With apologies, by the way, to the innocent bystanders in the paladin thread.

I'm not rolling for this because I keep getting bad rolls.

rolled 9 = 9

Luck? Come on Noblyan and Mitenun!

rolled 20 = 20

>>11893407

Nobylan and Mitenun protect.

rolled 3 = 3

Noblyan and Mitenun give us a 2nd chance!

>>11893434
:D

oh great, and on a grenade roll too.

>>11893434
Noblyan and Mitenun deliver.

>>11893434

... Gentlemen. Let's use this one, shall we?

>>11893430
Your throw is bad, but it is, after all, a grenade, and the thing behind you is at this point heedlessly charging. You hear the thud of the grenade exploding, and then a rapid meaty-sounding tumbling, as if someone were rolling a corpse down a hill.

Wait, crap, we want to roll LOW?

...Shit.

>>11893445
boy did they ever!

>>11893450
No, you just got beaten by a 9.

>>11893449

Take another peek over shoulder.

>>11893458

9 or 20, Nobylan and Mitenun protected. YEEAAAH

>>11893463
You and the others dare look behind you to see the creature still pursuing, now on all fours - it's wounded, but it's trying.

And Jesus Christ, it won't stop SCREAMING.

Shall we use up some ammo?

This monster's name is now The Screaming Weiner.

>>11893472

In Mortal Combat voice: FINISH HIM.

YOU POSTED THIS IN ANOTHER THREAD, HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

>>11893481
Your guys' call.

>>11893472
FFFFUUUU--
I say turn around and open up on it now.

rolled 1 = 1

>>11893472
"On 3 we fire!

One!
Two!
THREE!"

Turn, drop to one knee and unload everything we have into its fucking face. Hopefully the other 3 do the same.

>>11893472
Can we take some potshots at it while still running?

If so, do that, if not, yell for everyone to about face and gun it down.

UNLOAD ON IT, ALL OF US WITH OUR AKS. FUCKING FILL IT WITH BULLETS.

>>11893483
I suggest Samaritan, judging by its trap.

Finish it off, then drag the corpse back to Petrov.

"You won't believe it, sir, but look what we just found..."

>>11893458
find that fucker and shoot him in the head with a gun.
several times.

>>11893500
I like that name too but.... Can we put wiener in there somewhere? Just a lack of wiener in the Zone.

>>11893500
Putin won't care what we killed. Next time we're in the area we should give him a heads up though. Unless we're fairly close now, and we can just headback and tell him.

Assuming we survive of course.

But Noblyan and Mitenun will ensure we do

>>11893488

Are we far from the hanger?

Pop some rounds into him. Should take more than 5 bullets.

>>11893493
OH GOD DAMMIT

AND I'M THE SAME ONE WHO MADE US TRIP OVER A TWIG WHILE STABBING THAT DRUNKARD

>>11893493
It's a good thing I didn't prompt you to roll yet.

"Turn and fire, guys, on three!" you steel yourself, "one," you see Bird shoulder his carbine, "two," Damsel is swallowing past a lump in her throat, "three!"

The four of you spin with admirable cohesion and drop to one knee, opening up on the howling monstrosity.

Roll 4d20 to see how your shots go.

>>11893500
I second this, it's a good name for a monster.

rolled 4, 19, 20, 4 = 47

>>11893510
>lack of weiner
You idiot, we're traveling with the only woman in the zone! Trust me, there is NO lack of weiner!

also DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA

>>11893500
That name's better than what I was planning, thanks.

rolled 10, 17, 20, 3 = 50

>>11893522
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

>>11893522
Rollan

rolled 13, 17, 16, 15 = 61

>>11893522

rolled 17, 17, 17, 20 = 71

>>11893522

Nobylan and Mitenun PROTECT! (Or kill, in this case)

>>11893510
>>11893500
Samariweiner.

>>11893547
Jesus christ.

>>11893547

HAHAHAHA I LOVE OUR NEWFOUND DEITIES!

>>11893547
Nobylan and Mitenun, FUCK YEA

>>11893547
I wish these rolls counted.

>>11893564
For the climax of the night? I hope they do!

>>11893564

At least we have a Nat 20.

>>11893537
>>11893537
You see your slug fly off wildly, and have a moment to regret not loading buckshot just as the others open fire. Twitch is fastest to fire, and his AKS-74U draws a line of devastaton across the thing's favce and one of its arms; the beast screams in what you assume is agony, rearing up on two legs again just as Bird fires. His experience in the Zone shows, and his Burst catches the mutant in its already-ruined face. There's sudden, shocking silence - so shocking that Damsel's burst misses entirely, going wide of the mutant you are sure is finally, definitely dead.

"What...the fuck...was THAT?" Damsel gasps between deep lungfuls of air.

>>11893539
What WERE you going to call it, incidentally?

>>11893591
GO PROSPECTIN'

>>11893597
Siren.

Lootan!

>>11893591

"A mutant who decided to fuck with the wrong people. Let's check it. You guys cover me. Bird and I will play 'doctor' for a bit." *Walk up and see what's lootable.

f5f5f5f5f5f5f5

>>11893603
that's a decent name too, Samaratan sounds more badass though

>>11893591

Share a good stress reliving laugh. Then start checking out the body.

If the PDA can take photos. Lets photograph this thing.

I imagined it looking something like this. More of a smoother, elongated, human like head though, but not fully human, like a head made of silly putty. Too smooth and featureless.

>>11893603
Eh, I prefer samaritan. Sirens lure with looks/voices, not by pretending to be hurt.

Nobylan and Mitenun fuck yer

>>11893598
You and the others slowly approach the thing. Even now you're loathe to look at it; it almost stings, and the skin is still rippling, though slowing. Damsel gives it a long burst with her rifle, and the effect stops completely.

