Holy shit you're alive?

>>9089313

Current status seems to be ALIVE.

do 100 push-ups, run 5km then go for bike ride, patty

>>9089321

COMMAND: Tell story to /tg/.

> You are vaguely aware that it is FRIDAY and you are now SOBER.

Well one of these needs to be fixed.

Turn it up to SATURDAY.

Post genitals on /tg/

>>9089334

Unfortunately, /tg/ seems more interested with SOME FAGGY QUEST THREAD then STORYTIME. The only recourse is to CURSE NEWFAGS and find another activity.

>>9089356

Tell awesome story anyway.

That is, if you're the REAL WW.

>>9089356

Drink heavily.

>>9089363

Or post genitals

>>9089345

BALLS successfully POSTED in other thread.

Laughing as you realize more people will see your GENITALIA you realize that you are supposed to GM a GAME of DARK HERESY later today.

>>9089308
>sober

figures, I hoped you were the real WW

>>9089381

Prepare BBEG.

>>9089381

Take new pictures of genitals

Post on /tg/

>>9089370

The bottle of FORTIFIED WINE is empty front the NIGHT before. You will need to go look for SUPPLIES.

>>9089393
see
>>9089367

brassy balls lol

Sober on Friday eh? lets get that fixed.

>>9089381
Say, "Fuck It", down more booze, and wing the game when it happens. We're pro at ad-hocking, right?

>>9089387

BBEG has already been PREPARED. Unfortunately it is already SOME TIME IN THE AFTERNOON, and the game is SOMETIME IN THE EVENING.

>>9089401

Attempt to stick dick into wine bottle

Post pictures of the process

Also, fuck quests, storytime is better.

>>9089401

Look for supplies. If booze is found, drink, if there is no booze, look for more supplies.

>>9089401
Get up and find more alcohol, then drink more and think about penut butter.

>>9089422

Make another THREAD detailing your BBEG.

>>9089356
STORY! SWOOP WANT HEAR STORY!

You stumble over to SUPPLY SHELF. It contains GUN, KNIFE, DH BOOKS, BOURBON, AMMUNITION and MORE AMMUNITION.

With nothing better to do. Open fire at the California border.

>>9089460

Place AMMUNITION in GUN and SHOOT BOURBON.

rolled 15 = 15

>>9089460
Gather gun, ammo, and more ammo.

Head outside and roll a track check to find my mortal enemy.

>>9089460
>TURN ON LIGHTS
Jesus fuck, do you live in a cave?

>>9089474

GUN ACQUIRED

>>9089485

SHOOT dogs.

>>9089473

Invalid command: BOURBON is our ONLY FRIEND.

>>9089485

Door looks suspicious

Shoot it

>>9089485

Stare down the barrel. Check if it's loaded.

>>9089491
take shots at people

>>9089491

No DOGS are visible in WW'S ROOM.

Use precognitive senses to figure out if there are any other living creatures within 30 feet.

>>9089460
>junk
>junk
>junk
>DELICIOUS ALCOHOL
>who cares?

need I say more?

MASTURBATE to GUN

>>9089509

DRAW DOG.

SHOOT DOG.

>>9089513

Attempts to use MIND POWERS unsuccessful as current state is SOBER.

>>9089513
>Uncle WW shoots a bird, bullet later hits and kills a child.

HEY GUYS, IT'S TIME FOR WW'S STORY TIME FROM PRISON!

THREATEN children. FIND boyfriend.

>>9089538
Better fix that quick. ACQUIRE Bourbon. DRINK Bourbon.

>>9089552

Error:

BOURBON not CAPITALIZED.

>>9089547

BOYFRIEND out of TOWN. NO CHILDREN present.

>>9089538
fuck WW, get drunk now! what? you want me to go down there and force feed you homemade mezcal? cause I have a fresh batch rigth here whit your name on it.

>>9089563

DRINK.

HEAVILY.

>>9089552

BOURBON consumed, MIND POWERS AND CONFIDENCE RESTORED.

>>9089563
ONLY ONE OPTION REMAINS.

DRINK.

MARCH FORWARD you fuck!

Lament

>>9089563
Find ALCOHOL. Get DRUNK. Go to COMPUTER, go to 4CHAN, go to TEE GEE, post STORY

>>9089580

You ARRIVE at FRONT DOOR.

