look through the bestiary, put on your Andrew Zimmern glasses

I'll have the waitress, please.

Depends on the culture.
A cosmopolitan city would have all kinds of nonsentient animal meats and magical plants mixed to create delicious dishes from all different cultures.

A HUMANITY FUCK YEAR city would have the same, but with delicious elf fillet and dwarf steak that menaces with spikes of bismuth.

Fetch Quest for the 11 Secret Herbs and Spices

fuck, now i am wondering what a displacer beast rump steak would taste like.

would you have to crack open a purple worm like a lobster?

oh, the possibilities.

>>7888945
OP here.

Classiest, most decadent social gathering from every culture, everywhere.

The only restriction is that your foodstuff must be non-humanoid.

Make a choice.

Otyugh fillet, as specialty gourmet cuisine. Yeah, they're crazy decadent like that.

I will have the black pudding.

>>7888978
You're talking about the same creatures that wallow around in filth for most of their lives, feasting on liquid shit.

... Eh. Shouldn't be that different from pork, then.

Breast of nymph, medium-rare, with satyr bacon on the side, with dryad hair as the salad.

Displacer meat and vegetables, and a fruit salad. All served up on a naked, busty blond elf. Finest elven wine for me and the best dwarven ale for everyone else. After the dinner I am allowed to ravish the elf. She consents.

werebear steak. like daddy used to make

>>7889058
Impeccable taste, my man.

>>7889058
Fuck your elf tits.

Eating roast by the kilo with delicious kuudere.

Colossal crab claw for the main dish, with a spicy drake salad.

>>7889082
... "Drake salad"?

wine, rum, beer and ale

cooked in to a lavish meal by legendary cook

>>7889073
Thank you good sir, but I do not deserve the praise, I forgot the cheese eaten off the werera-mouse.

>>7889095
The ingredients must be minced.

>>7889081
My good man, my hall is spacious, and there is enough food, beverage and women (and men, and girls, and boys, and between) for all.

>>7889058
>>7889081
*sigh*. that series could have been so much more than it was.

Do Outsiders count if they appear humanoid? Or monstrous humanoids? I crave the most obscene hedonistic delights!

>>7889096
Why isn't she wearing any underwear? With such holes in her dress you'd think she'd wear some.

>>7889128
I think the manga is okay enough, the only thing that bothers me is the lack of canon porn. It WAS intended to be a H-game originally...

>>7889128
That series was meant to be porn. Be thankful it stopped and shitty harem.

>>7889142
The futa-cat took it. My apologies.

>>7889138
Outsiders and Monstrous Humanoids do not count for the purpose of this game.

>>7889150
Why does the cat have to be a futa when she has tails? Totally overdoing it if you ask me.

>>7889147
>it stopped

Fail its still running.

Redwall food.

Be quick about it, wench!

>>7889118
> My good man
> no sergal pic

Can the chefs do a medium rare steak properly?

Because I have been to classy restaurants before and had terrible steak because the chef completely fucked up

>>7889158
YES.

Brian Jacques is awesome.

Quick, someone link the Redwall kitchen.

I order one of the tiefling waitresses. And a bottle of whipped cream.

>>7889160
These chefs are the masters of their art. There are none better.

>>7889157
The novels/manga,maybe, but they haven't made a new anime episode in what, 2 years?

>>7889154

Solar breastmeat with a light dryad glaze for that smoky, woody taste that you just can't get anywhere else then! For a side I'll have an assassin vine and phantom fungi salad with a loaf of bread baked in Elysium! For desert I'll have poached Pit Fiend Eyes in a light ochre jelly sauce and down it all with top hat full of sweetened celestial children's tears.

>>7889188
Also I want it all served in the hollowed out skull of a titan. Now that's class.

>>7889188
... That horrifes me, makes me hungry and gives me a boner at the same time.

>>7889145
>>7889147
meh. i dont care about that. its just that it got pretty weak in later seasons.

season 1: FIGH DA POWAH!.

season 2: meh. i`ll fight it later.

season 3: oh yes, whip me some more!.

and the OVA was retarded.

the only thing i really liked about the series was the whole "things from the modern world being accidentally summoned to/ending up in this magic fantasy world"

i feel that they shold have made something more out of that instead of just going "well, i guess we could need one more harem anime".

>>7889156
Cock is always good, more tails---> more fun.

>>7889188
Questions.

What fluid from the dryad would you glaze the meat with?
What would you sweeten the childrens' tears with?

>>7889185
well, there was an OVA ep last summer i think.

>>7889227

1) Sap. Wherever dryad sap comes from. Use your imagination!

2) Grell honey.

>>7889264
... I approve.

>>7889216
And when the tails are in fact buttplugs?

>>7889278
All is well, I approve.

>>7889264
I approve.

>>7889188
I'm proud of you.

>>7889278
Buttplugs are always good.
No exceptions.

>>7889292
You're not the boss of what I say Blackheart! I'm a free man!

A free man with MAN feelings!

http://www.redwall.net/kitchen/

Redwall kitchen?

>>7889310
Yes, tell that to Bob, nii-chan.

Mashed potatoes. There's nothing more classy than this. Not even in high fantasy mumbo jumbo.

>>7889320
Uguuu~

Also to stay on topic, I will have a troll buffet! Just one tied down troll and a dextrous chef with a cleaver, cutting away and frying up portions of him to feed to me at my own leisure.

>>7889251
Last LAST summer, actually, and that beach episode contained exactly 0 plot, 100 fan service.

Wait a minute...

>Go to Redwall kitchen
>Look up beverage recipes
>Almost all use some sort of soda

I am disappoint.

>>7889278
doubleplus good

Juvenile silver dragon rump steak, rare, probably drizzled in some sort of Outsider blood. Probably Slaan. Illithid tentacle calamari at the side.

>>7889360
lol Fail Russ.

HOW DID HE GET IN MY HOUUUUUUUUUUUUSE?!

>>7889383
Are you telling me you don't find that almost disgusting at nearly a primal level?

That all those delicious sounding beverages would be sullied by even the notion of replicating them with such base substances as soda.

Bleh, makes me sick.

>>7889443

>>7889382
>serving anything with a double-a in the name to guests

1) Get a cow, force feed it pigs until it dies.
2) Cover it in batter, inject it with a mixture of melted cheeses and sour cream.
3) Flash fry it.

Let's be honest with ourselves. This will kill you, and everyone else who eats it. People will put on horrendous amounts of weight just by looking at it. But it will taste so damn good.

Alternately, as the main course:
Blasted Chicken. Best damn chicken I've ever had, the skin was dry and crispy, the inside was juicy, and you could taste the seasoning throughout the whole thing. Here's the recipe, and it's pretty damn easy too!
Wash, and pat very dry with paper towels, a whole chicken - about 3 1/2 pounds. Salt and pepper chicken, adding other seasonings, if desired.

Place chicken (untrussed, not covered, in a roasting pan) in a thoroughly pre-heated 450-degree oven. Roast for 45 minutes. Thermometer, inserted in thickest part of thigh meat - not touching bone - should read 160 degrees or slightly higher.

Remove from oven and allow to stand 15 minutes before serving.

>>7889347
That's sort of how the ZnT anime worked in general. The novels were still pretty bad with it, but they really skim over stuff to fit more fanservice in to an even more embarrassing point.

Mashed tubers with lemongrass, mixed berry tart with glaze

God, I wonder if Dragons are spiced like their color? Are red dragons spicy? Are Crystalline dragons flavored like Rock Candy? Is black dragon disgusting?

If I got my hands on a wish spell I'd open a fast-food restaurant with a subjugated Tarrasque and a subjugated Hydra.
Roasted and to your plate in 20 minutes or your copper back!

My gruff dwarf who has no business being here but has an invite and is managing to where a sharp chartreuse suit with it looking too tacky orders for himself a dragon fillet medalin from a dragonling of each of the 5 colors that represent tiamat's head. If asked to clarify these colors he will stumble for a bit but eventually recount them as blue, white, red, black, and a, oh right green, too obvious that green.

For drink, goldschlager, made with bits of gold from a coin from Bahamuts own horde, after a wish has been made upon it being tossed into the fountain of dreams and later retrieved. It shall be served in the hollowed out head of a warforged juggernaut.

For desert, to piss off certain members, as well as to confirm his own biological oriented suspicions, pudding made with dragonborn milk.

The dwarf obviously has a thing for dragons.

He also wishes for a kobold to be provided. No explanation is given.

>>7889493
Black Dragon's like wasabi; sudden, nasal blasting burn that tapers off nicely.
Blue's tangy. Goes good with citrus fruit.
White's wet, soupy and sweet. Nasty by itself, but amazing in stew and used as a gelatin dish base.
Green's tart and acrid, and good on a bed of greens or mellowed with a nice black rye.

Righty-oh; The menu for tonight's dining shall be
Starter; A light pastry with a creme pepper and Tarrasque-liver Pâté
Main Course; Roast Dire Boar slain and cooked right before the guests' eyes with a variety of mystical (not to mention hallucenegenic and aphrodisic) herbs and spices by a travelling band of halflings. This will be accompanied by Glazed Dryder legs on a bed of triffid leaf salad and a bat-wing and kraken eye soup.
Dessert; An exquisite selection of exotic flavoured ice-creams, a dwarven gold laced gateau and the finest minotaur custard.

>>7889535
>>the finest minotaur custard.

Uncontrollably, I salivated.

Red dragon egg omlettes

>>7889535
I... What...

This...

This is delicious.

... Minotaur custard? Oh god, my saliva glands.

>>7889264
Mead made from the sap of Dryads. I'll have. A fine cut of Tarrasque steak marinated in ochre jelly cooked to a perfect medium rare, with a side of Yggdrasil fruit and deep fried Kraken calamari.

Dessert is simply a cake, though it was baked in Elysium with ingredients native to the plane, and served on the naked body of a submissive but somewhat horny Lillend (Pic related).

On a diet, I'll just have a green slaad.

>>7889636

>>7889636

To drink, I'll have some orcwort coffee, with two lumps of red sundew sugar and minotaur milk.
For the appetizer, I believe strips of pickled intellect devourer cerebrum with a light shrieker dipping sauce would be in order.
As a main course, steamed chuul claws over grey render fillets, glazed with ambrosia.
Dessert will consist of sorbet made with ice from the plane of water, flavored with the fruit of a saguaro sentinal.

Because who says dinner has to be 'core only'?

>>7889673
CORE ONLY = The Atkins Diet of D&D

1)Hal-fling Style Flat-Bread, the fluffy kind.

2) Wood Elf Style Tossed Salad, with Assassin Vine Vinaigrette sauce.

3)Dragon Meat Stew...the spicy bisque variety with bits of scale to use as scoops.

4)Deep Fried Sugared Pixies, but not so sugary that I have to constantly clean my hands.

I'll start the meal with the Coastal Wheat Ale...the one that was brewed with lemon peels. Then after the main course and entering desert, I'll have some Gnome Ice Brandy.

>>7889556
>>7889594

>minotaur custard
>semen

>>7889733
It's custard made from female minotaur milk, you twit.

>>7889733
Yeah, I thought of that....but then....minotaur breast milk based custard.
That did it.
Still does it.
Damn.

>>7889216
>>more tails---> more fun.

Logical

>>7889733
I've got pics of a woman sampling fresh male minotaur custard if you'd like.

>You make a request and the chefs will cook it - and your dish will be served to you by equally delicious tiefling waitresses.

Sushi.

>>7889688
Oh god, you gave me an awesome idea.

People often tear the scales off of dragons, ripping out chinks of meat with them. They scrape the meat off, eat it, and use the scales to dig out the rest of the flesh from the dragon.

Like crazy, crazy mussels.

>>7889972
DRAGONS AS PORTABLE BUFFETS
They fly/teleport to your destination, neatly slice open their veins and bleed out, get roasted by the time you get there. When your party is done eating, simply use the convenient True Resurrection contingency spell-trigger word, and the dragon will fly away!

>>7890006

>>7889968
Ahhh, nightmare fuel. High Octane, no less.

Never do that again.

>>7890006
Even I find this slightly disturbing.

>>7890006

I'm not sure what it is but there's something in this that makes it the most disgusting thing ever to cross my thoughts

I came here hoping to bedazzle you all with a description of such mindboggling recipes and exotic species that you'd stare in awe for hours.

Alas, I have nothing. I shall have naught but two slices of bread with in between it a slice of roasted pig's meat...And a glass of water.

Nobody's mentioned all-you-can-eat Tarrasque Steak Buffets?

>>7890120
No matter how much you attack it, it slides across the plate.

>>7890120
But those places produce trolls and half trolls.

>>7888910
finally, a thread with class

I'll have the warforged bacon golem with a side of Rimzillo's mystical meat bread.

>>7890161

Kitchenforged? Foodforged?

>>7890191
Meatforged.

A Roc's egg. Just the one, because I imagine it's huge. Bonus points if I have some bacon to go with it.

And a wizard proficient in manipulating electricity awaiting my call. I need someone to defibrillate me when my heart inevitably seizes up.

>>7890153

Surely

Well, of course you have classic culinary fare, cow, chicken, fish, served in a fancy way. I don't see why, even in the presence of fantastic beasts, people would stop eating domesticated creatures.

Then you have more exotic tastes for the discerning gentleman. You know, Unicorn, Kraken, Chimera; Dragon is probably hard to come by but I'm sure someone has a taste for it. And I'm sure there's a lot of dragon meat just lying around after someone slays it, so you might as well eat it.

Of course, the price for humanoid varies by species and how acceptable it is seen to be eating them. Orc is relatively easy to get but pretty gamy. Goblin tastes like chicken (but what doesn't?) Dwarf would probably be filling but bad for you. Me? I'm on a diet, so I'll probably go with Elf.

OWNERSHIP OF ANY IDEA REGARDING THE ACTIONS AND INTENT OF THIS THREAD NOT FOUND
INITIATING REVOLUTION MODE

>>7890207
Flash-fried Roc egg, with wereboar back bacon?

>>7890391
A few slices of Elysian toast with Minotaur Butter, a couple of fried beef tomatoes and maybe some dragon sausages.

Delicious breakfast.

A slice of the tender loin of Mother of All Cows, a side of the Apple of Eden lightly fried in Ambrosia sauce, a side of flatbread from the Eternal Maize topped with Choclatl sauce, and a healthy-sized cup of distilled Heart of Darkness.

For dessert, the lightly-frosted slice of the Cake of Evermore, handcrafted by the Fae Queen.

Performance from the Revered Ancient One during the remove.

all of you are making me way too hungry after reading this thread.

I just ate breakfast too.

Huh. How would you actually prepare a Tarrasque?

>>7890862
High-level fighter to hew steaks from it, then a wizard Searing Rays it.

>>7890642

>Eternal Maize

iseewhatyoufuckindidthere.jpeg

I hand the waitress a copy of 'Redwall' and ask for every food item mentioned in the book

Shock lizards

I must say, I'll have the Troll Steak. Mmmm, never ending steak...

>>7892495
IHOP's neverending pancakes are made from troll bonemeal.

Thread Archived due to awesome.