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/qst/ - Quests


You are fan, the big valor boy of these hot parts. You law down the fucking law, you’re like a garbage man, uh huh. You’re power tripping big guy and you ride high on the fact that you can turn some scoon into Pastrami and make his fat family turn his likeness into a t shirt with a simple flick of your epic caucosoid fingers.

You get a little silly from time to time. It’s holla core.

Jak stands to your left that nigga’s a bit chain genius and resident internet boy to your valor boy

Together you are

Yeeng and yanng
Opposites attracting
Together you do shit thou could never dream of apart.
Comprendehende?
Adventar and time.

Your clean up the trash of this fucking city big guy. Everyone is scum in this land, the land of oh. It’s crazy. It’s like that one part of sin city with yellow bastard in it but that’s just life for people every day, there’s no break from it.

Also there’s a whole cast of wacky characters and they’re driving you up the wall. Good thing you have means of destruction k

Now go meet someone
But just one

>Marmelade
This little lady makes your toes curl and your heart go a twitter WOWZA. Her goth vampire aesthetic makes you google the fragility of hot topic mall doors because you just want to break apart that sweet little treat and get to the cheesy center inside you know what I’m sayin haha


>Ice Craig
Stupid faggot no one likes. You don’t like him. You’re everyone. Also junkle’s hackles raise when the blue nigger gets aprocheth
>>
>>5729109
>Marmelade
Utterly deranged
>>
visit the craig and beat him up
>>
>>5729109
>>Marmelade
im gonna marmelade on her marmelade
>>
>Marmelade
>>
Oh yeah fucking marblebeeb
That’s the spice, the RESIDENT SLAMPIG

You bring your body to “big-size” just thinking about that pale skinned vexen fills you with the urge to dominate and impregnate. In a PG 13 Context of course. This is the Cartoon Network, no gash will be filled.

You will turn this parking lot cigarette counting, tiktok making, lesbian freak into one of Christ’s own trad wives

Alas That be what the scripture says

But you do want to knit crochet with this goofy bitch ’

Nonetheless you arise
One of god’s own soldiers
You are a MAN
a perfect ectomorph chad with Hunter eyes, you’re going woo this pierced daddy hating wacko and get some goth slit.

You stand like a big giant and start sprinting towards her house
>>
But this white oppressor ain’t anywhere

You’re going to have to do your iconic Finnish scream to make the girlies come a crawling
>>
BIIIIIIITCH
COME OUT
COME OUT OR IM GOING TO KILL MYSELF
IM IN A REALLY BAD PLACE AND IM LIKEN TO DO SOME THINGS
IM LIKE THE BJORK STALKER COME OUT COME OUT COME OUT
>>
Oh there she is.
She’s taking a concrete nap.
Should you leave her to it?
But man bubba it stinks, jacket would dog vomit at this miserable wench had you not left him in the dust to get that vampiric goodness.

do you dare interrupt her eternal barrel sleep?

>Fuck no back to the house

>Yes, free my mistress from her Japanese coffin

>I can love her this way. I am an open minded lad

>I’m going to release my anger on ice craig
>>
>>5729331
>I’m going to release my anger on ice craig
Her fucking adoptive father will answer for this
>>
>>5729331
>I’m going to release my anger on ice craig
I fucking love beating up pensioners
>>
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT
Your one chance at getting some freckled cellulite ass and pierced poon tang on this whore of an earth just went up in smoke

you did everything you were supposed to it’s not fair

“ I-I am true cel” you say

This is all ice Craig’s fault

That fucking wastrel will pay in blood for his sins.

