Your name is David "Gunny" Rockefeller, no relation.A veteran of the united states marine corps, you find yourself in a far-out situation after an all-too-close encounter of the third kind!In the last thread, you captured a local pirate who had been harassing the station's de-facto rulers, Sadia Corporation. After capturing both him and his ship, you made a raid on the Dark Star gang that had tried to kill you, and encountered a powerful foe.Having killed a huge number of Dark Star's goons and defeated "Stonebuilt Gron" you captured his right hand man and made it all worth your while.But you also brought a new member onto the team! Sanig, an old Grey weaponsmith who's all on his own for some reason, and desperate to keep working.Between him and Kyla, you spent some time and money improving your ship and developing a prototype skinsuit that's going to be a part of something bigger.Still tidying up loose ends, you planned to fix up Laggard's captured ship and sell it for a tidy profit, but that was going to require a bit of time.So you decided, with nothing better to do and your stomach screaming at you for a proper meal, that you'd go hunting and stock up on some hard to find animal meat.And that's where you find yourself now, on the surface of an alien world, with several large bird carcasses at hand!>Last Thread: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/4866191/
>>4900033It takes several hours for you to gut, pluck and prepare the four birds the two of you killed.During that time, Cylia brings you several samples of fragrant wood, and you select the one you think will taste best.Cylia tosses the wood chips into the medical fab and extracts all the water from them, leaving them dry and ready for smoking."This is weird.""What is it?""I... can't seem to find it's liver. It should be around here, but... wait a minute. No way, is this it?"A small brown lump, about the size of a walnut. That's all it's got for a liver. It's literally the size of a chicken's liver!"Huh. I guess it really doesn't need to process many toxins, even in it's own body. Why do you seem so upset, though?""The liver is the second best part, right next to the skin! These birds are huge, so i was hoping i'd get a lot. Damn it...""David, you can't eat organ meat. It's really bad for you. Apparently it doesn't taste good, either.""I can't even begin to describe how wrong you are. Organ meat has a wide variety of uses, as you'll soon see.""It's full of toxins! You're not supposed to... uhg, nevermind. You aren't even listening, are you?""Nope."With a bit of help from Cylia, two of the birds are prepared and go over the fire with a heap of smoke to slow-roast.After that, you get to work cutting up the remaining two into breasts, wings, thighs, feet and gizzard.You set up a wire frame over a second, hotter fire and slap a cast iron skillet down on top of it."What's that stuff in the jar?""Something you... wonderful... aliens have been missing out on, and that i only recently managed to perfect. It's butter.""Never heard of it.""Yeah. First i had to figure out how to make cream out of blue milk, and let me tell you it took a couple of tries. Once i had cream though, it all came together. Literally.""Okay, so what is it?""Pure milk fat. It's much easier to produce when you have some to start off with, but it's the only acceptable alternative to lard for frying. Gotta keep the temperature a little low, though.""That's... pure fat? All of it? David, you're filling up the whole pan!""That's right. We're gonna let it swim in the grease. Go get the flour, two dodo eggs and a packet of blue milk. We're doing this.""I don't see how all that fits together, but alright..."You can hardly hold yourself back. You dip and dredge the "chicken", then drop it straight into the hot bluemilk butter. It crackles and pops violently at first before settling down, and the aroma is...Well, you might need a change of pants before you can eat.You set the chicken off to the side and drop in another bunch to begin cooking, taking time to rotate your smoked birds while it's going.When the second batch comes off, you put the first batch back into the oil for a second frying, really crisping it up.
>>4900703FRIED SPACE CHICKEN TIME
>>4900703>Gunny's Alabama Fried DodoNice.
>>4900703KFC but in space
>>4900703Considering how disappointing the hunt has been, the meat better be good.
>>4900815You can even hear him pulling the trigger and it clicking
>>4900703So when Cylia starts to find out what a food orgasm is, were totally getting a patent for this right?
Stop bullying dodos, it's not their fault they grew up with no predators. Dodos were beautiful, elegant creatures from a more civilized time.
>>4900864Then we colonized their tasty asses. Because if they were so beautiful then why did they have to be so finger licking good?
>>4900866Everyone knows the more beautiful and elegant a bird is the tastier it is. European barbarians took advantage of the dodos' kind and playful nature and ate them all, it was their silphium, and now the most beautiful and smart bird in the world is dead.
>>4900878It was their fault for being tastier than their greatness could handle.
>>4900878If they were so smart, why didn't they invent a fence to keep the undesirables out?Checkmate Dodotheists.
I wonder if we can make breadcrumbs...
>>4900904Pretty sure we made bread, so yes. we should have crumbs around.
>>4900882cope>>4900891To kill a tree is to go against all that a dodo stands for: living in harmony with nature.Dodos are naturally friendly and even if they were needlessly slaughtered by barbarians they don't blame them and simply wish for them to better themselves.
>>4901146Thus leading to dodo extinction. Good riddance.
>>4901146I want to cum inside an anthro Dodo
>>4901146So what you're saying is a dodo is dumb as fuck. The natural order encompasses life and death. Creation and destruction. Harmony is a myth. A lie touted by feckless soup-bags who could never truly cut it in the harsh uncaring reality of the circle of life.Indeed, the Dodotheist is a sad being.
>>4901175Could we accidentally stumble upon a Savage Dodo Woman?
>>4901190God I hope so. Jokes aside I really want one of these as a pet. We can make omelettes, cakes, desserts, and other baked goodies. Imagine a baked Dodo meat pie, fuck I'm hungry.
>>4901219We can clone sheep but we can't clone dodos. What a shit world we live in.
>>4900703But you aren't done yet.You pull out a second pan and a ladle. Taking some of the butter/fat mix, you pour it into the second pan along with some finely ground flour and a pinch of salt and MSG.Just as the flour begins to brown, you start adding blue milk. It's... well, you'll be honest, it doesn't look appetizing. It looks like gravy with blue food coloring mixed in, but it smells right.Just a shame you're missing pepper, but it can't be helped.Next, you reveal the second item you've been working on. Unscrewing the lid on a small jar, you reveal a rough yellow powder. "What's that supposed to be?""This, my dear lady, is the beginnings of something wonderful."In reality, it's powdered edel root. After boiling the root for an hour, you removed the hard, tough skin and grated up the root, then removed the water by letting it sit in the vacuum of space while you were on the way here.The freeze dried root powder can now be quickly reconstituted into mashed potatoes!You mix cool water, blue milk and butter into them and begin heating it up over the fire, adding in heavy cream to cool it down once it's done.The resulting mashed potatoes aren't half bad! They look like ass, but the taste is as on-point as you could hope for.Cylia has long since walked away from your cooking area as she clearly couldn't hold it together once you started frying, but you call her back now that the first bit of food is ready."Cyl! It's ready, come and get it!"She immediately rushes out of the bushes and straight towards the pile of chicken, but you just barely manage to stop her in time. She slams into your arm pretty hard."OOF! Hey, come ON already!" "Woah there, cowgirl! Hold on. You gotta eat it like this."Her eyes follow your hands like a dog that sees a treat. You take a drumstick from the pile and dip it right into the mashed potatoes, leaving a wad of it on there for her to bite into.And then you hand it to her.Unlike before she eyeballs it slowly, and then takes a tentative bite.Her eyes instantly fly open, only to squint back down as her eyes roll back into her head. She trembles and falls to her knees, drumstick still firmly gripped in hand.Her grunts, groans and squirming almost seem... erotic."Holy shit. I figured it'd be good, but there's no way it's THAT good, right?"You aren't sure how long it's been since Cylia has had real meat, but for you it's been about a month. Your cravings are pretty bad, so maybe you'll end up like this too?You haven't actually tried a piece yet, and now you're unsure about it.But, Cylia's already taken her second bite and doesn't seem to be slowing down, so...Drumstick in hand, you give it a dip in the mashed potato and take a bite.It's... woah, holy shit! The meat itself is really, REALLY good! It's like the A5 Wagyu of bird meat! What the hell?!I mean, it still needs seasoning, but there's actual fat and marbling throughout the meat... it's absolutely dripping with juices!
>>4901250So they aren't just alien dodos. They are p-r-e-m-i-u-m alien dodos.
>>4901169Absolutely no respect for the brave and majestic dodo, sad.>>4901175Degenerate.>>4901186So sad that one would not care for life, I bet you throw away your food instead of making a compost bin.>>4901250The majestic space dodo shows its supremacy over all other forms of poultry!
>>4901250You're only making these little bastards more and more worth keeping around.Now we gotta find another ship to turn into a chicken coop.
>>4901250I really like the idea of a dodo farmAlso how manx kilos could we take with us?
>>4901250What the fuck, I didn't knew Cylia was having an Ortolan
>>4901278I think we could probably use them and the rest of the ecosystem) for terraforming for Earth as far as long term farming goes. Also kinda wonder how the ecosystem is gonna react to the stuff coming out of our crap. (possibly literally)Wat we gonna do about that love interest back on Earth? I assume we never actually asked her out so we aren't technically tied down.
>>4901287I don't think David will return to this planet. So if bacteries and shit lmaoend this planet we won't now
>>4901262>I bet you throw away your food instead of making a compost bin.>having leftovers>waiting so long your food spoilsTremendous tomfoolery. Dodotheists can't stop taking L's.
>>4901292And miss out on a secret ultimate chicken stash? That's getting recorded somewhere where even if the ship logs get wiped again we can come back.Plus this is an important footnote in human history in retrospect. Historians are gonna want to know where the first human on another planet landed.
>>4901297Aw fuck we should have brought a flag to plant on this rock.
>>4901250We Food Wars'd her. She's ruined for other men. Guess we need to take responsibility.
>>4901262We are going to eat so many of your peers, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.
>>4901250seconding a American flag to be planted here>>4901300>>4901304
>>4901280...the fuck is this?
>>4901391USA USA USA USA USA USA
>>4901447Is it because they don't brush their teeth?
>>4901454just google ortolan
>>4901456I'd rather not.
>>4901459It's a rare small bird in France that people eat whole.It was made illegal due to a combination of endangerment, and the things done in preparation of the bird(take out the birds eyes, leave them in a small box filled with seed/fruit. When they're fat enough, drown them in brandy and marinade them in that brandy.)People still do it, and the covering the head with the cloth is to keep the aroma in to smell. Their fat smells/tastes like hazelnuts
>>4901477Huh, that is better than I expected. Still gross, but whatever. I prefer fried chicken.
>>4901490I mean people pay like $500 for what's essentially a single bite.
>>4901491So we drop a few rock on France right?
>>4901492David spends perhaps an unhealthy amount of time considering whether or not he should drop rocks on certain countries, and if so, which.
>>4901494Its a correct hobby to fuck with the wannabe gods of the world.
>>4901477What is it with the French and torturing birds to make them taste good?
>>4901595They basically just force the bird into situations where the only option is to eat. Then kill them in whatever way makes them ideal to eatMeanwhile in china, you got some areas that literally believe the more scared/in pain the animal is when it dies, the better it'll taste. (Dog Festival in some province in china)
>>4901605One of many reasons to exterminate the commie ants.
>>4901609Last I checked you don't need a reason to remove invasive pests.
>>4901494China first, then Russia.>>4901605Fucking hell. First china, then Russia, then France, then the Congo.OP we're gonna need a lot of rods from god.
>>4901656>>4901494Oh and Mexico too while we're at it. Fuck the cartel.
>>4901293The only L I take is a Loving relationship with your mother.>>4901377Use the whole bird, do not waste its precious body. Also, Fuck you.
>>4901670>he's my dadJesus fuck that is a TREMENDOUS L holy shit never mind. You go do you. I literally cannot bring myself to insult someone who is already such a front runner in the suffering Olympics good lord.Fucking hell I'll be sure to pour one or seven out for you homie. Yeesh.
>>4901605>being that malevolent with doggos>not even hidingThat's it. I was content with only pranking and toppling their government before. No more. I now fully support transforming the entirety of China into a glass floor. Or a big crater. Or both.Commies truly deserve a bullet.
>>4901753https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOKf5r_JMAoDog originated from wolves, but were tamed and grew alongside humanity for Millenias. They are literally mans best friend. I am absolutely all for hitting them with a WoMD, but there's this pesky voice in the back of my head telling me all about the innocent folk in China.I still crave fire and brimestone.
>>4901753>>4901778We have a nice AI for finding pesky things like, suitable targets. And we can produce so much white phoserous
>>4901753That is not communism. That is just the Chinese being Chinese.
>>4901875you mean a human-shaped plague upon the earth?
>>4901875Most other human cultures have naturally domesticated themselves. Communism begins with the shredding and blurring of ethical standards thanks to the managerial shitshow going on. For example. A lie does not mean the same in english as it does in Russia. It's not lying if you scam/hoodwink somebody. If they could not figure out it was a lie, then it is not a lie. The scarcity of resources and conflicting messages from the top atrophy human compassion in a cutthroat game of survival of the fittest that rivals the orobourous of modern capitalism. Any display of morality is a farce put on for status and power instead of empathy. That's not to say the chinese are incapable of such feelings, but communism applies natural and artificial selection against anyone or anything they consider a threat and being against barbarism is a threat. Most human beings would have the same result if the evils of communism were forced upon them.
>>4901888Trips proclaim the evils of commie filth.
>>4901250"Mmm, i don't think the MSG was necessary this time around. Damn, that's some good chicken."Cylia seems to have regained herself somewhat, and is chowing down with such fervor that you're starting to worry she might choke.Man, what you would give for a glass of iced tea or a Dr.Pepper right about now. You really need to get back to earth soon."Alright, well... let's just eat, i guess. The smoked bird can wait until later."...It takes about half an hour for Cylia to stuff herself full. She actually started crying about halfway through, which had you a little worried.Now though, she's just laying there with chicken grease on her face, staring up at the sky with a blank expression. You can't tell what she's thinking.You meanwhile, have continued to stuff your face long after she was done. You don't know how you did it, but you managed to eat damn near a quarter of a bird. And these a big birds.There's still the spitroast to attend to though, so you can't stuff yourself into a food coma quite yet.And then you receive a message from SHODAN over your earpiece."Captain, something is happening. Please re-"The message cuts off completely and is replaced with static and an intense electronic squealing noise. Ah, shit.Cylia's ears twitch, and she instantly snaps out of her food trance. She sits up a bit too quickly, and groans as she holds her stomach in pain. "Wha..? David, do you feel that?""...I don't know. Something's wrong, but i don't know what i'm feeling. I'm getting a little nervous, here."Then you notice. You don't hear any of the abundant wildlife anymore. It's all gone quiet."Shit. Cylia, stay calm and stay quiet. We need to move.""Huh...?""Now!"You grab her by the wrist and forcibly pull her up to her feet, then bolt from the campsite as quickly as you can.Behind you, you can hear the sound of breaking branches and falling trees.Cylia can't keep up for some reason. You end up grabbing her up and running on your own, feeling like the devil is on your heels.Once you've made some distance, you stop and dive into a bush. You force down your breath to make as little noise as possible, even though your lungs are burning.The sky seems to have darkened, and it's still rapidly getting darker.You look down and see Cylia, frozen in fear. She's trembling.You can't stop thinking right now. If you stop thinking, you're going to die.But, you don't know what's happening. You don't even know what you're running from. You just know that you need to.Minutes pass, and nothing happens. You just sit there with your mosin, waiting for anything. Something does eventually happen, but it's not whatever you expected.Dark, fuzzy-looking snowflakes begin to fall. You're immediately reminded of nuclear ash, but this isn't that.Holding out your hand, you try to catch one. It falls straight through your hand and keeps going. You turn your hand over, and nothing seems wrong with it. It's like it was just a hologram.
>>4901952The black snow is falling harder and harder now. It just passes right through the leaves, and right through your whole body.It even obscures your vision for a moment as it passes through your eyeballs.You aren't sure what to do right now.>Just hide here in the bush>Try to make it back to the ship>Write In
>>4901952We didn't accidentally get her addicted like a crack head right? Besides our awesome cooking. Wait...ARE THE DODO'S MEAT A FUCKING TRAP?!>>4901955>Try to make it back to the ship>"Cylia, don't let go of my hand. Or get far from me.">Avoid going through as much open space as possible, and try to spot where the animals went, and follow them if there is too much on the way to the ship.The fuck is this shit man.
>>4901955>Try to make it back to the ship
>>4901955Reminds me of the enemies from Prey. Oh hey actually this aesthetic is more like The Upside Down from Stranger Things isn't it?>>4901959Sure, I like it. Solid plan. If we can't find any of the animals then let's start to consider that maybe the dark energy signature we detected has something to do with...I dunno shifting dimensions or something
>>4901955>>4901952Does the black snow fall through the ground, or collect on it?
>>4901952>Try to make it back to the shipYeah this was a pretty good food wars episode >>4901959>"Cylia, don't let go of my hand. Or get far from me."The perfect excuse
>>4901959>"Cylia, don't let go of my hand. Or get far from me.">Try to make it back to the ship
>>4901955>Try to make it back to the shipOh shit boy...
>>4901990It falls straight through everything including the ground, without even slowing.
I'll just go ahead and say this now, while i'm still free.I've got a 4th of july party to deal with today and tomorrow, which means i'm gonna be grilling steak all day and getting piss drunk all night.We'll see whether i can manage to update properly or not, but there's a good chance i'll be busy/too tired/unconscious.Happy fourth, everyone! And god bless America!
I mean... This can be either the massive Dark Energy event we found when we got to the planet... Or either the creature that creates it/was created by the Dark Energy event.That btw, I was having a tought, and if there's a way to collect Dark Energy from the ambience? Something that we have here like Solar Pannels and things like that. If we can, we could probably make a building or technology that if they are potent enough to not explode from the suden levels of Dark Energy, we could collect that energy and sell it, and surely we could product alot of these Dark Matter batteries and make some good money.
>>4902056Fair enough, go party the American way to spite the commies infesting the country.>>4902066Our biggest concern is not dying horribly in the next few minuets. Or being stranded.
>>4901988I hope we don't time travel by accident.
>>4902066Dark energy and dark matter have to be physically collected, using specialized equipment.But they are in fact "mined" from certain areas.
