You’re STANLEY PARBLE: a girl with a weird name and an even weirder tale: after a CENTURIES-OLD LICH woke up during your graveyard shift at the GOOD BOY DOGGIE BONE factory, your simple life of janitorial work became a bit more… Complicated.https://youtu.be/_wiwdlu-Zg0Sure, you became pals with your now-sentient skeleton (you named him LY) AND gained some nifty SUPER POWERS from eating MAGICAL BONE MARROW, but that doesn’t change the fact that your hometown of CLEARWATER, CALIFORNIA is overrun by HOMICIDAL SKELETONS! Even worse, the guy in charge is dead-set on taking over the rest of the world while he’s at it! Not cool!At long last and to no surprise to anyone, least of all yourself, your enemies lie strewn about you in ruin like busted toys in a toddler’s nursery. Having dealt with TIM’S LIEUTENANTS, the foul lich’s phylacteries and fiendish capos in his plan to take over the world, all that remains now is the big cheese himself–his unholy highness plotting no-doubt wicked plots in his FLOATING FORTRESS looming in the ash-choked skies above you. Needless to say, getting up there and kicking his bony ass will be about as easy as vacuuming up that layer of gunk that builds up between carpet and flooring. No small feat. Fortunately you’re not alone! Between your loyal croni-err, friends, the demon doppelganger NATS you just picked up, and a growing army of dissident skeletons led by your rockabilly bro CLIFF, you might just have a chance at cleaning up this mess–or at the very least looking cool failing! Fingers crossed! Speaking of, your skeletroop picked tonight of all nights to throw a BONEY BASH up at the old DRIVE-IN–no doubt a last hurrah before the final battle begins! That’s what you thought, at least, until your old pal STRIPES called shouting about an EMERGENCY! Racing to your trusty VAN like a dog about to go to the park, THIS is where your story continues... >CONTD.
>>5340923Welcome to BONES QUEST--yea, we can’t believe this lasted this long either! Make sure to check out the following resources:Archive Link to catch up with the story!>https://lws.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Bones%20QuestTwitter account for updates!>https://twitter.com/DemBonez3Imgur Page for quest and FAN ART! You make it, we display it! Running a little behind on my end because the website sucks, but I’ll catch up eventually!>https://imgur.com/a/dvF3SCNA HANDY PASTEBIN for INVENTORY, SKILLS, and MORE:>https://pastebin.com/u/DemBonez3/1/TvtRhtJKRolls are handled by a 1d100--I take the BEST OF THREE ROLLS! Certain boosts and maluses will be applied based on the situation and existing skills. Describing your actions, write-ins, FANART and GENERAL CREATIVITY are all APPRECIATED AND REWARDED--we like to keep things LIGHT and CHILL here, so come on in and have some fun!>CONTD.
>>5340924“STAN! HEY!”“Where’s she going?”“Oh godDAMN it…”https://youtu.be/HEf9x7-NYrkNO TIME! GET TO THE VAN! Ignoring your friend’s shouts, you scamper towards where you think you left the van with your RADIO pressed firmly against your cheek! Pressing the ‘SEND’ button down, you respond to Stripes with a frantic ‘WHAAAAT DIIIID YOUUUU SAAAAAAY???!?’“Is dat’ Stripes?” Ly asks as you vault over a line of barrels. “Hey, tell him I say hi, cupcake.”NO!“Yea, it’s an EMERGENCY!” Repeats the skelegreaser’s voice through the radio’s speaker! “The party, sis! It’s da’ party!”Darting around the corner of a shipping container, you manage to skid to a halt just before running off the docks and into the dark, choppy sea water below! Would it kill the assholes running this place to put up a guardrail or something!?Frantically scanning the night-shrouded port for any sign of your wheels, your eyes come up empty–it’s too dark! Where the hell did those idiots park!?“A party? I’ve never been to one of those!” Chirps NATS, your body’s newest demonic tenant. “Shouldn’t we be wearing something, err… flashier?”“Stan uh… Stan don’t do ‘flashy’.” Replies your obnoxious skeleton’s disembodied voice.Spotting a line of skiffs and dinghies moored in a line below, you think you can make out the outline of your van just across the way! If you could just hop across here, well…ROLL ME 1d100+10 (BUNNY SUIT+5, DEMON STRENGTH+5, BONE SPEED+5, EMU LEGS+5, CHOPPY WATERS-10) TO NINJA ACROSS WITHOUT LOOKING LIKE A FRIGGIN’ IDIOT! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5340932Let's try to stick that landing again.
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>5340932Time to roll!!!
Rolled 55 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5340932
>>5340936>>5340949>>5340971>HIGHEST ROLL: 83!Writing!
No time to think here, you reason as you leap off the edge towards the nearest skiff! Though you land like a cat in the boat, your sudden appearance causes the whole thing to bob and drift against its moorings–almost as if it’s TRYING to shake you off! The nerve!“STAN, WAIT, DAMN IT!”By the time you hear Art’s plaintive cries, you’re already halfway across your ad hoc bridge! Skipping from skiff to skiff like they were stepping stones, you’re nearly shaken off a few times, but you hold it together! Hopping back onto the docks with one last leap, your rubber boots land on the pavement with a muffled ‘squeak’ as you shout for Art to shut the hell up and get everyone to the van! You’re on a MISSION!“YEA, BU-”Man, one of these days these dingbats are gonna have to learn to listen, you snarl! Sprinting towards where you last saw the outline of the van, you take the opportunity to ask Stripes just what the hell kind of emergency he’s talking about! If they’re all out of booze already-“Nah, the booze is fine!” He replies with relief in his slightly-staticy voice, “But the party… the party’s already STARTED!”Turning the corner and faceplanting against the derelict ice cream truck you mistook for your VAN, you shrug off the dull ’TONG!’ of the impact and take a moment to send an incredulous look into the radio’s speaker. HUH!?“And… and you’re not HERE!” Stripes concludes before bursting into raucous and EXTREMELY ANNOYING laughter! Sliding down the side of the truck into a sitting position, you try and fail to blink away your growing irritation as you sputter a response:Is… is he retarded?“Hey, it’s a real emergency, alright?” Stripes wheezes over the sound of fellow skeletons hooting and laughing behind him! “You went through all that trouble puttin' this whole bash together–just wouldn’t be right if ya’ didn’t make it!” As you barely resist the urge to huck the radio into the sea, you tell your old pal through clenched teeth that you were BUSY!“... wait, you mean… it’s done?” He asks with genuine surprise in his voice. “No kiddin’, sis?”No kiddin’, you nod as you spot Sybil, Art, and Gus rushing over to where you’re sitting–the former blinking in and out of existence, the later practically carrying Art over his shoulder.“... Yea, now you REALLY gotta come over!” Stripes adds in an awestruck tone. “Can’t talk about it over the uh… the line, dig?”He’s the idiot who called you, you snap! You don’t need a lecture on privacy here!“Didja’ tell him I said ‘hi’ yet?”NO, Ly, you DIDN’T!“Is dat’ Ly? Hey, tell him I said ‘hi!’”“Can you tell him I said ‘hi’ too?”NO!“... so you DON’T mind, or-”SHH!>CONTD.
>>5341061“Alright, sis, I’m sorry, okay?” Stripes continues as your three friends skid around the corner of a nearby shipping container ready for a scrap! “I just… we’re all really excited for dis shindig, is all.”Yea, you can tell, you mutter, waving off Art’s questioning glance. So they’re good, then? No sudden attacks? No overpowering craving to kill humans?“Nope… aaaaand nope!” Stripes replies in his perpetually-chipper tone! “Got da’ tunes all set up an’ more fun than ya’ can shake a stick at! All da’ guys pitched in settin’ up–place looks like a boneafide fairground right now!”“Hate to interrupt the chat,” Sybil says, deftly interrupting the chat, “But why exactly are we running off to an ice cream truck?”It’s a long story.“They got any ice cream sandwiches in there?” Gus asks as he raises a bushy eyebrow at the abandoned vehicle. Responding with a shrug, you continue your conversation with Stripes as Gus begins rummaging around in the back of the truck. So, you huff, did he really just call to see when you’re coming?“... well yea...” The skeleton mutters sheepishly. “I know it sounds stupid, but dis’ thing means a lot to us guys… an’ if what you said is true, it won’t be long before it all, well, ends, dig?”Yep, you nod, idly drumming your fingers on the radio. You dig.“Well look, we’re gonna be goin’ for da’ rest of the night!” Stripes continues with renewed enthusiasm in his voice! “An’ if I’M not enough of a reason for ya’, you’ve got a couple other cats who wanted ta’ see you too.”Yea? You ask, raising an eyebrow. Who?“Well…” Replies the voice in the radio…>CONTD.
>>5341064“There’s WYATT T, course.” The skeleton explains with a knowing chuckle. “That big lug’s been achin’ ta’ see you for a while now… there’s those PIRATES ya picked up–includin’ those two brothers that keep tryin’ ta’ kill each other…”ANDRE, you nod. You’re surprised that guy’s still alive, to be honest!“Not fer’ lack of tryin’. Lessee, we’ve got the SOLDIER BOYS, those guys have been real helpful, oh, an’ a whole bunch of folks from JOPLIN! Guess some of ‘em were tired of playin’ cowboy in the desert.”That must mean GRAMPS too!“Yep. Cat’s a mean ole’ hound dog, sis. Oh, an’ CLIFF! He’s been really keen on chattin’ with ya.”Yeah, well get in line, you snap! You’ve got a lot of stuff on your plate, okay? “Don’t I know it. Well look, kid, HAULIE PAULIE’S been talkin’ too a-”Holy shit, HAULIE-PAULIE’S gonna be there?!“THE HAULIE PAULIE?” Sybil hisses as an excited grin forms on her pale face!“Really?!” Art adds with childlike delight!“No way…” Gus mutters mid-rummage from within the ice cream truck.“Yep–he’s practically runnin’ the show!” Stripes boasts. “Still got stuff on your plate?”“There IS dat GALA bein’ put on by that creep CURT an’ his magic pals…” Ly remarks as you contemplate your response, “But dat’ crap started ages ago–probably windin’ down by now.”What say ye?>HOLD TIGHT, STRIPES–WE’RE ON THE WAY!>WAIT A SEC: YOU’VE GOT SOME QUESTIONS FIRST!>CAN’T PROMISE YOU’LL MAKE IT–STILL GOT SOME STUFF TO DO!>WRITE-IN!
>>5341068>HOLD TIGHT, STRIPES–WE’RE ON THE WAY!Still we should give Blumkrantz a status report at some point
>>5341068>HOLD TIGHT, STRIPES–WE’RE ON THE WAY!We should make Art report to Blumencratz, make him earn that second in command spot.
>>5341068>>HOLD TIGHT, STRIPES–WE’RE ON THE WAY!
>>5341125I like the way this guy thinks.
He had you at HAULIE PAULIE. Giving your radio a nod, you quickly follow up with a ‘we’re on the way, buddy!’ when it dawns on you that he probably can’t see what you’re doing. “Now that’s the best news I’ve heard all night, kid!” Stripes cheers as a few other voices join him in the background! “And uh, don’t worry about the BIG CHEESE– Cliff reached out to him earlier and set up a chat. Should be over an’ done by the time you guys show up.”Hold on, you snarl, does that mean TIM’S gonna be there!?“Nah, sis, he tunes in with that magic of his, dig? It’s all been handled!” Stripes explains, clearly not bothered by it. “Trust me on this one: Cliff’s got it all figured out!”Fine, you reply with your classic eye roll, just… just keep us in the loop, kay?“You betcha, sis!” Stripes replies confidently. “Gotta run–think some of the guys wanna ride the HELICOPTER an’ guess who finally got his pilot’s license? Did uh… did I mention one of those soldier guys was teachin’ me?”Oh shit, you forgot about that! Yea, you nod, all prior wariness fading away almost instantly, is he gonna give you a ride or what?!“Only if ya’ get over here soon, sis!” He replies with a laugh! “Seats are goin’ fast…”Oh ho ho, you reply, then save a nice one, cuz’ you’re already on the way! Concluding with a curt ‘OVER AND OUT,’ you immediately toss the device into Art’s unsuspecting chest! Think fast, nerd!“ACK!” He sputters as his reflexes kick in just in time to clumsily grab the radio, “What’s uh… what’s going on, Stan?”What’s going on, you reply as you rise from your seat, is that you’ve got a date with a HELICOPTER! Oh, and the party. We’re heading there now, by the way.“Is that why you ran off?” Sybil asks as Gus emerges from the truck with a handful of what appears to be candy bars.Yep, you nod, taking a bar wordlessly offered to you by Gus’ outstretched hand, but apparently they moved the damn van! That or those stupid SKELANIMALS moved it-“The van wasn’t moved, you dork,” Art huffs impatiently, “You ran off in the completely wrong direction.”You respond with a blink. Uhhh, so sure of that, is he?“So sure I am, yes.” The Rent-A-Cop frowns before pointing his finger back where you came from. “Mitzi and Talbot picked us all up near where you parked the van–right down that way.”“Bike’s over there too.” Gus adds.What the hell, you scoff, did everyone know and just forget to tell you or something?“No, you just ran off like an escaped animal.” Art sighs. Well would it kill them to catch you!?“Probably, yea. You know how you get.”“He’s got a point, cupcake.”Yea, well…>CONTD.
>>5341305“Ya’ get all that energy out, boss?”Ignoring Mitzi’s snarky remark, you return to where you docked the yacht you uh… ‘borrowed’ to find the rest of your team milling about like a bunch of lost tourists. Before you can say anything, you feel four sharp claws climb their way up your calf and back before a small, black hand snatches the candy bar out from your grasp! Swiping at the treat, your hand goes long as LIL’ STANLEY, your ‘pet’ in name only, leaps from your shoulders and scampers into the shadows with her fat ringed tail flitting behind her! “She’s happy to be back on land, huh?” Eddie remarks as he, Tucker, and Kiki approach with Denise lingering close behind. “What’s up, Stan?”What’s up, you reply as Gus hands you a replacement candy bar, is that you’ve lingered here long enough–and after much consideration, you continue, you believe the team deserves a reward!“Cash?!” Guesses Talbot!“The night off?!” Tries Tucker!“Monogrammed leather jackets?” Shrugs Mitz!“T-t-talking pr-privileges?” Squeaks Denise!No, sorta, you’ll think about it, and what the hell, you finish with a confused look on your face, you never told her she couldn’t talk!“O-oh… m-must have r-read th-the room wrong! A-again! hheheh…” Mutters the perpetually-sweaty scientist. Wait a sec–you can revoke her talking privileges!“So what’s the reward, huh?” Eddie asks as he practically bounces off the ground with excitement! “Tell us!”You’re getting there, dick! As they might already know, you explain, Cliff and the rest of the Greaser Skeletons have been putting together a shindig up at their base–turns out it’s happening tonight and everyone’s invited!“E-everyone?” Asks your new skeleton mage pal Teevor as he and his associate Rohdi exchange confused looks. Oh right, they’re still here! Yea, you nod, they’re gonna love it!“What about TIM?” Tucker asks, causing a shroud of worry to fall over the crowd. “Isn’t this going to paint a big red target for him?”It would, you shrug, but your pal Stripes assured you that Cliff’s got it under control. And yes, you add, you trust that guy!“Well between that and those animals running wild we’re probably covered, yea?” Mitzi asks in that perpetually-chill voice of hers! “I say it’s about damn time we took a break.”“Especially considering what comes next…” Sybil remarks in a wary tone. “We’ll need all our strength for tomorrow.”Yea, you and the others nod.“... that means limiting alcohol consumption too, Stan.”The hell’s she telling you for!?>CONTD.
>>5341306“So lemme get this straight:” Eddie begins as you and the rest of the crew set off in the apparent direction of the van and the rest of the vehicles, “They’ve got a helicopter??”That’s right, bitch, you say with a wink, and guess who’s got dibs on the first ride?“I’ll be stickin’ near the dance floor, thank you very much.” Mitzi adds with a grin. “If I’m gonna go I’d rather it be from exhaustion, not some drunk bastard crashing a helicopter into the hills.”“There’s gonna be food, right?” Talbot asks with a conflicted look on his dumb face. “Not tryin’ to be, like, ‘Deadist’ or whatever, but do we need to pick up snacks, or-”If he’s being anything, you scoff, it’s dumb! It’s a party–why wouldn’t they have food!?“Well they’ll certainly have drinks.” Sybil sighs as you feel Talbot’s elephantine foot flat-tire your heel! Hissing in anger, you swipe at the big oaf until Gus steps in between.“Those guys know a lot about cars. Maybe they can look at the van.” He muses to himself in his perpetually-stoic voice.“Yea, it sounds like a dream and all, guys,” Art begins as Denise chats excitedly with Teevor and Rodhi near the back of the procession, “But before we get sauced shouldn’t we tell the folks at GOOD BOY about our progress and all?”Why didn’t you think of that, you muse with mock wonder in your voice! Oh wait, you did--that’s why you gave him the damn radio!“Oh uh…” The Rent-A-Cop mutters as he fiddles with the device in his hands, “You uh… you want me to do it?”Yes, VICE OFFICER, you want HIM to do it! And he can tell it to your old pal BLUMENKRANTZ, thanks very much!“B-B-Blumenkrantz?” Art stammers as a flash of lightning overhead heralds the rumble of thunder, “I um, look, Stan-”Thanks, VICE OFFICER, you chirp as you and Kiki exchange a knowing wink, you’re a doll! Before Art can whine about it anymore, you and the rest of the gang arrive at your parking spot where you find THE VAN, THAT JEEP, GUS’ BIKE W/SIDECAR, AND SOME SHITTY UNIVERSITY VEHICLE sit ready to be driven! LIL’ STANLEY’S glowing eyes peer out at your entourage from underneath the van. Heaven forbid you forget her...“So these are those ‘autom mobiles’ you primitives created…” Teevor remarks as the gang prepares to leave. “Fascinating.”“You said it, man!” Eddie grins as he throws open the back of the van to salute the cardboard cutout of RIP KORD. “I’m drivin’ this one, guys… since Art’s gonna be busy with a call, and all…”“Damn it.” The Rent-A-Cop hisses angrily, “I’ll get you good for this, Stan. Mark my words.”He’ll have to wait til’ after the call then, you giggle! Now everyone saddle up!>CONTD.
>>5341309“Before we go,” Tucker interrupts, “Are we taking all of these cars?”Yea, you shrug, finders keepers!“Might wanna suss out a route, too.” Eddie ponders aloud, earning an emphatic nod from Kiki. “Roads still might be dangerous.”“I’ll be on the bike.” Gus grunts, jabbing a thumb towards his trusty steed.“E-erm, K-Kiki a-and I will take this vehicle…” Denise squeaks, pointing a shaky finger at the UNIVERSITY CAR. “Y-you tw-two are more th-than welcome to j-join…”“Very well,” Teevor nods, prompting Rodhi to do the same, “It’s been some time since I’ve seen the surface…”“I’ll take the van with Ed.” Tucker adds as he pats his roommate on the shoulder. “Someone’s gotta keep an eye on the guy.”“Eh, me too.” Talbot grunts as he hops into the back of the van. “Gotta get that leg room, y’know?”“Guess that leaves me with the JEEP.” Mitzi remarks before glancing at Syb and a very apprehensive Art. “You guys comin’ with?”“Certainly.” Sybil says with a beaming smile! “It’ll be nice to feel the wind in my hair!”“Yea, yea…” Art grumbles.QUESTION #1: WHICH VEHICLE WILL YOU TAKE?>VAN (EDDIE, TUCKER, TALBOT)>UNIVERSITY CAR (KIKI, TEEVOR, DENISE, RODHI)>JEEP (SYB, ART, MITZ)>BIKE (GUS)QUESTION #2: WHAT ROUTE WILL YOU TAKE TO THE DRIVE-IN?>DIRECT! FAST, BUT POSSIBLY THE MOST DANGEROUS!>MIDWAY! NOT DIRECT, BUT A LITTLE SAFER!>STEALTHY! MEANDERING AND LONG, BUT LESS CHANCE OF SHIT HAPPENING!>WRITE-IN!
>>5341310>>VAN (EDDIE, TUCKER, TALBOT)>MIDWAY! NOT DIRECT, BUT A LITTLE SAFER!
>BIKE (GUS)Should be a nice quiet ride. >MIDWAY! NOT DIRECT, BUT A LITTLE SAFER!Trouble Lite. Just as refreshing, less injuries.
THE TALLY:>>5341337>VAN>MIDWAY!>>5341349>>5341360>BIKE!>MIDWAY!Looks like the MIDWAY route wins along with riding with Gus! Writing!
You make your choice known by vaulting over the side of Gus’, well, sidecar and plopping the goggled helmet sitting inside onto your head. It looks pretty silly with your cap and shades on, though, so you quickly decide to remove the headgear and chuck it back where you found it. Rapping your knuckles against the side, you inform the gang that you wanna take the middle route–the one that ain’t too direct, but not too slow either!“Sure, I know a way.” Gus grunts with the faintest of glints in his perpetually-tired eyes. “No helmet?”Nah, you scoff, those are for dorks! Stretching out a bit in what little room you have, your irritation grows when you realize no one’s moving. What’s the damn holdup?“Just uh,” Eddie mutters as people slowly get their collective rear in gear, “Stay close, alright everyone? It ain’t a race.”“It could be.” Mitzi retorts with a competitive glint in her eye.“No it COULDN’T.” Art declares in a stern tone. “We’re on our way to what will probably be the last bit of rest we’ll get before the final showdown–call me a party pooper, but I don’t want anyone dying in a wreck on the way over.”You, Talbot, Mitz, Gus all respond with a synchronized ‘Party Pooper.’ which does little to improve your VICE OFFICER’S mood. Doesn’t he have a call to make, or-“Augh, fine! Kuso...” Grumbling as he climbs into the back of the jeep, Art’s actions set a chain reaction in motion prompting the rest to get moving! Taking his spot on the bike next to you, Gus gives you a warm glance as his baby purrs to life! With a quick thumbs up to your pals, you and Gus are the first two out of the starting gate!ROLL ME 1d100 FOR NO REASON IN PARTICULAR! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>5341486
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>5341486C'mon dice, I think we can kill Art one more time before we fight Tim.
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>5341486
>>5341491>>5341516>>5341540>HIGHEST ROLL: 66!Writing the last update of the night since I've got plans in a little bit! Should have more SUNDAY AROUND 11-12PM PST!>>5341516It'll happen if you believe, anon!
https://youtu.be/SyqNtJSQvZoLeaving the port in the dust behind you, you lean back in the sidecar and take a long, thoughtful whiff of the cool, smoky night air as it rushes through your hair.Though the houses and businesses along the coast still smolder with embers, you can’t help but find the drive peaceful, in a way–the kind that clears your mind of worries and unease. “Been a while.”Blinking behind your sunglasses, Gus’ remark takes you out of your silent reverie. Say wha?“Since we rode together.” He adds in a stunning amount of expressiveness from the normally silent giant. “Been a while.”It has, hasn’t it, you muse, barely realizing it yourself. How long has it been since he’s driven you somewhere?“A while, dat’s fer’ sure.” Ly answers with a shrug in his voice. “As I recall you kids didn’t make a habit of doin’ much ‘side from playin’ video games an’ eatin’ pizza.”He’s not wrong. Last time you went anywhere with Gus had to have been when you met his family that one time at the pizza place–that or TRUCK-A-PALOOZA about a year ago. MAN, that was rad!“Yep.” Gus nods, clearly listening in on your internal monologue as usual. “Can’t go wrong with monster trucks.” Amen to that, brother. Amen to that.“Wanna go after this is over?” Continues the delivery guy as you head inland towards the town proper. Yea, you grin, you’d be down for that!“Cool.”Heading deeper into town, the lapping waves are replaced by the sound of distant gunfire and squealing tires–whether they belong to friends or foes is beyond you, but you figure at this point you can handle a jerk or two. Zooming past a burning GOODBOY NPC and a truck spray painted with some kind of winged snake, you can’t help but frown–how the hell is this place supposed to recover after all this?“It’ll happen.” Gus replies with a surprisingly reassuring grunt. “Eventually.”For some reason you feel a faint grin form on your face. Sometimes Gus just gets it, y’know?As you idly drum your fingers on the side of your ride, you wonder if you should be saying anything to anyone. Watching the redwood trees north of town send plumes of smoke rivaling the ones emanating from the buildings around you into the sky, it dawns on you that you might be driving for a while given the DRIVE-IN’ just outside of town. You kinda forgot what it’s like to not be attacked every three or four posts!What do?>TALK TO LY!>CHATS WITH NATS!>TRY TO COMMUNICATE WITH GUS!>JUST KEEP AN EYE OUT UNTIL YOU ARRIVE!>WRITE-IN!
>>5341591>>TRY TO COMMUNICATE WITH GUS!>>JUST KEEP AN EYE OUT UNTIL YOU ARRIVE!We can multitask
>>5341591>CHATS WITH NATS!>CHAT WITH LY!She uh...settling in? No roommate drama or anything? Brain behaving? Immune system not getting uppity? They're not talking about her when she's distracted are they?
>>5341591>TRY TO COMMUNICATE WITH GUS!Ask him what he would do if he were a traitor. Not that there’s one nearby, or anything!
>>5341591>TRY TO COMMUNICATE WITH GUS!
THE TALLY:>>5341596>>5341612>>5341647>>5341956>TALK TO GUS: 3!>CHAT WITH NATS AND LY: 1>KEEP YER EYES PEELED: 1Writing!
As you pass the burning remains of your hometown in your wacky convoy, you get the urge to check in with Gus a little bit, not that you and him ever really talk much. That’s not to say you guys are distant, or anything, it’s just how stuff is, y’know?“You’re happier.”Naturally the big guy beats you to the punch. Speaking of punch, his remark takes you somewhat off-guard–sending a bewildered glance his way, you ask him to repeat himself–you must have gotten something CRAY-CRAY in your ear!In typical Gus fashion, your driver responds with a noncommittal shrug. “Are you not?”Great, dude, very informative. Rolling your eyes at a burning post office, you counter his shrug with your own–yea, Gus, you mutter in a voice dripping with sarcasm, you’re having the time of your life dodging death every minute of the day! Art was probably jumping for joy when you left him bleeding in a friggin’ ditch and you’re sure Mitzi and the other folks who lost their friends and family are just peachy too! Woo-frickin’-hoo!Was that too subtle?“Nah, I think ya’ nailed dat’ perfect balance, kiddo.”Cool.Gus’ perpetually-stoic face droops a centimeter at your sudden tongue-lashing. “Sorry.”Happy, you scoff. Like a rat in a friggin’ maze, maybe! Leaning back in your seat as it rattles along the bumpy road, you can’t help but stare at the delivery guy’s statue-like face. What the hell is he talking about, anyways, you ask as you angrily cross your arms!“You’re different, is all.” He replies, earning another exasperated sigh from you. Now you remember why you never talk to the guy–getting anything out of him is like carving a marble sculpture with a toothbrush. Blind. Different how, exactly?Staring at you out of the corner of his beady little eyes, Gus takes a short breath as he takes you both around the skeleton of an old school bus left to rot in the middle of the road.“Remember the first time we hung out?”You respond with a blink. Barely. It was at the apartment, right? He nods with a faint, almost nostalgic grin.“I’d just come back from work with a MEAT YOUR MAKER DELUXE and your door was open. Not like, wide, or whatever, but kinda.”Now that rings a bell. Gus was always bringing home pizza after his shifts–perks of his family running the place, you suppose.“So I peeked inside, right? And there you are just… collapsed.”That rings stuff too. Those first few shifts at GOOD BOY were brutal!“Da’ golden days, huh, cupcake?”“Anyways, you weren’t dead or nothin’, so I gave you a few slices and that was it.”It was heaven, you grin, feeling a faint taste of pizza on your tastebuds. Last damn day you forgot to pack a snack before work, that’s for damn sure!“Yea, vodka mini-bottles don’t count as a snack, kiddo.”Whatever, DAD!>CONTD.
>>5342790Okay, you huff, so you had a bad day or two–still a whole lot better than, y’know, being hunted. By SKELETONS!“Dunno, Stan… you were pretty bad.” Gus counters as you roll over the cracked pavement. “An’ that wasn’t even the worst part.”What’s he smoking, anyways, you snap, jabbing your finger in his cheek? Is he saying your pizza and game nights were lame!? IS HE!?“Nah, man, those were cool.” Replies the driver, cheek still poked. “But whenever we hung out you always seemed… I dunno…”DAZZLING?“... defeated, I guess?”Your finger falls from the delivery guy’s cheek. What… what the hell’s that supposed to mean, huh? Has he been reading the last few threads? You only got defeated once, kinda, but you made it back! This writer’s a pussy!“Whenever we hung out you were, like… resigned, y’know? Like you were always bitching about your job, but it was like you were never gonna leave.”Uhhh, Earth to Gus: that’s NORMAL! People bitch about work all the time–it’s the American way! Your driver meets your explanation with one of his classic long, deep stares–the type that always makes you get all introspective.You… you weren’t that bad, right?“Yea, stuff sucks right now and all,” Gus continues as he turns his attention back to the road, “But you’ve changed, Stan. Maybe it’s the people, but I’ve never seen you smile this much, like… ever.”Yea, well, you stammer, retreating deeper into the sidecar, you smile a lot, okay? You don’t need people keeping tabs on it!“Whatever happens, I hope you stay happy, Stan. Really.”And just like that the conversation ends as quickly as it began. Staring at the ruined city passing by, you can’t help but frown. Stupid Gus. Stupid observations. You’ll be miserable when you feel like it, damn it.“Are you alright, Stanley?” Asks Nats in a genuinely concerned tone. Stupid demon with your stupid positive qualities…Looks like you’ve got some more time before you arrive. Anything else you wanna address on what was supposed to be a calm drive?>TELL GUS HE’S WRONG, DAMN IT! HE DOESN’T GET YOU!>ASK GUS HOW HIS FAMILY’S HOLDING UP!>INQUIRE ABOUT TRAITORS–SINCE HE’S SO OBSERVANT AND ALL!>CHAT WITH LY–YOU DON’T NEED ANYMORE INTROSPECTION, THANKS!>HIT UP NATS–BET SHE’S HAVING A BLAST SO FAR, HUH?>WRITE-IN!
>>5342794>HIT UP NATS–BET SHE’S HAVING A BLAST SO FAR, HUH?I love how the literal demon is a better person than we typically are.
>>5342794>>HIT UP NATS–BET SHE’S HAVING A BLAST SO FAR, HUH?Seems like a better usage of our time since I doubt Gus is the traitor. For all we know, Art will be made the traitor for shits-and-giggles so we can kill him all over again.>>5342872I keked.
My theory is that Blumencratz and Christie are co-traitors, seeking to take down GBDB and the rest of Tim's cult. GBDB company mind controlled Stan into attacking Christie to try and cow Blumencratz into submission, but instead drew her into the conspiracy.GBDB has been farming Stan's wild magic, that's why she felt defeated after work.
>>5342794>HIT UP NATS–BET SHE’S HAVING A BLAST SO FAR, HUH?
>>5342892Yeah at this point I'm suspecting Mitzi being the traitor is a big, fat red herring. We'll all be convinced Mitzi's the traitor and then get uber-fugged by our wonderful corporate overlords.
>>5342872>>5342882>>5342895>COMMUNICATE WITH DEMONS!Writing! Sorry, had a few errands.>>5342882Implying Artie will last that long>>5342892>>5342901Interesting theories there, anons! : )
Yea, that’s enough talking to Gus for you, thanks–good intentions or not, talking to the guy can get a little exhausting. Like digging through concrete with a particularly dull sponge.So, you segue, leaning away from your driver to denote a change in addressee, having a blast yet, Nats? “Boy, am I!” Chirps the demon’s disembodied voice as you continue speeding through the burning city. “I thought I’d feel more uncomfortable in this dimension, but there’s a LOT more fire than I expected! And everyone’s so kind!”Yea, well, you stammer, making a point to avert your eyes from a burning truck littered with remnants of what appears to be a squad of VOLUNTEER SCOUTS, well it’s not always on fire, y’know. Granted, it’s CALIFORNIA, but still.“And we’re going to see all of the friends you’ve made again at this shindig! Man, I’m jealous! I never had time to make any friends in the Abyssal Drift–most other demons get really territorial, y’know?”Yea, you mutter, nodding slowly, sure… Hey, Ly’s not giving her a rough time or anything, right? Because if he is-“No, things are great!” Nats replies in a voice frighteningly-close to your own. “I mean I still sting from when you tore my arm and leg off, but don’t take this the wrong way: you’re SUUUUPER comfy!”Uh, yea, you reply with an awkward laugh, you uh… you get that a lot. So she’s still pulling herself back together, huh?“For now, at least… I’m not feeding too much, am I? I’m sorry–I know I got a little carried away at the school way back when!”Hey, yea, she did, didn’t she? About time you got an apology for that!“I’m SUPER sorry, really! Your life essence just tasted really good, y’know? Like when you try to eat a little bit of guacamole and you end up downing the whole bag of chips? I promise I won’t do it again!”That remains to be seen, you snarl… she tries anything slippery and she’ll be making another trip!“Read you loud and clear, sis! Scout’s Honor!”Pfft. Demon Scouts…Since you have her on the horn, is there anything you oughta ask?>TELL ME MORE ABOUT DEMON LAND!>SHE’S GOT GONNA TELL ANY MORE EMBARRASSING SECRETS AT THE PARTY, RIGHT?>WHEN WILL SHE HAVE ENOUGH STRENGTH TO FIGHT?>WHAT’S HER TAKE ON (INSERT FRIEND/PERSON HERE!)>NEVERMIND! GLAD SHE’S SETTLING IN!>WRITE-IN!
>>5343049>WHEN WILL SHE HAVE ENOUGH STRENGTH TO FIGHT?And can we do anything to speed that process along that doesn’t involve whittling our already shortened life essence any further?
>>5343049>>WHEN WILL SHE HAVE ENOUGH STRENGTH TO FIGHT?
Did we ever give Talbot’s journal back to him?
>>5343049>WHEN WILL SHE HAVE ENOUGH STRENGTH TO FIGHT?>>5343105Don't think we did. Did we ever plan to do that?
>>5343107I don’t know, but it might make for a decent gift. I don’t think we need it for anything. Besides, we have enough junk in our bag-of-holding pockets.
>>5342901Honestly I think Mitzi could be in on it too, for our sake. I think the 'Traitor' is only a traitor to corporate, not humanity. I think GB has been fucking with our janitor for a long long time, possibly since birth, remember our hospital mix up that resulted in our goofy name? I suspect they might have implanted some sort of magical 'seed' or something in Stan at birth, and have been manipulating events of her life since. I think our violent blackouts have been targeted attacks on enemies of the company/cult, including Christy and even Boris's football career ending injury, as a threat to his parents. GB has actively been trying to rip apart Stan's support network by driving wedges between her and Gus, Syb, and Sue.
>>5343242>SpoilerThis fits a whole lot of puzzle pieces together very neatly. I think you might very well be right. That would make Sunny the mastermind behind all of this. Remember how fucked up he/she was? Crippled, sustained by magic and medical apparatuses? What if they’ve been using Stan for just that purpose? Or even just to revive Tibius? That’s make the bone company’s solid front for this whole mess, along with a perfect set of resources to be used when it started. Remember how Art’s entire unit was basically sent on a suicide mission? They were all KIA’d for no obvious strategic purpose. Unless that purpose was to retrieve us/delay the skeletons from catching us. I don’t think we’re safe working with Sunny/Sonny.
>>5343242Oh shit oh fuck oh no it all makes sense
>>5343065>>5343102>>5343107>WHEN STRENGTH, PLZI've gotta apologize, all--ended up playing games with pals after dinner last night and it went really late. I might have also drank for the first time in like, a week or so, so that didn't help much. Sorry for the mysterious disappearance!>>5343105You haven't, but you can certainly give it to him later if you want!>>5343242>>5343263Interesting theories there, anons! : )Yea okay let's write
Since she’s enjoying the ‘All-You-Can-Eat Essence’ Deal, you continue in a wary tone, does she have, like, a ballroom figure of when she can actually lend a hand?“Uh, yea: NOW. Did you not notice that +5 BONEUS to, like, every roll since we linked up?” She asks in an irritated tone that does you proud! And yes, you groan, you noticed that crap, okay? Not like it helped in that fight with Tory much!“Hey, blame the dice, not the demon, sis.”Fair enough, you shrug as the bike hops over a particularly deep pothole. You’re betting that crap was there even before the SKELETON APOCALYPSE too! Anyways, you continue, you meant, like, when she could take over and go SICKO MODE on your enemies. Y’know, like DEMON DRIVER in that DEMON MIGHT WEEP game your bro used to play!“Oh, that! TOMORROW, definitely!” Reports the demon with a smile in her voice. “As long as you don’t, y’know, nearly die tonight or anything I should be fit as a fiddle!”You’ll hold her to that, you hiss! There’s a pretty decent chance it’s gonna get hairy tomorrow, so she’d better bring her ‘A Game’!“It’s the least I can do for big sis!” Nats chirps! “Just, um… manifesting like that might take a lot of energy out of you… and I mean a LOT.”A small price to pay for POWER, you reply with a grim smile! But just so you’re both on the same page… what does ‘a LOT’ mean?“A lot means a LOT.” The demon explains as Gus takes a wide turn to avoid some jackass taking potshots at you from a nearby window. “I’m not a doctor or anything, but you’ll be pretty worn out afterwards. Hopefully not enough to keep you from fighting or whatever, but still!”Lame, you drone, watching Gus as he wordlessly unslings his SAWN-OFF SHOTGUN from his back and blows the shooter to hell without taking his dead eyes off the road. Dang, you thought shotguns had no range!>CONTD.
