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/qst/ - Quests

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As the day before the 1st World Martial Arts Tournament arrives things started picking up the pace quite a bit.
The peace talks amongst the world leaders ceased and they've been surprisingly dodgy about the subject.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out they've been deliberately avoiding talking about things, but only an insider such as yourself can make an accurate guess...

The first possibility is the more benign one. It's very much likely that the various leaders were given a list of strict rules which they must abide by. Meeting the Saiyans demands like that would definitely make them look bad at best, and might mean they loose their position at worst, as forming a world government might be on the table.
The other however... might be bad.

It's entirely likely that they still believe this is a talk between equal parties, which couldn't be further from the truth. So now they are waiting for the tournament to actually see how the strength of the saiyans compares to theirs, since Cabba being a special "final contestant" is public knowledge.
If they are actually that dumb however... you'll just need to open their eyes a bit.

The Saiyans however couldn't be happier with how things are going, since the end of the peace talks means they are given a much longer leash and can roam around a bit more freely.
There've been several instances of Saiynas giving amusing but disastrous interviews to eager news networks, and plenty of average joes managed to actually socialize with an alien privately.

Currently their public image is somewhat of a cross between indigenous people crossed between the Irish. And everyone loves the Irish.
Jokes aside, overall reactions seem to be positive amongst the general populous and all but the most fringe groups seem to dislike their new amazon/barbarian friends.

Waking up from another well deserved sleep, you rub your eyes clean and shrivel up like an old chode in the winter as you imagine what's ahead of you.
Tensions between your sister and Princess Azuki have been on a rise ever since the start.
At first you thought it to be funny... but now that you're swept up in the shit you stirred it's no longer as amusing.
You think that things will reach critical mass way before the tournament... but if you're unlucky they might drag it out until after for an explosive finish.

You really don't feel like dealing with that right now, so you immediately look for alternatives.
There are your friends and family that you gotta bring over... as well as checking out the finished arena itself. You partook in its creation after all. Would be nice to check out the complete thing.

>I did this. Might as well see it through till the end
>Time to gather the groupies
>Visit the stadium
>Time to gather the groupies
>I did this. Might as well see it through till the end
>And everyone loves the Irish
Except the British, but nobody cares about the British.
>Time to gather the groupies
Are we gonna meet the rest of Eric's family?
Family as in, aliens
>Time to gather the groupies
Elaine and azuki are big girls, they can work it out themselves

And if they don't we can always just step in and spank them for misbehaving and make them apologize like the kindergarteners they are
Time to grab the frens

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"Well... it's better to do it sooner than later..."
After performing your morning routine, you headed home to grab everyone.
You need to prepare for tomorrow and that includes bringing them over.

Stepping through one of your portals, you land on your home planet to witness the entire gang gathered up... with a few extras.
Caulifla and Kale already prepared a big backpack of food and they greet you with a wide grin.
"Hey Eric! It's fighting time!"

"You were... just standing around?
For how long?!"

"Eh... couple days."

"I told you when the tournament happens!"

"Yeah but we forgot."

"I tried telling them."
Hit informed you.
"But they are surprisingly persistent in their ignorance."

"Oh... you made time for it too?"

"Of course.
I'm interested to see what you cooked up this time."

And of course... the surprise.
"Hey D!"

"S-Sala? You too?"

"Of course."
She pouts.
"It felt really bad when you didn't invite me you know!
But no matter. I just invited myself."

"I... didn't think you'd be interested."

"It's better than nothing."
She says.

"Okaaaay. Didn't expect that.
Erm... I brought clothes for y'all."
Taking the neatly folded up clothes, you toss the three out to those you prepared them for.
"A hoodie and pants for Caulifla and Kale... And a jacket and jeans for Hit.
Sorry Sala, if I've known you're interested I'd have brought something."

"Oh, that's so touching.
With a wave of her hand her skin and her eyes change color and her tail disappears so she'd fit in with humans.
"I think I need that the least."

"Why do we need these?"
Caulifla asks.

"Haven't you been paying attention?!
You have internet access!"

"I was busy looking at memes..."

You shed a tear of joy and whisper under your breath.
"I love you..."
>"I was busy looking at memes..."
We taught her well.
"Anyway... I have the Saiyan Royal family and some of their guard on Earth-"


"No Caulifla! Promise you'll be good!

"HEY! Why just me?
Why not Kale?!"

"You know why..."

"Heh yea I do!"

"Anyway, just keep calm and don't cause much trouble.
Sit back, relax and enjoy the show. Leave those stuffy nobles to me.
This is important to me... Please?"

"Yeah yeah-"
Caulifla reluctantly agrees as she literally starts changing her outfit in front of everyone.
Happy with that, you pat her head and ruffle her hair a little.

"Thanks. I'll give you a gift in turn.
Sound good?"

"Ooooh, I like gifts!"

But while this conversation is going Hit just stares at the civilian clothings you gave him and frowns.
"Are you certain this will be enough to hide me?"

"As long as nobody comes too close to you they'll think it's some sort of face paint."

"Your people do that?
I've never seen YOU wearing any facial markings-"

"They are not every day occurrences.
But they are plentiful on sport events for some reason. It appeases our primal side I think.
Never saw the appeal though. Your face gets sticky and rigid and... ugh.
Anyway, I got things thoroughly worked out. Had a special room constructed with a secret tunnel leading there just for you guys. If we do this carefully we'll be fine."

"Hmmm... Looks like you thought of everything."

"Yeah. I really wanted this to work out.
Buuuut I also may have had a few crack ideas in the process.
We'll see."

"This... does not bode well."

Leading the guys back to your old flat, you told them to feel at home and went to wake the kids.
All three of them came rushing out, still in their human disguises.
"I didn't know you could do that-"
Hit observed.

"It's our tactical camouflage meant to infiltrate civilizations.
Surprisingly even Lyn has one. We guess it's the only system they thought would benefit her.
To... fit in."

You shout.
"Now... I prepared beds for each of you. They are not the best but they should suffice for one day.
Things don't really start until tomorrow... But that doesn't mean we can't do anything until then!"

"What did you have in mind?"

>Caulifla, I got something to show you
>We can check out the arena itself, I'll show you the secret tunnels
>We could go and have some fun while we wait
>We could go and have some fun while we wait
>Tour the city for the day, see if we can't get everybody some souvenirs
I wonder what Hit would even want...
>We can check out the arena itself, I'll show you the secret tunnels
>Caulifla, I got something to show you
Time to meet your brother!
>Caulifla, I got something to show you
>Caulifla, I got something to show you
Well erm...
Guess it's time for the brother-in-law
You look over to the three Tuffles and ask them for some aid.
"Hey kids, go take Hit and Sala somewhere fun. Maybe get them some souvenirs.
But make sure you stay out of sight. Don't want an "alien incident" happening."

"What do we get out of it?"

You frown.
"Okay Kamin... here's fifty bucks.
You can go and get some ice cream along the way."


"As for the two of you..."
You return to Caulifla and Kale, since they both seem to have a history with Renso.
"We are going somewhere special!"

"Don't you think it's inappropriate to go on a date this time?"

"I-I wouldn't mind..."

"Oh we're not going on a date.
But I have no doubt that you'll enjoy this regardless."


Leaving the building you walk side by side with the two of them while making a phone call and notifying the man about the situation.
"Yeah. We're on our way...
That place? Good. Meet you there."

"Who's that?"

"Oh nobody.
Just arranging stuff."

"I don't like it when you got that smug look on your face.
Makes your scheming very apparent."

"Come now, you love my schemes."

"Not all the time!"

"I-I do!"

"Thanks Kale!"
Heading over to the spaceship the Saiyans arrived on, you immediately get bombarded with questions from the girls.
"Oi! What is this? You wanna turn us in?!"

"Nonono! God no! This is the safest place!
With the city finally free for them to explore they never come back here! So I called the guy to disable the security cameras. It's the perfect place for this!"


Cauliflas nervousness was plainly visible, she started covering herself and you felt a deep heat rising within her as she nestled closer to you.
Boy does she HATE these fuckers. Or fears them...
But that doesn't matter now. She'll forgive you. At least you hope.

Pressing a button on the console next to the entrance you announce your arrival.
"We're here."
No response comes on the communicator but the automatic door slides open right before you.
"Let's go."

The second you step in Caulifla shifts from nervous and becomes ready to attack.
And at the same time Kale begins to hug you tightly as she's overcome a familiar but quite unpleasant case of Déjà vu.
But... But... All their worries seem to wash away like nothing once you open the door to the storage room where a familiar face greets them.

Kale rushes forward and leaps into the big mans arms.

"OOOOOHOHOOO! You've grown quite a lot since the last time I saw you Kale!
Just look at you! Practically a full grown Saiyan woman already!
But to me you'll always be that cute as a button little pipsqueak!"

"B-Big bro?"
Caulifla meanwhile just stares at him awkwardly, not budging an inch.
Slowly she turns around and looks up at you with watery eyes.
"You... did this?"

>What are you waiting for? Go to him
>I had help
>>What are you waiting for? Go to him
>>What are you waiting for? Go to him
>What are you waiting for? Go to him

>What are you waiting for? Go to him
Can't help it.
My heart is like a pretty little diamond.
Cold. Dead. And its value artificially inflated by Luxemburgish cartels
Don't forget that if a small African child was caught with one in their pocket, they'd be beaten to death.
What a precious gem it is.
>"I didn't know he'd be coming with the delegates, but I wasn't gonna pass up the chance once I realized he was here. Now..."
>What are you waiting for? Go to him!
...actually, wait, Now I don't remember. DID we know? Like, did Cabba get in touch with Renso for us and I'm just retarded?
Yeah, you didn't know.
Cabba called him and Renso told you this

Anyway, I see this as pretty clear cut

"I didn't... Cabba did."


"I didn't know he was coming. Cabba just called him.
But when I found out I knew what I had to do. I couldn't pass up the chance.
So... come on! Go to him!"

Slowly turning around she hesitates for a moment before taking off... literally.
Flying at near top speed she tackles her brother and knocks him on the ground with her big hug.

Hitting the ground hard, Cauliflas brother starts wincing a bit.
Watch the leg!"

Caulifla looks down and sees a massive scar adorning her brothers right leg.
"What happened to you?"

"I retired!
But never mind that!
I finally got my little sister back!
Oh how I missed you! How have you been?"

But the magic of the moment quickly fades as Caulifla is reminded of all the things that happened to her.
"You left me... you left me all alone!
They wanted to sell off Kale! Mom and dad were thinking about doing the same to me!"

"I'm... sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there for the two of you when you needed me the most.
But you know why I joined the Force. I was waiting for the day when I could serve together with the both of you, side by side... like family.
But then everything happened... You got exiled and I *sigh* I got this to show.
I know it sucks... But I'm still glad to see you two happy."

Rubbing her eyes Caulifla stands up and aids her wounded brother back to his chair.
The three of them now calmed down finally begin calmly talking things through.
"So... how are you? I hope that tournament wasn't too bad."

"Oh it was AWESOME!
I improved lots and saw lots of strong dudes and- OH!
That's right Kale! Let's show Renso what we learned!"

"Right Sis!"

Taking a few steps back the girls stand side by side and after a brief moment of concentration they transform into their super saiyan states with a shout.
Their gold and green auras glow brightly in Rensos eye as he sizes them up and rapidly starts clapping.
"AWESOME!!! Looks like you managed to copy Cabbas trick!"

"Heh. Copy?
We did more than that!"
Caulifla responds and slaps Kales arm.
"See this?"

"Solid muscle!"

"That I see.
Man... I don't know what to feel? Shame or pride about my little sister being stronger than me?
And you Kale... Wow. You really lived up to all our expectations AND MORE!"
His reaction to the tails will be hilarious.
But as Renso finds himself observing this fascinating transformation, he occasionally gives you cautious glances and finds you ogling the ass of the girls involuntarily.

"I wonder if they change color as well..."
You mutter as you stare at the erm "bulge" of the girls.

Clearly distraught by this and loosing sanity at a rapid pace, Renso turns to the girls and starts nervously chuckling.
"Heh... hehe...
And how does your new boyfriend take this form?"

"W-Whatddaya mean big bro?"

"Well... Aren't you two- er, three together?"

"We are.

Now sweating profusely Renso is shaking quite a bit so you decide to throw a bone to him.
"I helped them train it!
It's not that big a deal."

"By the ancestors..."

Kale then raises her hand to her chin nervously.
"R-Renso? How do you know Eric and us-"

"H-He told me!"
Caulifla then twitches a lit and scoffs at this.
He told me! Hit him! Not the cripple!"

Turning around on her heel Caulifla stomps in your direction and grabs you by the waist.
"Come here you!"
She plants a kiss on your lips briefly before bringing you back to Kale so the three of you can talk to Renso at once.
"Proof enough for you?"

"N-Not fair sis!"

"King Sadalas balls it's true!
HAHAAA! Oh this is great! I've never even heard of another race being capable of handling Saiyan women! Let alone a weak one like him!"

"Erm... Not to burst your bubble bro but Eric helped both of us train our transformation up to this level."

Trying to suppress his laughter Renso slowly burts out like J. Jonah Jameson and slaps his knee.
"Oh... that's great! Just wait 'till ma and pa hear of this!
I don't know whether they'll be furious or impressed!"

"A-Are we in trouble?"

"No Kale... I don't think anyone could be trouble for you anymore!"
Well... this seems to have gone better than expected.
But there is also that one... slight.. problem.

>Pull of the girls pants (just a little)
>I don't... know how that works. Do I have to beat up your parents now or?
>Pull of the girls pants (just a little)
>Pull of the girls pants (just a little)
>Pull of the girls pants (just a little)
>We also lerned how to reawaken some of kind old or recesive transformation or somthing hiden in your speacies DNA. Gives deacent boost not anywere near going blond but its a thing... Too limited un usefullnes curently tho needs fullmoon and its uncontrolable for now.
>>Pull of the girls pants (just a little)
Okay. I'll get to
But I might only be able to churn out 1 update before I leave from work
"We uh... We also found this."
You spin around Caulifla and hear a little protest from her.

"HEY! What are ya-

Grabbing her pants you pull them down a bit to expose the small area above her butt and as you do so her tail pops free and starts wagging around freely.
"What in the god damn-"

"Oooooh gold!
A-Anyway, it's tails.
Turns out you have vestigial ones."

"But we uh... we gotta search for them."

"Press it in the right spot with enough force and "Pop" it comes out."


Renso leans in and begins observing the new extremity of his sister.
Meanwhile you feel a small tap on your shoulder and you look up.
"Erm... E-Eric-"

"Okay Kale."
You extend your hand and open your palm, waiting for the thing to plop into it.


A green tail swings around and wraps around your hand.
While still holding onto it, you gently start rubbing it with your thumb.
"It's also quite dangerous. I don't know how or why but if you have a tail and see a full moon, a Saiyan will transform into a gigantic monster."

How odd... I admit I never paid much attention to history classes but we have no records of Saiyans ever having tails... or transforming like you said."

"It happened. Giant monkey.
Quite a significant power boost too... but wildly uncontrollable, slow and dumb.
I don't know if you could remain sane during it... However-"
You raise a finger.
"I think it might be linked somehow to this Super Saiyan stuff..."

"How come?"

"I'm not sure myself. It's mostly just a guess. But these are the two things that are REALLY apparently different about our two species."

"Y'know there's a real easy way of finding out whether or not they are linked in some way."


"Just use two at the same time-"

Nononononono! Not a good idea!"

"That bad?"

"You have no god damned idea.
The Super Saiyan form seems to be deeply connected to emotion. It stems from emotion, it amplifies emotion.
Couple that with the highly savage, animalistic rage the Giant Monkey form brings and you got yourself a recipe for disaster."

"Yes but consider the following:
It'd be funner."

It's at these times that you start getting scared about being around Saiyans too much.
Because damn it, that sounds one heck of a good time... for a minute, then it'd be hell.
And now I'll take my leave.
Gotta pack my stuff and run the fuck away.
Be right back
YOSHA! I'm back!
You shake your head.
"No. I'm not quite suicidal enough for that...
At least, not until we iron out the other quirks first."


"Caulifla? Care to do a demonstration?"

"With pleasure!"
Taking a step back she shoots down her head and begins grunting and groaning loudly as she focuses.
Her ki signature slowly disappears and her aura retracts where it belongs.

Renso simply scratches his head as he struggles to make heads or tails of this.
"I don't get it."

"I'm trying to control this bro.
So that I can stay in it forever without draining me."

"Whoa! You mean you could use that crazy power ALL THE TIME?!"

And once I can, I'll move onto 2."
Again, an expression of utter confusion settles on your brother-in-laws face.
Caulifla just shakes her head at this.
"There is a level beyond this! We can transform even further! Two, three or four more times!"

"So... why don't you?"

Giving you a glance Caulifla responds to her brother.
"Because a certain dummy taught me how to use my power properly.
Last time we... we went full stupid."

"The power it-"
Kale continues.
"It was too much. It got to our head. We ended up hurting ourselves without achieving anything.
So now we want to take it slowly and master it."

"Ah! I see.
Well, don't let me keep you from fulfilling your destiny.
But just know that I'm very proud of the both of you! Even if the rest don't think so, you truly are some of the greatest we have."

Who cares about those bozos anyway?
Me and Kale got a perfect lil' gig! We work for the GoD and get away with anything we want!
No more petty gangs, no more ma and pa, but most importantly no more Sadala! Who needs it anyway?"

>I do. (Tell them about your wish)
>Stay silent
>>Stay silent
>Stay silent
we should wait till things are already moving
>Stay silent
We're all in agreement

You think about telling them about your intentions with that wish King Sadala would grant you but you decide to leave it a surprise.
For starters it's highly unlikely but not impossible that you won't win. Second, it's better to break this to them once things are on their way.
So you decide to keep your mouth shut for now.

Renso raises his voice.
"Do not speak like that!
You were clearly wronged but that's no reason to judge everyone on Sadala!
Most people only bear ill will towards you because you earned it!"

"Pffft... Like hell I did!
They are the reason we got into this situation in the first place!
Them and their entire culture! So what if I went rogue huh?!
What was I supposed to do? Sit still and take it while the others had their way?"

"Yes! That is the right thing to do!
You could've earned the sympathy of others! Instead you earned their animosity!"

"Sympathy doesn't do anything brother!
I would've been pitied but in the end they would've sold us off like pieces of meat!
I say it's better this way! I broke the law! But at least I had my justice!"


"Sorry... I just-
I had that on my mind for a while now.
We cool big brother?"

"With you? Always."

Aww. That's oddly charming in a really messed up, Saiyan way.
Makes you think of... home. Shit. Better change that train of thought quick.
Turning around you look up at Kale.

"Do you have a brother like this?"

"M-Me? No..."
She presses her two index fingers together.
"But Renso always treated me like a sister. So that's nice."

"Are you okay? Hey... don't look so gloomy.
I'm here for you now. C'mere big girl!"
Not letting go of her tail, you open up your other arm and pull in the big saiyan for a hug.
You can feel Kales skin on your own as she brushes her cheek against your shoulder.

"I know."
Then she lowers her voice a little so the others can't hear her.
"Hey Eric-"


"Do you... think of your little sister like that?"

"I guess I do.
But sometimes she's really a pain."

"Am I a pain as well?"
Wow. Every time, you're surprised by just how starved for love she is. With parents like the ones Renso told you about and no real siblings to speak of. Sure she had Renso and Caulifla to look after her but with how insecure she is, poor Kale probably felt like a third wheel all the time.
She's feels like a dry sponge craving water.

"You? No.
Never. You're a good girl Kale."
But as you're cuddling the big girl, you start to realize that right now, you are the third wheel.
Well... fourth, which would make this a car but it's clearly meant to be a tricycle.
So unless you come up with a clever topic to actively participate in the conversation you'll-

"By the way Caulifla.
Since I'm not selling too hot on the market right now and you're content being an outcast, I guess I'll tell ma and pa to give up on the family lineage."
Renso then begins to chuckle.
"It's not like the two of you could even make children! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Actually, we totally can-"
She replies and you loose your shit.


"What? It's true!"

"C-Come again?"

"That Tournament you so bravely skipped out on.
We met other Saiyans from another universe. They managed to crossbreed with humans.
Had fully functioning children too. It was kinda weird."

Now's DEFINITELY the time to leave because Renso is already giving you some weird looks.

>Stay reluctantly
>>Okay, this is a talk for waaaaaaaaaaaay in the future, bye! *Portal back to your earth apartment*.
>Stay reluctantly
>Stay reluctantly
>Stay reluctantly
Say the Dio line goddamnit
Disappearing like a black man when the pregnancy test comes out positive
"Okay, I heard enough-"
Swinging your arms to the side you shout.


"One second has passed-
No! Fuck that! I gotta get the fuck out of here!"

Not wasting your other precious second, you rush the hell out of there, leaving two slightly upset girls and one massively confused Renso in there.
"Wha- Where did he-"

"Damn it. He stopped time again!
You can't escape every conversation you don't like with Time Stops ERIC!"
But you can. And it's awesome.

"He's good..."
Renso admits as he realizes what you did.

Meanwhile, you're panting outside the ship, leaning on your knees for support while a chibi Buu head circles around you.
It's a test system which should give him much more freedom, if he can behave.
Panting you raise a hand to gently rub his chin as he purrs.
"Good job Buu. You saved my hide again.
Ara... The fuck is this?"
You look to the side when Buu suddenly starts nudging you in a direction.
There you spot... a guy, leaning against one of the spaceships legs.
"The fuck are you doing here?"

"Erm... I'm standing here.
What are YOU doing here?!"

"This is a military exclusion zone asshole! I'm authorized to be in here!
You however will get either shot or imprisoned! So stop being cheeky!"

The masked man points forward at a phone sit next to a stone.
"I just wanted to take a picture.
That's all."

"You know you're playing with your life doing that! Right?"

"I know.
Either I fail and suicide by cop or become a legend.
That's a win-win for me."

"Heh. Not bad.
Okay... how did you get past the guards?"

"Aliens aren't here anymore. Soldiers are needed elsewhere to pay attention to them.
So I just waited until some of them went on a break and climbed over the fence."

