Find another group.

Hey, instead of talking to us, talk to your DM. Tell him to stop bringing all the excess gay to that table.

>>10578551

stuff it into the DMPC

Have a talk with your DM. Seriously.

You appear to be living in the land of tiresome stereotypes. There is nothing we can do.

Talk.

>a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal dicks

>opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal dicks everywhere once opened.

"Dicks! Dicks EVERWHERE!".jpg

Tell the GM that his campaign is overly sexual in nature and you find that distracting and creepy.

Be gayer than he is. Just take everything to the absolute gayest level, far more than even he can stand.

If he complains (he undoubtedly will), tell him he's a sweetheart and that he's fabulous.

Sounds like he's trolling.

Or you are.

>>10578607
Post the actual image, you fucktard.

>>10578607
Here you go

>>10578616
>implying he has it

>>10578573
This would be good. Tell him that while you are okay with his being gay, he really needs to tone it down.

take away the dms copy of the boef

>>10578613
>sweetheart
>fabulous

I lol'd

"DM... you know how you can be black without being a "nigger", or white without being "trailertrash redneck", or jewish without being "jew"... and how one can be the latters without even being the formers? No one has any issue with you being gay... but gay guys actually have balls regarding their orientation, so grow a pair and stop being such a faggot"

this sounds like the most awesome campaign ever. you should take your DM to the local gay bar to celebrate and wingfag him a fireman or something.

if it bothers you that much then just reroll a changeling. they can't really be bi, homo, or hetero, as they're born androgynous, don't manifest gender traits in their personalities until (what would be for normal races) puberty, and their sexuality is mutable to the identities they assume.

you could shape change into whatever made you most comfortable in any given situation, probably just the grey neuter you born as so you dont have to cross swords in the mens room every time the DM decides nature calls your character.

>>10578551
"Dude. We get your gay and there's nothing wrong with that. But we don't appreciate the whole DICKS EVERYWHERE thing."

There comes a point where one becomes so as unto Cho Aniki that they've left their preference for men far behind, and turned into eldritch abominations.

That, is your DM.

>>10578551
Slap him for being a faggot. Explicitly tell him to stop being a fag, and start being gay.
Fags shove their sexuality down everyone's throat, like what your DM is doing.
Fags identify their entire person by who they stick their dick into. Like what your DM is doing.
Fags seem to think that if they fuck men, that makes them unique and special.

Gay men don't care about shoving sexuality to other people. They don't identify themselves with who they plunge their quivering manhammer inside. Gay men think that, like heterosexual men, who you fuck does not make you unique and special.

Alternatively, do what he's doing, right back to him, in a heterosexual manner.
"I'M SEARCHING FOR WOMEN TO GET LAID"
"I RAPE THE ELVEN QUEEN"
"I RAPE THE SUCCUBUS."
Repeat until he tells you that you're shoving your sexuality down his throat, then inform him that he is the black kettle calling the pot black.

>>10578719
So play Rance?

I can do that.

>>10578665
>but gay guys actually have balls regarding their orientation

I see what you did there

>>10578551
So, our DM is a furry. Literally. We'd found out he was a furry not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either yiffing or Mary Sues, and are always hitting on the player characters. And the influx of furry themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to hairy nude wolves or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal wolfcocks everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a cudgel shaped like wolfcock?

>>10578741
I actually may be playing a Rance in a 3.5 game soon. CG Paladin. Shit will be awesome.

>>10578719
Or you could not be a complete asshole and talk to your GM about like a fucking adult.

Doing what your saying will only escalate the situation and turn it into something unnecessarily dramatic.

So, your DM is a bear. Literally. We'd found out he was a kodiak or grizzly not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now.. things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either bears or fish, and are always hitting beehives for honey. And the influx of bear themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to hairy nude bears or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal salmon everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, I am a bear.

Why can't /tg/ talk with problem people? Are we all really THAT pathetic?

