>>11665005
Oh god, that post is fucking painful to read.

But now I want to make a movie of a group of 8 heroes, every one is a 'shady character'.

It'll be a comedy.

Sounds more like the cleric needs to get with the program.

>the goblins suddenly start running and a fucking frost dragon attacks the group from behind.
>Only the cleric who attacked the goblins is spared.

I lol'd

Your group sound funny. I like the cleric already. My group have NO SHADY GUY.

op: I would love to see that movie. and I would post it so hard the url gets an std.

That's gold

Players 1-4 roll intimidate, one rolls nat 20. Goblins are scared to death of the group of people who ignore them like they're just some ants and drop what they have and run.

Party chuckles to itself and cleric fumes at not being able to dispense his holy wrath. :( poor cleric.

Captcha: Richard dogilly

Fund it.

Reminds me of those old RP logs in IRC or even Starcraft.

>>ShadowXKiller slips into the bar unnoticed and sits at the back, pulling his hood up.
>>TinyKittenMama tears off her shirt <3

Just one big trainwreck, and you know these shady characters are always played by that one fat kid who wore a black trenchcoat to school with a brown fedora.

Reward the cleric with phat lootz and mad XPs.

Yeah, we've got a guy like that too.

One solution I've found is to give players with Shady Guy Syndrome a personal drive, or motivation, to be more active.
For example,
"You have been poisoned. Somewhere in the kingdom is a goblin carrying the only antidote."

He'll start attacking them left and right.

I quietly sharpen my dagger and don't talk to anyone oh god a girl is coming over here WHAT DO I DO?

>>11665104
It could get funny if they try to one up each other. You just know they have names like Darkblayde, Mystchilde and Nightjack too.

>>11665129
>>11665129
Darkshadow Nytesword of the Underdark, master of stealth and subterfuge.

>>11665023
no,
>>11665145
THAT was painful to read.
Seriously slap the fuck out of that preteen angsty motherfucker, motherfucker.

>>11665156
>no,
You hath been outvoted.

>>11665156
Sir, I believe you may be confusing sarcastic fiction with reality. I was just making up a cliche "so edgy and dark" name.

captcha: cremieux worfecy

Cremieux Worfecy, a dapper French gentleman and skilled rogue.

>>11665145
What about...
Ebony Dark'ness Raven Dementia Way

>>11665129
I used to hang around just to call them out and ruin their dark mystery guy persona.

>>[anon] calls out to the strange guy. Hey! Hey fella! Come up 'ere to the bar and get try yerself some of the house beer! IT'S FOOKIN GREAT!
>>DarkbladeRavenclaw: Sorry. Alcohol isn't my thing. Not since my parents were brutally murdered.
>>Misskittynukoo rubs her tittys in darkblade's face
>>Misskittynukoo: cheer up, hun <3
>>[anon]: BUT THE BEER IS FOOKING GREEAAAAT!
>>[anon] falls into drunken rage and starts hurling chairs.
>>DarkbladeRavenclaw: u guys are gay

>>11665180
IT BURNS ME.

>>11665180
Raven Nightshade of the Grimdark

The last one of these I ran into was the only one in the party, but he was just four times as bad to compensate for it. When the party first met up in a town being sieged by zombies, he snuck off to break into a building full of a bunch of refugees to 'look for clues' while everybody else was, you know, fighting zombies. The building he went into was open to the public, but he specified that he wanted to break into it anyway. Needless to say, the random homeless people did not have any clues.

>>11665177
Oh yes, I was very aware that that was your intention.
However, the image in my mind that this name created was so rage inducing I said what I felt you or anyone should do whomever uses this or any similar name.

>>11665192
>Raven Nightshade of the Grimdark
Dark Knight of excalibur, Deathblade Wolf, wielder of the Ryotsu devil sword.

>>11665180
What about.
Karanlık du Svart the Nero Black

Heh. I either play the overly eccentric sorc, or the preacher paladin. And I only play as a human. Why? Because it allows me to drag the rest of the party into all kinds of shit, and usually ruin whatever "Shady dark Wolololo" shit they try to pull.

>>11665210
Noirdusk Von Gloomlight, Twilight Mystguard and wielder of the Shadowsword Infinitus_666

>>11665208
>Dark Knight of excalibur, Deathblade Wolf, wielder of the Ryotsu devil sword.

Dāku Ikari, (that's "Dark Fury" in japanese for all you bakas) the half-demon warrior of the Eternal Vengeance clan, wielder of the enchanted katana Itami to nikushimi. He has raven black hair and his father was a pit fiend. He constantly fights with the dark nature inside of him, and once single-handedly saved a town from a tarrasque!

>>11665037
Didn't you read OPs post? There's a recently-prodded fire of unspecified size in there! If I were a frost dragon, I'd probably be all "fuck that! I ain't going near that fire!"
Not only that, but they didn't specify the size of the fire. Since it can be anywhere from infinitely small to infinitely large, the fire might in fact be the size of an entire galaxy!

>>11665005
You guys are going for the fanciful black names, but I'll go with the classic.

Crow

>>11665218
Being a Neutral Evil Dwarf Fighter works just as well.

Get drunk and refuse to put up with any emo bullshit.

>>11665210
Also translation: Darkness dark Dark the Dark Black
>>11665223
I give up.

>>11665245
gesundheit

>>11665247
"Aye, now this be more like it! The first t' disobey me orders gets an axe in their skull."

