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OH SHIT NIGGA(s) it's an adventure about being knights n shit.

4 knights are sent on a glorious quest to bring home the holy grail! Which have been stolen and taken to the Tower City!

Each Knight needs at least 1 player to be the voices in their head to tell them what to do n shit.

Just name yourself something with the highlighted title under the knight to identify which team you're going with.
Example: Scythe Knight herpaderp -> Controls Gustaf the Scythe Knight

Need at least 1 player for each knight for 'em to be active

Currently the party just defeated a gang of thugs and retreated to a safehouse. Planning on using the Tower City's secret passages to move upwards in pursuit of the grail!
>>
Mob knight grindset, punch self
>>
>>5003665
Do we have any info where they took the grail? And what was up with that pointy-hatted man?
>>
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>>5003668
>>5003669
"Probably into one of their heavily guarded compounds in the upper tiers....also. Pointy hatted-man?" the Urchin Boss informant replies
>>
>You suddenly feel extremely silly thanks to seeing the mob knights punching themselves
>Punch yourself
>>
>>5003677
You think we could get in here someplace... its a sewer isnt it. Again with this
>>
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>>5003680
>>
>>5003677
Some pointy-hatted man got us into Boss Thug's trap when we mentioned a grail, have you seen anyone like him before
>>
>>5003677
Not the original Gustaf, but since Lilly is represented, I'll control his meatsack for the moment.

>>5003668
You can punch yourself later, fool!

>>5003677
Where's the grail, Urchin Boss?!?
>>
>>5003685
Let's drink some beer
>>
>>5003680
Oh. Uhhh, I'll just puppet weeb's meatsack for the moment.

>>5003677
Thank you for meeting with us, Urchin-san. Do you have any rice you can spare, for my sake?
>>
TWINKLE KNIGHT, FUCKING DISGUSTING WEEB, PUNCH YOURSELF, FALL IN THE ABYSS OF SILLINESS
>>
>>5003695
Goddamnit name, stick damn it!

>>5003689
This one was supposed to be named the Inner Machinations of Gustaf's Mind btw.
>>
>This self punching business is stupid
>wait
>Hold your own hand
>>
>>5003703
MUST...RESIST...PUNCHING
>>
>>5003697
I'm sorry, Scythe-san, but you actions are of your own choice, however asinine they may be. I shall not submit to peer pressure! My scripture of Man-iga tell me so!
>>
>>5003705
Wait, why is my hand itchin-
>>
>>5003703
>>5003704
>>5003705

SUCCUMB TO THE PLEASURE OF SELF-PUNCHING, FALL IN SILLY
>>
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>>5003681
"It's not a sewer. It's secret tunnels that spies used to go through. Now long abandoned and filled with god knows what. That also happens to look like a sewer"

>>5003688
"Sounds pretty strange. I'll have to look into it. Never heard of this guy before"

>>5003695
"What? You're hungry? Try looking in the kitchen in the back, there's probably something to eat"

>>5003697
>>5003694
>>5003705
Meanwhile Gustaf is fuming that the weeb and lilly knights has not punched themselves
>>
>>5003708
We must keep grinding. Mob knight will look for a map of the tunnels layout so we dont get lost
>>
>>5003708
Ask Urchin if he's got any weapons we could borrow
>>
>>5003708
I go in search of RICE, and drink my SAKE!
>>
>>5003708
Did anyone get anything from the Boss Thug's loot?
>>
Well, I just got here for a quick chuckle, but need to sleep NOW, I have exam 1 hour after sleeping, see you all
Someone take over scythe knight
>>
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Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>5003710
>>5003711
"Yeah I got a map and some spare weapons in the back....but don't you guys already have weapons?"

>>5003712
Roll 1d100 to find rice in the kitchen.

>>5003713
At this point Twinkle the Lilly Knight realized a horrible truth:

Nobody looted the Boss Thug

>>5003714
Gustaf falls into a fucking coma
>>
>>5003715
We need weapons to differentiate which mob knight is on screen, Urchin
y'know for story and meta purposes
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>5003715
Its a charitable cause we founded. Its called Equip the Underage, a charity for orphans. We just wanted to encourage you to participate. Heres a leaflet.
Need the map for the sewer diving though
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>5003715
YOSHI!
>>
>>5003717
>he cant tell them apart from subtle details, like difference in helmet and abel being the retarded one
Not grinding
>>
>>5003715
AAAAAAAAAAAARGH
>>
>>5003723
>being the retarded one
yeah okay doofus
>>
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>>5003718
>>
>>5003727
Do you know how many people are orphaned by orc raids on the caravans.
>>
>>5003727
Come onnnn Urchin
Those Orphans need to defend themselves.
>>
>>5003723
>>5003726
>abel being the retarded one
There's a difference?
>>
>>5003721
This is me.
>>
>>5003721
>>5003732
Goddamnit name!
>>
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>>5003733
>>5003732
>>5003721
Sadly Orkuzashi found no rice. Only a whole chicken

>>5003730
>>5003728
"Yeah sure. Just head into the back. There's a storeroom in there"

>>5003724
Meanwhile Twinkle rolls around on the floor in rage
>>
>>5003721
NO WEEB THE NINTENDO LAWYERS ARE COMING
>>
>>5003735
Aight, time to look at the storeroom
>>
>>5003735
Grab a spear or failing that a beating stick or failing that a broom and go study the fuckin' map... someone has to keep GRINDING... the grind must continue. study map of tunnels for enlightenment and glorious salvation for bonuses and the final mob victory
>>
>>5003736
OH SHIT!

>>5003735
I GRAB THE CHICKEN AND RUN FOR IT!
>>
>>5003735
Enough of these silly actions, every second we dawdle the grail slips further from our grasp. Lets us depart with all haste my bretheren, to the sewers!
>>
>>5003735
Ask urchins for any rumors after our temper tantrum
>>
>>5003743
Now hold on there, Gustaf
If we rush into battle without having a plan, we'll fall into a pit trap again.
>>
>>5003746
Setbacks of such nature are but tests of our Faith, Perseverance and Diligence! Our actions are those of the Pious, and the Godess will reward us for dutifully failing forward! Act with Wisdom, but Act! Now onwards, before the night falls and the horrors of Tower City come crawling out to meet us.
>>
>>5003749
>vote Scythe Knight for most likely to die in a stupid way
>>
OP's internet is fucking up, please hold
>>
>>5003750
>not weeb knight

You honor me, Twinkle-chan! May the stars bless our journey to find the Holy Grail, as companions in this quest! A-and maybe in life itself! Say, have you ever had the pleasure of journeying to the Far East? The Sakura Trees are beautiful this time of year…
>>
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>>5003737
>>5003740
The Mob Knights take the map and look through the store room. There's a longsword, a spear, an axe, a club, Soul Edge, twin knives, ....

>>5003743
Gustaf is now hyped. He rallies the knights to immediately set off for the tunnels. His cries fall on deaf ears

>>5003741
Orkuzashi absconds with the chicken

>>5003745
"Well the tunnels are full of mutant cannibalistic dwellers. There's that."
>>
>>5003759
The club is swag and cute, take it
>>
>>5003759
Abscond with Soul Edge as well.
>>
>>5003759
Take the longsword for eventual big boy greatsword action
>>
>>5003759
Are the twin knives throwable? That might be useful.
>>
>>5003759
Be irritated at the fact that they added sci-fi elements to a medieval story.
>>
>>5003762
>>5003759
>>5003760
Actually Cain's already got a club, I'll take the spear then
>>
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>>5003760
>>5003762
Yeah. Grabbing long hard shafts in your hands.
>>
>>5003759
>"Well the tunnels are full of mutant cannibalistic dwellers. There's that."
Egads, it is worse than I feared. The sewers are infected with the foulest, most horrific form of mutant to ever shuffle through the land. Uncultured, hairy beasts of the most detestable notion that were banished from the land of the Godess for their crimes against Civilization...

The French!

[Prepare the sacred Unguents and Incense with holy fervor]
>>
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>>5003761
What Soul Edge. Dunno what yer talking about

>>5003763
Any weapon is throwable if you try hard enough

>>5003764
"Oh sorry, I mean..."ghouls". The tunnels are rumored to be filled with ghouls"
>>
>>5003768
Smash Gustaf for insulting the Mob country of origin, to civilize him
>>
>>5003766
>>5003770
We'll take it
holster it like Guts from Berserk across our back
>>
>>5003770
Screw that, of course I'm taking the twin knives.
>>
>>5003770
>>5003773
Yeah
>>
>>5003770
“N-nothing!”

Ask Urchin-san looks away use some ninja slight of hand to swipe the weird eye sword. It’s looking at me funny, and if my man- uhh, scrolls of wisdoms tells me anything, that’s only a good sign of a long lasting friendship!
>>
>>5003777
>dem trips

It’s the sign of the Goddess of Weebs, our glorious Waifu has blessed my actions on this day! I must be doing something right!

As* Urchin-san looks away…
>>
>>5003771
>>5003772
>>5003768
>>5003777
>>5003782
Look to them like you're staring into the void of the abyss, about to face the doom that occurs.
>>
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>>5003777
>>5003782
"I don't get what you're saying. But those foreign words kinda makes me wanna punch you, strange knight"

>>5003771
>>5003772
As Abel is feeling pretty good about getting a BIG SWORD, Cain attempts to smack Gustaf on the head for insulting the cheese eating surrender monkeys.

Mob and Scythe roll 1d50 against each other

+7 Power for Scythe
+4 for Mob

>>5003773
>>5003774
>>5003784
Upside: You got a pair of daggers. Surely would come in hand in case your rapier fails you somehow. But you're a master fencer! What are the chances of that ever happening?

Downside: whatever the fuck the rest of the party is doing
>>
Rolled 45 (1d50)

>>5003786
You have crossed the line
>>
Rolled 38 (1d50)

>>5003786
I'm rolling for my bro cause I can
also let's get this show on the road
>>
Rolled 43 + 7 (1d50 + 7)

>>5003786
No time for this now, brother! We must away into the sewers!
>>
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>>5003789
>>5003787
Gustaf dramatically raises his fist up and turns around to once again rally the team to head onwards!

Coincidentally this made him smack Cain in the face
>>
>>5003792
I was just gonna help him out with this back scratcher I found
But yeah lets to go the tunnelz
>>
>>5003792
Let's get moving to the sewers bros!
>>
>>5003786
OP, am are you just fucking with me on the sword?
>>
>>5003786
>>5003792
Please forgive weeb knight, exposure to Jap-EASTERN KINGDOM books has given him a terminal case of speaking like a weeb and being a simp. Please keep him away from women if you value your sanity.
>>
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>>5003797
>>
>>5003798
Twinkle-chaaaaan! You know you’re the only knight of my heart!
>>
>>5003799
;_;
>>
>>5003800
GUSTAV, WEEB KNIGHT'S TAKING THE FRONT WITH YOU
>>
>>5003800
>Imagine destroying weeb knight over and over in order to quell the rage
>>
>>5003803
VERY WELL, TOGETHER WE SHALL CLEAR THE PATH TOWARDS OUR GOAL. NOTHING SHALL STAND BEFORE US!
>>
>>5003803
>>5003805
>>
>>5003786
Grab eye sword, eat chicken, leave. Weeb Knight is now silently brooding.
>>
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"Alright. Now if you're all ready to go. Follow the urchin girl. She'll lead you to the tunnels"
>>
>>5003815
Thanks bro, give him a fist bump
>>
>>5003815
This >>5003813, but give child a chicken leg, she must starving.
>>
>>5003815
>Hold the urchin girl's hand
>Please lead the way, lady urchin.
>>
Follow Urchin Girle
>>
>>5003815
Now Loading: The Sewers
>>
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>>5003816

>>5003820
Again. I must ask. What eye sword? What are you talking about Weeb knight? Perhaps you're hallucinating

>>5003823
>>5003824
>>5003827
In any case. THe knights leave the safehouse and follows the Urchin girl towards the tunnels.

