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  • File : 1271755459.jpg-(24 KB, 639x281, Emergency_quest.jpg)
    24 KB Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:24 No.9309936  
    YOU ARE A SOMETHING. FUCK I DUNNO MAKE SOMETHING UP.
    SUDDENLY YOU HAVE THE DESIRE TO DO SOMETHING (FUCK I DUNNO) FOR SOME REASON.
    AND WHATEVER IT IS, YOU NEED TO START ON IT IMMEDIATELY.

    WHAT DO?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:25 No.9309954
    I do something.

    Also I go north.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:25 No.9309959
    Um... I'M A COLLEGE STUDENT WHO HAS TO GET HIS ASS OUT OF BED TO GET TO CLASS!
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:26 No.9309964
    -Pick up rock

    -Eat it.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:26 No.9309967
    NORTH WE GO THEN

    TO COLLEGE

    WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE I LIVE SOUTH OF CAMPUS

    GET OUT OF HERE STALKERS
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:26 No.9309968
    I start a quest thread on /tg/.
    >> Sergeant Major Alexandros III !PhseAMrpPY 04/20/10(Tue)05:27 No.9309976
    >>9309959

    What a coincidence.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:27 No.9309981
    >>9309954
    UNFORTUNATELY, THERE WAS A WALL TO YOUR NORTH. YOU DO NOT PROGRESS VERY FAR.
    BUT I APPLAUD YOU FOR YOUR IMMEDIATE ACTION.

    >>9309959
    YOU ARE A COLLEGE STUDENT. YOU ARE CURRENTLY FACE TO FACE WITH A WALL TO YOUR NORTH, AFTER HAVING GOTTEN OUT OF BED AND WALKING INTO A WALL.

    >>9309964
    THE ROCK WAS DELICIOUS AND NUTRITIONAL. YOU ARE NOW A GORON UNIVERSITY STUDENT.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:28 No.9309987
    Panic and set my roommate that has to get up for class right about now on fire
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:28 No.9309988
    I search for an axe that will tell me which way is east and which way is west.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:28 No.9309994
    >>9309967
    OBVIOUSLY IF YOU ARE SOUTH OF CAMPUS, GOING NORTH IS A GOOD IDEA. BUT THERE IS A WALL IN YOUR WAY.
    >>9309968
    NOTICING THAT STARING AT A WALL IS GETTING YOU NOWHERE, PROCRASTINATING SEEMS LIKE A SUPERIOR OPTION.
    YOU LOG ONTO THE INTERNET AND MAKE A QUEST THREAD.

    YOU ARE NOW A GORON COLLEGE STUDENT WHO TROLLS /tg/.
    WHAT DO?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:29 No.9310000
    Im in a massive hurry shit, i leap through the window and check my pockets
    >> 40Kfag from /m/ !!t8iiyj3DIqR 04/20/10(Tue)05:30 No.9310003
    I go to another board for a change.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:30 No.9310009
    >>9309994
    Um... COMPLAIN ABOUT 4E!
    AND EAT A ROCK!
    And hope we didn't have a test today!
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:30 No.9310011
         File1271755839.jpg-(66 KB, 402x728, e2ba8910c07b139cbdd60fe9dc86da(...).jpg)
    66 KB
    I am a women trapped in a mans body.
    Suddenly i want hot dickings.
    I have a collar does anyone have a leash?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:30 No.9310012
    >>9309994
    I go to the bathroom to see what I shit because I have always wondered what Gorons shit.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:31 No.9310020
    >>9309987
    YOUR ROOMMATE, BEING A GORON, IS QUITE RESISTANT TO FIRE. YOU DO NOT SUCCEED IN KILLING HIM. HOWEVER, HE HAS WOKEN UP.

    "Dude, why are you ... fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck I'm late for class again, we gotta get moving"
    "Oh fuck I walked into a wall"
    "Maan I'm never gonna get to class at this rate."

    >>9309988
    YOU SEARCH FOR AN AXE. NONE ARE IMMEDIATELY NEARBY.
    DO YOU WISH TO SEARCH NORTH OR SOU...
    WAIT NEVER MIND. FUCK IT. YOU DON'T FIND AN AXE.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:31 No.9310021
    >>9310011
    but you have a leash
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:31 No.9310027
    I am disappointed in /tg/ for all these shitty quest threads.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:32 No.9310031
    >>9310020

    if this is an emergency we better act QUICKLY in EMERGENCY QUEST.

    I LEAP THROUGH THE WINDOW WHILE CHECKING MY POCKETS, FASTER FUCKING DAMNIT
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:32 No.9310036
         File1271755951.jpg-(26 KB, 301x450, nixonvisitsaustriatoday.jpg)
    26 KB
    I do not accept the obstruction before me:

    Mr. Goron Trollege Student, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:32 No.9310037
    >>9310031
    DON'T FORGET YOUR BAG!
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:32 No.9310038
    >YOU SEARCH FOR AN AXE. NONE ARE IMMEDIATELY NEARBY.
    >DO YOU WISH TO SEARCH NORTH OR SOU...
    >WAIT NEVER MIND. FUCK IT. YOU DON'T FIND AN AXE.
    This is turning into the best quest thread ever
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:32 No.9310040
    >>9310020
    If I don't find an axe, can I at least find my trusty red crowbar?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:33 No.9310045
    >>9309871
    >>9309936
    Samefag, report and move on.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:33 No.9310047
    >>9310037
    OR YOUR BALLSACK
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:33 No.9310050
    >>9310040

    >crowbar

    BECOME GORON FREEMAN!
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:35 No.9310066
         File1271756136.jpg-(214 KB, 1229x922, coolstorybro.jpg)
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    >>9310021

    No just a collar it has a lock on it though!!
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:35 No.9310068
    >>9310000
    LEAPING THROUGH A WINDOW IS ALWAYS A GOOD OPTION. YOU JUMP-
    WAIT YOU ARE A GORON. YOU CANNOT DO THAT.
    SHIT. YOU'RE REALLY SUCKING AT GETTING TO CLASS.

    >>9310003
    YOU OPT TO TROLL ANOTHER BOARD. WHICH BOARD DO YOU OPT TO TROLL?

    >>9310009
    YOU EAT ANOTHER ROCK. IT WAS DELICIOUS.
    YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT 4E. FUCKING WOW EDITION.
    YOU ATTEMPT TO DISBELIEVE YOUR TEST. ROLL 1d100 TO SEE IF YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL, AND WHETHER YOU INVOKE THE PERILS OF THE WARP.

    >>9310011
    YOU ATTEMPT TO BECOME GENDER CONFUSED. UNFORTUNATELY YOU TROLL /tg/, NOT /a/, AND YOU ONLY SUCCEED IN BECOMING AN ORK IN A GORON'S BODY IN NEED OF A GOOD FIGHT.

    >>9310012
    YOU SHIT BRICKS.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:37 No.9310090
    >>9310027
    YOU NOTE THAT THE CURRENT QUEST THREADS LACK CHOPPY AND LACK DAKKA. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE FOR AN ORKGORON SUCH AS YOURSELF.

    >>9310036
    DOORS ARE MUCKIN' ABOUT. YOU TEAR THROUGH A WALL. YOUR ROOMATE NOTES:
    "Fuck yeah, that wall has gotten in my way for the LAST time!"
    HE BROFISTS YOU. YOU HAVE GAINED 1 BROFIST.

    >>9310037
    YOU GRAB YOUR BAG.

    >>9310040
    YOU GRAB YOUR CROWBAR.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:38 No.9310091
    >>9310068

    But i was not trolling :(

    Anyhoo i stick Dakka up my ass and start shooting. I will make my own hot dickings.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:39 No.9310097
    >>9310091
    YOU CURRENTLY HAVE NO DAKKA.
    YOU ARE ALSO AWARE THAT HOT DICKINGS ARE UNORKY.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:39 No.9310098
    >>9309936
    I start eating stuff and get even fatter.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:39 No.9310103
         File1271756373.jpg-(33 KB, 400x301, bro fist.jpg)
    33 KB
    >>9310090
    >GAINED 1 BROFIST
    YES. I equip it immediately and head towards campus through the newly breached wall, raising it above my head to inspire all who come within 12" of me.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:41 No.9310123
    >>9310097

    Then i head down the street looking for dakka and shit to blow the fuck up.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:42 No.9310130
    >>9310098
    YOU ARE CARRYING A CROWBAR. DO YOU WISH TO EAT THE CROWBAR, OR FIND SOMETHING ELSE? NOTE THAT EATING WHILE HOLDING A CROWBAR GRANTS A CONSIDERABLE PENALTY AS YOU ARE NOT PROFICIENT IN DOING SO.