>>11665258
He said neutral evil, not Neutral Scottish.

>>11665188

Those are the moments I used to live for.

>xXxDeathsbladexXx sits in the corner, brooding over a mug of ale.
>SUPABALLIN hangs out in a different corner, smoking and thinking about his dark past.
>ItsATravisT sulks about not getting all of the attention in the room, and also uses this description to detail his life's story. In the form of scars.
>[Anon] kicks in the door, his nerdy appearance almost overpoweringly awkward and nervous. "GUYS, I NEED TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT SOMETHING GRIM AND DARK, SOMEONE HELP ME!"

And then they try to out-Baron-Munchhausen each other for three and a half hours.

Y'all ever have the one guy who always wants to be possessed by demons or whatever? We had one of those guys... and he played the dark, brooding type of character to. This is alongside random female rogue, wizard who ended up in melee most of the time (stupid party doesn't know how to make a wall), a 'that guy' and random party member of the week (we've had a lot of replacing out and such).

You guys are cracking me up.

Captcha: therbyt despairs
FUCKIN HELL!

>>11665266
It's a Korgan Bloodaxe quote. I just copied it.

Gloomdark Painsuffer, wielder of Rageshadow the battleaxe, which was tainted by the blood of a powerful demon eons ago.

>>11665235

>Dāku Ikari, (that's "Dark Fury" in japanese for all you bakas) the half-demon warrior of the Eternal Vengeance clan, wielder of the enchanted katana Itami to nikushimi. He has raven black hair and his father was a pit fiend. He constantly fights with the dark nature inside of him,
Well this is pretty irritating stuff

>and once single-handedly saved a town from a tarrasque!
>a tarrasque
>Implying that there's more than one tarrasque

NEEERDRAAAAAAAGEE MAAAAAAX!

>>11665266
Same thing really.

>>11665266

same thing anyway

>>11665292
All in a day's work

>>11665295
>>11665297
Hey! I'm Scottish!

>>11665295
>>11665297
samethingmind

>>11665235
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

>>11665297
>>11665295
Hive Mind

>>11665302

so am i

and i'm one of the 2 in the scotsmind anyway

>>11665297
>>11665295

Scotsmind

I used to fuck with this kind of guy in my group by using Benign or Baleful Transposition to switch places with him as he was about to do something 'dark' or monologue.

>>11665313
>>11665310
>>11665303
ScotsScotsmind

>>11665247
Could backfire spectacularly. A few drinks in and the dwarf could be crying how nobody loves him.
"Id! Idz juzt too much! A-Ah didzndeven zhee er when zhe left me! I-I-I-WAAAAAAAH!"
*Dwarf hugs one of the shady guys, crying all over his hood*
"Ah-ah dzidzn wan -hic- You'z my only friendz man! I love you! Gedz overere an- gimme a hug!
O-oi! Zhdop looking ad my friend you...you...ey! Zhdop looking ad him! Yo-you've godz a problem wiz my friend? Come on you! P-put -em up! No-nobodzy lookz ad my friendz like dat an...an... wad waz I dzoing again?

>>11665316
I would just prank them using magic.
Dye all their black gear pink, turn their weapons into prop items, cause their pants to fall down, etc.

I was in a Star Wars game years ago (d6) and there was the sci-fi version of this guy, the Boba Fett wannabe. Dude was so antisocial with his "I'm a mysterious badass wearing invincible armor" RP that the party beat him into a coma with a stun stick and then ejected him from an airlock. While in hyperspace transit.

Guess who we find waiting for us at the next planet?

>rageatgm.jpg

What about making a pastiche of the brooding dark character? Like how about a fat wheezy guy who carries a machete and broods about how he was thrown out of a burger king or got kid out of his mom's basement.

>>11665343
Is that you, Wasteland Warrior?

requesting screencap of this epic thread.

>>11665342
Well how in the fuck did he survive? Now you need to tell us the story.

>>11665343

>>11665005
I want to have one "shady guy in the corner" NPC next time I GM. He'll just be sitting in the back, hood over his face, stubble all over his chin and saying nothing.

When the party investigates, he's drunk off his ass and attempting to sleep it off.

A bard would be fucking hilarious for this. Half their spells are just dicking around anyway (at least in 3.5, can't speak for any other editions). Plus if they ever get uppity, you can just withhold buffs ("I'm sure the mighty Blackdeath Shadowcock can deal with this threat on his own.")

Also, always having a readied action to cast Fling on a Bane dagger right before the shadowy past dickhead attacks whatever you're aiming at. Killstealing lulz ensue.

It kind of makes you want to start one of these angsty teenage roleplay IRC rooms, where you're the innkeeper.

Give it a really EDGY GRIMDARK NAME too, like

"Red Raven's Rest, final food and lodging on the bone road to BlackSoul Mountain."

Then, draw up a floor plan.

There are 4 fireplaces in the common room, one on each wall.

The corners of the building are rounded, so there are no dark corners.

A team of trained homonculii perpetually sweep the place clean of any beer spills, spider webs, or random dark and edgy pointed weapons lodged in the walls or tables.

There are no booths, only long tables and benches, with lanterns every three feet.

>Grimblade the Black sneaks into the tavern, and sits down silently in the a dark corner and begins watching the room.