>>9089328
you don't want to do morning exercise, patty?

>>9089575
Mind crush nearest organic.

>>9089587
>Go to COMPUTER, go to 4CHAN, go to TEE GEE, post WW QUEST

fixed

>>9089592
Shut the fuck up and get the fuck out, you can only come back with a papal pardon you foul beast. : D

>>9089591

OPEN DOOR. Wait. Did we EQUIP CLOTHES?

>>9089594

SUSPECTED ORGANIC located OUTSIDE DOOR, you fire a burst through door, lowering the PROPERTY VALUE.

Current magazine status 25/30

>>9089612
Clothing is unimportant. We have GUN and AMMO.

>>9089612
we never TURNED ON LIGHTS, so it's too dark to tell.

>>9089620

SHOOT DOGS.

>>9089612

Door is now OPEN, dead bird LOCATED on front LAWN. Across THE street the NEIGHBOR'S window seems to have been SHOT OUT.

>>9089612
NO TIME WE MUST TAKE HASTE

>>9089620
Note to self that mind powers and gun powers seem to be converging. Spend time attempting to master this.

>>9089621
CLOTHING IS VERY IMPORTANT

>>9089639

You sweep the block and see SMALL DOG, you fire a burst, and SMALL DOG is no longer functional.

Current Magazine status 20/30

>>9089657
like you'd know...

FAPPE TIEM

>>9089645
Ohgodohgod, ERRECT A BARRICADE IN HOUSE, PREPARE FOR POLICE CONFONTATION!

>>9089669
GET Dog. Return to house.

>>9089675

NO TIME to deal with POLICE, have to GM DARK HERESY and FLEE THE SCENE OF THE CRIME.

>>9089692

You walk outside, but the ground is MUCH TOO HOT for BARE FEET.

>>9089669
Prepare for Police assault on your residence.

A WEREWOLF POLICE ASSAULT

>>9089671
Shush you, I have a thing going...

this is the only quest thread that has ever been good, ever.

>>9089703

Turn FEET into BEARS

>>9089718
>>9089707
Become WEREBEAR, repel WEREPOLICE.

Use mind powers to float over the ground.

>>9089710
This isn't even that good, you just have poor taste. The only good thing about it is ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL of WW, kinda.

>>9089703
BACK INSIDE and MAKE LAST STAND AGAINST POLICE!

>>9089718

MIND POWERS limited to FIRING RIFLE at POTENTIALLY IMAGINARY TARGETS. More ALCOHOL must be INGESTED for ACQUISITION OF NEW POWERS.

>>9089710

inb4 WW becomes a vampire or some kind of diety

>>9089742

You walk back inside and notice COWBOY BOOTS sitting near the DOOR.

>>9089747
Return inside. Find and wear shoes. Think of best transportation method to get to booze shop.

DANCE.

>>9089747
Drink all the ALCOHOL

>>9089772

Only transportation available is SHITTY 96 SUNFIRE.

>>9089742
oh, yeah, and maidquest xxiii is way better. fuck off.

>>9089770
PUT ON SHOES, walk outside and FIRE EVERYTHING!

>>9089770
Get complemented by MY MOTHER

>>9089778

SKIN STATUS: WHITE, DANCING NOT ADVISED.

Find keys to sunfire. Get in. Drive.

>>9089785
no mountain bike?

>>9089786

Oh r'lyeh?

>>9089786
I didn't say every quest is great, assfuck, but there are better ones then this, even if it's a drunk WW.

Also, suck my cock.

WEARING BOOTS, use available MATERIALS to put up a BARRICADE. The POLICE are coming, and we must be ready for our LAST STAND!

>>9089793

You walk outside and EMPTY THE MAGAZINE INDISCRIMINATELY.

Current magazine status: 0/30

You see SHITTY 96 SUNFIRE.

>>9089851
>hurr durr let's make the thread better by insulting each other.
you are a massive faggot. I do not take back my "fuck off".
WW, I apologize for the sage.

>>9089854
Break in.

>>9089854
Does it appear to be in drivable condition, despite bullet holes in it?

