I one time played Ironclaw.

Vaporious. The players had originally gone there looking for an Eldar ruin, but had struck up trading ties with a priest-king who controlled access to an energising liquid which renders the imbiber utterless fearless as an incredible feeling of well-being passes over them. Unbeknownst to the party, continued doses of this drink rendered the drinker incredibly susceptible to the priest-king's psychic will, following him as a willing slave.

They've gone back there as part of the Rogue Trader's attempt to sieze control of Footfall, becoming a Legend of the Expanse in the process. They came up with a plan to construct a crystal throne for the priest-king, filled with a core of promethium, rigged to a remote detonator. If the king gets uppity, they blow him sky-high. So. They make their way in, the Kroot player leaps out of the guncutter on the way over the city as something of an insurance policy in case something goes wrong.

The populace consider the party to be almost like demigods from their previous encounter, throwing garlands of desert flowers before their feet, offering sips of their water, anything to show their love and admiration. Several of the smaller children attempt to clamber up onto the shoulders of the power-armoured Voidsman, generally getting in the way. The procession eventually ends within the palace, where the priest-king greets them and expresses pleasure at the tribute the party have paid him, immediately ordering that his current throne be discarded. They exchange pleasantries for a while before getting down to business, attempting to acquire a larger supply of the water to expand their operations on Footfall, where the drink has become a favoured delicacy amongst the nobles. They haggle for a while, before the priest-king acquiesces, suggesting that they seal the deal with a deep draught of the water.

In the previous encounter, two of the characters had drunk deeply of the water, whereas the Rogue Trader himself had managed to dispose of his without it touching his lips. Since then, the two had become obviously addicted, even getting into a fist-fight over the last urn aboard ship when they were stranded in the Warp once. The Rogue Trader looks down at the glass, looks back up, and simply says "No" before tipping it to one side, letting it all pour out on the floor. entire chamber is dead silent, but completely aghast at this desecration of the priest-king's generousity. The king himself slams a fist down on the armrest of his new throne and lashes his will out at the Rogue Trader, attempting to compel him to kneel down and lick the water off the tile. It's a close-fought battle of wills, but ultimately the Rogue Trader's refusal to brook any insult wins out, prompting him to hurl his goblet to the ground and draw his hammer. "I will not be controlled, you ignorant SAVAGE."

Priest-king's hands claw around the armrests, but his features slip once more into benign contempt as he surveys the rest of the group. "Perhaps not you, no. Your companion, however..." With a wave of his hand and a gentle mental nudge, the Seneschal has his rifle drawn and pointed at the Rogue Trader's head in an instant. Resisting the order to fire with a herculean force of will, he instead draws his daemonblade and uses the boundless rage within to break free of the control.

The Rogue trader steps forward, pointing an imaginary gun at the priest-king's head. "I've had enough of your parlour-tricks. Die." The Kroot has, by this time, managed to sneak into an upper window of the palace and lined up a perfect shot with his krootbow. Fires it full-auto, landing a perfect hit in the head. King's head becomes separated from his body, with one of the crossbow bolts impaled in the crystal of the throne. King's body slumps to the ground, spraying blood like a Kurosawa film.

>>14169417
Go on...

Cue a desperate attempt to get their teleport homer set up before the thousands of enraged townsfolk swarm them. They had to hold out for fifteen rounds at the door, fighting them off. Started off at a +60 combat challenge, each round got harder to defend as more people crowded in/better equipped soldiers joined the fray. By the end, two of the three people holding the door were down to 0 wounds, an entire phalanx of soldiers was charging up the steps of the palace, and the Rogue Trader was preparing to hit the remote detonator on the throne, just to take as many of them out with him as he could.

As he teleports out, the Rogue Trader hits the detonator. Back on the bridge, their pictcaster has a lock on what was once the city, now little more than a smouldering glassed crater.

Then they went back down and hunted rock-golem creatures.

>>14169446
There has to be more!

>>14169417
>>14169430
>>14169446

I WANT TO JOIN YOUR CREW

>>14169390
Well we've only started our campaign, but we have a fairly interesting crew going including

*A giant hulking lady rogue trader captain
*A Samurai Arch-Militant who's doesn't know she's an untamed psyker.
*A winged mutant Void mistress who's also a blank.
*A voodoo astropath with a pet grox and a flock of tribal servo skulls
*a short russian engiseer powered by vodka
*A pirate ork with a singing squig

So how can we deal with more puritan types without being killed?

>>14169728
Shoot first.

>>14169728
IRC channel?

>>14169751
We tried that once with the admech with old group, didn't work out so well

>>14169776
Oddly yes, on the suptg servers

>>14169802
When's the next game would love to listen in.

>>14169810
12:00 GMT Sundays in #rtooc or #roguetraders

Hopfully this wont lead to our next game where a slack of people watch on, hoping something super awesome happens

>>14169845
The first game with ThatGuy led to the ship's first officer accidentally being shot in the back by the rogue trader and a declaration of mutiny. Awesome things were something of a par for the course.
>>14169476
Egh, shit. There wasn't much after that point, the campaign was winding down due largely to a loss of enthusiasm on my part. The only real standout moments after that that I can recall were a race to find an artifact aboard a space hulk before it was destroyed by the Imperial Navy, between the Explorers and the retinue of Lord Winterscale. That ended with a one-on-one duel between the two warrant-bearers in the middle of the hulk, which at this point was beginning to break apart due to gravitic anomalies. Leaping from floating grav-plate to spinning rock, blades clashing in the red light of warning klaxons from the blackship they'd wrested the artifact from... That ended with the sniper-seneschal blowing Winterscale's head apart. His employer was unamused. The seneschal later got so corrupt that he spontaneously burst and turned into a bloodletter in the middle of Footfall.

