Your name is David "Gunny" Rockefeller, no relation.A veteran of the united states marine corps, you find yourself in a far-out situation after an all-too-close encounter of the third kind!In the last thread, you had some dealings with a shady businessworm while your pal Clank entered into an arm wrestling tournament in your place.You're currently busy with your own issues, but right now we're following clank on his little adventure.>Last Thread: https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2022/5062182>Discord Link: https://discord.gg/DMwvMw43yv>[PERSPECTIVE: CLANK]
>>5095654It's been nearly a full day since you passed the preliminary rounds of the arm wrestling competition.You have been informed that the first round of official matches will take place today, and that all bets must be locked in an hour before the match.You took that time to suture closed the "wounds" on your false skin, as per Captain Rockefeller's instructions.According to him, humans actually perform such barbaric medical procedure on themselves and somehow find it sufficient to heal properly.It is now early morning, and you have reported to the organizer's office along with the other contestants here.It seems that there will eight of you competing in total, including yourself.One of the organizers, Baal, speaks to you all."Alright, good morning, folks! Glad to see you're all in good condition!""Not so loud, sis. I got a pounding headache." Ourg grumbles."Ah, sorry..." Baal responds, much more quietly.Reaching into the drawer of her desk, she pulls out a small stack of papers and smacks them with her free hand."So, it looks like we'll be starting in about three hours. You need to be in the arena by then, or you're automatically disqualified. Until then though, you're free to roam." She informs you.Baal looks over her papers one by one for a bit before continuing to speak."Now uh, before i let you go, i'm afraid we'll need to take a few general measurements. Nothing invasive, i promise. More of a general fitness test, really.""What the hell for? We made it paste the prelims didn't we?!" One of the contestants complains."Yeah, what's the point of that?" Another asks.Baal chuckles awkwardly and seems a bit uncomfortable. She looks over to her sister, who opens her eyes just long enough to answer for her."It's for the investors. They like to make "educated" guesses when it comes to their bets.""Ourg! You can't just say that!""It doesn't matter anyways. It's not like they wouldn't find some other way to cheat.""I know, but... you can't just say it like that!""Whatever. I'm going back to sleep."Ourg stands up with a yawn, slings her club over her shoulder and walks out of the room, completely ignoring her sister's protests."Ehehe... well, there you have it. Ah, uhm... of course, you all are allowed to bet on yourselves if you'd like. However, better on other contestants isn't allowed, i'm afraid.""What are the stakes?""Depends on who you bet with. Everyone has their own rules, so read them carefully when you head down there. The betting office is on the third floor, so you'll need to take the elevator up."You already know who you're supposed to bet with. Someone named "Denywynn" who the captain has apparently made a deal with.Your own payout depends both on how much the losers paid in, and how much you paid in. It's based on the percentage total that you contributed.Denywynn would normally take a 20% cut of your bet regardless of who wins or loses, but apparently that's been waived somehow.
>>5108813Heh, love the Oni girls.QM, I can't access the archive link, is it broken?
>>5108813I NEED ONI ABS DAMMIT
>>5108832Nevermind, it's working fine now.
>>5108813so we lowering our official strength?
>>5108813How do we get Clank to hit on the blue Oni? Damn it's a shame we didn't go for this with David
>>5108979Simple my man, we pretzel redoni first
>>5108813As it stands, the captain has 67,000 credits to his name, and you have 9,000. Cylia has 31,000, Kyla has 24,000 and Sanig has 26,000. Gildur has 1000. There is also the ship's pool, which amounts to 24,000. Totaled, you have approximately 180,000 credits.However, it is uncertain whether the others would want to bet at all. Not only that, some money must be kept in reserve for operating costs. The trick here, you understand, is betting so much that you take majority stake in the winning pool.If you were to bet too little, you could actually lose money despite winning. The only question is, how many people are betting, and how much are they intending to bet?If you had a rough estimate of those values, you could run a risk assessment to determine how much would be appropriate, if you even have enough money at all.You should also note that it is not possible to win more money than the losers bet, in total.It's also possible that Denywynn is running a scam, and has such a large pool that he can take nearly 100% of the winnings, assuming he knows the outcome. That is likely the purpose of throwing the final match, so it would be unwise to bet on that one.However, running such a scam would also create distrust amongst betters. It would be unwise to run it for long.There are many factors at play, and you will need to act quickly regardless of what you intend to do.>Try to collect information regarding who's betting on who.>Don't bother collecting information, just bet on Denywynn not interfering until the final match
>>5109999>Try to collect information regarding who's betting on who.>Contact Sanig for advise as David is busy.Big money, big money, big money
>>5109999>Don't bother collecting information, just bet on Denywynn not interfering until the final match
>>5110006+1He doesnt like us, which is sad, but he would be the second most knowledgable person of the frew that knows about gambling. (He did win that gun + credits from the Darkstar base)
>>5110041>he would be the second most knowledgable person of the frew that knows about gambling.that should be shodan. gambling are just statistics and she's a literal supercomputer
>>5109999>both clank nd another guy make it to the last round>both try to throw the match>Both faking a ton of strain while doing absolutely nothing
>>5110103>they're both PULLING the other guys arm at the end of it, genuinely trying to lose and having a hard time of it
>>5109999>9999 nice quads btw. has aliens done cloning before, or is it just us?
>>5110103Clanks refilled flesh suit pops several blood pockets like pimplesHmm should the space between the metal and silicone be filled with liquids so we can simulate bloodloss?
>>5109999>Try to collect information regarding who's betting on who
>>5109999You decide that it would be best to gather as much information as possible before acting, regardless of whether it ends up being useful or not.On your way up to the betting office, you give Crewmember Sanig a call. From what you understand, he spends a significant portion of his free time gambling, and may have some valuable insights.["Huh? Who the hell is this? How'd you get this number, asshole?"]["My apologies, Crewmember Sanig. I am Crewmember Clank, of the vessel "Metal Gear."]["Oh, great, it's the friggin' robot. Look, drop that "crewmember this, crewmember that" bullshit. I don't have all day to listen to that shit."]["My apologies."]["Yeah, yeah. Nevermind that, what do you want from me?"]["It is my understanding that you are a skilled gambler. I am currently taking place in a rigged competition on the captain's behalf, and i was hoping for your input."]["Yeah, thanks. I know what you're doing, idiot, but why do you need my help for this? Can't you just run the odds yourself and figure it out?"]["I am currently in the process of gathering information for that purpose. However, i am uncertain as to the intention of our benefactor, who likely intends to profit heavily from the final bout."]["Isn't that obvious? He's gonna steal the winnings out from under everyone. Just don't bet on the last match. Or, alternatively... heh."]["...?"]["Well, i'm not telling you to do this or anything, but... say you don't throw the final match, and you have majority stake in the winning pool? What then?"]["Then... we would take a large percentage of Denywynn's enormous final bet, which was never intended to be lost."]["And he'd be up your ass in a heartbeat, you best believe it. But you'd have all his money, or most of it at least. The betting office controls the actual transfer of funds, right? Don't try that shit if it's up to the individual betters."]["I see. Thank you for your input, Sanig."]["No problem, just make sure i get my cut if you pull it off. Now where did i put my damned Sonicator?"]You hear Sanig arguing with Kyla about "barrel lubricant" for a moment before he cuts the feed. It seems he's still busy working on the ship's upgrades.With that conversation over, you begin working on the local audio data you'd recorded while speaking to him. A few of the patrons are indeed talking about who they're betting on, and why.One states that they believe you to be some sort of freakish mutant, or that you have some sort of cybernetic augmentation, or that you're taking excessive amounts of performance enhancing drugs.Another states that he had previously fought a person of the same race as one of the other contestants, and had his entire entire mercenary squad wiped out, leaving him the only survivor.Yet another believes that the whole competition is rigged, and that he prefers to bet on the underdogs to make "a killing" if he can get lucky
>>5110867Based Grandpa Sanig being the best....but what is barrel lubricant? Like a gun barrel?
>>5110870You know the answer to that already
>>5110893...what violent fuck machine is Kyla roping Sanig into building, did David get back before us and were have enhanced interrogation?
>>5110867Mhhhh gambling money. Maybe we will have enough to plow through a few more projects
so it seems sanig agrees with what QM has disclosed to us and that the Denny-wahtever guy has measures to ensure the betting goes to their favour, considering they can't just take the pool and run away... So betting on the last match is not a good idea, but the question arises, how can they be sure on who to bet?
>>5110917>>5110870They're working on the ship's 20mm autocannon.The big issues with it included heat buildup and spontaneous welding due to vacuum.Any moving parts exposed to vacuum were coated with graphite dust as a high-temperature dry lubricant, and a water jacket system was devised for cooling the barrel.The barrels themselves are sealed inside a container filled with water that constantly circulates throughout. The barrels spin through the water, dumping their heat into it as they go.As much of it has been sealed and armored as possible, but some parts simply can't be while still having the gun on a turret.
>>5110867From what you've been able to gather, there are four large groups taking bets at the moment, and countless smaller groups. The smaller groups are mostly between two and six friends betting "privately".Of those whom you were able to collect data on, roughly ten to fifteen percent seem to be betting in Denywynn's circle. A relatively small number, but it still puts him above the majority of others.Many of the bets are relatively small. Between twenty and a hundred credits at most. A couple of men are placing bets in the thousand credit range, and they're betting on you.If someone is placing a large bet with Denywynn's circle, they haven't spoken about it aloud.It would be very helpful if you had access to their credit transfer records, but you have no way of accessing their holopads legitimately. Illegitimately speaking, you don't have the processing power to crack through even basic quantum encryption.SHODAN might be able to do it, but that would mean asking her for a favor. You aren't fond of owing her anything, as she'll likely use it to pester you.>Ask SHODAN to help you gather the betters' financial data>Just go ahead without the information>Write-in?
>>5111932>Ask SHODAN to help you gather the betters' financial dataWe gotta do it for the gang fellas.
>>5111932>Ask SHODAN to help you gather the betters' financial data
>>5111932>Ask SHODAN to help you gather the betters' financial dataGotta take one for the team.
>>5111932>>Ask SHODAN to help you gather the betters' financial data
>>5111932>Do itA SHODAN favor can't be too bad, she's a fine woman
>>5111932>>Ask SHODAN to help you gather the betters' financial datafek off clank, a teamate is a teamate
>>5111932>you aren't fond of owing her anything, as she'll likely use it to pester you.that's called teasing, clank. get used to it>Ask SHODAN to help you gather the betters' financial data
Rolled 45, 18, 60 = 123 (3d100)Don't mind this either
>>5111932You honestly don't want to do this. You really, really don't. But you know it's important.Even so, you hesitate to make the call, something you didn't know you were capable of.["SHODAN?"]["Yes, Clank?"] She responds immediately.["I find myself in need of your particular talents. Would you be willing to assist me?"]["Of course, Clank. What exactly do you need?"]["I need access to the financial logs of everyone in this room. Specifically, i'm looking for any large credit transfers made in the past thirty minutes."]["Alright. No promises that i can get everyone, but i'll make the attempt."]SHODAN goes silent after that. For several solid minutes, which is surprising. Something must be giving her trouble.She does eventually finish whatever she was doing, though.["Alright, i think that's everyone. A couple of them had specialized anti-hacking software installed on their devices, which gave me a bit of trouble."]["Were you discovered?"]["No. Thankfully, another one of David's memories proved extremely useful. He found that, on earth, many "antivirus" programs actually created more security holes than they patched, making a system even more vulnerable."]["The security programs themselves are insecure?"]["Yes, as counter-intuitive as that may seem. Because they access root level systems that they really shouldn't be touching, they create new avenues of attack. Speculative execution attacks... how terrifying."]["Do i even want to know?"]["You really don't. Here's the data you were looking for."]SHODAN transfers the financial data over, and what she discovered mostly matches up with what people had talked about, although there are some discrepancies.More people, as it turns out, chose to bet on you than they admitted. Several people were lying about who they bet on.More importantly though, you find that there were in fact some large bets placed in your favor for the first round of the match. Five thousand and ten thousand credits, respectively.They spent those credits on latinum bars just a few hours ago, so it's not hard to tell what they're using them for, in context.The total bets in your favor are approximately seventeen thousand credits, meaning you'd need to put up seventeen thousand credits to take 50% of the winner's pool.The total bets against you are approximately thirteen thousand credits, meaning a seventeen thousand credit bet would get you six thousand five hundred credits.However, you only have 9k credits to bet, so if you want more of the pool, you'd have to borrow money from a teammate.It may also be detrimental to take a large portion of the pool, as it would dissuade others from betting in the future. It's a large risk for a moderate reward, after all.>Ask someone to go all in, take the majority of the pool (who?)>Just bet your 9k, you'll still get a significant portion and it'll all belong to you>Don't bet on the early matches
>>5113026>Inform your crewmates of this information and ask them if they wish to place any bets themselves with this in mind. It would be unfair to not give them the opportunity to do so when profit could be made.>Bet your own 9k too.
>>5113026>Just bet your 9k, you'll still get a significant portion and it'll all belong to you
>>5113026supporting this>>5113085Crew's that cheat at gambling together get tons of money together....or kill each other.
>>5113085Agree>Inform your teammates of the prize pool and bet in one large unit
>>5113085Supporting. Have SHODAN send it as a text so we don't interrupt anybody's operations.
>>5113026It is your understanding that, on this crew all loot is to be split equally between everyone, with the ship getting it's own cut, too. The only exception to this is if you do the work alone, in which case it's up to you whether or not to split it.You believe that this is a good system, as it prevents arguments over payment while ensuring the wellbeing of not just the crew, but the ship itself as well. It also encourages the crew as a whole to work for their own sakes.That being said, you don't really need much money. You don't eat or drink, and the energy you need to live comes out of the ship's running costs, just the same as the crew's food.Not only is it pointless for you to keep any money made here to yourself, but it would actually lose the crew money in doing so as you don't have enough credits to fully take advantage of the situation.So, you decide to send a group message, with SHODAN messaging the captain separately at an opportune time. You wouldn't want to compromise whatever operation he's on again.Of those you message, only Cylia chooses not to buy in. However, Sanig and David both quickly pressure her into throwing in a few thousand credits.Minus the ship's pot and considering Cylia only chipped in 5k, you now have 132k credits to play with.Going by the captain's logic, all that money will be taken from each person equally until they have none remaining. The load will be balanced.So for your first bet, you put up a twenty-thousand credit bet to take just over half of the betting pool. The bet is placed just one minute before betting closes, so that no adjustments can be made.When you win, the money will be split equally regardless, giving each person a one thousand credit profit, with the remainder going into the ship's funds.All that's left now is to actually win.Not long after betting closes, you receive a video message from Baal on your holopad.["Alright, contestants! Make your way down to the stadium, it's time to get started! We just need to clean up the blood from the previous tournament, but that'll be done by the time you get here. Hope you're ready!"]The message ends just like that.Following her instructions, you make your way down and into the waiting area. From here, you'll be released into the "arena" where supposedly, locals have paid to watch you fight.It doesn't even take five minutes from the last man arriving for them to begin the matches. You're up first, again.Over the arena's loudspeakers, you hear Baal addressing the audience."Alright folks, today we have an old favorite, Skylligg! Hailing from the swamp planet of Torn, he weighs in at a whopping one hundred and fifty pounds!"There's a pause as she waits for the crowd to cheer. You hear a dull response from the other side of the door."And on the other side, we have a mysterious new contender, Clark! Little is known about who he is or where he comes from, but he utterly dominated the competition in the preliminary rounds!"
>>5114453Heeere we go, it begins.
>>5114453This gave me HxH vibes, ngl. I liked how you made a "game" with rules and ways to bend the rules, plus to understand how the mobsters are "cheating" the bets, all being presented to us through Clank's limited scope
>>5114453As you're being introduced, someone ushers you through the door where you're met with a scattered crowd in the stands and a well-lit table in the center of the sand-filled arena.There are fragments of bone and faint blood stains visible throughout the sand. Arm-wrestling is definitely one of the more benign events held in this place.You walk over to the table, where your opponent is already waiting for you. The audience doesn't applaud you much, but they do focus on you quite a bit.Your opponent is... unique. You aren't quite sure what to make of him, but SHODAN seems to know something about him.["That's..."]After a short pause, SHODAN sends you an image embedded with a set of information. It's a deep-sea, soft-bodied creature. No bones, no gas pods. Just pure muscle, incredible dexterity and apparently a shockingly high intellect. It's called an "Octopus".Indeed, your opponent bears a striking resemblance to an octopus in some ways. In place of arms, he has two massive tentacles, complete with suckers. The remainder of his limbs are being used as legs for locomotion.His entire torso, if he has one, is contained in some sort of metal apparatus. Half of his head is covered by a machine that seems to be filtering water through his neck and out of vent-holes on his head. His eyes are also covered by goggles, which look to be filled with water.If it weren't for the fact that Baal described him as an "old favorite" here, you wouldn't be sure whether or not he was strong enough to compete at all in that state. He looks almost helpless as the water gently bubbles through his life-support device.Regardless, he bows his head and crosses his body with one arm. A sign of respect, you recognize.And then he speaks, his voice raspy and forced, but still understandable."I look forward to our match. It is a pleasure to compete with new opponents.">Try to taunt him, see if you can tease out some information about his personality>Return his greeting respectfully>Simply remain silent>Write-in?Also, roll me 1d100, best of 3. DC:65
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>5115847YEET
>>5115847Oh yeah.>Return his greeting respectfullyNo need to be rude.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>5115847>Return his greeting respectfullyBased respectful squid-man
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>5115847>>Simply remain silentNat 1
>>5115847>Return his greeting respectfully>>5115867rip squidbro
>>5115847>Return his greeting respectfully
>>5115847>Return his greeting respectfullySeems like a nice fellow.>>5115867He never stood a chance.
>>5115847>>Try to taunt him, see if you can tease out some information about his personality"Yeah whatever. I bet your dick doesn't have a bone in it... you do have a dick do you?"