Oh and Orkuzashi gave her a chicken leg. Very important plot point. Please remember this for later during the endgame
>>
>>5003829
[NOW LOADING]
>>
>>5003829
>>
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>>5003833
>>
>>5003837
I see something weird between the L and the S in tunnels, ENHANCE
>>
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>>5003838
What are you even talking about my guy
>>
>>5003837
Secret Tunnel or Tunnel (S)?
>>
>>5003840
You can't fool me, ENHANCE
>>
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>>5003843
YOu'e imagining things
>>
>>5003845
MMMMMMH, yeah, I believe you, must be my imag-ENHANCE
>>
>>5003845
Load this shit already, we got an SSD
>>
>>5003848
What does our Super Solid Defense have to do with this?
>>
Bye to everyone, remember to ENHANCE in my place, and to eat potatos, they are tasty
>>
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>>5003847
>>
>>5003854
get outta here todd howard
>>
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>>5003855
>>
>>5003854
>>5003856
Get out Todd
>>
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You have reached the tunnels.

But the dark spirit of Todd will never truly leave
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>5003863
This is weirdly detailed, I guess we got an upgrade in budget.
The Mob Knights light a torch to banish the spirit of Todd
>>
>>5003863
Mob knight hype song and dance to prepare for the challenges ahead
>>
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Wait hol up. Save your current actions for later. OP gotta stop the session here. My communist overlords are calling. Will continue later....whenever that is

updates be ehre: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>5003863
>>5003863
Channel Holy Light out of the Scythe to light the way, like how it is done in the greatest movie trilogy of all time.

https://youtu.be/BpUc5q3-EvI?t=29
>>
>>5003863
Weeb knight was born in the shadows. Weeb knight goes forward, as the darkness embraces him.
>>
We successfuly achieved nothing
>>
>>5003879
Congratulations. Everyone gets a gold star
>>
>>5003879
At least we got weapons
>>
why dont you join the party and BECOMe the communist overlord
>>
>>5004057
I do not want to be forced by a State Mandate to play Skyrim daily.
>>
>>5004060
Its a literal win win scenario....
>>
>>5003872
Your mandated gaming time is over OP
>>
OP was executed for not including a communist knight in the selection screen last thread. Comrade Putin and Chairman Xi disapproves.
>>
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>>5004156
>>5004156
>>5004176
Damn
>>
>>5004181
Raise op from the ashes
>>
>>5004181
Cast 'Raise Dead' on OP's grave so he xan get back to working on the quest.
>>
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>>5004183
>>5004185
>>
>>5004187
The Knights begin their valiant journey through the Forgotten Tunnels, Gustaf leading the way as he channels Divine Light through his Scythe.
>>
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>>5004193
SHiny
>>
>>5004204
Ah, with the darkness vanquished we shall make good time navigating these treacherous tunnels. Onward, Brothers! We must escape this foul labyrinth before we awaken ancient evils that may yet slumber here...

I feel like we're missing one or two knights right now. It could just be my imagination though.
>>
Damn! Is it time yet? HELOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>
>>5004204
Use shine pingah!
>>
I'm awake, I'm here, where women?
>>
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>>5004211
>>5004212
>>5004216
Suddenly one of the Mob Knights loudly yelled HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. For some reason that we will never know.

While the weeb said something about his pingas or something. Sounds phallic
>>
>>5004223
Look around for tunnel goblins
>>
>>5004222
Look at your hand
>>
>>5004223
Brother Cain, your enthusiasm is to be commended but it needs to be said that there are times when it must be contained, for the safety of us all. Now let us make haste, ubdoubtedly your proclamation has brought unwanted attention.

Drag Cain away from his Goblin search with the strictness of a disappointed parent forcing their children to leave the McDonalds ballpit.
>>
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>>
>>5004223
This should be easy. I'll use my superior speed to solve this puzzle before those idiots ever get the chance to.

>Disregard map
>Go north
>Go north
>Go south
>Go south
>Go west
>Go east
>Go west
>Go east
>Go A
>Go B
>Go Start
>>
Assume floating pose
>>
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>>5004246
Twinkle runs straight ahead!

And smacks into a wall
>>
>>5004252
Follow Twinkles directions too, we might get through that wall
>>
Get a sense of DIRECTION I have no idea what is even happening anymore maan
>>
>>5004252
An aura if immense disappointment emenates from Gustaf as he observes his fellow knights in their folly.
>>
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>>5004256
And so Orkuzashi follows Twinkle's genius plan of running straight into a wall. With Twinkle in the way

>>5004260
Poor Cain. His unchecked Alcoholism is catching up to him

>>5004262
What a shame
>>
>>5004274
ACCIDENTALLY GROPE LILLY
>>
>>5004274
Scrape our fellow Knights off the wall, then proceed to follow the right path. Some progress will be made, even if it kills me.
>>
I no longer want to drink I want to be happy
>>
>>5004274
>>5004276

No!!! We can only grope 2D waifu!!!
>>
>>5004284
But she is 2d waifu
>>
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>>5004277
>>5004276
Gustaf separates the 2 knights before Orkuzashi can """""""""""""""""""""accidentally""""""""""""""""""""""""" grope Twinkle. Who currently is apparently in a coma

>>5004281
Meanwhile, Cain has an existential crisis
>>
>>5004287
WEEP
>>
>>5004287
OH GUSTAF SAN SAMA GENJI
I WAS JUST TRYING TO FEEL FOR SECRET SWITCHES!?
>>
>>5004287
Every time I try to do something, it fails. Sometimes no matter how hard I try to go and do *something* it cannot even begin. I just feel so powerless. Its like fighting an uphill battle, forever, with no stop. Can I really be a part of the mob?
>>
>>5004281
>>5004292
>>5004287
In the arms of the Godess you may find Solace, Brother. For now, take these pamphlets. They may help you steel yourself and set you on the path to become the person you want to be.
>>
>>5004293
Give me a pamphlet with eastern illustrations
>>
>>5004297
No.
>>
Crap yeah I blacked out for a while.
Nothing happened ... so I guess I'll check the map we got from the backroom.
>>
>>5004298
Yes.
>>
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As Cain has a bout of depression. Possibly alcohol-induced, Gustaf decided it's the perfect time to raise party morale. Via preaching. Orkuzashi is flabbergasted as the pamphlet has no risque depictions of scantily clad prepubescent girls like his eastern scrolls. Having peeled herself off from the wall, Twinkle decides to check the map.
Anyway, who wants to roll for encounters
>>
ROLLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>5004310
No, you aren't.
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>5004309
Aww shieeet. Here we go again
>>
Rolled 46 (1d50)

>>5004309
I miss the scrolls at home
>>5004310
ok
>>
we are not supposed to roll yet idiots
>>
>>5004317
you're not supposed to be drinking at job
>>
>>5004319
You're not supposed to eat raw fish
>>
>>5004317
Cleansing the die before a roll is an important ritual, Brother. It's in the pamphlet.
>>
>>5004321
it's called sashimi, you uncultured swine!
>>
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People who rolled before I told them to are now legally obliged to donate to my paypal.

Anyway Roll 2d100. First number decides who gets picked. Second number is what the encounter is:

80-100: Oh hey tunnel goblins. They do exist.
50-79: Ghouls
30-49: Ghosts
2-29: Enemy Knight!
1: Super Death Murderlord Supreme Killer Man
>>
Rolled 82, 38 = 120 (2d100)

>>5004327
Uh oh.
>>
Rolled 25, 4 = 29 (2d100)

>>5004327
THE GRIND LIVES ON
>>
Rolled 17, 22 = 39 (2d100)

>>5004327
My life savings.
>>
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>>5004330
ZOINKS! GHOSTS!
>>
>>5004343
Try to swat them
>>
>>5004343
Prepare to banish evil spirits.
>>
>>5004343
I'm sure that clasping hands together and praying the Rosary will solve this.
>>
>>5004343
Whip out a scroll and support Gustaf with japanese incantation
>>
Read random paragraphs from the obligatory religious sermons from knight school
>>
>>5004361
That should help, I guess
>>
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Everyone started their own brand of prayer!

This has empowered Cain's swatting hand, allowed for one massive, ghost-slaying slap!
>>
>>5004378
BEHOLD! THE SECRET MOB TECHNIQUE!
RICHIYUO KIYU KIROU - THE POWER SLAP
DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>5004383
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>
>>5004383
WREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
Wait a minute... Ork-uzashi... you a greenskin under that armor? A weeaboo-greenskin?
>>
>>5004383
Go with the blessing of the Godess, Brother Cain! Smite these Banshees with thy Holy Pimp-hand!
>>
>>5004383
Leave Mob Knight Cain to exorcise them with Jesus or somesuch, Mary is much cuter.
>>
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Rolled 39 (1d50)

>>5004383
ROLL 1d50

+30 BOnus
>>
Rolled 4 (1d50)

>>5004408
THE GRIND BEGINS ANEW
SHINEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>5004410
Ohohoho.
>>
>>5004410
DON'T SURRENDER BRO, JUST SLAP THEM AGAIN, LIKE MOMMA DID IT
>>
>>5004410
I actually can't believe you've done this.
>>
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH AHHAHAHAHAHAH
>>
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My man actually rolled a 4 on a >9 out of d50
>>
I AM A SLAVE TO THE DRINK, MY LACK OF CONTROL AND MY OWN PATHETIC WEAKNESS
LIFE IS ONE STEP FORWARD AND TEN STUMBLES BACKWARDS AT A TIME
THERE IS NO LIGHT IN THE TUNNEL. THERE IS ONLY SUFFERING, THE GRIND AND THE BOOZE
>>
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BEFORE CAIN'S HOLY SLAP CAN LAND, THE GHOSTS COALESCED INTO A STRONGER FORM TO RESIST THE DIVINE SWATTING

the Boss Ghost
>>
>>5004419
Scene transition to the Turn-Based RPG combat screen.
>>
>>5004417
BRO, THE BOOZE DOESN'T CONTROL YOU MY COMPADRE, YOU DRINK IT, ENJOY IT, AND CONTROL IT, SO DON'T STOP DRINKING, BECAUSE YOU DOMINATE THE BOOZE

I'LL DRINK WITH YOU BRO
>>
>>5004419
do a jojo pose as I unsheathe the blade
>>
I'm gonna sob on the floor now
you guys just gonna watch or DO SOMETHING
>>
>>5004433
Have a good sobbing.
>>
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>>5004422
>>
>>5004433
Take it if you need it bro

>>5004456
Hey, you look familiar, you look... thievish?
>>
>>5004433
WHY YOU JOBBING ON ROLLS BRO
>>5004456
Aw shit, this guy's gonna be tough to beat.
>>
>>5004456
Charge the Scythe with Holy Energies to Smite the Ghost Boss with.
>>
>>5004456
I summon my stand
>>
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>>5004457
Buy the Boss DLC to get access to an even wider variety of bosses! Such as Boss Wizard! Boss Knight! Boss Abomination! And even, Boss Farmer!
>>
>>5004469
Damn, OP's run out of creativity for these enemies
Just saying
>>
>>5004469
Didn't that one came included with skyrim?
>>
has anyone archived the last tread
>>
>>5004469
what about boss vampire
or wait boss dragon witch
>>
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>>5004470
PRE-ORDER NOW TO GET BOSS ANON
>>
>>5004477
This definitely sounds like a scheme by Todd Howard to get us to buy Skyrim DLC
>>
>>5004419
>>5004456
Wait I actually remember this one. Its like the Legion or something which the Nun talked about!
>>
>>5004471
Buy it again and you get to re-purchase Skyrim! For free!

>>5004472
Yes, I have it in my basement

>>5004475
Buy Skyrim: Special Edition Remastered Legendary Deluxe Arcade Edition for that pack
>>
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Anyway. Everyone buy Skyrim! Quick! It's the only way to beat this boss! Trust me
>>
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>>5004484
>>
>>5004484
Quickly strike the Druid in the background, we can't let him run off this time!
>>
>>5004485
nigga, go help Scythe Knight he needs a dude
>>5004484
The Mob Knights prepare a swatting with the BOTH of them this time cause we're not gonna be able to hit the ghost with conventional weapons.
>>
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>>5004485
For your devotion to our one true god Todd. I can let the Mob Knight to attempt the Holy Slap again, since technically it never made contact so the divine slapping energy has not been spent.

All in favor say aye.

