"W-W-Welcome back, Manager."In a remote facility located in the labyrinthine depths of Suburbia, the Manager-Dandy ACE SMITH makes his stunning comeback to an adoring public! Fill the quotas! Complete the paperwork! Kiss ALL the bugs! (Featuring [SIGNAL LOST] from the Project Moon series!)(Salt dries in the back of your throat. A dream vanishes like a tide returning to sea. Alas, you're becoming habituated to this shabby job.)NØW HIRING- P Company recruitment poster (Current Business Cycle)"Employment rates have been increasing at an alarming rate due to the embedded visual [REDACTED], sir. The analysts are pointing towards an almost exponential increase in job applications.So what's the problem?At this rate there will be more applications than there are people currently living within the City, sir.So what's the problem? Look, tell HR to write up the approval letters A-S-A-P! This is going to be our biggest upturn yet!- Intercepted Upper Management communications from District 16.ARCHIVE: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Lobotomy%20CorporationTHREAD THEME: https://youtu.be/Ae2N5310MXE (Space Station 13 Music - Endless Space)"As seen on TV! Flash freeze jet of -459.67 °F cold air kills pests in an instant!"
[earlier...]>"Ace." ("My parents knew well to pick a fitting name.")You flash a wide smile at employee BB, but don't offer a handshake. Look, don't touch, as they say.Ace! Now that's a name you hang over the fireplace, a real bread and bacon winning name. It fits you perfectly, you muse, like a fine leather glove. (Not like that cheap suspect leather, which is much too thin to be worked into proper clothes or other items. Real leather, presumably from some far-off exotic animal like a horse in some faraway country like France or Texas. The mystique...)Alas. Alack. To think someone of your caliber is just another Smith among the millions out there..."So this Manager is really absorbed into his own worldview, huh?" BB mutters something with a concerned look."Hmm~?" You smirk. It's time for a strong first impression. You stand up dramatically and prepare to style on Miss Intruder here - a little scare will do for this performance...[and now...]>Peacock Coat>Evening strollYou may not know what a peacock is, but you do know that you and this coat go way back. Your dress coat is much like the ones used in evening full dress, but in a striking white color instead of the customary black. Diamond-shaped red glares decorate your back and strings of the eyes act as the tails to your tailcoat, as if reflecting back the red gaze of the adoring public. In the words of S Company, "clothes make the man." This coat has been been truly loyal throughout the years - an integral part of your image. In the face of such a timeless image, this flight-of-fancy pinstripe phase was getting old anyway."Please look away, my dearest Franklin," you address your very tall secretary in the corner and start stripping. "I'll just be a moment~""Sir." Frank's voice takes on a frighteningly stern tone. "Please put your pants back on. Th-This is completely unprofessional." "Well..." Now you've done it. "You don't need to look if you're so bothered, Frank. I'll just get changed behind those papers over there instead. Cool?"Frank lets out an really deep sigh halfway out of simultaneous worry and disappointment. "M-Manager, you can't carry on so boldly... What will the others think?" It strikes true... but she nods and you disappear behind the stacks."How wonderful I am!" You reappear preening, the shame disappearing, wearing just the tailcoat and a pair of white slacks, your chest bare to the world. "Just look at that and look at this."Frank flashes a polite thumbs up. You beam."Frank, I am in a most excellent mood. I will be leaving for a little break to celebrate," you announce. Before Frank can make any objection, you're already striding out past her with the fullest confidence in your destination. "Please continue whatever it was that you were doing!""Manager, wa-" You exit the musty air of the Control Room, turn the corner, and make a hasty descent on the spiral stairs to the very top of the facility.
The first thing that comes to mind is the deep regret of not taking a proper coat with you. It's damnably cold out by the ocean. It is very dark here. The lights of the labs do not reach far at sea. You hear the crashing of waves somewhere far below the cliff and the rotting, briny stench of the surf fills your nostrils. Were it not for the ground under your feet, you would be lost to that infinite darkness spread before you. Endlessly tall, fathomless deep. An endless empty. And still beyond the sea, its ebbing and flowing tides, with its changes of winds, and even its storms, lays the center of the world as you know it. The lights of the City herself, far beyond the stars, nearer beyond the moon, under the steel sky. A City of lights, a City in splendor.And yet...The experience stops at your eyes. You feel nothing. Something went wrong. There's a phrase popular among the fashion circles you've drifted away from and you are compelled to say it aloud:"Nature is boring."...It's not you, is it? Ah, what a terrible thing to say aloud. But it's already in the air - you can't take the accusation back. It's nature's fault. Life moves too quickly for it to be so terribly relevant to your life. You lost the ability to feel it, tune into it, care about it. So?(You've become as a dead man.)You'll have to speak to someone later about this. On a soft couch, with light music, and a well-lit room. Maybe there will be a nice young pretty thing who'll put your mind at ease, petting your head softly. Maybe there will be a camera somewhere behind the mirror recording it all. And very quietly, very slowly, you'll open your mouth and whisper...Yes, that's how it will be. How it should be.You peer into the depths and into the light of the false moon beneath them, trying to wring the answers out from it like water from a stone....You hear footsteps. Someone's coming.
The figure of a man steps onto the cliffside landing with his hands in his pockets. You don't move as he approaches. The end of a cigarette glows red and through the cloud of smoke, you recognize that it's-"Oh hey Ed," you say."Hey, Manager," Ed says."Out for a walk?""Fine time as any."Ed stands next to you on the railing, his face set out towards the deep waters. You take a closer look at him, just to confirm it. Yeah. It's still the same old Ed, after all these years. A question worms its way into your mouth."Hey, Ed. You remember that time I loaned you $20?" Ed blinks sleepily before reaching into his pocket. Jesus Christ, it *is* him. "Wait. I'm not here to collect taxes or anything. I just wanted to know if it's you." Fuck, that was a lame thing to say."I'm still me, boss," Ed says. He waves a finger through the air. "It was for the bloodfish research project, right? The one with the indoor tank that spilled and everything.""Yes! That's the one!." You smack a fist against your palm. The cold vanishes all of a sudden as your brain starts heating up. "I couldn't eat fishsticks after a week after that. All the blood and guts spilling out like pinata candy. And that fucking lunch lady with the knife-!""You threw up in the middle of the cafeteria a few times afterward." Ed laughs, then turns to look at your face now. "You must be Ace, right?""Yeah, it's me Ed." "What have you been up to since our high school days..?""Well, come to think of it..."The two of you spend a long time surrounded by the dark roaring ocean, talking about everything and nothing in your lives."... and me and Jim never saw that blue woman or that other lunatic again.""It's one of those chance encounters in life. What can you do, you know? C'est la vie!" Ed faces the horizon and his smile slowly fades."I saw light for just a moment, maybe I'll see it again tomorrow.""What's that supposed to mean?""Hell if I know." You turn to look at Ed. Ed looks at you. The two of you burst into awkward, mutual laughter."Why are you out here?""Eh?" You chuckle. "Well, that's a pretty heavy question, you know. Maybe it's God who put us under His earth and all the things spinning around it. Maybe-""I mean. You could look at it like that. But what I really meant was." Ed flicks the cigarette butt into the air, sending it spinning down into the surf. "Why'd you start working for P Company?" "Oh. Well...">"I was dead broke. P Company was hiring. Nothing more." >"I didn't expect it at first, but I'm starting to like this management gig." >"I'm just trying to figure something out. Things aren't so good back home." >"..." Just turn and look away. The memories are long out here.>Write in?We're back.
>>5636882>"I'm just trying to figure something out. Things aren't so good back home."
Hey, to that one AI anon at the end of the last thread. I got a few thoughts:- More variations on the eyes on clothing. Suits with eyes, tailcoats with eyes, eyes with more eyes like Beauty and Beast. Pic semirelated.- Discount version of the Ring dudes in Leviathan or male Kromer. Wears all white, alright.- The meat forms of the Oracle from Hello Charlotte.
>>5636875>>5636874>>5636882So what, did BB see Manager Ace stripping, or did she leave before she could and the QM didn't note it there? And did we go UP to the cliffside view or DOWN to a cliffside view?
>>5637371What would be funnier? Chronologically, no. The "name your Manager" was happening during the earlier BB interview, while only now is Manager Ace traumatizing Frank.The verticality part is intentional.
>>5637498>Chronologically, no. The "name your Manager" was happening during the earlier BB interviewAh I didn't notice the [earlier] and [and now...] before. Now I do, thanks>while only now is Manager Ace traumatizing Frank.She'll come around one day, hopefully. Glad my write-in was liked enough you rolled with it>verticality part is intentional.Interesting
>"I'm just trying to figure something out. Things aren't so good back home." There's a tightening sense of relief around your chest as you say those words aloud. Under the influence of the dreaming, aimless flow of the conversation, your carefully held guard slips away. Back home, I...No, no. It's not something you like to think about, yet you can't help but think about it in the silences you find yourself slipping into these days. So you compromise yet again and say something about it without really saying it.You guess it's better like that.But you have time now out here in the Suburbs, cruising along leisurely. Surely, time enough to think at last. And maybe one day-Ed coughs, snapping you back to literal cold reality of here and now. "Hey chief.""Yes, Ed?""Whatever you're thinking about, let it away drift for now. Bad memories. I get the picture." Something in your expression must have changed because Ed takes a look at it and chuckles. "Cheer up. It's not always quite so bad down here, under the earth.""That's bullshit and you know it," you snap back, with surprising force. As sudden as it came, only embarrassment remains. "I mean, shit. I just got distracted.""It's fine. You're doing an okay job so far. No one's been put behind the pipes yet." Ed shrugs, then searches his pockets for another cigarette. "Though, it's just been the first shift. And as the old folks would say, 'good times don't last forever.'"Another pause. Longer this time. The roar of the waters recedes into an ambient lull. Ed's cigarette remains in his mouth, unlit."Where might you be headed now, Ed?""Got the express train to catch, it's waited long enough. I've got to get going for the security nightshift." Ed takes off his teashades and you can see the sleep set deep into his eyes. What you thought was simple tiredness is instead complete exhaustion seeping into his entire being. "The other place is a real mess. You wouldn't believe how much he's got all of us rushing around like that.""You look like shit, Ed," you state lamely."What can you do, man? It's just this City. Man's built to work, ever since we came outta the garden." Ed starts to walk off and down towards the facility. "It's been good talking to ya. I'll be seeing you around, Mr. Big Shot.""Have a good night Ed," you call out to the rapidly ascending form. The figure throws back a wave and then he's gone.What a cool guy.[GRANDFARCE] You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk? What have you settled for instead?