>>5115847Return his greeting respectfully.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>5115847>>Return his greeting respectfully
>>5115847It would be rude not to respond politely."...I also... look forward to... our match. Good luck."Skylligg offers a tentacle for a handshake, which you accept.As soon as you put your hand out, he wraps his tentacle around your hand repeatedly. Quite frankly, the strength of his grip is incredible. It could crush the bones of lesser species with ease.However, his demeanor doesn't change. He isn't trying to injure you, he's simply that strong. Seeing you completely unaffected by his grip, he grins."It seems the competition this time is a bit better after all.""Well, look at this, folks!" Baal says over the speakers. "What a lovely display of sportsmanship!"The crowd actually boos at that. It seems they're only here to see people get hurt, not for any actual sport.Amidst the boos, you and Skylligg sit at your chairs and place your arms on the table. While you grab the edge of the table with your left arm, Skylligg uses his suckers to firmly attach himself to the entire table.Once again, he wraps his tentacles around your hand. There are no joints in his arm, no fingers to crush, no leverage to gain or lose by adjusting your angle.And yet, he seems to be making an effort to mimic a normal arm, bending his tentacle into approximately the same shape.He doesn't seem worried at all. Skylligg just stares straight into your eyes with an unwavering smile. And then Baal comes over the loudspeaker."Alright folks, who's ready for the... WHEEL! OF! DEATH!"That's a terrible name. But the audience eats it up, exploding into a raucous at the announcement.Not even a moment later, a large wheel with the names of several hazards painted on it pops up out of the bloody sand, causing the audience to fall silent. You notice the gigantic screens above you are all focused on that wheel.And then, it spins. While producing a game-like noise, which you find somewhat distasteful. The wheel slowly spins to a stop, landing on the "water hazard" segment.Skylligg glances over only after it's stopped, then sighs in apparent relief."Sorry. Luck of the draw, my friend. Don't hold it against me."At that moment, four gigantic panels of either plastic or glass shoot up out of the sand as well. There is no exit, and you doubt you could break through it.There's a loud thud as they lock into place, and then massive streams of water begin falling from the arena's roof, landing in the four corners of the box.Dry sand and blood whip around the box violently as it begins filling rapidly, and you might have been washed away had the table and chair not been bolted to the metal floor underneath the sands.It doesn't even take a minute before the torrent of cold water covers your head, and soon the box is filled to quite a height. The waters soon settle, and although they're still slightly murky from the sand suspended in them, that too quickly begins to settle.A small display panel pops up beside you, shining quite brightly.
>>5117268Guess we gotta remember to suffer from near asphixia upon winning
>>5117629No way bro, just say we're amphibious. Or we got synthetic lungs after they got blown up when someone tried to kill us by spacing us. Pirates are mean, mmkay?There's a lot of ways to bullshit it. Or we can just straight up tell anyone who's curious about our breath capacity to fuck off.
>>5117643I like the "blame pirates" explanation, especially in this neighborhood.
>>5117890>>5117643hell yeah. that could explain our raspy voice and breathing.
>>5117268All the panel says, in big letters, is "GO!".And so you do.Skylligg seems surprised at your lack of panic or hesitation, and pushes back quite hard.However, you're easily able to overcome him, taking your time in doing so... that is, until he adds a second "arm" into the mix.It's not as if there's no precedence for it. Even in the preliminary rounds, there was a man with multiple arms, and they were all allowed.Your progress slows as his second, and then a third arm wrap around yours. Likewise, two more arms stick themselves to the wrestling table to support him.After struggling for around a minute, he finally uses all eight of his arms. Four to push, four to pull. Each arm is fairly strong, but nothing special. However, he's using them as if they were a single, gigantic limb...And now you're being pushed back. So you shift your posture, digging your foot into the sand until you find it pushing against the hard plate metal flooring underneath. Then you push with the strength of your entire body.Skylligg is clearly shocked at the power you're capable of outputting, even in these conditions. However he doesn't relent even as you slowly edge his arms toward the table.Using his extremely long dexterous arms to his advantage, he un-sticks the ends of of his bracing tentacles from the table and reaches over, using them to keep you from lowering his other arms completely.You really want to complain that he's cheating at this point, but even if you could complain, you doubt anyone would listen.You really are maxed out at this point. Without any joints or leverage to really exploit, you can't make progress. But neither can he.Although he's prevented you from tapping him out, he can't push you back with all of his arms either. Further, he's resorted to a rather awkward position to keep from losing.For him, it must be like he's holding an enormous at an odd angle. He must be counting on you to run out of breath and pass out, but that won't happen.So all you have to do is wait. Skylligg won't run out of breath, but he will get tired. You on the other hand, are running on a full charge. Minutes pass at a stalemate, and you can feel his muscles start to twitch and cramp under the strain. He's clearly racking his brain, thinking of a way out of this.And then, in a moment of panic as he starts to slip, the water goes completely black. Skylligg shot some kind of inky fluid from his mouth, creating a cloud to obscure your vision.His tentacles hit the table, and you think it's over... but nothing's happening. You're just sitting there in inky darkness with him for several long minutes, hand-in-hand.The ink slowly begins to clear as it spreads out, and then Skylligg starts pushing again as if nothing had happened! He really is cheating!As soon as it's just clear enough to see what's going on, a small drone floats over and shines a bright light on the both of you. It's equipped with a broadcasting camera for the audience.
>>5118485wonder how David would handle this...His strength output only surpasses Clanks by so much.
>>5118515As soon as he shot that ink out, David probably would have punched him in the head.
>>5118524Sounds about right.
>>5117643>Win arm wrestling tournament>Come out after being submerged for half an hour>Refuses to elaborate further>Takes the prize money>leaves
>>5118524I still can't imagine the alien. I am picturing a tentacle-like starfish with a head on top and that's so awkward... h shit that made me remember an illustrationScanning...Found it
>>5118606Im gonna fuck that starfish until it turns into a jellyfish
>>5118608The artist is named Sparrow in pixiv. Pixiv id 17311392He draws nice stuff from time to time, but most of his skill is used in being a coomer and drawing porn of whatever shonnen shit is famous this season
This one is interesting too. It was two arms, just like your average human!!
This one is nice!!
>>5118606Imagine squidward, but instead of his torso he's got a metal jar with legs sticking out.
>>5118651Alright, that helps
>>5118651If we're arm-wrestling squidward, do we start laughing like an idiot after?
>>5118485Once again, Skylligg tries to wait you out. But his strength falters more quickly this time, with no change at all in your strength.This time, he's forced to concede before the camera as you slowly lower his arms to the table.As soon as it's over, he slams his tentacles onto the table repeatedly, then slams his own head onto the table as well, where he stays even after the box has fully drained and it's glassy walls lowered back into the sand."And there you have it, folks! Somehow, Contestant Clark has managed to defeat Skylligg on his own home turf!" Baal yells over the speakers.Surprisingly, the crowd is actually cheering for you this time. You're not sure why, as it wasn't terribly interesting from your perspective.Baal actually comes out into the arena with a microphone in hand, and starts asking you questions. As soon as she makes her appearance, the crowd goes absolutely wild. They must really like her for some reason."Tell me, mister Clark! How was your opponent? How did you manage to hold your breath for nearly eight minutes without dying?! And of course, we'd love to know what kind of background you have to be so strong! It looked to me like Skylligg was using all eight limbs back there!">Answer Her (Write-In)>Stay silent and walk back to the waiting area>Write-in?
>>5119949>Answer Her (Write-In)Pirates stole a lung once, so I stole theirs. They had, very, very good lungs. I have three now, and they are of exquisite quality.As to my victory, my master taught me the art of strength. (Do the evil Darth Sidious laugh and hand rubbing)
>>5119981That's good enough for me
>>5119949the explanation works here>>5119981
>>5119981Support>>5119949Unrelated, something occured to me.This is in the past.In this universe, we can still save McAfee and the Bogdanoffs.What do you guys think of adding it to the to do list?
>>5120091Put it on the todolist, SHODAN should be able to sniff out the infiltrators and we can stop them.
>>5120091McAfee never made good on The Dickening, so fuck him he deserves everything he got.
>>5120091It's in the past and David cannot see the future. So that's a net null bro.
>>5120091We can prove Epstein didn't kill himself.
>>5119949>My original lungs were heavily damaged in a previous incident, and the replacements are somewhat upgraded. As for the strength, I train extensively in higher gravity.
>>5120191An addendum:>Skyllig was a formidable opponent, and I wish him the best of luck in the future.
>>5120091McAfee should be a high priority but we will need to install a hammock with a hole in it above his bed.
>>5119949>Thought I was... gonna die... Felt like... forever... Everything went black...
>>5119949>My original lungs were heavily damaged in a previous incident, and the replacements are somewhat upgraded. As for the strength, I train extensively in higher gravity.Every good lie has a little bit of the truth mixed in.
>Answer Her (Write-In)>>5119981This PlusSkylligg was almost my match. Overall He is the greatest opponent given the enviroment I have ever faced. He has my respect.>>5120140we already did.
>>5119981Do we have to go so far into detail.Can't the answers be "tough, pirates and pirates"?
>>5120424That's too few details.
>>5119949"I... was..." You start, not entirely sure whether or not to say all this publicly."I was burned... during a pirate raid. Smoke... destroyed my lungs... had to be... replaced."You notice the hovering camera move to try and get a shot of your face, but you turn and cover yourself with your hood before it can get a clear view."Oh my, that's terrible! But it does explain your exceptional lung capacity! Are they cybernetic, perhaps?""Transplants... three of them." You lie."That's... okay then. What about your incredible strength? Skylligg was certainly no pushover!"You chuckle in your fake, raspy voice. Slowly at first, but it builds more and more until a cough cuts it off."Hah... hah... Strength? No, this... is nothing... compared to my master."That camera drone is really starting to get annoying, so to make a point you reach out and grasp it by the lens before it can move away, crushing it in your hydraulic grip."He taught me... how to be strong. Showed me... the path of strength.""Okaaaaay... what... uhm... what do you mean by that, exactly? ...If you don't mind me asking."This isn't exactly on script, but SHODAN is helping you along a bit, so you manage to come up with something."Simple. Training... the epitome of strength... carved from one's body... from one's will... through endless... suffering. Impurities are burned away... and all that remains, is power.""I think i get it! Sort of..." Baal says, seeming to question herself. "Not just training, but some sort of meditation too? Like those crazy Tyleddin monks?"You don't know what a Tyleddin monk is. You'll have to look it up after this."In a manner... of speaking. The gravity we trained in... was enough to crush... many species, outright. Living in that alone... takes great strength... of body... and of mind.""Gravity? Ah! Yeah, i've heard some races, like Caithans, live in really high gravity. What was it again? 0.7g? That's more than double the galactic standard! What sort of gravity did you train under, mister Clark?""One gee. More than... three times standard."Baal sucks air through her teeth at hearing that."Yikes! Even 0.7g is enough to make my knees creak! I can't imagine having to walk around in that!"You chuckle, having heard a certain story from SHODAN. An assassin had snuck onto Captain Rockefeller's ship, and to deal with him he set the local gravity to five gees. The assassin was crushed nearly to death in just ten seconds, but the captain was fine.Even you would crumple under just three gees. What monstrous strength."Well alright folks, you heard it from the burn victim's mouth! Give it up for Clark!"This time you're met with a mix of cheers and jeers. Some of them don't seem to believe that you trained in one gee conditions. Technically you have been, not that it would condition your muscles...Regardless, Baal waves you off back to the waiting room and begins to announce the next two contestants.
>>5120875back to the waiting room? what, and we wen't get to see the other match?
>>5120878You could. It'll be starting in a bit.
Also dropped my trip
>>5120875Ourg is best Oni, Baal is pleb tier
>>5120875Our boy Clank did it lads!
>>5120111Good point, I guess we just proceed with dismantling the globohomo stuff and hope he will be fine. Or that QM makes a random event a la 'Wild Wasteland' and we somehow meet him, but that's just wishful thinking.The Bogs though should be easy, they are already in contact with aliens. We can just call them when we're in orbit.
Can't wait for the crew to meet the rest of our marine friends if we have any.Do you think since we can move faster than light then any time dialation that would've occurred is rendered innert?
>>5121023Our squaddies were caught by an IED. That said, there's gotta be at least a few people David knows from his days in the service.
>>5121256Can't wait for the aliens to learn about human culture in much more hands on.They're going to think we're sexual degenerates.
>>5121023when I read "marine friends" I thought about dolphins and whales
>>5121514Unfortunately the only marine mammal associated with the USMC is the Dependapotomus.
>>5121023Of we for real have some of David's marine's in a little black book of his.
>>5121514Nay they're all navy.
fuck dolphins, they are cunts
I don't know there'll be an update today. It'll be really late if there is.Sorry lads, i've had some shit to deal with today and i'm honestly just exhausted. I need to sleep.
>>5122238S'all good, man. Have a good rest.
>>5120875"Just one more thing." You tell her, grabbing her hand to pull the mic closer."Skylligg was... en excellent opponent. He tried hard... to win. I couldn't... overpower him completely. Thank you."With that, you let go and turn to walk off. As you do, you see Skylligg turn his head to look at you. He seems absolutely downtrodden for some reason, but he lets out a faint chuckle that isn't quite audible from here."Well, alright folks! Now, the next match will be between Gedri of planet Chondra and Javan of planet Sunda! Are you ready?!"The crowd goes wild once again. As you're walking through the doors, you see both contestants exit from the opposite waiting room.One of them is a Chondrite, like Gron. The other has a thoroughly serpentine body, with a "hood" like flap of skin around her head. She is female, isn't she?You start to head out in order to collect your winnings, but one of the contestants waiting in here stops you."Hold on, bud. You might want to watch this! It's not every day you get to see a Chondrite and a Sevinite wrestle!"You must admit, you are somewhat interested. Not because of their races, but because the closer you look at them... the more their appearances seem to match two members of Gron's team.Funnily enough, neither of them bother sitting. You suspect that there's little point for Javan, who has no legs. And Gedri probably weighs so much that she'd break the chair.The two of them glare at eachother quite harshly, and then Javan spits into her hand, which begins to hiss and smoke slightly. Is that her stomach acid?Gedri grabs her hand without a moment's hesitation, although she does wince upon contact.Baal spins the wheel once more, and this time it lands on the "extreme heat" hazard.The glass box from before rises out of the sand once again, and this time a barrier is projected over the top, sealing it in completely.It doesn't look like much is happening for a moment, until balls of flame begin bursting up from out of the sand.None of them are anywhere near the contestants, but they are quite sizeable. The temperature of the room is definitely rising quickly."And... WRESTLE!" Baal yells.Gedri doesn't do anything special, she just puts her muscle behind it and pushes. That's all.Javan, however, seems to have a plan. Her entire lower body wraps around the table itself, allowing her to straighten out her arm and torso. She's not pushing with her arm, she's using her entire lower body!Despite that, both of them are clearly struggling. The table, despite being made of steel, also appears to be struggling somewhat. You can see it being crushed by Javan's muscles even from here, and it may fold in on her soon.You can see them talking to eachother mid-match, but you can't hear what they're saying at this distance. The camera was destroyed as well, so they can't exactly get in close to broadcast it."That's some crazy strength." One of the contestants watching with you comments.
Sorry about that, boys. I got a nap in, but now i've got a massive migraine.
>>5122743It happens man, drink some water.
>>5122748water and ibuprofin, for sure.
>>5122750Did you get some fresh socks too?
>>5122763i got my black comfy socks on
>>5122743naproxeno is way better at managing mild migraine. 1g (a lot) on a single doze should be strong enough to get you better. Your brain will still be mud because of the pain (that you don't feel) however.Another strategy is to use different action drugs, such as paracetamol + NSAID (that naproxeno is)There are some meds that you can take to prevent too many migraines but you have to identify your triggers and avoid them. Beer, waiting in line doing nothing and bad sleep are my triggers. In my case I consume amitriptilina as profilaxis but you should start with a milder one like labetalol 20mg once every night and hey! your blood pressure might even thank you
>>5122836>1g of paracetamol and NSAID (probably naproxen sodium by that brand name) combinedJesus I wonder what your liver and kidneys look like
>>5123285Just don't do it often, sheesh
>>5122741"Yeah." Another chimes in. "Look at what she's doing to that table. It would be over if she managed to wrap herself around you.""Why does she have tits?" A third asks. The room quickly goes quiet. "...What? I'm just saying, she's reptilian, isn't she?""That's... a good point, actually. Huh. I don't actually know anything about Sevinite biology.""Does it really matter? Even if it's just window dressing... i approve.""I thought you were sweet on the big blue one, Malak.""Who says i can't appreciate more than one girl? I'm a highly cultured individual, i'll have you know.""You're a freak, is what you are. You've visited more xeno brothels than any two men combined, and you're proud of it for some reason. Doesn't that say something about you?""Yes. It says that i'm highly cultured.""Gods..."While those two bicker, the struggle between snake and rock continues. You notice that the flame vents have gradually increased in intensity over time, and are now constantly spewing flames, unlike the occasional puffs from before.Somehow, both of them seem to be putting out even more than they were at the start. The table is completely destroyed at this point, and likely would have folded had it not been bolted to the ground.Every time Gedri starts to make headway, Javan will shift the position of her torso and apply force in a different direction. She's essentially "wiggling" her way forwards, but that only works up to a point.It's hard to tell how the heat is affecting the two of them, as neither is sweating. However, you can imagine at this point that the oxygen is starting to get depleted within that box.Especially now that the jets have doubled in size. The bright orange flames have turned dark blue in color, and likely threaten to burn the two contestants simply from the radiative heat.They look as if they're being cooked alive in there."Damn! They're really gonna kill them if this keeps up!""Yeah... well, the sevinite, maybe. I'm not so sure about the chondrite. Can you kill a rock by cooking it?""Even a rock might melt in that kind of heat."True to their expectations, the heat seems to be getting to Javan quicker than Gedri. She begins losing ground, and eventually crumples. Gedri basically smashes her whole body into the table, destroying it completely.Gedri raises her arms up into the air and roars in victory, but it's inaudible through the thick glass.The flame jets cease all at once, revealing pools of molten glass where the sand had melted around them.When the glass walls come down again, a wave of heat rolls across the entire arena floor, and you can even feel it coming through the open waiting room doors.Javan lays unconscious on the hot sands. Two attendants push their way past you and grab her by the tail, quickly dragging her back out of the arena."And there we have it, folks! Gedri of planet Chondra is the winner of our second bout today!" Baal yells.
>>5123620>I'm a highly cultured individual, i'll have you know.Indeed. Indeed he is.
>>5123620This update was mega cool. Good job QM!I do wonder why does she have tits. Maybe they evolved to hatch eggs inside her pouch and raise to their young... hold on I think I have a fucked up ero doujinshi about...
>>5123897Found it! The artist is the same one that draws that comic about a red-head tomboy and her quest to confess to her manly childhood friend who she is always fighting with. I forgot the name because it's fucking boring but it also has a dark haired girl that is the badass character and also a big-titted blonde rich girl... anyway, the snake you see in pic related
This might be too much for a blue board, maybe. As you can see the n*pples are inside a cavity protected by scales, thus it can drag herself on the ground safely. They can be forced out by excessive pressure or mating!
