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OH SHIT NIGGA, you are SHOTASNIFFER. Eldest daughter of the skeleton villain LOLISNIFFER. After a long and arduous succesion war against your siblings, you now claim ownership of your family's island, as the leader of the UNITED SHOTA SNIFFING REPULIC. From here, you shall spread your skeletal power accross the globe and dominate the world!

But you also just saved the city from a giant mutated fleshy abomination that was made from one of your....more unruly brothers. It was a big huge epic mecha fight.

But this also put a damper on the whole villain thing. Again.
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4568669
Take some small joy in Bobby being beaten up
>>
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>>4568675
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4568679
"Uh sis, some rainbow dude calling himself the head of the hero association wants to talk to you"
>>
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>>4568683
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4568691
let's just do this thing
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>4568691
ayo, OP you're finally at a good time
>>
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>>4568697
bWOOP
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4568718
the fuck was that
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4568718
just give me the congratulations already, I'm used to it by now
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4568718
What the fuck does this dude want
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4568718
tell him you hate him
>>
>>4568724
looks like homo things too me
>>
>>4568728
he would go well with Marian then
>>
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>>4568724
"Greetings! Shotasniffer! As the representative of the Hero Association, I would like to offer our thanks for saving the city"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4568734
You planning to gift us something, homo man?
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4568734
thanks now leave before I introduce you to Marian
>>
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>>4568741
"Alright, I shouldn't keep you from continuing heroics. We'll deliver your commemorative medal"
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4568745
Coomsume the chalice for good luck
>>
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>>4568747
What are ya, a coder?
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4568760
Let's exit Equality Prime and regroup with our siblings on the ground.
>>
>>4568760
>>4568764

We better leave before he remembers-
"Oh yeah, I forgot I was supposed to bring your group to the ceremony!"
FUCK.
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4568760
>>4568766
>>
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>>4568768
"Of course! The BIG HUGE HERO CEREMONY to celebrate your WONDERFUL HEROIC ACCHIEVEMENTS, BROADCASTED LIVE GLOBALLY"
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4568773
Nearly go into a rage, only to be stopped by the crowd calling for you to be mayor
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4568773
We unironically have to crash this ceremony with actual villain stuff.
>>
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>>4568777
Of course! This must be all part of your villainous master plan! Pretend to be a hero long enough to lower their guard! Genius!
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4568784
We'll have our siblings backstab all the heroes once we're up on stage and take over the city in a grand coup.
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4568784
Yes clearly, surely there would be no way it would fall flat by another villain crashing the ceremony instead!
>>
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>>4568788
Nothing can go wrong!
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4568792
Let's timeskip to this ceremony.
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4568792
>>4568793
which is only like 30 mins later
>>
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>>4568796
gotta continue this later, fire alarm's ringing k bye
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4568801
come back as soon as you can then, OP
inb4 it was a nothingburger
>>
Where is skeleton island located?.
>>
>>4568821
the real skeleton island was the friends we made along the way
>>
been an hour
>>
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>>4569081
Has it? Has it really?
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4569091
not really it's only been 5 years
>>
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>>4569092
That's right, the accident was 5 years ago. You have to let go, anon.
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4569095
"NOOOOOOO, SKELETON DUDE"
"Who?"
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4569095
He meant 5 ears.
>>
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>>4569097
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4569098
Let's go to where a childkilling skeleton cowboy is
>>
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>>4569100
Currently hiding in a safehouse
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4569104
Think of normal cowboy things like horses, guns, killing children and laughing at their dead bodies, sunsets...
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4569104
What happened to the unsafe house?
>>
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>>4569107
It exploded. Which is a shame.
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4569109
You'll totally be safe, not be found by a vengeful mother of children you shot and thrown right into a gathering of heroes
>>
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>>4569111
"Pffft, what are the chances of that happening?"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4569119
"Very. Fucking. High. Texas."
>>
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>>4569121
"You worry too much, Simon. It's fiiiiiine. I'm laying low, nobody knows I'm here. I'll return to Greg when the coast's clear"
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4569124
"You really think Lolisniffer's own wife wouldn't know about the safehouses he put everywhere?"
>>
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>>4569125
"Well then it's a good thing I'm hiding in one of my own instead of his then isn't it? It's cool, this building is totally nondescript and smack dab in the middle of a bunch similar drab, concrete blocks. Located in the inner city. It's the last place anybody would look for a cowboy skeleton. People would just assume I'd go down south and hide there"
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4569128
"You mean the building I'm in while the heroes are hosting a ceremony here?"
>>
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Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4569131
"Of course not! What kinda a dumbass would I be that I'd make my safehouse inside a hero association convention center?"

Is he that kind of dumbass?

Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 92, 70 = 162 (2d100)

>>4569139
Nah he's not that dumb
>>
Rolled 13, 42 = 55 (2d100)

>>4569139
>>
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>>4569143
He is indeed not. It would be QUITE a while before anybody finds Texas the childkilling cowboy skeleton.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4569150
Still dumb enough to leave a trail of dead children though
>>
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>>4569152
Oh well, nobody's perfect. Still, gonna take sometime before he's snooped out. So we can leave Texas to his devices for now
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4569160
"Did you not tell him you're in the ceremony, Simon"
"No, Jojo."
>>
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>>4569163
"Now finish this cake disguise so we can initiate the Use-Lolisniffer's Kids-getting-a-heroes-award-as-a-distraction-so-we-can-surprise-attack-the-heroes plan"
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4569176
"Let's hope this doesn't ruined because of shenanigans, Mom has been planning this for days"
>>
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>>4569177
Surely there will be no shenanigans involved.
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4569189
now to shotasniffer and her siblings
>>
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>>4569192
We are in the planning phase of the big ceremony attack. Which will commence....next time we continue! Woop. See ya then

udpates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
Damn, just missed thead - good to see you back OP
I guess next time we take over the city and institute our communist regime huh. Arguably still heroic
>>
OH SHIT NIGGA I MISSED THE FIRST PART OF THE THREAD!!!
seconding this post >>4569248 -- also glad to see you back OP!
>>
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>>4569730
>>4569248
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4570407
OP! I'll KILL YOU!
Rolling to kill OP.
>>
>>4570416
RIP
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4570436
revive OP using greg's cookies
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4570407
it's been months man, the vtuber convention just ended
>>
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>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

That's a big Quattro
>>
>>4571928
>>4571930
fug
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4571928
Quattro changed wallpaper on pc with projector again?
when will he learn
>>4571930
for you
>>
>fucking 2s
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

yes hello I was told there would be bread
>>
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>>4571930
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>4571941
All in favor of banning surfing?
>>
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>>4571943
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4571945
Aye
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4571941

