Shit a brick.

fill out the papers myself?

>>7985702

This.

Punch him in the face, take gun, shoot him.

Then steal clothes and equipment.

>>7985702
In 10 minutes?

Have you SEEN the forms man?

E-55 and 56 ALONE will take you a good part of an hour.

Is the OP dead? D:

Call the Manager up and ask him for the override codes.

>>7985663
Don't fall for it. he's probably going to shoot you anyway if you break the procedure.

Still, he might shoot you anyway just for annoying him

>>7985761

You can't reach him. He's out sick. Calling him his personal comm just ends up with a pleasent voice mail recording.

>>7985717

Hell yes!

Push the alarm button? Or tell him he's free to help himself after he's taken care of the Combat-servitor but we'll have to charge him with the costs of getting a new one and he'll have to fill in forms P-34/d to R-66/x.

>>7985722

Bash the servitor to death with a wrench (or borrow the bolt pistol) and let him in?

Guess I'd grab the nearest weapon and go fuck up that servitor.

>>7985717

Um... He's an inquisitor. With years and years of combat experience stabbing xenos and heretics.

You're a clerk. You had trouble chasing a wombat out of your hab block.

Yea it seems the Servitor will have to go to get that door open.

>>7985789

It's Saturday. Security is understaffed. The only guard still on duty is Old Giles with a billy club, and you're not even sure if he can hear the alarm with his deafness and all.

Apologise for wasting his time, and call your immediate supervisor to deal with this important gentleman's request. Then lock yourself in the stationery cupboard until the gunfire and screaming stops.

/roll

I punch the inquisitor in the face. nd steal his gun.

>>7985866
How does roll work btw?

>>7985864

You can't reach your manager, and the next higher-up is 40 miles away, in the other branch office, half way across the city.

Tell him you'll fill the forms out yourself.

Failing that, fill out the "notification of death by Inquisitorial authority" paper before he shoots us.

>>7985717
ofgs this!

>>7985899

Kill the servitor.

Then apologize profusely and fill the servitor replacement forms.

>>7985936

The Servitor is twice your size. And it's got a twin-linked stubber mounted on its arm.

>>7985936
This and get this thread moving.

The Inquisitorial rosette can actually interface with a standard servitor's computer interface and override the standard programming...

>>7985954
That won't matter for the Inquisitior, I'm sure he knows what he's doing.

bump

Inform the Inquisitor that while you honestly want to fulfill his order, you physically can not do it in the timeframe he has given you. He must know that Imperial Bureacracy can be hell at times.

>>7985968
The Inquistor yanks you by your front collar. "Listen to me, you little shit," he tells you, "Across the street, there, in that hotel block, are a fuckton of heretics in a meeting about the best way to burn this world. That meeting ends in an hour. You will get me those charges, or I will..."

You meekly interrupt the inquisitor to tell him that you'd love to cooperate, but there's the matter of a, um, servitor blocking the way.

And it's armed.

And it needs the proper auth...

"Alright," he says, "Where is it?"

You point to the vault at the end of the corridor behind you.

The Inquisitor eyes you with hatred. "Don't even THINK about moving."

He strides down the hall out of your view, and you hear sudden gunfire.

>>7985954

Ask the Inquisitor to override it, call techpriest-support?

Failing that, excuse yourself saying that you have to go look for something in the back room and then RUN THE FUCK AWAY.

>>7986043
finally!

Killing the servitor won't open the vault. We need to get the drop on the inquisitor.

"Requisition me a beat"

Fill out those forms with a super-human feat of bureaucratic ability.

Impress the Inquisitor so much with your red-tape cutting skill that he conscripts you involuntarily into his retinue, dragging you off-planet before you can even say goodbye to your fiancee.

You die a few months later at the hands of some genestealers.

Bad End.

We're a long-standing Munitorum worker. There are probably several warehouses here that could fulfil the Inquisitor's needs and we probably know the people that work there. Call them and find one whose manager isn't ill and nonanswering, then direct the Inquisitor there. Point out that he either goes to them or he deals with our servitor, then wait to be shot. At least we did the best we could.