>>5343933“I’m sorry! If I take too much LIFE ESSENCE bad stuff might happen! Better safe than sorry, right?”Sure, you shrug, but what the heck does ‘BAD STUFF’ mean anyways?“Again, not an expert, but some of the other demons I met told me about how it’s, like, SUPER easy to take over a human’s body once you devour all their essence, so, y’know… that might happen if I’m not cautious?”Okay, you nod, that DOES sound kinda nasty–you like being alive, thanks!“Yea, and think of how sad all your friends would be!” Nats continues in a sympathetic voice. “I mean, I think I’m pretty good at impersonating you, but I only absorbed your POSITIVE BITS, so Art and Syb and Talbot and everyone would be stuck with a REALLY SWEET, HONEST, and EMOTIONALLY-AVAILABLE version of you! That’d be the pits!”A cold chill runs down your spine as you weigh her words. Yes, you nod as a haunted expression forms on your face, yes it would… don’t overdo it, please.Ever.“Roger that, big sis!”So uh, you continue as a pack of CLEARWATER’S INFAMOUS WILD DOGS dart across the torn-up thoroughfare ahead of you, what would it be like, anyways? When she uh… when she takes over?“It’ll be COOL, DUH!” Replies Nats with a cheerful giggle! “Really though: we’ll be super tough! Like REALLY tough!”You like the sound of that… but, like, she was wearing that COD OUTFIT– is that what’s gonna happen, or?“Oooh, I gotcha… Well if I had to guess…”DOES STAN HAVE A ‘DEMON DRIVER’ FORM? IF SO, WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE, MAYBE? HM?>NO DIFFERENCE ASIDE FROM SOME GLOWING EYES, MAYBE?>SOMETHING CUHRAYZEE LIKE IN ‘DEMON MIGHT WEEP’! SHARP TEETH AND COATS FOR SOME REASON!>DEMONIC RACCOON! NO, NOT JUST LIL’ STANLEY…>THAT CLEARWATER COD MASCOT SUIT WAS KINDA COOL!>MINIMALIST: JUST NATS WITH HER PITCH-BLACK SKIN, RED EYES, AND WHITE HAIR! AND SHE’S GLOWING, MAYBE?>WRITE-IN (INSPIRING PICTURES WOULD HELP TOO)
>>5343934How about norse hel style? Nats down one side, Stan down the other. Stan calls dibs on the laser eye side. Legion voice for good measure.
>>5343934>WRITE-IN (INSPIRING PICTURES WOULD HELP TOO)SHADOW STAN, BABY! All BLACK, except for RED LASER EYES.Shadows trail from her body and moving leaves behind a trail of shadows momentarily.Red electricity sparks from her eyes and moving her head leaves behind a trail of red electricity momentarily.
>>5343934>>5343976Awesome awesome awesome support!
>>5343966>SPLIT DOWN THE MIDDLE!>>5343976>>5343988>SPOOKY SHADOW STAN!That'll do 'er for now! Writing!
“I didn’t have much of a ‘form’ when I uh… woke up,” Nats explains as you drum your fingers on the sidecar, “But I remember seeing my reflection for the first time!”What was it, the cod?“Ha ha, nope! I remember seeing a silhouette–like a living shadow, y’know? And these sparking red eyes…”Not gonna lie, Nats–that sounds dumb. Like, REALLY dumb! Oh well–you’re sure that when the time comes you’ll look a lot cooler than that!“Who knows? Either way I can’t wait to show you!” Save that pepper, kiddo–you don’t plan on fighting anyone until tomorrow at the earliest!… unless someone talks smack tonight at the party. Or looks at you the wrong way. Or gives you a bad vibe. Or you get bored.“Almost there, Stan.” Gus announces with the usual lack of pep in his voice. Sure enough, as you scan your surroundings you find yourself crossing the outskirts you and Art tore through back when you first escaped GOOD BOY–hard to believe it’s been so many days!“Yep–I still remember spendin’ da’ night in dat’ tree…” Ly remarks as the bike starts climbing a long, sidewinder trail up into the forested hills above town. “Dat’ an’ da’ boot print Talbot left fer’ us in da’ mud…”“Whodathunk you’d make so many friends, Stan?” Giggles Nats’ disembodied voice! “Color me JEALOUS!”You’re gonna color her DRUNK in a little bit, you reply with a toothy grin on your face! Man, it’s gonna be great seeing the guys again!“Sit back an’ relax–I’ll get us there.” Gus replies with a slight grin forming on his bearded face. Leaning back into your seat, you contemplate what, if anything, you’d like to do before arriving at the venue…>ASK GUS SOMETHING!>ASK LY SOMETHING!>ASK NATS SOMETHING!>FIDDLE AROUND WITH AN ITEM (WHICH ONE?)>JUST ENJOY THE RIDE!>WRITE-IN!
>>5344072>>JUST ENJOY THE RIDE!
>>5344072>JUST ENJOY THE RIDE!
>>5344131>>5344301>SIT BACK AND RELAX!Writing!
You’ve got a whole night of tomfoolery ahead of you–might as well conserve that remaining energy, right? Stretching out as much as you can in your sidecar, you take in the sights as the road snakes upwards into redwood-covered hills that haven’t burned down yet.Glancing back at the rest of the wagon train, you feel a slight bit of relief when you see all of the vehicles following close behind. Sensing your gaze, Eddie gives you a friendly wave from the van’s driver’s seat while Mitz sticks her arm out the jeep window to flip you the bird. They’re certainly in good spirits.Before you can really get into some retaliation, a trio of HOT RODS STUFFED WITH SKELETON GREASERS burst from the fern-dotted hill! Surrounding your convoy, the rodders waste no time in aiming their weapons at you and your friends!“Hey there, girly!” Hoots one of the pompadoured patrolmen as he and two of his friends point the business ends of their N4 RIFLES at your face, “Think you cats might be a bit lost, dig?”And you think he might be a bit STUPID, you growl! You’re here for the shindig at the DRIVE-IN!“No clue what you’re talkin’ about, baby!” Retorts your would-be shooter. “Now spin an’ split before these trigger fingers get itchy, dig?!”What the HELL, you growl as you reach into your pocket! “Stan, don’t test these guys…” Ly warns as you quickly rummage! You’re not testing them, okay? You’re grabbing your radio so Stripes can sort these idiots ou-Oh damn it…Glancing back towards the jeep, you watch in growing horror as Art struggles to obey the commands given to him by the ROCKABILLY PATROL while also juggling what seems to be some kind of tongue-lashing from who you can only presume to be BLUMENKRANTZ over the radio. Damn, you’re surprised you can hear him from here!“Da’ radio’s a bit preoccupied, but maybe someone else can call in?” Ly suggests as Gus wordlessly revs his bike’s engine. There’s no time, dang it!What do?>TELL THESE ASSHOLES YOU KNOW CLIFF! STRIPES! HAULIE-PAULIE!>WHAT DO THEY WANT? BRIBES? TRY GIVING THEM SOMETHING! (SNACKS? MERMAID SMUT? DENISE?)>GET MITZ OR SOMEONE TO RADIO STRIPES! FRIGGIN’ ART….>THREATEN THEM TO CUT THE CRAP OR THEY’LL REGRET IT!>HEED THE WARNING AND TURN AROUND–YOU CAN FIGURE THIS OUT WITHOUT HAVING GUNS POINTED YOUR WAY, THANKS!>WRITE-IN!
Oh right, one more choice I forgot:>ATTACK WHILE YOU STILL HAVE THE DROP ON 'EM!I'm also signing off here for tonight--gotta wake up early tomorrow and won't be able to promise more updates until around TUESDAY 11-12PM PST! Hope to see you then!
> SEDUCE THEM WITH THE MERMAID SMUT!
Still elbow-deep in your nigh-bottomless pockets, your hand clasps around a suitable stand-in for your radio–the rough, almost chitinous book jacket of an otherworldly smut rag that swiftly fills your heart with uncanny fear just feeling it!“Last warning, pussy cat–we ain’t afraid to rumble, dig?”Some primal, mammalian survival instinct kicks in as you remove the MERMAID SMUT from your pockets prompting you to shield your eyes as you fling the skin rag in the skeleton greaser’s direction! Upon hearing its heavy pages connect with his face, you slap Gus’ arm a few times and yell at him to GUN IT!“Yea, uh…” Gus mutters as he lazily glances between the three other hot rods full of armed and clearly not distracted skeleton greasers, “Don’t think that’s a good idea.”“Hey, wait a sec…” Mutters one of the greasers from further down the convoy as he scrutinizes your face with glowing red eyes, “Ain’t I seen ya somewhere?”Maybe in his nightmares, you snarl, hair bristling as all of the vehicles roll to a stop. “Yea…” The greaser continues, hopping off the side of his ride and approaching your bike, “You’re that STANLEY kid, right?”Passing by Art, Mitzi, and Syb’s wheels, you order all three with your mind to destroy the skeleton… DESTROY HIM! Unfortunately your command goes unheeded as he approaches your sidecar running a comb through his immaculately-kept hair.“Well hot dog, boys, we’ve got a celebrity!” He hoots, prompting the non-catatonic skeletons to cheer in response! Planting a sneakered-foot on the edge of your sidecar, the skeleton leans in and gives you a genial grin!“Cripes, kitten–why didn’t you say somethin’? You guys are runnin’ late!”And they would have run late PERMANENTLY if they tried anything funny, you counter! He might want to, like, bat that smut rag out of their view with a stick or something, by the way.“Sorry about the show, kid,” The greaser apologizes as he motions for one of his pals to dislodge the MERMAID SMUT from your initial accosters, “Cliff was real particular about uninvited guests–don’t want anyone spoiling the fun, dig?”Well they’d better get to work making things fun again, you snarl, because this totally killed your mood! And look at Gus, you add, gesturing to the gentle giant seated next to you, he’s practically in tears!“Sob.”“Did uh… did the big guy just say ‘so-’”He’s emotionally soldered, okay? And the fact that he even said that means you guys REALLY hurt his feelings!“Oh shoot–we’re awful sorry, Stan! And pals!”They WILL be, you retort in a foreboding voice… they WILL be!>CONTD.
>>5345079“Well look, sis,” The greaser continues as one of his associates manages to smack the ELDRITCH SMUT RAG out of the hot rodder’s bony hands and onto the pavement, “We’ll start makin’ it up to ya’ by escorting you guys straight into the camp, dig?”You dig, you frown, but you don’t wanna wait anymore! And you want to be, like, announced! Like a princess entering a ballroom!“What the hell’s the HOLDUUUUUP?!” Roars Talbot from further down the wagon train! His funeral if he doesn’t shut up, you shout!“No problemo, kid… just gotta wait a sec.” The greaser replies as the rest of his crew relaxes a bit. What the HELL for?!“Boss is makin’ a speech to the troops.” Explains another skeleton in the car across from yours. “Sounds like it’s a big one.”Sounds like a DUMB one, you counter! It doesn’t matter anyways–Cliff knows you! You’re fine with interrupting!“Yea, uh…” Replies the original greaser, the OG, if you will, in an uncertain tone, “I’m talkin’ about the BIG GUY, sis.”What, SANTA?“Pretty sure he means TIM, cupcake.”An icy finger runs down your spine as your mind flashes back to that fateful graveyard shift a few nights ago… that and the fiendish glow of TIM’S hooded eyes…Sonnovabitch, you snarl as you give the inside of the sidecar a good kick, he’s HERE?! Let’s waste him now!“Nah, he’s tuning in with some kinda magic.” Explains OG in a voice that implies he barely gets it either, “He can still see everyone an’ answer questions, so yea… not a good time.”“Yes, hello,” Sybil begins as she blinks into existence between you and the greaser, “Is there any way we can listen in without entering the camp?”“WOAH! Uh… hey there, sweetheart!” OG stammers as he recoils from the sudden interruption! Focus, creep! “Uh, sure you can–we’ve got a radio in Tony’s wheels broadcastin’ the whole thing if you wanna hear!”“It’s almost done, though!” Adds who you assume to be Tony as he holds a turned-off radio over his pompadour'd head. “You still wanna listen?”What’s the verdict, Stan?>NOT WORTH THE RISK–YOU’LL WAIT!>YEA, TUNE US IN!>YOU WANNA HEAR IT IN PERSON–TAKE US UP SNEAKILY, PLEASE!>WRITE-IN!
>>5345081>>YOU WANNA HEAR IT IN PERSON–TAKE US UP SNEAKILY, PLEASE!
>>5345081>YEA, TUNE US IN!We might miss more of it if we try to sneak closer.
>>5345081>YEA, TUNE US IN!
>>5345083>SNEAK ON IN!>>5345114>>5345139>TUNE US IN!Writing!
Of course you wanna listen–that goes without saying! You haven’t gotten an inside line into TIM’S plans in ages! Still, he’s nothing if not tricky, that one, so rather than charging in to get a look for yourself, you instead opt to snap your fingers a few times at Tony and his radio. Let’s go!Stumbling over your sudden and forceful command, Tony gets a grip on the radio and flicks it on with his bony fingers just in time to send a hauntingly-familiar cackle ringing out across the hills!https://youtu.be/IeYWfOXZp7Q“-ead WRONG! What do the humans have but more time to COWER in their insipid hidey-holes while my DARK PLANS come to fruition? I LAUGH at the insinuation! You should all laugh too! I COMMAND YOU!”As if on cue, all of the skeletons including your Atlantean Scholars burst into forced, albeit pretty convincing laughter! Woah.“Adequate! As I was saying, don’t be so MARROW-MINDED! Those pitiful humans may have defeated my LIEUTENANTS, true, but that changes nothing… look around you, I say! Look around at the TRUE driving force behind my malevolent machinations! You: the SURVIVORS! You: the ELITE! You: the shining vanguard of EVIL who will make them all RUE the day they neglected to crush you into dust! It is by their own weak and PITIFUL humanity that they continue to cling to life… and it is your LACK of it that will deliver our final victory over this wretched world!”“He seems to be rallying his remaining forces…” Sybil whispers as everyone else listens intently. Yea, you growl, and it sucks! He hasn’t mentioned you once!“Though you may fall, you can rise anew!” Booms TIM’S shrill, but commanding voice through the radio’s speaker! “And for every one of them you slay, our numbers grow! Already the TOWER OF BONE swells with ESSENCE and BONE, so let them howl and scratch at our walls, I say–our hour draws near, and with every second their dwindling forces weaken with fatigue and hunger! Even now their own plot against them–looting and pillaging their own streets out of fear and panic! And as they rally their forces with one final push, they will only succeed in snuffing out their remaining men like a wave crashing against you: mighty boulders standing strong for all eternity!So REJOICE, my legion of the damned! Be merry this night, for tomorrow you will all return to the CITADEL in preparation for THE FINAL BATTLE! But know this, my loyal skeledogs of war: though this may be the curtain call for this pitiful burg, it is but the first step in a long and GLORIOUS journey to complete and utter victory!”And with that both the hot rods and the radio explode with raucous cheering! Even LY remains eerily silent during the whole thing!“Well,” Sybil huffs as you and the rest of your living pals watch in silent terror, “They certainly know how to play the part, hm?”>CONTD.
>>5345209A few minutes later a hush falls over the crowd as the speaker of the hour no doubt motions for silence. MAN this guy can talk!“Be ready to act tomorrow, my loyal minions, and BONE’T falter–a cornered animal is a dangerous foe, and HUMANS are the most deceptive of them all… BONE VOYAAAAAAAAAAAGE! Now if only I could turn this accursed thing off..”With that the radio goes silent save for a few murmurs here and there. After a minute or so of silence, an unfamiliar voice emerges from the receiver. “... yep, I think that’s it, folks. We’re gettin’ the all-clear on this end.”The cold chill lifts from the air around you as everyone returns to relative normalcy. As Tony places the radio back where he retrieved it from, OG looks at you with a shrug of his leather jacketed shoulders.“You heard ‘em, kid. You ready to party?”You respond with a round of devilish laughter–you’ve never been MORE ready, dude!“That’s the ticket, baby! Let’s get you guys in, then!”Sending a shrill whistle into the air, the rest of the hot rodders saddle up as their car engines roar to life! Daring to glance at where the MERMAID SMUT RAG dropped, an arrow of fear pierces your chest as you find it missing from the ground!https://youtu.be/pT4FY3NrhGgNo… NO!“You stayin’, Stan?” Gus asks as his stoic voice rouses you from the abject terror washing over you! “Might take a little longer to get up there.”Who do you wanna ride with the rest of the way?>GUS!>MITZ, ART, AND SYB!>KIKI, DENISE, RODHI, AND TEEVOR!>EDDIE, TUCKER, AND TALBOT!>OG AND SOME OF THE SKELETON GREASERS!>WRITE-IN!
>>5345210>MITZ, ART, AND SYB!
>>5345210>>MITZ, ART, AND SYB!
A chilling reminder that there may be limits to our bony rebellion. More than a little worried that when push comes to shove we're going to have to smoke a lot of friends.
Having had your fill of the bike, you hastily disembark and give Gus a wave. You’re gonna go the last leg with Syb and the others, kay?“You bet. Thanks for riding.” Gus replies with a faint smirk. “Let’s not keep them waiting, shall we?” Syb asks with a warm smile as she wraps her arm around your shoulder. Letting her lead you to the jeep, you exchange looks with a very rattled Art as he wordlessly hands you back your CHRISTY-MODDED RADIO.“... Blumenkrantz knows.”Plopping into the seat next to him, you give your Rent-A-Cop pal a steadying pat on the shoulder pad. Leadership, right? Gotta love it!“Nice moves with the smug rag, by the by.” Mitzi remarks as she points to your unfastened seatbelt without looking back. “Guess that’s what you call a ‘booby trap’, huh?”You don’t get it, but that’s never stopped you before! Moving to fasten the belt, you’re stopped dead in your tracks when an icy, prickling sensation stings the back of your neck.“Oh don’t worry, Stanley–I’ll take the middle seat. You may enjoy the window!” Sybil explains with a cheerful smile on her pale face! Uh, sure, you nod, scooting over for her to take the spot next to Art, if she wants BITCH SEAT then she can have it!“Appreciated~”The Goth chirps as she settles in next to Art. Rolling your eyes out the window, you hastily buckle your belt as Mitzi impatiently clears her throat from the front. Once settled in, the whole wagon train starts up the hill once again!“So Blumenkrantz says the whole LODGE is on lockdown.” Art explains as you pass deeper into the trees. “Guy’s worried that our wholesale slaughter of TIM’S LIEUTENANTS is gonna trigger some serious backlash.”“Seriously?” Mitzi asks in a faux-surprised tone! “For once I’m actually glad to have a paranoid psycho as Head of Security…” Art sighs as he looks out his window. “So anyways, everyone’s being recalled: patrols, rescue teams, even those VOLUNTEER SCOUTS they were sending out to make up for lost squads.”“Sounds like pure chaos.” Sybil says with a frown.“Yep, they’re gonna be stuffed in there like sweaty sardines.” Mitzi remarks as she brings the jeep past two guard treehouses bordering the winding road. “Wouldn’t want to be keeping the peace in there tonight, that’s for damn sure.”“Well between the barrier, Curt’s buddies, and security, at least we don’t have to feel bad about missing out.” Replies Art with a weary shrug. “Which is good, cuz’ I really don’t want to drive back into town tonight…”“Well we’ve already committed to this event–we might as well enjoy it.” Sybil adds.Jeez, would it kill them to be a little more enthusiastic!?>CONTD.
>>5345338Climbing higher into the forested hills, you instinctively draw your CHINCHILL PUMP-ACTION when you hear the low thrum of propellers overhead! Aiming your weapon at the source of the noise, you nearly drop it when you see what’s causing the ruckus!A refurbished military chopper buzzes overhead–one that looks more like a troop transport than an attack bird, not that you know much about that, of course! Painted all black save for the classic greaser hot rod flames on the nose, the chopper dips a bit as its skeletal passengers hoot and wave at you from behind a mounted gun turret!“Shit,” Mitzi mutters as she honks her horn a few times in response, “Guess these guys still have some hardware lyin’ around, huh?”No kidding! Waving as the bird soars back into the air, you immediately unbuckle your seatbelt when your convoy emerges into a clearing! Where there was once a dinky, run-down DRIVE-IN now sits a veritable fortress–its perimeter marked by concrete walls with shooting positions on top, and the inside… https://youtu.be/jGdlRtR2z3EBuilt around the DRIVE-IN building are countless tents, RVs, and big rig trucks amidst a sea of lights burning in the night like fireflies! Vehicles of all shapes and sizes from hot rods to military APCs tear rubber around the fort–some even skidding past your group excitedly mashing their horns! Gunshots and rockabilly music barely drowns out the chatter of the countless skeletons within–the boneheads skittering around the camp like ants in an anthill!“How the HELL didn’t we hear all this?” Art mutters as he stares wide-eyed in disbelief.“I’m… not sure…” Sybil adds.“Hey, I think I see a dance floor down there!” Mitzi observes as she jabs a finger at what appears to be a newly-erected stage near the Drive-In projector screen! “I’m THERE, man.”Still stunned by the sensory overload, you barely notice as your convoy passes through a metal gate big enough to stop a tank shell or two. Seeing a skeleton soldier motioning her to stop, Gus, Mitzi, and the others dutifully bring their cars to a stop as a handful of sharpshooters watch you through their rifle sights and the gate closes behind you!“Well well well, guest of honor, I take it?” Drawls a soldier as Mitz rolls down her window for him. “Cliff’s still takin’ care of some things, but we’ll give y’all the run of the place after we do a quick inspection.”UUUUUGH, how long is this gonna TAAAAAKE?!>CONTD.
>>5345342Sure enough, the gate guards waste no time in sweeping all of your vehicles. Peering under and around your cars, one exceptionally-thorough soldier sends his bony K-9 over to sniff things out.“They’re clean, boss.” The dog reports in a gruff, disciplined tone. Nodding, the soldier who stopped you exchanges a thumbs up with the sharpshooters, prompting one of them to whisper a few orders into a nearby radio. As the gate in front of you trundles open, your entourage is buffeted by a rush of sound and scents–mainly food, firearms, and flapping gums.“You’re cleared, Parble.” Concludes the soldier with a polite salute. “And let me just say it’s an honor and pleasure to welcome you to the Drive-In!”https://youtu.be/m-a6ct8aalgWith that he and his squadmates usher you into the chaos of the party! Almost immediately upon entering, your train is greeted by a horde of skeletons–greasers, pirates, soldiers, hell, some of them don’t seem to have any affiliation at all! Clambering onto your jeep, you’re immediately dogpiled with beers, fresh Drive-In chow, and markers–the latter clearly for autographs. “Better start signing, boss!” Art shouts as your hijackers start shoving limbs, jackets, helmets, and other doodads into your face to sign! “Otherwise we’re never gonna park!”You were just planning on leaving these dorks to fend for themselves, to be perfectly honest, but he’s right–you might wanna get some of this out of the way now so that you can actually enjoy yourself!Not that signing autographs and getting free drinks isn’t enjoyable, of course!ROLL 1d100 TO SEE HOW GOOD YOU ARE AT SIGNING SHIT! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!ALSO FOR A FOLLOW-UP QUESTION:HOW MUCH OF THE OFFERED BEVERAGES DO YOU DRINK? DON’T WORRY–YOUR DUMB FRIENDS ARE BEING OFFERED STUFF TOO!>TAKE ONE AND SIP IT! NO NEED TO GO NUTS YET!>CHUG A FEW TO BE POLITE!>DRINK IT ALL! DRINK IT AAAAAALLL!!!!>WRITE-IN!
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>5345345>CHUG A FEW TO BE POLITE!
Calling it here for tonight, folks, got some plans starting in a bit. Should have more for ya WEDNESDAY AROUND 10-11AM PST! See you at the party!
Rolled 36 (1d100)>TAKE ONE AND SIP IT! NO NEED TO GO NUTS YET!Big day tomorrow. Maybe check with Nats and see if we have a demon liver now?
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>5345345>CHUG A FEW TO BE POLITE!I feel like Stan is the kind of person who has spent time practicing her signature for when she becomes famous.
>>5345381My first 100. It’s beautiful…Where’s that anon who rolled three ones last thread? I want him to see how you do it.
>>5345381Turns out Stan is abnormally good at signing autographs
>>5345406I’d like to see what Bones will cook up for this one hundred. How do you write up a supercrit on autograph signing?
>>5345419>How do you write up a supercrit on autograph signing?You get that shit framed in a local restaurant
>>5345381>>5345382one-anon reporting in. You dun good, anon... you dun very good.
>>5345428To hear it coming from you makes my day. Thanks, famalam.
>>5345419Clearly it's so good that it pushes back Tim's control, they literally have Stan's name on them.
>>5345354>>5345375>>5345381>HIGHEST ROLL: 1-fucking-HUNDO>Stan nearly dies in a duel with a pissed-off turkey>Absolutely KILLS it at autographing shitNever change, you guys. Never change.Writing!
With a permanent marker and a free drink in hand, you waste no time in giving your adoring fans what they want! Downing your first cup of what tastes like beer, you quickly fall into a rhythm like you’ve been doing this shit your entire life: drink, sign, drink, sign. Like a well-oiled (or well-boozed in this case) machine, you barely flinch at the rabid horde of skeletons and their belongings: whether it’s a helmet, a cutlass, a gun, or even a bone, you approach each and every autograph with masterful flair!Curlicue letters. Shoutouts and thankful messages. You even draw a few cat faces and hearts on some of them–they friggin’ LOVE it! “Holy cow, you’re still going!?” Nats remarks as you empty another beer!“Holy crap, you’re still going!?” Asks Art as Syb and Mitz watch in silent awe.You don’t bother to respond–you’re in the groove, after all! Though a dull ache slowly spreads through your signing arm, you don’t falter, and before long the crowd around you thins as the skeletons make way for you to pass through!“Thanks, kid!” Shouts one of your fans as your motorcade turns to head towards a GARAGE situated on the outskirts of the fort, “You da’ best!”“Arrr, she be approachable fer’ one so famous!” Remarks a pirate skeleton!“Stan’s da’ cat’s meow, baby!” Hoots a pompadour’d skeleton!Giving your fans a few shots from the GUN FINGERS, you slump back into your seat as the signing frenzy finally catches up with you!“Jeez, Stan–feels like I’m driving a movie star around…” Mitzi laughs from the front seat. “Say, can I get an autograph too after this?”“Nice to see your deeds have finally caught up with you, isn’t it?” Sybil adds with pride as she pats your head! Damn right it is!“Definitely worked out dat’ arm, too!” Ly announces as you approach the distant garage! “Not bad at all, kiddo!”TEMPORARY BUFF: AUTOGRAPHER’S ARM! FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT YOU’LL GET A +5 BONEUS TO ANY ACTION REQUIRING YOUR RIGHT ARM! PHEW!As the fame-induced haze slowly fades along with the cheering behind you, you notice that in all the confusion and chaos, something ELSE was signed back there… and by that we mean PLASTERED with signatures!SO MUCH SO THAT IT’LL GET A PERMANENT +5 BUFF! WHAT IS IT, FOLKS?>YOUR BACKUUM!>YOUR CHINCHILL PUMP-ACTION!>YOUR ROCKET LAUNCHER!>YOUR REMOTE-CONTROLLED DUCK!>YOUR TELESCOPING MOP!>YOUR EVENING SANITATION COORDINATOR CAP OR COVERALLS!>ART!>MITZI!>SYBIL!>WRITE-IN!
>>5345916The mop is clearly the smart decision but Mitzi is fucking hilarious> MITZI!
>>5345916>>ART!I'm going for ART so he doesn't die! CRIT IMMUNITY BITCHES!
>>5345916>MITZI!She did ask for a signature.
>>5345925>>5345930>>5345964>>5345982>BEST GIRL, MAYBE. I HAVEN'T POLLED THAT IN A WHILE>>5345933>BEST DEAD MAN WALKINGTalk about a 'MITZ'd opportunity, am I right? Ha ha ha. Anyways, we ritin'
Errr, Mitz, you mutter as you slowly notice the tangled mass of signatures scrawled all over her body armor, you think she got her wish…“Huh? Woah, neato.” Remarks the Rent-A-Cop as the realization suddenly dawns on her. “I look like the walls of a mental patient’s cell, huh?”It does look pretty cool, you reply with a thoughtful nod. Pretty cool…“Look, Art–signatures from people from countless backgrounds!” Sybil observes excitedly! Leaning over to take a closer look, you can see what she means: names of all shapes, sizes, and lengths cover the security goon’s armor–some short and sweet, others lengthy and in letters that can’t be English!Between the soldiers, pirates, and other boneheads that mobbed you, there’s gotta be over one-hundred names and messages on there! “Mitzi, I believe your body armor might have just become an anthropological treasure…” The Goth mutters with a mixture of pride and confusion.MITZI WILL NOW GET A PERMANENT +5 BONEUS TO ALL OF HER ROLLS! ATTA’ GIRL!“I’m more impressed that you didn’t notice you were being drawn on.” Art adds with a slightly jealous look on his face.“Uhhh, driver’s gotta watch the road, pal.” Mitzi retorts irritably as she jabs a finger at the path ahead of the jeep. “Safety first.”“Sure… say, you wanna trade armor?” Art asks with growing eagerness! “I’ll buy you a drink!”“Yea, lemme think about it.” Mitzi replies with a smug grin on her face as your wagon trail stops in front of a waving skeleton clad in grease-soaked coveralls. “Alright, thought about it: nah.”Ha, you snort, he probably wouldn’t even fit in her armor anyways! Dingus!“Yea well my fist will have no problems fitting down your throat, you gremlin!” Art counters, prompting the two of you to engage in an impromptu kickfight!“Stop i-STOP IT!” Roars Sybil as Mitzi shuts off the engine. “At least until I’m out of the way, please…”>CONTD.
>>5346169Allowing Syb to blink out of the car, you give Art a warning glare before moving to leave yourself. What a coward, hiding behind his amazing girl like that. Truly a sickening creature, that Art.“Looks like you guys are already having a good time.” Tucker observes as your team convenes outside of the garage. “Hell yea, we are. Check it out, Keek.” Mitzi commands, prompting both the Keek in question and Eddie to pour over her new threads.“Yea, what the hell!?” Talbot adds as he stumbles out of the back of the van, “We didn’t get mobbed at all!”Maybe next quest, buddy! Sending a smug grin his way, you take the opportunity to look around at the mechanics flitting around the vehicles like worker ants! Why the hell did we stop here anyways? The booze and stuff is back near the center!“Hey, kid.”Whirling around to face the deep, but familiar voice, a smile creeps onto your face as you recognize the burly, pompadour’d skeleton wearing an unmistakable WHITE T-SHIRT! Scampering over to the big lug, you launch yourself into his broad chest as you shout out his name:WYATT T!“The one an’ only.” Wyatt replies with a soft chuckle. Wrapping you in a hug, the greaser lets you down after a few seconds and smiles as his eyes rest on your trusty van. “Ole’ girl’s treatin’ ya’ well, huh?”Yep, you chirp as Wyatt’s goons flock over to get a closer look, it sure as hell beats walking!“Might I just add, Mr. T, that it drives really smooth!” Eddie adds, prompting a confused look from one of your favorite greasers.“These yer new friends, Stan?”Uh-huh, you nod as you scan your lineup of pals. They’re all a part of the crew!“Keen. Glad y’all could make it.” Wyatt adds before noticing Gus’ delivery bike. “Nice wheels.”“Thanks.” Gus nods. “Nice van.”“Thanks.” Wyatt smiles. “You a gearhead?”“Sure.” Replies the delivery guy.“Cool.” Wyatt concludes.“Uh-oh, I smell a friendship coming on…” Ly remarks.>CONTD.
>>5346174So, you interrupt, tearing Gus and Wyatt away from each other’s eyes, what’s on the menu tonight anyways?“Lessee…” Wyatt thinks aloud as you all take in the sights in the lit-up drive-in, “Drinks, lots of ‘em. Food too, if you’re hungry–they got a whole thing goin’ down at the CONCESSION STAND. Pretty sure some drinking contests are there too. PAULIE’S there too.”“Hell. Yes.” Talbot grins, exchanging eager looks with Kiki!“By the projector they’ve got the DANCE FLOOR– I ain’t big into that stuff, but if you are, well…” Shrugs Wyatt.“Heck yea, we are!” Laughs Mitzi as she tugs at both Denise and Sybil’s shoulders! “C’mon, ladies!”“B-b-b-but I h-have a c-condition!” Protests the geek as Mitzi drags her down the hill with Syb in tow!“GUN RANGE is down there–think I saw some of those COWBOYS down that way. Prizes, too.” Wyatt continues, prompting Tucker, Art, and Eddie to scurry off like kids at a theme park.“An’ then there’s the ARENA:” The greaser concludes, pointing to a burning circle in the middle of a crowd of cheering skeletons in the parking lot. “Been there a few times now–you get gloves and you try to knock each other outta the ring. Easy. Unless you’re up against those crazy PIRATE BROTHERS, that is.”“Shiiit, might wanna head there, actually…” Talbot remarks as a vicious glint appears in Kiki’s bang-obscured eyes!“This here’s the GARAGE, of course. We’ll tune up your rides so they’re purrin’ tomorrow.” Continues Wyatt with pride in his voice. “Stripes is givin' everyone HELICOPTER RIDES here too, if you wanna wait by that landin’ pad over there.”“I’ll stick around here, Stan.” Gus declares with a hint of excitement in his stoic voice. “Might learn a thing or two.”“When you guys get too tired, there’s TRAILERS down the hill there.” The greaser adds, pointing to a massive cluster of mobile homes parked in the outskirts of the fort. “They’re all up for grabs–just write yer name on the front so no one barges in, yea?”“Better than sleepin’ in a car or somethin’, huh, cupcake?” Ly remarks.“Oh yea, Cliff wanted ta’ chat once he’s done takin’ care of stuff.” Wyatt mutters as if just remembering it. “You’ll find him in da’ MAIN OFFICE.That might have been the most you’ve ever seen Wyatt talk, but it got the job done! Good work, man!“Thanks. Been practicin’.”>CONTD.
>>5346181Having gotten the 411 from good ole’ Wyatt, you watch as all of your friends disperse among the attractions save for Teevor and Rodhi, who look just as bewildered as they did when you showed them a car for the first time.“Well, erm…” Teevor remarks in a slightly shaky tone, “I suppose we can stay here and learn a thing or two about primitive combustion engines, yes?”“Mhm…” Rodhi nods nervously. “I’m intrigued by that flying apparatus we saw before, too…”With everyone more or less off doing their own thing, you’re just about to find something to do yourself when you feel a sharp-clawed something clamber up your back!“Woah, trash panda.” Wyatt observes as your ‘pet’ makes herself at home on your shoulder. “Reminds me of you, Stan.”He’s gonna have to explain his reasoning, you snarl, VERY carefully!“Looks cute an’ cuddly ‘s all.” The greaser shrugs with an unflappable look on his bony face. “Careful she doesn’t get ran over around here, dig?”You dig, you stammer, still taken off-guard by the sudden compliment. Turning to ask where your first hellish adoptee was this whole time, you recoil in fear as the raccoon holds the MERMAID SMUT in its jaws with a menacing grin on her fuzzy face! Before you can protest, the fiendish critter stuffs the book back into your pocket before curling back up on your shoulder! Sneaky little goblin!“So where are we going first, sis?!” Asks Nats as she practically froths at the disembodied mouth! “Can we do it all?! Will we do it all!? Why are we gonna meet first, huh?!”“Better hurry up, Stan–kid’s gonna explode if dis’ keeps up…” Ly warns with a smile in his tone! Yea, yea, you reply with a smile of your own, she doesn’t have to tell you twice!As you contemplate your options, you feel an uncanny sensation drift through your head–one that tells you that you might not get a chance to relax like this again for a while! With that in mind, you START with:DRINK STATUS: BASICALLY SOBER!>GRAB SOME FOOD AND DRINK AT THE CONCESSION STAND! (HAULIE-PAULIE)>HIT THE DANCE FLOOR! (SYB, MITZI, DENISE)>CHECK OUT THE GUN RANGE! (TUCKER, ART, EDDIE, GRAMPS? JOPLINERS?)>PEEK AT THE ARENA! (TALBOT, KIKI, ANDRE AND MARQUIS?)>STICK AROUND THE GARAGE FOR A WHILE! (GUS, TEEVOR, RODHI, WYATT)>WAIT FOR A HELICOPTER RIDE! (STRIPES)>CLAIM A NICE TRAILER! BEAT THE RUSH!>LINGER AROUND THE MAIN OFFICE! (CLIFF)>WRITE-IN!
>>5346184>HIT THE DANCE FLOOR! (SYB, MITZI, DENISE)Have Ly and Nats appear to do a three man dance! Either or.>>>/gif/23124618https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99dVb6Wu_aI
>>5346286>>5346184+1 YES support
>>5346286Ly's ability to do that got taken away, maybe Nats can do some stuff though.
>>5346184>HIT THE DANCE FLOOR! (SYB, MITZI, DENISE)Why not? Do this first.
>>5346316>>5346316I guess that makes this a bit tricky.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSgeOaurLO0https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qKWRUpYvFzY&t=1565s
>>5346286>>5346312>>5346365>HIT THE DANCE FLOOR!Writing!