>"HAIL STRANGER! YOU'LL NOTE THAT THERE ARE NO DARK CORNERS IN MY BAR! DON'T BE SHY, THERE'S A SEAT ON THE BENCH RIGHT THERE BETWEEN THE FRIENDLYMANCER AND THE PRETTY PRINCESS OF PINKTOPIA, THE LAND FULL OF PRETTY PINK FLOWERS. CAN I FETCH YOU SOME ALE AND MUTTON?"

>>11665388

Meant to point to:

>>11665327

It was a dark night - NO - a dark AND stormy night. I had just finished a triple bacon supreme at the local burger delicatessen when it happened. A lurching in my bowels. I rushed home to my Plus-Sized-Individual's Handicap Toilet, but the door was locked. There was a note above the peephole reading:

"Daniel. You're being kicked out. You'll find your porn and soiled clothes in a box on the curb. Love, Mom."

I fell to my knees and raised my beefy fists to the heavens, swearing vengeance on all of the vapid girls in the world that curse me with this virginity.

Also, it started raining.

>>11665388
>>11665396
Oh how delightful, I think I'm gonna have to try this if I ever come across a wangsty teen rogue.

>>11665361

Not much story to it, the GM was just protecting him.

There was a long argument about whether or not we could kill him while he was unconscious in his armor, and the GM ruled we couldn't. Then we argued that we were taking his armor off, and he and the GM concocted a mechanism where only he could remove his armor from the inside. That's when he was ejected from the airlock in hyperspace.

The thinking was that he'd be stuck in hyperspace forever and therefore unable to be an invincibly armored irritant anymore, but the GM was so keen on keeping this character alive, for WHATEVER fucking reason, that he was somehow rescued and arrived at our destination to rejoin us.

Fucking. Seriously.

>>11665373
Now that right there is going to intimidate a band of orcs trying to rape and kill your woman.

>>11665409
CHOO CHOO

>>11665373
>>11665373
What the fucking hell

>>11665373
How do beasts such as these get such confidence?

this fucker RIGHT HERE

also, he was an asshole to Viconia

>>11665414
Merciful Gruumsh, please don't start quoting from the DM's Guide!

>>11665432
Everybody else is too kind to give them the assbeating they so desperately need.

Alternatively, everyone's just afraid of being sat on.

>>11665404
>Also, it started raining.

I have never done an honest spit take in my life. Thanks anon.

>>11665450

Or nobody has the endurance it would take to wail on such a doughy beast. Good god that would take forever.

>>11665409
Maybe the Heart of Gold picked him up?

Let's see... Bad RPG Stereotypes

Lawful Stupid (Pally/Cleric, upholds law instead of what's right)
Dark Silent Douche (plenty of info in thread)
Chaotic Stupid ('It doesn't matter what I do, I'm chaotic neutral, i can do whatever I want with no reason')
Mary Sue
That Guy
Prankster/Trickster (Kender Rogues)

>>11665492

The minmaxed magic 6 mage that insists on playing eco-terrorist types.

Or somewhat less genre specific, the munchkin that only RPs really annoying characters.

>>11665492
>That Guy
"Guys, this is a low fantasy setting, okay?"
-Alright, here's my female half-dragon sorceror.

>>11665492

The Elven Ranger whose name is a variant of Legolas, and always shoots things with his bow no matter what, usually describing how he killed his enemy in a direct rip-off of the Lord of the Rings movies.

>>11665434
>bg 1
>teaming good characters with evil ones

No, not after Jaheira and Khalid started arguing with the evil necro & dwarf duo and suddenly ALL of them left the party, leaving me, a level-3 wizard, in the middle of nowhere, with the company of a dozen ghouls.

No, I'm not falling for that again.

>>11665492

Also, add Axebeard Beardaxe of the Hammerale clan, the sturdy dwarf fighter who loves to quaff bear and hates elfs.

>>11665492
I absolutely loathe chaotic stupid characters, or people who just pick fights for no reason. It is maddening.

>>11665511
Or the LOL DRUNKEN SCOTTISH DWARF. He uses a big axe and hates dem elves! Such original comedy gold.

>>11665522
Aw you beat me to it.

>>11665522
>quaff bear

>>11665512
>>No, not after Jaheira and Khalid started arguing with the evil necro & dwarf duo and suddenly ALL of them left the party, leaving me, a level-3 wizard, in the middle of nowhere, with the company of a dozen ghouls.

Fucking lol

>>11665539

This makes such an awesome picture in my mind

>>11665404
>>11665373
>>11665343

This is my next World of Darkness character. I have to play him.

But why attack the goblins? Have they harmed the characters? Feels like the Cleric is the only psychopathic bad guy in the group.

>>11665391
Have a no smoking sign hanging from the bar
Player = I light my pipe and take a puff as I survey the scene
Innkeeper = WHY HELLO THERE! TERRIBLY SORRY BOUT THIS BUT WE'RE A NO SMOKING ESTABLISHMENT! PLEASE GO TO THE NO SMOKING AREA OUTSIDE

>>11665492
The WOW-kid that has no sense of actual roleplaying. He just wants more loot and XP.

>>11665563
>THE NO SMOKING AREA OUTSIDE
Can't smoke inside, can't smoke outside. What's a rogue to do?

>>11665544

"Get down there, bear! I'm quaffing you and there's naught you can do about it!"

>>11665571
Pardon sir. You know how long shifts can addle a barman's mind. You can find the smoking area outside clearly roped off. It's surrounded by lamps so no worries about not being able to see

>>11665563

This explains so much about the UK smoking ban. They were sick of people being dark and brooding in British pubs!

