atheist trolling belongs in
>>>/sci/
not here

I get the feeling your picture will bring something.
Bring something bad.

>>14098904
Ops not a troll you faggot.

I like the whole misconceptions things.

Poorly hidden troll is poorly hidden.

sage for religiofag trolling atheifags.

>>14098897
>find macguffin
>return macguffin
>unsuprising npc betrayal
>go to annother npc supposedly not aligned with betrayal npc
>That npc betrays us as well
>Disappointed evil npcs can't just pay me for completing a job.

>>14098897

seconded.

Also once I was a story teller in a forum RPG for a year. the players were surprised EVERY time during that year if they found out that an PC lied to them. Because I didn't tell them it's a lie, nor that it's a truth... ohh the naivety

>>14098897
love pulling this shit on players who are a little too savvy.
>citizens in a lower hive district all begin suffering from poor health and various digestive illnesses.
>acolytes investigate for nurgle cult
>the old pleb in charge of minding the water filtration system died of a natural causes on the job months ago and the system fell to shit.
>Party now merely has to get replacement parts within a month to restore the system before shit gets toxic.
>...
>all replacement parts stolen by tzeentch cult

>Party discovers a dead dog in the villagers' well.
if they needed the partys help to figure that out they deserved to die
>Villagers hire party to look for a missing traveler
why would they hire someone to search the guy they killed in the first place?
>He just has anxiety issues.
there are no psychologists in a fantasy setting, so that guy has to be burned as a witch/possessed/werewolf anyway.

so as a DM you try to fuck over your players to make yourself feel smart, while you're actually being stupid and dickish? good for you. dick.

lets move to bigger scale

sage

>>14098904
>>14098925
>>14098954
Just stop already you underage faggot.

>>14098945

if the traveller had enough money for from half of it the village can pay the adventurers then he was a pretty important guy, so lot of guy will notice that "hay this traveler with fuckhuge amount of money went missing near to this village"
So the village will move the blame to something else and hey, if the adventurers the hit first ask later type it can be work.

>>14098959
The man is right. Your choice in pictures was foolish.

>>14098966

I don't think so. It certainly attracted attention and points out that different kind of persons use different kinde of logic. It's the anon faults to always suspect trolling AND they don't read what the fuck is this thread about. I mean for fuck sake, if you read what was in the first post then you no it's not about religion and atheist.

>>14098952
...Too early and deep for this. tl;dr

>>14098961
thats not logic, but pretty much the opposite. it's not like there is anything mysterious about lone travellers disappearing in the wild with wolves, bears, orcs and worse shit. drawing attention to your crime by having someone investigate who would not have investigated without you hiring him is an unecessary risk.
PLUS, if you think a DMs job is to pull such lame shit just to go "hai i trolled you guise LOL", then you have a weird concept of what makes for a fun RPG campaign.

sage

Anon ALWAYS expects a troll. The fault was yours if this was not your aim but expecting understanding or sympathy on 4chan is full retard.

Try again.

>>14099008
You can't even fucking sage properly. Again, just stop and don't post again until you're an adult.

>>14099018
How about this, cuntsniff?

>>14098995

Yes. But if the traveller had THAT much money to afford a trick like this, then there is a good chance that someone connected to him or the money would come looking for him. So the villagers took a calculated gamble to try and make it seem as if he was eaten by monsters by hiring adventurers and feeding them false information.
Odds are the monsters have been eating various other travellers anyway, and if the Adventurers find and bring back evidence of this then the villagers will be able to claim that the monsters did it and they'll be in the clear.
If the adventurers actually clear the monsters out in their search, then even better, as it would open up new trade routes through forest as well as a new wood-logging industry.

It was a high risk/reward gamble that didn't pay off in this isntance.

>>14099021
Aww look everybody! His first sage.

>>14098985
definitely worth the read though mate

>>14098897
i think i all depends on how the GM executes the story-line. is he micheal bay or chritopher nolan?

>>14099021
>Bunch of trolls harassing a village
>PCs called in to deal with the problem
>Turns out it was just one kid with a troll suit and too much free time.

Also, this is more or less the plot of M. Night Shamalamadingdong's "The Village"

>>14099035

Which he stole from one bridge puzzle in Monkey Island 1.

