prepare for 5 hours wait

Huh, interestingly, I apparently used a different trip in the first thread. Weird.

I buried it for a simple reason, any sentient magical Artifact that can exert a psychic pull on anyone, and furthermore communicates its title to me as "The Eye of Blight", is something that will obviously fuck the wielder over, and so I have chosen to temporarily ignore it. I had, after all, bigger fish to fry.

>>7324385
When did it say "The Eye of Blight",

If you will recall, I earlier laid an elaborate series of wards that would prevent scrying into the area where the prisoner was held, would prevent creatures with the Fey origin from passing, and would set off a loud alarm if any intruder entered the area. Naturally, my own wards do not consider me an intruder, or most of the other members of the party (Weeaboo being the exception.)

My first goal was to ensure that the prisoner's time of death was obscured, and I had begun to lay elaborate plans to do so...when I came to an abrupt realization. It did not matter if I was apparently the one who killed the Royal Guard, so long as it looked as though I had a very good reason for doing so.

>>7324408

It informed me of such when I was busy getting it out of the hole in the tree. It also promised me power, wealth, status...essentially, everything you'd expect of a very thinly concealed evil macguffin.

>>7324501
I wouldn't of even touched the thing

>>7324363

I apologize, as I've stated before, I go over my logs while posting every one of these threads, to ensure the utmost accuracy, since /tg/ seems to enjoy the play-by-play.

>>7324556

Neither did I, I used a shovel to maneuver it out, the fact that I wasn't discovered is probably due only to the fact that my DM still seems intent on me taking it up at some point and becoming the archenemy of all that is good, sweet, and fluffy.

Although I volunteered to take the guard shift immediately before Weeaboo, just so that he could personally go in and ensure I hadn't brainwashed the prisoner, this request was denied, and the order became instead Me => Half-Orc Ranger => Weeaboo.

>>7324340

>Gentlemen, Elf Murdering Thread Part IV now commences. Merry post-Christmas.

ExcitedLink.jpg

>>7324645
Is the weaboo not a half-demon wretch?
What say does he have in human affairs?

>>7324663

This is one of the big ironies of the setting, apparently. While the humans are portrayed as hidebound, traditionalist, greedy dickbags who want to KILL THE FORESTS, they're more racially inclusive than the Elves, seemingly. In reality, this is because the PCs don't all want to play as Humans, despite working for them. The Tiefling is an unabashed weeaboo faggot, who plays his Swordmage like a Bleach character (even to the point of shouting his attacks in combat), but according to the DM Tieflings aren't horribly uncommon because of greedy, power-hungry human mages consorting with demons. She was quick to say he was still persecuted. She doesn't like Dwarves or Half-Orcs, so she was perfectly willing to have them as "bad guys" allied with the Human Kingdom.

>>7324707
>She doesn't like Dwarves
>She doesn't Dwarves
>doesn't Dwarves
Shit just got real

Continue.

Way to go OP. Be a dick. Nothing is worse than someone who covers their masturbatory fanfiction with the veneer of a role playing game. People need to learn that the good guys don't always win, its ok for bad things to happen to your character, and motivations consist of more than "Kill bad guys".

Also, how big is the orb? You should get it painted, put it on a crown, and get some elvish artisan to give it to the weeaboo.

>>7324855

It's an Implement: Orb and thus about the size of a large grapefruit.

Anyway, onto the important bit. I took my shift at guarding the prisoner at the entrance of the cellar (described at the start of Thread III, I believe). At the end of my shift, I gave it over to the Half-Orc. As you remember, she has been my confederate and confidante in this enterprise, and because she was so far under considerably less suspicion than I was, her next actions made Weeaboo FFFF extensively.

>>7325041

Haha, sweet half-orc booty plots.

>>7325041
She also raped you...

Sometimes, an RPG is a collaboration between the GM and players. Sometimes it's a battle of wits between them. As long as both sides adhere to the rules and spirit of the game and keep having a good time as their ultimate goal, there's nothing wrong with that.

It sounds like the DM in this case may be improving. The game got kicked off the railroad tracks, and rather than have the Great Sprit of the Forest come outta nowhere and finger the perps, the GM's trying to handle it in game... and, hopefully, is restructuring the course of the campaign around the OP's actions.

I mean, OP made it fairly clear he doesn't want to be a hero of peace and understanding, and would rather kill his kingdom's enemies and burn their forests to the ground. And how does the DM respond? She literally drops the "Orb of Blight" out of the sky for him. I mean, nothing says "You wanna be the bad guy? Sure, let's go with that" like handing you an evil artifact. Sure, she's having the elves do a full investigation, but that makes sense in context.