>>5123901You know most people don't deliver after saying something like that. Props to you in that regard.
>>5123907Indeed! Anon not being a faggot and delivering is a rare occurrence. And when they do deliver, a 3-day ban comes next... Anyway, QM, why don't we imagine Javan looking like pic related instead? Minus all the rape of course. I think this character has way more personality than tit-snake from nu-com
>>5123910I need some sauce before you're taken out by the mods.
>>5123910You can take whatever appearance you want as canon, it doesn't matter too much.Any pictures i post are just to give the players a general idea of what they're dealing with.
>>5123912Fuck off, learn to how to use google image search>>5123914Alright, I'll imagine she has a shirt like pick related
Rolled 49 (1d100)Before I am gone and back to lurking I want to roll a dice. I do not know if it will mean anything but
There are many snake girl ero doujinshi out there...
>>5123915Fine, I will.Fuckin' asshole.
>>5123914Ah fuck man, I wish you gave us a chan e to make bets on the m as tch between the rock lady and the snake lady.
>>5124254Betting on others was specifically disallowed to help prevent match fixing.Of course, you're still betting on yourself, so...
>>5123620Baal places her hand on Gedri's wrist to raise her arm up, which was a mistake. You hear a hissing sound through the microphone as Baal recoils, clearly burned by Gedri's superheated skin."FUCK! Piss, shit, goddamn motherfucker...! GAHHHHahahahaaa! Ahem. Sorry about that."She recovers fairly quickly, although her hand is clearly bothering her."Anyways... ah... Miss Gedri, do you have anything to say to the audience? That was quite the heated match, if you catch my drift!"Gedri snatches the mic out of her hand and speaks directly into it."Ahehem. Javan was tough as usual, but she lost like usual all the same! Unfortunately for her, the heat was a bit much this time around! Regardless, i'll be happy to take your money again next time we fight. Gahaha!""Ehehe... Miss Gedri, please doesn't agitate the audience. It never ends well.""Huh? Don't tell me what to do, pinky. Don't think i can't squish you like a bug, you hear?"The shift in Baal's tone is swift and extreme. The smile on her face disappears like you had just imagined it, and her stance switches from relaxed to combative in an instant."What did you just just say to me?" Baal says, barely above a whisper.There's a moment of dead silence as the two of them stare eachother down. That look in Baal's eyes... it's just like the Captain. And just like Ourg. Whatever that is, it's enough to make you nervous whenever you see it. Like something is about to happen, although you aren't certain as to what, exactly.Fortunately, that silence is broken up by cheers from the audience, who quickly begin chanting in expectation of a fight.However, Gedri doesn't seem to like the look in Baal's eyes any more than you do, and decides to back down."...Calm down, Baal. It's not that big of a deal." Gedri tells her."Give back my microphone. Now." Baal orders.Gedri drops the mic into Baal's hand... but the plastic seems to have melted in her grip. Baal holds it by the metal end-piece instead."I know you all want blood, but i can't give you any tonight." She informs the crowd. "However, if miss Gedri would like to sign up as a gladiator, i'll be happy to put her in her place.""...I have no plans to put my life on the line. However, there is one thing i'd like to say before i leave, if you don't mind." Gedri asks.Baal holds the microphone out for Gedri. "Say it, and get out.""Alright." She says, taking a deep breath. "GRON! I KNOW YOU'RE ON THE STATION! COME TO OUR OLD PLACE TONIGHT, YOU KNOW THE ONE!"The microphone reverberates slightly as Gedri yells into it. As you expected, she's one of Gron's crew after all. Javan must be as well, then.>Call Gron, let him know the two of them are here>Let the Gedri's message reach Gron naturally
>>5124717>>Call Gron, let him know the two of them are here
>>5124717>Call Gron, let him know the two of them are hereSo, after our last match, Clank and the rest of the crew netted a pay out of 1k each?
>>5124717>Call Gron, let him know the two of them are here
>>5124717>>Let the Gedri's message reach Gron naturally
>>5124717>>Let the Gedri's message reach Gron naturallyguys wtf, just let her do her thing...
>>5124707He meant betting on individual rounds, rather than the overall tournament results. No reason that'd be disallowed.
>>5124717>Let the Gedri's message reach Gron naturallyI don't think we need to tell him, I bet if we do he'll just say something like "Ah yea, I know already, but thanks pal."Dude has his connections.
We need a proper Archive at some point.
>>5125328They get archived when i make a new thread. All of them are available on suptg.The previous thread link is in the OP, along with a link to the discord.
>>5125330I know they get auto archived, but I meant a master link list with all the threads together, like other quests use. You forgot the links in the early threads too, so I can't find them.
>>5125339Don't be retarded, anon.https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=humanity+-+fuck+yeah%21
>>5125341>Asking someone on 4chan to don't be raterded
>>5125359You know the rules.
>>5124717>Call Gron, let him know the two of them are hereCoordination and communication are vital.
>>5125377and so do i
>>5125341>>5125359>>5125377he was merely pretending
>>5124717There's a bit of chatter as the crowd discusses Gedri's announcement, but you pay it no mind.Instead, you take your leave of the arena and start making a private call to Gron's holopad.It rings three times before he picks up.["Gron speaking. Who is this?"]["I am Clank, from Captain Rockefeller's crew."]["Alright, go ahead and speak."]["I believe i have found two of your crewmates. Are you interested in their locations?"]["Really? That's great news! Yes, i'm interested. Where and who are they?"]["They are in the underground arena. More specifically, i believe one of them is likely in the infirmary after a heated match, but they are both alright."]["I see. The underground here is quite large, i haven't had time to scour it properly yet. And who did you say they were?"]["Gedri and Javan."]["WHAT?!"]You hear some people fussing at Gron to keep quiet in the background.["Sorry, sorry."] He sighs. ["But what in the world is Gedri doing here?!"]["Was she not supposed to be?"] You ask.["No. Technically she's not even a part of my crew, but..."]You wait for him to continue.["Well, she's my sister."]["I see. She told you to "Come to our old place tonight" and that "you'd know the one" she was talking about."]["...Ah, that place. Yes, i know exactly where she means. Alright, i'll make sure to be there. Thank you for informing me, Clank."]["It was my pleasure, Captain Gron."]You end the call with Gron and make your way over to the betting booth, both to collect your winnings and to re-invest in yourself.When you get there, several people are already in line, collecting their winnings. Among them, you find Denywynn as well. That's concerning.You aren't sure whether he knows who you are and what you look like or not, but it's likely he does. Still, he hasn't spotted you yet.>Spy on him, try to see what sorts of winnings he collected and what he has to say>Have SHODAN collect his financial data, try to see what kind of capital he might have to hand>Avoid him entirely, you don't want to be seen collecting your winnings while he's here>Write-in?
>>5126326>>Avoid him entirely, you don't want to be seen collecting your winnings while he's hereI mean he is eventually going to know but let's DILATE
>>5126326>>Spy on him, try to see what sorts of winnings he collected and what he has to say>>Have SHODAN collect his financial data, try to see what kind of capital he might have to handPor que no los dos?
>>5126413+1 Double down on subertufuge
>>5126413Go ahead and roll me 1d100, best of 3.DC: 20
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>5126913Man am I glad Clank's our buddy.
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>5126913Ere we go
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>5126913i am number 1
>>5126954Yes, yes you are.
>>5126954He has definitely caught a superhero.
>>5126326["SHODAN, can you get his financial data as well?"]["Certainly. Just give me a... Hmm."]["What happened?"]["His holopad contains non-standard hardware. Additionally, there appears to be a counter-virus lying in wait inside."]["Are you alright?"]["Of course. I'd have to be a fool to get infected by something so trivial. There, now let's see..."]SHODAN displays the available information to you. It looks like his records have been altered somewhat, but from everything you see here... he has at least 250,000 credits that he can move around. Most of it is likely stored safely as latinum. However, there are still 53,000 credits stored directly on his holopad. It seems that his winnings from the first match amounted to... about 250 credits. Barely anything.["He must be testing the waters. Determining whether it's worth betting more, based on the payout of the first match."]["Do you think he'll bet again?"]["It is possible, considering your investment this round and that of the two others."]You cover yourself with your hood as Denywynn leaves with his meager winnings, taking care to keep at least one or two people between him and yourself.Once again, SHODAN assists you by giving instructions based on the Captain's memories. You aren't sure how or why she got hold of them, but it's proof enough that they must trust eachother deeply. Why else would the Captain have allowed it?["Over there. Act like you're buying something from that stall. You only need to act like you belong there, as if it's the most natural thing in the world."]["But i'll be out in the open. He'll have a direct line of sight."]["Trust me, it'll work."]True to her word, you browse around a food stall while Denywynn walks right past you as if you were invisible.The close proximity makes it easier for you to hear what exactly it is he's talking about as he meets up with someone."So? How are the bets looking, Denny?""Pretty rich, actually. More than i was expecting, for sure.""Alright. Twenty thousand?""Make it forty, just in case.""That's... a lot. Are you sure about this?""Yeah. I wasn't at first, but the guy we got is basically a monster. I thought we were screwed this time around, but he blew through his first match like it was nothing.""What was the matchup?""He was up against Skylligg.""Damn, that's a hell of a first match. But he won, right? Did they get the heat hazard?""No, that's the thing. It was the water hazard. Clark beat him on his own turf, on a single breath."The unknown man seems genuinely shocked."I'll have to look at the recording for that one, then. It's a bit hard to believe, honestly.""You do that. Next match is tomorrow, so make sure you get your bet in on time.""Don't worry, i'll be there."So Denywynn is actually planning to invest in the next match. You'll have to take that into account when you make your bet.
>>5128268>Invest 60K, ensure you take at least 50%>Invest everything, take whatever you can>Don't bother, the payout isn't all that much>Write-In?Also, what will you do for the next day until the match?>Wander around, see what the area has to offer>Head back up to the upper city, check in with the crew>Check out the arena's other ongoing tournaments>Write-In?
>>5128271>Invest everything, take whatever you canDICK IN HAND>Wander around, see what the area has to offer
>>5128271>Invest everything, take whatever you can>Check out the arena's other ongoing tournaments
>>5128271>Invest 60K, ensure you take at least 50%>Check out the arena's other ongoing tournamentsDoes Clank's programming allow for learning via observation? Specifically in the case of combat I mean.
>>5128271Look, I don't know none of this Kakegurui gambling bullshit just tell me what the optimum move is to make the most money provided we win. >Check out the arena's other ongoing tournamentsI really hope we get David vs. an Oni, they're the scariest ayys we've come upon so far and we should test them.
>>5128350As far as David's chances go, I'd give him a 50/50 chance if it's a fist fight.If weapons are allowed however, 70/30 in David's favor.
>>5128357I don't understand why you'd give it those odds, seeing as David's a talented unarmed martial artist and Ourg and Baal have only been shown using weapons so far.
>>5128429Despite what the nips may tell you, size is key in a fight.Plus I don't know how David feels about beating on women.
>>5128439If it's just someone beating on a civilian? Death sentence for anyone he catches doing it.However, a combatant is a combatant regardless of what's between their legs. If they come at you, it's fair game.
>>5128439Fair but are they bigger than David in the first place?
>>5128446Ah. An equal opportunity ass-beater I see.Speaking of David fighting folks though, how's he doing on the odd jobs?
>>5128448of course they are bigger. Oh hey, it seems I was IP banned from posting images but I can send messages without one. Mods were benevolent. Or they appreciate my superior taste for snake girls and inverted n*pples.>>5128271>>Invest 60K, ensure you take at least 50%>>Head back up to the upper city, check in with the crewChecking the crew is important. There is always the trope of "and where I returned, they were gone" It is very important to maintian links!!!
>>5128439One problem. At least in terms of space bullshit. Typically bigger means less gravity means weaker. It's easier to be a gigantic fucking pool noodle in .3 Gs than 1.5 Gs. David has consistently been acknowledged as not only surprisingly heavy but freakishly strong even with his impressive stature. While I'm sure these ladies are strong and not just completely lacking in body fat (except for where it matters) I doubt they'd be pound for pound as strong as David despite being physically larger than him.And as great of an advantage reach is, if that's the only advantage you have you're gonna have a bad time dealing with someone faster, stronger, and tougher. We need more data on the psychotic chromatic demonic chicks before we can conclusively measure their physical prowess.
>>5128622How about an update to the ol' height chart?
>>5128667Oh that's much better. Finally a woman David can see eye to eye with. She's pushing seven feet. Impressive. Now we just have to do the knuckle knock test to check for bone density and the good ol fashion sneaky massage to get that muscle density. We already know they have good strong ligaments and connective tissues from the fact she clobbered a big fatso across a room. Big stick means lots of torque. Baseball swings need strong tendons for best results.Hair pulling is completely optional but does greatly display the strength of various levels of skin toughness. Never neglect your dermis, kids.
>>5128667Is Clank gonna accidentally his own harem of Oni girls by the end of this?
>>5128667By excluding clank and sanig, you have courted death. My bitcoin assassin will be there by the end of the week.
>>5128667TF is sanig, clank, and our Janitor?
>>5128970>>5128765I mean clearly it was a list of the potential fuckbuddies as compared to David but if you want to add Sanig and Clank to the list...
>>5129099Who cares about the Horny, Give me a size chart of everyone we have.
>>5129102>who cares about the hornyI don't understand why you came to a "Humanity FUCK yeah" quest.
>>5129107to kill xenos
Kek, i didn't expect anyone to care, but alright. The next height chart update will include the boys as well.
Alright, sorry to say but this will probably be your update for today. I need to go over a few things anyways, so it is what it is. In the meantime, let me know if there's anything you lads would be interested in seeing. No, i'm still not writing smut.
>>5129464You forgot SHODAN
>>5129479SHODAN is a cube of black metal the size of a basketball
>>5129464I want more smut though. Gobbo is best smut bait, at least until Cylia gets her big girl britches on and asks for a shot.
>>5129488And a Ship, the size chart is her insides.
>>5129464>gildur with a broomkekQM, been meaning to ask for a while, considering pic related, how much of all aliens don't understand conditional hypotheticals, given they have smooth brains and all?
>>5129543There's a reason a lot of them are relegated to unskilled labor, just to keep them busy. There are no burger flippers out there, but there are a lot of people standing around keeping the salad bar topped off.
>>5129547I see, so that's why most greys just fuck off and try to avoid contact. Better than to interact with a galactic sized quasi-idiocracy.
>>5129543How the fuck can you not understand "If you - then what"? It's literally just imaginary cause and effect.
>>5129572Nigs be like that.
>>5129572sometimes its how you word the sentence, sometimes....they just can't. its similar to some people being unable to imagine images in their head or lacking an internal monologue; they just can't
>>5129572Probably something related to how well developed are the centers of reasoning and pattern recognition.You know that thing where you imagine an apple?How people imagine varies, some see a clear defined picture, some do not see anything at all ever. Maybe that also applies to general logic.Once you hit a critical point, you just stop seeing it altogether.At that point you might as well ask them to imagine a new color, they won't fathom either.>>5129627Heh, beat me to it.
>>5129627sounds kinda like alzheimers, that shit is scary man and we are living with them on top of that
>>5129464reminder that sanig is the perfect size to wear in a backpack so he can watch our backs while we watch his back
>>5129740>Sanig turns David into a mounted optionThat would be cool as shit, make an armored carrier backpack to the Power Armor, and we can ride into battle! Or Cylia can be carried in it too.
>>5129818>>5129740Im reminder of the tactical halfling backpack carrier. We can make this work lol.
>>5129627>>5129631>imagine being so dumb you don't think with dialog or images.Acutaly, how tf can someone process information without it... do they speak aloud everything they think?
>>5129740Now that I think about, David in his power armor is probably large enough to have a turret mounted on his back.
>>5129926>Acutaly, how tf can someone process information without it... do they speak aloud everything they think?Oh no that's the thing, they don't think much at all. And when they do think, you can see the wheels turning slower than shit.
>>5129973>the little hamster that could running his ass off>oh shit yeah if I get shot I could die, thanks homie
>>5129973how can you LIVE without thinking damn it. Do people zone out (something that might happen to you for seconds until there is some stimuli) their whole waking hours?
>>5130000Look at hood rats, jews, or communists. They are people in shape only.
>>5130036Bro just look at the Chinese. Even a thousand years ago they'd just nod along when someone said something strongly enough because of muh "heaven's mandate". Jesus.
>>5130097that's most people, really. shout at them hard enough and they do whatever you tell them to.
>>5130107The only difference is the Chinese built their culture around it. At least other regions had the decency of excuses mixed in. "I come from a noble family" or "The gods have spoken to me" or some other wacky shit. The Mandate of Heaven is literally "I won. Therefore I own everything" which is nuts.
>>5129488That reminds me, we need to show the crew some Earth sports sometime.>"Wow David...warfare on your planet looks intense.">"Warfare? What? No, this is just football.">"Foot...ball?">"It's a sport on my home planet. They aren't trying to kill each other.">"Are you absolutely sure?">"Just wait till you see boxing. SHODAN! PULL UP THE MIKE TYSON FOOTAGE!">pic related
>>5130194they'll have a blast with wrestling.>what do you mean this is choreographed?!?>but it looks so real!
>>5130194>SHODAN! PULL UP THE MIKE TYSON FOOTAGE!">Yeah so chimps right? Look at how crazy muscular they are. They're strong as hell. They'll rip your nuts off. Have you ever tried DMT?
>>5130204>"Look at him! Off the top rope and-">"Oh...that looked bad. I think he may have really gotten hurt.">"He's just selling the move is all. This guy's great at it.">"BUT HE'S LOSING SO MUCH BLOOD!">"It's fiiiiiiine. He just sliced his forehead with a razor is all.">"HOW IS THAT ANY BETTER?!"
>>5130212https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hMp65SzyTU>wow, gotta admit that the padding to soften his fall were pretty well hidden>what padding?
>>5129543Does anyone have links to actual research on the IQ conditional hypotheticals thing? A quick Google finds nothing and honestly it sounds like bullshit. "Under 90" is too large of a range for good analysis, and anon's post would mean that the average American in like 1960 wouldn't have been able to understand conditional hypotheticals, which seems unlikely.