>>9089854

Take a SHIT in the AIR FILTER

>>9089871

As you move to break into your UNLOCKED CAR you are confronted by HOT NEIGHBOR, she seems to be SAYING something about HOW IT IS INAPPROPRIATE to FIRE INDISCRIMINATELY in the middle of THE neighborhod. For some reason you are distracted.

>>9089901

Initiate RAPE mode

>>9089901

Question self as to why I am using stock internet photos and not posting actual pictures of HOT NEIGHBOR.

>>9089882

You attempt to LOOK at SHITTY 96 SUNFIRE but something has DISTRACTED YOU.

>>9089901
BREAK INTO HER

>>9089901
REBUKE her for your GIRLFRIEND

>>9089920

HOT NEIGHBOR is not VIETNAMESE PEASANT, rape wILL not work.

>>9089921

REAL HOT NEIGHBOR IS UNAVAILABLE FOR PRE QUEST PREPERATION.

Question, quite honestly, how in the world my car got into her bedroom.

get ye flask

>>9089948

TIME SPACE CONTINUUM altered by ALCOHOL INTAKE.

Vomit.

>>9089959
Pour alcohol in car tank.

>>9089963

VOMIT.

>>9089963

DELICIOUS CLEAVAGE is now covered in VOMIT. HOT NEIGHBOR screams and runs inside. The DISTRACTION is gone. Car appears to BE functional.

>>9089946

> HOT NEIGHBOR is not VIETNAMESE PEASANT, rape wILL not work.


Initiate.. CONSENSUAL INTERCOURSE MODE

Get her into the car. With bed, if possible.

>>9089995

Find your VOMIT. EAT.

>>9089995
Wonderful... I think.

Get in and drive. Any direction will do, as long as there seems to be road and/or bedroom.

>>9089998

INSUFFICIENT levels of CHARMING PERSONALITY, she will have to be INDUCED into CONSUMING ALCOHOL.

Follow the distraction!

>>9090012
Drive your car to space.

>>9090010

As you DRIVE you see this, what do?

>>9090028

Load GUN.

ROB.

>>9090028
CRY tears of JOY

then DRIVE through the DRIVE THROUGH to get BOOZE

>>9090037

You load a FRESH MAGAZINE into RIFLE.

Current magazine status: 30/30

You enter the liquor store. CLERK APPEARS, he is BRANDISHING A MOP.

Mind crush some more organics. They must be purged. (Wonder to self if brain may have been taken over by aliens).

>>9090064

Shout: "YOU'RE UNDER ARREST, CRIMINAL SCUM!"

CONVERT MOP into new HAT.

COUNT REMAINING MAGAZINES

>>9090082

CLERK has been designated CRIMINAL SCUM. CRIMINAL SCUM runs to CAR and ATTEMPTS ESCAPE.

>>9090104

5 MAGAZINES REMAIN

>>9090107
DRUNKEN CAR CHASE.

>>9090132

CRIMINAL SCUM is attempting to escape in YOUR SHITTY 96 SUNFIRE, and you are of the notion that WALKING and PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION are for QUEERS and COMMUNISTS.

>>9090153
MIND CRUSH ORGANIC
REMOVE HIS BRAINMEATS WITH FORCE

>>9090153

MIND BEND him to STOP.

>>9090175

MIND CRUSHING POWERS USED, and 5 MIND POINTS were EXPENDED. CRIMINAL SCUM has been killed due to JACKETED HOLLOWPOINT MIND BULLETS.

Current Mind point holder status: 25/30 mind bullets.

rolled 12 + 2 = 14

GRAPPLE CHECK

>>9090213

EAT BRAIN to replenish MIND BULLETS.

>>9090213

Insert PENIS into HOLES

>>9090223

You have successfully GRAPPLED your GENITALS. But there is NO TIME to MASTURBATE, you have a LIQUOR STORE to rob.

>>9090213
Put body in bag of holding along with dog from earlier (if not possible, delude self it is). Return to store, acquire booze.

>>9090243
CLAIM LIQUOR STORE.

>>9090229

CONSUMING BRAIN has not replenished MIND BULLET SUPPLY, but has given you KNOWLEDGE of HOW TO ROB LIQUOR STORE. It seems that WITHOUT CLERK the store is DEFENSELESS.

>>9090233

Illegal command: Skull fucking requires ERECTION.

could order man around, shooting one another would be pretty high on list, eh?

