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/qst/ - Quests

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You are a 4chan anon isekai'd into another world apparently filled with random weirdness, crazy fairies, and at least one brown-skinned demon loli.
What will you make of it?
Previously On What The Fuck Quest:

>Update schedule:
At least one largish update a day.
Monday through Friday I try to post by 530 UTC

I post additional updates when I can, often on the weekend.

I will answer any questions I can as soon as I can. However, my ability to phone post is occasionally and sporadically limited throughout the day.
>The Quest Rules: Calvinball Edition
>Rule 0: The rules will probably change. You might be informed of the changes.
>Rule 1: This will be a highly narrative quest and therefore stats, abilities, modifiers, and dice rolls will be extremely important. Unfortunately, we don't know what all of them are yet.
>Rule 2: Currently suspended in Jello (lime-flavored)
In order to break the ice, after the first vote of the thread, only "write-in" votes will be accepted by voters with 1 post. This made complete scents but was found odiferous.
>Rule 3: There are at least four rules and I will not stop this nonsense until we have achieved our goal. We should probably look further into developing some sort of goal.
>Rule 4: Many challenges will be settled by opposed rolls where I roll a set of d100 and the players must roll higher on a matching set to succeed or have the enemy fail and I must then somehow justify the results. Modifiers and variations can occur and likely be made up on the spot.
>Rule 5: How the loli/brown loli meter works: As you acquire "Loli Biscuits", you slide the meter in either direction. When the gauge is all the way to the left or right, Gary becomes said Loli. No method of acquiring Loli Biscuits has appeared in the quest. I suspect that Victoria may have eaten them all.
>Rule 6: All tied votes will be recalculated with the votes that include reasoning being given additional weight (perhaps 20%, so that five reasoned votes would outweigh 6 unreasoned.)
>Rule 7: This quest is from the fixed perspective of Gary. If he is incapacitated for any length of time, there will a Time Skip forward until such time that he may interact.

Any questions? Excellent. Let's go!
>They'll never expect it!

Upon arriving in the first real city you've seen in this strange magical world, you spotted a group of five strange men. A stack of long, heavy iron bars were being effortlessly carried by three workmen in leather, unchained manacles, and faces covered in sackcloth were being led by an older, dapper goblin in silver manacles and trailed by a tall figure in plain robes and what looked exactly like a black motorcycle helmet.

Despite Ileska’s initial hesitation to get involved in what wasn't your business, your friend decided to join you in following them to a metalsmith shop. To spy inside you could have used Ileska's expertise as a skilled witch, Sven's abilities as a spirit to leave his skeletal scarecrow body, or even just Ohm's enhanced senses as a child-sized eyeless golem and whatever abilities Victoria might have as powerful demon condensed into the form of a brown-skinned little girl.

Instead, you decide to walk in pretending to be looking for a metalsmith since technically, you are looking for a gunsmith.
The place is a dusty, cluttered mess and any sign of the metalsmith supposed to be operating the shop is nowhere to be seen.

You see several other people in threadbare, patched clothes working in various ways. It mostly looks like they're assembling large wooden carts.

Since they look so tired and don't even look up when you enter, you start to wonder if this place isn't being used as a sweatshop in addition to a storage area for supplies and general crap.
Looking around, you see the stack of iron bars, but not the five men.

"What do you want?" a gruff man in leather armor asks as he walks in from another, smaller room in the back, closing the door behind him. He's wearing a thick leather belt around his waist with a sheathed longsword hanging from it.

You assume he's some kind of guard despite the fact that he looks a little disheveled.
"I'm here looking for a metalsmith," You say sincerely. "Is the shop owner available?"

"It's no good." The man replies. "Owner's fully booked with a big order."
"Is that what they're all working on?" You ask doubtfully.

"Because that doesn't look like metalwork." You add.
"That's none of your business. Now go find the street."

Not sure what angle to try, you start to turn around to leave until you hear a woman cry out in pain from the room beyond the door. Turning back, you try to charge past the guard but he holds you back with a firm, outstretched arm.

"You can't-Oof!" He says as Victoria calmly walks up and pushes him out of the way. He doubles over, gripping where she pushed his gut.

Opening the door, you are surprised to see an empty room with a simply dressed young woman lying on a bare wooden table with several fresh, bleeding wounds on her arms and neck. She looks up at you and whimpers "Please...no. I've changed my mind..." before falling unconscious.

What the fuck?


"What happened to this girl?" Ileska turns and demands from the recovering guard before rushing to examine the wounds.
You want to help or to turn and question him too, but instead, you find yourself looking around the empty room with this feeling that you're forgetting something as you absentmindedly scratch at your left wrist under the bracer.

"Gary," Ileska whispers. "These look like bite marks."

Suddenly, the front door opens and the short, green man from earlier steps through to the back of the shop, joining you all. His face is wrinkled with age, but he has sharp eyes and a stern demeanor.

He's holding an expensive-looking smoking pipe against the finely cut black leather vest on his chest.
"It appears we have visitors." He says coldly, staring at you all as he gently taps his small, green left hand with the pipe in his right.

Addressing the guard for a moment, he comments "'Control the servents' and 'Guard the shop'. Is the challenge of two tasks honestly too much for you?"
Rubbing his belly through his leather armor, the guard points at Victoria and says "No-I was, but, ...she pushed me!"

The green fellow raises a neatly trimmed grey eyebrow at the guard and looks at Victoria who thrusts out her tiny chest proudly with a beaming smile.
"Yes. Terrifying." The guard wilts, turning beet red.

The man turns back toward your group and walks forward slowly as he speaks. "I am Captain Mevlov and I am currently in charge of this establishment.

"What business do you have here and what are you doing in this backroom? It is of little use trying to deceive me.

"I know that you followed us from the square and I circled around the shop to catch you spying. It never occurred to me that you would be foolishly brazen enough to barge right in."

"Ah," Ohm says calmly. "It seems he is sincerely unfamiliar with you, Gary."
Mevlov glances at Ohm and then does a subtle double-take, truly studying the slight, pale white golem mostly covered by mended clothes and cap.

>Choose one. (I expect it's a given that you'll want to ask follow-up questions about the bleeding girl.)
>Attack!: "Gary smash puny greenskin!"
>Deceive!: Lie like a rug.
>Confess!: Admit you thought they were suspicious and followed them.
>Accuse!: Ignore his questions and demand to know what they are up to here.
>Magic!: [Write-In]
>"Sincerely I thought you wanted something with me because of the way you were looking at me. Anyway, what the hell were you doing with this woman ?"
Sorry, I was waiting to see if there were any more votes and lied down because I had a gut ache and a headache. I just woke up many hours later with a worse headache.
C'est la vie!

Closing the vote and writing.
>>"Sincerely I thought you wanted something with me because of the way you were looking at me. Anyway, what the hell were you doing with this woman ?"
>I was looking back to see if you were looking back at me to see me looking back at you

"I sincerely thought you wanted something with me because of the way you were looking at me." You admit, recalling the way he had briefly locked eyes with you in the square.
He seems to quietly assess you for a moment before speaking.

"Yes, I recall thinking something similar when I saw you until I presumed you and your ridiculous simulacrum here, " He says, nodding at Sven. "Were just gaping at the 'nasty goblin' leading slave workers.

"I still get that response from time to time."
He pockets his pipe and fusses with straightening the polished silver manacles clasped over the cuffs of his pressed sleeves.

"Anyway, what the hell were you doing with this woman?" You demand.
"Ah, yes. Her. Miss? I do wish you'd stop fretting over her." He says to Ileska as she continues to dab at the girl's wounds.

"She's still bleeding! Gary's right. What did you do to her?" Ileska also demands.
Wrinkling his nose slightly in disgust, Mevlov replies "I didn't do anything. She is one of the indentured, not properly owned..."

The way he says "owned" sounds to you like a measure of pride and superiority as if she's not worthy enough to be "owned".
"As one of the indentured, like the others, she must perform the tasks she is set to. She really has no choice."

He indicates "the others" by holding his arm out towards the workers outside the room, the gesture also encouraging you to step away. Seeing none of your group moving, he lowers his arm, somewhat disappointed.

"What do you mean by 'indentured'? And what sort of task was she doing?" You ask.
"Indentured servants. Not proper slaves, you see. They are simply the wretched poor of this city and by your laws we have rented their lives for a time.