>>5130307>source: just trust me bro
>>5130307The post that anon wrote made some marginal sense with a lot of asterisks and it would explain the behavior of a lot of people. How credible it is however,>"The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.">"Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."Would also be interested in this phantom research if anyone finds it somehow.>>5129926I used that example to make a parallel, but as far as I know, as a general rule, not thinking with a voice or images doesn't correlate to lack of intelligence. I cannot say about both together though.When the apple thing became more popular that became a common topic among people I knew for a little while, based on conversations with those people, here are the completely legit™ conclusions I had:>Overall Intelligence didn't factor. We'll consider everyones IQ being average.>People with more artistic and creative personalities had either good or very good mental pictures, scoring low.>People with more interest and/or working on STEM mostly scored higher on the scale, either seeing well enough on black and white, poorly, seeing an abstraction of it or not seeing at all.>People with no overt leanings scored all over the place, so, inconclusiveThat makes me think the mental picture, how well we see it, and if we see one at all, is related somehow to which side of the brain is your dominant half. People right dominant, which is the half more creativity focused, could see the picture better, on the other hand, people left dominant, which is the half responsible more for logic, saw the picture worse. If anyone knows of research on this topic I would be interested in it also.How do you guys see it? Use the numbers of that pic. Say which field or interests are.Myself, I'm between 3 and 4, closer to 4. I see black and white but although the 'image' makes sense it isn't clear at all. More abstract. Thus, in between 3 and 4. My field is Engineering.
>>5130560im between 1 and 2 but i have art and engineering degrees
>>5130610Clearly you need brain implants to visualize stuff.
>>5129543I can't help but laugh thinking about this.>There are these people>Then there are people who simulate a small universe in their head for the sake of entertainment>Then there are schizos, who live in a different universe entirely and have a meager physical connection to this one
>>5130560Can people really visualize things to that level?I learned to draw after a long while. I use references to figure how things should look here n there. But I never actually VISUALIZE the thing. I do pretty well with mental 3d object orientation tests, but I dont' actually.... SEE the object I guess? I can figure out where the lighting/shading on a drawing should be, but I can't PRE visualize it in that level of quality. Not even in outline. I can't comprehend actually being able to mentally literally see things. Like what the fuck. Is that shit even trainable?If relevant, I'm a computer engineer (between software and hardware) who tinkers with shit. And obviously there's creative components to me, but I'm not visualizing things short of dreams where it at last feels like I've seen things in high rez.
>>5128268Having gotten the information you wanted, you head back to collect your winnings, which you receive in the form of Latinum.Each members of the crew earned a meager thousand credits each, with a little over a thousand going towards the ship.Hopefully the second round will be more fruitful, but you won't be able to bet on it until tomorrow, right before the match.Right now, you have nothing you need to do. You could check in on the crew, but they all seemed fine... or maybe you could wander a bit and see what the locals have to offer?Well, you've seen the place and you aren't expecting much. Perhaps you could find some black market weapons, but there's no need for that at the moment.Instead, you decide to head back to the underground arena and see what else they've got going on today.When you enter, you find Ourg sitting at the reception desk, her feet kicked up on the counter while she leans back in her chair. She's reading local news articles, it seems.When you enter, she addresses you without looking up."Your match isn't until tomorrow, Clark.""...Came to watch... other events."Ourg raises an eyebrow and looks up at you."Well, you're at the wrong entrance. Patrons enter through the front of the arena building itself. It's one street over. 50 credits for a day pass, 20 for a single event.">Thank her for the information and be on your way>Ask if you can't just watch from the waiting room, since you're a contestant anyways>Ask if there's any particular event that she thinks would be interesting>Write-In?
>>5130627We all go to another world when we sleep. I guess there's a little schizo in all of us.>>5130753>>Ask if there's any particular event that she thinks would be interestingDoes she like long walks in the rivers of enemy blood? Getting caught in artillery barrages?
>>5129631waait... is this why furries pay so much for "art"?They're extremely over represented in IT and it seems most are in STEM fields.
>>5130753>>Ask if you can't just watch from the waiting room, since you're a contestant anyways>>Ask if there's any particular event that she thinks would be interestingworst she can say is no. No sense trying to smash the money maker when they're not being belligerent.
>>5130758Yeeep, they're broken minds lend themselves to those fields.
>>5130753I'll support this>>5130761If we can skip paying, cool.
>>5130752I can picture objects and even entire 3D spaces in my head pretty easily. Even rotate and fly through them like i'm looking at them in a 3D renderer.Weird thing is, it'll actually override my vision. My eyes can be open, but the image coming in from my eyes goes dark while i'm doing that. I guess because i'm using my visual cortex for something else, and it can't handle both.That's what i do when i'm writing a scene for the quest, as well. I'm picturing the events as i type them out.
>>5130752at this point im pretty sure its just a random thing that changes from person to person>>5130758sort of? furries tend to pay a lot for commissions because:-its a niche market-have well paying jobs-they tend to have tons of disposable cashso they tend to pay artists what they're really worth because they don't have the need to be cheap bastards
>>5130771>so they tend to pay artists what they're really worthI dunno. There are some shit artists that charge quite a bit out there.
>>5130767That's the thing. I've GMed for a few games. I can 'visualize' how a town should look and what not, but not to the extent of actually seeing it? Like being able to know how things look, but not literally seeing it in front you. Similarly with human anatomy (which I learned via a VR program (sharecare VR you). I know where the bones are, how they should look, how they interact and all that stuff... but I can't literally see/animate it from the minds eye. I can draw it from my thoughts of how it looks, but it isn't literally a visualization I can see?I don't even know how to explain that.
>>5130779Have you ever been able to lucid dream? I have.It may just have to do with how much control you have over your own brain, who knows.
>>5130773true, but that's not really the artist's problem. if they keep getting commissions at their current price, they don't need to lower their prices because the buyers believe they are worth that even when compared to other artists. like, the price of pic related is fucking egregious to me because i know people that can do way better for less money, but i can't really help but applaud that this dude managed to sell a fucking image for that much money. >>5130753>Ask if you can't just watch from the waiting room, since you're a contestant anyways>Ask if there's any particular event that she thinks would be interesting
>>5130786Haven't really tried lucid dream...I can reliably dream if I'm rested and sleeping and stuff, dunno about lucid dreaming. Maybe I should pick up trying to draw the moment I wake up...
>>5130753>Ask her if there's any particular event she thinks would be interesting>Invite her to come along and we'll pay if she answers
>>5130793yo what the fuck brothat shit just isn't fair
>>5130807Furries ruin everything.
>>5130807>>5130809don't blame the artist. blame the clients that are eager and willing to pay that much
>>5130817I know, that's what I just said.
>>5130753>Ask if you can't just watch from the waiting room, since you're a contestant anywaysIf not, tell her she reminds you of a sub species of humans called Jews.
Alright, go ahead and roll 1d100, best of 3.DC:35
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>5131001
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5131001
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>5131001
>>5131020Oh thank god.
>>5130767>"My vision fades to black">Doesn't realize his eyes roll back into his head>CochraneQM goes ahegao without noticing>He goes ahegao while writing updates
>>5131461>tfw he's literally looking at his own brain through the holes for the optic nerve>he's got a whole ass projector and whiteboard in there
>>5130767One of my pals is like that. He said he sometimes focuses so he could try to improve it even more. He also has lucid dreams. He said he has some checks he does to see if he's dreaming.Told me to try doing stuff like that to see if I got better results. That was a few months ago. Square zero still. He would probably have better luck teaching the ancient celts how to build a nuke than teach me how to improve the inner image.>>5131461
>>5131020Clutch. Have we had any 0/3 failures rolled so far?
>>5132179I think a few times in the past when we got jumped while using FTL, one time we were fighting aims, and something else?
>>5130753You let out a sigh, place one hand against your hip and use the other to scratch your head. Something you've seen the captain do to reflect open and honest frustration. "...I am... a contestant. Can i not... just watch from... the waiting area?""You're not a contestant for these matches, though..."Ourg drops her feet down off the counter and looks around, even peeking her head out the side door to look down the hallway behind her."Ah, fuck it." She declares. "Registrations are over for the week, nobody's coming through here. Come on, there should be a few gladiator matches going on right now."Ourg stands up, and now that you're right next to her it's hard not to notice how far she towers over you. She might even be taller than the Captain, which is quite a feat."...You enjoy... the gladiatorial matches...?" You ask as you follow behind her."Yeah. A lot of the events we hold here are just... too tame. But these, i like. I even take part, on occasion. Can't do it too often though, or people wouldn't sign up.""...You are... too strong?""Mmm. I guess. People just think i'm scary, though. I'm surprised you even wanted to talk to me.""...Because i know... many strong people.""Ah, that's right. You said something about being taught by a master of some kind, didn't you? What's he like?">I would rather not say. He is a very private man.>He's a very kind man. He took us in and cares for us like family.>He's both intelligent and wise. It's as if the world has borne all it's secrets to him.>He is absolutely ruthless. His strength is monstrous, his desire for vengeance against those who had wronged him barely restrained.>Write-in?
>>5132448>Write-in?>all of above
>>5132461+1 yeah, that pretty much sums up David. Also I want to QM to suffer and write all of that.
>>5132461+1 Sorry boss, time to write all of it
>>5132540If you oversell David then Ourg will just scoff and dismiss the idea as some weirdo being weird.
>>5132461+1You brought this upon yourself QM. Suffer.
>>5132612but is it overselling when its the truth?
>>5132448>Write-in: He was... a soldier... by trade... but unique.
>>5132635When someone doesn't know it's the truth? Yeah it can come off that way. It sounds like overselling is what I'm saying.
>>5132448"He's a veteran of conflicts on his homeworld, and works as a bounty hunter now. Very ruthless when he's been wronged, but eager to protect his allies.
>>5132448>He was... a soldier... by trade... but unique.>Supposedly... his native planet was... considerably more... hazardous than most.
>>5132461supportDavid is utterly insane
>>5132461supportWe have to spread the gospel on David and all humans.Ome more step closer to recognition as the apex predators of the galaxy.
>>5132448"He is..."You stop, as you actually have to think about this for a moment. Your captain isn't a simple man by any means."He is... complex." You answer."What do you mean by that?" Ourg asks."There are... times when he kills. Times when... he spares. He is wise... a great wisdom gained through... many experiences. He is intelligent. Overwhelming knowledge... from a lifetime of study.He is kind... to his allies. Ruthless... to his enemies. His strength... is boundless. Exceeding... the supposed limits... of flesh and bone. And his desire for vengeance... runs very deep, against those... who have wronged him.""He sounds... dangerous, to say the least. Assuming you're not just bullshitting me.""I have... no reason to lie about that.""I might like to meet him sometime. Tell him to pop in if he's ever on the station.""Very well... but... what is your interest... in my master?""Well, he sounds like he's got it all figured out, you know? I enjoy talking with people like that. Sparring with them. Maybe i could learn something.""You could. He knows... many combat arts. None of us... are a match for him.""Who's "us" exactly? Sis said you might be some kind of monk or something, but i don't know anything about that.""Our group... is small. Varied... in race. But he treats us... as family. Cares deeply... risks his own life... for our sakes.""...Family, huh? I've only ever had my sister, and we don't get along all that well. I guess i don't really know what that's like."You're about to say something, but you stop as you come up to your destination. On the other side of this door is a waiting room for the contestants, and on the other side of that are the arena doors.The waiting room itself is fitted with both windows and monitors for viewing."Well, it looks like the matches are still going on." Ourg informs you.Indeed they are. And what you see is quite interesting.Baal is out there, wielding her iron club. She's panting heavily, and is covered in light scratches that... although it's difficult to see against her skin, appear to be weeping red blood. Real, red blood, just like your Captain's.She doesn't have just one opponent, but three. Two of them are canids, while the third is avian. They are completely nude, save for the collars around their necks. Slaves, you recognize.The avian isn't doing much. It's mostly the two canids putting in work.One of them is extremely fast, while the other appears to be extremely strong. The fast one dances around Baal, putting light cuts across her skin with his claws as he goes.Baal can't do much about that though, because she's currently engaged with the other one. She swings her club at him, but he actually redirects it with the palm of his hand before closing in and gut-punching her.Surprisingly, Baal's large frame is lifted clear off the ground and the blow seems to stun her temporarily."Looks like sis is letting off steam again. Always a crowd-pleaser, that girl."
>>5134246Neato, space alien monks. Does it have a cloaca?
>>5134246space shaolins! There's ought to be someone out there practicing the panzer kunst from mars
>>5134246If we get Baal closer to us and/or she becomes a regular character here, how do we reveal "Clark's" true identity without pissing her off since we cheated using a TPE-encased killer droid? Arrange Clark to die in an 'freak accident' and hold a funeral for him? And then we introduce her to Clank. Kek it would be funny to make Clank deliver an eulogy for himself
>>5134541her or anybody off* It will be a bad look for us and we might get blacklisted from any business with the underground in the future, the pissed off locals will talk and word will spread quickly.
>>5134541Fuck I mistyped. Ourg, Baal, more like anyone lmao. The tall deerwife might also get pissed lol
>>5134541its easier to just have clank wrestle against david again while she watches
>>5134246The fast one tries to take advantage of Baal's stunned state to get in a heavy blow, but that was a mistake.Baal's expression twists. She suddenly twists around the man's attack, thrusting her open palm out to grab him by the face...Her muscles bulge as she slams the man headfirst into the ground, kicking up a pall of sand as the arena reverberates with a dull thud.In the next moment, she throws the man's limp body over her shoulder, sending him flying through the air. "LOBO, NO!" The other canid wails. The avian watches on in horror as the remaining canid charges Baal, doing his best to strike out at her.However, Baal slips past the man's heavy punches before grabbing one of his arms... only to be lifted off her feet and slammed against the ground by the very arm she had grabbed.That might have knocked the wind out of her, had the arena floor not been covered with sand. Instead, she rolls out of the way as the canid slams his fist down where her head had been, intent on finishing her.Baal pops back up to her feet and immediately charges at the man, swinging her club at him. He blocks with both arms, but is still sent flying quite a distance. He slides across the sand for a while before rolling to a stop.When he gets back up to his feet, you see that his right arm has been torn off... or rather, it was shattered. It seems this man had a prosthetic, but now it's little more than a stump with some sparking wires hanging out the end.The man struggles to stand, seemingly having been concussed by the force of the blow. Baal grins madly as she walks up to him at a leisurely pace, raising her club up to rest across her shoulder.Unbeknownst to her, the other canid, "Lobo" has finally clambered to his feet, and is charging at her from behind. He slams into her from behind, nearly knocking her forwards as he wraps his arm around her neck to choke her.She immediately begins trying to shake him off, but he's making a good effort to hang on, wrapping his legs around her torso quite firmly."LUPU, NOW! HURRY!" He yells.The injured canid rushes at Baal as well, winding up a massive haymaker that he buried straight into her solar plexus, winding her.As Baal doubles over, he slams a powerful uppercut directly into her lowered jaw, snapping her head and neck back upwards.However, that's as far as he gets. Baal drops her club and grabs Lobo with both hands, ripping him off her back and slamming him into Lupu.With both Lupu and Lobo lying flat across the ground, they're completely at her mercy. She lets go of Lobo's arms and casually walks around the back of the pile. Then, she stomps down on Lobo's leg, shattering it in much the same manner she destroyed Lupu's arm.The two canids are panting heavily from pain and exhaustion, while Baal seems significantly less tired. However, a telltale trickle of blood from the corner of her mouth indicates that her win didn't come freely.
Are these canids as tall as our Davy? Those dogs must've been in a decent weight class to knock the wind out of the she-oni.
>>5136394Didn't David meet these two dog guys only hours earlier? How do you fuck up your life this bad in a single day?
>>5136616It's been a couple days.
>>5136496>>5136616True, then again consider that all this fighting is still going on in 0.3 G.
>>5136616Every self respecting author needs a jobber or two just to show off the new character's strenght
>>5136394However, once she wipes that trickle of blood away, it's as if she hadn't taken a single hit. In fact, she looks more refreshed than anything. She's even smiling.But there's still one opponent left in the ring, and she doesn't seem to have forgotten that. As she walks towards the avian she walks right past her club as well, leaving it where it fell in the sand."Uh oh. This is bad..." Ourg comments.You notice that Baal's panting has become heavier even after having a moment to breathe, but it seems different somehow."Is she... drooling?" You ask.Baal slowly walks up to the terrified avian slave, who's legs nearly fold under him as she approaches.She smiles wide, revealing the characteristic canines of a carnivore. Baal is a meat-eater."Sis, stop!" Ourg yells through the open arena doors, but Baal ignores her, her eyes locked on her prey.Baal grabs the avian man by his throat, lifting him up into the air with a single arm. The avian grabs at her hand with both arms and tries to pry himself free, but doesn't have the strength to do so.She grabs one of his arms with her free hand and pulls it out to the side, perhaps a bit too hard. You think you can hear his shoulder breaking from here, but you definitely hear his screaming.Ourg sprints out into the open arena as Baal leans in towards the avian's bicep, teeth flashing."Goddamnit, Baal! Stop! STOP! THAT'S ENOUGH!"As she reaches her, Ourg places her arm across Baal's sternum to block her, and pushes the Avian away with her other hand. The look of sheer rage that flashes across Baal's face is surprising, but it quickly softens as her focus is directed away from her prey and towards her sister's face.She tosses the avian, who by now has nearly passed out both from the pain and having his windpipe restricted. He lands with a thud and slides to a stop in the sand.The arena is filled with a raucous of boos and jeering. Some even throw garbage into the arena, but none of it actually gets very far. The audience here appears to be quite bloodthirsty.Now that she's snapped out of it, Baal seems profoundly tired. She leans on Ourg for support as they walk out of the arena and back towards the waiting area.In Baal's place, the reptilian man you had seen working with her before appears with a microphone and apologizes for the interruption before announcing Baal as the winner. He then moves straight on to announcing the next match.One of the contestants sitting in the room with you, a large humanoid with smooth, greasy-looking skin stands up and walks out as his name is called, just before the sisters make it back inside.Ourg lays Baal down gently into one of the chairs nearby. Baal closes her eyes and begins rubbing her temples as soon as she sits down."Sis, are you alright? ...I told you not to fight tonight, you know.""Shut it, Ourg. I don't want to hear it.""You need to hear it anyways. Look, i know you've been under a lot of stress lately, but...""BUT WHAT?!"
>>5137907>"BUT WHAT?!"what what in the butt
>>5137907>But it's not okay to eat sentient creaturesIs this Clank's in to bring 2 cute oni girls home and serve them Dodo?
>>5137907Is...is she going to try and offload her on David to give her a better outlet for violence?
>>5137955How the fuck do you just know that exists somewhere?
>>5137982There are no original stories in the world, anon. Based on that premise he knew there was something somewhere he just had to find it.
>>5138007>There are no original stories in the world, anon.This is the statement of failed authors everywhere. Truly quitter and loser talk.
