>>8905173
A quick recap: The players are pawns to an eldritch evil who is more or less the grim reaper. They're in the underdark. They've come to a human city, defended it from THOOON, and then got kicked out by the asshole despot. They're on their way back to their base of evil evilness, when...

Fuck yeah!

I'm still listening OP.

BI PEDIAL LION FISH

>>8905192
They find an old man, in the middle of a long tunnel. Now, warning bells go off: what the HELL is an old man doing in the middle of a tunnel in the Underdark!? It may be a well lit one, but damn if it isn't strange.

He falls over.

Jeffrey, the halfling rogue, runs up to him. "Hey, hey, are you hurt?"

The old man looks up, smiles, and says in a gruff voice, "Nah, I'm okay, just help me up." He does. "Thank ya sonny. What're yall doin' down in these parts? It's dangerous?"

Jerry Garcia, with his pet velociraptor skeleton, give him a quizzical look. "Old man, what are YOU doing down here?"

"Oh, fightin' demons."

Jeffrey kinda looks at him funny, and says, "Uh huh. How do you fight demons?"

He falls over. "Hey, could ya help me up again?"

They do.

Jerry continues the interrogaion. "Wait, wait. You fight demons? Do you have magic powers or something?"

He replies, "Nah, no magic. Just this," and pulls out a blade from his coat. "Pretty nice, kills demons real good." He puts it away, and nobody seems to know where it went.

Jeffrey eyes him suspiciously. "Uhh huh... so where are you headed, old man?"

"Oh, nowhere in particular. Just to fight demons."

The party nods, in agreement that this guy is completely senile.

He falls over.

"Hey, could ya help me up? And take me to some kinda civilization?"

Fleur is the only one who agrees, and offers to carry him. He smiles and hops on her back, and does a sly cop-a-feel (He's a pervert, too). She ignores it and carries on.

I wish to be the old man. ;_;

>>8905276
LIONFISH ON BIKES!

>>8905320
Fleur brushes his hand off her ass. "So, what's your name, anyways?"

"Ah, just call me Ganig. Hey, you guys got any food?"

Githillan pulls out some trail rations, and hand them to him. "Let us eat together! I too, hate demons!" Ganig is overjoyed, and munches down the rations quickly. "This boy knows what he's talkin' about, yall should listen to him."

They roll their eyes, and continue on back to the Veil King's fortress. Jeffrey and Jerry whisper to each other about whether or not they should take him along; he might think the Veil King's a demon, after all.

After their journey is over (during which they note that Ganig seems to be eating almost constantly), they arrive back at their start. There is now a moat, rudimentary walls, and some flooring, where before there was just bare stone in a cavern. As they approach, a magical bridge extends over the moat.

When they enter the keep, the Veil King manifests before them, his visage as daunting as ever. "WHY are you helping this HUMAN town with their problems?" he bellows.

The party looks at themselves, confused. Jeffrey quips, "Uhh, what else are we supposed to be doing?"

"Helping restore my power, of course! Find the artifacts binding me!"

"Well, we don't know where else to look. You gave us directions to that city!"

The Veil King disappears, and all they hear is a sigh, and a comment of, "Oh, and the old man can stay."

Why can't they write it out before they start posting?

>>8905448
Everyone glances at Ganig. "Nope, not a demon." They breathe a sigh of releif; he may be senile, but he does have a very shiny sword.

After spending a couple days plotting out the base and attracting undead (Jerry plays his Gibson SG of the Damned to channel more negative energy), they decide to head back out to the human city.

On the way, Ganig eats more food.

Upon reaching the human city again, they're shocked to see the walls already repaired, and guard patrols resumed. They're greeted and rushed over to Jameson, the captain of the guard's, tower.

They head on in. Jameson and Sven are, once again, having an argument. Jameson looks over to see our party enter, and his face lights up. "I'm so glad to see you again! Look, there's no time to waste, you've got to move out right away!"

Jerry pipes up, "Wait, we're allowed back here, what about our payment from last time?"

"What? No, listen, that's not important now. We've found a back way into the Thoon base. They'll be recovering from their last assault on our city, and this is the perfect time to take them down."

Sven comes in with his part: "There is a lake of fairly fresh water flowing down from the surface that is where this city gets most of its water. Underneath that lake, through a murky tunnel, leads to the northern oustkirts of the thoon base, where the Thoon Madcrafters live. Those are the things that can produce their constructs. Now, I can't do this myself. Are you willing to prove yourselves to this city?"

>>8905470

Because then it wouldn't be a writethread. You'd have no anticipation for the next part and it would all be over too quickly. Suck it up and warm up your f5 key.

>>8905470
I've been busy all day today with RL stuff, but I promised to continue last night's thread. I'm here now; I literally had no chance to write it out.

>>8905576
They look at each other. Jeffrey says, "Is the pay good?" Jameson sighs a little, and goes, "Yes. If you can save us, you will be more than amply rewarded."

Ganig yells, "Is Thoon a Demon?"
Githillan puts a hand on his shoulder, "I think so."
"Alright, good. I'm not gonna go along with no killin-non-demons-plan."
"Yess, we'll get you your demons. " He walks out of the room.

Sven ignores them, and replies, "Alright. We'll leave as soon as you're ready. I have scrolls of waterbreathing to get us in and out; everything else is on our skills."

After discussing it for a bit, they go, "Alright, we're ready now! Let's go!"

They leave out of the north side of the city, and head to the somewhat-freshwater lake. "You won't be able to see much, and even though you can breathe water, it won't taste too good. We won't be using light sources, as we want this to be as covert as possible. Everyone ready?"

A silent nod is shared amongst them all. They hop into the water. It is nastier than expected. Fleur, being a Warlock, disappears as she gets halfway into the water.

The water is nasty, but Jerry notes that SOMETHING can live in it, or so he felt brush against him a couple times.