Delicious copy pasta is delicious. Mild disappointment that OP is a fabrication.

>>10578819
masculinity should be humanity.

>>10578868
...I think you're fine actually.

>>10578868
I wish I was a bear too. :(

>>10578932

You are.

>>10578551

Oh look, it's New Crush Syndrome. Your DM is just now in the honeymoon period where he's out, so he's gonna crank the gay up to 100. It's like the person that finds religion, or the moony asshole that just hooked up with a new girlfriend. Your options are to tolerate a hopefully brief period of a Rogers & Hammerstein musical about raping Liza Minnelli and color coordinating living room accessories, or point out his stupid shit (and that his shit is stupid because it's obsessive, not because it's gay) and convince him to revert to normalcy.

>>10578868
And the Number One on tonight's ThreatDown is...

>>10578819
So, our DM is a weaboo. Literally. We'd found out he was a weaboo not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either tsunderes or kuuderes, and are always hitting the player characters. And the influx of anime themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to catgirls or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal pocky everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is an imouto?

So, our DM is a robot . Literally. We'd found out he was a robot not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either robots or machines, and are always beepin and blooping on the player characters. And the influx of robot themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to a transistor or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal laser guns everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a free copy of winrar?

So, our DM is a touhou. Literally. We'd found out she was from Gensokyo not too long before she took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either shrine maidens or youkai, and are always hitting the player characters with lasers. And the influx of loli themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to little girls or opening a treasure box that is rigged to polymorph everyone once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a funny hat?

>>10578986
>your quest reward is an imouto?
Awesome

So, our DM is a DM. Literally. Wehe DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many ofys hitting on the player characters. And the inflay themes is overwhelming like players waking up neSo, our DM is a faggot. Litelly. We'd foundck and balls?

I'm comfortable in my tyto lonestly, what wouou do when yost rewas adgel salls?

>treasure box that is rigged to fire metal dicks everywhere once opened.

This is not a symptom of teh gaes. This is a symptom of the DMs.

So, our DM is a rakshasa. Literally. We'd found out he was a rakshasa not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either priests or corpses, and are always being eaten and defiled by the player characters. And the influx of rakshasa themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to a dug-up grave or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal spears everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my faith to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a priest's head on a platter?

So, our DM is a heretic. Literally. We'd found out he was a heretic not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either witch hunters or inquisitors, and are always purging the player characters. And the influx of grimdark themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to a information extraction/torture device or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire holy promethium everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is an internment in a penitent engine?

>>10578819
>what would you do when your quest reward is a cudgel shaped like wolfcock?
Join the space wolves, obviously. I'd fit right in with a weapon like that.

So, our DM is a DM. Literally. We'd found out he was a DM not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either DMs or regular characters, and are always talking to the player characters. And the influx of DM themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to hairy DMs or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal d100s everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a DM's guide?

>>10579050
180px-Heresy_vein-popping.png
SRS BZNS GUIS

>>10578986
If we're playing Maid RPG...

So, Our DM is asjigjfsgjkldjkldfgjklsdfjklgf fuck it

So, our DM is Gary Gygax. Literally. We'd found out he was Gary not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either mad or evil, and are always killing the player characters. And the influx of gary's themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to angry rude Balors or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire spheres of annihilation everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a single +1 sword?

1276877365.png
SRS BZNS

So, our DM is a /b/tard. Literally. We'd found out he was a newfag not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either lolrandum or retarded, and are always hitting on the player characters. And the influx of /b/ memes is overwhelming like players waking up next to Milhouse or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire slowpokes everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but then I thought, nah forget it, yo homes to Bel-Air!

So, our DM is a demon. Literally. We'd found out he was a demon not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either demons or possessed, and are always hitting on the player characters. And the influx of demon themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to hairy demons or opening a treasure box that is rigged to metal demon dicks everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a dildo shaped like satan?

