Stay the fuck away from Japan, ending up as sushi is to be avoided at all costs.

/thred

>>13928791
But Japan is the only place where we are a fetish.

i turn myself inside out

get ass to mars, where my martian brothers live

You are conflicted. Should you go to this magical place called "Japan" or not?

Eat stuff.
Repeat.

Acquire a waterproof laptop and troll the humans online. They won't know what to make of an eight-armed camwhore.

>>13928791
Even if I would taste really, REALLY good.

Start contemplating cannibalism.

Find some starfish or oysters to eat.

Predict the outcome of football matches for cash.

"Japan" will have to wait for now. You hunger.

You quickly dart out from under your cozy rock, on the hunt for starfish. It is not long until you find two latched on to a rock nearby. They come off with some prying, and you crunch them easily with your powerful beak. In the distance you notice a large, dart-shaped figure approaching you.

What is it? Roll a d20 for perception.

This remind me of the planet thread.

First of all, i need to grow so i will eat everything i encounter.
Second, i'm going around the globe in every sunken ship i meet, stealing their radio. Which i will bring to my sea base, using all those radio i will jam communication.
The earth walker will never be able to predict that the attack is coming from the bottom of the sea.

Alternatively. Start a musical about living at the bottom of the sea.
Under the sea, under the sea, darling it's better down where it's wetter~

rolled 20 = 20

>>13928850
It better not be another submarine, those aren't edible.

>>13928886
'Sup Octopus bitches

I attempt to call forth a gathering with others of my kind so we can over throw the human scourge.

You pick out that it's a Mako shark, and a rather large one at that. He looks to be just about as long as you are. Your keen eyes manage to pick out that this particular Mako is leaving a thin red trail behind him, stemming from one of his pectoral fins.

Actions?

rolled 12 = 12

perception.

>>13928938
I eat it.

>>13928938
ambush the fishy menace and latch onto his back so that he can't run away. This will feed us for weeks.

>>13928938
Scoot out of there, I may be as big as him, but I'd rather not have to spend the time and calories needed to regrow any limbs I'd lose.

A crippled Mako shark would make the perfect palette cleanser after your starfish. How will you approach the beast?

>>13928938
8 attacks with my arms

>>13928974
hide behind a rock of some sort and ambush it once it has passed

You quickly dart into some rocks below and engage your natural camouflage. The Mako, thankfully, does not notice you until it is too late!

Roll for grappling, add +4 thanks to the ambush.

>>13928974
DIDN'T I EAT THAT BITCH?

Ah, fond memories of Derpupuses.

Approach from beneath it, spray ink and wrap tentacles just behind its head (covering gills perhaps), start beaking the shit out of it.

>>13928974
Can i grapple without provoking AoO?

rolled 15 = 15

>>13928998
take this you cartilaginous bitch

rolled 15 + 4 = 19

rollan

rolled 9 = 9

>>13929024
we rolled the same? Fuck yeah 19 it is.
And block the gills, that seems like the right move

>>13928998

Nah, instead, I call my spiritual liege Cthulhu, and let him kill the shark for me. We shall then go and terrorize Australia. It is not yet dangerous enough.

>>13928999
>>13928999

Seconded.

Perfect.

You latch onto the beast, its muscular form writhing beneath your iron grip. Its struggles are in vain, however, and you quickly wrap your arms around its neck. In the process, you tear its loose fin off, and the slate blue wedge drifts slowly to the ocean floor, leaving a contrail of blood behind. With a massive wrench, you snap the Mako's spine. It ceases moving.

Victory.

>>13929065
Take it to a cave, quickly. That much blood in the water will attract more sharks, we may not be able to handle more than on Mako, they are highly aggressive.

>>13929065
devour the creature, it is ours now

>>13929090
this

Filled with bloodlust, you drag the limp form of the Mako back to your lair. You eat part of it, and save the rest for later.

Feeling reinvigorated, you are prepared to set out once more. What do you do?

>>13929119
patrol the area searching for female octupi with which to have sex

>>13929140
Agree.

>igthol incurable
Captcha warns us of nasty underwater STDs

>>13929119
I try to find water proof candles and draw a pentagram on order to summon outsiders.

You set out, in need of finding a mate. Being a true paragon of cephalopodian might, you must ensure your genes are carried on to the next generation.

After an hour of searching, you spot THIS hottie. What do?

>>13929199
Blood Sacrifice to the Old ones.

>>13929140
belay that command!

octopii often surrender themselves to ignominious death after completing their biological imperatives.

we must seek sunken temples with hidden lore so that we might learn ways to enhance our tentacled might and overcome our primitive urges.

After which of course, we will fuck and or eat everything with our mighty octopsionic powers.

I go to japan to persue my dream of going into film, if that doesnt work im going to holy wood to play cthulu's head

Dark whispers carried upon black fins swim through the waters today. They speak to you, telling you to sacrifice the female octopus.

Can you resist?

>>13929199
Shove our hectocotylus right in that bitch.

>>13929233
Nope. Blood Sacrifice for DARK POWERS.

>>13929233
No. Iä! Iä!

