A small leather ball that always rolls north.

A belt that fits perfectly, but only if you don't need it.

An egg that, when placed on a flat surface, stands upright and spins counterclockwise.

A monocle that reverses the wearer's speech.

a device that opens all electronically powered datalocks.
in a fantasy setting

>>13027252
>>13027266
It's like my own personal Underdark exploration kit.

A single-use wand of Inflict Miniscule Wounds.

A hat that glows like a candle, but only in direct sunlight.

A cellphone which can ring with any song ever made by humans, but only for 10 second. You have to spell the artist and the song into the phone.

and you just know that the players will use the one useless item you gave them to defeat the BBEG just as things look grimmest

>>13027266
That doesn't strike me as useless in any way tbh.

A stone that is constantly 100 degrees Celsius.

Was made by a wizard who got sick and fucking tired of having to light a fire or burn a spell slot to make a goddamn cup of tea.

>>13027266

That is incredibly useful you dolt.

A corset that hides the fact that you have breasts if you don't cover it with another piece of clothing.

A staff charged with the Random Spell Generator. Are you manly enough to use it?

A wallet that, whenever opened, spawns 1d8 moths.

A wand of create wand (create wand).

One charge.

>>13027317
You bet your sweet chaotic spell slots I am!

a watch that never needs winding but whose seconds are perpetually just a little bit too long, so it's never on time.

a gun that can turn into panties

a pair of swords that can turn into stockings

A shirt that glows bright pink if someone within 30 ft thinks you are a douchebag.

A bottle that leaks without emptying.

A cursed belt of goblin kind, when worn, change race to Goblin. All armor and weapons on said person remain full size.

A ball that always hits the tosser in the head when tossed

A quill which never needs to be re-inked.

>>13027334
Oh, you.

A tuning fork that, when struck, produces a middle C from a random instrument.

A bell that, when you ring it, causes all the water within fifteen feet to flow towards you.

A fork that one can never remove from their hands when held.

>>13027371
>>13027378
forkmind

A pizza cutter that leaves you with nine slices, each an eighth of the pizza in size, when used.

A pair of gloves that reverse handedness when worn.

A magical gem that glows when it detects Mexico.

>>13027392
a bot that links any two posts in the same thread with the same object as hivemind

OPs socks will always be glowing.
SPIDERS ARE ALWAYS NEARBY

A hat that causes everyone that sees the wearer to think said wearer is a pretty cool guy, but won't make them any more likely to do what you want or help you.

A never-ending can of beer. After three days it's fairly flat and stale, though.

A cosmically uninteresting object.

No matter how hard anyone looks at it, they will never remember what it looks like.

A small metal box that, when opened, shouts the answer to a question that someone, somewhere in the world just asked.

Shield of Sonic Protection

+2 AC vs medium sized hedgehogs.

A truly immovable ro*CLANG*

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

>>13027418
Invent chemistry.
Distill alcohol from beer.
INFINITE FUEL.

>>13027422
>kill everyone
>box of infinite answers

A fish hook which causes all fish attached to it to become musically capable, followed by a short dance number, then the death of the fish.

A box of food that never empties, but if anybody in the group is hungry the food goes rotten until they are not.

A small metal cage containing a floating eyes. It constantly stares at the most evil person it can see.

>>13027464

That actually works out fine, they just eat BEFORE they get hungry.

>>13027306
>>13027318
>>13027323
>>13027343
>>13027364
>>13027397
>>13027418
>>13027464

If you can't think of a way to destroy everything using these then you don't belong on this board.

A suit of spleen armor.

That is armor made of spleens that would fit around a spleen. Yes, this means you'd have to have surgery to wear it.

A pendant of stealth which gives a +5 to all hide checks, then flashes brightly and plays an uplifting "success" chime when the wearer successfully passes undetected.

>>13027306
Throw into the ocean. Steam everything to death.

>>13027318
Summon an undead and tell it to keep opening and closing the wallet forever. Infinite moths.

>>13027323
Keep using it. Endless wood.

>>13027397
Use on one of the pizza slices. Endless pizza.

A magic boomerang that always comes back. All the edges are sharpened enough to go through any armor, causing it to decapitate the user every time.

Goggles that tell you how much money you have in your bank account.