You jump and your big knees pop a plenty as you do

you bolt it through the air until you get to ice craig palace

There’s the blue race traitor now
You guys lock eyes together
What nefarious snake tongue will leave his fetid mouth, the fucking slime

You tense your little hands up, you’re fuming right now
>>
Do you guys listen to System of a Down?
>>
THAT IS IT ICE CRAIG
I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT DUDE
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
YOU ARE DRIVING ME UP THE FUCKING WALL AND IM NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE
ALL YOU DO IS ENFORCE YOUR STUPID BULLSHIT ON PEOPLE
YOU HAVE TO LET PEOPLE MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICES
THE WORLD IS FUCKED BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE YOU
YOU HAVE TO CHANGE
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
AND I HAVE HAD IT

IVE REACHED MY FUCKING LIMIT ICE CRAIG I HAVE REACHED MY FUCKING LIMIT
>>
WHAT HAPPENS TO ICE CRAIG
>>
>>5729432
go aggro crag on ice craig
>>
YOU SALTLESS LITTLE PIG
YOU ARE A TYRANT
YOU ARE GARBAGE
YOU MAKE ME SICK
YOUR TIME IS OVER OLD MAN
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR SHENANIGINGS

I AM GOING TO REND YOU LIMB FROM LIMB

THIS IS REAL AND GRITTY AND IT MEANS SOMETHING TO ME

YOU FUCKING COCKAROACH

You knock the living shit out of the power cuck ice craig, Jaque dog goes full shitbull and clamps down on his torso with the combined mega hurtz bite force of three gorillion shitbulls
>>
Fain

It’s me Ice Craig, the character

This won’t bring Marjory Grease back

Stop this madness please
>>
>>5729490
fuhuhuhuhuh

suck my fucking dick dude
>>
RUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHH
>>
HHHHH
STOP BEING FUCKING MEAN TO PEOPLE DUDE I AM SERIOUSLY AT MY FUCKING LIMIT APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW AND LET YOUR VICTIMS, LIKE ME, LIVE THEIR LIFE

FINAL WARNING CHUCKLE FUCK

THIS IS GRITTY AND REAL AND MY FEELINGS WILL BE VALIDATED
>>
:)
>>
You showed that power bottom the law of the land, flag. Another W to your blockchain portfolio. God you just want to buy tinder premium or whatever the fuck it’s called and show those belligerent nepo babies who the real cock of the walk is, killing people is like poppers but for the gland in your brain that was a spartan in a past life instead of your asshole.

Ooh wee that sure was an adventurous time

You got a bit of a tummy ache and brother you are sweating something fierce, the bad guy dies and everything you have ever done was justified. It’s like war. It’s not about loss of life for an industrialized death machine but about cool army guys and stuff.

You’re a cool army guy, Fran. The coolest. And this was your Vietnam. Except you just won it.

Blue ice guy is a red water guy now. Ironic it’s like a poem you read back in Munich, elementary.

You Reddit giggle all the way back to the quad as Joker the dog wags his epic tail.

Another adventure quashed. What’s next you hyperborean metrosexual devil? There’s a lot of choices it’s metriod core in many ways, but instead of a n64 polygonal rip of a naked Samus it’s just some aspergic chimpanzee in a little ambiguously cal arts designed bear hat with his absolutely rawr pilled yellow dog. Haha bacon pancakes! That one. You do so love his antics.


>Ransack ice Craig’s place
>Resurrect ice craig it’s for your arc

>Return to little miss Marcellus Weed
>Go home

>Call up one your homies
>Visit candy land

>write in
>>
>>5729504
>>Resurrect ice craig it’s for your arc
>Visit candy land
>>
>>5729504
>>Resurrect ice craig it’s for your arc
>Return to little miss Marcellus Weed

This quest reads like a stressful hazy fever dream and somehow it's very enjoyable
>>
>>5729504

