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Previous thread:
https://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/2023/5685111/

Warning:
Madoka Magica spoilers. Do NOT read any of this if you haven't watched the original anime series. If little girls in frilly suits shooting pink lasers give you cringe, fucking swallow it and watch it anyway.

INTRO (don’t skip this)

◕ Meguca Royale follows Hugo 'Hugh Laurie' Lautaro, a mexican man resembling Dr. House who attained the power to turn real persons into cute 2D anime girls after Batman himself tried to fuck his armpit, stating: "I will fuck your armpit. I am the night". Constantly facing moral dilemmas as to how to use his power for good, Hugo fights the secret organization 'Microsoft' and its kryptonite-powered android grandmothers. With the help of Mr. Rabbit, a rabbit in a little suit who bankrupts companies through crypto schemes, and your mother, he will save the world.

◕ The update format this quest will follow is ‘sporadic, retardedly huge multiple gigaposts’. This has been proven by time. Despite capitalism, this quest will not follow a fixed schedule. Yet, If any of my players are late to the party and can’t post on time I’ll make room. I swear that this time I'll try for smaller updates for real.

◕ 'Nigga it has been almost A YEAR, a aint reading all dat shit':
-Five Magical Girls,
Emma, who is nice and has panic attacks,
Rita, who is very funny but seclusive,
Jimena, who hardly ever gives a fuck,
Erika, who is Mengele dressed like Hitler,
and Lucinda,
wake up one day to find that their minds are linked together and that they can read each other's thoughts, at least the superficial ones.
-Additionally, the entire city of Buenos Aires, where they fight for their sustenance as Magical Girls, gets suddenly flooded by flying wooden Toys of many types looking to possess them, and a gigantic Violet Tower has spawned at the center of Buenos Aires.
-Buenos Aires's (Capital) three factions of Magical Girls are forced to endure together inside the Tower, which is the only place safe from the Toys.
-The Order of the End, a worldwide faction that seeks to end the existence of Magical Girls on this planet, is the one behind the attacks. They want to destroy all Incubators, the white cats or whatever that turns little girls into megucas.
-The Blue Gates, a nearly-extinct faction, is instead turning prospect Magical Girls into human Incubators.

◕ In the previous thread:
Ƹ>: Helen, who had her broken powers sealed, has accepted to become a Coordinator.
凸 & ರೃ: Lucinda Newhorn, dreaded prodigy, and Rita Hammerhead, who once tried to adopt a bat she found in a trashcan, have finally found the Witch.
ᕙ & ■-■: Jimena Gimenez and Erika Kruppman, after attempting to assassinate Hush, Faction Leader of the Order of the End, ended up captured.
▲: And Emma Imeredala has an actual, successful date with her SISTER- who turns out to be just another Crow Knight of the Order of the End.

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STUFF (you can skip this)

◕ We used like a 10% of the mechanics LAWL

◕ Random Events aren't coming back. Ever. Fucking Ever.

◕ Setting a few realistic expectations: I am not a native english speaker. However, now I finally have time. I found a job as a college teacher which pays me with hugs and lemons, but that's enough to pay rent for the box I sleep on so fuck yeah motherfucker, some peace and quiet.

◕ The format we are going to follow this time is: turns. I post for one guca, /then/ for another, /then/ for another whenever I have the time.

◕ We won't be taking any new players unless any other drops or gets killed. The same players have stuck with this for like a year already but hey, now you've got two fighting a Witch- who knows?

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◕ A few notes on narrative: Players are the consciousness of their character. Me, on the other hand, am the african american magical lamp peddler in charge of the /subconscious/ of the characters. This means that if for some reason you say ‘fuck it’ and decide to go full yuri menhera on an npc your character /will/ have to roll against the fear of being rejected before even walking up to the girl it likes like she’s about to shit itself on the spot. Unless it’s Lucinda.
After some consideration, I've decided that I find pretty endearing when you guys use character voice/first person, so fuck it, just go crazy. That being said, try not to build on top of the assumption that things are going to happen like you think they will: face everything as if poking strange, alien machinery. Red-eyed.
To keep with tradition, I'll use "Punching Jimena in the face" to illustrate my point: don't assume that she won't bend her face sideways to avoid it.

◕ FAQ:
Q: It had been almost two months again.
A: Jimenanon said it was gonna open thread itself after a month and I thought it would have been fun to fuck with it. Also, I wanted a legit excuse to be spared the fonts. Sad.

Q: What happens if a player drops because life/got bored/etc?
A: The character they were playing becomes an NPC until they come back if they ever do. Six players is a lot and keeping track of all that happens is a hassle sometimes, so it happens.

Q: Yuri?
A: Yes. Menheras fucking? Not on this quest. It happens, its human, its ok, and it is implied- but this isn't a smut quest.

Q: It has been A SINGLE DAY after the end of chapter 0.
A: Actually, not even a full hour of IRL time has elapsed- and that's ok. You can spend your whole life in a cubicle and it will feel like a single day, or you can fight a kangaroo for your life and every second will feel like an hour. If anything, this illustrates just how intense the life of your average meguca truly is.

Q: The Soul Gem tainting mechanics were intended for days. Can Soul Gems still end up black? How are we going to account for these mechanics?
A: Easy, we roll Mind when a traumatic event happens. That being said, this is a good point- I'm kinda in the air about that one lawl.

Q: Why is bigguca the intro instead of the outro?
A: cause i didn't make it last time

Q: I've been watching a lot of nekomimi. Is it ok if I want my cat to play with my dick?
A: no senpai. It really isn't.

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aight thread open, now we wait for niggucas and go from there. last time we had no emmanon posts for like two weeks so i kinda wanna who shows up before choosing tracks. but whateva

thread open! :D

>>5765175
*surprised screaming*
>>5765186
>▲: And Emma Imeredala has an actual, successful date with her SISTER- who turns out to be just another Crow Knight of the Order of the End.
Oi oi oi mate, you got a loicense for these here insinuations?
You pulled out the Katawa Shoujo OST, I did no such thing!

>>5765193
>However, now I finally have time. I found a job as a college teacher which pays me with hugs and lemons, but that's enough to pay rent for the box I sleep on so fuck yeah motherfucker, some peace and quiet.

All joking aside this is excellent news and I'm non-ironically very happy for you. Job stability is underrated, even a pretty mediocre job. Though I may be biased as I'm currently in the throes of job-seeking myself. So once again, my participation shall be fleeting. Which is probably a good thing considering that Emma got more than her catch-up share of posts last thread! Leave the other girls to be gay too, damn it!

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>>5765175
My fellow RITARDS: WE. ARE. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! Nearly spit my coffee all over the monitor when I saw this pop up on the catalog! Glad to have you back, man!

>>5765186
>Who once tried to adopt a bat she found in a trashcan
Ah, good old Bats Maru. He liked to bite.

>>5765193
Congrats on the stable job, too--I was worried when you went radio silent for a while and thought shit got rough. Glad you're doing better and hope the job works out!

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>>5765200
Ah fuck, I missed my window. Well, you can have my OP pic anyways

Time to be a raging schizo. Helen still a classic quest mc and anyone can drop in to control her?

>>5765175
Just in time for Walpurgischan's movie, you love to see it.

Also, congratulation for the teacher's job QM.

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The chatter in the classroom drowned every thought. Since she made her contract with Kyubey a month ago, Lucinda Newhorn would sit alone at her antique cast-iron and mahogany desk, the furthest from the entrance, elegant and identical to all the others. Frozen in time, she’s looking out the window, legs crossed. If ‘better’ was more than a buzzword it would fit only her- and so, like a rift in the ocean, that stark contrast is quick to suck in attention.

Black Male Student: Yo. Hey, yo.

Lucinda doesn’t turn to address him. Ignoring others has often worked in driving them away- but not everyone picks the message.

Black Male Student: Hey. Hey.

The moment the boy places his sweaty hand on Lucinda's naked shoulder he’s met with the same quiet stare a lioness gave his great-great-great grandfather before ripping his throat to shreds. The hand goes away.

Lucinda: I’m not interested.

Black Male Student: Damn bitch, chill. I didn’t even talk yet.

‘Bitch’. He may have said it casually- but when you throw a mint in cola instead of anywhere else it draws a reaction. Context matters, and soon that dense chatter is losing air like a cheap balloon- just like the boy’s face, growing whiter by the second.

Black Male Student: I’m sorry. I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.

Lucinda’s lioness eyes scan around; the damage has already been done. The students are looking her way. Some even approach; all dressed in tidy uniforms, all wearing bright scarlet ties under their sleek dark green coats.

Unlike her, in the casual, checkered armless blue blouse and skirt.

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A bright bumpy jumpy ginger girl is quick to jump in-

Ginger Girl Student: Hey, Luci! Are you going to be in the group picture like that? You’ll stand out so much!

-only to be met with the stillest of stares.

Lucinda: I’m not going to be in it.

Ginger Girl Student: Whaaaat? Why not?

Lucinda: I don’t want to.

Ginger Girl Student: But why?

Lucinda simply shrugs and looks out the window again. Ignoring people often drives them away. Then someone knocks on her shoulder- and again, Lucinda turns- a bit slower than last time. This time, she’s addressing a short, stern-looking asian girl. Her father is an oil tycoon who bets heavily on spanish-style bullfights and fucks teenage boys.

Asian Girl Student: You have to take it. You are part of this class too.

Lucinda: Whoever touches me again will wake up at the infirmary.

Black Male Student: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAYUUMMM

Some laugh and some screech. Some don’t. Lucinda’s soft threat, delivered with a deadpan voice, weighs in the air. Her eyes don’t falter; her dainty hands don’t shake.

Asian Girl Student: You have to take that photo with us. It’s the annual photo and we all have to be there. And you have to wear your uniform.

Lucinda: It’s non-mandatory.

Asian Girl Student: The photo or the uniform?

Lucinda: Neither, and neither is talking.

Ginger Girl Student: This isn’t about the rules! You don’t talk to us anymore! You don’t even wear our uniform!

Lucinda: That would be my problem. Not yours.

More of the students surround her. The chattering restarts. The serene blonde of cold cheeks gives up on looking out the window. The more they are, the braver they get- the louder they whisper.

???: What’s her problem?

???: The fuck she thinks she is?

???: Bitch thinks she’s hot shit because she has big tits.

Every one of them had talked shit about her and then talked shit about their friends to her. They would buy her gifts, expensive gifts, gifts Lucinda learned to reject after they kept asking for her attention in return- gifts she always gave back.

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Finally, a voice rises above the vulgar chatter, the voice of a tall, young man:

Black Hair Tall Self-Insert Male VN Protagonist Student: Lucinda, don’t be dense. We are worried sick about you. Shutting down is not the way out. Swallow your pride and reach out to your friends.

Instead of swallowing her pride and reaching out to her friends, Lucinda Newhorn simply blinks.

Lucinda: I have never thought of any of you as a friend. I have no interest in being friends with any of you, and I have the choice not to. If we did talk at some point, it was so I wouldn’t end up being bullied like Abraham. Leave me in peace.

Who is also amidst the crowd, just another teenager with a greasy fat face and perfect clothes, shrinking at the shift in attention, as the ginger girl goes pale. The tall student, his face now slightly red instead, turns to him.

Black Hair Tall Self-Insert Male VN Protagonist Student: Do we bully you, Abraham? Are we pieces of shit? You can tell us.

Abraham: N-no, no, John.

Black Hair Tall Self-Insert Male VN Protagonist Student: See? We don’t bully him. This is just how guys treat each other.

He rests his arm on the frightened boy’s shoulder. Lucinda looks straight at that greasy, nervous face with her inquisitive, dead blue eyes- and that face sinks into the head behind it- and she shrugs again. Then Lucinda uncrosses her legs and stands, missing no manner as she puts on her red and black satchel, her long golden hair flowing behind her back as she meets the rest of the class with all of her almost comical beauty at once. As usual, eyes widened. More than half the school had already tried to approach her, girls included, teachers included; then the fame of her coldness grew so much that it had transcended the school. Conquering had become a widespread competition; even a politician was met with the same cold wall of disgust.

She isn’t even legal yet.

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Lucinda: I’m not taking part in the group picture. I’m going home.

Asian Girl Student (frowning her eyes even further): We are halfway through the first recess.

Lucinda: I’ll call in sick.

Black Male Student: Sick of us?

Lucinda doesn’t answer- but the ginger girl gets in her way.

Lucinda: Excuse me.

And stays in her way.

Ginger Girl Student: What the fuck is your problem? Are we not good enough for you? Is that it?

Lucinda: You are restraining my freedom. Move away or I’ll harm you in self-defense. I'm not attacking anyone.

And she didn’t even raise her voice. After all, they’ve all seen what has been happening to Lucinda’s pretenders as of last month- one ended up with hearing aids. Yet the ginger girl still stands her ground. Crying.

Ginger Girl Student: N-no. We aren’t shit for you to step on. You are a person like any of us, not better, not worse. Say you are sorry!

Lucinda: Why the fuck are you crying?

It's as if no wall stood between them and the cold, as if a cold wind had stolen the mumbling away. Lucinda’s eyes are, as usual, dead, cold, and inquisitive, fixed on those of the ginger girl, reflected on each of her tears.

Lucinda: Tell me why you are crying or I’ll end up in jail and you’ll end up in a hospital.

And even so, shrieking, shaking, the ginger girl opens her mouth to retort only to be tackled aside and then dragged away by two of her friends. Indifferent, the blonde sees her go; she walks through the encircling students with the floaty steps ingrained into her through endless lessons in ballet, all in sweet, perfect silence-

until someone grabs her arm.

Black Hair Tall Self-Insert Male VN Protagonist Student: Yo-

The tall, young man who grabbed her finds himself spinning in the air, but perhaps he’ll never know that his chin held the full weight of his body for half a second as he was pile-bunked onto the bright marble tiles below. As the shrill screams of both boys and girls fill the room, as the new Magical Girl gets called ‘psycho’ and ‘bitch’ left and right, Lucinda simply leaves the classroom and closes the door behind her because leaving the door open is bad manners.

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ರೃ Lucinda Newhorn ರೃ
Age: 16
Personality Type: ESTJ
-Impulsive. Would rather do than think.
-Efficient and disciplined to the extreme, yet almost entirely unaware of the meaning behind objects and actions.
-Good with concrete facts and data, bad with abstractions.

Profile:
Sadly enough, it doesn't take too many brain cells to figure out that we all are slaves in one giant prison. If you don't work, you don't eat; if you don't eat, you die. If you don't work, you die- and Lucinda Newhorn pieced this together much faster than most. The reality of the bigger picture was made all the more apparent by the smaller picture she was made to fit into: overly conservative parents, an almost rich family, traditions, studies, serious dinners, studies, piano classes, studies, forced friendships with kids from select families, studies-
That one time she got yelled at for coming back home laughing after slipping into mud made it perfectly clear that her family wanted to be "Respected". Which she found endlessly amusing when she found out one of her classmates, an actually very rich girl, picking her nose in the middle of class.

Physical Appearance: Complex, long blonde hair done in a sidebang, held in place by a blue ribbon hanging under her right ear. Bright blue eyes. Slender, curved body that matches all common aesthetic standards; model-tier beauty that sets her far apart from most other girls. Inquisitive dead stare. Never smiles.

Core Belief: Freedom will make her happy.

Magical Trait: Unable to care about external opinions, even when those come from within. This makes her impossible to influence unless solid evidence is presented.

Magical Power: Freedom. She can temporarily ignore aspects of reality currently affecting her. Has no transitive properties. The only way to be free from this world is to not let it affect you. However, the world is also where you rest your feet, what keeps you standing, so becoming free from it and going to live in the wild may be dangerous.
This power has a major caveat: it physically wounds her whenever she stops using it. The longer she stays, the more it will hurt.

Interests:
+++Freedom
++Feelings
+Control
+Perfection
+Silence
-------Other People

Stats:
£ Physical Affinity: 7
λ Magical Affinity: 7
彡 Dexterity: 4
メ Perception: 4
⸫ Wisdom: 1
π Intelligence: 3
ღ Charisma: 1
φ Mind: 4
Ω Constitution: 7

Wish: "Freedom."

Wanna know more? https://pastebin.com/sdLC6BS0

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aight so here's the honest itinerary
-lucinda
-lucinda
-lucinda
-a fuckton of lucinda
and then:
-more lucinda but with rita
-and then more ritalinda

there you go. half this thread may end up being lucinda depending on how stuff goes on my end, but come rain or hellfire we will end up wrap up this witch laberynth first and foremost- after some bigguca

>>5765201
>You pulled out the Katawa Shoujo OST
i will be using this expression constantly

>I did no such thing!
this is why i never tell people to 'do what you want'. now we know what lurks in the heart of an overly repressed maiden with a strong woman as a fatherly figure

>All joking aside this is excellent news and I'm non-ironically very happy for you. Job stability is underrated, even a pretty mediocre job.
thanks! i wasn't finding the middle ground between having a soul-crushing corporate job and being a hobo, i don't want to live stressed even if I end up a millonaire at sixty years old. besides, not forgetting how to talk to people is also nice.

>Though I may be biased as I'm currently in the throes of job-seeking myself. So once again, my participation shall be fleeting.
honest to goodness wishing you the best with that, emmanon. you focus on that, i'll drop you a vote every now and then and you can pick up from where you left off. also yeah, i may or may have not gone bananas with emma last thread

>Leave the other girls to be gay too, damn it!
THE CONTRACT IS COMPLETE

>>5765216
we all RITARDS here. good to be back

>Congrats on the stable job, too--I was worried when you went radio silent for a while and thought shit got rough.
thanks dude! it had gotten rough, but that was because I kept getting greedy and pushing shit jobs away. now i think having stability is also a worthy boon, having to worry all the time about getting fired sucks ass

>>5765229
motherfucker that could have been the OP pic, why didn't you post sooner? im not doing font anyway LAWL

>>5765257
>Time to be a raging schizo.
welcome to Meguca Royale

>Helen still a classic quest mc and anyone can drop in to control her?
yes, but your voice has priority. Helen is easily influenced by others, but unless you have two or more votes piled up against yours Helen will do what you say. i mean, she's 8. i too did what mom said

>>5765330
>Just in time for Walpurgischan's movie, you love to see it.
i'm praying every night for them to NOT fuck this one up, please, PLEASE don't fuck it up, oh god PLEASE
not to say Rebellion was bad, but you really had to dig into it to get it. the animation was a blast though, top tier stuff

>Also, congratulation for the teacher's job QM.
thanks!!!!

and now, after a pause, we vote for Lucinda without Lucinda lmao

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>>5765800
>motherfucker that could have been the OP pic, why didn't you post sooner? im not doing font anyway LAWL
i could blame my dad for fleecing me into work for 20 bucks a day only for them to send me to bumfuck nowhere right at the start of the month and killing my motivation, or I could blame the other rp i'm also playing in, or that one of my favorite qms went an hero and really bummed me out, or that I was waiting until I was in my house so I could keep the formatting but really, I just plain procrastinated. I thought with our track record we could go on a while without a thread and then you go and beat me to it, and here I was gonna show you up for those terrible ETAs. real turtle and hare there

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Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyup; that’s the girl. Lucinda Newhorn, prodigy, femme-fatale, top ten coldest Magical Girl in recorded history. There is no person, especially no girl, that hasn’t gone through a phase where they hate everyone in the world or at least anyone who doesn’t paint their nails black. There’s a certain degree of sincere hatred towards humanity that is actually healthy, that is warranted.

Lucinda feels nothing but pure, uncompromised hatred towards all living beings.

Given that you can’t get into the lil psycho’s head from where you are from, that statement feels like a long shot- but it does come with eons of experience backing it up. Purity comes from simplicity and simplicity is the pinnacle of knowledge; whatever hides behind those blue eyes can be explained with a single word. Usually, the reasons for which people want to raze each other from the face of the earth are complex, full of contradictions, and mostly projection- but you haven’t seen Lucinda ever hesitate. Not yet, at least.

You frown. Sweet fuck. Jesus. Damn, like… heavy, heavy stuff.

You smile. Oh, well. Whatever.

Someone pops from the Law of Cycles, which you’ve been bouncing between your legs like a basketball.

Grumpy French Magical Girl: It smells like someone’s about to fuck up out here.

You sniff around; no such smell, and you communicate that clearly. Another Magical Girl pops out from it as you wear the Law of Cycles like a hat.

Worried Blonde Magical Girl from the USA: Madoka, can’t you just, like… watch K-dramas or something? Brazilian novellas? That show about the turkish harem and stuff?

As if you hadn’t watched all of those AND their alternate parallel universe versions a thousand million times each. This is new. This is making you so giddy! As you nimble on the Law of Cycles, another Magical Girl crawls from under your tongue.

Mushroom-obsessed fashionista Magical Girl covered in saliva: Ew. EWWWW! Madoka, there is no resetting this universe! It doesn’t have parallels or anything. Can’t you be careful for ONCE?

Oh, you’ll be, mark my words. Also, mushrooms look like dicks. In any case, you will see Lucinda Newhorn smile for ONCE, on your honor as a goddess of all Magical Girls and substitute cupid with no legal certification- and you know /exactly/ how you are going to make her smile. With a flick of your fingers, you project your thoughts on the impossibly gigantic CRT TV floating through the cosmos.

Static fills its screen.

…

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…

It’s A-chan’s office. The Coordinator is engaging with a customer from across her desk, as usual; the customer itself is anything but usual.

卌 A: You sure are a rare sight around here, Lady Lu. Are you finally getting adjusted?

ರೃ Lucinda: Touch my Soul Gem and I’ll rip your arm off.

A sips from her chamomile tea.

卌 A: The only reason I’m not using you and your golden hair like a broom is because I don’t want to. Don’t you think the floor looks just sparkly?

Lucinda sips from her peppermint tea.

ರೃ Lucinda: I’m looking for someone who can bring the dead back to life.

卌 A: Bring back- who?

Lady Lu the Fucknado of Terror produces a suitcase semiingly out of nowhere and places it precisely at the center of the table. Eyebrows high, buries her thumb on the button that makes it open: then bursts out laughing in Lucinda’s face. Who simply stares with those frozen blue eyes as A’s cackles turn into coughs.