That campaign ended with my burning their character sheets. Now they've spent about 4 sessions looting manors on Grace, reacting with surprise and indignation when I can't be bothered to keep making new and interesting things for them to find.

Current game as a Arch Militant we have encountered a non imperial human world that is basicaly a modern day earth. Right now they believe that we are their first contact.

>>14170917
I should mention that we only found because we picked up their radio signals. Pop Music

Missionary mad?

Just finished a massive 10+ sessions long planetary invasion.

Spacebattles, Airassaults, Huge armies clashing together, it had it all.

In the end it was just 3 of the partymembers + the last remnants of my honor guard outside the planetary governors office.

Epic fight with his most loyal arbiter soldiers, while the governor ran away to activate some superweapon we had only heard rumors off.

A few minutes later, the systems sun turned bright purple, and any solid objects touched by the sunlights disintigrated at random.

Everyone in the system started to hear strange whispers coming from inside their own head.

We finally fought our way through his last guards, and got into the centre of the device.

Some massive instanity losses later, a short firefight, and some superemely lucky logic rolls later, we managed to shut down the device. When deactivated it was just a small metallic ball, hovering above the ground.

Its currently hidden aboard my ship, nice to have a fallback option incase you ever get into serious trouble!

>>14170982
I assume the governor was a traitor.

>>14170992
I think he'd probably earned himself the title of Arch-Heretic by that point.

I've got a story for you. A story about the best Rogue Trader group we've ever had. At their helm was Captain Hercules Lucullus Skywalker Master-Commander Poirot. Oh yeah. That kind of Rogue Trader. The rest of us (including me-the Seneschal and Grand Chef-Nero Lupe) had a role in this story, but mostly it was him. I'd follow that man into hell.

Here's the tale. It revolves around this little world called Caliginous VIIII. Not IX. No, VIIII. And there lay the problem. The local government refused to conform to the standard Imperial planetary designation system, and this had caused them to not be visited by Imperial vessels in over a century. When Captain Poirot found it on an old star-chart, and then cross checked it with his cousin and captain of our second, smaller ship (The Temporary Solution) Garret Yaridovich Hoplitus Shakespear, he found that it had once been a source of extremely valuable and dangerous-to-mine ores.

At his dinner table, after finishing the eighth course (saucisse minuit) it was addressed that we were going to have to do some actual work in the next 120 years, or we would have to switch to a cheaper wine. Poirot was infuriated, and over a rich dessert of honeyed lark tongues, we discussed this planet he had found, and what we were going to do. We'd first need to contact someone there, and learn about the situation behind their silence. Maybe they were all dead? Then maybe we could move in and just take the planet!

Well, no such luck. After dinner, we had astropaths try and contact people on Caliginous VIIII, but it kept coming up dark. It was only eventually that someone answered, some scared kid who asked if we were 'Tau.'
I remember the look on Poirot's (player's, but I think the character's too) face when he heard that. First it grew pale, then the eyes went low, and to the left, and then looked up, and for a moment the most splitting trollgrin graced his face.

>>14171264
We said no, was the long story short, and asked him what the situation was. Apparently the Greater Good had reached Caliginous VIIII. They had become a recent addition to the Tau Empire, and the Imperial sympathizers there (including the former king and his retainers) were growing restless under their yoke. The folks of Caliginous VIIII were a vibrant and violent lot, used to telling others to go to hell when asked to bend the knee.

The Tau had pushed them into line with orbital bombardment and occupation forces (Kroot, particularly,) but the planet was, despite a century of control by them, still rebellious and unyielding. They just weren't going to submit. They needed a savior. Well, that sounded good enough to us. We loaded up all of our best toys onto the Temporary Solution and our flagship, the Gift Horse, and set sail for high adventure!

When we arrived at Caliginous VIIII, we first became cognizant of two Tau vessels (merchant class, I believe) hovering over it. That they needed so much firepower there at all times was a good indicator of these peoples' spirit. We made contact, and the Captain introduced himself as a third party looking to trade, and try to find some old family of his. The Tau accepted this, because hey, they needed all the help they could get.

We went planetside, and spoke with some people (including the former king, now more like a public representative) to ascertain what exactly we were going to have to do to get a slice of this pie. The rebels hadn't sprung their revolt yet, they wanted guns, firepower, and a chance for the king to escape, and seek aid from the Imperium should they fail. We agreed. I oversaw the establishment of numerous warehouses filled with "mercantile goods" and the like, all across the major cities of the world, and we also ensured the presence of a hidden dropship in the resteraunt next to the king's home.
And then we called the Tau, and told them about the offer we'd been made.

Con't

>>14171264
F5F5F5F5F5

>>14171332
We had a couple of water caste boys over on our ship for dinner. Apparently they can't taste sour, which resulted in them disliking my food for its lack of zest. I've never been that close to shooting someone at a dinner table before.

Anyway, they discussed things with the Captain. He said he'd be willing to help them flush out this 'petty rebellion', if they would give him some mercantile rights to the planet's natural resources. They were uneasy about that, but offered him full cargo bays of whatever he wanted, and then the right to join the greater good and continue trading.

Captain Poirot turned to me and raised his eyebrows. I did some arithmetic, looked up, and said "Sir, we may have to cancel friday night partridge from now on."
Poirot's face was like a Balkan stone carving of Satan, for a moment, but then reverted to its pleasant demeanor, and turned back.
"Mon ami, we have ourselves a compact."