Where's the fun in this shit? I don't go to play a game expecting that the GM is gonna put me into a setup where I expect adventure but, in reality, I'm dealing with mundane, boring bullshit. If you never get tired of this, then you're a mundane, boring shit... and the most interesting thing about you is the poor choice of pic you used to start your thread.

Sage because OP is a faggot for his pic choice

>>14098943
This one made me laugh.Throwing the party through the fantastic for utterly mundane reasons is much more interesting than the party doing mundane things for fantastic reasons

>>14099030
dude i totally got that the first time. it just DOES. NOT. MAKE. SENSE.
they could have claimed that ALL ALONG! there was no reason for suspicion!
it's not fucking CSI:DnD! medieval-type fantasy worlds are not exactly known for police/forensic science/people who care. it is a stupid idea. period. repeating the villagers retarded plan doesn't make it less retarded.

>>14099076

Remember those D&D plothook lists we used to add to? I'm pretty sure there was stuff like that in it.

Yeah here we go:

>78. Powerful cleric who continuously manifests stigmata-like supernatural wounds believes himself to be second coming of a god, incites holy crusade; turns out he's just a clumsy fucker.

Or
>1. Thieves break into houses, steal nothing, refuse to leave.
>2. Thieves break into houses, redecorate poorly

>17. During daily tour, prestigious magic academy looted by goblins disguised as ugly children.

>22. Party endlessly pursued by screaming fans, accompanied by catchy 60s rock.
>23. Inaccurate historical re-enactment attracts ire of necromancer history buff.

>27. Half-ogre lint merchant and half-drow nobleman's hot jailbait daughter harbor forbidden love.
>28. Effeminate prince mistaken for princess and dragon who has captured him harbor forbidden love.
>29. Earth elemental and gelatinous cube harbor forbidden love.
>30. Society plagued by freakish crossbreeds.

>>14099095

and what about this: the village can say whatever they want. I mean yeah sure they can say that a monster eat the traveler. But they are just a bunch of peasants, nobody would believe them. So they pay a few adventurer to look like they are serious. And for the reason that fuckrich traveler friends don't obliterate the village without a question

>>14099095
DnD: CSI? I am tempted to try this now.

>>14099099
Oh god, that made me laugh. Where can I find these lists?

>>14099099

full list

>>14099110DnD: CSI? I am tempted to try this now.

speak with dead
scrying
detect evil

>>14099095
>DnD isn't CSI:Ye Olde Englande
>A setting with an entire school of scrying spells, speak with the dead spells and where the gods see everything and can be reliably contacted.

Seriously, if I was trying to commit murder and get away with it in D&D, I'd make damn sure those wizards don't feel the need to get out that spellbook and waste those expensive spell components on a hunch.

If they DIDN'T attempt to supply an explaination as to what happened to the traveller, then somebody would have appeared, looking for answers of his own. Maybe this guy's an epic level mage and you killed one of his minions? Maybe if he doesn't have any forthcoming answers as to what happened to his Jew Golds he's going to start asking Kord or the servants ghost for answers? MAYBE HE ISN'T GOING TO LIKE THE ANSWERS HE GETS. MAYBE HE DECIDES TO TEST OUT IF THE LOCATE CITY NUKE WORKS INSIDE A VILLAGE.

>>14099120

My list goes up to 215, want me to copy the rest?

>>14098897
Please see rebuttal pic for counter-troll.

Honestly, I think those setups are a little lame. Your players will get annoyed easily, and you'll likely lose your group.

>>14099137
Nice /sci/ pic.

>>14099095
>>14099108
Or perhaps the villagers are, in fact, stupid.

I fill my campaigns with stupid NPC's. It's the only way to make my players feel smart.

>>14099135
Fuck it. I'll do it anyway.