>>8905685
After walking underwater for what seems like an hour, they arrive at the other part of the underground lake. They pull themselves out, slowly. Just as expected, there are three madcrafters there, standing at the edge of the lake, staring mindlessly.

Now, if you don't know what a madcrafter looks like, lemmie explain (or open up MMV). Basically imagine Jabba the Hutt with your grandpa's face, give it more arms, a tube mouth leaking bile and acid, and a whole bunch of tubes and canisters sticking out the top of it. They're nasty as fuck, and at least a couple of them (Sven included) have to stop themselves from making too much noise in disgust.

They begin creeping forward. One madcrafter turns its disgusting head towards them, but doesn't see them. It barely seems alive at all. Jeffrey readies his crossbow, thinks "goddamn these things are UGLY" and lets one fly. And then quick reloads and lets two more fly.

The madcrafter gets three bolts stuck right in its awful cranium, and lets out a garbled roar. The other two begin crawling south, back to the Thoon base.

At this point, stealth is gone, and the party engages. Jerry lets his (surprisingly quick) undead army shamble forward; Sven lets every explosive spell you've ever seen fly towards them; Ganig yells loudly and runs; Jeffrey keeps the well-aimed bolts coming; and Githillan starts speaking in tongues, calling strange and terrible creatures to fight for him. There is an army up against them, and the already weakened madcrafters know it.

Keeping this bumped in the name of Tieflings!

>>8905801
It doesn't take long to obliterate the first one. Its tanks shattered much like its skull, it falls over and stops breathing.

The other two, in a strange act of desperation, begin convulsing, and begin to projectile vomit freshly-born constructs at their assaulters. All these are capable of doing is slowing the advance, and the madcrafters themselves are starting to slump more than usual. They day looks like it will be won by the forces of the town!

Each madcrafter then spits out, covered in bile, one more bug-like construct. They bowl over and destroy some of Jerry's undead - but no matter, they explode when destroyed. Into negative energy. The surviving undead are re-energized, and the constructs can't take the blasts. The madcrafter's last stand is doomed.

However, soon after, more of the Thoon base appears to help - eight or ten Shadow Flayers, barely visible, flitting in and out of the darkness, come jumping towards them.

Ganig yells out a mighty roar. "DEMOOOOOONS!" and covers the entire area around him (including over half the shadow flayers) in ice. Shocked that Ganig isn't completely useless, none of them were ones to look a gift horse in the mouth, and kept fighting. Soon after, there were none left to oppose them.

After having destroyed the Thoon mind flayers' production and some of their best agents, they all paused for a moment (and wiped off the blood and body parts). They listen. Nothing, silence.

Sven breaks the mood, and goes, "Well, uh, looks like we won, huh?"

Jeffrey is appalled at Ganig's show of force. "Old man, how did you DO that?"

He goes, "Oh, yeah, got demon flesh on half my body. I'm cursed." He whips open his robe, and (besides wearing nothing else under it), he does half half-decayed, red leathery skin all over his torso and legs. Jeffrey replies (for several reasons) "Gross, put that away".

>>8905173
What's the origin of that picture? Not the motivator mind you, the picture.

archive

>>8906134
Well obviously but we need to wait for this to finish first.

>>8905983
They wander into the main portion of the Illithid base. What they notice mainly, is blood, of various colors, everywhere. Body parts, bones, and pieces of armor, and various other things strewn about. It looked more like the site of a genocide than a base. There were several giant canisters standing around, out to as far as they could see (which isn't far). Some fine, some half-broken, with their contents spilled everywhere. What was inside it was a glowing blue viscous glop. Sven goes up to it, examines it, and goes, "Dear God, what IS this stuff? It's almost... alive." Githillan wanders around, scrapes some off the ground, and eats it. He shudders for a second, and goes, "Yup, quintessence. It's people."

Everyone stops and stares at him.

"Oh, you know, Thoon wants it. Makes it from people. You can use it to make stuff. Pretty neat."

Ganig wanders over, and has a lick himself. "Tastes blue."

Over near one of the far canisters, stands an Ogre zombie. One not created by Jerry, which means bad news bears. It hasn't attacked, but neither has the party gotten too close to it, either.

Jerry thinks, "Hey, more minions!" and Rebukes it. He gains control of it. He tells it, "continue what you were doing."

They chat amongst themselves for a bit, as to what they think happened here, and what to do with the quintessence. Coming from the east, they hear quickened footsteps.

What steps into view are 6 drow; 4 males and 2 females, all dressed in rather expensive combat gear.

The one in the front (with the least clothes and most spiders etched into her armor), points an exquisite blade at the party. "Stop, now! Who are you, what are you doing here, and why have you taken over my zombie?"

>>8906149
Archive doesn't work that way.

Cool new post roughly every 10 minutes, I can live with that.

>>8906023
No idea. I'm pretty sure I got it from a motivator thread here.

>>8906172
Fleur turns invisible (and is not noticed). Jerry steps up to plate. He says, "Your zombie? I just found a random undead here in this destroyed base. It had no tags, no proof of ownership, so I took it for my own. You can have it back, if you like."

She glares, and tries to exert her control back over the zombie. Her kung-fu is weak, and is unable to. "Alright, all of you, gather up, and identify yourselves. This area is claimed by the drow house of Tezz'net, and you are in violation of our laws. Now, who are you, and why are you here?"

Jerry responds, "Please, please, there's no need to get upset. We were just passing through, on our way back to our settlement. If we had known this was Drow land, we would have attempted to go around."

She eyes him cautiously. Githillan starts muttering at the rocks and wanders off. The head drow motions one of the males to go get him. At this, he runs. He gets tackled.

She points her blade back at the party. "Now, if anyone ELSE wants to try anything, we can test these blades on your throats."

Jeffrey pipes up. "Where are you headed, madam Drow?"

