I bet your sister is high on life.

Dryads die if you kill their trees, bro.

>>8144377
It's easy to tell a dryad's tree from a normal tree.

For starters, a dryads tree has a dryad in it.

>>8144377
That's why you attach yourself to a bonsaii, take your tree, and live in an apartment, ass.

Why is it that whenever I see something like this I want to add Cardassians and labor camps?

>>8144334

Sucks to be you 'hon

>>8144377
And humans die if you chop off their head. What's your point? As long as you don't fell my tree, or the tree of somebody else, we'll be fine. First degree murder is serious..

>>8144505


Dukat you were aweome. Why did you turn gay in the end and suck the cock of false bajoran gods

>>8144603
because sisko had to get to punch him out in mid air while falling into a lake of fire

>>8144601
>First degree murder is serious business

CSI: Central Park?

Do you "self pollinate"?

>>8144652
Wouldn't surprise me. The non-humans have been lobbying to get more exposure in mainstream media for years.

>>8144679
I guess you could say support for the Dryad's cause has been... GROWING.

>>8144696
YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

>>8144696

>>8144696
YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>8144603
He was pretty shaken up over his dead daughter. I think he was one of the more complex Star Trek villains.

>>8144475
I'm pretty sure that the strength/age of the tree is directly related to the dryad's power. I'm not so sure that dryads even can move from one tree to another. They tend to be pretty stuck in one place in every book I can think of that features them.

>>8144696
WHY IS THIS A PUN?
EVERY ORGANISM GROWS
THIS IS SILLY

>>8144334
Back when I was a kid, there was a fundie elf in class who used to call the dryad who sat near me a "nature traitor". I always wondered what he meant by that.

>>8144751
Some of the bonsais are pretty fucking old.

>>8144751
You've never heard of dryads traveling from one tree to the next? >>8144475 understands, I have an adorable little bonsaii for when I need to go out. Back home when I need to rest, of course. Some dryads stick to bonsaiis all the time, but when I tried that I had horrible migraines after the first week. Only the strictest of traditional dryads think you should stick to one tree and place for your entire life.

>>8144668
That's very personal.

>>8144894
Do you trick men into sleeping with you for the same reasons orchids trick wasp?

>>8144334
I'd water you roots, if you know what I mean.

>>8145007

Watersports? Ewwwww...

>>8144768
Dude, all of the racial fundies are damn near intolerable. The worst is how they hurt how the rest of the race looks, I mean, most of the elves I've met are pretty chill, but everyone still views them as dicks just 'cause a few of 'em decide that for no goddamn reason their shit don't stink.

Guess a few bad apples ruing the bunch is pretty much true.

Do you shave your moss or do you let it grow wild?

>>8145007
See, that's the kind of crude behavior towards different Species that makes you humans complete asshats.

No, I don't want to give you a "ride"; if you get anywhere near my posterior, you're going to end up in the hospital.

>>8144894
bonsai

>>8145125
Exactly. Sexual harassment and speciesism at the same time, it's disgusting.

Is it natural that I want to give you a big hug?

>>8145125
>>8145163
Sorry to hear you've been having a hard time with us. I'd like to chalk most of that up to idiots and assholes, which we are replete with.

>>8144334
It pleases me, seeing so many others exploring this strange new land. Welcome, sister of the heartwoods.

>>8145163
Don't flatter yourself. You can't sexually harass things you see as animals. You look about the right size for a pony cart.

You should also look at what my asshat human species does to things that look like you that don't know how to heel.

Now you'll do what you're told, or we're change your name from "smartass horse bitch" to "Alpo".

>>8145125
I say pervs are pervs, regardless of specias. They're universal, so I deny responsibility on behalf of my species!

The state of Human beings is deplorable. I myself am a relatively nice Beholder, but do the fuckers listen? NOOOOO, I MUST BE EVIL, RIP 'N TEAR.

I'll have you know I am a goddamn CEO, faggots. I'm not going to be shooting you with eyebeams if you piss me off; I'm going to be reaching for my cell-phone so that the police can haul your asses to jail.

>>8145394
>beholder
>reaching for my cell-phone

With what, might I ask?

I miss the days when fey creatures were terrors from a primordial age and fucked you up if you DARED step foot on their land.

>>8145462
Telekinesis Ray.

>>8145489
Some time before the bronze age?

>>8145517
Fucking Centaurs, ruining our athletic events.

>>8145489
and i miss the days when the sons of miled could show up in and kick the shit out of the tuatha de danaan. sorry fey-boy. you lost.

>>8145517
Her hooves look really messed up.

I for one have always been an ardent supporter of increased interspecies relations.

>>8145587
those gnolls have no anuses.

>>8145517
What she doesn't know is that one of the other runners prepared Expeditious Retreat this morning.

You know what might help your reputations, non-humans?

IF YOU DIDN'T FUCK WITH HUMANS LIKE RABBITS

>>8145587
Perpetuating the stereotypes. Don't let the Gnoll Activist Foundation see that, they'll go nuts.

>>8145627

For the record, sir, the vast majority of us do not, but stick to our own kind.

But Humans have a remarkably-widespread fascination with those outside their kind, as well as an enormous libido.

If you have problems with half-humans... look first to the human side of things - after all, it is that bloodline which they all share.

>>8145673

>blaming the rape victim

Holy shit, are you serious? You can't be. No one but the Japanese are that retarded.

>>8145225
That traditional armor is very nice. Is the axe a replica, or a family heirloom?

>>8145673
Oh, right, putting humie down. How typical. Blame us for all your troubles.

Don't blame us for your troubles, bud. We may have put non-humans where they are today, but your barbaric counter-cultures are what keep you there.

>>8144784
Imagine if humans could regrow lost limbs. Now imagine an old man who, whenever his arms got more than a few inches long, had them lopped off.

That's a bonsai.

>>8145750
The axe is an heirloom, paseed to me from my sire and his before him. The armor however, is crafted by one of my dwarven allies, from wild boar leather and finely-polished steel.

Checking dryads in d&d... woah. LA:0 ? Really? Wow, that's great,
>Special Qualities: Damage reduction 5/cold iron, tree dependent, wild empathy
Damage reduction at LA:0? That's awesome... wait, what's "tree dependent"

>Tree Dependent (Su)
>Each dryad is mystically bound to a single, enormous oak tree and must never stray more than 300 yards from it. Any who do become ill and die within 4d6 hours. A dryad’s oak does not radiate magic.

Oh. That would make adventuring difficult.

>>8145835
I see no requirement that the oak needs to be alive...

>>8145673
Ooh, ohh that's low...

>>8144894

Dryads do not work that way. You are bound to one tree, as soon as you are born, and yo don't change that, nothing can change it.

Oh hello, what's going on here?

>>8145883
...But can you uproot the ground nearby it without killing it, and replant it somewhere else without harming the dryad?

>>8145835

Shrink Item can solve your problem.

Just get the wizard to be enough of a dick to establish in the backstories that he hijacked your tree and agreed to let you hold on to it, but not to let it be huge again.

>>8145835
>>8145863

And what do those numbers and games mean for us? Arbitrary measures and muddled stories made for entertainment - do you really think every word of those books is perfect truth?

>>8145835
They actually have an LA of -, which means that they're unplayable. I don't really agree with WotC's decision, but that's what they're listed as.

>>8145901

Shrink Item followed by Permanency.

Of course, you can also circumvent the irritating problem of Starting-Level-Is-Less-Than-Five and the obnoxious problem of Wizard-Doesn't-Wanna-Take-Those-Spells by saying that the party's wizard got really riproaring drunk and said "Hey, guys, look what I can do!"

Also. Fucking wizards.

>>8145902

Close enough, yeah. They are based on the most common stories, legends, and what have you.

SUPER GALAXY DWARVEN LAGANN IS HERE, YOU'RE ALL SMALL TIME.

ITT: If 4chan and Shadowrun collided.

