>>8199393
That thing is adorable. It's either a baby hanar or a phazon Metroid.

Aren't all the dragon's that aren't metallic evil? You realize your DM is evil and a troll right?

>>8199432

It's clearly a shota mindflayer.

>>8199447
'evil DM' is redundant.

OP, assuming you have another cavern to play in, kick him out or stop going. It can't be hard to find another DM, just try not to get one with a racial history of being killed by adventurers.

>>8199462
>shota mindflayer

Should... not have caught my attention...

>>8199462
>this post

Dude...

Fuck, /dg/, sorry to whine but I need to get this off my chest.

NEVER let a human play in your games. Fucking NEVER. Our local group has a few, and absolutely every damn game is full of 'you never let us succeed' whining delivered by a bunch of pinkskin faggots. They also have a massive bone to pick about 'discrimination' and won't shut up about it, until I finally pull a 'dragons fall everyone dies' and get told that 'your games are no fun, you hate adventurers'.

Speaking as an aboleth--

whenever I run a game, everyone turns translucent and goes insane and start sucking up to me hardcore. It really sucks. Any advice? I just want to DM something entertaining without turning everyone into mindless slaves.

>>8199530
Try DMing over the Internet.

>>8199518
Oh come on man, you don't know how hard it is to match your fucking standards, ok? Don't you fucking start with that shit, and don't you dare look down on us, pity us. I'm doing just fine for myself and then I have to always get upstaged by someone with 3 times the strength I'll ever have and then everyone else starts comparing the two of us?

Fucking bullshit. Yes, I am mad. Humans for life.

>>8199556
This, seriously. You fucking mythological creatures are so fucking high and mighty, you treat us like we're -deliberately- small and fleshy and unable to even carry a full chest of gold, let alone amass a horde. Why, if we were born with wings, claws and a shining coat of scales, we would be just as amazing and graceful as the dragons!

>>8199556
As a dragonborn, I cannot fully back this on a moral background, but I wholeheartedly agree. Also, hate being in between human players and dragon ones, especially DMing.

Shit gets awkward fast.

>>8199589
Scalyfag detect, go back to /myth/.

Speaking as a Gnoll DM, Humans can be pretty okay to play with. They can be Brutal as all get out, and sometimes as cunning as a goddamn Dragon. They're insanely fun to run a game with, but it helps if you can reign in any other races playing. Maybe give the Human some extra baubles, some magical things. They eat that shit right up. Actually, the more I think about it, the more humans remind me of fleshy, pink dragons...

>>8199642
Fuck you, mongrel, you're out of line.

>>8199556
Funny hearing that from you primarch : D

>>8199642
(Dragonborn dude again, here)
How do you think I came to be? Wasn't no plastic surgery, my parents are seriously fucked up individuals.

FUCKIN FREAKS, HUMANS FOREVAR

>>8199642
... At least you're charitable. Quit it with your "Monstrous Creatures Burden" thing though, we don't need your help, though we appreciate it.

>>8199666
Hey now, if I'm anything, I'm human. First and foremost.

>>8199661
Oh, come on, scales. You know they are. Think about it. Obsession with power, dominance, worship... Magic... Magical items... TREASURE... You know it's true.

>>8199698
From what I saw space marines don't think of themselves as "humans" anymore.

What would the game turn into if the DM was a drow female?

>>8199393
.. where the fuck did you get my baby pictures?

>>8199722
FATAL.

>>8199723
Ridiculous. Illithids are born as tadpoles.

Uh, what the fuck is going on in this thread?

I swear, I was just reading about Juicer DM's a minute ago.

Damn Rifts.

>>8199729
Aw snap.

*Frumble*, /tg/, sorry to *blow* but I need to get this off my *bed*.

NEVER let an *Orz* DM your *party*. *Frumbling* NEVER. Our local *campers* is run by a red, and absolutely every damn *campground* ends in a *squirting the juice* delivered by a *silly cow*. He also has a *pineapple cone* for caves and dungeon *carving*, where we finally *dance* the boss encounter and get *spit* that 'a dragon already looted the cave before you arrived'.

Shit is *squirting the juice*. I swear, if he pulls one more *silly cow*, the Ariloulaleelay is going to put the DM's head through the *surprising toys*.

>>8199698
Oh, of course you don't need my help, pinky. But isn't it nice to have a few extra magical items to help show up those darn minotaurs when they get all high-an'-mighty? You know a magical sword tickles your fancy...

>>8199694
Greatfather's Ivory Horns, why can't these assholes leave us alone?!

Riitchik, /tg/, itkii-chrk ititik chriik.

Humans aren't that bad to play with, sure some of them can be real jerks but others can get into character pretty well. Better them than the Kobolds anyway.

>>8199758
Oh, fuck you. At least kobolds won't have a fit when the DM doesn't give them everything they want.

What if the DM was a werewolf?

>>8199758
Good GOD, you are so right. KOBOLDS, man. I'll let them play in our group, but... I DO NOT like it.

Sneaky little cowardly bastards... ALWAYS the first to run or backstab a group member. Sometimes both.

>>8199758
confirmed for silver dragon.

>>8199782
Some rare few can be pretty cute~

>>8199779
You're playing hockey and your McGuffin is coffee.

>>8199782
Says the fuckin' -gnoll-. Tiamat wept, you fuckers have -no idea- how wrong the media are about us.

Sure is Tales of MU in here.

>>8199751
Look, would you stop calling me "Pinky"? How would you like it if I called you "Spotfur"? And like I said, thanks for being sympathetic, but you just don't get it, do you? We can make it on our own, ok?

you guys have nothing to complain about
try playing a game with your DM as a bunyip
theres only so many times your party can suddenly be dragged into lakes
just discrimination because i wasnt born in this country and wanted to play something closer to home like a dwarf

>>8199393
Ah, the so-called 'TPK'.

