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/qst/ - Quests

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You feel a deep seated hatred towards the little midget right before you.
Despite your machinations and shit stirring in the background that little dried-up cumstain Cabba managed to turn it all around and score himself not one, not two but THREE girls at the same time.
One of which is your sister.

The key word being: If

IF he managed to pull that shit off it's simultaneously impressive and blood boiling.
If he's telling the truth, you might just pull out his limbs one by one right here on the spot-
But it's also equally possible that this is just a huge troll attempt from the boy, one you thought he didn't have the capacity to pull off until now.
However as much as you want this to be the case... you can't be sure.

And Cabba on the other hand seems like he completely resigned himself to his fate.
He's showing no signs of fear or trying to run away. He's just standing there, ready to accept what's coming to him.

>Ask him if he's joking
>Who cares if he's sincere? Punch him anyway!
>This can NOT stand! Grab his tail and fuck him UP!
>Your sister seems to like him and he appears to understand his place, grab his tail and calmly tell him that if he does anything underhanded to her that you will shove his tail so far up his ass that there will be fur in his gums. Your judgment has reached a fairly reasonable end point, but your father will definitely have a chance to test his character when he comes along with his harem when you introduce the girls to your parents.
He is out of the frying pan for now but soon he will face the flames.
>Ask him if he's joking

Hi. Glad to see you back.
>Ask him if he's joking
Glad to BE back
With all that IRL shit going on like my laptop choking and dying or my dad going to the hospital due to a kidney stone

The saiyan remains silent as he stands in front of you, clearly waiting for some sort of reaction from you.
And boy is he going to get one. There is a question pressing on your mind and you need to let it out NOW.
Walking up to him you start leering at the boy as you slowly but steadily tower over him and stare him in the eye as you get in his face.

Even his iron will is starting to falter as you continue to stare into his eyes without saying a word and he begins to sweat a little.
Deciding that you've built enough tension, you finally break the silence.
"Is that true? Or are you just trying to piss me off?"

"A-And what if it is?! Huh?
Yes, I said it! And I don't even care if you don't approve! I-"

Not letting him finish you grab him by the tail and squeeze it hard enough that strength leaves his muscles.
Cabba practically falls to his knees and he only manages to keep his head perked up with a little help from you.
"I don't care."


"Elena seems to like you and that's all that matters. I got no say in the matter.
But I'm telling you this now, if you hurt her in ANY capacity I'm ripping this off and shove it so far up your ass you can brush the back of your teeth with it!
Got that?!"

He nods dumbly and you let go of his tail, at which point he does fall down and only barely manages to hold himself up before eating a face-full of dirt.
Wiping some sweat off his brows, Cabba stands up and dusts himself off.
"Y'know... I expected you to react worse to that."

"Oh I assure you that my disappointment is immeasurable and now my day is ruined!
But I'm not going to step out of line here. If she said she's willing to enter a *shudder* foursome with you then I got no say in the matter.
Just know that if this blows up in your face... and those girls eat you alive, I'll be there! Filming, judging and laughing all the way!"
Turning your back to him, you start walking back to the others before giving Cabba one final word.
"By the way, enjoy the party."

As you stomp back to the tables the mood of the place drastically drops as the people that actually care about you start noticing how miffed you are.
Right on queue just about the only two people that could cheer you up sit down next to you and start asking questions.
"A-Are you okay Eric?"
Kale asks as she touches your shoulder.

You look over her and try to find some enjoyment in her princess outfit but fail miserably.

"What did that dumbass Cabba do now?"
Caulifla asks and she leans on one of the big, hairy arms of her gorilla outfit.

"He went ahead and railed my sister..."

"Oh no..."

"Alongside the two Princesses."

"O-Oh my...."
Kale blushes and covers her face while Caulifla starts hissing.

I-I mean damn. That bastard!"
She then leans over your back and starts whispering to Kale behind you.
"Yo that's actually kinda hot! Didn't know the little twerp got it in him!"

"Could you just... please... stop talking about him doing my sister?
I'm disgusted enough as is!"

"Okay okay! Sorry!"
"We're very sorry Eric!"

You let out a sigh and return to moping as Caulifla grumbles.
"Mmmmmmokay! You wanna be like that? Fine!
But when you decide to grow a pair, you could... I dunno! Let off some steam!"

"Let off some steam?
That's your solution?"

"Well it's better than just sitting here and looking depressed!
Come on! Do something fun!"

>You're right... I should do that. Hey Hit! Let's blow this joint and do that job of yours! I need to kill something. Slowly
>Okay. Let's do something silly then. Maybe that'll lift my spirits
>Any recommendations?
>You're right... I should do that. Hey Hit! Let's blow this joint and do that job of yours! I need to kill something. Slowly

Yay for acceptable targets!
>You're right... I should do that. Hey Hit! Let's blow this joint and do that job of yours! I need to kill something. Slowly
>You're right... I should do that. Hey Hit! Let's blow this joint and do that job of yours! I need to kill something. Slowly
>sister gets railed in foursome
>our girlfriends (plural) recommend letting off some steam
>hell yeah!
>leave our girlfriends (plural) to go kill someone or something
"...he officially has no room to complain."
"I-I’m sure he just isn’t really in the right mood for it..."
"I guess I probably would have made the same call in his shoes."
"D’aw, Sis!"
>>Any recommendations?
I really want them to just shove Eric down at this point.
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Fuck Eric really IS turning into a Saiyan isn't he?
Sadly, the girls aren’t desperate roasties and are no doubt content with being spoiled by our cooking, sparring, amateur masseuse work, and cuddling. Still, the two putting their heads together over our newfound Saiyan-like blockheadedness might make for a fun omake.
Weird way of spelling "luckily"
Eh the consequences of competatively large part of Eric's social circle being sayans.
Absolutely, it just also means that they aren’t likely to be pushing us down just yet.
I say we get naked, get these BIG neon arrows pointing at our privates saying: BREED US!!!
I-I'm not sure I can... that-that's too lewd
How about we just use more innuendos?
Oh good idea! We'll just keep telling him how hungry we are and when he goes cooking we tell him we're not that kind of hungry!
That's it! That's brilliant!

>Eric then proceeds to bake cakes because the girls CLEARLY want something sweet instead of meat
Anyway... I guess it's time to end this little diversion
Now buckle up kids. This one's gonna be wild

>Eric then proceeds to bake cakes because the girls CLEARLY want something sweet instead of meat
"Caulifla, Kale, I’m so sorry - I can’t apologize enough. I’d gotten so used to seeing the two of you as these beautiful Amazons, two of the most powerful warriors in the universe, that I completely forgot that deep down you’re still girls. Girls with needs and Saiyan appetites. You must’ve felt frustrated and ridiculous trying to get me to take a hint... Which is why I’m going to make it up to you, all in one fell swoop! I hope your bodies are ready for this, because when I’m through with you you girls won’t even remember your own damn names!"
>the girls were later discovered comatose and sick to their bloated stomachs after having been served a super Saiyan portion of the single most decadent chocolate cake ever conceived, half of it smeared across their faces
>true to his word, they could not remember anything that happened the night before, but felt both a deep longing for a repeat of their chocolatey demise and strange satisfaction of their "other" appetites for a few days
Time to nail them with the shokugeki foodgasm special!
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"Yeah, I guess you're right!"
Leaning away from them you start shouting.

He looks up from his taco which is currently in the process of falling apart in his hands.
"What, now?"

"Yes now!
I want to kill something...
And do it very slowly."


What proceeds would be the most amazing thing to shout out loud, were it not for Hits murderous gaze stopping you dead in your tracks.
By using his time-skip he shoves the entire shell with everything inside into his mouth.
After some brief chewing he reaches for a napkin, cleans himself up and proceeds to take off his King Crimson outfit, under which lies his typical assassin gear.
At that point the time-skip ends and he nonchalantly turns away.
"Let's go."

It's equal parts amazing and hilarious that he just operates like that but you can't blame the guy.
Following his example, you hastily change out of your costume and don some more traditional clothes before following him.
Moving up to his cube ship, you enter the weird construct which received some alterations since the last time you've seen it.
The once transparent glass like shell of the ship has been replaced with a metallic substance. Either that or he got a simple paintjob.
On the inside you see a few items of convenience, like a toilet, a pair of comfy armchairs, a bed and a well stocked kitchen complete with a fridge packed to the brim.

"Not bad.
Did you turn this thing into a mobile home?"

It's much easier to be on the job when you don't have to worry about lodging or food constantly.
Mind you, my supplies are not infinite so I don't rely on them too much. They are mostly for emergencies."

So... now that we're out of earshot can you tell me something about the job?"

Hit continues to boot up the "ship" which still boggles your mind as he explains the contract.
"I get a feeling you're going to enjoy this one. From what I heard you had a run in with this one."

"Oh no...."

"It's a witch, named Towa.
She needs to be eliminated."

"God fucking damnit...
So, where did that bitch flee? Which universe?"

"The Seventh."
>Eric that's not what we meant-
Eric casually Messatsus the girls
>You are already fed!
Hokuto! Hundred Course Meal!
The question is, are we talking about The Towa from this timeline, native to Universe 6 or 7, or the time jumping one with Super Mira?

Because if its Mira I think we need Moar Guns. Mostly because of Towa. Dunno if we can take her solo.
Indeed infinite timeliness mean infinite Thots.
As far as I'm concerned there is just 1 of her
And this is the same one you btfo'd last time and made her go "Nope, not dealing with this"
But Imma still need you to elaborate on that because I genuinely don't know what you're referencing
"Wait... The 7th Universe?"

"That's correct."

"Who, if I may ask, the fuck had the brains to hire you?
Last time I checked this scantily clad whore is pretty sneaky."

"Beerus himself."


"Apparently the she-witch has been a thorn in his side for a considerable amount of time.
He was delighted to hear her finally leave his realm in favor of ours, so you can imagine his disappointment when she returned.
I was contacted by his attendant to track down and deal with her. Permanently."

"But why you?
Why not go after her himself?"

"From what I gathered she's very skilled at hiding from the the god of destruction.
After all, she did survive this long without being erased."

"Or Beerus is just a lazy bum and can't be bothered to look for her."

"Or that, yes.
Regardless which one it is, we got a job.
We find her, take out anybody guarding her, deliver a body and get paid."

"Sounds neat.
Any leads?"

"None what so ever.
And I asked them several times.
Apparently she's been laying low ever since your dealings.
I guess you don't have a reputation for scarring demons for nothing."
As he finishes his sentence the ship takes off and after a few minutes it already signals its pilot with a warning.
"You better sit down."

"Oh please, I'm nowhere near as squishy as I was during our last jo-
The cube pierces the barrier separating the seventh universe from the Void and you feel like a nail got hammered into your chest.

"Told you."

"It's not that."
You wheeze a little as your chest recovers.
"Don't you feel that?"

"Feel what?"

You calm yourself down and give the place a thorough scan.
Closing your eyes, you start getting a better picture which you describe to Hit.
"It feels... I'm not sure how this feels. Like the Universe is on fire. Millions of voices crying out in fear and... pain. Then being silenced.
Plus there are some CRAZY power levels all over the place. Ones big enough that I can feel all the way from the other end of the universe!
The hell is going on here?"

"Hmmmmm... strange."

"You can't feel it?"

"No. But it doesn't make sense.
Last time I was here I detected no such anomalies."

"You were here before?"

To kill Goku."

"Did you succeed?"

"Yes. From a certain point of view."
Hit then pauses and starts thinking about your current predicament.
"But this is bad. If some sort of great galactic conflict happened then it'll be much harder to track her down than I anticipated."

>Does this place have some sort of... central governemnt like a republic? Might be a good idea to start there
>How about these fuckhueg powers. You can't tell me the bitch has nothing to do with them!
>Shot in the dark. Earth?
Council of Towa (or less commonly bigger gathering of time breakers in general) is popular concept in fandom. I tought you knew about that.

>Does this place have some sort of... central governemnt like a republic? Might be a good idea to start there
>Shot in the dark. Earth?
is this the moro situation?
>>Shot in the dark. Earth?
Yeah it makes sense we can feel Freeza from the other end of the universe, well its either him, or....Broly.

Basically Towa is Demon King Dabura's Little Sister. So she's the princess of the Universe 7 Makai. Since Universe 6 and 7 are Twin Universes, there should be a version of Towa in Universe 6, like how we HAD Frost and Universe 7 has Freeza.

Towa Time Travels, depending on how that works, she might just create alteranative timelines, similiar to how Trunks Time Machine did.

There for its entirely possibly for an infinite amount of towas to be time traveling across infinite timelines at once.
didn't we kill the 6!towa when we killed the demon prince?
>Shot in the dark. Earth?
>Shot in the dark. Earth?
We didn't kill either of them. We beat both their asses, then carved The Majin M into the princes head with his own blood, and told him if he ever swung at us again we'd kill his aunt right in front of him, and make him beg for death.
Just demon slayer things.
Hey, there's a reason the entire demon race is scared shitless of The Slayer, turns out a human going into The Demon Realm and making the darkness there a part of them is absolutely terrifying. Who know?
A'ight! I'm back home
And it seems like Earth won

It's both
You HAVE a Towa equivalent, only she's much less impressive than her.
She's the Demon Princes aunt

Like the Council of Reeds?
No I wasn't aware of it. I know there is like an entire Time Breaker organization but that's it.
Don't know much about the Online/Xenoverse or god forbid the Heroes timelines

No, but you scarred them for life
>>Shot in the dark. Earth?
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Yeah the council is pretty much everywhe. Some people had a blast with the concept. Like TFS had their wacky Xenoverse adventures in their gaming Chanel and that's hilarious. Deamon Lord Dumplin is funny concept.
Majin fags need to die
Frost Demon chads rise up!
Seriously, some of the best quips are reserved for when you play as a Frieza race trooper in both games
We are still pre-goat
I have no intentions of covering that
"Shot in the dark. Earth?"

"I was thinking the same thing.
For some reason it seems to be a common theme between both versions that weird things tend to get attracted to your planet."

"No argument there."
As Hit turns the vehicle around, you continue surveying the place.
"Jeez. This place feels like the Wild West on PCP and Meth... Or Space-Florida."

"This place is the second lowest rated universe out of all of them so it is to be expected."

"How did it GET like this?!"

"I didn't gather much on the subject but what I know is that it's mismanaged.
Champas brother is notoriously lazy, even moreso than our destroyer. And the fact that most of the Supreme Kais were wiped out didn't help them one bit."

"I'll say..."
You look out through the dim, half-transparent wall of the ship and into the void.
Within your minds eye a Universe on fire spreads out before you. Many fear for their lives... and the odd thing is that some of them fear that it won't be taken away, that a fate worse than death awaits them. Slavery.
You put on a jacket as you feel a cold shiver hit you on the back.
You have a feeling it won't be going away anytime soon.

Desperate to turn your attention away from the raging war outside you sit down next to Hit who seems to catch on and speaks up.
"I'm glad you agreed to join. Visiting Earth will be much easier with you around."

You were there before, haven't you?"

"Yes. But I stick out.
You'll blend in without trouble.
That is invaluable when we want to remain undetected."

Then what can you tell me?
What should I expect from this other Earth?"

"Not yours."

"Care to go into detail?"

"The world has a one world government.
A monarchy to be specific... Actually, now that I think about it the entire universe is run by a monarchy.
Those seem to be very popular around here."

On one hand, the idea of an entire UNIVERSE being run by a King or something like that is ridiculous, on the other...
"Maybe it's because the place is filled with idiots and the few intelligent individuals can easily take over control of them."

That certainly seems like a possibility."
We can't let our earths furrys discover Universe 7s earth has a bipedal dog as a king.
So PTO should have guessed by the Pic. They really did the universe a dirty reviving a God lvl tyrant.

Also sadly the theory on U7 and monarchies seems sadly plausible.
I would imagine that the reason the whole universe is scared, is because frieza is back in town?
Reviving Frieza is easily the most retarded thing the crew ever did.
As much as I adore Nu-Frieza, they should've backstabbed him
Seriously, this is worse than the Cell-Senzu debacle
With the ludicrous speed of the cube, you arrive at Earth in no time.
And looking at it fills you both with a certain calmness born of familiarity and longing, as well as slight nervousness like there's something wrong with it.
Upon closer inspection it IS like looking into a distorted mirror, all the pieces are there but there are enough differences to make it look uncanny.
It's roughly the same size with the familiar, vast blue oceans surrounding the green landmasses.
But where you'd see the familiar shape of the continents you only see landmasses with only the vaguest of resemblance.

"It's so bizarre..."

"Do you need a minute?
Adjusting to something like that can take a lot of time."

"No... let's rip off this bandaid and get it over with.
Take us down."

Just brace yourself for further shock."
You don't know what he means by that and frankly, don't want to.

Making sure to avoid detection as much as possible, Hit lands in an uninhabited area and thanks to the speed of your vehicle you bypass all of the planets monitoring systems before they could pick you up.
Leaving the cube, you take a deep breath to acclimate to the new atmosphere.
"The air feels nice. Very fresh...
You know, it feels a lot better than it looks."

"I wouldn't know about it."
Hit then rummages through his equipment before tossing you a pair of binoculars.
"Here. There's a city in that direction. You should take a look."

As you look through the binocs you see what could only be described as "retrofuturistic".
Spherical buildings both on the land, raised high as skyscrapers into silo like structures, or globes stuck on the top of large spires like you were in the Jetsons... or Cloud City.
"A-Are those... conventional PLANES?!"

"No. Flying cars."


"They have regular four wheeled vehicles as well but the upper class have access to flying ones as well.
From what I observed they got quite large of an operational range, capable of flying from one continent to another."


"And that's just the surface-"


Hit, confused by your reaction tries his best to explain it to you.
"To me it seems like these humans are different from you. The average intelligence seems to be lower and there are a lot more erm... less mentally capable individuals.
But in turn they got a fair few more geniuses as well."

"This is such BULLSHIT!
Just because we went the jack of all trades route we don't get flying cars?!

"Calm down...
You need to focus on the job."

"Right right..."
You take a few deep breaths and steady yourself.
"So how do we do this?"

"I was thinking we split up.
You cover Earth, I'll scour the rest of the universe for potential clues.
We keep up communications and notify the other.
Sounds good?"

>I think we both better stick to Earth
>Let's not split up. That only invites trouble
"How quiet do you want to keep this? Would it be problematic if I get a hold of the boys and girls from the Tournament to help me get my bearings?"
"Actually, come to think of it, I DO know one other person that could potentially provide a lead if Towa's been deviating from her usual modus operandi... If we're willing to deal with time travel red tape."

I think she needs to be the last resort if we cannot pick up anything.
I'll say no to Time Loli for now
The other? Well... I was going to do that anyway
>I was going to do that anyway
Hah. Who needs psychic powers when you’ve got Common Sense?
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Sadly one of these is rarer than the other.
Can you guess which?
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Oh and since the universe has been shafting me so much recently, I thought I might share the love a bit
Don't know if y'all have seen it. I just think it's funny

Big think
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Som is just that despised huh. I wasn't around for his quests but i heard something about gary-stu Cell and ignoring dice or something?
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He really proposed a knock-off quest?
He ran his quests with the mindset that he was competing against the players, not working with them to make a story and this created a lot of problems.
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"Nah. That's a solid idea.
Got a scouter on you that I can use or something?"

Reaching into his utility belt Hit hands over something that looks like an earplug.
"It's a communicator. Lacks the scanner functionality of the Saiyan scouters but much more conspicuous and doesn't muffle your hearing.
We can talk over long range with these. Just tap it if you want to talk.
Oh and... take this as well."
He hands over a pair of sunglasses for you and points at your eyes.
"Those stand out."

"Okay. So I'll handle Earth, you search elsewhere.
How should we handle it? Whoever finds it handles it?"

"Depends. If there's time we should probably wait for the other.
However if you think the opportunity is going to slip away feel free to act."

"Got it.
And how loud do you want this?"

"As necessary.
Keep a low profile until we find her so you don't scare her away.
Afterwards? As loud as you please."

"A'ight. I'm heading out then."

"Stay safe."

As the space ship leaves the planet in the blink of an eye so do you make your way to the nearest city at blinding speed with the intent of jumping in head first and get used to your new environment quickly. And BOY was that a mistake!
It seems like such a simple plan: Go in, find the nearest place where you can exchange precious metals for cash, then proceed to someplace where you can get some information.
Easy, tried and true...
But you severely underestimated the culture shock.

Almost immediately you spot more than a few... oddities.
For a moment it seems like your eyes are playing tricks on you, so you rub them clean and... nope. Those are DEFINITELY furries. Well, anthropomorphic animals but still!
And... are those FUCKING DINOSAURS?! What sort of a loopy land IS THIS?!

