>>5075383
>>Hell Knight: You signed a contract to get demonic powers.

Lawful evil best evil.

File: 9874320489723.png (884 KB, 2000x1584)

884 KB PNG

>>5075383
>Plague Knight: You're a very very very sick motherfucker.
Time to grow nasty ass pus boils

>>5075383
>Hell Knight: You signed a contract to get demonic powers
Daemonic invasion of the realm of Light, yes please. That'd show those righteous pricks

>>5075383
>Death Knight: You died and didn't want to leave when it was your time.

>>5075383 (OP)
>Death Knight: You died and didn't want to leave when it was your time.

>>5075383
>Not a Knight: You're just an underhanded asshole with a sword.

What the hell does the progression path for this look like? Just becoming a skillchad? I hope so, unenhanced skillchads are based.

>>5075383
>Not a Knight: You're just an underhanded asshole with a sword.

A paladin fucked my mom

>>5075383
>Fallen
Fallen heroes can make for the best villains. Plus we can have our former allies join us through manipulation creating an order of fallen paladins.

>>5075383
Not a Knight.

>>5075383
>Plague Knight

>>5075383
Death paladin because death can suck my rotting dick. The law never dies.

>>5075410
>>5075383
My ID might've changed, but I'm swapping my vote to:
>Death Knight
Since Hell Knight doesn't seem to be winning any time soon.

>>5075383
>Hell Knight: You signed a contract to get demonic powers.

>>5075473
Speak for yourself mate.

>>5075383
>Hell Knight: You signed a contract to get demonic powers.

There is a tie between Hell Knight, Death Knight, and Not a Knight so I'll end the vote later than I was going to.

>>5075440
There's no reason not to answer. Not a Knight is a pure fighter with a lot of dirty tricks and thief skills. Each choice has room to specialize and branch out.

>>5075519
I should say that Fallen and Plague Knight aren't closed to voting.

File: 87230547092541.jpg (3.54 MB, 2560x2857)

3.54 MB JPG

I guess people don't wanna go on St. Lazarus shenanigans and cough up bloody phlegm daily. Shame

>>5075445
+1
A bastard in its most traditional sense. A cunningly brutal Motherfucker. Like a stray dog without remorse

>>5075445
+1

>Not a Knight: You're just an underhanded asshole with a sword.

>>5075383
>Plague Knight

The vote is now closed. I'll tally them and then we'll start.

>Fallen: 1
>Hell Knight: 3
>Death Knight: 3
>Plague Knight: 3
>Not a Knight: 6

It's settled. You are Not a Knight. At least your enemies can't accuse you of lacking chivalry, since you can't have any.

You are many things. A dutiful soldier (before you were kicked out of the army for being too violent), a loyal son (before you left when things got hard), and a citizen of the kingdom (before your were declared an outlaw), but above all else, you are a free man and you don't serve any other. Your motto: "I do what I want and want what I do."

>Level 1 Evil Fighter (Rascal)
>You have 10/10 HP and have 0/10 XP needed to reach Level 2
>You have no abilities aside from a +1 to hit and +1 to damage from natural skill.
>You have a Dodge of 12, enemies need to roll 12 or higher to hit. Each time you're hit in 1 turn Dodge drops by 1d4 and resets at the start of each turn.
>You have Toughness of 0, enemies do full damage when hit unless they hit armor.

You have a tattered gambeson shirt, (40% chance to ignore 1d2 damage), a rusty shortsword, (1d4-1 damage, min 1), and a splintery buckler (passive 1-in-6 chance to block). You have enough food in your pack for 2 days. You've been walking on the kingdom's road to the outlands for 4 days. You haven't seen anyone but a patrol you hid from in the bushes.

You're starting to think you won't run into anyone unless you try to break into a homestead the hard way when you spot someone. He approaches with a walking stick and a smiling face. His clothes are fine but not fancy and he has a large bag over his shoulders. "Tally ho, traveler! By the garb I take it you're an adventurer and a new one at that! Surely, no marauder worth his salt would leave his gear in such a squalid condition! Hahahaha! I jest, but the look on your face! Tell me, have you heard any good news?"

You've seen this man for less than a minute and he's already insulted you. Now you're pissed.

What do you want to do?

>Run him through!
>Insult him back.
>Ignore him.

>>5075842
>Insult him back.

>>5075842
>Run him through!

Rolled 15 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>5075880
>>5075911
You make a snap decision. You'll insult him back and if that doesn't make you feel better you'll run him through.

>Duel of Words
>roll 1d20 vs my 1d20+4

You don't have an expertise or mastery of wordcraft so you can only roll 1 time. If you post an impressive insult with it you'll get a bonus.

Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>5075945
>Nay, I've heard seen but bad news, with that outfit you're wearing!

>>5075978
An insult fitting for the roll.

>>5075945
>>5075978
>3+2 vs 15+4
>CRUSHING DEFEAT

You think up a comeback. "N-nay, I've heard but- I mean I've seen but, no, no, wait, I've not heard but seen bad news, w-with that outfit you're wearing!" The man looks at you like a fool and laughs. "Hahaha! I see you're not an adventurer at all, but an ill-tempered invalid in his father's rags, and a jealous one to boot!"

Oh no. You've been blown the fuck out. How can you even recover? He laughs and shakes his head. "Alas, but I've nothing more to say than to thank you from the bottom of my heart, for this story will surely earn great applause at the next tavern taproom!" You stand and stare as he strolls down the road. "Hah, I bid thee well, my good simpleton, but I've better places to see and better men to meet."

Damn it. That does it. You pull your rusty shortsword and move in for the kill! He's caught completely offguard and can't move to defend himself!

>His Dodge is halved from the surprise attack, from 8 to 4. You need to roll a 4 or higher to strike.

>roll 1d20+1 to hit!
>roll 1d4-1 for damage!

Rolled 3 - 1 (1d4 - 1)

>>5075987
Pre-emptively rolling damage, because I'm a scoundrel like that.

Rolled 20 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>5075987
And now to hit.

>>5075990
Since we get -1 from the rusty shortsword and +1 from natural skill, shouldn't this actually be a straight d4?

Rolled 16 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>5075987
Damn, not being a knight versed in insults is a travesty. We must find a Word Smith posthaste so we can dunk on people verbally.

>>5075990
/devilish/

>>5075997
Yes that is a straight d4. If we took this roll it would have crit for double damage but you already rolled for damage so we'll use anon's roll that came 12 seconds later.

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>5075990
>>5075998
>16+1 vs 4
>Traveler is hit for 3 damage!
>Traveler has 2/5 HP left!
>Over half of Traveler's HP has been lost in a single blow, he must save or be stunned!
>He is unused to combat and caught by surprise, so he has to beat 16 or be stunned and lose his turn!

>>5076037
You run the bastard through the back! You miss his spine but his innards is torn and when you wrench out the shortsword, it's all wet and nasty. He stumbles on the side of the road and if it weren't for his stick would've fallen on his arse. You see he's coughing up blood. He groans in horror. "AGH! I was wrong, you were a marauder! Noble gods save me!" You don't see any noble gods here. Just you and your blade.

The traveler can hardly stand. Defending himself from you from behind is almost impossible.

>roll 1d4 for damage and make a decision

>Kill him quickly
>Kill him slow
>Just maim him

>>5076047
>Kill him slow

Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>5076047
>kill him slowly, while asking him where his family is (if he has any)
His family will pay with their blood for his insult

>>5076047
>Kill him slow

Keep chopping off parts until he tells us where his family lives.