>>5346184>PEEK AT THE ARENA! (TALBOT, KIKI, ANDRE AND MARQUIS?)Doubles with Talbot in the Arena anyone?
You’re not exactly dressed for dancing, but that’s never stopped you before! You CAR NERDS have fun now, you say to Gus and Wyatt as you make your way towards the sound of booming tunes, this girl’s got some dancin’ to do!“Have fun.” Gus says with a warm smile.“Yep.” Wyatt adds with a lazy wave. Teevor and Rodhi are already waist-deep in car parts by the time you head down the hill.Weaving past the rows of bonfires and makeshift stalls set up around the drive-in, you take your time greeting the groups of skeletons situated around them on your way down! Though they don’t bug you for autographs, you do get a few pats on the back and even a free drink or two! Score!You feel the dance floor before you even see it. Towers of speakers boom tunes across the whole Drive-In with enough volume to make your head rattle as you approach!“Guess these guys don’t gotta worry about eardrums, do they?” Ly remarks as you squeeze past a perimeter of drinkers and wallflowers. WHAA?“Nevermind, kid. Have fun.”“YES PLEASE! SHAKE IT, SIS!” Nats shouts, clearly already enjoying herself!You don’t NEED a gun right now, but okay! Stepping onto the disco floor, you subconsciously start moving your hips to the beat as you take stock of what little you can see in the flashing rainbow of lights!A MAKESHIFT BAR sits on the edge of the floor operated by a few enterprising skeletons who seem to be doing it out of boredom rather than actual assignment. You don’t see any familiar faces there, but that’s never stopped you from grabbing a drink before!Thanks to the chaos of moving bodies and bumpin’ tunes, you can’t find your pals anywhere! This ALWAYS happens, damn it–you really need to start putting a bell on Syb or something when you go out!Getting jiggy with it where you stand, you contemplate your next move as the tunes reverberate throughout your skull!DRINK STATUS: YEP, STILL SOBER!>JUST DANCE HERE! YOU’VE GOT LY AND NATS, WHO CARES ABOUT THE OTHERS!?>TRACK DOWN SYBIL! SHE KNOWS HOW TO MOVE IT!>FIND MITZI! SHE SEEMS LIKE A FUN GAL TO DANCE WITH!>SNIFF OUT DENISE! IF SHE SNUCK OFF ALREADY…>HIT THE BAR–YOU GOTTA LOOSEN UP FIRST!>COME BACK HERE LATER–YOU’VE GOT A FEW OTHER PLACES TO CHECK OUT!>WRITE-IN!FOLLOW-UP QUESTION: WHAT MUSIC IS PLAYING? REMEMBER, YOU GAVE THESE GUYS A WHOLE COLLEGE RECORD STORE’S-WORTH OF TUNES!>WRITE-IN THE SONG!
>>5346410>SNIFF OUT DENISE! IF SHE SNUCK OFF ALREADY…Let’s give her a hand for once. It’s a party after all.
>>5346410>SNIFF OUT DENISE! IF SHE SNUCK OFF ALREADY…
>>5346410>TRACK DOWN SYBIL! SHE KNOWS HOW TO MOVE IT!A Space Age Love Song - Flock of Seagullshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOK3rqVgN2IBlack Tide - Warriors of Timehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VKCLohLM48Cliffs of Dover - Eric Johnsonhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiRn3Zlw3RwDweller on the Threshold - Van Morrisonhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhdUha-ecBcExpose - Come and Go with Mehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGi3AvfFfuAFalco - Der Kommissarhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-bgiiTxhzMGeorge Benson - Give Me The Nighthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imYJpr09IgQHank Williams - Hey Good Lookin' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PqfDyPAcBwIt's My Life - No Doubthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpUgcEc3iLwJustice - D.A.N.C.E.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy1dYFGkPUEKing Crimson - 21st Century Schizoid Manhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLstJH23p7kLed By Lanterns - Alive (feat. Tobi Duncan of Trash Boat)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBoOIftnCAIMarty Robbins - Big Ironhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzICMIu5zFYNo Que No - Rigo Tovarhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_q_VRfz5PIO-Zone - Dragostea Din Tei https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnopHCL1Jk8Peanut Butter Jelly - Galantishttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jBDnYE1WjIQuiereme - Los Bukishttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUQZILrshZwReal McCoy - Another Nighthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pav2f4b-1ZESlamalists Reinjamnation - Quad City DJs vs. Shoji Megurohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHOYasiebE4Twisted Method - Shinehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mEinQlCcR0Under Pressure - Queen & David Bowiehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoDh_gHDvkkVarsity - "Reason To Run"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UxgHWDIoNMWe like to Party! - Vengaboyshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Zbi0XmGtMwYashua - Flyday Chinatownhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5syUvHEQcv8ZZ Top - La Grangehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vppbdf-qtGU
>>5346501Hell YEA, anon! I asked for tunes and you friggin' DELIVERED! Props to the King Crimson and ZZ Top.>>5346477>>5346500>SNIFF OUT DENISE!>>5346501>SCOUR FOR SYBIL!Looks like we're DORK HUNTING! ROLL ME 1d100+5 (+5 BUNNY SUIT, +5 DEMON STRENGTH, -5 CRAZY-ASS DANCE FLOOR) TO TRACK HER DOWN! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 54 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5346546
Rolled 21 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5346546nat 1 and our embarrassing bunnysuit is revealed
Rolled 71 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5346546It's what I do.
>>5346547>>5346559>>5346560>HIGHEST ROLL: 76!Yessir, that'll do 'er! Writing!
>>5346559Down, boy! Down!
>>5346573My crit powers are a majestic force and I shall utilize them as such.
>>5346580You know not the strength you wield, fool! You will doom us all!
https://youtu.be/nHOYasiebE4The horde of undead dancers bursts into cheers as a new jam blasts its way across the Drive-In! Adjusting your hip-shakin’ rhythm accordingly, a chilling thought crosses your mind! Denise, you hiss under your breath, she’s probably totally losing it right now!“She ain’t much of a people person, true…” Ly remarks as you dance your way through the crowd! You don’t get it, Ly, you continue as you squeeze past a pair of skeleton pirates doing a jig, you’ve gotta find her!“That’s really sweet of you to look out for your friends, sis!” Adds Nats as a skeleton in army fatigues starts busting INSANE MOVES on the floor in front of you, “Let’s check up on her and dance a little!”It’s not that at all, you growl as you politely clap for the breakdancer, if she panics too much she might, like, pass out or something! That’d totally kill the mood! Plus guess who’d totally have to take care of her for the rest of the night?!“Ah… didn’t uh… didn’t think of that one! Ha ha…”Creeping across the dance floor like a rat through a particularly-colorful maze, you’re just about to give up and leave Denise to her inevitable demise when your rubber boots nearly slip on a wet patch of the floor! Damn it, you snarl, there’s always someone pissing on the dance floor!“Wait, Stan, NERVOUS SYSTEM’S givin' me a report here… Dat’ ain’t piss! It’s SWEAT!”Hot dog, he’s right! And wanting nothing to do with the stuff, the dancers around you avoid the puddles of sweat like the plague! Big deal, you shrug, these could belong to anyone!“Do skeletons sweat, though? I haven’t paid attention.” Asks Nat innocently.Hey, she’s got a point there! Tracking the pools like a particularly groovy bloodhound, you push past into a circle of dancers to find your quarry…GETTING JIGGY WITH IT!?“STAN!” Chirps Denise as she flails around the dance floor like a possessed scarecrow, “P-PLEASE JOIN ME!”Looks like some other skeletons beat you to the punch… Surrounded by a cadre of greaser gals and buccaneers, the dweeb actually appears to be having a GOOD TIME! Flabbergasted, you shake your groove thang over to her and ‘get down’ at a safe distance from the geek’s sweaty mop top!Denise, you observe as the two of you go to funky town, you’re not DEAD!“I KNOW!” She giggles as her oversized labcoat flops around with her spastic movements, “ISN’T IT G-GREAT!?”You can’t believe you’re thinking it, but seeing her this excited… well, it’s not terrible...>CONTD.
>>5346603SO, you shout as the music gets even louder, somehow, YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!?“YEA!” Giggles the scientist as she begins flailing around like one of those decorative inflatable tube men they have at used car dealerships, “I-IF I JUST TAKE IT EASY I SHOULD BE FINE! D-DID YOU SEE SYBIL? O-OR MITZI? ERRR, OR TALBIE?”There she goes using that nickname again… NO, you reply with a shake of your head, YOU HAVEN’T!“THAT’S OKAY!” Replies Dr. Venaas as she drops into some kind of Russian kick dance, “I’M J-JUST GLAD YOU’RE DANCING WITH ME!”She’d better be! Letting the beat take over, the two of you attract a small crowd of other dancers as you continue to shake it! HEY, you begin-“WHA?!” Denise shouts, craning her ear in your direction, “I-I’M AFRAID I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”“Yea, dis’ place ain’t exactly conductive fer’ a conversation, huh?” Ly muses as you reconsider what you’re actually trying to do.“Who needs WORDS when you’re on the DANCE FLOOR!?” Giggles Nats as she pronounces ‘dance floor’ like an old-timey starlet! “Let your BODY do the talking!”Yea, you’ll think about it. In the meantime, though, did you just wanna check in, or?>BRING DENISE OVER TO A QUIETER AREA TO TALK!>TAKE DENISE AND TRY TO TRACK DOWN THE OTHERS!>LEAVE DENISE AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE (MITZI? SYB?)>GO GRAB A DRINK AT THE BAR!>CHALLENGE DENISE TO A DANCE-OFF!>HEAD SOMEWHERE ELSE!>WRITE-IN!
>>5346605>TAKE DENISE AND TRY TO TRACK DOWN THE OTHERS!
>>5346605>BRING DENISE OVER TO A QUIETER AREA TO TALK!>GO GRAB A DRINK AT THE BAR!
>>5346676She needs some H2O in her or she'll die on the dance floor.
Calling it here tonight, folks--getting late on my end and I'm feelin' it. Should have more THURSDAY AROUND 10-11AM PST! Hope to see you then!
>>5346605>BRING DENISE OVER TO A QUIETER AREA TO TALK!>GO GRAB A DRINK AT THE BAR!Water Denise ofc
>>5346686>>5346676These. We must ensure the nerd is properly hydrated.
>>5346610>TRACK DOWN THE OTHERS WITH DENISE!>>5346676>>5346686>>5346748>>5346801>HEAD SOMEWHERE QUIETER AND GRAB A DRINK!Proper hydration is key, folks! Writing!
>>5347198As amusing as it is to watch Denise flail her arms around like a madwoman, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t a tad bit thirsty. Judging by the growing pool of sweat under her waifish body, you’re guessing she could use something too. Braving the blonde tornado that is Denise, you grab her firmly by the collar and shout/ask if she wants a drink!“AN E-EXCELLENT IDEA!” She shouts back as her frantic movements slow down somewhat, “IN ALL MY ‘BOOGYING’ I NEGLECTED TO CONSIDER THE AMOUNT OF ENERGY I’D BURN THROUGH–SOME ELECTROLYTIC-”YOU CAN JUST SAY ‘YES’, Y’KNOW! Leading her through the crowd towards the bar, you feel a slight tingle in your inner ear.“Hey, where’d da’ trash panda run off to?”You answer your skeleton with a noncommittal shrug–she’s probably off foraging for food or getting run over–she’ll find her way back eventually!Pushing through a maze of dancing skeletons, you finally manage to locate a clear section of the bar and unceremoniously drop the nerd onto one of the vacant crates being used as stools!“EYYYY, STANLEY, RIGHT?” Observes one of the bartenders as an exhausted Denise flops onto his bar, “BOSS SAYS YOUR DRINKS ARE COMPED TONIGHT AS LONG AS YA’ DON’T GO OVERBOARD!”You don’t even know the meaning of the word, you reply with a sly grin! “THAT’S THE SPIRIT, KID! WHAT CAN I POISON YOU LADIES WITH TONIGHT?”SHE’LL start with a tall glass of WATER, you begin, pointing a finger at Denise’s grinning, albeit near-comatose form next to you. “AND I’LL H-HAVE A BEER T-TOO!” She announces, raising a trembling, noodly arm into the air! “T-TO CELEBRATE!”Well damn, you blink, guess she’s having a beer too! You’ll have what she’s having!“GOTCHA, BOSS!” Nods the bartender as he slips below the bar. Peering over to see where he disappeared to, you feel a small, clammy hand land on your back!“Stanley, c-could I say something to you, please? Wh-while we’re alone?”Alarms go off in your head as you raise a hand motioning for her to stop–wait until the drinks arrive, dick!Something tells you you’re gonna need one…>CONTD.
>>5347298Plopping two frosty mugs of ale and a glass of ice water in front of you with a wink, the bartender escapes to another end of the bar as you take your drink and clink it against Denise’s. So, you begin in a wary tone before taking a swig, what’s up?Gulping down half the glass of water in one go, Denise adjusts her glasses a bit before giving you a determined sigh. “I… I know you don’t like me very much, Stanley.”You blink in response. About time she noticed!“A-and I get it:” She adds in a surprisingly confident tone! “I don’t read the r-room well, I t-tend to grate on people’s nerves, a-and my healthcare providers tell me I have a tendency to be somewhat neurotic.”Wow, you retort, those degrees of theirs really pay for themselves, huh? Taking her mug in hand, Denise guzzles half of the booze in one swig before slamming it back onto the counter!“And t-truth be told, for a long t-time I DESPISED you, Stanley… when you ruined Chess Club for me, I added you to the list of names on my R-REVENGE LIST… r-right near the top, actually.”Finishing her beer like a pro, the dweeb gives you a long, hard stare through her pizza-sized spectacles. “You… you did it all so EFFORTLESSLY, y-you know!? Playing Chess w-was the one thing my father and I h-had, a-and you just waltzed in and dashed everything I had w-worked for on the floor l-like a spilled plate of sp-sp-SPAGHETTI!”Sheesh, mean drunk, you mutter as the bar patrons around you start to stare. Okay, you nod, what’s her point here, exactly?“M-my point, Stan,” Continues the dweeb as she flags down a bartender for a refill, “I-Is that for a long t-time, THAT was my image of you… A d-destructive simpleton… a b-bully…”Receiving her second drink and taking another hearty sip, Denise lets out another long sigh before continuing. “But w-when I met you again, y-you proved me wrong… y-you may be rough around the e-edges, Stanley, but behind that pr-prickly exterior is a genuinely caring a-and brave woman… one that didn’t j-just spare me in that h-horrible laboratory, b-but also t-took me along as an a-ally even when I didn’t deserve it…”A shaky, but genuine smile slowly forms on the girl’s face. “So th-thank you, Stanley… for exceeding my expectations once again. A-and I know it’s t-tough–n-no one knows that better than I d-do–but I hope that o-once th-this is all over y-you’ll ch-change your m-mind about me… s-some day…”Giving your unfinished beer a polite clink, Denise finishes hers and gently pushes the empty mug over to the other side of the bar. “Th-that’s enough b-booze f-for me, h-ha ha…”Well… you mutter as you raise your drink to your lips, shit...>CONTD.
>>5347300Still recovering from the sudden bout of word vomit from your dance partner, you take another sip from your glass as you contemplate how exactly to respond.“Huh.” Ly remarks, “Ain’t dat’ somethin’.”“Wow, Stan…” Nats adds, “She really poured her heart out to you, huh?”“I-I’M SORRY!” The scientist sputters, “I-I ruined the mood, d-didn’t I? I always do that… L-look, Stanley, wh-why don’t we just talk about s-something else, hmm?”Well at least you can hear each other now, right? What do you tackle next?DRINK STATUS: STILL PRETTY SOBER. :C>APOLOGIZE FOR BEING SO FREAKISHLY GOOD AT CHESS-YOU DIDN’T MEAN TO RUIN IT FOR HER!>JUST TELL HER IT’S ALL GOOD AND CLINK THAT GLASS! NO NEED TO GO CRAZY HERE!>GIVE THIS SWEATY GOBLIN A HUG–SHE’S EARNED ONE!>CHANGE THE SUBJECT QUICKLY! NO TIME TO LOSE!>GIVE HER A NOOGIE! THE HELL IS SHE DOING DROPPING A BOMB ON YOU LIKE THAT?>WHOOPS, YOU GOTTA GO FIND SYB OR MITZ! BACK IN A BIT!>WRITE-IN!
>GIVE THIS SWEATY GOBLIN A HUG–SHE’S EARNED ONE!
>>5347301>>GIVE THIS SWEATY GOBLIN A HUG–SHE’S EARNED ONE!
>>5347301>GIVE THIS SWEATY GOBLIN A HUG–SHE’S EARNED ONE!But make sure we toss a stiff glare at anybody who takes too much notice.
>>5347318>>5347320>>5347335>HUG IT OUT, BITCH!Writing!
Giving the surrounding patrons a preemptive glare, you give Denise a long, hard stare before tackling her into a hug! Yelping in surprise, the scientist sits stunned for a moment as you briefly regret wrapping your arms around the sweatiest member of the team. Just when you’re about to release her and track down some paper towels for your arms, Denise returns your gesture with a shaky hug of her own!“H-heheh… O-okay…”Just… just quit being weird for a sec and accept the hug, you hiss, lingering in the embrace for a few more seconds. Jeez…“I kn-know I’m n-not the most helpful one on the team, Stanley,” She continues, “B-but wh-whatever happens tomorrow, I h-hope I can continue t-to assist in any w-way I can…”Well right now she can help by chillaxing, you respond, letting her free from your hug, so DO it!“Roger th-that!” Giggles Denise with a fake salute! “S-so should w-we track down the others, or?”Good question! What’s yer’ answer?DRINK STATUS: GUESS.>ASK HOW SHE PLANS TO HELP OUT TOMORROW!>INQUIRE AS TO HOW SHE AND TALBOT ARE DOING. HE WAS KINDA PEEVED AT HER BEFORE!>ANY UPDATES ON TRAITORS?>WHAT’S SHE PLAN TO DO ONCE THIS IS ALL OVER?>LET’S FIND THE OTHERS!>BE BACK LATER–GONNA DO SOMETHING ELSE REAL QUICK!>WRITE-IN!
>>5347359>WHAT’S SHE PLAN TO DO ONCE THIS IS ALL OVER?>LET’S FIND THE OTHERS!Find the other girls and have a dance-off.I bet she would get along with Teevor and Rohdi really well. Teevor’s mind was blow by Talbot’s symbiosis with the goodboynium IIRC, and Denise is the one that figured that out.
>>5347359>INQUIRE AS TO HOW SHE AND TALBOT ARE DOING. HE WAS KINDA PEEVED AT HER BEFORE!>LET’S FIND THE OTHERS!
>>5347375>>5347441>WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO AFTER THIS?>FIND THE OTHERS!>>5347382>YOU AND TALBOT COOL?>ALSO FIND THE OTHERS!Writing!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imYJpr09IgQFinishing your remaining beer, you sign the counter with your handy dandy PERMANENT MARKER in lieu of a tip before hopping off the makeshift barstool! C’mon, four-eyes, you mutter as you help Denise to her wobbly feet, let’s go track down the other party animals!“U-Use caution, Stanley…” She warns as you dive into the sea of dancers once again, “They w-were debating over who was the b-better dancer when we sp-split off…” Well THAT’S an easy question to answer, you reply, puffing out your chest with pride! All the more reason to track Mitz and Syb down! Without the help of any convenient piles of sweat, however, you’re forced to follow your FEMININE INTUITION!“...‘Dis is gonna take a while, ain’t it?”“Who CARES?! Listen to these tunes~!” Counters Nats as you scour the crowd for your dumb friends! So, you begin as you drag the dork through a crowd of skeletons sporting afros and funky clothes, what’s her big plan once you totally kick TIM’S ass, huh? Since, y’know, she doesn’t have a lab anymore!“True… well g-given the circumstances, It’d be a dream c-come true to survey that ATLANTEAN LAB y-you tracked down… from what I’ve gl-gleaned from Teevor and Rodhi, there’s a tr-treasure trove of information just waiting to be unearthed!”Well she’d better steer clear of the whole ‘DEMON SUMMONING’ variety, you warn, or you’re gonna enroll her in a free seminar on GETTING HER ASS KICKED! A full scholarship!“Yes, Teevor mentioned so-something similar…” Denise explains as you pass a quartet of tap dancers. “N-not my field of expert-tise, thankfully… now that OTHER technology, though…”The scientist grins from ear to ear. Well, you remark as you continue your search, she’ll have plenty of help from those two–that should speed things along, right?“I’m not so s-sure…” Denise replies with a slight frown. “Wh-when I asked if they would assist me once order is restored, they d-declined…”Well that’s stupid, you growl, what ELSE do they have going on after this!?“My thoughts ex-exactly… maybe they wish to learn more about human technology? They seemed quite enthralled with the car we rode up here…”You respond with a shrug. Nerds–you just don’t get ‘em!>CONTD.
>>5347502Just when you’re about to join a nearby conga line, you hear a familiar, perpetually-chill voice from deeper in the crowd!“-nd that cute little tooth of hers, right? Man-”Before you can connect the dots, some familiar faces do it for you: emerging from the crowd ahead, both Syb and Mitzi giggle before the latter gasps with faux-shock!“Uhh, do you mind, Stan? We’re having a PRIVATE conversation here.”“Top Secret!” Sybil adds with a snicker!Yea, very secret, dummies–they’re chatting in the middle of the friggin’ dancefloor!“Well shoot, ya’ got me there, boss.” Mitzi shrugs with a half-smile.“Jokes aside, I didn’t expect to see you down here so soon, Stanley!” Observes Sybil with a cheerful grin on her pale face! “What a pleasant surprise!”“Told ya’ she’d come sniffin’ around for me.” Laughs Mitz as she gives you a wink! “Just kiddin’. And hey, you even found Denny!” Giving the scientist’s bird’s nest hair a playful tousle, the Rent-A-Cop raises an eyebrow your way. “Didja see her moves?”“She’s fantastic!” Sybil adds as a big, dopey grin forms on Denise’s face. “We got separated when we obtained drinks, though–this is quite the dance floor!”“And here we are NOT dancing!” Mitzi groans impatiently! “What’s the deal?”The deal, you reply with a mischievous grin on your face, is that you heard they were trying to settle who the best dancer was…“Heard about that, huh?” Remarks Mitzi with a glint in her eye! “Well we’ve got a practitioner of the scientific method here–why don’t we put that theory to test?”“Let’s!” Sybil replies with a competitive spark in her voice! “It’s been a while since I’ve dragged Stanley to the club…”That’s because she kept taking you to the one with all the Goth people and big cages, you counter! This playing field’s even…er!“I’m st-still a little tired, so I can j-judge!” Denise announces, prompting a trio of hard glares her way.“Yea, nah–we’re gonna need someone impartial.” Mitzi replies before tapping a nearby skeleton biker on the shoulder. “Hey buddy, you and your pals wanna judge a dance contest?”“WOULD I!” Roars the skeleton!“Cool. We’re gonna hash out what I get when I win first, so don’t go away.” Giving the judge another friendly pat on the shoulder, Mitzi turns back your way with crossed arms and a predatory grin!“So, boss, what DO I get when I win?”“Rather, what do I get when I win, hm?” Counters Syb as she hip-checks the Rent-A-Cop out of the way!“Ooh boy, things are heatin’ up, sis!”Yea, you noticed.>CONTD.
>>5347503It takes you a few moments to go over the nitty-gritty's…QUESTION 1: WHAT ARE THE STAKES?!>WINNER GETS BOOZE!>LOSERS HAVE TO DO A DARE PROVIDED BY THE WINNER!>NO STAKES, JUST FUN!>LOSERS SHARE AN EMBARRASSING SECRET!>LOSERS BUY THE WINNER DINNER WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER!>WRITE-IN!QUESTION 2: WHAT SONG WILL STAN DANCE TO? WRITE-IN SOMETHING FUNKY OR RISK BONES CHOOSING SOMETHING STUPID! ALSO YOU’LL GET A +5 MODIFIER!>WRITE-IN STAN’S SONG!QUESTION 3: WHAT SONG WILL MITZI DANCE TO? WRITING IN SOMETHING FITTING WILL GIVE HER A -5 MODIFIER!>WRITE-IN MITZI’S SONG!!QUESTION 4: WHAT SONG WILL SYBIL DANCE TO? WRITING IN SOMETHING FITTING WILL GIVE HER A -5 MODIFIER!>WRITE-IN SYBIL’S SONG!
>>5347508>LOSERS HAVE TO DO A DARE PROVIDED BY THE WINNER!>STANhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NF-kLy44Hls>MITZIhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_fUftP91lc>SYBILhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-AI stan the Stan so ofc I gave everyone else unfitting songs. Someone do better than me.
>>5347508>LOSERS SHARE AN EMBARRASSING SECRET!Or>LOSERS HAVE TO DO A DARE PROVIDED BY THE WINNER!Whichever seems more popular. I’m down with either.>>5347570> I stan the Stan so ofc I gave everyone else unfitting songs. Someone do better than me.Don’t look at me, dude. My musical listening consists of classic rock and metal. That’s it.
>>5347595>>5347508Kek let's have them do both if they lose.I was gonna have Syb actually dohttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuJIqmha2HkAnd though it is a middle-finger at her gothiness, it isn't dance-party worthy.Based music tastes btw.
>>5347508>LOSERS SHARE AN EMBARRASSING SECRET!But alas, I lack culture to suggest songs.
>>5347597Alternatively, for Stan, I would've suggested:>1https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8f4lcwKz6g>2https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzlNFcT2aOE>3https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcnGOaIau1M&t=0s>4https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=suRsxpoAc5wBut Daft Punk has a hell of a vibe. And Stan needs some vibing after the Atlantean shitshow she just went through.Feel free to give some extra input, anons.
>>5347595>>5347597>EMBARRASSING SECRET AND DARE!>>5347598>JUST SECRET PLZNot bad song choices, folks, not bad at all... here's how it's gonna go, then: ROLL ME 1d100+15 (+5 SONG CHOICE, +5 BUNNY SUIT, +5 DEMON STRENGTH, +5 FENCER'S FEMURS, -5 TOUGH COMPETITION) TO STRUT IT! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!Once three rolls have been made, I'll roll 3d100 for both MITZ and SYB! BONEUSES and MALUSES are as follows:MITZ:+5 AUTOGRAPH BONEUS, YOU FOOLS!+5 TOMBOY TREADS (STUPID SEXY MITZI!)+5 ACTUAL DANCING EXPERIENCE! OH NO!-5 SONG CHOICE!SYBIL:+5 GOTH RACIAL BONEUS TO DANCING!-5 SONG CHOICE!Best of luck! Don't forget to include any DANCE MOVES you can think of! Stan's social life is at stake!
>>5347597> Kek let's have them do both if they lose.I’m down with that.>Based music tastes btw.Thanks. >>5347603I think I like number two the best here.It’s not exactly goth (not even close, really), but I think this might suit Syb a bit:https://youtu.be/stfn-WS3bE4This would be easier were I at home.
>>5347615We need to focus on leg work. We got Fencer’s Femurs and Emu Legs. That’s our best bet. Something with a lot of pirouettes and maybe a moon-walk or two.
Rolled 16 + 15 (1d100 + 15)>>5347615roll time-- my time to shine!
>>5347618Something like this?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zQm5jfiu4wDamn there's a hell of a dance-worthy song here.
Gonna call it here tonight, folks--getting tired and wanna be fresh and funky for whatever weird-ass dance routine I have to piece together in the next update. Seeya then!Also, word of warning: Sybil and Mitzi WILL be bringing their A-GAME!
Rolled 98 + 15 (1d100 + 15)>>5347618Forgot me dice.
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>5347615
The real question, can Mitz or Syb pull a 100?
>>5347644The answer: If either of them do, then Bones rigged this shit hard.
>>5347644How about can we pull some more ones?
Rolled 2, 16, 63 + 15 = 96 (3d100 + 15)>>5347619>>5347638>>5347641>HIGHEST ROLL: 113!Tough competition indeed... let's see how MITZI fares! 3d100+15, here goes! Syb's next!
Rolled 61, 28, 12 = 101 (3d100)>>5348200Ooh, not good enough! And now SYBIL! 3d100! I'll be writing after this roll!
>>5348201>>5348200Here's the dance moves.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbiOazijZVQ
Oh, you’ve got a bet for them, alright! And it’s got some CHEST HAIR! Losers, A.K.A THEM, you clarify with a cheeky grin, have to SHARE AN EMBARRASSING SECRET! And you mean ‘EMBARRASSING, not, like, something kinda funny!“Pssh, kid’s stuff.” Mitzi snickers as Syb muffles her own giggle with her hand. “Thought this was a party, Stan, not Kindergarten-”AND, you add in a menacing tone, the losers ALSO have to do… A DARE! AND THE WINNER DECIDES WHAT THAT IS!https://youtu.be/tPs2m9_7cls “Oh… oh dear.” Sybil mutters as fear grows in her eyes.“What’s up? You backin’ out already?” Asks Mitzi as she nudges The Goth in her ribs!“N-no,” She replies in a shaky voice, “I just know that Stan can get, erm, very creative when it comes to dares…”“No sweat, purp--she ain’t gonna win!” Laughs the Rent-A-Cop as she taps the skeleton judge on the shoulder again. “Hey pal, can one of your buddies take a few song requests up to the DJ?”“Arrr, ‘twill be a cold day in ‘ell fore BILLY BLINDEYE fails ta’ be deliverin’ a missive!” Boasts one of the biker’s pirate pals dancing next to him! “Sweet. Got a few songs for ya. You wanna go first, Stan?”Nah, you grin, you prefer to save the best for LAST!“Cool. Poke me when you and Syb have gone, then.”That’s NOT what you meant and she KNOWS it!>CONTD.
>>5348304By the time the song requests are set up, a massive crowd has already formed around your entourage.“Best of l-luck!” Cheers Denise as Sybil takes to the dance floor! Tightening the leather straps on her TALL-ASS GOTH PLATFORM BOOTS, she pauses to scan the crowd with an impatient frown on her face.“D’aww, is she looking for Artie? That’s a bummer!” Nats remarks as Sybil gives the DJ the signal to begin!“Wonder what kinda song she picked!” Ly adds as the lights dim around you! “Gonna be a hard act ta’ follow!”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-AOh.“... huh.”Swaying to the beat like a stalk of seaweed, you can’t help but be a little impressed by just how smooth Syb’s moves are. Like, if you didn’t know her better you’d think she was some kind of noodle/human hybrid!Stepping and twirling to the beat, Sybil’s certainly has the form down! Spinning around the circle, The Goth’s confidence grows with each step, and before long she’s got the whole crowd clapping to the unusually-cheerful beat!“Is… is this normal?” Asks Nats as Sybil shimmies across the floor!“Not fer’ her, nah…” Ly answers with noticeable concern in his voice. “They never played dis’ stuff at da’ Goth Clubs…”Despite the odd music choice, the girl OWNS it! Hand-jivin’ to the beat, your BFF sends a challenging glare your way before finishing with one final trick! Blinking out of view for a second, the crowd goes wild as Sybil reappears in the air and twirls all the way back down to the ground! Landing gracefully on her pointed toes, The Goth ends the song by flicking a hand through her hair before leaving the circle with a cocky smirk!Needless to say, the crowd LOVES it!“W-wOW!” Denise sputters while frantically-clapping, “Th-that was amazing, Sybil!”“Ohh, it wasn’t that good…” The Goth replies, covering up a giggle with her pale hand!“Pretty bold of you to do that aerial trick wearing a long sweater.” Mitzi remarks, prompting the small amount of color remaining on Sybil’s face to drain in shock. “Whatja think, boss? You nervous yet?”No-friggin’-way, you reply! But she’d better be!“Hey now, play your cards right and I’ll go easy on your dare, Stan.” Mitzi winks as Sybil slinks behind you and Denise still paralyzed with embarrassment. Crossing your arms impatiently, you raise an eyebrow at Mitzi as she takes a moment to stretch before entering the circle.Man, what a TRYHARD!>CONTD.
>>5348305Recognized immediately by the signatures all over her armor, the crowd immediately bursts into cheers as the terrible tomboy takes to the dance floor! Responding to them with a nonchalant wave like the total BITCH she is, Mitzi gives you and Syb a half-smirk as the next song begins!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_fUftP91lcIn typical Mitzi fashion, the Rent-A-Cop starts off slow–step, touch, step, touch… but with each move she makes, you notice a new addition, starting with a subtle sway of her hips. Adding her arms and torso into the mix, it’s not long before Mitzi’s moving everything--gyrating to the beat, she maintains a confident grin on her face as her movements captivate the whole crowd, even YOU!“Cripes,” Ly remarks as he watches her move, “She’s uh… she really knows how ta’ move it…”Still hypnotized, you respond with a weak nod as Mitzi moves around the circle timing her hip movements to the beat! As the crowd claps to her rhythm, the tomboy lingers in front of you to send a teasing wink your way–hey, that’s CHEATING!Departing before you can call her out, Mitzi puts her whole body into the final section of the song. Sybil was good, of course, but her… if Sybil’s a noodle, Mitzi’s a charmed snake! Probably those damned abs of hers. Stupid Mitzi.As the last few notes of the song trail off, the Rent-A-Cop finishes with the same poise and confidence she had going in. Shaking a single drop of sweat out of her cinnamon-colored hair, she gives the roaring crowd another half-hearted wave as she returns to your side of the circle smirking like she just remembered an old joke.“So,” she begins as a skeleton hands her a fresh bottle of beer, “Whatja’ think?”“I-I-IT’S SO HARD TO DECIIIDE!” Denise moans as she tugs at her frazzled hair! “Y-you’ve got the m-moves, Mitzi! J-j-jealous…”“Eh, it’s all in the hips.” Mitz shrugs, giving hers one more shake before chugging half the bottle. “Phew… hey, you wanna picture, Stan? It’ll last longer~”You don’t want anything, you counter as you quickly avert your eyes from your smug opponent! Except for her to promise not to CRY once you kick her butt!“Knock ‘em dead, boss. No pressure.” Ignoring her cheeky wink and Syb’s quiet giggle, you crack your knuckles as you make your way to the dance floor.“Hell yea, sis! You got this!” Nats chirps as the lights dim around you!“I know I don’t gotta say it, cupcake, but uh… don’t lose.” Ly adds in an unsure tone. Gee, THANKS.“G-GO S-STAN!” Denise hollers, prompting the skeletons around you to explode into cheers! Watching your adoring fans shower you with praise, a toothy grin forms on your face.Now that’s what you’re talkin’ about!>CONTD.
>>5348306https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NF-kLy44HlsYou hate to admit it, but you’re nowhere near as coordinated as Syb and Mitzi are, so you stick with your strengths! Swaying your hips to the slow beat, you let your legs do the talkin’ as the song gets started!Stepping in time with the beat, your BONEUSES give your legs and hips articulation you wouldn’t have otherwise, and as you shimmy and kick around the floor, it isn’t long before the rest of the crowd gets into it too!As the crowd starts to clap in rhythm, you bring your arms and torso into the dance too–shifting and swaying like your life depends on it! And it does, kinda!Taking a few chances, you mix in a few risky moves you remember from MeTube like that moonwalk move you always see people do!“Holy COW,” Ly remarks as you slide backwards along the flashy floor, “When did we learn ta’ do DAT?”Uh, never, you smirk, pirouetting into a series of hip thrusts! It’s all natural, baby!Losing yourself to the groove, you don’t even have to think about what you’re gonna do next–your movement becomes fluid as the crowd gets increasingly more hype, and as the song reaches its last few bars, you end your routine with a BANG!WHAT’S YOUR FINISHING MOVE?! NO ROLLS NEEDED!>THE TRADEMARK FLIP AND KNEE-SLIDE, OF COURSE!>GET UP IN MITZ AND SYB’S GRILLES!>YOU’VE GOT GUNS–FIRE SOME OF THOSE!>SPIN UNTIL YOU CAN’T SEE STRAIGHT!>WRITE-IN!
>>5348311>>THE TRADEMARK FLIP AND KNEE-SLIDE, OF COURSE!>>GET UP IN MITZ AND SYB’S GRILLES!
>>5348311> USE YOUR ELEMENTAL POWERS TO REALLY CRANK UP THE HEAT
>>5348311Standing doubleback flip to a front split.
Disregard this >>5348339Do both of these.>>5348314>>5348329I am the same anon, if that weren’t obvious.
>>5348314>>5348329>>5348373>THE CLASSIC>AND GET UP IN THEIR GRILLES>ALSO MAYBE ADD SOME FIRE TO IT>>5348340>FUCK IT, LET'S ADD THIS IN THERE TOO! WE CAN SLIDE AND SPLIT, THIS IS BONES QUEST, DAMN ITThat's the ticket, folks. Wouldn't be Stan without overwhelming amounts of rubbing it in your opponent's faces! Writing!>>5348373Same anon, huh? I'm watching you, punk! Tread carefully!