>>7986043
Finally. OP you should get a name to differentiate yourself from the Anon.

>>7986043

The gunfire lasts for some time, but at last, there's silence. You're not sure who won, but if the wetness dribbing down your left leg is any indication, you don't really want to find out.

Your move.

>>7986084
Coward Clerk reporting for duty.

>>7986043

Hide under your desk. Optional: Void your bowels.

>>7986087
yes i want.

>>7986087
Lock ourselves in a stationary cupboard.

>>7986087

Take a peek, see who's still standing.

If Inquisitor, open the door and hand him the explosives.

If servitor, call Arbites and local PDF, Sororitas, Space Marines, whoever is at hand, tell them of the heretic meeting in the hotel.

>>7986132
And steal clothes.

Now who's the Inquisitor???

>>7986087
I'd stay put where I am, I listen to the Inquisitor.

>>7986087
Wait for a while. If nothing happens call the Arbites.

yet again, bump

>>7986106

You try to bend down and squeeze yourself between the desk and the chair, but suddenly, the Inquisitor returns and slams a big, wet, soppy thing down in front of you.

It's the bloody head of the servitor.

He grabs you by the collar again and hoists you up.

Slowly, he enunciates every word.

"WHERE

DO YOU

KEEP

THE CHARGES?"

You tremble, and finally gathers up enough courage to lead him into the warehouse. You quickly navigate to the shelf where the demo charges usually sit, but you notice that it's empty. There's a note there that reads "Out of stock".

You look at the Inquisitor. He looks at you. He taps his foot.

What do you do?

>>7986192
show him the note

Inform him that your out of charges. Then direct him to the next set of explosives that could get the job done.

>>7986192

Direct him to the nearest Arbites Station, they surely have explosives and weapons there.

And reinforcements.

>>7986192
Sucide is starting to look pretty good right now...

If not, Tzeentch plz...

>>7986192
Locate the nearest charges, and/or materials nearby that can be made into explosive charges, using the nearest computer that would have that information.

>>7986192

That's certainly not going to be restocked within the hour, so it looks like we're shit out of luck.

Close our eyes and whisper a prayer commending our soul to the Emperor.

>>7986192
Suggest an alternative. Thermite. Mining submunitions. ANYTHING.

MAKE UP EXCUSES

START CRYING

Since, before we took this job, we were macguyver, quickly whip up a set of explosives using only our mullet, a paperclip and an elastic band.

>>7986218

You meekly (and politely) point out that you're out of stock.

The Inquisitor's face flushes red. He is furious.

BUT, you quickly tell him, maybe there's an alternative? You do have plenty of promethium tanks still left. Surely an enterprising Inquisitor such as himself could do something with that.

"That hotel DOES look very flammable," he mutters.

He looks at you. "Clerk." he asks, "What's your name?"

What do we answer?

>>7986255
Harold.

>>7986255
MacGuyverius the Third

>>7986255

Creed.

Point out your copious stocks of Promethium and offer to carry out all the barrels you can with the loading sentinel. You're pretty sure you remember how to control it from that safety holovid you had to watch when you first started to work here.

>>7986255
I am Andrew Ryan, and I am here to ask you a question. Is a man not entitled to the sweat of his brow?

'No,' says the man in Washington, 'it belongs to the poor.'
'No,' says the man in the Vatican, 'it belongs to God.'
'No,' says the man in Moscow, 'it belongs to everyone.'

I rejected those answers. Instead, I chose something different. I chose the impossible. I chose...

Rapture.

A city where the artist would not fear the censor,
where the scientist would not be bound by petty morality,
where the great will not be constrained by the small.

And with the sweat of your brow, Rapture can become your city, as well.

>>7986255
Give him our name.

Tell him your name.

>>7986255

Tell him our name, Administratum census number, pay grade and line manager.

>>7986297

This

>>7986308
>>7986318
Quit it... now.