So, our DM is Candleja

So, our DM is a Beholder. Literally. We'd found out he was a Beholder not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either optometrists or sunglasses and are always staring at the player characters. And the influx of eyeball themes is overwhelming like players waking up with copious amounts of eye crust or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire contact lenses everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a bottle of eye drops?

So, our DM is a German. Literally. We'd found out he was a German not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either Germans or Jews/Americans/French, and are always trying to undermine or save the Reich of the player characters. And the influx of German themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to a fucking Poodle or opening a treasure box only to find two loaded pistols.

I'm comfortable in my nationality to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is an empty Bierstein and a Wagner song sung by the DM?

>>10579165
you suck it should be like this

So, our DM is a Candlejack. Literally. We'd found out he wa

>>10579187
Someone else knows poodles aren't french? Wow.

>>10579101
Read that in an Indian accent. Fuck it, I lol'd.

So, our DM is a loli. Literally. We'd found out she went to elementary school long before she took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either Bratz or Hanna Montana clones, and are always slutting on the player characters. And the influx of loli themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to hairy talking bears of questionable sexual morality or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal cookies everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity and adultness to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a frilly small dress with ribbons and cutesy hats?

So, our DM is a /v/irgin. Literally. We'd found out he was a /v/irgin not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either neckbeards or casuals, and are always stating that the PS3 has no games. And the influx of vidya themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to Tali or opening a treasure box that is rigged to a daily dose of P. Dick everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a Xbox 360 that just Rroded?

>>10579253
i chuckled

>>10579206

Faust-jokes. It's the greatest story about an old pervert getting jailbait pregnant ever told, according to Germany.

So, our DM is John. No really. We'd found out he was John not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either bitches or no lifes, and are always saying Shit was so cash. And the influx of so cash themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to copypasta or opening a treasure box that is rigged to so cash variations everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is being insulted by John?

>>10579345

I must admit i lol'ed.

>>10579158
>implying millhouse was ever a meme

>>10578551
I'd take the guy aside and tell him "okay, we accept that you're a homosexual and we have no problem with it. But we don't want to play a homosexual version of (insert game here). Keep your sexuality to yourself and stop flaunting it the game."

>>10579345

So, our DM is a Wulfen. Literally. We'd found out he was marked not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either wolf or viking, and are always wolfing on the player characters. And the influx of wolf themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to hairy nude wolves or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire wolves everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my chapter to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a cudgel shaped like wolves and runes?

>>10578719
>who you fuck does not make you unique and special.

Not true. Fucking, say, Jessica Alba makes you pretty neat.

"Gay with a lifestyle" is a fucking irritating sexual orientation.

So, our DM is Cultist-chan. Literally. We'd found out she was a cultist not too long before she took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either heereteecks or daayeemonss, and are always sacrificing the player characters. And the influx of Chaos themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to skulls or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire bullets everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my loyalty to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a Mark of Chaos?

>>10579199

>>10579690

>>10578819 here

Same with furries, or anyone with a kink or something like that. That's why I made the changes.

And it spiralled into a meme. I've created a monster.

So, our DM is Jesus. Literally. We'd found out he was the Messiah not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either romans or heathen Egyptians, and are always sacrificing the player characters. And the influx of Christian themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to Golgotha or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fling bibles with neons everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my atheism to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a crucifix and invitation to a prayer meeting?

>>10579732
If your DM actually was Jesus, I doubt it would've gone like this. He would've cooked up some pretty neat shit.

Also, free wine at every session.

So, our DM is a traitor. Literally. We'd found out he was a mutant Commie not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either unhappy or unhygenic, and are always inviting the player characters into their secret societies. And the influx of treasonous themes is overwhelming like players waking Outdoors or opening a PDC that is rigged to fire metal copies of Das Kapital everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my loyalty to Friend Computer to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a box of Soylent Crisps that's above your security clearance?

Someone post this on 1d4chan NAO!

