tl;dr

And of course. A moment of silence in remembrance of one of the Emperor's finest.

>As your commissar it is my duty to ensure that morale remains high
Make a general order that the morale of every soldier must be high. Violators will be shot for insubordination.

>>8587380

That is already in place.

Now then can anyone tell me what Commander Shepard did wrong here?

>>8587423
only one eye was googlied.

>>8587441

Wrong.

You are obviously a filthy heretic and/or traitor.

Thus you are subject to summary execution.

>>8587462
She suffered the xeno to live!

HERESY

>>8587423
Resorted to psychological warfare on one xeno when the lasgun is more effective. Also ignoring the other xeno.

>>8587472

VERY GOOD!

You get a power hug and a cookie

The problem with these threads is that there's too much copypasta and not enough OC. Of course, I'm only contributing to the problem by being a lazy bastard, but I want to play some L4D before I go to sleep.

>>8587508
SQUAD MORALE RESTORED

This thread ALWAYS requires this picture.

>>8587509

I am a commissar not a fantastic writefaggot

Yes... Grow larger humanity... So we can have more play things.

And what did Commander Shepard do wrong this time?

>>8587601
She did not use wooden ladders to reach cookies.

>>8587601
Well she suffered a Xeno to live... again.

Also Twister. Twister is a way of worshiping Slanneesh and doing it with a Xeno makes it DOUBLE HERETICAL.

>>8587638

Wrong foul heretic!

>>8587650
And by the will of chaos, I will troll again.

>>8587646

Very good!

Remember only duly authorised, blessed and trained members of the holy administratum or Imperial Assaninorium may engage in non-violent contact with Xenos lifeforms. Their sacrifice should be remembered and their faith should serve as a guide to us all.

If you ever encounter a Xenos remember the three steps:

Burn, kill, purge.

>>8587697
You mean...
Maim, rape and kill?

too much hurr durr 40k humanity threads.

>>8587724

Wrong filthy heretic!

Maiming does not kill and raping is heretical contact with xenos

>>8587697
But if we burn them, doesn't that usually take care of the killing for us? And doesn't purging generally refer to the eradication of groups, not individuals? *BLAM!*

>>8587724
no, it's rape, rape, rape

>>8587748

Where there is one xenos there is more.

Thus purging is necessary.

And only in holy flame can you fully remove the taint of the xenos. Even their corpses must be burnt or turned over to the proper authorities for study.

>>8587748
No you see the burning is to inflict horrible agony on the Xeno, to punish it for being a Xeno.

Then you kill the Xeno. Then you purge the area of all traces that the Xeno ever existed. If there are other Xenos nearby then you have to start over with the burning and the killing.

I always love stories like these, the problem is finding them. I've yet to find any good source for first contact stories on the interwebs. Anyone out there know of some?

Out already? I have more Commissar-kun!

>>8588052

I do love a good Humanity FUCKYEAR thread.

This is some pretty good writefagging.

these stories are awesome.
you should feel awesome.
humans are fucking awesome.

More

>>8588194

I like this guy.

He's seeeeelleeeeeeeeeeeeee~!

Bring this thread back, Emperor damn it all!

Gaunt is NOT pleased that this thread is dying.

>>8588414

Two exemplars of Humanity Fuck Yeah

Girls of the Guard too.


Not done this for a while

Have you given the proper praise to the machine spirit?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Keu3eKg_qQ

Ok incoming spur of the moment writefaggotry.

So expect it to be a bit bad and expect it to take a while

The human knack for adapting to any environment they find themselves in is well known these days. But it never ceases to amaze me just this new species manages to adapt.

Humans were first encountered around fourty of their years ago. A human exploration ship that had gone to the largest world in their system found themselves facing a science vessel belonging to the Keldeen consortium.

The humans oddly enough immediately assumed the vessel was a colonisation ship despite its small size and made a point of explaining how the worlds in that system belonged to them.

The Keldeen science vessel assumed the human ship was simply a probe and took it onboard.

There we no survivors from the Keldeen ship.

After that there was no word from the Sol System (humanity's home system) for around seven of their years. Then humanity, utilising the FTL transmission systems from the Keldeen ship they had captured contacted the Keldeen Consortium's regional director office to apologise for the misunderstanding involving the science vessel.

A meeting was arranged. The Keldeen Consortium looking forward to the prestige and potential lucrative trade opportunities (especially considering the material wealth of the Sol system in certain rare elements) and the humans looking forward to getting out into the wider galaxy.

It was then that certain difficulties arose.

>>8589190

When the human ship (utilising a reverse engineered Keldeen FTL drive) arrived at the venue for this historic meeting, the Keldeen assumed that for some reason the humans had sent a probe.

There was a brief fear that it was actually a torpedo but this was quickly belayed when scans showed no explosives and detected faint life signs.

The "probe" was allowed to land at the arranged spot which was a landing pad which seemed to swallow the tiny craft. The regional manager who was representing the Keldeen went up to the tiny craft to discover the most bizarre site ever witnessed by any in this galaxy.

The humans were tiny. Smaller than a G'votch burrow ray. Most vermin in the galaxy are larger than them yet here they were. Sentient lifeforms that could fit in the palm of your hand (or equivalent manipulator).

