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/qst/ - Quests


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OH SHIT NIGGA, you're Fester Winchester, the rootin' tootin' space cowboy, owner of the Marshal. A giant super robot that is also a rootin' tootin' space cowboy. You also died once and is now a cyborg. Shit happens. You're part of a space pirate crew lead by your buddy, Edward Roberts.

Since the last episode, your enemy, the anti space cowboy/pirate Alliance, has sent the toppest tier bounty hunter in the sector after yo ass and anybody related to you and Edward. Which lead to him attacking Rachelle's crew, Edward's space pirate ex-gf. You and the crew decided to assist Rachelle's pirates against the bounty hunter and the Alliance forces. Shenanigans happened and now you and Ed are fighting the bounty hunter in your mechs, in which you were getting your shit wrecked before Edward jumped in and blocked a killing blow. Shieeet.
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>3925622
Focus and Alert, then shoot his ass with the rifle.
>>
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>>3925627
Boom! Your shot hits him and forces him to back off
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>3925645
radio the crew, get them all to converge on Smith
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>3925645
activate marshal beam!
>>
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>>3925650
The other pilot respond. They'll get there after they manage to break off from the Alliance goons they're fighting.
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>3925645
How's the damsel in distress doing?
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>3925672
spiral power
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>3925672
"Fester, we have to do maneuver Romeo-Tango-Pistachio!"
Little does Smith know that this is the code for "make shit up and hope it works out"
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>3925672
provide artillery support
>>
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>>3925684
Smith has wrecked Rachelle's mech's systems. She's trying to get it to reboot
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>3925721
Explain to Smith that the Alliance is playing him. They gave you a bounty on him just like he got a bounty on you.
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>3925721
use spiral power to provide support
with spiral bullets
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>3925721
Ask if she tried to turn reactor off and on again.
>>
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>>3925727
Smith is currently too focused on taking you all down to respond. Beat his ass so he has no choice but to listen
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>3925745
proceed with beating his ass
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>3925745
Last chance to use Spiral Power
We have it! its unbeatable!
>>
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>>3925749
Not for long...
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>3925751
wait a minute op
think of how awesome it will be! THINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES!
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>3925751
USE IT NOW
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>3925751
how soon we'll be sued anyway, better use before people in suits show up
>>
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>>3925754
Damn, that's too unbalanced. Better nerf it
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>3925759
also copyright infringing.
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>3925759
but thats why we can only use it once per session!
>>
>>3925760
well shit cuz uhhh we already used it once while you werent here.....
>>
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>>3925760
Oh shit, a lawsuit
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>3925766
Simon save us with your Donut Steel Hax
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>3925766
Wait, there are no lawyers in Commieland, only commissars. So who' that?
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>3925766
Quickly, OP, show your commie card.
Commies are excluded from the rule of lawsuits
>>
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Rolled 67 (1d150)

>>3925767
The Donut Steel blocked the door! Quick! Roll 2d100 to unleash your Spiral Bullets barrage before the lawyers get in!

You have a +50
Smith has a +30
>>
Rolled 90, 64 = 154 (2d100)

>>3925782
はやく!
>>
Rolled 66, 76 = 142 (2d100)

>>3925782
FOR ANIKIIIIIIII
>>
Rolled 99, 70 = 169 (2d100)

>>3925782
>>
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>>3925783
The barrage hits! Smith is dealt critical damage! He's on his last legs now! Unless he has a healing skill or something i dunno
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>3925802
Use this chance to open comms with Smith before the Alliance inevitably betrays him and shoots us all to death
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>3925802
have one ally do a cancel healing move. You know what I mean... kick him in the nuts to where he feels it.
>>
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>>3925804
Attempting contact...wifi's kinda slow at this time of day
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>3925817
Quickly, before Edward starts smashing him to bits!
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>3925817
just plug in directly, none of the new fangled wifi shit
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>3925817
use bluetooth if you have to
>>
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>>3925822
"Alright. What do you want?"
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>3925847
Show him that his own employers put the bounty on him and everyone else fighting
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>3925851
this>>3925847
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>3925847
"We're all getting played by the anti-pirate/cowboy alliance, they paid you to kill us and us to kill you. We should team up and plant our footprints on their asscheeks"
>>
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>>3925851
"What, I already know I have a bounty on my head. It's from some corporat---" He then falls silent as you show him your research that the Alliance was using that corporation as a front. They were planning for you all to kill eachother
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>3925865
and it all leads to one thing...
SPACE DEER!
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>3925865
inaudible GASP sound can be heard underneath the mask, it's so strong that mask falls off and you can see smith face
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>3925865
Yeah, so we're gonna go find these assholes, beat them up, and rob them blind. You in?
>>
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>>3925869

Unfortunately the mask fell right onto the light switch
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>3925880
He gets especially angry with the name Steve.
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>3925880
blame lack of funds for proper cameo revelation.
anyway, let's join forces or something
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>3925880
he better not turn on the lights to reveal a Batface brother
>>
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>>3925898
Suddenly, an explosion! On the hull of Rachelle's ship!
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>3925906
The alliance has decided to assume direct control
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>3925906
It's more Alliance elite mooks and Rachelle's twin sister!
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3925906
Oh no! What's happening? Did somebody set us a bomb?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>3925906
LOUD CYCOWBOY GASP!
ITS THE ALLIANCE WITH THE REAR DREADED ADMIRAL ....REAR!
>>
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>>3925912
Report from our crew on the Black Horse! An Alliance fleet has jumped out of warp space and is now bombarding both Rachelle's ship and ours! We're surrounded
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>3925933
HELLO AND WELCOME TO DIE - comms from alien leader of the attack
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3925933
Grab Smith and any injured and return to the ship! Use Spiral power to make an escape route! or if not spiral power have bandit hack into one of the enemy alliance ships and open fire on its own!
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>3925933
PANIC
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>3925933
WE ARE ATTACKED BY ELITE SHIPS
get it?! I'll see myself out
>>
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>>3925943
>>
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>>3925939
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>3925946
accidentaly sunk alliance fleet by doing that
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>3925946
>>3925948
"Is that guy always like this" - Smith as he's healing himself
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>3925946
the sudden panic hit Alliance ships in the core due remnant of spiral energy from our last attack. We just discovered a way out through our own stupidity!
>>
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>>3925949
"No....Sometimes he doesn't even need an attacking fleet to be like that"
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>3925956
keep screaming and advance towards enemy fleet
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>3925956
>>3925957
Rest of the crew provides commentary
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>3925956
>>3925950
>>
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>>3925959
"Captain, Fester has jumped into space"

"He seems to also be flailing widly like a maniac. Randomly hitting alliance fighters"

"Whatever works, i guess"

"He seems to also be heading towards the fleet"

