Lover! Fighter! Interstellar delivery pilot! Only one man claims to do it all - Jake Starcrash!
[unearthly warbling music, singing accompaniment]"I've never seen anyone play the harpziban like that!""How does he know where to move the dial?""Years of practice, little lady!""What do you think, Krum?""I don't know why you guys like this stuff! It just sounds like noise to me.""Come on, Krum! Be polite to our paying passengers!""Don't sweat it, kid. No hard feelings. I've never met a Sporc who enjoyed music! They just don't have it in 'em!"
"Thanks again for giving us passage, Captain.""Happy to have you aboard, Ooliz. By the way, I revised our travel estimate. We should reach Port Argent in a little under a week. Hopefully Prim can get our robot in working order before we arrive.""You better hope so, or else gettin' all her luggage outta here is gonna be a ten-man job!""Sammy! I don't have that much luggage!""Well, goodnight!""Oh, Captain...""Hmmm?""It's probably nothing, but I can't find my hair dryer!""You got so much luggage piled up in here, it probably formed a black hole and ate it!""Sammy! I'm serious!""I'll ask the others if they've seen it.""Thank you, Captain. Good night!"
"I don't want to wait a week to get off the ship! You promised you'd take me to a real planet!""We're going to land on a planet in about sixty hours so you can stretch your legs. If it's nice enough, we might even have a picnic.""A real planet? What's it like? Does it have atmo?""I'll tell you all about it tomorrow.""What's it called? Does it have an ocean?""I'll tell you tomorrow. Right now, you need to-""Are there any people there? Prim, do you know what planet we're going to?""Come on, Ash, you need to get to sleep! Did you brush your teeth?""I can't find my hygiene wand.""That reminds me! I can't find my three-nineteenths magnetospanner!""With how crowded things are, I'm not surprised! They'll probably turn up after Sammy and Ooliz debark."
[muffled scream][snoring abruptly ends]"Huh? Wha-?"
"Jake! What's going on? I heard screaming!""It sounded like Ooliz!"
"Aiii-!""Ooliz! Sammy! What's wrong?""There's somethin' in the corner, kid! I saw it move!"[thumping noise]"I'll take a look-""Be careful, kid!"
"Get 'im!""What th- yaaah!"
"Fight 'im!""Bite 'im!""Kill 'im!""Yaaaaugh-!""Blood!""Kill 'im!""Kill 'im!""Aaaaugh! Krum, help me!""They're just asserting dominance! You shouldn't have made eye contact!""Get these little monsters off of me before they... AAAUGH!""Sorry Jake, I'm forbidden from interfering with newborn Sporcs!""Newborn?! You mean these things are your-"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>5113582Sing a lullaby with soothingly-violent lyrics. If these guys are newborns, they'll fall right to sleep!
Rolled 9 (1d12)>>5113582ASSERT DOMINANCE BACK, damn it! Pin 'em all to the ground and try not to think about how weird it looks doing this in our undiesAlso, welcome back, man! Was going through Lego Quest withdrawals something FIERCE!
"Captain! Try to-""Look out, kid! It's gonna-""Grab hold of the-""Jake, try singing a lullaby!"
"Jake!""Get 'im!""Kill 'im!"Uh... Late one night I went to the burner shed, 'cause I saw a baby Sporc and I was gonna shoot him dead!""Fight 'im!""Bite 'im!""Kill 'im!""So I loaded up my burner and I... uh... I shot him in the head, and the little bitty baby Sporc was good and cold and dead!"
[angry snoring]"Huh! It worked!""Jake! Watch out!"
"Fight 'em!""Kill 'em!""Yaaah! Here, Prim, hold this!""Wha-oof!"
"It's a little easier to deal with them two at a time!""Fight 'im!""Kill 'im!""I think you boys have had enough playtime for now!">Lock them in Ooliz's trunk>Teach them to be proper gentlesporcs>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>5113661>Think about what Krum would do, smash their little heads together
Rolled 8 (1d12)>>5113661>Teach them to be proper gentlesporcsLock a Sporc in a trunk and you'll be rid of them for a day. Teach a Sporc to be a GentleSporc and you'll be rid of them forever. Maybe.
Rolled 8 (1d12)>>5113661>>Teach them to be proper gentlesporcs
[angry cooing]"Jake, I think this one is waking up!""Hang on, Prim! There's only one way to get these boys to straighten up! I'll have to start speaking their language!"KLUNCH"Waaugh!""Waaugh!"
"Is it just me or did they get bigger?"[angry babbling]"I don't know, but this one is definitely waking up!"
"ATTEN-HUT! Alright, you runts, if you're going to serve on my ship then you're going to address me as Captain! Is that clear, crewmen?"
"Keep going, boys! Make sure you get every inch of the deckplates! We'll make spacers out of you before this is over!"[angry muttering]
"Rolz! Straighten up! Kruzt! Suck in that gut, mister! Lowf! That haircut of yours isn't regulation length! One more infraction like this and it's the brig for you!"[angry muttering]
[soft classical music in background]"Anyone? Lowf? Rolz? No? Kruzt, I know you can get this. Nobody wants to take a guess?"[angry muttering]
"This is your captain speaking! We are docked and cleared to depart for beautiful Verin-4."
"Wow! This planet is amazing! I never knew the sky could be this color!""Hold it, everybody! I don't want those little critters to get off the ship while we're not look-""You don't need to be concerned about us, Captain.""Huh?"
"My hair dryer!""My hygiene wand!""My magnetospanner!"[\i]"Yeah, and my ship's missing intake vent! Rolz! Kruzt! Lowf! You're... you're... what happened?""We appreciate your patronage, Captain. Now we must leave and make our way in the universe. This world will be a suitable start. Farewell, Captain."
"Krum! Your kids are about to take off!""So?""I thought you might want to say goodbye, now that they're grown up."
"Why? You pay me to guard you and lift crates, not socialize.">Respect Krum's lack of concern for his offspring>Encourage him to reach out to his childrenRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>5114018>Respect Krum's lack of concern for his offspringWhat a heartwarming and life-affirming scene this has been, really shows you the beauty of children and family....
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>5114018>Encourage him to at least wish them luck on defeating their foes and showing the galaxy the might and prowess of the glorious Sporc race.
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>5114018>>Encourage him to reach out to his children
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>5114018Backing this:>>5114025
"Did Krum get a chance to say goodbye to his sons before they left?""Forget about it, Prim. I already asked. Krum's not interested in talking to his kids. You'd think he would be eager to congratulate his sons for becoming such fine killing machines who will no doubt go on to terrorize this entire region of space. Buuuuuut... I guess he's more interested in guarding the Zephyr on a planet where the biggest danger is the farmers market running out of jellied emos. Speaking of which, we need to get some provisions for our picnic!"
"Do you know what a picnic is?""Well, sure! We used to have picnics all the time back on the farm! You take some food and carry it until we find a place out away from everything else, and then we sit down and eat it.""On the ground?""Usually we have a picnic blanket...""I have some spare fabric!"