>>9090264

Use MIND CRUSH to gain ERECTION.

RAPE ALCOHOL.

>>9090264
We don't have an erection after grappling with our genitals?

Make mental note to have that looked at later.

>>9090264
Turn STORE into personal CASTLE

>>9090273

Attempting MIND CRUSH with MIND CRUSH DEVICE on GENITALS has SINGED GENITALS. ERECTION now HARD TO ACCOMPLISH.

Illegal command: cannot rape alcohol, alcohol is always willing because it is our ONLY FRIEND.

>>9090315

GATHER FRIENDS.

>>9090313

STORE is now WW'S FORT. DH GAME will have to be relocated, by FORCE if necessary.

>>9090315
ACQUIRE BOOZE. Mind crush the organic out of our beautiful chariot.

>>9090324

FRIENDS are LOCATED on other SIDE of town, we will need something to MAKE THE RIDE more enjoyable.

FORTIFY BOOZE with BOOZE

>>9090328
Inform PLAYERS that they must pay a toll to enter WWORLD

>>9090348

PLAYERS are SHOUTED AT, but don't respond. It seems your voice DOES NOT CARRY that far.

>>9090340

NO.

I MEAN.

GATHER 'ONLY FRIENDS'.

>>9090340

Drink all ENERGY DRINKS located in WW'S FORT

>>9090367

ENERGY DRINKS must be COMBINED with JAGERMEISTER before consumption.

>>9090365
ACQUIRE NEW MIND POWERS

>>9090386
Sounds like a plan to me. COMBINE ENERGY DRINK with YAGER and DRINK COMBINATION.

>>9090386
>>9090365
COMBINE ENERGY DRINKS and JAGERMEISTER

STEAL SKYWRITING PLANE

>>9090396

JAGER BOMBS created AND consumed.

NEW MIND POWER GAINED: PEE IN AREAS THAT ARE NOT BATHROOMS.

>>9090412

SKYWRITING PLANES are located at AIRPORT.

>>9090438
DEVISE TRAP to defend WWORLD

Drive to AIRPORT in your SUNFIRE

>>9090423
Excercise new power liberally.

Get back in sunfire and DRIVE.

END QUEST.

>>9090447

You set a cunning trap by SETTING WWORLD on fire, now it is NINJA PROOF.

You once again are DRIVING IN YOUR SHITTY 96 SUNFIRE.

>>9090468
Arrive at AIRPORT; steal SKYWRITING PLANE

>>9090468
Drive to FRIENDS. Deliver BOOZE and MIND BULLETS.

>>9090468

HEAdING to the AIRPORT, you are STOPPED by TRAFFIC. Someone's car has STALLED. You suspect HOMOSEXUAL, COMMUNIST or DEMOCRAT influence, this could be a TRAP.

>>9090498

FORGOT PIC

>>9090498
TRAP?
CHECK for PENIS

>>9090498
COMMUNIST DEMOCRAT ORGANICS?

Mind crush them. Ninja proof their car. Democrat-proof their car as well.

>>9090510

THIS seems to be the BAD KIND OF TRAP, the kind without DELICIOUS, TOTALLY NOT GAY BUTTSEX.

>>9090498
>>9090508

Make sure it is not a SEXY TRAP

Do this with MIND BULLETS and BOOZE

...somehow

DRINK more BOOZE to pass the time.

>>9090522
Get LAUGHED AT by VARITY

Get the the NOT SEXY BOTTOM of this NOT SEXY TRAP

>>9090515

HOMOSEXUAL COMMUNIST DEMOCRATS claim to have CAR TROUBLE, sensing that they are obviously lying, you MIND CRUSH a burst at their car, successfully REMOVING THEIR CAPACITY TO HINDER you further.

>>9090548
But is it ninja and homosexual proof? CHECK TO BE SURE.

>>9090538

BOURBON consumption INCREASED.

NEW MIND POWER: BECOME ANGRY AT TRIVIAL HINDERANCES.

>>9090548

Magazine status 20/30 5.56 jacketed hollowpoint mind bullets

BUTTSECKS the HOMOSEXUAL

>>9090566

The car is now ON FIRE and CANNOT TRICK ME into BEING GAY or VOTING DEMOCRAT.