>>14171413
Well, Poirot had figured that the rebels would probably not allow us to enslave them and strip mine their world after they drove off the Tau-which would probably not have worked anyway-so we sold them out. The warehouse contents were moved elsewhere by cover of darkness, and we pointed out the location of the King's getaway shuttle to the Tau, who took it out the instant the rebellion started.

It was a massacre. Poor fellows never had a chance, an uprising without hope. Every rebellious element simultaneously stood up to make itself heard, and was shot down. We were congratulated for our participation in the pacifying of this world, and our holds filled with precious goods (from a safe distance from the planet's hostilities, of course), by the two Merchant Class vessels.

The Water Caste duo who had met us before came back on for a final dinner before we departed, and sat down at our table... Across from the King. Poirot was there next to him, with a little grey tube with a red button on it in his hand.

"What is the meaning of this!?" cried the male Tau.
"Vive le Roi." Said Poirot, and handed the king the detonator. During this, our men had been garroting their fire warrior escort in the next room, and the Arch Militant (Richard Simon Phoenix Riddick) stepped in, holding one of them bonding knives. The water caste looked back, catching a glance of the pile of their dead in the next room, and then back to us.
"You won't get away with this treachery!" the female exclaimed.
"Mister Lupe, please get me away with this treachery." the Captain said. I phone in the gunner crews, and had them open up.

>>14171450

>Mister Lupe, please get me away with this treachery

This is how you play a Rogue Trader. You don't get angry. You have people to do that for you.

>>14171450
We were actually in the process of loading cargo between their two ships and ours when we broadsided them. They were much larger ships than ours, but we were much richer than they were. We fired a melta torpedo straight from our cargo bays into theirs on either side, and lit up the night like Protoman, while the Temporary Solution flew straight down in front of us, between their two foresections, and emptied the broadsides into the delicious, unshielded hulls.

Total. Naval. Domination. But wait, there's more! In our dinner room, Riddick was kind enough to stay his hand while Poirot explained what was about to happen. The Tau's faces fell. Stark horror whitened those blue cheeks.
"WHY!?" they cried. Riddick and his second put the garrotes around them there, and pulled them back in their chairs, suffocating. Poirot leaned far, far over the table, and said, in the grimmest French tone I had ever heard.

"Because, mon ami, foie gras."
With that, the King pushed the detonator. We'd cut him in 20%, because why not? The guy was losing a planet. With everyone loyal and brave on the planet already dead, there wasn't much to lose. We smoked every population center with those warehouse goods I mentioned earlier. Left the planet a barely habitable rock, killed 98% of the population, and the entirety of the occupying force, at the same time.

We dropped off the King with a promise of a visit from the Imperial Navy carrying additional colonists and mining equipment, so that he could start paying us back. In return, he kept his crown, we kept the juicy gifts of the Tau and their salvage, and most importantly. Most importantly of all...

We kept our wine, and our friday night partridge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sm79nAavwIw

>>14171533
>foie gras
mon estomac...

>>14171450
Simon Phoenix Riddick?

>>14171585
Yes. Dick S.P. Riddick. His compatriot (also a player) was Titus Zidane Pullo.

>>14171264
>>14171332
>>14171413
>>14171450
>>14171533

>>14171533

YOU ARE A GLORIOUS BASTARD

this is why i love /tg/

>>14171264
>Captain Hercules Lucullus Skywalker Master-Commander Poirot
Was master-commander his actual name?

>>14171675
What do you think?

>>14171533
I read this whole story with the stupidest grin I've ever had the pleasure of wearing plastered across my face. I suspect I'm about to get a PROMOTION from my boss. It doesn't matter. That, good sir, is Rogue Trader done expertly and wonderfully.

Saved for posterity.

>>14171533
Fucking... Wow.

>>14169728

Explorator Grigoriy booms over the vox. "Maidstone is leeving warp naow. Her engine is strong like bear and angry like.... other bear!"

>>14171746
Thank you

>>14171746
Kind of you.

>>14171533
This sort of ruthless and amoral eccentricity is a standard to which all rogue traders should aspire.

>>14171864

It's like the glory days of Rogue Trader 1st Edition all over again! If I were the GM I'd sic Obiwan Sherlock Clouseau on them, or have Abdul Goldberg steal their ship.

>>14171884
Even better, friend. It's Rogue Trader era goodness done with style and class.

rolled 5 = 5

Oh god I got to find a group intrested in 40k. DH, RT Deathwatch... any one of them.

Online though becouse we got none here in Sweden...

>>14171533
I miss the days when 40k was willfully ridiculous in this way.

>>14171898
No reason it still can't be, as our fine storyteller has shown. Unfortunately the only ridiculousness to be found in the modern era is the work of Ward and Goto.

>>14171563
Nero Wolfe, Riddick, and Hercule Poirot in the same party? For real?

>>14171915
And apparently Titus Pullo and a guy whose name means
"Good with a spear Spearson Spearman shakespear."

>>14171896
As fate would have it, I'm looking for a similar range of online games to play in. I'm dreadfully tired of GM'ing.

>>14171884
>Obiwan Sherlock Clouseau
Wait, what?

>>14171930

http://www.belloflostsouls.net/2010/04/most-awesome-40k-character-of-all-time.html

>>14171930
Rogue Trader era weirdness. The delicious kind. You oughta hear the loadout this guy carries. He's got like 35 grenades on him.