>>5004488
There are no druids. What are you talking about
>>
>>5004491
AYE
>>
>>5004491
It can't be worse than the last roll made. Aye.
>>
>>5004491
Aye.
>>
>>5004491

The anon properly mean the spirit of goblin druid from past quest threads.
>>
>>5004490
Ok
TRANSFORMATION OF THIS ID, FROM
Temporal helper of Mob Knight Abel and Cain
TO
Temporal helper of Scythe Knight
>>
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Rolled 28 (1d50)

Mob Knight roll 1d50. Highest result gets picked

+30 Bonus
+10 Defense for Boss Ghost

sure the Mob can't fuck this one up.

Again
>>
Rolled 46 (1d50)

>>5004502
URAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
>>5004502
>Dice is 2% easier
This is your big chance Mob.
>>
>>5004503
YOU DID IT
I am proud of you, finally doing something useful
>>
also the hell is the will stat even used for?
>>
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>>5004503
With a mighty slap that echoed through the tunnels, The ghosts are banished!
>>
>>5004513
THAT'S HOW WE FUCKING DO IT
MOB KNIGHTS BABY
>>
>>5004508
Defense against other people's specials.
>>
>>5004513
Give Abel a thumbs up
>>
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>>5004518
>>
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With that encounter done, the knights are able to traverse further into the tunnels, towards their destination of the upper tier of Tower City
>>
>>5004528
Scavenge
>>
Wait, now that I think about it, is there loot from the totally not thieve ghost?
>>
>>5004532
Ethereal Being do not drop loot, only EXP.
>>
>>5004534
That may be true, but there exist many ghost that become ethereal thanks to many reasons, from feelings, people or objects of some kind
>>
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As now OP needs to go to sleep. Who wants to roll for loot
>>
>>5004538
I wish to get loot, it may be useful for our quest
>>
>>5004538
We shall all roll for the big loot and experience gain.
>>
>>5004538
I'll roll
>>
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Everyone roll 3d30. Highest total will be picked.

First roll is how much gold you find:

1-5: No gold
6-30: You find the same amount of gold as the roll

Second roll is exp:

1-20: Not enough exp to level up
21-30: 1 level up yay

Third roll is equipment loot:
1-4: No items are found
5-20: a ring with a faint magic power
21-30: Magical amulet

Let's leave it up in the air whether the loot fell out of the ghost or are just what you could scrounge up from the unfortunate corpses of the ghosts' past victims
>>
Rolled 26, 3, 13 = 42 (3d30)

>>5004547
URAAAAAAAAH
>>
>>5004547
With luck, there will be something decent
>>
Rolled 3, 5, 14 = 22 (3d30)

>>5004538
Balling.
>>
Rolled 8, 9, 10 = 27 (3d30)

>>5004547
Experience gain baby
>>
Rolled 17, 19, 24 = 60 (3d30)

>>5004549
Oops, forgot the dice
>>
>>5004548
We got the bling now
>>
Rolled 11, 15, 9 = 35 (3d30)

>>5004547
>>
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>>5004552
And so, looting the chamber of the ghosts, the knights found about 17 gold coins. And a mysterious amulet with a gem giving off a soft glow. ooooooh

What does it do?....Well I'll probably think up something when I wake up. Toodles.

Updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
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>>5004559
...
GOD
DAMNIT
TODD
NO

GET OUT AND STAY OUT UNTIL YOU'VE GOT ELDER SCROLLS VI OR A NON-ONLINE FALLOUT GAME

AND YOU CAN GO OUTSIDE WITH HIM, SAM HOUSER, UNTIL YOU BRING ME ANYTHING THAT ISN'T GTA 5 REHASHED AGAIN, AND GOD HELP ME IF YOU'RE MAKING GTA ONLINE 2 WHILE YOU'RE DOING IT, YOU PRICK

HOLY FUCK
>>
>>5004559
Where's that OP at
>>
>>5004925
Depressed, because you didn't pay his rent though paypal as always Abel
>>
>>5004926
No one will pay unless he goes the NSFW artist route
>>
op is deadp
>>
>>5008532
Bread is stale and OP is dead, very sadness.
>>
OP is currently being held by communist overlords. pls hold until bread
>>
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>>5008700
oh no
>>
>>5008732
>communist waifu vampire
HnjnngG!
>>
>>5008732
shotasniffer off-panel preparing her boots
>>
>>5008732
Is China Communist's hat supposed to be some kinda dragon wearing an ushanka superrimposed over a witch hat?
>>
>>5010334
it's a communist dragon witch the best kind of witch
>>
OP is still in the gulag
>>
I wonder if we will ever get tired of communist jokes. Is it really that bad in Vietnam?
>op literally stuck in the work camp
>he is not getting out ever
>>
OP has just fallen into the pit from the first session and he's too fat to climb out on his own.
>>
>>5011402
ey no spoilers
>>
>>5011404
where that OP at
>>
i cant believe op is fucking dead..........
>>
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No bread, but here is a burger instead. Straight from Luke's Grill.
>>
>>5012261
dude nice
I actually named Luke did you know? i used to be on the top of the world back in the day
>>
>>5012264
entire thread is just an advertisement for Luke's Sausage Party Grill
Vegans not welcome
>>
OP passed out last night.

Much apologies
>>
>>5012698
What about tonight
>>
>>5012750
Hopefully able
>>
>>5012754
So now
>>
Still stuck in pit. Thread in 12 hours.

For really reals
>>
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>>5013048
>For really reals
>>
>>5013048
where you at OP
>>
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>>
>>5013475
Where have you been young man! YOUR MOTHER HAS BEEN SO WORRIED
>>
>>5013475
get back to the quest thing, OP
>>
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>>5013478
>>
>>5013482
hey get out here now
>>
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Alright gang. What's the scoop. Whassahappening
>>
>>5013486
we moving forward with the encounters
Mob Knights lead the way
>>
>>5013486
>>5013490
Just make sure they don't drunkenly blunder off
>>
>>5013486
Practice the kamehameha while we look dungeon crawl
>>
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>>5013490
Yes. Deeper into the tunnels we go. Who knows what sort of creatures await
>>
>>5013499
get a shiver down our spine
>>
>>5013500
>>5013495
But fire a hadoken into the darkness instead.
>>
>>5013499
Definitely not cannibal mutants but ghouls
>>
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>>5013500
Visions of skeleton

>>5013502
Sadly you are not the Wizard Knight and therefore has no access to beam attacks
>>
>>5013505
You don't need to be a wizard knight! WEEB KNIGHT HAS GOT GUTS! Beam attacks are part of the weeb code!
>>
>>5013505
Pedophilic and childkilling skeletons are a myth, designed to scare children into not coming out of their homes.
>>
>>5013505
AAAAAAAA FUCKING SKELETONS
>>
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>>5013508
>>5013510
Skeletons are indeed a myth. Some say that inside you right now is a skeleton even! Preposterous!

>>5013507

Beams are indeed a myth. Some say that inside you right now is a beam even! Preposterous!
>>
>>5013517
well let's hope we don't get jumped by skeletons
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>5013517
I will pull this Beam out of me and show you the truth! Not just a steel beam but a plasma one that I can hit people with! YOULL SEE, YOU ALLL WILL SEE!
>>
>>5013517
The undead aren't real, what we just saw was an illusion
>>
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>>5013524
Roll 1d100 to see if you get jumped by skeletons

5-100: No
1-4: yes
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>5013528
Get the jump on those clearly terribly-disguised nooks instead
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>5013528
JESUS
>>
>>5013528
Skeletons, yes.
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>5013528
My weeb sense is tingling
>>
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>>5013529
>>5013531
>>5013536
GASP
>>
>>5013538
OH MEH RAH
SHINDARU!
>>
>>5013538
Man, Quattro has really fallen on hard times if he has to squat in Tower City like this.
>>
>>5013538
We get the first attack
>>
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Rolled 33, 25, 28 = 86 (3d50)

>>5013542
>>5013543
>>5013546
Anyway everyone roll 1d50

+10 bonus
>>
Rolled 1 (1d50)

>>5013552
>>
Rolled 16 (1d50)

>>5013552
Fear the Reaper, man.

>>5013555
You love to see it.
>>
>>5013555
Welp being a weeb I think I have it coming....
>>
Rolled 28 (1d50)

>>5013552
AW SHIT NEGRO
>>
Rolled 18 (1d50)

>>5013552
AAAAAA
>>
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THE KNIGHTS CHARGE IN! ANNIHILATING THE OPPOSITION, BREAKING THROUGH THE AMBUSH WITH GREAT SKILL!

Except for Orkuzashi.

Who tripped.
>>
>>5013562
Damn, unlucky of him
>>
>>5013562
Loot weapons
>>
>>5013562
Poke him with the blunt end of the Scythe to see if he had a spontaneous aneurysm and died.

Also examine the Amulet we found and attempt a lore check to understand it's powers.
>>
>>5013562
That's just my secret technique! I was just so fast that when I finished I went back to where I started and then tripped! It's a goofy master trope I tells yah!
>>
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I'd hate to end it so soon, but the fucking communist overlords are calling and I must go. Will continue in about. 10-ish hours.

In the meantime, roll 1d100 to lore check the amulet. Add your special to it. Highest roller gets to pick the amulet's power from this list:

- Pick 1 stat, that amulet will now gives a +1 to that stat, no take backs
- Amulet has ghosts trapped in it. Can be used as an attack. Has 4 charges
- Gives water breathing
- Gives +5 to every roll outside of combat
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>5013573
URAH!
>>
Rolled 37 + 3 (1d100 + 3)

>>5013573
Hmm, yes. This amulet is made out of amulet.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>5013573
>>
>>5013574
Daymuh
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>5013573
Uh oh
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>5013573
Crit or miss baby!
>>
>>5013574
>>5013577
So what does the amulet do, Mr. 95?
>>
>>5013657
>>5013573
gives +5 to every roll outside of combat obviously
that shit stacks quick
>>
>>5013658
Good choice.
>>
>>5013574
>>5013657
Well, my two cents is that the stat increase is very useful. So too is the +5 buff outside of combat, which may come in handy for the Holy Grail search.

However, the only chad option is the water breathing. Imagine how much beer you can chug without the need to come up for oxygen?
>>
>>5013573
some shit happened
>>
Death is a preferable alternative to Communism.
>>
>>5014338
Shit still happened?
>>
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my internet hates me. it disconnected all afternoon
>>
>>5014455
Commit seppuku
>>
>>5014455
Is this a continuation?
>>
>>5014465
>>5014460
Continuing in like 2 hours
>>
>Ioseph is a germanic autist with an axe
>Horace is a french priest and a three musketeers reference
>Gar is an italian zealot and mecha engineer
>i forgot the rest bob was something fucked
damn, when you think about it, NAP has complex themes and deep, thought out and developed characters
>>
>>5014488
NAP, where sometimes you get lots of development, and sometimes you get something like Zebra.
>>
>>5014491
>implying Zebra isn't the top skeleton in the entire NAP cinematic multiverse
You could write a book about the complex, retrospective themes surrounding the character Zebra. By his origin he is a reference to the award winning Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, in which, unfairly punished, he becomes an avatar of revenge but that's just the beginning. The avant-garde concepts of the 4th wall breaking meta-dimensional personage cannot be completely understood without exploring the extinct Pruthenians' folk tales surrounding the undead as well as ancient confusian classics on morality and are truly groundbreaking and revolutionary. A brainlet like you can never appreciate them
>>
>>5014470
2 hours passed
>>
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>>5014533
>>
>>5014541
Secret face planting techinique!
>>
>>5014541
>>5013574
>>5013658
>>
>>5014541
Poke Weeb with the pointy end of the Scythe to ascertain if he's dead or not
>>
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>>5014548
NOw the real question is:

Who's gonna take it?
>>
>>5014558
If not for my technique you all wouldn't have been able to prove yourself useful. it should go to me
>>
>>5014558
The less than-mediocrity of the Mob Knights dictate that they would be good for a buff to bring them slightly more in line with the party.

