>>9054492 prior thread is here.

Say, "A match...MAID in Hell?"

Chuckle.

Masturbate.

Okay.

I'd like to take stock- do we have any inventory? Are we naked? Do we have bitching abs? Am I Patrick Swayze ghost style, or Frighteners ghost style?

Masturbate using your mind only.

>>9055966
Shout out to the paladin that you'd appreciate a bit of help, if they can spare the time from demonslaying.

WE ARE GETTING THE FUCK OUT.

We're a spirit. I don't see how we can hurt ourselves by trying to rip the shackles out of the wall.

MAIM! KILL! BURN!

WE MUST DESTROY THE VERY LEGIONS OF HELL TO RETURN TO OUR BELOVED TRAP AND HEAD MAID.

TO BATTLE!

Call that Paladin over so you can get out of these chains. Bondage may turn you on, but now isn't the time for that.

>>9056000

If we can reach our dick, do this.

At the same time, call out for the knight to help us. Maybe s/he'll let us out of these chains so we can fap more easily.

now would be an excellent time to see if we are limber enough for autofellatio

>>9056000
>>9055977

After making a snarky comment, you think about it for a moment. . . I guess it is traditional.

Since you have no pants on, it's not hard to get them off. You quickly start to masturbate to the sight of this knight cleaving through demon after demon.

It's a bit hard to get aroused with all these hellfires burning around you, but what the hell. You've masturbated in worse conditions. You think.

Shout to the swordwielder.

>>9055966
Masturbate of course

>>9055977

>>9056039
I fucking love you.

Call the swordsman over. He works for us now.

>>9056017
>19 year old nerd
>bitching abs

not likely. i think we have like 1 athleticism.

call out to the paladin, something witty. tell him (her?) we could use a hand when she gets a minute.

>>9056039

Now that that's out of the way, lets get to KILLING THE FUCK OUT OF HELL.

what ARE our stats anyway?

>>9056039
Finish wanking, then call to the paladin for assistance.

Hope it's a female paladin.

>>9055966
Do Alicia and Felicia really count as being in our employ any more? I think killing us and sending us to hell should count as reasonable grounds for termination

>>9056040
>>9056035
>>9056029

You scream out for help to the figure in armor. They look across at you, in shock. You hear them mutter something about, "What the hell. . ." before suddenly turning around and diving through the masses of demons.

The demons manage to dive on top of the armored figure, dogpiling it, before they suddenly explode away in a burst of holy light as the Paladin raises its sword and flings them away. Radiant Damage FTW.

Hire three 'maids' aka, prostitutes, sleep with them while wearing 14 condoms, fire them immediately, apologize to the rest of the staff for your actions and explain how your uncle was a sick fuck. Request they continue doing the excellent work they have been doing.

Done and done.

Is the paladin a hammerdin, or one of those dumbasses that boosts thorns and thinks it's awesome?

>>9056060
Saying we could use a hand while we are furiously masturbating could have some bad consequences.

Evil energy is like evil force. Change its direction, and it changes to good!

I will be disappoint if the paladin doesn't try to RIP AND TEAR Alicia upon the sight of her HUGE...um...guts.

>>9056080
Like that would stop us from considering them as potential cock docks!

>>9056039

Feels good man.

Finish what we're doing and put our pants back on (its easy, since we don't have any).

Then start shouting helpful tips for the paladin. Such as "OH FUCK LOOK OUT THERE'S ONE BEHIND YOU" and "LOOK OUT HE HAS A PITCHFORK" and the like.

>>9056098
I say it

Paladin will be new maid. New, awesome maid. Possibly 63'd Doomgal.

>>9056118
GEE DUDE STOP GETTING HIT MAN

>>9056084

You should have been here way in the first thread; we already have a staff and are currently unable to hire more maids.

>>9056081
Whistle "Always Look On The Bright Side of Life" while we wait.

What the hell else CAN we do? Apart from masturbate?

>>9056080
For that... we need to tell Alicia that to her face. Preferably in a Schwarzenegger-style pre-kill one-liner.