So, our DM is an atheist. Literally. We'd found out he was a heretic not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either scientists or angsty teenagers, and are always ranking on religion. And the influx of atheist themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to Darwin or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fling those little fish with legs everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my Christianity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is the latest Richard Dawkins book?

So, our DM is me. Literally. I found out it was me not too long before I was forced to take the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either bland or uninteresting, and are always controlled by me. And the influx of predictable themes is overwhelming like players waking up and fighting orcs or forming adventuring parties with people they meet in a tavern.

I'm comfortable in my originality to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when the best quest reward you can come up with is a plain +2 cudgel?

better to be gay than a gay furry.


Just tell the fucker to tone it down.

So, our DM is Misaka Mikoto. Literally. We'd found out she was a Level 5 not too long before she took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either Gekota or Kirubear, and are always hitting on the player characters. And the influx of cutesy themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to girly crap or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal Touma figures screaming "FUKOU DA!" everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward are burnt Touma-shaped cookies?

>>opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal dicks everywhere once opened.

So, our DM is a spiders. Literally. We'd found out he was spiders not too long before he took the DM's web, but now... things aren't as spiders as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either spiders or lava, and are always eating the player characters. And the influx of spider themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to hairy queen spider or opening a spider egg-sac that is rigged to fire metal spiders everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my spiders to let this spiders, but honestly, what would you do when your spider reward is a spider shaped like spider and spiders?

So, our DM is /tg/. Literally. We'd found out he was /tg/ not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either furries or trap, and are always hitting on the player characters. And the influx of /tg/ themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to cultist-chan or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal dicks everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is 3 cutebolds and a fleshlight made from Kelly?

So, our DM is ZALGO. Literal ̵̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋ ̌̍̎̏̿̿̿̚y. We'd found out ҉ ҉ was coming not to̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇ ̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡o long before ҉Џᒈ took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awЋsome as they ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓ ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̔̔̕̚̕̚ ̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̚used ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̿̿̿̕̚̕̚͡ to be.

For instance, many of the ѪՁs are n҉̵̞̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠͇̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̚̕̚҉w either ҉̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞ ̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑ ̒̓̔̕̚ ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̕̚̕̚ ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍ or ҉, and are always inside pᐰᖚԃЏᒈ characters. And the influx of insiᓿᘟᗥϡϟde the wallᓿᘟѺᗥѺᗥϡϟᐝ is overwhelming like pҖҒҎyerѪՁs waking up̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞ ̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑ҖҒҎҸԆԶ the̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞ ̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑ wall or ҦЂҨis rigg҉ ҉҉I give you a haЉᙰѪburger̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞ ̟̠̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑ ̒̓̔̕̚ ̍̎̏̐̑̒̓̔̕̚̕̚ ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̚ ̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠ ̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏ ̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓ ̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏ ̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓ ̔̕̚̕̚ ̔̕̚̕̚҉ ed to fire inside the bacCѺᗥϡϟk of ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍ ̎̏̚ ̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠ ̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏ ̐̑̒̓̔̊̋̌̍̎̏̐̑̒̓ ̔̕̚̕̚ ̡̢̛̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̔̕̚̕̚ ̠̊̋̌̍̎̏̚ ̡̢̡̢̛̛̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠ ̖̗̘̙̜̝̞̟̠̊̋̌̍̎̏ y҉ur eyes everywhere once opened.

Ѿ҂ҊҖҒҎҸԆԶᑓϟᐝЉᙰᔒѪՁᓁhᕰeᓿᘟѺᗥCѺᗥϡϟᐝOЉЉᙰMѪՁEᓁᕰᓿSᐷҦЂ
ҨᖅЋ

So, our DM is Tony Hayward. Literally. We'd found out he was Tony Hayward not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either corporate executives or lawyers, and are always lying through their teeth. And the influx of oil themes is overwhelming like players waking up covered in crude oil or opening a pipeline that is rigged to spew hundreds of thousands of barrels of oil into the Gulf once it catastrophically failed.