Alternatively the Twinkle can use it to become even more jack-of-all trades.
>>
>>5014558
me
>>
>>5014565
me
>>
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>>5014565
And who are you, mysterious Anon
>>
>>5014568
I am the mob
mob always wins
>>
>>5014568
>>5014569
roll for it
except for the trip knight
>>
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So far we have 2 votes for Mob and 1 for Weeb,

And also 1 for OP
>>
>>5014577
vote for the mob
>>
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Congrats Mob Knight. You got this totally not a Skyrim reference
>>
>>5014579
A wise decision you never want to cross the mob
>>
>>5014580
My ancestors spirits weep
>>
>>5014580
And now we loot the dead bodies while weeb cries in the corner
>>
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>>5014582
MEANWHILE, IN THE SPIRIT WORLD

"unga bunga"

"unga? Unga unga"

"fuck you"
>>
>>5014586
>>5014585
>>
>>5014586
Speak to my spirits for their wisdoms
>>
>>5014582
I would weep too if my descendants became filthy weebs
>>
>>5014591
I sense a darkness in you, have you been consumed by a heartless?
>>
>>5014586
Don't make me bunga you in the unga, pal
>>
>>5014592
No. Things that happen in your eastern debauchery scrolls do not represent real life.
>>
>>5014595
That's not true, in my scrolls have great knowledge!
>>
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As Orkuzashi tries to use weeb magic, Twinkle takes the opportunity to loot the corpses while no one's looking
>>
>>5014602
Now have my spirit ancestors guide us to our next location
>>
>>5014602
Snicker while watching Orkuzashi
>>
>>5014602
Did they drop good loot
>>
>>5014602
Lady Twinkle, the map if you would. Being lead by the ancestors of a man of so little virtue is bound to lead to endless filler arcs and over-the-top combat scenes that is simply too expensive for OP to handle. Better to follow the map.
>>
>>5014610
CENTURIES LATER...
"I can't help but feel the need to strangle a scythe knight for some reason." - Shotasniffer.
>>
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Rolled 48 (1d50)

Lilly Knight. Roll 1d10 to see how much gold they had. They don't really have much else

Orkuzashi roll 1d50 against my roll to see if you can actually communicate with your ancestors. Add your special to the roll

As Gustaf will now go over to Twinkle to ask for her map. Will the Lilly Knight decide to share the loot?

Meanwhile, the Mob DISCRETELY snicker at the weeb
>>
Rolled 21 (1d50)

>>5014613
Depends, does he even want gold? Maybe he can take the weapons.
>>
>>5014613
>43 is the number to beat
The ancestors are displeased.
>>
>>5014614
>1d50
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>5014613
>>5014614
>>5014616
Oops
>>
Rolled 37 (1d50)

>>5014613
>>
>>5014613
>>5014613
What's the special again?
>>
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>>5014618
4 coins. These thugs are poor

>>5014622
See >>5003665

Yours is 5
>>
>>5014624
The mob is always devoted to the goal and the great struggle, Advance forward ahead of the group, become the vanguard and secure our path to victory
>>
>>5014624
Open the map.
>>5004538
Looks like we're at the first room.
>>
>>5014624
I don't see number to my special is it 5?
>>
>>5014633
Nvm it's 5 I'm stoopid
I still fail the roll
>>
>>5014633
Yes little weeb. Each colored square means 1 point.

Except for HP. 1 pip means 2 points for HP
>>
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>>5014632
>>5014626
Yes. Indeed you are in the first room an------the Mob Knights are running into the tunnel before everyone else
>>
>>5014641
YEAAH GLORY AWAITS I THINK I SEE THE LIGHT IN THE TUNNEL
>>
>>5014641
Chase after them Sonic Run Style
>>
>>5014641
hoo boy
>>
>>5014641
Godess preseve me. It's like babysitting the disabled.

Casually walk after them.
>>
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As the others went after the Mob, they see a light in the tunnel.

WHAT IS THAT LIGHT?

Roll 1d50, Mob knight, everyone else will have to live with your choices

40-50: Yeah it's just a torch
20-39: A torch...carried by enemies!
3-19: The light are the glowing eyes of mutant cannib---I mean ghouls
1-2: it's a train
>>
>>5014663
A train would be very cool.
>>
>>5014667
Is this a jinx or a reverse jinx?
>>
Rolled 35 (1d50)

>>5014663
>>
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>>5014672
A mysterious Anon
>>
>>5014675
Oh crap guys its OP
Quick, shoot him.
>>
>>5014675
Fire at op
>>
Rolled 31 (1d50)

>>5014663
Sorry I was distracted by a carrot on a dangle
>>
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>>5014686
>>
>>5014693
WATASHIIIIIIIIIII
CHARGE IN WITH KATANA BLAZING
>>
>>5014694
Swipe the Scythe at them before they can react.
>>
>>5014693
Puff out the torche
>>
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Rolled 30 (1d50)

>>5014694
>>5014695
>>5014696

Roll 1d50 my dudes

Add your Speed to your rolls. Refer to here >>5003665
>>
Rolled 14 (1d50)

>>5014697
bro I get +4 speed!
so cool...
>>
Rolled 22 + 5 (1d50 + 5)

>>5014697
>>
Rolled 5 + 10 (1d50 + 10)

>>5014697
I bet I'm so fast I can attack twice per turn.
>>
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>>5014700
>>5014702
>>5014703
>>
>>5014705
Rigged dice.
>>
>>5014705
Says the guy who has never rolled in his life you would have gotten a 1
>>
Rolled 36 + 5 (1d50 + 5)

>>5014697
Sorry had to poop
>>
Rolled 38 (1d50)

>>5014697
NNOW
>>
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>>5014710
>>
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>>5014726
do that thing from that old flash samurai game where the screen turns red and the enemies top half flies off with a trail of blood followign them
>>
>>5014726
damn, nice job orkuzashi
>>
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>>5014727
>>
>>5014734
nice, steal their torches now
>>
>>5014734
Slowly sheeth sword
>>
>>5014734
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKMw2it8dQY
>>
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>>5014735
>>5014737
>>
>>5014743
doy tashi mashteh
>>
>>5014743
Examine the walls for secret doors or passageways. According to Urchin Boss, these tunnels was used for informants, they would have to use all the dirty tricks to escape capture.
>>
>>5014743
>>5014748
let's help scythe knight with this
>>
>>5014743
More lootings occur
>>
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Alright, anybody's searching for secret passages, roll 1d50. Mob Knight gets a +5 bonus due to amulet.

If looting, roll 1d10 to see how much gold you find.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d50)

>>5014775
Come brothers, search the walls! There must be a passage here that will let us skip this stage!
>>
Rolled 4 (1d10)

>>5014775
ayyyyyyy
>>
Rolled 48 (1d50)

>>5014775
oh shit, for secret passages; I don't wanna loot
>>
Rolled 7 (1d10)

>>5014775
10
>>
>>5014782
Champion of the Godess
>>
Rolled 6 (1d50)

Damn, forgot to roll for the secret door.

Here we go
>>
Rolled 10 (1d10)

>>5014790
>>
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Secret Passage found.

Also the party found 10 gold
>>
>>5014799
Smoke bomb through the secret door and continue through
>>
>>5014799
Excellent work, Brother Abel. The Godess has certainly blessed you. Now once more into the breach!
>>
>>5014799
oh boy I hope we don't find more difficult enemies in here
LET'S GOOOOOOOO
>>
>>5014802
>>5014804
You all should be congratulating me for my kill.
>>
>>5014808
no way fag
>>
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>>5014808
>>
>>5014810
Teleport behind you
Nothing porsonel kid
>>
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Anyhoo. Gotta suspend for now, I gotta go, uh, do my taxes. Yeah.

Thread continues in like, 10 hours

Updates be here:https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>5014814
where's that OP at
>>
>>5014814
yeah where
>>
>>5014814
Op we are worried
>>
OP might not have working internet
or is stuck in the wage cage
>>
>>5015422
is both
>>
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>>
>>5015694
No.
>>
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>>5015697
Yes
>>
>>5015699
This can not be...
>>
>>5015699
Is that you Sensie?
>>
>>5015699
oh no also someoen help me
>>
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>>5015706
In his delerium, the weeb is imagining his supposed "sensei"
>>
>>5015715
Wake the fuck up, Samurai. We have to walk through this secret entrance to skip this level.
>>
>>5015715
great now he's muttering
>>
>>5015715
>>5015719
>>5015716
Have a dream about waifu sensie
>>
>>5015719
And who are YOU, mysterious anon in the back
>>
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>>5015726
>>
>>5015727
He is the Man With No Game!
>>
>>5015731
The most mysterious of Knights, the one you unlock only after you beat the game on hard mode with no deaths. The Gunslinger Knight of the West.
>>
>>5015734
A myth but also a hope
>>
>>5015727
>>5015731
>>5015734
>>
>>5015727
Op dead again?
>>
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>>5015734
>>5015738
Ah yes. A mythical future of the Lilly Knight that will never come.


Also, Im gonna be real with you here. My internet is not looking good
>>
>>5015756
Impressive sharks that can eat OP's internet at will.
>>
>>5015758
If God is willing, we shalt procceed into the secret pathway!
>>
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>>5015763
>>
>>5015767
HENCFORTH
>>
>>5015767
I wonder how far this tunnel will take us.
>>
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>>5015771
Who wants to roll for it
>>
>>5015776
Oh dear.
>>
>>5015776
I do!
>>
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>>5015781
And which knight are you, mysterious lone hero in the back?
>>
>>5015795
What the hell is a knight?
>>
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>>5015806
Something that lets you roll dice.

And also pay OP money
>>
>>5015809
Seems good.
>>
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>>5015812
Now roll 1d50

45-50: Leads you straight to the exit, no frills, no ambush, no traps
35-44: Leads you to the room right before the exit, naturally, the level boss is in there
20-34: Leads you to the room right before the exit, naturally, the level boss is in there, and you have to do platforming along the way
2-19: Leads you halfway to the exit room, there's still half of the dungeon left
1: Leads you right to the exit, but you run into an enemy band of Knights.
>>
Rolled 42 (1d50)

>>5015823
We should encounter those enemy knights already, hopefully get a stab or 2 in before they get to the grail.
>>
>>5015776
Me since I have a name
>>
>>5015826
This is what negative speed looks like.
>>
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>>5015824
>>
>>5015830
Winning.
I've already done the hard part of rolling well, so someone else can go open the door.
>>
>>5015830
Open the door with extreme gusto.
>>
>>5015830
LETS FUCKING GO
>>
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Rolled 18 (1d50)

>>5015839
Roll 1d50 to defeat this door

Gustaf has 7 Power bonus
>>
Rolled 26 + 7 (1d50 + 7)

>>5015847
Oh lord have mercy, how am I supposed to beat 11
>>
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>>5015848
>>
>>5015868
Use secret technique, Pocket sand!
>>
>>5015868
Stride into the room with holy fervor
>>
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Rolled 150 (1d150)

>>5015869
Roll 1d50
>>
>>5015876
>inb4 weeb knight gets obliterated
>>
Rolled 31 (1d50)

>>5015876
This shit ain't fair
>>
>>5015876
>150 out 150
Dice is rigged
>>
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Orkuzashi rushes forward, throwing the handful of sand he had into the room! Sadly the room is pretty big and whoever's in it was standing nowhere near the secret door. The sand falls to the ground harmlessly
>>
>>5015886
Offer the boss some beer to get him drunk
>>
Rolled 26 (1d50)

>>5015876
>>
>>5015886
>and whoever's in it was standing nowhere near the secret door
Well I guess we could try looking at the rest of the bloody room.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d50)

>>5015886
>>
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>>5015887
I dunno, they don't look like the type to accept drinks from strangers
>>
>>5015904
put on the mob knight charm, they could actually be some pretty chill dudes and we don't even know it y'know
>>
>>5015904
Kick the sand from the floor in their faces.
>>
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Rolled 30, 16 = 46 (2d50)

>>5015905
The Mob Knights puts on the ol' Mob Knight charm! The shambling ghoul knight doesn't respond, while its master the Cult Wizard prepares to order it to stab Abel and Cain in the dick! Roll 1d50 against my first roll

+4 Special Bonus

Cult Wizard has +7 Will bonus
Ghoul Knight is under the wizard's control and is immune to charm

>>5015911
Meanwhile, Orkuzashi dashes in, aiming to kick up the sand onto them! Roll 1d50 against my second roll

+7 Speed Bonus

Cult wizard has +5 speed bonus
Ghoul Knight has +3
>>
Rolled 18 (1d50)

>>5015916
Sha shaaaa
>>
Rolled 29 (1d50)

>>5015916
>>
Rolled 30 (1d50)

>>5015916
CAN'T STAB US
>>
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>>5015922
>>5015921
"ALCOHOLISM DESTROYS LIVES! STAB THEM IN THE DICK!" The cultist yelled, luckily, Orkuzashi runs in just in time to kick up sand into their faces, blinding them!
>>
>>5015930
Secret technique, Onimusha Capcom Swordryuken!
>>
>>5015930
LET'S GET INTO COMBAT NOW
destroy this fucking loser with the mob knight combo of MACE AND GREATSWORD
>>
>>5015930
>>5015932
Seconding Sony Capcom Kanehamehan.
>>
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Rolled 5, 26 = 31 (2d50)

>>5015932
>>5015933
>>5015935
Each of you roll 1d50.