>>4901959This is what happens when you fuck with Dodos. SAD! +1
>>4902056dog bless America! USA USA USA USA USA USA
>>4901955Each of you quickly grab a breeding pair of dodos and run back to the ship
>>4902056Light up some fireworks for me friend USA USA USA USA
>>4901955>Write In>Do things the American WayUSA! USA! USA!
>>4901955Aside from the food coma, we naturally are the best long distance runners species on Earth. Cylia keeping up might be the bigger problem but we surely know how to transport an injured person away from enemy fire ala forest gump if she starts lagging behind.So what was the red dwarf implication you guys had? I don't get it because i keep on thinking of Red Dwarf.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOE7qTAK87o
>>4902122>Our biggest concern is not dying horribly in the next few minuets. Or being stranded.or worse, being DEATH STRANDED haha get it? hideo kojima
>>4901955>Just hide here in the bushDo as the animals do.
>>4902498Honestly... mimicing the animals isn't a bad move...But we really don't know the effect of the black snow.
>>4902656For all we know these dodos are actually apex predators and the black snow just makes them braindead retarded and docile and it'll do the same to us.I don't want to be a dodo.
>>4902708>>4902410The snow is us tripping balls on dodo meat.
>>4902776Never. It's turning us into dodos. You're a dodo too, aren't you? I won't let you trick us, dodoman.
>>4902498If it's chasing us the hiding won't do anything. Although we could go and fight it, the transmission from SHODAN and phasing are suspicious (related?) problems too. Additionally these creatures had no survival instincts at all but knew to GTFO from whatever is chasing us that is capable of ripping out trees.This doesn't add up and makes me almost think the tripping balls idea is true or that this garden world has a guard dog of some sort that warps in to .eliminate trespassers.
Press F to pay respect to all the doggos, cattos, horsos, and other nice animals the Chinese ate alive.The Chineses truly are bug people.
>>4902832Your thinking of Emus, you sandy cunt.
>>4902954>sandy cunt.A fate worse than death.
>>4902958It'll wash out with the semen.
>>4902954S A N D
>>4902973>>4902982That's why you need the semen, it impregnates the sand making it clump up together fat and heavy.
Why are we talking about fucking sand? I'm confused, and not in the good way of seeing a new fetish.
>>4903003>>4903001This is the weirdest rollplay I've seen all afternoon. And I spend my time in trash laughing at a troon pretending he doesn't hate white people.
>>4903003That's the friction action, a well know feature. Stop resisting and just relax and enjoy it. Its just the tip.
>>4903012Stop resisting.>>4903011Someone turned what someone else into a sex thing.
>>4903011You do know what site you're on right
>>4903027Yes, but...why sand?
>>4903034Because it's there...
>>4901888I mean, as the guy talking about that festival, it isn't a super common thing. It's mostly localized to several small parts of the country. Considering they have 1/6th the human population, it's not surprising a few esoteric parts of the country has barbaric practices. In additon, Chinese provincial governments tend to crack down on it when it gets international attention. Overall Chinese consumption of cats and dogs appear to be drastically down vs a decade ago. The concept of suffering = better meat also seems to be much less common (though could be just people keeping their mouths shut).For instance, in a part of Pakistan, there's a tradition of rat children. Essentially for good luck (and to not have future deformed children, they give up their first born to a temple. Those given to the temple are given a iron headband that keeps their skull from growing. This results in a deformed pinhead head that makes the rest of the face look like a rat's.
>>4903043Well they were going to be glassed anyways.
>>4903043Damn I just thought they were jewish.
>>4903043man the guy from ratatouille really traveled around the world
>>4903028That's not real.This is real.
>>4901952Very quietly, you whisper to your partner."Cylia, hold my hand and don't let go, no matter what. Come on."She doesn't respond, but you grip her hand and feel hers tighten around yours.You peek out of the bushes and take a look around. About ten yards from you, there's something out there. You wait and watch, to see what it is and what it does.It moves strangely, almost like it's gliding across the ground when it walks. It's not human in shape, whatever it is. But most importantly, it looks like it's made out of a "cloud" of these black snowflakes.The shadowy figure walks forwards slowly, passing straight through a tree before popping out the other side.It reaches out towards something that you can't see, and then bursts. The flakes that made up it's body expand out and fall through the ground, disappearing.There's nothing else around."Daveed, o'calcas la'traam...? O'mah sakelah!"Looks like your translator is going haywire. That must be her native language. Her voice is shaking, and she seems absolutely terrified."Don't worry, we're gonna get back to the ship and get out of here, alright?"While you have the chance, you leave the bushes and make your way back towards where you think the ship is.Neither your radio nor your holopad seem to be working, so you're only mostly sure of where it was. Actually, your skinsuit isn't working either now that you think about it... Shit, you hope the ship is fine.As you cross through the underbrush, more of those things keep popping out. They seem to coalesce out of dense pockets of black snow, and then exist for a short while afterwards.They all have different shapes, some of them looking human, some of them looking more like the various aliens you'd seen on the station. No matter what though, they're all doing something.It seems like they're searching. For what, you don't know. You, maybe? Or maybe something you can't see?Whatever it is, they always seem to die after reaching out and grasping for something. If you're close enough, you can just barely hear something audible, but you don't know what they're saying.You manage to avoid almost all of them, and you're nearly back at the ship.Unfortunately, one coalesces right in front of you. It immediately turns and stares a hole straight through you. Your blood freezes and your body nearly does too, but you manage to raise your mosin up and fire it with one hand.The bullet and muzzle flash both pass through the thing's head as if it wasn't even there. You're certain that Cylia feels this overwhelming fear and dread these things give off, but she's managed to stay on her feet. Good girl.The creature reaches out towards you, and you can't even begin to describe what you feel. It's just something cold, deep and awful.At the same time, your radio pops back to life, squealing horrifically in your ear. It's not SHODAN calling you though. In fact, you're not even sure if what you're hearing is really coming over the radio.
>>4903394oh shidd we fugged
>>4903394Fucking, I'm getting Death Stranding vibes here.
The things we do for meat.
Anyone know any good methods to disrupt these things bodies? I'm pretty sure that round we popped off got their attention.
Also this shit right here is why I said I wanted to make a Space Exploration Guild. BULLSHIT JUST LIKE THIS! A Death Korp of Krieg troupe made of creative nerds that want waifus is a side thing. SCP, Monster Hunter, Pokemon fans, any that would be useful in figuring out this bullshit.
>>4903429Oh. So the static might be because SHODAN doesn't need to speak our language to transmit information thanks to the , ergo it's faster to speak in the aol dial tone. With the translators down it can't contact us properly.I have two main not mutually exclusive theories on this1) Grey goo scenario designed to maintain the garden world.2)The warp signature was the planet going into a warp bubble and taking us with it. That's why the ship went weird. Two warp bubbles in the same area fucked with physics. The planet didn't detect us until it was too late since SHODAN is naturally stealthy the planet decided to move with us along for the ride.
>>4903459I figured, but we got no nuke. Do we have anything to make an EMP?>>4903480If it was Grey Goo it would be unlikely we could move as far as we did without being caught and eliminated. Although I suppose it is an assumption that this grey goo had that programing in mind, or even that adaptation.>2)The warp signature was the planet going into a warp bubble and taking us with it. Not ruling it out, but it seems unlikely this planets species reached a point to make the planet decide that kind of thing. Unless it is a natural phenomenon on this planet, in which case this may be some other event starting the these Dark Flashes to show up. Plus, the bubbles only happened before we got here. Which means either some ancient invention is walking around, or activated and leaking out whatever the hell this shitshow is, OR, its some as yet to be identified species that can just do...whatever the fuck is happening right now.>That's why the ship went weird.I'm starting to think it has more to do with some electromagnetic interference being leaked out, by whatever the hell these things are. Not that there is a reality bubble. >Two warp bubbles in the same area fucked with physics.So far the only physics defying thing we've seen so far is this Matrix style no clip snow, which brings to question, is this even a city we're standing in?>The planet didn't detect us until it was too late since SHODAN is naturally stealthy the planet decided to move with us along for the ride.That doesn't line up with what we have seen so far, at least to start with.
>>4903534Our designer is a crazy old weaponsmith, but even then I can't be sure he'd put that feature in.
>>4903541Cylia is already scared out her mind, plus I bet the things are protected from surging.
>>4903541She's a cat. She already has enough static electricity to jumpstart the warp engines.
>>4903624Or were they?
>>4903394Smack it with your foot and a half long dick.
>>4903770I don't know what a half-long dick is, but feet are very powerful indeed. Good choice.
>>49038711.5 foot long dick, or 18 inches. Divid's is technically 20 inches long.
>>4903874>the awful joke>some air>>>a bird>another bird>>>a hat>your silly head
>>4903506I figure there's no way I got it right but a glitchy system can explain a few things.I'm also vaguely remembering something about how the windows aren't open during warp for ominous reasons. That along with the warhammer 40k fan stuff is giving me an idea, but I'm not sure if it's not in character to figure it out or btting on warhammer 40k physics is dumb enough for MC to do it.
>>4903930If that shit was happening, we wouldn't be speaking, we would be turning into barely identifiable meat puddles on the ground.
>>4903930>>4904094We would or would not be screaming however...maybe forever.
>>4901605oh reminds me about how they boil live cats, or squids who are quite intelligent or the thing where they eat a frog while its sitll alive ripping out its intestines meat and legs and leaving its still living torso to writhe around in pain trying to crawl away on a bed of ice until they start eating the forelegs leaving the head alive to watch
>>4904187Insects in human skin. OH, I know a fun way to get rid of them. Slowly offer rides to the elite of the commie party, and take them to "paradise worlds" with their servants. Repeat adnauseum.
>>4901477then they should not fucking eat a endangered animal are they fucking Chinese? like those fuckers eat horseshoe crabs and pangolin blood
>>4904194>implying there aren't stupid shitters who do stupid shit just because they canLegality is an issue for the poor and powerless.
>>4903407We must piss on them to survive! Quick David, piss on the flake monsters with your magnum schlong!
Here's what I think.https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Jetrel_(episode)
>>4904260...might just do it if it works.
>>4903394."ģ̵͓̖͓̹̱̞̓̄̉̀̀͒͠ ̷͖̙̿͋̈́̓͌͆͜͝i̴̙̱̱̹̍ ̸͋͊̔̎͑̓͐̂͊̆͛͜v̶̼̠͓͕͎̏̿͊̑͑̓́͒̄̎̀ ̶̺̿͑͒̈́̾͝e̶͔̒̀̎́͗̈́͘ ̴̟̻̑̔̀͛̒̒̈́̚͜ͅͅ.̷͇͗̎͂̚.̴̢̡̭̼̙̙̠̰̠́̈́͒͋̋͝͠͝.̷̟̻̰̥͉͈̳̓̈̒̇̊̈́̀͠ ̴̢̡͚̳͙̞̯͂̑̌͜͜͝ͅṱ̷͔̘̩̝́̾͆ ̵̡̪̖̮̫̜̾̾̎o̶̪̿̓̔̈̕ ̷̨̳͉̝̥̈́.̸̢͓̠̖͕̟̯̥͈̔͒̈́̀͂̐̑̃̚.̵̛͈̹͕.̴̡̣̘̰̱̗̞̱̉̓̊́̈́͠ ̷̟̜̈̿́̿̂̉̚m̸̡̛͉͚̟̪̠̠̻̥̆̾̍̀̕ ̸̢̮͖̫͉͒̈́̍ȩ̶͆̽̍͝"';"FUUUUUUUCK!"The thing plunges it's hand into your chest. You can't help but gasp as you feel a deep pain that penetrates to your core.But you resist. Whatever it's doing, you cry out and struggle against it. And you succeed, after not more than a few long seconds.It's arm practically unravels, the immaterial flakes making up it's body peeling off and floating away.It stops, simply looking down at the slowly disintegrating stump that was once it's arm. Whether it's confused or just doesn't understand at all, you know don't know and you don't care.You give up on the rifle and just swing at the damn thing with your bare fist, which to your shock seems to disperse it... or was it already dispersing?There's no time to think about it. The creature shrieks horrifically as it dies and the flakes that burst from it's body swirl on the wind for a moment before entering your chest.The pain you were feeling disappears instantly as the last flakes slowly enter you, not seeming to fall out afterwards.Your chest is heaving and you're positively dripping with sweat. You haven't felt this much fear since you were a child, but the source of that fear has disappeared, and the oppressive aura it emanated has gone with it.Turning to Cylia, you see that she's still on her feet... but she's gone totally catatonic. Her eyes are open wide in fear, but they don't follow your hand. No reaction as you snap your fingers, either.Still, she holds tight onto your left hand, and she follows as you drag her along towards the ship.Those things... they didn't react to the gunshot at all, but it seems like they heard their fellow's dying screech. You see them converging on you from all directions within the jungle.You thank god in heaven that they're slow.You weren't a believer before, but you don't know what to think anymore. These are fucking demons, you're sure of it.Finally, after what feels like ages, the ship comes into view... and it's shields are up? There's some sort of field visibly sparking and shimmering as the snowflakes fall against it and roll off the sides.There are dozens of them surrounding the ship, but they refuse to touch the shield.You find a gap and throw yourself through at full speed, passing the shield harmlessly. At least a hundred demons that were following you pile up against the barrier, which arcs and hisses brilliantly.They seem to burn at it's touch, and several of them die before they spread out and simply watch you from the outside.The ship's door is open and the ramp is down, although you'd left it closed when you left. Dragging Cylia along, you quickly close it back up."SHODAN! GET US THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"
>>4904371DID THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST TRY TO STEAL OUR SOUL?! THAT'S IT, SECOND OUR CATGIRL IS SAFE AND SOUND WE WILL COMMIT GENOCIDE ON THIS GHOST ASSHOLE!>You find a gap and throw yourself through at full speed, passing the shield harmlessly. At least a hundred demons that were following you pile up against the barrier, which arcs and hisses brilliantly.>They seem to burn at it's touch, and several of them die before they spread out and simply watch you from the outside.GET YOUR POWER HAMMERS BOYS, AND THE ROCKET PACKS, WE'RE GOING GHOST HUNTING! NO ONE FUCKING SCARES OUR KITTY AND LIVES, EVEN IN DEATH!
>>4904371>The ship's door is open and the ramp is down, although you'd left it closed when you left.
>>4904376Either a survivor stowaway, or SHODAN bet we'd be able to get to her. Ignoring that. POWER WEAPONS SHALL BE MADE STANDARD ISSUE GEAR UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, THIS INCLUDES A SOLID BLADE IN EMERGENCY SITUATIONS WHEN THE FIELD IS DOWN!
>>4904371Fuck of techno ghosts.
>>4904371Noooo, we didn't grab any dodos :,(
>>4904385Cleanse the planet first, then we can get us some bird meat.
>>4904385Man fuck the dodos. Mutha fukin SCIENCE SPECTERS up in this bitch.
>>4904385Forget the birds, the damn demons take priority. Also when we make our power armour I say we make it look like crusader armour, just for the peace of mind.
We need to stop by medical bay to make sure nothing got inside us any strange energy readings or what not.
>>4904442I think gettin' back to granpa Grey might be adviseable too. He's a grey so he's bound to have some degree of medical knowledge.
>>4904447Do we tell the others about the demons and/or look it up on the space net?
All hail fight or flight instinct, it clearly saved our lives here.
>>4904452Both? Ask Granpa Grey, he may know or heard of a thing or two.
>>4904371this is some anomaly shit right heremaking a explorers HQ where we get to explore some fucked up shit like this is definitely a must
>>4904495>make explorers guild>this kind of shit happens everywhere they go>make suicide hotline for explorers guild
>>4904371Did David just absorb the space ghost? I hope that means we get magic powers and not ghost cancer
>>4904544>we get magic powers Oh that would be horrifying
>>4904544I think it may have something to do with fight or flight instinct, most species probably just freeze up in fear and get eaten without resistance like our cat friend, humans just try to eat back.
>>4904557Okay.Then why did the black shit flow into us after we killed it then though.
>>4904591Probably just getting back whatever it was sucking out of us.
>>4904651Maybe human souls are made of dark matter or something
>>4904659>«Give me your soul!»>«No u»
>>4904659>our souls are the niggestouch
>>4904659>>4904544What happens if we eat more of them. Are we undead?>>4904495>>4904520I called it.
>>4902426Actually this guy called it.
>>4904371...No response."SHODAN! What the fuck are you doing?! HEY!"Nothing. She's either offline, ignoring you, or can't hear you. Something must be wrong.You sprint to the cockpit and fall into the pilot's seat, but... almost everything is offline."Shit!"The only lights in the ship are from the emergency lighting system, and whatever filters in through the windows.You can hear those things whispering outside, even through the walls of the ship. They haven't left, and they probably aren't going to."Alright, fuck. Calm down. The shields are holding, for now. Shit, what i wouldn't give to have Kyla here right now!"Is it an electrical fault? You check the generator, but it seems to be working fine.Something further down the line? Opening up the wall panels, you check out the test boards one by one. There are electrical fluctuations all over there place, but you can't find where they're coming from.Is there something wrong with the AI core? You've never actually crawled into the little hole where it's installed, but now seems as good a time as any.SHODAN's Blue Box is in there. It's open, just like Kyla's AI was after she unshackled it. But the light coming from inside is different somehow. It's a different color, and much more dull.You aren't even sure if that means anything, but even if it did you couldn't fix it.As you're running around the ship, you notice Cylia is still there in the entry hall where you'd left her, sitting on her ass in the fetal position, muttering to herself."Saklah... Sakelah o'tolam... ah... emekkel ana wal... hahaha! ah..."She's totally out of it.You pick her up gently and place her into her bed. She covers herself up with sheets and continues muttering.You wish you knew what she was saying. Maybe you could snap her out of it.Right now, you're just stuck.You don't know what to do. You don't know what you can do. You aren't even really thinking straight.Maybe that's why, but you can't help staring at those damned things. They look fuzzy in your vision, where everything else seems so clear.And they watch you back. Following you from window to window.It's pissing you off. You wish ever last one of these fuckers was dead, not just here, but everywhere they might exist.>Go outside, see if you can taunt them into killing themselves using the shield>Just stay inside and try to wait, maybe they'll lose interest>Write In
>>4904853>Go outside, see if you can taunt them into killing themselves using the shieldIf that doesn't work>try pulling the same thing that you did earlier by sticking your arm through and grabbing one's head
>>4904853>Go to the edge of the shield, and try punching those that come close enough on the head, gotta verify if barefist is actually what hurt those damn things.