Whites being descriminated against again.. I couldn't care less but we are being brainwashed into giving way to multiculturalism because they have been incompetent since day 1. All true brits should abloish tax. England for the English!?!

Right now in some other corner of the galaxy, aliens on alienchan are having an ALIENS FUCK YEAH thread.

>Sentient lifeforms that could fit in the palm of your hand

I sing about love.

>>8588696
th-

that's not how giving praise works!

>>8587310
I want so badly to see this story continue. Either the inevitable war between the humans and whoever nuked them, or the humans view of the whole event.

humanityhammer fuckyeah

>>8589262

Most other races would have suspended the meeting in order to collect their thoughts.

The Keldeen to their credit are shrewd businessmen and believed they saw the potential for such a species on the galactic scale. They had no idea what these small creatures would accomplish.

After that initial moment of shock on the Keldeen side the negotiations began in earnest with the humans wasting no time on ceremony. Their stance was shockingly aggressive with the Keldeen expecting a very submissive race (in accordance with the usual disposition relating to size of sentient beings). Deals were struck and the Keldeen for the first time since they came out into the galaxy were outmanoeuvred on the bargaining table.

The Keldeen received what the humans had called "First refusals" on materials from Sol, a concept the Keldeen had misinterpreted as meaning they would have preferential pricing on materials from Sol when in reality it meant the humans would charge what they want but they would allow the Keldeen to buy it before anyone else did (but at the same price). The Humans in return convinced the Keldeen to pay for the development and creation of mining & refining facilities that the humans would use to begin harvesting materials from across their solar system.

The Keldeen manager responsible was cleared of gross incompetence by an employee review board but retired out of shame.

rolled 6 = 6

>>8589417

there was some unfinished writefaggotry but it was just transhumanity fucking up a planet of whatever Dr. Zoidberg is with spider tanks and AI controlled drones and shit

I love these threads

>whatever Dr. Zoidberg is

He is a Decapodian (from the sandy planet Decapod 10).

>>8589541

ditto

>>8589473

After those meetings it was almost four of their years before humans began making their way out into the galaxy.

This brought numerous problems as human ships were around the size of a large torpedo. Thus the galactic council were convinced by the humans to pay for the installation of (expensive) identification systems for human ships that were produced on human worlds by humans and then fitted to human ships by humans at the councils expense.

Again the galaxy marvelled at the humans ability to negotiate despite their small size.

When the human embassy was established on Char the capital of the Galactic Council there were various comments made as to why the humans (being so small) required the full embassy land allotment, land was expensive on Char and they surely did not need all that land.

The human embassy effectively became a small town within the world city of Char. For a time the majority of Chars human population never set foot outside the embassy due to the danger from walking sentients, robots and of course vermin.

However it was not long after the establishment of Chars human embassy that an insight into human social organisation came about.

More specifically the way they divide labour.

>>8589473
Are you writing this? If so...well, how in the hell did we kill everyone on a science vessel if we can fit in the palms of their hands?

Yay humanity

>>8589600
Probably because what they thought was a probe was actually full of tiny gun wielding mice-equivalents.

Imagine if you found a torpedo or something, and you opened it up. But inside was like 500 rats with itty bitty AK-47s.

And what if there were only like 5 Keldeen on board?

>>8589482
Hmmmm, that's a shame. It has a really good premise behind it.

>>8589589

Most sentients maintain a broad knowledge on various subjects. Specialisation is present of course but not to the same extent as it is present in humans.

To be specific one part of humanity sacrifices social integration skills in order to nurture frightening scientific knowledge and mechanical skills. Other humans often look down on them but recognise the necessity of having these humans, relying on them for almost all of their technological maintenance and scientific progress.

Some who had been brought to Char in order to help build and maintain the human embassy there had come into possession of a scrapped worker robot. For some bizarre reason they had decided to restore it and build into it a control system that they could operate from inside the robot.

So they did this.

Within five years these modified robots had become a huge commercial success among the humans causing them to spread further throughout the galaxy.

>>8589624
That makes sense, I guess. I just have a hard time imagining being killed by something so much smaller than me that doesn't involve poison.

>>8589190

>>8589262
>>8589473
>>8589589

Anyone else thinking Truckers, Wings, and Diggers, by I forget my name?

Fear Prices slashed! Arnold bros Est1890 will save us

>>8589624

Pretty much. There was around three Keldeen on this ship. All of them scientists.

Suddenly they found themselves assailed by around sixty humans who believed they'd been kidnapped by evil aliens. The humans being a mixed strata of soldiers, scientists, maintenance guys, etc.

I DONT BELIEVE THE RESPONSSE ON HERE... ITS THE ETHNIC MINORITIES GAYS AND LESBIANS COMPLAINING GAIN. PC LIBERALISTS ARE TOO NAMBY PMBY. EVERY BRITISH WORKING MAN MUST SHOOT ON SIGHT. HONESTLY THIS COUNTRY !!

http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?f=35&t=118771

YOU WANT HUMANITY FUCK YEA?

I'LL POST YOU SOME HUMANITY FUCK YEA!