I'm comfortable in my ecology to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a pitiful amount of compensation for having your livelihood destroyed?

So, our DM is a SHODAN. Literally. We'd found out she was AI not too long before she took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either pathetic hackers or the Many, and are always running through corridors. And the influx of sci-fi & horror themes are overwhelming like players waking up next to cyborg zombie nurses or opening a treasure box that is rigged to set off security cameras everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my hacking to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a few measly nanites?

>>10580090
HE COMES.

HE IS HERE.

>>10578551
I refuse to believe this is anything but a troll.

Hi, I'm gayfaggot Russell T. Davies. Let me tell you about my storyline for Doctor WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

So, our DM is HP Lovecraft. Literally. We knew he was Lovecraft not too long before he assumed the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, NiggerFish, NiggerFish everywhere. Raping the women and taking our jobs. Or every fucking thing being "indescribable". So HP, what springs out of the chest? Indescribable madness everywhere!

I'm comfortable to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when the best quest reward you can hope for is to go insane LATER!?

I love this thread.

>>10580126
do you have something against the use of metal dick projectile weapons in a fantasy game? roleplaying has been around for over 30 years. do you think something like the op post HASNT happened at least once before?

>>10580138

The Doctor as Jesus was cool the first 3 times he did it.

After that it started to get repetitive.

So, our DM is a sniper. Literally. We'd found out he was sniping not too long bef-

So, our DM is a woman. Literally. We'd found out she was female not too long before she took the DM's mantle, but now...things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either strong or independent, and are always filing sexual harassment suits against the player characters. And the influx of feminist themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to hairy bull dykes or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal tampons everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable enough in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a gallon of ice cream and a copy of The Notebook?

>>10579034
>fires metal laser guns

You have a problem with this WHY exactly?

So, our DM is a Christian Weston Chandler. Literally. We'd found out he was CWC not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either poorly drawn or searching for an 18-my current age boyfriend free girl to build into a sweetheart from the ground up, and are always getting thrown out of Wal Marts. And the influx of love quest themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to Crystal or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal Pokemon cards everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my appreciation for quality artwork and storylines to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a medallion shaped like a Sonichu head?

>>10580143
madness_everywhere.jpg

So, our DM is straight. Literally. We'd found out he was straight not too long before he took up the mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either men or women, and the women are always hitting on the male characters. And the influx of straight themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to a hot prositute of CHR 18 or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal vaginas everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my homosexuality to let this slide... but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a box of chocolates for your character's girlfriend?

>>10580162
... I'm okay with the ice cream.

So, our DM is A CHAR. Literally. We'd found out his real name wasn't Quattro Bajinanot too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either wearing masks or are teenage girls,and are always hitting on the player characters.And the influx of Char themes is overwhelming like players waking up in red armor or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire Zakus everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a red "Cape of 3x speed"

So, our DM is a internet meme. Literally. We'd found out he was meme not too long before he took the DM's copypasta, but now... things aren't as keyboard cat as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either pedobear or rickroll, and are always ruining on the OC. And the influx of meme themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to millhouse or opening a motivational poster that is rigged to fire metal CP everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my caturday to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your over 9000 reward is a tinychat shaped like all your base are belong to us and candleja-?

>>10580176
WHAT WOULD I DO!?
I'D ZAP TO THE MOTHERFUCKING EXTREME!!!!

So he was already gay before you guys found out right? Cus maybe he's just fucking with you guys to see how uncomfortable he can make you for shits and giggles. I don't really understand why his DMing would suddenly change so much just from you guys knowing about it otherwise.

Oh wait this is a troll thread

>>10580148
Frankly I think metal dick weaponry is more likely to have been implemented by an immature heterosexual than by a gay man.

