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  • File : 1268957127.jpg-(90 KB, 600x750, poster50863118.jpg)
    90 KB PALADIN! FUCK YEAH. Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:05 No.8652839  
    Ok, let's hear some awesome fucking Paladin stories.

    GOOD FOR THE GOOD GOD!
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:07 No.8652871
    one time i made a moral choice and did no evil

    /thread
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:09 No.8652911
         File1268957359.jpg-(347 KB, 500x1032, karlfranz.jpg)
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    One time I fought in the service of my feudal lord as I was bound to by oaths sworn before God, but I was always merciful to my enemies and never raised my hand to a woman, so that's alright.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:11 No.8652947
    One time I brought justice to a group of bandits who had been attacking a town. I was merciful and turn the survivors over to be incarcerated in the town jail.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:13 No.8652977
    One time a wizard told me to kill a baby or he'd ill 1000 people right then and there. I threw the baby at him and score a crit because Paladin's always take secret option 3
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:15 No.8653003
    One time, I was a paladin. My party were on our way tracking down some bad guys out in the frontier, and we got ambushed by a group of bandits trying to free us of our valuables.

    We proceeded to slaughter them in self-defence. One guy surrendered at the very end (the rest were extremely dead due to high damage), and begged for mercy. I told him he had to be punished for his crimes, so he suggested that we take him back to civilisation to face trial and shit.

    Now, our hunt for the bad guys was under considerable time pressure, and taking him back would have eaten several days, so fuck if we were going to bother to drag him back to civilisation. I told him that no civilisation had jurisdiction here, and that the only law that would be found was that which people chose to enforce themselves. Then I told him that a common punishment for thievery was to cut off someone's hand.

    So I did that.

    Then I laid on hands to stop the bleeding, and informed him he was now free to go, and if I ever heard of him doing anything morally objectionable again, I would hunt him down and cut off his head.

    Was quite a good day, that one.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:15 No.8653013
    Once I played a campaign where the DM didn't go out of his way to make me fall.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:15 No.8653017
         File1268957750.jpg-(89 KB, 750x600, 1267935422009.jpg)
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    <The Clash>They fought the law and the law won. They fought the law and the law won...</The Clash>
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:17 No.8653035
    >>8653013
    Obviously fake
    >> Lies Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:22 No.8653122
    Once I played a Neutral Good Incarnate who went around detecting evil and having a massive to-hit bonus. I couldn't fall and I called myself a paladin. It was great.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:23 No.8653130
    I once played a paladin who fell because he swore by his god to protect this village. When the village was attacked by hordes of barbaric orcs he saw the destruction and death and lost his faith ina god that would allow such things to happen. None of the other members knew i was a fallen paladin, and upon the eve of the final battle he understood why his god did not interfere on that day. In the midst of battle he regained the favour of his god and unleashed divine fury on the armies of evil at the cost of his life. He died a martyr.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:24 No.8653150
    zzzzzzzzzzzz

    all these stories "this one time i did this thing and this happened and then GOOD END"
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:25 No.8653155
         File1268958323.jpg-(83 KB, 500x380, zengar.jpg)
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    One time, I cleaved and smited (smote?) evil.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:25 No.8653162
    >Ok, let's hear some awesome fucking Paladin stories.

    >no stories about Paladins fucking

    Damnit guys.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:30 No.8653216
         File1268958612.png-(849 KB, 1020x1320, never let you fall.png)
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    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:32 No.8653257
         File1268958749.png-(79 KB, 1227x340, Warforged Paladin death.png)
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    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:33 No.8653279
    >>8653216
    ew
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:37 No.8653328
         File1268959030.jpg-(75 KB, 500x396, Atticus Finch.jpg)
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    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 03/18/10(Thu)20:38 No.8653349
    Well, I suppose I could relay a story of a paladin.
    Bit ot would take a long time and isn't as good as the time my party was The Who and blew the minds of 340 orcs with a rod of Gust of Wind.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:40 No.8653368
    >>8653328

    And that is /thread.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:41 No.8653378
         File1268959291.jpg-(34 KB, 300x475, Deed_of_Paksenarrion.jpg)
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    Just read this instead.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:42 No.8653393
    rolled 67 = 67

    >>8653328
    Fuck yes. Atticus Finch is a badass.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:42 No.8653394
    >>8653349
    >the time my party was The Who and blew the minds of 340 orcs with a rod of Gust of Wind
    What? I must hear more.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:47 No.8653465
    This one time I took a class that grants me innate protection from every sexually transmitted disease and then prohibits me from fucking tavern wenches.


    FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUU
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:48 No.8653476
    >>8653349
    Tell both. We will vote on which is better afterwards.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:48 No.8653481
    You aren't a real paladin unless you turn all your enemies into farmers.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:52 No.8653526
         File1268959968.jpg-(316 KB, 916x1500, 1264126626138.jpg)
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    There was a story someone posted a few weeks back about how he was playing a Paladin, only to fall, and then end up a Blackguard for a bullshit reason when the DM temporarily had to drop out, and the game was instead run by some cunt who hated religion and failed to realize D&D wasn't the place for your personal opinions. The real DM ends up coming back and, instead of forgetting all that happened, he uses it to set up another plot. The Paladin ends up with his class restored, and a crystal that lets him switch back to blackguard when he gets angry.

    I thought I saved it when I read it, but I can't seem to find it now. If anyone else saved it, it was an awesome fucking Paladin story.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:57 No.8653592
         File1268960263.jpg-(315 KB, 1563x1788, 1258345260257.jpg)
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    >>8653526
    That sounds pretty awesome. FIND IT
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)20:59 No.8653623
    >>8653465
    >prohibits me from fucking tavern wenches.

    no it doesn't
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:00 No.8653641
         File1268960433.jpg-(140 KB, 400x335, warforged paladin.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:01 No.8653661
    >>8653130
    ITT we don't understand that a paladin's power doesn't originate in a deity
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 03/18/10(Thu)21:02 No.8653672
         File1268960549.png-(208 KB, 937x1344, saved by someone else.png)
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    >>8653394
    the song was actually "Don't get fooled again" one of my players called me and said "Hey faggot, wrong song." and yeah, i was promsied boneless wings but they bought me a pizza instead, it was still good though.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:02 No.8653676
    >>8653641

    Sweet pic
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:04 No.8653700
    >>8653661
    ITT some faggot doesn't know that in some settings Paladins do, in fact, have to have a deity, and that even if they do not technically require a deity and can instead be powered by pure faith in goodness, the Paladin in question had LOST THEIR FAITH. The object of their faith was irrelevant.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:04 No.8653707
         File1268960693.jpg-(276 KB, 987x1500, 1250447694511.jpg)
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    >>8653676
    it's from Races of Eberron for the Warforged Paladin alternate class features
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:05 No.8653723
    >>8653700
    Losing faith isn't evil or dishonorable (in most circumstances), therefore it will not make you fall. Under any circumstance unless the DM says otherwise.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:08 No.8653755
    >>8653723
    Correction, only evil actions will make one fall in the RAW. So please, specify how losing faith is evil.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:08 No.8653765
    >>8653592

    >>8653526 here. Managed to find it again:

    I know Dungeons and Dragons isn't a game you're supposed to "win" but the little victories along the way sure do feel good. Whether it's defeating a large monster, saving an NPC everyone likes, or that rare moment of defeating the DM when they're doing their best to make the game boring for you.

    This is my story.

    I've been playing a Paladin of Kord for a couple months now and the game had been going really good. Our DM has a lot going on and is taking about a month off of the game to sort out some things. That's not a big deal, we're all human after all. We were just going to play something else, or run a short game while he was gone, but a friend of his that we didn't know so well said he'd like to run the game while he was gone and our DM agreed to it. We're taking a little break from the main story and doing some side stuff with this guy. He seems like an okay guy, so we all get on board.

    Turns out he's one of those "I'm still mad that mom made me get up early on Sundays even though I'm 30 now, and not even the religions of a pen and paper game shall be spared the wrath of my fat rolls" types and gives mountains of shit to Paladins.

    To skip ahead a bit in the story:

    After fight a fairly large band of orcs we get to their chieftain and I end up challenging him to a duel to try cripple the whole tribe. He's a Barbarian and around the same level as me, so it's a pretty even fight. A few rounds in he Rages and on my turn I say "I roar back and do my best to match his ferocity" and roll for my attacks. The DM then says for the Orc Cheif's turn "A bolt of white lightning strikes you and you feel Kord's eyes turn from you and you begin to feel weaker immediately. You've been stripped of your powers for acting out in anger."
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:09 No.8653775
    >>8653378
    OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEST FUCKING BOOK
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:09 No.8653779
    >>8653765

    I immediately call a time out on the game to argue about this, because it's retarded.

    Me: "There are no rules, at all, saying a Paladin isn't allowed to be angry or fight hard."

    DM: "You're serving a god like some mindless pussy, of course he wants you to shine your shoes and look your best."

    Me: "Now I know you're just being a dick."

    DM: "My game, my rules."

    Me: "It isn't even your game."

    DM: "It is for right now. Now back to the game. Hopefully someone small minded enough to serve some god will be able to fight without their dad behind them."