    >>9310103
    YOU CELEBRATE BY RAISING A BROFIST AND YELLING A LOUD "WAAGH!". IT INSPIRES YOUR ROOMMATE TO FOLLOW YOU.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:42 No.9310136
    >>9310103
    >>9310130
    HOW THE FUCK DOES A BROFIST INSPIRE?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:42 No.9310137
    I invoke the ritual that will transform me into a 12 year old girl. Then I offer my womb to humanity.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:42 No.9310138
    >>9310123
    WHAT STREET?
    YOU ARE A GORON YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT STREETS IS.
    HOWEVER YOU DO INDEED KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR DAKKA. A NEARBY GEYSER SEEMS TO OFFER DAKKA, BUT IT ONLY SHOOTS WATER DROPLETS.
    WHAT DO?
    >> The Harlequin Rose 04/20/10(Tue)05:43 No.9310150
    Suddenly, you hear zombies everywhere. Whats that sound? I think it's a hunter..
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:44 No.9310152
    >>9310137
    YOU WHAT?
    FUCK YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A STREET IS, YOU DO NOT KNOW ANY RITUALS LIKE THAT. ALL ABOARD THE RAILROAD CHOO CHOO.

    >>9310136
    IT IS A BROFIST BEING MADE BY AN ORK TRAPPED IN A GORON'S BODY WHO JUST BROKE THROUGH A FUCKING WALL AND IS NOW WIELDING A CROWBAR.
    WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK. YOU MIGHTN'T KNOW HOW TO BECOME A LOLI BUT YOU SURE AS FUCK KNOW YOUR WAAGH.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:44 No.9310154
    >>9310130
    How burly/strong is my roomate compared to me? Does he have any ranged weapon? Or any form of weaponry at all?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:44 No.9310156
    >>9310138

    I attack the Geyser.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:44 No.9310160
    >>9310138
    1. Apply crowbar to geyser.
    2. Sit on top of geyser.
    3. Launch self to class.
    4. ???
    5. Profit!
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:44 No.9310162
    >>9310138
    CONQUER THE WATER FOR THE FORCES OF GOOD!
    AND YOU CAN AFFORD TO SKIP A DAY OF CLASS!

    And what's in the bag?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:45 No.9310169
    fuck you, I demand to be the little girl. Transform me immediately !
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:45 No.9310171
    >>9310150
    RRH.
    SUDDENLY ZOMBIE GORONS.
    A HUNTER POUNCES AT YOU.
    UNFORTUNATELY THE HUNTER IS A GORON. IT SUCCEEDS ONLY IN POUNCING ROUGHLY HALF A METER AS GORONS CANNOT JUMP.
    YOU LAUGH AT THE HUNTER.
    >> The Harlequin Rose 04/20/10(Tue)05:46 No.9310185
    >>9310171

    Holy fuck zombie gorons. Its like everybody is a tank and they are rolling after your ass.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:47 No.9310194
    >>9310185
    *readies crowbar* Batter up!
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:47 No.9310198
         File1271756870.gif-(139 KB, 200x150, trollanimooted.gif)
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    >>9310185
    Gortank used Rollout!
    >> The Harlequin Rose 04/20/10(Tue)05:49 No.9310208
    >>9310198

    Well fuck... Game over.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:49 No.9310212
    >>9310169
    Pedobear approves.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:50 No.9310222
    >>9310212
    LITTLE GIRLS - FUCK THem....erm YEAH
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:51 No.9310229
         File1271757079.jpg-(6 KB, 426x304, wat.jpg)
    6 KB
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:51 No.9310230
    >>9310169
    YOU RETCON YOUR TROLLING ON /tg/ TO INCLUDE VARIOUS INSULTS SLUNG AT VARIOUS POSTERS.
    THIS JUST IN: POSTER #9310196 IS A FAGGOT.
    NOW BACK TO OUR REGULAR QUEST.

    >>9310154
    YOUR ROOMMATE IS LESS BURLY THAN YOU. HE FORGOT HIS RANGED WEAPON IN THE HURRY OUT THE HOLEDOOR.

    >>9310156
    WAAGH! YOU PUNCH THAT GEYSER. IT HISSES AT YOU.

    >>9310160
    YOU HIT THE GEYSER WITH YOUR CROWBAR. FUCK THAT IS ONE STRONG CROWBAR. YOU HAVE SWUNG IT HUNDREDS OF TIMES AND IT NEVER DENTS. YOU CHIP AWAY AT THE GEYSER.

    >>9310160
    >>9310162
    YOU MAKE THE GEYSER POINT TOWARDS CLASS FOR THE SAKE OF THE GREATER GOOD.
    LAUNCHING.
    ...
    ...
    ...
    THE GEYSER PROPELS YOU AWAY FROM YOUR HOME AND TOWARDS YOUR CLASSROOM, BUT YOU ARE STILL ONLY 10% OF THE WAY THERE.

    >>9310162
    YOUR BAG CONTAINS A PEN.
    ...
    YES THAT IS IT.
    A PEN.
    BUT IT IS A VERY LARGE PEN. GORON SIZED IN FACT.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:52 No.9310238
    >>9310185
    >>9310194
    >>9310198
    >>9310208
    FLYING THROUGH THE AIR ON A GEYSER, YOU LAND ON TOP OF A GORTANK.
    WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH.
    YOUR SUPERIOR OBESITY FROM EATING ALL THE ROCKS SQUASHES IT FLAT.
    CONGRATULATIONS YOU KILLED A GORTANK.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:53 No.9310244
         File1271757185.gif-(482 KB, 288x162, 1271401190668.gif)
    482 KB
    best quest thread in a while
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:53 No.9310249
    >>9310212
    >>9310222
    YOU MAKE A MENTAL NOTE TO SEDUCE THE NEAREST LOLIGORON JUST AS SOON AS THIS WAVE OF ZOMBIES FINISHES.

    A SMOKER SHOOTS ITS TONGUE AT YOU. BUT GORONS DO NOT HAVE TONGUES. THE SMOKER SIMPLY COUGHS INEFFECTIVELY.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:53 No.9310250
    >>9310230
    FIND GORON SIZED PAPER
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:54 No.9310254
    This sure reminds me of HURRY THE FUCK UP QUEST.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:54 No.9310255
    >>9310250
    THE ENTIRE ROCKY GROUND IS YOUR GORON SIZED PAPER. AS A GORON YOU HAVE NO NEED TO CARRY PAPER.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:55 No.9310259
    >>9309936
    reminds me of any other quest thread cancer, kindly GTFO
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:55 No.9310261
    >>>9310156
    >WAAGH! YOU PUNCH THAT GEYSER. IT HISSES AT YOU.

    I decide it needs to shut up and i sit on it in an attempt to silence it.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:56 No.9310263
         File1271757360.png-(38 KB, 472x1224, falconpaunch.png)
    38 KB
    >>9310238
    JAWESOME

    We shall fashion a goron-sized buckler from its rocky hide, to supplement our crowbar and brofist, and a hat-or-possibly-helm from its defunct head.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:56 No.9310265
    >>9310261
    Can you say enema?
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:56 No.9310266
    >>9310261
    YOU DID THIS ONCE AND KILLED A GORTANK.
    DO YOU WISH TO DO THIS AGAIN OR WAS ONCE SUFFICIENT?
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:58 No.9310287
    >>9310263
    YOU FASHION A GORON SIZED BUCKLER.
    THIS GORON SIZED BUCKLER WAS MADE FROM A GORTANK'S HIDE.
    UNFORTUNATELY, MAKING A HAT FROM ITS HELM DOES NOT WORK AS THE HAT CANNOT FIT ON YOUR HEAD. BUMMER.