I play DH with a few friends. We are probably the worst Acolytes to ever disgrace the Imperium.
Just check this out.
>We are sent to a hive world to aid some wealthy noble who's a friend of our Inquisitor.
>Arrive at said Hive World, greeted by the Noble's daughter.
>Meet with the Noble, wants us to investigate some new drug that's appeared.
>Do some asking around, eventually we get invited to a party for some Nobles. The Noble's daughter accompanies us but we lose sight of her when we arrive.
>At the party we finally see some of the drug, party's psyker senses warp taint on it. Oh shit.
>After the party we can't find the daughter. She dissapeared and witnesses said they had seen her take the drug. Noble is hysterical and tells us to drop everything and try to find her.
>Investigate and we eventually find a heretical techpriests hideout. He's been kidnapping people and turning those with psychic potential into the drug. Those without potential were turned into servitors.
>After a fight where I almost get cleaved in half by his power blades we manage to kill him by application of metal rod to forehead.
>Turns out that the Noble's daughter had been turned into a servitor. Shit.
>Leading servitor back to the noble, this following conversation takes place.
Me: Uh, I don't think we're getting paid for this. (The noble had, in his hysteria, promised us a reward if we found her)
Guardsman: Shit, I think you are right on that one. Well I'm not going out of this empty handed.
>And then he said those, to our group, legendary words.
'How much is a servitor worth?'
Yeah, we went there.
We are such terrible, terrible people.

>>14171947
Poor Julia. It's supposed to be her cousin who gets disappeared, but every time I hear of that mission it's always she always ends up having terrible things done to her.

So a friend and I work together to run a Dark Heresy campaign for a group of new gamers. To help lure them in, we've forsaken the unforgiving nature inherent to the grimdark, and play by the rule of cool. This works far, far better than it has any right to.
The mission: We've received word of a petty crime lord, otherwise beneath the Inquisition's notice, has been dealing in Xenos tech. We're sent undercover to capture him for interrogation.
A group of bounty hunters ambush us, using a bomb in a staged wreck before opening fire.
Bounty Hunter: "Here's a gift from Perry!"
Assassin: "Who?"
BH: "The repair shop owner."
Psyker : "Who?"
BH: "You killed all his guards and tortured him."
A: "...Did we kill him?"
BH: "No."
A: "Oh, now I know who you mean."
(Note: This was not hyperbole. Between gunhappy players and some profoundly unlikely dice rolls, we have never been unable to fast-talk ourselves out of a fight. That day, our 'didn't kill opposition' count climbed to two.)

>>14171977
As part of an attempt to convince a barman sympathetic to our target's enemy, the Adept (myself) quickly pretends to be an affable drunk.
Barman: Where have you been drinking?
Adept: I had--I had a couple on--on my ship.
B: He's the pilot?
Scum: No, of course not. He's the navigator.

Later, as the conversation turns to the target--and his thugs in the bar:
B: How much don't you like Verbal?
The Adept--a sober, serious old man--promptly seizes a glass off the counter, turns, and shatters it in the face of one of Verbal's thugs.
A: Thash how mush we don' like Verbal!

All plants within thirteen meters wither and die as our psyker rolls one of the infamous Perils of the Warp:
Enemy Killsquad Trooper: Thank the Throne he didn't summon a Daemon!
The trooper is then crushed beneath the massive bookcase the psyker pushed over onto him.

The Adept rolls Literacy twice--the first time failing incredibly, the second succeeding by four degrees:
Adept: I need my glasses before I can read this.
Scum: They're on your face.
Assassin: Which face?

>>14171533
>"Because, mon ami, foie gras."
This is the absolute last rationale I want to hear for the necessity of my death.

bump

rolled 4 = 4

>>14171925
And the adventure begins.

>>14172263
there's a group on suptg that starts on monday (rogue trader). we have most roles filled, but they might seek out new players. no ones around, but check out krabtraderooc and ask around later

rolled 5 = 5

>>14172317
IRC?

>>14171264
Wait, honeyed lark tongues? That can't be French cuisine...

>>14172317
Know if there happen to be any Deathwatch games forming? Got at least two other people as eager to play as I am.

>>14172344
I think it's an apocryphal Roman recipe intended to demonstrate latter-day Roman decadence, and the inherently barbarous nature of Broman cuisine. You know, according to its source, they would just throw the actual larks away?
They also supposedly filled roasted boars with live sparrows (post cooking) so that they would fly out when the first cut was taken?

I wonder what happened to the GM who used Kaptin Katiklyzm in his game....

>>14172373
>They also supposedly filled roasted boars with live sparrows (post cooking) so that they would fly out when the first cut was taken?

Mediaeval Britons did this with pies, so maybe the Romans did too. It's not so outlandish. As for the larks, google "conspicuous consumption" some time.

>>14171264
>Saucisse minuit
You know, the Nero Wolfe cookbook actually had the supposed recipe for that stuff. As one of like six people in the state of Rhode Island who actually makes his own sausage, I cooked some up back in the 90s. Now I'm not Fritz, but it was better than sex. I would've destroyed a planet for some professionally made. No question.

>>14172649
While I might as well, I'm sort of curious as to why these guys have a warship, 50,000 crewmembers, bolt guns, the resources to build hundreds of warehouses and stock them with explosives, meltacannons, and a guy named RIDDICK working for them... Yet cannot afford some pheasant once a week.

>>14172676
Well think about it. A ship? You can get those everywhere. Melta-torpedoes and other heavy ordinance? Might as well grow on trees. (And in some places, probably do.) Riddick? He's a dime a dozen on Necromunda or Catachan.

But pheasants? That's Terrestrial fowl, nigger, that shit has to be imported from a bio-dome on Holy Terra itself. Those things cost more than the GDP of Gudrun. Each.

>>14172733
What the hell is a Gudrun?

>>14172751
Waste of a good partridge.

