I hit Captain, but I'm keeping the Logia under wraps for a bit longer, probably until i hit Rear-admiral, depends on what I need to do.
>>
>>3807972
>If I could work under someone who isn't a by-the-books officer or an asshole, it wouldn't be so bad, but it's not like I can guarantee who I'd get

Smoboss is a great da- I mean boss but before we were content to just stay under him and schmuck around, now we got goals and shit which means we gotta spread our wings and jump out into the real world

Gotta leave the nest so to speak
>>
now lets hope Enies shatter Ta-sis world view into something more realistic
>>
>>3807972
>>If I could work under someone who isn't a by-the-books officer or an asshole, it wouldn't be so bad, but it's not like I can guarantee who I'd get.
>>
>>3807972
>>3807980
+1
>>
2-2 for
>>3807980
And
>by the books etc

If there's no more votes soonish, I'll roll.
>>
>>3808089
I'll vote
>If I could work under someone who isn't a by-the-books officer or an asshole, it wouldn't be so bad, but it's not like I can guarantee who I'd get.
>>
>3-2 vote, I'll take it

You huff, alumping slightly. Life is awful. Everything sucks. Insert angst here. "If I could work under someone who isn't a by-the-books officer or an asshole, it wouldn't be so bad, but it's not like I can guarantee who I'd get."

"Maybe you could," Mr Stealthy suggests, almost consideringly.

"Huh?"

"Mm. Don't worry about it just now. I mean, you've only just made Commander, right?" He shoots you a winning smile and a wink that's almost more sexually-harassing than Abs' ass-slaps. "Give me a little while, and maybe I can smooth things a little for you, yeah?"

>... You have that kind of pull? What the hell kinda pirate are you?
>Uh, do I owe you my soul or first-born or something for that? Because if so, I'll pass.
>That sounds good? I think? ... Should I ask how?
>Other?
>>
>>3808104
>That sounds good? I think? ... Should I ask how?
>What's in it for you?
>>
>>3808104
>>Uh, do I owe you my soul or first-born or something for that? Because if so, I'll pass.
>>
>>3808104
>That sounds good? I think? ... Should I ask how?
>On the one hand I feel like I don't want to know, on the other hand I reeaaaaaaaaally want to know
>>
>>3808104
>Uh, do I owe you my soul or first-born or something for that? Because if so, I'll pass.
>>
>>3808104
>That sounds good? I think? ... Should I ask how?
>>
this is it folks, we becoming an agent of the revolution
>>
>>3808104
>Uh, do I owe you my soul or first-born or something for that? Because if so, I'll pass.
>>
>>3808104
>>That sounds good? I think? ... Should I ask how?
>>
so far 3 for "should i ask how" and 3 for "first born"
>>
>>3808141
and as soon as i say that another vote for Should i ask gets added
>>
>>3808142
Know my pain.

Gonna call vote in five minutes unless someone else votes, causes a tie, and then I have to go sulk in annoyance for a while.
>>
>>3808148
I shall keep breaking ties!

>That sounds good? I think? ... Should I ask how?
>>
>>3808154
FUCK YOOOOOOOOU

You're first up against the wall when the glorious Revolution comes.
>>
>>3808110
+1
>>
>>3808163
Calling and writing!
>>
>>3808104
>Uh, do I owe you my soul or first-born or something for that? Because if so, I'll pass.

I feel like we could probably ask Garp (maybe via Ace) to do us a "favour" in exchange for the whole Law thing and guarantee us either a position under him, or a position under some other reasonably-minded officer.
>>
>the mystery is too much

Uh. "That sounds good? I think? ... Should I ask how?" On the one hand, you feel like you don't want to know, but on the other hand, you reeeeeeeally want to know.

Mr Stealthy smiles at you beatifically. "No."