    Me: "Having used anger as fuel for the destruction of evil many times, I easily assume someone is tampering with my connection to Kord or perhaps he's in some danger. I build on the anger of the fight and try to fuel my powers on the outrage of someone attacking my god."

    I'd hoped I could just ride that out as a "Paladin devoted to a cause" long enough to get the proper DM back and wave this away. But no.

    DM: "Kord is insulted by one of his mindless servants rebelling against his will and severs you from his service forever."

    Me: "I call upon St.Cuthbert, God of Law, to support me in my time of need and to seek out answers to this shift in law and order."

    DM: "Turn coats aren't neutral, they're definitely Evil. Your alignment shifts to Lawful Evil, and you become a Black Guard of St.Cuthbert."

    Me: "This is fucking retarded."

    DM: "You lose 500 XP for breaking character mid-turn."
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:09 No.8653781
    >>8653723
    It was either the DM's decision or, as sounds more likely by the story, the player's decision that the paladin lost his faith and hence also his powers. Although he may not have technically violated the code of conduct they decided that mechanically speaking, this made him fallen. It is a decision entirely in keeping with the spirit and sense of the game, and did not need some faggot going "herp derp paladins don't need gods".
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:09 No.8653783
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    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:10 No.8653788
    >>8653779

    Me: "Fine. I use my new found powers of hate to further the fight against the orcs. I don't intend to leave any alive."

    After taking down the Orc Cheif, who didn't seem phased by the cosmic wanking going on right infront of him, and dealing with all the other orcs who jumped in after the "duel to determine the winner of the war." The DM says "Okay, two members of the party are Good, and obviously can't tolerate having an Evil member in the group. You're cast from the party."

    The person playing a Bard quickly responded with "This person's been with us for in-game years of adventuring, we wouldn't just abandon him after all that because something has shifted in his power. Besides, it's not like we all have 'Is He Evil?' goggles on."

    DM: "You can keep him with you, but everyone who's Good and finds out he's Evil and doesn't do anything about it will shift to Neutral."

    At this we take a break, and discuss what was widely regarded as "steaming horseshit" and decide that we'll just ride it out until the other DM gets back and pretend none of this happened.

    The game goes by, me nearly dying every single fight, and we don't do anything very memorable.

    We're just waiting for our usual DM to get back, wondering why the hell he is friends with this dickblaster.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:10 No.8653795
         File1268961049.jpg-(42 KB, 216x240, palidin qfg lego.jpg)
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    >>8653723
    If you lose your faith in goodness and rightousness, I would say that is falling, if its not evil.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:11 No.8653798
    >>8653788

    We just start all in general disregarding rules, because the DM does, and have a fun game around this DMs wanking. For the most part, as long as someone doesn't bring up Good aligned Divine powers, he was a decent enough DM.

    Our original DM finally gets back and we tell him what all went down. He looked through the notes of the player who writes EVERYTHING down, and says "Well, I don't see why we can't play this out."

    We're all shocked, and wondering what idea he has.

    This man is now cemented as one of my favorite DMs I've ever met.

    He manages to turn it around and have my Blackguard abilities being drawn from Vecna, who had also intercepted my connection to Kord. Through a series of quests involving a crystal to siphon the power coming in from Vecna. Once I route his power to the crystal I'm able to get my powers from Kord back. We went to talk to one of the highest priests of Kord, and he tells us this has happened to several Paladins, most of which lost their minds at the switch since they weren't able to see that Kord's dishonor wasn't true, or succumbed to the new evil powers.

    Now I have my power and connection to Kord back, and a crystal pulling in power from Vecna. We talked to the priest about destroying it, or using it against him and he said "We've discussed this connection with the council and hope we can turn it against Vecna, to play his own game and learn some of his secrets. Since you were able to see through his lies and fight his influence, we think you should keep it, and study it. It may be of some use. If you learn anything about how and why Vecna is doing this, send us a message immediately. Normally you could speak to the high priest of any of our temples and get word to us, but we don't know how deep this corruption goes."

    I hold onto the crystal, keeping it on my belt buckle so that it doesn't get near my eyes when I use Detect Evil, since it tends to read as "whoa fuck, there's an evil god right there!"
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:12 No.8653813
    >>8653781
    >It is a decision entirely in keeping with the spirit and sense of the game, and did not need some faggot going "herp derp paladins don't need gods".

    That last bit is only going to provoke him, you know.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:12 No.8653823
         File1268961166.jpg-(90 KB, 600x750, 1260698941598.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:12 No.8653827
    >>8653795
    >pic
    WWWWWWWWHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKK
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:13 No.8653831
    >>8653798

    Time goes on, and we're rushing against the clock to finish the main story at this point. The main story, in short version, is that a great warrior has been slaughtering kings and their families, conquering all he can, and has been bringing soldiers his army kills back as undead to help him fight. There's more to it, but it doesn't really affect this story.

    Along the way there we get in a fight with a some high level bandits who've been payed off to attack anyone who looks like they're hero types. The 5 bandits are 3 Fighters, 1 Rogue, and 1 Barbarian. I get in a similar fight with the Barbarian, and pull out the old "roar back at him" in a throw back to the fight that caused all the prior silliness. The DM says "You feel an oddly familiar surge and shift, and you feel your old Blackguard powers shift to the front."

    I start to worry that the evil in the crystal is going to take over, or already has, so I finish off the Barbarian and step out of the fight for a round to "focus, pray, collect my thoughts, and calm down" and the DM says "as your rage subsides you feel the evil power fade and your connection to Kord is still there, as strong as ever."
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:15 No.8653864
    >>8653831

    I start to worry that the evil in the crystal is going to take over, or already has, so I finish off the Barbarian and step out of the fight for a round to "focus, pray, collect my thoughts, and calm down" and the DM says "as your rage subsides you feel the evil power fade and your connection to Kord is still there, as strong as ever."

    After a bit of out of character discussion and some in-character party talk, we determine that the crystal resonates with the anger that allowed Vecna to slide in the first time, and lets me draw his power from the crystal.

    In crunch terms, I can swap from Paladin to Blackguard with a full-round action that allows a single attack or movement. No other actions, because I need enough focus to clam or enrage myself, and those are things I can do while fighting or running.

    This leads to a few minutes of Spider-Man jokes, but once those are out of the way it turns into one of the most badass characters I've ever played.

    We go on, I get used to the "two character sheets" ordeal, and we finally catch the man who's been slaughtering kings. He's a corrupted Paladin of Kord, who's been tricked, and Vecna has fooled him into thinking that all these kings are evil and want to strip the land of the god's influence, and if he doesn't conquer them soon all Paladins will be enemies of the state.

    His faith was so strong that he's kept his connection to Kord, though, Vecna can only speak to him and trick him from there.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:16 No.8653868
         File1268961384.jpg-(487 KB, 803x1200, 1266995998502.jpg)
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    What if there was an army made up entirely of Paladins?
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:16 No.8653875
    >>8653755
    Keep reading the entry, broski. It says "A paladin who ceases to be lawful good, who willfully commits an evil act, or who grossly violates the code of conduct loses all paladin spells and abilities", you can fall from being a douchebag who isn't technically evil but doesn't follow his code.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:17 No.8653888
    >>8653864

    We rush into the throne room of the second to last king, to see him beating King Throle to death with his own crown. He sees us, and yells "Kord has told me of you. The villains and turn coats who burning his temples!" We try to reason with him and tell him what's actually going on, but he throws the crown of the dying king like a Frisbee strait into my teeth while yelling "BETRAYER!" and telling one of his undead guards to bring him his sword.

    I run to him while the rest of the party try to get the sword from his Skeletal Half-Ogre Lieutenant. They manage to kill him, but the next guard grabs the sword and makes a run for it.

    When I get to the Paladin I turn Blackguard and we have a very odd reversal of the Good vs Evil fight. We're nearly evenly matched, with neither of us getting in many hits or doing much damage when we do, since I opted not to pull out my mace since he was unarmed too. It turns into a magic fight, as well as Paladins and Blackguards can, until his guard throws his sword to him. As soon as he catches the sword the armor on that arm shatters, and his arm looks burnt black. He sees it, and understands what he's done and yells "STOP!" to his guards, just as a black beam like a lightning bolt strikes him through the window.
    >> What a Faggot !QF5oszRdpY 03/18/10(Thu)21:18 No.8653896
    >>8653868
    Fall for one, Fall for all?
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:18 No.8653897
    >>8653827
    Its the palidin from the Quest for glory series. Made from lego.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:18 No.8653903
    >>8653888

    A voice explodes through the throne room, shattering the stained glass windows, and I identify it as the voice of Vecna, having heard it in my mind before.

    The Paladin his the floor, dead from the bolt. His guards, however, seem to get stronger and smarter, and start fighting harder. We kill the remaining guards (one of which was thrown out of the now open windows and landed on the point of gate below. It didn't kill it, but the castle had an angry and loud undead for a decoration for a while.) and then we hear Vecna boom through the throne room again yelling "STAND UP AND FIGHT, I NEVER SAID FOR YOU TO STOP!" and the Paladin stands back up, his golden armor appearing to rust as he stood up. He was now an Undead Blackguard.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:20 No.8653917
    >>8653788
    >>8653788
    >>8653788
    Awesome story, thanks for finding it =D
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:20 No.8653928
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    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:21 No.8653943
    >>8653903

    He's much stronger than before, having gained a pretty big combat advantage from becoming an Undead Blackguard, strait from Vecna. The fight goes on for a LONG time. Even our heaviest hits don't seem to bother him.