"Ah shit"
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>3925965
>>3925961
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>3925965
bandit Borks some sense back to Fester. And comes back to the black horse.
>>
>>3925968
awww thanks anyways...
>>
>>3925969
>sense
>Fester
hahahahaha
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>3925965
This somehow works perfectly
>>
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>>3925969
"Wait nevermind, he's returning to ship"
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>3925977
Oh wait, off he goes directly to the mothership
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>3925977
that's not our ship
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>3925977
This >>3925979
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>3925981
>>3925979
>>3925977
this
>>
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>>3925982
"Nevermind that nevermind. He's returning to the fleet"
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>3925983
frustrated bork
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>3925983
He's deploying... the Big Iron.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>3925983
meanwhile at alliance flagship
>>
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>>3925984
Bandit is now planning your murder
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>3925987
"Join the club." - everyone else
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>3925987
Fester always was more of a cat person anyway
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>3925987
Edward, Smith, & Rachelle figure out how to escape while Fester, Jester, Dai, and Heath & Cliff distract the fleet
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>3925987
Fester doesn't notice
>>
>everyone is smart except for fester
even bandit has been shown to be one of the more intelligent members of the crew at this point
>>
>>3925997
Fester compensates with his hidden potential that nobody, especially his parents, has ever seen any sign of.
>>
>>3925997
Fester unfortunately has /qst/ brain. He can do the occasional clever thing, like expose the Alliance shell corps, but is equally likely to punch himself in the face. Edward risked infection, but his rolls are too good.
>>
>>3926000
Including Fester himself
>>
>>3926003
>Edward risked infection, but his rolls are too good.
Edward outright resisted it
>>
>>3925988
hey dont kill our MC!
>>
>>3925997
Bandit is the smartest of the Crew.
>>
>>3926018
>forgetting Edward
>>
>>3926019
Edward is the most cleaver.
Bandit is the smart boy. and a good boy.
>>
>>3926021
>Edward is the most cleaver.
accurate
>>
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>>3925990
Truly, one of the greatest betrayals of our time.

Anyway, while you were zipping around shooting down Alliance fighter planes, back on Rachelle's ship, Edward is proposing a plan

"We need an opening. Smith, obviously the Alliance has betrayed you, join forces with us and get the fuck out of this barricade. Rachelle, Get your crew together. We can combine the power of your ship and mine to target their flagship. If we can take that down, we'll manage to at least break their formation and morale. Allowing us to either escape, or sweep up the rest"
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>3926025
Combine. Literally.
>>
>>3926025
Fester will be the distraction while the rest of the mechs defend the ships.
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>3926025
Edward tries to connect to Fester and snap him out of his panic
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>3926025
Black Horse AI and Rachelle's ship AI protest working together, as they are also in an on-again off-again relationship
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3926025
Reform in to SPACE LORD OF THE WILD EPOCH
BY MERGING WITH EDWARDS MECH AND FESTERS AND WHO EVER ELSE THINKS THIS IS A COOL IDEA.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>3926025
>>3926031
>>
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>>3926034
"I object, captain! She hasn't returned my calls for months!"

"I also object to this. I found him searching the deep space web for cheap asian AIs"

"......"
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3926045
not this shittu again.
promise them something to get them working for now.
like a body avatar for a ship
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>3926045
Rachelle tells them that she'll give them memory upgrades and muffins to everyone who helps out...except Edward
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>3926045
"FUCKING COOPERATE"
>>
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>>3926046
"Aren't you supposed to be panicking"

"Stay outta this, meatbag"

"He does have a point, AIs. How about we get you a....hologram transmitter or something? That good?"

"Well....."

"errrr"

"Then you won't be "co-operating" or "working together". You'll just be aiming and shooting at the same thing. Would that work?"
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>3926051
>"Aren't you supposed to be panicking"
twas merely an act
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>3926051
>>3926047
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>3926045
Bandit uses he means of persuasion
>>
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Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>3926053
"Sure it was, "cowboy". Sure it was"

Roll 2d100 to resist mental damage from sarcasm
>>
Rolled 23, 31 = 54 (2d100)

>>3926059
>91
PANIC
>>
Rolled 11, 5 = 16 (2d100)

>>3926059
hope for dignity
>>
Rolled 21, 6 = 27 (2d100)

>>3926059
>>
Rolled 84, 15 = 99 (2d100)

>>3926059
>>
Rolled 23, 8 = 31 (2d100)

>>3926059
>>
>>3926069
>>3926066
>>3926065
>>3926064
>>3926063
wow, i guess festers feelings are hurt...
>>
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>>3926066
Fester is hit by a debuff: Hurt feelings.

Everybody in the area, including the enemies, let out an "oof"
>>
>>3926072
All the enemies are so stunned they lose a turn.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>3926072
well as long Fester's depression won't cause him personality split it's not a huge deal.
Also technically that "oof" created an opening for joint attack
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>3926072
>>3926073
forgot my dice
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>3926072
AIs open fire on the enemies while they're sympathizing , because they're assholes like that
>>
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>>3926076
The enemy has lost a turn due to sympathizing
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>3926078
>>3926077
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>3926078
Everyone is sympathizing except Ed, who takes the chance
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>3926078
Now fuse ships to make a wormhole out of this shithole!
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>3926078
everyone hits alliance mothership with all they have
>>
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Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>3926080
Edward scoots over to the weapons control while everyone was busy oofing and...ROLLS A 2D200

+50 bonus for the Black Horse and Rachelle's ship due to catching everyone unawares

Alliance Flagship has +35 defense
>>
Rolled 46, 196 = 242 (2d200)

>>3926091
>autowin
poor flagship never had a chance
>>
Rolled 155, 68 = 223 (2d200)

>>3926091
go, reading comprehension!
>>
Rolled 53, 49 = 102 (2d200)

>>3926091
YOU FORGOT TO TURN ON THE SHIELDS, STEVE
>>
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>>3926094
"WAIT! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! THAT'S NOT FAIR----" - Alliance Commander, moments before being vaporized
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>3926102
But which one was he
>>
>>3926102
>talking about fairness after trying to get two groups to kill each other
wew lad
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>3926102
the alliance fleet, now leaderless, descends into chaos
>>
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>>3926103
Probably Steve, that asshole
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>3926102
>>3926104
>forgetting a roll
anyway, defeat remanining enemies
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>3926108
Remaining alliance commanders try to rally, but >>3926106
>>3926109
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>3926108
I bet he is friends with Mark
>>
>>3926091
i am saving this for my reaction images.
>>
>>3926108
>Steve didn't even get an appearance before being killed
What an asshole
>>
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>>3926112
Of course, Mark. Galaxy-renowned dickwad. A dick and an asshole, friends together. It all makes sense.
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>3926118
They probably go bowling with Bill.
>>
>>3926119
ARGH ALERT ALERT
>>
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>>3926119
Ah yes, to create an inescapable blackhole of assholery. Of course! Those assholes!
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>3926123
Aliens betray the alliance at the critical moment and run away to help their fellow aliens be the final villain, leaving Lester behind to face an entire mob of mechs ganging up on him.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>3926123
True evil, and secret bosses of this game
dudes vs xenos 3 never ever
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>3926123
Remember that Mark and Bill got killed by Texas the anticowboy like a month before this quest started.
>>
>>3926128
Those were the only kills people actually cheered Texas for
>>
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>>3926126
Never everrrrrrr

>>3926128
Rip

Anyway I gotta go away for now. Family's having a party and I must now socialize. Will continue later. toodles

updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>3926130
we will now proceed to sacrifice a goat for op to return safely
>>
>>3926130
Thanks for the thread OP, was awhile since I've been able to partitipate.
good luck with socializing
>>
>>3926131
Don't do that.