The other players (except for the weeaboo) sound like they're having a lot of fun, too. And, really, is there anything better than that?

Answer: yes. A female half-orc who's willing to murder for you and wants your cock is better than that.

>>7324340
I am so fucking happy that you returned.

Your DM is irritating. She could easily have dropped a rock on you by now.

And here I thought I missed part 4.

I missed you so much, OP Elfslayer.

Elfslayer is easily one of my most favorite ongoing stories on /tg/ these days. Sure, it's not like heaping praise and adoration is going to make it come any faster, but what can I say?

The fact that it's violence against elves is immaterial. Magnificent Bastard plots are always fun to read about, even if you die in the end.

>>7325364
I too love magnificent bastardry, like rapeguard.

>>7325364

I'll agree here. The elves are irrelevant. They could be dwarves for all I care, so in awe I am of this man's savviness and Magnificent Bastardry.

>>7325364

As I see it, he'll either win gloriously or die in ignominy after having striven so hard and been so close to attaining his goals. Either makes for an excellent story.

Goddamnit OP, have you seriously not heard of Notepad?

Incidentally, I still haven't quite decided what to do, long run, with the Orb.

>>7325566

Inflict the orb on a party member. Don't use it yourself.

Type faster, God damn you!

>>7325566

Give it to someone else, preferably an angel of some sort. Seriously, that thing is bad news and will come back to haunt you unless you consecrate it or destroy it.

This was the tricky part. I spent time reading in my room, witnessed by the Dwarves, who professed to be bringing me food (which they mostly ate themselves) and sharing some wine (which they mostly drank themselves) and conversing, as friends do (they basically just drank my alcohol and ate my food, and we played some card games). For part of the time, however, I took advantage of a Hallucinatory Creature ritual and left a copy of myself there, seemingly passed out drunk. I am afraid this is becoming a running gag.

completely ignore it. if you report it to the elves, you will be the "dark harbringer of the orb" fortold in the prophencies, and put to death. if you pick it up, the elves will catch you with it and you will be put to death. really, it isn't what your character seems to want anyways. he just wants what is best for humankind, not to ruin the world for future generations.

>>7325566

Try and get the Weaboo to pick it up.

>>7325620
Give the orb to the elves as a gift?

>>7325364
Id love to see the epic showdown to this one..

Alright OP, the orb may or not be your downfall.

From what I know of your DM, this thing is demonic/evil and will wholly corrupt you. She probably plans to use it as a plot device to punish you, unless of course she's calmed down from the initial "oh god my bishie shlick toys are broke up... i hate that man..." phase.

Basically... DON'T mess with it.

Or... plant it on the weeaboo, claim he's evil/find a way to use it to blame him.

>>7325706

Echoing the sentiment of giving it to the weeaboo. Failing that if you think it might actually be a beneficial magical item, get the half-orc to get it. At the very worst, she might die, which would be a bummer but she's expendable and she DID rape you.

>>7325667
>>7325635

No, I'd advise against it. It seems to be one of those "Insta-Doom, Just Add Water" relics that will seriously throw a monkeywrench in anyone's plans. Just get rid of the damn thing.

OP u gunna post some more cos its nealy 4am here an am gerrin sleepy.

>>7325736
There's a conundrum here. You want to ignore it, but you can't put too much emphasis on ignoring it. Being a bad DM unafraid to railroad you into gardens and shit, she'll probably make the orb follow you around and always show up on your person or whatever. Extra points if she manages to shove in whatever TV Tropes calls it and does a frightening hambeast snort-giggle at her cleverness.

Why did I not leave my Familiar? Easy, I needed her for the next part.

There was a short break, though, where I cast Greater Invisibility on myself and made my way down to where the Half-Orc was. I went into the cellar room, cast the Silence ritual, and killed the Royal Guard while he was helpless and tied up. The DM was frantically rolling Strength checks for him to break his bonds, but since I stood outside the circle and pinged him to death, even if he'd gotten free there was nothing he could do. That is why I laid out the Circles the way I did, so there would be a place for me to stand. I dispelled the Silence ritual, transferred the corpse (which was in rather messy pieces to free it from its bonds) to my Handy Haversack. The Phantom Mask affects multiple creatures, so I cast it on both my Familiar, making us each look like the Royal Guard, and put myself in his place, securing (but not locking) the manacles on my limbs, the "sleeve" on my arms, and the mask on my head with the aid of my Familiar. My Familiar then concealed herself behind a shelf where she would not be visible from the door.