>>7986192
Tell the inquisitor that the ware house is out of stock and that, you'd love nothing more than to help in anyway that you can.
"Maybe, he'll leave me alone seeing as how there is nothing I can do about getting him charges, perhaps he can gerry rig some explosives together"

Tell the Inquisitor that he was the son of Grendel, though he doesn't know much about his father.

>>7986335
Can you guys press F5 plz?

>>7986294

"H....H....H..." you stammer.

"Your name," the Inquisitor tells you humorlessly, "Is Shitstain." He puts you back on the ground. "Well, Shitstain, congratulations. You are officially drafted into the Inquisition. Listen Shitstain, we don't have much time. Those heretics will be leaving the hotel in half an hour, and I'll be damned if I let them live."

"Yo..you... you could call the Arbities," you suggest.

The Inquisitor grins. "Half an hour, Shitstain. Not enough time." He looks around the warehouse, and grabs an arm-ful of lasgun clips. "Strap these to your belt, then help me carry those two promethium tanks across the street."

You really, really, really don't want to do this.

Do you obey? Or think of a suitable excuse? Or make a break for it?

>>7986385

He looks at you and notes your hesitation. "If you do this, you'll be a hero. You'll save your entire planet."

>>7986385

Well, he's an inquisitor.

So we do as he say and use our trusty cellphone to call the Arbites and PDF WHILE we help him push the promethium.

>>7986385
Obey, explosions are pwety

>>7986385
Obey. Any other option will get us in deep shit.

>>7986385
obey
time to harden the fuck up

>>7986385
>>7986401
Knowing that you are only a servant to the will of the Emperor, and the Inquisition is that will, you obey him. This however does not stop him from continuing to whine in fear and complain.

>>7986385
Disobey? Never.
FOR THE EMPEROR!

>>7986410
Seconding this

>>7986413
Don't you mean "deeper shit"?

>>7986401
Do what he says.

But be as incompetent as we can possibly be without getting ourselves shot, lest we find ourselves forcibly conscripted into the Inquisitor's retinue and die horribly at some point in the future.

>>7986443
I don't think we can go that much deeper anymore.

DO NOT DISOBEY.

VOLUNTEER TO RUN SCREAMING INTO THE ROOM, STRAPPED WITH THE TANKS AND THE TANKS WITH PRIMITIVE LIT FUSES, READY TO BLOW.

IN THE EMPERORS NAME!

Shoot the Inquisitor in the back and join the heretics.

>>7986486
i like that...

I'm willing to bet 1,000 thrones that the inquisitor is safer to be around than raving mad mutants and heretics. Stick with him.

>>7986297
Good name.

>>7986411

You do as the Inquisitor says. You strap the packs to your belt, and notes that the Inquisitor is dumping a loadful of grenades into a sack. He slings the sack around his shoulders, and grips one of the promethium tanks. You do the same to the other.

Together, you two lug the tanks across the street to the Hotel. The two of you drags the tanks around the building to the back entrance alley way. "Okay, Shitstain, this is what we'll do. They're having the meeting in the grand ballroom. First floor. We're going to break down the doors, rush in there, then I'm going to shout "SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS," and detonate the grenades.

You're slightly bewildered. "W...won't that kill us too?"

The Inquisitor looks at you seriously. "It's us or the planet, pal. Two lives for a whole world, Shitstain. It's worth it."

Suddenly, you don't feel so good anymore.

What do we do?

rolled 11 = 11

Roll to punch.

>>7986500
"Can't we just throw the grenades in? Or plant them around and demolish the building?"

>>7986500
Grow a pair, pray to the Emperor, get this shit done.

>>7986500
HERESY AND DAMNATION ARE LOOKING AWFULLY NICE RIGHT NOW.

>>7986500

Tell him to lead the way.

Don't follow.

>>7986500
Do as he says but just after he kicks down the door you hit him in the head.

Heretics and mutants are better than death...

Stammer out that the Inquistor can use his bolt pistol to ignite the Promethium barrels from outside after the two of you roll them inside.