She points the blade at him. "Not that it's any of your business, but checking out this camp that was destroyed recently."

"Destoryed by whom?"

"I'm asking the questions here. Get out of here now, and we won't have to torture you."

They agree to the terms... more or less. They wait around to see where the Drow are going. All of them except Jeffrey and Fleur start gathering up the quintessence jars and flasks, and wait for the other two to get back. Those two follow the drow at a safe distance, being the stealthy ones.

>>8906177
Well excuse me for being an ignorant fuckwit :<

>>8906304
I type slow. Happens.

>>8906349
The Drow head to the center of what was the Thoon base, and there is an opening in the floor. It leads to a staircase, which goes down for a couple hundred feet. Neither Jeffrey nor Fleur can see the bottom, when suddenly, WHAM, there is a loud SPLAT and a flash of light. Scared for their lives, they hurry back up and tell everyone.

"HEY THERE WAS A FLASH AND A BOOM."
Everyone kinda stares after Jeffrey's comment. They decide to all go back down together. What they find is a large pool of blood, with more body parts. The blood is fairly fresh.

Standing across the room, holding a glowing ball, is a Liche. It laughs heartily upon seeing the party, and says, "Congratulations."

They ready their weapons, and Fleur yells, "Who are you? Did you kill those Drow?"

He replies, "I am an avatar of the Veil King. And Yes. I did."

The party relaxes, but only a bit. Hands stay on the weapons for the moment. "Well, why did you kill them all?"

"They were fools. They thought, after seeing you, that they should come down here and gather as much as they could before leaving. Those Thoon creatures had brought back the artifact sealing me from their own plane, but they only wished to feed off my power. These Drow were greedier. And thus, I killed them."

>>8906576
The party doesn't relax. Fleur keeps up the conversation. "So... who killed the rest of the Mind Flayers?"

"They destroyed themselves. I poisoned their minds, and they turned upon one another. It was all part of the plan."

"So, what should we do now?"

"I have gathered sufficient power to manifest myself now, but the task is not complete. Return to the human city, and then return to my keep in 3 days. I will tell you more, then."

She thens says, "Alright, but what about Sven and Ganig? They know about you now, too."

He laughs again. "Look at them. Do they look as if they can even see or hear us?"

They look at those two. They're wandering around, muttering things like, "such destruction" and "who could have done this?"

Jerry goes over to Sven and Ganig, and say, "Hey, there's no use waiting around here. Let's get out of here."

"Right, right. Let's go," Sven mutters.

>>8906598
It's another hour or so back through the murky water to get to the city. Yuck. They smell even worse getting out than when they got in.

As soon as they get back to the city, Sven leads them back to Jameson's tower. They go in, and Jameson stands up excitedly. "You did it? Did you really do it? You've only been gone for 4 hours!" They all smile and nod, some moreso than others.

Jameson is beyond delighted. "You've eliminated the greatest threat this city has ever faced. I have your rewards." Sven makes a quick exit, which nobody says too much about because they're about to get STUFF!

"For your bravery in protection of this city, on multiple accounts, you are all hereby knighted. You have free access to our armory, and may come and go as you please. All we request is that you train our troops from time to time, to become as skilled as you."

They nod in approval.

"As well, we would like to offer you this payment for your deeds," and hands them a rather large sack filled with gold coins. Jeffrey immediately starts counting.

"And, finally, we would like to offer you residency in our town. One of the best-built houses in our fair city just lost its last owner, and she had no heirs. Instead of seeing it sit empty, we would love for you to have it. We can transfer you the deed in a few days, but until then, please enjoy some rest."

The party, triumphant and overjoyed, heads to their new home. And they notice that the townspeople are just a little friendlier towards them, and that the miners have gone back to work.

>>8906748
AND THEN SVEN STABS EVERYONE IN THE NIGHT!

>>8906748
They get to their new house, and find, for one, it's actually built of wood. This is pretty amazing, being in the underdark. Fleur whistles, and comments that it must have been almost prohibitively expensive to build down here. They walk in, and are greeted by an old man, with pale skin, in a fine suit, wearing white gloves. He bows, and says, "I am Reginald. Please, do come in. I will attend to you, the new owners of this fine home."

Jerry goes "All right, a butler! Sweet!"

They all kick off their shoes, and go relax. Ganig goes straight to bed. Fleur inquires about a bath, and finding there is one, makes use of it. Jerry and Githillan discover that there is a small library of magical texts, and spend some time reading. And, oh Jeffrey, Jeffrey wanders around, exploring the new house.

He finds, around a back corridor, a hallway that leads down into the earth. At the end is a locked door. Immediately curious, he starts fiddling with the lock, but just can't get it to budge. From behind him, he hears a voice. "Sir, I wouldn't do that, if I were you." He swings around, and is surprised to see Reginald standing two feet from him.
"What? Why not?"
"For your own safety, and the safety of others, please forget about what is behind that door, and carry on with your business."

>>8906928
Now, how many halflings do you know that are going to take his advice? Zero, that's how many. He immediately NEEDS to know everything there is to know about this house. He runs up to the library, and disturbs Jerry's reading and Githillan's... hallucination.
"ARE THERE ANY BOOKS ABOUT THE HOUSE?"
Jerry looks at him, quizzically. "How the hell would I know?"
Jeffrey starts rummaging through as many books as possible, and eventually finds a couple books on the town's history. All he can figure out is that the previous owners were prospectors.
"Hey, I'm gonna go find out about the history of this house, who wants to come?"
"What's gotten into you all of a sudden."
"There's a LOCKED DOOR in the BASEMENT!"
"...so?"
"I gotta know!" and he runs out of the room.

He runs into Fleur, just getting out of the tub and wandering around in a nice bathrobe. "HEY, wanna come find out about the history of the house?"
"...what?"
"There's a LOCKED DOOR in the BASEMENT!"
"Uh... huh. I'm gonna go get dressed, and you can have fun with that yourself."
At this, he, somewhat dejectedly, walks out of the house.