Wait does that inclue wave boarding?
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4571941
Plot annexation of city into USSR and dramatic revelation of villany
>>
>>4571945
>>4571948
>>
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>>4571950
Alright, so how are ya gonna do that?
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4571955
We will participate on Kingdom Idol and beat the heroes fair and square!
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4571955
Get Chosen One to give a speech during the ceremony using his cult leader charisma to convince the populace that communism is good actually - then all laugh maniacally on live TV while hitting the defenders with armies and knights and dragons and orbital lasers and stuff
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4571955
spread extra sharp legos across the town
>>
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>>4571964
"Interesting idea, Lilly"

"Perhaps too evil"
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4571968
order pizza with pineapples for the whole ceremony
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4571968
Send a eldritch horror?
>>
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>>4571971
"Now that's just cruel"

"Definitely too evil"

"C'mon guys, Hawaiian Pizza aint that bad"

"Shut up Quattro"
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4571983
I vote all of the above. Bombard them with an overwhelming onslaught of villainous shit
>>
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>>4571984
"And literal shit, if need be"

"Okay, who the fuck said that"
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4571994
NoT nOw MoThEr We ArE bUsY
>>
Rolled 576 (1d1000)

>>4571994
Meanwhile...
>>
>>4572004
>d1000
MEANWHILE INTENSIFIES
>>
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>>4572004
MEANWHILE

In a far away galaxy, the terrible planet eating galactic dragon awakens
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4572010
Good thing that's not this galaxy...
Back to see who it is that's interrupting the meeting
>>
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>>4572013
WHO IS INTERRUPTING THE MEETING?!

A. A villain!
B. A hero!
c. Quattro!
D. [enter name]
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4572019
D. Edgy antihero
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4572019
A but it's a concerned older family member come to give advice (roll for who)
>>
>>4572025
Also they are extremely edgy
>>
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>>4572025
An older family member? This could only be.....

Roll 2d100

Evens: An Aunt
Odds: An Uncle

Also decide which side of the family they're from
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4572029
It's Uncle James McBones!
>>
Rolled 47, 53 = 100 (2d100)

>>4572029
>>4572032
>>
Rolled 79, 34 = 113 (2d100)

>>4572029
Dad's (ah crap)
>>
Rolled 43, 2 = 45 (2d100)

>>4572029
He is the hippie parent from our mother side.
>>
Take over other anons, I've got a headache
>>
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>>4572035
Oh no! It's Auntie Murderbones!
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4572046
oh shit, Auntie Murderbones is an expert Base player!
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4572046
HELL YEA! The deadliest lesbian on earth!
>>
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>>4572051
>>4572050
Either way.... gotta suspend things here. My internet is shitting itself. Much apoologies. will continue tomorrow
>>
>>4572046
Clearly this badarse bitch gave me said headache. And destroyed OP's internet.
We best prepare our anuses
>>
Darnit I missed it again
>>4572057
Who is this wannabe emo rock player?
>>
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>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4576338
>>4572057
We're doomed, now family members are coming after us
>>
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>>4576342
Surely she's just visiting
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4576357
She's here to scold us on being "heroes" and challenges Shotasniffer to a fight.
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4576357

She's here to aid us in our plans for villainy.
>>
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>>4576360
>>4576366
Hmmmmm
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4576372
you decide then, OP
>>
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>>4576374
Aight call it, which is odds, which is evens
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>4576372

DECIDE OP
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4576381
Let's go evens
>>
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>>4576384
Alright, roll 2d100. First roll is for picking, second is result:

Evens: She's here to scold us on being "heroes" and challenges Shotasniffer to a fight.

Odds: She's here to aid us in our plans for villainy.

Tens: Both
>>
Rolled 51, 65 = 116 (2d100)

>>4576387
>>
Rolled 98, 61 = 159 (2d100)

>>4576387
>>4576388
rolling for TENS MOTHERFUCKER
>>
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>>4576391
Oh nice she's here to help
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4576402

Her specialty is any kind of warfare banned by the Geneva convention.
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4576402
>>4576406
also playing electric guitar
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4576402
Also to beat up dad
>>
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>>4576408
"Wassup kiddos. Heard you were planning to raid the heroes. Why don't ya gas them and then drop a virus bomb"

"uhhhh"
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4576424
That's actually a good idea. Why haven't we been doing that?
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4576424

"What kind of gas are we talking here?"
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4576424
Be more offended by the fact she's trying to act like a 90s kid
>>
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>>4576427
"Violating the Geneva convention is totes radical!"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4576430

As cringy as she is, you can't help but think she's onto something.
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4576430
Besides,we don't even have a virus bomb
>>
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>>4576432
"Oh snap! That's bad, home skillet. But it's cool beans. You can just make one, or jack up some government facility and steal one. It's gonna be hella dope"
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4576440

Yeah, okee that's gucci, dawg. We're gonna make our own virus bomb with an incredibly rare virus that only lives on Skeleton Island gg no re XDDDD
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4576440
Ask our siblings if we have any biological or chemical weapons
>>
>>4576444
whichever sibling said that needs to be punished
>>
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>>4576444
"Definitely not me"
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4576448
>>4576445
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4576448

"Fasten all seat belts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall! Cancel the three ring circus! Secure all animals in the zoo..."

"--LUDICROUS BOMB GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4576448

4chan ate my post-- rolled a 64 but I'm reposting again full text

"Fasten all seat belts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall! Cancel the three ring circus! Secure all animals in the zoo..."

"--LUDICROUS BOMB GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"
>>
>>4576452
>>4576454

im rarted. guess it's there after all.
>>
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>>4576452
Your aunt's presence has whipped your siblings into a RADICAL SPEAK frenzy
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4576457
At anyway, the plan sounds solid, hope it's not ruined by outside forces
Switch to Shadowboss Jr hunting for Texas
>>
>>4576457

"So what kind of virus is this SPECIAL virus that we can use to NOSCOPE the heroes ++ 420 $$ 1337?"
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>4576461

uhhh forgot my dice
>>
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>>4576462
>>4576461
Well let's see, it's...