Rolled 20 + 8 (1d20 + 8)

>>5076067
>>5076073
>Traveler is hit for 4 damage!
>Traveler has -2/5 HP left!
>Traveler has been defeated!
>+2 XP! 2/10 XP needed to reach Level 2.

You knock him on the back of the head with the pommel of your shortsword and shove him over. He goes into a fetal position but you kick him in the ribs and spread him back. The man is crying and a pool of blood is staining the grass below. "Don't kill me... Don't kill me... Please!" You already made up your mind but you don't tell him that. You step on his hand and put all of the weight on your foot. Crunch. Now he's weeping so you kick him in the side of the head. "Please! Please! I have a family, a boy and a wife, w-with child!" You look down at him, trembling on the ground. He was so full of himself just two minutes ago. You spit on his face.

"Where are they?" The traveler is breathing more shallow. "I-I..." You grab his other hand and pull out your whittling knife. Those fingers are awfully delicate. "Tell me, or else."

>Interrogation
>roll 1d20+4 vs my 1d20+8

He's afraid for his life but he's also afraid of what you might do. If he survives here, he would need very good medical care or magic to avoid death by tetanus and internal and external bleeding.

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>5076094
just gotta roll a 29

Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>5076094
Since this role is unbeatable with our current stats, will we get some, but not a lot, of information if we get close to succeeding?

>>5076094
>>5076095
>4+4 vs 20+8
>CRUSHING DEFEAT
>No bonus XP for being a scumbag


His face hardens and he looks at you with eyes of steel. The pain is absent from his voice. "My family may live without their father but they will live, and I will play the lute again in the halls of the noble gods. I will tell you nothing, cur." You smirk at his pathetic display of courage and start to saw off his pinky. He doesn't flinch when it comes off. Your smirk fades a little and he stares you down from on the grass. You saw off the ring finger and the middle finger and he doesn't even gasp or groan. You try to rip out the fingernail of his pointer finger and he laughs. He laughs at you! "RAAAAAGH!"

You take the shortsword in a fit of rage and before you can even think you chop his head clean off. He died smiling, with a peaceful look on his face. "DAMN IT! DAMN IT! DAMN IT ALL!" You kick his body and cave in the ribcage but it doesn't change anything. He's dead and you didn't even get any satisfaction from torturing him. You don't even know where his family is so you can't even get revenge on them either! Damn it! Damn it, damn it, damn it! He was your first real kill and he stole the joy of it right out of your hands! That bastard! That fancy, smug little bastard!

You're fuming mad. You can barely even think.

>Loot and mutilate the corpse.
>Calm down. Clear your head.

Rolled 8 (1d20)

>>5076094
Just castrate him and be done with it, if he ain't gonna break this is just boring nuisance I want to move on from.

>>5076115
Yes, if you rolled a 19 or 20 he would've let a small clue slip.

>>5076121
>Loot and mutilate the corpse.
>Take the head, we'll find his family the old fashioned way, they can't be far.

>>5076127
+1
We can pretend we found his body on the road and ask where his family is so we can give them the body to bury, but with our charisma rolls so far it's probably going to backfire on us kek.

>>5076127
>>5076146
>The Traveler's body is no longer recognizable
>+2 bonus scumbag XP, 4/10 XP to Level 2
You stay mad. You take the rusty shortsword and slash into the body with all of the strength you can muster. It leaves a jagged slash in the stomach. You don't stop there. By the time you're done he's in six pieces and missing most of his skin. You snap out of it. Nobody who knew the traveler would recognize them on sight but you got a little carried away and got some blood on you and your gambeson sleeve.

>Covered in Blood

People will react to you differently. That would be a good thing if you were trying to intimidate them. It would be a bad thing if they were considering if they should trust you. Extremely bad if word catches on about the body and anyone puts two and two together with a bloody stranger. If you can clean your gambeson or steal someone else's you should be fine. At worst you could leave your gambeson somewhere and move on without it. You dig in the pocket scraps and find something very good. 2 silver coins, worth 10 copper coins apiece. These could get you a room at a tavern or buy someone's silence. There are 8 copper coins too. They could get you a poor meal for 1, something like the rations you've got in your bag for 2.

Looks like the traveler was a well off man. You take the head and wipe it mostly clean on the rags. It's stopped bleeding. You can carry it without any problems. You open the traveler's bag and spot some more goodies. A finely crafted lute and food for 4 more days. There isn't room for any other food which means he's been fasting or left sometime earlier today. If he's a minstrel that could mean anything. He might've bought some more food in just the last village. Hell, the last village might be his home. You spotted farmfields earlier yesterday and went the long way around. You don't want to get caught and hung by guards and you're closer to the kingdom's heartland than the outlands. It will take at least two more weeks of walking to get there.

You pocket the coins and put the food in your bag but have to decide on the lute. You have enough room to carry it on your back and it looks valuable but you don't know how to play it and it's very obvious.

>Keep it.
>Leave it.
>Trash it.

Going back is a risk but you might find something that could lead you to his family. You could also move on to the next village somewhere down the road, which could be there this afternoon or 4 more days away. You just don't know the area well enough to be sure. You could always forget the family and move on but then you wouldn't get to see the looks on their faces when you showed him the traveler's head. That would show them to be married and born to the man that mocked you.

What's the plan?

>Move on to the next village.
>Go back to yesterday's village.
>Look for a stream to wash yourself.

>>5076273
>Keep it.
>Look for a stream to wash yourself.

>>5076283
+1

Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>5076283
>>5076286
You sling the lute over your shoulder. It's yours now. Maybe you can teach yourself how to play or make someone else show you how to. That sounds easier. You can't touch the body without getting blood all over yourself so you leave it there. There are very few travelers on the road and it isn't important if someone finds a murder happened days after you already left. It is important that you clean your gambeson. It could stop a sword thrust. In fact, it already has. You need to find some water. There might be a stream nearby and if you stick to the road you shouldn't get lost.

>roll 1d20 to beat 16 to find a stream

You don't have an expertise or mastery of woodcraft so you can only roll 1 time. If you keep searching this area the difficulty will lower by 4 each time but every attempt will take half of a day. If I roll a 96 or higher on a 1d100 someone will find the body and that lowers by 5 every half of one day.

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>5076305

>>5076273
>Move on to the next village.

We'll find this bastard's family, even if we have go balls deep in every tavern to do it.

Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>5076308
Damn. You couldn't find a stream or even a puddle and you spent all morning looking. Ah well, in for a copper in for a castle. You'll find one sooner or later. If you don't get bored and go hunting the minstrel's family tomorrow morning anyway.

>roll 1d20 to beat 12

Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>5076324
I'd rather be hunting for the minstrel's family now instead of fucking around in puddles.

>>5076324
Can we just stop wasting our fucking time? I just wanna get our revenge and fuck off.

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>5076346
You're starting to get frustrated. A full day of looking and it's been nothing but dry. The minstrel has a family somewhere in the region. He talked fancy but he didn't talk like someone from the heartland. You've heard a few outlanders and none of them sounded like him. His was somewhere in the middle. The difference is subtle but it's there. Odds are his family is somewhere in the borderlands between the heartland and the frontier but that could be anywhere in two weeks of traveling. Might be two months if it wasn't near the kingdom's road. You don't know what the family looks like either. Just that it's a boy and a woman with child. Very specific. There aren't many lute players walking the road and if you can get some answers from a commoner that's heard them play in their tavern and yammer on about their home, you could narrow it down a good deal.