    Equipment:
    Crowbar
    Pen (in backpack)
    Buckler
    Backpack
    Body of a slightly obese goron
    Mind of an ork
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)05:59 No.9310294
    >>9310263
    Shit, we're a Goron... equip shield, do a barrel roll!

    Counts as a shield bash, yeah?
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)05:59 No.9310300
    >>9310287
    WHILE YOU WERE DOING THIS YOUR ROOMMATE HAS CAUGHT UP TO YOU AND IS WHINING ABOUT ZOMBIES.
    WHAT DO?
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)06:00 No.9310302
    >>9310266
    IF IT'S WORTH DOING ONCE
    IT'S WORTH DOING FOREVER
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:00 No.9310307
    >>9310294
    EXACTLY HOW MUCH ROLLING DO YOU WISH TO DO?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:01 No.9310313
    I am a women trapped in a mans body.
    Suddenly i want hot dickings.
    I have a collar does anyone have a leash?

    >YOU ATTEMPT TO BECOME GENDER CONFUSED. UNFORTUNATELY YOU TROLL /tg/, NOT /a/, AND YOU ONLY SUCCEED IN BECOMING AN ORK IN A GORON'S BODY IN NEED OF A GOOD FIGHT.

    But i was not trolling :(

    Anyhoo i stick Dakka up my ass and start shooting. I will make my own hot dickings.

    >YOU CURRENTLY HAVE NO DAKKA.
    YOU ARE ALSO AWARE THAT HOT DICKINGS ARE UNORKY.

    Then i head down the street looking for dakka and shit to blow the fuck up.

    >WHAT STREET?
    YOU ARE A GORON YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT STREETS IS.
    HOWEVER YOU DO INDEED KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR DAKKA. A NEARBY GEYSER SEEMS TO OFFER DAKKA, BUT IT ONLY SHOOTS WATER DROPLETS.
    WHAT DO?

    I attack the Geyser.

    >WAAGH! YOU PUNCH THAT GEYSER. IT HISSES AT YOU.

    I decide it needs to shut up and i sit on it in an attempt to silence it.

    >YOU DID THIS ONCE AND KILLED A GORTANK.
    DO YOU WISH TO DO THIS AGAIN OR WAS ONCE SUFFICIENT?

    I become confused by this response and remember when I was a simple tranny wanting someone to put a leash on her. I wonder out of the thread.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:01 No.9310316
    rolled 100 = 100

    >>9310302
    ROLLING TO SEE IF SOMETHING AWESOME HAPPENS
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:01 No.9310318
    >>9310307
    ALL OF IT.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:02 No.9310330
    >>9310316
    >>9310318
    OH SHIT NIGGER DID THE DM JUST ROLL 100 ON A d100 CHECK
    I BELIEVE HE DID.
    ARE YOU READY FOR AWESOME?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:04 No.9310345
    >>9310307
    A lot of rolling....I'mma crush that stupid classroom... in fact... TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:04 No.9310348
         File1271757884.png-(162 KB, 1120x461, omgeverypossiblereaction.png)
    162 KB
    >>9310316
    >>9310318
    >>9310330
    OH SHIT IT'S FUCKING ON NOW, CHAPS

    BRACE FOR SPACE-TIME BREAKING ROLLOUT
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:05 No.9310353
         File1271757926.jpg-(300 KB, 1064x1600, 1271226138570.jpg)
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    >>9310330
    BRACE FOR IMPACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:06 No.9310358
    inb4 thread belete
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:07 No.9310365
         File1271758033.gif-(1.84 MB, 482x344, omgbird.gif)
    1.84 MB
    >>9310316
    >rolled 100 = 100
    >100
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:07 No.9310371
         File1271758059.jpg-(17 KB, 400x343, 1270674280258.jpg)
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    >>9310358
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:08 No.9310375
         File1271758098.png-(17 KB, 379x214, no.png)
    17 KB
    >>9310358
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:08 No.9310378
         File1271758137.jpg-(31 KB, 502x363, 1270953069205.jpg)
    31 KB
    >>9310316
    >>9310330
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:09 No.9310381
    >>9310316
    ALL RIGHT. HERE'S WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS.
    YOU TURN TO YOUR GORON BRO. YOU SAY:
    "Dude, stay right here, and get ready to Brofist."
    FOR YOU HAVE A PLAN.

    YOU GET RIGHT THE FUCK BACK TO THAT GEYSER.
    YOU SIT ON THAT FUCKER.
    ZOMBIES ARE COMING IN FROM EVERY ANGLE. PATIENTLY YOU SIT ON THAT FUCKER.
    YOU SIT SO HARD, YOU BLOCK THE VERY EARTH ITSELF.
    ZOMBIES ARE ABOUT TO START EATING YOU.
    YOU ARE READY.

    THE EARTH'S MAGMA CORE BLASTS YOU OUT OF THE GEYSER AND PROPELS YOU INTO THE AIR FOR MILES.
    AFTER MINUTES OF FREEFALL, YOU LAND NEXT TO YOUR GORON BRO, WHO DELIVERS THE BIGGEST BROFIST HE POSSIBLY CAN TO YOU, JUST AS YOU LAND.
    HIS BROFIST FORMS A LAUNCH RAMP, TURNING ALL YOUR VERTICAL MOMENTUM INTO HORIZONTAL ONES.

    THE ENTIRE ZOMBIE HORDE IS BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR CAMPUS.
    YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.

    ...

    Na! Nananananananana ORKY GORON DAMACY
    Na! Nananananananana ORKY GORON DAMACY

    YOU ROLL RIGHT THE FUCK INTO THOSE ZOMBIES AT OVER 3 TIMES THE SPEED OF SOUND. EVERY LAST FUCKING ONE OF THEM.
    YOU DIG A SCAR IN THE EARTH WITH YOUR ROLLING.
    WHEN THE DUST HAS CLEARED, THE ZOMBIE HORDE - ALL OF IT - LAYS SILENT.
    AND THE GEYSER HAS BEEN PLUGGED.

    YOU ARE NOW AT CAMPUS.
    YOU HAVE GAINED 1 BROFIST.
    YOU HAVE DEFEATED EVERY ZOMBIE.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:09 No.9310382
         File1271758150.jpg-(12 KB, 379x398, frowngandhi.jpg)
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    >>9310358
    >belete
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:09 No.9310386
    >>9310353
    nevermind any of this other shit, who dis?
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:10 No.9310396
    >>9310381
    NOTE THAT I DID NOT SAY YOU STOPPED ROLLING.
    NOR DID I SAY YOU SLOWED DOWN.
    WHAT DO?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:10 No.9310399
    >>9310353
    sauce?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:11 No.9310403
         File1271758279.jpg-(71 KB, 500x400, 2641519401_a95909f2d5.jpg)
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    >>9310381
    USE THE POWER OF THE GODS, AND MOVE OUT
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:11 No.9310406
    >>9310381
    FUCK YES!
    How late are we?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:11 No.9310411
    >>9310396
    >find a big red button.

    >press it.
    >> Friendly fa/tg/uy in Japan 04/20/10(Tue)06:12 No.9310413
    >>9310396
    You shoot an invisible fart hadouken out your ass in the opposite direction and thus cooling the earth!
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:12 No.9310417
    >>9310406
    YOUR ROLL HAS APPARENTLY TURNED BACK TIME SOMEHOW AND YOU HAVE ARRIVED EARLY.
    >>9310403
    TO WHERE SHALL WE MOVE OUT?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:12 No.9310422
    >>9310396
    I aim for class. Target the professor. I want to be sure they know I'm "Present"
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:12 No.9310423
    I guess i'll be heading back to /b/ now.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:13 No.9310428
    rolled 79 = 79

    >>9310417

    Ninja roll into class
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:13 No.9310431
         File1271758401.png-(872 KB, 982x658, brofisttothegoddamnedmax.png)
    872 KB
    >>9310381
    GOROOOOOOOON

    PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUNCH
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:14 No.9310440
    >>9310411
    YOU FIND A BIG RED BUTTON AND PRESS IT.
    THE CORPSES OF THE ZOMBIES YOU JUST LAID SILENT ALL SELF DESTRUCT.
    FUCK YEAH.

