Come on /tg/, don't make me drop a bump
just cuz you can't rhyme, make ya feel like a chump

Figures I'd have to be here with no access to my "Support the Fine Arts, Shoot a Rapper" image.

BE

What you're not expecting is my Iron Heart Surge
This ain't a rap, it's your funeral dirge
Already undead? Then get ready to suffer
My words cut sharper than a Holy Avenger

>>10123704
>suffer
>Avenger

I see how it is, no challengers here
quiverin neckbeards tremblin with fear
Monk of Funk holdin in his rhyme
I'll wait a bit longer
for you to come up with a line

RAP = Retards Attempting Poetry

RAP = Crap, whose homie C got capped.

RAP = Pure Drek.

>>10123704

Finally, a fa/tg/uy with some guts
one hand on the keyboard, one on his nuts

Funeral son, I like that noise
start your dirge now, call your boys
my fists be magic, my fists be lawful
Aint no undead here, but yo stench is awful
holy avenger, hah i see that trick
ten gold to your name, you cant buy that shit
best beg the dm to let you get a prize
But your dice cant roll big, just hafta die

>>10123760
Rap is not bad.

>>10123679

Yo man you think your rhymes are slick
But if you think about it they just suck dick
We're not your homies or your click
And we sure as hell ain't your side-kick
So sit down or shut up. Take your pick

>>10123842
Behold my rap
this will rhyme
wait no
it won't but maybe the next line
...wait

Yo, yo, yo check it.
Who the fuck you think you are?
Coming up in here and challenging me?
Yo ima knock yo bitch-ass so hard.
That when you wake up you won't be able to see

Yo you think you're the shit
But you can't stand up to my spit
You're so fuckin far/
below my CR/
That even while under the influence of delerients
For this I probably won't even get experience

Bitch you talking will saves
And you talking rollin dice
Well bitch i'm talking raves and shit
and decking out in ice

So before you come back,
"monk of funk"
Think before you rap
Else we'll be sayin
"Monk? Dude's junk"
While you're bitch is
gettin
tapped.

representin' eye of terror up in this bitch.

>>10123867
>click

You mean clique?

>>10123679

What a cute rhyme, bet you worked all night
thinkin' it up, well now you've got a fight
So I'm here representing for my main man
None other than Slaanesh, better check your SAN
Cause he'll throw a party that'll blow your mind
So why don't we all cut loose and unwind
It's a friday night, let's get some raps goin'
Since the OP's skillz havn't been showin'

Yo /tg/ I herd you liek dem nigguhs
nigguh nigguh nigguh nigguh money bitches hoes
nigguh nigguh nigguh nigguh money bitches hoes
Homes over hoes homies over hoes
nigguh nigguh nigguh nigguh money bitches hoes
nigguh nigguh nigguh nigguh money bitches hoes

>>10123879


Oh shit, OH shit, OH SHIIIIIT

Noise marine, hah that's all I hear
No rhyme to hear of, no skill over here
My fists be lawful, overcome ya DR
Fuckin beat you and ya CR
sock boom smack pow
whippin ya like a drow
cant get up now
too much damage to handle
more hits than the dm will allow
So damn grimdark-dark
cant see in front of your face
only hearing my words, bringin you disgrace

>>10123939
hear and here. God damn, you are horrible. Stop this, please.

>>10123879
METER
DO YOU SPEAK IT

>>10123939

If we want to rap than that's what we'll do
But don't expect us to fucking impress you
I swear to The Emperor you must be new
But your style's as old as Pikachu
So just go back to writing you fic's Mary Sue
We're all done here. Shit is through

>>10123842
Now I see you got mystical, furious fists
Eastern feng-shui, and all that shit
Skin ain't half as strong as dwarven steel
My mic's cold iron, my words an iron heel

Full attack pounce following a verbal charge
I'm Medium size, but my rhymes are Large
If you ain't Stable, then get ready for Improved Trip
Your style is prone, your verbal wrists are limp

>>10123948
>implying this is serious rap and not just for fun
>okay hun?

You call yourself the monk of funk
Steppin' an' reppin' like you know krunk
But son, you're just another 2bit punk
Sit right down while I educate you, bitch.

You think you're special coz you fight with yo hands
Coz you took a vow of poverty and renounced all yo lands
I'm telling you it makes you no different to any other homeless fuck
And with flow like that on my bone you can suck

DJ Cadaver, lay me a beat.

I'm a lyrical master
A black magic caster
My flow is faster
Magic blastin' right past ya
I'm an abomination
A 1 man nation
Giving you some education
Becoz your flow is weak
Shut it, don't even speak
Coz my bro's might reek
But you'll find they're more then a match for you

No matter how fast you are, you can't outrun my magic missile
No matter your dicipline, you'll die after a short while
And then I'll bring you back, set yo in yo place
A cheap dancing zombie thrill in your case

>>10123879

Well what a sight for sore eyes, a fellow man of the prince of pleasure
What brought you over here, XP or treasure?
Whatever the case, I think it's best
That we put the so called "Monk of Funk" to the test
He can't hold his own against two bros of the eye
He's practically dead already, he shouldn't even try

I see a lot of words
but not a lot of talent;
from the rhymes you've been bustin
I have doubts you're even salient.
Props for your courage,
but it's over, son, you're done:
01010100.01101000.01101001.01110011.00100000.01101100.01101001.01101110.01100101.00100000.01110111.0
1101111.01110010.01101011.01110011.00100000.01100010.01100101.01110100.01110100.01100101.01110010.00
100000.01100001.01110011.00100000.01100010.01101001.01101110.01100001.01110010.01111001.

>>10123998
This dwarf is so brave
Comin out of his cave
Away from his anvil
Into the light of day

But I tell you what urist, get back to the fort
I see a rhesus macaque
And he's sMONK OF FUNK INTERRUPTED BY RHESUS MACAQUE

>>10124068
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SHIT

>>10123939
Yo bitch you bring that weaksauce
fucking 12 lines of whack
Bitch you you gunna get tossed
fuck your shit from front to back
It's noise marine ned in here
my 1+ save is invulnerable
My flow's totally untouchable
and my lyrics are innumerable
You fuck monk I bet you can't even
pronounce words like that
and if you can't why ain't we seein,
you using words above a 5th grade vocabulary?
Or rhyming like you read a book,
before we went you to the mortuary?

You think your puny close combat weapons
Can touch my powered-armoured ass?
Bitch you fuckin best be trippin.
Don't be givin me that sass
My damage reduction is infinity/jack shit
My armor class is 90
My fort, reflex, and will saves are high as I am
And I you can't even find me.
My weed smoke grant's me total concealment
All you detect is flow from floor to the cielin

Your 3 good saves aren't going to save you now
My rhymes are like a forcecage
You totally trapped, and you don't know how,
to escape cuz you ain't got a mage.