>>10579064
>>10579064
>>10579064

>>10580205
B-but you didn't say all of candlejacks name, your shouldn't have dissappea

So, our DM is Blizard. Literally. We'd found out he was MMORPG not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either have no body parts or drop one foot, and are always respawning on the player characters. And the influx of repeating themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to hairy nude men selling gold or opening a treasure box that is ninjaed by a metal dick before you can open it.

I'm comfortable in my gaming to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a mount shaped like a cock and balls?

So our DM is Mario. Literally. We'd found out he was Mario not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either turtles or midgets with mushrooms on their heads, and are always telling us to go to another castle to find a princess. And the influx of jump-checks is overwhelming like players waking up next to men dressed in green overalls or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire blue shells everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a mushroom that makes you grow larger?

>>10580205
10/10 FUCKING MILHOUSE IS NOT A FUCKING MEME!

>>10579476
>implying 'millhouse is not a meme' is not a meme

So, our DM is a cool guy. Literally. We'd found out he was a bro not too long before he took the DM's mantle, and now things are even more awesome than they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either interesting or memorable, and are always interacting with the player characters. And the influx of awesome themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to robot dragons or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire just-hard-enough-to-beat enemies everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable with how cool this is to let this happen, but honestly, how could you not when your quest reward is a flying warship?

>>10580006
>>10580006
>>10580006
ONEEEESAMMMA

>>10580203
HAH! I approve.

So, our DM is a slightly used camel dealer. Literally. We'd found out he sold camels not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either camels or dromedaries, and are only slightly used, better than new! And the influx of camel themes is overwhelming like players waking up to rants about quality camel-based transportation or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire advertisements everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable on my horse to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a purebred dungeon camel?

So, our DM is a troll. Seriously. We'd found out he was Flee not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either 4rries or 3aboos, and are always harassing the player characters. And the influx of troll themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to Jim Profit or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal katanas everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a cudgel shaped like a trollface?

So, our DM is a metaphor. Literally. We'd found out he was symbolic not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now representations of abstract concepts, and are always confusing the player characters. And the influx of metaphorical themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to white doves or opening a treasure box that is rigged to compare itself to war without using "like" or "as" once opened.

I'm comfortable in my intelligence to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a cudgel shaped like despair?

So, our DM is a /tg/ tough guy. Literally. We'd found out he was a sagefag not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either rightfun or scrupulously not marysued, and are always meta-scolding on the player characters. And the influx of related themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to greentext or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire reports everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a cudgel shaped like nofun.jpg?

>>10580319

>>10580289
>box fires katanas
>sell masterwork bastard swords
>small profit

So, our DM is an aspie. Literally. We'd found out he had an Aspies for Freedom account not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either aspies or auties, and are always dominating any conversations we try to have. And the influx of aspie themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to blowup dolls or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire rulers everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my social skills to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a hugbox?

>>10580287

>>10580337
Where is this from?

>a cudgel shaped like despair
I would brofist the DM who gave me this.

So, our DM is Rob Schneider. Literally. We'd found out he was Rob Schneider not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either Staplers or carrot, and are always Da Derp De Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpee Dumb. And the influx of Schneider themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to Adam Sandler or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire The Aninal DVDs once opened.

I'm comfortable in my love of bad movies to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a cudgel shaped like the Biggest Douche in the Universe?

So, our DM is a Tolkienfag. Literally. We'd found out he was a Papist not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either implausibly good or comically evil, and are always reciting improvised poetry to the player characters. And the influx of constructed languages is overwhelming like players waking up next to almost-naked mutants with annoying voices or coming to a dungeon entrance that won't open unless you solve some gay riddle.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a single ring of invisibility that you're not even allowed to use for some gay reason?

>>10580263
So, Mikoto here. Our DM is my roommate Kuroko. Literally. We'd found out she was lesbian not too long before she took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either lesbian or bi, and are always hitting on the player characters. And the influx of lesbian themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to crazy sex-craving lesbians or opening a teleporting treasure box that is rigged to have Kuroko pop up everywhere screaming 'ONEE-SAMA!' once opened.