"So, you see miss, your attentions really are unnecessary. If an indentured were to come to any permanent harm, my Master might suffer the consequences under your law and I will not allow such failure."

Mevlov offers a glare at the guard, who shrinks back from the doorway.
"I do not tolerate failure."


"Wait," You say. "You mentioned your 'master'. Does that mean you're just a slave too? Who is your master?"
Mevlov sniff indignantly. "Hardly just a slave. I am a Slave Captain."

He doesn't add anything to that, apparently assuming that the distinction is obvious, although it isn't to you.
"As for my master, they choose to remain private and unseen."

"Well, what sort of task did you have the poor girl working at to leave her like this?" Ileska asks.
"Why, she was feeding, of course. And she hasn't finished yet, which is why there is little point in healing her wounds."

"Feeding? Feeding what? I don't underst-" Ileska breaks off at the same time you think of something:
Anna and her village.

"Vampires." You say, suddenly making the connection to the three workers with covered faces and strong enough to carry heavy iron easily.
"You have vampires as slave labor?"

Raising an eyebrow at you, Mevlov replies "Indeed. Perhaps you are less simple-minded than you appear."
"Vampires would explain why I could sense that their spirits are not properly attached to their bodies. I believe vampires are technically dead bonded with spirits by blood magic."

Ohm nods, helpfully adding "Despite their strengths, vampires are objectionable vessels because of their common, well-known weaknesses of sunlight, fire, and certain mystical properties such as running water."
Mevlov nods as he narrows his eyes at Sven and then you. "And who are you that travels with simulacrum that can sense spirits?"


You open your mouth to answer but have a hard time summarizing a response.
"You had vampires feeding on this poor girl?" Ileska spits at the small green man.

Unfazed by the anger of the witch three times taller than him, Mevlov shrugs. "She volunteered for the task and gets to spend the rest of the day resting."

"She said she changed her mind." You point out.
Mevlov rolls his eyes. "They always change their minds. It's unpleasant.

"The advantage of indentured is that they can't quit and even volunteering isn't necessary. I could order one of the other workers to come in here and have them finish the task.

"But that hardly seems fair to the wretch on the table as they'd have to go back to work. ...No. I think we'll finish the feeding as soon as you all leave."

He again gestures for you to leave the room.
"Won't the vampires kill her if they drink her blood? There are three of them."

"If they were not capable of restraint, I could hardly lead them through the city, now could I?" He scoffs.
Seeing Ileska's continued concern, he offers "You may feel free to check back tomorrow on the... on the girl, if you like.

"I'm sure she'll be fine by then. Just don't slow down our work any further. Now if you would," He gestures again.
"Please leave."

"You seem awfully eager to get us out of this empty room." You observe.
"As I said. My master prefers to remain private."

"Was he the guy in the motorcycle helmet?"
"What is a motorcycle?" Captain Mevlov ponders for a moment. "Wait, that doesn't make any sense. All motors cycle, don't they?"

Ohm tilts her head slightly. "I believe that if the term specifically refers to cycling, than the cycling itself is more important than the motor and is indicative of another preexisting term having been modified by the addition of a motor.

"Given the apparent need of a helmet, a motorcycle is likely a motorized wheeled riding conveyance, although, I am unaware of the existence of any such device."
Mevlov joins you in staring at Ohm's pale face.

A gentle turning at the edges of Mevlov's lips hints at the beginning of the first smile he's shown.
"You are simply stunning." He says to Ohm. "Are you of goblin origin?"

"I am pleased that you do not find me objectionable. I am not of goblin origin. 'Goblin' is a meaningless term like 'dirt'. However, I am not of gremlin origin either."

The composed captain drops his jaw slightly but quickly recovers.
"Yes. You may return tomorrow, but please leave now."

>Choose one.
>Attempt to rescue the girl anyway.
>Continue to probe him about his master.
>Leave politely for now.
>Magic: [Write-In]
ask if anon could join the vampires with their feasting. This way anon could network ourselves to them.
>Leave politely for now.

uuuuh, I guess when in Rome....

Missed vote one because I was still staring at the old thread lol.
>Leave politely for now.
let's finish our business with the gunsmith then
>>Leave politely for now.
>leave politely for now
Rolled 81, 8, 63, 19, 23, 30 = 224 (6d100)

>Leave politely for now
Closing vote.

>let's finish our business with the gunsmith then
Fair enough.
It's been, what, ten irl weeks since the idea was mentioned?
Let's see:
Availability, Quality, Temperament, Cost, Specialty, and Obstruction.
Roll 6d100
Any roll that exceeds mine by 50 or more is a critical success.
Let's see what Gary Can find!

>Missed vote one because I was still staring at the old thread lol.
This was a funny mental image of anon just staring at the page: "So...pretty... can't... look... away..."

>network ourselves to them.
Not sure which meaning of "network" you meant here anyway.
Rolled 83, 77, 77, 87, 7, 58 = 389 (6d100)

Rolled 21, 42, 64, 11, 6, 91 = 235 (6d100)


damn bro, nice rolls

I only need a good #5 now
Nice 6th roll. Kek your 5th is 1 lower than mine
The one roll I needed for a full set of successes :/

At least roll 6 is a crit now
Rolled 37, 83, 10, 55, 87, 10 = 282 (6d100)

This anon did it. Even increased the 2nd roll

My roll was pretty good 4 out of 6 in the high 70s and 80s
Doing my part
Welp fuck, i guess i forgot how to roll
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Well fuck, I guess I forgot how to update.

Seriously though, I was supposed to have half the day free yesterday and was going to write and post the update then. But absolutely none of that ended up happening.
But I will get you gents a proper gunsmith update before I sleep tonight.
alright my dude. As long as we still have at least 1 update per day
>Welcome to the gun show

"Alright, I suppose we'll leave for now." You say to Mevlov.
"But will we will be back tomorrow to check on that girl." Adds Ileska. "Perhaps we can find a metalsmith that can handle that special order you wanted, Gary."

Mevlov seems relieved as you file out of the room and once you are out, he closes the door behind him and makes a helpful suggestion.
"If you're looking for a metalsmith that takes special orders, Locke's shop on Cypress Way offered an array of services, but his shop had far too much activity for our needs."

"Uh, thanks." You reply slightly awkwardly before turning to walk out of the shop.
"And you, my dear...?" He says extending his green manicured hand to Ohm.

Tilting her head curiously at his outstretched hand for a moment, she then extends her tiny gloved hand. "I am Ohm the Least Objectionable." She offers, shaking hands in a gentle, experimental kind of way.

The title not fazing him in the slightest, he responds "It was a genuine pleasure meeting you, Miss Ohm. I hope I get the opportunity to speak with you again."

"I cannot accurately predict the likelihood of such a scenario, but it would not be an objectionable outcome. Goodbye Captain Mevlov, indentured servants, and ineffective guard." With that, she turns and follows you out of the shop.

The others quickly others her, even Sven who keeps looking back at the small room with suspicion. Then, you all hear the young woman gasp in pain again from inside the closed room.

Ileska stops walking for a moment but continues on out the door without a word. Victoria, however, trudges behind the group and loudly complains in a disgusted tone "Ugh! That was so disappointing! I barely got to do any violence at all!"

What the fuck can you do? She's a bloodthirsty demon.


Finding the shop was relatively easy once some exploring and eventual inquiring with the locals got onto Cypress Way. The shop's sign was brightly painted and the clean glass window showed several young apprentices working at various tasks you recognized as blacksmithing.

Walking inside, you find the workspace open and bright, with plenty of airflow to let the heat out. Shortly after you enter a teenage girl with blonde hair tied up in a kerchief and a thick cloth apron greets you in a friendly and upbeat manner.

You start to explain why you are there when a tall, thin man wearing a brown, long-sleeved tunic and a clean, thick leather apron approaches and interrupts.
"Thank you, Arden. I'll handle these guests personally."

As Arden slips away with a smile, he turns to you and then Ileska.
"Hello, I am Venk Locke, the smith. I can handle any metalwork you need to be done.

"What was it you came in here looking for? Perhaps you've already seen it, in our stock?"
You open your mouth to answer only to then realize that he is speaking directly to Ileska, fixing his eyes on hers.