Goddamnit if Sword n' Board doesn't make an appearence I will be sorely disappointed

>>10124015
Up from the grave
out into the night
comes a worm ridden sucka
spittin rhyme this way

I don't need no lands, like a punk six feet under
sleep under the stars, deal with rain wind and thunder
raise ya dead, ill push em back down
then your turn
WHACK A LICH
Get the fuck underground

Extend a challenge to /tg/?
Man, you know we'll take it
Just wait 'til SnB shows up with his fake shit
Joking around man, his rhymes are legit
Flow so hot it makes amateurs quit

I'm Mix-Mastermancer, son
Dropping spells and beat
Fireballs so hot, it'll put your bitch in heat
Come back for round two, the show'll repeat
Rhymes so good it's a 4th ed feat

I wish Sword and Board were here
;_;

Back for round two
And this fight just ain't fair
Firin' away while everyone stares
Triple M dog, and I'm holdin' my own
You're in trouble, and about to be shown
Just what's up when you step in my lair
Without a care, shootin' out a rare stare
You're just in time to see me be a bear

And then I was a bear.

What is this another rap thread?
Its not like it'll make you any bread.
All day you know I'm the Emperor's son,
But I'll be Emperor damned if my planet ever seen the sun.
Straight up in this bitch like a bat out of hell
Excuse the pun but this shit I gotta tell,

So flung into to warp you know how it is,
Stolen from birth by the chaos forces.
But I'm not bitch made and I didn't make no fuss
Just bust straight out of Nostramo's crust
No mama no daddy not like my brothers nothing on my feet
Only teacher I needed was the streets

So look around and what do I see
Criminal scum from sea to darkening sea
So I bust my move, made my scene, knew I wouldn't falter
Whos that crazy Primarch?
Hes the motherfucker Night Haunter.

>>10124180

I second that emotion. Shit is cash.

>>10123878
>>10123878
This is the best rap in this thread

Comin' straight out of the eye with something say
These rhymes need more Her-rah-say
Noisy Ned can only rep so far
You all know how those Slaaneshies are
You can all hate on those from the galactic west
But we're the only ones that have stood the test
of time, ten thousand years of Hate
and bitterness, I think we need icing on this cake
For those of you who weren't there to see it happen
I gave your god emperor quite the bitch slappin'
He tried to play the good ol' absentee father
but honestly he shouldn't have even bothered
I did the Warmaster gig all on my own
While he spent his time making chairs at home
Even invited Rogal Dorn to play
Fuck that, fuck him, and fuck terra I say
If anyone can claim power on humanity
Horus here, Warmaster for eternity!

>>10124101
They call you noise marine
'Cause noise is all you're makin'.
You have a rhyme or two
but your beat, has it been taken?
Here's a hint, helmet-head:
Mid-short-long, 1-down-and-2
Do it with me now
Simple counts you can bestrew.
Your armor's nice and pink
but my metal eye is keen!
You think your flow is fresh
but marine, your rap is green.

This thread is Heresy, a waste of damn space
When I set the guardsmen, I'll put you in your place
I mean rap is fine but damn
Please turn down the ham
Pull back the scam
Watch as I
*BLAM*

You think this is funny, you think you're top shit
With your excess and hopes for a crit?
Don't think you're top gun
Man thats worse than the worst pun
Watch me here poke fun
Lemme call the marines watch you run

Humans we got it all
Watch us rise you fall
As we play the reels
All you've got is what you steel

Because thats it it's the name of the game
All you're doing, shit it's all the same
Making zombies taking cultists
Man that's sad look at our thiests

You KAPTOORED IT FOR KAY-OSS
Lemme show you who's boss
Reeling back from the loss
And watching neckbeards go SAUCE

>>10124380
You started out real strong,
but then it turned to dreck.
But what would you expect
from a rotting heretic?
Yeah, those claws are nice
but you fell in the end!
Hey, kinda like this battle
and the power you pretend!

>>10124431
Yo yo yo
You ever even heard a rap battle?
Don't be bringing that high school shit here
Or you'll get butchered like cattle
You say the first line should be short
Like the OP's attention span?
Or like your dick?
Or the lives of people in afghanistan?
And the middle should be long
now long, I can feel
Long like my dick
or your dildoes.
Fer real.

Listen up mate.
until you get some experience in rap.
Don't be bringing that english teacher crap.
Or, like the monk of spunk,
You gunna get slapped.

>>10124454

If everything was as clean as that last bit, that would've been impressive.

Oh shit what have we here, what a disgrace
Bunch of busters think they can rap, y'all out of place
What a waste
When I'm done y'all wish you could erase every trace
Hide your face, y'all are about to get maced and defaced by my lyrical grace, debased
I set the pace, hit the treble drop the bass
You're the two I'm the ace, knock you down like a vase that ain't braced
Whatever your race I'll give chase lock you up in a case and misplace take your place with your girl all in lace it's me she'll embrace
So you'd best displace to save face

In my moms basement
full neck beard
check out tg
CHALLENGER APPEARED!
bust out my mike
take a sip a' mountain dew
rocka fresh beat
now I'm spittin at you

Hittin y'all hard
like barbarian rage
don't know the rule?
I bookmarked the page
Look it up, take ya time
I gots no where to go
I gots mad rhymes
cuz I gots no ho.

Rollin 20s all round
mad loots on mah sheet
dead kobolds all around
my fire mage brought the heat!

>>10124563

Pro-tip: Googling "What rhymes with disgrace" is cheating.

>>10124502
>>10124454

Well, well, lookie here you mortal men are so cute
I'll watch you live
watch you die
watch your bones melt into soup
I don't think you can grasp what immortal means
I live forever and my life is the stuff of your dreams
Sure, yeah, Hey I took a minor setback
But these points of eight are still on the attack
You can't kill us
You can't beat us
We'll be here to the end
Cause we're made of the very stuff you got within
Yeah get angry
Yeah crack that smile
Hang some new wallpaper
It doesn't matter someday you'll die
Then all I can say is that your soul will be mine
To play with while I wait for the time
OF ENDING We'll you'll all take a knee and bow
and the original Warmaster assumes the crown
You mortals ain't got shit on our daemon filled veins
Cause it's Last Man Standing is the name of the game

>>10124512
Yeah, you say this rap is high school
but that must put you somewhere in the middle.
Check it, even at your best
you'll still only be second fiddle.
The fiddle, that's an instrument.
Y'know, from back on Holy Terra?
Nevermind, it's above you;
in fact, it's a whole 'nother strata.
I'll make this long story short
for your tiny, little brain:
I recognize you're tryin'
but you ain't sayin' a thing!

>>10124602
UN-CHH...UN-CHH
UN-CHH CHH-CHHH-CHH-CHH

>>10124128
B'fore I tear up your shit, gonna get one thing clear
I ain't never been dead, No reaper been here
Came to undeath straight from life
And its time for me to give you some strife
Stop your rhymes with me sacrificial knife
To power some more artificial un-life

Sleeping in the open?
I wonder how you'll be coping
With the storms I can call
To hail all over y'all
While my minions clime from their grave-cribs
To split yo skull and open up them ribs
You might be able to handle a dozen of my zombie crew
But number Ninethousand and one gonna get you,
Coz you only have so many uses per day
And they'll keep on coming anyway

Motherfucker, you call me a lich?
Y'don know who you're dealin' with, do you bitch?
I'm the original ex-mortal that ain't ever been dead
A magician lyrical all up in your head

I'm castin' the rhyme
Flow that can stop time
And your disciplined soul
Is now my new goal
So step up and make your roll
Coz I'm casting on a 3+
On 4d6 with no miscast
Don't go making no fuss
I'll trap you in the past
Coz I'm a mage chronomagical
Necromancer fantastical
And a dancer something radical

Bring it sucker, I ain't never gonna die
Grim reaper don't got shit on me
If you come to my lair, I'll laugh and fly
Your little fists can't reach you see?
I'll give the command, with a wave of m'hand
Your skeleton will take my side
You'll make a rather messy cadaver
When your bones ain't on your inside.