I'd love to play a game of DH/RT so that I too could share awesome stories like this, but I've never played an RPG on IRC.

Would people on the suptg IRC mind if I watched a game or two to get the hang of how it plays out in an IRC room?

How viable would a sword cane be? I just enjoy the idea of a scrawny Tech-Priest limping around with a cane, then whoosh.

Also, is it permitted to sell starting equipment during character creation to afford other stuff? Ignoring blatant powergaming shit.

>>14172955
Everyone in RT is some sort of demigod to start out with. You can probably most generic folks around with your bare hands. Swordcane's entirely doable. Sword power-cane? Even moreso.

>>14173063
>Sword power-cane?

I'm now imagining a regular sword inside a cane scabbard that crackles with energy. The cranky old tech priests draws the sword and then proceeds to beat those damn annoying kids on the rump with his power-cane-scabbard, while shaking the sword part in the air and hurling hilariously out-of-date curses at them

>>14173086
Strongly considering playing a RT based off of scrooge mcduck.

>>14173086

lulz

>>14173108

Scrooge: Rogue Trader, aiming to be the richest in the Imperium.

Gyro: Explorator Magus with a penchant for servitorization. Gizmo is his prized creation, a Skitarii with advanced enchancements.

Launchpad: Crazy Void Master.

Huey, Dewey and Louie: Three young Adepts that together fill the role of Seneschal for Scrooge.

My current Rogue Trader captain is based on pic related. He has command up over his ears when aboard his ship and rarely uses a weapon. If he uses a weapon he opts for a pulse pistol he bartered off a Kroot mercenary.

>>14173182
But can he make a grown marine drop his gun and run away with just a glare?

To me, that was Adama's moment of maximum badassery.

>>14173227
kinda'... he's trained in intimidate and has really high fellowship. i'm going to up intimidate the next time i can justify it ingame.

that's kind of a unspoken houserule we have. any and all advances needs to e justified by ingame reason. So yeah afer i've intimidated teh fuck out of some people i'm going to up it.

>>14173148
Hell yeah.

our crew:
Captain Jacksus Telerath- the 12th son of a Dynasty Rogue trader, spoiled slacker. Originally wanted to be bases of the guy from Sons of Anarchy (he wanted to run illegal weapons) He ended up acting more like Sterling Archer.

Chief Navigator Sammuel Crowe- Created at the same time as the Captain, hence the name. His navigator family has long ties with the Telerath's, but he aspires to be much more important than working with the spoiled slacker son of a real rogue trader.

Krieger Traxis- An arch militant we found in space, born in the expanse, and has no clue about the Imperium or any of its history. Hilarity ensues. Refferd to Chaos Cultists as "Those Spikey Arrow Circle people."

Lead Astropath Mariska Von Grambell- A crazy astropath who dresses like a victorian doll, and only communicates through various stuffed animals. In order to send messages through her, you have to talk to the plushies.

Tech Priest Tidus- of all the crew, we know the least about this one. We picked him up in the wreckage of a space hulk, and rarely talks about his past. At least he often agrees with the navigator over the captain, as he's the more sensible one.

Seneschal Lord Accountant Darius Elvar- The outer space equivilant to the bank manager in the dark knight. Seeing as how Jacksus pretty much acts on behalf of his father 9the one who actually holds the warrant of trade) Darius reports directly to his father, and is responsible for the ships finiances. Takes great delight in telling Jacksus he can't do things because of the cost.

The party I'm GMing for:

Void Master, Helmsman of the Void Empress, and distant bastard of the Rogue Trader. Captain Brannigan.

Kroot Merc. Might as well call him predator.

Astropath. A badass old granny. Looks like your grandmother, and can tie your mind in a knot.

And Rogue Trader Sir Not Appearing In This Story. He died shortly before it started, fighting orks, and the others are trying to make it look like he's still alive, salvage the family fortune, and prevent Void Empress from being repossessed.

We just started last session, but they've currently hired themselves a regiment of Necromundans Ship-rats (Boarding troops!) and are planning to go take over the scrap yard out in the expanse. This will prove... Interesting.

>>14173182
I was playing an astropath based on Tigh last RT game i played... angry drunken antics ahoy.

Also massive insubordination and pessimism over god emprahs

>>14171450
>vive le roi
Wasn't Hercule Poirot Belgian?

>>14173977
Well yes. But unless 40k has space Belgium, it's probably just the name in this case.

>>14174069
i like the idea of space belgium

>>14174089

Belgianfag here, who actually owns a chocolate factory
I APPROVE OF THIS THREAD

>>14174108
So we need space Africa?

>>14174089
space chocolate and voidmills.

>>14174108
my body is ready

>>14174125

Actually both Space Africa and Space South America.
Space Africa has the tannic cocoas full of tannins and bitter alkaloid taste, and Space South American chocolates will be sweeter and be more flowery and sweeter than other ones.
Spae NewOtherLand would also get new chocolate flavours and tastes, like if you planted cocoa plants in India they would get a muskier taste, just as everything else that ever grows in India does. So, imagine what other flavours wouold be developped in zero-gravity with various settings on every measure... then measure the differences of taste... too drunk to type rest of post

>>14174292
Are you proposing an interplanetary chocolate business?

>>14174292

What about Space Catachan?

>>14174548 ? Am >>14174292 .

Yes, exactly that. An interplanetary chocolate business.

This is the Rogue Trader I'm playing.

Primo Antalos (RT):

Following the traditions of his family, Primo was sent into the Imperial Navy when he came of age. Though he excelled to a great extent, he also confounded his mentors in often rash eccentricities. More than one tutor had to pull the young man away from the pit fights of the lower deck, not for fear of his safety but rather the respectability of his family. However, it was during one of these gladiatorial bouts that Primo encountered a horror that would mar his destiny forever.