"You're fired."

>>9056081

Request freedom and arms, we must escape this place.

We must FIGHT. And WIN. And KILL AND MAIM AND RIP AND TEAR AND BURN AND SLAUGHTER AND EVISCERATE AND BUTCHER AND SLASH AND HACK AND REND!

>>9056142
Whaaaaaaaaaaat? Kill her? But she's totally hot!

We just need to work out a better policy vis-a-vis the whole damnation business.

>>9056039
wait for the DM to give us something meaningful to react to

>>9056090
Sounds more like a zealadin by previous description, but damn that last move sounds like a hammerdin...

>>9056118

You call out advice. It's not all that helpful, but it makes you feel good anyway.

Once the Paladin finishes slaying the last demon in the area, it takes its huge sword and flicks the sword off the blade. By the way, the blade is about as long as she is. Huge fucking sword.

And yes, it is a she. You can tell because she's not wearing armor on her midriff and her breast plate is shaped to her chest, like all women's armor.

She takes off her helmet and tucks it under an arm. "What in Bahamut's name are you doing here?" she wonders. "I was not aware that Lady Asmoday had any prisoners."

>>9056142

While we wait, I'm gonna put it out there:

The chances of Alicia and Felicia coming home are... well, not high.

>>9056158
Hmm. I suppose you're right.

But she does have a LOT of apologizing to do.

>>9056180
"She does. Now can you please cut me loose? These chains are starting to chafe."

>>9056180

Ask for assistance in escaping hell, once we are back in our home, we can explain fully.

Request a firearm or blade, and armor, if possible. Then GTFO.

>>9056180

flicks the BLOOD off the blade. SLOW down me.

>>9056180
"Oh yeah, naw, I'm really important to, uh, the whole, y'know...Heaven thing. Do you happen to have some pants?"

>>9056180

"It's a long story, but we can talk once you free me and I'm armed!"

When she approaches ask her name.

>>9056188
Forcing an apology might not be the best idea. She does have dirt on us. Dirt that will make our butler very, very cross.

>>9056180
FFFFF Asmoday. Female Asmodious. we're fucking boned.

"Long story short. my ancestors made a deal with the devil, and now they're trying to collect from me for the sins of the father. I honestly believe the sins of the father do not pass down. But i would, if possible, request your aid in our escape as well as offer you (a place to rest/be hired at) once We leave

>>9056180

"That bitch killed us! Granted, we shot her catgirl dead, but she attacked first!"

>>9056180
There was this demon chick, and she killed me after I refused to condemn the souls of all my ancestors back to the 10th century to hell.

You know, if Alicia's one of those painfully contractual demons, we can keep her working for us based on the terms of our original employment contract. And then troll the fuck out of her. "Oh, how did holy water get into all the incoming pipes here? I'm just as shocked as you are."

>>9056180
"Nah, killed by a succubus of some sort. And a panther.

So, what's your party doing down here any
PLEASE HELP ME DOWN NOW."

>>9056180
"Ah, you see, I've managed to frustrate a demoness. You know, doing the right thing and all that. I've got a trump card over her, and she really wants me dead...er.

Mind if you give me a hand?

>>9056180
"Heeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyy good lookin', come out here often?"

oonts oonts oonts

>>9056180

"oh i'm not a prisoner, i'm just here for some tea."

Tell her we're here due to a family curse and we're trying to save our ancestor's souls from hell. Good, holy stuff. And completely truthful as well!

>>9056235
nahhhh. Killed by a succubi who's read too many R.A. Salvatore Forgotten realms books.

Don't worry, we've read My Balls, we know how to handle demons.

>>9056180
"Yes. I'm her prisoner because anyone I fuck, is immune to demons."

roll bluff

>>9056180

>>female paladin
>>lady asmoday
>>holy shit its the Great Wheel with maids!

"Is that whose prisoner I am? Fuck. Anyway, some demon with a pet catgirl killed me and I need to get home. Help?"