... Is he actually a Marine? Some kind of high-ranking, super-secret undercover guy with a load of contacts and pull, and HOLY SEASUS THAT EXPLAINS IT

He's like - Cipher Pol or something! The one that 'doesn't exist' but everyone totally knows it does! That's why he was spying at the docks, it was some kind of pirate ship, or Revolutionaries or something! And that's why he's interested in having the Marines reformed, because of course some Government spy would know more than you about all the crap that's going on behind the scenes!

It's all so obvious.

Mr Stealthy, aka Sabo, is a Government agent.

"Iiiiiiii'm gonna keep my mouth shut," you intone. If he really has that kind of pull - Well, it would suck not to work under Smoboss, but that's a way off, anyway, and you gotta break a few heads to make an omelette or something. Can you put sugar in an omelette? Hmm.

"I'll get in contact with you when thing a are sorted, but you'll probably have to be a Captain first anyway, so no rush," Mr Stealthy chirps, still smiling as he leans back again.

"Uh, should I give you my contact detai-?"

"No need." He grins wider.

...... Being a super-spy is pretty convenient, huh.

Fireplace coughs, somewhat awkwardly. "If you guys are done plotting the overthrow of the Government...?" Man, what an exaggeration. "Tra- Flashman, can I borrow your den den for a while? I'm gonna call... people."

He's gonna call his crew. Ex-crew. Whatever.

>(hand Mr Speedy over and head out. You're gonna meet up later anyway.)
>Don't you want a little time to prepare first?
>Not to be a dick, but can you call on a different den den? Just in case it's intercepted, having my den den linked to it could be... bad.
>Other?
>>
>>3808235
>>(hand Mr Speedy over and head out. You're gonna meet up later anyway.)
>>
>>3808235
>Not to be a dick, but can you call on a different den den? Just in case it's intercepted, having my den den linked to it could be... bad.
After not accounting for everything lead to us owing Robin a favour, I'm not taking any chances.
>>
>>3808235
>>(hand Mr Speedy over and head out. You're gonna meet up later anyway.)
>Be careful with him, he has seen more than most Paradise pirates
>>
>>3808235
>(hand Mr Speedy over and head out. You're gonna meet up later anyway.)
>>
>>3808235
>(hand Mr Speedy over and head out. You're gonna meet up later anyway.)

Don't piss him off, he'll kick your ass, mr. Speedy is the strongest there is
>>
>>3808235
>>3808248
+1
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>a'ight, imma head on out

Shrugging, you pull Mr Speedy out and hand him over. "Be careful with him, he's seen more than most Paradise pirates."

Abs carefully plucks the den den from your grasp, looking at him warily. Mr Speedy glowers back balefully, ready to tear Fireplace apart like an oddly-warm lettuce-leaf.

"... I'm terrified," Abs tells you. You nod, pleased.

"Have a good time in Ennies Lobby," Mr Stealthy says, still grinning at you, looking all classy with the top hat and coat, and then ruining it with the pipe.

Good hair, though. Really good hair.

Oh no. You're becoming Klaus.

>Speaking off sword-hobo, go track him down.
>You've still got an hour before the camera's done - take a wander for a while. (Random event/encounter.)
>Track down Mibird, see how many people he's stabbed.
>Water. 7. Candy.
>Other?

(You'll buy some salt on your way to wherever you decide to go, I haven't forgotten! )

Also rolling for Mr Speedy to unlock Conqueror's Haki.
>>
>>3808326
>>You've still got an hour before the camera's done - take a wander for a while. (Random event/encounter.)
might as well
>>
>>3808326
>>You've still got an hour before the camera's done - take a wander for a while. (Random event/encounter.)
B-BOX!
>>
>>3808326
>>You've still got an hour before the camera's done - take a wander for a while. (Random event/encounter.)
Mr Speedy doesn't need Conqueror's Haki to kick ass.
>>
>>3808326
>>Speaking off sword-hobo, go track him down.
>>
>>3808326
>You've still got an hour before the camera's done - take a wander for a while. (Random event/encounter.)
>>
IT'S TIME TO GET R-R-R-RANDOM

>Roll 1d100, best of 3!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>3808343
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>3808343
i feel like rolling a 74
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>3808343
kay
>>
>>3808343
Xiaolong pirate time?
>>
Rolled 67, 20, 55 = 142 (3d100)

>>3808349
Appalling.