A cult of Khornite warriors had infiltrated many of the lower deckhands, intent on transforming the naval vessel into a carnal house for their dread lord. Using the matches as a staging ground for recruitment, the cult marked each warrior as a vessel of Khorne, ripe for possession by a greater Bloodletter. Thus, when the time came, previously loyal men where torn asunder and replaced by daemons. One did not.

Primo suddenly found himself filled with unnatural rage and thirst of the red blood of his friends. Screaming in pain, he heard a single voice in his mind whisper a single phrase. "Blood for the Blood God." Roaring in defiance, Primo denied this inner voice, his mind filled with thoughts of duty and honor. What had merely been empty words mouthed to placate his tutors became the aegis against the madness that sought to assail consume him.

Having retained control, Primo rushed to join the defense of the vessel against the enemy within. Each slaughtered fiend, each gush of blood and scream of terror driving him further. In the end, he emerged victorious. Still something bothered him. Though he had fought off the being that had sough to possess, it's mark remained upon his mind. Even years later, that primal thirst for the blood of his enemies remained, reemerging like an old wound in the midst of combat. While he could contain it behind his duty, Primo knew it would consume him in time.

>>14174617


In the process of searching for a way to remove the Mark of Khorne that is upon him, Primo has found several ways to minimize that hateful rage.

-Drugs, mostly depressants. They're slowly losing their effect though.

-The waters of Vaporious. Probably the most effective thing so far, though he drinks only sparingly for fear of becoming a pawn of the priest kings.

-Eldar training. He had to trade a hundred soul stones for it, but he eventually got a dumbed down version of aspect warrior training for his trouble. Now he's trying to compartmentalize his mind so his combat side is separate from his regular side.

Right now, Primo is looking into ways to make himself a null. Khorne can't get you if you don't have a soul right?

>>14174572
So, ships like these, but purple with Cadbury's down the side?

>>14171943
I was in need of a char for my next D&D campaign and now I have it.

Thank you kind sir.

We named our ship in RT "It's one of ours, Sir!". And gave it a 'hidden-mount' mega plasma cannon, and a tenebro (or however it's spelled) maze.and a hidden command deck. We also painted the ship black, with dots of white (so it'd blend in to the rest of space).

>>14174698
Amusing, but I doubt it will work against auspexes.

Also, I hope you didn't commit the blasphemy of painting over your stained-glass void-windows, and are keeping your coat of paint fresh. Nothing mars a pretty ship like a swarm of micrometeorite impacts.

>>14174292
This is actually a cool idea. Way to go Belgium.

Bump for sheer awesome.

bump

Why am I never around when these threads happen?

>>14179655
I wish I could have read it too, but - oh well, guess it's too late now.

>>14174570
It tastes lick a kick in the face.

A sweet, chocolatey kick in the face.

How would you guys justify a Sister of Battle-gone-Rogue Trader? The group's oddly in favor of it, so I'm trying to roll with it.

>>14183031
Based on this post alone, stopped to read this thread. And I find it to be made of fucking win.

>>14183053
just quickly off the top of my head:

You could have her cast out of the order, then find out she's the distant last descendant of some minor Rogue Trader dynasty. Now that she's out of the order, slumming around some shitty hive bar, suddenly some courier type finds her and delivers the "You are rogue trader naow, here's you're long lost grandfathers beat up old ship and hilariously dysfunctional crew" letter.
Adventure go!

The thing is I just can't see how an "active member" of the SoB would also be a RT Captain. She'd have to be excommunicated or possibly on some sort of personal penitence mission to prove her worth or something.

Having someone who is both actively still a SoB AND a RT captain is a bit much, as any proper SoB would immediately donate all her personal wealth/belongings/ships to the ecclesiarchy (sp?)

>>14183103

Yeah, I apologize if my post implied she'd be both at once.

>>14183103
It could be Ecclesiarchal sophistry, similar to the 'no men-at-arms' edict. High-ups want some mcguffin out in the expanse, but don't trust anyone else to go get it. Seeing the use of a Rogue Trader mentally conditioned to consider the ecclesiarchy to be the best things since sliced bread, they manipulate High Lord politics to get her a warrant and send her out.

rolled 2 = 2

>>14174617
That sounds kinda...

Gary Stue.

>>14183053

Not Gone Rogue Trader, unless...

There is that idea in my head that just won't stop buggering me. It's for a PC I want to play in RT, actually. And it's a Sororita.
An Ascension-level Sororita.

So, the tl;dr is : Palatine with a dozen squads of various Sisters lost her convent, found some more Sisters, founded an Abbey aboard a Rogue Trader hip.
This skews Endeavours towards Faith objectives but somwhat prevents Criminal objectives from happening. Their presence also raises morale and security rating. (Sisters in ship corridors with Vanaheim automatic shotguns = VERY dead boarders.)
The Palatine is not denounced as heretical traitor, the Church probably thinks her dead more than radical. Which she is not (or is - play the character as you want her after all), she was out of the convent responding to a distress call further in the system, from a group of Missionaris Galaxia who got attacked by angry natives for a point of doctrine (not Chaos-related as far as they know); those include some low-ranking Clerics and Sisters Sabine.
I want them to be accompanied by a crazy, crazy Cleric and a converted Tech-priest who was a Mechanicus Bonded Emissary (to, say, the Arbites) on the world where her convent was.