Step the fuck down, ya robe wearin' non caster. You ain't got shit on me.

Yo fuckers look what we got left
This thread's almost dead
We got the king of rhymes,
Noise marine Ned.

We got some greasy fa/tg/uy
playin a blaster mage
Thinks he's shit cuz he rolls 20
But when I roll up all he can do is rage

We got an admech english teacher
criticizing our grammar.
But he don't know he just walked into a monster movie
Double feature
and I'm about to drop the hammer.

We got anon the nobody
thinkin he's an ace.
But he's a disgrace in this race
He thinks he in the lead
all he can do is chase.

We got Mr Ordo Dicksuckitus
Callin down exterminatus
Thinks jackin off to battle sisters
Will give him anything but blisters

And what happened to the Monk of Junk
Did he take his 9th grade finals
and found out he flunked?
Or did he break his Elvis Vinyls
Or is he jackin it to furry porn
Or did he get is anus torn?
Did he drown in our collective flow?
Did find the center of his tootsie pop?
The world may never know.

Yo it's been fun.
But i'm done.
I'm out.
Peace.

>>10124646

I don't need more than one rhyme to slaughter you fools
I was rockin' the beat while you were napping in school
Close your mouth wipe the drool from your chops
Or get popped and dropped in a burial plot
No time to raise the cops take me five seconds, tops

WAAAAAAAAAGHH!
WAAAGHH!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!
WAAAAGHH! WHAAAAAAAAAAGHH!
WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

>>10123615

'Ay yo motherfucker, you don't fuck with Ward yeah.
I'll spit them words that'll make ya butt sore yeah.
You should back down now, I fuckin' implore ya.
They call me Dora the Dwarf 'cause I'm a cave explorer.

>>10124739
Alright ned you've been a good protoge
but step down now daddy's gonna ruin their day
their week, their month, their year
I got giant speakers for weapons I know y'all can hear
Crank that bass, crank that trebble, shove it right in your ear
first come the Daemonettes, then Fulgrim's here
Wait for it, wait for it, you'll have your turn
set your face on fire to enjoy the burn
We'll get extreme in this bitch
and mountain dew doesn't cut it
try boiling blood instead
I'll guarantee that you'll love it
Now if any of you got a beet with me
I'd like you to meet my brother Ferrus Manus, tee-hee
Sorry he doesn't talk much these days since he lost his head
Maybe should have been the Iron Necks instead
but he's an example of what I'll do to you
with words with weapons with whatever I choose

Yo, Mechanicus Crunkium, lay me down a beat

Immortal Fucker?
I'll put yo punk ass down like a sucker
You'll be a real villain some day
Or that's what you say
But for now you're just the freak of the week
You're flow is just so weak it's unique
Listen to me speak

You're like the cobra commander
2 arms short of wielding the 2 hander
Your crusades are so fucking tedious
We just rock on up to watch some TACTICAL GENIUS
You sit you punk as down and take some heed
Coz after so long you can't beat Creed

This isn't anger, it's RIGHTEOUS ZEAL
Get on yo knees and kneel
Start to pray for me
To the only god, the big E
Coz when I die, fighting Mankind
I'll join my god and be joyous to find
That I can fight on, with the power of rhyme
To fuck your shit up, for all of time

Damn it feels good to be a Davion
A real Davion-ass general deploys his 'Mechs right
A real Davion-ass general never runs from fuckin' Dracs
Cuz real Davion-ass generals don't start fights
And Max Liao always gotta high cap
Showin' all his boys how he pogrommed 'em
But real Davion-ass generals don't kill civilians
Cuz real Davion-ass generals know they need 'em
And everything's cool in the mind of a Davion
Cuz Davion-ass generals think deep
Up three-sixty-five a year 24/7 TST
Cuz real Davion-ass generals don't sleep

And all I gotta say to you
Wannabe, gonna-be, frackencrakin', coolant-eatin' prankstas
'Cause when the Clans come down what the fuck you gonna do?
Damn it feels good to be a Davion.

ITT: Fat white guys trying to rap

>>10124739
Holy feth! About time!
Looks like you hit your stride.
Maybe in that geneseed hidden
you have that rhythm peptide.
See? All you really needed
Was an adversary;
Someone around to challenge
Your flow oh so dreary.
It's still pretty rocky
(go on, give me your flak)
Still, hope the Inquisitor is gone
because: Chaos? Respeck.

>>10124705

Oh well what have we here?
A shit necromancer thinking he's without peer?
A fleshy cultist turning his mouth in a sneer?
SPESS MURINE scratches head over a new gear?

Paladin here, original white knight
Since Charlamagne riding, giving darkness a fright
You're negative I'm positive I don't even switch settings
One cure wounds I ain't even fretting

Lets bring in the cleric and the favored soul
Three spearshafts pounding this sorry ass troll
Cutting him down like a crunchy spring roll

With the sword and the shield and the full plate
The axe, the spear, to us they're all great

Fighting hard, outdoing bards, watching fold wild cards.
Move over neckbeard, you sorry ass lard.

Now come on, before you're remains I discard.

>>10124840
Best in thread

You know, you guys don't have to keep using the AA:BB format...

This thread reads like a fucking Dr. Seuss book

>>10125093

Was actually thinking of experimenting in my next bit.

Listen up dawg, FUCK the mutant.
Do you bitches know me?
I'm fuckin important.
I'm a real life emprah
A man among teens
Get out of my way
or face my space marines

I got money and bitches
beyond the 'perium's vastness
I brought order to chaos,
I hate Orks for their crassness

Let's put it this way
My writing is sex
If you don't agree?
Then your army is next!

>>10125093
I was doing ABAB, thank you very much.

>>10125156
>>10125156

gtfo matt ward nobody likes you.

>>10124895
WHOO!

To the beat of Single by Lil Wayne...
NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER DICE ROLLS
NIGGER SHIT NIGGER NECKBEARDS
DAMN NIGGER NIGGER BASEMENT
NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER FAT ROLLS
NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER I'M BETTER AT RHYMING THAN A STRIPPER AT POLES.

They call me the Celtic Guardian
Stronger than titanium
Sharp as a comedian
here I am, sold out all the stadium
I'm not a lower class dueling monster where did you get that rediculus conseptiun?
Did the blue eyes white dragon tell you that?
Fuck the blue eyes white dragon.

... seriously.

>>10124972
Oh look, a white knight, par for the course
Thinking he's holy shit, coz he can ride on a horse
What happens when your smites find an unkillable force?
Fuck of Pelor, all the best gods are norse.

Don't bother with detect evil, I've put up a sign
"To all blackgaurds to be, apply within."
Your families bodies and souls, damn straight they're mine
And so will you be, when I bend you to sin

You think you'll step up and heal the damage I'll be throwin'
You'll be chunky salsa, before you be knowin'
Your spirit i'll raise and tortue 'til mah bone you be blowin'
You're all talk now, but I'm not telling I'm showin'.