>>3808352
Meh, but you called it incorrectly, so pitiful.

>>3808354
Also crap.

>>3808361
With that roll? Nice try.

Shameful display from all of you, what the hell was up with the milkshake and cookies from earlier? Well, you get a non-awful, but non-great situation. Hold up while I sort this out.

Rolling for unrelated background stuff.
>>
>>3808371
damn, was hoping to run into another Warlord cause Flashy seems to be Warlord catnip, like Jinbe jsutt dropping by Water 7 for some reason
>>
Congrats on never finding out why Sabo was spying on that ship, by the way.

1 n-oc
2 cc
3 rs
4 t
5 fbp
6 bu
7 bs
8 pc
9 pp
10 c

>Roll 1d10, first 3 rolls count
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>3808392
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>3808392
Probably wasn't anything important.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>3792147
I tried to >>3808392 not very hard but I did.
>>
>>3808403
You have never done anything wrong, and you're my favourite player. ... Whoever you are.

All right, all you horrible, plot-avoiding people!

Vote:
>Run across a canon character (you don't get to choose who)
>Run across a fellow bounty photographer
>A wild pickpocket appears!
>>
>>3808418
>>Run across a fellow bounty photographer
>>
>>3808418
>>Run across a canon character (you don't get to choose who)
>>
>>3808418
>>Run across a canon character (you don't get to choose who)
>>
>>3808418
>A wild pickpocket appears!

More reformed criminal family, yay!
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>3808418
>>A wild pickpocket appears!
>>
>>3808418
>>A wild pickpocket appears!
>>
>pick a peck of pickled pocket

1st roll - odd male, even female
2nd roll - 1-30 child, 31-60 young teen, 61-99 older teen, 100 ?????
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>3808517
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>3808517
Dammit
>>
Rolled 1 (1d5)

>>3808528
14+dice years old.
>>
>>3808531
I personally wanted a little brother, we already have a little blood sister
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>15 years old

Bereft of a den den, and with nothing to do for... oh, an hour or so, you decide to wander.

Having seen some interesting shops earlier, you wander the shopping and market area, eyeing the food stalls in particular - you're talked into buying a decent quantity of some salt that Water 7 is apparently famed for, when it happens.

>Roll 1d100, best of 3

>>3808538
Your fate is to eternally be the younger brother. Or the girl is actually a trap. One of the two.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>3808543
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>3808543
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>3808543
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>3808543
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>3808543
The punishment for theft is the removal of ones hand. Or like, a slap upside the head. I'm not a legalistician.
>>
>>3808547
Rolling to see if salt depowers Flashy's luck.

>perception check success

... Yeeeeeah. That girl over there? She's definitely eyeing up the pocket some guy just put his wallet back in. Ever since the Witch, you've been hyper-alert to that sorta thing.

Pausing beside a stall selling knock-off designer bags, you watch her as discreetly as you can while she casually ambles in the same sort of direction as her obvious target. She's obviously not all that good, judging by the way her gaze sometimes flicks down to the pocket a little too noticeably.

It's busy enough here that the kid (younger than you) hasn't noticed the handsome Marine Commander hanging around, which gives you the perfect opportunity to

>intercept her before she gets to the guy.
>wait for her to strike, and catch her in the act.
>go pick her own pocket. JUSTICE.
>Other?

>>3808571
The hand is removed, and then used to slap the criminal's head.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>3808584
Misspelled roll.
>>
>>3808584
>Other?