Also, a pub with not enough corners for all the dark and brooding people to brood in sounds like an interesting idea, if just to start fights as to who gets which corner to brood in. Alternatively, specified "brooding zones" in pubs and similar establishments along the same vein as smoking areas. Try and be dark and brooding when you've got to share the brooding zone with half a dozen other people all being dark and brooding!

Quick question, everyone.

I keep hearing about "That guy"

Who is That guy? Please understand that I don't browse this board often, so if this is common knowledge, then I'm sorry.

>>11665592
"I chop the barman's head off for not letting me smoke." ROFL!

>>11665607
Maybe you could just get a round pub without any corners.

>>11665505
see
>>11665608
you lazy bastard

>>11665607
Hmm. Nice idea. The brooding zone will obviously have plenty of corners and be lighted by a single candle.

>>11665608

Oh, you know. That guy. That one guy who reeks of piss and failure. That guy who always rolls up Chaotic Neutral characters to justify his being able to do whatever he wants. That guy who tries to munchkin and tries to be the party leader but fails miserably at both.

That guy.

SO brooding...

>>11665607
>>11665627
I'm now laughing my ass off. I love /tg/.

>>11665608

Check out >>11665505

Or check out 1d4chan.org

>>11665607
But... you need at least ONE guy being dark and brooding...

Who are you going to be referred to for quests? I assume that the real world equivelant is something closer to a drug run, but still, same deal.

>>11665618
Now now my man. No need to get violent. I must warn you that if you continue to be rowdy Mr.Rock will have to escort you offthe premises. Oh you haven't met him? He's the troll over there carrying the ale barrels

>>11665665

Did I say troll? Oh, silly me. It's a NEUTRONIUM GOLEM

>>11665655

You go to the dark and brooding section of the bar. Everyone will try to out-brood each other to attract your attention, so that only the darkest and the most mysterious get any business from adventurers. If anything, such a scheme would drastically improve the quality of brooding now that the competition is packed so tightly together. The weak brooders and the mildly moody fall off while the world-class dark n' edgy refine their craft.

>>11665655
>Who are you going to be referred to for quests?

The guy who's the exact opposite of dark and brroding. What is the opposite of dark and brooding anyway? Light and... Cheery? Optimistic? Naive?

>>11665673

But that means that young and inexperienced brooders will quickly be extinct with no niche for them to practice their craft, as all brooding spots will be taken by the established brooders. In fact, brooders may become an endangered species.

You think you got it bad? I play with a bunch of R.A. Salvatore fan-boys who all try to roleplay as brooding dark outcasts. (A half-dragon, a half-orc, and a half-elf) And they all call each other out for being Drizzt clones. If it wasn't for the other players in the group I probably would've left

>>11665682What is the opposite of dark and brooding anyway?

>>11665684
That's the main problem of the capitalistic brooding system. The working brooders of the world must unite and brood together as comrades!

See, I'm specifically trying to avoid this type of "dark, brooding" crap, but I fear that even my best attempt still comes off as sort of cliche.

Fury, a tiefling warlock, infernal pact. Brusque and confident, views all combat as a personal challenge and an affront. Cocky, arrogant, and never dwells on a miserable past. Uses party interactions to his advantage. Unaligned, trending lawful evil.

How do I keep the character from falling into Saturday morning cartoon villain while maintaining a compelling personality?

>>11665671
"You're dead! You can't talk! And plus, my sword can cut neutronium no problem! You're such a noob RPer!"

>>11665563
>Have a no smoking sign hanging from the bar

AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAH
Sorry, I just find this hilarious because in a game I'm currently in, my Ventrue is going out of his way to get no-smoking regulation passed and heavily enforced in the city the chronicle is set in for a simple reason: he knows for a fact that it will piss off one, individual Brujah.

We're talking stiff penalties, heavy fines, the -works-. All because this one guy pissed him off. AND IT'S WORKING BEAUTIFULLY!

I play a broody character, but damn if I don't have a reason to wear hoods and a veil. My tiefling has an effective Charisma of 22, so I've actually had to skip town because I was being chased by rabid fangirls.

...Incidentally, do any of you know what the Challenge Rating on a rabid fangirl is? Do I apply their health to each one, or do they count as a swarm?

>>11665699

His overconfidence stays short of cartoon supervillainy. He'll play the tropes, but only until it's boring or it endangers him. He also has legitimate and real character flaws.

>>11665682
>What is the opposite of dark and brooding anyway?

>>11665684
Apprenticing system for brooders could solve this.

>>11665695

Stoked and self-confident

>>11665673

Oh god... the image...

A whole bar full of dark and brooding types, each trying to make their hoods go further over their eyes, pretending to be inconspicious about sharpening their daggers, rattling jars of poison in their coats, leering from beneath their brows, whispering in dark and evil languages, muttering in low tones with some guy sitting next to them....

and ALL of them fall silent, leaning back to puff on their pipes at once when the adventurers enter.

>>11665734
No! That will only cause unfair competition.
We need a free-market brooding system where everyone can brood and try to get an edge over the competition. This will eventually cause enterprising brooders to hire other brooders to work for them and educate them in the art of brooding to get an edge over the competition.

