Some say he repopulated a barren feral world by impregnating an entire monastery of of Sister of Battle... from orbit

And that he proved with quantum physics that love can indeed bloom on the battlefield.

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he's never had a plasma gun overheat on his watch.

Others say he's bested a Chaos Dreadnought in hand-to-hand combat - using only a swagger stick.

All we know is...he's called "The Ancient".

Some say, he once interrupted a duel, between Horus, and The Emperor.

And that he's got a bigger sex drive, than Slaanesh.

All we know is, he's called The Ancient!

Some say he gave the Admech the holy miracle of WD-40

And that he has a flat on Notting Hill with Malal the fifth God of Chaos

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he once pushed the Emperor down a flight of stairs, Golden Throne and all.

And that he once put out a sun by peeing on it.

All we know is he's called "The Ancient".

Some say he stole Doomrider's Bike to take Taldeer to prom.

And that he once beat a Necron Lord in a staring contest.

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he spends his holidays in Octavius.

And that he once beat Ferrus Manus in an arm wrestle.

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

>>14082674

Some say he vacations on Catachan.

Others say he was the last person to high five the Emperor and the first one to survive the experience.

All we know is...he's called "The Ancient".

Some say he once mistook this for a most interesting man in the world parody.

And that his favorite animal is a woodpecker.

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he helped Matt Ward write his codex

And that his shit smells so bad Nurgle covers his nose

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he single handedly filled the Blood Ravens' secret vault.

Others say his helmet was donated by the Emperor himself.

All we know is he's called "The Ancient."

Some say that he once stole a time machine to he could race sportscars on British TV.

Others say that >>14082869 may have missed the joke.

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he's the only Blood Raven to never "gift" relics.

Others claim that the sound of his voice can cure heresy.

All we know is that he's called "The Ancient".

Some say that it is in fact >>14082895 that missed the joke.

And that his helmet smells faintly of cheese.

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he once beat Creed at a game of chess.

Others say he was honored by the Emperor himself after he put an entire chaos cult to the torch by lighting one of his farts.

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he converted the Skull Throne into a recliner.

And that when hes around Red is better than Green.

All we know is he's called "The Ancient".

inb4 stig guilliman

Some say he once gave CPR to a dreadnought and succeeded.

And that he's the reason Orks paint everything red.

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

(thanks for putting up with my typos guys, working through the flu right now)

Some say that he can smell an epic thread from across the Galaxy.

Others say that he is on his way to this one right now.

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he has two black carapaces.

And that he goes drinking with the lost Primarchs on sundays.

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he eats alien horrors for a light brunch.

Some say he crys at country songs

All we know is he's not "The Ancient"

He's "The Ancient's Fat American Cousin"

SOME SAY...he's an angel sent by the Emperor to bring us all back to the fold of old-time rock & roll.

OTHERS SAY...he beat Doomrider in a cocaine-snorting contest.

ALL WE KNOW IS...he's called "The Ancient".

Some say that he taught the Grey Knights all that they know

Others say that he actually imprisoned the Void Dragon

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he has beaten Tzeentch at tic-tac-toe.

Others say that he has raped Slaanesh. Repeatedly.

All we know is that he's called "The Ancient".

Some say he fathered the Angry Marines by making passionate love to a rabid badger

And that Tzeentch frequently lurks his Twitter account.

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

Some say there was a secret chord,

This he played and it pleased the Lord

All we know is that he's called "The Ancient."

>>14083066
can't be rape if it's willing

Some say he was contained in a dreadnaught, and got better

Others say he ripped off Abaddon's arms

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say the rock opera he wrote in college can bring Noise Marines to tears.

And that he caused Konrad Curze to sleep with a night-light.

All we know is he's called "The Ancient".

So in all seriousness do we know who the ancient is yet?

Some say he Out drank Russ

Others say beat Horus in an race

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say his battle-barge was a modified land speeder

Others say that the Nightbringer fears his name

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he plays golf with Kharn the Betrayer every weekend.

And that he once beat Eldrad Ulthran in rock paper scissors.

All we know is he's called 'The Ancient'

Some say that he once tee-peed a Necron Monolith

And that Leman Russ named all his chapter's tanks after him in his honor

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

Some say we will advance the 40k plot

Others say he will lower the price for models

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

>>14083090

thatsthejoke.jpg

>>14083136
Well, I don't know....

But some say survived exterminatus...twice

Others say he IS the Greater Good

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he had to have organs *removed* to become a space marine

Others say he's a working STC

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

>>14083168
Okay, now you're just being ridiculous.

Some say he once advised Abaddon to change the name of his "Pink Crusade"

And that The Eldar "Craftworld" is named after the miniature hobby store he opened after college.

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

Some say his bolter fires warp missiles

Others say he kills his foes with a wink

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

How can I create a Deathwatch character to represent the ancient?