Feeling an uncontrollable urge, you immediately press the button on your communicator and start shouting.
What the hell is this?!"

"What do you mean?
What's wrong?"

"I'm going to fit in?
I'm freaking out over here! There are beast men everywhere!
Living, walking, talking DINOSAURS! One of them is on a mobility scooter!
I'm going fucking insane man! How did you think I'd fit in here?!"

No answer.

Did you think... that these creatures look like me?"

That pause. That fucking pause.
You cut the line.

You mumble to yourself as you desperately try to keep your cool.
Everyone is justified in voting No.
He's truly the worst QM, and an absolutely trash person.
"Okay... calm down Eric, calm down!
No need to be weirded out! They are just furries...
Oh god it's so weird!"

Luckily nobody, or at least very few people seem to care about your slight panic attack.
But with a few breathing exercises you regain control over your actions and exhale with relief.
"Right... Back to work!"

After overcoming the initial shock actually navigating around isn't that hard, since for some reason the people here also developed english. Lucky.
Just like back home you find the first trader that you can get and dump an entire bar of solid gold on him in exchange for some cash.
But unlike back home you don't know if he's scamming you or not. Honestly, it doesn't even matter since you're not going to spend too much time here anyway.
In the end you get a spiffing briefcase filled to the brim with fat stacks of hard cash, the so called Zeni.
It's hard to estimate just how much they are worth but judging by the large numbers on the bills, you'd guess its value is somewhere around the japanese Yen.
And if you were a weeb you'd know how much that is.
Oh well.

The guy behind the counter barely seems to care or notice your apparent confusion with the currency so you can leave without any interruptions.
"Okay. Dosh acquired. Now I can actually do stuff.
But what to do, what to do..."

>If playing D&D taught you anything, it's that a pub is the best place for gathering information!
>You could ask some locals for help. Shouldn't be too hard finding them with power sensing alone
>Start looking through recent events to see if you can find something out of the ordinary. A newspaper or a library would do fine
>>You could ask some locals for help. Shouldn't be too hard finding them with power sensing alone
>You could ask some locals for help. Shouldn't be too hard finding them with power sensing alone
>You could ask some locals for help. Shouldn't be too hard finding them with power sensing alone
>You could ask some locals for help. Shouldn't be too hard finding them with power sensing alone

Kinda wonder if the Pub option is Launch
>You could ask some locals for help. Shouldn't be too hard finding them with power sensing alone
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Does this mean I'm an idiot?
>You're not a master psion for nothing. See if you can glean any unusual information from the collective consciousness of the people in this city.
No, it means I am
But yes, yes it's Launch
Well can't say I didn't expect this
Though it still hurts somewhere deep inside

But over all I think y'all are gonna enjoy this
tbf, who were the characters in the other options?
think launch was in the pub, Maybe gohan is doing a book signing in the library for his new book on KI?
Launch was the pub, the other was Mister Satan and his family
I'm almost certain powerlevels are gonna give us Tien, Piccolo, or Vegeta since they're the ones most likely to be flexing their ki while training.
I left out Goku because he's probably on King Kai's planet ignoring his flexible Chinese wife for whatever reason.
Could’ve been interesting running into Krillin on the clock doing police work when we moved to lend a hand, or 18 while she’s out shopping.

God, imagine running into Yamacha who freaks out at seeing us outside of training?
>Launch was the pub
oh no
>the other was Mister Satan and his family
To be honest Chichi aged like milk.
While she was still very hot after birthing Gohan, after Goten she started undergoing the asian aging where all those years of aging she managed to skip hit her at once
I'm pretty sure Bulma started aging backwards at some point
D-Did you not watch Broly?
That's literally what she did. DOES!
Every so often she gathers the dragon balls to age herself back one or two years
>I'm pretty sure Bulma started aging backwards at some point
Well she did want to use the Dragon Balls to look 5 years younger in the Broly movie. Wouldn't be surprising if she's done it a few times before then
This is her during the Buu saga when she bothers to actually dress up a bit.
She may be a bitch, but she's a decent looking bitch.
And the rest of the time she looks like this

Bulma might be vain but she's always classy...
Well except when she rocked the afro. That was a bit stupid. And funnily enough that's when she looked the oldest.
She's still such a babe though. The manlet was lucky
>To be honest Chichi aged like milk.
A shame she didn’t dress casually more often.
What is it with Dragon Ball wives being stupid and trying to scold people who could crush them like ants? Feels like Videl is the only one who has the common sense to not fuck with someone like Buu or Beerus
I think you got it wrong. She dressed casually TOO often.
This is her trying to look good like >>4059823
Most women look like shit without a little makeup anyhow, so I'm not surpised.
She cleans up nice though and that counts for something.
Bulma's got it going on though.
That's mostly Chichi
At least Bulma has the brains to not confront them directly. Still, her trying to seduce ZAMASU is equally as retarded... but to her credit it worked with everyone before so... eh.

And Videl still CHOSE to stay in the ring with Spopovich. Remember that
Bulma straight up slapped Beerus cause he ruined her birthday so I doubt she has as much brains as you think
I mean, that’s what she calls it when she opts for that getup over yet another cheongsam or whatever she was holding.
Oh riiiiiight.
Slipped my mind. And that was right after he whooped every Z fighters ass too...
Carry on then
Well... as tempting as doing the traditional hitman things of gathering info are, it's kinda impossible when you are so out of your element you're literally in another universe. So rather than doing that you decide to cheat a little and get some "insider help".
Closing your eyes you focus and send out a psychic ping which functions as a sonar. The wave washes over the entire planet before circumventing the world, turning back and hitting you on arrival.

With that little trick you managed to pinpoint every major player on the board.
Well... their energies. You got no clue which one belongs to whom, with only one or two exceptions.
The things that are certain are as follows: Goku and Vegeta are not present at the moment, and the only ones you can kinda guess are the namekian, that infuriating half-blood and Krillin.
That pretty much settles it as well. While that Piccolo fellow might be dependable you're not exactly on the terms where you'd just pop in and ask a favor from him.
With Krillin however you were much more cordial.

"Guess that's it then...
Hmmmm. He's not even that far from here."

You think for a moment about taking a cab or walking there... but you don't exactly have the luxury of taking things slowly or the know how to hail a cab here.
So that means your only option is to hide in an alleyway and fly up without anyone seeing you.
After taking to the skies, you make your way over to the other city where you can feel the little buddhist moving around.
"Hmmmm... he's quick. Maybe he's in a hurry."

You spot a big billboard with the message "WELCOME TO SATAN CITY!" plastered over it.
Either this is an elaborate joke you're not getting or you're about to see some shit...
You land a bit away from prying eyes and with a brisk jog make your way to the place where you feel the energy heading.
But way before getting there your other senses start picking up things which offer a bit of clarity to you as the sound of police sirens can be heard blaring in the distance.
Deciding to stop in the middle of the road, you wait patiently while the other pedestrians are warning you to get the hell out of the way.
In a few seconds you spot the cause of all this ruckus: A duo of robbers riding a hoverbike, with one of them driving and the other looking backwards and firing a machine gun indiscriminately.

Behind them is the man you're looking for: Krillin.
Well shit, he really is a police officer. You kinda forgot about that.

As the two lunatics continue to fire wildly the streets empty with people running inside wherever they can, all except you.
The driver notices you and instead of trying to steer clear, he seems intent on running you over... or. No.
In the last moment he changes his course and leans to the side. At this rate he'll pass you by without an issue.
Which is when he fucks up and reaches for your briefcase full of cash. He expertly grabs on but when he zooms past the poor idiot almost ends up dislocating his arm as his bike continues to zoom past you.
The two of them still suffer some rather serious injuries as they tumble on the ground, but you made sure to cushion their fall just enough that they won't die outright.

It's at the moment that the bike crashes into a nearby tree and explodes when the cops arrive.
The cars and the one bike all stop and the busy officers quickly get to work.
Krillin is however hesitates when he spots you. Taking this opportunity, you raise your hand and smile.

"Oh wow! I thought you looked familiar!
Eric is that really you? My..."
He looks you over nervously.
"Y-You got quite jacked!"

"What can I say? I've been busy...
I hope you don't mind but I wanted to lend you a hand."

"Oh no, not at all!
I would've done it myself but... you know.
Gotta make sure nobody gets hurt first."


"So anyway, what brings you here?
This is quite far from your home..."

>I'm here on "business". Thought you might be able to help
>Not here. Know any place private?
>Not here. Know any place private?
>>Remember Gokus long distance frien, eal fondness for the color purple, major obsession with being On Time? I’m helping him on a local contract and thought you might be able to help.
>Not here. Know any place private?
>Not here. Know any place private?
>Not here. Know any place private?
>Not here. Know any place private?
>Not here. Know any place private?
...part of me really wants someone to ask us for our autograph, forcing us to explore that we are NOT, in fact, Barry Kahn.
Is Barry even popular anymore or was his career ruined after he turned into a Kaiju?
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"You know, I've been traveling around. Thinking of buying some milk and eggs...
Also helping one of Gokus long distance friends-"

"Which one because there are a lot of those?"

"Oh... you know. Killed Goku?"

"That... didn't narrow it down."

"Likes the color purple, big hard on for being punctual. I guess you could say he likes being on time..."

"Oh. Oooooooooh."

"Yeah. Now you're getting it.
Any chance we could talk somewhere more... private?"

"Y-yeah sure thing."
Turning to his colleagues, whom are busy apprehending the two criminals bleeding out on the floor with several broken bones, Krillin speaks to one of them in particular.
"Hey Sarge! Would it be okay if I left early today?"

"You kidding?
I told you already to go!
Seriously rookie, you're making us look bad!"

"Hehe... Guess my request got approved.
Come! I'll take you somewhere nice and quiet."
Though you're not exactly looking for either of those, if it's safe then it's more than enough for you.

After a brief detour to the precinct and parking down his bike, Krillin lead you through the city which is actually rather small by your standards.
However going by what he said, it's a bit trickier because the city mainly expands vertically and many people prefer keeping their homes "capsuled". Whatever that means.
It doesn't actually take you too long to get the place in question. It's a rather quaint little home, one of the few in the city that's angular and not spherical which is refreshingly familiar.

"Come on. Don't worry, it's safe!"
He leads you up to the door and after unlocking the door he starts shouting.
"Honey! I'm home! And I brought a guest!"

"Oh hey Krillin. You're early."
You hear a voice responding from inside.
"Lunch is not done yet so you'll have to wai-"
As the blonde bombshell walks around the corner and spots you she freezes for a brief moment before returning to normal.
"Oh. Hi kid."

"Miss 18."

"Please. Just call me 18.
Everybody does."
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Aaaaand that's where I'll leave things off for now
And where we shall continue from later
It feels good to be back!

Will post soon when can I run again
Take care until then
thanks for the run nega-son
Looking forward to it man! It was great having you back!

As for Barry... it seems to have gotten swept under the rug, with the idol chick blackmailing him into not being a dick to his coworkers with proof of his transformation and generally douchebaggery. However his career is still intact.
>As the blonde bombshell walks around the corner and spots you she freezes for a brief moment before returning to normal
Oh yeah. It's all starting to come together.
I don't remember. Was this the quest where we got sent on a time patrol/Towa quest and copy of android 18 showed up or was that an Omake?
You did have a run in with the TP thanks to Towa but I don't recall any fake 18's
We joked about stealing 18s for ourselves from alternate timelines where she stayed single, but that’s about it. We’ve all acknowledged her as best girl ooc though, she just happens to be off the table in this particular quest. Gentlemen’s agreement.
I've been meaning to do a little side story this week but as you know I couldn't for obvious reasons
So this may seem like a last minute thing but I actually planned it a while ago
Will write it soon

It seems like U7 Earthlings collectively suffer from Alzheimers because no matter how many times they see crazy shit broadcasted on a worldwide scale, they always seem to forget shit and act just as surprised the fifteenth time as they did the first
>best girl ooc
That's real 21
At the very least the reason they forgot Buu and the planet exploding is cause of the dragons balls.

Dont make me explain how they keep forgetting about the mysterious disappearing and reappearing moon though thing has been destroyed like 2/3 times by now.
How about Cell drinking entire towns like they were fucking Capri Suns
How about Ki or magic mumbo jumbo?
In like the last 5 WMA Tournaments people displayed superpowers, yet everyone acts like they are something new
FUCK! King Piccolo was swinging his big green dick around enslaving the world TWICE! Yet nobody knows who dat green boi wearing a turban is!
Vegeta is not recognized as a terrorist... heck, nobody seems to recall him

OH and I JUST remembered that when Inconscpicuous old mand and Mime showed up NOBODY batted an eye at the fucking Red Ribbon symbols.
That'd be like someone not recognizing a plainly visible Nazi armband on someone IRL
>Mengele comes back from assumed death with superpowers
Truly, they live in the strangest timeline.
I mean. that probably has happened in real life. people would give them dirty looks but not do anything about it so they don't get pulled into a confrontation.
The door of the small house swings open as a pair and their little girl enter.
"Good morning!"
Gohan greets the owner.
"Hello Turtle!"

"Good morning!"
His wife also makes her presence known.

"Oh... Gohan! What a pleasant surprise!
And Videl, it's always good to see you! You know, I was afraid you might end up as Chichi but motherhood looks good on you!"
The old pervy hermit then walks up to the little Pan in Videls arms and begins cooing at her.
"And lookie here? Who came to visit old Master Roshi? Why if it isn't my favorite girl on the whole planet!
Coochie coo!"

While the old guy's busy playing with the toddler, his trusted friend tries his best to take over him as the host.
"To what do we owe this pleasure Gohan?
You don't usually visit us like this..."

"That's right, and I'm sorry.
Master Roshi-"


"I've come to ask a favor from you."

"Well do go on son.
As far as I'm concerned you're family so ask away!"

"I'd like you to train me!"

"Please Master Roshi! He needs this!"

"Sorry Videl. My answer is no..."

"But why?
Didn't you just say he's like family to you?
Is it really that much to ask?"

"No, that's not it.
The sad truth is that I don't have much to teach him. Gohan is already well past the power I could bestow upon him.
Frankly, he'd be wasting his time being tutored by me."

"You misunderstood me Master-"
The Turtle Hermit awkwardly looks over to him with a slightly surprised expression.
"I said I want to train under you, not that I want to get stronger."

"Come again?"

"All I had up until now is power.
Ever since I was a kid I had more potential strength than anyone else! But I never learned how to use it!
Whenever some new threat showed up we were busy "getting stronger". And look where that got me.
Against the Saiyans, on Namek, with Buu... every time I was trying to get stronger and stronger... and I did. But even now I don't know how to fight, all I know is how to throw my weight around.
So no, I don't want to be "trained". I want to learn martial arts!"

Master Roshi grinned.
"Heee heee heee. Well it's about time! I was wondering when it'd occur to you! So much for bein' a genius ain't that right Turtle?
But before I say yes, tell me... what made you think about it?"
Instead of answering Gohan just gently reaches for the hand of his wife.
"I see... Well I guess your instincts as a father and a husband finally kicked in.
Okay, I see no problem with teaching you the ropes. But I'm warning you, I won't go easy on you just because you're Gokus kid.
In fact... I think I'll go on you extra hard. You still okay with that?"

"Yes Master!"

Then I suggest you go home and enjoy yourself for one last day.
Because starting tomorrow... I'm putting you through hell!"
>Cuckhan is training
nothing will come of it
I wonder what the girls are doing now that their attempted initiation of sexytimes encouraged Eric to go on an assassination job in another universe. Knowing Kale she's probably only slightly disappointed but Caulifla is defiantly complaining on 4chan about it.
If he continues to power up, his eventual offspring will put Cuckhan and Pan to shame.
Kale is actually the more upset one
Caulifla finds it hot and the only thing that bothers her is that she doesn't have the time to touch herself
>Caulifla finds it hot and the only thing that bothers her is that she doesn't have the time to touch herself
Not with that attitude she doesn't.
That hilarious moment when they start getting a little desperate and potara up to see if Kefla can think of anything. She wants to go back to the beach because it sounds fun, romantic, and a good excuse to skimp it up without embarrassing themselves. Just one condition: this time Kefla gets to cuddle at sunset with Eric!
I think we could make it worth the wait for them, we could learn multiform while we're here. While I was thinking about how nutting while split into 2(or 4+ for double spitroasting or Bukkake) would work, by complete accident I think I solved the mystery of fusion breeding, I have named my discovery Gappy's law after the 4 testicled wonder himself. When you split the cum in your balls is evenly split between you and your clones until you merge back into a single person. The biology invigorating properties of Ki naturaly increase nut volume by a huge amount and speeds up recovery so theres no concern with the copies having inadequate loads. It was when I applied this property of cellular distribution to females that I discovered the answer to fusion reproduction. When a fusion that had been fertilized de-fuses as long as the zygote devided at least once then half of the cells will be present in each fusee, and the split halves of the zygote will devolp into 2 identical twins with the genetics of all 3 parents carried by 2 different mothers. Another realization is that if a fusion occurs while 2 fetuses that are incompatible of fusion are present, the most likely reason being different sexes, then the fused being would be carrying both offspring as fraternal twins until the fusion ended. The only situation that is not accounted for is if a fusion carried a fetus long enough for it to develop significantly before defusing, but if Kefla could remain fused for that long it wouldn't be a problem. My guess is that there is a 50/50 chance for who will carry the offspring of the fusion when they defuse, possibly even a direct choice by the fused being itself for which of thier component beings carries it, this chance/decision would happen again every time the two fused and defused.
Bukkake? What a lame application of Mutiform. Step aside nerd, feast your eyes on the true potential of the Multiform technique. https://youtu.be/cJtrHIMmMy4
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Sometimes I am terrified by the capacity of the human mind
But times like this, it makes my peepee hard and I don't like it

Blessed Binyot
I mean, we’ve already used telekinesis and such to single-handedly do the work of a fully staffed kitchen. Between that and our magic, splitting into multiple selves to cook is kinda redundant.
It's not redundant at all, with multiple bodies we can engage in multi-person kitchen theatrics that we couldn't before! There's probably some other benefits too (like in the bedroom, and social interaction), but the theatrics is the important part!
Let's not go full Dr Manhattan shall we?

Anyway Im planning on running tomorrow see you goys there
Cool. See you then, Nega-Som.

I can't wait to see Towa's face when we show up again like a slasher villain that the protagonists thought was dead and gone.
Especially with our new and improved majin form!
"Okay 18!"
You respond with a bit more confidence this time.
But it's still quite weird referring to someone as a number. Whatever.
"And if it isn't Marron!"
You kneel down and look at the noseless girl.

She pops out from behind her mothers legs while still holding her hand.
"Hi Mister!"

"You've grown taller since last time haven't you?"
She chuckles as you measure her.
"And what's this? Something grew behind your ear as well?"
Reaching past her face you magically pull out a piece of wrapped up candy and present it to her.
"Would you look at that!"

She takes it eagerly and begins fiddling with it but her mother stops her.
"Not before lunch sweetie."

"Okay mommy!"

The blonde woman then turns to you.
"Don't just stand there, come on in.
I'd like to invite you to a meal as well but I didn't expect Krillin to be back so soon, not to mention you.
Though I could get you a drink I might end up charging you for it."
She says half jokingly.

"That's okay.
I was at a party not too long ago so I'm stuffed.
But I'll accept a coffee if it's not too much trouble."

After nodding 18 leaves for the kitchen and begins setting the table for her family.
Meanwhile Krillin is continues to try and invite you inside.
"Don't just stand there! Come on in!"

You begin taking off your shoes so you don't make a mess of things inside.
Taking a seat at the table you get served a fresh cup of hot coffee and begin savoring it.

The family slowly proceed with their meal, during which Krillin starts questioning you.
"So uh... what's with those glasses?
You got a black eye or something?"

>Oh right. (Take them off)
>Sorry, they stay on
>Oh right. (Take them off)
>Oh right. (Take them off)
>Oh right. (Take them off)
I wonder, can our Buu sense Uub?
>Oh right. (Take them off)
I do in fact have black eyes now, they might be disconcerting to people.
I can't believe we're going to terrify a child.
But it's funny.

Did you forget what Super Buu did to the three of them?
Ehhhhhhhhhhhh. It's fine.
We just have to explain how it happened and make sure we clarify that we call the shots, not Buu.
Besides, it's not like we're letting him out to say hi.
Nah, us and buy are partners. He isnt the boss but he isnt our subordinate either.
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But why? Why would you do that?

Some people just love being the motherfucker going bump in the night.
You realize that you forgot about the thing on your face and now look like that douche who never takes off his shades indoors.
"Oh right, sorry."