I'm okay with this.

>>8144334

Hey, preaching to the choir lady. Preaching to the choir.

I've got a LOT of fertile acres at my disposal, and a LOT of dryads makin' camp out by the pond. It's sort of a symbiotic relationship, really. I harbor them on my land rent-free, and in exchange they help me tend to my... *ahem* crop.

I'm not really sure when the sex started happening, but lets be honest -when there's a bunch of bare-ass naked dryads in your living room all ready and rearin' to go you'd have to be a flaming moron to say "no."

>>8145888

Intercultural exchange, it would seem!

>>8145988

Some of us are leery of the idea of catching Dutch Elm Disease and having to explain why to a doctor that may or may not be leaning on a cane with a smirk on his face.

I honestly don't mind the human male attention. They are so warm to the touch:3

>>8145883
Only Hamadryads are literally bound to their tree, which my sisters and I are not. Please learn the difference before you make broad generalizations about my kind, thank you.

>>8146008

Is that a fucking flintlock 9mm.

>>8145962
Ah, but close enough isn't always true. Much of your human legends are a weave of mistaken beliefs and sometimes even deliberate misinformation given to protect those involved, for humans were not always so openminded as you are now.

My people, for instance... That notion you have that we were the offspring of Zeus in the guise of a bull, and a human woman? Absolute nonsense, and I cannot even begin to guess where it originated.

>>8146008
That's always fun!

>>8146028

A bull impregnating a human? Absolutely ludicrous!

No, sir. A wizard did it.

>>8145517
now that dosent even seem fair.

Since we're anonymous here, I'll be honest. Gnolls scare me. Sitting on a bus next to a gnoll? Please, just leave me alone.

>>8146015

Naw, man. You look House right in the face and tell him "Yes, sir, I fucked a dryad in the ass without a condom. Write me a prescription for penicillin and get out of my way because I intend to do it again."

He'll respect that, because he's an asshole.

>>8146080
Equal opportunity. Hinds shouldn't be forced to race by themselves just because they're not human.

>>8145673
Look, all I'm saying is that the basic motto of humanity is pretty much "WHERE THERE'S A HOLE, IT'S A MAN'S JOB TO THRUST INTO IT!", and there are certain unavoidable consequences of this.

>>8146020
its a shame almost none of your kind live up north

Honestly though, it is almost alarming how much of you humans' goals revolve around either your wealth or your loins. I know you are still quite young compared to races such as the dwarves and my own, and downright infantile compared to the dragons and elves, and so it is difficult to ignore the allure of primal urges... but truly, it's rather immature and makes you all look bad overall.

>>8146108

Uh. The Dutch Elm Disease part is what I'm most frightened of. It makes unpleasant things happen to trees, which have extremely slow metabolic rates in comparison to people.

And I'm allergic to penicillin.

And splinters.

And pain. It makes me break out in these blotchy-black-and-blue spots that look like bruises.

Cities have to build, stones aren't cheap and forests just stand in the way anyway. The solution seems simple to me, a couple dryads standing in the way won't be much of a problem either.

>>8146141
meh
we'll get over it. im sure many of us already have.

I am going to have a centuar as a mount. My traveling companion and I shall ride on its back and we will have wonderful conversations, eliminating the usual boredom in between destinations or encounters.

Also; I am a gnoll cleric and my companion is a kenku monk.

>>8146028
Well, it's a good thing that legend's false, because THAT'S NOT WHERE MINOTAURS CAME FROM. Learn your history, cow boy. Minos asked Poseidon for a perfect bull as a sign of approval, and was supposed to sacrifice it back to Poseidon. Minos liked the bull too much, so Poseidon made his wife fall in love with the bull.

Tl;dr: Lrn to myth right.

OKAY YEAH SERIOUSLY I'M A DWARF AND I'M OKAY WITH YOU DRYADS SO LONG AS THE FORT I LIVE IN DOESN'T GET HARASSED BY YOU GUYS AFTER GETTING ALL PISSY ABOUT US DEFORESTING THE PLACE

SO LONG AS WE TALK IT OVER FIRST I'M SURE THE MAYOR'LL DECIDE TO LIMIT TREE-CUTTING. IT'S WHEN PEOPLE COME ALONG AND SHOOT AT CIVILIANS WHO'RE PEACEFULLY WORKING THAT WE RIP AND TEAR YOU TO PIECES

>>8146141
Bitches and bullion

Life's good.

>>8146134
A warm bed doesn't make up for cold weather.

>>8146202
electrically heated sweaters can help to.

>>8146141
Look, wealth allows us to pay other people to do the necessary shit so that we can spend all of our time doing fun shit. Fucking counts as "fun shit".

"Have as much fun as possible, and set things up so that your descendants can keep having as much fun as possible" isn't such a bad goal for a civilization.

>>8146189
See? You humans have so many variations of the same false tales... how could they be true in any manner?

>>8146141
dont get me started on elves.
a tribe or whatever they call it set up a village right near my camp. last week when I went to chop down a tree to make the trail wider, out of fucking no where I have 6 angy fuckers with bows telling me I cant do this ON MY FUCKING LAND I PAID FOR!
I sware to god I have never been so tempted to start a forest fire.

>>8146276

They're all true. The problem is that we can't accept it and we choose which parts seem believable, then scrap the rest.

Unfortunately, humanity being what it is, we can never really agree on which parts are deemed "believable."

The biggest problem of all is that we hate it when people try to unite us. The last jackass that tried it was a blond-haired freak. His shtick was the Unified Belief Theory. We ended up mocking his ass into the dirt, pissing on his grave, and then making a cartoon named after him and his American-that-wants-to-be-Japanese ways.

Tell me, Mister Bearmaul. Have you ever heard of Naruto and his "BELIEVE IT!" catchphrase before?

>>8146202
It does if you can stay there all day~

>>8146276
oh? and what kinds of origin stories do you have for humans?

>>8146155

Unless you're a plant, you can't actually catch Dutch Elm Disease. If you're squeamish about fucking a dryad infested with beetles and fungus, then don't fuck a dryad infested with beetles and fungus. It's not exactly something they can hide.

I don't care what you'e allergic to.

Lastly... splinters? What the fuck, man? You sure as hell didn't fuck a dryad. Are you sure didn't just rub your dick on a wooden post or something?

Also, I'm not sure why you're talking about pain, but it certainly cements my opinion that you're a gigantic pussy.

>>8146253
To prepare for one's future and descendants is a grand goal, that I cannot deny... but even so, so much of your society revolves around both of them - you even have those who trade wealth for sex, thus bringing the whole thing full-circle! I can think of no other intelligent race who does such things, except perhaps some of the more primitive-minded clans of gnolls and orcs.

While most of use of the other races find nothing wrong with gathering wealth and sharing pleasures, even you must admit, humans tend to go overboard with both rather often more than is likely necessary.

rolled 1, 4, 3 = 8

Alright, humans. Can you dig this?

>>8146388
>even you must admit, humans tend to go overboard with both rather often more than is likely necessary.
because we like to party
and.....
When it's time to party we will party hard

>>8146368

>You sure as hell didn't fuck a dryad.

SON OF BITCH. I KNEW THAT CREEPY MOTHERFUCKER LIED TO MEEEEEEE

>>8146411
is that a fucking liquor fridge built right into her stomach?
thats fucking awsome.

>>8146423
Greatmother's Teats, man, what happened? ...should I call for a healer? That does not look very pleasant...

>>8146411

I like this version of /tg/.

>>8146475

'Tis the modern man's flesh wound.

The heroes from back in the days of old might have taken worse and still shrugged it off, but it's good to see we can still put the scare into you hulking motherfuckers without much trouble.