Some say he has the last remaining STC for Cadbury Creme Eggs

And that he has had deep, meaningful conversations with a Culexus Assassin

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

>>14083235

Some say he would get a +50 to all stats

Others say that he would gain all Talents

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

>>14083249
Some say before Power Armor

Others say he doesn't actually wear power armor

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

Some say Eversor Assassins are injected with his testosterone

Others say that he is a 2500 point army

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he actually likes xenos... as long as they're covered in ketchup

And that he cuts his lawn with twin-linked assault cannons.

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he wrote Bears: The Mauling

Others say that he can out-rap MC Phylactery

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he closed a locker door on Ferrus Manus' hand so hard it stuck back in High School.

And that Gork and Mork are whichever HE wants them to be.

All we know is he's called "The Ancient".

Some say his geneseed can be used as a krak grenade, and that he has a tattoo of Roboute Guilliman on his buttocks....

All we know is he's called The Ancient.

Some say the Eldar are gay, for him

Others say that he needs no more dakka

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say that underneath his armor is another suit of armor.

And that he once visited a museum wearing a only a speedo.

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he endured longer than Tankred in a game of footsies
Some say he won the third war for Armageddon by glaring briefly in its direction from lightyears away...
All we know is... he's called the ancient

Some say he once donated an old putter to O'Shovah

And that Orks have painted him red to make red go faster

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he knows fifty-three different ways to say 'KILL' - and that fifty two of those ways are wrong.

All we know is, he's called 'The Ancient!'

Some say he ambushed Sly Marbo and drew a dick on his face

And that he's the reason you can't talk about Squa

Some say that daemons have to worry about being possessed by him.

And that he once took on a whole Hive in an all on one cage fight and won.

All we know is he's called "The Ancient".

Some say he can shoot farther than a Basilisk

Others say he deep strikes without a drop pod

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say hes the only Blood Raven who is a thief

Others say he causes Deathleaper to lose leadership

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

meh

Some say he makes the Angry Marines seem pleasant.

Others say he made Khorne cry like a little girl.

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he single-handedly killed 1000 plague marines with a bottle of Windex

And that his first word was "WAAAAAGH!"

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he gave the Tau the Ethereals as a joke.

Others say he shaves every morning with a C'tan phase blade.

All we know is he's called "The Ancient."

Some say he's already punched this cunt >>14083517 in the throat through both time and space, and that he did it using only his dick...

All we know is, he's called The Ancient

Ultramarines. Look at your spiritual liege. Now back at me. Now back at your liege. Now back at me. Sadly, he isn't me. But if you stopped venerating Guilliman and switched your allegiance to the Emperor, you could be like me. Look down. Back up. Where are you? You're on an Emperor class battleship, with the man your spiritual liege could be like. What's in your hand? Back at me. I have it. It's a bolter, blessed by the Fabricator General of Mars. Look again. The bolter is now diamonds. Anything is possible if your spiritual liege is the Emperor and not some bland primarch. I'm on a megathere.

Some say he's the one the Dark Eldar check their closets for at night

And that he does, indeed, know what REALLY happened to the Squats

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient."

>>14083012
Some say he created the Necrons because the universe seemed "too cheerful"

And that Lichtors never see him until it's too late.

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

>>14083576
This thread just turned gay.

>>14083592
>This thread is now diamonds.
FTFY

The ancient is tarkus

There I said it. Oh and Gabriel dies

Some say he relaxes by purging Genestealers from Space Hulks

Others say he punched an Ork Rok back into orbit

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he once turned down terminator honors because the armor "made his butt look big"

And that his artifact bolter "lil mama" actually fires power swords.

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he stared down the Eye of Terror so hard it blinked.

Others say that when he mentions Squats, the Inquisition acknowledges their existence.

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient."

Some say that he IS the Tyranid Hive Mind

And that he could drink Lemann Russ under the table

All we know is, he's called The Ancient.

Some say he created the Tau from a pack of Sea Monkeys "for the lulz"

And that he created the Astronomicon because his cell phone bill was too high.

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

(okay guys, I'm spent, have a good night!)

Some say he ate the other C'Tan

Others say he can cause an Exterminatus with an angry glare

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he made the first battle barge out of fisher price toys and a toothpick
Some say he brought about the Fall after he introduced the eldar to porn
All we know is he's called The Ancient

bum

some say that he naturally faces holy terra.

and that his penis is was the inspiration for nemesis force weapons.

All we know is...he's called the ancient

Some say he can archive threads in one request

Others say The Emperor worships him.

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say HE fucked Slaanesh out of the Eldar

And that he decides when Ork technology works

All we know is, he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he has schematics for a Heavier Bolter

And that nothing he does is ever As Planned

All we know is... he's called 'The Ancient'

Some say plasma weapons worry about him getting hot.

And that he once beat Leman Russ in a karaoke context.

All we know, is he's called "The Ancient."

Some say he is like a father to his metal boxes.

Some say he knows Steel Rain.

All we know is he's called "The Ancient"

Some say he's A CHICKEN, I TELL YOU! A GIANT CHICKEN!

>>14086428
That sounds highly unlikely.

Some say he's the stuff of legends.

Some call him "The Ancient."

We know him as Tarkus. Tactical Marine Sergeant.