>>7986509
how the fuck do i roll???

>>7986520

The Inquisitor looks at you as if you were mad. "Half those guys in there have personal shields. The other half are fodder that I could care less about. I can throw the sack of grenades, sure, but how many can I get in before they shoot us to pieces? How far can you throw a promethium tank? Grow a pair, Shitstain, the Emperor's watching."

What do we do?

>>7986541
This sounds good. Inform the Lord Inquisitor that surely his life and skills would be squandered on a suicide mission such as this, and surely this isn't the only cult on our planet.

>>7986500
Suggest that if we plant the explosives inside and rig them to be detonated from a distance, or even if we use windows/holes in walls/holes in roof to distribute explosives and such, we will likely do just as much damage, and actually survive too.

Do it politely.

>>7986521
>>7986521
>>7986521
>>7986521
>>7986521
>>7986521
>>7986521

>>7986500
Propose an alternate plan that would involve dropping the tanks and grenades from the floor above the ballroom. Preferably something that would allow a quick escape, perhaps to a neighboring building before the explosives go off.

>>7986520

They're frag grenades, not melta charges.

>>7986552

see this:
>>7986537

>>7986566
Pour it down from the ceiling.

Time to make a knowledge check and see if you can identify a structural weakness in the building.

rolled 88 = 88

>>7986550
Type "dice+1d100" without the quotation marks into your email field.

The first number signifies how many dice, the number after the 'd' signifies how many sides the dice has.

>>7986577
>>7986572
>>7986566
Too many suggestions. All good.

We need a tie breaker or some sort of fuzzy consensus

ask to borrow the bolt pistol and for a written inquisitorial mandate to absolve you of any crimes committed while obtaining these demolitions.

then politely ask him to follow you to the armoury

once there ask again to verify inquisitorial permissions and blow the head off of the guard servitor.

ask the inquisitor to stay right there as you get the demolitions.

bring him back the demolitions
???
profit

>>7986552

Ask him to help you get the promethium and explosives upstairs, then tell him to leave the building, you can do this alone and his life is worth more than yours.

>>7986552
So wouldn't collapsing the entire building kill them all?

>>7986566
I vote this

>>7986552
eat as much promethium as you can

swallow a match

FOR THE EMPRAH

>>7986633
that would be so epic... but NO.

>>7986572
>>7986521
function show_alert value="Show User" eval"(x=10; y=20;document.write(x*y)");

>>7986615

You squarely plant your feet, and inform the Inquisitor that, frankly, his life is too valuable to lose for a mere bunch of heretics. You suggest that we can pour the liquid promethium down the vent shaft from the second floor while someone bars all exits on the ball room, and burn the whole building down around those heretics.

The Inquisitor looks dubious. "We've got 20 minutes. I don't think there's enough time for that."

He eyes you suspiciously.

"You're not a heretic, are you?"

What do we answer?

>>7986654
If we were a heretic, wouldn't we be inside already, at the meeting?

>>7986654
Would i really help you this far if i was one?

rolled 491679 = 491679

rollan

>>7986674

The Inquisitor is still somewhat suspicious, but mollified, for now. "Okay Shitstain, you want to do the pouring, or the blocking?"

What do we answer?

>>7986654

For the God-Emperor's sake, are you going to help me kill those traitors or stand around doing nothing?

Say it like you really mean it.

>>7986697
pour it down...

rolled 984602 = 984602

>>7986654
If I were a heretic, I would have called the other heretics at the heretic meeting while you were shooting the servitor and they would have been all over your ass whenever we were in the warehouse.

>>7986500
Excuse ourselves for the bathroom. Inform the heretics that a nice man is about to come through the door with the cake. Go back to the bathroom, climb out the window.

>>7986654
ask him to affix the prometheum tanks to our back. Tell him we will run in and shout SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS and he can shoot us with his laspistol, detonating the prometheum tanks.

That way, we take down the heretics, and the inquisitor can continue fighting heresy, and we can go to His most Glorious Side, to rest in peace for all time.