101. Celestial stadium crashes down, holds a "Mr. Multiverse" pageant.
102. King is kidnapped by ninjas. Players take a temporary level in "Bad Dude" during the rescue.
103. Giant shapeshifting constructs wage war within civilization, disguising themselves as wagons, barrels, cottages and ballistas.
104. Warforged devises complex mathematic equation to reproduce biorhythm and becomes a seeker of the song
105. Taverns are swept up in competitive craze that uses a team of bards to produce an illusionary rhythm/dance game. Orcs begin to form teams and dominate.
106. Gnome bards and illusionists collaborate to invent the first raves. Morning commerce is brought to a screeching halt.
107. Bardic college sells out to rich, tasteless orcs seeking degrees. Causes media notoriety as their works revolve entirely around how big their hoards are.
108. Princess kidnaps a dragon.
109. Frost-themed lich freezes town, protection of his phylactery in the streets turns into a hockey match.
110. Drow men beg for help building self-confidence, attempt to form a masculinist movement.
111. Horselord attempts to cease equine oppresion in city.
112. King rules that all citizens wear masks in his likeness. King is actually a mask for his advisor, a master of masks, trying to mask the nation with his maskulinity.
113. Illusionist painter turns caricatures of the adventurers into ugly lopsided competitors.
114. Kobold New Year causes fireworks riot and brings chromatic dragons into the nearby city for distant family reunions.

>>14099137
>Your players will get annoyed easily
I’m glad you speak for every group ever made.

>>14099150
116. Earth elemental steps and sits on people to avenge his kin.
117. Giant's cloud castle blocks the sun, jeopardizing an entire region's crops. An arcane academy trains heroes as primitive astronauts to combat the giant in a magic ray firing ship.
118. Necropolitan street race circuit raises hell and illegal bets.
119. Heroes spy on hobgoblin battalion to track them to their hidden base. The battalion gets themselves and the adventurers lost in a desert.
120. Two rat familiars of an wizard's academy secretly plot world conquest.
121. Heroes become outcasts in a nation of carnies.
122. Metal construct runs laps full speed through walls, houses and castles without rest. heroes make various attempts to stop the metal.
123. Gnome-kobold marriage takes place, heroes try to prevent all-out war at the reception.
124. LOL BODYSWAP.
125. An order of holy knights become despised by virtually everyone. They seek out people to help them learn the "pal" in "paladin."
126. Heroes manage a tribe.
127. Heroes manage a band.
128. Heroes manage their finances.
129. Magic item causes a man to become a versatile construct inspector.
130. Party explores an empty castle, only to find it in a completely different land every time they walk out. Discover it's being carried off by an indecisive formian colony

>>14099157
131. Potion brewers across the land have their memories of ingredients wiped and replaced with soda recipes.
132. Chaotic clerics of Fharlanghn tamper with town intersections to lead into completely different planes.
133. Obese head of a thieves guild sends jetpack riding assassin after adventurers.
134. Giants form a collectivist nation and invent cross-continent rock catapults. Mutually assured boulder fights loom over the horizon.
135. Prince runs away and becomes an escort.
136. Bachelorette sea witch starts hurricanes out of lonely rage.
137. Heroes are pursued by deadly mobs of housecats.
138. Warriors of the underdark fight tooth and nail in a tournament with their eyes exclusively on 3rd place.
139. Dwarf fighter competes in a dance-off to win back his wife. Old habits die hard and blood is shed.
140. Quickdraw goblins rule a desert town.
141. Wealthy dwarf avenges his parents' death by fighting crime in the night.
142. Tiefling, half-elf and half-orc youths swamp marketplaces with subcultures of self-harm, tight clothing and bad music.
143. Celestials and fiends take their eternal battles to the card tables.
144. Giant intelligent bastard sword crashes through royal castle and claims kingdom for his affiliates.
145. Low ceilings make for literal dungeon crawls.

>>14099137
Could you, maybe, burst into flames for me?