"I swiped an armload of provisions before we left Sunrise.""We can use my basket to carry them!"
"I'll have... two of those... some of that... maybe a little more... do you have any jellied emos? You're all out? Only live emos... Well, why don't you give me one anyway. And how about... Krum, do you want anything?"
"Forget about me. I'm not interested in your picnic. I'll see you guys back at the ship.""Where are you going?""What does it matter? There's nothing you need me to be here for, right?""Uh... I guess not. We'll see you back aboard the Zephyr later, then. Uh, let's see... If Krum's not coming, you'd better give me one of those knives too, while you're at it. I think that'll be everything."
"Where's Krum going?""Seems like he wants to be alone right now. Come on, let's find a nice hill."
[laughter, music, conversation]"It's too bad Krum didn't come with us! I wonder what he's up to.""Oh, I wouldn't worry."
"If I know Krum..."
"...he's probably just sitting in his cabin cleaning his burner."Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever Krum does, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 9 (1d12)>>5115214Rolling to become aware of the giant pink tentacle stalking us and to blast it with our burner!
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>5115214Rolling to continue stalking some swamp creature and ignoring the tentacle behind our back.
what is this autism
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>5115214>>5115592Seconding this.
Rolled 9 (1d12)>>5115592Supporting.>>5116071Fun. That's what.
[wading noises]"'What do you think of this noise, Krum? Which type of food tastes good, Krum? Why don't you want to acknowledge your sons, Krum?'... Come on, where's something I can aim a burner at?"[wading noises stop]
FRRRZZZAAP"Yeah! I knew there was something good in this place!"
[burner drawing sfx]"What's the matter? Finally run out of protoplas- huh?"
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever Krum does, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>5116862Ignore the thing if it's no longer a threat and make an omelet.
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>5116912>>5116862support
Rolled 12 (1d12)>>5116862Take the eggs and smuggle them onboard, so that they can be hatched later and hunted during the long and boring space voyages.
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>5116912>>5117000We can do both, have a snack now and a hunt later.
[liquid squelching noises]"Seems like all the fight's gone out of ya. You think tickling me is gonna get in the way of my lunch?"
"Huh? They're all just empty shells?"
"So all your kids hatched and took off already... maybe I can find one of them while it's still small enough to fit in a-"[liquid squelching noises]"Hey, that's pretty good!">Try to communicate with it>Better kill it before it escapes>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever Krum does, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>5117722>Try to communicate with itTalk to the slime monster about our issues with sporcfatherhood, and reminince a bit about our own youth.
[liquid squelching noises]"Hey, what're you do-"
"...Oh... I can hear your thoughts... There were six others like you... they were the last of their kind... they traveled from all across the planet to be here... they each laid an egg and died afterward... your species requires six members to reproduce...all those eggs... merged to become you?"[liquid squelching noises]"...The eggs hatched just a few hours ago... you're practically a newborn..."
"Your parents were so devoted to making you, they traveled halfway across the planet to get here. You know how Sporcs reproduce? When you bleed hard enough you spread out spores that grow into new Sporcs, but you can only do it once. Back before we had spaceships and could spread out, the young Sporcs killed their fathers if they weren't already dead. You understand what I mean?"[liquid squelching noises]"I'm supposed to be dead. And I'm still here, doing what? Just hired muscle, serving on the same ship where I was born. My father was gone by the time I sprouted. I've got nothing to show for my life. My sons are the only things I've ever produced, and they might as well be strangers. Probably just as well. I wouldn't know how to raise another being even if I tried."[liquid squelching noises]"Huh?"
[liquid squelching noises continue]"That's not bad, but you need legs. Legs! These things. They hinge at the hips. We use them to walk."[liquid squelching noises]"Don't give me attitude! If you're going to imitate a humanoid, then do it right. I know you're smart enough. I've seen how good you are at this. Come on, just try your best."
"That's pretty good. Clean up your foot. Make sure they're the same size."[liquid squelching noises]"Of course the other humanoids are going to like you! Why wouldn't they like you? You're intelligent, and unique..."[liquid squelching noises]"I'm not just saying that. You're very advanced for your age."
"Something's missing... You need hair."[liquid squelching noises]"This. It comes out of your head."
[liquid squelching noises]"Not so much! You don't want to attract the wrong kind of attention."
"Pretty good. I can't believe you're the same little blob I shot with my burner a few minutes ago."[liquid squelching noises]"You look perfect. And face people when you're talking to them.">Take it back to the Zephyr>Take it hunting>Leave it here>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever Krum does, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
>>5117859>>Take it back to the Zephyr
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>5117859>>5117863
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>5117863And teach it how to shoot when we get there.
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>5117859>>5117863+1
Rolled 12 (1d12)>>5117859>Take it back to the Zephyr
"Wait until the others see you. They won't believe it!"[liquid squelching noises]"Oh sure, they're all nice humanoids. There's Jake, he's the captain, and Primrose, she's the mechanic, and there's Jake's daughter Ash-""Would you look at that!""Hold it, there's somebody out there..."
"Look at the size of those eggs!""I've seen this before. This is a Death Plasm nest. Looks fresh, too. Maybe half a day old.""A Death Plasm! I heard they were extinct!""I'd like to take one of those for a trophy jar!"
"Big-game hunters! They're packing ultraburners, you'd better h-""I say, you there! Sporc!"[liquid squelching noises]
"Have you seen any sign of a Death Plasm nearby? There's a nest beyond that ridge!""Uh... can't say I have. Good luck with your hunt, though.""I could have sworn I heard a sort of liquidy squelching noise around here somewhere-"
"Well, I guess it's about time we break out the main course!""Yum! Fresh emo!""If I knew this was gonna turn into a banquet I'd have packed my suit!"
"Prim, would you do the honors? You've had a lot more practice than me.""Oh, sure! It's easy, you just give it a good twist and-""Wait a second! You're not going to kill it, are you?"
"Ash, I bought this emo for us to eat here. I even bought that knife to gut it, too. Quite a markup. I don't even think it's handma-"
"I don't care how much you paid for it! You can't just kill it!""Ash...">Emos are designed to be eaten>We can release it into the wild>Pets are a big responsibilityRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>5120368>Emos are designed to be eatenAsh, it's a genetically modified animal cludged together from multiple donors, developed specifically for human consumption. If we release it, either it'll get eaten by other predators, or worse, it'll grow too large and alter the local ecosystem, either by eating local plants and/or animals until local species are pushed out, or by introducing new bacteria or viruses that they haven't developed antibodies to yet.
Rolled 12 (1d12)>>5120368>>Emos are designed to be eaten
Rolled 8 (1d12)>>5120361Looks like we'll teach our new friend how to hunt after all! We might even get some sweet burners out of it!
"...It's an extruded multicellular organism. It can't feel pain, or anything but hunger. They were designed to scavenge organic matter and convert it into protein that tastes good to humanoids. If we don't eat it, it'll just grow to the point where it'll start to bud more emos. They could turn this swamp into a desert if there were enough of them."