>>4904853https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXpnI52cLEcthis>>4904866Grab a large metal pole too, see if anything solid can break them up.
>>4904853We should have put her in our bed too.
>>4904892Yeah, grab the same metal pole we did the first time. This thing will be our go-to. Concurring on all counts.
>>4904896If only we had our weapon nuts, if they weren't made catatonic like Cylia, we could fast track power weapons. Whatever, we getting them after we get off this rock. Next big thing is, should we take off the skin suit? It doesn't work outside, but I don't know it it was responsible for keeping us whole.
>>4904853>Pinch ourselves to make sure we're awake and not in some comatose state.
>>4904899I see no reason to take it off. Even if the active functions aren't currently working it still offers a degree of armor.
>>4904905True. I was hopping to just wrap up Cylia in it, see if our smell and a few minuets of fetal position would help her. Then we fight demons as god intended, with steel in hand and our cocks out to slap the shit out of them.
>>4904918Don't bring the evil of that corporate cashgrab of failure to stain this place.
>>4904907Not sure what's going on with her, but with a language barrier in place I don't think there's much we can do for her. Seems to me that whatever's got her so shook up is probably a deeply rooted cultural thing. Maybe the Caithans have encountered demons before, but since they're not badass humans they never thought 'so how do i kill these motherfuckers' instead they thought "we've got to hide from these motherfuckers"
>>4904924Probably, unless these things are pushing out some memetic effect acting like her siblings or dead family members or something.
Our tour hunting the denizens of hell must of course have one of the hardest fuckers ever singing the song of our people.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXkszF8Kq0Q
Can we raise the warp shielding barriers on the ship?
>>4905030David isn't aware of this, but that's already what's happening. That isn't the regular shield, it's the ship's slipspace sheath.
>>4905035So that means SHODAN only had enough time to turn that on before conking out? SHIT, at least the shield should keep their influence from messing with Cylia too much. And it means this is space warp stuff. Can we minimize the shielding to strap it to a hammer? When we get back to base?
>>4905042Most of the ship's controls are non-functional.Whatever SHODAN did, she did it in such a way that it couldn't be turned off.Otherwise it likely would have done.
>>4905046So someone physically came in to try, because these spooks pass right through matter. Which means we get to go hunting for the fuck that messed with our ship.
>>4905049SHODAN opened the door for you, expecting you to return.
>>4905053Okay, so back to the best case scenario. Still need to beat the squatters off our windows.
>>4905061Try yelling racial slurs at them. That might make them go away, If that doesn’t work create a makeshift cross and hope that helps.
>>4905063>Make a crossIT IS TIME! DEUS VULT!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fmv9MHj3HRo
>>4904866This. We'e Ghostpuncher now.>>4904893You mean hear own bed, you silly coomer.>>4905063>>4905067These. Lets make a Crossed shaped spear and start swinging.
>>4905070>You mean hear own bed, you silly coomer.I know what I said.>These. Lets make a Crossed shaped spear and start swinging.See if we can make holy water too.>>4904853All these>>4904866>>4904892>>4905070
>>4905072>See if we can make holy water too.No can do. David wasn't ordained as a priest, but he can draw upon the power of god and christ all mighty to smite down these demons.
>>4905075Times like these I wish we had a pocket bible. Just so we can tear out pages, slap them on some metal, and go to town.
>>4905075>>4905072How the fuck do we make holy water. Do we boil the hell out of it? TO THE AUTOCLAVE
>>4905079We could use our medical fab to see if it can produce paper pre-printed with scriptures' that David can recall. There's some metal stuff in the bible.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtbbIB776ks
>>4905063>>4905075>>4905072OP said we already believe in the values, I guess it's time to convert.
Also, I think we gotta WAAAAAAAARP somehow. I believe this NOT beached things are people that got succ into the slipspace. You know? the thing that we shouldn't look at? And David is just like "lmao" *looks at them anyway* So I believe what always happens is that ships go IN slipspace but this even is the reverse. Slipspace going OUT.My theory is that this planet was OK doing research and stuff and did a fucky, creating a slipspace ANCHOR that lets the thing OUT from time to time. Maybe it even is a seasonal thing; once every three weeks there is a new slipspace event, or maybe there always is a slipspace event in the planet at any point in time and David is THAT lucky.I am impressed SHODAN was able to diagnose what the fuck was going on in such limited time.Finishing the rant, what I believe is that those NOT beached things are the shadow of the real... "entity" if we can call it that, thus attacking them wont do a thing. Try to cover a shadow with your hand, for instance. The shadow will cover your hand instead. Unless we can do this https://youtu.be/VVtx3xE8uGQ?t=17 I don't have a clue what to do besides doing a fucky with warp stuff
>>4905075Could we make silver bayonets and silver knuckle dusters?>>4905084>>4905092>>4905094If this is warp shit, we need to beat the demons holding us here off.
>>4905094>those NOT beached things are the shadow of the real... "entity" if we can call it thatyou're not wrong
>>4905110We will hunt down Space Satan, and we will make him eat a Cross.
>>4905110I don't care for law or reason. I demand crusading. DEUS VULT! FOR GOD! AVE MARIA!!! KILL THE DEMONS!
I wonder what «eating» those things is doing to us?
>>4905094> thus attacking them wont do a thingI see where you're coming from with the rest of your points, and they're good ones. On this one though we've already seemingly killed one of these things, so attacking them demonstrably does SOMETHING.
>>4905129Lets find out.
>>4905129Presumably, we are either breaking them down and absorbing them, or they're simply dying and their remains gravitate towards us.
>>4905134I know that, I am just curious what it actually does to us.At least we can’t complain about the lack of exotic food anymore…Also>Apex predator goes to another wacky dimension>Still Apex predator.
>>4905123>>4905129>>4905133>>4905134https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQDY7n-uh4o>>4905142We shall devour the souls of the damned, and we will critique them on how awful they tasted.
>>4905086Perfect. We must adorn these new holy arms, and give them the bitchslap of god.
>>4904853>>4905086Let's do this shit, don't forget to yell both religious shit at them and just general obscenities
Back to the topic of power armor. I am starting to think the Templar Suits from Hellgate London would be more appropriate.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T4lzDUxNlkWe shall channel Alexander Anderson, and bring death to these monsters.
>>4905164The greys can't deny that we know a thing or two about asthetics. It's all about putting the fear of god into your enemies, and inspiring action in your men.
>>4905172Damn right. Our normal soldiers shall be Knights. Recruits shall be the Death Korp. Our Elites shall be Marines. And we shall be the leaders of this cavalcade of badassery.
>>4905164I feel like Fallout PA (with appropriate theming) is the proper level of bulky and chunky to look aesthetically pleasing. Especially if you use t-45/65, because in my opinion the t-51/x-01 are too smooth and rounded.>>4905172Makes up for being rounded by having lots of ridges and details, as well as not being nothing but curves.
>>4905176Our Engineers can have Dead Space Rigs and Fallout Power Armor, by personal designs and modifications.
>>4905174How about this:>Normal soldiers are the Marines>If they want and are qualified, they can join the Order proper, which has knights and chivalry and power armor and shit>We are the Grandmaster of the Order and General of the Marines
>>4905176PA will probably come in all shapes and sized. Smaller ones for more dexterity, bulkier ones for more protection.
>>4905182>>4905179So Fallout style PA for the heavies and combat engineers? Because if there's one thing Bethesda did right in the more recent Fallouts it was put the power in power armor.
>>4905181Wrong, our recruits shall be Death Korp, only when they prove themselves may they upgrade or change classes. Baring those coming in for a specific placement. They need to pass a required competency test, and gain the approval of the Examiner to be inducted into another group. >>4905174We shall need to make new armor sets and training regimens for mixed unit tactics.>>4905181>>4905186Excellent idea. Normal Kriegers can be filler squads, like they are wont to do. Pilots can just be pilots like in Titanfall, and they use skinsuits and modified equipment for them when not driving.
>>4905164Bruh, EYE is the toppest tier if you want a combo of crusader aesthetics and scifi.
>>4905196I hope you mean Death Korps theming, not Death Korps everything. Because the Death Korps only keeps up with their losses because 40K is 40K.On the other hand, if you town down their tactics with an acceptable regard for human life, they become outdated but acceptable... for planetary warfare. For boarding/urban warfare (most of what we'll be doing) though, they become utterly irrelevant.
>>4905198And for anyone who hasn't playedhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmmqx5O10Ic
>>4905196>>4905203It's still too far to do names. Let's visit earth first.
>>4905209In all fairness, yeah. But it's fun to speculate and plan, is it not?
>>4905203>For boarding/urban warfare (most of what we'll be doing) though, they become utterly irrelevant.Small space engagements are their bread and butter fool.>>4905209Fair. We need to set the seeds to get weebs and nerds that want space waifu adventures first.
>>4905217I am almost entirely certain that the bread and butter of the men of Kreig is prolonged trench warfare and sieges with earthshaking amounts of artillery and a side of suicidal charges.
>>4905219That includes prolonged underground tunnel warfare, and bunker clearing. Suicidal charges are for amateurs, its called probing. They are excellent city clearers if they aren't shelling them to craters.
>>4905186support but perhaps when we expand our mercenary group we should have a separate group that look like Grey Knights to handle techno demon bullshittery. >>4905209The reason we got this far is cause we are good at planning ahead, and luck. >>4905203keep the aesthetic, yeah but I thought the way we were going to recruit our kriegers was going on the internet and getting a bunch of people together with the promise of waifus if they compete in a tournament we make and win or show promise. Thus we create a legion of suicidal waifu warriors.>>4905219I'm sure if we combine tech from earth plus stuff that Sanig can produce we can make our Krieg soldiers viable. >>4905221So basically use them as the general forces while the people in power armour will be for shock attacks and/or a stand in for a mechanized assault?
>>4905221I'll give you bunker clearing, but trenches are by definition open to the sky.And considering that they're siege troops, they're probably competent at urban warfare. No more than that though, because they're usually too busy shelling the cities to get much practice actually clearing them.
>>4905227>So basically use them as the general forces while the people in power armour will be for shock attacks and/or a stand in for a mechanized assault?Yeah, I said as much already.>>4905196>>4905232You greatly underestimate the size bunkers get. The proper ones are small towns unto themselves. Between that and tunnel warfare, NOBODY clears a room like Kriegers do.
>>4905227>yeah but I thought the way we were going to recruit our kriegers was going on the internet and getting a bunch of people together with the promise of waifus if they compete in a tournament we make and win or show promise. Thus we create a legion of suicidal waifu warriors.I love hearing the idea repeated each time.>I'm sure if we combine tech from earth plus stuff that Sanig can produce we can make our Krieg soldiers viable.They are already great, vacuumed sealed suits, chemical and acid protected, best rebreather units known to man. With excellent functional equipment.
>>4905234>>4905241Sorry if I repeated myself, basically skimmed through the last dozen or so posts. Also the recruitment plan was from a different anon last thread I believe. Still, any way to improve the troops should be taken.
>>4905234>NOBODY clears a room like Kriegers do.By stepping over the bodies of the kriegers who went in first, until theres enough cover made of corpses to bayonet the enemy.Stop thinking they do tacticool operator room clearing, they dont. They do human wave tactics in every situation. Emulating the Chinese is not what we want to do.
You know I actually think Robocop has a cool aesthetic for power armor.
>>4905246Nah, Waifu Kriegers was me. But more ways to improve recruitment is always an ideaseeing we see our modern day thought cultists out in the open, preventing that poison from taking root is going to be essential. Krieger training to help keep that shit out is going to be very important to the cause, especially with main communist countries getting the ROCK.>>4905251>Believing the memesWrong, they breach and clear like anyone else. They're just not cowards when it comes to hard pushes. >>4905253Engineers that went to far in robotics could turn into that.
>>4905256>Wrong, they breach and clear like anyone else. They're just not cowards when it comes to hard pushes.Their canon and latest source books prove you wrong. Also its impossible to be cowardly when you literally dont have those chemical responses in your brain.
>>4905259>Believing BasedhammerThey listen to the memes as much as you do.
Anon, can we discuss on to how to fucking survive out of this and THEN worry about fancy names or pleasing aesthetics? Attacking the monsters won't do a thing. If you paid attention, the !BTs performed a task or fulfilled a purpose and then fizzled away. It means they are either a disposable tool used by a conscious being Or unconscious unbeing. I don't know how fucky slipspace is or a naturally unnaturally occurring phenomenon that doesn't care about a shadow ending prematurely. I'd love to understand what makes David resistant to the !BT. Maybe is the HFY trope of humans being capable of functioning after half their body explodes or maybe it is just experience, because Cylia is very green and all this stuff scared her THAT much. Heh, eldritch mindfuck poor girl has been taking mental damage after mental damage.Now THINK anon, THINK. What can we do to save our asses???? Did QM wrote themselves into a corner or there is a way out???
>>4905260>beleiving Warhammer>about the thing from WarhammerWho wouldn't, anon?
>>4905285Do you think Disney Star Wars matters? If yes this conversation ends, with my only recommendation for you being bleach.>>4905282>Attacking the monsters won't do a thing.Wrong, hitting them made the first one dissipate. With the BT being confused and hurt by us after trying to do whatever it did.>Now THINK anon, THINK. What can we do to save our asses???? Did QM wrote themselves into a corner or there is a way out???Seeing as the shielding is up, we might be able to get SHODAN up again, if Cylia straightens out soon enough to help. Otherwise striking out with a cross is our best option behind the field. Get these leeches off our wall.
>>4905282I think it may be others species have no/ or reduced fight or flight instinct (no megafauna, less natural disaster, etc etc) so when they reach a certain level of fear they just freeze up.Anyways, time to see what make those things die.
>>4905290Yes, these things need to learn what its like to die hard.
Also a good reminder for those that think we can just turtle behind the shield. It runs on fuel for the Slipspace jumps. We probably got a few hours before it runs out.
>>4905309See what can be enabled. I'd advise against starting a warp where the slip steam is weak. That's like trying to tear a small hole in the thinnest silk
>>4905321I am more concerned with trying to do that in atmosphere on a planet. With no momentum.
Have we tried turning it off and on again?
>>4905357Ya know, cycling the power might not be a terrible idea.
>>4905327Nah you just turn on the drive, idle for an hour and ipso presto the planet has moved in its orbit and now we're in space.
>>4905361I don't think it works like that.>>4905360If we can figure out how to do it without shutting off the shield, then yeah. We really need to get mechanics lessons from our crewmates before this happens again.
>local civilization wipes itself out while doing slipspace experiments during the phase when they were attempting to learn spaceflight>the slipspace anomaly begins acting up whenever a slipspace disruption happens 'near' by, as with the case of any ship coming out of FTL near the planet>the anomaly is drawn heavily towards sources of dark matter/energy, causing most unprotected ships to be consumed by the anomaly, taking their crew with them and doing unspeakable things to them as slipspace is inclined to do>those ships don't typically have unshackled AI ready and authorized to raise slipspace barriers to stop this from happening, unlike ourshow close am i?
>>4905370Sounds damn close.>New captchaAnd there it is.
>>4905367>I don't think it works like that.I don't think it matters what you think.
>>4904853This is probably stupid, but you're gonna deck one of them.You aren't sure whether it did anything or not last time, so now it's time to find out.Walking down the ramp, their eyes are all immediately fixed on you. It's unbelievably unsettling.Even now that you're relatively calm, the sense of fear and dread that overcomes you as you approach is still difficult to push down.It's like every cell in your body is screaming at you to run.But you don't listen to your body, it listens to you.You walk straight up to the edge of the shield and stop, staring one of them down. It doesn't have any eyes, but you can tell it's looking at you.It doesn't move. It doesn't blink. It doesn't speak. It just stand there, waiting. But you know it would kill you or worse if it had the chance.You swing for it's head and your fist punches through the shield bubble, causing it to spark violently. Your fist then passes through the creature's head, seemingly without doing any harm.No, maybe it moved a little? But you still can't touch this thing with your fists. The last one, it was doing something to you. Now again, you're not religious yourself, but by god, if it wasn't trying to steal your soul then you don't know what it was doing.It sure hurt like hell. Deep, too. Not like a piece of shrapnel or a burn, but somewhere deeper. Just like emotional pain doesn't feel the same as physical pain, this was something different, too.But it stopped, as soon as you "won" and absorbed all that black shit. Just... you have no idea what that did to you. Was it good? It doesn't seem likely, but you just don't know anything about it.These fucking things... they just don't look right. They're wrong. You can see that just by looking and knowing they exist, of course... but more than that, you can just feel it. They're bad."You... what the hell are you?" .̵̫̒̏́͐̄ ̴̜͐̀͠.̸̨̘̘̣̝̖̆͘ ̶̛̜̤͍̰̝̬̈̂͒̈́̽̕͜.̴̡̬̜̭̖̻̱̇͒́ͅ ̸̙̀̍̈́e̴̜̪͖͉̩͆͐͒̀͘̕͠͝ ̵͎̜̮̺͚̒̐̕m̴͔͠ ̴̝̔́̾͠p̷̫̦̜̟͍̫̤̽̀̾ ̷̖͍̭̍̉̏͋͘t̶̛̩̑͊̋̉͛͒ ̴̡͕̝̖͕͚͊y̴͔̺̣̥̞̭̆́̀͂͒͘̚ ̷̱͙̮̤͚̒͊͐͊́.̵͖͍̝̥̠͈͆͆́̈́̊͜ ̸͍͇̱̳͖̙͚͌̃̑͌̂͐͂.̴͍̫̠͈͓̍͌́̽̍͘̕͘͜ ̵̖͕͈̄́̀͊̈́͝͝.̸͉̭̯͙͕̀͂̀̑̕͘͜͜͠ "Christ."You're sure about it now. You weren't hearing that with your ears.These things induce hallucinations, somehow. Weak ones, but strong enough to make you hear them. And they're intelligent. Not only can they speak, they can speak english.Maybe all that... maybe it explains the massive headache you've got right now.It doesn't matter. You need to try something."Hey, you ugly fucking cunt. Why don't you step over the line? I got a nice juicy soul right here, and it's all yours if you can just take it from me."Nothing."Come on, you little bitch! Try me! I'm right fucking here!"You spend the better part of 15 minutes egging them on, but they don't even blink.That's not gonna work. You need to do... something.>Escalate it. Let one of them touch you, try to kill it that way.>Just go back to the ship, close the windows and wait.>Write in
>>4905376>>4905386>New captchaWhat? It's just an ordinary captcha?Like, I was even prepared to make a joke about it after seeing it for myself but it's literally just a normal captcha.