    The Rogue in the party pulls his helmet off and leaves a dagger in his neck, and we get to see that his face is rotting "Raiders of the Ark" style as we fight.

    We start pulling off more armor, and find that any pieces we take off make that limb rot extremely fast, and become easy to remove. After getting one of this spaulders off he stares at me and says "I won't be the only one!" and two rounds later cuts off my left arm.

    I ask the DM if I can get a clue on what the armor removal does, crunch wise, and he eventually tells me that taking off armor pieces is like removing Hit Dice from him.

    So I use the loss of my arm as a reason to get pissed and turn Blackguard. Then I try to Command him instead of Turn. The attempt fails, so we pry off a few more armor pieces and I try again, managing to get control of him. I order him to stand in the armor removal pose, and we just stake his armor off like Squires. We only have to get off his belt when he breaks my control and stabs the stump of my removed arm, which takes me out of the fight.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:21 No.8653955
    >>8653943

    The Rogue gets a knife under the belt and cuts it, dropping off the last of his armor, and a few hits from the party finishes him off.

    They're able to stabilize me and get me on my feet. I look at my poisoned stump, still angry and in Blackguard form, and stomp the skull of the former Paladin. A purple flame shoots out of it and out the window. The bones of the skeletal blackguard creak and move a little, like when you kill a bug and it thrashes around for a while afterward.

    We decide to break the bones with a hammer, worried that he'll come back, since the bones are moving. We pick up a couple bones each, and walk them over to a table and the Bard starts to get a hammer out of his pack. I pick up the bone from his left arm, like the one he took from me, and look at it. I, thinking it would just be some fun roleplaying, go Blackguard for just a moment because of the anger over my arm. As soon as I turned Blackguard, though, the bones from the arm flail wildly, and latches onto my stump. The armor that was on that arm earlier flies over to me and seals over the bone, looking like I have an arm there. I decided to destroy this evil appendage rather than keep it (The DM gave me one of those approving bobbing head nods when I said that) and I calmed down back to Paladin. But in Paladin form, it's not there. I just have an undead arm in Blackguard form.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:22 No.8653979
    >>8653955

    The campaign is over, but we all really liked our characters from this game (The other party members had gotten plenty of cool things, not just me. The Rogue,for example, had spent some time with some monks up in the mountains and had learned to fly.)

    So, next week we start a game where I'm playing a Paladin/Blackguard and I'm pretty excited.

    I should try to find something interesting to do with that arm, and something to do with my lack of arm in regular Paladin form, which I'll be in most of the time.

    The Dick DM came by today while a few of us were having a couple drinks at the DMs house and asked to join the game. I told him I'd rather force feed him his dog than let him in the game and he tried to start an argument with some "it's not my fault you're such a stupid person you'd follow religion" speech, when the DM interrupted him to tell him how he worked out all the stupid things he'd pulled. Dick DM then tried to claim it was his plan all along and they were in on it and Usual DM says "No it wasn't, you buttfucked gypsy, I told you not to pull that shit and keep it tame. I really doubt these people want to be in any gaming group with you now."

    Dick DM now has no gaming group at all, and apparently spends a good deal of time making characters to kill mine with and keeps asking to get into the game.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:23 No.8653996
    After a chasing down some kidnappers, busting through a wall and jumping climbing up a building and other thing just to tackle him and save the girl one was running away with, the NPC said "I can't believe you'd go through all that just for me!"

    I replied "I'd do it for anyone." and walked away.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:24 No.8654011
    >>8653979

    Henceforth, I'll only ever be able to remember this as the Story of Hulk Paladin.

    Something about a shining beacon of light and justice very stoically standing as the sole defender of a small village from the destructive force of an army of orcs is appealing. Especially when he's sitting there with a cigarette, talking to the orc leader, who just can't seem to shut up about how puny the one-armed paladin is.

    "UFGAR'S ARMY WILL MARCH OVER YOUR CORPSE, ONE-ARM! UFGAR WILL REIGN SUPREME WHEN HE HAS REACHED KING'S THRONE AND-"
    "You're making me angry."
    *Dark circles, like the sort you get when you haven't slept in thirty six hours, appear around the paladin's eyes and the gleam fades from his armor*
    "... I don't think you'll like me when I'm angry."
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:27 No.8654055
    >>8653979
    >>8653979
    >>8653979
    It's stories like this that make people like /tg/ want to play RPGs.

    Epic story is truly epic.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:28 No.8654073
         File1268962099.jpg-(36 KB, 328x369, 1251432379685.jpg)
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    >>8653979
    >>8653979
    epic
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:29 No.8654082
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    >>8653979
    Aproval.jpg
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:34 No.8654162
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    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:38 No.8654233
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    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:51 No.8654396
    So glad they took the LG clause off the Paladin in 4e. Now I play an Unaligned Warforged Paladin of Kord, after having a heated discussion whether or not 'forged have souls (he said they're artificial so they have no souls, I say they're sentient so they have one) he decided I could play one.

    So the backstory is he doesn't know whom or why he was made, but his Birth Forge made him around 3 years ago. It was a Paladin of Kord whom by accident stumbled upon the forge, and activated it. My character was one of three 'forged to be made before the materials ran out and the forge shut down.

    Well the Paladin helped us get out of the dungeon we were found in, but the other two 'forged didn't make it. Neither did the Paladin, whom gave me his holy symbol, sword, shield, and armor; before he died the Paladin told me where the nearest Church of Kord was (about a day's walk, on site of an ancient battlefield). He took the name Kor after the first words he heard, Kord, and started to train in the temple. Kor was sent by Kord after his training was complete to find out why the local minotaur tribe stopped worshiping Kord. His investigations left him trapped in a dungeon, chained to a wall for who knows how long.

    Kor finally awoke when a new group of adventurers came, but it wasn't in till the area he was in was flooded with water did he have a chance to free himself.

    I haven't had much time RPing with this guy, since he was spur of the moment creation since the party needed a defender.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)21:56 No.8654461
    One of the my favorite characters ever was from a steampunk/fantasy version of WWI. He was a Sir Reginald Fairbanks, Paladin of the British Empire and the only Brit in the party. (We had 2 Americans, a Canadian and a Cheese-fucking Frog.)
    I memorized the lyrics to "The British Grenadiers" for that character, so he could sing it during battle.

    So, it was close to the climax of the campaign. The Kaiser's Dread Manufactures have unleashed a tide of mechanical soldiers powered by demonic energies and the party was the only thing standing between these monsters and the Tommies on the front line. I had actually been absent from the past two sessions due to a trip the family had wanted me to go on with them. It had been arranged beforehand with the DM that my character would be called back to be honored by the Queen for my accomplishments during the war.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:00 No.8654515
    I'll tell this one for my friend who plays in my game.

    We were defending a small dwarven town from an orc raid led by a few drow. During the second attack, the orcs were leading in some trolls. A few oil and alchohol pits filled with FIRE kept them away, but soon their secret weapon showed up. A mother fucking hill giant, lumbering in like a giant retard.

    He ran for the defenses my PCs had set up (the paladin's player is a big Les Miserables fan, and he named his pali Enjorlas and gave him the power to detect when building barricades will be essential to the plot). He starts swinging while the monk and sorcerer fill his ass with arrows from atop a guard tower. That becomes his first target, and the tower soon falls.

    Well, my friend took cleave for a reason. He charged the giant and three orcs. He smited into the first one, and thanks to my house rule, the smite continued into the second orc. It dropped to, and so did the third one.

    At this point, it was his paladin and the hill giant. The hill giant hadn't been hit, and my friend had only his one attack to use before he got his ass beat. So, he rolled.

    Natural 20.

    Lucky, he rolled again

    Another 20.

    Now, we're interested. The undead sorcerer turned off his ipod. The monk put away her sketchbook. Shit was about to get real.

    My friend rolls again,

    Motherfucking natural 20.

    In my game, triple 20s equals an insta-kill on anyone save a god (and even then, it's never happened). My friend's pali sliced that giant's ugly head off, and the orcs still there shat brix and ran for the hills. They'd be back, but their barricade buster was gone.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:03 No.8654552
    >>8654461

    So it's the party's darkest hour, they're about to be overwhelmed by the Kaiser's demonic troops when they hear singing. My Paladin comes trotting over a low hill on his faithful mount, Churchill, singing "The British Grenadiers" in full battle dress. The battle sort of stops as I make my entrance. But I'm shortly followed by a full company of Paladins of the Empire, all astride their own faithful mounts.

    As I stop singing, I call for a halt... "Lances at the READY! On my command... CHARGE!"