>>8906937
Fleur thinks, "That halfling's gonna get himself killed," dresses quickly, and follows him - invisible, of course.

Jerry says (to no-one in particular, as Githillan certainly isn't listening), "Hmm, I've got a couple canisters of quintessence in my bag of holding still; I should see if I can find somebody who can do something with it." He solicits Githillan to come with him, and heads off to the merchant quarter. He does not see any curious halflings (who I'll get back to in a second).

After searching around town for a bit, he finds one stop called "Jeremiah: Artificer Supreme", and finds the name promising. He wanders in, and sees a lot of junk. A LOT of junk. Mostly scrap metal, but some of it appeared to have definite shape at one point. He's startled by a little metal spider hopping up onto the counter. "You need something?"

He stares at it like pic related, and goes, "Uhh, are you the owner of the shop...?"

"No, I'll go get him."

It scurries off into a back room. From out of the back comes a beardless dwarf (*GASP*), holding about ten swords and robot arms over his shoulder. He speaks in a squeaky voice not unlike the dude who gives you your class in Morrowind. "I'm Jeremiah, what can I do for you?"

>>8907087
"Um, uhh, we heard you make robots...?"
"Oh yeah, sure do. Make lots of em. Got some over here."
Jeremiah (who is not a bullfrog) feeds one of the robot arms into a machine near the counter. It makes a loud buzzing sound that cuts off anything Jerry wanted to say. Out of it come some metal cubes.
"I wanted to ask if-"
BZZZZZZZ
"You know I just-"
BZZZZZZZ
"Can you stop that?"
"Oh sure, what'cha need? Why ya still standin' there?"
"Well, we've got this stuff called quintessence. The Thoon mind flayers used it. Can you do anything with it?"
"Oh yeah, sure, the stuff that's made outta people. I made spidey over there with it."
"Well, I was just wond-"
BZZZZZZ
"I was wondering if you wanted to buy or trade some."
"Allright, I suppose so. How much ya got?"
Jerry pulls out the two massive canisters from his bag of holding.
"Well, well, well, I could create somethin' REEAL nice with this. How much ya want for it?"
Jerry thinks, and comes up with an idea: "How about this. We'll give you one canister to make something for us, and as payment we'll give you the other. Deal?"
"Well, sure alright. Just give me a few days and I'll have something real nice cooked up. What do you want it to do?"
"Combat."
"Sure thing, nice seeing you!"
BZZZZZZZ

They walk out.

>>8907156
So, back to our expeditious halfling. He heads over to the Wizard library that they were headed to long ago, but never actually visited. He gets to their large building, and there is a large specimen of a man with a greataxe standing in front of the doorway. If he didn't know any better, he'd say it was a half-orc.

Jeffrey does his best to get in. "Hey, um, I'd like to look at some books."
"Hmph, you're not on the list, so get outta here."
"No, see, I, uh, just want to learn about some town history, because I just came into ownership of this new house you see, and uh..."
"Yeah, I know who yall are. Still can't come in. Private property."
"So, uh, yeah. About that. What you doin' later on tonight?"
He is taken aback by the sudden change in subject. "Uhh, nothin'. Why the hell you askin'?"
"I could buy you a drink, you know."
As he is not gay, being hit on by a halfling does nothing for him. In fact, it makes him a little angry.
"Alright buddy, look, I told'ya once. Get out before I have to smack ya."
"No, listen, I just wanna talk with you, get to know you a little."
"Alright, that's it!" and with that last remark, he swings down with the blunt side of his greataxe, smashing the halfling right on the head - and crits. Jeffrey is passed out, on the ground. The bouncer grabs him and throws him into an alleyway.

Fleur sighs (still invisible), picks him up, and carries him back home.

Anyone still reading this? I'm gonna keep posting either way, I'm just curious.

rolled 70 = 70

I am

I am, but you probably should have typed it all up beforehand and then posted it out... just a tip for next time >.>

I am too.

Is that a muther fucking Lionfish?!!?!1

>>8907255
Jerry and Githillan arrive back home about this time too, to see Fleur pop into reality with a halfling with a bleeding head. "What happened to him?"
"Long story. He tried to hit on a half-orc, among other things."
Jerry almost falls over laughing.

After a few hours of sleep (and Reginald whiffing in and out of the shadows to give him medicine), Jeffrey wakes back up. He hops out of bed, still SO ready to figure out what the hell is wrong with this house. The others are back doing what they were doing. In other words, not caring.

Jeffrey walks back outside. He goes to visit Jameson. He finds Jameson buried in paperwork. "Oh, hi Jeffrey. What do you need."
"Oh, yeah, that house? Yeah, it's got a locked door in the basement."
"...a locked door."
"Yeah, and I can't get it open."
"...did you try the handle?"
"Yes!"
"Hmm, well, I should've given you all the keys. Did you try all of them."
"Yes!"
"Alright, well, now tell me how this is my problem."
"I, er, um, well, it's not, but... Is there anyone in the city who could help me learn more about the house?"
"Did you try the local wizard guild library?"
"Yeah, I got knocked out. Long story."
"Ohhhkay... well, that's it, other than..."
His face makes a terrible grimmace and he looks down.
"HER."
Jeffrey is intrigued. "Her? Who?"
"Um, well, let's just say she's... a little more fanciful than the rest of us."
"Oh, that doesn't sound so bad. How can I meet her?"
His grimmace shifts.
"If you REALLY wanna talk to... HER..." and he gives him directions to a back alleyway on the eastern edge of the city. "Go there, find the red X, and yell 'shazam'. Good luck."

Oblivious to what he could be walking in to, he heads to the directions given, and yells shazam. He feels himself yanked downward, and before him...

>>8907381
Gaaaaah! The suspense!