卌 A: Sorry. I’m genuinely and honestly sorry for my unprofessional behavior. It’s just that… you, out of all people, come to my Laberynth right as I’m about to leave early, carrying… a suitcase with a dead dog. Oh god, it’s just… I’ve seen shit, but the odds…

ರೃ Lucinda: It’s an infant woolly mammoth.

A the Coordinator blasts chamomile tea out of her nostrils.

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卌 A: HAHAHHA, WHAT THE FUCK, HAHAHA, oh my god wh-wh-where did you even GET THIS? You had to steal it from a museum! And why! Oh my god, why!

ರೃ Lucinda: I do not understand why you are laughing.

卌 A: hahHAHA, hahaHA, it's, it's just... WHY?

ರೃ Lucinda: That is none of your concerns.

The perhaps most dreaded Magical Girl in Buenos Aires behind Salome patiently waits for A’s meltdown to simmer.

卌 A: Sorry, sorry. Ok. I get it; none of my concern. And I know you’d go hunting for a necromancer or such on your own if I refuse, so let me thank you for your patronage.

Lucinda remains silent. Suddenly, A is silent too. Cheery, but quiet as she bounces her index finger against her chin.

卌 A: Huh. Hmmm… Huh…

ರೃ Lucinda: Coordinator, are you doing this to annoy me?

卌 A: No, that’s not my intention. I have an idea- but let me be careful.

A takes a napkin from under her desk and proceeds to clean the corner of it that was shot-gunned with tea from her nostril. It’s a silent process, yet Lucinda, who relishes silence, is frowning more with each passing second

until A the Coordinator lifts a finger.

卌 A: I know who. I have one. I will leave this matter in her hands.

ರೃ Lucinda: That’s up to me, Coordinator.

卌 A: I know, I know. Let me send you her email. She’s a shy one, so phone calls or even sudden text messages may be out of the question for now. Earn her trust.

ರೃ Lucinda: Give me her name.

卌 A: I won’t. That’s up to her. You have your reputation to owe for that.

Said reputation being that of the ‘strongest, meanest, coldest Magical Girl seen in a while, maybe a refugee from the Big North’. Unwarranted, since she hadn’t been mean to anyone.

卌 A: And- done. You should have gotten it.

ರೃ Lucinda: Is your job your excuse for having my phone number?

卌 A: It is. And I won’t erase it.

ರೃ Lucinda: I see.

Lucinda stands from the desk, grabs the suitcase-
卌 A: You can leave that here for the time being. It may be troublesome if you are caught with an ancient relic stolen from a museum- and I can vouch for this place being great for ancient rituals.

Lucinda simply lets go of the suitcase and walks away, as A sips a bit more of her tea- and, after a while, after Lucinda is very well long gone, the Coordinator laughs even more.

….

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The titanic TV floating in space turns off on its own. You find your cheeks halfway puffed: this would have been much better if it was recorded like a K-drama. Whatever. You have nobody to blame for that but you. What matters most is the next segment: the TV flickers to life again.

…

At the center of the screen is a cellphone, Lucinda’s cellphone, seen from an awkward angle because the whole thing got recorded from over her shoulder. Far away, you can hear her father and mother screaming, yet the tiny text bubbles quickly gain back your attention.

Lucinda Newhorn:
My name is Lucinda Newhorn. I have heard from the Coordinator of your capabilities to bring the dead back to life. I want you to bring an animal back to life for me. What do you want in exchange for this favor?

Teasing Teacher Studios, debut 19/2/2023 <3:
um
hi!
nice meeting you, Lucinda!
sure! when are you available
?
to meet up

Lucinda Newhorn:
I don’t see how that is relevant.

Teasing Teacher Studios, debut 19/2/2023 <3:
um
reviving things is very delicate (i’d know lol) so i want to get to know you a bit before making a call
Im sure you understand

Lucinda Newhorn:
I don’t.

Teasing Teacher Studios, debut 19/2/2023 <3:
if you were a bad person you could do bad things to the animal
i don’t want that to happen because i don’t like people hurting animals
but the only way i can make sure that you wont (or at least have a better change at gauging you) is getting to know you first
is that clear enough?

Lucinda Newhorn:
Why do you care about what happens to the animal afterward?

…There is no answer. You know there will be one because you recorded this, and yet the suspense is killing you once more. It’s only the eleventh time you’ve seen this one after all.

Teasing Teacher Studios, debut 19/2/2023 <3:
um, that is kinda hard to explain
you know, usually people just take that kind of answers for granted
lucinda, why don’t we kill two birds with one stone? (that doesn’t sound too good coming from someone who just said she cares about animals xD)
let’s meet up and drink something and i can try to explain it to you >:D
these kind of things are hard to explain, so let me think something up like an example or something

Lucinda Newhorn:
Ok.
Let’s meet up.

And have a date.

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Fine; that last line is yours. Whatever. It WILL be a date. YOU will make it a date! Your track record is spotless; you got Mami to date Kyoko, you got Sayaka to date Mami (Mami is always easy), then you got Homura to date Mami, then Sayaka, then Kyoko (that ending was not your fault), then you got your in-universe self to date everyone at the same time. Your blade is sharp, your fingers steady, and you are wearing your red ribbon like a bandana- it’s now or never!

You take the Law of Cycles from the black hole you golfed it into. This is the time, that is the truth- what you need now is the /how/. The universe or whatever entity controls it got wind of you injecting a bunch of Magical Girls from random eras into it and didn’t like it a bit, so now infiltrating someone inside it is a biiiit trickier. Not to worry: a goddess is full of tricks! One, and only one Magical Girl will be picked for ‘Operation Heart Melter’, and she and only she will have to carry out your commands to make this mission a success. The question is- who?

>The short-fused girl who can make people forget stuff. Good at ambushes too.
>The luckiest girl ever. Horrendous with details.
>The strongest motherly figure ever. A bit tactless.
>The invisible girl. Clumsy, gets nervous, always at the vanguard.
>Just a very kind, very empathetic girl with no relevant abilities.

>>5766167
>>The luckiest girl ever. Horrendous with details.
this sounds fun

>>5766167
>>The short-fused girl who can make people forget stuff. Good at ambushes too.
Perfect for OPERATION HEART MELTER

>>5766167
>The short-fused girl who can make people forget stuff. Good at ambushes too.

>>5766167
>The short-fused girl who can make people forget stuff. Good at ambushes too.
Erase awkwardness and murderous intent.

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You mull it over- for the better part of half a second. There’s little doubt: it has to be

>The short-fused girl who can make people forget stuff.

With a wave of your hand, you summon her from the Law of Cycles, which you were just using like a mounted speed punching bag. From it, first peek the tips of two horns, then wind goggles on a violet hood, then the resting bitch face under it. Long blonde bangs, purple scarf, purple skirt, socks over both ankles, naked arms, disjointed black sleeves, a violet Soul Gem right next to her exposed belly - and one big, BIG fucking hammer. No doubt about it: the perfect girl for the job.

Hammer Girl: (yaaaaaaaawns) (wipes eyes with sleeve) …the fuck you want?

Except for the fact that she’s one selfish little brat. Oh well. Some people are thirteen; nobody is perfect- except for that one weird girl. This Magical Girl right here can make people forget any kind of stuff instantly- by dunking that hammer in their skull at Mach speed. No, for real. That’s how it works.

Hammer Girl: I’m going back. Later.

Mentally screeching, you stop her. The nerve! You’ve been summoned by the Goddess herself! And what a great Goddess. Pretty and cool and stuff. You tell the girl with the hammer that you have personally summoned her so that she may enact your will on your behalf. She will be your emissary and do good onto the world in your name!

Hammer Girl: I don’t wanna!

FFFF- all those eons wiping Witches and this is what you get, but of course. Oh well; you can’t blame her. After all, you made the Law of Cycles too fun. In there, there are beaches, volleyball, books, cats, cat racing, cat racing bets, a cat racing mafia, an illegal hand-holding ring for heavily indebted Magical Girls, tea, and pastries galore.

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But this is no time to reap, oh no. Today we lay the seeds of love in that frozen wasteland that is Lucinda Newhorn’s heart, we make roses break through ice!

Hammer Girl: …Mmhhaaaagg, what a pain in the ass! Mind your own business for once!

You are about to lay down not the mother but the great-great-great-great-grandmother of bitch-slaps upon this heathen, but another Magical Girl pops like pop-corn from the Law of Cycles.

Succubus-looking Magical Girl that is actually Extremely Pure: Miss Big Madoka, why make them fall in love when they could just be friends, like- you know? It can work even if it’s not romance or yurimance, you know. All that hand-holding and kissing stuff is nice but what matters is being niggas in the same turf, you know.

Blasphemy. Only pure forbidden love can heal the absolute darkness in Lucinda’s heart, and you will have it no other way. You grab the girl with the hammer and cram her into a meteor until she fits in a crater, despite her yelling. With correct posture, focus, and commitment, you rest your ten thousand quadrillion galaxies long golf club over your shoulder. Licking your thumb and looking at it, a pointless gesture in the middle of space, you measure the wind one last time before sending Felicia Mitsuki on her way with a single swing that would make Tiger Woods both cry and shit himself at the same time.

Hammer Girl: aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

And off she goes, the little mercenary; godspeed! A single tear escapes your eye, enough to sink Japan a million times over- and yet another Magical Girl peeks from the Law of Cycles.

The Small and Cute Magical Girl with Pink Hair who is the only one who is ever Nice to you: Ummm…! Big Lady Madoka, hi! Can I say something? I mean, maybe you already know…

Sure.

The Small and Cute Magical Girl with Pink Hair who is the only one who is ever Nice to you: It’s… Felicia is japanese. From Japan. I'm from Japan too. And, we can’t speak spanish…

FUCK.

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Despite your stern lessons last night, Felicia only learned to say ‘I want a big hot dog’ and ‘the fuck you looking at’ in spanish. Whatever. No time to bitch about it. No point either. You are too busy getting bounced around like a testicle. All you can do is peek from inside the small black bag Felicia carries over her shoulder, from the small frayed hole at the side of the zipper because this punk couldn’t even be bothered to leave a little gap open.

λ Felicia: Huh? Is that the creep?

My sweet light child full of love and kind, 'how the FUCK would I know?' is what you think. I can't see anything like this! Felicia, now dressed in the simplest hoodie and shorts and football boots, makes the bag you are stuck in bounce over her shoulder and land on her hands. Landing on your back, struggling to turn around, you settle for looking at the world upside-down and yet spot none other than the target at once. Finally: there she is. Lucinda Newhorn, waiting at the corner of a pedestrian-only street infested with street cafe tables- checking her copper wristwatch that has been painted gold. Great. Nice start, mystery girl, arriving late to the date you arranged... Cool...

λ Felicia: What now? Do I punch her?

No, you don’t punch her! That’s not how you make two kindred souls fall in love with each other. Sadly, there’s nothing to do right now. Emotional manipulation requires at least for the person to be there. Not that you, a goddess, are going to pull such a thing. Love has to be pure and genuine, of course.

λ Felicia: I don’t know, I love meat, and meat has bones sometimes. I’m getting hungry.

Don’t think about food, it’s only going to make it worse. Focus on the mission. Lucinda is dressed, yet again, in her casual blue clothes. They fit her for sure, not even flat-earthers would disagree, but she sure has a small wardrobe for someone with such a penchant for looking gorgeous. Then again, her family is piss-poor despite appearances and are only good at pretending to be rich… maybe that blouse and skirt she wears are the only truly fancy clothes she has. You wouldn't be surprised if they still show up in their credit card resume years after she graduates college- which is still a cheerful thought. At any rate, Lucinda is truly beautiful; she can even pull the strings on an old goddess's heart.

Oh wait
Is that
wait for real?

λ Felicia: …Hey, Goddess, is that the girl you wanna marry to the psycho?

Nah, no way

no wait, she is.

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It’s paradoxical. Some people sacrifice themselves to draw as much attention as they can- while some just want to be themselves and end up drawing even more attention. The Magical Girl waves at Lucinda, facing the mild wind with her toxic-looking turquoise and green short hair, its colors evenly split through mixed wide strands- while wearing jean-blue painter overalls over a long black shirt. It’s as if her head was the Earth seen from space and we really, really fucked up the water down here. No wonder we are in space. Eyes like stone, you glance at Lucinda from inside the bag, who stands on end like a cat being approached by dog it doesn't know even though the dog is nice.

The girl bumps into a table and sends a wave of coffee over a salary man who is sitting with a woman. The man screams like a banshee.

Toxic-haired Girl: Oh-OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY!

Man on a date: AAAAAAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Toxic-haired Girl: ARE YOU OKAY?!

Man on a date: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Toxic-haired Girl: I-I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO!

The woman on the other side is frozen, just staring at the man screaming. Then slowly, slooowly, she takes out her cell phone and starts recording him as the man jumps off the table and rips his shirt off with his nails.

Man on a date: AAAAAAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Toxic-haired Girl: I’M SORRY! WAITER! WAAAAITER!

Girl, for real, what the hell could a waiter do in this situation? That being said, not everyone can think clearly when shit goes down. When the waiter arrives, he of course calls an ambulance as a lady clerk from a nearby candy shop arrives with a first-aid kit. Mortified, the walking planet Earth hides her mouth as the man is held down forcefully by some mexicans.

λ Felicia: Man, what the hell? Do they serve lava for coffee around here? At least he didn’t drink that.

Hmm…! Strange but good point. Maybe it's worth keeping tabs on this- you never know, with Magical Girls. At any rate, Lucinda is still there, looking flabbergasted for once in her life; it's not a smile, but at least the muscles in her face work. The woman that was with the guy who is currently getting vodka blasted into its open charred flesh and howling tells Planet Earth Girl to not worry and to just go away fast. She tries to tell the exotic girl to just be more careful next time, speaking louder by the second because the 'I'm sorry!' repeated over and over keeps drowning her words- until the woman ends up screaming that everything is okay as if she was scolding.

Felicia is laughing; you are laughing too, but it’s Felicia’s fault. She’s bad, not you. Poor girl. The man screams.

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After the man was dragged away in an ambulance because another waiter tripped and dropped an entire brunch board on top of him, the mystery date girl finally dared to walk up to Lucinda. Stepping as if she was treading on thin ice, head hanging low, you'd be mad to think she isn't sad. You dare to think that Lucinda considered stepping back as the girl approached, but the blonde held her ground as usual.

Toxic-haired Girl: Um. We can leave this for another time.

ರೃ Lucinda: No.

Toxic-haired Girl: …ok.

ರೃ Lucinda: Sit.

Both do, at one of the many tables between them. The usual street music had already sunk back as if nothing had happened, and skin-melting coffee continued to be served on heroic plastic cups at a discount. You command Felicia to also take a sit somewhere and ask for anything but meat and coffee.

λ Felicia: I wanna try a burrito!

That’s meat too.

λ Felicia: You don’t let me do anything!

Eons. Prioritizing the mission, you push the First Testament Goddess thoughts aside and engage in Second Testament Goddess mode, kindly offering Felicia some burritos if she helps you should you need it.

λ Felicia: Yay!! Burritos!!

This girl; she loves eating meat over /almost/ anything even though her soft hidden heart sincerely loves cows. You feel glad to have set the only single rule in all of the Law of Cycles, which is to never tell Felicia how farms work- who for now settles for a milkshake.

Meanwhile:

Toxic-haired Girl: …hahaha …Hahahaha..!

ರೃ Lucinda: Is your head failing?

Toxic-haired Girl: Oh no sorry, it’s just… that was so pathetic hahaha… oh my god, that couldn’t have gone worse aaaa hahahaha…!

She’s hiding her face with both hands. Well, it is understandable. You can still hear her from behind those bony fingers, at least for now.

ರೃ Lucinda: If it was such a disaster, then why are you laughing?

Oh. No.

Toxic-haired Girl: …because of how pathetic that was?

ರೃ Lucinda: Look at me.

The girl looks.

ರೃ Lucinda: Why are you laughing?

The clumsy girl gives herself pause- and who wouldn’t, under those inquisitive blue eyes? And yet, she offers a tender smile.

Toxic-haired Girl: Because laughter is nothing but relief.

ರೃ Lucinda: You just burned a man alive. What could make you feel relief about that? That he is not dead?

If Lucinda can't tell that this girl is sad then she maybe she really is well and truly fucked- emotionally.

Toxic-haired Girl: I don’t… feel good about that, I feel horrible about that. Still do. (she twirls a green bang with a finger, carefully) But, I often had nightmares about going through something as impossibly embarrassing as that. I thought it would destroy me. And it was pretty bad, it was, but it didn’t. Even though it happened right in front of a very pretty girl. That’s why I feel relieved.

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…eeeeh, brave, but that’s still kinda self-serving. Girl, you just cockblocked a man, likely made him a trending topic on Twitter, and sent him to the hospital a half-living taco. MAYBE you shouldn’t be laughing.

That being said, that way of addressing Lucinda- mmmhmhmHOHOHOH

ರೃ Lucinda: I understand.

what. Huh? Eh?

Toxic-haired Girl: Oh- you do? I'm so glad.

ರೃ Lucinda: I do. I just told you. Don’t ask me what I just told you.

Toxic-haired Girl: Okay. Sorry. I won’t. It’s just, people often say that out of compromise. I'm no good with manners.

ರೃ Lucinda: I have no compromises with you. In my opinion your hair is disgusting and you carry yourself wrong.

Toxic-haired Girl: I see.

The girl smiles.

Toxic-haired Girl: Thank you for your honesty.

…huh? And yet- she laughs again?! Let’s just hope Lucinda doesn’t remember A-chan.

Toxic-haired Girl: Sorry. Mom always said that first impressions are half the story.

ರೃ Lucinda: I don’t care. You shouldn’t, either. We won’t have a relationship. Odds are, we might be dead in a month.

Toxic-haired Girl: That is true. I’m Lifa.

ರೃ Lucinda: So; you are still hiding under a nickname.

Lifa, the Magical Girl that can raise the dead, shakes her head.

Lifa: It makes sense that you would think that, but this is what I go by in the wider Magical Girl Community. You could figure out the rest about me with that name. Besides…

She leaves the word hanging in the air for too long.

Lifa: Isn’t it nice? To be able to name yourself.

ರೃ Lucinda: Names change nothing.

Awkward silence.

Lifa: Um- Shouldn’t we order?

ರೃ Lucinda: No. First, I want you to answer the question I sent you through text. Second, I want to know your demands so I can meet them at once.

Lifa blinks- and blinks.

Lifa: You- remember that?

ರೃ Lucinda: Yes.

Lifa: -cause I don’t. Hahahaha!

Of course, only Lifa is laughing…

Lifa: um- is that question in the emails we traded or did you ask it after I agreed to text you?

ರೃ Lucinda: Why did you laugh?

Lucinda’s voice came out sliiightly more coarse than last time

enough for Felicia to stop slurping her milkshake.

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You still your hand. Even if Lucinda DOES reverse air pile-bunker Lifa's chin in public, Lifa is still a Magical Girl

who looks away, ‘hmm’ing like introverts are wont to do.

Lifa: Would you mind letting me think that out? Some thoughtful consideration is in order.

ರೃ Lucinda: No. Don’t cover your bases to give me a safe answer. Just tell me why you laughed.

Lifa: I can’t. I still don’t know.

ರೃ Lucinda: How could you not know why you are laughing?

It’s like watching a pack of lions surround an elephant- but Lifa seems to be seeing only one of those lions.

Lifa: Well, who does? In-depth, I mean. Everyone knows what made them laugh, sure- but never ever why and they don’t want to think about that. It kills the magic; that's what they say. Lucinda, what do you laugh at? Why do you laugh, Lucinda?

ರೃ Lucinda: I never laugh.

Lifa: Of course you do. You just don’t rememb-

ರೃ Lucinda: I know what I said. I never laugh. That is what I said.

…more awkward silence.

λ Felicia: (whispering) Madoka, the classy lady is freaking me out!

No point in telling me, I’m kinda scared myself is what you think. There’s no tell or clue as to what Lucinda could do. She doesn’t particularly concern herself with the Veil, she naturally cannot care about what society thinks of her- there aren’t any real barriers for anything here.

Lifa: Um… this is just a wild guess, so don’t take it seriously. But, maybe you do laugh, but it’s not intense enough for you to count it as laughing?

ರೃ Lucinda: I never laugh. I told you to not make me repeat myself. So don't do it.

Lifa: You are right. I’m sorry. I apologize.

ರೃ Lucinda: Don't be redundant.

...and Lifa doesn't answer, of course. Like, what do you even say there? That you are sorry again? Would it be redundant if she says it again but only once? The lines are too straight.

Lifa: You don’t laugh. I see. You’ll have to forgive me then, that’s… highly unusual.

ರೃ Lucinda: Why do I have to forgive you?

Lifa looks even paler than when she almost melted an entire guy.

Lifa: BecausewearebeingsthatactonprobabilityandIactedconsideringthemostcommoncasescenariowhichisthateverypersonI’veevermetdoeslaugh

She spat the sentence so fast that even Lucinda, who is right in front of her, had to stop to chew it out. Even from inside that bag that’s like ten meters away, you can /feel/ the cold cogs twist and twirl in that cold brain of hers, clanking like the insides of the Big Ben- processing.

ರೃ Lucinda: I understand.

Lifa’s sigh of relief almost blows her napkin away, though her green eyes remain dry and steady.

ರೃ Lucinda: Yet you did answer fast this time.

You can hear Lifa's mental scream.

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Lifa: OH, well, UM, that is because /how/ we do things is easier to explain than /why/ we do things.

ರೃ Lucinda: I see. I agree.

Lifa: ……..Should we order something to eat or drink?

ರೃ Lucinda: I said no.

Lifa: But, we’ve already been here for a bit and still haven’t gotten through with any of your points. And- I want to do this properly. If you don’t mind, of course.

You know it- Lifa was about to laugh nervously but she cut herself short. Wise move. This date is totally and utterly fucked. Just run, Lifa. Run for your Lifa.

ರೃ Lucinda: Waiter.

Although the waiter was in the middle of unloading a whole cheesecake, Lucinda’s voice was so commanding that he just dropped it on the table tray and all and walked over anyway.