Let her pick the pocket, then pick her pocket, then handcuff her and yeet her to the nearest jail cell
>>
>>3808584
>>intercept her before she gets to the guy.
>>
>>3808584
>>wait for her to strike, and catch her in the act.
>>
>>3808584
>>wait for her to strike, and catch her in the act.
>>
>>3808584
>intercept her before she gets to the guy

Good guy flashy trying to not be forced to arrest a 15 yo
>>
>>3808633
>meanwhile, in Judge Flashman universe: beating the hell out of a little girl and sending her to prison for attempted pickpocketing
>>
>>3808584
>kill her, then kill the person she was pick-pocketing and then all the witnesses
DARK JUSTICE
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>3808650
[Lucci approval intensifies]

Going to sleep, guess who has a late start tomorrow and gets to do more updates instead? IT'S A-ME, QM-IO~!

Night all! Vote still open, rolling for STUFF.
>>
>>3808658
All these rolls lately are approaching rayleigh jr. Levels of suck
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>3808665
Hmmph, it's that natural result of forsaking Justice.
DARK JUSTICE GIVE ME STRENGTH
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>3808676
I think it would be good if justice was about being nice to people.
>>
>>3808684
>>
>>3808684
F-fuck.
How could my nonsensical kill everyone mindset be wrong?
I was so sure I was doing the right thing by killing all those people for no reason...
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>3808690
Absolute Justice, Tasuketeeeeeee!
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3808694
>>
>>3808698
Win some, lose some.
>>
>>3808699
And that's how Kuzan lost a leg.
>>
>>3808684
No! Real justice is they gouge out your eye, you gouge out both their eyes, chop off their legs and send them to Impel Down! That's the Government waaaaaay~

Okay, it's 2-2 for intercept or catch her in the act, one for murder everyone, and one for mass pickpocketing and arrest.
Aaaaany more votes?
>>
>>3809335
Intercept.
>>
>>3808595
>>3809335
Changing my vote to catch her in the act
>>
>>3808584
>>intercept her before she gets to the guy.
>>
>intercept the CRIMINAL SCUM

Yeeeah, no. Prevention before punishment!

You sidle quickly through the shoppers, attention focused... like A HAWK. Of JUSTICE. As the girl nears her own target (of INJUSTICE and also CRIME), you carefully move behind her, reach out as she watches the pocket, and... poke her shoulder.

She flinches hard, jumping around to stare up at you with panicked eyes.

>Aaaaaayyyyy... what'cha doooooin'?
>Nice wallet that guy has, huh?
>Hello, citizen, I'm looking for pickpockets. Seen any around?
>Other?
>>
>>3809402
>Aaaaaayyyyy... what'cha doooooin'?

Summon a lollipop from your mysterious sugar dimension ability and give it to her
Then tell her to hop into your unmarked white van for a JUSTICE
>>
>>3809402
>"Stop! You've violated the law! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence, your stolen goods are now forfeit!"
>>
>>3809402
>Aaaaaayyyyy... what'cha doooooin'?
>>
>>3809427
>>Aaaaaayyyyy... what'cha doooooin'?
support
>>
>>3809402
>Aaaaaayyyyy... what'cha doooooin'?
Let her do all the talking.
>>
>DISGUSTING WRETCH, YOUR SENTENCE IS D E A T H

"Aaaaaayyyy," you say, with a happy smile and idiot eyes. "What'cha doooooin'?"

Her face pales. "Sh-sh-shopping!"

"Sh-sh-shopping?" You tilt your head, pasting a confused expression on. "Is that like regular shopping?"

"I- yes! That's what I meant!" Her eyes flick desperately to the sides, looking for escape. There is no escape. There is only justice. And candy.

"What'cha shopping foooooor~?"

"S- stuff! What's it to you, anyway? Jerk!" She forces herself straight, panic turning to a scowl. "You accusing me of something?! Huh?!"