>>8146476
as do I

>>8146475
He partied 'too' hard, hand him a napkin and direct him to the bathroom, He'll be fine

>>8146388
let me put it this way.
we do these things because we can, no other real reason.
you see that mountian? im going to try to climb it BECAUSE I CAN
you see this bottle of vodka? im going to drink it all BECAUSE I CAN!
you see that dumpster over there? im going to go throw up after drinking that vodka BECAUSE I CAN!

>>8146340
>>8146232
It's very flattering, but it isn't just the cold. The more extreme day night cycle fucks with our hormones potentially damaging our health and it also can cause depression and increase the rate of suicide. :(

>>8146544

You see that moon up there? I'm going to go there BECAUSE I CAN
You see this piece of paper here? I'm going to do the math that'll let me go to that moon BECAUSE I CAN
You see that willow tree over there? I'm going to extract aspirin from its bark so that people can drink too much and not have to suffer from it BECAUSE I CAN
You see that interdimensional rift to a universe filled with nothing but tits of varying shapes and sizes? I'm going to walk right through it.

Because.
I.
Can.

>>8146333

Tell me about that shit, man. I've always got fucking elves and unicorns and ents and shit trying to set up camp out in the back 100 'cause that's where the dryads do their little faggoty flower grotto thing. Well, the BIG one, anyway. My fucking front lawn looks like Mother Gaia shit out a bouquet of pixie dust and rainbows.

Anyway, those pointy-eared bitches sit back there and want to take up space without contributng like fucking hippie communist freeloaders, and they always yell and aim their bows at me but I'll be goddamned if they don't pack up in a hurry when I level a 12 gauge their direction.

I'm actually in the process of having a golem made to patrol back there. Being the dumbfuck that I am though I let the dryads design the thing so it'd if in with the decor they've going going and the motherfucker is as fruity as the chiquita banana lady.

rolled 3, 5, 5 = 13

>>8146544
But can you do... THIS?

>>8146544
I like this explanation of humanity

>>8146557
That... that is saddening. Perhaps you could take up an exercise regimen? Exercise releases endorphins into the bloodstream, which affect the mood in a very positive manner, raising one's moods, and sometimes even going so far as creating euphoria in some people.

Perhaps that, coupled with a hobby or something that one can enjoy, could counter the depression?

>>8146025

It might be! A gnoll's gotta have a wide variety of tools, you know.

>>8146092

Ouch man. Why you gotta be like that?

>>8146505
Do not mistake concern for fear, my friend. My bloodline is made of stern stuff. My surname, Bearmaul, is in honor of one of the mighty deeds my grandsire's grandsire did in defense of his wife and young ones.

While traveling through some dense forest (that at the time was yet unclaimed by the wood-elves and thus full of wild beasts) that lay a few days journey between his farmlands and that of his brothe, his family was attacks by two vicious grizzly-bears. Using only the sturdy blacksmith's maul he had brought with them among some other tools he had borrowed from his brother, he slew both bears each with a single fierce blow to the skull, escaping with only one wound, where the second bear's paw had swiped at his back while he struck down the first, torn through his heavy leather travel-tunic and cloak, and left clawmarks in his flesh.

>>8146601
just set up a big ass music system and blast metal music at the elves for a couple days.
you would be surprised how fast they will leave when they cant sleep and everything worth hunting has run away from the noise.

>>8146616

Wear armor and pose near a window?

Sure. We can do that. Plus, we can have music playing the background to fit the awesome mood we're trying to establish, courtesy of an mp3 player.

>>8146713
but normally our armor weighs around 60 tons and takes 4 men to operate it.

*siiiip*

Ah, such a nice day for tea. What? Nonhumans making trouble for humans?

*siiiiip*

Not my problem, as long as they stay out of MY backyard. Get someone else to exterminate your pests and beasts.

>>8146092
Oh, we're not all cruel! I promise! Just... You know... Most of us.

I assure you, that... uhm... well..

Actually, you know what? Just stay away from us. Most of us are really mean. There are a few exceptions, but... yeah, not worth the risk.

rolled 6, 1, 3 = 10

>>8146713
All right. But I bet...

THIS YOU CANNOT DO!

>>8146544
>>8146594

Ah, but "can", and "should" are different things. As I have said elsewhere, often, in pursuit of these primal goals, humans can be quite reckless and sometimes a danger to both themselves and others. Such a pity.

>>8146766
replace whole organ systems and replace our limbs with robotics?
we can do the limbs right now. as for the organs, give us a few more years.

>>8146766
live as a shut-in inside a filthy home?

You'd be surprised at how good humans are at that.

>>8146702

Awesome. You bulldykes might not be so bad, after all.

My grandfather served in the Vietnam War, where he drunkenly dangled off of one of those basket-things to save the remains of a platoon of South Vietnamese soldiers. He was then presented with a medal from their government for being too balls-out crazy for words.

>>8146709

Yeah, no, fuck that. I'd have the dryads bitching at me way sooner than the elves would leave.

I'll stick with golems and shotguns, thank you.

...

Huh.

Can golems use shotguns?

>>8146788
i see no one told you about the first atomic weapons tests when there was some pretty solid evidence where we might set the entire atmosphere on fire. then we went right ahead and did it anyway.
we have been putting our selves and every living thing on this rock in danger for a very long time and we will contiue to do so.
because SCIENCE!

>>8146766
>>8146616
>>8146411

Ah, the Forgeborn... such strange clockwork creatures... I am so often unsure if they are alive as you and I via the gift of magic, or simply imitating it as a whistle imitates birdsong... for as soon as I start to believe in one theory, I am presented with signs that the other is also true. Quite confusing.

>>8146638
There is still the issue of needing a 12 to 14 hour day for our pineal gland to function right, if the days get too wonky we can run in to trouble. I mean, yeah, most likely we might just get joint pain from a minor hormone imbalance or feel a bit sluggish and have some tolerable sleep disorders but there is also a non minuscule chance we could get egg bound or have our body attempt to enter hibernation.

Hibernation in us is vestigial reaction, we can't actually do it but our bodies will try anyway. If that happens we can get pneumonia and could die.

>>8146851
don't see why not. Just make sure you're very clear on the instructions, like if you handed a golem anything dangerous.

Might be safer to just give him the gun and tell him not to use it. Scare them off fine.

>>8146616
Can your friends do THAT?

Can your friends pull THIIIIIIIS out their little hat?!
Can your friends go, poof! Well lookie here, haha;
Can your friends go Abracadbra, let'er rip! And then make that sucker disappeeeeeeaaaar?

Well don't just sit there slack-jawed, buggy-eyed,
I'm here to answer all your midday prayers!
You got me bona fide, certified,
You got a genie for your charge d'affaires;
got a powerful urge to help you out
So what-cha wish? I really wanna know
You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt
Well, all you gotta do is rub like so - and oh
Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three@!
I'm on the job, you big nabob;
You ain't... never had a friend, never had a friend,
You ain't... never had a friend, never had a friend,
You ain't never had a friend like me. Hah!

rolled 5, 2, 1 = 8

>>8146799
>>8146809
You are confident. Perhaps too confident.

CAN'T DO THIS, CAN YOU?

you dryads and your myspace angles

>>8146851
if you write the chem right.

I have encountered a number of elves before.
every group always has THAT GUY, that sticks out from the rest by not being a prick. I met one of those once. taught me the longbow in a week.

then he told me that he wasn't a he.
elves are strange...

>>8146868
dam that sucks I thought I had it bad when I got in a bad mood when it gets dark out at 5PM
at least I wouldent die, thanks for the new prespective on things.

rolled 2, 2, 2 = 6

>>8146884
I'm afraid not. Robin Williams is beyond their capabilities.

>>8146906
dem titties

>>8146861
Ah yes, you humans and your vaunted "sciences". So much you can describe with them and their cold and precise rules, yet so much else of the world beyond your view is incomprehensible to it.

A medusa's petrifying glare, what does your science say of it? Or how a dryad can meld as seamlessly with her tree as a raindrop melds with a puddle, how does your human science explain it?