>>7325774

The thing is, though, she doesn't seem willing to call upon DM fiat yet, a thing many lesser DMs would have done in a heartbeat when facing a situation like this. I think that, aside from treating roleplaying as a masturbatory fantasy, she seems to be a fairly good DM.

>sentient magical Artifact that can exert a psychic pull on anyone, and furthermore communicates its title to me as "The Eye of Blight", is something that will obviously fuck the wielder over

Fucking brainstorm.

Use knowledge: planes or whatever, try and discern if this thing is demonic. If it IS demonic, you can say that the tiefling's demon blood is to blame for everything, and this was on him the entire time.

A magical object that talks to you, pulls you towards it, promises greatness, and will probably stalk you? You didn't find an artifact orb. You just found a Beheli.t

Welcome to the Godhand Elfslayer.

I am jizzing my pants in anticipation

The best thing to do with the orb is to leave it buried. The DM will probably find any excuse to fuck you over with it. And if you give it to someone else, they will probably fuck you over it with. In short, its a trap, and now that you have it buried, leave it alone.

The Half-Orc came to check on me, deliberately standing where she could see me, and not my Familiar, so that she could honestly claim she saw the Royal Guard if questioned magically. I had not shared the exact details of this portion of my plan with her for precisely this reason...to keep her from going down with me if I failed. This was between me and elfkind. The Half-Orc's shift ended. The Weeaboo did not try to check on me in my room, which I had been afraid of, since if he suspected anything he might prod the illusion and realize that was what it was, assuming he managed to get past the Dwarf brothers. I also had my familiar scuff the smaller Magic Circle, breaking it.

>>7325812

I think OP said that she's tried, but he's covered his ass so well that she can't do it without everyone calling shenanigans. Unless she decides to have Corellon come down, announce he saw everything, and condemn the Wizard (which I'll say that, in her favor, she hasn't done) there isn't much she can do. Then again, maybe she's just desperate to keep her group.

>>7325822
Kill all your friends.
advicevoid.jpg
gain PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWER

Fucking brilliant OP.

Your web of deceit is beyond anything I've ever experienced in any campaign.

>>7325822
Reference?
>>7325980
OP why not just stop?
Stop the plans
Stop the plots
Continue as normal
This will throw everyone for a loop

>>7326090
Berserk.

God tier twist at the end of the series.

And if he just quits... there will be no more fun. He just murdered the guard. Shit's getting REAL.

>>7326090

How would he stop? He's too far in; he needs to see this through to fruition or die horribly. What would you propose he do? Say, "Yup, I'm the one who killed all those people and tried to keep a genocidal war going on, please turn me into a tree"? Just run away back to the human kingdom with his mission unaccomplished? It's laughable.

>>7325980

Er, small omission, I waited until the Weeaboo had arrived, and subsequently gone to his post, to have the Magic Circle scuffed. Specifically, I had it scuffed someplace he would have seen from the door, due to the shape of the room, coming in. So that if questioned he couldn't claim the Half-Orc must have scuffed it. I have the feat that lets me communicate telepathically with my Familiar, so it wasn't hard to order her about.

As I mentioned before, the Weeaboo cannot enter past the outer, much larger Magic Circle, without my Eyes of Warning going off and making an almighty racket. This forces him to go inconveniently into one corner, on the far side of the room from the prisoner, to see the Royal Guard at all He can't get closer, it's well out of his range with most teleporting Swordmage powers. He comes in, sees me-masquerading-as-the-royal-guard. Due to the manacles being behind me from this position, he can't see that they are unlocked, either. He CAN hear me weeping and apologizing to the dead prince. The Weeaboo goes to stand outside the door and guard, after a maudlin description of his sympathy for the prisoner.

OOC, he was raging, because when he saw me delivering the Prince's lines, he KNEW something was up, and couldn't investigate it. I confess dickish glee at that.

Keep tempting the innocent elves to kill you. If they do the humans march in a whup thier ass! due to the fluff humans would be rich enough to have a fuck off army, youd die a martyr and all will be good.

Bah... go full Macbeth with this bad boy.

"More shall they speak; for now I am bent to know,
By the worst means, the worst. For mine own good,
All causes shall give way: I am in blood
Stepp'd in so far that, should I wade no more,
Returning were as tedious as go o'er:
Strange things I have in head, that will to hand;
Which must be acted ere they may be scann'd."

>>7326136

Best course of option in that case, leave the body under weeaboos bed, and use his escape portal and take the rest of the party back to the capital with the prince's body.