"I have excellent tools for silversmithing if you'd like something special. I can just tell that you're a woman who prefers silver, miss...

"Oh, where are my manners? I haven't asked you for your name." He reprimands himself with a soft chuckle.

"My name is Ileska," she replies with a grin. "And you are right, I do prefer silver, but I am here because my friend Gary needs something."

"Your friend, eh? Well, any friend of yours, Ileska, is an important customer to me."
Turning to the rest of the group and seeming to notice you for the first time, he remarks on Victoria and Ohm.

"Oh, these girls can't be yours, Ileska, you're far too young to have children this big."
Chuckling at his obvious flattery, Ileska says "I'm older than I look and they..."

"I, too, am far older than I appear, Mister Locke," Ohm adds. "I am many times older than most people."
"Uh..." Locke replied. "That's cute."

"I am cute too, but I am not Ileska's. I am Gary's!" The little demon wraps her iron-like arm around your waist in a casual gesture.
You awkwardly step forward, trying to take control of the conversation.

"My name is Gary and I came here to ask you about guns. I have some ideas about enchanting them."
"Firearms, eh? I've made some in the past." The metalsmith's demeanor, fortunately, shifted into a much more professional mode when actually talking business.

"I even still have a hand weapon in storage that an enchanter friend of mine finished up but we could never make a profit off them." He says.
"If you are trying to give that a try, you'd better have some new ideas or you won't get much further than we did."

"Were you just looking to buy the gun or did you have some questions for me?"

>Ask about what's involved in gunsmithing
>Ask about the enchanter
>Ask about a possible partnership
>Ask about what's involved in gunsmithing
>"I am cute too, but I am not Ileska's. I am Gary's!" The little demon wraps her iron-like arm around your waist in a casual gesture.
>Ask about the enchanter

Gunsmithing is the part I figure we know
>>Ask about a possible partnership
> I will teach you all the mysteries of another world if you let me cum in your mouth everyday
>>Ask about what's involved in gunsmithing
>>Ask about the enchanter
>Gunsmithing is the part I figure we know
We rolled and determined that. Gary is just knowledgeable enough in /k/ to laugh at those who don't understand trigger discipline or recoil, but is otherwise as ignorant as myself. But he sure sens to think he knows what he is talking about.

>Ask about a possible partnership
>Oral history of other worldly mysteries

Okay. I can work with this. Closing the vote.
>Arriving at a palatable conclusion

You asked the metalsmith about the process involved in crafting a gun and he explains how most of the guns he has made have been handcrafted over the course of several days using the parts and tools he has in his shop and were usually special order requests.
"I always crafted the powdered bullet models, never the older 'Pack-n-Fire' style." Locke adds with a touch of pride in his voice.

"Although, for safety reasons, we had the powdered bullets assembled elsewhere, away from the forges." He says in a grinning aside to Ileska, as if to assuage any fears she might have had.

"When I was working with my enchanter friend, we were considering a multiple casting process to create a large number of guns, but we could never work out how to get the enchanting cost down to the point where people would actually buy the damn things. Looking to Ileska and the girls quickly he apologized for swearing and Ileska smiled and shook her head, dismissing it.

It seems that Ohm and Victoria weren't really listening to him as Ohm was studying the metalsmithing equipment as Victoria was watching her just as intently and curiously.
"Can you tell me more about this enchanter friend of yours?" You ask, continuing your discussion.

"Does he have a shop in Arbor?"
"Not anymore, I'm afraid." He says. "The cost of enchanting the guns was too much for our little enterprise to take off and he wasn't having much of a go of it in his shop here.

"He was always more about the work than selling himself, was the problem. So, he moved off to the mountains to study with some oddball mystic."

"Do you mean the mountains northeast of Arbor?"
"Yeah, it's not too far from the city in distance but it is up in the wilderness a bit."

"I believe I know the area! My master Rah lives there and I believe he is quite well versed in magical arts. He may be the 'oddball mystic' you mentioned!"

Nodding, Locke says "Rah, eh? I think that's the nut. Uh, no offense meant, uh, fellow."
"None taken, Mr. Locke!"

"What was your enchanter friend's name?" You ask, ignoring the interruption.
"'Egler Xandis' was his name. Usually just went by Xandis. Nice guy and a gifted enchanter, but a bit odd too.

He was more comfortable around books and scrolls than a woman, if you know the type."
You could guess.

"Do you think he would train me how to do the enchantments?"
"I'm afraid that I don't have a clue. The enchanting details were all his side of things and I don't know the first thing about magic.

"I know I sure wouldn't teach a man to fish if I made my way selling fish, but Xandis was never sharp like that. He might train you though, and if he does, I can sell you some of my guns if you want to try enchanting and selling them yourself."


"If I were to go into a partnership with you, it would be with a new design, not one of your old ones. I had a thought about the protection of the ammunition during loading."

"Oh, did you?" He asks, bemused.
"Yes, I did." You reply with a firm, but friendly, confidence. "Do you have something I could use to draw?"

Reappraising you with an intrigued look, he digs out a thin plank of wood and a piece of charcoal. You hurriedly scratch out a crude diagram of a clip being loaded into the handle of the pistol.

"See, if we enchant this part that holds a number of bullets, that I've named a 'clip'-"
"Because it clips into the handle of the weapon, I see!" Locke said, seeming very interested.

"Exactly, the clip has a mechanism that pushes the bullets up as the fired ones are expelled, here..."
"And since several bullets are in each clip, you can have multiple clips, and both the gun and the clip would be enchanted, loading the weapon in the middle of a battle would be safe!" Locke concludes with enthusiasm.

"Oh, my friend, 'Gary' was it? This is inspired! This design would be revelatory!

"It does not resolve the matter of paying for the enchantments, but it is a most desirable feature! Plus, you realize, we get to charge them for each additional enchanted clip and it makes sense for them to buy multiple. Hehehe..."

"Ah, you've inspired me to try to fashion prototype of this design! It might not sell, but it will be fun to make and could be a showpiece for the shop.

"I will, of course, give you half of the credit. Top-billing even! We'll call it... The 'Gary-Locke'!

"No. That's terrible. The 'Gar-Locke'? No... Ah! I've got it!

"I shall call it a 'Glock'!"

"...oh. That's actually-" You begin.
"Victoria! Put that down!" Ileska shouts.


Turning around quickly, you see Victoria holding up a huge wooden log with a massive anvil bolted to it with one hand while pointing out where it was bolted together with the other, apparently showing it to Ohm.
Ohm is leaning in under the heavy object examining it casually while Ileska is standing with her hands on her hips, looking for all the world like a disapproving mother.

"What?" Victoria's deep voice boomed. "The small construct is curious about the grafted object too was too short to see.

"And besides, I was bored. After this, can we please go disembowel those witches or find another spider or something?"

"Only if you're good and the witches attack first!" You call across the shop.
"I shall be obedient then!" Victoria replies, dutifully setting down the anvil with a thunk that shakes the floor.

"Thank you for your assistance anyway, Victoria. I did not realize that we would disturb anyone." Ohm says politely.

"It was nothing, Ohm. I find your curiosity about the world to be diverting and not even the slightest bit objectionable."
"Why, that is kind of you to say-Eep!" Ohm squeaks as Victoria wraps her in a two-armed hug, squeezing her middle and leaving Ohm looking a bit like a manhandled tube of toothpaste.

What the fuck.

"So you're an enchanter, yourself, eh?" Locke asks, somehow attributing this whole bizarre display to that.
"Sure. Let's go with that."

"...Say, we have some lozenges for when the apprentices get a throatful of forge smoke. Would your strong little darling want one?"

>Choose any combination of the below in any order:
>Have Locke start working on a prototype
>Ask Locke to wait on working on the guns for now
>Prepare to head up to the mountains to find the enchanter
>Meet up with the witches at the tavern as planned
>Stay the night at the tavern and leave in the morning
>Leave tonight for some reason
>Leave tomorrow after checking back on Mevlov's group
>Reassess inventory
>Spend some time and money shopping for [Write-In]
>Feed the cute loli demon a lozenge
By the way, sorry about the huge delay on this update. I had to rewrite it because I went too autistic in an unfun way, and then woke with a killer headache that I couldn't write anything through. And this time, grain alcohol was not involved.