Quickly you reach for the thing and attempt to rectify the situation but as soon as you take it off you get interrupted by a girly scream. It's Krillin.

His wife and daughter take a moment to realize what freaked him out but when they do their reactions are equally as strange.
Marron immediately breaks out in tears and starts bawling while 18 raises her hands, ready to smack a bitch.
"Okay! What. The HELL?!"


"D-Dude... have you looked in a mirror recently?!"

"Oh... that.
Well at least now you get why I was wearing those in the first place.
But I certainly didn't expect a reaction like that..."

Krillin then picks up his daughter and tries desperately to calm her down.
"It's okay baby, it's okay! Everything's fine!"
Turning back to face you he begins explaining himself.
"Dude... c-can you put it back now? It's kinda freaking me out!"


"You mean you don't know?! You look just like Buu!"

"Buu?! You guys have a Buu?"

18 answers your question.
"That monster made quite a mess of things."

That monster... he... he killed everyone!
And when he was done he blew up the planet and THEN he almost blew up the afterlife with everyone in it!
Even after all the crazy things that happened since then nobody managed to dwarf what that... THING did!"
You feel a great amount of dread coming not only from the bald midget but his usually stoic wife and his daughter as well.
Looks like your little buddy, or at least his doppelgänger really wrecked the place.

Sighing you close your eyes and walk up to Marron who snuggles close to her daddy and lets out a fearful whimper.
Giving her as warm of a smile as you can, you pat her head and try to reassure her.
"Don't worry little lady. No monster is gonna hurt you!
I promise!"
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Sitting back in your chair you continue sipping coffee with your eyes closed.
"Dude... I know I said to put the shades back but you don't need to keep them closed."

I don't need eyes to see anyway.
Sorry for bringing up bad memories. I know what it feels like, being reminded of the bad times..."

"It's okay.
Not like you knew.
How did that happen anyhow?"

"I've been working on my relationship with my buddy.
It's slowly improving."

"You mean you tamed it?"

"No... educated it.
And once it knew better I made a deal with it.
Though he's still a wildchild our relationship is more symbiotic now."

"Huh... And if I may be blunt, which Buu is in there?"

"What do you mean "which"?
Buu is Buu. There is only one where I come from. Allegedly."

Krillin starts sweating nervously and adjusts the collar of his shirt to breathe a little easier.
Nervously he starts blabbering in an effort to change the topic.
"S-So anyway! What are you here for? You said you and Hit are here?
May I ask why?"

>Tell him about Towa
>Have you noticed anything strange going on?
>I'm looking for someone and need dudes to help. Got any pointers?
>Tell him about Towa
>So have you noticed anything strange going on might be related to her?
>Also have you guys noticed the terror basicly radiating off of the universe? It might be related to her as Hit said it was new as he did not sense it before when he was here.
>Tell him about Towa
>I'm looking for someone and need dudes to help. Got any pointers?
>Tell him about Towa
>So have you noticed anything strange going on might be related to her?
>Also have you guys noticed the terror basicly radiating off of the universe? It might be related to her as Hit said it was new as he did not sense it before when he was here.
>Tell him about Towa
Not bad, not bad
"Well... Like I said I'm here on "business".
Very serious business."

"He means he's here with Hit!"

"Yes Krillin...
Anyway, I'm here about this shewho-"
You look at Marron and stop.
"Lady named Towa. Ring any bells?"

"Can't say it does."

"Yeah, me neither.
Who is she?"

That's odd.
From what you can remember she referenced this universe as being "less of a pain than you are", meaning she was definitely messing with things here.
Either the Time-Patrol handled all of that, or these guys got mindwiped to preserve continuity.
Being a time anomaly really does have its perks.

"A demon. Specifically a demon scientist.
She has a bad tendency of messing with people like pieces on a chessboard and making a mess of things.
Beerus hired us to take care of her. Probably he had enough of her nonsense."


So you can imagine how big of a problem she is."

"Aw jeez! I can't even think of someone who'd have the guts to mess with him!"

"In her defense she does come across as a person that thinks she's above everyone else, god or not.
I bet even if she had a direct boss it'd only be a matter of time before she backstabbed him for her own gain, but that's just my experience.
Also she has a real penchant for messing with time travel. Still doesn't ring any bells?"

"Hmmmmm... Can't say that it does.
But that bit about time travel, yeah that does sound like it'd get Beerus angry.
Apparently traveling to the past and altering it is a big nono. But what does she look like?
Maybe that'll help narrowing it down."

"Long pointy ears, blue skin, red skin-tight bodysuit and rides around on a staff.
Also has a blue bodyguard named Mira. Similar get-up."

"Still nope."

"Dang it.
And I was hoping you'd be able to help..."

"Sorry about that.
The only demon we knew was a guy named Dabura and he's dead."

Something just clicked in your head.
"Dead and demon, huh?"

"What's on your mind?"

It may be a stretch but it's as good of a lead as any.
Back during the Rime debacle she said something about her brother.
This might be the guy she was referring to. After all, not many demons COULD be running around the place if the Makai here is similar to your own.
So that might be a potential lead... but the dude being dead could complicate things.

Just speculating.
But before I go off on a wild goose chase I'd like to eliminate all other avenues first."
You remember that strange feeling that STILL hasn't quite left you.
"Are you guys aware of your universe being practically on fire right now?"
Krillin lets out a mighty groan fused with a sigh and you can feel the will to live drain from his expression as he slowly raises his hand to cover his eyes.
"Yeeeeah... That must be Frieza.
I KNEW we shouldn't have revived him!
What the HELL were they thinking?"

That name doesn't ring a bell but the naming scheme does.
And you don't like it. It makes you angry. Angry about Frost Demons.
"Let me guess... He's one of Frosts people?"

"Yes. We call them Friezas race."

You let out a little chortle.
"Very creative."

"We don't like them enough to give them a proper name so Friezas race it is."

"I'm not judging.
Okay... how about those "power levels" that I've been feeling across the galaxy? And I use the term very loosely because calling it a level is seriously not doing it justice.
Does THAT have to do anything with her?"

That must be Broly, Gokus new favorite playpal."

Your expression darkens. Is everybody in this universe a freak?
Well whatever, at least you can safely rule those out as well.
But this is rather strange. This doesn't feel like her MO. If Towa really was here and active then her presence would definitely be known.

How about anything with your job? You're a cop right?
Notice anything unusual? A rise in crime statistics? Because I'm basically shooting in the dark right now."

"Hmmmmm... There isn't any more than usual.
Robberies were always fairly common but not much else beyond that."

You respond with a hint of sarcasm.
"Well I'm out of ideas. Got anything that could help? Anything?"

Krillin seems deep in thought as he grabs his chin.
"Well I may not be of much help but I know plenty of guys out there!
She's a demon right? That means she's magic. And Tien has this new witch friend...
There is also Yamcha, he has a much bigger social life than I do so... maybe he noticed something?
Alternatively we could ask Gohan. He's one of the smartest persons I know... Well aside Bulma!
Or... we could try *shudders* Fortune Teller Baba. But the old hag's the most miserly person on the planet!"

>Pick however many you want (Exclude people you don't care about)
only ones that seem relevant

I'd like to go with Baba first myself. Mainly because she's a wise old woman and I'm pretty sure we can pay damn near any price she asks, monetarily at least.

A shame we do have a way to find out about Fiend village it has a convenient passage to deamon realm. If only Goku was here he is pretty much the only Z fighter that would know... Well maby Baba would know of the place.


I wanna trust our pal the Krill-Master's decision to not deal with Baba's shit if we can help it. Besides, it'd be great to finally meet the rest of the human squad! However, Tien's witch friend is definitely the more relevant of the bunch, and if it comes down to it, yeah, Baba's our surest bet, miserly bs notwithstanding.
From the looks of it it's the 'umies + Bulma and Baba if and when she becomes necessary.
Glad to see people saying Screw Gohan
From what I'm seeing Baba and Tien are the main attractions as they are the only ones receiving votes from pretty much everybody. Others are just curiosities for most.
Gohan's busy trying not to be a miserable piece of shit. Best we keep away, lest we contract his failure.
Both Bulma and crater boy got three votes.
So I'd be hard pressed to ignore them.
But you're still absolutely correct. Those two are the ones needed to solve the issue, the rest are for funsies
Well at least you have some options.
"And who is this Baba person?"

"She's a fortune teller. Dresses like a witch and a real penny pincher."

"Sounds like a hack..."

"But she isn't! She's very good at what she does.
The problem is that she knows it and demands a hefty compensation for her services.
We're talking about tens of millions of Zeni just for a simple fortune telling and that's one of her cheaper products!"

Ouch! Even when you consider the value of yen and do a one for one conversion that'd still leave quite a hole in your purse.
Well if push comes to shove you can still ask her, but if possible you'd prefer to avoid needing to rely on her assistance.
"Okay. Then how about those guys you mentioned? I'm intrigued by that Yamcha fellow and especially that Tien guy with the witch helper.
And maybe even Bulma. Some extra brains never hurt."

Let me give them a call first!
Wouldn't wanna freak them out by showing up unannounced.
We'll pick up Tien, Yamcha and Yurin then we head for Capsule Corp and use it as a base of operations!
I'm sure Bulma will be glad to help!"

Well, well, well... the cop in shorty finally decided to show himself. Good.
"What's that Capsule Corp by the way? Is it short for Corporation or is it some sort of a unit?"

"The former. Capsule Corporation is THE largest corporation on Earth and deals in the most high tech stuff.
It was invented by Bulmas dad and is now pretty much run by her. I'd show her how impressive they are but I can't afford any capsules.
That also means we'll have to fly and errrr...."


"You'll need to put those glasses back on dude...
Out of everyone only Tien won't freak out from your eyes."

Sighing you put the shades back and head outside after Krillin said goodbye to his family.
Taking off after him you let Krillin lead you.
"Yamcha lives in West City, after we pick him up we head for the Tien-Shin Dojo."

"Lead the way then!"
I don't have enough time left from my shift to write something else
So that'll have to wait until I get back home
Will post once I manage to return

You may take this time to think about what to do with / talk about the other humans because I'm not spoiling much when I say that you'll have some free time with them
We are definitely gonna be mirin Tien and Yamcha's gains.
Also are they gonna be able to recognize Eric now that he's bulked up?
Neither of them have ever seen you actually
Or at least I don't think I included them in the Tournament of Destroyers.
Will proofread that on my way home
They didn’t, but there was an omake where they fought a copy of Eric via Pendulum room.

>talking points

Tien’s third eye, offering Bulma or her cooking staff some advice or a paid consultation on which foods Beerus might like the best given previous eating habits, ways of protecting one’s self from magical scrutiny/scrying and how to foil said methods, various fighting techniques, picking Bulma’s brain on how to find a time traveling witch who doesn’t want to be found, and maybe visiting Roshi if our path leads there.
Oh yeeeeeeah! Thanks for reminding me!
God looks like I have to keep tabs on those as well now
Didn't you write the pendilum room omake? They came upon some deacent gains and revelations there.
Asking Bulma about if she's thought up any good Cybernetics?
Since our Earth is lacking in super-geniuses of her tier.
And we still have yet to incorporate Technology into our repertoire. Vados included it in the list for a reason. Ki, Magic, Psionics, and Technology. The four paths to power.
Good points. Most interested in the 3rd eye as it possibly could be what truly gives Tien his edge (plus general psycic talk with him) , I wonder if Yamch could benefit from the ritual where we chose deamon as our totem? He allready has flashes of Wolf totem after all.
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I'm back y'all
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You fly over to this so called West City and land on the balcony of an actually pretty grandiose apartment.
It's prime real estate with a perfect view at the city, much nicer than the quaint family home of Krillin, though it clearly belongs to a bachelor.
This sort of dick swinging is only in style with people who don't have things like family to worry about and only have to maintain their looks and their opulence.
Krillin knocks on the door and a man dressed in slightly oriental clothing comes out.
"Heeeey Krillster! Long time no see!"

As the two partake in a cheerful reunion with a firm handshake you get to take a closer look at him.
He's rather tall, about the same height as you and has a rather impressive black mane on his head.
In addition he also sports a few scars on his face but they don't appear to be fresh at all.
Indeed he'd be a rather imposing sight if he wasn't so comically underpowered by your standards.

"Hey man! Sorry for calling out of the blue but we got a situation on our hand and we need your help!"

"Awww! Don't mention it man!
I'm a very busy man as you know, being a sports star and all! But I'd make time for you in my schedule any day!"
The guy then gives you a quick glance before turning back to his friend.
"So... this is the guy huh?"

"Yeap. The real deal!"

"Hehe... He uh, he was much smaller in the pendulum room!
Christ all mighty what do they feed him? Growth hormones?"

"Stop miring him already and greet him!"

"Hey dude! Name's Yamcha!
World famous baseball player of the Taitans!
Also part time fighter! Helped my boys save the world a couple of times! No big deal!
And this is Puar! My best bud in the whole world!"
He presents a flying, talking blue cat which WOULD be surprising to you were your boss not one of those.

He's trying to portray confidence but the fact that he's avoiding eye contact and flushed with heat betrays his nervousness.

Part time chef, full time dad.
A pleasure!"

You give his hand a little squeeze just to mess with him and he quickly pulls himself free.
"YOWCH! I was just kidding dude! No need to get all serious now!"

"Sorry. You were just shaking in your boots so much I couldn't resist."

"Well what did you expect?
I feel like my fans when they're asking for an autograph!
It's not every day you meet one of your heroes!"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Oh that-"
Krillin steps up.
"I forgot to mention. Master Roshi's been training both him and Tien the things he learned from you.
They've been making great progress from what I heard!"

It's really an honor to meet you sir and... Thanks!"

>You're welcome
>Hooooo? Care to show me?
>And you Krillin? You don't train with them?
>We can exchange pleasantries later. We got a bitch-hunt to worry about!
>Hooooo? Care to show me?
>Hooooo? Care to show me? I can give you a few pointers, while I’m here.
>Hooooo? Care to show me? I can give you a few pointers, while I’m here.
>Hooooo? Care to show me?
>And you Krillin? You don't train with them?
>You’re welcome
"Always happy to help out my fellow man in this wild wild ride."
>>Hooooo? Care to show me?
>>And you Krillin? You don't train with the
Mild curiosity mixed with arousal it is

Oh and... let's do one roll shall we?
Best of 5
DC:9 Crit:13
Rolled 20 (1d21)

Well there is only one result that would be better.
Rolled 21 (1d21)

Rolled 12 (1d21)

Rolled 14 (1d21)

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Ok you win. Dose this mean we awaken his totem fully or somthing?
"The best way to learn something is to teach it to others." - The Protégé Effect
Self-improvement is not a competition. It is to be encouraged in everyone.
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You spread your arms and let out an impressed gasp.
"Hoooooo? Is that right? Then how about you show me a little bit of your progress!
I'd be very interested to learn from your experience!"

"W-Wha? Really?!"

"Why yes! I could even give you some pointers!
I'm an avid believer in self improvement and encourage it for everyone!
So come on! Don't be shy! Show me the fruits of your labor!"

"I don't know man, is this the time or the place?
I mean-"

"Relax Krillin! The man says he wants a demonstration and I'm eager to provide!"
Yamcha then rolls up his sleeves as he gets ready.
"I hope you're prepared man 'cuz I'm currently the best user of the technique in this universe!
So don't be surprised if I accidentally knock your lights out!"

You grin.
"Well what are you waiting for then?
Do it!"

"With pleasure!"
He lowers his posture and assumes some strange fighting stance which you guess is for some highly personalized style and he forms hooks with his fingers.
As he starts regulating his breathing you see trace amounts of his ki forming into fur like patches before dissipating into his body.
True to his word he manages to make his ki completely disappear... but at the same time he's clearly struggling to maintain it.
"Wolf Fang Fist: Awaken!

He charges you with the image of a wolf surrounding him. Whether it's an illusion or a stand like manifestation of his spirit is impossible to tell and not like you even have the time for it.
The attack is going to hit you and it's packing the strength of a large beam attack focused into the palm of his hands.
If by any chance he misses or you dodge, the energy would level the entire segment of the city behind your back.
But like that'll ever happen!

Grinning you open your own palm and catch his striking hand.
Little more than a slight gust of wind escapes from your little "clap" which manages to leave both of the humans speechless.
Yamcha in particular looks like he's about to choke on his own saliva.
"Not a bad start... not bad at all!"
Then you pull your free hand back and punch him in the chest hard enough to knock the air out of his lungs.

Krillin cries out but when he sees his friend is just winded he recoils.
"Oh right, I forgot. I just thought you got another hole punched into your chest."

"Fhuchk yhouh!"
Kek thats doubly hilarious.
Did we knock him on his ass? Is he curled up in the Yamcha Position trying to catch his breath?
Kinda but he's not on the ground, more like on his knees
Probably just staggered and gasping for breath. Atleast he has an updated instance for pendilum room after he is done with the old one in decade or so.
You lean down to him and start speaking slowly and calmly to Yamcha. Whose energy was sapped from tanking that hit.
"Okay. Now breathe.
Feel the air fill your muscles with strength and stand up!"

His legs are shaking quite a bit but slowly with your helping hand he manages to get back on his feet.
"W-What is... this?"

"That is the limit!
And what lies beyond it is your potential! When your strength is exhausted that's when you can train this!
Without all your energy to get in the way you can practice with the last vestiges of your power and learn how to control it all bit by bit!"

"You okay Yamcha?!"
Krillin asks him.

Though it hurts like hell and I feel tired... It kinda feels like I could keep going like this for hours!
Maybe fight even! This... This is amazing!"

You smile at him.
"Once you're comfortable you can try larger doses and soon you'll be able to control everything.
At that point you'll be able to stand up to others twice your size at the very least! So long as you keep fighting smart that is!"

"Wow... This- This is amazing I feel incredible!
Yes, yes! I feel great! I can win! I! CAN! DO! THIS! HAHAAAAA!
Come on guys! I wanna test how flight feels like this! Let's go to Tien and show this to him!"

>Okay. Let's. Just be careful, you still don't have much energy to spare for flight
>Hold your horses. I got something else to show you (Give him a full demonstration of his end goal)
>Okay. Let's. Just be careful, you still don't have much energy to spare for flight
>Okay. Let's. Just be careful, you still don't have much energy to spare for flight
>Okay. Let's. Just be careful, you still don't have much energy to spare for flight
>Okay. Let's. Just be careful, you still don't have much energy to spare for flight
>Okay. Let's. Just be careful, you still don't have much energy to spare for flight
>Explain some of the ways you’ve trained while you fly there.
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"Okay. Let's go!
Just be careful. You might not feel like it but you don't have the energy to keep flying long distances.
If you feel like you're about to run out do tell us!"

"You can count on me!"

"Okay. BREAK!"

The three of you take off and go on a much longer journey, though with your speed it's still rather quick.
But what you notice is that the energy you're heading for is significantly larger than Yamchas and it has at least two others around it which stand out.
It's located atop a great mountain surrounded by similar, albeit smaller hills.
The serene monastery with a quaint little village around it really reminds you of the old temple that the master martial artist of the Makai called his home.

Krillin and Yamcha take you to the great central temple where several bald guys in green uniforms greet you.
They tell you that their teacher Tien is currently down in the village with most of his students, doing repairs around the settlement. Some big kerfuffle must've happened recently.
After thanking them for directions you head down where you find the man in question, alongside his two companions and they immediately weird you out, perhaps even moreso than the bald midget without a nose.

Tien Shinhan the owner of this fine establishment is thankfully not a furry. What he is however is... hard to describe.
He's bald, whether naturally or due to religious or martial artist reasons is unknown to you. But he also has a third eye right in the middle of his forehead.
Chiaotzu, his little buddy looks like a porcelain doll or one of those chinese hopping zombies and the little freak looks like he's staring into your soul. You don't like it.
Easily the most "normal" out of them is the third one, the so called witch but she looks like a jailbait so... yeah, none of them are normal.
At the very least he, moreso than Krillin and Yamcha COMBINED looks and feels like a martial artist who's striving to better himself to this very day.
So that's a plus at the very least.
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After some brief introductions the triclopse speaks up.
"I see. I'm glad I could finally meet you.
But I must say you are... bigger than I anticipated."

"I lift.
But uh... you seem to have me at a disadvantage.
You know me but I don't know you..."

"My apologies.
Master Roshi told me about you, plus we trained against a past version of you with the help of our Guardian.
I must thank you... your lessons allowed me to grow much as a martial artist. You have my gratitude."
He gives you a slight bow before straightening his posture.
"I'm the creator of the New Crane School and the Tien Shin Style Dojo. These people are my trainees though... most of them don't seem to have any affinity with the higher aspects of martial arts."