>>8907381
We are, there's just not much to say about the current parts. Still F5ing like the motherfucking fist of the north star.

>>8907298
>>8907295
>>8907279
Sweet
>>8907358
fuck if i know, it's a neat motivator
>>8907381
Is a sprawling field of green. He's appeared on top of a stump of wood. Across the field is a nice little shack. A few yards away, behind another stump and under a tree, sits a wolf-woman, in bright rainbow-colored robes. She has large, bright wings, also rainbow-colored. Her hair is enormous. Yes, she really is pic related (I'm a horrible person, I know, I really sprung this on my players). She is reading what appears to be a large tome of magic.

She looks up from her book for a moment. "Ah, a VISITOR! How wonderful! Come, sit by me, and hear of my wisdom."
Jeffrey is appaled by what he sees. "Uhh, yeeah, I'll stand over here."
"Oh, that's fine. Did those stupid townspeople send you? They're always trying to tell me what to do. Gotta pity lesser beings, you know?"
"UHHHHHHH"
"Right, so, what do you want from me?"
"Uh, see, some guys told me that you know a lot of stuff and can help...me..."
"Oh, sure, but of course you have to do something for me. Why don't you tell me what you want, and I'll let you know."
"um, not sure if this is a good idea after all..."
"Oh, c'mon, just tell me".
"well, um, I just got a house, you see, and I wanted to know about its past..."
"OH no problem NO Problem! All I want you to do, is to convince the townspeople that I'm the most beautiful creature ever. Can you do that?"
"Um... maybe?"
"Oh, just try."

Out from the shack, comes a completely naked man with a blue cock. He yells, "Honey! We're overdue for more sex!"
"Coming dear~" and she runs off.

Jeffery, appalled at this, goes over and looks at her magic tome.
It's a copy of Twilight.
Disgusted, he runs back to the treestump, yells shazam, and runs home as quick as possible.
Reginald greets him. "Did you have a fine outing, sir?"
"You DONT wanna know."

>>8907498

I'm still kinda pissed that the epic battle /tg/ staged against her got deleted off the archives

>>8907498
At this point, Jerry gets restless. He heads to the tavern to get a drink. What he finds, are more pissed-off miners. Oh no.

He chats it up with them, and hears more about "That damn Wilson, shutting us down AGAIN, and we only just got back to work", or "some bigass worm thing appeared in our mine or something and it's 'too dangerous' or some bullshit." Well Jerry has had about enough of Wilson, and comes up with a plan on the spot.

He stands on a table, and yells, "PEOPLE! Are you not tired of tyranny? Have you not lived too long under the thumb of a cruel leader? Is it not time you lived for yourselves? Worked for your own livelihoods? Come with me! I have seen the terrors this man thinks he holds over the town, and I shall dispel them! Come with me, and we will take back this town!"

The patrons, already drunk, hearing his epic speech, cheer. Jerry walks out of the bar, a small mob of angry drunk miners in tow. He leads them in chant. "WILSON MUST GO! GIVE US BACK THE MINE! WILSON MUST GO! GIVE US BACK THE MINE!" As they travel through town, gathering more angry workers, the mob grows. They happen to wander by the mansion the rest of the party is at. Reginald informs them, "I think you should attend to your friend." They follow behind, none of them wanting to really be involved.

Except Ganig. He somehow gets the chant changed to "WISON MUST GO! GIVE US BACK THE MINE! KILL ALL THE DEMONS!"

Having gathered a sufficiently large mob, Jerry leads them to Wilson's tower. Hearing the commotion, Jameson and two guards are the first ones out. He sees Jerry, and goes "What the hell are you DOING!?" The crowd keeps chanting. They are angry, and some of them armed. He shakes his head, and goes to get Wilson.

>>8907498
So you literally had your players encounter the devil.

That's eeeeeeeeeeeevil.

>>8907598
Wilson comes out, dressed in fancy robes, but still holding his sword at his side. He booms, "ENOUGH!" The crowd quiets down.

"YOU!" He points at Jerry. "You have done MUCH for my city. But you now wish to overthrow me, the rightful ruler of this town?"

"Yes, and I will now show these people why your tyranny must end!" And he casts Magic Jar.

If you don't know what the spell does, it basically lets you possess people.

So, as part of the spell, his soul enters a gem. His body falls to the ground, limp. The crowd gasps.

He tries to possess Wilson's body. Wilson, sadly, makes his save, and has none of it. He does, however, know that an attempt was just made to do something awful, magically to his body.

He swoons back for a second, as Jerry's body reanimates. He yells, "This man has attempted to bewitch me! Guards, take him away, and make sure he can't cast any more spells!'

Jerry is now in jail. The angry mob disperses, their leader having been very quickly disposed of. The party, having seen all of this, contemplates what the hell they're going to do to get this idiot free.

>>8907381
>>8907255
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>>8905320
Cool, awesome, great...

>>8907498
WAT?

>>8907640
Isn't it?
>>8907664
Jerry is unceremoniously - no, violently - led to his jail cell. He is locked up, his hands tied to keep his magic from working.

He is sitting there, waiting. He asks the guard if he can contact anyone. "Nope, you'll get a 'trial' and then you'll be executed." Shit. Well, can I at least have some water? "Hah, sure." He goes to get a stone bowl for animals, fills it with water, and slides it under the cell.

This sucks.

After giving them sufficient time to get him in, the party goes to visit him in jail. They are greeted by a jailor and a mage, who have them drop all weapons into a special storage case. They are then sent down to see Jerry. They note the single guard in this hallway, and how there are only a few other prisoners there.