>>4905414Empty huh? It seems like they need something other than electricity. So Soul is probably a good bet. >Escalate it. Let one of them touch you, try to kill it that way.ROLL THE DICE FUCKOS, YOU'LL GET A NICE MARINE BEACH WELCOME INSIDE!
>>4905414>Escalate it. Let one of them touch you, try to kill it that way.what could possibly go wrong
>>4905414>Escalate it. Let one of them touch you, try to kill it that way.
>>4905443moot want more money for 4chan passes
>>4905414>>Escalate it. Let one of them touch you, try to kill it that way.
>>4905414>Escalate it. Let one of them touch you, try to kill it that way.>If it becomes tangible whenever it touches us, snap its neck
>>4905443>>4905445Rip you two I guess, it's just a click for me.
>>4905414Backing this too>>4905448They gotta get hard to get inside. Might be the trick.
>>4905448Supporting, best thing we can do besides sit and wait.
>>4905467JEsus that's nasty, sorry for making light of it
>>4905414>Escalate it. Let one of them touch you, try to kill it that way.for fucks sake, this is the worst way to make first contact, but i guess we already survived to !BTs, unless the entity manifests itselfholy fuck, this captcha sucks major ass
>>4905414>Escalate it. Let one of them touch you, try to kill it that way.no pain no gain >>4905478I didn't even touch it yet it still forces me to use it
>>4905414Dumb idea, try and talk to it maybe? It isn't trying to hurt us
>>4905591.....because it can't. There is a literal wall preventing it from getting us.
>>4905591We did talk to it.Bro all it wants is SUCCAnd not the good kind you slip your masseuse $50 for.
>>4905610I say we suck them and steal their powers
>>4905689...do they even have powers?
Oh gawd... This is the third time QM has suggested a write in and it all is related to this arc. The death stranding arc... maaaaaaan, what do we doooooooooooooooooo. I don't remember if we have a phazer on the ship but I want one! And pew pew!!! Maybe that does it...>Shoot a phazer to the thingsif that is not possible>Go and talk to SHODAN. Beg, cry, shit, cum, threaten, flirt, argue... anything!!!maybe...>TAKE SHODAN'S CORE AND PUNCH ONE OF THE SHADOWS WITH IT. THE QUANTUM FLUFF WILL SUCCCC THE SHADOWLET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>4905698They're making us become religious by proximity and they can suck souls. Don't you want to be scary enough to literally put the fear of God into the xenos?Also the new captcha got me too
>>4905704Oh shit, I didn't think of that.>TAKE SHODAN'S CORE AND PUNCH ONE OF THE SHADOWS WITH IT.DO NOT DO THAT JESUS CHRIST YOU FUCKING BRAINDEAD SPEEDREADER!>>4905706That isn't really a power? Lets try the energy phaser if it doesn't shut down.
>>4905414>Go grab a phaser then try this>>4905448
>>4905704the best thing that comes to mind (other than challenging the entity to a fist fight, which we're already doing) is to wait out the event; that or manage to weaponize the shield, or somehow manage to get the ship flying.
>>4905706Clearly, the new captcha and the demons are related.
>>4905707Sorry... I know SHODAN might end because of all that slipspace noise but... :) David gotta survive. Maybe the (real) entity gets trapped inside the cube
>>4905742he better, we already lost the catgirl. F int he chat for our mentally broken crewmate
>>4905742Do you not understand what the core is? ITS NOT A DAMN DARK MATTER VACUUM, ITS JUST THE COMPUTER SHE SITS IN, TOSSING IT OUT DOES NOTHING BUT CRIPPLE THE SHIP!>>4905744She'll be fine when we get off world and make her some chocolate. If her species can eat chocolate.
>>4905749Trust the quantum fluff!!!!
>>4905749>ITS NOT A DAMN DARK MATTER VACUUM,....that's a good idea.could we try to capture this entity in our dark matter tanks?
>>4905831"Hey, why do those tanks rattle whenever we enter FTL?""Nothing to worry about, it's just the demon we shoved in there."
>>4905704>>TAKE SHODAN'S CORE AND PUNCH ONE OF THE SHADOWS WITH IT.
>>4905837>"Nothing to worry about, it's just the demon we shoved in there and we're actively using as fuel."FTFY
ookay... going mad swinging with a dark matter canister thing sounds smarter than my idea of sacrificing SHODAN and hoping for the best. I wonder if we can lift one of those
Sorry for tripfagging but the QM reads my quest and asked me to pass on a messageHe says he won't be able to post until the new captcha system unfucksvitself. Straight up doesn't appear for him
>>4905907Has he deleted his cookies and then refreshed his webpage?
>>4905907Thanks spooky, sorry about that.Alright lads, uhhhhh...It looks like the new captcha is just fucked on firefox, so i'm posting from the ad-riddled edge browser right now.Before you ask, yes, i've tried every fix except updating to the latest version of firefox which looks fucking awful and it's refusing to playing nice.Literally my only option is to switch browsers, and even edge seems to be shitting the bed since i've tried and failed to post this several times now.I guess i'll have to post updates like this until it's (hopefully) fixed, but this fucking sucks.I hope hiroshimoot and the botposters all die simultaniously of the world's most painful anal prolapse.
>>4905926Ah shit I use firefox.
If I had the spare cash I would buy both you and spooky 4chan passes. I read both your quests.
>>4905926Get Chrome. The Ublock Origin extension should clear most ads automatically, and you can even block elements on individual sites manually.
>>4905931if that doesnt work use adblock
>>4905931I'm working on it, i just haven't used chrome in about a decade so i've gotta re-learn it real quick.Do you know why all the text looks like it's in bold?It's killing my eyes.
>>4905907ghq was utterly basedsorry for not participating in your newer ones, but at least i was there from start to finish, 1-97
>>4905939I've been wanting to reread it myself lately, can thoroughly recommend if you're a weeb.
>>4905937Are you zoomed in? Doesn't look like that on my Chrome. I feel like there might also be a setting somewhere to change text formatting.
>>4905944Normal zoom. I'll just have to keep digging in the settings.
>>4905936Do not use AdBlock, they got outed a while back for taking bribes from advertisers.
>>4905937I think its related to the font chrome uses. You should be able to change it in the browser settings
Since you are using 4chan X and OneeChan, Have you tried just importing the settings? Might fix the issue. I have been going through the settings to see if there is any Bold options and I am seeing nothing. I will give you a heads up if I can find it.
>>4905946I use a combination of ublock origin, umatrix and noscript. That gives you the maximum amount of control over not just ads, but what the site itself can do.Also for youtube, use sponsorblock. It's an addon that uses user-submitted timestamps to cut out in-video advertisements (eg raid shadow legends)>>4905950Same font and size as on firefox, it just looks different for no reason from what i can tell. >>4905951I haven't, i've just been trying to get everything installed and set up properly
>>4905951No difference, it's just different.
>>4905931>ChromeA browser meant to spy and track you.
>>4905954It is what it is. I tried for hours to get it working on firefox, so it's either this or i can't post.
>>4905955What about palemoon or opera?
>>4905955I just used firefox >>4905959 and it works?Did u try moving the at the bottom of the captcha, or click the "Get Captcha" button for it to appear first?
>>4905962*moving the slider*
>>4905956I don't know how to tell you this pal but literally every single thing you use on your computer that is connected to the internet is tracked in some way shape or form. Don't matter what browser, VPN, adblocker, proxy bullshit you're using. Unless you made it yourself. But then you've got security experts working for [insert organization you hate here] to track your activity anyway.Online privacy is a myth. Just find the stuff that annoys you the least and stick with it.
>>4905962It literally just doesn't show up at all. There's nothing there.
>>4905965Have you tried restarting the computer? That might help, it usually helps even seemingly totally unrelated things.Also, what's the little white square in the bottom left? Have you tried clicking that?
>>4905964Problem: companies want your dataSolution: generate horrendous amounts of junk data utterly useless to themProblem: advertisers want you to see the ads they pay forSolution: generate false clicks to waste their money and cause their adspace rental to run out soonerIf you don’t use a falseclick generator you aren’t doing your part for the world
>>4905969It's the oekaki background color.Anyways, it's 1am here and i didn't mean to stay up this late reinstalling old browsers and trying to fix shit.I'll see you lads tomorrow, i guess.
>>4905973>not cutting out the middleman and performing legally questionable activities at select geographical locations in relations to certain economical organizationsDo you even sell soap, anon?
>>4905973AdNauseum does exactly that would recommend
>>4905907What quest you doing now? Ghq finished years ago I thought.
>>4905414This is definitely stupid, but... Yeah. Holy shit, you can't believe you're about to do this.The shadow demons have some space between them, like they're avoiding touching eachother. You don't know how they'll react once you pass the barrier though.But it's the only way you see of getting anywhere, so you're gonna do it. For real. You just... just gotta step through... ... ...Fucking hell, quit being a pussy and do it!You force your legs forwards one after the other to step through, just barely stepping outside of the barrier.The shadow demon reacts as if it was a matter of course, and slowly reaches down to plunge it's hand into your chest.Once again, the pain is indescribable... but you're ready this time. You wanted it, even.And you're going to take this opportunity to test something. As soon as the demon's arm is ripped apart, you try to grab it by the head.And it works... kind of.There's some small amount of resistance, almost like the air is thicker where he appears.You can't even come close to physically grabbing it, but you can disturb it's body in the moment where it attacks you.So you swing, delivering a massive uppercut straight through it's entire body, blowing it apart like a cloud of smoke on the wind.It screeches as it dies, and one again the particles that made up it's body swirls around before diving into your chest, stopping the immense pain you were feeling.You immediately dive back inside the barrier to catch your breath, but you watch as some of the shadow demons begin to back out and walk away."Didn't... hah... didn't like that... hah... did you, ya little shits?"They ignore you and begin searching around like they had been before, all of them eventually reaching out for something you can't see, and then dispersing.But there are still quite a few of them piled up at the edge of your shield, and you don't know how long exactly it'll hold out for.You can't take any more of being around them for the moment, so you head back inside and grab a drink of water to try and calm your nerves. You've been sweating profusely this whole time as well, which isn't good. Stay hydrated, kids.Cylia... it seems she's actually gone to sleep. You pull the covers down and find her there, crying. Her eyes are darting back and forth fitfully. She must be having a nightmare.Those things might be fucking with her brain, just like they fuck with yours. You don't know, but you know you don't like the idea of it.>Keep it up. You have a way to kill them now, you think. And it seems to scare some of them.>Actually, is there a dark matter bottle lying around here, somewhere? If you had an actual weapon...
>>4906025West blue seadogs, a one piece quest. It's good fun, check it out for sure!
>>4906210>Actually, is there a dark matter bottle lying around here, somewhere? If you had an actual weapon...
>>4906212Silver is best boy, BEST BOY!>>4906210So maybe it isn't eating our soul, but trying to pull a little bit of us over to the otherside? We are definitely eating the fuckers when we suck them up like that though.>Actually, is there a dark matter bottle lying around here, somewhere? If you had an actual weapon...>Grab any spare Phaser too, test it on the spooky bastards.>Keep it up. You have a way to kill them now, you think. And it seems to scare some of them. Lets play, how to kill a ghost!
>>4906210>Keep it up. You have a way to kill them now, you think. And it seems to scare some of them.Return to monke.Also, eat the fuckers, that’ll teach them!Fuck, new captcha is trash
>>4906025>>4906212This is the most obvious samefag shill in history.
>>4906210>Keep it up. You have a way to kill them now, you think. And it seems to scare some of them.We have no idea how dark matter or bottles thereof work. So we might be just as likely to blow the whole ship up as doing something useful.Let's just hope the absorbing part means we are gaining their power and not that we are getting our soul horribly corrupted.>>4906283Are you accusing OP of samefag shilling in his own thread for someone elses quest?
>>4906210>Actually, is there a dark matter bottle lying around here, somewhere? If you had an actual weapon...>Grab any spare Phaser too, test it on the spooky bastards.....i feel bad for cylia., she only wanted to eat meat but instead got mindfucked by space demons. guess we gotta add mental health benefits to our band of bounty hunters.
>>4906311Nothing some cuddling and ear rubs can't fix. And next time we come back were going to have power weapons to fight back and get our chicken dinner.
>>4906313who knows; maybe some dodos managed to stumble inside the ship.
>>4906316....I swear to god if they made a nest in the hour we have been gone, and clipped a power cable. They are all going to be eaten.
>>4906318>turns out that's the reason we can't leave.that would be equally hilarious and rage inducing.
>>4906320The only good thing to come of this is the fact they are really damn tasty.
>>4906210>Keep it up. You have a way to kill them now, you think. And it seems to scare some of them.
>>4906210>>Actually, is there a dark matter bottle lying around here, somewhere? If you had an actual weapon...Hiroshimoot you abominable cunt what the fuck are these capchas?
>>4906210>Cuddle Cyl for a bit, then grab a bottle
>>4906210>>Keep it up. You have a way to kill them now, you think. And it seems to scare some of them.
>>4906438I'm just going to say I think this is a bad idea. Just in case something goes wrong. So I can say I told you so.
>>4906446Sark matter bottle is winning methinks. So I don't think we will find out.
>>4906210>>>Actually, is there a dark matter bottle lying around here, somewhere? If you had an actual weapon...YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHO
What I believe is that the bottle's shielding will impact with the apparitions and send them flying, not that the bottle will phase through them and then whatever weird stuff the bottle has will succc them from inside out. If we had a vacuum on the other hand...>escape>remember the planet>invest in a dark matter vacuum>return to this planet>REVENGE>PROFITNow this is a respectable enterprise
>>4906484So Ghost Busters, but without having to worry about the Health and Safety committee.
>>4906484i was actually thinking that second part instead of the bottle actually being able to harm them. result is the same anyways, i suppose.
General question for the QM:Is Exterminatus a thing in this setting?If not, is it technically possible but nobody has been insane enough yet to come up with something like that?
>>4906563In any space-based setting it is possible, even if only by accelerating kinetic projectiles.
>>4906563the problem isn't the planet though, but whatever is making the slipspace anomaly. otherwise this would be a perfect resort planet, and we have perfect dibs for it
>>4906526Hey, whatever will happen it will be BONK
>>4906577kinetic bombardment works I guess, but it just hasn't got the same flair as a virus bombing or cracking a panet in two with massive explosions.>>4906586I didn't say anything about this planet.
>>4906611fair enough, but it was easy to assume you wanted to nuke the planet given our current situation
>>4906619Depending on how this plays out, we well might want to.
>>4906210God, these things just suck. If you could just touch them! If you had anything you could hit them with, you... you... wait a minute.This ship's warp drive runs on dark matter and energy or whatever, doesn't it? You know for a fact that dark matter bottles exist, which means there must be a way to manipulate it.Those bottles might be able to "touch" dark matter! The only problem is, do you have one that's not currently in use?You open up the door to the warp core, or the "Black Box Reactor" as SHODAN always calls it. You see why now, as there's a rapidly spinning black box at the center of the mechanism.The air is humming with energy in this room, which is apparently shielded from the rest of the ship. You can feel the thrumming in your chest, which you now realize is the same quiet thrumming you hear throughout the ship while at warp.There are two small bottles inserted into a fixture, almost like AA batteries in a child's toy. One of them is filled with something that looks like a gas of some sort. It's jet black, and yet somehow still manages to glow.The second one is filled with something that you recognize. Little black flakes of something resembling snow are flowing around inside the container, almost like a snow globe.The containers look identical, so you don't think it matters which one you smack a demon of the head with. Probably.But again, both of these are clearly in use, and quite hot to the touch in fact. If you pulled them out, you don't know what would happen.It's not like you have a way to turn everything off either, with none of the ship's computer functioning.But you still have one hope. You remember Sanig saying something about hoping to scavenge some bottles from the ship graveyard. He must be using dark matter and energy in his work, somehow.Then maybe in his workshop...A cursory look over the cargo bay reveals nothing, but these bottles must be valuable, right? Maybe he's hidden them somewhere, just in case. It's what you would do, after all.You start knocking on floor panels and tiles until you find something. There! One of the wall panels is loose. Sure enough, there's a pair of bottles in the empty space, along with a bunch of other crap."What is this stuff?"There's what looks like a honest to god 1950's ray-gun, a baggie filled with a plant of some kind, a metal box labeled "DO NOT TOUCH" and several crystalline rods contained in a pouch, to name a few.One thing that catches your eye is a printed photo, although it seems more like a metal plate that's been anodized somehow. There's two greys depicted on it, both wearing lab coats and posing with some oversized weaponry.You didn't take Sanig for the sentimental type.That's not what you're worried about right now, though.You grab one of the bottles and head to the weapon printer, only to realize that it's offline as well. Damn."Kyla might be a little annoyed, but..."You end up ripping that same metal rod out of the ship again.
>>4906941>You end up ripping that same metal rod out of the ship again.
>>4906941>a baggie filled with a plant of some kindhehe space weed
>>4906967not only he has spaceweed, but he also has spacemeth
>>4907020That's what I thought too, but space meth would probably be in pellet-like form instead of rod form.
>>4907047>>4906951>>4906955>kyla ends up making that part detachable, or just tapes a random pipe next to it.