Waiter: Yes? Oh and good day, what can I get you?

ರೃ Lucinda: The card, obviously.

Waiter: The card. Yes, the card, of course.

λ Felicia: (whispering) OI, Big Goddess! Is this gonna work out? I don't wanna be here no more.

Fuck if you know, but your track record is at stake. The fingers pulling the cupid’s bow are drenched in sweat, the heart-shaped arrow shaking over its mark.

But fuck it.

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The waiter hands Lucinda the card, a leather-clad envelope adorned with golden letters. She goes through its pages with no rush as date and waiter both await, and she seems to be considering her options carefully.

ರೃ Lucinda: I’ll have the chamomile tea with biscuits.

The waiter nods and writes it down in his tiny notebook. Chamomile?

Lifa: I think I will have the same. Oh, it’s just, I never drink tea so I got curious. That is all.

Lifa anticipated Lucinda’s gaze well enough.

Waiter: Would that be all?

…You noticed. Ears perked, Felicia noticed. Lifa didn’t; but you are dead sure Lucinda just did.

ರೃ Lucinda: I’m changing my order. I’ll have coffee instead.

Lifa doesn’t move an inch. The waiter raises an eyebrow as the four men in Jamaican jackets surround them- but Lucinda is still looking straight at him.

ರೃ Lucinda: Any type will do.

He walks away as some of the men grab seats from other tables and place them at theirs. Some sit down. One of them smiles at Lucinda.

Well-tanned man in sunglasses: W-

ರೃ Lucinda: I’m sixteen years old.

Stuck for a second, the man shrugs with wide open arms.

Well-tanned man in sunglasses: Sure, babe, don’t worry. What’s your name?

ರೃ Lucinda: I am not interested in any of you. I did not ask you to sit here with us. We are in the middle of a private conversation. Go. Away.

…You recognize them instantly. One is a famous actor, another is the son of a politician; one of those watches is as expensive as the Newhorn’s house because its gold isn’t just paint. Apparently, Lucinda’s fame transcended way past the Fucknado- right in the opposite direction as well.

And the man shrugs yet again.

Well-tanned man in sunglasses: It’s aight, sugar. How about you get to know me first so you can really hate me?

ರೃ Lucinda: I can kill you.

Kinda pale guy wearing a Polo shirt: Woooooah, come on now, why are you like that? Let’s chill. First drinks on me, but only the first round eh!

Lifa: HEY.

The three men turn to look at future Planet Earth.

Lifa: My GIRLFRIEND said VERY CLEARLY she doesn’t want to talk to any of you. Go. Away.

…oh no; she's shaking. And the three men are very handsome. Lucinda certainly IS stupid pretty, that is one fact- and yet this seems far-fetched regardless. Either magic is involved somehow or somewhere out there there’s a secret ongoing competition on who conquers Lucinda Newhorn first. Well, she did wreck a few heavy-weights- maybe that won her some attention. In that case, if it is a competition then YOU are going to win it!

That being said... what do you even know?! Can Lifa handle this on her own? Would she be horrified if she saw Lucinda turn four guys into a train of wheelchairs? Can those two handle this obvious attempt at intimidation through power and wealth? Lifa looks so stressed already…

λ Felicia: Hey, BIG GOD! Isn’t it bonking time already?!

>Let Felicia handle this.
>Let shit go down.

i know. i went fucking bananas again. hereby i pinky promise shorter posts and more choices from now on. i can also safely say that this one has some good weight to it for a single specific reason

>>5765817
>or that one of my favorite qms went an hero and really bummed me out
was that DCHenchman? honestly i didnt know the guy or read his stuff, but as a qm it did hit me regardless. so many talented folks suffer so much; you'd think that if you were as good as any of them you'd be happy, and then shit like this happens. rest in peace. never ever being mean is a valid strategy- you never know how bad the guy the other side of the screen has it

>I thought with our track record we could go on a while without a thread and then you go and beat me to it
damn straight, im a punctual qm. hope your stuff gets better jimenanon, it seems you and me and emmanon are rowing the same boat

>>5767047
>>Let Felicia handle this.
but KILL THEM, kill those fuckos
Figures Madoka would feel sympathy for a monster. well, I guess I do too
>>5767050
yeah that's the one. i keep thinking of it all wednesdays and fridays we used to play, all the things i wanted to do and discuss and remember we are never coming back to it, think of the cowriter from qtg who had to actually grieve a friend and I don't know, i don't know where i'm going with this. never take shit for granted

>damn straight, im a punctual qm. hope your stuff gets better jimenanon, it seems you and me and emmanon are rowing the same boat
eh, for now it seems i'll once again be a neet for a bit, at least I got some money for it and dad gets the validation that his "SIXTEEN HOURS OF WORK" isn't a complete exaggeration, just an exaggeration

>>5767047
>Let Felicia handle this.
BONK

>>5767047
>Let shit go down.

>>5767047
>Let Felicia handle this.
Lucinda would probably splash hot coffee in that guys eyes, this is a mercy.

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>>5767168
I will one day make a PMBA slander video probably after I learn how to actually edit videos.

>>5767338
i dunno, I think 90% of people who've interacted with erika have considered her a scary bitch

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>>5767100
>>5767110
>>5767168

>Let Felicia handle this.

It’s not that a couple of guys approaching some girls is bad. It’s not always about someone getting their armpits fucked; some people just like to mess around, and that’s fine, and it’s fun, and the age difference doesn’t matter when you are just chatting with some friends. But humans sometimes rely on pattern recognition, way less than they should- and Lucinda, sixteen years old, already has a perplexing track record of being constantly harassed. A very clear pattern.

Shaking like a living dildo, Lifa literally (this time used correctly) stands up to four full-grown men- and you can already tell she’s at least a full head smaller than Lucinda. Yet the man in sunglasses shrugs again. He must love doing that. Shrugging.

Well-tanned man in sunglasses: Nah, look; it’s ok. Trust me bro.

He then turns to address Lucinda with a wide white smile.

Lifa: SHE TOLD YOU THAT-

Well-tanned man in sunglasses: Shhh.

He doesn’t even turn to look; his friends chuckle. Well, would you look at that: Planet Earth may still have volcanoes left a few centuries from now. Regardless, you consider /that/ possibility.

λ Felicia: GO time?!

Yes, but, subtlety is your command. Divine intervention must be invisible, it is to be confused with the casual acts of men or with their consequences. You let Felicia know that, while not exactly ‘GO time’, it is indeed ‘...go time…’.

λ Felicia: What?!

Dear, just wreck those fucks like a ninja.

λ Felicia: Gotcha! I’ll go with a KA-BLAAAAM!!!, and, no, with a ‘ka-blaaaaaaaam…!’

You look back at the scene as Felicia just leaves the bag there as if this wasn’t Buenos Aires- there’s no way this girl won’t fuck this up. Oh well. Whatever. She can just make them forget this later.

Lifa: SHE TOLD YOU THAT-

Kinda pale guy wearing a Polo shirt: Jesus Christ girl just-just shut the fucky up? Just the fuckity up? For one second. Dude, she’s making me so nervous.

Lifa: NO, SHE TOLD YOU THAT-

One of the other guys sits next to Lifa, a charming blonde with a wide chin and serene eyes. Even sitting he’s still at eye’s height with the necromancer.

Blonde with earrings wearing Prada: Shh, shh, shh, look; you got what you wanted. I’m here.

Lifa: Lucinda, l-let’s go.

Yet when the handsome devil sits her down with a single hand she stays there and goes quiet.

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Thankfully, men aren’t normally that ridiculously imposing nowadays- well, for the most part. Mankind took its time to realize tits don’t make you that much of a different animal until you sell your soul to a weasel. Welp; time for a lesson they will never understand. The waiter arrives with the tea, biscuits, and smoking black coffee on the tray. With speed and precision, he unloads the items on the table.

ರೃ Lucinda: Call the police. These persons are harassing us.

The waiter looks around with eyes as big as a lemur’s. The young man in the sunglasses waves a hand away, dismissively.

Well-tanned man in sunglasses: She’s just messing with you, my man. Go.

And there goes the waiter, away in a hurry. He saw his excuse and took it; maybe that’s how you keep that kind of job for so long.

ರೃ Lucinda: I want to drink my coffee and resurrect my mammoth. Leave or I will scream.

Kinda pale guy wearing a Polo shirt: Resurrect your what?

ರೃ Lucinda: I know what I said.

Lucinda’s words continue to flow quietly, like a sharp knife slowly making its way through nerves and marrow- unlike Lifa’s, stuck in her throat like in a traffic jam. The men just look at each other, most likely searching in each other's eyes for how those words may relate to jacking off, their spiritual, tribal bonds united in search of depth and meaning- and collectively give up as one.

Lifa: ……….mammoth?

Kinda pale guy wearing a Polo shirt: No, babe, why would you scream? You’ll make me sad, but I wanna make you happy. Come on, now. I won’t make you happy if I’m sad.

And now he’s singing. Poor guys. Maybe someone who expected to live longer than three more months would care about their veiled threats and promises- the Mortal Kombat arcade machine diving their way sure doesn’t.

Blonde with earrings wearing Prada: C-CAPTAAAAIN!

Kinda pale guy wearing a Polo shirt: Y-YEAH?

Blonde with earrings wearing Prada: LOOOOOK!!

Arcade machine: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT

It filled the skies with that classic theme song. That’s when you realize those guys were either high or drunk- they didn’t jump out of the way as fast as Lucinda. Lifa is left alone, sitting by the crater left by the arcade machine as it bounces away blasting that awesome saxophone chorus.

Arcade machine: (at the distance) Liu Kang

Almost like a statue, the little lich takes a sip of her tea. Maybe she decided that the universe was too chaotic and not worth the hassle. You'd understand. As for everyone else on the street? They scream and panic and take shelter. Two of the fuckbois broke through the window of a dog grooming center, the other two got swallowed by the horizon line.

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Well- in a way, that WAS subtle. You don’t know in WHICH way, that’s for damn sure, but there’s the hope, deep in your heart, that this somehow fits the definition. You’ll just have to be brave and look within someday.

λ Felicia: SO? I’m a super ninja, right?! Nobody saw me!

Felicia, who confused samurais with ninjas, is back. If anything, that was one big ass shuriken. Yet, you find yourself mulling stuff over. Sure, the girls are safe now, but… there’s this twinkling feeling drilling inside your cosmic skull. You don’t know nearly enough of those girls to say if your choice was right or wrong- and that’s the thing. You learned nothing new about them and neither did they about each other; only in deep shit we can trust the colors people show.

That being said, assuming that Lucinda Newhorn would have committed public manslaughter was perfectly logical.

λ Felicia: Where are they?

…wait, for real, where are they? You peek from every hole and gash you can find; no Lifa, no Lucinda. You don’t know. But; you will know. This is one of those very few times where being the Goddess of all Magical Girls of every era and timeline comes in handy. Smelling Lucinda's shampoo, you kick the bag over and over in the direction Felicia should follow.

λ Felicia: What, you need air?

You feel good about yourself for loving Felicia despite the bratty girl clearly being a slightly dumb motherfucker. You tell her: no. Go that way, go that way, now go that way. Good girl.

Can people love each other without knowing each other?

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Lifa: I think I may be in shock.

Felicia is now hiding behind a washing machine most likely housing ten thriving families of rats. Despite the distance you can hear Lifa and Lucinda from here, who themselves are hiding behind a trash box right by the back of a restaurant. Dark alleys; always so convenient.

ರೃ Lucinda: You are too soft.

Lifa: That may be true… What was that?

ರೃ Lucinda: We are being attacked by a Magical Girl.

The girl with the hair that may be radioactive doesn’t answer at once. She seems to be in permanent texting mode even in real life; clearly, her policy is to always take her sweet time to think before talking. What an interesting case.

Lifa: You protected me so I would perform the resurrection. Is that right?

ರೃ Lucinda: Yes. That is my bargain chip: do this for me and I will have to protect you.

Lifa: Because my magic will vanish when I die. I see.

Felicia frowns her nose. Well, yeah- what did you expect? And they must have it even worse over there.

Lifa: I… know where you are coming from. Freaky stuff is magical a hundred times out of a hundred and a one. But, for a Magical Girl to attack another in broad daylight… It’s just unheard of. And, I will dare to say… that even a freak accident is much more likely.

ರೃ Lucinda: I’ve been the target of constant raids by the North and West. Even Easterns came up with excuses to hunt me down.

Lifa: …Even Magical Girls? In public? But… why?

Seems Lifa did her research. Half of it, at least.

ರೃ Lucinda: I don’t know, I don’t care; yet this is the first time they disrespect the Veil. They crossed a line; so shall I. Should I find this Magical Girl, I will end her life.

And Felicia was /right/ about to yawn; she swallowed that air like it was meat cake. Fuck. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck… Silence. Silence because of more thinking time and not because somebody is getting closer… hopefully.

Lifa: Lucinda, I don’t think that would make yours easier.

...the steps stop.

ರೃ Lucinda: Another idealist Magical Girl.

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Lifa: No. Do not group me. This is just practical advice at this point. You want to scare them so they stop, but if they are coming for you in the first place it can only be because they’d rather take their chances than be cowards. And if they are after you because they think you are evil then you’d just be proving them right, giving them more excuses to hunt you.

Whatever the fuck is happening back there you will never know and be happy to never know. You ain't stretching your neck to peek this time.

Lifa: We don't lack kind souls willing to do good- we lack a good definition of what good is.

ರೃ Lucinda: Will you do it? Will you revive the mammoth?

As expected, more thinking time. Fuck it, you'll peek.

Lifa: I’m still thinking about that.

ರೃ Lucinda: What do you want from me?

Lifa: Empathy. Kindness. Patience.

ರೃ Lucinda: So you won’t do it because your judgment is that I lack those values.

Lifa: I’m still thinking about that. D-do not make me repeat myself!

Huh.

ರೃ Lucinda: Yes, yes; you do a lot of thinking. Do tell me: what is it that you truly want in exchange? Why is it that you want to know more of me?

Lifa is now… limp and cold. Like deatha.

Lifa: I think that you have a suspicion. Let me hear it first so that there won’t be confusion.

ರೃ Lucinda: You want me to be your girlfriend. You want to fuck my armpits.

Lifa is… albeit slowly, raising an eyebrow. In this dark alley with only Lucinda Newhorn. Woah.

Lifa: Go ask anyone and they’ll all tell you I only said that to keep those jerks off your back. That much, Lucinda, should be extremely obvious. It will only hurt you to have suspicions when the intent is right in front of your nose.

ರೃ Lucinda: I see. I understand.

Lucinda strikes a much more relaxed pose, taking just a single step towards Lifa.

ರೃ Lucinda: So- I’m not up to your standards.

Lifa was… already scared to say the least, but now all that is moving of her is that humble chest puffing under that painter's garb, over and over. And Lucinda seems... giddy, somehow. Something in the way she moves... it reminds you of your cat. Oh god. Oh fuck. You’d very much rather be watching a horror movie than this right now.

λ Felicia: (whispering) …bonk time?

>Bonk time.
>NO no bonk time you lil shit

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>>5767409
>>NO no bonk time you lil shit
no no, keep going

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>>5767409
>NO no bonk time you lil shit
This is the episode that got the doujin train going, isn't it?

>>5767362
You see, one of the big downsides of /omniscience/ is that Erika knows better than anybody else how fucked she is when she meets someone who isn't from her sharashka. Rich girl knows when she meets Tyson Fury packed in dainty legs for better or for worse.

>>5767441
least she got long legs to outrun the predators. our group can be categorized into "the strong dumb ones" and "the weak smart ones". Jimena though is both, the Sanji of the six.

>>5767409
>No Bonk
What's the worst that can happen? :>]

>>5767362
Honestly I think all of the girls are pretty scary bitches when it comes down to it..

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>>5767338
>implying erika wants to be feared
>implying erika doesn't want to be feared
>implying teachers hadn't had nightmares about her
>implying Antonio the gay school janitor doesn't see right through her bullshit
>implying desuwa

erika isn't considered a scary bitch /compared to Lucinda/. that's like saying my coffee isn't hot compared to a volcano

>>5767441
>This is the episode that got the doujin train going, isn't it?
if there were fanart doujins of my gucas i would learn to draw and do some myself so I could inject such degree of relatable emotional and existential dread in it that the readers would end up like the Hulk trying to keep that boner up or ended up jacking off in tears

also there would be one where it's just erika counting coins and nothing else

also omglawl you even copy-pasted the continents

>Tyson Fury packed in dainty legs for better or for worse.
the difference between 1 char and 2 char

>>5767443
>least she got long legs to outrun the predators
true, but her height makes her more vulnerable to the wind. that being said, let me try
>strong dumbo:
-Rita
-Jimena
-Lucinda
>hermione granger:
-Erika
-Jimena
-Emma
>a literal infant child
-helen

>>5767446
>Honestly I think all of the girls are pretty scary bitches when it comes down to it.
emma would have ten existential crisis and be faced by 99 contradictions the moment she thinks of seriously hurting another meguca. perfectionism makes yourself your own enemy

>>5767409
>No ya lil shit

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>>5767410
>>5767441
>>5767446
>>5767605


>NO no bonk time you lil shit

When all you have is a big fucking hammer Lucinda looks like a nail- but a single fact shines through. Lucinda Newhorn never killed, or even tortured, anyone, not even for Grief Seeds, not even in dire straits. You fight the panic taking over you by mentalizing yourself… that Lucinda is a cat. Yeah! That makes sense. Kinda. Fuck it. She’s a cat; Lucinda is just a cat, and cats act like cats.
-Cats meow until you open the door, then walk inside.
-Cats rub against your legs then run when you touch them.
-Cats purr while they bite you.
-It makes total fucking sense.

Cat ears have always been a trend in the sub-world of Magical Girls (because, well, magic). You’ve been witness yourself to how famous healer/actual Coordinator Weird Eyes spreaded it all over metropolitan Buenos Aires (which is seventy times the size of the capital) by pretending that cat transformation was a side effect of her magic. Lucinda has none of that, none of the ears or tail or whiskers that became so common before the War of Broken Candles. You are sure she’d hate to have them

and yet, you consider with genuine wonder, she may resemble one the most.

ರೃ Lucinda: You are not up to my standards yourself. You are careless, slow, and you behave as if you were on the spectrum.

Lifa: I can make specters.

Lifa produces a little ethereal… fire? that floats over her hand.

Lifa: This one is that mouse over there.

The 'mouse over there' being the bottom half of a rotten carcass that’s under one of the wheels of the trash box. The grimace on Lucinda’s face reveals that even if she doesn’t have feelings she sure has a sense of taste. You will tell Felicia nothing.

ರೃ Lucinda: You've made my point for me.

Lifa: Because I'm joking? Because I try to lighten the mood? Is that what makes me an autist? I am aware of the context- I just react differently.

ರೃ Lucinda: And what did you achieve by… reacting differently, as you call it?

Lucinda’s signature stare of cold inquisition shows, as usual, no other intent than plain curiosity- but you think she’s judging.

Lifa: I’m calmer now.

ರೃ Lucinda: And why is that?

Lifa does what Lucindon't: she smiles.

Lifa: Because I gave you a reason to be mad at me and you didn’t take it.

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Lucinda tilts her head sideways. Surprisingly, she isn’t meeting Lifa blow for blow.

ರೃ Lucinda: And, what makes you know I’m not angry right now?

Lifa: Maybe you are. I can’t read your mind. All I know is you didn’t act upon it and I've decided that's good enough.

ರೃ Lucinda: I could still act upon it now. I could prove you wrong.

Lifa: I wouldn't regret it. The stray cats bite me sometimes. That won't stop me from trying to pet them.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

ರೃ Lucinda: So; you risked death just to be calmer?

Lifa shakes her head.

Lifa: I was right there when those rich guys were trying to pick you up, remember? I saw you be patient. All I did right now was prove what I already thought.

Lucinda… backs off, and crosses both arms under her chest. Rotating her head bit by bit, she studies Lifa- and you wonder if she’s aware of how those bright cold eyes look to all others.

ರೃ Lucinda: I am patient, then.

Lifa: I never said that you weren’t, Lucinda. I just said I had to think about it. I didn’t say you weren’t up to my standards; you did.

ರೃ Lucinda: I never thought that I wasn’t. Not for a second.

Lifa blinks, already visibly wounded.

ರೃ Lucinda: You want me to chase your approval so you can get to know me better because the moment you do your part of the contract you’ll have nothing on me. I would keep you alive and that’s it.

Lifa: Explain.

ರೃ Lucinda: There is nothing to explain. At the very least those men went for their prey; you, on the other hand, are laying bait. Taking your time to think.

Lifa opens her mouth.

ರೃ Lucinda: Take your time to think.

…wow, she offered. And the other took it. At this point, you wonder how they even put up with the smell; Felicia already tried to leave twice.

Lifa: You think I want the same as those men.

She pauses a bit more, but Lucinda doesn’t rush her.

Lifa: I know it’s tempting to think otherwise, but human emotions are complex. I’m complex. You are complex. And even those morons have a degree of complexity about them.

ರೃ Lucinda: Interesting of you to say that. Because, so far

Lucinda turns around with likely involuntary ballet reflexes.

ರೃ Lucinda: I’ve been finding emotions to be quite simple… Lifa.

She walks away- but stops short.

ರೃ Lucinda: If you won’t do this for me, I’ll just look for another necromancer. I’m sure wanting loved ones back is quite a normal wish.

Lifa: You don’t want people to know you because you don’t want to be judged as well.

Lucinda stops dead in her tracks and turns around, her blue eyes shining like broken LEDs in the night

but Lifa just looks fucking miserable.

Lifa: Do you still want me to answer that question?

The Fucknado walks away.

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WELL;;;;; that was a fucking disaster. Game Over, I guess. You took Felicia back to the same street cafe she nuked with the best fighting game ever to eat burritos, and the police were there. What do you know? Whether that’s because of Felicia or because the waiter did end up calling them here- you’ll never know.
Felicia herself doesn’t seem to care not one bit as she bites bits of taco. You think that the world would definitively heal if everyone was as easy to content as her; people would just gift each other tacos and fall in love. The only caveat to such paradise is that tacos end, and Felicia made short work of hers too fast. The rest bitch face is back.