I have to admit that Victoria is a lot more fun to write than I originally anticipated.
She's my first loli character.
She's also 100% player created.
The RNG and I worked up the entire spider encounter as a segue into Reed summoning an unstoppable demon as a bullshit ante penultimate fairy boss battle with a built-in escape window if you guys couldn't make your own.
However the lead-up encounter went down, I had Reed intending to ignite the spider web to finish the ritual to summon and claim the demon.

>try fireballing the web
>you know
>for fun
I literally giggled for several minutes at this post.

So, Victoria was never intended to stay or to have another form, let alone a loli one.

...I love you gents!
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>Ask Locke to wait on working on the guns for now
>Feed the cute loli demon a lozenge
>Meet up with the witches at the tavern as planned
>Leave tomorrow after checking back on Mevlov's group
>Reassess inventory
>Spend some time and money shopping for [Weapon, armor and arrows]
>I have to admit that Victoria is a lot more fun to write than I originally anticipated.
>She's my first loli character.
>She's also 100% player created.
NIce to hear that
>The RNG and I worked up the entire spider encounter as a segue into Reed summoning an unstoppable demon as a bullshit ante penultimate fairy boss battle with a built-in escape window if you guys couldn't make your own.
>However the lead-up encounter went down, I had Reed intending to ignite the spider web to finish the ritual to summon and claim the demon.
>try fireballing the web
>you know
>for fun
>I literally giggled for several minutes at this post.
>So, Victoria was never intended to stay or to have another form, let alone a loli one.
>...I love you gents!
Thank Gork and Mork we didn't need to fight her(?). I suppose that if we gave him the orb, he would've summoned the demon to fuck us, right ?
>Have Locke start working on a prototype
Never too early to make a first attempt, I'm sure there will be complications he runs into as well.

>Meet up with the witches at the tavern as planned
Pray for Victoria's sake they attack

>Leave tomorrow after checking back on Mevlov's group
If possible ask someone who would know about how slavery or whatever the fuck they're doing works and how legal it is

>Feed the cute loli demon a lozenge

Never thought my pyromaniac tendencies would come in handy, but here we are.
>I suppose that if we gave him the orb, he would've summoned the demon to fuck us, right ?
Oh yeah.
Probably wouldn't have even thanked you.

Well enflamed anon.
That’s pretty fucking sick, but that would explain a lot.

>Which wine with witch whine?

You accept the offer of the lozenge and, as Locke fetches a dusty jar off a shelf, you ask him to begin work on the prototype right away. "Certainly, my innovative friend. Here you are."

Opening the lid, you see a loose jumble of dull amber beads. For some reason, you had imagined individually wrapped Ricola.

Taking one, you walk over to Victoria and offer it to her.
"My current mass is fine and I don't expect I will need to ingest for a while."

"Don't worry, little darling, it won't fill you up and it'll help that hoarse throat of yours." Locke says.
Out of the side of your eye, you spy Ileska covering her smile with her hand.

"Can you try it?" You suggest.
The little girl shrugs her shoulders and approaches your extended fingers pinching the lozenge.

Rather than taking it from you with her hand, she merely opens her mouth as it is at about the same height. With an embarrassed glance to Ileska, who is now hiding a silent giggle, you pop the lozenge in Victoria's mouth.

You expect her to chew, swallow, or suck on the lozenge, but instead, as soon as she closes her mouth, there is a slight sizzling sound. When she opens her mouth a moment later, the lozenge is gone.

"Yum!" She booms. "I think I will like consuming this world's matter!"
You turn to Locke to try to explain, but he is distractedly trying to whisper something to Ileska as she giggles in response.


Making your goodbyes quickly, you pull Ileska away from the charming Locke and head off to find the Sunrise Inn to meet with the four witches. When you arrive, Sven offers to stable the horses and, once inside, you find the witches seated at a table in the center of the main room, looking relaxed.

You spot them easily as they are still wearing the black robes, although their hoods are now down. They all seem to be sharing a bottle of wine, sipping from small mugs.

The curvy witch Germaine sees you and beckons you over. It's a large table with four free chairs to accommodate you, but as you sit Victoria chooses to stand next to hers, fidgeting as you talk.

"Did you speak with your coven about the Dark Lord and how he lied to you, trying to trick you into attacking me?" You ask Germaine.
"We did." She sips her wine and runs her brushes a loose red curl of hair behind her ear.

"Well? What are they, or you, going to do about it?"
"We have a plan..." Germaine begins but looks away from you to the others without finishing.

"We have some disagreement over how to go about the plan." The tall, thin brunette says.
"We're going to kill him," The petite one says firmly. "And I think you should join us."

You stare at them for a moment, then sigh.
"How do you expect me to help you when he's the one looking to capture me?" You ask.

"I told you he wasn't smart enough to figure it out." The scoffing witch says. "We should just do it without telling him."

"That's enough, Saccine." The petite one snaps back at her.
Germaine and the tall one share a look that tells you this bickering has been going on for a while.

Turning to you, the petite witch says "I'm sorry. I am Lena. This rude warwitch is Saccine and that's Alyssa.

"When you were speaking to Germaine before, I wasn't sure about you. But it turns out this loose-shingle Dark Lord does seem to be trying to use us to get to you and has left no trace.

"We've exhausted our options and we can't involve outside parties without throwing suspicion onto Germaine's husband's death. So we thought we might use you to get to him."

Ileska crosses her arms and looks at the witches critically. "You want to use Gary as bait for a murderous necromancer, don't you?"

The witches look at each other, then back at you. Germaine flashes that slightly unsettling, assessing smile of hers, this time at Ileska as well as you.

She says "Well, we don't have any better ideas. He's warded himself so we can't target or track him and left no physical traces."

Alyssa shrugs her shoulders. "All we have is a spell he gave us that will signal him when we'd found you. So he could... Well, he offered to help us take care of you, you know, after."

"After you'd murdered me, you mean?" You say.
What the fuck.


"This was back when we thought you were the danger," Germaine says sweetly. "To tell you the truth, I'm starting to think that he killed my husband himself just to set this up."

"Can't you just set up a trap, use the spell, and spring it when he shows up?" You ask pragmatically.
Germaine sighs and shakes her head.

"He has been planning this for too long. Now that we know that what he's after is just, well, you, we don't think he'll show up if you're not there.

Ohm chimes in "He does seem to prefer to keep a distance from direct action. I cannot fault the strategy when it comes to countering Gary."

Turning to you, the small, pale golem-girl adds "It may be that he has remained unseen, distant, and remains while all others have fallen because he is the most intelligent... Or he is fearful of you where the others were not... Or possibly both."

"And the other issue with using that spell without you, Germaine continues. " is that once we've used it, we have nothing else to go on." She pauses and stares into space seemingly distracted.

Saccine interrupts "He tried to make fools of us! He tried to use us! We can't let that slide! We've worked too hard to be taken seriously in this city!"

"Also," Ileska says. "There's the fact that he is likely a murderer and definitely wants to drag Gary off to some evil fairies who will then torture him for all of eternity."
"Oh," Saccine pouts, with a furtive look. "That's bad too, I guess. Yeah."

"We want you to come with us to our coven house when we do this." Lena says. "You should be perfectly safe, but we should know that we can not protect your companions as well."

She turns to the others and says "It may be dangerous so you may not want to join us."
Ileska responds firmly. "I'm not sure this is a good idea or that Gary should go with you at all, but if he does, I am going with him."

Victoria nods. "We should do it. I feel a deep thirst for battle and I shall quench it with the blood of this mewling Dark Lord!"
"Okay," Chuckles Saccine. "I'm starting to warm up to this freaky kid."