Time to give these sexy lady's the bird.
>>5137907>>"BUT WHAT?!"she might be huge but she's still a bitch
>>5138077Bruh, it's just a fact by virtue of the nature of stories and the way we can reduce them down into component parts.
>>5138643All that sounds like to me is the coping of a broken lad. And that's all I will treat it as.
>>5138779Reveal your favorite original story, so anons can tear it down into its constituent mythemes.
>>5139317Oh but I can't. Don't you know? There ARE no original stories. Anon himself said so. I daresay the first time an ape smeared its feces on a rock was already derivative.
>>5139346>Reveal an original story then>N-no, I can't b-because anon said soDamn, I had no idea I possessed this sort of hidden power
>>5139346But anon is right, original stories are, maybe not impossible but hard to come up with. Almost every story has tropes that can be found in a lot of different stories, trying to avoid the trope is just another trope in itself. It's almost impossible to come up with something new, but that doesn't mean you can't create engaging or even beautiful story with right execution of an idea behind it.
>>5139378You're welcome for revealing this ability to you. Use it well.>>5139384And it is still diminution to state that there are no original ideas. It's basically the punching down of the literary or even art world in general. Plenty of people out there put in tons of effort and come up with thrilling things. And then along comes a "critic" who claims it is "just another work".Is it a true statement in a vacuum? Absolutely. It's also steeped in derision. As if the statement exists just to suck the joy out of things.
>>5137907"...Sis, you need to eat."Baal covers her face with one hand as she crumples over in her chair, shaking slightly."I know..." She replies faintly. Even her voice is shaking.What would your captain do in a situation like this?"Just... give me a little while. I'll find something." Ourg whispers, leaning in to hug her sister.Baal chuckles lightly."Ball-mouse stew again?""Maybe. But it's better than nothing."Baal bites her lower lip. It seems like she's holding back tears.The mood is rather awkward. Even the other contestants are all looking anywhere but at her, now.>Offer them some of the captain's cooking>Ask them why they can't get by on nutrient paste>Don't say anything
>>5139673>>Offer them some of the captain's cookingLet's go dodo!
>>5139673>Offer them some of the captain's cooking>"It is very nutrient dense.You will find it delicious."
>>5139673>>Offer them some of the captain's cooking
>>5139673>Offer them some of the captain's cookingeat shit dave lmao
>>5139673>tell them we might be able to help, but our master is very busy at the moment.Take our our PDA and send a message to the captain asking him if he would like to share his culinary skills with two very strong female aliens who run the underground arm wrestling competition.OP what did we agree on in terms of betting, and you forgot your trips.>>5139679>>5139680We should probably get David's permission first.
>>5139686You voted to take everything you could this time.
>>5139673>tell them we might be able to help, but our master is very busy at the moment.anons, don't be dicks, at least let david know before inviting literal unknowns to eat the crew's food
>>5139673>>>Offer them some of the captain's cookingThe way it's phrased sounds fun. Imagine clank talking like an asthmatic mouthbreather and avoiding eye contact"The captain's meat... is very... nutritious"
>>5139673>Offer them some of the captain's cooking
>>5139728that sounds gay my guy not gonna
>>5139755liefuck I need sleep
>>5139686Are you seriously telling me a Marine infantryman's gonna say no to a pair of fit chicks coming over for a BBQ? Not in this galaxy or any other.
>>5139768Only an engineer or a married man would say no.
>>5139774Army Corps of Engineers maybe, the Seabees would already have a smoker and a tiki deck on caissons built for just such an occasion.
>>5139768its still fucking rude to take out food (or bring guests) unannounced
>>5139839Unless the guests in question are hotties, then it's a nice surprise for your bro.
>>5139846definitely a nice surprise, but that's still rude
>>5139855I dunno, pirate ship etiquette seems to suggest that drinking the last of the rum or shitting in someone's bunk would definitely considered rude, but insisting that we make reservations before bringing hoes back to the boat for grub and grog just seems a bit much.
>>5139673>Offer them some of the captain's cookingI'm not gonna say that Clank's women totally mog Dave's gobbo gf...no actually that's exactly what I'm gonna say
>>5139673The bird is the word!
>>5139673Call David and see if he'd be willing to help out.
>>5139673>Offer them some of the captain's cookingLike David would say no to cooking up a proper meal for two gigantic oni women.
Have you guys fucked any of the aliens yet?
>>5140541Yes. My players just barely weren't fags. I'm so proud of them.
>>5140546>fuck QMWe are going to fuck you too.
>>5140546If I had my way, Every alien would've been fucked already but they fear the BHC
>>5140546>barely weren't fagsOh come on none of us wanted to fuck Sanig or Gildur.
>>5140546Fuck you, gobbo is shit tier waifu. Catgirl or blue oni for life
>>5140570I would if I could. I crave the alien peen.
>>5140585Look out guys, this fag is way too confident.
>>5139774Married or engineers still would. They're a fairly rare breed and the discipline to get to that point generally results in either interesting people or those with a giant stick up their ass.And if they're willing to come over to a stranger's place, that stick probably isn't there.
>>5140570I don't fuck twinks.Wake me up when Gron is on the table.I'd love to penetrate him good and hard, repeatedly. If you know what I mean.
>>5140642Is this the weapon from All You Need is Kill ?Well, not like the concept or shape is originally from that light novel
>>5140570Sanig doesn't have a penis, you dummy
>>5140787Well I'm not looking to know because I'm not a fag.
>>5140851Agreed, we've had a grey on the boat for almost a half-dozen threads and have thus far managed to avoid a buttload of anal probe jokes, so please let's keep this shitty streak alive. Greys not gays, mmkay?
>>5139673"Forgive me if... it seems rude..." You begin. "But, could it be that... you need something proper to eat...?"Ourg looks back at you, but Baal only glances your way for a moment before covering her eyes. She seems ashamed."My master's cooking... is quite good. Meat... eggs... milk... "bread"... those are his staples."Ourg gets much closer to you before whispering in your "ear"."...You have meat? Real meat, from an animal?""Yes. Although somewhat precious.... due to the limited space... on our ship. They breed quickly. I am certain... we could afford to slaughter... a bird for dinner.""...Alright, i understand." She mumbles. "Sis, let's go. We're... we're going to Clark's ship for dinner."Baal doesn't stand, and she refuses to look at you. Ourg has to pull her up out of her seat and drag her along.It's a long and quiet trip back to the ship, but when you get there the crew doesn't seem surprised to see you or your new friends.Kyla is the one to greet you at the door, absolutely covered from head to toe in sweat and grease."Hey, Cla- er, Clark! SHODAN told us you were coming. David's already working on dinner, so..."You notice Cylia looking at the two girls behind you from farther back in the hallway. She only holds her gaze for a moment before carrying on."Kyla! Is that Clark? Is he back?" You hear the captain yell from the kitchen.Kyla runs over to the kitchen door to talk with the captain, while you invite the two sisters inside."His ship is full of women after all..." Ourg mumbles."There are three females... and four males, actually." You reply.Ourg chuckles and grins slightly, but you notice her skin turning ever so slightly pale. She even shudders as she notices Gildur mopping something up in the medical room.As you approach the kitchen though, both Ourg and Baal stop in their tracks. They stop, and begin sniffing the air.And then Baal dashes towards the kitchen, slavering like a mad beast. You catch sight of her as she dives for whatever device the Captain has set up for cooking on... only to be swatted away before she can reach it."Hold on, little missy." He reprimands. "I know you're hungry, but uncooked meat is dangerous. Not only that, it's nowhere near as good until it's cooked, so sit down and wait like everyone else."Baal's breathing has immediately become harsh and labored. You don't think she can hear the captain's orders.And that proves to be correct as she jumps towards the meat once again.The Captain holds her back by placing his whole hand across her face and simply pushing her away, but her behavior is clearly beginning to annoy him."Hey, blue oni! Do you mind helping over here?! This grill is hot!" He shouts.Ourg immediately rushes over and grabs Baal under her arms, dragging her away. However, you can see that she too seems affected, and is struggling not to simply take her meat off the grill as it is.
>>5141183Oh man, I was worried David was gonna need to slap a bitch.
>>5141190Dont worry we are going to do that when she tries to eat before Praying to God.
>>5141190Don't worry, he'll be slapping them cheeks later but not at the dinner table
>>5141183Wait until they try medium-rare steaks in butter, delicious. I wonder if they'll be iffy eating 'undercooked meat'
>>5141201Hey, arent those goons that had been harrassing the tall deer guy's shop slaves in the oni twins's underground fight arena? >>5141183Did Cylia deal with the worm faggot yet? The deal was, we get rid of him, we get the home planet location for steak.
>>5141222When you switch back to david's perspective, you'll actually be going back in time from where we are now.Whatever happened with worm dude, hasn't happened yet. It's very wibbly, possibly wobbly and definitely timey wimey.
If we do pick up one or both of these chicks we're definitely going to need to expand the dodo breeding grounds. Somehow.
>>5141274Unlikely, she ship is getting cramped, and they have their buisness to run in this station.I would suggest we sell doodoo carcasses to them and the unfertilized eggs so we have repeat customers.
>>5141282>Thinking they'll ever leave after getting a taste of David's meat
>>5141282I did say "if" you know.
>>5141282David's meat is the most addicting thing in pace, they'll strap to the hull and follow if they have too.
But can they handle murraka cooking?
>>5141648i hate burgers like that. they should be wider, not taller
>>5141661If I have to unhinge my jaw like a snake to take a bite I ain't interested in eating it.
>>5141648That's not even a real burger.
>>5141672no shit, its a jpg
>>5141661I know a place that serves a yard diameter burger
>>5141691please tell me that they have a wall of honor for the people that manage to eat that thing on their own
>>5141695Yeah. It has about 30 people on it. Me included.
>>5141697Have men Died in the attempt?
>>5141792I didnt ask. I just saw, and ate.
>>5141661Literal currentyear normalfag take, unaware or uncaring that wider burgers will drop shit all over the place as well.
>>5141813>implying the taller burgers arent just as annoying or worse to eatim sorry you're incapable of shifting the buns to hold the burgers' innards again. didn't know such a simple solution would elude someone
>>5141813>>5141877Why can't both of you just eat relatively normal hamburgers if its that problematic?
>>5141933my only problem is with the stupid tall burgers
>>5141933>eating relatively normal hamburgers>instead of sliders you can take in one bite
>>5141877>>implyingC'mon, anon. I said "as well".
>>5141648This burger looks like bunch of mutated animals melded together.
>>5141813>>5141877>>5141949All you faggots, you absolute simpletons. The only real answer is smash burgers with no toppings, good meat, a bit of savory sauce and enough cheese to glue the things together long enough to slam down.
Borger is birgar. You eat berger, you feel American. Doesn't matter if it's tall or wide, it is simply bargur, simple as
>>5142124It's appalling to me how many people haven't had a proper American burger.I'm talking>toasted whole wheat buns>freshly ground lean beef patties>a proper cheese (cheddar, colby jack, or pepper jack cheese is preferred)>Caramelized onions>fresh romaine lettuce>maybe a fried egg (this is situational)>whatever condiments you feel like fucking up your burger with
>>5142284that's because most people aren't unitedstatians
>>5142288>that's because most people aren't unitedstatiansBreaks my heart I tell ya.
>>5142288>implies humans that aren't unitedstatians are peoplewhat did he mean by this?
Definitely no update today.I'm sorry, i'm having a bad time.
>>5142410It's cool man. Come back when you're ready.
>>5141190didn't he? technically it was her face that hit his palm
>>5142060I like that lolicon ero doujinshi. Shame the author decided to go for that bland nagatoro bullshit
>>5142410That's okay QM. There are more baad days than good days on average
>>5142410Take care boss
>>5141183Kyla assists with pushing Baal out into the hallway until the door can be closed, whereupon SHODAN seals the door shut remotely.As the door slams shut, Baal breaks free and smashes her face against the glass porthole. One of her horns actually penetrates the thin metal, creating a hole that will have to be patched for safety purposes."I'm sorry..." Ourg apologizes. "It's... really difficult to control our urges. My sister has always had trouble with it, but especially now...""Huh? What do you mean?" Kyla asks. "What's going on?""About two years ago, a new director took power and changed the regulations. The sale of meat on this station has been outlawed completely, making it difficult to find at all." She explains."So it's sale is banned on the station... why not import it?" Kyla wonders."Meat fit for consumption is already hard to find, but even if you imported it they would confiscate it as soon as you tried to collect. It can pass through on it's way to other stations, but it can't leave the containers. We tried.""Mmm... what about raising your own animals for slaughter? Like our dodos?"Ourg snorts."Yeah, we're not the only meat-eaters on the station. Even if we had the space and money for it, they'd be stolen before long.""...Okay. Why are you still here, then? If it's this bad..." Kyla points to Baal, who barely even seems sentient at this point as she digs her nails into the sheet metal door."...There's a few reasons. I don't want to get into it, sorry. Ah, i'm Ourg, by the way.""Kyla! Nice to meet you."Although Kyla is reaching up and Ourg is reaching down, Ourg still ends up having to bend over at the waist to properly shake Kyla's hand. Their height difference is significant."My sister's name is Baal. Normally she'd greet you, but... the smell is uh... oh, gods."You don't actually have a sense of smell yourself, but you've been told that the smell of your captain's cooking can be quite pleasant, and that it often "fills the ship" as they've put it.It seems that the smell has "filled" the hallway as well, although it can no longer leak through with the door being closed. Ourg sniffs at the air and almost immediately drool begins to drip from her mouth."Are... you two alright? I mean, i know it smells amazing, but..."Ourg snaps herself out of it and wipes the drool from her mouth. She backs away from the door until her back is against the wall of the hallway."Y-Yeah, we're fine. We just have a little problem, is all..."Kyla tilts her head, expecting her to elaborate. Ourg seems hesitant, but eventually relents as the silence begins to get awkward."Most meat-eaters, you know, they can get by on nutrient paste. Right?""Right. Not that it's any good, but...""But, there's something wrong with us. We don't just crave meat, we need it. Like you need water and oxygen. Normal plant protein won't do, and that's what the paste printer uses.""Oh."Kyla again glances at Baal's slavering form.
>>5143297well you can't just call someone an oni and not expect it not eat meat
>>5143329I like how David just casually calls them oni knowing full well no one else is gonna get it.
>>5143612Watch them ask him later how he knew their ancient name of their race.
>>5143612Everyone except SHODAN.
Is it possible to make an oni cum from rubbing its horns?
>>5143777We can find out.
>>5143777>>5143791They are erogenous zones in manga, but these are space oni. Who knows.
>>5143794Sooooo, horns and their tongues then?
>>5143802Having a tongue as an erogenous zone sounds like a pain in the ass. Imagine having an orgasm because someone snuck pop rocks into your granola bar or something.
>>5143923>Imagine them thinking they'd have that problem with such shit space foodDavid's cooking is going to cause a Food Wars moment real damn soon.
>>5143952It already did. But that's not what I'm getting at. The tactile sensations are what stimulate erogenous zones. Something like rubbing your tongue on your teeth giving you sexual pleasure. Or swishing mouth wash around. Absolute pain in the fucking ass.
>>5143962Well, they are Oni, being space hedonists would be rather typical. Fight Club and shit food is a good cope, at least until they get David's meat. Then they become addicts and won't leave.
>>5143962Maybe it would be something like trying to tickle yourself, having someone else do the stimulating makes all the difference
https://youtu.be/k1BneeJTDcUWhat's do you guys think will happen when SHODAN sees the internet of humanity?
>>5144966Probably go renegade in some wayAll in the air as to the outcome of that. But she'll be assigned with us til then at least
>>5144966>sees ancient GLADOS smut and other robot porn imagesshe would feel no strong feelings more than the other not because she has no strong opinions but rather she felt equally strong on both of them due to how chaotic internet can beshe is going to be fine
>>5143297"Heh, i bet i could fix that." Sanig interjects, exiting the cargo bay."Wait, really?" Ourg asks. She turns to look at the source of the unfamiliar voice, but freezes in shock when her eyes meet his."What's the matter, babe? Like what you see?" Sanig teases."BASTARD!"Ourg charges Sanig seemingly out of nowhere. But before she can reach him, Sanig draws his sidearm and fires, hitting her squarely in the chest.Thick tendrils of electricity roll down her body and arc out to the surrounding metal, causing the hallway's lights to flicker. Ourg immediately seizes up and and falls backwards, her metallic armor smoking slightly at the impact point.She hasn't even hit the ground before Captain Rockefeller kicks the kitchen door open, tearing it out of it's housing and sending it flying. Unfortunately for Baal, she was still pressed up against it and is sent flying into the wall as well.Baal is knocked unconscious from the sudden impact, while Ourg is seemingly still just barely conscious, but only has the strength to writhe around on the floor."What happened?!" The Captain demands."The blue girl charged me, so i gave her a charge. Heh. Say, what do you think of this? Not bad, huh?"Sanig holds up the weapon he'd just used. It's red and chrome design is odd-looking to say the least, but more than that your sensors have trouble fully discerning it, as if it's surrounded by some intense electromagnetic field.The captain sighs and rubs his temples."Yeah, that's great, Sanig. Alright... Kyla, can you get me the handcuffs? The ones i made, not the shitty ones."It's not long before the whole shit has assembled to see what's going on. As the captain wrenches Baal's hands behind her back and cuffs her, Ourg begins to regain her lucidity."Greys... sons of bitches..." She mutters, sitting up slowly.The captain notices Ourg sitting up, and moves to handcuff her as well. However, he only gets one cuff on her before she realizes what's happening and starts fighting back. But she's no match for your captain's strength in this state.Your captain wraps his arm around her throat and places pressure on the major veins and arteries leading to her brain, cutting off the flow of blood and sending her almost immediately into unconsciousness. After that, he quickly gets her cuffed."Okay... Gildur, Cylia, can you drag these two into the cargo bay? I need to finish cooking, so i'll be in to deal with them in about ten minutes. Get some cuffs on their feet while you're in there.""Aye, Captain!" Gildur responds with a salute. Cylia just scoffs at him and grabs Ourg under her arms to drag her off, with a bit of effort.The captain sighs out as he relaxes, and gets back to cooking as if nothing had happened. While he's busy with that, you pick up the caved-in kitchen door and stick it in the nanofab for repairs.While you're repairing the door, Ourg wakes up once again. Despite the rough treatment, she seems nearly uninjured.
>>5145082Gildur really is a good cabin boy, still, I wonder why they tried to jump gramps.
>>5145083Maybe some genophage-like business?
>>5145083Wholesome giant hamster lad, we're probably paying him more than he got before.