I'm comfortable in my femininity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a big chocolate statue in the shape of me?

>>10580383
oh man i dunno, eoris maybe?

So, our DM does not exist. Literally. We'd found out he was nonexistent not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now not there, and never interact with the player characters. And the lack of themes is overwhelming like players waking up alone or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire absolutely nothing once opened.

I'm comfortable in my existence to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward isn't there at all?

rolled 2, 3, 2, 5, 1, 3, 1, 6 = 23

>>10580337
Does anyone have a pdf of this game. I really want to know the context of all that bullshit.

So, our DM is Steve. Literally. We'd found out he was a planefag not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either SAMs or AAA, and are always locking on to the player characters. And the influx of enemy aircraft is overwhelming like players waking up to a British carrier group raid or being blackmailed into a suicide mission by a third world government.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a meticulously detailed report of the WAR CRIMES your characters just committed?

rolled 5 = 5

>>10579064
>I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a funny hat?

IT'S THE STRONGEST QUEST REWARD YOU DOLT

>>10580452

imokaywiththis.jpg

So, our DM is sad Keanu. Literally. We'd found out he was awesome yet troubled not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either DUDE or MOST EXCELLENT, and are always airguitaring on the player characters. And the influx of depressing themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to the cruel twist of fate that tears their loved ones from them for no reason why God, WHY? or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire the loneliness of a man so far out of reach he can't even count himself as a companion everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a cudgel shaped like a small bird running past representing the futility of existence despite the outward appearance of awesome?

>>10580517

>>10578986
>fire metal pocky
>fire thin rods of metal everywhere

dude, those are flechettes.

>>10580252
i lol'd on this one

>>10579253

>> waking up next to Tali

I'm incredibly ok with this.

>>10580560
Delicious flechettes.

So, our DM is a Katana. Literally. We'd found out he was a japanese sword not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either folded up to a million times or completely inferior, and are always being bought for 300 000 yen (that is, around 2000 bucks). And the influx of killed gaijins is overwhelming like players waking up next to a guy who is constantly bragging about being able to cut slabs of solid rock.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is always a katana even if you're trained in polearms?

>but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a cudgel shaped like cock and balls?

Scream "HORSE COCK" whenever I roll to attack.

>>10579246
offer her pizza

So, our DM is a Troper. Literally. We'd found out TVTropes Had Ruined His Life not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either subject to Characterization Tropes or Characters as Device, and are always acting according to established patterns found throughout a variety of media. And the influx of Tabletop Games Tropes is overwhelming like players waking up next to a Squishy Wizard or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire Metaplot everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my originality to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a cudgel that's Made of Phebotinum?

>>10580601

You know what they say, when life gives you swords, stick the swords on the end of long fuckoff poles and go kill motherfuckers with it.

>>10580601
I knew it was only a matter of time....

So, our DM is God. Literally. We'd found out she was srange not too long before she took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as sensible as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either aliens or time travelers, and are always participating in club activities with the player characters. And the influx of supernatural themes is overwhelming like players waking up in an alternate dimension or opening a computer that is rigged to send you back in time if a certain key is pressed.

I'm comfortable in my humanity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a frog costume, and you have to do the same quest over 15000 times?

>>10580648
Hey, >>10580358 already did that.

>>10580634
woah, retro.

So, our DM is a faggot. Literally. We'd found out he was a processed meat dish from England not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either dumplings or mashed potatoes, and are always sticking on the player characters. And the influx of gravy themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to stock cubes or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire fresh frozen peas everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a cudgel shaped like spotted dick and custard?

>what would you do when your quest reward is a cudgel shaped like cock and balls?

Seeing as I am playing a Warforged, I will take levels of both cleric of Sune as well as tantrist. Afterwards I will graft the cudgel to my groin and henceforth be known forevermore as Sunder-rod Girl-breaker.