>Choose one:
>Decline their generous offer to act as bait for a murderous necromancer
>Agree and go alone, whynot?
>Agree and leave some of the party behind [Who?]
>Agree and bring the whole gang to the coven
>Agree but do it at the inn, not the coven where he's been before
>Agree but not until you get back from seeing the enchanter tomorrow


New Feature!
>To Do List:
(feel free to add, remove, or prioritize any items or ignore this completely)
>[ ]Check into Sunrise Inn
>[ ]Resolve Dark Lord of Undeath
>[ ]Resolve Fairy Leader
>[ ]Review Inventory
>[ ]Check on Mevlov's group
>[ ]Check on Locke's Progress
>[ ]Speak to Egler Xandis the Enchanter
>[ ]Return Sven to Rah
>[ ]Return to Dark Forest in Five Years
These are just some dangling threads we should probably take care of eventually and can now keep track of!
Rolling for choice (excluding write-in)
Rolled 3 (1d6)

Fucked up the syntax
Okayy, specifying Victoria
>Agree but not until you get back from seeing the enchanter tomorrow
gotta be prepared
>[1]Check into Sunrise Inn
>[6]Resolve Dark Lord of Undeath
>[2]Review Inventory
>[4]Check on Mevlov's group
>[5]Check on Locke's Progress
>[3]Speak to Egler Xandis the Enchanter
>[7]Return Sven to Rah
>Agree and leave some of the party behind [Victoria]
1.0 votes

>>Agree but not until you get back from seeing the enchanter tomorrow
>gotta be prepared
1.2 votes with reasoning

Closing vote....

Like 18 hours ago.
I finally got a full night of sleep, woke up, and realized that I owe you gents about 5 extra updates I'm so behind.
...And then I proceed to be unable to post for 18 hours.
>Real witches, real reviews

Mulling the idea over for a moment, you decide to help the witches setup a trap for the Dark Lord, but not until after you meet up with the enchanter tomorrow. After all, you have your own priorities and issues to deal with too.

"The Dark Lord is a threat and a menace and I'll be happy to help you in dealing with him." You say, smiling pleasantly. "However, but I have some business take care of just outside of town tomorrow and I'd prefer to take care of that first."

Lena studies you for a moment, perhaps trying to gauge if you're just dodging them.
"Alright, that seems reasonable. Tomorrow then." Lena says as she stands extending her hand to shake yours.

When you shake her hand, her eyelids briefly flutter in an odd, disconcerting way, as if she were dreaming.
Flashing you an earnest smile, she says "I believe if this works out, we could have a profitable future together, Gary."

Pulling your hand back, you find that she's palmed you a small scroll. You look at her curiously.

"That's just a simple message spell." She says. "Drop a bit of magery into it and we'll know to come find you."

"Can I unroll and look at it? You ask.
"Certainly, but its just marked with a symbol of our coven, 'The Four Winds United.'"

"Shall we leave them to their business then ladies?" Lena says, stepping away from the table.
"Okay kid," Saccine says, ruffling Victoria's long hair. "I guess we'll see you tomorrow.

"Don't get into too much trouble and bloodshed, all right?"
"I agree to nothing!" Booms Victoria with a defiant smile.

Saccine laughs then swallows her mug of wine before setting it down and snatching up the bottle. Germaine thoughtfully stares into her mug of wine for a moment before setting it down on the table and stepping away.

"I'll see you both soon, all right?" Germaine says. Alyssa looks up at her friends as they are stepping away from the table begins to look flustered.

"Wait, that's it? Aren't we going to... I thought we were...." She looks at Ileska and says. "You're Ileska, the Red Witch of Ironshod, right?
Ileska nods and says "Yes," with a smile.

"Well, I'd really like to talk to you about something tomorrow, if that's okay?"
Ileska laughs "I think that'd be fine, Alyssa."
"...okay. We'll see you then."

"As I am usually taken as a human female, " Ohm speaks up. "I have been attempting to study them in order to emulate them. But they are inconsistent and difficult to understand."
You remain diplomatically silent and just nod your head.

File: FourWindsUnited.png (55 KB, 1280x720)
55 KB

After the four witches leave the inn, you feel somewhat curious and unroll the little scroll. You immediately recognize the symbol for their coven as the same one as the symbol blazing across the sky in the vision you had not so long ago.

Unsure of what it might mean, you roll the scroll back up and pocket it. Then you approach the innkeeper to see about getting a room for the night.

As you are asking him if there's a room available, Ileska interrupts to ask if there is an east-facing room on the third floor available. Knowing that she is asking because of their famous sunrise view of the city, the innkeeper apologizes.

"I'm sorry ma'am but Prince Tomoz of Yelp booked the suite and the accompanying a room for himself, his fiancee, and her handmaiden. But we do have an east-facing room on the second floor available."

"Oh, I suppose that'll be fine." Ileska says, sounding disappointed.
Wait, what the fuck did he just say?


"I'm sorry, did you just say 'Yelp'?" You ask.
"Oh yes. Apparently he's the prince of an island nation off to the northeast named Yelp. He came to the Shattered Isles on a tour with his fiance, Princess Adeline.

"It seems that he's been sending his champion around the local region disguised as a scribe trying to encourage goodwill. It's said that this champion has single-handedly killed both a Demon Lord haunting a bridge and an evil faye wizard who kidnapped all the young girls from a small village in the south."

"Single-handedly?" Asks Ileska feigning shock with an amused grin on her face.
"Well, some stories say he travels with a young and beautiful nymph enchantress, but that's the sort of extravagant detail that gets added onto stories to make them more exciting, if you ask me." The innkeeper replies, whispering the last part conspiratorially.

"It really is quite an honor to have the prince and princess staying with us while they're awaiting passage back to their homeland."
Great. Yet another damn mystery for you to deal with.

>Choose one.
>Tell the innkeeper that you are Gary, Champion of Yelp and try to get a discount.
>Check in without revealing who you are and then spy on the prince and princess on the third floor.
>Just simply check into the room and go introduce yourself the prince and princess like an adult.
>Ignore the "Mystery of Yelp Sidequest" and just go to bed, you've got a long day tomorrow.


To Do List:
(feel free to add, remove, or prioritize any items or ignore this completely)
>[/]Check into Sunrise Inn
>[ ]Review Inventory
>[ ]Speak to Egler Xandis the Enchanter
>[ ]Check on Mevlov's group
>[ ]Check on Locke's Progress
>[ ]Resolve Dark Lord of Undeath
>[ ]Return Sven to Rah
>Just simply check into the room and go introduce yourself the prince and princess like an adult.
We have no need to haggle
It'll cheapen our legend

>[ ]Check on Mevlov's group
>Just simply check into the room and go introduce yourself the prince and princess like an adult.
>[1]Check into Sunrise Inn
>[2]Review Inventory
>[3]Speak to Egler Xandis the Enchanter
>[5]Check on Mevlov's group
>[4]Check on Locke's Progress
>[6]Resolve Dark Lord of Undeath
>[7]Return Sven to Rah
>Room with a view

You check into the inn, then go find and help Sven who had been struggling to drag in the saddlebags himself despite his arm strength being based on his will, spectral energy, and burlap. Once unpacked in the room you look at the large bed and chuckled at how you now considered a straw bed a lovely luxury.

"I think we should go talk to the prince and princess." You suggest to Ileska.
"Oh, I doubt they would let us see the sunrise from their room, Gary."

"What? No. I mean because 'Yelp' is a word from my world."
"A 'yelp' is a short shout, Gary."

"No. Well, okay. Yeah, it is. But it's also this whole, other, review thing. Trust me, it's odd and I think we should check it out."
"Well, I suppose there's no harm in knocking on their door."

"I shall come too. It has been a long while since I have slain royalty." Says Victoria, leaping to her feet from her position at the end of the bed.

"I, uh, don't know if that's necessary, Victoria..." You begin.
"And also," Interjects Ohm, rescuing you."I believe that Sven and I will have a greater need of your presence as we have a small errand outside."

"Really?" Asks Victoria, sounding doubtful.
"Oh yes," replies Ohm confidently. "While a prince is unlikely to attack Gary inside the inn inside the city, two individuals who resemble young girls accompanied by only a scrawny, thin, and weak-looking scarecrow could easily come under attack in the city at night."

"That sounds possible," Victoria agrees, screwing up her face in a cute, thoughtful expression. "Fine. I shall escort your construct girl on her errand, but if you kill the royals without me, I shall be very cross!"

With that, the three of them left as Sven probed Ohm about their errand. She would only say that it was a surprise and that he would see in the morning followed by what you thought was Ohm chuckling.


You and Ileska go up to the third floor and quickly identify the eastern suite. You politely knock on the door but, although you can hear the sounds of people inside, nobody answers the door.

Instead, another eastern door to your left opens, and a woman approaches wearing a short, peach-colored apron that you realize must be a handmaiden's uniform. Her black hair is tied up in a prim bun and she looks down as she addresses you.