Chapter One

Eagle Flight, Over The Eastern Pacific
“I, Satan Mekratrig, Lord of Hell, Commander of the Legions of the Damned do hereby declare my dominion over the earth and all that it contains. Crawl to me, humans, knowing the eternity of torment that awaits you.”

“Balls.” Said Lieutenant Michael Wong. The voice that had come over the radio link, booming in the cockpit of his F/A-18E, had distracted him from paying proper attention to the cockpit display of his APG-79 radar. The new AESA radar was a vast improvement over the older APG-73 but that was, as always, a slight problem all of its own. Until the pilots learned how to take full advantage of the improved data flow, they could be swamped with it. Wong was experiencing that problem now, the resolution of the new radar was phenomenal but it seemed to indicate that the wings on the targets 60 nautical miles out in front of him were flapping.

“Full of himself isn’t he? Or should it be ‘it’?” Lieutenant Anthony Squires was genuinely interested, he was renowned as being the Ronald Reagan air group’s grammar geek.

“Try a ‘that’.” Wong wasn’t really interested, the targets in front of him were behaving oddly. They were slow, 180 miles per hour at most, they had a strong radar image yet seemed to have no infra-red signature. That was an odd combination to put it mildly. The bombastic message that had interrupted his concentration was irritating, no more than that. So what were those contacts in front of him? Birds? They were too fast for that surely? The Peregrine Falcon was the fastest bird known and that could, just, hit 180 mph in a steep dive. These were doing that in level flight. So they had to be some form of aircraft. That was assuming the AESA radar wasn’t generating a completely false image of course. And who knew how the electronic systems were malfunctioning following the delivery of The Message three days ago? There was one way to find out.

>>8589676
Really big creatures like these Keldeen are probably adapted to a lower gravity world. In addition they would be slower moving and have much light composition. Something their size just wouldn't be able to survive on an Earthlike planet.

Our guns were originally made to fuck up other humans. But they can take down an Elephant too with persistence. I'm guessing Keldeen would be twice the size of an Elephant, and probably wouldn't be very dense.

A bunch of guys with a bunch of guns could fuck them up pretty effectively.

“Buster, this is Eagle Flight, 200 miles out, bearing 353, we have an anomalous radar contact some 60 miles out in front of us. Please confirm.”

There was a pause for a few seconds, electrostatic discharges in the atmosphere were playing havoc with radio communications but the systems filtering programs quickly cleared the white noise from the channel. “Confirm contact Eagle Flight. Bearing 358, range from Buster is 66.6 nautical miles. Target speed 184 knots, course one-three-fiver. For your information, Crown and Scepter are tracking also. They have locks.” There was a pause, a series of crackles on the radio, then the message resumed. “If targets are hostile, you are cleared to engage.”

Wong translated the message in his head. ‘Buster’ was CVN-76 USS Ronald Reagan, ‘Crown’ was CG-70 USS Lake Erie, an AEGIS cruiser, while ‘Scepter’ was DDG-93 USS Chung-Hoon, one of the Arleigh Burke class destroyers that now dominated the fleet’s surface combatant force. Also AEGIS-equipped, that meant whatever the targets were, they were now being tracked by three of the most advanced radar systems in the U.S. Navy. The ‘lock’ part of the message was really interesting, that suggested the order to open fire was already being passed out.

>>8589745
>>8589734
FUCK YES THIS IS SO AWESOME I NOW HAVE TO READ IT ALL AGAIN

>>8589712
>>8589734
>>8589745

That didn’t surprise Wong, human reaction to The Message had split neatly down religious lines. Those whose religion had demanded blind submission to the ‘Will of God’ had accepted it without a struggle and more or less laid down and died. They just weren’t around any more. The rest of the world’s population had followed the example set by Britain’s Prime Minister Gordon Brown. His reply to The Message had been “Sod off, Baldrick,” followed by a reassuring message to the British people that he had a cunning plan to deal with the situation. The British had enjoyed the joke, whatever it was, and collectively told Satan to perform some highly improbable obscenities on himself. They’d been the first only by a matter of minutes as most of the other countries in the world has replied with similar messages. Ever since then, The Message had been repeated at regular intervals, almost as if the concept of human defiance was so completely unexpected that the powers ‘up there’ couldn’t comprehend its existence. Well, if that was the case, the powers ‘up there’ didn’t know the human race very well.

>>8589760

The three days since the first reception of The Message had been something of a standoff. Humans had waited for the next development, allowing the situation to mature in military parlance, while the only response to their defiance had been the repeated proclamations. No effort to force compliance, not yet at any rate. And no overt human resistance. Wong got the feeling that was all about to change.

“All members, Eagle Flight, increase to fiver-six-zero knots, say again increase to fiver-six-zero knots. Intercept targets in front, range, five-eight nautical miles. Weapons are free, say again, weapons are free. Good hunting Eagle Flight.”

The four F/A-18Es accelerated out of cruise speed, building up to maximum subsonic. The E model had more range and fuel than the older As and Cs but fuel status was always a serious concern to Hornet drivers. Wong had listened with envy to those who had flown the now-gone Tomcats or even longer-lost Intruders. Then, he glanced down at his radar scope again. There were four targets, apparently blissfully ignorant of the Super-Hornets bearing down on them. That was neat, one each.