A. Derived from the FleshBob. Turns all who affected in berserking monsters, minus the flesh mutation
B. Derived from the FleshBob. Turns all who affected in berserking monsters, plus the flesh mutation
C. Something that can shut down their super powers
D. Something that makes them shit themselves
E. Something that causes various body parts to explode
F. Something that kills their internal organs violently
G. [enter your own suggestion here]
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4576465
C and D
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4576465

B. Derived from the FleshBob. Turns all who affected in berserking monsters, plus the flesh mutation
D. Something that makes them shit themselves
G. Makes all afflicted wildly affectionate towards the non-infected
>>
>>4576467
Woah man
>>
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>>4576467
Woah, calm down there anon
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4576471

NO--WE'RE GETTING OUR RAMPANT CHAOS WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ArNz8U7tgU4

Like this but with more poo
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>4576471
"Wait, who fucking made this virus, you want berserking monsters to hug any non-infected while shitting themselves?"
>>
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>>4576472
Hmmm, sounds like you have a fetish
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>4576475
>>4576473
>>
Rolled (1d00)

>>4576475

A fetish for rampant chaos.

Get them scientists on that extraction process pronto!!
>>
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>>4576476
"Well, we could create the berserking mutant part, using the FleshBob samples. But the shitting and weirdly affectionate parts of the virus gotta come from somewhere else"
>>
>>4576486
We could get the shitting part from any virus that causes diarrhoea, but weirdly affectionate...
Is there anybody who's weirdly affectionate towards anything
>>
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Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4576489
Roll 2d100 to see if you or your sibling know anybody like that
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4576489
>>4576486

Employ Marian and the Bettys for the affection.

Also Luke just ate Chile-polte and has been in the restroom for several hours straight.
>>
Rolled 88, 28 = 116 (2d100)

>>4576494
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4576489
Toxoplasma gondii. Instead of rats, uninfected humans.
>>
Rolled 52, 60 = 112 (2d100)

>>4576494
>>4576495
>>
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>>4576497
Damn we don't know anybody, how sad
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4576505
How sad, we don't have anyone weirdly affectionate like how Shotasniffer is weirdly affectionate towards little boys...wait.
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>4576505

"Ok--- who's working on the bomb right now?"
>>
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>>4576509
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4576514
"Hey sis...can we get your DNA?"
>>
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>>4576516
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4576525
"For completely innocent non-virus reasons."
>>
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>>4576527
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4576534
"please"
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4576534

JUST. DO IT.
>>
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>>4576538
Your siblings are being weird again

"C'mon kiddo, you won't even feel a thing!" Your aunt chimes in
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4576540
Clearly they're joking.
>>
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>>4576544
"Yes. Of course. Jokes"
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4576547
"Now stand still while Ken prepares the syringe to take some DNA from you."
"Wait, what."
>>
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>>4576550
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4576556
Switch to Shadowboss Jr hunting for Texas while the siblings try to collect Shotasniffer's DNA.
Side note: Shotasniffer's afraid of needles
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4576556
Shotasniffer won't stand for it
it means sharing boys with others
can't have that
>>
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>>4576557
Damn I dind't know that, ya learn something new everyday
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>4576570
So did the siblings
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4576570
>>4576574
I think siblings learned pain
>>
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>>4576576
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4576578
let's just do mutant virus thing
simple is the best
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4576578
Now to shadowboss jr
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4576579

+1
>>
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>>4576581
"Report"

"Uh yeah, your husband is still fighting his mom to contain her, Boss. Doesn't look like either side is gonna give up anytime soon"

"Damnit, he's gonna miss dinner at this rate"
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4576591
feel sad and neglected
>>
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>>4576593
"I am now sad and neglected"

"uh, okay, boss"

"Inform my husband that he would require to buy me at least 5 tubs of ice cream when he gets back"

"But uh, boss, I can't get in there! Right in the middle of their battle, that'd be suicide!"

"Then you'd die for a good cause"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4576598
Now with dessert sorted out, check on kids and their activities.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4576598
>>4576599
Yeah, let's get to the viral bombs and all that.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4576598
>>4576599
Let's see the aftermath
>>
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>>4576599
*screams of pain and sounds of chaos*

"Oh Murderbones is visiting, how nice of her to spend time with the kids"
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4576603
"Ah well, back to finding Texas and beating him up."
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>4576603
Say hello to her, it's only polite
>>
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>>4576605
"Shoot at my children, will you...I will grind your bones into dust, Texas."
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>4576608
And she found him in the building next to the ceremony.
The one with all the dead children and camped by heroes and villains
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4576608
check your to do list
>>
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>>4576609
DUN DUN DUN


Also OP gotta leave for a bit, will continue later. Toodles.

updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
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>>4576613
thanks for bread OP, take care
we all have something which came up just last night
>>
OP went to get some poak buns.
>>
>>4577983

Op went to get some cigarettes
>>
>>4576613
he was never seen again
>>
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>>4578592
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4580447
dab on someone
uhhhh, dab on some janitorial staff
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4580447
"Come in Bob."
>>
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>>4580449
The door stays silent
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4580457
Lets check on Marian then.
>>
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>>4580459
Currently hiding under a table while his siblings deal with Shotasniffer
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4580462
Epic.
>>
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>>4580463
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4580465
flip table and say
"how the tables turn"
>>
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Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4580468
Roll 2d100 against the table

The table has a +10 bonus
>>
Rolled 56, 17 = 73 (2d100)

>>4580472
>>
Rolled 88, 75 = 163 (2d100)

>>4580472
Okay.
>>
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>>4580475
Sadly the table was too heavy and Marian only bumped his head against it
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4580480
Whats Bob up to?
>>
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>>4580482
Depends, which Bob are you asking about?
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4580486
Both.
>>
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>>4580490
And who is this "Both" character
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4580492
whatever can we just look at shotasniffer
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4580492
Both of my nuts.
>>
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>>4580500
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4580508
Back to plot.
>>
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>>4580511
>>
Threads dead see you later Op.
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4580522

One of the siblings has secret ninja skills that they didnt know they had, awakened in the heat of the moment to get Shotasniffer’s DNA
>>
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>>4580532
And WHO is it that gets these secret ninja powers? Roll a d10 before OP goes to sleep and continues next time

1. Marian
2. Ken
3. Jeanne
4. Chosen one
5. Rasputin
6. Betty
7. Luke
8. Olessa
9. Lilly
10. Quattro
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>4580535

nite OP
>>
Rolled 5 (1d10)

>>4580535
Nighty night.
>>
>>4580537
OFC the Chosen one gets Chosen.
>>
>>4580682
he does fit the role, being the sneakiest
>>
>>4580537
Well... that checks out
>>
>>4580535
Merry Christmas ya fucking animate anatomy.
>>
>>4580535
OP is the real ninja
>>
>>4580535

Merry Christmas, OP!!!!
>>
>>4583242
Cerry Mirstmas
>>
Merry Christmas Op. Hope you got everything you wanted.
>>
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>>4583360
ye
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4583370
nice. Santa Deniers btfo
>>
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>>4583382
Indeed, and since nobody's up, it's the holidays after all, imma go pass out by gorging on christmas food.