>>11665734

This reminds me of the scene in Going Postal where Moist is going to the bar to pick up Ms. Dearheart and he passes a bunch of guys practicing choreography for the bar brawl

>>11665697
No longer shall the long bright light overcome the forces of the benevolent shadow!
No longer shall their cursed candles illuminate our corners of sanctuary!
Their no-smoking signs shall be overthrown and turned over!
No more shall our oppressors rob us of our brooding nature! Rise brothers!
For fuck's sake people get out of the corner, there's 3 of you to a chair for lord's sake....

>>11665699
Be insanely cheerful. Like, ridiculously, bordering on mental illness dementedly happy.

>>11665711

Swarm with a couple of gargantuan creatures thrown in.

captcha: (1821-86) eadets...
wtf captcha?

>>11665758
THE BROODING GUILD DISAPPROVES

ALSO YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF THIS CITY'S LAW

BROODING WITHOUT A BROODING LICENSE

>>11665770
Tough shit!
Free-market brooding will advance brooding society way faster than guild-based brooding!

>>11665782

Someone HAS TO mail this thread to Terry Pratchett

Seriously, I want a novel based on this thing

>>11665711

your use of the word "fangirls" has ruined my day.

>>11665758

Bah, this will only result in some brooders dominating the market, lack of brooding in "unprofitable" venues, and so on. Brooding is much too important for a society to be left to business people and their short-sighted, profit-oriented thinking.

>>11665748

This is bound to form a group that judges the brooders. They are present in every tavern, carefully marking the behavior of the brooder on a scale from one to ten.

Then you have a catalogue of brooders for your tavern available at the brooders guild.

>>11665793
I'll just set the anti-brooding squads on your asses. Nice surprises and specialist entertainment, they will fuck up your brooding. This is a guild city, son, you better remember that.

*leans back so hood lets a shadow fall over his eyes, takes a toke from the etc. pp.

>>11665816
No, this will result in brooders trying to find niche-markets and new brooding ideas and will expand the market, thus bringing in more brooders than the former system instead of less.

>>11665782
I'm now imagining a guy trying to look inconspicous and brooding as he's dragged away by the city guard
>>11665795
Is he still writing or has the alzheimer taken hold

>>11665821

"What? You want to hire Darkblayde Shadowhyde? I'm sorry, he's currently on a tavern tour in West Mattar. Would you like to try Nightshade Verres?"

Drizzt. Drizzt everywhere

>>11665699
Depends on the cliche, I guess.

I played a hobo messiah vampire for a while, the sort of guy that put in the minimum amount of effort to get things done because he was more interested in getting high and fucking with people than focus completely on a task. He needed minions, so he started a bum cult. He was interested in preserving the city as is because he was amazingly self-centered and loved how things were.

He had a laugh like a man's dying cough and -loved- picking fights with people larger than he was because, well, he could survive just about anything they threw at him. Rude, crude, and never stood still. He ended up dying when a half-dozen vampires he was fucking with decided to end him in a crowded bar.

His last moments on Earth were spent being stabbed, shot, and punched while he stood there with a huge smile on his face shouting out enough vampire secrets to ensure that his attackers would be found by the paranoid Prince and killed off for a Masquerade breach.

This is getting silly and can someone please turn on the light.

>>11665855party of all drizzt's

not enough dorfs in the world to chum up to all of them

I once attempted to play a dark brooding assassin character. I soon realized the I couldn't stand this type of character. I'm too used to playing the bold fighter types.

I've played a character who started as the shady guy in the corner.

He ended up blowing up a mountain with him in it, destroying an island nation with a wave of zombies, and creating a magical rift big enough to transport 5 dragons across the face of the Earth.

Being shady in the corner doesn't really work anymore now that he's a living legend. Which is funny because every other character in this group is part of some ancient important prophecy that everyone knows about.

He was supposed to be that one non-legendary guy in a group full of heros. Then he ended up accidentally writing his own legend because people kept pissing him off, kidnapping his wife, or otherwise giving him a reason to do crazy shit.

>>11665821
Brooding olympics

"Now here we see a nice play by Darkstorm Slyhand. The classic lighting a pipe and ignoring the hero. It's a classic move bound to score points with the judg...OH WAIT HE'S DROPPED THE MATCHBOX! THE BARMAID GOES TO PICK THEM UP AND ARGH HE MADE EYE CONTACT. That's gonna cost him dearly. I'll be surprised if he can make a comeback from that slip up"

>no James Bond the Crab itt

fucking gay

>>11665864
Sorry, the guild lobbied for a new law. No lights between seven and eight in the evening. Candlemaker's guild is pretty pissed about it, but whaddaya gonna do?

>>11665837
>niche-markets and new brooding ideas

There's nothing left to invent in brooding. We got the pipe, we got the hood, we got the dagger-sharpening: the three pillars of brooding, that have never changed, will never change, must never change.

>>11665846

You are walking towards the market. You see a poster on the wall. It says:

"BLOODY HEAD TAVERN

A place to enjoy

This week's brooder: Raven Nightshade of the Grimdark - From 18:00 to 6:00

Special dark room for apprentice and amateur brooders - 50 copper pieces per hour - is licensed as a proper brooding room for a brooding exam

troll your brooding characters by giving them lawfully aligned sentient weapons or possessing them with devils (also lawful by nature). all of a sudden your grim character cannot sit idly by in a dark corner -- theres a world to conquer and order to upkeep!

>my face when this entire thread

Stay classy, /tg/. Don't ever change.

>>11665900
>Candlemaker's guild is pretty pissed about it, but whaddaya gonna do?
They could always go on strike. No candle mean no light. So instead of gloomy shadow it would be complete darkness.