"Uh-huh. And your friends?"

"Chiaotzu and Yurin? They were members of the old Crane School like me.
But now we belong to this dojo. And as you can see we're trying to rebuild after an *ahem* unfortunate incident with Yurin."

"Really? She did all this damage?"

"I'm sorry!"
The girl speaks up.
"I acted out of malice and caused a lot of trouble... But I swear I'm trying to atone for it!"

"Her intentions are good and she's a talented sorceress, though her abilities are lacking when it comes to Ki.
Chiaotzu is similar but he's a powerful psychic. And me? As you can see I belong to the Three Eyed People..."

"Yeah it's... rather apparent.
It's just that we don't HAVE people with three eyes!"

"Really? Weird.
Anyway, Krillin told me you need some help.
I'd be glad to pay you back for your techniques so... ask away."

"Actually I'm more interested in Yurin if that's alright with you.
But the two of you are free to come as well if you're craving some action!
And who knows? We might do a bit of "exchange" while we're here!"

The grim guy smiles.
"I like the sound of that!"

"Okay! Well that's settled!"
Krillin shouts.
"Now we should head for Capsule Corps to talk business! Much safer there..."

"Hold on Krillin-"
You stop him and they all look at you.
"I'd hate to be an inconvenience so I'll do this first..."
Extending your hands you start concentrating and the various tools the New Crane School students have been using start floating all at once.
The animated tools and raw material move into place and assemble themselves one by one until only fully intact houses remain.
All five of them, as well as the students AND the pedestrians have their jaws hit the ground at your near godlike display.
With a cheeky grin you turn around and wink at them, forgetting your shades are still on.
"Fyi, I'm ALSO a psychic!"
Aaaaaaaaaand that's it for today fellas
Next time we begin the investigation! With either the Queen of the Saiyans help or that of Lady Coronavirus
See you all later!
welp, thanks for the run man
thanks for the run Nega-Som
>"Fyi, I'm ALSO a psychic!"
"And more than just a little magic - though I'm not really good at using it in a fight. My Master wanted me to get as strong as I can ask quickly as possible, so she encouraged me to round out my portfolio before I start specializing. Diminishing returns and all that."
"...Dude, can we please just go live in your Universe? Being a human there sounds awesome right now."
So, thinking about a sequence here for events;

We are going to be visiting Bulma soon. We can try to sell her a consultation as to how to best placate Beerus’ hunger, reminding her that we are a GoD’s personal chef. We don’t have to sell her any secrets, just point out what he might enjoy better than others and what might regain his favor after discovering that he was scarfing down junk food for the better part of a few years. If she doesn’t have any other useful input on how to track Towa nor any breadcrumbs we could follow, we can then use the consultation fee to go towards offsetting Baba’s cost of fortune telling. Alternatively, we could just try to fight and save the money for other purposes.
Shit bro I think we could leverage for something a little better than that, all things considered.
Like some of Bulma’s fantastical inventions for the kids to dismantle and learn from.
Or the something something capsules so we can lug our gold around easier or package up an entire portable lab to give the kids.
>You wouldn't like it. We keep killing ourselves
>Bro. We get killed every other week!
And both halves agree that being human blows

I mean... Yeah you could teach Bulma in exchange for something.
But wouldn't you rather try Yurin first? She has magic. A thing which is much better suited to tracking a demon

Capsules would be busted. Not gonna lie.
But besides those the Briefs still have access to a shitton of nifty stuff.
Imagine: Gravity Chamber, Geros Android research, Space Ships, Dragon Radar
Blutz waves?
Not sure we'd need the ships, radar or android research (We've got a bunch of better androids already), but a gravity chamber would definitely be nice. Imagine trying to practice with the sword in multiplied gravity. We'd be able to give our baneposting that extra edge with all the muscle we'd put on.
Capsules would singlehandedly fix 99% of our Earth’s resource distribution and transportation issues.
Imagine, if you would, a single semi truck hauling a container full of capsules. Every one of these capsules is filled to the brim with raw steel, fully protected from the elements.
Or air dropping a cargo crate of food capsules into Africa or some shit and the capsules actually prevent food spoilage.
Yeah. Those things are busted
But I'm rather scared of them. I mean what'd happen if you put a capsule inside a capsule? Would the universe implode?
But our androids don't have perpetual motion engines.
>I mean what'd happen if you put a capsule inside a capsule?

Going by bag of holding logic, it creates a rift to the astral plane and sucks everything around into said rift.

So basically pocket black holes.
I doubt it, simply because u7 earth wouldn’t exist anymore if that was the case.
Those retards would try it.
The games do reference that actually. Apparently, capsules can't be put inside capsules normally, someone invented a capsule that could be put inside a capsule and it went pretty bad. https://dragonball.fandom.com/wiki/Capsule
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>This info is also in its sequel Dragon Ball Z: Buu's Fury, where an Orange Star High School teacher says at the end of his lesson that a capsule should never, ever been put inside another capsule.

I-I was just memeing wtf
Anyway, I'm planning on doing an omake once I'm done with the work for today
Just to give you a little something
Adventures of Hit? Aka styling on lame space cops.
>But wouldn't you rather try Yurin first? She has magic. A thing which is much better suited to tracking a demon

Oh, I agree. But not offering Bulma something that could save her lots of headaches something down the road in exchange for some neat tech or something is too great of an opportunity to ignore.

Many people will pay out the nose for convenience. More so if it’s concerns placating temperamental cat deities of destruction.
>We keep killing ourselves
Do you mean each other? Because not counting individual examples of Darwinism at work, we only blew ourselves up the one time!
Shit that's good.... hold on I gotta write this down!

True, conveniece does sell

Yeah. You're right
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Were all men of culture here so I thought I should share some quality culture with you all. Your welcome.
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MMPH, very nice.
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RoButts is a global treasure but I kinda hate his art because it makes me face the reality that this is it.
I'll never get my face buried between those thighs
Instead I get to experience this mundane shithole of a reality
fuck it hurts
Hit never liked these types of jobs, even though they always pay very well.
That's because one needs to put in a disproportionate amount of effort for them.
Finding a big shot in the criminal underworld or a public figure is easy regardless of the universe you're in.
Just find the greatest hive of scum and villainy and start asking questions. Even if nobody can or will answer you, chances are some idiot will be dispatched to take you out for sticking your nose where you shouldn't.
And it's remarkably easy to make those guys talk.

But someone who's completely withdrawn from the public? Yeah, those are a problem and so far Hit hasn't found a surefire way of flushing them out.
The only solution that gets any results is the most sub-optimal of them all: taking wild shots in the dark and hoping you hit something.
Luckily... he seems to have found something.

"Unusually large activity in this sector...
Strange biometric readings... Interesting."
He looked up from his scanner and looked at the space station in front of him.
Seemed little more than a local hub or a pitstop for space travelers. Still, it seemed to harbor some interesting characters.
"Alright, going in."

Luckily the scanners could not pick up the Cube and so he could dock pretty much without anyone realizing.
And with the size of his ship he didn't even need to make use of a landing pad.
After leaving however he bumped into some trouble, the local dock workers started swarming the place.
While their poking won't amount to much Hit can't afford to get caught by them so he did his thing and snuck out without applying time-skip, least he tipped off his mark.

It didn't take him long to find the local bar where he immediately got to work.
"I'm looking for someone. Have you seen her?"
He flashed a picture of Towa.

"No drinks, no talk. Now scram weirdo!"

"Okay. A glass of water please."
He gets served his drink and the bartender without as much as looking at the picture turns away.

"Sorry never seen her."

"Hmmmm. Now listen here and listen well-"

Just as he began one of the bouncers walked up to him and tapped Hit on the shoulder.
"Are you deaf pal?
He said he doesn't know! Now take the hint and piss o-"

Without acknowledging the hulking brute the assassin drove his elbow into the tough guys gut, making him fall to his knees and cry for mercy.
"I'm going to ask you one more time.
After that I'll stop being nice. Where is she?"
But he got no answer.

And just as he resigned himself with a sigh another presence approached him.
This one however was... different.
Man, robutts makes the best damn art.
They used to have really wonky anatomy and lazy painting and kinda overcompensated with tits and ass.
I'm glad they've gotten much better over the past 2 years.
Not with that attitude you won't. I heard tulpas can become tangible to your senses if you work on them enough. Just be careful about it and make sure to make a fail-safe Tulpa killing gun in case anything goes wrong there are more than a few horror stories about constant unending screaming that you can't block out with earplugs or brutal butt rape but that only happens when a retard does something stupid and also didn't make the gun before the tulpa. In short, make a fucking gun thought form before you do anything and whatever you do don't even try to do those guides about setting up a way for you and your tulpa to switch who is in control of the body, that shit is asking for disaster.
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Unending screaming breaching all manner of defense? Brutal buttrape?
You underestimate my despair mein negroid.
I'd not mind living with a Shoggoth or the inevitable madness following it if it reciprocated my love...
Those are only the extreme critical failures if you are careful you won't have anything to worry about. This link will give you a good source of info (https://www.tulpa.info/) , just let it be known that A. A good chunk of the forums are /mlp/fags but at the very least their extreme autism has brought good information and results B. It takes time and effort for your designer waifu to come to fruition and full sentience but not a crippling amount of time and effort, C. You can actually fuck and have kids with them, it's weird but it just works and D. No one will be able to see them but you, unless you make another Tulpa.
Hit starts analyzing them.
Standardized uniforms, members of the same organization. Non-threatening design, definitely not army. Police force maybe?
His eyes are drawn to the symbol on their armor. Definitely police force.
The only question is if they are local or more wide spread.

Law enforcements are sadly among the groups that Hit usually ignores.
They neither interest him as targets nor could they stop him. But the shorter of the pair... that one could be trouble.
Hit readies himself for the worst.

"Hey you! What the hell is going on here?
Is there a problem?"

"Y-Yes officer!"
The bartender immediately tries to bail out.
"This man just attacked one of my employees! Arrest him!"

They both draw their blasters and aim at Hit.
The short one begins barking orders at him.
"Put your hands in the air. Both of you.
You're hereby under arrest for assault charges. Until we can verify the validity of the claims we're putting you under arrest."

Hit plays along and extends his hands.
"Very well. Cuff me then."

The short one starts approaching him with his blaster still trained on him, unlike his colleague.
Looks like this one is at least competent. But that won't matter in a second.
Once he's close enough the Galactic Patrolman takes out a pair of handcuffs and steps up to Hit to restrain him.
"Smart choice. You really should think twice before attacking someone."

As he gets close he enters Hits "absolute zone". In such a close proximity a time-skip attack is all but unavoidable.
Time freezes completely but most shockingly the little blue skinned bastard is fully conscious for the full duration of the effect.
It must be harrowing for him, being forced to watch, not being able to defend himself.
Not that he couldn't. Hit saw him beginning to move but it was too little, too late. He seized the opportunity already.

Striking the guy in the stomach with a full powered pin-point attack, he catches the guy as he falls like a potato sack.
"And you shouldn't act tough with those toys... 'outsider'."
Hit whispered in his ears.
"I know the rules that bind you and your anatomy. Get in my way again and I'm attaching your halo to my resume... understood?"

As Hit knocks the guy out with a chop to the neck he walks away while the other peacekeeper is on the verge of soiling himself.
But with the revelation that the anomalous reading was none other than an angel in training, he could safely leave without causing further mayhem.
"One down... a thousand more to go."
>it's a shitting on Merus episode
I just decided to mix the pleasurable with the useful
I fulfilled a good request while also making myself feel a bit better. I'm going to try and not let my personal bias dictate my actions tooooooo much in the future
fucking blueberry prick
You pretty much treated Menus as he should be. He's powerful sure, but he's nowhere near top dog, and inexperienced to boot. Hit shitting on him is no surprise. He's just lucky most of U7's strongest are either strong enough for him to know not to fuck with them or have beef with him, otherwise his shit would've been pushed in long ago.
*have no beef with him
how strong is merus supposed to be? all i know about him, is that he is a super speshul oc
Ultra Instinct tier lol.
He's an Angel is training, so comparable to Whis and Vados.
He's especially inexperienced though, and he's still quite young for his kind.
That's an apt description
Literal youngling Angel in training tossed into a universe so he could get used to and learn about mortals
But there are several rules restricting him because, as you might imagine, throwing a god and letting him go nuts in a universe is a recipe for disaster

He's not allowed to use his angelic powers. At all.
The only exception to that is the one applying to all angels: Training someone else
But you may ask "Then how is he in the GP?"
The fucker is using a loophole. He CAN'T use his angelic powers but he CAN fight without them, so he's exclusively using blasters and GP gadgets like hover boots (He might not even be allowed to fly for all we know)
These rules are so tight that after training Goku to use Ultra Instinct he wanted to properly spar with him just a little and the SECOND he attempted to use his angel powers Whis came in and said "Okay you little shit, you're done. Pack your things and go home"
And he got lucky because it was gonna be either the Grand Priest or Zeno by default.

So yeah, he's basically Superman unable to use his powers and pretending to be Batman.
Which is not a bad idea mind you but it's fucking ridiculous in the context of Dragon Ball

I mean at least this kinda explains why he never took out Frieza or... pretty much anyone else.
He can't. Not with those peashooters
tbf one of those peashooters took down Goku in Resurrection of F IIRC
And Freeza can't sense energy.

Just snipe Frisbee lol.
They tried retconning that so Goku turned off Blue when that happened and got banged up pretty bad.
But yeah it was dumb

He can now
And due to his bullshit physiology he wouldnt even flinch from getting railgunned
But now it's starting to become apparent while Maryus is such a shit character
Quick littld update: I'm gonna run tomorrow
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The crowd slowly turns to face Chiaotzu and they start glaring at him real hard.
He asks.

"How come you can't do that?"

"He's built like a brick shithouse with enough potential to rival Gohan.
I'm not exactly ready to compare myself to him."

"Eh... fair enough."
Yamcha admits.
"Plus you can't even focus. All the enemy has to do is give you a math question and you're out."

"That is the most infuriating thing I've ever heard that I completely agree with."

You turn to look at him and cock an eyebrow.
"You're a psychic as well?
Neat. Never met another one aside Hit."

"Yeah. But I'm mostly bad at it and fighting in general."

"Still... you're far stronger than the average human from what I'm sensing.
If you want I could... give you some pointers? Maybe?"

"I appreciate it but I can't really keep up with the others.
So you really shouldn't waste your time on me. I usually train with and help Tien but I'm just not getting stronger myself."

You shrug at that.
If he doesn't want your help then there's no point in pushing it on him.
"Okay Krillin... It's up to you now.
Lead the way."

"Guys! Let's go to Bulmas place!
Eric can give you the details there!"

After taking to the air it takes you a little while to get to Capsule Corps since Tiens dojo is in such a remote location.
Upon arrival the blue haired woman is already standing outside.
She waves at you.

The Z-fighters go through their greetings until only you are left.
Walking up to you she extends a hands for you to shake.
"Welcome! Please make yourself at home! Everyone else does."

"Were you waiting out here all this time?"

"I have scanners that alert me whenever a bunch of powerlevels are coming this way.
Makes it easier to prepare for unannounced guests!"


The humongous dome with the big Capsule Corporation name written on it conceals an equally impressive interior with many rooms dedicated to various types of research.
There's even a great garden which you have trouble determining if it's just for relaxation or if it functions as an arboretum.
"So... I assume something bad is going on, seeing as another Universe is involved."

"It's not what you think-"
You try your best to explain the situation to her.
"My involvement in this is equal parts professional... and personal.
The being Beerus hired us to hunt down is a demon scientist named Towa. She's originally from here but had the audacity to mess with me personally.
After she returned Lord Beerus presumably had enough of her and hired us, seeing how we already have a history with her."
After the abridged version you went into detail about her personality, methods and her boytoy.

"Sheesh! Time Breakers?! I'm beginning to think this is out of our league!"
Krillin gasps in disbelief.

"I see. That is not good at all.
But before I agree to anything... what's your plan exactly?"

>I just need some help finding her. After that, it's me and Hit
>We'll need your full support. Just the two of us isn't enough
>I just need some help finding her. After that, it's me and Hit
>>I just need some help finding her. After that, it's me and Hit
Lol, go home scrubs
>>I just need some help finding her. After that, it's me and Hit

Towa gonna be shitting herself when Hit shows up, then start having a full-on breakdown when we bust through the metaphorical wall like a psychic Kool-Aid Man of pain and fear.
>psychic Kool-Aid Man of pain and fear
And don't forget Buu!
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O-Okay... no fun allowed for the 'umies it seems
Though the humans have made lots of progress, fighting Towa isn’t going to be a small matter. It’s not exactly something that would be safe to bring people on as a training mission or something along those lines, especially since Hit might opt to try to do an unconventional stealth route that involves advanced timeskip and/or time and space fuckery to evade Towa’s notice.

There’s also the off chance that they might try and tail Eric anyhow.
"Easy. You guys help me find Towa, then Hit and I will take care of the rest-"

"Now hold up just a moment!"
Yamcha steps forward in his objection.
"I thought we were gonna do this together! That's why we gathered the old crew isn't it?"

"I never said that-"
You retort.
"But okay. What was the biggest threat you faced?"

"Uuuuuuuh... the Frieza Force?"

"Hey don't lie Yamcha! You weren't there when Frieza came.
Besides... those chumps were inferior to the androids anyway."

"I-I meant when Frieza came back!
R-Right, then the androids! Yeah! Those guys!"

And are these the guys I heard about? The ones that punched a hole in your chest?"
Yamcha seems to swallow nervously.
"Now... I'm guessing I'm a fair bit stronger than those guys. But correct me if I'm wrong!"
No response.
"Okay. So let me paint a little picture... I took no less than FIVE other people with me when I last tussled with them.
Here, let me name drop a few: Cabba, Caulifla, Kale, a genuine demon and Frosts brother!
Do you think you're their caliber?"

"Well uh-"

Tien answers for him.
"We get your point. They are dangerous.
So all you need from us is a pack of bloodhounds correct? Find her for you so you can take her out."

But once I'm done I'd be more than happy for a little cross-dimensional exercising.
Y'know, to pay you back for the favor."

Yeah, that sounds acceptable.
Okay. How do we do that then?"


>Bulma, it's a stretch I know but do you guys have anything we could trace a demon with?
>Yurin, I heard you're a witch of sorts. Can you find evil energies?
>We split up. I'll stay here and coordinate you guys while you search the entire planet, since you know it better than I do
>Bulma, it's a stretch I know but do you guys have anything we could trace a demon with?
>Bulma, it's a stretch I know but do you guys have anything we could trace a demon with?
>Yurin, I heard you're a witch of sorts. Can you find evil energies?

Bulma might not have the tech for this, but she’s super smart. She might be able to suggest ways for Yurin to use her magic to detect any trails that Towa left behind, or to extrapolate ways in which to indirectly track Towa if Yurin can’t detect her using her usual methods.
>Yurin, I heard you're a witch of sorts. Can you find evil energies?
>Yurin, I heard you're a witch of sorts. Can you find evil energies?
>Do you need a sample? To know how demon magic/energy feels in general? [Manjin mode activate? Tap in to small bit of Buus power?]
>Bulma, it's a stretch I know but do you guys have anything we could trace a demon with?
>And keep an eye on those Saiyans you guys hang with. If there's trouble, I'm willing to bet it won't be long before it bumps into them.
>So all you need from us is a pack of bloodhounds
Ouch. Maybe we should've written-in something with more tact...
If we weren’t going up against enemies that are SSJ3 tier at the very minimum, it might have been OK. But it’s best to be blunt about these things when we needed Kefla to win against them last time.
>Yurin, I heard you're a witch of sorts. Can you find evil energies?
>Do you need a sample? To know how demon magic/energy feels in general?

This one seems to have garnered the most traction

Oh and good news. I get to leave early today
"Well... I know it's a stretch buuuuut... you don't happen to have something we can track a demon with, do you?"

Despite being attacked by one of them once they are really not that much of a threat to us compared to everything else.
So we never really needed one."

"J-Jeez guys, no need to look so ashamed! I was just joking!
But... are you saying you COULD make one?"

Bulma points up.
"Well it's definitely a bit of a reach but IF they happen to have some distinct form of energy we could trace then sure, I don't see why we couldn't."
You look at her with a mixture of confusion and fear.

"You just said that so casually... are you for real?"

"Yes. If they indeed have something unique about them we can measure AND we get a sample to test things on then I'd say it's very plausible.
Why? Is there something you know that we don't?"

"Actually Bulma-"
Tien replies.
"Back when Babidi came to Earth and he brought his friend Dabura he... did feel off.
He had power that rivaled Cell so sensing him wasn't exactly that difficult. And he felt like pure evil!
Not even Frieza felt that bad and that guy is as bad as a mortal can get."