USE PREVIOUSLY ACQUIRED MIND POWER
URINATE on CAR

>>9090588

CAR is now SLIGHTLY LESS NINJA PROOF and smells of URINE.

>>9090586
Excellent. Resume driving to airport. Or to friends. Or friends at the airport.

>>9090586
>>9090588
Put out FIRE with URINE, show the HOMOSEXUAL COMMUNIST DEMOCRAT your INFINITE DRUNKEN MERCY

Acquire 1x MINION

>>9090600

CONFLICTING COMMANDS have made you CONFUSED.

CONFUSION leads to NEW OBJECTIVE: BLOW OFF FRIENDS AND GO TO GIRLY BAR.

>>9090604

MINION AQUIRED, MINION refuses to go quietly, so you are forced to STORE HIM in the LEARNING CHAMBER, also known as SHITTY 96 SUNFIRE's trunk.

>>9090609

SUB OBJECTIVE: ANTAGONIZE GNOLLBARD

FEEL BAD ABOUT HOMEBREW POST APOC GAME THAT HAD PROMISE IF A ROCKY START, AND ENDED ALL TOO SOON.

PROMISE TO MYSELF THAT IT WILL START AGAIN, SOON!

>>9090644
PROPOSE to YOURSELF to do it with SKYWRITING PLANE

>>9090609
HE HURT HIMSELF IN THE CONFUSION

Where did we put the dead body of the clerk?

>>9090656

BLAME FATHER'S crazy EX, who is now subject to RESTRAINING ORDER.

>>9090670
GO "OH SHIT" AND BACK AWAY

>>9090667

CLERK's BODY has become TROPHY OF VALOR and has been DUCT TAPED to HOOD of SHITTY 96 SUNFIRE.

>>9090662

MIND FUNCTIONS TEMPORARILY RESTORED.

Objective: STEAL SKYWRITING PLANE to ANTAGONIZE GNOLLBARD

>>9090743

ILLEGAL COMMAND: SKYWRITING PLANE has not been ACQUIRED.

>>9090755
MYSTERIOUS STRANGER has read your THOUGHTS

>>9090689
KILL that BLASTED REED RICHARDS

>>9090767

MIND CONTROL attempt DETECTED, COMMUNIST/HOMOSEXUAL conspiracy detected.

>>9090769

REED RICHARD'S location is UNKNOWN as you haven't read FANTASTIC FOUR in years. Perhaps a LOCAL comic book DISTRIBUTOR will know his location.

>>9090809
DRIVE to COMIC BOOK STORE. READ COMIC BOOKS to acquire ESOTERIC KNOWLEDGE.

>>9090809

ADDENDUM: /CO/ may know the LOCATION of REED RICHARDS

>>9090856
WW must inquire /CO/ as to the location of MR.FANTASTIC

>>9090848

You arrive at COMIC BOOK STORE, COMICS appear to be made of WORDS, which are INDECIPHERABLE due to CURRENT BLOOD ALCOHOL LEVEL.

>>9090873

You remember that your SHITTY LAPTOP is back at HOME.

>>9090900
recruit a translator

>>9090917

You recruit COMIC BOOK STORE CLERK. CLERK seems to be FRIGHTENED by your RIFLE.

>>9090926
LOUDLY ILLUSTRATE that he has nothing to fear.

Using your RIFLE.

Pass out.

>>9091082

COMIC CLERK has been PACIFIED, He claims that RICHARDS lives in NEW YORK

>>9091302
Since the last command was "pass out", we are now vivid dreaming.

Put on the Lion King slippers and fly to New York.

>>9091362

WW is incapable of dreaming, only NIGHT TERRORS.

>>9091236

Illegal command: WORK TO BE DONE

>>9091362
And ANTAGONIZE GNOLLBARD on the way.

>>9091381
to the air port then, besure to take our translator with us as we dont speak newyorker

Yes, place the translator in the learning chamber.

Test the Lion King Slippers anyways. See if they just happen to work.

>>9091407

TRANslaTOR has been CONSCRIPTED into GLORIOUS PEOPLE'S REBELLION.

We can STEAL a SKYWRITING PLANE and KILL TWO BIRDS with ONE STONE as STONES ARE IN SHORT SUPPLY and BIRDS ARE EVERYWHERE.