I prefer dogs
>>
>>3926135
>Bandit will remember that
>>
>>3926009
I bet Edward is outright Dice Gods OC who got in because he donated to OPs patreon or something, hence the good rolls
>>
>>3926536
>>3926536
SHUSH
>>
>>3926131

No we shall sacrifice golds and jewelry for the Fire Snake god! And burn a lot of stuff, I mean A LOT.
>>
>>3928381
the goat didn't work, we need a cow
>>
It's (not) time
>>
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>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>3933585
spiral power activate
>>
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>>3933587
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>3933591
Now we make our escape while the fleet tries to reorganize!

What else is going on during this fight?
>>
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Unfortunately spiral power couldn't revive the thread
>>
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>>3933604
The enemy fleet is in disarray! But one of the ships manage to keep its cool and is making its way towards you!
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>3933613
SHOOT
>>
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Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3933617
"Fester! I'm aiming the ships' weapons at the advancing ship! Get outta the way quick!"

Roll 2d100 to get outta the way
>>
Rolled 93, 44 = 137 (2d100)

>>3933621
>>
Rolled 56, 91 = 147 (2d100)

>>3933621
>>
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>>3933625
You couldn't get out in time, so Edward had to disengage the more powerful beam weapons and use less powerful missiles with targeting systems to avoid you. The missiles did some damage to the hull but the enemy ship is still charging!
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>3933638
Brace and meet it head-on
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>3933638
Shoot the bridge of the ship, venting its captain and command staff into space
>>
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Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>3933640
Coffin Shield Deployed! ROLL 2D100!

You have +30 Defense
The enemy ship has +40 Ramming Speed
>>
Rolled 28, 71 = 99 (2d100)

>>3933658
*sigh* another auto-loss
>>
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>>3933664

The ship slams into the Marshal! Dragging it along its trajectory towards Rachelle's ship and the Black Horse!
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>3933670
Fire the coffin!
>>
>>3933670
>>3933671
Focus and Alert, too!
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>3933670
Point blank Marshal Beam along the length of ship, split it in half!
>>
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>>3933671
Since you're bring squashed by the ship, with the coffin currently being embedded into its hull, engaging coffin launching protocols meant that you launched the Marshal away from the ship instead!
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>3933680
SHOOT
>>
>>3933680
>>3933644
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>3933687
>>
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Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>3933689
Shot's gonna be tight. Roll 2d100

Ship has +30 defense
>>
Rolled 11, 49 = 60 (2d100)

>>3933712
c'mon, 92!
>>
Rolled 4, 67 = 71 (2d100)

>>3933712
By the way OP if we lose too much then permakill us OK.
>>
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>>3933715
Ah shit, you hit the hull instead of the canopy!
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>3933732
Shoot more and hope things resolve themselves
>>
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Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>3933737
Roll 2d100 to spam that fire button and use your machine gun revolver

+50 bonus you
+30 ship defense
>>
Rolled 69, 23 = 92 (2d100)

>>3933747
>>
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>>3933750
Somehow, using up the entire belt didn't manage to hit the damn glass once.
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>3933755
Desperation shooting
>>
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Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>3933761
"Get the hell outta there already, Fester!"

Roll 2d100 to ignore the cap'n and continue shooting

Roll 1d100 and an action to not continue shooting

+30 defense bonus for the ship

Machine gun revolver needs a reload
>>
Rolled 25, 75 = 100 (2d100)

>>3933784
I'M NOT BACKING AWAY
>>
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>>3933791
Your final desperate shot....HITS THE BRIDGE STRAIGHT IN THEIR WINDOW! THE COMMANDING STAFF IS KILLED AND THE SHIP HAS LOST CONTROL!
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>3933801
SHOOT SHOOT SHOOT
>>
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Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>3933819
Losing control, the ship is now barreling straight for you instead of ally ships....so I dunno what shooting it now instead of getting out of the way would help. But roll 2d100 anyway

Roll that dice while I....go and suspend thread since gotta head back to the ol' labour camps in an hour
>>
>>3933819
you better not be killing our mc
>>
Rolled 45, 46 = 91 (2d100)

>>3933827
rolling now sleeping too
>>
Rolled 63, 54 = 117 (2d100)

>>3933827
SHOOT
>>
Rolled 6, 15 = 21 (2d100)

>>3933827
>>
Rolled 73, 88 = 161 (2d100)

>>3933827

Can't disappoint the communist overlord.
>>
>>3933827
haha like people will roll that hig-
>>3933993
woops
>>
~~le bump from hikarian anon~~
(This quest thread made my day, thanks to OP for creating it!)
>>
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oh shit
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>3938029
>>3933993
>>
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>>3938034
Yeah that's a pretty nice roll
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>3938046
The communist overlords approve.
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>3938046
SHOOT
>>
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>>3938054
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>3938064
shoot
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>3938064
you best be turning that 1 into a 100, OP, unless you want to spend the rest of your days in the gulag
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>3938064
Put OP in a headlock
>>
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>>3938078
Due to threats of physical violence, the action is able to commence.

Shooting the Marshal's entire ammo reserves at the giant wreck, you managed to create a nice Marshal-sized hole through the ship and passed through the drifting debris and wreckage
>>
>>3938082
Conjure plot
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>3938082
Ed is mad, but impressed.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>3938086
>>
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>>3938088
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>3938090
>>3938086
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>3938104
return to ship, we ran out of ammo.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>3938104
the remaining alliance ships flee
>>
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>>3938107
The enemy formation is broken, their capital shit is destroyed and another one of their bigger ships was taken out. Surely you would make it back with no problems
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>3938128
Right. Time to wrap this show up. Advance plot
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>3938128
Celebrate a job well done with some cowboy tunes
>>
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>>3938130
Right. Now you're back on the Black Horse. Edward had it and Rachelle's ship wake a warp jump together into a secluded sector to discuss plans.

So while the captains are having a meeting. You have some time off to rest and maybe level up or something before they come up with what to do next.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>3938144
Fester took out a bunch of fighters and such right? He's got to be nearing Ace status by now. To the Level Up screen!
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>3938144
Surely we have Levelled Up enough to get a bonus.
>>
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>>3938152
1 more kill and ol' Fester will be illegible for Ace status
>>
Since things are sooper slow right now, and my internet's crapping out, imma take a break for a bit.

For about 10 hours
>>
>>3938183

I blame at people who are download all those handholding movies.
>>
>>3938161
>llegible for Ace status
which is good because Fester is illiterate
>>
>>3938711
No, my master plan. Ruined. due to illiteracy
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>3939255
ask bandit what to do now
>>
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>>3939262
Translation: Maybe use those 10 level up points for something
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>3939268
everything in dodge
>>
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>>3939273
Dis whatchu want?
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>3939268
5 in ranged
5 in Hit
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>3939278
Rock In
Confirm
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>3939278
10 in strength
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>3939278
>>3939279
>>
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>>3939281
What? Strength?
That aint a stat in this system
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>3939283
yep, that's why we go full dodge.
10 in dodge
rock in confirm
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>3939283
changed my mind, 5 in dodge, 5 in hit
>>
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>>3939286
>>3939286
>>3939286
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>3939291
yeehaw, lock in and go to the next person
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>3939291
nah melee
bar fights are an issue
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>3939291
fine, geese
>>
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>>3939296
>geese
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>3939306
quick, shoot Geese and become an Ace!

but seriously, next character
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>3939306
I mean since KoF characters can literally go full isekai it would be weird if geese made an apperance here.
Too bad it's locked behind DLC which costs arm and leg
literally
>>
>>3939306
>>3939311
donate your arm and leg to op
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>3939306
>>3939315
>>
>>3939315
op more of a dog person
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>3939306
Predictabo.
>>
>>3939317
bandit will probably kill us though
>>
>>3939322
not if op will eat him first
>>
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>>3939310
Poink
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>3939328
everything in dodge
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>3939329
Everything in skill, lock-in
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>3939328
melee
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>3939331
everything in GONG
ROCK IN
SHOUT NOW
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12KJO-35hK8
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>3939328
>>3939331
>>
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>>3939329
boosh
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>3939345
confirm,
next!
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>3939345
next one
>>
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>>3939349
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>3939355
everything in dodge

SRW experience is never wrong
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>3939355
block all in
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>3939355
9 in dodge
1 in skill
>>
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>>3939360
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>3939365
lock, next!
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>3939365
next
>>
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>>3939368
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>3939380
melee
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>3939380
ACE BONUS TIME
Also everything in block
>>
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>>3939383
Ah yes of course. Good ol' Jester's an Ace now.