>Should I be?
>Yeah.
>Shouldn't you be in school? You're like... ten. Maybe eight.
>Other?
>>
>>3809473
>Shouldn't you be in school? You're like... ten. Maybe eight.

Stay in school kids, don't do devil fruits
>>
>>3809473
>>Should I be?
>>
>>3809473
>Should I be?
>>
>>3809473
>Should I be?
>>
>>3809473
>Should I be?
>>
>this is your brain on froots

You consider this wise question. "Should I be?"

"No! You should be going after real criminals!" She folds her arms, clearly in her element now she gets to tell off a Marine. "In fact, you should be going after pirates! You're not the police! Why are you just hanging around town, huh?!"

You hold up your bags of clothes, books and salt. "Shopping. It's like sh-sh-shopping, but with less stealing people's wallets."

The punk brat's (oh Seasus, you feel like Smoboss) face flares red. "... I - I never stole anything!"

>Uh-huh. Look, I got other, way cooler stuff to do, so how about you run along and don't dip your hands in other people's stuff, huh?
>Shooould I discuss that with your parents?
>Well, keep it that way. The punishment for theft is a billion years in prison. And death. And worse - you'll be expelled.
>Other?
>>
>>3809516
>Other?
>Are you hungry kid?
>>
>>3809516
how does she look? like does she look like she doesnt get enough food? or her clothes torn? is she clearly a homeless orphan?
>>
>>3809516
>>3809519
>>Other?
Let's get her some ice cream.
>>
>>3809516
seniraM eht nioJ

>>3809524
Support
>>
>>3809519
>>3809524
Support.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>3809522
She looks okay. Not great clothes, but clean and fairly well-worn. Lools oka for food.
Rolling for hair quality.
>>
>>3809536
>looks okay for food
BUT HER HAIR IS TERRIBLE, ARREST HER IMMEDIATELY
>>
>ice cream acquisition imminent

"Cool, cool," you say, trying to figure out what to do. You're only here for another hour or so, after all. "Speaking of cool, want some ice cream?"

She stares at you like you're some kind of lunatic. "... Creepy..."

HOW DARE SHE

You recoil with an offended squawk. "I'm being nice! You starving orphan girl!"

"I'm not starving!"

"Two outta three ain't bad!"

You glare at each other, but there's something you can, in fact, both agree on.

"..... So, ice cream or no?"

".......... Fine, whatever."

Brat. You're sure you weren't like this at her age. For a start, you weren't a girl.

>(What flavour ice cream?)
>>
>>3809553
>mint chocolate chip

The best flavor of course
>>
>>3809553
>Mint chocolate chip
It's F R E S H.
>>
>>3809553
Justice Flavoured.
>>
>>3809553
Banana in a Waffle cone
>>
>>3809553
>Rainbow Chocolate Cake Salt Caramel Explosion Waffle Dulce de Leche
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

Looks like mint choc chip wins, but I'm now heading to the work, so Flavortown will have to wait.

Rolling for sugar!
>>
>>38096094
Maybe expecting sugar in an island famous for their salt is the problem
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>3809609
>>3809618
>>
>>3809609
i guess they aren't know for their sugar only for their salt
>>
>>3809640
Salty ice cream is still good, just a different taste
>>
>>3809893
that be soe kingdom hearts shit
>>
>>3809893
>>3809911
It sure is.
>>3809553
Voting to get some seasalt ice cream, it's not like we are going to find it anywhere else considering this is the only place with salt fetishists.
Unless we find an island in perpetual twilight.
>>
>>3809553
>>3809925
Supporting seasalt ice cream.
>>
god her hair is awefull
>>
>>3809553
Supporting this support
>>3809943
>>
What the fuck is wrong with you people.
>>
>>3810463
you're gonna have to be more specific. that is a very broad question with a near infinite amount of answers.
>>
>>3810463
What do you mean "you people"? Oh I get it, you hate law abiding citizens and voices in a lonely marine-boy's head. Fucking racist.
>>
We can't let this girl go until we make sure her hair is at least 89/100. Even if we have to conscript her to the marines with us too.