Weeb Knight has +5 special bonus
Mob Knight has +4 Speed Bonus
Cult wizard has +3 speed bonus
Ghoul Knight has +1
>>
Rolled 14 (1d50)

>>5015945
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>5015945
URAH
>>
Rolled 39 (1d50)

>>5015945
>>
>>5015930
>>5015945
Take Cult Wizard's advice and stab him in the dick first.
>>
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Rolled 34 (1d50)

>>5015952
>>5015956
The Cult Wizard cowardly hides behind his ghoul! Letting it tank both the Weeb Knight and Mob Knight attacks!

>>5015959
But then Twinkle dashes in! Aiming right his dick!

Lilly Knight roll 1d50 and add your +10 Speed Bonus
Cult Wizard has +1 Speed bonus

Meanwhile,

Weeb Knight roll 2d4 plus your power bonus of +6 for damage

Mob Knight roll 1d7 plus your power bonus of +4 for damage
>>
Rolled 50 + 10 (1d50 + 10)

>>5015977
IKEEEE!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d7)

>>5015977
LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOO
>>5015979
CALM DOWN
>>
Rolled 1, 3 + 6 = 10 (2d4 + 6)

>>5015977
OBLITERATEE
>>
>>5015979
QUICK! ROLL 1d2 + YOUR POWER BONUS OF +5 FOR DICK DAMAGE
>>
Rolled 1 + 5 (1d2 + 5)

>>5015986
THEY'RE OFF.
>>
Rolled 3, 4 + 6 = 13 (2d4 + 6)

>>5015977
>>
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THE GHOUL KNIGHT TOOK 13 DAMAGE! WHILE THE CULT WIZARD EATS 6 DAMAGE TO THE DICK! THE TERRIBLE PENIS PAIN HAS CAUSED HIS CONTROL OVER THE GHOUL TO WAVER! THE GHOUL WILL SWING WIDLY AT EVERYONE IN A MAD DAZE!
>>
>>5015993
Jeeze chill out dude
>>
>>5015993
Teleport behind ghoul while his crony is unresponsive
>>
>>5015993
The time has come to finish off Cult Wizard with a emotional crit.

So, will that Ghoul be your adopted son now? Ohohohoho...
>>
>>5015993

Try to hook ghoul knight's neck with our scythe and slam it on ground.
>>
>>5015993
dodgeroll ghoul's swings and open his stomach with a precise cut
>>
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Rolled 6, 25 = 31 (2d50)

THE GHOUL KNIGHT IS ERRATICALLY SWINGING HIS SWORD AT EVERYONE! ROLL 1d50 AND ADD YOUR RESPECTIVE SPEED AS BONUS
>>
Rolled 28 + 4 (1d50 + 4)

>>5016008
MOB KNIGHTS DODGE OUT OF THE WAY WITH A BACKFLIP
>>
Rolled 17 (1d50)

>>5016008
Smoke bomb
>>
Rolled 8 (1d50)

>>5016008

Faith is our shield!
>>
Rolled 26 + 10 (1d50 + 10)

>>5016008
Play to your strengths, children.
>>
>>5016016
>Successful dodge
My my, training says that this is the perfect time to counter with a riposte.
>>
Rolled 7 + 7 (1d50 + 7)

>>5016008
SPEED
>>
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Rolled 1 (1d5)

>>5016015
>>5016013
ORKUZASHI AND GUSTAF IS CAUGHT IN THE ATTACK!

imma just gonna roll for damage

+8 Power Bonus for the Ghoul Knight
>>
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>>5016030
Orkuzashi the Weeb Knight now has 1/10 HP left
Gustaf the SCythe Knight now has 7/16 HP left

On the bright side, the Ghoul Knight and the Cult Wizard is now open up for attack
>>
>>5016038
sake to heal
>>
>>5016038
WE HAVE TO END THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL
AN ALL OUT ATTACK WITH ALL OF THE KNIGHTS!
>>
>>5016042
Call it a cool name and I'm in.
>>
>>5016043
Assisted Harakiri
>>
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>>5016042
>>
>>5016051

Start praying for holy swole buffs and cast it on us.
>>
>>5016053
All a all out attack! Just pile on!
>>
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>>5016053
>>5016054
Sooounds like relenting
>>
>>5016051
>>5016053
>>5016054
LET'S FUCKING DO IT
X TO ATTACK
>>
>>5016054
>>5016058

Ok, I changed by mind... Press X for DEUS VULT ATTACK!
>>
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>>5016059
>>5016061
EVERYONE ROLL 1d10. THE TOTAL OF EVERYONE'S ROLL WILL BE THE DAMAGE

+5 bonus to the total

GHOUL KNIGHT: 37 HP LEFT
CULT WIZARD: 4 HP LEFT
>>
Rolled 6 (1d10)

>>5016064

HOLY BRUTALITY!!!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>5016064
CHESTOOOOO
>>
Damn, All Out Attack that amounts to only 14 damage, c'mon Kniggas
>>
Rolled 1 (1d10)

>>5016064
DO IT
>>
>>5016074
Correction.

15 damage
>>
>>5016064
>CULT WIZARD: 4 HP LEFT
I knew I should have finished with his right nut.
>>
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Damn, the Weeb is just gonna leave the team high and dry like that huh
>>
>>5016082
yeah, he's focused on himself
everyone shuns him for being a weeb and not a fucking team player
>>
>>5016082

It seems that Weeb fall into his weeb delusion again.

I'm gonna sleepnow and somebody else need to take over Gustaf.
>>
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Since the foolish, foolish weeb didn't roll and add to the total. The All out Attack dealt 15 points of damage! Killing the Cult Wizard and leaving the Ghoul Knight at 22 HP!

It's 4AM now so OP gotta go to sleep. Will continue when.....it can continue. Toodles.

Updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>5016097
Sorry fell asleep
>>
>>5016443
Foooooool
>>
In 6-7 hours maybe?
>>
>>5020440
Is dis op?
>>
>>5020486
No
>>
>>5020496
Has it been 12 hours?
>>
>>5020497
It has, but thread won't continue in at least, uh, 6 hours. Communist Overlords aren't letting me go
>>
>>5020501
Stop posting on a Korean Gameshow Board and keep picking the rice, peasant!
>>
>>5020486
No I just checked the twitter.
>>
OP ded
>>
>>5020697
Seems that way. If only the communist over lords understood that all work and no play make OP constipated
>>
my eyes are kinda fucked right now, pls hold
>>
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>>
>>5020748
Lets bust this joint.
>>
>>5020748
Long ago in a far away land, Orkuzashi, step forth to appose the threat of the missing cup of holiness.
>>
>>5020748
This is unrelated to the quest, get back to Weeb Knight dying.
>>
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>>5020753
>>5020750
>>5020749
>>
Rolled 39 (1d50)

>>5020755
Does this help?
>>
>>5020755
Nice.

ERR I MEAN OH NO, BROTHER ORKUZASHI IS TERRIBLY WOUNDED! WE MUST END THIS COMBAT WITH ALL HASTE LEST HE FALL BY THE HAND OF OUR ENEMY!
>>
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Alright, next round o' combat.

quick recap:


Lilly Knight: 10/10 HP
Weeb Knight: 1/10 HP
Mob Knight: 12/12 HP
Scythe Knight: 7/16 HP

Ghoul Knight: 22/50 HP
>>
>>5020762
Infuse the Scythe with Holy Light for a damage buff and then strike the abomination!
>>
>>5020762
Ok, I do blade of holy weeb
>>
>>5020762
Ghoul Knight still has his right or left nut, unless they've both rotten off. Lets go for it.

What the heck I hit post.
>>
>>5020762
Dickshot and kill steal this bitch.
>>
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>>5020776
>>5020778
Alright anons. What's with you and nuts. You got something to tell the rest of the class?
>>
>>5020784
Lilly is a lesbian, we're just playing the part.
>>
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>>5020786
Are you

Are you really
>>
>>5020787
Honestly yeah, I'm surprised this didn't happen sooner.
>>
>>5020784
Only if the show doesn't keep rolling, it'll be your nuts next OP. We'll let the vampire communist waifus do it.

>>5020787
I don't see the show rolling OP!
>>
The mob
>>
>>5020787
They're just mad the boy they liked didn't want to go to Knight Prom with them and now they've become reactionary Lesbian because of it.

"I was a Lesbian this whole time, I just didn't realize it until I was rejected I swear"
>>
>>5020795
Bold words from someone with balls in stabbing distance.
>>
>>5020793
Ah fuck, you're right, I guess I'll take the bullet and RP as them until they get their act together.

>>5020762
Give him the old fashioned Smash and Slash!
>>
mob
>>
>>5020795
Aim for Scytheboi's nuts instead. If we can find them, that is.
>>
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Alright. So. Lemme see if I got this right.

Gustaf and the Weeb will attempt to buff their weapons with The Light™ and attack the Ghoul knight

Twinkle will attempt another dick stabbing. Perpetuating the cycle of Dickphobia

The Mob will run in and do a good ol' attack
>>
>>5020762
>>5020799
Damnit name!

>>5020801
What is it Able? Did little Cain fell down a well?
>>
>>5020806
Seems right to me.
>>
>>5020806
Sounds right
>>
>>5020806
That would be a mob thing to do, so yeah
>>
>>5020806
It do be like this.
>>
>>5020811
We'll shiiit....
>>
>>5020817
>Well shiiit...

I don't know why my autocorrect keeps fucking with me.
>>
>>5020806
sounds good, but see if we can combo with ourselves
>>
>>5020826
Oh shit. I- ah- I gotta take a leak. All that beer, amirteokbye-!
>>
>>5020817
Gross
>>
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Rolled 46, 20, 25, 26 = 117 (4d50)

Alrighty then. Everyone roll 1d50

The Ghoul knight will roll against you in this order: Gustaf, Orkuzashi, Twinkle, Abel and Cain

Gustaf has +5 Speed Bonus
Orkuzashi has +7 Speed Bonus
Twinkle has +10 Speed Bonus
Cain n Abel has +4 Speed Bonus

Ghoul Knight has +4 Def
>>
Rolled 32 + 10 (1d50 + 10)

>>5020834
Ain't nothin gonna stop my stride.
>>
Rolled 12 + 7 (1d50 + 7)

>>5020834
>>
Rolled 18 + 5 (1d50 + 5)

>>5020834
>46
Every single fucking time with this bullshit.
>>
Rolled 1 + 10 (1d50 + 10)

>>5020834
Yo
>>
>>5020835
wooo dick stabbed
>>
>>5020839
Well, it's a good thing I didn't roll for ya, Able and Cain.
>>
Rolled 50 (1d50)

>>5020834
AYYYYYYYY
>>
>>5020844
Impressive.
>>
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I choose to have selective vision
>>
>>5020844
Can't beat the classics!
>>
>>5020850
Don't you dare op
>>
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>>
>>5020853
>>5020850
It would be really funny though.
>>
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>>5020850
Welp, I guess that's my cue to commit seppuku and not bother you lads again.

>>5020835
I'm sorry that I fucked us over again, sister. I don't deserve to be called a fellow Knight of the Lily. I failed my sisters most of all.
>>
>>5020857
Excuse me but I believe it's called Sudoku!
>>
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Shenanigans aside. GUSTAF AND ORKUZASHI CHANNELED THE HOLY LIGHT INTO THEIR WEAPONS. THEY LEAP IN, PREPARING TO SMITE DOWN THE UNDEAD ABOMINATION.....and the both fucking missed.

At least Twinkle and the Mob managed to hit.