>>7326136
You misunderstand he need not say anything, Just stop and go on before this ever happened
He is not too far in, His tracks seem well covered

>>7326136
If he just quit now (which please god don't do that), there's nothing at all to prove he did anything but get sexed up by a half orc.

>>7326193
Did he not kill a noble elf?
If he takes back the princes body he could ignite a war.

Good god OP. It''s half-four in the morning here and now you spring this on me.

Fuck it, I'm going to bed. Someone better have archived this by the time I wake up. OP, your tale of tremendous dickery is something I look forward to every day.

>>7326205
mmmm delicious war.

>>7326205
Nobody knows he did it, and I'm not sure the elf is noble. He's captain of the guard, but I dunno about any legitimate nobility.

Besides he wants war. More than anything.

>>7326176

That's just abandoning the adventure. You're traveling through a lich's lair, you've prepared yourself well, its minions are vanquished and you're reasonably certain that you can defeat it. Then you decide to leave the dungeon and go back to town. It defeats the purpose of playing the game in the first place, you know?

>>7326217
Seconded.
Put the full story on 1d4chan.org

>>7326225
So, he loves war?

>>7324340
>Elf Murdering Thread Part IV

>>7326225
He doesn't want people to know which is good
>>7326228
Of course its not, Consider it a tactical retreat so that he may live and thus return to cause more havoc

>>7326205

You misunderstand. They're already at war. He wants to prevent any sort of armistice or ceasefire, and also conceal the Crown Prince's shameful elf-buggery.

>>7326231
For king and country and all that jazz, also it's in his character's background as a human of that kingdom.

>>7326231
Read the prequels.

The main reason for this isn't that he hates the elves' faggotry, he wants to keep the name of the royal line intact (no rumors of a sodomizing prince), and the second, more prominent reason, is that this war is boosting his countries economy, and thus it must go on.

Congratulations OP on successfully battling God.

A player fighting with a DM is like trying to outwit the Demiurge - you are a modern Odysseus, except I expect you to not be cowed by the petty threats of fat weeaboos.

Also, can you tell us a little about the Dwarf brothers? They sound like wonderful Neutral Fun characters.

Wait, so the Prince and the Captain are dead.

So, how will he finish this off and make sure the war goes on?

>>7326277
Hopefully blaming the weeaboo will be involved.

>>7326284
The cherry to top this cake of terror and madness.

>>7326306
Delicious sanity destruction.

>>7326284

Pull it off OP, I know you can.

OP, is there any more or do we have to wait?

I PM my next few actions to the DM directly, to keep Weeaboo from metagaming. I remove the "hood", "sleeve" and manacles, use a Salve of Power to get my Invisibility back (misidentified earlier as Greater Invisibility). Among the items I was carrying were a loose button from my cuffs, I tossed that button to my Familiar, who carried it to the edge of the outer Magic Circle. I leave, invisibly, going back to my room. My Familiar then scuffed the Circle and, and swallowed the button.

Earlier, I had designated "anything that has swallowed a button" when setting up my Eyes as an Intruder. The alarms go off with weeaboo barely any distance away. My Familiar, in the guise of the Royal Guard, flees the cellar. Weeaboo is still shrieking OOC when I point out that he has no way of knowing it isn't the person he acted sympathetically toward earlier. Having returned to my room and dispelled the Hallucinatory Creature there, I can finally act.

>>7326341

Shit just got real.

>>7326341

Er, worded specifically, I had set up the Eyes of Warning to recognize "my familiar when it has not swallowed a button" as a non-intruder. Sorry, the wording is a little arcane, if you'll excuse the pun. Either way, same effect.

>>7326341

>>7326376

>>7326341

you better archive this shit

MOAR MOAR MOAN

TYPE FASTER

The Weeaboo pursues. Now, a fun thing about Familiars is that when you get more than 20 squares away from yours, it teleports back to you. I had been careful to coordinate this with my Familiar throughout these adventures. For example, the Prince's room had not been far from mine when I had my Familiar masquerading as me there, the kitchen (when I was masquerading as a servant, getting the wine) had not been far from the room where my Familiar was pretending to be drunk on a couch and the others were partying.

The Royal Guard was a Swordmage, Swordmages are known for teleporting.

My Familiar doesn't need to outrun Weeaboo, just get a certain distance away...from me. In my room, on the floor above. "The Royal Guard" appears in a flash of light in my room, swings his sword at me in front of two stout, Dwarven witnesses, misses, and goes for the window. I follow.

I got Vinland Saga in the first tab, Pandora playing That Handsome Devil in the second, this in the third. And I'm eating blueberry pie.