>>11665889

You know all those retarded movies they make for different sports / urban dancing / ice skating?

I'd love to watch one based on brooding as a sport

I knew Elf Only Inn had a related comic or two...

>>11665923

So? Having you sit in darkness, your face only illuminated by the blood-red glow of your pipe is so goddamn brooding you'd be doing them a favour.

>>11665903
There's also sharpening sticks with the aforementioned dagger

Someone archive this shit

>>11665934

Eh, that's just a variant form of the dagger-sharpening. Pretty nice, but by no means groundbreaking. I tell you, brooding has reached thereotical perfection, all that is left is to organize and refine the practical application.

>>11665933
Dammit.
>>11665925
Brood Up.

>>11665492

Why is the trickster stereotype considered a bad choice? I'm sure a good player could pull one off that doesn't revolve around "screwing the group because I'm a trickster lolol"
Are there any other reasons this is considered a bad stereotype?

>>11665923
Complete darkness? At seven in the evening during the summer?

>>11665903
That's only because your system doesn't encourage originality. We could have hired brooding, new brooding poses, DIY home-brooding kits, custom eye-retraction kits,...
Right now, I'm researching a new type of dark-colored glasses that will hide your eyes completely!

Everybody wants to be the fucking true neutral anti-hero, I know, I know.

S'why I always play the chaotic neutral type berserk barbarian female who punches everything, just to liven up the place.

Grimdark Shadowblade; "You have comes seeking the sacred Chalice of Crimson Malice, have you not?"
Me; "...why is you wearing a hood? We is indoors, last time I checked, squire, it don't rain indoors."
Grimdark Shadowblade; "I wish to avoid... unwanted attentio-"
Me; "You is sittin' in the corner with your hood up, indoors, everyone in the room already thinks you is an idiot mate."

And yes, I know that is a terrible hoodie, but it's difficult to find an image of a female barbarian who doesn't dress like a slut.

The forgotten 4th medium of brooding taught only by the most ancient brooders: eating food off of your newly sharpened knife! This will add a sense of danger to your daily brooding and is sure to get attention!

>>11665979but it's difficult to find an image of a barbarian who doesn't dress like a slut.

show me a male barbarian who is not showing thigh and chest.

>>11665984
Or trimming your fingernails with it. That's a technique I've only seen once or twice. Rather advanced.

>>11665984

Also, wild spasming around and shooing everyone off while still not making any eye contact

>>11665961
>We could have hired brooding, new brooding poses, DIY home-brooding kits, custom eye-retraction kits,...
Back in my day all you needed to brood with the best of them was a dark cloak, a knife and some smokeables. Nowaday there's all this whoseamabobs and whatsits that take away the challenge. It's no longer about skill but about the tech. People these days don't even know the basics of pipe lighting technque any more due to self-lighting pipes

>>11665961
Wah-- What the fuck is this? DIY? What kind of fucking bullshit is this in... in...

I mean... You better watch where your mind be running, boy.

>>11666000

Nice get

>>11666006
Get with the times old man. You're just an outdated model. YOU DONT EVEN HAVE ANY STUBBLE

>>11665994

You got a point there squire.

Still, just because I'm a barbarian doesn't mean I can't take a little practicality into account, surely.

...even if I did try to beat a troll unconscious with my fists because I didn't have a blunt weapon and the reward for capturing it alive was double.

So, we have the three pillars of Brooding: Pipe, Hood, and Dagger. Without at least two of these, Brooding cannot take place. There are subsets, but thus far all other forms of brooding fall under the auspices of the Big Three. Is there another, secret pillar, so dark and brooding and mysterious that we have not thus far pierced its secrets? Or is it only a myth? Remember, back when the art of Brooding first started we had not yet discovered the pipe. Perhaps some other invention yet undiscovered can aid the Brooders.

>>11665961
>DIY home-brooding kits

I'm not even gonna mention the crime of giving away trade secrets.
But here, this is the mindset of the free-market proponents: Nevermind that these "DIY brooding kits" will lead every halfwit to thinking he can be an awesome brooder, massively decreasing overall brooding quality and damaging the craft itself -- but hey, there's money in it, so let's do it regardless of the consequences!

>new type of dark-colored glasses that will hide your eyes completely!

So? Even with those, do you think brooding will change? Will your "dark-colored glasses" enable someone to look dark and brooding in an empty plaza in the middle of the day? I don't think so, sir. Brooding will still take place in corners, in the shadow, under hoods and smoking pipes. As I said, the three pillars have been established, everything else is just cosmetics.

>>11665959 This. I think I don't fully understand the Trickster guy stereotype.

>>11666025
Showing off maximum amount of stubble?

>>11666013
Young whippersnapper. You think that just because you have a face full of stubble you know how to tell me how to brood. This gig is all about experience. Come back when yu can out-glare something bigger than a gnome

>>11666019
That is why you make your own armor out of patchwork pelts of the veracious large creatures you've beaten to death and skinned with your bare hands.

Nothing says shut up and listen like someone walking into town hearing the skull of a Dire Bear like a hat coated head to toe in dried blood.

>>11665188

Jay Mohr's Scottish bartender bit is foockin' greet.

Also, I one day want to make a character named Thorne Nightrise, who is actually a bookish timid nerd with a stutter.

How would I archive this thread on SupTG?

>>11665979
>female barbarian who doesn't dress like a slut.