"Excuse me, folks. But the prince and princess are not taking visitors at this time." She raises her face in a contrite smile and her face goes slack in shock.

Her olive-skinned face is still lovely and you would recognize her even without the faded scar on her cheekbone.
"Tala?" You and Ileska exclaim at the same time in surprise.

She looks around to see that nobody else is around and ushers you into the suite.
"Tala, what's the meaning of this? We asked not to be disturbed." A rather posh looking gentleman with a roguish goatee demands.

"Oh hush, Thomas! These are Gary and Ileska, they're friends from Ironshod." Adele Cartwright says, looking as beautiful as ever.
What the fuck is going on?

>Demand answers
>Demand they stop using your fame
>Demand free room service
>Demand more demands
>Ask instead of demand, whynot?
This update was supposed to get posted this morning, but I've been unable to do it all day. Next one will be sooner.

>Demand answers

"Hey uh good job freeing Thomas and all but why are you claiming to be royalty from my nation?"

I had to go all the way back to thread one because I forgot these characters.
>Demand answers
I demand that you fight me, ShortBitch!
>Catching up with abandoned sidequests.

"Hey, Tala and Adele! Uh, good job freeing Thomas and all, knew you could do it by the way, but why are you claiming to be royalty from my nation?"

Tala immediately looks at Adele and Thomas with clear "I told you so!" expression. Adele starts to speak "Well... You see..."

But she trails off and suddenly becomes intent on studying her shoes. Thomas looks at Adele for a long moment, a small smile briefly glimmering on his features as if lost in a happy memory, before he snaps his head to you.

"Gary! We haven't actually met. I'm Thomas." He smiles and grabs your hand, shaking it in a friendly and casual manner. "I am told that you seriously considered risking life and limb to rescue me from an unjust fate, despite having never met me and only knowing my lovely benefactors for the shortest of times."

"Regardless of the truth to the stories about you, you will always be a true champion to me."
This fucking guy.

He was, like, halfway between Johnny Depp and John Stamos. He was so fucking handsome and charming that you really wanted to hate him but couldn't justify it as anything but jealousy.

You kinda wished he was more of a prick so that you could hate him. But he actually seemed alright.

"About those stories about me... I hear that I am "The Champion of Yelp" and you are my prince? Care to explain?"

"About that..." Thomas scratches the back of his neck. "After the beautiful ladies, Tala and Adele, came to my rescue, we needed a fast departure from this land before Adele's father... well, anyway there is a ship."

He takes a step back and spreads his hands. "Ah, what a ship! You've never seen the like, Gary! Crisp white sails, a spacious cabin more than ample enough for a captain, his wife, and loyal attendants.

"And the owner is just a hair's breadth from selling it to me! If that weasel hadn't bought out the holding company we'd be long gone and out of your hair by now!" He smiles and offers a small chuckle.

His smile fades slightly as you don't join his chuckle. Perhaps he realizes that he hasn't actually explained anything yet.

"Well, as it happened, I had a small nest egg, intended to purchase the ship, and we decided to stay here until our ship came in, as it were. However, a man traveling with two impeccable women and possessing a large sum of funds tends to draw attention.

"Since we were looking to remain unfound by Adele's family, I suggested that we pose as royalty. After all, nobody questions a royal.

"And of course, the obscure but noble nation of Yelp was a perfect cover. I insisted that we-"
"THAT'S A LIE!" Adele shouted, surprising everyone.


She rushes to you and grabs your hands. "It was me! It was my idea! It's all my fault!" The pretty girl sags in her expensive looking dress.

When the innkeeper asked who it was that wanted to book the Sunrise Suite, I... I don't know. I just remembered how exotic your land sounded and how I wanted to know more about it but was afraid to ask and reveal my ignorance."

Adele looks up at you with contrite, delicately made-up eyes. "I just knew that if we claimed to be from Yelp, nobody would ask, and they didn't! At first.

"Thomas was amazing. He took a few words from me and spun a grand tale of traveling royalty that made my head spin.

"Nobody doubted us at all. And then, stories about you started to spread all over the inn. Did you really kill a demon?" Adele asks, peering at you as if expecting you to reveal your final form or something.

"The next part was my fault," Tala says, obviously feeling guilty. "When I realized who everyone was talking about, I blurted out that I knew you!

"I don't know why I did it, I think I was just excited. But then everyone wanted to know what I knew.

"Fortunately, my prince came to my rescue and told everyone that you were his noble champion, humbly helping those in need as you traveled," Tala says, smiling.
"Heh... It sounded a lot simpler at the time, I admit." Thomas says, a little embarrassed.

"Say," Thomas asks. "Did you really defeat an entire village of vampires?"
"Uh," You reply. "It was closer to 'uncursed', really, and Ileska did most of the work."

Thomas looks at Ileska, who shrugs noncommittally. "Ah, where would we be without the wonderful, beautiful women who support us? Eh, Gary?"

Now it's your turn to shrug noncommittally.
It seems like they were just trying to hide their identities.

>Choose a number between one and ten:
>Ask about their plans
>Ask about the ship
>Ask about any info they may have heard while staying at the inn
>Ask if you can come back to see the sunrise in the morning before Ileska explodes
>Ask about publishing the serial adventures of "Gary the Champion of Yelp" and insist on retaining 90% of the royalties.
>Choose a number between one and ten:
>Ask about any info they may have heard while staying at the inn
Gary will commit suicide so that he can return to his home dimension

>Ask if you can come back to see the sunrise in the morning before Ileska explodes

>Ask about publishing the serial adventures of "Gary the Champion of Yelp" and insist on retaining 90% of the royalties

Maybe just 80%
>The lowdown on the down-low

"Well," You say. "It seems like you were just trying to keep your heads down. I can understand that."

"Good man," Thomas says as he clasps you friendly on the shoulder. "From how admirable the ladies had described you, I knew you would be forgiving of a little borrowing of your name."

"Since you have been keeping your heads down, mostly staying in the inn, have you heard anything interesting?" You ask as you slide out from under Thomas' arm.
Thomas frowns and Adele looks confused.

"Do you mean like gossip?" Tala asks.
"Well, not exactly." You reply.

"I mean mostly like any information about important events going on nearby, you know, like plot hooks?"
Adele shook her head. "I've never much enjoyed gossip or fishing."

Thomas shrugs, "Honestly my fellow, since they found out that we knew you, most people just want to talk about us about 'Gary the Champion'. Heh. You're quite popular at the moment."

"I think perhaps Gary was wondering if you had heard anything about the slaves in the city, or a coven called 'The Four Winds United', or anything that might pertain to our trip up the mountain out of the east gate tomorrow," Ileska says, doing her best to be helpful.

Thomas made a grimace at the mention of slavery. "I've had some experience with a slave ship before and that was more than enough for a lifetime."
Adele wrapped her arm her 'prince' and added "I've always felt it was a horrid practice.

"But my father always insisted it was necessary for certain prisoners of war and the like." Thomas lovingly wraps his arm around Adele now as well.

Thomas adds "I think I remember hearing something about the death of a cobblestone heir, an Earl I think, or something, somehow being connected to a coven like that. I'm sorry if I'm not being very helpful."

"Oh!" Tala pips up. "I think I know the kind of thing you mean! Like, you're going out the east gate, right?

"Well, there are only a few places out that way. The pass over the mountains has been closed off for months due to hurks, there's the dwarves' village, and towards the northern peak is supposed to be some kind of retreat.

"Mystics and such go way up the mountain to study or something. But there's a hot springs lower on the mountain that some folk in Arbor would go to.

When I heard about it, I thought I would check it out but apparently, some witch turned a boy into a giant in there or something and everyone's scared to go back."

"'Witches'..." Ileska grumbled. "It's always supposedly a 'witch'."
"Maybe it's really a boggart?" You suggest, producing a smirk on your friend's face.

"Well, that's certainly interesting, but it doesn't really make sense. Why would someone do that and why would people just leave the springs and not come back?"

Tala shrugs. "I thought it was weird too. But these city people are nice enough, but a little odd to me, anyway."


Glancing over at Ileska, you see her looking out the large windows at the darkened city of Arbor.
"Oh, yeah. Would it be alright if we came back with our friends just before sunrise, just to see the view?"

Ileska quickly looks at Thomas and Adele. "If it's not too much of an imposition?" She asks with a bright smile and a hopeful expression.