Life is good.

>>7326341
Holy shit.
This guy is the GOD of planning.
At not one single step in this entire process could anyone else have done anything to stop him.

So the Tiefling saw "The royal guard" flee his bonds. However, this royal guard was your puppet. YOU had killed the royal guard and stored his corpse.

I bet now the Tiefling says he saw the guard flee, you implicate a struggle between the two, and the tiefling gets time, right?

>>7326511
Well that's all well and good but how do you implicate the weeaboo?
I guess you don't. Still, looks like a completely clean kill.

>>7326511

Damn you! Why must you make me preemptively use my "Shit just got real" .gif when all you're going to do is make shit get realer?

<--- Tiefling.

I had prepared a number of Wall and Zone-type spells that day, enough to obscure the space outside with clouds of various sorts, Walls of smoky flame. Vision was obscured, but thanks to my friends Prestidigitation (fun spell, and invaluable in cleaning up the blood and smell of the Guard's corpse earlier), Ghost Sound, and my natural skill with Illusions, made it seem as though an epic battle was taking place. Some Bluff checks were rolled, and easily passed. I even used some of my phantom-warrior tricks from earlier to give myself a few injuries, since Familiars can't actually attack (just menacingly pretend to). During the fight, I spilled the parts of the Guard's corpse onto the burning ground, with my Familiar over them (the pieces, naturally, were obscured by the fmales). Finally, with a last attack that would slice a foe to pieces as I described it...I killed my own Familiar.

The fun thing about Familiars, you see, is how easy it is to bring them back.

>>7325260

I just realized something.

The half-orc is an infinitely more interesting version of Misa.

>>7326606
Shit just keeps getting realer and realer.

>>7326606
see
>>7326553

>>7326511

Detect lies: "who killed the Guard Captain"

OP: "I did."

Fucking Brillliant.

>>7326529

Nope. I'm going to point out that everyone else in the party had an alibi, SOMEONE scuffed out my Magic Circles, and that the alarms went off precisely as they would have if the Weeaboo had crossed them. Incidentally, I'll ask why someone as proud of his swordsmanship as he was wasn't able to stop someone weakened by captivity.

>this entire thread

>>7326639

Yeah. He did. Everyone saw him kill the Captain in self-defense.

>>7326606

>>7326617

Can't unsee.

>>7326644

Guess what time it is?

>>7326639
the real question the OP should be worried about is "WHEN did you kill the captain."

>>7326677
OH SHIT

You also killed the prime suspect in the Prince's murder. Witnesses saw it. The Elves can't blame you for anything, and to mankind you're a HERO.

>>7326606

Son of a bitch, mate. . . What happened next?

>>7326677
Like a DM of that calibur would think to ask that.

>>7326681
"I killed him on this very date."

>>7326677

"What? Today. Examine the body, the corpse is clearly fresh. What are you implying?"

>>7326681

He killed them on the same day, just answer with that. Or "When he dishonored the honor of my homeland, brought about the death of its prince, and thought he could get away with it."

Besides, the Elves saw him kill the Guard Captain, why would they need to ask when he did it? Plus, Illusionists use Cha as a secondary, this guy probably has Bluff out the ass...and like he confirmed earlier, the Elf Clerics suck at Detect Lies.

>>7326700

Better:

"I killed him earlier today. You saw me." Two statements. People DID see him, and he DID kill the captain.

He probably wouldn't get away with saying "you saw me kill him," since they only saw him kill his familiar.

My big question now involves what to do with the Orb. I am sure this has the potential to backfire hilariously, but...if I was going to wuss out from playing with fire, I wouldn't have started this whole saga.

This, all of this, needs to go up on 1d4chan. ALL OF IT!

Goddamnit I'm trying to make up a Caruso one-liner to even come close to the awesomeness of this, but its just impossible.

>>7326773

There's playing with fire, and playing with demons. These are two separate things. Consecrate it, break it, give it to your God, hurl it off the edge of the world, bury it in the wilderness, it doesn't matter. Just ditch it. Drop that adventure hook faster than something that's very fast at dropping things.

>>7326773
Blame it on the Weeaboo, and your incredible saga of dickery will be complete.

>>7326773

Allowing the thing to get close to you is essentially allowing a security loophole the DM can freely exploit, especially since you don't know what the orb is. I suggest giving it to the weeaboo, but pretending like you want it. You fight over it, throw the fight, get away, and the weeaboo gets the artifact. IC, everyone sees him as the BBEG.