Lilly knight roll 1d2 + your power bonus +5 for damage
Mob roll 1d7 plus your power bonus of +4 for damage
>>
Rolled 5 + 4 (1d7 + 4)

>>5020860
URAAAAAAH!
>>
Rolled 2 + 5 (1d2 + 5)

>>5020860
Quick question, why is Twinkle's damage dice so low, anyways? I think its the lowest in the group at 1d2+5, although Abel/Cain is supposed to be lower.
>>
>>5020863
Dexfag rapier.

Mob used to have a lower dice but they got new weapons from the safehouse
>>
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>>5020859
>>5020860
>Weebknight attempting to hit the enemy
>>
>>5020866
Didn't Lily pick up the dagger that she could throw? How much damage is that worth?
>>
>>5020870
>could throw
They're just normal daggers apparently, although they can be thrown if you're strong enough.
Well, I don't actually think I will.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d5)

>>5020870
Let us consult the holy dice to see what will its dice be
>>
>>5020874
>1 (1d5)
OH NO NO NO NO NO
>>
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OP must one again state that he does not rig the dice
>>
>>5020879
dexfags deserve the rope, OP
strength chads run this shit
>>
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Anyhoo, the Ghoul has 6 HP left
>>
>>5020888
nice trips, OP
Mob Knight defends weeb Knight cause he's the lowest HP dude
>>
>>5020882
Don't make me roll in your name.
>>
>>5020889
Areegat toe>>5020888
Go in defence stance
>>
>>5020888
Well swing it bastard.
Shouldn't it just drop dead since its necromancer died?
>>
>>5020888
Just take his head off ffs.
>>
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Rolled 48 (1d50)

Now the Ghoul attacks!

Everyone except Orkuzashi (since the Mob will tank for him) roll 1d50. Add Yer Speed . Lowest gets hit.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d50)

>>5020898
WE CAN TAKE IT!
>>
Rolled 31 + 5 (1d50 + 5)

>>5020898
>>
Rolled 7 + 10 (1d50 + 10)

>>5020898
Well, lets go.
>>
Rolled 50 + 10 (1d50 + 10)

>>5020898
Lol
>>
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>>5020905
And with that, I'm out lads. Best to leave off on a high note, and this is probably the best I'm gonna get with this rigged dice. Later mates.
>>
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Rolled 2 (1d5)

>>5020900
CAN YOU?!

The Ghoul rolls for damage

+6 bonus
>>
>>5020927
YES WE CAN
URAH
>>
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>>5020927
The Mob has 4 HP left
>>
>>5020937
we okay, let's finish this guy off
>>
>>5020937
Again, strike with the Holy Light Infused Scythe. At some point I will connect a damn attack even if it kills me.
>>
>>5020937
WASABI STRIKE!
>>
>>5020937
Oh no, looks like I'm the only one getting out of this unscratched.
>>
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The Ghoul is falling apart! It won't even get any bonus to defend itself this turn!

Surely NOW Gustaf or Orkuzashi will manage at least 1 hit in
>>
>>5020949
MOB KNIGHT GOES FOR THE DECAPITATION
>>
>>5020949
I'll be withholding my attack this turn so the losers can get a hit in.
>>
>>5020949
Strike!
>>
>>5020949
Washoy!
>>
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Rolled 41 (1d50)

Attackers. Roll 1d50

Add yer speed
>>
Rolled 50 (1d50)

>>5020965
SMASHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
>>
>>5020966
Ok once I get but twice??!
>>
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If the Scythe Knight and Weeb Knight manage to roll >41 they get to hit first. Maybe something will finally go right
>>
Rolled 29 + 5 (1d50 + 5)

>>5020965
>>5020970
Dice are fucking rigged
>>
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>>5020972
>>
Rolled 6 + 10 (1d50 + 10)

>>5020965
Wait, what would I roll if I had attacked? Lemme check.
>>
Rolled 33 (1d50)

>>5020970
>>
>>5020987
>only 40
MOB KNIGHT ALWAYS WINS BABY
>>
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The Mob Knight may or may not have paid Dice God
>>
>>5020991
hey dice god is one of our best friends
ain't got nothing to do with bribing
>>
>>5020991
Call the God Police!
>>
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>>5020991
Disgusting behaviour.
>>
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Since literally nobody hit but the Mob.

Mob roll 1d7 plus your power bonus of +4 for damage
>>
Rolled 4 (1d7)

>>5021001
URAAAAAAAH!
>>
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>>5021005
yey

Victory
>>
>>5021008
We gotta loot and level up, OP
>>
>>5021008
I need to heal aru
>>
>>5021008
Boss: Defeated
Experience: Huge
>>
Are we winning, knights?
>>
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For beating the level boss. Perhaps the party Will be blessed by the Divine Knight of Level Ups
>>
>>5021023
LET'S GOOOOOOOO
>>
>>5021023
Praying for natural 50.
>>
>>5021023
WOOOOOO
>>
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Alright. Roll for loot. Highest gets picked:

1-20: 1 level up + 10 coins
21-40: 1 level up + 15 coins + Ghoul Knight Sword
41-49: 1 level up + 20 coins + Ghoul knight Sword + Cultist Ring
50: 1 level up + 30 coins + Ghoul knight Sword + Cultist Ring
51: 3 level ups lmao
>>
Rolled 43 (1d50)

>>5021048
I can't wait to fail the level up roll.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d50)

>>5021048
>>
Rolled 12 + 5 (1d50 + 5)

>>5021048
let's hope this amulet does something
>>
Rolled 35 (1d50)

>>5021048
>Need at least 21 for the ghoul knight sword
Its literally right there, what the hell is it gonna do
>>
>>5021051
good stuff gustaf
>>
>>5021051
Okay blessed.
>>
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>>5021054
The sword returns to its home planet
>>
>>5021076
grab it before it goes away
>>
>>5021076
Grasp the handle firmly!
>>
>>5021076
I'll trade one extra Level Up in exchange for letting the sword leave.
>>
>>5021076
GRAB IT
>>
>>5021076
I MUST GO NOW, MY PEOPLE NEED ME
>>
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oh wait Gustaf rolled a 43 nvm
>>
>>5021093
Good to see the QM doesn't expect me to pass any rolls I make ever.
>>
>>5021093
what's the stats on the sword and ring?
>>
>>5021093
Grasp the handle FIRMLY
>>
>>5021093
CLIMB THE SCYTHE AND GRAB THE UNHOLY BLADE
>>
>>5021093
This >>5021096 also does the ring look stylish
>>
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>>5021096
GHOUL KNIGHT SWORD:
-Is a sword.
-Jagged and looks of rust but can still cut normally, probably due to wacky magic
-1d5 damage roll
-Pretty big for a one-hander, allowing it to hit up to 2 targets per attack

Cultist Ring:
-Is a ring
-Adds +2 to damage rolls
-That's about it
-Probably
>>
>>5021130
Purify the cultist ring through the secret mob technique of pouring beer on it
>>
Hit >>5021134 in the face.
>>
>>5021137
nigger do you not see the last two things
>-That's about it
-Probably
There is almost ALWAYS a downside
>>
>>5021139
Oh no I totally do, but stop pouring beer on my hand while I'm holding it cunt.
>>
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>>5021137
Roll 1d50 to hit Mob Knight in the face

Mob Knight roll 1d50 to not get hit in the face

Add your speeds as bonuses
>>
Rolled 25 + 4 (1d50 + 4)

>>5021144
URAAAAAAH
>>
Rolled 13 + 10 (1d50 + 10)

>>5021144
>>
Rolled 39 (1d50)

>>5021144
>EYES
>>
>>5021144
While this brawl is ongoing, Gustaf will examine the ring for curses and skeletal shenanigans.
>>
i'd like to propose for us to show our faces now that we've all gotten to know each other
>>
>>5021164
Agreed, please take off your helmet for a moment.
>>
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Rolled 24 (1d50)

>>5021153
Roll 1d50 to check for curses and/or skeleton shenanigans

Add your special for bonus
>>
>>5021166
no way fag you first
also, you're on your period lilly knight
get a grip
>>
Rolled 3 + 3 (1d50 + 3)

>>5021170
Oh wow, a check I could possible pass if my dice didn't suck.
>>
>>5021176
Fuckin
>>
Rolled 6 + 4 (1d50 + 4)

>>5021170
>>5021176
well, this is gonna take the mob knights to fix this
>>
>>5021179
Nice roll fagt
>>
>>5021182
maybe u are rigging the dice, OP
anyways how about them level ups
>>
Rolled 26 + 5 (1d50 + 5)

>>5021170
Well I'm probably gonna be the one wearing it, let me do it.
>>
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>>5021185
Ah. Yes. The ring is enchanted with a small curse. To put it on, you must pass a Will check. Else you take damage and the ring won't be equipped
>>
>>5021188
hey, this is mob knight's chance to try it on if lilly knight doesn't get it
>>
>>5021188
So we'll basically be taking turns to see if we can equip it then, starting with Twinkle.
>>
Rolled 43 + 5 (1d50 + 5)

>>5021188
>Check OP
>Everyone has higher WILL than I do
Here I go.

Hopefully Weeb Knight doesn't suicide himself on the ring.
>>
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>>5021198
Well I was gonna say the check is 20.


BUt now the check is magically 48 instead
>>
>>5021198
'Aight. Best have the ring that gives +2 damage on one of the two knights with rigged dice. Unless OP doesn't take this roll since you rolled before you were asked.
>>
Rolled 49 + 9 (1d50 + 9)

>>5021202
uhh based?
WE ROLL
>>
>>5021202
>48
Okay so I still pass.
>>
>>5021207
Actually fucking rigged, this is some serious fucking bullshit shenanigans.
>>
>>5021198
>>5021207
Today isn't seppuku today
>>
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>>5021207
>>
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>>5021207
>>5021208
The check is now magically 84 instead
>>
>>5021213
come on stop bullshitting OP
just give it to Lilly Knight already
>>
>>5021213
Or Mob Knight whatever, his roll was announced after you declared it.
>>
>>5021213
Orkuzashi will not try om the ring seeing how the curse is rigged.
>>
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>>5021214
>>5021216
Well, shenanigans aside. The check IS 20. So having both passed.......decide between yourselves who gets the ring. It's your equipment, after all.
>>
>>5021219
we don't need it cause we got new weapons
have at it, twinkle
>>
>>5021219
>>5021220
Well I guess
>I gets the ring
>Weeb Knight gets the sword since he failed to get anything in the backroom
>>
>>5021222
Yes, this.
>>
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Welp. All's well that ends well. Good job team. See ya
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>5021226
Throw a banana under OP's path
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>5021226
Not so fast you little shit. We haven't leveled up yet.
>>
>>5021226
Grapple the QM
>>
>>5021226
>Steal the last 20 coins everyone forgot about.
>>
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>>5021229
Nuuoooohh
>>
>>5021236
>OP hasn't come up with the level up options despite there being an hour and a 1/2 since this post
>>5021023
>>
>>5021236
secure the Level Up briefcase
>>
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>>5021238
hmmmmmm
>>
>>5021236
It's either the Level Up Screen, or you're going back into the Communist Rice Paddies. Make your choice.
>>
>>5021242
2 stat points and a choice of perks/skills would be useful
>>
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>>5021245
Got it. You get 0 points and no skills or perks.

But you get a hotdog and handshake
>>
>>5021251
Get us the dang level up screen, OP
>>
>>5021251
Shake op like a new born babeh
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>5021251
Steal the Level Up briefcase
>>
>>5021251
Well if you want my opinion, I think 1 stat point a level and 1 perk/skill every 2 levels would be nice without exploding our power level too fast.
>>
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Alright.

Level Up.

The Level Up screen. For levelling up.

Everyone gets 1 stat point to spend.

And gets a choice of 1 out of 2 perks :

Gustaf:
- Ancient Blessing : Channel your displeasure at OP's rigged dice and summon forth the powers of your secret Order. Allows 1 dice re-roll each encounter.

- Holy Harvest: Any kills with your Scythe heals a party member of your choice. Amount healed is the same as the damage you dealt as the killing blow

Lilly Knight:
- Barrage: The Pure Lilly Covent School for Proper Ladies Secret Technique Number 1. Make 6 attacks at once, rolling a d50 for each of them. but the Enemy only get 1 d50 roll. Only usable once per combat. Afterwards you need a rest if you wanna use it again

- Momentum: The Pure Lilly Covent School for Proper Ladies Secret Technique Number 2. Once per combat, you can add your Speed to Damage calculation. Also needs a rest to recharge

Weeb Knight:
- Quickdraw: If you manage a hit during the first round of combat, it deals double damage. Does not activate from round 2 onwards even if you didn't make an attack on Round 1

- Honorabu Duel: If you get into a 1v1 fight then you get a +3 to all stats except HP

Mob Knight:
- Alcoholism MK.II: Beer now heals for 7 HP each swig instead of 4

- Jump 'Em!: Roll 2d50 for attack accuracy in the first round of combat. Does not activate in the second round onwards even if you didn't attack in the first round
>>
>>5021319
>One point into Strength
>Jump' Em!
>>
>>5021322
uh power I mean, lmao
>>
>>5021319
Honerabu duel sounds pretty cool
>>
>>5021328
>>5021328
>>5021319
Honerabu duel and 1 point in strength
>>
>>5021319
Honorabu Duel and +1 Power
>>
>>5021319
>Channel your displeasure at OP's rigged dice
Aha, admittance! The dice are loaded!

>1 point into Special
>Ancient Blessing

Lets face it, I ain't going to hit shit this whole fucking quest. Might aswell just become a hybrid buff bot/tank, maybe pick up a taunt skill at some point down the line.
>>
Momentum turns LIlly knight 1d2+5+2(cultist ring) into a 1d2+5+2+10

damn

however, if Lilly Knight chooses barrage that's gonna be 9 x 6 for 54 damage on max roll and all of it hits
hot damn
>>
>>5021319
Okay, Original Twinkle, if you don't show up soon I'll choose the perk and stat increase myself.
>>
>>5021340
Such is life in the zone
>>
>>5021340
might as well pick it so we can move onto the next floor and get to some story
>>
>>5021337
>Lilly Knight gets to casually deal upwards of 50 damage per encounter in a single turn and I get one die-reroll to maybe deal 7 damage
A joyous day indeed to be Scythe Knight
>>
>>5021345
>I only get an option to have two dice in the first roll of the encounter
me and you both buddy; but Twinkle and Orkuzashi have the better backstories for combat.
>>
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>>5021345
Then perhaps, you would want to purchase one of these...Balance Patches
>>
>>5021352
DON'T DO IT
TODD HOWARD WILL MAKE YOU BUY SKYRIM FOREVER
>>
>>5021345
>Lilly Knight gets to casually deal upwards of 50 damage
I do believe you guys are reading this perk wrong.
>>
>>5021358
choose your fucking perk and stat already
>>
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>>5021319
Okay girls lets do this.
>Try and increase my speed to 11
>>
>>5021362
NO DON'T
YOU'RE UNLOCK THE SECOND PHASE OF THE GAME TOO EARLY
>>
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>>5021366
Don't listen to these guys. The game will surely not scale up and start throwing enemies with 10+ stats at you
>>
>>5021369
HNNNNRRRG
DON-
>>
...

>>5021319
Anyways, I'd say my preferred distribution would be:
>+1 POWER
>Barrage Perk
>>
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>>5021371
>>
>>5021384
thank god level ups are done
>>
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Also currently Barrage's max damage output is 20 if everything goes well for every roll
>>
>>5021319
>>5021384
>>5021371
yeah something like this
>>
>>5021392
nice, hope we get a cameo soon of the skeletons
I miss em already especially the skeleton siblings
>>
>>5021396
I too miss jacking my dick right off to Shotasniffer.

I mean skeleton shenanigans. yeah. yeah
>>
>>5021394
>simply picks what I was gonna pick anyways
Woooow
>>
>>5021397
what would the sequel's plot even be about
I think we hit the limit for skeleton island 2
>>
>>5021392
20 damage on a single attack is still more damage then I've dealt this entire quest. Hopefully this can change with a re-roll or two.
>>
>>5021399
Who the fuck said anything about a sequel
>>
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>>5021400
But my dear Gustaf. Don't you feel ticked off by your dice? Won't you get one a' these supplements. C'mon. Just get one. As a treat.
>>
>>5021402
Skeleton Island Reboot: The Re-sequel 2

Where the Chillsaiders and Quattro are cool and lead the Skeleton Siblings instead of Shotasniffer.
>>
>>5021405
>Reboot so Quattro and Lilly also have their own seasons
>Turns out it's all filmed on the original skeleton island to get views
>>
>>5021405
This is less likely to happen than Scythe Knight rolling a nat 50
>>
Rolled 3 (1d50)

>>5021412
almost as likely as me rolling a nat 1
>>
>>5021404
Can I get the one where you stop rigging the dice and advance the plot?
>>
>>5021404
>>5021414
Welll yeah, what's behind the skeleton? The exit?
>>
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>>5021414
Sure here you go
>>
>>5021420
get it and advance the plot
>>
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>>5021421
Great!

You got to the exit and have passed through the secret tunnels up onto the next tier of Tower City!
>>
>>5021423
congratulate ourselves by doing a face reveal
>>
>>5021423
Holy crap is that a physical copy of Skyrim?

>Stab it in the nuts
>>
>>5021427
by that I mean the mob knight bros take off their helmets
>>
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>>5021427
>>
>>5021437
come on OP, do the actual face reveal
I also wanna see the other Knights' faces as well
>>
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>>5021439
What face
>>
>>5021437
ENHANCE
>>
>>5021441
You know the face under the helmet, OP
>>
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>>5021443
>>
>>5021441
I need to take my helmet off of face to see if my helmet has hair now.
>>
>>5021445
come on OP we gotta see
>>5021447
even Lilly Knight wants a face reveal
>>
>>5021447
>>5021448
Weeb takes his helmet off as well
>>
How to stop the plot from progressing 101
>>
>>5021454
hey, don't you want to see with Gustaf looks like under the helmet?
>>
>>5021454
OP has already decided the plot is not gonna progress for now (probably until he comes back) so that's that.
>>
>>5021455
There's no budget in Skyrim Knights™ for character models underneath the armor, and Gustaf is already disappointing enough without having to RNG his looks.
>>
>>5021462
Take the hood off at least
>>
>>5021462
>RNG his looks
RNG is the best part
>>
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>>5021462
This man speaks truth. There are no face models under the helmet. We do not have the budget
>>
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>>5021473
>MGS
I bet you're doing one for Twinkle and Orkuzashi right now OP
also budget for face is cool; how much do you want me to pay
>>
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>>5021476
>I bet you're doing one for Twinkle and Orkuzashi right now OP

No I aint.

I'm lazy
>>
Rolled 50 (1d50)

>>5021477
how about if I roll 40+
>>
>>5021479
You don't wanna see what Twinkle looks like under that helmet. Trust me
>>
>>5021483
you've tempted me
I cannot resist
DO IT
>>
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>>5021484
I warned you
>>
>>5021489
TODD HOWARD???
>>
oh ufkc
>>
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Dang it anons. You gone and crashed the dang ol' game.
>>
>>5021496
Verify the integrity of the game, OP
You were messing with the game files
>>
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>>5021504
And that's why we should never do this again.

Ever.

Forever.
>>
>>5021508
OP, you didn't buy the DLC that's why
>>
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>>5021510
>buying things
>>
>>5021508
proceed
>>
>>5021514
well, try pirating the DLC
it might be jank but it'll run just the same
>>
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>>5021519
What's jank is that it's 4AM and I gotta sleep.

Thread's over until...it's not. See ya anons.

Updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>5021535
SEE YA OP
>>
>>5021535
4ish here
>>
404: OP NOT FOUND
>>
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much apologies, OP took a nap

and forgot to set an alarm
>>
>>5023555
>>5021535
So what does the ring give us
>>
>>5023561
What do you mean what does the ring give you
>>
>>5023561
a blood clot in your finger
>>
>>5023567
The bonus
>>5023569
Or that
>>
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>>5023569

>>5023574
+2 damage you ninny
>>
>>5023576
Fine, jerk
Looks like the end of the dungeon is here anyway
>>
>>5023576
I think this ring really highlights Twinkle's inflated ego.
>>
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>>5023579
Dun dun
>>
test
>>
>>5023581
>>5023583
drag everyone else to the exit
>>5023580
and this guy
>>
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>>5023586
Obviously, as the rest of the party is in a coma, Twinkle the Lilly Knight drags them to the exit. And also one random anon
>>
>>5023590
now where are we
>>
>>5023586
>>5023590
Time to drop my disguise.
>>
>>5023590
May the Godesses blessing befall the random anon for his aid.
>>
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>>5023594
SON OF A BITCH, IT'S HIM
>>
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>>5023596
>>
>>5023596
Did lvl up heal the knights?
>>
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Anyhoo. You made up a tier. Let's hope you can find some clues to where the Grail is
>>
>>5023601
hnnyyyes
>>
>>5023602
let's go
>>
>>5023605
Weeb will live another day.
>>5023606
What she said
>>
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>>5023606
>>5023608
Alright, now who waanna roll to look for clues
>>
>>5023611
The Godess shall leads us to the culprits!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d50)

>>5023611
Weeb rolls out of the way
>>
>>5023615
Not with that 2 he won't.
>>
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Rolled 26 (1d50)

>>5023611
Alright. So. Anybody who wants to investigate. Roll 1d50

+10 Bonus

If the Mob Knight somehow wake up, they get an additional +5 bonus to the 10
>>
Rolled 28 + 10 (1d50 + 10)

>>5023618
I can't wait to roll lower than 17. The Godesses whims are fickle.
>>
>>5023618
Waiwaiwait zoom in on weeb
>>
Rolled 1 (1d50)

>>5023618
Might as well take the reigns
>>
>>5023623
>>5023619
Amazing
>>
>>5023619
Wtf Gustaf is based now? OP rigged the dice backwards.
>>
>>5023625
Its a disappointing sequel for a reason
>>
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>>5023619
>>
>>5023629
Knock politely on the gate and inqure about the Grail.
>>
>>5023629
Knock
>>
Rolled 36 (1d50)

>>5023629
KICK THE FUCKING GATE IN
>>
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Rolled 9 (1d50)

>>5023631
>>5023632
The knights knock on the gate. From inside, a voice yells out "We're not buying whatever yer sellin' !"

>>5023633
But before anybody can respond, Orkuzashi attempts to kick down the door.

Orckuzashi please roll 1d50 against the door
>>
Rolled 4 (1d50)

>>5023635
Kicking the dice, boss.
>>
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>>5023637
Oh goodness gracious
>>
DICE ARE RIGGED
>>
>>5023635
Fucking rude, lets climb up the wall using other mob knight as boost
>>5023637
Its okay we still love ya
>>
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>>5023637
Orkuzashi SLAMS into the gate and came real fucking close to breaking his own damn leg. As the weeb writhes on the ground in pain, reports come in of Gustaf taking lessons from the Mob knight and paying off dice God
>>
>>5023643
Lies and Slander. I am a pious man and do not resort to such underhanded methods. The Gods have simply noticed my plight and delivered suffering in equal to my fellow Knights.

Anyways, I attempt to Scythe the Door open. Surely nothing could go wrong here.
>>
>>5023643
I HAVE NO MONEY OP THIS KATANA IS FUCKING REAL IT COSTED A FORTUNE
>>
>>5023643
Try to climb over the wall by using one mob knight as a boost for the other
>>
>>5023643
Weeb focuses real hard on acting like he can feel no pain and aids Gustaf in prying the gate open with his own blade.
>>
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Rolled 21 (1d50)

>>5023645
>>5023647
>>5023654
Surely these bozos will fare better
>>
Rolled 2 (1d50)

>>5023656
One can hope
>>
Rolled 13 (1d50)

>>5023656
Disaster awaits us all.
>>
Rolled 22 (1d50)

>>5023656
sigh
>>
Man I think OP is the one bribing the dice
>>
>>5023661
Sqeaky clean pass. Not even close, OP.
>>
>>5023665
We have the power of God and Anime on our side, brother.
>>
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>>5023665
Yes, but what if. Behind the gate.

Is another gate
>>
>>5023670
That one's a cardboard cutout, you can't fool my highly trained senses.

Push it over and continue into the compound.
>>
>>5023670
GOD AND ANIME
>>
>>5023670
Fuck it, battering ram (knight) it is
>>
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>>5023671
>>
>>5023674
Batter him!
>>
>>5023674
Aggressively accost the Acolyte about the Grail. If he doesn't talk, shake him upside down and take his lunch money.
>>
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Rolled 25 (1d50)

>>5023678
>>5023680
Roll 1d50 to perpetuate the cycle of violence
>>
Rolled 33 (1d50)

>>5023681
Right, one in 2 chance, I surely can roll more than 10 this time at the least
>>
Rolled 45 (1d50)

>>5023681
Violence is always a good answer to any problem!
>>
>>5023674
Drag Twinkle to the crime scene
>>
>>5023684
ゴゴゴゴゴ
>>
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>>5023682
>>5023684
>>5023686
>>
>>5023693
Right, now about that grail
>>
>>5023693
Did we make out any information about the Grail in-between the Cultists shrieks of pain?

If we didn't, march into the Temple. There has to be something of note in there.
>>
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Rolled 15 (1d50)

>>5023695
>>5023700
Roll 1d50 to see if you managed to hear anything of use. Inbetween the cultists shrieks of pain
>>
Rolled 31 (1d50)

>>5023704
The beatings will continue until information is acquired
>>
Rolled 42 (1d50)

>>5023693
Use my ninja training to plant evidence for vandalized gate and brutalized acolyte on Twinkle...

Rolling for hearing.
>>
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>>5023705
>>5023706
The Grail has indeed been brought here to this compound. And you're on luck too! Using the tunnels meant that you made it in time to stop them from using the Grail in some sort of dark ritual! They're still in the prep phase!

Also Orkuzashi managed to pin the crime on Twinkle
>>
>>5023714
Quickly, Brothers! We must stop these Hedonist from corrupting the Grail!

A very enthustiastic charge into the Temple takes place.
>>
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>>5023716
And so the knights charge into the Cultist Temple!


And I must apologies for ending this so seen, especially since I'm late. But I uh, gotta go. Next thread whenever, toodles.

https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>5023714
I wonder if anyone will notice if we drank beer from the grail
>>
>>5023722
Defile the artifact and I'll give you the beating your parents should have
>>
thread will resume in about 2 days

probably`
>>
>>5025083
But what's the purpose of the grail if not to hold liquids?
>>
>>5027891
Alcohol is a liquid of temptation and conflicts with the mercy of our Goddess
>>
>>5023706
*stab*
>>
>>5028276
What about wine?
>>
>>5026645
Maybe
>>
>>5028276
A liquid nonetheless!
>>5028286
*dodged*
>>
OP still locked down in his gulag by the commies?
>>
when are we gonna get another collage of all characters like the one you got in your twitter pinned OP?
>>
Quick question OP, are you rich?, because it seems that you make a lot of quest in not much time (im new to your quests, and checked what have you done)
>>
>>5028630
When I stop being Lazy

So maybe never
>>
>>5029391
No I'm pretty sure I'm not rich.
>>
>>5029391
OP is not a part of the Party, so he's not allowed to be rich
>>
>>5029522
Wake up pretty sure your 10 hours are up!
>>
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>>5029716
>
>>
>>5029801
Skeleton Island 3: Lily's Knight Quest
>>
>>5029801
where we at bros?
>>
>>5029801
spooky
>>
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>>5029810
YOu're currently at the part where you hand OP all your money
>>
>>5029823
You'll get paid after you finish the game, OP.
>>
>>5029823
Hand op eastern money, Gil
>>
>>5029823
so OP confirmed as cultist?
>>
>>5029823
How about you finish the plot first, OP
>>
>>5029823
bribery detected
also weeb knight's crotch is now top on my list for stabbings
>>
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>>5029825
>>5029828
Damnit

>>5029826
Man I can't buy anything with fish gills. The hell are you on

>>5029832
>>5029827
Welcome to the Cult of OP. Where you don't have to do much except pay OP money
>>
>>5029832
Tsunadere chan washoy!
>>
>>5029838
Kick Op in the shin
>>
>>5029838
Just stab the cultist's corpse's crotch to really put the fear into the cult
>>5029840
what the fucking fuck was that
>>
>>5029838
Yes, hello. We're here to disturb an evil ritual, can you direct us to the combat scenario?
>>
>>5029838
Stab OP cultist guy
>>
>>5029840
>>5029842
>>5029846
>>5029843
>

>>5029844
"Uuuuuh, we don't know what you're talking about. What evil ritual"
>>
>>5029855
OP got wrecked so we didn't even get an image
>>
>>5029855
BAKA!
>>
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>>5029855
CAPTCHA ate my image
>>
>>5029862
>>5029855
Offer said cultist dudes alcohol to wisen them up
>>
>>5029855
>>5029862

You know, the ritual involving the Grail? We know you have it so don't bullshit me. I'm close to leveling and you look like just enough experience.

[Meanacingly brandish the Scythe]
>>
>>5029862
angrily scream to scare the cultists into revealing their plans
>>
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Rolled 18 (1d50)

>>5029864
"Sorry. We don't allow alcohol in our religion"

>>5029865
>>5029868
Roll 1d50 for intimidation

Cultists have +3 Will bonus
>>
Rolled 10 (1d50)

>>5029872
>>
Rolled 5 (1d50)

>>5029872
Nice, time to fail the diceroll.
>>
Rolled 32 + 5 (1d50 + 5)

>>5029872
looks like mob knights will have to intimidate as well
URAH
DIE NON ALCOHOLICS
>>
>>5029879
looks like the teetotaler cult fears alcohol more than raging lesbians or brooding tearers
>>
>>5029872
Give them the Manga Glare
>>
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>>5029879
"NO! ACCURSED TEMPTATIONS! STAY BACK FIENDS! BROTHER! RUN AND WARN THE OTHERS! QUICKLY! WE MUST NOT LET THEM POLLUTE THIS TEMPLE!"
>>
>>5029896
Chase them! They might have the jump scroll manga
>>
>>5029896
HEY WAIT A MINUTE WE JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU A BEER
>>
>>5029896
Scooby Doo chase scene, go.
>>
>>5029896
[unintelligible yelling]
>>
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>>5029898
>>5029899
>>5029900
>>5029901
>>
>>5029920
START POLLUTING BY THROWING BEERS AT EVERY CULTIST WE SEE
>>
>>5029920
[LOUDER SCREAMS OF INARTICULATE RAGE[
>>
>>5029920
Tilt every painting we run past to mess with the aesthetics of this temple.
>>
>>5029920
Replace as many of their scrolls with superior eastern ones
>>
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>>5029923
>>5029925
>>5029930

Ah

Vandalism
>>
>>5029951
Wait...the grail! Where is it!
>>
>>5029951
Throw ninja stars at the fleeing Robert men
>>
>>5029951
>>5029954
yeah what this guy said
where's the fuckin' grail
>>
>>5029951
continue until cultist give information
>>
>>5029951
Now to find the grail! Onwards brothers!
>>
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>>5029956
you threw projectiles at Robert. Who were passing by outside

"Hey fuck you" Robert says
>>
>>5029960
NO FUCK YOU ARU!
>>
>>5029960
Robert-sama, do you know where the Gureiru(grail) is?
>>
>>5029960
>>5029958
>>
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Anyhoo. As the Weeb Knight yells at a random passerby outside the window, the rest of the party sees some cultists at the end of the hall way.

"QUICK BROTHERS! BARRICADE THE DOORS! THEY MUST NOT REACH THE INNER SANCTUM"

"WE MUST KEEP IT ALCOHOL-FREE"
>>
>>5029960
Find the damn grail
>>
>>5029971
WHERE'S THE GRAIL
>>
>>5029971
Throw a bowl of sake at one of their heads
>>
>>5029971
BROTHER ABEL, WE MUST PERFORM THE HOLY KNIGHT BATTERING RAM MANOUVER! EQUIP YOUR HEAVY HELMET AND GET IN POSITION!
>>
>>5029971
>>5029976
LET'S GET THIS GRAIL
URAAAAAAAAAH
>>
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>>5029974
>>5029975
>>5029976
>>5029977
>>
>>5029989
URRREAAAAHHH
>>
>>5029989
DO NOT STOP FOR ANYTHING, BROTHERS! FOR THE GODESS!
>>
>>5029989
URAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>
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Alright chumps. Imma need you to all roll 1d50 so that your total will add up to be at least 150

Add your highest stat as bonus.
>>
Rolled 26 + 6 (1d50 + 6)

>>5030003
>>5030003
>>
Rolled 10 + 7 (1d50 + 7)

>>5030003
Mr Cultist, tear down this wall!
>>
Rolled 5 + 10 (1d50 + 10)

>>5030003
SPEEEEEED
>>
Rolled 49 + 7 (1d50 + 7)

>>5030003
>>5030006
Using my once an encouter re-roll here to see if I can roll lower than 10.
>>
>>5030008
Nice.
>>
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And on this day. When all the party needed was a 47 from the Mob. They totally beefs it by not even showing up
>>
Rolled 45 + 9 (1d50 + 9)

>>5030003
>>5030018
sorry boss, had to get food I was hungry
>>
>>5030019
Glory and Honor!
>>
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>>5030019
oh shit they actually did not beef it
>>
>>5030021
BUST THROUGH THE DOOR
>>
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>>5030024
>>
>>5030030
FIND THE GRAIL
IT SHOULD BE HERE
>>
>>5030030
The team strikes a very cool pose.
>>
>>5030030
Do a Sentai Pose! When the dust clears.
>>
>>5030030
MORE SCREAMS AS YOU POSE
>>
>>5030030
oh yeah pose as well
>>
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>>5030055
>>5030046
>>5030037
>>5030035
>>
>>5030059
Explosions behind us
>>
>>5030059
Scan the room for enemies and the grail.
>>
>>5030059
>>5030062
Agreed
There might be some tougher cultists
>>
>>5030059
Threaten to stab all their crotches and mutilate their bodies if they don't tell us where the grail is
>>
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Alright so. OP's getting sleepy so let's end this episode on an enemy reveal cliffhanger.

And since I'm such a nice guy, I'll let you choose what the level boss is:

- Really jacked Cultists
- A beast of some kind
- Golems or some shit I dunno
- You are too late, they have finished the ritual to summon forth the apocalyptic forces of the DEMON KNIGHTS from the Infernal Realms. Why would you pick this option tho
>>
>>5030070
You guys pick, I'm tired
>>
>>5030070
>really jacked cultists
>>
>>5030070
Jacked golem
>>
>>5030070
>A beast of some kind
Give us fucking monstergirls
>>
>>5030074
And who might you be, mysterious anon from the shadows
>>
>>5030070
>Really jacked Cultists
We've interrupted the Ritual of the Gains!
>>
>>5030076
One who forgot the name
>>
>>5030070
>>5030072
>>5030078
THE GAINS BRO
>>
>they broke thru a door
Great accomplishment's
>>
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>>5030081
>>5030078
>>5030072
"You jabroni knights got the wrong address"

"The tavern's two blocks down"

"We'll show you who's boss of this temple"
>>
>>5030114
o shit
>>
>>5030114
Pillar Cultists!
>>
>>5030114
Fuck you
>>
>>5030114
SCREAM
>>
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As Gustaf and Abel stands shocked, Twinkle starts screaming. Louder than usual. The amount of beef in the room right now can't be good for her raging lesbianism

"fuckyou" Says Cain.
>>
>>5030140
I'm an artist, im a performance artist...............
>>
>>5030140
Draw sword all cool like
>>
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Anyway. That's it for this thread. For realsies. Thank you for helping me continue to deteriorate my health. next time we'll move on to Part Threeeeeee Probably.

Updates b here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>5030152
This thread has received a DMCA take-down notice by David Productions.
>>
>>5030163
Fuck
>>
>>5030140
Cain take that bottle out of...oh nevermind then
>>
>>5030140
>>5032005
OP explain yourself
>>
>>5032005
>>5032293
>Fuck You
>Doing the leatherman pose
What do you think
>>
>>5032507
True.
>>
>>5032293
There is nothing to explain
>>
Should have recruited server character Quattro to solo this instance
>>
>teetotaler
>muscle
>possibly gay
what's next, vegan
>>
New throd
>>5035917
>>5035917
>>5035917



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