You return to the Control Room and come face to face with Frank's worried look."Manager, you left your coat back here. Weren't you cold..?" You wave her off."It's fine, it's fine. I am still in the pink of health. Look at my cheeks." You point accordingly. "See how the blood flushes through them - suffused with the redness of life itself! Eh, eh?"Frank doesn't seem convinced, but she relents and continues with her news. In fact, your secretary noticeably perks up as she takes out a very official-looking coupon."Manager, I found this 20% off savings coupon with the rest of the papers! And this box of PRODUCT behind your desk! (WOAW!) The expiry date is two days from now, so I want you plan your purchases accordingly. Make sure not to purchase too much junk items otherwise-""Yes, yes, I heard this all at that silly new manager meeting." You feel more in your element now that you're here with Frank in the Control Room. Confidence surges. "Shall we begin?">Shopping Phasefrank (frankalicious) - https://youtu.be/iPkHsyVnRTYYour secretary starts preparing the necessary paperwork to make the workload just a bit easier. As for you, it's time make the executive decisions for Catalog purchases, with your admittedly thin budget in mind.You have a total of:- 17 E-Energy- 3 PRODUCT- x1 20% off coupon (one item, 2 days left)CURRENT CATALOGS:- Catalog of the Major Powers. A professional vinyl-bound book, marked by the official stamp of the Powers that Be. The pages have the chemical stench of recycled agricultural waste.- DISCOUNT DAN'S CRAZY CORPORATE CATALOG. This pamphlet looks like a deformed, clown-colored bastard of a supermarket's savings club publication and a children's coloring book. The bar codes look legitimate, despite your misgivings.[Information: The remote nature of the Suburban facility increases the cost of hiring new personnel, but decreases costs for facility upgrades.][Information: KEYWORD prices require a single word or phrase to be written in, according to the manager's judgement.]Catalog of the Major PowersManagerial-ORACLE Consultation line. Allows you to phone a friend in times of psychological and informational need. Loves her fellow human beings. (2 P) -STARSTRUCK hologram generator. Allows you to project a holographic avatar of yourself anywhere in the facility, which functions as a distraction and as an active camera. (5 E, 1 P)-Lepi and SILK fashion magazines. "Proudly featuring the red hot fashion styles straight from the heart of S Company!" This will certainly expand your choices in the next shift's Shopping Phase. (1 P)- Personal TV set. Portable and contains a tailor-made programming just for (You). The voice of the world, right by your side. (5 E, 1 P)-Vital sign detector. Allows remote monitoring of employee health through installed suit sensors. (5 E)
Facility- INSTINCT I. Rationalizes PRODUCTION machinery to have a new rate of 2 E to 1 PRODUCT. Minor decrease to keystone fragment compatibility. (20 E, 2 P)- INSIGHT I. Gives hints towards PARADIGM manifesting conditions. (5 E, 1 P)- REPRESSION I. Produces warnings if a containment breach or an attack from outside parties is imminent. Declares facility danger levels. (5 E).- Room construction. Make or repurpose a room of your choice (ex. containment cell, cafeteria, storage, dormitory). (3 E)- Room reinforcement. Upgrades a containment cell to contain breaches or generally increases the safety of other rooms. (3 E)- A television set. WARNING: Exposure times to ENTERTAINMENT should be not exceed more than two consecutive hours of use. (1 P)Personnel- Hire an employee. These guys are your hands and feet during the work day. (6 E, KEYWORD. Spend an additional 2 E to screen three potential candidates for the position.)- Hire an M Company Drone. Worse than a regular employee in many ways, but better morale and complains less often. Variety of skills. (3 E)- Basic combat training. Select one employee for a very special, very accelerated training course. (5 E)- Department Head Injector. Necessary for promoting an employee to that very lofty status. Requires a Department to be a Head of. (4 P)DISCOUNT DAN'S CRAZY CORPORATE CATALOG- CARDIAC ARREST module! Pumps deadly nerve gas through the facility's ventilation with pretty good lethality rating! (20 E, 1 DT-C) SOLD OUT!- Moderately-Sized Malkbug! Produces DELICIOUS MALK and very solid chitin on a day-to-day basis. Reports of mooing are entirely unfounded. (8 E)- Jukebox! Plays soothing music and passively increases the morale of employees. (8 E)- Hire beer vending machine! Really good at increasing the morale of employees. "Prost!" - N. (12 E)- Trans-Atlantic Voice Changer. Transform your boring, drab voice into something fit for radio! A favorite among hormonal teenage fangirls. (5 E)- Hire a Clown! HONK HONK HONK! (17 E, 2 P)- A LITERAL TICKING TIMEBOMB. TAKE IT OFF OUR HANDS PLEatuThe rest of the catalog is unsurprisingly blank...Now then...>You earned the money, now spend it!"Frank," you say."Manager," she says."Frank." You spin your index through the air. "How does one as tall as you creep so quietly upon the earth and under it? And so consistently as well!" "I'm not trying to be offensive when I say this," Frank breathes out. "But you simply aren't paying enough attention to what's around you, Manager...""Hmmm. I understand~" Ah, it's not like you can retort with that little truth stinging in your side.
>>5638489>INSIGHT I. Gives hints towards PARADIGM manifesting conditions. (5 E, 1 P)>REPRESSION I. Produces warnings if a containment breach or an attack from outside parties is imminent. Declares facility danger levels. (5 E).>Lepi and SILK fashion magazines. "Proudly featuring the red hot fashion styles straight from the heart of S Company!" This will certainly expand your choices in the next shift's Shopping Phase. (1 P)>A television set. WARNING: Exposure times to ENTERTAINMENT should be not exceed more than two consecutive hours of use. (1 P)>Hire an employee. These guys are your hands and feet during the work day. (6 E, PIOUS) REMAINING: 1 E, FUNNY COUPONTotally fine with changing these if other people have better ideas, especially for the key word.
>>5638538No beer vending machine straight from HELP WANTED!? No ticking timebomb the return of Somewhere in Nevada?
>>5638560The beer vending machine costs a LOT. But we could get the ticking time bomb. If you really want it.If we were to get the beer vending machine, we could spend the coupon and get rid of the employee and repression to get it. Sounds good or something else?
>>5638538>>5638563Changing my vote to replace Repression I and the Employee with the Beer Vending Machine.Should leave us with just the coupon, since we had a leftover E.
>>5638489>INSIGHT I. Gives hints towards PARADIGM manifesting conditions. (5 E, 1 P)>Hire beer vending machine! Really good at increasing the morale of employees. "Prost!" - N. (12 E)>Lepi and SILK fashion magazines. "Proudly featuring the red hot fashion styles straight from the heart of S Company!" This will certainly expand your choices in the next shift's Shopping Phase. (1 P)>A television set. WARNING: Exposure times to ENTERTAINMENT should be not exceed more than two consecutive hours of use. (1 P)>A LITERAL TICKING TIMEBOMB. TAKE IT OFF OUR HANDS PLEatuOK now I'm good>>5638991>>5638563I had the crazy idea of burning the coupon right away just to seize that INSTINCT I, but that'd be too retarded to pull this early>>5638489>PARADIGMNo EPIPHANY this go around?>MalkbugFinally, take thishttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuV06FJzHpUBut when is Malkuthbug?
>>5639429Yeah, we can always try to get the Instinct I next time. Coupon does last two days.>When is Malkuthbug?Next time, we'll hire a Drone to satisfy that
>>5638486>>5638489>Lepi and SILK fashion magazines. (-1 P)>A television set. (-1 P)>REPRESSION I (-5 E)>Room Construction: Containment Cell C (-3 E)>Room Construction + Reinforcement: Reinforced Containment Cell D (-6 E)>A LITERAL TICKING TIMEBOMB (Free! - Put this in the Reinforced Containment Cell GO GO GO)Resources Remaining: 3x E-Energy | 1x PRODUCT | 1x 20% Off CouponNot buying INSTINCT I first thing physically pains me (it makes every shift easier and gives us better buying power), but it eats up almost all of our E-Energy even with the coupon so it'll have to wait a day. At the very least I just want Containment Cell C - we only have two at the moment and both are occupied. The rest are novelty purchases.
>>5640116Fair's fair on the containment cell but worst case scenario, we can always just put the eyeball jar on a high shelf and it probably can't do anything. We can try aiming to get Instinct and the containment cells tomorrow, if that would be satisfactory.