Happy Holidays
>>
>>4583386
Night! Enjoy OP
>>
>>4583387
Y-you too
>>
>>4583386

NoooOOOOO I MISSED THE THREAAADDDDD...

See you next time, OP!
>>
>>4583386
happy holidays
>>
>>4583386
damnit missed the timing, enjoy your holidays
>>
2 hours
>>
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>>4586769
hmm yes.

time
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>4586772
it's almost high noon
>>
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>>4586774
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4586776
not according to texas
>>
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>>4586777
Ah yes. His signature trick. Challenging people to a standoff at high noon. And shooting them in the face when the clock wasn't even anywhere near 12.

What an asshole.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4586784
"HOW DID THEY EVEN FIND ME"
>>
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>>4586786
"THIS SHOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE! I left no tracks! I didn't even decorate this nondescript office building with any stereotypical cowboy stuff! I don't even put my cowboy movies on speaker! Nobody should be able to find me! Unlesss...."

A. Extreme incompetence lead to a gap in the preventive measures
B. A mole, a turncoat, a traitor, a spy!
C. Other side literally has magic
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4586796
A+B+C
>>
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>>4586797
Of course! Texas has foolishly traveled here on horseback! In the middle of an urban city! And the horse was a spy for Shadowboss Jr! As it was a magic horse
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4586800
Also the suspicious amount of dead children near the building
>>
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>>4586802
That and he couldn't stop ranting about how "he actually only shot one kid to death. Once......in awhile" every or so hour
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4586809
Now back to the siblings.
"Ok Chosen One, you got the shot, now help me wake up my older brothers and sisters while Big Sis is going through her PTSD"
>>
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>>4586813
"WHAT?! WHY ME"

"Because you're the one with the super secret ninja powers"

"BASED ON WHAT EVIDENCE"
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4586815
All those sneak missions you did? Like that lab one recently?
>>
>>4586817
Also that island one where Ken was literally there to see him do his stuff
>>
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>>4586817
>>4586818
"You managed to keep me hidden for the entirety of the operation and pretended to be a spooky cave ghost the whole time"
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4586823
"THAT COULD BE ANYONE-"
"Also Lilly told me you doodled on her diary "KNIGHTS SUX" on page 45 without anyone noticing you come in her room that one time"
"SHE'S LYING IT WAS PAGE 54-"
>>
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>>4586824
"AHA!"

"FUCK"

"Now get in there and shove the needle into her"
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4586825
"FINE, BUT SOMEONE HAS TO DISTRACT HER"
"Rasputin and Auntie Murderbones are doing pretty well by dodging and spouting out radical words."
>>
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>>4586826
"COWABUNGA, DUDES"
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4586831
Do your job Chosen One, Lilly and Ken can wake the others up from their involuntary naps
>>
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>>4586833
Yeah! How hard can it be?! You can do itt!
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4586835
Do it because no one else can
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4586835
Just think of it as another stealth mission
>>
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>>4586837
"I'm starting to think Dad picked me to have the title of "Chosen One" for a reason."
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4586841
"You sure it wasn't because he really liked Kung Pow?"
"Then he would have named me Betty instead"
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4586841
Lets see how the Astro hell wizard and his son are doing.
>>
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>>4586844
"FATHER! NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Forgive me my son. The Intergalactic Coalition has foiled my plans. By detonating the sun of the star system, they have consigned billions to death and destroyed the Chaos Portal from which I was to unleash the might of the 666 Hell Dimensions unto the universe. Our army lay in waste as the Chrome Plated Death Warriors storm our fortress. This is the only way to keep you safe."
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>4586847
Wow very interesting, let's go back to CO.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4586847
And then he gets attacked by 2 skeletons fighting each other
>>
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>>4586850
Unfortunately the budget just ran out
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4586852
Quick, scam a guy by pretending to be an investment banker or something!
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4586852
At least Steve died earlier.
>>4586849
>>
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>>4586854
In the midst of battle, Chosen One has managed to sneak onto the ceiling of the meeting room. He is now above where Shotasniffer is raging against Rasputin and Auntie Murderbones. Naturally, all 3 of them has not noticed him
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4586861
Do cool ninja shit.
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4586861
All he has to do is jump down, take the DNA, pass it to Rasputin, then run for cover.
>>
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Rolled 495 (1d1000)

>>4586863
Roll 2d1000
>>
>>4586872
Okay.
>>
Rolled 820, 877 = 1697 (2d1000)

>>4586874
Oops.
>>
Rolled 26, 51 = 77 (2d100)

>>4586872
h
>>
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Rolled 490 (1d1000)

>>4586878
Swiftly, the Chosen One moves in, undetected. He is almost there! So close now! Roll 2d1000
>>
Rolled 247, 890 = 1137 (2d1000)

>>4586891
Okay.
>>
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>>4586892
>>
>>4586906
Did it work?
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4586906
Meanwhile at Conspiracy HQ.
"Hey boss we found a weird child in sector 26."
>>
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>>4586908
"You can just call it the Bathroom, Jim"

"YEAH WELL MAYBE I'M JUST KEEPING WITH PROTOCOL"

"We're under new management, Jim. We don't need to call rooms "sectors" anymore"

"WELL THEN MAYBE I'M JUST AVERSE TO CHANGE"
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>4586928
Punch Jim in the face and check if Shotasniffer is okay
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4586928
"Hey Tom there's a skeleton on the Tv."
>>
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>>4586932
"Tell it to get the fuck down from there then"
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>4586936
Back to our successful extraction of SS's dna.
>>
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>>4586941
"I did it guys! I got the sample!"

"Good job Chosen One! Now we need to pacify her too!"

"....oh ye"

Shotasniffer is still awake and angry
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4586957
Time for a convenient sponsorship from Jeoff's Door emporium
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
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>>4586962
"C'MON DOWN AND GET YOUR VERY OWN DOOR TODAY! AND GET A FREE COPY OF PERSONA 3!"
>>
>>4586976
Wow! What a bargain.
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4586976

AUNT MURDERBONES HAS A CONVENIENT TRANQUILIZER GAS BOMB...
>>
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>>4586984
REMEMBER KIDS! CHEMICAL WEAPONS ARE TOTALLY RADICAL
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4587013

Shotasniffer faceplants from the tranquilizer bomb... as do several other siblings cause Aunty Murderbones forgot to warn them (whoopsies)
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4587013
Roll time.
>>
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Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4587020
Depends,

Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 9, 55 = 64 (2d100)

>>4587025

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljwUlY9WW1I
>>
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>>4587028
"Whoopsies"

And so the skellies went sleep sleep

And so will OP. THread will continue when it continues later woooooo

updates: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4587036
Wake up skeletons
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>4590650

WAKEY WAKEY EGGS N BAKEY!!!