You think your holy crew can compete with mine
Just because you cats be spittin' magic divine?
I'll indtoduce you to DJ Fel Knight
A sword and boarding nightmare who knows how to fight
He was put together just to extinguish you punkass light
From the bones of a paladin, a dead god and pure fright

Next is my steed, a reanimated dire shark
Flying with power unholy, powered by magics so dark
I got the idea from a Lich I once knew
My unaligned homie, His name is drew.

You think your holier-then-thou moves mean shit to me?
I'm using the bones of the earth like it's elementary
Get out of here punk, return when your older
A little the wiser, and a little the bolder
Then you might be something worth killing
When it's time for your blood spilling
I'll want to reanimate you to create an evil incarnate to eliminate all that is good in world
You'll be watching, helpless when my plan is unfurled
So enjoy a few more years of life while you can
Because once you die, then you'll be MY man

Fuck y'all I'm drunk. Lemme read the thread and I'll get right on this shit.

>>10125681
Yeah wrong picture. I don't give a SHIT

>>10125718
Awwwwwww, shit. Here he is. Brace for impact.

>>10125681

OH SHIT

>>10125681

Hear that?
That's the sound of troops running home
Fakers gonna get nothin', except what they've sown
SnB here now, be putting on a show
Rappin' low, slow, lyrics flowin' to and fro
I'll step back and give him the mic spot
Let's see all you liches hit him with your best shot

>>10125560
Bitch don't go unkillable
You're already dead

>>10125810

Mispost, shit keyboard.

Bitch don't say unkillable
You're already dead
Aint no battle unwinnable
With a strike to the head

Fighting hard, smashing bone
No wild card, no Greenhilt clone

Swords beat sorcerers
Blades beat bitches

Beats beat Blasphamy
Quitters so mad at me!

WAAAAGH! ALROIGHT YA HUMIES, IZ TIME TA GIT DOWN

Itz open mic at da board, I is arrivin late
but dat dont matter, cuz i gonna seal ur fate
wif dark clouds and shoutz, de earff will quake
da boyz iz back for a foight, d6s wif a template
I do dis all wif no magic, no weirdboyz or wizardz
gork an mork give me blessinz to reveal ur innerds
a rap foight at noight iznt fair shot for u guyz
cuz me rhymes glow in da dark, strike like a baneblade surprise
like flashlightz from guardsmen, I is subtle but lethal
I leave u worse off than a Matt Ward sequel
humies wif keyboards, only choice, bow down
Double O, Original Ork, only brand in town
sneak up from behind, Snikrot cause a spectacle
dont need afford Creed, got me own genius tactical
only orkz can be dis bling an strike, fade ta dust
reflect light into space, bend ur ass and thrust
so when u wave ur rhymes around and cower in fear
Remembuh da Orkz is da reason u're here

Reading this thread got me rolling fort, reflex, and will,
Barely made the save on this toxic lyrical spill,
Your flow's beyond ill, it's straight contagious,
Outrageous, hellacious, but I'll be courageous,
You ain't prepared to face this; I'm ostentatious,
I got the drink in my hand, ready to get loquacious,
bodacious flow, spit from the mouth of Mimir;
Ready to rock this shit? y'all better simmer--
and comparatively, I make y'all look dimmer,
and Zimmer's got nothin' on the beats I produce
Sword n' Board in the house, laying down the abuse.

>>10125810
This necromancer ain't ever been dead
I might not be living, I'm something else instead
I'm the original ex-mortal walking
Before the vampires ever be stalking
Before Liches be reading their tomes
Or fel knights be burning down homes
I'm not just a necromancer
I'm lethal like cancer
The original MC Necromaster in the crypt
I'm as sorcerous as SwordnBoard is ripped
Step the fuck down and leave the posts for the lyricists
If you step on up, I hope you got spell resists.

>>10125858
Swords beat sorcerers?
I not-so-kindly disagree.
But it's cool! I've spotted
Your flaw du philosophy:
You've been buffin' that brawn
Leavin' yo mind to atrophy.
It's my guess that's why
you rhyme monosyllabically.

>>10126064
...I'm out.

>>10126064
I'm out

>>10126108
>>10126146

Beatin Twipires ain't no big win
Slicing you up and all your sorry kin

I ain't no dumb barbarian I got my church texts
I got my big blade watching you lurch back
Trying to beat my blessings with, sorry ass hex
Protector of the land, ready to attack

Keep going and get ready to clap
When I unleash more of my paladin rap

>>10126179
>>10126224
imoutmind

I had no idea /tg/ was this white. I mean sure, traditional games, but... Shit.

>>10126064

SnB, pressing the button.

Once again, Choppa an Wedge, slingin rhymes and slices of lime, inhis rap tonic so hypnotic, u dink u was smokin laced chronic, dont matter if ur weaponz is pretty or ur spellz catastrophic

Devastatin humie skeles wif a sharp edge an some wood, u knew he could, liches be bitches complain "Your saves are no good!", empty words dat fall on deaf ears, cuz choppa-wedge is done wif dredge an only foights non-queers

We aint no friendz but we both recognize
when sucka DJs who could nevuh touch da skies
come frontin with empty clips and rusty beak
on der power armor left over from crusades bleak
best step back and bask, in da sparks and colors hue
of SnB and Waaaaghmillionaire, combining to end you

but I gotz a real sneaky surprise for u all
a final technique not even Kubo could draw
itz the end of this mask, I confess itz a lie
Waaaaaghmillionaire ain't a real orky guy
dere's a humie in here, he's roight propa clever
get ready to meet him, he just pulled the lever

Step back you fools, this masquerade is over...

>>10126445

AND MEET AL'SHAM WYLES, RHYMES WITH STYLES, AS IN YOUR MAD AND I'M GLAD THAT I'M ALL PROFILES

I wore the orky mask for a while
It really was a fun distraction
But all I wanna do is beguile
Feel your bitch stroke my erection

Al'Sham of many lands, most spells that confuse
I'll leave you naked in Harlem, a slave to Grues
Turned inside out and purple, found lost, battered at sea
Side effects of homes wrecked and dreams scattered with glee
The merciless magician who has nothing up his sleeve
Except 50 wands of color spray and blinding color surge
I roll Will saves just to quiet the urge
To turn Gotham and Metropolis into stunned, slowed masses
Make Greyhawk and Faerun start paying me taxes
I'll trick the people of Athas into thinking it's December
Make Kwame Kilpatrick look like a rank amateur

So get your Cloak of Resistance, save the game, cancel dinner
Al'Sham the final boss, finally here, the clear winner

This warrior don't care if you got spells to shoot,
I'll run up on a nigga cuz he's wearing my loot,
and my pursuit of the dollar don't make me miser,
calculating my net worth requires zero as a divisor.
And my incisors is gold plated, platinum clad biscuspid,
show me your BBEG nigga, I'll have him maladjusted,
I'm the new hotness, your shit's old and busted.
And an alliance trusted with Al'Sham, better believe...
to face all challengers, I'm ready to cleave...

>>10126179
>>10126224

...get your asses back in here, who said you could leave?