>>14099163
146. Adventurer's new best friend is a Joystealer.
147. Elf and halfling boy bands square off.
148. Barbarian warlord's birthday approaches. Chaos ensues.
149. Aristocrats of a city popularly store all of their magic treasures at the top of tall spires. Magic feedback gives the spires arms, legs, sentience and a demand for rights as citizens.
150. An all-undead band by the name of "Lich's Bitches" returns to revive a demonic troll.
151. Epic barbarian hosts a "heaviest motherfucker alive" contest. Participants pack as much crap as they can carry to win. Tiebreaker is a foot race.
152. Horselord/blackguard terrorizes land with manless cavalry.
153. Svirfneblins invent bouncing rubber cannonballs.
154. Barbarian hordes discover the hot air balloon.
155. Teenage prince and princess of separate lands create long and angst-ridden drama. The people call out for a dragon.
156. Metropolitans become necrosexual.
157. Necropolitans become metrosexual.
158. Sahuagin queen becomes ruler of all pirates. Ports are pillaged of only their fish, jewelry and chocolate.
159. Dwarf lord and a dragon have a steamy affair, leaving both their hoards unguarded.
160. Sea hags pick up sunbathing. Coastal trade comes to a screeching halt.

>>14099095

>it's not fucking CSI:DnD!

That's why the village hired a random group of adventurers and not a detective. They would assume the adventurers would never be able to see through their plot, but it still looks like they are actively going above and beyond their duty to find this missing VIP.

They might even get rewarded for their efforts in finding the VIP. This wasn't just a high risk, high reward scenario.. this was potentially a high risk, enormous reward scenario. The villagers were geniuses... the only way they could improve their plot would be to ambush the PC's once they caught on to the plot... thereby eliminating the evidence of their wrongdoing, and making it pretty damn obvious that these woods are extremely dangerous. "We lost 2 search parties and 10 people searching for Mr *VIP*, we did all we could".

>>14099168
161. Hextor clerics monopolize postal service by riding Achaierais.
162. Newbie vampires get stuck in clocktower.
163. Clocktower gets stuck in Tarrasque.
164. Tarrasque gets stuck in ice.
165. Ice gets everyone stuck.
166. King picks up steambike riding, goblin bikers attempt kidnapping.
167. Mountain colony of dancing, spectacle and suit wearing dopplegangers fight against an aberration invasion.
168. Heroes enroll in adventuring academy, cue highschool drama.
169. Fire elemental becomes a cleric of Heironious. Hextor clerics immediately finance a fire brigade.
170. Mimics invade town, people are afraid to open their doors at the risk of a surprise punch to the face.
171. Lizardfolk steal sizable amount of the bananahoney produced by a howler wasp colony. Entire jungle turns to hell.
172. Mindflayers with magic crossbows! Ray gun massacre!
173. Blackguard raids 40 villages of their cakes, and that's all kinds of terrible.
174. Four psionic juveniles with clubs wage all-out war on animals, aberrations, property and the elderly, believing themselves to be the sole hope of an alien invasion.
175. Sea trolls learn to windsurf. No ship is safe.

>>14099135
>>14099150

>>14099172
176. Dragon Turtle kidnaps myconid royalty, Adventurers not sure which castle she's in.
177. Wereboar bugbear lord attempts to topple a small elven province with 88 of his finest men.
178. Halfling militia forms when many are sick of being picked up and cuddled and incite a race war.
179. New continent reveals stone age culture. Adventurers rule tribes and fight dinosaurs.
180. Class of warmages seek conquest and derive their power through their excessively styled hair, but are helpless in the presence of baldness.
181. Gnome effigy master by the name of Dr. Wire wreaks havoc with multiple theme-oriented constructs.
182. Barbarian holds a "hugeness" contest followed by a wrestling match.
183. Devil rises from infernal depths in search of the most "metal" man alive to imbue with his powers.
184. Orcish tribes "reinvent the wheel" as a rolling death machine.
185. Dwarven king is dying without an heir and looks for the most rugged looking man alive to take his place.
186. Circus full of cat burglars and bomb jugglers comes to town.
187. Evil monastery attempted to train a rust monster in their ways, instead creating a rust monster on speed.
188. Kraken wizards construct giant flying bathtubs to terrorize landdwellers.
189. Socially inept commoner finds a +2 keen "exotic bastard sword" and immediately goes out to become an assassin.
190. Warlocks all over the land bend over in preparation of their simultaneous pact renewal. Demons flood the world but commit no horror other than public indecency.

>>14099153
so you're saying that, if your DM kept sending you on wild goose chases to solve mysteries with perfectly mundane origins, you'd be OK with it?

>>14099164
Mmm.... nope. Sorry. I'm not capable of spontaneous combustion.