How many skellies got caught up in the gas blast?
>>
>>4590655
Unknown because OP's post was eaten by himself
>>
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>>4590650
>>4590655
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4590708
Pretty much all of them except Rasputin (mask) and Lilly (short)
>>
File: 1.png (6 KB, 500x500)
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>>4590711
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4590713
Also Murderbones (immunity from one too many sleep bombs)
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4590713
>>4590715

RADICAL!!
>>
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>>4590718
She's built up an immunity due to getting high from her own supply

"TUBULAR"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4590719
Wonder if that's one of the reasons why your dad doesn't like her.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4590719

Ah, well, let's get our scientists on this virus thingy pronto.
>>
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>>4590720
FLAAASHBACK

"Goddamnit Murderbones"

"Broooooooo, taaaaake a chilllll pillllllll"
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4590727
Lets go do some science.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4590727
"YOU'RE NOT MY SISTER, YOU'RE JUST A COUSIN"
>>4590729
>>
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>>4590729
>>4590732
"yeeeaaaaaa, let'ssss do some scieneceeeee. Let's test how much gas does it take to get a skeleton hiiiigh. C'mon cuz, scoot over here and chilllll wiiith meeeeh"

"Pass"
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4590734
Back to the fucking present now, Lets do some sconce.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>4590734
Back to present where we're waking up our scientists who are apparently in a compromising position
>>
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>>4590737
"Don't look, Lilly"
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4590740
Remind yourself that you're supposed to punish Ken.
Then get out the full review of SRAT 3 by Marian.
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4590740

The (quarantined) test subjects are responding magnificently.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4590740
Look anyway.
>>
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>>4590743
"Report"

"Uh yeah. Virus development is going well. They're going berserk and shitting themselves, as planned. As soon as Shotasniffer's samples get delivered down here, we can start on integrating the weirdly affectionate part in"
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4590752
I've thought of idea, lets develop addictive videogame so humanity will suffer from wasting time
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4590752
Also some kid suddenly teleported in and now those cultist guys are praying to him as the second coming
>>
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>>4590754
"What?"

"Yeah, some kid teleported in so the cultists we got from the Ancient Evil is now worshiping him"
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4590753

+1
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4590759
What?
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>4590759
Do not tell that to my sister
>>4590753
So basically we're making them overweight otakus
>>
>>4590763
yes
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4590759
"Also the shit seems to be alive."
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4590763

Supporting maximum doki doki vid-NYA

Who will design it?
>>
File: 1.png (65 KB, 500x500)
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>>4590761
"YEah, kid's just popped outta nowhere. Now the cultists are calling him their messiah."
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>4590768
NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII?
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4590768
>>4590763
>>4590765
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4590768
Lets check on Marian.
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4590768

VIDYA.

VIDYA.

V

I

D

Y

A


Plus, if we take over popular media... no one will think to question us... in regards to that, also have a few skellies infiltrate Hollywood to make skellie propoganda films. We could even have them start a whole studio!
>>
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>>4590771
"Well just keep that from Shotasniffer then"

"Oh and uh, another thing, Rasputin"

"What?"

"The shit that the infected shits out, it coalesces and turned into a mutant"

"......"

"Kinda like a weaker version of the Fleshbob mutants"

".........."

"Except made out of shit"
>>
Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>4590779
let's nuke this project and act like it never happened in the first place
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4590779
>>4590773
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4590779
Better stand well clear before we activate it then.
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4590779

Ok-- destroy the shitbobs and begin loading the bombs in preparation for the festival. Make sure we don't mess this up this time.
>>
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>>4590782
"OH and the shitblobs have started talking.....they're demanding citizen rights"
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4590787
what have we done
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4590787
Lets just do the mission thing.
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4590787
We've gone too far, they're becoming POLITICAL.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4590787

Keep the shitblobs in quarantine. Blow them up
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4590787
>>4590791
This calls for the guidance of THE AMAZINGLY NEARLY-FULLY JEWISH GHOST THAT IS JOHN CENA
>>
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>>4590790
"Right, time to spring our trap at your award ceremony, sis. Let's go"

"hmmm......nubile...young boys......mmmmmm"

"Well now that's a problem"
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>4590799
Why not you go scout the ceremony Lilly
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>4590799
Ignore it, Also get the mystery child so we may interrogate it.
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4590799
go quickly while I hold her down
>>
File: 1.png (8 KB, 500x500)
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>>4590802
"Lilly. Watch over our sleeping siblings while I go check on whatever the hell's going on down in the labs. If big sis wakes up, gimme a call, okay?"
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>4590808
Time to wake up our siblings for the award ceremony
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>4590808

+1

wake em up
>>
File: 1.png (7 KB, 500x500)
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>>4590809
Alright Lilly, what's your big brain plan to wake up the skellies?
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4590813
"Whack them with a sword in the hilt maybe?"
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4590813
Powerbomb them.
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4590813

Airhorn!!!
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 500x500)
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>>4590814
hmmm yes, smacking them with one your swords...
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4590820
The one that grows of course.
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4590820

DO IT!
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>4590820
>>4590821
>>4590822
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
10 KB
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>>4590824
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4590828
Slam that jam.
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>4590828
WHAM
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4590828

WAKEEEEYYYYY WAKEEYYYYYY

UUUUUURRRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHH
>>
File: 1.png (13 KB, 500x500)
13 KB
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Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>4590830
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 53, 96 = 149 (2d100)

>>4590833
nyeh
>>
Rolled 45, 9 = 54 (2d100)

>>4590833
Okay.
>>
Rolled 3, 46 = 49 (2d100)