You don't have a tent or a bedroll so you sleep on the ground, like some kind of animal. Like a cur. You're going to find that minstrel's family. You go to sleep and wake the next morning. It's a cloudy day but not one that would have the amount of rain you need. You've covered a lot of ground nearby. If there's a stream to find you should be near but you might be wasting your time. Most of the blood is only on your gambeson and it's not in good shape anyway. You could leave it behind and wouldn't be that much worse off. You could keep wearing it and just kill anyone who saw you and asked any questions. Or you could find some water, somewhere, and wash the blood out so you wouldn't have to worry about it. You eat a breakfast of warm bread and part of an old cabbage. Only 5 days of food left in your bag.

>Find a damned stream. You've wasted too much time not to.
>Call it off and move on. To the next village or the last village?

>>5076383
>Call it off and move on. To the next village

I'm done with this bullshit, we'll make the minstrel's family lick it clean when we find them.

>>5076383
>Call it off and move on. To the next village or the last village?

Rolled 20 (1d100)

>>5076390
>>5076490
Fuck this. You're tired of scraping around in the grass when you could be scraping tavern floors. You're going to the next village, find its tavern, and do whatever you have to do to get you digging the minstrel's sad little family out of their sad little hidey-hole. You still have some blood on your gambeson but that's fine. You'll figure it out when you get there.

>roll 1d100 to travel, 5 food left

Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>5076525
If we're lucky, it may rain.

>>5076527
Goddamned lute player and his stupid jokes and that stupid look on his face. You ought to have cut out his tongue while he was still alive. Hell, you could still do it now. His head is in your bag and it still has the tongue. Yeah, maybe you will, that'll make you feel better, yeah. "Hello stranger! Are you heading for the outlands? I hear they've broke ground on a new silver mine n'- OH! GOOD GODS!" You look up and spot two men. One old man with a walking stick and a younger one leading a donkey that looks like him but has black hair instead of brown. It was the younger one that was talking. You let yourself get lost in thought and surprised by these two coming around a bend of the road next to some hills. The older man is looking at you wary and the younger man looks concerned. "Is that BLOOD all over your shirt? And it's so patchy and torn and, oh good gods, do you need our help?" The old man, his father or his uncle, you think from how the younger man can't be north of 16. puts his hand over his chest to stop him from moving any further. "Boy. That's a lute right there but this man doesn't look like any minstrel I've ever seen."

They aren't getting violent or alarmed with you yet. The old man's suspicious and the boy is worried about you but clearly listens to the other one and would follow his lead. These two might try to fight or flee in a minute. You might be able to calm them down or simply pass them. You know if you did that they would find the mutilated body tomorrow and put two and two together. It would still be a day at least before they got to the village you left and got a response together and by then you could be gone. On the other hand, it might be fun to fight these two and after you won. You imagine a patrol finding two extra bodies in the same shape as the first one.

How do you handle this?

>Surprise attack the old man.
>Surprise attack the young man.
>Make an excuse for the blood and the lute.
>Talk to them like nothing is out of the ordinary.
>Ignore them and keep walking like they aren't there.

>>5076542
>Make an excuse for the blood and the lute.
>Talk to them like nothing is out of the ordinary.

What, can't a man learn a new trade? Plus, stay frosty, I got jumped by bandits a while back, real viscous sons of bitches too.

I honestly just want to move on instead of fight these guy, they ain't done nothing to us and I want to move on to finding and victimizing the minstrel's family.

>>5076542
>Make an excuse for the blood and the lute.
>Ignore them and keep walking like they aren't there.
well we're bound for a decent roll sometime soon right?

File: IMG_2996.png (137 KB, 872x771)

137 KB PNG

>>5076556

>>5076542
>>5076550 +1

>>5076550
Support

>>5076550
>>5076556
>>5076587
>>5076860
"What, can't a man learn a new trade? Plus, stay frosty, I got jumped by bandits a while back, real vicious sons of bitches too." The old man looks at you for a few seconds and nods. "Yes sir. Those bandits are dangerous." You can see in his eyes he doesn't believe you for a second but is playing along. The boy is more naive and speaks up. "Never know what you'll find on the roads these days." The old man squeezes his shoulder and makes a forced smile. You smile at them, genuinely. "That's why I've got the sword. Uh, got to stay safe." His grip on the stick is deathly tight. "Of course."

You whistle and look at the donkey. "What are you two wandering the road for? Isn't it harvesting season?" Near the middle of Fall, it is. The old man looks over your shoulder and back at you. "It is but we're not farmers, but toymakers, on our way to the capital in time for the winter festivals." You look closer at the donkey. "Now I know why the bulges in its saddlebags are so strange. Interesting." The donkey stamps its hooves. The old man steps to the side of the road and leads the boy, who leads the donkey to make room. "Yes sir. Well we're just a couple of humble craftsmen off to peddle our work. There's nothing else about us there is to tell. We better not waste any more of your time." You grin. "I suppose you shouldn't. Fare thee well." You keep walking and leave both of the travelers behind. They wisely wait until you're out of earshot to start talking, if they do.

They'll find the body sometime tomorrow. What happens then depends but you'll be a day ahead and they aren't too likely to get a posse. They're trying to reach the capital. Why would they care? You feel more confident in your people skills and keep walking. The sun sets when you've covered more ground and you sleep. You wake up, eat breakfast, and start walking again. You have a good feeling about today.

>roll 1d100 to travel, 4 food left

Rolled 3 + 40 (1d100 + 40)

>>5076977

>>5076980
Forgot to roll in the post. Luckily for you, it looks the old man is the cautious sort.

Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>5076977

Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>5077038
You walk and think about how you'll take your revenge. Soon, the sun is over your head and spot some farm fields off in the distance. There are a few workers there and none seem to have noticed you. They're too busy threshing their grains. The next village must be nearby.

What's the plan?

>Hide the lute and gambeson and act like a traveler.
>Wait until nighttime and sneak in on the edges.
>Just walk in. You don't have anything to hide.

>>5077040
>Hide the lute and gambeson and act like a traveler.

>>5077040
>Hide the lute and gambeson and act like a traveler

If the woman's with child we should perform a premature Caesarian with our blade. Pull out the bastard's bloodline root to stem. Rape her too if she's comely.

>>5077040
>Hide the lute and gambeson and act like a traveler.
>>5077053
Based

>>5077045
>>5077053
>>5077058
If it comes to violence you doubt the tattered gambeson will make any difference between you and these villagers. The lute won't do anything but draw suspicion, especially if they ask you to play it. You backtrack and go off the road where a specifically shaped bush is. You drop them both behind it and out of sight. Now you're a ghost. You leave them and walk down the road past the farm fields. A few wave and you wave back. You're in a good mood. You can almost smell your quarry. None of the farmers are thrown off by your rusty shortsword and splintered buckler. After all, the roads are dangerous these days. It isn't long before you reach the village itself. About two dozen structures of imported logs and mortared stone, not a building over one story beside a temple and what has to be the tavern. Might be a small smithy or somewhere you can do business near. It's early enough in the day and hard enough working that there aren't likely to be too many drinking.

What do you want to do?

>Look for somewhere to spend your coin.
>Take a walk around town and investigate.
>Head into the tavern and see what's there.

>>5077085
>Head into the tavern and see what's there.

>>5077085
> Head into the tavern and see what's there

Dark deeds are best plied with alcohol anyway.

>>5077087
>>5077098
You ignore the rest of the village and head straight for the tavern. Nothing unusual for anyone watching, especially if you were a traveler. You step through the rickety door and take a look. Its windows are large and let in some light, but the cloudy sky doesn't allow much and the room is dim. You spot a few tables, more chairs, and a handful of people sitting. Only one is drinking. A middle-aged man with a distant look in his eyes and one leg. You see an old man talking to another old man and a woman with a new baby nursing next to them. You don't see any sign of a boy but if this were the minstrel's wife, he would be in the fields, and he said she was with child, not about to give birth. You can't eliminate any possibility. You see a baldheaded, goofy looking man polishing a glass for what looks like no other reason than to be polishing a glass. He grins at you but doesn't speak any. Next to him is a wrinkly, older woman in a barmaid's dress that would've been more fitting on someone half her age. She narrows her eyes at you but has a wry smile. Clearly, this is the hospitable sort of place. Definitely somewhere a minstrel would've played.