λ Felicia: We goin home or what?

You consider it- sadly enough. Your poor win streak… What will you even tell the girls? Of very course you aren’t worried about bringing bad news to the Law of Cycles, no, you are /very/ worried about bringing those NAGGERS good news and validation! You won’t hear the end of this one, and it’s been eons since you started.

λ Felicia: Blonde psycho was so scary… but the weirdo painter girl is like Iroha onee-chan!

Hmm, you can see it. Clumsy, kind, brave, weak- and fucks up royal consistently too. Your eyes feel sharp; despite your pessimism, it’s hard to deny that there was some chemistry going down there, of some sort. You can’t quite put your finger on it- but the core of it is that Lucinda asked things and Lifa gave her answers. It’s pretty basic, it may not be enough- but maybe it’s at least worth some meddling.

Hmm. As Felicia destroys her third burrito, like Lifa, you take your time to ponder. Is divine intervention the answer? Or do you not even know the question?

...

Oh well- whatevah! What's some meddling wont to do, right guys? It's always the answer. Maybe not to them. Certainly to you, cuz it's fun.

Even though not meddling last time was the right answer and the very only reason there's still any sort of hope.

You are their goddess. You deserve this. Question is- who does too?
>Go check up on Lucinda.
>Go check up on Lifa.

Time to make that second date yourself- with some psy-ops! But what’s the easiest way?

>>5767767
>Go check up on Lifa.
Weird Eyes the furry who tried to turn a little girl into a cat

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>>5767767
>Go check up on Lucinda.
as far as matchmaking goes this one fucking sucked but this one didn't end in twincest is bestcest so we'll take it. as far as clusterfucks go i'm pretty proud of this one
if you think about it the endgame is already decided no matter what so might as well fuck around. Lucinda will always only accept logic and nothing else, but we can keep pushing her curiosity for wacky results

>>5767770
i don't like that name

>>5767767
>Go check up on Lucinda.
As we already know the result of this, I say we pick the options that will give Madokami the most headaches-per-gucas.

>>5767767
>Go check up on Lucinda.
Fucknado Watch is GO. Good thing she has such a cool and amazing friend like Ritalin to watch out for her now! Besties!

>Hmm, today I will check /qst/, surely nothing interesting is happening.
>On this week in particular,
>When I’m in Hurghada on vacation,
>For the holiday I’ve been waiting for years to do,
>With mediocre hotel Wi-Fi,
>Away from all my electronics except my phone,

>NEW MEGUCA DROPS THE DAY OF MY LEAVE APPARENTLY.
>ITS A LUCINDA THREAD.

Hello my fellow niggucas, Lucinda phoneposting over here.
Just letting you know I’m alive.
I have the worst timing.

>>5767943
glad to see you bitch, hope you like it

>>5767943
Have fun mate, know that you WILL get scammed at the local shops and blow up the Suez Canal for us if you can.

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>>5767777
>>5767847
>>5767854

>Go check up on Lucinda.

Maybe you wouldn’t recommend a little girl to spy on a famous psycho, mostly if said psycho is out for her specific throat- but you are curious, what can you do. Thankfully enough, criminals always come back to the scene of the crime, and even if in this case said crime wasn’t hers Lucinda is back for more coffee. If it’s her, you’ll take it; she could paint a target on her back and the bullet would still end up in either asscheek of her stalker. Of course, you aren’t about to go tell her that her spotless track record isn’t at stake; you tell Felicia to book it. You already know where Lady Lu lives. Operation Heart Melter is a go!

—----

The Newhorn residency looks, as usual, like a Van Gogh that was painted with turds for brushes. You’d love to know how they even got a gargoyle at the entrance because stealing one of those can’t be easy. Two hours later shows up the heiress to the castle of shit, immaculate as ever, and you remember that she rejected three modeling contracts.

λ Felicia: (whispering) Why is everyone so mad about her? I don’t get it.

You tell her that Lucinda’s one true appeal (besides her overwhelming beauty) is that she kept on rejecting very important people, that most people want her just to gloat to the rest- to be ‘the one’. You ask Felicia, who still doesn’t get it, if she’d like to be the first to climb the biggest mountain in the world.

λ Felicia: (whispering) What, that would be awesome! But, haven’t they done that already?

Many died climbing the Everest- but nobody made it to the peak of Mount Newhorn. The door opens. You jump from Felicia’s shoulder and sneak behind Lucinda, who turns around to close the door too late to see you.

ರೃ Lucinda: I’m home.

As usual, only darkness and the black trash bags at the foot of the staircase greet her- the same as yesterday. The castle of this princess seems unusually still today, which is a great start. The Magical Girl’s red and black satchel bounces with every step she takes up the stairs; she didn't even turn on the lights. You look at those hole-ridden bags leaking nameless liquids on the rug; no wonder she didn’t mind the smell back at the dark alley. Once on the second floor, you wait until Lucinda is up to her usual ‘super intense hand-washing’ ritual before rushing into her room. You will watch her from the roof of that wardrobe, the one that's a repurposed coffin, which is almost entirely occupied by a single boxing punching bag.

When she comes back and sits, Lucinda doesn’t undo her hair, she doesn’t change clothes either- she always remains ready.

It doesn’t worry you, though: she’s always like this.

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Lucinda Newhorn’s strife didn’t begin with her wish. At some point in her younger years, while she still had her hair done in drill curls, the structures that were supposed to protect her took a very sharp turn. She found herself getting courted by the likes of teachers and policemen with but a single foot inside highschool, and found that nobody was willing to stand between her and the authorities that used to protect her.

Some didn’t even want to own her.
Some just wanted to see her burn.

That’s how it started. Pepper spray, pocket knives, secret recorders, portable yet deafeningly strong alarms, a lot of self-taught boxing… that life of comfort following orders was over. Her gift in violence was made redundant when she became a Magical Girl- but the world didn’t change. You’ve seen it all, from the shadows. Stalking prospect Magical Girls is how you’ve spent the past fifty years.

You lean a bit over the ledge of the wardrobe, not entirely not scared. You’ve seen Lucinda sleep outside or stand under the rain for hours but it seems she also found freedom on the Internet, freedom surprisingly often spent looking at cars on shopping websites- right now, she’s checking the specifications on a Ford Torino. Fancy stuff there, Lucinda. Other times you’ve caught her checking out traveling spots, music videos, job boards, and trivia on celebrities, way too normal stuff for such a dreaded monster. Well, she DOES answer spam emails with death threats (one sender even apologized) and she does only play a single video game and no other, and that game is Need For Speed Underground 2 from like twenty years ago- but that’s it for her quirks.

That, and the fact that she never had friends at any point.

Hmm, it’s getting closer to the time when the Fucknado goes to that abandoned factory backyard to train. It happens every day and without fail, and doesn’t stop until she’s out of breath.

Hmmmmmm…!! You wonder why someone as efficient as her isn’t already looking for an alternative or a replacement necromancer… muhu! Muhuhuhuu!! That being said, she isn’t texting Lifa yet, and that’s bad Lucinda, I want you to write to her

but how do I make you? Hmm. What can I do that would make you try?

>Write In!

There’s all sorts of stuff in this house since both her parents are hardcore hoarders. With a little digging, you could find pretty much anything in here…

i know guys, this one is very open, lemme have my fun lawl. if its too vague, ill put on some choices and thats it

>>5767777
which name?
also dem get

>>5767854
shes not a bestie if she doesnt leave you to be turned into milkshake

>>5767943
but dude that's fucking awesome, go have fun, go kill vampires, go fuck up stand users
dont worry; your lucinda is in good hands l a w l e. we gonna be in bigguca mode for a while and worst come to worst we start with family friendly fun with erika and jimena in prison with suicide cultists and thats it

srsly, im happy here that you made it to your trip. enjoy!

>>5767065
>i don't know where i'm going with this. never take shit for granted
its not always about making a point, just getting your feelings out there is good enough

>>5768418
>A broken globe

>>5768418
>A torn-up stuffed animal from long ago
Man, if only the things we care about could be FIXED... gee... if ONLY...

>>5768418
>a lighter. start a trashfire

>>5768418
To avoid a tie I'll just switch to >>5768860
Jime's idea. CHAOS REIIIIIIGNS

>>5767943
That sounds rad, hope you have a good time over there! Don't worry, we'll take care of Ole' Luce!>>5767847

>>5769191
too late lmao post is already written

>>5769194
also all choices are included anyway. also yes im growing the post count artificially

>>5769197
voluptuous phalluses

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Lucinda went from searching for car pics on Google Images to- searching for RV pics on Google Images. And she doesn’t shy away from the classy ones. A house within a car, super expensive and hard to maintain, that trades more luxury for functionality than most people are willing to give up- and yet, it makes sense.

You quickly leave Lucinda to frown over price tags (with good reason) by herself and sneaky sneaky head down the stairs and towards the. It takes a few little hops but you turn on the light, and, despite being four all over the wide room, the floor is so buried that you cannot see it. Boxes, trinkets, coats, and devices that would be alien to anyone already litter the floor among MANY other items. And rats. Oh god, so many rats. Neither Norberto nor Laura, Lucinda’s parents, have been strangers to this dumpster for too long; scavenging this pile is pretty much their full-time job. Yet the rats thrive.

Unlike them, you aren’t looking for old valuables to pawn but for specific items. Those are:

>A broken globe
>A torn-up stuffed animal from long ago
>A lighter

You make your way through with carefully calculated leaps since hardly anything isn’t covered in grease and whatever covers the floor could melt you. Yes, you are sure.

>A broken globe

Despite their intended use, Planet Earth globes are more often found on the fields of elementary schools because poor kids don’t often own real footballs. The one you found has been stabbed instead of kicked. For whatever reason, the hole is over England.
>A torn-up stuffed animal from long ago

The forgotten plushie; a classic. One day, you wake up to find out that your furry and loving friend went on a trip… then you keep waiting for it to come back for years. Wherever you are, Big Snout, I hope you find the end of the end of the rainbow and that your boss doesn’t overwork you more than twice a week. With teary eyes and shaking lips, you decide this is not the time for this. You pick up a raccoon plushie with Coca-Cola bottle caps for eyes. In its way, it's endearing.

>A lighter

Sneaky sneaky, you head for the kitchen; any second not spent in that graveyard of dreams is a second spared from Hell. There is no Hell, of course, but you /could/ make it. In fact, why not? The lighter you find is red and transparent, and doesn’t have much juice left. No problem. A spark is always enough when you know where to put it- and this will be the spark to melt Lucinda’s heart!

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In the darkness of the kitchen, you check your items. The wounded globe will remind the blonde of the damage she did, the half-digested raccoon will bring back her childhood, and setting the whole basement on fire will make her think of the intensity of the feelings she harbors deep inside the basement of her mind- or not. Who knows. What you DO know is that you are the Inquisition and that this unholy dumpster buried in floating trash WILL be purified in your name. Because fuck you.

As you climb up the stairs, as the tiny spark you left rallies others to your cause, and the faint scent of smoke cleans your nostrils, you head up yet another floor. Now, she has to find these herself. The second floor has five more rooms across the hallway, all wet, ruined, and also victims of hoarding. You pick the farthest one from Lucinda’s room and put the broken globe on a box, then leave the raccoon plushie sitting over the frameless mattress on the floor. Thankfully, nobody would bat an eye about finding random shit laying around in this house.

With utter care, slowly, sloooowly, you break the balance of the box which you put on a putrid leather desk because, the moment it falls, Lucinda WILL come guns blazing fully transformed and perfectly ready to both divide and multiply you at the same time and any millisecond you can save matters. You push the box again; then again;; then again;;;; oh god it’s not coming back

You jump
as if a train on fire made of dynamite was coming
you jump right into the little air vent dent on the wall
as Lucinda bolts in like a wrecking ball covered in butterflies.

You DO NOT move. Lucinda’s perception is based on movement and not as sharp as most think, she also isn’t that quick to react either- but she’s always ready. After years of getting ganked, the Fucknado’s alertness became permanent- she sleeps with one eye open just like a dolphin. Some minutes later her scythe is still primed over her shoulder, yet, despite her weakness in picking up details, Lucinda does finally notice the broken globe on the floor- and untransforms.

She picks it up. It’s deflated, and more liquid than plastic at this point- but the shape and the blue and green almost need time to think. Then there’s the hole in England, showing the dark within. Turning the globe around and around, the Magical Girl doesn’t seem to find what she seeks; Lucinda flings it away like a frisbee.

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You follow her back into her room dragging the smelly raccoon across the floor with your mouth, praying to whoever is bigger than you that she never finds you. Finally climbing the coffin/wardrobe after she turns around, you spy that Lucinda is on her cellphone, and that she’s spying on Lifa’s chat, and that she’s reading the whole thing over and over again- and that she's restless. Jackpot.

Yet, reminding a psycho that she treated a weirdo like shit isn’t doing enough. Plan B. For lack of a better idea, you hide that putrid toy under her bed; you'll hope she thinks it was always there but that a rat took a dump on it. And although time was short, and despite Lucinda being used to atrocious smells, this one was quick to call her.

As the girl lifts the plushy to shoulder height, she’s… looking straight at the raccoon’s bottle-cap eyes. Hers, cold and analytical as usual, are fixed on the dregs that once were a loved friend. Odds are, she's trying to look within herself. You then remember /there was a question/ that Lifa never got to answer, and that it was related to animals... and if she’s trying to answer it herself, odds are, Lucinda will fall short.

Just like that, she’s texting Lifa.

Or, at the very least, trying, as she writes messages and then erases them over and over. The drafts she writes vary wildly, and you think she’s waiting for one to ‘click’ with her, which is never going to happen because she’s Lucinda fucking Newhorn. The question was ‘Why do you care about what happens to the animal afterwards?’ and attempts to answer it include:

-‘You wouldn’t care because animals suffer anyway’
-‘Answer the question’
-‘You wouldn’t care because animals murder too’
-‘You wouldn’t care because it’s them that suffer, not you’
-‘Don’t call me ever again’
-’You wouldn’t care because you wouldn’t know’
-’Stop wasting my time and call me’

and many etc. And what do you know... Despite Lucinda’s attempts at perfecting the perfect greeting, Lifa sends her a message first.


Teasing Teacher Studios, debut 19/2/2023 <3:
Hello

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It very much seems that she saw the ‘Lucinda is writing…’ being printed over and over over ten minutes. And yet, despite obviously leaving it on 'seen', Lucinda ignores the cell phone for like five minutes to look at cars- then five more minutes. /Then/ she answers.

Lucinda Newhorn:
What do you want?

You SIGH. But Lifa seems to take it in stride.

Teasing Teacher Studios, debut 19/2/2023 <3:
I was thinking about today
I want to talk about it
Do you
?

Lucinda Newhorn:
Will you revive my mammoth or not?

And that's how 'thinking time' starts. Apparently, it would seem, as the researchers say, Lucinda doesn’t seem to like it one fucky bit when it’s the recipient that takes its sweet little time to answer. To think that it’s already past training time and she’s still waiting.

Teasing Teacher Studios, debut 19/2/2023 <3:
I have a condition

Lucinda Newhorn:
No conditions. Yes or no.

Teasing Teacher Studios, debut 19/2/2023 <3:
Don’t you want to hear it first
?
maybe it’s something easier than finding another necromancer

Lucinda Newhorn:
Fine.

Teasing Teacher Studios, debut 19/2/2023 <3:
Come on over to my house
No funny business or anything I promise
i live with my mom and grandma
and we'll save on coffee

Lucinda Newhorn:
You don’t learn.

Teasing Teacher Studios, debut 19/2/2023 <3:
I do
that’s my condition
and it has always been my condition right from the start
for me to get to know you

Well; that’s still true, but- straight home? Isn’t that like skipping eight or nine steps in relationship building? Bringing someone home to your parents has even more weight than sex. That’s bold, Lifa. MAYBE too bold.

Lucinda Newhorn:
So it's the standards again

Teasing Teacher Studios, debut 19/2/2023 <3:
no
im reviving the mammoth anyway

...You are slightly confused. But, Lucinda is texting.

Lucinda Newhorn:
I see. I’ll play your game. I will go where you live and you will revive my mammoth. But nothing more and never again.
I’d lower my expectations if I were you.

Well... kinda weird stuff, not gonna lie. But you'll take it. If anything, at least it's clear that Lifa is somewhat of a thorn in Lucinda's paw.

Whatever. Your track record is safe. Cuz we has a date!

(cont in a bit aaaaa)

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You’ve been waiting for the sun to rise ever since it went down. These two days you’ve left Felicia to her own devices, to wander in and get lost in the vastness of Buenos Aires- with some hard cash won through crypto scamming. You love humanity so much that you sacrifice holy minutes to teach idiots to not be idiots.

First came back the sun, then Felicia dressed like a gaucho. Turns out, all the girl with what little time she had on Earth was eat Argentinian asado- but can you blame her?

λ Felicia: Hey! Madoka! If I’m only going to wait again then tell me right now!

Someone is eager to fling shit at people, it seems. But, the gremlin has a point; being on standby means you don’t do anything else. To people like her, that’s just plain torture. You still don’t have the heart to tell her that her suspicions may make sense. At least the view from the rooftop right in front of Lifa’s house is nice, a house that is, funny enough, an actual, honest-to-goodness mini-mannor,

λ Felicia: You know, I was with a real cow! And all the legs were at least THIS thick, and she was black here and here and here. See?

You tell her you see.

λ Felicia: I couldn’t lift it. Wanna know what I called her? I called her ‘grumpy’ because she kept running away from me. Grumpy the cow.

Anyone else would have called it ‘Meal For 7’ or ‘Fuckface’ or something along those lines, but not Felicia. There is no hint of irony or sarcasm in her choice of words, it’s not a play on anything, it doesn’t rhyme: the cow was grumpy so she called it Grumpy, and Felicia loved it because she likes meat. The funny thing is, you’d bet at least five thousand eons that she’d rather starve to death than hurt a cow. You dread the day someone tells her about the farms. You’ve been dreading it for too long.

Lucinda Newhorn has been spotted- carrying a suitcase.

You jump from Felicia’s shoulder.

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The stainless steel gate door in front of Lucinda has no wood whatsoever, yet it resembles a tree. Its branches connect with the floor and make up the fence, which is between two thick marble columns shaped like torches- the whole thing is excentric in itself. If this is where Lifa lives then, well… no wonder she became seclusive! The tall trees inside the house cover your view, but at least from here you can see, behind the impressive door, the narrow, long wooden bridge spanning over what seems like an actual fucking koi pond

from where Lifa is coming from right now.

The tree-shaped steel gate opens towards the house, its bottom scratching the floor at times with a painful sound that drowns the small waterfalls within.

Lifa: H-hey there. Come on in.

She stands in front of Lucinda, visibly nervous, this time wearing only shorts and a Dragon Ball shirt so long that it acts like a dress. You’d think Lifa is a boy if she wasn’t so skinny. Not even greeting back, Lucinda walks past her and you sneak in; but the view lands a blow on the fake princess. Stuck in place, yet still expressionless, the not-actually-rich blonde looks at the carps, at the columns, at the bridge, at the big rocks, the fake waterfalls, the wicker chairs at the side of the pond… She just looks, for a while, no less than absorbed by the environment; then she just walks away as if nothing had happened. Lifa follows Lady Lu to her own house.

ರೃ Lucinda: I have been grounded, so be quick about this.

Lifa: Grounded?

ರೃ Lucinda: My mother and father believe I tried to burn down my house.

Lifa: …what?!

Lucinda doesn’t answer. They are met by an unassuming white door made of wood that, up close, is very rich with details. It’s surrounded by walls that are covered in vines and leaves everywhere except for the windows.

Lifa: Well, we will have some time to talk. Um, I’m going to introduce you to my ma and granny…

ರೃ Lucinda: So?

Lifa: They will offer you food, and, they like to insist a lot. Don’t take it the wrong way.

Well, that’s not a warning you give to normal people- but despite Lucinda’s frowning the fact is that, like A said, her reputation precedes her.

ರೃ Lucinda: There will be no problem.

Lifa: I, um, also told them that you are a model I hired to pose for me. I, I draw a lot, so…

Lifa looks at Lucinda, who looks as nothing as ever.

Lifa: It’s just an excuse. Nothing else. You won’t have to do anything.

ರೃ Lucinda: Ok.

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By the time Lifa brings the tray with the jam cookies and the orange juice and can finally sit down, her grandma is already way on her way talking to Lucinda
and the damage has already been done.

Grandma: What do your robot friends do, butterfly? Tell me about em!

ರೃ Lucinda: Robots don’t have friends.

Grandma: Me neither, all my friends are dead. Let’s be friends.

ರೃ Lucinda: Ok.

Grandma: Who fixes you when you get bad? Where do you sleep?

ರೃ Lucinda: We fix ourselves. We do not need to sleep.

Grandma: What music do you like?

ರೃ Lucinda: We cannot enjoy music. We do not have feelings.

Grandma: Then what makes you happy?

ರೃ Lucinda: We do not need to be happy.

Grandma: (laughs) Then you are already better than us!

Lifa takes a seat. She looks defeated.

Grandma: All those waffles trying to ‘be happy’- and what do they do? Steal little kids! Poison the seas and the fish! Torture those poor cows! And they have us like ants here anyway!

Thank fuck you left Felicia behind.

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Lifa: Grandma, you can be happy without ruining someone else’s life, you know? Not everything is about money.

Yet her grandma shrugs the thought off with a wave of her hand. As if it was an annoying fly.

Grandma: With money, YOU LIVE. Without money, you DON’T. How can you be happy without money?!

Lifa: It’s NOT-

Grandma: If them robots can be more human than us then it’s a welcome change I say! Welcome! We already failed at being good God-fearing Christians. It’s their time! Don’t make our mistakes and you can have as many cookies as you want.

ರೃ Lucinda: Thank you. Beep bop.

Grandma: You welcome, my robot friend!

You and Lifa share a brain-cell: what the fuck is going on? Lifa stands, most likely out of pure instinct, and rushes up the spiral staircase behind her until she’s halfway at the top.

Lifa: We’ll be upstairs for a bit. ‘Miss Model’ here is in a bit of a hurry.