>>14099177
191. Anthropomorphic cultists invade and do the unspeakable. Heroes just happen to find a slew of fire-producing weapons and items.
192. Necropolitan pimp writes a best-selling self-help book. The damning ritual of his unlife becomes available on coffee tables the world over.
193. Performer somehow becomes a military advisor and turns bootcamps into schools of dance.
194. Enemy marshal "Harry Pep" trains invading soldiers to charge into combat in barrels.
195. Adventurers are assigned to "rid the kingdom" of the lecherous and clearly insane cleric "Grigor Tinrasp," but the man somehow survives every attack on his life.
196. Young fiend commits violent and terrible acts on the world and hides away in a dungeon made out of permanent dimension doors and bags of holding.
197. Masked lord plots gunpowder assassination against the wrong monarch.
198. Rocks die, everyone falls.
199. Dice falls. Everyone rocks.
200. Barbarians on Bears menace Queendom.
201. Bears on Horses menace Queendom.
201. Freddie Mercury menaces Bears.
202. King divides Kingdom amongst three sons. PCs are his bardic troupe of fools.
203. King is evil, Grand Viser is good, and is secretly plotting to overthrow King.
204. Dwarves have dug too deep, and unleashed a long held back tide of good, sparkles, rainbows, and unicorns at the centre of the world. Party has to stop the apocalypse of unification with the godhead and preserve free will against the will of the creatrix. Bonus points for Good / Lawful Party.
205. Party are food health inspectors by Royal Warrant with unlimited powers of entry, search and seizure. Forced by constant court demands to act as a Secret Police and Political Police. But every arrest must be made on food safety grounds.

>>14099179
It was worth asking. In that case, I must curse you.

YOU WILL NEVER LEAVE NOO'AHLEENS.

>>14099186
206. The local magistrate is unjust, He is battled by a band of rangers who wear tights.
207. The party are militant atheists. *Militant* atheists. 30 level game.
208. Evil witch escapes from the demiplane she was imprisoned in 10,000 years ago, powerful wizard orders his construct to recruit five adventurers with attitude to stop her.
209. Party is mid level and dropped into a forest by a wizard to kill the enemy, all of the enemy. (The enemy is the forest).
210. Your party wakes up real pissed and just start killing. (I’m aware it’s not very original)
211. Goblins hire you to defend their dungeon from adventurers for a year.
212. 3 awakened toads against an increasingly unfair set of obstacles and opponents.
213. Players must compete in a game of skill and reflexes against a young Deaf, Dumb and Blind Wizard, or give up their crown.
214. Players go to investigate a mysterious loss of contact from a remote village. It turns out to be nothing.
215. Players forced to fight in gladiator arena, lambasted and jeered by crotchety but hilarious pair of old fogeys.

That's all of them.

>>14099179

man that would be fucking wonderful. I always loved stories like this. No wizard did it or SCIENCE bullshit, just plain obvious

>103. Giant shapeshifting constructs wage war within civilization, disguising themselves as wagons, barrels, cottages and ballistas.

I read ballistas as barristas.
I lol'd.

>156. Metropolitans become necrosexual.
>157. Necropolitans become metrosexual.

>>14099179
>Wild goose chases
So you have to be lead by the nose and refuse any campaign that expects you to work things out.

‘Kay.

>213. Players must compete in a game of skill and reflexes against a young Deaf, Dumb and Blind Wizard, or give up their crown.

Tommy?

>>14099202
I think you're supposed to read that, and then hear this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3DoNzZIKbk

MANUALLY.

>>14099179

>implying that its not the PC's job to go on wild goose chases

>>14099208

Yup.

When /b/ kept cross board trolling their WHEN I WAS threads a while back, I liked to somewhat hamfistedly hijack them with lyrics from pinball wizard.

Oh The Who, you were always consistently better than Led Zep.

>>14099192
>>14099186
>>14099177
>>14099172
>>14099168
>>14099163
>>14099157
>>14099150

>>14099218

I don't really believe you're capable of counter-hijacking /b/ trolls.

>>14099150
>princess kidnaps a dragon
>completelylostmyshit.jpg

>>14099190
Actually, I rarely go there anymore, except for specific errands. The traffic is ridiculous, and I have a crappy sense of direction.