>>5640152>just put the eyeball jar on a high shelfOh right, we can just put our Friend the Egg in the Janitor's Closet for a shift. What could possibly go wrong, haha?>>5638486>>5638489Changing vote >>5640116 to "stonks">[20% Off Coupon Applied!] INSTINCT I (-16 E | -2 P)>Lepi and SILK fashion magazines. (-1 P)Resources Remaining: 1x E-EnergyThe only thing that stopped me from putting up this stupid plan in the first place was I was worried about where we'd put whatever Abno we'd get tomorrow.
>>5638489>A LITERAL TICKING TIMEBOMB. TAKE IT OFF OUR HANDS PLEatuSure
One final done, definitely a B in the class. Gonna call the vote (BEER wins, 2 to 1) and post the update later tonight or early morning tomorrow. From here on out, I'll call the votes/start writing 1-2 days after an update, just as a provisional time limit.
>BEER shopping list.You remember a few key things about orientation, which prompt you to buy this INSIGHT module.P Company has gained much notoriety throughout countless business cycles for its almost unbreakable monopoly on the manufacture of PRODUCT ("The final word in consumer products!"). And yet, amid the PRODUCT-based fervor of the orientation meeting, you did sense a curious, almost intentional abbreviation concerning the subject of PARADIGMS. The speakers' emphasis via speaking around them was a little heavy-handed, but you are genuinely curious about PARADIGM. A few phrases stick out such as "realization," "anomaly alteration", and "grievous yet comical bodily harm," but the possibility for being "rewarded greatly by Upper Management for securing a PARADIGM" does pique your interest the most. The eye of corporate falling upon you and your good deeds..."If I knew anything for certain, I would be happy to tell you about it but s-sadly eehhh..." Frank chews the inside of her bottom lip."A case of 'you'll know it when you see it' then?""Does the moon see screws, Manager?" It seems you two are on the same wavelength. Watching for it, waiting for it...Beer vending machine. Yep.The fashion magazines. Definitely a must - you just became sick of bowties right about now. Ho-hum~TV. Even though it's only a printed image, you can't help but imagine your reflection in the darkened screen... "Manager? Are you..?" "Sorry, got carried away." A LITERAL TICKING TIMEBOMB. Frank gives you a look. You stare her dead in the eyes as you sign off on the purchase(?). Silently, you invoke the manager's executive discretion and Frank sighs as she usually does. You cross your t's and dot your i's and make sure to double check the correct answers before...[GRANDFARCE] "BEHOLD." You take all the envelopes in hand, fan them with a flourish, pivot on a heel, and swing your arm straight down, again and again, flinging each letter straight into the hungry maws of the pneumatic pipes! 1! 2! 1! 2! Into you! Into you! Yes, what a magnificent toss, and that one too - a full three points from yours truly!Frank gives a little polite smile and fills the Control Room with enthusiastic applause for your performance, before she kneels to pick up the one few several that missed their marks. A special feeling wells up in your chest. You've done a good job today, Manager."Hmmm. I do believe we're done here. Are you coming along to the dormitories, Frank?" You make sure to put your coat on this time."I think... I'll stay here and kiss the cockroaches goodnight." Frank waves you off. "Take care, Manager..."How conscientious of her. She's definitely a keeper.
You meet Chardy in the communal men's bathroom, hunched over the bathtub. The entire room is filled with a faint mechanical rattling and humming, as if a pipe were clogged somewhere, going clunk-clunk-clunk. The smell of fish is strong here as well, as if someone had opened a window and let the the life and decay of the vast sunless sea spill into the room."Who are..?" Chardy shifts in his plastic stool. His narrowed eyes scan your bathrobe and fall upon the black and white manager's keycard. (Never leave home without it~) He seems a little on edge. "Ah. Good evening, sir. You must be the Manager Miss Smith was talking about earlier. Since most of the others have departed, it seems that we would be neighbors in the dorms.""Chardy." You look over his shoulder. "Why are you are feeding fish flakes into the bathtub?"Chardy's polite smile grows wider and more nervous. The water in the bathtub is dark and cloudy, but judging from the little swishing movements at the bottom, there must be at least a hundred translucent shrimp swimming about in there. Inexplicably, you sense that the shrimps are happy where they are.You're at a loss of words - this fucking guy is farming shrimp in his bathtub. YOUR bathtub. You have a bucket full of hygiene products for perfecting the temple of your body. You even brought out the *good* bath bombs for this. Drawing on your irritation, you try think of something to say and something comes to mind and you blurt it out: "Do they have names?" Chardy nods slowly. "There was Edgar and Alessa to begin with. Since then, they have reproduced and now it is beyond my capabilities to identify each shrimplet and juvenile. The task is not so shrimple now, is it?"Before you can get a word in, Chardy grabs at your bathrobe with surprising force. "Sir, I must ask you a favor. Please don't breathe word of this to the authorities." He seems deathly serious. "There are people in the food industry who would demand to see a license and ask too many questions. Please, protect me."You know...[GRANDFARCE] ... this would be an excellent time to make another lasting first impression with the employees. How do you want to continue?>Be cool. Laugh it off and play down the threat of a, snrk, police raid. We're out in the middle of nowhere, man!>Act tough. Demand a percentage of the profit in exchange for not reporting it to the authorities. But do it *fashionably.*>Pose in front of the shrimp. Even the littlest ones must know true beauty.>"Die." Kill him with style.>Write in?
>>5640907>Pose in front of the shrimp. Even the littlest ones must know true beauty.>Then lean into Chardy with some slight menace. Channel that inner disgrace, but into an outer grace!>"Tell you what. I'll look into getting a proper tank for them that isn't MY goddamn bathtub, or maybe even a second bathtub to let you keep using MINE... in return for a small cut of the profits. Then I'll forgive you doing this behind my back, with no warning or permission at all.">Smile. >:)>"Do we have a prawnblem with this, Chardy?"
>>5640895Frank is cute. I get the feeling things will blossom into a beautiful coworker relationship but the style impetus will take hold, and things will get spicy, provided the quest continues and the QM does not die or have his motivation torn from him by the dreaded QM Curse
>>5640907>Pose in front of the shrimp. Even the littlest ones must know true beauty.>"Behold my shrimple beauty, shrimps."
>>5640907>Pose in front of the shrimp. Even the littlest ones must know true beauty.Obligatory.Of the two awful puns I'll support >>5640926 because I'm softhearted and don't want to bully our employees, even if it is our tub.
>>5640926>>5640937I'm sticking with what I got, but props to you guys for going for the nice and shrimple posing vote
>>5636870hey qm can i use your art as part of the /qag/ thumbnail?
>>5641006The handdrawn stuff like Frank, GUY, and all that? Sure, have fun.
>SHRIMP SHOWBOAT>"Behold my shrimple beauty, shrimps."The tension on Chardy's face turns into one of those looks - absolute incomprehension, like some isolated sewage tribesman or surface dweller being shown the concept of a car.With a most delicate touch, you place your fingers on the disastrously unawesome balding sphere that is Chardy's head and use just the smallest amount of pressure to push him away. Fortunately, the fat man gets the hint and unfastens himself from your coat.Looking into the murky waters, you can just barely make out the faint shadows of shrimps, the small tiny dots of pigmentation in their almost, *almost* vestigial eyes. But they can most assuredly see *something* and that is good enough.There is a time and place for style. The stage is set. The audience is here.You exhale and begin to dramatically pose....Ace YEEEEEEAOH! Ace is showing off his moves!GWOAGH! Ace Wooooo!!! Ace Smith does a gainer kick!UAUGHHHHGHHH!!! ..."Shrimply exquisite." Ah, doing those poses felt amazing, even as your head does feel a little faint, having done them a little too hard. Have you been out of style for so-On the other hand, Chardy looks completely mystified. (As expected, considering his extremely receding hairstyle. It's completely over for him - he will never understand the world of style in which you have been submersed in.) You let out a sigh and prepare to communicate on his level."You may keep your shrimp, Chardy. But please, leave the other tub open for me." "Ah." Chardy beams with gratitude. "Thank you, sir."An undercurrent of shellfishness rises up as you consider taking some of his profits, but that would be overkrill. If you styled any harder on him, you would certainly kill this dumpy lump of a man right on the spot. Right now, you don't want his money or much of a conversation, you only want his gaze and attention."Buh-bye now~"You stride out of the room towards the other bathroom, feeling utterly confident in your abilities. You still got STYLE, bitches.It's only later, having tucked yourself into spidersilk pajamas and a moth-bitten bedroom (ah, how the mighty have fallen), that you remember that the facility is built right next to the false ocean. For some reason, you crack up at the image of Chardy slaving away in that crummy bathroom and the laughter follows its way into your dreams...