Thomas immediately replies "Of course, its no trouble at all! We've been getting up early every day just to see it.

"Or sometimes staying up late." He adds, smiling at Adele.
Tala blushes, clears her throat, and asks "Who are your friends?"

"Ah, well, that's a long story, but one is a spirit named Sven and the other two are odd but seem to be young girls named Ohm and Victoria."
"It will be a pleasure to meet them, I'm sure." Adele says sweetly.

"I'd wager you've met all kinds of characters in your recent adventures, Gary." Thomas remarks.
"You'd be right, Thomas. If you keep circulating the tales, we could publish the serial adventures of "Gary the Champion of Yelp"."

"Ha! They would make some bard a pretty coin or two if they could write up your deeds in a proper song."
"I insist on retaining 90% of the royalties." Say with a smile.

When he responds with just a confused look, you add "Maybe 80% and all merchandising rights."
He chuckles and shakes his head as Ileska giggles at you.


When you return to your room later in the night, the others are already inside. You see Sven sitting in a chair while Ohm and Victoria are sitting on the bed.

Ohm is holding a bird that looks like a small brown crow to you. As you enter, she sets it on the bed where it hops an inch, wobbles, and falls over.

Victoria, however, barely glances up as she is licking her forearm like a cat. On a second glance, you're alarmed to see that both her hands are coated in blood and gore and she seems to be licking them clean.

"Oh my!" Ileska starts. "What's happened? Who's blood is that?"
Victoria offers a cute little shrug and shake of her head.

"I didn't know if they had names, I just crushed them, so many of them! It was so much fun!" She flashes a toothy, crimson-coated smile and returns to licking her hands.

"Uh, Ohm?" You ask tentatively.
"Vermin, Gary. Rats specifically, I believe, although I am not particularly familiar with all rodent species." Ohm clarifies.

"Their heads popped right off! Pop! Squish! So much fun!" Victoria squealed in her deep voice. "It wasn't battle, but at least it was carnage."

"I see." Said Ileska calmly. "So you went out to kill rats?"
"No, we went out to find a bird, and Victoria decided to kill rats when I was unable to propose a superior argument against the idea."

Looking at the bird on the bed, flopping, hopping and struggling to stand you just got more confused.
"Why did you need a bird?" You ask.

"She found one for me, Target. Ohm is a very considerate friend." The bird on the bed says, looking at you before toppling over.

"I have superior senses to you and miss Ileska, but I do not actually "see"." Ohm begins. "I found myself thinking about how excited Ileska Ileska was to see the sunrise and wished I could experience it myself.

"But I cannot as I do not have eyes. Sven has a similar sense but he can see through the eyes of the body he takes, if it is intact.

"Birds have superior eyesight, are often found wild in the city, and are not often missed if taken or killed unless they are clearly a possession of a person. Therefore, I wanted to find a bird so Sven could enjoy seeing the sunrise."


Ileska gasped and put her hand to her chest. "That is so sweet of you, Ohm."
"Unfortunately, moving as a bird seems to be troubling him." Ohm comments, looking down at the flopping bird.

"I do not... understand... how they make this... seem graceful, Target." Sven says as he struggles to stand and keeps rolling over. He keeps rolling back and forth.

As a dead bird.
On the one bed.

Next to a demon loli partially coated with alley rat blood.
On your only bed.

You politely ask the three of them to move so you can get some sleep before sunrise comes.
You undress to your t-shirt and shorts and slip under the cover, so tired that you're barely aware when Ileska gets in her side.

"Thank you for asking about the sunrise, Gary."
"Mmm?" You reply. "Oh, forget it. I knew it was something you cared about."

"You're a considerate friend too, Gary."
"Mmph... Maybe, but I've never found you a dead bird before."

Hearing Ileska's quiet giggle is the last thing you remember before the dream.

>Choose one or more elements of what Gary's dream features:
>His adventures here
>Someone he's met, who?
>Someone he's killed, who?
>Something he fears, what?
>Something he desires, what?
>The possible, non-prophecy future
>I don't know, man, Roll 7d100 or something
>Gary will commit suicide so that he can return to his home dimension
One of my favorite, all-time questions: "To what end?"
Why and for what purpose would he return? To what end?
Suicide seems a bit drastic just because these guys don't have chocolate.

Oh, by the way, I never apologized for apparently stealing from you the gimmick of the isekai mc having in their pockets whatever the player has in their pockets.
Miss linked.
I did not forget you anon.
I appreciate all my players.
>"I didn't know if they had names, I just crushed them, so many of them! It was so much fun!" She flashes a toothy, crimson-coated smile and returns to licking her hands.
>His adventures here
>Someone he's met, who?
the wizard
2 days later but we got a doot. btw what was the number for ?
>Something he fears, what?

Probably that eternity of torture the fae have planned for him
>Actually using the sarcastic write-in

You are running as fast as you can and you've almost reached the bridge across the chasm into Anna's village. You risk a quick look behind you and see the massive, shadowy swarm of hundreds of fairies pouring out from the Dark Forest, all pursuing you.

Turning back to the bridge, you are almost upon it when it erupts into flames and clatters down the chasm. You manage to stop yourself in time to stop at the edge, turn around, and see the swarm of shadowy Dark Fairies surrounding you.

One feminine figure in a dark hooded robe and a deeply sinister aura steps forward and says in a powerful, yet sultry voice "We finally have you my little princeling!"
You smirk and flip her the bird as you jump back into the chasm to your death.


You awake with a start, lifting your face from the small table, the edge of your sandwich wrapper, and one tiny french fry stick to your face briefly before falling away.
"Huh, " You think. "I just committed suicide and just ended up returning to my home dimension, I would never have assumed that might happen."

You rub the sleep and salt from your face and look around the McDonald's restaurant you just woke up in. None of the customers or staff seem to have noticed that you fell asleep, but that's probably just because they're all chickens.

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You look out the window at the hot New Mexico sun beating down on the cars in the parking lot and the endless desert beyond, and relax as you see the Wizard walking inside. Finally, you can't even remember how long it's been since you started waiting for him.

"Hi, Gary!" He says as he sits down. "Are you ready to plan this heist?"
"Of course!" You say. "Let's go over what we know..."

"First, did you want me to come with you? I might not be strong enough to take on a whole army by myself." The Wizard admits. "But if you really need help, then we can pull this job together!"

"No," You reply. "I want to do this alone. If there is something we didn't account for with this plan, then I can improvise it later."

The Wizard looks like he wants to argue, but instead, he simply nods his head and smiles with those blue eyes of his. Then he takes a deep breath and exhales slowly before speaking.

"Alright, I understand; You're young. Just let me know if anything changes your mind. My offer to join you still stands."

You nod and continue nibbling at your cold food while the Wizard tells you what he's learned about the next part of the plan. "Okay, so where are we going to do this?" You interrupt.

"And who are we going to steal the money from?"
The Wizard laughs again. "Oh, we are stealing something far more valuable than money, Gary."

You smile and shrug. "Yeah... Well, what is it then? Jewels? Computer chips? Beanie Babies? What is the score?"

The Wizard looks around the room, eyes the chickens suspiciously, and whispers to you conspiratorially "It's not what it sounds like, but we are stealing the souls of innocent people to feed our own eternal power!"
"So..." You begin. "Are they kept in a tote bag or what?"

"Well, no. They are in an artifact, but the Orb of Death currently holds 35 souls.
"I think I got one of those in a drop from killing a troll once."

"What are we doing with these souls anyway?" You ask. "We're not going to be able to just eat them."

The Wizard shakes his head. "No, you're right, that won't work either.

"These souls are actually trapped inside the Orb itself! They have to be released with magic."

"Oh, magic doesn't exist. I guess we'll just sell it on eBay. Where is this artifact anyway? Rockcastle?" You ask.

"No. It's in the dungeon of another castle. The famed White Castle." He says.

"It's pretty well hidden though, so you'd probably need help finding it. My offer still stands or you could bring someone else, you have a lot of contacts..."

"Alright, I know someone who would work. I'll call them up and go find the dungeon." You say.
"But remember, if I get caught by security or guards, I'm blaming you for it."

"Good luck kid! See ya later!" The Wizard smiles at you, snatches up your Chicken McNuggets, and whistles as he leaves the restaurant.