>>8199841
Let me guess, you're a whitey? The bunyips have been on the receiving end of a lot of anti-native sentiment for about two hundred years, it's natural that they're pretty pissy about it.

>>8199818
You read that shit?

>>8199863
A few chapters. I gave up when I realized it was just lesbian BDSM with a thin veneer of modern fantasy.

>>8199876
It's not that thin a veneer, really, but yeah.

>>8199863
>monstergirl D/s lesbian fapfiction

Man, I don't care if it's shit, it is delicious. And boy did it give me some fetishes.

>>8199818
>>8199863
Whats Tales Of MU?

>>8199824
For what it's worth, I think you humans are all right. For the most part. Granted, the few of you who are intentionally total fuckheads... like that Silver Flame thug a few posts back... when your kind get into moods, you really go all-out. Makes me wanna kick your ass so far my hooves scrape your back teeth.

But other than them, for the most part, you guys seem pretty cool by my book.

>>8199890
modern-fantasy-college lesbian BDSM writan.

>>8199806
pond hockey doesn't need an ST, blackey

not going to be ref either and have 5 or 6 pissed hunter-anons angry about a call and chase me either

>>8199876
>>8199885
>just lesbian BDSM with a thin veneer of modern fantasy
>implying that's a bad thing

>>8199890
A story about a university populated by high fantasy monsters as well as humans. Ridiculous meme density and frequent bad erotica.

>>8199896
FUCKIN COW, GO BACK TO THE PADOK

>>8199809
The Media? You're blaming the -media-? I'm surprised you even worked up the courage to post! Yeenoghu's guts, I swear... You lot can't stand and fight for shit. -Every- Kobold I've ever gamed with played a rogue. Well, except for this one... He played a Paladin. He was the best paladin I have ever seen.

Alright, on second thought, Kobolds aren't awful. Just... cowardly. Mostly.

>>8199824
Hey now! I know a Gnoll named spotfur! But I get your point. But I swear, if I hear any more whining about how much better the other races are than you...

>>8199908
It's pretty decent erotica, if you're into that sort of thing. My girlfriend eats it up. It's the whole "characters with established personalities and shit" thing that does it for her.

I've never had the chance to play any tabletop games. Probably because the only people I could play with would be horrible warp-spawned abominations and they don't really sit still long enough to roll characters or anything.
Sigh~~

>>8199899
Mein Gott.

>>8199900
Well how should I know...

Elves are fun to play with sometimes, but God forbid if you're playing in a Modern or Sci-Fi setting with no Druids or Rangers.

At least Dwarves can improvise somewhat, but you shove an Elf a game with no Magic (Or hell, even shit that acts kinda like magic, Psykers come to mind in DH.") and they get pissy and decide not to play.

>>8199860
yeah i just get enough of that crap at work from my boss who is always telling us because he's half bunyip that means he's descended from the rainbow serpent and deserves compensation, and treats everyone except his frillneck of a girlfriend with utter contempt because of "the occupation"

>>8199918
Look, puppy, I don't go around crying about the small number of gnolls I've played with proving that all gnolls are elitist assholes, do I? You ever played with a kobold over the age of twelve? Hell, have you ever played with one who didn't grow up under a dragon's thumb or in a mixed city?

Fuckin' speciests.

>>8199896
Thanks, I guess. You know, those Silver Flame fucks mean well, but they're a little loose up there, you know? And that's the best of em. Religion sanctioned racism is bad, no matter what the motives or intentions; they're doing as much harm to the cause as anyone else, it really irks me sometimes, its just such an uphill battle, you know?

...

Actually, I guess you wouldn't.

>>8199941
should know because you'd be goaltender if you showed up, blackey

could be a night-time game

>>8199918
I once played with a Kobold bard. He was a pretty cool dude.

>>8199917
Say that to my face and not a forum, you walking pile of ogre puke.

>>8199967
LOL I DONT TALK 2 LIVESTOCK

>>8199955
Silver Flame guys have one redeeming feature!

...Loli, little brown girl pope.

>>8199992
Meh..

At least there are no naga in this thread.

Fucking snakes.

>>8199951
... How do you tell a Kobold's age, anyways?

Hey, I'm no speciesist! I'll let them play, I won't make fun of them any more than any other race, but... Kobolds, man. Seriously. And what, do you expect me to grill them on their background before we play? That's not cool, man!

>>8200014
At least its something!

>>8200014
russ would play defence, right?

>>8199980
That's okay... Your girfriend was saying my name plenty last night while you were at your little racist jackass meeting.

OH YEAH.

Hi everyone! I was studying, so I couldn't get on until like later. Did I miss anything?

>>8199917
You again? Didnt I warn you last time?

>>8200029
Speak and they shall come, you fool! They're like Satan or Jon Chung. Even mentioning them has the possibility of summoning them!

Say what you want, banging the DM feels good, man. She's a gnoll, too, and gets all bitey. I like.
If I can say one thing: DAT ASS.

inb4 'don't do your DM'

>>8200029
Inb4chubbygorgon

>>8199980
technically you just did you obvious troll.

Could I.. Play with you..?

>>8200029
Man, Naga... They freak me out a little.

>>8200050
Man has taste. And bones of adamantium.

We are confused. Rebellion against the Master of Games is an inconceivable crime among our people. Why does the Master tolerate insubordination? Why is the poster of this thread allowed to live?

>>8200079
um... who are you?

>>8200029
Hey, that's not cool; I'm not happy with any sort of specism; I just concentrate on Humans

>>8200037
Meh.