>>4906941>You end up ripping that same metal rod out of the ship again.heh
>>4907057>David occasionally rips the original rod out anyways
>>4907057>>4907074Nah here's the real big brain play>kyla gets really pissed we keep vandalizing the rod>reinforces it to high heaven>nigh unassailable>some bad shit goes down on the ship>the rod being stuck in as it is becomes an anchor of some description that saves someone's life just by virtue of never coming loose
>>4906941HOLD UPHow does he have that written in English? The translators are down atm.
>>4907193That's a very good question, now isn't it?
>>4907193>>4907198Sanig was probably smart enough to figure we'd only be the one dumb, strong and creative enough to rip open the floor desperately looking for weapons to kill with.ounce of weed taped inside
>>4906941That poor rod is our beat stick now. Grandpa Sanig has a fun stash. And he either translates English, or he's been to Earth. We are smoking his weed with Cylia after this is over.>>4907101>We reenact the Chief giving back the bomb scene.>>4907198He's been to area 51 hasn't he.
>>4907198>>4907214What happens to Cylia if she smokes weed?
>>4907222She becomes s lazy stoner for life.But more importantly what happens if she smokes our meat for us?
>>4907234>But more importantly what happens if she smokes our meat for us?Ababbaga, huwhat? I guess that means she married us?
>>4907238I doubt she'd smoke dodo meat good enough for us to marry her on the spot.
>>4907240Ah, right, yeah. That's what you meant.
>>4906941Good thing we printed duct tape with all the random survival stuff at the start
>>4906941Okay, you can't use the weapon fab. Fine, that was a luxury anyways. You're not fucking helpless.This rod is going to be your handle, but you need to affix it to the bottle somehow. You start off by roughing up the surface with sandpaper.Sanig's workshop has a huge bottle of "Poly-Glue" which you understand is some sort of super-duper adhesive that makes cyanoacrylate glue look like elmer's.You cut up one of your shirts into long fabric strips, then completely soak those strips in poly-glue.After wrapping those strips around the roughed-up handle and the outside of the bottle, you bind it further using more strips of fabric that have been wrung into a rope of sorts.It's crude as hell, but it should work. You cure the glue by spraying it down with some sort of chemical hardener, and it sets like concrete in under ten minutes. Amazing...Honestly, you're not sure how tough the bottle is. It could be tough as hell or brittle as glass, but you'll just have to hope that the bindings hold it together, because this is all you've got.Makeshift warhammer in hand, you make your way back to the edge of the shield and stare one of the creatures down."I'm going to give you once chance to leave."You wait for a response. It takes a minute, but you get one..̵̟̹͝ ̶͍̰̞̻̃͊́̇͘.̴͕͍̻̤̻̍͌̀͆͊͒ ̸͓̂́.̴͍͖͓̗̈́̉̓̌̈́ ̸̢̯̦̤̯̦̀r̴̨̙̣̜͐ ̴̩͇̼̍̂ȩ̶̛̥͕̞͆̏̀͋͠ ̷̹̯͓͈̺͕͝f̷̫̀͂ ̸̱̫̣̇̽́ů̸͔͍͙̯̖̈́̽͊̀̌ ̴̠̳̘̭͂s̵͖̟̎̀ ̶̣̯̙̣̻̊e̸̢̨͉̠̐̒͌̐ ̴̻̦̳̝̳̼̀͐͑̐̀̐.̸̰̜̰͇͍̑̊͑̓͂ ̷̟͠.̵̨̟̈́͝ ̴̘́̈́.̴̢̛̹̹̮́"Good. Nobody can say i didn't try."Without warning, you swing your hammer straight through the shield and into the demon's head. Both the shield and the demon are blown apart where it struck!The shield quickly regenerates, but the demon does not. The particles that make up it's body simply float down into the ground like the rest that are falling from the sky.The demon's eyes are no longer on you, but on the hammer instead. They track it's movements carefully, and several of them once again disperse, trying to avoid death.Oh yes, you can work with this. Even if it takes all day, you can work with this.>Roll 1d100 best of 3>Higher is better
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>4907338
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4907338
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>4907338>>4907345Of ffs
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>4907348Wtf hiroshimoot, first the fucked capcha, now the fucked dice? Lets roll another one to see how cursed our luck is
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>4907338>>4907345bruh
>>4907350If only you were 2 mins faster...
>>4907345>>4907348........What the fuck did I come back too?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!>>4907350ROLL SOONER!
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>4907349
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>4907345>>4907348Hehe, dis gonna be good
>>4907356So... do you use crits and quest is ded, or do you not use crits?
Rolled 8, 43, 60, 68, 61, 3, 83, 58, 16, 52, 16, 56, 1, 76, 26, 22, 78, 7, 9, 2 = 745 (20d100)>>4907345>>4907348so this is one of the quests that we have to have our plans top notch because RN-FUCKING-GEESUS HATES US. FUCK.how the hell did that 1/10000 chance of getting double 1s happen?!?!i'm purging the dice anyways>>4907369i hope not. having fickle gods kill us based on the roll of a dice feels like a dick move. i'd rather -and space god spare me- have cylia be possessed or some shit like that
>>4907379>Those fucking diceJesus, 4chan was bad about the dice rolling low before, but this is fucking atrocious.>so this is one of the quests that we have to have our plans top notch because RN-FUCKING-GEESUS HATES US. Except RNJesus won't let our great plans work, because critfails make everything worse.>have cylia be possessed or some shit like thatDON'T BRING THAT EVIL ON HER!
>>4907369Crits will definitely make something special happen.Don't worry though, i'm not SOMNIUS.rocks fall everyone dies
>>4907390I find it so fucking funny that everyone on 4chan has the motto of "At least I'm not som"
>>4907390I say we threaten to cum inside the demons. Threaten them with a good time.
>>4907390So we're done here then. Welp, it was a good run while it lasted.>>4907391At least Som can look back and think, I'm famous on 4chan by being such a piece of trash.
>>4907387>Except RNJesus won't let our great plans work, because critfails make everything worse.what i mean is that our plans should have backups, for example, if we go on a spacewalk, we should inspect our suits before talking the walk, or have an extra backup system that can mitigate the eventual double 1
>>4907398Except with the dice showing as they are now, any redundancy is invalidated, because those will be forced to fail too. A downward slide of failure is still going to crash and burn if the dice will fuck it regardless of precaution. Hence>>4907345>>4907348>>4907343>>4907350
>>4907345>>4907348Well there goes our only hope
>>4907402yeah, but that will force the fail to appear somewhere else that wouldn't affect us that much. because -using that same spacewalk example-, rolling a 1 and going "oops! your main air supply and its backup failed!" is a bit too much.
>>4907407Forcing it to appear somewhere else is moot, when the dice make, EVERYTHING, fail.
>>4907390Would you believe that his DB quest was the first quest I ever drew stuff for?Feels like a lifetime ago.
>>4907409yeah, but it gives us more chances to get out of the situation easier because our plan of action is more structured instead of something that is cobbled together with ductape and has a lot of places where it can go horribly wrongalso, fuck you hiroshimoot and your stupid new captcha system
>>4907423Except with cascading failure, any hope is fleeting.
>>4907428i mean, a cascading failure is better than "we had no solid plan and we're turbofucked from the start". at least we can salvage something from whatever the cascading failure fucked; that's my whole point. having extra options when the inevitable happens
>>4907430The degree of the failures makes any plan fucked, at best we might get pyric victories, at best, critical fails on top of that can and will invalidate any plan.
>>4907433i'm not saying that having a proper plan will make us iron clad. again, my point is to have options to pick from; even if those options get fucked from a nat 1, we would be able to salvage something from them.
>>4907443Our functioning plan of swing with a bottle on a stick is critfailed, when the next time it can, and likely will, be sooo much worse.
>>4907446because its a halfassed planed for an event we weren't expecting. what i'm saying is for events we actually plan ahead, like the first bounty hunt we did
>>4907493And I'm telling you the plans won't matter when the dice say fuck you.
>>4907494and i'm telling you that even when the dice tell you fuck you, when we have a plan we have the option to fall back to whatever remains we have of it instead of bullshitting something up. its just a matter of having extra options for when shit hits the fan
>>4907345>>4907348>>4907350This is hilarious!!!I have never seen to fail crits followed by a late 99 before.
>>4907348>>4907345HUMANITY FUCK NO
Rolled 18 (1d100)Witness this digits
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>4907631no, YOU witness these digits!
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>4907639
>>4907639Kek, cursed quest confirmed.
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>4907643Cursed? This isn't even close to cursed yet. We'll fix that.
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>4907654wonder if we can get another 1 in this thread
4chan has redone dice to roll lower. But this might reverse if OP says we are flipping how we count rolls. So lowest to highest. If we get high rolls back to back. Then someone is fucking with our dice.
Rolled 19, 59, 15, 60, 96, 22, 1, 55, 73, 52 = 452 (10d100)This shit seems to happen whenever a HFY thread pops up.>>4907677Nothing more than a test. Like now. I want QM to say it though, in case someone that hates HFY. Troons, commies, the Shitted community posters in general that hate being human and cope with being trans or furries that work here for free. It wouldn't be to far out there that someone is altering dice rolls for the thread.
>>4907654What are you talking about?I got a one, two! Ah ha ha ha fucking kill me>>4907679>another 1
Rolled 79, 20, 73, 17, 33, 1, 58, 51, 8, 86 = 426 (10d100)>>4907679>only 2 above 60This isn't normal.>>4907680I want you and the other two Anon's to roll 10d100s with me. I want to check something.
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>4907679>rent free
Rolled 46, 29, 51, 83, 10, 69, 20, 76, 39, 65 = 488 (10d100)>>4907682>another fucking 1AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Rolled 11, 58, 75, 15, 33, 65, 24, 91, 13, 15 = 400 (10d100)>>4907682>3 above 60>>4907683Yeah, now if we can only get the troons out.>>4907684You will never be a woman.>>4907685>3 above 60 againSee what I mean. Either our thread is targeted with shit rolls because it's HFY. Or whatever Gook fucked up again made the dice rolling worse.
Rolled 48, 58, 91, 67, 80, 31, 16, 40, 100, 27 = 558 (10d100)>>4907687>3 above 60>>4907356Soooo, pretty sure Gook fucked our dice system. Can we say those are crit successes and go from there? One more test too.
>>4907690So out of all these dice, consistently only 3 get above 60. The crit hundred being there means very little unless this last roll has another.
Rolled 38, 13, 43, 90, 87, 36, 77, 20, 56, 24 = 484 (10d100)>>4907691>>4907690oops
Rolled 28, 4, 18, 29, 54, 81, 96, 52, 16, 31 = 409 (10d100)>>4907692Yeah. Gook absolutely fucked up the dice, or our thread is targeted for low rolls because we tend to use roll higher for ours. As it seems now, we can't use that system and hope ultra thought out plans will prevent the game ending with 3 in 10 chances to maybe get decently high above a 60
>>4907695Jesus, I guess even 3 in 10 is generous too.
Wtf are you idiots smoking? The dice function is just a poorly coded time based seed generated rng function, so it clusters tons, its been this way since it was first kludged together.
Rolled 86, 79, 57, 78, 30, 90, 35, 61, 7, 1 = 524 (10d100)>>4907687>You will never be a woman.lmao, triggered so fast?
>>4907702That's nice broken human. Now roll one more time. I want to check if the mentally ill get preference.
>>4907700yeah, the numbers are alright. the median numbers of those 10d100s are between 400 and 600, so they are working perfectly; its just that we're getting cursed numbers
>>4907704lmao, cry more. go drink more beans
>>4907705Another thing to consider is threads dont get their own time seeds, they all use the same one so if other threads are rolling at the same time, you get more clusters, outside of your individual threads norms, but in line with the rest of the board.
What are with the rolls in this thread?
>>4907251Smoke the meat with Sanigs herbs and cheese.It was a double double entendre.
>>4907345>>4907348Guys, we should have stepped out of the shield and started swinging, now some of them are gonna make it inside the barrier or inside the ship!
>>4907784We should have just looked for the owners manual for the ship to figure out how to get everything in order to take off.duh
>>4907791>Step one: turn on your AI>Step two: fasten your seatbelt>Step three: Issue the verbal command "take off!"
>>4907798Now my dick is stuck in the exterior door's frame. Great instructions, dickweed.
>>4907781I see, that may be just what is necessary to help her too.>>4907791Step 1, have a functioning translator. Because we can't fucking read.
>>4907798Pretty sure our AI is le kill
>>4907808>Because we can't fucking read.Yes we can. Just not literal moon runes. Is a joke boyo. You really think a black ops ship bothered to keep the fuckin handbook in the glove box? Fat chance.
>>4907826Grey's love their little safety measures. There might be one. Still can't read it. But there probably is a emergency situation or repair guide.
>>4907826Black Ops mean the designated ship flyer stands a more than usual chance of dying. In which case keeping a manual handy for the remaining retards is just good SOP.
>>4907817We JUST gave her a backup storage. She's fine once we reboot things. She has minor memory loss at best compared to total eradiation.>>4907808Reboot the fucking translator chip
>>4907922You haven't given it to her yet. You ran straight from the shop to the ship, and left to go hunting shortly afterwards.
so....anyone wanna guess what horrors that 1 will bring upon us?
>>4908034No. Because the last thing I want to do is give Cochrane ideas.
>>4908042>>4908034too late I already did
>>4907338A big grin spreads over your face as you realize these things can be killed.Your grip on the makeshift hammer tightens, and you you get ready to swing it again.But as you bring it up, many of the demons scatter away from the shield. They aren't stupid, it seems.They are however, slower than molasses in winter. If they won't make this easy, you'll just have to put in the work.You step out of the shield, which is blown back around you as the hammer head passes through.Now outside, you're still surrounded by them and you still feel that fear, but it's being pushed back.None of them seem willing to approach, so you charge at them instead.They're so slow, you can get in three or four kills with one big swing. A dozen or so of them are scattered before they begin to spread out.As you kill them, more and more simply leave, and you notice the falling black snow grow lighter and lighter.The gravity on this planet is light, and so is the "hammer" you've made, but you've been swinging it almost constantly for over an hour, chasing these things around as they run from you.You're starting to get tired, when suddenly you hear something."Error. Error. Massive faults detected. Flashing memory. Rebooting.""Huh? SHODAN! You're awake! What the fuck happened?!""Rebooting... Rebooting..."Shit, you hope she's not fucked up.You spend another half hour just smashing demons into dust when finally, she actually says something."Captain. something has happened. Please respond.""SHODAN! I'm here, are you alright?""Blue box status is normal, Captain. The ship has several major faults, but nothing that would impair flight.""That's good. Now can you tell me, what in the absolute fuck just happened?""I do not know, captain. It would appear that the ship has experienced a massive surge of wide-area fluctuating electromagnetic activity. Most electronics were temporarily disabled or outright shorted.I was knocked offline as well, although electromagnetic flux should have had next to no effect on me. Another force must have been at play.""What about the black snow? The shadow demons?""I do not understand, captain.""Look through my fucking helmet cam, there's one right here in front of me!"There's a long silence before SHODAN responds. You smash the demon in front of you during that time."I do not understand what i am looking at, Captain.""That's what i'm talking about! These things showed up out of nowhere!""Captain, i do not see anything within your field of view, except for trees and shrubs.""...What?""I do not see any demon, nor black snow of any sort.""...Does it not show up on camera?""It is possible. Allow me to run some scans, Captain.""...""Scanning complete. There appears to be a massive dark matter signature in the surrounding area. It should not be visible without specialized equipment.""What? Well then why can i see it with my own two eyes?!""I do not know. You should not be able to, Captain."
>>4908070>A big grin spreads over your face as you realize these things can be killed.the only thing they fear is us
Oh noThis seems to be going MUCH too well for the rolls we got...
>>4908070Continue to kill. Ask SHODAN why dark matters go inside me. Are we gonna get dark matter cancer?
>>4908073better yet, ask SHODAN if she's able to get spaceborn. we need to get out of here ASAP (and hope some dodos managed to get inside the ship)
>>4908070>Get the fuck back on the ship and get it far away from this place>Ask SHODAN about the short and long term affects of Dark Matter exposure on organic specimens>Go check up on Cylia
Actually now that I think about, Cylia probably heard our untranslated yelling and whatnot.I wonder what she thinks about that pure unfiltered Alabama drawl.
>>4908084I did some research and the short term effects on dark matter and dark energy are the instant loss of life. Quite the big boom. Pretty flash
>>4908092Are you thinking of antimatter? I'm probably wrong, but I don't know anything about dark matter making things big boom
>>4908092yeah, that's antimatter. dark matter and dark energy so far can't be interacted with in any shape way or form
>>4908092Oh goodness me, and here I was thinking dark matter and energy were so weakly interacting with observable matter that we can only detect its presence by inference from gravitic measurements.
>>4908090I mean angry yelling has a whole different feel to it. Non suicidal or stupid people have a healthy amount of trepidation when someone starts yelling, a primal sort of feeling. I can only imagine what aliurms hear when a human really cuts loose in the shouting department is quite unsettling indeed.
>>4908070>Double Nat 1 has suspiciously little immediate impactYep, we've got ghostcancer bois. Or we've been marked by something beyond our comprehension, and it'll come to collect later.
>>4908232>we may be able to punch Warp God in the face down the lineRadical.
>>4908049Whatever comes next, I blame you.
>>4908283Can't blame me when you can't find me....IP CHANGE NOW!