"It's good that you to feel concerned about other living creatures, but like Jake said, if we keep it alive we'll have to feed it so it won't be hungry, and if we feed it we'll have to deal with more emos. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want the Zephyr to be any more crowded!""I guess not... are you sure it can't feel anything?""Absolutely! I used to live on an emo ranch, and these things are about the dumbest lifeforms you'll ever see! They're even dumber than shreep.""If you don't want to watch, you don't have to.""It's okay, I want to know what happens.""Well, it's pretty easy once you do it a few times. Just put the point of your knife against the underside and-"
"-that's it! Ready to eat."
[loud chewing noises]
"Oof-!""Hey, what th-!""Death Plasm! Run for your lives!""It got Tepeson!"
"Wha-?""I don't see-""They must have been-""Wait, there's something out there!""I think it's..."
"It's Krum!""But who's that with him?"
"Krum! Sorry you missed the emo! Uh... who's your friend?""This is... it's a long story. After you guys left, I went into the forbidden zone to clear my head...""Hey fella, don't look now, but you better skip with the pleasantries-"
"Looks like somebody's gettin' the pitchforks!">Play it cool and walk through the crowd>Try to get it to assume a different form>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>5121412Try to have it assume a face that will pass as human while we head for the Zephyr. No Death Plasms here, slimy clothing is all the rage in New Jerusalem I heard.
"-and I said, 'that's a Death Plasm nest!'""And then there was this Sporc, and he said he hadn't seen anything, and then Tepeson and I headed back toward the nest, and that's when it attacked us out of nowhere! If poor Tepeson hadn't accidentally tripped and fallen as we were being chased, it would have gotten me!""I heard the shouts and the burners, but by the time I came over the ridge that poor fella was a goner! Oh, I'll never forget that sight! And then after it was finished with-"
[harpziban music continues]"Make way! Make way for the Baroness of... uh... Life... uh, Goo... The Baroness of Ligo and her entourage!"[crowd murmuring]"This is never gonna work, kid!""Just keep smiling and playing...""It's a good thing I had some extra fabric...""What are we supposed to do?""We're handmaids... act regal!"
[machine whining noises]"Kid, I'm never gonna doubt you again!"
"I'm surprised you adopted someone, Krum! I didn't think you were interested in being a parent!""A par- This thing is no son of mine! And lose that ridiculous shape!"[liquid squelching noise]
"What- no, I meant like you were before! No son of mine is going to be walking around shaped like that!""I don't know, Krum... didn't you say the parents all laid eggs? I'm no expert on amorphous biology, but I'd say you have a daughter!""Yeah, Krum!""Sporcs don't have daughters! It's... you can't... they just don't!"
"Finally, someone younger than me! Does this mean she gets to live with us?" "You need to give her a name, Krum!""Hey! There were six eggs, right? What about Six?""That's not a very tough name... It should be a good Sporc name, like Doh, or Krooton.""Those aren't good names for a girl!"
"Well, you've got three and a half days to hash it out. Verin control, this is Zephyr. We're ready to depart.""Negative, Zephyr. Remain grounded.""Say again, control?""We got a report that a Death Plasm might have been sighted near the starport. All outbound traffic is forbidden until further notice.""Uh, control, we've got the Baroness of Ligo aboard, and we need to get back to-""Zephyr, you are ordered to remain grounded until all ships have been searched.">Try to disguise the Death Plasm>Ignore the order and take off>Surprise intervention by Krum's sons>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>5123862>>Try to disguise the Death Plasm>Surprise intervention by Krum's sons
Rolled 9 (1d12)>>5123862>Surprise intervention by Krum's sons
"Jake! Someone's outside! They're telling us to open the bay door!""I know! Just... Wait until I get down there!"
"Imperial Commandant Trouserhosen! I didn't know you were on this side of the galaxy!""Yes, it is fortunate that I vhas on this planet overseeing the transfer of a chest of blockonium. I vhas only too happy to lend my skill to the hunt for the vhild beast.""I'm sure there's no place aboard the Zephyr it could hide!""This ship can hardly be described as tidy, Captain Starcrash.""Uh, well, you caught us on an off day!""Indeed. I wonder vhat else ve vill catch. Is there anyone else aboard?""Three passengers, one broken robot.""Ve vill deal vhith them later. Do you know anything of the Death Plasm, Captain Starcrash?""Uh, no, can't say I really do!""I am somevhat of an expert on the subject of the species. For example, did you know, Captain Starcrash, that the Death Plasm is capable of altering its shape?""Oh, I don't know, that sounds pretty farfetch-"
"The beast could be hiding anyvhere aboard your ship, so ve vill conduct a methodical investigation, starting with the crew and passengers. Each vill be scanned vhith this device.""This one's clear.""Hey, vatch- I mean, watch it!"
"However, the beast may have assumed another form, so ve vill test each item aboard vhith this device. Vhen it makes contact vith inert matter, there is no effect. However, vhen it makes contact vith a living creature, the result is instantaneous -and qvite painful- death."
"PARDON-THE-INTERRUPTION-IMPERIAL-COMMANDANT.""Vhat is it?""I-AM-RECEIVING-A-TRANSMISSION-FROM-THE-BLOCKONIUM-HAULER-IT-SEEMS-THE-BLOCKONIUM-HAS-BEEN-STOLEN-BY-THREE-SPORCS.""Vhat?!"
"Ah, you see, Captain Starcrash? Order vill soon be restored. Better to let the blockonium be destroyed than see it fall into the hands of those Sporcs. I hope you keep your Sporc on a tighter rein, Captain.""THE-ULTRACANNON-IS-ON-SITE-AND-BEING-CALIBRATED-ESTIMATED-TIME-TO-FIRING-TEN-MINUTES."Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>5124123Let’s wrestle the device from the officer
Rolled 4 (1d12)>>5124123Have Krum hit that guy on the head while Jake is distracting him with his feeble attempt to grab the device.
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>5124123Everybody panics!
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>5124123"Yes, I'm certain your superiors will understand you deciding to let the shipment of Blockinium you were bought here to oversee just be destroyed without you lifting a finger to try to rescue or save it because you got yourself embroiled in the petty business of some local hunters."
"No, you can't-""Vhat is this insolence? Get off of me, you vitless buffoon!"
"Hold it, Sporc!""Vhat now?""This one seemed like he was about to jump you, Commandant!""I see your Sporc is as villful and reckless as his captain. You, go and bring the passengers down here. They vill be vhitness to the executions.""Executions?!"
"Don't you think you should be more concerned about that blockonium? I mean, it's just one little Death Plasm! A chest of blockonium has got to be worth fifty or sixty thousand flatbacks!""Scherbenteile! Are you not avare, Captain Starcrash, that I lost my eye to a Death Plasm? Ever since then I have made it my life's task to hunt them, alvays vishing for the day vhen the last of their kind vhas exterminated."
"Here are the others, Commandant. We searched the flight deck but found no sign of the creature.""Vhat is your name and occupation?""Sammy Kollin. I'm a stand-up comedian.""I do not like to laugh."