>>8200040
Those kids wanted me to play defense for their rugby team; I regret not taking them up on it.

>>8200050
Dude! Don't be the DM's girlfriend! Seriously I don't care if you're a guy, if that's a Gnoll female, you're the girlfriend. (bad experience)

>>8200044
Heya.

>>8200079
No. Fucking collosi. Unless you get that drone body charm, no way. We have to reorganize my basement and shit whenever you want in, and last time you bumped my wall and scraped all that paint off. I liked you more when you were smaller.

the only thing i hate about playing with commisars is that if you get them killed they shoot you for heresy.

>>8200042
Hi Gornod!
>>8200101
Hi!

Man, I ditched my group about a week ago. The fuckers put a silver crucifix on my chair, I haven't been able to sit for days.

Feels bad, man.

>>8200130
>>8199930
Fucking trollplayers, stop shitting up our discussion thread.

>>8200142
Shit man, that sucks. Im still getting over some minor silver poisoning myself.

>>8200101
Yeah, yeah, all that butch-whatever about matriarchal societies is bunk. Make the DM your bitch on the first day, and you'll be fine. Like prison! :D

>>8200153
YEAH
I SAY WE BAN THE NAMEFAGS

ALL OF 'EM

>>8200139
Heya, Kate! How's it goin'?

>>8200165
SECONDED.

>>8200177
>>8200165
We just need a truenamer on the mod team, then we'd be set.

>>8200142

they could have dragged your coffin out at noon and gave you a tan instead

>>8200153

>>8200115
That's cold. Just because someone achieved a new level of transcendence and got a brand new giant body, no reason to not hang out anymore. Think of how awkward that must be for them. Just find somewhere to play that doesn't need to be kept in decent shape or just bigger.

Speaking as a Troll I must say that DnD is for gigantic faggots

>>8200139
Hello lass.

>>8200161
Guess I'm just a bitch then, huh?

>>8199393
Oh you whiny little bitch. I'm capable of putting up with the bullshit my human DM throws at me or telling him to stick it up his tiny frail backside, why aren't you capable of manning up and letting your DM know how you feel? Pussy. It's no wonder we're the superior species.

>>8200187
Not a good plan, man. I llurked on a forum that had one of those once... pretty-much had to lurk as anonymous if you didn't wanna catch hell from the admins for even tiny shit. Truename shit is a major headrush, and with one of them on sys-op duty, getting an IP-ban is the least of your problems.

>This thread

>>8200188
Oh, it's the fake lycan.

How's it going, pinky? Still pretending you're part of our pack?

Fucking lycanfags, if they knew how much of a pain in the ass it is to pick fur out of your breakfast every morning they'd be slower to cry 'DERP HERP I M A WEREWULF'.

>>8200173
Oh hey Gornod, remember Kelly from our political science class in college? The foxgirl?

>>8200203
>Speaking as a Troll

It's not often you get this kind of honesty on /tg/.

>>8200173
Good! But... school is getting busy so I have a lot of work. And I have a geography test on Wednesday.

watcha up to?

>>8200231
Oh, the fur's not -that- bad! And at least you guys don't have to bathe three times a day just to be able to hang out with your pink friends! Seriously. Gnoll fur.

AWFUL.

>>8200231
wouldn't be caught anywhere near your wyrm-tainted pack, anon

you ever vomit up something with a wedding ring in it? then don't talk to me about fur in your cheerios

>>8200246
Dude, be a bit more polite - she was from Japan, they're called "kitsune" over there... or did you think those two extra tails were just imaginary? Anyway, yeah, I remember. What about her?

>>8200231
Hey now, they're people too. And anybody who pisses those silver flamers is a friend to me.

>>8200208
Ouch... My sympathies?

It's not bad, actually, if you are willing to put up with it. It really takes a certain personality type to do so, and entirely another to not do so when dating a gnollchick. I have no love for my ex, a damn tauren. Passive-aggressive milquetoast bitch.

>>8200282
Hey now, I hold no one's smell against them, even if I have to bring a scarf and scented candles to every game.

>>8200288
Actually, she doesn't really care about terminology. Shes a third generation immigrant and all. Anyways, we've been dating for a couple years, and I was thinking of asking her to marry me.

>>8200282

Hang out with neckbeards. They don't notice the smell anyway.

>>8200305
Incense? :D

>>8200305
That's... actually very considerate of you.

I take it you game with Gnolls? Player or GM?

>>8200288
Fuck, I can stand you straightforward furries in small doses, but by Pelor the foxes make me want to demolish a township. Fucking foreigners.

>>8200298
Watch the slang, bub. "Tauren" is what those "Craft of War" game guys are called. Real ones are Minotaurs. I don't call your kind "Elvaar" or whatever like the ones in the LAst Fantasy game, do I? Show some respect, for Ancestry's sake.

are there any kroot in here? i want to play with someone other than guardsmen. its always swarm this and swarm that. hell id rather play with a nurgling than one more damned guardsman.

>>8200350
Dude, take your roleplay to another thread, please.

>>8200343
HEY, YOU WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE? CAUSE ITS RIGHT HERE, BITCH!

>>8200371
The foxes.

Are.

Fucking retarded.

>>8200367
Hey man, leave the 40m guy alone. He's just having some fun.

>>8200367
no.

>>8200350
Watch out, they take "bite me" seriously.

>>8200329
Holy ... you're joking. You, Luca Bayer, wanna get hitched? Dude, you've changed a lot since college, bro... I mean, you once claimed you'd get neutered by a drunk vet before getting a ring on your finger. Bro, seriously, though, I'm proud. She was a pretty smart girl back then. Better than some of those shallow bimbos out there. Go for it.

Anyone here go to Oakvalley, SP?