That's like a knight who doesn't wear armor into battle. Barbarians being half-naked is like, a defining visual feature of the archetype. It's one of the distinguishing features that (visually) sets them apart from other fighters.

They're too batshit battle crazy to bother with shit like "armor."

So me and a bunch of my friends play gurps, but only one of us is awesome enough to be the Gm, anyways, he normally runs 2 sessions with us over skype, (he lives about 1 hour from us) so he actually drives over to do a game (we know him IRL, he just decided to go to a different university) anyways, we all show up, 10 of us for 1 session, way too many, the solution, He puts us in groups of three, and we make characters as a team. Then he gives us the split personality dis-ad. My character was the only lawful personality in the fucking room!!! Consider, 10 personalities, 9 people, and only I have any moral tendencies. My other two personalities were chaotic stupid, as well as true neutral, fucker took a mental dis-ad, he had to roll to see if he cared to do shit. Awesome oneshot, but dear god it was frustrating to make way on your character only to have it thrown out when it came to the next guy. Also sucked because traumatic memories and pain was what switched us, so the guy who did nothing tended to be in control WAY TOO MUCH

>Lawful Stupid (Pally/Cleric, upholds law instead of what's right)

A good DM would start drawing some moral/ethical lines in the plot so that the character would be conscious of what side they stand on and face repercussions for it. Not to punish the player, but to engage them.

>Dark Silent Douche (plenty of info in thread)
This is a character run by a player who is waiting for the GM to give him some personal motivation to become involved in the story. It's a cry for help, and a good GM will throw this guy a bone (IE you have been poisoned/your master is murdered/your family has been kidnapped)


>Chaotic Stupid ('It doesn't matter what I do, I'm chaotic neutral, i can do whatever I want with no reason')

Again, moral and ethical lines. Give this character a big decision to face and see how the player handles it. This sort of person is probably feeling left out.

>Mary Sue
This person needs to be shown that their character has flaws too, even if they don't know it. Set up a "you can't win" scenario where the character must do something to set things right afterwards, but DO NOT impose any mechanical penalties.

>That Guy
That Guy can find a new group.

>Prankster/Trickster (Kender Rogues)
Create situations where this is funny instead of annoying. I had my rogue declare that he was breaking into a house to rob it out of nowhere once, so I came up with some random challenges (how are you getting in, what are you looking for, etc). He climbed the roof, tried to climb down the chimney but fell, managed to avoid taking damage and landed in the fireplace, and a little tiny terrier walked up to him with its tail wagging. He tried to quiet it down by petting it but it began barking loudly, so he ran through the house and dove through a window to escape. Moments later he found out the front door was unlocked. The whole group, despite not being involved in the scene, were laughing their asses off.

This character can also come into their own when taken from such a lowly spot and given a personal quest of vast importance (Like Frodo, or what they tried to do with Snails in the original D&D movie except it sucked).

>>11666108

Image status: fukken save'd

>Thanks for your request.
>It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
>This thread has been requested 1 times now.

join in

>>11666152
Link?

>>11666025
A true master needs none of those. My great-grandfather, Abraham Blackraven, could reportedly do a great inconspicuous brooding act in the middle of the town square at broad daylight, while completely naked with no aids whatsoever!

>>11666162
http://4chanarchive.org/brchive/main.php?mode=submit

thread ID is 11665005

>>11666152

We don't need 4chan archive. We have both sup/tg/ and Easymodo.

>>11666174
Considering I've never archived a thread on suptg I couldn't find the request interface

feel free to point me there

>>11665925
this needs to be the next sports related will ferrell movie

>>11666124
I played one of my characters Lawful Stupid until recently where the DM posed a moral choice that made me choose between Lawful and Good. I chose Good and got the hint.

>>11666152

We use suptg here

>OP complains about dark brooding guys in his group
>General jests at those guys
>Someone mentions a RP tavern
>An idea of a no-brooding tavern
>The traits of quality brooding are established
>Brooding guild
>Badass creeds of the brooding guild
>In-character debate about brooding (aka. FUCKING META)

THIS IS WHY /tg/ IS THE BEST BOARD EVER

1d4chan needs an article on the art of dark brooding

>>11666171

People's expectations back then weren't as high. Nowadays they expect the full service. Sullenness and stubble will only get you so far without the props. Bit of a shame, really, because now people rely on the pipe rather than using it to complement an already great brood, but what're ya gonna do?

All this brooding reminds me that my characters don't fit into a freeform RP tavern. My latest character is the son of a surgeon and artificer, who learned medicine and eventually turned to the art of artifice and basically makes trinkets and magical items (rarely) for a living, but keeps a keen sense of his medical background.
Reinforced his skeleton with fucking metal and everything so he always walked and moved a bit 'off'. The benefits were grips that could autolock, reinforced bones and hydraulic springs in his legs so he jump and land great distances.

Now imagine him trying to hand out business cards for his Artifice Workshop to 8 different Darky McDarkbrood and being charismatic in order to push a sale. It just doesn't work!

>>11665795
If he can't write anymore, I think his daughter Rihina is still in the business.

Picture this, if you will: A perfectly circular tavern.

Cue all brooding wanderers going completely insane as they cannot find a corner to smoke in.

>>11666225

It has one for Crazy Hassan, why the fuck not for dark brooding?

>>11666248

Don't go shopping around. Just pitch it to the Brooder's Guild Head Brooder and he might here you out. These days he has so much paperwork and management to handle he barely has time to brood! It's criminal, it really is, such a great brood going to waste.