>>13929199
Fulfil mating ritual.
Rolling for perform.

>>13929233
Maybe... Do I have the right sort of dagger to perform the ritual? Shopping's a bitch underwater.

The path of Dagon is a dark one, invertebrate. When you have committed yourself to service in the name of the Old Ones, you may find it hard to turn back.

Do you wish to pursue knowledge most dark and malignant?

>>13929233
do as the night-haunted octogods command!

In his house at R'yleh, dead Cthulhu lies dreaming!

YOU GONNA GET BEAKED

I CHALLENGE YOU TO A DUEL AT DAWN, FOUL REINCARNATION OF PAUL THE OCTOPUS!

YOU AND I HAVE A SCORE TO SETTLE...

>>13929264
>>13929233
DO IT.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! Iä! Iä! Cthulhu Fhtagn!

>>13929264
YES!! I shall rule the seabed as the first of his followers! Show me the way to submerged R'yleh, my sacrifice!

Your skin seems to have lost its camouflage. You turn a shade blacker than obsidian, and the barbs within your suction cups grow, becoming twisted and serrated. You feel His power within your cephalopodian heart. You feel His voice call to you. You are awakened to the true power of the Old Ones, and this female with be your first conquest in Their name.

Thankfully the other octopus is preoccupied with cracking open a small crab. You will have a +2 should you ambush her now.

>>13929319

I walk up to her and politely ask for directions. Any idea where R'yleh is?

>>13929319
Cephalopods for cephalopod God!

>>13929319
EAT HER HEART! WEAR HER SKIN!

strike for the glory of the elder gods!
I have forgotten how to roll! >_<

rolled 16 + 2 = 18

fuck.

rolled 16 = 16

>>13929319
KILL!

Your wicked tentacles engulf her. Her feeble consciousness barely has time to realize what is occurring before your vicious barbs dig into her soft form, raking across the thin membrane of her skin. You tear, strangle, and bite at her with your powerful beak. Ink and blood in equal measures create a swirling miasma around the scene of death and carnage. Before long, she is a tattered and bleeding corpse in your tentacles.

You feel a great presence around you. It is pleased.

rolled 84 = 84

>>13929381

Commence great "Muwhahahahahaha."

>>13929381
take her beak for a trophy! it will have pride of place on our master's altar!

>>13929364
It's the second time I roll simultaneously with some other fa/tg/uy and the result comes up the same. There must be a conspiracy.

>>13929381
Rape the corpse. If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do this right.

Damn it... Now I still don't know how to get to R'yleh...

>>13929381
>that pic

You were planing for us to turn to the Old ones all along, weren't you OP? Evil...

You remove her beak, letting the ragged corpse drift to the sands. Where do you go from here?

>>13929427
>Roughly twelve seconds on google images for "black octopus"

Having run a quest once before, I know how quickly /tg/ turns to evil when faced with an otherwise unassuming creature.

>>13929437

I listen to the voices in my head. What do they have to say?

If they do not answer, I'll go looking for some ruins to stalk. Maybe there'll be divers to kill...

>>13929437
Whereever R'lyeh is.

>>13929437
We attempt to discern the direction of Tokyo. We shall eat their flesh raw just as they would ours.

>>13929427
He posted this thread on /tg/, can you expect anything other than turning to the Old Ones from that bunch of neckbeards?

>>13929437
Sense if the great presence gives me any direction.

I find a grotesque headless torso and become Cthulhu.

>>13929437
we must seek guidance from our dark master, and spread word of his inky power. Build a temple unto Dagon with rocks from the reef and creepy looking corals, add some bones from drowned humans for that decorative flair. dye the waters black with our darkness and petition the old ones for their wisdom!

>>13929494

But first, a cup of tea.

>>13929452
to be fair, the quest would have been over. octopii really do commit suicide by predator after raising their young.

You feel drawn to the abyss. You aren't sure where it is, but there is a deep-ocean trench nearby. In that place you will find your masters.

Your thoughts are interrupted by a massive shadow overheard. It appears to be a giant fish made of some strange kind of rock.

This quest will never match derpuphus quest.

>>13929507
yes, quite. We're slimy pilgrims on a grim quest of madness after all, not complete barbarians.

>>13929518
A TERRIFYING PREDATOR FROM BEYOND NIGHT!

jet into the rocks and spray a plume of ink, our camo will not save us now that we are blackened by the touch of our patron!

>>13929518

Ah, a boat! Or maybe a submarine. I shall proceed to jam their propulsion mechanism with a large rock.

>>13929524

Quite so. Terrible business boiling water when underwater though... Or lighting a decent fire.

You dart into the shadows to observe the giant leviathan. It swims along slowly on some kind of oscillating tailfin, and emits a rhythmic chime as it floats by.

What do you do?

>>13929579

Swim closer to it. See its reaction. Get as close as I dare, perhaps try to hit it with my barbs.

>>13929579
We swim to the top of the strange coral growing atop it's dorsal fin and sing the song of madness into it in order to convert the large fish to our cause.

>>13929579
If it goes roughly in the direction of the abyss, follow

>>13929621
seconded

Is the object larger than I?

You cautiously swim over to what you believe are the beast's eyes. It does not register your presence, and nearly crushes you with its weight as it continues to purr through the briny seas. You lash out with your tentacles, but it only serves to create a loud banging noise and an ache in one of your arms. Its hide is thick, and cold to the touch.

You can roll for perception to try and learn more about the creature.

rolled 16 = 16

>>13929647
rollan

>>13929647
use our tentacle to taste the creature, it appears docile. is it at least palatable?

>>13929647

... I forgot how to roll...

You take in the sight of the truly colossal beast. Dark tendrils seep into your brain, telling you it contains flesh-things. Soft, weak, undeserving flesh things. These things don't deserve to be alive. Their being is offensive, disgusting to Dagon.

You can see a small hatch on the side of the vessel, along with some tiny ports at its belly.

>>13929688
We inspect the hatches, see if it can be opened like a sweet, sweet, juicy clam.

>>13929688

Jam rocks in all the openings. Try to dislodge any panels I see. Bend the periscope. Or spray Ink on the lens if that doesn't work.

>>13929704
Stay IC, dammit. We never heard of something like a "periscope"

>>13929704

If it's a military sub, we gon get raped. They got guns in there, lots of em.

You know what must be done.

You blind the creature with a jet of ink to its eyes. Without a moment to waste, you glide over to the hatch you noticed earlier. Your muscles strain with exertion as you attempt to pry open the bolted hatch.

Roll a d20 for opening.

>>13929688
DAGON HAS SPOKEN! THE OFFENDER WILL BE SNUFFED FROM HIS REALM!

The beast's carapace is to thick for us to sunder. We must use the environment to our advantage.

grasp a rock from the reef and use it to cripple the sensitive tendons of the great leviathan's rear fin so that it will crash against the sharp coral and spill its belly full of delicious infidels into our domain!

>>13929722

We are tea drinking cephalopods and messengers to the Old Ones. Of course we know what a periscope is.

Fine. Try to bend the pole on top of the creature.

>>13929727

We have the favour of the Dark Gods. Never worry.

rolled 18 = 18

>>13929730
bendan

>>13929739
granted, we have not yet had our tea due to the difficulties of boiling water underwater, and are very irritable because of it.

perhaps the infidels inside the leviathan will have teabags in their galley that we can use to cook over thermal vents.

>>13929759
This damned octopus truly has the favour of the Gods.

>>13929761

Yes! THey might indeed have some tea! We shall slay them for our dark lords! And for Tea! I'm bloody parched (I know I'm submerged, figure of speech old boy)

As if your arms were wrought from hell itself, the skin of this titanic fish buckles and snaps. Small bits of shrapnel fly off as you hurl the door into the murky depths. Soon, your jet black form is inside the guts of this monster.

Red light fills the inside of this flooded chamber, and you hear a loud, obnoxious buzzing. Through the small window of the door ahead, you can see bizarre bipedal figures with large round heads. They seem to be carrying sticks. The opening behind you seals up and the red lights go out. Apparently this beast heals quickly. The water is drained from around you, leaving you slimy and vulnerable. The two figures enter, pointing their sticks at you!

Roll for evasion!

rolled 16 = 16

>>13929797
evadan

>>13929797

I cast magic missile.

Can we even cast magic? Screw it, tentacle to the face.

>>13929797
evasion is for cowards, and without our watery domain we are robbed of much agility! These bipedal mutants are only a mere 5-6 feet in length! we shall crush them with our barbed appendages and then tear the beast asunder by crushing its arteries like opening juicy clams!

also if they have dapper hats and tea, we shall claim those too. For the glory of Dagon!

You manage to get out of the way as a swarm of angry little creatures fill the space. The bipedal figures have a momentary difficulty turning, so you now have your opportunity to take action!

rolled 8 = 8

>>13929797
>>13929810
Also try to disarm the creatures.

>roplar ritual-like
Ok, captcha, we will also rob them (of their tea?) and it won't only be ritual-like, it will be a real ritual

>>13929838
Use my hooked suction cups to crawl up the wall, above the bipeds heads.
Then drop on top of one and feast on the juicy organs within.

>>13929834

We'll kill them, and then wear their skin as a suit! Ravage their quarters for top hats and tea! Monocles as well, if possible.

For the great old ones!

>>13929841
Do you wish to disarm the beasts?

>>13929838
GLORY AND SLAUGHTER! pull their disgustingly rigid lower appendages out from under them and slash them with our barbs!

steal their tea and ink in their eyes! woe betide their strange leader if he bears a monocle, for we shall have it for our own!

>>13929860

We have eight arms. Two for each. Wound & disarm. If that fails, launch another two arms into the fray.

>>13929860
Ain't nobody bashin' the murderpus with sticks in this mother.

>>13929860
Yes disarm them.

Then do >>13929854

rolled 15 = 15

>>13929860
Well, if straight-out killing seems easier, than just kill them. But I thought that a quick tentacle slap on their extremities will be faster and easier.

You lash out, reaching for one of their sticks. You wrap a tentacle around the nearest one, and it screams. Though you are mighty, you are not yet acclimated to being out of water, and so the creature brings one of its feet down on your head, wrenching its stick from your slimy grip.

Momentarily dazed, the other one attacks again! roll for evasion, with a -2 modifier.

Also, there appears to be a bit of a delay between me typing out the response and actually seeing the responses in the thread. To prevent further discord, I'll be as patient as possible before typing up the actions.

rolled 20 = 20

let's evade

>>13929891
we'll have none of that language sir, we're an Octopus and a Gentleman and a role model for young murderpii everywhere. Granted, your sentiment is correct- those ignoramuses never should have transgressed upon our neighborhood.

>>13929900

Evasion? Alright, evade, but at the same time, strike at the attacking creature with 3 or 4 tentacles, see how he likes that!

>>13929916
Dagon favors our efforts!

>>13929900
grasp the offending appendage and loose the beast from his moorings. It appears to be his primary locomotion, pull the likewise organ from the other creature as well so that we might grapple them with our mighty surplus of arms.

OP, is this a Trident sub? Because if it is, do you think it is a good idea to give an Old One worshiping Octopus access to Nuclear weapons a good idea?

It will take more than a kick to fell you! Getting your bearings, you quickly evade the incoming cloud of shrieking particles as you lash out at the nearest figure once again. Your barbed tentacles score a satisfying hit on one of its lower extremities, and you are met with the sound of tearing fabric and a scream of pain. Bright red blood flows from a tear in the creature's leg, and it drops to one knee as it clutches its calf.

You quickly throw your massive body onto its head, crushing and biting, you hear it squeal in its guttural language:
GET IT OFF ME, GET IT THE FUCK OFF ME FRANK! HELP ME!
But its pleas fall on deaf ears. The other figure is already running down one of the arteries of this massive fish, apparently getting help. You savor the taste of your first kill's blood and brains before tossing it aside like trash.

What next?

>>13929969
Examine the stick the biped was holding, and coat ourselves in blood to keep us moist.

>>13929969
We shan't last long without water and the innards of this beast are strangely dry.

search for arteries and veins along the innards of the beast, we'll swim in its blood and kill it from the inside if we must!

>>13929969

Grab it's poky stick. Follow the artery and hide in a dark place, ready to jump any more of the creatures with our newly acquired poky stick.

Take its stick; it seems like you could use something heavy.

Also, stick to the roof and drop down on the fleshies as they go past.

You lift your quarry and wring it dry of vital life-blood, taking in the stench. Spent, you once again toss aside the drained corpse. Examining the strange stick the beast was carrying yields no useful information to you, other than when you pull on one end it makes noise and a bunch of small insects go flying out of the other side.

Tearing off a grated piece of wall, you find yourself within the disturbingly warm and hard innards of the large fish. You hear your escaped prey up ahead:
The thing is fuckin' huge, Mick! It... it killed Gerard! Ripped his fucking head off!

You will enjoy destroying these cowardly animals. Dagon's dark whispers float through your head. He desires blood. Send these... "men" to their watery graves.

Can we rip this flesh-thing open a little bit and hide inside him? Not only do we get a hiding spot, but alos some fluid to moisten ourselves with!

>>13930039
You are thirteen feet long. You would not fit inside a man-thing

>>13930033
Move along the shaft, try to find a room with a single man, alone they are weak.

We shall feast in the name of Dagon.

>>13930039
aye, fluid and tea!

we must seek both, for we are a hunter built for ambush- the humans must be destroyed cunningly and piecemeal.

>>13930033

Ambush the last one to come by. Drag him into the shaft with us.

Now, how would we get information out of him? Eats it's brain? dark Rituals?

Try Dark rituals. If that fails, eat it's brain.

You move along the fish's interior until you are perched above the two "men"

Perfect spot for an ambush.

>>13930081

Wait until one leaves, then strike from the roof.

Upon getting a kill, use the body as your puppet and meat-shield.

rolled 19 = 19

>>13930081
Grab them and drop behind them for a quick takedown

>>13930081

Can we use magic to possess them? Otherwise, ambush one and drag him up with us.

You gleefully throw yourself beak-first upon the nearest man-thing, and completely sever his skull from the jaw-up. He gurgles blood and collapses as you wrap four of your arms around the other. He cannot manage a scream as you feel his pathetic bone structure popping beneath your vice-like grip. His eyes bulge and then burst in a spray of blood as he ceases struggling.

You crack one open and consume his innards. His blood is smeared on the walls into jagged symbols you never knew you could make. Whispers and laughter fill the arteries of this fish as you feel darkness overwhelm you. Your arms and body bulge with strength and rage, and you can feel yourself becoming bigger.

Clutching one of the "men," you quickly begin writhing down the vein of the beast. More "men" appears in a doorway at the end!

Oh man, this turned into underwater Alien!

>>13930170
Is that... good?

WHERE ARE CLAMS < FIND CLAMS EAT CLAMS < LOOK FOR DEAD WHALE < EAT DEAD WHALE < CLAMS WHERE ARE CLAMS

>>13930179
As long as we aren't jettisoned into the vacuum of space.

>>13930151

We aren't going to get very far like this...
Back, up into the ventilation! We must rely on stealth. We can't go around taking on large groups of enemies.

Look for the Kitchen. We'll have tea and it will probably be more relaxed.

>>13930151
How many are there and how far is the doorway.

>>13930207
Approximately twenty feet long, three men in the doorway

You could roll for evasion, or press the attack in the name of Dagon

rolled 2 = 2

>>13930259
throw a corpse at them then evade

>>13930272
oh god dice karma

Dagon's love seems to be a fickle bitch. You attempt to throw the corpse to distract the man-things, but it goes about five feet before landing with a wet and heavy thud on the cold floor. The three men open fire on you, and you can feel sharp barbs piercing your leathery hide. Two of your tentacles are wounded and your main body has suffered mild trauma!

HP: 17/20

Go! Kill the man-things! Dagon commands it! Kill for Dagon or die in the process!

>>13930298
Charge at the man things, but keep my movement a little erratic.
Climb up the wall to the ceiling, our suckers and hooks will surely find purchase.

Then chase those fleshy morsels down.

rolled 10 = 10

>>13930298
Same procedure: Disarm, then kill.

>ensengu sefer
Fucking captcha performs rituals on its own.

Roll for wall-crawling and attacking with a -2 due to injuries.

rolled 3 + 2 = 5

Already subtracted.

>>13930335
roll d20 - 2

Your gambit fails, though you do not suffer further injury. Thanks to the unexpectedness of wall-climbing, the man things cannot pinpoint your location and their screaming projectiles miss you slightly.

You are roughly ten feet from them now, you hear panic in their disgusting voices:

Shit, shit! Shoot the fucking thing! What the fuck kind of fucking octopus is this? Jesus christ it's covered in blood!

Dagon screams in your mind. KILL. KILL. YOU MUST KILL AND KILL AGAIN.

rolled 11 = 11

>>13930378
Dagon says kill so we kill.

>>13930378
DROP DOWN ON THE PITIFUL HUMANS AND TEAR THEM TO BITS
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

rolled 3 = 3

>>13930378
Kill them and arrange their corpses into unholy symbols

>>13930378
Throw 4 tentacles forward, grabbing at something on the ceiling in front of you, then swing your body into the man things.
As soon as we hit, grapple.

(How the hell do you roll a dice on here?)

You lash out, knocking a stick from the closest man-thing's hands and scoring a hit on its torso. It clutches its side and stumbles backwards as the other two move to catch him. They appear to be disoriented!

>>13930406
Engulf one of the men with your tentacles, wrapping him fully and completely, while eating him alive with your beak at the same time.

rolled 10 = 10

>>13930406
Use that possibility to drop on their heads, crushing them to death with our weight, beak and arms!

rolled 4 = 4

>>13930406
LUNGE!

You launch yourself up and onto the man thing you previously injured. You feel a rib snap inside of his chest, and he begins flailing beneath your considerable weight as the other two begin smacking at you with their sticks. Slowly you choke the life out of the downed man.

>>13928781

You read Rabbit Quest! I approve!

>>13930406
Grapple them with my sturdy tentacles.

All shall feel the might of Dagon.

rolled 18 = 18

>>13930440
grab the other two on their arms and try to beat them against each other, suffocating them at the same time.

Better yet smash them against eachother in our powerful tentacles.

rolled 10 = 10

>>13930477
>>13930466
Dagonian hivemind.

Such insolence from the man things will not be tolerated. You bind their arms and hurl the two against one another with a delightful crack. One bleeds profusely from the nose and the other has a cut on his forehead.

Crack.

Bits of teeth fall from their mouths, their faces redden more, dripping with fluid.

Crack.

One appears to have lost consciousness, the other chokes on fragments of his jaw as blood rushes from his ruined mouth

Crack

One of their necks snaps backwards, the man-thing's head lolling around on its shoulders awkwardly. The other has also lost consciousness, and the one below you lies still.

Victory.

rolled 18 = 18

YES! Kill them, eat them! Feast on their squishy insides!

>>13930503
Drink their blood, and try to get Dagon to transform you into a giant Vampire Squid.

>>13930503
Feed, and bathe in their blood once more.

We must not rest until this metal fish belongs to Dagon.

Look around, where can we go?

>>13930503
Well, let's feast! And may Dagon enjoy our meal with us.
After that, retreat and search for a way to rip through the hull of the fish.

Within the halls of this massive fish you indulge in an orgy of violence and bloodshed. Drinking deep of these foul apes' vital fluid, you feel Dagon smiling upon you. The arteries of this fish carry an eerie silence, and a constant feeling of being watched looms over them now. As you nestle down into a corner of the ship, you can feel His blessing upon you. You swell in size, ferocity, intelligence. The remaining men upon the ship know you are here, and they react with the fear of mice trapped in a snake's den.

When you stir from your violence-induced coma, you feel reinvigorated. You are now roughly twenty six feet long, bulging with muscles and rage. Your massive, crimson eyes flare with the bloodlust of the Old Ones. Your jet-black beak is razor sharp and your barbed tongue thrashes wildly, thirsting for blood. The man-things will pay for their intrusion upon Their domain.

FANTASTIC. Now, let's find more things to kill and eat. We must not give them a chance to prepare for us. SLAUGHTER THEM ALL.

Except the Captain. Him, we question. Learn his secrets.

>>13930503
Search them with our nimble and sensitive tentacles. See if any of them have small bottles containing brown fluid. See if any of them have keys of any sort.

>>13930601
>Question

I'm pretty sure we have our new tongue for a reason.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhwPI3Jgglg

You scour the arteries of the beast, ignoring many empty and pointless rooms. After hours of writhing about in the shadows, you find yourself above a large-ish open room. Man-things move about the area in a massive throng. One man-thing seems to be speaking to the others.

"I want that thing found. Whatever killed all those men needs to be located and destroyed, and we need to send out an SOS immediately. We're obviously in over our heads."

>>13930630
Launch myself at the group, trying not to kill the one speaking, we will use him later.

>>13930630
Well, WE are over THEIR heads now
bad pun octopus.jpg

>>13930667
Gonna need a roll for that one, ghost rider.

>>13930667
Wear his hat.

rolled 6 = 6

>>13930689

>>13930689
I have no idea how to roll.

rolled 13 = 13

I'll roll then, since I'm for attacking, too.

>>13930690
And ask if they have some bloody tea on this ship.

rolled 5 = 5

>>13930725
Roll for tea finding on their bodies?

You land fully on the captain, and even find the time to quaff the thermos of tea he luckily had on hand as you do so!

You hold the captain overhead, waving him around menacingly. The other man-things don't know what to do, for they do not wish to do harm to their leader.

>>13930725
Woah woah woah.
Idea.
Speak to crew > use mind control on crew > wear captain's hat > order crew to sail to Tokyo > launch nukes

My name is Jean-Luc CephaloPicard of the USS Dagon.

>captcha: Epicxp CARRIER
Yes, captcha... We shall soon take over a carrier for epic xp.

rolled 16 = 16

>>13930740
Than have the leader, do harm to them!
Use him as a bludgeon against them!

>>13930740

Curtly, but strongly, demand tea. If they do not provide tea, we will have to kill them off one by one.

Dagon whispers once more to you.

Break open the fleshy captain. Use him as a portal to His dark domain. Let Dagon's glory into the innards of this giant fish!

>>13930771

what powers has dagon granted us

>>13930797
Stick my tongue in the captains' ear.
Try to mind control him.

Failing that, tear him to pieces.

>>13930797
Do as he says. RIP AND TEAR!

rolled 2 = 2

>>13930797
Well, let's break him. For Dagon and TEA

>>13930797
DAGON SPEAKS AND WE LISTEN!

crack the weak bones and taste his brain with our tentacles so that our lord might know his grey greasy flavor!

Seize his hat for our own so that we might be a dapper murderpus and demand the tea of our prisoners!

>>13930817

Mind control. PLEASE DAGON! Mind CONTROL!

rolled 13 = 13

>>13930797
rip open the captain, and use his flowing blood to make a sigil of Dagon on the floor as quick as you can.

rolled 1 = 1

That wacky Dagon

Toss the captain into the ceiling and then head for the control wheel piloting the sub. Push it down and send it plummeting into the depths!

For the sake of hurrying up, no dice rolls necessary I suppose.

You crack the spine of the captain, whose dying words are: Fuck.

His blood and innards spill out over the floor, and you begin shaping them into the runes of Dagon. The other men, too shocked and cowardly to intervene, watch in mute horror as you open a rift between His realm and your own. From the gaping maw of the ethereal an utterly inhuman cry of glee and hatred rocks the giant metal fish to its very core. Some of the men go mad on the spot, driving their faces into the blinking lights before them, caving their skulls in with pipes, and tearing out each others' eyes and throats. The other slump to their knees and pray. They pray to whatever is coming through the portal, they pray to their own false idols, they pray to whatever will save them from the coming oblivion. But nothing will save them. You have doomed them to a hell unending at the hands of one of the perfect and ascended Old Ones. They, who know more than all of the man-things that have ever walked this planet combined. They, who will now sing the song of destruction across the Earth, and begin their reign of bloodshed and terror over the weak humans.

You have served Dagon well, young Kraken.

rolled 10 = 10

Pinata party for Dagon, and the captain is the stick!

rolled 10 = 10

>>13930896
Fuck yeah.jpg

Now praise Dagon. After that, look for tea.

>>13930896
I say we return to our roots and eat Dagon is anyone with me

You are truly honored to have been the catalyst for Dagon's arrival in this realm. You bow deeply to your lord as you avert your gaze from the portal. A massive, scaled set of fingers reaches through and grabs a hold of a brace of mewling man-slaves.

Dagon consumes them both with ease, and dismisses you to continue a reign of terror on the vessel. You quickly head down the arteries of the giant fish, until you come across a large, empty hall-like room. You smell a sweet scent, and follow it to the source.

What luck, more of this delightful "tea" substance!

You are an alien octopus, approximately sixty feet tall.

What do.

>>13930930
i say we fuck Dagon, we never did get to mate with that female octopus

>>13930930
yes, now that our attempts to summon the being are successful, we can overthrow him and take our rightful place as the Octo-ruler of the world.

rolled 15 = 15

>>13930946
drink more tea
and search the ship for a tophat and monocle. And possibly a bowtie.

>>13930955
>>13930957
In before a string of natural 1s or natural 20s

Roll to rape/kill Dagon?

>>13930946

Finally! Some damn tea! What an octopus doesn't have to do to get some tea... All it requires is Dark god worshiping, multiple murder and nuclear threat, but in the end it's all worth it.

Ah, tea...

rolled 19 = 19

it is time to take our rightful place.

>>13930987

It's Earl Grey...

>>13930996
You guys ever hear of the Peter Principle?

>>13930996
we really must be the luckiest cephalopod in the world

>>13930987

What do you mean it's bloody earl grey!?

All this for nothing? Bloody hell. Yes, alright, lets murder Dagon for petty vengeance. If I can't have proper tea, no one shall!

>>13930996

You return to the bridge. Dagon appears to be amusing himself by torturing a few of the man-beasts.

Torture... so base. So cliche.

Dagon has overlooked something. As he fed you, he neglected to take into account your growing intellect. Octopi are surprisingly smart, you know. You are a massively powerful and fearsome beast, and it is time you made everybody suffer, not simply the man-things.

You hurl yourself into Dagon's realm, where the malignant energies there feed you. You grow to enormous, impossible proportions, and begin grappling Dagon. Your former master is taken completely off guard as you wrap your inky black body around his scaly hide and start crushing. He resists, wildly.

Roll to keep attacking, you're in the shit now.

rolled 13 = 13

>>13931038
time to rip the shit out of his flesh.
also, i'm the guy that rolled the 19 before, so here comes to 2.

rolled 10 = 10

>>13931038
I'm about to get us killed.

Attack the eyes!

rolled 8 = 8

>>13931038
oh god I'm probably going to fudge this but here goes

>>13930930
>>13930955
simple minded fools, Because of Lord Dagons dire influence, we are now a freakish monster Alpha Octopus. The females will burst into secretions of mating pheromones at the sight of us, we shall have a cephalopodian harem the likes of which no greasy human fetishist has dreamed of!

And all we had to do was turn down the first piece of octopussy that came our way. We could have been a normal jackoff domestic octopus.

DISREGARD BITCHES. ACQUIRE TEA.

there is an inkling of merit to this idea though. female octopii lay up to 57,000 eggs per nesting. if we spread our seed and nurtured it long enough for the young to grow, Dagon's strength would be legion.

>>13931072
too little too late

>>13931072

The Tea is a lie. It's only Earl Grey. Are all efforts are wasted. The Universe shall feel my wrath! I shall not go without tea much longer!

this is the best quest ever.

>>13931088
KNOW HUBRIS, TRAITOR, FOR THERE IS NO TEA IN DAGON'S DARK REALM!

THE TEA IS A LIE!

You rake your barbs against your former lord's skin, tearing off strips of sizzling flesh with each swipe! Your serrated beak and razor tongue jab and rip at his neck and shoulders. Black, rancid blood bubbles from the grievous wounds you are causing. Dagon flails, punching and clawing at your crushing arms. Small scores of wounds appear on your body, but they are like pinpricks to a whale.

Your vice-grip closes so tightly that you manage to squeeze one of Dagon's arms clean off! A bleeding stump is left where His arm used to be, and you begin pummeling him with his own appendage! He roars in shame and bitterness, He will not be denied His rule over the mortal world!

Roll to keep fighting!

rolled 11 = 11

>>13931150

rolled 15 = 15

>>13931150

FOR THE TEA!

rolled 2 = 2

>>13931150
Mine is the tentacle that will pierce the heavens!

And by heavens, I mean we're shoving two tentacles in the back door until they come out his mouth, and then tearing him in half.

rolled 1 = 1

>>13931150
for our dark dominion and the end of all things!

>>13931038
Try and stick a tentacle into whatever we can reach inside him and tear him from the inside.

Your grip begins to slacken, you cause no further damage to Dagon.

He wriggles his other arm free and begins clawing at you, shouting infernal curses in his aberrant tongue! You maintain your hold on his body, and continue to bite his throat.

Roll to stay on!

We need to keep our gloriously advanced eyes peeled for the KING CRAB, who's 100 foot wide carapace has been seen building an empire out of a downed aircraft carrier.

rolled 3 = 3

>>13931207
blood for the blood god

rolled 12 = 12

>>13931207

NO ONE IS MORE POWERFUL THAN I!

rolled 12 = 12

>>13931207

rolled 16 = 16

i've rolled a 19 and a 13, i won't be happy until i get a goddamn 20 and rip His head off!

>>13931215
for the sake of all of us im going to stop rolling now

Two 12, a 16 and a 3.

Not too shabby...

>>13931211
The Crab King sure was glorious.


Dagon hurls you from Him, trying to get his bearings once more. He is badly injured, and you have just yet begun to fight!

no amount of physical torment will conquer him, his flesh is the stuff of the outer darkness!

We must probe his wounds with our barbed tongue and pierce his black heart!

EAT HIS HEART, WEAR HIS SKIN! TEA AND BITCHES!

rolled 3 = 3

I WILL BE DAGON! A BETTER DAGON; ONE WITH TEA!

rolled 6 = 6

>>13931228
what the fuck, man. how do always roll so goddamn well?

>>13931260

TEA AND TOP HATS!

fucking dice karma man

we must play to our strengths, if he has eyes, we can blind them! fire ink jet!

rolled 12 = 12

>>13931289
Grapple him again! There is actually no way back, you don't come to Dagon with "Well, just kidding dude, let's go for a pub crawl now"

rolled 18 = 18

>>13931279
i dunno, but i'm feeling that my lucky streak is coming to a close.
but just in case it doesn't, take all of our remaining strength and plunge all eight of our squiggly, hooked appendages in to his chest and tear his black heart from it's vessel!

SAorry folks I'm experiencing some technical difficulties. Just give me a second here so I can re-orient myself.

rolled 15 = 15

>>13931279
i dunno, but i'm feeling that my lucky streak is coming to a close.
but just in case it doesn't, take all of our remaining strength and plunge all eight of our squiggly, hooked appendages in to his chest and tear his black heart from it's vessel!

rolled 1 = 1

>>13931289
Grapple him again! There is actually no way back, you don't come to Dagon with "Well, just kidding dude, let's go for a pub crawl now"

rolled 19 = 19

>>13931289
Don't worry I got this.

ink fire jet!

rolled 18 = 18

>>13931279
i dunno, but i'm feeling that my lucky streak is coming to a close.
but just in case it doesn't, take all of our remaining strength and plunge all eight of our squiggly, hooked appendages in to his chest and tear his black heart from it's vessel!
also, is it almost impossible for anyone else to post right now?

>>13931289
spray ink in his eyes and grapple onto his throat

rolled 3 = 3

Kill that motherfucker.

rolled 13 = 13

>>13931289
Grapple him again! There is actually no way back, you don't come to Dagon with "Well, just kidding dude, let's go for a pub crawl now"

>>13931309
Ink seems a good idea, use ink first.

Fucking technical difficulties out of nowhere.

I concur. Ink to the eyes, then latch back on.

>>13931331
>>13931332
I guess we disregard these both since they were posted due to 4chan lagging

You place all of your might into a final assault on your crippled God. You hammer him upside the head with your massive tentacles, and plunge them deep into his razor-lined mouth. He bites at you, trying to sever your muscular arms, but to no avail. You wrench open his mouth, breaking off his lower jaw as you drive yourself down into his gullet, your mighty beak being the only bony part of your body.

Inside Dagon, you begin pressing, expanding. You feel Him writhe in pain, attempting to get your giant body out of Him. It is of no use. You crush his organs, expanding to the point of tearing open his sides like an overstuffed pillow. Black ichor spews from his wounds as he utters a final, pathetic squeal in his death throes. You unfold yourself from Dagon's ravaged corpse, spreading your giant black tentacles as far as your can.

The other tortured fishmen of the Abyss surround you, and pledge allegiance to their new master.

dice 1d20

3 tentacles per leg, 2 for arm, beak attack at open wound

As we grapple him, find his largest, deepest wound and dig down into it. Use our dextrous cephelopod flexibility to ooze our way inside of him. There we shall extend our reach to all corners of his form, stealing from him all hope of resisting. We shalll tear and devour and violate him from the inside out, and make what was his OURS.

Hopefully /tg/ didn't eat my ending. Sorry if it was rushed, folks but the board suddenly experienced a huge slowdown.

First thing after this, go and kill a bunch of lobsters and attach their claws to the tips of our noble tentacles as enhanced CCWs.

And as for Dagon, leap valiantly against him, and use our beak to blind the bugger.

>>13931405
and NOW we can go to japan.

back to earth we go time to spawn minions

>>13931405
Well, fuck yeah.
Our reign shall begin

>>13931405
Locate Hydra, initiate copulation. On both her and anything else receptive to our cephelopod seed.

rolled 8 = 8

Let's invite Shub-Niggurath over for tea.

>>13931459

I think Japan needs to be a later goal. They're experienced Octopus fighters. We need to grind a bit on weaker enemies first.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/13928781/
archived.

>>13931510
Find Crab King. Make temporary alliance or cursh it for great xp. Then we hunt narwhals, and bathe in their blood... THEN we go to Japan. Possibly after integrating a whaler for our armor.

rolled 10 = 10

Destroy submarine. Acquire tey. Invite Shub-Niggurath

rolled 3 = 3

Also, throw a party for the minions. They don't get political change everyday, they aren't Russia in the nineties.

Bummer, OctOP seems to have gone.