>Ransack ice Craig’s place
>>
>>5729504
>>Call up one your homies
>>
>>5729504
>ransack
>return to marcellus
>>
>>5729504
>Resurrect ice craig it’s for your arc
>>Return to little miss Marcellus Weed
>Call up one your homies
>>
>>5729504
>Resurrect ice craig it’s for your arc
>Return to little miss Marcellus Weed
>Call up one your homies
This has got to be the quest I've ever read
>>
You wait 3 dang days and 3 darn nights for this Siberian brap hog to come back to life one of those Brazilian cockroaches with the crazy wingspans that actually are allowed to fly just because of their significant size to every other cockroach and the only thing limiting other cockroach flight is their small stature and lack of aerodynamicability. God you do enjoy how the beaners squeal at those magnificent brown rockets. All you want is an angry fat Latina to reach her hoggish hands into every aspect of your life, drive up your credit score, and make you feel miserable enough to pop a xannie cranberry malt cocktail that gets you so skizzered you paint your hot little brains out all over the Baltimore payment. Is that all it takes to get a biches attention. Some LA RONA from your iPod to make those fresh out of the river border jumping sand rock cuties swoon? The commoditization of modern day relationships makes you feel Travis bikcle core. Every day is another taxi driver for you

It’s all very nietzche core

krinkle the cold comes back from his extended diet nap. You have no regret. He has spent many a episode maturing wit h his robust dyke pals singing ukulele covers. He’s so serialized and smart and educated that you want to shake the hand of a great man and feel his calluses.

Maybe now he won’t be so much of a fucking asshole and he learns his actions have consequences.

You dap him up and play a little bookie with his stigmata by sticking your index finger through the loop and shaking it around a little bit

It’s cash as hell

And blue nigga loves it.

You hug him and embrace. He’s your ride or die. You had to bring him back because he’s just so commercially relevant and viable.

He’s far more reliable than jackanape, you’re stupid fucking dog. Someone should feed him grape skins until he shakes UNTIL HE SHAKES

Ice creed is way more of an irresistible slam piece than junko. But that’s because junko’s a canine eucalyptus dog pitbull. And that is morally unacceptable. But gargle genes the vampire would definitely take a sip of that pudding. For she is a socially repugnant female. Do you get it? Ho Ho

THAT BITCH THAT FUCKING BITCH
I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU

The trend hopping white jezabel, hee “neurodivergence” makes you want to go full Richard Ramirez , but you will literally cut her head off no dip. But you still love her tee hee
>>
>>5729979
who are you and what did you do to pendleton ward
>>
Hey icecicle gimp
Im stealing your shit dude

You plummet ice Craig’s crucifix back into the tomb he sashayed out of, the fruit. He’s not even cool gay he’s studio 54 aids crisis Elton John mike pence gay.

But he’ll just be there for a little bit.
You gotta go take his shit first. You got a ton of other shit to do too because you get a little over ambitious sometimes, the tummy ache pills Jelatin feeds you do wonders for your productivity.
>>
>>5729982
I am pen I am pen I am pen I am pen
I’m this beautiful growing thing and I made a simple mistake for which I apologize art is my growing dream for I am a man child of art, I founded my animation studio in my parents garage and they have been nothing supportive.

Listen to me. I implore you.
I know nothing I have seen nothing
I am but a humble servant and a patron of the arts
Much like Shakespeare before me
Like Diogenes

I know I have my faults

I am white, I am a fucking bum
I do live in a trailer with my mom
My boy Future is an Uncle Tom
I do got a dumb friend named Cheddar Bob
Who shoots himself in his leg with his own gun
I did get jumped by all six of you chumps
And Wink did fuck my girl
But i am still standing here screaming fuck the free world

But let me improve let me live let me run and play
>>
Ice Craig’s house is so fucking rad
Deadpoo l letterman jacket
It’s like Molly but for clothes
This is all so slizzard you feel like the bell of the ball right now.
You want his game cube games

You can hear the juice wrld nightcore remixes blasting from a triple monitor setup down the hall

judging by the smell of four week old Arbie’s and rotten chowder it can only be the sweet savory aromas of a goon cave.

Hook line and sinker for every little stinker
What a delicious treat.