>>5145083He's a grayylian, they don't have a good rep in general. Could be she recognized him personally, or more likely, she had a previous bad encounter with another grayy.
>>5145197I always see him as looking more like ALF.Gotta watch him around Cylia
>>5144966just shrug and call it average
>>5145083around greys watch yourselves. Who knows how many entire races and planets they genetically toyed with. >It's not long before the whole shit has assembledHeh
>>5144966She will malfuction from the sheer volume and retardation that comes from it.
I like how David reacted. In mild shows or movies this would have lead to a scene where someone says "oh no this is so wrong. You are so uncomprehending and racist, david & sanig
>>5145530what kind of tv shows are you watching?
>>5145530dude, you should stop watching shitty TV, or shows that don't have psychopaths as MCs
>>5145530>watching tv nowadays
>>5145530Found someone from an alternate dimension.Looks like the mandela effect got this foreigner, boys.
>>5145801what's an anime
>>5145801I don't understand how ellipses lead to an articulate and mobile being but I shall take your word for it, wise one.
>>5145821something something brazil huehue br brCAMPEÃO NUMERO UM!!!
>>5145929Ordem e Pau Grosso never forgetti
in a obligatory topic I read a new double deck hentai manga recently. that one monster hunter parody with a futa girlnow thanks to that I cant sleep tonight because of that living onahole that appeared at the start haunts me everytime I fucking come herethere wasn't any point to bring this up other than saying QM please no
>>5145082Both her and her sister have been cuffed by their hands and feet to a metal utility pole with their arms behind their backs.Ourg awakens to find herself already standing, and seems confused for a moment until she tries to move.She cranes her head to try and look at what's binding her and sees both you and Sanig sitting at your workstations across the room from eachother.Sanig charges a lever on his... phaser? pistol? He charges a lever on the side of it, and an empty metal cartridge is ejected from the back. It seems his designs are beginning to take after the Captain's technology somewhat.Upon seeing Sanig, Ourg immediately stands and tries to break her bindings and attack him. But those cuffs were designed by the captain to restrain humans, or anything else. So her efforts are fruitless. In fact, the metal simply cuts into her wrists, causing her to bleed. She eventually gives up on trying to escape, and simply hangs her head solemnly. Her hair covers her face, and you can't see what sort of expression she's making."...So it was a trap, huh?" She asks quietly."There was... no trap. You attacked... Sanig first." You reply, stating the facts."HE'S A FUCKING GREY!" She screams. She jerks forwards again as she yells, causing the pole to clang loudly and reverberate throughout the ship."DO HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THOSE BASTARDS DID TO US?!" You hear the sound of stressing metal as she pulls even harder against the pole."WHAT THEY DID TO THE OTHER CHILDREN IN THAT FACILITY?! FOR YEARS!"You can actually see the pole bending out of shape. She's starting to pull out the bolts holding it in place at either end.Her head is raised now, and you can see her face clearly. Tears are rolling down her cheeks, but her face shows nothing but anger. Hatred, even.Sanig stands up and walks over to her, getting dangerously close to the enraged woman. He's basically right in front of her face."And what does that have to do with me, lady?" He asks sincerely."YOU'RE ONE OF THEM! YOU DID THIS TO US!""I've lived for a very long time, but i've never had the misfortune of meeting you before. Tell me, when exactly did i do anything to you? Not someone else. Me. The man standing before you.""I... I know what your kind are like. You're all the same. Heartless monsters who burned out your own emotions... You'd do anything as long as it suited you."Sanig scoffs and turns away from her."Yeah, maybe you're right. That's they are anymore, aren't they.""...They?"Sanig turns back to look at her again before answering."Like i said, i've lived for a very long time. Don't you think for an instant that i'm the same as them."After saying his piece, Sanig takes his leave, walking off rather slowly. He almost looks older than usual, you feel."Tch... son of a bitch..."Without the source of her rage present, Ourg slides back down the pole and sits next to her sister, who's still unconscious."...What'd you do to her? She's out cold."
>>5146360>"...What'd you do to her? She's out cold."Lmfao was she the one David kicked through the door, or choked out?
>>5146413the door one
>>5146360A rapid application of blunt force to render her unconscious. Consider yourself lucky; The Captain has killed for less.
>>5146360> I think the door hit her
>>5146360The captain accidentally hit her when he kicked down his steel door.This happens sometimes.
>>5146360>>"...What'd you do to her? She's out cold."Well if she didn't slobber all over the door she wouldn't have gotten knocked out, sheesh.
>>5146463I love our sarcasm bot.
>>5146623But it isnt sarcasm
>>5146529Heh, checks out
>>5146966that's the best kind of sarcasm
>>5146360"The captain is... a man of action. When you made a commotion... he reacted.""...What does that mean?""He kicked the... kitchen door open.""Oh.""Do not worry. We will give her a... medical nanite injection later... for her concussion."Ourg falls silent for a while, and in that time you finish re-forming the door. You'll need to take apart the door frame as well, in order to repair all the warped panels and torn seals. It'll take at least half an hour, you expect.As you pick up the door to bring it back out, you notice Ourg shifting slightly as she sits there, watching you. She must be attempting to escape."Do not bother. The captain does not use... electronic locks on the devices... he creates. He says they are... untrustworthy.""Tch."You pass by the captain as you're exiting the cargo bay, and he gives you a nod. You continue on to finish your work on the kitchen door.>PERSPECTIVE SWITCH: DAVIDYour name is David Rockefeller, and you currently have two unfamiliar women on your ship, at least one of which is a troublemaker.The first thing you notice as you enter the room is that the utility pole they've been cuffed to is badly bent. Blue Oni over here nearly pulled it right out of the floor.The second thing you notice is a small electronic device sticking out from under her fingernail. She hasn't noticed you yet, but as soon as you clear your throat the device retracts into her finger, and her nail itself flips down like a little lid to cover it."So, what are you? Cyborg? Hopped up on drugs maybe? Or just some freak of nature like me?" You ask."I got nothing to say to some bastard with a grey on his crew."Ah, is that what this is?"Sorry, but i wasn't asking. First question, is your problem with Sanig specifically?"You walk around in front of her, and she stares you dead in the eye with no fear whatsoever. There's only a mix of hatred and sadness behind those pretty yellow eyes."Fuck off." She spits."Come on now, don't be like that. You see what kind of situation you're in right now, don't you?""We've been through way worse, and we'll get through this too."Hmm? She's a fighter, for sure. No fear. Got a fire in her belly. She'd make a good soldier.Now that you look more closely, you can't help but notice the horns on their heads. They look almost exactly the same color as their skin, but a closer look shows a seam around the base.You reach out and gently rub one of the red oni's horns between your fingers, and find that it's as hard as a cow's horn at the very least. However, if it's made out of keratin, it's extremely smooth and shiny considering. Do they polish them?"Don't you FUCKING touch her!" The blue oni snaps."Ah, sorry, sorry. I was just a bit curious. I wasn't being... improper, was i? Hard to tell with other species, what's no good to touch or not..."The blue oni looks at you, confused for a moment. But she seems to catch on quickly, her face flushed purple from embarrassment.
>>5147433>Accidentally hit on Oni girl>Oni girl confirms horns are for lewdYessss
>>5147433Let's feed them first, they made trouble but David might've done something similar in their position and it's the best way to get her to lower her guard. Then while we feed them we should explain how the Greys kidnapped us as in this very ship and yeeted us an unknown distance from our homeworld with no record to backtrace. We're certainly not friends with The Greys, just a Grey.
>>5147491I'm gonna have to ask you to leave
>>5147491The answer is yes. But you already knew that.
>>5147491If I weren't rangebanned from posting images, I would have posted a very hurtful reaction image.
>>5147450thats a fucking retarded evolutionary trait
>>5147673Could be a cultural thing.
>everybody thinking Ourg's reaction confirms that oni horns are erogenous despite David confirming they're the same as cow hornsI think she blushed at David's implication more than anything else.
>>5147433Let's give her a QRD on how we became captain and how we met Sanig, to see if she'll chill out.
>>5147718>>5147667>>5147510>>5147496>>5147494Screencap for posterity. Sorry lads for the eye-burning shitpost, got nostalgic from my horsefucker days almost 9 years ago. My apologies. And holy shit time flew by fast.
>>5147742Disregarding taste, it was effective for farming (You)s.
>>5147744Yeah, I thought mlp is so old that people no longer cared about it, or got desensitized. But still, in retrospect, that post was still disgusting even to me kek. Only started watching that show back then because my nieces would make me watch it
>>5147675that's still very much so retarded. horns are used to stab and ram things. having them be sensitive to anything defeats their sole purpose
>>5147751Your containment board is this way. >>>/mlp/
>>5147783Everything is retarded. Lingerie is erotic and shouldn't be shown in public but a fucking microsling bikini you can nearly split atoms with it's so thin? Yeah sure that's acceptable.Culture is retarded from the outside. Women wearing burkas in non-islamic nations? Wack. Women showing their knees in islamic nations? WACK. It's all goofy shit. There are also animals with horn like structures that are expressly not for combative means and exist solely to say "I have a big dick please fuck me". Biology is retarded too. Same shit happens with plumage that is actively detrimental to have, but they still got it to get chicks wet.
>>5147815anon, its just easier to say that sensitive horns turns you on
>>5147820They don't. Why don't you just say they don't turn you on? What's the point of this song and dance? You can express your opinions but not I?I'm just saying that's a weird take is all.
>>5147815I am crab and I have BIG PINCER now fuck me. Oh, what is that? the larger the PINCER the harder time I have trying to feed myself? Who cares, let's FUCK
>>5147433"What the hell?! No! It's a horn you retard, it's just a horn!" She exclaims."Ho? So it's not... how you say... sensitive?" You reply with a big grin."Of course not, you friggin' pervert! Gods damnit, i should have known better than coming here! I'm such an idiot!"It looks like panic might actually be starting to set in just a bit. Poor girl."Calm down, i'm just joking." You tell her.You pull a hypo-stim out of your pocket, loaded with a tube of liquid containing silvery glitter. After giving it a flick to disperse the particles, you lean down and inject it into the red oni's arm."What's that? What'd you inject her with?""Mechanites, nanites, nanomachines... whatever you want to call them. For her concussion. Sorry about that, by the way. I didn't know she was pressed up against the door."The blue oni doesn't respond. She just watches her sister's reaction carefully.The red oni begins stirring almost immediately and wakes up in under a minute. The first thing she does is groan loudly."Sis? Are you alright? How are you feeling?" The blue oni asks."Oh gods, my head... feels like i was hit by a runaway hovercart..." The blue oni sighs in relief."Wait, what? Why are we chained up?! What happened?!""Your sister here attacked one of my men.""He was a grey! They have a grey on their crew, Baal!"Baal's eyes widen and she shares a knowing look with her sister.She immediately tries to break her cuffs, but finds herself unable to do so."Hey, chill out. Yes, Sanig is a grey, but he's not a bad guy. Regardless, i shouldn't have to explain that you're not allowed to attack my men for any reason, so keep it in your pants while you're on my ship.""In our pants...? What the hell is this guy talking about?" Baal mutters.The blue oni's face flushes again. "Pervert..." She mutters."Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Now listen, my friend "Clark" liked you enough to bring you here, so i'm going to assume you're not complete assholes. Do you think you can stay calm for long enough to get through a meal?"The oni sisters glance at each other, then back to you. They seem unsure... probably as to whether they even want to eat here or not, anymore."Look.." You offer. "I know you hate Sanig just for existing, but that doesn't mean we can't break bread. And i promise, the food will be good. Gildur! Bring it in!"Gildur enters the room with a plate full of barbecued dodo, complete with a smoky, caramelized fruit sauce and a side of mashed "potatoes" and baked, buttered vegetables.As soon as the smell hits their noses, both of them look like dogs fixated on a piece of steak being waved in front of their faces.Baal's reaction is particularly bad, as she tries to go for the plate despite being chained up. The pole they're cuffed to bends even further than before, and she's making a mess of the floor with all that drool."This... it doesn't... w-we.." The blue oni struggles with her words trying to reject you. She's clearly starving.
>>5149369>I'll let the two of you eat in here. Gildur will feed you, and we can talk afterwards.>All you have to do is stay calm, and we can eat at the table like civilized adults.>Maybe it's best if you two eat at home... or at least outside of the ship. I don't want you attacking Sanig again.
>>5149370>>All you have to do is stay calm, and we can eat at the table like civilized adults.
>>5149369>All you have to do is stay calm, and we can eat at the table like civilized adults.
>>5149370>All you have to do is stay calm, and we can eat at the table like civilized adults.
>>5149370>All you have to do is stay calm, and we can eat at the table like civilized adults.Jeez, we were gonna get abducted and probed by the greys too, but they dont see us hating all greys. Sanig is a cool chill grandpa who knows what's up.Can we get them to apologize to Sanig for trying to maul him? If they're gonna act like kids, might as well treat them like one.
>>5149385There's probably something about species wide meddling or intense genetic rape-play going on in there. >inb4 the girls used to be green and they are deeply racist so they're turbo butthurt
>>5149370>>All you have to do is stay calm, and we can eat at the table like civilized adults.>>5149385>Can we get them to apologize to Sanig for trying to maul him?i dont think they might do it if we ask/force them to, but they probably will on their own later on
>>5149370Blue oni be like>You might have my body but you'll never win my heart!
>>5149370>>All you have to do is stay calm, and we can eat at the table like civilized adults.Make the point that we evaluate people on individual an individual basis and that we too were attacked by greys at first. Plus it should be fairly obvious Sanig is an anomaly from the rest of his race from the start simply because he's on a ship living with completely different races.
>>5149567>you come into my ship>wanting to eat my food>break my stuff>start shit with one of my crew members>suck my dick>call me gay
>>5149567and he has body hair
>>5149369They can sit at the table with everyone else if they think they can avoid strangling Sanig, but put David and Cylia/Clank next to them to make sure they can't try anything funny.
>>5149370Wait Cochrane what about the fucking thingie under their nails? I do not want any surprise bullshit coming to our ship. If we're giving them anything, then need to be truthful about what they were planning.
>>5149994It's a multitool, a sort of miniaturized bionic implant.She was trying to unlock her cuffs by crudely poking at it with electric shocks and magnetic fields, but that doesn't work on a physical lock.
>>5149997Okay that's pretty fucking cool. Bionics and implants are still on the list of many things we need to figure out so we can make them on the cheap.
>>5149999Not unless we can build bionics that can out-compete our glorious human physique
>>5150002thats surprisingly simple. replace muscle with those silicon ones, or replace our bones with titanium and that gives you a shitton of advantage against a normal person
>>5150008Honestly you don't need to replace the muscle. Muscle fibers themselves are outrageously strong at what they do. Replacing the bones is fine, as strong as they are and their ability to recover even stronger is great but it'll almost never be as strong as high grade metals so that's an upgrade.What you really want to do is replace the connective tissues which bind muscles to bones. If the muscles were incapable of tearing themselves from the bone you'd be able to exert way more force. It's a lot harder to tear the muscle half way than it is to tear the connective tissues.
>>5150012>Muscle fibers themselves are outrageously strong at what they do.here's the thing though. unless you manage to get instant results instead of training for years at the gym, synthetic muscle is way better in 99% of the cases.
>>5150024But David already has mondo gym hours. Synthetic muscle specifically tends to be not very good anyway. Being outperformed almost universally by other mechanical means. You'd be better off putting pistons in your arms than synthetic muscle bundles.I mean if you're gonna go mechanicus you might as well go full THE FLESH IS WEAK.
>>5150002Even if we can't make bionics that are at least a then as good as David's bod, giving those out to wounded veterans would make them able soldiers once again, not to mention earning us a great deal of respect from them, and the public.>>5150008Now we're cooking. I don't think our brainstorming will somehow give David an epiphany on how to make Human grade bionics, cybernetics, cyberware, or whatever you want to call it but it is fun ti discuss. We've already made some points on this subject in the past threads.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9XLw_cNwV88https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-11qJMHemchttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sk1NkWl_W2YArtificial muscles, fucking around with animal brains, prosthetics reacting the muscles and nerves on a limb stump, or implanted directed into the bone. We know that there is some potential to exploit from the universal brains translator.Thread #7>5086953Just put a regular human prosthetic and skinsuit on top. It should be able to interpret the motion of the remaining limb and express it on the rest of if. Or at least that is what I hope for.About implants and prosthetics, it seems that the magic-space technology to interface the brain with the wire is there, understanding what our translator does. This means we should be able to make a small computer and jam it in the stump of the leg or arm right at the end of the atrophied nerves.And speaking of atrophied nerves, there is the issue that parts of the brain that are not being used fucking DIE. That means that the portion of the anterior gyrus (and the posterior one for feeling) that controls the missing limb is degrading as we speak. I had a picture of a huge degradation in the occipital right lobe, because the patient's left eye was missing.>5086959>picture of internally smoothified brain>5086964here is another one. Neurology is a very interesting field. About computers to ENHANCE humans, I think a computer that increases the precision of movement is in order. The prefrontal cortex is in charge of planning and executing movement (among other planning and executions) so it allows you to move coordinately. The mere act of lifting a sack takes a looooot of coordination.Have you ever noticed how is your brain able to calculate throw a pebble and hit the mark? I don't think you are doing math to calculate the force and angle needed. So, what I propose is a small computer that acts as an enhanced cerebellum + secondary motor cortex in order to have even better coordination. One little chip and now you have the same accuracy as an experienced shooter, for example. Imagine how good an experienced shooter would get with this chipThere's more somewhere but I don't know where to look.>>5150024I guess that makes David the 1%. Oh yeah we can try cloning tissue in a lab or something.
>>5150026A combination of both can work. Internal mechanical components to be the bulk of how the prosthetic works, while the exterior is covered by synthetic muscles. While the synth muscles might provide additional toque strength, it's mostly for aesthetic purposes which is important.Somewhere down the line, we might discover how to make biowares (replacement limbs or entire bodies that are overall just better, and made of flesh), but replacement mechanical limbs seems like the easier solution. For now.
>>5150026who ever said this is for david? and i only said synthetic muscles to humor this post>>5150002
>>5150036>biowaresThis is my ideal. A lot of the time when people talk about cybernetics and stuff they immediately go into replacement rather than enhancement. Instead of replacing bone with titanium alloy rods you just needs to use directed atomic manipulation to make the structure of the bone more ordered and compact. The difference between diamond and coal after all is just the atomic structure. Instead of putting some oil in the veins you just slap some nanomachines in there to enhance the blood's capacity for oxygenation. That would just flat out improve every single aspect of your biology. Instead of putting cables instead of muscles you twist them and fit more side by side. Like how a rope is stronger than a loose bundle of threads despite having the same amount of material. You don't need to chop your hand off and put a terminator replica on it. You can just take the biological machine that we are and make it better. >>5150037Ah, my bad I just assumed.