>>13027542
I thought your name was Acererak Realty

>This is my seventh dungeon, and Acererak Realty always finds me an amazing deal.
>When we reanimated our ancestors and decided to sell the empty crypt, Acererak Realty got us double the asking price!

>>13027323
FREE FIREWOOD WOO!

>>13027306
FUCK SMITE EVIL, WE'LL JUST MAKE A SHIT LOAD OF TEA!!

>>13027318
GM: You're in a cave... it's pitch black! You can't see shit!
Player: I open the wallet, I close the wallet, I open the wallet, I close the wallet, I open the wallet, I close the wallet, I open the wallet, I close the wallet. I wait a while... Small fireball... Now what do we see?

>>13027397
Free food!

>>13027306
>Place stone on glacier
>????

A Group of rocks, that when stacked on top of one another, will stay that way for all eternity, regardless of gravity or force, until someone removes the middle stone.

Shoes of Striding.
No matter how slowly you want to move, you always move at a wide stride. Only a successful Disjunction or Greater Dispel will allow you to remove the shoes.

An impenetratable helmet that always weighs double the weigth of the wearer's body.

>>13027544
Magical silence and keep it in a bag.

>>13027581
summon undead have him throw it. A lot of these are incredibly useful when used by undead minions.

A glove that makes the characters left hand invisible to bumblebees.

Cross-dimensional Trousers: One leg is a portal to the Positive Energy Plane, the other to the Negative Energy Plane. The catch? You can't even stand up in these things because your legs are in two different dimensions.

>>13027656
Enchant a minion to always weigh as much as his helmet.
????.
Profit

>>13027652
This concept is already used at many carnivals.

Stay-put socks.

They are socks that never fall down.

Because they are filled with glue.

>>13027710

You might as well divide by zero

It is SEEMINGLY useless. So exploits are fine.

>>13027252
As a student who can rarely be fucked doing his own laundry, I can tell you that permanently clean socks wuld be very useful indeed.

Wand of transform urine.

It can turn any animals urine into the urine of another animal, if the caster has tasted it.

Paper that can set itself on fire with a command word.
Actually that can be very useful in many situations.

A helmet which prevents the wearer from sweating.

An incense that, when burned, eliminates the scent of the burner and the incense until it burns out.

A magical ring that allows a character to wear one additional magical ring (compared to the normal laws of magic).

>>13027511
Are you fucking retarded? That would be the must fun thing to ue as a lawful stupid paladin EVER.

"I check who the most evil person is."
"It's that guy"
"I smite him and check who the next evil person is"
etc.

>>13027805

It doesn't necessarily target evil, though - Just the "most evil" person nearby. So if you're in, say, a church full of lawful good paladins, it's still going to look at SOMEONE.

>>13027805
Points to citizen. SMITE AND KILL HIM.

The most evil person in the area is sometimes not evil at all. You have fallen

>>13027593
That's really damn useful.

>>13027581
That's just a cursed object and is a nice gift.

>>13027318
Made me crack up

A ring that when worn makes you completely hammered. Effect only lasts while wearing the ring

A silk nightgown with pink frills that fill you with manliness.

>>13027822
Hence why I said lawful stupid.

Created something which detected the most evil thing nearby and then went on a quest to destroy all evil.

Bam, BBEG material.

>>13027737
HOW DID YOU DISCOVER THAT POWER

A small construct that has a pen for a hand. If it writes a sound effect on something, that thing will act to cause the effect.

A magic padlock. A successful touch attack will put a padlock through the victim's heart, causing no damage but the size and weight of the lock depend on the person's level of guilt. (Multiple people can be affected.)

A short bracelet made of twine. It provides the wearer with the ability to turn into string.

A small figurine of a stag beetle that can fly incredibly quickly, yet is too slippery to tie anything else to.

>>13027868
+2 Strength, temporary Drunken Master when worn.
-4 Con to male wearers, an additional -2 Con to Orcs and Elvens, -1 if half-elf/orc

>>13027737
Quick, taste the piss of does in heat and never go hungry again!

Pendant of Hungerless:
When worn, the person will no longer feel hungry. However, the player will still have to eat, like he had to before wearing the pendant or will starve to death.

>>13027898
is that some JJBA?

>>13027910
I fail to see why this would affect elves at all....

>>13027898
>A small construct that has a pen for a hand. If it writes a sound effect on something, that thing will act to cause the effect.