    >>9310413
    YOU SHOOT AN INVISIBLE HADOUKEN. DECIDING THIS WAS INSUFFICIENT DAKKA, YOU RAPIDFIRE INVISIBLE HADOUKENS.
    THE SCAR YOU DUG IS NOW SAFE TO WALK ON.
    YOU JUST INVENTED GORON ROADS.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)06:15 No.9310444
    >>9310381
    Now let's PRESENT DAT ZOMBIE PLANET TO YOUR GORONDADDY. HE BE PROUD SON.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:17 No.9310458
         File1271758635.jpg-(218 KB, 1064x1600, 249.jpg)
    218 KB
    >>9310386
    Denise from FTV (look in the picture corners)

    Go to /s/, and a lot of times there is a guy with a trip dumping FTV pics. Ask him about it and he'll usually help you out.

    ... or you can look on /rs/
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:17 No.9310462
    >>9310422
    >>9310428
    >>9310431
    YOU ROLL RIGHT THE FUCK INTO CLASS AT MACH 3 AND SLAM INTO THE PROFESSOR.

    THE PROFESSOR FLINCHES A LITTLE AND SMILES.

    "That, class, concludes our lecture on how to Roll."

    THE PROFESSOR REMOVES HIS SUNGLASSES AND GRANTS YOU A BROFIST.
    YOU HAVE EARNT 3 BROFISTS.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:17 No.9310466
         File1271758660.jpg-(22 KB, 480x360, 0.jpg)
    22 KB
    >>9310440
    I want an orz sidekick.
    >> Friendly fa/tg/uy in Japan 04/20/10(Tue)06:18 No.9310474
    >>9310462
    You now realize the proffesor is actually A BEAR
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:19 No.9310484
    >>9310466
    Zombies are *frumple*. Is it time for *playing* yet?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:20 No.9310487
    >>9310474
    DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:20 No.9310490
    >>9310474
    >>9310444
    UNFORTUNATELY, YOUR FATHER IS NOT AROUND ANY MORE. HE APPARENTLY DECIDED KICKING ARSE AND TRAVELLING AROUND THE WORLD WAS MORE AWESOME THAN CHANGING GORON DIAPERS.
    LOOKING BACK, YOU CANNOT SAY THAT YOU BLAME HIM. BUT IF YOU EVER MEET HIM, YOU WILL SHARE TALES OF THIS DAY.

    UPON ARRIVING IN CLASS, YOU NOTICE YOUR PROFESSOR IS A BEAR. THE LAST CLASS HAS ENDED, AND YOUR CLASS IS NOW ABOUT TO START.
    THIS WEEK'S LECTURE: HOW TO BE A BEAR.
    NOTE: THERE WILL BE AN EXAM.
    DO YOU ATTEND THIS CLASS Y/N?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:21 No.9310497
    i take a shit on the op's face
    then i transform into a girl and masturbate
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:21 No.9310501
    >>9310458
    thank you sir. Slaanesh's blessings upon your house.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:21 No.9310502
    >>9310484
    YOU MADE SURE TO CALL POSTER #9310484 A FAGGOT BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR CLASS AS WELL.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:22 No.9310507
    >>9310490

    I scratch out "How to Be a Bear" on the board and scribble in "How to Bear Arms for the All Father!!" with a crude drawing of an axe.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:22 No.9310512
    >>9310497
    YOU HAVE NOT DEFEATED EVERY ZOMBIE IN THE AREA, NOR HAVE YOU DUG A SCAR IN THE EARTH, NOR HAVE YOU GORON ROLLED TO MACH 3, NOR HAVE YOU EARNT ANY BROFIST.

    YOUR OPINIONS, FEELINGS, AND EVERY OTHER PART OF YOU IS INVALID FOREVER. ALSO YOU ARE GAY.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:25 No.9310530
    >>9310507
    THE PROFESSOR NOTES THAT BEING A BEAR GRANTS YOU BEAR ARMS AUTOMATICALLY.
    YOU NOTICE THAT YOUR DRAWING OF AN AXE IS A BEAR.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:25 No.9310533
    rolled 90 = 90

    Bend time to your will, and summon the two legend wolfs of old to eat the class

    Fenrir and Garmr
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:26 No.9310537
    >>9310530
    Check my syllabus to see if I'm majoring in "STONEBEAR!!!"

    With a minor in souffle chef.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:26 No.9310542
    >>9310533
    WITH WHAT YOU JUST DID, YOU ARE AWESOME ENOUGH TO SUMMON NORSE GODS TO YOUR AID.
    UNFORTUNATELY, YOUR PROFESSOR IS A BEAR, AND AS SUCH, EASILY DEFEATS THE NORSE GODS.
    YOUR PROFESSOR PATS YOU GENTLY.

    "Now, young goron. You should know that norse mythology cannot defeat bears."

    YOU HAVE LOST YOUR EXTRA CREDIT. WAY TO GO FUCKNUGGET, YOU SHOULD HAVE SUMMONED BEARS.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:28 No.9310552
    >>9310542
    Explain you summoned the wolves so the prof could fuckpunch them for the lecture?
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:28 No.9310554
    >>9310537
    YOU ARE MAJORING IN BEING A BADASS MOTHERFUCKER.
    UPON FURTHER INSPECTION, YOU ARE ACTUALLY MAJORING IN A BEAR.
    YOU NOTE THAT THE TWO ARE BASICALLY THE SAME THING.

    YOUR MINOR IS, HOWEVER, NOT IN COOKING. YOUR MINOR IS A BEAR.
    >> Friendly fa/tg/uy in Japan 04/20/10(Tue)06:29 No.9310555
    >>9310542
    We learn from our misstake and summon BEARS THAT SHOOTS BEES FROM THEIR MOUTH AND THE BEES ARE NOT REALLY BEES BUT MINIATURE BEARS WEARING COSTUMES.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:29 No.9310557
    >>9310512


    fuck you. as a girl , it's ok to like the cock
    if i have to gay regardless it's still win

    I shit on your face
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:30 No.9310573
    >>9310552
    THE PROFESSOR SIGHS AND SHAKES HIS HEAD.

    "Defeating gods is a higher level of study and beyond this class's scope. Though if you gain honors in being a bear, I would be happy to instruct you. You see to be an honorable young man. Now please. I know you may be a Bear beyond the scope of this class, but the others still need to cover the basics of even being a bear. Can't make bears overnight. *chuckles*
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:31 No.9310579
    >>9310554
    Ursa Major AND Ursa Minor?

    FUUUUUUUUUCK YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAH!
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:32 No.9310584
    >>9310573
    Disprove! Go to BUILD A BEAR. Make a BEAR overnight!
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:33 No.9310594
    >>9310557
    LOL YOU SEEM ANGRY ABOUT SOMETHING.

    >>9310555
    ROLL A DICE TO SEE IF YOU CAN STILL SUMMON AWESOME SHIT.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:34 No.9310600
    DAMN YOU
    I DEMAND YOU MAKE ME INTO A GIRL IMMEDIATELY
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:34 No.9310604
    rolled 98 = 98

    >>9310584
    YOU RESOLVE TO MAKE A BEAR. BUT IT IS CLASS TIME NOW.

    YOU TAKE A SEAT.
    ROLLING A DICE TO DETERMINE IF THE SEAT IS A BEAR.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:35 No.9310613
    >>9310604
    OH SHIT NIGGER. THE SEAT IS NOT A BEAR.
    IN FACT, THE SEAT IS AN ENTIRE DEN OF BEARS.
    WHAT DO?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:35 No.9310615
    >>9310613
    BROFIST THE BEARS.
    >> Friendly fa/tg/uy in Japan 04/20/10(Tue)06:35 No.9310616
    rolled 5 = 5

    >>9310594
    ROLLAN
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:35 No.9310618
    I slap the bears with my clitoris
    >> Friendly fa/tg/uy in Japan 04/20/10(Tue)06:36 No.9310623
    rolled 5 = 5

    >>9310616
    Well that was a lackluster... 5 on a roll of 100...
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:36 No.9310624
    >>9310600
    YOU ARE NOW A GIRL. TO BE MORE SPECIFIC, YOU ARE A LESBIAN.