So now you can pick from one of these for his bonus:

1. Decreases all damage taken by 20%
2. Can heal other mechs more in battle
3. He has configured the Justiciar's built in music player to be so loud and able to takeover enemy communications. Giving them a debuff
4. Now has a +30 bonus whenever defending himself or others

Or you could try your luck and confirm that you wanna roll for the bonus
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>3939395
>He has configured the Justiciar's built in music player to be so loud and able to takeover enemy communications. Giving them a debuff
Perfection, let;s do that.
>>
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>>3939405
Now everyone will have to listen to his theme music

Which is....[insert song here]
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>3939419
PLANETTO DANCU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8vXhrsZFAY

also thread is fucking dead
>>
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>>3939420
Oh well, you win some you lose some. Due to dedness. Thread will now again go on hold.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>3939419
>>3939420

>>3939428
oh what
>>
>>3939428
OH NO YOU DON'T
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>3939428
such is live, take some sunday rest OP, thanks for bread
>>
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>>3939431
Oh yes I do
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>3939428
it's feeling better, the thread might go for a walk!

>>3939434
You can't let OP rest, that's like freeing a genie from his lamp
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>3939437
so you mean actually doing a good thing?
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>3939435
wake the fuck up also next person
>>
>>3939439
>implying all genies don't want to go away from lamps
>>
>>3939435
you live near my time zone you just want to eat more dog you fat commie
>>
>>3939441
>hikki genies
I'm mildly interested
>>
>>3939439
if you like unleashing reality warping monstrosities with little sense of morality on an unsuspecting world, sure
>>
i am having terrible thread connection problems
>>
>>3939445
I'm pretty sure they'll want to stay the fuck away from current society
>>3939446
oh no
>>
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test
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>3939456
poak bun
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>3939456
Oh look it's steve the dead alliance guy
>>
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seems to be more stable now

continues?
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>3939465
yes
next person and hope we can finish the upgrades before we face our "brother" and the ayys
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>3939465
I'm not going anywhere for 7 or so hours so it's up for rest anons
>>
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>>3939467
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>3939476
5 to melee, 5 to skill
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>3939476
everything into block
>>
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>>3939480
hmhmhm
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>3939481
next
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>3939481
hopefully folks come by after menu segment
next
>>
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>>3939482
>>3939485
>>
>>3939481
so if you split up Heath and Cliff, are their stats halved? Or is it less because of the lack of coordination?
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>3939487
I feel like there is something off about this data screen
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>3939487
>>3939490
yeah there's like too little points in armageddon
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>3939487
can we repsec? definitely should take 8 points out of woof and put them into bork
>>
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>>3939490
Shush. Anyway. Level up's done. Now you can go check up on Edward to see what yer gonna do next.

Or drink until you pass out.

Depends really.
>>
>>3939494
drink WITH Edwards until you both pass out
like in good old times
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>3939494
Edward is being yelled by his possible maybe ex-girlfriend for coming late
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>3939494
go to drink, only to remember that we can only drink veggie shakes

Talk to the crew, see how everyone's feeling
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>3939494
>>3939495
>>
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>>3939497
Yes. Time to socialize.

After you finish being mad about not being able to consume alcohol due to your cyborg body
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>3939501
but is there... DIGITAL BOOZE
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>3939501
Everyone else just stares at you
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>3939501
>>3939502
This seems like a question for Dai...
So let's ask Jester instead
>>
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>>3939502
The Black Horse's AI, which controls all the digital functions on the ship, says:

"No"

You may resume your desk punding
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>3939506
YOU DON'T EXIST TO ME
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>3939506
Start pounding in a rhythm. Get the rest of your former band back together. Sing out your frustrations over the lack of digital booze for cyborgs.
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>3939506
AI just fucks with you, ask Dai
>>
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>>3939509
Your rendition of "Why the fuck can't cyborgs drink" is broadcasted over the ship's intercom
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>3939516
0/10 - ruined by the singer
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>3939516
all crew joins and sings along
>>
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>>3939518
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>3939519
Including Rachelle and Smith
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>3939519
Edwards bursts into doing sick solo
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>3939519
Heath & Cliff break out some turntables, remix the song, and turn the sing-a-long into a rave
>>
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>>3939521
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>3939526
and she is going full fangirl mode on Edward
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>3939526
Rachelle breaks out the drums provides the beat
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>3939526
Entire crew drinks veggie sludge in solidarity with the cyborgs.
>>
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>>3939530
Except bandit.
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>3939533
>>3939529
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>3939533
>>3939535
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>3939533
>>3939536
>>
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>>3939537
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>3939538
bandit just peacefully sits there not distrupting the concert
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>3939538

Bandit record the music and uppload on MeTube.... but as clickbait with full of advertisment!
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>3939538
Smith watches with Bandit
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>3939538
Smith takes Bandit for a walk
>>
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>>3939542
And so the concert went on and on.

Morale was raised way up

Downside is productivity is at an all time low
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>3939546
Also it stunned the ambush set by Lester that is happening RIGHT NOW
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>3939546
High Five Edward after the concert
>>
>>3939546
Edward and Rachelle make out after the concert, it's super awkward for everyone else
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>3939549
>>
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>>3939547
"Yo this actually sound kinda sick"
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>3939553
"hey we killed steve"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>3939553
ceasefire?
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>3939553
Black Horse and Rachelle's ship just warp out again, because the Alliance mech's don't have ships to pursue in
>>
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>>3939554
"Unfortunate"

"But he was kinda of an asshole anyway"

"Yeah, one time he ate my sandwich that I hid in the company fridge"

"He stole my pens"

"He once took a shit in the alliance bathroom and clogged it up for a week"

"He took my kidney"
>>
>>3939558
so why you are ambushing us again
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>3939558
"Also, we have Smith on our side. We will kill all of you. You should retire, and stop hating on pirates & cowboys."
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>3939558
>>3939559
>>
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>>3939561
"A pirate took my other kidney"

"I've always hated cowboys! Their big hats are dumb!"