>>10578576
Fucking THIS

>>10580716

So, our DM is a faggot. Literally. We'd found out he was a bundle of sticks or branches, usually meant for use as firewood not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either fire or fire based, and are always causing severe burns to the player characters. And the influx of wood themes is overwhelming like players waking up in bed next to oak trees or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire termites everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a fire blanket and a bucket of water?

>>10580749
that will probably send one hell of a wrong message. unless of course you want to fuck the dm in which case go for it

>have gay DM
>characters kidnapped for torture
>brace for fun
>put in iron maiden of dicks

Oh, what the hell.

>>10580786
oh god damnit they probably wouldnt even be sharp
fucking faggot riddling you with dick bruises

>>10580735
You good sir are made of only the purest win.

>>10580786

>>10580673
>>10580673

How much damage does the cudgel do?

So, our DM is Zardoz. Literally. We'd found out he was Zardoz not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either Brutals or Etherals, and are always hitting on the player characters one way or another. And the influx of Zardoz themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to guns or opening a treasure box that is rigged to shoots death and purifies earth everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my mentality to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is guns and the command to cleanse earth of the plauge of man?

/tg/, I expect this thread to either be archived on sup/tg/ or posted to 1D4 chan within 2 hours. Failure results in death.

WHY IS THIS NOT ON 1D4CHAN?! HERESY!!!

>>10578613

THIS. The only way to stop this that is also awesome is to out-queen him.

>>10580764
>>10580716
So, our DM is a faggot. Literally. We'd found out he was an embroidery stitch not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either threads or needles, and are always trailing from the player characters. And the influx of sewing themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to cats unravelling their hard work or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal thimbles everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a pattern shaped like a twee teapot and cups?

I love you /tg/. Never change.

I declare "So, our DM is a faggot. Literally." to be the best Copypasta since "
Katanas are Underpowered in d20"

So, our DM is posters in this thread who don't appear to get the joke. Literally. We'd found out he was clueless not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either wittering on like the OP was serious or obsessed with the phallic content of the original post, and are always missing the fun next to the player characters. And the influx of "I'm so not gay" themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to posters going on and on about it or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire shrill protest everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a cudgel shaped like a closet?

>163 posts and 35 image replies omitted.

So, our DM is a faggot. Literally. We'd found out he was a cigarette not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either golds or lights, and are always stinking up the entire room. And the influx of smoking themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to tobacco or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire metal cigarettes everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a lighter?

>>10579101

Thumbs are on the wrong side of the hand for that rakshasa.

>>10581328
He's not a rakshasa, though. Just felt the picture was appropros.

So, our DM is Saxton Hale. Literally. We'd found out he was an Australian legend not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either gentlemen of leisure or hairy man giants,and are always hitting on the player characters.And the influx of MannCo themes is overwhelming like players waking up next to a rabid bear or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire flaming metal shrapnel everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my masculinity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a "towering pillar of hats?"

>>10581462
>implying having Saxton Hale as DM isn't invariably awesome

>>10581493
I think it'd be awesome, but I think getting hats as quest rewards all the time would get a little tiresome.

>>10581510
But you wouldn't just get hats...

Pic related.

>>10581510
>Quests
There would be no quests. Just one continuous story of awesome.

So, our DM is a cat. Literally. We'd found out he was feline not too long before he took the DM's mantle, but now... things aren't as awesome as they used to be.

For instance, many of the NPCs are now either food or mice, and are always giving the characters catnip. And the influx of cat themes is overwhelming like players being watched as they masturbate or opening a treasure box that is rigged to fire laser pointers everywhere once opened.

I'm comfortable in my humanity to let this slide, but honestly, what would you do when your quest reward is a keyboard?

You guys think I should go ahead and archive this?

>>10582234
YES!

>>10579345
>>10580176
>>10580464
>>10580517
>>10580716

This is the greatest thread in the history of /tg/