"And you, vhat is your n-""AAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! The Death Plasm!-""Vhat-?"
"I saw it!""It's right over there!""Aaaaiiii-!""Look out!""Hey, watch it!""Get off of-""Look out for the-"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>5125428Plasmie just watches the whole clusterfuck in bemusement before knocking out the Commandant with a pipe.
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>5125446
"Hey, it really is the Death Plasm!""Vhat-"KLONGGGD"Aaaugh!"
KLANNGKLUNGGG"Don't turn around! Ow! Ow!""THE-COMMANDANT-IS-DOWN!""Ow! Ow!"KLONG
[liquid squelching noise]"Oh, um... thanks!"
"What do we do about these g-"[radio crackling noise]"Unit 351, what is your status, over?""Uh, Jake?"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
>>5125535Impersonate the commander with his accent and tell them the Death Plasm has been killed.
Rolled 7 (1d12)>>5125538>>5125535forgot roll
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>5125535This (with Plasmie giving the accent), but tell them to wait until the Commandant arrives to fire. Should buy Krum's kids some time.
"Yes, what is it- I mean, vhat is it, this is Imperial Commandant Trouserhosen, ve have eliminated the Death Plasm but ve are very vearied from our victory and ve vish to vacate the vicinity vithout vait, over.""Yes, Commandant, is there anything else?""Oh, and vill you please order the ultracannon team to vait for my arrival before they fire?"
"Yes, Commandant. The additional Space Police you ordered are en route to the starport. They should be reaching your present location within the next two minutes."Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
>>5125580Let's just blast off already. Bind the Commandant if we have to.
Rolled 4 (1d12)>>5125583>>5125580
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>5125580Toss the space nazis out the airlock as we take off
"Jake! What'll we do?""I'll get the Zephyr in the air! Tell Krum to get those Space Police off the deck!""Right!"
VVVVVRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMmmmmmm"Zephyr, you are not cleared for liftoff! Abort! Zephyr, abort!"[click]"Nothing good on anyway... Krum! Are you ready?"
[atmosphere roaring noise]"Almost finished! Just got these two!"
[atmosphere roaring noise]"Huh? Where'd he go?"
[atmosphere roaring noise]"And now, my unvorthy opponent, I vill vatch you die."Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>5125633Krum grabs his foot and tosses him over his shoulder while saying a clever one liner
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>5125633Aren't Krum's sons sorta fucked if we don't do anything?Grab Trouserhosen and abandon the ship. We can use him to soften our landing.
Rolled 12 (1d12)>>5125633Perform a daring flip back into the ship and land violently on Trouserhosen
"After I finish vith you, I vill eliminate the last Death Plasm, and the rest of your troublesome crew. Goodbye, Sporc."FRZZAAAP
[atmosphere roaring noise]
[atmosphere roaring noise continues]
"Vhat-!?""You wanna watch me die?"
"How about a front-row seat?"
FRRRZZZZZZAAAAPFRZZZAAAAAAAAPPFRRZZAAPFRRRZAAAP[yelling, shouting]"Sir, we've got incoming!""A missile?""No sir, it's..."
"What hit us? What-"
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>5128754Krum goes Rambo on these guys.
Rolled 8 (1d12)>>5128754Krum swings Trouserhosen around like Mario tossing Bowser, knocking these chumps over like bowling pins.
>>5128754Krum and his kids bond over kicking space gestapo ass, and get a crate full of blockonium and an ultracannon out of it.
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>5128761>>5128754Forgot the roll.
Rolled 12 (1d12)>>5128754Six takes control of the Zephyr, hopefully coming to Krum's rescue...But whenever flew a ship before...
>>5128819But she never flew a ship before.Worthless autocorrect.
"Now, who wants to try and draw first burn?"[empty clicking noise]"Uh-oh..."
"His burner has no charge! Fire! Ready the ultracannon!""Yes, sir!"FRRZZZZAAAAAPPFRZZZZAAAAAPP
"I don't need a burner! H-yuf!"KLOMP"Aaugh!""Yaaugh!""Aauf!"
"Krum! We did not think we would see you again.""I didn't plan on being here. Seems like you're gonna - huh? I don't believe it!"
"Vhat you believe is of no concern, Sporc.""Commandant Trouserhosen, no!""The blockonium!""Look out!"FRAZZOOOOOOOOOM
[bootsteps crunching]"You are a competent varrior, Sporc..."[ultracannon charging noises]"...But I vill keep my promise now, and vatch you d-"
VVVRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMmmmmm"Krum! You're alive!""Let's go, there are more Space Police on the way!""If you two are out here, who's flying the ship?"
[frantic beeping noises]"No, not that button, the one next to it! No, not now, wait until I tell you to! Okay, now!"[beeping noises intensify]"Not that one, the other one!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>5129982While Krum and his Krumlings hop back onboard, Plasmie distracts the space pigs by landing on them.
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>5129982>>5130004+1
"This ain't over, Trouserhosen! You're lucky the cops showed up!"
"Thanks for holding onto my burner, Prim. Now we just gotta swing around and pick up my- the other Sporcs, and we can get off this rock!""Um...the only life readings we picked up were Trouserhosen... and you."
"Oh.""I'm so sorry, Krum, I-""Whatever. These things happen."
"Is it over?"
"Yeah, it's over."[hatch closing sound]
"Next stop, Port Argent, and just in time. The Space Police are almost-"[beeping noise]"Huh? That's weird, the sensors are picking up a trace amount of blockonium about five klicks from here...">Leave before the Space Police get here>Check out the mystery blockoniumRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 7 (1d12)>>5131487>>Check out the mystery blockonium
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>5131487Only five klicks? Let's check it out on our way out of here. We can't risk too much on a trace amount.
"What are you doing, old man?""Jake, we have to get out of here!""There's something I want to check out - don't worry, we'll be out of here before the Space Police make atmo."
[atmosphere roaring noise]"There! In the bushes near those flowers! I see something!"
"What is it?""It's the chest the blockonium was in!""There's no way it was blown this far in the explosion!""Hey! Does that mean..."
[distant spaceship noises]"That sounds like the Space Police!""We'd better kick jets!""Hey, what about the other Sporcs?""I wouldn't be surprised if they're still alive! After all, they're Krum's kids!"
VVVVRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMM"Next stop, Port Argent... and this time I mean it!"
This episode isn't over but I'll take this time to post some linksIf you're enjoying the adventures of Jake and friends, most previous episodes of Lego Quest are archived along with all the pictures:https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=lego%20questThe official Lego Quest wiki has writeups on just about everybody seen in this episode:legoquest.fandom.comAnd if you're on twitter you will get a tweet when a new episode goes live if you follow me:@EndmanOfFuturonThank you to everyone for playing so far!
>>5131569Thanks for running again, man! Didn't get a chance to vote much, but it's always enjoyable seeing you work your magic!
>>5131569Thanks for running and keeping my love for old Space Lego alive! Do you have any full shots of the Zephyr?