"Smith coming over to your side is indeed....not part of the plan....But the bosses are paying us enough to retire for 2 lifetimes. So, eh"
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>3939564
But by killing us you'll eliminate that piece of art you've heard
You are killing the music
how could you

Just use all spirits command on all crew and one shot those uncultured bastards via glorious combo AoE attack
>>
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>>3939566
"It's cool we already recorded it"

"Yes, we do recognize the hypocrisy and irony in hating pirates while committing digital piracy. Shut up"
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>3939567
We have morale on all time high
which means we unlocked super secret combo attack which only works in high morale circumsnatnces
Unleash the power of high morale during all good seishin stuff like valor, spirit, strike, etc.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>3939567
"But what's music, without a laser light show?

Open fire with the ships
>>
Rolled 534 (1d900)

>>3939568
"Ah shit"

Roll 2d1000

You have a +100 morale bonus
>>
Rolled 963, 589 = 1552 (2d1000)

>>3939570
>2d1000
HOLY LONELY NIGHT
>>
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>>3939570
Whoops, captcha ate my pic
>>
Rolled 72, 67 = 139 (2d200)

>>3939570
Ah fuck
>>
>>3939574
Wait I mess-
>>3939572
Oh nevermind
>>
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>>3939572
All mechs and ships combined power and fired off everything they got, unified into one titanic beam that cut through the ambushing enemy squad and annihilated them
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>3939582
Only Lester remains
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>3939582
Everyone but Fester got some additional kills
Fester got fucked by RNG, and still stuck at 49 kills
>>
>>3939585
>>3939586
Also this
>>
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>>3939585
>3939586
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>3939593
Does it have a cool name
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>3939593
Fester engages him
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>3939593
"Don't make Mechanic cry, brother."

Deploy the Marshal
>>
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>>3939596
"If anybody gonna cry after this it's gonna be you, brother"
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>3939605
Marshal BEEAAAM
>>
>>3939605
"I don't even know if I can cry, the guy who made me a cyborg was vague on that stuff."

Throw multiple grenades, his shield can't block every angle
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>3939608
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>3939605
Why is he hiding his face though? Is he ashamed of it?
>>
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Rolled 97 (1d180)

>>3939606
The Marshal's Badge glows with power! MArshal Beam!

Roll 2d100

You have +20 bonus
Lester has +30
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>3939611
>10 damage
>is that supposed to be good attack?
>>
Rolled 98, 32 = 130 (2d100)

>>3939611
auto-loss.
>>
Rolled 79, 74 = 153 (2d100)

>>3939611
>autolose
Fuck
>>
>>3939611
rollan
>>
Rolled 67, 77 = 144 (2d100)

>>3939620
dammit
>>
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>>3939617
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>3939624
I love you OP
>>
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>>3939625
That's kinda gay, bro. Not gonna lie
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>3939624
How did you get an extra 80, that's not fair
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>3939626
no homo
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>3939626
>>3939627
>>
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Rolled 19 (1d180)

>>3939628
Maybe.

Anyway, I gotta go...outside, how horrifying. So unfortunately thread gotta suspend for now. For reals this time.

But while that happens, roll 2d100

You have +35 bonus
Lester has a +10 bonus
>>
Rolled 36, 10 = 46 (2d100)

>>3939635
>autoevade
*smirk*
>>
Rolled 12, 74 = 86 (2d100)

>>3939635
>autowin after autoloss
>0 damage
>>
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>>3939639
With this extremely high quality dodging animation, thread can now be put on hold
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>3939641
at least we have more than 2 attacks per mechs

thanks for bread op
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>3939641
Oh look edward sneaked behind him while we were busy playing super robot wars
>>
I think this is the series finale
>>
>>3939838
No, we still have the ayys to deal with.
>>
>>3939842
They can be killed off offscreen
>>
>>3939847
everyone knows that the battle with rivals is done before the final boss
>>
OP has taken critical damage and will need time before re deployment
>>
>>3942064
>zebra did this
>>
>>3942076
not again
>>
OP has the worst luck
>>
here we go
>>
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>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>3946068
Focus+Alert and ask what we could possibly have done for him to have such a grudge against us. Then Marshall Beam.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>3946068
how does he get to roll 1d180
>>
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>>3946070
He was about to reveal his backstory...but then the marshal beam hits and messed up the audio, you couldn't quite hear what he said
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>3946073
WHY DOES HE WEAR THE MASK?
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>3946073
Sorry, I didn't think the audio system would react that way. What was that again?
>>
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>>3946076
Wait, suddenly the Marshal's cleaning protocols activated and it engaged the cleaner bots. The sound of their vacuums drowned out his voice and you couldn't hear anything
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>3946083
Everyone else can hear Lester's backstory just fine and they're crying over it
>>
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>>3946085
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>3946090
Accuse him of being a follower of Texas
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>3946090
Now prepare for battle you vile fiend! Marshall beam x2!
>>
>>3946091
Ah yes, Texas... who?
>>
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Rolled 143 (1d180)

>>3946091
"The state?" he asks as he readies his own gun!

Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>3946102
>autolose
No fair, how does he get a d180
>>
Rolled 2, 20 = 22 (2d100)

>>3946102
No, that guy who accidentally doxxed himself as one of the leaders of your powwow. And ah shit.
>>
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>>3946109
"What?"

>>3946105
Bossfight bonus
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>3946118
Use the super Marshall Beam Mark 2! Its the Marshall beam but with a fancier name
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>3946118
spiral power was made for boss fights!
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>3946118
He has a Beam Coat doesn't he? Any physical weapons?
>>
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>>3946123
Lesseee....The Marshal's revolvers are beam weapons. So is the marshal beam....But the Marshal Kick and the grenades aren't...so is the machine gun revolver mode.
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>3946127
spiral power addiction setting in... so powahful!
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>3946127
Than take the machine gun and load up its revolver form! And make a note to get a new physical weapon!
>>
>>3946131
i wanted this to be of noticed, that I anon have tried to up our melee only to be denied by other anons who are cowardly and dumb.
>>
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>>3946129
wat
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>3946136
Use Spiral Power you fool! You have it! Believe in the weeb that believes in anime!
>>
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>>3946138
More like believe in copyright infringement, heyoooooooo
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>3946136
So the machine gun uses bullets? Or do we have to change it into revolver mode?
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>3946141
>>3946131
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>3946141
it blocked by donut steel powah! remember!
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>3946141
>>3946142
>>
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>>3946145
A clarification, what that meant is that the Marshal's revolver normally is a beam weapon. Its machine gun mode switches over to physical bullets.
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>3946152
BOOOM
HIT WITH A CONSECUTIVE HEAD SHOT!
Rattatatatatatattatat
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>3946152
Fire!
>>
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Rolled 98 (1d180)

>>3946153
Roll 2d100!

You have a +50 bonus
>>
Rolled 16, 53 = 69 (2d100)

>>3946162
>>
>>3946162
>>
Rolled 87, 77 = 164 (2d100)

>>3946162
>>
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>>3946167
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>3946189
now aim for his joints
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>3946189
"Face it, Lester, you'll never win as long as you side with those who hate cowboys! Hell, you're just as much as into cowboys as me. I'm pretty sure you even tried to lasso me last fight."

Pelt him with grenades as he tries to refute us.
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>3946189
Follow it up with a patented Focused Super Marshal Spiral Cowboy Aniki Copyright-Infringement Grenade
>>
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Rolled 103 (1d180)

>>3946195
"They're a means to an end!"