>>9056187
Bullshit!
We're some pervert controlled by /tg/. No maid left behind is our creed. We don't even know if they attacked us of their own free volition.

>>9056256
>>9056248
>>9056246
>>9056243
>>9056239
>>9056235
>>9056231
>>9056227
>>9056225
>>9056222
>>9056220
>>9056218
>>9056215

"I see." The woman looks skeptical. "I know not of these fire-arms you speak of, but I do have an arming blade you could carry. . . one moment." She takes a deep breath and, with two deft swings of her huge sword, cuts through the chains that bind you. "Better," she says, as you drop to the ground. "And here." She pulls off her cloak and hands it to you. "Cover thy modesty. It seems thou were most foully used by a demon of lust."

She gestures to the cum all over your thighs.

She mentioned Bahamut, shes likely a paladin of him, ask for release, if she refuses, play off how Bahamut is extremely compassionate for good things.

>>9056321
"Whaaaaaaaaa oh yeah, shit, right. Whoops."

Inspect her closely for blushing.

>>9056321
Yeah, let's just say that.

>>9056321
So, you wouldn't happen to have any idea what the best way to get out of here is would you... miss...

>>9056321
Yeah, that five-horned palm demon is a pretty tough customer.

>>9056321
Thank her. Be very polite.

>>9056321

>>9056321
if thats Alicia we fucked instead of our masturbation. Thats one Maid down, we havent fired her yet

Take the cloak, and wear it but don't cover our jizzed thighs. "I prefer to not hide my scars (or whatever). its dishonorable"

Take the Blade but warn her that you probably suck with it

>>9056360
Seconded.

>>9056321

"Ah. Yes. Used by a lust demon. It was...horrible. Please don't speak of it again or ask us for any details."

Put on the cloak.

"Thanks. What's your name?"

>>9056321

We are now armed with a sword. We can now take on the EYE OF TERROR ITSELF! FOR NOTHING IS MORE DEADLY THAN A NERD WITH A BLADE!

NOW, LET US LEAVE THIS WRETCHED PLACE, AND WOE BETIDE ANY FOE STUPID ENOUGH TO STAND BEFORE US.

>>9056321
Wear cloak as a loincloth/kilt, take her spare blade.

We shall find Alicia, and when we do... she'll beg us to be our slave.

>>9056336

She looks upon you with disinterest, although she does bite her lower lip and rub the back of her neck, fiddling with her short, blond hair.

Speaking of which. . .

-----
Jehanne
Type: Sexy / Pure
Level: Neutral

Special: Armor

Weapons: Giant Sword

Colors: Blond Hair, Blue eyes, silver armor.

Athletics: 4
Affection: 2
Skill: 3
Cunning: 2
Luck: 2
Will: 1

Spirit: 10
Stress: 0

All other stats unknown.

>>9056321

Ask for a name, ask what her plans are and in return tell her that we must return home. If she would accompany us we would be most grateful. A paladin cannot refuse.

>>9056380

We learn gunplay from a grizzled British warhero. We learn swordplay from a paladin of Bahamut. We learn playplay from a house full of maids.

By the end of this month we're going to be fist of the motherfucking north star.

>>9056387
"Right. What's our plan?"

>>9056387
So, Jehanne, do you have any idea how to get out of here?

>>9056387
We've gotten burned before.

"You're...A girl, right? All girl equipment in there, right?"

>>9056382
>>9056380
>>9056378
>>9056376

You take up her sword and put on her cloak. You feel a lot like Conan. It would probably work better if you weren't a fat nerd. But you still feel pretty badass anyway.

Jehanne, as it turns out her name is, turns towards the hell-tower in the distance, cleaving through the forests of the damned with her sword. "I am knight-errant," she explains, "on a quest to purge my sins and make myself right again in the eyes of my god. In order to do this, I must defeat and slay the Demon Goddess of Lust, Lady Asmoday, in mortal combat, or die trying."

Express hatred for Tiamat. That should earn a point or two.

>>9056444

Check her for fatigue or injuries. If either are present, tell her to fall back to our house for the time being.