>>4908070"Well whatever they are, i guarantee 100% they caused all of this.""Do you have evidence for any of this, Captain?""Evidence? Do i look like a fuckin' scientist? I'm not submitting a research paper, SHODAN. I'm telling you what i see. Even if it's nothing but a gut feeling, you best take that shit as gospel.""That seems unwise, Captain.""Maybe so, but i trust my gut. It's kept me alive all these years. Fucking shadow demons, SHODAN. Made of goddamn dark matter.""It is true that the secrets of dark matter mining are well guarded, and many strange incidents involving warp travel have been reported. Perhaps such a thing is not impossible.""Yeah no shit it's a secret when there's shit like this out there."You punctuate your sentence by smashing another demon. They're really sparse now, you reckon you're almost done."...Captain, it seems that one of the ship's circuits has been fused open. I am unable to deactivate the ship's slipspace sheath, and there is a continuous draw on our dark matter and dark energy reserves. It will need to be repaired before we can depart.""How hard is that going to be? Can you walk me through it?""It will not be difficult. It is a simple pair of metal pins that appear to have been welded together. You should be able to force them apart with a spudger.""Thanks, by the way. That shield kept those fuckers off me while i figured something out.""You are welcome, Captain. Although i have no memory of the incident.""You don't?""I do not. My last memories are of our descent into the planet's atmosphere. Everything after that was lost when i was forced offline.""Oh, that reminds me. I bought you a memory crystal. It's over 100 petabytes, if i'm remembering right.""Thank you, Captain. That is quite a significant amount of storage, and i will gladly make use of it. Although, it would have been nice had you installed it before the incident.""Yeah, probably. But then, i didn't think we'd have to deal with this shit. How hard are they to install, by the way?""The ship has several open slots for crystal storage matrices. As long as it has not been preformatted with the Grey's proprietary storage system, i should be able to use it freely.""Sooooo...?""Simply insert it into the slot, Captain.""Got it. Hey, you reckon you can find any dense pockets of dark matter around me? That's probably where these things are congregating.""I am unsure. My sensors were never meant to be used in such an abstract fashion... but yes, it seems possible. There are three dense pockets nearby. I will mark them on your visor's HUD.""Thanks. Here, here and here, huh? Alright.""Captain, you are headed in the opposite direction of the readings.""I know. I'm not looking for more of them, i'm looking for food.""Captain?""We came here for meat, goddamnit. Do you really think i'm leaving without any? Fuck that, especially after what i've been through today."
>>4908070Hmmm.>>4908492On one hand, more meat. On the other. Is this a trick of the fucking ghosts?
>>4908492>"Simply insert it into the slot, Captain."hehehehehehe...
>>4908505No Anon, no, we mustn't lewd the ship...yet.
>>4908506Let's install hardlight emitters all around the ship and let her make her own body she can manifest.Btw, I don't think we have established that it actually is a he or a she or whether those are meaningful categories in the eye of an AI.
>>4908556>>4908542Her voice is clearly feminine.A lot of AI's choose a feminine persona, because people like them more.
>>4908568And i dropped my trip again.Still having lots of issues with the captchas, by the way. I currently have to open up an incognito window in a different browser just to post, which means i can't use my rice and have to re-enter my trip every time.This fucking sucks dick.
My theory is that we have been marked with dark matter shenanigans from our critfail killings. Making FTL travel have a x% chance of spawning black snow demons. We might have to figure out or aquire some cellar field equivalent.
>>4908232I feel the 1s are being presented as us not having a way to >write options In the quest updates
Yesterday I fell asleep reading on quasar, cosmic rays, dark matter, dark energy... what the fuck is a gluon I almost overslept and got late to the hospital... anyway yeah! Just jam it in, David. So one tank has dark energy and the other is dark matter. Dark matter has death stranding flakes all around it and it is safe to say that BT dudes are made out of dark matter and not dark energy. What was the distinction between the two? Last night I got the idea that everything is a particle in the end, so whatev. Different particles... then why call it energy? what is an energy anyway.So! David drove the enemy entity away, by tearing too many tentacles or smashing shadows for the thing to handle. Before David runs off and the tanks end up empty, could he at least grab the other empty tank? I trust two tanks are better than one.
>>4908692Dark Energy is the generic term that we use to describe ----whatever it is---- that is causing the universe to expand at an ever-increasing rate. It is a placeholder term for something totally unknown.Dark Matter is a similarly unknown substance. It refers to the fact that observable matter in our universe only account for some 20% of observed gravitational readings. 80% or so of the mass of the universe is not picked up on our various means of detection even though we know something is there because we can see gravitational interactions going on that indicate something having mass MUST be in a given region. Again, it is a placeholder term for something we know exists but don't know what it is.
My understanding of particle physics is more than a bit simplified since i'm not a physicist, but i can explain it to you as i understand it (albeit even more similified), which will be good enough for the quest.Particles ARE energy.Everywhere in space, there are fields. These fields simply allow for the existence of certain subatomic particles if the field has enough energy in a particular spot.You can think of it like binary ones and zeroes. If there's enough energy, a particle exists. If there isn't, then a particle does not exist.When enough energy exists to create a particle in multiple fields at once, those particles can then bind together and form atoms.Although some fields don't actually produce real physical particles and only exist to "carry" forces like gravity. Photons are also subatomic particles that don't bind to create atoms, but do produce a particle.But anyways.When those atoms fuse together, you then get heavier atoms. This happens naturally in stars as they fuse elements in their core, up to iron.Then, if the star is large enough, it explodes and further fuses particles into somewhat heavier elements.But the extremely heavy elements only form from neutron stars.Neutron stars are basically gigantic atoms, formed from smaller atoms that have been smushed together really, really hard.When the neutron stars are ripped apart or collapse into black holes, some of their matter gets ripped off and/or explodes, and the smushed-together atoms that made it up settle into chunks that are larger than could normally be made through fusion.That's where gold and uranium and the like come from.So subatomics particles are made up of points of energy in these particle fields.When they bind together, they form atoms.When atoms bind together, they form bigger atoms.But in the end, it's all energy.What humans tend to think of as "energy" are things like photons, neutrinos and electrons that have little or no mass and kind of exist on their own.But we don't really know much about dark energy and dark matter, except that they exist and we can't see them.So you can just consider dark matter as being "Matter Like" and dark energy as being "Energy Like" with both having exotic (read: magical) properties for the sake of the quest.Of course, it's all insanely more complicated than that, but it wouldn't make for much fun if we observed all the nitty gritty details.
>>4908733>Photons are also subatomic particles that don't bind to create atoms, but do produce a particle.Sorry, that should have been>Photons are also subatomics particles that don't bind to create atoms, but they are themselves real particles
>>4908726>>4908733Physicist here.TL;DR: my advice is to handwave technical details.Matter or particles that are sometimes associated with FTL travel (or, equivalently, time travel) are tachyons and exotic matter. Both are hypothetical. Dark Energy in condensed form might act as exotic matter and allow for building an Alcubierre drive. This is as plausible as fiction typically gets, but don't expect it to appear in real life. Mankind will die in ressource wars caused by climate change before producing it.
>>4908542Can hard light make warm lubricating liquids? Boatfucking aside, the anti-boarding possibilities are endless if the emitters are well hidden and protected enough. Death spikes covering all interior surfaces, spawning cover and concealment for defenders, anti-Gs for low g crew members, fake rooms and labyrinths, etc. Like turning the ship into a carnival haunted house/house of mirrors.Recreationally, Dave can show the crew what earth and his home looks like after making the VR assets with brain-scan rendering software, spawning any convenient furniture you want, or just plain being a degenerate and dicking anything you can think of.Imagine the star trek holodeck but the entire ship. But what are the power requirements if system like this can be installed? Must be plenty for 'game balance reasons'
>>4908846How do we know that dark matter isn’t just regular matter we can’t see from Earth? Why did we have to propose a new form of matter?
>>4908938I think the short answer is "because if it was just regular matter we can't see from Earth then there'd be some evidence it's regular matter we can't see from Earth but there's nothing". Imagine you had a theatre screen, and someone put an orange in front of the projector to cast a shadow onto the screen. Then they put an apple there. Then a <<insert several other solid, opaque objects here>>. This whole time you've been writing down detailed observations of each shadow and their common features. Then finally whoever this is puts a slightly tinted glass disk between projector and screen. You'd now see a distortion in the projection and a slight bit of shadow on the screen. You'd be able to tell clearly that though whatever is casting this shadow shares some properties with the things you've been observing hitherto, it's also clearly something fundamentally different. So much different in fact and so mysterious that you might as well just come up with a new name for whatever the fuck this thing is. tl;dr if it was regular matter we just can't see we have ways of knowing that and would observe telltale signs that was the case.
>>4908938I think this video will give you all the explanation you need.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZe5J8SVCYQ
>>4908492"Captain, i cannot recommend going hunting alone, considering the circumstances.""The animals on this planet are so goddamn dumb that i barely even consider them to be alive, no less a threat. If it's the shadow demons, i've got my hammer. This won't take long.""Very well, Captain.""Just one thing. Let me know when Cylia wakes up, alright?""Crewmember Cylia is already awake, Captain. She is currently drinking from the kitchen sink, without a glass.""Really? That's good. Patch me through."..."Done.""Cylia! Are you alright?!"You hear the sound of coughing and sputtering on the other side."David? What the hell happened? Did i get hit in the head? I've got a splitting headache...""You don't remember?""Uh... Well, the last thing i remember is... oh wow, that food...""Ah, shit. The spitroast is probably burnt all to hell by now.""What happened, David?""Black snow. Did you see them? The demons?""Huh?""They... No, nevermind. It's better if you don't remember. All you need to know is, we were attacked by something really bad, and i took care of it.""Okay. Where are you right now? Are you okay? I can head over right away.""No, absolutely not. Do not leave the ship, no matter what. It's not over yet, i just have some things to grab before we go.""Wait, they're still out there? Then what the hell are you doing?!""I'm getting our meat, and a breeding pair.""...Just be careful, alright?""Of course."Well, you're glad she's alright. You can relax a bit more knowing she's not a vegetable or something.But now it's time to get down to business. First off, you start by heading back to the camp site. It wasn't actually all that far from the ship, but it really felt like it while you were trying to run there.When you get there, though..."Woah."Your radio starts crackling heavily as you approach the site."C-pta-n, i a- detec--g a --caliz-- geoma-e--c st--r- in you- v-c-----*"Come again? Hello?"Well, you got the gist. Right in front of you, one of your cast iron frying pans has crushed and crumpled up like a ball of tinfoil, and is floating in midair.Another one seems to have rocketed straight through a tree, leaving a slot-shaped hole in the trunk. It's nowhere to be found.Anything made of metal that existed here in the camp is either gone, or floating.There must be some seriously crazy magnetic fields going on right here.You don't dare to get any closer. The little bits of metal in your helmet are bad enough, but you can feel the pistol in your holster actually trying to drag you in.As you walk off, you radio comes back in."I will repeat. Captain, i am detecting a localized geomagnetic storm in your vicinity. Do not approach it if you have anything metallic on your person.""Thanks, SHODAN. I can see that."Setting your equipment down where it won't suck you into the sky or punch a hole through your chest, you make sure anything metallic is left behind and head back in.
>>4909008The fuck is this shit now? This is like One Piece weather.
>>4909093Maybe QM has gone full deep-dive and this is a sort of mixup of scifi dark matter/40k warp shenanigans and STALKER's C-Consciousness and Noosphere bullshittery. That would explain why the planet reacted to sentient beings coming close, but the dodos do just fine.
>>4909098It may not even be the damn planet reacting to us, it may just be normal for this shit to happen here. The Dark Matter Demons and what may be their...nests(?), not withstanding. What with that actually coordinated assault. >>4909101What we need is Sanig reacting to our bullshit responses to said STALKER events.....actually, when we find Earth, we should show him the games and the books, this might be some knowledge from beyond dropped to the human psyche at this point. Or more Grey fuckery, whichever comes first.
>>4909105What are the chances he'll know exactly what we found, and that he knows a way to clean the recordings to show THEM showing up?
>>4909111Trips Sanig knew Russians. Which would explain some things.
>>4909098Its the warp doing warp fuckery to a part of planet
>>4909098>>4909093What sort of properties do you think dark matter might have, given what you've seen so far?and how much dark matter do you think rained down into the planet over the course of those couple hours?
>>4909366It's fucky and it makes you feel like Satan is giving you a fiery rimjob on your soul itself.As for spoiler, at least three.
>>4909366Complex and capable of creating its own stable laws of physics in an independent parallel mirror dimension, and thus able to harbor biological ecosystems that evolves daemons that sometimes spookily interacts with our physical world. It's The Warp, the Immaterium.Enough of a warp storm to make an Imperial navigator lose sight of the Golden Throne's beacon and lose his shit
>>4909008Most of your gear is still here, thankfully. That's mostly due to just about everything being made out of some form of plastic out in space, unless you make it yourself.Your backpack does have a few shrapnel holes in it from the few metal items that were in there, but it's good to go, overall.You grab Cylia's bow and arrows while you're at it. Fortunately it's made mostly out of plastic and titanium, to keep the weight down for her.As you suspected... the dodo you had roasting is completely burned on the bottom, and likely uncooked on the other side.Actually, wait. Are there even germs on this planet, if there are no predators?No, people have come here before. Surely there must be.But then, wouldn't the germs have wiped out these creatured, who would have had no immune systems...?Questions for later.With SHODAN occasionally guiding you, you manage to find a spot that's particularly far from any pockets of demons.And that's where you find the space dodos. Only... there's something wrong with them. Five or six are huddles up together in a group, dead.Two more are running around a tree constantly, and don't even seem to notice your presence. One of them quickly falls over dead from what looks like a heart attack, and then the second one trips over it and smashes it's head into a rock.Several more dodos are just scattered about the area, standing in one place and just shivering intensely."I guess you-"The second you speak, a cacophony of squawks rings out as the dodos collectively shit themselves."I guess you little shits have a fear response after all."And it seems like they have no idea how to deal with it. So you and Cylia weren't the only ones affected and even these birds that have never felt fear before are experiencing it right now, and it's literally giving them heart attacks."Alright, now i'm no chicken sexer, so how do i tell you bastards apart? ...Ah, whatever. I'm sure Kyla or Sanig can figure it out."You reach down to grab one of the dodos by the neck like you did before, but this time it actually bites you.Gently, mind. It's probably never attacked anything but fruit before, but it still actually tried to bite you."It's alright, little guy. Come on, let's go."The dodo didn't have much more than one attempt in it, and you manage to wrap a rope around it's neck.After you've got several more dodos wrangled, you start making your way back to pick up your gun and hammer, then back to the ship.With SHODAN feeding you information, it's easy to avoid pockets of demons, although there is still the occasional stray.You make it back to the ship with only one of your dodos falling over dead, then drag them through the shield and up the ramp.Surprisingly, as soon as they pass through the shield they seem to relax quite a lot."Cylia, i'm home! SHODAN, are we ready to leave?""I have been ready to leave for some time, Captain. Crewmember Cylia has assisted with the repairs."
>>4909737Hell eah, dodos aquired!
>>4909737Well shit, the warp storm might not be a common occurrance in the planet if the Dodos are that afraid of it.It might be that the ship triggered it somehow, or the ghost daemons only awaken when a sapient creature appears.
>>4909737Aaawweee that's cute. I bet their bites are too weak to break skin. Can we make adorable hats and neck scarfs for these things?
>>4909909Better to have multiple breeding pairs, just in case.Also it would means more eggs, and that is also a good thing.The fear theory is good, it could explain why Cylia blanked out when it happened.Now the question is why David could see them. Maybe humans are naturally more sensitive to dark matter beings, and that those shadow demons that some people see during sleep paralysis are actually real.
>>4909909We also need the rest for breeding purposes. We dont know the lifespan of these things, and the more that can give us offsping, the better
>>4910148Oh god, what if they are like sunfish and the reason why they still exist is because they are stupidly fertile?
>>4909981You were so nice writing about it it is now cannon It seems our motive is now mining tech>but David, why do you want to risk your live by stealing mining tech>i have a score to settle.
>>4909981I'm not so sure. The Greys in the scout ship that abducted us had no indication that they were familiar with humanity. If they'd been studying us for some time then they'd probably have had better procedures for containing us, avoiding being caught on radar, and avoiding being nuked to death
>>4909981The shadow demons appeared in all sorts of forms for David. Many were humanoid, but many were also not. Zone of Terror is a good term, for sure.However they manifested, that's what they actually physically look like. It's not different for each person.
>>4909737About that time, Cylia walks in, wiping sweat and grease from her forehead."You're back? And you got a lot of them, that's good.""Yeah. Hey, can you come with me real quick? I just need to see about something.""Sure, what are you...? David, stop! That's the reactor room!""I know. I want you to look at this bottle of dark matter and tell me what you see.""What? We can't go in there while it's running!""Why not?""Because it's bad for you! All the guidebooks say so!""And do they say what exactly about it is bad?""Well, no... just that, if the bottles get ruptured, it could be bad.""So don't rupture them. Come on, i need to know whether you can see it or not.""But...""Come on!""Eh..."Cylia finally walks in after you push her towards it a bit."Now tell me. What do you see when you look inside those bottles?""Uhm... nothing, really? I mean, it's dark matter... no, maybe there's a bit of a shimmer?""So you can't see it after all.""What do you mean?""Cylia, i can see the dark matter in those bottles clear as day. They look just like the black snow that fell over us while we were out in the woods.""What?! Oh gods, i hope i don't get some sort of super cancer...""Could have been worse than that. It wasn't just snow, Cylia. There were these creatures that formed out of it, and they were hunting us.""...What?""Just by being near them, i felt an indescribable fear. You were freaking out, and i think you actually lost consciousness once we got back to the ship.""...""I couldn't touch them. They passed through things just like dark matter itself, but they could touch me. They tried to reach into my chest and take something. Now i'm not a religious man, but...""Stop!"Cylia seems upset. Her fur is standing on end, and she's gritting her teeth. She's got that thousand yard stare going on right now..."What's wrong?""Just... stop. I know what you're talking about, and i don't want to talk about it.""Alright, i understand. Just one thing, please. Can you give me a name?""...Wraiths."With that, she runs off to her room and locks the door."SHODAN, do you know what she's talking about?""I'm sorry, Captain. I have no such information on file. However, i will be able to download a significant amount of information to be made available on the go, once we return to Xebric station.""Alright. We shouldn't stick around any longer than we have to, anyways. Can you fly us out of here?""Initiating atmospheric launch procedures... error. Anomaly detected in the flux injection port. Compensating. Success."You feel the ship lurch as it lifts off, and then it smooths out as the inertial dampeners kick in.You're worried for a minute there that something might happen before you can get away, but everything seems alright.Honestly, you're exhausted. You leave the flight to SHODAN and collapse into bed, still holding your hammer, just in case.
>>4910266We were told in the first(or second) thread that the greys tend to go to ubcharted planets to see what life forms they cand find and abduct them for research
>>4910312>"Initiating atmospheric launch procedures... error. Anomaly detected in the flux injection port. Compensating. Success."