You nod.
"Can confirm.
Though they use ki and magic their... distinct nature makes them easy to identify.
I imagine it's not only because of what they are but also where they live. The Makai definitely rubs off on you..."

Bulma starts scratching her head.
"That still doesn't get us any closer. I mean I'd need a sample first.
And last time I checked there aren't any demons running around the place.
Unless you guys are keeping secrets from me again..."


Meanwhile you're just sitting on your ass thinking about the possibilities.
There IS one source you know of but it's obviously not the most optimal if you don't want to freak out everyone... and given Buus vastly different physiology it might not even work.
Buuuuut. They did mention something.

>I got a pet demon. How about that?
>How about Dabura? Do we have anything from him we could use?
>I got a pet demon. How about that?
>I got a pet demon. How about that?
>How about Dabura? Do we have anything from him we could use?

If they have any local samples of Dabura lying around, that’s be the easiest method. Though I’d guess Hit wouldn’t take too long to get Sala here if we needed her.
>How about Dabura? Do we have anything from him we could use?

Baba? Yea Baba. Seems most usable as she is his sister less of a distance atleast blod wise possibly also energy wise.
>I got a pet demon. How about that?
>How about Dabura? Do we have anything from him we could use?
>One options comparatively easy but has uncertain usefulness as my pall is anomaly even by demon standarts. Other options harder but more likely to work as I think both are related by blood.
>Wait, I have a fragment from a genuine demon! Do you think it might have some residual energy? (Pull out the Slayer's Mask)
We keep that in a pocket dimension right?
That might not be a bad idea if we kept it after it got wrecked.
>tfw you provide a perfectly good opportunity for Eric to meet Buu and then anon slays it with >>4075323


But it will take a while as my shift is over
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I'm sure Tubby already knows we're here.
I wouldn't be surprised if he just showed up and tried to murder us.
Now why would you think that?
Mister Buu is a good goyim. He wouldn't do such a thing. Trust me!
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Of course. I wouldn't even entertain the thought.
Depends if he’s asleep or not, really.
Aight I'm bacj!
Let's roll
Okay, now that write-in just saved you quite a lot of hustle.
But let's roll for a lore check once to see if you manage to bypass the entire rest as well
Best of 4
DC: 13 No Crit
Rolled 14 (1d21)

Rolled 4 (1d21)

Rolled 1 (1d21)

Rolled 1 (1d21)

A'ight. Looks like Erics time in Heck came in useful after all
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Any significance in that? I say ignore that the good point of this quest is that ones do not wreck our face.
No. But if that 14 wasn't there then yes, there would be
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Suddenly an idea comes to mind.

As you swipe with your hand and create a hole to your handy mallet space you manage to scare the ever living SHIT out of everyone but Krillin and Bulma.
They all start incoherently screeching until the cueball finally shuts them up.
"Okay guys we get it. Sheesh...
I thought I told you he can do that! And what about the Pendulum room training?!"

Tien shouts.

"Can you guys just shut up?!"
Bulma snaps at them.
"So... what did you come up with all of a sudden?"

You present to her the broken remnants of your once precious mask.
"Would these suffice?"
She takes a look at them with genuine curiosity mixed in with a hint of revulsion.
"It's genuine demon bone. Think you can get a sample out of this one?"

"Uuuuuuh... we'll see. Probably.
But if it's too old then there might be nothing left in there. We'll see.
Let me check-"
She takes away the thing and hurries into her lab and makes it very clear she doesn't want any of you getting your grubby little hands on anything by locking you all out.

The others take this time to look at you.

"What Krillin?"

"Where did you get that?"

"From the Demon King."

"Ah. So it was an artifact and-"

"I ripped off his head and wore his jaws as a mask.
Then it got broken. I held onto it because it has sentimental value.
But I uh... I'm not good at handicraft. I'm pretty sure if I tried glueing it back together I'd somehow unleash armageddon."

*cough cough*


"I wore it to obscure my identity!
You think I'd wear it to a friendly competition?!
I didn't want to scare the piss out of you guys!"

And at that moment Bulma burst out of her lab, delivering you from the awkward conversation.

"Wow... that was fast."
>"Wow... that was fast."
I still wonder to this day how many of her inventions and discoveries were made possible simply by copying the Frieza Force's homework when she and her dad reverse engineered the living crap out of the scouter and attack pods captured from the saiyans. Like, her scanners are almost definitely derived from their sensors, right?
They absolutely are
But unlike with us and alien tech, in the case of the Briefs it just gives them a good direction.
Then they fucking rocket off at light speed and surpass anything the ayy's developed
Oh well. Demon radars for Z-Fighters incoming. Hope that leads to Fiends village quickly if she truly is doing the obvious and hiding in demon relm.
I mean they had crazy shit like capsules and flying vehicles of their own.
Then, after getting a Saiyan pod the crazed asshole Dr Briefs made a BETTER ship than the pod
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"It wasn't that difficult.
I just retooled one of the scouters we had lying around and made it detect this... strange energy emanating from the bones.
Now I just gotta hook it up to our long range scanner aaaaaaand.... go!"

To say that the display is rudimentary at best would be generous.
It's just all these squares making a circle which is expanding constantly.
In the middle of the screen you see a few faint dots of light blinking slowly.
You stare at it for a few minutes until the thing stops expanding and ask the obvious.
"Erm... are we supposed to see anything?"

She slams her head in the desk, but not at your comment.
"Damn it!"

"What's wrong?"

"This is... nothing!
It should display the energy in little dots like these across the galaxy!
But there is nothing!"

"W-Wait, this little thing just scanned the entire GALAXY?!"

"Well more like South Galaxy but yes."
You are more and more amazed by the loopy land logic of this universe every second.
"But it's only showing signals coming from here! Earth. But these are so faint that I can't get a good read on them.
All that means is that RECENTLY there were demons here."

You let out a sigh.
"That's what I thought... I haven't sensed anything from her and what little we gathered with Krillin pointed at her not being here."
But as you say that something hits you. She said there were signs of her being here in the past. So the trail is not cold! Which means...

"H-Huh?! Me?
I'm not good with machines so-"

"Can you use the mask to locate its energy source?"

But didn't Mis Briefs say that-"

"I don't WANT you to search the galaxy!
Can you check other realms? Like the afterlife or the makai? I'm willing to bet she's in one of them!
Maybe not the makai because... that's where I'd search for her first."

"U-uuuuuuh. Yeah, I mean I can give it a shot."
You hand over the mask fragments to Yurin who puts a paper slip on each fragment and begins to intensely concentrate.
Her aura begins to glow purple as the darkness from the mask is drawn out. She's clearly in intense pain, so much so that Tien tries getting her to stop but she does it on her own.
Panting and sweating she looks up at you. The ritual clearly took its toll on her and now she can barely stand.
"F-Found her-"

"Alright! I knew it! Makai it is!"

"S-She's not in the Makai-"


"She's hiding in Hell."

>Call Hit. Immediately
>Well we're fucked! Anyone knows a way to hell? Cause I don't!
>Call Hit. Immediately
>Call Hit. Immediately

we can just call him to tell him we know where he is and to regroup on earth, and then ask them about hell
>So did someone kill her allready in the time between the commission and our arrival?
>Anyone knows a way to hell? Cause I don't! I doubt I can pull the same BS to gain access to a new relm here without Vados low key trowing her authority around like before.
>Call Hit. Immediately.
>Call Hit. Immediately

I don’t suppose that means we don’t have to worry about anything because she’s getting her just punishment as dictated by King Yemma?
I doubt it but that is a valid question to ask atleast IC.
>Call Hit. Immediately
Okie dokie

Come on son
We both know that's just wishful thinking
Yeah, that was too much to hope for. But a man can dream.
Note to self: the stripper’s magic can apparently bamboozle the Other World overseers and King Kai’s omniscience, though we do know full well that omniscience is still capped by actual alertness and awareness.
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"It's just as I said.
I checked the Makai like you asked but... It was so full of demonic presence I couldn't find anything.
However when I checked Hell I... felt the same energy that's here on Earth. Only much stronger.
Alongside another, even greater one-"

You tap the plug inserted in your ear-hole and give the man the call.
"Hit. I found her. Come meet me at Earth."

"I'm on way way.
Where is she specifically?"

There is an audible silence coming from the other side.
"I have no clue how we'll get there. I'll think of something by the time you arrive."

"Hold on. Are you saying she's dead?"

"I doubt that.
Otherwise the contract would be terminated, correct?"

"Yes. That is true..."

"So that means one thing: She's hiding there right under the nose of everyone.
I asked some locals for help and they'll verify what I just said.
Call me when you get near!"
And you cut the line there.
"Okay... That settles that-"

Krillin shouts in fear.

"Well duh..."

"Oh damn.
W-Well I guess Yamcha and Tien never saw him! That's a bonus, right?"
He looks at you desperate for a response but you mainly just ignore him.

"At any rate we got a situation on our hands.
I don't know if Towa is aware of our machinations but if she is then we don't have much time before she relocates herself.
So I'll be brief. Does any of you have any idea on how to get INTO Hell... and presumably get out as well because I don't think you can leave that easily."

"Well Goku did once.
Not sure how he pulled that off."
Tien grumbles.

"Okay. Focus on the getting IN part for now.
Because by this point I'm pretty adept at getting out of hellish dimensions."

"Well Hell is under Snake way!"
Yamcha answers.
"When we died Kami took us to King Yemma and from there we went to King Kai.
The devils there told us if we fall we'd go straight to Hell!"

And Kami is your Guardian I assume."

"That's correct."
Says Tien.
"But... you have Majin Buu or at least a version of him in you, right?"

Why do you ask?"

"Because after he killed us all that monster had no issues entering Otherworld while he was still alive.
That means you don't necessarily have to die to get in. And that it's possible to do so in the first place."

>I'll take my chances with your Guardian
>Then we're doing this manually
I mean it was clear she could do that already.
She eluded the TP, every single god in existence and Zeno all this time
>Then we're doing this manually
>I'll take my chances with your Guardian
>>Then we're doing this manually
wait, screw that

>>I'll take my chances with your Guardian
>>Ask buu what his opinion is then if no
>>I'll take my chances with your Guardian
That seems to be the Guardian

Oh and
Do you want to call him Little Green or no?
I always thought that was more of a "she no longer naturally anchored to any time stream or universe" sort of thing rather than just being that good at magic. And I dunno that Zeno cares to personally intervene or even look unless someone brings matters to his attention most of the time, so dodging him is mostly just a matter of not offending him or catching his interest.
Only if Killin dose it first. We copy him he seems like the one who has his shit together the most. (unlucky for us Dende is mildly irritated by the nickname.)
Eh... While I agree with the time-displacement she does have a few things under her belt.
>She bamboozled the SKoT multiple times (admittedly not a big achievment but hey)
>Created Mira
>Came up with ways to not only properly alter the timeline but also harvest energy from it when it's inevitably fixed
>Invented mind control helmets
>Improved on the Tree of Might
Most of what you just cited (save for the SKoT) seems to actually be demon science. Hell, even the wiki refers to that stuff as technology, and apparently she's got the whole "lousy fighter but a brilliant scientist!" thing going on. Fuck, Mira is basically a demonic Cell. She probably substitutes her magic instead of using actual lab equipment though. Girl really toes the line between "magic" and "sufficiently advanced technology."
Sometimes, especially when there's a material result involved, but probably more like magically executed superscience. Like, knowing to rearrange molecular and atomic structures to create nuclear isotopes, but actually doing so with a wave of your staff.
>"That's correct."
>Says Tien.
>"But... you have Majin Buu or at least a version of him in you, right?"
Wait where’s the autistic screeches of pure animal terror from the local humies?
So what you're saying is, she's basically Evil Demon Bulma?

I'd call her a bitch too, but Bulma has that category all locked up whenever she wants it. It's part of why Vegeta likes her so much.
Bulma and Krillin saw it first hand
Tien and Yamcha were told by Krillin before the Pendulum room because if anything THAT shouldn't be a surprise
And Yurin barely knows what you're talking about, she's half conscious
Looking over your shoulder you create a little *poof* and from it the spectral chibi Buu head appears.
He's snoring loudly with a large bubble sprouting from his nose. You suspect you'll need to teach him how watching anime in your memories is not a good idea.
The Z-fighters, with the exception of Yurin freak out and start shrieking like little girls as they see the snoring nuke you just summoned.

You prod him a little, making him snap awake and quite mad.
"Hey Buu. I wanna go to Hell and I need help."

Even though his vocabulary isn't too big he still doesn't use what little he has and instead sticks his tongue out at you before flipping you off.
You pat his head until he falls back asleep and *poof* him back in place.
"He says no."

"G-Great! Now could you not annoy him anymore?!"

"Wow you guys had it rough with him didn't you?"

"You... have no idea!"

"So anyway, I guess that leaves your Guardian as my only option.
His name was Kami, right?"

"Oh no. Piccolo ate him.
New guys name is Dende!"
Krillin says.
"We'll take you to him!"

And with them promising to help you out the guys waited with you patiently for the arrival of the assassin.
Luckily for you Hit was already familiar with the layout of the, well the world so he found you easily.
After some very quick and very rushed greetings and introductions the local humans started leading the two of you to the planets guardian all the while Tien was sizing up Hit.
"You know for all your reputation... I bet I could-"

"I don't care."

"Well... somebody is not very talkative.
What's wrong? The drop out still stings?"

"No. How about yours?"


"You know Tien-"
Krillin turns to him.
"Teasing Vegeta is one thing. Teasing the guy that flat out murdered Goku once is straight Yamcha tier stupidity."

I don't deserve these jokes anymore!"

"Prove it and we'll stop-"
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After a brief flight you arrive to what can best be described as a really, really tall pole in the middle of nowhere.
The other humans signal for you to head upwards and you pass by a small structure as you continue along the length of the tower.
Finally when the sky starts blackening you find at the top a lookout of sorts.
"So this is where your god resides... not very subtle is it?"

"But effective!"

You all land and get greeted by... something.
At first you're not sure if it's even alive but when it started moving you felt a deep shock shaking you to the core of your being.
It looked like something Walt Disney would've made back when he was allowed to freely express himself.
For a moment you felt like laughing but a strange gut feeling forbade you to do so.
As comical as the Niggerman was there was something sinister lying under the surface.

"Heya Mister Popo!
We came to see Dende!"

"He knows."

And as his words started ringing in your ears from within the temple like structure in the middle strode out a little green thing.
"Aw cool you guys got a namekian for a Guardian!"

"Yes, we do.
My name is-"

"Hey Little Green! I'm Eric!"
You go ahead and pat the adolescent alien on the head.
For a few seconds you stare at him with a big goofy smile on your face until he takes his staff and starts beating you over the head with it.


"O-Okay! Just please! Calm down! And keeps those claws away from me!"

Once he sees you are completely freaked out by him the young god calms down.
"Okay okay. No need to be afraid.
Listen, I know what you've been up to and who you are.
So... let's just say that I'll help you. However don't expect me to bail you guys out once you're in there! Got it?
If I try that King Yemma would chew me out."

"And what do you expect from us in turn?"
Hit asks.

"You're as sharp as they say Hit...
But there is nothing I specifically would want.
So let's just leave it at an IOU. 'Kay?"

>No deal
>"This better not be some weird thing with sacred ointments or something."
>dende"that sounds like something super kami guru would ask for"
It's a deal then
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"I'll take that deal.
Just hope it's not something with sacred ointments and altar boys-"

"That sounds like something Super Kami Guru would say-"

"Nor does it involve hotboxing-"

"THAT sounds like something Guru would say!"

"Or the trial of pain-"

"D-Do you know our former elder?

"Honorary best boy of Namek!"

"Wait! So you got high with an elder and went on a vision journey?"


"And you did the trial of pain?!
I thought that was banned!"

"Not where I come from.
Did most of the trials actually.
Got a wish from Porunga too!"

"Well then... Come with me! I'll take you to King Yemma.
Can't guarantee anything beyond that. However... I'd like you to have this first."

Dende then hands you a small piece of carve wood.
"Uuuuuh what's this?"

"N-word pass."

"Shiiiiet my Namek!
Much appreciated!"
You fist bump the little guy and go in.
AAAAAAAAND that's where I'll have to leave y'all to it
Next session might happen on Wednesday. We'll see
But at that point we'll properly get down to business
And I might have something interesting in store for you all...

Take care of yourselves until then
thanks for the run not-som!
Thanks doc
>Dende then hands you a small piece of carve wood.
>"Uuuuuh what's this?"
>"N-word pass."
Please tell me it's small enough to hang from our keychain. I want to be able to literally dangle our literal N-word pass from literal god in front of our Earth friends back in u6.
>"N-word pass."
I am deeply honored. This has been a long time coming.
Also did Popo hear our internal monologue call him niggerman?
...I got curious and looked it up. Apparently consumer hover/flight technology was reverse engineered by Dr. Briefs from Jaco's ship. So far his most spectacular achievement is the DynoCap capsule tech, which is hilarious because Toriyama first introduced the concept in a oneshot where they were ALSO basically alien technology. Granted, they also had to be boiled, but I kinda wanna headcannon that Dr. Briefs managed to get his hands on one of the proto capsules and reverse engineered them too, rounding out the Briefs as a bunch of geniuses that excel at reverse engineering advanced alien technology instead of coming up with their own shit.
I mean that's still a pretty big achievement so U7 scientists are still pretty brilliant
There are also the matters of Bulmas gizmos, like the Dragon Radar. Granted it MIGHT be based on some obscure alien tech
Or... pretty much anything Gero did. That dude especially was a genius. Mad... but a genius none the less


But he saw
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Speaking of Gero, does Bulma still have 16's old schematics? Is there a reason she isn't building jobber bots now that Frieza is making a habit of attacking Earth?
She undoubtedly does but... why bother?
The only one that is any relevant now is best lad 17
And creating one like him is a bit too unethical for Bulmas taste
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Also boy oh boy...
What a glorious day this is!
Now I'd be halfway tempted to get FighterZ if it wasn't so god damn expensive
>Or... pretty much anything Gero did. That dude especially was a genius.
NOW we're talking. Dude spent the better part of two decades pioneering, developing, and exploring human enhancement technology pretty much from scratch, practically by himself save for the resources the Red Ribbon Army gave him. Now THERE'S an unquestionable genius.
Also, for being a villain the dude has such a sympathetic backstory
>Your lifes ambition is destroyed before your eyes by a fucking child
>Your son is also brutally murdered by said child
>Your wife (according to the Kakarot game) leaves your ass
>Dedicate the remainder of your days to destroying the fucker who ruined your entire life by kidnapping and experimenting on orphans
>In your depression try to recreate your son in the form of an android and program it to be a pacifist to honor his memory
>Have your own creations kill you
>Have your greatest creation murder your surrogate son
>Have said magnum opus destroyed by the Nut of Goku of all people, further shaming you
>Have your wife converted to an android as well only for her to go berserk and eventually die as well

And keep in mind! With how Hell seems to work, as shown in RoF, the tortures there are tailor made to be the WORST THING for you.
So in all likelyhood Gero got to see ALL OF THAT clockwork orange style

Being Gero is suffering
I kinda want a Tragedy of Dr. Gero omake of his torment in Hell now...
Man, nothing like a little research to kill the feels train. Apparently Dr. Gero’s son Gebo (dafuq?), codename Gold, was a high-ranking elite soldier - basically Special Forces tier. He was ruthless and bold, and died taking an enemy bullet; Gero just programmed 16 to be a pacifist to minimize the risk of him being destroyed in combat because he didn’t want to lose him again.
Eh... the pacifist thing is still sweet in its own way
And I'm just gonna ignore the bullet part because the TFS version is better
Good riddance!
>Get famous off a series.
>Don't even finish it.
>Try to use your fanbase as a launch platform for your new garbage.
Don't they realize the promise of a new DBZA is the only thing that kept them in relevance?
Well... time for them to slowly fade away
Meh. If the Buu Arc drops down to the same quality as the rest of their stuff then nothing of value is lost. I still mostly love what we got, so whatevs.
Yeah. The Buu arc was kind of weird compared to how tight the Freeza saga was, and even the Cell Saga. It would have been a stretch for them to make it great without leaning too heavily on lampooning the ridiculous aspects of the plot.
"99 Luftballons
Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont-"
The big ogre opens a door and stops humming to himself.
"Guten Tag Doktor! How are ve doing?"

Doctor Gero sat in place, his body as it was at the time of his death, a simple brain floating in a jar.
The eyes with the nerves attached to them were a courtesy of the devils, they are gently affixed to the wall of the jar so they don't accidentally float away since Gero has no muscles to move them himself.
Though disembodied, he was also given a voice if only so he could hear his own torment.