The first step to be like Smodad is to get our own brat.
>>
>>3810839
The second is to stop setting yourself on fire any time you smoke.

>this is the most disgusting traumatising post I've ever written. please be warned. do NOT read unless you're over 18. and can read.

The good news is that it doesn't take you all that long to find a nice little cafe that serves ice cream. The bad news is that it's massively expensive, which you find out the terrifying reason for.

Due to certain disagreement over trade with nearby islands, sugar has been hideously expensive for the last few years, and almost everything sweet on the island is made from artificial sweeteners, or (similar to Skypiea) the few fruits that grow here.

You nearly pass out in horror when you realize how many sweeteners give been ingesting instead of sweet (literally), sweet sugar.

"There, there," says the girl, voice dull as she pats your back. "There, there. Are yu going to buy my ice cream now?"

"A-at least the sugar in these are real..." you sob, managing to point out scoops of mint choc chip and sea-salt for yourself. The girl picks bubblegum and pistachio, two great tastes that don't go great together.

"Sugar..." you whisper, gazing in rapturous reunion with the blessed substance in your sundae dish.

"You need professional help," says the girl, who clearly needs professional help of her own for her tastebuds.

>Yes. But enough about me, what's up with you?
>Like a professional... pickpocket? HINT HINT.
>(Clutch your ice cream closer to you and hiss at her.)
>Other?
>>
>>3811312
>Yes. But enough about me, what's up with you?
>>
>>3811312
>(Clutch your ice cream closer to you and hiss at her.)
>>
>>3811312

>Yes. But enough about me, what's up with you?

I was tempted by pick the 2nd option just to make it a 3 way tie, but meh
>>
>>3811317
Support
>>
>>3811312
>Yes. But enough about me, what's up with you?
>>
>s u g a r

"Yes," you agree. "But enough about me, what about you?"

She scowls at you, a tricky thing to do when gifted with the blessed taste of ice cream. "What's it to you?"

"As a Marine, the wellbeing of every citizen is my greatest concern. Also, I wanted an excuse to eat ice cream."

She shrugs, sullenly. "Stuff's fine, whatever."

Wow. It's like hammering at a brick wall. "Uh-huh. So let's be straight, here." You swallow a mouthful of delicious nectar of the gods. "You were totally planning on stealing from that guy. I know it. You know it. The myriad, ever-watchful eyes of interdimensional monsters before our ken know it -"

"What?"

"- so what I wanna know is, why? Did you need the money? Did you just want the money for funsies? Is the money unimportant and you just like the thrill of stealing things? Educate me in your ways, bad-hair girl."

>Roll 1d100, best of 3 to touch her heart with your eloquent and impassioned speech (and ice cream)

New thread... soonish.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>3811415
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>3811415
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>3811415
>>
>>3811420
Heart Status: Touched
>>
>>3811420
Well this is a first. Can you guys tell me if theres somthing you guys are saving up to? If not can I request that we somehow send bad har girl to Sabo thinking he will teach her the super spy stuff... Even if we know he will do somthing way difrent. I just think giving him a follover/aprentice would be neat.
>>
>>3811420
THE PURE SUGAR OF THE ICE-CREAM SAVES THE DAY

I was gonna do a couple more updates here, but screw it, I'll do next one in the new thread. Back soonish.
>>
>>3811428
I think we should wait before making a decision like that. We don't know anything about this girl.
>>
>>3811415
We need to find out what her real name is so we can promptly forget it and call her Bedhead for all eternity.
>>
>>3811428
nothing we saving to that am aware off, though you might wanna get yourself a trip so your name can be added to teh critholder list
>>
Been a while since I needed to update the paste
>>
Archived, new thread here!

>>3811549

Really looking forward to Ennies Lobby!



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