>>5132689>Do you have any full shots of the Zephyr?I made this tour of the interior when I was about 95% finished with it
I couldn't find the other full shot strip so I had to make a new one
>>5132732Found it; this shows the compartments a little better
>>5132700>>5132732>>5133484Wow, I didn't think all the interior actually fit inside. I tried building a large ship with actual facilities for the crew once and it quickly became huge and bulky.
"Affirmed, Zephyr. You are cleared for docking. Welcome to Port Argent. Please observe the local personal defense rules. No burners, blades, clubs, or other offensive items are allowed without special permission.""Acknowledged, control. Zephyr out."
"Can we have a picnic here too?""Well, this place is an asteroid, so there's no atmo outside the walls. I need the two of you to stay on board for a little while.""But I want to go outside and look around!"[liquid squelching noise]"Yeah! We both do!""I'm not sure that's a good idea right now... listen, just wait on the ship until we get back, and then we'll talk about it, alright?"
"Sir, it looks like you put down zero passengers on your manifest-""Oh, that's right, here's the additional documentation you asked for.""My mistake, sir. Zero passengers, just like it says here."
"Well, Sammy... Ooliz... It was great to meet both of you. I don't think I've ever had more fun on a voyage. Good luck from here out!""Same to you, kid!""Take care, Captain!"
"Now what?""Those maneuvers on Verin-4 ate up a lot of fuel. We'll need to find work before we lift off.""What about those twenty thousand flatbacks you won on Snowball?""He's saving it!""For what?"
"There's a boarding school here run by the Sisters of Perpetual Extenuation.""So?""So... The Zephyr is no place for Ash. That twenty grand is enough to pay for a year of tuition-""With those nuns? I heard their religion is so strict, nobody's allowed to know anything about it - not even them!"
"Didn't you say that her mother was from Port Argent? Maybe she has other family here!""Nah, Yrin said she didn't have any family. Look, can we talk about this later? We need to find some cargo and-""Hang on a second."[sounds of violence]
"We told you to zzztay out of our buzzzinezzz!""Please! My queen must be- aaaugh!""It zzzeemzzz like he did not get the mezzzzage!""We need to make it a little more obviouzzz!""That izzz right!">Step in>None of your business>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 9 (1d12)>>5135720>Step inGang wars are a great opportunity to make some profit.
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>5135720>>Step inmulto profito
>>5135720>Step inI've got to say, this is the first I've seen of this quest, and I love the '70s style you're going for it. It's incredibly amusing.
"I don't need a burner to rip your legs off! Raaaaugh!""Look out!""That Zzzporc hazzz gone cra-"
"Torment me no longer!""Put me down, you zzzludge!"
"Let uzzz get out of here!"
"You have made a big mizzztake, Zzzporc!""You and your friendzzz had better watch themzzzelvezzz! Thizzz izzz a big zzztation! There are lotzzz of placezzz where zzzomeone could dizzzappear!"
"Looks like they're not interested in a fair fight. Maybe they'll come back with some friends.""No, there are only four in their group. They are the lowest of Gozon's workers."
"Who are you?""This is Jake, and Prim. My name's Krum.""Hi!""From the way you handled that Linnarian, it's no wonder they had to gang up on you! Say, I've been from the Fringe all the way to the Arc of Nations and I've never seen anyone from your species. What do they call you?"
"I must go. I have tasks to accomplish.""Nice way to thank someone for saving your life!""In my time here, I have seen how others present falsehoods as truths in order to gain from those who are unaware of their true intent. Perhaps you also work for Gozon. Perhaps this was all a ruse to gain my trust.""Gozon? Believe me, we don't have anything to do with that creepy-""I must go.">Try to gain his trust>Let him go for now and look for work>Check out the boarding school>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>5137295>>Let him go for now and look for work
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>5137295>Let him go for now and look for workNo sense in forcing things--something in the Space Wind tells me we'll meet him again...
>>5137295Spy on him in totally not creepy manner.
Rolled 9 (1d12)>>5137322roll doko
Rolled 7 (1d12)>>5137295Ask around a bit about this Gozon fellow while looking for work. He seems to be important.
"Who's this Gozon anyway?""Gozon Haraldson. He's... I don't even know where to start. He's into some weird science and life extension stuff. I never met him, but I heard plenty. He was a mid-level mobster a few years ago. Seems like he moved up the food chain since the last time I was here.""What do we do now?""Go get our names on the bid sheet and hope we can pick up some outbound cargo."
"Can I help you, sir?""Hi, how you doin'? I've got a ship with sixty-four standard. Where's the bid sheet?""Who do you pledge?""Huh?""Who... do... you... pledge?""I don't underst-"
"I don't have time for this! Ickbray, get rid of this clown!"KLONGGG"You got it, dockmaster! C'mere, human!""Yaaah-! Okay, I'm leaving!"
"Gloop gloop.""Prim, you speek Longolese. What's he saying?"
"Gloopa gloopa?""Gloop glorp.""He says Port Argent is controlled by two crimelords, Gozon and Naimar. He says you won't be able to get any work unless you pledge your fealty to one of them. Who's Naimar?""Never heard the name before.""Gloopa gloopo?""Glorp glop.""Glorp... glop?""Glorp glop.""What'd he say?""He says Naimar is an Aquainian... and that she has a witch who works for her.""A witch?""That's what he said!""Tell him thanks, will ya?""Gloopa glorp.""Glop gloop."
"Hey Jake, there's that guy from the dock access if you want to ask him about-"
"There he is! The Solenian!""You sure that's him?""Have you ever seen anybody that looks like that before? Of course it's him!""Should we take care of him now? Seems like an awful lot of witnesses.""We just need to keep an eye on him until the Octan Ranger gets here and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid to get the queen killed. Then the three of us will take care of him and cut a deal with whoever's got her.""Why does House Octan care so much about some bug?""Because, stupid! This is the first time the Solenian queen has ever been off-planet! Why buy the emos when you can have the extruder for free, right?">Seek an audience with Gozon>Seek an audience with Naimar>Talk to the Solenian warrior>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Whoops, just realized the last batch or two of pictures was lower resolution than I intended
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>5139075Talk to the Solenian warrior, maybe we can get some work this way without pledging to some crime lord.
Rolled 7 (1d12)>>5139075>>Talk to the Solenian warrior
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>5139075No harm having an interesting chat with the Solenian...
"Hey! Uh... with the wings!""You! I have no wish to engage in combat with you.""Hang on, we don't want to fight you. I think we might be able to help each other!""I do not understand.""Your queen is in some kind of trouble, right? Somebody kidnapped her? Well, we're in need of some cargo or some other way to earn a few thousand flatbacks. Why don't you start by telling us your name and what the problem is, and we can work on building trust from there?"
"It seems I have no option but to ally with someone. You may call me T'cnic. It is how you would pronounce the name of my caste.""Nice to meet you, T'cnic. Now, what's this about your queen?""Soleni is a world that has just recently been contacted by outsiders. Our queen believed she must make allies for our world to remain strong. Gozon contacted her. He told her a political marriage would benefit Soleni. He said he was a prince, but he is no prince! Now he holds our queen captive, and I am helpless!"