It's at least six and a half feet tall, and would be almost humanoid if not for the too-long arms, multi-joined legs, and face still full of far too many teeth. Your gorge rises as you realize that the stalker skin it was wearing was real; how could you EVER thing this thing was human?

How far are we from the Hangar? Can we drag the entire thing back there before dark?

>>11893631
Your first response is to use your PDA's camera to take a photo; you're not sure you can get the thing anywhere, and you're not sure you'd want to touch it for that long, anyway.

>>11893644
Probably, but you'd make it just as the night was getting dark; you're quite a ways away.

(Also, if you do that, we're leaving off in the hangar for the night.)

>>11893646
I've never played the games so I know dick, but if there's a system, try sending the pictures to Putin.

If not, take as many pictures as we can, different angles etc, including with the gang next to it for size reference.

And if we can't send the pictures or drag the entire body, remove the head. If it's psionic like it seemed, the brain seems like something to inspect further. We can carry a head much easier than a full body.

Also, EVERYONE RELOAD.

>>11893652

No; lets just head for Rostok. Let's (figuratively) skin this thin and get on with our travels.

>>11893652
Well fuck, I say we take it back to the Hanger then. This is something people need to know about if they don't already.

>>11893652
I say look for some kind of souvenir/potentially valuable loot off it (a la bloodsucker tentacles) then drag the thing off into some bushes and move on toward Rostok.

>>11893684

Set it on fire for good measure.

>>11893666

No. we go back to the trap.

He probably took a few poor bastards before we encountered him.

The dead have no need for their belongings.

Hanger time

Warn everyone of it. Grab the head, try and sell to freedom scientists.

>>11893701
Second.

EPIC LOOTZ AHOY!

>>11893701
I LIKE THIS.

Take lots of pictures. LOTS. Remove the head for trophy/study. Go back and check the status of it's trap. HEAD TO ROSTOK.

>>11893701
thirded

>>11893701
Risky, there could very well be more in the area. Most creatures don't hunt too far from others of their species.
I agree with scavenging from it, setting it on fire for good measure then moving the fuck on before it gets late.

I guess the masses have spoken. Let's drag this bastard corpse back to the hanger, stopping at the trap to check for loot.

Okay, we've established you want to take the head, but dammit guys, decide - hangar or Rostok.

As to its warren, I can save you time by telling you the only thing you'll find there is a jumpy feeling. These things try not to leave old kills around.

>>11893724
Nasties of that ilk usually run on their own in the Zone, though. When's the last time you saw a pair of Chimeras, or more than one Controller?

Besides, who knows how long it's been there? There could be some seriously crazy stuff there.

>>11893734
Drag the entire fucking thing back to the Hangar.

>>11893734
That makes sense.

If they're smart enouygh to set up that complex a trap, they're smart enough to hide some bloody corpses, or eat all of them.

Find it's dick, make Damsel fuck it and suck it....profit!

>>11893758
Take lots of pictures.

>>11893740

Dude, it's gonna start smelling. BAD. At least with a head we can put it on a stick and wave it around. I say Rostok, because we're heading that direction anyway.

Hangar, march!

HANGAR! Take the entire body for research. We already know Petrov there so things will be smoother for this discovery.

I vote Rostok; really, how much do we have to gain from Captain Putin any more?
Perhaps stash the thing somewhere and maybe bring it back to him on a wagon or wheelbarrow later?
But for now move on before it gets dark and shit gets real.

bring it to Putin for HIM to fuck

>>11893779

Voting for this. Staying outside when it's dark = BAD END.

>>11893779
We know Petrov. We take this back there, we get there before dark or just in time.

And since he knows and trusts us, even if just a little bit, he may be able to part with some firepower. We're out of grenades now, after all.

>>11893750

It even ate the guns....

"I don't want to try for Rostok tonight," you say, "not after this," the others nod. The idea of braving new, lonely woods does not appeal.

"Bird, help me cut the head off, and let's take it back to the hangar. Get a few more good shots, too."

"What about the body?" Damsel asks, though you know she knows the answer.

"We burn it."

It takes some time, but your group manages to seperate the thing's head; it makes you uncomfortable just TOUCHING it. The hike back to the hangar is utterly quiet but has totally lost any sense of pleasantness; by the time you get back, it's early evening and you've never been so glad to see a bunch of unbathed slavs squatting in a derelict building. You address one of the door guards, "Say, mind giving the captain a buzz? We have something that I think he'll want to see."

(and that, guys, is it for me tonight; I plan to run a session tomorrow if I can starting earlier (8 pm) again if possible; if things don't work out and you don't see the thread go up, though, don't worry - I'll either be on again later or on another day; feel free to comment/ask questions/etc.)

>>11893734

Lets just get it to rostok.

>>11893801
Or it tossed them. Or it buried them. You can look if you want to, guys, but it's gonna be next session.

>>11893801
THAT I have trouble believing. Feels like a helluva copout.

But yeah, let's get the bastard back to the Hangar-which is really more of a depot than anything. Maybe there'll be something good in it for us.

>>11893795
You make a decent point there, but we could easily run into those Duty fags again on the way back. Not a good situation there

>>11893802

Well, it's settled. How do you think the good Captain will react when we present to him stinky, mutant head?

>>11893809
Thanks bro you're doing a great job with this imo. Maybe ramp up the danger level a little in the future is all I could ask, make us make some sacrifices and shit.
Be back tomorrow!

>>11893828
See pic.
>>11893834
Noted, still tweaking the difficulty and mostly going with first rolls now. Still works, since you guys manage to think your way out of bad rolls.

>>11893847
God damn, Putin is so fucking intimidating.

All right, see you in the next session questmaster

guys, please archive these quests for awesome
there's 4 missing on suptg :(