>>7986734
No we will be eaten by deamons.

AND FGS PRESS F5!!!!

>>7986697
Pouring

It's time to pucker up, make one last prayer to the God Emperor, try to write something sweet to your loved one and muck in.

Martyrdom in the service of the Emperor gets you 40 virgins in heaven doesn't it?

>>7986697
Pouring, because it puts him less at risk, thereby building trust with him

rolled 701429 = 701429

>>7986697
POURING

I say we pour. He's more combat effective, we'd be wasted in pouring. I say we also mutter litany after litany as we're doing it.

>>7986697
STRAP OURSELVES WITH GRENADES AND RUN IN SCREAMING HYMNS. DETONATE. TAKE THE PROMETHIUM TANKS.

>>7986703

You put on the bravest face you can muster, and tell him, "I'll do the pouring sir! I won't fail you!"

He eyes you suspiciously. "Alright Shitstain, but try anything funny and I'll put a bolt upside your skull."

Together, the two of you lug the promethium tanks up the fire escape ladder, and break into a vacant hotel room. You track down the air conditioning unit and together, you pry off the lid. This should lead to the Grand Ball room. Regardless, you assure the Inquisitor, that promethium is very, very flammable, and either way, this building will burn nicely.

The Inquisitor wishes you good luck and goes to talk to the hotel manager about locking the all the doors.

You're about to start pouring when a curious bellboy notices you. "What the FUCK ARE YOU DOING?" He yells.

What do you do?

Have a sudden flash of inspiration and realise we can set the promethium tanks outside the front door, and detonate once the heretics come outside.

>>7986784

We don't know if he's a heretic. Knock him out, then drag him out when we leave.

>>7986784
Tell him to be quiet and that you are working for the most holiest inquisition.

>>7986654

"No offense, sir, but if I were a filthy heretic then I probably would have shot you in the back by now. I mean, that's what dirty, stinking heretics do, right?"

Then, I calmly suggest that if we're really going to do this kamikaze run, I should probably go get another sack of grenades. I sit down the stuff I was carrying, rush back to the armory, grab a pistol, and then snipe the fucking tanks from a safe distance blowing him up along with all the heretics. Then, I call the Arbiters and tell them that an Inquisitor cambe by and did something really stupid and/or brave and that they should probably come by to check if there are any heretics left.

>>7986784
Tell him that you're the extermiantor, here to clean the pool and part of the function downstairs, and what you're doing is for an event for hte function - goo wrestling.

>>7986784
Beat him to death with a promethium tank. BLOOD FOR TH-- ahem. For the Emperor!

>>7986784

Knock him out or kill him, depending on how hard he resists.

For the Emperor.

>>7986784
I'm the repairman, I'm putting coolant into the main AC unit so that the guests can enjoy a cool environment.

One with low temperature.

>>7986798

QUICK! SOMEONE ROLL!

Evens means we successfully knock him out with the sack of grenades. Odd means we fail and he goes off yelling and screaming, possibly alerting the heretics.

>>7986806
SANITY!!!

>>7986784
Tell the kid we're doing some manutention for the Machine Spirit of the vents.

>>7986815
just kill him
he's obviously a heretic

Letting him talk will only weaken our resolve

>>7986784
Don't acknowledge him unless he gets closer. If he does then attack him and knock him out.

>>7986784
Explain politely to the bell boy that what you are pouring down the vent is actually warp-rat poison that keeps the vents nice and unheretical. Tell him to come take a look for himself to be sure and when he bends over to look at the label on the tank slam his head into it knocking him unconscious.

rolled 21 = 21

>>7986828
Rollin a d100

>>7986828

ROLL DAMN YOU! ROLL!

I suggest we try diplomacy first, tell him it's a harmless pesticide.

>>7986857
>>7986844

This.

dice+1d20

>>7986857
>>7986844
>>7986864
Ignore the rolls! do this instead.

rolled 11 = 11

>>7986851

>>7986845

You take a mad swing at him with the sack of grenades, but you miss wildly. The bell boy runs off screaming robbery and sabotage. You try to run after him, but he's got too much of a head start.

You look back, and notice in horror that in your clumsy attempt, you topped one of the opened promethium tanks and now the stuff is spilling EVERYWHERE. Everywhere - that is - except the vent.

You still have another tank left, and some grenades.

Suddenly, you hear shooting from the first floor.

What do you do?

>>7986784
Beat the man down, quickly, while pouring the shit in the vents.

>>7986889
yay!

"It... It... It's really heavy, for God Emperor's sake could you give me a hand please, I'd really appreciate it."

*winning smile, the one you give to your girl when you've just recounted your story about filling form A434*

While he's thinking about what to say next, splash the shit in his eyes (blinding him), kick him in the testicals and kick him in the head a few times once he's gone down.

Continue pouring the fuel, wiping the sweat of your brow and steadying your shaking hands.

rolled 10 = 10

>>7986851
>>7986891
Drop the ENTIRE tank into the vent, followed by as many grenades as we can safely drop.

RUN LIKE CRAZY FOR A WINDOW. DIVE OUT BEGGING FOR ABSOLUTION.

>>7986890
lock the door, obviously.

dump that 2nd tank and toss a nade before climbing out the window to the fire escape

>>7986890
pour fgs pour and throw down the granades at the sam time.

Fgs, throw it all down in one mass

>>7986890
Hurriedly pour the shit in the vents and do whatever else we came to do, and then hop out the window and down the fire escape (Buildings have fire escapes in the grim darkness of the 41st millennium, right?)

Kill the Servitor and fill out the forms to get it replaced. All the while apologizing to the inquisitor for my incompetence.

>>7986890

Jump out the window, chucking live grenades behind you as you do so, only to land safely on a soft canvas awning on a nearby ending.

As the hotel explodes in a giant fireball, you walk calmly towards the camera and put on your sunglasses.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHH!

Lock the door and finish the job. Pour the rest of that shit down the vent, do your duty and get the hell out.

>>7986890

Kick the other promethium tank open, let it spill everywhere, prime grenades, get the fuck out.

C'mon OP, whats your choice.

bump

>>7986923

You're kind of late.

And all of you chucklefucks who rolled, goddamnit, why couldn't we try some trickery first?

>>7986975
OP kinda forced us into rolling

>>7986922

Well, this is a cluster fuck. You twist open the second tank and strain with all your might to stand the thing upside down with the nose squarely inside the vent. You unclip your belt, chuck it down the vent, along with as many grenades as you could manage, saving only one for the detonation. Then, you bungle your way down the fire escape, pull the pin on your last grenade, and throw it at the window.

But in your haste, your trembling hand bungles the throw and the grenade bounces off the rim of the window and drops like a rock along the wall, exploding harmlessly in the alleyway, killing a stray cat in the process.

Oops.

What do you do now?

>>7986999
run away?

>>7986999

Jesus, this is just getting fucking stupid.

>>7986999
Climb in the vent and grab a grenade, then crawl out, go to the fire escape, and try again.

>>7986999

FAIL!

The story was good up to then, that twist is too contrived by half!

Punch the GM.

rolled 19 = 19

>>7986999
GO DOWNSTAIRS. PULL A PIN ON THE GRENADE, ASSUMING WE DON'T FIT THROUGH THE VENT SHAFT.

IN THE EMPERORS NAME!

We like to smoke sometimes, especially when the stress gets to us in the office. We run back inside, pray to the Emperor for forgiveness, and light up a blunt.

>>7986999
grow some balls and go kick some heretical ass, or the inquisitors if it looks like the heretics are winning.

>>7986999
Only choice is to valiantly sacrifice ourself to get this shit to work. Back in we go.

>>7986999
Run back in, grab another grenade and retry

>>7986999
Well we're out of options now you fucktard

>>7986999
I NEVER SAID TO SAVE ONLY ONE GRENADE AND TRY THROWING IT THROUGH THE WINDOW YOU DICK.
Alright alright... Anyway, this fucking sucks. Is the inquisitor nearby? We could requisition his pistol and shoot into the vent in hopes of hitting all of our flammable stuff. We'll probably die.