"Can't you contact Soleni and ask for help?""The others of my kind are... not like you or me. Until I was created, our queen was the only sapient member of our race.""Aren't there any others like you? Others from your same caste?""I am the only one of my caste. I was created specifically to accompany our queen on her voyage. She believed I would be all that was necessary.""When was that?""Yesterday."
"Captain Jake Starcrash.""Huh-?""Lady Naimar requests the presence of you and your crew. The Solenian may remain here.""And what's she gonna do if we say no?""You will accompany us, please.""A female and two unarmed robots? Jake, I can take 'em with one hand-"
"Let's not make a scene in front of all these people, Captain Starcrash."[burner warming-up noises]"We are, after all, civilized beings.""Uh, Krum... maybe we should see what they want."
"My lady, I have brought the ones you wished to see.""Thank you, Rema. Captain Starcrash. Allow me to welcome to Port Argent.""Uh, happy to be here. You must be the Lady Nai-""That one sees too much! You should kill him now, while you have the chance!""Silence, crone, or I shall have you silenced. Captain Starcrash is here as our guest. You are aware, Captain, that Gozon holds the Solenian queen?""I might have heard something about it."
"I have a reputation for treating my associates fairly, Captain Starcrash. You will find dealing with me is simple, as long as you are forthcoming. Two of my sisters once conspired to wrest my wealth from me. No doubt each dreamed she would soon take the other's share.""Here you are, Lady Naimar.""Thank you, Plaira. Open the grate.""Yes, Lady Naimar.""They still have such dreams, Captain Starcrash."
[metal creaking noise]"Sister?""Sister, please! For pity's sake!""Please, Naimar! Forgive us!""Let us out!"
KLAANNNNGGG"Gozon is a fool whose reach has extended his grasp. I do not know how he was able to lure the Solenian queen from her world, but there is no reason to believe House Octan will let a prize such as she be sold when she could simply be taken. Port Argent must present a united front in this matter. House Octan must see us as a power in our own right, not simply an obstacle.""There must be someone better for this job. We don't even know anything about your-""You are outsiders. Pledged to none. Gozon will find no reason to turn you away. You will seek an audience with him, and make him understand that he must ally with me in the ransom of the Solenian queen if he is to gain anything from House Octan. You will, of course, be compensated handsomely if our alliance is secured.""What happens if we can't get him to agree?""You will be free to pledge yourself to me, or to leave Port Argent. No retribution will come to you by my hand.""I tell you, slay him! He sees too much!""Silence, crone! I will have your answer, Captain Starcrash.">Agree to seek an audience with Gozon>Agree, then try to sneak off Port Argent>Engage in a psychic battle with the crone>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>5142739>>Engage in a psychic battle with the croneWe haven't flexed our mind muscles for awhile.
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>5142739>Engage in a psychic battle with the croneI mean, >>5142826's got it covered, but if you're waiting for another vote or roll...
"Captain Starcrash, are you listening?"
"I see you, boy. And here in the land beyond, your soul will dissolve when I have finished with it."jake starcrash help me"Huh?"
jake starcrash destroy my prison and end my torment"Your path ends before it has even begun. Now, die forev- eh? What are you remembering there, boy?"
"You know what they say... the shortest path is a straight line..."
"...and I'm a straight shooter!"FRRZZZAAAAAAAAAPPPKRRRZZZZ"Yeeeeeeeeeeee!"
"Wicked human boy! You will not take this psymond from me! I will sooner extinguish it destroying you!""Your time's about up, old woman!""Here where there is no time, memories erode quickly, boy!"
"See how you can no longer remember your own burner?">Try to shoot the psyamond again>Summon a good memory to help you>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>5143102>Imagine the emo becoming a giant emo complete with little budding emos, and have it try to eat her.
>>5143109I want to roll but stuff like this is hard to surpass.
>>5143109This is going to be interesting.
"I might have a short memory..."
"...but I've got a big imagination!"
"No! This cannot be! You are not strong enough to- yeeeee!"KRRRZZZZZZKKKKKRRRRAAAAAAKKKK
"Yeeeee! My psymond!""Still your tongue, crone! This business is not yet complete. Captain Starcrash, I will ask you one last time. What is your-""My psymond!"
"My psymond... my psymond...""Enough of your babbling! Plaira, take her to her room. See that she stays there.""Yes, Lady Naimar.""My psymond... my psymond...""Yes, come along now, Tarla."
"Captain Starcrash.">Agree to Naimar's proposal and take your leave>Stick around and try to learn more about the psymond>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>5143164>Stick around and try to learn more about the psymondWe will probably need every little bit of information before we make any decision.
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>5143164>Something elseMay we ask to whom they want to ransom the queen to and for what purpose? For all we know the Queen's homeworld may have undiscovered riches that both the Station and the Queen may mutually benefit.
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>5143164>Stick around and try to learn more about the psymondI smell a heist plotline...
"Listen... Lady Naimar. Why don't we discuss this over a nice meal? I can send my crew away, and you can... well, I must say I wouldn't mind you keeping some of them around. I've heard that Aquainian males are very rare, so you might enjoy my company, but I would consider myself lucky to be in the presence of such beautiful women. You most of all, Lady Naimar.""Hold it, human!""Jake, what are you-"[burner warming-up noises]"Jake, look out!"
"You are misinformed, Captain Starcrash. The Aquainian male is microscopic and spends his entire life inside the womb of his sister. But you are correct that the life of an Aquainian female is sometimes... lacking in company. You may indeed offer me further amusement. We shall dine together."
"Great! If you please, I'll send my crew on their way.""You may. Plaira, order the preparations. We shall dine on the terrace.""At once, Lady Naimar."
"Jake, that crystal on the old woman's staff! It looks just like the one Abe Hock found!""Yeah, the one that lifted all those crates without anyone touching 'em.""Believe me, you two, I noticed. Listen, get back to the Zephyr, make sure Ash and... the other one are alright. I'll meet you there after I'm done here.""WHAT-IF-SOMETHING-HAPPENS-TO-YOU-CAPTAIN-STARCRASH?""Are you showing concern for me, little buddy? Don't worry, I'll be fine."
[glasses, cutlery clinking noises]"Your, uh... court witch. That's some crystal on her staff. Where did she find a thing like that?""The psymond? Tarla has held it since before any of us were born. I remember she once mentioned she purchased it from a dealer on Bezlan. If he had known how truly she valued it, he could have retired that day.""Oh? Some kind of collector's item?""There are some who believe such things have mysterious powers. That they hold trapped spirits. Enough talk of dusty old crystals. Are you enjoying the wine, Captain Starcrash?""Almost as much as the company.""You flatter me, Captain.""I'm sure a beautiful woman like you hears that all the time. Now, what's all the fuss about a Solenian queen?"