>>7326773
Don't do shit with the Orb. Just leave it there.

>>7326773
>>7326773

Whatever happens, you CAN NOT TOUCH IT. Even getting close is probably bad- you saw what it did to the tree. Probably harmful death magic mate. Gonna fuck you up twelve ways to sunday. Honestly, I'd ignore it. But quite evidently, I don't think on the same scale as you. Maybe you can think up a way to make it work for you. Me? I'd head back to the homeland and be done with it. Start a war for fun, profit, and hatred of those fucking elves.

>>7326773
handle it in the exact same way Gandalf handled Saruman's Palantir. Securely wrap it, then safely do research about it once you've returned to the human kingdom.

Alternatively, put on a pair of gloves then chuck it at the weeaboo.

He's playing 4e, so there's no hardcore interrogation magic anyway.

>>7326773

Why would the noble, selfless captain of the guard kill his lover, try to escape judgement, and attack his jailers?

Simple. He was under the sinister influence of the EYE OF BLIGHT!

This is the Truth, as will be written in the histories. How to bend events to fit this Truth is in your hands.

>>7326773

Have your familiar, disguised as you, tell the weeaboo where it is. Have it mention it had spoken to "your" mind and guided "your" steps, and that you fear it has been corrupting you since (whenever you started pissing him off). Then, your mass-dickery looks like DM plottery. Bonus points if you can suggest, to him, that it is clearly trying to raise the flames of war.

Note: You need that familiar back first. This may or may not be a problem.

>>7326773
What exactly is the orb supposed to do? Someone suggested giving it to the weeaboo, but I doubt he will live long enough for that to come to fruition. Alternatively, have it end up in the hands of the elf nobility, or whatever passes for leadership in Mary-Sue land. I doubt that will work though. It is too unpredictable and directly controlled by the DM, best to just toss it.

>>7326639

Where did you kill the guard captain?

Sir I wish every player in my group was you. Why? Because you fucking PLAY BACK. I spend hours making shit, and have my players treat it like a new region in WoW. Just another place to kill monsters and to trade armor. While you actually try and interact with the setting.

>>7326773
or somehow frame the weeaboo in such a way that he digs it up in your place. aka he gets word that it's some sort of doomsday weapon, he touches it, queue already paranoid elfs finding him going all gollum.

>>7326773
I say play with the orb a bit and see what it can do and at what cost. The DM obviously doesn't know what she is doing with it so maybe it will be a contract like deal where you can find a loophole.

Just leave the eye there. Let some poor mary-sue elf living in la-la land take it. Laugh as they burn.

OP

When your plan is fully complete, all blame is shifted off of you, and you've gotten away scot-free, here's what you do:

Make a recording of your best evil laugh. Practice it, rehearse it, refine it until it gives you chills. Send the recording as an MP3 file to each of the players. For the weeaboo, add "Keikaku doori!" at the end (make sure you pronounce it correctly, though, look it up on youtube).

OP, one dissenting opinion, my one worry about giving Weeaboo the Orb is that the DM MIGHT decide it makes him superpowerful, and then he kills you before succumbing to angsty evil. Or his pure heart overcomes it. Or something like that.

<--------OP.

>>7326838

Familiars come back by taking a Short Rest.

>>7326783

I'll leave that to one of you. I feel it would be self-aggrandizing to make an article about my own work.

>>7326907
Especially when drunk from lots of wine.

Goddamnit man, is there more?

>>7326907

Better suggestion: Have your familiar disguised as a translucent, etherial CotG. Have him approach the weeaboo. Have him intimate that he was under control of this fell artifact that is poisoning elfdom. Have him suggest (in a subtle, roundabout manner) that whatever the fuck he thinks you are may have planted it in the forest around hither or yon. Have him ask the weeaboo to help destroy the artifact.

When the weeaboo comes back with that, make sure the half-orc will disagree with that plan.

No, wait, it would be your lines. This may or may not work, depending upon the weeaboo's knowledge of your actions.

I'm going to have to say don't fuck with the Orb. It's the one thing you don't have control over, because you don't know enough about it. It's a liability to mess with it. Put it out of your mind.

>>7326967
I think the session ends there.

Sir Elfslayer, when will the next session be, and when should we expect your next report?

>>7326989

I have to argue he should. OP has successfully completed all objectives, scrubbed the evidence, and is currently done with the plan. All he has left to do is go home and drown in ale and whores.

Wait a minute, I think I agree with you instead.

What next OP?

What's in store for you?

Also how did the DM and weeaboo react?