Jerry yells "You've GOTTA get me outta here! They're gonna kill me!"
Jeffrey chuckles, and says, "Yeah, you know, you got yourself into this one."
"Well, I know, but can you at least help me out? I can't even drink this water properly."
Jeffrey turns to the guard. "You know, all his equipment is in that case up there, right?"
"Yeah, what about it?"
"Well, his money pouch had 8,000 gold in it. Untie his hands, and you can retire tonight."
He laughs, goes, "Yeah, sounds good to me." And goes to get it. Jerry glares at them, and yells "And bring me the small gemstone in there! I get really nervous without it!"
"Yeah, sure, whatever."

The guard comes back, unties his hands, and throws Jerry the stone. "You might even be gettin' some nice dinner tonight!" Jerry reaches out, grabs the guard on the side, and casts Slay Living.

There is now one very dead guard on the floor.

>>8907784
"TAKE HIS KEYS AND GET ME OUTTA HERE!"
The party, realizing they are now assistants to not just breaking their friend out of jail, but murder, work quickly to free him.

Once out, they discuss the plan quickly, and run to put it into action.

First, Jerry puts his soul back into the gem. His body is, for all intents and purposes, dead.

Ganig then carries him upstairs.

They see the jailor, who asks them what the HELL they are doing with that body. They say, "He's sick, and the guard let us take care of him for the moment."

"Well, that doesn't seem like regulHURGHHH" and he get magic jar'd. Jerry is now in the Jailor's body. He grabs his old body, and tells everyone to get their equipment and run. They do.

He stays for just a second, and tells the mage assistant that "something pretty awful happened. This guy and the guard just up and died, no marks on their bodies. I'm taking this one over for autopsy, you'd better check down there for signs of magic."

Having gotten the mage out of the way, he RUNS back to the house with the rest of them, and puts himself back into his own body - but not before having the jailor tied up.

The jailor, Bob, awakens back in his own body. "Huh, what, the HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS FUCKING HELL"

SHHHHH from everyone.

"Fucking, I mean God Damn I'm gonna kill you all just let me OUT"

Fleur goes to work her magic. Charm Person does the job, along with a little more convincing. "Hey there. Listen, I know it looks real bad, but we're not bad people. We picked you to help, because you look like you could handle anything, even what we've got."
She's got his attention.
"Now, look in my eyes, okay? I'm not a liar. Just, go back to your job, and be a good boy, and we'll help you out later. I scratch your back, I let you rub mine."
He nods in approval, and walks back to his work, a little more woozy for the wear.

>>8907951
Unfortunately, they KNOW that they're done for; the only people in and out of there were them, and the body that went missing just so happened to be Jerry's. It won't be long before somebody comes questioning them.

They collectively decide: we've gotta run.

They thank Reginald for his time, and start preparing to go.

He says, "Sirs and madam, it was a pleasure. As one last service, I would like to show you to the basement."

He floats along the hallway, down towards the basement, and right through the door. Perplexed, they follow, and find that the door was just an illusion. He says, "due to my nature, I cannot follow you down there, but please make do with what you can."

They head down a smooth spiral-shaped corridor, to the bottom. It opens into a small room with a stone archway in the center. There are glyphs carved into the ground all around the room. They stare.

Githillan goes, "It's a portal."
"A what?" replies Jeffery.
"Yeah, you'll end up in a random place in the universe. Might save ya, miiiight kill ya. Happened to me once. That's how I lost my left leg.'
"You have both your legs."
"I know."
"...anyways, what's the chance of us surviving?"
"Oh, I dunno. Ever gotten struck by lightning?"
"Er, no?"
"Then I wouldn't touch it."

They agree that it is a pretty bad idea, and start back upstairs. They hear some yelling, some stomping, some screaming, and then some more stomping. After that, silence.

They run back upstairs.

Awesome shit Saburo, keep it coming

To demonstrate interest, bump

>>8908058
Going back upstairs, slowly, the come around the corner into the main room.

There is a giant bloodstain splattered against the wall and floor.

Jeffrey yells "Holy SHIT what happened in here!?"

Reginald floats out of the shadows, and says, "Sir, I was protecting your interests. I ate them."
"You WHAT?"
"Mmyes, I consumed two of the guards. That man Wilson has a strong spirit, and I couldn't he ran off."
"Wuh, huh, you..."
"Sir, did I neglect to mention that I am not alive?"
"...yes."
"In any case, you should be going. They are certain to be back with more firepower. I suggest running. I cannot follow, but I bid you adieu."

Reginald bows. The party sheds a single tear, and runs.

The spellcasters in the group make everyone invisible, and they speed to the north gate as fast as they can. Jerry informs them of Jeremiah's deal, and they run to his shop.

They burst into his shop, to find him fiddling with a box.

Jerry yells, "JEREMIAH! We need help, now! And you owe us!"
"Well now, well now, just calm down. What do you need?"
"We're fleeing the city and need something to get us out!"
"Fleeing? That's no good. I won't ask where yer goin', but I'll help ya out. Here, I made these two things with just a little quintessence. I've got a ton left if you just wait a couple days..."
"No time!"
"Alright, here, take a look."

>>8908189
He pulls out a canister, about the size of your fist. He throws it at Jerry, and it floats. "When you yell the word 'SHOOT'" - and a ball of energy flies from the canister and makes a nice hole in the wall. "Well, no worries, you paid for a lot already. And I've got this other thing here..."
He pulls out a side box, about 10 inches on a side. "All you do is shake, open it, and it makes a bomb!" He demonstrates, realizes he has a bomb in his hand, and throws it out the hole the canister made. "Anyways, they're yours. Have a good life!"

They thank him and head outside. They use their new toys to blast a sizable hole in the north wall of the city - it only takes a few bombs and blasts to make one big enough for them to fit through. They get out, and start running back towards the Veil King's keep, as that is now the only place they are welcome.

Once they get around the city and back on the main tunnel, they hear a huge explosion from behind them, inside the city. Jerry estimates that it came from about where their house used to be. The mages firebombed it, and are probably now searching for them. They still have to stick to the main road, so they run for dear life. It is, however, still a 3 day journey.