>>14099186
>189. Socially inept commoner finds a +2 keen "exotic bastard sword" and immediately goes out to become an assassin.
OK, I laughed my ass off at that one.
>211. Goblins hire you to defend their dungeon from adventurers for a year.
I've run that one before.
>212. 3 awakened toads against an increasingly unfair set of obstacles and opponents.
Without healing magic or resurrections

>>14099226

I wasn't. As it turns out.

>>14099233
>212. 3 awakened toads against an increasingly unfair set of obstacles and opponents.
>Without healing magic or resurrections

For the next campaign they team up with a pair of monks who don't know how to block, dodge or duck, and rely near constantly on flying kicks that do little to no damage.

>>14099192
>208. Evil witch escapes from the demiplane she was imprisoned in 10,000 years ago, powerful wizard orders his construct to recruit five adventurers with attitude to stop her.

I've run that campaign before

>>14099244
campaign after that is the players trying, desperately, to seek out the toads at every temple and magic college in the land, but nobody has heard of them.

Local librarian is driven to wits end as selected words from books are eaten by a creature only known as the muncher.

>>14098897
In all three situations the OP described, "a wizard did it" or other supernatural assumptions were made about mundane things due to a lack of wanting to understand the the situation.

That DOES sound rather familiar...

>>14099503

voting that this page gets archived.

not sure what to call it, hence it not being archived.

>177. Wereboar bugbear lord attempts to topple a small elven province with 88 of his finest men.
Is this based on a Legend of Zelda game?

>>14100484
By jove, the man is right.

>>14100484

Possibly. I know there's an Earthbound one in there. Plus I think number 18 is a Mortal Kombat reference.

Might be grasping at that though.

>>14100490
but which one involves Gannon trying to take over Hyrule with 88 men? That's what I'm curious about.
Is it the newest one? Skyward sword or whatever?

>>14100500

Maybe the first game only has 88 enemies in it?

>>14100500
I'm not sure....it might even be referencing a specific Zelda game, but
>Wereboar bugbear lord attempts to topple a small elven province
just screams 'Ganon'

>Party hears about supposed werewolf problem
>They find the werewolves half dead from starvation, injuries and illnesses
>Turns out the villagers are xenophobic and attacked the peaceful werewolves without provocation
>After nursing them to health, team up with werewolves and burn down the village, converting surviving villagers to werewolves which utterly breaks their spirit

>>14100595
>peaceful werewolves
Bitch, please. Even if they're not eating people, they're eating the local game and livestock.

>>14100595
That's so DAO.

>>14100606
>eating the local game
Well no shit, the villagers are probably killing and eating the local game too.

>>14100620
They could be vegans dude.

>>14100620
Exactly. And werewolves kill far more than they eat, even compared with humans. They HAVE to go if the community is going to maintain this food supply.

>>14100737
>werewolves kill far more than they eat,
Citation needed.

>>14100606
>eating the local game and livestock.
Eating game and livestock??? What double-bastards they are.
-protip, back in the olden days PEOPLE used to eat game and livestock.

>>14100743

You... You want a citation on a completely fictional race?

Okay, uh...

>Werewolves are agressive territorial animals that do not usually operate in packs unlike true wolves. However when they do form packs, the social dynamics between the members of the pack quickly fall in line to something similar to that of ordinary wolves. The Alpha will often secure his positions with demonstrations of his strength and capacity for viciousness. Usually enacted on local animals of humanoids as a warning to prospective usurpers. >Conversely said usurpers may promote their own suitability for the Alpha position with their own violent muderous displays in front of potential allies within the pack. It is this violent social structure that makes Werewolf packs such a disruptive force within agrarian societies. Often these societies must react quickly and firmly to stamp these problem animals out. Usually they will hire professional adventurers for this task, although some kingdoms have been known to maintain specialised soldiers for such a purpose.

>>14100743

sounds like you are a werewolf friend...

>>14100786

so explain to me why are you teaming up with the xenos

>>14100811
>>14100819
Oh look, 40kid samefaggot shitting up a thread.

>>14100743
The Werewolf of Paris (1933) for one, it is the definitive granddaddy of 20th century and later werewolf fiction.