Who do you want to talk to?

>>5077109
The barmaid. Order a drink, and mention we met a most charming minstrel on the road, and have a missive for his family if she would be so kind to direct us their way. He played so well with that lute of his, after all. Mention the lute specifically.

>>5077118
+1

>>5077118
Support.

>>5077118
+1

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>5077118
>>5077167
>>5077240
>>5077250
You walk over to the barmaid, more like barcrone, and raise a finger at the bald man who you think is the barkeep. You already know what your strategy is. Now you just have to say it.

>roll 1d20+6 vs my 1d20

You don't have any expertise or mastery of deception but she is friendly to strangers and doesn't have any reason to suspect foul play. Having a plan of what to say also helps.

Rolled 2 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>5077290
Rollan

Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>5077290
I'll be real with ya QM, these dice rolls are putting me off.

>>5077301
All I want is to steal, murder, and rape yet the Dice Gods disfavor me so!

>>5077290
>>5077301
"One drink." The barkeep starts to get one ready for you, obviously eavesdropping on the conversation, and the barmaid gets an eyeful of you. She's friendly and you smile. You hope it isn't forced. "Excuse me, m'lady, but I met a most charming minstrel on the road, and have a missive for his family if you'd be so kind to direct me their way. He was heading in a different direction but I was going where he needed to be. I would like it if you could help us out, he played so well with that lute of his, after all." The barmaid smiles when you get the mug and mutters with a dry voice. "Oh, sure! He came through here just the other day and was such a delight! He mentioned they were-" All of a sudden she gets silent and looks very closely at the cracks on your buckler. Her voice is still friendly but has a cautious edge to it. "Wait... If the good minstrel gave you a missive for his family, what was his name?"

You can't remember if he gave you a name. The barkeep's stopped with the mug and is looking at you curiously. Everyone else in the tavern hasn't noticed.

How should you recover?

>Guess the name.
>Apologize and leave.
>Try to threaten them.

If you have a 300 IQ strategy you can also do it. The greentexts are mostly a suggestion not the only choice.

>>5077304
Would you rather have a fixed difficulty for out of combat actions? Rolling has more variability but is also less dependent on your skills.

>>5077308
>Guess the name.
If failed
>Apologize and leave.

I'm honestly tired of failing so goddamned hard here.

>>5077308
>Guess the name
>Threaten if that fails

>>5077310
I find that having people roll for EVERY action tends to bog a quest down, since a character can be reaosnably be expected to have a certain base level of competence... But it's not my quest.

>>5077310
I don't know, I just want RNG to stop fucking with us on non-combat rolls. We've yet to have a success in our non-combat actions, and it's starting to grate on me a bit.

>>5077308

> Write in

" I didn't catch the good man's name, the performance was well attended. I felt I must shake his hand and came to the front before our fellow travelers could. He passed on the missive then, and quick words that he was known here and I should ask around. I apologize for my carelessness!"

Make it sound genuinely obsequious.

>>5077322
Smart play. Changing my vote from guessing (>>5077316) to this.

If it fails, though, still voting to threaten

>>5077322
Sure, this is better than nothing. +1 as well.

>>5077316
I haven't had you roll for everything so far, just to insult the minstrel, try to find a stream, and now to deceive the barmaid. The encounter with the toymaker and his apprentice was an autosuccess without a roll because he didn't want to fight you and there was no way to be sure a stream would be nearby without any skill at woodcraft. The earlier choice between mutilating the corpse and calming down was between some bonus XP with a minor downside and not getting either.

>>5077317
The first time was a crit from the minstrel and this one was only off by 2. That's a streak of bad luck. We'll do a set difficulty for out of combat actions for the rest of the thread and see how that works.

>>5077322
>>5077324
>>5077326
You think quick on your feet. The fact that they aren't hostile and you spent some time thinking about how you were going to investigate on the road helps.

"I didn't catch the good man's name, the performance was well attended. I felt I must shake his hand and came to the front before our fellow travelers could. He passed on the missive then, and quick words that he was known here and I should ask around. I apologize for my carelessness!"

>roll 6 or higher on 1d20

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>5077332
Dark gods forsake me not

>>5077338
My sacrifices have been heard!

>>5077338
FINALLY

>>5077332
>>5077338
>20 vs 6
>GLORIOUS VICTORY
>+1 bonus XP, 5/10 XP to Level 2

The barmaid shakes her head and laughs. "Oh no, I understand boy, It's me that should be sorry! I'll tell you what. You're in luck. Gilberd and his family have a lovely home just the next village over. Few houses over on the left side, he said, with a shiny silver doorknob. His wife has brown hair and lovely eyes. Can't miss her. Best of luck." Now your smile is real and you take the mug. You drink it and are pleasantly surprised. It's good ale. The barkeep shakes his head when you reach in your coinpouch. "No charge. Any friend of Gilberd's a friend of mine." You laugh out loud at the situation. "Hahaha! Good! Good." Excellent, even. You finish the ale and are a little buzzed but not enough to impair you by any means.

Now you have something better than a hint. Directions!

>Leave as soon as you can without being suspicious.
>Pay for some more of the barkeep's ale to celebrate.
>Rent a room and go to sleep on a real bed tonight.

>>5077373
>Leave as soon as you can without being suspicious.

>>5077373
>>Leave as soon as you can without being suspicious.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>5077389
>>5077395
You chat along with them for a few more minutes and finish your mug. The barmaid tells you to expect to reach it in 2 more days, 1 if you move fast. You thank her and the barkeep. Neither of them move a muscle or change their facial expression when you leave. Fools. You leave the village down the road opposite the one you came then backtrack to your hiding spot when you can't see any more farmers. The bloody tattered gambeson and stolen lute are still there. You put them both back on and take a long semicircle around the village to avoid being seen with them. Now you know where your target is, and lucky you, it's on the same path.

>roll 1d100

I'm not rolling for opposition, just the finder's >>5077040 response to finding the body. They're 2 days away and have no way to be sure which way you went.

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>5077407
Alrighty then

>>5077414
Fortunately for the edge on your blade but unfortunately for your sense of boredom, nothing happens on the walk before sundown. You don't reach the village yet either. This day was mostly uneventful outside of getting directions to your target. You go to sleep hidden away from the side of the road and dream of your revenge. You wake up and have a breakfast that tastes better than usual. Today's the day.

>3 food left but the village is so close you don't need to roll

You keep walking and it isn't long before you spot some more farmfields. These ones are thicker and more tended than the last. It seems this village was more populated than the last, which makes sense if a minstrel would make his home there. You have the directions and the population suspects nothing.

How do you want to take this?

>Go at daytime when most of the men are in the farmfields but it'll be harder to sneak.
>Go at nighttime when it'll be easier to sneak but most of the men are in their homes.

What to take? What to leave?

>Bloody Tattered Gambeson
>Gilberd's Stolen Lute

Last, what's the plan? Odds are nobody will stop you from going to the house if you don't have the bloody tattered gambeson in plain sight but after that it's anyone's break-in attempt.