>>8200387
i'll take note of that.

>>8200348
Fuck that, I hate that woman. The more offensive, the better.

That said, I can hold back on the bitterness.

The whole mess I have going with Zinaida is more than worth it. Though I have to ask, what that funny smell is...? I mean, she is a gnoll, but she smells pretty good... except for that weird hint of burnt hair. Is it that damn displacer beast? I hear they make awful pets, but...

>>8200298
Thanks, yeah, I learned my lesson the hard way, but it's ok, we're still friends and we joke about it.

>>8200336
That too.

>>8200341
Once or twice; I grew up in a very integrated city, not a lot of humans really, and my family wasn't rich enough to join the damn enclave. So I was pretty much the only human at my schools growing up. It was a hard life, but I learned a lot, and made some close friends. Not many though.

>>8200378

>>8200425
Terrifying, really. Are you going to wet yourself on my rug? It's quite expensive, so I'd rather you attempt to contain yourself.

>>8200231
you go back to the hive to fuck your inbred packmates or something, wyrm-thing?

you even have any fur on your wretched hide?

dated a changeling for a while a few years back
had MPD as so many of them do but that worked out pretty damn fine in the sack

>>8200445
do you?

>>8200423
Oh, man. I'm sorry. That sounds... awful. how'd you make it?

>>8200441
Oh god... that sounds so familiar... Is that a Battlefield Earth quote?

>>8200459
Neckbeard.

>>8200459
some spots that don't grow back even in warform, anon.

from burning oil traps in a leech-den

Las' time I let a 'umie inta' a game, 'e damn near ruined it fer' everyone. Th' git was tryin' ta make a pass on our servitor player. Made 'fings awkward.

>>8200445
....for a Weaver infected coward you're certainly doing your best to attract the attention of things that will corrupt and eat you.

>>8200478
Not intentionally. I don't watch much fantasy.

>>8200441
Dude. Shut the fuck up. I hate shits like you almost as much as I hate the damn monsters for looking down on us! Nothing is ever going to be achieved by this fucking back and forth; yes the monsters think we're weak and the worst think we taste good, but you think they're abominations unto god just for existing! What the fuck man? You all make me sick.

>>8200425
YO! LUCA! SIT... That's right, just calm down, back down on the whole "Alpha Male" routine, and take some deep breaths. Bro, seriously, I thought thse anger-management classes had been working, man. If you wanna be good for Kelly, you cant be getting your fur rubbed the wrong way every time someone makes a stupid remark... Chill, bro.

>>8200441
I'M GOING TO RIP YOUR SPINE OUTTA YOUR THROAT AND SODOMIZE YOU WITH IT!

>>8200501
I think you have me confused for a pathetic sack of meat and hair rather than a glorious winged messenger of Bahamut, pinkskin.

>>8200478
>battlefield earth

>>8200423
>the long hard erect thrusting way

>>8200492
Oh, I love the stuff. I can't live without my Fantasy books about "Space-ships" and "Moon-Explorers".

I know it's silly, but... I'm still just a little gnoll at heart. Kinda why I sympathize with the 40m roleplayer here.

>>8200529
I'm more into speculative fiction, myself. You know, 'how would the Sundering have played out if the Aetheric Cult hadn't enacted the Ritual of Binding on Mystra?', that sort of interesting stuff.

Granted, most of the situations the genre deals with could be cleared up by 'and then the dragons showed up', but... willing suspension of disbelief, and all that.

>>8200490
you've got a sharp tongue in you, anon

there's not a black spiral dancer alive that's a match for a Fenrir ahroun

... fucking asshole packmates named me this after I ran away from a nexus crawler

>>8200529
k. i was just >implying things.

>>8200478
With good humor, apologies all around, an ice pack and a donut cushion. Ignorance, alcohol and a lack of communication sucks, man.

>>8200508
You're still a douche.

>>8200501
>>8200492
>>8200478
>>8200445
>>8200441
Ladies and gentlemen, let us resolve our differences in a peaceful way.

An orgy!

So um... how do I tell if my headmaster is a devil? Grace, the gnoll girl who I'm friends with, she was told he's a devil by one of the boys in the next year up. He said he overheard the teachers say so, and I don't think Grace would make it up.

>>8200571
Some sort of... viking... werewolf?

>>8200504
Alright, Ive calmed down. Its one thing to talk like that about me, its another to say that about my girlfriend.

Man, you guys are feisty this evening.

Kinda glad all my racial profiling is done for me, actually. Equal opportunity xenophobia seems the safest bet here.

>>8200580
>a dragon is a douche.
Who'd have thought it.

inb4 over 100 new namefags are born... Well shit...

>>8200583
you touch me and you're going home in bags, anon

>>8200598
I'm sure she's a fine bitch, apart from the whole filthy scavenger thing.

>>8200580
Wait, you let... in your... ?
Okay, that I did NOT allow to happen.
(Which is perhaps why I am not the "girlfriend" but damn...)

>>8200561
can't be as bad as some of the stuff i've seen
saw one that was set in an alternate reality where only humans were still alive, but it didnt explain why at any point

>>8200584
Poke him with some cold iron. Or is it blessed silver? I forget. Just grab a bit of both, and bump him with it surreptitiously. If either burns him, he's a native of the lower planes.

>>8200571
I have always wanted to say this to you, but dude just fucking shut up, it is like your an all you can eat buffet for the trolls, I mean seriously, how fucking obvious can it get?

>>8200637
Is that racist?

>>8200648
It's still daytime in the troll domains, bro, they're stone for another few hours.

>>8200631
hells one of the ones i read went as far as to only have one cleric exist in the entire world, and his mere existence was amazing to people!

>>8200620
We were both *really* drunk.