>>11666278
But he's a grandmaster brooder. He simply broods over the fact he has so much work to do, and broods WHILST doing his work.
Don't fucking underestimate how much he can brood.

>>11666269

>>11665391

Read the thread before you post

>>11666296
>But he's a grandmaster brooder.

Only in name in many cases. Say what you will, but office work will take your edge off - compare that to your field brooder with 30+ years of brooding experience, who still goes out there every evening and broods the living daylight out of a tavern. The most skilled brooders aren't the one they call "grandmasters", but the tiers just below. High enough to be respected, low enough to not be bothered with too much paperwork.

>>11666296

That's no way to brood and we both know it. Real brooding is done in a tavern with nothing to occupy your hands but the knife and nothing to occupy your thoughts but unspecified revenge. Sure, his work brood is fantastic but he's really in his element in a dark tavern corner. Just because you *can* brood anywhere doesn't mean you *should*.

I do wanderers, but not brooding types... I guess lonely, but not brooding wanderers whose past hangs over them like a fucking raincloud. Where brooding is popular, you must balance it with mere other emotions.

The way I have a current character set up is that he's just extremely shy and constantly alert for what people may do to him or against him. This offsets the "brooding wanderer" stereotype with a more interesting device which makes people wonder what's up, not only to watch them sit and smoke pipes.

Fucking smoke a cat every once and a while and a brooding character can look more interesting.

PS: Why hatred on drow? They're fun to play if you don't squeeze yourself into a stereotype.

>research radelf

>>11666269
They could try taking their own corners with them.

>>11666124

My DM is pretty good at these sorts of situations.

Recently, she managed to set up, without any of us seeing it coming, a little situation for my greedy rogue characters.

The party were trying to uncover a sacred relic from a tomb, we needed it to give it somebody who could utilize it to stop an impending invasion. Now, my character is a greedy, two-timing rogue, and whilst he liked the idea of the relic, which happened to be a giant flawless ruby the size of a hobbit's head, he was more interested in all the other treasures that could be found. Sure enough, during our dungeon crawl, the central chamber was full of gold coins, which my rogue gleefully rolled around in before trying to stuff as much as he could into he satchel. Now, when our party leader got too close to the relic's pedestal, the place started to collapse, which was bad. The platform we were one jutted suddenly to one side and we were all thrown to the edge of a precipice. Everyone had to roll to grab onto things they passed, and got multiple chances to do so, except for me and our healer. I only got one chance, right at the edge, which I passed with ease. Then, our healer went by, and we both had to roll, which we managed, and I ended up there, one hand on the cliff edge, the other holding our healer, who is a nice girl OOC too.

Then, the fucking ruby fell off its pedestal, and slide down across the rock, before eventually falling past me and the healer. Then, the DM gave me a choice. I could leave it up to the healer to catch it, but she had penalties for using one hand and for the situation, and the chance of her successfully catching the gem were slim. Or I could try and catch it myself, even with all the penalties, I could probably succeed, but it meant letting go of either the cliff edge or the healer to do so.

I had to choose between our healer, my greed, and the fate of possibly an entire nation.

>>11665500
I know its really late but . . .

You'll pay for this Captain Planet!

ITT: All synonyms of the word Dark are ruined forever

>>11666475

You say that now, but when you're climbing up the DarkGrim MountainFell of Bleak Unhappiness and Shadowpain, you'll regret those words.

>>11666500
Pfft, I live in Scarytown.

>>11666500

Man, I hate that place, it's kinda steep and it's all, like, gravel, so it's really hard on the feet.

Nice view when you get to the top though.

>>11666537

Yeah, well I live in Detroit. Beat that, GTVA Colossus.

>>11666582
I live in California.

For the retards who don't hang around /tg/ enough:

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/requestinterface.html

Link is at the bottom of the main archive page. Don't use 4chanarchive because that site sucks sweaty ass balls.

>>11666582
Badda Bom Tisch!

>>11666393
There ye go with yer dang hungdingits and ringpappas again! Taking a corner with you? Might as well just burn down all the taverns and make the knives twirl themselves... Ol' Jack Shade be rolling in his unmarked patch of dirt.

>>11666393

As soon as the corner is brought into the area, it morphs into something else, because the bartender is an infinity-tentacled spacial leech in human guise, who actually eats corners. Not the physical materials that make up the corner, mind you, but the concept and structure of a corner itself.

>>11666758
Maybe we could try an oval shape then.

Did anybody else read the OP's post and merely wonder why the cleric was so bent on attacking the goblins. It's not like combat is the most entertaining part of roleplaying. Fuck, it's just rolling dice and waiting for everything to die.

Think of it this way: you and your four friends are in a bar. While you're drinking, a bunch of Hell's Angels walk in, and these guys have been known to start bar fights around the area. Currently they don't seem interested in picking a fight with anybody, so you and your friends technically have the "initiative." Your four friends just keep drinking and ignore the call to pointless conflict. You get up and smash a chair over one of the biker's heads.

Now why are you, the initiator of a meaningless fight, the "smart" one whose having a good time? Maybe you're friends weren't brooding so much as they were not fucking interested in comparing dick sizes to the bikers.

>>11666845
It depends what they were camped out to do.

>>11665266
All dwarves are chaotic scottish. it's basic fantasy 101.

>>11666406
So how about a fucking ending?