    We fuckpwned the Kaisers unstoppable army that day, captured the Kaiser, and brought an end to The Great War.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:06 No.8654585
    >>8654011
    you know, thats a badass story.

    however, I'll point this out... there is nothing stating that you can't be a pali, fall, take blackguard levels, then redeem yourself.

    this was, in fact, the central, driving characteristic of an NPC Rival to one of my Paladin Characters.

    he started off as an ally, we fought along side one another and vanquished much evil. Orcs, Undead, Tyrants, etc...

    but when a war that wasn't so easily won broke out, and his family and friends became victims, his heart fell to despair, and he fell. in anger, he asssulted a high priest-General of Heironious to find out why, but was foiled and fled. he became a Blackguard. he devised a plan to secretly join the enemy's army, subjecting himself to the cruelest torture of his heart, to live beside those he felt were responsible for his family's death, and do nothing. his objective was to climb the ranks and assassinate the leaders.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:06 No.8654588
    >>8654552
    Like fantasy fighting nazis?

    Sweet. I thought I was the only DM on /tg/ who pulled shit like that.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:08 No.8654607
    >>8654588

    WWI, boy. We were fighting the Kaiser.

    Nazi Necromancers was the second campaign.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:09 No.8654619
    >>8654585

    but then it got complicated. he had to do things he didn't enjoy to prove his "loyalty." he had to make himself like it. and eventually, he did.

    only after years in-game did we cross paths again, in the enemy leader's chambers, I standing to kill him, my ex-comrade being his right-hand. so we fought, and I actually felt bad, because I had loved that NPC, he was awesome, and I really felt bad for him. I disabled him, but he fucked our party up, then the BBEG came forward into the fight.

    so, after a sound thrashing, the wizard is getting ready to enact his Snafu plan (i.e. teleport the fuck out of there), the rogue is dead, the cleric is out cold, and I'm in negative hit points (fuck yeah Diehard). I get one action before I get Coup de Graced. I use Blood of the Martyr, heal the Blackguard for 1 hit point (putting myself at -7) and implore him to return to his senses.

    so, he picks up my sword, gut-fucks the BBEG in the kidneys with it, and then moves to save me, but too late. he confesses to me the horrible things he'd done over the past years, and about his family. as I'm ticking from -9 to -10, I tell him "it's OK. you'll see them, Like me, on the other side..." and I died.

    so, a while later, cleric wakes up, wizard comes back, they get me and the rogue's dead asses. they find my sword in the BBEG's back, so they think I killed him. Blackguard had since fled again. they res the rogue. I elect to stay dead, leaving the mystery as is.

    in a future game, I play a 1st level Paladin, and I meet the Grandmaster of the Riders of Hieroneous, champion of the Great War of years past. it's the blackguard, redeemed, but still with all his blackguard abilities, using my old paladin's name. he used "lolamnesia" and my paladin's very nondescript face (along with his copious scars) to assume my old Identity. it was a mind-fuck.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:10 No.8654629
    >>8654607
    Ah, I always forget they weren't called Nazis then.

    So was it? Nazi magic, nazi tech, or both? I did mostly nazi tech, except for a few casters, including the one batshit lich who wanted to put a swastika around Cthulhu's arm.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:12 No.8654642
    great story, thanks.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:12 No.8654651
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    >>8654619
    No, seriously, it was. That's why you get Reagan.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:13 No.8654657
    >>8654629

    Didn't really go into Cthulu or anything, but Goebbels was a Necromancer, attempting to find a magic artifact that would let him resurrect soldiers en masse in order to turn the tide of WWII in their favor.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:16 No.8654684
    >>8654651
    uh... thanks?
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:16 No.8654689
    >>8654657
    Ah, the Nazis and their secret weapons.

    And for me, the Cthulhu deal was more of a joke. After the lich's plane crashed on R'lyeh, Cthulhu gobbled him up, then yelled at the PCs for waking him up. The paladin bluffed him by saying they were pizza delivery men and the PCs all ended up singing "Rock-a-bye and good night" to put him back to sleep.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:16 No.8654690
    THE BEST
    http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Sameo

    /r/ing the image of the thread of it.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:27 No.8654818
    >>8654552
    >>8654461

    A paladin so British he shits Tea and Crumpets.

    Makes me proud to be part of the Empire! *manly tear*
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:28 No.8654830
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    >>8653661

    Well it did in my DM's campaign so fuck your shit.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:40 No.8655014
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    Playing an Earth Elemental in a Planescape game: Mechanically she was a Mineral Warrior Warforged Crusader, but only because the DM wouldn't let me be an actual Paladin.

    The party wakes up, naked and amnesiac, in the Abyss, inside some gigantic organic cave/monster. Everybody takes a few minutes to get their bearings- and then a Worm That Walks drops on us- a sentient, spellcasting swarm of maggots that can strip the flesh off of a skeleton in seconds. It starts shredding its way through some amnesiac NPCs, and everyone freaks out and starts running.

    Galatea runs the other way. She doesn't know who she is, who those other people are, or what monstrocity she's protecting them from, but- "It spat out the bones. That means I can stop it. I have to try."

    Punching ensued.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:42 No.8655034
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    >>8654552
    >The British Grenadiers

    Awesome fucking song
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:43 No.8655056
    >>8655014
    why wouldn't he let you play a paladin?
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:50 No.8655160
    >>8655014
    >"It spat out the bones. That means I can stop it. I have to try."
    I CAME
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:52 No.8655190
    Hey, did we ever get a follow-up on that DM who had one of his players kidnap and murder a paladin's family?
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)22:54 No.8655204
    >>8655190
    Yep, it's in the sup/tg/ archives. I forget the name of the thread though.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)23:01 No.8655302
    >>8655190
    Oh my yes.

    It was GLORIOUS. And archived.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)23:04 No.8655349
    >>8655190
    >kidnap and murder a paladin's family

    At what point does this seem like a good idea? Paladins are like Batmen; they are powered by dead family members!
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)23:10 No.8655438
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    >>8655349
    no one said the bad guys are smart
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)23:15 No.8655505
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/8104655/

    Here is the thread witht he Paladin who's family was murdered.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)23:15 No.8655506
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    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)23:17 No.8655530
    >>8655505
    Thanks.
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/18/10(Thu)23:27 No.8655665
    >>8653795
    Having a crisis of faith shouldn't make a paladin fall. This is the perfect time for said Paladin to consult his Gods with the appropriate Cleric, and find the resolution to his crisis, not fall and be abandoned by the Deity and order he serves. Exalted Deeds specifically mentions that that would make the Deity who allows such a thing to happen Evil.

    Good deities foster and inspire good in their followers, and would immediately react should they be presented with a crisis of faith. Perhaps a quest for personal atonement would be in order.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)23:33 No.8655734
    >>8655665
    He wasn't abandoned by the deity. He abandoned his deity, for he could not understand the deity's behaviour. So it didn't occur to him to do everything he could to commune directly with his god. Maybe such a thing wasn't possible in his setting. Maybe the very reason he fell was because he was so quick to turn away?

    Good gods gotta do good things, but god helps those who help themselves, man.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)23:39 No.8655806
    I remember this one time my old DM wouldn't let me play my level 36 paladin/assassain/wizard and I was so pissed at the beardy bastard I flipped the table and left.
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/18/10(Thu)23:41 No.8655832
    >>8655734
    But paladins are Good, and as long as they remain Lawful Good, they should still remain Paladins. Nothing in the Code of Conduct requires them to constantly be faithful to their God.

    However, I understand that it might not have been possible to Commune with the God in his setting, and I can also see the grey area that results from turning from your God and losing hope. The paladin's reasoning wasn't faulty, though: he abandoned a deity who he thought was averse to performing Good acts. Thus he should remain a Paladin, since he acted in the name of Good, however extreme.
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/18/10(Thu)23:42 No.8655853
    >>8655806
    >Paladin/assassin
    >flipped the table

    So not only are you an ass, but you're intrinsically breaking your Code of Conduct by playing as an assassin? I'm not talking about the 'evil' requirement, I'm talking about the underhanded, dishonorable tricks that an assassin has to use to fight (one of them being poison).
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)23:46 No.8655901
    >>8655832
    As was explained, I believe the guy mentioned that in the setting he was in Paladins required divine support, and it's not at all unreasonable that in turning away he was actively refusing the power offered by the deity.