    THE QUEST'S PROTAGONIST IS STILL A FUCKAWESOME GORON WITH THE MIND OF AN ORK WHO IS NOW SITTING ON A DEN OF BEARS.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:37 No.9310632
    >>9310613
    FUCK SEAT
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)06:37 No.9310635
    >>9310613
    WE LEAD THE BEAR ARMY AGAINST FURFAGS DEEP IN THE FOREST
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:37 No.9310641
    >>9310624
    Build a den for the den so you can bear while you bear!
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:38 No.9310648
    >>9310615
    >>9310616
    YOU CANNOT SUMMON BEARS. DARN.

    YOU ATTEMPT TO BROFIST THE BEARS. BUT BEARS DO NOT HAVE FISTS. IN RESPONSE TO YOUR ATTEMPTED BROFIST, THE BEARS BROPAW YOU. WELL ACTUALLY THEY JUST MAUL YOU A BIT.

    LUCKY YOU HAVE THAT GORTANK HIDE SHIELD.
    You: Unwounded
    Bears: 23 Unwounded
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:39 No.9310659
    >>9310635
    YOU'RE A GORON WITH A BEAR ARMY. YOU ARE, I repeat are, A FURFAG.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:40 No.9310666
    rolled 32 = 32

    >>9310635
    >>9310641
    YOU THINK THIS DEN IS MUKKIN' ABOUT AND NEEDS MORE DEN.

    FIRST, YOU RESOLVE TO LEAD THE BEARS INTO THE WILDERNESS. ROLLING A d100 TO SEE IF YOU ARE ABLE TO INSPIRE AND LEAD THE BEARS.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:40 No.9310677
    >>9310648
    SEND A COUPLE BEARS ON A BEER RUN
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:40 No.9310679
    >>9310666
    YOU ARE ABLE TO INSPIRE 0 BEARS.

    You: Unwounded
    Hostile bears: 23 Unwounded.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)06:42 No.9310689
    >>9310666
    Well fuck that shit, summon some type of fish to get them bros with you.
    >> Friendly fa/tg/uy in Japan 04/20/10(Tue)06:42 No.9310690
    rolled 79 = 79

    >>9310679
    Beacuse we previously failed to summon bears we now try to summon beer.
    Everything works better while drunk so lets get smashed!
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:42 No.9310694
    >>9310677
    YES. BEER.
    UNFORTUNATELY BEARS DO NOT HAVE THUMBS, AND CANNOT OPEN BOTTLES OF BEER. YOUR PLAN BACKFIRES.

    THE BEARS ATTACK TOGETHER, BREAKING YOUR SHIELD.
    YOU STILL HAVE YOUR CROWBAR, HOWEVER.

    You: unwounded, but faced by BEARS
    equipped: Trusty red crowbar
    Hostile bears: 23 unwounded.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:43 No.9310700
    rolled 13 = 13

    >>9310689
    >>9310690
    YOU ARE UNABLE TO SUMMON BEER. DANG.
    ROLLING TO SEE IF YOU CAN SUMMON FISH.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:43 No.9310702
    >>9310677
    B-Double-E-Double-R-U-N!

    BEER RUN!

    Pick up the Prof's fav. beer, too. Get beer for lesbian, make her go Bi for Bear. Videotape and profit!
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:45 No.9310733
    rolled 79 = 79

    >>9310700
    >>9310702
    YOU FAIL TO SUMMON FISH.
    REALISING THAT EVERYTHING IS BETTER WITH BEER, YOU START A BEER RUN.

    BUT YOU CANNOT OUTRUN THE BEARS!
    THE PROFESSOR REMARKS:
    "... one of the downsides of becoming a bear is that you cannot hold guns. Nor can you hold swords. However, due to the power of bears, you would need more firepower or more chopping power than sensible in order to..."

    You: Slightly damaged. Wielding Crowbar
    Hostile bears: 23 uninjured.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:47 No.9310739
    >>9310694
    THAT'S FUCKING RETARDED. COLLEGE STUDENTS CAN'T AFFORD BOTTLES. THEY'D HAVE CANS AND A BEAR COULD CLAW OPEN A CAN OR FUCKING BITE INTO IT.

    OP must be underage or something...
    >> Friendly fa/tg/uy in Japan 04/20/10(Tue)06:47 No.9310744
    rolled 92 = 92

    >>9310733
    You phone your friend, who is a beekeeper, and tell him to release the beeeeees


    Seriously we have not nearly enough bees ITT
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:48 No.9310753
    >>9310733
    >"... one of the downsides of becoming a bear is that you cannot hold guns. Nor can you hold swords. However, due to the power of bears, you would need more firepower or more chopping power than sensible in order to..."
    Prof is a fucktard. There are things such as duct tape.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)06:48 No.9310754
    >>9310733
    FUCK SALMON
    GET ME SOME YELLOWFIN TUNA
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:50 No.9310766
         File1271760624.gif-(61 KB, 770x564, BEEEEEEEEEEEEE.gif)
    61 KB
    >>9310744
    You rang?
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:51 No.9310777
    >>9310744
    OF COURSE! MODERN ELECTRONICS WOULD OBVIOUSLY HELP IN A TIME LIKE THIS.
    YOU ROLL FOR THE EMERGENCY PHONE.
    YOU REALISE THAT THE EMERGENCY PHONE IS A BEAR.
    BEAR CLAWS CHIP AT YOUR HIDE, BREAKING OFF CHUNKS, AND REVEALING VEINS OF MAGMA. THE MAGMA WITHIN YOU SLOWLY STARTS DRIPPING. BUT YOU ARE STILL QUITE ALIVE.

    Your status: Moderately wounded. Bleeding.
    Bear status: 24 unwounded.

    YOUR PROFESSOR REMARKS:
    "... in fact, given a life or death situation with bears, you're pretty much fucked. The only thing that can cut Bears is another bear; The only thing that could possibly block Bears is also another bear. While there are... "
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:52 No.9310778
    Pluck bombflower fruit. Since it's college, it's probably a "special" bomb. Get bears bombed.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:53 No.9310789
    Use the God damned honey!

    A lot of it!
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:53 No.9310793
    >>9310744
    >>9310777
    NONETHELESS, YOU ARE ABLE TO SHOUT INTO THE BEAR, AND ORDER THE RELEASE OF BEES.
    THE BEAR OBLIGES.

    You: Moderately wounded. Bleeding.
    Hostile: 24 Bears
    2nd Hostile party: 400 Bees.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:54 No.9310801
    >>9310777
    SHOVE DICK IN BEAR'S ASSHOLE, ATTEMPT DIPLOMACY CHECK TO USE THAT BEAR AS A SHIELD AND IF HIGH ENOUGH ROLL, HAVE IT ATTACK OTHER BEARS.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:55 No.9310806
    >>9310801
    >GORON
    >ROCK HARD PENIS
    COULD WORK
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)06:57 No.9310834
    Fuck you guys, bears are RESISTANT to bees. >.<

    Use the honey, use the mead, listen to the Prof and use a DIFFERENT bear.

    >.> <.< CAREBEAR STARE, BITCHES!
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:58 No.9310848
    >>9310778
    YOU PLUCK A BOMBFLOWER FRUIT AND THROW IT.
    YOU NOTICE TOO LATE THAT THE BOMBFLOWER FRUIT EXPLODES INTO A BEAR.
    BUT WAIT.

    You: Moderately wounded, bloodied.
    Hostile bears: 13 unwounded, 6 slightly wounded, 6 critically injured owing to an explosion of BEAR

    THAT SEEMED TO WORK. BUT YOU'LL NEED MORE BEARS.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)06:58 No.9310858
    rolled 49 = 49

    >>9310801
    ROLLING TO SEE IF THIS IS EFFECTIVE.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:00 No.9310867
    >>9310858
    Oh dear god, no. Way to go fucknut.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:01 No.9310873
    rolled 50 = 50

    >>9310801
    >>9310858
    >>9310834
    YOU ARE NOT HOMOSEXUAL ENOUGH TO SODOMISE A BEAR. DAMN.