>>8200655
Trolls don't eat, sleep, show emotion, or care about the time, it is 24/7 trolltime everytime on /tg/.

DAM TROLLS, MAN. DEM TROLLS.

>>8200660
What, no other Paladins or Clerics? That's... stupid.

>>8200637
What should I bring? You know I can't take like a knife or something to school without getting in SERIOUS trouble.

And we don't have like cutlery at home anyway.

>>8200651
It actually probably constitutes assault with a deadly weapon. But whatever,

>>8200651

Knew a guy once who got hit with a hate crime suit for accidentally singeing a devil during his morning prayers.

Those fuckers can draw up one hell of a lawsuit, I gotta tell you.

>>8200637
Dude, you're screing up your elements again... remember basic highschool alchemy.
Pure iron for fae
Blessed silver for shapeshifters
Oak dipped in sacred water for undead and demons.

This is kid stuff - were you asleep or sick those days?

>>8200680
Fuck off back to /adv/ with this shit, kindling.

>>8200680
Coins.

>>8200660
Oh jeez... I tried reading that thing. It was a thick-as-the-abyss book, so I was interested.

Most fucking boring book I've ever had the displeasure of attempting to read. NO plot development! It was like... a short story collection.

>>8200677
i know, it was so wierd! from what i could gather, the plot was that there was only one god, or one god that was trying to make it look like he was the only god, and somehow had made it so only he could have clerics or something? i dont know, it didnt make any sense.

>>8200686
....well, if he fell for that trick, he deserves the damn lawsuit. It has to be enchanted for that to work at all.

>>8200687
Oh, oak. That's easy! But um where can I buy sacred water, could I get it at the non-human grocery?

>>8200671
Well, there are two kinds of drinkers:
people who look at tequila and go "Meh"
people who look at tequila and wake up in cart, wearing a fig leaf, being roused by an angry dwarf.

No more tequila for you.
Or... hang out with my dwarven friends. They brew the best stuff.

>>8200687
Never my specialty. Once the class was done, I just sort of stopped caring. I'm a social science major, so that stuff is only really relevant if I were studying one of those groups. My graduate research is looking like it's going to focus on the isolated tribes of dragon kin out in the Sahara though.

>>8200648
you want to go around calling a Fenrir a coward weaver-thing and not expect to get your throat torn out?

>>8200701

It's actually an in-character perspective piece. I didn't figure it out until I read the sequel, which was set in the same world and 'written' by a different god who was trying to pull the same monotheism spiel. Pretty clever, once you catch on.

>>8200728
Mono... theism?

... What? I mean, I get the root meaning of the phrase, but... really? -Seriously-?

>>8200711

Dwarven booze... man, that stuff'll knock even a big guy like me down after a few mugs. Powerful stuff.

>>8200706

Nah, this was one of those whinging 5th-circle devils from the eastern pantheons, you know the kind.

Hi, I dunno if the person I was talking to is around again, but I'm the lamia from yesterday. I thought I should let them know that - totally by accident - I found out that the school has a warded dorm that can't be scryed, and I might be able to get a room there by the end of the week!

>>8200750
That's speculative fiction for you... comes up with the really wild ideas.

NO GODS OR KINGS BUT MANKINDS

>>8200750

What, you don't keep up with the genre? There are fanclubs and everything for it, man. Kinda weirds me out, but evidently they're all for the really out there fiction.

>>8200778
.. I suspect this guy isn't really a Flamer.

>>8200750
That's pro-human literature for you, if I'm thinking of the right book. The god was such a jackass he only bothered to resurrect a couple of dudes in the entire series?

>>8200765
Have you seen ur bf since then, the one with the flamer parents? Maybe if he gets a place of his own you can like move out from the school after?

>>8200772
Man, I thought I read some weird stuff.

Monotheism... Yeeg... I'm gonna be thinking about that all night...

Hm. Maybe I can pull that on my players... They'd NEVER see that coming! Hihihi!

>>8200778
Silver Flame will burn out soon enough, just you watch.

>>8200798
Oh, I'm pretty sure he's flaming, alright.

>>8200752
Now mix four short, hairy friends, their latest barrelscraper, and a drinking game involving "improved meteor swarm"- and since I'm the only caster, well...

>>8200778
Oh hey, the assholes back, I thought he left.

Anyways, Gornod, since you were like my best friend and shit back in college, wanna be my best man?

>>8200711
I've actually stopped drinking since then; that was not the only incident that went bad because of booze; I've been beaten up pretty bad before because off some off hand comments I've made.

>>8200778
Dude, just shut up.

>>8200821
Seriously, would you expect me to say no? It'd be an honor.

>>8200785
Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me! It's catching on? That's... wrong! Just... so wrong!

>>8200798
You're kidding. Only... like... a couple? Sure you don't mean a couple hundred? Twenty? Not just two?

I mean... was that god really that much of a dick?

>>8200803
He's, um... not really my boyfriend.

But I managed to talk to his friend, the minotaur on the soccer team! I bumped into him in the hallway, and accidentally tripped a centaur by flailing around when I tried to help him up. So the minotaur - his name is Grond - and I got to talking while we were waiting outside the Headmaster's office, and he's really nice. Invited me out for a drink, but I don't really like pubs, so I said no.

>>8200838

It's actually a surprisingly good literary technique, I think. I mean, when someone dies, they're gone for good and all; no raising, no anything. And get this; the god just sort of stopped talking to his followers after a while, so they didn't even know if he was still around and if they had any outer plane to go to when they kicked it.

I thought it was genius, in a really twisted sort of way. Gives the whole story a kind of desperate feel.

>>8200838
think of it this way. he created a damned paradise for the loyal dead. why would you want to leave?