>>8589765

“Eagle Flight, we are swinging around behind them. I have radar paints on all four, no infra-red signature yet. Each Eagle aircraft, take target corresponding to your flight position, from the left. Use AIM-120 then close in for 20-mike-mike. Not sure AIM-9 will work unless we can get a heat signature off whatever is out there. We’ll get a visual ID first.”

At twelve nautical miles range, the U.S. Navy Hornets got their visual ID. The contacts were four giant creatures, jet black in color, looking like a hideous cross between a gorilla and a bird. Four limbs, two wings, flying in an unconcerned, oblivious line.

“Just what the hell are those?”

Wong wasn’t sure which pilot had breathed the comment into the radio. Didn’t matter, they all knew what to do. So did he come to that. “Buster, this is Eagle. Targets visually identified, large flying humanoids about the same size as a Super-Bug. Wingspan at least twice as great as ours, probably much larger. Engaging.”

“Eagle, this is Buster. Acknowledged. Targets designated as demons. Good luck Eagle Flight.” A few days earlier the fighter controller might have added “And may God go with you” but not after The Message and the betrayal it had represented.

Wong switched the annunciator on his AIM-120s on. They were growling gently, a sustained continuous note that indicated their homing heads were logged on to his selected target, the demon second from the left. The F/A-18s were closing fast, the range was dropping to the point where the hits would be almost instantaneous. “Eagle Flight, open fire.”

Wong’s pressure on the firing button was almost simultaneous with his order. A pair of AIM-120 missiles streaked ahead of his aircraft, curving after the demon he had picked out for his target. He’d been right, the gap was so short that the target couldn’t have evaded even if it had wanted to. It never even tried.

"sigh"
fuck off cockjockey I was reading about micromen in robots

>>8589772

Demon Shingroleth was actually aware of the approaching fighters, he’d seen them when they were still 15 miles out, far beyond the range of any human eye, so he had assumed their presence was coincidental. He had other problems to worry about, a few inconsequential humans were of no significant account one ay or the other. What concerned him was the way his skin was itching, it had started a few minutes before and was getting steadily worse. Maddening. He hadn’t even worried when the four human machines had swung in behind his group and started to close the range on them. That had been when his skin itch had become really intolerable. Then, the humans had done something really strange; odd streaks of smoke coming out from under their flying machines. Surely they couldn’t be resisting the all-powerful armies of the damned?

The AIM-120s worked as advertised. They were good missiles, well designed, well-tested, and they had a target that was proving co-operative to the point of suicide. No maneuvering, no electronic warfare, no interference, if the guidance had been capable of human thought it would have been vaguely offended at being asked to solve a task so undemanding. The first missile exploded between Shingroleth’s legs, just underneath his tail. The 50 pound explosive warhead was wrapped with heavy-gauge pre-notched wire that disintegrated into an annular hail of pre-formed fragments when the missile’s proximity fuse set off the explosive charge. Some of those razor-sharp fragments slashed through Shingroleth’s tail, severing it at the root and sending it spinning off in a long arc. Others ripped into his legs and genitals, tearing open the great arteries, sending his fire-and acid blood spraying over his body, and mangling his reproductive organs beyond recognition. Shingroleth’s scream of demented agony was heard even in the sound insulated-cockpits of the F/A-18s.

Fuck off, man. If I wanted to read this again, I'd follow your link. Obviously, I fuckin' don't.

>>8589680
I THINK it was by Terry Pratchett.
I THINK.

>>8589784

The second missile did really serious damage. Its proximity fuse initiated it right underneath Shingroleth’s belly. The holocaust of tungsten-steel fragments ripped open his stomach and tore his abdominal cavity to shreds. Even in a mind crazed by the ghastly pain from the first hit, Shingroleth noticed the sudden drop in weight as his intestines dropped out of his body. Then his fire-and-acid blood, spraying from more wounds than could reasonably be counted, set fire to his flesh. Shingroleth tumbled downwards, all hope of control had gone when he had lost his stabilizing tail. By the time his remains hit sea level, all that was left of him was a fine carbon dust.

Immediately on firing, Wong had firewalled his throttles, cut in reheat and taken his F/A-18 up into a steep climb. The last thing he had wanted to do was get too close to those things. As he rolled over at the top of the climb, he could see the havoc his attack had wrought on the demon formation below. His target had gone, its death marked by a black streak towards the sea far below. Another one of the formation had taken hits from four AIM-120s, for some reason two F/A-18s had fired on the same aircraft, well, that sort of thing happened. It had meant that the demon had been quite literally torn apart by the storm of fragments and blast of the explosions. More than 200 pounds of best explosive American dollars could buy had vented its wrath on the hideous creature and all that was left of it was a shower of burning fragments. A third demon was staggering away, it had been the last to get hit and had escaped the eviscerating body hits. Instead, one of its wings had been torn to tiny fragments and it was going down in a helpless spin. Even as Wong watched, two of his F-18s were closing on it.

>>8589760
>sod of baldrick
<3

Get back to bed bri/tg/uy. It's 6am. Actually, I should be too. Damn you /tg/.