Now to make her a Rogue Trader : easy, gift the Warrant Of Trade unto the Ecclesiarchy. Or just have the Rogue Trader write her an authorization to basically run a (couple of) ship(s) as she sees fit for her mission of converting worlds. And revenge for her convent (or maybe she orbit-bombed the place herself after her Sisters were all killed so that you don't have that old cliche of a character trait).

>>14183580
that actually sounds rather plausable.

>>14183053
Distant descendant of a rogue trader. Inheritance war leaves all other viable heirs dead. She's compelled by the powers of the Imperium to take up her new title and do good.

Ecclesiastical scheme to help propagate the Missionaris Galaxia out in the expanse. Sister in question is chosen for her exceptional (and possibly slightly unorthodox) nature. Works particularly well for a sister belonging to the Order of the Eternal Gate or Order Sabine.

Sister pursues corruption in the church, purges many. The remaining corrupt make it look like she got them all and "gift" her a warrant to get her out of there.

>>14171896
Do you happen to live in Katrineholm, swebro?

bump

rolled 9 = 9

>>14184175
Nope Stockholm, but I already got a group here, thats why I'm looking for a irc/skype group.

It's just that some of the players don't feel so motivated, many don't/can't show up and now we only play evry other thursday

Also, we're playing Eon, which I say is meh, and I'm really hyped for anything 40k.

>>14183621

Thank you! I am rather pleased with how this background idea turned out, and was quite afraid that it would be too Mary Sue. I just toned down the more outrageous ideas I had, adapted them to canon-fitting terms and avoiding calling the bigger things; for example, that idea I had of an Inquisitor chasing her? Nah, stupid. But that she's thought to be dead by more people than there are who know she's alive, it will be a plot point that she'll have to prove her identity, if she goes out of the Imperium for too long before she's well-known enough.

That way, you get self-developing plot hooks, that may turn good or bad for the character, and always add to her story, instead of "Great But Dark Destiny, Dark Nemesis and Dark Secret" for the DM to figure out because the player can't think of a way to get a good background to develop his character and story on.

If the GM includes the Lost Order in the Trader fleet, you can play her, or if the GM finds that a Rank 13 Ascended DH character is way above what's playable, you could get a lower-ranking Sororita with at least some Ecclesiarchical support: say, a Rank 5-6 Militant with a couple of weapon specialists, one Famulous and one crazy Cleric. Maybe she's even trusted enough to be designated Captain of the ship by whoever holds the Warrant of Trade. (May be the Palatine if Warrant has been gifted, may be the hereditary Rogue Trader if not. Maybe the Palatine with the Trader's approval. Or without, for a minor twist.)

I really should either writefag those ideas or run an RT campaign myself...

So I heard from the rest of the group that the Rogue Trader wants to walk through the back alleys of Commorragh to find the Merchant because, in his words, "I took Jaded, so I don't need to worry about Fear!"

Now I need to find a way to illustrate his stupidity.

>>14187917

Get that copypasta where they describe how DEldar can literally disassemble someone, ecorate a whole room with the pieces, and keeping them alive through it all.

I'm thinking that should suffice.

Or, introduce your Trader to my Sororita (see above.)

>>14187972

I downloaded the Dark Eldar Codex onto the Voidmaster's computer, and made her read through it.

>her visage quand

So far, The Voidmaster is shitfuckscared of their current predicament, the Arch-militant, Explorator, and Seneschal are quite worried, and the Rogue Trader hasn't a clue in the world.

I'm thinking the loss of the pancreas. Anyone know if you need that to live?

>>14188043

I'm more curious on how they got to Commorragh over whether or not the Rogue Trader needs his pancreas.

>>14188043
You can actually live missing a big chunk of your liver. And your kidneys can grow back. You only need one lung as well, same with eyes, ears, anything you have two of. Plus, if he doesn't drink a lot or use too many drugs, liver and kidneys make a fine dish!

>>14188285

>liver
>Wait, I can make a foy grass joke!

Excellent! I'll take his liver!

Oh my God-Emperor they're fucked in a ton of new and exciting ways.

There's no way they're ever getting out of Commoragh. Ever. They have a Navigator? Astropath? It's illegal by DEldar standards.

This means TPK.

>>14188397

If I remember correctly from the last Storytime with Shas'O, the Rogue Trader made a deal, a single weapon for a single unconditional favor in the future. This "favor" brought them to the Dark City.

>I'm thinking the loss of the pancreas. Anyone know if you need that to live?

Nah not really, as long as you have good bionics/other life support available everything should be fine. Other wise probably best leaving it as is.

>>14188043
The pancreas is absolutely required if you want to process sugar/carbohydrates. It is no vital that even those people with a malfunctioning pancreas (read: diabetes) will die earlier than the average lifespan for their gender. Only through a careful diet and never missing a shot will a person not lose parts of their body (feet, mostly), go into a diabetic coma, or die outright.


And your body will not grow a new kidney.

>>14188432

Yeah, into the Dark City, not out of it.
Especially the Tau, learning the RT violated one of the very, very few absolutely enforced laws of Commoragh? Even they are very dead.

>>14183103
The calling of a rogue trader is occasionally an Emperor issued writ. If the emperor wants you to be a Rogue trader then I'm sure the order would stand aside.

>>14188610
Emperor is very much dead by the time the Sororitas roll around, but the agreements signed by him rarely contain names and refer instead to the bearer of the charter, as most were hashed out between the Emperor and the original trader in a pub somewhere.
But maybe your sororitas stumbled across one of those agreements, as they are seen as holy relics by the Ecclesiarchy

>>14188285
>And your kidneys can grow back.
Nope.jpg Kidneys are goddamn fragile. Trust me, I study medicine.
But I agree to the rest.

