>>14198776
After a successful mission to the cemetery world of Redemption (Well, mostly successful. We did manage to piss off a Dark Eldar Witch something fierce), Trader Gilliam, Arch-Militant Blade & Explorator 62-SXE decided to celebrate and got into Void Master Quint’s “special reserve” of homebrewed hooch. Last we heard, they were hungover and hiding from his wrath in the Jailbait. Regardless, we’re down a talker and two tanks. This leaves Vorgen Thayle, Missionary Ramirez, Astropath Remi Malachi, and Navigator Alisander to handle affairs. On the plus side, those of us who were not too hungover to show up got 100 bonus XP.

With the captain…indisposed, Seneschal Vorgen Thayle assumes the role of acting-captain. First order of business is to resupply the ship, get some new crew and get some gear.

As we leave the bay, Vorgen speaks with Bartleby, who offers to resupply the ship for a modest fee. We decide to shop around because Bartleby’s a dick and find Black Guard Deals, who will provide a fair price and no bullshit. The ship gets resupplied with no problems.

On the way back through one of the seedier levels of Footfall, a group of station scum come boiling out of the shadows. Oh great. A mugging.

>>14198799
They’re armed with slug throwers and truncheons. The big one steps forward and says “I’m Jack One-Eye. This is our bridge and you’ll have to pay the toll! Or else we’re gonna fug you up!!” The little shit also calls Vorgen a ninker.

We eye up their weapons, then look at Ramirez. “Why don’t you minister to these troubled youths?”

>>14198812
Ramirez nods and steps forward. He rolls a 4 to Charm. “YOU BOYS HAVE LOST YOUR WAY! What do you think you’re doing with yourselves?? You don’t want to spend your lives waylaying people on bridges! CAN YOU DIG IT??”

The thugs shuffle uncomfortably and cast shameful glances to the floor. “Oh wow, preacher man. You’re right! I’ve been wasting my life!”

Ramirez gives them a big grin and hands him a stack of pamphlets (pamphlets he can now read thanks to Literacy) “Go forth my children, and SPREAD THE WORD OF THE GOD-EMPEROR! With these pamphlets!” He then waves them away with his chainsword.

>>14198843
Remi and Vorgen both notice a blinking red light attached to a small camera in a corner of the ceiling. It is clearly watching us. Vorgen gives it a thumbs up and a smile. Vorgen inquires about it during lunch. Cameras like that are a fairly new addition to Footfall. “Probably the damn Inquisition.” some say. “Dey took ur jurbs!” say some others.

Back at the ship, Quint is waiting for us at the airlock. “Sneaky Hooper, we got visitors. Some people want passage. Also, Chief’s thinking about a colony mission to Grace. Unfortunately, Chief’s still busy being drunk.”

>>14198859
We decide to talk to the colonist party first. In the briefing room, we meet the entourage of Lady Septima Torres, a noble from Calixis. She’s been given a governorship to establish a colony world in the expanse by Marius Hauk. She’s really upper class, looks young, dresses elaborately and acts real snooty. She’s got a bodyguard and an Astropath in her party. She has a bulk transport vessel that needs an escort to Grace, but she wants to travel on the Primae Noctis because it “stinks less of the peasantry.” She wants a regular supply line opened up with the Gilliam family and also wants our help in subduing any “local problems.”

Vorgen remembers that Grace was actually colonized 600 years ago and failed miserably. It’s a stormy world but has great mining potential. The old governor had also established it as a kind of safe house for shady types, until the Inquisition leveled it from orbit.

Remi telepathically talks with the other astropath. His name’s Lucien and he’s not a happy camper. “Hey man, this bitch pissed off everyone in the Calixis Sector.” Remi learns that Lucien was appointed to this since he pissed off the head astropath of Calixis by seriously botching up something. “And now I’m stuck with this bitch on my way to Assfuck Mining World Seven.”

>>14198871
Ramirez chats up their chief priest. He’s an older, chunky fellow with food stains on his robes. He’s Sentarus and is basically Friar Tuck, only gone to pot. “Izzat you Anderson?” he asks. “Uh, no,” Ramirez says. Sentaurus’ aid Ballus cleans some crumbs out of his beard. “Don’t mind Bishop Sentaurus, he’s gone around the bend a bit and drank himself into stupidity.”

Vorgen rolls general inquiry and learns that Lady Torres is a bit of a dilettante and slept with a rather influential fellow on Scintilla. His scorned wife made some angry calls and got her the governor position.

So these colonial leaders are being sent out to the Expanse to get them out of Calixis.

>>14198890
Lady Torres will offer a flat 2 Profit Points for the entire deal.

Vorgen rolls amusingly well on Fellowship and says “Then perhaps we should seal that deal.” She tells everyone to leave the room immediately, locks the door and proceeds to make “wild monkey love” to the Seneschal.

When that’s done, Vorgen leaves the office smoking a lho-stick. “Gilliam’s going to want to replace the blotter on his desk.”

“Shouldn’t you have tried to talk her into some more money?” Alisander asks a little icily.

“Eh,” Vorgen shrugs.

>>14198949
We then talk to the other potential passengers. Its Celeste and Fred from the Scholar’s retinue. They need to get to Iniquity and Grace is on the way. Alisander knows Iniquity is an agriworld that specializes in fish production and aquatic agriculture. The two are willing to trade a favor in order to get to Grace. From there, they’ll find other transport to Iniquity. Fred (who’s last name happens to be Kowalski, but he seems to have stopped going by “Da Fridge” a hundred years ago) says “Here’s the thing, I can tell you about that dead alien you sold us.”

Sounds fair we decide and allow them on. Fred & Celese bicker with each other in a language we can‘t understand. Apparently Celeste isn’t too happy about Fred flapping his jaws about that.

>>14198776
'Primae Noctis' My EVE spidey sense is tigling...

>>14198997
Actually we couldn't really settle on a name for the ship for something like 2 weeks, and since the ship was jokingly referred to as the "Statutorium" the first week, I went digging for a more Latin-y version.

It was either that or call it the Droid De Seigneur.

>>14198980
We are also made aware of one last passenger. A scholar from the Administratum runs up to the ship shouting that he’s a late addition to Lady Torres’ retinue. He’s Jerisol Proost and asking for permission to board. He’s on the crew manifest, so he checks out. He boards the ship and, a bit too cheerfully starts badgering Vorgen for stories of the Expanse.

“Well, I’ve got some stuff to do right now, but if you want stories, why don’t you talk to Quint over there?”

Proost runs (loudly) over to Quint and starts to introduce himself. Quint scowls and shoots him in the knee before walking away. As he passes Vorgen, he says with murder in his eyes “Sneaky Hooper, don’t you ever do that to me again.”

“Duly noted, Quint.”

>>14199056
Alisander succeeds at plotting a course and the transport’s navigator succeeds at finding the Astronomicon, so combined they make one competent navigator. Off we go into the Warp.

We pass through the Gauntlet Storm and get to Grace in 6 weeks with no problems.

In transit, Astropath Remi has dreams of Ansaura, the Witch of the Endless Scream. In them, she is making the worst kind of painful hate-fucking to him in them. It’s not a pleasant experience for him.

He brings this up to Astropath Lucien. “That’s uber fucked up, man,” Lucien says. “How’d you get that bitch of a thing in your head?” Remi explains. Lucien continues. “Well, we could try to break the link. The witch is probably tracking you through the link.”

Lucien tries to get in Remi’s head to break the link muttering “Come on, big money.”

>>14199088
The attempt fails and the link remains intact. Lucien gets some backlash from Ansaura and is blown back across the room. “That bitch is hardcore,” he says before swearing not to try that again.

Proost hobbles up and talks to Vorgen in private. He flashes his credentials as an Inquisitorial Interrogator sent to observe Fred & Celeste. Vorgen, with no intention of pissing off the Inquisition agrees to fill him in on anything that develops.

Quint rolls really well to get out of the Warp. The Primae Noctis power slides out of the Immaterium. The transport takes a more conventional exit vector.

We are now in orbit above Grace. Time to scan that mother.

>>14199114
Alisander detects 2 major continents through the rain and clouds. There’s a lot of oceans. There is a human settlement set up on the outskirts of the old colony ruins, roughly 50,000 people there. The tech level appears to be low, but they’re not primitive.

Remi detects some psyker backwash from below, but nobody trained as a psyker. Mostly just white noise on his end.

We hail the planet with standard vox radios. It takes some time for someone to answer, but they do.

“This is Dodge Karvalia of Grace,” the voice on the other end says.

Lady Torres grabs the phone from Vorgen and starts screeching into it, threatening the guy with all manner of aristocratic punishments. Vorgen and Ramirez fail to get the phone out of her hands. Remi discreetly compels her to hand the phone over to Ramirez.

“Are ye right with the God-Emperor?” Ramirez asks. “It has been said that Lady Torres here has been sent by the God-Emperor to rule over you.”

“What? I rule here!” Karvalia responds.

“Okay, look, we won’t get anywhere like this. We’re going to come down to the planet and discuss this,” Vorgen says.

“Down… to…. The planet?” Karvalia asks, trying to wrap his head around the concept. However, he is willing to negotiate with us before Lady Torres comes down.

>>14199165
We decide to impress him and spraypaint the Jailbait gold. Quint proceeds to do so, but grumbles that it’ll only burn off on atmospheric entry.

Fred & Celeste come with us aboard the shuttle. Gilliam, SXE & Blade are nowhere to be found on the shuttle. Must’ve moved out when they saw Quint approaching with the paint.

The Jailbait lands in what was once a standard Imperial Mining Colony domed landing bay. Fred informs us that the Dark Eldar we found in the box was Dread Archon Karskin, leader of the Endless Scream cabal. He got gacked on Redemption fairly recently. Fred also makes it perfectly clear that if he has a moment alone with Proost, he WILL kill him. Good to know.

We disembark and are met by Doge Karvalia and his staff. He’s a scruffy, rustic looking type. Over the vox-bead, we hear Quint say that the Lady is on her way down (counter to our…suggestion)

>tesrs conflict
That's pretty much what happened, captcha

>>14199217
Dodge Karvalia makes some big talk about being the elder of the community at fifty years old. We snicker at that and call him a whipper-snapper. We proceed to try and tell him about the Imperium’s legal claim to the planet and that it is their duty to submit to the lawful authority that’s coming down.

We don’t roll too well and are pretty condescending to him. The negotiations quickly break down.

Karvalia and his men draw their weapons. He has the Doge’s Bolt Pistol and a chainsword. “Aww, look at that antique,” we say. His other men draw various las weapons and 1 has a hellgun.

Vorgen wins initiative, pulls his inferno pistol hoping to end the fight quickly and misses Karvalia wildly. “Well, uh, hmm. Not as planned.”

>>14199256
Remi succeeds at compelling the hellgunner standing behind Karvalia. He suggests that it would be a fantastic idea to shoot the Dodge in the back. The goon obliges and puts a shot into Karvalia, killing him in a shower of gore. The rest of the guards turn to stare at the hellgunner. “What the fuck, Jerry!?”

Before he can answer, Alisander opens up on them with his third eye, bathing them in warpfire, killing them all.

Throughout the fight, Ramirez was just standing off to the side finishing off a sandwich. He nods approvingly. “That was a good sammich.”

“Well, that went well guys,” Vorgen congratulates, flipping open his bolter cane and pouring the team a few shots of celebratory amasec from the installed flask (He’s classy like that).

Lady Torres and her retinue land. She surveys the mutilated bodies. “What happened to my slaves!?” she screams.

“What?” Vorgen shrugs. “They got uppity.”

“Oh. Okay,” she responds.

>>14199283
As the colonists begin landing, we learn that the planet has sizable problem with savage orks raiding the settlements from time to time. They live in the Dark Mountains near the Storm Cliffs. This is shown on a map. They’re going to have to be dealt with, since Lady Torres files them under “local problems to deal with.”

We decide to do a recon flyover in the Jailbait. Since none of us are trained in ship piloting, we convince Interrogator Proost to fly us. The deal is that he will tell Proost about the Dark Eldar corpse in the hands of to the Scholarus Majorus’ possession.

As we fly over, Remi senses thousands of ork minds below us. Alarms start going off and Proost (no longer hiding behind the façade of a dumb adept) says “We’ve got incoming. You boys are going to want to strap in.”

The Jailbait gets hit with a rocket and Proost climbs for altitude. We dodge a few more missiles, then get hit one more time before leaving the atmosphere. The shuttle’s in pretty sore shape and we hail the Primae Noctis and get reeled in.

>>14199323
“See, told you the gold would burn off,” Quint says as we examine the damage. Proost scampers off. Quint points to some rocket fragments. “That ain’t no ork made weapon. Human hands made that.”

We get back to the bridge and Vorgen points down at the mountain range we were just over. “See that range, Quint? Vent your frustrations.”

Quint finally cracks a smile and fires the Melta Cannons. He misses and the shots strike the sea. He fires again and hits this time, then he begins systematically searing and leveling the mountains. Somewhere dirtside, Ballus is pointing at the fire raining down from the heavens and shouting “This is what happens when you piss off the God-Emperor!” to a group of terrified locals.

We have just glassed a mountain range and have (at least temporarily) turned the weather from cold and rainy to warm and humid. Quint lights up an lho-stick and gently pets the firing console.

There are, however, still a couple thousand orks dug into the tunnels.

>>14199361
There is also a situation developing where Lady Torres is demanding Proost back on the planet and Fred wants to come back to the ship ostensibly to “pick up some stuff.” Ramirez suggest a little three card monty with shuttles. Fred will come up as Proost goes down and we don’t tell them about the other’s location. That goes well and a few hours later, we get a call from Proost, asking to know what that information we had to give him was. We start to tell him about the Dark Eldar Cabal that Fred knows about when there is the sound of some kind of gunfire and the line goes dead. Not long after, Fred & Celeste leave for that agriworld.

We decide to go back down and examine what happened to Proost. His quarters are a mess and it looks like orks killed him. Except whatever shots we heard were quiet and extremely un-orky. We relay Quint some pictures.

“Well, I’ve seen a lot of ork attacks in my day. This here is pro work. Problem is, look here, you see this wall here? That’s a mono molecular file. I’d say a shuriken pistol killed this guy then covered it up with ork dakka fire.”

Ramirez thanks him and “arranges” (with his medkit) to bring Quint Proost’s knee as a trophy.

We rifle through Proost’s scholar bag and find two things: an encrypted data slate and a communicator. Vorgen takes the data slate for decryption later. The commuicator goes off. We look at each other and decide that its much more prudent that we just leave it where it is.

>>14199374
Back on the ship, we begin making preparations to go kill some orks. That means clearing out some tunnels. Welcome to the dungeon crawl portion of the mission. We send contingents of goons into various tunnels and prep the Teleportarium for ourselves. Trader Gilliam rouses himself to vox Quint and orders him to go down with us before passing out. Quint refuses, repeating that he doesn’t leave the boat.

We put a case of fine apricot brandy on the Teleportarium pad and hold a bottle out to Quint. He falls for the bait and we shout “NOW!” to the guys at the controls.

We arrive in a cave with lots of tunnels. Loud, angry noises come from the central tunnel ahead of us. We hear the other tunnels starting to fill up with orks. Vorgen fires off his bolter and takes down a greenskin. Quint, seething with rage, sneaks off into the shadows shouting “YOU SONS OF BITCHES! YOU’LL NEVER FIND ME!”

Alisander has picked up a best-quality bloop gun grenade launcher along the way and fires it at Ork Group 1. The frag kills 1 ork.

>>14199389
Ramirez charges the second group in a different tunnel and misses. Ork Group 2 responds by bunching up on Ramirez, but since his power armor blocks the tunnel, only 2 of them are able to attack with chain axes. One hits.

Remi tries to psychically hide himself from the Ork Group 1 and rolls 100. He gets his “Bad Chart” cherry popped. He rolls “The Furies” and is violently slammed to the ground and suffers 5 wounds. He then fails his Fear test and is fatigued. But at least he succeeded at hiding. From two of the three orks he was trying to work on.

Ork Group 3 charges Navigator and miss with their chain axes. Vorgen misses with his bolter. Somewhere from the shadows, Quint hits an ork with a long las, wounding it.

Alisander opens his third eye, spending a fate point to hit a group of orks, hitting but not killing them.