>A magic padlock. A successful touch attack will put a padlock through the victim's heart, causing no damage but the size and weight of the lock depend on the person's level of guilt. (Multiple people can be affected.)
JoJo part 5(?) or 4.

>A short bracelet made of twine. It provides the wearer with the ability to turn into string.
JoJo part 6 (also reminiscent of part 3's Hierophant Green)

>A small figurine of a stag beetle that can fly incredibly quickly, yet is too slippery to tie anything else to.
Reminds me of the flying tubes in JoJo part 6

i have decided to look through all of these threads and make a table for a d-100 roll to fuck with my players next campaign

>>13027928
True... dark elves then...?

>>13027914
The player? Is this some "Bring your own snack!" opportunity-opener?

A goblet that changes colour depending on the liquid in it: blue for wines, red for ale, etc.

A prism that splits light into colours almost as usual, but doesn't separate green and yellow from each other.

A sewing needle which won't prick your finger.

A pocket watch that, when touched with bare skin, switches places with the users heart. The heart still continues to function as long as it's not damaged and it's within arms reach of the user.

Genitalia Girdle:
This girdle will change the genitalia of the creature wearing it for 3 seconds once a day. The wearer will have to know the superficial features of the creatures genitalia they are trying to change their genitalia too, in order for it to work.

>>13027988
throw it at enemy. kill the heart.

Goggles that allow the wearer to see what is behind them but not in front of them

>>13027574
>>13027598

Errata for the Wand of Create Wand (Create Wand)

For each charge on the wand the user can summon a Wand of Create Wand. All wands created in this way always have exactly one charge on them. When a wand runs out of charges it is destroyed.

>>13028036
Yes, make an arrow which is designed to rebound off of people after hitting them, then attach the pocketwatch to the arrowhead.

Bam, it lands a metre away and they die due to lack of heart. Will also work on any creature which uses a heart to survive. Dragons, for instance.

A ring enchanted to seem just like a powerful magic ring (exactly what kind is up to the DM's discretion), even fooling Identify and other divination spells, but in reality has no magic effects other than this. The only way to determine the true nature of the ring (aside from trial and error) is to make DC 25 Spellcraft check when examining it with an Identify or Analyze Dweomer spell. The DM has no obligation to suggest or prompt making such a check.

>>13028065
That's why I specified that it needs to touch the skin. Hair/scales/clothes don't work.

Wand of create doubt:

When used, the caster is not entirely sure what it just did, but it obviously did something, right? Or did it?

Stick of Thombor:

This stick, when split in half, will create a gnome behind the person who used the stick. The gnome will constantly yell out Thombor and walk towards the user until the user either looks at the gnome or tries to touch it, in which the gnome will merely vanish into thin air. The gnome is non-corporeal and will walk past any physical objects between the user and it.

>>13028065
>Yes, make an arrow which is designed to rebound off of people after hitting them, then attach the pocketwatch to the arrowhead.

Ballistics, dude. Simplest thing to do is probably exploit the other guy's shock and grab/squash the heart before he can get to it.

>>13027946
>>13027925
You guys got me. (They sound useless, though, don't they?) Respectively [spoiler]Echoes in part 4[/spoiler], obviously, [spoiler]The Lock used by a minor villain at the start of part 4[/spoiler], [spoiler]Jolyne[/spoiler] of course, and [spoiler]Tower of Grey at the beginning of part 3[/spoiler], F=ma and loving it.

A box that turns toys into living things. Upside? Indian in a cupboard. Downside? they are life-size, and do not pull the person or thing from anywhere.

Paint that is a different color to all who look at it

A translucent gel that can evaporate, solidify, or liquefy, determined by the holder. However, it always does the exact opposite of what you want it to.

Perpetual motion device encased in impenetrable glass.

>>13028195
>it always does the exact opposite of what you want it to.
>three states of matter

clothe that when viewed, a person unfit for their duty will see nothing, but a person fit for their duty will see the most gorgeous peice of clothing.

(People unfit for their duty will see nothing of the user of the cloth either.)

>>13027343
infinite major creation for liquids, yes please.

Hair of Growth:

This hair, when placed on a piece of armor, will quickly grow a coating of black on the armor. This fur covering will stay on the armor for a day before shedding off and seemingly disintegrating.

Anyone else want to combine the ring of not feeling hungry but still needing to eat, and the basket of endless food that rots if you're hungry?