>>7987041

Well, you could always try praying to the EMPEROR, you unfaithful scum.

>>7987059
NO

>>7986999

Go back into the hotel room, grab hotel-brand matches, light them and throw them into the vent.

>>7986999
This is a hotel right?

Close the doors and get some towels from the bathroom. Wet them and seal all the cracks around the door. Turn on the stove and then try to destroy the gas pipes or cause a leak in them. Then climb out the window, shutting it behind you and run like hell.

>>7987059
The Emperor helps those who helps themselves.

He isnt gonna wake up, gank some Heretics and go back to sleep for me.

>>7987059
>>7987033

My option does include litanies to his greatness.

>>7987068
This.

>>7987059
fine then we go into the vent use the combined heat of rubbing our clothes together to ignite it setting ourselves alight shouting, "For the greater good!"
Like the tau we are.

EXTRA! EXTRA! ASSHOLE GM RAILROADS "VALIANT SACRIFICE!" FURTHERS STEREOTYPE THAT ALL QUEST/ROLEPLAY THREADS ARE STARTED BY SELF-SERVING DOUCHEBAGS!

CUPONS ON PAGE 13!

>>7987086
While praying fervently to the Emprah

>>7987068

In panic, you suddenly remember that most hotel rooms have complimentary matchbooks. Quickly, you make your way back into the vacant hotel room you climbed out of and grab the matches off the table.

In haste, you strike a flame, and tosses it at the promethium puddle. The roar of flames throws you back and temporarily blinds you. You tumble backwards, and fortunately, your groping hands find purchase on the fire escapt railings.

You make your way down to the alley while the second floor burns down around you. You make your way to the front entrance, and suddenly, you see the Inquisitor engaged in a mad shootout with cultists sticking their las guns through the door cracks.

He's not aware yet that the building is burning, and by the time he does, it might be too late. What do you do?

>>7987113
Run to his aid and appraise him of the situation, making sure to stay out of the line of fire.

>>7987113

Close the door and lock it so he burns to death for getting me involved in this horseshit.

Then I go run inventory before my shift ends.

>>7987113

Clearly we inform him the building is on fire. And then we join with him in battle against these cultists, firing blindly.

>>7987113
Tell him that the building is about to blow. Follow his lead.

>>7987113
Grab something nearby and chuck it at him.

Sneak past him then yell 'this mother fucker's bout to blow!' It's best to not let him see you because he being an inquisitor and all he might just blow your brains out for taking too long.

>>7987139
How do you propose we do that if we only have one gun between the two of us, and the inquisitor is qualified to be doing the fighting?

>>7987113

Ask him about inquisitorial health insurance.

>>7987150

Do we only have one gun? I thought he told us to strip ammo everywhere on ourselves.

rolled 2 = 2

Rolling to toss a chair at him full force.

Keep your head down and advance as quickly as possible as near to the Inquisitor as possible. Then tell him as quietly as you can while being sure he will hear you that the building is on fire.

>>7987139
Firing blindly with what, mind bullets?

Stay at a safe distance and yell at the inquisitor that the building's been successfully ignited.

>>7987156
He did, for the purpose of adding more oomph to the explosion, he's the only one with a bolt pistol.

We pull out our Tau pulse rifle and unload it into the heretics with our superior firepower. While once again shouting. "For the greater good".
I am gonna keep choosing the tau option until it gets chosen by accident.

>>7987124

You run to his aid, squat next to him, and desperately tell him that the building is, in fact, on fire. He looks at you, nods, and beings backing out. You hear a crash, as fiery sections of the second floor crash down. A large beam falls downwards across the double doors of the ball room. Quickly, the two of you back out of the hotel.

You watch, satisfied, as the building burns quickly down.

"Not bad," the Inquisitor tells you. "That was fine work."