You blink and you find yourself standing outside White Castle with your chosen partner for this heist. Looking down, you ask if they're ready.

"Let's do this!" Ohm replies as she straightens out her black hoodie. She's wearing a knit cap low over her eyes as always, but you can tell she's determined.

You both start walking towards the front door of White Castle. You can hear some yelling coming from the parking lot, but you don't pay any attention to it.

Instead, you keep walking forward until you reach the front doors and kick them in dramatically.
As soon as you enter the building, you see several guards patrolling and one of them sees your entrance and calls out to you.

"Hey! Who are you two?" He asks.
"Just some people who want to rob White Castle." You reply.

"Oh, well, come on in then, we've been waiting for you." He says.
He escorts you into the kitchen area where there's a bunch of kitchen staff bustling about, preparing gourmet little burgers.

"So where is the dungeon?" You ask the helpful guard.
"Dungeon? Oh yeah, the basement is through that door there. Should I wait here for you?" He asks.

"No, you can go now and forget about us." Ohm replies.
"Damn, that Jedi Mind Trick you do works like magic!" You say. "I have to take you on more heists."

"There is no such thing as magic." She says.
You nod and laugh as you continue down to the basement where you find an old man sitting in a chair playing with his at his cellphone.

Hello?" You ask.
He looks up from his phone and slowly puts it away. "Yeah, what is it?" He asks.

"I was wondering if you knew where the Dungeon is." You explain.
The old man sighs. "It's not very far from here, but it's really hard to find since most who see it never leave alive."

"What kind of place is it exactly?" You ask.
"A lot like a prison, except without the bars, and far more death." He grins.

"Cool, cool...." You say. "But, where exactly?"
"In the sub-basement, just follow these stairs." He says pointing to a series of dark wooden steps leading down that could swear weren't there a moment ago.

He gets up and shambles through the door, clearly intending to take you there rather than just give you directions. You take a deep breath and sigh before slowly following him. When you finally get to the bottom, you notice that there's actually a large room filled with all kinds of tools and machinery.


There's also a door in the wall which has a handmade sign hanging on it reading 'DUNGEON'.

"This is where I keep my monsters." The old man explains. "They're kept in good condition so they can serve me well when they're needed."

He opens up the door to reveal a large closet.
You look around and just see cages full of different small animals, including rats, mice, spiders, and even a few cats.

"So," You say, "We have an old man, a bunch of old tools and machines, and some wire cages with critters in them. I think the Wizard is playing a prank on me.

"What do you think, Ohm?"
"I think it is a disturbing sign that every single one of these tools and machines is covered with dried blood." Ohm says.

"Well, maybe it's true that I don't clean up my toys properly. You may have me there, girl." The old man says in a creepy tone and with a creepier smile.

"And I have the Orb of Death right here," He says, tapping the glass eye in his left eye socket.
"You're telling me that there are 35 innocent souls trapped in your glass eye?" You ask scoffing.

"Oh, there's more than three times that many in there. But there's always room for two more..." He grins sinisterly.

"Hey, Ohm, he thinks we're innocent!" You laugh.
"I'm sorry?" The old man says, clearly confused.

"The girl seems so young that I had assumed that she was a virgin as well." He explains.
"Virgin? That's what you meant by- Wait, "as well"? I'm not a virgin!" You say indignantly.

"If you say so, Gary." He chuckles.
"I'm not!" You insist.

"My mistake then." He replies. "Where were we? Oh yes, I believe I will begin sadistically torturing you horrifically now."

"Okay, sure. That sounds reasonable. But can I ask why are you doing this first?" You ask.

"Because I like it." He answers simply.
"And I have been looking forward to it for so very long, my little princeling..." The old man adds in a sultry, lilting voice as his form flickers into that of a dark hooded feminine figure.

"There is still something I desperately want from you, Gary..." She says addictively as she pulls back her hood. Her robe drops to the dusty floor, revealing a voluptuous body poured into a shiny black leather outfit stolen from Trinity's closet in the Matrix.

Her flawless skin is a light grey, accented with blue symbols tattooed here and there on the ample amount of skin revealed by her outfit. Her colorless skin is starkly contrasted by her bright, red-orange hair cascading loose from her head.

"Will you give me want I want, Gary?" She asks you with a beautiful smile, a voice dripping with honey, and eyes like a shark wearing too much eyeliner.
You stare at her, feeling a sense of dread wash over you.

"What... What is it that you want?" You answer.
"What do you think it is, boy?" She responds with a smirk.


"I want your endless, eternal suffering!"
There is a frightening maniacal glimmer in her eye when she leans forward and chuckles.

"Ah, but there's one thing you're forgetting..." You tease. "Your monsters."
The sound of a rattling cage causes her to spin around and look behind her.

Ohm is standing there holding up a wire cage full of rats. In a deadpan voice, she says "I'm a distraction."

Sudden realization flooding her face, the dark fairy spins back towards you. Her face rapidly shifting from shock, to pain, and finally to mirth, as you plunge your trench knife into her heart.

"Fool..." She gasps, withering to don't as she speaks. "Without me to control it, the Abyss will consume you all!"
"Cool story bro." You reply as you flip off the thot until she is nothing more than a pile of dust with a glass resting on top.

Ohm carefully sets down the rat cage and picks up the glass eye, examining it briefly.
"It seems that we were successful." She says as she hands it to you.

"'I'm a distraction.' ...Really?" You ask as you look down at her reproachfully.
"Don't blame me, Gary. This is your dream." She points out matter-of-factly. "You weirdo."

You start to laugh but a heavy weight on your chest prevents you from taking a breath. Frantically, your hands claw at the pressure and find a little girl's hand.

You blink in the darkness of your room in the Sunrise Inn. Victoria is standing by your side of the bed withdrawing her hand from your chest.

"I told you I could wake him by leaning on him." She says in her deep, demonic voice to the fully dressed Ileska.
"That was just you leaning on me?" You ask. "How heavy are you?"

Victoria put a little finger up to her chin thoughtfully. "I am unfamiliar with the measurements of other worlds. So I would say... Very." She smiles brightly and chuckles deeply.

"Come on, Gary. Get up. It's almost time to go upstairs and see the view of the sunrise from Thomas and Adele's room." Ileska says. "Tala said she would wait outside their door to let us in."

"I am very excited to see the sunrise too, Ileska." Sven says, folding his wings and nestling in Ohm's hands.
Ohm adds "I hope that the bird's eyes give you a quality view, Sven."

It is too early in the morning for this. On the other hand, construct girls, spirit possessed dead birds, and even demon loli are less bizarre to you now than that dream was.
What the fuck.

>Choose Gary's reaction to the dream:
>Discuss it with Ileska after the sunrise
>Mention it to Ileska sometime later
>Talk about it with someone else [Who?]
>Ignore the dream and suppress it
>Run Away!
>Discuss it with Ileska after the sunrise
She was helping us with the others after all. Also glad to see you again, my man
>Also glad to see you again, my man
Good to be seen.
First I, and then my internet, suffered from heat exhaustion recently. Sometimes it's rough living in Uranus.

I wanted to say now, in case the thread gets pushed of the board before I can update, that I plan on working up a serious inventory, check Gary 's money and wand charge and such before starting the next threads.
I plan to do that tomorrow afternoon.
And if you're thinking "That’s good. Right?", possibly you’re not recalling some of my previous plans.

So, if the next thread is a day or so late, do not fear. I shall return.

Vote's still open for now btw.
>Mention it to Ileska sometime later

Doesn't seem too urgent but we should bring it up sometime. Also that wasn't a sarcastic vote, just poorly worded I guess.
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>Also that wasn't a sarcastic vote, just poorly worded I guess.
Oh, no. You were fine.

>>Actually using the sarcastic write-in
Was referring to
>"Huh, " You think. "I just committed suicide and just ended up returning to my home dimension, I would never have assumed that might happen."
>Gary will commit suicide so that he can return to his home dimension

For the lulz.

>Discuss it with Ileska after the sunrise
1.2 votes

>>Mention it to Ileska sometime later
1.2 votes

Rolling to break the tie. Ileska will hear about it sooner or later.
I expect the thread will fall before I can post, but Gary shall return soon, and in greater numbers.
Possibly in a Hot Springs Episode!
Macaques optional.

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