>>14100806
Well, it says they kill them, not that they don't eat them afterwards.

>>14100828

Huh. So it does, I got so into writing I forgot the original point. Whoops.

>>14100811
>>14100819

Someones jelly because of werewolves being more evolved than humans.

>>14100897
>Implying werewolves are species as opposed to a form of magic rabies.

You forgot scenario 115.

>pplot 1987,

>>14100946
>implying rabies is not a highly-evolved virus species

>>14101004
>implying evolution is a factor in a magical setting.

What's all this nonsense about werewolves? Everyone knows fishmen are the superior race. Weak humans can't even breathe underwater, jahahaha.

>>14099157
>Heroes manage their finances

CAPITALISM, HO!

>>14101084

This series is ripe for some Humanity, Fuck Yeah fanfiction.

I remember once when my DM threw a curveball at my character.
>Paladin who believes all undead are evil abominations that must be destroyed
>Hear about a vampire living in a village, set out to destroy vampire
>Find out vampire is a 15-something girl who was turned into a vampire by her wizard dad because she had an incurable illness
>Said girl is good, is beloved by the entire village, only feeds on willing subjects, and is the village's only line of defense against nearby goblin tribes
>my character's face when

>>14101397
destroy the unholy abomination, it is the only choice for a Lawful Good Paladin

>>14101397
>>14101514

It really is, too.
You played "Lawful Good."
Not "Logical Good."

In order to follow the tenets of your beliefs, she has to die.
Otherwise-- you fall.

>>14101190
>capitalism, ho
The next time we run into a town where the merchants are charging so much that locals can barely afford anything, I'm having my party open an item shop like that one.

Fuck those merchants.

>>14101397
>hey a vampire
>LOL BUT IT'S A LOLI WHAT NOW WANNA FALL HUH WANNA FALL?!
Wow your DM is a shit sucking sack of feces.

>>14101514
>>14101552
My character went with a "third option", so to speak.
He trained the villagers to defend themselves, then went and found a cure for the illness (which had become curable in the two hundred-odd years since she was turned into a vampire) and a "cure" for her vampirism (which was a "pseudo-vampirism" curse, not actual vampirism). This way the villagers can defend themselves, and the abomination is ended without having to kill the girl.

>>14101591
wow that fucking lame what was the name of the loli?
pinkypie?
you were playing in advanced little pony?

>>14101591

Curing her vampirisim didn't bring back her original disease?
Or did you cure that, too?

>>14101629
You. Please stop posting. Being a paladin doesn't mean being a self-righteous asshole.
>>14101636
If you read the post, you'll notice it says the disease became curable in the intervening 200-odd years.

>>14101636
Cured that, too. She'd been vamped 200 or so years before my character happened along, and in the meanwhile a cure had been found.
>>14101629
It was all a setup on the DM's part. Turns out that the current big-bad-evil-guy had become a vampire through the same "curse" as the girl, so we used the cure on him too to bring him down to a level where we could fight him (as opposed to having him mop the floor with us in four rounds).

>>14101728

I did it to get more details out of him.

>>14101737

Your GM is SOFT!

>>14101991

>Come to a wide plainsland
>Poor harvests, bandits and a new king has created a dustbowl
>Hordes of hobos assail the capital
>Murders happens
>Vengeful daughter of a disgraced stonemason is blamed
>Party sent to kill her by the order of the king
>Turns out that those murders were committed by the hobos in sheer desperation (food, clothing and shelter was sparse)
>King was a douchebag who wanted the girl dead due to a long feud with her father

>>174. Four psionic juveniles with clubs wage all-out war on animals, aberrations, property and the elderly, believing themselves to be the sole hope of an alien invasion.

I'm guessing this is a reference to something, but I have no idea what.

>>14102266
it's been a while since i read it, but Sgt. Frog maybe?

>>14102266
Sounds like Earthbound to me.

>>14099120

63 and 97 have to be my favorites on that list. 63 especially, I would love to see that in a campaign.

>>14099179

216: Schizophrenic man gets possessed by horde of evil demons. The voices in his head cancel out and he lives the rest of his life as a happy, well mannered, productive member of society.