>>8908277
After running for a few hours, they start to tire out, and have to switch to a brisk walk. Then, they hear a howling of wind from behind them. They quickly find a side tunnel to head in to, and hide themselves as best as possible. What they see fly by at incredible speed, are Wilson and Sven on ghost horses. Luckily, they aren't spotted, but they are worried as hell. Jerry realizes he has Umber Hulk zombies. And what do Umber Hulks have? A burrow speed! He takes both of them out and orders them to forge a new path in the direction of the Veil King.

They end up back out into the main tunnel and find a Druid. He joins the party. Derp.

Now, here is where the party gets EXCEEDINGLY unlucky. You see, I've been leaving this out, but I rolled random Underdark encounters for them whenever they traveled over a certain distance. I had "really bad shit" happen on a really low roll. 1, 2, and 3, to be exact.

I roll a 1 on the next encounter. To know what happens, search the archived thread for "Bodak Problem". Long story short, two party members die, and Ganig gets reincarnated as a BLACK BEAR. A BLACK BEAR that can TALK. It's pretty awesome.

Having dealt with some of the bodak problem, they tunnel off in a new direction. The party quickly gets sick of Ganig informing them that he is now a bear. "Hey guys, I'm a bear. A black bear." They find their way to a new tunnel.

I roll another 1. Bodak problem AGAIN. They run in a new direction.

>Bodak problem AGAIN

>>8908412
They end up back on the main, familiar tunnel. I roll my encounter table (about the last one they have to do before they get to safety). I roll that, yes, they have an encounter, and I roll 3 on the table. Shit. This is one of the other "possible bad things that will probably never happen, but will if I roll it." The luminescent fungus that covers the walls and floor of this tunnel go into its once-per-few-years-reproductive-cycle. They start spitting spores everywhere. These spores are poisonous to most things that breathe, sending them into anaphylactic shock. Ganig sees the warning signs of this, and yells "GET OFF THE ROOOOOAD! I'M A BEARRRR!"

They tunnel away from that area in a totally new direction, and discuss what to do next. Ganig informs them that the fungus produces its spores for about a week, and if they don't want to die, they should stay off the road. And probably away from the Veil King's keep, too.

On the plus side, Wilson and Sven (if you dont like him either) are now very dead.

So, they cast a couple detection spells, and head someplace that DOESN'T have bodaks or life-threatening fungus. They pop out nearby a ruined drow city. Most of it is rubble, but there are still some buildings standing. Off in the distance, they can see fires burning outside a stronghold.

After wandering towards the Drow city, and then through it (hoping to find a warmer welcome than the bodaks gave), several Drow step out of the shadows, bows pointed right at them.

"You all should go back the way you came!" yells the leader.

Githillan casts "Light" on Ganig, the bear. He yells, "WE are but PILGRIMS, traveling with the GREAT BEAR GOD, seeking ENLIGHTENMENT! Join us!"

The party gives pause, and Jeffrey is the first to join in - "ALL HAIL THE BEAR GOD!"

They begin to act as if they are worshiping the glowing bear.

I have them roll a collective bluff check. It's decent.

>>8908545
The Drow believe that, yes, these people believe that this bear is a God. No, they do not believe he IS a God. They start to chuckle. The leader says, stifling her laughter, "Well, you can have fun worshiping a Bear God all you want, but you need to go someplace else with that."

The druid wildshapes into a Squirrel and hides, and runs behind the leader. He is not noticed.

Ganig, the Bear, yells "I AM THE BEAR GOD! WORSHIP ME, OH FOOLISH ONES!" The party keeps up the act. "bearrrr godddd, bearrrr godddd".

The Drow can hardly keep straight faces at this point. "Alright, well, you can preach your 'bear god religion', but we'll see what our leaders think of you."

Jeffrey quick draws his crossbow and fires at her. Right between the eyes, crit and full sneak attack. She is dead.

The Druid (whatever his name is, I don't remember) does something by turning back into a human.

Jerry, seeing that it's changed to battle, casts Cloudkill. The bowmen were not very high level. Some die, some start taking mad Con damage and run away. The Druid melds into rock so as to not die.

The party gets a good laugh at the hacking and coughing Drow. Jerry sends the cloudkill through their town and towards the fortress. They tunnel off in a new direction.

>>8908650
The party decides they have had ENOUGH. The underdark is bullshit. They don't give two fucks about fungus or dank cellars or anything. They've all got a week's worth of rations, so they come up with a new plan:

Umber hulk zombies, dig 45 degrees upward. We're going to the surface!

Being able to travel 12 hours a day (because the zombies can't move so fast), it takes them several days to get to the surface. But, they make it eventually.

The DM is REALLY NICE and, as part of his "where the hell do you end up" roll does not include "the ocean". Which would've been a party wipe, but would've wiped that Drow stronghold too, so yeah.

Anyways, they do NOT burst into the ocean, but into the mountains. Basically, imagine the mountains of Peru. Or the cold as fuck ones in New Zealand. There are a LOT of them, it is COLD, and they don't know where the hell they are. And the only sign of any kind of civilization is smoke coming from a LONG ways off.

They get ready for the trek.

As they come over perhaps the third or forth peak, they finally see where the smoke is coming from: what is probably the only settlement for miles. There are a series of huts, all packed really closely together, with the occasional storehouse or other large building sitting nearby. Not knowing what else to do, they head down the slope and towards the village.

Also, the far edge is on a sheer cliff.

As they get closer, they see a large crowd gathered in one of the open areas on the north side of the village. Seems to be a fight of some sort. They head on in, and go check it out...

>>8908776
What they find is a very shirtless man fistfighting
with a dwarf. The crowd cheers with every blow they exchange, but the dwarf (who is fully bearded) gets the upper hand, and knocks his opponent to the ground. People cheer, money is exchanged, and the crowd starts to disperse.