>>8589791

go fuck yourself, im only posting the first chapter to get people interested.

>>8589807

Prigrathrath was desperately trying to control his descent. One of his wings had gone, it was just a mass of torn flesh and spurting blood. The only thing that was saving him was that his flight path was keeping the blood-and-acid away from his body, the fate of Shingroleth and Caranaskatos had shown him what would happen when demon blood and body parts mixed. Two of the gray-painted human machines were coming after him, he could see them, but with his crippled wings there was little he could do about it. It was odd, there was a strange twinkling light coming from the front of the two flying machines. Then Prigrathrath’s lights went out.

Squires had fired a much longer burst than was normal for the M61 cannon in the nose of his F/A-18. He and his wingman had aimed very carefully, using the plane’s on-board computer and continuously-computed impact point sights to place all 100 rounds of their bursts square into the demon’s face. The effect was more than either pilot could have hoped. The great, hideously malformed head had just disintegrated as the armor-piercing incendiary shells ripped through the skin and shattered the bones underneath. The demon’s eyes, in fact every feature of its face, had been destroyed in the hail of cannon shells tearing through its structure. Once again, fire-and-acid blood spraying from the ruptured veins and arteries finished the job of destruction that fragments, explosions and blast had started. The demon erupted into flames and dropped like a stone towards the sea below.

>>8589680
>>by I forget my name?

alzhimers, well played anon

>>8589817

That had left one demon, untouched, unharmed by the sudden, vicious attack. Quellarastis simply couldn’t believe that the humans had dared to attack him and his colleagues, let alone that they had killed three of his flight-mates with such contemptuous ease. Filled with unrighteous wrath at the effrontery of the attack, he swerved to retaliate at the pair of human flying machines that were coming straight at him. Now, they would learn what the wrath of a demon meant. He opened his mouth and gave a blast of terrifying hellfire straight at them.

In Eagle-One, Wong saw the fireball leave the demon’s mouth and flipped the ailerons over, pulling the stick back in a barrel role around the jet of flame. It wasn’t precisely a hard maneuver, the demon may have had powerful lungs but they could only drive a jet of flame so fast. Compared with the problems posed by trying to dodge a multi-mach missile, the flame was easy to avoid. Even better, the jet of fire was a perfect infra-red source for his AIM-9 Sidewinders. Both annunciators were screaming with the demand to be let loose and Wong obliged them both. They streaked from his wingtip mounts, heading straight for the inferno of heat that was the fire-breathing demon’s mouth.

>>8589839

Quellarastis did the worst thing he could possibly do under the circumstances. He gulped in shock as the two missiles hurtled into his mouth. Once again, proximity fuses worked to perfection, preformed fragments slashed out, ripping through the slate-black flesh of the demon. Some went up into his brain, bouncing around inside his skull until all that laid within was reduced to a finely-ground slush. Others sawed down through the demon’s chest, carving into his heart and lungs. More fragments, from the missile Quellarastis had accidentally swallowed tore the demons neck apart, severing his spinal column and paralyzing him. That was a mercy for Quellarastis, it meant that he did feel it when his blood set his flesh on fire and he vanished within a ball of fire.

“Buster, this is Eagle. All four demons engaged and destroyed. Inform all Buster elements, they blow up and burn if you hit them hard enough. We’re on our way back, we’re hitting bingo fuel out here.”

“Eagle Flight, this is buster. Come on home, the party is just starting down here.”

Wong relaxed in his seat. His Eagle-One had two confirmed kills, Eagle-Three and Eagle-Four had one each. Not ace status yet, but a good start.

>>8589680
Actually, I was thinking that short skit from Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy, about the warring alien race who decide to destroy earth because of a misheard Arthur Dent... but due to a tragic miscalculation of scale are eaten by a dog. Apparently this kind of thing happens all the time.

>>8589852

National Command Post, Washington D.C.

“Mister President, a message from the Ronald Reagan battle group out in the Pacific. They’ve engaged four flying demons, killed all of them. No casualties on our side. Whatever these things are, they aren’t immortal or invulnerable. They burn and die, just like we do.”

President Bush looked dully at Secretary Gates. The betrayal that had been represented by The Message had hit him deep, torn apart the faith that had kept him going even in the darkest years of his presidency. Then, with his opinion poll figures trending up at last, this had to happen. He shook his head, tried to clear the clouds of despair from his mind and absorbed the information. As he did so, his eyes lit up for the first time in three days.

“Get word out to all our armed forces. Tell them to engage these, these things, at every opportunity. Shoot first, hit hard and keep hitting them. Let them know that we may go down but it won’t be without one hell of a fight.”

“Them Sir?”

“Them. Everybody. Our forces, the religious leaders who brought that message to us, those who the message came from. I don’t care who “they” are, either they attacked us or they betrayed us and I don’t see the difference between those who promise us an eternity of torture or those who would hand us over to that fate. They’re both our enemies now. And we’ll fight them. All of them.” Bush’s voice had gained strength and he made his commitment. “We may have believed in higher powers once, but they’ve forfeited any loyalty we may have owed them. Secretary Gates, get the word out. We fight.”