ರೃ Lucinda: You should thank her for the tea first.

The grandma bursts out laughing, then coughing because she’s old.

Grandma: Oh, no, you ain’t gonna fix this one! Save yourself some screws, my little robot butterfly- she has factory defects! Hahahaha!

Lifa has her cheeks puffed to the extreme- but doesn’t retaliate.

Lifa: No; she’s right. Thank you for the tea.

And she bolts upstairs. Lucinda stands at her own pace and bows.

ರೃ Lucinda: Thank you for the tea.

She follows Lifa up the stairs-

Grandma: How much is ten thousand and eight times nine and a half?

ರೃ Lucinda: A million and a half.

The grandma laughs even more.

Grandma: Nice try, you liar! But I know you are programmed to fail on purpose! You don’t need to pretend to be human here. Goodbye!

Lucinda nods and follows Lifa, taking the suitcase with her.

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Lifa: This is my room. Don’t be scared now.

It’s the simplest, most innocent oak door ever- although it is fancy. There are no posters or anything glued to it; just pure wood.

ರೃ Lucinda: I’m not afraid of you in the least.

Lifa: We’ll see.

It’s… something in Lifa’s voice, you believe, that got Lucinda to turn to her so quickly. But it’s too late. The door is open. There is no stepping back from knowledge.

Lifa: Come on in.

Lucinda looks at Lifa… but does step in. You got in the moment they shared that /look/. The completely normal oak door is sealed shut. Lucinda nods to herself.

ರೃ Lucinda: You better explain yourself.

Lucinda doesn’t need to add an edge to her voice to be scary, since her words are backed by simple facts of violence- but Lifa, while still nervous, doesn’t seem afraid in the least. The room is a studio, that is crystal-clear. A very wide, arched drawing board like that of an architect’s stands against the mirror, surrounded by wall-mounted computers, a tall drawer, and a normal, messy table buried under electronics, empty cookie bags, more than four empty cups of tea, keyboards, and a LOT of pages full of drafts. Lucinda looks back at the board, because resting on it is a big drawing tablet, and there’s something drawn on it.

Lifa: I was halfway through it by the time you arrived.

Lucinda dares to look at the posters on the walls again, of voluptuous 2D females. Some are showing some skin. Others are downright naked.

ರೃ Lucinda: You are- an otaku.

Lifa blinks.

Lifa: I am, but more importantly- I’m an erotic artist. A yuri mangaka.

ರೃ Lucinda: ...You are talking about Yuri Gagarin, correct?

Hands shaking despite her bravado, Lifa points at the screen behind her. Lucinda walks up to it; it’s a halfway-finished manga panel of two women having sex.

…

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Silently, Lucinda turns to Lifa. She doesn’t do much more than stare for a while. If judgment could be seen, well, it would look like this.

ರೃ Lucinda: …I take it that this is what you want in exchange.

And once, and firmly- Lifa shakes her head.

Lifa: Absolutely not at all in the LEAST. I don’t want you to pose. I don’t want to see you naked. I don’t want to have sex with you. None of that. If that was your assumption, then it’s completely wrong and you are wrong.

Eyes closed as she looked away, arms crossed over her null chest, Lifa delivered those sentences with more force than any other so far.

ರೃ Lucinda: Do you take me for an idiot?

Lifa: If you don’t believe me then yes, Lucinda, yes I do.

Lucinda lifts a single eyebrow, very visibly confused, a rare treat.

ರೃ Lucinda: This is the strangest strategy I’ve ever seen so far, and I can vouch for men being willing to try very interesting approaches. You are a freak.

Lifa: Because there is no strategy! I’m not trying to get into your pants at all. That’s why I’m showing you this. Can’t you see?

ರೃ Lucinda: That you are perverted? That much is quite clear.

Lifa claws her head, for the very first time seeming very, VERY frustrated- almost out of nowhere.

Lifa: I live day and night surrounded by tits and ass and pussy because that is my job and what I like to do. I watch porn for reference. I’ve hired models for reference. I had to hire prostitutes at some point for reference. I used /myself/ as reference; there’s a doujin out there about me getting fucked by /Obama/. I’ve been drawing yuri ero-manga for six years already. See? Can you see?

Lucinda is looking, but… not doing much more of anything. It’s as if Lifa had sucked the bitch energy out of her, only that Lifa can’t handle it and is imploding.

Lifa: Can’t you see?!

ರೃ Lucinda: No. No, what? What do you want me to see? The porn?

Lifa: No, Lady Lu! That no matter how pretty you are you have nothing to show me!

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She’s shrugging /hard/. You can’t tell if Lifa is angry or scared or both.

Lifa: I like tits. You can tell. I’m a connoisseur of tits, I’ve studied them like a kung fu master. I’ve already seen ten thousand million tits. See?

She’s showing Lucinda what looks like an acrylic model of two very floaty balls- wait, those are boobs.

Lifa: I use these to set up the angles and then adjust them so that the falloff of the breasts looks realistic. The ones you find on the market gloss over a lot of the details and some are straight-up rocks, so I made these babies myself. Touch them.

ರೃ Lucinda: No.

Thank fuck you left Felicia behind, again.

Lifa: Do you still think I want to fuck you? Or be your girlfriend? Or whatever? What else would I want from you? Your money? Your status? Your fame? I’m satisfied with my community, they’ve been very respectful.

There is desperation in Lifa’s voice… yet that robotic serenity remains in Lucinda’s.

ರೃ Lucinda: I simply do not know what to say. I do not know how to react to this situation.

Like a train arriving, Lifa starts slowing down. She was bringing Lucinda a mannequin with both legs spread wide open- but she keeps it.

ರೃ Lucinda: …I need time to think. I don’t know how much.

Lifa: O-of course! Take your time!

But Lucinda glances at Lifa… and turns toward the innocent door.

ರೃ Lucinda: I’m taking my leave.

Lifa: ……don’t you want the mammoth?

Lucinda isn’t looking at her… which is convenient because, once again, Lifa looks fucking miserable. Not even the mammoth is enough to keep Lucinda here.

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WELL… that means it’s time for divine intervention, pretty much! YUP! Psyops is a go, yes sir. This will end in /SOME/ way on your honor as a cupid- but no way you are going let it end in /NOTHING/.

Thankfully, you’ve done your research. While they argued, you’ve made friends with the secrets of this room (which was enlightening, to say the least), and scouted for items you could show them that could make them talk of other things. Of course (and thankfully) this isn’t Lucinda’s basement, which doesn’t exist anymore, so what you have to work with is much more limited-

but you think may just be enough!

(Pick any at the same time. You can vote for, against, or be neutral about each option)
>Lifa has a plushie. It’s an owl.
>There’s some left-over cake that’s well preserved.
>You found a book on Buddhism.
>Lucinda has a hairpin she cut off a defeated magical girl on purpose.
>There is a single dumbbell under the bell.
>You’ve seen a manga panel with a car.
>Lifa’s DNI. Her document, where her hair looks perfectly natural.
>There are sketches of Magical Girls. A-chan is in one of them.
>There are spicy sketches of Magical Girls. Weird Eyes is in one of them.
>Lucinda’s fake wristwatch.
>Lifa has one of those high school photos you take when you graduate.
>You found a fat stack of hard cash.
>There is a manga panel with very realistic food.
>Lifa also has a dildo. It has been personally signed by Marco Aurelio, CEO of Fantasy Inc.
>You found a Grief Seed.
>There is a manga panel with tentacles.
>You found a bottle like those used for hiking.
>Lucinda’s Swiss knife.
>There is a manga with ballet. Yes, they do end up fucking. The ballet is very well drawn.
>Lucinda’s satchel has her DNI.
>You found shackles.
>There is a manga panel about a sexual romance between a student and teacher, both female.
>There’s a sketch of Lucinda. It IS kinda spicy
>The wardrobe is a goldmine- of hand-made cosplays
>>But! There is a violin inside of it.
>The digital tablet is a very costly Wacom. No need to throw it.
>You found a picture of little Lifa with her family.

Neither psycho nor weirdo is good at selling herself so that part falls to you. Bringing sides of them to the light may make them like each other more- or have the complete opposite effect. At any rate, it seems this is as bad as this could get!


…Hmmm! But why not?

(Pick only one)
>Make Lucinda fall on top of Lifa.
>Make Lifa fall on top of Lucinda.
>Don’t make anyone fall on top of anyone else.

aight guis there you go. i know ive been skimming on the choices so i put on like ten million choices and they are all relevant

no for real i try to write shorter posts and I CANT

Rolled 9 (1d27)

>>5769864
The dice guide my choice.
>Don’t make anyone fall on top of anyone else.

>>5769864
If I just burned down the basement... and currently inuniverse Lucinda left her parents + mammoth in the not-burnt basement, I wonder if butterfly effect is a thing. I hope I didn't time paradox us into a bad ending or whatever.
>Lucinda has a hairpin she cut off a defeated magical girl on purpose.
i want the story behind this
>You’ve seen a manga panel with a car.
luci loves her cars...
>There are sketches of Magical Girls. A-chan is in one of them.
>There are spicy sketches of Magical Girls. Weird Eyes is in one of them.
fucking insufferable bitches the both of them
>You found a fat stack of hard cash.
>There is a manga panel with very realistic food.
this is Jimena's shit
>Lifa also has a dildo. It has been personally signed by Marco Aurelio, CEO of Fantasy Inc.
big fan of this dude
>You found a Grief Seed.
memento mori
>The wardrobe is a goldmine- of hand-made cosplays
>>But! There is a violin inside of it.
give more sad luci backstory
>Make Lucinda fall on top of Lifa.
otherwise she would just phase and let lifa fall... but what if she doesn't
>Scratch that, make Lifa fall on top of Lucinda.

>>5769864
The plot thickens! Oh Luce, what are we gonna do with you?

>Lucinda has a hairpin she cut off a defeated magical girl on purpose.
Ooooh spill the beannnns
>Lifa has one of those high school photos you take when you graduate.
Let's see what happened before she became a complete and utter degenerate
>There’s a sketch of Lucinda. It IS kinda spicy
I feel like Luce would notice this pretty quickly... gotta keep stirring the pot!
>The wardrobe is a goldmine- of hand-made cosplays
There'd better be Lady or Dante up in this motherfucker
>But! There is a violin inside of it.
Woah shit, we gotta play that thing
>You found a picture of little Lifa with her family.
Look how happy she used to look!

I'ma go with these. As for the other option...
>Don’t make anyone fall on top of anyone else.
As wacky as this situation is I'm like 90% certain Luce will tear this girl to shreds if she so much as bumps her right now

>>5769890
and fuck it, let's also add the
>You found a Grief Seed
>>5769868
>write shorter posts
Shut the hell up, we love your big postin

>>5769848
nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkk

i skipped an entire post!!

------------------------------

Lifa nods and knocks. You wonder what her family thinks of her. You don’t have to wonder much. A visibly energetic yet very old woman opens the door.

Grandma: AYYYY hellooo!!

Her glasses are as thick as a bottle. From them, the eyes of Lifa’s grandmother seem a lot closer than they are- and make it pretty obvious that she’s looking at Lucinda. You cover your eyes with your ears. You don’t have the balls to see this.

Grandma: Oh hello Miss Model. They make them prettier every day.

Lifa blinks and blinks- then sighs violently.

Lifa: No, NO, not THAT kind of model. Art model, art model! Gran, Lucinda isn’t a robot… the AI hasn’t gotten that far yet…!

Grandma: Good try trying to fool me little ladybug, but I’ve been watching THE NEWS.

ರೃ Lucinda: I am indeed an advanced model of artificial intelligence.

Lifa’s face twists completely.

Grandma: See? Too easy. She’s just too pretty, like those 3Ds you are so crazy about. Miss Model, butterfly, would you like some tea? Alondra set the table. Move that butt.

Awestruck, Lifa pauses.

Lifa: OH no we don’t ha

ರೃ Lucinda: (bowing) I’ll be in your care.

And just like that, Lifa is left alone, likely as shocked as you are.

Lifa: …why would she drink tea if she’s a robot?!

Her complaints aren’t heard by anyone else.

>>5769864
>Lucinda has a hairpin she cut off a defeated magical girl on purpose.
>There are spicy sketches of Magical Girls. Weird Eyes is in one of them.
>You found a Grief Seed.
>You’ve seen a manga panel with a car.
>Lifa’s DNI. Her document, where her hair looks perfectly natural.
Things that could clear some water between them and get us more info.

>Make Lucinda fall on top of Lifa.
Lifa anime-falling on Lucinda sounds like a quick way to get her send to the ER.

>>5769896
really the update worked even without this, don't worry about it

>>5769868
aight guys so far we have

>Lucinda has a hairpin she cut off a defeated magical girl on purpose. +3
>Lifa has one of those high school photos you take when you graduate. +1
>There’s a sketch of Lucinda. It IS kinda spicy. +1
>You’ve seen a manga panel with a car. +2
>There are sketches of Magical Girls. A-chan is in one of them. +1
>There are spicy sketches of Magical Girls. Weird Eyes is in one of them. +2
>You found a picture of little Lifa with her family. +1
>You found a fat stack of hard cash. +1
>There is a manga panel with very realistic food. +1
>Lifa also has a dildo. It has been personally signed by Marco Aurelio, CEO of Fantasy Inc. +1
>You found a Grief Seed. +2
>The wardrobe is a goldmine- of hand-made cosplays +3
>>But! There is a violin inside of it. +3
>Lifa’s DNI. Her document, where her hair looks perfectly natural. +1

and
>Make Lucinda fall on top of Lifa. +1
>Make Lifa fall on top of Lucinda. +1
>Don’t make anyone fall on top of anyone else. +2

ill give it a bit more for you guys to vote for or against while we give emma and lucinda a bit more time. odds are both are busy, but this is the lucinda thread that emmanon wished for lawl (jk its all my fault)

>>5769870
i kinda don get how the dice would OH i see look helenanon you can pick all you want this time, not just one

aight votes closed in like an hour

there are like 20 prompts

short posts were a dream and im already a man

Lifa just pomfs on the bed behind her, covered in an ahegao sheet thankfully buried under her clothes. She doesn’t retort. The myriad monitors above the antique drawing board bear witness as Lucinda… doesn’t do anything. And they stay like that; Lucinda facing the door, Lifa silently letting a few tears run away. The floor is fake wood tiles and socks lying around. Lucinda hesitating…

ರೃ Lucinda: Why are you crying?

The thorniest Magical Girl has turned around, but the horniest is still watching her drops drop. You wonder if the air conditioner above the window is turned on or even works, the air is cold and clean on a sunny day yet half the window is open.

Lifa: I’m not your human/emotions translator. Go. Away.

ರೃ Lucinda: You are melodramatic. It’s annoying me.

Lifa: Then. Go. Away.

Giving Lucinda Newhorn commands is… not exactly orthodox. But this one she may have followed

if you hadn’t dropped twenty thousand dollars right on the pointy tip of her crocodile skin high heel.

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>A fat stack of hard cash.

People often attribute coincidence to causality- a mistake you’ll use in your favor. Your first choice was dropping something that simply couldn’t be ignored, and you know Lifa’s grandma would have agreed with you. Lucinda does, by the looks of it.

Lifa: You know, I-

The necromancer looks up only to find her guest as awestruck as Lucinda can be (which isn’t a lot), holding what can only either be the yurimancer's life savings or just what's left of her latest paycheck.

Lifa: Lucinda, what are you doing?

ರೃ Lucinda: What is this? I know what this is. Do not explain it to me.

Lifa just closes her mouth. Finally, Lucinda is addressing her properly again.

ರೃ Lucinda: Where did this come from?

The way the fake princess is looking at those bills… you know a few patterns. It’s not exactly ‘greed’, it’s not exactly ‘desire’ either. There is something sacred in the way she looks, something truly deep, and, to you, extremely tragic… but you fail to name it. Yet sheepishly is how tiny Planet Earth looks away- but when she speaks you spy a hint of pride.

Lifa: I’m not saying this to be mean, Lucinda, but I’m sure you can join the dots yourself.

ರೃ Lucinda: So, you are like a prostitute yourself. You prostitute your creativity.

….daaaaaaaaamn. You know, Luci, there are far kinder ways to say that. But, right, at this point it's obvious that she wouldn’t know

which Lifa herself seems to believe too, since she isn’t getting all red and screamy.

Yet, the necromancer speaks fast.

Lifa: You know, as offensive as you sound, I think that you may be onto something here, you know? Prostitutes, to succeed in the market, have to be very disciplined with their bodies. They go to the gym, go out on runs on weekends, do sports, eat healthily, and they have to learn how to look good, how to talk dirty, how to fuck well, and knowing the depths of my craft I can't imagine just how many other etceteras.

ರೃ Lucinda: I am not-

Lifa: All of those take discipline, and they also have to live with being looked down upon, and the people on the light side of the moon take all of that for granted.

ರೃ Lucinda: I was not-

Lifa: I do sexual content. It’s not a walk in the park. I’ve sold or gifted video games I liked so I could focus on drawing well. I've sketched for as long as I can remember. I sold my PS4 console right when it came out to pay the first bill of my first digital tablet which my brother then broke like two weeks after.

Like an old steam engine, Lifa finally runs out of breath. Her breathing is unsteady. She wipes off the wet lines on her cheek with the back of her hand.

ರೃ Lucinda: I was not offensive. Do not interrupt me anymore.

The necromancer, with all the valid reasons in the galaxy, first addresses Lucinda Model N with furrowed brows… but even those lighten up in the face of Lucinda’s unwavering static stare.

Lifa: Ok.

And after some serious hesitation… Lucinda gives the fat stack of bills back. Alright, we’ve got some momentum! Let’s help them know each other for the sake of the cosmos. The cosmos… the cosmos? You feel something pressing on your shoulder- your actual, gigantic, impossibly gigantic shoulder.

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It’s, of course, the Law of Cycles, and you hate whoever put it there because things were getting interesting. However, there’s something different about it- something alien- and it looks like a scoreboard. Where the points would be instead is the pixelated face of an old friend, Hitomi Shizuki, who eons ago said that girls can’t love girls.

Magical Girl from Tokime Village: This, oh Goddess, is the Forbidden Love Counter. Through it, we will judge you-

Magical Girl from Futatsugi: -as usual-

Magical Girl from Mitakihara: -but with points!

…nnnnnnnNope, nope you won’t. You turn your shoulder from the seventy-seven hundredth trillion kilometers CRTV floating in space until all those girls can see is the back of your head. Petty, but they deserve it.

Magical Girl that is Not A Vampire: AWWW come on!

Magical Girl with Naginata: No fair!

Whatever. Fun should not be judged. Well, that’s not entirely true… but whatever. You try to focus on the screen, but their yelling and begging is getting annoying.

…

Fiiine. You turn around; you are a softy. Yet, you do ask the Magical Girls from the Law of Cycles why they are being so especially annoying this time. They share looks.

Magical Girl who likes Cheese: Someone stole the cats.

But of course. You roll your eyes; Futaba Sana. She’s always invisible, so it’s hard to blame her- but /you know/. That girl is just TOO gentle, and it’s not okay to be TOO gentle, it’s just plain boring and a different way to be mean. If only you had sent her instead of Felicia nobody would have hidden the cats.

Magical Girl in Love with Homura: We can't find them.

…And you want to make bets on this instead.

Magical Girl who likes Chocolate: Yes!

Fuck it, whatever. It's either this or more of that endless cosmic bitching. You'll never get used to it.

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>You’ve seen a manga panel with a car.

Your little tour through the drawers left one thing to be trusted, and that is that Lifa (ironically) doesn’t fuck around with her craft. The car in the manga panel you’ve found may look a bit too realistic and stiff in contrast to the somewhat cartoony reality that surrounds it- but the effort poured into it is impossible to deny. All those eons spent learning Mami’s mamis physics finally pay up- when you fling that page in just the right way to pass right in front of their face and for Lifa to catch it in the air right before Lucinda

then cover it against her chest. Lucinda, who has just seen more yuri than most see in decades, slightly lifts a single eyebrow.

ರೃ Lucinda: I was under the impression you were past hiding things.

Lifa: It’s a WIP. Meaning ‘work in progress’. Meaning that I don't want to show it.

ರೃ Lucinda: Show it to me.

If Lucinda ever asked a thief to stab himself in the ass, he would. Something similar already happened, but with a Magical Girl. Fighting his shy demons, Lifa turns the page around, visibly and very obviously covering the bottom panel. You wonder if she's shy about the obvious sex scene or about the way it's drawn.

ರೃ Lucinda: That’s a car.

Lucinda walks up to her and then snatches the page from Lifa’s hands before little Planet Earth even yelps. Yet, the Fucknado isn’t even looking at the panel below.

ರೃ Lucinda: This is a Cadillac Series 62. A convertible. I want to see the page where it doesn’t have the roof.

Lifa... grits her teeth.

Lifa: I-think that the roof should stay there.

ರೃ Lucinda: Why?

Lifa: Well, for one, her mom and dad are right outside…

…Lucinda grimaces as much as she can, which, again, isn’t much, but it’s enough. Welp, at least she didn’t see the panel below it.

Lifa: Do you like it?

ರೃ Lucinda: I do, despite the context. It’s a good photo.

Lifa: It’s not a photo. I’ve drawn it from memory. I don’t need references when the geometry is simple.

ರೃ Lucinda: I see. Draw a Ford Torino.

Lifa: Eh

Lucinda is just looking.

Lifa: Thing is, I, um… don’t know that much about cars.

ರೃ Lucinda: It’s this one. Look at it.

Lucinda wipes out her cell phone and scrolls through it, to the point that she gets so absorbed that Lifa has to walk around and stand next to her to look at the screen. Her controlling parents must have, at some point, ended up VERY confused when they violated their daughter's privacy. There are many pictures of cars, the word 'many' being a very gentle, forgiving, and tolerant way to describe a full SD full of nothing but images and photos she took herself. Lifa’s grimace just grows and grows- perhaps she wonders if this is Lucinda’s vengeance.

Lifa: Oh so… you like cars. I mean, /of course/ you li-

ರೃ Lucinda: I don’t know if I like them.

Lifa: You don’t.… but, you have like a million pics? So, um, don’t you own a car?

ರೃ Lucinda: I do not. This one.