>>8199393
I once DM'd a game with a pair of centaurs, a dwarf, and elf and a colony of formians.

God, that was a clusterfuck. It took the formians six hours to decide what to do during combat.

My opinion of namefags and tripfags has dropped, and to think I actually respected you guys once.

>>8200821
good luck on this marriage shit

would probably be about a week before I tore my wife apart or she shot me with something high powered and silver

>>8200834
AWESOME! Thanks man, that means alot.

The one gnoll player in my group keeps trying to hit on the humans. How do I stop him?
I tried spraying him with water, but that just made him smell.

>>8200887
it was certainly an interesting perspective; like a lot of speculative fiction, it was clearly meant to make us consider why our society is the way it is, by removing some major element and showing us what it would be like without it
just sits a bit uneasy is all, ive seen way too many pro-human groups lately, making it hard for some of us to get by

>>8200912
Racist.

Seriously though. How is a nonhuman discussion thread any worse than gnollthreads and 40k roleplaying?

>>8200844
Grond? That's funny, my cousin's boy is named Grond.

But it can't be him, he's barely started junior high, and he's certainly not a soccer fan. Eh, just amusing coincidence, I guess.

>>8200929
Is he kind of black and brown, with one horn shorter than the other?

>>8200920
What race are the girls? He sounds creepy.

>>8200920
Just talk to him. He's not a dog, eh. Though I would recommend being gentle about it.

>>8199393
Dragonwroght Kobold reporting in.

Took fang as my dragon subtype and went cleric/malvoker, being able to perma invis and summon demons that could kill the entire party after failing a bluff check was so cash.

>>8200912

Cut them some slack, man, it's not often the server crosses wires like this.

I mean, Gnolly and Russ are kind of fixtures everywhere, but most of the time it's one universe per person, no shoving. Kinda nice to cut loose and mingle a bit.

Aside from that dragon asshole. Does he have a special keyboard for the overcompensation claws, or what?

This thread just reminded me of why I stopped playing RPGs. (PROTIP: THEY'RE FULL OF PSEUDO-INTELLECTUAL SELF-REFERENCING CIRCLE JERK DOUCHES/DROW)

>>8200920
tell him humans roll around in dumpsters and eat garbage, anon

Ever played with a Dwarf?

They always bring the best booze, and it just ends up as a big drunken party of your closest bros, and a keg of dwarven ale. Fuck, I can't even remember half of the games I've played when there was a Dwarf at the table.

I REMEMBER BACK WHEN HUMAN RULE THE WORLD.

AND MONSTER DOESN'T EXIST. I MISS THE EMPIRE.

>>8200957

You sure you're on the right board, there, chief?

>>8200951
Actually I pay people like you a pittance to take diction.

>>8200937

They're human girls. They say they don't mind, but just the idea of him bedding them, yeugh...

>>8200947

I did, and he says he isn't doing anything wrong. Not that I'm saying he is mind you, but still..

>>8200973
Thats probably cause of the booze. Shit will fuck you up.

>>8200927
So you didn't notice how this thread did get derailed into, "I AM NOT A HUMAN AND HUMANS ARE GHEY"

"BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, YES THEY ARE"

"HURPITY DURPITY DOO, HUMANS ARE FUCKING AWESOME, BUT NOW THAT I NOTICE ANOTHER NAMEFAG POSTED THAT THEY ARE OK BUT ARE EXTREMELY FLAWED, I HAVE TO AGREE, THEY ARE PRETTY FLAWED"

"LAWL CAN I NAMEFAG TOO GUIZ?"


"I POST PICTOOR, PIG DISGUSTING HUMAAN"

Guh! I could go on, but I would like you guys to continue. Besides this is the way you expect furries to act.

>>8200935
That's him, yeah. Keeps trying to coax his mother into letting him get a nosering like mine, but she insists he's still too young. But he's a good kid.

>>8200970

He's way too clever to fall for that.

>>8200975
easy with that m-word, S.T.A.L.K.E.R.

>>8200949
youmad.png

>>8200844
Do you have a college degree? Are you in the process of getting one? This post is a warning sign that you have a condition commonly known as "too much free time" or "get a fucking boy/girlfriend"

>>8201002

Why so motherfucking serious?

>>8200975

Oh shit, he dropped the M-bomb...

>>8200951
>one universe per person

Haha... No. Nearly every single thread is fucking "ALL NAMEFAGS GET IN HERE, YEAH WE ROLEPLAY SHIT, AND GO AGAINST OUR ACTUAL CHARACTERS PERSONALITIES, BUT (AIMchat bullshit)" Seriously, what are you new here?

>>8200983

You PAY? Pretty generous for a magpie. You sure trading in valuable mattress stuffing for a few posts is worth it?

>>8201046
>>8201002
>nofunallowed.jpg

Also, >missingthepoint.jpg.

>>8201063
>GO AGAINST OUR ACTUAL CHARACTERS PERSONALITIES

There are a grand total of three reoccuring namefags in this thread, only one of whom is named for an existing character.

>>8201017
it's true, anon. people smell like garbage cans in the summer sun

your friend doesn't sound too good with scents, eh?

>>8201066

oh my fucking snap

that was like raw speciesism distilled into one post

>>8201068
>>8201050
Well, well, every single time, same excuses, but can you tell me what I said didn't happen in this thread? Because that would make you a liar. Well, did what I post actually happen in this thread?

>>8201066
Well, it's pay or risk an uprising, and an uprising would involve getting off my hoard and crushing some skulls. So tiresome.

>>8200957
>THEY'RE FULL OF PSEUDO-INTELLECTUAL SELF-REFERENCING CIRCLE JERK DOUCHES/DROW

Don't you have a cheerleader to imprenate, fratboy?