    BEAR JAWS BEAR DOWN ON YOU (LOL) AND YOU BLOCK THEM WITH YOUR TRUSTY CROWBAR.
    HOWEVER, IT IS AT THIS TIME THAT YOU REALISE THAT YOUR CROWBAR
    IS A BEAR.

    You: Moderately wounded, bloodied. Equipped: A BEAR.
    Bears: 13 unwounded, 6 slightly wounded, 6 critically injured
    CROWBEAR: Unbreakable.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:01 No.9310878
    >>9310858
    This will make us a Bear rapist! Bear rape is not badass unless the bear's on top. BAD PLAN.
    >> Friendly fa/tg/uy in Japan 04/20/10(Tue)07:01 No.9310879
    >>9310858
    Oh shit.
    I hear bears don't like to be raped.

    Find its selfdestruct button and kill it. Try again with another bear.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:01 No.9310880
    >>9310801
    GOD NO WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!?!
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:02 No.9310887
    >>9310879
    A BEAR'S ONLY SELF-DESTRUCT BUTTON IS ANOTHER BEAR.
    WHAT DO?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:02 No.9310891
    >>9310873
    >implying all bears are male
    EPICALLY MASSIVE FAIL
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)07:02 No.9310893
    >>9310873
    Summon THE RANGER. Either that or a picnic basket.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:03 No.9310902
    >>9310880
    bear = burly male homosexual, usually very hairy

    that would be why
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:04 No.9310908
    >>9310891
    HOWEVER, ALL BEARS ARE BEARS.
    >>9310893
    I'M NOT EVEN ROLLING THAT. IF YOU ARE SUCCESSFUL IN SUMMONING THE BEARS EAT WHATEVER YOU HAVE SUMMONED INSTANTLY. OTHERWISE IF YOU FAIL THEN THE BEARS SIMPLY CONTINUE SWARMING YOU.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:05 No.9310919
    >>9310908
    and you're a Goron, so it would not make it homosexual
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)07:06 No.9310923
    rolled 75 = 75

    >>9310908
    WELL FUCK YOUR DICE
    I CAST MAGIC GAU-8 MACHINEGUN
    >> Friendly fa/tg/uy in Japan 04/20/10(Tue)07:06 No.9310927
    >>9310887
    Bear with me on this one.

    The bear which you are about to bear so that the second bear will bear destruct are actually way to unbearable to be bearable.
    Now instead take the equiped bear, make a bearswing against the other bears bear button to bear activate it.
    If succesfull the bear will become friendly and you can have it use it's bear paws to bear your other bear enemies.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:06 No.9310929
    >>9310908
    >HOWEVER, ALL BEARS ARE BEARS.
    I see you do not bear basic logic skills.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:06 No.9310935
    >>9310908
    Wield CROWBEAR.

    ..... Seriously, every freakin' thing becomes a bear? OP's out of imagination and awesome.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)07:07 No.9310937
    >>9310923
    oh hey, 75% hit accuracy.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:07 No.9310940
    >>9310908
    not arguing with the outcome, arguing with your reasoning
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:07 No.9310941
    >>9310919
    YOU ATTEMPT TO RULES LAWYER.
    HOWEVER YOUR RULEBOOK IS BEARS.

    BACKED INTO A CORNER - YOUR CROWBEAR IS TRULY A POWERFUL WEAPON, BUT EVEN A BEAR CANNOT BLOCK BEARS FOREVER.

    You - Heavily wounded. Bloodied.
    Bears - 13 unwounded. 6 slightly wounded. 6 dead owing to Bear bomb.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:07 No.9310944
    Oh my god.

    I have altered copypasta for just such an occasion as this!

    Well my first bear experience happened like this:
    I was about 50 yards or so up this path when I noticed a bear standing off the side of the path apparently staring into the woods. As I got closer I realized he had no pants (he is a bear after all) so I could see his ass. Now, I'm straight and not into bestiality but I have to say that it was a really nicely shaped ass for a bear and I took notice. I figured maybe it was just looking for berries to eat, so I started to walk quieter so I wouldn't disturb him. But as I got closer I started hearing terrified screams. I realized he was mauling a camper.
    Now, I'm not gay or into bestiality or guro but I slowed my pace down to watch. I slowed and approached the standing man from behind. The camper didn't take any notice; he was too terrified to open his eyes. I came right up behind the bear standing so that I could have reached out and touched him. That's when I brought the cinder block down on his head, hard. He collapsed on top of the terrified camper and I quickly finished them both off. I rolled them into the bushes and finished my walk. That was only my first of many such bear encounters.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:08 No.9310946
    >>9310927
    You, sir, are the freakin' man. ....Bear. Manbearpig.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:08 No.9310956
    TURN INTO A BEAR!
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:08 No.9310957
    rolled 23 = 23

    >>9310927
    orly?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:10 No.9310966
    >>9310941
    I WIPE MY ASS WITH THE RULEBOOK. AS ANYBODY SHOULD AGAINST THE GM WHEN ACCUSED OF RULE LAWYERING WHEN IT ISN'T TRUE.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:11 No.9310975
    >>9310927
    >succesfull
    You forgot "bearccesful"
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)07:11 No.9310977
    >>9310941
    Pull a nuke out of your Goron ass and selfdestruct.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:12 No.9310981
    >>9310957
    Screw this bitch fest of bears. Roll out and search for more awesome that is not a bear. Spend a healing surge or two.

    Either that or bleed magma on the freakin' bears. Goddamn bears.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:12 No.9310982
    Maybe we should direct the bears to the rest of the zombies looming about.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:13 No.9310991
         File1271761989.jpg-(144 KB, 850x478, Serisously GTFO.jpg)
    144 KB
    >>9310981
    >Spend a healing surge or two.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)07:15 No.9311004
    >>9310982
    No! they will be BEAR ZOMBIES
    No John, you ARE the BEAR ZOMBIES.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:15 No.9311010
    >>9310935
    JUST BECAUSE OF THAT, ALL BEARS NOW HAVE JETPACKS.

    >>9310927
    YOU START SWINGING YOUR CROWBEAR LIKE THE FIST OF AN ANGRY GORK. DEIGNING TO ADD ADDITIONAL CHOPPY, YOU IN FACT START SWINGING NOT ONLY A CROWBEAR, BUT ALSO A BEAR.

    THIS KEEPS THE BEARS AT BAY FOR A WHILE - YOUR SAVAGE ASSAULT WIELDING THE MIGHTY POWERS OF BEARS THEMSELVES.

    You - Heavily wounded, wielding: 1 Unbreakable bear, 1 Bear corpse
    Bears - 4 unwounded, 14 moderately wounded

    IT SEEMS THAT WITH A BEARSTORM OF BEARS, YOU ARE BOUND TO BE THE VICTOR.
    BUT THEN JETPACKS.
    YOU ARE BACKED INTO A CORNER WITH BEARS COMING FROM ALL SIDES.

    WHEN SUDDENLY ...

    YOUR ROOMMATE BUSTS IN, CARRYING A 6-PACKS OF BEERS.
    "Bro! Use the power of Beers!"
    HE THROWS THE 6-PACK OF BEERS TO YOU. YOU CATCH IT IN BOTH HANDS.
    ...
    DID I SAY 6-PACK OF BEERS?
    I MADE A TYPO.

    You - Heavily wounded, Berserking, wielding 6 Bears
    Enemy bears: 10 unwounded (6 wielded), 14 moderately wounded.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:15 No.9311011
    >>9310991
    OP keeps describing us as "Bloodied" moron.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:17 No.9311022
         File1271762230.gif-(44 KB, 512x512, U FAIL.gif)
    44 KB
    >>9311011
    >I only know one system so it must be that one
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:17 No.9311027
    >>9311010
    We GET THE FUCK OUT. We go to the cafeteria for nachos.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:17 No.9311030
    >>9310966
    YOU ATTEMPT TO WIPE YOUR ASS WITH BEARS.
    BEARS INSTEAD WIPE THEIR ASS WITH YOU.

    >>9310981
    YOU ARE COATED IN MAGMA. VERSUS ALMOST ANY FOE, THIS WOULD RESULT IN INSTANT PAINFUL CRIPPLING DAMAGE TO ANY ATTACKING PART.
    BUT THESE ARE BEARS.