- all the stars have gone out and the frightful bulk of night rushes forth from the illimitable depths of the earth to the very top of the sky and you are sure in the very depths of your heart that no one living thing on the earth was spared as the sea drowned man, city, sun, moon, stars, all -You wake up in silence, but the fear is still alive.SHIFT 2You stride past the canteen, feeling absolute agitation and none of the usual hunger pangs. As much as you want to *properly* debut yourself to your other employees, you're in an absolute shit mood, even though you hardly remember what you dreamed about. You hate your dreams and you've been hating them for a very long time - this is just another fucking incident where your own mind is bullying you.Surely.This morning as you brushed your hair, you were struck with the sudden desire to come off as an absolutely cool and ominous type of Manager, who doesn't talk to his employees and exists as an almost mysterious anathema to them. Yes, this is a much better reason for skipping breakfast this must surely be the new and hip appeal type for today's City slickers."Frank!" You call out into the blue-lit and weird-smelling Control Room. Dammit, your secretary's not here. Even a crummy mouthful of moss bread would ease the strange empty feeling in your stomach.You look through the new papers on your desk, but it's all just junk mail and gibberish. No fan mail, no notices, no cool and new catalogs. Are these even new? Gah! You're tempted to start throwing things around, but that would ruin the neat stacks of papers so you just stand up and seethe instead....Hooo. You're calm now.Really.You start looking through the many cameras to ease your buzzing mind. Back to work, no more silly dreams.There's another containment cube in the same cell as the Egg's. While you haven't started the work day yet, perhaps you can ask the Agent to open the cube, now why don't you? (Choose one anomaly.)>"Unwithering flowers violently blossom." ("Had to chop her out the ground. The legs would have went on for miles and miles.")>"So this little lady has made a decision! To stay here and never leave until laughter is restored to this place!" (You hear muffled swearing from inside the containment cube. A spindly black hand reaches down and covers one of the other cameras in the cell.)>"All that remains is the hollow pride of a weathered knight." ("HE TOOK MY FUCKING ARM. THIS PAPIER-MÂCHÉ MOTHERFUCKER!")>"Then I shall lie back, quiet and comfortable, and watch the black and red dragons have their last big fight together; and then..." ("There was nothing in the box, but I couldn't go any further. I'm sorry.")Outsourced the abno text due to a sudden whimsical mood.
>>5642318>"All that remains is the hollow pride of a weathered knight." ("HE TOOK MY FUCKING ARM. THIS PAPIER-MÂCHÉ MOTHERFUCKER!")
>>5642318>"So this little lady has made a decision! To stay here and never leave until laughter is restored to this place!" (You hear muffled swearing from inside the containment cube. A spindly black hand reaches down and covers one of the other cameras in the cell.)
>>5642421+1 clown? Spider? Both?
>>5642355+1Let's go pinata KoD
>>5642318>"All that remains is the hollow pride of a weathered knight." ("HE TOOK MY FUCKING ARM. THIS PAPIER-MÂCHÉ MOTHERFUCKER!")Violent! Both of our current ones are incredibly passive so this'll be a nice change of pace.
>>5642318>"All that remains is the hollow pride of a weathered knight." ("HE TOOK MY FUCKING ARM. THIS PAPIER-MÂCHÉ MOTHERFUCKER!")Oh, those are all sounding wonderful.
You let your finger rest gently on the workday button and, very slowly and very carefully, increase the pressure on the mechanism, reveling in that anticipatory excitement until the moment you indent the shiny, red button with a little click.Bliss.Once again, the intercoms whine to life and the same forlorn trumpet heralds the start of the shift. You feel a particular mix of terror and familiarity for a moment, as if remembering something you shouldn't.SHIFT START (LISA: The Painful OST - God's Call) - https://youtu.be/BMeL4uRNEW0SHIFT 2 - START!QUOTA: 8 PRODUCTYou switch the cameras to observe the employees and your purchases from last night.Ed is there in the corner with the vending machine. He's passed out on a mat with a blanket over his head and a lone beer bottle by his hand. A long spindly hand reaches out of the vending machine slot and roughly shoves him onto his side into the recovery position. (Your image of him has been irrevocably blemished.)Miss Smith. BB. Whatever Employee B is, she is strumming her guitar idly and without intent in the background.Daisy is talking about something really stupid, something about junk and teddy bears, as Aleth, Chardy, and - ah there's your secretary - Frank listen on. She makes a little star using her trick glove, a cute visual to go along with her story.Chardy stops to throw a compacted block of newpapers onto the brazier. Daisy stops talking to watch the flames grow higher and brighter.GUY is resting on the bare floor with a little broom near him and a wet towel slopped over his head and mask. He shifts from side to side in a state of agitation. His suit's right sleeve is loose and empty, missing the necessary arm to fill it in.The TV stands in the middle of the break room, its screen dark and mirror-like. You pinch yourself hard, drawing blood, and turn your attention somewhere else.Your new fashion magazines are on your desk. You don't have the time to peruse those pages of peculiar vogue right now, maybe... after this shift, yes.Of the ticking time bomb, you find no suit nor tie of it. Your last-night hunch that it already blew up in Discount Dan's HQ is looking more and more likely. Hehe.
>"All that remains is the hollow pride of a weathered knight." ("HE TOOK MY FUCKING ARM. THIS PAPIER-MÂCHÉ MOTHERFUCKER!")The cube in Containment Cell A opens up and is immediately smashed to pieces as the long coiling segments of an pseudo-centipede furiously thrash about. "I, you... Zzzcoundrel! ZZZINNER! TWO-LEGGED BEAZZZT!" The car-sized insect's buzzing voice is filled with righteous indignation. As the origami anomaly sweeps through the room and rears up - to the height of a grown man, no less - you catch a glimpse of the intricate folded armor and the scribbled insignias and emblems which adorn each pleat, crimp, and fold. The craftsmanship is of high quality. You eyes widen at its magnificence.Clutched against its right side, the anomaly is burdened by its huge double-handed (quadruple-appendaged?) long sword, which bleeds an oozing black substance from its tip onto the cell floor. Indelible stains begin to pool where the drops fall. Finding none of the accused, the anomaly coils up defensively in the center of the room, poised with its zweihander at the ready."If not exzztinguished... where have you gone, Goaler? And where have you brought me hence?"The Knight of Pen and Paper has been acquired.Hour 0, Shift 2Quota: 0/8 PRODUCT generatedCollected E-Energy: 0 packetsE-Energy Generated/Hour: 0 packets/hourCollected PRODUCT: 0 boxesAnomaly and Oddity Work Orders [1 Hour]>The Egg of Human Endeavors>TOMORROW GIRAFFE>The Knight of Pen and Paper>PRODUCTION Room- Employees A, B, C, D, and F are available.- No one is guarding the outer facility.Miscellaneous Works [Variable]>Make an intercom announcement, send a PDA message, etc. (What do you want to say?)>Host an interview with an employee. (With who?)>Investigate..?>Write in.
>>5643650ANOMALY WORK ORDERS >EGG OF HUMAN ENDEAVORS Employee D to Entertain. Just chat with it and apologize about the whole overcrowding thing.>TOMORROW GIRAFFE Employee F to Enable. Just clean up any dust or stuff in the cell. We want to see how you tick.>KNIGHT OF PEN AND PAPEREmployee BB to Foster. Try giving him some paper and/or pens to see if he eats it? Be careful around it regardless.NOTE TO SELF >Plan on buying GUY a prosthetic when its available.
>>5643650>Make an intercom announcement"Good morning people! I hope you all had a nice beauty sleep. Your style tip of the day is 'you can't pull off poses if you don't stretch.' Let's have a fabulous workday!">send a PDA messageTell Chardy to investigate the beer vending machine. It was "hired" as an employee. Is it alive or something? Be nice to it or we won't get beer! And you know what happens then...>The Egg of Human EndeavorsEmployee B to Foster with Egg. Grab a blanket, grab yourself, get in there, and hug the flask close. Warm it up that way as if it were some teddy bear, but do NOT speak with it or respond to it in any verbal way at all. This is Foster work, not Entertain work. Channel that 'reporter comforting a small child' energy!This is because the Egg said he was cold last shift, and Employee B has not done any work on Egg yet, and Employee B is good with Foster work.>TOMORROW GIRAFFEEmployee A to Entertain with GIRAFFE. Talk to it about the stars and what you know about them. Ask Guy to first tell you about what happened with him turning into a copy of the thing, both before and after, before you go in for this work. Don't space out in there!Same reasons as Employee B to Egg above.>Knight of Pen and PaperEmployee D to Entertain with Knight. Greet it warmly to our facility and introduce yourself as the resident magician, then ask for it to introduce itself. Treat it as if it really were some noble knight and not a bug masquerading as one (that's not racist to drones, right?).Self-explanatory.According to the map of our facility's first floor right now which the OP should totally repost in this thread! we have this new Knight literally in the same room as the Egg. Harkens back to MANAGER, HELP! where we had Red Connection and Occupied! Do Not Enter! sharing the same containment cell. This isn't HELP WANTED! where every abno is in its individual cell. Guess we're on a stricter budget and space allowance in this quest, eh guys?
>>5643650Fuck, changing part of my vote in >>5643696>Have Frank investigate the Beer Vending Machine instead of Chardy>Assign Chardy to Guard Duty for this hour>Plan on buying GUY a prosthetic when its available, as >>5643685 said
>>5643650I'll support >>5643696 >>5643700I'd rather have Chardy on Beer Vending Machine duty since he's our best machine guy, but I understand wanting to rotate out guard duty. ...We really need to pick up REPRESSION.I'd come up with a plan of my own but I'm a prudencelet
>>5643950I simply do not want Frank on guard duty yet again. Maybe later, but not twice in a row even though we are on a new shift
>>5643696infor!Mashun (will be included in the OP next thread)General Infohttps://pastebin.com/gFNpHHThEmployee Dossier https://pastebin.com/WVwXqavM
>>5643650Oh shit Manager quest is back, i'm the anon who wrote the janitor sidestory for the OG. This one has a different vibe, but still a good one my man.>Make an intercom announcement"Good morning people! I hope you all had a nice beauty sleep. Your style tip of the day is 'you can't pull off poses if you don't stretch.' Let's have a fabulous workday!"NOTE TO SELF>Plan on buying GUY a prosthetic when its available.>Have Frank investigate the Beer machine. See whats up with it being organic. Also, bring us a beer. Ah the pros of being a step above on the corporate ladder!>Chardy Guard the outside.Ambivalent on anomaly work orders, those generally arent my vibe, whether the outcome is disastorous or excellent, its entertaining to me!