>>8201063
I'm not actually trying to play Gnollbard here.

Just a generic, relatively well-adjusted Gnoll in an integrated fantasy setting.

>>8200984
So you're just uncomfortable with interspecies stuff?

>>8201055
I've been saying monster the entire time. I guess it's wrong...

>>8201104
It's roleplay, you worthless fucking faggot. Self-indulgent speciesism is the point, nobody in the thread with the possible exception of Gnollbard actually believes they are a mythical creature and hates all humans.

Jesus fucking Christ, way to shit up a perfectly tolerable thread.

>>8201124
Gnoll Bard?

Guess you don't need a healer.

>>8201078
I wasn't talking about only this thread, have you never been in the 40k roleplay threads? I guess not, because that is exactly what happens, all the time.

>>8201127
would be a little hurt if you called me 'monster', russ

haven't hurt innocent people for a long time

>>8201127
Context, sweety. You didn't know better, and since you were trying to show some respect, we weren't pushing you. One of us would've commented eventually on it. For the record, we prefer being called mythics.

But assholes like him, who use the word out of pure hate? Yeah, that's when things get nasty.

>>8201142
These are not 40k 'roleplay' threads. Note the lack of retarded 40k references and avatarfagging.

...this makes me wonder, though: why do the humans grow so FAST?

I mean, technically, goblins and orcs and stuff grow faster, but the ones I've met don't seem to quite have the drive to really throw themselves into personal/professional improvement. And, seriously, the elves just faff about and stretch out the time. 'This homework is due tomorrow and I'm working on it' while he's playing flash games. 'Homework' my fat, scaled ass.

>>8201135
Behind the computer, I'm human...

>>8201135

So, uh, have you met sos yet? You'd hit it off, I think.

>>8201105

Oh sweet lord you are like a giant scuttling stereotype. Go kidnap a princess, you overfed gecko.

>>8201135
>exception of gnollbard

Uh, did you even read the fucking thread? Dumbass, gnollbard was probably the most subtle of all the fucking posters in stating humans have flaws. Read the thread, then get back to me with a suitable response.

>>8201127

It's not the interspecies thing, he's just so much bigger!

>>8201127
Been there. Done that. Best sex I've ever had.

>>8201178
Fuck yes, hilarious.

>>8201178
I can do an impression of being human, anon

not perfect though, eh?

>>8201154
You haven't hurt anyone, ever. Except your parents, you waste of humanity.

>>8201166
I think humans grow fast because they're like always in a hurry. How many humans you know slow down and stop to appreciate things like nature? Even my teachers are in a hurry.

>>8201178
Do you have any idea how much it costs to house one of those things for more than few days, or the amount of paperwork required to rent one in the first place? Beaurocracy, I tell you. It's a blight.

>>8201154
Sorry man.. uh, wolf? What do I call you?

>>8201155
Ok then, I'll try to correct myself, thanks.

>>8201209

They seem to think their lifespans are so short compared to others that if they don't do it NOW NOW NOW, it'll never get done.

Which is weird to me, thinking like that, since the only really long-long-lived races are dragons and elves - the rest of us last a couple hundred on average, and humans last about a dozen decades themselves nowadays, which isn't -that- short...

Actually, about half of my people identify ourselves as human. The other half are wolves.

>>8201185
>>8201168
That part was meant to be tongue in cheek, Gnollbard is a pretty cool guy eh.

SoS is just a retard, I don't think anyone takes him seriously.

>>8201210

Okay, yeah, I'll grant you that. Right now I'm trying to get a zoning permit to corrupt a damn city block. And they want everything in triplicate. Goddamn formorians don't even want everything in triplicate!

>>8201216
you can call me whatever you want

my deed name doesn't translate very well, the closest is flees-the-shadow-of-the-wyrm

>>8201166
I think it has to do with their culture. Being conditioned to desire success and power over all things leaves a mark on you. Not saying it's bad, mind, I mean, half the industry leaders are human-run companies.

>>8201269
(actually both sos and sergalfag have been tame in these threads.

>>8201189
Yeah... there is that. But honestly, if neither side minds; I'd just stay out of it.

>>8201193
So have I, and frankly, I'll be waiting awhile before I do it again.

>>8201166
Because we're "weak", "cursed", "children", what have you. I can't explain it, but I'm sorry it aggravates you, learn to live with it.

>>8201269
Oh thank god. I was worried people were starting to think I actually believed myself to be a gnoll... Phew. Was worried.

Yo, guys, I may have run into trouble. Banging a gnoll, enjoying it immensely. Met her brother, and he's a tad racist. Also, he's pretty handy with a sword, which I am not. So sue me, I went to college to major in arcana.

How do I avoid a fight?

>>8201342
Elope! I'm sure he won't come after you with blade drawn for kidnapping his sister.

>>8201342
You... well... you have her beat the shit out of him. That usually works pretty well.

>>8201342

Have his sister beat him up.

>>8201342
>>8201367
>>8201383
Hahaha! Do this, post video; I'm sure she doesn't know his attitude towards you yet, huh?

Have his sister deal with it. Trust me, you do NOT wanna get mixed up in a sibling quarrel between gnolls. Odds are he's more upset with her than you anyway.

>>8201258
>>8201209

On the other hand, can't fault their accomplishments. I mean, they even have more-obsessed-than-usual members, and they're the ones that (supposedly) make most of their major discoveries.

Like Mordenkainen.

>>8201405
>>8201383
>>8201367
>>8201351
>>8201342

This may get interesting, as this bastard is twice as big as either of us. Literally eats goblins for breakfast. Fuck it. I'm calling him up.

>>8201460

...he's BIGGER than she is?