"I'm almost impressed, if not with your balls then your skills.
You walk up to the rock against which the guys phone was leaning and aim it at him.
"I'll let you have this one. Now strike a pose!"
>Floating Chibi Buu Head
That is both creepy and completely adorable. I approve.
After snapping a picture of the guy, you hand him back his phone.
"Yooo thanks man! Looks great.
Uuuuh... I suppose I couldn't ask for a lift out of here?"

"Only if you don't make it a habit."

"Heh. That I can agree to."

Picking up the guy, you casually fly him out of the fenced off area and set him off.
Looking a bit taken back by the fact that he was literally flying a second ago he takes a moment to recover.
"Damn... That's a cool trick!"


"Hey man erm... I know you kinda helped me out a bit there but could I ask something from you?"
You shoot him an odd look over your mask and prompt him to finally say his request.
"C-Could I bother you with an interview? You're really cool and all! And a lot of people really want to know more about you!"

"Sorry pal. I don't do interviews.
No matter which press you work for."

"You're mistaken!
I'm not a reporter or anything like that!"
He raises his phone.
"Just a little Q&A with a video recording! So I can put it on the net!"

"Where... exactly?"

"The uh... the internet."
He looks really hesitant to answer that.

>What the heck, I'll do it
>Sorry. Still no
>What the heck, I'll do it
>What the heck, I'll do it
Sorry, still no.
Remember a secret identity it's called secret for a reason.
>Sorry. Still no

Q&A maybe. But no video or audio.
>>Sorry. Still no
>What the heck, I'll do it
Only if we limit it to a the Q&A and a picture instead of a video. Also, if we agree we should be very careful about what we can and can't talk
>What the heck, I'll do it
>But no identifying details, I kinda like being somewhat anonymous.
>Do you need me to do a timestamp or...?
>What the heck, I'll do it

I have no idea why we're anonymous anyways

Our sister is world famous for banging a monkey and we never spend time on earth unless it's just to show someone else or help those suckers establish themselves in the universe

We're not some kind of superhero or anything
Well well well
Looks like we're... crashing this plan
Eric has parents and he wants shield them from the media and crazy fans.
We litterally saved the entire planet from being the start of Frosts new interstellar empire and are the strongest native being by any concievable metric. Once our ID is out, our every single relation will be put on a watch list, along with every single friend we've ever had, our former bosses and people we've walked past on the street will be grilled for any and all information they can get on us, because Eric is a being capable of blowing up the world, he's the undisputed Emperor Of Planet Big Dick, and any nation that can influence him or those he cares for can influence the entire world.

We were keeping our real name and face hidden for a Damn Good Reason.
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You think about it for a while.
"You want me to hold up a time-stamp or something?"

"Yeah yeah! That's it! Y'know! So I can prove it's really you!"

"Okay. Hold on-"
Borrowing a slip of paper and a pen from him, you write down the current time and show it to him.
"Will this suffice?"

"Yeah! Perfect!
Now all we-"

"Wait. I did not agree yet.
I have two conditions. One, my face is not show and two-"
You poke your neck, underneath your voice box. With a little bit of magic you can alter the weight of the air as it passes through so it produces a much deeper voice.
"And I'll do this. I also reserve the right to not answer any question I please."

"That's so cool! How did you do it?"


"Fucking hell!
Okay dude! I respect your anonymity of course but... then people won't believe me-"

Extending your hand you create a ball of light in your palm.
"Think this will suffice?"

"Yes! Perfect!
Okay... Now we gotta stand somewhere where there's enough light and, there we go. Stream is starting."
The guy presses the record button and begins.
"Let's keep this simple. Are you, the Chad?"

"Is that what I'm called now?"

"W-Well, you're called many things.
Care to show a little demonstration?"

You both showcase your ability as well as the time-stamp for the camera.

"Excellent. I think that's good enough.
Erm... First actual topic-"
He clears his throat and takes a few moments of preparation to make sure he doesn't laugh during this.
"You've certainly become a big guy."

You are taken back by this and blink in disbelief a few times before responding.
"For you. But nobody cared who I was before I put on the mask."

"No way... No FUCKING WAY! It's actually true!
Was getting caught part of your plan?"

"Of course!"
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>the FBI monitor's face when we just start doing the bit
Oh lord I can only imagine what the Kremlin and the CCP are gonna think of this.
>Oh god
>How are we going to explain to our crusty CO's what Baneposting is? How will we asses it on the danger scale?
>How do we break the info to our superiors that the most dangerous man is a manchild that browses Mongolian Throat Singing Forums?
I was thinking more along the lines of
"Can you tell us anything about your green wife?"

"I didn't realize even that leaked...
But it's not an accurate descriptor, also, no."

"If you pull off her tail would she die?"

"It'd be extremely painful. I'd get the shit kicked out of me.
Lot of love and care went into growing that."

"Is it like lizards?
They just grow back?"

"No comment. But no."

"Can you at least confirm if you have alien gf's or not?"

"Since you seem to be already aware of it, yes. But I won't say much more than that, I hope you understand."
You cross your arms and assume a power stance to assert your dominance.

"Okay, which one?"

"Which ones you know about?"

"The two black and the one green."

We're workin out the logistics at the moment. It's really in its infancy."

"Who are the two kids with you?
Many theories circulate that they are also aliens."

"They are.
The older two I adopted after fucking their planet, both figuratively and on some level literally.
The smallest is the result of said copulation."

"A... planet."

"A. Fucking. Planet.
I mind melded with it, left uh... quite an impression.
Then they used my DNA to make her. She is... Not half human but there is a percentage there. But I'd call her a new subspecies. I still love all of them with all my heart. And if anybody claims otherwise I'll fucking kill them on the spot."

"Okaaay, next question before we get banned.
Though- *gulp* -holy shit. We already hit record numbers...
Um, let's continue! How have you met C-"

"Don't say the name."

"Sorry. The Queen!"

"No comment."

"I erm... I'm kinda running out of ideas.
I admit I never expected I'd be here. Let's see what the chat wants to ask-
Monkey-puss asks, I'm going to sell inter-species Doujinshi and assorted merchandise at the tournament. How do they get their tails? I need it for reference."

"No comment. Not public information.
And if you ask any Saiyan they won't know what you're talking about.
Also, please keep your Onaholes away from the Saiyans. If you piss them off they can wipe us out."

"Alienfeetlover asks, how do they smell?"

"As much of a beta most of you are, I imagine you smelled girls before.
Well forget that. They don't use perfume or any sort of make-up. At most they use soap and unscented shampoo. That's it.
So they have their natural smell all the time, which becomes strong as pheromones when they are working out. And I won't go into any more details than that."

"TheSaiyansNigger wants to know if it's worth watching the tournament or if it'll be a pointless waste of time?"

"Definitely watch. You'll be surprised.
I alone made some arrangements so things stay interested from start to finish.
And you don't want to miss the big finals."
>Earths greatest warrior and chef goes on a uniplanetary communication system's vertical gardening forum
Bro we gotta make a teaser about Bruce before we go.
Just sneak a quote in there.
"And... wow. I think we should call it quits soon. Twitch is breaking.
Er, this one doesn't come from any single person. Pretty much everyone is posting it aside monkey-pepe...
How do you get a Saiyan gf?"

You let out a hearty chuckle.
"You guys don't know what you're talking about-"


"Yes but did you ever think about what that means?
I assure you, a crushed pelvis is not fun."

"Speaking from experience?"

"No. From common sense.
But I'll say this. If you actually have the balls to try....
Just go up to one and chat with them. That's it. That's all there is to it. Starting."

"What, are they all roasties or-"

And I'll tell this only once.
Go there, say hi, introduce yourself, ask their name and try small talk.
Things should proceed naturally from there."

"Dude... You do realize this is the most chad answer you could give!
That's not an answer but general advice! And one that will help nobody!"

"If you doubt it then maybe you should try it.
Then come back and tell me how it went."
You reach for his phone.
"I believe we are done here..."

"Phew. Thanks man!
I'm sure /ayy/ will have a field day with this!
This'll be enough fuel for at least a month of fresh, daily memes."

"It was my pleasure."
"So... now that we're off camera-
D-Do you mean that?"

"Of course.
I didn't know what the hell I was doing.
But I opened my big dumb mouth, said the truth and ended up here.
And remember: Defeat is a state of mind. No one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as reality!"
Turning around you wave the guy off.
"Ciao! And tune in tomorrow! You'll want to watch it live!"

Quickly returning to his phone the guy turned it back on and unsurprisingly found the large crowd still going ballistic in there.
"Guys! Our man just told me something amazing! It was so moving, so deep! It was-"
And when he shared what he heard it only took the neural network a few minutes to figure out where that familiar quote came from.
Sorry about that. I only saw your post once I posted mine.
Hopefully it's fixed now.

Anyway, I hope y'all enjoyed this short little romp. But I'm starting to feel tired. So I'll call it quits here.
I don't think I can write tomorrow or the day after, so let's agree on Thursday.
See you guys then!
>a few mintues
Bitch, what is Google for 500? Took me 30s.
>a half a million autists combine to form a complex neural network capable of sourcing all but the most obscure tidbits of pop-culture
I'm so proud
First they'd need to realize it's a straight up quote, especially since the streamer anon couldn't replicate it perfectly
thanks Nega-Som, when you have some time it would be nice see the reactions of the stream
>The chad will only interview anons.
>Journalists will attempt to make the 4U joke, but fail miserably.
They really weren't joking when they told me that this Polynesian underwater breathing forum had such influence over society...
Saw the talk about children, that was funny.
Shame we left, though, would've been funnier to stick around.
I can definitely oblige.
I'll see whether or not I can find the time to do it during the night shift
Hello oMakedonalds?

Can I get uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

An order of women realizing that with superior monkeygirls available no one's gonna want em ,with a side of hoes mad and a diet coke

Let me also get uhhhhhh, the first contact between God and world leaders with extra cheese and no onions pls.
>An order of women realizing that with superior monkeygirls available no one's gonna want em ,with a side of hoes mad and a diet coke
Eh I wouldn't say THAT, sure any fans of muscular/Fit Women are gunna drop humans like a hot potato and go 100% Saiyan, but Thicc and Fat Women aren't threatened, since those types don't really exist for Saiyan Females, while the normal everyday girls are somewhat threatened, but are also somewhat safe since some guys are pussies and want a more stereotypical 'womanly' wife, rather then muscular tomboys.
Swear on your dubs you ain't fuckin' with me!
Not sure what to tell you but there ARE saiyans like that. DBS Broly movie made it canon.
There are thin, weak dudes and short, overweight ladies amongst the Saiyans. You see the former being pilots and the latter in the butcher shop where Gine worked. So they got some diversity going on and not just fit-girls on the menu
I swear on deez nuts that I'm super serious
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I swear on these nuts
I dunno, Saiyans in this universe doesn't necessarily seem required to all be muscular.
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Well I couldn't get around to doing the omakes.
My full autistic boss keeps bringing me papers one by one, telling me to "change these"... while the spazz was sitting over it five seconds ago, ready to change it himself.
So I'll have to do it today evening, after I got some sleep.

On a completely unrelated note... a thing I forgot to post the second it became relevant
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A'ight fuckers. I'm back amongst the living.
Let's do this
Ah, yes, the good ol' days after nine-eleven.
Happening thread!
Holy shit guys! Some madman actually managed to get an interview with The Chad himself!
What an absolute lad!

I know, I've been in the stream.

Wait... you actually watch those garbage /ayy/streams?
With the "theories" and that other nonsense?

They are comfy.
I just let them run in the background like a podcast.
But this time it turned out to be an absolute goldmine

What was he even doing in there?
That looked like the park where the spaceship is

Anon answered some of those questions apparently.
He was going in there Watch_Frogs style to get a picture posing next to the ship
I gotta learn how to do parkour...

Ye that's cool but have you HEARD what the Chad said?
He. Fucked. A. Planet!

I know. Captain Kirk would be proud.

Is it just me or was he shilling for the saiyans?
He seemed like he wanted us to date them super hard

And why wouldn't he?
We've been fetishizing them for a while now and for good reason!
Besides, if he says it's okay I believe him. I might even try and talk to one of them!

No you won't.
You're still a virgin
If you can't talk to regular girls there's no way you can talk to fugging aliens

I don't know anon.
Human girls seem more like roasties every day.
Let's list the things our beloved amazons don't do that garbage tier fembots do.
>None of them seem to wear make-up. Not even their royalty! They are confident in their natural looks
>They value health and physical fitness so you won't find any landwhales among them
>No need for garbage tier things like post-modern feminism. They are the equal of their men because they work for it
>Still seem to respect traditional values, like females being the central figures in households. They are the ones that birth children after all
>No emotional baggage to deal with. Something bothers them? They tell you. They want you to do something? They tell you! No need to learn how to read minds with these ones!
>Will love and cuddle with you unconditionally.
Seriously... human females are done for

Yeah. They seem to be freaking out.
Mainstream media is already shilling for human women.
*posts "It's afraid" picture*

Eh... a lot of these seem to come out of nowhere.
Where are you getting all of this?
But I still agree... This is just a Virgin Becky vs Chad Stacy situation.
One side is clearly superior
Hey faggots. I heard you've been talking about me
*posts time-stamp with face*

Streamer anon is here! Holy shit!
How are you man?

I admit I was a bit starstruck when I saw the guy waltz out of the ship.
I still am. But I hope that didn't show up in the video

Eh... It did a little bit.
But I think it added to the charm. The whole thing seemed genuine.

Hey! What was he doing in the ship anyway?!
What were YOU? Did you travel there to sneak into a restricted area and possibly get shot?

No idea. Didn't ask him.
He said he has unrestricted access to the area. I suspect he can just go in without anybody to stop him.
I snuck in to get a pic. Security's been lax lately. They are more focused on the stadium.

Wait... you've been observing the area?!

I live here.
I'm the guy from some threads ago whose dad worked on the construction.
I saw that there are less soldiers now so I took my chance.

What did you want to do with the pic?
Sell it on E-bay?

What? No.
I wanted to hang it on my wall. I don't know... I just wanted a memento I guess.

Are you still planning on going to the tournament?

In fact, after meeting Him I'm actually super excited.

Are you planning on doing another stream with him?

Only if I manage to catch him and he agrees

I wouldn't worry too much about that.
By the looks of it he seemed to reject giving interviews to large news organizations.
But he agreed to doing a bit with you. Can't believe he's actually one of us

When I started the Baneposting I was cursing in my head about how I could be so cringe!
Didn't expect the fucker to ACTUALLY go along with it!

Just checked the stream. Holy shit this is based!
It's like the elections all over again. Meme magic is now leading us into the space age!
With a fucking meme-lord being our new god emperor!

In any case, even if I can't get him to do a bit... or worse, can't get to him period I'll still try to cover the fights so you guys can enjoy it as well, without any bullshit like ads or commentary.
Might try something... potentially insane as well. Make sure to watch the catalog.
I will start a thread with a trip and a link to the stream. Wish me luck

Holy shit! What is the madman doing?

Who knows?
The only thing that's certain is that I'm definitely gonna watch it unfold!
This is gold!

Guys! Guys! GUYS!
I finally figured out what the Chad was talking about!

What do you mean?
Don't leave us hanging you tease!

OP butchered it a bit but I think it was a direct quote from Bruce Lee!
I knew it sounded similar but I just wasn't sure where from!
After fiddling around with the words a bit, it turned out it's a direct quote
What did he mean by this?

Obviously he just wanted to say something inspirational and that's the first thing that came to his mind you spaz!
What do you THINK it means? He can't resurrect the fucking dead!


Holy shit... he's right!
And that should be the end of that one.
Tomorrow we'll resume with a somewhat shorter thread.
And if things don't go to shit, continue on Friday!

I'll do the rest later
Only background hints of hoes mad?

Slightly miffed but I'll take it
You have no damn idea
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You might even say they're Fatally Furious.
I dont even play nintengoy games and even I'm miffed.
Poor Terry
>Be me, Terry Bogard
>become a regular guest character in KoF
>be infinitely more popular than the protag of said series
>eventually get associated with the likes of Ryu, Heichachi, Ken, etc...
>Hold it down for my company for over 20+ years
>My company fades from relevance for a while, goes under, comes back...
>they finally get out of their slump, start getting guest spots all over the place
>Geese gets in Tekken 7, Mai gets in DOA5, Hoahmaru gets in SC6, etc...
>we get a call from Nintendo
>Sakurai wants me in Smash
>apparently our games directly inspired his magnum opus
>get probably the best character reveal trailer in the most popular video game series right now
>go on social media after the stream
>zoomers don't even know who I am
>they start to insinuate I'm a "shit character" and a "wasted slot"
>they think some fucking puppet that was only in a single region exclusive game on the SNES deserves it more
>some indie character gets a mii costume and a song in the game
>good for him
>he immediately overshadows what little presence my announcement had on social media
>Hoes mad that I actually have a legacy worth remembering and directly contributed to Smash's existence
>mfw they'd know this if they actually played fighting games
These ignorant fucking children need to start respecting their fucking progenitor and play some goddamn fighting games.
Eh fighting games always were and will be a nieche
The sad part is that I actually played Undertale before the tumbler crowd got their hands on it. It was kinda cringe, kinda gay but still saw the amount of work and care the maker put into it.
Now it's utter shit. But even at its peak nothing in it had the same kind of cultural impact or relevance Terry has.
Fucker's been in more games than the average Nintengoys age in years
Terry Bogard deserved better than this
>Eh fighting games always were and will be a nieche
It's a shame really. The mainstream appeal of them all but died out with arcades.
Now the culture of the FGC is all but incompatible with new players.
99% of the new generation just doesn't have the interest or motivation to keep on playing after getting stomped.
Nor do they have the discipline to put in the work to play the game at even an intermediate level.
>Terry Bogard deserved better than this
Amen. I honestly can't believe how ungrateful some of the younger audience is being when it's Terry fucking Bogard.
Fucking guy has been one of the most enduring characters of the genre and he gets sandbagged for a mii costume.
Seems everyones in agreement Terry needs more recognition.

Speking of fighting found a good before Z Dragonball quest that focuses on teaching and runing dojo.


Just in case if some of you want to check it out after live. Seems neat thus far.
Well that was a fun little distraction. But it's time to move on.
You still got some things to prepare at home for the big day tomorrow.
Floating off the ground, you fly back home where you immediately start sensing some familiar energies.
One of them is Sam... Uh-oh.

Arriving back you find your former roommate fuming as he's surrounded by several aliens.
"What. The. FUCK ERIC?!"

"Sorry. Needed an HQ."

"Ugh whatever.
Hey kids, wanna play Guitar Hero again?
I promise I'll go easy on you this time!"


"Ah well.
And how about you purple man?"

"I'd appreciate if you did not bother me."

Sam visibly recoils as Hit gives him a cold stare and nervously turns to someone, ANYONE else to talk to.
"So hey um... Sala! How have ya been?"


Help me out here Eric!
I'm looking bad in front of the aliens!"

"That's nobodies fault, except yours.
Anyway, how are you feeling? Ready for the big day tomorrow?"

"I guess. Been getting no sleep for a while now. Had to stay up and study the books the angel lady gave me.
I hope tonight I can get some rest. Then I'll be ready."

"Oh? That's good to hear.
Because I got a few things in store for us.
So you better be fucking ready."

Shit like Domi?
Was that YOU?!"

"No... I was just as shocked as you are.
She apparently decided that all on her own.
So no, I got something else in store."

Can't wait to see what will mess me up tomorrow..."

"Ah come on! It's not gonna be bad!
You might even enjoy it! Come, I'll make some dinner for us.
You're free to stay with us."

"No thanks. I think I'll hit the hay early.
Get as much sleep as I can."

See ya tomorrow I guess."

"Bye everyone."


With him out of the way it's finally time to get to work.
Preparing a meal not only for today but tomorrow so you'll have some snacks ready.
But in the meantime you could go and talk to the others

>The kids
hummm, who is this sala person
you know who.

If the question is genuine, then she's a demon that helped out Eric in the Demon Realm.
In exchange she got to leave it and come to the mortal realm
She's also a bootleg Android 21
ooh yeah, we spent so much time doing other stuff that i actually forgot about her

>will immediately commit sudoku for forgetting bestdroid
Haven’t talked to her in a while. We should catch up with her and a feel for any future plans she might have.
Well Sala seemed to turn this around rather swiftly.
But don't worry Hit fans, I'll throw in a little for you as well

As you take out the pork from the fridge and begin preparing it over the counter, you try engaging the others in some small talk.
The first one is Hit who seems to be fiddling with something over at the table.
"I hope that's not a bomb you're making..."

I found this antique in a nearby shop.
Haven't seen one of these in a while. It's pretty neat."
That's a digital watch... and a really cutting edge one at that.

It's best not to bother him with the details. Judging by how enthusiastically he's fiddling with it he really likes it.
So instead you turn your attention to Sala.
"Hey. Come over here."

"Huh? Me?"
As she struts over to the counter she places her elbows on it and rests her head on her arms.
"What'cha need?"

You slice off a piece of the meat and hand it to her.
"I need a taste test. Care to help out?"

"You want to feed me raw meat?
I'm not an animal you know..."

"No, it's not that!"
You put the savory little morsel into your mouth and start chewing on it.
"It's really good, a delicacy even! And if you prepare it well there are no health risks involved.
I'm just a little biased towards my own cooking is all."

Handing her another piece, you ask her to sample it again and this time she obliges.
First giving it a curious smell she's slightly pushed back by it.
"Ew. It has a little sting to it, doesn't it?"

"I marinated it for the last two days. What you're smelling is mustard.
Don't worry, it's not poisonous.... I think. Don't know much about your biology."

Extending her unnaturally long tongue she cautiously touches it to the succulent piece of meat and recoils, hard.
"Ugh... it's... it's *cough* it tastes acrid!
Gods its even in my throat now!"
But as much as she's complaining she finds herself oddly drawn to it and gives it another small taste.
"N-No, still too much!"
She tries to put it down but by some strange compulsion tosses the whole thing in her mouth and starts rolling it around.



"Yeah, it's an acquired taste.
Some plants on our planet developed these defense mechanisms where they kinda hurt to eat...
But us being dumbasses we actually enjoyed it and started cultivating them and making them stronger."

And here I thought only you were a nutter.
Turns out that your whole race is stupid."