>>8589868

“Sir, I have to warn you, this may well be committing a war crime. We haven’t had United Nations approval for any action and without a vote in the UN, we are committing an act of aggressive war, which is a war crime. I therefore rule that we must hold off any action until there had been a full meeting of the Security Council. I will also issue orders for the pilots involved in this incident to be arrested and brought up on war crimes charges.”

There was a rumble of discontent around the war room. Bush heard it and that made up his mind. He looked at the JAG officer with contempt. “Place this man under arrest. Remove him, get rid of him. From now on, the United States will act in its own best interests and defend itself as best it can. Any other nations who want to join in this struggle are welcome to do so.”

“There might be quite a few of those Mister President.” Secretary Rice was carrying a mass of message flimsies. “We’re getting messages from other countries right now. First one is from Mr. George Yong-Boon Yeo, Minister of Foreign Affairs in Singapore. Apparently a demon landed there, carrying a demand for Singapore’s submission.”

>>8589882

“What did he do?”

“Nothing Sir. The demon’s demand was wrapped up in some sort of parchment and he dropped it on landing. Littering is a serious offense in Singapore Sir, and the Singapore police riddled the demon with bullets and then beat it to death. Anyway, Mr. Yeo says that Singapore’s going to fight and they’d appreciate our help.”

“He’s got it. Who else?”

“Another one landed in Bangkok, Thailand. That one didn’t get very far either. It wouldn’t bribe the police at a checkpoint to let it through and then got stuck in the Bangkok traffic jams. The Army blew it away. With tanks. Apparently, local street traders are selling bits of demon to the tourists. Anyway, same message from the Thais, they’re going to fight and they’d appreciate any help we can send, only they’re adding if we need any aid, we only have to ask.”

“Nice of them. Well, people, it looks like the war has started. Let’s try to do a better job this time round, right?”

>>8589662

Humanity were believed to be a very peaceful race. Aside from the incident in Sol (which was a misunderstanding) they had always gotten everything they wanted through peaceful negotiation and espoused a message of peace.

Their military was often found on worlds hit by disaster aiding the populace and local authorities and for a time it was believed that this is all the human military ever did. The humans not possessing the concept of a military force for conquest. Of course looking through their history would reveal otherwise but this was never done until after their war against the Banwai.

The Banwai were a race well known to the galactic council as troublemakers, criminals and pirates. Indeed many races had been attacked or extorted by the Banwai in exchange for something they wanted.

The great wealth and seemingly peaceful nature of the humans must have been as the humans put it "a gold shaft" to them. So the Banwai launched an attack on a human world. They quickly conquered the world in a lightning raid and demanded an extortionate sum for its release. The human response did not surprise the galaxy as they dithered and engaged in negotiations. In hindsight we now see they were merely stalling for time and distracting the Banwai invaders from the humans plan.

It was in the seventh negotiation for the release of the human world of Tosev 3 that the humans made their demands known. In a move that shocked all those present and all those watching the negotiations on the galactic net.

The humans said that for every day that Tosev 3 remained under Banwai control they would destroy a Banwai world until there were no more Banwai worlds left. After this they would move onto the few allies the Banwai had.

>>8589865
thats improbable I calculate 12387462389476:1

>>8589712
>>8589734
>>8589745
>>8589760
>>8589765
>>8589772
>>8589784
>>8589807
>>8589817
>>8589839
>>8589852
>>8589868
>>8589882
>>8589889

end of chapter one.

it's a fucking long story all about HUMANITY FUCK YEA beating the shit out of religions of old. The guy who wrote it is still continuing it.

http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?f=35&t=118771

there's the link again for you all.

Sombody archive this one, I'd like to read it in the morning.

>>8589904
For the love of god moar "tiny" humans kicking ass.

>>8589904
moar of the tiny terrans

>>8589904
But which did we start with to show we could do it?

>>8589904

Amid the laughter from the Banwai delegation the human representative said that because humans were nice guys they would only destroy one Banwai world as payment for the weeks Tosev 3 had been held so far.

In the blink of an eye Ban the homeworld of the Banwai race was reduced to rubble.

The humans had invented a weapon horrifying in both its effect and simplicity.

Utilising common silica grains referred to by them as "sand" they had destroyed a world. They first gathered many tons of sand and then accelerated it to just under the speed of light, then releasing it from the containers it was accelerated in they allowed it to hit the world they had targeted. Normally the atmosphere of a world would destroy any such particles but their sheer velocity had enabled them to pass through the atmosphere before friction could destroy them. Each grain impacted with enough force to shatter continents.

The Banwai immediately surrendered. The humans in a move that shocked the galaxy claimed the Banwai worlds and people.

Ten years on the Banwai were now just another part of the greater human civilisation holding the same rights as any citizen of the newly dubbed "Sol Federation"

Three years after this the Keldeen Consortium in a negotiation that took two whole years agreed to be bought out by the Sol Federation expanding the humans borders.

Over time more and more races and worlds joined the Sol Federation until eventually the Galactic Council accepted that its time was up with the Sol Federation replacing them as the galactic power.

The Federation government was as diverse as its membership with the elected Chairman of the federation being a Banwai at the time of the Sol Federation replacing the council as the galactic power.