No wonder he's so sensitive about race, his dad was a goddamn ogre or something.

>>8201460
Wait, a male Gnoll is bigger than his sister? No offense or anything, but is she the runt of the litter, or is he abusing growth hormones?

>>8201460
Oh...

anyone got a prediction for the usa vs canada hockey game tomorrow?

will give sergal-wyrm-thing a beating if canada loses

>>8201460
>>8201342

...know Fireball yet?

Or Invisibility?

>>8201303

Look, all I'm saying is that when something that matures in the time it takes me to go on and return from vacation can pose a genuine threat to my physical safety, *something* is up.

My hoard is half-spent on traps for a reason, you know.

>>8201490

Or is she three months old or something. Might explain his desire to insert his fangs into your jugular.

>>8201536
You must have a pretty pathetic hoard. Where are you sited, the Southern Provinces or something? I've spent barely an eigth of my hoard and I have traps that rival the Arcane Vault in the Imperial City.

>>8201536
Sorry. We're just fast at a lot of things; learning is also one of them.

>>8201490
>>8201488
Orphaned at an early age. He's always been bigger than her, bigger than big. He's not picking up... damnit.

Anyway, yeah. Always been huge, always been the guardian of the pair. She's always been about human-sized. Go figure.

>>8201536
Invisibility, no. And I don't want to be charged with "Assault with Deadly Arcana"- will charm person work, since I know the guy...?

>>8201573
Yeah right. And I'm the Grand High Sire of the Blackhoof Clan. Tug the other horn, it's got ribbons on it.

>>8201573

>spent hoard

wat

>>8201601

I hate to stereotype, here, but that is way beyond the pale of what I know about gnolls. Think you're on your own, here.

>>8201573
I'm pretty sure this guy is a juvenile posting out of his mother's vault. I bet his 'hoard' is two gold coins and a flawed ruby.

>>8201573

Well, I'm sorry if my paranoia outstrips my malice, DAD.

>>8201655

YOUNG.
ADULT.

And I've got at LEAST ten grand. Saved up from a part-time job, and I only ever spent any of it to make sure I can 'mature' enough to raze cities.

Also, mum got chucked by some 'adventurers' last century.

>>8201628
Sheeeeeeeeyit. I knew it.

She's a genius, by gnoll standards, likes me for my smile, isn't a total bitch. I played against the odds, guys, and I wouldn't have minored in scrying if I was bad at math.

Wait, why am I opening up to you, anon?

>>8201682
I bet you haven't even moulted yet.

>>8201689

Because you're between a rock and a hard place, the police'll say you got what you deserved, and the family doesn't have enough swords to stick the guy?

>>8201708

I'M GOING THROUGH MY FIRST RIGHT NOW, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

>:<

>>8201682
Sorry to hear that sir. Buck up, I'm sure you'll be a big strong dragon one day!

>>8201689
What city you at? I'm down near Levanschine Bay; I'm not too big, but I'm good in a scrap and with a crossbow if things get too bad.

>>8201689

We get things done.

Sounds like her sib's got some severe compensation issues when it comes to gnolldom. How heavy on tradition is he? You might be able to talk him into including you in his 'pack loyalty' schtick. Poor guy really doesn't hang out with a lot of gnolls, does he?

>>8201740
that's one way to get extra cash... sell the scales you shed to one of those armorcraft companies. They pay huge for that stuff, and I bet they'd pay even more to get it from a live dragon instead of some hide brought in by one of those "adventuring" assholes who hunt you guys for cash.

>>8201759

Yeah, you have to raze hamlets that are too small to attract attention from bigshots, but not so small you can't live off the proceedings.

Having a salaried job would be much easier to plan around. I once heard of a dragon who got paid, PAID!, to loaf about some guy's throne room.

>>8201818
I've heard some younger dragons are breaking into the entertainment industry nowadays, getting into the movies for solid pay. Sure, most of the casting calls are for "villain" roles, but playing the evil-mastermind type is great stress-relief, I'm told.

>>8201768

The bay? Great! I'm in a little academy town called Murphy. Shouldn't be too far... Worse comes to worse, I'll cantrip a distress beacon.

>>8201759

Yeah, they came up on their own, very close siblings, and very un-traditional. How else would I get away with... you probably don't want to hear about my sex life. Suffice to say, I get away with quite a bit.

To convince him I'm "good enough" for his sister, I'm not sure what to do. He's a professional warrior... maybe I can fight a bear on a mountain or something?

>>8201818
I wouldn't doubt it, but on the other hand, I wouldn't really know.

>>8201920
I know that place; but still man, a warrior by trade? Things aren't looking good. Why did you two come out to him anyway?

>>8201920

Well, how traditional is he about his warriorship? Maybe you guys could go vanquish some things together, that's always a good way to gain respect.

Then again, I'm kind of big on vanquishing in general, so that might not be the most unbiased advice.

>>8201983
Gotta give my vote to this. Better to try to make him an ally than an enemy.

>>8201983
She doesn't like lying to her brother, and she's moving in with me. Hard to find a good excuse. He may be dim, but he's not retarded.

>>8201957
Well, I haven't cast Riker's Azure Lance since my academy days... Think of magic missile on steroids. Fun. Boom.

>>8201891
Amateurs. A real dragon doesn't -work-.

>>8202056
Lazy bastard.

>>8202056
well then, you tremendous scaly asshole, what DO you do all day?

>>8202101
Sit on my hoard and post on 4chan, what else?

>>8202143
And yet the one who actually is working, earning a living and such, is the pathetic one. Right.

>>8202143

Oh, dammit, you're that "REAL HOARDS HAVE" asshole from /trsr/, aren't you?

Aww, don't tell me the thread's dead.

>>8202254
Looks that way.