You humans one day simply must admit there are things - magical things - that all your logics and calculations have neither words nor numbers to measure and explain.

>>8146902
advance gentic manipulation?
not right now but in the future maybe

>>8146868
Perhaps just living in a house, where you can control the light levels to replicate a normal day would work? I know it's not quite the same, but... If it would help, you know?

Alternatively, why not stay where there's a more normal cycle? And heat?

>>8146955

Why shouldn't we be able to analyze and more perfectly discribe the world?

You MInotaurs have stories about how the world works, why does you old and pontientaly out of date stuff trump the attempts of the now?

>>8146955
Shut the fuck up you faggot cow piece of shit. How about I shoot you in the face? Let's see you scoff at science like an uppity bitch then.

Cold climates and cold blooded just don't mix.

>>8146982
now we get into something else we are so dam good at
violence.

>>8146970
UV lamps aren't a perfect substitute.

>>8146982

Now now, that isn't science in the slightest.

Just because we have discovered technologies used by us doesn't mean that we do science.

rolled 4, 4, 6 = 14

>>8146992
I have an amulet of Feel Heat (Constant). Would that help?

>>8146979
As I said, there are too many things in our world that science cannot explain. Only magic. Science is good, yes, for some things - to know where an arrow will land when fired at a certain angle against a certain wind, for example - but it cannot give answers to everything.

Ok I'm sorry /tg/ but I have to say something. This is really starting to sound like the thousand shitty furry stories I've read. Now before this turns into a shitstorm about furries let me just say I only know this because I actively read furry writefaggotry(primarily pornographic). In addition, it is by no means my intention to call you all furries. I only wish to warn you of their godawful tendency to write poorly and how much this sort of thing carries the same air . Not that this is at that level by any means, it just gives me a bad feeling.
I know this will come off as poor trolling and I am sorry for that I just felt compelled to say something.

>>8147058
If this was ever gonna turn into poorly-written furry shit, it would've done so long LONG before now.

>>8147058
150 posts before someone calls furry is doing good.

>>8147001
Violence and the ignorant go hand-in-hand far too easily and far too often, it seems, as the foulmouthed one ahead of you seems eager to prove.

>>8147058
Don't care.

>>8147117
You're the reason this thread got called furry, you walking steak.

>>8146970
Yeah you could rig up UVA and UVB supplement bulbs and wear a heated jacket all winter if you really wanted to but I don't know why you would.
Stay cooped up all winter in a hostile environment or frolic on a subtropic beach? I know what I'd choose. It isn't like I could ever be a competitive snowboarder, I have no reason to put up with it.

If I was ever in a long distance relationship with a guy who lived someplace too far north or south he could just move in with me when it came to it.

>>8146756

Fine, I'm converting to Kanakoism.

>>8147130
>I don't know why you would.
Stay cooped up all winter in a hostile environment or frolic on a subtropic beach?
I ask myself this very question everytime I wake up and the mercury is below -25 C with a wicked windchill.

>>8147058
I suspect you might have a beef with me then, sorry bout that. I think I ran a good idea to shit with repetition.

>>8147107
I got 5 threads in with Roll and Tell before someone actually cried furry, this is no indication

>>8147130
This is very true. I concede your points.

Ok, lets say you are playing a Geomancer(maining wizard) and are now part plant. How would you go about using your reality raping powers to divert a dryads link to yourself?

>>8146141


Two words why you 'demi-humans' or what the fuck you want to call yourself. Do NOT throw brick when your are the ones living in the fucking proverbial glasshouse.

These two words are: Nymph and Satyr. Two of the most fucking profilic and public demi species. And while the satyr do two things. Get wasted/high and have sex. Nymphs do ONE thing. Have sex.

...Also, I heard that nymphs and dryads share common ancestry that might even be just a cultural shift, not even genetic. What do you say about that.. WHORE!?

YOU KNOW WHAT'S GREAT?

MURDERING PEOPLE AND MAKING THEM INTO THINGS.

I APPROVE OF THESE NEWFOUND CULTURES, AND LOOK FORWARD TO EATING THEM AND CRAFTING THEIR REMAINS AS TOOLS, CLOTHING, AND DECORATIONS.

>>8147129
"walking steak"? My friend, I am a proud and honorable minotaur, not some farm-bred witless dairy-cow, and to call me such would be no more accurate than for me to call a human a hairless chimpanzee - though perhaps not, in your case.

>>8147184
>might even be just a cultural shift
Uh, no. Nymphs are water sprites that don't need to live in water, while Dryads are tree sprites that NEED THEIR FUCKING TREE TO LIVE.

>>8144334
>>hydroponics

So, ilicit herb?

On topic, what do you think of spiders, everyone. Apparently I have some sort of Spider ability where I put n a belt and gain powers, apparently its useful for tricking people, and generally being a troll, but otherwise I just am like every other human I guess!

>>8147205
dude, just to correct your understandable misuse.

we don't EAT dairy cows; thats what makes them dairy; we eat Angus cattle

the chimp thing is about as accurate though.

>>8147220

Actually, Dryads functioning that way is not constant.

>>8147225

>>8147042

I don't see how magic and science cannot coexist.

>>8147225
Some of them are quite tasty after you singe off the hair

>>8147205

>farm-bred witless dairy-cow

Hey now, that's just insulting. There's some minos girls down the road that sell their milk, lived their whole lives on a farm and they're just about the sweetest, most gentle ladies I've ever met. And they sure as hell aren't "witless."

Except Anya.

Anya is, well... she's not too bright.

>>8147220

Yeah. And as I read it, that was because of some shift in philosophy so you used that "racial magic" of yours to shift it.

But of course. This could just be that you look just the same, and as far as I know, it is harder to fight of a dryad who has seen you and wants to drag you to bed, than to convince one.

>>8147238
I am aware of the difference, human.

I must admit the Beholders have a pretty decent space program.

>>8146955

>A medusa's petrifying glare, what does your science say of it?

Electromagnetic field that convert's the body's constituent atoms to calcium in a series of nuclear reactions.

>Or how a dryad can meld as seamlessly with her tree as a raindrop melds with a puddle, how does your human science explain it?

Dryad atoms exhibit both wave and particle properties. When merging with their tree, they become a wave. When out, particle. Similar to electrons when observed.

>>8146884

You can sing, Robin Williams..

But can you do.. THIS?!

>>8147294
SCIENCE!

>>8147272
I was referring to the actual animals, as in the ones that humans domesticated long before you knew of the other races. I assumed that was obvious.

>>8147294

There's a Mahmoud for that.

And it scares me.

>>8147298
WOAH! stop the fucking bus
how did you do that.

>>8147298
A WITCH!!!

>>8147225

Oh my god, there's this spider-bug lady that works at the Farm and Ranch Supply on the outskirts of town.

I'm to understand that she's a terrific employee, but whenever I'm at the checkout line she just does that chittery cleaning motion with her mandibles... oh, god it just creeps me out so fucking much.

Really nice tits, though.

>>8147298
My God, your magics are too much for me!

>>8147264
Not to bad deep fried also, but a little high in saturated fat.

>>8147298

Clearly, she is part lizard.

>>8147341

Listen. Why do we just acknowledge the more publically acceptable nonhuman sentients here? How about me? Even as I am not a pureblood troll, I suffer from the same bad PR as all troll do.

Know what. We could fucken kill any human out there. And another thing, we aren't stupid. We are KEPT OUT OF EDUCATION. Why? Because you humans fear us. You know we are better in ALL ways.

>>8147329
I am surprised some humans still find some of the various odd nervous-habits and such among the other races so strange to deal with...

...after all, we got used to human habits pretty quickly.

>>8147298
well clearly she....... fuck, i got nothing.

>>8147367
oh, such as?

>>8147282
good, I didn't realize you were being sarcastic.
I have trouble with sarcasm, and remembering names, and time, and talking to females of any variety...

is it me or do none of your people have a hard time being sociable?

