>>13013334
> "NO IT'S QUITE ALRIGHT. SOMETIMES WHEN MY HISTORY IS BORING I SLIP THEM A FIVER TO MAKE IT MORE FUN."
And this is why I love dreadnoughts and /tg/.

. . .no surfing?

>>13013334
good show kind sr

you deserve some kind of medal for Redundant Humor, that was great

Should this derail into a Grandpa Dreadnought thread: I have a fine assload of Mario fanfic ready. You know which one.

Sir Griswolrfu is a Paladin of Tyr, who is just a god.

Sir Griswolrfu
"Griswolyruf."
I'm sorry?
"It's Griswolyruf."
Oh, terribly sorry. Sir Gruswolruf
"Griswolyruf."
Yes, well what is it like being a Paladin?
"It is a wonderful duty to my god and my people, protecting those who cannot protect themselves from evil and tyranny."
So you don't protect those who can protect themselves?
"They don't need protection."
Well, yes, but there are degrees of protection. Say, I could protect myself from a thief with a knife
"No you couldn't"
but if three theives with knives came up, I couldn't protect myself. So it is judged on a case by case basis, or just anyone who can't protect themselves from anything?
"It is merely discharging my duty to my god and my people."
But what about the flu? Are you obliged to protect people from the flu, since no one can protect themselves from that.

Tyr is known as the even handed god, and Gruswulfer does his odd jobs, so it works out quite well. Gryswilfur's home base is in this church, in the roof just beneath the ceiling. There he spends his days meditating and doing other things, sometimes even both, if not all three at once.

Sir Grythwurlf
"Griswolyruf."
Gr- yes. Why did you decide to follow Tyr, if he is known as the 'just a god', when you could f-
"I'm sorry?"
Come again?
"He is the Just god, not just a god."
Oh. As in he is the god of things that only just work?
"What?"
You know, like, 'We only just made it' when you nearly miss the train.
"No, the Just god, as in Justice."
He's the god of just us?
"No, JUST-ICE."
Oh yes right, I see.

Tyr, being the god of just the letter S, seems like an odd choice for a Paladin to follow, but Grilthfulth seems content in his choice, which is good because otherwise he would not be.

>"NO IT'S QUITE ALRIGHT. SOMETIMES WHEN MY HISTORY IS BORING I SLIP THEM A FIVER TO MAKE IT MORE FUN."
And then....
And then you tore off the Farseer's armor. "FOUL WITCH," you said, "YOUR SORCERCIES SHALL NO MORE TAINT THE EMPEROR'S DOMINION, YOU SHALL BE PURGED BY ME." With a single motion you tore off the Farseer's armor, exposing her fullsome breasts...

>>13013423

And then, Ultramarines joined the battle on our side, and...
And...

And then you yelled: "ROBOUTE GUILLIMAN IS NOT MY SPIRITUAL LIEGE", ripped off an Ultramarine banner and wiped your groinplate with it.

You're one of the Mechwarriors of Clan Wolf, correct?
"Aff."
Bless you. What is it like, being a mechwarrior, I mean?
"Well, it is quite intimidating at first. You have the weight of your genes pressing down upon you-"
Oh dear
"and the expectations of all your clan and your house, within which you must uphold the traditions and the pride of your sibko."
Your sikbo?
"Sibko, do you know your sibko, quaff?"
I'm afraid I don't know what a sibko is.
"Your family unit."
Oh, well it's just me and my wife at the moment.
"Then that would be your s- you are married, quaff?"
Well, yes.
"Seriously?"

As a Mechwarrior, Gustaff has a lot of expectations on him. He is expected to pilot machines weighing sometimes more than seventy tons into battle. They can be armed with anything from extended range lasers to ultra autocannons, to anything in between and even things that aren't. Thankfully they often don't have nearly half that, let alone all of it.

How do you feel about the other clans?
"There is a long history of rivalry between us, but currently we are united under a banner of conquest! It shall be glorious when our metal foot stomps down upon Terra herself!"
Yes I suppose the feet are quite heavy.
"It shall be an event to behold, our victory march with the screams of Freebirths ringing in our ears!"
Yes, I quite like that song myself.

>>13013502

As well as Mechwarriors, the clans also have other soldiers, such as their pilots and elementals. Elementals are very large and intimidating and thankfully none were available to speak with, whereas Pilots are smaller than Elementals and Mechwarriors put together, and even smaller than them both put together individually. We had a chance to speak with one of their pilots, a young woman named Yvette.

Thank you for speaking with us, are you sure you don't want to put something more on first?
"Neg. This is the traditional battle attire of the pilots of Clan Wolf. I am clad as such so your viewers may see me as a true warrior."
Yes.
"You shall see the entirity of my warrior soul."
We can see most of it at the moment.
"Plus it gets very hot in here, the air conditioning is not working."
So I can see.
"Still, it can get even hotter in the cockpit, even in this little clothing."
Really, do tell us.
"Once in battle I had to remove all my clothes bar my cooling vest to avoid passing out."
That's... that's nice.
"You are not listening are you, quaff?"
How interesting.

Oh god.
I think I read this part
>Malchazor is very large, although he is smaller inside the large armour than he was when he was large inside the smaller armour he used to wear as a Space Marine
5 times before I actually understood what was written.
Then I read the whole thing and now I can't stop laughing.

Good show

>>13013502
>>13013415
>>13013334


Sounds cool... but can they see what gives Cinnamon Toast Crunch it's intense cinnamon taste?

Glad people enjoyed it.

I was going to write more, but I am currently bone tired. The style was based on this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SwECTyXaA4

Feel free to write your own.

>>13013566

I loved this thread, make more some time. This'll go down in the annals of /tg/.

>"NO IT'S QUITE ALRIGHT. SOMETIMES WHEN MY HISTORY IS BORING I SLIP THEM A FIVER TO MAKE IT MORE FUN."

>Tyr, being the god of just the letter S, seems like an odd choice for a Paladin to follow, but Grilthfulth seems content in his choice, which is good because otherwise he would not be.
This line is great