>>5077421
>Go at daytime when most of the men are in the farmfields but it'll be harder to sneak.
>Leave Bloody Tattered Gambeson
>Take Gilberd's Stolen Lute
>Knock on the door, ask if Gilberd is home, as we found his lute on the road here. If we're not invited in, ask if we can be invited in. If that fails, just break in and silence the bitch.

>>5077429
+1 to most of this, but if we are let inside, ask her if she can close her curtains saying that the news is serious and we don't want anyone to hear. That way the men in the farmlands hopefully won't know of her or her child's death until we are long gone.

>>5077421
>Go at daytime when most of the men are in the farmfields but it'll be harder to sneak.

>Bloody Tattered Gambeson

Why bother sneaking? We are just returning a lute at request of a friend.

Rolled 6 - 4 (1d6 - 4)

>>5077429
>>5077460
>>5077464
You leave the bloody tattered gambeson far from the side of the road where nobody should find it. You might want to leave it behind if things end up in a chase. You take Gilberd's lute over your shoulders. Gilberd, the bastard! Gilberd, your first kill! The splintered buckler stays on your arm and the shortsword sheathed as nonthreateningly as possible. In the bag you have 3 days of food and the most important thing. Gilberd's severed head. Hahaha! You don't bother to sneak because it's very difficult in daytime without cover and it would just make you look suspicious. You approach the village as casually as possible. Like you're on business. You are.

...

>>5077468
You're almost halfway to the house when you spot a couple of men, brothers, looks like, coming back from the farmfields. They might be for lunch. They both grin when they look at you. Damn these friendly villagers. "Hi stranger! Nice day, isn't it?" "How are you faring?" Neither of them look like they can carry themselves in a fight at a glance but that could be loud. Last thing you want to do is set off the alarm. You need to be as unsuspicious as possible. Luckily they don't seem to notice the lute or care. That minstrel might not be well known or they might be the trusting sort. Nobody else is nearby. You could probably get away without any major problems if you had to run.

How do you get rid of these fools?

>Very quietly but clearly threaten them with your shortsword.
>Be friendly and talk about how nice the last village was.
>Ask them annoying questions they can give short answers to.
>Just smile, ignore them, and keep looking for the minstrel's house.

>>5077472
>Be friendly and talk about how nice the last village was.
>Ask them annoying questions they can give short answers to.

Where do they live? Do they have any family? We might want to visit them afterwards...

>>5077472
>Be friendly, but make sure we don't spend a lot of time talking to them.
The last thing we need is them getting a good look at us, or us taking to long and the family isn't there by the time we arrive.

>>5077472
>Be friendly and talk about how nice the last village was.

Keep it short, we have somewhere to be. Some people to kill. Someone to violate.

>>5077475
>>5077481
>>5077482
You grin and shake your head. You make sure to look away from them so they don't get a very good look at your face. "It is, isn't it? I'm doing well, thank you! Nice day for harvesting, yeah."

>roll 8 or higher on 1d20 to see if they get the hint

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>5077484

Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>5077484

FAVOR ME O DICE LORDS

>>5077484
OP are you taking first roll or highest roll after a certain amount of time?

>>5077485
"Yeah, it is!" "Really is, yeah." They both stop and start talking about how wonderful it is that it's harvesting season and you smile so they get suspicious. AAAAAAGH! Five minutes go by and you have to keep smiling so these stupid farmers don't start some mob over what's none of their business. Time is slipping. One of the farmers cuts in on the other one's sentence. "Hey, we're about to have lunch. Broth it is. Why don't you come to our home and get some with us?" The other one was interrupted but seems happy about it. "Yeah! We always love to meet new people. Maybe you could tell us about what you saw on the road!"

Yeah. Maybe. Rrrrraaaaaagh!

>Say you already ate and turn them down easy.
>Follow them and get a free lunch for your troubles.
>Be honest and ask them to leave you alone.

>>5077492
First roll. When you reach next Level you can improve your skills to get the highest of two on certain rolls if you want to pass up on other perks.

>>5077494
You smile so that they don't get suspicious. You're a commoner and a farmer's son and can keep up with their conversation. It's just boring you out of your mind and wasting time.

>>5077494
>Say you already ate and turn them down easy.
BUT ask them where they live so you might turn up for a meal in the future, and then kill everyone in that family once we finish eating.

>>5077494
>>Be honest and ask them to leave you alone.

Be polite, but we do have somewhere to be. Plenty to eat at Gilberd's. In multiple ways.

>>5077494
>Follow them and get a free lunch for your troubles.

Fucking bandits man. Other than that, beautiful countryside. You know where a stream is btw?

I'm wondering if they got any hot sisters we could bang for our troubles.

>>5077502
Jesus Christ dude I love it

>>5077472
>"How are you faring?"
"Ragged. I have very timely business and there are many fields left to trek, so if you'll excuse me."

Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>5077501
>>5077502
>>5077503
You can't decide what to do so you fumble your words. "Ah, uh, w-well I- uh..." One of them pats his brother on the shoulder and looks at you sympathetically. "See that sword? Man's probably a soldier on business, visiting family and such." The other farmer nods and you look at them relieved. "Oh yeah, I do. Oh damn, have we been bothering you?" Resisting the urge to glare is hard but you manage. "No, no. I'm just very busy and don't have all day to get where I'm going." The two nod and shrug their shoulders. "That's alright. We'll leave you alone then." "Enjoy the rest of your day traveler! If you change your mind about lunch we're the third house to the right on the road coming into the village." "Yeah, lunch or if you want to come visit sometime." You fake a grin. "Yeah. Fare thee well. Enjoy your lunch." They both turn and leave you to alone. Fools, poking their noses where they don't belong. Maybe you will pay them a visit.

You're able to start searching the houses now and you're careful not to be seen. Finally, you see it, a house with a silver doorknob exactly where the barmaid said it would be. That must mean that Gilberd's wife is in there and your revenge with it. Fantastic. You knock on the door and wait.

>>5077513
You hear a woman's voice from inside. "Don't worry about that! Come on in. Door's not locked anyway." You're grinning ear to ear as you turn the silver doorknob and step in. It's very shiny. Maybe you should steal it when you're done here. You see the inside of the minstrel's house. It's big for a commoner's house. There must be four different rooms here, every one with carved furniture and a wooden floor. He must've meant to start a big family. He shouldn't have insulted you on the road, then. You close the door behind you, latch it shut, and take a short stroll around. That's a bedroom, a common room, and, aha! A kitchen! There she is, with a belly of six months and knitting some foolish knickknack or another. She looks much better than the average commoner's wife. (Rolled a 9 on d10) Her eyes really are lovely. They're staring at you and she looks a little confused. Not scared though. That's about to change.

You revenge is finally here.

>Show her Gilberd's rotten head for a starter
>Use the lute to get close, then knock her in the head
>Get close, then tackle and muffle her mouth with a rag
>Pull out your rusty shortsword and get to bloody work
>Don't move too fast, talk and get her to let her guard down

>>5077520
>Don't move too fast, talk and get her to let her guard down

I want to try our hand at seducing her before showing her his head. It'll make this revenge all the sweeter if we succeed.

>>5077520
>Don't move too fast, talk and get her to let her guard down

>>5077524
If seduction doesn't work of course there's always the second option

>>5077513
>Spills his spaghetti when in social situations
>Gets angry very easily and aggressive over slight annoyances, seems to hate most/any kind of social interaction
Bros I think our character has high functioning autism

>>5077532
*low functioning not high functioning

>>5077524
>>5077532
You're only going to get one shot at this so you need to be careful. You also don't want to rush things when you could savour them. You smile for starters.

What's your strategy?