Op...don't listen to a single person in this thread. I have my doubts any of us, contrary to what we might think, can reach your current level of Magnificent Bastardry. Just do what you do man.

Just do what you do.

The orb smells like one massive trap. The thing about it is, is that with so many unknown factors around it, the details are highly mutable and thus anything can happen.

Make an offhand Arcana Check for Orb of Blight to see if you've ever heard of it next time you plot. If it sounds like something usable, try to go for it. It sounds like a liability though, and until you can frame the weaboo, don't try anything regarding it.

The Half-Orc might decide its time for a congratulatory date raping. So you best keep that in mind.

>>7326266

How did I miss this earlier? Bali and Baldin, a pair of Dwarven champions (we're high-Paragon Tier). Bali is a Valorous Bard, Baldin is a Fighter. They have a themesong (although Baldin is a terrible singer) which changes constantly, and they brofist or slam their foreheads together often. They're also known as the Rumbling Brothers. Although they're identical twins, Bali had a childhood illness that left him physically frail, while Baldin's active military lifestyle left him little time to develop his brother's social graces (if I'm remembering it correctly). Bali is supposedly exceptionally handsome by Dwarf standards, although they look identical...which is the joke, I think, non-Dwarves wouldn't know what to look for.

I picture Elfslayer as being a more alcoholic, wizardly version of Light Yagami.

Also, I seriously want some drawfaggotry from this.

>>7327118

I don't think even OP can manipulate his way out of that one. Nor should he want to.

>>7327188
its all in the subtle trimming of the beard. one foul snip and you're doomed to be Beergut the Ugly for the rest of your 200+ years.

>>7327118
I think OP should rape the half ork back. Fairs fair and all.

>>7327217
>rape the Orc back

Its DATE-rape, when you get her so drunk she cant tell whats going on.

>>7327188
The gay elf slayer chronicles. Come for the massive scheming, stay for the Rumbling Brothers.

>>7327086

Session ended with me having seemingly slain the Royal Guard Captain in self-defense. Weeaboo screaming that I was a bastard who would burn in hell OOC (I'd copypasted him what I'd sent to the DM to keep him from metagaming, the bits where I'd actually killed the Guard and how I'd disguised what was going on...you know, the whole button thing), and only just arriving on the scene IC, along with the other party members. Some Elven Guards were present and had witnessed the battle, along with a few Elven dignitaries.

>>7327249

It's like a circus in here.

>>7327200
"THE WEEABOO DID IT. KILL HIIIIIMMMM"

Later that evening!

"Just as planned! *hic*"

I just happened to drop by and saw this.
I'd been waiting for this to show up in suptg archives, and even if I seem to have missed most of it, this still made my day.
OP, you are a genius. I only hope that you're as good a DM as a player, because that's all you need to be truely epic.

>>7327200

OP as a Light Yagami-esque wizard sitting atop a modest throne, his half-orc compatriot standing at his right hand. To his left, the dwarf brothers brofist. The weeaboo, identified by inuyasha-style inumimi, is lying before him, chained and shackled. The heads of the human prince and the elf captain of the guard are both mounted on the wall, with "TRAITOR" and "DEVIANT" written under them (or carved on their foreheads), respectively. In the background, the forest burns and the elves are fighting the humans, losing. Beneath the pic, a caption reads JUST AS PLANNED

>>7327286

When you're done with this plotline. . . This. . . all of this. . . Do you think you could post all of your logs on 1d4chan.org? We'd be honored to see your group's shenanigans from your perspective hosted on 1d4chan.

>>7327286
Oh ho! Even better!
Only better witnesses would've been children.

So, now you assassinate elven nobles, and 'port the heck out of there?

>>7327286

My next char- Illusion forever.

>>7327321

I've mentioned this before, but I'm leery of giving out screennames or logs, to protect the people involved. Besides, the logs are really, really long and have a lot of extraneous, boring stuff. There's a lot of roleplaying and interaction going on around and in between my plotting, which is why it might sound like some of the players haven't been doing much.

...Incidentally, the Half-Orc and I haven't talked yet about the revelation that she violated me while I was drunk. Still not sure how to handle it.

>>7327316

>wall
>forest in background

I just realized this doesn't make sense. The fighting is visible through a window or something. Also, the half-orc is striking a sexy pose showing her -4 str muscles, maybe she's eyeing the OP with a little heart above her head.

For the love of Bane, has this been archived yet?

>>7327329

No, if he assassinates anyone else it would put the group into a too precarious situation.

Right now the weeaboo is taking the fall, and the rest of the party is going along with the cunning bastard OP. Perfect.