>>8147360
thats what the niggers keep saying, but we all know its not true.

>>8147367

Yeah.. Says the one whose name isn't common slang for bad behaviour on the interweb.

>>8147383

Listen. My dad ate niggers. They are as inferior to us as any other men. Who cares? Rat = Rat.

>>8147356
I don't see how it is any different than eating shrimp?

>>8147367

Of course you did, you're demi-human.

You already have all our weird traits and habits, and then you made a bunch of new weird traits and habits.

Except for Old Ones and Fae, but we don't talk about them.

>>8147399
>Listen. My dad ate niggers
WELL HOT DAM give this guys dad a medal.

>>8147367

Just because minotaurs are more placid on average then a normal human is no reason to expect that humans get over HUGE INSECTS!

FUCK!

Oh, and I think I know you from somewhere.

...God, /tg/ WTF is this? Minotaurs and half-trolls? C'mon, guys, we can entertain ourselves better than this.

>>8147294

Human. I am a construct made of feces. What science would create me, pray tell? Sometimes I wonder what magic would create me, too, but I am not certain I want to find out.

>>8147367
We don't have to get used to others, being the master race and all.

>>8147433

Just because we can doesn't mean we will.

>>8147417

And this! We can at least keep our own groups unified.

Place two humans in a room? If it is two of the same gender, they'll fight. Otherwise they'll fuck. Until they get bored. Then they will fight. Humanity sucks.

My boss can be pretty awesome sometimes.

>>8147415
Shrimp don't scuttle along my ceiling and creep me out.

>>8147378

While I'm not sure if all humans do this, many of the ones I have met seem to have the odd habit of constantly (and sometimes less-than-discreetly) trying to... readjust themselves... while in public. Shaking legs, shifting bra-straps, grasping at one's groin, picking the seat of one's trousers when you think nobody sees... if your clothes are so tight and uncomfortable, why not simply wear looser ones?

>>8147448
I don't know what about that sentence you read that WASN'T awesome, but I'll take your word for it.

>>8147438

I've made plenty of shit elementals in my time using the ambient power of human semen.

....

It's not like I use my own...

>>8147367
i have seen grown men freak out at the sight of a normal spider or a snake.
imagine how a irational fear of snakes or spiders would translate over to something that is half human half snake/spider.
nightmare fuel, thats what.

>>8147294

science prevails again!

>>8147456
because then they'll fall off.
at least thats what happens to me.

it is no fun at all

Can we go back to talking about dryads?

>>8147457

Because it is impossible for you to get something done.

I claim this is the sole reason for humans uniting against us others. You need to team up to fight and fuck new things.

>>8147452
They might if you were a mermaid or something...
Mermaid? Is that sexist? I don't know the polite nomenclature.

>>8146861
Er, last I checked, there was NO solid proof for such when they did the calculations. As I recall, the calculations didn't stop all of the fears until the tests began.

>>8147294
I was going to say something about supersymmetry but yours is good too. But it's not going to stop my magic=supersymmetry theory!

>>8147438
See! A good application of my ingenious theory!

>>8147485

No, I think she left.

>>8147489
>Because it is impossible for you to get something done.

>>8147499
Aw, boo.

>>8147438

Dude, excrementals are hella useful. They keep the sewers clean and free of debris, they can fertilize fields and gardens, and you can harvest their methane emissions to make fuel.

And, you know... there's the whole scat fetish porn market. Real popular in Germany and Japan.

>>8147494

Eh. I wouldn't know, but some of my friends refer to themselves as merfolk. Suppose genderneutrality is best here.

>>8147495

>Er, last I checked, there was NO solid proof for such when they did the calculations. As I recall, the calculations didn't stop all of the fears until the tests began.

It's people being worried that they fucked up the math, and when dealing with nukes, worrying about ending life as you know it in one bang is pretty sane.

>>8147451
Daemons have actually been infiltrating human society far longer than any of the other races, even the elves and dragons.

Surprisingly, most of them don't actually work as lawyers and politicians, despite some folks claims.

Aha, but there's one thing that we humans have that outdoes anything done by demihumans!

>>8147489
>Because it is impossible for you to get something done.
2

>>8147494
merperson.

>>8147494
they have a word for it.

but all of the local ones just said I should call them 'fish' or by name to avoid accidentally saying it wrong and accidentally insulting people.

>>8147489
>Because it is impossible for you to get something done.
doop doop

>>8147458

How could you possibly make feces from, er, bodily fluids, human? One is not the other, after all. I shudder to think of how you'd transmute them.

>>8147489
>Because it is impossible for you to get something done.
herp

>>8147531

Yeah. The ultimate aspect of speciesism. This is what happens to humanity when you find a group that is mentally superior. You paint them as evil.

Listen. What do you humans think about dumb non-humans, such as goblins.. or kobolds?

Dumb, but cunning, right? This must be how the Daemons (or demons or Daimons, gah cba to be politically correct here) feel. One thing I give you. You ARE exciting to live among.

>>8147565

It's pretty simple actually.

You get a fuckton of shit, a shitton of jizz, and wait a couple days.

Now, getting the shit elemental to do your biddin' is rather hard.

>>8147573
>>8147559

Yeah. And how do you know those were all made by pure-humans?

>>8147556
That might be best... You humans have enough trouble with the myriad of tongues invented amongst yourselves, without bringing in languages for which you might not even have the right shape of mouth to utter properly.

Now, let's all be honest here.

Every red-blooded human male wants something exotic. Everyone wants the asian girl with the blue-black hair, or the punk chick with her piercings. Everyone wants something 'out of the norm'.

So when there's an entire race that's not like us, but is similar enough to breed with, most humans are going to jump at that!

Fae are a prime example-and even though it ends poorly, most Fae/Human couples you see are plenty happy.

On the subject of property/land ownership, why not just deal in fair trade? If they want to stay on your land, cut them a deal. If not...Heavy Metal and Golems it is.

Has any of you ever seen an elemental? Rare, yes, I know. Nymphs and the likes don't count. And I'm not talking about those wildfires in the midwest that get a mind of their own and somebody has to kill with a fire hose. I'm talking about an honest-to-god elemental that speaks and converses (In its' own way) With you.

Fantastic beings are shit tier. None of them can put together a decent civilisation.

>>8147531

Fuck you, we're called demons. No "A." Demon.

I mean... what? That's rediculous. Who told you that poppycock? Someone's been feeding you lies, friend.

...please don't tell the dryads. They might stop sleeping with me.

>>8147589
it's the gill sounds that make things weird.

>>8147583
Because there's no such thing as a non-human sentient capable of that kind of activity.

>>8147594
Seen many fairies flying around in jets? Smurfs with machineguns? Wombles with ferraris?

>>8147590

Nothing wrong with elementals! They are just misunderstood.

Most of them are never even given a chance to understand why what they do is wrong. I bet we could all teach them to be working members of society.

>>8147573
those were made by my ancestors, the great and noble Scorpion Kings. Don't you read papers?

>>8147574
of course, cause if there's one thing we humans know how to do, and excel at, is to find faster, more efficient, and flashier ways to kill one another and lesser species. PRAISE BE TO ZARUS!

>>8147627
Not supermarket ones.

>>8147629
>ignoring medical science, art, philosophy, mathematics

>>8147620

"WHY YOU NOT GIVE KAIGOR THE ETERNAL A CHANCE? KAIGOR THE ETERNAL WANT BE GOOD LIBRARIAN! KAIGOR THE ETERNAL LOVE BOOKS!"

"Kaigor, it's nothing personal! It's just... you know, you're FUCKING MADE OUT OF FIRE."

"...KAIGOR THE ETERNAL SAD."

I wonder if she has tiger print panties.

>>8147629

Yep. Like goblins, just minus the 50+% mortality rate in testing.

We half-fae however (also. If anyone calls me an elf, I'll curse you and your mothers. I mean it.) also have a society. We just merged most of it with yours. After all, if we can blend in this easily. Why shouldn't we?