    Normal practice would be to turn to an alternative deity at no extra cost, but mayhap that didn't occur to him. In any event he was now deity-less and his powers were dependent on divine support, so he lost them. Mechanically speaking, he fell.
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/18/10(Thu)23:47 No.8655912
    >>8655901
    Makes sense, then. No argument on my part. Thanks for explaining it to me.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)23:59 No.8656041
    I remember a little of this very cool sounding story someone posted.
    In it, they were a bard, a member of a traveling troop who was in a town to put on a show. It was the 250th anniversity of the defeat of some ancient evil by a legendary Paladin, and the troop was putting on a show of the Paladin's great deeds; the bard playing the heroic Paladin in the show.
    So his troop is practicing for the show, all dressed as bandits and pretend to attack the town. The bad news is that the other Players have just come into town to investigate some romours of a growing evil in the area. The PCs see a Flash of light and see a Mighty Paladin (really the bard dressed up) step forth and fight with the bandits single handedly in an uphill battle. The PC's join in the fight against the "bandits" and it is only afterwards that the bard realises that it wasn't just a show and that the other members in his troop are dead. The party makes a check and recognizes the "Paladin" (from the huge statue monument to him RIGHT BEHIND HIM) and believe that the Paladin has been Ressurrected to once again fight against the evil threatening the lands.
    Now the Bard is pissing his pants scared of what has just happened, so he uses his charisma and such to bluff that yes, he really is the Paladin returned and asks to join the party in their adventures.
    So the Bard has to keep up the charade of actually being a paladin and make sure the other party members don't find out the truth.
    It was a pretty cool story.
    >> Anonymous 03/18/10(Thu)23:59 No.8656042
    Paladins tied to aligments suck.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)00:01 No.8656072
    >>8653823
    MANLY TEARS
    >> Reiiama Kotsu, Inevitable 03/19/10(Fri)00:02 No.8656088
    >>8656042
    Edition trolling (obviously).
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)00:05 No.8656129
    >>8656072
    the quote is from Flight of Dragons
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)00:20 No.8656314
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    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)00:22 No.8656340
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    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)00:24 No.8656354
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    >>8656314
    this picture disagrees with yours
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)00:25 No.8656375
    >>8655505
    so um... was there a conclusion to this?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)00:35 No.8656502
    >>8656375
    I don't know but I'd sure like to.
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 03/19/10(Fri)00:36 No.8656516
    I was tending to a group of friends who wanted to play basically Chaotic stupid. The only reason I was with them was I was under orders to look after them since all they'd do is break out of jail again, hell maybe I could teach them some civility.

    So we come across this town while looking for some armor the warrior heard about, and the town is in dissaray, the peasents are being forced into service, and the town is run onder an iron rule. I convince the group that we must liberate these people. After attemtping to difuse it diplomatically, the party finnaly goes FUCK IT and stoms the keep, killing the Barron in the process. Little did we know, but there was a huge orc army approaching, and the Baron was trying to defend his city desperately. Instead of falling for the LAWL YOU FALL, I immediatly took up command of the city to fill in for the leadership vacuum.

    My party ditched me at the town, but I refused to leave and let people die because of my actions. I began oreding an evacuation of the town. The orcs were approaching and I wouldn't have enough time. So as a stalling endeavor, I went outside the city gates to buy the town some time, by myself. Seeing me stare down the whole orc army by myself, many of the soldiers were inspired and came out to fight along side me. I gave no speech, only my conviction was needed. We stood out the gate and fought off wave upon wave of Orcs. This whent on for a few days untill my wounds became too severe, but I pressed on. This only inspired more people, soon the entire town was up in arms against the orcs. After a veary heated battle I succumb to my wounds. With my spear planted firmly in the ground I Literally died standing. The orcs didn't dare attack again.

    NEVER use Charisma as a dump stat
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)00:36 No.8656532
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    >>8656314
    oh fuck I didnt know anyone saved that

    I thought it was a funny joke to ask a drawfag
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 03/19/10(Fri)00:37 No.8656542
    >>8656516

    >NEVER use Charisma as a dump stat

    Correct.

    WIS is the proper dump stat. In ALL situations.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)00:39 No.8656565
    >>8656375
    >>8656502
    why, yes there is.
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/8253679/
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)00:40 No.8656578
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    >this thread
    >NO SAMEO

    SAY WAT
    >> Franky 03/19/10(Fri)00:45 No.8656646
    >>8656542

    I see you've been swallowing your own philosophy then?
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 03/19/10(Fri)00:46 No.8656655
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    >>8656646

    You act as it it's a bad thing.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)00:46 No.8656659
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    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)00:48 No.8656681
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    >>8656542
    INT is more of a Paladin Dump Stat
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)00:49 No.8656699
    >>8656578
    Thanks for posting it! I linked to 1d4chan article, but I couldn't find the saved image.
    >> Franky 03/19/10(Fri)00:49 No.8656704
    >>8656655

    I usually prefer to use charisma as a dump stat, if only because I can't stand the thought of censoring my advice when I know it is sorely needed. IE Hey, instead of wasting thousands of gp why not use that racial/class (insert in-character plug) ability of yours and do the same thing?
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!TZikiEEr0tg 03/19/10(Fri)00:49 No.8656708
    >>8656681

    NO. YOU ARE INCORRECT.

    WIS AT ALL TIMES.
    >> Franky 03/19/10(Fri)00:51 No.8656735
    >>8656681

    sadly... Explains lawful stupid though :)
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)00:52 No.8656755
    >>8656708
    you should never make one of the 3 save stats a dump stat, anyways don't paladins need WIS for their spells in 3.5?
    >> God-Emperor of Mankind 03/19/10(Fri)00:54 No.8656790
    >>8656755
    all you need is con, cha, str, and int
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)01:06 No.8656966
    >>8654011

    >Hulk Paladin

    Holy shit, I remember writing that after reading the original thread that contained that story.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)01:10 No.8657032
    >>8655034

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7x0aE14YoAc

    "Some talk of Alexander, and some of Hercules
    Of Hector and Lysander, and such great names as these.
    But of all the world's great heroes, there's none that can compare.
    With a tow, row, row, row, row, row, to the British Grenadiers."
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)01:21 No.8657257
    >>8657032
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsW4FoRzhQw

    Good lord. Anyone would feel like a Paladin with a song like this as their teams theme. Next chance I get I think I'll roll a British Paladin.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)01:22 No.8657266
    >>8653795
    If anything, a good deity, hell even a neutral one with a good follower it gives powers to, would have to take the crisis of faith as a wakeup call. "oh shit, I DID allow some horribad shit that shouldn't be happen and I DID NOT give the one I had swear to me would fight against this shit the power he needs to do just that, when I've atop all this forbidden him from using the far easier ways of obtaining power."

    Because if the pally's deity isn't fucking listening? you can bet your ass one of many others, both evil AND good, ARE, and may be more than willing to step in and offer a new job...

    After all, its not like serving one gawd forces them to not believe in the existance of the others, and good help is so hard to find...
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)01:28 No.8657397
    Please tell me someone is archiving this very entertaining thread.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)01:29 No.8657416
    >>8656041

    >Bard posing as a Paladin

    By chance, did that tale happen to have a great deal of writefaggotry in the same thread, posing two possible endings?

    One, wherein the bard is struck down by the BBEG during the final battle and reveals that he's actually just an actor?

    "Tell me how it ends."
    "And they all lived happily ever after."
    "Should've seen that one coming. Terrible writing."

    The other, the bard desperately strikes at the BBEG to prevent him from killing one of the other adventurers and finds that the props he'd been carrying all the while, a flimsy sword and fake platemail, had been converted into the real things?

    "Yield, villain. I am the Knight of Burgundymoor."
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)01:31 No.8657445
    >>8657416
    LINK NEEDED
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)01:32 No.8657474
    >>8657416
    Yes! It was a shame it wasn't archived, it was really good. It even had two endings, the happy ending and the sad, but still good ending.

    Someone (the op I think) said they would run the character, but I never got a chance to hear what happened.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)01:37 No.8657560
    >>8657474
    >>8657416
    I was one of the people who wrote up the two ending, I could try to remember how they worked, if no one saved them.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)01:38 No.8657569
    are Paladins from 40K?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)01:47 No.8657699
    >>8657569

    2/10
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)01:48 No.8657707
    >>8657445
    >>8657474
    >>8657560

    A moment, gentlemen. I have it saved on one of my computers. The tricky matter is simply finding the right one.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)02:08 No.8657968
    >>8657707

    >Our tale starts in a thread about character concepts that individual fa/tg/uys have always wanted to play, with this:

    The stereotypical paladin archetype, combined with "Ancient hero from the past who swore to rise from the grave when his home country needed him the most," but is actually a bard that was dressed up for a play when the adventure started and got swept into the heroic world-saving shtick.

    I would have to get the DM to work with me on it, and I know it would never happen, simply because my DM sucks at the deception game. All it would require is a simple description of some oddly-colored armor and a Knowledge(History) check with a ridiculously low DC to get started.

    Character motivation for not coming clean would be "Oh god, oh god, they think I'm really Ancient Hero and they're bigger and stronger and scarier than I am and would probably tear me apart if I told them the truth and OH GOD, AN ORC, GOTTA LOOK HEROIC SO THEY DON'T GET SUSPICIOUS"
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)02:09 No.8657983
    >>8657968

    >It's followed by this gem, posted by the first person to be interested in the idea:

    I can see this starting out hilariously...

    "All right, gentlemen. The play's opening night is next week. That means we have a week to get people interested in it, so we're not just performing for an empty house. Now, you guys are going to dress up like thieves and pretend to mug Erria in the town square, who's going to be dressed up like an old lady. I'll throw down a quick illusion of a portal and a smokebomb and show up and stop you guys, dressed up as Ancient Hero. After the fake battle, I'll proclaim that I'll be back to save the country when it needs me most, fall down, and succumb to the wounds you guys put on me. Then we'll all get up, bow, and say that the real performance will be at the opera house. So! Let's do this thing."