> playplay

Youknow, maybe we should try to get them into pnp games in the evenings some nights, when we're trying to interact with all the girls at once. And then show them this thing we found called MAid RPG and see if they want to give it a go.

>>9056444
Whoa.

"That's some serious shit. What'd you do that requires a jaunt to HELL to make up for?"

try to guess her level. Paragon tier?

>>9056444
Knight-errant? Purge her sins? This girl is the jackpot.

Offer her assistance. Possibly by running distraction for Lady Asmoday.

>>9056444
"I'm afraid you can't kill her... she's my maid. She's run a bit amuck at the moment, so I will help you to bring her under control."

>>9056444
"Ah, a Demoness of Lust. Don't worry, my family has... experience in these matters. I'll have your back and trust that you'll have mine. I have some secret "techniques" that I can use; trust me that I know what I'm doing."

>>9056468
WE CAN'T GO TO OUR HOUSE IT'S IN HELL AND PROBABLY ANOTHER COSMOLOGY

>>9056444

If we escape, it would be prudent to assume the demon-bitch would come back for us, ergo, if we head back to the mansion, we will have home field advantage for the coming battle, in addition to prep time. Communicate this to Jehanne, ask for her input.

>>9056455
>>9056479
>>9056468

You express hatred for Tiamat. She seems confused, but seems to not and agree with you. She doesn't seem to recognize the name at all. Maybe she's from a setting where Tiamat doesn't exist, or something.

When you ask her about her sin, she gets very quiet, and rubs the back of her neck, biting her lower lip again. "I do not wish to say," she admits, "for it is most unworthy of a Knight of the Order. Suffice to say. . . there is a reason why I was told to slay a demon of LUST."

>>9056507
She's not a frakking wizard.

>>9056518

Lesbian?

>>9056518
Oh hohohohohohooooo.

>>9056518
It is mortal to make mistakes. no one is infallible

Guys, when we killed our self, was the ray-gun disintegrated too? If not... would Alicia have the ray-gun when we get back?

>>9056518
We're demon immune right? We'll be her sheath.

>>9056444
good thing im not a fat nerd

>>9056518
I've already killed her familiar. The fight should be easy now.

>>9056518
offer assistance on her quest.

>>9056545
You know, even in the context of that game, that phrase always made me think of strap-ons.

>>9056518
... Okay, now we definitely want her around.

Ask what exactly happened. If she doesn't want to talk about it, don't press the matter, and get to the demon-slaying.

>>9056518
"Yessss, yes, I sense we share a certain kinship," put on pained expression, look mysteriously.

Hope for fell wind to blow our cape/kilt around a bit while we nobly stare off in the distance.

>>9056518
She's still fine as long as she LOVES us before we do it.

>>9056518

"You saved my life. I am indebted to you, so let me repay you. Because of my ancestor's contract, I cannot be killed by demons. Please, let us go forth and finish your quest together."

>>9056518

"Heheh. Tell me how you got here, and I'll do the same. Trust me, there are lots of lust demons running around."

Think to myself if I know of any settings that was Bahamut but not Tiamat. My nerd-fu is strong, so if not its probably someone's homebrew.

"Anyway, any plans yet?"

>>9056585
Tahkisis? From dragonlance?

No, then Bahamut would be Paladin.

>>9056616
no Bahamut in that setting. there is Paladine instead

>>9056566
...letting her see our jizz-coated thighs...

Oh fuck me, 4 threads already?

I though most of you guys didn't like quest threads

>>9056564
>>9056582

Jehanne sighs.

"It is too embarassing. . . after we slay the demon, I shall perhaps tell you." (Faction not high enough to trigger this event).

The two of you continue on towards the tower. There's not too much to do. Aside from a few minor demons that Jehanne easily dispatches with her sword, you have no further encounters.

You do, however, gain a few XP. You now have a total of 20.

>>9056648
We must level up our Atletichs trough this ordeal. Get the body of a mortal god!

>>9056648
hooray we've almost recouped the earlier loss.