    >>9310991
    A HEALING SURGE? GOOD IDEA. IF ONLY YOU'D THOUGHT TO BRING SOME. ALL YOU HAVE IS FUCKIN' BEARS.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:18 No.9311037
    >>9311010
    Op, you are a funny guy
    I can assure you that you will be last against the wall when the revolution comes.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:18 No.9311045
    >>9311027
    THE CAFETERIA LIES PAST THE BEARS!
    THIS REMINDS YOU OF THE TIME YOU WALKED INTO A WALL.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:20 No.9311059
    >>9311045
    WALK THROUGH THE BEARS Y/N?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:20 No.9311061
    >>9311022
    Fuck you and your wabbufet images
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:20 No.9311065
         File1271762435.jpg-(92 KB, 341x386, I CAME.jpg)
    92 KB
    >>9311030
    >A HEALING SURGE? GOOD IDEA. IF ONLY YOU'D THOUGHT TO BRING SOME. ALL YOU HAVE IS FUCKIN' BEARS.
    +1 internets to you
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:20 No.9311067
    >>9311045
    Go get orks. And drugs. Mix well. Add Bears. Simmer and drain until obtain concentrated WAAAAUGH!
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:21 No.9311072
    rolled 41 = 41

    >>9311067
    >Orkz
    >Drugz
    >Bearz
    Rollin' to see how awesome this becomes.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:21 No.9311073
         File1271762489.jpg-(21 KB, 266x285, umad.jpg)
    21 KB
    >>9311061
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)07:21 No.9311074
    >>9311045
    Break the wall before Kool-aid man does it!
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:22 No.9311081
    >>9311072
    I DEMAND THE ONCE PER SESSION RE-ROLL!
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)07:22 No.9311083
    >>9311074
    the fourth wall that is
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:23 No.9311087
    >>9311083
    I have a feeling the fourth wall will be another bear.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:24 No.9311102
         File1271762673.gif-(22 KB, 333x300, NO_U.gif)
    22 KB
    >>9311073
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:25 No.9311111
    Waitin' on the OP..... Bears in Mega Armor?
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:26 No.9311121
    >>9311072
    >>9311074
    WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
    YOU WALK THROUGH THE WALL, AND YOU DON'T FUCKING STOP.
    PLUGGING THE WALL WITH YOUR CROWBEAR BUYS YOU PRECIOUS TIME TO REACH YOUR DESTINATION.
    YOU ARE BADLY INJURED. IN TIMES WHEN YOU ARE INJURED, THERE IS ONLY ONE ORKY OPTION.

    BEER AND NACHOS.

    YOU MAKE A MAD ROLL FOR THE CAFETERIA, TRAILING MAGMA BEHIND YOU AS THE BEARS FLY IN FROM ALL ANGLES. SINCE YOUR EXIT HOLE WAS BLOCKED, BEARS HAD TO TUNNEL THEIR WAY TO YOU.
    YOU ARE FACED WITH DIGGING, FLYING BEARS.

    YOU DIVE BEHIND THE COUNTER AS A BEAR GRAZES YOUR SHOULDER, BEFORE REALISING THE COUNTER IS MADE OF BEARS.

    "SHIT" YOU SAY TO YOURSELF.
    BUT YOUR SALVATION IS AT HAND.
    IN A MAGMA-FUELED HAZE, YOU ENTER A BERSERK FURY. TIME STANDS STILL AS YOU ENGORGE YOURSELF ON NACHOS AND BEER.
    NACHOS AND BEER.
    BEER IS FLAMMABLE.
    NACHOS CAUSE GAS.
    ...
    FLAME ON.

    You: Currently an INFERNAL BALL OF HELLFIRE. Inebrieated. Bloodied. Heavily Injured. Wielding 6 Bears. These bears are on fire.
    Bears: ALL bears are injured by this point. 24 of them are alive, of which 6 are on fire, and 6 are being wielded by you.

    WHAT DO?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:27 No.9311131
         File1271762835.jpg-(129 KB, 600x600, db643b29aa89aa5a971d5ad4ef88b4(...).jpg)
    129 KB
    >>9311102
    please, kindly
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:27 No.9311135
    rolled 7 = 7

    >>9311081
    REROLLAN.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:28 No.9311140
    >>9311135
    THIS IS WHY WE DON'T REROLLAN.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:28 No.9311145
    >>9311121
    I take it that being on fire doesn't make a difference because we are fighting bears...
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:29 No.9311155
    >>9311140
    This could be funnier.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:29 No.9311158
    >>9311145
    BEING ON FIRE CAUSES BEARS NEAR TO YOU TO BE ON FIRE, GREATLY INCREASING THEIR BEAR CAPACITY VERSUS ALL BEINGS THAT ARE NOT ON FIRE.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:29 No.9311165
         File1271762986.png-(15 KB, 497x501, 1268035398696.png)
    15 KB
    I am witnessing something for the ages
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)07:30 No.9311169
    >>9311121
    Turn into a fucking bear demon.
    Then create yourselves an army made of bear fire.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:30 No.9311173
    >>9311158
    So wouldn't the bears with jetpack be on fire from the awesome flame exhaust that BEAR LEVEL jetpacks would put out?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:31 No.9311177
    Suspect OP is a bear Furry. Bears burn like anything else. Feed them all to the ALL CONSUMING FLAMES!!
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:31 No.9311180
    rolled 22 = 22

    >>9311169
    ROLL
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:31 No.9311181
    I have to say that I haven't participated as much in a quest as this one.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:31 No.9311184
         File1271763093.jpg-(82 KB, 552x532, 1267524838583.jpg)
    82 KB
    >>9311131
    do i haf' ta?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:31 No.9311187
    >>9311177
    I think it's pretty much confirmed now.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:36 No.9311219
    rolled 23 = 23

    >>9311177
    JETPACKS DO NOT SET THEIR OWNER ON FIRE.
    JETPACKS, HOWEVER, ARE FLAMMABLE.
    ...
    YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY A FIELD OF FIRE, WHICH CONTAINS 24 BEARS. ALL BEARS ARE ON FIRE.
    YOU ARE WIELDING 6 OF THESE BEARS.
    YOU KNOW THAT THE ONLY THING MORE DEADLY TO BEARS THAN OTHER BEARS, IS BEARS THAT ARE ON FIRE.
    LASHING OUT, YOU SEEK TO CARVE A PATH THROUGH THE BEARS WITH YOUR CHOPPY, BURNY BEARS.
    FLAMES BURN THE BEAR'S EYES, MAKING IT HARD FOR THEM TO HIT YOU. BUT YOU ARE STILL BADLY DAMAGED.
    LET US ROLL TO SEE HOW MANY BEARS ARE LEFT STANDING.
    >> Guardsman Terry 04/20/10(Tue)07:36 No.9311226
    rolled 36 = 36

    CARVE NUMBERS ALL OVER OURSELVES MAKING OURSELVES INTO A GORON-SIZED DIE

    ROLLING FOR ROLLING
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:37 No.9311240
    >>9311219
    Do ignited bears have a chance to ignite other bears?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:37 No.9311241
    >>9311226
    Goron D100. See? Now THAT'S more interesting than a fuckton of bears.

    This comment is now a fucking bear.
    Don't like it? You're a fucking bear.
    Fuck shit piss cunt BEAR.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:38 No.9311248
    rolled 93 = 93

    >>9311219
    WHEN YOUR 6PACK OF BEARS FINALLY BURNS OUT, YOU ARE STANDING FACE TO FACE WITH 12 BEARS.

    NONE OF THESE BEARS HAVE JETPACKS.
    YOU ARE STANDING IN A FIELD OF FIRE, AND ARE UNARMED.
    YOU ARE NO LONGER BLEEDING. WELL TECHNICALLY YOU ARE, BUT YOU ARE STANDING IN A FIELD OF MOLTEN ROCK THAT USED TO BE A CAFETERIA. BASICALLY YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY GORON BLOOD.
    YOU ARE STILL INEBRIATED.
    WHAT DO?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:39 No.9311259
    >>9311248
    Stop following this good-turned-shit quest until OP gets over his bear fetish.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:40 No.9311262
    >>9311248
    Unarmed? What happened to our trusty Crowbear?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:41 No.9311267
    >>9311248
    Eat the cafeteria.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)07:41 No.9311268
    >>9311262
    Yeah, we're the fuckin' GORON FREEMAN for cryin' out loud.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:41 No.9311270
    >>9311262
    DROPPED IN FAVOR OF 6 BEARS.

    >>9311259
    YOU COULD CONSIDER ... KILLING THE BEARS.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:42 No.9311272
         File1271763730.jpg-(175 KB, 692x1050, 1c713a341339c420797602ade85cca(...).jpg)
    175 KB
    I LIEK BEARS!
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:43 No.9311280
    >>9311270
    MAKE ANOTHER DIPLOMACY CHECK
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:43 No.9311282
    >>9311267
    ...
    YOU GROW IN SIZE AS YOU CONSUME THE CAFETERIA.
    WELL NOT SO MUCH CONSUME AS ABSORB.
    99 GLOWING RUNES APPEAR ALONG THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR BODY, AS THE BEARS HAMMER YOUR HIDE.
    THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR BODY CHIPS AWAY, REVEALING A CORE OF MOLTEN ROCK. BUT YOU ARE NOT YET DEAD.

    YOU ARE NOW A MOLTEN GORON d100.
    YOU ARE FACED WITH 12 BEARS.
    ROLL.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:43 No.9311285
    >>9311270
    We collectively don't give a shit about the goddamn bears. Everything we did to the bears just made MORE fuckin' BEARS. Roll the bears up Katamari style and kick 'em into orbit. Make BEAR PLANET. Send OP there, hope he gets mauled while raping bear.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:44 No.9311292
    rolled 75 = 75

    >>9311280
    "WAAGH!"
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:44 No.9311297
         File1271763874.jpg-(36 KB, 480x640, c1d8fe6c4897c2c333a8e2b935f1d9(...).jpg)
    36 KB
    >>9311272
    you have the right idea, I cannot bear to see so few bear pics in this thread
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:45 No.9311304
    >>9311292
    THAT MEANT, STICK YOU DICK IN A FEMALE BEAR TO USE AS A SHIELD
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:46 No.9311308
         File1271763972.jpg-(352 KB, 1024x768, 5a64121cd06c761dd2b256a93bd78f(...).jpg)
    352 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:46 No.9311311
    Hey, guy who made the red crowbar here... why the shit did it turn into a freakin' bear? Take Goron Road we made earlier, go buy another red crowbar. Cool magma and make new skin while in the store.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:46 No.9311312
    THIS SHOULD BE ARCHIVED FOR THE SILLINESS FACTOR
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:47 No.9311315
    >THE ROCK WAS DELICIOUS AND NUTRITIONAL. YOU ARE NOW A GORON UNIVERSITY STUDENT.

    Best quest thread EVER. Sage for meta, though.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:47 No.9311318
         File1271764062.jpg-(241 KB, 800x800, 2a023f5a302c32c1365cb9ed71c185(...).jpg)
    241 KB
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:47 No.9311321
    >>9311312
    I cannot bear to see this bearosity archived...

    Lure bears away from thread with a Belgian waffle.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:49 No.9311337
         File1271764184.jpg-(530 KB, 768x768, ab38161a13c80bd4ebafc8423ae9cd(...).jpg)
    530 KB
    post bear porn, end thread?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:50 No.9311339
    >>9311315
    Our first act as a Goron Uni student should've been "get stoned"...

    Fuck bear class. That ruined everything.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:50 No.9311340
    >>9311311
    >>9311292
    THE BEARS STARE AT EACH-OTHER, CONFUSED, AND TRY TO RUN.
    BUT UNFORTUNATELY, THEY ARE ON FIRE.
    THE BEARS SLOWLY SINK INTO THE GROUND BELOW THEM AS IT MELTS.
    YOU HAVE DEFEATED BEARS.

    ...

    GOING BACK TO CHECK ON YOUR TRUSTY RED CROWBEAR, YOU SEE THAT IT IS NOT A BEAR. DEFEATING THE HEAD BEAR MUST HAVE RETURNED IT BACK TO NORMAL OR SOMETHING.

    Inventory: 1 Pen, 1 Crowbar.

    YOUR PROFESSOR REMARKS: "Ah, come to join us for the test, have you?". HE MOTIONS TO YOUR SEAT/DEN.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:50 No.9311344
    >>9311339
    THIS IS STILL AN OPTION. WHAT DO?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:51 No.9311347
    >>9311297
    >>9311308
    >>9311318
    >>9311337
    Great... Now we lost OP because he's probably fapping now.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:51 No.9311350
    >>9311347
    WUT
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:52 No.9311352
    >>9311340
    Burn seat/den, and test. Explain it displays superiority of bear-fire. Get A!
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:52 No.9311354
         File1271764338.jpg-(56 KB, 750x600, 3afb7e125bc4ab6e2a09d35de7ba31(...).jpg)
    56 KB
    >bears defeated
    /bear porn dump
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)07:52 No.9311357
    >>9311347
    Nope.
    >>9311344
    GET STONED WHILE TAKING THE TEST
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:53 No.9311368
    >>9311352
    EXCELLENT PLAN. FIRE SOLVES EVERYTHING.

    "... Partial credit."

    YOU EARN THE GRADE: 'C'.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:54 No.9311372
    rolled 15 = 15

    >>9311357
    ROLLAN TO SEE HOW STONED I GET.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:56 No.9311381
    >>9311368
    C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me!
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:56 No.9311383
    >>9311372
    YOU ARE NO MORE STONED THAN YOU ARE DRUNK. DANG.

    Stats:
    You are a large goron college student with 99 glowing runes etched into its hide.
    You have the mind of an ork.
    You are badly wounded.
    You have a pen, a crowbar, and a backpack in which to kepe them.
    You have earnt 3 brofists.
    You have earnt a 'C' in being a bear, for your skills in creating bears, and defeating bears with bears. Unfortunately you do not have any skill in becoming a bear, only in the use of bears that already exist.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)07:58 No.9311392
    >>9311383
    NOW we grab our SKS and go in the woods.
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:58 No.9311395
    >>9311383
    You have destroyed:
    2 portion of walls
    1 zombie horde
    1 canyon-shaped section of rock
    1 geyser
    1 bear den
    1 cafeteria
    28 bears
    200 bees
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:58 No.9311399
    >>9311383
    >Unfortunately you do not have any skill in becoming a bear, only in the use of bears that already exist.
    We're okay with this.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:58 No.9311401
    >>9311383
    1. Eat rocks.
    2. Become bigger.
    3. Become Warboss.
    4. ????
    5. WAAAAAUGH!!!
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)07:59 No.9311403
    thread archived on suptg
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)07:59 No.9311407
    >>9311381
    If it weren't for the bears, you would have failed.
    >> Crube 04/20/10(Tue)08:00 No.9311409
    I WANT TO LIVE IN THE SEWERS WITH THE MUTANTS
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)08:02 No.9311423
    Hopefully someone else can make a quest thread now, to keep all the "OMG A QUEST THREAD I MUST SAGE IT" fags occupied.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)08:05 No.9311441
    >>9311423
    SO IS QUEST OVER???
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)08:06 No.9311449
         File1271765194.jpg-(40 KB, 500x338, BearMatingSeason.jpg)
    40 KB
    >>9311423
    Off to Metallurgy class now?
    >> Emergency Quest !1Je08ZUJBY 04/20/10(Tue)08:07 No.9311455
    >>9311449
    Well we've hit autosage so I guess it is.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)08:07 No.9311458
    >>9311441
    Quest's closed due to bear aids.
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)08:14 No.9311527
    >>9311458
    Is that worse than dwarf aids?
    >> Anonymous 04/20/10(Tue)08:15 No.9311541
         File1271765758.jpg-(74 KB, 500x466, birds.jpg)
    74 KB
    Good thing, too, 'cause there are already 252 instances of the b-word in this thread. That is at least 250 too many.
    >> Indonesian Gentleman 04/20/10(Tue)08:17 No.9311564
    >>9311527
    Compare the height of a bear and a dwarf. It's that more dangerous.



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