>>4590833
Kersplat
>>
File: 1.png (10 KB, 500x500)
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>>4590834
>>
>>4590837
nothing beats a good wham
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4590837
>>4590838
nyeh
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4590837
>>4590841
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
11 KB
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>>4590842
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>4590843
literally woke up everyone
>>
File: 1.png (11 KB, 500x500)
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>>4590844
"You're grounded"
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>4590845
Lets check on good ol Bob.
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4590845
Awwww.
>>4590847
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>4590845
Oh no, duration not specified
>>
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>>4590848
Behold, a man named Bob. he's about to eat a chicken
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4590850
The other good ol Bob.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4590850
eat the chicken
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4590850
Chicken becomes alive
>>
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>>4590851
Oh that one? That's the chicken
>>
>>4590861
Chicken Bob becomes alive and strangles human Bob
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4590861
>>4590863
>>
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>>4590864
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4590866
Lets check on conspiracy twat Bob.
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4590866
Back to Bobby, being the "star attraction" of the ceremony.
>>
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>>4590868
"Rasputin hasn't called in a while. Must not have any work planned. Great for me though, more time for vidya"
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4590871
He's playing with a ninja
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4590871
Revel that he is a skeleton who's defining trait is his missing jaw.
>>
>>4590873
what
>>
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>>4590873
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4590875
Bob: "who stole my clothe-"
Rasputin: "Why are you in your pants"
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4590875
"Wait Bob your a skeleton too? Also why is your head soo tiny."
>>
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>>4590876
"Wh--Why am I in my pants? The hell does that mean?"

"YEah I dunno either"
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>4590879
back to playing vidya
whatcha playing
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4590879
Real question is why are the shitbobs being political
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4590879
Revel that Bob is having a fevor dream, then return to island shenanigans.
>>
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>>4590881
"You're playing like shit, that's what you're playing"

"FUCK YOU NINJA"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4590886
>>4590884
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4590886
Rasputin is behind for real this time
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4590886
Fuck your minmaxers, if I want to give a gun to swordsman I WILL AND YOU WILL NOT STOP ME
>>
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>>4590888
"PRAISE BE TO THE MESSIAH!"

"YOU WILL LEAD US NOW THAT THE ANCIENT EVIL IS GONE"

"USHER IN AN AGE OF DARKNESS, GREAT ONE"
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>4590895
Use your expertise in child-rearing, Rasputin
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4590895
Punt a bitch
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4590895
>>4590899
>>
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>>4590900
"I need to have a word with your "messiah". Go back to your rooms"
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4590901
Retrieve punted child for interrogation.
>>
>>4590901
>>4590902
This messiah needs education on what happened to Charles Manson, especially the part where he went bald
>>
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>>4590902
Full disclosure, he only punted one of the cultists.

BUT ANYWAY TO THE RASPUTIN CAVE....WHICH WILL BE...LATER. CUZ NOW OP GOTTA GO. SEE YA ANONS

updates be here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4590909
thanks for bread, OP
and while late - happy new years
have a good one
>>
24 hours passed
>>
Also an hour has passed since Bobby was captured by the heroes
>>
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>>4595027
Based on what evidence
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>4595031
Bobby REEEEEEEing for an hour straight
>>
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>>4595033
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4595036
Let's go back to Lilly being grounded while the rest of the siblings get ready for the ceremony...which is next door.
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4595036
Lets check on nobody.
>>
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>>4595039
This is clear opression
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4595050
Call Bob but not skeleton Bob because skeleton Bob does not exist.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4595050
Sulk at how they're getting all the fun while you're sitting alone for waking them up from a deep slumber
>>
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>>4595051
"What? How did you get this number?"
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>4595066
Rasputin gave it to me, also it's literally in your namecard
>>
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>>4595067
"Anyway, anything I can help you with then?"
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>4595075
pick me up because my siblings grounded me for helping them wake up
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4595075
>>4595078
Also get me some ice cream
>>
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>>4595078
"Uhhhhhh, depends on if you can assure my safety or not"
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4595082
fire cream
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4595084
The buildings are like literally next to each other and all you have to do is say you know Rasputin and they'll just let you off
>>4595082
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4595084
Maybe, Depends on the kind of junk food you can acquire before you pick me up.
>>
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>>4595089
"Oh uh, sure, what would you like?"
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>4595097
Ice cream. Lots of it. Of every flavor.
>>
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Rolled 915 (1d1000)

>>4595102
"A-Alright. I'll be right over"

Roll 1d1000 for Bob's success rate
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4595109
>>
Rolled 851 (1d1000)

>>4595109
>>4595111
better bring an entire group
>>
Rolled 560 (1d1000)

>>4595109
Okay.
>>
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>>4595112
"Sorry sir. We've JUST ran out of every single flavor in existence. There's only Vanilla left, will that be okay?"

"FUCK"
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4595119
Let's move on to the actual ceremony while the conspiracy, ninjas and cultists search every ice cream shop for flavors
>>
Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>4595119
What the fuck? Who took all your ice cream!? Its goddamn winter!
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>4595119
What's Rasputin up to?
>>
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>>4595123
"We have a strict customer confidentiality policy sir. Now would you like your vanilla ice cream in a tub or in square containers?"
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>4595125
"Square please."
>>
>>4595125
Search every ice cream shop for flavors, we need those flavors!
Also:
"Square containers, please"
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4595125
Just give me as much as you have left, maybe I can make up for lack of quality with quantity
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>4595125
>>4595130
>>
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>>4595132
Taking this option, Bob had to also buy a truck to transport the frozen treats.

And sorry to cut this short, but my internet's shitting out. Will coontinue tomorrow instead.

updates be herE:https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>4595143
I sure hope that truck can swim like pic related because I'm assuming Lilly and everyone else is on Skeleton Island right now.
>>
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i maek post
>>
>>4597224
Contemplate your use of a cardboard cutout chair to hide the fact you have no lower body nor a lower torso
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>4597285
>>4597224

+1
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4597224
That paladin poking his head out of the desk was he giving a blowjob or a buttjob to the skeleton?
>>
>>4597224
he made it
>>
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>>4597293
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4598450
>>4595143
Let's take that icecream over to Lilly and hope we don't run into anything dangerous.
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4598450
>>4598452
Or get stuck in queue
>>
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Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>4598454
Roll 2d100 to not run into anything dangerous. Or get stuck in queue
>>
Rolled 49, 6 = 55 (2d100)

>>4598461
It's a hero ceremony, of course there's going to be a queue of trucks carrying food
>>
Rolled 87, 16 = 103 (2d100)

>>4598461
>>4598464
why you rolling so bad, nigga
ROLL BETTER LIKE THIS
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
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>>4598468
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4598470
damn, we stuck in traffic
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>4598470
>>4598472
yep
>>
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>>4598472
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4598483
Activate the truck's wings and jets to fly outta there
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>4598483
there's like too many trucks
>>
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>>4598486
"Life fucking sucks huh"