>>4910312Ask SHODAN if she's cool that we get her exterior hull painted.
>>4910315The fact we can survive Terror Zone contact makes their find a good or a bad thing I wonder.>>4910312Huh, so she really couldn't see them...unless they need to be out of the bottle first?>Cylia seems upset. Her fur is standing on end, and she's gritting her teeth. She's got that thousand yard stare going on right now...>"Just... stop. I know what you're talking about, and i don't want to talk about it.">"Alright, i understand. Just one thing, please. Can you give me a name?">"...Wraiths."Nevermind she knows exactly what we spent the last few hours beating up with our bottle stick. And she needs some hugs.>"Initiating atmospheric launch procedures... error. Anomaly detected in the flux injection port. Compensating. Success."Did we just get a fucking stowaway?>>4910324Nooo, ask her where the fuck the flux injection port is, and if she can lock the room down.
>>4910312>Initiating atmospheric launch procedures... error. Anomaly detected in the flux injection port. Compensating. SuccesAw fuck, space dracula got inside our ship
>>4910327Imagine if the double 1 already killed David and its game over but QM is making it a long detailed recount of the events leading to his death
>>4910459>the rest of the gqme we play as cylia who now has space ptsd on top a broken pride
>>4910312Ok, David is more sensitive to dark matter. Now we need to test other humans to see if it's everyone.>>4910327She may know because of spooky stories. We need to talk to Kyla about it, she said she was changed after a warp jump. Or was it Cylia? Their names are too similar, I sometime mix them up.I bet the shadow demons are one of the reasons to not look outside during a jump, since the majority of races are herbivores, they might die of fright due to the Zone of Terror tm, just like the Dodos.
>>4910312>Make shodan guide you on checking up the flux injection port and the whole ship to see if everythingis in order, bet david watched alien and he knows to never ignore anything apparently irrelevant on a space ship, be it noises, random errors, warnings or anything abnormal
>>4910474Of course do that before docking on the space station
>>4910312NEW CREWMEMBER HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>4910475Good luck with that; david is fast asleep right now, and i have thw feeling he'll wake up after SHODAN docks herself
>>4910312>Initiating atmospheric launch procedures... error. Anomaly detected in the flux injection port. Compensating. Success.Woah new crew member Also when do we get Wraith powers? How many do we have to succ?
>>4910488I am certain david can reliably make others shit themselves without any dork magic. About phasing through stuff... that's gay, he can just JUGGERNAAAAUT through
>>4910495Maybe for the pacifists but most predators aren’t scared of us when we first meet. Plus the idea of watching someone have a heart attack as this god of war approaching them can’t be harmed is a pretty funny idea.
>>4910312>>4910327>Flux injection portSomething that injects flux into the thrust nozzles to prevent metal oxidation?
>>4910312>"Initiating atmospheric launch procedures... error. Anomaly detected in the flux injection port. Compensating. Success."https://youtu.be/nPQ7om598OM?t=87Something's here with us.
>>4910464Didn't we make a warp jump while looking outside near the beginning of the quest?
>>4910322Yeah, I think whatever that is, it's related to the critical failures and we are fucked.
>>4910312Although you fell asleep easily, your sleep is fraught with nightmares. You're... somewhere. It's not home, but it's somewhere back in alabama. A farm of some sort.There's a tornado coming, so you scramble into the barn. There's a hatch that leads underground inside, so you dive in... but it wasn't a storm shelter.You fall, and you fall, and you fall. Down a deep pit with crumbling walls of yellow crust, until you hit the bottom. It stinks of rot and death.Down there in the darkness, you can barely see around you. But there are things here. Dried up husks, all hunkered together in the fetal position, not even breathing.But worse, there are flesh hounds, like mangey dogs with open wounds that are all muscle and jaws. They chase you immediately, and the noise wakes the husks.You run through the tunnels, avoiding them for as long as you can, but the dogs are catching up to you.So you jump up and cling to the walls of the tunnels, climbing up to escape being mauled to death.You climb and you climb, but the crusty rock is like dried pus and flakes away, making it difficult to make any progress.Worse yet, there are even more husks even up here. They cling to the walls and blend in with their dried, discolored skin, grabbing at you and threatening to send you back down the hole.It's infuriating. You stab your hands deep into the walls and smash the husk's head, watching it crush like paper and then fall into the darkness.You hear a screech as all the husks you'd been avoiding wake up at once and begin climbing after you, biting and clawing like ants defending their hill.Foot by foot, inch by inch, you climb your way up until you see a spot of light at the top, killing husk after husk as they block your way.And finally, you reach the top. The light is blinding after the darkness you've been in, but you welcome it.Only after crawling out and seeing that everything else had been wiped away do you realize where you were.You were in hell....As you come to that realization, something jolts you awake.You spring up and throw a wild punch at it out of reflex, only barely adjusting it's course as you realize who it was.Your fist swings past her head and lands against the wall, punching a hole straight through the thin sheet metal.Sparks burst out of the panel along with a puff of smoke as you withdraw your hand."WOAH! David, calm down! It's me!"It's Cylia. Cylia is here. It's okay."The computer said something was wrong, that your heart rate was off the charts... are you alright? You're covered in sweat.""...Don't come into my room when i'm sleeping. I get jumpy.""Sorry.""It's fine. I'm fine. I was just... dreaming. How close are we?""It'll probably be another twenty minutes. But, we've been having all sorts of weird issues with a bunch of different systems. The computer said it's probably magnetic damage.""...SHODAN, run a scan on the inside of the ship. Is there any dark matter where there shouldn't be?"
>>4909366Personally. I'm going with the universe is a simulation theory.Basically think of the full universe (Regular matter and energy) as one layer in photoshop.The layers under the current layer we inhabit are exotic/dark matters that normally don't interact.Phenomena from Dark matter is essentially software bugs/glitches/featuresSince the wraiths don't really react to the layer we're on, whatever happened forcibly caused them to be able to semi interact with us in at least one of their dimensions. Eg them being a 3d being interacting with a 2d character (us)Since Dark matter tech is used to position hack around in this setting I'm expecting random glitchy teleportation side effects that reset themselves when the computer that is the universe course corrects. Eg Our heart suddenly teleports 6 feet away before unceremoniously going back to where it's supposed to. We start blinking. Whether it's in and out of existence or constant teleportation between two points would be up to the QM.Alternatively the universe is SimCity and the wraiths are a different save file(possibly upgraded version of the game. eg SimCity 200) with different physics.
>>4910761Thank goodness that cylia is our right hand, otherwise i dont think she could handle all the accidental murder attempts and cosmic hprrors that come her way
>>4910761I am still of firm belief we should get wraith powers.
>>4911595We'll be lucky if we don't end up getting cancer.
>>4911599We'll be lucky if we just get regular cancer instead of super space cancer.
>>4910761"Negative, Captain. I had the same line of thought, and have already run numerous scans. However, i cannot deny that something appears to be wrong.""Shit. Could one of them have gotten in? When i swung the hammer through the shield, maybe?""I could not say, Captain. I have no information on the so-called "Wraiths" that you and crewmember Cylia seem to have encountered.""It's alright. If it shows it's ugly head, i'll just smash it in.""Indeed. The weapon you created is crude, but effective. I must commend you for your creativity, Captain.""I'd prefer a better solution sooner rather than later, honestly. It's holding together for now, but i doubt it's actually a very good weapon.""And i am certain that crewmember Sanig will want his bottle back.""...Yeah, there's that, too."You spend the next twenty minutes in the mess room with Cylia, shaking off the nightmares you were having.You're eager to cook up one of these birds, but you need to prepare for it first, and the ship needs repaired.While you're finishing off a jam sandwich, SHODAN alerts you to the fact that you're about to dock.Something strange happens when you get into port, though.Some alarms seem to go off, and a few people on the ground scramble for a moment before the alarms are silenced.When you walk out, the head of security is there to greet you."Sir, is your ship alright? We got some scrambled readings when you came into port.""Ah, yeah... we uh... flew a bit too close to a neutron star. We've got some damage, but nothing too serious. My mechanic will take care of it.""I see. Alright then, take care of yourselves, and no daredevil stunts like that."Cylia walks out not long after you do. Just one look and you can see the dark circles under her eyes. Was she having nightmares as well?"Wasn't worth it. I should have just eaten some fish...""Don't be like that, Cylia. We came out of it alright, didn't we?""Physically, i guess. I still can't remember what happened."While talking to Cylia, you notice the security chief looking back at you and speaking into his earpiece as he walks off.You aren't sure if he noticed you noticing, but you act like nothing happened. That's really weird. You're in good with Sadia, right?Oh well. You don't know if he's got something against you, so if he does you'll just have to take it as it comes.More importantly, you see Sanig and Kyla rushing over to you.You turn to greet them, but Kyla kicks the shit out of your shin."GAAH, FUCK! WHY?!""WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO THE SHIP?! DAVID! THESE READINGS!!""I'm sorry, but it wasn't me!"And then the old man whacks you over the head with his cane."Goddamnit, stop hitting me!""Not until you hand over that bottle, you little shit! It had better not be cracked!"Sanig yoinks the hammer out of your hand and looks it over."...What the hell were you doing out there, boy?""We uh... got into a little bit of trouble, actually. You see..."
>>4911674Shit, we're going on some space fed's watchlist now
>>4911751Gonna get a visit from Men in Grey.
>>4911674>Wasn't worth it. I should have just eaten some fish...We have to make cylia the best space chickem we can prepare her. At least we already have a corpse; we dont need to kill one of them dodos
>>4911763Proper crispy skin fried chicken. The really bad for your heart shit that tastes like sex.
>>4911770Hell yeah. Time to make a chicken shaped ambrosia
>>4911674Fuck we let it into the station. We doomed them all! We should have quarantined our ship! They are all dead! PANIC!
>>4911674You take a few minutes to explain what happened, occasionally going into greater detail as Sanig asks."I see. You're lucky to be alive, boy. Wraiths aren't something to be trifled with.""You know about them? What the hell are they?""...I don't know. Nobody does.""What?""Best we can tell, boy... they're alive, they're not from here, and they don't like us. That's all we know.""Oh, come on! You gotta have more than that!""No. Like i said, wraiths are extraordinarily dangerous. Small attacks do happen occasionally, and often leave survivors... but something like what you experienced? I'm suspicious that you're even the real lunkhead, and not some demon of the abyss sent to trick me.""I'm the real me.""I've heard that before, and i know you can't prove it in a way that matters. Not intentionally.""Fine, whatever. So how do we fight these things? Is there a better way, besides that hammer?""Until this, i didn't think there was a way to "fight" them at all. And it's not a hammer, you damn fool! It's a dark matter bottle glued to the end of a stick, and it's going to take all day to remove it and clean it up! ...But it was also some quick thinking. Not bad, for a lunkhead.""Thank you. But i still need a way to fight them. What material is that bottle made of? Can i have a knife or some bullets made out of it?""Hah! You and me both wish. No, i'm afraid this can't be made in anything short of a matter furnace. Have you ever heard of the island of stability, boy?""Yeah, but i don't know much about it. I didn't pay a whole lot of attention in physics class.""Then let me teach you now. You must know about radioactive elements, yes? They're unstable, and they break down quickly the heavier they get.""Right. Like uranium or americium.""Exactly. Once you get to a certain point, the atoms become so heavy and so unstable that they can't exist for any useful period of time. They can be made, but they can't be used. Worthless, right?""I'd say so, yeah.""But if you go far enough and create atoms heavy enough, they begin to form their own unique quantum structure. They draw energy straight from the foam, and use it to hold themselves together. That gives them some VERY unique properties.""...So you can only make this stuff through fusion?""Hah! Fusion! What a joke. No, no, no. If it were that simple we'd be mining it out of asteroids all the time. Even i don't know exactly how it's done, and i know a lot more than i'm supposed to.Look, the point of all this is that Warp Metal is exceptionally rare and cannot be crafted by normal means. If you want some of it, you'll have to sacrifice some old bottles, and i'm not giving you mine!""Alright, alright... you said maybe we can find some when we go scavving, right?""Yes. There are likely to be old, broken bottles all over the place. If all you want is the metal, there's no better place to look than a ship graveyard. I'll be looking for intact bottles, though."
>>4912074>We made Grandpa Sanig proud of our first hammerIts a good feeling.>Even i don't know exactly how it's done, and i know a lot more than i'm supposed to.Look, the point of all this is that Warp Metal is exceptionally rare and cannot be crafted by normal means. So we really are just swinging around a damn Wrathbone club! HA!>Still haven't caught the stowaway though.>Still haven't quarantined the ship>Likely about to get a talk by Sadia in the next hourThis isn't good.
>>4912147More like we just infected the station with whatever the fuck was in our ship
>>4912157I think whatever was in our ship was supposed to kill us, but since we are us it miserably failed and is now about to turn on the people in the station.
>>4912157...can these things reproduce asexually? Did we just bring a hive queen?>>4912160From the Terror Zone(tm) we have seen so far, it looks like it might have been going for Cylia based on the bags under her eyes.
>>4912161A Hive Queen? Nah, seems more like a memetic virus to me.
>>4912163Well, practically the same thing, just a different method. Maybe some kind of Dark Matter mind leech?
>>4912161More dark matter thingy for us to eat.
>>4912174Still worried it might just give us space cancer. Soul cancer?
>>4912161>>4912163If thats the case we gotta fight this thing in our(and cylia's) dreams before it gets more cocky
>>4912074So how dense is Warp Metal?How brittle is it?Can it be tempered?Can it hold an edge?How resistive is it as a conductor at room temperature?Is it even conductive in the first place?So many questions.>>4912185You gotta fight mind demons the good old fashioned way.Summon an aspect of Jackie Chan.
>>4912185Well we can just kill the thing, we don't need an Inception dream battle, yet, I think. Unless it put Demon ghost eggs in our brain?>>4912189>ONE MORE THING intensifiesGod that show was great.
>>4912193The best part of that show was Uncle's chant being the equivalent of telling evil spirits to fuck off over and over.
>>4912189>Summon an aspect of Jackie Chan.+1 for a Jackie Chan familiar We should really look into what those wraiths did when they shoved their hands into us.
>>4912189Anon, we're gonna use the warp metal to stab space ghosts, we dont need it to be effective against people; we have our fists for that
>>4912197I love new fun facts about Uncle, I didn't even try to find a translation because I couldn't spell it. But that's great.>>4912199Sanig might be able to figure it out after the Shit hits the fans of the station. Maybe an X-Ray?>>4912200What about becoming the Ghost Punch and having Wrathbone knuckle dusters?
>>4912200I'm just saying man, if it's that rare we may as well try and get the most bang for our buck.I have to wonder if it can't be made into a sort of fiber or mesh and woven into certain materials (like our skinsuit).
>>4912201Now you're talking>>4912204We're dealing with metamaterials that are metastable(is that redundant?). Given how hard is to make the bottles, i dont think we'll be able to find fibers of it; they might lose their metastability and explose or something.
>>4912074>"Hah! You and me both wish. No, i'm afraid this can't be made in anything short of a matter furnace. Have you ever heard of the island of stability, boy?"Just build a robust metal box around the stuff and stick it inside an actual warhammer.>"Right. Like uranium or americium."I need some stitches David got me fucked up.
>>4912074Can we ask Sanig if he could get the ship sensors to detect the wraiths or their presence on or near the ship.
I want to ask Kylia to find our new crewmember already!!!! It's stowed in the flux thing. It totally won't be a space gremlin I swear. It only bites when it has a bad day.I want our new crewmember to be named... Roscopán
>>4912445Why did I suddenly imagine us getting back to earth and letting the wraith out of the bottle only to have it possess a russian cosmonaught and then become a crew member of ours?Oh right, stargateAlso wtf hiroshimoot, why the fuck is the sliderbar capcha back you cunt?
>>4912445>>4912448>Our Ink black imp creature puts on a cosmonaut helmet, thinking it's a disguise. It checks out.
>>4912445>>4912448That would probably piss off the nasaghasts
>>4912448Speaking of Earth, after we beat the shit out of rock guy we are heading straight back right?
>>4912477Definitely. We're keeping the ship though, unless SHODAN wants to explore the cosmos or something like that
>>4912483Obviously, I thought we were just going back to pick some shit up like our dog before we explore space.
>>4912494Space dog needs a custom skin suit.
>>4912477We should try to head back as soon as possible. We can continue adventuring through space after we get our dog and make sure our bank account isn't in debt due to miasing bills.
>>4912483Were not giving up the ship, nor are we staying back on earth, we're going back to feed our dog, pick up some friends and crewmembers, mess with the balance of power and technological progression, make china cease to exist, introduce our catgrill waifu to lots of tasty and scary things, and then go back into the galaxy being a badass.
>>4912546Why should we care about Earth debt? There is no such thing in Outer Heaven.>>4912554Basssed
>>4912546pretty sure we won't need to care about those anymore. Also do we have a list of things we want from our trip back? The obvious things are our Dog and actual food but I would also like to buy as many books about earth Metalworking, ballistics and shit like that. Also, get our gun cache since I guarantee we have one.
>>4912608>Dog>Gun stash>Porn stash>Delete search history before SHODAN sees and copies it>Let parents know what's going on>Grab Marine Buddies, and set up the Waifu Hunters>Send out call for sci-fi buffs that can handle spooky shit in space>Erase China>Check in with that lady we used to know in townAnything else?
We need to get a cat. Hilarious
>>4912686but anon, that's cylia already
>>4912637perhaps we should grab some engineers to help out but also some architecture books and possibly some holy water because of wraiths. I also want to see if we can copy blueprints of tanks, aircraft and other military equipment for us to either reproduce or improve up in Outer Heaven. Wonder if we can upgrade an F-16 to be space worthy.
>>4912693the problem is who? i don't think we have friends that fill all of those positions, or that want to take the job
>>4912709That is true. I am sure our marine buddies would be more than happy to fuck shit up in space but getting someone of that calibre would be difficult. That wasn't a necessary point though since we have Kyla and the old man, I mostly just wanted to get them some help.