You start knocking out the miscellaneous works first to get into the proper mindset of the Manager. >Make an intercom announcementPSSSHHHHT-"Good mooooooooooooooooorning, Greater Nevada! I hope you employees all had a nice beauty sleep," you announce over the crackling radio. How else to rouse the rabble, wake the sluggards for a new shift? "Your style tip of the day is: 'You can't pull off poses if you don't stretch.' They're as easy as 1, 2, 3, so don't skip them! Let's have a *fabulous* workday!"TSCHHHCK-Everyone in the break room shares a general sense of bemusement, a wink, a smile, a nudge of the elbow. Aleth chokes back laughter and Frank just shakes her head. You do feel a little guilty when Ed and GUY start stirring from their respective rests, but it's alright. It's fine. It's fine. Everything's alright.(So much for trying to be cool, eh?)>Assign Chardy to Guard Duty for this hourPM - Employee CACE DANDY: You're up for guard duty this hour.C: Certainly sir.C: I do feel rather invigorated after your announcement.Employee C walks out of the break room, down the stairs, and up and out of sight.>NOTE TO SELF- Buy the rabbit man a new armIt won't be a high class treatment like an arm grown from his own stem cells, but there's most certainly a catalog out there with cheap, accessible, and high quality arm prosthetics. (Choose two, hehe.)>Tell Frank to investigate the beer vending machine. It was "hired" as an employee. Is it alive or something? Be nice to it or we won't get beer! And you know what happens then..."H-Hello? This is Frank speaking, number 22095." Frank kneels down, peeking into the vending output slot. She almost leans in further, but wisely decides not to shove her entire head into the very wide slot. "I just wanted to conduct an in-person assessment about how you feel about our facility so far.""'Alcohol is humanity's friend,'" drones a low voice from within the vending machine. "'How can you abandon a friend?'""Oh, I see, sir. So you're on duty right now?""'DRINK!'" A multi-jointed spindly black arm juts out of the slot and gives a thumbs up."I see then. I won't keep you any longer, sir. Have a nice day!" Frank waves with vigor with a little customer service smile, before heading back to her seat. Daisy continues talking, completely oblivious to the audience. Ok, what the hell was that conversation..?
>The Egg of Human Endeavors, Employee BB to Foster with Egg. >Grab a blanket, grab yourself, get in there, and hug the flask close. Warm it up that way as if it were some teddy bear, but do NOT speak with it or respond to it in any verbal way at all. This is Foster work, not Entertain work. Channel that 'reporter comforting a small child' energy!beepEmployee BB has a look of relief when she finally gets the work order, having been rescued from terrible boredom. BB exits the break room and whistles some kind of show tune as she heads towards... huh.You don't know whether to thank GUY for moving the egg out of the containment cell before the giant angry centipede was shoved into it or to reprimand him for stuffing it into the fucking janitor's closet of all places.Employee BB opens the closet door.An avalanche of buckets in all shapes and sizes tumbles out in front of her feet.She picks one up.BB: This is a bucket. This is my bucket.BB starts rooting through the NEVER-ENDING PILE OF BUCKETS for a few minutes... then triumphantly takes out the glass flask containing the anomaly.ANOMALY: I was in there, in the darkness, once more...BB opens her mouth and shuts it again.BB hums to herself a bit.ANOMALY: Aren't you-BB brings the flask close to her body and hugs onto it tightly.An open mouth opens on the anomaly's surface and little pseudopods begin to wave inside the flask.ANOMALY: Ah, ah.Moving carefully, BB takes off her outer suit jacket and hangs it around the flask to better swaddle it.ANOMALY: thank youIt's hard to make out the inside of the flask as a sudden condensation obscures what little you see of the anomaly.BB holds onto the flask for quite a long time....BB carefully places the anomaly in her bucket.There's a slight murmur from within.BB rummages again, sets the metal stand upright, and places the anomaly back into place to the side of the hall.ANOMALY: Yes, thank you, thank you. Yes, I was so afraid, so very afraid of being returned into that place, by that silly rabbit man's hand, no less.ANOMALY: I liked the warmth of your touch.ANOMALY: You're a good person, BB. That's why you're my friend.BB opens her mouth again, but zips up when she looks up to meet the stare of the ever-watchful camera eyes.ANOMALY: I understand. Buh-bye now and thanks, friend.BB just shakes her head and walks back towards the break room.The anomaly is left in the hall in its own thoughts.
>TOMORROW GIRAFFE, Employee A to Entertain with GIRAFFE. Talk to it about the stars and what you know about them. >Ask Guy to first tell you about what happened with him turning into a copy of the thing, both before and after, before you go in for this work. Don't space out in there!Employee A is staring mindlessly into the pipework, tracing endless spirals and shapes as each segment curls and intertwines with one another like the mating of worms, the curling of guts, like lovers' fingers, like-You've seen this situation before, so you hurriedly type in the work order before you can get sucked in yourself. beep "Ack!" Aleth starts, with an uncharacteristic embarrassment. "Chrissake, give me a moment, will you..."Aleth reads the work order then strides over to GUY, who is leaning against the wall with his head hanging. Some sort of headache?"Hello yello," Aleth says. "Listen, Agent, I need your brains if you got any. Tell me about the giraffe and that little transformation sequence you had.""CAN'T SPEAK, AM BRAIN DAMAGE," GUY violently spits out."What?""INK BAD, KNIGHT BAD, HAS INK IN HIM, IN SWORD. BRAIN DAMAGE. POISON." GUY stops talking, takes his PDA, and taps on the screen. Aleth gets the hint immediately.PM Agent GUY - Employee AGUY: The bug knight's ink is poisonous. The sword spills more ink from the tip. I'm not sure if the ink is a natural part of the knight, or if they're related at all. A: Was that what happened to your arm?GUY: He stabbed my arm and injected at least a dozen gallons of ink into it. I had to chop it off before my body could absorb the stuff.A: Do you still have the arm? I could study it.GUY: Does it look like I have my fucking arm??? A: Right, right. A: Just tell me about the giraffe and the transformation thing then.GUY: I didn't even know I became a giraffe, man.GUY: I was just finishing up with the little stars, then I heard almost a voice, more like a feeling, that asked me "You want to take a break?"GUY: So I said yeah, then I was looking around the facility all of a sudden, like I was watching a movie in the third person, omnipresent.A: Omniscient.GUY: Yeah, that.GUY: It wasn't disorienting or anything, it felt completely natural like walking or acting purely on muscle memory. You don't think about things like that in your everyday life until you're asked to.GUY: I heard that sunglasses chick mention me offhand in the break room, then I turned my head and saw that tall lady and the gay guy in that control room BB was talking about. (You almost spit at the description.)GUY: Then, I tiptoed over to the edge of the room and started looking at the City Herself in this "superperspective," the lights on the distant horizon, the depths of the ocean, the loom of the silhouettes of buildings like sleeping giants underA: Alright, I get the picture. Bird's eye view and all that.
GUY: It was really beautiful, believe me. A cold, dark, and very gentle eternity with someone else watching quietly along with me.GUY: I could have continued staring at the world like it was ants marching along until Ed came in the room and talked to me directly.GUY: So I said "What's up?" and stopped looking around.GUY: Still no disorientation too.A: So what made you actually stop?GUY: Well, it's Ed, come on.GUY: And by the time he asked me, I was completely satisfied with what I saw.GUY: Maybe something about the consent or asking part is important?GUY: Beats me, you're the scientist here."You're right. It's my business to learn it myself, not yours." GUY bristles for a moment, then Aleth speaks up again. "Thanks for the info. Yello goodbye.""AGENT SLEEP NOW. BYE." As if exhaustion struck him on the head like a sledgehammer, Agent staggers away and collapses onto the floor again. Aleth stares at the unmoving form for a moment, then clucks to herself."(As much as I'm tempted to find out, I'll have to cut him open later.)" Aleth leaves the break room without further incident. GUY starts snoring.
Employee A enters the containment cell.A: Hello yello.The giraffe kneels down to look at the newcomer.A: I'm Doctor Aleth Zobel, P Company. You look pretty interesting. Would you mind if I cut you up and poked around your insides for a bit?The giraffe stares.A: So you are responsive, though pretty passive. Matches up. This is turning out a little better than the anomalies I handled once upon a time.A waves her hand in front of the giraffe's face(?).The giraffe stares right into A's soul.A stares right back.A: Since you're not much of a talker, how'z about I tell you about the stars in the sky instead?Her voice takes on a half lecturing, half reminiscing tone.A: Stars are bright and shiny, they're kinda pretty, and they're really hard to see when the pollution reaches its height during the day. That's what they are.A: Today is Tuesday, which means stars are statistically inclined to being discovered and named today.A: The stars might be light years away or just a few kilometers out in "space," depending on who you ask and which layer of the City where you ask.A: Personally, I think they're both idiots and it's just a conspiracy made by City Hall to spy on us, just like the megabirds.A takes a pause. (If that was meant to be a joke, you're not laughing.)A: Jeez, it's like I'm talking to a literal stone wall. Hmmm.A: I heard that L Company takes care of the stars, but I can't tell you what that means.A: There was one time where I saw the Health and Sanitation Department rolling out radio equipment on a convoy of trucks. A: I approached one of them when they were unloading and asked what they were doing. He said they were on starwatching duty and he pointed up. A: The sky was completely impossibly clear with a straight path to the star directly above us.A: He said something else to me, but his officer came along and broke up the conversation.A: Afterwards, I didn't see that star again.Almost imperceptibly, the giraffe's head trembles.A: That about covers all I know. Fact, statistics, hearsay. Any questions?The giraffe continues to stare at A politely. A has a somewhat wistful expression....the stars look very different today you knowdon't they just look beautiful?why don't we stop for a moment andah welltomorrow then...The giraffe tilts its head then turns to stare into one of the cameras.A: Riiiiiiight. Yello goodbye.Employee A exits the containment cell.The giraffe rises up, longingly looking up towards the unseen sky. It's neck is much taller than it was at the beginning of the shift.