    *Actors mug old-lady-actor, PCs show up and start killing the actors, bard pops out of portal and fails to recognize the fact that the PCs aren't part of the performance. Actors are killed, bard realizes, falters for a second, then uses his acting prowess to keep things from getting awkward.*

    "Ah... thank you, adventurers. Your help is greatly appreciated. What? This armor? Ah... I see you recognize me. Y-yes, I am Ancient Hero Name Here. You... you want me to help you thwart the BBEG's plan? And he is threatening to destroy the world? Ah... that is... ahem... yes, of course I will help you. What other choice do I have?"
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)02:10 No.8657995
    >>8656578
    >>8656578
    >>8656578
    >>8656578
    I've been waiting for this to get posted, thank you!
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)02:10 No.8657998
    >>8657983

    >The first half of the first ending is posted here:

    Can you imagine the Big Reveal?

    The PCs have kicked down the door of the BBEG's hideout, slaughtered their way through miles of monsters, had healing and conversations from and with the paladin, finally broken into the inner sanctum of the villain and had a battle that not only destroyed the BBEG's fortress, but erased entire chunks of the fabric of space and time, and the unthinkable happens.

    The paladin is dealt a mortal blow. He's out of magic, the wound is bleeding fast, and he's drifting in and out of consciousness as the battle rages on. No one else in the group has healing, because they figured the paladin had it covered. The heroes struggle to beat down the villain and finally succeed, then rush to the side of the fallen paladin, trying to pass a Heal check to save him.

    "G-gentlemen... no. Heroes. I have a- AH! I have a confession to make." Tears gathering in the paladin's eyes, struggling to come to terms with death. "I-I'm just an actor..."
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)02:11 No.8658019
    >>8657998

    >The second half is followed up by another poster:

    "No, no," they say, "you're not, you're a hero, a hero of legends!"

    The Bard coughs, blood coming up, he doesn't have much time left.

    "The-then one last thing... please... I-I must know how it ends... please... t-tell me how the play ends..."

    "And the all live happily ever after." says the Hero, craddling the broken bard.

    The bard laughs weakly, "Heh... terrible writing, I should seen it coming..." He manages a smile, as the light fades from his eyes and his eyelids close for the last time.

    The curtain falls, and the party applauds.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)02:12 No.8658030
    >>8658019

    >A second possible ending is proposed, the first half of which is as follows:

    Alternately, the finale approaches. The Bard has done well at keeping his appearance up, and has done his best to play the part of the Paladin.

    Now, this wasn't easy. He isn't a Paladin, and lacks the true abilities of one. He makes do tough, pretending to Smite evil on foes that are already weakened by just yelling out Smite evil while finishing them off, Making enough of a ruckus to make the party believe he is turning the dead, "detecting evil" by just flat out making good guesses about peoples alignments. He is an actor afterall, and this is just the greatest act he has put on.

    And so the finale chapter draws near. The party has fought their way through the dungeon, and now face off against the BBEG. Things are going poorly, and the party doesn't seem like it will be successful. The BBEG looms over a fallen ally, preparing to strike the finale blow.

    What can the Bard do? He's no Paladin, he can't help here, not really. When the chips go down, he's just an actor in a fake suit. But he is an actor, and he knows what he must do. The show must go on. He rushes behind the BBEG, sword raised hih, and shouts from the top of his lungs:

    SMITE EVIL!

    A flash of light, a howl of pain! The BBEG has been gravely wounded, but how? The Bard is no Paladin, how could this be?

    Through his actions, through his belief in keeping up the act of all that is good and true, the Bard transformed, became the Paladin he had pretended to be. He always was the ancient hero reincarnated, he had just never known, never believed.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)02:13 No.8658046
    >>8658030

    >The second half of this ending comes up:

    The strange armor he had worn all this time, not nearly as functional as an actual suit of platemail but still light enough for him to move around in, is replaced. Instead of being covered in the dust and muck that had accumulated over time, it gleamed with a divine light.

    The longsword, equally feeble as his armor but functioning as a rapier, shown true. Reflecting light that could not have a source in the villain's dark inner sanctum, and etched with the markings of Pelor, Heironyous, St. Cuthbert, and more that the actor could not identify, it stood as a lone beacon that fought against the ambient darkness of the room.

    The actor, the coward, the pretender, the fraud. They were no more. All that remained of the man that began this journey was the hope for a better future, the light of Good, and the strength to help the helpless.

    The Paladin placed a foot upon the chest of the man he struck down, and pointed his blade at his throat.

    "Yield, villain. I am the Knight of Burgundymoor."

    >As an interesting aside, for the first possible ending, someone had this to say:

    I can imagine the paladin bard falling in the end, and claiming he will return, when the country needs him most. Many years later, a play is planned on his deeds...
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)02:24 No.8658210
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    Paladins are just wannabe Clerics.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)02:27 No.8658245
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    >>8658046
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)02:28 No.8658263
    >>8658046
    That was awesome.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)02:30 No.8658299
    I was DMing the first adventure for my group, and they had a paladin. The adventure was that a town was being attacked repeatedly by the local fishmen(Locathah) and the party was supposed to help. Party goes to explore, paladin tries to go in with hands up, gets attacked. Fighting ensues, party kills fishmen, goes into cave where fishmen live, kill more. Eventually come across room of fishmen with a lizardman bossing them around. Lizardman gets killed, and party offers mercy to other fishmen. They stop attacking. Party finds pile of treasure, then finds fishman women and children. Paladin shakes his finger at them, then walks to the front of the cave and shoves his trident into the ground as a reminder. Then he convinced the party to give about half of the money they found to the town for no reason other than it was nice.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)02:39 No.8658434
    >>8658046

    Fukken saved!
    What is it about Paladins that make the best stories?
    I suppose most classes can have pretty good stories if done right, but Paladins just infuse a story with a sense of epicness.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)02:50 No.8658582
    >>8658434

    They don't always make the best stories, truth be told. But when the player is in the right frame of mind, the circumstances line up perfectly, and the stars align, the class lends itself to unleashing your inner hero.

    There's a voice in the back of everyone's head that occasionally, fearfully, speaks up. "I don't want to do this," it says. "I don't want to do this, but if I don't, no one will." It's the voice that inspires a nobody to take a stand against an unstoppable force. It's the voice that inspires a splash of cold adrenaline across your spine and makes you do phenomenally unsafe things. It's the voice that makes a man into a symbol.

    Everyone has a paladin in them. It's just a matter of finding the fight for it.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)03:13 No.8658879
    >>8658210
    no they are not
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)03:15 No.8658899
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    >>8658582

    well put anon
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)03:18 No.8658919
    The days grow shorter and the nights are getting long
    Feels like we're running out of time
    Every day it seems much harder tellin' right from wrong
    You got to read between the lines

    Don't get discouraged, don't be afraid, we can
    Make it through another day
    Make it worth the price we pay

    The good book says it's better to give than to receive
    I do my best to do my part
    Nothin' in my pockets I got nothin' up my sleeve
    I keep my magic in my heart

    Keep up your spirit, keep up your faith, baby
    I am counting on you
    You know what you've got to do

    Fight the good fight every moment
    Every minute every day
    Fight the good fight every moment
    It's your only way

    All your life you've been waiting for your chance
    Where you'll fit into the plan
    But you're the master of your own destiny
    So give and take the best that you can

    You think a little more money can buy your soul some rest
    You'd better think of something else instead
    You're so afraid of being honest with yourself
    You'd better take a look inside your head

    Nothing is easy, nothing good is free
    But I can tell you where to start
    Take a look inside your heart
    There's an answer in your heart

    Fight the good fight every moment
    Every minute every day
    Fight the good fight every moment
    Make it worth the price we pay

    Every moment of your lifetime
    Every minute every day
    Fight the good fight everybody
    Make it worth the price we pay
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)03:18 No.8658924
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    >>8658899

    I love that one. I also love this one, on the grounds that I imagine a paladin thrust into modern-day society would be horribly disoriented and massively confused.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)03:30 No.8659069
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    Lawful Evil blackguard here.

    Fuck your white knight.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)03:35 No.8659119
    >>8658924
    I love pissed off Captain America.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)03:36 No.8659135
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    >>8659069
    Neutral Evil was here, you're a faggot.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)03:39 No.8659170
    >>8659135
    You'd kill a shop keeper for his last coin, rather than let him live and tax him for more than his worth.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)03:43 No.8659214
    >>8659170
    ITT, Lawful Evil attempts to convert NE. Hilarity and badtimes for shopkeeps ensue.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)03:51 No.8659291
    >>8659214
    Sounds like a sitcom. Or a buddy movie.
    HE's a no-nonsense to the point NE!
    HE's a Sneaky Conniving LE!
    Together!
    They commit crime!
    >> Guardsman Terry 03/19/10(Fri)03:51 No.8659292
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    Nobody has posted Mr. Rage's famous post yet?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)03:57 No.8659358
    >>8652839
    >fucking Paladin stories

    We still have yet to see any of these...
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)04:00 No.8659386
    >>8659358
    Wasn't there one where a paladin had a sentient spear named Helen who fell in love with him?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)04:42 No.8659832
    >>8659291
    I've often imagined a sitcom surrounding the alignments, or maybe a real world thing. True neutral would always be at the house, sitting on the couch, eating the same back of chips, watching a news report of the other characters' hideous weekly fuckups . . . slowly shaking his head in disapproval.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)04:56 No.8659941
    >>8659832
    FUND IT!
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)05:01 No.8659975
    >>8658046
    Man. I want to play this Bard.