"Soleni lies along a route House Octan has recently charted. Until now, they have paid the queen a pittance to dock their ships on Solenian soil, but the riches of the planet still lie unknown. In her naiveté, the queen likely believes House Octan will continue to honor their agreement now that she is vulnerable. When the queen is under their direct control, House Octan will become the de facto ruler, and Soleni will be theirs.""But won't there be problems if the queen doesn't return?""The Solenian workers will continue to make their planet available for House Octan until the queen directs them to do otherwise. Even so, without her direction the Solenians would be ill-prepared to match House Octan's forces.""Yeah, and House Octan doesn't play around from what I've heard.""They are called the Empire's Spine for good reason, Captain Starcrash. It is foolish to stand in their way. One must ride the wake of their passing. That is why I have decided to elect you as my representative to speak to Gozon. We may all profit from the sale of this queen.""Uh, about that...">Continue flirting with Naimar>Agree to her terms>Excuse yourself and sneak into the crone's room>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>5143941>Continue flirting with Naimar
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>5143941>>5143943Do that flirting thing, and get the psymond thrown in as as part of the terms at least.
"In my culture, dinner with a beautiful woman is always followed by dancing."
[music]"Am I performing the steps correctly, Captain Starcrash?""You're a natural! I find it hard to believe you're lacking in dance partners.""Few men dare approach me. You have a certain boldness about you that I find... refreshing.""About your offer-""Yes?""The reward you spoke of sounds nice, but there's something else I'd like as well. Your witch's crystal.""Tarla's psymond?"
"It is curious that you should be interested in her psymond. As of late, Tarla has become... unpredictable. Always rambling about portents and green fowl. Her intuition has always made her tolerable, but with senility she is becoming more trouble than she is worth.""Green fow-""I will accept your terms, Captain Starcrash. The psymond is yours."[music stops]"IF you are successful at convincing Gozon."
"I've certainly grown more tempted throughout the evening. And I wouldn't mind seeing you again. Farewell for now.""Captain Starcrash.""Lady Naimar."
"Hey! Listen, I was thinking now that we have a little free time I might take Ash out to get her some new-""Uh, Jake, about Ash...""What's wrong?""When we got back to the Zephyr..."
"...They were both gone!">Look for some marks to pickpocket>Find where the cool kids hang out>Show you're responsible and look for workRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>5148714>Find where the cool kids hang outCasing the place first would be a good idea.
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>5148714>>Show you're responsible and look for work
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>5148714>>Find where the cool kids hang out
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>5148714> find where the cool kids hang out and pickpocket them
"Excuse me! Sir? Do you need any cargo moved? Sir?"
"Need cargo moved? Sir? Need a spaceship? Hey!"
"The wise hunter forgoes the rabbit in the sharger's den.""Huh?"[liquid squelching noise]
"This is sludge. Come on, let's go see if this place has an arcade."[liquid squelching noise]"I have enough flatbacks to play a bunch of games. Maybe you can play too! You might be pretty good at it."[liquid squelching noise]"No! Whatever happens, you have to stay in that shape. Don't do anything a humanoid can't do."
"Oh, wow! Look at that!""Looks like she crawled out of a duct!""Probably here to look for coins on the floor!"
"How did you even get here? Are you a stowaway?""No! My father owns a spaceship!""Must be a nice ship, since he certainly didn't spend anything on you. Vance, do you think she's rich?"
"I don't know... this is all she had on her!""My money! Give it back!"
"Tell him to give it back!""You can have it back... IF you do something for me."
"See that old woman? She's rich. AND she owes my mother a lot of flatbacks. I bet if you steal her wallet out of her purse she won't even notice."
"I bet she's too afraid to even try!""Oh, yeah? Watch me!"[liquid squelching noise]"Wait here, I'll be right back."
"Hey, you little fetch!""Aaaaii! Let go of me!""Caught you red-handed!""Let go!""I should turn you over to Gozon!">Plead for forgiveness>Kick him and run away>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 12 (1d12)>>5149986Time for an old fashioned punch in the dick
>>5149989Yeah, looks like that would work splendidly at least.
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>5149989Be sure to grab our money back from that kid when we run away.
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>5150448Rollin' to beat them into submission instead!
"She got pinched!""It's Old Man Rainley!""Let's get out of here!"
"Hey, wait! My money!""Face your elders when you're being addressed! If I were still in charge I'd have you in irons right now!""Chauncey, dear, you know how you get when you're like this!""She's a common thief, Sarinet! These malicious little urchins are everywhere! Since Gozon and that Aquainian harpy muscled their way into power, Port Argent has been going to the trogs!""Chauncey, dear, I'm sure the poor girl didn't mean any h-"
"Chauncey, are you alright?""Aaauugh... I haven't been hit like that since I taught Yrin to fight!""And what would Yrin say if she saw you fighting with this child?""Did you say Yrin?""Our... our daughter. She left home when she was only a little older than you. We haven't seen her for more than twelve years."
"But Yrin is my mother's n-"
"Ash! We've been looking everywhere for you!"[liquid squelching noise]"You really shouldn't have left the ship... or taken, uh... the Baroness of Ligo out into public. Are you alright? I heard some kind of commotion a minute ago.""Is this your daughter, sir?""Last I looked! My name's Jake Starcrash."
"Mister Starcrash, your daughter is the most ill-mannered, disrespectful girl I have ever encountered!""Chauncey, dear!""She is beyond all doubt the product of the most inept and incompetent attempt of parenting! You, sir, are a blight upon creation! The girl should be taken from you at once and given to someone who can instruct her in more than assault and petty theft!"
"Hey pal, you can say what you like about me, but leave my daughter out of this! I do the best job I can taking care of her! Who do you think you are, anyway?""I think he's my grandfather."[simultaneously]"YOUR GRANDFATHER?!">Tell him you'd like to get to know them better>Tell him you're thinking about boarding school>Tell him you're doing a good job of parenting>Something elseRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 4 (1d12)>>5151712>>Tell him you'd like to get to know them betterAnd he'd better realize he wasn't that great of a father either.
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>5151712>>Tell him you'd like to get to know them better
Rolled 4 (1d12)>>5151712>Tell him you'd like to get to know them betterThe mystery deepens.
"This is some kind of grift! They must have heard about Yrin somewhere... maybe they bought the information from that crook in the dockmaster's office. Let's go, Sarinet.""Chauncey, the girl seems to be telling the truth! Look at her jacket!""The dockmaster probably sold them the jacket too.""At least hear them out! Mister Starcrash, is this true? Do you know where our daughter is?"
"I'm afraid Yrin passed away on Snowball.""Oh-!""Sarinet!"[sobbing]"We never should have let her get on that transport!""Sarinet, please! Not here in front of everyone!"[sobbing continues]
"Madame Rainley... I'm very sorry. I loved Yrin very much. This is our daughter, Ashlyn."[sniffling]"Uh, did you want to go somewhere more private?""Chauncey, we should have them in our home. The concourse is no place for this!""Sarinet, I don't think these people need to-""Of course they do! Mister Starcrash... Jake. Would you like to accompany us to our home?"