But let me tell you, the men get really surprised when they find what they really bagged tonight is. And I have yet to find someone who wasn't pleased..

>>8147582

So that was how I was created...

Intriguing, but also rather terrifying.

>>8147518

I never considered the sewer cleanup career. As for the pornographic exploits... I have standards, and that particular line of work never appealed to me.

>>8147662
<_< >_>

.....Elf.

>>8147662
>After all, if we can blend in this easily. Why shouldn't we?
Parasitism. It demeans both parties.

>>8147555
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!? I don't live in a cave! and I don't know any one who does. How the fuck can you ascribe one personality to an entire race? Acting like the whole lot of us are creepy stalkers. That whole think would be laughable if I didn't think people might believe it. Violent? pfffff....

Still if I ever see who wrote this I will give him a good ass kicking.

>>8147652

Exactly. Water elementals? Same problem.

Air. Well... eh.. you might need to chain stuff down and get a cleaning crew after.

Earth? You just need some patience.

Also. I have never figured it out. Are magma elementals fire, or earth?

I think there's one thing we can all agree to dislike.

Fucking dragons. Arrogant as fuck, bigger than a house, covered in goddamn scales, and breathing all kinds of magical shit up in everyone's business.

>>8147629
eh, some do.

I just like little fiddly bits.
guns have lots of fiddly bits, and they smell nice...

whats that boss, you want a better gun?
yes.
can I put little mechanical fiddly bit in it?
yes
come back in 3 hours, with a machinist.

a machine doesn't judge people...

>>8144894
The scriptures say otherwise. You can travel from one tree to the next, but if you leave your home tree for too long, you'll die. So if your tree dies, you'll die too... it's a sad way to live, really.

>>8145943
Of course, a shrunk tree will die without nutrients and water... and it has really short roots too...

>>8147620
Harder than you think, my friend. The natural elements - and by extension, the elementals that embody them - are, in a way, beyond good and evil as we know it. They have a wholly unique way of thinking. Water has no concern nor care that the rain she sent has spoiled your picnic plans, only that she is pleased that the ice melts and the rivers flow. Fire doesn't think about that bonfire spreading and engulfing your toolshed, he just enjoys his flames consuming that which burns and spreading light and heat. The elementals are even older than the great dragons, my friend - they are beyond us to understand, only to call for their aid when needed and hope it suits them to answer that which we ask.

>>8147689
like them. They don't pretend to be anything other than what they are. Demons, fairies (FUCK YOU THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE I REFUSE TO USE ANY OTHER FAGGOTY WORD), elves and what have you try to pass themselves off as people. At least dragons are content to be dragons.

>>8147715

Potted tree. Problem solved.

The druid itself might shrink with the tree, though. That could be a good thing or a bad thing, depending on your perspective.

>>8147678

I disagree. I think we can split the work even and both benefit from it.

After all, I cannot argue against the human spark of invention, likewise, my sheer expertise in magic and history as well as my martial prowess and grace cannot reasonably be set as low as maximum human potential.

>>8147687

Earth. Magma isn't fire, it's superheated rock.

I could see where the confusion comes from, though. After all, fire and magma elementals usually hang out together.

>>8147727

>druid
Derp. Dryad.

I cannot brain.

>>8147736
>magic
There's simply no need for that sort of thing. Why fuck around with magic when you can unravel the structure of the universe?

>>8147726

Ugh. Faerie. Almost as demeaning as elf.

Faerie implies that we are the same as those ditzy pixies. Not true.

>>8147758
>Faerie
I don't think so, faggot. I said fairy.

we need to archive this - I think we are close to or already at autosage.

>>8147767
are we going to do another thread?

>>8147766

Know what. You, and everyone you love would be under such a curse if I could just get someone to figure out a way to draw a true name out of an IP.

>>8147787
Technology: 1, fairy fagmagic: 0.

You know I like when Fey show their true forms. Kinda nice to get past the illusions.

At least they tell me that's their true form.

>>8147758
Faeries can be surprisingly vicious for their size... that sword might be the size of one's thumbnail but it's sharp as any fullsize blade, and even divested of such armaments, they've got wicked little teeth, like a weaning kitten - not much damage, but quite painful nonetheless.

>>8147810

Yeah.. I.. I would do that. But 1, it upsets people, and 2. People don't like to get blinded. I'm sorta bright.

>>8147184
Satyrs are highly sexual, true. But nymphs actually tend to have more control over their sexuality. Just because they're beautiful doesn't mean they are whores. Actually, since they're both Fey, I think they both don't fall within any such stereotype.

>>8147438
Shockmancer staple: When life gives you crap, you make Crap Golems.

>>8147802

Apart from the comment about the sexual orientation of magic (which I think only elf magic has). This isn't really an indication.

We are arguing on a very technological medium. If humans would only allow themselves to do some magic studies (a lot easier than learning to write programs, I add) we could all communicate at speed of though.

>>8147679
I for one love all lizardlike ladies, having never met an unpleasant one.

>>8147830

They are FEY-LIKE. Not fey. Ugh. A crying shame we fey are too few to manage to keep humans from mistaking us.

>>8147858
While I am not one for following stereotypes, I must admit the one about human stubbornness seems rather fitting in this case.

>>8147827
Maybe one day we can make sunglasses powerful enough. Maybe with cybernetics to replace my crummy eyes.

This guy runs a little chemical/alchemical shop down my street. Sells some pretty good hamburger to.

>>8147718

Well personally I think that elementals like those are DICKS.

You can't blame mother nature -a hurrican does what it does because certain conditions were JUST RIGHT to make it form and carry it along and what-have-you. There was no thought or mind behind it, it was just NATURAL SCIENCE! doing what NATURAL SCIENCE! does.

But an elemental? An elemental knows what its doing and either just doesn't care or uses "DERP I'M A FORCE OF NATURE" as an excuse.

If Mr. Fire Elemental wants to go eat a dry field somewher, be my guest. If instead he wants to eat my crops and all the dryads I've got on my acres just because "he's hungry and it feels good" then that motherfucker better be prepared to have a faceoff with the biggest, baddest-ass fire suppression system SCIENCE! can muster.

So fuck them and how old they are. I don't care how long you've been around, you go messin' with shit you shouldn't be messin' with you're gonna get your ass beat.

>>8147858
Why do things on someone else's terms? We're incredibly good at unravelling the laws that make the universe tick and then working with them. Why give up such an effective way of life to pursue the profoundly unsatisfying world of 'Clap Your Hands If You Believe'?

>>8147779
start one.

>>8147896

Yeah, welding goggles work wonders. So I'm just polite, only show people who are prepared.

>>8147922

>>8147929

Food. Porn?

>>8147888
Well, most recorded logs in the archives say that they are fey... and most books of the time announce them as fey... I have yet to see a book that says otherwise.

>>8147830

I recall my main task (before I was jobless, anyway) wa to just lurk in front of a cave and, whenever any enterprising looters came along, leap out to shout "Let us do battle!"

No one ever wanted to stay and talk, which, I suppose, is understandable.

>>8147948

I know.. It is sad.

Probably because some time, at the dawn of things. Someone was slapping all vaguely ethereal nonhumans into 'fey'.

Leaving no room for us.

Then those barbaric elves barge in on the traditional name of 'elf' and thanks to a profilic writer they just knock us away from our very name!

>>8147940
I don't know, something to stop you guys from slinging insults at each other.

>>8147910
Who said it is unsatisfying? It is just as complex and bound by rules as your science - it merely works by a completely differing set of rules.

>>8147982

Yeah. But now they are arguing food..

>>8147888
Well, most recorded logs in the archives say that they are fey... and most books of the time announce them as fey... I have yet to see a book that says otherwise.