>Attempt to seduce (success would be extremely difficult but distracting her somewhat easy so you would get two rolls for this)
>Get her to put her guard down
>Tell her the truth, slowly, gently
>Ask her where the boy is at

>>5077520

Play the nice guy, bring out sword when its advantageous. Both swords.

>>5077542
>Get her to put her guard down
If we brought her guard down really low then
>Attempt to seduce

>>5077549
+1

>>5077542
>Get her to put her guard down

Excuse the previous post I was sitting on it a minute. In general I want the kids out of the picture in a locked room. That way we can do whatever with her and they cant make a fuss, After we could burn the place and no one will know exactly what went on.

We certainly dont need her consent, and if we really want to fuck her husband up from beyond the grave, I see no better path than fucking his wife and then putting his family to the blade.

>>5077549
>>5077550
>>5077553
You're going to try to let her guard down. "Excuse me m'lady, but are you doing well tonight?"

She looks at you and the confusion in her eyes grows.

>roll 12 or higher on 1d20 to get her guard down

You having a sword makes this harder but the lute balances out. Unless you fail this massively she won't immediately panic. It will just be harder to make any more social attempts.

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>5077560
Dice gods be with me

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>5077560
Gods bless this roll!

>>5077562
Fuck

>>5077553
>I see no better path than fucking his wife and then putting his family to the blade.

I do. Kill off his bloodline, and put a bun in the oven. Nothing would be sweeter than making the love of his life take care of his killer's baby.

>>5077563
This is the only roll I see anyone else see another roll?

>>5077563
Why couldn't it be me? WHY COULDNT IT BE ME?

>>5077563
God, please take this roll. I beg the Dark Lords.

>>5077562
"I-I was but... is that a sword of some kind? And isn't that my husband's lute? Who are you? Why are you here?" She starts to put away the knitting needles and looks to another room. You look where she was for a second and then look back. There was a small wooden toy in there. She wouldn't have looked if there wasn't anyone to worry about. You think she might be about to panic but you aren't sure. Sometimes you have a hard time judging people.

If you're going to act you need to do it now.

>Take Gilberd's rotten head out of the bag.
>Thump her upside the head with the lute.
>Tackle her and muffle her mouth with a rag.
>Threaten her quiet with the rusty shortsword.
>Keep talking, maybe you can salvage the situation.

>>5077563
The ignoble gods are cruel.

>>5077562
Welp, this is why the invented rope.

>>5077566
My man, you are small time. We need either an evil scheming bitch who can match us, or an innocent caring woman with no personality flaws and a huge set of noble connections. There is no in-between.

>>5077577
>Keep talking, maybe you can salvage the situation.

You're making me sad QM.

>>5077577
Fuck it we tried
>Threaten her quiet with the rusty shortsword.

>>5077584
Actually forget that we still have a chance changing my vote to
>Keep talking, maybe you can salvage the situation.

>>5077579
>implying we keep the bitch

Hell no, I'm not planning on keeping the bitch, I say we kill off the minstrel's bloodline and force her to have our baby before we fuck off.

>>5077577
>Keep talking, maybe you can salvage the situation.


Stick to the story. Can always murderrape her later

what if we posed as someone informing of the minstril's tragic, unavoidable death, then break out the rope while she's busy crying into her hands?

>>5077587
I dont give a single shit about the minstrels whore. If there is a vote to slit her throat after we are done pumping her with our seed ill support it.

>>5077590
+1 but we have to actually have her cry into our hands first

>>5077583
>>5077586
>>5077588
You go for the fireball option.

"Are you Gilberd's wife? I found this lute on the road here."

She stares at you for a second.

>roll 14 or higher on 1d20

Seducing her will be even more difficult now.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>5077593
Fucking bullshit

>>5077595
you've got to be kidding me

>>5077595
Wow we realy cannot social-roll can we? Fuck.

Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>5077593
>>5077598
OP I'm not blaming you btw but wow our luck has just been dogshit almost this entire session kek

>>5077598
>>5077600
>>5077602
I honestly hate our speech rolls. Even when we get a nat 20, the QM decides to cuck us out of it.

>>5077600
I'm telling you guys
>>5077532
>>5077533

>>5077595
"I... I don't know who you are and what you're here for. If it's important, you can talk to the village elders. I-I-I need to go!" She starts walking fast to try and get around you. Stupid bitch. If she was scared for her life, why wouldn't she run? Is she scared of hurting your feelings? Damn it. Even you can tell she's about two seconds from trying to sprint. There go your hopes of seducing her the hard way.

How do you want to make the takedown?

>Lute to the head
>Rag to the mouth
>Sword to the neck
>Gilberd's rotting head

>>5077606
"God damn it bitch"
>Lute to the head

>>5077606
>Rag to the mouth

>>5077606
>Lute to the head

Find the kid after.

>>5077603
I'm not trying to cuck you out of anything. The nat 20 got you perfect directions to a specific house in a very large part of the kingdom, when you didn't even have a name to ask with. It would've taken much longer to figure out where the house was and might have caused rumors if you failed. Getting into the house was easy but talking the minstrel's six-month pregnant wife down was difficult. Not impossible, the rolls have just been low.

>>5077613
He's salty about >>5077583
pay it no heed.

>>5077607
>>5077611
"God damn it bitch." She turns to look at you, the same second you pull the lute off of your shoulders and swing it straight into her head!

>Her Dodge is halved from the surprise attack, from 6 to 3. You need to roll a 3 or higher to strike.

>roll 1d20+1 to hit!
>roll 1d3 for damage!

That would be a 1d3-1 because the lute is an improvised weapon but your combat skills make up for it. Pregnant women usually aren't very dangerous in combat.

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>5077617
I swear to God...

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>5077617

>>5077617
>Pregnant women
So much for putting a bun in the oven. What's our plan now, abduction, murder, or rape for the giggles?

>>5077621
c-section her baby, since it's 6 months old it might have a chance at living so we can keep it as a way to get people to give us food/train as a slave/apprentice, or we could break it's neck right in front of her since we are an absolute asshole.

>>5077621
Rape, showing he husband's head, and giving her an abortion the d fashion way.

Rolled 5 (1d6)

>>5077619
>>5077620
>Gilberd's wife is hit for 1 damage!
>Gilberd's wife has 2/3 HP left!

You swing the lute and knock her in the back of the head but the stupid bitch ducks at the very last second! "Agh! Why are you doing this?" Instead of going unconscious on the floor she stumbles back and still has her wits about her. You use the time to step in front of the doorway so she'll have to get past you.

She has enough time to react!

She-

>1: Curl into a fetal position
>2: Backs into a corner!
>3: Tries to run past you!
>4: Attempts a cheap shot!
>5: Grabs a knife and fights!
>6: Cries for help!

No way to predict how she reacts here.

Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>5077627
-grabs a knife from a table and charges at you! You aren't caught off-guard, you were watching her, but still, you're surprised! Looks like you misplaced Gilberd's wife for a coward. Now you have a fight on your hands.

She's swinging at you to try and beat your Dodge of 12. She has zero combat skill and is six months pregnant so she does it without any bonuses.

>roll 1d6 to see if buckler triggers on a hit, on 6 it does

>>5077627
>She's fighting us
"Good, I like it when they struggle"

Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>5077629
She strikes at you with the knife, bypassing your Dodge. If you can't block you'll have a new scar.

Rolled 6 (1d6)

>>5077629

>>5077629
I ain't rolling, but you really should rename this to Failed Brigand Quest, cause that really is what it feels like here.

Rolled 6 (1d6)

>>5077629
"Ha, you're braver then you're husband was! A shame it won't matter in the end

I saw that second 6, don't you try to deny it.

>>5077637
Nevermind, 4chan is just fucking with me.