Githillan, fully believing that Ganig is a God, yells to the crowd: "People, come one, come all, witness the great BEAR GOD!" He casts Light on him again. Ganig is now glowing. Some of the crowd starts to shift to watch them.

"And yes, the Bear God is great, the Bear God is powerful, but the Bear God can also DANCE!"

He (and,after a few seconds, Jeffrey) assist Ganig in a perform check. They roll HELL of good. Fleur makes herself scarce.

The people aren't convinced he's a Bear God, but they are convinced he can dance. They throw some money down, clap, and the crowd disperses.

The dwarf who had just won the fistfight comes over with tears in his eyes. With his ridiculously thick scottish accent, he says. "Ahv never seen such a beautiful dance in me life. Tell me more, laddies, about this Bear God religion. Ah think Ah'v seen the truth!" Ganig now has two followers.

So, new city, new problems. What do they do? Of course, find the tavern and have a drink with the locals.

On their way there, and in the tavern, what the party starts to notice is that the makeup of this town is... different from what they're used to. One out of every five is a tiefling (and not hiding it). Most are humans, but there's even the occasional frost giant. The party starts wondering if, as outlanders, they're going to be stabbed in their sleep...

>>8908954
They still chat it up with the locals nonetheless. They try to get some info on the town's government. They (roll really well) and learn that
a) This town is ruled by a Half-Fiend.
b) Since the leader doesn't come out very often, his fully-human half-brother, Kenris, does all the real work in town as their cheif.
c) They're tightly knit, and don't like outsiders much.
d) Oh, they're also evil as fuck.

Everyone does this, except Jerry, who wandered off earlier. He gets grabbed by a man running by, and is forced into manual labor for a while. "All abled bodied men need to be working now! We're gearing up for war, didn't you know? And who gave you those ridiculous clothes? We'll grab you some furs on the way. C'mon" In no position to argue, he follows along for a while. Once it's revealed that he's an outsider, he gets told that his help isn't wanted anymore, and to get out.

Seeing all the movement around town, they chat it up some more, seeing what's going on. It turns out, this tribe is preparing for war on two sides - one, with the recently awakened dragon Azkez, and one with the Bellshire province of Dwarves, who have been encroaching upon their lands. Seems alright.

Jeffrey decides to take initiative in getting things set right. He asks where he can find Kenris, and goes to talk to him. Somehow or another, he's granted an audience.

Kenris is very tall, has very white hair, and is very covered in nothing but animal furs. He does not give a fuck.

He asks how he can help, as he wants to prove himself to this town. Kenris replies that someone so short can't help them at all.

After a little argument, he finally gets out of him what's going on (see above). He gives the halfling an offer.

"Alright, if you want to prove yourself, you must beat one of our finest warriors in unarmed combat. If you, so small, can beat one of us, you will be welcomed into our ranks. If not, we'll throw what's left of you out into the cold."

>>8909080
Jeffrey thinks about this.

He says, "I've got a better idea. Six of my men versus six of yours. I have friends, and they're certain to want to help out, too."

"It is a done deal. Meet in the open area to the north of town, at high noon. We will have six of us there. You had best show up. Now, go."

Jeffrey, happy that he made a good deal, trots back to the tavern to inform everyone of what happened.

He gets there, tells them, and gets nothing but smacks and glares. Fleur is especially angry. "You just conscripted us into the army of an evil tribe, do you realize that? Pretty much our only choice is to run, tonight."
Jerry (who was back by this time), replied, "No, I'm tired of running. Let's enter into their fight and see what happens. If we lose, we leave. If we win, we can negotiate."

The party begrudgingly agrees that, yes, they have a deal they should be sticking to.

They discuss the plan. Since nobody really knows who they are yet, they can send who they like. The halfling has to go. They pick Ganig (he's a BEAR). They pick the Dwarf, Durin (the new convert). That makes three. They realize they have a Necromancer, a Warlock, a Sorcerer, and a Druid left to pick from. Shit. They decide that the Druid will wildshape into a bear, summon a bear, and the Necromancer will go (and use his spell storing mace).

They sleep restlessly, and wake up early, tensely awaiting the battle at noon...

>>8909148
And that, friends, is what has happened in the campaign I am DMing with friends around here. That is how the last session ended. It will continue this Saturday. I hope you all enjoyed reading it.

If enough people liked my (incredibly long, it covered like 2 months of play) story, I can post updates after each session, or wait until later.

Comments, etc, are of course appreciated.

>>8909162
I would like to point out I've been at this for like 4 hours.

kudos are in order, you've got an amazing group, and you're an awesome dm

nice writeup.

For those interested, about 80%+ of this was ad-libbed by me as a DM. I don't railroad (as you can tell; I let them just go to the surface!), so I'm always ready for anything.

>>8909300
WHOA WHOA WHOA, you're the guy who played the Saburo character from the archived revolution campaign?

Holy fucking shit dude, you and your friends are like god tier gamers, you should film your sessions holy fuck

>>8909404
Yes, I am one and the same. Like I said in the other thread, my players in this campaign are not the same as the guys I played with for the one with Saburo in it. However, the guy playing Jeffrey in this campaign is the same guy playing Frak in the campaign we've come to trolling.

>>8908954
>The people aren't convinced he's a Bear God, but they are convinced he can dance.

?

>>8910071
HAHAHA More or less.

I love these fags so fucking much

Bumping for awesome.
This was the only bear picture I could find...

When the fuck did that "Post to Facebook" get there?

>>8912662
Roughly 8 hours and 50 minutes ago, I'd expect.

Around when the clocks changed over to April 1st.

>>8907573
Got the thread number? A sufficiently unique searchable phrase? (Is it in easymodo?)

lol

This tale has been quite awesome.

Polite sage to avoid bumping ancient thread.

holy fuck, this thread hasn't 404'd yet?

>>8920092
Funny, I just finished reading it on suptg.