>>8147977
But either way around, by the racial categories, elves aren't fey, fey aren't elves. At some point the books diverge from classification of all mythical creatures as 'fey' and translate them into non-existence... then the World opened up and fey were re-categorized into what they are now.

>>8147689

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on(tasty horse meat). You try living forever, and see how well YOU do. Ah, I mean., yeah, those fucking dragons.

>>8147994
Profoundly. Unsatisfying. You can't learn anything about the real functioning of the universe by it. You can't learn anything about the way a star works or hunt down the higgs boson by waving a magic wand.

>>8147994

More logical rules I say. Symbolic sympathy is much easier to grasp then code.

Want to talk to a guy? Get a mirror, or shard of glass, or just a puddle if you are a nymph. Let your mind do the rest.

>>8148027

Wands are for losers. I would never wave around something for the only purposes to give the audience something to watch and it to be phallic.

>>8148027
Nor can you learn the proper words and ritual diagrams to safely summon planar spirits or the right wards to protect yourself from spellfire by studying swirling chemicals in beakers and analyzing moon-rocks with computers.

>>8147689
Sadly most of those have been hunted now. Wands of dragon heart-string, dragon-mail, fire sacs, dragon teeth, bones, hearts, you name it. Cities saw to it that many adventurers would head out to slay one dragon or another, for reasons like the one you just gave. Bastards should be lucky any of them are still alive!

>>8148027

You..ah, kinda can. You can also speed you learning of it in different ways. Magic is merely a different kind of science.

I'll give magic a little more respect if those tomes were, oh I don't know, open-sourced and/or more fitting into the FOSS way.

>>8148078

Yeah! Exactly! Two different things entirely. Also. I bet some dude who specialize in theoretical magic could help you with finding that boson by tweaking chance.

We are very good at tweaking chance.

>>8148078
One day we will figure out why those rituals make the universe do what they want. Then we'll build a machine to manipulate it directly. Science is how.

>>8148078
But why would you want to mess around with spirits? That doesn't help anyone. Fuck around with nature, and you learn the only kind of eternal truths there are. Fuck with spirits, you put yourself at the mercy of total dicks.

>>8148088

Yeah, ah...half or more of that stuff was made from "All Real Dragon!". IE, it really was not.

>>8148106

The problem here is the traditionalists don't get along with the ones who are even as pro-tech as I am. If any humans would still study magic, the old guard would probably listen. But now what do they say? What use is it for human-compatible magic, if they don't make fey-compatible technology?

>>8148098
Indeed.

Magic and science are two sides of the same proverbial coin. Each can explain things the other cannot, using rules known only to itself.

>>8145517
>>8145125
ORLY?

>>8148119

Or dicks at the total mercy of you, mind you.

>>8148139
> Each can explain things the other cannot
And only one of them is relevant to everyday life for your average homo sapien. Magic's nice, but it can't feed a billion hungry people.

>>8148122
I'm saying there was a rather recent period in which dragons were hunted for their 'raw materials'. They might be surging back now, but I haven't heard about it.

Oh, I love human science. Among other things everything just makes sense. Try casting a fireball when you know how hot gas is supposed to expand. Messing with the rules is much better when you know them.

>>8148156

It can. Complicated and exhausting, but it can. But there are simply not enough magi at the proper level to do it. If you humans would just.. take.. a few steps towards magic. It'd help. It'd help us all.

>>8148137
fey-compatible technology... human-compatible magic... Greatfather's Horns, all that those two phrases bring to mind is the image of some hapless wizardry apprentice, trying to dislodge pop-up advertisements from his scrying crstal...

>>8148173
Well, doesn't superheated air rapidly expand, I.E. in an explosion of fire?

>>8148176
Alternatively, we could stay the course and make the universe our bitch.

For thousands of years, the human race almost universally held mystical, magic-centred world views. In the couple of centuries since such nonsense has been left in the dust, we've advanced far more than in all previous history.

>>8148192
tl;dr, steam trains are cooler than unicorns.

*holds up three fingers*
Also, Clarke's laws...

1. When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
2. The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
3. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

And allegory to it:
4. Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.

>>8148215
>4. Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.
That webcomic is bad and you should feel bad.

>>8148215
Oh, and credit to a Mr. Ponder Stibbons for the allegory.

>>8148192

Need I stress the fact that the 'magic-centred' worldview was based around the 'center' that magic i bad, wrong and sinful?

Mankind forced you away from easy understanding, and forced you to take the hard route.

Come, the social stigma of being a magic-user is all but gone now. Come. Embrace it. You know you want to.

>>8148215
>Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.
Smells like cow poop.

>>8148225
Which... webcomic?

The Demihumans seem to have magic that works. Don't know why or how and seemingly neither do they. They make their little ritual circles and make appropriate sacrifices and bam they altered the universe somehow.

It's up to people like me to use science to figure out the how behind their magic.

>>8148233
>Need I stress the fact that the 'magic-centred' worldview was based around the 'center' that magic i bad, wrong and sinful?
This is utter bullshit of the highest order. Even in the height of Catholic fervour, magic was an everyday fact of life for a medieval peasant. It wasn't until very late on in the middle ages when witch hunting ebcame a fun time for all the family that magic was universally seen as the bad guy.

>>8148192
it is only "nonsense" because humans, admittedly, even in the days before you latched onto the sciences like a hungry infant to its mother's tit, never really had much interest in exploring magics on a personal level. Sure, you had the occasional ritual or chant now and then, but never tried going deeper.

I've also heard people say "any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced."

What does this mean? Humans want magic. Just will not admit it anymore.

>>8148257
Hahaha, oh wow. Before Newton and his lot, science literally was magic.

ITT abhumans tell the dominant species that they're doing it wrong and they *really* want to be like the parasites that feed off human society.

>>8148261
It means that if it seems wonderful and fanciful, then it is no different from magic, which operates on the same premise.

>>8148254

Listen, it was early middle ages. Believe me.
But you are correct in that it was used later on, but in the form of christian rituals.

Now there is hypocrisy.

>>8148278

Hey! I like humans, I just can't comprehend you. But I do my best to teach, and my best to learn.

>>8148288
>I KNOW BETTER THAN ALL THE RECORDED CHRONICLES OF MAN
Hoo boy.

>>8148215
Arthur C. Clarke is awesome.

I don't understand where the problems are in this thread... magic clearly exists as science, and science clearly exists... as magic. They're one and the same and whatever you want to call it, it's the same thing.

Just because it's magic doesn't mean you can't explain it, and just because it's science doesn't mean you can explain it (at the moment).

>>8148308

Hey, I was there. And if I had actually cared about humans at that point.. I would've been able to give you very exact descriptions.

But as it is, I think it was about year 900 that magic really started to become stigmatized down in europe. Later up here of course, but still.

It might have been so that the bans didn't touch deep enough until then.. I don't know about that. But magic faltered at christian spread. I am sure of that.

>>8148247

If you don't have the right grounding, it will just explode in your face. Mayhap the reason you have advanced this far, THIS TIME, is because you finally stopped willy-nilly messing with magic, but are starting to stagnate, because you ignore it?

This was cool until you started rewriting history. Later, neckbeards.

>>8148357

Come on.. You know as well as I do that miscasting is what makes magic interesting. You never know what will happen if you screw up.

>>8148344
Religion often finds both magic and science as its enemies. Might I suggest avoiding such a mutually-dangerous topic here?

>>8148344
The concept of understanding their magic is something the demihumans have either not tried or given up on. Humans on the other hand have made a method for it.

The demihumans will get on board with the understanding stuff as they integrate with us humans more.

>>8148357
We don't need it, though. Sure, a powerful wizard o whatever they're called might be able to do all sorts of cool shit, but a dabbler won't be able to. With science, everything is repeatable by anyone. It's just better.

>>8148357
Stagnate? Far from it friend. Magic will be understood in good time.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=monkeys-see-monkey-do-wit

Science is never satisfied. Like a greedy sow at a feedtrough, it consumes and consumes, insistent that everything can be explainable and measured. And when it finds something it cannot explain, the whole effort falls apart.