    Normally Paladin threads make me want to play a Paladin, Rarely do they make me want to play a bard.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)05:05 No.8659997
    >>8655505
    >>8656565
    God fucking... Really!? Why can't I ever be around for this shit?
    >> DM/PLAYER Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)05:54 No.8660380
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    Hey /tg/ ...

    IMHO good DMs are also best players.

    True or false?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)06:28 No.8660670
    >>8652839

    It was Cormyr some years after things went to shit, and they were letting acolytes out into the field far too goddamn young. One of them was Florian. All of 14 years old, head full of doctrine, too cute for his own good, holy longbow in his hands.

    Florian was my take on the "assassin paladin". Local houserules bringing ranged fighters close to melee types helped, here. What I mean by assassin paladin here is a holy warrior who'll waste the head evil guy and not cleave his way through all the minions.

    There was a bunch of backplot. (There was a bunch of backplot to _all_ the characters, and it was glorious) Florian's major malfunction was that he was Azoun IV's bastard. He didn't find out until late in the campaign.

    Anyways, the brave knights (and their overworked friendly wizard) thundered around Cormyr and surroundings. Doing good deeds, befriending good people, killing bad people. Sometimes killing good people and befriending bad people, and in one case becoming the bad people.

    Good times.

    Eventually it was down to killing the Big Bads, and upgunned balor and a bigass dracolich, with the Heir's coronation as bait. At that point Florian was shit scared, because if the Heir died the law said the crown had to pass to someone of royal blood and there was a good chance he'd be the sucker.

    Anyways, hilarity ensues. Massive magics. The Balor gets to be primary target by the rules of engagement we've worked out.

    As part of prep Florian's cast this spell that gives some nice bonuses and will make you vanish in a flash if you die, healing friends and smacking ememies. A bit like the Balor's spoilsport boom.

    To do a number on someone, Florian had to be inside 60 feet. You see where I'm going with this.

    After forty-odd sessions, in the very last session, in the last fight except the mopup operation, Florian dies ("does a 1 save?") and is taken bodily into heaven.

    Shit was so cash.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)06:31 No.8660689
    >>8659358
    Male Paladin + female Solar Angel.
    Everyone wins.

    Except Evil
    >> Okie 03/19/10(Fri)07:27 No.8661148
    >>8658046
    >>8658030
    FUCKING YES! AWESOME!
    >>8658019
    >>8657998
    FUCKING MANLY TEARS! AWESOME!
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)07:36 No.8661193
    >>8656578

    God damn, I was going to post this til I read on...

    I salute this man.
    >> /tg/s token lesbian 03/19/10(Fri)08:19 No.8661453
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    Ok, I'm a paladin of a home-brew god of honour and truth. One of the hallmarks of his worshippers is we must be true to our self and our word. We are forbidden from breaking an oath no matter what and so many followers are somewhat careful of what they promise.
    So we are hunting down the BBEG without knowing who it is. Only knowing where they are by the movement of their soldiers.
    We break into a massive fortress and although the main chambers were empty we found a prisoner, a rather well groomed and healthy young woman who claimed she was being looked after for some kinda ritual.
    On the way out, we are ambushed by the four head guards for the BBEG who seem to make a beeline straight for the captive. We manage to fight them off and kill them.
    The woman is left shell-shocked by the event and then and there, I turned to her and made a vow I would never let anything to harm to her ever again.
    (The players all groan at this despite it being in character.)
    We manage to make our escape.

    The trail went cold after that. We assumed that the BBEG got scared by how close we came and had made good on their escape.
    After time we broke up as an adventuring team and we, for a time, had different, unrelated adventures as a kind of 'where are they now'.

    Years later, Paladin and Ex-captive have fallen in love and settled down together. They have a young daughter and all is going perfectly.
    >> /tg/s token lesbian 03/19/10(Fri)08:22 No.8661463
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    >>8661453
    By 'accident' all the original team are in town together when it is attacked by an army wearing the insignias of the BBEG we never found and so we grab our things ready to defend the town (in my case, defend my family) when the lead of the army manages to break through the battle lines and get to my wife before I could catch up but all it does is kneel before her and my daughter.

    And right about now it sparks in Sir Paladin's head why they never found the BBEG.

    Slowly walking towards where his wife is she looked towards him.
    "So this is who I am, my dear"
    "And young Samantha?" who's little toddler face peeked out between folds in her mother dress towards her father.
    "Let the two of us go and no one will die tonight, I'll leave this city and all my... friends... in peace. You won't see us again."

    At this point the fighting had actually stopped and already the baddies had started to retreat from the city.

    "I will find you again, despite everything."
    "Oh!" she smiled
    "You wouldn't be much of a husband if you didn't.”

    As she walked away I kissed my daughter farewell before she ran after her mother.
    As she said, the only casualties had been a few major injuries that the two clerics took care of. The evil army itself had been shadows restrained into armour which means there is probably some big evil wizard hiding somewhere.
    Searching our house after the attack reviled a collection of magic artefacts including a now shattered mirror that would allow communication with any other connected mirror.

    And now we are back to tracking her down again.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)11:06 No.8662796
    >>8652839
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)11:42 No.8663185
         File1269013338.jpg-(22 KB, 499x320, happycanemptyinside.jpg)
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    >>8661453
    >>8661463
    That will not end well, broseph.

    Unless it ends corny. Epically corny.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)11:53 No.8663294
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    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)13:37 No.8664414
    I am playing my Paladin tonight, and I so freaking excited! This thread makes me filled with shiny happy light!
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)13:44 No.8664523
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    >>8661148
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)14:05 No.8664805
    >>8655506
    >>8653707
    >>8653526

    there was one more guy. I really need it. If I remember... he was wielding two swords... please someone post it
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)15:11 No.8665658
    >>8659292
    does this mean a paladin can go around being as much of a jerk as he can?

    I have a problem in a group I DM with a paladin and his player, gray guard actually. He constantly breaks the rules and assumes fine and dandy. Please listen to my tale and tell me your opinion.

    So the party is going with their wise npc sage guy, who thinks the source of some evil is to the north. Well the Paladin always mocks the old man (who is N) and so the wizard leaves. They continue in that direction anyway, because they figure they should probably figure out this evil anyway.

    They arrive at a town that has become barren because the land around it has died. The wizard is there and he has hired some mercs to go to the local ancient tower, because some evil stuff is coming out of it. He thinks its the source of the problems back home.

    Well these characters are replacements for some of my party members, who had died and were being taken back to a place where they can be revived without level loss, according to the campaign setting. Problem is, these guys are Evil-aligned, but conceal it from the paladin
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)15:14 No.8665708
    >>8665658
    so now we have an evil elf sorceress and an evil half-orc barbarian who are planning on cooperating with the paladin just to take out this tower and see what kind of stuff they can get for their own plans. Well something happens, where the sorceress tries to hide some information from the rest of the party that she discovers,and the paladin calls the half-orc a "half breed" in venomous taste and tells the sorceress to "go back to the whore house you came from." This sends the barbarian into a rage which kills our lower-level cleric of Pelor, who decided to be an idiot and join in on the racist mud-slinging.

    So Paladin falls
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)15:16 No.8665755
    >>8665708
    paladin falls because he willingly put his comrade in danger by being hateful towards people that didn't do anything malicious.

    So anyway, the party splits between the good/neutral people and the evil/neutral people, and eventually the evil group members get killed or captured. The paladin returns to town expecting a quick atonement, because he's a Gray guard. The local cleric says "no, I can't give someone that hostile atonement because you will just abuse your powers again. Prove you can be good"
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)15:19 No.8665815
    >>8665755
    So we return to the tower, and things seem to be going well. they fight this mummy monk that is easily beating the tar out of them, and he runs up to the guy to grapple him, knowing full well the mummy has a helm of teleportation and can take him to very bad places.

    Well thanks to his subduing the mummy, the party defeats it and they have a new helmet. Anyway they move down and get swarmed by enemies they can't defeat. the paladin gives our dwarf the helmet of teleportation so that he can get the others to safety while the paladins stays behind.

    well accidentally they left the druid's raptor animal companion behind, and the paladin and the dinosaur have to jump into a razor-lined pit trap that leads outside of the tower, taking tons of damage, but both surviving the fall.

    That' swhen the vampire lord shows up
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)15:22 No.8665861
    >>8665815
    The vampire Lord appears before the paladin and goes "well well, that was pretty clever!" but the paladin tricks him with a bluff check and he and the raptor hold him down while the paladin stuffs him in a bag of holding.
    They return to the town, where the town cleric tells him to destroy the bag so that the vampire lord should never harm the town again.

    He only did so with prodding OOC, because I was tailoring things here for him to easily go back. otherwise he would have tried exposing the vampire to sunlight, just to get the treasure that was on him. (it wouldn't have worked. He had a resistance to sunlight feat.)
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)15:33 No.8666041
    >>8654690
    Dayum. Manly tears.

    >>8654552
    >>8654461
    He did his duty, for Queen and Country.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)15:35 No.8666072
    >>8652839
    AHAHAHAHAHA...hold on... let me regain my posture.
    You're joking, right?
    Paladins' faith is as easily breakable as a plastic versus a hammer, it's only a question of mind...