>>8589985
>>But which did we start with to show we could do it?

huh?

>>8590014
Excellent.

>>8590017
If we say we're gonna pop one of their planets for each day that they don't get the fuck off our planet, we need to show that we can damn well do it.

Their homeworld is a good, yet atrocious, show of force.

>>8590014
I don't think friction even works like that. Wouldn't the increased speed only make it burn up faster? It's still passing through the same amount of atmospheric particles.

>>8590014
My inherent nitpicking-ness doesn't like your/thier superweapon (The faster the sand is going, the faster it will be obliterated by friction), but I lurve your writefaggin', so this isn't a complaint, it's a request for more.

>>8590014

Humanity itself continued to change. Most races simply reached a plateau of evolution and stayed that way.

Humanity reached this plateau in their late 20th century. In their early 21st century they had decided to take matters into their own hands and with the influx of alien technology had been able to begin in earnest.

By the time the Sol Federation had become the government of this galaxy humans frequently implanted cybernetic devices in themselves (often linking to the bodies they used when among other races), engaged in genetic engineering on themselves and had even begun to experiment with replacing parts of their body with nanotech.

Other races either didn't understand this and left it alone or picked up the habit themselves. The Banwai in particular adopted the human philosophy of "assisted evolution"

>>8590059

I'm not 100%

Its a superweapon I saw in a sci-fi book that was almost always pretty solid on its science. I asked a friend of mine who studies physics about it and he at first looked like he was about to say its stupid, then made a thinking face and then said he'd have to get back to me on that one due to the speeds involved.

Remember they were accelerated to 0.9c. Thats fucking fast and physics starts to get a bit wonky.

Transhumans? YES!

>>8590082
This seems like a really bad ending, or a really good interlude.

Do not disappoint.

>>8590059
I'm not the writer, but it could just as easily be:
"The particles were accelerated to the point that upon contact with the atmosphere, the kinetic energy unleashed itself as heat, the temperatures becoming hot enough to ignite the atmosphere and to turn the world into a ball of flame"
Better?

>>8590059
If the sand is moving at .99c friction isn't going to matter.
Even if the sand breaks up into individual molecules it's still going to deliver its energy.

>>8590071
Near c kinetic kill weapons don't give a shit about your friction.

if anything, they would never touch the ground. However, the energy released would be like billions of air-bursting nukes.

Poor people who get hit years down the road by the spray, makes that mass effect conversation about targeting look tame.

>>8590014
i think it would blurt throught he atmosphere too quick to bund and punch a tiny hole in th crust but thats about it

>>8589734
>>8589745
>>8589760
should I just post the link for you anon, as theres no way in hell you'll get it all posted before we autosage 4 threads.
http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?f=35&t=118771

>>8590115
Humanity is so awesome the rest of the galaxy decides to emulate them, as best they can?

>>8590153
Anon posted the link. Twice even. And he hadn't intended to post all of it, it seems.

>>8590082

Thanks to the superweapons devised by the humans along with the peaceful nature of the Sol Federation there was rarely any war in the galaxy. Many people quickly pointed out that the human philosophy of "peace means having the bigger stick" worked a lot better than the Councils system of economic sanctions.

The few wars that did spring up were quickly put down through overwhelming force with the same military that conquered these worlds then helping to rebuild them and helping the populace rebuild their shattered lives. There was even one instance where a race long blighted by disaster had instigated war purely to receive the federations help rebuilding.

And this is the way the galaxy remains even today

>>8590082
And I know evolution doesn't work that way.

>>8590175
>There was even one instance where a race long blighted by disaster had instigated war purely to receive the federations help rebuilding.
I like these guys.

>>8590155

More the fact its the end of the story and he introduces a brand new element, that needs expanding on. Just feels like something thrown in as an afterthought.

>>8590236
Well, sure, if you wanna look at it that way.

>>8590175

Around two years ago the humans suddenly underwent a change in their behaviour. Nobody really knows what happened but it seemed the humans had made some scientific discovery that in an odd turn of behaviour for them they didn't share with the galaxy.

After that point no human was seen outside the robotic bodies they had always used to communicate with us. Travel to human worlds due to the unfavourable conditions for us and the high probability of damaging things had never occurred either meaning no humans were seen.

Of course they were still active and about in the galaxy. We just never saw them outside their robot bodies, which admittedly was not that odd as many had decided to simply have their brains transplanted into the machines when their flesh bodies started to wear down.

The galactic community chalked it up to a quirk and ignored it seeing as humanity remained the same as ever in every other regard.

Worlds were terraformed for colonisation to help those who had lost their homes. Aid was brought to the needy. The rotational spin of the galaxy itself was harvested as an energy source to fuel ever great acts of peace. Science continued to progress in leaps and bounds.

then the Yuuzhan Vong invasion started

>>8590175
I always find it how half of the humanity fuck yea threads end up painting the human race to be as schitzo about wars as the United States are: fuck your shit then send you fruit-baskets while trying to build it up bigger and better. damn we're nuts.

>>8590266
Is dat sum Singularity?

id like a story about how our attempts of helping them fucked them up more than war did and so the humans were banned form any peacekeeping duitys by commitie

>>8590315
I think you're missing the point of "Humanity, Fuck Yeah!"