Empowered by the cheering crowd, you decide to go a little ‘nuts’ as they say and try a new twist on an old classic! Starting by taking a few steps back from where Mitz and Syb are, you wait for the right moment in the song before leaping into action–literally!“Hahaha, oh shit, here it comes!” Ly announces as you rush forward, but then push off the floor with both feet! Carried forward by your momentum, you tuck and lean into a backwards somersault… but not before flicking the ‘switch’ to activate your ELEMENTAL POWERS! Sending flames into the air mid-spin using your BONE CLAWS, you add an extra helping of icing on the cake by adding ANOTHER spin! As the crowd erupts in baffled cheers and both Syb and Mitz’ unflappable expressions become, well, flappable, you feel time slow to a crawl as you descend like a phoenix towards the floor below!Landing in a forwards-split made possible thanks to the handy articulation only COVERALLS and MAGICAL BUNNY SUITS can provide, you slide over to your opponents dragging your burning claws along the ground! Besides totally ruining the floor, you end the song panting in front of Syb and Mitz with a trail of fire behind you!For a moment, all is silent save for the gunfire at the range and the countless other partygoers, but you get the idea! Just when you’re about to tell the judge to get his shit in gear, he gets it!“Ladies and Gentlebones,” announces the biker as he strides over to your still-prone form, “We have a friggin’ WINNER!”Exploding into cheers, the audience doesn’t seem to have any problems with the results! Sharing a ‘what can ya do’ shrug, both Syb and Mitzi approach you along with Denise.“Th-that f-finale!” The geek gushes, looking to your two opponents for approval, “F-fantastic, Stanley! A-and the splits!”“Now THAT’S dancing!” Laughs Nats’ disembodied voice!“It’s definitely somethin’, ain’t it?” Remarks Ly.“Where did you learn those moves, anyways?” Asks Syb as she straightens out her sweater. “Your powers are new, of course, but-”But nothin’, you reply with a grin, they’re all-natural!“And, for what it’s worth, really cool.” Mitzi adds as a smile forms on her face! “You uh… you comfortable down there?”Nope, you’re stuck! Help, by the way. >CONTD.
>>5348484After being carefully lifted by your pals, you take a moment to catch your breath as the DJ resumes spinning tracks!https://youtu.be/Pav2f4b-1ZE“So,” Mitzi begins as you all resume groovin’ to the beat, “Guess we owe you a SECRET and a DARE, huh?”That’s right, bitch, and you want ‘em NOW! “Eerm, what’s first?” Asks Sybil as Denise lingers just close enough to eavesdrop! “A-and we have the ability to veto, right?”Wrong! Let’s start with those EMBARRASSING SECRETS, you command as you usher the losers over to a quieter area! And don’t even THINK of skimpin’ on the details or Ly will know!“I will!” Warns your skeleton’s disembodied voice! “Ready, Stan!”“It cool if I go first?” Asks Mitzi in a slightly less-confident tone than before. It very cool, you smirk! Lay it on me!“Alright, here goes…” Begins the tomboy with a short, steadying sigh. “No laughing, got it?!”No promises! GO!“Worth a try… so before I was all into water polo and swimming and stuff, I’d spend a lot of my time down at the beach.” She explains. “Musta’ been the Summer between eighth an’ ninth grade or something, so I was still kinda young, y’know?”Sure, you nod, struggling to imagine a younger Mitzi despite having gone to Summer Camp with her. Would she have pigtails? Braces? Flowers in her hair?“I went there alone to get away from sis and dad, but there were a few people hanging around. Being the beach an’ all, the water was a lot choppier than the pool, but I still thought I was bulletproof back then. So when I was swimming and saw a big wave coming, I didn’t really react… until it pushed me underwater into a rock.”“Oh no! W-what happened next?!” Asks Denise as she clasps her cheeks in shock!Yea, you nod, that’s not embarrassing at all!“I’m getting there, sheesh!” Groans the tomboy before continuing. “So naturally I blacked out… when I came to, though, I felt someone’s lips… pressed against mine.”You feel your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets! What the HELL!? What a CREEP!“I thought so too until I realized they belonged to the lifeguard!” Laughs Mitz as she sheepishly rubs the back of her neck! “So she pulled back once I woke up, yea? And she and some of the other bystanders were glowing red like tomato people or something!”“And um… why were they so embarrassed?” Asks Syb, clearly getting into it too!“That’s the thing…” Mitzi concludes, “When she was giving me mouth-to-mouth, I might have unconsciously reached around and, uh… grabbed her.”Oh.“Well…” Sybil stammers with a rapidly-reddening face, “Th-those reflexive actions happen all the ti-”“Aaand I might have made some noises when she was on top of me.” Sighs Mitzi, prompting everyone to go silent. “Yyyep. Big moment for ole’ Mitz.”>CONTD.
>>5348486As you all struggle to maintain an awkward silence with music booming in your ears, Sybil steps up to the plate to try and salvage things!“Now now, Mitzi… that might have been embarrassing at the time, but those kinds of things happen to everyone! Why-”“Yea, yea, quit stallin' and tell YOUR secret already.” Interrupts the tomboy with a malicious glint in her eye! “We’re waiting~”Yea, you nod eagerly! It’s her turn now!“I erm… I suppose it is, isn’t it?” Gulps Sybil as she loses a bit of her composure. “Well alright then… once when I was recording a podca-”EMBARRASSING. SECRET. What’s so hard to grasp, you snarl, smacking your fist against a nearby lamppost!As you, Mitzi, and even Denise start chanting the word ‘secret’, Sybil finally cracks with a high-pitched squeal/groan! A squroan!“Okay, OKAY! Stan…”Yeeeesss?“I erm… I…” She sputters, frantically checking around her as beads of sweat drip down her face, “P-promise you w-won’t t-tell Art?”No!“Just get it over with, purp. Feels better once you get it outta your system.” Mitzi adds impatiently.“IMAYHAVEHADAHUGEHUGECRUSHONYOURBROTHERWHENWEWEREGROWINGUPANDISTILLTOTALLYDIDBEFOREANDAFTERHEGOTMARRIEDOKAYI’MSORRYINEVERACTEDONITANDISTILLLOVEYOUASLIKEASISTERINEVERHADBUTOHMYGODSTANOHMYGOOODTHEWAYSUEWASALWAYSPRACTICINGMARTIALARTSANDGETTINGALLSWEATYIALWAYSTRIEDTOCOMEOVERWHENHEWASDOINGTHATBECAUSEMYGODHE’SSUCHASTALLIONSTANHE’SSUCHASTALLIONIMEANHOLYCRAPIWASALWAYSSOCLOSETOASKINGTOSPARWITHHIMSOTHATHECOULDTOSSMEONTOTHEPADSAN-”HOKAYYYY, you interrupt as you cut Sybil off with a chokehold, that was fun, wasn’t it? We had fun! Okay, time for dares–everyone ready for dares?!“Nope,” Replies Mitzi as she watches Sybil weakly flail in your grasp, “But let’s do it anyways...”“Grrck… F-forgive me…” Croaks Sybil as you tighten your elbow around her neck. Sounds good to you!“Are um… are we NOT going to talk about how Sybil could have been our sister-in-l-”“Just drop it, kid–it’ll only cause more damage…” Ly sighs as you chokeslam your best friend onto the ground! Sweet, stupid Sybil....>CONTD.
>>5348493 As she starts to fight back by kicking you in the stomach, you take a moment to consider what DEVIOUS DARES you have for these two!Q1: WHAT SHALL MITZI DO?>GET A BUNCH OF HARD DRINKS, MIX ‘EM TOGETHER AND CHUG ‘EM!>SPEND THE REST OF THE PARTY WITH NO ARMOR OR TANK TOP ON! PANTS ARE FINE!>FIND ONE OF THE GUYS AND SMACK HIM ON THE BUTT!>SING KARAOKE IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE DANCE FLOOR!>YOU’LL THINK OF SOMETHING LATER… BUT SOON!>WRITE-IN!Q2: WHAT SHALL SYBIL DO?>GET A BUNCH OF HARD DRINKS, MIX ‘EM TOGETHER AND CHUG ‘EM!>PULL YOUR SWEATER DOWN AND WEAR IT LIKE A KILT!>FIND ONE OF THE GUYS AND SMACK HIM ON THE BUTT! NO, IT CAN’T BE ART, CHEATER!>SING KARAOKE IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE DANCE FLOOR!>YOU’LL THINK OF SOMETHING LATER… BUT SOON!
>>5348496>SING KARAOKE IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE DANCE FLOOR!>SING KARAOKE IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE DANCE FLOOR!Double your pleasure? Double your fun?
>>5348496>>SING KARAOKE IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE DANCE FLOOR!>>SING KARAOKE IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE DANCE FLOOR!
>>5348537>>5348569>DUET KARAOKE!A duet it do! Writing! Start thinking of songs, you dinguses...
>>5348626Someone with more knowledge of cringey duets, it's your time to shine...
Releasing your death grip on Sybil’s throat, you let out a drawn-out sigh as your best friend gasps for air after giving you another kick!Your DARES, you begin in a sinister tone, should you choose to accept them-“Can we choose not to?” Asks Mitzi as Sybil slowly rises to her feet.No, you can’t! Now shaddap! Like you were saying, you huff, you DARE them…TO DO KARAOKE! “Wait, really?” Gasps Sybil as both she and Mitzi raise an eyebrow your way.A DUET!“... a duet?”IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!Rubbing your hands together while a wicked little laugh escapes your lips, your devilish mirth is cut short when neither of them seem to flinch much! What gives!?“I mean… to be honest I was expecting something worse.” Mitzi shrugs as Sybil nods next to her.“Yes… much worse. This also means once we do this we’re off the hook, right?”“Sweet. I’m already a little buzzed too–got a song in mind, partner?” Mitzi asks with a grin!“You bet I do!” Sybil winks!Hey, wait, you stammer as the two trot in the direction of the DJ Booth, they’re supposed to be MORTIFIED! Come BACK!“D’aww, they’re becoming great friends, aren’t they? Ya’ love to see it!” Nats remarks as your two marks disappear into the crowd. No, you growl, you DON’T love to see it! They were supposed to grovel a bit more!“Too late now, kiddo.” Says Ly as he borrows your shoulders for a shrug. “Guess all dat’s left is to enjoy da’ show!”“C-come on, Stanley!” Squeaks Denise as she tugs your sleeve towards the bar, “W-we can get another dr-drink before they start!”That’s the best idea you’ve heard from her, well, ever! Letting her lead you to the watering hole, you watch as Syb and Mitz schmooze their way up to the DJ Booth and whisper something to one of the skeletons on standby. Nodding excitedly, the skeleton sidles up to the current DJ and relays whatever they said to him! Taking a seat at the bar, you and the rest of the dancefloor patrons eagerly await the next event!CHOOSE A SONG FOR SYB AND MITZI TO SING! IF YOU DON’T HAVE A SPECIFIC ONE IN MIND, CHOOSE A GENRE BELOW AND I’LL PICK SOMETHING CRINGE!>CLASSIC ROCK>COUNTRY>RAP>OLDIES>WRITE-IN!
>>5348626Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder - Ebony and Ivoryhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZtiJN6yiikCyndi Lauper - Girls Just Want To Have Fun (Official Video)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIb6AZdTr-AMichael Jackson,Paul MCcartney - The Girl is minehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txedWZLKT0Q&t=135sBarbie Girl – Aquahttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyhrYis509ADon't You Want Me - The Human League https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPudE8nDog0Don't Go Breaking My Heart - Elton John with Kiki Deehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0qW9P-uYfMI Can't Help It - Hank Williams & Anita Carterhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw8lVU0m0XIThe Sounds of Silence - Simon & Garfunkelhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fWyzwo1xg0You're The One That I Want - John Travolta And Olivia Newton Johnhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itRFjzQICJU
>>5348639I'm gonna stop pullin' my punches on these bitches.>WRITE-IN!Paradise By The Dashboard Light - Meat Loaf https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C11MzbEcHlw
>>5348682Syb sings Meat Loaf's part.
>>5348682>>5348688I’ll support this since I couldn’t have done any better, and this guy put in effort.
>>5348682>>5348688>>5348755They did put in some effort, didn't they? Good choice on the MEAT LOAF, anon!Also lol'ing at Syb and Mitzi choosing an 8 minute song. Writing!
Having finished their discussion with the disk jockey, Syb and Mitz exchange excited glances as the MC whips out a pair of MICROPHONES from behind his setup! Handing one over to Syb and holding on to the second for a moment, the record-spinnin’ skeleton gains the dance floor’s attention by rapping the device with his bony knuckles!“LADIES AN’ GENTLEBONES, let me be the first to say on the behalf of SKELE-TUNES PRE-APOCALYPTIC RADIO, no longer your 24 Hour stop for BEATS TO KILL MEATBAGS TO and now just the only radio station in town! Anyways, we’ve had nothin’ short of a BLAST playin’ the tunes for ya’ tonight! How we doin’ so far!?”The question is answered with an almost deafening roar of cheers, gunfire, and smashing bottles!“Yea, think I’ll take that as a ‘YES’!” The MC laughs, ribs rattling from the power behind it! “Anyways, no clue why us numskulls didn’t think it up sooner, but these two lovely ladies here are gonna give you a lil’ ditty yer’ gonna flip yer’ lids over! Hold on to your hats, folks, and give it up for SYBIL and MITZI as they perform… what’s it called again, doll?”“This one’s an old favorite of mine… HEAVEN BY THE DASH LIGHT!” Answers Syb!“Dedicated, of course, to America’s Sweetheart herself: Stanley Parble! Say hi, ya’ little gremlin, you!”At Mitzi’s mention, a spotlight shines on your face prompting another massive round of applause and cheers! One guy even throws his eyepatch at you–score!“Anyways, she dared us to do this, so if we suck then you know who to beat up! Alright, let’s rock!”Ignoring your angry fist-shaking, Mitzi snaps and points at the DJ like she’s Alvis Priestly or something prompting the song to start!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C11MzbEcHlw“Dis’ song sounds familiar, somehow…” Ly muses as Syb kicks things off with a catchy tune about a car or something?“Whatever it is, I LIKE it!” Nats chirps as a bartender slides a fresh drink over your way. “When’s OUR turn??”Dude, you’ve got, like, a million other things to do tonight–you’ll SEE, you reply as you take a hearty sip from the mug!When it dawns on you that this is gonna be a long song, you contemplate what to do next as your dumbass friends sing their hearts out to the movin’ and groovin’ dance floor below!>TALK TO DENISE MORE!>CHAT UP LY AND NATS!>A SURPRISE PAL SHOWS UP TO THE BAR! (WHO? NOT DENISE, SYB, OR MITZ FOR OBVIOUS REASONS)>YOU ARE WOEFULLY SOBER. DRINK SOMETHING STRONGER!>JUST LISTEN TO THE DAMN SONG, YOU BAD FRIEND, YOU!>WRITE-IN!
>>5348831>>YOU ARE WOEFULLY SOBER. DRINK SOMETHING STRONGER!>>JUST LISTEN TO THE DAMN SONG, YOU BAD FRIEND, YOU!
>>5348831>YOU ARE WOEFULLY SOBER. DRINK SOMETHING STRONGER!>JUST LISTEN TO THE DAMN SONG, YOU BAD FRIEND, YOU!And when we’re done here we can go see what that shooting competition is about. Make sure we put the others in their place.
>>5348863>>5348866>DRINK AND LISTEN, YOU DICK!Writing the last short update of the night! Should have more SATURDAY AROUND 10-11AM PST!
Glancing over at your skittish scientist, you find her tapping her foot and jauntily humming along to Syb and Mitzi’s song. Yea, you mutter to no one in particular, you probably oughta’ listen too, hm?“SSSH! I’M TRYING TO LISTEN!”Alright, JEEZ! Downing your beer in one gulp, you put your finished glass in plain view of the bartenders so that they know who to serve next! When a few seconds go by without any service, you begrudgingly turn your attention to your friends onstage. Man, still going, huh?“It just started! Now ZIP IT!” Hisses Ly impatientLY!“SSSH!”Letting Syb’s sweet lyrics sink in, it takes you a few moments to notice your rubber booted foot tapping along to the rhythm! The lyrics are hokey, that’s for damn sure, something about being kids and breaking into a car by a lake?Whatever the hell it’s about, the skeletons really seem to dig it… trying to match the fluctuating tempo of the song, the boneheads crowding the dancefloor can’t help but laugh as they flub the steps and stumble all over each other! Boys, girls, and even a couple of animals–all of them seem to be having the time of their unlives, and the more you watch them all the more you feel a strange, almost nostalgic feeling in your heart–like you were the one there breaking into the car at the lake once upon a time…As if sensing your gaze, both Syb and Mitzi turn your way wearing smiles you can’t quite decipher–ones that persist even when the latter frantically urges Syb to give her an answer–she’s gotta know right NOW!“Those cats can meow, huh, boss?”Shaken from your karaoke-induced trance, you whirl around on your crate stool at the sound of the bartender’s voice as if he’d just shook you awake! Yea, uh… yea!“Dat’s an understatement!”“They’re both so TALENTED! I’m so glad they’re your friends, sis!”Yea, uh… you too.“Eh? I was askin’ if you were gettin’ thirsty.” The barkeep clarifies with a light chuckle! “Though it sounds like you’re havin’ a ball already!”Uhh, you’ll TELL him when you’re having a ball, okay? And yea, you could use another drink!“I’ll just h-have another w-water, please!” Shouts Denise over what you assume is the last leg of the song! “Water for the kid!” Confirms the barkeep! “And you, doll?”WHADDAYA’ DRINKIN’?DRINK STATUS: THE FAINTEST BUZZ…>JUST GIVE ME, LIKE, SIX BEERS!>SURPRISE ME!>I’LL HAVE WATER TOO, ACTUALLY!>SOMETHING HARD AND STRAIGHT! DON’T EVEN THINK OF MAKING A JOKE! (WHISKEY? VODKA? TEQUILA? RUM? SOMETHING ELSE?)>CAN YOU MAKE A COCKTAIL? (WHICH ONE?)>EEEH, NEVER MIND!Q2: WHAT DO ONCE YOU’VE GOT A DRINK?>STICK AROUND UNTIL YOUR PALS COME BACK!>TAKE YOUR DRINK SOMEWHERE ELSE!>ASK DENISE IF SHE WANTS TO COME WITH YOU!>ASK THE BARKEEP IF THEY’VE SEEN SOMEONE!>WRITE-IN!
>>5348931>>CAN YOU MAKE A COCKTAIL? This one:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnU2s3P8LKE>TAKE YOUR DRINK SOMEWHERE ELSE!Shooting!
>>5348931>SURPRISE ME!Ask the bonehead to make us a drink that was popular back in his day. Unless he died recently. In which case, make it something else popular.>TAKE YOUR DRINK SOMEWHERE ELSE!Shooting, of course.>ASK THE BARKEEP IF THEY’VE SEEN SOMEONE!Before we go, ask the barkeep if he’s seen an old, rootin’ and tootin’ old school sheriff lookin fella. Goes by Burton.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>5348937>MAKE ME THE LOONEY TUNES COCKTAIL! >ALSO LET'S GO SHOOTIN'!>>5348977>SURPRISE ME WITH AN OLDIE! >GO SHOOTIN'!>ALSO HAVE YOU SEEN A CROCHETY OLD SHERIFF GUY?Gonna roll for what drink we do and write the results!
You give the barkeep a non-committal ‘eeeh’ as Mitzi and Syb’s performance ends with the crowd going WILD! Just uh, you mutter as you watch them bow and descend into the rabid audience, just give me something from when he was alive, y’know? Something classic!“Heh, lucky fer you I’m a walkin’ encyclopedia of drinks!” Laughs the pompadour’d bartender as he starts snagging several bottles from below the bar. “Dad couldn’t keep the fridge stocked to save his life, but he always managed to stock the liquor cabinet!”Christ, you asked for a DRINK, not his tragic backstory! Drumming your fingers impatiently on the counter, the sound of guns firing gives you the itch to move on–say Denise, you say as the bartender begins concocting your beverage, you mind telling Mitz and Syb you’re headed to the SHOOTING RANGE?“Sure!” Nods the scientist, sending a light mist of sweat all over you and the bar and no doubt committing several health code violations, “Never f-fear… Pr-Professor Venaas will k-keep them out of tr-trouble! H-heheh…”You doubt it, but you can’t help but admire her enthusiasm! Sending an appreciative nod her way, your eyes light up with childlike excitement as the bartender slides your finished drink over to you!“And that, kid, is what we like to call a Rum Runner,” He explains with pride as you examine the orange, fruity-lookin’ drink with a pineapple wedge stuck on the rim! “Probably nothin’ special nowadays, but it was the cat’s meow when I was growin’ up! Say, you wanna hear how that went?”Nope, you reply as you snatch the drink off the counter with a friendly smile, but thanks for the drink! Taking a hearty swig, you can’t help but look at it after with approval–rum, you mutter with a knowing nod, this’ll do!Rising from your seat with drink in hand, you clink your glass against the one sitting in Denise’s jittery hand before reaching into your pocket and placing one of the PEARLS you got from that mermaid gambling den onto the bar! How’s that for a tip, huh?Snatching it off the bar, the bartender glances around him before inspecting your gift. “Hot dog, kid! You come back if you need a top-off, dig?” Will do, you nod as you take another slurp from your glass! Having had your fill of dancing for now, you set off in search of truth, justice, and high-caliber weaponry!>CONTD.
>>5349425Despite hosting skeleton guests of music festival proportions, it isn’t hard to locate the SHOOTING RANGE–the sound of gunshots, drunken cheers and exploding glass make for good guides!Speaking of drunken cheers, you hear a few familiar voices long before you arrive–hiking up the hill with your drink firmly in hand, you find yourself looking at a long, winding row of folding tables with half-assed plank dividers separating each shooting station! Stuffed with loose cartridges, drinks, and weaponry ranging from medieval to modern day, the place strikes you as what an actual shooting range probably looks like, not that you’ve ever been, of course.“You humans sure do enjoy your weapons, don’t you?” Nats observes as you watch a skeleton clad in colonial militiamen garb and a powdered wig eviscerate a hay target with a machine gun while his modern soldier buddies watch with pride. Guess they don’t care about penetration with a cement wall surrounding the whole place. Yea, you frown, taking another deep sip from your glass, got a problem with that, COMMIE?“Not at all! While I’d never wish harm on any of our friends, there’s something entrancing about watching humans kill each other with heavy weaponry… think it’s a demon thing.”“Yea, sure…” Mutters Ly with a hint of worry in his voice. “See anyone familiar yet, cupcake?”Before you can respond, your answer presents itself in the form of a familiar film student unloading two even more familiar gaudy REVOLVERS into a hay target while roaring like a madman!Yep, that’s Eddie alright.Flanked by Art and Tucker, it takes you a moment before you recognize the duster-clad fogie watching disapprovingly from the side! Throwing range safety to the wind, you rush down the hill towards your dumbass friends and launch yourself (drink-included) into Marshal Burton’s side like a freaky raccoon-like torpedo!POP-POP!“Aw HELL...”>CONTD.
>>5349435Keeping him locked in place with your bearhug, you wave to the others before glancing back up at the old skeleton’s bearded and increasingly-flustered face! You made it!“I’ll ‘pop-pop’ yer fool head open with a bullet if you call me that again, missy.” He growls, surly as ever. To his credit, though, he DOES sneakily return the hug by wrapping an arm around your shoulders! “So, still alive I see.”“Not for lack of trying.” Art says with a smile as Tucker switches off with Eddie.“Hey Stan!” Ed chirps as he sidles up next to Art, “Finally came to join us, huh?”Yep, you nod, maintaining the hug despite Gramps’ struggling, you just came back from a little dancing with Denise, Mitz, and Syb!“Oh yea, huh?” Art remarks as he and Eddie exchange looks. “Did uh, did I miss anything?”Just a dance-off between you, Syb and Mitz, you answer with a toothy grin! Oh and she totally did karaoke just now and he missed it, so he’s probably in the DOG HOUSE now! HAHAHAAH!“Oh crap, that was her?!” Art sputters as terror spreads in his eyes! “I gotta go, guys!”“No you don’t, man!” Eddie scoffs as he grabs Art by his fleeing shoulder, “You guys will probably, uh, ‘reconvene’ later, right? Hang out with the GUYS a little longer!”“Yea, man–we’re all starting to get jealous.” Tucker mutters as his shots go wide. “Man, this just isn’t my thing…”“Why didn’t you head over to the ARENA, Tuck?” Asks Eddie as he continues to restrain a panicked Art. “You do kung fu and crap, right?”“Sure,” Tucker shrugs as he hands the revolvers over to Art, “But did you see the competition? No thanks.”“What, Talbot?” Art scoffs as he settles his nerves by loading the weapons with fresh ammo.“Nah, Kiki.” Shivers the film student. “... Maybe I’ll head over later.”“Yea, later!” Eddie nods in a cheerful tone! “We’ve got the whole damn night ahead of us–let’s make the most of it!”“You can start by making a mess of that target, provided y’all can hit the damn thing more than once…” Grumbles Gramps as he finally prys himself free of your grasp.“How about you quit talking and start shooting then, ‘Gramps’?” Art taunts, earning a low growl from Pop-Pop!“Keep that tone up, boy, and I just might!”>CONTD.
>>5349437Having settled in with your drink and the BOYS, you watch the trio shoot the target for a few more rounds before noticing the small crate of EMPTY BOTTLES underneath the shooting station! What’s all that?“Bottles.” Tucker confirms as he watches Eddie take a few more shots at the target.Thanks, dick, you growl, you meant to ask what they’re FOR!“Shooting!” Art grins as he points to another group of skeletons a few rows down! Chucking one of the bottles into the air, a skeleton wearing a chef’s outfit hoots as his pal wearing bellhop attire reduces it to glass confetti with a shotgun! Neato!“We’ve gone through a box already, but we wanted to save the second one in case you came around!” Eddie explains as he lays his empty revolver on the table. “We can play if you want!”“Sure, an’ maybe you can teach these fools a lesson or two in the process.” Gramps adds with a cheeky grin. “Hey, Stan’s good, but we ain’t bad either!” Art counters with a competitive glint in his eye!“Besides, she’s still finishing her drink, right?” Tucker asks, prompting you to take another long sip from your glass. You’re almost done, BITCH!Finishing it off with a triumphant ‘AAAAHhhh’, you think about what you wanna do next!DRINK STATUS: FINALLY! A BUZZ!>CATCH UP WITH GRAMPS!>TALK TO TUCKER!>ENGAGE WITH EDDIE!>SPEAK WITH ART!>BOTTLE-SHOOTING CONTEST!>JUST SHOOT THE HAY TARGETS A BIT (SCOPED RIFLE? SHOTGUN? REVOLVER? ROCKET LAUNCHER? WRITE-IN?)>YOU’LL BE RIGHT BACK, ACTUALLY!>WRITE-IN!
>>5349440>BOTTLE-SHOOTING CONTEST!We can chit-chat as we shoot. I wanna see the old man’s reaction when the half-drunk gremlin outshoots him.
>Board is deadGod damn Saturdays, am I right?
Letting your tastebuds relish the fleeting sensation of your fruity beverage, you assertively crack your neck and nod to your fellow idiots. You just beat Mitz AND Syb in a dance off–teaching everyone how to shoot oughta’ be a good pilot cleanser!“Woah… both of ‘em?” Tucker asks, clearly impressed!“And I missed it…” Groans Eddie as he lightly kicks the side of the shooting stand. “Maaan…”“Well dancing’s a little different from shooting, Stan, as I’m sure you know.” Art replies with a smug grin forming on his face. No shit, dumbass! “So that just means you’ve burned a little stamina!”“Hey… hey, yea!” Eddie says with a smile! “Count me in!”“Me too.” Smirks Tucker with a shrug. “Can’t promise a challenge, but it’ll be fun, right?”As the boys get to work setting up the bottles, you turn and send a pleading glance in The Marshal’s direction.“... nope.”You add a pout for good measure. P-Pop-Pop?“Is yer’ head screwed on right? I said nope, you deaf freak! And quit calling me ‘Pop-Pop!”He asked for it. You pull out the PUPPY DOG EYES!“Oh SHIT!” Ly exclaims as your Pop-Pop’s grizzled jaw falters a bit, “She’s… she’s DOIN’ IT!”“W-what is this p-POWER!?” Stammers Nats as you lean in a little closer! Trembling under your DARK MAGICKS, the crusty old coot finally caves with a defeated roar!“Damn it all, FINE! But if you so much as sniffle when I teach you a lesson, I’ll be using your sorry carcass as target practice, y’hear?!”You respond by tackling him into another hug! YAAAAAY~POP-POP’S GONNA PLAAAAAY!“Damn kids… always getting whatever they want…” Grumbles The Marshal as he draws the OLD REVOLVER from his side holster.“So,” Eddie announces, dropping the box of bottles at your feet like they weren’t fragile whatsoever, “Who do you wanna lose to first, huh Stan?”“Stop, Stan! STOP!” Ly shrieks as you snatch up a glass bottle from the box, “He was making a JOKE!”He’s gonna be making a pool of BLOOD on the ground if he doesn’t watch it!“Well this is gonna be fun...” Art observes flippantly.Damn right it will!>CONTD.
>>5349739Pondering Eddie’s STUPID question as you return the bottle to the box, you ultimately decide to START with…Q1: WANNA MAKE THIS NEEDLESSLY COMPETITIVE?>YES! LET’S SET SOME STAKES!>NO! YOU’RE FINE WITH RUBBING YOUR VICTORY IN THEIR FACES!>WRITE-IN!Q2: WHO’S UP TO BAT FIRST? YOU’LL BE USING A REVOLVER!>TUCKER–YOU DON’T BUY THAT MODESTY BULLSHIT! YOU’LL FIGHT HIM FIRST!>EDDIE–YOU SAW WHAT HE DID IN THE MINES–LET’S SEE HOW HE DOES NOW!>ART–YOU DEFEATED HIS WOMAN AND YOU’LL RUIN HIM TOO!>POP-POP–YOU WANNA TEACH AN OLD DOG SOME NEW TRICKS!>EEH, YOU JERKS FIGURE OUT SOMETHING FIRST! YOU’RE GONNA WATCH AND FIND ANOTHER DRINK!>ACTUALLY, YOU’LL BE RIGHT BACK!>WRITE-IN!
>>5349741Q1:>NO! YOU’RE FINE WITH RUBBING YOUR VICTORY IN THEIR FACES!Bragging rights is good enough for me. As if we would skip the chance to be an arrogant bitch.Q2:>ART–YOU DEFEATED HIS WOMAN AND YOU’LL RUIN HIM TOO!
Sorry, all, something came up and I'm probably gonna sign off for the rest of the night! Should have more for ya SUNDAY AROUND 10-11AM PST! Apologies again!
>>5349831Take it easy, boss.
I kind of want to declare war on all of them at once, but Pops by himself is probably pretty tough.
>>5349915We can totally do that if you'd like to speed things up a little--it'll just be a few more rolls. Still busy for the rest of the night, but I'll add that to the choices:>TAKE 'EM ALL DOWN ONE BY ONE (WRITE-IN ORDER!)Otherwise I'll see you all tomorrow, hopefully!
>>5349955>TAKE 'EM ALL DOWN ONE BY ONE (WRITE-IN ORDER!)>Tucker>Eddie>Art>Pop-popWe must work ourselves up to the master.
>>5350007changing to this
>>5350007>>5350016>>5350052>>5350097Order received! Writing! Got some plans later today, so expect sporadic updates!
Yea… you mutter, that oughta’ do it!“Do what?” Asks Gam-Gam as you turn to give your challengers a toothy grin!After much deterioration, you begin after clearing your throat to get everyone’s attention, you’ve determined the order you’ll be beating everyone in!“So that’s why you were muttering to yourself!” Remarks Eddie with comprehension dawning on his face. “Neat!”“No, that was just her muttering random numbers to herself and wasting our time.” Art counters, earning a shipment of dirt kicked in his direction! Wrong, dick, you were CALCULATING! Calculating everyone’s strengths and weaknesses!“Your ‘diagram’,” Art retorts as he points to your notes etched in the ground with a stick, “Is a bunch of scribbles, that ‘S’ everyone drew back in Middle School, and a drawing of some guy with stink lines coming off of his head.”Yea, you say failing to contain a mischievous giggle, guess whose head that is!“You ain’t gonna have a head if you don’t get to the damn point!” Growls Pops as he mercilessly stomps all over your calculations! “Who’s goin’ first!?”Sheesh, SOMEone needs a nap! Poking your finger into the barrel of the gun Gramps has pointed at your face while Eddie and Tucker struggle to disarm him, you relay your DATA-DRIVEN RESULTS to the competitors!First up is TUCKER!“Fine with me–I’ll give it a shot!” Tucker shrugs with a grin on his face. Quit it with the fake modesty, asshole!Second is EDDIE!“Don’t underestimate me!” Warns Eddie as he attempts to twirl his revolver and subsequently drops it on the ground!Third is ART!“Just promise not to cry when you lose, yea?”Not gonna happen! Fourth, of course, is-“MARSHAL BUR-”POP-POP!“... You do this on purpose, don’t you?”Dunno what you’re talking about, you deflect! Anyways, you’ll be shooting TEN BOTTLES! Whoever shoots more is the BEST!“Wait, you’re not gonna make any dumb wagers?” Asks Art with a hint of genuine concern in his voice. “But you love those!”You do, you concede, but bragging rights will do you just fine this time, thanks!“You just can’t think of any good stakes, can ya?” Asks Ly in a wry voice. Sh-shut up!With the bottles and ammo set up, all that’s left is to shoot!>CONTD.
>>5350349Here goes, folks! Four challengers! One winner! Lots of glass bottles! ROLL ME 4d100+15(+5 BUNNY SUIT, +5 DEMON STRENGTH, +5 RIGHT ARM TEMPORARY BONEUS) TO SMOKE THESE GUYS! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!As per last time, I’LL be rolling for the others! BONEUS breakdown is as follows:TUCKER: 1d100 (Dude’s pretty average at shootin’. : c)EDDIE: 1d100+5 (+5 TRYING TO IMPRESS EVERYONE)ART: 1d100+10 (+5 LOTS OF SHOOTING PRACTICE, +5 REVENGE FOR SYB!)GRAMPS: 1d100+20 (+10 LOTS AND LOTS OF SHOOTING PRACTICE, +5 GOTTA TEACH THESE YOUNGSTERS BONEUS, +5 ANNOYING GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILD OR WHATEVER BONEUS)I’ll roll their stuff AFTER you guys roll, so get to it! Good luck and don’t mess up!
Rolled 100, 86, 76, 64 + 15 = 341 (4d100 + 15)>>5350351
Rolled 59, 44, 82, 19 + 15 = 219 (4d100 + 15)>>5350366Geez Stan, you didn't have to humiliate Tucker that hard.
Rolled 97, 86, 19, 33 = 235 (4d100)>>5350351My time to shine
>>5350366>three ones last thread>two one hundreds this threadI fucking hope this trend keeps up for the whole thread.
>>5350472I'm just worried it's going to swing back right as we engage Tim.
Rolled 29, 46, 48, 36 = 159 (4d100)>>5350366>>5350371>>5350440Well damn, Tucker is DEAD!Nah really though, nice rolls! So nice, in fact, that let's say that crit DEMORALIZED THE REST! -5 BONEUSES TO EVERYONE (except Stan, of course)Gonna roll for your opponents now in one 4d100 roll--BONEUSES will be added after.Tucker: 1d100-5 (-5 DEMORALIZED)Eddie: 1d100 (-5 DEMORALIZED, +5 TRYING TO IMPRESS)Art: 1d100+5 (-5 DEMORALIZED, +5 SHOOTING PRACTICE AND +5 SYB REVENGE)Gramps: 1d100+15(-5 DEMORALIZED, YADA YADA YOU GET IT)Will write the results after the rolls!
First up is you and Tucker–his calm, composed expression barely giving you anything to work with as you step up to bat first! Checking to see that both revolvers are loaded, you nod for Art to throw–and politely remind him that you’ll go SICKO MODE on him if he botches a toss!“Yea, yea, just worry about your aim, doofus…” Art mutters as Tucker watches from behind you.“Good luck, boss!”You won’t need it! Aiming your dual revolvers, you lick your lips in anticipation as Art hocks the first bottle into the air!Trailing it as it arcs through the sky, you have no trouble blasting it into a shower of dark glass! By the time the remains hit the ground, you’ve already moved onto the next one! Then the next! Hitting them like some kind of bottle-shooting machine, you watch with menacing glee as the color slowly drains from your opponent’s faces–the living ones, at least!“Shiiiit...” Tucker mouths as you let one bottle nearly hit the ground before bullseyeing it! With one bottle left, Art really puts his arm into the throw! Sending it skyward, you’re just about to finish with a bang when a menacing ‘SKREEEEEE’ approaches from above!“STAN!” Ly exclaims as you scan the air for the sound’s origin, “It’s him!”Before you can ask who, the answer presents itself in the form of a familiar leathery-winged mammalian menace–one you thought you taught a lesson back at THE LODGE!Yes… you know him all too well.THE BAT!https://youtu.be/DLJJRJY1Tcs“Oh crap! It’s A BAT!” Eddie shouts!We meet again, you hiss as you aim your weapon at the cave-dwelling gate-crasher, for the last time!As THE BAT dives at you with bared fangs, you meet him halfway with a bullet–one that sends your flapping foe careening into the night with a defeated screech!Though the bullet didn’t penetrate your nocturnal nemesis, it DID pierce something else! As THE BAT’S limp form tumbles beyond the fort walls, the bottle that just happened to be behind the beast bursts into a cloud of glass that earns a round of cheers from the skeletons around you!“Holy CRAP!” Tucker sputters as you blow the smoke off the gun’s barrels, “That’s… damn...”“Th-that was a perfect score!” Art adds as he retrieves ten more bottles from the crate with his shaking hands.Mhm, you cheerfully reply as you lay the weapons back on the table, no pressure~Propping himself up with a deep breath, Tucker takes his place at the table while you take over his spot. Watching him prepare, you feel a bony hand lightly pat your shoulder.“Not a bad start, kid.” Mutters Pops as he struggles to avert his gaze. “Not bad at all…”“HA! Softie!” Snorts Nats!>CONTD.
>>5350721Still rattled from your earlier performance, Tucker quietly loads his weapons with fresh cartridges before motioning for Art to proceed. Despite the cool expression on his face, the film student’s performance is nowhere near as spicy as yours! Though his first three shots hit their marks, the rest of them go wide, and without another surprise appearance by THE BAT, Tucker’s turn ends with a whimper.“See, that’s why Keek’s the one with the camera:” Eddie remarks as Tucker returns the guns to the table with a good-natured chuckle. “Because you, my friend, can’t shoot.”“Screw you, man…” Tucker smirks as he gives his roommate a light punch in the shoulder, “I said it before–I’m more of an ‘up close and personal’ guy!”“You really oughta’ try being a ‘shoot the bottle’ guy, then.” Art quips, earning a flipped bird from your opponent.“Yea, yea… What can I say? It was a tough act to follow.” Tucker shrugs as he turns your way and smiles. “I know when I’m beat. You kicked ass, Stan.”Damn right you did, you reply with pride! What’s he mean by ‘up close’, though?“Didn’t I mention?” He asks with a confused expression as Eddie sets up at the table. “I did a lot of martial arts stuff before college–a few tournaments, too.”Huh, you blink in surprise, why didn’t he tell you? Your bro was all about that stuff too! Still is!“Did I not? Musta’ slipped through the cracks…” Tucker shrugs as Eddie reloads the guns. “I knew your last name was familiar–I competed with Sue a few times back in High School–dude’s a machine.”He can say that again! So wait, you continue, how well does he know Su-“Alright, guys, time for the MAIN EVENT!” Announces Eddie as he poses with his revolvers! “Quiet on set!”“Right… you’re gonna need all the concentration you can get!” Jokes Tucker, prompting his roommate to kick a cloud of dirt in his and your direction! Hey, watch it!“Taste that dust, guys? Get used to the flavor, cuz’ you’re gonna be eating it in a sec!” Boasts Eddie as he motions for Art to throw!“He’s been spending too much time with Talbot, huh?” Tucker remarks as you, him, and Gramps watch from afar. Yea, seriously!>CONTD.
>>5350724“So Ed, got any recommendations on what dust I should try?”“Screw you, man...”Planting the revolvers back on the table with a defeated sigh, Eddie switches places with Art in an attempt to evade his roommate’s barbed tongue!“Because I remember you mentioning something about eating it? And I figured you’d be the person to ask-”“Whatever, Tuck–I shot way more than you did!” Eddie counters as he hastily removes ten bottles from the crate!“Does four bottles count as ‘way more?’ What do you think, guys? Stan?”“I’d be generous if I said yea…” Art smirks as he loads up the guns once more. “Really generous.”“In my experience, if you miss a shot you ain’t gonna live long enough ta’ fuss over it.” Grunts Pops as he pokes a bony finger through one of the bullet holes in his weathered hat. “Count yerself lucky them bottles there don’t fire back, pard.”Yea, you add, he didn’t even shoot a BAT, so…“Alright, alright, I get it… sheesh, you guys are brutal…” Eddie groans! “Just wait til’ next time, tho-”“You ready with those bottles, Ed? I’m feelin’ lucky!” Interrupts Art as he takes up a firing position! Abandoning his train of thought, the film student takes a bottle in each hand and nods.“Cool. Watch and learn!”To his credit, Art provides the best performance yet… after yours, of course. Sending several bottles to their untimely demise, the Rent-A-Cop falters in the middle when he misses a particularly spinny bottle, and with that one miss came several more!“No sweat, Artie–seven’s my lucky number!” Eddie jokes as Art blows the last bottle into pieces!“It’s everyone’s lucky number, you dork.” Art counters as he takes a moment to observe his handiwork. “Good thing Syb wasn’t watching, huh?”“I don’t think it’d matter much, to be honest.” Tucker remarks, earning a glare from the security goon. “Easy, tiger!”“If y’all are done playin’ cowboy, y’mind shuttin’ yer’ traps so I can show ya’ how it’s done?”Striding confidently over to the shooting stand, Gramps gives his worn revolver a quick twirl before spitting on the ground next to him.“This should be good, huh?” Art observes as he takes a spot next to you. It’ll be interesting, you correct. Whether it’ll be good or not is up in the air!“Speakin’ of ‘up in the air’, get to chuckin’, boy.” Commands Pop-Pop as he nods to Eddie.>CONTD.
>>5350728If the last few performances were appetizers, then Gramp’s shooting is the main course! While you and the others sought to shoot the bottles at the apex of their flight, The Marshal takes a more theatrical approach–sniping bottles inches above the ground, firing from the hip, the man’s a showboater through and through, and he makes no effort to conceal it!“He’s good…” Nats observes as Pops turns around and shoots a bottle falling behind him, “Really good!”“Glad we got him on our side…” Ly adds as the rest of your pals watch in awe. “He’d still be soakin’ up da’ booze on dat’ saloon table if we hadn’t convinced him ta’ tag along…”Blasting away his ninth bottle, a faint smirk forms on the old skeleton’s face as he moves to shoot his tenth! Watching him trace the final bottle’s flight with his gun like a painter with a brush, it takes you a moment to realize your fists are clenched at your sides.Uh-oh.Closing your eyes as The Marshal squeezes the trigger, you bite your lip in anticipation as one final shot rings out above the rest of the gunfire around you…But fails to produce any shattering glass.“DAMN IT ALL!”Opening your eyes, you watch with growing excitement as Gramps stomps his boot on the ground before angrily walking away from the table! Holy crap, you mutter to yourself, did… did you win?“Damned cityslickers–can’t hear myself think with all this darn racket around here!” Growls the skeleton as he stuffs his revolver back into its holster! “No wonder yer’ actin’ so darn foolish all the time–never used a head in yer’ life!”Before you can fully register what happened, your team of loyal idiots traps you in a series of high-fives starting with Eddie!“Holy crap, Stan–that lich ain’t gonna know what hit ‘em!” He laughs before giving you a light pat on the shoulder!“Not gonna lie, that was a nailbiter!” Tucker adds after getting his high-five in, “Remind me never to piss you off, yea?”“Don’t know what I expected…” Art shrugs with a wry grin on his stubbled face. “I owe you a drink, Stan.”He does, you nod glowing with pride, but you’ve got one more question before he grabs it for ya! Sidling up next to a still-simmering Pop-Pop, you lean your cheek into his side and smile up at his face–well?“... well what?” He hisses, avoiding your gaze.Well, you repeat as you lean in closer, how’d you do?“Ya’ did fine, alright? Glad ta’ see something good got passed down the family tree… despite all odds, might I add!”Yea, yea, you giggle, you love him too!“Never said that, idiot.”Never denied it either!>CONTD.
>>5350731“Dunno about you guys,” Eddie sighs as Tucker returns the crate of bottles back to its place under the table, “but I’m all competitioned out…”“Same.” Tucker nods as he glances towards the center of the Drive-In, “I think I’ll stick to watching for a while… and maybe being the drink runner.”“It’s cool! I can go grab ‘em!” Interrupts Art as he takes a few steps towards where the concession stand, well, stands. “Just, uh, just tell me what you guys want.”“You sure? I don’t mind.” Tucker replies. “Well someone’s gotta do it or we’ll be sober all night!” Eddie exclaims with growing irritation in his voice! “Stan, you won–who’s gonna be Drink Bitch?”You respond with a frown–how the hell is that a prize?“It isn’t–I just wanna drink! Preferably tonight.” Replies the film student with a shrug!Fair enough.Q1. WHO SHOULD GET THE DRINKS!? CHOOSE 1 OR MORE!>ART!>GRAMPS!>TUCKER!>STAN!>EDDIE!Q2. WHADDAYA WANNA DO NEXT?>CHAT WITH ART!>TALK TO TUCKER!>ENGAGE WITH EDDIE!>GRUMBLE WITH GRAMPS!>HEAD SOMEWHERE ELSE!>CHALLENGE SOME OTHER BONEHEADS TO A SHOOTOUT! HEY YOU!>WRITE-IN!
>>5350732>ART!>TUCKER!>EDDIE!>GRUMBLE WITH GRAMPS!>HEAD SOMEWHERE ELSE!ARENA
>>5350741Just to clarify, do you mean you wanna send the other goofballs to grab drinks and take Gramps to the ARENA whilst talking to him, or did you wanna talk to him FIRST and then head to the ARENA? Because both are very 'Stan' things to do and I approve.
>>5350748Talk to him FIRST and then head to the ARENA.
>>5350753I'll support this
>>5350787>>5350753>>5350748>>5350746>>5350741Dat's right! Winners talk! Losers walk! Plus somebody has to stay behind to tell everyone where we went.
Sorry, all--just got back from plans and I'm dog tired--will update MONDAY AROUND 10-11AM PST! I'll probably take the current vote unless I see a huge upset tomorrow, so expect some chatting with Gramps!While we wait, I've got one more question to ask:WHAT DRINK TO YOU ASK THE GUYS TO GRAB YOU?>BEEEEEER!>SOMETHING STRAIGHT AND HARD. YEP, MADE THE JOKE ALREADY!>A COCKTAIL! (WHICH ONE?)>NOTHING--YOU'RE GONNA MOVE ON IN A BIT!>SURPRISE ME! (WARNING--YOU'RE CURRENTLY SENDING ART, EDDIE, AND TUCKER. THEY WILL PROBABLY PRANK THE HELL OUTTA YOU.)>WRITE-IN!
>>5351263>>SURPRISE ME! (WARNING--YOU'RE CURRENTLY SENDING ART, EDDIE, AND TUCKER. THEY WILL PROBABLY PRANK THE HELL OUTTA YOU.)I feel daring.
>>5351263>SURPRISE ME! (WARNING--YOU'RE CURRENTLY SENDING ART, EDDIE, AND TUCKER. THEY WILL PROBABLY PRANK THE HELL OUTTA YOU.)
>>5351263>SURPRISE ME! (WARNING--YOU'RE CURRENTLY SENDING ART, EDDIE, AND TUCKER. THEY WILL PROBABLY PRANK THE HELL OUTTA YOU.)Don’t worry. They’ll regret it.
>>5351267>>5351360>>5351394>SURPRISE ME!So be it. Writing!
If he wants to drink so much, you reply with growing irritation in your tone, here’s a neat idea: how about he, Tucker, AND Art go grab some drinks, hm?“Sure, but then you’ll just be hanging out with gramps h-oooh, gotcha.” “Anything you want in particular?” Tucker asks when neither he nor Art voice any concerns with your idea. You respond with a shrug–surprise me!“One surprise comin’ up.” Says Art as a faint smile forms on his stubbled face. And before he and the rest of them try any BULLSHIT, you add, know that they’ll ALL be punished–guilty until proven innocent!“Don’t worry, Stan–I’ll keep an eye on these rascals!” Eddie replies with a reassuring smile! “You want a drink, Po-err, Marshal?”“Whiskey, neat. Hell, bring the bottle.” The skeleton grunts as he takes a seat in a nearby folding chair. “These city folk still know how to make whiskey, don’t they?”“Hell yea they do.” Tucker nods, placating the grumpy old man. “Don’t go anywhere, then–we’ll be back in a jiff!”As the guys depart, you join the lawman and sit in another conveniently-placed folding chair across from him. So, you begin, is he having a swell time?“Ehh, they’re nice enough folk.” Shrugs pops as he unslings his rifle and lays it across his lap. “Mayor fit right in–started slingin’ drinks and chattin’ up the locals the minute we blew in. You’d figure he owned the dern’ place with how he’s gettin’ on.” He adds, gesturing to the gaudy lights coming from the concession stand. “That human feller Pete came as well–the one y’all rescued when ya’ first rode inta’ JOPLIN?”Yea, you nod, that guy.“He had dat’ van an’ ran da’ VISITOR’S CENTER, Stan.” Ly reminds you in a hushed tone. Oh yea, THAT guy! Where’d he run off to?“Couldn’t tell ya.” Gramps grunts as he idly inspects his rifle. “Some wild-haired bonehead asked him about a ‘helly-copter’ or somesuch… Reckon they wanted him ta’ take a look at it.”Good to know, you mutter as you file that tidbit of intel into one of your dusty mental filing cabinets. What about the others, though? Did he come in on a horse? Where’s Sodapop?“You really are touched, ain’tcha?” He replies in an incredulous tone! “Horses have been here the whole damn time–look!”Following his outstretched finger, you finally notice the group of horse skeletons drinking like fish and going to town on a hay target with enough automatic weapons to take over a small country–even Pop’s horse Harry has a cigar hanging limp from his mouth! “Now dat’s what I call horseplay!” Ly remarks, causing Nats to explode into a giggle-fit! Keep it down in there!>CONTD.
>>5351677“Yep,” Gramps sighs, “Everyone’s livin’ it up…”Alright, you continue as you lean forward a bit in your chair, but you didn’t ask if his PALS were having fun–you asked HIM! Senile old man!“Call me that again and I’ll cuff yer’ darn ears, ya’ damned varmit!”Still didn’t answer your question!“You really are a punishment for my past misdeeds, ain’cha? Some kind of devil in disguise?”“Eheheh, he can say that again!”Be cool, Nats–he might actually shoot if he thinks you’re actual hellspawn!“What was that?” Asks the lawman with growing suspicion in his glowing eyes!N-nothing, you stammer! How’s he doing?The old skeleton answers you with a drawn-out sigh as he wordlessly holds out his REPEATER RIFLE for you to take-its wood stock weathered and pitted from countless battles, but its pewter metal parts still polished as if it were put together yesterday. Taken off-guard by the gesture, you leave him hanging as you raise an eyebrow in his direction. What… what is this?“A gun, dumbass!” Replies Pops with renewed grumpiness! “Ya’ shoot things with it! Reckon I’ll demonstrate by putting a bullet in your skull–that way you’ll finally have something in there!”Ha ha, gramps, you retort, very funny. Seriously though, you repeat with growing confusion, what’s he doing here?“Cripes, is everything a dang puzzle with you?” He groans as he shoves the weapon in your direction again! “I want you to have it, alright? Damned ungrateful kids…”You get that, you answer, but why? He’s gonna need it!“A gun’s a gun, alright?” He groans as he uses one of his hands to massage his bony temples. “Don’t matter who it belongs to. Sure, this one’s got its share of stories, but those are born from the owner… and I reckon it’s time to pass it along. An’ if I’m able to hand it off to kin, well…” He pauses mid-sentence before shoving the rifle in your face again. “Just try not ta’ blow your damn foot off, y’hear?”How do you respond here?>TAKE IT GRACIOUSLY!>REFUSE–YOU CAN’T ACCEPT THIS!>INVESTIGATE–WHY’S HE ACTING SO GENEROUS?>WRITE-IN!
>>5351678>TAKE IT GRACIOUSLY!Damn. I don't know what to say.
>>5351678>>TAKE IT GRACIOUSLY!
>>5351678>TAKE IT GRACIOUSLY!
>>5351745>>5351761>>5351763>TAKE THE DAMN THING!Writing!
>>5351678That thing would be worth a respectable sum.
It takes you a while to accept the gift from the old man–not because you don’t want it, of course–more like you can’t believe it.Damn, you stammer as you wrap your gloved hands around the rough wooden butt and forestock, you uh… you don’t know what to say… as you bring the weapon closer for a more thorough examination, you barely glimpse a brief hint of pride on the lawman’s face out of the corner of your eye.“No need to say nothin’, Stan…” He grunts as you peer down the sights and smile with satisfaction. “Figure it’ll be put to good use by you. Us dead men don’t have much need fer’ fancy heirlooms.”Fancy is right–despite its rugged exterior, a closer examination of the barrel and the gun’s mechanical components reveals that it’s been immaculately-kept–so much so that in your limited knowledge of firearms you’d almost suspect this thing was good as new!“Just don’t go paintin’ butterflies or daffodils on that thing–if I find out you ain’t treatin’ her well I’ll come runnin’ and jam the ole’ thing down yer’ idjit’ throat.”You answer his threat with a look of disbelief. Do you look like the kind of gal that would put butterflies on this thing?“HAH! Got me there!” Laughs the lawman in a rare display of emotion besides grumpiness. “Couldn’t say what kinda girl you are, part from one who knows her way around a rifle!” His soft chuckle trails off into the evening breeze as the two of you sit there for a while in silence. After all, ‘no need to say nothin’, he said…“Gosh,” Nats remarks in an awestruck tone, “That’s… that’s one hell of a gift, Stan…”“What she said!” Ly adds, earning a weak nod from you. “What’s-oh boy…”Sensing something amiss, the old man glances your way and groans before getting up and dragging his seat over to you. “Ah Hell, don’t get all misty-eyed over a dern’ gift, you damn fool… Com’mere now.”You’re not misty-eyed, you protest as you blink the itchiness away from your eyes, it’s just friggin’ HAY FEVER an-Before you can finish your explanation, the skeleton takes a seat and brings you into a side hug. Resting your cheek against his duster’s leather shoulder, you find yourself in one of those rare situations where you’re at a loss for words.“Whatever happens tomorrow, lil’ missy,” Continues Gramps in a low, growling tone, “just promise an’ old man that you’ll keep moving forward, ya’ hear?” He pauses to give your shoulder a gentle shake. “Don’t dwell on the past, what you miss, or what you lose–learn from it and keep goin’.”>CONTD.
>>5351836Nodding quietly at his sudden words of wisdom, you receive a pat on the shoulder for your troubles. “Atta’ girl. You’re a Parble, damn it–that means you’re a fighter. Don’t let anyone or anything tell ya’ otherwise.”Resting against his shoulder for a few more moments, you eventually work up the gumption to gently break free of the embrace. Seeing you’ve recovered, the old lawman noisily clears his throat as he hastily gets up and drags his chair back to its original position. “An’ fer heaven’s sake, go enjoy yerself–you only live once, ya’ hear? Don’t waste the whole damn thing talking to an old man…”Yea, yea, you mutter, wiping the remaining HAY FEVER from the corners of your eyes, there he goes acting all wise again...“The HELL you mean, ‘actin’??” He roars with renewed grumpiness! “Compared to you I’m a goddamned PROFESSOR! They’ve got pondscum smarter n’ you–serves me right fer’ tryin’ ta’ be charitable!”Did they even have charity back in his time, you ask as a mischievous grin forms on your face! What did they even donate? Pretty rocks? Dinosaur bones?“You mind yer’ dern tone an’ mind it fast, missy–”Snarls the lawman from his folding chair, “or I’ll take that rifle of mine back and give ya’ some wisdom you ain’t gonna be able to refuse!”Alright, alright, you sigh in a placating tone, you’re sorry, Pop-Pop…“Damn right you’ll be sorry…” He grumbles as he crosses one leg over the other and spits on the ground, “No respect fer’ elders in this damned town…”As the conversation lulls back into familiar territory, you contemplate what, if anything, you wanna discuss next… YOU PROBABLY HAVE TIME FOR UP TO 2-3 MORE TOPICS!INVENTORY PASTEBIN UPDATED!>DID HE MEET CLIFF AND THE OTHERS YET?>WHAT’S HIS PLAN FOR TOMORROW?>HE WAS HANGING WITH THEM FOR A WHILE–ANY THOUGHTS ON THE GUYS?>JUST WAIT UNTIL THE BOYS COME BACK WITH DRINKS!>SERIOUSLY THOUGH, WHAT'S EATING HIM?>HOW’S JOPLIN ANYWAYS?>WRITE-IN!
>>5351840>DID HE MEET CLIFF AND THE OTHERS YET?>HE WAS HANGING WITH THEM FOR A WHILE–ANY THOUGHTS ON THE GUYS?>SERIOUSLY THOUGH, WHAT'S EATING HIM?
>>5351840>>DID HE MEET CLIFF AND THE OTHERS YET?>>HE WAS HANGING WITH THEM FOR A WHILE–ANY THOUGHTS ON THE GUYS?>>SERIOUSLY THOUGH, WHAT'S EATING HIM?
>>5351852>>5351863>>5351864>MEET CLIFF?>THE GUYSSSS>WHAT'S HIS DEAL?Writing!
So uh, you continue as the awkwardness starts to settle in, did he meet any of the other boneheads around here? Stripes? Cliff? Andre? Haulie-Paulie?“Cliff, huh? He the one with the denim jacket and the funny hair?” Asks Gramps as he visibly ponders the names.“Dat’ don’t really narrow it down, does it?” Asks Ly as you respond with a half-hearted nod. Yea, you say with middling confidence in your voice, sure!“Yep, I met him.” Concludes The Marshal as he leans back in his chair. “Though I suppose it’s more right to say he met me–we’d barely rode in through that hellishly-large gate outside when he and a few others greeted us at the entrance…” Running his bony fingers through his ashen beard, the skeleton raises an eyebrow your way. “Why?”He’s your pal, you reply in a matter-of-fact tone! That and he’s been running the show up here for a while now.“Figured as such… somber feller, ain’t he? The boy certainly seems to carry a burden or two on them shoulders of his.” Muses Gramps. “I don’t much envy his position–carin’ after JOPLIN’ a big enough job as-is.”Yep, you nod, not envying him either, you hate corralling assholes too!“Yup, he didn’t seem to care much for it either!” Laughs Pops before leaning closer to you. “Anywho, he seems harmless enough… a little gloomy, though. He mentioned ya’, by the way. Spoke pretty highly of what you’ve done.”Can you blame him? You ARE pretty incredible!“Take care of that big head, missy, or it’ll pop off an’ roll away…” Mutters the lawman ina dismissive tone. “Still, it does an’ old man’s heart good ta’ hear talk of his progeny, ‘specially when ya’ only hear good things.”Did he say anything else? Mention any plans for tomorrow?“Plan’s simple enough: we do what that kooky magician ordered us to do and strike when the time’s right.” He explains with staggering detail. “Cliff said he’d fill you in later tonight–can’t say much more than that.”Fine, you pout, but you ain’t happy about it!“I didn’t come here ta’ make you happy!” Snarls Gramps! “Don’t like it, ask the man himself!”FINE, you repeat, maybe you WILL! LATER!>CONTD.
>>5352162Okay, you segue as you grow more impatient waiting for your drink, if he can’t talk about Cliff then what about THE BOYS? He have anything to say about them?“Can’t fault ‘em for their enthusiasm.” The Marshal shrugs, clearly itching for a drink as well, “Already saw what Ed an’ that Art feller can do in a scrap–can’t begin ta’ fathom how n’ the Hell they managed to screw up shootin’ bottles so bad.”They were pretty shitty, weren’t they, you remark, rubbing your chin in thought. You’re betting they were just nervous–you’ve got a bit of a reputation around these parts!“Seems so, yup.” The Marshal nods. “There’s no denyin’ they think the world of ya–specially that Eddie. Got some spring in his step, that one.”Yea, you’ve uh… you’ve picked up on that. What about Art and Tucker?“Artie’s a good one.” The Marshal says with a nod of approval. “Won’t stop blabberin’ about that girl of his, though–kid could do with puttin' her out of his mind fer’ a spell. Love tends ta’ cloud the mind, y’know.”You don’t know, you think, but whatever! What about the others?“Not too keen on that ‘big brother’ act Tuck puts on.” Replies the old man. “He’s an easygoin’ sort, but you spend too much time fussin’ over others you’ll forget about yer’ own skills. Kinda reminds me of that friend of yers–the pretty one with the purple hair.”Syb, right? Yea, she gets a little bossy…“Folk like them like to be right.” Continues Gramps with a mixture of wariness and sympathy in his voice. “Ta’ be the smart ones… but when they can’t do that or they don’t got the right answers, well…” He makes a collapsing gesture with his hands. “They break down like a house a’ cards.”So what, you ask with growing interest, should you, like, watch out for them?“Jus’ remember that everyone’s got his limits.” The skeleton answers in a clear voice. “I seen stablehands charge into battle ‘gainst hardened killers far too many times thanks ta’ misjudged strength, an’ it always ended the same way–care ta’ guess how?”They uh… they won?“You got a WORM in yer’ head? No, darn it, they ended up dead!” He exclaims irritably! “I told you about leadership before, damn it–this here’s another lesson! Don’t let stablehands fight killers, ya’ hear?”You… kinda do? He’s telling you to keep track of everyone’s strengths… even if they think they’re better!“Well I’ll be…” Remarks the lawman with genuine surprise, “That might be the first smart thing you’ve ever said, missy.”Bullshit–you’ve said a bunch of smarterer things in the before!>CONTD.
>>5352165“Anywho,” The old man concludes with a shrug, “I reckon you’ll figure it out… all the cards’ll be on the table tomorrow whether we like it ‘r not.”See, there he goes again being all grim and foreboding, you frown, planting your hands on your hips impatiently! What’s his deal, anyways?“What’cha mean by that, missy?” He retorts defensively!What’cha mean, you reply, is that he’s acting funny! He gives you his SICK-ASS GUN, gives you, like, two hugs, and he keeps talking about tomorrow like it’s gonna beat him over the head with a sack of doorknobs!The Marshal raises a grey eyebrow your way. “... and?”Well, you sputter with growing confusion, why!? He wasn’t concerned when you stormed that mine together–what’s so different about this next fight? What’s got you glum, chum?Gramps opens his mouth to insult you again, but pauses when a somber expression darkens his face.“This…” He begins, as if he was about to explain why a goldfish died to a toddler, “This fight will be different, Stan. Much different.”But how, you persist! How is it different? You’re still fighting skelet-“You’re not fighting ‘skeletons’, damn it!” He roars, nearly lunging out of his chair, “You’re fighting something that can take a man’s life just by staring at him! That can raise the dead as easy as you or I put a hat on!” Something in your eyes causes the old man to cool down a bit, and with an apologetic sigh, he slowly, but wearily collapses back into his chair.“Just… he ain’t no bandit, kid… and you’d have to be a damned fool to treat him like one.”Watching the crotchety old skeleton drum his chair’s armrests with shaky fingers, the final piece of the puzzle falls into place in your mind.You’re… you’re scared, aren’t you?“I am.” The Marshal nods in a hushed tone. “Not of death, mind, already been through it before.”Yea, you mutter, you came close too…“No, I don’t fear going back there–especially knowing my wife an’ boy lived on.” He continues, “But knowing that there are things out there… things that can snatch a man’s soul and make it dance on strings…” The skeleton stares into your eyes. “There ain’t nothin’ more wrong in this world than that.”Taking a steadying breath, The weary lawman continues to bore holes in your face with his glowing red eyes. “So whatever happens tomorrow, Stanley Parble, you put that sick sonnovabitch in the ground, you hear? And you salt the land where you buried him.”Oh you will, you nod, you will!“And you take damn good care of yourself an’ yer own,” He concludes, not taking his eyes off you, “Don’t underestimate him.”>CONTD.
>>5352169“WEE-WOO-WEE-WOO!”“THIS IS THE DRINK POLICE! WE’RE EN ROUTE TO THE SCENE NOW!”Charging through the tense atmosphere like a bull through a pane of glass come your dumbass friends hooting and hollering like madmen with a cornucopia of drinks in each hand! Miming a patrol car screeching to a halt in front of you and Gramps, Eddie triumphantly holds out two very different drinks–a dark bottle of whiskey in one hand and a glass filled to the brim with an impeccably GREEN drink in the other garnished with a lemon wedge and a cocktail cherry!“KKCSH! OFFICERS BERRY, HODGKINS, AND VALENTI ON THE SCENE!” He announces as he points the drinks at you like a pair of pistols!“LAY DOWN YOUR BULLSHIT AND PREPARE TO DRINK!” Art declares, barely stifling his laughter!“Uh… YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN DRUNK!” Tucker adds in a tone that’s nowhere near as goofy or slurred as the other two. “Yea, they might’ve had a shot or two.”Crossing over to Gramps with his bottle of booze, Eddie shoves the whiskey into the skeleton’s chest with a thumbs up! Before Pops can say anything inflammatory, the film student is already in front of you holding out your drink like a waiter at a fancy restaurant!“And for zee mademoiselle…” He begins before turning to give Art an impatient nod,“Zee uh… zee TOKYO TEA!``announces the Rent-A-Cop as he pumps his fist and, by extension, his identical drink into the air triumphantly! “You’re gonna LOVE it, Stan! LOVE it!”Okay, you stammer, still recovering from the mood whiplash as you take the drink from Eddie’s hand very gingerly, what is it anyways?“It’s booze, duh!” Art answers in a matter-of-fact tone! “Err, it’s a spin-off of a LONG ISLAND ICED TEA! It’s good!” He adds when it looks like you’re about to slug him.“Must be if you two clowns are already pickled!” Remarks Gramps as he takes a long swig from his bottle! “Christ Almighty…”“Hey, we’re not that drunk, honest!” Eddie counters with sudden seriousness in his voice!“Yea, just a little tipsy!” Art nods as he glances to Tucker for aid!“Don’t worry, Stan–I kept a close eye on ‘em.” Reports the film student as he slaps both guys on the back. “No one’s gonna be hungover tomorrow if I can help it.”“Never fear,” Art adds as he takes a cautious sip of his own tea, “I made a vow to Syb not to go overboard tonight!”“More like she threatened you into agreeing!” Eddie snickers, mimicking a cracking whip before getting an elbow to the stomach! “OW!”>CONTD.
>>5352172“Tomato, tomato, right? The drinks are here, so who cares?” Art shrugs as he pulls up a chair!“You’re welcome, by the way!” Eddie adds with a wink, still recovering from Art’s attack! “How is it, Stan?”Pretty damn good, you remark as you take the first, fruity sip! “An’ dangerous, too!” Ly warns as you take a longer, deeper swig! “Can barely taste da’ booze in dat’ thing!”“That’s the point, though, right? Keep this stuff coming, Stan–even I’M starting to taste some of it!” Nats counters with a mischievous giggle! Well if she insists…Taking another big sip, you let out an exultant sigh as your worries slowly drift away! That’s the stuff!“Oh shit, Stan–did Gramps lend you his gun?!” Exclaims Eddie as he notices the rifle still laid across your lap! “Hey, we should shoot some more bottles with it!”“Hey, yea!” Art adds with growing excitement in his voice! “You wanna, Stan?”“That thing ain’t a damn toy, ya’ know!” Growls Pop-Pop from his folding chair! “But if you’d like ta’ give it a try, well…”As much as you’d like to, you reply, rising from your chair, you were gonna make a few more rounds while you’re still somewhat sober!“Not a bad idea, actually…” Gramps mutters as he gets up from his seat as well, “Might stretch my legs a bit while I still can.”“Come on, really?” Eddie protests with a pleading look on his face, “Where are ya’ planning on running off to anyways?”“Gee, I wonder…” Art remarks with a smug grin on his face. Watch it, buster!“Where?” Asks Eddie with growing confusion!“Dunno, actually! Where were you planning on going, Stan?” Continues the Rent-A-Cop with rapidly-increasing SMUGNESS!This bitch right here! How do you respond?>LIE! DON’T TELL THEM YOU’RE GOING TO THE ARENA!>JUST LEAVE! YOU’RE THE BOSS, DAMN IT!>CONVINCE! YOU JUST WANT TO CHECK IN WITH KIKI, TALBOT, AND SOME OF THE SKELETONS!>KILL ART! WAIT… SYB WILL BE ANNOYED. JUST UH… JUST MESS WITH HIM AND GO!>DISTRACT! LOOK BEHIND YOU!>WRITE-IN!
Got some plans until later, so can't promise another update until TUESDAY AROUND 10-11AM PST! Might get something in before that, but we'll have to see! Hope to see you next time!One more thing since I forgot to add it: here's another option to choose from!>CHILL FOR A BIT! YOU CAN SHOOT A FEW MORE BOTTLES, YOU GUESS!
>>5352174>WRITE-IN!Going to see the arena fights, since we already got to see Mitzi and SYB sing.
>>5352172I'm not terrified of a green drink. I'm not. Honestly.Oh god oh god oh god.
>>5352362That was literally my first thought. If I were Stan, I’d have PTSD screeched and chucked the drink as hard as I could have. I’m worried about how we’ll deal with those fuckers this close to the end. We don’t have time to seek out counter-measures.But I don’t know if we IC even remember dealing with them. Bones wrote it up as though we don’t even remember who they are.
>>5352362>>5352382Remember who? : )They remember.
>>5352434Alright, so we don’t remember. At least now I know.
>>5352350>>5352364>>5352693>YOU WANNA SEE THE FIIIIGHTS!Writing!>>5352483Remember what?
Typical evil Art–won’t even let you go beat the snot outta’ people because APPARENTLY going anywhere that Talbot and Kiki might be is a CRIME now! Standing firm with your hands on your hips, you explain to your merry gang of ‘Doubting Thomases’ that you just wanna go see the damn FIGHTS! “Yea, bu-”I mean, you continue, deftly interrupting the vicious ART BITCH, you already saw Mitz and Syb sing an eight minute song–you need a pallid clencher, damn it!“Oh yea…” Eddie muses as you finish your explanation, “Weren’t you gonna go track her down, Artie?”The ginger’s eyes go wide in realization as Eddie’s words sink in! “Oh crap, you’re right! Later, guys!”Rushing off amidst a chorus of cracking whip impersonations, the Rent-A-Cop leaves you all by hastily raising a middle finger over his shoulder! Man, you remark as you and your pals watch him disappear into the crowd of skeletons, what a sad, defeated little man…“It is kinda pathetic, isn’t it?” Tucker remarks as Eddie adds a low ‘mhm’ in assent.“Tch… women...” Spits Gramps with disdain. Tell me about it!“So uh… we movin’?” Your skeleton asks impatientLY. “I wanna see some punchin’!”“ME TOO!” Exclaims Nats with renewed eagerness in her disembodied voice! “BLOOD! BLOOD! BLOOOOD!”Alright, chill, you’re working on it! Turning towards your remaining pals, you inform them that you’re, as they say, ‘headin’ out’.“Same. Maybe we’ll run into ya’ at the arena.” Tucker replies as he and Eddie share a contemplative glance. Sure, you shrug, and maybe you’ll run into them too!Before they can respond any further, you give your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, gr-“He’s not DAT’ old, cupcake.”Whatever! You tackle Pops into another hug as you safely store his rifle into your coverall pockets! Stay outta’ trouble, Pop-Pop!“You too, sweetheart…” He mutters as he gives your back a few warm pats. “Take care out there.”Replying with a manic giggle, you take another swig from your GREEN DRINK before scurrying off in search of more mischief! The night is young, bitches!>CONTD.
>>5352793Like the shooting range you just departed from, the ARENA isn’t entirely difficult to locate even with the constant background noise consisting of cheers, weapon discharge, and rattling bones. Following your FEMININE INTUITION leads you to a lit-up ring smack dab in the parking lot where a massive crowd makes it near impossible for someone as vertically-challenged as you to see what’s happening!“Huh.” Ly remarks as you hop a few times to get a peek at the ring, “They really oughta’ have a few more of these ta’ space things out, huh?”Yea, you pout as you take a break from hopping, say, maybe you could, like, crowd-surf over to the center?“I mean… we could try...” Replies the skeleton’s disembodied voice, “Oooor we could just climb dat’ lamppost and take a look.”Letting Ly crane your neck in the direction of the target, you respond with a nod–yea… you’ll probably get groped a lot less if you do that, huh?Clambering up the post like a raccoon on a mission, you try your best to ignore the frigid evening breeze as you take a seat atop the lamp and observe what’s happening in the ring!From what you can tell, two SKELANIMALS circle each other in the ring–both with catlike torsos and bird skulls–maybe chickens?“Ah,” Ly observes as you idly rub your bare arms to keep warm, “Must be a cockfight, huh?”“Not what I expected…” Nats mutters with disappointment in her voice.>CONTD.
>>5352795Squinting a bit to get a better view, you can just barely make out the overly-ostentatious blue officer’s coat of a familiar skeleton–one who sicced a pair of mutant sea critters on you for shits n’ giggles once upon a time. Twirling his mustache as he watches the fight, he turns to the bearded buccaneer next to him and exchanges a few hushed words–it’s only after the latter elbows the former in the ribs that you realize he’s talking to ANDRE!“Not gonna lie–totally expected dat’ guy ta’ be dead by now.” Mutters Ly as you continue to scan the crowd. Lucky for you, skin’s at a premium in this joint, so it doesn’t take you long to spot KIKI’S tiny, but fearsome form trying to communicate with a bonehead wearing a green, sparkly coat and holding a microphone.“Probably tryin’ ta’ set up a match, huh?” Guesses Ly.Before you can answer, you spot another familiar face in the crowd–one wearing a familiar RED BOWTIE and a grubby tracksuit! Wait a minute, you hiss to yourself, who the hell is he talking to!?“Looks like a couple of GREASER GALS!” Reports Nats as you come to the same conclusion seconds later! “Pretty impressive that they can look so good in those leather pants with no flesh, huh?”You don’t bother answering. Surrounding the redhead like curly-haired vultures, the greaser gals giggle and twirl their luscious locks with their bony fingers as Talbot hits them with what you assume are jokes!“Nice to see everyone mingling and getting along so well!” Nats says with a contented sigh. “I keep forgetting all of these skeletons were once real people!”“Hey, we’re still real… kinda!” Ly counters with a hint of resentment in his voice! “We gonna stay perched up here all night, Stan?”Since when are there girl skeletons?“Stan!”Whuh?! Oh, Ly, you sputter as you’re dragged back into reality, yea, what?“What. Are. We. Doing. Next?”Easy, Eager Beaver–you’re getting to it! What do?DRINK STATUS: DEFINITELY BUZZED!>WATCH THE REST OF THE, heh, COCKFIGHT!>SAY HEY TO ANDRE AND HIS DUMBASS BROTHER!>SAVE TUCKER FROM THOSE HARPIES, FAST!>CHECK IN WITH KIKI AND SEE WHAT SHE’S UP TO!>SEE IF YOU CAN GET A MATCH SET UP WITH THAT FLASHY-COAT GUY!>ON SECOND THOUGHT, YOU MIGHT WANNA HEAD SOMEWHERE ELSE FOR A BIT!>WRITE-IN!