>>9091437

HOMOSEXUAL COMMUNIST SPY has been transformed to WEEPING CAPTIVE due to TIME IN LEARNING CHAMBER, COMIC BOOK CLERK does NOT FIT IN learning CHAMBER.

try to kill 3 birds with 1 stone

>>9091488

THERE are no STONES available.

Let's go to the mall and insult people who like Hank Williams.

>>9091501

ILLEGAL COMMAND: HERESY

>>9091521
Fine, let's GO to the MALL and PRETEND to be HANK WILLIAMS.

>>9091541

Hank Williams is DEAD, TROPHY OF VALOUR is ALSO DEAD.

DRUNK POWER: RAISE DEAD AQUIRED

TROPHY OF VALOR has been TRANSFORMED into HANK WILLIAMS, he wants to STAY ON THE HOOD of the CAR.

>>9091565
I... have no idea. Ask him to sing? Ask him to sing that song Johnny Cash wrote that he did.

>>9091658

HANK WILLIAMS is a ZOMBIE and cannot sing.

>>9091565
Drunk drive the skywriting plane.
Write
"fuck you gnollbard" in the sky.
Then pee on the world!

>>9091684

You have ARRIVED at airport. AIRPORT SECURITY is SUPRISINGLY LAX. The SKYWRITING PLANE only SEATS 2. Should we bring REFORMED COMMUSEXUAL or TRANSLATOR?

>>9091708
HANK WILLIAMS

>>9091748

HANK WILLIAMS is now CO PILOT HANK WILLIAMS. TRANSLATOR and REFORMED COMMUSEXUAL are begging to be LET GO? Should they be RELEASED or RELEASED FROM THEIR MORTAL COILS?

>>9091708
>>9091762
Show them WW's INFINITE MERCY, thereby spreading your HOLY WORD across the land!

>>9091779

REFORMED COMMUSEXUAL and TRANSLATOR are shown INFINITE MERCY in their KNEE CAPS.

Current magazine status: 20/30 rounds.

You start up the skywriting plane, and with the assistance of CO PILOT HANK WILLIAMS you take off. WHAT do you WRITE?

>>9091779
Second.

>>9091832
GODAMNIT GNOLLBARD!

>>9091832
"GNOLLBARD MASTICATES MALE GENITALIA."

>>9091832
Write "SUCK IT, GNOLLBARD" including the comma.

>>9091852

You write GODDAMNIT GNOLLBARD into the air, thus admonishing him for NOT WATCHING SLINGBLADE.

Objective complete: Antagonize Gnollbard.

OBJECTIVE REMAINING: KILL REED RICHARDS.

>>9091870
FLY to NEW YORK

>>9091870
Let's write 'BALLS TOUCHED' now.

>>9091920

Several HOURS pass by as you FLY TO NEW YORK, you pass the time by CONSUMING ALCOHOL and SING A LONGS with CO PILOT HANK WILLIAMS.

You see the BAXTER BUILDING, home of REED RICHARDS. HE is staring out the WINDOW AT YOU. You have DOUBLE VISION and it APPEARS there are 2 BAXTER BUILDINGS, which one is the REAL ONE?

>>9091992
You said he couldn't sing.

The real one is the one that makes a noise when we crash into it.

>>9091992

Who cares, destroy both.

>>9092000

QUEST SUCCESSFUL

>>9092013

We still got the pentagon to destroy. Only half done bro.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DARK HERESY GAME?

Come on dude, I just got here. Time to ride the Night Train to Langley.

You made me think there was a Dark Heresy game tonight! That was just mean.

>>9092082
Dark Heresy game soon, fellow Sister.

>>9092173
I wish. But Wasteland's real Dark Heresy game isn't for another week.

OP, I take issue with your post. How can it be it both be friday and I be sober? You have created a paradox. sober is for ... uhm ... never.

>>9092173
I don't understand this image macro.

>>9092324
go to youtube and look up STALKER and blowout.

...

>>9089460

Damnit Wasteland, I do the SAME thing for my vertical fan. Hats on the LED so it isn't some godawful BEACON when left on overnight.

>>9093692

HA JOKES ON YOU, that's a t shirt on the corner of my tv. I need to do laundry.

>>9093759

Hey Warrior that was unaided eye without photoshop foolery spotting.

Failed miserably, however. :_: