>>12373973

"Ball Of Arms Man, thank God you're here!"
"Don't worry, citizen! Justice is at hand!"

I was once a barbarian in Iron Kingdoms who sunk all of my skill ranks into diplomacy and the ability to read.

I played a gentlemanly barbarian with the voice and personality of Teddy Roosevelt. I only raged if someone insulted king/queen or country (first and last foray into iron kingdoms, so I don't know if my country even had a king or queen).

A friend of mine played my indian manservant. He was a much more combat effective monk.

We had planned for his character to send my character into a rage by convincing my character that the enemy had called the king "a load of bollocks and an intensely wussy girly man, sir!" but I ended up triple-critting the BBEG when he showed up for ten seconds to gloat about how evil he was and ending the campaign.

I would suggest playing this kind of character to everyone.

I made a Pixie wizard in a level 6 3.5 game. I got murderized in the first round of combat

>>12373973

Oh god, I think I remember that thread. Just rolling around, absolutely terrifying criminals.

>>12374018

Barbarians are fun like that. Couldn't you have multiclassed? If you started as, say, a fighter or monk, you could have started with the ability to read.

Well, in 4th edition we had a group where the GM had given people giant pet dragons, supremely awesome artifacts, and plot armor out the ass as part of some prophecy thingy. Thing is, only one person from each race got to be part of this prophecy and the only option left was an elf.

Thus began my quest to crush this plotline once and for all. My GM said I could use a piece of literature as a backstory if I wanted so I handed him a copy of "The Shadow Over Innsmouth", just port the world to DnD and I was playing the direct descendant of Obed Marsh.

I refused any suggestions to return to my home town, had a crippling fear of deep water that the party could never break him of, and I convinced them all, within the first session that I was in fact immortal, by blowing up a mountain with me in it.

From there on he continued to be more effective than the people with brokenly useful artifacts (read: ring that causes people to fall asleep with no save or rolls of any kind) and dragons just because of how awesome his plans were

M&M, played a guy named Rugburn. He runs a carpet store and fell into the machinery while drinking Vanilla Coke mixed with Coke with Lime.

His power set was based around removing/adding friction. He had bad control over it and turned most fights into a bunch of people sliding around shooting beams at each other and spending a lot of the time slipping. We kept running into fliers, so I made sure my power removed the friction on air too.

The best part was when we were on a space shuttle that was crashing down to earth. The heat from descending so fast was building up, so he decided to remove all friction on the shuttle on his turn before anyone could stop him. The result? We plummet to Earth MUCH faster and very quickly hit the bottom of the ocean.

There was one survivor

Once made a monk who was addicted to meditation like it a narcotic. Had some pretty amusing roleplaying a few times but just got bored of him and eventually had him "OD" on meditation and rerolled.

>>12374108

Monks that use meditation like heroin? Sounds fun.

Friends wanted to do an all dwarf DnD party. I don't like dorfs, but I played a long. A vicious dwarf rapist was born, and eventually lead his fellow dorfs down some dark paths before we all got eaten by wolves after the GM got sick of our bullshit

>>12373973
I remember the original thread for this.

A manifestation from the Elemental Plane of Arms.

Once ran a game where we were all NPCs and had NPC classes - Expert, Warrior, Adept etc.

>>12374248

He was a pretty handy hero to have around.

>>12374274
/groan

Only played one Joke Character. Was a Pathfinder game and played a Warhammer Inquistitor. Killed all the Xeno Scum...Which was everyone as I was the only person who Rolled Human. Everyone else was Mary Sue Elves, Lizardmen and Heretics.

I was happy that I rolled this character after I I saw this. I constantly preached that they should subject themselves to me in hopes of being redeemed. After two sessions I killed them all off because I had built my character to be broken.

>>12374274
360 degrees of punch

I had an entire party like this in a Mutants and Masterminds game once. It was conceived when one of my players wanted to be Hitler.

Mecha-Mussolini: Half-man, half steam train, he could manipulate time and run incredibly fast.

The Iron Horse of the People: Josef Stalin, gifted with the extraordinary ability to turn into a giant iron horse. Super strong, inexhaustible, and capable of breathing fire.

Hard Hittin' Hitler: A former German painter-turned-crimefighter, he's a gritty pulp hero, always willing to save the dame or crack a joke.

The Mystical Quisling: A wizard from the far North, his mystic might could bring snow and frost down upon his foes.

'Lightning' Tojo: Gifted with the powers of electricity, he's out to fight for justice and the Japanese way of life.

This was one of the best games of Mutants and Masterminds I ever ran, even though I felt terrible after some of the scenarios.

A half-orc paladin of Pelor named Gornog. His back story involved losing a bet, which forced him to undertake a quest to prove himself, becoming a genuinely good person along the way. I figured he'd last a couple sessions, then I'd pull out something normal later.
We ran him from 1 to 30. He unthroned kings and challenged gods. In the last session, he was making Captain America style speeches against the BBEG about good always triumphing over evil so long as good men are willing to fight.
'twas epic.

Gentleman in M&M I made the motherfucking cliffracers. They duplicate into 2.5 million copies in one turn. Couldn't harm you too well, so their whole purpose was to annoy you.

>Ball of Arms Man

And not "Man at Arms"? I am disappoint /tg/.

>>12374412

Let's not point fingers.

It started as a joke. Badash, CG favored soul of Kord. And he was an Ork. Not an orc but an ork. 'e wuz da biggest and choppiest of dem all. And 'e wuz blezzed by da biggest god of dem all. 'e lead a mighty waaaagh of gobbos an' umies what 'e convertified ta da big boss in da sky. Sing'n 'is battle song wut gave 'im power. "Kill'n and fight'n, fight'n and kill'n ... for Kord!"

That and other shenanigans are why I'm soft-banned from taking leadership feats.

>>12374430
Lay a hand on him like that again, and there's gonna be trouble.

>>12374442

Let's not get distracted. Just pull your finger out, knuckle down and get back to the matter at hand.

>>12374442

Go on, gentlemen. I find this most humerus.

>>12374456
>>12374456
>>12374442
>>12374430
guys, you're getting a little out of hand.

>>12373973

I remember him. Wasn't his nemesis The Disarmer? A scientist who lost his arms when the portal to the Dimension of Arms opened up and BOAM came out, but got the telekinetic ability to control other arms?

Ah I remember my character Kruck "Sunshine" the gay half-orc barbarian. It started as a joke from character creation when I asked the DM if it would be possible to just be straight orc. Result:
DM: "Gee, I dont know, If that's what you want to be sure but I'm not about to tell you what your character's sexual preference is"

Bad choice of words considering I meant if I could play a full-blooded orc. Many luls were had. But the joke didn't end there. I remember our party being questions or something by guards and Kruck stepped up to intimidate the guards. Something along the lines "Oh the things I'd do to you behind closed doors little humans..."

But the best scenario I remember was when he had a hidden suggestion to kill a female NPC that partied up with us briefly. While we were exploring this ruined building the female NPC disappeared with one of the other PCs (a paladin) and when they were alone she had seduced him into getting down and dirty. Kruck, no where near them, was compelled to search for the woman to try and kill her. After finding her and the paladin in the middle of coitus he nearly flew into a rage to attack her while she was naked and vulnerable. However, because the party was completely unaware of Kruck's hidden suggestion to kill her, it was assumed Kruck was just pissed she was getting some from one of the male PCs and he wasn't.

Hilarious character, would play again

>>12374356
Mecha-Mussolini killed me.

>>12374523

Hah. That's always fun. I once ran a Shadowrun troll explosives specialist called Montecore like that - his main passions were dance, fashion and heavy artillery. Ridiculous strength and body, used a heavy machine gun as a sidearm, laughed off gunshots and had a thing for elves.

I was tempted to take Elf Poseur for him, but for some reason you can't take it if you're a Troll. Which is a shame.

ME ELF. ME DAINTY. POINTY EARS, SEE?

>>12374356

Surely Quisling should have been a shapeshifter or a mimic?

It wasn't so much a character but a NPC monster I was generating. An angel, for Adeptus Evangelion. Maximum power level, to see just how far I could break things.

To be honest, the angel I was generating was pretty shit. It was just a GIGANTIC swarm with pretty horrible stats. Its only good stat was BS, but even though it was a ranged angel, I generated *NOTHING* for it but AT powers. I was getting pretty annoyed.

I began to roll for special abilities.
First ability I got was "Penetrating Shot". Would be cool, but I had NO FUCKING RANGED WEAPON.
Second ability I got was "Volley". Yet another ranged weapon improving ability. Completely fucking useless. I was throwing my arms up in the air and despairing.
Finally, I rolled the last special ability - and you cannot imagine the size of my shit-eating grin.
"Positron Cannon".

"The Angel may fire a (1d10+5)*10 dm; 3d10 E; Pen 10 Positron Beam with the 'Recharge' special quality as a Full Action."

So. Allow me to add on the two other special abilities I got to that.

Volley: "The angel chooses a ranged attack in its possession. This attack may now be fired full auto with a rate of S/-/6."
Penetrating Shot: "The Angel chooses a ranged attack in its possession. This attack now possesses the Accurate special quality and will always deal 1 point of critical damage to the location it hits, even if it fails to damage the body part otherwise."

The resulting weapon:
Positron Hexacannon (3d10 E; pen 10; 110dm; Recharge; Accurate; S/-/6; Always inflicts 1 critical damage)

I ended up calling the angel "Maniramiel".

It is made up of millions of tiny, tiny Ramiels and they are all awesome.

>>12374471
>>12374455
I swear, there is a knuckle sandwich in the making

>>12374605
I bite my thumb at you sir!

>>12374612
Now now, no need to get up in arms about this.

>>12374706
I... I don't know anymore puns ;_;
This is, hands down, the worst day in my life.

A solar powered cheerleader.

At day and outside? A fucking badass who can barely be killed (true enough; all but the most grievous wounds would be fully healed in five minutes or less).

At night or away from the sun otherwise? A teenage girl with some martial arts training and some cheerleading skills.

>>12374775
Chipper up, I'm sure we can lend a hand to you.

Why was it worthless to have more than 1 point into aditional limbs? I'm actually making BAM in a M&M game I'm playing it it seems pretty legit so far. He's a disarming ball or grapple.

>>12374781
What about at day in the shade on in buildings? Could she be defeated by a villain with a giant novelty umbrella?

>>12374853
Archvillian must have been the Penguin

>>12374817

1 rank gives you the Improved Grapple feat, even if it's an extra leg. A second, third etc rank doesn't give you anything other than that.

A bard, his name is Sue. He's looking for his father so that he may kill him.

>>12374853

You'd have to take her inside a building to the point there's an absence of sunlight or block out the sun with something solid; clouds and, say, carrying an umbrella don't count, while being completely blocked from the sun (inside a basement, inside a room with no windows, etc) does.

>>12374885
more points give you more arms. And improved grapple doesn't give you a +4 like in d20, it allows you to grapple with only one hand. With max ranks or whatever you can grapple 2.5 million people at once. Thats why I make sure I'm a large creature.

>>12375191

Except you wouldn't be without putting some points in Growth. If every point went into Additional Limbs, you'd be Medium.

>>12375210
At least he'll be handy in a fight.

>>12375210
yep. I think thats like... 24 points or something? Plus I need like a 40 strength and I'm toying around with taking the detachable limb power, but its not exactly what I'm looking for...

So I have a friend. We need to get him a shirt that says "I'll go there" on the front and "I went there" on the back.

Anyways!

He rolled a Grenlock fighter once. However, he REALLY wanted to prestige into Dwarven Defender, so without getting the okay from me first, he merely decided his Grenlock really, really wanted to be/occasionally thought he was a dwarf. This amounted to drinking lots of ale, a glued on beard at one point, and yelling "I'M A DWARF" a lot.

If you didn't know, Grenlocks have no eyes. He found this unfortunate, because he *knew* dwarves had eyes. His solution? Attaching googly eyes on springs. Unfortunately, he couldn't actually see, so when he started wearing a full helm, it never occured to him that he should take the eyes off first. The result? A quiet 'ping ping' every step he took.

Man that was a great character.

Joke characters? I've got one.

I once played a game of D 3.0 under one of my usual players (he wanted to try his hand at running a game) and he wanted me to choose a class BEFORE rolling abilities and (AND) he wanted me to keep the scores I rolled (3d6) as I rolled them in the order listed on the character sheet.

I chose wizard, and ended up with an INT score of 10...
my charisma score, however, was a 17.