Oh shit, guess who's here?
Sarghress clan bitches, shed a tear.

Think you're special, think you got a crit?
Step the fuck back and those teeth grit!

No specials, all uniform.
Killing more humans than chloroform.

Ain't nobody special, ain't nobody shiny
Say any different and shut up whiny

Drow army, here and crass
Get to the side, or we kick your ass

>>10126239
Ain't you be listening?
I'm not vampy all glistening
I'm something older and stronger
If I was you I would run
So you can live a little longer
Before I have my fun

You put faith in your bible
That sets out to libel
those off your mortal coil
But I'll make your blood boil
As forever you toil
With a wave of my hand
Your corpse I will command
It'll wonder the land
Zombie roadie for my band

You're claiming your smart but you're still here
You'd be gone if you were smart enough to feel fear
Rather then heading towards your doom so near
Think for yourself, your gods won't help you now
Unless some cowardice they see fit do endow
Step the fuck down, run back to town
Coz MC Necromaster is done fuckin' around.

>>10126495
>>10126445
WAIT... WHAT!?

>>10126445
>>10126495
Noooooooo, how could this happen!?

>>10126239
By the Golden Throne!
It's truly not that difficult!
This rhythm you're weavin
is a clear aural insult.
I know it appears my vox's
just stuck on repeat,
but I'm completely baffled
why most you can't keep a beat.
Kindly observe my elucidation
(a little simple wisdom
from the cyborgian martian):
Unless you're SnB
(because dolts don't grasp they're dolts)
Count it out on your fingers
before your audience bolts.
Say that shit out loud!
Literally check that flow!
It was just painful to read;
I said I'll go now I go.

01001001.00100000.01100110.01100101.01110100.01101000.01101001.01101110.01100111.00100000.01101000.0
1100001.01110100.01100101.00100000.01111001.01101111.01110101.00100000.01100001.01101100.01101100.

>>10126593

Bitch I acknowledged don't misquote
I'll always be here, fighting with hope

Bible and Libel, try to sound that out, you're rhymes are lame we're game
You better not dribble, stop chewing sour kraut, holy with rising fame
Sings the bards, we hold the cards.

Fear, pfft, read the players handbook.
I'm here, no tears, holy symbol and you cook.
I ain't easy to scare, I'm never gonna whine
It just takes one prayer, just a little time

How quaint, how sad
Don't fain't, sorry bitch
That's too bad.

>>10126529
HOLY FUCKING SHIT, DO MINE EYES DECIEVE ME?
THE PATRON SAINT OF RAP COMETH, BEHOLD /tg/!
AFTER EONS OF MEDIOCRITY, AND RHYMES THAT ARE WHACK-
THE GODDAMN SNB IS HERE TO SPIT A BRAND NEW TRACK.
I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT; JUST WANTED TO LET Y'ALL KNOW IN ADVANCE.
THE CHOSEN ONE IS BACK; AND I JUST JIZZED MY PANTS.

>>10126567

Oh look, a worshipper of LOLth, clearly in the wrong place
You're at a rap battle son, the S&M group is over 2 states
Keep the whips in the closet, teach your kids to read
You niggas are as attractive as a gnoll drag queen
The INT score is the road to success in this fight
Not even my magic can bring you to the light
Get off your drider welfare and start paying for your goods
Quit stealing from human farmers and those elves in the woods
Your quarantined in the Underdark for a very good reason
And there's nothing more fun than Drow hunting season
It's because R.A. Salvatore couldn't climb the writer's hill
For such ugly fetish losers to be less fun to kill
Your CR is a lie, more like a Cool Reward score
As in how much the bitches love you when you murder a Drow whore

So go rhyme with the mind flayers and your glowing myconids
This is a battle for big boys, not nerf guns attached to kids.

well'p too bad I've got no rhym'in in me,
Things are just getting heated up here? I'll just have to see.

>>10126658
>>10126683

Yes, it's true folks, the Ork was a lie
The cake's in the fake, at least it was fun for this guy
I'm the Beguiler for STORYTIEM, the epic D&D game you've read
I spin tall tales and lies, disguise, silently put the guards to bed

We gotta necromancer let me show you a wizard
freezin all your shit with a spell called blizzard.
Swingin a sword? might as well be a pillow
You ain't got no chance. Sit and watch my robes billow.

Up close and messy? Got no time for that shit.
I'm still far away when your gonna get hit.
Arcane power flowin through my hands
Sit your as down. Go back to your lands.

Using your

>>10126733

Ok let me tension diffuse
I think you got your settings confused

I ain't no FR
Not that whack
Got no CR
I give nerds a heart attack

You think you're big with HUMANITY, FUCK YES
But when I get in your town, you can't even guess

Smashing your cities
Raidinig your farms
Hitting some critties
Causing you harms

Don't hate me hate your game
While you're rollin d20's I'm gettin fame.

Sitting here and all I'm see'in is a load of nothing coming,
Might as well bump in case someone creates something

>>10126043
>>10126445
>>10126495
>>10126733

The whims of fate demand a fight
40 foot ceiling prevents flight
Invisibility on, time to spread the blight
Fast hands like nomads
Rhymes beautiful like dryads
Like the way they feel my gonads

Fighting soldiers weary and paladins brave?
Disguise as a maiden, see 'em at their grave
All's fair in love and war, do what it takes to win
Elegantly if possible, settle for knives to the chin
Low STR? Not a problem, just sling those spells
Silent Spell, a poker star, don't send any tells
Make fun with weak puns, tell other emcees how to do it
Don't notice the kobold is a level 20 druid
Paid off by sneaky hands in dark places
Intelligence headband, many faces
Just some ways to describe, the height of the land
This beguiler most deft, skilled in sleights of hand

One thing's for sure, y'all are the masters
If I were to imitate it'd just be disasters
I'd get stung like bees from a hive
But we need to get this in the archive.

Keep it flowing, keep it flowin

Don't get complacent while I'm building momentum,
I'll drop lyrical bombs plated with aurum, argentum,
And while y'all poppin' centrum, hoping yo' senses get heightened,
take a word from the wise, cuz' I be enlightened.
While my enemies be frightened, even in the Far Realm;
Yo' damage is nonlethal, like casting mass whelm.
And when our helms connect, I will impart my knowledge,
I ain't taking you to school nigga, I'm taking you to college.

>>10126889
Remove those glasses you chaotic cunt, you are unworthy to taint it with your evil so sour-
What the fuck would you little niggers know about FIGHTING THE POWER.
Trapped underground, forever destined to take it in the butt-
I'm about to show you tranny bastards why berzerk rhymes earned me the nickname GUTTS.
My dick will blow through the heavens like an explosion atomic-
Get your baby raping ass back in your shitty webcomic.

>>10126889

Pretty uppity for a Drow male, who are you, Drizzt?
Oh wait, just another neckbeard, never been kissed
Whether its Waterdeep or Kobold Keep
The slums of Philly or Wall Street
I'll Halt your advance during YOUR round,
Spend your turn getting burned
Hold Person in your groove
Your rhymes fully spurrned
Our army on the move
And you left clueless, like a homeless clown

>>10126889

Lady you ain't nothing but a bad mary sue
Stomping an armed city with you're merry crew
Acting like you're hot shit with your purple hair
Thinking I should have a reason to fucking care

Lemme tell you just why can't fucking beat me
Your enemies failed the storm trooper academy

Sitting there making one sword swing, bows at the back, waiting for you to attack.
Were here, aiming and letting our rifles crack.