It’s not even the same picture of a Ford Torino she was watching on the Internet last time.

ರೃ Lucinda: Do it.

No ‘how long would it take’ or ‘how much should I pay you’ or even ‘can you do this’ or ‘I like this so much plzplzplz’ begging; just ‘do it'. Nike would be proud. Overworked suicidal japanese salaryman would be proud. Yet Lifa takes the cell phone, sits down at the drawing board at once, and sets to it.

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Now it’s Lucinda who is watching from the side as Lifa gently makes her magic pen dance over the sensitive screen. Yet, the virtual page ends up with nothing but weird, thin scribbles- like that of a toddler’s. Just a bunch of circles and spinning lines.

ರೃ Lucinda: What are you doing?

Lifa: Setting the field. Finding a picture in my head.

ರೃ Lucinda: I do not understand…

But then she does, quite quickly. The first weird drawing is then made transparent; solid, fixed lines are attempted on top of it over and over until Lifa goes for the next line. Even the straight lines are done by hand, and in single, violent strokes. Before long, there's a car there, there’s a Ford Torino on that screen, and even so Lifa didn't stop drawing.

ರೃ Lucinda: It is finished already.

Lifa: No, no, that’s just the second layer.

ರೃ Lucinda: How many layers will there be?

Hunched over the tablet, which is certainly bad for her back, Lifa doesn’t tell Lucinda that there will be three more layers, each more complex than the last; she just keeps on drawing. By the end of it, the red and white roofless Ford Torino is drifting recklessly by the side of a mountain, with the rising sun spilling wonderful colors reflected by the hood of the car

driven by a screaming, perfectly realistic giraffe, likely unlicensed. Lifa wipes the sweat off her forehead, sighing in pure satisfaction.

Lifa: There you go: Ford Torino, world record any percent. Like it?

ರೃ Lucinda: Lifa; why is it being driven by a giraffe?

Lifa: Never look a gift horse in the mouth. You don’t get to be picky with presents. Not even you.

Wow, brave; “Lucinda bitch-slapping a Twitter user” must be soon to be in cinemas. Not yet, though.

ರೃ Lucinda: I am not. Why is it being driven by a giraffe?

…the problem is that at this point there’s no room for doubt. Lucinda’s inquiry is not a threat, it’s not mockery, and it’s not a rhetoric question either. Hard to swallow as it may be, it’s only a question and nothing more. Thankfully, Lifa seems to catch up quickly.

Lifa: …To be very honest, because I wanted to see how you reacted. I’m gauging you.

ರೃ Lucinda: It’s an experiment.

Lifa: Yes. People react differently to different things. Before doing or saying something that could make you very upset, I’m showing you mild things that could make you casually upset. It's like touching a pool with your toe before going in like a bomb to splash everyone around.

ರೃ Lucinda: You’ve shown me a room full of naked women having sex already.

Lifa shrugs with full conviction.

Lifa: People can be very weird, Lucinda.

ರೃ Lucinda: Like you.

Lifa: Like me.

Lucinda takes her cell phone from Lifa’s hand- and takes a picture of the drawing tablet.

Lifa: OH there’s no need, I’ll just send it to you through chat. There. Look.

Lucinda looks, in her cell phone, at the picture of a giraffe driving a Torino down a mountain.

Lifa: Do you like it?

ರೃ Lucinda: I don’t know.

Even so… you turn to glance at the Forbidden Love Counter on your existence-sized shoulder: Hitomi’s face looks more… angry? Than before? What? You think that went pretty good!

Magical Girl that is Actually an Uwasa: Hitomi-san’s expression will appear more desperate whenever we consider the feedback to be positive. This time, we agreed that it was. My calculations don’t fail.

Damn straight they don’t! Wait, what about the previous one? How did the cash do? The Magical Girls on your shoulder shrug as one.

Magical Girl that has like Six Little Brothers: It’s a fat stack of cash. I mean, who could go wrong with that?!

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>You found a picture of little Lifa with her family.

Now, this is a good start- little Lifa and mom and dad and big bro! It was stashed away even under the manga drafts with tentacles, right under that one manga with former President Barack Obama. Top secret.

Now, it’s falling from its shelve-

now it calls the girls with the loud ‘clank’ of broken glass, stealing a girlish whimper from Lifa and making Lucinda transform instantly. Shocked then fascinated by the transformation, the little necro-lich looks at the asymmetric white dress, at Lucinda’s veil of chains, at the absurdly bulky scythe, at that single butterfly reaching out to her- but the show ends before she gets to touch it. Untransformed already, Lucinda picks up the broken picture frame.

ರೃ Lucinda: This place is falling apart. What is this?

Lifa: Um, let me look- Huh?! That was stashed away!

ರೃ Lucinda: Poorly, if that was the case. Do not hide that you are clumsy. It won't help your credibility.

Lifa: I’m not, and I’m not hiding anything.

ರೃ Lucinda: You almost killed a man. Out of clumsiness.

Lifa: LOOK, it’s my fault it poured on him, all happy here, now: it’s not my fault that the baristas get their coffee from Mount Vesuvius!

ರೃ Lucinda: This is you.

Both look closer at the picture. Lifa sighs.

Lifa: That’s my little sister Cla- it’s not, it’s just little me. I was going to lie as a joke. Please give me that.

Lucinda hands it over.

ರೃ Lucinda: You have a brother.

Lifa: I do. Don’t worry, I won’t talk about my personal life.

ರೃ Lucinda: Do.

Lifa: Look, Lady Lu: you've made it perfectly clear that we won’t be having a relationship of any sort after this. And I’ve already made my point.

ರೃ Lucinda: You want to know more of me, yet you do not want me to know you. That is not fair.

Lifa: As I told you in the messages, that's not needed anymore. And you can know enough of me without knowing my dramas and traumas anyway.

ರೃ Lucinda: When is it enough? When was it going to be enough for you?

Lifa just... looks at her.

Lucinda Newhorn showing interest in another human being. You love to see it. Best not to forget that things can only go very bad when they are going very well. As for Lifa, she doesn’t seem to be doing very well. Secrets are secrets for a reason.

Lifa: Well, we won’t be seeing each other after this. Why the fuck not? You asked for it.

ರೃ Lucinda: Interesting. No thinking time.

Lifa: It would be wasted.

She sighs, not exactly full of energy.

Lifa: That was my brother. He’s dead now. My wish was to bring him back to life after I killed him.

ರೃ Lucinda: I see. Why is he dead now?

Lifa: I killed him again.

…Jesus fu- Madoka fucking Kaname. Not even missing a single beat, neither of them. Lucinda simply sits on the couch, fixing those cold inquisitive eyes on Lifa. You wonder how Lifa is escaping the ‘human’ category that Lady Lu usually can’t even stand to share air with- so far, that searing hatred was as universal as you, fair, evenly and generously distributed.

Lifa: Ok, so, I’m from a wealthy family…

ರೃ Lucinda: I can see that.

Lifa: You don’t understand. Let me… let me give this some structure.

ರೃ Lucinda: Do your thinking.

She does, eyes closed, alone with the Fucknado. The shit you’ve seen Lucinda do… well, it’s not THAT bad! Maybe?

Lifa: My family was wealthy. My father was the CEO of a drill manufacturing company. My older brother, who was a total shitbag by the way, got with the wrong crowd and started mugging people and doing drugs because apparently that's what passes as cool around here. That’s just culture at work for you. Be dumb enough, and you will jump into a pit full of spikes when everyone else does.

ರೃ Lucinda: I want to confirm this: you killed him before signing your contract.

Lifa: Yes; and yet I killed him way too late. I knew of the damage he was doing, I just kept drowning in my pool of apathy and hate because I was comfortable, because I felt that I was the victim. All the meanwhile, that piece of shit was going from school to school getting little kids addicted to crack and luring out little girls either to get raped or be turned into hookers.

Heavy shit, here we go. Lifa sighs, visibly upset, shaking, angry, and red-eyed.

Lifa: I still haven’t made peace with myself, you know? I still feel like a stain of horse shit on the road because I only took action the moment /I/ was affected- because he turned one of my friends into a junkie, he made her drop school and have sex with all of his friends for drugs. She's still at the psych ward.

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A Magical Girl's past is either a perfect walk in the park or fucked up to the point of being hilarious. Now you know where Lifa fits.

ರೃ Lucinda: What did you do?

Lifa: First, I called the police. They snitched- the police itself snitched. He tied me to a chair so his friends could take turns burning me with cigarettes and pouring beer all over me. Kept calling me ugly as shit, but I’m thankful for that because at least they didn’t touch me.

Lucinda nods.

ರೃ Lucinda: That does certainly seem convenient.

…Lifa gives up a little wounded smile.

Lifa: It must be very hard being as beautiful as you. Anyway... Back then, I was already on their radar because I had already snitched, and, like you, they weren’t that good at telling intent- so they were going to kill me to make sure.

ರೃ Lucinda: Keep going.

Lifa: …Coffee.

Lucinda waits; Lifa says nothing more.

ರೃ Lucinda: Coffee.

Lifa: (nodding) Coffee.

…….coffee. Nah nah nah nah, no way in hell. That would be too much of a coincidence!

ರೃ Lucinda: Coffee… how? I remember what I said. I meant it as an exaggeration.

Lifa: (giggles) Does that mean that you also make jokes sometimes?

ರೃ Lucinda: This is a joke, then.

Lifa shakes her head like she was at a rave.

Lifa: They were onto me, remember? My brother kept on living here with me to keep appearances, though I’m fairly sure he just enjoyed scaring me. Either he was paranoid or he knew somehow that I wanted to kill him, so… there wasn’t much more I could use.

ರೃ Lucinda: And you used coffee to kill him.

Lifa nods.

ರೃ Lucinda: I think that you are lying. Third-degree burns are treatable. Coffee cannot be lethal.

Lifa: It can.

ರೃ Lucinda: It can’t.

Lifa: It can.

ರೃ Lucinda: Stop. If it can, tell me how.

Lifa: With… with a syringe, Lucinda. With a syringe.

…You and Lucinda both, at the same time and rhythm, furrow brows.

Lifa: He used to do heroin… right here. In this room.

ರೃ Lucinda: You killed a man by injecting coffee into his veins.

Lifa: Into the back of his neck.

Lifa touches the spot on hers. Her hands are rather small.

ರೃ Lucinda: I assume he had hidden the knives and such.

Lifa: He didn’t, at least the knives at the kitchen. It was like he was taunting me.

ರೃ Lucinda: I see.

Lifa: Are you afraid of me?

ರೃ Lucinda: You could have told your mother or your grandmother.

Lifa: They would have been at stake as well. Besides… well, that is why I brought him back, after all.

ರೃ Lucinda: I was about to ask that.

Lifa: I kind of figured. I used my wish to bring my brother back because my mother was obsessed with him... firstborn child, all that stuff. She missed him. But I'd be lying if I said that was the only reason.

ರೃ Lucinda: Go on.

Lifa: I felt bad for him. I felt that he also was a victim in this story. Everyone had lied to him, made him think horrendous shit was cool. I... thought I could fix him. Show him another way. Then he goes and rapes and kills a woman that was going to get married in two weeks, and runs away with the money he stole from her bank account. I hunted him down myself for like a month and then killed and revived him over and over until my Soul Gem went pitch black and I couldn't do it anymore.

Lifa looks... sad. And this is pure sadness, pure blue.

Lifa: In hindsight, all I did was cause needless suffering to satisfy my rage like he did. He wasn't going to learn anything from all I did to him, and whatever he could have learned he wasn't ever going to use. I became a monster and it destroyed me. Suffering always deserves a reason.

WELL… ffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Lesbian Magical Girls are common, and it makes sense, and it happens- but full-on erotic artists? That are straight-up murderers? That bring you back from the grave to kill you again? The fuck is wrong with this timeline, or this country, whatever-

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The irony that everyone is afraid of Lucinda yet this random weird-ass girl turns out to be twice as messed up doesn’t fly past you, but now you think that you MAYBE should have done a bit more research. It’s just, that some Magical Girls are easier to stalk than others- and frankly more interesting. Despite the hair this one always seemed dull, always bunkered up inside her studio. Alone.

ರೃ Lucinda: That's fucked up. I would have done the same, though.

Lifa: Don't say that.

You glance at the Forbidden Love Counter on your shoulder; and Hitomi looks even more scared! The way you see it, sharing the skeletons in your closet is a good way to make a relationship both useful and stable- after all, those aren't going anywhere. Now Lucinda knows that her 'Fucknado' is worth jack shit compared to whatever hellspawn you just happened to hook her up with- which she doesn't seem to hate, at least.

At the very least, that's what the Law of Cycles seems to thinks, and that's good enough for competitive little you.

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>Lucinda’s hairpin.

The gold-trimmed wooden ceiling fan overhead spins with a soothing droning sound- making the thick air conditioner redundant. Under it, standing on the same crimson carpet, two Magical Girls share silence like it was booze. Cars pass by outside the iron gate as cicadas share their song- but neither girl contributes to the orchestra of life.

Suddenly desperate to cause any distraction, you immediately recognize the beetle-like hairpin that Lucinda carries around inside her satchel- and decide that Lifa may like how Lady Lu dealt with some of her insistent challengers. There are similarities, after all. However, on a personal whim, it’s not only the hairpin that you hope Lucinda will talk about. The earring she always carries under her right ear /should not be there/- and that’s a story you’ve been wanting to hear for some time now. Thankfully, the satchel was left there when Lucinda sat on the bed, so- all you do is set it up a bit from the inside, push it a bit against the ledge

and let gravity help you.

Lifa: Um. You and I-

Whatever Lifa was going to say will forever be lost to history as the jolt from the satchel falling to the ground got Lucinda to draw out her scythe again- but it’s just the contents of her bag spilling all over the floor. Lifa giggles, not entirely without scorn.

Lifa: What do you know, Lucinda Newhorn is clumsy too.

ರೃ Lucinda: Your room must be invaded by a poltergeist. That or your personal magic is at work.

Lifa: Um- Do you believe in ghosts?

ರೃ Lucinda: I do. You’ve shown me one yourself.

Lifa: OH right, right, but of course, but, my ‘ghosts’ are, eh, sliiightly different from what you’ve seen on TV. You’d be so disappointed.

Lucinda gets on her knees to pick up her stuff. Lipstick balm, rimmel, the keys to her room, little bags of hair conditioner, a tiny box of tampons, her swiss knife, a lot of crumpled receipts… Lady Lu doesn’t use that much makeup, but what little she puts on is only in the right spots. In comparison, Lifa is a wreck. Come on Lifa, look at the pin. Look at the pin. Lifa, look at the damn pin you utter degenerate!

Lifa: Oh, look.

Yay! She picks it up.

Lifa: Oh gosh, this is kinda cute coming from you.

ರೃ Lucinda: Hand it over.

Lifa hesitates- so Lucinda snatches it a bit too brutally. Ouch. At this point, Lifa must be used to her guest having the tact of a homing missile.

Lifa: Do you like cute stuff, Lucinda? Like bunnies?

ರೃ Lucinda: I do not. This is the hairpin I wear when this one gets ignored.

She points at the pretty blue earring under her ear.

Lifa: I see?

ರೃ Lucinda: It’s a deterrent. So far it only worked once.

Lifa: Worked once to, oooh, to scare away- who? Oh, the Magical Girls, I think.

ರೃ Lucinda: That is correct.

Lifa: But, why would a cute little hard-working beetle scare people? We all are rolling our ball of dung, right?

ರೃ Lucinda: Because It belonged to the leader of a local factionless Magical Girl who came after me, Vanessa Adeline. Long red hair, tall, lanky, green eyes, glasses. Stands like this.

Lucinda changes her pose; now she’s standing with both arms hanging forward like a zombie.

Lifa: (nods fast) Yep! Know her. The vulture. The one from that meeting, right? The representative that didn't care about borders and jurisdiction.

ರೃ Lucinda: Vanessa Adeline stated that you cannot support the existence of factions without lacking chromosomes- yes, on that one meeting of the factions. We are on the same page.

Basically, Vanessa lives lawless in a world with three different sets of laws, one for each faction. Yet despite being public enemy number one she dared to show her face and talk at the summit of the three factions after stealing Witches from all of them right under their noses.

Lifa: …It’s not a gift, isn’t it?

ರೃ Lucinda: It’s not a gift. ‘Lockheart’, a Magical Girl from the East I had defeated previously, passed away after the fact. The blame was cast on me. Vanessa came after me. She did not come alone.

Aaaaand there you go. If there was a moment that cemented Lucinda’s fate as 'the reason for which Magical Girls lock their windows' it would have to be that one.

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ರೃ Lucinda: I will cut to the chase. I removed all of their arms and legs, put each piece of their bodies in the same big black back then delivered said bag myself to the Coordinator. I made sure to be spotted by other Magical Girls during my tour around the Capital.

…WELL, that is one way to cut to the chase. Lifa looks… traumatized.

ರೃ Lucinda: I had only one Grief Seed left at the time, which I used to pay for their treatment. I was and still am on friendly terms with the healer that the Coordinator called, so I was already certain in advance that their bodies would be restored to their original shape.

Lifa: But… their Soul Gems… no, nevermind. Lucinda, that’s… horrible. What you did is… horrible. What I did was horrible.

ರೃ Lucinda: I did it out of necessity to protect myself.

Lifa: What if they didn’t cut you down either because they didn’t think you would? What if they didn’t want to kill you? Or even hurt you that badly?

ರೃ Lucinda: They wanted to seal my Soul Gem and leave me to die a year from then by myself. They stated their intent in advance. I told them I wouldn’t, and that I’d cut them all down if they ganged up on me. They didn’t meet me one by one. They engaged together. They failed to notice that I was not boasting at any point.

Lifa: L-lucinda, um, usually, when you tell someone that you are going to chop them to pieces- you don’t mean it, you know?

ರೃ Lucinda: I do not think that people talk like that frequently.

Both Norberto and Laura, Lucinda's mom and dad, do, though. Lifa is at a loss for words. Ending up in a bag full of limbs which is filling with your blood, unable to move, floating around your limbs in utter darkness- yeah, you get her. There you go. That’s the ‘Fucknado’ for you.

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ರೃ Lucinda: If it helps, I ensured that they’ve all lost their consciousness before putting them in the bag. Knocking others out is one of my specialties.

Lifa deflates so hard that she might as well be a skeleton to revive at this point.

Lifa: OF COURSE THAT HELPS! T-that, that changes everything! J-JUST imagine…

She’s /shivering/ and visibly sweating; the mental image must have been too much for this completely pure, soft-hearted maiden.

ರೃ Lucinda: My intent was simply to intimidate future challengers. I only resorted to that measure after all others failed.

Lifa: That’s… a huge fucking relief. So… why were they blaming you for what happened to the first girl? The one you defeated?

ರೃ Lucinda: I broke enough bones in her body for her to spend a month in the hospital. Nobody went to heal her.

Lifa: I think I can tell why- but why did she come after you?

ರೃ Lucinda: I buried alive one of her friends. I also made a treasure map so they could find her. Someone told me later that they were using it upside-down.

Lifa: W-why?! I mean, why did you do that?

ರೃ Lucinda: She attacked me while I was training because I tied all the members of her team under a train. It was the same train, the one that goes from Retiro to Constitucion.

Lifa: Oh-my-god, and why were those girls after you?

ರೃ Lucinda: Because I threw them into a river from a building the past week or so.

Lifa: A river? In the Capital? Which one?

ರೃ Lucinda: The Riachuelo.

A river almost entirely made of trash and excrement, famous for its smell. Lifa doesn't even attempt to hide or even moderate her expression as she clenches her bared teeth in disgust.

Lifa: I would be still bathing to this day. And... you had to do that atrocity because…

ರೃ Lucinda: I had left naked on the streets a team of Eastsiders that claimed to want 'justice'.

Lifa: Naked. As in-

ರೃ Lucinda: As in naked. It is simple. I still do not understand why it was the Northerners who came for me on their behalf later on. I was under the impression those two factions were rivals.

This just won't end.

Considering that first impact, Lifa is taking this too well. Poor girl had to acclimatize at once.

Lifa: Well... maybe they went to bully the East girls and found them already way worse than usual… because of you. Magical Girls from the North like to act like mean slutty bitches and I don't like them, but their faction always did like a ton of charity behind the scenes. I still remember that one time they dressed like Pokemon because there was this one sweet kid who had no friends. I was there. It was nice. I still think it was too much.

Lifa scratches her chin, smiling to herself a bit. Memories can feel a million years away even when they happened yesterday.

Lifa: I kinda know the answer, but why did you have to leave them naked in the open?

ರೃ Lucinda: Because another team from the East caught me hunting for Witches and I stole all of their money in response.

Lifa: And those came for you… because…

ರೃ Lucinda: Because I spanked their leader.

Lifa: Is this comedy? Are you doing comedy, Lucinda?

ರೃ Lucinda: No. I'm merely narrating.

And that’s not to mention the infinity of times that Magical Girls came asking Lucinda for duels. Those were fair, at least- even though the Fucknado didn’t lose a single one of them. That nigh-invulnerability of hers is too hard to counter. So far, the only two tactics that worked were a) invisible attacks so that Lucinda wouldn't react and b) endless barrages of attacks to force Lucinda to keep her power up for as long as possible. The backlash hits her harder the more she remains untouchable, but even keeping her in that mode was proven to be too hard.

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Lifa: So, then, you didn’t do… “”that””… right off the bat. You escalated. But so did they.

ರೃ Lucinda: I don’t care if they suffer or not. I simply did not want to be their prey.

Lifa: Can’t you see a pattern here? In all of those things that happened?

ರೃ Lucinda: Yes. My enemies kept getting stronger.

Lifa: Any /other/ pattern?

ರೃ Lucinda: Do not mince words around. If you have something to say, say it. Do not waste my time.

Lifa, you, and most of the girls on your shoulder betting for your failure all roll their eyes at once. Nope; she doesn’t see it. She can't see it with those sapphire eyes. That’s just how Lucinda Newhorn works. Don’t ask a fish to fly.

Lifa: Lucinda; have you considered letting them defeat you? At least a couple of times?

ರೃ Lucinda: They want me dead.