>>13028312
That's what I was thinking when I read the ring post.

A sword which can only cut silk.

An egg which hatches into a bird with the ability to turn back into the original egg.

A Monocle which allows grants the wearer the ability to make people hate them.

A seed that, when planted, grows into a corpse.

Deck of Illusions:

A deck that disappears when identified.

Ballgag of Vocalization:

Makes the user immune to silence spells, if the item is worn properly.

>>13027868
Lol wearing that will definitely get you filled with men!

A necklace which makes you irrestible to the opposite gender and attracted to the same gender.

>>13028217
>three states of matter
>I do not know that there are, for example, multiple ways something can be "solid".
>Showing of how smart I am makes me feel as if I'm worth something.

Shoebox of Schrodinger

May or may not contain something. Whatever item the players desperately need exists in a probability state, inside the box. Simultaniously, however, several other things exist in the box in probability states, including a cat that may or may not be dead.

The effect is nullified if it is observed, and only one random probability state can make the transition into stratified reality. Say the players need a sonic screwdriver. So long as they never open the box, a sonic screwdriver exists in the box, in a probability state. Sadly if they open the box, they might just end up with a dead cat.

The probability states cannot be resumed once the contents of the box are observed

>>13028550
Then explain to me where I'm mistaken. I'm simply pointing out that if there are three variables as described, evaporate/solidify/liquefy, and they are not parallels how can there be an "opposite" affect?

Is evaporate opposed to solidify? In which case what opposes liquid? Or am I to understand that if you want it to solidify that it will do one of the other two, in which case in what way is it an opposite?

If there's something I'm missing then tell me in detail, don't just get all smarmy.

>>13028625
"Man, I really need to be liquid now, but if i'd turn i'd turn into gas, the strong wind would blow me away.
Well, fuck, I just evaporated, didn't I?"

A tattoo that makes its user prone to sunburn.

A book whose dog-eared page uncreases itself when the owner resumes reading.

A small square of paper which, when folded into the shape of an animal, becomes animated with the essential personality of that animal. A paper frog will hop around on its own, a paper crane will slowly flap its wings (but probably not fly), and a paper rhinocerous will run around charging things pathetically.

A small gardening trowel which is not tiring to use.

A set of wagon wheels which will not come off their axles unless first broken.

A jar whose lid reappears intact upon command, and thus can not be permanently lost or broken unless the jar itself is lost or broken.

Wand of Tautology. Its magic is the ability to be activated. You may expend one charge... to expend one charge.

>>13028047
So.. reverse mirror glasses?

A dull knife that spreads even the hardest butter without shredding the bread.

>Bust Wand
Tap a womans breasts with one end of the wand, the breasts disappear, tap any object, woman, rock, house, pillow anything really with the other end and it gains that bust. If used on tits it simply increases their size

Baby Wand: Same thing except with pregnancies(both sides can only be used on women' armor adjusts to the swollen belly

A +5 Vorpal Acid Burst Lawfulbane goodbane Great Sword that automatically confirms critical hits when wielded by a lawful good character but can only be used against other lawful good characters for a lawful good purpose(or it just stops working immediately)

>>13028840
... how many charges does it have?
>explas necessity

>>13028876

I would drown babies for this knife.

A magical pen. Any dialogue written with it will, when read aloud, be read with the voice of the character in the dialogue.

>>13028947
>Implying one needs a reason to drown babies

a jar, when opened, smells like the last place you opened it.

>mfw i gave this to my players and they stink bombed a prison and broke out their party member.

>>13029082
oh, and for the curious, the last place it was opened was in a room of rotten farts... my players are juvenile

>>13028931
It has as many charges as it has, duh.

Trench Coat of Viewing.

When worn, all armor and items inside of the coat are invisible.

a copper coin that changes the design on both of its faces every time it is flipped in the air.

A tankard that can never be knocked over when empty, but has a tendency to be accidentally tipped when more than half-filled.

>>13029149
Wear it inside out: Whole world becomes invisible!

>>13027750
Reminds me of the OOTS "I prepared Explosive Runes this morning" joke.

>>13027750
How far away can the command word be said? That's damned good.

>>13028890

>BBEG is a woman
>use baby wand on her
>not so easy to fight now, is it?