Roll 2d100

You have +30 bonus
>>
Rolled 41, 17 = 58 (2d100)

>>3946202
"You're a mean IN the end!"
>>
Rolled 30, 82 = 112 (2d100)

>>3946202
Qh gees
>>
Rolled 91, 73 = 164 (2d100)

>>3946202
grenades hit him in the end
>>
>>3946206
HOLY SHIT JUST BARELY MADE THE DC
>>
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>>3946206
He blocked it in time!
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>3946212
>blocked
Bullshit.

Focus your not!Spiral Power into your machine gun. Surely it would enhance the firepower!
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>3946212
That was a distraction:
SHOUT NOW! MARSHAL KICK!
>>
>>3946214
Draw means whoever's doing the defending gets the win
>>
>>3946214
>>3946212
this
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>3946217
>>
>>3946217
Oh.
>>
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Rolled 107 (1d180)

>>3946216
"So you've moved above me when the grenades exploded!"

Roll 2d100! +30 bonus
>>
Rolled 41, 59 = 100 (2d100)

>>3946226
Marshal Kick sends him flying into Edward's waiting keelhaul blades on the underside of the ship
>>
Rolled 67, 8 = 75 (2d100)

>>3946226
>107
goddamn, Lester
>>
Rolled 75, 73 = 148 (2d100)

>>3946226
>>
Rolled 86, 22 = 108 (2d100)

>>3946226
>>
>>3946234
Dice God!
>>
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Rolled 6 (1d180)

>>3946234
Lester engaged boosters and dodged the kick!

He'll attempt a counter attack! Roll 2d100!
>>
Rolled 10, 72 = 82 (2d100)

>>3946238
Ha, Lester forgot he doesn't have legs!
>>
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>>3946239
He missed too!
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>3946243
They turn their sights on Dice God.
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>3946243
Okay so let's grenade him into them keelhaul blades
>>
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>>3946244
You dare reject the dice?
>>
Rolled 149, 320, 213, 106, 247, 355, 313 = 1703 (7d372)

>>3946246
Yup
>>
Rolled 53, 21, 61, 9, 9, 7 = 160 (6d66)

>>3946246
You are neither fair nor balanced. You are a false prophet! Shame upon the Loaded Dice!
>>
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>>3946250
>>3946248
Haha! Fools! You have fallen into my trap! Without the dice I can make you lose without proper justification! No matter what action you choose, it will always end in failure!
>>
>>3946253
Sounds very capitalist of you, OP.
>>
>>3946253
my god Op!? Thats where you been hiding
>>
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>>3946254
>>
>>3946256
Unless we get inside your head...
Or use other coercive measures...
>>
>>3946256
Shame, after this fight we were all going to go eat some dogs. Guess OP'll have to enjoy whatever gruel they eat in the gulag.
>>
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>>3946257
>>3946258
Anyway, taking advantage of the fact that anons were distracted by OP, Lester is beating up Fester
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>3946261
Use the machine pistol to shoot off Lester's mech's arms
>>
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Rolled 129 (1d180)

>>3946268
Roll 2d100

+50 For you
+10 For Lester
>>
Rolled 82, 79 = 161 (2d100)

>>3946270
Goddamnit
>>
Rolled 89, 33 = 122 (2d100)

>>3946270
ffs Lester
>>
Rolled 22 (1d99)

>>3946261
We shall relent for now, Dice God - but remember we shall soon combine and defeat you with our Spiral power.

Beat Lester back
>>
Rolled 30, 25 = 55 (2d100)

>>3946270
>>
Rolled 58, 5 = 63 (2d100)

>>3946270
>>3946273
ffs
>>
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>>3946273
The beatings continued
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>3946285
Focus and Alert this time and Marshall Kick him!
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>3946285
The beatings will continue until morale improves
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>3946285
Fester asks himself: What Would Edward Do?
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>3946285
spam support me button
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>3946285
Kick him into the keelhaul blades already like you planned. Edward is getting impatient.
>>
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Rolled 31 (1d180)

>>3946289
Roll 2d200 to see if morale improves

+40 bonus
>>
Rolled 181, 2 = 183 (2d200)

>>3946300
>autowin
lmao
>>
>>3946300
>autowin
It's just not fair, is it Fester?
>>
Rolled 194, 99 = 293 (2d200)

>>3946300
>>
Rolled 120, 179 = 299 (2d200)

>>3946300
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>3946300
Autowin proves DG is successfully intimidated

Morale is already at an all-time high! Bandit has joined the rock concert still in progress on the ship!
>>
Rolled 81, 174 = 255 (2d200)

>>3946308
derp
>>
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>>3946305
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>3946317
Edward pressgangs him into service.
Painfully.
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>3946317
Cheers Ed

Now he's impaled, hold machine-gun to his head point-blank and make demands
(Ed assists with additional non-stupid demands)
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>3946317
Thanks Ed. Was hoping I could overcome my evil brother through personal growth and put all my past trauma behind me once and for all. But I guess I'm just not good enough.

Half-heartedly shoot Lester's mech.
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>3946317
>>3946331
>>
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Rolled 42 (1d140)

>>3946325
"You won't get anything outta me"

Roll 2d100 to make demands
>>
Rolled 22, 66 = 88 (2d100)

>>3946336
You make an honest woman out Mechanic, or so help me...
>>
Rolled 38, 57 = 95 (2d100)

>>3946336

Is that right? (Ed continues destroying the mech's insides with his sword, disabling it and bringing the deadly vacuum of space ever closer to Lester)
Dude stop being a dick, join us and help us kill aliens and save the galaxy
Also >>3946339
>>
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>>3946339
>>3946347
"Basically, help us and become a family man"

"uuuhhhh"
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>3946348
Everyone else chimes in
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>3946348
>>3946351
this
>>
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>>3946351
The wedding's been scheduled next thursday
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>3946362
"Our parents would be proud. You know, if you hadn't murdered them. Which I'm sure was for a good reason. Which I can't remember, because of my amnesia."
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>3946362
>>3946374
He gave a very good reason, you just never heard it
>>
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>>3946377
And since he thought you heard it, he didn't repeat himself.

"Anyway. Since the Alliance only has the aliens and criminals left. They'll launch their final assault on you guys soon."
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>3946381
Could you find a way to turn them against each other?
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>3946381
So what's their deal anyway? Why go to all this trouble to hide who they are? What's their ultimate goal?
>>
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>>3946384
"Well, it's because-"

KRZZZZYYZYAZYAZTTTTTTT--KTRRRTTZZZZZZZ--damnit, audio signal's getting unclear, comms musta been damaged during the battle
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>3946392
>>3946382
Since, well, all the other agents and Steve are dead and all.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>3946392
So when do we start working on Kai upgrades and how?
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>3946392
Let's talk back on the Black Horse. Not like we're about to be ambushed by a previously unknown, but still immensely powerful enemy or something.
>>
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Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>3946399
Roll 2d100 to not be ambushed by a previously unknown but still immensely powerful enemy or something
>>
Rolled 22, 16 = 38 (2d100)

>>3946400
(Watching you, Dice God)
>>
Rolled 97, 56 = 153 (2d100)

>>3946400
I've got a good feeling about this
>>
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>>3946405
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>3946409
Kai upgrades when.
>>
>>3946415
also how
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>3946409
I mean, to be fair Dice God, that just means it can't AMBUSH us. The previously unknown but still immensely powerful foe could still attack. Just not without prior warning.
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>3946409
Once back on the Horse, Mechanic is all over Lester and Dai is now on permanent ninja duty to make sure he doesn't betray his word and do anything suspicious.
"So now we all can hear you better, what was that about the Alliance again?"
>>
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>>3946415
When we get renewed for a second season
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>3946426
Geez, fine.
>>3946420
>>
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>>3946429
Ah shit, your cyborg ears fell off just when Lester was explaining things
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>3946426
>>3946420
This, but put Smith in charge of watching Lester. I prefer Dai free for shenanigans.
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>3946430
>>3946431
Also try to figure out what force is getting in the way of PLOT.
>>
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>>3946434
Yes, now what is causing these problems for you? What reason is this?!