"Why... Why are you doing this to me?"
He asks with his artificial speech cracking as he struggles to speak through his own anguish.
"What have I done to deserve this?!"

"You really have to ask zat doktor?
Oki, I can explain! You see, you did many bad fings doktor!
You willingly, nein... happily aided ze Red Ribbon Army. Do you know how many people suffered and died because of you?"
Geros voice module starts to whirr up, signaling his incoming screech but the ogre cuts him off.
"Not to mention all ze ozer stuff... tsk tsk.
Kidnapping ze orfanz, making even more killing machines-"


"You still don't get it doktor...
Revenge is good! Iz healzy! But you hurt all zose otherz!
Ze children you kidnapped off ze streetz, all zose innocents zat your precious Cell killed and ate!
And zat pink one? Whooh. Zat took a lot of work! In your quest for vengeance, you inflicted on countless otherz ze same pain you received."

Gero is at a loss for words.
Maybe the torture was getting to him, maybe he was finally loosing his mind, or simply he just got told the same thing he already knew but didn't want to admit.
And after all his time down there, after he lost all that hard edge he developed thanks to his grief...
He started crying without tears.

The modulator barely could recreate his cries he was bawling so much.

"You see doktor? Doesn't it feel better?
But sadly... we don't want your apology-"


"You must pay your debts doktor.
And mein freund! You accrued quite a bill!"
The ogre steps over to the projector and takes out the film that ran out.
He carefully raises the replacement and inspects it.
"Now let's see... what's on todays menu? Oooooh Wunderbar!
Son Goku saves ze multiverse from doom and then goes home to play with his granddaughter! One of mein favorites!"


As the ogre leaves and closes the door behind him, he resumes.
"Hielt man für Ufos aus dem All
Darum schickte ein General
'Ne Fliegerstaffel hinterher
Alarm zu geben, wenn's so wär
Dabei war'n dort am Horizont
Nur 99 Luftballons!"
Here's a little something because I'm in a good mood now!
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I thought Gero's body was still androidal in hell?
I mean... I went off of the assumption that he'd be like he was at death, minus the machines
Because that's how Frieza got brought back
Errrr... shit
I just looked it up, Frieza came back in pieces but with machines intact
Just assume this is some clever torture method from Hell or something
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Don't let me write at 4 AM ever again
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I'm just givin you shit, playa. We all know that this isn't REALLY dbz, but rather "Nega-som's take on the Dragonball setting if it was both good and expanded on the details they constantly mention but never show".
You're free to make any of the changes you feel are appropriate, my nigga. And this kind of torture does seem pretty appropriate.
I know but still don't fucking let me write at 4AM
I'm so tired you wouldn't believe it
Even after prepping for it by sleeping until noon and drinking two entire mugs of strong af coffee I'm STILL half dead.
It's more than my usual 3/4 dead but still
Herro everynyan!
I'm back from the dead to remind you that I'll be running tomorrow
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Whoo! Big Hype!
As you follow the young namekian inside his temple, you twiddle around with the thing he gave you.
It's a small piece of carved wood that's been treated with a layer of paint that gives it a nice sheen.
On it you see a symbol vaguely in the shape of an "N". Thinking it's pretty nice, you rip off a bit of your shirts sleeve and tear it apart to fashion a makeshift rope out of it.
After which, you hang the thing on your neck like a trophy.
Hit just stares at this in mild confusion.

Dende finally speaks up as he stops in an empty chamber.
"Come here so I can take you guys to King Yemma...
I hope I won't get chewed out like my predecessor."

"Why would you be?
Is it really that big a deal for you to go and talk to him?
I thought you guys are practically regulars in his realm."

"Yeah. And that's the problem.
Now grab on. I'd like to get this over with."

Hit takes the lead and you follow him, tapping the green boy on the shoulders as he performs some sort of a ritual and teleports the both of you to Otherworld.
At first glance the place doesn't seem to differ much from your own, it even has the same problem with millions of souls getting clogged up in the line as in your own.
Past the line and inside the big temple you see the boss of this place, who looks like a carbon copy of your own guy, except this one is red instead of blue.

He looks up from his mountain of paperwork and frowns at Dende when he notices your lack of halos.
"What is the meaning of this Guardian?! You bring LIVING SOULS to my realm now?!
Is it not enough for you Earthlings to make a joke out of Death itself?!"

"It is not my intention to offend you great King Yemma!
But these two souls wished to speak to you about a matter of utmost importance!"

"Hmmmmmm? Is that so?"
He looks over to you and slowly sizes you up.
"Hold on... who ARE you people?"
He starts flipping through his papers and starts looking real nervous when he fails to find anything on you.
"N-Nothing?! How could this be?! WHO ARE YOU? And what are you doing here?!"

>Ask him how to get into Hell
>Tell him who you are and that you're here on the authority of Beerus
>Say that you're after Towa and give him every detail you can spare
>Tell him who you are and that you're here on the authority of Beerus
>>Tell him who you are and that you're here on the authority of Beerus
>Tell him who you are and that you're here on the authority of Beerus
>Tell him who you are and that you're here on the authority of Beerus.
>Apologize for not having the proper paperwork, we didn’t mean to make his work more difficult than it is.
>Ask what he knows about Towa’s presumably illegal entry into Otherwolrd.
I'd LIKE to include your third write-in but the others seem pretty adamant about not wanting to divulge more about the situation than necessary
So I'll just take the second

>Tell him who you are and that you're here on the authority of Beerus
I would be okay with that
A'ight. Doing it then
You step forth and give a little bow to King Yemma. Hit doesn't give a shit. He doesn't even open his eyes to look at him.
"Great King Yemma! I am Eric Asulf and he's Hit.
We're here on Lord Beerus' authority to investigate a dangerous person.
And we also apologize for showing up without the proper paperwork. I can assure you we didn't mean to make your job more difficult than it has to be!"

The big man seems to get nervous the second you invoke the name of the destroyer but he's managing to keep his cool. For now.
"I didn't take it that way young man... But a dangerous person? Here?
That might be true, as we handle many ruffians but... all of them are safely sealed up in Hell or under the watchful eyes of the Kais!
I'm sure nothing's wrong and if the great Lord Beerus needs it I could give him a report of ANYONE!"

"You seem to misunderstand."
You assume your best detective impression and start channeling Columbo by rubbing your forehead.
"We have reasons to believe that maybe, not because of your negligence of course, some *ahem* illegal elements may have entered your realms.
Does that ring a bell?"

He stands up and slams his hands on his glorious mahogany desk.
"This is preposterous! Even if it were possible for people to enter the Otherworld it is UTTERLY IMPOSSIBLE for them to do so without my notice!
Such a thing can NOT happen!"

"Ah... but there is the thing.
We're here, are we not?"
The big red demon gulps nervously.
"And one more thing, I heard that at some point a living being DID in fact enter the afterlife without anyones permission or authority.
I believe his name was.... Argh! Help me out Hit!"

"Majin Buu?"

"Majin Buu! That's it!"
At this point the suit that the king of hell is wearing has been drenched by sweat.
"Not to worry! You couldn't have known! Even if it's true, it's not your fault! Nobody is trying to blame you or hold you accountable!
That's not why we're here!"

"Oh thank the Kais!"

"We just want to confirm our suspicions by investigating Hell. If we find nothing, well, all the better!
But if we do then we'll handle it for you and NOBODY will ever have to hear about this!
I think that solution would suit both of us, wouldn't it?"

"Y-Yes! That would be ideal.
Very well! While I usually don't do this, I'll allow you to enter and then leave Hell. BUT JUST THIS ONCE!
And I can't guarantee your safety! Do you understand?
The devils of hell won't be able to tell the difference between the damned and you!"

"Worry not.
I believe we can defend ourselves."

"That's not what I meant!
I don't want you to disturb them! They are just doing their jobs!
Important jobs at that!"

"Very well King Yemma."

He pulls open the drawer of his desk and points at it.
"Get in."
>He pulls open the drawer of his desk and points at it.
>"Get in."
...Universe 7 is weird
You look at his drawer and start questioning him.
"The hell is this?"

"It's Hell."

"You mean your desk leads straight to damnation?!"


"So when someone dies and comes here you just... stuff them in there?"

"Yeap. The rowdy ones at least. Those that comply get to go with the ferry.
I used to toss them out that door over there to Snake Way. When they fell through the clouds they landed straight down there, face first, in a crater.
Until HR told me I can't do that no more because it's "Inhumane"! And I said, they are sinners! That's the point! They gonna end up in Hell anyway where they get tortured! So what's the point?!
Still... they made me stuff them in instead."

And when we're finished?"

"You'll see a big tree guarded by several ogres.
That should be a good enough landmark, find it and you can climb back."

"And... that door is something any sinner could just use?"

Why do you think I got this mallet here?
You think I'm using it to pass judgment?! HAH!
Now... get in!"

Not wanting to get forcibly stuffed in there, you comply with the big guy and enter the weird, magical space leading straight to Hell.
The hallway leading to the bowels of Heck give you some rather familiar vibes, reminding you of the Makai but more orderly and clean.
Its exit is the mouth of a cave which opens up to the umbral plains. Looking up, you can see the yellow clouds obscuring every source of light, leaving the place with a crimson tint from all the flames and the lava.

A putrid, acrid smell hits your nose and makes you reflexively cover your nostrils.

It's not at lethal levels, so you shouldn't worry."

"Awww that helps a lot! Thanks!"

"Quit being a baby and let go.
The sooner you get used to it, the better."

It takes tremendous amounts of willpower from you to let go of your face but you do and try to bear the horrible smell.
"Okay... what now?"

"I'm.... not entirely sure.
Never been to Hell before.
I assume most of my experience won't be of much use here.
How about you? Any ideas?"

>Those Ogres by the tree. They might be able to help
>I'd say the "locals" are our best bet. If anyone then they surely noticed something
>Let's just head out and survey the area. Get our bearings first.
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>I'd say the "locals" are our best bet. If anyone then they surely noticed something
Oh boy.
>I'd say the "locals" are our best bet. If anyone then they surely noticed something
>I'd say the "locals" are our best bet. If anyone then they surely noticed something
Cursed doubles
Who do you think I am? Some hack named Som- oh wait
>Those Ogres by the tree. They might be able to help
Strength doubling fruit eh?
Don't mind If I do!

Perfect Cell breaks free and drinks Towa and Mira when their guard is down after rolling too many 20s to open up a jar of pickles without breaking their wrists. He now goes by the name Merfect Tell.
>"I know the Makai in our Universe connects to Otherworld there, so maybe we could investigate and see if there’s anything similar here? It would probably be the easiest way for a demonic energy signature to go unnoticed if it’s near to that gate or whatever..."
You and I both know Cell felt our girth the moment we came in.
When's the last time he actually had a proper fight?
>Those Ogres by the tree. They might be able to help

They are the overseers here.
>Cell meets Mira
"What, did mommy forget her homework and ask Gero to let her copy his?"
"Proper fight" would be against goku.
Gohan either got tossed around or just completely over powered him no inbetween. tbf though he was 11.
Yeah and Cell was like 3.
Forgot about those. Would be a reeeaaal shame if a couple were to vanish.
eh more like 6. but he was born with the mind of an adult.
>>Those Ogres by the tree. They might be able to help
He genetic makeup is 99% manchild and 1% Cicada. He's far from an adult.
That's 3/3 plus >>4082918
Well, we'll do the Ogres first
Seriously, how much of Frieza do you think is in there?
He has the facial markings, the personality, general indestructibility?
What were the ratios? My bet is majority Frieza.
Would explain why he's such a massive bitch
I remember there was a conversation in Xenoverse about that. I think he was less than 20% Frieza and he did say it must have been his fault that he lost.
What's his exact composition again?
Frieza, Goku, Gohan, Piccolo... who else?
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"Well I'd say our best bet to finding anything out of the ordinary here would be... the locals-"

"Couldn't you apply your previous experiences?"
Hit asks.

"Not the same thing.
Hell, this place is positively charming compared to the Makai.
Ignoring the obvious tortures that are going on. Hell, I don't think this place is anything like the Makai.
This seems to be the lawful evil to the demon realms chaotic evil."

"Hmmmm.... and we shouldn't rely on the "workers" according to the boss.
So that does only leave the universes worst as an option."

"Could be worse.
Hey, how about we go and check that tree out first though?
Y'know... tooooo uuuh... stock up before the journey?"

"Don't steal the hell fruit.
I don't care how much you want to experiment. Stealing is wrong."

"So is assassination..."

"Fine, we'll go and talk to the ogres."
Hit pockets his hands as you approach those red and blue UNITS mucking about under the tree.
They seem like your typical mythological ogres, complete with big spiky clubs.
As you get close enough the hitman spots something.
"Why does their shirt say HFIL?"

"It's probably HELL but got torn by one of the "rezidents".
Now be quiet and let me do the talking-"
You clear your throat.
"GENTLEMEN! What a fine day to be un-alive am I right?"

"Look Goz! We have new vizitors!"

"I see zat Mez. Very gut!"

Hit looks at you nervously.
"Why do they have a Namekian accent?"

"I think it's actually... german?"

"What in the Kais name is a german?"

"So fellas! What do you do here?
Big tree must be pretty important for two great devils like you to be stationed here!"

Hit grumbles something to you.
"Don't forget while we're here!"

"Oh zis? Zat is just one of King Yemmas sacred trees.
It bears the Ensenji fruit which he loves! Absolutely forbidden! Do not touch!"
The blue ogre reaches for his great club and you back down.

"Oooookay! No need to tell it twice!
Fruit is off limits! We don't want any trouble good sirs!"
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He says rather cheerfully as he moves his hands back to cross them so he can lean against the tree more comfortably.
"Saaaay.... you guyz look veird? Did anyone tell you zat?"

"Ja. Quite strange..."
The red one now glares at you and smacks his own head.
"Ah! Of courze! You got no halo!"

"Oh ja. Zat's it!
How did zat happen?"

"We're uuuuh... we're on vacation!"
You lie through your teeth.
"We wanted to come here on our own and King Yemma let us!"

"Hmmmm does not sound like our boss but... okay.
You still gotta participate in the events though!"

"Ja. Ze mandatory pool aerobic in ze blood pond is about to start in a few hours!
You don't wanna miss it unless you want our friends coming after you!
Wouldn't wanna get labeled as a "difficult one" ja?"

You nod.
"Of course!
But saaay.... haven't you guys seen something weird around here?
Maybe people like us? No halo?"

"Hmmmmm someting out of the ordinary?
Or more alive people? Nein. Does not ring a bell."

You snap as your plan is foiled.
But that was about what you expected, judging by their reaction to your lack of halos, so you quickly change the subject.
"Could you two gentlemen give some directions to us? We heard the Makai portal is lovely this time of the year!"

"Ze... wat?"

"We don't know what you're speaking of.
Portal? Wat? Where?"

Your eyes start twitching.
Well these guys are at least not outright hostile.
Still they are less useful than you'd like.

>Ask them about the rules of the place, since they seem keen on those
>Steal some of that fruit anyway
>Just leave
>Ask them about the rules of the place, since they seem keen on those
>>Steal some of that fruit anyway
Time stop, telekinesis, pocket dimension, easy as that.
>Steal some of that fruit anyway
Get that fukken froot.
>Steal some of that fruit anyway
Did we even eat before we came here?
>Ask them about the rules of the place, since they seem keen on those
>"Well that's a bust there was one in U6. Now where would a illegal migrant Deamon THOT would hide in hell?"
>>Ask them about the rules of the place, since they seem keen on those

Let's not steal the Forbidden Fruit with unknown effects on a mortal from another Universe, especially when we don't know the consequences of such an act, or if King Yenma or his higher-ups will know.

...if the vote to do so goes through anyways though, I am gonna vote to take it home with us and make the most epic God-Fruit Pie that has ever or will ever exist though. Just Saiyan.
>Ask them about the rules of the place, since they seem keen on those
I was gonna ask Vados before doing anything with it but your idea is better.
You came straight from the Halloween party
Granted, you haven't eaten since but with Erics cooking that's not really an issue
>DO NOT steal the fruit; remain Best Boy of Namek
We’ve already failed this trial before - let’s not fail it again.
Pffhand, I wonder if we could ask Beerus for permission to get a fruit or two, possibly by bribing him with a pie made of said fruit? Or maybe just drop his name to the ogres/Yenma and see where that gets us. I'dunno, I just don't want Eric to get in trouble for stealing it.
*Offhand, "Pfftt" is not what I was intending to start with.
>Ask them about the rules of the place, since they seem keen on those
>DO NOT steal the fruit
Seconding: >>4083119

Don’t want to put Dende in hot water. He did just give us a pass.
I'll wait a bit more with the verdict until I get home
Should be a bit less than 30 minutes
also gonna add - do not steal the fruit
Best Boy of Namek status: preserved!
A'ight! I'm home, time to tally the votes
Oh wow... 4 to 3. Talk about turnaround
Okay, guess you don't have to roll for the stealing

Then we shall proceed with out tour of Hekk
Prepare for some guests
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You snap your fingers in anger.
"Darn! So that's a bust. We had one back home...
Now where would an illegal immigrant demon THOT hide in hell?"

One of the ogres asks.

"N-no thank you. We'll manage to find our "friends" on our own then.
But before we do, any rules we ought to know? Y'know so we don't break them."

"Oh no need to worry freund!
If you can move about there isn't much to keep in mind.
Just remember to do as our friendly colleagues tell you and you'll be fine!"

"Move about? What do you mean by that?"

"Oh zat... there iz a distinction you see!
Two types of people exist here. Ones that get to move around and ones that don't.
If you were bad in life you end up here, ja? But not everyone ist made equal! Some who were really naughty get special treatment!"

"Basically we get to entertain those that don't need constant supervision.
We give everyone a personalized experience to match their deepest, darkest fears but what we can do is limited."

But those that get a room of their own?
Anything goes for them!"

"They are handled by the angels of Hell.
Und zey are powerful indeed!"

So what you're saying is that all we'll find are the weaklings and the REAL creme of the crop is sealed away."
The ogres nod.
"Could it be that our friends got into one of them?"

Ze angels are very thorough! Only a pure being with a good heart can enter without repercussions!"

So that narrows it down at least."

Hit looks at you and starts whispering at you.
"You think she's after one of those?"

That's the kind of shenanigans I'd expect from her.
However, if these schmucks are saying the truth then she might be banging her head into a wall here."

"Wats dat?"

Thank you for your help!
We'll be sure not to cause any trouble for you! And once we leave you'll never hear from us again!"

As you turn around to leave the ogres don't even bother to stop you.
Instead they burst out in laughter, mocking you for your seriousness about leaving.
If only they knew.
>Now where would an illegal immigrant demon THOT hide in hell?"

I know I made this add on but... I just love this sentence.
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After abandoning those two Schwarzenegger impersonators alone, Hit tries to assess the situation.
"So did you gather anything from that?"

"Eh... Only that now I get why nobody back home could tell us consistently what Hell was like.
Because each of their experiences were tailor made for them."

"And about the mission?"

"I'm as clueless as they are.
So I'd rather not waste any more time with them."

Let's ignore them in the future.
Maybe not all of them are this friendly."

But that leaves us with their "guests" as our only options."

"Not to worry.
These kinds of people usually will tell on each other."

You take a walk around the place and get to experience its... beauty, if you can call it that.
The place has everything from classics like literal blood ponds with a blood fountain, all boiling naturally, to more creative things like a massive pile of spiked balls, razor blades and spikes.
Not to mention all the torture gear scattered around and labeled "training machines".
And judging by how inconceivably MASSIVE the entire realm is, there must be a lot more you can't see.

But as you marvel at the various instruments of agony and try your best to stay out of sight, lest the devils catch you, a presence makes itself known to you.
At first you barely pick it up but as you hone your senses it becomes more clear to you.
It mutters and giggles to itself in a shrill voice but what it's saying eludes you.

"I know.
It's been following us for about two minutes now."

"Any idea what it is?"

"Yeah. Judging by its power... it's a Saibamen.
A small plantoid creature."

"A plantian? Does it have anything with the Tuffles?"

"Plantoid... meaning part plant. They sprout from seeds.
They were a common sight long ago but the SDF banned them and confined them to their home planet."


Though they aren't too intelligent they can be made obedient and taught surprisingly complex commands.
Despite their uniform but weak strength they were used as disposable troops."

"So if they were weak why ban them?"

"It's how they were used.
Since they offered fairly little on the battlefield they were mostly used as terror troops.
Sick them on the populace on massive numbers and watch the carnage. Now you can't even keep one as a pet and the SDF are very thorough when burning places to the ground where they show up."