I kept the character and spent most of my sessions trying to convince people I was a great and powerful wizard when I actually wasn't; and it worked!

I kept passing my bluff checks, and nobody (not even my party) suspected I was actually horrible at being a wizard. This went on for about 3 levels before I died trying to convince a hunting party consisting of wild elves that I could "blow them all up". I was stabbed to death by spears.

One of the funnest characters I ever played.

Not my character, per se, but I was involved in some of his shenanigans. The guy played a half-orc barbarian in 3.5 who, despite having 6 int, thought he was the cleverest motherfucker this side of gorkamorka because he tried to macguyver everything, often with hillarious/disasterous results. To him, anything that exploded even VAGUELY in the direction of the enemy was a massive success.

Anyway, my character ended up getting pulled into his shenanigans once (dwarven gutbuster in spiky full plate mail who killed shit by hugging it to death and body slamming it against any solid surface). GM has a rule that if you roll 10 natural 1's in a row, your weapon breaks. Sure enough, krunk ends up having the head of his warhammer fly off into someone's window right as we're getting besieged by a bunch of zombies.

In all his 6-int glory, the first thing he thinks of doing is grabbing a 30-foot rope out of his pack, grabbing me, tying my arms together, then proceeding to use me as a giant, meaty flail. The GM, never one to pass up rule of cool, tells us both to roll for our attacks. Krunk's 22 strength combined with both of us rolling natural 20's basically equated to a pissed off ork waving a giant ball of angry, armored dwarf around, and cleaving down a fuckton of zombies in one blow.

>>12373973
Hecatonchire.
A hundred hands full of swords.
http://tripatlas.com/Hecatonchires
I remember seeing stats somewhere for this creature in AD&D..
And yes, it has 100 attacks.

http://www.d20srd.org/srd/epic/monsters/abomination.htm#hecatoncheires

And I found the stats.
(sorry for double posting)

In DH myself and a friend made a pair of American indian psyker twins. Their mission was just to brake the game and make life dificult for everyone to the point where no one would play anymore.

Cue summoning animals at inapropriate moments, brainwashing (PC's and NPC's), looking into the future, etc, etc.

Lasted about 2 sessions, don't play DH anymore.

Everthing turned out better than expected.

The legendary Mister Bombardini, child-eating vampire created to troll a group of wish-fulfillment Vampire: The Requiem players.

He was a magnificent bastard, and his full tale is too long for this thread. He lives on in the /tg/ archives, however.

>>12375912
You were from Ankh-Morpork right?

>>12376615
Then you much post links

>>12376625
Second.

>>12374356
Hard Hittin' Hitler: I FLIPPED when I saw my gas bill last month.

"Someone's taken all the school's JUICE!"
Hard Hittin' Hitler: I don't like Juice anyway. Good riddance I say.

Uh... Nignog McFly. Half-Ogre Barbarian. Pretty much Tordek from 3.5, with a different name. It was a last minute thing, so i just grabbed him and came up with a name and went.

turns out nignog ate his own shit, had a prison record, and, when I lost his file, fell to his demise in a pit of acid dug for the yearly acid festival.

nignog was a silly man.

>>12374787
Indeed, you won't have to shoulder the burden yourself, we will lend a hand, so use some elbow grease, and we will be able to stop this punishment.

>>12376716
>>12375229
>>12374787
>>12374775
>>12374706
>>12374612
>>12374605
>>12374471
>>12374456
>>12374455
>>12374442
>>12374430
>>12374274

oh you guys

My friend and I asked (sort of seriously) the DM if we could play two goblins standing on each other's shoulders as a single Ranger or Rogue. He would get the Reflex Saves, I'd get the Fort Saves, and we'd split the Will saves. We'd wear a trench coat to hide our Goblinoid ness, and split off to cause mischief at opportune times. He shot us down.

I think the turning point was when my friend asked if he could play a sentient boar.

"You're just fucking with me now!"
"No! The boars have music. Dancing. Love!"

He left the room to cry in his car.

Joke character? Sure, I have one.

D&D 3.5... I built a female Human Monk - described merely as "a skinny, young, beautiful woman with short flaxen hair" - with a bunch of feats from other source books and Dragon Magazines. One of them was 'Ring the Golden Bell', a feat that lets me take unarmed attacks at range...
...so I got to thinking about other things. "Monks can attack with any part of their body"... and "they can channel all their normal touch attacks this way". So I screwed around and I worked on the character, made her a savvy young beggar girl with somewhat unnatural talents; high DEX, WIS and CHA - every other stat was abysmal. Barely any STR because she hardly had anything to eat, poor CON thanks to living out her days in the alleys, and low INT because stealing and using her feminine wiles are all she knew.

Her whole shtick was basically using stuns or monk special attacks in conjunction with simple things like chest puffs and hip swaggers to paralyze her foes to subdue or steal from them.
"Stunning Fist"? No, "Stunning Beauty".
"Quivering Palm"? Make that "If Looks Could Kill".
"Rapid Stunning"? "Twice In A Lifetime".

It went from a joke character to a feasible concept. Pic related; the image I based her off of.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/11950118/

Bombardini is about halfway down. It's pretty damn entertaining.

>>12376618
>Google "Ankh-Morpork"
>Read the wiki description
>originalideadontsteal.jpg

This would have been a great place to set a campaign for that character but alas it was the default campaign setting.

>>12374478

His other nemesis was the Armada.

When BAM was sucked through from the Elemental Plane of Arms, it also opened up portals to that bizarre plane at various points throughout the galaxy. Without BAM's new-found heroism and appreciation for humanity, massive swarms of arms are coming towards Earth to take him back where he belongs. And nothing's going to get in their way.

I made a Galka in FFXI and chose the smallest Galkan model. I named him Smallka and had him sell primarily shoes at the AH.

>>12376962
You are now aware that using rules-as-written regarding monks' "attack with any bodypart" and "subdual damage can be lethal" traits...

...a monk could legally dry-hump you to death.

>>12377634
Why just dry hump?

>>12377673
because getting naked and penetrating someone is difficult as hell mid-combat.

Not to mention the fact the monk might be female, or the opponent might not have compatible genitals for true intercourse.

>>12377721
Disrobing, for a monk, would probably be something like a full-round action at best. Or it could take as long as it would take to wield a weapon, if it's just whipping it out.

And sure, if they're a female monk there's no reason to hump, but why let a lack of genitals stop you? Cockslap that golem into submission.

>>12377721
Exxxalted's Swallowing Darkness Style would like to dispute that.

>>12377766
>cockslap
>female

DILDOCHUCKS!

>>12377834
I phrased that oddly. I meant why would a male monk let a lack of genitals stop his own erectile assault?

But what was taken from it is better.

>>12376962

I'm making a similiar concept right now, using the Chainmail Bikini book from EN.

Stop laughing. Its well written, and hilarious.

Specifically, an unarmed swordsage going onto bolojuitsu striptease. This is a class all about wearing bolas wrapped around your arms and stuff, ripping them off in combat, and throwing them on people. Remmember the picker of Hennet, the Super-Buckle sorceror in the player's handbook? Like that, except with jackie-chan monk shit thrown in.

Then I found out a way to make him on fire all the time, and get morale bonuses for being awesome while on fire - its a psionic feat. You know NBA Jam or the Madden games? When you're doing really well, and your announcer suddenly says 'He's on FIRE' and you get unlimited turbo?

Well, its a psi-feat. So i figure i need a psionic race. Blam, our stripper dude's now from athas, because it gives our tall blond surfer stripper the ultimate tan.

.....Needless to say, Desert Wind is now involved.

tldr; i'm making a flaming(in -every- sense of the word) tall blond surfer stripper who throws leather bits at people in combat, making everyone fall over at his performance.

>>12378373

>>12380201

that is the best face. Thank you.

>>12374471
>>12374456
>>12374455
>>12374442
>>12374430
>>12374412
>>12374274
>>12374013

Is there a manual or something for making puns like this?

>>12380569
You mean like a handbook?

>>12380583
>>12380569

I have a Sidereal in Exalted with the Worst Temperance Vice ever.

Puns.

To make it worse, his name was Sacre Cyrano, and at one point, I ended up writing smut with him just so I could say "Sacre Blew."

Picture related, that's the punster being punished with a punch there.

>>12374550
... Mecha Mussolini killed Baron Munchausen?

THAT HEARTLESS, HUMOURLESS BASTARD!