>>8590276

The consequences of WW1 that lead to WW2 taught people a lesson. Unhappy people are a security threat.

Hence, Marshall Plan.

>>8590357
its the first one Ive read and there are only like five storys on this tread, screencaps included

>>8590368

Also, a rearmed Germany and Japan were necessary as a counterbalance to Russia & China.

>>8590266

Nobody who was alive at that time will ever forget the last speech of humanity.

It was not uncommon for humans to engage in long winded speeches on whatever topic interested them. Whether it be science, peace, war, philosophy or food. They could and would talk for hours in colourful prose. This speech was short in comparison.

The current Chairman of the federation who was a human took the stage calling the entire decision chamber to quiet. He then began humanity's last speech which is recorded here:

"Friends we have been here but fourty three years. Not even a lifetime among our kind but in that time the galaxy has been reborn. Peace, understanding, reason, friendship and unity now rule the galaxy.

There are none here who could say that we have accomplished great things together.

And that is why with the utmost sadness in my heart I must tell you all that we will be going on ahead. We eagerly await the time when you will join us."

At this point the robotic bodies of the human delegation powered down.

Panic ensued and a dismantling of the bodies showed that their human occupants were missing. The silence of the human worlds and human ships was noticed and they were discovered to be empty as well.

Not a single human remained anywhere in the galaxy. Nor was there a single human body.

It was as if the entire species had just vanished without a trace of what had caused them to vanish.

>>8590460
Dang, 43 years? That IS quick.

>>8589941
Stuart Slade's armageddon is the second worst thing ever written, after 'The Eye of Argon.' You are a fucking piece of shit for thinking it's good.

A critique of everything bad about the story would be as long as the story itself.

>>8590460

Reactions to this were varied. The Banwai, formerly the most despicable pirates, killers, warmongers and criminals of this galaxy have shouldered the burden of filling in for humanity and continue to emulate the example of the ones who brought them to their knees then taught them to walk again.

The Sol Federation continues to do its utmost to live up to the example of its founders.

This museum you children now stand in was founded as soon as their disappearance was discovered to commemorate the passing of a species that changed the galaxy forever.

Now next I will show you the holographic simulation of a pre-contact human city where we will learn about how proof of alien life changed humanity's outlook on life.

>>8590497

The way I went with it is that the technology and theory already existed but it was scattered and nobody had put it together.

It just took our aggressive knack for progress to piece it all together.

bravo! good end

>>8590460

I B'awwwed. Good end.

>>8590539
Fair enough. Some nice writefaggotry, I dare say.

>>8590560

>>8590519 is the end.

>>8590539
well done Commisar! your earlier statements (>>8587543
) were far to humble!

>>8590595

I'm not a brilliant writer >.>

>>8590602
you just posted something that would lead us to believe otherwise.

>>8590621

Oh come on its not that good.

My pacing is terrible and I couldn't think of a decent last line for the museum guide

dude this MUST be saved! this is like school textbook material! (in a good way)

so... how the fuck were aliens able to develop FT fucking L travel and yet not even consider using it to crash shit into planets?

>>8590633

Well then, refine it. I mean, this is good and very entertaining and people love it and some wanting more. Read some good novels or pick up a "how to write a novel" book and learn, then come back and tune it up if it makes you comfortable, just don't deny a good compliment.

>>8590711

I think you're overhyping it a bit

>>8590602

You sir, are a liar!

I have been sitting patiently for each and ever update you have made.

Bravo sir, bravo. You do your ancestors proud.

>>8590827

Its a travel device not a weapon.

rolled 6, 5, 4 = 15

>>8590873
Every device is a weapon.

>>8590901

Now you're thinking like a human!

giant aliens would have to spend all of their time eating to maintain a huge body. they wouldn't evolve advanced brains.

>>8590952

Oh shush

This thread fills me with so much pride.

FUCK YES HUMANITY! YOU ARE THE CRAFTIEST SPECIES EVER!

Before reading this thread, I never really got HUMANITYFUCKYEAH.

I do now.

I love this thread.

I guess I could rewrite my Valiance history story.

Anyone who remembers the Valiance threads will maybe remember I said I was going to try writing some stories based on it and then went on to flesh out the backstory of the Valiance's universe

>>8591224
I remember that.

>>8591296

I also did a rather bad story about the current captain not liking his new assignment

this thread needs to be archived. or that story needs to be saved.
cobra wimminz always related

rolled 11 = 11

Humanity, FUCK YEAH!

>>8592542
Feel free to do tend to that, anon. I'm too lazy/need to be doing my goddamn work.

>>8591224
Please do, you're a lot better than me.

>>8592798

Well I just saved the story I wrote so I'll probly post that up in the next HFY thread

>>8589190
>>8589262
>>8589473
>>8589589
>>8589662
>>8589904
>>8590014
>>8590082
>>8590175
>>8590266
>>8590460
>>8590519

Wow...

/tg/: the only board that loves war porn more than /k/

>their sheer velocity had enabled them to pass through the atmosphere before friction could destroy them
HAHAHAHAHA WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT