wat

>>9737828
This just makes me want waffles. I'm moving to /ck/.

>>9737916
Get out of my /ck/

DAY THREE:

The little bastards were at it again this morning, I tried to smash them with a hammer but they were too fast, I winged one though.

I'm wondering if the AdMech will post some combat servitors as guards around my soap in exchange for a box of old computer parts? These Slaanesh guys are getting really annoying.

Also: I think the "Normal" Eldar are plotting something, but I can't figure out what it is any more then I can find their base camp.

FUCK YES.

GLORY TO THE SPARE BEDROOM.

The Guard took it upon themselves to launch a raid on me this morning. Hundreds of the little bastards, screaming praises to the Emperor and jamming cocktail sticks into my feet. I stepped on a few, but then they started shouting about me slipping in their own blood and breaking my heretical leg. Creeped me out a little and I shut them in my bedroom to cool off.

DAY FOUR:

The AdMech have agreed, they love the parts, and no more cultists screwing on my soap!

I've figured out what the Eldar are doing, their building a new webway that will connect them instantly to the entire street, and they figured out how to lock the Darkies out. I asked them if they needed any help just to spite the spiky little slavers.

The Orks are turning my RC cars into makeshifts APC's, I'm going to have to keep an eye on them.

DAY FIVE: I had to subdue another massive Necron "Genocide Campaign", this time I had a secret weapon: a heavy-duty hand held electromagnet I bought from Home Depot, the satisfying clanging sound they made when they got sucked off the carpet was more then worth the 200$ bucks I spent on it, the magnet also seems to scramble their brains, they just staggered in circles for a few minutes after I dropped them. BONUS.

The AdMech used some old computer parts and a chemistry set to make a clone factory start mass-producing basic combat servitors, I think they're going to Zerg-rush someone.

BUMP FOR BEST THREAD EVAR

>>9737828

Did the OP just Sage his own thread in the first Fucking post?

bumping

Well, I managed to contain all the Nurgle marines, but the Khornates are still giving me trouble. There are way too many squirrels around here, I guess that might keep 'em occupied. The Tzneetch sorcerers are a bit unnerving, but I sent 'em out to make a new rubric, one that will destroy all wasps within a 5 mile radius. All I need to do is let them read all my books. I'm keeping the Dresden Files locked up. Don't want 'em getting any ideas.

>>9738796

that is the most fuckwin name ever.

Today I found that my Orkz had taken a bunch of imperial guard and space marine tanks, "looted" them, broke them down, and were building gargants out of them. I should be worried, but really I'm just so proud. I guess I built that big mek pretty solidly.

ANGRY MARINES! MY NEIGHBORS DOG HAS SHIT IN MY YARD FOR THE LAST TIME!

>>9738890
aaaaaaand boom goes the dynamite

the Dark Elfdars stole some shrooms from the guy down the street and poisoned the Eldars water supply with them, they are completely tripping balls in ways I never thought possible. The space marines are starting to get scared. I'm barricading myself in the bathroom with my laptop, some ramen noodles, and a coffee maker for the next 72 hours. The Tau decided to hide with me, I don't blame them.

Note to self: Keep space wolves the fuck away from my dog.

AH FUCK THE ADEPTUS MECHANICUS BUILT A TITAN IN MY GARAGE FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK I DON'T WANT TO DIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE......

>>9739106
see, they pulled that shit on me too, but you know what? the little fuckers didnt' expect me to unplug the extension cord.

>>9738841
why thank you kind sir

Goddamnit. The Orks put a flamethrower on my car. There's no way in hell I'm going to be able to drive that thing anywhere now.

you know what? at first i flipped when i caught the Emperor's Children summoning a daemonette in my basement. then when she was my size, it seemed like a lot less of a deal.

>>9739193

You wait till they get that fucking psycho on the motorcycle riding around your house screaming for cocaine.

>>9739214
.....oh shit... brb protecting stash

>>9739231

You might be a bit too late.

But hey, by all means.

DAY SIX:

Miniature Starship Troopers bugs have invaded my kitchen, it's go time.

>>9739308

...The Hell?

DAY SEVEN:

They've tunneled into the tiles, the I.G. are keeping them from spreading, but they're taking heavy casualties. They can't hold them for long.

It's time to sic he Necrons on them.

>>9739325
Never seen a spambot before?

HE NECRONS AWAY!

>>9739298
>It's go time

Finally managed to contain the Tyranids in the closet, but there are still tons of termagants poring out. Should never have gotten that tervigon.

...

And now the Raveners and the Trygon have tunneled through the ceiling. Shit.

>>9739414

BY THE POWER OF DECEIVER

I AM HE-NECRON

>>9739426

>>9739462

Today I was writing my essay on the 1956 Hungarian Revolution, I go downstairs to the library to chat with my grandma for a bit, and look over to one side. Sitting on top of our dictionaries was an extremely old but quite complete English-Hungarian dictionary. I've looked at that shelf a dozen times and never seen anything except a load of English dictionaries, an English-French, and an English-German. Must have been some kind of tactical ge-

CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!

>>9739489

I don't even know why the fuck we would have a Hungarian-English dictionary in the first place.

>No, NOW it is

The AdMech got into my greenstuff. There's paint and plastic everywhere and there are screams coming from inside the pipes.

I've turned what's left of the microwave into an invisible fence. My doorway smells like bacon.

>>9739484

You know what really sucks? Having Kroot in your fridge. seriously, twenty of the suckers can clean it out in a day.

...I saw a fluro-yellow one running around before. Must be the natural colouring in the icecream or something.

DAY EIGHT:

I spent the day sniping Cultists with a 22.

the Eldar webway is almost finished, the Dark Eldar are really pissed off, but I threatened to sic the Necrons on them.

>>9739750
Ice cream kroot. ><

>>9739750
plague marines would have been worse

This thread is made of solid gold.

>>9740010
if I had a camera I could show you what that would look like in your fridge.

Some "meat" stuff in there is almost a year old by now.

Accidentally ate a zoanthrope earlier today. He must have gotten into the microwave when I wasn't looking.

On the upside, making 150 hormagaunts do Thriller in perfect time is fucking awesome.

The I.G. just set up a Hive in my garage.

This is going tom be a weird week.

I didn't want one of those tyranid things doing their best chestburster impression on me the moment I fell asleep, so I agreed to give the tech-priests all the old computer bits, powertools and wind-up toys I could find in exchange for some skitarii keeping watch.

I wake up the next morning to find they've fortified my PC. Ramparts, sentry turrents, the works. I think they built a shrine in there, I can smell incense. And if I didn't know any better, they're trying to attach legs to it.

>Let AdMech set up manufactorum in backyard
>Send Thunderhawks to bomb neighbors

My Chaos marines caught me fapping to porn yesterday. They all recon I'm a greater daemon or something, but i'll be damned if they don't give good massasges.

My Tau have apparently taken my laptop, my hi-fi, and my TV, and turned it into some sort of autofactory. All the individual bits still work, so I'm okay with it, but Something is going on inside.

Checking my web history, they've been looking up Battletech, and Gundam.

Uhoh.

inb4 people start fapficing about sisters of battle jumping on their cocks and tossing them off.

Again.

>>9740273
At least they weren't looking up Gurren Lagann...

Oh wait.

>>9740308

Nah, there aren't any Tau badass enough to pull that off. Well, except...

Oh fuck. I can't find Commander Farsight...

I can't remember the last time I played with lego. Got too old, I suppose.

The Imperial fists are having a blast with it, though. Repelled an ork assault while I was out and had replaced the damaged bricks before I got back.

Hahaha, I'd have no trouble with this, I only own a few badly painted Tyranid models!

24 HOURS LATER

OH SWEET JESUS LORD GOD IT'S LIKE LENINGER VS. THE ANTS EXCEPT THE ANTS CAN FLY

I feel kind of off today. I think there were some rippers in my room last night, but I don't th


Itchy. Tasty.

Advice- Do Not let any Orks get access to old microwaves. With three, they've managed to manufacture some form of heat ray. Luckily, its stationary. And just now I realise, I left my old lawn mower in the garage. Fuck.

This is why I'm glad I only play WHFB, me and my ogres are bros. The gnoblars breed like hell though. I can't count the number of times I've stood up and crushed a couple gnoblars.

>>9740539
the ogre chow must get expensive

Good thing this doesn't work on AT-43, huh?

Haha...

Shit.

In my opinion, this is a good thread, but I'm probably totally wrong.

I used to have a rat infestation. Then my Kroot went to work.

Now I have a rat-kroot infestation. Fuck.

>>9740553
Luckily, I had a rat problem.
I've just been buying cheap cuts of meat for them for now. They've been eyeing the neighbours cats though.

>>9740610
>>9740615
rat-eating mind

>>9740539

I went to water my plants this morning. The treant thanked me for the drink.

9740488
a looted lawnmower would probably be fairly
efficient on the tabletop
"oh so you have 2000 points of tyranid, well i have an
lawnmower WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHG"

I've trained my defiler to do rudimentary tasks now. In return, I "gift" him with new horns and spiky bits.

Just yesterday, he was perched on my shoulder at the grocery store helping me pick out some breakfast cereal, when this fat bitch runs right into my cart because she was too busy talking to some other fat cunt. Before I could say another word I hear a sound like a shot going off next to my ear and see a smoking ruin of melted plastic and burnt hair in the woman's hand, and her face - she looked like a chimney sweep. I laughed, and gave my buddy a bro fist.. I mean claw. Kinda hurt from the spiky bits.