"Uh, that sounds-""Jake! You found Ash!""What did Naimar say? Are you gonna go through with her deal?""Naimar? Mister Starcrash, do you mean to tell me you're working with-""Uh, no, it's not like it s... Krum, why don't you guys take the Baroness back to the Zephyr? Ash and I have some things to do."
"So, Jake... you are a spaceship pilot? Is that how you met Yrin?""I met Yrin during my first voyage on a deep-space hauler. It's a funny story - my ship had just landed on Snowball, and I was in charge of labeling the cargo, but I accidentally-"
"I was the chief of security of Port Argent for twenty-four years, until the council was dissolved.""Uh...""I will be blunt, Mister Starcrash. I do not feel that someone who leaves children to their own devices and consorts with known criminals is fit to raise a daughter, much less our granddaughter. My wife and I will take custody of Ashlyn. You will be allowed to visit her, if you wish."
"Chauncey! What are you saying? You can't be serious!""I raised one daughter. I can certainly do a better job than he's doing with this one!""You tried to raise her like a cadet! That's why she-""Sarinet, the matter is settled! Mister Starcrash, you are free to leave.""Now just a minute! I loved Yrin, but you can't just-"
"Mind your tone, Mister Starcrash! I still have a great deal of influence here!""What's that supposed to mean?""I think you understand me quite well, sir!""Chauncey, please!">Start crying and distract everyone with comforting you>Sneak away from the table while all the adults are distracted>Suddenly manifest the strange mental powers you inherited from your fatherRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
>>5151850>Suddenly manifest the strange mental powers you inherited from your fatherThings are going to get even more interesting.
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>5151850>Suddenly manifest the strange mental powers you inherited from your fatherBy farce kicking them both in the nuts with our brain. After that, leave them to fight it out for themselves while we talk about Mom with our Nana.
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>5151851And rollin' for that.
"STOP IT! I HATE IT WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT ME LIKE I'M NOT HERE!""Ash, wha... whoooa-!""Yaaah! Wha-?"
"I HATE IT WHEN YOU TELL ME WHAT I HAVE TO DO! I NEVER HAD TO HAVE ANYBODY TELL ME WHAT TO DO BEFORE I MET YOU! I TOOK CARE OF MYSELF ALL BY MYSELF! I DIDN'T NEED ANYBODY! I LIVED ALL BY MYSELF AND I... I... I HATE YOU FOR LEAVING MOMMY WHEN SHE NEEDED YOU THE MOST! I HATE YOU FOR NEVER COMING BACK UNTIL... UNTIL..."
"Chauncey! It's...""It can't be!""My sweet baby Ash...""Mommy!"[sobbing]"I love you so much, Ashlyn. And your father loves you as much as I do. Your grandparents will love you too. Mother will teach you all the songs she knows. She loves to sing. She can teach you to sing, like she taught me."
"Yrin... is it really you?""Oh, Chauncey! It is her!""Yrin... My daughter...""Father... you don't need to feel guilty. I've never stopped loving you."
"Mommy! Don't go!""My sweet baby Ash. You've been so brave. So strong. You just need to be brave for a little while longer. I love you so much.""Yrin...""I love you, Jake."
"Where did she go?""I don't understand! What just-""Look, maybe we had better start at the beginning... A few months ago, I was outside my ship in vacuum and a crate came loose as I was-"KRSSHHHH"What was that?""The door!"
"SUBJECTS-TARGETED.""Get the child! Kill the old ones! I will deal with the one called Starcrash!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>5152003Chauncey and Jake bonding by beating up the robots.
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>5152003Gramma Sarinet brings out the big guns from her old days in the space navy.
Rolled 8 (1d12)>>5152003Ash uses her new found powers to force-push all the bots out of the scene!
"Sarinet! My service burner!""I hope you've got an armory!"
"Don't let them get farther into the house!""I'm right next to you!"
"Foolish man! You see too much... Now you will see no more!""ERROR-GYROSCOPIC-STABILIZER-EXPERIENCING-UNKNOWN-MALFUNCTION!"
"You may have been able to damage my psymond in the land beyond, but your power is no match for mine here. The girl is young, she will make a suitable... what?"
"Don't you hurt them!""You are stronger than I expected, girl... but you are young and untrained! I can feel your hold beginning to slip!"
"The next charge is going straight between your eyes! Are you alright, dear?""Yes, Grandmother!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 12 (1d12)>>5154001Jake dropkicks the crone in the head
Rolled 9 (1d12)>>5154001Chauncey surplexes one of the remaining robots into the other one
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>5154001Ash disassembles a robot... WITH THE POWER OF HER MIND!
"Stay away! I- I'm warning you!""Where do you hope to run, woman? The men are dead, they cannot protect you!""Stay back!""You cannot hope to destroy all these robots with your burner before they overwhelm you. The child will be mine."
"Not if I have anything to say about it! Hrrmph!"KLONNNGGGG"No! You live!"
"Correction: WE live!"KLUMK"Eeeeeee-ugh! My psymond!"
"Get them! Slay them! All but the child!""DESTROY-KILL-TERMINATE.""TERMINATE-DESTROY-KILL."
"My psymond!""Not anymore. Consider it payment for trying to kill us and kidnap Ash. Leave this place and don't come back. If you ever even think about her again, I'll toss you in with Naimar's sisters."
And just enough room for one more image!Apologies for the long lag in that last update - I woke up really sick after the last post and didn't feel up to doing anything until now. New episode will hopefully be up in the next day or two to continue this!Thank you to everyone for playing so far! Easter eggs and miscellania to follow shortly.
>>5115195Jake's comment about the stand running out of jellied emos turned out to be untrue>>5120359Frankenstein, Dracula, and Gillman>>5121393We saw a memory of Prim on the emo ranch on Welland-3 when Jake fought the supercomputer ALPHA-8000 in the land beyond>>5129969The ultracannon was first seen way back in the very first Lego Quest>>5143933Like Prim and Krum said, Abe Hock has a psymond with telekinetic abilities that he revealed to them in episode 3>>5149970The sharger is of course a fearsome beast native to Tratot's worldThat's it for now but I think we're out of image space. I'm going to go start working on the next episode so we can keep going!In the meantime, if you liked this and want to see more, almost all of the previous Lego Quest games are archived on suptg along with all the pictures:https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=lego%20questThe official Lego Quest wiki has writeups for Jake and crew and will soon have pages for the stuff introduced this episode:legoquest.fandom.comAnd if you look at my twitter you will get an update whenever a new episode begins:@EndmanOfFuturonGoodnight and thanks again for playing!
Thanks for running, and looking forward to the next episode!
Thanks for running! It's amazing that you still keep this up after all these years!
>>5160248> Apologies for the long lag in that last updateNo worries, thanks for running and get well soon.
>>5160395>>5160676>>5160862I have the best players.
A couple other things I forgot to mention>>5143099Jake remembered his burner as being a little bigger than it is in reality, and also it fires an orange charge, not a green one.>>5148699Speaking of green fowl, Jake met this thing in the land beyond while they were fleeing Sunrise Station last episode