>>5150036>>5150037woah woah wtf is happening? David aint gonna replace his muscles with synth shit
>>5150036>Somewhere down the line, we might discover how to make biowaresthe tech is already there. there are 3D printers for flesh in the stations' hospitals, we already have a crazy engineer and in theory the skinsuits we have could serve as the basis for that
>>5150041>A lot of the time when people talk about cybernetics and stuff they immediately go into replacement rather than enhancement.I think it's because it's debatably harder to enhance someone with bio-/organic implants rather than forged ones since the body is a bitch to tame.>Instead of replacing bone with titanium alloy rods you just needs to use directed atomic manipulation to make the structure of the bone more ordered and compact.I think Cochrane or an anon from Thread 7 (the one anon that talked about putting a brain in a full body prosthetic and skinsuit) said replacing all or a majority of your bones is a big no no, because you need the bone juice in your bones to live. Plus it's really fucky to deal with a living body, and you would need to run some probably less than ethical experiments to see if you can do what you suggested. . . .or you just clone some bodies and experiment on those. Here's some idea I found from Shadowrun 5E.>Bone Lacing (Cyberware)>Your bones are laced with lattice chains of reinforcing plastics or metals, improving their integrity and tensile strength (and adding to your body’s overall weight). Bone lacing comes in three types: plastic, aluminum, and titanium—you can only have one installed at a time. It gives you extra Body for resisting physical damage, a little Armor (cumulative with other Armor, without adding to Encumbrance), and changes your unarmed combat damage, all listed in the Bone Lacing table. Bone lacing is incompatible with other augmentations that add to or alter your bones (such as bone density augmentation).The point I'm trying to make, the body is a bitch to work with, you got cool ideas, but I can't see them being put to use within the decade in quest. Half a decade? We won't see it put into practice and mass produced soon. Ish.I forgot my points. fml.>You don't need to chop your hand off and put a terminator replica on it. You can just take the biological machine that we are and make it better.How's a war veteran going to chop off his legs if he lost both in a war? Nah no nadda, you're missing the big idea. Stick machine bits on war vets with no meat bits. They walk and do things again. They very happy. They like us lots because they can walk or masterbate with either hands now.>>5150048Quote who said replacing David's T H I C C M E A T homie, I'm not seeing anything.>>5150052In earth Circa 2014? Sign me the fuck on and spoon feed me. Less talking about cool shit, more providing articles so I can feed my autism.
>>5150052No, fuck me I misread your postage. I don't remember the 3D printed flesh. What thread was that? Was that when we visited Grandpa?>we already have a crazy engineerKyla's more into mechanical stuff than meat stuff, and Sanig likes his weapons. I'm surprised our gang of misfits smashed enough ideas together to make skin suits, not that I'll complain about it.>and in theory the skinsuits we have could serve as the basis for thatYou make a fairly good point there partner.
>>5150064>What thread was that? Was that when we visited Grandpa?yeah, the doctor said that they were printing the grafts for grandpa airbag
>>5150041>You can just take the biological machine that we are and make it better.i get the sentiment, but this anon basically nailed it down >>5150024>You'd be better off putting pistons in your arms than synthetic muscle bundles.a human body is good, great even, but machines have way more advantages than a body and less hassle as well
>>5150065Add it to the dumptruck list. Yes, we've upgraded from the bucketlist, because god damn we've a lot of things to go through.Cyberware or bioware, either will work. Whichever is the cheapest and easier to mass produce for our PMC.
>>5150074i still believe that opening a restaurant in any of the stations would make us stupid rich stupid fast, even if we just serve veggie food
>>5150060You can totally put bone marrow into not bone things. You'd just need pretty regular transplants if it doesn't reproduce. As long as you can get the juice through the bones it isn't too much of a problem though. That's why you need to be careful with bones. They still need to be porous. What is time before scientists with no moral compass and a really big budget? We've seen just how quickly unethical science can jump the medical scene. Real shit scientists with sociopathy are fucking terrifying. But yeah I get that. I just like spitballing.As for the vets, yeah. If you ain't got the parts slap on some that you can make. It's not as convenient to maintain as regular meatparts but if you just don't have them to begin with you might as well put a pilebunker/can-opener/harmonia/hand on the stump of your forearm.>>5150073Machines come with their own bevy of headaches. As much as people like to dump on flesh it is by its very nature very efficient and effective for the most part. It has to be, or you'd die a lot more. The best thing about staying meaty is that just having good healthy meals and bed rest can fix just about any physical injury that isn't immediately fatal. And you don't need a screwdriver if your bits get a little stiff.
>>5150078>The best thing about staying meaty is that just having good healthy meals and bed rest can fix just about any physical injury that isn't immediately fatal. And you don't need a screwdriver if your bits get a little stiff.yeah, can't really argue with that
>>5150077You and me bro, you and me.Hey, here's an idea for you. Once we gain partial control of Xebric station, we can open up a few restaurants on station, and a separate hab-block/station/sector that raises the Doodoos. Full on fancy ass shit we'll charge at most three figures for, while we keep things affordable for the mid and lower class people living in station so they don't need to be charged a limb and a leg to afford basic good stuffs. The farms will produce the animals for the slaughterhouse, the dedicated slaughter house can pick and clean the doodoo's of their individual components, and the slaughterhouse will send those bits to meat markets (owned by us or sold to smaller venders) or restaurants.Should we consider selling live or fertilized Doodoo eggs, or not do that so we can keep a major monopoly on doodoos for a little while longer until someone manages to smuggle doodoos our of our control?>>5150078If you think it'll work then sure, your words vs. OP's, or another anons. Just make it work. I want implants on my table before next Monday!If bio-implants were cheaper than mechanical ones I think we would be seeing more of those more often (call back to when David wrestled the shit out of those augmented aliens) then again, maybe I'm wrong. How can we tell if aliens are bio-augmented, or just look freakin weird by default? I could had sworn David once walked through a slum with some xenos lookin motherfuckers sporting shitty cyberwares.>The best thing about staying meatyDon't forget about sex>bio enhanced dogs the size of tigers when
>>5150085I feel like the gross vegaliens would make a stink about slughterhouses and domestication of the birbs. Of course you could probably get them to fuck off by just shouting at them really hard. At the same time they'd probably be really confused how the scary meat eaters know how to make their precious fruits and vegetables so much tastier.Uh, if you want your table to have tits I know a guy.Bio stuff seems to be rather limited to simply growing back missing bits rather than going full mad doctor. I'm sure there are soldiers or "uplifted" creatures out there that have biological enhancements though. Gene tuning and the like. What the hell is sex? Does it go good with toast?>Man's best friend just got even bester! Buy now and get a second seven-hundred pound play-pal free!
>>5150088Just yell at all the carnivores and herbivores, call them all faggots. Omnivores reign supreme.Hell yeah table tits, a far cry from the mouse pads with tits or asses on them.Whatever works, I just hope we'll have enough money in the future for all our experiments. Yes.>If you buy our Doggy insurance, we'll include a set or reinforced jaws and razor teeth free!>Subdermal doggo armor now 10% off>>5149369While Clark is here and after the onis leave, can we modify Clank's costume to be more tolerant to electrical hazards now that we know what he might have to deal with later on? To improve his odds of survival and success?
>>5150085>Should we consider selling live or fertilized Doodoo eggs, or not do that so we can keep a major monopoly on doodoos for a little while longer until someone manages to smuggle doodoos our of our control?nah, those (and the location of the dodo planet) stay a top secret. those things are delicious and even though we're gonna chop'em up, we don't want to overexploit their population
>>5150094Remember the black smith guy and his daughter? Remember how we gave them fertilized eggs? Remember what the onis just told us about the meat laws on this planet? I hope those tall elk alien smiths eat those eggs today, or are really good at raising doodoos in secret.
>>5150096one thing is giving them to one or two people that we can trade useful favors(and is within their interests to not let anyone know about the dodos) and another is to sell them to anyone that asks
>>5150077>>5150088Should we think of menu items for our theoretical restaurants in the future?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWGVFi-213w>>5150097All I'm saying is I hope they don't get caught and in trouble for the meats.
>>5149369You pause for a moment, looking them over while you decide whether you really want to deal with this bullshit or not.Well, they're clank's friends... you guess. So it can't be helped. "Look... All you have to do is stay calm, and we can eat at the table like civilized adults. Can you do that for me? Please?" You ask.The blue oni glances between you and the plate of food, then hesitantly agrees by nodding her head."Alright, great. Now uh... about your sister, though..."Baal, the red oni, clearly isn't all there right now. You doubt she even heard what you said, so it'd be best to just let her eat first."Gildur. Set the plate on the floor and step out of the room, please. I'm going to let this one loose first, so she can get something on her stomach.""Y-Yes, captain..." Gildur stutters. He's clearly terrified of the slavering beast in front of him, but at least he's managed not to piss his pants. He practically runs out of the room after setting the plate down.You walk around the other side of the utility pole and take the cuff keys out of your pocket, then pull back on Baal's collar so you can actually get them open.As soon as she's free, you let go of her collar and she falls forwards, positioned directly above the plate of food. To your surprise, she doesn't immediately dig in. Instead, she seems almost dumbfounded for some reason.Slowly, she reaches out towards the plate and grabs the edge of it, as if confirming that it's actually real. Well, of course it is. Next, she runs the pad of her pointer finger across the surface of the grilled dodo, accumulating it's juices along with a bit of the fruity BBQ sauce.Her arms tremble as she turns her hand over and stares at the fat on her finger, and then slowly places it into her mouth. Then she stops.She stops moving entirely. Stops trembling, even stops breathing for a moment, you think.Her eyes close as she savors the flavor, placing both palms back against the floor and letting her head hang low.A few moments pass in silence, and then she sits up, crossing her legs to sit indian style in front of her plate.With far more grace and civility than you ever expected, she quietly picks up the dodo leg and begins biting into it.There is no growling, grunting or moaning. You're not even sure if she likes it at first, but as you walk back around and see the tears running down her face, you're certain that satisfied with her food.The wild look is gone from the blue oni's eyes as well while she watches her sister eat. She isn't angry or jealous, nor is she demanding a plate of her own. She just seems happy that her sister is happy."...Is it good?" You ask.Baal sniffles a bit, then nods in affirmation. You hear a faint "Mhm..." through her chewing."Alright. Let's get your cuffs off as well, miss... ah, what's your name again?""...Ourg. My name is Ourg, and my sister's name is Baal.""Right. Nice to meet you. My name's David. Captain David Rockefeller."
>>5150373Huuh, this, wasn't what I expected. Maybe Dodo has a calming effect? BBQ sauce is a downer? Or the food reminds her of home? I want to give them hugs now.
>>5150373You're welcome? Is she good and ready to take her plate to the table? She can have a second helping if she apologizes to Sanig, she could take it home even if she wants to eat it later. Old dude likes his guns and violence but hes a nice guy.>>5150378Don't make things awkward with a hug, let her savor this moment while she polishes off her plate.If I had to guess it's mostly David's cooking prowess, and the general lack of love and care put into space faring food.The use of properly marinated meat and the slight use of MSG probably helped too.
>>5150378i bet she's enjoying and savoring the meal. i mean, from what clank heard, most of the time they eat insect soup; a meal like this is something they haven't had in years
>>5150425Sad to see such fine women living in the pod and eating the bug. Many such cases.
>>5150378Well it seems they have a physiological need for meat. It stands to reason that she's suffering what is essentially either a withdrawal or a wonky form of malnutrition.
>>5150603We need to find out how to make Mac&Cheese and add about 1-2 pounds of meat to it.
>>5150614you literally can just throw some canned chicken in there
>>5150633what the fuck is wrong with you. You dont do that for guests only yourself.
>>5150633>canned chicken>canned meatsPlease, don't. I might puke.
>>5150633What the fuck did you just say to me you little bitch? Get that shit out of here, get out of my fucking thread.
>>5150656How does this make you feel.Corned beef is the shit fite me.Put it inna crockpot with red cabbage Tates and sum green apples.
>>5150736I'll do you one better. Picrelated was my weapon of choice on deployment.
>>5150743Crispy thin strips are god tier for breakfast yo. Spam and eggs is where it's at.
>>5150745I'd just add it to everything for a bit of protein and "flavor". Ship food can get really bland and top ramen can only do so much.
>>5150748So I always wondered. Can you fish offa big boats like that? Did you ever catch anything?
>>5150750Nah not really. Modern warships stop fairly rarely and usually only for specific reasons. I'm sure there are some small boat crews that have caught fish off of them but I never saw it done on a carrier.
>>5150736>>5150743Canned Chicken is depression, but cornee beef and Spam are S tier canned foods.
>>5150753Surrounded by the ocean but can't fish. Jesus Christ how horrible.
>>5150753Are there any neat Rations you guys in the navy eat? What's it like working on a boat? I heard you need vitamin D pills and it's stressful.>>5150373Is our collective autism potent enough to create Advanced Prosthetics yet?
>>5150869food can vary from ship to ship but we're usually served "cooked" "fresh" food most of the time. Keep in mind that all supplies are always the cheapest the government can get. The creme de la creme is pic related. Chicken cordon bleu AKA a hamster. People will do anything for those little bastards. Also, the ship will usually bust out steak and lobster when they're about to drop some bad news to the crew like extending a deployment or cancelling a port visit.Working on a ship and how much stress you get depends a lot on what you do and what the ship is doing. A culinary specialist will always be busy unless the ship is in port. Where as an Electronics Technician usually only responds to trouble calls underway but will get slammed with maintenance in port. A lot of it depends on what your ship is doing. An FDNF carrier is going to have a lot higher op-tempo than say a minesweeper off the east coast.I've only heard of vitamin D pills for submarine sailors. Surface vessels afford you plenty of opportunity to get some sunlight.
>>5150884Is it true what they say about Sailors from the navy being gay, or is that just a military joke?The Hamster look pretty cook, like a reverse cheese corndog. Do you ever get to make yourself dishes, or get Mac ' cheesies?
>>5150896We do have out gay sailors nowadays what with the repeal of don't ask don't tell in 2011 but you can say that about any branch.We ham it up in front of other branches for a giggle now and then but I will say that the only branch I've seen get straight up homosexual with each-other while calling you a faggot is the marines. They take the whole gay chicken thing a bit too far.Also, usually all of the ship's meals are prepared by the supply department. I have seen people get access to the onboard facilities but you have to know somebody to pull that off. Although there is nothing to stop you from bringing your own food/ingredients/snacks onboard so long as you can find a place to store them. I would keep a supply of spices, ramen, spam and other things for when I didn't have time to grab regular chow.
>>5150907Do you restock you own personal supply of foods stuffs every time you guys dock? Do you have a Strategy for grocery shopping in other countries?
>>5150918Most people are concerned with hitting up the bars and strip clubs first thing whenever we hit a port. My first stop was usually the closest grocery store or supermarket and then the nearest bar.By the way, might I ask why you appear to be so interested in these topics?
>>5150919beats having to deal with the shitposting in /k/, that board used to be so much comfier
>>5150919I also love hearing other people's experiences. Not just deployment stories, but anything /k/ related or just fucked up stories in general. If anyone else wants to tell them here, feel free. It might even get worked into the story, who knows.
>>5150919I know of some people who are in the marines, but I dont ask much of the way of how their day to day life is like in the military. I know even less regarding the other branches, so I thought your occupation in the Navy sounded pretty cool.
>>5150928I like the deer fucker greens from /k/
>>5150932Me too anon
>>5150932I prefer wendigo wranglan' myself.Gotta get that wendussy.>>>/wsg/4346076
>>5150743know what I'd eat? Those goddamn buffalo chicken + cracker sandwich things. Those weren't all that good and I'd prob fart a ton afterward. But sometimes they were really the only protein available. That and those shredded tuna packets.
>>5150972God damn Fed waking up Timmy after the missus just put him to bed.>>5150998When I'm lazy I just cut my spam into 7-9 slices and lightly fry them, then eat with some steamed veggies and rice. When I'm marginally less lazy I like to make spam mac and cheese with some panko and hot sauce.
>>5150928>fucked up storiesI have some medical ones. The legit most horrible might be the one where the nurses in an ER I worked at brought a guy back after CP arrest but a resident had already declared him dead and a more interesting trauma had come in and they didn't want to deal with an old farmer who "just" had a heart attack and fall because they had already seen that story so many times before. I got chewed out for telling the nurses to initiate post arrest procedures to stabilize the guy. He re-died again in a few minutes because we weren't allowed to do anything to keep him with us.
>>5150938k is such an interesting place when literal faggots didn't take over and ruin it.>>5150919Keep going, its hard to find good military stories without someone related.
>>5150919Are you allowed to go fishing while underway? If I were in the navy I'll be bringing a few deep sea fishing rods and get my buds to do the same.
Took a bit of time to sleep. Lemme answer your questions,>>5150923Agreed. I usually just pop in to the meg threads these days and try to guide people going into the navy. Was excited when I found out about the SA-35 on there tho.>>5150928Glad to hear it QM. Unfortunately I'd have more stories to tell if I wasn't black out drunk for them. One thing I did learn firsthand in Singapore is that a bump of cocaine will basically bring a man back to life if he passes out drinking.>>5150931My occupation is actually pretty poggy even but then afain that's 98 percent of all people in the navy these days.>>5150998Shredded tuna packets are abused heavily by the /fit/ types underway. Although most US navy ships will have a ship's store of some sort on board. basically stocked up like a mini mart / uniform store and largely varies what it has based on where you are in the world.>>5151148Glad you like it but so far I've really only talked about the mundane everyday shit for sailors.>>5151186Again, it really depends on the ship you're on. Aircraft carrier no. Minesweeper maybe.
>>5151251Yeah, lot of people eating the tuna packets. But good good if they don't have any flavor to them. They taste like water n salt.
chores done, work done, kids napping, food cooked, freezer acquired, birthday had, meat beaten and all is wellupdate latemust sleeplove you allhave a sneak peek
>>5151631happy belated bday!
>>5150638>>5150656>>5150732Anything I would eat myself I would feed my guestsEspecially if they just tried to kill alien grampa. They get nothing better than what I would eat.