"Anything I should know?"

"Just put up a thin layer of energy and you should be okay.
Despite their weakness they have 2 techniques that make them dangerous.
They naturally produce acid which they can shoot out with surprising speed... and they can detonate themselves to take out foes stronger than they are."

"What the fuck kind of animal has an attack that KILLS itself?!"

"Saibamen are pack hunters.
If one dies but saves the herd then it's a net gain.
Plus... the explosion helps to spread their seed."
>Saibamen are pack hunters
Oh fuck we're a raid boss.
So yamcha died covered in plant alien jizz?
Worse, he technically died getting fucked by a green midget.
At least that explains why they sometimes show up in games as nooks on Earth - especially since Earth soil in U7 is supposedly super rich in nutrients compared to your average Frieza Planet.
Would that surprise you?
Hell, would that make it worse even? He's hit rock bottom already
A rape dwarf if you might
So...a goblin?
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"However, I don't think they would use their suicide ability now.
I don't know what dying in the afterlife means but it must not be good for you."

"You say that like a mindless animal like that would care about that."

"Hmmm... true.
Stay on guard then.
Oh and one more thing. If I remember correctly Saibamen grow stronger depending on how rich the soil is in nutrient.
Normally they are pretty weak like this one trailing us but... I wouldn't like to figure out what one grown in Hell looks like."

"God don't put that image in my head-"

But as you say that, the owner of the power jumps out and makes its presence known.
You ready yourself for incoming weird animal plant hybrid action only to be disappointed.
"Heh? Is this one of them? He's less green than I thought."

It, or more accurately He speaks up.
And not just one but two! One, an Earthling and the other some weird weakling alien!
It's been so long! But finally I'll be free! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"He seems to recognize you-"
Hit looks at you with a slightly mocking grin.

"Shut up weird alien weakling..."

You look up at the guy.
Yeap, that's a saiyan alright. Easily the weakest one you've EVER seen.

>Well would you look at that? An interrogation target!
>Turn around and leave. He's not worth the effort
>Ignore him. He's no threat
>"Hey! Jackass! I seem to have lost my bitch! Blue, big boobs, amazing legs. Have you seen her?"
>Well would you look at that? An interrogation target!
>Well would you look at that? An interrogation target!
>Well would you look at that? An interrogation target!
>So what dumbass vegetable pun do you have for a name?
>>Well would you look at that? An interrogation target!
>>Give him the largest, happiest, most bloodthirsty smile you can make.
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>Give him the largest, happiest, most bloodthirsty smile you can make.
>"Dude you've got the power level of a Saibaman, you shouldn't be calling anyone weak." Nonplussed.
Oh yes, this works very well. Raditz should know just by looking that he dun goofed.
>>Well would you look at that? An interrogation target!
>Give him the largest, happiest, most bloodthirsty smile you can make.
>>Well would you look at that? An interrogation target!
Oh Raditz, you poor irrelevant idiot.
>Well would you look at that? An interrogation target!
He’s out and about, so... something is up. Besides, leave no stone unturned! Also:
>Bizarro rules apply, stay on our guard!
This guy is likely to be as cowardly and conniving as our Saiyans are brave and earnest! Plus, everything Towa touches goes screwy, so no underestimating anyone!
Remember that time Mr Satan was the strongest boss battle in xenoverse? that was fucking wierd.
>fucking brilliant
Oh boy.
Poor Raditz is going to get it harder than during his death day
Poor fella

Oh and... roll for psychopathic tendencies
Best of 5
DC: 8 Crit: 18
Rolled 14 (1d21)

Hope I don't fuck this up, I don't roll often...
Rolled 16 (1d21)

Wrong field apparently...
Rolled 9 (1d21)

Rolled 10 (1d21)

Rolled 16 (1d21)

Since we didn't pass the Crit, what would that have entailed? Y'know, after the next set of story posts.
Going full Doom Slayer probably.
You look him over and smirk.
"What vegetable pun do you think this one will have?
I'm betting... Potato."

"Betting? What do I get if I win?"

"I 'unno...
Got this gold coin-"


"Well that was fast-"

If you didn't realize it yet you are standing before a Saiyan Elite!
So now tremble before me and maybe I'll be gentle!"
You exchange a nonplussed look with Hit until you both actually break down laughing your asses off and struggling with your tears.
The Saiyans eyes are twitching from this and the vein on his forehead begins pulsating visibly.

You respond while clenching your stomach.
"I don't know if you realized this but you're threatening us with the power level of a Saibamen!
What DID you think was gonna happen?"

"T-THIS AGAIN?! Always with the Saibamen comparison!
WELL NO! I'm NOT taking that from an Earthling who has a powerlevel of fucking FIVE-"
He could've sworn he was looking straight at you this whole time and without blinking but all of a sudden he lost track of you.
As the saiyan searches for you he stumbles backward as he bumps into your arm.

"Five what big guy?"

"Grrrr... you dare mock me?"

"Me? Oh no nonononono...

He extends both his arms and fires a purple/pink energy beam straight in your face.
"I only need one of you anywa-"

But he's cut off as a hand reaches out from the smoke and grabs him by the arm.
He shuts up as you pull him in closer to examine him. His armor which at one point may have looked like a Saiyans has been cracked, shattered and broken in so many places you'd be hard pressed to even call it armor.
Why he even wears it is a mystery. Perhaps as a symbol of his formal status.
His black mane is easily the biggest and most impressive of all Saiyan hairdos and knowing a few things about Saiyan biology, you feel bad for his poor mother that had to birth him with that thing.

"Hey Mr Elite... what's your name?"


You reach into your pocket and fling the gold coin over to Hit, who snatches it out of the air with a satisfied smile.
Hey guys how do you think towa would react if we had actually said this in earshot of her? "Hey! Jackass! I seem to have lost my bitch! Blue, big boobs, amazing legs. Have you seen her?"
Loud "WHAT" in the distance before silence
What would her thoughts about it be? we did already see her naked iirc so we know what we're talking about
>"Hey! Jackass! I seem to have lost my bitch! Blue, big boobs, amazing legs. Have you seen her?"
>A loud "WHAT" in the distance before silence
"Never mind, I found her."
Not fully naked, just nude
But... no comment
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>Not fully naked, just nude
I mean you didn't see her sex organs.
She was covering herself like in one of those nude photographs and not like a porno mag
Baffled by your absolute state of non-fuck-giving the confidence of Raditz is finally starting to take a hit as the gears in his head start turning. Maybe... just maybe, your power level ISN'T five.
Seeing this, you give him the most genuinely happy and bloodthirsty smile you can muster you go in for the kill.
"Okay hotshot... I suggest you start talking now!
Before I put your saibamen ass in the ground where it belongs!"


"The second you start talking!"

"About what? You asked nothing!"

You're right."
Looking down at Hit, you nod at him before tossing the guy down for him to catch.
When you get down you see that though he meekly submitted to you he's still trying to passively resist you.
"Okay Mr Elite-"

I fought with the strongest members of our race! We hunted, fought and conquered entire systems together!"

"The squire following his lords around isn't a lord himself."
Hit speaks up and THAT manages to crush him finally.

"Okay, maybe I'm a mid-rate warrior! But I'm still impressive by Saiyan standards!"
You try and just barely manage to restrain your chuckles now.

"Fine. Let's just leave it at that.
So how about you start explaining the fuck was your plan-"

"Erm... well... I saw that you guys were not dead.
So that must mean there is an entrance somewhere, which means I could use it as an exit.
That's what I thought."

"Makes sense..."
Hit speaks up.
"What doesn't is why you're still this weak."

"Huh? What do you mean Hit?"

"Saiyans grow stronger every time they recover from injury.
So how come he's this weak in a place designed to torture him?"

"Ugh... don't even get me started!"
He raises his hand and you get a closer look at his body. Running underneath his armor you see some sort of bindings restraining him a great deal, not so much that he can't move but enough that he can't fight for sure.
"They make us unable to fight and if anyone ELSE tries to hurt us they get punished extra hard and-"
Raditz then collapses on the ground as he clenches his stomach.

You start fearing for the worst when you hear a deep, pained growl.
"It all makes sense now."

I didn't give the ogres enough credit."
Hit muses.
"Strip them of the only two things they care about. Fighting and food."

"But that's not the worst part!"
Raditz continues until a new, fourth voice can be heard coming from far away.


The weak saiyan then visibly cringes and starts shaking.
"Oh no! He found me!"

"What? Who did?"

He looks at you in desperation.
"Y-You want answers? A guide maybe?
I'll do anything! Just take me away from him! PLEASE!"

>Anything? Deal!
>Sit and wait
>Sit and wait

oh boy, we meeting bardock?
>Sit and wait
>>Anything? Deal!
Uh oh, sorry Goku Senior, we are kinda busy right now.
>Sit and wait
>>Sit and wait

Either he talks in a panic, daddy can make him talk, or Bardock's more likely to know something vaguely useful. This is mostly for personal entertainment though!
>Sit and wait
"I dunno... we’re looking for something VERY specific... wouldn’t really be much of a deal if you didn’t actually know anything about it, now would it?"
>DON'T wait yell out "HE'S OVER HERE"
>and then talk to his dad see if he know's anything
Bardock time
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"Okay. Let's leave-"

"Wait Hit."

"Why? That's a pretty good offer for nothing..."

"Don't you find it a little odd?
When I think about Hell I don't see family members together.
In fact I bet most people would never meet their loved ones down here meaning..."
You reach down and grab Raditz by the collar.
"This guy fears his pops more than any devil!"
Forming a cone with your mouth you shout.

"Huh? Whatthe-"
You see a figure emerging from beyond a hill and much like Raditz, his armor is in quite a sorry state.
Except in his case it barely even qualifies as existing anymore. Only a few pieces of scrap remain near his guts.
"Ah. Much appreciated strangers. This dumbass son of mine has a bad habit of running the fuck away from punishment, getting me and everyone else in trouble..."

This... guy. This fucking guy is looking like a carbon copy of Goku but with more battle scars. What the fuck is going on here?!
After shaking off that little bomb, you manage to speak up.

"Well you're welcome.
But if you wanted him to not turn out this way maybe you shouldn't have called him your dumbass son."

"Psh... what do you know?
I wasn't home when he was born and by the time I was he was hanging out with the wrong crowd.
Damn that spoiled prince... I've been trying to educate him for decades now and he still hasn't learned!
So anyway, thanks for apprehending him, you did a-
He pauses to look at you, as if he's seeing something he can't quite figure out.
"Oh wow. I thought you were a Saiyan. Guess not."

"Yeah. I get that a lot."

"DAD! He's an Earthling!
And that's not the important part. They are alive!"

No shit!
What are you guys doing here?"

"We're looking for someone."

"Well... hate to break it to you but... they are dead."

"Not much of a problem nowadays.
I died three times."

Hit joins in.

Well... since you caught Raditz, I guess I owe you one.
Name's Bardock and I've been here a few decades now and know a few people.
Who're ya looking for?"

"A demon.
Blue skin, white hair, likes the color red.
Seen her?"

"Oh you mean the witch!"

"The... what?"

"Story has it a witch set up shop somewhere.
Always thought it was just a rumor, got a lot of those around, but that description fits."

Where is she?"

"I don't fucking know."

>Well... Thanks anyway. Now we know she's here
>Know anyone that might know her location?
>Could you help us search then? Since you know the place better than us
>Could you help us search then? Since you know the place better than us
>Could you help us search then? Since you know the place better than us
>Well... Thanks anyway. Now we know she's here
>Hey, your looks are seriously freaking me out, do you happen to have another son?
>>Know anyone that might know her location?
>>Could you help us search then? Since you know the place better than us
>Know anyone that might know her location?
>Could you help us search then? Since you know the place better than us. While we're looking I'll tell you about a guy I know who looks a lot like you.
>So how's the wife doing?
We saw the destruction of planet Vegeta from scrolls in Conton, if that was canon.

Despite being a short one I took note of your write-ins and will make use of them later
You try your best to get over, or at least ignore the guys looks as you continue.
"You know, since you're such a veteran of this place then I bet you know this place pretty well.
Would you mind helping us find this supposed witch?"

"Sure. I don't see why not.
Especially since people been talking about her giving you some crazy power or a way out...
So naturally mister Shitter over here's been trying to look for her as well."

You leer at the little guy and he freezes up.
"I-I just want to get out of here! That's all!"

Anyway, thanks for the help Bardock.
Really appreciate it."

"Yeah yeah, let's just get this over with.
The devils don't like us missing the blood pool torture."
Aaaaaaaand that's about it for now
Didn't have much else planned and I'm getting tired.
I'll have work tomorrow so I better rest
After that however I'll have a week off. So I'll try to run a bit more
See you guys later

If you crit that Raditz would've got the message and realized you are much, MUCH stronger than him and would've become more supportive.
As it stands he thinks you might be about Vegeta level. Scary, but not too scary to not fuck with
>Scary, but not too scary to not fuck with
That opinion will change very quickly once the slaughter begins. Thanks for the run. I have a galaxy-brained scheme prepared for tomorrow you have no idea.
thanks for the run not-som
King Yemma doesn't want his demons to be slaughtered. These aren't the hate slaughter kill demons of our universe. these are just demons doing their job and might think we are one of the sinners cause we are literally in hell.
You must misunderstand me, the slaughter begins when we find Towa, these demons are pretty chill dudes who are really only doing there jobs as prison staff of the underworld.
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Yo have you caught up with Kengan?
Massive fucking spoilers, but he made it.
What's Towa's problem anyway?
According to the wiki?
"It is also revealed during The Masked Saiyan Saga that Towa's main reason for wanting to unite Demon Realm with the rest of the universe is create what she poetically refers to as a garden of evil full of rage and pain the very thought of which she describes as beautiful, demonstrating Towa is sadist at heart, a trait befitting her demonic nature and origins."

"However, despite her evil nature, Towa cares greatly for her elder brother Dabura and it is implied her focus on altering history involving Goku and the Z Fighters is mainly due to holding them responsible as Goku and Majin Vegeta's fight freed Innocent Buu resulting in Dabura's death."
So she's just...
a cunt then?
Good to know.
A cunt with a brother complex.
I have now. Only had 3 chapters to read
Holy shit. You have no idea how happy that made me. Kure medicine for the win!
And Raian is back!

Yeah that about sums it up.
But I'm trying to lean more on the brother part rather than the "resurrection of the demon world" because one is... rather dumb
I prefer someone having actual motivations over Evil for Evils sake
My favorite part is that while Heroes ignored the filler and assumes Dabura would just make his way back to the Demon Realm like most demons would, DBKakarot basically made the filler canon; her beloved brother embraced his punishment and found redemption in Heaven, complete with embarrassingly gushy outbursts about love and compassion like that time he saw Videl worrying about Gohan even though she was already dead. Her brother basically earned the Pure Maiden / Maiden’s Heart trait some games give the girls.
Yes. And I love that filler as well
Especially since Dabura was canonically stated to be a "kind hearted and gentle" ruler so it'd make sense for him to go to heaven, since anything he did under Babidis command can't be used against him

And here's the thing.
When you encountered Towa and she gave her speech about her brother, she wasn't lying.
Think about it:
>Some cunt time traveler from the future comes back and shits on everything
>Your brother dies due to said changes
>Instead of doing her job and correcting the change the Supreme Loli of Time leaves it be
>Because Zeno mandated it's better
>So now when SHE tries to go back and CORRECT it, shit gets fixed because it's not the "correct timeline"

You'd be SEETHING at that injustice
And resurrecting your brother wouldn't work either because... well he's in heaven. He's happy.
He doesn't want to come back!
I also kinda like the idea of a demon immune to the devilmite beam; his most negative emotion these days is probably his remorse for what he did under Babidi’s control.
Wait a minute isn’t babidi in hell too right now
W...would he be able to sense our Buu being down here?
Wait. Fuck. Bibidi AND babidi would be down here!
Yes and?
Neither of those retards had any ACTUAL control over Buu, just their ability to bribe him with sweets in Babidis case, or sealing him away like a Pokémon and dropping it off somewhere he wanted to destroy in Bibidis
Of course they didn’t. But I would never underestimate a several million years old Wizard with a specialty in mind-affecting magic.
Especially with a demon tech-sorceress fucking around down here who knows how to give people one hell of a powerup.
And also because if both of them are down here, if they were to wriggle out of their personal tortures, then their power combined could be worth worrying about.
I just wouldn’t underestimate them is all. They’re retards, but they probably know some tricky shit.
Eh... the best feat either of them could produce was mindcontrolling a Cell level entity, namely Dabura.
Anything beyond that is beyond their grasp
Hell, the only reason Majin Vegeta happened is because HE let it
Were it not for their ungodly luck those two would've died due to them frequently biting off more than they could chew
True, they have some nasty tricks, but so do you
I think the biggest part is that he’s unwilling to fight directly, usually. I mean, if your magic is strong enough to casually mind control 99.99% of the universe’s inhabitants, why would you bother fighting yourself unless you absolutely had to?
At any rate, I’m only worried about it on the off chance that they’re both together.
They might not even like each other from what I gather
Since Babidi is not Bibidis "son" but a dopplegänger Bibidi made with something similar to the Multiform technique
And when his creator died Babidi absorbed Bibidis power
So... his creator might actually hate the thieving little copies guts
Worst I could see is deeming him a miserable failure.
Probably followed by trying to merge with him to take all of Babidi’s power back into him. Which might actually fail since Babidi grew stronger, so...maybe Babidi would absorb his “father”?
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I think neither
Hell wouldn't let that fly
So probably their special room is both of them chained to opposite ends of a room where they have to bear each others presence forever
A dad cursing his failed son, while his progeny insults his weak father

And I just remembered something with all this hell talk that might ACTUALLY be worth worrying about
On an unrelated note, I finally caved in and purchased FighterZ due to Kefla being announced for it
Boy was that a bad idea
The old laptop I dusted off can NOT handle it
Looks like it's finally time for me to start building a PC
Quick question.
What movie villains has u7 fought? You know, niggies like turles or hirudegarn.
I... haven't given it much thought
To be frank, I wasn't planning on using any movie villains, aside canon ones like Broly
This needs to be suffixed with the following statement:
But this does not extend to concepts
>But this does not extend to concepts
I guessed as much since pressure point tail growing is canon.
That's fair, since the timeline of events could get pretty fucky wucky otherwise.
I figured since tails had an uncanny ability to just... grow back like lizard tails there has to be some way to facilitate that.
Especially in the case of U7 Saiyans that can straight up brute force physiological changes in their bodies

But the main problem with pretty much all the movies is that they either outright contradict canon (like all the Broly movies now) or they simply exist in impossible time, as in there is no timeslot where they fit in.
So movies are handled on a case by case basis and I only use ideas from them I find cool, like the Herans
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Hey Vegeta! It's Valentines day!
You know what that means!
Janemba would be a fun villain to fight, just for the portal fighting shenanigans.
Okay I'll concede that.
But only because Janemba is weird like that
Out of all filler villains he has the only possibility of showing up... because there is nothing stopping the accident that formed him in the movie to happen.
So while technically he doesn't exist that doesn't mean he can't
God this is cursed.
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The longer I stare at it the worse it gets
Every day we stray further from Zeno's light.
Okay you glorious faggots!
Tomorrow we'll continue
Hopefully it'll be a grand old time, unless >>4083787
anons plan comes to fruition. Whatever that may be
I am vomit
Also, holy shit
Since I can't play multiplayer in FighterZ (yet) I started playing the campaign and... man there are some straight savage lines there

>Goku talking with Krillin about Piccolo babysitting Pam
>Krillin starts saying how Piccolo is a better grandpa than Goku

>Yamcha talks with Piccolo
>Yamcha starts praying to Kami for assistance
>Piccolo then says "No wonder Bulma chose Vegeta"
Jesus fucking CHRIST Piccolo! I know you don't have a dick but that doesn't mean you have to compensate by BEING ONE!
I still wanna picku up FighterZ, but the Soul Calibur series' the only fighting game I've ever really been any good at for some reason, even though I like them.

Plus I still have my Hugeass Multisystem Backlog to get through, and that's never going away unless I somehow become rich enough to quit my job and live off interest or something.
FighterZ is baby's first hyper-fighter. If you want to get into them, this is the game you want to do it with.
Oh btw Nega, if you're gonna play online you better have a wired connection.
Nothing's worse than dropping connection in a game that already has kinda shit netcode.
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Literally every input is the Hadoken motion
Every. Single. One.
And to think that at one point Dragon Ball fighting games had shit like a fucking PENTAGRAM for an input, that's a giant leap in the opposite direction
And I'm shit at Street Fighter, so the Hadoken motion is not one I have memorized in the slightest. Like, I have to google it.