Hey, judging from the angle on where the neck is pointing at, wouldn't that mean...You trace the curvature and look up. Somehow, just peeking *over* the control room wall, the giraffe is staring down at you."Hello," you say. ..."Hello!" You raise your voice to reach the very top of the ceiling.As usual, there's no visible response from the anomaly.Well, you suppose, this is like having another fan. Someone to shower you with sole focus and attention. The giraffe is practically made for this, seemingly needing no food nor water, content with simply observing the coming and goings within the facility itself. [GRANDFARCE] A gazer like one such as the giraffe surely must be impressed by what it sees, no? You feel a surge of pride welling up.But what the heck is the giraffe's *point* anyway? There's something still missing here.INSIGHT hint: ???
>Knight of Pen and Paper, Employee D to Entertain with Knight. Greet it warmly to our facility and introduce yourself as the resident magician, then ask for it to introduce itself. Treat it as if it really were some noble knight and not a bug masquerading as one (that's not racist to drones, right?).beep"Aw jeez." Daisy looks at the work order. "Just as I was getting to the good parts. Where's Aleth, anyway?""She stepped out for a work order while you were talking," Frank says. "And what about the girl whose parents were eaten by Gut Gatherers?""I dunno, I didn't call her again after high school. Whatever. It's an old story anyway." Employee D hops to her feet. "Later.""Farewell Miss Rufure." "Bye."Employee D enters the containment cell.The anomaly immediately rises up and raises its sword into a rather uneven stance.ANOMALY: Ho!The anomaly surges forward-D: Yeeowp!Employee D quickly exits the containment cell.The anomaly makes an exasperated rustling noise. DM - Employee DD: waht the fuck is thatACE DANDY: That's our new anomaly, The Knight of Pen and Paper.D: jesus fuck that thing is the size of a carD: I didn't sign up to face things like THAT!ACE DANDY: Yes, you did. You signed the employee contract.ACE DANDY: Get in there right now and perform the work order.D: Nope. Not happening.[GRANDFARCE] From the looks of it, Daisy looks really tense, almost on the verge of hyperventilating. She's faking it to try to get out of work - this is the real deal. You'll need to say something really reassuring to get through to her.ACE DANDY: You know, those glasses are really cool. Those are limited edition 2565 Wimbleton Couture, correct?D: whatD seems completely disoriented by your response.D: How did you know that?[GRANDFARCE] Nailed it. Go in for the kill.ACE DANDY: I recognize the branding. You can't just *buy* those anymore anywhere.ACE DANDY: Super exclusive, super cool!D: Thanks, I guess?ACE DANDY: You gotta know that there's nothing to be afraid of when you have glasses that *cool.*ACE DANDY: You dig?D: SUre butD: So what does help with sword swinging centipedes???ACE DANDY: I'm saying that you should act like how you look. You look cool, but you gotta *be* cool. Cool, tough, and stylish as those glasses are.ACE DANDY: Get in there and talk to him, prove yourself worthy of those glasses.ACE DANDY: Can you dig that?D lets out an overwhelmed chuckle.D: Sure, bring it on.ACE DANDY: See, that's better. You're a winner already!A riot of emotions fly across Employee D's face. But in the end...
The Knight's Theme (Nine Inch Nails - Ghosts I - 1) - https://youtu.be/JA5rc4M-YrAEmployee D reenters the containment cell.The paper knight seems completely relaxed.ANOMALY: Hoh! Hello!ANOMALY: I zee you've gathered your witz.ANOMALY: What a ztrange little beazt you are to come thiz way, bearing the vizage of the Great Zage.D: Huh?The centipede points to the dots on the sides of its head - its eyes.D: (Gee Manager, that's some good timing...)ANOMALY: Ah, forgive my rudenezz, if you might be a zage.ANOMALY: I am Rintor-Monom-Arzezzz, zentinel of the Vault Bomik.D: (Ok, ok, go!) Hi, I'm Daisy Rufure, resident magician of this very facility! I don't know the name of it, but we welcome you with open arms!D snaps her gauntlet and a little shimmer of light sparkles in the air.The stance of the anomaly becomes wary.ANOMALY: Hmm, hmm. Then am I to underztand that you are in the company of my Goaler, the one who wearz the rabbit mazk?D: I, I don't even know who you're talking about.ANOMALY: A pitch-black lie.The anomaly lets out a low noise of hissing paper.ANOMALY: Your badge betrayz your mutual azzoziazion. "P Company" waz on very badge I zaw on the breast of my captor.ANOMALY: Down here, time may turn into zpaze, but coincidencez are impozzzzible. Employee D backs up towards the airlock.The anomaly holds its hands to yield.ANOMALY: Jezter, I will not harm the innozent. ANOMALY: I muzt entreat you to have pity on this powerlezz knight. Free me from thiz wretched prizon. I have a zacred mizzion to fulfill. I muzt return to Bomik with greatezt zpeed.D: I don't think that's possible.ANOMALY: For what reazon?D: You're... our prisoner. And by the knight's code, after losing in the field of battle, you must obey the law of the facili-er, land.The anomaly tenses, then lowers its upper body in an arthropod's humble bow.ANOMALY: It iz az you zay.ANOMALY: I have been defeated and thuz I remain at the merzy of the Gaoler and his Lord.The centipede retreats to the center of the room and motions to the cell around itANOMALY: I am reminded of Bomik's vaultz, of which I waz the lone guardian. I protected it for many agez against the robberz and foolz who would ruin the world with itz terrible wonderz. Now it iz I, the guardian, who iz being guarded. Ha-ha!ANOMALY: Today I will forgive you for your ink-ztained dezepzion, Jezter. And yet...The anomaly creases itself.ANOMALY: Now, I muzt uze my head and think. I muzt zertainly parley with the Lord of thiz "fazility" if I wizh to return to my work...Employee D doesn't move a muscle as the anomaly falls silent.ANOMALY: What further buzinezz do you have, Jezter? If you have none, then you may take your leave. D: OhnoI'mgoodthanksbye.Employee D beats a quick exit.The knight takes its sword in hand and resumes its vigil.ANOMALY: Hoo...This guy's going to be a real handful.
The Work Order on The Egg of Human Endeavors is complete.Assigned: Employee BBType: FosterWork Result: GoodE-Energy Generated: +6/∞Anomaly Mood: Terrible -> GoodEmployee Morale: NeutralEmployee Aspect Revealed:Employee BB - Competent (Health+, Mental+, Movement speed+, Work success+ All Stats Up!)Work Notes - Employee BB:- You guys weren't kidding when you said how much he likes to talk. - I think it's somewhat creepy how eager he was to be held like that. He's completely eager to be with people. You know what this reminds me of? Breastfeeding.- Eugh, now I've got a horrible image in my brain, that's wayyyyy too creepy. Gross!- Maybe there's a possible repression bonus involved with an extended lack of interaction?The Work Order on TOMORROW GIRAFFE is complete.Assigned: Employee AType: EntertainWork Result: NeutralE-Energy Generated: +5 (5/100)Anomaly Mood: CalmEmployee Morale: NeutralEmployee Aspect Revealed:Employee A - Jaded (Max Morale-, Energy Collection-, Mental Protection+) Work Notes - Employee A:- Listen, I just want to get back to work. I can go stargazing on my own time, but right now I have a job to do, okke?- Conversations are one thing, but what else can we show to the giraffe? I'm not giving it a show by myself though.- What if we took a sample from the anomaly's skin? It's very hard and it doesn't look like it has an ordinary metabolism, by any means.- TO DO: Fix GUY and come up with a cool work order acronym to supplement FEED.The Work Order on The Knight of Pen and Paper is complete.Assigned: Employee DType: EntertainWork Result: NeutralE-Energy Generated: +5 (5/???)Anomaly Mood: WaryEmployee Morale: Neutral -> AlarmedEmployee Aspect Revealed:Employee D - Mediator (Enable+, Entertain+, Deprive+) Work Notes - Employee D:- Dumbass, give us a heads up on dangerous shit like that! He could have chopped my head clean off!- The knight is really really keen on the details. I just bullshitted a good reason for him to stay here, but he seems really keen on following it through.- What if he didn't forgive me then? He seems pretty certain in what he does.- We're going to need to tell him the truth that we're here to milk him for what he's worth as an anomaly or find some other way to convince him to stay. I have a hunch about his character.Anomaly and Oddity Work Orders [1 Hour]>The Egg of Human Endeavors>TOMORROW GIRAFFE>The Knight of Pen and Paper>PRODUCTION Room- Employees A, B, C, D, and F are available.- No one is guarding the outer facility.Miscellaneous Works [Variable]>Make an intercom announcement, send a PDA message, etc. (What do you want to say?)>Host an interview with an employee. (With who?)>Investigate..?>Write in.
Allergies raped me the entire week and my motivation was wrecked. Finals begin next week. Updates are not going to be consistent and I have to try to update you guys earlier than stay silent. I am still here, so thanks for sticking with me.