>>5352796>SAVE TUCKER FROM THOSE HARPIES, FAST!Did you mean save Talbot from those harpies?If so, then my vote is >SAVE TALBOT FROM THOSE HARPIES, FAST!
>>5352820Aw damn it! Yes, that's what I meant. Tucker's safe, don't worry!>>5352796Choice should read>SAVE TALBOT FROM THOSE HARPIES, FAST!Sorry--guess the coffee didn't kick in yet!
>>5352796>SAVE TALBOT FROM THOSE HARPIES, FAST!
>>5352820>>5352856>SAVE TUC-ERR, TALBOT! I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM! WHAT, YOU GONNA TRY TO 'FIX' ME? MAKE ME NORMAL LIKE ALL THE OTHERS? TURN THAT MIRROR AROUND AND TAKE A GOOD, HARD LOOK AT YOURSELF! NO! SHUT UP! I CAN GET HELP WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT! SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUP!Writing!
HARK, you exclaim, pointing dramatically at the arena and nearly tumbling off your perch from the sheer force behind the gesture, look over there, Ly!“Yea, way ahead of ya’, kid…” He replies in a confused tone. “We basically share da’ same eyesight, remember?”Then check again, you command in a stern voice! Talbot’s being attacked!“Is… is that what you call that?” Nats asks with genuine curiosity. “I see…”“Looks pretty comfortable ta’ me, cupcake.” Counters your skeleton with the usual ignorance. “Hell, he almost seems ta’ be havin’ fu-”N-no, he’s in trouble… but not for long! Not waiting to watch what terrible plans unfold, you swiftly formulate a rescue plan and spring into action!ROLL ME 1d100+15 (+5 BUNNY SUIT, +5 DEMON STRENGTH, +5 DEMON LEGS) TO GET IN THERE AND RESCUE YOUR EX-BODYGUARD FROM CERTAIN PERIL! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!BONEUS AWARDED TO CREATIVE ENTRANCES!
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>5352919I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see a nat 1 here, just for laughs.
Rolled 25 + 15 (1d100 + 15)>>5352919>>5352927You call. I answer.I'm that one-anon... my ID just changed.
>>5352931Mark my words, we will have another 100 this thread or close to it. The pattern must come to fruition!
Rolled 58 + 15 (1d100 + 15)>>5352919
>>5352919We should run in and try to play it off by grabbing his hand and pulling him along, smiling and telling him we’ve been looking all over, we were wondering where he went. Really ham up the fondness performance and trick the skeleton-girls.
>>5352927>>5352931>>5352938>HIGHEST ROLL: 89!>>5352987Not that you need it, but thanks to this idea we've got a +5 BONEUS! Writing!
Swooping down from your perch like that bat you taught a lesson to not too long ago, you home in on Talbot and his new friends faster than a heat-seeking missile! Pushing and shoving through the sea of arena-goers, you meld with the shadows behind your ex-bodyguard just as he finishes delivering what sounds like some kind of punchline to… something.“-o she says: ‘Well I never asked ya’ to EAT it!’ HAH!”Like a dam bursting open, the THREE (you got a solid count mid-scurry) GREASER GALS erupt into raucous laughter–the kind that were you not currently standing next to a frantic skeleton cockfight would probably be pretty loud!“Oh Talbie, you dog...” Tuts a gal with a red bandana tied in her lavish, black hair!“He’s a riot, ain’t he, Claudette?” Giggles another with a polka-dot bow in her sandy locks! “Nothing like these other gorillas…”“Tell us another one, honey!” Pleads the last member of the trio with a blonde mane running all the way down to her leather-clad legs! “Don’t be a drag!”“Well okay,” Talbot chuckles as you creep into a better position, “but after this I REALLY gotta stop, ok-”Your hand darts out from the crowd like a freckled viper and clasps around his with machinelike efficiency! Before he even notices what happened, you emerge from behind the big oaf with a toothy grin and a glint in your eye!THERE you are, Talbie, you croon as you step between him and his audience, I was looking ALL OVER for you!Your sudden appearance hits the poor guy like a truck. “Bwuh-Stan?”That’s right, you reply with a wink, the one and only! Pressing your drink against his lips like a mom trying to feed a fussy baby, you shift your gaze between him and the ruthless predators behind you! Look, you add, you even got a cool drink for him to try!“Woah, neat!” He remarks as he takes the glass and downs the remaining contents like a marathon runner would a glass of water! “Shit, you call this booze? Tastes like friggin’ fruit pu-”“Hey, what’s the big idea, huh?” Asks the gal previously referred to as Claudette with a rapidly-darkening expression.AHAHAHA, you laugh as you lightly pat your fellow janitor’s broad chest, always with the jokes, this guy! >CONTD.
>>5353090Say, you segue, deftly ignoring the greaser’s pointed question by tugging Talbot away from his fan club, what say we get you a REAL drink, uh… b-bright-eyes?“Now that’s the best idea I’ve heard from you, like, EVER!” He shrugs, confusion giving way to the promise of free stuff, “I’ll take a-”NoNONO, you interject as the greaser gals lean into a quiet huddle behind you, he’s gotta go with you! Because, uh…They’re ID’ing!“Pfft, SERIOUSLY?!” He scoffs, returning to his usual brash self, “Fine, but I gotta be back soon-”“Talbie here’s got a match comin’ up!” Explains Polka-Dot Bow as she rests her bony elbow on his broad shoulder!“An’ he promised that once he won he’d take us all dancin’!” Adds Claudette as she rests her elbow on his other shoulder! “So take a hike for a bit, sweetheart!”Wait a sec, you hiss, voice devoid of its previous warmth, you promised you’d take them dancing? ALL OF THEM?“What!? No I didn’t!” Talbot counters! “They’re lying!”Oh! Okay, cool!“Talbie, sweetheart, ya’ just promised us two minutes ago.” Says Blondie as she leans in close with no remaining shoulders to park her elbow on. “Just before the joke, remember?”They’re NOT LYING?!“No! I mean… YES! I dunno!” Running his hand through his hair as confusion builds in his expression, Talbot gives you a sheepish look. “I uh… all I’ve had today are a handful of chips, six or seven beers, and a shot of vodka, Stan–m-maybe I did?”Unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable, you mutter under your breath as you shake your head in disbelief.“Why do you care anyways?” Ly asks, earning a punch to your own ribs! You don’t! You just… Talbot, let’s get you that damn drink!“Uh… alright…” He stammers, still not totally sure of what’s happening. “But I still gotta fi-”YOU’LL HANDLE IT! LET’S GO!>CONTD.
>>5353092“Man, nice save back there, Stan!” Talbot remarks as you lead him through the crowd towards what you assume is the direction of the nearest drink stand, “Those skeleton girls were like… I didn’t even know there were skeleton girls!”Yep, you grunt, leading him onward with a stone-faced expression.“Didn’t we just fight a witch, tho-”Shut up, Ly.“Was wonderin’ when you were gonna show up!” Adds the janitor as you squeeze past a quartet of skeletons in mariachi attire, “I thought you were gonna head to the ARENA first, but Art and Tucker thought you’d hit up the CONCESSION STAND. Ed was betting on the SHOOTING RANGE, but I’ll bet it wasn’t that, right? Huh?”Nope.“Seriously though–thanks. I figure if I go into the scrap with a good buzz I’ll be more creative, y’know? And if the poor S.O.B somehow manages to hit me, well, I ain’t gonna feel it-”Mhm.Finally registering something different in your tone, Talbot looks your way apprehensively as you spot a group of partygoers crowded around a small booth with colorful bottles on the counter! Jackpot!“You uh… are you mad? You sound a little mad. Or wait, you on the rag? Cuz’ I can’t see the moon right now, but I’m pretty sure that has to do with where the moon is. Y’know, like werewolves. You feelin’ like a werewolf, Stan? Are periods like werewo-”Oh my GOD, you groan as you finish dragging him over to the counter, just… just order a drink, man! Obliging you, Talbot still stares at you appraisingly as confusion continues to spread across his face.“Alright, seriously though–what’s up?”Nothing! Nothing’s up, you answer as you pantomime pulling a tap to the bartender! “Uh-huh. And I’m the Queen of Spain.” Scoffs Nats. No she ISN’T! Probably!“So what, you just dragged me over here so we can get a drink together?” He asks with growing suspicion in his tone!Yep, you nod with renewed chipperness as the barkeep plants two beers in front of you!“... holding my hand the whole way?”You betcha, you nod again before attempting to drown the growing redness in your cheeks with beer! Y-you weren’t gonna carry him, h-haha!Searching your face a little longer, the janitor finally relents and clinks his glass against yours. “Alright, thanks for looking out, Stan.”Mhm!“Gee, flawless form, cupcake. Really.”Shut it, Ly! >CONTD.
>>5353096With the tense atmosphere slowly diminishing around you, you finally have Talbi-err, TalBOT safely away from those harpies! Mission Complete!MISSION COMPLETE: HARPY HAVOC!But uh… but now what?>ASK ABOUT HIS FIGHT!>TELL HIM ALL ABOUT YOUR NIGHT SO FAR!>SUGGEST YOU BOTH DO, LIKE, A TEAM MATCH, OR SOMETHING!>CHALLENGE HIM TO A FIGHT AFTER THE ONE HE SIGNED UP FOR!>ASK HOW KIKI’S DOING!>GRILL HIM ABOUT THOSE GREASERS! WHAT WAS THAT, HM?>INQUIRE AS TO HOW HE’S FEELING ABOUT TOMORROW!>TAKE HIM BACK TO GET READY FOR THE FIGHT!>WRITE-IN!
>>5353120>ASK ABOUT HIS FIGHT!Keep the topic off of us and he’ll forget about it. Also, I’m interested in who he’s going to be fighting.
>>5353160>>ASK ABOUT HIS FIGHT!>INQUIRE AS TO HOW HE’S FEELING ABOUT TOMORROW!
>>5353160>>5353207>ASK ABOUT DA' FIGHT!>AAAAND ABOUT TOMORROW!Writing what will probably be the last update tonight! Got some plans later in an hour or so.
Taking your time sipping your drink, you let out an exultant sigh before raising an eyebrow his way. So, you begin, who’s he up against anyways?“Wish I knew!” Shrugs the janitor as he takes a hearty swing from his mug and grins! “Think Kiki was asking the organizer guy about that–far as I can tell it’s all random, but, like, not unfair, y’know?” Catching your gaze, Talbot leans in a little closer with a smug look forming on his face. “Why? Ya’ worried about me?”Yea right, you reply as you take another sip of beer! He should be relieved that it isn’t you!“Uh-huh, whatever you say, Stan.” He snickers with a condescending nod! “... Wait, you’re not my opponent, right?” The smug expression immediately turns wary! “Is that what you were doing before you pulled me over here?” Glancing fearfully between you and his drink, fear grows in his bulging eyes! “Did… did you DRUG me!? Holy shit, Stan, if you seriously roofied me just to have a small chance at winni-”Pausing mid-rant, your ex-bodyguard silently yet frantically debates whether to spit the potentially drugged booze onto the ground or continue drinking!Take it easy, you dumbass, you say with a dismissive sigh, if you were his opponent you wouldn’t need to drug him–he’s weak enough already!“Yea, you’d better no-HEY!”He’s watched a few rounds already, right? What’s the competition like?Taking your bait hook, line, and sinker, Talbot’s anger immediately subsides in favor of giving you the scoop! “All over the place. That Andre guy and his brother have gone at it like, eighteen times now–guess they really like beating the crap outta’ each other? Then some cat and mouse skeletons had some beef with each other… Kiki hasn’t gone yet, but I feel like she’s gonna be on soon.”Scrunching his face up in contemplation, he concludes his spiel with a shrug. “It’s all pretty chill, though–mostly been drunk skeletons bumpin’ into each other. Hell, fight’s basically over once someone hits the ground.”Andre and his brother, huh? So you CAN arrange matches!“Guess so.” The janitor grunts as he takes another swig. “So long as you talk to the arranger, probably. I just told him to surprise me–not like any of the gang was around, and I don’t wanna hurt Kiki or whatever.”You can’t help but raise an eyebrow at that last part. So sure of himself, is he?“Come on, Stan, you’ve seen me in action!” Talbot counters! “I could, like, fall on that girl and she’d be done. It’d be embarrassing.”Welp, you shrug, we’ll just have to see, won’t we?“Seriously though: it’s not you, right?”You answer with a vague smile as you take another sip of beer. Who knowwwwws?“Damn it, if you roofied me I’m gonna kick your ass!Not if you’re roofied, dumbass!“SCREW YOU!”>CONTD.
>>5353358After a few minutes of kicking each other’s shins later, the two of you pause your feud as another round of beers is placed next to you on the counter. “Man, could you imagine if you could get booze everywhere like at this party?” The janitor muses as the two of you clink the glasses together. “Like you’d just walk along the street and boom: Booze Stand!”You can imagine it, moron–it’s called a GAS STATION.“Yea, but they always get pissed off when you sit down and drink it right there…” Talbot retorts with a furrowed brow. He ain’t wrong…Taking a particularly long swig, the tracksuited terror exhales with glee. “This is nice, huh?”Yea, you reply with a crooked smile forming on your face, it kinda is, isn’t it? Stretching your back as a long yawn escapes your lips, your grin sinks a bit. Too bad tomorrow has to happen, huh?“Yea, about that…” Talbot sighs as a more serious expression clouds his face, “You… you mind doing me a favor, Stan?”Err, you stammer, taken off-guard by his sudden seriousness, depends on what it is…“Can we uh…” He begins, trailing off into a sigh, “Can we talk about tomorrow and all of that stuff, like… later?”Uh, Earth to Talbot: tomorrow IS later! Duh-DOI!“I know, dumbass, I meant later TONIGHT.” He groans. Despite his usual abrasiveness, you can’t help but sense a genuine weariness in his request. Why uh, you mutter, still flatfooted, why not now?“Lessee… because I’m trying to have a good time?” He replies, counting his reasons off on his fingers. “Because I’ve got a fight in like, half a minute? Because there’s skeletons everywhere? Take your pick, Stan.”Okay, okay, you huff, simmer down a little, alright? Seeing something in your expression, your ex-bodyguard takes a breath before adopting a softer tone.“Look, I’m sorry, alright? I uh… there’s just a lot to say, y’know? About… a lot of stuff.”And he doesn’t wanna talk about it now, you conclude, or out in the open at a booze stand.“Don’t pay me no mind, chillun’,” Interrupts a skeleton in a grey Civil War uniform as the bartender deposits a fruity-looking drink with a cocktail umbrella into his outstretched hand, “Mother dearest didn’t raise an eavesdropper, no suh…”Departing with a jaunty tip of his weathered hat, you and Talbot are left to your own devices when the bartender starts to take orders from the far end of the bar.>CONTD.
>>5353359So, you continue with a quick sigh, when was he thinking of talking, hm?“I dunno… before we both pass out?” He suggests with a bewildered shrug. “I still wanted to shoot and check a few things out before goin’ to bed, so…”You’ve got some stuff to do too, you nod. Did he find a place to crash yet?“Nope, but if you find one I can probably track ya’ down.” He explains with a tinge of embarrassment in his voice. Riiiight, he’s got that whole ‘Stan-Tracker’ thing still built into him, huh?“Yea…” He sighs, bringing his drink to his lips.You don’t really have much of a reason to say no, but who knows what’s gonna happen tonight? How do you reply?>SURE–JUST FIND ME TONIGHT, I GUESS!>OKAY–YOU WANNA GO LOOK AFTER YOUR FIGHT?>LET’S JUST MEET UP TOMORROW OR SOMETHING–YOU MIGHT HAVE STUFF GOING ON TONIGHT!>YOU’LL THINK ABOUT IT!>COME ON, LET’S JUST TALK NOW! WHO NEEDS PRIVACY?>WRITE-IN!That's it for now, all! Sorry for running off--should have more WEDNESDAY AROUND 10-11AM PST unless I feel up to another update later tonight! Thanks for playing and for putting up with the slow pace of this chapter--I promise we'll be back to more actiony crap eventually!
>>5353361>>SURE–JUST FIND ME TONIGHT, I GUESS!
>>5353361>SURE–JUST FIND ME TONIGHT, I GUESS!
>>5353361>SURE–JUST FIND ME TONIGHT, I GUESS!Watch us sleep in a tree again because there aren’t any trailers left. Although I suppose that is where raccoons usually sleep.
>>5353363>>5353384>>5353475>SURE, FIND ME LATER!Writing!
Well you weren’t exactly planning on having an afterparty in whatever hole you end up passing out in tonight and Talbot’s being remarkably polite for once in his short, stupid life, so you don’t have much trouble in giving the guy an answer! Sure, you reply with a reassuring nod, he can find you later!“Whuh-really?” He asks with a surprised expression, “Uh, alright. Cool.” Okay, you frown, what’s that all about?“Nothin’, just…” Talbot mutters before downing the rest of his beer, “I expected you to argue more, or something. Y’know, like usual.”If he wants an argument you’ll give him one, you snarl as you take another swing at his shin with your rubber-booted foot! Hold still, you bas-Before you can introduce the janitor to the agony of deFEET, an unholy din of drunken cheers ring out from the direction of the arena followed by an unfamiliar voice amplified by a microphone!“SET THE TABLE, FOLKS, CUZ’ THAT CHICKEN’S DONE! What, is that racist? Am I be-I’m on the mic, man, jus-OKAY, MOVING RIGHT ALONG! UP NEXT FOR THE BONE BRAWL AND YOUR ENTERTAINMENT… LET’S CALL ‘TALBURT’ TO THE RIIIIING! SERIOUSLY, GET OVER HERE!”Eyes bulging at the announcer’s… announcement, Talbot glances at you excitedly! “That’s me, Stan! I’m up!”Uh, rewind the tape, doofus: he said ‘Talbur-oh. Nevermind.Flagging down the bartender for two more beers, the janitor dramatically sweeps the fresh drinks off the bar and onto the ground the second they’re placed in front of you! HEY!“NO TIME, Stan! Let’s GO!”Snatching your hand in his, you trail behind him like a deflated pool toy as he lumbers back towards the ARENA with the grace and speed of a drunk buffalo!“This is fun. I’m having fun tonight!” Nats remarks as you flutter in the chilly evening breeze like a forgotten kite!>CONTD.
>>5353848“So!” Talbot pants as the two of you draw closer to the ARENA, “Whatcha’ gonna give me when I win my match, huh?”Slowly recovering from the sudden hand-holding, you do what you do best and come out swinging! No clue, you growl–wasn’t he planning on taking those girls dancing?“Uh… I err..” He stammers as he nearly trips into the crowd surrounding the ring, “That wasn’t-”Just focus on winning, tough guy, you add in an unimpressed tone. As they say: don’t count your chipmunks before they crash!“I’ll count whatever I want!” Replies the janitor with renewed confidence! “You know me, Stan–who the hell are they gonna toss at me that can-”“Oh good, you made it.” Interrupts the skeleton in the sparkly green coat as he flags you two down. “Hurry yer’ ass up–your opponent’s waitin’ for ya.”Releasing your hand, Talbot gives the announcer’s comments a dismissive wave! “Yea, yea… keep your coat on, twinkle-toes!” Glancing back at you one last time, your ex-bodyguard flashes you a cocky smile! “Wish me luck, yea?”Uh-huh, you nod with a grin slowly forming on your unimpressed face, knock ‘em dead!Striding into the ring with both arms lifted in the air, Talbot works the crowd like a pro–waving and pointing finger guns all over the audience, he takes his place on one side of the ring only after the MC finally coaxes everyone into shutting up!“AaAAAAaaaND HIS OPPONENT IN THIS DAVID AND GOLIATH MATCHUP: DON’T LET HER LOOKS DECEIVE YOU, FOLKS, SHE’S A LIT FIRECRACKER! GIVE IT UP FOR… KIIIIIIIIKIIIII!!!!!”https://youtu.be/JHQa1SA3EtI“Oh SNAP!” Ly exclaims as your team’s pint-sized machine gunner enters the ring with grim determination hidden behind her bangs! As Talbot watches in disbelief, the film student chucks a spent plastic cup to the side as she enters! With killer instinct burning in her obscured eyes, she also takes her time with the crowd by dramatically cupping her hand to her ear and motioning for the skeletons to give it up!“Well, now!” Nats observes as the two fighters prepare for combat, “This oughta’ be exciting!” Sure, you nod, but you don’t know who the heck to root for!Shoving your way through the forest of skeletons, you manage to find a decent viewing spot near the front just in time for the starting bell!Let’s see how this plays out! ROLL ME 2d100–one for TALBOT, one for KIKI! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS FOR EACH! Here’s where you REALLY come in, though: If you WRITE-IN which character you wanna CHEER FOR, they’ll get a BONEUS to the rolls! I’m guessing there will be about ONE OR TWO MORE ROLLS BEFORE THE FIGHT IS DONE! Get going!
Rolled 25, 25 = 50 (2d100)>>5353853
Rolled 19, 27 = 46 (2d100)>>5353853I wouldn’t have felt bad about cheering someone on if they weren’t both our own cronies. Let’s not be too harsh about it and just remind Talbot that he wanted a prize.
>>5353862>>5353859This is shaping up to be a pretty sad fight.
>>5353864I personally wish it ended in the tie.
>>5353864Nah, this is just the part in the anime where the guy shouts about how they're evenly matched, or something. Nah jk Kiki and Talbot both suck, lol
Rolled 92, 3 = 95 (2d100)>>5353853
>>5353853Cheer for Kiki
>>5353879Well, that fixes the stalemate.
>>5353884Yeah, go with this. Let’s cheer for Kiki and tick off Talbot a bit.
>>5353853>Be neutral and explain every technique in entirely too many detail like it's an arena arc.
>>5353859>>5353862>>5353879HIGHEST ROLLS:>TALBOT: 92!>KIKI: 27+TWO CHEERS (+10) = 37!>>5353884>>5353889>CHEER 1 AND 2!>>5353938BE THAT GLASSES GUY IN EVERY ANIMEOOF. Writing!
>>5353938>Based 1 post ID
As the bell rings out across the crowd, neither Kiki nor Talbot dare to make the first move–the former out of what you can only assume is some kind of defensive strategy, the latter, well… dude seems hesitant.“The hell’s he waiting for?” Ly asks impatiently as he cranes your head forward to get a better look!“Maybe he’s worried he’s gonna hurt her?” Suggests Nats as the crowd starts to chant the word ‘fight’ like a bunch of Middle Schoolers!Oooor maybe he just doesn’t wanna hit a girl, you ask as the film student takes a few menacing steps towards her opponent.“He had no problem tossin’ you around back at da’ JOPLIN hootenanny.” Counters your skeleton’s disembodied voice. “Or Mitz.”Hey, yea, you growl as the sudden realization causes you to ignite with growing anger, that SOB didn’t care at all, did he!? Clambering onto the shoulders of a nearby skeleton clad in football pads, you immediately start clapping as you cheer for Kiki to kick him in the teeth!“Jeez, Stan,” Ly mutters in an apologetic tone, “Didn’t mean for ya’ ta’ go dat far…”He can handle it, you hiss as Talbot looks your way with a ‘what the hell?’ look on his face. Besides, you continue as Kiki takes the opportunity to rush him, you won’t have to give him a prize or whatever if he loses!“It’d be pretty cute if you did, though, sis.”Shut uuuuup!>CONTD.
>>5354032By the time Talbot notices Kiki approaching, she’s on him like a janitor-seeking missile! Though nowhere near as tall as her opponent, she makes up for it with the speed and ferocity of her attacks–still flatfooted by your cheering and her sudden appearance, the big oaf is only saved by the GOODBOYNIUM ARMOR his body harbors! As her fists clink harmlessly off of the hardening liquid metal, Kiki keeps up the pressure and switches things up with a vicious spinning kick to the janitor’s center of gravity! Taking the full force of her sneaker, the attack bounces off of the tracksuited terror’s body once more, but not before sending him reeling backwards from the force of the blow!Yes, you nod as the rest of the crowd watches him stumble with baited breath, that must have been THE MOVE!“Nani-err, I mean… What are you talking about, sis?” Nats asks with genuine curiosity!Well, you continue, adjusting the sunglasses you’ve been waiting the whole damn night, that right there is called the TIGER BUSTER–one of Kiki’s most powerful techniques!“... you’re making this up, ain’tcha.” Asks Ly as Kiki circles around the back of Talbot and leaps onto his back like a feral cat!I wouldn’t believe it either if I hadn’t seen it myself, you continue as Talbot struggles to pry the college student off of him amidst a chorus of cheers! But there’s no doubt about it, you conclude with a solemn nod, that’s the one… and that means this fight just got interesting!“Hey, can you keep it down, please?” Asks a skeleton clad in a horned helmet and an animal pelt kilt next to you. “I’m trying to watch, dude.”Sheesh, ‘sorry’!>CONTD.
>>5354034Just when you and the rest of the spectators are starting to get bored watching a six foot tall manchild try and fail to tear a girl the size of most Middle Schoolers off his back, the tracksuited terror springs into action!No really, he springs! Fighting through Kiki’s flurry of punches to his big, dumb, nice-smelling haired head, Talbot jumps backwards in an attempt to crush his assailant with his back!“Whaddaya’ call dat’ one, poindexter?” Ly remarks as Kiki fails to scuttle free in time!That, of course, you begin before the guy next to you shoots you a dirty look, y’know what? Forget it!“Alright, alright, Christ this is painful…” Mutters the announcer before ringing the bell next to him on his platform, “AND THERE GOES THAT ROUND, FOLKS! BUT WE DIDN’T COME HERE TO SEE THAT, NOW DID WE!? LET’S GET READY FOR ANOTHER, BETTER ROUND–WINNER TAKES ALL!”The crowd cheers in assent as Kiki scrambles out from under Talbot’s back like a cat crawling under a door. Letting loose with a triumphant ‘WOO!’, Talbot slaps his cheeks a few times before returning to his corner amidst another round of hoots and hollers! As Kiki staggers back over to hers, she shoots you an appreciative, albeit weary grin.Returning it with one of your own, you momentarily lock eyes with another familiar face across the way–one sporting a thin, but scraggly mustache that saved your ass back in MERMAID JAIL! Waving his bony arm with a triumphant laugh, ANDRE nudges his brother in the side prompting him to notice you as well!Though not nearly as pleased as his sibling, THE MARQUIS tips his admiral’s cap at you with a practiced smile on his face. Looks like they’re fitting right in, huh?“Guess so!” Ly agrees. “Was worried those pirates weren’t gonna make it here after dat’ encounter wit’ Boris an’ his morons on da’ beach…”Yep, you snort, what a dick.Before you can ponder further, the starting bell rings again, and this time it’s for all the marbles!“There he goes, girls!” Exclaims one of the greaser gals from earlier as the trio emerges from a section of the crowd not too far from you, “Ain’t he a dreamboat?”“I’LL say!” Giggles Blondie as she idly powders her bony cheeks, “An’ those arms... I’d let him carry me anywhere!ALL. THE. MARBLES.That shit sucked, so we’ve got one more round for ya! You know the drill: 2d100: One for Talbot, one for Kiki! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 and don’t forget to CHEER!
Rolled 54, 19 = 73 (2d100)>>5354036
Rolled 58, 67 = 125 (2d100)>>5354036
Rolled 38, 81 = 119 (2d100)>>5354036He has no restrictions about throwing punches as us and Mitz, but he won’t hit Keek? Cheer for both of them. Tell Kiki too keep it up, and tell him to quit standing around like a doofus.
>>5354039>>5354051>>5354054HIGHEST ROLLS:>TALBOT: 58+1 CHEER(+5) = 63!>KIKI: 81+1 CHEER (+5) = 86!Jesus, this is turning into a SCRAAAAAP! Writing!>>5354054It seemed like more of a desire NOT to throw punches at her rather than an inability to... m-maybe he'll get more into it in this round? Does Stan even know who the heck she wants to win anymore? Who can say?
>>5354063Then again, he was also significantly more intoxicated when he fought us, so there is that.
“Well crap, can’t call it there…” Mutters the announcer under his breath as Talbot lies twitching on the pavement. “These humans, I swear…” Clearing his nonexistent throat and bringing the mic close to his mouth, the MC resumes his crowd pleaser persona as Kiki offers her opponent a hand in getting up.“WELL THERE YOU HAVE IT, FOLKS: LOOKS LIKE THESE TWO HAVE A BIT MORE FIGHT LEFT IN ‘EM! WHAT SAY WE LET ‘EM BURN THE REST OF IT, HUH? ONE MORE, PEOPLE–PLACE YER’ BETS IF YER’ MAKIN’ EM!”“Wow, this is actually starting to heat up a bit!” Nats remarks as Talbot accepts Kiki’s help. Knocking knuckles, the two return to their corners and prepare for what’s gotta be the last round!“DON’T LET THESE CHUMPS HOG ALL THE FUN, FOLKS: COME SEE MY PARTNER SAL HERE AFTER THE MATCH IF YOU WANNA FIGHT NEXT!” Announces the, well, announcer. Finding Sal lurking just below the MC platform, you make a mental note to check in with him in a sec–just in case you’re looking for a scrap, that is!“Gee, what a drag...” Moans The Polka-Dot Bow gal, “This is takin’ ages…”“Aw can it, Lola,” Grumbles Claudette as she touches up her hair, “Ya’ ever hear da’ phrase ‘patience is a virtue?’”“Sure,” Scoffs Lola, “But I prefer ‘hurry da’ hell up’!”“Yea,” Blondie giggles, “Wouldn’t want a second appearance by da’ AMAZIN’ RACCOON GIRL, right?”“Keep it down, will ya?” Replies Lola with a hint of embarrassment in her voice, “I hear she’s the one who took down those LIEUTENANTS–she’s real, Gretchen!”“Yea,” Gretchen snickers as she pops a fresh piece of gum in her mouth, “A real basket case!”Yea alright they’d better get this damn fight over with NOW.THE FINAL ROUND! You know the drill: 2d100 and CHEERS, folks! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!While I’m at it, got a question for ya:What should Stan do AFTER the fight?!>SIGN UP FOR A SCRAP OF HER OWN!>SAY HEY TO ANDRE AND THE MARQUIS!>FLAG DOWN KIKI!>SNATCH UP TALBOT AGAIN!>HEAD SOMEWHERE ELSE!>WRITE-IN!
Rolled 57, 35 = 92 (2d100)>>5354103>FLAG DOWN KIKI!>SNATCH UP TALBOT AGAIN!We can congratulate them both!
Rolled 89, 55 = 144 (2d100)>>5354103Cheer them both on again.>SIGN UP FOR A SCRAP OF HER OWN!Ask for the toughest fighter they have around. As long as nobody has any objections or wants to do something else.>WRITE-IN!Give Talbot one of our all occasion stickers as a reward. But use pic related if he loses.
>>5354103>>5354109>>WRITE-IN!>Give Talbot one of our all occasion stickers as a reward. But use pic related if he loses.I support this write-in with my vote.
>>5354105Actually, we can do this with my write-in. Just give the sticker to the loser. And give a better sticker to the winner.
Rolled 17, 28 = 45 (2d100)>>5354103Kick his ass Kiki!And then stickers for everyone!
>>5354105>>5354109>>5354161HIGHEST ROLLS (FINAL)>TALBOT: 89+1 CHEER (+5) = 94!>KIKI: 55+2 CHEERS (+10) = 65!Sorry Keek Geeks, looks like Tall Butt wins this one... Writing!
With one last clang, the bell rings and the crowd goes nuts as your two pals prepare for the final bout! Having learned his lesson from the last match, Talbot keeps his distance from Kiki, but doesn’t slack on his footwork either! Baiting her out of her defensive stance by circling her with a series of feints, he watches the girl closely for any cracks in her rock-hard defense!Not to be outdone, Kiki reworks her strategy too! Taking Talbot’s bait, the film student advances into her opponent’s range prompting him to close in for an attack! Though he closes his moves up into short, quick jabs and kicks, it’s still too slow–weaving through his clumsy attacks, the spritely student closes the gap between her and him and strikes like a messy-banged viper!Kiki’s fists become a swarm of angry wasps–-even with his defenses, the sheer speed and spacing of her hits knock him backwards, and try as he might to defend himself, Kiki refuses to get out of his grille once she’s in there!As a last-ditch attempt to dislodge her, Talbot sends her away with a quick, but brutal spin kick! Ducking beneath it, Kiki barely has time to react as Talbot rushes her once more, prompting the crowd, the members rooting for him, at least, to cry out in anguish!With a menacing glint in her bang-covered eyes, Kiki takes the opportunity and runs with it! Sure enough, the setup is exactly the same as before–he rushes her, she plants herself, and as the roar of the audience comes to a head, it ends.THUMP!The announcer’s previous words ring true once more–had you blinked, you woulda’ missed it. Baiting her into another throw, Talbot beat Kiki to the punch and changed course… but not before hoisting the poor girl up like a sack of potatoes and body slamming her to the ground with full force!“HOLY COW, LADIES AND GENTLEBONES!” Exclaims the announcer as the dust clears around the combatants, “MAN, WE REALLY SHOULDA’ HAD A DOCTOR ON HAND, HUH? WHOOPS!”You’re one second away from rushing in to check on the two when the girl rises to give the crowd a shaking thumbs up! Clasping her on the shoulder with glee, Talbot lifts Kiki onto his shoulder and parades the grinning student around the ring as the crowd goes crazy for both of them!“AND THERE YA’ HAVE IT, FOLKS–A GOOD FIGHT AN’ EVEN BETTER SPORTSMANSHIP AFTERWARDS! YA’ LOVE TA’ SEE IT! ALRIGHT, GET THE HELL OUTTA MY RING!”As the two fighters depart through a parting in the crowd, you immediately rush to beat the greaser girls to your friends!>CONTD.
>>5354241“Holy crap,” Pants Talbot as you make your approach, “That… that was crazy…”“You were not half bad yourself–those moves of yours were def’ top shelf!” She chirps in her usual rhyming!Skidding to a halt in front of the two fighters with a broad grin on your face, you bring them both into a quick hug! Now that, you remark as you start to rummage around in your pockets, was something!“You can say that again!” Talbot adds with pride in his voice as Kiki draws you closer into a bigger hug! “She flipped me like a friggin’ omelette, man!”Yea, you say with a snicker, you saw! Jeez, Keek!A faux ‘did I do that?’ look appears on her face as you finally find what you’re looking for! Retrieving the JAR OF ALL-OCCASION STICKERS from your coverall pockets, you deftly hide it behind your back as you give Talbot a mischievous wink! So, you begin, is he ready to get his… PRIZE?“Woah, wha?” He stammers, genuinely taken off-guard, “Really? And here I was thinkin’ you were gonna be too much of a wuss to actually give me something!”Yea well, you sigh, he’s earned it, so hold out your hand and close your eyes, bitch, he knows how the rest goes!Watching with bated breath, Kiki’s fce lights up in awe as you quietly retrieve a COOL STICKER from the jar and place it in Talbot’s outstretched hand! Go on, you nod, take a look, stupid!“Whuh? What’s…” Seeing your prize in his hand, Talbot’s expression shifts from confusion to surprise and finally childlike glee over the span of one second! “SERIOUSLY?!”Yea, dick, congrats, you nod as you pick out another sticker for Kiki! Holding it out for her to grab, you watch as Kiki too lights up with surprise and excitement as she realizes what you gave her!Once the realization kicks in, though, she flips you the bird. That’s the way she goes!So, you begin as both fighters safely stow their prizes in their pockets for later stickin’, who’s up for another drink? You’ll need one before your fi-“Well well well, lookie here, girls!”Whirling towards the voice, you’re saved from a clumsy fall by Kiki’s quick hands as you find yourself staring at the trio of greaser gals from before… and they ain’t amused!>CONTD.
>>5354248https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lcp2XvFMwLQ“Whatcha’ think you’re doin’ with Talbie, doll?” Snarls Lola as she adjusts her Polka-Dot Bow, “You gonna take him to your favorite dumpster or somethin’?”“Yea, run along, racKOOK,” Sneers Claudette as she takes a menacing step forward, “We’re all gettin’ real sick of you butting your head in where it don’t belong, ain’t we, gals?”“Real sick, Claudette…”Gretchen Hisses as she runs a SWITCH COMB through her blonde hair! “So are you gonna bounce, sister, or are we gonna have to show you just how sick we can get?”Hold on a sec, you mutter as your hand returns to the sticker jar, you’re pretty sure you have one for them, too! Fishing around for a few seconds, you find what you need and flick a ‘TAKE A HIKE, SLUTS!’ sticker at Claudette’s powdered-up face! Keep it!“Knew you’d choose the hard way…” She growls as she and the others join in a sadistic giggle fit! “Lucky for you, doll, we’ve got just the thing to settle this whole problem!”“Hold on a sec, ladies…” Interrupts Talbot as he slithers between you and the girls, “Before we do anything crazy here, I’d like to remind you all that there’s plenty of Talbot to go aro-”“CAN IT, YA’ DOPE!”“CAN IT, YA’ DOPE!”“CAN IT, YA’ DOPE!”“CAN IT, YA’ DOPE!”Intimidated by your sudden synchronization, Talbot wordlessly slinks back to the side as a new announcement blares across the festival:“BETTER GO FIND SOME CATNIP, FOLKS, CUZ’ THESE KITTENS DEFINITELY HAVE CLAWS! BY SPECIAL ORDER AND FOR TONIGHT ONLY, WE’VE GOT A MATCH THAT’S SURE TO BE A FIRECRACKER: OUR HOME-GROWN HELLCATS: THE TREMOR SISTEEEEERRS! VERSUS THE CLEANER HERSELF: STANLEY PAAAARBLE!”At the sound of both names, the crowd loses it and never gets it back! Sending a trio of mischievous grins your way, the sisters cock their skulls back towards the arena!“You comin’, pussycat?”Wait a sec, you mutter in confusion, are they serious?“Wait a sec,” Talbot mutters, “You’re sisters?”Focus, dumbass! Kiki, kick him for me! Obeying the command with military efficiency, the film student takes care of keeping Talbot in check while you repeat your question to your foes!“As a matter of fact, we are!” Sneers Claudette as she twirls one of her locks in her finger!“Don’t worry, we won’t hurtcha’. It’s just a friendly rumble, after all!” Explains Lola with a sadistic smirk!“An’ if you just happen to get knocked out an’ sent ta’ bed early, well…” Gretchen concludes with a flash of her teeth, “Oops!”“I…” Ly mutters in utter confusion, “I can’t tell if these broads are dumb, crazy, or both!”One thing’s for sure: you ain’t losing to a bunch of fancy-haired has-beens!>CONTD.
>>5354250“Okay, so here’s the strat, Stan:” Talbot begins as both he and Kiki prepare you on your side of the ring, “First thing’s first: none of this-okay, maybe a little of this is my fault.”For the record, you snarl as you watch your opponents bathe themselves in clouds of perfume so pungent you can feel your eyes and nose start to burn from here, ALL of this is his fault. ALL of it! And that ain’t a strat!“Okay, we’ll table it for now.” Replies your fellow janitor in a placating tone. “Second, and this kinda ties into the first one–it’d be kinda impolite if they won and I didn’t go dance with them, so-”Kiki, you grunt, prompting her to stop massaging your shoulders, hit him again, please. Hard.“OW! I’m just-GNRK!-Trying to b-OOF!-POLITE!”Still kicking him in the shins with gusto, Kiki suddenly remembers something mid-beatdown and fishes a SMALL SIGNED ENVELOPE from her hoodie pocket addressed to YOU! Still kicking Talbot like a champ, she holds it out to you and gestures for you to open it after!Sure, you nod, stowing the letter in your pocket, later! Reciprocating your nod with one of her own, Kiki delivers another kick to Talbot’s stomach as the announcer’s used car salesman voice once again blares from the speakers!“ATTENTION HUMANS: THIS IS NOW THE THIRD TIME I’VE ASKED YA’ TO CLEAR THE DAMN RING! LET’S GET THIS STARTED ALREADY!”Dragging Talbot into the audience, you crack your knuckles as the MC continues! “ALRIGHT LADIES, YOU KNOW THE DRILL: NO MAGIC, NO WEAPONS, NO KOOKY POWERS HERE–JUST GOOD OLE’ FISTS AND FEET! FIRST ONE TO THE GROUND LOSES! AN-”“ALLO’, STAN!” Roars a familiar grog-soaked, accented voice from the audience! “I BET MY SHEET BROZER ZAT YOU’D BE KEEKING ZEZE LADIE’S ASSES! SO TRY NOT TO LO-”“OH MY GOD, SHUT UP!” Roars the MC as he glares daggers at Andre’s sheepish face! “ALRIGHT, GO! GO KILL EACH OTHER, PLEASE!”With a ring of the bell, you and the ladies square up for a scrap!Without your powers or weapons, you might need to think about this one a little more cautiously–after all, you don’t wanna hit that floor too early! What’s the play here?>BE DEFENSIVE! LET THE GIRLS COME TO YOU!>STRIKE WHILE YOU’VE GOT THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE! RUSH ‘EM!>TAUNT THEM! RATTLE THEIR BONES A BIT!>HIT N’ RUN! USE YOUR SPEED TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!>WRITE-IN!
>>5354252>>TAUNT THEM! RATTLE THEIR BONES A BIT!>>HIT N’ RUN! USE YOUR SPEED TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!
>>5354252>TAUNT THEM! RATTLE THEIR BONES A BIT!>HIT N’ RUN! USE YOUR SPEED TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!I can’t think of an insult right now.
>>5354255>>5354263>TAUNT N' TAG!Sure, we can do two in one! Here's how it's gonna play out:ROLL ME 1d100+5(+5 BUNNY SUIT, +5 DEMON STRENGTH, +5 BONE SPEED, -5 RUNNING AND TRYING TO TAUNT, -5 FRIGGIN PERFUME SMELL EVERYWHERE!) TO HIT N' SPIT! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!As per usual, WRITING IN A TAUNT or SPECIFIC ACTION might result in EXTRA BONEUSES for the roll!
>>5354252>TAUNT THEM! RATTLE THEIR BONES A BIT!>>HIT N’ RUN! USE YOUR SPEED TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!Ladies, not even all that pomade can cover up those receeding hairlines. And are you trying to attract boys or raccoons with that stink, because the raccoon is coming in hot!
>>5354309Whoops, sorry--that should be a 2d100+5 for taunting AND attacking! Carry on!
Rolled 86, 35 + 5 = 126 (2d100 + 5)>>5354309Use >>5354311
Rolled 24, 58 = 82 (2d100)>>5354317>>5354309RACOON POWERRRRRRR
Rolled 76, 49 + 5 = 130 (2d100 + 5)>>5354309lets go with this >>5354311
>>5354319>>5354328>>5354329HIGHEST ROLLS:>TAUNT: 91+ 5 WRITE-IN BONEUS = 96!>HIT N' RUN: 63!Writing!
https://youtu.be/i_piia0hKboCautiously, you mutter under your breath as the gals circle you like a pack of wolves, riiight... darting to the side just as the three pounce, you avoid their attack about a week in advance and snicker as they track you with glowing red eyes! Throwing them off-balance with a few feints, you deliver a quick knock to the side of Gretchen’s blonde head and duck out of the way just in time to avoid a pincer attack by the two other sisters!“Ngh,” Blondie growls as the girls struggle to keep you contained, “you gonna run around all day, sis, or are ya’ gonna fight?”“Let her run, Gretch,” Says Claudette with a fiendish grin, “She’ll run outta energy before ya’ know it…”They’re still confident, you think to yourself as the sisters begin to box you in again, better change that!Ladies, you announce as you rush Claudette and drop into a sliding kick, all the pomade in the world won’t cover up those receding hairlines!Jumping over your attack, Claudette swings at your sliding form as her two other sisters rush to cut you off!“Oh, you’d better not be yappin’ about our hair!” Snarls Lola as she just barely misses tackling you as you leap back to your feet!“You’ll be lucky if you have any when we’re done with you!” Gretchen adds as she takes a few wild swings at your face! Ducking and weaving under and around them, you take the opportunity to play a little chin music on her! Delivering a one-two-punch combo to the skeleton’s jaw, you add some icing on the cake in the form of a jumping spin-kick–one that sends Blondie’s skull spinning on its axis!As she struggles to stop her head from spinning, Claudette and Lola pick up the pace and attack you from both sides! When you move to the right, they follow! To the left? Same old! As Lola winds up for an uppercut in front of you, you inadvertently step right into Claudette’s grasp!“Smell that, kid?” She whispers as the acrid scent of her perfume starts to make you woozy, “That’s right–take a big whiff…”Ech, no thanks! Using Claudette’s chokehold for support, you lift both legs up and mule kick the approaching Lola square in her leather-jacketed ribs much to the crowd’s delight!“Zat’s zee way, Stanley!” Roars Andre as Kiki and Talbot cheer next to him, “Tear zem to pieces!”Yea, you huff as you struggle to break free from Claudette’s death grip, you’re workin’ on it! >CONTD.
>>5354358Tucking your head forward, you jerk backwards and slam the back of your skull into the front of the greaser’s with a sickening CRUNCH!“Ooh, dat’s gonna need more den’ a little makeup ta’ touch up…” Ly remarks as Claudette releases you from her clutches! Man, you cough as you reach back and grab Claudette by the neck, are they trying to attract boys or raccoons with that stink?!“Gnk… Boys..”Well you might wanna reread the label, you grin, because this raccoon’s comin’ in HOT!“H-huh?”Taking advantage of their confusion, you yank Claudette in front of you just in time to intercept a kick from the no longer spinning Gretchen! Crashing into her sister at terminal velocity, the girl yelps a quiet ‘sorry!’ as she sends Claudette crashing to the ground!“WOAH-HOH, FOLKS! I HAVEN’T SEEN A GIRL GET HIT LIKE THAT SINCE MY DAD WAS ALIVE! MAN, HE WAS A FIEND, I TELL YA! AT LEAST WHEN HE WAS HITTING HER HE WASN’T HITTING ME! SMALL COMFORTS! BOY, I REALLY OUGHTA SPEAK TO A SHRINK OR SOMETHIN’ ABOUT THIS STUFF INSTEAD OF ANNOUNCING IT TO RANDOM PEOPLE AN’ MAKING THINGS REAL UNCOMFORTABLE, HUH? ANYWAYS, TWO SISTERS REMAIN–WATCH OUT!” “KEEP IT UP, STAN!” Roars Talbot as Kiki wildly fires her LIGHT MACHINE GUN in the air to everyone’s enjoyment, “AND UH… YOU TWO KEEP GOING TOO!”This asshole owes YOU a prize once you sort this crap out for him! Stupid Talbot... seeing Gretchen still regaining her balance from disqualifying her sister, you rush in for the attack, but feel your head start to swim as you rush closer!“D’awww, what’s wrong, honey?” the girl chirps as she brushes the soot off her leather pants, “You ain’t lookin’ so good…”ROLL 1d100+10 (+5 BUNNY SUIT, +5 DEMON STRENGTH, -5 THAT DAMN SCENT!) TO RESIST THE PERFUME! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!Gonna also pick this up THURSDAY AROUND 10-11AM PST–getting a little late over here! Hope to see you then!
>>5354360Shit, I meant 1d100+5! See, this is why I gotta finish for the night--being WAY too nice to you guys.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>5354360Can Ly have brain turn off olfactory?
Rolled 88 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5354360> “WOAH-HOH, FOLKS! I HAVEN’T SEEN A GIRL GET HIT LIKE THAT SINCE MY DAD WAS ALIVE!”Lmao>>5354371If only we had a nose plug or something.
Rolled 86 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5354360
>>5354378why not just put some stickers over them
>>5354390I mean, if bones will allow it, sure. And as long as you don’t care about us looking like an idiot.
>>5354378>>5354390>>5354406Just saw this--you know what? Sure! That's usin' the ole' noodle! I'll give you a flat resistance to the STENCH if you do one last task for me:WHAT'S ON THE TWO STICKERS YOU PLACE OVER YOUR NOSTRILS?I'll write the next update in the morning. Good thinking, gang.
>>5354437If we are covering stench we might as go well with stickers of nice smelling stuff so how about a pie and a rose
>>5354444Genius post and also quads. It must be done, bones.
>>5354444But what if their perfume smells like flowers? That would double the smell. Do we have a poo emoji one?Fun fact: perfumes used to use ass secretions from civets. Don’t ask how I came across this tidbit of info.
>>5354444Quads quads quads
>>5354371>>5354378>>5354386>HIGHEST ROLL: 93!>>5354444>>5354445>>5354452Quads have indeed spoken. Pie and Roses are LOCKED THE FUCK IN!>>5354450Lol perfumeplebs, amiriteHuh... you can't quite place the scent, but whatever it is is making you sleepy... VERY sleepy...WRITING!>captcha: BARKK
>>5354769As your head begins to feel fuzzier than usual, it dawns on you:This perfume SUCKS!Shaking the scent out of your nostrils, you abandon your attack on the downed skeleton in favor of a really neat front flip! As the crowd cheers in amazement, your split-second judgment pays off–you scarcely make it into the air before Gretchen whiffs a mule kick aimed at where your face just was! As her attack goes wide, you land like a pro on the other side of her and deliver a kick of your own to her leather-clad hips!Stumbling from the blow and taking her disgusting scent with her, that lone, dusty lightbulb in your head flickers to life with a plan! Reaching into your JAR OF STICKERS, you swiftly retrieve two about the diameter of your nostrils! Oh hey, they’re NOSTRIL-PLUGGING STICKERS! nifty! As you stick two of them on, it suddenly occurs to you that you’ve got a problem!YOU CAN’T BREATHE!Clutching your throat in panic, it only takes a few seconds for you to use up the last bit of oxygen in your lungs before you collapse like a sack of cinnamon-scented potatoes onto the pavement.DEAD.GAME OVE-“Just breathe through your mouth, you moron.” Grumbles Ly as you snap back to reality! Oh yea, huh! Adjusting your breathing parameters, you take advantage of your new SMELL IMMUNITY just as the two remaining sisters rush you from both sides! Oh cool, you scoff, they’re gonna try kicking you again! Ha!Oh crap, they’re gonna try kicking you again!ROLL 1d100+10 (+5 BUNNY SUIT, +5 DEMON STRENGTH, -0 PERFUME SCENT, BITCH) TO NOT GET KICKED! I’LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!
Rolled 57 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5354794
Rolled 41 + 10 (1d100 + 10)>>5354794
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>5354794Drop low and let them kick into each other! Then pop back up and grab their extended legs!
>>5354797>>5354800>>5354806>HIGHEST ROLL: 67!Yep, that oughta' do the trick!>>5354806Oh hey, someone added in a neat idea here. Good on you, anon--I think I'll use it!Writing!
>>5354832Oh wait, they’re gonna try kicking you again! Standing your ground with a cocky grin on your freckled face, you bait the two remaining sisters into continuing their charge. Just a little closer now…“Choke on dis’, freak!” Roars Lola as she and Gretchen close the gap with two flying spin kicks: one high, one low!Thanks, you’re good! Ducking below the higher kick, you immediately hop over the low one and catch yourself on your extended palm like a breakdancer! Pushing back off as both kicks go wide, you land back on your feet just in time to finish things!If it weren’t for your BONE SPEED it wouldn’t be possible, probably, but you’re STANLEY PARBLE: you make everything possible! Except for flying, of course, but you’re working on it.“STAN!”“CUPCAKE!”Oh right, the fight. As you were narrating, using your handy speed, catching both girl’s legs in mid-kick is pretty easy! So much so that when your hands clasp around their extended ankles, you manage to get a really tight grip! Tight enough, you reason, to do something real mean!By the time the sisters and the audience realize what’s happening, it’s already too late! Raising both arms above your head, you yank both girls downwards with all your might and send them crashing into the ground like a pair of oily-haired whips!“Aw nuts-”A gut-wrenching pair of CRUNCHES reverberate across the arena as your opponents, namely their faces, get intimately acquainted with the arena floor! Leaving them both where they land, you triumphantly remove the stickers from your nostrils and place one on each of the defeated girl’s faces!Wait a sec… Rummaging through your STICKER JAR one more time, you retrieve a pair of ‘YOU GOT BEAT LIKE AN EGG!’ stickers and stick those on as well. Man, they really are all-occasion!When it’s clear you aren’t going to perform any more antics, the crowd erupts once again as you step over your opponents back towards your friends!“BOY, THE MEMORIES KEEP COMING BACK, FOLKS! BACK WHEN I WAS A BOY COMING BACK HOME AND ONLY FINDING THREE KNOCKED-OUT LADIES IN THE PARLOR WAS A GOOD DAY! ANYWAYS, ENOUGH ABOUT ME–LET’S GIVE IT UP FOR STANLEEEEEEYYY!”“Arr, zat be the way we be doin’ things, lass!” Laughs Andre as his fancypants brother begrudgingly forks over what appear to be a few DUBLOONS from his breast pocket!“Pretty good, Stan!” Adds Talbot as Kiki immediately tackles you into a hug, “See I knew you’d beat those chicks, so that’s why I agreed to-”Flicking a ‘I’M STILL PEEVED THAT YOU GOT ME INTO A FIGHT WITH A GAGGLE OF DERANGED GREASER GAL SKELETONS’ sticker at his face, you take a moment to bask in that sweet, sweet, post-battle high! Man, that’s nice!>CONTD.
>>5354867“Not bad at all, kid!” Ly chirps as you watch a bedraggled Claudette slowly pick her sisters off the ground behind you, “Man, some party, huh?”“My favorite part was when they stopped moving!” Adds Nats in a cheerful tone! Yea, well, you sigh as you feel more sober than before, you hope they learned their lesson!“I don’t!”“THAT’S RIGHT, GET THE HELL OUTTA’ THE RING! WE’VE GOT A SCHEDULE TO KEEP HERE, FOLKS, CRIPES…” Adjusting his coat a bit, the announcer clears his throat as the sisters limp off into the crowd with murder in their glowing red eyes! “NEXT UP, FOLKS, WE’VE GO-HOLY CATS, LOOK AT THAT!”Before you can chat up your pals, a whirlwind of fur, claws, and hisses tumbles into the ring! As you struggle to get a better look, the announcer does the job for you!“HOLD THAT NEXT FIGHT, EVERYONE–WE APPEAR TO HAVE ONE GOING ALREADY AND IT IS HOT, HOT, HOT! ON ONE, UH, END WE HAVE… looks like a possum? AND ON THE OTHER WE HAVE… HEY, GET OUT OF THE RING, STANLEY! YOU WON ALRE-oh wait… IT’S A RACCOON, LADIES AND GENTLEBONES! FALSE ALARM!”https://youtu.be/373gDGtK4SINot just any raccoon either–fighting tooth and claw over what appears to be an old slice of PIZZA, LIL’ STANLEY and THE POSSUM fight with all their might to everyone’s enjoyment! Hah, stupid animals!Entranced by the furry fracas, you and your friends watch with childlike glee as you contemplate your next move!>HIT UP ANDRE AND HIS BROTHER! WHERE’S MY PIECE OF THE BET, DICK!?>READ KIKI’S LETTER! WHEN DID SHE WRITE THIS ANYWAYS?>GET YOUR PRIZE FROM TALBOT! HE DID THINK UP A PRIZE, DIDN’T HE? HMMM, MISTER?!>CHEER ON LIL’ STANLEY! GET THE FOOD, GIRL!>YOU WANNA GO ANOTHER ROUND! FIGHT!>HEAD SOMEWHERE ELSE–YOU NEED A CHANGE OF SCENERY!>WRITE-IN!
>>5354868>>READ KIKI’S LETTER! WHEN DID SHE WRITE THIS ANYWAYS?>>GET YOUR PRIZE FROM TALBOT! HE DID THINK UP A PRIZE, DIDN’T HE? HMMM, MISTER?!We can do both of these, right? They're not mutually-exclusive?
>>5354875Sure, why not? We'll see where the votes go, but I can probably swing that shit!
>>5354868>READ KIKI’S LETTER! WHEN DID SHE WRITE THIS ANYWAYS?
>>5354868>READ KIKI’S LETTER! WHEN DID SHE WRITE THIS ANYWAYS?>CHEER FOR LIL STANLEY!
>>5354868>READ KIKI’S LETTER! WHEN DID SHE WRITE THIS ANYWAYS?>GET YOUR PRIZE FROM TALBOT! HE DID THINK UP A PRIZE, DIDN’T HE? HMMM, MISTER?!>CHEER ON LIL’ STANLEY! GET THE FOOD, GIRL!Because I enjoy making Bones write four post updates.
>>5354875>>5354894>>5354917>>5354936THE TALLY:>KIKI'S LETTER: 4!>TALBOT: 2!>CHEER FOR LIL' STANLEY: 2!Looks like Keek Geeks win again!>>5354936Not today, Satan. Seems we'll be spacing things out!Writing!
As the battle for the pizza rages on, it suddenly dawns on you that Kiki handed you something before you cleaned up Talbot’s stupid mess! Returning your JAR OF STICKERS to your spacious coverall pockets, you push past the REPEATER RIFLE, ROCKET LAUNCHER, MERMAID SMUT, REMOTE-CONTROLLED DUUUUCK and a few other volatile odds n’ ends before finding the envelope!Fishing it out and taking a closer look, you find that it’s addressed ‘To Stan’. Hey, that’s you!“Errr, should we be openin’ it here?” Asks Ly as he cranes your neck closer to the letter!“Yea, what if it’s personal? O-or a LOVE LETTER??” Nats adds with growing worry in her voice! Here’s what’s gonna happen, you reply firmly: you’re gonna ask the girl herself and Nats is gonna take a chill pill!“Roger! Chill Pill: Taken!” Chirps your demonic tenant as you gently pat the film student on her shoulder! Hey Keek, you begin as the crowd cheers for the two critters locked in their desperate struggle, it cool if I read this now?Noticing the letter you’re currently waving in her face, Kiki gives you a reassuring nod as a pleasant grin forms on her face! As you open the envelope with your thumb, she sidles up next to you and watches as you unfold a piece of pink stationary covered in disgustingly-cute kittens! D’awww!As the girl punches you in the shoulder, you decide to move on and start reading… or try to, at least. Scanning the curly, handwritten words on the page, you give up on the first word! What the hell is this, anyways? Mexican!?“It’s cursive, Stan.” Groans Ly as Kiki looks at you with concern behind her bangs! “Tell ya what: why don’t I read it an’ you just repeat after me?”Well if he’s offering...After a few false starts and a quick vocal coaching session with some of the bigger words, you clear your throat as Kiki’s worried expression deepens and prepare to READ!“We’d better not hafta’ roll fer’ dis…”Shut up, Ly, why do you think HE’S reading it?>CONTD.
>>5354987“Dear Stan,” you begin, struggling to be heard amidst the violent shrieking in the center of the ring and the even violenter cheers around you, “Traveling with you for the past few days has been an absolute nightmare.” HEY!Stifling a giggle with her hand, the film student motions for you to keep going. “Just kidding!” Oh, you see what she did there… nice! Nodding appreciatively, Kiki lets you continue. “It’s hard to believe that if things had been even a smidge bit different, I would have blown you to ribbons with Ole’ Maru. Maru’s my gun, by the way.”Yea, you nod as Kiki shows off her trusty LIGHT MACHINE GUN to you, they were looting that gas station when you found them!“Close call, huh?” Ly remarks with an almost nostalgic tone in his voice, “Feels like ancient history now.”“But fate conspired to put us all together, and through the bad, the good, and the downright weird, one thing remained constant: your undying courage and willingness to tackle this whole situation head on! Whoops, guess that’s two things, huh?” Yea, you frown, it is! Did she even try to proofread this, o-OW!“Keep readin’.” Growls Ly as the stinging sensation in your skull disappears as quickly as it arrived! “I know I’m not the strongest one on the team. Or the funniest. Or the most outspoken. But I’m also not the most annoying, so there’s that, I guess.” “What?” Asks Talbot as you send a pointed stare in his direction. “WHAT??” Ignoring his questions, you continue down the letter. “Really though, I’ve had a lot of time to think about everything going on in the past few days, and though I still worry about my parents, wherever they are, I can’t deny that despite all of the horrible things I’ve seen, I’ve also forged some unbreakable bonds. Gus, Art, Syb, Mitzi, even Denise… I never would have met these amazing people without your kindness, so thank you, Stan. Thank you for being that person.”Heh, you laugh with redness spreading through your cheeks, you uh… you’re welcome!“WHAAAAT?! ANSWER ME, STAN!”>CONTD.
>>5354988“And that’s what this letter is about, Stan: kindness. They’ll never tell you themselves, but Eddie and Tucker are terrified of what might happen tomorrow. They put on a good show, those two, but I’ve hung out with them long enough to know that they’re a bunch of blowhards. It’s a girl thing.”Closing in on the end of the letter, you take your time reading the last few sentences as Kiki watches with bated breath.“I see it in everyone else on the team, too, but I sense something else as well: courage. Courage to bring this whole thing to a close for better or worse. Courage to follow you to Hell and back. I know it because I feel it too.So thank you for being you, Stan. The film crew’s with you til’ the end and then some. Whatever happens in the coming days, you’ll always have a seat at my family’s restaurant and a free meal to go with it. I think you’ll have earned it once this is all done.Love,KeekP.S: Don’t even think of abusing the free meal thing or I’ll pop you in the mouth.”Reaching the end of the note, you look up from the letter to find its author grinning sheepishly at you. With a nervous ‘ta-da’ gesture, she seems to be waiting for a response of some kind.“ME TOO!” Roars Talbot with growing anger in his voice! “WHY WERE YOU STARING AT ME, HUH!?”How do you respond? (To Kiki, not Talbot.)>HUG IT OUT, BITCH!>ASK WHAT CONSTITUTES A ‘FREE MEAL’! DOES THAT INCLUDE DRINKS AND SOUP?>THANK HER BACK! SHE AND MARU HAVE BEEN PRETTY DARN HANDY!>WRITE-IN!
>>5354989>HUG IT OUT, BITCH!And they’re always welcome to our apartment after this. Including whatever frozen foods or day-old pizza we have hanging around, too.
>>5355000+1 More hugs
>>5355000>>5354989I too agree with the trips
>>5355000>>5355033>>5355038>TRIPS DEMANDS HUGSCan't argue with that! Sorry for the delay, had some important started playing Bug Fables business that made me lose track of time!Writing!
Quickly and quietly folding up the letter and stowing it in your pocket, you hold out the remains of the envelope in Talbot’s direction. Eyeing it suspiciously, he raises an eyebrow your way when his internal analysis comes up blank.“... damn it, just use your damn WORDS already!”A recycling bin, you command in a soft, but firm voice, dispose of it. Glancing between you and the envelope with growing annoyance, the janitor begrudgingly snatches the paper from your hands and storms off angrily muttering to himself. Does he WANT someone else to have to pick it up later!?Raising a finger behind him in a pretty universal gesture, you wave Talbot off and turn your attention back to Kiki. Still standing in front of you expectantly, you defy her expectations with a SURPRISE HUG!“Jeez, Stan,” Ly mutters to himself as Kiki immediately reciprocates, “You’re really inta’ hugging late, ain’tcha?”“I think it’s CUTE!” Nats decrees as you give the film student a few reassuring pats on the back, “Keep hugging, Stan! Hug until your arms get sore!”ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: HUG LYFE!By the way, you add, brushing off Ly’s unwelcome and unneeded criticism, she’s always welcome to hang at your place after this!… and maybe after some light cleaning.… Heavy cleaning.… you might need to clean up your desktop, too.“Mighty generous of ya, cupcake!” Chuckles Ly as Kiki nods excitedly in your arms! “Don’t forget ta’ mention all da’ fine dinin’ she can partake in! Week-Old Pizza! Stale Mac-N-Cheese! Dose’ Mushrooms Ya’ Bought In Bulk Thinkin’ They Were Hallucinogenic!”Hey, you hiss under your breath as you give Kiki’s hair a good tousle for good measure, they go really well with cheese dip and garlic salt, okay? They’re practically ‘halitosis’ with how tasty they are! Money well spent!“An’ who can forget: Infinite Dry Spaghetti Ta’ Crunch On Like Some Kinda’ Livestock!”Yea okay this conversation’s over. Quietly thanking Kiki one more time, it isn’t long before ‘Tall, Dumb and Handso-err, HANDFUL’ comes stomping back red in the face!“Dude, there’s, like, TWO recycling bins in this whole damn party! I had to run halfway across the Drive-In!”My HERO, you reply with a roll of your eyes.“Lemme guess: you’re still pissed, right?”Whatever gave him that idea?“You made me run across the Drive-In to throw away paper, BUTTHEAD!”It was a rattwerkable question, STUPID!>CONTD.
>>5355223After nearly upstaging Lil’ Stanley and her foe with your own minor kicking squabble alongside the ring, you’re ready to ponder your next action once you convince Kiki and Andre to stop pulling you and Talbot apart!What’s next, slick?>ASK KIKI A QUESTION! MAYBE SHE CAN WRITE THE ANSWER DOWN TO SPEED THINGS UP?>HIT UP ANDRE AND HIS DINGUS BROTHER!>PRIZE, TALBOT. WHAT DID YOU WIN, HM?>MAN, THAT LIL’ STANLEY CAN FIGHT! MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHEER HER ON OR SOMETHING?>EH, YOU’RE NEEDED ELSEWHERE! BYE, ALL!>WRITE-IN!
>>5355227>MAN, THAT LIL’ STANLEY CAN FIGHT! MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHEER HER ON OR SOMETHING?Our better half (minus Ly and Nats), deserves some appreciation and encouragement every now and then.
>>5355227>>MAN, THAT LIL’ STANLEY CAN FIGHT! MAYBE YOU SHOULD CHEER HER ON OR SOMETHING?
Alright, you really can’t be distracted from this any longer! Having already recovered from the Warm N’ Fuzzies Kiki’s letter gave you and the minor stinging Talbot’s kicks gave your shins, you turn your attention back to the main event of the night!“I’M AT A LOSS FOR WORDS, HERE, PEOPLE! IT’S LIKE A NASTY, FURRY CAR CRASH: I JUST CAN’T LOOK AWAY!”And neither can you! Through some bizarre miracle the slice of pizza Lil’ Stanley and the possum are fighting over hasn’t been torn to shreds yet–in fact, it’s looking just about as pristine as any other slice would if it fell onto the ground at a Drive-In party!“WE’VE GOT A BUNCH MORE FIGHTS LINED UP TONIGHT, EVERYBODY, BUT I’D HAVE TO BE SOME KIND OF FOOL TO BREAK THINGS UP NOW!Locked in a squealing, growling stalemate, it dawns upon you that this fight… this clash between two trash-scrounging titans… it could go on forever!“Would dat’ truly be a bad thing, though?” Asks Ly as Lil’ Stanley flies into her opponent with a bodyslam!No, you whisper, still spellbound, no it wouldn’t… but that’s the problem right there, you slowly realize: if this fight doesn’t wrap up you’ll be here until morning! You need your beauty sleep, damn it!Clutching your fists in resolve, you glance at Kiki and Talbot and receive a pair of solemn nods in response. One way or another, this has to end… but how?>CHEER FOR YOUR ‘PET’! POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT ALWAYS WORKS IN THE LONG RUN!>CHUCK AN EMPTY CAN OR SOMETHING AT THE POSSUM! PROVIDE SUPPORT!>GRAB THE PIZZA SLICE AND HOLD ONTO IT! THAT OUGHTA’ MAKE THE POSSUM LOSE INTEREST!>SPLIT THE PIZZA IN TWO! ONE FOR EACH FIGHTER!>JUST GET IN THERE AND CHUCK THE DANG POSSUM AWAY!>HAVE SOMEONE ELSE DEAL WITH THE POSSUM! JUST END IT!>YOU WOULDN’T WANT TO DEPRIVE THESE PEOPLE OF A FIGHT LIKE THIS–JUST LET IT CONTINUE AND DO SOMETHING ELSE!>WRITE-IN!
>>5355294>>CHEER FOR YOUR ‘PET’! POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT ALWAYS WORKS IN THE LONG RUN!
Getting a little late on my end, so I'm gonna call it here for tonight--should have more around FRIDAY 10-11AM PST! Thanks for playing and hope to see you then!
>>5355294>>CHEER FOR YOUR ‘PET’! POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT ALWAYS WORKS IN THE LONG RUN!This is lil Stan's fight, to interfere directly would be the height of sacrilege. Let her know we've got a world's best mutant trash panda sticker for her.
>>5355294>CHEER FOR YOUR ‘PET’! POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT ALWAYS WORKS IN THE LONG RUN!
>>5355294>CHEER FOR YOUR ‘PET’! POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT ALWAYS WORKS IN THE LONG RUN!Lil’ Stanley’s got this. I believe in her.
>>5355294>PROVIDE YOUR PET WITH TACTICAL ADVICE!
>>5355308>>5355350>>5355381>>5355409>CHEER HER ON!>>5355617>TACTICAL SUPPORT!Looks like the power of friendship or whatever wins again! ROLL ME 1d100+5 (+5 CINNAMON SCENT) TO SEE HOW EFFECTIVE YOUR SUPPORT IS! I'LL TAKE THE BEST OF 3 ROLLS!If you have any specific POSITIVE RACCOON REINFORCEMENT STRATS or OPOSSUM WEAKNESS DATA to share, WRITE IT IN FOR BONEUSES!
Rolled 14 + 5 (1d100 + 5)>>5355928
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>5355928
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>5355928
>>5355950>>5355966>>5355982>HIGHEST ROLL: 65!Writing!
Lil’ Stanley hasn’t done you wrong yet… not that she’s done a lot of good, either. Still, you reason, it wouldn’t hurt to cheer her on a bit being her supposed ‘master’ and whatnot. Erupting into a torrent of frantic claps and cheers, you attempt to throw in a whistle or two as well, but fail miserably! Still, your spastic and sudden enthusiasm causes both critters to put their scrap on hold, most likely due to them thinking you’re a predator coming to eat them!Thankfully, Lil’ Stanley’s been around you long enough to be semi-used to your antics, so while the opossum/possum/opossoumo freezes in place with visible confusion on its hoary face, your ‘pet’ in name only takes advantage of the situation and tackles her foe to the ground!Shrieks fill the air as the terrible trash panda nips and claws at the opossum with renewed vigor, no doubt rejuvenated by your all but divine intervention! Grabbing her foe by its wormlike tail, Lil’ Stanley begins to swing the poor critter around like a grim hammer throw event!Hissing and clawing at the air, the opossum reaches terminal velocity as the skeletons bay for blood! With one final mischievous grin on her bandit-masked face, Lil’ Stanley has a change of heart and lets her foe go…Into the SKY, that is!Sailing up and over the crowd, the opossum shakes its pink, gnarled fist as it tumbles into low orbit and disappears into the horizon! “WOAH-HO, FOLKS! I HAVEN’T SEEN A POSSUM GET TOSSED LIKE THAT SI-WAIT, NOPE, THAT WAS A WOMAN! GOLLY, POP WAS FULL OF SPIT AN’ GUNPOWDER! ANYWAYS, THAT ABOUT CONCLUDES THE MOST IMPRESSIVE FIGHT OF THE NIGHT–JUST LIKE TO TAKE THE OPPORTUNITY TO REMIND EVERYONE NOT TO FEED THE WILDLIFE! WE’VE ONLY GOT ONE EARTH, PEOPLE–GOTTA TAKE CARE OF HER! ANYWAYS…”As the MC continues to, well, MC, your favorite mutant raccoon picks up her prize triumphantly before skittering over to you!“Welp,” Ly remarks as the critter begins the slow climb up your side, “Dat’s dat’, I guess.”“T’was a rousing battle, t’was!” Andre remarks with an impressed nod!“Don’t be sad that it’s over, Ly–be happy it happened!” Suggests Nats as the furry bowling ball curls up on your shoulder.“Now that’s what I call a food fight! Hah! Get it??” Laughs Talbot as your pet noisily gnaws on its prize right next to your ear! You’re welcome, by the way!>CONTD.
>>5356006As if comprehending your passive-aggressiveness for the first time, the raccoon pauses mid-munch as she warily looks you in the eyes. With a faint, defeated sigh, she holds the piece of dirt and grass-covered pizza out in front of your mouth.“You’re uh… you’re not gonna eat that, right?” Asks Talbot as a worried look forms on Kiki’s face.“Lord help me…” Groans Ly.What… what do you do??>TAKE A BITE! IS THIS FRIENDSHIP?>PUSH IT AWAY–THIS IS LIL’ STANLEY’S VICTORY!>SCARF IT ALL DOWN! FREE ‘ZZA, DUDE!>GIVE IT TO SOMEONE ELSE (KIKI? TALBOT? ANDRE?)>WRITE-IN!
>>5356011>TAKE A BITE! IS THIS FRIENDSHIP?You know Stan has eaten worse.
>>5356011>TAKE A BITE! IS THIS FRIENDSHIP?pizza is pizza
>>5356011>>TAKE A BITE! IS THIS FRIENDSHIP?
>>5356011>TAKE A BITE! IS THIS FRIENDSHIP?I follow the majority.
>>5356012>>5356014>>5356018>>5356025>WHY DID I EXPECT ANYTHING DIFFERENT?Writing!
As you’re well-aware, actions speak louder than words. You’re also aware that you can’t really talk while eating, not without choking if past incidents have taught you anything! So really it’s best for everyone that rather than answer with a snarky comment you answer by taking a big piece of the pizza and really savor it.These morons wouldn’t know ANIMAL FRIENDSHIP if it stuck a piece of FREE PIZZA in their faces! Really getting into the chewing process to prove your point, whatever it is, you ignore the concerned looks on your ‘friend’s’ faces and instead focus on Lil’ Stanley who watches you eat with a mixture of awe and, dare you say it? Friendliness?Having been fed your piece, the greedy gremlin pulls the remaining slice away from you and continues to munch on it from the safety of your shoulder. Hell, she even leans against your neck! That’s trust! Also jeez, she’s like a fuzzy medicine ball! “You’re CRAZY, Stan.” Talbot scoffs as Kiki takes a few steps away to take a breather. “Eating that crap…”Is he seriously suggesting he wouldn’t do the same damn thing, you counter mid-chew!“There was PINEAPPLE on it! Friggin’ GROSS!” He replies, shaking his head in disgust! Yea, well, you shrug, free ‘zza is free ‘zza, bitch! Don’t be jealous!“We interrupting something here?”“Bad time?”Your head swivels on your neck like a gun turret in the direction of the deep, thick as honey pair of voices at your side to find two immaculately-dressed skeletons wearing pitch-black sunglasses and matching suits and ties!“Kid’s havin’ a snack.”“Late dinner, maybe.”Nodding to each other as they practically DRIP with professionalism, both skeletons turn to look at you expectantly.“Name’s Bones.”“Name’s ALSO Bones.”“We’re with the Security Detail.”“Cliff’s Security Detail.”“The Security Detail formed by Cliff.”“And for Cliff.”“And everyone else.”“And their security.”“Right.”“Right.”Tapping their earpieces in unison, the security goons continue in perfect monotone before you can wonder how they get those gizmos to stay on…“The answer is tape.”“Extra-strength.”“Heavy-duty.”“These guys sure seem to have it down!”“Yea,” Ly scoffs in a bemused tone, “real tightwads, alright!”>CONTD.
>>5356049“The boss says he’s ready for ya.”“Boss meaning Cliff.”“That was implied.”“My mistake.”“Apology accepted.”“Thanks.”“Don’t mention it.”“Mention what?”“Exactly.”Wait, you stammer, your brain still huffing trying to catch up, already?“Already.” Nods Bones.“And from now on.” Adds Bones.“No need to rush.”“Haste makes waste.”“Enjoy the party.”“See the sights.”“Try the treats.”“And when you’re ready to talk,”“You know where to walk.”The two glance once again in perfect sync over at the DRIVE-IN MAIN BUILDING off in the distance. Guess that’s where Cliff’s hanging out, huh?“You guess correct.”“A-Plus.”“First Prize.”“Winner, winner, chicken dinner.”“Kid could be a fortune teller.”“I’d pay ta’ see it.”Staring into your soul with their sunglasses-covered eyes, it dawns on you that the two are waiting for a decision to be made. Oh, right.>YOU’LL HEAD OVER NOW, ACTUALLY!>YOU’LL BE THERE SOON–YOU WANTED TO TALK TO SOME ARENA FOLKS FOR A BIT!>YOU’LL GO EVENTUALLY–YOU WERE GONNA CHECK OUT ANOTHER PLACE FIRST!>WAIT A SEC–I WANNA TALK TO YOU GUYS!>WRITE-IN!
>>5356050>YOU’LL HEAD OVER NOW, ACTUALLY!Bones wouldn't timeskip us after we talk to Cliff would he?
>>5356066Nope, you're good! I just figured people might be getting tired of touring the party waiting for Cliff, so I'm giving y'all the option if things are starting to slow down.If you meet up with Cliff you'll have time to do other stuff, don't worry! The big decision is when you wanna actively go to sleep.
>>5356050>YOU’LL HEAD OVER NOW, ACTUALLY!Probably best to have the talk while we’re still sober anyway.
>>5356050>YOU’LL GO EVENTUALLY–YOU WERE GONNA CHECK OUT ANOTHER PLACE FIRST!Let's grab a bite to eat! (HAULIE-PAULIE)
>>5356066>>5356081>GO SEE CLIFF NOW!>>5356101>THE GROSS-ASS PIZZA DIDN'T DO IT FOR ME, SO...Writing!
Still feeling the lingering, albeit weak effects of the last few drinks you’ve had clouding up your consciousness, you decide to take the skeletons up on their offer. Don’t wanna try talking shop with Cliff when you’re struggling to form words, right?“You mean business as usual?”Shut up, Ly. Relaying your choice to the bodyguards, the two suits turn around in, you guessed it, perfect unison and relay a few hushed words into their earpieces before looking your way once more.“We’re cleared.”“Cleared and ready.”“Are you?”Yea, you nod as Lil’ Stanley leaps onto Talbot’s shoulders still munching on her prize, you’re ready! Turning to face Kiki, Talbot, Andre and The Marquis, you inform them that you’ll catch up later–preferably over drinks… and maybe some food...“Give my regards to zee boss!” Andre nods as Kiki gives you a friendly wave.“C’mon, Keek–let’s go shoot some stuff.” Talbot suggests, sending you a quick smirk.Leaving the arena crew in your dust, you’re quickly and efficiently escorted through the throngs of partying skeletons towards the Drive-In you infiltrated a few days ago.This time around, you quickly realize, is much different. As you and your escorts approach the back door, two similarly-dressed skeletons open it for you with almost choreographed timing! Ushered through like the VIP you are, you’re about to be taken upstairs when a familiar skeleton storms down the stairs grumbling angrily to himself!“What a square, groundin’ me like dat’... wet ra-OOF!”Colliding with you at full stair-descending force, abject terror and regret flashes across his bony face as you tumble backwards down the spiral stairway! At least, that’s what would have happened had your two bodyguards not caught you!“Talk about a close call.”“Not close enough.”“Not in the least...”Hoisting you back into a standing position, you cross your arms and wait while Stripes stammers together a sentence!“St-St-St-STAN! Holy cats, didn’t mean ta’ almost ice ya’, sis!”Yea, well, you growl, what’s he doing flying down a dang staircase anyways? And why hasn’t he hugged you yet, huh!?“Wha? Oh, shoot! What the heck am I doin’, huh?”Ignoring your two escorts and the obvious perils of hugging on a staircase, Stripes brings you in close and forces a smile on his face! “The lady of the hour, huh? How’s it feel knowin’ ya’ made dis’ all possible?” A ponderous expression forms on his face. “Well, most of it possible. We did all da’ buildin’.”Cementics!>CONTD.
>>5356308Joining you on the journey up the rest of the stairs, the skelegreaser shoots you an interrogative glance as you stop in front of the office doors.“Word to da’ wise, Stan: go easy on the guy, yea?”You respond with a blink, then a frown. You’re gonna talk to the guy, not play him in CHESS or something!“You know what I mean!” Stripes continues in what seems to be his attempt at an indoor voice, “Cliff’s stressed, Stan–real stressed.”Yea? You ask with renewed interest. How stressed?“Stressed enough ta’ ground my friggin’ helicopter rides for da’ rest of da’ party…” He grumbles with the expression of a fussy kid being told to get ready for bed. “No more helicopterin', Stan! Can you believe it!?”NO, you roar in angry disbelief, you CAN’T! What the hell’s his problem, anyways?!“Who the heck knows?” Groans Stripes as your escorts watch the conversation unfold with interest, “Said it would attract too much attention or somethin’... as if dis’ whole party weren’t attractive enough!”Well don’t worry, you reply in a reassuring voice, you’re gonna get to the bottom of it! No one stops Stanley Parble from riding a helicopter, you shout at the office doors, NO ONE!“Dat’s my girl.” Stripes nods with approval in his voice. “Say, I’m gonna hang with Haulie-Paulie for a while–come catch us downstairs when yer’ done doin’ all that leader crap, dig?”Yea, you nod, you’ll see him there, probably!Parting with a lazy wave behind him, the greaser heads down the stairs at a much more careful pace leaving you with your security detail and the doors leading into the office. Glancing at Bones and Bones for approval, you receive none and ultimately decide to just walk on in!>CONTD.
>>5356312As you push the double doors open like you own the damn place, you’re greeted by much more than a shitty projector room this time around! Having patched up the hole in the wall created during your fight with Nico, Cliff seems to have taken a few creative liberties with the cramped room and turned it into an actual office! “Stanley,” he observes from the comfort of a tall leather office chair behind a fancy wooden desk cluttered with enough papers to make a rainforest, “Been a while, kid.”Squeezing a cigarette burned down to the filter into an already-clogged ashtray balanced precariously on his desk, Cliff wastes no time in retrieving a fresh one from a pack in his jean jacket pocket and lighting it. As he gestures to another leather, but far less impressive chair across from him, a thought crosses his face as he plucks another smoke out of his pocket and offers it to you.D-do you take it?>YEA! YOU COULD USE ONE, PROBABLY!>SURE, BUT HOLD ONTO IT!>NAH, YOU’VE GOT ENOUGH BAD HABITS!>CUT TO THE CHASE: WHAT’S THIS ABOUT GROUNDING THE HELICOPTER?>CUT TO THE CHASE: WHAT’S THE PLAN FOR TOMORROW?>WHY’S HE ACTING LIKE A STRANGER? COME GET A HUG, DICK!>WRITE-IN!
>>5356314>>CUT TO THE CHASE: WHAT’S THE PLAN FOR TOMORROW?>>WHY’S HE ACTING LIKE A STRANGER? COME GET A HUG, DICK!
>>5356314>NAH, YOU’VE GOT ENOUGH BAD HABITS!>WHY’S HE ACTING LIKE A STRANGER? COME GET A HUG, DICK!Sorry, fellas. Been busy.
>>5356424>>5356526You know what? Let's just do all of 'em! Writing!
Rather than give your old pal a yes or a no, you instead cross your arms and look at him with growing impatience. Sensing something amiss, the weary-eyed skeleton sticks the cigarette back in the pack with a drawn-out sigh.“What’s the matter, Stan?”The matter, you growl as you stalk towards the desk like a mountain lion about to pounce, is that you haven’t seen his sorry denim-wearing ass for, like…It’s gotta be three or four threads now!“Waaaay more then dat’, cupcake.”Who CARES, Ly? The point is, why the hell is he not LEAPING from his seat to get in on this hug action, hmm?!Staring at you silently for a few moments, a faint smile slowly etches across Cliff’s face as he rises from his seat with the grace of an old man!“Alright, alright… I see you’re still the one in charge…”Damn right you are, you fire back with a few rapid snaps of your finger! Now get over here pronto!Navigating the maze of reports and ledges he’s built up since you last ran into him, Cliff removes the lit cigarette from his mouth before opening his arms wide for a long-overdue hug! Practically tackling the greaser to the ground, your nostrils are filled with the acrid scent of tobacco, but you don’t really mind!“Sorry, kid,” he apologizes as he pulls you into a tender embrace, “feels like this is the first time I’ve sat down in… a while[.”Yea, you reply with a mischievous giggle, he looks like shit!“Still better than you, freak.” He retorts, releasing you with a twinkle in his eye. “Cripes, Stan, did you get taller?”Yep, you nod enthusiastically, and thinner! and CUTER, not that you had much room for improvement there! Placating you with a hollow chuckle, Cliff slumps back into his chair and motions to the one next to you. You take it, naturally.“So…” he mutters like an estranged relative searching for a conversation topic, “I’m guessin’ you’ve been having fun tonight?”Sure, you shrug, but you wanna talk about tomorrow.“Yep,” groans Cliff as he leans back in his seat, “You an’ everybody else…”>CONTD.
>>5356646Before you do, you interject, is he… is he cool? The greaser shoots you a sideways glance.“C’mon, Stan, you know the answer to that.”Ha-ha, smartass, you mean is he okay? He looks like you after a full shift!“It’s uh…” he groans, rubbing the bone under his eye sockets, “It’s tough, Stan… keepin’ these nutjobs together, y’know?” Sending you an apologetic glance, the skeleton ruefully shakes his head. “If I’d known I was gonna be endin’ up babysittin’ this many boneheads, well…” he pauses to take a long, pensive drag from his smoke before blowing it towards the ceiling and away from you. “I’ve been managin’, kid, but… well, you remember what I told ya’ about leadership.”Yea, you nod, you think you know a thing or two about that by now.“Tomorrow’s a big day.” He explains as he glances upwards as if searching for an answer written on the office ceiling. “For a lotta’ reasons… and I ain’t gonna lie to myself and say everyone’s gonna make it.”Then try, you bark as you slam your hand onto his desk! How’s he gonna lead if he’s focused on all the what-ifs, huh!?“It’s not that simple, kid.” Cliff frowns, taking another drag from the cigarette. “We had radio silence from YOU-KNOW-WHO for days, then suddenly he wanted to rally the troops.” Anxiously drumming his fingers on his desk, the greaser looks to you with fear in his hollow eyes. “Something’s up. I can smell it.”Yea, you nod as you glance around the office with him, you suspected something like that too… is that what all the extra security’s about?“Figured it was high-time to invest in it, yea…” Cliff shrugs as he puffs some more smoke, “Just… don’t worry about me, Stan. One way or another, it ends tomorrow.”Yea, you nod, one way or another…>CONTD.
>>5356647Speaking of, you begin, what’s the plan tomorrow anyways? You heard some tidbits, but-“Sounds about right…” Growls Cliff as he peers out the window with a disapproving frown. “Gossiping like a coop of friggin’ hens, those guys…” Reaching into his desk, the skeleton’s hand returns clutching a small, unmarked envelope. Pushing it across the table to you, the greaser motions for you to open it. “Plans are in there. Take a look.”Taking the letter off the desk, you shoot Cliff a sideways glance. Seriously?“Yep. Humor me, will ya?”Okay, you shrug, a priest, a rabbi, and a member of congress walk into a ba-“I mean trust me, smartass. Go on, it won’t bite ya’.”“I wouldn’t mind listening to it later, sis!”Putting the joke on hold for now, you oblige your old pal and free the letter from the envelope’s wicked clutches! Adjusting your sunglasses, you’re about to read it out loud when Cliff stops you.“Read it to yourself, kid–too many eyes an’ ears around here.”Heeding his advice, you take a look at what you’ve got…‘Stan: didn’t trust myself or any of the other guys writing this, so I got a human agent to do it for me. Fed him info through ciphers and puzzles, so it should be clean. Don’t do what I TELL you to do–follow THIS NOTE ONLY! I can’t protect you anymore!’“If you and your pals leave a few hours before sunup, you should be able to creep into that building–you’ll find a way into CITY HALL through there.”Glancing up from the letter, you respond with a quick ‘mhm’ as you continue to read.“I mean it, Stan–you guys have to LEAVE before sunup.”‘Stay in camp tonight–don’t leave no matter what. Someone will come to get you in the morning and we’ll smuggle you and your pals into the portal leading to the FORTRESS. Don’t talk to ANYONE about this plan. My agent will work the word ‘bowling ball’ and ‘mountain’ if you run into them tonight–you can trust them.’All you can do is utter a confused ‘what’ under your shaky breath.“That building on that note will take you right under their nose, Stan.” Cliff nods. “As long as you follow that note then it should work out.”‘Time’s running out, Stan. I can’t guarantee anything anymore. If we don’t make it out of this, stay strong and don’t ever lose that kindness that you’ve got inside ya’. I can speak for Stripes, Wyatt, and the rest when I say you’re like the kid sister we never had. Thanks for not killing us in that parking lot, kid–you made our unlives sweeter than our old ones.Keep those fists up,Cliff, A.K.A ‘Gene’.’>CONTD.
>>5356648“So,” Cliff says as he clears his throat, “That’s uh… that’s the best I can do, kid.” He adds in a quiet, almost defeated tone. “You got all that? I gotta another meeting in a bit, so…” The greaser stares at you like it’s the last chance he’ll ever get.“I’ll… I’ll catch ya’ later, Stan. I’m sorry…”How do you respond before you’re escorted out? CHOOSE ONE.>THANK HIM. FOR EVERYTHING.>ONE MORE HUG.>HOLD ON, YOU STILL HAVE STUFF TO SAY!>TELL HIM EVERYTHING’S GONNA WORK OUT.>JUST GIVE HIM ONE MORE SMILE.>WRITE-IN!
>>5356650And on that cheerful note I'm going to call it for tonight. Got some errands to run in the morning, so updates will be sporadic tomorrow--probably around the afternoon and evening. Thanks as always, folks.
>>5356650>THANK HIM. FOR EVERYTHING.>ONE MORE HUG.Ooph. Figured something like this would go down. Gonna have to work fast tomorrow, hit the lich hard and fast.
>>5356650>THANK HIM. FOR EVERYTHING.>ONE MORE HUG.Dammit. This is the part where our face sweats, isn't it?
>>5356650>THANK HIM. FOR EVERYTHING.>ONE MORE HUG.
>>5356650>THANK HIM. FOR EVERYTHING.>ONE MORE HUG.Knowledge is power. Guard it well.
>>5356667>>5356683>>5356692>>5356702>>5356732>>5356788>THANK HIM FOR EVERYTHING>ONE MORE HUGWriting! Again, today's updates will be a little sporadic so bear with me, please!
You feel your eyes start to itch as Cliff gives you a forced, almost painful smile, so you run with the only strategy you can think of: rushing at him with arms outstretched, you leap over the greaser’s desk and tackle him out of his chair and onto the ground!“ACK! Cripes, Stan, you-”As your HAY FEVER starts to act up again, you bury your face into the skeleton’s denim-clad shoulder and hold it there even after he reluctantly holds you close.“It’s okay, kid…” he murmurs as you struggle to get your damn allergies under control, “Everything’s… everything’s gonna be fine, dig?”Shaking your head, you muster the strength to unbury yourself and lean in close to where his ear would have been when he was still alive.Thank you, Cliff, you whisper in a shaky, hushed tone, for everything...“Remember what I said about bein’ a leader, yea?” He asks as you stuff your face back into the damp, snotty corner of his jacket. “No matter what happens… or who you lose along the way… stay strong. If not for you, well…” The greaser’s soft voice trails off as both you and him crane your necks to look out the window at the festivities and revelers below.“... then for the ones who are rootin’ for ya… dig?”Y-yea, you stammer as the two of you slowly pick yourselves up from the floor now littered with papers, you…You dig.Brushing your shoulders clean of dust, Cliff holds them both for a second and gives you a long, hard stare before giving you another smile–this time a real one.“Alright, one more look…”As he leads you over to the window, your eyes are met with a scene you never thought you’d ever see, much less in CLEARWATER: a fairground stuffed to the brim with laughing, dancing, frolicking skeletons like the happiest anchovies you’ve ever seen! Some wear their army uniforms from countless time periods, some strut around in rancher and cowboy garb, many sport outrageous hairdos and tough-guy leather jackets, and some don’t seem to fit into any category at all. One thing unites them, though, and you can see it on all of them even without skin, muscles, or faces to show it:“They’re havin’ the time of their lives, huh?” Cliff remarks with pride as he gives your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “They could all be gone tomorrow an’ they wouldn’t give a damn.”But, you sniff, still dealing with your sudden allergic attack, but what about after tha-“Life, Stanley, is meant ta’ be lived.” Cliff declares with absolute certainty in his voice. “You could live for a hundred years or maybe even a day, but even getting a small drop of that sweet, sweet freedom?”The skeleton pauses to take a whiff of it.“There ain’t no better gift this world can give us.”You… you don’t… you don’t really get it…“You will, kiddo.” Cliff sighs as you both continue watching. “Some day.”>CONTD.
>>5357204After what feels like a lifetime of watching the fun down below, the doors leading into the office swing open in unison revealing the two bodyguards who escorted you earlier.… or are they just similarly-dressed?“Sorry to interrupt.” Apologizes Bones in an all-business tone.“Forgive the intrusion.” Adds Bones in an equally-businesslike manner.“It’s time.”“Time to go.”“Gimme a sec, boys.” Cliff sighs, raising his hand at them before taking another drag from his miraculously still-lit cigarette, “An’ you too, Stan.”Before you can ask, the greaser rummages around in his jacket pocket before finding something. Thanks, you mutter, but you really don’t wanna get addicted to smoking too-Ignoring you, Cliff’s bony hand emerges from his jacket pocket with a familiar set of WOODEN DICE– their surfaces grubby from ages of being tossed on the pavement. Gently tossing them in his bony hand, your first skeleton pal deposits them into your mitts as if they belonged to you!“Those got me through some hard times, even when I was still alive.” Muses Cliff as nostalgia slowly dips into his face. “Rocky gave me ‘em, ya’ know that? Goof whipped ‘em up in shop class for my eighteenth birthday.”Closing your hand around the set of dice with his own hand, Cliff gives you one more reassuring pat on the back as he looks at you with pride in his eyes. “Take care of ‘em for me an’ the guys, will ya? Win yourself some pocket change.”Thanks, Cliff, you repeat as the security goons usher you towards the door, you’re the best…“I know, baby.” He replies in a soft, but joking voice as he turns to look out the window again. “I know.”Closing the doors in perfect sync behind them, your escorts wordlessly take you back down the stairs and out the back door. “Thank you for your cooperation.”“Enjoy the party.”Shutting the door on your face, you linger in the alley behind the DRIVE-IN BUILDING for a while with the dice still in your hand.“You uh…” Ly begins in a cautious voice, “You okay, kiddo?”You respond with a halfhearted shrug as you stick the dice into your pockets. You… you just need a change of scenery, is all.“Yea…” Mutters Nats in a quiet, sympathetic tone, “Let’s get a little air, sis…”Having met with Cliff, the party still rages around you as you choose another place to drift off to:>THE CONCESSION STAND! YOU NEED A DRINK! (STRIPES, HAULIE-PAULIE)>THE GARAGE! WHAT’S HAPPENING OVER THERE? (WYATT T, GUS, RODHI, TEEVOR)>LET’S SECURE A TRAILER FOR TONIGHT!>THE ARENA! YOU’VE ALREADY BEEN THERE, BUT…>SHOOTING RANGE! AGAIN, BEEN THERE, BUT…>DANCE FLOOR! SEE ABOVE. ALREADY BEEN. YOU GET IT.>JUST FIND A QUIET HILL FOR A LITTLE BIT–YOU NEED TO AIR OUT YOUR HEAD A LITTLE.>WRITE-IN!
>>5357207>THE CONCESSION STAND! YOU NEED A DRINK! (STRIPES, HAULIE-PAULIE)Being sober is for the birds. And the fish.
>>5357207>THE CONCESSION STAND! YOU NEED A DRINK! (STRIPES, HAULIE-PAULIE)All in favor of getting so wasted we literally wake up in the liches fortress without knowing how we got there?
Hey all, probably won't get around to updating tonight--plans are taking a lot longer than I anticipated. I also got a vote via Twitter voting for>CLAIM BUNK FOR TONIGHTSo when I check in SUNDAY AROUND 3-4PM PST I'll be taking that vote under consideration too. Sorry for the few updates today, tomorrow might be a bit funky too, but it'll happen!
>>5357207>Burn the letter with your laser eye somewhere private>THE CONCESSION STAND! YOU NEED A DRINK! (STRIPES, HAULIE-PAULIE)
>>5357707This is using the noggin. Add on that first part to >>5357319>>5357602I couldn't find that vote going on. Did you put it up yet, or did I miss it?
>>5357847Meant to say that someone voted on the current decision via Twitter--don't worry, no secret Twitter-Only prompts here! Got stuff going on this morning so I probably won't be able to write until 2-3ish PST, but I might fit in a small update in an hour or so. Watch the space!
>>5357319>>5357582>>5357707>>5357847>TO THE CONCESSION STAND!>BUT ALSO BURN THE NOTE!Writing! This'll probably the only update for a while--might do more later in the day!
“... Stan?” Asks Ly as you silently linger in the back alley, “We uh… what are we doin’, kid?”Just gimme a sec, you mutter as you retrieve CLIFF’S NOTE from your pocket. Giving the tobacco-scented paper one last stare, you wordlessly toss it into the air and vaporize it with a blast from your LASER EYE!“We uh… we probably coulda’ eaten it or somethin’.” Observes your skeleton’s disembodied voice in a cautious tone. Yea, you shrug, watching the paper’s few remaining ashes scatter in the cold evening breeze. Your business complete, you find yourself moving on autopilot around the building towards the crowded shitshow that is the CONCESSION STAND. What was once a small counter inside the main building has now been extended outside and around like one of those poolside bars you see in all the vacation commercials.Everything… everything’s gonna be fine tomorrow, right Ly?“Well uh,” he stammers, taken off-guard by the sudden question, “I’m no fortune teller, kid, but…” He goes silent for a moment as you quietly await an answer. “... we’ve done okay so far, yea? Just gotta’ keep doin’ what we’re doin’.”“Yea!” Adds Nats in a supportive tone, “Just need to stay the course!”Right, you nod in an almost automatic voice, they’re right…Pushing past line after line of thirsty skeletons, you overhear a familiar voice amidst the chaos around you:“-ver HERE!”Turning in the voice’s vague direction, you spot a familiar striped shirt and a smiling greaser attached to it waving you over to an empty seat next to him at the bar! “You lost or somethin’, kid?” He laughs as you take a seat next to Stripes. “Don’t tell me yer’ sloshed already!”No, you mutter, still collecting yourself as you scan the countless bottles behind the makeshift counter, you’re uh… you’re good.“Atta’ girl!” Laughs the skeleton as he waves his hand in the air for service! “I tell ya, nowadays I need a stiff drink too after talkin’ to Cliff… management, sis–that stuff’ll kill ya.”You respond with a noncommittal ‘mhm’. Seems like it…>CONTD.
>>5358045As a bartender skeleton makes her way over, she’s intercepted by a pompadour’d blur–one that practically leaps over to you with a boisterous laugh you’d recognize anywhere!“About damn time ya’ showed up, sis!” Announces Haulie-Paulie as he cleans a glass with a dishrag. “I kept tellin’ these freeloaders: how the hell is Stan gonna party without one of my PREMIUM DRINKS, huh?”“You still cleanin’ that thing, Paul?” Stripes asks as Haulie-Paulie gives your shoulder a good-natured slap!“Ha! Ain’t it great?” Laughs the bartender as he shows off the glass to both of you. “I feel like da’ real McCoy doin’ this! That Mayor from JOPLIN showed me how ta’ really sell it!”As if on cue, another skeleton-shaped blur emerges from beneath the bar–one with an impeccably-polished stache’ and an old-timey bartender’s apron!“Taught him everything I know… and it ain’t much!”As Paulie and Mayor Ike break into laughter simultaneously, you turn to find Stripes giving you an apologetic glance.“Yep, two peas in a damn pod, those two.”No kidding.“I’m tellin’ ya, guys, this shindig? It’s a hit!” Paulie croons as he watches the Mayor polish his glass out of the corner of his eye. “An’ it wouldn’t have been possible without this lil’ busybody right here!” He adds as he shoots you an appreciative wink!“I’ll drink to that… or I would if I wasn’t on the clock!” Jokes Ike as he nudges Stripes in the ribs! “Oh wait! I’m tendin' bar!” Grabbing one of the bottles off the shelf behind him, the skeleton promptly lines up four shot glasses on the counter in front of you and fills them all with the amber-colored drink!“Pour one for me, wouldja’, Ike?”Turning towards the voice, you find yourself staring at an old man with a grey beard and a green hat slowly making his way through the crowd! Seeing him approach, the skeleton next to you politely relinquishes his seat and takes his drink with him back into the party!“Cripes, Pete, I almost don’t want to!” The Mayor counters as the old man gives you a friendly smile. “You must have the bladder of a squirrel with how much you’ve been runnin’ off!”“Just makin’ the rounds.” Pete shrugs as Paulie takes the bottle and pours him a shot too. “Helped one of Cliff’s boys set up a new keg–I swear it was like carryin’ a bag of bowling balls up a mountain!”“Well, well…” Remarks Nats. Yep, you heard it too…>CONTD.
>>5358048“The hell are they thinkin’, having you lift stuff like dat’?” Stripes asks with a frown. “You point ‘em out to me an’ I’ll straighten ‘em out, Gramps.”“I’ll be fine–I ain’t that old.” Laughs Pete as you all raise your shots in the air. “What are we drinkin’ to?”“Who the hell cares?” Shrugs Paulie, prompting Ike to burst into his usual bellowing laughter. “Here’s to bein’ able ta drink! Happy?”Works for you! Clinking your glass on the others, you empty its contents down your throat and let the burning liquid shake you back into reality.GOD, you needed that…“Uh oh, I think she liked dat’ one!” Paulie chuckles as he smiles at Ike.“One of our in-house concoctions!” The mayortender explains, thumbing his suspenders with pride! “Joplin’s own whiskey–nearly did a jig when I found we still had some lyin’ around!”“Thank god for that, huh?” Remarks Pete as he places the glass back on the counter and shakes his head around. “Got a kick to it…”“You’re tellin’ me!” Stripes nods as he turns to look at you. “So Stan–you get Cliff to unground me back there?”No, you reply with a defeated shake of your head, you uh… didn’t have much time to talk, really.“Well shoot… at least you tried.” The skeleton sighs before turning his attention back to Ike and Paulie. “Jeez, guys, we’ve got two bartenders standin’ here an’ neither of ‘em has offered us a drink yet! Some service, huh?”“Aahhhh cool yer’ jets, Marion. We was just about to.” Paulie snickers, prompting Stripes’ eyes to light up in anger!“Then hurry up, damn it, or I’ll fix me up a drink in your hollowed-out skull!”“Yea, sure, tough guy.” Paulie counters before turning your way. “But in case ya’ didn’t notice, we’ve got a VIP here in da’ establishment… an a lady ta’ boot, so she gets ta’ order first!”Hey, yea, you mutter, warming up a bit at the mention of ‘VIP, you ARE! Fix me a drink, barkeep!“Not so fast, hotshot:” Replies Paulie as he and Ike share a knowing glance, “I wanna try somethin’ first… been practicin’ slingin’ drinks, y’know.”“Then practice more!” Stripes groans, “We’re dyin’ over here!”“Smartass… look, Stan, just uh… just tell me what kinda’ drink you wanna try an’ I’ll surprise ya! Y’know, like somethin’ bitter, sweet, whatever!”Well if he’s offering, gimme something…DRINK STATUS: BASICALLY SOBER AGAIN :C>BITTER!>SWEET!>SUNNY!>SCARY!>SAD!>COOL!>HARD!>DARK!>JUST GIVE ME A (BEER? COCKTAIL? SOMETHING ELSE?)>WRITE-IN!ALSO, WHO DO YOU CHAT UP WHILE YOU’RE WAITING?>STRIPES!>HAULIE-PAULIE!>MAYOR IKE!>PETE!>LY AND/OR NATS!>NO ONE!>WRITE-IN!
>>5358049>SCARY!>AND MAKE IT A DOUBLE!>PETE!
>>5358053I'm down with this.What has this Quest done to me? I nearly hit a raccoon on my way home from work and it's the first thing I think of.
Sorry for the crazy delay, all--plans went a bit longer than I expected! Should have more for you MONDAY AROUND 10-11AM PST! Thanks for waiting and see you then, hopefully!>>5358879You'd better hope that wasn't Lil' Stanley--she'll find you, anon.
>>5358053>>5358516>>5358879>SCARY! DOUBLE!>TALK TO PETE!>>5358956>SWEET!>BUT ALSO TALK TO PETE!>TWITTER VOTE (DUE TO NET ISSUES:)>HARD!>STRIPES & HAULIE-PAULIE!Looks like Pete and DOUBLE SCARY wins it! Writing!
A surprise, ey? Still recovering from the shot, you drum your fingers on the counter as you consider what to throw at budding bartender Haulie-Paulie.“C’mon…” He adds pleadingly, “Gimme a tough one!”In that case, you reply with a daring grin forming on your face, you want something… SCARY! And make it a DOUBLE!“Da’ hell does that even mean?” Stripes remarks with visible confusion on his face. “Who cares?! I wanna try!” Adds Nats as you feel her presence shift around excitedly inside you!“That, my boy, is for the bartender to decide!” Laughs Ike as he gives his ward a pat on the back! “Now remember, son, what do we say to an order like that, hm?”“Errr, comin’ right up, doll!” Paulie exclaims with a cocky wink! “Atta’ boy. Now use that head of yers.” Continues the mayor as Haulie-Paulie gets to work. While he slings bottles around, you take the opportunity to greet the only other human at the counter. Pete, you begin, the hell are you doing here?“Ahhh, nothing too devious!” The old man replies with a light chuckle. “After the CLAYTON BLACK fiasco I thought I could use a change of scenery, so me n’ Ike here made the trip up to this here DRIVE-IN!”“You shoulda’ heard him!” Guffaws Ike as he watches Haulie out of the corner of his eye, “He was moanin’ like a polecat with a burr in its paw the whole dern way–lamentin’ how much the old place had changed, an-”“Enough about that!” Growls Pete as a flustered look suddenly pops onto his face! “Anywho, met the ringleader and a few other folks almost immediately and we got on like a house on fire!”“Pete’s been helping out around the camp ever since!” Stripes explains as Paulie pours whatever ingredients he used into a tumbler and gets to mixin’. “Not dat’ we need it, of course, but-”“But nothin’. You boneheads keep forgettin’ I’m about as old as you’d be if you were still kickin’.” Pete scoffs as Paulie places your beverage in front of you with a triumphant ‘clink’!“And there you have it, kid!” Paulie declares as you watch the pale drink in front of you expel an eerie, faint fog into the air about it! “I call dis’ one DA’ FUNKY PHANTOM! Give it a try!”The meeting with Cliff still fresh in your head, you’ll take any opportunity to unwind a bit! Taking the chilly glass in your hand, you give your server a thankful nod before taking a healthy sip!OH.As the drink trickles down your parched throat, you’re jolted back to reality by a series of icy fingers running down your spine! Despite going down smooth like butter, the mysterious drink’s lingering aftertaste has you alert and upright! Wow, you remark as you cautiously glance around you, what… what was that?“Sorry, kiddo, trade secret!” Paulie laughs as he and Ike share a conspiratorial wink! >CONTD.
>>5359338A satisfied smile forms on your face as you bask in the giddy feeling the drink instills in you! It’s almost like being on a roller coaster!“Yea, well, try to ta’ puke, yea?” Begs Ly as you notice Pete checking his pockets next to you with growing worry on his face! “Ah hell,” the old man groans as he rises from his seat, “Lost my dern PILLS again–these large pockets, I swear…”“That does it, ya’ old fart,” Stripes groans as Pete shoots you a sideways glance, “I’m duct-tapin’ ‘em to ya’. How many times are ya’ gonna lose those things?”“Pretty sure I’ve got a few meds in back if ya’ need ‘em, pops!” Paulie adds helpfully!“Not these ones–they’re nitroglycerin. Fer’ the ticker.” Pete chuckles as he gives his chest a gentle pat. “Stan, sweetheart, ya mind helpin’ an old man out with those young eyes of yers?”Sure, you nod, you’ll give it a shot.“Don’t worry, sis, I’ll hold yer’ seat for ya.” Stripes declares as you and Pete both rise from your stools. “Can’t promise the same for the old man, but-”“Yea, yea, keep ‘em comin’...” Pete grumbles, waving Stripes’ joke off with his hand. As the two of you duck around the corner of the building (with your new drink in tow, of course), the old shuttle driver takes you to a secluded spot near a pile of old pallets.“So,” he begins after giving the area a quick scan, “I’m guessin’ you met with Cliff?”Yea, you nod, taking another sip to stave off the memory of his tormented face, you did.“Can’t imagine how much all this is eatin’ away at him…” sighs the old man as he lowers himself onto a nearby pallet, “though honestly I can’t quite tell if the others are ignorant or just trying not to think about the whole thing.”You shrug. How the heck are you supposed to deal with being raised and controlled by some crazy wizard anyways?“Well Cliff’s got the right idea, I think…” Says Pete as he gives you a solemn look. “Truth is, he’s been giving me tasks since I met him–started off when I found a half-finished crossword puzzle on the ground after bein’ introduced for the first time… that’s when I knew he had me clocked.”Raising an eyebrow his way, your curiosity is sated when Pete retrieves a weathered old book of puzzles from his back pocket. “Never had much work pilin’ up in JOPLIN,” he explains with a grin, “So I spent a lot of time puzzlin’. Didn’t think it’d get me into spycraft or whatever, but here we are!”Yea, you respond with a growing smile on your face, Cliff picks up on that kind of stuff…“He’s a good judge of character, I’ll give him that.” Nods Pete as he stares at you with pride. “But you already knew that, didn’t ya?”“Well…”Quiet, Ly!>CONTD.
>>5359339“Anywho,” The old man continues, “I’m gonna assume you already got the instructions fer’ tomorrow.”You nod as you give your forehead a few taps! All up in here!“Great. Don’t worry about yer’ pals none–I’ve already found a couple an’ relayed the info.” Explains Pete in a placating tone. “I’ll get to the others before the night is over, so you just relax, y’hear?”Way ahead of ya, you reply, taking another swig from your glass. MmM!“One more thing:” Pete continues in a hushed voice as he motions you closer, “I stowed that HELICOPTER for ya.”Wait a sec, you blink, that was him?“Yep–had a pal who used to run a flight school out in the desert way back when.” Nods the old man with a mischievous glimmer in his eye! “Won’t be doin’ any air shows, but I know my way around a rotor or two!”Cool, you sigh, but what’s that got to do with the plan tomorrow?“It doesn’t.” Pete replies, “But from what I gathered from Cliff’s clues, he was adamant that you an’ yer’ pals have a backup plan in case, well, things go South tomorrow.”Right, you nod, whatever that means.“In any case, no one else can find it–made darn sure of that.” He continues with a hint of pride in his scratchy voice. “If ya’ head North of here there’s a patch of forest–plants get water from an old storm drainage ditch that runs through ‘er.”“Drainage ditch…” Nats intones as if inscribing into a notebook, “Gotcha!”“Follow it downhill and you’ll reach a derelict SERVICE SUBSTATION– probably used ta’ monitor water flow or somethin’ once upon a time, who knows.” Pete shrugs. “Anyways, there’s an old parking lot behind the building–a bit overgrown, but I put ‘er down there. Covered her with a tarp, too–can’t miss it.”Cool, you nod appreciatively, but isn’t that, like, a little far?“Had ta’ be.” The old man retorts in a matter-of-fact tone. “Birds like that are pretty loud, not to mention there are patrols all along the outside walls.” Fanning himself with his hat, Pete looks at you with a weary smile. “Took the wind outta’ me, but it oughta’ be