>>5077639
Yeah I was worried I caught a shadowban or something kek

>>5077627
>>5077629
>>5077633
>>5077634
>>5077637
>Gilberd's wife strikes you with a knife!
>You block with your splintery buckler!
>You block with your splintery buckler, twice!
>+1 bonus XP, 6/10 XP to Level 2

She goes for a vicious cut and surprises you so much you almost let her get away with it. Little does she know, you were trained and your arm moves on its own, blocking her knife attack with ease. She lunges like a viper and you laugh, swinging the buckler to deflect and dent the knife blade at the same time. Minstrel's wife looks on in horror as you lick your teeth. "Good, I like it when they struggle."

You swing the lute again!

>Gilberd's wife is no longer surprised and has a Dodge of 6

>roll 1d20+1 to hit!
>roll 1d3 for damage!

>>5077642
>Throw the head at her

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>5077642
Watch as I crit fail

Rolled 4 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>5077642
"You put up a better fight than your husband ever could. Guess he was the woman in this relationship."

Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>5077642
I swear to god 4chan is trolling me now

>>5077644
I personally want to save it for when she comes to and the first thing she sees is her husbands head infront of her on the ground and we voice him saying "My wife I love you so much come give me a kiss".
Anyways I'm not rolling because I have failed every roll I made so far and don't trust myself not to fail again kek

Rolled 1 (1d3)

>>5077642
Thank the Dark Gods that I wanted to write some banter. 7 is a hit, rolling for damage.

>>5077649
Roll for damage then, can't fail at that

>>5077650
We're having some serious issues trying to kill a pregnant housewife, goddamn.

>>5077649
>decapitated smooches
this is acceptable

>>5077651
I rolled a one last time we rolled for damage which is basically a fail so I'm hoping if someone else rolls they can get higher the-
>>5077650
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>5077652
It wasn't a joke when I posted >>5077636 lad

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>5077645
>>5077650
>Gilberd's wife has been hit for 1 damage!
>Gilberd's wife has 1/3 HP left!
>The ignoble gods are laughing!

You swing the lute the opposite side and hit again, but she ducks at the last second, again! There's going to be a black eye on her face if she survives this. She probably won't. Then again she doesn't look very impressed by the damage you're doing so far.

Fuck, you need a comeback. Hmm... Aha! "Ha, you're braver than your husband was! A shame it won't matter in the end."

She grits her teeth and spits on the floor. That's a tooth. Oh boy. "You must've killed him... my beloved... You monster!"

You laugh. "You put up a better fight than your husband ever could. Guess he was the woman in this relationship."

Her face is angrier than a harpy's and she lunges to kill! Damn it all, this is a very resilient woman!

>roll 1d6 to block (if she hits)

Rolled 2 (1d6)

>>5077659
knock on wood

>>5077659
>Gilberd's wife strikes at you but misses!
>The ignoble gods are rolling on the floor!

You have the advantage! This is it! Unless you want to drop the lute and use a different weapon, but... you aren't sure if the head would work and the rusty shortsword is messy.

>roll 1d20+1 to hit!
>roll 1d3 for damage! (Doesn't matter but it's a reason to roll)

>>5077659
At the rate the dark gods seem to be failing us, maybe we should become a paladin of the light

Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>5077665
Yolo

Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>5077667
>>5077665
While the iron is hot

>>5077667
LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>5077667
If this doesn't knock her out I swear I will turn this quest into a NobleBright one.

Goid shit bois, it only took five attempts but we got there in the end.

>>5077673
She has 1 health left and we did 2 damage we're good

>>5077676
Don't josh me here, I'm deadly serious.

>>5077677
>Gilberd's wife has 1/3 HP left!
>Rolled 2 (1d3)

>>5077667
>CRITICAL HIT!
>Gilberd's wife is hit for 4 damage!
>Gilberd's wife has -3/4 HP left!
>+1 XP, 7/10 XP to Level 2!

You are so furious at your failings. So furious at the way that minstrel on the road mocked you, so furious at the time you spent walking on the road, so furious at how difficult it's been for you to defeat a pregnant housewife. You let the fury guide your lute and you knock her upside the head with a loud THUMP! She falls on the ground. Limp and unconscious.

Seriously, she isn't moving a muscle. The door is locked and there's no evidence of anyone coming to help. You don't know how long she'll be knocked out but you think you hit her hard enough it'll be at least half an hour.

What do you want to do first?

>Stuff a rag in her mouth and tie her hands
>Check the rest of the house for anyone else
>Attempt to commit an amateur cesarean section

>>5077680
Tie up, underwear gag, the works. Lock and bar the entrance. Search and destroy any stray 5-year-olds. In that order.

>>5077680
>tie her hands, but don't stick a rag on her mouth
>look for her son, but don't kill him just restrain him

>>5077680
>Check the rest of the house for anyone else
Then
>Stuff a rag in their mouths and tie their hands

Tie the kid up in a chair, have him face the bed we'll be banging his mother on. Maybe we'll have the kid hold his father's head while we're at it.

>>5077680
>>5077683
Oh and make sure the blinds are closed and the door is locked I forgot to mention that

>>5077681
+1 the panty gag

>>5077687
I can't read. The door is locked, but we can still bar it. With a fireplace poker or furniture if necessary

>>5077699
Anon...

>>5077681
>>5077683
>>5077685
>>5077687
You think fast. If she doesn't have a rag in her mouth she could scream for help and if she doesn't have her hands tied she could get the knife and stab you. You don't know what to do first but you move without thinking about it. Now there's a rag in her mouth and her hands are tied by a torn blanket from their bedroom. There's nobody nearby but you make sure the curtains on the windows (these people were rich by commoner standards) are pulled shut. Next you search the inside of the house, looking for the boy.

You spot him, nice and asleep in a bed. Can't be any older than 4. You knock him in the back of the head with the lute, so he doesn't shout and then tie his hands and gag him like his mother. You did it gentle so you don't think that would kill him. You hope. You don't really care but it would be nice not to have a plan go bad for once. You set them both in the common room and contemplate your revenge. WAIT. The door... You move a dresser (RICH) in front of the door. Worst case scenario you can escape through a window.

NOW you contemplate your revenge.

How do you take it? The more despicable, the more scumbag XP you'll get. If you go overboard or take too much time, there's a chance you could get caught.

I'm going to take care of something IRL but I'll be back in 15-20 minutes.

>>5077703
Wake her up and do what I said at >>5077649 Then wake up her kid and have them see each other. Then start removing the womans clothing

Ooh should we try to convince the kid to kill his mother as the grand finale?

>>5077708
Good start
>>5077710
I am more partial to to ye-olde-coat-hanger. Or forcing the kid to go sloppy seconds on his mother after we've had a go

>>5077703
Wake them both up and present the head, make the wife as you torture the boy, cut of his tongue and stab him in the eyes before slitting his throat and letting him bleed to death and move on to her, destroy her clothing and show her her husband's head before going for a cesarean section and before she dies mention your plans to visit some other villagers

>>5077703
Tie the kid up in a chair, have him face the bed we'll be banging his mother on. Have the kid hold his father's head while the mother wakes up, and impersonate the minstrel saying we voice him saying "My wife I love you so much come give me a kiss". Then laught, punch the bitch in the gut, and begin the rape in earnest. After the first round, we'll castrate the kid while the mother watches, then go in for a couple more rounds. Loot their shit and have the house burn down after. We'll have dinner at the Brothers' house.

>>5077711
more specifically, I think we should leave the wife alive to live with the horrendous shit we're about to do to her

>>5077711
I'm willing to have the kid get sloppy seconds before we castrate him in front of his mother.