"Shut up"
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4598488
>>4598484
>>
Rolled 69 (1d100)

>>4598488
>>4598484
>>
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>>4598490
>>4598491
"You sure this truck even has that feature? The guy that sold us this didn't mentioned it"

"Just start pressing buttons damnit"
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4598492
START MADLY PRESSING BUTTONS
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>4598492
press the "BIG HONK" button
>>
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>>4598493
BUT WHICH ONE THO
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4598500
UH THE SANIC ONE
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4598500
>>4598502
gotta go fast
>>
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Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4598502
OH SHIT ROLL 2d100
>>
Rolled 15, 73 = 88 (2d100)

>>4598505
GOTTA GO FAST
>>
Rolled 1, 23 = 24 (2d100)

>>4598505
Insert youtube url to doctor who theme here
>>
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>>4598506
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>4598511
crash through the wall where Lilly is being held
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>4598511
Right through the entrance
>>
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>>4598514
MEANWHILE. AT THE CONVENTION CENTER WHERE THE CEREMONY IS BEING HELD.

SHOTASNIFFER, BEING THE GREAT HERO THAT SHE IS, HAS LENT THE HEROES SOME USSR TROOPS TO HELP WITH THE SECURITY DETAIL

"The hell is that"
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>4598517
BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4598517
"AAAAAAAAAAA WE'RE GOING TOO FAST"
"Oh, another ice cream truck."
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4598517
Roll to not accidentally murder a bunch of innocent USSR troops, literally
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4598520
ROLL 2D100
>>
Rolled 99, 49 = 148 (2d100)

>>4598522
DO IT ON PURPOSE
>>
Rolled 33, 55 = 88 (2d100)

>>4598522
whoops
>>
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>>4598522
Captcha ate my pic
>>
Rolled 43, 37 = 80 (2d100)

>>4598522
GAG
>>
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>>4598523
OH FUCK

This IS a superhero convention, after all
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>4598538
HIT THE GUN BUTTON NOW, BOB
>>
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Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>4598541
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK"


ROLL 2d100
>>
Rolled 68, 27 = 95 (2d100)

>>4598542
AW SHIT NIGGAAAAAAA
>>
Rolled 40, 67 = 107 (2d100)

>>4598542
it just produces a party gun
>>
Rolled 59, 28 = 87 (2d100)

>>4598542
The time has come
>>
Rolled 96, 98 = 194 (2d100)

>>4598542
IT MUST BE IN THERE SOMEWHERE
>>
>>4598546
NICE FUCKING ROLL DUDE
>>
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>>4598546
"MACHINE GUN ONLINE!"

"OH NO! THAT THING HAS WEAPONS! STAY BEHIND ME, SKELETON MAN!"

"what is happening"
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>4598549
SHOOT THE ICE CREAM
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4598549
START BLASTING THE HEROES
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4598549
FIRE
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>4598549
Let's rip 'em up
>>
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Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>4598554
ROLL 2D100
>>
Rolled 81, 17 = 98 (2d100)

>>4598562
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT
>>
Rolled 92, 93 = 185 (2d100)

>>4598562
nice job ruining the plan
>>
Rolled 38, 70 = 108 (2d100)

>>4598562
If it jams I swear!
>>
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>>4598566
The hero blocks the bullets! But some of it still got through and hit the USSR soldier!
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>4598571
DAMN, HIT THE SKULL BUTTON NEXT
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>4598571
But can the hero block a concentrated radiation beam?
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>4598571
OH NO
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4598571
GET THE NOT!KRYPTONITE ROUNDS
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4598571
Nothing quite like shooting your own allies in the heat of battle
Well at least you can claim that you're on different sides and remain undercover.
>>
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>>4598573
"Do we even have one?"

"MAYBE. Start looking!"

"Also, uh, you sure we should be attacking the skeletons?"
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>4598581
LOOK FOR A RADIATION BUTTON
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>4598581
Weren't we supposed to deliver ice cream?
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>4598581
>>4598583
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4598581
"Let's just say he died in Iraq"
>>
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Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>4598582
Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 24, 35 = 59 (2d100)

>>4598590
Uhhh
>>
Rolled 53, 87 = 140 (2d100)

>>4598590
BOOM
>>
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Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>4598593
RADIATION BEAM ONLINE, ROLL 2D100
>>
Rolled 37, 60 = 97 (2d100)

>>4598597
Waaait, don't superheroes like at those?
>>
Rolled 11, 3 = 14 (2d100)

>>4598597
inb4 hulk out
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4598597
wait what the fuck are we even doing at this point-
>>
Rolled 9, 12 = 21 (2d100)

>>4598597
Pew
>>
Rolled 42, 39 = 81 (2d100)

>>4598597
>>4598602
>>
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>>4598600
"Uh yeah, what if this just gonna power him up, Bob?"
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>4598616
Damn, good point. Just shoot ice cream at him instead. He'll get a brainfreeze and drop dead.
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>4598616
>>4598617
>>
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>>4598617
"But what if he likes vanilla"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>4598623
He looks like a strawberry dude. Don't worry about it.
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4598623
then it's a distraction
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4598623
"Then he's a basic bitch"
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>4598623
Think its too late to make them think that its all just a misunderstanding and deliver ice cream to Lilly?
>>
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Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4598628
"Welp, then here goes nothing then"

Roll 2d100
>>
Rolled 86, 87 = 173 (2d100)

>>4598636
Maybe he's lactose intolerant, we never know
>>
Rolled 26 (1d200)

>>4598636
SCREAM "FREE ICE CREAM"
>>
Rolled 95, 12 = 107 (2d100)

>>4598636
>>4598638
>>
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>>4598639
*click*

".....OH SHIT IT'S JAMMED"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH"
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>4598643
THROW THE ICE CREAM AT HIM
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>4598643
Lilly breaks out of being grounded to save Bob
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>4598643
THIS WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA, THROW ICE CREAM BUCKETS AT HIM, MAYBE HE HAS DEPRESSION OR LACTOSE INTOLERANCE
>>
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Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>4598646
Does she?

Roll 2d100

The will of the universe has a +20 bonus
>>
Rolled 95, 95 = 190 (2d100)

>>4598659
She wants that ice cream, of course she does
>>
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>>4598660
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>4598670
BOB AND FRIEND, RUN THE FUCK AWAY; YOU'RE RUINING THE PLAN
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4598670
>>4598672
ALSO IF SHE FINDS OUT IT'S JUST PLAIN VANILLA
>>
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>>4598673
It is too late. Not only did you not bring her the flavors she asked for. She had to break out herself. And you also fired on one of her older siblings.