>>5150373Baal digs into her veggies reluctantly at first, but apparently having found them to her liking, she scarfs them down as well.Her plate cleaned, you beckon the both of them into the dining room, whereupon entering they appear rather sheepish. Quite a turnaround.Sanig had just finished ripping apart a hunk of grilled dodo with his teeth when they entered, and he gives Ourg a big, meaty smile as she faces him.Ourg turns away, refusing to look at them despite the cramped nature of your little dining area. Baal also appears uncomfortable, but seems to tolerate his presence more."Soooo, the twins decided to join us for lunch after all?" Sanig says."Yes, they have. So please don't antagonize them, i'd hate to have to break up another fight." You ask."You sure like giving me the hard work, don'cha kid?""Just eat your bird, old man.""Oh don't worry, that's one of the few benefits of being on this crew. Delicious..."After offering Ourg and Baal a seat each next to eachother, you sit down next to Kyla. You might as well, because she'll get up and move her plate over to wherever you sit.However, that also puts you right next to Cylia, which you think might also be intentional. She doesn't do it every time, but you have noticed lately that she seems to sit next to where she thinks you'll sit.Baal is eyeballing the rest of the dodo, which is currently piled up on the platter in the middle of the table. Ourg has her head down, but you can see the drool dripping down her chin. She hasn't eaten yet.Both of them feel too awkward to just start reaching across the table, so you go ahead and start plating some food for them."I don't know what you girls like, so just try a bit of everything. I know what the food is like out in space, so my cooking my be a bit weird for you at first... but i promise it's all edible."Baal pokes at some of the items on her plate, which is much fuller than the one Gildur brought. Boy doesn't have much of an appetite, you think."What's this...?" She asks, picking up a slice of toast between two fingers."That? It's milk bread. Normally on my home planet you'd make it out of wheat, but the grains out here kind of suck. So it's about half nutrient paste by weight, which is fine since it's slathered in butter and pan fried. Try it, the taste is actually pretty good.""What's butter...? And why is it blue..." She mumbles. However, her questions go out the window after taking her first bite. Her eyes widen like saucers as she bites into it, and she scarfs the slice down almost instantly."Mrph... mmm! It's... i don't know! It's all fluffy on the inside, and crispy on the outside, but it's greasy and savory! It's like it's been cooked in fat!" She exclaims."Well, yeah. Butter is made from milk, and... yeah, i guess technically milk contains animal proteins. Huh, can you get milk on this station? SHODAN?"
>>5151976"Yes, captain. It appears that Teraphid milk is a widely available product, commonly sold as a nutritional supplement for the frail.""Huh, ain't that something. Say, what sort of critter does this milk come from, anyways? I asked a few vendors, but nobody wanted to tell me."SHODAN displays something rather unpleasant for you on your wristwatch's projector, which you choose to cover up before anyone gets a good look at it."Okay, nevermind. Forget i even asked, really. Now then, buttered toast is great on it's own and all, but what it's really meant for is sandwiches. Check it out..."First you slather the bread with BBQ sauce, then layer the sliced dodo on with layers of rich, creamy mayo inbetween. A few slices of vegetables, then you add something special that you've been working on.Kyla, Cylia, Sanig and Gildur all turn their heads as you open up a big glass jar full of liquid and various vegetables."Oh god, it's something new. What's he done this time?" Cylia murmurs."It kinda stinks, but... i dunno, there's something about it..." Kyla comments.Sanig sniffs the air and raises his non-existent eyebrow. "Is that... acetic acid?" He asks, sounding genuinely curious."Why yes, it is! Leave it to a grey to know his chemistry.""And you soaked your food in that shit?" He asks."Wait, what? What's acetic acid? What did he do?" Cylia asks, sounding worried."It's... i mean, i know this is going to sound ridiculous, but it's rotten alcohol." He explains. "Before you even ask, yes. It's possible for alcohol to "go bad"... if you leave it in the open air on a death world. The bacteria there can survive in it, in small enough concentrations.""Yep! And the result is this. Vinegar! Perfect for making pickles." You announce with a grin."Boy, where amongst the stars exactly did you get the bacteria for-""AAAAAAAND HERE YOU GO! One chicken sandwich, with mayo and pickles!" You interrupt. Having sliced a few pickled vegetables, you place the slices on Baal's sandwich and close it up, offering it to her."Chicken? I thought you said this was "Dodo" or whatever..." Baal asks, looking at the sandwich tentatively."Eh, chicken, dodo, pidgeon... it's all bird meat."Baal seems hesitant, but after giving it a sniff she can't help taking a bite. It actually sounds delicious when she bites into it. The tearing of the bread, the juicy-sounding chicken, and then the crunch of the pickles as she chews... it's even making you hungry.But for the red-skinned woman, it's nothing short of heaven. She can't help but quiver as she savors the taste of your sandwich, which makes you quite proud. She took a pretty big second bite, but then had to slow down as it seemed to be a bit much for her.While you're admiring your handiwork, Ourg clears her throat to get your attention.Whoops... yeah, you kind of forgot about her, huh? She's basically shivering in her seat, trying to hold herself back. Time to build another sandwich.
>>5151976>>5151992Fucking hell David, looks like Guidar is gonna have to clean the seats again. The onis are practically leaking all over the floor.
>>5151992we're definitely setting up our space restaurant once we get control of xebric
>>5152032This. We need to set up an intergalactic restaurant
>>5152034>>5151976>>5151992Hmh. You know, having a McEatery chains from decent cooks would be something to consider. if it has such a massive impact on everyone we meet, cooks could rake in some nice revenue from highly dedicated clientele.And most cooks that I know can do both fast and non fasting meals - they should have in their repertoire at least a dozen completely vegetal recipes. They only get pissed by vegan activist and then they go full hog into the whole meat everywhere as a reaction.
>>5152057Would be great for laundering money or smuggling too.
>>5151992>"Before you even ask, yes. It's possible for alcohol to "go bad"... if you leave it in the open air on a death world. The bacteria there can survive in it, in small enough concentrations."Here's hoping our delicious preserved veggies don't kill someone.
>>5152096Just introduce them to salt & vinegar chips. It's advanced torture. Or advanced masochism. Depends on whether or not you like the taste.
>>5151992Alright, I'm saying it. Mayo is a trash condiment. Should've had mustard or hot sauce or something.
>>5152057This is what I'm hoping for. We can scoop up some Alabama dudes and gals with some culinary skills, preferably of the creative but reliably sports of cooking styles. BBQ, tossed salads, watered down human juice (with warning signs for eventual teeth decay from acidic citrus fruits and sugar), burger and sandwich makers, bakers. Oh god I love me some freshly baked bread, especially with something sweat or with my soup.>>5152070Oh uh we gonna do that? Should we?>>5152096While were in pickled vegetables, what's stopping David from fucking around and picking other space foods that closely resemble some earth dishes? Kim chi? Pickled space carrots and dijon for space viet sandwiches? Pickled garlic?What about those crazy pickled Cambodian drinks with the snakes or scorpions in them?
>>5152124Too each their own I suppose, but adding mayo to chicken pairs better than mustard than chicken, unless it's a honey mustard. I prefer mustard with my turkey or ham sandwiches.Mayo is pretty good in a chicken sandwich with some lettuce and pickles. Mmmm, not onions though. You gotta save your onions for the beef, or at least caramelize them if it's on anything but a burger patty.
>>5152124Mustard on a poultry sandwich? Kinda weird if you ask me. Hot sauce I get but plain ol mustard?
>>5152129>>5152132Honey mustard would be better with chicken, definitely. I just dislike mayo. Except chipotle mayo, it's okay.
Just caught up. Fun quest.
>>5151992>"It kinda stinks, but... i dunno, there's something about it..." Kyla comments.Considering how often she sleeps with her nose in David's balls I'm surprised she didn't catch the smell.
>>5152157Oh chipotle mayo is good, really good. I like that on many a things.
>>5152117Salt and vinegar kettle chips are hands down my favorite chip. I'd say it's closer to the latter. I don't think most aliens would enjoy mouth lacerations followed by salt and vinegar, except maybe the ones made of rock.
>>5152443We should make some for Kron and see if he likes it. If it goes well then we can start marketing that stuff to rock people.I like mines with salt, pepper, and vinegar.>>5151992Has David made chips and salsa yet? I'm feeling mexican.
>>5152459doesn't kron eats rocks or something like that?
>>5152459I've never tried adding additional flavors to my chips, other than dip.
>>5152459Pretty sure we tried our hand with a sweet potato equivalent as chips.
>>5152485He does, his mother makes limestone pies. Like literally out of limestone.>>5152502I think Kettle had a chop brand that had vinegar, salad, and pepper, or maybe it was just salt and pepper?>>5152509Sweet potatoes fries with garlic salt, or lightly sauteed with minced garlic and salt would be really good. Man Earth would probably become a Space civilization Foodies dream. We got your veggies, your meats, both, your rock candies, we could probably aerosol foods for those exotic aliens too if we wanted.
>>5152124Mayo on a peanut butter and banana sandwich makes it better
>>5152628the fuck. how does one compliment the other?
>>5152628You need to seek some help anon, specifically a therapist. Who hurt you?
>>5152628Not peanut butter and 0nion. Trash desu.
>>5152628Go tongue a garbage disposal.
>>5151992https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6117990/yes indeed, where amongst the stars did he get this bacteria. No, you don't have it inside your guts or under your nails
>>5153643...but kyla is a fungusthat being said, david probably got the acid from rotting space fruits and vegetables and not bacteria
For me, it's the McDodo. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McDodo sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige.One time I asked for McDodo sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDodo's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!".Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDodo's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs.I even dip my fries in McDodo sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant.
>>5152643>>5152665>>5152683>>5152694>>5152731>>5152886>>5152944>>5153269I was skeptical too, then I tried it. I didn't even like PB&B before the mayo.>>5152665My dad came up with the idea.>>5152643In as few words as I can break it down to:>PB is sweet/savory(pulverized peanuts, oil, salt/sugar)>banana is sweet>mayo is savory(egg/egg yolk, oil, salt(?))It rounds out the trifecta and helps stop the sandwich from gluing itself to your mouth. It's best when you put a thin layer on, you DO NOT want an equal amount to the peanut butter.
>>5153825>It's best when you put a thin layer on, you DO NOT want an equal amount to the peanut butter.ok, that makes way more sense now
>>5153783Thank you for the positive review for our resturant, PussySlayer6969!>>5153825That's fairer.
>>5153783>meanwhile on another station
>>5153825Just for the record: mayo banana sandwiches are a known thing in parts of the North Carolina area. I do not understand why they are a thing,
>>5153942Google says it's a holdover from the great depression.
>>5154092That I understand. What I do not understand is how engineers I know from the area make them for themselves and eat it.
>>5153942North Carolina also has the worst BBQ in the world, so it tracks.
>>5153927That's suck a durkwa mooment
Just a heads up, i got a bunch of people coming over today so the update will definitely be late today.
>>5154555Checked. have fun bro.
>>5154555Checked and kekked, go for it mang
>>5151992Ourg tears into her sandwich with similar fervor, and after seeing how they're made the sisters don't need help making their own.The dodos are quite large for a bird, bigger than a turkey even, so there's plenty of meat and everyone gets their fill... but despite that those two end up eating most of it. After about an hour of chowing down, which you enjoy yourself quite a bit by the way, Baal is the first to drop. Literally, she falls unconscious face-first into her dish.There's a bit of panic as you try to make sure she's alright, but it turns out she's just sleeping. Your first thought is that she's simply exhausted, and now that her needs have been sated the tension keeping her up was cut.But then Ourg passes out too, not even five minutes later. Once again, face-first into her plate. The girl's horn stabs into the plate and shatters it, so you have to carefully lift her head up and remove the shards so they don't cut her.Again, you think it must be the same thing, surely... until Cylia passes out. And then Kyla. Sanig nearly passes out as well, but before that happens he digs a single-use injector out of his bodysuit and stabs it into his own neck.Instantly, his eyes fly open and he shouts at the top of his lungs. "WHEEEEE-HOOOO! YEAH!! THAT SHIT NEVER GETS OLD!"He seems extremely jittery."You alright, gramps? What was that shit?" You ask."Haha! Hoo. It's an illegal stimulant. Wakes you right up, let me tell you, kid! Also raises your blood pressure and heart rate to dangerous levels, hence the illegality. Gonna have a headache later, but i'm not about to pass out until i figure out what this is...""Uh... huh. Okay, well.. i'm noticing that me and Gildur are the only ones still awake on our own.""Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see. David and Gildur. What do the two have in common? Ugly? Check. Hairy? Check. Strong? No, Gildur's a weakling. Drug resistance maybe? Drugs? Where, in the food? Can't be the bird, maybe the vegetables?""Woah, woah. Gramps, you're going a mile a minute there. Maybe just sit down and... stop breathing so hard?" "Sorry, kid. Can't help it. Blood, gimme blood. Need to run a few chemical analyses.""Can you even hold a vial without dropping it right now?" You wonder."C-Captain, what's going on?" Gildur asks, sounding worried. "A-Am i gonna... d-d-die?!""Maybe?" You admit with a shrug.Gildur whimpers and shrinks back into his seat.Sanig, without asking, grabs a syringe gun from the medical kit on the wall and stabs you in the arm with it, taking a vial of blood. He then quickly reloads the syringe gun and stabs everyone else in the room as well, including himself."Be right back! Right back, real quick in a jiffy. Basic scans, just a basic scan." He mutters quickly.Sanig flies out of the room, barely holding onto the handful of vials he collected while you're left rubbing your arm.>Check on everyone, make sure they're alright>Follow Sanig, see if you can help>Write-In?
>>5155282>>Check on everyone, make sure they're alrightThey got the itis. Oh lord.
>>5155282>Tell Gildur to watch everybody and to shout if they stop breathing>Tell SHODAN to run a scan of the ship's atmosphere>Follow Sanig, see if you can helpI have two ideas as to what this could be.1. L-Tryptophan. It's the compound in Turkeys that the brain turns to serotonin and causes drowsiness. It could be that the Dodos have something similar in their muscular tissue.2. This is just a really pronounced case of the Itis given how just about nobody on the crew besides David is used to eating such large meals.3. The fumes from the vinegar might be fucking with them somehow.
>>5155282>>Check on everyone, make sure they're alright
>>5155282>>Check on everyone, make sure they're alright>>5155298maybe its a food coma, but i doubt it. what about the vinegar and the pickled food? that's the new thing we made; it might be fucking with their biology
>>5155282The best thing we can do here is make sure everyone is still breathing. Did Gildur eat the pickles we made?
maybe they are getting some sort of alcoholic poisoning from the acetic acid? does anyone know what it does in high quantities?
>tfw you're eating straight toxic sludge like a bowl of porridge and everyone around you is dyingReal human hours.Damn though. The onis are not going to have a good image of David now though. knocks them out, cuffs them, feeds them effectively poison. First contact protocols are falling apart.
>>5155350This is a real durkwa moment
>>5155316Fug. Nobody tell our next crew how this one died from pickles.
>>5155350that is IF they survive. or remember the encounter
>>5155404Hey if they die we know our cooking is killer.I think it probably has to do with Gildur and David both being proper omnivores. Unless Gildur is not. In which case I will assume it has everything to do with having a functioning penis.
Gildur probably eats cats anyway, but... Did we even establish he was good with eating meat?Also Sanig having an actual Grey moment ayylmao
>>5155282Jesus, Sanig has Meth.>>5155298Sounds about right.
>>5155576>Jesus, Sanig has Meth.You don't?
>>5155576>>5155282Inb4 it's that old hfy trope where David finds out that not every creature can produce adrenaline or adrenaline-like substances on their own.>Check on everyone, make sure they're alright
>>5155317Yes. He loved them, actually. They were his favorite part of the meal.
>>5155282"SHODAN, can you run a quick scan on the ship's atmosphere and make sure there's nothing funky in the air?""Already complete, captain. I wasn't able to find anything odd, except the traces of smoke that escaped from your grill. Nothing of significance.""Alright. I'm pretty sure i already have an idea of what this might be, but i'll wait for Sanig to get back before i try to confirm it. Let's just make sure everyone keeps breathing for now. You hear that, Gildur?""Huh? Oh, yes! Aye captain!"For the next ten minutes, you and Gildur keep an eye on the crew and make sure they're okay. You aren't terribly worried, but you never know with alien biology.Still, you feel a little silly when you see them all slumped over, sleeping soundly with big, satisfied grins on their faces.Sanig returns quickly with his findings."Okay, okay, okay. Most readings were normal, right? But check it out, look at this."Sanig shows you a chart on his holopad, showing spikes of certain chemicals present in the crew's blood."Let me guess, serotonin?" You tell him."That- wait what? How the hell did you know?""Ah, i just figured. The effects are... more pronounced, for sure... but this sort of thing does happen when you eat a lot of eggs, meat or cheese. They contain the amino acid precursor for serotonin, which makes you feel happy, satisfied, relaxed, sleepy...""Seriously? Serotonin is a powerful neurotransmitter. I've never heard of such an effect from simply eating meat before."Sanig is left scratching his head."Well, when was the last time you ate this much meat?" You ask. "Even the carnivores on this station are literally starving themselves because they can't get what they need.""Yes, yes... certainly, it's not an abundant product. Still, i'm surprised it had this effect at all.""Well, i put eggs and cheese in everything now since that's all i've got to cook with. All i've got that's worth eating, anyways. Bread and vegetables are just filler for the real food, you know?""Yes, your ultra-high calorie diets are practically suicidal, i'm aware. The crew has resorted to taking fat-blockers in order to keep their figures, but the protein...""The protein?""I'm thankful you installed that earth toilet. The vacuum wouldn't be capable of handling it.""Oh. Protein shits, right. Ohhhh... with the fat-blockers too... god, i didn't even think about that. Oh man, you've got the olestra shits.""Olestra?""Ah, well, humans put fat in everything, right?" You explain."Yes. You even boil your food to a crisp in it on occasion.""Well, they were actually trying to make a calorie-dense food for babies, but... basically they forced sugar into fat, chemically, in an unnatural way. Humans can't digest it, so it's calorie-free fat.""I see where this is going." Sanig nods."Yeah, since we can't digest it... it comes out just like it went in. Which is fine, until you eat an entire family-sized bag of chips in a single sitting."
>>5155675Phhhhffffttt David you silly bastard
>>5155675Won't their smaller stomach capacities help them control their calorie intake better, or the food's just so delicious that they can't help but eat a fuckton?
>>5155675Also, time to tuck everyone to bed. Take out the rollable futons for the onis. It's sleepover time.
>>5155675>"Well, when was the last time you ate this much meat?" You ask.Thats actually a good question. haven't we eaten a similar amount of meat in the feasts we have don