"Pretty much."
"We breathe a gas that slowly erodes us, recreationally drink poison and take strange delight in consuming things that want to kill us.
It's really a mystery."
You continue preparing the meat and shove it into the oven so you can cook that bastard until it can be pulled apart easily.
"And how about you? Did anyone give you any trouble?"

"Not this time.
Using a disguise is definitely the way to go."

"Don't hold it against us too much.
What you saw last time was not our best side.
Frost put everyone on edge... I'm sure that soon enough you can walk around in your normal form like it's nothing."

I'll definitely need a guide then."

"I can oblige.
Or if you want, I know a few people who'd be happy to help."

"I'll think about it.
So... what's the plan for tomorrow?"

"Not much.
Gather up the guys, invite those that I managed to convince to show up...
And then just go and beat the wind out of each other."

"Sounds like a good time."

"I thought you disliked fighting."

"I dislike participating in fights.
I'll happily watch others in a brawl."
Sala then looks over her shoulder with inhuman flexibility and chuckles.
"But if you're really serious about taking the kids there... I can't imagine it'll be too much fun."

"How come?"

"Well... don't you think it'd be a little unfair?
Pitting your weaker brethren against people much stronger than them?"

"I told them to hold back.
To only rely on martial arts and not brute force."

"Sure you did.
But do you think they'll take the fall?
Where's all the tension if at any moment they can just... flip a switch and irreversibly turn the tables?"

"What are you getting at?"

"I say... Since you already got some freakish guys to compete...
Why not go all out with the insanity? And cheat a little?"

"I'm not going to-"

"And I don't want you to.
All I'm saying is... if you ask me nicely, I can arrange so certain people would be pitted against each other."

"You can do that?"

"With some magic? Absolutely.
I'll just change who gets pitted against whom.
Y'know. For the sake of fairness."


>Not interested
>Not interested
>Not interested

For our kiddos, it’ll be about learning technique and restraint.

If they do get pitted up against someone that they’ll be able to cut loose on, then it’ll end up happening anyway.
>not interested

Humans know that messing around with fate just makes things worse for everyone

So says Hollywood
That's 3 against 2

But boy is this gonna be weird.
Because now we're at the mercy of the dice to see who's up against who
Sam Vs Bruce Lee 1st round preliminaries!
At this point? It's entirely possible.
But to make things easy, we won't be rolling for EVERYONE. Just the named contestants you brought... and the two guys I was planning on including. The rest will be background characters. It's still gonna be a fuckton of peeps in there
You think about the offer for a moment.
It COULD allow you to not completely break the tournament with all the ludicrously strong competitors you invited.
But... you'd only be delaying the inevitable. The normies won't be able to even reach the finals under any circumstances.
Unless maybe if all of you got into the same bracket.

And besides, this is meant to be educational to the kids.
So making them fight opponents they shouldn't go all out against would be ideal.
As such you decided to go: Fuck it!

"No thanks.
I'd rather do this one clean."

"Well... if you call that clean then I won't stop you."

"Nah, it's just that I think this would be better.
Because most likely we'll be spread out. So more people can experience this level we're at."

Still seems like asserting your dominance to me."

"I guess in a way it's that.
But it's not like we'll not go just because we're sure to win. That's the whole point.
And I have a sneaking suspicion our neighbors did something similar, because they lack the subtlety to pull off something like influencing the brackets.
So I guess it's okay."

"Whaaaatever makes you sleep at night, D.
I'm not judging you."

You chat away with Sala for a little while longer and she becomes really inquisitive about the people you're gonna bring.
"So... I feel that this place changed a bit since last time I was here.
Anything got to do with you D?"

"Me? Nonono! How could you assume?"

Okay. What are you planning on?
Some powerful stuff is going on here. I can feel it. I can smell it!"

"I'm gonna resurrect some long dead warriors from our past."


"Because they were trained by King Kai and I thought it'd be fun."

Shit you're really dead set on ruining this tournament, aren't you?"

>Shit you're really dead set on ruining this tournament, aren't you?"
Sala, that's entirely a matter of perspective! It might not be fair to our fellow man, but the main point is to show off our best and promote intergalactic brotherhood with a race hundreds of times more powerful than us - we gotta impress!
Its not unfair. As in any tournament stronger win besides others out ther in big bad space wont stop flexing on humans just bevause we made it fairish in this tournament. Better for more of them experience the difrence should give them bit of encouragment to improve.
Once your pork is done, you take it out of the oven and pull it apart with some help from the others, because that shit is hot and your stomachs are growling from the smell.
With the pulled-pork done, you toast some bread, apply a hefty portion of the juices the meat let out, alongside the meat itself, some slices of cheese and pickles.
Presenting everyone with a sandwich, you have a nice little dinner together.
It's a rather wholesome thing, being able to have a good time with your "family" and friends.
Once everyone is nice and stuffed, you prepare a few sandwiches from the leftovers for tomorrow and even a few for Sam and Domi when they wake up.

"Okay guys! I want everyone to get a good nights rest for tomorrow!
So mandatory curfew starts in about two hours! Make sure you all clean up and brush your teeth!
We need to look good!"

Hit meanwhile awkwardly just looks at you in his hoodie.
"E-Even me?
I'm not even parti-"



While the others go ahead and start prepping for bedtime, you withdraw and start cleaning things until the front door swings open and the relative silence breaks violently.

"Welcome back girls.
Here. Sammich."

"Oh yeah! Awesome!"

"Thank you!"

"So? How was it?
Did you guys have fun while I was gone?"

"Oh heckh yheah!
We thalkhed a whole lot!"

"It was catching up with Renso.
Thank you for arranging it!"

"No problem.
Truth be told I was planning that since I met the guy.
I thought you'd appreciate getting back together, even for a little while."

>If you had the chance... would you go back to Sadala? Just to be with him?
>Well I'm off. Got a long day ahead of myself. I suggest you guys do the same
More to the point, showing off that Humanity’s ancestors also had enough potential to be chosen by King Kai to train in the warrior afterlife is also going to score some brownie points with the Saiyans. Our current crop might not be so good aside from Eric and maybe Sam, but the genetics are present to create a pretty potent race of warriors if they put their mind to it.
>If you had the chance... would you go back to Sadala? Just to be with him?

>If you had the chance... would you go back to Sadala? Just to be with him?
>>If you had the chance... would you go back to Sadala? Just to be with him?
>If you had the chance... would you go back to Sadala? Just to be with him
Seeing the opportunity presenting itself you nervously ask them while their mind is 80% occupied by the food in their mouths.
"If you had the chance... would you go back to Sadala?
Just to be with him?"

No way!"

"S-Sis! You can't mean that!"

"I mean sure! I like my brother but screw the rest of 'em!
If I want to meet 'im I'll just arrange it so I can off world!
No reason to suck up to those pansies!"

"I thought for a second you hated your brother."
Kale sighed with relief.

"And what about you Kale?
You did not answer."

"M-Me? I... I guess.
I mean I liked Renso but-"

"Eric, if you haven't learned it already people really didn't like Kale back home!"

"Strange. I thought the whole point of you getting her out was that she was liked a bit too much..."

"That's not it you dummy!
They liked her power! She was nothing more than breeding stock for them!"
Caulifla slams her fist into the table, shaking it in its entirety.
"They cared nothing about her! Not one bit! Not even her parents!
Renso was more of a family to her than her mom and dad ever were-"

In a surprising turn of events Kale slams her hand down as well, nearly breaking the wood.
"I know... and Eric knows. There is no need to talk about it anymore.
But you shouldn't talk about them like that... they are my parents. And not like it matters now."
She then looks up with teary eyes.
"Because finally I feel like I belong somewhere!"


Walking up to her you sit down next to the scaredy little saiyan and pull her close to you.
"There there Kale. There there...
Well, I still heard what I wanted. Even if you said no, it's obvious your brother is important for the both of you Caulifla.
But I still want to make sure you have a place you can call home!"
Giving the two of them the widest, stupidest grin you start laughing with confidence.

"Ugh... do you have any idea how stupid you sound?
Like seriously..."

"I do! But that's why you like me!"

"I'm going to punch you..."

"And you know I like that!"

"That's it!
You ruined it! You ruined it and a I'm leaving."
Shoving the remainder of her food into her mouth, Cauliflas cheeks swell up like a chipmunks as she heads for the bathroom while flipping you off.
Kale giggles as you ruffle her hair a bit, letting her usual ponytail down in the process.
"Once Caulifla is done you should go too. Tomorrow is a big day and I don't want you to miss it!"

"I'll be rooting for you.
And so will sis!"

"I know I know.
Now... get going so I can have my turn."

Once the girls are done you also take your cold shower.
Staring down as the water runs down your body, you start loosing yourself in contemplation.
Eventually a small, pink little head pops out from behind your shoulder and starts looking at you inquisitively.
"Ah... nothing Buu. I was just thinking about tomorrow... The anticipation is... overwhelming."


"No. Not because of that.
I admit I'm a bit anxious. Especially because of that guy, Asulf."
You clench your fist and grin.
"A part of me is aching to fight him!"

After getting proper squeaky clean, you headed to bed and slept next to Lyn because you just know she'll sneak up on you in the middle of the night anyway. So why risk it?
The next morning however, you wake up earlier than anyone else and have the privilege of being that one asshole who wakes everyone up and you immediately regret not having a Vuvuzela on hand.
Banging on a pot you wake everyone up and begin preparing some scrambled eggs for everyone.

"Okay gang! Listen up!
I gotta tell you something right now!"
The group stops shoveling fried eggs into their mouths and looks up at you.

>I'm gonna do something weird. So stand back
>I'm gonna need you to go out ahead of me, I got some stuff to do in private. I'll catch up with you
>I'm gonna do something weird. So stand back
>I'm gonna do something weird. So stand back
>I'm gonna do something weird. So stand back
>I'm gonna do something weird. So stand back
Welp... guess we're not gonna hold back with the surprises
"Okay guys. Stay back.
Imma do something weird."
Taking a step forward, where King Kai set up the circle for you previously, you spread your arms and shout.

"That's it.
He officially lost it."

But as Caulifla grumbles to herself you hear a voice in your head.
"No need to shout, I hear ya.
What's up?"

"I need you to do the thing!"

"Finally. These dumbasses haven't left since yesterday! They're driving me nuts!
Make sure they stay for those 24 hours! If I have to see them again this day I'll loose my mind!"
The grumpy Kai pauses for a moment and without breaking the connection speaks to his champions.
"Okay guys. Time to go.
Now I'll be watching and if any of you embarrass me it's Hell bootcamp for all of you!"

"P-Please... not the german ogres again-"
Pier begs his boss in the background. Wait... do they actually do that?
Well, guess your training regiment is not that unique after all.

You wait for a few seconds without anything happening. But just as you're about to voice your concern you feel something happening.
A sudden pang of pain strikes you and it feels like your soul is being sucked out of your body.
Gasping and choking on your own saliva, you lean forward and grab your gut. Four days. That's all it was.
You thought it'd be painless, like you'd just live 4 days less. Turns out no, it's subtracted from your life force on the spot.
And the only consolation is that it fades just as quick as it came.

The others at the table are ready to jump up and rush to your aid but they are stopped by a pillar of light erupting from the floorboards.
When it's gone you see the four legendary warriors standing right in front of you. Your pals are still ready to pounce but now for a completely different reason.

"Who are you?"
Hit asks them in a cold manner.

In response you extend your hand to stop him and anyone else who might get an idea.
Coughing from the experience you speak up.
"Don't... these are... the guys I invited!"

As you say that two things happen. First, everyone notices the halos above their heads.
And second, Sam and Dominika start freaking the fuck out.
"N-No way! No! FUCKING! WAY!"

"B-Bruce Lee?"

"That'd be me, yes.
Sorry for intruding in your home.
But this is the only way we could arrange it."

We are HONORED to have you here!"
Sam sprints into his room and pulls out a poster with the guy on it.
"P-Please sir! Could you sign this for me?!"

"Well... I can't say no to a fan now, can I?"
Taking the pen from Sams hand he scrawls his name first in english, then underneath in chinese.
"Besides, I'm delighted to see people still remember me."

But while Sam is busy fanboying the fuck out Domi slowly starts connecting the dots.
"And... who... may I ask who you are?"
You know, I wonder how many countries instated discrimination laws for where you went in the afterlife. And what things are like in places that DIDNT make that illegal. “Heaven-only” employees and the like. No-hell-allowed businesses.
A tip. Not as many as you'd think.
Because those who'd make rules like that... ended up in Hell.
And they DON'T want to end up there again
German ogres are good at their job I see...
Let's just say that in the omakes I wasn't exaggerating about the rape ogres
Your back creaks as you straighten it and extend your arm towards them.
"Allow me to do the honors.
Ladies first, we have Jeanne d'Arc, Pier Gerlofs Donia and Sigurd Asulf, otherwise know as the berserker of Stamford bridge!"

"No... fucking way!
You didn't just magic Jeanne d'Arc out your ass Eric!"

"Just did.
Arranged it with god... A god. Whatever.
Got the halo and everything! They'll be joining the tournament as well.
I fucking told you it'll be rough Domi! You didn't listen!"

"A pleasure meeting all of you!"

"Aye! Especially you odd ones!
We've seen a few of yer kind in Otherworld!
Especially the Saiyans! They are such good sports so we'd be glad to help you making friends with them!"

"And I'm just here to fight someone.
It's getting boring fighting the same guys over and over again.
And you weaklings no longer send us any fresh meat!"

Domi points at you.
"Did you say his name is Asulf-"

"Does it look like I'm related to that shrimp you cunt?"

"K-Kinda, sir!"

But as Dominika is getting flustered talking with a fucking viking Sam also manages to pry himself away from Lee and notices something... odd.
"Erm... Miss d'Arc?"


"What's with that hairstyle?"

"Oh some souls who were erm... passionné. I don't know the word for it.
They came to me and told me they are worshippers. And told me this hairdo would look great.
I liked it very much so I kept it!"

"F-Fucking... weebs-"


It-It really looks good on you! Just... please ignore people who ask to take pictures with you!"

"Oh? Those portraits you can make in an instant?
I heard of those! I'd love to pose for one!"

"NO-Erm... that was harsh.
Please, be considerate! We barely came to terms with the afterlife!
If people took pictures of your halo! That'd have terrible consequences!"

"Ah. I see. It is for their protection then.
I don't fully understand but I'll try."

"Thank you!"

But as this goes on you clap your hands together.
"OKAY! Everyone! Finish your meals and let's get going!
We got a tournament to get to!"

>Take the guys to the secret tunnel and enter the arena with the ghost fighters in tow
>Ask Lee and the others to divert some attention while you smuggle the guys in
>It's best to keep them under wraps as long as possible! Everyone sneaks in!
>Take the guys to the secret tunnel and enter the arena with the ghost fighters in tow
>>It's best to keep them under wraps as long as possible! Everyone sneaks in!
>>It's best to keep them under wraps as long as possible! Everyone sneaks in!

can we portal them to the tunnel from here?
If you truly believe that creating a haven for good that denies the trespass of evil is itself evil...
Then all I have to say to you is deus vult, infidel
>Take the guys to the secret tunnel and enter the arena with the ghost fighters in tow
>It's best to keep them under wraps as long as possible! Everyone sneaks in
Your magic skyman isn't real, everyone knows we're ruled by grape people, fat cats, and some eternal all powerful manchild

But anon, you forget. The GODS THEMSELVES designed this segregation! The celestial bureaucracy itself has FUNDAMENTALLY separated the most sinful from the average sinners from the pure of heart. Heaven, hell, and the normal afterlife exist for this very reason. Moreover, it would not be mortals judging each other - the gods have already done it for us. To preserve their system cannot be a sin, unless you want to claim that the gods have sinned by doing so themselves.
I don't see why not.
And this is why you should not be afraid to do write-ins. Because I forget shit. A lot.
And if you feel like something's in your ability to do so, feel free to post it because I might forget or not even consider that possibility.

And it seems that we'll be going in sneaki breaki style.
So let's leave it at that. I'll go to sleep and we'll pick up from there first thing tomorrow,
And we'll finally, FINALLY start this show!

See you guys later!

Yea when you realize the universe only runs on one rule: Don't be a dick to people a lot of things just go out the window.
I wanted to post something more clever in response to that but I just don't have the capacity for it now
To quote a great man who did nothing wrong:
When the gods do something it's beautiful, when mortals emulate it they sully it with their sin

And it's kinda true.
What's allowed for god is not allowed for mere men.
To take judgement into ones own hand like that is not only arrogant but fundamentally flawed, as ones own perception of good and evil would inevitably corrupt the system
Bullshit. Like I said, the gods already judged and sorted them. It’d be an issue if we abused them or judged them ourselves, but neither has to be the case. If they can be confirmed as a denizen of Hell, and only with absolute certainty, why should we willingly harbor them? Even Kami didn’t do that, he resisted like shit unless something desperate was on the line. Hell, the Guardian position had purity of heart as an actual prerequisite.
And say what you will about guardians but they’re all from Mortal stock.
And you'd knowingly and willingly deny them a chance to redeem themselves?
That's an Ogre Paddlin' if I ever saw one
They can redeem themselves off of my property. Donate, do charity work, go innawoods to take care of injured animals, whatever. Their redemption is not my responsibility nor should I be forced to give them succor.
Now hol' up. That's not what you said, nor did I imply you should personally see to it that they get that.
But discriminating against them by denying them services and jobs? It's like you want them to go back to committing crime out of desperation
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Their lot is of their own making. Were they not so evil in the previous life as to warrant processing in HELL of all places, they would be tolerable. But those that the heavens judge so wicked should not be treated softly, the path to redemption is not an easy one to walk. Those who make the journey are to be celebrated twofold over others, for certain, but it is up to each Hell-judged to stay strong or to fall back into their sinful ways.
Non are more unworthy of gods grace and mercy than the overblesser
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What a graceful way to say, that you reject your responsabilities over fellow men.
Begone, ye who would coddle Evil. I have no responsibility for those who took advantage of their fellow men. Only when they prove themselves of righteous heart again should they be accepted, lest you allow a wolf into the sheep’s pen.
I wonder what sort of fighters Nega-Som's got cooked up for those two mysterious participants? Part of me wants our Bio-Frost shitposting to have resulted in an actual X-COM super soldier spliced with his genes.
Ey, you guys think we could pick up some of those magical cloaks that completely obscure the appearance and build of anyone that's wearing them that they always use in anime on the way? We could drop Domi off, then have all the participating fighters that can fly drop in from the sky, all dramatic and mysterious like. Then throw off all the cloaks all synchronized or something, I guess. Or just keep wearing them until the fighting gets serious and dramatically reveal ourselves one after another. Alternatively, I might have just been reading waaaay too much battle manga recently.
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alternatively we could just announce them at the start of the tournament and have some neat press interviews, top it off witha nice little group shot for the news channels to plaster on the airwaves.
I'm also sure Bruce would like to get a quick shoutout to his daughter before the fights start.
I think we should just portal to the center of the ring with our dead friends
I was considering that. Chose not to.
Instead I got... something else. One is kinda easy to guess, the other... well you'll have to wait and see.

Magic cloaks would be kinda pointless. But I might give you regular ones

Fuck I had to actually look that up. Wren Keasler is 16 years old. She was born in 2003... 2003 was 16 fucking years ago. Jesus christ how old am I? And both of Bruces daughters are out of shape. SHAMEFUR DISPRAY!
Shit, I mean his daughter and granddaughter are
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>2003 was 16 years ago
That can't possibly be true. It was only 7 at most, right?
Rolled 36, 14, 3, 29, 36, 2, 17, 37, 7, 17, 22 = 220 (11d40)

Okay. Time to organize shit.
The participants are as followed
>Bruce Lee
>Pier Gerlofs Donia
>Jeanne d'Arc
>Mystery warrior #1 (Let's call this one B)
>Mystery warrior #2 (And this one N)
That's about 11 dudes unless I forgot someone, which I hope I didn't

So here's how it'll go down.
We'll have 4 ten man brackets. The warriors who come out on top of Brackets 1-2 and 3-4 will fight each other in the semi finals. And the Finals will be between the winners, after which "The Bonus round" with Cabba comes

Now to do the rolls. These will be self explanatory.
Here are the brackets. I'll obviously add a number to ones that are doubles.

>First fight: Oren vs Bruce... ohnononononono this was a terrible idea!
Rolled 27, 1, 23, 17, 46, 3, 9, 13, 33, 37, 11 = 220 (11d48)

10 person brackets don't work!
Need to be 12! My OCD demands it!
Fuck... This is not good either! How do tournaments work?
I'm so bad at this, I can't do this unless I visualize it
Rolled 59, 13, 46, 7, 15, 56, 50, 50, 44, 54, 52 = 446 (11d64)

Okay... I had to scribble one down like a retard until it worked.
64! 64 men will do. That means 16 per bracket.
Final roll... fuck. And the last one worked so well. No duplicates what-so ever
And this one is just utter shit.... Everyone in one bracket!!!
Okay. I'll do the brackets when we start. No save-scumming, no take backs
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Bro, honestly, I think you should just arrange each fight to be the most interesting one you can think of. It's random in-universe, but that doesn't mean it has to be random OOC. I think stories work best when the author steers them towards whatever is the best to write/read about.
Fuck randomness, assume direct control as you were born to do.
At this point I'm actually considering it... There's too much trouble with it as is.
I can't even find a good bracket tool online.
Only clunky cancer that barely does what I want it to
Go with your gut. But if I had a say in it the first bracket seemed good exept the one match so just reasign the participants and your all good.
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>2003 was 16 fucking years ago.
Bullshit. KOTOR was released just...
Raising your hand, you focus for a few minutes before swiping at the air and tearing a hole in reality.
The portal leading right into the underground tunnel remains open as you gesture at it.
"Okay! Grab your stuff and get in."

"This isn't a teleporter is it?"
Sam asks.

"No. It's a wormhole."

"Ah, good."

Forcibly you siphon energy into the gateway to keep it open as the guys get in one by one and once you are through you generate a ball of energy to light the area.
Everybody is looking around the blank, featureless concrete hallway.
"I don't understand."
Lee speaks up.
"What's the point of all this secrecy?"

"Two things. My friends would cause quite a scene, being aliens and all that."
He looks like he's about to question you further about it so you quickly change the subject.
"And the second is quite simply: Theatrics.
We gotta make a flashy entrance!"