>>12374356

You know this now demands explanation, or at least a story.

In D&D 4.0, I made a Warforged druid who shapeshifted into a velociraptor. I named him Dinotron. He lived by a strict code of honor and carried a lance.

The shifter rogue in the party proceeded to actually write down 107 different dinosaur-related gags and use them throughout the campaign.

I was once drafted into a game I didn't feel like playing, so I made a very stereotypical Half-Orc Barbarian.

Then, at level 2, I multi-classed into Wizard and never took a level in Barbarian again. It was all perfectly in-character, too. The poor guy loved Wizards so much he wanted nothing more than to become one himself. His INT penalty stopped him from ever doing anything Wizard-like, so he just threw rocks while yelling "Magic Missile!"

I was the only one who thought it was funny, but I had more fun than the rest of the group combined.

>>12383874

You sir are awesome. Just make sure that if you have to die, you go out like a man. With Honor.

>>12383912

I can't die. . . 'cauze the DM removed me from the group due to the character being a huge ripoff.

>>12383926

LAME!

>>12383926
Your DM should be punched in the balls.

>>12373973
3.5 DnD, the game didn't look like it had much hope of lasting long (though we did manage like 5-6 sessions) due to really shitty plot and a few dickish players, but I figured I would give it a shot.

The character?
Half-blue dragon kobold barbarian/spellthief/soul eater with a longspear.

I have no idea where I was going with that one.

>>12384000

This.

If a DM doesn't allow homages to one of the better characters of all time, what next?

For a nWoD Mortals game set basically within a reality TV show that goes to shit due to the influence of a true fae, I rolled up Bernard Apis, MASTER OF BEES.

Now, many people tell me at this point that yes, supernaturals have many magics that allow them to control and influence bees effectively, or say, in the case of the defense swarm, just shoot them as a direct attack. But Bernard Apis didn't do that, no. He just rolled his ridiculous dicepool of Presence + Animal Ken (With multiple specialties) to, as I stated "Dance a bee dance to direct the bees towards his foes".

Now as a starting condition everyone was allowed two items within their resource dots to bring with them. Being that these were people on the set of a reality TV show, the people and the items they brought were pretty crazy.

We had a medieval reenactment girl with her sword and chainmail, NotSteven NotHawking with a laptop and electric wheelchair, etc. Bernard Apis took a heavy duty beekeeper suit and a netgun. He would never take this suit off for the duration of the campaign.

Bernard Apis was a quite fellow, who spoke a little like Batman from the reboot of the series, with the exception of every sentence that came out his mouth containing at least one bee related pun.

He became sufficiently infamous that a backstory was created: He was sent as a kind of knight errant into male dominated mainstream society by a community of people who were essentially bee-amish. His mission? To find out where the bees were disappearing to.

>>12384475
The TV show had just been a way for him to gather money and publicity on his way to his goal. But he would reach it sooner than he thought, when he accidentally rolled 8 successes to "summon the bees to my location" adjacent to an immense, open hedgegate. The true fae that had come out looked over his shoulder, swore, and teleported away.

We stared off into the distance of that alien world, and saw what appeared to be a single bee. By its size it looked to be just beyond the threshhold, but it seemed to move in sync with our vision. It was then that the techie used a laser rangefinder on it.

The bee was 20 kilometres away, and had a real size of approximately 100 metres in length. And it was flying towards us with haste.

Now Bernard had up to this point been a hell of a bro, and given the prevalence of animal level intelligence supernaturals in the campaign, his animal ken shenanigans were useful as hell. He was also quite physically tough too, even if his primary means of actually dishing out hurt was bees and netguns (Which were not so great against some of the things we encountered such as insane prommies). But I've been thinking he may not be far off flipping his shit and sacrificing everyone to Beethulu at this point.

OP is a faggot. You didn't make up Ball of Arms man, there is an archived thread of its conception from a different source about stupid character ideas your players tried.

>>12384496
>Beethulu
The flowers are right! He will come out of the hive r'yle j'ely and devourer this world! The pollen it calls to you!

>>12384496
oh man.. anti climax. I imagined everyone seeing a single bee hovering just there, but they soon realise its actually a SHIT TON of bees 20 kilometers away.

Bump for funny characters.