Lifa: Hmm, yes, you are right; at this point, at least. Maybe if you had let them win a few times before they would have been satisfied with that and called it a day. I think that people fear you when you show yourself strong- and the stronger you look, the more they fear you, and the more they want you. Does that make sense?

ರೃ Lucinda: You speak in riddles all the time.

Lifa: Let me put it this way, then. If you have had a boyfriend, the other men would have no reason to keep pestering you. You’d be just another pretty blonde, not the top prize of the game.

ರೃ Lucinda: I don’t want a boyfriend.

Lifa: Really? Don’t you like any guy out there? Any girl, even?

ರೃ Lucinda: I hate everyone.

…

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Said without a hint of irony, sarcasm, or exaggeration; the sad reality of Lucinda Newhorn. That bottomless pit of bile hasn’t gone anywhere.

But; Lifa is still there, at least. Even though she’s surely included in the ‘everyone’.

Lifa: What about that earring under your ear? You mentioned it before. Doesn’t it hurt?

ರೃ Lucinda: Only when they dig the hole through it.

Lucinda tinkers with the earring a bit and takes its body off, leaving behind only the ring stuck in her ear.

ರೃ Lucinda: This belongs to Aloe from the Big West.

Lifa: ...That Aloe?

ರೃ Lucinda: Yes. Aloe the Clusterfuck.

In the subworld of Magical Girls, the only anomaly to put Argentina on the map is the Big West. The Capital is divided between its East, North, and West factions- but the rest of Buenos Aires, seventy times the size of its core, was always divided into the Big East, Big West, Big South, and Big North. Formerly without the ‘Big’; the Capital became its own world barely a few years ago.

The Big East is a no man's land for Magical Girls where everything is allowed,

the Big South is just a million factions held together with duct-tape, fighting for territory,

the Big North is still under the rule of Raya’s Holy Church (even though Raya herself is still nowhere to be seen)

and the Big West is to Magical Girls what the Wild West is for cowboys.

The Big West currently has the most territory out of any other faction… despite having the smallest population density of Magical Girls of almost any other place in the continent. It’s also home to the strongest Witches ever seen on this side of the ocean- and to some of the most extremely powerful, bizarre, and otherworldly Magical Girls this timeline has ever seen. Their core rule in that territory is that hunting teams are forbidden: Magical Girls are to meet with its insane Witches alone. The resulting power gap is a true joke. If Magical Girls had ranks, the strongest Magical Girl outside the Big West would be a feared, legendary rank B+... and any citizen of it that you chance upon on its streets would be a rank SS that just came from leveling a city block by herself.

Aloe is such an example.

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Lifa: You didn’t beat her.

ರೃ Lucinda: We did not fight. The rumors had gotten so out of hand that she came to recruit me. I explained my situation, and so she gifted me this earring she was wearing at the time. It was so that others would think that I had triumphed over her; I could not reject it.

Lucinda shakes her head, more expressive than ever.

ರೃ Lucinda: It would have been impossible.

Lifa: Back then, they used to say that you can only beat the West with numbers.

She giggles, but no sound comes out.

Lifa: It wasn’t true, of course. It makes sense that someone from that absurd place wouldn’t care if others thought she lost.

Witches never leave the Big West. All that happens there is self-contained- and yet there are no inner factions.

Lifa: Now that I think of it... isn't it weird that someone from the Big West came to see you but our own Faction Leaders did not? Or did they at least send someone? That's kind of their job.

ರೃ Lucinda: I was approached by Hyakumantenbara Salome from the West. She requested that I explain to her how to be a proper lady and the mannerisms involved.

Lifa: I need to hear this.

Eyes like plates, the smaller girl drops her butt on the bed.

ರೃ Lucinda: There is not much to say. We would meet during weekends so I could teach her what I knew. I taught her how to do her hair in drills, but she went overboard. Her way with her hands is also exaggerated as is her laughter and the way she walks- but she did respect the basics. All of them except for the subtlety expected from a lady.

Lifa: Wooooow. There must be a lot of stuff involved in that.

ರೃ Lucinda: It simply takes discipline and constant practice.

...So it's her fault. That may even be worse than tying those girls under the train.

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Lifa finally giggles for real.

Lifa: Lucinda; you do know what ‘knocking out’ means, right? You said it just now.

ರೃ Lucinda: It’s when you send someone into a coma.

Lifa: It also has another meaning. Do you know what a futanari is?

You look at the Forbidden Love Counter on your shoulder and- Hitomi seems at ease. Hey! How come? Before bringing your own brand of bitching to the table, you ponder it over a bit. To have Lifa, a person that clearly has tact, bring her past into the table to Lucinda, hardcore psycho, is one thing... to have Lucinda comment on how she terrorized the Magical Girls of Buenos Aires into leaving her the fuck alone to poor little Lifa is quite another (despite Lifa still being ten times as freaky).

You look at the little lich- it may be your usual pessimism, but she does seem to be stringing her words together more carefully. Knowing each other's stories is fundamental, no way in hell you are backing out of that one- but maybe the timing and the way could have used some work.

Whatever. You'll let it slide this time.

Bitches.

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>Lifa has one of those high school photos you take when you graduate.

Upsie! Something is raining- and it’s an entire album crammed with half-done manga pages. Even with how messy this place is, both of them are bound to get scared if you just keep dropping things like that, so- let’s do it all in one go!

ರೃ Lucinda: You should play Jenga.

Lifa: This only happens when a beautiful girl comes over…

ರೃ Lucinda: Then I will assume that beautiful girls do come over all the time.

Lifa: And you’ll be right!

Chess puff, proud smile, defiant eyes; Lucinda is met with the full package but buys none of it.

Lifa: I’m talking about me. I am the beautiful girl. It's a joke. Hardly anyone but my grandma comes here...

ರೃ Lucinda: I assumed as much. I don’t think any other would come unless you pay them.

Wow, bitch, rude. And yet, Lifa laughs.

Lifa: You just called me beautiful!

ರೃ Lucinda: Incorrect. I said that you were talk-

Lifa: You just-called-me beautiful! You just-called-me beautiful!

Lifa sings and dances- even after Lucinda told her she butchered a whole team and dragged it around in a bag. Who, to your shock and surprise, is only crossing her arms under her up-to-standards chest and staring.

ರೃ Lucinda: Feel free to look as dumb as you like for as long as you like.

Lifa: HEY.

ರೃ Lucinda: It is your right. What is this?

FINALLY. It’s Lifa’s high school picture. Even there her hair still has those weird toxic colors.

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ರೃ Lucinda: You are easy to spot. High school must have been rough.

Lifa: Oh but you’d be surprised, Lady Lu, because I had plenty of friends back in the day, you know.

ರೃ Lucinda: I do not believe that.

Lifa: There are still people out there who appreciate genuinity. Who like people brave enough to do what /they/ want.

ರೃ Lucinda: I am quite certain that those 'friends' had plenty to say behind your back.

Lifa: I can never know that- but at least I can know that I did what I wanted.

ರೃ Lucinda: Was it worth it?

Lifa shrugs.

Lifa: It didn’t make my life miserable.

ರೃ Lucinda: You are brave.

Now it’s Lifa who covers her arms over her chest, mischievously.

Lifa: Was that a compliment, Lucinda the ‘Phantom Fucker’?

And now it’s Lucinda that shrugs but in her case it's kinda half-assed.

ರೃ Lucinda: It is a fact. You have to be brave to do something that stupid. You painted a target on your back, in high school of all places.

Lifa: And it got me a few friends who REALLY got me.

ರೃ Lucinda: Did it, now?

Lifa: Do you want me to prove it?

But Lucinda just touches her lips with a dainty finger, her curious blue eyes as attentive as ever.

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ರೃ Lucinda: Huh. Interesting. So your hair is a beacon.

Lifa: Well- kinda?

ರೃ Lucinda: Like one of those lighthouses they use at beaches to signal at stray ships during the night. I believe that the behavior is similar.

Lifa: HMMmmm... Correct! You’ve got your patterns right, there. No one can love you for yourself- if you never show yourself, is what I say!

ರೃ Lucinda: They also cannot hate you.

Lifa bites her lower lip in the most unsexiest way possible- but doesn’t retort- and neither does Lucinda dig the point further.

Both of them: You are right, though.

Lucinda blinks, Lifa blinks. Woah–heeeeeeeeeeeeey..! What’s that over there, huh? Nice. You glance at the Forbidden Love Counter resting on your shoulder: Hitomi looks slightly more disgusted. As if she had grazed a girl's hand with her own. Small steps.

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>There’s a sketch of Lucinda. It IS kinda spicy.

Oh me oh my; the tingling on your cheeks would melt a quintillion galaxies if Lucinda’s leg was any higher in this sketch. It is as certain as your fairness that the real deal would like to have a look at this- it certainly conveys what Lifa thinks of her body. While they are busy, you let it fall like a dead leaf in autumn, quite sure that they won’t even bother to look up. It gets mixed up with all the others you rained on them last time.

ರೃ Lucinda: What is this?

Lifa: Oh, what did you find?

ರೃ Lucinda: Me.

Lifa: Hmm, I kinda don’t know how to parse that.

ರೃ Lucinda: Try literally.

Lifa becomes Deatha in what to you, a being of the eons, is a year. Meaning instantly. Yet a healthy red is quick to invade her cheeks as Lucinda’s bitch slap, which would make pimps everywhere agree with each other, gives the lich some life back.

Lifa: …aaaaaaaaAAAAAAUUUCHH…

ರೃ Lucinda: Tell me what you were planning for this because it will not happen.

Lifa’s sudden burning rage is quick to simmer down as Lucinda elegantly turns the page around. As tears stream over her red cheeks again, Lifa can’t do much but shrug in anger.

Lifa: Nothing. I see pretty, I draw. What would I do, publish a manga of you getting tit-fucked by an ugly bastard? As if all the people who hate you wouldn’t shove it right up your nose the minute it hits the panda.

ರೃ Lucinda: Panda.

Lifa: …there’s this page with a panda… it has porn…

Lifa sobs, then sobs again. Her cheeks are as wet as her green eyes.

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ರೃ Lucinda: You are being too melodramatic. It’s annoying.

Lifa: I’M NOT MELODRAMATIC, I’M HURT! I HATE VIOLENCE!

ರೃ Lucinda: You shouldn’t. Violence keeps us alive. It kept you alive. This time it will make you fall in line.

Despite Lifa’s whimpers, Lucinda’s eyes remain hard and steady.

Lifa: …Sorry. I didn’t expect you to find you to find that- what did I even just say, I don't know. I thought it was hidden as well as my mental issues.

ರೃ Lucinda: Those are hidden poorly. You wear your scars on your skin. The metaphorical ones.

Lifa: WELL, now I have a literal one. (sniff) Don’t ever do that again! I’ll fucking throw you out, I swear!

Lucinda frowns- as if genuinely annoyed.

ರೃ Lucinda: I will if I have to. It is you that is exaggerating. That being said-

The fake princess looks at the manga panel again.

ರೃ Lucinda: I do look quite well here. Do you have more?

Both you and Lifa share the same face that screams ‘LOOK MOTHERFUCKER–’

You look at the Forbidden Love Counter being held by a single little girl on your shoulder: she looks back at you, scared. Where are the rest of them? No time to find out, Hitomi looks much more confident now... but she's about to find out, just you wait!

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>There are sketches of Magical Girls. A-chan is in one of them.

Lucinda doesn’t get to see Lifa's creepy scowl because she spotted a familiar face among the layers of manga pages covering the floor. She pushes the one with the butt coming out of a trash can aside and grabs the one under it. Which, is simply A-chan, on her desk as usual; a picture that every Magical Girl in Buenos Aires must have seen at least once.

ರೃ Lucinda: The Coordinator. A.

Lifa: Yes. So?

ರೃ Lucinda: I do not know how to make you stop whining.

Lifa stops like a deer under headlight- those headlights being Lucinda’s cold, curious stare. As if the blonde was trying to peek into the cogs behind Lifa’s heart.

Lifa: ...Nothing. Just wait. You can’t rush a flower, and you can’t rush sorrow.

ರೃ Lucinda: Ok. I want to know why the Coordinator isn’t sexualized in your drawings but I am.

Lifa: Let me think… no, no need. The Coordinator can't be friends with anyone, correct? She doesn’t have the time to develop deep friendships and such- but I love her all the same because she works hard all the time to keep others safe and sound. I just can’t see her in that light. Meaning, I can't see her as something sexual.

ರೃ Lucinda: You can’t sexualize what you love. Is that your point?

Lifa squints her eyes…

Lifa: To be honest, I’m not so sure of that myself either. Well, for one, your body is like out of a dream, and our dear Coordinator’s is just normal and lanky from all that overworking. Going by the way it looks, there's nothing particularly sexy about it.

ರೃ Lucinda: What makes something ‘sexy’?

Lifa’s jaw drops.

Lifa: You mean you don’t know? You are the living definition of ‘sexy’! You smell ‘sexy’, Lucinda!

ರೃ Lucinda: Don’t make me repeat myself.

…You ponder it yourself. As far as you know, something is sexy when you want to ‘sex it’. Brilliant, but- what makes you want to? Is it a primitive urge? Something about destruction? Or something else entirely?

Lifa: But, your looks are almost perfect. Nine and a half out of ten.

ರೃ Lucinda: I simply arrange myself how I’ve been taught to. I do not understand the effects I have on others.

Lifa: Right, I see. So…

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>There are spicy sketches of Magical Girls. Weird Eyes is in one of them.

Conveniently, Lifa finds a perfect example of 'sexy'- and, of course, it had to be Weird Eyes. The Magical Girl of Stray Cats is famous for three reasons:
Secretly being a Coordinator.
Being one of the oldest Magical Girls alive, and:
For hunting down every Magical Girl over eighteen and giving them a few more reasons to live, which she has reason number 2 to thank for.
The title ‘Magical Girl of Stray Cats’ had a hidden meaning all along. You know the truth, though. Weird Eyes, already drained of emotions, was desperate for motivation and assumed that everyone else was on the same train in a very concrete way. Funny enough, the true point that makes her actually important isn't even a reason for which she's known.

ರೃ Lucinda: I see. She did consider the legal age at least.

Lifa was just explaining what you were thinking out loud.

Lifa: She told me herself that she didn’t have enough time to worry about taboo. That some definitions of ‘purity’ can and will drown you if you let them.

Lucinda studies the drawing closely. Short yet packed blonde hair with black shades, thick legs, and a dreamy face- but with normal eyes this time. The Weird Eyes in the picture is crawling towards whoever is looking at her, much like a cat, wearing only a loose white shirt but no pants whatsoever.

ರೃ Lucinda: Fitting, given that the whole cat-girl fad is her fault.

Lifa: You are a nine and a half out of ten only because she is a ten out of ten, and she’s the only woman ever to deserve that score.

ರೃ Lucinda: And why is that?

Lifa: Her true wish was to be perfect.

ರೃ Lucinda: I see.

Lucinda looks at the picture once more.

ರೃ Lucinda: I wonder how she endures it.

Lifa: Having those boobs?

ರೃ Lucinda: Her beauty. Mine made me a slave. So, in a sense, yes.

You pull the string from Lifa’s jean shorts, and-

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>Lifa’s DNI. Her document, where her hair looks perfectly natural.

Lucinda looks at Lifa, Lifa looks a Lucinda. Neither says a thing.

Lifa: Why are you looking at me like that?

ರೃ Lucinda: Something fell off your pockets. I was waiting for you to notice.

Lifa: What? Really? Oh, really.

But when Lifa bends to pick it up it’s Lucinda’s dainty hand that grabs it first. The blonde turns and turns the ID until the light from the lamp lets her see the Lifa on the document with clarity- and Lucinda whistles. Or at least attempts to, but het.

ರೃ Lucinda: So; you did look like a normal human being at some point.

Lifa: So what? What’s good about that?

A full head shorter, Lifa snatches the identification from the blonde in a blur.

ರೃ Lucinda: Alondra Rodriguez. Nineteen. Twenty in a week and a half. You are hitting the ceiling.

The 'ceiling' is an expression for reaching twenty years of age. It remains a very rare feat.

Lifa: It is much easier to live longer when you are retired. It’s kind of ironic…

ರೃ Lucinda: Retired. You do not hunt Witches.

Lifa shakes her head firmly, as firmly as she must have been when she made that final call: "This is as far as I'm going to get".

Lifa: I have my stash of Grief Seeds and that’s it. The less I fear death the longer I’ll stretch my days.

ರೃ Lucinda: I should not even bother with the mammoth, then.

Lifa downcasts her eyes.

But, she peeks from below.

Lifa: That’s cruel, Lucinda. Besides, there’s still so much you could learn from it while I’m still alive.

ರೃ Lucinda: And how long would that be? You are only biding your time until Weird Eyes comes back, after all.

Lifa: What...?

ರೃ Lucinda: You are obsessed with sex. You are over eighteen. She spoke to you herself- I find it hard to believe that fiends like you two settled for a friendly conversation. It is as you said earlier; I can join the dots myself.

Ignoring Lifa’s slight short-circuit, Lucinda studies the lewd drawing with a shredder’s mercy.

ರೃ Lucinda: Not to mention that this drawing is more detailed than mine. The borders are thinner, the eyes have one more layer, and the shadows resemble the sharpness of her bangs more closely, like here and here. The Old Coordinator vanished a long time ago. You will wait for her for a long time.

Lifa: PFF

Lucinda lifts an eyebrow. Lifa waves a hand toward her, much like her grandma often does.

Lifa: Don’t worry, you are right on the money. Well, in like a quarter of a dollar at least. It’s just- I mean, look around.

The erotic mangaka spreads her arms open, her lanky body covering as much room as it could.

Lifa: Just look around. At this point, it will take much more than another great fuck to keep me going.

ರೃ Lucinda: Huh. I was right. Then what are you waiting for?

Lifa: (shrugs with both hands) For tomorrow to come?

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You look at the Forbidden Love Counter barely balancing on your shoulder, with newfound, unfair enmity towards Hitomi Shizuki: she does look a bit sicker now! That's great, but you wonder why. You seriously don't fucking know, so you ask the Law of Cycles. Only the little girl holding the counter remains in sight, but a head is quick to pop from it when you ask.

Magical Girl that Just Wanted People To Say Thank You: The others say that showing the psychopath that Alondra sees other Magical Girls as fucktoys was a bad idea because of how bad Lucinda had it for that same reason, but that also doing the opposite was good and counter-acted it.

You ask about showing Lifa's ID.

Magical Girl that Just Wanted People To Say Thank You: They say that Lucinda didn't say anything mean so it's ok? I dunno man.

You know what? Their opinions suck. You won't rely on social validation any longer. You are Lucinda Newhorn! Fuck you Hitomi you man-stealing whore

Holy shit that's a lot of reading.
I like.

Also I'm back from my week long vacation, it was fun.

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>>5772651
imagine being an average japanese teenage girl victim of the retrograde culture of your shitty country and be immortalized by hundreds of media illiterate internet people and your soon to be goddess schoolmate due to unknowingly getting your not-goddess schoolmate killed for reasons completely outside of your control and understanding. ain't it a bitch

also, lots of spicy stuff. maybe somehow some for Rita of all people. I'm predicting... unforseen consequences

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>There is a manga panel with very realistic food.

You were pleasantly surprised to find photo-realistic food in one of Lifa’s mangas about ladies who use each other as food plates. Mostly, because you love food yourself. The ladies can leave. It has many depictions of sushi, despite how rare that dish is in Argentina, and you wonder just who Lifa’s target audience is. You gather the few where nobody is picking salmon from someone else’s nipples with chopsticks and just fling them around while they are still picking up the rest of the mess.

ರೃ Lucinda: One of these drawers will fall on top of us at this point.

Lifa: Don’t be silly, that only happened once.

Lucinda doesn’t even ask if it’s a joke. Maybe she doesn’t want to know. Wise move.

Lifa: OH! Look at these, look!

Enthusiastically, Lifa lifts the drawings with food.

ರೃ Lucinda: You aren’t ashamed of your work. This is new.

Lifa: I'm not ashamed of my work when it's cooked halfway, but it was a bitch and a half just to draw this piece of cheese. If the food didn’t look appetizing then the context wasn’t going to work at all.

ರೃ Lucinda: I take it that the story is about lesbian chefs.

Lifa: Does the word ‘Nyotaimori’ ring a bell to you?

ರೃ Lucinda: It does not.

Lifa: I’m so glad.

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Lifa: What do you think of this mont blanc? Drawing it was like drawing spaghetti, but the weight has to feel different.

ರೃ Lucinda: It does look appetizing.

Grandma from the other side of the door: Happy to know I didn’t waste what little time I have left then!

Lifa SCREAMS without making any sound whatsoever and suddenly she’s in eight places at once without even transforming, taking full advantage of the second and a half it takes for her grandmother to tackle the innocent door open. By the time it has been successfully invaded, Lifa’s studio of nothing but love looks ready to be sold- at least to a hentai addict.

Lifa: GRAN, how many times do I have to tell you this is MY

Grandma: (shrugging her off) Aww just- quiet, you! I know what you do.

Lifa: I’m NOT sure about thFHFFMFH?!

The feeble lady, riding her last days however the fuck she wants, just stuffed her granddaughter’s mouth full of chocolate cookies with chocolate chips. She makes her way in with quick, unsteady steps and leaves a loaded tray of those- right on top of Lifa’s expensive digital tablet which the Magical Girl most likely sold her soul for. Oh wait never mind, you can’t do that twice.

Grandma: Have fun! Don’t be out too late. Beep bop.

ರೃ Lucinda: Beep bop.

The poor door is brutally sealed shut; Lifa’s grandmother must truly value privacy.

Lucinda checks her cell phone.

ರೃ Lucinda: It is indeed quite late.

Lifa: Oh- you were grounded. Right? What do you want to do? Should I walk you out?

ರೃ Lucinda: No point in that at this point- as you pointed out. I am already late. I see no reason to hurry.

Lifa: Right.

ರೃ Lucinda: And here I thought you were proud of your work.

Lifa goes through like seven emotions in two seconds.

Lifa: What, but of course I am! How else would I have made it this far? I’m a published author overseas! Did I hide anything of quality from you? No! But try talking to your grandma about the nuances of drawing boobs at different angles. Just try it!