Wonder Idly if we're a cleric or magic user or something in this setting.

>>9056648
Do some sparring/training exercises during a lull period so you can help her better.

Make subtle passes at her during the exchanges.

>>9056648
Strike up conversations about home and past (avoid the Sin) in an attempt to create camaraderie while fighting through hell.

>>9056648

(Soooo... take her home?)

>>9056648
Continue on and try to learn more about Jehanne while travelling/killing demons.

>>9056648

"So, Lady Asmoday. How much do you know about her, and what kind of defenses has she got? And how are either of us getting home afterward."

Remind her that we are immune to demons, and that we might be useful as a distraction and/or meat shield.

>>9056648
How do we improve our stats?

>>9056686

Do this.

Sparring might help too.

>>9056648
you like fishsticks?

>>9056688

Yes. There are demons after us. We need a maidadin.

I'd crash, but I want to see if Alicia shows up again. I want to see if we can rules lawyer her into coming back to the mansion, where we can troll/attempt to convert to a good alignment at our leisure.

Warn her of the surprise fingernail attack.

(As I'm starting to get really damn tired, the thread will end soon for tonight. I will continue it tomorrow afternoon. The Code Word, by the way, is "OONST OONST OONST." If one of you say it when I continue this quest, you will gain a special bonus event.)

You ask Jehanne about her plan. She shakes her head. "There is not much to be said," she admits. "Lady Asmoday's tower is guarded by three demons. The first, The Mawler, is a demon of gluttony. It devours all in its path and swallows them whole. The second, the Nightmare, is a demon of Sloth. It puts men to sleep and haunts their nightmares. Finally comes the demon of Wrath, the Slayer. I don't think I need to say more about that one."

"Wouldn't it make more sense to have all three of them together, instead of one after the other?" you ask.

"You're not a demon or an adventurer, are you? There are rules about these sorts of things," Jehanne says.

You are reminded of things like "CR" and "Encounter Budgets," and say no more.

>>9056688

You have to get out of Hell first.

>>9056739
ask her if there is a way to contact the material plane. If so. Contact Reginald.

>>9056739
Ask if she's adverse to cheating and just going up the outside of the tower.

>>9056739
Go to sleep broseph, you deserve it.

Congratulations on a wildly successful quest.

>>9056739

"So, what kind of a world are you from? Not Forgotten Realms shit, I hope?"

>>9056739
When this ends though, when will it come back? I must be there.

This was the best quest I've seen in a very long time, Goshu. Can't wait for the next installment.

What time tomorrow afternoon?

Post this in the next one, OP, so people know what's come before:
Part 1: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9047710/
Part 2: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9050315/
Part 3: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9052773/
Part 4: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9054492/
Part 5: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9055966/

>>9056773
>>9056770
>>9056769

"Forgotten Realms? How can I be from a realm if it was forgotten? My land is called Pirithia, on the Shining Seas of blah blah blah" obviously some guy's homebrew setting or something. You tone her out as she continues on about the minutiae of a setting, the kind of stuff that a DM usually puts in a 20 page player info packet that no one ever reads.

As you continue through hell, you finally find yourself approaching the Tower of LUST, the inner sanctum of Lady Asmoday, the Demon Princess of Lust.

And yes, it looks like a giant brass dildo sticking out of the ground.

"We must prepare ourselves for battle," Jehanne says. "For her tower is filled with monsters and demons. Cutting them down will be. . ."

"Can't we just go up the outside?" you ask.

"What?"

"Up the outside? You know, avoid all the random encounters."

Jehane scratches her chin. "I suppose we might as well, at that," she admits.

"I guess you're not much of a gamer," you point out.

Jehanne shrugs. She is pointedly not looking at your naked body, by the way, and there is color rising in her cheeks.

>>9056841
Cover thyself, act shy and pensive.

>>9056841
At her color, AROUSED IMMEDIATELY

>>9056841
Hang on.

Maybe we should go through.

We DO need the exp.

>>9056800
>>9056772
This is probably the most awesome thing I have seen on the internet in memory. Thank you, Goshujin-sama~!