>>13030066
holy fuck, that would screw with my party so bad (paladins doing a templar thing)

thought, that would actually be kinda neat, a way to extend the use of the big bad

wand of presdigitation that can be used 5 times-per-day. Only usable in combat.

monocle that points out the three most valuable things in a room. Including the room itself and your equipment

jewel that is unable to be dropped by the holder unless the holder is dead. Becomes the phylactery of the last lich that the party fought no matter if it was killed or not. The respawn rate is every 2 days and the lich retains all of its memories when regenerated.

>>13030141
>my face when i used the wrong word...
"though" not "thought"

>>13029149
Does this mean you flash people if you have the front open?

>>13030066

>BBEG is a tiny-sized being
>use one side of the want to take the fetus out of a gigantic-sized creature
>place it inside of the BBEG
>ripped apart by BABIES
>party barbarian can gloat like the heavy

A ring that keeps dirt from getting under your fingernails.

Staff that stores kinetic energy as it gains it through general movement or combat. It releases it by exploding; destroying the staff in the process. It may only explode on the ethereal plane.

A wand that will summon n number of whales left testicles.

where N is the number of people in the party

A box that whenever opened contains 1d10 odd numbered dice.

(as in the dice only has odd numbers on it)

A mouse that sing a drinking song at midday.

A money box, that when opened, has the exact amount of money to get away for holding highly sensitive, copyright material, and it also gives you the material in question.

Hamster Of Holding

An invisibility cloak that makes everything apart from you invisible

A small teapot that is magically filled with enough hot tea for a single cup. This occurs at 8am, noon and 4pm every day without fail, the times at which the Wizard who created it likes a nice fresh cup.

you find it in an underground lab, which has been filling with cold, stale tea during the last 400 years since the wizard died

Robe of permanent Ghost Sounds and detect evil (3 times-per-day, instantaneous action). The only emitted sound is the sound of somebody masturbating. Only usable by paladins. Paladins do not hear the sound.

A bottomless bucket of human excrement that can only be picked up by hand.

a wand that when in contact with bear skin causes the wielder to swap places with them

>>13028890

Just imagine what would happen if a bard got his hands on the first two items. The results would be earth-shattering.

>>13030408
>Bucket of Infinite Fertilizer - give it to a barren kingdom, return a year later, discover land is flourishing agirculturally

>Wand of Fucking With Party Druid - Wildshape? How about NOT

A tuning fork that, when struck, plays the Columbian national anthem.

A pair of earmuffs which only block out the sound of the Columbian national anthem.

Glasses of Wolf Sight:

When these glasses are worn, the wearer will see the sight of a random wolf living on the planet. If their are currently no wolves on the planet, the glasses will simply disintegrate when worn.

Thimble of uncanny construction.
Appears as an ordinary copper thimble, however it cannot be crushed. Melts and is destroyed at temperatures that would melt copper.

A D cell battery that has no charge except in the light of a full moon.

a metal band that has the ability to create a portal for urine to flow into. The urine inside of the portal will exit from a portal 10 feet above the metal band.

A large goblet that is always filled to the brim with a liquid of the user's choice. The liquid can only be sipped, even turning the goblet over will not cause any liquid to leave. Straws do not count, the user must be trained in proper Nobleperson sipping etiquette to properly sip.

A thimble which contains a pinch of unidentified white powder. Every twenty four hours the thimble re-fills, each time with a different white powder. One day it may be finely ground sugar, the next day potassium nitrate, the next day cocaine. You'll never know til you try to figure it out.

Magic Bag of Unholding.

A "compact" version of the popular bag of holding.

A goblet filled with any liquid the holder thinks of, that when tipped, whispers, "don't think of urine"

>>13030948
>I fill it with magma
what? you know you have to sip it..
>I know, I roll for fort save.. 18
your mouth is slightly singed.. why do you do this all the ti-
>I spit magma at him
EVERY SINGLE TIME

>>13027430
THIS JOKE IS STILL FUCKING FUNNY.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.

>>13030810
The first time I read this, I was thinking, "So, GWAR is magical?" Then I realizes you meant "metal band" as in "strip of iron," and not as in "have guitars and loud amplifiers."

Though a magic metal band did appear as villains in the movie The Dungeonmaster. I believe it was W.A.S.P. They attacked the hero by playing power chords which shot lightning out of their guitars.
> I highly recommend this movie. For some value of "highly."

>>13027721

a gun which covers its user in bees