Magic, however, innately understands that some things cannot be so perfectly measured and precisely understood, thus when it finds something it cannot explain, it merely accepts this and continues onward.

>>8148354
I don't think you can blame a religion for something so much as blame its leaders and extremists. Not even all mages advanced their field into the forward direction. I bet some even regressed it.

>>8148388
Generalizing 'religion' into a single category is rude and disrespectful toward religions.

>>8148402
Not exactly true. You can copy the scripts from another wizard's spellbook much as you learn science from textbooks, and use it in much the same way. The reason why one wizard's spellbook isn't much like another's is the same reason you wouldn't be able to learn your science in Germany: the books are in different languages.

>>8148452
Yes, until it is explained! Then the books are rewritten and science accomodates to new theories, and the scientific method presses on! Nothing is fact, everything is theory, which is close to fact but is not 100% sure.

>>8148452
>Magic, however, innately understands that some things cannot be so perfectly measured and precisely understood, thus when it finds something it cannot explain, it merely accepts this and continues onward.
Which is utterly ridiculous. When you get down to it, everything can be picked apart. This is simple fact. There are no unsolvable mysteries in the physical universe, and anyone who decides that there's some arbitrary lien at which enquiry must stop is the one who embraces stagnation.

>>8148452
Oh it's hard to understand that must make it impossible to. Okay bub. The very fact that these rituals work when done properly is testament that they can be understood in that respect.

If it is something so far beyond our comprehension that we can never understand it then we will forever try to understand it.

>>8148508
>If it is something so far beyond our comprehension that we can never understand it then we will forever try to understand it. Then we'll break it.
Fix'd.

>>8148488
Indeed... while there are facets of itself magic has no perfect explanation for, at least some of it does have definite answers, not merely piles upon piles of elaborately-written guesses that change like the passing of seasons and almost as frequently.

>>8148528
Does the fact they're informed guesses change the fact they've allowed the human race to shape the world as they see fit?

>>8148528
No, but that's just the thing! They aren't just guesses, they're tried and true, but still can't be held completely sure in case something 'breaks', changing how the theory works!

I mean, look at the sun. It moves from left to right in the sky, around the Earth, am I right?

*sarcastic grin*

>>8148528
This is ridiculous. These 'guesses' split the atom. They created the microchip, unravelled the human genome and allowed the surgical enhancement of tits. Science is the motherfucking boss.

Know what happens when you try to explain everything there is to explain about magic?

It binds itself to the rules you "insist" upon it having, loses its flow and flexibility, and becomes science, just like how freezing water in a bucket gives you a round chunk of ice.

What happens when you accept that some things simply cannot be explained by anything by belief and powers beyond mortal knowledge? Science loses its rules, begins to bend and flow again, and becomes magic. The round block of ice melts into a shapeless puddle again.

>>8148582
I think for once Shakespeare is in order:

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."

Call it magic, call it science, it's the same thing. What do I have to do to make this clear?!

>>8148594
The universe doesn't work like that, nigger.

>>8148568
Indeed... that's a solid a scientific fact as the earth being flat and the night sky being a huge black dome covered in candles.

>>8148603
>It's the same thing.
mag·ic (mjk)
n.
1. The art that purports to control or forecast natural events, effects, or forces by invoking the supernatural.
2.
a. The practice of using charms, spells, or rituals to attempt to produce supernatural effects or control events in nature.
b. The charms, spells, and rituals so used.
3. The exercise of sleight of hand or conjuring for entertainment.
4. A mysterious quality of enchantment: "For me the names of those men breathed the magic of the past" (Max Beerbohm).
adj.
1. Of, relating to, or invoking the supernatural: "stubborn unlaid ghost/That breaks his magic chains at curfew time" (John Milton).
2. Possessing distinctive qualities that produce unaccountable or baffling effects.

Contrast with:


a. The observation, identification, description, experimental investigation, and theoretical explanation of phenomena.
b. Such activities restricted to a class of natural phenomena.
c. Such activities applied to an object of inquiry or study.
2. Methodological activity, discipline, or study: I've got packing a suitcase down to a science.
3. An activity that appears to require study and method: the science of purchasing.
4. Knowledge, especially that gained through experience.

>>8148528
No. A scientific theory is comprised of empirical data and observations. They are demonstrable and thus more than a formal guess (which is a hypothesis). You make your hypothesis and test it. When you tested it a bunch and other have confirmed it you have a theory.

I make a summoning circle and summon a sprite. That is verifiable and demonstrable. We don't know the why or how yet but we are working on it. Miscasts shed a lot of light on how this process works though and I think it is through those failures of the ritual that we will come to understand them.

>>8148610
Neither of those 'facts' are scientific conclusions. Neither of them are the results of the application of methodological naturalism and the scientific method to empirical evidence.

>>8148594
Why can't I expand on magic? Let us take a simple spell: telekinesis.

*scribbles on an oversized scroll a pointed arrow, and sits wide-legged, pulling the scrap from the whole. The scroll itself remained untouched, by some form of magic/science, of course. He pointed this arrow at a thumb-sized pebble on the ground, and touched his hand to the scroll. The paper lit up, promptly obliterating the drawing from its surface, and the rock went flying, striking a stone face, and falling down again.*

You see? I can make a scroll like that and teach someone what it says. Once it is understood, then he or she can manipulate it in the same way. Maybe he or she will use abbreviating symbols different than mine, but it will mean the same thing to them or myself.

>>8148655
>*emoting*
Way to ruin the thread.

>>8148619
A dictionary contains definitions for modern times, and is highly subjective to them.

If I told you I was gay, what would you think I meant?

>>8148661
I wasn't under the impression we were under any level of truly serious business.

>>8148633
science considered them both "facts" once, based on the same observations and methods as you do now, just the means of measurement were less detailed than now. They saw the sun seem to move across the sky, and thus it was a fact that it did for nothing could disprove it. They saw that stars flickered like candles, therefore that must be what they were. They did not see the earth bend as they walked, therefore it must be flat.

Use what words as you will, but a guess is still a guess, no matter how long it takes to prove it wrong.

>>8148676
>science
You're applying the modern meaning to a time when science was magic. This is no exaggeration: the science of the time was closely linked with such nonsense as numerology, astrology and alchemy.

>>8148594
A good analogy, for a shapeless puddle is useless as a building material, in contrast to a chunk of ice.

>>8148633
Question: Does the Sun revolve around the Earth?
Research: I can see the Sun passing by me every day, but I am not moving.
Hypothesis: The Sun revolves around the Earth.
Experiment: (insert Copernicus/Galileo here)
Conclusion: The Sun does not revolve around the Earth, the Earth revolves around the Sun.
???
Profit.

>>8148676
A man named Isaac Asimov has already addressed your point to a degree I could barely do justice. We are refining our knowledge and becoming less wrong and just because we were wrong before doesn't mean we are as wrong now. We will understand your magic minotaur. It's only a matter of time.

http://chem.tufts.edu/AnswersInScience/RelativityofWrong.htm

>>8148705
Fuck yeah Asimov. Wise motherfucker.

>>8148676
Surely your efforts have to be defined by something, however. You can't just dismiss everything you find out as a 'guess'. When you cast a spell, are you 'guess'ing what you cast? No, I'm pretty damn sure you know what you're doing, not hoping that it won't spontaneously go wrong. I'm perfectly willing to accept a 99% rate of success for something as near fact. If something I find out tells me otherwise, I'll reconsider it!

>>8148705
This man is wonderful.

The hour is past late, and my eyes grow heavy. The urge to sleep fogs my mind. We shall continue this another time.

420 court satyrs erryday.

Protip- in science, if you can't explain something now, you come back later and do more experiments.

>>8148772
Myself as well. I think I'll sleep right here. G'night neckbeards.

Good point.