"Ah! I see!"

As you lead them further into the system it becomes readily apparent to them that the place has no lights, nor any electricity so the only thing providing light to it is your energy ball.
"How did you get away with this? Does this place serve a purpose?"
Domi asks you inquisitively.

"No, it doesn't.
And nobody knows it's even here.
Kamin and Oren turned used their "talent" to go underground and make it in secret.
It's pretty nifty. You can't even get in unless you can manipulate energy nor can you reach the end if you can't fly."

"Ever heard of ladders dude?"

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that...
There's no ladder tall enough that you can fit in here."

We're awesome!"
Kamin and Oren puff their chests.

"Hey! Don't take credit for Lyns plans you two!"
Reaching the end of the tunnel you find a chimney like structure leading directly above.
Raising your hand, you shoot out a wave of kinetic energy which promptly cleans the entire tunnel.
With Sam helping Domi fly up, all of you get up there.
"There we go. We made this directly above one of the VIP pavilions."
Flipping a switch you then turn on the lights.
"We even tapped into the grid."

Sam looks quite distraught at this.
"This feels like we're at the secret headquarters of a supervillain!"

"Eh... not incorrect."

"You even got a fridge in here?!"

You respond as you stock the place with a variety of soda and perishable snacks.
"Feel free to help yourself to it."

>Okay, let's go and sign up!
>Hol' up. I'll get us some cloaks to enter in style
>Let's just wait for everyone else to get through and roll in at the end
>Okay, let's go and sign up!

We're too dorky to pull off dramatic entrances
>Hol' up. I'll get us some cloaks to enter in style
>Hol' up. I'll get us some cloaks to enter in style
Also, I just wanna warn y'all that I'm not exactly 100% right now.
They served donuts in the canteen and... it was a mistake. It was like eating a sponge filled with grease and now I feel like I'm in Junji Itos Glyceride
>Hol' up. I'll get us some cloaks to enter in style
Well... Guess it's time for a Ginyu Force entrace...
Maybe not quite autistic

"Okay guys, those that are participating, line up!
I wanna do something."
Extending your hand you close your eyes and begin intensely focusing.
Humming to yourself to help you concentrate you start burning through some of your minimal magic reserves rapidly.

A pink puff of smoke explodes in front of you and from it a set of black, very large robes come out and plop on the ground, perfectly folded.
They each step up to it and start examining the clothes you provided.
"I just eyeballed it because I don't know your measurements. So they are a bit bigger than you are."

"Making clothes appear out of thin air?
It's just like the power of the gods!"
Jeanne marvels at your creation.

"It's... really nothing. I just turned some of the air into solid matter.
The real problem is that I can only use it for domestic stuff because every time I tried using it in combat I got screwed.
Anyway, put these on. Sam, you carry Domi. We'll be dropping dead in the center of things.
Scare the living bejeesus out of them."

"A'ight. I'm game.
How do we leave?"

You point forward.
"The window."

All of you take off and fly out of the place and out of the arena itself.
Flying past the walls you see two massive crowds concentrated into two snaking lines, one for the spectators who are lining up to see the upcoming spectacle and another where people are waiting to be register... well, more like get scanned.
But judging by the number of people here you'd say it's not just people from the country but all across the globe!
There are even people in the parking lots who are just there to BBQ and have a good time enjoying the crowd.

This might become an annual thing at this rate."

"With the business it brings to the city it's held in?
I'd be SHOCKED if this didn't become a regular thing."
Sam observes and looks at you.
"So... will you be defending that title of yours next year?"

You let out a chuckle.
"Why? Are you gunning for it already?"

"I might be."

"Even though you don't intend to be a martial artist?"

"Prize money..."

Your group of weirdoes clad in black cloaks land smack down in the middle of things and even though the line goes super fast because the Saiyans are using their scouters to separate the wheat from the chaff they still get pissy, completely ignoring the fact that you just flew here.

"HEY! Who do you guys think you are?!"

You reach under your robe and snap on the bone mask you've been carrying around since morning before throwing the robe off which flies into the crowd and people start fighting for it.
Following your example the others do the same and their halos pop free from underneath the shrouds and people start loosing their shit.
What semblance of order suddenly breaks as people realize it's Bruce motherfucking Lee is there and they start wondering who the others are.

The camera crews start focusing on you as well as the many drones buzzing about.
"Ladies and gentlemen... I can't believe it!"
A reporter lady starts shouting to her cameraman as things devolve around her.
"It's Bruce Lee! In the flesh!"

"I am."
He then playfully filcks the halo above his head which makes a little ringing noise as it wobbles around.
"Though "In the flesh" is not entirely correct."

"T-They are really loosing it."
Sam observes.

"So did you."


"Yea... I suppose."

"Jesus dude. How desensitized are you?
Resurrection of the fucking dead doesn't scare you?"

"I've been dead three times dude.
At this point it's more of an inconvenience than anything."

"And let me guess... each time you got into heaven."

"Super Heaven."

"That's bullshit!"

But you're right in that this will quickly get out of control if left unattended."

>Let's just register before we get bogged down too hard
>But it's also a great opportunity to scan the opposition...
>Let's just register before we get bogged down too hard
Let the fights speak.
>Let's just register before we get bogged down too hard
>Let's just register before we get bogged down too hard


You... might be surprised. Or not.
After all, you were the architects of your own demise
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Oh? There's somebody that's a match for us that isn't a member of our crew? I'll bite.

>But it's also a great opportunity to scan the opposition...

Can we send the others ahead while we stick around for a minute to scan? We can escape easily enough with time stop, after all.
Not... exactly. In fact I'm having trouble putting it on the roster because... I don't know who should go up against it.
You are an obvious choice. But others would be fucking funny as well
Looks like we're going to get straight to the fucking point then
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"Let's go guys. You got a limited time.
Better get this party started and you can do the interviews alone."


Heading over to the rows upon rows of tables set up for the processing of potential combatants, you start to realize how they can do things so fast.
Rather than asking for names and information upfront people are just given numbers and only if they are selected do they have to give their actual names.
Seems like ripe for abuse, after all nothing stopping people from switching numbers but...
That'd be a fucking stupid idea. Trying to enter when you're clearly not meant to.

So you show up at one of the tables and the saiyan ladies who got relegated to paper pusher greet you.
"Sorry friend. You gotta have a number. Captains orders."

You look over and see Cabba hard at work filling out papers and skimming through the list of single digit power levels, trying to find abnormalities among them.
Looks like he won't be much help...
"I'll give you a number.
Turn that scouter on."

As the lady does so she seems both shocked and strangely relieved to hear her device beep more than once.
In fact it seems to keep counting until it lets out a satisfying beep.
"Huh.... Two hundred.
Well looks like it's a wrap."

"Oh don't be so sure of that.
The cream of the crop is only coming!"
You then pat the kids on the back and push them forward so they slide on their feet.
"Here. Do them now."

"Kids under 18, which is the average age of maturity on your planet are not-"

"Again... I'll give you a better number.
Turn. It. On."

The scouter starts counting once more as the saiyan who sounds like she's tired of this shit turns it on.
But her enthusiasm slowly returns to her as the counter keeps rising and rising and rising until-
"Whoa... Five thousand each!
Do... you loose power as you age?"

"Oh nonono.
But does that mean they are in?"

"Y'know what?
Fuck it! YES! It's gonna be a wipeout but at least it'll be fun now!"
She gives each of you a stamp.
"Here. Take these numbers. If you get in, we'll call you. But as things look I don't think you'll miss out!"

"Say thanks kids!"

"Thank you!"
"Thank you!"
"Say Eric...
Why were you in base? Why not power up just a little?
To be safe?"

"Oh Kamin.
I don't think our strongest will reach the two digit numbers.
But even if they do, there won't be enough of them to lock me out.
And I'd recommend you do the same. Remember: You shouldn't bully these people.
If your opponents can't use energy, you shouldn't either. That'll be a learning experience."

"And if we loose?"

"Then that's going to be an important lesson.
Now let's go."

Moving aside, you await the others to show up which they do relatively soon.
Just as soon as Sam is done however things quickly devolve into a dick-measuring contest between members of your group.
"Check it out! TWO! THOUSAND!"

"That's impressive only in the featherweight class-"
Said Kamin, looking smug as hell.
"Five thousand. And we weren't even forcing it like you were!"

"Why you little!"

"Calm down.
These numbers are superfluous at best."
Lee tries to ease the tension.
"One can not measure a persons capabilities with numbers. A fight consists of many components and variables, often times chance and luck can tip the scales more than any numerical advantage can. What's important is to be ready and seize those opportunities when they show up! And never give up!"

"I'm being taught by Bruce Lee! YEEEEEEE!"

"It's still fun to compare who has a bigger number.
What's yours mister?"
Oren asks him.

"A mere thousand."

"As much as it pains me to say this but the asian is right."
Sigurd also joins in.
"Numbers don't mean anything if you can stack things in your favor.
If you can fight them one at a time a man can take down an army."

"Ohoho! Then what was YOUR number my friend!
There's no shame in having a small one!"
Pier laughs.
"Because it's all smaller than mine anyway! Nine thousand!"

"A-Am I the only one with a double digit here?
That's so not fair..."

"I told you Domi.
That 35 may be impressive on a small scale but in the big leagues?
Not really."

"Oh sir Eric, don't try to intimidate her!"
Jeanne steps up to protect Dominika.
"It takes great courage to fight when one knows they are no match.
You should be encouraging her! Sure, she doesn't have a 4500 powerlevel but so what?"
She puffs her chest in pride.

"Y-You just used that as an excuse to brag about yours..."

But as you were arguing things proceeded with the selection and finally the results became clear.
To be tasteful they seemingly did not publish the exact number of each contestant. And luckily there is no betting in place because that'd be ripe for abuse otherwise.
"I-Is this thing on?"
Cabba mutters into the mic.
"Okay! Those that hear their numbers step up and please introduce yourselves!"
Unsurprisingly each of you got in, even Dominika somehow.
But due to the random number assignment you got spread out rather evenly across the four brackets.
Pier, Oren and Kamin are in the 1st Bracket with the numbers 1, 3 and 14 assigned to each of them respectively.

Jeanne, Dominika and Sam landed in the 2nd Bracket with the numbers 17, 26 and 29.

You had your wish fulfilled and landed with Sigurd in the 3rd... Unfortunately looks like you'll only meet him in the quarter-finals.
But strangely enough you feel two other powerlevels in your own group. Energies which seemed to be present previously but they were drowned out by the sea of normality the others projected with their 5 to 20 levels. One is called Bao of the Shaolin Monastery, and he looks the part. A proper Buddhist monk, middle aged but visibly fit and strong...
The other guy? Now that's another story. He seems to be wearing a massive cloak, so he stole your idea. And you only dare to call it a "he" because the guy is built like a brick shithouse.
He apparently gave the name "Neko-Chan" to Cabba which further complicates matters for you and him

And Bruce? Bruce is all on his lonesome in the 4th.
But as an upside you'll be paired up with him in the Semi-Finals.
However he won't be bored by any means. Two pretty impressive contestants will have the honor of challenging him, the only two you recognize by their names alone.
Ronny Markes, the super heavyweight Mixed Martial Arts champion! And Andy Ruiz Jr. the world heavyweight boxing champion!
Well... their careers are right fucked.

But it seems like you'll have to wait for quite a while before you get to have any action.
As the first and second brackets will have to go through their first rounds. After that however, things should pick up the speed.
Well... time to find a comfortable seat.

>Go up to your special area and chat with your friends while watching
>Find a place close-by. You want to watch ALL of this!
>>Go up to your special area and chat with your friends while watching
>Find a place close-by. You want to watch ALL of this!
>Find a place close-by. You want to watch ALL of this!

Mush QM, mush!
He thinks you are a horse.
Neigh, I say! NEIGH!
Good enough same as I'm certainly not a sheep.
Mush is what you say to dogs, you fucking brainlet.
Well sheep are not smart.
>>Find a place close-by. You want to watch ALL of this!
make telepathic contact with those in the special area and chat
I still don't get what you meant by "mush"
Anyway it seems like you'll be chilling. Which should be amusing as we start off with Pier and after him Oren...

I also aim to reach the point of voting so I don't eat up even more time than necessary when I get back
The place has a fully functional restaurant, a medical room ready to treat any injuries with advanced Saiyan medical technology and a locker room.
One thing is common in all of them: You can't see shit from them.
And that's the one thing you want now.

Since the only restriction is to show up when its your turn you can go wherever you want.
So you sneakily open a portal to one of the tunnels leading into the many, many seats set up and just lay low in the shadows.
With a decent viewing angle at the ring it's the perfect place for you.
"First should be... Pier. This should be interesting."

Luckily since things are about to start no more people are allowed to enter the stadium and instead they are forced to watch from the screens that are constantly broadcasting events with commentary.
So nobody really bothers you... for a while at least.
"Hi Sam..."

"Man it's really freaky that you know when I'm sneaking up on you."

"You can do it too."

"I know. Still weird."

"So what are you doing here?
The view is better from the VIP room."

"I know..."

"You embarrassed yourself in front of Sala again, didn't you?"

"Stop reading my mind!"

"I'm not.
Just a guess."

"So... what are YOU doing here?"

"I want to focus on the fights.
The guys would just distract me."

"For what reason?
Aren't they like... super trivial compared to shit you usually do?"

You won't even grace that with an answer.
Even though you probably won't see much new, it's still foolish to disregard it.
And who knows... they might just surprise you.
"Watch. He's coming."

Welcome! To the first ever World Martial Arts Tournament!
I'll be your host for todays wonderful events and hopefully make your time just a little bit more enjoyable in the process.
Now the rules are simple but it's best if we go through them together!
Each contestant will be paired up by a randomly selected opponent! Those who win get to advance! Simple, right?
But how CAN they advance! Well... due to the special nature of our little event we had to ignore some, shall we say, unnecessary safety precautions!"

"Oy... is he out of his mind?"

"Not really.
It'd be impossible to make a unified set of rules for all the possible fighting styles.
Since things like boxing don't let you use your legs, etc. Really, it's a necessity."

"The only thing truly forbidden is going for the eyes and the privates! Nobody likes a cheapshot!
And killing is strictly prohibited, that goes without saying! Should any participant die, they'll be officially named the winner!"
>should any participant die they'll be named the winner

Aww shit that's super exploitable...for us
>Should any participant die, they'll be officially named the winner!"
And the threads all explode with
>"If you kill your enemies, they win."
I took that from ancient greek olympics.
Back there, if you killed your opponent in a wrestling or boxing match, they won. Because they didn't give up the hardest. And that's metal as fuck
"Onto the rules! Participants may use any fighting form they wish! There are no restrictions!
To achieve victory however the competitors must either toss their opponents out of bounds or pin them against the ground, at which point a ten count will start!
Reaching the end of the count means defeat! Knocking an opponent out is an automatic victory.
And surrenders are allowed! If combatants strike a surrendered foe or someone outside the ring, they are disqualified!
It's THAT simple folks!"

Ten count, huh?
I thought a ring out would be an instant win."

"I was against it but the Saiyans insisted. They said "cheapshots" shouldn't win.
But sadly that means your chances of winning against a tougher foe are that much more slim."

The announcer then proceeded to hype up the upcoming fight, which you really didn't pay any attention to. It's not important at all.
What WAS important was when he announced who the participants actually are. Well, one of them is.
"Ladies and Gentlemen... I'm sure you've heard this already BUT IF YOU DIDN'T boy do we have a surprise for you!
As shocking as it is we have some living legends walking amongst us, which gave your helpers in the background sweat as they had to research history a bit!
But as interested as you are, we must leave the details for later. As it is time to fight!
WITHOUT FURTHER ADO! Let me introduce you to the legendary brigand, the rebel, the giant himself! Pier Gerlofs Donia, BIG! PIER!"

As the man himself walks out into the light he spreads his arms to take in the adoration of the masses, most of whom probably are just getting hyped from the announcer.
But it's still nice to see them cheer for this long dead warrior.

"Dude... Why does he have a fucking sword?
I-Is that allowed?! Can we use weapons?"

"No... watch."

Big Pier then walks up to the announcer and whispers into his ears.
"Err... Ladies and Gentlemen, we got a special rule in place for this match!
By his request Pier would like to keep his sword on his person at all times. And I just received word from our judges that he's perfectly allowed to carry it as long as he doesn't actually use it!"


"You seem disappointed Sam."

"What?! Nonono.
Me? Never!"

You turn your attention back to the big guy.
"But this should be interesting. It's clear he was focusing on his swordsmanship in the afterlife.
I wonder how he'll apply that to a fistfight?"

"I don't like that look on your face Eric.
You're getting creepy again."

"That's because I'm sporting a boner unlike anything you can imagine!"


"But this gives me an idea..."

>Focus on the moves of the different fighters
>Bring the Z-sword over and start carrying it
And with that I'll be taking my leave.
See you in about 45 to 60 minutes
>>Bring the Z-sword over and start carrying it
>Bring the Z-sword over and start carrying it
>Bring the Z-sword over and start carrying it
only if we can do it really quick, if not, we can wait until after this fight
>>Bring the Z-sword over and start carrying it
This is a terrible idea! Let's do it.
Erm...portals dude
It's okay. I constantly forget about them too
Rolled 5, 14, 11, 4 = 34 (4d21)

And also QM rolling
Eh. Good enough I'd say.
Nothing spectacular but it will suffice
Swiping at the air you conjure a portal and reach through it.
The act of actually finding the Z sword takes a few moments but eventually you find it and pull the thing out.
With a little twirl you holster in on your back and let it rest there. You haven't had it off for long and you already started to forget how its weight feels.
"Pffft. Show-off."
Sam grumbles.

"Shush. Now... let's watch!"

You can practically see Piers opponent sweating as he's facing a literal ghost.
"Awww... don't be scared little man!
Come on! Let us enjoy ourselves! Cut loose! Hit me!
I'll let you have first blood!"

The guy is clearly scared witless so he just stands there in dumb confusion until the neurons finally start flying off in his brain again and his fight or flight reflexes turn on.
He screams as he charges the absolute tower of a man and punches him in the chest with full force.

Is that all?"
"I was hoping I could have a little fun first. But oh well."

The scared little man stumbles backward as the giant in front of him doesn't even budge from the impact.
In response Pier begins actually comforting the man he's supposed to be fighting.
"There there... Don't be scared. Come on, stand up!
I'm not gonna hurt you! Now watch THIS!"
Clenching his fists and bringing them down to waist level the dutchman begins shouting.


The latent energy within his body is brought forth and it explodes in an orange aura which actually blows his opponent out of the ring but the guy manages to climb back before the ten count.
"There we go! Do you feel that in your gut? That stirring? You gotta let that out laddie!
Close your eyes and feel it, pull it to the surface! AND SHOUT!"

The guy does as he's instructed and delivers another punch, this time he manages to have an effect on his opponent.
He clearly managed to tap into some of his latent energy there. Not much, but some.
Pier, now feeling the impact smiles.
"That's the way!"

Sam just stares at this in utter confusion.
"What is he doing?! He's instructing his opponent?"

Meanwhile you are left speechless. Because you know EXACTLY what Donia is thinking.
"King Kai..."
You mutter.
"You mother fucker!"
So King Kai instructed the legends to help spred Ki? Iguss that makes sense as thats just puting humans on a bit better grounds.
Everybody else out there knows this so in large scale its nothing special... On smal scale tho I guess guardians going to be bussy.
The two contenders finally pick up speed as they start exchanging swings and the size difference between the two fighters becomes apparent.
While Pier is stronger and one might argue he's faster as well, he simply lacks the agility needed to hit someone so much smaller and more nimble than himself.
So things quickly devolve into what looks like a beatdown.

The little man, spurned on by a new and unknown vigor keeps hammering Piers steely physique with little to no actual effect, while realizing that one strike will promptly end him.
It's intense for the average viewer who've never witnessed fighting on such a level. To them this is eye-opening, to you it's almost boring to watch.

"H-He might actually stand a chance!"

"Open your eyes.
This match was over when it started."

Taking another smack to the face Pier grins and with a look manages to stop his foe completely.
"Not bad laddie! Just remember that feeling in your gut!

Raising his arm the giant of a man picks up in speed and manages to land a direct hit on his opponent, tossing him out of the ring as if it was nothing.
The guy, with the wind punched out of his lungs lands on the ground, unconscious.
Mr Announcer guy immediately rushes to him and taps his neck.
"Ladies and gentlemen! I think we have our first winner! And with a knockout no less! It seems this tournament is off to a rousing start!"

"U-Uh... I knocked him out?
Oh damn. Looks like I got carried away."

"The winner is Pier Gerlofs Donia!"

"And that's that."

I'm gonna leave now. I'd like some of my innocence to remain intact."

"Knock yourself out.
But if you wanna reach the finals you'll have to get better as well.
And that means opening your eyes."

Go talk with your "son" why won't you?
He's the one who's gonna fight next."

"I know-"

>And you're right
>But I won't. They need to learn
>But I won't. They need to learn
>>But I won't. They need to learn
>And you're right
I felt those air quotes, asshole.
>But I won't. They need to learn
Bit of trust and maybe RNGenus hopefully goes a long way.
Silently observing from the background Vegeta style

And since this is an important character, you guys roll for him

DC: 3 Crit: 15
Best of 4
Rolled 4 (1d21)

Rolled 7 (1d21)

Rolled 17 (1d21)

Rolled 2 (1d21)

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"I know. And I felt those airquotes..."

"So? What are you waiting for?"

"I'm not going.
I told him what I expect, I was very clear on that.
Now I must see if he understood. Because they need to learn!"

See ya."

With Sam out of the way you get to focus completely on the unfolding event.
The announcer takes the stage again and with his microphone begins introducing the audience to the "fresh meat".
"Now then ladies and gentlemen!
What we got here is a most unusual contender! Though the rules clearly forbid underage children from participating this little fella alongside his sister managed to prove themselves to our STRICT administrators that they deserve to be here just like everyone else!
He might be small as a peppercorn but he has just as much of a bite to him! Please welcome Oren!"

Your boy then walks up to the stage in his blue jacket and he slowly looks around the place, observing the cheering crowd.
Taking a step out, you let the light shine on you and make yourself visible to him.
First he doesn't notice you as he finds his sisters and waves at them. But then he meets your gaze and freezes a bit.
Knowing how good their senses are, you smile at him and give him a thumbs up.
"Go ahead! I believe in you."

He nods and ascends the steps leading up to the massive concrete arena.
His opponent doesn't seem to be much really, not even a martial artist by the looks of it. Just some thug who seems to be physically impressive. That's it.
Still... that should be the perfect training dummy for Oren.

The biker looking guy walks up to him and blows some smoke into the boys face.
"Ya better surrender. I'm not going to loose to a corpse."

As he swats the cigar fumes out of his face Oren replies.
"Keep that up and I might out of disgust."

"Cocky little bitch."



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Orens opponent throws the first punch and it misses by a mile.
Obviously trying to follow the rules you've laid out for him, he relies solely on his exceptional eyesight to track his opponents movements and dodges accordingly.
This aggravates the guy and he begins unleashing more vicious and numerous attacks.

Things get so out of control that Oren has to actually employ his arms now and guide the opponents fist elsewhere.
However this has the unfortunate side-effect of making this obviously very threatening situation look like an intense game of patty cake.
"Stop! Squirming you midget!"

"I would but you're just not quitting."

"I will END YOU!"

"If you stopped blowing hot air maybe you could."


As his opponent tries to do a lariat Oren bends backwards and slides under him, on his knees.
Before the human could react however sonny does something quite astonishing. Placing one hand on the ground, he pushes himself off the ground and with one sweeping motion turns his whole body around to kick the guys ankle.
With his pray falling on his knees Oren seizes the opportunity and jumps on the guys shoulders.
"You dropped something?"


Doing a backflip Oren locks his legs around the guy and after a hand stand tosses him backwards.
With the human on the ground the young tuffle rushes up to him and puts the guy in a choke-hold.
Struggling with keeping the guy bound for a minute or two the oxygen supply of the guy runs out and he looses consciousness, making Oren the winner.

"L-Ladies and gentlemen! I don't believe it!
Young Oren managed to win without any injuries what-so ever!
It seems this young boy genius truly deserves his place amongst the mightiest of humanity!
Everyone! Please give a round of applause to the young man!"
As the medics are already doing more work than they thought they would the entire day by taking away the knocked out guy, Oren walks off the stage and sneakily makes his way up to you.
"Well? Was that everything you expected?"

Looking down at him you let out a little smirk.
"Well... I didn't expect you to bust out moves like that without any energy, that's for sure."

"You forgot that we are machines.
My hand-eye coordination is mechanical, not biological."

"You still needed to think of them...
Were you watching wrestling again?"

The boy blushes as he gets flustered.

>Hug him
>Wait for Kamins turn together
>"You're not a machine. You're my boy"
>"You're not a machine. You're my boy"
>>Hug him
>"You're not a machine. You're my boy"
>>"You're not a machine. You're my boy"
>Hug him
>>Hug him
>>Wait for Kamins turn together
>>"You're not a machine. You're my boy"
I choose all three
>Hug him
>Wait for Kamins turn together
>"You're not a machine. You're my boy"

Do you even need to ask
>>Hug him
>>Wait for Kamins turn together
>>"You're not a machine. You're my boy"
>"You're not a machine. You're my boy
>Hug him
>Wait for Kamins turn together
I wanted something more polarizing as an option but I came up with that you're my boy line and got afraid nobody would write it in so I did it myself

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"But you're not a machine.
You're my boy."

Kneeling down you pull him closer and hug him.
He seems a bit stiff at first but he calms down rather quick.
"Hey dad?"


"Why did you do it?
I get why you freed us. Why you took us in.
But you didn't need to go that far. We would've been fine if we were just left to be free.
So why did you... want to become our parent?"

"Tough question.
But... I suppose you looked like you needed a lot of love.
And after everything I learned about myself, after so much introspection, I realized I have a lot of love to give.
I guess it's because... never mind! It doesn't matter. What matters is that as long as you look at me like a dad, I'll look at you like my children.
Heh... I don't think Lyn would ever forgive me for disowning the two of you anyway!"

"I suppose I should thank her and let her ride my shoulders the next time she asks."

"You should let that happen all the time.
After a while you'll look back at those moments and feel regret for not saying yes.
Just a tip."

"So? What do we do now?"

"I suppose wait for your sister to finish.
Once she's done we can go and get some cotton candy or something.
These other fights? I honestly don't expect much from them."

"I guess even you can tell that their level is not worth studying."

"I didn't say that.
You can just hang out wherever. I'm not gonna stop you.
But I'll stay here and watch them. I admit I'm not a martial arts master on Earth, never learned any of them.
So I hope a few of those guys roll out sooner or later. Because I really want to study them."

I'll be back when Kamins turn comes."
But as he leaves Oren points up at the sky.
"Erm... not sure you noticed it already but you should definitely look up sometime."

Stepping outside you cast your gaze at the skies and smile.
"Well well well. Looks like invitations don't mean jack anymore!"
Kek. Oh this is gunna be hilarious in so many different ways.
And I'm afraid that's it for today.
I'm feeling rather tired.

I think I'll disappear for the next two days again.
Got a night shift to worry about.
But in turn I'll have plenty of time to work out those omake requests I got
Stay safe peeps!
Didn't we try to invite Champa and Vados and got told Champa would be bored with the fighting?
Honestly? I don't remember
But possibly
thanks for running Nega-Som
Yeah, it was just like that
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I got no excuse
To be fair, the Preparations for Tournament Arc Arc has taken quite a while.
The line still works considering they refused our invitation
Well more Vados refused on Champa's behalf.
more Vados wanted to keep champa away from the hot dogs on behalf of Champas arteries
I like to think that Champa learned about the tournament from someone else and came more or less to cheer on his buddy Eric. Probably used the excuse of trying more earth food on Vados.
I like to think that he's more concerned about his usual 5-star meals being replaced with leftovers and he's checking to see what the fuck is up.
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You think hot dogs are bad? Open your eyes hot dogs got nothing on some of the suff I have seen sold at sport events. Trust me when I say you can do better than that just to make our blue angel seriously paranoa that our fat cat will really get heart attack in this event.

(The picture is of The Squealer, sold at a stadium located in New Hampshire.)
Burgelanders never cease to amaze me.
And this comes from someone whose cuisine includes shit like cooked blood
Are you asian?
I think he means blood sausages or something similar. At least that is what I am familiar with they taste pretty good when prepared right.
Believe it or not, this is really more of a Southern thing.
The bible belt in particular is famous for absolutely clogging their arteries with chitlins and sugar water.
Also you Irish or something?
A fellow bong?
No, nothing like that.
Legit cooked blood. You kill an animal, pour its blood in a pot with some fat and onions. That's it.
No blood sausages, nothing. I tried it once, disliked it ever since.
Same with brain. We also fry brains like chicken.
I tried it but it's just so bad... The only thing I won't try is penis or testicles so no rocky mountain oyster for me. That's a no go
>Eating blood and brains
So you ARE asian.
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I mean I guess I can pull my eyes so hard I squint and I'm surprisingly good at saying Ching Chong Ding Dong.
But I'm 6'4", not really good at match and become one big tumor if I stay in the sun for too long
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I swear to all the fucking gods! If I see another one of that cocksucker Marks cancerously shit clickbait videos pop up in my recommended list I will fucking transcend to a higher plane of rage and march straight for that fucker and nothing on this fucking planet will stop my walk until I find that faggot and personally tear him apart atom by atom like the infinite gravitational force of a supermassive black hole and once I'm done I'll reassemble him just so I can fucking do it again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Also, Imma try and produce one omake right now.
After 9 hours of non-stop work I finally have some free time.

Oh and erm... I found this.
Imma put a spoiler on this in case you want to leave it as a surprise.
So let's just say that I finally came around to an idea previously brought up in the thread, which I dismissed at the time
"No! I don't care how many problems you have!
I want those men and those materials there YESTERDAY!
No... No I will not accept that! Get more men and work them 24/7 if you have to!
I'll pay for the cost myself if I have to! But I want it done NOW!"

He slammed down the phone in anger. It's been like this for a good while now. All work and no play makes the president a dull boy. And it's been like this for a week now.
The only thing that can and does make it worse is the incessant, stupid comments his advisors bombard him with.
"But Mr President, why do you care so much?
It's practically a miracle we built the stadium in such a short time.
What does it matter if it looks a bit unfinished? It should serve its purpose all the same."

He paused not for dramatic effect but to keep down the insult that's boiling up inside him.
"If... we want to do any business with the aliens in the future, we want to impress them!
We got to show that we are valuable! Becaue impressions matter! Imagine how much better deals we can get if they WANT to trade with us, and not just HAVE to.
THAT'S why this is so important!"

Muttering an "I'm surrounded by idiots" to himself the president returns to his most important phone calls.
Although he'll soon learn that he has more important matters at hand. Such as the 6 foot tall alien that just magically appeared in front of him.

One of his bodyguards shouts "GET DOWN" while another opens fire straight away...
Only to find his bullets turning into bubbles as they leave the barrel and the entirety of his pistol becoming flaccid and rubber like.
The strange figure looks at the now paralyzed guard and pinches his gun out of his hand.
"How strange. You people seem to be so obsessed with your weapons.
A nasty side effect of growing up without any power of your own. One must wonder however... what would've happened if you didn't keep inventing better tools to kill each other with and instead used your genius to improve yourselves? Mayhaps you wouldn't have wiped yourselves out."

"Who are-"

"Oh you know Donald.
You were told..."

The president swallows nervously and wags his hand at his guards.
"Leave us."

"But Mr-"


As the people in suits slowly walk out one by one the two figures remain face to face with each other.
"Please... have a seat."

"I've been sitting around for the past few decades.
Now that I feel like a young man again, I'd prefer to stand."

"In that case-"
The president stands up from his chair and extends a hand to his "guest".
"I'll do the same.
My name is-"
He extends a hand to the entity he presumes to be God but finds his advances rejected.

"I know who you are Donald.
I know your family I know everyone, or... I will.
But most importantly, I know you don't believe me.
You're thinking this is all a trick. That I'm some sort of common street magician.
And judging by what you're thinking about... you believe me."
"Believe me after that trick I doubt nothing-"

"Don't be afraid. There's no reason to lie now.
Trust me, you'll find it liberating to speak nothing but truth."

Swallowing nervously the president starts asking questions from the strange creature because he has quite a few of those.
"You're not like how I imagined."
The teal colored being smiles at that, as if he's amused by it.
"And that... thing you did. Nice trick. How did you do it?"

"Actually that WAS a trick."
Jih puts the pistol carefully down on the table.
"You'd be surprised how easy it is to make you people see things.
But it was a necessary evil. Your bullets wouldn't hurt me much. But they might rebound and hurt someone else. I couldn't have that."

"I uh... I was expecting a phone call."

"I know.
But I was having a hard time getting through. I admit I don't fully understand how your devices work yet.
However, I wanted to do this personally you see. It's easier for people to believe if they see me.
Even now I can still feel some doubt in your mind. But I don't blame you. Your view of the world has been shattered one too many times, so you don't know what to believe in anymore.
I'm here to fix that."

"So are you *gulp* God?"

"That's such a vague term. But I guess I am, like how you're a politician.
So let's keep it simple and not weird, shall we? Just call me Guardian.
That's an... apt description."

"So you're here to protect us?"

"No... I'm here to protect everything. From you."
Upon hearing this the president visibly gets shaken so Jih has to work his charm a bit to make sure he doesn't collapse.
"But don't be afraid. I said everything, that includes you as well. Think of me as a... sort of father figure.
Not an overbearing one. I'll let you act on your own, make mistakes on your own and hurt yourself... but only just. I'll try my best to not impose my will on you, because that's not why I'm here."

"So... like a farmer?
The crops grow on their own and you just watch over it?"

"That's a good way of rationalizing it!
I'll help you enter into the next world and, hopefully, fix some of your self imposed flaws along the way. If you're open to it, of course.
Which is why I'm here. I want to make my intentions clear and want to learn if I can count on you..."

The president did not know what to make of this.
It was too much, too quick, too... bizarre. Feeling his intellect failing him, he started to rely on his gut instinct to carry him.
"I can only promise to try!"

"And that's all I ask for!"
"But enough chit-chat about semantics! Let's get to business, shall we?
Both of us have more pressing matters after all."


"Now then, here's my proposal. I'm going to visit each nation one by one and... introduce myself.
I want you to call each one and spread the news of my arrival. Just tell them that I'm coming."

"Anything else?"

"No. They wouldn't believe you at best and think it's your idea at worst..."

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is... we got to get your people focused.
For now, you are too scattered, too fragmented, too... unfocused. And even the greatest lens can show a blurry image if not focused properly.
Our first order of business will be unifying Earth. Under one banner. One nation.
Once you have access to the entirety of your species' potential, then we can start thinking about... expansion."
Jih then turns around and starts leaving the president behind.
"We'll keep in touch remotely from now on. I'll only show up if I have some urgent business to take care of.
Once I'm done spreading my message to the other nations I'll get in touch.
Oh... and one more thing! Could you do me a favor and make an announcement to your people?
I have a residence set up in the Netherlands. I'm sure you won't have a hard time finding it.
Tell your people that those who can enter may have an audience with me.
Until next time!"
And that should be it for todays one.
I'll do the next one sometime tomorrow. Because I'll need some time to figure that one out
Thanks for the omake!
Thank you oMakedonalds,your omakes are tasty...even if you did forget my cheese and the side of hoes mad was a bit unsalted
"Oh shit oh shit oh shit!
I'm gonna be late!"
A young boy jumped out of his bed and frantically began going through his morning routine in a hurry.
He set an alarm but accidentally slept through it.

But it's funny in a strange way. The last time he was this interested in sports was when he was young and REALLY into wrestling.
Heck, he didn't even want to really go at first but after managing to interview the savior of humanity himself?
He's been feeling a bit more motivated.

"MOM! I'm going out!
Where are my pants?"

"I washed them Johnny.
Go get a new one."

He hurriedly began dressing up, all the while tumbling around the room like an idiot.
Meanwhile he could hear the TV show his mom is watching in the background.

"What we're saying is that there is already a lot of fetishization going on, mainly from lifeless trolls who-"

"I'm sorry but are you insinuating that only trolls would find them attractive?
Have you seen what they look like?"

"I have.
And they promote this toxic image which-"

All this time you've been raving and ranting about "Inequality between men and women" and yet, now that we are shown an intergalactic society which seems to be thriving, where there is no sexual discrimination, you hate it."

"Well it's because they are obviously a feudal society and-"

"And how is that a bad thing? How is that a BAD thing?"
The man debating the woman starts counting on his hand.
"They are a complete meritocracy where if you're exceptional, you're promoted to a higher class but if you fail to meet expectations you get demoted.
There are confirmed reports from multiple people that ones worth is solely determined by their strength, be they male or female.
And that there is no rules or prejudice against women being clan heads. All they require is to be the greatest of their house to lead them!
Sounds like to me you're just jealous."

"Ah, here we go again-"

"Well, my assumptions aren't baseless.
After all, they have to work for everything they have, whereas you demand things be given to you.
They are not only fit, healthy and strong but manage to not look like a brick glued to a pig carcass like many butch lesbians do.
In fact they are the antithesis of everything you've been trying to rant about. And they are fine! More than fine! They are an intergalactic superpower!
While we have people advocating unhealthy behavior like getting fat and expecting things be given to them for... what? Being born with specific genitals?
They are laughing at us! And with good reason!"

"And maybe that's the problem!"

"Oh sure!
The leading powers of the fucking universe MUST be wrong!
Instead us, a bunch of apes who nuked themselves out of existence must be right!
What will it take for you people to finally admit to your bullshit and move on?!
Was a trip to Hell not enough? And don't try it to play off you bitch! We MET there!"
How ridiculous. Johnny never understood how could his mom enjoy trash "debates" like these.
She must be fond of the drama or something.

But anyway, there is a point to it all.
Ever since the arrival of the Saiyans the media has been in full damage control mode, trying to spin things in a way that'd benefit them.
Unfortunately, their usual tactics don't seem to be working this time, as people are far too interested in the aliens to pay them any attention.
And luckily, the Saiyans believe that actions speak louder than words so they've been demonstrating what they believe in.
So public opinions regarding them are positive.

Johnny however, he doesn't know what to think.
Truth be told, he hasn't tried to think about it too hard.
But since the interview... he's been curious a bit. Maybe, just maybe... oh whatever.
It won't happen anyway. He'll just go there, stream some fights, get some views and maybe make some money off of it.
Who knows? Maybe he'll even meet Him again.

But at the same time...
He DID promise the guys on /ayy/ he'd deliver.
Maybe he'll visit a bar, get some liquid courage in his system and try it.
Who knows?
There you go sir, your order.
Extra salt, no meat, no flour, no vegetables, no cheesse. Just salt

And that about does it for the omakes.
I'm... pretty sure I didn't miss any. But if I did feel free to scream at me
So, when is 4chan going to get a a /pow/er board? Imagine what autists could invent for fighting techniques... and autistic power generation...

>Psionic General #231 : Where do you workout? >The library
>My room
>OP's room

>HAAAAAAAAAAAAA General #431 : God Ki gains
>You have been visited by the mommy angel of gains. You will only receive God Ki gains if you reply with YES MOMMY!

>Do manlets get Ki gains faster?

>INTP vs. INTJ , is magic easier for us?
>ENTJ master race reporting

>Powerlevel mogging thread, post mogs.
>Some /fit/fag was flaring his ki. I flared mine, easily double his. Then he ran home. Mogged.
>"and then everyone clapped" , fake.

>Magic is bullshit, it's just saying words backwards. The Chad barely uses it anyways. useless.
>This is now a FEITH thread. Post goodies.

>[Image of the Chad]
>I'm building a team...
>So as far as I know, nobody besides /pow/erful individuals such as us are getting real gains
>Your point is?
>I'm saying we could totally be superheroes and shit. Nobody can really stop our oldfags at this point outside of the Chad
>I like what you're saying, but we can't be capefags without costumes
>...I have an idea
/fa/ and /pow/ were merged soon after.
Meanwhile, in /sci/
>Would combining the DNA of the strongest humanoid lifeforms in the universe create the ultimate lifeform? Asking for a friend
>Perpetual Energy Generator General 231: Infinity loops work! How did no one figure this out?
>If you shoot sunlight into some crystals, the light refracts a couple million times and focuses into a pinpoint laser beam. But there's no way it could have produced such energy! Infinite energy?
>Just ruined my wedding ring. Can confirm that using multiple laser pointers can create a hole through inches of steel when using crystals.
>Steve Irwin was apparently a badass when it came to MMA
I feel like we missed a guest fighter.
Hai-ho! I'm just popping in to tell you that I'll be running tomorro-
"Well I'll be..."
You look up and it's as clear as day.
Despite inviting them and them declining, they are still here.

Not only that, if Oren didn't point it out you wouldn't even know they are here!
Looking around it becomes pretty apparent that everyone is a bit too preoccupied with the tournament to really look up. And since they are pretty much undetectable, really nobody has a chance to realize they are way up there.
They are pretty high up too!

It's clear as day that they don't want to attract much attention. All the saiyans are in the arena and Vados could pass as a human, albeit a weird one should they need to mingle with the mortals.
Which you guess is the case, because the only reason you see for them being here is that Champa heard there will be an event with a shitload of food and he HAD to come.
Which, most likely, is the exact scenario Vados wanted to prevent.
But... you're here now so might as well make the most of it.

>Fly up and say Hi
>Try telepathically reaching out to them
>Leave them be
Erm, I just got an error saying I'm apparently banned? But when I went to see why it said I'm not.
Anyway, I got through but don't be surprised if I suddenly disappear I'll be home in about 5 and a half hours, I'll continue then
>Fly up and say Hi
>Fly up and say Hi
>Fly up and say Hi
Well shit, I didn't expect you to go up to them.
I'm gonna post while I'm still able.
SNAFU! One of the dynamic IPs assigned to me got a ban until December 12th.
I may or may not be able to post the update.
Will keep trying
Damn. Do you know what for did they get baned for?
Mods getting pretty pissed off when you turn off Chinese people's internet so it may have been that.
Leaving through the exit, you take a quick look around before using your time-skip to disappear out of sight and swiftly fly upward as to not draw any unneeded attention to those two up there.
As you get closer you can both see AND hear Champa munching on some deep fried snacks.
Corndogs and a blooming onion by the looks of it.

"My lord..."

"Oh shi-"
Champa begins hiding his stuff.
"Eric! My man! How's it going?"

"Lord Champa, Vados."
You bow a little and give them a smirk.
"What a pleasant surprise. I was under the impression you're not coming."

"Yeah. That's because I was not notified!
Things were surprisingly quiet so I asked those chumps from the 9th what happened.
Turns out SOMEONE did not bother to tell me!"
Vados begins whistling all innocent-like.
"Don't you look away! You know what you did!"

"I was merely acting to serve you my lord.
You've made such good progress with your weight recently.
I thought it'd be a shame for you to take two steps back after taking one forward.
*sob* *sob*
But it was all for naught!"

"Aw don't be such a drama queen!
This stuff is amazing! How could something so tasty be bad for your health?
In fact, Eric! I hereby order you to make me more confections like these!"

"I solemnly refuse my lord."

"You dare defy my orders?!"

You take out your smartphone and start showing pictures of gutter oil blocks sealing entire sewer tunnels shut.
"I just know better."


"That's fat and oil...
The same thing those are soaked in.
Your arteries will end up like that if you over-indulge. Eating them every now and then in moderation is fine but you REALLY don't want to make it a habit."

Can I have a few of those?
I could use some visual aids in the future!"
Vados floats over to you and leans on you while looking at your phone.
It probably wasn't me because the post that got it was made with a name field left either blank or a "."
Which I didn't do

Either way it seems to work (for now)
But I wouldn't get my hopes up.

That Chinese copypasta about Winnie the Pooh and shit?
>just looked up gutter oil
>That Chinese copypasta about Winnie the Pooh and shit?
Exactly that. They say it's spam, I say it's because they don't want to get cut off from Chinese users.
Yes. Apparently it's "outlawed" but that ain't stoppin' em.
You should look up what ELSE they got. Those fucking chinese are crazy. Concrete pieces in walnuts, artificial eggs, cardboard seasoned, flavored and enhanced so it can be sold off as fried beef or pork.
It's fucking insane
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Yeah fuck that noise, never eating shit if I'm in China.
But as you're trying to show the incomprehensibly advanced being how to search the internet for images on a smartphone Champa snaps at you.
"Hey! Don't you two ignore me!
Anyway, don't get the wrong idea!
I only came because I heard about all the food they are serving around here!
So I sent Vados down and she got me some! Apparently your people are dumb enough to believe she's human! HAH!"

"We are the last ones in this entire universe that can be called "dumb"..."

"But, My Lord.
If that's the case what were those paper slips with all the quotes written on them?
You seemed pretty busy scribbling them down-"



You start shaking your head.
"Y'know. You're both equally as bad and perfectly deserve each other."

"Was that an insult?"

"No, sir.
Just my snark levels being too high is all."

"Well tone it down!
I have a low tolerance for bullshit!"

"Venting snark now sir."

Champa then leans close to his aide and starts whispering in her ear.
"Vados, what's snark?"

"I believe a substance which builds up inside humans.
Highly toxic."

"I see!"

You chuckle a little as you look down at the arena.
>Care to join us? I believe the Saiyans would be honored to share their pavilion with you...
>I got a VIP room set up. You can come if you want to. You can see it better that's for sure
>I'll leave you to it then. If you need me just give me a call
>Care to join us? I believe the Saiyans would be honored to share their pavilion with you...
>I got a VIP room set up. You can come if you want to. You can see it better that's for sure
>>I got a VIP room set up. You can come if you want to. You can see it better that's for sure
>I got a VIP room set up. You can come if you want to. You can see it better that's for sure
And to Vados specifically
>I was hoping to get your opinion on our old masters here, provided they all show up for this
She is our sensei after all.
I like this!
>I got a VIP room set up. You can come if you want to. You can see it better that's for sure

Our little girl will enjoy playing with purple Garfield

>note to self:buy champa all of the Garfield comics
>old masters
Whomst the foomst are those?

I think he might Hakai you after the one hundredth lasagna joke
Bruce lee and the gang
>Whomst the foomst are those?
Well besides our recently undead guests, anybody you can think of who hasn't kicked the bucket.
Oooooh. It was just worded so awkwardly "our masters".
Like they taught you or something
No way, if anything he'll be wondering how they captured his essence and put it into a comic book
I say "Master" to refer to anybody who has genuinely mastered their style. Our best and brightest, so to speak.
Yeah I get it now.
I'm just a brainlet
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Sir I'll have you know it's against the law to impersonate a federal official.
Allow me to demonstrate my specific qualifications.
[spoilers]When I was 6, I was dared to grab the tailpipe of a running car and held on for a good 7 seconds.[/spoiler]
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I once forgot a glass pitcher of tea I wanted to make. It got cold so I couldn't dissolve the sugar inside, so I decided to heat it up... over the stove, since it didn't fit in the microwave. You can guess what happened.
Worst part? It was only a few years ago
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Oh well we were all dumb as shit as kids-
>It was only a few years ago
I was tired and thirsty.
Figured if I did it just a little, it'd be enough to dissolve the sugar without damaging the glass, since it was pretty big and sturdy.
I way underestimated the power of thermal expansion
>I way underestimated the power of thermal expansion
Ay you just gave me a great idea for our next technique.
Just fucking heat their brain up till it explodes.

Boy is this gonna be a shitshow
"Say... Wouldn't you rather watch this from someplace comfy?
I got a VIP room set up where the others are hanging out. You can come if you feel like."

"Hmmmm... I dunno.

"It'd certainly allow us to see the action a bit better."

"But I don't really care about that-"

"We also got soda."

"Well why didn't you say so?
Come on Vados! We're moving!"

"Right away my l-"

You shout at them.
Though it was your idea, it's still not a really good idea to let ANYONE actually see them.
"Allow me."

With a simple motion, like drawing a curtain, you tear open a hole in space which leads straight into the room in question.
Champa smiles at this and takes the lead.
"Neat. Let's go Vados!"

Once the both of them are through, you follow them through the portal and promptly close it behind yourself.
But it seems that those few seconds when you took your eyes off of Champa, something ALREADY managed to get fucked as he's now pointing forward with his cheeks swollen with air.
H-Hit! You look ridiculous! HAHAHHAHAAHAAA-"

The assassin simply gives him a cold stare and Champa promptly shuts up.
While he's busy pretending he didn't say anything and the others are begrudgingly accept that now he's also here, you go and set up two more chairs for the two gods.
Upon sitting down, Champa immediately turns to Caulifla and starts bargaining with her about snacks.
"Hey! I want some popcorn!"

"I'll give you some if I get some of that onion!"


As the two start chowing down and you rummage through the fridge for some drinks, you notice Lyn sneaking up on Champa and preparing to jump on him.
Before you can speak up, it's already too late and she starts scratching the large, fat cat behind his ears.
The reaction is about what you expected... at first.

"Heeee Garfield!"

"What do you think you're-
Oooooh that's nice..."

"C-Come on Lyn! No need to bother Cham-"

Champa then looks you straight in the fucking eye with the coldest, most murderous stare you've ever seen from him.
"It's Garfield!"
Then he picked up Lyn and let her ride his shoulders while simultaneously petting his head.
To everyones absolute horror Champa began actually purring, but instead of it being a slight buzz, his girth turned it into something akin to a small engine starting up.

"H-Have you ever seen a reaction like that Vados?"
You whisper to her shit scared.

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Forgot Pic

>Also fuck dynamic IP
While you're making a mental note to actually get some Garfield comics to enlighten Champa a bit, you turn to Vados who seems more interested in the matches themselves.

"Just one."
As you crack open a cold one with her she starts musing about the contestants.
"Interesting. I sense few more powers than I anticipated.
They are quite a bit higher than the norm."

"Well yeah, I managed to get those spirit fighters-"

"I'm not talking about them."

"I don't really know much about them.
But it seems like I got them in my bracket. So we'll see.
However I was curious about your impressions. Regarding those that are dead."

"Yes. I sense them.
How long have they been dead?"

"I don't know their exact dates but... hundreds of years-"

"I see."

"And one of them only a couple decades ago."

Vados seems curious about this.
"Strange. One would expect one of the powers to be smaller than the rest.
But they all feel relatively the same. So whoever this person is, he managed to overcome the hundred year gap in relatively short time."

"Well... that's not so surprising.
Unlike the rest he was a proper martial arts master. The rest of them are more accurately described as "fighters".
So I imagine King Kais teachings stuck much better with him."

She then returns her attention to the arena where some chumps are currently duking it out.

>Tell her about King Kais apparent plan and what her take is
>Turn back to Champa and make sure Lyn is not testing his patience
>I hope you're not looking for trainees...
Due to IP fuckery and needing to pack soon I won't post anymore from here.
So... see y'all in about an hour and fifteen minutes, I guess
>Tell her about King Kais apparent plan and what her take is
>Tell her about King Kais apparent plan and what her take is
>Tell her about King Kais apparent plan and what her take is

Cat needs to be leaft with the purest of kids and the other questions just makes look insecure sooner or later she will need an aprentice that actualy wants to ne next go of D. (Likely not for a while still tho.)
>>Tell her about King Kais apparent plan and what her take is
>Tell her about King Kais apparent plan and what her take is
I'm glad we got good beer for our buddies and not AMERICAN PISSWATER
t. American

I don't think anyone will contest you on that.
American beer is basically water
As a blue blooded true American i have to argue that while you’re not wrong, our beer isn’t terrible just lesser by comparison
"Say... are you aware of what King Kai is planning?"

"He's planning something?"

"Well... I think he is?
Basically it seems like he instructed the spirit warriors to teach those they fight about Ki and controlling energy.
At least... that's what it looked like with Pier."

"Ah. I didn't see that.
I had to do a food run for Lord Champa."

What do you think?"

"I think it's possible."

"No, I mean what do you think about it?"

"It's a sound idea.

"I don't know.
I'm kinda on the fence about it.
I mean it's good that the knowledge is spreading, I just don't know if we're ready for that."

"Well it's going to happen sooner or later. And the sooner, the better."
She raises her wand to you and starts projecting a little illustration with pictures inside her ball.
"You see, no matter the relationship between two species it is never a good idea to become dependent on another.
To have the Saiyans protect you may seem enticing, however if something should happen to the people of Sadala themselves, or even if something happens that they can't or won't react to in time could spell disaster."

"I get that part. I just don't really think we're ready for such a responsibility yet.
I mean... could you imagine? Average people being granted these phenomenal powers and using it to serve their own ends?
What if someone decided that their definition of justice is better and so they take things into their own hands?"

She taps on her little crystal ball to draw your attention to it once more.
"To start nurturing something, first it must start growing!
Even just a week ago, this may have been a problem. But now that you have a Guardian, he can educate and guide you!
And if not... well we can just nip the problem in the bud."

"But... Jih is not violent."

"I did not mean him."

You turn to look at her and see that devious smile of hers.
"Y-You mean me?!"

"Of course!"
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No offense but I drank beer made out of rice that was preferable to yours
Bitch, dats cuz you drink the store bought stuff

I guarantee that our craft beers are better than anything you got
>Eastern Europe
Fren, our store bought stuff is better than your craft beers
No he's right. Besides if you need to go craft for it to pass minimum quality of not piss to good then I quite think our beer sucks. Besides when I was visiting baltic sea countries I actualy liked store bought stuff belive it or not.
"You are the perfect deterrent dear!
Tell me, who'd ever think of abusing their power when the thought that you could descend anytime from the heavens and ruin them for it is a possibility?"

"The thing is... I don't have that kind of a reputation!"

"Don't you?
Here... let me show you.
Plant, Arkosia, Kanassa and even Earth.
There are people on all of them who both fear and revere you."


"Isn't it obvious? Because you're strong.
And the weak should fear the strong. For if they don't, they die.
Sure, people on these planets might revere you... but they also have fear in their hearts and rightfully so."

"But... I don't mean them any harm!"

Vados then reaches up and gently pats your cheeks, like a mother reassuring her child.
"Of course you don't! But that's not what matters!
There are large, strong animals that will let the small ones pick bits of scrap out of their teeth, does that mean it won't harm them? Of course not.
Never forget Eric. No matter how docile it may seem, there is never a 100% chance for a strong, vicious animal to not attack you!
If you approach one with that mentality, you're a fool. You can lower your guard around a tamed beast, that's called bravery. But not preparing for the possibility of it attacking you is called foolishness."

"Shit. It really be like that, huh?
This is like my... how many responsibilities am I at?
Chef, fighter, single-parent and now Nuclear deterrent. And I'm only getting paid for one.
This economy sucks."

"Don't look at me!
When you strive for greatness, sometimes you have to bear its burden!"
Vados then slowly turns her head as she notices some buzzing going on in the arena.
"Oh would you look at that! Speak of the devil and he shall appear!
It's Kamins turn already!"


>Hey Lyn! Start rooting for your sister!
>Let's go Lyn! You wanna see Kamin from up close?
>Better leave it be. She's having fun with Champa
>Hey Lyn! Start rooting for your sister!

Bring it to her atention but cat needs its minder near by.
>Hey Lyn! Start rooting for your sister!
>Let's go Lyn! You wanna see Kamin from up close?
Best not to draw attention to the VIP booth
>Hey Lyn! Start rooting for your sister!

>we give the girl the Same treatment we gave our boy, an air of expectation and nothing else
>Let's go Lyn! You wanna see Kamin from up close?
>Let's go Lyn! You wanna see Kamin from up close?
>Be good and we can grab some treats for Garfield after her match
>>Let's go Lyn! You wanna see Kamin from up close?
>>Be good and we can grab some treats for Garfield after her match
Looks like the option actually won

Also please, roll some dice.
Best of 4
DC:3 Crit: 15
Rolled 13 (1d21)

Rolled 12 (1d21)

Rolled 18 (1d21)

Rolled 3 (1d21)

Rolled 21 (1d21)

my feelings exactly
So close. But hey, still crit!
But it could have been so much more som, so much more
You stand up from your chair and after walking up to Champa, lift Lyn up from his shoulder and put her on yours.
"Say bye to Garfield for now-"

"Bye Garfield!"

Champa looks like he really wants to say something about it but forcibly swallows it when he sees Caulifla and Kale giggling at him from afar.
Creating a portal, you leave and appear somewhere obscure, so nobody sees the secret room and eventually walk out into the light roughly around the first row of seats.
This entire line has been purposefully packed full of Saiyans so their ambient energy can cushion any extra force that might "leak out" of the ring and hurt the audience.
A subtle but important decision.

And as a nice little bonus, the Saiyans are good sports about letting you get a good look at the ring with your kid.
Lyn enthusiastically waves at her sister and you simply give her an affirming nod as Kamin looks back at you.
She gives the two of you a thumbs up as she steps into the ring, brimming with confidence.

You've seen her brother capture the hearts and minds of the all spectators with his David and Goliath like fight!
Can she do the same? Or will her brother have to avenge her fallen sister? Will we see a brother-sister match in the quarter finals? Only one way to find out!
But please! For now let's welcome our other youngest contestant: KAMIN!"

She has just as much, if not more sense for theatrics as her brother so she starts bowing left and right to take in all that adoration.
As the cheers of the crowd grow weaker however the announcer gets back do doing his job and turns around to her opponent, a lady.

"But let us not forget about her opponent! Who might very well put a stop to all of this!
She is the arabian Baba Yaga! She is the jewel of the middle east!
A master of Krav maga, she's fought on more battlefields than most of us know!
Please... Welcome to the ring! Nylah the Annihilator!"

"Pffft... bunch of hot air is what that is."

"You said something daddy?"

"No sweetie.
Just keep rooting for your sis!"

>Krav Maga
So she's either the deadliest fighter here or some McDojo tier shitter
She's a black belt, not the highest grade, but not the lowest either
The middle-eastern lady walks up to Kamin and looks down at her.
"I thought they didn't let little girls enter."

"Yeah. So did I, but here you are."

But I'm not the one wearing spandex."

Kamin starts patting her jacket.
"I don't know. I like it. Makes me look kinda like a hero don't you think?
It even comes with a red jacket! So people can not see when I bleed-"

"Don't you dare-"

"And I see you came prepared as well! You brought brown pants!"

The scarred brown ladies eye twitches nervously but after a deep breath she calms herself down.
"I won't be gentle.
You better prepare yourself and surrender.
Do you understand little girl?"

Bouncing around on her feet Kamin starts limbering up and strikes a fighting pose.
"Yea! Question is, are you?"


Not wasting a moment, Kamin immediately goes on the offense and attempts to duck under one of the arm swings of the lady and land a rising kick on her torso.
But when she attempts to do a hand-stand she sees the left palm of Nylah open and waiting for her leg.
Fingers wrap tightly around her feet as her opponent gets a hold of her and begins pulling her body up.
"I watched your brother fight! Don't think that will work on me girl!"

Kamin crosses her arm, bracing for the upcoming punch but finds nothing coming.
Looking up she sees and feels the lady pulling her closer, as she attempts to place the entirety of her body weight on Kamins leg.
Should they fall the weight of her opponent pushing her one way and the impact with the ground pushing her in another... that would most likely break her leg!
But since she's not human...
"Oh no!"

Twisting her upper body as hard as she can, with near superhuman agility Kamin manages to twirl around so hard she actually twists her own leg out of Nylahs arm.
A maneuver like that would leave a human in great pain, it might even dislocate their leg... so she'll have to put up an act.
"Ah... that smarts..."

"Your reflexes are superb."
Says her opponent as she stands up and dusts herself off.
"But you're a poor actor. Who taught you?"

She grins.
"My dad.
And... I learned something else from him as well."
Raising her "bad" leg off the ground, Kamin now balances herself on one foot and after doing a little flourish with her arms she invites Nylah for another go.
"Come on! I won't mess up again!"

"Cocky little..."

Nylah charges her, unleashing the famous relentless offense of her martial arts style.
Extending her hand she attempts to simultaneously hit Kamin and grab hold of her so she can slam the poor little girl into the ground.
All the while she's positioning her arms so that any and all counter attacks could be immediately blocked or redirected.
And Kamin weathers it like a champ.

Opening her palms she began "slapping" away her opponents attacks while dodging the grapples.
Now exclusively using her legs for mobility, she uses only her upper body for defense.
You weren't sure what she meant at first by "learning from you" because you sure as hell didn't actually train her.
But as you observe her it becomes more and more obvious.
She's tiring her opponent out!

With no movement wasted, Kamin uses as little energy as possible to assume an absolute defense against her opponents offense. And it looks like it's working.
Nylah starts becoming, not sluggish but sloppy. Her movements are less focused and precise as they were at the beginning.
The nimble little Tuffle got her on the ropes.

*pant* *pant*
"WHY? Why do my punches keep missing?!"

"Absolute offense against absolute defense.
The only way for you to win is to not attack me.
So... what will you do now? I can still keep going!"
And now she's goading her into an attack, if she falls for it-

She was by no means out of the fight, not by a long shot. But that attack sealed the deal.
Kamin vaults over her opponent and after twirling around in the air lands on her feet and strikes Nylah in the back... with an open palm.
It doesn't quite have the impact yours does, not even close, but it still did considerably more damage than a palm strike has any right to.

Briefly stumbling, Nylah looks up with utter confusion settling on her face.
She pants with saliva splattering under her as she gasps in pain.
Kamin meanwhile smiles at her like she's some sort of predator that just caught its prey.

>Remain silent.
>Stop playing with her and finish this!
>Stop playing with her and finish this!
A palm to the jaw would have had her on her ass for the count. She's just toying with her at this point.
>Stop playing with her and finish this!
>Stop playing with her and finish this!
>Remain silent.

Trust her to do the right thing here. She might teach her opponent a thing or two. If she fucks up we can talk with her later.
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Too people don't seem to share your sentiment.
Eric will never realize his fate as a proper boomer dad at this rate


She turns to look at you nervously.

"Stop playing around with her and end this!
You could've knocked won with that last one!
No need for bravado!"

"Sheesh... It's not like I was the one that gimped us with all these restrictions.
Do you realize how hard it is to move around on one leg?
She looks down at her feet and shrugged.
"You heard the old man. Time to loose."

"N-No! Wait-"

But there was no more waiting.
The girl sighed and while her opponent was still on all fours, grabbed her and pinned Nylah to the ground, using not raw strength but the raw pain that comes when applying enough force to certain body parts.
"Hey ref!
Do you wanna start counting now?"

"O-Oh yes!
The referee continues all the while Nylah screams for mercy, she really didn't want to give up.
But soon enough the countdown hit ten and the match was officially concluded.
"Well ladies and gentlemen! It seems young Kamin did not give her brother a bad name! SHE IS THE WINNER!
In fact, if things go like this we may very well see a twin battle soon enough!
Now we only have one fight remaining, then we'll have ourselves a little break but then we'll continue with a whole new batch of contenders! Oh I can just FEEL the excitement in the air!"

However as the announcer was continuing his speech to rile up the crowd your other little girl fake-limped off stage and came up to you.
"Buzzkill... I was doing well too."

You pat her on the head.
"You did well. Just don't play with people next time, okay?
You don't want to be a big bully."


"See? Lyn agrees."

"Sorry Lyn. Didn't mean to upset you.
I just got a bit carried away is all."

"Heh. I'm sure you'll be forgiven. And I can't exactly fault you. I'm guilty of the same thing.
Speaking of which, when did you learn my moves?"

"Eh... I haven't learned them yet.
I just started imitating you... a little."

Let's find Oren now.
I think you all earned a little cotton candy."
Aaaand I think that'll be all for today.
I'm sorry for the earlier hiccups. I'll try to arrange things so I don't host on workdays from now on. Because that was a big pain in the balls

I hope to see y'all next time, which should be in about... 3 days?
Yeah. That sounds good
See ya Nega-Som, hopefully shit goes smoother but I'm glad we could get a short run in today.
Thanks for the run, Nega-Som!

Do any of the Saiyans aside from Cabba have any inkling of who the Twins really are?
Caulifla and Kale do.
But my memory is foggy on the subject.
Nobody else does however
So YouTube plopped this dumpster fire on my recommendations again after all this time and despite of my better judgement I just couldn't help but listen to it again.


But more importantly, it got me thinking: which of the girls has the best butt? In fact, what preference does Eric even have on the matter? I assume as a martial artist he's come to appreciate tighter butts sculpted through hard work and training, but he'll never not be trash enough to completely let go of the joocy thiccness...
He has no strong preference. Butts are not his turn-on.
But he still follows the old Confucian teachings:
>A girl with all tits but no ass fills your hands
>But a girl ass and no tits, fills your heart
>Power level

He's all about them monkey fusion girls.
Unbased and bluepilled Eric

Ass is life
He has a taste for something... worse
Something so depraved and deplorable I'm not sure I can even post it
So to avoid the wrath of the jannies I'll try hiding it
He's into cuddling and hugs
Speaking of hard working and tight butts. Have one.
Aw, hell yeah!
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Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuucking dayumm!
This picture is making me... aroused... and ANGRY!
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But this reminds me.
I picked up Dragon Ball multiverse recently.
It's super campy and so inconsistent with its art it physically hurts to look at sometimes.
But it's actually kinda fun
>Pic related
>Brawank intensifies
Seriously though, even if he doesn't identify as an ass or tits man, even if he's perfectly happy with the girls the way they are, even if he really is just a big ol' cuddleslut, it seems odd that he doesn't have SOME sort of preference for when he has no hard data to work with. Like, if he was being forced to answer on pain of Hakai, he'd probably be able to come up with SOMEthing, right? If nothing else, an omake with Sam pestering Eric about this for the billionth time might be worth a laugh, especially if Caulifla, Kale, or other interested parties happen to overhear and eagerly (anxiously?) stick around to eavesdrop on his response.
Yeah, I realized after posting that fetish =/= preference.
As for what actually turns him on... you may have already seen it actually.
But I'll bite. I'm gonna need something to give me sanity during work or my frenzy meter will fucking skyrocket and make me go berserk

I was gonna ask what Brawank means.
But as I just wrote down Bra with a capital B, I immediately realized.
At least they have no illusion about what she is. Hell they pretty much play up how horrid she is, getting full mind controlled by Babidi, constantly being a self centered, unhinged, uncontrollable bitch and all.
Honestly, those armor wearing gits infuriate me more. They are the one thing that never appeared in canon in any way, shape or form, yet SOMEHOW they are prelevant in all universes? Bra is at least somewhat grounded in canon, these guys are full blown Original Character Donut Steel level
>gets arm blown off
>lol senzus
Yeah, the armour wearing faggots are the worst.
>our entire planet was destroyed by our Superweapon?
>it could basically end the universe if something broke the containment?
>let's just keep using it lol
That and their abilities are bullshit. Muh God Blade.
>other interested parties

Rides full man ,no more passengers allowed on the Eric train

Maybe vados if monkeyfus are all cool with it but that's it, no more room in our hearts
You realize that could just mean being curious, trawling for possible compliments, or just looking to pick up some juicy gossip, right? Hell, even if anyone else WAS romantically interested in Eric, that hardly obligates him to reciprocate when he's already got his hands full with no less than three exceptional Saiyan women.
>Senzu regrows arms
Bull. Crap! Motherfucking Future Gohan couldn't regrow his arm with them!
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Also, I got a quest for you folks.
I can't access twatter good from here.
So could you go and fetch a higher res version of this pic? I need it... for reasons
>Future Gohan
I never looked too closely at it, but it felt as if that was more a poorly handled exception to the rule for the sake of drama. Like, I think the problem was that about half of his last senzu had been ruined by the battle, and he had to choose between regrowing his arm and hoping the crumbs could save Trunks... Or vice versa, giving Trunks the senzu to save him and hoping he himself could survive on just the crumbs. Once he did, the arm stump healed over, and the senzu doesn't work on injuries that have already healed and scarred.

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>literally all they needed to do was have her reattach the arm and it would've been fine.

Watch that disembodied arm turn out to be a plot point.
In a quarter of a year because of another fucking special chapter.
Best I could do from my phone on short notice while typing up my paper:
My mistake. I did some research and Future Gohans timeline had NO senzu beans what so ever. And it was said that Gohan could regrow it if they did... though that was said by Trunks who's not really an expert on the subject.
But since it can regrow teeth, like Videls after Spopovich Netorared her

Still until it's actually SHOWN to do that I'll remain a "bit" skeptic but open to the possibility
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Perfect. Thanks anon!
Run it through waifu2x if you want it to be even bigger!
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>Never heard of it
>Check it out
>Machine learning AI specialized in enlarging anime girls
This is indeed the best timeline!
Between that and saucenao you'll rarely have to worry about being happy with subpar images in your possession; just trade up and enhance as necessary!
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I've posted the first one before but Imma dump the rest of the images I found.
Spoilers will be in place for those who don't want to see the surprise
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I fucked up...
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One more time.
No brainfart edition!
Does Cabba ever yearn for the sheer confidence that he had while fused with Eric? The raw skill and efficiency afforded to the combination?
That's spoiler talk mate
During those couple of days before the tournament when not much has actually happened, some things did... some things better left forgotten.
One such event was what Sam calls the "annual let's annoy the shit out of Eric day".
When he'd go over the same routine time and time again, expecting a different outcome from all the previous ones.

"Tell me."


"Tell me!"


"Just tell me! Please?"


"Bro, I told you mine! It's only fair if you reciprocate!
How do you expect to take our broship to the next level if we don't share it with each other?"

"First off, I never asked for it.
Second, you liking to eat ass doesn't mean much when the last, and pretty much only time you made contact with a butthole is when you wipe... doesn't actually mean much."

"Oh like you're any better!
Come on! We can find mutual friendship and camaraderie in each others preferences!
Or... is it that you're a filthy boob person? *GASP* Or a foot fetishist!"

"Fuck off."

In that moment a couple of rather unwanted "guests" popped in the room with a loud greeting.
"What's up ding-dongs?
Hope you haven't been touching dicks behind my back...
'Cuz I'll be real mad if you do shit like that when I'm not around."

"Oh hi Domi."
Sam waved back and so did Eric.
"Wait! Are those the monkeys outside?"

They came over to do some shopping. Magazines and books mostly but we went window shopping as well.
I like 'em. They are fun! Don't you loose them Eric."

"Not planning on it."

"So what are you faggots up to anyway?"

"I'm trying to get Eric to confess about his preferences."

Dominika then jumped on the couch and looked at them.
"Ooooh now THAT is a good one!
I'm curious as well!"

"You too?
Christ... And I thought that Sam was just acting queer again.
Now I see it's a fucking epidemic!"

"Come on... You managed to score two alien chicks!
At this point you gotta wonder what drove you to that?
My money's on xenophilia, just attraction to anything out of the ordinary.
Either that or muscles, you filthy, filthy boy. I bet you imagine licking sweat off of their juicy little abs and suckling on them like teats!"

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Seeing their reaction Dominika sighed.
"Bummer. I thought for sure that was it."

"Forget it Domi.
Bastard is stubborn as a mule."
"I guess our friendship was just not meant to be!"

"I feel for you Sam.
Come on. Cry on my shoulder.
Maybe shit and cum, but do that elsewhere."

"You're both fucking idiots."

As if on queue the Saiyan girls finished whatever they were doing and came inside with their packages and put them down.
"Phew... I'm beat.
And you're saying human girls enjoy this? That was the most painful...
How long was that Kale?"

"Three hours..."

...It felt like ten. But shit that's still a lot.
I just wanted those sports bras and shorts..."

"Ah! Perfect timing!"
Domi got up from the couch and walked up to them.
"Hey girls! Don't you a wonder even a little bit interested what Erics preferences are?"

Kale and Caulifla exchanged a confused look.

"What he likes in a girl."

Kale asked, not knowing what to say.

"I mean specifically.
What body part?"

"Psht... Why would I wonder about that?
We know already. Come on Kale. Let's show these dumbdumbs how it's done!"

"N-Not fair Sis! I wanna do it!"

"Too late!"
Cannonballing on the couch, ass first Caulifla, instead of her usual man-spread, closes her legs and starts tapping her lap.
"Okay, get over here!"

Begrudgingly Eric shambled over, because despite him REALLY not liking how his personal information will be laid bare like that, he wants it EVEN MORE.
Sitting down next to Caulifla he laid his head on her lap and looked her directly in the eye while she was petting him.

Sam and Domi gasped simultaneously.
Ah, so Eric is a headpat slut. I see.
Aren’t we all
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Are you implying something about me you filthy degenerate?
Calm down Shin. Nobody is fooled by your bitch ass

Anyway, while I don't like the idea of it Imma run tomorrow at work.
So look forward to me raging over not being able to post half the time
Okay. I'm officially done.
Toyocuck is really pushing that self-insert shit now.
While I liked the idea of Piccolo and the 'umies getting some love, I can't fucking enjoy a bit of it with his Original Character Do Not Steal shitting on the entire franchise at this point
What a fucking hack
What's happened in DB now? Last I checked with Super's storyline they were dealing with evil magic goatman who escaped from galactic superprison.
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>paying attention to anything past DBS:Broly
You only brought this on yourself.
Same shit really.
Goatman went King Piccolo and wished himself back to full power, started eating planets Galactus style.
But get this (and now I'm really going to get bitter)
>Wasted 1 of Porungas wishes to break out his old jailmates out of prison
>Juiced them up so they are kinda tough?
>He defeated Goku and Vegeta by passively draining their energy
>Now Goku is training with Toyocucks self insert, Merus and Vegeta went to Yardrat
>Meanwhile Goatmans goons visit Earth and it looks like Piccolo and the humans will have to fight them
Here's the REAL scrotum of this cock however
>Merus knows about Ultra Instinct AND how to access it
>Mother fucker has a portal to the Hyperbolic FUCKING Timechamber in a capsule in his pocket!
>And apparently he's Oh my god so STRONK you gais that he NEEDS to go to a separate dimension to fight at full power
I'm done. I'm officially done. Dragon Ball Multiverse feels less like fanfiction than THIS does!
Can't wait for the anime to retcon this shit out of existence
You don't like spacepatrol Angel?
I know I don't.
Oh god Merus. I only read about him the once, then laughed and dismissed him as people blowing things massively out of proportion.

I was wrong. Oh so wrong. God, everything I've read about it makes me glad I massively prefer watching anime to reading manga for series like DBS. I have yet to see anyone saying the manga is better than the anime, aside from the people deluded into believing that it came first and is therefore canon like how DBZ worked (idiots the lot of them).
Truuuust me. NOBODY who criticizes that mary sue is blowing it out of proportion
It's cancer.
I've seen people in the /a/ threads sucking his dick but I honestly can't tell if they are ironic or not
And it's hilarious that some people believe the mango came first...
Tracertaro just thought putting his Whis-tier fighter OC (obviously an angel) into the organization that couldn't even stop Freeza for decades would be a good idea.
Imagine Toyotaro actually doing something interesting with the concept of an intergalactic law enforcement agency without resorting to giving them BIG NUMBERS so they can be relevant when Goku punches whatever villain got rehashed that arc.
Granted, that would require actually wanting to write something besides OC wank fanfiction, but still.
Yeah. Imagine my shock if that hack did something imaginative like I dunno... Portray the Galactic Patrol as actually competent at their job as regular cops?
Like they can generally stop low, street or city level crime super fast and without a problem but struggle with anything above at or above the Ginyu Forces level.

That would've been interesting.
You could still have all these Moro goons flying around the galaxy, sucking life juice out of the planets. So Goku and co. would NEED the background and support the GP can provide.
I imagine the bulk of their time would be spent policing trade routes, busting black market operations, etc...
Yeah basically Interpol but in space.
Having them struggle with anybody Ginyu Force tier or above would make a lot more sense given how we haven't seen this galaxy spanning police force at all since space travel was introduced in the series.
It'd also reinforce what was established with the Ginyu's as well, that they were freaks of nature and the average Frieza Force soldier (read; stronger than a space cop) had a powerlevel of around 1,000 to 2,000.
Not to mention that as cops they'd probably not be at all equipped to handle the Frieza Force in the first place, which would explain why they never actually interfered with his business. It'd be like asking the FBI to stop the China from eating Africa.
Hell... Fucking Virginia was stated to be a "born prodigy" with the highest ever recorded power level of over 10K.
And the Saiyans were on average much less than that! Yet they were STILL Friezas troops of choice when taking over planets. Meaning the GP members are, like you mentioned, at best around 1 to 2 thousand at BEST!
See, I would have had the Galactic Patrol rely more on their equipment than anything to offset any powerlevel gap they might encounter (which would obviously not work after a certain point AKA the Ginyu Force)
Imagine you're a goon with a hefty 3K powerlevel and you're fighting some rookie Galacting Patrol officer.
You're dominating the fighting right up until you he turns on his tazer gloves or whatever non-lethal gadget he has, and you end up in gravity multiplying cuffs or some shit.
"Hey sis!
Nice going!"


The twins bump fists once you find Oren and they start giggling to each other.
With their mutual back-patting over with the boy looks at you.
"So. What's up?"

"Not much. But I hope that victory worked up an appetite for some snacks boy.
Because we're going to go get some cotton candy to celebrate!"

"Eh. Can I just get a smoothie instead?"

"I don't see why not."

Leaving through the air because the crowd has started moving, and fuck that noise, you flew out before the vast majority of the audience even got out thanks to the bottleneck effect.
Making your way to the food stands, you bought some cotton candy and sent Oren off to do the drinks himself.
Once everything was said and done, you jumped into the air and landed on a small outcrop on the stadiums outer wall to avoid unwanted attention.

Almost immediately however various TV crews flock to you like to any of the important participants.
Realizing that you're about to eat something they zoom in with their cameras as you unwittingly start removing your mask.
Looking down at them with a frown you grumble.


"W-What the?!
Have you seen that?!"

"Seen what?"

"Look! He took a bite! WHEN?!"

"Quick! Use the high shutter lens! Get a good look at his face!"
Smirking under your mask you use time-skip again and chuckle as the people down there start loosing their shit.


"And YOU want to tell us not to abuse our powers?"

"Abusing it to get an unfair advantage is bad.
Never said anything about tomfoolery!"

Once the pesky little reporters realize they've been beaten they try their luck elsewhere. You kinda feel bad for whoever they may find.
But out of all of them, one remains on the scene, tapping her feet and looking at her watch real condescendingly.
She doesn't give up easily, you give her that.

But just as you're about to give her a piece of your mind a voice pierces the chatter of the crowd and rings in your ear.
Looking around you see a guy rushing past the flowing mass of people you've been so enthralled by up until this point.
It's the guy you caught taking a picture with the Saiyans ship.

>Go down and deal with both of them
>Talk with the guy just to spite the reporter
>Ignore both of them. You got better things to do
>Talk with the guy cuz bros before hoes

Fuck mainstream media, 4chanel is real news now
>Talk with the guy just to spite the reporter
Fuck the media. The media is full of liars and manipulators who probably qualify as sociopaths.
>Talk with the guy just to spite the reporter
>Talk with the guy just to spite the reporter
At least Yardrat is as kino as I'd hoped. The rest of it can go fuck itself, though.
I seriously wish we chose a Yardrat as Earth's guardian, though, now that we know that every single fucking Yardratian is a fucking MASTER OF THEIR OWN SPIRIT.
>Sup. How do you like the competition these guys with halos sure are going to make it interesting huh.
Even that feels like Toyocuck's shitting up something that was perfectly fine.
"Nuh-uh! Yardrats don't look like that! Despite Goku CLEARLY seeing them on their planet and one being in the ToP! Fuck canon! I do what I want! Now lemme trace Buff Trunks!"
A'ight boys.
I'm liking these and read you loud and clear!
While you do have a point, I'd like to point out that it's the equivalent of being called "Earthling". And in dragonball, "Earthling" encompasses humans and a massive variety of animal-like people.
So I don't really have much of an issue with Yardrat having multiple sapient species on it.
Nonono. MY problem was when those stupid Dragon Quest looking niggas revealed the big thing ALL the fish like Yardrats disappeared.
As if to suggest they were all illusions!
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They went to a less populated area in general, we only actually see two of the short niggas, and the fish niggas actually were present but silent background characters up to the last page, as seen in pic related.
They really blend in though - I had to specifically go back and look for them after their initial appearance because they're so background-tier that my eyes just refused to register they were there. Is this the true power of a Yardrat...?
I 'unno... It still feels insulting!
The fact that you had to LOOK for them, because in the initial shot when they arrived, all of the fish folk REALLY disappeared, is really telling.
"Remember this old thing? Well fuck that! This is mine and this is BETTER! And you better like it!"
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I think the sheer outrage from the war-crimes that Toyotaro committed might be tainting your view on a fairly minor and otherwise inoffensive thing. Looking at it by itself, it doesn't seem all that bad to me. Yardrats are still pretty cool dudes in my opinion.
Oh and of COURSE Piccolo had to act out of character. Letting those obvious villains get away just so the plot could happen.
The real Doctor would've administered a few daily doses to them.

Yeah... you're right.
I'm just incredibly bitter about this faggot.
God I FUCKING hope we won't be seeing any Super Saiyan 5's or other gay shit
As the guy approaches you take a good look at the woman impatiently waiting for you.
She looks relatively normal and reserved, giving off a Lois Lane kinda vibe. But you're under no obligation to give her an interview nor do you really CARE about her.
So like in a cartoon, the cotton candy in your hand disappears bite by bite, second by second until it's gone and you get up from your little perch.
"Stay here kids. I'll be right back."


Just as the lady looks relieved you fly past her and land in front of the dude who's been making a mad dash towards you.
"Thanks man! I thought you didn't see me!"

"Nah, I did.
How are you erm..."

"Oh! Sorry! Name's Johnny!"
He nervously extends his hand and you shake it. Though he feels like a limp fish, at least he has some manners.

"So... How are things?"

"Oh you wouldn't believe!
The whole thing blew UP! I was getting CONSTANT mails and requests to do another one!"

"Heh... and?"

"What? No dude!
I wouldn't want to bother you! I'm just glad I got the chance that one time.
Now I'll just stream the competition!"

"Oh really?
How are the views?"

"Eh... many left when they saw nothing special."

You start snickering a bit.
"Well... Just tell them that they better tune in. Because those guys with the Halos? Yeah, they'll rock your world soon enough!"

"Oh I bet!
People got NUTS when they saw them!
How the F did you manage to resurrect the frickin dead anyway?"

"Trade secrets man.
But I may or may not have asked God to help me with it."


"For real.
If you visit the Netherlands you could meet him too!"

"Wow... Every day we get closer and closer to Gods light!"

"Damn straight!"

"But this whole thing is pretty tame over all.
Don't get me wrong, I love fightclubs as much as the next guy but I was... expecting more, I guess?
That Pier guy was definitely the highlight of the whole thing."

"Yeah. But that's the nature of these events.
I think things will pick up from the second bracket onwards.
We got... Two power players in them. One should be quite a spectacle."

"Oh you mean Jeanne d'Arc right?
Damn... Who knew the fucking weebs were right all along?"

"They aren't... they just tainted a poor medieval maiden who doesn't know any better."

Yeah, that DOES sound disgusting!"

"I know!"
I was flipping my fucking shit about that.
The Piccolo I know would have at LEAST kept them on-earth as prisoners for being OBVIOUS SPACE CRIMINALS that tried to GUN DOWN THE FIRST PERSON THEY SAW.
Although to be honest, karate chopping them in half seems even more in-character for piccolo. Wouldn't be the first time he did it to someone.
Yeah. 'Member the Android saga?
He went fucking BALLISTIC against Gero even though he was clearly no threat in a straight up fight.
Big Green would've fucking decapitated those idiots, or like you said, kept them on a short leash
As you start talking about the matches however the guy seems to be getting increasingly nervous.
Eventually he starts visibly sweating to the point that you just feel bad about him.
"Erm... I can't help but notice that something's wrong dude.
Do you need any help?
I mean... it's not a big deal if you want another interview, just wait until the end of the tournament and I'll do a quick-"

"N-No that ain't it.
Y'see... I was trying... to do something.
Something I promised myself and my viewers. But... just like always I fell short on courage.
I can't even BEGIN to try it as I keep tripping on all the spaghetti I'm spilling!"

Fuck. You know that feel. You really, REALLY know that feel.
Poor guy.

"Dude. I get where you're coming from-"

"No offense but... you don't.
I mean look at you! You're a 6 foot tall capital C, CHAD!
I bet you have no problems like I do..."

That. That kinda hurt.
Swallowing nervously you collect your courage and try to reach out to a fellow faggot in need.
"Look. You may not believe me but just a couple months ago I was like you.
I had nervous breakdowns in ANY social situations. Not to mention how I've been a kissless virgin for quite some time now. I only grew these balls you see recently. So believe me... I know where you're coming from.
And if you need some help, just say it!"

"I-I can't dude!
I'm... fucking shaking just thinking about it!
I can't say it!"

>Come on! I'll help you!
>Dude. Just tell me what you need
>*sigh* If you can't even tell me what's wrong I can't help you (leave)
>Dude. Just tell me what you need

We'll give him the resources he needs but our fellow fag better man the fuck up and do it himself
>Dude. Just tell me what you need
>Dude. Just tell me what you need
>Dude. Just tell me what you need
>"Psht... Why would I wonder about that?
>We know already. Come on Kale. Let's show these dumbdumbs how it's done!"
>"N-Not fair Sis! I wanna do it!"
>"Too late!"
>Cannonballing on the couch, ass first Caulifla, instead of her usual man-spread, closes her legs and starts tapping her lap.
>"Okay, get over here!"
Thigh fetish is top tier.
I'm glad our waifus are willing to indulge us in this.
Next time would be Kale I'm guessing, since we're presumable switching between so as to not neglect a waifu?
Rolled 8 (1d21)

Ye. But sometimes both at once. And even more sometimes, Kefla

Anyway. I see your determination to help a bruva out
>writing and QM rolling
Oof that's small. That's real small. Yikes
Roll 1d21
Best of 4
DC: 13
Rolled 10 (1d21)

Oh man
Rolled 21 (1d21)

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>inb4 nat 1
>Share your testosterone with me!
Rolled 20 (1d21)

I'm embarrassed now
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Truly they are best girls. We should return the favor somehow, maybe play with their tails or something?

Best waifu 21 saves us
"Dude. Just tell me what you need!
I'll give you anything you need but the only one that can man up and damn well do it is you!"

The guy seems to be at the verge of tears as he tries muttering.
He eventually fully breaks down and fucking collapses onto his knees right in front of you.
In his nervous twitching he only manages to let out a sobbing:
"I CAN'T!"

This... This is really hitting home. Take away a couple months of grueling "Git gud" and that might be you kneeling on the ground right now.
You feel... angry. Not at him, not at yourself, but at the fact that there are still so many lost souls out there waiting for their time to shine. But whom have been so thoroughly broken they may never realize their time has come.
Your fists tighten reflexively and so hard your knuckles turn white and with a stern look you speak up.

When he looks up he can't quite make out your face as the rising sun is behind your head, giving it a radiant look.
"Now is not the time for crying.
The time has come for you to swallow that nerve, look up and say what's on your mind!
If you can find that courage within you... You too can become like me!
Because I believe in you!"

Though his tears don't stop they do turn, making him look less like a nervous wreck and more like a starving man who's just been given a morsel of food he so desperately craved.

Smirking at how goofy, yet impressive that statement is out here in the open you extend a hand to him.
"Then take my hand! And we'll fucking get you one!"
Hahahaha we just pulled a All Might and Deku but getting this faggot a GF instead. Your a mad lad Not Som.
It better be a monkey girl, this mad lad doesn't deserve to be stuck with no earth thot
That's EXACTLY what he's getting
Monkey girls are superior, yes. Especially if we can help said monkeygirl get a cute tail.
>inb4 it turns out he gets together with the broken hearted PRINCESS OF ALL SAIYANS
Helping the little fella up, you walk away while the somewhat miffed reporter lady watches with a gaze absolutely and utterly filled with confusion.
Giving the guy a napkin so he can clean himself up, you take him somewhere... special.
By experience you know exactly where to look. Any place which serves both booze and meat.
Bonus points if there is a tv with sports being broadcast.

Finding a little pub that's been set up you see not one but several of the bored looking monkey girls looking to alleviate their condition with the consumption of copious amounts of meat and booze, much to the delight of the shopkeepers.
The guy immediately starts twitching again nervously as he looks over the armored amazon ladies.

"Awww come now!
We BOTH know this is what you meant!
Trust me on this one."


>"No buts!" Just push him into talking distance
>"Okay. Just go there and talk to them as if they were guys!"
>"Now... Here's exactly what you should say-" (Write-in)
>>"Okay. Just go there and talk to them as if they were guys!"
This sorta worked with one of our waifus?
>"Okay. Just go there and talk to them as if they were guys!"
>saiyan women are basically all tomboys, so just go in and say hey, if they're interested they'll fucking be upfront about it, you don't have to deal with any mind games from them or anything so just talk my neegus
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>>"Okay. Just go there and talk to them as if they were guys!"
I admit it, you were totally right about Merus.
You don't even need to bring up Goku Black and Zamasu!
>Doesn't do anything to him when he has only about a 10mill powerlevel (which was said to be the highest in the ENTIRE UNIVERSE at that time)
>Or even post ToP Frieza! You know... the guy currently reconquering the entire fucking UNIVERSE?!
Being fair, Dragonball is really, really bad at scaling.
Doesn't. Matter.
Not in this instance.
Merus is a fucking self insert Mary Sue that makes no sense on ANY level! And it looks like Toyocockgobbler isn't stopping anytime soon. Already this nigger is set up as stronger than both Goku and Vegeta!
This is absolutely disgusting
Yeah that's fair enough.
Fuck, the more I think about that piece of shit the angrier I'm getting!
Is this what going Super Saiyan is like?
Anyway... let's change the subject before I suffer an aneurism

Inb4 Merus is El Hermano de Grande Padre
Could look for cute saiyan girl pics if you want?
Please... do
I was gonna use one of Plagues girls but some fresh, cute shit might be in order
another one
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And one more
You try to ease the guys tension a bit.
"Saiyan women are basically tomboys. So just go in and say "hey". They are up-front and honest! No need to worry about mind games, doublethink or any bullshit!
Just go there and talk to them like they are dudes."

"A-Are you serious?"

"Super cereal.
All you have to do is open your mouth my neegus.
Now go! You can do it!"

Swallowing nervously the guy walks up to the table of amazons and almost immediately they abruptly stop their conversation and look up at the guy, flustering him to no end.
"What do you want human? Are you the waiter?"

He glances over to you and sees you giving him a thumbs up.
"I uh... Hi! I'm Johnny! I was wondering if you... if-erm... if I could join you?"

The girls smirk with a devious glint in their eyes and they shuffle a bit tighter so there's enough room for one more.
You can hear them snicker and giggle all the way from here and close your eyes, preparing for the worst.
Johnny looks beet red and it's clear that his heart is currently beating in his throat.
However he collects his courage, swallows his circulatory organ and sits down.
Strangely enough the girl next to him seems just as surprised as he is and you can hear the rest of them "Ooooo-ing".

He sat down next to Shuirika!"

"This human sure has balls!"

"Eh... hehehe... heh..."

Almost immediately the girls start breaking the ice so the dude doesn't have to worry about it.
"Hey. We've been trying to order things but we don't know what these are."

"Oh? S-sure.
What would you want?"

They all roar up.

"And drinks!
Lot's of drinks!"

"Erm... okay. What do you want? Liquors or cocktails?"


"Oh wow.
Johnny then raises his hand and asks one of the waitresses over.
"We'd like... one two three... eight-"
He cautiously looks over to you, so you send him some telepathic messages.
"TY! We want EIGHTY BBQ Ribs. And 8 pints of beer!"

He looks nervously at the girls and starts sucking his teeth as he realizes what sort of a bill he'll have but his worries are quickly dismissed.
"Aren't you gonna order something?"

"Yea! This one's on us! Since you helped!
Come on! We got plenty of these papers from your government!
Drink with us!"

Dunno if you want more but I liked this one.
Oh also found a good Kale one while I'm at it. Not relevant to pichunt but, well, I like Kale.
Nice get.
It's so fucking hard to get good Kale pictures, it's ridiculous
Well that seemed to have taken care of itself rather easily.
And good thing too. A fed Saiyan is a happy Saiyan. Plus some liquid courage could help the guy bro it up with the girls.
Washing your hands you conclude your duty fulfilled.
"Man. I never thought I'd be a wingman. Much less to a total stranger."

But as you leave a somewhat familiar face stops you.
It's the same lady as before, now without her equipment or crew.
"What was that? Why did you do that?!"

"Poor guy just wanted a chance.
I gave it to him. If he fucks up from this point onward, that's on him."
Looking back you smirk a little.
"But I sincerely doubt it'll come to that."
She stares into the place through one of the windows, seemingly lost in thought.
"I hope we won't have a problem with you publishing this story..."

"Without consent? No thanks. Not looking to get sued.
Plus... I don't think this needs to be a story. That's his own."


"But I don't understand.
I thought you're just a brute-"

"I may be. But I'm not JUST a brute.
Nor are they. Simple, sure. But they are good people.
They like good food, a good fight, good fun and good friends.
We could learn a thing or two from them."
Leaving her alone you give her one last shout back before returning to your kids.
"And I'd stop gawking if I were you!"

Flying back to where you left Kamin, Oren and Lyn you get greeted by them immediately.
"What did you do?"

"What is this, an interrogation?"

"It's just that every time you disappear it's like someone flipping the table in a poker game... and then changing the kind of game we're playing!"

"Can't help that I'm just the monkey-wrench in the workings of the universe.
Also, I don't appreciate your smug tone missy."

"What are you gonna do? Spank me?"

>Better. I can start loudly cheering for "My sweet little girl" during her matches!
>No. That'd be weird...
Also, it's about time I headed home soon.
See you goys in an hour or so
>>Better. I can start loudly cheering for "My sweet little girl" during her matches!
>Better. I can start loudly cheering for "My sweet little girl" during her matches!
>I could never do that, everyone knows that the Dad is the fun one. I would, however, call your Mother over to do it.
That's right. An entire planet will psychically spank her if she keeps acting up!
>Better. I can start loudly cheering for "My sweet little girl" during her matches!
>Better. I can start loudly cheering for "My sweet little girl" during her matches!
>Betcha I can get someone to make up baby pictures to show everyone too.
I know, it's very annoying.
And of the ones I do find, a lot of nudes so not like I can post them.
OKAY. I'm back!
Dadding it up I see! Good

And even those are fucking cursed.
Seriously, you can't find a solo of Kale that's decent, not to mention good. Only with Caulifla and even then there's a 50/50 chance of it being the lowest tier tumblr infested garbage
idea about the baby pic threat we use giant illusions where every one can see them
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bonus point's if it happens while johnny's streaming mean's it get's to 4chan and then from there all over the god damn place every website worth a damn and all over the news
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"Oh no. I wouldn't do that. Everyone knows Dads are the cool ones.
Your mother though..."

"My mother is a planet."

"And if I got every single person on it to stand in line?"

"Not funny."

"Oh really?
Then how about this for a joke?
I'll stand on the railings and start cheering for my bwabby giwl!"

"Y-You wouldn't!"

"Wouldn't I?"
You open a portal and withdraw a can of monster energy zero ultra and crack it open.
After taking a sip you smack your lips.
"Aaaaah. I'm waaay beyond giving a damn! I don't even live here anymore.
Hell. I'll start showing off your baby pictures!"

"My... what?!"

"I'll psychically project an image of you as a baby for the WHOLE world to see!
Hell it'll be a perfectly good way of "proving" you're human."

"Okay! OKAY! I'll stop! Jeez!
Just... don't put that image in my head.

"Ah! Anyway. Let's get back inside. Things might start any second now."

And so you do.
The first fighter will be Jeanne of all people and you don't wanna miss that for anything.
Going back through the clearly superior method of flight, you land behind the last row of seats so you get to stand.
With your superior senses it's really not a huge deal to watch from this distance anyway.

Let us continue with our grandiose tournament!
We have another treat for you this time! Back from the literal dead to show us the limits of the human body-"
You let out a snicker at that.
"One of the most famous heroines of history! Joan of Arc!"

The crowd goes fucking wild as she takes center stage with her halo and all.
Several people even raise giant sheets of paper with "WE LOVE YOU JEANNE" written on them. All caps of course.
Where did they even get those? Did they just make them?!
Her opponent you don't pay much attention to. His presence barely even registers on your radar, although it is strangely fluctuating minute amounts.
Obviously he's seen the fight with Pier and now he's shitting himself in fear of the small girl in front of him.

"Do not be alarmed.
I'm not going to hurt you."

"H-Heh... really?"
Jeanne nods.

Almost immediately the girl extends her hands and begins focusing. Her aura flares up like incandescent, holy radiance and envelops her body as she floats a few inches off the ground.
Her energy begins to shift and move around as she extends her hands and creates a ki blast in the shape of a spear.
"E-EEEERRR... Ladies and gentlemen, it appears Jeanne d'Arc has created a weapon out of thin air!
Is she even allowed to do that?"

The announcer looks at the Saiyans, more specifically King Sadala who has a "This is quite impressive" look on his face right now.
He seems to ponder on the details of this ability and waves her hand.
"It's made out of her own energy. It's fair game."

"Weeeell... YOU HEARD IT FOLKS!"

Meanwhile Oren just scoffs at this.
"Pfft. Look at her showing off.
Sure, she has impressive enough control to shape her energy.
But if she just shot a ball out it'd be much more practical and efficient."

>I agree.
>I... wouldn't write that off
I mean logically there's gotta be a reason someone high-tier like Zamasu does that, right?
Or Future Trunks.
>I... wouldn't write that off
>I... wouldn't write that off
>>I... wouldn't write that off
Ki weapons are bullshit done correctly/
>I... wouldn't write that off
>Plus at this stage everyone can aford some harmles show boating. Not like all of Krens acrobatics were that difrent in concept as just punching or pushing the guy was an option.
>>I... wouldn't write that off
>while it would be more eficient to just use a ki blast, if her fighting syle uses weapons, then it is a very handy technique to have on hand
>I... wouldn't write that off
>i want you to imagine a weapon that you can control with both body and mind and she can probably channel attacks though it like if someone was to tough for a blast to be effective she could stab then blow them up
>>I... wouldn't write that off
When you throw a blast it just disperses and that energy is gone right? But it might be more economical to keep it around and swing it a few times.
>I... wouldn't write that off

Ki focused into a point has different properties than a ki ball which tends to explode.
Though for different reasons we seem to be in agreement

Also, where did y'all come from?
Was driving home and popped in.

Should have Oren do an internet sweep on the development of weapons versus armor and apply those principles to Ki. It’s probablt simpler to do the Goku/Vegeta way of blasts and ki enhanced punches and kicks, but I’d wonder how a weapon master who achieved the same amount of power would fight. Would the end result be the same as a person fighting barehanded against another dude of approximate physical strength with a weapon?

Which is to say, batshit insane unless you get really lucky.
Erm... I might have drunk a bit too much rum when I got home but unless I'm mistaken-
We saw with Future Trunks that using regular weapons with Ki has its benefits. Like being able to focus all that fucking power into an edge, which could cut Frieza into minced meat.
So it's clearly a viable way of fighting.

Pure energy blades however are more of a Zamasu thing and only Black could really push it into bullshit category because of his OBSCENE Ki control
To be fair, the movies makes it clear that Trunks sword is magical bullshit able to cut evil. Doesn't it only end up breaking when used as the andriods since their mechanical?
I don't consider the movies canon.
Plus it was pretty straight forward.

King Cold claims the sword was bullshit.
But Trunks demonstrates it's not the sword, it's the one wielding it. The androids broke it because they were FAR stronger than Trunks so his Ki just... bounced off of them
But that's just my take
>Goku Black sort of just makes an energy scythe that cuts a rift into "dunno lol" land
>actually it was the Shadow Clone Jutsu rift
Ye... It's pretty fucking obvious the writers themselves did not know where they were going with that.
>Toyotaro-san we made Goku Brracku use a scythu
>Guddo. Now make it leave a big ass scar
>Hai. And now?
>What do you mean now? I dunno just make it create clones or smth I don't care

If it was just a weapon that would've been cool.
But after jumping the shark they kept going... and going... and going... and that was the entire Black arc
It was a pretty neato hint about how Kai-level knowledge about the universe’s inner workings + insane emotional based power could end up doing bullshit D&D level shenanigans.

But then he fused and started doing more asplosions again.
"I wouldn't write it off if I were you."


"I guess it would be more efficient to use a ki blast if you're just gonna throw it. I have a sneaking suspicion she won't.
The second you can use that ki blast more than once you double your efficiency.
Not to mention what happens if she's trained to fight with such a weapon."

"What do you mean?"

"Ki focused like that has different properties. It's stable and doesn't just explode.
So... imagine this. A weapon thin enough to slice between atoms yet durable enough not to break after one swing.
Now imagine if it's a part of your body and you can channel more energy through it. Who knows, maybe she can shoot energy beams out of it as well."

"I... did not think of that."

"Do yourself a favor and look up weapon vs armor development sometime.
I think our primitive, weak asses may have discovered a few things applicable to energy based fighting...
Now watch."

Jeanne then grabbed the shaft of the spear with her bare hand. It's hard to tell exactly how it behaves, because your body is resistant to its own Ki so it's hard to tell if the spear is burning her or not.
But when she starts swinging it around in an 8 formation its properties become clear.
It slices through the concrete of the ring like it was butter but does not explode, nor does it melt anything.
It really is just a physical object and not a lightsaber. But for it to be that well defined, that solid looking...
Oh god. That thing must be DENSE.

Needless to say her opponent must be wondering who shat himself at this point.
Luckily for him Jeanne seems to keep her word.
"Don't be afraid. I see you've been trying to mimic what my friend Pier taught. Good.
But his methods don't fit everyone. Rather than internalizing that energy... project it outward!"

The man screams and throws a punch out.
And actually manages to emit a shockwave out of his fist which Jeanne swats away like it was nothing.
So THAT's what you've been feeling. Motherfucker was trying to unlock his own ki!
"The very essence of your life, which surrounds your body."
Once more her aura flares up and now she slowly performs the same technique.
Paying close attention to it you see the waves of glowing energy recede and crawl up her left arm until they are projected outward.
This... this is not just a slightly advanced ki blast! She's sacrificing her protective coating for superior offense!
"And once you formed a shell... Fill it with your fighting spirit! Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...."

Just like she said the bubble she formed becomes filled with regular ki, giving the sword more mass.
A spear in one hand and a sword in another... And it looks like it might be just a bit too much even for her!
Previously she probably could've used what energy she had in reserve for defense. But now? She's become a full glass cannon!
"Now... *pant* do it after me!"
Rolled 5, 9, 1, 13 = 28 (4d21)

QM rolling
Well hopefuly 13 passes bacic dc...
that doesn't look good...
The man extends his palm and desperately begins focusing but all for naught.
Jeanne sighing in disappointment charges him and starts swinging around the flat side of her sword, effectively turning it into a paddle and the staff of her spear.
With her superior range she begins to dominate the fight as the poor little guy can't even get close enough to her to retaliate.
All he can do is dodge.

To the untrained eye this might seem cruel and unfair. To you and anyone with a semblance of ki, it's apparent she's trying to incite a reaction out of the guy, who's way too terrified to do anything.
"Come! Face me! Raise your sword for justice and fight with your RAGING SPIRIT!"
Jeanne slams her weapons together and prepares to bring both down on the poor sods head.

The guy raises his palm, radiating with Ki, which is just enough to block the incoming attack but not much else.
Seeing the two weapons stopped right in front of him he turns to the judge and begins sobbing.
And just like that he ran out of the ring.

"O-Oh dear!
Did I overdo it?"

You look up and see both Pier and Bruce nervously chuckling in the background.
"That's Jeanne for you. Doesn't know when to take things easy."

"Erm... LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! Looks like we have a winner!
With her opponent clearly outclassed Jeanne d'Arc wins this round!"

Well that was... about what you expected. A clear sweep and not much else.
Luckily after that poor excuse of a fight you got a few boring but serviceable matches until... It was Dominikas turn.
The three Tuffles by your side started nagging you about it.
"Aren't you going to go and meet your friend?"

>No. She knew what she signed up for
>You're right... I should
>>No. She knew what she signed up for
>>that said telepathically wish her luck
>You're right... I should
>Well lets see what she lerned from watching Pear's and Jeanne's fights. Lets see maybe tip or 2 from me will help out her.
>No. She knew what she signed up for
>>You're right... I should
Just out of curiosity
i'm willing to change my vote if we don't go down as the CHAD
seems like a good idea
The pizza boy returns!
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Oh my god! What's wrong with your faaaaace?
Oh yeah I forgot we looked like this at the start.
Honestly, as far as Super's shit animation goes, the worst bit is how tiny that one iris came out
er, pupil*
That's what I was referring to
"Err... just a moment."
Getting out of sight, you removed your mask and switched out your clothes to something a bit more inconspicuous.
Once you're out, with your old outfit, your old hairstyle and your old, slouched posture you look like a completely different man.
The only thing that could give away your identity is perhaps the facial hair. But next to nobody will care about that.
Not when your baggy clothes make you look less fit than you are.
"Okay. I'll pop over and say Hi. Make sure to behave while I'm gone!"
Descending where you know you'll find her, you see the angry slav girl currently rolling around a full bottle of vodka in her hand.

"Oh hey E-JESUS!"
She recoils for a moment but manages to quickly calm down.
"Wow. Like a blast from the past."

"Sorry. Wanted to come down.
Didn't wanna do it in full gear.
How are you feeling?"

"Nervous as balls. Always were before performance."

"Is that what you call it now?

"The ballet can have their queer dances.
Being kickass is my way to perform."

"Well I'm glad you're at the very least enthusiastic about it.
Have you been paying attention to the other fights?"

Gotta gather intel on the enemy.
That's why the first fight will be the hardest."

"Come on. You don't actually believe that."

She pauses, contemplating her choice of words.
"Tell me. What do you think about your... ghosts?
How good are they?"

"I won't know until they show more.
So far... that was nothing."

"And Sam?
Do I have a chance against him?"

You snicker a little.
"Aaaaah... He's the one I can guarantee you have a chance against, no matter how much he improved.
He might have gotten swole. But he's green and sloppy. If you're careful you can definitely manage."

"That's all I needed to hear."
She takes out a roll of bandages and starts wrapping her knuckles.
"You told your little... friends to place nice I assume. That's why they haven't kicked as much ass as Waifubait and Pirate over there."


"Good. Sam will be good practice.
Then French Revolution in the quarters, one of the chibis in the semis and you...
You I don't have to beat."

"That's correct."

"So I got a chance.
Now I just gotta make sure that chance comes true."

"You do realize percentages can't be forced."

"Not with that attitude.
I'll hafta stack the deck and keep stacking..."
"That's not why I was asking though."


"Have you learned anything from them?
Pier and Jeanne?"

"Fun parlor tricks.
I won't bend over backwards and screw my plan over on the off-chance I can figure it out in a few minutes.
Sorry. Not falling for that trick."

"Trick? It's not a trick Domi!
The purpose of this entire tournament-"

I'm sorry if it hurts your feefees but... I don't care?
The purpose of this tournament for me is the prize money."
She points at your chest.
"Saving the world, making things better, fighting for a better future? That's you.
Me? Just... let me drink and squat in peace."

With her bandages done Domi started making her way to the stage.
As the announcer began his shtick, you called after your friend one last time.
She turns around, shrugging.
And she flips you off with a smile as she runs out.
And that's it for this session I'm afraid.
Next session we'll continue, with no further interruptions because I actually ran out of the things I wanted to do.

Tune in to see the equivalent of mud wrestling combined with a MAGIC show
>mud wrestling
You have my attention.
And hopefully also Kale's and Caulifla's, because I want to see if they'd be into doing that
wow she really has no fuck huh? how could someone not care about getting superpowers? she doesn't even have to do anything with them but seriously if she doesn't even try to figure out ki reinforcement she's unlikely to win
Thanks for running, Som!

I wonder what Dominika has in store if she’s not going to try and figure out a way to unleash her Ki? She might have a good chance against Sam since he won’t be going full power, but that might not work real well on the Twins or any Saiyan competitor.
>I'm sorry if it hurts your feefees but... I don't care?
>The purpose of this tournament for me is the prize money.
>Just... let me drink and squat in peace.
God, I just can't bring myself to like her, Biribiri/Moedred or not.
Yeah I'm not a fan.
She's going "lol who cares" about superpowers.
Superpowers that could actually help her in the tournament, at that!
Remember what Not-Som said before? Dom doesn’t want to get involved in these crazy adventures. She probably just wants to live comfortably.
so uh that excuse is bullshit we haven't dragged sam into any adventures and she could say no if we asked she could live her life and be capable of flight/ki blast/low level physical enhancement no problem and even if she still doesn't get powers and wins she's going to be watched at the very least
not-som i ask for an omake staring johnny on 4chan telling them that THE CHAD helped him shag an alien
How about 2?
Nega-Som, if he existed as he is now at the time, how would Eric have fared in the Tournament of Power (before being inevitably bodied by Jiren)? And/or what, if anything, would've changed in it?
Caric + Kefla bodying basically everyone would've been a fun thing to see.
That's uh. That's quite tough to answer simply because of how many things would be different.
So how about I just give a few highlights?
>Hit would've stayed for much longer because unlike the Saiyans, Eric wouldn't have had any of that "Don't help me" bullshit
>Universe 2 would've been... thoroughly buttraped
>Same with U4
>The pride troopers would've been thinned much quicker
>Eric would've gotten his ass whooped by Mr Ayy
>And there would've been a fusion tag-team
Who would've won and how is not for me to say. That would be up to you and the dice
The only thing I know for sure is that only consecutive nat21s would've saved us from Jiren, because he's bullshit like that. And I'm sure Eric being a human would've been popping Goku's fight-boner like nothing else. And something something Kale/Caulifla tails & Vegeta's reaction.
Eric-Hit Fusion: The ultimate Psychic.
I like to think that even Jiren would have trouble with that fusion, simply because of the massive power growth it'd go through on top of the tricky bullshit - two people who have PURE PROGRESS memes stacked together.