Handed everything like a god damned Na'vi
Made by neckbeards and hambeasts dear me!
We're here waving middle fingers, so free
So get back underground, that big kitchen bitch, where you gotta be!

Alright, enough is enough, I'm calling you all out,
You may try to act tough but you're more of a lout,
so listen to these rhymes I spout,
and put your guards on the look out,
cause I'ma bout to make you pout, and throw your whole cause in doubt.

You think it's already been pretty rough, and you're thinking maybe the rest is just a bluff,
but hang on..
let me assure you of my stuff,

one, two, gotta get my time,
prepare myself to throw down another line,
see you thought I'd say rhyme..but that'd be a crime!
since the lyrical twist isn't unique,
which would cause my mind to straight up freak, cause I'm a master of the written sign,
and although now and then I get weak and lose my next design,
I jump right back with another beat, and make it out just fine.

Al'Sham, tearing it up, stealin' that Drow thunder,
Put two lands on the top, just got hit by Plow Under.
He'll sunder defenses, you mad cuz he's stylin;
Best remember I'm the DM, and he just Beguilin',

sPiiiiiiiiiin that shit niggaaaaaaaaaaa!

I got more cantrips than Jace or Elspeth
More protections than angels, your hand empty, spells spent

Cause I countered your shit the turn before you cast
Sent Time Warp to the yard, hit your Bloodbraid Elf with Bituminous Blast
I draft blue first pick, nigga so what? I make it work
If you haven't seen, I can really lay down the hurt
It's not whether you play enough lands or the right creature
It's whether you top deck the right instants to make a wizards.com feature

Play whatever game you want, I probably wrote the rulebook
When you're fucking sneaky like dis git, judges know where to look

>>10127316
GLORIOUS

>>10126064

Your shit's so old.
It's rusting.
My rhymes is ill. Yours?
Disgusting.
With a name like sword's
I believed.
I was doomed, but now?
I'm relieved.

Ma-t-t, War + D
Packin wallops.
My stat line's got more 10s
Than a cheap hoe's wallet.

So reply back.
If you will it.
Throw down your rhyme
and I'll kill it.

Peace.

'

Watching the clock spin faster I see impending disaster because the rap thread caught my attention.
Like pillars of alabaster and the eyes of a kalashtar theres a shine like the planes are in contention.
From the Elemental chaos to the Astral sea , I sail on my Jammer, The Introspection in glee.
For the metaphoric nature of the 7 peaks down to the darkest abyssal cavern where noone speaks.
I fear I may have used all my time
for I am failing to bust a rhyme

>>10127349

O SHIT DIS NIGGA RITE HURR

>>10126693
It might be the accent difference, but they rhyme to me. Anyways, this shit be on.

Hope is all in your head, you might as well be dead
Because you're talking to the original font of all dread You can't hope to compete
You're just a puppet of meat
With a soul holy and sweet

You're a one system fool
Lining up to be my new tool
If you think that I'm in your handbook
Or the monster manual
I'm something unique
Some might call me a freak
But they no longer can speak

If fear don't work, I'll just have to deal with you now
Waste you today, tomorrow your mother I'll plow
Coz all you have is 2 bit rhymes
Lining up agiast the lyricist of the end times
I'm getting a little bored with the repeat drama
Why is it always knights in shining armour
It won't protect you from my lightning bolt
Or when I make your own flesh revolt
And your sword and smite
And your holy light
Won't help when you can't see me
I have invisibility
As an at will ability
I'm etheral, I flow like my rap
All around you, as your soul I sap
And you're stuck in my unliving trap
I'll suck your soul dry as lyrics
Using arcane tricks
Your mind I will empty of ethics
So when you're once again wielding your epics
This time it's in the service of your lord and Master
We all know who I mean, the ultimate caster
Beyond class, and too powerful to stat
with the Illest rhymes and the beats too phat.

>>10127316

While SnB and Matt Ward get in a joust
Let's find out which of us is more like Marcel Proust

Do your rhymes hang low, do they swagger, rock and glow?
Do they reach sky high, do the dishes, the lawn mow?
Do they turn orcs to chickens, do they repair objects?
Do they steal rhyme schemes, oh come now, dont protest!

You know Mr. Neckbeard, degree in phi-la-so-phie, spoutin a decree, all ideas are derivative, everything should be free? I guess if monuments and words are alike, its that its hard to move them, but they can be moved for the right price.

DIZ IZ TEN PERZENT; DAKKA
TWENNY PERZENT; ROKS
FORTY PERZENT; KNOWIN' 'OW TO STOMP ON YER GROTZ
LOTZ MORE PERZENT; DAKKA
FIFTY PERZENT; WAAAAAG

AN WUN HUNNED PERZENT; GHAZGHKULL MAG URUK THRAKA

>>10127436

Unique you say when you re enter the fray?
I reply stop right there some thing isn't right today

You say special I say sue
When the crowd cheers for me
All you hear is "boo!"
Open your dead eyes can't you see
Ima snap your placantary

Don't pretend to be adequate
Watch my symbols activate
You're sitting there's ageitated
Knowing you're just hated

Thinking your shit Rhymes have a beat
I'm the one lauded on every street!

>>10127349

MC Ward riding out to challenge my siege,
have you accepted Guilliman as your spiritual liege?
I'll relieve your command and begin your displacement,
you still painting ultrasmurfs in your mama's basement?

And while you roll out with your Astartes Adeptus,
it don't even classify as Homo Erectus,
a prospectus constructed from inferior seed,
when my dice rolls explode, all your spess mehreens bleed.
And even Creed won't save you from this genius tactical,
stuff your fluff codexes and miniatures, that shit's plain impractical.

Oh, god, that made me laugh so hard since I know exactly what song it's parodying.

>>10127512

Fucking hell, an ork chief, I did that ruse
I best use long sentence styles to confuse

'sup GHAZGHKULL, caps lock on I see
Calling to brace for impact, hold on, I gotta pee
Ahhh there we are, glorious piss at last
Kinda like if your rhymes were distilled in a glass
Your came a long way from Armageddon
To see the rhymescape and try choppa style beheadin'
I know orks are fierce, I don't underestimate
I just roll d100 to see where you move, where you face
Confusion is a great spell, much better than 'Ere We Go
Except I guess if your goal is to get soft, like tofu mapo
100 Orks or a 1,000, you can't even roll crits
Color Spray is low level, duration infinite for you Brits

Now this is a thread I can get into;
Unfortunately, I've got to hit the 'loo.
I'll be back in a few,
so keep the rapping strong and true.

>>10127687
>Sparrow Clan

MOTHERFUCKING SPARROWS

GET AWAY, BEFORE WE DIE OF OLD AGE.

>>10127687

Oh hell yeah, the Sparrow Clan, I know you guys
Rocking Diplomacy mods and two toe shoes in disguise
Come to the fight when you're ready, rhymes outta da vault
I'll take your pitches, plow your bitches, tell the Daimyo it was your fault

>>10127590
>>10127590
We're not worthy, we're not worthy!