>>5077712
>>5077713
Remember if we go overboard we risk drawing attention to ourselves

>>5077714
I generally agree, and I aim to put a baby in her as a constant reminder.

>>5077714
Interesting, should we just leave her in the village or force her to come with us.

>>5077719
Eh. I figure we might as well enjoy ourselves while we have the time.

>>5077722
pros & cons:
If we force her to come with us we can personally guarantee she won't kill herself, and possibly instill some stockholm syndrome. But, we would be dragging a woman around and that could be cumbersome.

>>5077706
The thing he's taking care of is calling the FBI on this thread kek
I gross myself out saying the shit what we're going to do but if we're playing an evil PC I want it to be the most revolting, vile, and cruel PC to ever exist

>>5077725
It can also be used as a tool to get food and money.
"Excuse me sir, me and my wife, we were brutally beaten and robbed of everything we have, as you can see from her bruised and broken body. Will you spare us some coin, and maybe some food?

>>5077727
You really want to be the most revolting, vile, and cruel? Diddle the child in front of the mother, and make her clean up our mess. That's the most fucked up thing I could think of lad.

My vote, unless some mentions something else engaging or other good points:
>Do a reunion with corpse head and wife
>give the head to the kid and force him to watch us strip & fuck his mother
>fuck his mother
>make him fuck his mother
>make the kid a steer
>coat hanger the bitch
>kill both kids
>leave the wife contemplate this on the tree of woe.

>>5077733
...ok maybe there are still some lines that I'm not willing to cross while RPing kek

>>5077730
If you guys want to bring her with us to a city to scam people we can, but I think we'd probably be better off doing what we have been doing.

Honestly, I'm wondering how QM can write this while still having this thread on a blueboard

>>5077734
My vote
My vote, unless some mentions something else engaging or other good points:
>Do a reunion with corpse head and wife
>give the head to the kid and force him to watch us strip & fuck his mother
>fuck his mother
>make him fuck his mother
>make the kid a steer
>punch the bitch's stomach hard a couple times
>leave the wife and son to contemplate this on the tree of woe.

>>5077737
I agree, that's why I'm not voting for it. Too fucked up for my tastes.

>>5077727
Nah, I had to take a shower. Also, I have work tomorrow so updates will be scarcer for most of the day. I work on every day but tuesdays and fridays, actually.
Yeah I won't go into the finer details on sex/extreme torture but I won't say you can't. The premise of the quest is that the PC is the opposite of a Paladin, who are (ideally) good, noble, and selfless in everything they do. His moral compass is broken and there's glass spilling on the floor. You all voted for the only option that doesn't have a supernatural or corrupting force guiding them. The PC is just an asshole.

A Fallen Paladin would slay them quickly and painlessly.
A Hell Knight would take their souls to feed his contract.
A Death Knight would kill them and defile their corpses.
A Plague Knight would infect them with unholy sickness.
You're torturing them for no reason. For you, that's its own reward.

>>5077742
>pastebin

>>5077734
+1

I'll give you a few more minutes to think and then take the general average of everything that's been suggested unless one has a large majority vote. You aren't at more risk for being caught for going overboard, but for taking more time to go overboard.

>>5077747
Also yeah, that too, in theory but I heard they've been deleting pastebins and any time I spend writing guro-tier shit is time I'm not spending writing the quest.

>>5077734
Punching is faster and more immediate than coat-hangering the bitch.

>>5077749
I still want to have lunch with those people we met earlier so as long as we make sure she doesn't escape for a long while I'm fine with keeping her alive

File: 1297199206149.png (55 KB, 838x983)

55 KB PNG

>>5077744
This thread has been the incarnation of this meme, petty revenge is most certainly a reason.

>>5077743
>>5077753
I'll swap my vote to this. If we actually try a caesarean section on this woman she's just gonna die from blood-loss.

It looks like you've decided how you want to handle this. Your revenge is settled then but I'm going to need TWO quick 1d12s for meme value because it was probably going to come up at some point.

>>5077755
There's nothing preventing you from getting dinner afterward. Unless you're extremely unlucky but you can still run in the worst case scenario.

>>5077756
Very true. Have you at any point not been seething?

Rolled 9 (1d12)

>>5077764

>>5077764
I'm more worried about her following us to those two guys houses as we're eating there.

Rolled 2 (1d12)

>>5077764

>>5077767
GOD DAMN IT I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE ROLLED AGAIN

>>5077765
>>5077767
9 inches by 2 centimeters. Bizarre.

Rolled 4 (1d12)

>>5077764
Rolling for da real girth

Ghostbin and 0bin are alternatives to pastebin that don't delete erotic content. Just wanted to let you know..

>>5077734
>>5077743
>>5077748
>>5077753
>>5077763
Not once does it occur to you that what you're about to do is wrong.

>https://ghostbin.com/EWnWd

Finally, your revenge is complete. That shows that minstrel to make fun of your clothes. Now you feel stronger, fiercer, somehow, like you can take on the entire world!

>+8 bonus scumbag XP, 15/10 XP to Level 2!
>You've reached Level 2!

>roll 1d10 for extra HP

>choose a stat boost

>+1 Dodge
>+1 Toughness
>+1 Combat Skill

>You've mastered a dirty trick to use in combat instead of a regular attack. This happens every time you reach the next Level. It's second nature to one of your mind. Choose one: Ear Rip, Finger Snap, Eye Gouge, Gut Shot, Spine Snap, Ankle Stomp, Crotch Grab, Joint Break, Knee Kick, Leg Sweep, Shoulder Throw, Weapon Steal, Bite, Taunt, Spit, Pocket Sand

>choose a new perk:

>You've mastered yourself further and can choose a bonus stat boost.
>You've mastered an extra dirty trick and can choose a bonus one from the list.
>You've learned the rudiments of a new thief's skill. Choose one to get +2 bonus to: Sneaking, Lockpicking, Pickpocketing, Torturing, Deception, Intimidation, Cooking, Woodcraft, Forging
>You've corrupted your soul even further. For now this does nothing, even reducing your scumbag XP gains but if you keep feeding it, something horrible will happen.

Rolled 9 (1d10)

>>5077804
Better make the heath upgrade Bo3.
>+1 Combat Skill
>Taunt
>Deception or Intimidation

>>5077804
>+1 Combat skill
>bite
>Deception

Rolled 3 (1d10)

>>5077804
>+1 Dodge
>Crotch Grab
there will be female targets for this
>+2 Sneaking

>>5077810
Changing dirty trick to
>Taunt or Crotch Grab
And if you can find another anon willing to support the soul corruption, I will support it to break any tie.

>>5077821
I would vote for corruption, but only want it it comes with fucking superpowers, like a hell/death knight lite.
By the way it's phrased, it sounds more like supercancer or syphilis.

>>5077821
>>5077829
It isn't a disease and the end result isn't like any other type of Antipaladin can get. I'll tell you that much. If it's worth as much as investing in the other perks is debatable. None are useless.

I'm going to go to sleep. I'll update when I can but like I said earlier, I've got work.

>>5077829
If you want to take a gander, I will as well. I do agree with ya though, it does sound like something horrible will happen to us instead of someone else.

>>5077839
When do you think you will archive the thread OP?

>>5077850
Archiving won't be necessary for a good long while

>>5077804
>+1 Toughness
Pocket Sand
>You've corrupted your soul even further.

>>5077838
>>5077843
aight, I (>>5077817) will change to
>+1 Dodge
>Crotch Grab
>+Corruption
Okay, now let's see how long can this quest survive, lmao.

Mobilefag here, btw.