Also agree to >>14188494, but it is not to forget that the pancreas is also VERY needed to neutralize the acidic stuff coming out of your stomach. Without it, your small intestine will be not amused. The rest, consisting of lotta enzymes, insulin and some other important stuff can be substituted, but that alkaline stuff is fucking important.
Really, remove like 80% of his liver, since it can be made in an awesome way of removing it segment by segment. Not to forget all that dialogue of not destroying his gall bladder before you remove it, since it will spill all the good liver.

>>14188686
It would actually refer to "the direct descendant of Rogus Traderous".

I just have seen Shas running about so I'll bump this thread.

>>14188686
Could always be that the Sororitas is of the blood of the dynasty but joined a convent anyway. The nobility of various worlds do very occasionally do that (the truly, selflessly pious ones tend not to fit in). She could have also been ignorant to her origins, being a descendant of an old bastard line, until a genealogical examination turns up her heritage.

>>14193852

Oooh YEAH. How did I not see that one? A Sister Famulous could very well have converted some noble girl so well that she entered the Order, only to be recalled to an even higher purpose; this is a very, very good backstory. It could happily replace the one I wrote of the Lost Order. It ties better into the canon, and is much less needlessly complicated.

>Famulous protégée enters the Sisterhood
>She inherits the Warrant of Trade
>Her Canoness orders her to go convert the stars In His Name
>You get a Sister Famulous Rogue Trader with an Ecclesiarchical retinue (if the Canoness trusts her enough to go Rogue Trading, she might as well give her that too)

I'm gonna play that one as soon as I find an RT game.

Ooh! I love tales of high adventure.

>>14188686

Read the second book in the Shira Calpurnia series, it's a plot point. The Ecclesiarchy wants to claim a Warrant of Trade for themselves, because it contains one drop of the Emperor's own blood, making it a Very Holy Sacred Relic.

Last night the ship's helmswoman was attacked by two men under orders from a local slaver. He was out for revenge because the helmswoman is an escaped slave of his. In response, the Rogue Trader took 150 elite crew and burnt his compound to the ground. The helmswoman executed him personally in a western-style stand-off.

Couple of weeks ago, my party was battling the demonic equivilant of Skullkid & co to salvage a teleportarium from a pre-Crusade manufacturing facility. They battled with three dozen shadowy corpses: a single hit from the monsters would de-pressurize their suits and expose them to a hostile atmosphere (causing a loss of one wound and one fatigue each round). The monsters were guided by four evil, laughing spirits in masks who would disappear for one turn, then reappear behind somebody and flank attack them to death. The party came in with 35 elite guard with carapace armour and boltguns. They brought a massive ogryn with them. The PCs were two archmilitants, a void master, a navigator and the rogue trader.

They battled for hours, taking down most of the horde, but by then only TWO guards remained. One archmilitant was down, unconscious after a burst suit that the rogue trader just managed to fix in time. The masked spirits are still around and there's still at least six corpse-creatures left. To make things worse, a couple guards have risen again as possessed. The Navigator blasts the four masked spirits with warp sight, causing them to disappear, and the Rogue Trader organises a general retreat.

The ogryn, Gilpak, charges into the horde of corpse-monsters. Throwing them aside, he creates the opening everyone needs to flee. But Nomad, the nameless arch-militant from the sectors most lethal death world refuses to flee. He charges in to help nomad, decapitating a good two possessed in a single round of combat. The void master too gets left behind, tripped by one of the cackling masks. The rogue trader, navigator, and unconscious militant get away, and then the doors slam shut.

The four shadows reform stronger than before, two on each side of the door. The party outside realise that this isn't the end for anyone - the spirits aren't bound to this archeotech site. They can roam the planet at will and now they've succeeded in separating the party.

>>14195398
Gilpak is dog-piled by possessed and his suit ruptures. Even his mighty strength isn't enough, and he falls unconscious. Nomad takes down all the nearby possessed. The void masters suit is rupturing - she's dying. Nomad screams at her to search for something - anything - to fight back the monsters. Following his orders she runs into the darkness and disappears.

Then the masked spirits reform into an enormous alien monstrousity, strengthed by the warp energies of the navigators eye. Nomad is as nothing against this giant bulk of blasphemous flesh.

It has trouble hitting him - a few blows send him flying but Nomad recovers. He runs up debris, leaping onto its back. A few slashes wound, but the creature has a hefty toughness bonus. One particularly well-aimed slash tears down its back. The creature howls in pain and slaps Nomad aside, darkest ichor leaking out.

Then the Void Master returns in a mighty armoured sentinel.

>and then this theme plays: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxD0dWMbO5I

>>14171264
>>14171332
>>14171413
>>14171450
>>14171533
>mfw Hercule Poirot and Nero Wolfe go on magical adventures in space

>>14195414
The short version of what happens next - the Void Master gets some great shots in but realises she's outmatched a little bit. Nomad does another running leap, catapulting himself off a high ledge and onto the monsters back. The Void Master rips into the monster with close combat claws, and finally snaps its snipe. Adjusting her massive oversized hat, she then goes on to batter down the doors and quips:

>For you the day you encountered a giant alien in a manufacture was the worst day of your life. For me it was a Tuesday.

And that's how Nomad and Girl Bison defeated Majora's Mask.

>>14195171
It's very easy for Rogue Trader dynasties to shit all over planetary operations. The group I GM for went to a fledgeling hiveworld where a family member was having trouble with their assets. They promptly identified a local criminal element as the major problem. They completely annihilated it with an assault force of elite armsmen, a praetorian combat servitor and the explorers themselves.