>>10126529
Hey, my man, the Board with the sword,
why is /tg/ better than all the other boards?

>>10127736
You best get to steppin' if you don't want to get plowed,
Sparrow Clan in this thread, and we're motherfucking proud.
Honorable poverty and a life of duty,
Our lives are filled with blessed harmony.
Go ahead, take your best shot,
I guarantee you, you ain't nearly as hot.
Your honor's in the gutter, your glory's below zero,
I'm the Sparrow Clan's Rappin' Bushi and this story's hero!

THIS IS YOUR MC GOLDEN BOY, COMING FROM THE GOLDEN THRONE!

Horus is filled porus holes of chaos souls, eating away every day at my people who are the steeple of pure and true, I'm striking through my Guilliman the blue in the hearts of those that disbelieve you and my cause because they don't believe in santa emperor-Klaus.

You think your chaos magics gonna protect you from my fucking hat tricks? You pathetic little insect, you know nothing of power or intellect. I'm older than those wicked eldar bitches, who are nothing but cheap whores and witches. Lead by pedophile, damn dog, you ever heard of a fucking FBI file?! Adeptus Astartes gonna rape your face more than you catching your dick climbing a gate, over my imperial magistrate!

>>10127866

Stare into my eyes, don't blink or turn around
Cause I just summoned a Rust Monster and he's turning your sword brown
Or at least it looks like it, how the fuck would you know
Your SR is in the negatives, your bushido lacking flow
Bushi, more like Bishi, cute and poor
Sushi and rice balls are all your sword is good for
Call out the master, get stomp, what'd you expect?
Send the Diplomancer in, at least he showed some respect

>>10127834

Because what passes for original content on other boards is confined to re-edits of a picture or changing the words in a copypasta story.

Original content on /tg/ is real original content, and everyone makes it fucking awesome.

>>10127922

Hey you with the golden tits, haven't I seen you before
Oh yeah, thats right, your the dead guy whose on the floor
and you'd better get back there if you know what for
cause you ain't nothin but an asshole begging for more

and don't think that not spiritual liege will come to save
cause he's busy with Matt ward and he calls him Dave.

>>10127933
I don't need a sword to beat you, fool;
A little ol' rust monster ain't gonna make me lose my cool.
A sword ain't nothin' but a tool,
And besides, it ain't no help in a rappin' duel.

Besides, I don't need nothin' but my voice and a beat,
By the time I'm through, you'll be nothin' but mindless meat.
Go ahead and bring your shadow magics to bear,
Sparrow's don't care about even or fair.
We'll keep rappin' along with our honor intact,
While your soul gets torn up, gets diced up, gets racked!

Is that all you got, my friend?
Or are you gonna stop playin' pretend?

ARCHIVE THIS!!!

>This entire thread

>>10127950
Respect.

>>10128072

I ain't no blood mage, my magics don't defile the land
Cost me nothing to trap you in a sack bound for Iran
My soul is intact, no piece to the shadow
No contracts with demons that turn the earth fallow
Just a spell slot to pick locks and make folks into pies
So grab your hose and naginata, keep your men on the prize
The only pretending going on in this duel
Is me caring whether or not you look like a fool

I wish I could rap, this thread is like getting touched by divine creativity.

>>10124502
>>10124068
I bet the AdMech have some awesome beat boxers.

>>10128233
Thats when the Tech Priest steps forward with a servitor on each side of him and break it down. No human legs? No fucking problem, in fact, thats how the fun begins.

>>10128179
Your magic's a crutch, a fickle tool;
Who's worse, you or I, the Bushi or the fool?
At the end of the day, you're shit out of luck,
While I don't need any magic, no arcane muck.
Keep on talkin', it ain't nothin' but sass;
Without your magics, you ain't nothin' but a Unicorn's ass.

>>10128233
All 8-bit and shit.

>>10128314

>Implying that when the battle is won and records be kept
I would still need any spells, as if I didn't plot every step
My methodology is precise like the edge of your sword
When it isn't purple and talking to you in Boar
Your whatever defenses are simply crude and rude
Put your guns on kid, I'll be back, just grabbing some food

>>10128179
>>10128314
>>10128425
On the contrary, my fine fellow; misguided are your raps.
Anything is possible with imagination, creativity; and rest assured your fantasy is safely under wraps.
Between a mysterious master of cunning deceit and a very stunning warrior who owns a silver tounge of tricks.
My mind can't help but wander and get lost dreaming of things unknown, BIG, and THICK.
In case you've not been attentive during your proud ego inflating-
There's more to pretend than just rhymes, so let's stop debating.
I'm very accomdating, we can all reach a happy conclusion-
Just close your eyes and drop your pants, no need for confusion.

>>10127590

"In my mom's basement"
This nigga says "PLEASE"
Do YOU fuckin know me?
I'm head fuckin' cheese.

I scratch my balls with gold forks.
You scratchin' fleas.
Fuckin' jeez.
Call them smurfs again I'll burn you for heresies.

You spit lies
More than you spit cum.
What a surprise
The best part of you ran down
Your mama's thigh's

I exhort
The truth.
You contort.
What's that?
No retort?
OH SHIT
ABORT!
ABORT!

If you can't handle
where this dev delves.
Then grow pointy ears
and hang out with some space elves.

>>10128636

Derp. Forgot my name.

>>10128296
>>10128233
Didn't someone here once think up of the technopriests which was just Daft Punk in a warlord titan with giant speakers attached to it?

bumpan for /tg/ rap battles

I salute all of you, brave, brave souls.

>>10128831

/salute

Man this is tight wish I could stick around
Watch Sword n' Board flow, retake some ground
But it's late here and I got to get some sleep
If this doesn't get archived then surely I'll weep

moar Matt Ward and Sword 'n Board battlan.

>>10128609

Ouch, that hurt, need some ointment for these burns
Psyke! Just kidding, by the way, turned your horse into ferns
Evocate at this rate, watch spectators head spin
Defenestrate all your hate, send your tea set to Winterhaven
Typical of samurai, offer to suck a man's cock
Bushido tales filled with whales sword-fighting up and down the block
A master stroke with every component, my rhymes are metamagic
4 levels above you, perk your ears, try to catch it

>>10128609

I Spelljam like Rock Band, every verse is a solo
Sigil is in the know, casting level 64 BOLO
With ease and cream cheese my rhymes are criminal
Like a bagel without salmon, you're far from subliminal
The feast of a kingdom I prepared on a dare
Spiced the food with Kerrathil, fuck every bitch in town square
Masterful tricks like huge gricks, unprepared but lethal
Conquer some other clan's land, this ain't a Dune prequel

Two attacks a round, I think this battle is won
Unless our Sparrow friend is loading a gun
Impersonate a Fighter, level 6, be proud
Pulled the shield over your eyes, turned your words POOF! - into a cloud

>>10128636

The dev returns with a one-two punch,
sniping potshots while I was out to lunch,
and if gluttony is heretical, a mortal sin;
I'll make an exception for you, 'cuz you're wafer thin.
And to much chagrin, you're still outspoken,
my lyrics decimate morale, what's that--SQUAD BROKEN!