But mostly it's the ice cream.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>4598681
"ANGRY LITTLE KID ALERT" "BRING OUT ALL THE ICE CREAM YOU HAVE"
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>4598681
DON'T WORRY LILLY, WE CAN MIX IT WITH SYRUP AND IT WILL BECOME ANY FLAVOR YOU WANT!!
>>
>>4598686
>SYRUP
STOP MAKING IT WORSE
>>
>>4598688
In my defense, your roll was, like, the worst
>>
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>>4598686
"Aight Bob. it's been nice knowing ya. I'll attend your funeral later"

"w-wha...EY! COME BACK HERE YOU COWARD"
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>4598695
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4598695
Freeze up in despair, Bob. You've hit the end of the road.
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4598695
Think fast
>>
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Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>4598696
"A BLANK POST?! THAT DOESN'T HELP, ANON"

Roll 2d100

Lilly has +30 bonus
>>
Rolled 30, 30 = 60 (2d100)

>>4598701
I will be honest dog, I've no clue what you can do, so I dunno, try to unlock latent magic powers and summon a bunch of ice cream of right flavor
>>
Rolled 42, 84 = 126 (2d100)

>>4598701
call for more ice cream
>>
Rolled 93, 52 = 145 (2d100)

>>4598701
Perhaps a wall of depleted uranium will materialize between Bob and Lilly
>>
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>>4598707
Perhaps. Perhaps.

Sadly didn't happen and Bob got rekt.

RIP
>>
>>4598710
F
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>4598710
Maybe, depends on whether the heroes can give her ice cream
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>4598711
>>
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>>4598714
Yes. A story for another time, my children.
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4598720
So it is written
>>
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>>4598723
Indeed, indeed
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>4598730
Lilly's behind you
>>
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>>4598731
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>4598735
While Bob, assorted heroes and skeletons is scrambling to get more ice cream to calm Lilly down, go back to Shotasniffer and the rest
>>
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>>4598738
"So, let's go over this once more, for clarity. What's the game plan?"
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>4598746

drop the bomb in the most populated part of the event via aircraft
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>4598746
Well, we're supposed to detonate a gas bomb that would transform everyone into weirdly affentionate monsters that shit sentient poop...I guess.
Also, we should do this after we collect everything and quietly leave.
>>
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>>4598750
"Ah so, you're gonna attend the award ceremony like nothing's going on. Accept the awards, then leave the bomb as a going away present?"
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4598755
Pretty much, very smooth, definitely not going to be interrupted by something stupid
>>
Rolled (1d00)

>>4598755

Ye— but someone painted a smiley Face on the bomb. >>4598757
also this
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4598761

My roll
>>
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>>4598765
The hell? Who could have done this?! Do we have an intruder?
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>4598772
OH SHIT, this must be the work of the fearsome infiltrator Sumer S. Pidd, known infrequently by the full name Sumfing Stu Pidd
>>
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>>4598774
Took a lot of brainpower to come up with that one huh
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4598779
I don't get that joke, lets kick the thing
>>
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Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>4598785
Roll 2d100 to find 'em first
>>
Rolled 37, 5 = 42 (2d100)

>>4598788
Fucking cyber-ghost ninjas around here
>>
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>>4598789
Fucker's way too sneaky
>>
Rolled 62, 69 = 131 (2d100)

>>4598788

Was probably Marian
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>4598795

>>4598796 <---refer to this post-- but let's get that bomb rolling!!!!111
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>4598795
This bomb may need to be de-defused
>>
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>>4598797
"Oh fuck off, why would it be me?"
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>4598803
Got used to blaming you for most things
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>4598803

You have a tendency to do stupid shit at the most random times-- why wouldn't it be you?!
>>
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>>4598807
"C'mon! I caused like,only ONE robopocalypse!"
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>4598812

"That's more than enough robopocalypses than we would've had... NOW IF WE MESS THIS UP, YOU'RE ON CLEANING DUTY FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR!!!

Also no internet."
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>4598812
Causing one potentially world threatening accident is enough Marian! Now go and make some anti-stealth robot!
>>
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>>4598818
"Fine! And I'll be VINDICATED when my robot capture the intruder!"
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>4598819
Not if you call it Vindicator! Then you shall get a "good boy" medal!
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>4598819
>>4598821

This-- and chicken tendies!!!
>>
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>>4598822
That aside, the time for the award ceremony is getting closer and closer. When the time comes. Just act cool, accept the award and make a generic speech about heroics or something, to keep up the ruse.
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>4598827
Right, should we get a special outfit? Or should we pretend its like everyday business cuz we don't want to look vain, but at the same time we don't want to look too indifferent
>>
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>>4598829
"The heroes probably are just gonna be wearing their usual heroing getup anyway, secret identities and all that. So you most likely don't have to gussy it up and dress formal."
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>4598837

IS IT TIME TO LOAD THE AIRCRAFT?!?!
>>
>>4598840

wait a sec. I'm dumb. forgot we were leaving it right in the middle of the crowd-- let's get rolling anyways.
>>
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>>4598840
"Yes. On your order we'll load the bomb onto the USSR War Blimp. We'll have it hover above the convention center in Stealth mode until you signal the bomb drop"
>>
>>4598851

yessssss... who's on zeppelin duty and who's going in the event?
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>4598853
>>4598851
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>4598851
Are we entirely sure the bomb hasn't been tampered with besides having a smiley face drawn on it?
>>
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>>4598856
"Well, by default it's gonna be me and Betty accompanying you. Barring the handful of USSR troops you already lent to the venue as security. The rest will be up on the blimp acting as mission control and also backup comes emergencies"
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>4598862

Okay then. So we can avoid any stupidly convenient incidents, let's make sure to check the bomb for tampering.
>>
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Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>4598875
Roll 2d100 to check bomb

Bomb has +20 bonus
>>
Rolled 9, 54 = 63 (2d100)

>>4598880
Don't betray me now!
HOW'S THAT VINDICATOR COMING ALONG
>>
Rolled 29, 25 = 54 (2d100)

>>4598880

LUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
>>
>>4598885

SOMEONE ELSE ROLL
>inb4 USSR gets fucked by disease
>>
Rolled 25, 99 = 124 (2d100)

>>4598880
A bit closer to heaven
>>
is OP kill?
>>
>>4598923
actually yes

OP passed out
>>
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So no foul play is found. Probably,

next time ceremony n shit wooo

updatesL:
https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>4598953
Christ nigga, get some sleep



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