AND we will end the thread here, with you and Jehane about to ascend the Tower of Lust to fight Alicia and slay her for being a bitch. And slaying you. And shit like that.

As for when this will continue. . . that depends. I will aim for tomorrow afternoonish, around 5 or 6 PST, perhaps before that if possible.

Until then. . . EXCELSIOR! And other gay nerdy shit.

>>9056841
????????

>>9056841

Look at phallic tower. Resist urge to fap.

We'll sneak ahead of her toward the edge of the tower to see if there are any baddies guarding the outside. If not, we'll wave for her to follow us.

>>9056841
What's our xp run under anyway? oWoD? Shadowrun? Unknown Armies?

We've only got 20 xp. If this is DnD...We're boned.

>>9056841
"We should prepare ourselves. Climbing to the top of this tower will be LONG and HARD. We better pace ourselves or we will get all sweaty and exhausted before the real action starts."

>>9056841

Act innocent and unknowing. Rush to in front of her.

"Are you alright? You look a little flushed! Are you injured?"

While we do this, hold her arm reassuringly and try to take her temperature by feeling her forehead.

>>9056841

i liek where this is going... do we get to see battle before you sleep?

"is- is there anything i can do to help once we're inside?"

If only there were h games like this ;~;

Go to sleep man. you deserve it.

>>9056881

Ah, well good job then man. I've run a few marathon games and I know that near the end things get difficult, so good show keeping up for so long. Despite what sagefags may think, it's good Quests like this one which keep /tg/ alive.

Thanks man, I hope to be here soon after you begin tomorrow.

>>9056881
Am I the only one who likes the idea of enslaving her with the binding terms of the legal contract she signed to work for you, if she's one of the crazy lawful demons? It has a certain elegance to it. And a level of exploitable cruelty to make her regret ever killing you.

>>9056958
Dude, I'm pumping for that with a side of "Fuck you until you're lawful good, bitch!" on the side.

>>9056958
It'll either be the demon or the paladin and maybe its the JUSTICE in me but I think the Paladin girl is hotter.

>>9056958
I also want our catgirl back. I think she didn't have much choice when she attacked us.

>>9057020
we vaporized her. I don't think she's coming back.

>>9057017
Well, sure, if we have to choose, paladin's better.

But damn it, if we're busting out of Hell, we might as well try for both while we're at it.

>>9057017
I bet the paladin might be mightily amused by enslaving a greater demon. Just a bit. Make sure you don't go out of the terms outlined though, otherwise ALicia's going to rip and tear into you, unless you've converted her alignment enough by then.

>>9057047
Maybe she went to hell?

>>9057068
did she sign a contract even or is it just an at will "Here's your mop and here's your bucket" kinda deal.

>>9057093
I think she came from hell, and outsiders don't get to come back.

>>9057138
No idea, I just like the thought of having a cute catgirl around.

>>9057158

Nyuu?

>>9057134
For a formal maid position, in a house of such great history and cultural significance as ours? I bet there was a contract.

Next time suggest that we replace one of our arms with one from one of the demon lords after slaying them.

>>9057175

>>9057175
Not THAT stupid, please.

>>9057194

What, one of the arms of a lust demon?

HORSE COCK ARM, HERE WE COME.

>>9057214
On second thought, let's not.

>>9057212
I don't get it. What anime is this chick from? I'm going to infer she's dumb like a rock, but might be worth a skim on an insomniac night sometime.

Our ancestor was a wizard!? We have the potential for magic and must start studying magic at once, once we return!

>>9057214
>implying all the demons are lust demons
>having had also mentioned gluttony, sloth, and a third that kills things a lot

>>9057289

Yes, but we're in front of a lust demon's tower. And after that we're going home. No other real opportunities I'm afraid.

I don't want to try amateur bionics here people.

>>9057303
We're going to have to fight and slay the three anyway, might as well hack off a arm and take it back with us.

>>9057367
this quest is thinly veiled fap fiction and poorly written at that.

>>9060893
U mad.