But the backlog is the bigger concern. I need to get through a lot of the shit I already have before I should think of getting more.
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The older saiyan turns around and starts leading you through the plains of Hell with surprising familiarity.
"You seem very sure about where we should be going...
I thought you don't know where the "witch" is."
Hit observes.

"I don't.
But that doesn't mean I don't have a good idea.
If I was some nutjob hiding down here, I know where I'd want to be.
Somewhere the locals can't bother me. And I know of a few places bad enough that not even the devils would go there."

He proceeds to lead you through an arduous mountain range, after which you are greeted by an uncanny sight.
Large blobs of viscous fluid seemingly suspended in the air and formed into abstract shapes. It seems that as you go deeper and deeper into the bowels of the nether realm things get more and more surreal.
Since none of you are quite comfortable with the situation all of you feel rather awkward and so Bardock takes up the role of the tourguide.
"These are quite nasty little things. The devils put you in one of them and just leave you for a couple weeks if you're not behaving.
They steak your strength, meaning you can't escape. And once inside the stuff fills your lungs, making you feel like you're suffocating.
But no matter how much it hurts or how hard you try to escape, you won't die nor will you get out until they literally fish you out."

"Personal experience?"

"Nope. Just saw some poor schmucks get thrown in."

Grim. But since he started a conversation and doesn't look like he's about to continue, you take your chance.
"Hey Bardock-"


"Don't take this the wrong way but your looks are seriously freaking me out.
I happen to know a guy that looks a hell of a lot like you. Do you happen to know Goku?"

"What's a Goku?"

As Bardock continues being oblivious an answer to your question comes from an... odd source.
That's what that failure Kakarot kept calling himself!"

"RADITZ! Didn't I tell you to shut- hold on..."
Bardock turns to you.
"You guys know my son Kakarot?"

"Erm yes. But we call him Goku.
So you're his dad? Holy shit... Small world."

Raditz starts charging up a sphere of energy in his hands.
"You... Do you have any idea what that fool did?! HE'S THE ONE THAT KILLED ME!"

"After you picked a fight with him..."
Bardock stands in front of his son.
"As far as I'm concerned that makes you the failure."

"Y-You don't understand father!
He wasn't alone, he-"

"And that's an excuse?
You picked a fight and lost. Get over it already."

>Tell Bardock more about his descendants
>"Raditz... how are you this weak? You're Gokus brother aren't you?!"
>"Raditz... how are you this weak? You're Gokus brother aren't you?!"
>>"Raditz... how are you this weak? You're Gokus brother aren't you?!"
>Tell Bardock more about his descendants
>"Raditz... how are you this weak? You're Gokus brother aren't you?!"

Though Eric doesn't know Goku personally, he did see him wreck face for a brief while in the second Tournament of Destroyers. I'm sure Hit would also personally attest to Goku's strength.

It stands to reason that Raditz might also have been pretty damn strong if he put his mind to it, given how he has about half of Bardock's genes.
I mean technically he was.
Though he called himself an Elite, he was no more than a mid-class. Still Bardock was only low class
Despite that he had a power level of 1500, while Frieza claimed 2000 was "impressive" and he had Cheelai and Lemo scour the place for people above 1000
I still don’t really get the Saiyan class system in u7. I kinda just assume you’re born into whatever your parents' class is if your starting power level doesn’t contradict it and just sort of... drift to whatever matches the power level you end up with later in life. I
I mean... me neither
Vegeta directly contradicts himself, because he's implying that if you're born better you'll remain better forever.
While he KNOWS the Zenkai is a thing

You look at the guy with the impressive mane and size him up as he's arguing with his father.
The thing just doesn't add up. It's far less egregious with Bardock because... well he only supplied about half of the components for the boys.
But Raditz is made up of the same stuff as Goku. Goku! The guy with godly ki, the guy VEGETA is salty about.

"Would you two cut it out?"
Hit asks the two to stop bickering but you have other ideas.

"Hey Raditz...
I know what a sore topic this is but why are you this weak?"


"I'm asking why you're weaker than your supposed "little" brother."

"Okay! For the last time!

"Erm... when was the last time you've seen him?"

"Listen here! Even if that little traitor got resurrected by their wishing balls!
There is NO WAY that pipsqueak or anyone on his pitiful planet could stand up to Vegeta!
Plain and simple!"

"I don't know how to tell you this but Go- Kakarot is still very much alive.
And I may not know him very well and only seen him fight once, Hit here can attest to it.
He's one of the most formidable fighters in the universe right now."

He's easily the most talented fighter I've ever met.
I even tried killing him once and failed. A feat nobody else could reproduce since."

Hear that Raditz?!
Looks like your predictions failed! Kakarot is still alive and well!"


"You seem oddly happy.
Why do you favor Kakrot so much over Raditz here?"

"I don't.
I'm just glad my little runt made it!"
Bardocks mouth seems to curl into a warm little smile.
"Back when he was in the pod he was just a low class baby. The lowest of the low in fact.
When planet Vegeta was still around I decided to send him off to some remote planet on the far edge of the galaxy.
It was the least I could do to him. And now I'm happy he didn't waste his chance!"

This seems to have earned the ire of his other son.
"Of course you did! But you never did such a thing to me!"

"I didn't because I was out on a mission!
By the time I came back you started hanging out with prince Vegeta!"
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"But to answer your question I guess the answer is simple.
Kakarot never had much, so he had to work to earn his place. While Raditz here was gifted from the day he was born so he never had to work for anything his entire life.
And when the time came when he had to apply himself, he failed."
Bardock then turns away and starts looking off in the distance.
"We're not far off now. Let's get moving people!"

You start jogging after the Saiyans and as you do you continue to press him for information.
"And how about their mother? Is she not here?"
You motion at Raditz.



"Isn't it obvious?!"
Raditz shouts at you.
"God you Earthlings are so stupid! Hell is meant to punish us! That's why I'm stuck with my low-class, shitty old man! And why mother is not here!"

"You're thick Raditz. That's not what I meant.
Do you seriously think Gine would belong in the same place as us?
Then you didn't know her at all..."

Then where could she be?"
Is he for real? Does he think everyone ends up in hell?
"Every OTHER Saiyan is here!"

"Oh really?
Did you see any of the guys who were not warriors? Or the women who never hurt a fly in their life?"

Raditz seems really lost in thought.
"W-Well now that you mention it-"

"The answer is no.
Because you spent your entire life following Vegeta and his cronies.
We belong here, just like they do. But not the innocents. I bet they are in a better place now... or at least I hope."
Bardocks expression becomes much more sullen.

Even Raditz seems taken back by this information, like it's some great revelation ot him.
He reaches for his chest reflexively as he's gripped by sorrow.

>There is a better place. I don't know if she's in there though
>Don't say a thing. Knowing that won't help them at all. In fact, it might just end up hurting them
>"Bardock. You keep saying how you belong here... Come to think of it, you're very helpful for someone sent to Hell... How comes?"
>There is a better place. I don't know if she's in there though
>"Bardock. You keep saying how you belong here... Come to think of it, you're very helpful for someone sent to Hell... How comes?"
>>"Bardock. You keep saying how you belong here... Come to think of it, you're very helpful for someone sent to Hell... How comes?"
>>"Bardock. You keep saying how you belong here... Come to think of it, you're very helpful for someone sent to Hell... How comes?"
>There is a better place. I don't know if she's in there though
>The place is nice if a bit slow going. Then again... Sayans are bit more energetic than humans so there likely is a difrence between the heven of humans and your species.
"I uh... yes. She's in a better place."
The two Saiyans look at you in mild confusion.
"I was there. It's nice and slow going. Then again, you guys differ from us a great deal so it might be different for her."

"Hmmmm. Thanks."

"But... I don't really get it.
You keep talking like you belong here. While also going out of your way to help us.
You don't really look like someone deserving of Hell. How come?"

"Don't make assumptions kid.
You don't know me and never will. So let's just say that I did enough to be certain about where I'd end up and leave it at that."

"Got anything to add to that Raditz?"

"Don't look at me!
I don't get what he's going on about either!
I mean for a low class warrior he certainly did enough to earn the respect of his peers."


"He conquered plenty of planets.
And from what I heard he even cleansed them very well!"

Shut up!"

Hmmmmm. Interesting. A self conscious Saiyan? Rare as a white raven for sure.
And you have a pretty good idea as to what helped shaping his worldview. While Bardock doesn't seem to think much of himself, he certainly does about his better half.
Well... at least the genocidal marauder started regretting his actions thanks to his innocent waifu. Hell, even Raditz who probably wasn't any better, except he still doesn't see what he did wrong, seems to grieve his mommy.
It's somewhat endearing?

You continue on your journey with the mood of the Saiyans sufficiently soured by your incessant prodding.
They keep leading you but none of your further attempts had any result, as the Saiyans pretty much had enough of you.
Hopefully once you turn your back to them Bardock won't start literally beating the shit out of his son to went his frustration.

"Alright. We're here."
He speaks up.
"Beyond this point is the Death Wastes.
From what I understand it's some sort of practical joke. You can run away from the devils here and they won't even chase after you.
But only two things can happen. You either come back willingly or you die out there.
If I wanted to hide somewhere down here, I'd do it there. Because there is no surveillance."

"What happens if you die a second time?"

"I 'unno."
He shrugs.
"But that's as far as I'm taking you.
Not gonna risk the wastes or whatever you're searching for."

>Thanks. Take care
>Okay. Once we're done we'll come back and say hello
>Tell you what. You come with us and I'll pay you handsomely
>>Thanks. Take care
got any message for Goku?
>Thanks. Take care
>>Okay. Once we're done we'll come back and say hello
>Thanks. Take care
>For all it's worth both of your company was not unbearable.
>Thanks. Take care
So... they'll be left behind
A quick rundown on Raditz and why he is actually impressive:
>Born weak, like Goku
>Only a few years older than Goku
>Much of his life was spent traveling, asleep, in an attack pod
>Had no access to mystical water, martial artist masters to teach him, or hyperbolic time chambers
>Still eclipsed Goku in strength by the time of his arrival
Raditz went through hell and back, and the only means of support he had were a bald asshole and a smug midget who likely used him as a punching bag.
Him being so powerful with so few resources available means Raditz has some DEFINITE potential.
Yeah. Too bad y'all didn't vote to come back and say hello to them once you were done
Cause both of them are gonna be stuck down there
"Kay. Thanks for the assist, we appreciate it.
And the journey wasn't wholly horrible. So... I hope you guys will take care of yourselves."

Whatever Earthling! Just go and take care of your business!"

"You're welcome.
Now Raditz, stop sulking and come. We gotta get back before the devils notice we left."


"Give up.
The sooner you accept your place the better."

"Erm... Before you go, want to send a message to Kakarot?
Now's likely your only chance to do so."

Raditz looks like he has one of those moments of sudden genius hitting him.
"YES! Tell him his brother is sorry and he'd like to return to him to... mend family relations!"

You point at him.
Because you aren't.
But if you ever get to the point just hit me up. Name's Eric by the way.
How about you Bardock?"

Kakarot's fine on his own.
He doesn't need me intruding on his life."

You turn to your partner.
"Well Hit, shall we?"


The two of you slide down a hill and at the bottom cross the precipice of the Death Waste.
As soon as you enter you feel a horrid wind buffeting your skin with the sand particles feeling like sandpaper on your skin.
After wandering for a while even Hits patience is starting to wear thin, so he asks the obvious.
"Do you sense anything? Or are we just wasting our times here?"

"No. I definitely sense something."

"You sure?"

"Definitely! I can SMELL the demonic scum!"

I suppose it wasn't completely pointless to ask for directions then."

"But that's strange..."


"Doesn't it strike you as odd?
Raditz specifically mentioned the witch giving power and offering freedom to others...
That sounds like she's building an army. Doesn't it?"

"Yes. And?"

"Well does this place strike you as a suitable place for that?
Why do it at the ass end of the Hell, in a place where half of your potential recruits would... die?"

"I'm not much for logistics.
Perhaps to separate the wheat from the chaff?"

"The what from the what?
Did you forget already? The cream of the crop is sealed away in private chambers.
Only the scrubs are allowed to roam freely because those can be reined in by the ogres."

"Hmmmm... maybe there is something to it.
But it's not like it matters to us. Whatever she's planning won't matter once we take care of her.
So let's just focus for the time being."
You push on through the mounting dust storm as well as the scorching heat sapping your strength.
But given both of your proficiencies in handling extreme environments it's actually little more than a mild nuisance.
After what felt like half an hour you crossed the desert at max speed and arrive at the end of it.
Scattered before you are a great many stone spires forming jagged peaks, each one a great middle finger for any aspiring member of the damned who brave the endless wastes.
The only thing that's missing to complete the image is a can of peaches... without a can opener.

"Do you feel that?
Two powerlevels."

"Oh yes, it's them.
Towa and that Mira."

"Which one is which?"

"The big one is Mira.
We are after the other."

I often just slip past the guards to get to my target.
Somehow I doubt it'll be that easy now."

You nod.
"Especially since that Mira is an artificial being, with data on our time abilities."

"So he can detect us during time-skip?"

"I'm willing to wager he might even be able to enter stopped time as well."

"Quite problematic.
How do you want to handle it?"

I thought you're the expert here!"

"I am. But you met them before. You have the intel.
I prefer the frontal approach, calmly walking up to the target to show there is nothing they can do to stop me."

"Psychological warfare. Smart."

But we might have to adapt that-"

>Let's sneak up on them first. Get a read on the situation
>Your method will do. Up front and personal
>Circle around and hit them from behind. That's the most assured way
Towa seems to be pretty savvy. She probably has her recruits kept in stasis in some sort of pocket dimension or in compact pods so she doesn’t have to worry about food or living quarters.
>>Let's sneak up on them first. Get a read on the situation
>Let's sneak up on them first. Get a read on the situation

Towa hasn’t survived the time patrol and other enemies by being stupid. She likely has a lot of surveillance methods around and possibly lots of informants. It’s way too sloppy for her to just be waiting out in the open here, even if it is the ass end of the ass end of the worst afterlife where nobody would dare look because it’s such a horrible place to live.
>Let's sneak up on them first. Get a read on the situation
>Let's sneak up on them first. Get a read on the situation
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Good choice
Time to roll the dice!
Best of 4
DC: 12 Crit: 16
Rolled 6 (1d21)

Rolled 9 (1d21)

Rolled 21 (1d21)

Rolled 4 (1d21)

Has Hit managed to reign his ki in completely like Eric does?
That beautiful ass headed bastard
Looks like Eric’s spider senses tingled just in time. Hopefully we can spot or avoid the obvious trap they have here.
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Holy shit
Looks like we walked in on her while when she just came out of the shower again wonder if she thinks we're doing it on purpose
Well. I supose that has become the pattern. Eric just stumbles upon her when she has even less clothes on than usual.
We aren't talking about another shower scene
This image is just the most appropriate thing I have
What you'll get will be a bit different this time
so on a scale of canon Piccolo to Abridged Yamcha how hard would Mira freak out to learn Hit and us are hunting her in hell.
Fuck not mira... towa
"Best to keep low for now and get a read on the situation first.
Towa is a crafty bitch. Even at the ass end of the multiverse, you can bet she'd litter the place with traps.
She avoided both the gods and the time patrol up until now. So we can't underestimate her."

Then stealth it is.
Lower your energy as much as possible and I'll do the same."

"Stealing my tricks again Hit?"

"It's only fair."
He smiles.
"But I'm not as good as you. I can't fight like this.
Now let's-"
You extend your hand to the side and stop him.

Pointing down you bring to his attention the little thing he almost stepped on.
A small, sparkling speck that one might confuse for glass or a shiny pebble half buried in the sand.
But no, this one is an alarm at best or a mine at worst.

Hit is taken aback by his own carelessness and almost starts "Ooooo"-ing before you raise your hand to your mouth and hush him.
The two of you then tip-toe around the place, making sure to side-step any potential traps as you make your way closer to the she-bitches lair.
But to your surprise, her actual position is nowhere nearly as well defended as the surrounding area.

Laying in the middle of an open field surrounded by the stony growths is quite a lavish tent made of purple silk and decorated by golden threads.
With its circular shape and open rooftop the hut seemed like the home of a nomad but with a few extra oddities.
Pointing at its top you start whispering to Hit.


And that's a portal at the mouth of the hole... teleporting the fumes away.

"I don't see Mira anywhere... or sense anyone.
He's probably inside-"

But as you keep going on something rings in your ear. A shout, barely legible and fading as quickly as it arrived.
You start wondering what this is about.
"Sounds like someone screaming during an argument."

"I assume you also don't hear anything..."


"Then allow me-"
Reaching into his pocket Hit retrieves one of his gizmos.
"Spy drone. I'll navigate it, you spot for anything that might find it."
The small disk shaped thing is barely larger than a bug and twice as silent, clearly designed to be used by someone performing espionage.
It deftly courses through the air as Hit controls it and you point out traps or surveillance systems that could catch it.
Once it reaches the hut however it has to stop as the folds serving as a door are closed.
However the incoming audio should be more than enough for now. The drone begins to record the conversation going on inside and begins transmitting it to the earpiece Hit gave you.

"Transmute the sand into a beaker, add water from the other world to the senzu extract and mix it with the jelly of a martian...
Finally! This should do it!"

"Towa I'm telling you, there is nothing there.
These continuous experiments are for nothing."

"And I told you to SHUT UP Mira!
I can feel it! By the dark god it still hurts!"

"I'm just trying to help.
I'm worried for your well being."

"Well... MAYBE you should worry more about YOUR wellbeing!
Because I don't think I need to remind you what happened to the LAST Mira, do I?!"

"He rebelled and tried to kill you."

"YES! So I replaced him with you!
Now if you don't want the same to happen to you I suggest you stop annoying me!
Damn it! And replacing the need for more power with a need to protect me seemed like such a good idea back then!"

The assassin cuts the feed and turns off the machine.
"Well that's good news. Seems like they are occupied and not aware of our presence.
Plus, they appear to be alone. A prime opportunity to strike."

"Yeah but... what was that they were talking about?"

"They are arguing.
That's all that matters.
We should seize this moment and make a move.
I've been working on a move that could resolve this one easily. A combination attack that requires nothing more than a little distraction.
If we pull it off we can secure our target without a hitch."

>Okay. Let's try your plan, if you think it'll work
>Very well. But let me talk to them first, okay? I'll give you a signal when I'm ready
>Why bother? Let's just rush them and snatch Towa in the chaos
>Okay. Let's try your plan, if you think it'll work

Sounds like Towa is weakened by something from her losing her cool and talking about pain.

We do know about senzu beans right and what they do?

and this Miras first action will be to defend Towa from an attack if what she said about "prioritising protecting towa over power" means anything
>Okay. Let's try your plan, if you think it'll work
Going for a 5 star ghost run.
>Okay. Let's try your plan, if you think it'll work


I wonder, is there some way we might be able to exploit this new Mira's over-protectiveness of Towa to our advantage? He's going to be the main threat here aside from any traps that Towa might have cooked up. And while we don't need to neutralize him, we are going to need to deal with him sooner or later even if we manage to tag Towa in one go.
>Okay. Let's try your plan, if you think it'll work
>What about...fusion? We should have ample opportunity to do it the right way since they don’t know we’re here yet.
>>Very well. But let me talk to them first, okay? I'll give you a signal when I'm ready
Fusion is risky. a bad roll screws this entire arc over for us. And we lose any stealth we had since you need to raise your power levels and make them even before doing it
Our power levels are already even right now.
And one bad roll means waiting 30 minutes to try again.
30 minutes is a long ass time
I thought fusion requires MAX power, not just equal power.
But whatever, sadly the vote didn't win

Time to see if you can one and done this fugging thing
Roll the dice!

Best of 4
DC: 17 Crit: 20
Rolled 1 (1d21)

Bro how does the QM not know how fusion works
A negligible amount of time when your enemy doesn't know you're there at all.
Rolled 14 (1d21)

Well pressures certainly on now.
Rolled 10 (1d21)

Rolled 21 (1d21)

Let's kill da hoe, BEEEEEETCH!
I know you need equal power and how the dance has to be perfect.
But I was just watching where Goku taught Goten and Trunks and he specifically said: Max power
Like that was the first thing he said
Rolled 7 (1d21)

Good shit. saved us from a crit fail
I dunno, that might be because Goten and Trunks are so similar in almost every regard. Their powerlevel is already incredibly close, so they may as well do it at their maximum for the strongest resulting fusion.
Unlike Eric, neither of them dumbass kids would be able to fight effectively with restrained ki, so maybe that plays into it.
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Best assassin and bestdroid 21 have blessed us this day.