    Sorry OP, it's not working anymore, embrace a new "God" perhaps?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)15:58 No.8666464
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    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)16:16 No.8666748
    I know we're getting a lot of 'Lawful Stupid' jokes in here (seriously guys, if you're going to roll at least put some *effort* into it), but stupid characters really do have more fun. Somebody with a nice big negative int modifier can get into crazy situations without breaking character a lot easier than somebody who is supposed to be a genius.

    If you've got a player / GM group who are cool with it, make Int your dump stat and have some fun with it. :-)
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)16:55 No.8667442
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    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)17:02 No.8667544
    So its 2ed and Im playing my paladin of Tyr. We´d spent most of the campaign in the Underdark and I was level 9 by the time I came out of there. I had refused to get a mount in the Underdark cause like hell would I ride a spider (In game I had sworn an oath against Lolth and out of game Im terrible arachniphobic). DM consulted the paladin splat book and saw that I could select the mount Id get cause I wasnt level 10 yet, but he let me roll for it on a chart he made up. I rolled a d10...10. I rolled again for a seccond chart (2e and its charts)... 10.

    While we had been in the Underdark a round with the Deck of Many Things had given our gnome a 5th level Halfling Fighter minion, who promptly died, twice. My paladin took it as his responsibility as the only sane man in the party to look after this poor young mans remains. I took him into the woods and, not knowing the burial rights for a halfling, prayed to my god for guidance.

    I was shown a river and a cave near it. I took the body there and prayed through the night that he would find justice and peace in the after life that had been denied him on the mortal coil.

    DM takes the player who had picked up the minion and joined our game out into the hall to talk.

    The next day out jumps a sentient smilodon. Think Battle Cat from He-Man. Giant fucking sabertoothed tiger with the mind of a LG Halfling being ridden by a paladin with an 18/96 strength. We wrecked shit.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)17:03 No.8667586
    Know whats really, really fun? Playing a Paladin in a setting that doesn't use an alignment system and instead relies of Moral Relativism. If you can do it right, your awesome.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)17:12 No.8667765
    >>8667544
    So, having had this guy rezed TWICE, and now being personally responsible for his safety, Edain (my paladin) sets out to get Stan the Smilodon propper armoring. No one in the little town we´re in can produce it with our limited supplies, everything else being used to prep for the upcoming war against the BBEG. But then I catch wind of a Frost Giant thats been sighted a few days out.

    All my other party members are away doing downtime things, so I head out to face it in honorable combat.

    I see the giant over the hill and take stock of my equipment, which includes a +2 silver lance our Dwarven battle cleric/King made me. I look up lances, 3d6 against large or bigger targets- double damage on the back of charging mount. I sadle up, call out my enemy, and charge.

    20.

    The damn thing nearly drops in one shot.

    Being an idiot, I send Stan away, not wanting to risk his life a 3rd time til I have him properly protected. The DM rules that the uber hit all but destroyed the silver lance so I go toe to toe with just my sword and shield. My luck turns and I get crit twice. Just as I go down I see Stan leap into the fray. He kills the giant and when I wake up and bandage myself (including my missing eye) we drag his armor back to the town and have it forged into smilodon barding. We used his helm and the remains of the lance to make a gift for our Dwarf friend.

    I dont know which character I loved more, the Edain paladin or Stan Thornfoot the ¨mount¨.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)17:19 No.8667937
    >>8667586
    3/10, troll smarter not harder
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)17:28 No.8668086
         File1269034080.jpg-(135 KB, 600x886, green-lantern1.jpg)
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    Paladin among Paladins.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)17:30 No.8668119
    >>8667544
    >>8667765
    FUCKING YES
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)17:37 No.8668266
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    >>8668086
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)17:44 No.8668391
    Playing a paladin of Bahamut in 4ed. My brother is the high priest in our church that just so happens to run the country we´re in. So the first few sessions sets it up that theres an army marching our way from one of neighbooring countries, a highly militaristic dictatorship. They want to pass through our lands to go assault another country (more of a city-state) with whom we have a very shaky truce.

    Knowing that this city-state has almost no standing army save the slaves it forces into the fields I begin organizing our forces to stop the advancing troops with some help from the elven forest nearby when my brother sends word that we are going to let them pass through.

    I plead with my brother, who is clearly corrupt at this point, but he seems to view this as a boon for us, let the heretics kill eachother. Who cares if the only ones who will really die are the slaves from both sides, we win in the end, right?

    So as the the army prepares to pass through our lands, I take the handful (100 at the most) soldiers loyal to me and the elves we could rally to prepare an assault on the enemy flank while elf scouts send word to the city-state of the impending doom and our rouge uses his underground contacts to smuggle the downtrodden out while the elite flee.

    We barely manage to hold off the enemy and would have lost had not our wizard been able to undo the chaos-magic effect that had turned our one Dragonborn members mate into a cat. Said mate was a gold dragon.

    So riding this dragon I rally another 100-200 men from our army to my side, calling out for justice and honour.

    We drive the enemy back only for my brother to storm out of the cathedral, furious at my ¨treason¨. He strips me of my royal seal and excomunicates/banishes me.

    Smiling, I lead my party and our small force (now once again less than a hundred after my brothers tirade) out into the world, a roaming force for Good.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)17:46 No.8668433
         File1269035186.jpg-(51 KB, 400x312, gaby_libertyprime3.jpg)
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    >>8668266
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)17:48 No.8668479
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    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)18:37 No.8669274
         File1269038267.jpg-(263 KB, 600x718, 1265024518134.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)18:50 No.8669501
         File1269039048.jpg-(92 KB, 750x600, Paladins.jpg)
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    >>8656681
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)19:37 No.8670361
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    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)19:42 No.8670465
    >>8659135

    The iconic blackguard, whose picture you posted, is Lawful Evil. You fail. Heavily.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)20:09 No.8670919
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    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)20:16 No.8671054
    >>8655506
    >>8653707
    >>8653526
    what is the source of these 3
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)20:17 No.8671072
    >>8670465
    Cite.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)20:19 No.8671112
    >>8653349
    I remember that story. It was awesome.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)20:20 No.8671127
    I love playing a lawful stupid paladin.

    "FREE WILL SPAWNS EVIL, THEREFORE FREE WILL MUST DIE."
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)20:25 No.8671225
    >>8669274
    shouldn't that be the other way around?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)20:25 No.8671227
    >>8671127
    it's true though. let every retard have an opinion and be able to voice it, and sooner or later, everybody's questioning everything, and the lines of good and evil, right and wrong, are blurred beyond distinction.

    a charismatic evil person could easily sway people to his way of thinking (or close enough), no matter how "good" they are. why? because most people are brainless easily manipulated antropomorphic cattle. true story.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)20:29 No.8671296
    >>8671127

    That's dumb, and you should feel dumb for trolling with it. Communist Paladin works better.

    "I don't get it. What's so difficult about the concept of Not Fucking Everyone Else Over? I'm not asking for a lot. I'm just asking for a little cooperation, a little consideration for everything you're doing, and maybe going out of your way to help someone else every once in a while. Ask any wizard that isn't so far up his own ass that they can admire the shine of the backs of their own teeth. They'll tell you that the net gain for everyone working together is greater than any amount of net gain you could possibly achieve if everyone ends up going cutthroat on each other."
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)20:38 No.8671410
    >>8671225
    the Joke is that the Paladin is the mount
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)20:46 No.8671520
    This was a while back; the campaign was a follow up to another campaign the group ran. I was the only one that stayed with the original character, a dwarf who worshipped a god of family and pacifism. He had a rough childhood, basically escaped the dm’s fantasy equivalent of Nazi Germany where in humans were killing all non-humans. Barely escaped from the north and made his way down to the south. Where he meet the party, we fought off the invading army and politically sabotaged the dictator.
    This all happened 100 years ago, when the game started he was a old grumpy dwarf that took care of his elderly wife (a cleric of the same god he worshiped) and managed a small temple. Word got out that Zappado’s army was coming to full strength and threatening an other genocide. So he got on his horse and went to save some people. Take in mind he was old, brittle, and had to take a day to get the rust out of his armor.
    His wife doesn’t like the idea of him going. So she contacts a Archon of the god they worship and tells it that he is abandoning his family to go to war. The Archon fly’s down to him while he is going to meet with the new adventures and orders him to stop. “You need to take care of your family; Elheniou demands that you put your weapons away. This fight is not for our men and woman.” He looked the Archon in the eye’s smiled, said a prayer and kept on trotting away on his horse. At this point in time the Archon stripped him of his powers and he just kept on walking after falling off the vanishing horse. I played him as a Lawful Good fallen paladin for half of the game.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)21:02 No.8671750
    >>8671520
    Archons don't have that kind of power, i think your DM didn't want you to play either a paladin or an old character
    >> Anonymous 03/19/10(Fri)22:20 No.8672970
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    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)02:24 No.8676210
    MOAR
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)02:40 No.8676358
         File1269067236.jpg-(58 KB, 600x750, PALDRONS.jpg)
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    >>8652839
    FTFY
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)02:47 No.8676427
    >>8676358
    >PALDRONS
    You are a failure.
    >> Anonymous 03/20/10(Sat)03:01 No.8676602
    >>8676358

    It's pauldrons dear.



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