Could it be:
A. The remaining aliens in the alliance messing with your life

B. OP forgetting his original plan after getting sick for 3 days

C. You're just cursed with cosmic inconvenience
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>3946442
B
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>3946442
>>3946448
>>
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>>3946448
>>3946452
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>3946456
Fester asks the rest of the crew if they have any long standing problems or grudges they want to resolve before the next Alliance attack, in the hopes that he can kill some rando and finally achieve Ace status
>>
>>3946456

This >>3946458

And eating sandwich that completely made of vegetable because of our cybernetic body...
>>
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>>3946458
Of course. One final sidequest before the last main quest.

Which one of the crew has a side quest?
Cyborg Ninja: Dai'SiCho
Vigilante Pilot: Jester Frinks
Bounty Hunters :Heath and Cliff
Mechanic: Rachel Childhoodcrushinton
Rebel Girl: Anastasia Nikolaevna

Ya wanna roll for it?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>3946462

Fudge.. forgot to roll...
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>3946465

>Cyborg Ninja: Dai'SiCho
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>3946465
All of them, because they all have to do with the alliance
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>3946465
>>3946468
>>
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>>3946471
Ah yes, of course. All of the crew has scores to settle with the Alliance. Jester's home colony was attacked by that one asshole that kept sending out robots it. He had funding from the Alliance! Anastasia still won't forgive Edward for murdering her rebel friends and leader, but also realized that he did that in the first place because of the bounty the Alliance put out. Heath and Cliff are just miffed purely out of professionalism, bounty hunters don't like it when they're being double crossed and cheated out of their pay. Dai is the same as you and Ed, getting your home colony wrecked by aliens leave one really cranky. While Rachel wants to get her mentor back from the Alliance. Who, according to Lester, is helping them make new mechs.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>3946476
What if we make the aliens betray the alliance and then mop the criminals up and get revenge for everyone before killing the aliens?
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>3946476
So if we attack wherever the Alliance is keeping Mechanic's mentor, that will cripple their ability to produce mechs. Which will weaken the criminals deal with the aliens, causing infighting. Which will ruin their ability to hold a monopoly over bounty hunters. Which will make them unable to keep funding assholes who unleash robots on people's hometowns. Everyone wins!
>>
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>>3946477
Yes, perhaps we could....rescue the mechanic's mentor, crippling their mech production. Then we blame it on the aliens. The criminals, being a bunch of paranoid lot with the Alliance leaders like Lester and Steve gone, will panic and turn on the aliens. The alliance will break up and we can mop up whoever's left.

Or we could use a different approach, we loot the alliance goons we destroyed, and fix up a squad of their mechs. Have Smith lead them and attack the aliens, faking a betrayal.
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>3946481
Excellent plan, bandit!
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>3946481
Why not both? With Rachelle's cooperation, we have two ships
>>
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>>3946483
Of course! We make the aliens think the humans are betraying them and the humans think the aliens are betraying them!

So, which team do you wanna be on?

A. Mechanic's Mentor Rescue Team
B. Fake Alliance Griefing Squad
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>3946484
We have a lot of mech pilots. The rescue team requires Lester's cooperation, since it's Alliance territory and we still can't trust him, so probably that
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>3946484
A - would make a good brotherly bonding thing - go with Lester to help him curry favour with his new missus together and help forget the past
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>3946484
B
>>
>>3946488
But why tho
>>
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>>3946488
Ah so you're going with Smith to attack the aliens. Lester will be on the rescue team.

If this is your final decision, you may then divide up which pilot goes on which team, with the remaining be: Edward, Dai, Heath, Cliff, and Jester
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>3946490
>>3946489
we havent delt with aliens is a while, its time we do.
>>3946490
Edward will stick with us dai and jester will go with lester. the rest will stick with us.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>3946490
Heath & Cliff + Jester on Team A
Dai + Edward on Team B
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>3946490
Edward on team A with Rachelle and Anastasia
Rest on Team B
>>
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>>3946493

Of course. Edward will keep an eye on Lester, while Rachelle and Anastasia will keep an eye on Edward.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>3946495

But what about Bandit...?
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>3946495
Team A is Team Double Date + One
Team B is Team Single Losers
Bandit doesn't know who to choose
>>
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>>3946499
Bandit is thinking
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>3946502
Team B - someone needs to be the ship coordinator
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>3946502
>>3946504
Yeah okay. But: if Ed and Rach are both on the other team, then whose ship are we taking?
>>
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>>3946504
Yes. Bandit has now joined team B.

And now....OP needs to go find dinner. Will resume thread later. About 5 years

>>3946506
Smith's
>>
>>3946502
Hmm, is it more sad if Bandit's on Team A, making it so Anna brought a dog instead of a date, or Team B, to maximize Anna's awkward nature as a fifth wheel

>>3946507
Boy, I hope Team B's not too cramped in a ship mainly used by a single bounty hunter. That would be hilariously unfortunate.
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>3946507
>>3946511
>Team B is a sausage fest with a hot dog
let's hope no one has a boner on the way
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>3946507
we need bandit to keep us from soing something stupid
>>
>>3946519
And the acronym for team B is FAGS - Fake Alliance Griefing Squad
>>
>>3946556
Wow I bet you felt so proud when you came up with that. and when nobody noticed you had to spell it out for us.
>>
>>3946569
>op rigs event B to be impossible because of hurt feelings
>>
>>3946573
The strongest force in the universe.

Hurt fee fees
>>
>>3946604
where's the quest, boss
>>
>>3946772
Somewhere in 3-4 hours
>>
>>3947492
>literally gets butthurt
>uses it as an excuse
I kick you up the bum
>>
>>3947611
OP is clearly a lazy capitalist
>>
dem route splits
also OP's having power outage
no bread for us
>>
>>3947852
maybe in a few more hours
or years
>>
>>3948091
oh yeah?
>>
>>3948095
Yeah, such is life in the zone
>>
>>3948104
Oh Yeah?
>>
>>3948112
Yeah, the Curse continues
>>
>>3948115
The curse is eternal. Super Robot Pilot is an aberration, the laws of this reality rejects it
>>
>>3948115
OH YEAH
>>
>>3948116
>laws of reality reject Super Robots
I mean it fits
>>
>>3948116
Then we shall defeat reality itself!
>>
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>>
>>3950952
mmm delicious
>>
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>>3950964
What? What are you doing here?! Thread's supposed to be dead!
>>
>>3950966
No
>>
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>>3950970
No? Ah so you mean you're NOT here
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>3950974
Resolve to end the quest in THIS thread
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>3950974
I'AM here! And now! To SUPER ROBOT PILOT THING:ENDGAME!!!
>>
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>>3950975
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>3950981
YEEEHAAAAW...are we there yet?
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>3950982
Clearly not.
>>
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>>3950982
>>3950986
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>3950988
Alright, so, Dai's mission briefing, we cannot miss that s/he was mad last time and spiced our steak with veggies...back when we could eat that
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>3950992
>s/he
Beat this anon up
>>
>>3950995
Fucks sake Dice God!
>>
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>>3950992
"You needed those veggies, Fester."
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>3950998
Meat is what makes people strong! Either way, what's the plan?
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>3950998
We drafted a plan and two teams back earlier. Execute it
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>3950998
oh dagnabbit
>>
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>>3951001
Right, the crew has looted the alliance wrecks and managed to rebuilt some of their mechs for usage. You will pilot one of these and attack the aliens to sow chaos among Alliance forces
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>3951009
S H O O T
>>
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>>3951012
Shoot what
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>3951015
Nothing, just punch the air to see what this robot can do
>>
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>>3951018
Oh yeah, speaking of which, which of the Alliance mechs will you be getting in? The smaller grunt one or the bigger elite one
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>3951019
Marshal is small, so I will take what I know
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>3951019
Take the smaller one and DEPLOY immediately!
>>
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>>3951022
Time to get into formation, keep up appearances and whatnot
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>3951034
Hey there...fellow Alliance members, I sure do hate space pirates if you know what I mean
>>
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>>3951038
The Aliens dont seem to doubt you right now
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>3951043
Damn. Those cursed space cowboys! Can't wait to kill them all.
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>3951043
Yeahhh...being evil and stuff is great...ahem, so yeah I have some important news to deliver to your boss
>>
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>>3951046
Alien Vanguards nod in agreement

"We're in position, attack when ready" you hear the rest of the team over your comms
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>3951052
Wait until they turn their backs and start blasting
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>3951052
Say, where's the big man? I have some info he would love to hear, about Black Horse, but only to him, can't risk traitors and spies
>>
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Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>3951053
Roll 2d100 to see if they turn their backs
>>
Rolled 71, 21 = 92 (2d100)

>>3951058
>>
Rolled 48, 65 = 113 (2d100)

>>3951058
Innocent whistling
>>
Rolled 36, 85 = 121 (2d100)

>>3951058
>>
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>>3951059
Aliens are a bit curious to why are their human allies spread out like that
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>3951063
We are trying out a new battle formation. It's designed to combat space pirates and space cowboys
>>
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>>3951064
That seems to placate them for now. But not enough for them to turn their backs tho
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>3951068
Heyy uh, how about I talk with your commander to discuss how we could best combine our new formation with yours.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>3951068
start shooting a nearby asteroid cluster, claim you saw Edward's Davy Jones
>>
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Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>3951072
OH SHIT IT'S EDWARD!

Roll 2d100 to see if the aliens are tricked

+20 bonus
>>
Rolled 44, 63 = 107 (2d100)

>>3951077
>>
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>>3951081
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>3951088
Now...FIRWE
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>3951088
Start blasting
>>
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Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>3951092
The attack commences, roll 2d100

You have +35 bonus
>>
Rolled 44, 1 = 45 (2d100)

>>3951100
>>
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>>3951102
>1
>>
Rolled 84, 18 = 102 (2d100)

>>3951100
>>
>>3951106
I'll admit, I was really not expecting that. Nor did I think I'd be the only person to roll.
>>
>>3951106
Dice Gods hate knows no bounds
>>
Rolled 12, 95 = 107 (2d100)

>>3951100
>>
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Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>3951111
Your volley misses! But the aliens are agitated! At least they now think the humans have betrayed them.

BUT NOW ONE OF THEM IS LUNGING AT YOU! ROLL 2D100
>>
Rolled 35, 20 = 55 (2d100)

>>3951120
Nyeh! Go away!
>>
Rolled 15, 76 = 91 (2d100)

>>3951120
>>
Rolled 56, 21 = 77 (2d100)

>>3951120
oh geez
>>
Geez you guys suck
>>
>>3951126
Dice Gods hate knows no bounds
>>
>>3951126
we're true to fester's spirit
>>
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>>3951123
Dice God's hate for Fester truly knows no bounds.

The xeno chomps down on your mech!
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>3951136
GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF, TASTE THE SHIELD ARM THING THAT I STAB YOU WITH
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>3951136
Whoever's in the elite mech (Jester?) wrangles the varmint off us
>>
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Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>3951138
>>3951138
ROLL 2D100
>>
Rolled 85, 7 = 92 (2d100)

>>3951143
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKK
>>
Rolled 24, 85 = 109 (2d100)

>>3951143
I don't want to roll but fuck
>>
Rolled 14, 7 = 21 (2d100)

>>3951143
what are the chances I roll two nat 100's
>>
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>>3951145
Jester comes in with the Big Alliance Elite Mech and pulls the alien away, then using the mech's arm mounted pile bunker on the xeno! Unfortunately it already chewed through some critical systems of your mech
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>3951166
Why is it always me?...does this thing have ranged stuff?
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>3951166
Jester uses Repair skill on us, Fester's back in the fight
>>
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Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>3951169
Life just fucking hates you for some reason.

ROLL 2D100 TO SHOOT AT THE ALIENS
>>
Rolled 26, 60 = 86 (2d100)

>>3951182
one kill. ALL I WANT IS ONE FUCKING KILL!
>>
Rolled 18, 32 = 50 (2d100)

>>3951182
>>
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>>3951186
Amazingly, you missed
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>3951190
Well, we did our job anyway. Bail and let the infighting grow between them!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>3951190
So how are Heath & Cliff doing in separate robots? I always figured they worked by Ice Climbers rules.
>>
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>>3951195
And so you bailed on the battle. Ultimately earning zero kills and so still hasn't gain your Ace status yet. Rip.

But hey, The aliens haven been turned against the Alliance humans, so mission accomplished
>>
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With that done, there's only the final episode left where you regroup with Edward's team and have that last fight against whoever left. Which seems like a good spot to end this one and save it for the next thread. woop

updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>3951206
Bandit's a good boy. Thanks for running, OP
>>
>>3951210
The dice truly hates Fester
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>3951211
That's a lie. Proving it right now
>>
>>3951213
He really dislikes him
>>
>>3951206
WILL FESTER AND CO. DEFEAT THE EVIL ALIENS AND THE ALLIANCE?
WILL EDWARD FINALLY PROPOSE!?
WILL A SINGLE GOOD THING HAPPEN TO FESTER AND WILL THE CURSE FINALLY BE OVER!?
WHAT REVELATIONS LIE IN THE LAST EPISODE OF
SUPER ROBOT PILOT THING 3
>>
>>3951242
I'm gonna do it
I'm gonna get Fester killed in a stupid way again
>>
I bet bad rolls are because lack of sideburns
>>
>>3951702
Don't ypu dare, he a good bou, he dindu muffin
>>
>>3951871
>dindu muffin
speaking of which, can we ask Rachelle for more muffins
>>
>>3951907
does she even have any? Instead lets ask her for a kissu
>>
>>3951911
That is a suicide, also Rachelles ship is blown to bits last I remember and we don't have needed ingredients
>>
>>3951927
>this is a suicide
Yes, and
>>
>>3951933
We need no suicide, we have to win to spite the Dice God
>>
>>3951927
>Rachelles ship is blown to bits last I remember
since when, even in this thread her ship wasn't destroyed



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