ರೃ Lucinda: I do not have grandmothers. They both passed away. One of them used to take me on walks to teach me how to cut down trees while my parents argued.

Lucinda closes her eyes, which is unusual.

ರೃ Lucinda: She taught me how to defend myself. It took me a decade to notice. I wish I could thank her.

… Both you and Lifa look at Lucinda with a laser eye. If that straight line is a smile then it’s the smallest smile ever- but it would still be on Lucinda Newhorn’s face.

Lifa: ……I’m so sorry to hear that. But, I am glad that you also got lucky in the weird grandma department.

ರೃ Lucinda: Me too.

Lucinda grabs a chocolate cookie and eats it piece by piece.

ರೃ Lucinda: This is not healthy.

Lifa: That’s not the point-

You glance at the Forbidden Love Counter on your shoulder; Hitomi is feeling the fear. Yeah, feel it bitch, feel it. Everyone loves food!

>Lifa also has a dildo signed by Marco Aurelio.

Something is shaking inside one of the drawers- something YOU left to shake. And given her face, Lifa, despite just showing her whole world to Lucinda at once, doesn’t seem that willing to take any more chances

especially not with the high-tech deluxe, collector's edition, ten and a half inches dildo.

ರೃ Lucinda: Pick up your call. I’ll be taking my leave.

Lifa: UM, it’s just Mom, she just likes to talk a lot. Besides, since you spent so much time here already… and didn't you say that you were going to stay just now?

Lucinda looks at Lifa, gently scratching her own cheek with a sharp, polished nail. Maybe that’s what gets her mental gears running.

ರೃ Lucinda: True.

And then out of nowhere, the Fucknado is going for the drawer-

Lifa: W-Wait!!

ರೃ Lucinda: I will turn it off. I like quietness.

Lifa: LOOK, I LIED! Don’t

Too late.

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Lucinda picks up the shaking dildo. You think that she thinks that, perhaps, it just wanted to be free too.

Lifa: First, that was rude! Second, I don’t use it! I’m totally honest! It’s just a reference for… for the futas!

ರೃ Lucinda: That is a shame.

Lifa: WHAT?

WHAT?

ರೃ Lucinda: I got one myself recently. I do still wonder why they enjoy it so much. Lifa, why are you wearing that face?

You glance at the Magical Girls from the Law of Cycles on your shoulder; all share the same stupid fucking face as you. It wouldn’t be /weird/, just a bit awkward… if it wasn't Lucinda.

Lifa: WELL, it’s just… you could pretty much be with anyone you wanted. That, among other things...

ರೃ Lucinda: I don’t see your point.

Lifa: No, sorry, I don’t have a point. I’m wrong. You hate people. Men pester you all the time. It makes sense. Sorry, the one that draws bishoujos getting screwed on a laundry machine has no right to be surprised by stuff like this.

ರೃ Lucinda: You lost me. What is a bishoujo?

Lifa: It’s just how you say ‘pretty girl’ in Japanese.

Lucinda Newhorn tilts her head sideways again. Considering her very limited range of emotions, that must be the efficient way she found to convey confusion. Lifa is covering her face.

Lifa: Look, I’m just saying there’s nothing wrong with that.

ರೃ Lucinda: I see.

ARE YOU MEGUCANIGGAS DOING YOUR PART?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=3PbdyJ_ybSI
https://youtube.com/watch?v=3PbdyJ_ybSI
https://youtube.com/watch?v=3PbdyJ_ybSI
https://youtube.com/watch?v=3PbdyJ_ybSI

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>>5772918
I was going to kill a bitch but I pussied out. Team Scary Blonde + Gremlin 2 is on the hunt tho.

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ರೃ Lucinda: I want to see your dog.

Lifa: My dog?

ರೃ Lucinda: Yes. I want to play with it.

Lifa: Oh, so, you like animals.

ರೃ Lucinda: No. I study them. Their emotions are much more simple, so I observe them.

Lifa: Well… interesting! I think you are headed in the right direction, then, and with the best teachers. But, I don’t own a dog. I was thinking of adopting an animal though. Which ones do you like? And- why a mammoth?

ರೃ Lucinda: Then who do you play with?

Wait…what? No way she's... Lifa blinks and blinks and blinks. She lets it sink in. Then smiles.

Lifa: We’ve definitely had a horrendous misunderstanding. I am dedicated to my craft, Lucinda, but not to the point where I’d have sex with animals. I am very, very much believing that you did not just not imply that.

ರೃ Lucinda: I did not.

Lifa: I… figured as much.

Lifa deflates, ending up even thinner.

Lifa: What did you mean by ‘who do you play with’?

ರೃ Lucinda: What I meant was: who do you play fetch with?

Lifa: Fetch.

Lucinda, who actually looks a bit surprised for once, nods.

ರೃ Lucinda: With this toy.

She shakes the dildo. Lifa’s lips curl and deform as realization slowly creeps in.

Lifa: That… is a sexual device.

ರೃ Lucinda: This is a toy for dogs. I got one myself. I use it to play fetch with the old white dog at the park. It has an ugly scar on the face.

Lifa: How… much does it look like the one I own? The, the toy?

ರೃ Lucinda: It is the same thing.

Lifa: In what sense? The color? The shape? The size?

ರೃ Lucinda: In every sense, except for the color and the lack of dents caused by the dog.

Lifa: Lucinda, you’ve been… throwing around a dildo, a device used for sex and masturbation, in a public park... to play with a dog. I-think-that maaaay explain many things that have happened to you.

ರೃ Lucinda: That is a joke.

Lifa immediately searches for dildos on the web. Lady Lu’s eyes widen.

ರೃ Lucinda: Oh. Indeed, it does. It does explain quite a few things.

You can only hope someone explained some of those to the kids at the park who saw her, other than their future therapist.

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ರೃ Lucinda: I was scammed.

She was not. As for Lifa… her cheeks are red yet again, but it’s a different kind of red. She’s trying so, so hard to not laugh, fighting a battle that ninety-nine percent of the Law of Cycles has already lost

Lifa: ohgodohpppPPPPPPPFFFF

that you lost too. Oh, god; oh, you. It’s ok, it’s alright… Everyone has the right to be a bit retarded sometimes. Taking that from someone, even Lucinda Newhorn, is just plain wrong.

ರೃ Lucinda: Why are you hiding your face? You are laughing at me.

Poor Lifa. She must be feeling so many things right now. Even fear. Especially fear. But it’s too much.

Lifa: HAHAHHAHA! SORRY! pfffffHAHAHAH!

Those two sapphires on Lucinda’s face stay perfectly still. Odds are, someone went to the park for a smoke and saw a beautiful teenager, someone that exudes raw nobility like Lucinda, throwing a big flying dick and likely hitting someone square in the chin- and then a happy dog picking it up. Lifa, in contrast, is alternating between laughing like a hamster on fire and apologizing profusely every three seconds.

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ರೃ Lucinda: I would like to know what makes this funny to you,

Anyone else would either get mad or laugh along just to pretend they aren’t out of sync- but not Lucinda. This is her immunity to social validation at play. She doesn’t understand what’s going on and that’s it. In her eyes, there is no reason to hide it.

ರೃ Lucinda: You had mentioned previously that laughter comes from relief. I’d like you to tell me where this specific relief is coming from. That being said, you are annoying me.

Lifa: SORRY. Ok, I’m back. Okay, let- let me think.

ರೃ Lucinda: I still do not understand why you need to think about something that you laughed about.

Lifa: Well, that is, eh, because these kinds of stuff and reactions come from the depths of your mind, you know? People don’t know why they do things or why they like things more than half the time. Oh god.

A smile creeps through her face. But she shuts it down.

Lifa: It’s just that… No, let me think.

Lucinda crosses both arms under her chest- yet the tip of the high heel is bouncing against the fake wood floor. Lucinda is impatient.

Lifa: This one is hard, you know. You are… so prim and proper all the time. It honestly makes me nervous. You make me feel like I’d be slapped if I looked at you the wrong way.

Which is a theory backed up by factual evidence and data. That was a subtle jab at the blonde for sure.

Lifa: To see you fail, it… it means that I can fail too. That I don’t have to be on guard all the time. You can’t expect me to be perfect if you aren’t, right? So I can be a bit more of myself and maybe you'll like that.

Lucinda waits.

Lifa: ...And it also means that not even being as strict as you will save me.

ರೃ Lucinda: I understand. You feel relief because you don’t have to be disciplined.

…Walking on thin ice there, Lifa. Nobody is laughing at the Law of Cycles anymore.

Lifa: Maybe just not as much as you.

You look at the Forbidden Love Counter on your shoulder, totally prepared to see Hitomi wearing a smug smile- but she looks scared now?!

Magical Girl that is a Lesbian In Japan, Which Is Super Rare: We've agreed that it was good stuff that Lifa clarified the dildo thing!

You wonder if everyone but you and Lifa glossed over the fact that she could have been using it herself. Whatever; as long as Lucinda herself doesn't catch on it's all good with that high-quality dildo.

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>You found a Grief Seed.

Time to do your job and change the subject before things go awkward! And what better way: having a Grief Seed at hand will surely prove that Lifa does value discipline- she can talk about the bloody battle all she wants. You glance at the Grief Seed that you found hidden inside a hollow bible- it stands upright on its needle no matter how hard you try to turn it sideways. You put it back on its hole and let it slowly slide down the open drawer- it falls uptight.

ರೃ Lucinda: This room is cursed.

Lifa: I am about to believe that!

She just sounded like a scared little kid. Lucinda simply picked up the still-standing bible.

ರೃ Lucinda: So you are religious.

Lifa: Not really. You?

ರೃ Lucinda: I never gave that topic thought.

She shakes it.

ರೃ Lucinda: There is a Grief Seed inside this book.

Lifa opens it up from her chest to confirm it. The Grief Seed spins gracefully in place, held there only by a few standing pages stacked together. She closes the book again and hides it in the same drawer.

ರೃ Lucinda: You have more of them.

Lifa: (shakes head) I’ve been saving that one for last for a while. It belonged… It's a friend.

ರೃ Lucinda: It is not your friend. Your friend is gone. That is food.

The little lich seems stuck choosing between five facial gestures, settling for neither in the end.

Lifa: It must be nice sometimes, being so coldhearted.

ರೃ Lucinda: You are talking about me. I’m telling the truth.

Lifa: I know. I’m not attacking you. I can’t let go. I can’t accept it, and it’s been years. I’ve decided I’ll be kicking that can for as long as I can.

ರೃ Lucinda: What can?

Lifa: The can is a metaphor for me realizing that my friend is well and truly dead- as you just said yourself.

……weeeeeeell, we can always just change the subject again! Or ask Felicia to smash their heads. No problem!

Hitomi’s pixelated face didn't change one bit. Well, Magical Girls with Grief Seeds... nothing strange about that, not at all.

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>The wardrobe is a goldmine- of hand-made cosplays.

You found perhaps the best way ever to change the subject immediately before Lucinda gets any colder and Lifa gets any wetter. You’ve considered just knocking the whole wardrobe down, but that could ruin the mood. Instead, slowly, slooowly and with carefully crafted, artful movements, you’ve been pushing the sleeve from the Akihabara maid dress out of the door. They just have to see it. If anything, Magical Girls are naturally born cosplayers by default.

Lucinda, who simply doesn’t know how to handle tragedy (other than by sheer brutality) sees the way out you’ve paved and takes it.

ರೃ Lucinda: There’s a sleeve.

Lifa: …A sleeve? Umm, Is it a metaphor? I’m not joining any dots here.

The Fucknado simply walks up to the wardrobe. Lifa looks like a crack dealer sharing a bus with a whole squad of the DEA, dogs included.

Lifa: Y-yeah… pain… my old friends… drama, right? I’m still… getting over it…

She’s sweating enough bullets to be a boss in Touhou. You wouldn’t be surprised to find out that Lucinda can look through walls and doors.

ರೃ Lucinda: This wardrobe is much bigger than mine. And it’s not a coffin either.

Lifa: A coffin?

ರೃ Lucinda: I’d like to see what’s inside.

Lifa: If you do that you’ll have to kill me.

Delivered with simplicity, serenity, and the satisfaction of a long life well lived- at least for a Magical Girl.

ರೃ Lucinda: I’m curious.

Lifa: Hello Curious. You will have to kill me.

‘Curious’ elegantly opens the wardrobe. Lifa shrieks like a hobo waking up from a nightmare.

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Lifa: -Y-YOU KNOW, for someone as stuck-up you don’t care about manners at all!

ರೃ Lucinda: I asked. You did not say no. You also did not say when I would have to kill you. You've shown me embarrassing things over and over. But more importantly-

The wardrobe, dedicated almost entirely to hand-made cosplays (except for one little corner with Lifa’s actual clothes) blesses the room with its many sparkling colors. A bar on the top holds a single, very packed row of hangers and each of those stole a different color from the outside world.

ರೃ Lucinda: What is this?

What Lucinda fishes out of the pool of dreams is a micro, micro, micro bikini. Pretty much just two strings sewn together and not enough fabric to make a single handkerchief.

Lifa: …That one. That’s the one you had to take out…

ರೃ Lucinda: What is the function of this?

Lifa seems stuck in Lucinda’s place now, unable to be sure if the blonde is messing with her on purpose.

Lifa: Put it on and find out.

ರೃ Lucinda: There is nothing to put on. You are joking.

Lifa: Yes, yes I am.

Lucinda hangs it back on the bar- but her dainty hand doesn’t return empty.

ರೃ Lucinda: What is this?

Lifa: Um. Doraemon.

ರೃ Lucinda: Ok. What is this?

Lifa: That, is an actual, realistic nurse uniform. I’m against watering down fetishes by making the clothes skimpier. If that truly is your thing then you are chewing it whole is what I say.

Does that even count as cosplay?

ರೃ Lucinda: What an interesting philosophy. And this?

What Lucinda pulls out again without permission is a particularly ragged and disheveled nun uniform, barely held together by faint threads.

ರೃ Lucinda: Someone was killed in this.

Lifa: Not… exactly.

Lucinda looks at Lifa.

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Lifa: Some people like ripping clothes off…

The yuri connoisseur gestures with her hands as if trying to draw something in the air. Then, she just shrugs like a thief wearing the exact same type of hat that its interviewer just lost.

Lifa: Maybe they think that clothes are some sort of prison? I don’t know. We all have our reasons for our darkness.

ರೃ Lucinda: Is that so. I do think I could get behind that particular one. What is this?

It’s a set of cat ears and tails. Lucinda seems… particularly vexed about this one.

ರೃ Lucinda: I thought you did not have sex with animals.

Lifa: Wait, what? AH! But, wait, you already knew about Weird Eyes bringing that fad here!

ರೃ Lucinda: That fad was not sexual. Humans do not want to have sex with cats.

Lifa: Lucinda, you- you aren’t on the internet that much, are you?

ರೃ Lucinda: I am. I look at the cars there.

Lifa: No. Sorry. This one is just too hard. Just- just look at this one. What do you think of this one?

It’s a very pretty, very detailed dress- but from what series, you can’t tell.

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The emerald hood and wide emerald cape spawning from it are the heart of it, but the detailed black leather coat underneath and the open-ended brown pants (never a good color for pants) bear the attributes of autumn without shame, yet mixed in with the fashion of a conman.

ರೃ Lucinda: …To be honest, I’m having quite a hard time figuring out how that set is sexual.

Lifa: It’s no, and not everything has to be. Just tell me if you think it looks pretty.

ರೃ Lucinda: I think it's ominous.

Lifa: Ominous? Why?

ರೃ Lucinda: That looks like it belonged to a Magical Girl.

Lifa blinks… but then actually takes a look at what she brought out herself.

Lifa: Oh…

She doesn’t answer.

ರೃ Lucinda: Are you thinking?

Lifa: Oh no, I’m just… never mind.

She puts it back into the wardrobe but just stays there looking at it, fixed in place like a broken statue.

Lifa: Yes, you are right. It looks like what one very special friend of mine used to wear.

ರೃ Lucinda: And you have a copy of her magical form.

Lifa: The thought of her being forgotten by everyone absolutely fucking terrifies me to the bone. It gives me sleep issues.

Wow.

ರೃ Lucinda: I see. I do not care, so do not tell me.

And with that, she just picks up the violin. Just like that. Mercilessly.

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>The violin

Often, you’d stop your many stalkings just to hear little obedient Lucinda, not-so-little-or-obedient Lucinda, and then Lucinda the Fucknado play the violin. Like right now. She was so convinced that riches would bring her paradise that all of that enthusiasm, always absent from her face, was spent on her fingers. A wounded Lifa stares at her wordlessly. Sharp notes fill the air, daughters of Lucinda’s chilling mastery and the soul of Mozart.

Lifa: …

Lucinda, you think as she plays, is the only Magical Girl you’ve known to bear all of the actual attributes that humans associate with true nobility- except for the gold and heritage. Elegant, steadfast, commanding, prideful in her honor, skilled in many fields, present on the field of battle, a checkmark in each item about standards of beauty… If anything, their parents did terrific work turning her into the ideal woman from the Medieval Ages. Until Kyubey.

ರೃ Lucinda: I do not know if you are enjoying this.

Lifa: I… what! Yes, I am, it’s just, I didn’t think I that should talk.

ರೃ Lucinda: You may.

Lifa: What should I say… What is that song?

ರೃ Lucinda: It’s Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart's Requiem, his final composition. He passed away before finishing it.

Lifa: Requiem?

Lifa looks like she’s connecting the dots.

Lifa: You said you didn’t care.

ರೃ Lucinda: I do not care to know the details.

The little lich became public at a secret concert; you wonder if she’s going to cry again. Magical Girls in general either cry all the time or never, their coping mechanisms are always extreme. But, she doesn’t. Perhaps she’s out of tears and all that’s left are the good memories. After a while, Lucinda is done. Lifa claps, cheerfully.

Lifa: I'm sure you don’t need me to tell you, but that was beautiful.

ರೃ Lucinda: I’ve invested too much in this skill. I want to believe it wasn’t all for naught.

Lifa: How long have you been playing? I don’t know how it works, so, do you play in an orchestra or a band or something?

ರೃ Lucinda: Neither. I’ve been honing this skill since my childhood, along with ballet, sewing, and cooking, along with the usual academics.

Lifa: Wow. I only have two skills and I lost like two years in school until I dropped out. But, sewing? As in sewing sweaters and stuff?

ರೃ Lucinda: Yes. I do not enjoy it, but I am good at it.

Lifa: If you don’t enjoy it then why and how did you get good at it? I only got good at my craft because I could draw pretty girls like you naked.

Heeeey there-

ರೃ Lucinda: My parents demanded that I do. They told me every day that those skills would lead me to a life of riches. That I could aim to marry a prince.

Lifa: A prince.

You can hear the disbelief.

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ರೃ Lucinda: A man of wealth, to be blunt. They’ve lured me into their scheme by feeding me luxuries they could not afford from a very early age. For example, they took me to both Alo’s and Anafe to eat lobster meat and taste caviar, and then they also took me on a trip to Singapore on a first-class seat when I was seven. They’ve been running away from debt for as long as I can remember.

Lifa: If that’s the case then I can’t even imagine how much they owe.

You know. It’s a number you’d use to measure yourself.

ರೃ Lucinda: I do not care. It is not my debt. They’ve deprived me of simple pleasures to keep my motivation alive; I have never been to a McDonalds. My contract made me realize that I have been escaping from this truth out of my own volition. Denial was my wish before. Now that it was all for nothing I am free.

Lifa: I can take you.

Lucinda looks at her.

Lifa: To a McDonalds. Never mind, it’s just- besides, food doesn’t need to be poisoned to be tasty.

ರೃ Lucinda: I wouldn’t spend my freedom to eat trash.

You feel personally attacked.

Lifa: Well… maybe a little bit, every now and then? Your parents are two pieces of shit, by the way.

ರೃ Lucinda: They are. They also are convenient. Any other power I could use would demand that I give something in return. I can use their delusions against them now.

Lifa: You don’t want to suck a fat rich guy’s dick to make ends meet, got it. Sometimes I feel that all of this is a scheme to push us into being someone else’s bitch or die.

ರೃ Lucinda: I do not have that choice. I can’t stand other people for that long.

Lifa: But; you’ve been here for a while.

Lifa points outside. It’s dark. The night is out there, not the afternoon or the morning she walked under.

Lifa: We’ve been at this for… I dunno, six, or seven hours? It’s almost dinner time. And all we did was talk.

ರೃ Lucinda: I see. I had not noticed. I got carried away by the novelty.

Lifa: Of meeting a hentai artist?

ರೃ Lucinda: Of speaking to the same person for longer than five minutes.

…

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Both stay in quiet silence for a bit. It’s not your usual awkward silence since no one is rushing to fill it. You don’t think anyone can last seven hours stuck in the same room with someone they can’t let their guard down with unless that person is sleeping or dead.

>Don't make anyone fall on top of anyone else.

That being said- dropping Lifa on Lucinda or into a jet engine would have the same result, and dropping Lucinda on top of Lifa, hmm... Nah, you ain't risking it. And no matter how that turned out, the Law of Cycles would still make that Hitomi smile just to spite you because of your opinions. You firmly believe that making love is that and only that- making love! A gesture of affection. A very unpopular opinion that gets you shit and pointed fingers to this day, but what do you care. That's the only reason you want it to happen. You want Magical Girls to love each other.

...You glance at the pixelated Hitomi again this time with a sharp, very judgemental eye. Your old friend doesn't look as hysteretic as she did back in the day; that is the final judgment of the Law of Cycles. Whatever, you had already disregarded their opinion- yet it's unsettling. Worried, you keep on spying on the two girls.

Lifa: Um… weren’t you grounded?

ರೃ Lucinda: My parents hold no power over me anymore.

Now that you think of it... that's so raw. Lucinda never spoke to other person for more than five minutes, so... Does she even consider her parents to be persons?

Lifa: Right. We should hurry then. Come. Bring the suitcase.

Lifa walks up to the open shelf at the end of the room, which is next to her messy bed. You try to focus- she’s touching an interesting snow globe that's just a breeze away from shattering against the wooden floor tiles.