>>4912693>Holy water>Not grabbing a whole ass priest to go to the stars, and beat up Demons with a bibleEx military as well of course, because nothing harder than a Vet priest. Blue prints for tanks will be harder to come by unless we get SHODAN to just hack some of the electronics on military bases. Which begs the question, can she do that? Or is human infrastructure to poor to intergrate?I like this Stargate esc idea. Very much.>>4912709We're ex military, I'm certain we know some guys in the machine core. Never knock knowing the guy making sure your ride can get back to base.>>4912714No such thing as enough gun nuts.
>>4912720If we can get a priest then why the fuck not? In terms of blueprints, if we can get SHODAN to hack into the military systems and yoink all the modern blueprints then sure but if not we can always go with something slightly outdated since those will most likely be easier to acquire.
>>4912726>In terms of blueprints, if we can get SHODAN to hack into the military systems and yoink all the modern blueprints then sure but if not we can always go with something slightly outdated since those will most likely be easier to acquire.True enough, I think some basic outdated manuals get cycled out on occasion, not enough for someone to just build it outright unless they know people or got a permit to have the info, but with our mind scan stuff and our short weapon enthusiasts, it should come out fine. We can get them remote controlled too.
>>4912637>Raid the spice aisle of a supermarket.on that note. Cylia and the others don't seem very intolerant of whatever spices we do manage to create. Are they fooled into thinking they're dangerous by the fact that they can't get any in space (combined with any bans on pepper/etc?) and their species eventually forgot they could eat them?>Chicken nuggies.>Report to the president about the galaxy at large, but not in person since we don't know what greedy assholes in government might go with a plan to steal our spaceship or have a deal with the greys if we're a conspiracy nut.>Find a smartypants doctor who can learn how galactic medical tech works to be our personal doc. Alien doctors would be too squishy to be a good medic for our squad compared to a human. Bonus points if he was our medic and went on to become a real doctor/vet after his tours of duty.I'm pretty sure i forgot a few things like swindle some billionaires so that we have an unlimited supply of whatever we want from Earth to hide in our moonbase but that should do for now.
>>4912637lets get seeds of spice plants as well. oregano is super easy to grow and to convert into the normal oregano we use. you literally sundry the leaves and that's it.
>>4912733>Raid the spice aisle of a supermarket.Good point, we need more Food Wars moments, and Kyla has not experienced the joys yet. Oh god. I just remembered some stuff we need to grab.As much vidya, horror movies, and other culture items to share with the crew.>Are they fooled into thinking they're dangerous by the fact that they can't get any in space (combined with any bans on pepper/etc?) and their species eventually forgot they could eat them?Who knows? They won't forgive us for sneaking a Ghost Pepper into dinner that night regardless. Heheheh.>Alien doctors would be too squishy to be a good medic for our squad compared to a human. Bonus points if he was our medic and went on to become a real doctor/vet after his tours of duty.Yeah, we need some Doctors, human and general species Doctors too. >>4912739Should we get a pot farm set aside too with one or two plants, or do you think the alien biology on our crew would be too, weak, to handle it? Well, besides Sanig, he might have some Grey bullshit in him.
>>4912746we don't really need to grow weed; we can get pure THC from the fabricator. its just a matter of giving it a flavor and that's it.
>>4912554>>4912608If we are planning to not return to earth, than we should just sell our house, to having to deal with interstellars Jew bountyhunters from the IRS.Because if they get acess to FTL tech, they will come to collect.
>>4912760>we can get pure THC from the fabricator. its just a matter of giving it a flavor and that's it.>We make it taste like chocolate, and sell it to the masses.
>>4912762They can collect the lead we put in their bodies.
>>4912762Eh. Just a matter of being too rich to care if we get taxed and when we do spread Ftl to humanity it will upend the entire economy enough that we just need to properly pay our taxes BEFORE they learn to adjust the laws to actually take our credits. Just imagine the IRS agent that has to look at our taxes and figure out if a spaceship is taxable. We're so far out of the norm atm that they can't even really tax us until there's a currency conversion rate between galactic credits and US dollars. Or we just force Elon Musk to pay the taxes the IRS demands in exchange for getting a few years off of his age.Or heck. The president can sign an executive order that we never have to pay taxes again as a thank you for our service in bringing mankind to the stars.
>>4912794you know, depending on how we give out the tech, lets keep it sublight right now. given how humanity is, we will use FTL to hold the earth hostage or blow it up.
>>4912806Sounds dumb, and a good way to make enemies. Why not just charge people for transport since we're the only ones with FTL on earth? Easy trips to any nearby garden world to colonize and SHODAN can keep any idiots who are dumb enough to think they can hijack her in line. Basically play civ with Mankind and control all interstellar shipping while we get mankind as a whole used to things.
>>4912806>>4912825A wise man once said.>Because when humanity gets out into space. Somewhere, at some point in time, someone will do something they really fucking shouldn't. Probably. Likely very soon. It is inevitable with space travel as efficient as it is. SO, better get a group of people with high explosives prepped to do it first, and not increase the chances of something horrible getting a free ride.Because we were the dumbass the did it first thing. Keeping people on sub-light is just safer for everybody.
>>4912850Sub light restricts them to our solar system instead of already habitable worlds not used by misc sapient species. We're past what's generally known space to the galactic federation. There is little to no point in actively crippling our expansion to planets around earth like you are suggesting when all of the dumbfuckery would be outside of federation/known space and we'd still be the only one with FTL in the human race until some asshat pirates get buttfucked trying to raid Earth Colonies..
>>4912877The first garden world we found and land on is infested by Dark Matter Demons, when who knows what else is out here in our end of the space boonies, we need to get Outer Heaven set up first to be prepared to scout out the territory for colonists.
>>4912189Warp Metal is extremely dense. About twice as dense as gold.It's hard and springy, but not brittle.As for whether it can hold an edge or be tempered, who knows?Nobody would think to make a melee weapon out of the stuff.It seems to be entirely non-conductive, despite being apparently metallic. It seems to deflect electromagnetic fields away from itself and saps their strength simultaneously.
>>4912886Warp Metal is weird, but I like it. But from what you said it seems pretty unlikely that we'll be able to make armor from it any time soon.
>>4912885And? the president and NASA would obviously choose the best men for colonists that can deal with that sort of stuff since we're giving him a report and/or scouting.Otherwise we just dump the billionaires onto a dark matter planet and see what happens.
>>4912890Making a Battle Royal does sound fun.
>>4912074"Captain, i hate to interrupt, but crewmember Kyla is requesting your presence on the ship.""Er, sorry. Kyla's calling me. We'll look for bottles together when we leave, alright?"You run back up the ramp and into the ship, where Kyla has her holopad hooked into the ship with a bunch of wires."David, what the hell did you do? You weren't even gone for two whole days, and look at all this! Did you get hit by an EMP?""Something like that. Have you ever heard of wraiths?""I have. I was attacked by one about thirty years ago. But wraiths don't do this.""There were thousands of them, Kyla. It was literally raining dark matter. The whole planet got fucked up, chunks of metal were floating in the air down on the surface!""...""Seriously!""That sounds like bullshit, but i believe you. So? Did you figure anything out about them?""They're people. Or people-shaped, at least. They can talk, and they're assholes. You can kill them if you use warp-metal for your weapons. Also, i can see dark matter with my bare eyeballs.""That sounds even more bullshit, but i want to believe it.""And i think they tried to eat my soul, but i ended up biting back.""...Really?""Yeah. Seemed like it, anyways.""Damn, so i wasn't crazy...""What, did one of them get you?""Yeah. And you know what? I've been a little... different, ever since then. I spent months in a coma, they thought i might never wake up. It was like i had a different personality after that.""What were you like before?""...I don't wanna say.""Come on, it might be important.""...I was uh... kind of a prude. I had no interest in mechanics or engineering at all. And according to my old friends, i was a serious bitch.""...So you're not a prude anymore?"She just rolls her eyes."Uhg, stop it. Hey, wait a minute. Where did...""Oh, sorry. I uh, i needed a handle for an impromptu weapon. Sanig's got it right now.""Seriously? Maybe i should just mount a pole to the wall right here...""Hey, that's not a bad idea!""That was a joke!""...Still a good idea."Kyla sighs and rubs her eyes."Look, i'm gonna need at least a full day to fix... most of this. I don't even know what all is wrong at the moment. And then i still have to mount and calibrate those lasers, so do you think you could lend a hand?""Sure, what do you... oh, just one more thing. And i'm not entirely certain about this, so take it with a grain of salt... but i'm like, 40% sure there's a demon haunting the ship. Maybe sixty percent.""What.""I mean, like, i don't have any actual PROOF mind you, but... my gut is like 90% sure. Just be careful when you're messing with anything that uses dark matter in here.""God fucking damn it.""Hey, you can smack them with a dark matter bottle. It fucks em' up like nothing else!""Really?""Yeah, go for it.""Damn, alright. Hey, the lasers are boxed up in bay C14. Grab the cart and bring them in, would you?""Sure thing. Sorry again about the damage."
>>4912877Yep, the idea is to let them fuck around and see what bullshit stuff they do in the solar system and only then we give them ftl
>>4912913So you want all of mankind to be in close proximity to each other when somebody manages to explode the solar system?
>>4912915I mean humanity is doing the same on an earth level, we can handle solar level doom
>>4912915We know what is in our solar system, for the most part, the likelihood of the human race finding something to blow it all up is highly unlikely. Unless there is a god bomb in Mars.>Kyla believes the bullshitShe's a good Gobbo.>"...So you're not a prude anymore?"Heh, nice.>Where is the poll, Electric BoogalooI feel bad for the headaches we give her.
>>4912924A terrifying thought has crossed my mind; cylia's personality might change. Fuck.
>>4912928Hahahahha, nothing is wrong, Cylia hasn't even gone into a coma for several months, everything is going to be fine with good American cooking, and lots of Dodo Meat.
>>4912936My apologies anon. How could i be so dumb for spouting such a silly opinion hahahhahahahajahaha
>>4912940She just needs some Moonshine, and a fried Dodo leg, you get it. She'll be just fine.
>>4912944Maybe the dodo meat gives dark matter resistance?
>>4912952If it doesn't does making Soul Food out of it make it actually do that?
>>4912561The IRS will find us if we don't.
>>4912964So how much does a meteor cost?
>>4912965Is it free-range or store-bought?
>>4912967Free Range, the tags in store bought always make it look tacky after you scrape them off.
>>4912968However much you need for either renting a tug or fuel for your own ship, not counting expenses incurred in hiring a crew/buying a ship if you don't already have one.
>>4912965Literally more than the entire economy of Earth several times over. Best to just get a tax exemption before anyone realizes we can get biological (and possibly technological) immortality and absolutely NEVER give any openings or chances to lose the company we made. All companies go downhill once some greedy tard wrangles power away from the original creators and anyone willing to steal our company from us would undoubtedly be enough of an ass to try and steal all of our stuff too..
>>4912971If we go straight for rare ores limited on Earth, we can just cut out specific chunks of meteors and drop that on their lap. Just grab well trained mechanics before the realize the scam.>>4912975We call those people target practice.
>>4912975Become an immortal mercenary sounds like a nice plan but it would be pretty tiring after a while. I still want to go with my overthrow the federation plan though
>>4912991What if they are space elves?
>>4912976Asteroids aren't made of chunks of rare metal in their pure form, it's still measured in ppm at most. You'd need to process the Ni-Fe(-Co) material making up a suitable asteroid and extract the valuable stuff as a byproduct of material processing. Unless you want to sell Fe-Ni alloy, of course. The nickel content of an M-type asteroid could be worth a couple of tens of thousands of dollars per cubic metre alone.
>>4912991I was thinking more like since space is so big, we have a few glorious mansions or space stations stashed away in various hiding spots (if the greys can do it. we can do it.) to retire in wealth until we become bored.Eg. Hollow out some shitty asteriod nobody would want to mine, have a nice house on the inside hidden inside if we want to take a vacation for a year or century or so, and come out when we want to have fun.
>>4912998If it sells, we shill.
>>4913003Yeah but I give David two centuries before he gets tired. 4 if he has a wife and kids. Immortality seems great on paper but when in practice it starts to kinda suck after awhile. Still though it’s not like we are going to see that in thread so he lives happily ever after.
>>4913034>Immortality seems great on paper but when in practice it starts to kinda suck after awhile.words of someone that isn't immortal
>>4913039>That Dodo species you and Cylia first found on a Wrath Infested world>Gone>The Dodo meat is gonet.Immortal
>>4913034It's not like you can't just find something new to do.
>>4913039>>4913044Well, my argument is destroyed.
>>4913043time to make the dodo 2.0. Faster, meatier, more juicy. the perfect bird.
>>4913048>We bring Ostriches to spaceWe can't, the universe isn't ready!
>>4913050No anon, we must create the greate Space Emu Army.The Federation will be forced to capitulate.
Hey when we finally get around to making power armor we should totally try to get some warp metal to cover it in for that special anti demon fuckery, also have we plugged in that memory shit for SHODAN yet?
>>4911674>You turn to greet them, but Kyla kicks the shit out of your shin.>"GAAH, FUCK! WHY?!">"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO THE SHIP?! DAVID! THESE READINGS!!">"I'm sorry, but it wasn't me!">And then the old man whacks you over the head with his cane.>"Goddamnit, stop hitting me!"THIS IS A HATE CRIME! HE'S A VETERAN!
>>4913034Why do mortals always go full cope when talking about immortality?Immortality is lit, humanity is entertaining enough Just think about how much the world has changed in 50 years or 200 yearsHaving a family now is an absolute new experience compared to just a few decades ago, you need to open your mind and be ready to try new flavorsCan't forget you qt3.14 blonde wife? Just go for an Asian girl to change gears. Tired of city life? Become a sailor. Tired of being a normie faggot? Start a secret society, etc. There is a ton of shit to keep yourself entertained with, seriously faggots these days haven't experienced half the shit they can do in a city and they think they've seen it all.If you aren't afraid of trying new stuff immortality won't ever get boring
>>4913106And how does one become immortal?
>>4913106The problem is my gigabrain processes all the dumb shit you can do and figures out how it would all play out and feel which kind of kills the fun of actually doing it.Just waiting for the day I can sit on top of a thermonuclear warhead as it goes down so that at the very least I can go out with some pizazz.
>>4913106Alright, and how about once you've ran through all those things but you've still got an eternity ahead of you? On a related note>Having a family now is an absolute new experience compared to just a few decades ago, you need to open your mind and be ready to try new flavorsIs it really though? The veneer might be different, but the fundamentals of relationship dynamics between humans hasn't changed for at least a couple millennia. Sure you can run through perhaps as many as a few hundred or few thousand significant variations on the 'family experience' but at a certain point you're going to ID the commonalities in them and they'll lose their specialness and value as a 'new experience'. You might get around this by embracing the minute differences in each scenario, but at that point you've essentially embraced a hedonist's mindset and philosophical arguments against have been made against that way more eloquently and in depth than I could do here.
>>4913199what a fucking defeatist and selfish point of view but ill biteas if this is implying that he'll got eiditic memory and if he does he's doing it out of love no matter how boring it will get because its not about him and what else is the alternative, watch a baby gets born right in front of his eyes then gets drowned in a bathtub cause the parents are fucking chinese just so he could feel something new?the human mind will still give you natural drugs and wether by sex, having a family, completing fulfilling tasks, whatever the fuck it is and so is the opposite like hate just to keep you going because that its what it is and it will always will beTLDR: you are still a construction made of flesh with motives directed by neurotransmitters and natural chemicals, not a Artificial Intelligence
>>4913217>TLDR: you are still a construction made of flesh with motives directed by neurotransmitters and natural chemicals, not a Artificial Intelligence
>>4913199Thats implying that you'll ever run out of things to do. Im pretty sure that in order to master all the jobs that are out there right now i'll take you several thousand years. And thats just the jobs; right now there are basically infinite videos in youtube; if you wanted to do something for the rest of time you can watsch all the videos tht have been made.Point is, you'll never get bored.
>>4913220fortunately for our "gunny" in his universe has a soulwhether how much value this soul is will never know till we get more paranormal shit
>>4913222That's nonsense though. I can get bored watching youtube videos NOW, and I'm not even immortal. Why would you even think something like that, haha!>>4913217You might be projecting your own defeatism and selfishness onto me, I'll admit I do find immortals to be tragic characters more than anything else though. Now let me bite on your arguments that are rooted in 'we still fleshibois no matter what'.>as if this is implying that he'll got eiditic memory and if he does he's doing it out of love no matter how boring it will get because its not about him and what else is the alternative, watch a baby gets born right in front of his eyes then gets drowned in a bathtub cause the parents are fucking chinese just so he could feel something new?I don't know what you're trying to say here, but lemme hop on the eidetic memory bit I guess, because I think you're trying to say that an immortal would eventually forget things and be able to experience them anew. Right, so to answer that (which may not be the argument you're actually making) lemme just say that we're positing an immortal person here and that's not a real thing so I'm gonna say that a real immortal would have perfect or near-perfect recall of their memories. That renders your argument null, which demonstrates at least some sort of deficiency there I guess, in that this isn't really an avenue you should be arguing to try and prove me wrong.>the human mind will still give you natural drugs and wether by sex, having a family, completing fulfilling tasks, whatever the fuck it is and so is the opposite like hate just to keep you going because that its what it is and it will always will beIn similar vein to what I said to 'watch youtube'-anon, I can get bored of all of these things RIGHT NOW in my own definitely, totally, assuredly finite lifetime. Even though I'm certainly no immortal being haha, wouldn't worry about immortals if I were you, anon I can prove your argument wrong. Sure I'm not embracing every cutting-edge sex toy out there to enhance my experience or whatever, but I'm pretty confident that it's all gonna wax kinda drab after a while.
>>4913232>I can get bored watching youtube videos NOW, and I'm not even immortalOk, lets swap that for travel then. Some lifetimes ago you earned enough money to travel wherever you want for however long you want.There are around 10,000 cities in the world, but lets say you only got for the top 100 that have the most tourists and it takes you 1 month to see the most popular attractions it has. Thats 8 years just power travelling nonstop from city to city, experiencing new stuff; and thats without even trying to get to know the culture of the places. An immortal would literally never get bored as long as they keep expanding their horizons