Returning now would make him a hero.

One of two things will happen now. Either the elves will turn weeaboo into a tree (their death sentence as OP has explained), since they have no legal system. Or they will return to the human kingdom and have him put up to a real trial.

Unless OP wants to fuck with the elves a bit more.

>>7327354
Handle it more or less how you are now? Your character isn't sure what to think, or what to do... or for that matter, how much he remembers about it.

On the subject of logs, you could simply censor the names, replace them with character names (DM or God, for the DM), edit out parts that you feel you shouldn't post, ect.

>>7327354
Her character might be in love with you.

Go with it, an accomplice that loves you is useful beyond anything else.

>>7327354
my advice? good co-conspirators are hard to find.

>>7327400
lol Death note much? I can't see this half-orc merc actually being in love despite OP's obvious charms

Not to make a solid judgement on this, but I feel like telling Weeaboo what you did, even OOC is a bit risky. It increases the chances that he will "just coincidentally" figure out how to stop you.

Thread archive confirmed:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/7324340/

>>7327368

Someone got there before me and listed it as part 3 for some reason instead of 4.

>>7327456
Yeah, I noticed that. Typo, perhaps?
Does anyone know how to fix that? It'll confuse people later, I'm sure.

>>7327354

Roleplay being conflicted about it. You like her, you don't mind working with her kind, but your parents didn't raise you to sully your human blood with race-mixing.

It's not that you don't want to... but impulses like that have to be controlled. And the mission has to come first.

Basically, get the GM thinking you're a tragic, repressed orc-lover. Get her on your side a bit, imply you understand the lure of... impropriety, which the prince wasn't strong enough to resist. Make her think your character is having a change of heart, and might confess and try to fix everything given the opportunity.

Use the opportunity she gives you for further political gain. After all, loving someone of the opposite sex who works with you for the kingdom's good is completely different than shacking up with a fag from a hostile kingdom.

OP and group (including DM, sans tiefling bro though) get FUCK YEARs all around.

OP for being Batman, in 4e, no less.
Half-orc for being an amoral mercenary to DATE RAPING degrees.
DORFS for being DORFS.
DM for rolling with it.

>>7327354
Would your character mind SNOO SNOO from a lesser race?

Given how Machiavellian you seem to be acting, I'd use the character's attraction to yours as an advantage.

OP,

this is the first /tg/ continuation thread thing I've ever followed, having been on /tg/ for some 3 years now. I want to thank you. You are truly a shining beacon of light in a sea of shit.

Thank you OP. It's 7 in the morning, I woke up at 5 from a recurring nightmare, thinking today will again be livejournal-terrible. Then you pop up.

I think I kind of love you.

>>7327316
>>7327367
I see it.

It is glorious.

>>7327588

Not really. She's Half-Orc, they're our allies. A visible love affair or marriage might damage my career, but personally I wouldn't mind her race In Character.

Hoooly shit.

I am sorry for ever losing faith in your ability to magnificent bastard it up.

Wow.

Wow.

I was born to read this, OP. You Magnificent Bastard.

You are the only one who has ever earned that title as far as I know.

>>7327646

Your character should indeed keep it on the low (make sure no bo dy don't no-o), but like you said earlier- he's not looking for career advancement, he's in it for the kingdom.

And as well, you could email me the logs, and I'd spend some time personally editing out the names before writing it up.

>essentially, everything you'd expect of a very thinly concealed evil macguffin.
>Psychic pull
>Orb of blight
...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One_Ring
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stormbringer

It eats souls.

>>7327286

>(I'd copypasted him what I'd sent to the DM to keep him from metagaming, the bits where I'd actually killed the Guard and how I'd disguised what was going on...you know, the whole button thing)
dude big mistake, the less people know the less likely it will come back to bite you in the ass

OP, I highly approve of your intrigue. Deception and controlling misinformation is the primary detail I lack in my works. You impress me. I know you don't intend on giving out the logs or IDs of your companions, but perhaps some information about you?

You mentioned East Coast time. If you live between Philidelphia and NYC I'd be interested in RPing with you. Alternatively, what Online Forum do you use, and would you be interested in challenging my skills as a DM?

>>7328056
Ah, but the more they know OOC, the more they know that they have absolutely no way of stopping you, proving you've done anything wrong, or any reason to believe it's you IC.

He may be a weeaboo, but he doesn't seem to be so incredibly terrible that he would metagame too severely.

OP seems to be gone now, but if you could get some logs up on 1d4chan with the names changed....

I'd have your child.

>>7328032
The Penis of Vecna, too