Ramirez chainswords an ork and hits Righteous Fury, nearly bisecting the bastard, but not killing him. Group 2 attacks back. Ramirez parries 1 attack but gets tagged by the other.

>>14199393
One member of Group 1 can see Remi. The other two charge Vorgen and miss horribly. The first guy hits Remi with his chain axe, causing a nasty blow that puts Remi into negative wounds. He’s got a severe gut wound. Remi succeeds at a willpower test to overcome his fear. Writhing in pain and desperately trying to hold his insides INSIDE, he’s in a bad way.

One ork from Group 3 charges Ramirez and misses and one hits Alisander for 3 damage. Vorgen inferno pistols an ork but doesn’t kill it. Quint pops a pistol round into the ork over Remi, but doesn’t kill it.

>>14199448
It is decided we need to get the fuck out of there. Remi is barely able to contact the Teleportarium with a desperate “For the love of the God-Emperor, get us out of here!!”

All of us appear in the bay along with 5 of the orks, who are promptly gunned down by our red shirts. Quint is shouting “THIS is why I NEVER LEAVE THE BOAT!” Ramirez is ranting about how he had them right where he wanted them. Then he gets a load of Remi and rolls for some emergency triage and has to spend a Fate Point to succeed. Medicae is REALLY not his strong suite.

>>14199471
So, what have we learned today? Quint doesn’t leave the boat. Remi’s guts are purple. Vorgen needs to hide and THEN shoot guys. Alisander’s eye trick makes him real tired and sleepy. Ramirez was quite able to hold off a group of five orks by himself.

Crew morale is understandably low after a defeat like that. As acting-captain, Vorgen gets on the comm to raise their spirits and rolls well.

“Okay guys, so today was a little rough. Those orks are dug in there tight and we took some losses. But you’ve got to take the Longview on this. Fights like this aren’t won in a day, and on the bright side, we’re still alive to fight another day. So good job down there and I applaud your effort. Why don’t you all take five. Smoke if you got ‘em.”

>>14199480
Quint decrypts Proost’s data slate, sees the =I= on the screen and hands it to Vorgen. “I ain’t reading that.”

Vorgen has no such compunction and reads it. It is log of Interrogator Proost, detailing his investigation of one Inquisitor Iyacten Veck. Apparently two veteran inquisitors are having it out with each other.

Ramirez rolls well on Forbidden Lore Heresy to remember stuff about Veck. 400 years ago, there was a cult uprising and a Greater Daemon in Gunmetal City. Interrogators Veck & Crictchlow were acolytes of Inquisitor Globus Vaarak. The uprising was successfully put down, but at great cost. And Vaarak was assassinated by a man known as Jack the World-Killer. Critchlow accused Veck of arranging Vaarak’s death. There were some inquiries and trials and Veck was cleared of heresy, though he had a reputation as a radical. Critchlow is a raging monodominant and that didn’t sit well with her. Both were promoted to Inquisitor status and a real rivalry developed. Every few centuries, both try to screw each other in some elaborate fashion and have been fighting this private war for the last 400 years. Veck is also rumored to be an extremely powerful psyker while Critchlow was once a cleric of the God-Emperor and as an Inquisitor, has burned worlds for heresy in the past.

So, with the knowledge that this Inquisitorial Shitstorm is spilling out into our trade interests, its time to lick our wounds, pat ourselves on the back for overthrowing a government in two shots, think of a better plan to kill those orks, and just make it to Rank 2.

End of Session.

So as it currently stands, we've overthrown the government of a planet in two shots, the astropath nearly got himself killed through bad luck and are finding ourselves slowly being drawn into the conflict between two Inquisitors.

All in a day's work.

and the thread's archived
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14198776/

Next time: We go for Round 2 against the Orks with a full crew. More almost deaths! An ork named Bonk! The Astropath hides in a pile of grain!

>>14199642
You son of a bitch! We want more NOW!

>>14199666
As loathe as I am to defy those kinds of trips, I've got to go eat and look through the play notes for week 3 and start converting them to something that makes narrative sense.

Rest assured, Week 3 is where shit really goes bananas.

>>14199758
>shit really goes bananas

The Jokaero get involved?

>>14199974
Quit monkeying around.