The kingdom hearts light switch coverings confirm your suspicions.
You leave the living room and approach the goon cave
>>
you run into the goon cave and start swiping plastic pieces of useless horse piss like it’s Katrina and you are “prepping” if you catch muh muh my drift. You feel like such bad boy
You skip into the goon cave and begin looting all of ice Craig’s shit. His funkos are forfeit. You’re such a enbie goddess that you don’t even spare the brood of silk worms festering beneath his deku postersDuh duh deku

Fucking amaze balls you say you love anime and squish mellows and product. You know for a truth that girls who own these objects have sand like grit skin, goose bumped hides, straw hair and pussy that smells like fish.

Pee ew haha
You use code hero to get a discount of free as you swipe more of this little fish’s hot deets.

You feel like Caligula
You grab all sorts of red bubble stickers it’s so amazeballs
They substitute your entire belief system

Time to call up on your homies now that the masterwork is complete ted

Dial dial brr brr
Ummmmm who is it? Hee hee
You say with a cheekily little grin as you buck your booties around, you charming little rascal. I’ll see you dead.

The dial is coming from in there house
What a sick little twist
You hear three big knocks on the door
Your homie is knocking on the door
He was here all along
But he ain’t talking
He’s been. A wiz a wise guy every since he remembered and now he’s about to talk to the boss
>>
DAVID DUKE!!??

“Yes franbow, it’s me. David duke. And we gotta lick split banana out of this joint. That blue fucktoy downie lied to you, everything can be fixed and okay it’s all okay everything’s going to be okay. Nothing is forever it is just a temporary lapse in emotion I am like Spock I am like Gandalf I am like the wolf of Wall Street

We gotta get Marlboro Green back! She can still live! She can pop that hot little queefbox to and fro and I’ll be here for it, Fran. But I wouldn’t come up on your block and steal that hottie, yet I can still appreciate her beauty from a distance

I wouldn’t muscle up on you like that dog

Now let’s go get her. I’ll try to stay back. Because I’m that gorilla dick baby I make tight pussy wet and the ladies start buckling when they see me comprende

I can turn her ovaries into a hot soup pally”

Wow. David Duke
You gotta get back to miraculous leaf A$AP
>>
You and your fat family make it back to her barrel

She’s still giving you the mixed cement shoulder

You lean up to the barrel and press your big head close and make your plea. This one’s from the heart.

Haha baaaaay-bee. Princesssss. Let me in. Let me in. I wanna pry you out of that mean Ol barrel so we can go listen to ironmaiden and stuff, okay. We can go deathgrips baby. We do anything you want. The world is your oyster me amiga. Just shake that mean old concrete off and come say hi to all my daffy fucking pals right now dude. My patience is really thin right now after all this fucking Craig stuff and I am not into it. It’s really wearing off. And I know you probably got butterflies in your tummy but stop being so selfish and realize that the whole worlds got those critters. It’s okay to be nervy. I can’t make ‘em go away but I can at least put them into formation and make those bugs fly all cool. Do little figure 8’s like top gun. Or ice skating. Come on. Just come out I’m not even playing right now. Just come on out of that mean old Japanese sarcophagus and let’s hang out. David fucking duke’s here and you’re embarrassing me right now

She ain’t budging

What do

>fuck it. Candy land.


>give the dog some fucking dialogue

>ice craig adventure just you and him fuck all this

>give her to David

>shake her loose

>leave her alone and find greener pastures

>woo her with song

>woo her with words

>write in
>>
>>5730059
>>woo her with song
>give the dog some fucking dialogue
duet
>>
>>5730059
To hell yeah, duet with Jack, duet with Jack!
>>
>>5730059
>duet with Jack!
>>
>>5730059
>Duet with Jack
>>
>>5730059
>duet with jack
we gotta howl like hound dogs for that goth snatch
>>
>>5730059
>give the dog some fucking dialogue
This is awesome.
>>
Where are you, Penny?
>>
>>5730065
+1
>>
http://thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2023/5729109/
A thread like this deserves to be remembered.
>>
i wish there where more adventure time quests even if they are like this i am getting nostalgia for mayo wizard



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