I'll you dead choking, you don't represent Terra's hood.
even the Tau worship my image as the greatest good,
and I've stood before champions, you don't even rank;
exterminatus is coming once I'm in your flank.
Your blank stare will usher in a fate most cruel,
when I grill up your ass and feed it to Gabe Newell.

MC Therion, Magus of Ceremonies
I invoke Hastur, revoke phony
mascara wearing faggot emcees
who try to test me with blasphemous sorcery.
So you're rolling pentagonal trapezohedron
Well it's Gehenna mo'fucker and I'm an antedelluvian
This ain't world of darkness, it's call of cthulhu
Harlot drop you in a box when Nyarla's done with you
Azathoth, shoggoth, shub-niggurath
I stack rappers by the abyss and I'm kicking 'em off
Sysyphyx is sucking me off, I ride a byahkee
I heard you was a furry, teen werewolf with scurvy
basement dwellin trap fapper making your moms worry
Are you deaf son, can't you hear my fans?
They're in black robes chantin'
IA IA CTHULHU FTGAHN

I get this all set to go to be archived and now it flatlines. LIVE GODDAMMIT!!

>>10129276

Nigga's show no love, spoutin the unclean one's word
You can type all dyslexic but its clear, you just absurd
That nigga Kalarel thought aberrants were cool too
He called for help, the farm bought, turned into human stew
His rhymes were alright, his form was all lock step
But your swagger is crooked, Old Ones unfit to rep
Leave the sorcery to professionals with +1 Masterwork tools
Leave the eye of newt at home, quit taking notes from Blues Clues

A rap battle? Fuck.

Yo, yo, You whore-sons better step back
Your rhymes are weak and your flow is whack
Better hit the scrolls and learn how to act
Because now The Adventurer is on the attack
Traveling town to town with rhymes in my pack
Leaving sucker MC's no chance to react
They never see it coming and that's a fact
Because my lyrical longsword is loaded with stats
The rapping game requires knowledge and knack
Those are scores of which you all seem to lack
It's your entire verse, bitches, that I slash and hack
While I watch the platinum pieces pile up in stacks

>>10129445

Alright, fresh blood, swing your sword
Talk a little louder or I'mma get bored
We've had plenty of fighters today
Their rhymes deflated, causing no sway
I welcome all challengers to the grand combat
At least 'till the bell rings and I'm on the attack
Make sure pack is full with delicious food canned
I'm gonna cast all my spells and your supplies be damned.
Tell 'em Al'Sham said sure, he'll be happy to babysit
As long as my murder charge is guaranteed to acquit

>>10129036
>>10129154
Silly mister Wyles, no samurai am I.
But sam I am and green eggs plus ham, Doc Suess made my rhymes fly.
I seek no violence nor feelings getting hurt.
But I'm always down with getting rough or else I wouldn't flirt.
I've travelled to this thread for one simple reason.
The penultimate perversity achieved is a thought most pleasing.
Rappers and M.C.'s are so closely related; most equate skill in lyrics to the size of their dong.
/tg/'s the home and kingdom of the greatest; every man that can spit rap here has got a dick the size of king kong.

>>10129539

Words of harmony ring clear, alright I can dig
But forgive me if I don't just politely sing
You see, every fight is just a chance to level up for me
So one day I may do battle with DJ Phylactery

>>10129523
You're on the attack? Man, you ain't on shit
Beat my initiative and you just might hit
Roll less than a 20 and the only thing you get
is a full round attack from the The Adventurers dick

Bitch.

Alright /tg/, this is it, I gotta bounce
My giant bed is calling me, with my lady, every ounce
Of delicious comfort savored after a battle most fierce
Earned via dickery, in a style like a Brosnan named Pierce
I gotta get up early tomororw, head off to farmer's market
I'll check the thread later on, peace out, don't forget it

Because the samurai was right, one truth always stands
We the rappers of /tg/ all have the greatest fans

>>10129633

As for you Adventurer, I promise to continue this brawl
Within /tg/'s sacred palace, it's glorious Rap Hall
But another date it will be, as decreed from my steed
I now ride dreams into flowers, and that's not the weed

>>10129225

Dohoho, I'm sorry you've got--
me giggling.
I can't help but laugh with the shit--
you're dribbling.
I made my saves--
Your swings were lacking
Listen close. now I'm--
attacking.I give 'nids their claws.
I make Orks green.

1+ for the hit
2+ for the show
3+ to wound
4+ Every roll.

Just face it, brody.
You can't stop my lit
I'm the alpha and omega
of this Warhammer shit.
You like tau?
Ha I INVENTED the Tri-Clit.

well I'm still here.
and I'm still drunk.

>>10129736

Dohoho, I'm sorry you've got--
me giggling.
I can't help but laugh with the shit--
you're dribbling.
I made my saves--
Your swings were lacking
Listen close. now I'm--
attacking.

1+ for the hit
2+ for the show
3+ to wound
4+ Every roll.

Just face it, brody.
You can't stop my lit
I'm the alpha and omega
of this Warhammer shit.
You like tau?
Ha I INVENTED the Tri-Clit.

BAD KEYBOARD NO!

>>10129733
I respect the competition and I'll give you dap
You stood up and you showed /tg/ how to rap
I'll see you in the next thread because this one will cap
Because the sucker MC's never take naps.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OlZaeZlsFQ

Some backdrop for all a yo.

THIS THREAD IS AWESOME!

This has been good so far,
lawful warriors of this land.
But you are late for some smithing
and you need to keep worshiping
Lawful Good with good rhymes
paladins are small time
Listen kids, you are okay,
for a starter campaign
But when it's time to go epic
only works being angelic.

Praise.

I'm actually amazed that Matt Ward knows how to write something that isn't completely terrible.

>>10129923
Wait, wait, hold up, your flow is rougher
Than the freaky sex that I had with your mother
Angels should make rhymes as smooth as butter
You must be a shapeshifter because of that stutter

>>10129736

Nigga you laughing, but I don't find it funny;
You rollin' dee-sixes? Bitch, I throw dee-twenties.
The honeys agree, my stats stack higher,
and being the GW GM don't mean you ain't a liar.
I tire of your efforts, you ain't the last striker,
when a twelfth level caster beats an alpha class psyker.
And yo' mary sue marines all in that power armor,
would get their asses stomped by a warforged farmer.
Good thing our universes will never cross,
I'd lead the orks to Terra as the mightiest warboss.

While playing god in the grimdark is what you intended,
the plot hasn't advanced since that shit was invented,
and the retcons have made warhammer shit-scented,
so your demise can't be prevented,
and you won't be lamented,
just resented and demented until I leave you segmented.

>>10130267

Ugh so sleepy. You win good sir. It was a pleasure doing business with you.

May we engage in many more rap battles in the future that don't involve me rapping from Matt Ward's perspective.

>>10130494
Good round man, I'm too drunk to sleep right now.

>>10130494
fffffffff matt ward is probably a bad thing to rap as go with like caiphas cain or something

I don't know shit about warhammer.

>>10130494

no really I got nothing but love for all /tg/ rappers. I talk shit but seriously that's what it's all about, y'all came and performed. pat yourselves on the fucking back hell yeah

>>10130658

Hell yeah bro. Nothing but love over here.

Take care, baby!