>>5649770WORKS >Employee D, Entertain Egg of Human Endeavors. Vent about your frustrations to it. It is a good friend, after all.>Employee BB, Enable Knight of Pen and Paper. Inform her on the Knight's demeanor beforehand. Keep that room clean for our new guest.>Employee F, Deprive Tomorrow Giraffe. Belittle it and question why it wants people to be lazy and lounge around all day. We haven't done much depriving and I'm curious to see how Employee F ticks in a work. MISCS >Make sure GUY gets a beer, he deserves it after what he's done >Try to ask our employees if any of them have a lighter, in case this "parley" ever happens.
>>5649790+1 except>Make sure GUY gets a beer, he deserves it after what he's done I think he already has, many times overnight.Also add>Employee A to guard the facility this hour
>>5649724>announcement reactionAce is not a faggot>Choose twoWhy us? Why not let GUY choose himself from the catalog? Its his goddamn new arm, not ours>"'Alcohol is humanity's friend,'">"'How can you abandon a friend?'"I recognize that good line returning, QM!>>5649736>bucketsNo walrus here>this entire workVery touching interaction, nicely written too>left in the hallBetter than in the dank closet>>5649743>>5649748>pipesFirst MH then HW now NH. Its always the damn disposals and atmos pipework>BRIAN DAMAGlol>infoThis knight sounds like an HE to me. On Shift 2 no less. Giraffe might be a useful tool to help employees recover morale, and the description sounds like becoming an observer ghost in SS13. And ACE IS NOT FUCKING GAY>>5649754>megabirds???>>5649757>sole focus and attention(You)s>>5649764>glasses talkI have no regrets about my write-in. Ace is already a funny and cool protag. He's already shaping up to be a solid manager with the way he broke D out of her panic and got them motivated. Serious style points there>Super exclusive, super cool!Very reminiscent of the cool merchant guy from Disco Elysium>>5649768>Rintor-Monom-Arzezzz, zentinel of the Vault BomikWe haven't asked GUY where he found this bug yet. Sounds like this vault is already looted to shit by now and he's just another energy-producing being for us to keep>this entire talk>GUY's infoHe's the real deal alright. Serious cunning to go with his knight's expertise. Ace will have to go in and talk with him really soon, alongside Frank as his right-hand lady>>5649770>CompetentImpressive>eagerLet's treat him well so he doesn't become Father, shall we?>repression bonusI don't wanna do him dirty like that>JadedWe don't have much mental-heavy abnos yet. A liability otherwise>took a sampleExtraction/Collection?>cool work order acronym to supplement FEED.I can't come up with the words to turn FEED into SNEED>MediatorNice>heads upBetter spread the word about this knight to the other employees, plus GUY's info>keen on details>certainSharp as a paper's edge>truthIt might earn points by respecting him, but he won't like being captive
>>5650015Just an idea Egg boy might be able to help GUY get yolked again, it was able to help with arthritis and mentioned a failed "Panacea". This idea only works if egg is willing to help GUY after getting poached by him.>Frank is ____Cute, the perfect height for hugs, pleasant, maybe a Bug Girl (Nice!), Best Girl>EGG/BB CrackshipApathetic Girl and an Empathetic Egg, I can imagine Egg getting absolutely scrambled by some flirty lines, maybe even cracking his shell with a chance to see just how Hard boiled he is under BBs scalding love.>Ed still best boyAm I confusing my facility quests or was there a fanfic with Ed in it at one point.>Knights a HEIt's clearly a Ze/Zim/ZirAlso is this GUY the same as the one from the little mini series with the IV-Powered PDA?
>>5652701>is this GUY the same as the one from the little mini series with the IV-Powered PDA? That would be cool but considering how short of a run that was? I'm not sure how much we could connect the two. >EGG/BB Crackship DO NOT LEWD THE BLOB OF UNKNOWNABLE HORRORS.
>Employee D, Entertain Egg of Human Endeavors. Vent about your frustrations to it. It is a good friend, after all."... so that's how I ended up here. I guess it kinda sounds like my own life gets in the way of my own life." Daisy titters. "Ain't it funny how it happens?"[GRANDFARCE] Her words are serious, but she says the conclusion to her stories lightly. Easy! As! Pie! You can't seem to help yourself as a poisonous feeling wells up from inside. Effortless small talk without any *real* problems underneath.Ah, but that's a harsh assessment to level at her, through this omniscient screen no less. You try to wave off this sudden malice. This morning's dream must still scratching its hooks and nails into you. Let's resolve the growing tension by justbeep"Oh. Well." Employee D dusts her hands off, with utter insouciance. "That's that. I guess we can all chat later. Oh ye, Chardy, where are ya? When are you going to fix up that banged up TV set the Manager brought in?""He left for guard duty the previous hour," Frank informs the magician. She sucks in a breath. "In addition... I would advise you and the other employees not to watch television during our regular working hours, unless it is required for an anomaly's work order.""Geeeeeee," Daisy whines flatly. "It's just so boooooooring around here sometimes.""That's a good thing more often than not, hun," Aleth says, staring into the ceiling, no, beyond the tiles and past the ceiling. Her hands are clasped together as she sits still in her seat. "We can't all live interesting lives all the time. It would get too tiring if we did.""Forget it. You guys are just buncha old bats and ha-" Stopping mid-gesture and mid-sentence, the young lady stomps out of the room. Probably for the best, although Aleth continues staring, transfixed by that indeterminate point above the pitiful visible world.(You seriously consider investing into an handyman or at least an interior decorator for these exposed pipes.)
Employee D enters the corridor.The anomaly is watching her already.D: At least you're not gonna chop my head off or be a really weird coworker.D: Just a few minutes ago, that big ol bug in the other cell, your cell, tried to rip my freaking head off! ANOMALY: Tell me about it.D leans closer to the flask with a smirk.D: Izzat an invitation?ANOMALY: Yes. Just say whatever it is that you want to say. We have time.ANOMALY: And I have the ability to guarantee that no one else will be listening.D lets out a derisive snort.D: What, are you some genie in the flask kind of deal or something?The anomaly deforms, reforms, and smiles in response.ANOMALY: Your wish is my command, friend.D laughs.D: Well~ I'm the practicing magician here, so I get to say the magic words.ANOMALY: Do as you please.ANOMALY: I'm only here to listen.ANOMALY: Because that's what friends do after all.D: Right then. Let's see if you can put your money where your mouth is. ALAKAZA-All the camera feeds in the corridor cut out.click click clickNot even the audio channels work. It's a total loss of communication.You ping your secretary to investigate.Just as F exits the break room, the cameras suddenly whir back to life. Employee D has a very contemplative expression for once.The anomaly has a look of utter content.F: Did I miss something again?D lets out a laugh.D: This little egg guy just told me a few juicy deets that'll really give you a tingle~ANOMALY: We were just making small talk for a little while.ANOMALY: Don't worry about it.F has a stern look on her face and D shrinks down a little.F: Let's not talk air whatever secrets you heard out here, Ms. Rufure.D: Sure, Frank. D flashes a thumbs-up at the egg before Frank drags her by the hand back to the break room.The egg keeps smiling.So you're getting the bigger picture here - it's like an egg so that means...INSIGHT hint: INCUBATE / ???
>Employee BB, Enable Knight of Pen and Paper. Inform her on the Knight's demeanor beforehand. Keep that room clean for our new guest.beepBB nods her head upon receiving the work order and D's work notes, and off she goes at a brisk pace.[GRANDFARCE] By observing her stride, you can divine a sense of inner purpose. You'd place it as a cocktail result of familiarity, confidence, and immigrant acclimation. Shake with cracked ice and strain into a neat business suit.Employee BB enters the containment cell, holding a few buckets and a mop.BB: Hello?The anomaly stops meditating on its sword and takes up its arms as it rears up into a defensive position.BB: Hey, hey, hey. Wait up!Upon seeing the intruder surrender with her hands up, the knight returns to its previous position.ANOMALY: Ho there, Pilgrim.ANOMALY: What a vile and curiouz appendage you have... would you have me chop it off?BB: No. And again, there's these stupid comments about my-BB crosses her arms and lets out an aggravated huff.BB: Are you going to give everyone you meet a silly nickname?ANOMALY: I judge with zound judgement and dizzernment. Henze, I call you with your moniker.BB: Alright. I wanted to made my intentions clear and said to the strange papercraft knight, I just want to clean the room.She motions towards the growing ink stains with her bucket.ANOMALY: Yezzzzzzz.ANOMALY: Theze bucketz will be of immenze uze to keeping thiz artifact held.ANOMALY: Will you permit me?BB: Here.The anomaly places the offered bucket on the ground and raises the blade above it, watching as the steady drip of ink collects within.The anomaly seems to relax as it holds its position.BB: Can you explain this "zword" you have?ANOMALY: This is the artifact named Ekur-Zis. Let me tell you how it iz to be held in the Vault Bomikin in accordanze to the Zage's decreez.The knight takes a reverent tone as it recites from memory.ANOMALY: The object iz to be held within a zealed chamber. The veinz of eternal pipework zhall be inztalled to ferry itz ink into the glazz containerzzz where it is zafezt kept. Onze a week, I muzt azzezz the levelz of ztored ink, make proper notation, and mix the exezz material with a ztrong zolvent or with lye.ANOMALY: Being the azzigned zentinel, I am to keep vigil over the profuzion, ztorage, and deztruzzion of the ink. "The world muzt be protected from being zstained with ugly colorzzzzz." Zo zays the Zage. To thiz end and many otherz, I have dedicated my life and all my ztrength towardz my dutiez zeazelessly and without pauze.