He thinks about it for a second. "Say," he tells you, "I have a spot open on my retinue. How would you like to work for me, full time?"

What do you say?

>>7987172

Oh jeez, I guess we find someplace with visual range to hide. And call for backup.

>>7987113
"The building is burning. You should leave now, inquisitor."

>>7987187
YES

>>7987187

Tell him that you are flattered but you don't believe that you could provide any useful skill to his already, most likely, impressive retinue.

Failing that, ask if we can take our girl with us, she can make costumes for the Inquisitor while we keep him supplied with materials.

>>7987187
Saying "No," is like saying "Please shoot me."

Accept his offer.

>>7987187
I suppose; that wasn't so hard.

>>7987187
He's an Inquisitor. We accept, refusal will probably lead to death. Besides, we survived this shitstorm, and serving the Emperor in the Inquisition would surely have its advantages.

>>7987187
Sorry, my stats aren't high enough as you can clearly see. My work is here, on this planet.

>>7987187
"With all due respect, sir, I'm terribly honored but I feel like I'm best at serving the Emperor from behind a desk. Filling out forms for His glorious bureaucracy. ...I like forms."

>>7987187
We politely decline but ask if he wants to join the greater good. If he declines get into the devilfish and fly away. If he agrees same as before but now we have a companion.

>>7987187
LOOK AT THE TIME! REALLY MUST BE OFF. TATA!

>>7987211

You tell the Inquisitor, firmly, that while you'd love to help him slaughter heretics in the name of the Emperor, you feel that manning the warehouse is your own little way of fighting for the Imperium.

He nods. "I understand. Well, untl we meet again!"

With that, he walks off into the sunset.


------------------------------------------------

I REALLY REALLY didn't mean to start a quest thread. Just wanted to throw a scenario out there and see what happened.

I'll plan the whole thing out next time, I promise.

Sorry /tg/ :(

>>7987187
Ask if you can get a new name when you join his retinue.

I, being the real inquisitor in disguise who has been tracking some filthy heretic who stole my clothes and my rosette to complete his diabolical plan, suddenly pull out my powersword and bisect the imposter with a single blow.

Cleaning the blood from my hands, I go back to the warehouse supply closet, unlock the door and unty the clerk working the desk who I took the place of to complete my plan, I then excecute him with a boltpistol to keep him quiet and then leave in my thunderhawk transport.

>>7987211
Second option, yes.
I don't think you can refuse and inquisitor so why not go on a grand adventure while having depraved amounts of Emprah sanctioned sex. Get lost in the warp for 10,000 years? No problem. Eventually you'll get gibbed by a genestealer but oh well.

The funniest part is we did this to a cab driver once.

We needed to ask him info, and I didn't really feel like wasting time, so I just showed him the badge and got with it.

We always requested him for a cab ride whenever we were in the area from then on. Kept him in line, that sort of thing.

>>7987239
DAMN YOU OP! I wanted the greater good to live on longer!

>>7987187

If we say no, he will shoot us. Tell our never-to-be-wife we must die for the Emperor.

>>7987239

Yay, we are alive, praise the Emperor.

Now go home and fuck your girl, the guy deserves it after such a rough day.

>>7987187

Though I would be most honored, sir, to continue to fight at your side, I'm afraid I must decline. This planet and it's people need me. I must protect them in the name of the EMPRAH! I shall follow your grand example, and become a CHAMPION IN HIS GLORIOUS NAME!

And also my fiancee is expecting some hot dickings tonight, and there's no force in this universe that would make me want to tempt that woman's wrath. But hey, if you ever need some explosives, give me a call and I'll ship them to you as fast as I can!

Noooo, why must it end here? We could be the next Grendel!

>>7987288
Just might wanna fill out the paperwork beforehand.

>>7987344

Pre-filled, motherfucker. Multiple copies, for each type we stock.

I leap over the counter and rape the Inquisitor with my Slaaneshi 'enhancements'. Then I zip up my pants and say 'Booyah, see you guys I'm going home"

This was a fun read - thread archived:

http://www.suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/7985663/