>>9740338
I think I saw him and a load of battlesuits heading over to have a talk with Aun'Va mate, he said he wanted to discuss some new strategies in leadership of the Ta-
Oh, SHIT!

>>9740539

Tiny WHFB AND Tiny WH40K in the same house!

BRILLIANT!

All the night goblins burrowed into my walls. Now I have mushrooms of various kinds growing everywhere. Also squigs. Tons of squigs. They are eating everything. My gerbils are dead, my dog is missing his ears, and i can't find my baby brother. I hear cackling laughter coming from the walls each night and when I wake up I find bits of shrooms in my beard. I think they are feeding me mushrooms in my sleep. Nothing seems the way it should. I may be going crazy, /tg/. I'm skittery and I can't focus on anything. The other night a squig ate my pinkie toe. They also sealed my front door shut and cut the phone and internet cords. I have to use my neighbors wireless. Please help.

>>9740757

This will not end well. I had a peek inside the factory. Whatever they're building is big, humanoid, and red.

FUCKFUCKFUCK. Found another page in my search history. Megas XLR. I'm getting the hell out of here.

They just took apart my book shelves, handed over the stuff I have for python and C++ to the AdMech, and my Bevin Alexander collection, Clausewitz, and my copies of The Art of War and Mastering the Art of War went to Creed. . .

They've taken the parts of the bookshelves and put them in the garage. It's now a manufactoria making Basilisks and chimeras. . . That really doesn't worry me nearly as much as Creed reading Clausewitz. . .

>>9740775

QUICK! Dig that old space marines set out of your closet and tell them to PURGE THE GREENSKINS!

>>9740582
My Red Blok and ONI seem to be following my lone Elfdar Guardian. I don't know what she said, but they're fortifying my terrain base with everything they can find.

Thank god the Baal was damaged before all this. Its sitting been sitting on the table trying to drag itself forward, and it seems pretty desperate to use the flamer on me. Thankfully the rest of the Therians are pretty apathetic, I don't wanna wake up with hundreds of little X-acto knives cutting into me in the morning.

The orks and the Space Wolves had a brew-off.

I'm like a few thousand times their weight, and after I drank what they gave me I can't speak above a whisper. They both gave me a shotglass worth of stuff each.

Oh fuck, the Space Wolves found my Everclear.

>>9740823
I just play fantasy. Best I can do is find my converted defiler. I don't know how long he'll last though. I'm afraid it'll just piss them off. They keep casting magic on me. I have bruises all over. Oh god. Make it stop, /tg/.

My Tau have fortified my modeling station and shoot at me whenever I get in range.

...So, whenever I walk past the doorway. Bloody railguns.

>>9740879

Just yell at them that you want to work for the greater good and they'll stop. Then you can bribe them with tech bits, and if they're on your side, they're pretty useful.

I've got a couple of gun drones I keep in a pocket, just in case, and a Broadside perches on my shoulder if I need the firepower.

CEILING CULTIST
is watching you masturbate

>>9740875
Leave the house. Buy a few boxes of Sisters of Battle and Salamanders, as well as some Bane Wolves and Hellhounds. Tell them to get rid of the xenos taint. Stand by with a fire extinguisher.

I was having some roach problems, so I warned my Tau to be on the lookout for a Tyranid invasion. No more bug problem, but it's hard to explain the plasma scorch marks on my front lawn.

>>9740931
I cant leave. They sealed the doors somehow. And I'm 5 stories up. I think they found the Idol of Mork I made a few years back cuz I can't find it anywhere and some of them are starting to glow.

>>9740875

Unconvert him and send him off to find your brother.

>>9740923

I got my DKOK and Imperial Fists running household security. The Chapter Master of the IF say they'll have the last insect exterminated within the hour, and no xenos shall ever leave my workroom alive.

Uuunfortunately, there's reports of Lictors and Death Leapers in the attic. No fucking way am I sleeping on the second story of my house tonight.

>>9740973
Its prolly best that I leave him as is. Hes much faster. But good idea, I'll send him searching.

>>9740962
Convince them you're Mork. Tell them you need to leave so you can get more GREEN STUFF to orkify the rest of the place. Reinforce this idea by smashin' gits until they let you leave.

>>9740962

Door> Body Slam> Wargaming store> Space Wolves> BURN XENOS> Profit!

Anyone that plays Apocalypse and has any sort of Titan is utterly fucked.

>>9740985
That would be bad if your girlfriend came over...

The garden's still infested with catachans and they're booby-trapping everything. My back yard is pockmarked with tiny land mines and punji traps. I set a few off when I tried to mulch the azaleas, ruined a good pair of boots. I tried to get the situation under control but apparently they rigged my lawnmower to blow. I'm afraid to walk on unpaved ground.

Maybe I should let the orks out of their transport case to cull the catachan population, but that seems like trying to put out a fire with kerosene.

The Inquisitor is holding one of the Vindicare on charges of Heresy. The Eldar seem to be getting really pissed about it, don't know why...

.BUMPAN!

>>9740829
The humans were pretty happy in their fortress earlier, until my cat decided to play with them. I think I can still hear one screaming from under my bed. He'll be dead in an hour.

Unfortunately, now they're scared shitless and have their vehicles up and running. I can't go in there with the MBT, I'm running out of 2x4 shields

>>9741043
FUCKING DO IT!

>>9741013
tried it but they seem to be using some kind of magic to keep it from budging.

>>9741002
I did convince them I was Mork at the beginning of it all. But they saw the idol and realized that I look nothing like it. The asshole warboss put two and two together and its been hell ever since.

The space marines are happily patroling the floor area of my room, escorting the librarians around to take note of everything they find. Gotta admire the Blood Ravens, they love their knowledge. The Eldar however seem to have their own plans. I keep putting them on the top shelf for their own safety and to keep them from attacking the marines, but each morning i get woken up my the sound of rockets and a fire prism.

Considering building a large wall between the two

So, ah, kroot. I made a deal with them that they wouldn't eat my pets and they could hunt anything else that came into my yard. Apparently they took this to mean people too and they won't listen anymore. It wouldn't have been as bad if they hadn't hunted down the hawk that's been buzzing around.

Harpy kroot. Sheesh.

This isn't good, there appears to be a drop pod lodged in my tv.

What the hell? My roommates junk is wandering around on the floors.

It might have gone worse, I suppose. I'm not very open minded in the mornings; when a bunch of little army men started shouting at me on my way to the bathroom, I went and got the vacuum cleaner. They ran when I turned it on. Maybe I should have been talking to them, but I don't think to well in the mornings.

When I got downstairs, I found little guys in red robes cleaning up my computer desk. The flipped when I woke up my computer, though, and seem to have accepted me as one of their own. (Not sure if compliment.)

I dug out my old PC box from behind the cats' litter box. They were overjoyed, and have set up cleaning and repairing it. They seem alright, but I've locked my current PC's box, just in case.

dammit OP. I was reading this thread and being entertained by it, and I happened to catch some movement out of the corner of my eye, and noticed that my Techmarine and a pair of Techpriest Enginseers are on the shelf next to me. they weren't there before, and they are just standing still, but why are they looking directly at my screen?

>>9741220

How is your roommate going to react to that I wonder?

>>9741242
THEY'RE GETTING IDEAS

>>9741089

You wouldn't happen to have a farseer named Taldeer hanging around, would you?

>>9741220
>>9741253
Ex-roommate, technically. He moved out, left this stuff here. I made a few threats about Ebay-ing the stuff, but he didn't call me back. Almost did it, but I like the look of some of the things. At this point, I'm thinking I should have.

Update: I found weired green dudes stuck in the moth traps. They started screaming at me, and even shot at me, I think, but yelled back and they shut right up. (Note: bathrobe stops their bullets; Shirts too? Investigate further.)

While I was pouring my cereal, I saw more of the little dudes (Note: Need better words than 'little dudes'.) come out of nowhere and kill the helpless green dudes. Colorful, quick. I considered intervening, but the green ones seemed more upset that they couldn't get to the quick ones, than upset that they were being killed. Anyway, waking up to breakfast is me-time. I'm not intelligent until I've had something hot to drink.

It's summer, so I decided to get out of the basement and get some sun for once.

A spot has been cleared in my garden. It looks like a bunch of tiny people building a little pyramid.

The creepy thing is that all the labor is being done by dead animals - squirrels, mice, and a skeleton of a cat looks like it has a little palanquin nailed to it's head.

Damn, these skeletons can WORK when they want to. Under the watchful eye of Settra they've put together a big pyramid in the backyard. I hope they don't find my converted Nagash, good thing he's in the travel case. Goddamn, can you imagine the Great Necromancer running around? He'd probably kill me, and turn me into some sort of Bone Giant. Then my neighbour's Orcs would think twice about storming my house.

>>9741351

I'd load up /m/ because Titans and Sentinels and Dreadnoughts and Battletech Mechs are fucking cool, but /m/ just likes Weeaboo Fightan Mecha, and I don't want to wake up tomorrow and find out that those dozen Firewarriors have all promoted themselves to Shas'El or whatever.

It could potentially be worse than when I marathoned the Alien trilogy (lol what "Resurrection"?) without rememebering to lock up the Genestealers.

TYRANIDS SNUCK INTO MY ROOM LAST NIGHT
I THINK I'M A HIVE SHIP OR SOMETHING CAN'T STOP THROWING UP GAUNTS
OH GOD HELP ME

bump

>>9741397

Yeah, what about it?

>>9741162

Did he die?

>>9741403
Red-robes are demanding I open up my PC box for 'sanctifying'. Asked them what the hell they were talking about, and got into an argument. They seem to think that machines are religious, or divine, or something like that. They seemed quite offended when I disagreed. Made nice to them (and I thought, proved my point,) by propping up my old physics textbook on the table.Their senior red-robe/biggest cogwheel-staff guy is reading it, with a few of their cyborg-zombie things turning pages.

Going to go find those army-dudes and see what they wanted.

OH SWEET FUCK THE LIZARD-MEN HAVE TAKEN OVER THE GREENHOUSE!

>>9741600
Did who die? The warboss? He led a rebellion against the Mork impersonator i.e. me. I hid in my bathroom for 2 days until it blew over.

>>9741544
Quick, drink lots of booze-
WAIT, DON'T! They'd just convert it into fuel!
Um... Um... Shit!

Well this is... Odd. The lizardmen have formed a shield wall around a old ziggurat I built a while ago, and the Tyranids just keep attacking it. The battle lines don't seem to be moving, but I can't find the ravs or the Mawloc...

>>9741199
Alright, found the marines. They're pretty quick too; they've got a fortification set up in the sink cabinet.

Sure hope they don't use those chemicals in there.

>>9741684

Help smash the Tyranids and tell them you support their Plan. They'll support whatever you do, but they will be totally incapable of leaving the Chaos and Dark Eldar/Dark Elves alone, they hate those guys even more then the Imperium.

OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD OHGOD

THIS THREAD KICKS ASS

FOR THE EMPEROR

tyranids have finished converting me into a 'nid-hose
i think there are a few zoanthropes dicking around in my br

f̰̼̪̰͚̭̏̔͒̈́̐e̺̱̣̥̣̖̜̫̅ͩ̏̿͜e̴̸͔̞̗̤̘̜ͦ͌̇̽ȅ̴̖͆̽͒ͩ̅̾ė͆ͭ
̷̨̠͉̰͈̤̱̥̘̓̂̃̓̓ͅȅ͈̞͇̦̗̃̋̌l̶̝̃̑ͤ͒ͥ͗͊͞s̪̺̖͕̲͉͉̔̽͐ͦ͋ͭ
̰ ̠̭̯̍̋͋͊ͪ͊͡g̶̯͎̟͎̬̦̣̝̻̏̊̓ͨͦͦ͋o̬̳̺͔̼ͬ̄͌ͅo͇̲̯̪̠̱͋̑͊̉ͦ̽̚
̙o̲̹̠̻̺ͮ̑̈́ͩͬ̒̍ͦ̀͢o̠͒ͮd͓̭̗̜̲͍̹̺̿ͦ͢ͅ ̘͙̠̬ͥ̈̉͌͋̊͢m̶̔ͣ͌ͤ͊̚͏҉͇̥̯̲̣̰̪̙ą̷̰̭̤̫͛ͨͮa̝̺̲̽àͬͧͥ̐ͬ̒
͕̥̤͈̗͓̿ą̞ͦ͢͡a̡̜̮ͭ̐̄ͦ̏̋n͓̦̊̓̒͒̉̽ͬ́̕͞
̨̬̭͉͓̘ͯ̒ͬ́

The Lizardmen were reinforced by some Slann Mage-Priests and Temple Guards, the Tyranids were pushed back long enough for them to grab the Ziggurat and a two foot tall carved Moi I bought at a gift shop and retreated to the greenhouse, they've fortified the door, there's no way in Hell anyone is going to take them down.

I went outside and peeked in the greenhouse, they're mining the concrete floor and building pyramids, I'm going to run to the store to get some supplies for them, maybe gget on their good side.

>>9741757

oh god. what if they accidentally a virus bomb?

if you have any roaming genetors, you should round them up now so they don't tell the marines how to make the life-eater virus.

Good god, they've gone all out. The ONI and Red Blok mechanics have stripped down all of my older models for parts under the orders of my three Salamanders. I think they're either making a huge ass turret or a Titan, but I can't get a good look with that MBT waiting on the top shelf. Oh, and they have a dropship to get all their stuff moving now.

But I think I should be more worried about the Therians. They've deconstructed several pairs of clothing into nano-resources, and they're churning out golems like hotcakes. I really hope they don't fix the Baal, or make others.

After the greenskin got into the walls, I thought I'd never get them out.

But one night the racket quiets down considerably, a vampire's went hunting and cleared most of them out. I couldn't say 'no' when she asked for some blood.

When I got her a bowl and filled it up, she stripped off her armor and dived right in. I've never seen someone so happy.

>>9742183

You. Had. Other. Armies. And. Didn't. Tell...

AGGGHJKJHJKHJKHJHKJJHHHJKHJJHJ!!!!!!

SOMEONE ARCHIVE NOW

THIS MUST BE ARCHIVED

FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS

>>9740821
Free mini's assuming they let you take them places.

you know what? it could be worse. i suppose if i had turned down that arrogant little pegasus paladin's challenge they wouldn't have stopped bothering me. but seeing as i instead chose to pick him up, trap his mount under a glass jar and rubber band him to a tongue depressor cross, they've all taken it to mean i'm a serious ass mofo.

it's great, i've got peasant trade carts bringing in produce and trade goods from their little village out in the garden, while my loyal ranks of knights have taken up guarding my bed from the stone wall around it as i sleep

i think the best part is i get to send the knights errant out now to do their tiny missions

DEAR FUCKING GOD.

EVERY TIME I TRY TO GET ON THE COMPUTER THE ORKS TELL ME IM MUKKIN ABOUT.

I KEEP HAVING TO REASSERT THAT IM BIGGER BUT THEY'RE WEARING ME DOWN.

IF THEY KEEP FIGHTING ONE OF THEM WILL EVENTUALLY GET BIGGER THAN ME OH GOD

I CANT CRUSH THEM THEY COME BACK SO QUICKLY OH GOD HELP ME /tg/!

>>9742472
model up some Deathwatch Marines... that aughta do it

I'm having a pretty fun time with my Warmachine dudes (though I had to separate the two armies unless I wanted a bloodbath to occur).

Right now I've got the Protectorate of Menoth garrisoned in one half of my Modeling room and my Khador troops garrisoned in the other. Since I've got a big-ass landscape setpiece taking up half the room, they've quartered it out, but I sometimes wake up to the sound of heavy weapons and blowtorches.

Seems pretty tame compared to you Warhammer folks though.

>>9742472
Give them a target for a WAAAAAAGH!

I once did some tinyhammer writefaggotry... but I went off my meds

>>9742520
get some warhammer stuff just to muck up their happy little power-balance

>>9742280
im the guy posting about the missing brother and the defiler. im not>>9742183

>>9741043
I...

This is much worse. I should have used pesticides.

My back yard is a warzone. At first the orks had the guardsmen in a total rout. Bikers, trukks, and all sorts of wagonz were perfect for the open terrain. A few catachan troopers tried to hold their outpost by the pond and were wiped out to a man. The speed freeks poured into the drive and up towards the side garden, that's when things got ugly. The catachans had turned the entire lily patch into one big network of camouflaged bunkers and heavy weapon nests with an OP on the old stump. The kill zone extended across the entire side yard and into the driveway. Now it's just a mess of craters and vehicle wrecks. Some of them are still burning. A bunch of boyz managed to slog into the garden, I can't tell who's winning the fight. Little mortar rounds are still popping off, and now and again the catachans will mount some ork heads on spikes as a warning.

I couldn't start my car this morning. A significant amount of the engine is missing. I'm pretty sure it was the orks' doing, since the rest of the car is covered in graffiti and bite marks. I don't know if they just needed scrap metal, or if they've got plans that involve such a large piece of machinery still intact. Either way I'm sleeping with my shotgun next to my bed.

The Lizardmen have launched a campaign against the Fantasy Chaos army, which is also fighting the 40K Chaos army.

There was a huge battle between the I.G. and Necrons in the living room, I gave the Guard sniper/artillery support (Big Bullets) from the couch, with my help they broke the stalemate, there are still pieces of Necron all over the floor.

>>9740821

next time you go to the bank, bring Creed. leave him in a discrete location, make a deposit or withdrawal. return to your car. you may become a millionaire due to Tactical Genius.

>>9742649
>implying dead necrons do not phase out
>implying Fantasy and Warhams Chaos would not work together (unless they're opposing lords like Khorne/Tzeentch).

>>9742472

Get the largest terrarium you can possibly find. This'll cost you, but it'll be worth it. Get all the Orks into the terrarium, put the cover on. Do this NOW, or you'll never get rid of the infestation.

I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE IT! The Orks in my house have just trashed my music collection. All my ska CDs are shattered, they deleted all my video game remix tracks and my only pandora radio channel is Jethro Tull. I guess "Orks is made for rokkin" but I can only take so much Foghat.

Also, they also stole my girlfriend's copy of Labyrinth soundtrack and play it only at night, strange.

pow☆nid★er

>>9742649

They tried, but there's no tomb worlds in this universe for them to phase out to.

>>9742719
YOU REMIND ME OF DA GIT!
>WUT GIT?

DA GIT WITH DA POWA
>WUT POWA?

DA POWA OF VOO-DOO
>WHO DO?
YOU DO
>DO WHAT?
REMIND ME OF DA GIT!

Alright guys, I need help. Specifically, Necron help. It doesn't matter what it's help with, because I pretty much need everything.

I still haven't been able to find anything that can do a thing about gauss beams (and gauss beams fucking HURT). All of my pants have holes in them now, and my shins are covered in little wounds. Thankfully, I don't have flayed ones.

I do, however, have wraiths. They're getting everywhere. Everywhere. I don't know what they're doing in the walls, but I hear them from time to time, and I can't help but imagine something horrible happening to the wiring.

There's only two monoliths, which is a relief (I have gotten hit once. I've still got the mark), but they're building a pylon in the hallway, and they keep phasing it out to I-don't-know-where whenever I try and do something about it.

I'm trying to find the Lord, but I when I made him, I painted him up as a Gold-level lord, and he seems to be staying off the front lines. He's probably wherever they've set up their tomb, but I haven't been able to figure that out.

There's also green lines starting to appear in my computer casing. What do I do? I've tried magnets, but they haven't worked!

>>9742520
I walked in on a full scale battle between the Menites and the Khadorians. Apparently one of the Widowmakers took a potshot at one of the Choirs of Menoth and now all hell's broken loose.

So far it looks like Khador's winning. Sorscha's bringing up her two Decimators with Mechanik support and keeping the Widowmakers back to take potshots at the Menites. The Man o' Wars are also trying to flank, but they ran into the Knight Exemplars and are being held up.

Can't seem to find the Manhunters anywhere, but the Deliverer's are bombarding the area. Kreoss and her squad of Repenters are holding the line along with a Choir, but I'm not sure how long they'll be able to stand the onslaught.

Never get Chaos Deamons and Grey Knights, the fighting never stops, and the holocaust makes my room smell like ozone. I think the eye of terror is under my bed, it's where the daemons come from.

Woke up to a sharp pain in my groin.

A group of Slaaneshi cultists were doing something unspeakable to me junk.

Now the Space Marines keep trying to purge me.

Oh this is bad.
Imperial Guardsmen with Chimer's and Sentinels.
... Sentinel's with PLASMA CANNONS.
Luckily my MINOR COLLECTION OF MEDALS keeps them suitably impressed. But I'm afraid for my Chaos Beastmen. Poor guys are gonna get shredded.

>>9742860
>magnets on a computer case
Say good bye to your data.

>>9742860
>Tried using Magnets
Gauss technology is based off of using Magnets.

YOU'RE DIGGING YOUR OWN GRAVE, DUMBASS

>>9742910

Oh yeah, I phrased that badly, didn't I? I meant magnets on the necrons themselves. I painted them all coppery, so maybe that explains something about it.

I know not to use magnets on a computer... but honestly, unless I figure something out, I may have to to stop whatever weird-ass thing my computer's turning into.

>>9741622
Climbing back upstairs, I consider yelling, but decide I don't want to risk deafening these guys.

"Where are you little bastar-. Sorry. Where are you guys? You were shouting at me earlier? I'm not a morning person; I'm awake now. What do you want?"

I pause, realizing I'm looking at shelves, and then get down on my stomach, and start looking under the dressers. Sure enough, a few tiny sandbags, and a (relatively) large barreled gun poking over them. Looks like a crew served weapon.

A voice from off to my left calls my attention, and I turn.

"I am Lieutenant Commander Rey Caligari, commander of the second mixed-arms company of the fifteenth regiment, Jopall Indentured Legions. Identify yourself and your loyalties!".

I rotate and identify Rey as the one on top of the tank. Tank. Oh, boy.

"I'm wondering what the hell you're doing in my house, or to be more precise, hallway."

L-C draws himself up, and pronounces grandly, "We were waging war upon the Vile Xenos of Corinth III. We had dug in around a sacred shrine of the Adeptus Mechanicus (I've never really heard anyone who can actually pronounce capital letters.). Then, we were here. Now yourself, are you loyal to the Emperor?"

"I don't know anything about this Emperor of yours, so I really can't say. Are those colourful guys with the floating tanks yours?"

"Cursed Eldar! I knew they were behind this war!"

...Guys.

Bad news.

My mold making tools are now missing. I had planned on making some resin clones just to fill out my ranks and to stick it to GamesWorkshop. After I noticed the first tiny hammer activity I made sure to lock up my casing silicone and all my resins in my tool box ( I even put a padlock on it). I went to go grab the last tube of green stuff that I knew I had in there but it was already open. Not only open, but completely ransacked! The lock was outright missing and the latch appeared burned. I had even printed out step by step instructions to guide me. Now the bathroom Tau are pissed that I couldn't deliver on my promise of green stuff, but someone has cloning tools.

How screwed am I?

>>9742870
Oh geez... I forgot all about my Trollbloods.

They've set up a feudalistic kingdom in my greenhouse. I was planning on bringing the Khadorans and the Menites out here so that they could duke it out in the Greenhouse, but now they'll have to go through a legion of Trolls to get a foothold...

>(I've never really heard anyone who can actually pronounce capital letters)

Pratchett fan confirmed.

>>9742941
Real gauss technology is somewhat inferior to railguns. 'Gauss' when applied to Necrons is just a scientific mumbo-jumbo word for their disintegration rays.

>>9743031
I don't think it's a surefire proof, but in this case, correct.

>>9742999
"So.... They weren't the ones you were fighting?" I extrapolate tentatively. How many different brands of these little things are there?

"No! We had been- " LC Caligari cuts off suddenly, glaring at me suspiciously, if I'm any judge of tiny faces. "Hey, just trying to figure out how many different types of you guys have moved into my house. Alright, new question: This 'Adept Mechanus' you mentioned, they cyborgs? Red robes, skull/cogwheel symbol? Fond of machines?"

"You know of them?" and then suddenly back to paranoid, "And yet, not of the Holy God-Emperor of Mankind?"

"I don't know of those 'eldars' you mentioned, either. Look, come with m- Probably not, send someone with me, I'll show them the red-robed guys, and they can identify them, okay?"

LC Caligari considers my words for a few moments, and then mutters something I can't here into a minuscule radio. A few seconds later, a small APC rolls out of my room. Oh no, they've gotten in there, too....

>>9743060
>here
Hear. God, I hate myself right now.

>>9743000
Depends on who got it.

Brotip to all the fa/tg/uys with Imperial Guardsmen/Spess Mehreens. Convince hem you're on their side by leading a few "hymns".

Like... Amazing Grace, or The Battle Hymn of the Republic. My Guardsmen in particular enjoy The Halls of Montezuma.

Also, don't forget movies! You wanna be a bro to your guardsmen? Have 'em all get front-row seats to the biggest movie they'll ever see! Put in something like Star Wars, or... Saving Private Ryan. Hell, keep a serial going with Band of Brothers.

Be a bro to your guardsmen, and they'll be bro's to you.

>ITT: Neckbeards take mini 40K and mini FB and mash them together with a bunch of wargames I've never even heard of, inventing mini-Wargaming stories. No less then ten separate story-lines and dozens of stand-alone mini-wargaming stories. The Universe explodes from concentrated awesomeness.

I've noticed that no one here seems to own any BFG minis. Oh, how lucky you are.

>>9743221
Scales so horribly off that it doesn't really work very well. But I was planning to touch on spaceships, actually.

>>9743221

Oh I do, but thankfully they are currently occupied by a father large NSL and FSE force. Never thought I would see a Lunar class Cruiser engaging Full Thrust ships from two different groups in combat in my living room.

Awesome lightshow though.

>>9743313
How do they match up?

>>9742649

The Tzeenich Fantasy-Chaos were totally annihilated, but the 40K Chaos guys forced the Lizardmen back to the greenhouse, the Lizards got their asses kicked in the open, but once they retreated to their home turf it turned into an insane version of Vietnam, the Chaos Marine commanders are wearing helmets now, the ones that left their heads bare got hit by magic-altered poison darts in minutes. I really don't know who will win.

I've got the Orks locked in the basement, but they're building something out of the junk down there.

>>9743336

Currently, I've seen 6 Imperial ships go down, 2 NSL, and 9 FSE. Those FSE ships got 5 of the 6 Imperial kills though, I don't think they know how to deal with the Salvo missiles. DAMN are those things loud... The two NSL ships got to close together and got hit with two nova cannon shots and a shitload of bombers from the Emperor Class Battleship... Currently they've backed off, but I think I saw the 2 Chaos ships I have floating around in the hallway... And I can't find my blackstone fortress. Things will be getting ugly soon...

I was just goofing around today when I heard their first noises. A great WAAAGH! came from the other room when I thought my room mate had left DoW running or something. I round the corner and there they are..Orkz running around looting everything in plain sight. They got one glimpse at me before turning their recently looted RC's after me. I quickly ran back to the main room and they pursued me until they were taken down by a hail of bolter fire. I looked over and saw a gleaming light of silver and where I had left them stood my Grey Knights pouring stormbolter fire upon the orks. My inquistor walked out to the front and saw the coming WAAAAAGH! and simply grinned before lances rained down upon them...It seems even my BFG and Full Thrust fleets had gotten in on the action...Now how to get those scorch marks out of the wood.

>>9743060
Day Two:

The Mechanu- MechaNICUS types asked me to move the old computer box I gave them upstairs, to where the Jopall sixteenth of the fifteenth, or whatever, have set up. They demanded I moved my current computer up there, but that's where I draw the line; no one interferes with my computer.

Rey requested several tons of concrete, brick, and five hundred sandbags. I compromised by digging out my old lego set, provided he promised it wouldn't be where I would step on it in the morning. I was somewhat doubtful that they could use them, but they've surprised me; they've got a nice bulwark set up around my doorway.

The Eldars haven't been seen. The orks have been missing too, which seems bad, because my room mate had a lot of them. Let's see, what did he have... I'm going to see if I can write down everything I remember...

>>9743439
Nifty trick. If you suspend a black ball from a piece of rope they will avoid it like the plague. Must think it's a black hole or something.

I came home today to find my kitchen engulfed in pandemonium--the Cadians were attempting to hold back a tide of Tyranids, and I sided with the former when I realized that the latter's Trygons were burrowing up through my linoleum tiles. Smashing a Carnifex or two prompted a swarm of Gargoyles to attack my face, so I fled to the adjacent living room. After disposing of the Gargoyles with my hands and a hardcover copy of "Ulysses," I sat down for a moment to recover, listening to the sounds of humans screaming, aliens screeching, and the oddly-reassuring percussion of Leman Russ battle cannons.

"Hey, big-shot."

I turned my head to the end table from which the voice had originated and found a tiny soldier--gray-haired and broad-shouldered. A group of people surrounded him; one was shouting orders into a vox, others reviewing what I assumed were battle reports and targeting data.

(cont.)

>>9743576
"You want that room as badly as we do, son, trust me," the man said. "Don't worry, though...I've got something planned for 'em. We'll get your kitchen back in no time."

"You're the commander?" I asked. He seemed familiar, but I couldn't quite place him.

"Got it in one. Should be here any minute now..."

As if on the tiny general's cue, the whole house shook as an explosion plunged the kitchen into a cloud of smoke and plaster dust. I rushed back into the war zone to find out what had happened; when the dust had cleared, I beheld a bright-red Imperator Titan, taller than the kitchen table, laying waste to the Tyranid swarm. Sunlight flooded the kitchen from a new and enormous hole in the wall--the Titan had blasted its way in to outflank its enemies, thereby guaranteeing a similar blasting of my bank account when the repair bill arrived. The scorch marks and small craters I could pay for, but not this.

Furious, I turned back to the diminutive commander, the one who had orchestrated the end of both the Tyranids and my disposable income. Now he held a relatively-sizable stogie in his hand as he surveyed the Imperator's handiwork.

"Like that drink ad on your TV," he said to me. "'Oh yeah'..."

And then, in my impotent rage, I knew--

"CREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED!!"

>>9743616
>impotent rage

Woke up today to what sounded like a British football hooligan arguing with Albert Einstein (who also sounded sort of British. Don't ask me how that works). Seems one of the mekboys took apart a warjack Nemo had been working on, then put it together almost correctly and painted it red. Would've let them have it out, but the yelling woke up the Balrog. Cost me the whole morning and a pair of potholders to sort that out. Put both the instigators on half scrap allowance as punishment. Just as well, haven't got any more old gadgets to sacrifice at the moment anyway. Will have to visit computer scrap pile at city dump soon. Must remember to check car for termagants this time, don't want a repeat of the Poodle Incicent.

Side note: Deffkoptas keep harassing B-2. Only a matter of time before they get in dogfight with Mustang wing. Must figure out constructive way to work off extra energy. Maybe get them to chase off that damned woodpecker.

>>9743740
Was that a good or a bad greentext highlight?

>>9743576
>>9743616
I wouldn't let Creed watch any more television if I was you.

>>9742644

Woke up to gunfire this morning. Again.

The catachan artillery was active, not a good sign. I'm still not sure where the little bastards managed to hide the basilisks, but I think I've seen rounds incoming from the vacant lot across the street. Anyway, something in the back yard was getting plastered. I snatched up my binoculars and stumbled to the window expecting the usual display of exploding trukks. Instead, I saw the missing the bits of my car. The greenskins had cobbled together a gargant the size of a labrador retriever.

As I watched the gargant trundle across my back yard belching smoke and artillery in equal volumes, something inside me snapped. I don't know if it was the long hours trapped in my own house that caused me to flip, or just having a target big enough to aim at, but I suddenly found myself standing on the back deck with my 12-gauge. It took four loads of buckshot, and the gargand chewed up a good portion of the deck with return fire, but the miniature war machine finally suffered critical damage and slowly ground to a halt. It was...cathartic.

With the death of their titan the orks sounded a retreat back towards the pond. As I turned my back on the orks I noticed that a small party of guardsmen had emerged from the garden bearing a white flag. Apparently they've been trying to contact me by radio for days now. The orks are still around, and the catachans keep demanding an audience with my princeps, but at least the situation has died down for the time being.

>>9743513
Day Three: I was writing an essay on my room computer, yesterday, and some of the Jopall guys game up and started talking to me. Three of the dudes in the AT-ATs. One of them had been sent to ask me a few things for Caligari, and the other two had decided to come along.
Their list:
More legos (They call them 'STC structure components'. Go figure.)
Food. (I guess I'll pick up a family-pack at KFC or summat.)
Structures or some other form of aid in getting downstairs.
The 'Cogboys' are demanding I unlock my i-mac. (The finally figured out it was a computer. By cutting through the side of it with one of their tiny blow torches.) Hell no, it's got all my porn on it. (Not something I share.)
Promethium. (Can't help, don't know what it is.)
And that they picked up some other Imperial transponders. Keep an eye out for them, and all.
Oh, and some of their guys have gone missing, look out for them. Rey directed me to their remaining squad members, who tried to give me detailed descriptions, until I pointed out that 'angular face, 190 cm, etc.' didn't really help me, considering the relative scale problems.


I couldn't help on the stair-bit, but my neighbor was having a garage sale. I picked up a crate of k'nex for a few dollars, and they've been having a blast with those.

Man, reading all this is making me rather thankful my High Elves are out in the car. Hey, what's all that noise coming from outside? HEY! THAT'S MY CAR! LITTLE POINTY EARED BASTARDS HOT WIRED MY FUCKING CAR!

3:00 AM, Day Four: Holy FUCK I was woken up by the most godawful screaming ever. After a few minutes of blinking and listening to a cacophony of screams, shouting, and gunshots, I sat up and saw the green dudes (orks) attacking the fortifications. They had this huge (well, like three feet tall) idol/walker/vehicle-type thing too. Most of them were getting nailed by the Guardsmens' heavy weapons, but that thing kept coming.

I snapped. I began screaming, stood up, walked over, and KICKED that fucker down the stairs, and out a window. Luckily, I'd left it open, and it only took out the screen.

I hope they don't think I stole their glory or something. Most of the fighting seemed to die down after I did that. The green ones retreated, and the humans consolidated. Me? I went straight back to bed. I had a test tomorrow, and hardly get enough sleep as it is.

Miniature orks eventually leads to miniature gargants. No exceptions.

>>9744123
Bad, BAD news. Hole in screen=Mosquitoes. And not normal mosquitoes, these seem to be mutated abdomen-shredding monsters. When I got back from class, Caligari was directing deployment of some vehicles that had quad-cannons with long barrels on them. They claimed the mosquitoes were 'tyranids'. Apparently these things function like Starship Troopers bugs, or, well, and bug hive-mind you've ever read about. I may have to go out into the garden...

Moved my mac to a spare room, brought my PC upstairs. Put on Band of Brothers, they seemed to like it. By the time the first episode was finished, half of them had clambered up on my armchair to watch.

I wonder if they like metal? I mean, everyone likes Iron Maiden, but my more esoteric stuff? May have to check that out.

Day Five: Found short(er) blue guys with hover tanks set up in my bathroom. They apparently liked the killzone the lack of furniture created. Seem friendly, or at least non-hostile. Asked me about a 'Greater good' something. I don't think they liked my answers, but they seem to think of me as 'potential convert' rather than 'enemy'.

Mechanicus types were watching me play Sword of the Stars; they were horribly offended when I loaded a game as Morrigi; I convinced them it was just a game, but they seemed still a bit upset. (They'd been calling me 'Sector Governor' until then.) Also seemed offended at the research tree, not exactly sure why. Made nice with an erector set I dug out. We're bros again.

Note: I found a bunch of scorched, and very dead, bugs (tyranids?) on the kitchen counter. I find this ominous, for some reason.

Found an interesting site in the backyard this morning. Has something to do with my now empty miniatures cases me thinks. Just for a little insight, I live near the beach and my backyard is all loose, sandy soil.
Well... I found trenches out there this morning. And found out where my missing DKK went. I also soon after found out where my Tyranid went as a large stand of bamboo was... not bamboo, that is for sure. Suffice to say, a particularly large and nasty carnifex that decided -I- looked tasty got a taste of my bamboo hatchet.
The Korpsmen on the other hand... They seem to appreciate me giving them a ladder up to the top of the barbecue, now a converted fortress, and access to my assorted childhood building gubbins. I suspect they might hold out there for days to come. At lest I thought so until I got home from uni today. Whereby which my backyard was ablaze with little red laser lights and the sound of screaming. My harchet got a little more work as I helped my little blue coats defeat those bastard bugs.
Any tips for helping the Korpsman hold it out in terrain the bugs can dig in easily>

>>9743383

The Lizardmen have pushed the Chaos out of the Greenhouse, they lost a third of their guys in there and the I.G. had started a siege of the closet where the Chaos guys were staying. It just didn't seem worth it.

The Cadians have continued their siege on the Chaos stronghold, the Catachan have marched out to meet the Chaos forces marching to reinforce the fortress, they've dug in at a narrow point in the hallway with a lot of potted plants, it's the only place where the Lizardmen held their ground against Chaos, the Catachans strengthened the makeshifts barricades the Lizards left behind with wrecked Chaos APC's and tanks, this will be a huge battle.

Glad I only have warmachine.

*sniff*
Hey is that smoke?
Holy shit my mercs have set up a bar in my basement...Good news is they can only get through a few beers a day if their not doing drinking games.

Considering what I should hire them to do. They are mercs /tg/ whatchu think?

Upside: Enginseers in my car.

Downside: taking a half-hour to get the car started thanks to all the rituals.

Considering how bad you guys got it, I feel pretty lucky. The Space Wolves are pretty easily placated and really like kicking the shit (metaphorically) out of the neighbor's dogs that keep getting in.

They don't even stay in the house. It's pretty awesome. They set up camp in the yard. I just handed over some wood scrap and glue and stuff and they've gone to town. Big ole' wood hut. Covered in wolves.

The AdMech is pretty cool too, but they get in slapfights with the Sororitas all the time.

In fact, brb they're in the kitchen screaming something about the microwave

Nothing but Nurgle Marines and Orks here.
I've forced them to the bathroom because I could barely breathe.
The Nurglites carved something into my foot while I was asleep and now it is infected. The Orks meanwhile have found a way into the garage and have made a gargant out of my dad's tools.
Fan-fucking-tastic.

>>9744726
>mark in foot

Omnissiah get that looked at! Find a priest before the whole damn thing falls off.

>>9744656
I'd say have them go hunt rats or something. Hell, I've got a standing contract with the Devil Dogs to wreck up anything bigger than a vole that gets near my house. Except my cats, of course.

Apart from that, just give the pirate ones a boat and let them sail around the bathtub or something. Trust me, they'll be in hog heaven.

>>9744740
Too busy with the gargant with a hack-saw arm right now. It's blocking my way to the sledgehammer.

>>9744786
welp you're fucked

>>9744594
And I think I've figured out where my missing Titan Techpriest went, as the parts to the Reaver I was working on are gone and what at first I thought was a large child lumbering across my backyard has been confirmed to be a Titan. I just hope to high hell they don't start a fire back there... Dear god, the noise they're making. I'm surprised the neighbors didn't call the cops after the first artillery bombardment.

ok this turned ugly

i had my chaos marines, black templar and orks at something of a truce under the understanding that i would melt anyone down who started any more fights which has worked for a few days but shit hit the fan last night.

it turns out that the orks managed to get into my modelling box which has spares tools etc and found my rare earth magnets, admittedly it was funny watching them splatter each other between the magnets for a while but they figured out how to use them to make one of my brother's old eldar skimmers work again and are in the process of turning anything they can get their hands on into a skimmer which is making things utter hell considering they outnumber the marines about 4 to 1 in vehicles

Dear christ. I've got the boyz to launch a Waaagh! on the rodents out back. Quite a few gophers. Pretty big. Tankbustaz were exited. The fucking deffkoptas are leaving holes in the ground with their biggbomms, but I guess it's not any worse than the gopher tunnels.

It is such a god damn trip seeing like a hundred boyz pour into a gopher tunnel at once.

I've got to keep them busy. I'm having my friend bring over his imperial guard to set up fortifications in the house. He has Comissar Yarrik. Ghazghkull should find this interesting.

>>9744801
Maybe not! I remember my brother has his Space Marines in the attic! He put them there a while ago when he "stopped playing". Just hope I am on good enough terms with them after kicking their asses all these years.

>>9744777
Shae and Bart keep getting into fights. I keep loosing track of Fiona. I suspect she has a Thamar shrine somewhere.

Honestly they all seem board and kinda antsy. So, I've talked them into all joining on a "4chan contract". Now hiring out to houses in need of some ass kickers.

Willing to come to your house and help deal with your shit.
There's a fee for distance and fee for each X amount of points per army per system. Inquire to my price list for that.

Further, on jobs where the tech level is too different I require bits so I can mod them up to task.

I should probably get some Precursor Knights to act as healers. Doc's certain to have his hands full as it is.

>>9744853
Yeah no. They remember me. I'm fucked.

>>9744834
I've got a couple Warhounds in the house. It's the only practical way to get across the house quickly for them, and hey, Warhounds are awesome.

Well, it would be awesome if they would STOP SHOOTING HOLES IN MY FUCKING TILE FLOOR.

protip: emp-botherers and techpriests don't work well together.

The Sisters have the dining room and the kitchen. AdMech has the living room next to it and a spare bedroom (cause they got here first). That whole segment of the house smells like incense and burning stuff.

And constant yelling at eachother. I'm tempted to find the leaders of each side and lock them in a shoebox until they make friends.

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I took a nap and forgot I had given my Death Company jump packs. Little bastards where draining my blood as I sleep and now I feel all woozy. I was able to catch a few but the others are hiding up high where I can't get to them. Loading up nerf gun now to try and knock em down.

>>9744869
Picked up a case of green army men and found my old Gi Joes. The lot of em are ready to play disposable soldiers.

Told Fiona that meant she can use them to her hearts content, just don't waste the other Warmachine models lives.

Way I figure it eldritch spells popping out of little green army men making friendlies suddenly turn on eachother out to even out the tech disparity. Hope I get hired on soon ran out of Woodchuck.

Pfft. Do you guys seriously have trouble with these things? I mean, they're tiny bastards. Sure, Gauss weaponry HURTS and so do Nurgle's colds (missed a week of work, it sucked dick), but you need to remember one thing.

They live on your rock. Your terms. Slaaneshi ruining your lube/mayonnaise? Fuck them. Necrons building massive shit inside your house and disappearing? Eat the bastards, their skin is living right? Imperial guys forcing you to believe in the Emperor? Pfft. Either show them a Bible/Torah/Koran or force your own "godliness" upon them.

Fuck, I gotta run, Just bit into my sandwich and realized Slaaneshi ruined my mayonnaise. Guess who's Patron god is going to have a wider asshole?

If they're going to fight in your house, let

>>9744968
Easy for you to say. You don't have a your size construct made of hacksaws and power drills in your garage.

>>9744941
Got my first hire on. Some guy was having a minor ork invasion. Fortunatly he only owned a small band. Unfortunately by the time I showed up they was a large waaaaagh!

It's pretty funny to see 6 Warcasters all feat at once. Nasty bloodbath. Fortunately the Warboss died fast so it was more of a one sided rout.

Modded out Bart's Mariner with some laser bits. It's hilarious with Broadsides.

Epic Magnus and Magnus continue to have identity issues.

>>9744913
SHOEBOX STATUS: LOCATED.

FABRICATOR GENERAL STATUS: IN THE FUCKING BOX.

WHERE IS THE CANNONESS I CANNOT /TAKE/ THIS BULLSHIT ANYMORE.

FUCKS BROKE MY FAVORITE MUG.

Promised Alistair Caine that if he hunted down my rogue Death Company I would hook him up with the Sisters of Battle. Unfortunently they noitced his powers and are prepared to burn him as a witch. I don't think this will stop him from trying to get with one of them though.

>>9745007
Speaking of which they just cut through the garage door. I hope the neighbors cat can avoid it.
Also turns out the Nurgle Marines like me. Still won't let them into my room because of the smell. Downstairs bathroom is now unusable due to toilet being converted into a plague cauldron thing. For decaying blobs of flesh, the fuckers sure work fast.

>>9743439

Update: The chaos cruisers got the blackstone operational. Thankfully the Imperial crews decided to help the NSL and FSE guys out on this one, and they seem to be doing quite well. The NSL ships are being used as shields, with the Imperial and FSE ships doing torpedo and Salvo missile spam from gaps before moving back behind the screen. Both of the Chaos cruisers are dead, and the blackstone seems to be having problems with one of the guns. It got a good shot off though, overloaded a Lunar's warp core and took out all 10 ships in the flanking force.

>>9745077
I don't think it will stop him from SUCCEEDING with one of them.

You should be more worried about the drama that's going to come when 50 Sisters of battle all realize he was fucking them all and ran away. Shit does not sound pleasant.

>>9745062
Motherfuckers I shake your box I SHAKE YOUR BOX

GET ALONG YOU LITTLE EX-PLASTIC/METAL FUCKS.

Today I woke up to the sound of very loud rumbles coming from my attic, naturally I wanted to see what the fuck it was and went up there. Looking around I didn't spot anything at first, but then after climbing up I did.

A group of old soap-boxes and things that I had used for carrying stuff while moving had been shoved together, making a square shape with only one exit. Inside of it were tiny huts and things, suddenly a sharp pain filtered into my toe as something green smashed an axe into my foot.

With a swift kick it flew across the attic and into a wall, soon I spotted more of those green men coming out, lead by one that was more blackish green then the others, a massive war-axe in his hand he screamed "WAAAAAGH" at me, then it clicked, those were my Fantasy Orcs.

With my best gruff voice I proclaimed, "I'm Warboss now, I'm the biggest and the baddest!"

>>9745173
You know, I think that actually did it.

Also, the Sisters have started calling me St. Iratus. AdMech too.

Whatever, fuckers, maybe you shouldn't have smashed mister mug.

>>9745146
All feeling to my foot is gone. I think I should "convince" one of the apothecaries in the attic to look at it.

Caine got bored hunting rogue Death Company. He discoved the shelf of Dwarves and is now drinking. Pray he does not find the one female dwarf.

I need a new recruit to hunt down remaining Death Company. I'm reluctant to release the Tau. Too much anime around. Instead, I will turn to the King of Bretonnia and suggest a quest for his Pegasus Knights.

FUCKFUCKFUCK The Ogres just launched a surprise attack against the Dark Eldar, I'm starting to get used to the carnage, The Space Marines and Tyranids have spread evenly across the entire house, and the other factions have located each other, there's some kind of battle around every corner. I'm kind of hoping they'll just wipe each other out, but the Vampire Counts, Tomb Kings, Tyranids and Orks/Orcs seem to be thriving...

>>9744913
I'm, luckily, just stuck with Death Korps/Titanicus and Nids in the backyard for now. The only real question is where my lizardmen and eldar camped out. The little backyard is barely enough for those trenches and spore-hills. I would suspect they're in the house somewhere, but it has been surprisingly quiet so far.
And it could be worse. I could be at my friend's house where his SMurfs, Nids, Orks, and Grey... Knights... Ah shit... That reminds me... Where the fuck is Inquisitor Locke and -my- Inquisitorial units....

>>9745217

Following that the entire group, besides the old warboss, but he got smashed by a big army-boot, decided to come with me. Bringing them down though might not have been the smartest idea, the moment I and my Orcs stepped on the ground floor I heard a loud whirring noise.

Looking at what it was I saw my Baal Predator's assault cannons spinning up, coupled with about ten or so Death Company marines charging full fucking speed at the Orcs. They went for it though, I just stood there all wide-jawed. When the bloody-ness was over all that remained were hacked apart Orcs and my Blood Angels staring at me.

Very quickly I decided not to piss them off and said, "I'm a servant of the God-Emperor of Mankind, thank you for saving me from these beasts", the captain that I had painted up walked forward and laid out his battle plans, apparently he wanted to capture this world for the Imperium. Got a little pissy when I told him that might not be possible.

>>9745284
100 bucks and you pay for the gas. Also, my guys get to keep anything they loot fair and square. The 4chan contract can take care of it for a fee.

Also, check again. 10 bits says he already has found the female dwarf.

Let's say, hypothetically speaking, 'Nids managed to find and devour your average rat. Is that a lot of biomass or is it more along the lines of a handful of gaunts?

Just, you know, curious.

>>9745309

Needless to say I let them go off on their crusade, what I however had not counted on was my friend coming over. Well I should had, we had a game planned, but when he did the box he was carrying suddenly started shaking rather heavily.

As he quickly dropped I opened the lid, I didn't know what army he brought, but the moment I opened up I wish I hadn't, the chorus of "Orks Orks Orks Orks Orks", resounded. Before I could slam the lid closed again though they jumped out, a nigh whole army of boyz ran around my house. Luckily I had locked the door to my computer but still.

>>9745332
I...I don't want to look. I only got her as a joke.

I only worry that your boys will cause more trouble.

Looked over to my Lizardmen shelf and realized my Chamolean skinks are missing. Shit. THOSE are going to be hard to find. Hope they don't find all the rat and pest poison in the house to use.

OH GOD THEY FOUND MY BOX OF MASTER GRADE ZAKU, DOM AND GOUF KITS! THE ADMECH ARE CONSTRUCTING THEM IN MASS!

>>9745338
one rat and you should not be worried, if they got into 6 or 8 rats then you can start shitting yourself

>>9745338

In terms of model-to-rat weight ratio.

Yeah they'll probably get a fuckton of Biomass, hope you don't have a Synapse creature

>>9745276
Whilst rummaging about looking for them I stumbled upon my fantasy orcs and goblins army. They actually managed to force the marines to the laundry room. I was impressed. Now the Black orc Warboss on a wyvern is flying about trying to beat me. Sonnuva bitch is persistent I'll give him that.
Searched laundry room and found my brother's Marines and Dwarves had formed an alliance. His Grey Knights were there as well but kept separate. I kidnapped the first apothecary I saw and ran like hell to my bed room. Turns out the fantasy orcs and goblins had been active longer than I thought. I was welcomed by my squig herders and black orcs. Also the Gargant and orks are in the back yard attempting to overtake the hornet's nest.
The apothecary says he'll work on my foot if I can keep the orcs and goblins away. This means I need my Nurgle marines in here. I wonder how long it will take me to get the smell out of the room...

>>9745444
I was able to save my gundams from the admech....The bad news.....they found my UC gundam dvd set...

>>9745491
my guardsman are now screaming "SIEG ZEON!" and they gave up on the empra they now look up to the zabi's

>>9745299

Get on your Lizardmens good side and put them somewhere where they can do some serious guerrilla bullshit if provoked, the Slann seem to be the most sane faction by far...

>>9745491

Yeah you think that's bad, they managed to start up my Mechwarrior 4 copy.

I forgot I left my PC on, when I woke up and walked over it was on the main menu. But knowing the Ad-Mech, they probably penned that all down. That said.. why is the light on in my garage?

Bretonnian King has refused the service of his Knights. He says I play favorites with the Lizardmen too much. Stupid french bastard. Next Goal: Eliminate the Bretonnian's.

I think I solved the Death Company problem. I shall send Epic Caine to hunt the remainder while regular Caine...continues to do whatever he is doing.

>>9745530
I found a way to slow down there MS construction I blast J pop and they start dancing Thank god for you tube.....

>>9745523
If I can find them. If they're anywhere at this point, it's either one of the garages or the little grassy strip behind the house, in which case they're colonizing one of my kayaks.
Still haven't found Locke, but I found some of my Inquisitorial Stormtroopers hiding out under my bed. I suspect he is somewhere nearby.
Also... I've got my Soviet reenactors Commissar's uniform in the closet. Contemplating putting it on and giving the blue coats a nice little speech before hatcheting a few more bugs.

I don't play 40k, but one of my friends gave me a painted Space Marine before he left for the summer. Gave one to each player in our DH group, kind of a momento to remember him by.

And now the little guy is up and walking around.
He looks lonely.

What should I do?

THIS THREAD IS FUCKING AMAZING!!
And now for a tiny, Its-3-AM-I-haven't-taken-my-meds bit of writing.

I feel so very lucky now, all i have is the command squad, a heavy weapons team (with a lazcannon, fuck that thing gave me a serious burn) and 3 more squads of men from the "Mitinan 23rd".

They've calmed down considerably over the past couple of days and were doing fairly well. In fact were going to a friend of mine's house tomorrow to visit his Imperial Guardsmen.

It's gotta suck to have multiple arm- THE FUCK WAS THAT? OH FOR FUCKS SAKE THEY FOUND MY CAPS!!

ATTENTION: If anyone has any Lizardmen, Wood Elves, or Rainforest Goblins they don't want, mail them to me, the Greenhouse is the only place where I'm safe anymore...

The sounds keep getting louder from my 3 cases of Monsterpocalypse stuff. I must find a way to quickly dispose of them before the problem gets worse.

Unfortunately, I just got done converting a bunch of Nurgle Chaos Space Marines. Currently, the Daemon Princes are up to...hell, I don't even know. The door to my work room has been sealed for a week and the smell coming through the door is fucking awful. The bikers seem cool enough, though. They just keep going off about needing to serve their dark masters. I need to work on some magic to see if I can trick them like I fooled my buddy's Orks.

The Tau have been particularly helpful. I was able to sneak some of their hover tech into a class project and got a ton of bonus points for being able to fly extra weight. They're willing to make a pulse weapon large enough for me to use, too. I just keep spouting bits of the communist manifesto and they stay agreeable.

The Grey Knights have been missing for two weeks. I've seen some fog rolling out of my attic but every time I head up, there's nothing except some burning incense. I hope they're ready to stop the impending warp incursion growing in my basement.

BUMP FOR GLORY

ok so my templars and black legion have been going at it all day so now my lounge room has been divided into 3 parts one for each side and a no mans land that i can't get through thanks to them both trapping it so badly. the one upside i guess is they found my lego and scaletrix sets respectively so they have been busy reinforcing their sides before they launch another assault

>>9745574
OH FUCK THEY CAPTURED GUNDAM UNIT 2 AND LOADED A NUKE THAT THEY MADE IN TO ITS BAZOOKA.......I am screwed! they are calling me a feddy some one send some space marines or somthing!

>>9745457
>>9745467

I-I see...let's say you're both right and that the rat was actually rats, and the synapse creature was the Swarmlord. What would you do in this situation, assuming no other factions are present?

>>9745725
Kriegfag at the beach here. I'd use thermite charges. Not that hard to make if you have some know-how.

>>9745677
uh guys.....the house across from me went up in a small nuclear explosion...

The Slannesh cultists have been trying to climb on my dick for a while now. Occasionally they'll try to poke me with a ceremonial knife, and I smash them with a thumb. The Khorne cultists love this.

>>9745677
Well let's see. I'll help out for *starts calculating expenses*

>>9745747
....oh FUCK NO!

>>9745479
My Nurgle Lord and the apothecary hit it off really well oddly enough. Seems he is quite charismatic for a pusbag. He also managed to convince the black orc warboss to join him. I dunno but I think he is recruiting...

Oh and the orks have entered the nest now. Watching the fight from my window. The orks managed to take a few bits of wire and the power drill and turned it inot a zzapgun on the gargant. Nothing like watching little lightning bolts fry hornets.
The Marines and Dwarves are on their way upstairs though. My Nurgle Lord has taken down my brother's captain a few times so I'm sure there will be bloodshed.

>>9745767
wait.....i see red mono eyes in the smoke...better alert my gf's blood ravens......fuck!

DAEMONS
DEEP STRIKING INSIDE MY BRAAAAAIN
OH GOD MY HEAD IS LITERALLY FULL OF FUCK

i don't own any minitures but....I think the effects are spreading......My iron man figure is flying around my room

>>9745806
Best of luck. I'm alerting west point.

>>9741193
Kroot are under control. I bought some chicken wire and made a big-ass birdcage, then tossed raw meat, GOOD QUALITY raw meat, into it and shut the door after they all flooded in. No more kroot problem.

But I have a question. Can this spread to stuff other than wargame miniatures? Neighbors had me watching their spawn a few weeks back and I remember them playing a pokémon collectible figure game or something and they left it all over the pl-

That answers that. My couch is on fire.

>>9745725
Hope you make your invuln save.

Twice.

Per hit.

I got some stuff from home depot, I've covered the floor of the greenhouse with three feet of potting soil and covered that in layers of plants, the lizards feel very at home now, the Lizardmen have built a small city around the Ziggurat and have constructed dozens of spawning pools, they have transformed into a Blessed Host of every single Old One combined, they're gearing up for a mission to retrieve the missing two thirds of their army and any Wood Elves and Rainforest Goblins they can find. The Old Ones Plan will come to fruition.

>>9745600
No worries, he and I are swapping war stories over some scotch I was saving. Sure is a good thing he's a Space Wolf.
Little guy has almost drank his weight in the stuff so far. Keeps going on about how it's "watered down" and such.

>>9745779
Just beware the mekboys man, they eventually try to build shokk attack guns.

I think the warp may actually exist in our galaxy. Those snotlings gotta be traveling through something, and the god damn cackling orbs of unreality persist for a while.

>>9745848
a zaku jumped on to a land raider and filled it full of holes as doms skirted around the pred tanks firing there bazooka's in to the rear armor destroying them...

>>9745898
D: say that the white devil will show up soon!

>>9745779
I locked the door to my room. No more Marine/dwarf problem for now. Nurgle lord suggested I send the Black orc warboss to beat the ork warboss and take over their WAAAGH! I opened the window and let him fly off on the wyvern. He cut a hornet in half on the way there.

>>9745596
I... suspect the Tyranid are evolving. Specifically, better defenses. Specifically, better defenses against -me-. My hatchet chipped against one. Should I get out my rifles and shotguns? I'd really rather not waste the lead....
And I found the lizardmen in a kayak out back of my house. Which is now some kind of temple. I think I got my message across, but I'm not sure. There was a lot of hissing and shrugging and seeing as my Slann wasn't there... well...

Oh god, what if this is just the beginning? What if every small plastic/metal toy in the world wakes up? Fucking Fuck.

>>9745895
That would explain how they got into the garage in the first place!

>>9745968
dude one guy said his iron man toy that was in a box came to life!

>>9745983
OH GOD SOMEONE WARN /TOY/

>>9745953
dude....theres a all out mobile suit battle out side leo's ginn's the works! all started showing up at once! the good news is that the blood ravens retreated to the house and are watching the battle with me

>>9745955
I can feel my foot again.

>>9746001
oh god oh god oh god this is not good! not good at all!!!
any one seen the movie small soldiers?....I had all the marines....I cant find them...

I think I worked out a way to keep everything in check. Seeing how all of the models I was working on were coming to life, I tried on one of those Iron Man helmets that they sell, along with the gloves.

Shit works, man. I blasted a crater into my lawn while I tested, but...it works. The voice in the helmet will have to change, though. I appreciate the classy butler, but I'd much rather have something smooth and feminine.

>>9745840
Agreed. My wing zero model just raped thru my blood angels and my buddys nids/ necron/ tau are trying to stop its onslaught.
OH FUCK!
My dinobot transformer just engaged the hive tyrant and guard! Fuckin Win!!

>>9746103
EVERY ONE PANIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY MAKE ORKS LOOK LIKE NUBS!

>>9746104

You serious.. wait a second.

Doood! My 'revolver' (one with a full-metal barrel) managed to shoot a hole in a tree in my backyard.. oh sweet Jesus!

guys........this just in....the effects are now turning fur suits in to real anthro's......this is a dark day men!

>>9746155

Time to break out the promethium flamers. Wait does this mean those Space Marine suits are actually working now, as in..

Brb buying & building

>>9746096
The gargant stopped shooting. I see no living hornets. But the orks have gathered in a circle. I see some gunshots and I think the boss is being usurped. I see the wyvern but it the Black orc I can't fin- HE'S IN FiGHTING MY MEGA ARMORED WARBOSS ONE ON ONE!?

>>9746155

>>9746155
a guy was tackled by 5 wolf's he is being raped now in the woods.......I pray his death is quick

Huh. All I have is a Ball model kicking around in the basement.

I'm kind glad I don't have to put up with all this -- WAIT A MINUTE ALL MY ASSEMBLED GUNDAMS ARE AT MY PARENTS OH FUCK

>>9746155
Well shit...

>>9746155
>>9746160
>>9746199
>>9746200
>>9746246
capture there women.........make them slaves! WE CAN WIN THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait...Didn't Japan build a giant Gundam?

Do...do they still have that thing up?

>>9746246
I still need to rally my orks to my cause.

Also my Captain America action figure just moved.

>>9746294
I cant contact my friend in japan!

It's happening /tg/...There's a Fuckload of screaming and gunfire coming from the general direction of my Wargaming store, I drove to the local Walmart to get some ammo, just in case...the toys aisle was on fire. When I got home I turned on the news, unexplained fires and crimes were spreading across the country in a roughly circular shape, the newscaster said that hobby shops and toy stores were always the worst off. I'm grabbing my Bretonnian Knights and heading up to my summer cottage in Montana until this either blows over or gets eaten by Tyranids.

>>9746155


If it's gone that far, maybe my nerf guns will work like real guns...

HOLY SHIT MY VULCAN SHOOTS REAL BULLETS NOW. I believe I have found my anti-furry defense. That, and there are like 7 Hierophant Bio-Titans on my lawn now. I'd like the see the furfags get past THAT.

>>9746294


giant Gundam would have gone down by now. it's up for one year for the 30th anniversary or something

>>9746324
Thank god. Now let's hope they don't build a giant Metal Gear or something...

ARCHIVE THIS THREAD NAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>9746339
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/9737828/

>>9746321
oh god i can see glowing eyes in the woods in the back yard... and the sound yiff.....good news is that i found that bazooka nerf made a long time ago heh......time to make kibbles and bits!

>My face when reading this thread

Good news everyone! I have rallied my Warhammer minis to my cause!

but now I can see some sort of mob down the street. They don't look human...

Oh shit.

>>9746426
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH SEND YOUR BOYZ AT THEM!!!!!!!!!!

My models are all at home. All of them.
I may not survive the day with the chaos going on outside.
I just pray that the Space Marines, Imperial Guardsmen and Dwarves at home form an alliance with the various Mobile Suits. It's the only way my parents will be safe.....

.....shit. Looks like some Orks have looted a lorry and crashed it into the house next door.....I'm seeing movement from the trailer. Big movement.

>>9746296
Captain...

... We need to rally the Captains! And possibly the howling commandos!

I did it....I don't know how but I did it I captured a furry and i just sold it to a zoo for a large sum of a cash!

Me and my wargaming roommates have fortified our apartment building, all of the staircases and elevators connecting us to the first three floors have been destroyed, all windows have been boarded up, our room is on the top floor, we've filled the halls with makeshift furniture barricades, our armies have agreed to put their differences aside and Weather the Storm.

/tg/ will not fail.

>>9746453
WE HAVE A GARGANT! LET'S GET THEM LADZ!

guys....my friend in canada just told me that some of the anthros are hunting people and pets for food! be on your guard!

>>9746570

YOU DID WELL!

Update on the Ork-looted Lorry: Appears the trailer was carrying some sort of huge Ork gargants cobbled together from dishwashers and washing machines, all now painted red (with some blue bits). They are smashing up all the cars in the street, dragging the scrap back to the trailer. I'm hearing what sounds like sawing and welding from inside.

Me and my Empire (And eight Grey Knights) troops are going to head up to my cousins place in Utah, I gunned down some Anthros from my driveway and let my Fantasy Orcs and Goblins loose in the garden. I had to give them a chance...

we must have a thread to contune this tomarow

NEW THREAD >>9746989

I...I don't know how it happened...but with the fursuits running amok, I took a chance. I donned the admech costume I'd finally finished.

the gear-axe power weapon thing? it works.