BB: Is that why you attacked that Agent then?The knight bristles. ANOMALY: The Goaler is a beazt of that faraway Zity, wizhing to grazp at toyz and baublez without underztanding. Even with ample warning, he ztill prozeeded into the hallz of the Vault and I ztruck the villain down.ANOMALY: Foolizhnezzzzz.ANOMALY: Merzy iz not to be withheld in the purzuance of my mizzion....BB: As the knight finished talking, I began to feel more and more wary of this already wary being standing before me. My mind had more questions: How many had entered the mysterious lab out here in the outskirts? How many were struck down and certainly killed in that vault? Perhaps- ANOMALY: Pilgrim, are you narrating yourzelf? Haz my talk of zpilling blood offended your earz? It izzzz a zordid topic...[GRANDFARCE] The concern in its voice is equally sincere as its vows.BB freezes. BB: No.BB: I am absolutely not doing that.ANOMALY: I zee.BB looks absolutely horrified, embarrassed to the point of death.[GRANDFARCE] Does she not expect us to hear her?BB spills the rest of her buckets onto the floor.BB: Another job well done! Bye!ANOMALY: Farewell, Pilgrim? Employee BB hurriedly exits the containment cell.The knight steadies its grip once more. [GRANDFARCE] Maybe less confident and more... eccentric. Isn't she one of those artist types..?
>Employee F, Deprive Tomorrow Giraffe. Belittle it and question why it wants people to be lazy and lounge around all day. You return to the break room. Daisy won't look Frank in the face for some reason. The magician seems to have been given a thorough dressing down. Aleth is still staring blankly. BB is strumming her guitar again, but even more aimlessly and distracted than before.Jeez.beepYou blink once and Frank's already out in the hall, walking towards the containment cell. You didn't even see her get up to move.Employee F enters the containment cell.F: H-Hello.The giraffe stops peeking over your wall.Its head reappears on the cameras, staring at the secretary.Employee F takes in a deep breath and starts shouting, ranting, raving.F: W-Why do you bear us such ill-will!F: We need to meet our quotas by the end of the shift... it-it is s-so f-frustrating and unacceptable that you steal... the t-t-time of our valued employees! F: YOU ARE RUINING OUR WORKFLOW!!!F: H-How c-c-can we maintain our st-standard company... principles... w-with you-your m-meddling!You watch completely dumbfounded as Employee F continues spewing a halting hateful soup of buzzwords out at the silent anomaly.F: Y-You... y-you!Employee F sucks in another deep breath, as if to continue her tirade, but keeps breathing hard. She seems dazed by her effort.F: Gwoagh.F: I apologize for the outburst. Excuse me.Employee F brushes herself off in a poor attempt to recompose herself and stumbles out of the cell.The giraffe watches....someone very tall yet still very small came into my room and said a few mean wordsi appreciate the rudenessbut she was a trifle too foldedpolite and correctit's okaythat's okay...>Make sure GUY gets a beer, he deserves it after what he's done.You check on the cameras. GUY is still tuckered out on the floor. Someone's put his coat, ah, that would be Aleth's ratty labcoat draped on top of him. [GRANDFARCE] Knowing Aleth, it's certainly for some ridiculous, selfish reason, like preserving his body for vivisection. >Try to ask our employees if any of them have a lighter, in case this "parley" ever happens.PM - Facility 555ACE DANDY: Just for the record, does anyone have a light?ACE DANDY: We might need a fire source in the event of suppression.BB: Sure? D: Ignition's still kicking on this baby.C: You may use my flamethrower if it so pleases you, sir.D: HOLY SHITEquipped:- Zippo lighter (BB)- Makeshift flamethrower (C)- Magic trick gauntlet (D)- Cheap lighter (D)>Employee A to guard the facility this hourPM - Employee AACE DANDY: Aleth, you're up for guard duty for this hour.A: If I must.PM - Employee CACE DANDY: Anything to report, Chardy?C: I saw a few dark figures in the distance, but they did not approach the facility. C: One such figure waved to me. His group must now be aware of our activities here.C: Nothing else transpired.ACE DANDY: Cool, thanks.
The Work Order on The Egg of Human Endeavors is complete.Assigned: Employee DType: EntertainWork Result: GoodE-Energy Generated: +6/∞Anomaly Mood: GoodEmployee Morale: Neutral -> Pleased as punchEmployee Aspect Revealed:Employee D - Curious (Entertain+, COOL+)Work Notes - Employee D:- I said sorry to Frank about causing that whole work order. Sorry.- I don't want to say all the good parts of it (saving the juicy bits of the gossip for the others), but here's something interesting: the big bonnets at M Company were pretty interested in the Worm Factory's stock, "a woman with an M cap" is a recurring visitor. Here's something else weird: a robot came in and asked about worm application in prosthetics for some fucking reason??? The egg didn't know either, even when I asked a bunch of questions. There was also a project for fucking psychic powers too???- It's all second-hand information so keep it in mind.- Hey, when am I gonna get to talk to this guy again? He knows his stuff.Work Notes - Employee F:- I talked to Employee D after the work order. I don't think she was listening at all. It was very disappointing.- Manager, I would advise you keep a close eye on repeated employee interactions with the egg. We still do not quite understand its capabilities to the fullest extent, or its intentions. Maintain discretion.The Work Order on The Knight of Pen and Paper is complete.Assigned: Employee BBType: EnableWork Result: GoodE-Energy Generated: +10 (15/???)Anomaly Mood: Wary -> NeutralEmployee Morale: Neutral -> NervousEmployee Aspect Revealed:Employee BB - Incongruity (All Stats Up! All Stats Down...)Work Notes - Employee BB:- I think it's a classic "Knight and Lady" story line here like in the old myths and legends of times before us. Kind of cute too.- This knight is a bit stranger though. More vicious and not quite as chivalrous as I thought.- Do I say things out loud which are strange? Is it strange to narrate things? I hope you guys don't think I'm weird.The Work Order on TOMORROW GIRAFFE is complete.Assigned: Employee FType: DepriveWork Result: NeutralE-Energy Generated: +5 (10/100)Anomaly Mood: CalmEmployee Morale: NeutralEmployee Aspect Revealed:Employee F - By the Books (COOL++, Mental Protection-, PARADIGM Hint+)... gazing... Employee F - Drone (Worker) (Entertain-, VIOLENCE-, COOL-, Morale cannot reach 0 and increases through working, very unlikely to disobey orders) Work Notes - Employee F:- So far the anomaly has neutral responses to most forms of interaction, and a stronger reaction to visual changes in the environment. Perhaps creating an *interesting* image would give more energy?- Most animals usually react to a negative stimulus. Normal responses would be hissing, fleeing, screaming, fighting back, and so on. It *is* a giraffe, but *what* are giraffes?
[GRANDFARCE] Frank's a Drone, huh? Well, you did kind of call it.But it doesn't count if you don't say it out loud. That's the rub of calling it, you have to be absolutely sure of it. Otherwise, it doesn't count. You gotta be confident in the future and in your own understanding to call it. That's a cool shit move, man.[GRANDFARCE] But you actually kinda did call it. More recently.Yeah, fuck it, it's going in as a win in your book. You're not snatching defeat from the hands of victory so easily.Hour 2, Shift 2Quota: 0/8 PRODUCTCollected E-Energy: 37 PacketsE-Energy Generated/Hour: 0Collected PRODUCT: 0 BoxesAnomaly and Oddity Work Orders [1 Hour]>The Egg of Human Endeavors>TOMORROW GIRAFFE>The Knight of Pen and Paper>Production Room>Television Set- Employees BB, C, D, E, and F are available.- A is guarding the outer facility.Miscellaneous Works [Variable]>Make an intercom announcement, send a PDA message, etc. (What do you want to say?)>Host an interview with an employee. (Who?)>Investigate something? (What?)>Write in.One of the elevators dings as it's called down towards a lower level. Hmmm?Finals are almost over. Had some free time in between. Also, changed GUY's Carefree to COOL+ rather than M. Prot+.
>>5659144When is the elevator going to come up to our level? This hour or start of next hour? Just a notice before I write a suppression plan
>>5659144>Employee C, Foster the Knight of Pen and Paper. See what kind of food stuffs this thing would prefer.>Employee E, Deprive the EGG of Human Endevaors. Just go in there and look like you're busy doing something else. Don't acknowledge it.>Employee BB, Entertain Tomorrow Giraffee. Pretend like you're filming an interview with it for an an audience.>MiscHeadpat the drone for a job well done. She tried.
>>56592481. Assume everything runs on Company Time.2. You should write the plan now before you're caught with pants down.
>>5659412OK>>5659144Backing >>5659339 but I also want>Notify the facility about the elevator operating, and we don't know who's doing it. Everybody should stand by and prepare for potential battle immediately once their works conclude. Whoever has the worst moves for beatdowns should take guard outside as watch, in case that waving mystery group crashes our party in the most unfun and unstylish way possible.
>>5659828I have an idea>Put together a bit of cover for a person to hide behind angled to the side of the elevator. Have them equip the flamethrower and roast the second we see what's behind the doors. Then we have front lines run in and beat on it.
>>5659948Solid plan. I had the idea to just have our guys all hide in the blind spot corners next to the elevator door too, but I didn't write it out. Backing your idea
>>5659952I'm busy but I need you to decide who to put there.
>>5659952>>5659968None of them are particularly great at fighting sans the Agent and BB (assuming this calls for the VIOLENCE stat). So it would probably just go: >Employee C, shock them with the flamethrower >Everyone who isn't injured, beat the shit out of them with whatever you can. Bonus points if you use buckets.
>>5666047I think exams shot straight through the Heart's Heart